#I know about a textpost of this a couple days ago

[sonseulsoleil]

"Are Frodo and Sam in love?"

"100%"

"I mean, yeah."

[rebirthdinosaurs]

content is getting longer

and no one is talking about it. analysis via really long textpost on this hellsite.

in prime vine and musical.ly days, i vividly remember talk of todays generation having a very short attention span- the six second videos rotting our brain and making anything longer than that no longer interesting and too overwhelming. then, vine died, and musical.ly turned into todays tiktok, and todays tiktok has expanded the length of videos to be anywhere from 3-10 minutes long. people on tiktok post whole videos in segments on their profile page- whole movies, even! tiktok having a function that allows people to go live also allows for the opportunity for people to go live for however long they want, which brings me to my next point: streamers.

even just on tiktok, i can think of an ASMRtist that literally goes live for 6-7-8 hours everyday- sunshinejazzy17- while simultaneously posting hours of content to her youtube. simmer lilsimsie goes live also everyday for hours on end, while also posting much shorter content on her main youtube channel everyday, and posting all of her streams on her side channel, moresimsie. these are not only two different genres of content, but also just the tip of the iceberg on the different genres that stream often and for many hours. there are a wide variety of gamers, which are very popular these days, makeup artists, nail artists, artist artists- you get my point. 

the pinnacle of it all- youtube. i was first introduced to my interest in long videos via people on this very website obsessing over quinton reviews newest video five months ago, where he released an eight-hour long video as a part for for his collective and ongoing 22-hour long series about victorious and icarly, and the essential universe of it all. i watched all 22-hours and so did many other millions of people. i think conspiracy and analysis type videos rein supreme over this sort of hour long content- probably right next to gaming. when shane dawson was still relevant, in his prime years he was making documentary type videos that were a couple hours long. his old counterpart garrett watts and old camera man andrew siwicki have gone on to make videos that are a couple hours long exploring haunted places- see: the video released on garretts channel a couple weeks ago that is two hours long and guarantees another, upcoming, similar video at the end. that video got almost 3 million views. 

i literally just watched a video that was almost two hours long by BoyzHubUltra about how izzy from total drama island isn’t crazy, and it got almost 600k views, and that’s what got me on this bender in the first place. not to mention, people like the theorizer have been making hours long videos for years now.

back on asmr, the ranges of asmr that there is- from typing on keyboards, to studying, to roleplaying, to gaming, to literal history asmr- makes the dedication of the creators pretty obvious, knowing most of their audience is only listening to it to fall asleep.

tbh, i haven’t even mentioned podcasts at all either, and that doubles with youtube since most podcasts also upload their content to youtube, but people are more easily able to just listen to hours of content while still doing everyday tasks like working or groceries. i actually just got finished with the first season of dungeons and daddies, which is a dnd podcast (and brings in a whole new can of worms that i’ll try not to delve into as much). when i started the first season, they were already about ten episodes into season two, and it took me about one or two months just to finish the first season. every episode was over an hour long, and there were 70 episodes. all in the first season alone.

i also listen to quite a few reddit podcasts, like rslash, who posts short videos everyday and has years worth of videos, and two hot takes which doesn’t release as often, but has hour long episodes when they do.

i could continue  talking about the different genres and platforms where people are consuming long hours worth of content, but i need to try to wrap this up, and i’m sure i’ve only just barely scratched the surface of it all.

adults are convinced we hate to pay attention to things, but we don’t. we just focus our energy into paying attention to things we find interesting. it’s like movies, or that tv show with episodes as long as movies, but treated less seriously because they didn’t have as big of a budget when creating it. we focus our energy into consuming hours of content via livestreams, youtube videos, and podcasts, and to them it’s like we’re consuming nothing at all. it’s a similar effect to not considering fanfictions “real books” just because they’re not published. that fanfic you just read that’s the size of the lord of the rings books isn’t suddenly less impressive just because it was written by a 16 year old who hasn't graduated high school or moved out of their parents house yet.

to the older generation who aren’t aware of all this, who never had internet growing up and don’t bother learning, we’re just simply wasting time on the internet. maybe we should just keep this secret to ourselves and keep them oblivious to it- it’s funny to see the shoe fumble when it doesn’t know where it’s going.

[writeouswriter]

Hi, Hope you’re having a good say.

I’m new to tumblr and looking to write a blog, But I don’t know where to start, Could you give me some tips so I could get started? I have about zero idea how this platform works…

Hello, hello, hope you are having a good a last few weeks, I am sorry I never see asks, tumblr likes to hide them from me, my goodness this has been sitting here a month. If you are still around, and not a bot message, the main tips I could give are just to check out other's posts, follow some people, reblog stuff you like, comment on things, interact with the community, and if you want to make your original posts, just make em, post your writing, your thoughts, tag them with what you think are relevant tags (don't spam irrelevant ones), and don't get too discouraged if they're not seen much because to be fair no one knows how this platform works, not even the platform itself knows how this platform works. I'd say most people are using this like a personal journal sending things and thoughts into the void until one day the void waves back and this is either comforting or frightening.

If you're starting a writeblr and want to post original writing or the like, most people do an intro post to get started in the community, usually with a mix of different details, depends on what you want in it, couple facts about yourself, what you write/will be writing/posting, tagged with things like writeblr intro, writeblr introduction, writeblr community, etc. Some people use the tag writblr I believe as well, and for writing itself, there's any number of tags that could be used, I'm not really up on all the latest ones, intro posts could be made for wips as well, but tbh I'm not the best person to be giving advice. I made this side blog to keep track of writing advice and writing memes and such I wanted to reblog for reference years ago, then made a textpost that by random happenstance/fluke got a lot of notes because often you get notes on tumblr by random happenstance or flukes, and then, spurred on by lust for power, I posted regularly almost every day, often by queue, alternating between original content, writing, humour, and reblogs of other's content, writing and humour, and just kind of fell into a rhythm before going back to the most erratic posting and reblogging possible and just chilling, woe to my poor followers. So maybe others would have better advice/tips as I have no clue what I'm doing here and don't think I ever did, I'm just hanging in the void.

[aroaceofthesea]

I posted 7,695 times in 2022

That's 7,651 more posts than 2021!

318 posts created (4%)

7,377 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@incorrectinfinity

@jankwritten

@minglana

@glassamphibians

I tagged 761 of my posts in 2022

#mine - 281 posts

#percy jackson - 91 posts

#life - 73 posts

#pjo - 61 posts

#dracula daily - 38 posts

#goncharov - 21 posts

#me - 20 posts

#ace - 17 posts

#school - 17 posts

#asexual - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#reading a post thinking bout some1 nd then baam its bout that 1 character whose personalty you only know thru textposts nd has the same nam

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

What the fuck is going on over there wtf

256 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#4

Tips to, you know, not die in your sleep when being attacked by a vampire:

Use a garlic flower wreath to keep the vampire away

Idk maybe NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OPHELIA who died with a lot of flowers over her

Maybe (just maybe) don't ignore the flapping just outside the window like what the One Person Who Seems To Know What Is Going On has mentioned specifically

Don't sign off with a fckin 'Goodnight everyone' in your diary this is literally How To Die Tonight 101 even if you're not being attacked by a vampire

(please don't take out your flower wreath while sleepwalking tonight lucy)

299 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

#3

I saw something a couple days ago about wanting more aro content so here i am to deliver

398 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

#2

They're a 10 but im aroace so i don't really care

1,477 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Haven't seen goncharov (1973) yet? In that case go watch it RIGHT NOW, but if you don't have the time for a 3h 32mins film (which is understandable but you have to make the time at some point) and you want to understand the memes I have you covered. (Keep in mind that there are gonna be important spoilers in this post)

Important characters:

Goncharov

Katya Michailov - Goncharov's wife

Andrey - Goncharov's lover (or almost)

Sofia - Katya's lover

Minor characters

Mario Ambrosini

Ice pick Joe

Valery Michailov - Katya's brother

Important scenes

The Boat Scene: a scene in which Katya almost dies.

Beer Bottle Scene: an infamous scene in the movie

Anchovy scene: a scene with heavy homoerotic subtext between Goncharov and Andrey

Dressing for dinner scene: a scene where Katya and Andrey are shown dressing up with cuts that give each of the things they wear the same importance as survival items, from Katya's high heels to Andrey's dagger

Bridge scene: goodbye scene between Katya and Goncharov. Beautifully made as you can see Katya second guessing her choice to betray him but she's too far in to turn back

Fruit stand scene: a heavily homoerotic conversation between Katya and Sofia while they are buying apples

Important plot points

Katya betrays Goncharov

Andrey betrays him too for money

Goncharov has betrayed Katya's family too, and Andrey is a living reminder of that

Goncharov is shot at the end, resulting in his death

Katya fakes her death at one point

Katya's father is killed at the beginning of the movie and she feels responsible for it for almost the entire movie, until she finally accepts that there was nothing more she could have done to save him, only to die alone in the boathouse

Even though Katya loves Goncharov, when she has to choose between him and Sofia, she chooses Sofia

There is a love triangle between Goncharov, Andrey and Katya too

Other important things

The clock symbolism is just so important in this film it deserved to be here

18,304 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[today-only-happens-once]

the only exception

Title: the only exception

Word Count: 4,549

Summary: College!AU, Musician!AU. Patton shows up to a music festival that Virgil—along with his twin brother, Roman—is headlining, hoping to surprise him. Turns out, it’s Virgil that surprises him first. Romantic Moxiety, brief background Logince. Song-fic.

Warnings: lots of fluff and softness and sappiness, mutual pining elements, declarations of love, description of crowds, cursing, discussion of anxiety, mention of anxiety attacks, kissing, Virgil “writes” a song that’s actually written irl by Paramore but ssshhh Paramore doesn’t exist in this AU, please let me know if I forgot anything.

A/N: Someone on tumblr once made a textpost that said “The Only Exception” was a Moxiety song, and weeks later I listened to it and realized they were right. And then I had this image in my head that wouldn’t go away for like. Months. And then eventually I decided to write this. It’s basically a song-fic. Crazy self-indulgent, heh. Also, I’ve never written Romantic Moxiety before, nor have I written a Patton-POV focused fic. So writing this was a whole boatload of new. I hope it turned out okay! Edited by yours truly, so all mistakes are mine.

You can listen to the song Virgil sings at the end here! 

Tags: @creativenostalgiastuff, @helloisthisusernametaken, @ren-allen, @quoth-the-sparrow, @princelogical, @random-pianist, @ravenclawicecream, @erlenmeyertrash, @milomeepit, @at-least-seven-pretty-potatoes, @rileyfirstname, @pinkeasteregg, @sassy-in-glasses, @vigilantvirgil, @generalfandomfabulousness, @lacrimosathedark, @thepoolofthedead, @monikastec, @heir-of-the-founders, @yourworstnightmare999, @artistictaurean, @kanejandkruge, @cdragontogacotar, @damienswifeolicitydallysgirl, @angst-patton, @savingshae, @noneed4thistbh, @awesomelissawho, @unikornavenger, @bopthesnoz, @spiralofsilencetheory, @finger-gunsss, @crownswriter123, @swlotakulady34, @gaylotusthatexists, @analogical-mess, @dolphidragon, @flix-net, @narniasfinestavengingsociopath, @friedlieb-ferdinand-runge, @bibbidy-bobbity-booyah, @procrastinations-my-middle-name, and also @randomslasher because moxiety! ^u^

…

Present. March. Junior Year.

Patton shoulders his way through the crowd as rock music blares loudly over the speakers. The late March air is cool, and the breeze tugs at the COLLEGE-PALOOZA MUSIC FEST banner hanging from the amphitheater’s stage. A few people he recognizes from his classes wave to him as they nod their head to the music. Patton slows as he finds a small gap in the crowd, not particularly keen on getting into the tightly packed mosh pit that had formed right in front of the stage.

The sun is beginning to set, casting the sky in a light purple hue. Perhaps ironically, it reminds Patton of the guy he’s actually here to see perform. Patton glances at the stage, but there’s no sign of him. He checks his phone for the time. The group was supposed to be on now, but perhaps he’d missed them already.

He looks at the guy beside him—leather jacket and sunglasses, holding a Starbucks cup—and asks over the music, “Which group is this?”

The guy takes a long swallow and then jerks his head towards the stage. “Planets Align. They had trouble getting the sound system working, so they’re running behind.”

Patton nods his understanding, smiles, and thanks him. Planets Align was scheduled to go on right before them, if the pamphlet he’d found on Virgil’s desk was anything to go by. He’d felt terrible at the time when he realized that the band Virgil had formed with his twin brother, Roman, would be headlining a music festival the same day Patton had already promised to help with a group project.

But the other members of his group canceled the meeting earlier today and rescheduled it for next week. So Patton really didn’t see any reason why he couldn’t come support Virgil. And if he maybe didn’t tell Virge in the hopes of being able to surprise him… well.

Besides, he had a feeling Virgil could use a nice surprise. He’d seemed really nervous about the festival when Patton was talking to him about it when he found the pamphlet. Virgil often seemed nervous, but… more nervous than even Virgil’s normal.

Patton smiles a bit to himself when he remembers when they first met.

…

September. Sophomore year.

“For the purposes of this research presentation, I will allow you to choose partners. We will need one group of three, but that certainly seems manageable.”

Patton glances around the stuffy lecture hall. It was only the third time the class had met, so Patton hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to many of his classmates yet. On top of that, it was a pretty big class. Patton had a feeling that he wouldn’t know everybody even by the end of the year. The professor waves her hand to indicate that they should select a partner and begin discussing the project.

Chatter rose up—most people leaning over towards people they were sitting next to, a few calling to friends across the room—and there was shuffling movement and the scraping of chairs as students milled about to find a research partner. Then Patton caught sight of a black and purple hoodie in the back row.

What was his name? Patton couldn’t remember, despite the ice breaker during their first class. He does remember the snort the guy had released when Patton had made a pun about his name when introducing himself. He also remembers the way he’d immediately ducked his head a second later when Patton grinned at him.

Patton gathers his things and squeezes through his classmates. “Hey,” he says. The guy in the hoodie looks up, seeming startled. “Wanna be partners?”

The guy blinks at him, then shifts in his seat and motions to the empty chair on the other side of his desk. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“I’m Patton, by the way.”

“Virgil. What, uh, what are you studying?”

Patton pulls his laptop out of his bag. “Oh! I’m an early education major. What about you?” As he asks, Patton casts a quick glance at the laptop in front of Virgil and notices the stickers on it: SANDERS in messy black scrawl, a thundercloud with a bolt of lightning, a small circle with a paint-smear style gay pride flag, and a few music notes.

“Graphic design with a minor in music,” he replies. Patton notices him glancing at the buttons on Patton’s backpack that he threw in the empty chair beside him—some about cats, some about dogs, a heart with glasses that he thought was cute, and a pride pin from last year’s Pride week.

“That’s pretty cool. You play music?”

Virgil lifts a shoulder. “With my brother, mostly.”

“Wow. That’s… really awesome,” Patton says, sincerely impressed. He’d always loved music, but really only dabbled in the ukulele. He’d always thought musicians were cool: having skills like that took a lot of work, and a lot of dedication. That seemed pretty admirable to Patton.

Virgil smirks. “If you say so.”

“I do. I mean it.” For a fleeting moment, Virgil looks taken aback by the insistence in Patton’s voice. “What do you play?”

…

Present.

“Roman is totally the hot one,” Patton hears a girl behind him say to her friends.

“Elliot thinks he has a crush on Logan Berry, you know.”

“He’s gay?” The girl sounds surprised, but not hostile.

“Ace, I think. Panromantic, if the stickers on his laptop are anything to go by.” Patton recognizes that voice as one of the girls in the LGBTQ+ club that Patton was secretary for.

“You have class with him?”

“We had English 100 together freshman year. Elliot’s in class with him and Logan, though, and says they want to gag literally any time the two so much as talk to each other.”

Patton grins to himself. Subtlety when he had a crush had never really been Roman’s strong suit. That was another place where Virgil was markedly different from his twin brother. Both Roman and Virgil had ways of keeping their distance from others, but where Roman put up a front of fearlessness and confidence and friendliness… Virgil seemed more likely to withdraw into himself.

Patton had learned that, and many other things about Virgil, slowly as meetings for the research project gradually developed into hanging out regularly and casually. Patton picked up on things about Virgil relatively quickly. He gets quiet and irritable when he’s actually anxious about something. He tends to catastrophize, especially when it comes to academics. He hasn’t yet learned how to accept compliments—something Patton didn’t let deter him from giving them. He hopes that the more he’s able to expose Virgil to them, the easier it will eventually get for him to accept them.

Patton learned that Virgil is fiercely protective, too. The fastest way for Virgil to overcome his anxiety about a situation is usually when it’s related to someone he cares about. He still remembers the fire that had alighted in his eyes when someone had started harassing Roman when he, Patton, Roman, and Logan had been heading back from a party on a Friday night a couple of months ago. Logan had been the one to diffuse that particular situation, but Patton hadn’t missed the way Virgil hovered closer to his brother and looked ready to fight when he’d seen the shaken look in Roman’s eyes.

But then there were the softer moments from Virgil, too. The fleeting moments when Patton saw something gentle and relaxed from him that a secret part of Patton liked to believe were just for him. They were a sign of trust from Virgil, and Patton had always cherished that trust precisely because it was so rare.

   …

April. Sophomore year.

“What time is it?” Virgil asks with a yawn. He’s sitting on the floor of his dorm, his guitar in his hands. His back is leaned up against the drawers of his desk. Patton sits on the floor across from him with his back against the cinderblock wall and his legs stretched out in front of him.

Patton digs his phone out of his pocket and checks. “Almost 1 in the morning.”

Virgil nods and strums a few chords softly. “You’re welcome to stick around, Patton, but… y’know. It’s chill if you’d rather go home.”

Patton shakes his head “I like it here,” he says. For reasons he is still figuring out, there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

Patton watches him; he watches the way Virgil’s bangs fall in a soft sweep across his face, the dark eyeshadow smudged under his eyes, the slight parting of his lips as he mouths unheard lyrics. He always loves watching Virgil play guitar. There’s something about watching him hold the light brown acoustic instrument—like it steadies him, like it’s a shield that protects him—that Patton can’t help but love. Virgil seems to… breathe easier when he has a guitar in his hands.

“Virgil? Can I ask you something?” Patton says suddenly.

Virgil glances quickly at him, then back down at the guitar in his hands. Avoiding his eyes. “Yeah. Sure.” His voice sounds oddly tight to Patton.

“Why do you play music?”

The question seems to catch him off guard. Virgil stops short for a moment, glancing back up at Patton. His hands still against the instrument, his eyes flit away in thought.

Then—to Patton’s surprise—he sets the guitar aside.

“It… gives me a space where I can… connect, I guess?” He rubs the back of his head, glancing at Patton as if unsure whether or not his own words made sense.

“Connect?”

“Well,” Virgil pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his chin on top of them, “Yeah. I’ve never been good at… at the whole…” He waves a hand and sighs. “At the whole ‘words’ thing that’s required for making friends or helping someone or… whatever. I’m always afraid I’m gonna say the wrong thing, or make them feel awkward, or… shit, I don’t know. But music is different. It…” He huffs a frustrated sigh as the words escape him. Then he tosses Patton a wry smile. “See what I mean? Words aren’t really my thing. Music is different, though.”

Patton nods. He glances around at the MCR and Dear Evan Hansen poster on walls of Virgil’s side of the room. “I think I get it. Music lets you speak from where you are emotionally at a given moment, and people can come to you—or your music—to find that connection and community. It… lets you express yourself, and by doing that, lets you connect to other people.”

When Patton looks back at Virgil, he’s looking at him with something like disbelief. But there’s a softness and light in his eyes that makes Patton’s stomach flutter. “Yeah,” Virgil says eventually. “Exactly.” Patton meets his gaze with a small smile, even as he feels suddenly like Virgil can see all the parts of himself that he wants to hide.

The corner of Virgil’s mouth quirks slightly and he digs a small purple leather notepad out of his back pocket. He grabs a pen from the top of his desk and scribbles something down.

“Whatcha writing?” Patton asks curiously.

Virgil folds it and slips it back into his pocket. “Nothing, Pat.” He still has that soft kind of smile and look in his eyes even as he grabs his guitar and pulls it back into his lap.

…

Present.

“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Planets Align!” The emcee shouts into the mic as he runs on stage and the band waves as they exit to the cheers of the crowd. Patton applauds them and briefly considers moving closer to the stage before deciding against it. He’d never done well with tight crowds.

The sun has dipped below the horizon now, the sky darkening quickly. The lights from the stage bleed out onto the grass clearing, providing some lighting of the crowd itself as well. The air is a bit colder now, but Patton doesn’t mind. Besides, all the people around him moving and dancing have helped keep it from getting too cold anyway.

“Next up, the ones you’ve all been waiting for. Let’s hear it for… SANDERS!”

Patton lets out a cheer as the crowd screams. He sees Virgil’s twin brother—though you’d never know it from how differently they do make up and their hair—run on stage with his arms up to encourage the crowd’s response. The cheers get louder, and Roman grins and strikes a hero pose. He’s energized. Patton smiles at his evident excitement.

Virgil follows behind him, an electric guitar strapped to his back. Even from his distance from the stage, Patton can see him shaking his head at his brother’s antics. He gives a small, appreciative wave to the crowd. His eyes scan it, and a part of Patton can’t help but wonder if he’s looking for him someone.

Reasoning, though, reminds him that Virgil said he always tries to get a feel for the size of a crowd when he goes out on stage at a venue for the first time. It had started as a nervous thing—how many people might see me fail?—but as Virgil’s confidence in performing grew, it had mostly just become a habit.

“What is UP, everybody?” Roman says into the mic. He’s wearing a bright red leather jacket with a white shirt underneath, shiny gold skinny jeans, and red high top converse. “We’re so glad you could come out tonight. How about this awesome weather, yeah?”

More cheers. Patton watches as Virgil pulls the guitar from around his back with a smile. He’s in his familiar hoodie, purple shirt, black ripped skinny jeans, and his black sneakers with purple laces. At first glance, he doesn’t seem too nervous—Patton had long ago gotten in the habit of glancing at him to check if he’s okay when he knows Virgil might be getting anxious—but it’s hard to tell from this distance.

“My brother, Virgil, and I thought we’d kick things off with an original song. How’s that sound, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals?”  There’s louder cheering, and the two of them waste no time starting a song that Patton remembers from previous concerts of theirs he’d attended.

…

November. Junior Year.

Patton’s phone dings while he’s eating lunch in the student union and flipping through an education textbook to study for his quiz tomorrow on Vygotsky’s Zone of Proximal Development. Exams are quickly approaching, and Patton had always struggled to remember theorists’ names for some reason.

It’s a text from Roman. Is V with you?

Patton frowns and types back quickly. No. It’s Tuesday. Then he sends a second text. Why?

The student union is bustling with students breezing through to grab lunch before rushing off to the library or their class. Groups are clustered around tables to hash out the details of final projects as their deadlines approach in the next week or two. Exhausted English majors slump over their stale coffee cups and computers as they edit their final paper for the eighth time. Engineering students running on caffeine and spite chug another energy drink before hurrying off to the lab building. A couple others that Patton can see are watching Netflix in a desperate attempt to give themselves a break before plunging back into the grind of end-of-the-semester assignments.

Roman’s reply comes almost immediately. He sent me a single letter text which usually means he’s freaking out but idek where he is

Patton stands up and forgets his half-eaten sandwich, dropping it in the compost bin as he slings his backpack over his shoulder and hurries out of the building. Have you tried calling him?  He texts quickly.

R: Yeah. No response… just lemme know if you see him or if he texts you or something ok

Patton rolls his eyes. As if he’s just going to go about his day and not try to help. Especially if V might be freaking out. We’ll find him, Roman. You check the science center and I’ll check the music floor of Stokes Hall.

R: ok.

R: Thanks

Patton turns his ringer on at full volume and braces against the cold air as he hurries to the building beside the Student Union. The November air is biting. Students bustle with their noses tucked into their scarves and red fingers curled around coffee cups. There was no snow on the ground, but the grass still crunches under Patton’s shoes as he hurries across the quad towards Stokes Hall. His light blue beanie is pulled low over his light brown hair.

He’s wishing he had a scarf to hide his nose in—instead opting to try to tuck it into the sleeves of the sweatshirt tied around his shoulders—when he walks straight into someone.

“Shit! I’m so sorry—”

“Virgil?” Patton asks, immediately recognizing the voice. He looks up, and Virgil seems frozen for a moment. It only takes Patton a second to realize that his eyes are red and sunken slightly. His usual sweep of hair is a disheveled mess under the hood of his sweatshirt that engulfs his frame.

If Patton’s being honest, he looks… rough. Concern twists in Patton’s chest.

“I’m so sorry, Patton. I’m an idiot, I just wasn’t watching where—”

“Hey, it’s all good, Virge,” Patton says, quickly but sincerely. He places his hands on Virgil’s shoulder to anchor him. “Breathe.”

Virgil laughs but it’s humorless and shrugs out from under his grip. Patton frowns. “I’m fine. I know I look like a mess, but really. It’s fine now. I was just. Um. Coming outside for some air.”

Patton considers the deflection and decides to meet Virgil half-way. “I could use some too.”

“You don’t have to do that—”

“Honest, V. The cold air is kind of nice.” Patton slips his phone out of his pocket and sends a quick text to Roman. Got him. He offers a small, reassuring smile to Virgil.“ You wanna take a seat?”

Virgil meets his gaze, then glances away. He seems to think about it for a moment, then relents with a slight sag to his shoulders. “Sure. Fine.”

Patton wanders over to a bench across the pathway and takes a seat. He looks around as students rush quickly towards their classes, smiling brightly as a service dog trots dutifully beside his owner and pushes the button to open the door as the student hurries inside. He intentionally keeps his gaze from lingering on Virgil, even as he hesitates before sitting beside him.

Virgil waits until most of the students have rushed off before breaking the silence between them. “You aren’t going to ask?”

Patton glances over at him. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and you seemed reluctant to talk about it…. Should I ask?”

“No. Yes?” Virgil groans, zipping up his hoodie against the chilly air. “It wasn’t anything like. That bad. Y’know? I just get… anxiety attacks sometimes, and sometimes they get…” He trails off. Patton senses more than sees the way Virgil glances quickly at him. “Anyway. I’m fine now.”

Patton isn’t sure what to say. He’d known for a long time now that Virgil struggled with anxiety. That Virgil had anxiety attacks doesn’t exactly surprise him, and it definitely isn’t off-putting or anything of the sort. But Patton hates the way Virgil keeps trying to deflect… something. Judgement. Concern. Patton suddenly and fiercely wishes Virgil would just let someone care about him. Let someone love him.

Patton thinks maybe he already does.

“Virgil….” Patton says softly, looking at his hands folded between his knees, “It’s okay. You know that, right? You can talk to me about it. And I’m not gonna judge you or think you’re weird or that there’s anything wrong with you.”

“I… I’m fine.”

Patton lifts a shoulder. “Okay. But… it’s okay if you aren’t, too. And either way… you’re definitely not alone. You know? You know Roman’s there for you, but… but I am too. I care about you.”

In his peripheral, he sees Virgil look at him. “Patton—”

“There you guys are!” Roman exclaims as he jogs up to the two of them. Patton smiles at Virgil—who looks, for all the world, like the ground has shifted underneath him.

Patton wants to ask him why. He never does.

…

Present.

SANDERS has played through five songs, which means they’re nearing the end of their set. Patton is beaming. Virgil and Roman play off each other so well, and their music seems to be a blend of both of them in a way. They balance each other on stage. They’re fun to watch. Patton can’t help but think, though he may be biased, that if they really wanted to… they could make a career out of it.

But then they do something that surprises Patton, and apparently everyone else too from the way the crowd starts to murmur.

Virgil trades out his electric guitar for his light brown acoustic one. Roman grabs a wooden stool from one of the wings and sets it in the middle of the stage. Virgil adjusts the strap of the guitar around his shoulders, nodding his thanks to Roman.

“So I hope you all don’t mind if we close out with something a little different than our usual pace,” Virgil is saying into the wireless mic attached to him. “But I lost a bet against Roman, and that means I gotta do this.”

“If I lost I was gonna have to wear jorts for this concert. You all should be thanking me,” Roman quips back through his own mic. There’s a chuckle from Virgil as well as the crowd.

“Yeah, well. This is a song I wrote over the course of… probably about a year. It’s about someone very… important to me. He couldn’t be here tonight, but… he’s pretty great. Anyway, it’s a little different, so uh.” Even under the stage lights, Patton thinks he can see Virgil flushing slightly. “I hope you all like it.”

Virgil starts strumming and all Patton can do is watch him, transfixed by the sound of an acoustic guitar and the sight of Virgil under a spotlight on stage. It’s a much softer song already than any other song in their entire set. Virgil ducks his head slightly, his black sneaker tapping out the ¾ meter. And then Virgil starts to sing.

“When I was younger I saw my daddy cry, and curse at the wind.

He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.

And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget.

And that was the day that I promised I’d never sing of love if it does not exist.

But darlin’ you are the only exception. You are the only exception…”

As Virgil sings, Patton can’t help but feel rooted to the spot. Virgil sitting and playing his acoustic guitar reminds Patton suddenly of that moment again back in Virgil’s dorm room. That moment of honesty and openness from him that always felt so rare. Patton feels like he’s experiencing that again, despite the crowd and the spotlights. Because this is not performance-Virgil, this is just…. Virgil. At his most honest. At his mot exposed. And it’s breathtaking.

Patton doesn’t even fully realize that he’s moving closer to the stage until he almost trips over a girl that’s swaying and holding her phone with a flashlight up in the air.

Virgil breaks into the second verse, and Patton feels his stomach fluttering all over again at the sound of his voice.

“Well maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts.

And we’ve got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face.

And I’ve always lived like this. Keeping a comfortable distance.

And up until now I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness,

‘Cuz none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception. You are the only exception…”

And a part of Patton—a part he’s afraid to admit to—suddenly starts to grow insistent with the realization that he might be really, truly, unequivocally in love with the person singing on the stage in this moment. The one with his bangs falling into eyes that had always looked to Patton to be a little bit afraid and a lot brave.

This song, this moment, is no exception to that. Music, for Virgil, had always started from some place deeply personal. It is what allows him to connect to others, after all. And Patton doesn’t know if the song is about him, but he wants it to be. Because that deeply personal space that Virgil is singing from resonates with Patton in a way that leaves only one thought repeating in his head. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Almost as if he hears the thought itself, Virgil looks up and starts scanning the crowd again as he reaches the bridge.

“I’ve got a tight grip on reality  

But I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here.” He’s scanning, scanning, scanning…

“I know you’re leaving in the morning. When you wake up,

Leave me with some kind of proof it’s not a dream. Oh…”

And then his eyes settle squarely on Patton, and Patton swears he hears the very faint catch of Virgil’s breath through the mic.

Patton gives him a small, faint smile. There’s a brief moment where uncertainty flickers through Virgil’s dark eyes, and then something sets firmly in them. As if he’s made some kind of split-second decision. Virgil stands up from the stool and starts making his way towards the stage stairs, continuing to play and sing as he does so.

“You are the only exception. You are the only exception….”

Patton loses sight of him as he steps down to ground level, the crowd blocking his view. But Virgil keeps singing that line over and over, you are the only exception, as if imploring Patton to hear it and understand it and know it is meant for him. As if perhaps Virgil has to repeat it himself to fully believe in its truth, but each time he sings it, Patton can hear the conviction growing. Far ahead of him, Patton can see people shifting around in the mosh pit in front of him.

Patton doesn’t move. He doesn’t think he knows how to.

And then through the crowd of people in front of him steps Virgil, still playing. Still singing. And Patton can’t help but notice his eyes look wide and scared and vulnerable—but unwavering—as he sings the final line.

“But I’m on my way to believing…”

He plays the final chord and stands there, looking up at Patton. He’s so close. The guitar and a few inches is all that separates them. Patton swallows past the lump in his throat and brings a hand up to cup Virgil’s jaw before leaning his forehead against Virgil’s and whispering.

“Can I kiss you?”

His eyes are closed, so he doesn’t see Virgil’s relieved, crooked grin. But he feels it when Virgil presses his lips to his own.

[vantekay]

one for the books ||kth

word count: 2.6k

genre(s): loads of fluff, shy library worker tae, college au, roommate and best friend guk makes an appearance (he’s also your personal hype man), slightly strangers to lovers? or maybe strangers to crushes would be more fitting anyways tae and reader know each other and have a lot of those cliche embarrassing encounters and the reader is completely oblivious to tae’s feelings, that’s basically all it is 

warning(s): not sure this is really a warning but I know some people don’t like it so towards the middle there is a mention of jungkook v*m-ing as a joke but if that’s not something you like then here is the warning! and as usual some cursing but nothing too intense

this was inspired by this textpost written by @himawaritae! they have amazing tae scenarios that they post and you can use :) it’s awesome and I want to say thank you for sharing your amazing scenario ideas with the world. I hope I did this one justice!

also I will most likely make a part 2 to this? probably I mean I sort of set it up that way so we will see anyways I really hope you guys like it

you smile, a soft hum vibrating in the back of your throat as you plop yourself into the soft bean bag chairs that decorate the back of the library. you place your book bag next to you and begin to take out your notes and textbook to begin studying from. finals were coming up soon and you had tried to study back at your dorm with very little success, landing you here in the empty library.

your best friend and roommate jungkook had repeatedly told you that it would be impossible for you to retain any of the information you were attempting to study in your shared dorm. it was impossible because jungkook had decided he was going to invite some of his friends over to your room for a “study session” you knew would just turn into them playing video games in the lounge space just outside of your dorm room that your university had. since jungkook knew that was how this night was going to end, he suggested you take advantage of the library just down the street from campus that not many students ever visited. after having thanked him and praised him like the god he was (not) and reminding him not to be too noisy so they didn’t get a noise complaint from the other students on your floor, you hauled yourself and all of your belongings to the library with a smile on your face at the thought of actually being able to concentrate and study.

when you walked in, the cute blonde boy who you know to be kim taehyung, greeted you with his signature boxy smile as he gave you a polite wave. you had smiled back at him, flashing him your student ID even though he was very aware of who you were and knew you weren't some random girl off the street who had wanted to take advantage of the space the library provided. it had happened before, hence the new student ID rule, and when he gave you a thumbs up followed by a sleepy grin you retreated to a spot in the back of the library with a slight blush on your cheeks.

it’s been a couple hours now since you walked into the library and you don’t remember when but at some point your eyes started to get droopy and the words in your textbook stopped making sense long ago. your hand had lost all grip on the pencil you once wielded to take notes and has now landed in between you and the bean bag as you head lolls back.

you’ve been asleep for what feels like ten minutes but has really been 3 hours, and now at midnight taehyung has to come around and make sure everyone has left the library. that’s when he sees you, passed out in the bean bag chair. your books have fallen off of your lap and now rest on the floor near your feet. your arms are wrapped around your form for warmth as the library is a bit colder than expected and your head rests uncomfortably on the back of the cushion. taehyung stifles a laugh, and his grin stretches from each cheek as he gazes at you.

after a few moments he remembers what he came back here to do and slowly steps towards your sleeping form. with a cautious hand, he reaches for your shoulder and gives you a light shake. when that doesn’t do anything to rouse you, he tries to shake you with a bit more force and calls out your name. you shift your body and your eyes open slowly, a confused look overtaking your features as you look around you at your surroundings, not being able to recall when you fell asleep.

now that you’re awake, taehyung takes a couple steps back and if you weren’t just waking up from a sleep with hazy thoughts, the blush that overtakes taehyung’s features would have registered but it doesn’t and for that he is thankful.

“um,” he rubs the back of his neck nervously as his cheeks turn an even darker shade of rose. “I have to close the library now, I’m sorry” he looks down at you with sincere eyes. he’s not sure how long you slept for but if the lines that have formed on your arms from the bean bag are anything to go by his guess would be that you fell asleep not long after arriving.

“that’s okay! it’s not like it’s your rule” you laugh as you stand to collect your books. taehyung crouches down to help you and you smile at him as a way of saying thank you. after you have everything packed up, you awkwardly stand and stare at each other for a minute and your brain finally processes the blush that has not left taehyung’s cheeks since he woke you up. his flushed face and shy smile he keeps flashing at you makes your stomach erupt in butterflies and a blush of your own climbs its way up and over your cheeks.

“I should be going now. I can almost guarantee you’ll see me back here again though. my roommate is noisy and makes it impossible for me to do anything” you giggle and taehyung feels his heart skip a beat at the sound.

“I’ll be waiting for you” he says smoothly even though his heart was beating out of his chest and he was almost positive you could hear it. he sees that his words effectively make you blush harder and he smiles. after that he leads you out of the library and you both walk back to your dorms. to your surprise, taehyung lived in the same complex that you did just on a different floor. when it’s his turn to get off, because he lives on a lower floor than you, you say your goodbyes before the doors close and your left alone in the elevator until you reach your floor.

“what the hell is that?” jungkook asks when you walk into your shared room. he was sat as his desk doing some work on his laptop but he turned around when he heard the door to your room unlock.

“what the hell is what?” you ask as you place your bag down at the foot of your bed and plop down on it on your back, a smile never leaving your lips at the thought of taehyung and your interactions with him tonight.

jungkook gets up and sits next to you on your bed. “this” he says as he pokes your face near your lips. you sit up and stare at him.

“what I can’t be happy?” you ask, pretending to be hurt by his comment but you simply cannot keep the smile off of your face. jungkook pretends to gag at your happiness.

“don’t tell me you’re...in love” he says as he continues to pretend to feel sick by your emotions, the back of his hand coming up to cover his mouth like he is about to spew chunks all over. as if he wasn’t already over-exaggerating enough, he puts space between you and him on your bed. you roll your eyes at his actions and you have to hold yourself back from pushing off of your bed and onto the floor.

“I am not-” you have to turn your head because looking at jungkook and having him interrogate you about your blooming crush on the boy you saw minutes ago is causing you to become flustered all over again. jungkook looks at you with a shocked face when you turn around to look at him again.

“oh my god you are! who is it? you have to tell me everything” his attitude changes completely from the fake disgusted act he was putting on and now he lays on your bed with his hands propping his face up and his legs kicking in the air behind him like a teenage girl. you giggle at his actions and hit him in the head with your pillow.

“stop that, we aren’t in middle school anymore and it’s not even that serious” you say but not even you believe that statement, and with the blush that is beginning to completely overtake your face jungkook knows that too. he smiles at you until he realizes where you were tonight and he sits up quickly.

“wait a minute- it’s taehyung isn’t it? it’s taehyung that’s got you looking and acting like a lovesick highschool girl” he says accusingly, a finger pointing itself at you and you lean forward with your mouth open like you’re going to bite his finger before he quickly pulls it back to his chest with his other hand.

“and what if it is?” you ask with a quirk to your brows, arms crossed over your chest and jungkook just smiles at you.

“I can help you”

it’s the next day during a break in between classes when you see taehyung again. you and jungkook sit at your usual spot at the back of the cafe just down the street from your dorm when he suddenly kicks your feet under the table.

“ow! what the fuck jungkook?” you whisper yell at him, leaning forward onto the table to put your head down in pain before you kick him back in retaliation.

“look up you dummy!” he says through his teeth as he kicks you back, to which you whip your head up to look at him with a glare that most definitely could kill. he ignores your burning gaze and leans forward into the table as well so your faces are closer. “taehyung is here” he informs you and this causes the glare your eyes once held to immediately be replaced with something else that jungkook can’t quite pinpoint.

you quickly put your hands around your face and look at the man across from you. “is he looking this way?” you ask in a whisper, your eyes dart from side to side in shock and fear of being seen.

jungkook rolls his eyes at your behavior and pries your hands away from your face. you look at him incredulously before he tells you very plainly “you look like a dumb ass, and he’s kind of just looking everywhere, like he’s looking for somebody” he says as he looks back at taehyung who’s searching the crowd with squinted eyes. he holds something in his right hand that jungkook can’t really make out from his seat.

after a good 10 minutes of taehyung standing at the entrance of the cafe still searching, jungkook connects the dots and assumes he must be looking for you. jungkook excuses himself to go get something to drink but what you miss is the mischievous grin he shoots your way before he gets up from the booth and saunters his way towards taehyung.

“hey man! looking for someone?” jungkook asks as he approaches the blonde. taehyung takes a second to register the voice of his friend but once he does he offers him his signature smile.

“yeah actually... how did you know?” taehyung asks with a quirk of his brow and jungkook smiles before looking back at the table where you sit.

“I saw you walk in and just stand here for the past 10 minutes. are you looking for y/n by any chance?” jungkook pushes further, knowing the answer already and as if to confirm his thoughts taehyung breaks out into a shy smile and a blush begins blooming up his neck.

“ah yeah…” he trails off, his hand that isn’t holding the object jungkook noticed earlier is coming up to rub at the back of his neck shyly. “she left something in the library last night and I just wanted to give it back to her” taehyung tells jungkook, finally lifting his head and making eye contact with him and the younger just flashes him a knowing smile.

“you should go give it to her now, I’m going to the bathroom anyways so she’s all by herself at the table” jungkook smirks and before taehyung can say anything, he’s pushing him in the direction of where you sit and then running back to retreat to the bathrooms.

taehyung awkwardly walks up to you and clears his throat to get your attention. you turn to look at him with wide eyes, you were expecting for it to be jungkook standing there with a dumb grin on his face. taehyung offers you his gorgeous boxy smile before he extends his hand towards you. you look down at his hand confused before you see your pencil in his outstretched palm.

“you uh, you left this in your chair last night. it must have rolled from your notebook when you fell asleep” taehyung tells you as you go to reach for the pencil from him. he has a blush spreading over his cheeks at the slight brush of your fingertips against his palm and you would be lying if you said it didn’t send a whirlwind of butterflies off in your stomach either.

“thank you for bringing this back to me” you say genuinely as you look up to make eye contact with the blonde, a smile on your face. “this is my favorite one and I would have been really sad later when I went to look for it and couldn’t find it” you now look down to the pencil in your hand with a pout on your lips. the thought of you running around the apartment looking for it like a madman while jungkook would sit and tell you it’s ‘just a pencil’ making a small smile perk your lips up.

“so cute” taehyung says under his breath. your head whips up so fast he thinks you might give yourself whiplash and he’s about to ask what caused you to look up at him like that when he realizes he just said something and he must have said it out loud instead of to himself like he meant. his eyes widen to the size of planets as he brings a hand up to cover his mouth, shock and fear written all over his facial features.

“I...I did not mean to say that out loud. I’m so sorry” taehyung is rushing his words and before you can tell him that it’s okay, he’s waving a hand at you as he rushes out of the cafe. you sit at the table dumbfounded, looking from the pencil in your hand back to the door taehyung just darted out of and a sense of disappointment fills your conscious. you’re so concerned with taehyung and what events just transpired between the two of you that you don’t see your best friend sauntering his way back to the table with a smug smile on his face.

“so how did it go with- why do you look like that?” jungkook sounds confused as he takes his seat across from you again and watches the way you look from the door to the pencil in your hand and then finally to him.

“taehyung called me cute and then got flustered and ran away…” you say, your voice is quiet and has a lilt of hurt to it that jungkook doesn’t miss.

“why do you sound so disappointed? he was obviously just embarrassed” he tries to reason with you but you can’t stop thinking about the way he ran out. 

“it’s obvious he’s in love with you, dumb ass. why else would he run away like that after calling you cute to your face?” jungkook presses more, his face resting in his hands as he gives you a knowing look and you try to reason with yourself and tell yourself he’s right but for some reason you can’t help but feel that maybe taehyung didn’t mean it.

“maybe...anyways let’s head back home. I have more studying to do” you say as you get up and begin packing up your things and throwing away your trash. jungkook just shakes his head, wondering how you could be so oblivious to what was right in front of you.

[tommyparkerr]

Not so Scary | Peter Parker x Reader

I got another request done! Now I just have one left from the prompt list I posted AGES ago and two in my inbox! I’m really excited to write them, but don’t be expecting them to come out anytime real soon...I’m uber busy, loves. But I’ll write whenever I can!!

Requested by @hollandandi : “hey! here’s a request for your plane ride! maybe something along the lines of peter or tom coming home late from a mission/work and you’ve been up watching scary movies for hours with Tess - when he gets home, you are so on edge from the films that you grab something to protect yourself (like a lamp) and hide behind the door, ready to pounce? lol something like that? maybe you even hit him accidentally and then take care of him? something fluffy! thanks and have a safe flight🧠💓”

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: Mentions of blood, F L U F F

-Masterlist-

N O T S O S C A R Y :

You’d been home alone all day. Peter had said something about Mr. Stark needing him for a mission of some sorts, and he assured you that it wasn’t anything too dangerous and that he’d be careful before leaving, but you were still anxious. Tony rarely, if ever, called Peter to help with a mission unless he absolutely had to, so either he had been lying when he told Peter it wasn’t that dangerous or Peter was lying when he told you Tony had said such a thing; you didn’t particularly like either side of that coin.

Obviously you were racked with worry and stress as soon as Peter was gone, so what did you do? You had a marathon of horror films.

Not the smartest idea you’d ever had. But then again, you usually left the smarts to Peter.

It was dark out now. Peter still hadn’t returned home and your nerves had risen to an insane state. Your hands were nearly trembling as they clutched Captain. Captain didn’t seem to mind, though, as she seemed just as scared and desperate for comfort as you—she’d been watching the films with you. The white ball of fluff whined and barked when you cuddled her closer in anticipation of the next scene, almost as if she could sense what was coming too.

Within the silence you heard a scratch resonate from your bedroom, followed closely by a slow screech. Captain looked nervous, and that alone was enough for you to pause the movie, hop up, and grab the nearest object to you to use as a weapon—which just so happened to be the only lamp in your apartment. But you doubted Peter would mind if you broke it saving yourself.

Slowly you and Captain crept to the bedroom door and waited. Blood was pumping through your veins, the sound of it rushing through your ears and blocking out all other noise. A shadow walked out just as you got close to the room and you faintly heard Captain barking as you reached up and swung the lamp over the top of the figure.

There was a heavy thud as it hit its mark and then a groan. Captain was going crazy now, jumping up and down but sticking to your side all the same. You went to hit the shadow again but it suddenly caught your hand midair, making you shriek in fright. Captain went for the bite as soon as she heard you scream, attaching her jaw the best she could to the intruder’s leg.

“Ow! Captain, it’s me! C’mon girl, get off now! You don’t have to protect Y/N from me!”

“Peter?” you gasped.

“Who else would it be?” he exclaimed, dropping your wrist.

You set the lamp down and fumbled to find the light switch. When you did, you saw that Peter had already taken the suit off and was currently dressed in a long sleeved shirt and boxers. He had lots of yellowish bruises and blood was caked around his nose, but it was old and dried already, making you thank the heavens once more for Peter’s healing factor.

You practically leaped into his arms, making him stumble.

“I mean, it’s good to see you too, but what’s with the change of heart? Just a few moments ago you were trying to kill me.”

You shook your head and clutched him tighter. “Did I hurt you?” you mumbled.

“No more than I already am,” he chuckled. When you didn’t let go within a few minutes and didn’t look like you were planning to anytime soon, he softly said, “I need to clean up, baby.”

“Yeah, you stink,” you agreed.

His giggle rumbled through his chest. “Then why are you still holding on?”

“Because I was worried,” you admitted. “You never disappear for that long without checking in.”

Peter sighed and brushed his hand over your hair. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to worry you like that. But I’m here now, see? I’m okay.”

You exhaled and nodded, hesitantly stepping out of his grasp. Captain whined and nuzzled against Peter, kind of like she was saying, Sorry for trying to bite your leg off.

“As much as I admire your courage, Cap, you’re gonna have to wait until you’re a little bigger to do any real damage,” Peter cooed, lifting the puppy up and accepting her barrage of kisses. He smiled and handed her to you, giving you both kisses before heading back to take a shower.

You debated waiting right there for him, but you took a look at the bent and broken lamp and winced, knowing you had to have hurt him more than he was willing to admit. You put Captain down and let her follow you into the kitchen where you grabbed an ice pack. You immediately dropped it at the pain that ran up your hand and groaned when you saw the blood running down your palm; the adrenaline from earlier must have been numbing the pain while it lasted.

You picked up the ice pack with your uninjured hand and set it on the counter before going to the sink and running the cold water over your bloody hand. When the blood washed away you were relieved to see that the cuts didn’t look too deep and that no glass shards seemed to have stuck in your skin.

“Hey, Peter?” you yelled when the shower water turned off.

“Yeah?” he called back.

“Can you bring a couple band aids when you come out?”

He didn’t reply after that, and you only had to wait a few moments before he was stumbling out, his hair dripping water on the floor and his clothes sticking to his wet skin. His eyes went wide when he saw the blood smeared on the ice pack and he looked panicky.

“I’m fine, Pete,” you assured him. “It’s just a little blood. I cut myself when I hit you with the lamp.”

He didn’t respond, only turning the sink off, taking your hand, and carefully inspecting it. “Does it hurt?” he quietly asked.

“It stings a little, but that’s it. It’s nothing really. I’m fine.”

He gave you a look before unwrapping the band aids he brought and caringly placing them over the cuts. You kissed his cheek as a thank you before grabbing the forgotten ice pack, rinsing the blood off, and putting it on the back of Peter’s head. He didn’t fight you on this, going with you when you led him back to the living room and cuddled up to him on the couch. He adjusted the both of you until you were comfortably leaning back against his chest and a blanket was keeping your bodies warm. Captain eagerly jumped up when you stopped wiggling and slipped her way into your lap, circling a few times before plopping down.

Peter started to laugh when you pushed play on the remote, letting the eerie music fill the room again. “No wonder you were so jumpy!” You shrugged as you pet the yellow lab in front of you and turned your head to rest over Peter’s heart. The steady thumping calmed you. “You should really stop watching these, Y/N,” he said more quiet this time, his voice concerned.

“They entertain me. Scare me enough to keep me awake.”

“They also make you hit me in the back of the head with our only lamp and cut your hand from the impact.”

“Which is entertaining.”

You could practically hear Peter roll his eyes, but he silenced so you could continue watching the movie anyway. Captain fell asleep, probably as comforted as you by the presence of Peter and your much calmer persona. Pretty soon you started to drift off too, and you turned away from the tv to snuggle further into your boyfriend’s chest. His other hand came around you now, the coldness from the ice pack seeping through your sweatshirt.

“Scare you enough to keep you awake, huh?” Peter teased, rubbing your back.

You hummed, closing your eyes. “S’not so scary when I’m with you,” you mumbled.

Peter held you tighter and kissed your head. “Go to sleep, Y/N. We can spend tomorrow doing whatever you want since I was gone today, but for now, sleep. I love you.”

The words were on the tip of your tongue, the I love you, too, but they never made it past your lips before the world went quiet and you slipped into the darkness awaiting you.

XxX

Permanent Tag: @lemirabitur @my-meant-to-find-blog @jongindeepbreath @tomspideyweb @farfromjustordinary @tomsstarlight @delicately-written @catstielanddeanthedog @tom-holland-and-textposts @spiderman-n @wtfholland @hollandandi

[khodorkovskaya]

18.12.22

im very disturbed by what's happening around me. i feel like im in a dark room and i can only use the walls and the objects around me to guide me. i can only see vague silhouettes of things and i know that i have to move forward. but i feel very lost and confused.

i saw my bestie from london yesterday. and as ive mentioned many times before every time i talk to people my age i get a mini existential crisis. she has a pretty standard london office job and she just got promoted. and it sounds really great and all. but then i thought about what i would do in her situation and i feel like id be completely incapable of doing what she does. id get depressed and think about my purpose too much. and i would feel awkward at the office. she, on the other hand, has always done very well in work environments. she's always had friends at school, most of her friends being from school. and i feel like i was never able to make friends with people who work/study with me and most of my friends come from other areas of my life. i don't know what it is about my personality but i always thrive in non-work environments like i can be the popular person in a group of strangers i met at a party or a random event. and at school i never put any effort into getting to know the people around me. and with my bestie it's the complete opposite. i think it's my superficial side. i can never bridge the gap between meeting a person for the first time or seeing them at school/work/an event and asking them to hang out and becoming close with them.

anyway, the other thing that's been bothering me lately is my relationship with B. there's such a weight in my chest whenever i think about it, it's like a mix of guilt/confusion/uncertainty idk how to explain it. i can't get it out of my mind. it's like a weird itch almost. like there's a wound in my chest that's empty and heavy at the same time and i want to itch it all the time like a mosquito bite. i was thinking about how i should give him a second chance, how it was unfair that i left without explaining anything. i started thinking about how we could go to the cinema or ice skating or maybe even plan a trip to the hot springs some time. and just chill and have fun like before. and maybe he will make an effort this time, maybe he will understand me. he said he will.

i thought about my dream future and what a perfect partner would look like for me. and all i could come up with was that stupid textpost scenario i reblogged a couple of days ago. im a girlboss, a breadwinner, a working gal and he's a househusband who comforts me when i come home. my dream partner has a chill 9-5 or any lowkey low-stress job so that when i come home to him he's relaxed and we never talk about work. and in that scenario B would be great. and that's what i think i want, right?

and i was thinking about B and how maybe all is not lost. and meanwhile he's stopped messaging me. he went to serbia last weekend and i jokingly told my bestie (not the london one, the other one) that i hope that he hooks up with someone there and leaves me alone. and uhhh he hasn't texted me since his serbia trip. i had a very stressful situation last sunday so i texted him panicking and he replied ofc. but since then, nothing. maybe he did move on all of a sudden. but i keep checking my phone every two seconds to see when he's online. but he doesn't message me anymore and the hole in my chest gets worse and worse. i feel addicted to him again.

and i don't know if im doing the right thing. my stepdad said that it's not cool that im leading him on. i haven't told him that ive been texting B and seeing him occasionally. i haven't told anyone bc it's completely absurd and unhealthy and stupid from my side. i am leading him on and i feel horrible about it. but i don't know how i can be honest with myself. if i tell B to fuck off and block him again and tell him that i don't want to be with him, i would be lying. because right now im confused. and yes, i had made my decision when i left, but i feel like i don't have the tools necessary to deal with the consequences of my decision. im in a dark room with no idea where to go or what i should be doing. and it's hurting B and it's hurting me.

i went driving today bc i have my exam soon and i felt like a complete failure bc every time i go driving i cry. i compared myself to my bestie from london again. she would not cry while learning to drive, she would know what to do with B and not lead him on by mistake, and she can make friends at her job. i feel like im behind in life.

[yuckubus]

about your bts textpost, i'm not disrespecting your feelings but you say 'with all the stuff going on' but really nothing new happened, i mean surely as a fan you already knew they were offensive in 2015 and didn't apologize? this isn't new information so i'm confused by the drama on tumblr over it rn when it's been in the open for years. it's not like we just discovered they said racist things recently, it's already been discussed many times over the years. is it like hivemind mentality rn or?

i know you probably have like good intentions to asking this but the, “ i mean surely as a fan you already knew” part doesn’t sit with me so lets just start with i didnt know of their offensive actions in 2015. I was 16 when i decided to fully become a kpop stan, and my knowledge on the social issues behind the idols? non existent. if i were told that loving the idols involved in the mvs and music had shown antiblack, racist, and colorist behavior, i would not have bothered the way that I did back then. I got into bts the summer of 2015, a couple weeks before run. the only things i knew of bts were: their stage names and real names, some of their mvs, they were a south korean boy group, and some of the shows theyve done for v app, ahl, and like two variety shows. that’s it. 

youre confused by the drama on tumblr over it rn when it’s been in the open for years…this entire line tells me youre not black. maybe youre a new stan, idk. antiblack, colorist, racist, antisemitic and other behaviors, do not make it okay to perpetuate no matter the time frame. these behaviors are gross, they will always be gross, and they will never not be gross and disappointing. had i known at 16 that i would idolize people who falsely respect me, but want my time, money, appearance, and attention whilst ignoring the behavior from their fans BUT AT THE SAME TIME chastising fans for simple behavior (like releasing official statements for petty shit like leaking content but you got black fans and artists on twitter defending themselves all the time bc nonblack fans feel it’s their duty to be disgusting and rude if someone so much as looks at bts), I would not have continued bothering with these idols. 

its not like we discovered they said racist things recently… you clearly missed the situation three days ago where someone just, in the year of 2018, pointed out what jimin said back in 2015…like…where were you. 

it’s already been discussed..yes and no. the people who need to discuss it are always conveniently MIA. when it is being discussed amongst fans, nonblack fans and some black fans think they are the ones who get to decide what is important enough to emphasize. it happens every single time, and im not gonna sit here and provide examples when all these black fans exist. go on twitter, do something, you have the power to do so.

is it hivemind mentality? no, it is not. there are people, despite these instances, who will continue to stan bts. that is their choice. we are individuals before we’re anything else which is something some people on here dont understand. bts dont control me, they have no hold over me. I am a person outside of a group of men who dont care about me the way they act like they do, and I, like many lately, have realized that. It is especially disappointing in this time that bts preach about being there for fans and having a whole campaign that is anti bullying or whatever…..but have yet to address their behaviors. don’t speak about it, be about it, and they aren’t. many fans, black and nonblack, have realized this. there is nothing wrong with multiple people deciding to unstan bts; theyre tired of the behavior. 

so, until bts give me atleast 16 reasons to continue stanning them in apa format, 12 point, times new roman type style, im not going to give them my time and energy anymore. STAN LOONA! (also stan n.flying!)

[whattheklance]

Season 7

WoW

Just wow. (be prepared for some satisfaction with a side of disappointed but constructive criticism)

Honestly, storytelling-wise this entire season is easily the strongest as a whole. They certainly delivered in terms of story.

The only oddity to me was the battle in the last episode completely unconnected to the season-long story arc. It felt so out of place, like someone mandated “you can’t end the season without having them combine into voltron at least once”

and like I guessed it was for setting up the next season, but it was SO RANDOM, it jerked my focus away from just watching.

I assumed it was Lotor, but seeing an altean was the power source, I’d say it’s connected to Lotor, just not him, himself.

So overall, the story was excellent and well crafted outside of the last episode.

We did get some good character moments for Hunk, but he still didn’t get much attention outside of a single episode story arc.

Lance too didn’t get much attention, and he didn’t even get a story arc over a single episode. Cast and crew have long been promising some Lance focus, and at this point I feel like calling B-S.

This was a team-centric season that didn’t really have a full arc for any of the characters alone, but that also means characters who’ve been neglected in development up til now, continued to be neglected.

Again, I say, this is the best overall season of the show thus far. I thought season 6 was as good as seasons 1 and 2, and season 7 is easily better than them in that regard.

But it just disappoints me and saddens me that some seriously interesting and lovable characters i.e. Lance and Hunk, haven’t had the same kind of attention as Keith, Shiro, Pidge and Allura. STILL.

With only one season left before the end, I doubt that they could really deliver on either character what I’ve been wanting this whole time. Because in order to deliver what I’ve wanted for the characters, they needed to start hinting at and building potential story arcs for them individually a season ago. Season 7 was their last chance to have enough time to do it justice, and they didn’t.

The only hope of that would be if they extended the run or did some kind of sequel to the series. So in spite of an amazing season, I’m still left feeling lackluster because I was so pumped with promises about Lance and about Hunk.

So even if we do finally get character arcs of them in the last season, I can’t see how it’d be enough time to actually be as good as the character arcs the others have gotten.

The cast and crew need to stop PROMISING things. The way they might see things in the show doesn’t mean the audience will see them the same way. So it leaves them far more vulnerable to disappointing fans by promising certain things, and then angering fans who aren’t satisfied with the outcome based on what they thought the promise meant.

I mean. I suppose this is the best possible way to come to terms with the lack of development for Lance or Hunk, with an excellent story-driven season that did have many good character moments.

But some good character moments spread over 13 episodes doesn’t-a-character-arc-make. Dropping a single episode of backstory flashes doesn’t make a character arc either. If they’d delivered on building up to Hunk rescuing his family over multiple episodes, then HEY that’d be a Hunk-centric character arc. But they didn’t. They never actually focused on him rescuing them beyond gathering intel that it was impossible across a single episode. So it sucks because they actually created an opportunity where they could’ve done it, and then didn’t.

I’ve noticed since season 6 that Lance has increased his leading ability in battles, but that’s about the only place we really see it. Without the same screen time as Keith Shiro or Allura, he gets left in the dust, even if he is starting to make calls and be trusted. It doesn’t mean much when we don’t get to see how that transfers off the battlefield in his relationships with the other characters. Lance had more significant character moments last season than this season. None of his moments this season were as much on the forefront as his moments from last season were.

Okay here’s the part where the juvenile inside of me vents on somethings

HOW DARE THEY KILL ADAM!! NOOOOO SHIRO DOESN’T GET A BREAK. 

It’s like they premiered episode 1 early to get people more attached to Adam than they would be if they went in blind and binged the episodes, so the loss of him would have a bigger impact.

HOW DARE THEY LET US THINK THE PALADINS ARE DEAD FOR THAT LONG.

in this day and age and tv shows trying to be edgy AND this being the season finale. I feared that they could possibly have chosen to seriously kill them off and have those other earth kids take their place for a new season where they’re led by Shiro or something. They’d constructed the season in a way that that seemed possible with those kids as a team in the background. 

And shows like Once Upon a Time did a whole 180 on their show in their final season, making it with entirely new characters. And manga like Attack on Titan did it. So I thought it was possible they’d do it. It’d be shitty and a betrayal of the audience to do such a thing in Voltron. But I was afraid it was possible, especially with how out of sync the last episode was with the first 12.

but they didn’t. and i can breathe a little easier

honestly, no matter how good this season was, I can’t see how they can adequately wrap the story up in 13 more episodes.

well, wrap up the story AND give me the character development I desire.

Okay, now the klance fan in me is coming out.

Because there wasn’t any character development for Lance this season, and no real solid interactions between them outside of the gameshow. I really think it might not happen. I know season 6 made a lot of fans lose hope where I only found lots of hope, but this season. Definitely, hope=lost.

Where did fans get that information going around “Lance is the only one in a relationship at the end and with someone he needs not someone he wants.” Did someone official really say that? Cuz I’ve always seen it floating around, but I don’t know where it comes from.

The lgbt representation they’ve been promising. It honestly feels like Shiro/Adam and the heavy hints of Zethrid/Ezor could be the extent of it. Which are nice. But having a main character in a relationship NOW would be much nicer, or at least in an ATTRACTION. Don’t even have to make it a relationship.

if they do give us allurance, I hope it’s only to show us how incompatible they are as a couple and have them go back to being friends. Like Rachel and Joey on Friends (i feel like I’ve made this exact comparison before)

Honestly I'm kinda hoping that Allura’s blush was aimed at Lance’s sister, cuz Allura/Veronica I’d be SO down for that. The irony of the girl Lance likes falling for his sister. YES give me more. I mean, even if it was to make jabs at Lance, her first comments about Allura was “she’s beautiful.” Like, yes Veronica, tell us more.

even though I talked about how this was the best season, I spent SO MUCH MORE time and energy on my disappointment.

Maybe I should sit on the disappointment for a few days then do a slower rewatch. I talked about this in a previous rewatch textpost about how knowing what happens and watching makes it more enjoyable because you’re not holding all this heavy expectations that you hope will be filled, only to be disappointed. Now that I know exactly what I’m getting, I bet a rewatch will help me get back to all the things I did love about the season to make me think it’s the best season of the bunch.

Cuz i was so like “ROMELLE IS ALL OF US” and Lance splitting up passengers and hating his choice was hilarious, and the excellence that was the stranded in space episode. Acxa in general. i love her forever. I also love Zethrid/Ezor. it’s like if azula/ty lee became a thing with a way more bloodthirsty ty lee.

Hopefully I’ll make more commentary about my quick jots above when I do my rewatch.

PS: Kosmo can’t be his name cuz Keith is still waiting for the dog to tell him his name “when he’s ready” (spoiler: it’s yorak) that’d be awesome if it’d happen and i’d die. If the last word of this series was the dog telling keith his name. that’d make me happy.

[friends-call-me-snow-miser]

for the blog ask game - 1, 4, 10, 12, 13, and 15: do you plan on somehow celebrating the year of bein on tumblr? (also just the upcoming new years :D)

1. Why do you use tumblr?

i had considered making a blog much before last year but never got around to it. one of the reasons i go on tumblr is it’s a social media i can use where i’m a lot less likely to be bombarded with transphobic hate like i was on ig. i don’t use much social media, and other than ig i had mostly used snapchat, but by the time i made this blog there was now trauma associated with it and i’d have an anxiety attack every time i got a notification. i hadn’t heard of discord yet, and tiktok, frankly, scared me. i downloaded the app for a day once and very personally invasive, like my friends talk about it recording their voices when it’s not on or u being on it for 5 minutes and it knows every singe thing about u. also, tiktok crowd is very slightly too young for me. with tumblr, u could make ur own textposts and u could also reblog others’ posts! and it helps their post instead of a repost with credit being the only thing u could do other places. and also, most of the posts i liked on ig were taken from tumblr anyways, so not like i was losing peak comedy from there by coming here

4. What’s your favorite post you’ve made and why?

hmm, i’m gonna answer this in a way that doesn’t conflict with any other questions in the ask game about posts, cuz i have a lot of favorites. i really like mr. frogman a lot. great post by me

10. What’s one lesson you’ve learned while on tumblr?

i think one of the more important ones is watching out for radfem rhetoric, particularly from things that aren’t strictly/obviously terf shit. i see posts sometimes where yeah, looks like they’re uplifting women, but a lot of times it tries to put men down in the process. and im talking about in a “men are inherently evil/bad” type way. also i have tags like terf safe and radfem safe and radfem blocked, so if the original poster put those tags but they weren’t reblogged with the same tags (especially to spread further on tumblr) i can tell

12. How many mutuals do you have?

slightly complicated because here i’m gonna count side-by-side mutuals. these are mutuals where either we follow each other’s side blogs or one of us follows the main and the other follows a side blog. anyways, counting it all up and making sure of no double counts, i’ve currently got 50 mutuals! wow, did not expect that!

13. How did you decide who to follow/what was the first blog you followed?

i think the very first blog i followed on tumblr was gaud, but i don’t necessarily count the popular blogs as first cuz i knew about them before coming to tumblr. the actual first blog i followed was the first one that followed me @/winter-day-in-the-south . They have this cool OC named Wynter to go along with Snow Miser. then i started checking out and following people who liked my posts, first being @/potatolemon (love ya bestie) anyways, pretty early in my time here on tumblr i made a post that has over 1,000 notes, and at some point i could not keep up with it and that was the end of that method. but it also gave me a lot of people to follow, and since it was a post about being ace, i got more cemented into the tumblr ace community

15. [Other questions]

I don’t necessarily plan on celebrating my one year on tumblr outside of tumblr, but i have a post in queue later today for a little celebration (it’s not very exciting or anything tho so don’t put a lot into it lol). for the new year, idk. we’ll probably be at my family’s house, drinking sparkling grape juice, counting down to the new year (as long as i am not in the hospital again. got out just barely before the new year a couple years ago)

[the-thimble]

Sorry, this is a long textpost about my brother and his new girlfriend and I don't like sharing people's business on my public social media but I wanted to express somewhere about how wholesome he is.

My little brother (we're half siblings with the same father) is 15 now and he is so wholesome. He has had social issues for most of his life and tends to hyper focus on things he's interested in. He is 6'3" at 15 and is really nice and polite, but he doesn't really like small talk, he just wants to get to the point about things he's interested in. So he snapped me a picture of this girl he likes from his classes and told me he was too nervous to talk to her. He zoomed in on her face from across his classroom and was like "kathryne she's so pretty I don't know what to do, my heart hurts and I feel like I'm going to throw up". I told him to respect her boundaries and that she might not feel the same way, but to be her friend for now and gauge her interests to see if he just thinks she's pretty or if he would actually like spending time with her. He told me that was a good idea because he doesn't like most people anyway and that she might be pretty, but being pretty doesn't always mean that someone is nice. (like wow, you're 15, why are you so wise?)

That was a couple of weeks ago. A week ago he snapped me a picture of them holding hands and he was like, "she is my best friend, I take her to get food a lot but she still makes me feel nervous, how do I keep my hands from getting sweaty? Do you think she will like the science museum? I want to show her how cool marine biology is." I told him to just keep talking to her about things he likes and to get back to me about things she likes and dislikes and to focus on that for now. I also told him that feeding her is probably really appreciated. He told me she dances when she eats good food and snapped me videos of her dancing. He sends me videos of him singing songs he wrote for her and asks me if I like the songs he writes and the playlists that he gives her before he sends them her way.

A few days later, he told me about all of the things she likes and dislikes. Apparently, he wanted to get to know her family, so he offered to cook for all of them. He asked her dad to help him and when her dad said he didn't know how to cook very well, Cameron asked him why. Her dad apparently thinks that cooking is for women. Cameron replied, "Well if the apocalypse comes and you're left on your own, you have to know how to cook or you'll die. They already know how to cook and find food, so they'll be fine if we die. We should be thankful they're giving us the opportunity to be independent. Come cook with me so we can talk and the girls can go do something fun while I get to know you."Lmfao. Her dad didn't know what to say so he just started helping. He told me his mom chaperones some of their dates but that he doesn't mind because his (now) girlfriend and his mother get along really well and he's just happy listening to them talk and walking around places with them. He told me he is happy just being in her presence and is happy that she lets him know when she wants time to herself so he can get back to having some time to be introverted as well.

A few nights ago, he called me somewhat panicked. They had gone to a party together. He doesn't drink because he says it makes him a little too talkative, but she drank a little too much. When he called me he told me he didn't think her dad would let them date anymore. I was concerned and was about to get on to him, but he told me that he brought her back to her home and talked to her dad about it and apologized for her being drunk but let him know he was sober and wanted to get her home safe before anything happened. She was upset with him, and her dad was upset as well obviously. He was crying and asking me if I had ever been in that situation and what happened. I told him that I had, but that I didn't have anyone watching out for me. I told him I was proud of him and that if her dad wouldn't trust him with her after that that he would have to accept it, but that he did everything the right way. I told him that it is normal to make mistakes, but it's how one handles them that makes them the person that they are. Her dad called him the next day once he had calmed down and called cameron over to shake his hand. Cameron told me that after that, he sat her dad down to go over a plan with him incase this happened in the future so that he could be sure everything went safely. He gave her dad his phone number incase he ever needed to call him and told him that he would do his best to avoid parties like this, but that incase it was unavoidable, he wanted to have a parents number because he "knows that young people sometimes make decisions that they don't think through at the time and it's better to be safe than sorry."

I cannot tell you how proud I am that my little brother is growing into the man that he is. I wish that teenage me would have been this responsible. I wish that I hadn't cared what other people thought of me so much. But that's the thing, the way he sees the world is a little bit different, but good people are good people. Not being able to socialize "normally" has let him breech barriers (that most people don't ever learn to breech) so that he can get past what people do "normally" and be the best person he can be exactly and unapologetically who he is.

[astrofireworks]

im thinking about making a astro sideblog, what are some content creators that you would rec in the fandom? and are there any good fansites (twitters?) that post downloadable videos of astro for giffing?

ayo i did a follow forever a couple weeks ago but here are the content creators i really really love: 

@asterocky (g’s been here literally forever her gifs are a+ her textposts are 10000% relatable and she was one of the first few astro blogs i followed when i made my own sideblog)

@leedeermin (also one of the first few blogs i followed, has the funniest shitposts and great edits)

@jinwoostro (listen lanna’s edits make me want to quit the fandom they’re hilarious i can’t stop laughing whenever she posts them)

@parkjinchu @jinwoosmile @vonseal (for fics that will either make you cry or make your teeth fall out, depending on your preference, but i’ve read everything they’ve posted at least twice i love) 

and @ongwu (mare just makes all around great content fics gifs everything lksdjahfa she’s made me cry more times than i can count also she loves dropping photos of astro on me in the middle of the day when i least expect it) 

also @moon-hyuks (ani’s shitposts are the most hilarious and her posts are so relatable i would tag nearly all of them “mood” if i could)

also the update blogs: @astrodaily @arohauniverse @park-squared and the one i check religiously is @dailybinu (it’s probably the one of the few tabs i never close thanks for ruining my life mare)

i’m pretty sure there are more but these are really off the top of my head there are definitely more i’m missing i’d go through this list if you want blogs to follow! what i usually do is when a gif or a fic or a good shitpost floats by on my dash i’d click through to the original poster and check out their blog before deciding!!

unfortunately i can’t really help you with videos and stuff for giffing because i don’t really gif, but i’d ask @asterocky or @ongwu! i’d generally say anything from any official astro account like their twitter or vlive is fair game but you might wanna check with them i’m sure they’ll know more!!

[rachel-bloom]

Can I just say that I'm really glad you're enjoying Game of Thrones? Hate to bring this up, but I remember how you used to dislike it so much. Do you feel silly about that now?

well no i don’t feel silly about it lol i went in not knowing what was gonna happen in general and dany immediately got raped and i can’t see shit like this i immediately got triggered and stopped watching. i still don’t like how some of the females get treated on this show but i have a rape list so i can skip these scenes. and then i found a textpost a couple of days ago (don’t remember how to find it anymore) on what happened behind the scenes with some cast members, really gross lol. but i try to just enjoy the show for its’ story and their awesome actors/actresses.

[thecurtainscalling]

25.02.2020 update

So! Stuff has happened, and obviously I had forgotten this blog existed.

I’m currently on vacation, and today I have found and recognized what is called my mixed voice. I have certainly sung in mix before, but I just never really realized I did so, and tried being more chesty (totally straining my vocal chords), or switching to falsetto, because I thought I could only exist in either of the two. I’m super relieved I have understood the difference between those three kinds of singing - I feel like I’m WAYS too late, considering Enrico had taught me how to exercise it with the “meows” in August already, and I am only now understanding what he meant - and it’s only four weeks until my first audition, wow. But like I said, I’m on vacation right now and that means I have plenty of time to exercise.

Yesterday I practised my pas de bourrée turns, the one Doris showed me at our last auditon training. Unfortunately the one we had planned for last sunday was cancelled, so I am only stuck on working with what we said weeks ago, but I’m not satisfied with my progress on that just yet, so I hope we ditch this.

The first audition I’m going to is the one for Sunrise Studios. Both Tina and Eli Vieider have told me that the lessons there are quite bad, so I’m definitely not gonna study there, so it’s basically useless and thrown out money, but audition practise is audition practise - and Luki’s coming with me to Vienna, which is lovely, so I’m positively looking forward to this weekend.

I’m trying to push through my schedule after the holidays, because I can immediately see positive progress when I’m singing every day. I really want to make it part of my daily routine to just do these 15 minutes of vocal warm-up, that doesn’t cost me anything! And on Monday I’ll try to do a work-out at school after choir, I’d be so proud of myself if I managed to do that at least a few times before the school year ends. It’s not long, but it’ll show so much progress in a short time, I’m sure about that. I’m really trying to pull a full-on Rachel Berry for the rest of the year, because DANG IT, this is the time when I need to do it, and not after I’ve finished school and am trying to get into a musical theatre school. On Tuesday 15 minutes of vocal warm-up between school and MurX, on Wednesday before I leave for Arabesque, on Thursday directly after school and on Friday before I leave for Arabesque, too. And during the weekends maybe in the morning or Sunday evening... there’s a small time window every day, and it would bring me so much further.

Idk how many times I already started to consider it, but I need to finally start watching what I eat. I know, it’s doomed to fail, but if I need 500 attempts, it’ll take 500 attempts. I made a small step by eating dinner before Arabesque, so that I have enough energy, and pushing my sugar by eating fruit beforehand, and I’m drinking a lot of water. But I need to cut the random snacks throughout my day and the extensive gipfele or tuna sandwich at break, or the overeating at mensa or at home... but I’m sure as soon as winter’s over, it’s gonna get easier.

I also managed to get into the habit of staying for two hours at Arabesque. That’s literally such a small effort, but makes me feel so much better and more trained that I’m wondering why I didn’t start this earlier. I’m always in between “wow, this is cool, I never managed to do a fouetté this elegantly!!” and “why do i even want to study this i suck”, but that’s normal - and I simply have got to get into the habit of always activating my muscles when dancing and singing. Never having done serious sports, this is also something I am late in, but am just glad I have realized - and I’m eager to work on.

Alright, so we got me understanding everything I have to do - I just need to put it into practise! :D

Another thing, not really musical theatre related, but still important: I met Christina Khuen today, and she told me that my wage for two months of playing theatre is going to be 1.800€ - which is CRAZYYY OMG I expected not really more than 1k€. That is so fucking sick, and I immediately decided to take that money to go on a couchsurfing trip to NYC, because seeing Mimi and so many other guys there and just on vacation makes my Wanderlust go crazy. The problem is, I’d go there after the theatre, so in November, and it’s gonna be pretty cold-ass there, and I’d have nobody to take with me. Luki’s about to blow all his remaining money up in September in going on a trip with Judith, and then he’s also busy with his music again, and I don’t really know who can just go and make a trip to NY in the beginning of November, everyone’s either studying or working. But let’s just see, I bet I’m shaking my head and rolling my eyes when re-reading this in just a couple months, because my plans will have changed drastically. But it’s fun to dream, for now, hehe.

I think that was it - let’s see where I’m at at the next textpost. Cheers!

[tommyparkerr]

I was tagged by the lovely @casuallytumblingdownthestairs!💕

Rules: Tag 10 mutuals you’d like to get to know better! (Note: I probably won’t tag that many because it’s 3am and my brain isn’t working well enough to think of 10)

Name: According to my main blog’s url, it’s Aubrey! (And to my birth certificate too, so that’s pretty neat)

Star Sign: Pisces ♓️

Height: 5’3.5

Put your iTunes or Spotify on shuffle. What are the first four songs that pop up?

1. My Fault // Imagine Dragons

2. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart // Elton John

3. Something Just Like This // The Chainsmokers

4. Social Casualty // 5SOS

Have you ever had a poem or song written about you? Not to my knowledge ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When was the last time you played guitar? I think the last time I tried was a couple weeks ago? I’ve had one in my closet for years but no teacher so it really doesn’t do me any good

Who is your celebrity crush? I’m turning this into crushes sooooo...Tom Holland (of course) and Shawn Mendes! ❤️

What’s a sound you hate and a sound you love? I HATE the sound of cardboard flaps rubbing against each other and broken pencil tips dragging across a piece of paper, but I LOVE the sound of storms and wind chimes!

Do you believe in ghosts? No, but I do believe in guardian angels!

How bout aliens? Oh, I’m sure there’s some life form out there other than us

Do you drive? Yes, for about three and a half years now

What was the last book you read? Well, for school I’m reading 1984 by George Orwell and man, that’s a good one. But personally/on my own time, it would be Queen of Shadows by Sarah J. Maas (LOVE)! (I’m currently on Empire of Storms though!)

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Okay, so I’ve never broken or sprained anything, but I did have a ruptured eardrum last winter and I lost some hearing in my right ear because of it so that’s probably it

Do you have any obsession right now? YES. As always, Marvel and Tom Holland (duh). Then we move into Shawn Mendes, 5SOS, and also the PS4 Spider-Man video game :))

Do you try to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? No, I don’t remember a time when I held a grudge for longer than a day

In a relationship? HA, THAT’S HILARIOUS¡

Tagging: @yoinksholland @softspideyboy @sunsetspidey @holland-haven @starsholland @beautiful-holland @spideycentral-1 @tom-holland-and-textposts @spiderman-n

Don’t feel at all obligated or pressured to do this if you don’t want to! And if you want to and you weren’t tagged, just do it and say I tagged you!:)