#I know a lot of it is intertwined but there's still a lot there
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come here, babydoll.
Synopsis: Vi x f! Reader. Based on the song Babydoll by Ari. Even though you were just friends, her drunken words definitely made it seem like there were some hidden feelings underneath her intense demeanor. Not proofread.
It was late out at night, the wind crashing against the walls of your apartment, the moon brightly illuminated the night. You stayed in your warm sheets, tossing and turning as the night went by. That was until you heard a knock at your door.
You slowly opened your eyes, it was around 4am, you knew it had to be Vi if anyone was coming to your place this late. You shuffled out of your bed, trying to stabilize yourself on your feet, then making your way to the front door with half opened eyes.
As you slowly opened the door, Vi stumbled her way in, making eye contact with you, but you were both slightly out of it, for two entirely different reasons.
“Vi..? What’s going on, why are you here so late?” You said gently, grabbing onto her arm and leading her over to your bed for her to get a place to just sit. The mix of alcohol, her cologne and sweat lingered.
Her being drunk wasn’t something that was unusual. She was a pit fighter after all, and this girl would constantly get drunk and get into the ring without a second thought, no care in the world for her own safety. But, for her to make an appearance this late at your place? That was unusual.
“Nothing cupcake. Just, needed you around.” She said, slightly slurring her words, the alcohol clearly had already taken over. She slowly sat down on your bed, slightly manspreading as she leaned her head into her arms, probably from how exhausted she was.
You stood there, just looking at her with concern. She was one of your closest friends, and to say you felt nothing but just friendly emotions towards her would be a lie. But feelings aside, and whatever they were, You were still beyond worried about her. These constant fights and drunken states could not be good for her, whatsoever.
As she slowly looked up at you to make eye contact, she opened her arms a bit.
“Come here, babydoll.” She said in a lower tone, quite literally almost as if she was demanding for you to come over. A hint of affection and want in her eyes.
You looked at her, and luckily the mostly dimly lit room did an amazing job at hiding the blush that crept onto your face. While it wasn't unusual for you two to be close and even flirty sometimes, she was being a lot more blunt, direct even.
You walked over to her and grabbed the hand that was slightly reaching out for you, and she pulled you into her lap. “Darling, I’m falling, fucked up over you.” Her voice was a bit wavering, a hint of need and desperation. But, it wasn’t what you’d expect.
Vi isn’t one to just open up about her feelings, much less about romantic ones. She wasn’t sober, at all, her mouth was running on autopilot, leaving her a bit vulnerable and honest.
“Vi, you- you aren’t sober right now. And as much as I'd just love to-” You said gently, trying to almost avoid the conversion. She interrupted you by holding onto your hand, intertwining your fingers together.
She called out your name, almost as if she was pleading for you to try and understand her. “I don’t care, I mean it Cupcake. Fuck, I didn’t want to wait this long to tell you, but I can’t stand it. The thought of me losing you, all because I couldn't say it? Because I couldn't tell you?” She cupped your face, trying to keep the eye contact steady, still keeping your fingers interlaced with hers.
“And fuck me if im wrong, but you feel it too don’t you babydoll?” She said, smirking a bit, knowing she was right.
writer’s note: TBH didn't know how to end this (could you tell) and I had to go study for an exam, so enjoy this little drabble <3
#vi arcane#vi x caitlyn#vi league of legends#vi x reader#vi and jinx#arcane#caitlyn kiramman#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane league of legends#arcane season two#vi#arcane x reader#vi x fem reader#wlw post#wlw#jinx#league of legends#lol arcane#lesbian
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gunwook as your boyfriend ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི
just severely obsessed with gunwook rn so here a a few thoughts
reader has boobs
gunwook who loves to cuddle. he could spent hours just laying in bed, your head on his chest as he plays with your hair. if you like to talk a lot he’d be the happiest to listen, throwing in a little „mhm“ and „yeah“ every now and then - showing you he‘s still listening.
if you prefer to listen he’ll tell you every little detail of his day and if the both of you feel like enjoying a bit of quiet time he’s so here for it. just listening to each others breaths, him pressing little kisses to the crown of your head while you do the same to his shoulder.
gunwook who always lets you play with his fingers, wether it’s an anxiety thing or you simply want to feel his touch in a subtle way
gunwook who loves giving you small kisses to the top of your nose enjoying your reactions
gunwook who loves holding your hand, walking around at night exaggeratedly swinging your intertwined hands back and forth. and and and, squeezing it whenever he gets excited or wants to tell you something.
also please kiss the top of his hand - he’ll melt
gunwook who loves laying on your boobs as you play with his hair when watching a movie. it’s not necessarily sexual he just loves to be this close to you especially knowing no one else can be in this way.
loves whenever you hold onto his arm, when walking or cuddling - secretly loving the way your fingers feel on his bicep
he never misses a good morning or night text
please never miss a „good luck“ text before performances in return tho
send you so many pictures, of things he thinks are cute and especially selfies
nsfw below - minors dni
just a few concepts - will elaborate on the future if you want <3
eats pussy from the back
ride him and let him suck marks onto your titties please
head pusher
tracing his cock over your lips before letting you suck him off
slaps your ass while he has you bent over, crying over his dick
which is thick btw
likes his hair getting pulled
will go crazy if you ask him to put you in a headlock & starts pouting when you say it was just a joke
also loves to go slow, especially when he’s tired - while spoon you and just very lazily grind into you, moaning into your hair
i could go on for hours
#park gunwook#park gunwook imagines#park gunwook smut#zerobaseone#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone smut#zb1#zb1 imagines#zb1 smut#zb1 gunwook
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hi bb who in xh that into degrading?
jiseok gets off on degrading you. he starts by teasing you during foreplay - with erotic kisses mixed with condescending comments on how needy you are; he’s pointing out all the signs that prove you become a slut whenever you want him, and he does it with evident pride and amusement. from there, he gradually enhances the degradation until it’s not just words and laughter anymore, it’s actions - pulling your hair, slapping your face with his cock that you must beg on your knees for, denying your orgasm while spitting wherever he wants on your body and your pretty face. he finds it very fun and arousing when you talk back at him for a while so he can have a reason to be even more mean; to really shut you up when he starts fucking you
gunil can be placed on the same level as hyeongjun; i thought about these two a lot cause i was unsure who’d come first until i came to the conclusion that (personally for me), they enjoy degradation the same amount, they just differ a lot on how they approach it and some few specific things that turn them on. gunil’s degradation kink is influenced by his passion for brat taming and the overall effects he has from seeing you lose your mind over how good he fucks you. yeah, he relishes the moments when he gets to fuck the attitude out of you, but he also simply enjoys the power domineering brings him; manhandling you and letting you know who you belong to. loves calling you his toy and knowing you’re unable to utter a word
hyeongjun approaches degradation with slight humiliation. he just really really enjoys teasing you, throwing sarcastic remarks which he knows you’re unable to reply to because the pleasure he brings you not only with his cock but also with his attitude prevents you from thinking properly; he often finds it both cute and amusing how desperate you can get. knowing his type of humour, you can say that degrading comes to him naturally; and it always comes with mixture of pet names and condescending smiles. he never tries to suppress his mocking chuckles as he stares down at you with fingers around your neck. loves pointing out how different you become when you’re alone with him and making comments about what would people say?
jooyeon loves how naughty you’re willing to get for him and that’s what makes the switch causing him to go from cheeky to straight up mean. when he’s being degrading he turns even more cocky, even more spoiled; degrading you almost acts like an ego boost for him where he’s not trying to tame you or to teach you how to behave like gunil. he loves that you turn into a disobedient slut and he wants it to stay that way so he can have as much fun with this version of you as he wants. he makes everything very filthy, loud and messy and likes showing off the strength of his grip by grabbing your face and pinning you down while telling you to stay still with your mouth open so he can spit inside it. if you’re into it, he will definitely slap your face, not only your pussy
seungmin isn’t into degradation in my opinion; he only teases you whenever you’re initiating sex and hint at him that you’re horny, but even then his amused tone comes out with love and affection. if you ask him to be more rough and mean he won’t say no, because he’s willing to try out most things with you especially if he knows you’re really interested, but the degradation will not be for too long and he’ll definitely sneak in praises while it lasts
jungsu is the least least likely to dip his toes into something like this. personally, i can’t even see him watching porn with degradation in it. he gets rough, yes, but only with his hips in order to make you feel amazing and to have you moaning louder as his fingers are intertwined with yours. sex with him is always romantic, very intimate and sensual no matter how fast and intense it becomes, it will not cross his mind to call you names or talk to you condescendingly because it will not make him feel good
#💌: joocomics inbox#xdinary heroes smut#xdinary heroes hard thoughts#xdinary heroes hard hours#gunil hard thoughts#jungsu hard thoughts#jiseok hard thoughts#gaon hard thoughts#seungmin hard thoughts#o.de hard thoughts#hyeongjun hard thoughts#junhan hard thoughts#jooyeon hard thoughts#xdh smut
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There’s a lot of new followers, so I’m just going to take this opportunity to remind everyone that this is an 18+ blog, so if you’re under 18, scoot. Scavenger smut under the break 🌶️
Scavengers x Reader scenarios/headcanons
Krok
• “You’re not paying attention,” Krok growls against your neck, servos intertwining with your fingers to point at something behind you that you can hardly see from your position straddling the mass displaced mechs’s lap. “I just told you what that was,” he adds. Warm servos of his free hand cup your throat then slide down to grip your hip and keep you still. When he’d asked if you wanted to learn about the ship’s controls, this wasn’t what you’d expected. A lesson also about patience as you lay your forehead against his shoulder.
• “Not fair,” you moan, hiding those eyes from him. Spike pulsing where it’s sheathed deep in your wet heat, Krok almost laughs as you try to wriggle against him. Trying to get him to move inside you as you test his control. “I don’t know, don’t care. Just move, please.” Venting affectionately, he grips your hips and lifts you, moving you slowly on his spike as you curl an arm around his neck, grip his plating. You just think he’s teasing you, but you need to know how to start the ship. How to get away if something goes wrong and they can’t get to you. Feels you shifting, trying to get some leverage to move faster, so impatient for pleasure. Relenting he uses his grip to help you ride his spike, listening to those little noises you make for him. Finally easing back on his elbows to let you have your way. Resting a hand on your hip as you ride him, servo sliding against your slick flesh where you’re stretched around his spike, enjoying those little, needy sounds of yours. The way you shudder and tighten on him at his touch.
• Finally. Moving urgently, bouncing yourself on his spike, it’s a powerful feeling to have control, to watch his hungry expression. Especially when he growls, servos tightening on you and his hips begin driving up to meet you. Rolling your hips, chasing that high and shuddering when you come apart. Feeling his hands gripping your hips to keep bucking into you before his head falls back and you feel the warmth of his release inside you. Feeling those big hands sliding up your spine, encouraging you to lay down on top of him, with his spike still pulsing inside you.
Crankcase
• You make a soft little sound of surprise as he grabs you, pushing you down on your belly on the first surface he finds and dragging you to the edge so you can’t get any leverage. His servos spearing into you, stroking and curling until you’re slick for him then he’s gripping himself and driving his spike deep into you. “Not going anywhere,” you groan in protest as he begins rutting against you. No, you’re not, but he’s aggravated, his processor dredging up things he doesn’t want to dwell on and he needs this. Needs the distraction of your soft, wet heat wrapped around his spike.
• Servos tightening on your hips until you know there’ll be bruises as he takes you hard and fast, you hear him growl when you try to look back at him over your shoulder. Draping his upper body more firmly against yours, bracing himself on an arm. “Eyes forward,” he growls, lips and denta brushing the shell of your ear, feeling him venting against you. Always taking you this way and you know it’s because of the damage to his helm, the exposed horror of his processor. Can’t stand your eyes on his face, on his wounds he refuses to let Spinister fix while he’s inside you. Feeling his spike ruthlessly stroking deep driving you over the edge, hips bucking as you milk him. Only when he’s finished, spike still pulsing inside you are you allowed to reach back. Fingers tracing over his jaw, feeling him press a soft bite against your palm. Unable to tell him the scars don’t bother you because he won’t believe you, but trying to show him with little caresses.
Misfire
• Hands on your hips, he drags you away from where you’re sprawled on Krok’s chassis in sleep. Hearing your little noise of protest as he covers you, servos in your hair as he claims your mouth, other hand sliding down to cup you, feeling you squirm against him. Those sleepy eyes heating as you hook a leg over his hip, trying to pull him to you and then he’s freeing his spike to bury inside of your welcoming heat. Aware of Krok shifting as he comes out of recharge and then swearing in Cybertronian. “On my berth?” He growls in exasperation, reaching to toy with your hair as you cry out against his mouth. Groaning when those soft, little hands find his wings and cling to him. Burying himself inside you to chase away the nightmares.
• Misfire inside you, hips bucking urgently and Krok beside you lazily reaching to free his own spike and stroke himself while he watches. Toes curling with every deep thrust and aware that you’re being too loud as he tips you over the edge. Misfire’s snarling in a broken mix of Cybertronian and English, and you can hear the rest of the Scavengers stirring. Knowing that you’re likely to not get any sleep now as Misfire shudders against you and you feel him releasing inside you, hips still frantically rocking against you as he buries himself deep. Servos cupping the back of your head as he presses his helm to your forehead, lips brushing yours affectionately. Also knowing that as soon as he slips free, Krok will cover you and not minding one bit. That you’ll take them all before you’re allowed to rest.
Fulcrum
• Big servos catching you and pulling you back against him, mouth on your throat. Loving how much smaller than him you are. The way you reach back to curl an arm around his neck, clinging to him. “There you are,” he says, servos sliding over warm, soft skin. Catching your fingers and gently nipping the sensitive skin between your thumb and first finger just to feel you shudder. The servos of his other hand pressing against your lower belly. Asking permission instead of just taking what he needs, waiting for you to take his hand and urge him to cup you, feeling you tremble against him when he vents against your throat. “Missed you,” he murmurs.
• An arm curls around you, your feet leaving the ground. Head falling back against his shoulder as he presses a servo inside you and strokes slowly, your legs trembling. Not bothering to point out that he’d cornered you in the wash racks right before lights out the night before. “Need you,” you murmur, shuddering when he slips that servo free and turns you. Back pressing to the wall as he lifts you and impales you on his spike. Feeling him venting against you before he’s moving, servos gripping your hips as he ruts against you and you hook your legs around his hips. “Please.”
• Inside you he doesn’t feel broken, doesn’t feel like a failure. It’s only you and him, your little arms curling around his neck as your needy little cries mix with the wet sound of your body taking his spike and his own groans. Trusting him to have you, trusting yourself to him as he bucks into you. Mouth covering yours as you tighten on him, milking his spike and he pins you more firmly, hips rocking against yours, burying himself deep to release.
Spinister
• “This is mine,” he growls, seizing your ankle and dragging you closer. That fidgety, nervous tension in his processor easing some when you reach for him and he lowers his face to feel those soft hands on his helm, touching his mask while you look up at him and tell him ‘okay.’ Shifting under him, thighs spreading so he can slide his spike against that slickness, find you and bury himself inside you. “I found you,” he mutters, feeling those soft hands sliding over his shoulders as he tries to hold onto the facts, reminding himself because things get confused in his processor. This he knows, though, the feel of your body under his, wet heat wrapped around his spike. This is his, familiar. Home.
• Making a soft noise as he rocks himself against you, thick spike stroking deep, you hold onto him. “That’s right,” your murmur as he moves against you, gasping. “Yours.” Never sure of his mental state, sometimes he doesn’t mind sharing, other times he does, so you don’t contradict him. Because you are his. His, Krok’s, Fulcrum, Crankcase’s, and Misfire’s. All yours. Letting your head fall back as he moves faster against you, driving you over the edge and snarling as his thrusts become more frantic before bucking deep to release, still rocking himself against you as you hear him mutter against your throat that ‘you’re his, he found you.’
#transformers x reader#idw scavengers x reader#idw krok#idw misfire#idw spinister#idw crankcase#idw fulcrum
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THE PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED... THE WINNER IS ; SHINING STAR AU
Don't worry the other AUs will get another chance in the future after we finish the superhero AU (if it has an ending of course but it'd be fun if it didn't ehe) and Shining Star ! Here's a little summary for each AU (including winning AU) ; Fates Intertwined - An AU where SEKAI didn't exist and everything happened naturally... Sort of like a slowburn? esque Alternate universe, It's a bit fleshed out but I'm still working on everything. To keep it simple, this AU is basically where each character isn't going through so much trauma and instead knows how to deal with that trauma that happened in canon with the help of the people they know and cherish, let's take An or Mizuki for example... When An found out about Nagi's death she still did feel sad (and guilty for not being able to say goodbye) and "traumatized" but VBS, instead of checking up on her once actually comforts her, like a lot (including Akito) and encouraged her to keep fighting for what she wants to achieve and keep on reaching for that shared dream. Basically reassuring her (she also has less attachment and abandonment issues... Kanamod and Modshishi knows like almost everything about this AU), while Mizuki despite having to go through Mizu5 again faces Ena this time, not running away or isolating, actually facing Ena. And Ena in return wanted Mizuki to tell her the secret herself because she didn't want to believe in people she doesn't know well, especially if the people were transphobic. uh yeah basically Project Sekai AU ; Everyone's untraumatized (THIS IS SO LONG I'M SO SORRY) Daydreams ; Actually one of my least doomed AUs, it's basically where Minori, An, Mizuki, Mafuyu, Saki, Ichika and Emu daydreams a lot... indulging in a world full of lies, living a life full of lies thinking everything is still the same. Because you see in this AU every unit disbanded because of a big issue they had. For More More Jump! They had a disagreement, Shizuku and Haruka were mostly the ones arguing but Airi also joined in to defend Shizuku... Minori witnessed all of this and basically after hearing Haruka say "I WISH I NEVER WENT ON THE ROOFTOP AND MET YOU ALL!" Minori's head basically clicked, memories flashed before her and she basically hyperventilated and ran away. Haruka realized what she'd done but it was too late, so Airi and Shizuku left. Shizuku isolated herself, Airi tries to keep in touch and well let's just say Minori's depressed and keeps daydreaming which really makes her mentally unhealthy. Haruka knows of Minori's state but she's too scared to do or say anything, she thinks it's all her fault and well you can figure out the rest here haha I just used MMJ as an example since that's the one I first worked on. part 2 will be posted hold on
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The more I think about it, the more I believe that Arya has to have one of the highest chapter counts in TWOW
#assuming George isn't planning on splitting the book again then there's just too much she has to get through to segue into the final book#the entire plot with braavos which has got to be at least like five chapters? and then her connections to the riverlands/northern plot#This is why I hope we get her linking up with other POV chapters so we can get through more of her plot quicker#I know a lot of it is intertwined but there's still a lot there#people theorize her having one of the lowest chapter counts and that just makes no sense to me#I think her and Dany will have some of the most chapters considering the ground they have to cover#one of the plots I'm most excited for because I think it's going to diverge from the show the most#they gave us barely anything in terms of her braavos plot on the show and I NEED to see the rest of it
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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i’m going to start taking on main writing partners — nothing too exclusive, i just want somewhere to focus my attention and prioritize certain dynamics in order to better develop them. with that being the case, please consider giving this post a like if you’re interested in becoming mains.
#i still need to update my rules but#i’ll do that when i return home later#and then after … this ?#i do arguably have a lot of muses so i know it’s tricky#but i really want to try and solidify this place#i’m having fun don’t get me wrong#but i’m such a fan of being able to reference other peoples muses and intertwine personal canons#yk??? it’s just so good
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jealous of people who find peace in their religion tbh
#like i know i talked about krishna a lot and he was and still is one of the biggest comforts in my life#like honestly i don’t think i would be here without him#and he’s everything to me i ‘talk’ to him like he’s right beside me#like a friend#i talk informally#anyways yes i find comfort and peace in him but with hnduism as a whole#i feel so conflicted#like the appropriation of deities and everything#and the way hnduism is used to justify whatever sick mindsets some hndus have#it’s sickening#i know i shouldn’t judge a religion based on its people but it’s very hard#and#there’s many more issues but i won’t say it#obviously one more is caste#i don’t think i need to explain how intertwined it is with present day hnduism even though it shouldn’t be#anyways yes mini rant#if i wrote anything wrongly pls feel free to tell me#delete later?
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Very 2018/19 of me here but I've gone all Marie Kondo on the rest of this season and honestly, watching the episodes each week has become somewhat bearable only because I've made a habit of skipping the scenes with the characters/storylines that don't spark joy
#if you held a gun to my head and asked me what was going on with Finley I'd be dead#same goes for Shane - and by association Tess unfortunately - idek if Kehlani is still on the scene ����🏾♀️#the little I know about Sophie I learned against my will only because she's intertwined with Dani's one and only storyline at the moment#I love Angie but I'm not about her storyline AT ALL#I tune into what's going on with Micah and Maribel every now and then but I skip a lot of their stuff too#and as much as I love Alice I've only paid attention to her scenes with ghost Dana from last week and the Tasha mentions this week
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Not Dr K calling depression similar to an autoimmune disease of the mind.
This man's videos continue to look through my soul and help more than 90% of any therapist has.
#healthy gamer#the way a recent video of his explained the way logic and depression intertwine is so validating#ive been trying to explain that concept to my therapists and they dont get why i know the solution to my problems but still struggle#validation is a wonderful thing that has been missing from a lot of my life#self validation and confidence can only get you so far
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maybe I'll just walk down to the river and have a good long scream. i wont, bc it's still dangerously cold out, but maybe if i imagine it that's close enough
#text post#im tired and i want to actually have fun today or at least not think abt my *** ** **** ******* *****#which i don't really want either i think i just. want things out of my control currently to be different#and the family shit has left me feeling even worse abt them and how they think of me#and my therapist's receptionist suddenly made clear out of the blue they want to wean me off talk therapy#which like i know she's going part time but im only wanting an appt a month or even every other rn#and im still fucking pissed at the fnp bc she's icing me out which is real fucking grown up#like. i did not fucking need anything else rn i was happyish!!!#not even a few days and weeks ago at least for a few hours at a time!!!#and one day goes no actually fuck u dumbass and godspeed and leaves me here trying to figure out#what the fuck i do and where i go from here#and mum will be by after her first day back at work after the hols and that's always a fucking production#in which she monologues to me abt how she's forever a victim and i pat her shoulder and dry her eyes and reassure her she's loved#no matter what bc despite it all she is!! by me a lot!!!#but that said shit like that is what has me so intertwined and understanding of izzy like#it's exhausting when the beams of your own house are rotting but you're spending most of your time#trying to hold up someone u love and depend on quite a fucking bit#and their beams seem to be in much better condition but that doesn't matter bc they still need upkeep#and if she won't do it and others won't do it for themselves then i will bc at least then i feel useful#and after ill do a bitchy lil vent post like this as usual and then pretend i don't mind bc what else can i do#except keep going forward when it's made v clear my life is not currently wholly my own to decide what i do with it#especially if those wants don't benefit ppl close to me#im so fucking tired again yall
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I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.
Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.
Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.
Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.
I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.
He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).
First, we get this:
Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.
They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.
It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.
We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.
What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?
He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.
In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.
Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!
...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.
Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.
And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.
I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.
And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.
Meals are the privilege of the living.
#Dungeon Meshi#Delicious in Dungeon#Kabru#Kabru of Utaya#Laios Touden#Dungeon Meshi meta#you can have him in the tags too. as a treat.#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#this was directly inspired by livelaughlaios's post about Kabru self harming but I decided it got too long to make it a direct reply#this is a theory I've been working on for weeks because I kept noticing this while skimming for screencaps#I'm hesitant to trigger tag this because of the way certain subcultures on tumblr operate#but if anyone needs me to add a content warning please let me know#also I included image descriptions! I did my best#I think they even help illustrate my points but my god were they sad to write. Kabru is so fucking sad you guys#musings with Dea
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#tag talk#I think one of the reasons therapy is so hard is that it's not like I show up and talk about the problem I have.#I show up and have to list all thirty seven problems and explain how their separate and how they're intertwined#I had my third hour-long appointment with my therapist who I feel genuinely hopeful about and there's still issues I haven't talked about#and I get that a lot of these separate issues are really just a basket of extreme symptoms from a few core issues#but it's been so long that they've grown and rooted on their own so it's not just a matter of digging out the original roots. not anymore.#and I do feel like I've made progress. I've made immense progress. the mood stabilizer alone is giving me loads of new data to process.#without it the mood phase I'm in right now would be morose and gloomy with manic energy turned inward to self loathing.#I started that direction a day or so ago because I forgot/didn't care to take my meds and started slipping#but I took my pills and bam I leveled out. and that's nice. I feel calm and serene.#hmm. I've been like this before though. after some sort of emotional high which I did have for a bit.#idk. I'm hopeful I'm positive I'm optimistic but still#I need to talk to my therapist about the feeling like a joke. I'm weird I'm interesting I'm novel I'm strange I know it already.#I'm lonely#I'm tired of being different. of being set apart. of being holy. divine.#I want to be normal. not a spectacle to gawk at or even appreciate. I want to be unremarkable. I want to fit in.#my therapist has enjoyed talking with me. I'm very funny. very charming. tough to keep up with apparently.#those things are intended as compliments but they also just remind me of how alone I am. different. set apart.
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bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.
FRIENDSHIP. childhood friends / work buddies or coworkers / family friends / friends with benefits / smoking buddies / adventure buddies / fake friends / recently friends / party buddies / friendship of need / dying friendship / circumstantial friendship / partners in crime / old friendship /[your muse] is the good influence /[your muse] is the bad influence /[my muse] is the good influence /[my muse] is the bad influence / opposites attract / ride or die / frenemies / roommates or flatmates / penpals / exes to friends / enemies to friends / other
ROMANCE. childhood sweethearts /[your muse is mines] childhood crush /[my muse is yours] childhood crush / exes / exes to lovers / forbidden lovers / highschool sweethearts / secret relationship / opposites attract / long distance / unrequited [from your muses side]/ unrequited [from my muses side]/ unrequited [from both sides]/ skinny love / friends to lovers / enemies to lovers / spurious relationship / power couple / newly entered / soulmates [ metaphorical ]/ soulmates [ literal ]/ awkward / turning toxic (only in Godhood Path) / toxic love (only in Godhood Path) / cheating [on your muse]/ cheating [with your muse]/ other
FAMILIAL. siblings [half]/ siblings [step]/[my muse] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure /[my muse] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse /[my muse] is a parental figure to yours /[my muse] is a child figure to your muse / guardian figure / legal guardian / adoptive child / foster child /[your muse] is taken under mines wing /[my muse] is taken under yours wing / other
ANTAGONISTIC. dangerous to each other / dangerous to others / unpredictable / rivals / petty / developing into sexual or romantic tension / based off family matters / based of off circumstance / based of professional matters / based off misunderstanding or lies / conflict of ideology / betrayal / hero - villain dynamic / enemies / fight club / friends turned enemies / lovers turned enemies / exes turned enemies / other
#wizofwaterdeep#ANSWERED.#(hoo boy. Gale. Gale is a complex one regarding Valerya and the companions)#(because a good part of me is debating on her stance with choosing Godhood or staying as he is now and moving past Mystra)#(since she herself is trying to escape her illness with partial ceremorphosis and becomes lost in her wonder and desire to know all on it)#(it's almost morbid; and that morbid curiosity would definitely spur itself open with the Karsite Weave and whatnot)#(beyond that though; a lot of this is back & forth as you can tell but i do overall see them as very deeply intertwined people in some way)#(not just both of them being wizards but in a way; both of them are chronically and terminally ill)#(she's more than willing to always give him magical items in Act 1; likely knowing more than anyone save for Gale on how precious those are#(she likes how good-natured he is and how much he loves to just... talk. and share his mind)#(Valeryana was never able to do much of that even in the academy; so much distrust and ambition is woven into drow society)#(you can't trust anyone. yet gale is one of similar mind and accomplishment; separated from those burdensome paranoias)#(i can see her having long talks beneath the stars as friends or lovers; sipping on a glass of wine and philosophizing)#(of course; it isn't all sunshine; she's far more harsh than him overall and tries to balance it with her want to still end up positively)#(i think he'll see her desire to do the right thing and also see why she's like that; she was raised to be nothing BUT brutal)#(even when attempting to do the right thing; i imagine it'll bring up a lot of ideological fights between them)#(but the both of them learn from one another as a result)#(he teaches her it's okay to be openly kind and vulnerable. not everyone will try and use that kindness against you)#(she teaches him that it's never a sin to advocate for yourself. even and ESPECIALLY against those you admired and loved)#(which can twist and appear in a lot of ways for both of them)#(I'LL STOP HERE BUT. Gale And Valeryana Would Likely Be Quite A Time)#(thank you for the ask!! i'm curious to see yours for valeryana in turn :eyes:)
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Controversially young girlfriend
post-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader
Summary: Joel finally finds his brother. He's not too happy to hear how he got on with his life without him. But his brother is also not happy to meet his new partner - you. Or Joel fucks you to comfort you. Warnings: +18, MDNI, age gap (reader is 22, Joel is 56), soft!dom!Joel, maybe little angst, unprotected PIV, fingering, daddy kink, DAUGHTER ISSUES (pls it’s important), protective!Joel, no!Ellie AU, pet names (baby girl, kitty, daddy) Wordcount: 4,6k An: Soft Joel is definitely one of my favorites. It's a pleasure to write him that way. Music I worked with: Brooklyn Baby - Lana Del Rey
Masterlist
“Well…” Tommy started, looking away. His hand intertwined with the woman's hand next to him. “Maria is family, actually.”
There was silence.
The atmosphere became so thick that you felt uncomfortable even though you weren't part of their conversation. Joel's gaze was fixed on the hands of the couple next to him as if he was cursing them in every way. You noticed out of the corner of your eye how his jaw was clenching dangerously so you decided to save the situation before it became even more awkward.
“Congrats,” you said with a nice smile and they responded in kind.
But they didn't wait for your words.
They waited for Joel's words, but he still remained dangerously silent.
You looked at him, placing your hand on his in a comforting gesture. His fingers immediately tightened around yours as if they were the only thing that could save him.
“Joel, say congrats,” you murmured with an encouraging smile. You watched carefully as he clenched his jaw tighter, fighting with himself. His eyes finally fell on his brother and his partner.
There was a long silence again.
“Congrats,” a low voice cut through the silence like a knife. You wanted to roll your eyes at the way his words sounded. As if he wished them to fall out on the ice. So in Joel’s style...
You were surprised that his attitude towards the whole situation changed in just a few seconds. A moment ago he was hugging his brother with tears in his eyes and now he was looking at him with contempt. There was no positive emotion in his behaviour but you decided that you would ask him about everything when you were alone.
You squeezed his hand tighter as he leaned back, getting more comfortable. And it wouldn't be something special if that damn old man wasn't trying to show in this way his dominance.
This time you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his childish behavior. Grown up man.
Tommy and Maria exchanged knowing glances before he tried to break the awkward atmosphere.
“So…” he started with a smile, looking from you to Joel. “Are you two…” he started, pointing his finger at you. You immediately understood what he was trying to ask and you opened your mouth to answer him, but Joel was faster.
"Yes," he said coldly. You glanced at him as he continued to stare deadly at his brother. Tommy smiled awkwardly and nodded.
"He's annoying sometimes, isn't he?" he asked teasingly, wanting to relax the atmosphere. You chuckled, deciding that at least you, out of the two of you, would show some level of manners.
“Yeah, sometimes,” you nodded with a smile. Tommy quickly realized that he would rather talk to you than to his own brother. He smiled pleasantly at you, ignoring Joel's burning gaze.
"How did you meet?" he started, wanting to do a quick interview. And of course he wasn't doing it because you looked so damn young.
Too young…
You smiled wider, glancing out of the corner of your eye at Joel before you began to speak.
"Well... we happened to run into each other in the middle of nowhere," you said, feeling Joel start to gently stroke your hand with his thumb. A small gesture but it gave you a lot of comfort. “It won't come as a surprise that the first time we met, we pointed guns at each other,” you laughed softly at the memory. It seemed so irrational now. "But somehow he managed to convince me not to put a bullet in his head."
Joel finally glanced at you, and if it weren't for the whole situation, he would have started teasing you about what you said.
“He's been like my shadow ever since,” you finished saying and glanced at Joel, giving him a soft smile. His gaze immediately warmed. You were his weak spot and like a ray of sunshine, you warmed his broken soul. You were his cure.
Tommy noticed the way you were looking at each other and felt strangely uneasy. He hadn't seen Joel look at anyone like that since his daughter died. And he honestly didn't think it was a good thing.
"How old are you?" came the question from his mouth. Maria looked at him warningly, but it was too late. The words were spoken.
You looked at Tommy, smiling crookedly. You knew that your age was... a topic you preferred to avoid. Relationships with such an age difference were not perceived very well by other people.
“I-“ you started hesitantly.
"Twenty-two," Joel replied, looking intently at his brother. You swallowed, feeling a lump in your stomach as you heard Joel's confident voice. You tightened your fingers on his hand, searching for the comfort he immediately provided you.
For him, there was only you.
You and your comfort were his priority.
Tommy laughed nervously, his eyes darting between the two of you. He straightened up slowly and glanced at his partner as if she was about to tell him that it was all really a joke.
But no one else laughed. Maria looked at him knowingly, Joel looked at him deadly and you looked down. Everyone was dead serious and then Tommy couldn't stand it. He looked at everyone, getting more serious by the second.
“Are you fucking serious?” he finally asked in disbelief. He snorted dryly, focusing his full attention on Joel. You cringed slightly at his aggressive tone. His reaction didn't bode well and you honestly didn't want to witness it. “Joel, what the fuck?” he growled, pointing his hand at you. “She's twenty-two. She's a fucking child."
You blinked a few times, staring stubbornly at the discoloration on the table. Right now, anything was better than facing the situation that was happening.
But Joel was calm. At least that's what he appeared to be. He gently squeezed your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles. And he didn't seem at all concerned about his brother's reaction.
"If Sarah were alive-"
"Don’t," Joel interrupted him firmly. Tommy fell silent, knowing he had said a few too many words. But he wasn't thinking about that now. He was too upset about what his brother was doing. He snorted dryly, spreading his hands helplessly.
“What are you doing exactly?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “You’re playing family with her? Playing her daddy?” he continued with increasing disgust. “Treating your daughter issues?” he added with venom.
Tears appeared in your eyes. Was your relationship really that disgusting in the eyes of others?
"She is younger than her, Joel" he said a little more calmly, trying to make his brother realize that what he was doing was wrong. Your eyes met Maria's. There was no compassion in her for this situation, she looked at you with compassion as if you were unaware of the harm that was affecting you. As if you were… just a stupid kid.
You shuddered because of the negative emotions that filled the table. This didn't go unnoticed by Joel. He knew he had allowed Tommy's offensive comments to go on too long.
"She's happy with me," he finally said, his voice a little hoarse. This time you shuddered because of him. “You don't have to worry about the rest. I'm not hurting her.” He straightened up slowly and squeezed your hand before letting you go. "We'll replenish our supplies and leave in the morning," he decided, moving away from the table. Tommy looked at him, not knowing what to say.
"Joel-"
"Thank you for the meal," he said politely to Maria and stood up. His contemptuous gaze was fixed on his brother as he extended his hand towards you.
“It was nice to meet you,” you said, smiling politely at her and then without thinking, you took Joel's hand. In the blink of an eye, a jacket appeared on your shoulders as you stepped outside. Without a word, you tried to keep up with Joel as you passed the others people.
He was furious, you were sure of that. That's why you were afraid to even breathe for several minutes. The snow crunched under your shoes as you passed each street. You had access to the house at the very end of the town, so you had a short walk ahead of you.
Eventually, Joel slowed down a bit. His shoulders stopped tensing and the crease between his eyebrows disappeared slightly.
“Not so great orientation meeting,” you said jokingly. Joel raised an eyebrow, glancing down at you. And even though his emotions were swirling inside him, the sight of your sweet, innocent smile immediately brought him peace.
He sighed heavily, looking away. “Yeah, not very successful,” he replied with a small smirk on his face.
You smiled wider when you saw his reaction. You loved that Joel was like this just with you. As if he couldn't feel negative emotions around you. He really couldn’t. You were his cure for everything.
The rest of the way was spent in silence until you stood on the porch of the last house on the street and Joel opened the door for you.
“Woah,” you sighed, looking around the house. “A house suitable for living. I’m in shock” you marveled as you slowly explored each room and Joel watched your every move. He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms, and quickly looked around the interior.
“Yeah, not bad,” he nodded, making you look at him in shock.
“Dude, it's awesome here,” you said, spreading your arms with a wide smile.
“Language” admonished you.
“Yeah, sorry,” you nodded and started exploring the house again.
You spent the entire evening washing away the dirt from several months. Only after the third time, the water was clear. You sat staring at the water as Joel washed your hair once again. You didn't ask him for it, but you never had to ask him for anything. If he could, he would start breathing for you. It may have amounted to obsession.
But who could stop him? More than one has tried to take you away from him. And they all ended their lives.
Who could blame him? If he had to, he would kill everyone in the world, everyone infected, just to keep you safe.
"Can I ask you something?" you spoke up, breaking the silence.
“Anything,” he replied, automatically washing the ends of your hair thoroughly.
“You promise you won't be mad?”
“I can't be mad at you.”
And it was true. Even though you knew it, you still felt stressed. Joel was…allergic to certain topics and you completely respected that. But after today, you couldn't and didn't want to stay silent.
“How old would Sarah be now?” you asked quietly. His movements stopped for a few seconds, as did your heart. But Joel didn't let you live in uncertainty for long. He slowly started washing your hair again and sighed softly. You knew that this topic wasn't very pleasant for him, so you honestly spat in your face for needing to know the answer to a few questions.
"Thirty-two," he replied without much emotion.
You swallowed hard, realizing that Tommy was right. You were too fucking young for him.
His daughter would be ten years older than you.
His daughter.
And you were his… who? Girlfriend? Now that sounded pathetic.
You wrapped your arms around your knees tighter, resting your chin on them and remaining silent. You've never thought about it all this way.
Joel was always… good for you.
True, he had his weaknesses, but who didn't? His wounds didn't bother you. After all, you fell in love with him. With all his flaws.
"You're silent," he noted after a few minutes of silence.
This conversation was not in his favor, but he knew that there were reactions going on in your head that shouldn't be there. And he knew he had to make sure nothing stupid got into your head.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, starting to slowly rinse the lather from your hair. The warm water ran down your back, making you shiver with pleasure.
“I just… think,” you shrugged. Joel sighed heavily and you knew very well what that meant.
"Baby-"
"Do you think Tommy's right?" you interrupted him before he could get going.
"About?" he asked, squeezing the excess water from your hair. You straightened up, looking at him over your shoulder. You were upset by everything you heard and he couldn't bear it. He couldn't stand that his own brother had put you in such a state. A state of doubt.
Joel moved closer to you, groaning softly as he knelt by the tub. You watched his tired face with those innocent eyes of yours.
“Listen, baby girl…” he started and touched your cheek gently. “I'm not going to lie to you…Tommy's god damn right,” he nodded, and more emotions immediately appeared in your eyes.
Fear? Surprise? Uncertainty? Or maybe all at once.
Despite his words, he smiled at you, stroking your jaw tenderly. “I'm too damn old for you,” he laughed, following the movements of his fingers with his eyes. His worn hands against your silky skin.
Two contradictions.
“Fuck…” he sighed with a helpless smile and trailed his fingers down to your neck. “Baby, you are like a blooming flower. Young, beautiful, innocent," he said dreamily. "While I am a dried bush overgrown with weeds for a long time."
“You are not,” you denied, frowning in sadness. Joel smiled fondly at your words and stroked your cheek with his thumb. You unconsciously hugged to his hand. A warm, rough hand that brought you a sense of security.
“So what am I in your eyes?” he asked, looking at you with tenderness. You were so damn delicate that sometimes he was afraid he would break you.
“You are like a big oak tree at the very top of the hill,” you said with a soft smile. A smile that was intended only for him. “Your crown provides shade and shelter in the summer,” you continued, looking closely at every detail on his face. "And in winter your branches scare away all those who didn’t rest under you in summer."
His heart tightened in his chest as he listened to your words. In your eyes, Joel was a completely different person. In your eyes, he was good.
“You would be a good poet,” he replied, shaking his head with a smile. You watched as he slowly stood up, groaning at the slightest movement.
Good old oak.
“Get your ass out of it cause I want to wash up too,” he looked down at you with a smirk before walking out of the bathroom.
A few hours later you were lying in bed.
A soft bed.
A clean bed.
And yet you couldn't sleep.
You stared at the blank wall and thought about everything and nothing. Joel was long asleep. At least that's what you thought. You didn't know because you hadn't turned to face him since he laid down in bed. His calm breathing was the only thing you could focus on. No other sounds. You were... safe. This was rare.
So why did you feel so… bad?
Why his calm breathing didn’t bring you comfort like it always did?
Why you felt like you were in the wrong place?
Why-
“You've been silent for several hours,” Joel's hoarse voice brought you out of your thoughts. “It wouldn't be weird if you were sleeping, but you are not,” he continued, and the mattress behind you sagged under his weight. His arm wrapped around your waist as he leaned in, nuzzling your ear. “So are you finally going to tell me what this is about?” he whispered, sending shivers down your entire body. Your pulse immediately quickened at his proximity.
Then came a gentle kiss behind the ear.
And then on the neck.
And then his arm tightened around you, pulling you closer to his heated chest.
“I was sleeping,” you said quietly, hoping to avoid the conversation.
“Liar,” he whispered into your ear, his warm breath reverberating through your body in an inappropriate way. “Come on, baby girl,” he nuzzled you encouragingly. "Spit it out."
You lay there struggling with yourself for a while. You didn't want to talk about it now. You didn't want to talk about it at all. But something inside made you ask the question that was floating around in your head like a virus.
“If you think Tommy is right, then why-”
“Because I love you,” he interrupted you, knowing very well what your question would be. Even if he didn't know, there was one answer. “Because I can't imagine being where I am now without you.”
You fell silent, letting his words permeate the space around you. You believed him. Always and in everything. You pursed your lips into a line, wondering for the first time if you were stupid enough to trust him blindly with everything.
For the first time you doubted him.
“They looked at me like I was stupid for trusting you,” you whispered, huddling deeper under the blanket. Joel sighed softly and turned you towards him. You stared at his chest, not wanting to look at him. You were ridiculed just because you were young.
“Hey, baby, look at me,” he said gently, running his fingers down your cheek to your chin to force you to look up.
You were sad.
He hated when you were sad.
His sunshine couldn't hide behind the clouds.
“You're not stupid, you understand?” he started, looking at you seriously. You wanted to look away but he wouldn't let you. "Understand?" he repeated more firmly. You nodded weakly, but that was enough for him. “I'm the problem, not you,” he spoke softly, stroking your cheek gently. “I'm not a good person and they know it,” he smiled gently, wanting to reassure you. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. "I've done a lot of bad things you've never even heard of." He slowly traced your cheek until he finally removed his hand only to place it on your hip. “But you… You are good.” He pressed his fingers lightly against your skin and then moved down to your thigh. “And someone as good as you shouldn't be with someone as bad as me,” he explained and slowly pulled your leg on top of him.
“But-“
“Your age is just something they can pick on,” he answered your question before it left your mouth. You fell silent, feeling the warmth on your cheeks as his hand slowly began to stroke your thigh. “They don't believe that someone like you is with me by choice and not by force,” he explained with a soft smile on his lips as his hand moved up, sneaking under your shirt to your waist. “They explain everything using my trauma. And the fact is, maybe there is a fatherly instinct in me. But thanks to this, I can take care of you the way you need it.” His words crept into your head just as he wanted them to. You were fascinated by him. You looked at him again like you always did.
As if there was only him in the whole world.
That look healed another piece of his soul each time.
He couldn't lose you.
Even at the cost of his own brother.
“And the fact that you kissed me first was just an added bonus. I'm just a man and you knew exactly what to do to make me weak for you" he added with a smirk and you snorted under your breath. Your reaction was enough to make his heart beat faster. And the happiness in your eyes only ignited it.
He leaned towards you, nuzzling his nose against yours. You closed your eyes with a blissful smile.
“They may think you're stupid for me, but the truth is, I'm stupid for you,” he whispered before gently pressing his lips to yours. The warmth of his lips and the roughness of his beard warmed your heart. He kissed you gently and slowly. He always did it slowly. Enjoying every second of the closeness you gave him. He didn't know how many moments like this he had left so he enjoyed everything you gave him.
The softness of your lips.
The gentleness of your hands.
The sweetness of your moans.
His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer until there was no space between you. Your hands came to his cheeks as he slowly deepened the kiss. Even in the kiss he could feel how delicate you were.
Joel was already too destroyed by life for his lips to taste like yours. But that's how you liked him. With heavy touch, rough beard, chapped lips and tired eyes. And all this with a pinch of love he had for you.
You moaned into his mouth as he pulled your hips closer to his. How could you not fall for him when he was perfect for you?
“Let me take care of you, baby girl,” he whispered against your lips and moved his hips gently, grinding against you. Your breath shuddered as he brushed against your pussy. Without thinking, you nodded.
“Okay,” your whisper disappeared into his mouth as he kissed you again. He ran his hand down your back to your ass until he disappeared between your thighs.
You moaned sweetly as he ran his fingers over your wet slit. He loved how wet you were for him. Always.
You made him feel like a man again.
You let him take care of you in every sense of the word. You trusted him. And this time he wasn't going to make the same mistake.
His fingers slowly dipped into your hole, triggering another moan that disappeared into his mouth. He slowly started fucking you with his fingers. Gently and with love. Takes his time with you.
You breathed heavily into his mouth, purring every now and then in contentment at his gentle touch. He experienced it with you, drinking everything from your lips.
“You're always ready for me,” he purred contentedly and rubbed the bulge in his boxers against your clit. You whimpered softly. “Such a good girl,” he nuzzled against yours and placed a kiss on the tips of your lips. You felt the muscles in your lower abdomen begin to tense with every movement of his finger.
And suddenly his fingers disappeared. You gasped, feeling the sudden emptiness. His hand disappeared between your bodies only to take out his ready cock. He ran his hand along his entire length a few times, placing another kiss on your cheek.
“Don’t worry, daddy will take care of you,” he whispered, running his tip over your slit and then dipping into you a moment later. You gasped, closing your eyes and letting him wrap his arms around your waist.
He pulled you closer, impaling you with his cock. He shuddered as he buried himself inside you. You always welcomed him with warmth and wetness. You clenched around him at the feeling of being filled.
“She's happy to see me,” he said happily, placing a trail of kisses along your jaw. He wrapped his arm tightly around your hips and slowly began to move inside you. His movements were negligible. He pulled out of you only a few inches only to come back in again. These lazy movements were beyond perfect. You felt him perfectly and constantly. Just like you should.
You moaned, tightening your leg around his hip to get even closer. To make it even deeper. His lips were on your neck, placing wet kisses inch by inch. And all you could do was melt in his embrace. Every lazy movement of his hips stimulated you non-stop. Your soft moans filled the room and his heart. He loved hearing you sing for him.
He kept thrusting into you, keeping the perfect pace. Zero breaks in stimulating your pussy. Lazy sex was definitely one of your favorites. The constant closeness you had then was something that made you forget for a moment that the world around you existed. His lips returned to yours, inviting you into a deep kiss. Perfectly coordinated from the very beginning. From the first moment your lips met.
“I love making love to you,” he whispered against your lips. All you could do in response was pull him in for a kiss again. The pleasure you felt between your legs, your heart and your soul made a single tear roll down your cheek.
Fuck, how could you ever give up on this man? The old oak tree under whose care you blossomed.
His fingers dug into your skin and his movements were more decisive. He continued to move lazily inside you, only to enter hard until the very end. You breathed heavily into his mouth, keeping your hands firmly on his cheeks. Your gasps and moans mixed together in perfect harmony.
“Fuck, dad-“ you trailed off as he thrust into you hard once again.
“Yes, baby girl, come on my cock,” he gasped, feeling your slit becoming more and more reluctant to let him come out of you. This was the only time he started fighting with you.
He held your hips tightly, trying to keep the same pace even though you weren't making it easy for him.
“Don't fight it kitty,” he said with a smile. You laughed softly against his lips and started moving your hips to help him. Your movements made him look forward to fulfillment as well. You both moved your hips in sync, moaning into each other's mouths.
“Daddy’s gonna fill you up, okay?” he gasped, feeling his movements become sloppier than he would have liked.
“Mhm,” you murmured, holding on to his neck like a lifeline. Joel began to moan louder and louder into your mouth, feeling his orgasm slowly approaching like a wave of fire. You sped up your hip movements, feeling him start to slow down. You had to catch up with him.
“Oh, fuck… Fuck,” he groaned in pleasure as he came inside you. His orgasm was like a rag to a bull for you. You rolled your hips a few more times before you came, panting heavily. You shuddered, moving your hips one more time before you collapsed, looking up at him, satisfied.
He watched you in silence, and the sight of your face after your orgasm was definitely one of his favorites. He leaned towards you, stealing a gentle kiss. His thumb stroked your cheek as if you were made of porcelain. His arms wrapped around you tightly, pulling you to his chest as he covered your bodies with the blanket. You snuggled into him, listening to his heartbeat as he stroked your hair gently.
"You know... you may be too old for me, but you're still doing pretty well," you admitted, and he laughed quietly.
"Yeah?" he asked, amused.
“Yeah,” you nodded with a smile. Joel leaned down to press a kiss to your head in response to your teasing. You were perfect. And you were his.
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