#I know because I've been obsessively looking and treating our side

[hafwen]

My mom has fleas living in her apartment and is in complete denial about it so my husband is going to have to go treat her apartment because I am not letting a kitten go anywhere near a place infested with fleas

[charmedreincarnation]

When I say that this journey is real, and our struggles are not in vain, I am shouting it from the rooftops. A month ago, I woke up with my dream life. Obsessed with the "void state", I woke up one day being the same person but with an entirely new life. All because I chose it.

Your efforts aren't going unnoticed. The universe is always on your side. You are the universe. It's been a month, and I still feel overwhelmed with joy and wonder every single day.

I was once poor and battling depression, a reality many can relate to. But we found the law because we knew we deserved more. You can be ordinary, flawed, even unkind, but you can choose to transform and have it all. And I did just that. My parents, who were illegal immigrants working underpaid jobs, are now wealthy and respected figures. My last name alone garners recognition, and I am a socialite earning money just by being me.

I used to live in an attic infested with cockroaches. Now, I reside in a four-story mansion, complete with exotic cars, house help, cooks, drivers - all treated and compensated fairly. We also own three other houses across the United States.

I was once insecure, severely underweight, and bullied. Today, not only am I stunningly beautiful, but I am also praised for my fashion sense. I was once a dull person, but now I am radiant with positivity.

I attended an underfunded school where I was bullied, and teachers lacked resources to intervene. Now, I study at a prestigious private school that assures my entry into an Ivy League university. Finally, I am respected and appreciated.

I was lonely and uninteresting. Now, I am vibrant with a close-knit group of friends and a man who seems straight out of a Wattpad story. He's perfect, and he's mine.

This transformation happened overnight. And I've been on this journey since 2020. But how??? I surrendered to my imagination!

The void was overwhelming, but now I can easily navigate it. I was tired of giving my power away. So, I gave in to myself, to my dreams. I knew I deserved it. Even if I didn't believe it at times, I made the choice. If you desire something, it's already yours. It's done.

I didn't have a list or anything of my desires, just a vision of happiness. I didn't know what it looked like, but I knew how it felt. Now, I embody that feeling every day. My life is a series of plot twists. It's not perfect, but my worst days now are what I once prayed for. That old life? POOF It's gone. All I have is now, and I'm living it to the fullest.

My advice?

Stop seeking proof. If you're looking for proof, you'll never manifest your dreams because the only thing that needs to change is self. Doubt is a reflection of your disbelief in yourself. When I surrendered to my imagination, it didn't matter who was lying or telling the truth, because I had my truth. The burden of proof lies within you. It's called the law of assumption. You might harbor some doubt, but you must have faith like the devout. They believe without proof. You can too! We all can! Believe in yourself, and the universe will conspire in your favor!!!!

I agree! Your words resonated with me a lot. Faith, particularly self-faith, is such an important tool in shaping our realities. The ability to trust ourselves, our desires, and our potential is essential in manifesting our dream life, and it’s only so beautiful to slowly see yourself give yourself all your trust when you’ve never even liked yourself.

You're spot on about the issue of seeking confirmation from others. It's an unnecessary hurdle that we give ourselves but it’s human nature. Our truths and dreams should not be validated by anyone else but us. As you said, why should it matter if someone lied or told the truth? We are the creators of our own lives and thus, the only validation we need comes from within.

And I wholeheartedly agree with your point about deservingness. We don't have to earn our desires or prove ourselves worthy of them. If we want something, that desire alone makes us deserving of it.

More importantly I am very proud and happy for you !!!! You’re a testament of what our own imagination can do for us and I hope you only keep getting happier and happier <3!!!!

[slayfics]

Explosive Tendencies a slow burn fan fiction about the readers developing relationship with Katsuki Bakugo.

Chapter Twenty: Planning for the School Festival.

Chapter links

After Mina dragged you out of Katsuki's room and forced you into what she called "girl's study night" a screaming match ensued between you and her.

She insisted you explain why you went "crawling back" to Katsuki when he didn't even apologize.

You kept telling her that's not how things happened, but she wasn't satisfied. To be fair you weren't giving her the whole story. But- how could you?

Katsuki had come to you confidently to vent about the guilt he had been carrying around due to All Might losing his power. Katsuki assumed it was all his fault for getting kidnapped and had been carrying that weight around all this time.

You weren't about to break his trust and out his vulnerability to all the girls in the class.

Why couldn't Mina just trust you had a good reason to be friends with him again?

"Listen, I get you have a big crush on him but- that doesn't make it ok for you to let him treat you like garbage!" Mina yelled. You felt your face become hot as the rest of the girl's mouths had dropped open. What happened to Mina waiting for you to be ready to say that? This fight was really all it took for her to expose you in front of the rest of the girls? You felt your hands begin to shake with anger.

"I don't know why you're so invested in this Ashido! Is it because you're jealous?! You're the one who's been obsessed with who likes who and going around saying you want to fall in love someday! Why do you even care what I do? It doesn't concern you!" You yelled

Mina stood stunned by your words for a moment before defeatedly exclaiming, "You're right- it doesn't concern me," and walking away.

You two hadn't talked since.

She kept her distance from you in classes and training, and in the common room you could feel her staring daggers at you any time you were near Katsuki.

You tried to brush it off and stay focused on your work, but it became increasingly annoying to feel her negative energy around you every day.

The next day in class Aizawa announced that the School Festival would be occurring as it does every year, and your class needed to choose an event to put on.

The class erupted with ideas and arguments about ideas that never reached a conclusion. Aizawa had told your class that if you didn't have an idea by morning you would be going with his idea of a public lecture.

After class, almost everyone hung around in the common room to discuss ideas. Katsuki walked past everyone discussing and said he was going to sleep.

You looked around and made eye contact with Mina who was giving you a nasty glare. You let out a sigh and followed after Katsuki.

"Tch- following me?" he asked as you stepped into the elevator with him.

"I'm not trying to stay down here with Ashido giving me side eye all night. Besides you heard them in class. They didn't care for our ideas anyway," You responded as Katsuki pressed the elevator button to the fourth floor.

Katsuki grunted in agreement. "Whatever they choose is going to be lame as hell anyway, and I don't give a fuck. I've got enough to deal with from the supplement classes for the provisional license," he said as you both made your way into his dorm.

He sat on his bed, and you sat on his rolling chair.

"How have those been anyway?" You asked, trying to keep the worry out of your voice. You knew it had to be a lot, juggling those classes on top of everything else in the hero courses at U.A. 

"I'm fine- you don't need to ask," Katsuki said then looked away from you glaring at the floor as he contemplated. " You and Raccoon Eyes still haven't talked since that day?" he asked.

Katsuki wasn't dumb, he knew Mina was upset at you because from her perspective it looked like he had ignored you for three days then seemingly came back with no explanation. He knew you didn't tell Mina the truth- how he had cried like a damn baby to you that night shortly after his fight with Deku. He was grateful you didn't- but also felt guilty for putting a wedge in your friendship with Mina.

"No," you answered. "But I don't give a damn, she's just an extra anyway, right?" You teased.

Katsuki let out an amused huff. He knew you were lying. Of course, you cared. He noticed Mina was the only other person in the class you had gotten close to besides him and Eijiro.

"Yeah," he said still staring at the floor. If he could have, he would have thanked you for keeping his privacy and he would have apologized for rupturing your friendship, but... he just couldn't. So instead- "You want to get working on one of the dumb assignments we have due soon?"

"Yeah," You smiled at him excited for the invitation to work with him.

Katsuki glanced at your smile before making his way to grab his study materials. You were always so happy to be around him even when he knew he had to be a miserable company. It didn't make sense to him- but... he didn't hate it.

You two worked on your assignment until Katsuki declared it was getting too late. You looked at your phone and rolled your eyes.

"Still on grandpa time, huh?" you teased.

"Hey! I have a good sleep schedule and I need it with all this extra work alright!" He barked.

"I know I know- I'm just messing with you," you said and began to pack up your study supplies.

Katsuki eyed you putting your stuff away for a moment and then laid down on his bed stretching out.

You swung your backpack on your back, "Get some rest then Grandpa," you said playfully at him.

"Hm?" He said eyeing you. "You- don't have to leave," he said.

You froze and stared at him, returning his gaze. He was asking you to stay?

You dropped your backpack and sat back down on his rolling chair eyeing him curiously.

"You comfortable over there?" He asked.

"Uh-," You mumbled unsure of how to answer. You were unsure what he was trying to get at?

"You fell asleep over here before brat- you can make yourself more comfortable," he said in response to your quizzical look.

You felt your breath catch in your throat. Was he asking you to join him on the bed?

You moved slowly as you sat on the bed awkwardly.

Katsuki scoffed, "So- what stupid event do you think those extras are going to choose?"

"No idea- but if they choose Kaminari's maid cafe, I will be murdering someone," You responded laughing.

"Hm- too bad you wouldn't look bad in a maid outfit," Katsuki said laughing.

A bright blush illuminated your face.

"Oh shit- relax I'm just kidding, no need to turn into a damn tomato," he said laughing again.

You tried to brush off your reaction and turned away to hide your face. "Hey- you sure you want me in here much longer?" You asked.

"The hell do you mean? Would have told you to get the fuck out if I didn't," Katsuki said.

"It's just- I don't know- I'm sure you heard."

"Heard what?" He asked.

"Some of those rumors that spread around when Ashido pulled that stunt and dragged me out of your room when I tried to hide from her in the restroom," You explained After that night when the boys had seen your fight with Ashido, someone had run with some assumptions of why you were hiding in Katsuki's room.

"Oh," Katsuki exclaimed now understanding. "Look you can go if you want. Those extras are nosy as hell and need to mind their damn business. But- I don't give a damn about what any of them have to say so-," Katsuki said.

He was never good at words, so he couldn't just simply say he liked your company and didn't want you to leave. Especially now that you brought up those rumors he heard. He didn't want to feel like he was forcing you to stay.

"Just go if you're uncomfortable," He concluded.

"No! I- I don't care either... I just- whatever it doesn't matter," you said deciding to leave the conversation alone.

To Katsuki's surprise, you laid down next to him, "Ok- so who had the worst idea of an event?" You asked.

Katsuki let out an amused laugh, "Iida, who the fuck would come to a history lesson?!"

You laughed at his response, and the two of you talked until you had both dosed off into sleep.

Tags: @anon-mouse223 @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @sikuthealien @queenpiranhadon @melrs21 @poemzcheng @kazuumii @bakunianadecorazon @ur-crusty-uncle @reads-stuff-quietly @chixkadee @perfectsukii @faetoraa @fem-weeb @nagicats @lees-chaotic-brain @maelibo

Just wanted to thank you all for reading and update you that there are 4 more chapters left!

[xxavengingangelxx]

I am very curious about your version of Graves, I want to hear a detailed run down from you on how he’d be like in a romantic situation, would he commit? would he get married? would he “fall in love”, would he want a trophy wife to show off? I am just very curious and would love to hear you speak about this. I want to know what he’d be like if he actually did commit to a long term relationship or marriage, and what kind of woman would make him commit if so? I personally feel like he’d get married to a woman who works alongside him in shadow company, it just makes sense for him to get with somebody who is on the same level of psychopathy as him and understands his actions and behaviour, more so, he’d love being around a woman like that in my opinion. somebody who is as intelligent and knows how PMC’s work and can help him manage it too.

This is a good question! Sorry it took a while work has been absolutely insane. Like 60+ work weeks and now I have Hurricane Beryl headed my way! I use she/her pronouns just because that’s what I wrote my fic about but I think it certainly applies the other way around, too! 😉 I also found out after copy-pasting I've exceeding the character limit so this is part 1! Triggers for mentions of domestic violence and dubcon.

ALSO: This is my version of Graves based on what I know and based on the limited information we have. Another anon post said I had Graves wrong, a different opinion. Totally okay! We all have our own versions of him.

Graves in a romantic situation. This is a difficult one. I think it would be very difficult for Graves to differentiate between romance/love and possessiveness. In a fic I wrote, Graves decides OC is his immediately upon meeting her. I think he would be similarly inclined in the civilian world. I’m not sure if he could a civilian could handle Graves, to be honest ☹But he would be similarly possessive. When this type of man (narcissistic with a touch of psychopathy/sociopathy, and if I’m honest, just a little sadism) is deeply interested in a woman, he gets her one way or another.

My version of Graves likely wouldn’t give his chosen partner a choice. In the military, he’d use his clearances (and his Shadows!) to keep track of her. He’d treat a civilian the same way. He’d follow her and then act like: “Hey! Weird running into you here!” when in his head he’s thinking, “I better not see you talking with any other men.”

I think he would commit/not cheat but not for the reasons normal people would. He would commit because he’s obsessed. He would commit because stalking someone and making sure they don’t escape you once you have a hold of them is like two full-time jobs even with his Shadows. And if we’re talking about a female I can see Graves being worried about said female trying to seduce a Shadow to let her go. If she’s on the smaller side, there’s the risk of her slipping out somewhere. His mobile job would help in the sense that his wife would be clueless as to where she was most of the time. She would never go anywhere alone. He’s got a PMC to run. And when he has down time, he’s tired.

He would love showing off his wife. In a fic I wrote he does just that. He would marry to legally tie his wife to him. And in COD, to make it a legal barrier for her to testify against him. She wouldn’t have a choice. I can totally see him pregnancy trapping his wife to further trap her with him. He’d say there was no way she’d leave and take his children and she’s not going to leave her children behind so she stays. I can’t say him mentioning his kids too much as he realizes they would be a bigger target for his enemies. Even Graves has a bit of a heart when it comes to kids.

I see Graves having more of a traditionalist especially since he’s a conservative type from Texas. I'm a Texan living in Texas y'all: Graves is typical down here (but most of them aren't as good looking!) I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the type to think: the man works, the wife stays home, raises kids, and spends all her time with her husband when he’s home. However, I can also see him wanting to keep said wife busy so her mind isn’t on escape. After kiddos start entering scene, I see him putting her on intel or something like that. Work from home, ma'am.

Graves would absolutely be attracted to intelligence because Graves is smart. Generally, if there is a big mismatch between intelligence (IQ) between parties, they struggle with not only communication but common interests. I think he would want any children he has to inherit that intelligence and continue his company.

An upside (I guess?): Graves is rich as fuck. His wife would have everything and anything she wants (except freedom, ha).

-OC wants an SUV to transport the kids on base? "Sure, darlin’ I already ordered a top-model Audi/Porche." (By the way, when traveling off base, she and the kids are in a military, armored vehicle with no windows. Graves knows his enemies will try to target them.)

-OC wants to be in a home-like environment on base to give the kids somewhat of a normal life? "Of course, sweetheart. Custom built. Whaddaya want?" (No way they would ever live in a normal neighborhood, too risky.)

-OC asks about schooling since they’re constantly moving around. “Don’t worry about it, love. Paid private school, one-on-one attention online and one-on-one in-person attention in the US. I’m not putting them in the shitty public school system. I want them in military universities.” (Plus, they’d start their military education young.)

I think that Graves, like most full-blood psychopaths/sociopaths as well as those who have a touch of it like Graves, he would equate giving his wife whatever she wanted (except freedom!), any material thing she wanted as well as his kids the best of everything with love. He’d equate sex, even dubcon sex, as love.

Now, more about kids. He’d want the best for his kids but there’s no damn way the kids would get whatever they wanted. He’s got some psychopath in him (see Graves Defragged posts as to why, based on the info we have, he does not score high enough on the psychopathy scale) so he’d literally shape his kids’ (and his wife’s tbh) behavior with positive reinforcement because that is what he responds to. Being a narcissist, he believes everyone thinks like him and that everyone responds to positive reinforcement (but in reality there are other ways of shaping behavior like negative reinforcement, negative punishment, and positive punishment). He literally cannot empathize or put himself in someone else’s shoes (again, see Graves Defragged posts). It’s not that he feels guilt/empathize and chooses to ignore it. This man’s brain is physically wired differently and cannot, cannot, CANNOT feel it. So of course he’d think positive reinforcement is the only way to shape behavior.

Now, Graves’s version of discipline. Yikes. Do I see Graves hitting his partner? Absolutely. Graves is in general not impulsive, especially when it comes to important, long-term decisions. For my Criminal Minds fans, he'd be an organized serial killer, not a disorganized one if that helps. His brain structure is different so his limbic system (the more animalistic part of our brains) can be overwhelming to him and I can see this overtaking his prefrontal lobes (PFC) when emotions are involved. What happens? He will lash out with violence, like, with little warning. (I can write another post as to how most homicides are actually crimes of passion, between people who know each other and not planned out/between strangers like the media/TV shows make it out to be.) He will hit his wife, hard, if she gets (what he deems to be) “out of line.” I can’t really see him doing it all the time. But I can definitely see that if his partner pisses him off enough, that partner can easily spend a few nights in a hospital. Yes, Graves sees his wife as somewhat below him: someone needing guidance, direction, and discipline.

For the kids: He’s the disciplinarian, no doubt and the kids go to mom for comfort. Mom gets in the way? He’ll shove her at the least. I can’t really see him seriously hurting his kids. His kids are half him and he’s narcissistic, remember?

There’s emotion involved and based on what I’ve been trained in, men like Graves can only feel two emotions strongly: joy…and rage. We’ve all gotten angry and done/said something we regretted. Imagine that tenfold with an overactive limbic system and some glitches in the frontal lobes.

Now: In one of my darker fics, Graves writes (and then burns) a letter to OC where he starts to feel some kind of guilt. But, xxavengingangelxx, you said he couldn’t feel that! I know 😉 But we all love somewhat happy endings, right? We all love seeing Graves with somewhat of a human side. That’s why I added that little tidbit even though in real life, he wouldn’t be able to feel that. In my fic he’d continue to blame OC for what she went through because “she should’ve talked when we first got her.”

Wow, ok. Two pages of this. I need to shut up. I went to school for this, I trained in this, I see this every day, and I read on average a book a week on this topic. I’m obsessed fascinated!

Anon, I hope I answered both your questions 😊 Any other questions, let me know!

[heartfullofleeches]

A healer takes care of their stalker in a completely sane and normal way.

Yandere Stalker + Healer Reader Drabble

Summary: As the title says.

Warning: Violence and Injury, spit mentions, and themes of masochism.

-

They meet you at the batting cage - kust like your note said.

How their twisted heart flew seeing that little piece of paper tucked under your pillow. They always made an effort to act with caution, but it soon became apparent that you were fully aware of all activities taking place within your own home.

How could you not with all the love that they give? Words of endearment left on your bathroom wall. Fresh meals in your fridge. The best way into someone's heart is their stomach, and a greater way to know them better than anyone else is watching their every move. Considering you scheduled this encounter, you must be as enamored with them as they are obsessed with you.

That tiny heart at the end of your letter told them so.

You're alone in the field with they arrive. Muscles glimmering with sweat, eyes focus as you unleash heavy swing after swing into the unrelenting night. Your stalker came an hour early to arrange a surpise, but it seems you beat them to it. It didn't bring their spirits down by much. The rope could be used another time. You must still be in the middle of practice. They've never seen you on a team, but with your recent outings to this location you had to be searching. Your form has gotten well. Not to mention how intimating, yet graceful you look deep in focus. Everyone would look your way. Since you'll be married so, they wonder if they can get you to avoid seekingq depth this new found hobby.

Your arms fall to your sides as the door to the cage opens, hand relaxed around the metal handle. They make sure to shut the gate behind them.

"My love..."

"So... you're the person who's been stalking me?"

Your stalker tugs on the strings of their hoodie. Stalking is such a harsh word to use. How can one stalk the love of their life?

"I...Don't make such a harsh accusation, darling."

Your skin crawls. "Only reason you would be here now. Watching me sleep, harassing my neighbors...friends."

The devotion they've withheld bubbles over as they step towards you. "Everything I've ever done I do for you and our future, Dearest. I'm sorry for the way I've treated those we know, but they get too comfortable around you for my liking."

You let them talk, get closer - adding justification to what you are about to do. Your hand tightens around the bat's leather strap.

"Sweet angel, you're too perfect for your own good. I've tried before to stay away from you, but I struggle to breath if I am not by your side."

They draw closer. You can smell their clothes and the scent they wear. The same fragrance that has haunted your home and bed for months. Your other hand wraps around the bat, feet and shoulders squared.

"So yes, I have watch you, but I have never nor would ever caused you harm. I need you more than life itself. From your letter, you feel the same, no? Let's become one-"

They've crossed the line. Literally. Their fingers brush your elbow as their arms rise, feet planting on the mark you drew in the sand before they arrived. It's too late for them to realize yours were already clocked back and swinging forward as they dive for an embrace that would never could. There's the sharp whistle of metal flying through the air, followed by a hollow, wet thud - then silence.

"I had to buy a lock for my trashcan because of you."

Everything is dark. They can barely hear; muffled rants of your angelic voice grounding them in a gradually fading reality. The bat connected directly with their left temple, rattling their bludgeoned brain in their skull and leaving them concussed on the dirt floor. Their heart beats in tune with each gush of blood out of side of their head, hairline dyed a deep maroon.

"D-dar...."

Bleeding out, they still call to you. Still desperate for you - the person who's made an attempt on their life. Like most they feared the end, but if this was how it came they could see no exectioner they'd prefer. The memory of their battered body and crimson blood would forever been engraved in your memory. There was no honor creator than that. Scowling, you kick their hand off your shoe and drag themself onto their knees by their hair.

"I'm not going to kill you. Stay still."

Collecting a mass of fluid on your tongue, you spit in their face. The shot narrowly missing their eye and gets into the wound. They twitch, tongue drooping from their mouth from pain and the need to collect the excess drool mixed into the trickle of red down their cheek. A wave of relief overcomes them as your saliva mixes into their blood stream. The gash in their head closes in on itself and the brain numbing headache throbs to extinction. Its effect lingers and they stare up at you in puzzled awe.

What just happened?

"Don't say a word. You don't get to speak, or ask any questions. If you come near me again, I'll bash your brains in until there's nothing for me to fix."

You roughly drop them on the ground, gather your things, and leave. Your stalker stares up at the sky; love born anew and stronger than before. You let them live. You really are an angel. How ever would they leave you alone now?

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

you ain't woman enough

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

Summary : some crazy diehard fan claims to steal your man, of course- you won't let that happen

Word Count : not too long, I hope

Warnings : 18+ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, reader and Eddie are both (25) also they're MARRIED to each other, no use of y/n, Gareth is (18), Jeff is (20) mentions of a fan having self-harm history, the lunatic fan (I named her Delancy, she's 18) can be very invasive, disrespectful, delusional and too obsessed with Eddie, alcohol consumption, mentions of pregnancy at the end, I think that's just it tho

What to Expect : angst and fluff teehee

Note To Reader : guys, you're not going to believe this because my fever just bounced back again making me suffer once more 💀 (but I'm good right now don't worry)

Author Note : LOVE LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH- OF COURSE YOU KNOW I'VE HAD TO MAKE A FIC WITH IT ;)) (idk if I feel satisfied about this fic but here it goes)

You and Eddie have been together for ages

A bit dramatic, isn't it?

But no, seriously, it's like you spend a lifetime every minute, hour and seconds being with him

Since high school, Eddie thought it's cruel joke when you talked to him for the first time

He had a bit of time to grow on you back then, but when you finally get to know him when he unsheds his layers of showing the tough act to people at school

He is actually very sweet

That's where it all took off

You're always been there

The Hellfire Club campaigns, The Hideout sessions, the best part is that you we're also there when he got his long-awaited diploma

Wayne loves you, gosh, Eddie can still vividly remember the teasing moments that make him so freaking embarrassed when it revealed that Eddie has a crush on you

It's the most silliest confession that you both shared to each other, giggling at the same time

It's also wholesome in a way that you feel like yourself when you're with him than you're own

That's says something

You watch him grew to become one of the highest paid rock bands all of time, Corroded Coffin

Back in graduation in college, he said that he'll marry you and you'll be on his side while he's touring around the world

The words you told him never left his mind

"Always keep your dreams alive, Ed's"

You both love metal music, films, obviously certified nerds, always excited when you're both talking about your favorites

I mean- what's not to love?

"You're ready? sweetheart?"

"Yeah"

You gave him 360° turn to your full ensemble for the tonight's show

Oh, he was stunned at it, he takes a minute to process

"Well?"

"You look fantastic- I mean- hot, super super hot"

You snort "Okay, let's go rockstar"

You've prepared yourself for this since the beginning, the moment that Eddie got himself big time at a record label

You know what you're in for

You're ready to face it all, the tabloids, loads of paparazzi everywhere, awestruck fans that recognize the both of you walking in the streets of L.A

You also know once you entered this business, there's no longer privacy that you knew before

The fandom that Eddie has is like a freaking movement almost like an activist, every false lies, rumors, gossips, they defend him with his bandmates

You adore them, really, grateful for it

The head of the official fanbase of Corroded Coffin is really nice and respects everyone of you, even treat you like normal human beings

They organized parties when it's time for an occasion like Corroded Coffin won a Grammy, New Year's, when someone in the band has a birthday, it's really great

Sometimes, you wish every fan is just like that, or sometimes even not a fan, you wished they'll treat you kindly

While eating lunch with Eddie at a local diner downtown

"You know, there's a young girl keeps looking at our spot for like 30 mins now" Eddie is wearing Ray-Ban black sunglasses as he quietly speaks as he takes a sip of his coffee

You had a mouth full of philly cheesesteak as you turned around to find what your husband is referring to

There, you spot her, when you catch her eyes, she simply look away shyly

You hum as you shrug "It looks like she wants to say something"

"Oh, boy, here she comes"

Before you can react to what he just said, she's now standing to where you both seated but she gave a distance for personal space that leaves an impression to the both of you

Eddie caught a glimpse of the young girl's wrist with marks of healed pocks, you saw it too, he watches her intently but when he saw how genuine her eyes are, he knows this isn't some weird fanatic

You cleared your throat as you smile at the young girl

"Uh- hi, I'm so very sorry, if I made you both uncomfortable but I- I just want to express my gratitude, your songs really helped me a lot and ever since I stopped doing it for 5 years already and I feel a whole lot better and uh- your love story has always been my favorite- it's very inspiring and I've always been looking up to the both of you and uh- yeah thanks for everything" she leaves at that

the young girl went on and on with her slightly ducked down too shy to even look at the both of your eyes

"That's really sweet" you say with twinkling eyes as you kept your eyes on the young girl

"Wow, see- this is why I'm doing this! I will keep on making music when something like that happens! I can help people!" He beams exhilaratingly with a smile

"Eddie, haven't you realized you've been doing this since highschool?" You hold his hand across the table

"Yes, I know and I will do what I do best" he winks and you by that look

You know he's gonna make this interaction memorable

"Hey, kid"

The young girl almost can't believe the Eddie Munson called her out

"We appreciate you so much" he says as he picked the whole new latest album from his bag

Young girl is appalled, felt weak on the knees almost, you giggled at her reaction

To make everything go insane, he even signed the album cover

You hand it out to her "We're so proud of you"

She takes it with shaky hands as she laughs "I-I'm sorry, I'm freaking out inside, thank you so very much"

"You'll be the first person to hear it"

"I'll listen to it once I get home, I will never forget this day in my life!"

You and Eddie both chuckled "Treasure it, sweetie! You deserve it!"

"I love you both so much, you have absolutely no idea! um- I'll be attending your show this coming Saturday" you shyly added with a grin

You squealed as you look at Eddie with excitement, he took his glasses off

"That's very metal, dear" he makes a rock n roll sign as the kid does the same time, both shared laughs

You watched the kid happily as she runs over to her parents with the album in hand as they become starstrucked when they saw both of you, waving at their daughter

You sigh in content "Isn't that just awesome?!?" You slam your hands on the table feeling giddy

Eddie throws his head back in laughter as his mind replays the endearing interaction earlier

"My manager is going to kill me after this"

"Oh, yeah right- you weren't supposed to reveal your latest album yet"

"I doubt it she'll not spread it to everyone"

"I'll drink to that"

Turns out, both of your guts we're right, the young girl didn't leaked the whole ass album for the whole world to hear

The tour was going fantastic, the crowd roars, screams, cheers everyone is going nuts once the band came out the stage

The after-party is your favorite part when the set is done, it's just you, Eddie, Jeff and Gareth hanging out

It's like old times, the difference is that all of you are a part of public figures now

But, no, never once or anyone of you let that get into your head, you don't want to believe or let yourself be aware of that "I'm a celebrity and you're nothing" type of shit, all of you remained humble since day one

No wonder why people adored you so much

Jeff finished his degree last year, now he's got himself a babe beside him, Gareth only have 2 years left at his college

He is so sick of it already, but he won't stop until he finally graduated

"Now, I get it why- Eddie feels so fucking drained after college" Gareth groans as he sats down next to you

"But my tutoring while on the tour bus helped, right?" You gave him an sympathetic smile

He smiles tiredly "Yeah, I'm just so exhausted but I'm almost there"

"That's the spirit!"

"Man, I don't know how you do it, are you getting enough sleep?" Jeff chimes in as he drinks his beer as he awaits for his friend to answer

"I don't even remember when's the last time I got a good night's sleep"

"Your time has run out" a voice rudely interrupted your conversation

You, Jeff, Gareth turn around at the girl who is standing closer to you

Jeff and Gareth shared confusion looks to each other

"Excuse me?" You say as look at her directly

"I said he's done with you"

"Who?"

"Eddie"

Jeff makes a face and Gareth is unamused, offended by it

You tried your best to be polite as you wave your hand in front of her dismissively, maybe it's just some girl who mistakenly thought you're someone that she knew

"He doesn't love you anymore"

Who is this person? You think to yourself

You laugh incredulously as you lean forward, Jeff and Gareth looked at you and thinks why you're aren't doing anything to be mean just for once

They're watching the nicest argument ever

"You have to let him go" she says as she crossed both of her arms

"Why would I do that?"

"So, I can take him"

You, Jeff and Gareth looked at each other with knowing looks as you tried to keep your composure stable

The bartender is clearly knows what the fuck is going on and couldn't help but to bite back a laughter as well

"Ooh- okay, hot shot- gimme a sec" you say with a mockery on your voice as you bit your lip to stop bursting to any second

You kick Jeff and elbowed Gareth to stop them from snickering

"Hey, Francis" you paid for the tabs, you treat the guys for the drink tonight

"You didn't have to-"

"I insist, you always gave me fine drinks and you never let me pay? Come on- take it"

The older man smiles and sighs and muttered a small thank you

All of you go down to your rotating circle chairs, but before you left her, you twirl around with a teasing smile

She became annoyed at you, you didn't even know what the hell she's annoyed at you for

"Sorry to burst your bubble, you can't do that"

"What makes you think that I can't?" She snaps and it makes you amused

Jeff and Gareth make a teasing "Oooh's" as you flipped the guys off behind your back

"Because-" you looked at her from top to bottom

She really wasted her beauty for pulling a stunt like this?

"You aren't there yet"

You know, she ain't gonna understand that phrase because she's young, you didn't even bother to explain what it means so you turn heel and left her at it

You wiggle your fingers at her as you wave goodbye and she watches the three you finally booming the streets with the loud cackles

At the backstage, 10 mins left before the show starts

"Eddie! Stand still!" You say as you fix his outfit

"I've been performing for years and I still get nervous" he says with a unsure smile

"That's totally normal, Eddie, once you get out of there and feel all of the people energy and literally once you start singing? You'd be great like you always do" you say as you finish doing touch ups to his look

He didn't replied, he instead hugged you

"Oh" you got startled at his sudden action but you melt with it

"Thank you, sweetheart"

"Anytime, Ed's"

A frequent knock is going on the door, almost breaking it, he swung it open- he got cutt off by someone

"Alright, alright! I'll be there-"

"Where have you been?!? I've looked for you everywhere!"

"What-"

"Didn't you missed me?!?"

You lean onto your side of the doorframe with arms crossed as Eddie looked at you for help almost like he's saying "Do you have any idea who is this person?!?"

The young lady who you encountered last night meet your eyes, you swore you saw the fire ignited once you came into the frame

"What is she doing here?!?"

Eddie is so perplexed as he continues to look at the random girl and you just smirk to yourself

She reached for Eddie's hand as he became so stunned at her action and you raised both of your eyebrows at her boldness

The audacity of this person is wild

"Honey? Care to explain, please?" Eddie is obviously trying to let go of the grip that she's holding onto him

"Oh, I just met her last night and how rude of me not knowing your name- if you even had one" you sarcastically speak up, it's very comedic to watch her face crumpled up to your smugness

"It's Delancy"

"Yeah, right- Delancy!" You act like it was the most interesting information ever

Eddie is watching you with a wolfish grin, he finally understood it

"I'm here to support my boyfriend" she lOviNgLy looks up at Eddie, the situation doesn't even get worse from there as he looks at you through his bangs as he purses his lips together

"Sweetie, before you can get to him, I'll have to move over and I'm gonna stand right here"

"You can't!"

"It will be over my dead body"

Eddie finally got away from the hold as he looks at her with fake sympathetic smile with a pout as he throws both of his hands in defense

You glanced at the corner and saw the security guards probably looking for her

You lean closer as you say "So, get out while you can" you nudge your chin towards the guards and she panic as she runs away

"Oh my fucking god" Jeff jogs as he tries to catch up his breath

"Give me a minute" Gareth holds up a finger as he pants

"So, she's the girl that you little shitheads talking about, huh?"

Both of the young men nod as they chuckled slightly

"Can't believe she got herself inside" you scoff as you shake your head

"Hmm, maybe there's a way to end this ridiculousness" Eddie smirks as all of you looked at him in confusion

The show is exhilaratingly amazing, Eddie called out for you, is this his plan?

You shyly get up on the stage as the crowd cheers for your name

Once you walked closer to Eddie he pulled you in for a kiss

You're surprised but managed to recover as you wrap your arms around him as you kiss him back

Jeff whistles as Gareth clapped aggressively

The whole crowd screamed harder as Eddie pulled you closer more to him as if that were possible, you became flustered as you break the kiss from running out of breath but Eddie?!? Kept stealing kisses as you giggled

"My beautiful wife everybody!" Eddie announces in the microphone not caring if your lipstick is all over his face

"Thank you guys for the insane night! We love you! We appreciate all of your support! Take care and we'll see you soon! Keep on rockin'!" Eddie left with that as Jeff and Gareth came onto your side as they join you for a bow before all of you waved goodbye and exit the stage

The interview is happening in the morning after the last night's show

"Have you heard about the rumor? There's basically a young girl claiming your husband, Eddie, to be as her boyfriend? What is your comment about this?"

Gareth chimes in with a smirk on his face as he leans over to steal a moment in the camera "No comment" he says as Eddie, Jeff snickered as you chuckled as well

"Yeah, I did, I even interacted with her- she seems....interesting"

"Interesting for a therapy" Jeff adds as the three man crack up to his joke

"She even said that Eddie looked at her at the concert last evening" the interviewer spoke up as you can watch Eddie genuinely reacted to this

"Oh my god" Eddie rubs his face as he hides his face buried on his palms as he tries not to laugh

"Well, a man looks at things sometimes that he doesn't need, I think she's referring to what happened at the backstage-"

"I took a second look-" Eddie narrows his eyes at you

"But he's in love with me" you point to yourself ignoring your cheeks blush

"Exactly" Eddie grins as you held his hand

"She even said that the kiss that happened was a fake"

"I don't know where that leaves her" you shrug at the interviewer

"You know where you stand"

You chortled at the interviewer's remark, knowing that this will even more pissed her off

"Precisely, I know where I stand" you agree as you nod

"And there you have it, folks, The Corroded Coffin, it's such a delight to finally to get to talk to you all and the man of the hour, Eddie Munson with his wife, Jeff and Gareth the icons behind the band, Thank you for tuning in!" The interviewer wraps it all up

"Please, do invite your fans to come on over to your tours"

"it's our pleasure, to share our music around the world and all we wanna do is just inspire people" Eddie smiles at the camera while he always pulled you into his side, you love that he never fails to show you off

As the airing ends, Eddie whispers to your ear

"Let's make her even more furious" Eddie bites his lips as he could think for a conniving idea

You snorted at him with a playful smile

"Telling to everyone that you're having a baby" he winks

"Eddie!" You push him playfully on the chest but he laughs as he carries you and spins around at the studio

But he ain't wrong with that, you'll even consider it later ;))

[animeyanderelover]

I really love the reborn sister from our world hc, what will the sakamaki do if she was the older one but this time she managed to go back to her world and bring yui with her?

It's been ages since I've written that Hc's. Anyways, I always appreciate platonic stuff.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, manipulation, stalking, clinginess, guilt-tripping, mental instability, threats, paranoia, self-harm, delusion, death

Older sister from this world manages to escape with Yui

You find yourself thrown into the world of Diabolik Lovers as nothing more than a drooling and babbling toddler, terrified yet completely reliant on whoever your mother is. The helplessness only fuels your immense fear and confusion since you're stuck in the body of a baby with a mother who you already know will be terrible to her future children. There's no excitement whatsoever, not even as you grow older and all the other boys are born. You're unsure how to act, know how all of them will be when they grow up. Yet you can't help yourself despite better judgement to not interfere since you don't even belong in here. You can't see them as nasty and cruel vampires when all six of them are nothing more but helpless children, all helpless victims of a terrible childhood. You see how childish and naive they are, how different from what you've seen them on screen and so you decide that you can at the very least help them and play your role as the older sister.

You get attached to them and vice versa, soon you have a bunch of young boys clinging to you like leeches. They adore you yet their already messed up upbringing causes them to develop certain habits that sometimes scare you, Kanato is the worst. Yet your heart grows weak when you see their tears, you always attempt to find a solution somehow as your goal becomes to raise them well. At the same time you know that you have to get back to your own world since you have your own friends and families there. Sure, you're immortal and have a life with more riches yet that doesn't fulfill you. Your long life quickly becomes dull and boring there are times where you're mentally shot as you realize that your younger brothers have grown quite obsessed with you. As much as you love them, sometimes you can't handle them and the only advantage is that they listen somewhat to you since you're the oldest. You can't let any of them know, you know something bad would happen.

When Yui comes, you decide to protect her as you are horrified how bad the boys treat her. She's just a poor, young girl, not deserving of the abuse. Because you protect her, the boys back temporarily down though you realize soon that your friendly behavior around the human has triggered the jealousy of your younger brothers as all of them try to make her life hell for taking their beloved sister away from them. Initial pity turns into friendship since Yui is the only sane person around here and so a thought comes to your mind. You've almost perfected a way to go back, have experimented years for this. You fear your brothers will kill her if you disappear since they'd label her as the responsible one for this. You let her know about your true identity, let her know that you plan to take her with you. She's shocked to find out your truth but agrees. The last night before you leave, you can't help but cry a bit and say goodbye in the form of a letter.

Shu Sakamaki

🎵​He loves you dearly, his older sister. He's always did what you told him to do, even taking the role of the oldest brother who looks out for the younger ones. Yet he hates sharing you, you've always been his getaway from his strict mother, the loss of his best friend Edgar and bad childhood. He's grown manipulative over time, uses his introverted and closed side to force you to spend more time with him. Shu is unwilling to be with someone else when that person isn't his sister, often uses manipulation and guilt-tripping in subtle ways to have you more for himself. He's good with instruments and if he knows that you enjoy his music he spends hours practicing and even coming up with his own pieces of music. He truly blossoms under you, is extremely motivated for everything as long as you're there.

🎵​Shu becomes surprisingly empathic when it comes to his sister, sometimes realizes how she seems to be deeply in thoughts. During times where he plays the violin, your eyes sometimes drift away as your mind wanders away to a place he can not see. There is indescribable longing and sadness that you carry around with you, that's how he perceives it. You are fairly good to hide it yet he sees it sometimes in moments of your weakness. He wants to know what makes you sad, wants you happy yet when he tries to ask you, you always come up with an excuse. The sadness stays with you your entire life and it drives him silently up the wall. He just wants his sister happy, she should be happy since she has him, and maybe also the other boys.

🎵​Yui is a stain, someone who tries to take you away from Shu. Your kindness shouldn't be for humans, only for him. Yet it's hard to make a move on her when you're constantly with her, even insist to let her sleep in your room. He always keeps an eye on you two, despises how you to become friends over time since you don't need any attention seekers like friends. Passive-aggressive comments are constantly thrown at Yui in order to insult her, threats to get away from you. He never expected you to abandon him and his brothers though for a girl, his stoic expression replaced by a wide-eyed one as he clutches the letter in his hands, tears blurring his vision. A bubble of hatred against Yui and painful sorrow threatens to explode in his chest yet he is forced to calm all the others down who are losing their minds. Later that day he cries silently though, the betrayal fully hitting him. Shu takes charge over the brothers after that since he's the oldest, all suddenly willing to work together, get you back and kill Yui. He even helps Reiji with his work.

Reiji Sakamaki

☕️The second-oldest brother of the boys idolizes and worships his sister to the extreme. She’s an angel, the perfect example how every lady should be with her dazzling kindness and extraordinary intelligence. Reiji is very clingy and follows you constantly around, boasting about the new things he just memorized and learned. There is jealousy whenever you spend time with others, especially with Shu, and Reiji normally resorts to dragging you over so you can help him with his studies, even if he already understood everything perfectly. He notices your keen interest in science though and is quick to use that to his advantage. He informs himself about everything that exists about science and when he realizes that you are interested with what he always tells you in hopes of gaining your attention, he always has a smug and proud look on his face.

☕️He never seems to question your interest for the longest time, only cares about the aspect that you’re interested in it and pay him more attention. It isn’t until he grows older that he starts wondering why you’re so fascinated with stuff like tunnels and even the question whether they are other worlds in different dimensions. Sure, scientists have questioned themselves this before but something about your curiosity makes him at one point uneasy. Especially when he takes a look into what you’re studying and realizes with dread that you look after portals to other worlds. He confronts you about it, slightly paranoid that you plan to leave him yet you’re quick to calm him down. With Reiji suspicious and refusing to tell you more, you become more careful and to hide your studies, you start faking interest in other things. He still observes you sharply.

☕️Honestly considers to poison Yui somehow if it wouldn’t be for your equally watching eye and the fact that you want to try her meals first. Even if you’re immortal, he would never want you to consume anything but the best. Reiji sees you above the rest, especially Yui and humans like her, is slightly exasperated with your nice treatment towards her. He despises the relationship between you two and is actually the first one to fear that you might plan to flee. Your interest in other worlds pop up in his mind and he observes you two even closer yet is left severely hurt and disappointed in himself when he realizes that you’ve still escaped with her. Reiji knows how you escaped though, informs the others before they tear the house apart that you’re most likely in a completely new world with Yui by now. He completely isolates himself in his room, spends weeks without sleep to find a way in his books to follow you. The others try to do research too but he always snaps at them to leave as he sees that most of them are too dumb to help him.

Ayato Sakamaki

🥇Ayato is incredibly cocky and possessive, stays his whole life childishly demanding of you and your time. He has troubles even trying to act like he can somehow tolerate his brothers, he dislikes them for they take time he should spend with you away from him. He gets so often in fights too and ends up crying when you scold him for it. He guilt-trips just as much though, uses his horrible mother as a way to claim your time and cling to you as much as he can. Despises how you praise Reiji for his intelligence and tries to beat him in that aspect but grows frustrated when he realizes that Reiji is still better than him. Instead he grows to be the best in everything else as a way to make up for that failure, always ends up manipulating you into praising him for his achievements so he can bask in your pride and admiration.

🥇Ayato remains quite oblivious to your sadness. You hide it well and he’s overly focused on other things most of the time. The boy wants to be praised to no end from you to boost his ego and feel like he’s the best from all his siblings. Sometimes he notices though, how you stare somewhere else and a short sadness flashes on your face. It bothers him, although not because he wants you to be happy. Ayato believes himself to be the best so you shouldn’t be gloomy when you have him as your younger brother. He might be angry with you, blame you for not knowing how to appreciate his hard work and him since otherwise you wouldn’t be sad. It’s a way to manipulate you into feeling bad and frankly spoken, he’s quick to forget if you compliment him enough after.

🥇He doesn’t even really try to conceal his hatred for the little plaything over there. He’s openly infuriated when you defend her and look out for her, yells at her that she’s just a useless, little bitch and might even snap a bit at you. It quickly earns him the rage of all his other brothers and worst, your cold shoulder for a while. He’s sadistic, wants to make Yui regret ever stepping into this house. This sadistic wish turns into pure lust to kill when he discovers that you’ve escaped with the bitch, apparently even into another world. Lashes out at Reiji for not informing them sooner about his suspicion and pretty much everyone inside the room. His own anger is a way to cover up his incredibly broken heart for now and the nagging question why you left him for a mere human. Once he’s alone in his room, hot tears start to escape his eyes, he probably even screams his overwhelming pain and anger out. He doesn’t know what to do without his sister, hates how he feels like a helpless, little boy again. He swears that he will find you though, no matter what.

Kanato Sakamaki

🧸Kanato is a nightmare for you since he literally threatens to hurt himself if you don’t pay attention to him. He’s usually only there when his mother sees use for him otherwise he’s mostly cast aside. But who cares about Cordelia anyways when he’s hyper focused on his gorgeous sister? His doll, his beauty, the only one who can keep him somewhat sane. Kanato is clingy and very spiteful, as soon as you spend time with one of the other boys he throws a tantrum even worse than Ayato and accuses you of not being a good sister. He designs his dolls after you and the clothes you wear, kills any female who has your pretty hair or beautiful eyes since you’re the only woman allowed to be as pretty as a goddess. Kanato is essentially a ticking time bomb, needs his tea parties and times with you.

🧸You’re mentally shot around Kanato the most, especially when he comes running to you with bloody hands and arms and wants you to take care of him. Kanato is the most paranoid and is always terrified when you leave him before he turns infuriated as soon as he sees that you���ve ditched him for someone else. Because you know that, you’re constantly walking on egg shells around him. You know that as soon as he’d find out, he’d do something terrible to either you, others or himself, in the worst case all three of those possibilities. As long as you play along with him and make him happy, Kanato won’t assume anything but he’s already highly paranoid as it is. The older he gets, the more of a menace he becomes yet he continues to behave like a needy child around you.

🧸Kanato wants to murder Yui pretty much the moment his sister starts to spend time with her and protect her from him and others. He’s so trigger-happy, has already murdered for his sister so he’s one of the biggest dangers for Yui and you know that. Most of the time he stares in an intense and creepy way since you keep him away and are protected by the rest of the brothers since they’re aware of his problems. He has the worst meltdown from all when you flee with Yui. At first he screams hysterically that the letter is a lie, that you’re still here yet tries to strangle Reiji when he admits to having had the suspicion for longer that you wanted to get away to a new world. He trashes around, he cries, clutches Teddy tightly to his chest and starts to scream that he’s going to brutally rip that human girl apart for taking his cherished sister away from him. Kanato avoids his brothers afterwards and they avoid him or otherwise he might lose it again and attack someone. His sanity is shot, he even makes a doll that resembles you and talks with it.

Laito Sakamaki

🎹Laito is quite cunning and sly. He doesn’t really care about his mother anymore despite being pretty much the forgotten triplet yet he knows perfectly that you feel bad for him. So why not use that situation to his advantage? Honestly, it’s weird how he goes from depressed and teary-eyed to chipper and happy as soon as you promise him to spend time with him. He plays the piano for you, he likes to play outside with you and soon learns that the fact that he’s ignored by his mother so much is a blessing. Laito gets to spend so much time with you and rubs it Ayato and Shu under their noses. He tries to talk bad about all of his brothers yet you shake your head, don’t let his words get to you. He even rejects his mother when she tries to make a move on him, ridicules her for her sudden desperation.

🎹He only needs his dear sister after all and when she threatens his sister, Laito instantly has a psychopathic turn. A Cheshire grin on his face as he tells her with the devil’s eyes that he’ll kill her if she ever tries. Since you’re the only person he really pays attention to and since Laito tries to read your emotions to manipulate you, he becomes aware of your melancholic and sad moments every once in a while. Slyly asking won’t help him to his great disappointment and he gets pouty about the secret you keep from him. It’s only when he stalks you a bit and happen to eavesdrop on a conversation between you and Reiji becomes he aware of your interest in other worlds. He draws an assumption that he doesn’t like but attempts to ask you secretly about anyways.

🎹Yui is nothing more than a blood bag to feed from, she’s no equal in his eyes. He’s a brooding type so Laito keeps his complete hatred away from Yui, at least as soon as it becomes obvious that you care for her. He’s not dumb, knows that you grow quite harsh against anyone who tries to hurt her but his green eyes never leave you two whenever you are in the same room. He’ll kill her eventually. That’s initially his plan yet you run away with Yui long before that happens, leaving him with a growing pain inside his heart. His facial expression is icy and cold as he bottles down all of his emotions for now but can’t mention to make any comments. Only when Reiji admits his suspicion he had for years now does he show a small reaction, piercing eyes staring angrily at him. He knew about your interest too, had his own suspicions but can’t admit that out loud. He’s too ashamed of himself and there’s already one person who takes the blame. He cries and laughs simultaneously as soon as he’s left alone, a grin on his face as he swears to drag his sister back. Seems like he’ll have to expose a ugly side.

Subaru Sakamaki

⬜️Subaru can at first only really watch his sister from the distance. He’s been told multiple times that he’s a cruel monster and for that reason believes that you’d be just afraid of him if you’d ever get to know him. He pushes you initially away, afraid to be hurt. Yet once you’ve seen his violent outburst and still acknowledge him for it, he grows instantly attached. He’s aware of the messed up situation you’re in, aware of how everyone manipulates you. He knows that yet is unable to act any differently since he’s possessive and greedy for genuine affection and someone who doesn’t call him a mistake and monster. He’s isolated as it is and uses that to convince you to stay longer with him even if he feels guilty soon after. He’s not better than any of his brothers, is he? He tries to be extra good to make up for it.

⬜️The boy swears to himself though that as soon as he’s old enough, he’ll free you from this hell. That he’ll be able to properly protect you and make you happy since you sometimes downright exhaust yourself to make everyone happy. Subaru tries to appreciate his strength a bit after you’ve helped him to suppress his violent side better. With this strength he can protect you after all and soon after he starts training in order to grow even stronger. His brothers are threatened with his brute strength at one point. He knows the stories you sometimes tell him about whether or not another world is there. As a child fascinated with it, he wonders throughout the years if there’s more when he notices that sad glimmer in your eyes that appears as soon as you talk about it with him. He hates your sadness.

⬜️Subaru is the most conflicted about Yui and the growing friendship between his sister and her. On the one hand it’s the first female you’ve met since eternities and Yui is tame and nice in comparison to all of the Sakamaki boys, refreshing and needed for you. You’re happy and that has Subaru hesitating for so long. Something he regrets when one day your room is empty and Yui and you are gone, only a farewell letter remaining. He starts shaking, sees red and destroys a wall or two in his rage, tears streaming down his face. He wants to deny so badly that you abandoned him for Yui as all the moments you two shared together flash before his inner eye. Wasn’t your bond with him strong enough? Was he not enough for you? Behind that violence hides a wounded dog ever after, one who is mentally torn apart. On the one hand he knows that you’re right now probably happier than you ever were when in this world but he misses you like crazy. Subaru eventually is possessed by his darker side, his rage and pain taking control over him.

[carboardserpent]

More Chick headcanons

(Because I can't help myself, I'm obsessed)

Relationship edition

(Humanised, of course)

Definitely giving closeted bi vibes. Probably with a good amount of internalised homophobia. As if he needs any more reasons to hate himself.

He walks that knife edge between hot-confident flirting and being too arrogant and often falls on the wrong side.

He's really not very good at the flirting thing - when people recognise him, they don't often want to give him the time of day, and when they don't, his false bravado is often enough of a red flag to scare people away.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; gift-giving is his love language.

This guy is sitting on at LEAST eight figures in his bank account. Whatever his Baby wants, they get.

Takes them on shopping sprees literally any excuse he gets. He just wants to see them happy!

The kind of guy to fall hopelessly in love fast and hard, and make all kinds of cheesy, cliche declarations of adoration.

Gives people who watch his show little updates. "It's our anniversary soon, been thinking about what to get." "It's date night tonight, and you know what that means ;) ...dinner. It means dinner." "My other half said the funniest thing today..." etc.

'Baby' is his favourite pet name. Will occasionally fall back on 'Sugar' or 'Gorgeous'.

The sweetest guy behind closed doors. He will bend over backwards to see his SO smile. Never in public, he has an image to uphold, but in private? You are not prepared for the tooth-rotting sweetness of this man.

...because he's absolutely terrified that his partner is going to leave him. As far as he's concerned, he's not good enough for them, and he definitely doesn't deserve to be happy.

So selfless in his relationship that he needs to be reminded to think about what HE needs occasionally.

A break up or a divorce is just another kind of loss, and that isn't "winning at all costs". It doesn't matter if he's not happy, as long as his SO is.

Yeah, he has a lot of emotional baggage and really needs someone who can help support him through some much-needed therapy.

Wants to have kids but absolutely crippled with fear at the idea that he might turn into his father.

There are lots of nasty rumours circulating on the internet about how he probably treats his partner poorly. He tries not to let them get to him, but if anything, it makes him even sweeter and all the more caring in private.

Can and will space out frequently while staring into his (massive) tropical fish tank. He often gets upset about what's running through his head in those moments and needs to be reminded that he's loved and appreciated.

Cuddle bug. Cannot sleep unless he's practically smothering his SO in a full-body hug at all times. Get this man a body pillow. No, not a weird one.

Runs so hot. Human heater. Combined with the cuddling, if his partner doesn't run cold, there's gonna be issues.

Messy guy. Dirty laundry all over the floor, chaotic work spaces, probably the kind of guy to leave a mug somewhere and forget about it for months and end up having to throw it away. But it's okay because he pays a maid to take care of all that.

Definitely no gourmet chef, but he can cook some surprisingly decent (and healthy) home style meals. Just don't look at the kitchen after he's done.

[evilauthor]

My obsessive research was helpful!

I'm going on a Disney cruise in December with my side of the family for my sister's 40th birthday. I realized very quickly that my mom can't be trusted to do the planning as she kinda...lost...a cabin we were booking because she was waiting for them to send her a bill, but had selected paperless communications and then didn't check her email...

BUT after that happened, I started doing a ton of research and looking up cutoff dates and planning for our whole group. SO MUCH RESEARCH.

Fast forward to today. My sister was talking to me because she was worried that we might be sitting together at dinner because she and her husband booked through a travel agent and mom booked herself and I've been chasing after trying to fix mistakes mom made. I told my sister how the dining rotation works, what the order is, and which dates.

Our trip is five nights, which means we eat at one of the restaurants three times. Sister wanted to go to Palo, but didn't want to miss pirate night, her birthday, or the Christmas party. And here I was...with the dates for all of them.

Me: "You're best nights are first night or Christmas day. Those are both repeat nights with no scheduled events since the holiday party is on your birthday."

Sister: "There's an open time at 6pm on the first night, but I don't want to miss the Sail Away Party or the fireworks..."

Me: "Oh, the party is at 4:30, it's only about forty minutes...and the fireworks are only on pirate night."

Sister: "Really? Wow! You know everything! I'm booking it."

Hour later, I look at my phone and see my sister's reservation shows up on my app...realize momma is gonna pissed that my sister won't be eating with us. But...technically this whole trip was supposed to just be my sister and her husband and mom invited herself. So sister can have a private meal with her husband. As a treat. I can keep mom busy that day.

[laurfilijames]

Finally replying back to your reblog😂😂I’ve literally reread it any chance I get!!! I can’t believe you had to use another device🙉 and here I was thinking there wasnt much to it🤓

Imma skip to the old hag comment: girl when I tell you it took everything in me to keep it classy and only mention them once💀 my petty side was ready to come out and be like “for the people in the back…this is their way of communicating” Everytime they had that silent conversation 😗 And you know I will always get it!!!😌💅🏾

I’m so glad you love my little intro to the podcast🤧 I haven’t decided if I’m gonna change it to fit the fall vibes bc I like the look of the champagne glasses🥹

You did a phenomenal job with keeping it from feeling spiteful!!! You can tell that he’s very confident in our relationship, in us, and himself to the point where it’s like what’s there to be jealous of. He knows that we’ll always come home to him, that our heart belongs to him and vice versa so there’s no need for the green eyed monster to make an appearance🙂‍↔️ And if someone didn’t get that *cough* *cough* you reiterate that thought which I loved a lot😍

Omggg I’ll frame the gold star and hang it on my wall🤩 I was gonna say i put your fic under a microscope but honestly it just comes naturally😂

You did a wonderful job getting the emphasis across!!

Give us all the cheesiness pleaseeeee😩 I appreciate the non-verbal communication so much!!! You can tell that there are times where they feel so much that it’s hard to describe it in words so being able to translate that into other forms of communication is important to them🥹

You including your best friends in your stories is so cuteeee🙉 it was either Bess or Jenny and Jenny sounds a lot nicer😌💗 omg I love that🤣

Again gimme all the cliche☺️ nothing is unrealistic as long as you’re with a person who is interested in keeping the romance alive😌 yesss because no one can tell you how to write your story😤

When I tell you I have not stopped thinking about the dip scene🙉🙉 I joke with my best friend about needing us to go back to Nashville so I can get my line dance on and bump into the love of my life😩 hopefully I can find a man that’s got moves like Will😍

Fucking Will outside was all I could think about 😂 plus he would just look so pretty with his chest heaving, skin flushed in a soft pink hue and a fucked out expression on his face🤭🥵

Now that I’ve found my groove I’m gonna go back to the first four chapters and re-reblog them at some point🤭 honestly you don’t have to thank me!!! You sharing your reactions to my comments is more than enough🥹💗✨ I love you too Laurie☺️🙂‍↔️🌸

You reread it any chance you get???? 😭😭😭😭 Rayyyyyy I can't even believe this!! And yeah, your prolific comments almost always require me to use a second device to easily keep track of all your notes while I'm replying!! I love it so much and can't thank you enough!!

🤣 I appreciate you being in my corner with all of that nonsense with the anon. There's times I still go over it in my head but it's done and hopefully they have a better understanding to how and why I'm writing this relationship how I am.

I'm a huge Prosecco fan so I'm happy to keep on with the glasses but also happy to change it to a warm cup of something if you'd prefer! 🥂☕️ I'm just so giddy that you treat these comments and discussions like a podcast 🥹💗

Thank you for loving the cheesiness/romantic side of things now that the angst is through! I know people love drama so I've been fretting that they won't enjoy it as much now but I can't keep doing that to them or myself 🤣 WILL NEEDS TO BE HAPPY!!!!

I am obsessed with you going to Nashville and bumping into a strong, kind cowboy while line dancing yessssssssss!!! I'm manifesting this to happen so hard!!! 🤠 (and may he look like Riley Green 🙏🥵)

Anddddd now my mind is buzzing over your description of Will post-fuck outside 🫠🫠🫠 I really need to sneak this in and will try my best to!

You're going to go back and re-reblog the first chapters?!?!? Ray!!! You do not need to do that but I love you so dearly for being this invested in my story that you want to continue to share it 🥹😭💗 I'm seriously going to run out of ways to thank you!

[sublimepenguinpeach-blog]

I'm Kathryn Orozco, the "pogue princess." I've known John B, JJ, and Pope much longer than Kie. I met John B at age five while biking home from school when a sudden car forced me to swerve and fall off.

I scratched my upper knee on the concrete, causing bleeding. I cried and used my shirt to try and stop the bleeding. Six-year-old John B noticed the commotion, came over, and asked if I was okay. He then held onto me and walked me safely back to my house.

Since then, we've become best friends, bonding over our complicated relationships with our fathers. John B's dad was frequently absent, consumed by the search for the valuable royal merchant shipwreck in the Outer Banks. As for my father, our clash of personalities and his prolonged work absences strained our relationship. He would leave for weeks or even months, only to return and criticize everything I did. Despite my accomplishments, he never saw them as good enough. This behavior extended beyond me, affecting my mom and grandma as well. 

My father is obsessed with money, despite never experiencing poverty. He criticizes any spending and resorts to dishonesty to hold onto money. I cherish my mother, who homeschooled me for several years due to my struggles with academics and social skills as a result of my autism. She made the challenging decision to temporarily leave her job to ensure my success in school and life. Now, she works as a psychologist at Children's Hospital and has faced recent challenges with her employers.

I'm not exactly a "pogue" since my parents have been well-off, though we may have been considered middle class in the past. My mom was a pogue for most of her life, while my dad, originally from Colombia, isn't a pogue or a kook. Despite my Hispanic heritage, I have a pale complexion unlike my dad's family. I relate more to John B and JJ than Pope, and I am the only sibling in my family, as is John B. JJ, John B, and I share family issues, unlike Pope who has a loving and supportive father. We understand loneliness, the need for love, and sadness. When we seek comfort or someone to talk to, we rely on each other. I wish we had better fathers—mine being verbally abusive and John B's dad being absent. Anyway, it's no surprise that I know JJ well. He's a great guy who always knows how to uplift my spirits after one of my frequent fights with my dad. I suppose we're all somewhat bonded through shared trauma.

Cheers to shitty fathers. JJ's situation with his abusive and mean drunk father is heartbreaking. I've always despised JJ's dad for the way he treats him. I once went to JJ's house to bring him some sweets, but instead, his father answered the door and verbally attacked me, even resorting to physical violence by slapping me. I had to hide the bruise with makeup, and his hurtful comment about my weight still affects my self-esteem. I've never told JJ about that incident because I know he would retaliate against his father, and I don't want him to get hurt in the process. Pope joined our group later on, and Kie became a part of the Pogues just a year ago. I have mixed feelings about her because her presence has caused tension among my friends. I see how she looks at JJ while flirting with Pope, who has been in love with Kiara from the beginning. I don't want Pope to get his heart broken, and I won't let her be the reason for our friendship to fall apart.

JJ, Pope, John B and I go to different schools sadly as of the last 8 years. I go to where the “kooks” go to school which is called Kildare Academy. I would say I have friends there which is why I can’t “choose a side” much to JJ’s dismay. I don’t like the guys here there thats for sure especially Rafe Cameron who is the biggest kook of all aka The Kook King. More like the asshole King of all assholes of figure eight. It goes without saying that I am not a fan of Rafe Cameron. Not only because as a kid, he would pull my hair and glare at me but also because he physically hurts my best friends for no reason other than their “pogues, the scum of the earth in his opinion obviously.” The only time a pogue isn’t scum of the earth to him is if they are selling drugs to him aka Barry. He thinks it’s a secret that he’s a coke head but it’s common knowledge that he’s a coke addict that lives off his father’s money.

This is a prologue to my story “Falling for the Kook”

Tell me if you want a part 2

[xplrvibes]

It is interesting how people treat Colby and how people treat Sam.

I mean Colby is generally the more liked, popular and more beloved of the duo HOWEVER he gets oversexualised and basically treated like a disgusting man whore by the fandom like he's some kind of k-pop star who's signed all the clauses not to do all that stuff when he hasn't and he's doing perfectly normal behaviour for a man of his age (and it really is none of our business what his sex life is like so it's truly disgusting how obsessed with it people are)

Meanwhile on the other side, Sam gets none of the cross examination of his sex life stuff but he gets way more hate in all other aspects across all social media (i've seen so many posts saying truly horrible things about the man, from just insulting his looks, to saying how awful a person he is, to saying he's a terrible friend, to saying Colby doesn't need him etcetc). And half the time the hate he gets doesn't even make sense? I'm like 'at least give good reasons to hate the man?' He's also less popular and generally ignored by the fandom and I've often seen him referred to as the 'spare'. So all this is very weird to me, I don't think I've seen another fandom duo where the duo gets the same bad treatment as these 2 men. (It amazes me that SnC still like their fandom honestly considering how shitty a lot of the fans are).

But one thing I note from this is how it's understandable that neither of them are particularly active anywhere anymore when they both get a lot of hate (for different reasons) and harassment from crazy fans. Honestly I don't think I would want to be either one of them, cos one is ignored and hated for no reason, the other if overly sexualised and harassed and cross examined constantly in regards to his sex life, neither of those options sound fun to me, lol.

While I agree with you that Colby is the more popular and more oversexualized of the duo, and that Sam generally tends to be overlooked or more left to the shadows, I have to respectfully disagree on the hate thing.

While Sam does occasionally get barbs thrown his way, and people say rude things sometimes, nothing has ever or could ever hold a candle to the way Colby is treated. Colby has a very polarizing and unique experience with internet fame, in that he has the highest of highs, on the most extreme side of the love spectrum...but with that comes some of the ugliest lows I've ever seen anyone get.

I'll give you a handful of examples that I have readily available of the real disparity between the way the two are treated, below the cut (these are just off the top of my head things that I have available, not even a full list of everything that goes on):

Only one of these two men have gotten multiple viable, detailed, and fandom sanctioned and even celebrated public death threats...and it wasn't Sam.

Colby was once literally sent a public death threat so vile that he straight up left social media for over a week directly because of the hit it took to his mental health. You know what people did with that info? Created "tea room" accounts again and again with the express purpose of posting it around, and continuously tagged him and all his friends in it until Sam had to intervene and ask them to stop.

The death threat was still one of the ugliest things I've seen on the fandom side of the internet, and no I'm not re-posting it. Just know that it marked a turning point in how Colby interacted with fans that hasn't been course corrected to this day.

There was another occasion where he wound up trending on twitter because "fans" were telling him to kill himself over some silly little Twitter drama or another, and the whole thing got so out of control that it wound up being reported on Def Noodles.

He had his journal stolen in SF and posted about it, and people were literally tagging him in shit telling him he deserved it and that it should've been worse.

Do you know how many times Colby had to trot out the notes app and do the apology tour on twitter because he did such aggregious things like wished women a Happy Women's Day, said he didn't like stick figure art, went for a walk on Jan 6th, the whole "queerbaiting" saga (which ONLY Colby caught flack for, btw...Sam participated in that shit too but not one person came at him tooth and nail over it. He also, btw, let Colby out to dry for that one as well)? There was a point in time where the only time he was ever on twitter was to apologize for something that only he was getting straight up hate for....cause sorry, but I don't think telling someone to kill themselves over something is "calling someone in" or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Sam wasn't posting about the Jan 6th riots either, Sam never spread a single piece of misinformation about [insert event here], but only Colby was sent hate and vitriol over that.

There was a period about 3 years ago where Colby spent about 20 minutes pretending to be dating Amber Scholl. Both she and Colby immediately started getting death threats, to the point where he had to make a video addressing and apologizing for pretending to have a girlfriend for less than a day.

A few months later, Sam and Kat spent a MONTH pretending to be engaged to prank their fanbase. The response they got? "Oh haha, you silly gooses, you got us good! What a fun prank, thanks for that!"

Here's an email Colby got when he committed the cardinal sin of growing out a mustache:

TW for the below screenshots, they are vile:

Here's a couple comments I saw recently while casually taking a look at Colby's cancer free post from people wishing he had straight up died from the cancer (I've seen countless other comments like this across instagram and tiktok; I shudder to think what's being said on twitter). I didn't even have to scroll for these. They were right on top. Im sure if you scroll, there's more:

There are fan accounts on other social media sites that will tag Colby in shit regularly, calling him stupid, calling him a whore, going after his looks. They've boiled him down to the dumb hot one: a bag of meat and sinew with a pretty exterior and nothing inside, and then they shame him for the looks when they've already got hom thinking that's all he brings to the table. He grows a mustache? He's an asshole. He gains 5 pounds because of medical issues (or for any reason, really)? He's now fat and ugly. He got acne, how fucking dare he get acne, I never liked him anyway especially now that he's ugly. He stops dyeing his hair, or dyes it a color they don't approve of? High treason.

The fandom treats him like a character in their little Sims game that they can control and puppeteer the way they want him, and they also treat him like their little punching bag at the same time. He's their little y/n fantasy, but only if he fills the pre-requisites and doesn't step even one toe out of line.

They definitely ignore and overlook Sam sometimes. They definitely say some rude shit about him, too, here and there. But overall, the fans that do acknowledge Sam treat him like he's a human being, which is already stratospheres away from how they treat Colby on either side of the spectrum.

If I were given the choice? I'd prefer not to walk in either of their shoes, lol. But, if pressed, I'd walk a mile in Sam's shoes easily. I wouldn't even look at Colby's, let alone put them on.

Now, does it all even out? Colby gets a hell of a lot more love and attention overall, yes. Is it worth the death threats and the hate and the constant meddling into your life to the point where you're having nervous breakdowns over it? I don't know that it is.

Is it better to spend your life playing second fiddle to someone like that, but to also not have to deal with the constant scrutiny and the death threats? I don't know, I guess it depends on prerogative. Either way, to your last point: this is definitely why neither one of them are a heavy presence on social media these days, and fans have nobody but themselves to blame for it.

[enneamage]

The original incel essay post got way out of hand, so this is a shortened version, which is funny because it’s still pretty long. For now I’m rounding it down to the concern I have for The Nerd Youth and the ‘no bitches’ meme circulating among them. I want to say it’s not unusual for a generation settling an internet frontier (new scene, new website, new movement) to do something oddly regressive, because they're New Humans and don't know how things are connected yet. It’s not unusual for them to pick up the nearest seemingly-safe sticks they can find and jab each other with them to get some conversation / social hierarchy going, even if those sticks are really loaded with history and negative consequences.

Internalising incelisms

‘if you haven’t had X sexual/romantic experience by Y date you’re a ruined person’ is a pillar of incel thinking, so making people for being virgins or single is keeping that attitude alive, even if the person throwing the insult isn’t technically an “incel” themselves. Incels are partly a symptom of a much bigger problem culture has with treating the number and availability of sexual partners in your life as a persons overall value, because the manosphere didn’t just make that concept up themselves.

Underneath the rise in ‘bitches’ memes going around it’s clear that this is just people taking shots at an easy target because society puts relationships high on the social success escalator; if someone is dating you, you’re apparently doing something right, and slightly less suffocated by the loneliness problem in the west. In the context of hookups, you’re appealing and socially acceptable to attractive strangers, getting physical fulfillment without putting down vulnerable attachments. Overall, you’re capable of fulfilling someone else and someone else finds you worthy of fulfilling, a successful social exchange. On the flip side, you’re apparently a loser If you don’t have that. It’s got its barbs because it’s based on a simplistic understanding of sex & relationships, even from the people using it, and it really takes root where people tend to be isolated online.

The Valley Of The Bitchless

Why are people just tossing the phrase ‘getting bitches’ out there like it’s nothing again? I know it’s ironic but is it. Is it really. Because it’s looking like people kinda mean it even if its hyperbolic.

More than half the value of this meme comes from the fact that ‘getting bitches’ is meant to be easy for the Cool People but hard for either you or the person you’re insulting. Being alone was turned into a stick to poke people with because it was easy to weaponize people's insecurity about being awkward and unlovable, especially online. People then internalize this insecurity and then throw it back at other people, causing a loop. People attack each other for not conforming to a vision of what a "desirable person" is, and in some circles that vision comes dangerously close to the incel invention of 'Chad and Stacey'.

'Chad and Stacey' are the perfectly beautiful, socially gifted, perfectly 'normal' mythological creatures of incel thought. The idea of "Chad" came from the mind of people who defined themselves by their social exclusion. They obsessively poured over what they felt they didn't have and built an image of 'the perfect person' based on media and everything they felt they lacked. In the online circles I've been watching, there's a building pyramid of value based on how far removed people are from the internet and its cultures (intense niche interests, unusual hobbies, social anxiety, looks), and it's a validation of the existence of Chads & Staceys by everything but name and a few cosmetic changes. It's really not that different when a Twitter user with a picrew icon does it.

“Uncool” people fuck plenty, you’re fine

Here's the secret-- our sex neurotic culture actually isn’t talking about sex for sex's sake, and we haven't been for a long time. We're talking about soothing an anxiety, proving that you're performing your life correctly by using sex as a scorecard. Notice that sex isn't remotely cool when the swingers or the nerds or the band kids pull it off? Some people are calling the shots based on personality and looks, but there's another part where it's not cool because it wasn't achieved by playing the game that sex is meant to keep score of. You weren't tough, you weren't cool, you didn't handle yourself in the right way, you didn't go to the right places or do the right things. It's meant to be a reward for doing the right things, a validation of worth, a story you can brag about, and it has vanishingly little to do with the other person except maybe how good they were to look at. This is a pretty deeply rooted mainstream problem, and if you look for it, you’ll find it in a lot of different places.

I’m going to make a bold statement: I know people who have had sex on a scale that qualifies as modern history. They also fail the ‘cultural coolness’ test with flying colors. Turns out that someone inviting, fun and unpretentious is more personable than the intimidating 2 cool 4 anything archetype, even though certain internet standards are more likely to punish you for being the former than the latter.

fin

I feel like these things are taking root in very-online young people who are getting into their heads about how far removed from society they are because of who/how they are. This is the incel pipeline, it’s a part of what starts to prey on people’s mental health and drives them deeper into isolation, it’s just that these people aren’t in the incel demographic.

This is happening every day in certain online circles, and it's really unsettling to watch how young it goes, even though I do know that some version of it has been around for ages. Peer to peer bullying over attractiveness/lovability isn't new, but seeing a surge of people going after each other for being Bitchess and single in a world that openly considers incels to be a terrorist threat is bizarre. Really gotta emphasize we're drinking the sewer water here.

[thankfulguy]

What I'm Doing Here

I've been meaning to start a blog for a while. I was convinced that it would be best for me to do the work myself and start a website (even bought the domain for thankfulguy.org or whatever TLDs seemed good at the time). But who am I kidding? When am I going to have time for that!? (actually, very soon.)

This microblog is just a place where I can drop ideas I have throughout the week.

Important things about me

Christian (Reformed)

Favorite pastor: my church's pastor (obviously)

second favorite pastor: John MacArthur

Occupation: Lisp Programmer

Current main side project: learning Japanese

Source of handle: just one random morning when I was working from home and I was feeling particularly joyful for no apparent reason and I thought "being a thankful guy is generally what I want to be all the time". So naturally, I bought some domains like that. Short. Concise. Descriptive.

(

)

(Obligatory Mr. Timn. Maybe I'm just trying too hard.)

As you can probably tell from my writing style, my social interactions are largely characterized by awkwardness and staircase wit.

-.-.-.

I don't really care if anyone reads this blog, and I'm not really on Tumblr so much for the social aspect. There will be plenty of posts that are just me rambling on and on about nothing in particular. But whatever.

-.-.-.

It would not be an exaggeration that I am unhealthily obsessed with using time effectively. I am often bewildered by the sheer number of options we have these days with respect to how we spend our time. If I lived for 1000 years in the world as it is, I would still not run out of things to do. I think Moses understood this and wrote about it in Psalm 90.

A cursory reading of the above paragraph would likely lead one to believe that I'm extremely productive and perhaps even a workaholic. But this is not the case: the unhealthy part is the depression and shame I feel when I (frequently) do not use my time efficiently. But I'm getting better, little by little, by the grace of God and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

-.-.-.

I'm not a very good Christian. That much is clear. (Although in my circles, there is heavy criticism of the very concept of a "good Christian".) What even would a good Christian look like? Jesus was probably the only good Christian.

In my sundry musings on the matters of theology, I sit a bit on the fence between the following two sentiments:

"We cannot comprehend God fully, so we just need to believe His word."

"God encoded His character into the Cosmos in some way. We can learn about God by studying nature"

These are not totally in conflict, and ought to be harmonized. But doing so is challenging for me. I sense in my spirit the desire to replace God with either the Bible or Nature. In fact, I used to believe that the Bible was God, because Jesus is the Word.

-.-.-.

There have been several times in my life that I thought I was going insane because the realness of structures observable in various salient forms (society, the church, general practices, computer programs) seemed to be nothing more than a mental game to those around me. Treating non-physical things like ideas and the future as equally important to that which is found in physical reality seems sensible to me. But this sort of abstract thinking seems to either inspire unease with many whom I talk to, or stir them up to a lively debate.

The simple reality is that the amount I know about the world is proportional to my mind's size relative to God. (In other words: I don't know squat. What I think I know seems generally to be useful in keeping my day to day life in some semblance of order, but the fickleness of Time and Chance often trips me up to being ridiculously risk averse.)

At the bottom of it, the only way out seems to be faith. The realization that I don't know squat about the future, about what I see with my eyes, with what I think of my company's codebase – it forces me either to either faithlessly throw up my hands in despair and commit recklessly to one of the perceived options, or it drives me to pray.

The outcome is usually much better when I pray.

-.-.-.

Recently, it has come to my realization that I'm really addicted to pride. It feels so good to feel good about myself. If only it were easier to understand what the difference is between pride and humility in the general case. But as I've considered various situations in my life and observing those around me, there are so many cases where a person's arrogance as perceived by others was actually radical faith and humility. (the Bible even offers the story of David and Goliath as an example of this.)

Reading Andrew Murray's book, Humility, was a real eye-opener.

-.-.-.

This post is getting too long. And as I said before, I'm prone to rambling. If you got this far, thanks for reading. Please leave a comment if you are curious about anything or want a more thorough treatment of anything I wrote. (Not that going much deeper will be all that productive.)

[deasbanker]

Weekend treat: take my parents to the Ghibli Museum in Mitaka for the first time, and we spend a refreshing time in a zoo as well as on a boat ride in Inokashira Park in the early summer sun!

29/4/2024（Day1 during the Golden Week）

When I was in high school, my parents were no interested in Ghibli nor eager to watch any of the films. So, I visited the Ghibli Museum in Mitaka alone and explored this place by myself. However, recently dad, 65, got open to anime and obsessed with Gigi from Kiki's Delivery Service without I noticed. Also, he's been immensely keen to take pictures with his fancy camera, which could be more important than his family, expecting to capture something touching within the premises in photograph（Yet, he knew the fact that taking pictures inside the building is prohibited in entering）.

Anyway, I felt somewhat glad then; this is because I was being with my parents, who wouldn't have any interest in it but now are sort of fans of it, in the place where I had been alone half a decade ago. In comparison with once, it was much crowded with people, and such minor details as dining area or some object by the entrance changed. Since I've obtained a bachelor's degree in Film Studies in college, I got to understand each exhibit more deeply than before, which I was satisfied with.

After we walked around and looked all over, we had a hotdog and fish-and-chips for lunch at the deck. Mom regretted not having stood in line at another restaurant which had a lot more options on the menu, though. While going down the stairs and heading toward Inokashira Park, which is located right next to the Ghibli Museum, I heard a man playing a song from the Ghibli movies on the violin. That was absolutely a synergistic effect.

When we walked across the park to a zoo, countless tiny leaves were fluttering and clung to our hairs and clothes; this made me feel that I couldn't get along with abundant nature at heart. Then, my parents and I popped in the zoo for the first time, and I was being excited to see goats in person（because I love ones）.

It was yet to become 1pm even after admiring each animal. We were off to Inokashira Pond for a boat ride. Despite the Golden Week now, it didn't take more time than I thought to wait in line. I chose a typical boat for 3 people and asked mom to row. Thanks to water and a pleasant breeze, that was so refreshing, and I managed to chill out from the bottom of my heart literally going with the flow on the water. I wished I had been able to stay there for good.

Subsequently, we headed over to Kichijoji station enjoying checking out some thrift clothing stores on the street. I, actually, didn't know how thriving the neighborhood of the park was and there were many clothing shops located side by side. Once you pass through the street, you'll face the shopping complex named Marui（OIOI）. I found that this complex didn't have attractive retails but food options for snacking; therefore, dad had matcha dessert, and mom ordered hojicha, which is also a kind of Japanese green tea, dessert. I was content to take plenty of pictures of them together for the day, because rarely have they had pictures taken together.

[gleefullypolin]

It really is such a long time to decide that this is what you'd like to see but there's the thing of it when you lose all flexibility in being open to what you're actually going to see, it's going to make you miserable and feel like it's bad writing when it's just writing that isn't yours.

I didn't know they ended up together either but thought they were adorable too. I actually don't remember how I found out they end up together, tbh. Maybe a random comment about them having their season? It got me to look into the books and then start reading them. And I'm with you, thank god it's a canon ship, I would have been so irritated otherwise, hah.

He's come back more flirty each time so I have no doubts he was learning how to do all of that while gone. There's no way he got burned by Marina then set off to travel without his brother's words in his head about it. Even if he was trying to prove something to himself, he would have discovered that sex and love are easily separated when one has the motivation to do so. It looks like they're finally trying to add some of Colin's book character to the show version and I think some people maybe don't get that he is not looking for love when he falls in love with Penelope, it quite literally just comes up behind him and smacks him upside the head without his permission so the idea of him saving himself in that way isn't something I've seen him ever profess in the show anyhow.

I have no idea how I got myself on the Debling hate train, it just happened.😭 Maybe it's because I don't get the vibes passing the test when it comes to Penelope? Not because I think he's evil but I just think she's not into it? He does give her something I think she needs outside of herself and Colin and that's okay but also get away from girl I am going to need you to back up, sir.

Our little compulsive liar! I agree though, she really needs to grow up and let both sides of her come together. Even Pen being in love with Colin is sort of her just loving in his direction? She's not being true to herself a lot of the time with him because she doesn't want to rock the boat but the boat (carriage) needs rocked if it's going to go anywhere. Truly the only thing I think I want to see is him learning about LW before anything major between them happens. I get why they might not for drama but that feels too close to the Marina situation. Maybe they could make it work but I think it needs to come out first for sure.

The man is so obsessed with her, I love it. He goes from 0 to 100 so quick and I do love that in a man, haha.

Oh my god the shippers of Neal and Emma's were insanely intense. They would, from what I remember reading when it was going on, just randomly make stuff up about Hook and then treat it like it was fact from then on even when offered proof it was nonsense. As insufferable as he was for sure. Good on you for killing him off in your fics.

Phillip in the books is truly my favorite after Colin. I hope Eloise's season gives him some of his book personality, he's so complex but also so into Eloise, it's great.

Same! I think how he learns it is the thing I'm most interested in so far. I think it's entirely possible Eloise could slip, not on purpose because I don't think she wants to hurt Penelope but with Colin being so intent on finding LW, it's possible she says something accidentally. Or if he sees her and follows. I kind of want her to yell it at him while they're fighting, ha. I want that anger to turn to passion and go from there.

For real, theorizing should be fun, not a competition. It's not that serious.😄

This is why we need to live in fan fiction and just let our minds drift in and out of different ideas, so we don’t get stuck in one place for too long. It’s the only way to survive the long expanse between seasons. And people forget that the show is not written by them. So, we have to be ok with what we get and if we aren’t pick up the pen to write our own ending.

I don’t know if it makes me a simpleton that I usually just end up following the story and picking canon ships…maybe I just don’t stray too far from a tale. I get too swept up in things normally to have time to do so. I don’t blame those that don’t, they just have better imaginations than me.

Colin is a flirt; he has flirted with Pen more than once. I mean you can’t tell me “What a barb” was not a flirt. And don’t get me started on the way he was staring at her when she was talking about her purpose, you would have thought he was staring at his next biscuit. His brain may not realize it but his body has been teasing her for years. I think you are correct; he is not looking for love, it hits him upside the head suddenly and without any permission that he gave it. He assumes he is only offering assistance and the next he's trying to consume everything about her, including her time, attention, focus.

I did read that the picnic scene is Colin coming to her rescue and my God I almost died on the spot. I assumed that is what it was but holy moly, hero Colin saving Pen while Lord Tater Tot gets to hold her. He will be beside himself. All I saw was red…Get your hands off our girl! I’m stepping into the Debling hate ring with you!!

I love it when women accept who they are, the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s not easy to accept all of you. And honestly Pen has some real soul searching to do because she doesn’t write nice things about herself either, so she’s got some stuff to work out there! I would LOVE for her to show the Pen that she’s been showing in all these promos…because that Pen could go a few rounds with Colin! Tell him how it is and how she feels, and I am here for that! That Pen can match Colin in that carriage! 0 to 100 for sure!

The stuff they made up about the toxicity of Hook. When in fact there was never a better story of redemption written for one person than Killian Jones. Like they killed that thing. It was beautiful. I could kiss that man. The only complaint I had was they should have ended it a season earlier. As much as I loved Officer Jones…It was not the same show or my Hook! But ship wars are notorious for making up absolute toxic shit from nothing.

Nothing about this show should be serious. IT’S A ROMANCE NOVEL TURNED INTO A TELEVISION SHOW ON NETFLIX! Our live wont end without it! But I’ll be really unhappy if it’s not May 16th soon!