#I know authors get really little say on release dates but you should try

[hazellevessque]

Chloe Gong all I’m saying is that you should at least ask your publishers for the FAFG book 3 release date to be September 16th. Because that’s my birthday. And it would be a wonderful gift

[jobean12-blog]

Stay

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word Count: 1,176

Summary: You and Bucky have been doing the flirty friends dance for a while now, the tension building but when nothing seems to progress any further you accept a date from another guy...

Author's Note: So I was just thinking about the hotness of dry humping and when you just have to find release in the moment and all that and I love the whole friends to lovers trope. There isn't a ton of back story here but it's the usual. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰

Warnings: fluffy, softness, tension, dry humping, confessions lol

“Are you sure I didn’t wake you Bucky?”

He’s standing in the doorway of his apartment in nothing but sweatpants that hang low on his hips. His hair is mussed and falling over his forehead, and you can smell the soap on his skin.

You try to keep your eyes trained on his face.

“I’m sure,” he says as he takes your hand and leads you into his apartment. “I’ve been up for a while.”

He rubs the back of his neck and glances at you as you take off your jacket.

“So, are you going to tell me more about this date…that was over at what eight o’clock?” he asks teasingly.

“Maybe it was closer to nine,” you laugh.

“Doll,” he chides, still staring.

You groan and hang your jacket over the chair. “I just wasn’t…he wasn’t…”

Your words die off when you see the expression on his face. His eyes are wide, and his lips are slightly parted as his gaze moves slowly down your body.

“What?” you ask.

“What are you…did you walk all the way over here in that?”

You drop your head to look down at your clothing. “Oh.”

“I probably should have thought about that but I…I wanted to see you and…”

“It’s fine,” Bucky mumbles before he swallows hard and tries to focus on filling a glass of water.

“So…the date?” he asks, keeping his eyes on the sink.

“I guess I didn’t really want to be there. I had other things on my mind.”

“Like?” he counters.

“Likeeeeee…um.”

“Me?”

His one-word response comes out quietly and as more of a question and when his eyes meet yours they’re soft and shy and a little hopeful.

“Yeah,” you answer, looking down as you twist your hands in front of you.

“Well, in case you didn’t get the memo before, I wasn’t exactly having an easy time sleeping over here…or doing anything else for that matter.”

You look up again and meet his stare as he continues.

“I can’t concentrate on shit. Sam keeps giving me hell because I’m not focused.”

You laugh softly as you move closer. “I know exactly what you mean. I’m so wound up I can hardly sit still.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, running his hand over his hair with an exhale. “I hate that you went on a date with another guy tonight.”

“I hate it too. I don’t even know why I did,” you say quietly, inching closer. “All I kept thinking, is that I wanted it to be you.”

He closes the distance, his eyes searching every inch of your face. “I should have stopped you and told you…”

You wait for him to finish, knowing this is all new again for him.

“I don’t think... I’ve never been this distracted by anyone before,” he whispers.

You’re so close you can see the small patches of gray hairs that line his shadowed jaw and without thinking you lean in and brush your lips to his.

He sucks in a breath, and you feel him press his body against yours.

“I have no idea what we’re doing,” he admits. “But I do know that I don’t want anyone else to take you out…to kiss you…to have you.”

“Bucky…”

His name is a whispered plea, and he tilts his head and closes his eyes, moving just enough to kiss you softly.

“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs.

There is no way you could.

Instead, you reach up, slide your fingers along the back of his neck and press your lips more firmly to his.

And then he pushes forward, closer, lining up your bodies so that you can feel the hard shape of him against your stomach.

Your hand slides along his skin and you feel the solid strength of muscle in his back as he walks you backward until you fall gently onto the couch.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he whispers against your lips.

He pulls back just enough to meet your eyes and sweeps his thumb across your bottom lip.

“Me either,” you tell him, shifting until his length is pressed right between your legs.

He swears and dips back down to kiss you. Your hips roll and his face falls to your neck with a groan.

“Fuck that feels good,” he murmurs, moving with you.

The material of his sweatpants is thin and your sleep shorts even thinner and you can feel every inch of him.

Your hips press up from the couch and you give his hair a tug.

“That’s it doll,” he says. “Don’t stop.”

His mouth follows his hands everywhere and you grow more and more desperate, searching for friction as you rub against him repeatedly.

“Bucky,” you gasp.

He rocks his hips forward and against you, the perfect drag of heat and pressure just where you need it.

Your fingers twist into his hair and you feel yourself start to fall, closing your eyes as your release rushes through your body. You cry out his name and feel his hips move faster, his grip tight on your skin as he grunts into your neck when he comes.

He collapses against you, his breath warm on your skin before pushing up onto his elbows and looking down at you with a sweet, drowsy, and almost timid expression.

“Hey doll,” he says, his lips tilting into a lopsided smirk.

“Hiya Buck,” you whisper, running a hand over his hair.

“Doing that made me feel young again,” he chuckles. “Like a teenager.”

Your smile is bright as you trace the crinkle lines around his eyes. “I didn’t think that was possible.”

He feigns an appalled look and then brushes his nose to yours with a smirk.

“You just made me come in my pants. I have no control when it comes to you.”

“Is that a bad thing?” you ask with a soft smile.

“No,” he murmurs. “Definitely not.”

His large hand cradles your cheek, and he kisses your forehead, then your temple, his lips moving slowly along your skin until they meet the spot just below your ear.

“I…um…I don’t mean to run off,” he starts. “But I just want to clean up and change.”

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, and you start to giggle, patting his back.

He kisses you softly once, then twice before he pushes himself up but then he pauses, hovering above you, and as if he can’t bear to leave you his body covers yours again and he kisses you with more urgency.

When he pulls away his breathing is heavy, and his eyes are hooded.

“I want to stay with you tonight Bucky,” you whisper.

He watches you for a moment, never breaking eye contact, waiting for you to change your mind.

You stare right back and wait for his answer.

“If you stay…” he starts.

You’re already nodding. “I know.”

“I’m not going to be able to have you in my bed and not…I might not be able to go slow.”

You pull him down for another kiss. “I know.”

[wonustars]

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖶𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖧𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖧𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 (Teaser)

𖥔 pairing: kim mingyu x reader 𖥔 wordcount: ~15k+ (this teaser: 599) 𖥔 genre: fake marriage au!, fluff, angst, smut (18+ mdni)

𖥔 reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ♡! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you!

𖥔 summary: you and mingyu (a former mafia member and also your ex-fiancè's former best friend) are forced into witness protection. All you’ve been told is that you’re meant to act like a happily married couple. Pushed into a cookie cutter house, and a suburban neighbourhood far from the city, where people bring you baked goods on your first day and partake in small talk, it’s all foreign and new. There’s so many things you don’t know about him, but for a man who’s only known violence and all things illegal, he’s somehow the perfect house husband.

𖥔 tags: fake relationship/marriage!au, non-idol!au, mafia!au, afab!reader, norbert is readers cat (more tags when the fic is posted) 𖥔 release date: may 14 or 15, 2024 𖥔 author's note: if i end up posting after the predicted dates plz do not crucify me 🙏 ik a lot of people have been waiting for this one so i'd thought i post a teaser since i have 2-3 chapters left till its finally finished. thank you to all of those who sent in their ideas and to those who've shown so much interest in this story :") i really hope it lives up to your expectations!! see u soonest - anna ♡ !!!!

𖥔 keep reading

The first few days at the new house were uneventful and awkward to say the least.

Mingyu spent the majority of his time doing random housework, he thought that if he had to live here for a year, then he should at least try and make it as “homely" as possible. 

Many of the women in the neighbourhood had deemed Mingyu as their new eye-candy. Despite the fact that he wore his pink shibu inu apron while tending to the garden at the front of the house. They would especially make sure to take multiple laps around the block during their group walks, drooling over his toned muscles as he began to plant an array of flowers on the lawn. 

Mingyu isn’t very observant when it comes to people finding him attractive, believe it or not. He automatically assumes that the wives of Bridgewater just wanted to get to know the new couple that just moved in. 

“What a beautiful garden you have!” one of the wives called out from the sidewalk, her eyes glinting with appeal. 

“Thank you, It’s not done just yet, but I think we’re finally getting somewhere,” Mingyu smiles bashfully. 

“Of course dear. You know if you’re ever free you should come and take a look at my garden,” another lady giggles, her innuendo flying right over Mingyu’s head.

The group of fourty plus year old women all giggle like school girls as they watch his face turn red with flattery. Mingyu scratches the back of his head awkwardly as they bid him good-bye, curious as to what they group of women thought was so funny about him taking a look at their gardens. It’s all just a bunch of flowers isn’t it? 

The sound of your car’s engine brings Mingyu out of his thoughts, his gardening tools forgotten by the piles of dirt he left. You lug Nortbert’s carrier as you walk into the house, acknowledging his presence with a small nod. His pink aprons raises a few questions in your head, but you decide not to comment on it. 

“Oh hey you’re back, is he ok?” Mingyu asks, motioning to the carrier you hold in your hand. 

Halting your steps, your eyes widen as you realize that he’s talking to you, there wasn’t much conversation between the two of you since you’ve moved in. so you found it a little surprising that he’s asking about Norbert, the cat who tends to show lots of aggression towards him. 

“Morning. He’s ok, I just took him for his check up at the vet,” you shrug before entering the house. 

You leave the conversation there. There wasn’t much else to say anyways, and you had a lot of work to get to before the end of the day. If Mingyu feels a little bit ignored by your actions, he doesn’t make it noticeable, going back to working on his garden. 

From across the yard, neither you of Mingyu notice Seungkwan’s looming figure as he and Vernon enjoy the Friday morning sun. He watches the two of you from his porch with a quirked eyebrow. They’re awfully awkward for newly weds, he thinks to himself. 

“Nonie, don’t you think they’re a little weird?” Seungkwan nudges his boyfriend, who’s mumbling to himself while Vernon reads his book. 

Vernon quirks up, moving his headphones a little to hear what his boyfriend has to say, “huh? Sorry I was reading, what’d you say?” 

“Nothing, go back to your book love,” Seungkwan mumbles, his eyes still darting back and forth from your descending figure and Mingyu, his suspicions spiking once more.

[dirtytomatoedwrites]

HIS GIRL - PART 1

Summary: You were always Topper’s girl—until Rafe decided you were no longer his.

Paring: Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Strictly 18+ No Minors to Interact

Warnings: Dark!Rafe, Rafe/Reader, Topper/Reader, Dub-Con/Non-Con, Coercive Behaviour, Fingering, Oral (w receiving) Drinking, Graphic Scenes / Smut.  

Author's Note: Hi my loves. I'm alive!! Trying to survive. The year has been a tough one but wanted to tell you all I love you. Wasn't feeling motivated and then suddenly inspiration struck and I've been writing this dark/rafe fic on and off for months but then when it came time to post it was too long to do as a one shot so I'll release it slowly over the next couple of days as short parts. Part 2 will hopefully be up tomorrow. Love you guys and I hope everyone is well ❤️

Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Please don’t steal or copy bits of my writing or any writing from other writers cause karma will get ya.

“You wouldn't believe how happy she makes me,” Topper says, leaning back against the porch railing overlooking Tannyhill. His voice is thick with that syrupy sweetness that makes Rafe want to shove him clean off it.

Rafe leans against the opposite post, staring into the darkness. The summer air is suffocating, clinging to him, weighing him down, but not half as much as Topper’s words. He can’t stand the way Topper talks about you. His girl. Always his girl. Like he owns you, like he can hold your happiness in the palm of his hand and keep it there.

“She’s different, you know?” Topper keeps going, like he’s trying to sell you to him, as if Rafe hasn’t already memorized every detail, every curve of your lips, the way your eyes light up when you laugh or the soft timbre of your voice.

“She’s perfect, always so positive.. Like she literally sees the brighter side of life and the good in everyone. Sometimes... sometimes I feel like I don't deserve her, ya know? Like she can do so much better and yet somehow- she's picked me... I dunno it makes me want to do better. She makes me wanna be a better guy for her...”

Rafe's mouth curls into something that could be a smile but feels more like a scowl. He scratches his forehead.

“A better guy, huh? Jesus—Top, do you even hear yourself? You haven't even fucked her yet, and you're already actin' like a sap.”

It’s easier to mock, easier to keep up the front than to let anyone see how it really feels. How every time you laugh at one of Topper’s stupid jokes, it feels like a punch to Rafe's gut, a reminder that you’re still not his.

Topper doesn’t notice. He never does. Just keeps grinning like an idiot, like he’s won the fucking lottery.

“Can you just shut-up and be happy for me, man? Just this once? Look, it doesn't matter anyway. Cause it's time. Me and her are going to take our relationship to the next level.”

The words hit Rafe harder than they should, his fingers flexing, gripping the edge of the porch railing until his knuckles turn white. He doesn’t say anything at first, just feels his chest tighten, feels the familiar burn of jealousy flare up like a live wire. Because all he can think about is you, Topper’s hands on you, Topper fucking you, and it makes him want to break something, anything.

He forces himself to speak, keeping his voice steady, casual, like he’s just shooting the shit.

“The next level, huh? With little Miss Sunshine?” His smile is a thin, cruel line. “Thought you said you two were taking it slow, isn't she the type to wait for marriage or some shit."

Topper laughs, an easy sound that grates against Rafe’s nerves. “She’s not a virgin Rafe, she’s been with other guys before.  We’re just you know, trying to get to know each other first.  That's what I love about her. She wasn't going to just sleep with me after a couple of dates.  I had to prove myself to her and now it feels… it feels right. It’s the next logical step and I know she feels the same….” He says it like it’s so obvious, like he’s stating a fact, and Rafe’s skin prickles with a heat that has nothing to do with the summer night.

And there it is. The image that really makes Rafe's blood run cold: you, too sweet and naive, believing in something as stupid as love, and Topper, ready to ruin it with his clumsy hands and superficial feelings. This is the same guy who was pining after Rafe’s sister claiming to be in love with her only to have suddenly found you “the one” and had fallen head over heels in the span of a a few weeks.

No. That can't happen. Not like that. Not with you. Not when Rafe is the one who really cares about you. Had feelings for you longer than he’d dared to admit. Way longer before Topper swooped in and put a claim to you.

Rafe swallows hard as a new plan slowly takes shape in the dark recesses of his mind. If Topper wants to take things to the next level, fine. But it won't be with you. Not if Rafe has anything to say about it. He’ll get to you first. He’ll be the one you remember, the one who shows you something real, something raw. Because you deserve better than Topper. Or maybe, you deserve someone who isn't afraid to give you everything—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Someone like him.

Rafe smirks, letting his eyes slide over to Topper, keeping his tone light, almost teasing. “Yeah, well, good luck with that. You're gonna need it...”

Because he’s already decided. This isn’t over. Far from it. He’s going to make sure you know exactly what you’re missing before you ever let Topper Thornton fuck you. He’ll find a way. He always does.

The music pulses through the house like a living thing, the bass vibrating in Rafe’s bones as he moves through the crowd. Bodies sway, drunk on cheap beer and the promise of a good time. Laughter spills into the air, mingling with the scent of sweat and weed, but Rafe has only one thing on his mind tonight: you.

He spots you almost immediately. You’re standing in the kitchen, a red Solo cup in your hand, laughing at something Topper is saying. Topper’s arm is draped around your waist, and Rafe feels a familiar flicker of irritation—a heat that curls in his chest like a slow-burning fire.

He watches the way you tilt your head back, your eyes bright with amusement, looking at the blond idiot like he'd hung the moon and it takes everything in Rafe not to walk over and tear Topper’s hands off you.

Instead, he waits, watching, calculating.

Topper leans in close, murmuring something in your ear, and you giggle, playfully swatting at his arms, your fingers drawing circles on Toppers' wrist. Rafe’s jaw tightens. He needs an opening, a chance to get you alone, and then he sees it—a flash of movement as Topper's phone buzzes in his pocket. Topper pulls it out, glances at the screen, and Rafe catches the brief look of annoyance that flits across his face. Perfect.

Topper leans down to you, his voice barely audible over the music. “Hey, babe, I’ve got to take this. It’s my dad. I’ll be back in a few, okay?” He kisses you on the forehead, and you nod, giving him that same sweet, innocent smile that makes Rafe’s stomach twist in knots.

As Topper slips away into the crowd, Rafe moves. He slides up next to you, a casual, easy grin on his lips, as if he just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

“Hey,” he says, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the music. “Topper leave you all alone?”

You look up, surprised but not unhappy to see him. That’s good—he can work with that. He's worked with less.

“Yeah, he had to take a phone call,” you said with a small smile. That smile. It's cute. You're cute. So fucking cute that Rafe’s mind spirals into the gutter. He wonders what you’d look like if he wiped that smile right off your face, watch your face contort with ecstasy—what sounds you’d make if he were to shove his cock down your throat. He 's sure you'd look just as cute all teary eyed and drooling.

Rafe leans against the counter, close enough that his arm brushes yours, but he doesn’t miss the way you pull back slightly. It’s subtle, not rude, but clearly setting boundaries. That’s fine. He'll enjoy tearing those boundaries down.

“He always gets those calls at the worst times, doesn’t he?” he says, keeping his tone light, but he knows exactly what he’s doing. Planting the seed. Making you think.

“I guess.” You laugh, a little uncertain, and Rafe knows he’s got you hooked, just a little. “But to be honest, I don’t mind. His dad’s helping him prep for an interview he has next week..”

“Oh—is that who he said was on the phone? His dad?” He lets the words hang in the air, just enough to make you wonder, to make you question.

You frown, just a flicker, but he sees it. “Well, yeah... who else would it be?”

Rafe shrugs, as if he hadn’t meant to say anything at all. “Oh, nothing. It’s just... Topper talks a lot. To a lot of people. Friends... Other girls... It's probably harmless, but, you know... people talk...” He flashes you a quick smile, a little sheepish, like he’s just looking out for you. "People talk..."

Your brow furrows, confusion and a hint of worry crossing your face. “What other girls?”

He waves a hand dismissively, playing it off. “It’s probably nothing. I shouldn’t have said anything. Just... you know how it is around here. People love to gossip; it’s mostly hearsay anyway.” But he knows he’s hit a nerve. He sees the doubt flickering in your eyes, the way you bite your lower lip as if you're turning over his words in your mind.

Before you can ask anything else, he changes the subject, shifting the focus.

“Hey, forget about it. Let me get you a drink. You look like you could use something stronger.” He reaches for a bottle on the counter, pouring two shots of something clear and potent, handing one to you with a grin. “Topper will just have to catch up when he gets back.”

You hesitate, just for a moment, but then you take the glass, smiling back at him. “Okay, okay” you say, clinking your glass against his.

The first shot goes down easy, the warmth spreading through your chest, and Rafe watches you closely, a satisfied smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“Another?” he asks, already reaching for the bottle, not giving you time to think or say no. You nod, a little more eagerly this time, and he pours again, his movements smooth, practiced.

One drink becomes two, then three. Rafe keeps them coming, always ready with another pour, keeping your glass filled, keeping the conversation light and funny, distracting you from the fact that he'd only had one to your three. Distracting you from the way your head begins to feel pleasantly fuzzy. He’s careful, calculating, making sure you don’t notice how he’s watching you, gauging just how tipsy you’re getting.

By the time the fourth shot is gone, you’re giggling, swaying just slightly where you stand. A fucking lightweight if he’d ever seen one. Your cheeks are flushed, your eyes a little glassy, and Rafe knows he’s got you right where he wants you. He moves closer, his shoulder pressing lightly against yours, his voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone.

“Hey, let’s get out of here for a bit. It’s too crowded, and you look like you could use some fresh air. What do you think?” He says it so smoothly, so surely, that you don’t realize the kitchen is already empty.

You blink, a little slow, unsure, but then you nod, laughing softly. “Yeah… maybe… for a few minutes...” Your words slur just a bit, but you don’t notice, don’t seem to care. You’re too wrapped up in the haze and the banter you're sharing.

He reaches out, fingers brushing lightly against your wrist, a touch that lingers, and this time, you don’t pull away. “Come on,” he urges, his voice low and coaxing. “Just for a bit. I promise it’ll be worth it.”

You nod again, and he leads you outside, into the cool night air, away from the party. He knows he's in dangerous territory, anyone can see you leaving with him but he doesn’t care. He’s too far gone. Drunk on the idea of having you all to himself, away from the lights, away from Topper, where it’s just you and him and the night.

And as he guides you down the porch steps, he knows he’s one step closer to what he wants. One step closer to having you, in whatever way he can. One step closer to making sure you’d never look at Topper the same way again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

PART 2 / STORY MASTERLIST

Thanks for reading x If you enjoyed it please like / reblog / comment as I would love to know what you think. Part 2 will be up tomorrow but in the meantime lots of love ❤️

[sc0tters]

Forgotten Feelings | Will Smith

summary: confessions are made when you get trapped in an elevator with your ex

trope: right person wrong time

warnings: swearing

word count: 2.65k

author note: I have been dying to get this one out! We are back on the celly writing train and I have to say I really liked to one. To the four people who asked for this to be released tonight here we are and I home we all see it as a little think for the boys making it into the final tmrw or in my case today, it’s 4am! this apart of the 500 celly, if you want to see more from this you can do so here!

Being Cutter’s sister came with a whole load of benefits.

You had a great older brother, a sports-active family. But most of all you met the guy that held all of your firsts that mattered to you, he was the first guy you slept with, the first you said I love you to. In truth though you weren’t meant to fall for Will, it happened years ago but when you started dating at the end of your junior year after he kissed you at your families lake house.

What felt like cloud nine where you’d constantly see him with you driving to his during most breaks. His family adored you much like yours did him. But that was what made him breaking up with you hurt so much more.

When Will called you it seemed like nothing was wrong “hey babe!” You smiled shutting your door as the call connected “hey.” Will had something that plagued his mind and unfortunately for him you noticed it “you okay?” You frowned fixing the strings of your hoodie.

He hated that he couldn’t lie to you “you know you’re a great person right?” The words rolled off of his tongue as it made you freeze “what are you getting at?” Your eyebrows raised as you grew skeptical “I think we should break up.” The hockey player blurted out as he had thought about this for the last week.

You were left silent as your mind went through all of the different reasons why he would want that “we could end up on different sides of the-” as Will tried to explain it to you it made you lose it “don’t try to act like distance would now be a problem you dick!” You spat letting the tears roll down your cheeks “I’m just doing what’s best for you.” In all honesty Will wanted to end things before he ended up on a regular team with Cutter.

But as you shook your head staring at the pictures of the two of you that hung on your wall “what’s best for me is deleting your number.” Before Will could say anymore the call was cut short as you threw your phone across the room as you pulled your body to your pillow “you okay dimple?” Cutter called out as he knocked on your door. The nickname came from the bulging dimple you got in your left cheek whenever you smiled “do I look okay?” You sniffled not noticing as your older brother pulled you into a hug.

Ending up at Boston University honestly wasn’t intentional, but when Cutter heard had been accepted there you knew you couldn’t say no to your brother. That’s how you ended up in the same class as Will. The shock that laced your face when you saw him was enough to have everyone picking up that you two had history.

Maybe it was stupid of Will to believe that you two could have gone back to what you once had but instead of getting to watch you fall back in love with him, he got to watch you flirt with a new guy at every party. What he didn’t know was that you were doing that only to piss him off. All of the hurt you felt had turned into rage and you needed him to feel what you had to go through during the summer.

You were barely keeping yourself afloat as your heart never found its way to heal from the pain the breakup had you feeling. It was easy avoiding him in college as you two only had a handful of conversations during your first semester. Will wanted to see more of you but everytime he got close you were practically running the other way. Resulting in only a handful of conversations actually happening between you both.

When Cutter got called up to go to Sweden it was a no brainer for you to go watch him. Even with your family there you still couldn’t face Will. It made you feel like you were going crazy when his sister would frown each time someone brought up Will around you. There were a group of Swedish girls that showed up at each of the games and they couldn’t help but giggle each time Will got close to the board in front of you guys “can’t believe he’s single!” The girl cheered as you felt envy coarse through your veins.

Grace smiled as she leaned over to talk to you “those girls don’t mean anything.” What she wanted to say was that Will was still in love with you but of course she couldn’t do that to him, not when he thought you moved on “even if they did it would be fine.” You lied through your teeth as you watched them scroll through Will’s Instagram. You hadn’t noticed that there were still so many pictures that once belonged to you on there.

You laughed as Will pulled his hat over his head "baby no!" He groaned as you pouted "but you look so cute." You mumbled running your fingers up his arm "give me a kiss first." Will pulled you onto his lap as he smirked.

His hands pinched at your waist as it made you squeal "want you doll." His fingers forced your jaw to look at him "you're so pretty." You blurted out making him smile "don't know what I'd do without you." Will sighed as he raked his fingers through your hair "still want that kiss?" You clicked your tongue making him laugh.

He nodded he licked his lips "think I should be taking pictures of you." Will mumbled as he kissed you, his eyes shut as he savored the taste of your vanilla lip oil on his tongue "now I'm getting that picture." The hockey player laughed at your determination "don't want this moment to end." You sighed seeing the date on your phone as you two only had a few more days left together before you were going home.

Will matched your look "then let's have it not end." He mumbled taking your phone as he flipped the camera taking a picture of the two of you as his lips pressed against your temple.

The memory replayed in your mind as the pictures from your time together at the lake house showed up on his feed. You weren't proud but when you got back to the hotel you were back on your phone and scrolling through his instagram account as you saw that not a single picture that you took had been deleted. Everyone in the comments gushed about how smiley Will was as nobody knew that it was you behind the camera and it was you that he was staring at. A picture in particular that you found yourself growing sick at was the first one he posted after the breakup. It was at the devs camp with San Jose and he just looked so unbelievably happy.

You wanted to curse him for that, you wanted to absolutely hate him for the way he pulled your heart from your chest and didn't look like he cared that he was no longer yours. Maybe it was the comments that those girls said earlier as it was finally getting to you, or maybe it was the fact that you noticed the thick silver chain that was on his neck. As you swore that it was the one that you had given him you began zooming into the picture, you changed the angles, you changed how zoomed in you were, and then you made the rookie mistake of actually liking the picture. As the red heart appeared you felt your own drop "fuck!" You whined kicking your legs as you shook your head.

It wasn't as though you could unlike it because the notification was still going to be sent to Will's phone and he was going to know that you had liked it. You hadn't even been given a chance to dig yourself a hole to let yourself crawl into it, Cutter had to call.

Because that's what brothers are for, right?

Your face hit your pillows as you answered "yes?" You groaned pressing it to your ear "dimple where are you?" Cutter frowned as he looked through the crowd trying to find you. Even as their family was there Cutter wanted his sister downstairs with him as he felt bad that Will and you still hadn't spoken "I will come down now." You pushed your hair out of your face as you began to rub your temple staring at the outfit that you were still in from earlier "good and if you see any of the other boys bring them with you!" Cutter's words made you laugh as you knew that it meant that the guys also weren't down yet either.

You mumbled something inchoerent as it made him laugh "just get down here in one piece okay?" He was amused as he shook his head hanging up the call "don't date another one of your brothers friends okay?" You spoke to yourself as you stared at the mirror.

It took you record time to get ready and now you were running to the elevator as you hit the ground floor button. Lousy elevator music clouded your ears all the way until you dropped two floors and were now left with the doors opening to one person you really didn't want to see "fuck." You mumbled to yourself as Will's face dropped "I'll wait for the next one." He offered going to press the close door button in your elevator but you shook your head.

Cutter was in the back of your head reminding you that you were strong enough to be civil with him "we can survive together in an elevator." You pointed out as you crossed your arms stepping to the side to give him space to stand in there with you "you played well today." You chewed at your lower lip as you stared at the ground.

Will sighed to himself as he hit the red stop button on the lift causing it to come to a halt "what the hell are you doing?" You yelled trying to pull his arm away but you were just too late "we need to talk about us." Will pointed to the gap between you both "what us are you exactly talking about?" You scoffed as you rolled your eyes.

You sucked at your teeth as you shook your head "because the last time I checked you broke up with me." Your finger pushed into his chest as you felt your throat begin to tighten "just hit the dang button so I can get out of here.” You pleaded as you motioned to the buttons of the wall “fine.” Will nodded as he pressed the button “what?” His eyes went wide as the elevator didn’t start moving again.

When panic set in for him you did the same “why are we moving?” You groaned as nothing happened “I think this is broken.” He announced placing his head in his hand “yeah no shit Will.” The hockey player rolled his eyes as he saw you sit on the ground.

You grumbled something yourself as you plotted all of the ways you could have killed him whilst he notified maintenance that you were in there “look I’m sorry that I got you stuck in here but it wouldn’t have happened if you just spoke to me.” Will’s words had you ready to lean over and punch him now because maybe that could have gotten him to shut up.

It was clear he wanted a reaction “you want to talk?” You snapped “then let’s talk about how you decided to dump me when you knew I applied to BC too!” He wanted to blame the distance before “I did it so you didn’t feel like I was the reason you picked it!” Will felt his voice break as tears welled in your eyes “you had no right!” You furrowed your eyebrows as you picked at your fingers.

He watched your face contort “yet you still treat me like I don’t exist.” It seriously did fuck with Will as he had to watch you talk to everyone but him “because it makes it easier.” You blurted out as you slapped your hand over your mouth realising that you were dangerously close to a can of worms “easier to do what?” Will’s voice came out louder than he would have hoped as he sighed.

You groaned as you rubbed your hand over your face "I can't pretend anymore." You shook your head as he waited for an answer “all I’m asking for this the truth.” In all honesty he didn’t know when he’d get you like this next so for now Will wanted to air all of the dirty laundry.

So desperately you wanted the elevator to start working again in that moment so you wouldn’t have to tell him “I’m maybe still slightly sort of somewhat in love with you.” You mumbled looking everywhere that he wasn’t “you are?” Will felt a smile form on his face as the words settled in the air.

It made you nod “I don’t know why I am because you’ve moved on so you won’t even care that I’m telling you.” You chewed at the inside of your cheek as you watched him smirk “this isn’t funny!” You scoffed as you leaned forward to shove his shoulder.

But Will was too fast for you as he wrapped his hand around your wrist pulling you closer to him “you think I’ve moved on?” He asked brushing your hair out of your face “like I want to be anywhere else in the world?” Will added as he watched you lick your lips “sort of why you want to dump someone usually.” Your voice was barely a whisper as you stared at him.

He sighed as he watched you remain quiet “I broke up with you because I thought you deserved someone better.” Will’s confession has you sitting up straight as your pupils blew “someone b-better?” You stammered as you moved away from him “you need someone who can be with you when you need them.” Will nodded as he brought his knees to his chest.

You now wanted to hit him because you were sad “you were all I needed.” Your voice was just a whisper as you sent him a frown “god I’m so sorry.” Will apologised as he shook his head “how did we fall so far?” You sighed as he reached out to cup your hand “because I wanted you to have more than I could give.” It made you smile as you shuffled so that you could sit next to him.

His words made you melt “next time you tell me if you think I want more okay?” You let out a soft laugh as the boy tensed “next time?” Will repeated your words as you nodded “I want to try again.” You mumbled staring down at his lips as though they were calling for you.

Will was quick to agree “I’d like that.” He brought his hand to your cheek as he pulled you into a kiss “fuck I’ve missed you.” The hockey player groaned as his voice had you smiling.

What felt like hours had passed by the time that the electricians came and fixed the elevator “thank god you’re okay!” Both of their families stood together as they saw their kids walk out “Will why are you wearing lipstick?” Grace smirked as Cutter stared at you “and why is yours all smudged?” Cutter added as he crossed his arms “funny story.” You trailed off as you awkwardly smiled.

You ended up telling Cutter most of it, but the big detail you left out was that you now had a boyfriend.

[pascaloverx]

Sweet Love

Summary: You're an up-and-coming writer, congratulations. To protect your beloved job, you're willing to do anything. Even strike a deal with the devil, better known as your sister's neighbor. You and Dean Winchester don't really see eye to eye, but in a moment of desperation, you agree to collaborate with him for a greater good.

Author's Notes: Many characters do not belong to me but to the Supernatural Universe (2005-2020). I hope you enjoy the fanfic's story. The fanfic will contain strong language and adult content. Dear readers, I'm here to let you know that if you enjoy this fic, please engage with it. Comments and likes are welcome. I appreciate everyone who follows this fanfic. Anyway, enjoy this chapter.

chapter nine

FINAL CHAPTER

The alarm rings, waking you up. It’s not even eight in the morning yet, but you need to adjust to your new life. You and Dean Winchester have been dating for almost two years, which is quite a while. You’re still neighbors, actually, and ever since your relationship changed drastically, he’s been trying to marry you. But all of this happened because, during a night of reconciliation, you both forgot to use protection, and nine months later, you gave birth to a baby. You had your moment of panic when you found out you were going to have a child with Dean.

You get out of bed, hearing your son crying from his room. "Bobby, mommy's coming to get you," you mumble as you quickly get up to grab your son. As soon as you reach his room and approach his crib, he stops crying.

"Who’s the most beautiful baby in the world?" you ask as you pick up your son and gently rock him. He’s too distracted trying to chew on your hair to pay attention to anything you say. Suddenly, the doorbell rings, making your son fidget excitedly. You rush to open the door.

"I knew my little boy would be awake." Bobby smiles when he sees his father at the door. Dean takes the baby in his arms and gives him a hug.

"Can you stay with him while I get ready? I don't want to make us late." You speak between yawns, while Dean nods, playing with little Bobby's hands, who is having a great time in his father's arms. You start picking out the right outfit for the occasion. Sam proposed to your sister, and today is the celebratory lunch for the newly engaged couple.

"Don't you find it odd that our siblings are getting married before us, even though we've already built a new life together?" Dean asks as he watches you from the door of your room. You look at him seriously. He knows you avoid discussing marriage. Having Bob was unexpected and unplanned. You want your marriage to be about something more than just that. Dean, on the other hand, wants to marry to provide a family for your son.

"We rushed the relationship process. They’re following the right flow. What’s really strange is that you’ve already slept with me and with your future sister-in-law. Do you think I should wear this red dress or this black dress?" you ask, showing Dean the options. He examines the dresses for a moment, while Bobby also looks at you with a sleepy expression.

"I prefer the black one; it will highlight your curves better. By the way, I like how things worked out for us. We didn’t plan to have Bobby so soon, but eventually, we would have had a child, right?" Dean starts rocking Bobby in his arms, resting the baby’s head against his chest. Bobby snuggles so comfortably in Dean’s arms, it melts your heart. You grab your clothes and toiletries to head to the bathroom for a shower. However, your silence about Dean’s question clearly bothers him.

"I don’t know, darling. You work so much with your investigations and the reports you publish, and when I release a book, I spend more time on tour signing it than at home. Without Bobby, we probably…" You realize you’re about to say something regrettable, but it’s already too late. You didn’t want to imply that you wouldn’t see a future with Dean if you didn’t have your baby, but that’s exactly what you ended up saying.

"So, from what I understand, we’re not going to get married because we had a child, and the only reason we’re together is because we’re parents of the same baby?" Dean says, visibly irritated, and you can tell from his furious expression that even the fact that Bobby is sleeping in his arms hasn’t calmed him down.

"I know what I said might have sounded that way, but that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to say that no one knows what our future would be like if our child hadn’t been born. But eventually, we will get married. It’s just that as long as I feel like you want to marry me because Bobby needs married parents, I won’t agree to marry you." At that moment, you feel as if you can’t quite express yourself properly. The father of your child seems to be getting more stressed. You drop the outfit you were planning to wear for your sister’s engagement celebration on the bed. You want to try and approach him, but he looks uncomfortable, creating a tense distance between you two.

"I’ll take the reason we're still together to change his diaper and put on his new clothes. Enjoy your shower," Dean says with a certain sharpness in his tone, preventing you from fully approaching him. You feel bad, maybe even a bit foolish.

"Dean, I didn’t mean to offend you. Or our relationship, just try to…" You can’t finish your sentence because he closes Bobby’s bedroom door in your face. You can hear him playing with your son while likely changing him. So, you turn, heading toward your bedroom to grab your clothes and take a shower. The weight of guilt lingers on your shoulders the entire time, and all you want is for this argument to be over.

Your shower ends up being longer than you intended, mostly because you’re not eager to leave and face more tension with your boyfriend. When you finally finish, you hurry to your room, getting dressed quickly, then fixing your makeup and hair. Dean still seems to be in Bobby’s room with him, probably avoiding further confrontation as well. The silence between you two feels heavy, but you know you’ll need to face it eventually.

"Do you want to talk?" Dean says, appearing behind you, leaning against the doorframe. You glance at him while finishing your lipstick, wondering if this is the moment he’s going to break up with you. There’s a pause, and the tension feels almost unbearable as you try to read his expression. His face is serious, but there's something softer in his eyes, maybe a hint of frustration mixed with hurt.

"I’m not with you just because we had a child, I want to make that clear. I love our family and wouldn’t change anything about it," you say, standing up from your vanity and slowly walking toward Dean. Before he has a chance to respond, you gently kiss him, as if needing that kiss to confirm that everything will be alright. But even as your lips touch his, Dean doesn’t seem to want you close. He gently pushes you away, carefully, as if he doesn’t want to hurt you, but at the same time, he clearly doesn’t want your closeness right now. The distance between you grows, not just physically but emotionally too, and it stings more than words.

"I love you, I love our family. But you and I… we’re not going anywhere. What I mean is, if I still have to prove my intentions about marriage after two years, then what’s the point of all this? You don’t want to marry me, and you just won’t admit it because you don’t want to lose me. But it’s wrong to want to keep me at arm’s length when I’ll never fully be yours. Just like it’s wrong for me to want to keep you as my girlfriend when we’ll never be more than that. And if you don’t want that, it’s fine. But I do. For the sake of our relationship, we have to stop fooling ourselves," Dean says, holding your hands against his chest, his forehead resting against yours. Tears are falling from both of you, though you try to be strong for the sake of your son. The weight of his words sinks in, and the emotions are heavy, but the truth in them is undeniable.

"Ending our relationship isn’t fair. You know you love me, and I love you. We have a child together. Isn’t that enough for you?" you say, your voice breaking with sobs and tears. At this point, it doesn’t matter if your makeup is smudged, if you wish this conversation had never happened, or anything else. The only thing that matters is the ache in your chest and the fear of losing the person you love, the father of your child.

"I want to keep respecting you. I want you to be the woman you are, to have what you want. But I’m not what you want, not anymore. And maybe what’s changed between us is that our futures aren’t the same anymore. Bobby will always be our bond, our son. Our love can last forever, but only if we let the romantic side of it fade away," Dean speaks softly, as if he's at peace with what he's saying. But you can't find that same peace. The words feel like a knife twisting in your chest, and the idea of losing him in this way—letting go of the romantic love you share—is unbearable. You don’t want to accept that this could be the end, even if he sounds so calm, almost resigned.

"I don’t want to lose you, Dean. Maybe we could make some kind of concession to each other. You could move in with me, or we could be like those couples who stay engaged for a long time before actually getting married. Please." You’re bargaining with the father of your child, hoping he’ll reconsider what seems like a definitive decision. But he pulls back, as if he’s unwilling to give in.

"You will never lose me. But I don’t think there’s a solution for our romantic situation. It’s ridiculous that it’s at a moment like this, but we need to understand what we have to do. As parents, we need to give our best for our child. If we continue dating, my resentment towards you will overshadow everything. And you’ll never fully trust me romantically. I’m grateful for you being by my side, showing me how beautiful love can be, and for the child we share, but we’ll have to go our separate ways when it comes to romance." Dean says, pulling away, wiping the tears from his face, and composing himself while you feel like a storm is dragging you away.

"Is it over then?" is all you manage to say amid the chaos of emotions you're feeling. Dean looks at you as he steps back further, preparing to leave.

"Until we can be on the same page about our future and what we want from each other, yes. You’re free, and so am I. I know it won’t be easy, that we’ll need to adjust some arrangements involving Bobby, but I’ll try to be the best father our son deserves. I’ll get ready in my apartment, and I assume you’ll want to go in separate cars. I’ll respect whatever you decide." Dean says, looking at you as if he’s waiting for confirmation that you understand he’s breaking your heart, but it’s for the greater good. You think about yelling, throwing something at him, or doing something dramatic, but your son must be sleeping in the next room, and disturbing him is the last thing you want.

"I want you to leave. I’ll take Bobby later. Don’t expect me to act like everything is fine, but I’ll do my best to be decent and not ruin my sister’s and your brother’s day. Now, just go, Winchester." You say, controlling yourself as much as possible to avoid breaking down and losing your composure. Dean hears your words and seems like he wants to come to you, to comfort you. But how could he fix what’s breaking? So, he leaves, taking part of you with him. You then try to collect yourself, going to your son and holding him in your arms while he sleeps peacefully. At least you have him amid all this.

END

[dreamcatcher2113]

Werewolf Jace x Witch Reader: Date A Werewolf They Said

Summary: Just a cute little series that I am working on with werewolf Jace and A witch reader. 

Warning: Suggested Sexual Content

Inspiration Credit: @valeskafics 

Author Note: Jace and the reader are aged up, both of you are in college and living together. This is just for fun, doesn't really have a storyline.

Masterlist

______________________________________

Date a werewolf they said.

It would be fun, they said.

You and Jace were having date night tonight, the both of you decided that it was best to stay in tonight, because the full moon is out. Since Jace is a werewolf, it’s harder for him to have control. When it's the full moon, Jace can’t really control his appearances like he usually can. Right now he has his wolf tail, ears, and his fangs are out. His eyes that are usually a dark brown, are now golden yellow. You always thought his wolf form was cute, and you love playing with his wolf ears. Jace is not complaining, he loves it when you play with his ears, it gives him comfort.

The both of you were sitting on your guys coach, in your shared apartment watching a movie. Of course Jace was clinging on to you like his life depends on it, he wasn’t kidding when he said he would be more clingy than usual. You are used to it, considering the two have been together for two years now. Jace was always the clingy one out of the two of you, which you honestly don’t mind. But on the full moon, for him it gets harder for him to be away from you for so long. His stepfather Daemon did warn you guys about this when you two started dating, telling you it was a mate thing. It will take a while, but it will get better over time.

You noticed that you two were running on popcorn. “I’ll be right back, I’m going to make more popcorn.” You start to get up to the kitchen, but stop by Jace, clinging on to you snarling and growling a bit.

You were startled at first, but remembered what Daemon said to you. You can feel Jace’s fangs grazing on your neck, and his hot breath tickling your skin. You turn slightly, facing him cupping his cheek with your hand. 

“Easy there boy. Easy now.” You try to calm him down. “Do you want to come with me?”

Jace wined a bit, and nodded. Slowly releasing you, and the two of you made your way to the kitchen. You put the popcorn in the microwave, and wait for it to be done. Jace was holding you from behind, having his arms around waist. You were enjoying his embrace, then you heard him murmur something.

“I’m sorry Jace what did you say?” You asked.

“I’m sorry.” You hear him clearly this time, with a wine.

You turn around to face him, confused on why he is apologizing. “Why are you apologizing my wolf?” You asked.

Everytime you call Jace my wolf, it always makes his heart flutter. “For being so clingy when it’s the full moon. I know I should control it, and I am trying my love. It’s just hard…” Jace looks at you with sad puppy eyes, and his wolf ears start to drop, like a puppy who is sad when its owner is away.

“Jace.” You said softly. Wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. While his hands rest on your hips. Both of your foreheads resting against each other.

“I’m sorry Y/N, that I am annoying you with this.” Jace continued.

“Shhhh.” You shushed him by kissing him on the lips. “Jacaerys Velaryon. You listen to me okay.”

“I love you. And this isn’t a bother. Your step dad did warn us about this when we first got together, and when we both found out we are mates.” You start to explain. “I would never change this for anything.”

Jace smiled, rubbing his nose against yours. “I love you so much. My sorceress.”

You love it when Jace calls you that, like him it makes your heart flutter. You kiss him once again, but this time more deeply. His tongue was exploring yours, tasting every inch of you, you can feel his fangs graze against your lips. As the kiss deepens even more, your hands start to explore his hair. While Jace starts to grip on your hips, you can feel his nails digging into your skin. The both of you pull apart for air, and Jace’s lips start to travel down your neck. You can feel his fangs on your neck. You hitch your breath when he found the sweet spot on your neck.

The microwave started to beep, telling you the popcorn is done. “Jace.” You try to get his attention.

“Hm.” You hear him, sucking on the spot on your neck. You gripped on his shirt, and moaned a little. You can feel him smirking at your reaction.

“Jace. The popcorn is done.” You try again.

Jace pulled away from you, but still held you in his arms smirking. “I have a better idea.”

Before you can ask what he means, he picks you up and throws you over his shoulders. Earning a squeak from you and a giggle. Jace starts to carry you to your shared bedroom, you know you're in for a long night. You wouldn’t have it any other way. Yeah dating a werewolf can be overwhelming, but you can never be happier being with the man that you love, your mate. 

[two-reflections]

What is your take on the best reading order for Salamanders-stuff?

I starteed with the first half of the Heresy, jumped to Vulkan's Primarch-novel after Unremembered Empire, read the "let's bring him back"-arc of the Heresy, Read the 40k Omnibus, returned to the Heresy ... and that was NOT ideal!

So, what would you recommend? And, what aditional 40k-books besides the Omnibus do you think are esential?

TL;DR - I'm not the best person to ask because I'm not a Horus Heresy reader, but imo, if you're not invested in the Horus Heresy, go straight to Nick Kyme's 40k stories. First read the short story The Burden of Angels. Then, pick up the new Lords of Nocturne set that includes my favourite Salamander novel, Rebirth.

Alternatively, if you don't get along with Nick Kyme's style, read Forge Master by David Annandale first and then try the Nick Kyme books. If you are invested in the Horus Heresy already, maybe starting there is better, but I'm not the best person to ask about that.

If you prefer to listen to your books, there is an audiobook for Rebirth and an audiodrama called Fireborn. There are also audiobooks for all the Horus Heresy titles.

Long answer below!

To be honest, I'm not sure I have a good answer for this because any time anyone discusses reading orders, I always think "Whatever order keeps you interested and reading is the best." 😅

Also, I know this is pretty much a crime, but I haven't finished the Salamander-focused Heresy-era books. I... Really struggle with the Heresy, tbh. I fell in love with 40k through a tabletop RPG set in the 41st millennium, and I still tend to think of the Heresy as a quasi-mythical thing that happened in the distant past. Currently, I use the Heresy-era books I have as reference material, but I recognize that not completing them leaves huge gaps in my knowledge. I plan to get through the Salamanders ones (and a few other 30k books, including Josh Reynolds’ ones!) this year.

I read the Tome of Fire series around 2019 and have gone back to various parts since, but I haven't fully reread it. I should do that. I've reread Rebirth a few times, including recently, because it hits juuust right for me. Also, I have a physical copy. 😅

I don't feel super qualified to answer because of all that, but I suppose my recommendation would depend on whether the reader jives with Nick Kyme's writing or not.

After that, a reader has three choices: Dive into the Horus Heresy, go for David Annandale’s Primarch novel and/or his Space Marine Battles Book Forge Master, or follow me into the sad world of scrounging for snippets in codexes and White Dwarf. 😭

If they already like 40k and don't mind Nick Kyme's style, they should read the short story The Burden of Angels.

Then, the available choices are either the 40k Salamanders books or the Horus Heresy. Unless a reader is already invested in the Heresy series, I'd say pick up the Lords of Nocturne collection that's currently (as of July 2024) out as an ebook and will release in print in September 2024, as that will contain the whole of his Salamanders series, several short stories and Rebirth. (Finally! Maybe people will actually read my favourite Salamanders novel now.) Alternatively, the old Salamanders Omnibus has most of the same material, but without Rebirth. But why would you miss out on the best book in the series!

That being said, I honestly think the 8th Edition Codex: Salamanders is worth a look for readers, despite being game-focused. There are lots of fiction snippets in there. Would be fun to see fanfic authors expand some of them... FFG's Deathwatch RPG sourcebook also does a good job at setting the vibe, though it's older and a little out of date. Lastly, the recent First Founding Artbook has some of the most detailed info I've read about Nocturne and Nocturnean culture.

There are some solid short stories out there too. I love The Burden of Angels, as I said, but the two by Graham NcNeill in Shattered Legions are pretty good. (Shattered Legions might be another good way in, hmm.) Artefacts was an interesting read, I really liked Vulkan's voice in it.

For people who struggle with Nick Kyme's style, reading David Annandale’s Vulkan: Lord of Drakes and/or Forge Master might be the best way in. Personally, I found Vulkan: Lord of Drakes a bit strange and didn't finish it, but I really enjoyed Forge Master. It's a shortish read from the PoV of a techmarine boarding an ork ship. The first Chapter contains a description of Nihilan's forces besieging Heliosa, so if someone read Forge Master first and then moved onto the Lords of Nocturne Omnibus, they might be a bit better primed to roll with the story. I think Annandale’s Overfiend also has a Salamander in it, but I haven't read that one yet. Also, his debut The Death of Antagonis was Black Dragons-focused, but I haven't read that one either.

Sorry I couldn't give a better informed answer! Maybe I'll have a more fleshed out opinion later this year. 😊

One more thing a reader could do is find media relevant to conflicts the Salamanders were involved in. For example, there isn't (as far as I'm aware) a Salamanders-focused novel set during the 3rd War for Armageddon or during the Badab war. However, by reading about that conflict in general, a fan would come to understand a bit more of their favourite Chapter's history. (This is why I was asking for material related to the Talledus War recently!)

[someonexsomeone]

From the Start

Title: From the Start

Author: SomeonexSomeone

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing: Mark Lee x nb!Reader

Summary: It's so hard to love your childhood friend, especially when he's a big ol' idiot.

Authors Note: Day 10!! So...you may have noticed I missed the release. I'm actually so sad about it, but there was so big changes in my life recently that had priority over this unfortunately. I still want to complete it though, for my own sake as well as the promise that I would, so here it is! Only one more left to go!

If there is one thing you can always count on, it’s your best friend Mark. He’s the type of person who would willingly make a fool of himself to make others happy, who would give you his jacket even when he’s cold himself, who would gently pat your hair when you’re having a bad day because there was nothing he could say that would make it better so he makes sure you know he’s there for you without words. He’s a dork at the best of times, and a doofus in the worst, making fun of you without knowing but always ready to apologize when he realizes. He’s gentle and kind, stupid and naive, and the best friend you’ve ever had. The longest, if you’re keeping track, not really knowing a world without Mark in it.

So, naturally, with all his good qualities, you’re head over heels in love with him. And, naturally, since he’s so consistent, he’s too much of an idiot to realize.

You kind of thought it was obvious. I mean, all his friends seem to know it, though they are smart enough to only tease you when he’s not around, and even your parents have a sneaking suspicion that your journal holds a lot more hearts than you’re letting on. Your teachers, whether they do it because they know you like him or because you’re friends, always let you pair off, even going as far as just handing off assignments without a word to one of you when the other is out sick. Attached at the hip, the cause of many failed jealous relationships, your friendship with Mark is something you’d overcome any hardship to keep close. And, sure, should you be getting sick of his constant dismissal of other people’s jabs at your friendship being more? Should you feel dread in your chest, the unspoken rejection that weighs on your heart? To be honest, you hardly notice it, because as soon as it starts to get a little unbearable, Mark just has to flash you a smile, a special secret smile that softens his whole face and relaxes his shoulders, and your heart jolts alive all over again. It should be unfair, the way he’s able to elicit this love-at-first-sight feeling just by looking at you, but that’s Mark for you. An angel in disguise.

Even when he gets into relationships (because, let’s be honest, Mark is such a catch it would be weird if he’d never been in one before) there’s never an ounce of doubt in your friendship despite the new addition. Jaemin jokes that all potential significant others have to pass a test in order for Mark to ask them out, one that involves them trying to get close to you in order to garner his approval, the very same one that has Mark shyly asking your opinion on them seemingly the day before you either see Mark asking them out or start to ignore them. You blush, always with his teasing, but Jaemin’s words seem to have some truth to them because anyone you have a neutral or negative opinion of disappears from Mark’s side almost immediately after. And, from the goodness of your heart (damn you, heart), you always give him your honest and true feelings, even when you know this means Mark will start dating. Haechan can’t believe you, it’s honestly the thing you two fight about the most, and always yells at you the next day for not telling Mark your feelings.

“He eats out of the palm of your hand and you lead him right to someone else!” he yells, crossing his arms with a glare on his face before grabbing you, hugging you close, and taking you out to ice cream despite your protests. Honestly, you want Mark to be happier than anything, even if it means him being with someone else. Haechan, for all of his loud complaints, never says anything as you cry into your bowl, sniffles hidden behind bites of your frozen consolation prize. His glare is fierce, but his hand is gentle as it strokes your hair. “Honestly. What are we going to do with you?”

Mark, at least, has never made you feel excluded or unwanted when he does have a relationship. He’s sweet, inviting you along before blushing bright red when you point out that he could use that outing opportunity for a date with his new significant other instead of a hang out with you tagging along. The common occurrence means he always tries to make it up to you, despite never having plans in the first place, but if it means more time with Mark you jump at the chance. His friends make up for his absence a lot, pulling you along even when you insist you’re fine, which inevitably means that Mark having a partner often coincides with times your close-knit group of friends is closer than ever. You didn’t even realize it yourself until Chenle pointed it out.

“What are you talking about?” you questioned one day over a game of Monopoly. Somehow you were roped in, once again, to join the boys to hang out in Jeno’s basement while Mark went on a date with his newest girlfriend, a boring but otherwise sweet girl named Miyeong. You were sort of blindsided by this newest partner as you had never seen Mark look in her direction, let alone talk to her in order to develop feelings. While he was out, Chenle coerced you into the game, batting his big eyes in a way you could never say no to. You should have realized you were a sucker when Jaemin was the only other person to say yes, the other boys tearing through packages of snacks and watching some random movie. So far, Chenle had over half of the board bought out, and Jaemin was about 2 dollars away from bankruptcy.

“You’ve never noticed it?” At your confused face, he scoffed. “Come on. There’s no way.”

“They didn’t even notice Mark wouldn’t date someone until he got their approval. How could you possibly think-” Jaemin cut himself off, squawking when he realized he just landed on Go To Jail.

“That was karma,” you snickered, dodging the flying money and Jaemin threw his arms in the air in defeat. “Besides, if Mark didn’t like them, why would he even go out with them?”

“So that he has an excuse to hang out with you more.”

“Chenle. What on earth are you talking about? Mark and I literally hang out all the time?”

“Yeah, but that’s for homework and stuff!” You scoff, moving your piece and narrowly avoiding Chenle’s housed yellow space. As you pick of 10 dollars for winning the lottery, Chenle stares at you intensely. “You really don’t know?”

“No, I really don’t know.”

“Yeah, enlighten the room!” Jeno calls from his spot on the couch. The others have all stopped what they're doing in order to look at you two.

“Really? No one else noticed?”

“Chenle, I don’t think this is a good idea-” Jisung starts before his best friend cuts him off.

“You never made the connection between his dates and your dates?” You blush but otherwise shake your head. Chenle looks at you like you’re stupid, which honestly, sort of feels like it with the way he’s stating things like they were so obvious. “When you and Mark hang out, what do you normally do?”

“I guess it depends.”

“But, on average, would you say you go over to his or he comes over to yours and you guys do homework?”

“Sometimes, I guess. We watch movies when we don't.”

“Wait, but didn’t you just go to that art installation last weekend?” Jaemin asks, the game all but abandoned.

“Well…yeah. He said he saw a poster for it and wanted to go.”

“But he didn’t invite his literal girlfriend who he was hanging out with at the time?”

“What? He was hanging out with his girlfriend?” Chenle sighs, slapping his forehead.

“Yes, idiot. Mark was on a date and saw a poster for something to do and wanted to go with you.” You pause, but otherwise don’t make the connection. “Okay…what about the Fair?”

“What about it?”

“Mark took you to a Fair, a decidedly romantic and very obvious date spot, instead of his friends or even his girlfriend. And! He waited until the end of the summer to take you instead of the beginning.”

“But he knew I wanted to go but hadn’t been able to,” you defended.

“But why didn’t he go? Why didn’t he go twice? It wasn’t like there was anything stopping him from doing it.” You sighed, pinching your eyes.

“Chenle, can you just get to the point?” Chenle looked at you in disbelief, looking around the room to get some backup but was only met with a bunch of confused faces.

“Are you guys serious? Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“Not all of us are creepily perspective,” Jeno quipped, which earned him a glare.

“Mark wants to take you on dates but doesn’t know how to do it without an excuse, or because he’s extremely stupid, and the one he’s obviously decided on is ‘making it up to you’ when he has to hang out with his significant other.”

You couldn’t help it. You laugh, and honest to goodness laugh that shakes your whole body and makes tears spring to the corner of your eyes. You laugh shrill enough that it echoes in the room, the only sound in the room, really, because Chenle has managed to stun the rest of the people in it. So you laugh, loudly in disbelief, because if you didn’t you’d be worried about the possibility, no matter how small, that Chenle might be right. And that’s just too much to process, especially since the only reason you’re hanging out with them now and are able to have this conversation is because Mark is on a very real date with his very real girlfriend. Mark dating only so he could ask you out? What kind of stupid logic is that?

“I’m serious!” Chenle yells after a minute, crossing his arms, and if he was standing, you had no doubt he would be stomping his foot like a child.

“Chenle, be serious. How could you have possibly made that connection?”

“He has a point,” Renjun muses, stopping your laughter instantly. There’s something about the way he stares off that has you on edge.

“What? Renjun, come on, not you too.”

“No, I think I agree with him,” Haechan pipes up. At your disbelief, he continues, “I mean, think about it. Aren’t you hanging out with him tomorrow?”

“Well,,,yeah? It’s a Saturday?”

“And he’s taking you to the new exhibit at the aquarium.” Before you could protest, he continued, “Do you even know what he’s doing right now with his girlfriend? They’re taking a walk around the park.” 

“A walk in the park is very romantic.”

“At 5 o'clock on a Friday? Yeah, if you’re going to dinner after, but Mark is coming here soon so we can watch the newest episode of A2K. There’s no way that’s enough time for a romantic dinner, let alone a casual date at a cafe.”

“What, so Mark’s just a bad boyfriend?”

“No! Well, yes.” Haechan sighs, getting up in order to crouch in front of you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I think Chenle has a point. Mark is an idiot, in that we can all agree, but there’s an obvious difference in how he treats you when he has a partner and when he’s single.”

“So, what?” You stand, torn between being furious and being embarrassed, nearly knocking Haechan onto his ass. At the moment, you didn’t know which was directed where, but either way it made your face burn and your hands sweat profusely. “He’s just been taking me on dates when he has a partner because..what? Does he want to date me? Don’t be ridiculous! If he wanted to date me, why wouldn’t he just ask instead of going out with someone else?”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship?” Jaemin offers.

“And instead everyone thinking he’s a cheater is better?” You can’t help your voice raising. There was no way, absolutely no way, your friends were sitting in front of you telling you the person you had been in love with since you held hands in Kindergarten returned your feelings.

“You know Mark better than any of us,” Jaemin rose at his words, taking your hand gently in order to get you to look at him. “You know his heart is good, but his actions don’t always make sense. Especially when it comes to his own feelings. Don’t you remember how he wanted to impress Sasha Kim in Middle School and ended up giving her a black eye? It’s like his logic flies out the window.”

“But what if you’re wrong?” You couldn’t help the small tremor in your voice. It was so quiet you could hear the shakiness of your breath as you exhaled, mimicking the way your hand was trembling. Jaemin held your hand tighter, pulling you slowly closer to try and comfort you. “It could ruin everything, and what I have with Mark is special. I can’t accept-”

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the loud noise across the room. Everyone whipped their head around, comical if it was any other situation, horror on their faces as they made eye contact with a very red-faced Mark. At his feet, the pile of precariously stacked magazines now collapsed, knocking along with it the bucket of Jeno’s Grandmother’s gardening tools. You paled instantly, pulling your hand away from Jaemin’s to cover your mouth. Mark? Here?

“Oops,” Mark said sheepishly, quickly leaning down to gather the mess he somehow made in a matter of seconds. Minutes? Your dread only grew with the realization that Mark very well could have been there this whole time and heard everything. No one dared speak as Mark picked everything up. Once he finished, Mark ran his hands through his hair, an embarrassed smile on his face. “Well, hopefully, that was embarrassing enough to distract from their rejection, eh, Jaemin?”

You didn’t dare look at anyone’s face before you snatched your bag from the floor, walking as fast as you could while dodging the various hands that tried to stop your escape. You couldn’t even look Mark in the eyes as he whispered your name as you dashed past him, too embarrassed to give in like you normally would at that soft voice of his. Jaemin called your name too, followed by Haechan, then the rest of the boys, but it was too late. The upstairs door was already slamming shut, cutting off their voices, and hiding your figure as it disappeared down the street.

Your phone was blowing up with texts by the time you got home. Jaemin was worried, Haechan was cursing, Jisung was apologizing, Chenle was laughing, Jeno was confused, and Renjun, above all, was asking how you were doing. You sent him a reply, but were too embarrassed to respond to the rest, flopping down on your bed in the most dramatic way possible, already dreading the message you would have to craft to get out of hanging out with Mark tomorrow.

How could you face him with the thoughts that were swirling through your head? If Chenle was right, and that was a big if, there were way too many questions you couldn’t live without knowing. Why would Mark act like that? How could he have a significant other when he wanted to date you? Did he know about your feelings? That question made your face burn.

If Mark did feel anything for you, how could he act so normal around you? Being his best friend, you were there for every one of Mark’s crushes, the big ones and the small ones, and he always had the same tell no matter what; a burning face, the failed smooth moves, and the ultimate discussion with you about his feelings. Your heart was beating out of your chest, far too excited about the prospect that maybe he did have feelings for you, and far too scared about the possibility that he never would.

A few hours later, your phone binged! with the special sound reserved for Mark’s messages. Your phone nearly slipped out of your hands when you read his text.

From: Markle

Are you still down for our date tomorrow? I think we have some things to talk about haha

______________________________________________________________

masterlist  l What is Laufeyfest? l Laufeyfest masterlist

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 3/5

Book Blurb:

This funny, electric rom-com follows a teen struggling to reclaim her perfect life and the perfectly wrong guy who sees through her facade, from the acclaimed author of It All Comes Back to You.

Anisa Shirani is…well, perfect. A fact, not an opinion. Of course, it’s all a front to feed her own praise-obsessed ego. Behind closed doors, she is—some might say—a little slobbish and snobbish, and she works obsessively to maintain her God-given talents. Fate has favored her, but Ani knows better than anyone that fate is made by effort.

But she must, especially when all signs point to her being a top-notch lawyer with a top-notch education and being destined to marry Isaac, total heartthrob and eldest son of the richest family in the community. A perfect girl deserves a perfect life, and Ani’s perfect life is going exactly the way it should…

Until Ani’s parents announce they’re getting divorced.

Until Isaac shows all the signs of…cheating. Sort of.

Until she starts catching feelings for Marlow, an overly friendly weirdo she’s hated since the moment she laid eyes on him in class.

How can fate be so wrong? 

Review:

A teen struggling with realizing that her "perfect" life isn't so perfect when the wrong guys sees straight through her and the fact that her boyfriend has been distancing himself for her. Anisa is perfect or so she wants everyone to think she is. When the truth is she is a bit snobby and messy and has a praise-obsessed ego. She's determined to make everything go her way yet when a new student begins in her class and sees right through her... she begins to re-evaluate herself. Another issue is that her own boyfriend has been acting distant and suspicious and Anisa has to question whether or not she actually loves him or was going along with the relationship to appease her family. Can she finally stop her facade and embrace her true self and discover her own feelings or is perfection too good to give up? This was a coming of age story about a teen girl who is dealing with striving to be perfect and to make her parents happy while also fighting with herself with trying to keep the true her inside. It's a okay story and Anisa does a bit of growing by the end of the book. Marlow was a sweet love interest who just felt too good for Anisa. Marlow was really caring and he was just so adorable. It's a fun read for YA readers I think and its a fun opposites attracts, help me win back my ex while I also begin to fall for you, mixed in with family drama story.

Release Date: October 8,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and HarperCollins Children's Books | Quill Tree Books for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[omentranslates]

Owari no Seraph chapter 141 english fan translation

Broke my streak v_v late again the official has been out for hours at here so I hope you read it in the meantime :')

Btw to anyone who likes my author's afterward translations: I am planning to get volume 33. I am planning to translate the extras in it. I do not know when it will be bc I wasn't paying attention and missed the preorder for the version I wanted ;w; so you don't have to put in any requests it is coming I just don't have a date I can tell you rn.

That is all thanks for reading :3

Color page text:

Volume 33 just released, congratulations for smashing that 12 year publication anniversary!!!

Volume 33 out now to great reception, look for this cover!!

What is a vampire's reason to live....

Owari no Seraph chapter 141: The Reason He Won't Die

Back in time....

Ky narration: My life has never had any meaning but to get stronger.

Ky Luc, from his time as a human

Guy: Hey boss, you should let us have a turn with the women too...

Ky: Do whatever you want

Women: Eek, Luc-sama!!

Guys: Nice!! We love you, boss!

Women: *screaming*

Scar Guy: Anyways, Ky Luc-sama. Where should we head to next?

Ky: Huh?

Scar Guy: Surely you're not someone who would be satisfied just leading this little group of bandits?

Ky: I dunno. I don't really have anything else in mind. I'm just trying to scrape by, survive today.

Scar Guy: You always say that.

Ky: We're expanding at a pretty good rate by accepting mercenaries now. We could probably take over some smalltime nobleman's territory by now.

Scar Guy: Do you have one in mind?

Ky: Hmmm

Scar Guy: Whatever you choose, my life is yours. I know that if I follow you, it'll be an interesting way to live.

Ky: A way to live, huh.

Ky narration: But I truly didn't have any specific plans or goals in mind. I was just trying to get stronger day by day.

14 years earlier

Ky Luc's mom: Got it?

Ky Luc's mom: You're going to survive, you have to get stronger than anyone else and survive. Don't think about anything else. Do you understand?

Ky: Yes. I understand, Mother.

Ky narration: I am the child of the local noble's fifth wife.

Whispering Women: Poor thing, I heard the second wife has been poisoning the fifth's meals.

Whispering Women: Ky Luc-sama will be killed as soon as his mother dies, won't he? Even though he's such a cute kid...

Nobleman: There is no weakling who is a child of mine. Only the strong will succeed me.

Ky narration: My mother died when I was 10 years old and I was immediately sold into slavery. The weak die. The strong live. That's that. But if everyone dies in the end, then what's the point of any of this? Mother?

Ky Luc's mother: You need to get stronger, don't think about anything else.

Ky: ....yes, Mother.

Bandits: YAAAAA!!! KILL EVERYONE AND TAKE THEIR STUFF!!

Ky Luc's Brother: H-hey, Ky Luc!!?? What the hell are you doing!!? How could you!?

Ky: Hi, onii-sama. I'm home.

Ky Luc's Brother: *screaming*

Ky Luc's Brother: Wh....y-you...

Ky: You're weak. The weak die. Kill him.

Nobleman: Aah-Ky Luc!!? So you've become this strong-!!?

Women: *screaming*

Ky: *sigh*

Scar Guy: Congratulations on your victory. This land is now under the command of Ky Luc-sama and-

Ky: Not interested in that.

Scar Guy: Well, then we will

Guys: Hey by the way, boss-!

Scar Guy: He's not "boss" anymore, Ky Luc-sama is the nobility here.

Guys: Boss, hey boss, how about these women* here-

Ky: I said do whatever you want

Guys: THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!

Women: *screaming*

Ky: I feel like I completed something....so what, just still living? How far should I go in the name of strength? Mother?

Ky Luc's Mother: More

Ky Luc's Mother: Stronger, more and more, until no one can kill you, that kind of strength!

Ferid: It's over～!

Ky: FERID BATHORYYYYY!!!

Ky: He's stronger than before, can I dodge this?

Ky: I can't! Well, then I'll beat him to it!

Ferid: Whoa, he cut himself in half!

Ky: O sword, DRINK MY BLOOD!!!!

Ky: I can reach you first!

Ferid: Then let's make it a tie!

Ky: Actually nvm, your chains are sketch!

Ky: Whatever he did just now, he's become faster than I remember even Krul and Lest Karr being.

Ky narration: You gotta be fuckin' with me, what happened to being a 7th progenitor.

Ferid: Hey Guren, Gureeeen, you might wanna have your human guys retreat. I didn't realize this before having this much strength, but somehow I don't think Ky Luc is actually a 5th progenitor.

Shinya: .....um.

Mito: GUREN!!!

Sayuri: Guren-sama!!

Kureto: ....

Shinya: Guren

Guren: If you can't kill this guy here, the second progenitors will find out about your power ups.

Ferid: When did I say I wasn't killing him?

Ferid: I want Mahiru-chan to keep me company, but I can't guarantee the safety of humans for this.

Kureto: Fine by me. And our rendezvous point?

Guren: Do you still remember...that love hotel everyone used to hide in before it all went to hell?

Shinya: Oh that place, is it still there?

Guren: If you remember it then get going.

Shinya: Byakkomaru

Shinya: While he's distracted counterattacking we're going to make a break for it. And Guren, you owe us an explanation.

Guren: Yeah

Ky narration: How do I kill him? How do I kill him? How did he get that strong? I've really gotta ask about that. Would the human worth anything to him as a hostage or not?

Mahiru: So how strong is he? I can't imagine more than a 3rd progenitor.

Ferid: I don't know about that, he was the second progenitor Urd Giles' favorite after all.

Ferid: It wouldn't be wise to take him lightly.

Mahiru: Oh really

Mahiru: Having to fall back your trump card again? A fight with a higher rank progenitor could be too much to handle.

13th Century Moscow

Ky: DIEEEE!!!!

Ky: ACK-

Ky: Damn, not today either, huh. Ok, I lose. I lose again today.

Urd: Hmph

Urd: Why must you keep attacking me over and over and over again after a hundred years. What's the point?

Ky: Huh? Well aren't you stronger than me? If I can take you down, it'll be proof of my own strength.

Urd: Strength?? Vampires' strength is-

Ky: I know I know I already know. Determined only by who turned you and how long ago.

Urd: That's right. So there's no winning against me in either-...

Ky: Well otherwise I don't have a meaning in life.

Urd: Meaning....a meaning?

Urd: Then, there is meaning in your life, Ky Luc? Even though you're a vampire?

Ky: What?

The Living Dead's (vampire) reason to live....

Owari no Seraph will take a break next month

t/n

*this could be translated more derogatorily than "women." And I'm not really comfortable doing it as an unaffiliated hobbyist but I also just wanted to note it bc I don't want localization to sanitize the original material.

I've used the English words reason, meaning, and point pretty interchangeably throughout this for the sake of natural phrasing and sometimes at odd with the Japanese usually only using either meaning or occasionally reason. I will go back through and make note of what and where the original text uses specifically if it becomes important in future chapters.

I feel like I had another note but I forgot. But I also have to work on the twitter version now so I'll edit it in here if I remember.

[butlerettes]

WARNING: Some Smut, a lot of flirting

Facetime

Chapter 4

Austin had to fly back to Ohio. He was filming a movie called “The Bikeriders”.Austin was texting you every minute he could.  When they rapped for the day, you would face-time.  While face-timing one night, he asked how the new author was doing.  “It’s boring. You don’t want to know the details.” you try to deter the conversation.  “Please, I like it when you talk about your job. It gives me a little sense of home,” He pleads.  “OK, since you’re begging.  We are now working on the book's design.  I am in awe at how fast my team is working.”  “Is that good? I guess I don’t know what goes into publishing a book.” chuckling he scratched his chin.  Hearing this over the phone, you felt a little gush come from the deepness of your lady bits.  Heat rose to your face.  Trying to compose yourself, you answer, “There is a lot that goes into it. First, we have to feel without a doubt we can sell the author’s book.  Then we sign the author. Editing comes next.  Which was what I was doing the day I met you.”  He smiles, “I remember that day.  I felt so bad.  You looked so cute in your tan pants and your nirvana t-shirt. Nice shirt, by the way.”  Both of you giggle.  “You remember what I was wearing?” you ask, shocked.  “I do.  Is that bad?” he questions, squinting his turquoise eyes. Looking down at your nightshirt, “I don’t think so. I remember what you were wearing.  Jogging pants and an Anaheim Mighty Ducks shirt.”  “Oh, that old shirt, I should throw it away.”  “No, No, I kinda like it.  I mean that’s where you are from.” “I suppose you are right,  I still can’t believe you are from Los Angeles, and we have never run into each other before now.”  “Austin, You know how many people live in L.A.”

“O.K., you got me there. I am glad I “bumped” into you that day.”  “I am too, and I think I might like ya.  Just a little bit.”  “A little bit, huh?  Man, I really wish I was there with you. I want to take you on a real date.”  “Well, just think we won’t have that awkward conversation, you know, the one where you ask me, What I do for a living, assuming I know what you do,” you wink.  “That’s why I like you.  You don’t ask about acting. But, gosh, I wish you were here.”  “You will be home this weekend.” Then, taking a deep sigh, “I know,” he acknowledged.  You sit up, “Listen, Butler….” he interrupts, “Butler?” “Is that not your name?”  “Yeah.”  “Well, then.  I have to get up early tomorrow.”  “I could talk to you all night.”  “I know me too,” moving your lips to one side of your mouth, “But I need to get some sleep.”  “Alright, I will text you when I can.”  “G’night, Butler,” You say, smiling.  He chuckles, “Good Night, Y/N.”

While taking a shower that night, you could see yourself making love to Austin.  Wanting him to kiss you, touch you and have sex with you.  You had been trying so hard NOT to watch any of his movies or TV shows.  Not because you didn’t want to see his craft but because you knew you would do what you are doing now.  Your right hand casually goes down your breast, stomach, and sweet spot.  Your left-hand reaches for your breast.  Playing with your breast, you slowly play with your clit.  You start to get hotter and hotter.  Your legs begin to tense.  Your stomach feels the warmth, and your finger goes faster. Finally, squeezing your breast, you release. You meet euphoria.  You lean against the shower.  If only it were Austin doing that to you.  You didn’t know that he was doing the same thing miles away.  He was thinking of you in your running shorts and beat-up t-shirt.

The following morning woke to your alarm. Rolling over, you turn it off. You get up, leave for a coffee, and then go to work. While you were at the meeting, you kept looking at your phone. He is filming today and probably won’t be texting for a while.  Just then:

Austin:

Good Morning, Beautiful.

You:

Good Morning, Handsome.

Austin:

How did you sleep?

You: 

Good, you?

Austin:

I did. I thought about you.

You:

I thought about you.

Austin:

4 days

You:

4 days?

Austin:

Until I can take you on that date.

You:

Austin, you don’t havetoo

Austin:

I wanttoo

You: 

Oops *have to

Austin:

Y/N, I have to go. Facetime later?

You:

Yes, Bye Butler

Austin is typing…

Thanks for reading. I will be posting every other day. If you'd like to be tagged, please don't hesitate to let me know. Comments are more than welcome.

[addisonacres]

That's a wrap.

2023 is on its death bed and I'm both happy and sad about that. Personally, this year has sucked on so many levels and for so many of my loved ones. But four months ago I published my first title under Addison Acres and so my foray into the world of M/M publishing began.

It has not been easy. It was a hell of a learning curve, and I still feel out of my depth some days. It's hard bloody work. I work full-time and I also study part-time so it's not like I can sit and write all day (as much as I wish I could). I needed to take the leap though because if I kept on saying 'I just don't have the time' then it was never going to happen.

I've published 2 shorts and a novella on Smashwords and I think I've done okay with them. To date I've sold 768 copies. Yes, some of them have been freebies (Draft2Digital counts those in total books sold) but hey, I'm pretty happy with those numbers. Have I made millions of dollars? Pfft, no. Have I made thousands? Yeah, nah. But I've made a about $700USD so far.

Yeah, I don't have a problem talking about stuff like this. I know a lot of people are very hush hush about money but one thing I've discovered coming into this gig is that there's very little data to measure against. Who knows if this means I've been successful? I fucking don't! But maybe another indie author will see this and go 'Hey, that's similar to what I managed' or 'I made more than that so I'm doing really well!'. So yeah, I'm happy to throw out my figures if it'll help someone else. I'm not raking in the cash, and I haven't had my first title become a crazy best-seller and I'm suddenly playing with the big kids. I'm still very much a baby in this industry, finding my way.

Ultimately, yes I got into this publishing gig to make a few extra bucks. The cost of living has sky-rocketed and my job does not pay well. I adore it though so I needed to do something to supplement what I make. This isn't going to pay off my mortgage but it's paid for a new water pump for our rainwater tank and a delivery of hay for the alpacas. I've also re-invested some of my royalties into my writing. I've purchased the Atticus software and I got a bundle of photos from Depositphotos to use for book covers.

There's still a lot I need to do. I have yet to set up a newsletter, which is much to my detriment. I feel like I need to have a NL magnet first (which is the term used for a free story readers get when they sign up for your newsletter). I feel like no one will sign up for nothing so I've not set one up yet, but I have no idea what to write for the magnet...

I've been doing a lot of promo work on FB with joining release parties and giveaways but it's hard work. The marketing side of things takes up a lot of time, which yeah, I don't have a lot of. I did set up an Instagram account but I've hardly used it as it's very, very full on and I haven't really had the spoons. I know I need to invest more time in that, and I will try in the New Year but we'll see how full the cutlery drawer is first.

I also made the choice to do Tumblr instead of Tik Tok. Probably a very stupid choice since BookTok is huge and people get a lot of exposure on there. Why didn't I? Well, firstly, I'm really not very good at making videos and editing them. It's so very time consuming. Secondly, I like Tumblr. Is it a dumpster fire? Yes. Am I a bin chicken masquerading as a human? You betcha. So, yeah, I feel comfortable here. But I know I need to invest in more time here also.

Anyway, next year is a new year. I am currently working on a project that I've told no one about because I feel if I do, I will jinx myself and my motivation will fuck off to the moon. So, there is something in the works for publishing maybe in February. I'll be looking for beta readers once I've gotten it finished so if you're interested, hit me up.

I've also created a new logo because I haven't really done that and I figured I really should. I've made 4 variations to use for different situations and I really like it. It's pretty.

Anyway, I've rambled enough. Just wanted to do a little wrap up for the year and to prove that I'm not dead lol

Enjoy the final days of 2023 and I shall catch you all on the flip side.

[rachaelreadsposts]

A Touch of Darkness Review

Author: Scarlett St. Clair

Release Date: May 23, 2019

My Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★.5 (out of 5 stars)

The only reason it’s a 4.5/5 is because the beginning was a bit slow but the build of the tension between Hades and Persephone was so needed; so I’ll let it slide :)

Book Synopsis:

"Persephone is the Goddess of Spring by title only. The truth is, since she was a little girl, flowers have shriveled at her touch. After moving to New Athens, she hopes to lead an unassuming life disguised as a mortal journalist.

Hades, God of the Dead, has built a gambling empire in the mortal world and his favorite bets are rumored to be impossible.

After a chance encounter with Hades, Persephone finds herself in a contract with the God of the Dead and the terms are impossible: Persephone must create life in the Underworld or lose her freedom forever.

The bet does more than expose Persephone’s failure as a goddess, however. As she struggles to sow the seeds of her freedom, love for the God of the Dead grows—and it’s forbidden." (Goodreads)

My annotations and highlights:

"The narcissus was the flower and symbol of Hades, the God of the Dead."

"Dionysus' line of wines sold out in seconds and were rumored to contain ambrosia." - I am a huge wine head and I would LOVE to try a wine by the God of Wine! Who wouldn't honestly???

"The word darling slid across her skin."

Hades calls Persephone darling in this quote. And the tension in this book between them makes you feel this quote. Personally, this quote slid across my skin.

"If you belong to him (Hades), he will tear the world apart to save you."

Someone pls. Where can I find someone who would do this for me???

" "Hmm. I think you are the Goddess of Sexual Frustration." Persephone barked laughter. "I think that's Aphrodite." "Did I say sexual frustration? I meant Hades' sexual frustration." "

Girl I my jaw dropped. Hermes read miss girl.

"She always thought of death as a sort of aimless existence-- a time when souls occupied space but had no purpose."

In this book, that couldn't be farther from the truth. Persephone gains this perspective when she travels to the Underworld and sees that there is a village where the souls live.

"It was destiny woven by the Fates."

GIRL THE CHILLS. Hades and Persephone were meant to be together!! You go into the book knowing this but it's just confirmed right here and you really get the warm fuzzies.

" "No soul has ever healed by dwelling on the past," Thanatos answered."

"I'm not interested in romanticizing Hades for doing something all men should be doing."

SLAYYY PERSEPHONE!!!

" "Tell me how I feel." "Like life," he answered."

This is a spicy scene! My jaw dropped. I had to pause for a moment before continuing to read.

"I am Persephone, Goddess of Spring."

Miss girl slayed I fear.

I really look forward to continuing this series!! I love Greek Mythology. I think this book is similar to Lore Olympus but obviously, it's not a graphic novel. To be honest, I feel that this book gives more detail and allows to me imagine the story better than actual pictures. With that said, if you like Lore Olympus, you'll love this book!

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 33

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Seb's plotting something. 👀 You also make some new acquaintences.

Author’s Note: After the small continuation of last week’s chapter, this one’s got a small time skip (like, a few weeks at most) and serves mainly as set-up for what’s to come. I like it a lot ^^ I hope you do too! Take care x

Edit: This was written and posted way before 1.6 was released, so I have no idea if the event CA added is at all similar to what I wrote in this chapter and the next one. Just wanted to give y’all that heads up ^^ (and pls don’t give any spoilers, I have yet to experience that for myself!!)

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next

Seb and I watched It Howls in the Rain first during our lil’ horror marathon, followed by Midsommar, because Seb’s never seen it. It’s still just as beautifully fucked up as I remember it being. It’s his turn to pick a movie again, and while he’s searching for our next watch on his new laptop, a thought pops into my head.

“We should go on a date.”

He looks at me with a grin briefly before turning back to the screen. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah! We haven’t been on, like, a ~proper~ one, y’know?” 

Seb pauses his fingers and furrows his brows in thought. “That’s true… I hadn’t really noticed, to be honest.” He looks at me. “You have anything in mind?” 

“Not really,” I shrug.

Narrowing his eyes, it looks like Seb has an idea after a beat of thought. He doesn’t say it though. “I’ll take care of it.”

“O-oh?”

“Oh!” He looks back at his screen, determinedly scrolling while avoiding the question. “I’ve got our next one.” 

I giggle at the enthusiasm, then dramatically whine at his pick. “Tremors?”

“What’s wrong with Tremors?!” 

“Sooo corny…” 

“In a good way!”

I sigh. He almost sounds offended, so I’ll give him this one. He’s allowed to like one of the cheesiest horror films I’ve ever seen if he wants to. “Yeah, I guess so. If we’re both still down for another after this I’m picking something corny too, then.” 

“Whatever,” he rolls his eyes. Seb leans down to kiss my forehead, and before he can fully pull back, I meet his lips with mine. 

Situating myself back against Seb’s chest, I nod at the screen. “Start it up, nerd.”

______________

Sebastian > you busy tonight?

< I’ve been doing some work at Magnus’ place but I can dip if you need

< why, what’s up 👀

Sebastian > think you can be over here by like 6?

< sure, need me to bring anything?

Sebastian > warm clothes and Cannoli

Sebastian > mom’s gonna look after him later on

< wym, what’s going on?

Sebastian > it’s a surprise :)

< love how vague you’re being ;—;

< but *fine,* i’ll be there 

I get up from the cozy, velvety couch, popping a bookmark into the big doozy of a read I was working through, and I set it on the shelf before heading upstairs.

Magnus and I still have yet to really do much aside from studying and whatever, but we’ve been seeing each other a bunch more for my training and shit over the past few weeks. Lotta reading, potion brewing, and creepy hikes into the woods for meditation and spellcasting practice. We tried some teleportation too, but I just can’t get the hang of it. 

It’s been exhausting, but it’s really fun!

We also haven’t gotten jiggy, as Seb called it. Just because there are feelings there and I have Seb’s permission doesn’t mean I’m trying to rush into anything. I haven’t even told Magnus about my agreement with Seb yet, either. Don’t want him to feel pressured. 

Plus, I mean… the whole will we/won’t we has also been exhausting yet fun, in its own way.

As I trek to the entrance of Magnus’ main room, I hear a feminine voice that I don’t recognize. It’s deep and sultry, having a little bit of a lilt to it, but she talks with an overabundance of enthusiasm. I didn’t know Magnus had company besides me... I peak my head around the corner, not showing myself fully yet. Wanna get a feel for the atmosphere before barging in.

Magnus is leaned against one of the counters near his cauldron with his arms crossed against his chest, mostly hidden by his black cloak. His ankles are lazily crossed below him, and he’s nodding along to a woman in front of him. His face seems riddled with concern. Can’t tell if it’s a more serious discussion than it sounds like, or if he’s just pissed about something.

The woman is tall — like, Seb’s height, probably — with pointed ears poking past her long, pin-straight, golden-blonde hair. Her skin is fair, and she’s wearing a velvety and form-fitting black gown with flared long sleeves. She has a gorgeous figure, jeez. The fit is topped off by a textbook stereotype of a witch’s hat: big, pointy, and black, with a purple ribbon around the base.

She was talking very animatedly, using her hands to emphasize certain words, up until now. She suddenly came to a halt. 

Magnus’ eyes widen as they dart towards me, and I watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows and tilts his head upward just a bit. It looks like he’s holding back from saying something – maybe a warning? – and the witch in front of him continues to stand still.

My own eyes widen, then flicker between him and the woman as my brows furrow. 

“What’s up?” I silently mouth at him. Next thing I know, the witch vanishes. I flinch, not having expected such an abrupt exit. 

“Oh, you’re a cute one, aren’t you?” 

“HOLY SHIT!”

Nearly pissing myself, I pivot my body to the source of the voice that just murmured into my ear.

Here stands the woman that was just with Magnus a second ago, observing my shorter figure behind ocean blue eyes and a coyly tilted noggin. She has a beauty mark under her left eye, but it looks drawn on, unlike my friend’s. Her painted lips, a deep purple on the top and lighter on the bottom, are framing a toothy grin. She’s taking me in like an animal would their prey.

God, she’s super hot…

“Oh, you think so?” Her heavily lined and shadowed eyes redden into the same deep shade Magnus’ do when he’s feeling things.

“Damnit,” I groan under my breath, burying my face in my hands as I realize there’s another telepath in my life now. “Please get out of my head…”

I hear Magnus nearing us as she lifts my reddening face from my hands and into hers, turning it a bit. “That’s no fun,” she tuts as she inspects me. Literally treating me like an object…

“Camilla.” Ohhh, it’s her! That makes sense. ”Release her,” he sternly commands. Whoa. Hearing him talk like that about me makes my tummy flip.

“So protective,” she cheekily responds with an eye roll. “Is this that little apprentice you told me so much about?”

Free from the lady’s grasp, I look at Magnus, feelin’ a little tickled that he told his least-favorite colleague about me. Still antsy though, my hands fidget with the ends of my hair.

“That would be her,” he sighs, his angry red glare softening as he looks at me. As he comes to a halt diagonally from me, he provides a formal introduction. “(Y/n), this is Camilla.” He noticeably stiffens again as he looks towards his colleague.

Hearing her voice, I focus back on the blonde. “Razzy has spoken very fondly about your work.” 

“R-Razzy?” I do my best to egg him on, brain-to-brain, now that I’ve gotten a bit better at that. 

I still can’t read people's minds, and might never be able to; but I’ve all but mastered the art of invading ‘em with dialogue, at the very least. 

My orbs and grin both widen as I slowly turn towards Magnus. He looks down at me beneath fiery red irises. I’ve never seen him so angry.

…I’m sorry but he looks sooo hot like this holy fuck.

“Don’t you dare…” 

Oh god, he sounds hot too!

I gnaw my lip, my smile probably looking more menacing now as I ready myself to eventually test out the nickname. 

“He says you’re quite promising. Very intriguing, considering how green you are,” Camilla continues skeptically, seemingly none the wiser about my private discussion with the wizard. “Even brought you up at the last council meeting.”

“Oh! Seriously?” My head whips between them.  “Magnus,” I address him, my eager eyes landing back onto his. “That’s, like, a huge deal, no?” 

From everything he’s told me about the council, I’ve concluded that they sound intense. Very private in their affairs, but more reputable than most magical associations out there, essentially serving as Ferngill’s arcane overseers. They work with The First Slash, too – masters in their own field – putting their differences in methodology aside to focus on keeping the republic safe. 

If I’m on their radar, that would mean huge things for my arcane career, I guess? Feels weird to put it like that, but it would be accurate at that point.

“It is.” Magnus’ lopsided smile looks proud as he adds, “They’re quite impressed with what you’ve accomplished, my de—“ he clears his throat before correcting himself. “(Y/n). I was waiting to inform you, alas—“

“‘My deeear,’ perhaps…?” Camilla quietly and curiously puts it together, tapping her chin.

D-does… does he not usually call people that? I feel my cheeks tingle a bit just at the thought that the title might solely be reserved for me.

Magnus sighs, seeming annoyed. Camilla then announces, “My business here is done. I’ll let you two enjoy yourselves,” she purrs with a wink in my direction. 

My (e/c) eyes bulge while my cheeks darken further, both at the implications and at how pretty she looked doing that oh my GOD.

In a naught attempt to stop her, Magnus calls after the witch. “C-Camilla, we’ve yet to discuss—” He exhales in defeat, “Aaand she’s gone.” 

Poofed away just as quickly as she has when she teleported behind me.

“She’s… a lot.” I wave my hands a little to shake out the stress of that interaction. 

“Indeed she is, that blasted woman... Brimming with talent, but positively infuriating.”

I lean back against the wall, careful not to trip over or tilt the potted tree at my side. With my fingers clasped behind me, I inspect the wizard. Failing to hide a grin. 

“What’s the matter?” he asks.

“…Nothing, Razzy.” I wiggle my eyebrows for added effect. 

Magnus fucking growls as his eyes shift to a bright crimson again. Oh my god. Oh my GOD. “I wasn’t joking,” he confirms. 

“N-neither am I,” I squeak and stutter. The unfortunate wombo-combo. I look down and scrunch my nose. “Shit,” I laugh hushedly to myself. 

Since our discovery those few weeks ago, there’s been a drastic increase in flirtatiousness between the two of us. I’d say every time we meet, we get one step closer to… uh. Getting jiggy. God damnit Sebby. The dude completely infected my brain with that phrasing.

There are more passing touches now. For example, Magnus will sometimes absentmindedly play with my hair as we work together, even tucking it away for me if it falls into my vision. Likewise, I might catch myself looping my digits through his as we walk to our training sites, when he opts not to teleport us.

There’s also been an increase in lingering eyes and stolen glimpses, both of us often getting caught in the act of checking the other out.

Magnus even says and does shit just to try and fluster me now. Random compliments here and there. Some innuendos where he can afford to sneak ‘em in. Faint goosebump-inducing whispers against my ear, as he watches me brew a potion or whatever.

Can’t tell if it’s the spirits at work with their partner in time bullshit or if it’s just me, but it’s getting harder to resist him every fucking day. 

All that to say, I’m especially feeling it right now. 

In the present, it’s Magnus’ turn to form a mischievous grin. His eyes darken and scan me and he draws near, my face and ears burning up.

“Everything alright? You sounded a tad disheveled, for a moment.” 

Magnus stops just barely in front of me as I nod my answer at him. 

“How uncharacteristically timid of you,” he quietly coos, bending down a little to accommodate for our height difference, and taking my chin in his hand. “Cat got your tongue?”

Oh come on, bro! That should not have been as hot as it was.

I squeak again, fuck, shaking my head as my vision trails away from Magnus’ prying eyes. My heart’s beating so frickin’ hard. Yoba, I wanna kiss his stupid smirking lips…

“Um,” I breathe. I clear my throat before murmuring, “I just came up to see if you wanted to go over anything else.” Good, straight to the point, (y/n). Don’t wanna bust a move just yet. “I’ve gotta head out early today.” 

I finally meet the elemental’s gaze again, and after a moment of visible contemplation while his eyes simmer to maroon, he shakes his head. “No, I won’t keep you if you’ve other affairs to attend to.” 

“Cool,” I smile as he backs up a bit, returning the expression. 

I take note of the way my cheek follows his hand for a split second while it draws away from me, and mentally scold myself. Unfortunately, I’m also made very aware that Magnus noticed it too. He hums out a soft laugh at me for it.

I make my way to the door, grabbing my jacket and tossing it on. “Any wild and crazy plans for you tonight?”

“But of course,” Magnus plays along, escorting me the few feet I traveled. “In fact, I’m already fashionably late for a mixer with some shadow people.”

“As if you’d willingly go to a mixer,” that term feels outdated somehow, “ya hermit.” After slipping my boots over my feet, I kneel to tie them.

“I would!” Magnus defends. “I jest now, but shadow people tend to have a playful vigor that I often find hard to turn down.”

“Sounds like it would be more fun to go to a shadow person party than a human party…”

”Indeed it is,” he chuckles. “Much less chaotic, believe it or not. Little Krobus holds one in their sewer every Spirit’s Eve — Festival of the Mundane, they call it.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Mhm.” Nodding and helping me up, Magnus continues, “They dress as how most mundane do, similarly to how the mundane wear costumes in poor resemblance to elementals during the holiday.” 

I try imagining it, and can’t help the brief fit of giggles I break into. I can just imagine a bunch of blobby, ink-black, vaguely human-shaped figures dressed as the citizens of Pelican Town, pretending to be us. Dancing like Emily, maybe trying to skateboard like Sam or jump rope like Jas…

“That’s so adorable, oh my god.”

“It is. I could consult Krobus about bringing you this year, if you’d like. You’ll need a convincing disguise, as many of their friends won’t take so kindly to a mundane in their presence, but I’m sure Krobus themself would be delighted to meet you.”

I nod enthusiastically. Even with how socially anxious I get, I’m so obsessed with the idea of befriending a shadow person, now that I know they’re not all that terrible. 

After patting myself down to make sure I have everything, I put two dorky thumbs up for Magnus. “See you soon, wizard.”

Snorting as he sees me out, Magnus responds, “Until next time, mortal.”

______________

I’ve really gotta get a cat carrier of sorts. 

I’m trekking my way to Seb’s house, trying to balance a tote on one shoulder, a backpack around both, and a very wily Cannoli in my arms. 

He doesn’t wanna be held right now, but I don’t have a leash or anything that would ensure he doesn’t just run off somewhere. He’s perfect when it comes to staying on the farm despite technically having the freedom to go wherever, so it makes me wonder if he isn’t comfortable to be outside and off familiar territory.

“Just a little longer,” I mumble against his head. 

It’s starting to get dark earlier now, so I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear a rustle in a nearby berry bush. Cannoli and I both stop and stare at it, expecting the worst. Why now, with my cat on me, is something freaky happening? C’mon, man…

The bush rustled again, and a short, stocky figure pops out. 

Cannoli and I yelp. 

Then, the figure does as well. We’re all solidified in place for a moment before it takes a step towards me, just barely lit by a nearby lamp.

I breathe a sigh of relief, realizing it’s just Linus. 

Huh… I’m having a lot of interactions with people I’ve never, like, actually spoken to lately.

“Oh— I didn’t mean to startle you!”

Giving Cannoli some comforting neck scratches, I shake my head. “No, it’s fine! I just didn’t expect to run into anyone out here.” 

“I often do my foraging during the daytime, but it’s tougher once we get to the colder months,” Linus casually explains while picking some blackberries from the outer branches of his nearest shrub. “Sorry if I’m in your way”

“Not at all, I’m just passing through,” I smile. “D-do you forage often?” I timidly ask, genuinely curious. I’ve always wondered about the quality of all these wild berries, but haven’t had the balls to just pick and eat any of ‘em.

“It’s how I feed myself.” I frown, and the man quickly assures me, “I live the way I do by choice. I hope you won’t take pity on me.”

“Oh! I didn’t mean for it to seem that way.” I shake my head again. “I didn’t know that, though, it sounds pretty neat.”

“I agree,” he calmly smiles. 

He has the same soothing and friendly aura my grandpa did… it’s really nice. No wonder he and Magnus get along so well. 

“Anyone can learn to survive in the wild. I think we all have the hidden urge to return to nature,” he says, “It’s just a little scary to make the leap.”

I nod. “For sure. It’s really intimidating.” 

“It’s rewarding if you can adapt.” He moves onto a new bush before beginning his goodbye. “Sorry to cut this short, but I need to gather as much as I can before it gets too dark.”

“Sure, no worries.” I start to walk again, offering him a good night. 

“Thank you, young friend.” Aw! “You as well.”

As we part ways, I wonder if Linus’d be interested in a home cooked meal every here and there. I imagine that even if he lives in the wild by choice, he might still appreciate something warm and made with care from time to time.

As I emerge from the backwoods and stumble down the hill to Seb’s, Robin is heading out of the house. Perfect. I barely have the hands to be able to open it myself right now. 

“Oh, hey there!” She waves, holding the door open for me.

“Hello!” I wave at her with Cannoli’s paw, jogging lightly to catch up. “I have no idea what Seb’s plan is, but thanks for offering to look after this little guy.”

“Me neither, just said you two might be out late.” She pats Cannoli, then me. I despise the content sigh I let out as her palm reaches my scalp. “Just make sure the lab’s locked up before you let the cat loose anywhere.”

I give Robin a curt nod. “You got it ma’am.”

“Have fun, ya rascals.” She makes sure to scruff up my hair a bunch before departing.

I snort and roll my eyes. “Yeah, you too.”

When I’m heading down to Seb, I once again make eye contact with Maru. This time she’s leaving the lab, rather than working inside of it. I can’t wave back this time because cat, so I give her a smile and hope my point gets across.

Once I’m at the bottom of the steps, I tap the door with my foot. “Oy, help!” 

“Comin’,” I hear Seb shout from the other side.

When he opens the door, Cannoli practically pounces on him from my grasp. Seb lets out a tiny yelp.

“What the hell, dude!” I look up at Seb. “You okay?” 

As he pries Cannoli’s claws out of the fabric of his hoodie, he nods, laughing. “Yeah, just scared me.” In a quieter voice, he holds the fuzzball’s face up to his. “Hello to you too, fucker,” he mutters before giving the cat a kiss on the nose. He’s so adorable. 

“Spill it, nerd,” I command dramatically as I plop all my stuff down and shut the door. “Where we goin’?”

“Not big on surprises, eh?” 

“I like surprises!” I frown, “I just wanna know what I’m getting into so I can mentally prepare.”

“Sounds pretty anti-surprise, if ya ask me.”

“Well, I wasn’t asking.” I tap my head and waggle my eyebrows.

“Fair,” he laughs, setting Cannoli down. As I take out a toy for the little guy to occupy himself with, Seb starts to explain his plan. “So, you know about the Night Market, yeah?”

“I think so…?” I furrow my brows, trying to rack my brain for distant memories. “Is that the thing with the boats and shit?”

“Yeah, it is. It’s usually out here, like, mid-January-ish. Buuut they’re set up on land in Calico this week,” he grins. “They have food stalls and games and shit, too. S’like a little carnival. More room for them to set up in the desert than over at our docks, I guess.” He fidgets with his nail polish a bit, shyly continuing, “It sounds like something you might like, so I figured we could go check it out…?” 

I’m fucking beaming. That sounds so fun!

“Hell yeah, dude!” I nod enthusiastically. “This is gonna be sick.”

“Thank fuck,” he mutters to himself. “I’ve never really done any proper dates before, wasn’t sure if I planned it right.”

“What do you mean? You’ve had exes besides Sam, no?” 

“Eh, kinda?” He shrugs. “Did a lot more messing around than actual dating.”

“Getting jiggy?”

“Precisely.” He reaches for my hair. “Here, you’re a looking a little skrungly.”

“Ugh, I forgot about that.” I lean into Seb’s touch. “Your mom gave me a new ‘do on her way out.”

“She did a shit job.”

“At least she knows how to do her own nicely.”

Seb’s lips curve up, as if fondly thinking of her. Makes me feel fuzzy. “Yeah, I’m thankful she passed her good hair genes down to me.”

“…How mad would you be if I told you she’s just as much of a MILF as Jo—“

He stops running his fingers through my hair mid-stroke and tugs. Mmm. A serious look suddenly plasters his features. “I will break up with you.”

Damn. I know it’s a bluff, given the grin he’s very clearly trying to hold back, but I ain’t takin’ any chances. I don’t shy away from casting him a shitty smile. “Gotcha.”

[beaisdifferent]

Endorphins are Drugs

I feel so often like a big dog in a small apartment.  An animal trapped in a space that cannot accommodate me.  I pace the living room, I pant, I grow restless, anxious, until I finally turn and eat the couch.  ADHD in my brain is so often pounding on the sides of my skull, sending mice to skitter through my hands and feet, itching, itching, itching for relief.  Sometimes I don’t even know what it’s asking for, and as I pace within myself, I can become anxious, distressed, angry, and numb.

ADHD brains aren’t easily satisfied, it just seems to be part of the gig.  We’re the big dogs, paying taxes and managing the dating scene while we pace our tiny apartments and try not to eat the couch.  I have to be let out into a big field to run, run, run.

When I exercise, I escape the apartment.

Exercising releases endorphins.  Endorphins.  These beautiful little hormones are free drugs waiting to reward you at the end of your favorite means of moving your body.  They trigger happy feelings, they reduce the perception of pain, and they even serve as natural sedatives.  They make you happy, comfortable, and restful.  These are free drugs!  I’m only exaggerating a little bit!  When I’m pacing, when I’m anxious, when I just feel off, a run through my neighborhood, twenty minutes with my dumbbells, or a yoga flow, does so much to set me right, to make me feel like myself again.  If I’m feeling anxious, it feels like I redirect my fight or flight response, making my body believe that I’ve fought off the beast or outrun the raiders, and my anxiety no longer has any reason to make me feel anxious about any issue, real or perceived.

And while working out by no means has to be a vanity project, it does miles for my confidence.  I grew up watching the animated Justice Leage on my dad’s lap, reading Percy Jackson and Gregor the Overlander.  I love a woman with muscle, I want to be her.  Taking my muscle building seriously in the past months and watching my muscles grow, getting my own “Korra arms” is a serious satisfaction a long time coming.  I don’t always like the way my face looks, the way my hair works, or what I can do with my make up, but I like seeing the work I’ve put into it my body and feeling proud of what I can do with it.

You’ve probably heard a hundred different ways to exercise, most of them centered on losing weight, especially if you’re a woman.  Cardio this, cardio that, cardio, cardio, cardio.  The only way to lose weight is cardio, and losing weight is the only thing that matters.  It’s bullshit, ladies.  Do you know which exercise will actually best serve you?  The one that you will do.  I’m not a personal trainer or an exercise physiologist, the only authority I can speak with is half of a yoga teacher’s certification.  But I have had success in this field and want so much to share that success with you.  Whatever you like do to, whatever form of moving your body satisfies you is what you should be doing, because that’s most likely what you will continue to do.  And we all deserve to be let out into a big field.

Do you like to run?  Fantastic, treat yourself to a nice pair of running shoes and share your running playlist with me.  Do you like to lift?  Amazing, I can’t wait to see your superhero muscles.  Do you like Zumba?  Excellent, find someone on Youtube get your heart happy.  Do you like Yoga?  Yes!  Me too!  May we be as bendy and well-postured as Ty Lee, who was definitely inspiring to me as a child.  Do you like hiking?  Splendid, bring snacks and water and tell someone where you’re going, share your pictures from your latest hike!  Do you like swimming?  I’m jealous, low impact, muscle-building, and great cardio?  I’m so proud of you.

Guys literally, whatever you do that gets you moving, your heart rate elevated, and leaves you with that wonderful flood of endorphins and that day-later-ache that says “you really did something.”  Horseback riding, walking, dancing, body weight exercises, weighted exercises, biking, Pilates, whatever you like to do is great!  I got excited writing this and had to pause to do some pushups, and it’s like a little boost to my day, a bit of candy for my toddler brain and now it’s happier to cooperate with me.

If you’re like me, and have days where even the idea of people seeing that you exist is enough to make you shrivel, then don’t worry about being seen by people.  You can do so much in your own home, comfortably locked away from witnesses.  There are lots of exercises that don’t need a gym or even any equipment.  Just a few minutes of dedicated time, a good playlist, podcast, tv show, whatever floats your boat to happy, sweaty, restful endorphinsville.

If you’re neurodivergent like me, then you owe it to yourself to find every inch of wellness that you can get your hands on, you’re so worth it.  You don’t have to overthink it, you don’t have to have a goal of weight loss, you just have to explore some options, find at least one that you like, and reap the many benefits.  I can’t wait to see what you do, go be badass, I’m proud of you.