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crucifiedfaerie · 11 months

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Gibson Girl | Pt. 3 ༉₊˚✧

Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader

➴ Summary: After you reach your breaking point, Kylo does something you never expected to see from him.

➴ Part One | Part Two

➴ Word Count: 2.4k

➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dom!kylo, slowburn, soft!kylo, we are so back!!, crylo ren, an insurmountable amount of angst (swearing, yelling, crying, kylo's internal suffering, brief mention of death but nothing happens), lots of fluff, SMUT (unprotected PiV sex, oral f!receiving, overstimulation, devoted!gentle!kylo, watch as i describe cunnilingus in excruciating detail for 5 paragraphs) typos probably

➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear @capitanostella @teapartydreams )

A/N: guys, gibson girl is officially complete. im actually so proud of how the entire fic turned out and i just wanna say thank you for the love you've given it. <3 it genuinely made me wanna keep writing and i hope you stick around for my future works, because i have so many good ideas in store. anyways, enjoy the third and final part of gibson girl. this is by far my favorite chapter of this trilogy, i was giggling, kicking my feet, and possibly crying while writing this... dare i say that this chapter is my magnum opus.

You approached his door, ears ringing from your rapid heart rate and the electric hum of the hallway lights. You wiped the sweat from your palms on your pants and let out a deep breath.

Before you could even think about knocking, the door shot open and you were forcefully pulled inside by two large, leather clad hands.

Kylo gripped your waist hard, and kicked the door shut with his boot. You yelped as he pushed you against it, hitting the back of your head on the durasteel.

He leant down, the cold metal of his mask grazed the fading bruise on your jaw, sending goosebumps crawling across your skin. "Gods, I've waited two weeks to feel you again. Im so glad to be back." Kylo purred, his modulator crackling in your ear. He reached up to begin unbuttoning your shirt. He only made it past the first button before the anger rose inside you.

You brought your hands up to his chest, pushing him off of you. "What the FUCK Kylo!" You yelled at him, feeling the tears prick your eyes. Surprisingly, he didn't stop you, taking a step away from you and tilting his head ever so slightly as if he were confused, which only made you angrier.

You were past your breaking point. "What is wrong with you?! You invite me here, whisper sweet nothings in my ear, then all of a sudden you hate fuck me and kick me out like I'm the problem?!" You sobbed and were practically screaming at him, you didn't care if he got mad, you needed to say this. "And now you invite me back acting like it never happened, wanting to- to what? Hate fuck me again?? You make NO sense, Kylo! It's like you're two different people!" You paused, breathing heavily and collecting yourself a bit before continuing. "And you wanna know the fuck of it all? You haven't even kissed me- gods!- You cant even face me. You hide behind that mask and hurt me like I'm some pet you love to hate." You spoke calmly now, the anger subsiding into a strange mix of sadness and apathy.

The apathy, however, was short lived. You had never snapped at Kylo like this before and he was the most feared man in the galaxy after all. The images of the many ways he could kill you flashed before your eyes. A lightsaber through the abdomen. Force choking the life out of you until your neck snapped. Slamming you into a wall until every bone in your body was shattered. You shut your eyes tightly and braced for impact, but it never came.

Each word you yelled at him had chipped a piece off his emotionless façade, and Kylo thought his heart might shatter along with it. The killing blow was how you stood before him terrified, shaking, waiting for him to lash out and strike you out of rage. He wasn't weak for loving you, he was weak for hurting you and he knew he couldn't do that to you anymore, not now... not ever. He felt something- someone inside of himself he hadn't felt in years, a man he thought he had killed, a man who he had almost forgotten the name of.

You only opened your eyes when you heard the click and hiss of his helmet. When he pulled it off you were met with his concerned, brown eyes. You stared at him in shock and awe, taking in every detail of him. The way his long, dark hair fell around his face, his perfect aquiline nose, the beauty marks that scattered like stars across his already beautiful face, the scar that began just above his brow, trailing down his face and disappearing below the neckline of his dark uniform.

Kylo dropped his helmet to the floor carelessly, the metallic clang loud enough for someone down the hall to hear. He pulled his gloves off quickly before throwing them to the ground and rushing over to you, taking your face into his hands and crashing his lips into yours.

His kiss was electric and full of desperation. As if he were a man lost in the deserts of Tattooine and you were Oasis East, Kylo drank you up feverishly. He was warm and tasted divine, like cinnamon and smoke.

When he pulled away, you both breathed heavily, lungs searching for air. "I don't hate you. Please don't say that." Kylo's voice broke, he was almost pleading with you, his eyes searching your face as if he were trying to get you to understand how he felt about you without him having to admit it out loud.

"Kylo... I-"

Suddenly your feet were off the floor, being carried over his shoulder to his bedroom once again, just like the first night he invited you here. Only this time you didn't feel like a bug caught in a spiders web. You felt safe. Needed.

As Kylo carried you, you kicked your shoes off carelessly, letting them fall to the floor of the hallway and you heard him breathe out a small laugh.

He sat you down on the bed and you noticed how he now handled you ever so gently, as if you were a precious, fragile thing he didn't dare risk breaking.

Kylo knelt in front of you and unbuttoned your shirt, taking extra care with each button before he slid it off of you. He gently looped his fingers into the waistband of your pants and underwear, pulling them both off in one go, leaving you completely naked.

He peppered kisses down your thigh before standing up, taking a step back to admire you, his dark eyes filled with adoration. With him being maskless, you became hyper aware of your nakedness. Your face flushed pink and you looked at the floor.

What he did next though, was something you weren't expecting. You watched in awe as Kylo kicked off his boots before shedding his cloak, his outer robes, his inner robes, his belt, then began methodically working at his shirt.

Oh my gods- why do you wear so many layers?

He shut his eyes and his mouth tightened into a thin line, as if he were stifling a laugh from hearing your thought. Kylo sighed, "Hush, its very cold on Starkiller, you know." He laughed softly as he pulled his shirt off, exposing the scars that littered his perfect frame.

He unbuttoned his trousers and pulled them off before making quick work of his underwear. There Kylo was, standing before you completely naked, looking down at you with soft eyes. Not a creature in a mask, stalking you like prey, but a man carrying nothing but adoration and desire.

He stepped forward before leaning down and kissing you again, pushing you flat onto his bed. His hands explored every inch of your body, bare skin touching yours and for the first time you felt like equals. Two living, breathing human beings who needed one another desperately.

Kylo's hands had found home tangled in your hair and the sound of him moaning into your mouth was heavenly. He pulled away, hovering above you, his hair falling around his face like a dark curtain. "Please. Please let me show you how much you mean to me, little star." He was practically begging, his eyes searching yours. This was a version of Kylo you didn't know existed. It was as if he had been completely stripped of his coldness and apathy, left only with warmth and compassion.

You nodded, and he trailed his kisses down your neck and bare chest, his soft lips grazing your nipple, causing you to let out a soft whine. He smiled and continued down your stomach and hip, to your thighs. Each kiss sent warm tingles down your spine.

Kylo lifted your legs over his shoulders and kissed down your thigh, stopping at your heat. His cool breath made you shiver. Before you could form even a single thought, his face was buried between your legs.

The way he lapped you up like spring water and how his tongue grazed over your clit made you crumble into a whining mess. Your fingers weaved through his dark locks and you pulled instinctually, causing him to moan against your cunt.

He was knelt before you like a sinner at the altar, worshipping his god and silently begging for forgiveness through your pleasure.

"Mhm Fuck- Kylo I- Stop you're gonna make m-me cum." You whined. He knew you couldn't hold on for much longer, and he didn't care, your sweet moans only inspired him to go faster. He hummed something unintelligible, a wordless approval for you to let go.

Your thighs trembled around his face as your body unraveled on his mouth. The pleasure he gave you was divine, euphoric, and your vision clouded as he rode you through your high.

He pulled away from you panting, his mouth and nose damp from your juices. You felt the bed dip as he situated himself above you, his hips between your legs. He kissed you deeply and you could taste yourself on his tongue, tangy and sweet like summer fruit.

He pulled away "Gods- I've waited what feels like forever to do that." He whispered.

You held his face in your hands and kissed him again. "Please Kylo I need you." You wrapped your legs around his waist.

He lined himself up with your entrance and pushed in slowly as he held you. He paused when he bottomed out, allowing you a moment to adjust to the size of his cock. You moaned loudly, still sensitive from the wonders he performed on you with his mouth.

Kylo began to move, slowly increasing the pace of his thrusts but still taking extra care not to be too rough. He looked down at you, his pupils blown with lust and love. He studied your face and how your eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. Kylo wanted to savor every detail of this moment, no dark visors obscuring his vision of you.

"I wish you could see how beautiful you look right now my star." He purred as he hit that sensitive spot deep inside you.

You moaned at the overstimulation. Kylo tilted his head down to kiss at your neck and your brain felt like static as you struggled to find words. "I- I was gonna say- hmm fuck- say the s-same about y-y..." You trailed off, lost in the pleasure.

Kylo chuckled against your neck, amused at your futile attempt to articulate a coherent sentence. "You're getting close again, sweet thing, I can feel it. S-so am I." He moaned, faltering at the end of his sentence.

You could only give a small hum and nod of agreement, words were too much for you, the contents of your mind had been completely emptied and replaced with thoughts of only him. Your desperate whines rang through his bedroom.

"Hm, fuck- cum with me. Cum with me my little star. Shit!" He was desperate now too, his thrusts sloppy as he held you in his arms.

You both reached your climaxes at the same time. Your visions clouded with white-hot stars, as if fireworks were going off in your brains. Kylo desperately muttered a long string of profanities as he came inside of you. He collapsed on top of you, panting heavily before rolling over so you were laid out on top of him.

You felt his cum leak out of you and onto his thigh as you rested your head on his bare chest. He reached for a random article of clothing that had been discarded on the bed and used it to clean you up before throwing it to the floor. He didn't care what it was, he would deal with it in the morning.

He sat up slowly, pulling you both back towards the pillows, and situating you so he could hold you and look you in the eyes.

He noticed you shiver and pulled the duvet over the both of you before speaking. "I'm sorry I made you feel like you didn't mean anything to me- for hurting you. I did it out of not wanting to seem weak, and yet I did the weakest possible thing I could have ever done." His eyes were filled with remorse and concern, his voice laced with shame. "The truth is I do care about you. The day I realized it was the day I hurt you and sent you away... and if could go back and change how I treated you I would." His voice broke.

"Kylo-" You began to speak but he quickly cut you off.

"If you hate me, please don't tell me." He begged. "I understand why you would, but I don't think I could bear hearing you say it out loud." He now spoke in a low whisper, as if he were terrified of his own vulnerability.

"Kylo I dont hate you, I promise. I just didn't understand you, but now I do and I lo-" You cut yourself off this time, thinking maybe you shouldn't say that to him. You couldn't handle rejection from him for a second time.

"I love you."

You heard his voice say it plain as day, you know he said it. You couldn't have imagined it. You didn't see his lips move, yet Kylo's voice rang loud and clear through your head. Your eyes darted to his and you saw him scanning your face nervously for a reaction.

Your eyes widened. "I love you too."

Is that what my thoughts sound like to him?

Kylo smirked, attempting to hide the large grin threatening to creep across his face. "Yes, I told you they're loud."

You laugh, causing him to laugh with you.

It was such a tender moment. Two human souls laughing together under the warmth of the covers, intertwined with each other, and floating in the vast, inky expanse of the galaxy.

#kylo ren #ben solo #star wars #kylo ren x reader #ben solo x reader #starwars x reader #kylo ren fanfic #ben solo fanfic #starwars fanfic #the force awakens #the last jedi #the rise of skywalker #crucifiedfaerie #saint writes - !#gibson girl #fanfic

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studentbyday · 4 months

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week 1 / small commitments challenge

Summary: I was not focused on my challenge goals this week. I was preoccupied, thinking about the different paths I could take and weighing my options for the next couple of years. Not a bad thing, except I let the thinking invade every moment of my life I had to myself. That includes when I was supposed to be studying ochem and when I was supposed to be sleeping and when I was supposed to just be getting on with my day and doing mindless self-care stuff as quickly as possible so I can dedicate time to what's urgent. Yes, I needed to weigh my options and gather information across multiple days, but I did not have to go about it the way I did. It led to me becoming overtired and having difficulty sleeping which led to me being unable to get through my ochem goals which prevented me from doing anything else. The more tired I became as the week progressed, the worse it got. So my two new priorities for next week are: No. 1: Get enough sleep with a consistent sleep time (9pm be in bed, 10pm at the latest) and wake time (7am ideal but 8am bare minimum). Soothe yourself until you're calm enough to sleep. Like you would a baby (e.g. swaddle, massage/gentle touch, dark room, don't voluntarily subject yourself to anything stressful or overstimulating in the half hour before bed). That's how you stop and keep out of the overtired cycle. No. 2: Lots of meditation throughout the day! 5-10 mins when I wake up, minimum of 10-15 mins before bed (unless perhaps i feel less frazzled thanks to the meditation breaks which help me stay focused throughout the day? idk), and 1-2 minutes in between big tasks (those that take 2h or more) in order to reset my mind before I move onto the next task and give my brain a rest after processing lots of info on a deep level, so it can sustain that level of activity throughout the day and the rest of the week. I'm hoping that by prioritizing rest, I can succeed at my new study routine (which has also changed from last week as my priorities have changed...yet again) and work more efficiently and quickly while staying cool in mind! A chaotic breakdown of the week aka my sleep-deprived end-of-day gibberish where I try to make sense of everything that's happened lies below 😅

Monday: sleep deprived -> slow start to the day -> quite behind schedule. i listened to 1 and a half chemistry lectures, added to the notes from last week, read and annotated 1 of the 2 sets of notes i'm supposed to read this week, and answered all except 4 questions of a practice quiz on last week's material. asides from this, i did 1/3 of an Algebra 1 lesson, took a nap, and practiced driving.

Tuesday: later start than yesterday bc i wanted to get enough sleep. overall worth it, but that meant there wasn't enough time to get everything done and there were lots of distractions to field. i only did ochem and practiced driving today. i didn't even finish all the ochem i wanted to (i finished 1.5 lectures again, added to notes, started reading the second set of notes for this week, and answered 1/4 of the questions for 1 of 2 assignments for this week). i'm still trying to find a routine that works for this subiect bc it's really condensed (most weeks cover 2 lengthy modules at once 😭) and it's not a subject that's that easy to feel confident in just right off the bat...at least for me 😅 who knows, perhaps for the time being, i'll have to spend more than 4 hours on it a day until i feel confident in the fundamentals?? i also have lots to improve on in my lecture notetaking skills (i.e. trust my memory more and write down notes only AFTER i finish watching a lecture instead of attempting to write notes DURING the lecture and getting confused -> rewinding)

Wednesday: my problem this week is that i'm very distracted. still trying to figure out which path is best for me (i.e. to transfer uni or change program within my uni if that's possible...definitely probably shouldn't stick with my current program tho, that's one thing i've pretty much decided), asking around, doing my own research, trying to think of any combo of reasonable options i haven't explored yet (this is what i was doing for a lot of today). i really hate unresolved issues. they stick around in my head until it's resolved and even if i'm not actively thinking about it, i can still feel its presence in the back of my mind (and if it's big and concerning enough, it will keep bugging me at inconvenient intervals)! 😤 and this issue will stay unresolved until i have made a decision. and even then, i might still question it until enough time passes to show me that it was the right decision 😅 it's like...either i'm in "re-assess" mode aka "question every decision i have made and could make and predict to the best of my knowledge where it will lead me and do i like where it leads me?" mode (WHICH CANNOT ALL BE ANSWERED IN ONE SITTING SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SCHEDULE THIS?!?! 😵‍💫😫), or "put your head down and do the work" mode wherein i'm in danger of losing sight of the bigger picture. i swing from one to the other whenever smth happens to make me realize i've stayed too long in one mode. (like in this case where i was feeling very annoyed with my current lifestyle, finally decided to say "fuck it" to my strong desire to stay within my comfort zone, and explored other options and their pros and cons which included grad school admission requirements 🤦🏻‍♀️). i'm grateful to have this many options, but today i got so overwhelmed by them and the deadlines by which i need to have made a decision and the fact that there's a lot of ochem this week to do which is more urgent but also not as existentially worrying that i decided to rid myself of the mounting anxiety with a cardio abs workout. 🥵😮‍💨😮‍💨 it worked...but now i am so pooped and don't wanna get up 😅 (update: i did get up and did a little more ochem)

Thursday: too tired to do all the ochem i wanted to (i did a little reading, a little bit of lecture watching, and finished the last 3 Qs on 1 of 2 assignments this week). i keep letting myself get overtired with my overthinking against my better judgment (like, especially after an intense workout the day before??? girl, you need to sleep!!!). anyway, i've finally pretty much decided to just switch programs at my current uni but i don't think i'll really believe i've made the decision (objectively! all on my own! using a weighted pros and cons list! 😁) until the end of this week. 😅 it will still be a more rigorous program, although not in the ways i expected (but still good!), and it will challenge me in all the right ways but i won't rack up as much expense (thank goodness! 🙏🏻) and it will be a shorter commute and i will get to spend more time with family which is just such a relief. i don't want to fall into the rat race mentality, tho sometimes i think i need to. but perhaps that's just FOMO and comparing myself against others in an unhealthy way. like, i don't actually want a rat-race/hustle culture type of life for myself if i have the option not to live one, yet i sometimes feel like i need to be a completely different person living a completely different lifestyle in order to really make it in this society...well, there are many ways to skin a cat.

Friday: ochem lab, watching another lecture, reading the ch, working on ochem assignment, and driving.

Weekend: sleepy. reset routine and family time. finishing up ochem submissions for this past week (done is better than perfect! 😤) and driving.

#studyblr #becoming that girl #but make it chaotic and more neurotic and a wip than you would think for a ''that girl''#chaotic academia #dark academia #studyspo #study motivation #study aesthetic #small commitments challenge #100dop #heydilli #astudentslifebuoy #mittonstudies #digital diary

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phoenix-and-found-family · 4 months

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Vadas tightened the final strap while humming softly.

"~You're just a cog in my machine...~"

The figure in the chair didn't respond, their mismatched eyes staring ahead blankly, awaiting instructions.

She didn't particularly like using their Orion state in this manner. It was designed to kill, so it should be used to kill. But any other state would give them some way to escape, and she knew they would. That's the problem with making The Phoenix - controlling them afterwards.

She stepped back and smiled.

"There we go, mi pequeña creación."

She took out the voice modulator and set it to that little brat.

"Orion protocol deactivation phrase: Sisyphus."

"Deactivation command received."

They blinked, suddenly groggy.

"Wh... Where am.. I?"

She walked through the door, closing it behind her.

"They're ready for you."

The man would have looked ominous to anyone but her. He sat in the shadows, his robotic red eyes shifting up to look at her face. His dark red suit seemed to flow like blood. His prosthetic limbs creaked a little in protest as he stood up.

Honestly, if she didn't know better, she would say this man was a villain.

"About time."

She rolled her eyes.

"You of all people should know how hard it is to restrain one for any significant length of time."

"I highly doubt that they were struggling."

She kicked him in the foot, producing a clonk.

"How long did your Phoenix spend being kidnapped by Juniper?"

His face immediately melted into rage. She saw the claw of his left hand pierce through the top of her shirt and pull her closer, upwards towards his eyes.

"Don't you dare talk about them, Prism."

She stared him down, unafraid.

"Let go of me, Crane."

A tense few heartbeats passed before he slowly lowered her to the floor.

"...I... apologize."

She didn't respond as he walked towards the door.

"For the record, it's Vadas and you know it."

He chuckled dryly.

"You never call me The Basilisk, now do you?"

He opened the door and walked in on his newest prey.

oh god damnit

this should not have been this ominous I'm wondering what's going on and I'm the one writing it

I had to Google what hunts Phoenixes and Basilisk came up but if people have other name suggestions then please let me know

this is going to be a two parter btw, I'm not just leaving it at that

@wyvchard @the-one-and-only-043 this is what's going on with them while they're getting kidnapped! We might want to save them soon :3

#agent phoenix #reginald crane #the handler #dr prism #ieytd oc #dr. revolt vadas #dr. vadas #the basilisk ieytd #the phoenix hunter ieytd #you can't cage a phoenix arc

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dojae-huh · 5 months

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Youth: first listen

First of all. It's the first time the parasocial relationship I have with Doyoung mutated into a parasocial friendship of sorts, heh. The feeling is of cheering for a friend's project's success. I guess it is for two reasons: 1) the reverse order of things (instead of "like a song (my choice, I'm the active party)->discover artist behind", it is "like an artist->listen to what he gives you (artist's choice, I'm a passive party)", 2) I have artist friends whose drawing style I'm not particularly a fan of (i.e. I wouldn't care for it if it was made by someone else, a noname to me), but I still follow and consume their art, because I care for people behind and I know the character/thoughts/POV of the artist, which changes my perceptions).

I've listened to the album only once by the time I'm writing this post. My first impession is that there are no weak songs (yokshi, perfectionist Doyoung), and that I'm glad it is more diverse in sound and voice modulations than Korean ballads and songs usually are. As I like richness in songs.

Me and some of the readers had been apprehensive of Doyoung catering to fans and going gp friendly road. Thankfully, Doyoung is a mastermind afterall. The album is both for the fans and the general public and for himself. Half/half.

The album seems to be divided in the following parts:

Prologue: Beginning and Little light.

The main character of a Disney animation movie sets on a journey. A proclamation of intent to sing for a long time, of a goal to reach as many "stars" (hearts/listeners). "Beginning" was penned by Do himself (and, honestly, really reminded me Mulan or Moana, heh). For "Little light" he befriended Lucy's composer (they are both 96-line, btw). Considering the timing, it seems to be one of the last songs to be added. A song Doyoung needed for his vision of the album. The song was gifted to him (the composer's words), written the way he commissioned it. In other words, it is his story and his feelings, he debuted with HIS song, even if written by someone else (but for him).

2. First chapter: A letter to fans.

"From little wave" has lyrics by Doyoung. It is a song for the fans, a message to them.

3. Second chapter: Friends. Dreams come true.

"Time machine" was written by Mark, he and Taeyeon featured. Do is a known SNSD fan, a fan of Taeyeon and her friend. Mark has been Do's favourite kid since pre-debut. When the news broke, fans immidiently remembered how Do gifted Mark notebooks for writing lyrics. Let's also remember how Do sent a food-truck to Mark's first solo MV, always hyped him on IG. I think Do supports Mark as a musician in particular. Mark is a rapper in NCT, however, he wants to sing with the guitar. And that what he did on the track. A step towards his own dream, him as a songwriter and singer.

Both collabs are very meaningful and have roots in the past.

The redheaded teenager who didn't know what to do really and his prodigy baby growing up and becoming world known artists.

Do already has songs with Haechan (Maniac, Coming home), plus Hyuk has started songwriting attempts much later than Mark. He is not ready yet. Taeyong is a different story, I will share my thoughts about it later.

"Time machine" sounds like a song that will be covered a lot on Korean shows by other artists. It has that appeal. It seems relatively easy to sing (or, rather, it can be re-arranged to be simpler), and it is fit for a duet.

Chapter 4: A song for the Boyfriend.

I agree that "Serenade" seems to be the song for Jaehyun. The sound Jae likes, the placement on the album (after "friends"). It is the only positive love song on the album. For Doyoung singing is personal. It is his dream, his calling. Therefore, I wasn't expecting a lot of individual attention for Jae (opposite can be said about the upcoming Jae's album). The album is not for him. He is part of "my youth" and "the sea/warmth", and he knows it. One song is enough.

The song feels more like a gift than a dedication, though. There is no intensity or rawness (like the cover of Buzzi's "Mine" had, heh).

Chapter 5: Gems.

"Rewind" and "Warmth" are the type of songs that are popular in Korea. Do did covers of similar songs. This sound is expected from him. These two love stories are "for fans and general public" songs. Personally selected, but not too personal. Just beautiful songs to sing. Both songs reflect general experiences of youth (first love/first relationships that didn't mean to be and being alone/looking for meaningful connections). "Warmth" kind of repeats the first songs thematically.

Chapter 6: Doyoung the band vocalist.

"Lost in California" and "Rest" are band songs. Back to school. These are songs for Doyoung himself. Do's long-lasting dream of singing with a band, singing under open air on festivals, being a rock-star. The first one is Do's "28 reasons", a song where he can have fun and play with vocals. "Rest" is also an inspirational, supportive song. The was Do always cheered his fans on, talked about that it's OK to rest on the floor for a bit and start anew the next day.

Chapter 7: NCT 127

"Dallas love field" (a name for a small airport, apparently) is a song fully made by Kenzie, Do's noona. So it was for him, no doubt. Maybe we will hear the story behind one day. The lyrics about "pain being beautiful" made me think back to the trainee days. Although the lyrics alone could be read as JaeDo-coded, the sound, the upbeat melody, the chorus of male voices on ''chasing dreams so far" make it 127. Rookies and their dreams of debut, neos and their dreams for solo careers, NCT and Dreams.

Funny enough. This song sounds like anime Ending, heh. The main character's promise "to be continued". I liked how Do gave us a new tone to his voice in this song.

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millersdjarin · 1 year

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I Only See Daylight - 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rating: E

Chapter Warnings/Tags: violence, injury, fighting, religious cults/religious trauma, past arranged/forced marriage, past emotional & physical abuse

Chapter Length: 6k

Previous Chapter | Series Masterlist & Info | Full Masterlist

notes: second to last one - i'm not ready. hope you enjoy <3

you’ve got to step into the daylight

You’re woken up by a gentle beeping noise.

It takes you a moment to realise that you were asleep in the first place. You’re not in bed, instead sitting up, sitting…on something both hard and soft?

You blink fully awake just in time to see a beskar-covered arm reach out from behind you and press a button on the control panel. Everything comes back into focus.

You’re in the cockpit, and you’re in Din’s lap. You’ve got your shoulder pressed into his chest plate, one of his arms around your back and supporting your weight, while your legs are tucked up as far as they will go onto his lap; your boots must be digging into his thighs even with the armour there to protect him. Your head is tucked under his neck, pushed into the scratchy fabric of his cowl.

“Incoming transmission from Fett,” Din’s modulated voice, carefully quiet, fills your ears.

You frown and look to the panel. It’s daylight still. “How long was I asleep?” Vaguely, you remember climbing into his lap late morning, opting to curl up there as you felt tiredness overtake you. He’d been going over some maps and navigational charts, and the kid was playing in the co-pilot’s seat. You didn’t want to take a proper nap, and honestly, you just wanted Din to hold you. But didn’t want to distract him from his work.

So, here you are.

“Not long,” Din answers.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to like, hold you down in the chair.”

He chuckles softly. “Figured you needed the sleep.” A message appears in blue Aurubesh before you, hovering in the air. You don’t bother reading it, opting instead to settle back against his shoulder.

“What’s he say?” You ask sleepily.

Din sighs. Oh, great.

Reluctantly, you lift your head again. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

His arm tightens around you. “No. Well, depends how you look at it. They’ve…set up a meeting.”

“Oh,” something sharp stabs in your stomach. “Oh. That’s…that’s good, right?”

“Yeah,” he says in a tone that sound suspiciously like another sigh, “yeah, it is. Maybe this thing can finally be over.”

That something sharp turns into something…nicer. Maybe excitement. Maybe just hope. Either way, it’s a feeling you never thought you’d have and, honestly, a feeling that scares you just a little.

You hold tight to Din’s cape over his shoulders, staring at the message on the panel. “Maybe,” you whisper. “Where are we going? I assume it’s we, since they want proof that I’m loved, and all that.”

He sighs. Again. His fist clenches on your thigh. “We’re meeting them on Scarif. Neutral territory, not far from here. Two days’ time.”

“Scarif? Isn’t that a tropical planet? Pretty small, right?”

“Relatively, yes. It’s largely unoccupied since the Empire fell. Not a lot of settlements, a lot of places to have a confrontation.”

“So that’s what it’s going to be? A confrontation?”

The helmet tilts to look at you. He pauses for a second, as if considering not your question, but you. “We’re going to be okay,” he says. “I promise.”

You nod. Because you know you are. You’ve got Din. “I know,” you say truthfully, despite the fear that stirs in your gut. “It’s just…a lot. But I’m excited to prove my family wrong about the being loved thing.”

“Me, too.”

“I don’t want to call them that anymore.”

“What, your family?”

“Yeah. They’re not my family.” You duck your head, averting your eyes, though his remain on you. Your fingers play with the fabric of his cape, your other hand scratching nervously at your trousers. “You’re my family. You and the kid.”

Din nods. “We are. And that’s why we’re going to be okay.”

You nuzzle your face into his neck. You’ve felt your nose against his bare skin enough, now, to be able to imagine what it feels like, even when it’s covered. His arms wrap around you as you settle into him again, one arm sliding around your legs to hold them up and the other around your body, meeting his hand on the other side. He’s cradling you, holding you so close and so firm that there’s nothing else to feel except safe.

“I’m taking the kid to Peli while we do this,” Din announces as you’re setting up the ship for take off. “Are you okay with that?”

He’s…asking you for your opinion about parenting his kid.

“If you think it’s best,” you say, smiling and hoping it hides the heat that is rising in your chest and on your cheeks, “You know that’s all I want.”

“I know. I don’t want you to think I’m doing it because I think we’re in danger, I just…”

“We are in danger,” you say with a shrug. “Technically. Maybe not mortal danger, but if they know we have a kid, they could use it against us. Besides, if he’s safe off-world, our minds will be focused on just getting shit done.”

He nods. “That’s what I thought, too.”

You’d tried not to think about how it would feel to see Them again.

When you did think about it, you imagined you’d have a lot to say. That you’d want to shout and scream, to tell them that they were wrong about you, that you have found a life outside of them, that the Galaxy isn’t inherently evil outside of the cult. That you’ve found people who love you. Who will fight for you. That you’re worthy of that. That you’re still beautiful, and always will be, no matter how much they tried.

You thought you’d want to tell them how much you hate them.

But, now that you’re faced with them, you don’t find any words coming. More than that: you don’t find yourself wanting to say anything to them.

Because they don’t deserve your breath. They don’t deserve a thought. Even a moment.

You, Din, Boba, and a dozen of Boba’s men stand on an isolated beach on Scarif. It’s hot, the sun beating down on your covered skin.

Din is behind you, blocking off and watching the rear. Fett takes up the same position at your front, facing Them. You’re surrounded by beskar, and Fett’s men are all around, guarding.

The cult brought an army, too. Though they’re not visibly armed. (They never are. Apparently it’s part of maintaining the image. Even here, when they’re having a confrontation with a Daimyo from Tatooine where their literal daughter is the bargaining chip. Such an image of purity and wholeness.)

“As you can see,” Fett says across the No-Man’s-Land between the two groups of people, “we have her, safe and protected. And our threat to cut off all supply routes and payment chains, if her freedom is not granted, still stands.”

He grins. He still looks the same. Not your father, or even your brother. No, it’s Him. The man you were supposed to marry. Because, of course they sent him. They probably thought he could manipulate you into leaving with him.

He’s looking right at you, all lopsided grin and eyes that you can still see the blue of, even from a few metres away. “The way I hear it, darling, you’ve found yourself a new man.” He steps closer. Fett goes tense in front of you, raising his rifle just a little. “Tell me, does the Mandalorian know what you really look like under there?”

Despite yourself, despite the fact that you know his words are pointless, that they hold no weight, something painful stabs at your stomach. You force it away and grit your teeth, not gratifying him with a response.

“We are not here for personal taunts and threats,” Fett says surely. “This is a business meeting.”

“Yeah, so I’m told. Thing is, though, Fett…” he steps closer again, but Shand, who’s standing beside Fett, raises her rifle and tells him that’s close enough. His eyes fall to her for a second, then back to Fett, unbothered. “See, we don’t exactly believe your threats. You might be powerful, but we know that you had to fight for that power, and that you know perfectly well that taking charge of supply and trade routes like this would almost definitely guarantee your downfall as Daimyo.”

Din tenses behind you. Dread curls in your gut.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

They know. They know it’s a bluff.

You want to reach back and take Din’s hand. Feel his fingers curl around yours, feel his reassurance.

But he’s got his blaster in one hand, the other reaching for something in the pack around his hips. Readying himself for a battle.

Shit. Your heart is racing now.

And He is still grinning, looking right at you, like Fett isn’t even there anymore. “So, tell me, my betrothed. The deal we propose is this: you come quietly with me, no heroics from your over-glorified Mandalorians, and we don’t tell the all-important businessmen in Fett’s town that he used their businesses as bargaining chips. How does that sound?”

You keep your mouth glued shut. He doesn’t deserve your answer. Even though he’s looking at you and only you, even though he’s made it so that, somehow, the fate of Fett’s entire empire is now on your shoulders.

You feel Din’s hand brush against yours. It’s subtle enough that no one will see it, but you know what he’s saying. He’s showing you reassurance, solidarity.

“I think this meeting is over,” Fett says into the tense quiet. He’s still so calm, even though his entire rule has just been threatened.

“You aren’t worried what will happen when the suppliers find out what you’ve done?”

Fett is already backing away and you’re following, still sandwiched between the two walls of beskar. “I don’t respond to threats and ultimatums. Do what you will with our meeting.” His voice is final, very clearly indicating that the conversation is done, that he is done here.

But He’s not having it.

“Sorry,” He says, “I didn’t say we were done.”

Then, it all happens very quickly.

You’re not sure which you notice first: whether you first see the cult’s army pulling their weapons, or if you first hear blaster bolts against beskar, and grunts and bodies falling to the ground.

Either way, the shooting has started. Blasters are firing out into the air, the beskar on either side of you clinking with each hit. You’re being jostled between Fett and Din, finding yourself turning to face Din’s back, hiding your head in the cape where it’s draped there to the side of his jet pack.

“Stay behind me,” Din says, as if you were planning on moving. There are screams and shouts all around you, a mix of the cult and Fett’s army’s voices. You don’t know who’s winning. Your heart is racing, pounding in your ears so fast you can barely hear the battle, and your shaking hands are grabbing at the flight suit around Din’s waist, desperate to anchor yourself to something. To him.

Despite the armour at your front and back, you feel exposed. Your sides are still out in the open, there are people shooting all around you, you keep getting knocked all around the sand by Din and Fett’s quick movements, your back hurts so much as your adrenaline spikes, and all you want to do is run run run—

“Get back to the ship!” Fett calls to Din.

Din turns to you, then, blaster bolts still hitting against his back. He looks down at you, encases you in his arms. “Hold on to me,” he tells you, “arms around me. I’m flying us out of here. Come on.”

You do as he says, but you’re shaking. It takes you a second, your knees threatening to give out at any moment now that your hands aren’t grabbing his suit anymore.

As you wrap your arms around his neck, and he bends down to hook his arm beneath your knees, something happens.

Fett gets shot, and Din gets shot at the same time. Not with simple blasters; with something bigger. Two bigger things. Thankfully the armour catches the heat of them, the bolts that would have killed them both, but the impact of it sends Fett flying into your back and shoves Din forward over you. He stumbles from his half-crouched position and all but falls on top of you, and you’re on the ground, suddenly, sand flying up into the air around you and getting in your mouth. All you can hear is your heart and the shouting. Din is trying to grab hold of you and stand up at the same time, but the bigger thing that’s shooting hits again, and again, and again, he’s stumbling—

There are other hands grabbing you. Harder, violent. Dragging you across the sand, away from Din, who is running after you with his blaster pointed at whoever is currently hauling you up from the ground and using you as a human shield—

You’re kicking and screaming, flailing to try and hit the person. It’s no use. They grab your hands, pin them behind your back. With their other hand, they hold a blaster right up to your head.

Din stops in his tracks. Freezes.

Tears fill your eyes as you feel the muzzle pressed into your temple. You realise that it’s Him when you hear his voice, right in your ear.

“I’m taking you home,” he says, loud enough for Din to hear even above the sounds of battle, “And there’s nothing your precious Mandalorian can do about it.” You expect him to start to drag you away, to move out of Din’s blaster sight as quickly as possible. But, true to himself, he stands there, using you like a tease. A taunt.

“Let her go,” Din demands.

He laughs. Gleeful. It makes you feel sick. “I have a blaster pointed at her head. I don’t take demands from you. I just wanted you to see this, Mando. To see that all your efforts mean nothing. You can’t protect her—you never could. No one can, not like I can.”

“Din,” you whimper, “it’s okay. Let me go.”

“Not happening.”

“She’s not yours, Mando, don’t you see that? She belongs to us. To me. She always did. It’s her destiny to be with me, with her family; you took her away from that one too many times, and look where it’s landed you.”

The battle is still raging on. Behind Din, there are bodies littering the sand, some too injured to fight, some dead. Fett is fucking flying in the sky, his jet pack burning fiercely beneath him as he fires at those on the ground. It’s chaos, complete chaos, all because of you.

And yet, over here by the tree line, it’s just Din, your ex-fiancé, and you. Somehow, all seems quiet beneath the pounding of your heart, the rushing of blood in your ears.

There’s nothing Din can do. You both know that, despite His taunts, despite him thinking he has some kind of a claim on you—he won’t hesitate to fire the blaster. He won’t fire it in your skull; he won’t kill you. But he will hurt you.

You look at Din. Plead with him with your eyes. If he leaves now, he can make it back to Tatooine, get Grogu, and get to safety. Then one day, he can come to rescue you. You know he will. You know he can.

That’s how this ends. It has to be. That’s all you can do.

Except, when you really look at Din, you don’t see desperation in his body language. In fact, he drops his blaster. Your heart skips a beat; you’re not sure if it’s because you’re glad he’s standing down and that you or him isn’t going to get hurt again, or if it’s actually just terror, because suddenly it’s like he’s giving up.

He’s reaching into his belt. Into some hidden pack or holster you’ve not seen before. “Let her go,” he threatens, low and terrifying, “let her go, or you’ll regret it.” He steps closer.

The monster’s arms tighten around you. “Don’t come any closer,” he says, just a hint of fear behind his determined and taunting voice. “I will hurt her. I promise you that. And it will be on your hands.”

Din sighs. Long-suffering and unexpected.

Then.

Well, then.

He pulls something from the holster. Something long, square, silver. Like the hilt of a sword; a sword without a blade. Your brow twists, confusion breaking through the fear racing in your veins.

“You think a blade-less sword scares me?” The monster laughs like it’s the most entertaining thing in the Galaxy. And, as much as you hate to admit it, you kind of agree with him. You’ve never seen whatever this is before, and you don’t get it. Is it some kind of…detonator? A strangely designed blaster? Is he supposed to attach the blade, or something?

Your question is answered. But it only brings more questions.

He pushes on the hilt, and a blade extends from it. Not a blade of metal, stone, nor even of something trivial like wood. It’s some kind of energy, a black so deep that somehow it shines in its own right, surrounded by shimmering white all around the edges. It’s square, flat, glowing bright even beneath the intense sunlight of this planet, tapering off at the tip in a sharp diagonal line.

It’s…it’s a fucking lightsaber.

It’s not a lightsaber.

But it is.

The confusion is evident in the air in an instant. So much so that His grip loosens on you, and he’s distracted enough in his bafflement for the blaster to drop from your head. You take the opportunity to elbow him in the ribs, sending him stumbling backwards.

“Get back,” Din says to you, so simply, offering no explanation as he stalks towards Him, swiping at him with the sword, a strange sort of humming sound accompanying it—

A grunt, a cry, then the thud of a body falling to the sand. You turn on the spot and see Him, still alive, a burning hole seared into his thigh. He’s screaming, writhing in pain, watching as Mando turns away from him like he no longer matters, the blade still in his hand, running over to you on his way to the still-fighting crowd—

You don’t have chance to ask.

“Stay here. No one’s going to touch you.”

After that, all you can do is watch.

The sword is like an extension of him. You couldn’t explain the sound that it makes if you tried, but after a while, you don’t notice it. It becomes part of his arsenal, of his armour, more than his blaster has ever been—you didn’t think that was possible. He flows with it and it flows with him. It sounds heavy, clumsy, but he’s using it like it’s anything but.

And, oh, is he using it.

And it’s fucking terrifying everyone.

He cuts through every single one of the cult army with a fury that you’ve never seen before, with such concentrated and practiced competence—and sheer anger—that you can only stand there and watch, baffled and fucking impressed. It only takes a moment for people to start running from him, screaming, begging for mercy. No one saw this coming; the confusion has caught them off guard and left them nothing but vulnerable. They’re stumbling on the sand and screaming before he stabs them, slices them, cuts right through them.

Some manage to fight through their fear and try to shoot at him, but he either ducks, or deflects the blaster bolts back at them with his blade.

The whole thing is taken care of in minutes. Din moves through all of them with ease. With red-hot, unbridled rage, so fierce that he is in complete control.

You hadn’t realised you’d fallen to the sand. You’d even forgotten that He was behind you, still making pained noises and trying to crawl backwards into the forest. It’s no use; his leg has stopped working.

Once every cult member except for Him is down, burning and smoking in the sand, Din turns back to you. He runs over, crouches down in front of you.

His hand comes to your face. He’s still holding the sword in his other hand, the blade humming and buzzing out at his side. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He asks, and his voice is so soft, such a stark contrast to what he’s just done.

You shake your head. “I’m okay,” you pant, “Din, I…what just…what just happened, I—?”

“I’ll explain later,” he says. Then, “I love you.”

The breath in your lungs isn’t strong enough to ask him more, or even to say it back. He walks past you, and you spin on your butt in the sand, watching as he goes over to Him.

He’s not bold and taunting anymore.

He’s cowering. Covering his face.

“Please,” he begs, “please, I—you don’t have to kill me, I—I saw what you did, I—”

“Good,” Din says. He’s so calm. Collected. He crouches down, leaning his elbow on one of his knees. His other hand takes the sword and holds it up in the space between them. “So you know what I’m capable of.”

“Yes! I—yes, I—”

“You don’t have to talk,” Din assures him. Gods, if this wasn’t so fucking intense, you’d find that tone of voice so fucking hot.

“No, I—I promise—she’s free, she—”

“I could have killed you,” he says, “I could have tortured you to death with this blade alone, just for everything you said earlier, if nothing else. You feel how much that blade hurts? Just one stab from it?”

“Please—”

“If anyone ever comes for her again,” Din says lowly, sliding the edge of his blade right up to His neck. The heat of it sends smoke billowing up, only just burning at his skin—“If anyone ever even thinks about coming for her, for me, for any of us…I promise you worse than this. I will make you hurt, and I will kill everyone you know and love. If you ever touch her again, if you ever try to contact her again, try to take her again, there is nowhere in the Galaxy that you or your people could hide from me. Do you understand?”

He’s nodding frantically, sweat and tears pouring down his sand-covered cheeks. “Yes! I understand, I—”

“Tell me it’s a deal.”

“It’s a deal!”

“A deal made in blood. Don’t break it.”

“Yes! I promise! I swear, she’s free, I—”

Din punches him so hard it sends his head flopping about on his neck.

He falls to the floor. Goes quiet.

You’re breathless. Panting for air. Terrified, relieved, and aroused all at once.

Din stands up. Staring down at the unconscious mess of your ex-fiancé, his shoulders rising and falling with heavy breaths, he presses a button on the hilt, and the blade retracts once more. The sound is gone, leaving just the flow of the waves, the noises of battle aftermath behind you.

“Din,” you whisper.

He turns around to you in an instant. “Are you okay?” He asks you again, putting the hilt back in its holster and coming back to you. “Are you sure you’re not hurt?” His hand finds your face, and he’s checking you all over, making sure you’re okay.

“I’m alright. A little bruised up, but I’m fine. Din…” you catch his wrist, call his eyes back to you. “Din, what…what was that?”

His thumb strokes at your cheek. “I’ll explain later, I promise,” he says. “For now, we need to help Fett and his men.”

The reality of your surroundings is suddenly at the forefront of your mind again, slamming into you like a rock. “Yeah,” you pant, “yeah. Is—is everyone—?”

“I don’t know. Fett and Shand are still alive and well. I don’t know how many we lost.”

The tears that rise in your eyes are painful, aching. Guilt settles in your throat.

Like he’s reading your mind, he shakes his head. “Don’t,” he says, “this isn’t your fault.”

“It…it is, Din, I…I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t,” he says again. “Not now. Come on, we have a job to do, okay? I’ve got you. You’re safe. Let’s make sure everyone else is.”

“So, just to clarify, you’re not a Jedi.”

He chuckles. “No, I’m not a Jedi, Cyar’ika.”

“But the kid is, and you’re the one with a lightsaber?”

“We balance each other out.” You can hear the smirk in his voice. He’s dabbing a cleaning wipe over a small scratch on your eyebrow. It stings, but it’s hardly the worst pain you’ve felt recently. “How’s that feel?” He asks.

“It’s fine. Just a scratch.”

Din nods. He gets a tiny bandage and sticks it over the cut, then runs his fingertip over it, making sure it’s secure. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

You shake your head. “I’m fine. Are you hurt?”

“No.”

There are footsteps on the ramp, and both of you turn to find Boba and Fennec standing in the ship’s doorway.

“Everything okay?” Fett asks.

Something like guilt twists in your stomach at the sight of him; knowing that he’s lost men here today, because of Them.

“We’re alright,” Din tells him with a nod. “I’m sorry about how things played out back there.”

Fett nods. His helmet is under his arm, and there’s a cut on his cheek, but he seems otherwise unscathed. Shand looks just as calm and collected as always; like she’s not even been in a fight at all. “It was not your fault.”

“It was my plan,” Din says, and you realise, then, that his voice sounds just as heavy with guilt as your chest usually feels. It hurts to hear it. It’s not his fault. None of this is.

But, you think, it’s not really yours, either.

And that feels weird to think.

“It was a good plan,” Fett says. “And it worked out in the end. I am just glad you have your freedom,” he looks over to Din’s shoulder to you.

“Thank you,” you find yourself saying in a croaky voice, trying to hold back tears. Your freedom. “I don’t know how I could possibly express…”

Fett holds up a hand to stop you. “There’s no need. You’re Mando’s partner, and that makes you a friend of mine.”

Something warm hits your chest, spreads through it like liquid sunshine. You swallow back your tears and nod respectfully. “Thank you. And…I’m sorry. About…your men.”

“Their deaths have been avenged,” Fett says, then looks back to Din, “thank you.”

Din nods once. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Next time you’re on Tatooine, come and find me for a drink. You’re always welcome to stay. We’d be happy to have you,” he looks at you again, “all of you.”

You smile and nod, just a little shy all of a sudden.

“Until next time, my friend,” he and Din shake hands, and then the doorway is empty again, Fett and Shand heading back out onto the beach and into the sun.

Din turns to you. You look at him and frown. “You know it’s not your fault,” you say, “right?”

Softly, he sighs. “Do you know it’s not yours?”

You’re surprised by your answer. Even more surprised by how quickly it comes; how easily it falls from your tongue. “Actually, yes, I do,” you reply, your voice cracking just a little over the tears in your throat. “I think, finally, I do.”

Din steps closer. He reaches out, places his gloved hands on your cheeks.

“I can’t promise I’ll always remember that,” you say, “but, right now, yeah. I know it’s not my fault. Seeing Them, seeing Him…” you shake your head and glance away for a second, then look back up, your eyes gaze deeply into his visor, “it reminded me that none of it was my fault. I didn’t ask for it, I was only a child. It was on them to treat me right and take care of me, and they didn’t. Even though my escape is the reason for all of…this, I…I don’t know. Things just feel…different.��

Din nods like he understands. Maybe he does. He’s quiet for a second, just smoothing his thumbs over your cheekbones. You can’t see his face, but you can see it in your mind, and that’s enough. Kriff, that’s enough.

When he speaks, his voice is quiet, husky, “I’m so proud of you, you know that?”

You were holding back tears so well.

Trust Din to say something so meaningful that makes them fall onto your cheeks at last.

“Hey,” he says softly, “don’t cry.”

You shake your head. “They’re not bad tears. I promise, I—I just…no one’s ever said that to me before.”

“That they’re proud of you?”

“Yeah. Never.”

“Well,” he presses his forehead into yours, “I’ll say it as many times as you want. I’m so proud of you. And I love you.”

Your eyes fall closed and tears tumble over the edges of them, slowly crawling down your cheeks. You nod, nuzzling your nose into his helmet. Your hands close around his wrists where his palms are on your cheeks, fingers brushing away your tears. “I love you,” you whisper. “So much.” You want to kiss him. Rip off his clothes and have him pin you against the wall and touch you until only his name comes from your lips.

He killed for you today. He risked everything for you. For your freedom. He cut through all of those monsters like it was nothing; brought out his most sacred weapon to take them all down when they threatened your life, when they tried to take you away.

And now here he is, the same hands that held that saber so expertly and swung it at anyone who dared try and hurt you, so soft now on your face and your skin. Touching you like you’re different than anything else in the Galaxy; like you’re his favourite thing he’s ever held.

“Din,” you whisper as a pang of desperation for him stabs your belly, “can we get out of here?”

He nods. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

First thing’s first—shower.

Din lets you go first while he removes and cleans his armour. It’s covered in sand and soot and blaster marks. Just as you’re washing the last of the conditioner from your hair, you hear a soft knock on the door, and Din’s voice calling your name.

“Come in,” you say.

He does. He’s already naked, carrying towels under his arm. He places them on the sink and then steps over to the shower corner of the small room, reaching out for you before he’s even come closer.

He stinks, and he’s filthy. You help him wash the parts that are harder to reach, finding sand in all sorts of places—it really does get under the armour—and a few scratches here and there on his arms and stomach. He washes his hair while you run a washcloth over his back, enjoying the feel of his muscles beneath your hands.

Then, the tiredness comes.

You’d kind of hoped you could fuck in the shower once you were clean. Or fuck anywhere you wanted—either way, just fuck. But you’re so kriffing tired, exhaustion falling over you in a sudden wave that has you both trudging out of the ’fresher once you’re clean and dressed again.

“You okay?” Din asks, reaching for his helmet.

“Fucking tired.”

“Me, too. Maybe we should rest before we pick up the kid.”

You sigh, heading towards your bed. “Here I was hoping we could make the most of the alone time.”

“What were you thinking?” He asks with a lilt in his voice, like he already knows the answer.

“Wanted to fuck you in the shower,” you answer candidly, crawling up the bed.

He chokes on a laugh behind you. “Dank farrik. Missed my moment, did I?”

“I’m sure we can find it again,” you roll on to your back, watching as Din reaches out to put his helmet on the shelf by the bed. He crawls up along the mattress, settling himself beside you. He’s just wearing his underclothes, the fabric thin enough that you can feel his warmth the second he pulls you into him. You tuck your head under his chin, tangle your legs together.

Quiet passes for a moment as you both shuffle to get comfortable. Your hair is wet and so is Din’s, probably already soaking through the pillows. It doesn’t matter. Right now, nothing else matters but this.

“Hey, Din?”

“Mm?” He hums in response, twirling some of your hair around his finger.

You hold him tighter. “Thank you,” you say.

“For what?”

“For everything. For today, for right now, for all of it.”

His lips press to the top of your head, long and lingering. He holds you in closer for a moment. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“I do,” you insist. “And I will.”

“Then I get to thank you, too.”

“What for?”

“The same as you. For everything.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You’ve given me everything,” he murmurs into your hair, cradling the back of your head with his hand. “You and the kid have given me everything, Cyar’ika. Today, right now, all the days we’ve been together. You’ve given me the future, too.”

Tears are welling in your eyes. You’re definitely over-tired, but honestly, you’d probably cry at his words even after a full night’s rest. “I love you,” you push your hips into his, pressing a kiss to his neck. “I love you, Din.”

“I love you, too,” he whispers. “So much, Cyar’ika.”

All you can do is nod in agreement; in appreciation.

Din sighs, then says, “Come on. Let’s rest, then go get our kid.”

Your heart leaps.

In fact, it might have stopped entirely for a second there.

Our kid.

You pull your face out of his neck, meet his eyes. He looks confused; like he doesn’t realise he’s just said something entirely world-changing.

“What is it?” He asks with a soft frown.

“You—you called him our kid,” a smile twitches at your lips, those tears lingering on the edges of your eyes.

Din’s thumb brushes over the curve of your cheek. “Is that okay?” He asks. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume…”

You want to shake your head, to tell him it’s okay, that you’re so fucking honoured to be so much a part of their life that he’d say that, but you’re speechless, just staring at him with wide and teary eyes.

“Cyar’ika?” He says softly. Concern is on his face now and it’s so misplaced that it’s almost funny.

It’s all you can do to lean in and kiss him. Just once, but lingering, hoping it conveys what, and just how much, you feel. “It’s okay,” you whisper, “it’s better than okay.”

“Yeah?”

You nod. “Yeah, Din. I love that kid so fucking much.”

“I know you do,” he says. “He loves you, too.”

Tilting your head, you kiss the inside of his wrist, keeping your eyes closed for another moment. “I love you,” you say to him, opening your eyes right into his.

“I love you, too,” he kisses you softly. “You’re my alitt.” He whispers, al-eet in Mando’a against your lips.

“What’s that one mean?”

“Family,” he translates.

Your heart swells. After everything that’s happened today, after confronting the evil of the people who raised you—the people you once had to call “family”—to now be lying here with Din in the quiet solitude of the ship, hearing him call you his family and mean it…

“Let’s rest,” he whispers, kissing your nose.

You nod, and settle down in his arms without a word, because really, there is nothing else to be said.

notes: I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR TWENTY WHOLE CHAPTERS TO USE THIS GIF AT THE TOP!!!!!!!!

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm so sad the next one will be the last. Please do let me know your thoughts if you can, and a reblog is always so so appreciated <3

take care of yourself!!

taglist:

@toobsessedsstuff @granillx @keepingitlokiii @shoe1412 @quentinor @yourunstablegf @moonknight-s-cumdump @senassn @samanthacookieone @local-fanfic-addict @your-slutty-gf @whenpugzfly @elsasshole @moony-toasts @julesjewelss36 @jbcalway @mxlsmith @indec1sive @lordhavemurthy

@booktvmoviefangirl @brokenghostgirl1 @competitivedust@lostinsideourminds@gloryekaterina@uncle-eggy@astronymity@leithatnight@domaniquessidehoe@dancealongthelightofday-blog@loveslide@peqchsoup@jaguarthecat@starrynightsforever@djarinxore@rexamongthestars@babygirlrex0504@dindjarindude@prentissluvr@hotchie360@beskarandblasters@space-cowboy-like-me

#din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin imagine #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian imagine #gif cw #my post #i only see daylight

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nyansequitur · 2 months

Text

Finished crafting my long-term build plan, besides skill books. Honestly don't know where to go from here. Probably giving each operator a module? In any case, more detailed info about what exactly I farmed below the cut. CN spoilers, photos, and a lot of talking below.

I suppose let's start with the goal.

Module 1/2/3: J/essicat Alter, L/iskarm

E1/E2/SL7: C/ivlight Eterna, A/sh, E/la

S1M1/M2/M3: P/allas, V/igil, M/izuki, C/ement

S2M1/M2/M3: S/hining, I/nsider, C/ivlight Eterna, A/miya (Medic), A/sh, H/oshiguma, S/hamare, F/iametta, I/frit, C/eobe, S/ilence Alter, S/wire Alter, A/miya (Guard), C/eylon, P/roviso, I/nes, S/iege, S/kadi, B/laze, B/lemishine, M/udrock

S3M1/M2/M3 T/horns, S/hu, S/hining, F/artooth, E/xecutor Alter, M/agallan, C/arnelian, D/egenbrecher, L/ee, S/uzuran, N/earlter, M/lynar, V/iviana, L/essing, V/irtuosa, H/oederer, E/la, B/agpipe, P/ozemka, R/osa, E/yja, P/assenger, H/o'olheyak, L/in, K/al'tsit, N/ightingale, L/umen, S/tainless, A/ak, G/ladiia, D/orothy, A/miya (Caster), S/aga, F/lametail, M/uelsyse, S/urtr, Q/iubai, C/hongyue, H/orn, E/unectes, E/xusiai, C/h'en

broke up names so I (hopefully) don't appear when searching for any operator ever lol

Before I start mastering skills, this is the stage of my depot.

Which should hopefully put into context why I have no base morale at the moment

Why didn't I start crafting earlier? Because I didn't know when I was going to be hitting the finishing point and didn't want to overcraft expensive materials that I would be getting as gameplay rewards. (Pick your poison really, if you start crafting early you can make good use of byproducts but poor use of event mats, and vice versa.)

The krooster planner I used looks like this

If I reset the stock to zero, penguin stats estimates it @ 277.5k sanity, although it doesn't account for event rewards or farming rate ups, so the real number is significantly less. It also doesn't calculate chips/skill books however, so forces going both ways on the estimate.

Upper number is how many I need, lower number is how many I have. Ignore the green book count, that's how many green books I would need if I got no more blue ones.

Blue books are what I'm farming at the moment, and the chips will be farmed once the CN operators are closer to release. I think (I hope) natural sanity and events will be enough given my backlog, but only time will tell. I don't want to do more sanity math please.

This took me, uh. About since my last build plan was completed at the end of February, so. Just over five months-ish? Unfortunately there is no satisfying payoff like the last build plan

youtube

due to masteries taking forever to complete. Near all earned OP since then was converted into sanity refreshes minus some skins. Don't have a good estimate on how much OP I bought for sanity at the moment, but it did definitely happen.

Why did I do this? A desire for maximum sanity efficiency, at first, although mostly it was a goal I set for myself about not leaving built ops or 6*s behind. (This can also be observed in how I level my operators, besides the CC12 crew, fwiplord exam crew, and some early game ops/favorites, most of my e2s are between levels 35 and 45 because I level the weakest e2 first.)

Anyways, I like having a goal to work towards in regards to building ops that can remain constant for months. Watching as the Penguin Stats sanity estimate slowly crept down (or went up when I pulled a new 6*.)

I might do a smaller build queue of 4-5* operators actually. If you made it this far, send me unbuilt ops you consider 'bad' or never see usage of (or just like) I guess.

#I havent given an operator a mastery in months lol #the rocks have probably gone stale and taste terrible by now #luckily 67 cutting fluid solution and 76 poly prep to wash it down #lots of talking. a stupid plan. and a fuck ton of mats farming #arknights truly is a spreadsheet simulator of all time #in the process of this i discovered a bug in penguin stats #it wouldn't suggest crafting solidified fiber board and cyclicene prefabs. instead suggesting farming for them as rare drops #10k sanity saved lol #arknights

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shuttershocky · 2 years

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Dorothy's Vision is coming soon, and with it, modules for Marksman snipers! Are any of those modules actually, like ... good? Except for having a little more attack so Exusiai can hit past defenses on the margins, the modules for snipers I have seem kinda lackluster. Is there something I'm not seeing?

Keep in mind the following list is my personal opinion

Marksman Modules added in Dorothy's Vision

Archetto - This module's much better than her second one coming later, but it's main usage is if you're using Archetto as a helidrop unit to attack with her skills right away. Not necessary, but +8 ASPD when there is a Ground Enemy in range and +4 ASPD from the level 3 module is actually quite nice on a Marksman with offensive recovery skills.

Ash - Garbage, don't bother (unless you want some more ATK). It's fine though because Ash is already a godlike Marksman and as a truly limited unit due to being from a collab, it would suck if she got a module that was actually really good.

Exusiai - I actually really like this one. The level 1 effect is completely pointless barring one enemy (Exusiai already melts all enemy drones that aren't Ursus Artillery Drones, which this module lets her kill), but the level 2 effect gives her 2 angel blessings instead of 1. I think this is actually pretty nice for people who intend to eventually run the upgraded Siegepipe as their new vanguard combo (a very common problem is that Exusiai's angel blessing is often wasted on a flagbearer, but Siegepipe fixes this, and having 2 blessings will buff them both)

Platinum - This will change nothing about Platinum, who's already very different from other Marksmen by prioritizing longer range and more powerful strikes vs rapidfire attacks. If you love Platinum she WILL do more damage with this mod though so why not.

May - HG were probably afraid of breaking her because she's so strong in IS, because unlike her fellow IS and 4 star friend Cutter who got an SP upgrade, May got... +2% ATK per module level. But hey, the module stats gives +3 ASPD and 4 star modules are so cheap I just upgrade them to level 3 without blinking so... why not?

Vermeil - Level 3 pushes her self SP regen bonus from +0.3 to 0.4, so assuming you have S2M3 her charge time goes from 15 seconds to... 14 seconds. It's literally nothing. +31 Base ATK is nice though, it's higher than what Archetto's getting with her level 3 module and she costs way more lmao.

Greythroat - Level 3 module taking her from 15% chance to crit to 21% is very sad, but the Level1 effect of +8 ASPD vs ground targets adds very nicely to her talent giving her +6 ASPD. As a Marksman rolling for crits, actually shooting more is quite good. I'd say keep it at level 1, only upgrade to max if you really like Greythroat because +6% crit chance is pathetic imo when fellow 5 star Sniper Meteorite got +20%. If I ignore ASPD bonuses from talent and mod (because im lazy), the 6% crit chance increase boosts Greythroat's expected normal attack DPS from 720 to 773, which is okay but could have been way better. At least be +10% crit chance HG come on.

April - If you actually use April you know that she's more of a specialist offclassing as a Marksman, and that boosting her talent can't go wrong when it's REALLY good. +8 ASPD vs ground targets is good, and level 3 module going from -20s redeploy time to -28s (a 40% increase!) and -1 DP cost to -2DP is good. I really like this one.

Kroos The Keen Glint - Kroos unfortunately got the anti-air module rather than the anti-ground one which puts her a bit behind Greythroat (I don't value the anti-air one as highly because it's very rare that Marksmen can't handle aerial enemies well enough already), and her module boosting her crit damage from 160% to 175% at Level 3 (im assuming she's max potential because she's a free unit) rather than her crit chance actually gives her a lower overall DPS increase than Greythroat's mod (Kroos' expected DPS goes from 761 to 778), but that doesn't take into account how Marksmen love dealing higher damage per hit, as their main enemy is getting over an enemy's DEF stat. If you like Kroos I wouldn't mind building this module. Crits have a funny way of scaling with certain buffs anyway.

#Arknights

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i-identify-tanks-in-posts · 7 months

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Bit of a different one for you. Found this art of a hypothetical post-war Ukrainian Abrams. It looks really cool; what I would like to know is, with your knowledge of tanks, could all these upgrades/changes be done, and how difficult would they be?

To make a long story short: Yes, all of these changes are possible.

However, the question that arises is the level of difficulty, and whether it would be a positive change. As far as the gun goes, I assume OP meant the KBM-2, which is a Ukranian 120mm smoothbore gun meant to convert a T-72 to use NATO standard shells. However, I personally do not see any advantage to outfitting an Abrams in this way, as the L/44 M256 120mm gun on the M1A2 is specifically designed to mesh with its stabilization and targeting systems, and quite frankly, any conversion would be more work than it's worth.

Now, on the topic of mounting Nizh ERA modules, this is one area where I can't say much, as the USG is notoriously tight-lipped on the exact countermeasures employed on current-gen Abrams systems, however I really do like the Nizh, and the conversion, to my knowledge, would be possible, though I can't speak to level of difficulty.

Now, when we come to the engine, this is where news gets a lot more positive. One of the largest flaws in the design of its 1500hp AGT1500 gas turbine engine, which, admittedly, has fallen somewhat behind the curve in the modern level of tank development. When the Abrams was being produced, gasoline turbines were by far more effective, powerful, and cost efficient than any diesel engine. However, as time has gone on, technology has advanced to a point where that is no longer the case, and modern diesel engines have caught up, meaning that a diesel engine with similar specs would likely bring operational costs and logistical difficulties down significantly. So, a change to an engine like the Ukranian 6TD-3 would be beneficial for the M1, though the difficulty in doing so could prove challenging. However, if an open collaboration between General Dynamics and Ukranian sources were established (as has been done with Abrams localization projects in the past), I'm sure it could be done.

Hope that was what you were looking for, and hope this wall of text isn't too much to be worth reading.

#tanks #military #us tanks #tank talk

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iviarellereads · 1 year

Text

Artificial Condition, Chapter 9

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which another episode concludes.(1)

Art takes care of all the bureaucracy, forging its captain's feed signature and paying fines for the unusual events that follow. It brings the shuttle into a large hangar module, meant to be lab space, and as soon as it fills with atmosphere MB carries Tapan out to Medsystem, the ComfortUnit(2) close behind. As MB removes Tapan's clothes for treatment, some MedSystem drones start poking at its injuries, but it ignores them.

Art informs MB that four humans in the shuttle are still alive, but unconscious. Art has drones sterilize MB's and Tapan's presences and fluids from the interior, then sends it on a flight back to RaviHyral. No one will know they didn't do it to each other until they wake up and tell their stories, and maybe some wouldn't want to tell what they did at all. It'll give the bots time to get out, at least. MB asks how Art knew to do it, but Art confirms its suspicions by giving an episode number of Sanctuary Moon, where presumably something similar happened.

MB asks the ComfortUnit how it knew MB was a Ganaka Pit unit. CU says it saw MB go to the pit, and if it wasn't under orders, it calculated an 86% chance it was one of those units going back for some reason.

MB tells the CU to drop its walls. It does so, still following Tlacey's order to obey MB, and MB disables its governor module. Then, as CU stares at MB, MB tells it to go away and never let MB see it again, or hurt anyone. The CU stumbles upright, and Art uses drones to guide it out to the transit ring without a word.

Art wondered if MB would destroy CU, but MB knows CU didn't have a choice, and it chose to disable CU's governor module for the sake of the CUs in Ganaka Pit who had faced "the meat grinder" to save every human and bot left in the installation.(3)

Art tells MB to get on the other MedSystem platform, as they have a lot of evidence to destroy.

MB is holding Tapan's hand when she wakes, having been healed and cleaned up. Tapan asks what happened, and MB says they tried to kill them again, and they made it out and onto its friend's ship. It shows Tapan the data chip from the Tlacey contact, which it already checked for malware and trackers, and asks her to call Rami and Maro to meet them at the embarkation zone. Tapan and MB exchange "it's my fault"s before she does.

MB surveys everywhere it's been on Art, to be sure there's no evidence left to be found, even if they planned to stay long enough to be stopped and investigated. MB suggests Art take back its comm interface, but Art says to keep it, in case they're in range again someday.

MB and Tapan go out to see the others. Art seals up behind them, erasing records of their having been aboard. They meet Rami, Maro, and the rest of their group at a food stand. They have passage to leave again within the hour.

Rami gives MB a hard currency card, and says its friend said this was the best way to pay it. It tucks it awkwardly into one of the pockets on its Art-provided clothes, as the humans all watch. Rami asks if MB is going now, and it confirms.

Maro asks if she can give MB a hug, but its expression says more than words ever could. So, she squeezes her arms around herself and says it's for MB.(4) MB awkwardly excuses itself for its transport. As it walks away, Art tells it to be careful, and find its crew. MB just pings an acknowledgement, lest it sound "stupid and emotional."

I didn’t know what I was going to do now, if I was going to go ahead with my plan or not. I had hoped finding out what had happened at Ganaka Pit would clear everything up, but maybe revelations like that only happened in the media. Speaking of which, I needed to grab some more downloads before my next transport left. It was going to be a long trip.

=====

(1) If you get the feeling that these novellas sort of fit themselves into episodic parts of a whole, you'd be more or less correct. One of my most keen observations (that is sarcasm) is that the first four novellas are, in a way, four acts of a single novel's story. (2) MB's respect for it went up, and it stopped calling it sexbot in its narration. I have some complicated feelings about this, as someone who is very explicitly for legal safe sex work and against anti-sex-worker stigma, but that rant really might get too long and off-topic for this blog if I got started. (3) See, in contrast to last chapter, this scene seems to imply it was an unrelated CU. It makes no mention that it was there to recognize any signature or anything, and MB dismisses the possibility outright. I really appreciate those sorts of unanswered questions. Like, sometimes it's good to have a firm, lore-based answer, but sometimes? Sometimes those loose ends give you room to think for yourself about a story's possibilities, and make things much more interesting than the author ever could have. (4) Honestly this is the cutest thing in this whole book, to me.

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot diaries #artificial condition #murderbot #secunit #art (murderbot)#asshole research transport #tapan (murderbot)#maro (murderbot)#rami (murderbot)

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caparrucia · 1 year

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For the Asks to Spread Love 💖: 3 + 18

3. One of the best takes you’ve ever seen

"People will always see in fiction what they need to see, but the reasons why they need it won't necessarily be the same as anyone else's." --My Modern English Lit professor about to start a module o Nabokov.

To wit, people will always interpret fiction from the framework of their own experiences and personal taste, and there's nothing inherently wrong with it, right up until they start insisting their take is the only valid take.

But also there's the fact that even when people are finding in fiction the same thing, they don't always find it for the same reason. Like, when people find queer themes in media, some do it because they need the validation of their own queerness, and some do it because they need a reason to discredit a piece of media they dislike. They're both seeing the same thing, that some relationships or characters are queer coded, but the reasons behind their readings of those relationships or characters are completely polar opposites.

I like to keep this in mind when I encounter people interpreting media in ways that I don't understand or agree with: I like to ask myself WHY they're doing that. And I focus on their reasons, rather than their interpretation, because there's insidious reasons that are actively dangerous to engage with, and there's private reasons that are just not worth the hassle to debate.

I did not expect a class in 2009 to become so pivotal in how I carry myself in fandom more than a decade after but. Here we are.

18. Something you initially did not like but came around to

True Crime. Notably and to my great chagrin, I drank the kool-aid of "there's loud, obnoxious examples of this thing, therefore all things pertaining to the thing are bad and irredeemable and stupid" and didn't really think about it much until someone pointed out to me that I was flattening the whole thing and centering white voices and their take on things, and completely ignoring the fact True Crime serves a very real purpose for those who are underserved by traditional justice systems, like... say, visible minorities.

And... yeah. Fuck me, that's true.

I'm still not a fan of true crime as something that I consume regularly, because it's just... not for me, but that doesn't mean there's no point to it or that it's okay to just make blanket statements about shit you don't know anything about just because it annoys you a little. So.

Yeah.

Mea culpa, 100%.

#rie answers #wordsandrobots

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pudding-parade · 1 year

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Do you happen to use any Nraas modules with your KW? I use a ton of them and have missed having kw in my game (but not the lag) and you’ve just shared a way to be naughty with minimal lag. If there’s very little conflicts… I may have to download. Thank you!

Yes, I use the same NRaas mods in my Kinky World saves that I use in my non-KW saves, which is all of them except Vector, if I'm remembering right. And I do not disable ErrorTrap's dereferencing as recommended, either. (Doing that basically deactivates ErrorTrap, and you don't want to do that. I'm half-convinced that this is why KW has a save-breaking reputation, because ErrorTrap isn't doing the behind-the-scenes clean-up of EA crap that it's designed to do.) But yeah, in my experience NRaas mods and KW work mostly fine together, with the proviso that I don't use all of KW's functions because I'm just not interested in them. I have no interest in sims being raped or sims engaging in bestiality, for instance. (No shame if someone else wants those in their fantasy game. It's just not what I'm into, so those things and a few others are turned off.) Even so, when it comes to KW+NRaas functionality issues, I think the only relevant thing is that NRaas doesn't like KW's playable high school system, and it may just be Story Progression that doesn't like it. At least, that's what I've read. I've never used a KW high school myself because it's another of those things I'm not interested in. So with all that in mind, the KW+NRaas issues I have noticed are:

1) Go Here, believe it or not. They don't conflict in game-crashing or game-breaking ways but in smaller ways. For example, with both KW and GoHere in place, when a sim leaves work, they won't come home in the carpool vehicle. They will briefly get in the carpool vehicle, then get out, summon a taxi or their owned vehicle, and then go home in that. (Which sucks if you're playing with a mod where taxis cost money. For this reason I don't use such a mod in KW saves, though I do in non-KW ones.) Likewise, kids won't take the bus home from school. They'll get in the bus, then get out, and ride their bike (or sometimes walk) home instead. This doesn't bother me, but it is a conflict between them. Even if it did bother me, I highly value Go Here's door-locking functionality, so I'd put up with it. :)

Also, sort of related to Go Here, if you happen to use the Toddler Independence mod (the one that allows toddlers to climb stairs), I haven't been able to get it to work with KW, at least not with the Go Here-compatible version of that mod. It's conflicting with KW (or with the combination of KW and Go Here) somehow because Toddler Independence works fine in my non-KW saves, but not in my KW ones. Just thought I'd mention it.

2) Woohooer, perhaps obviously. Basically, with KW in a save, you don't need Woohooer unless you want teen woohoo/pregnancy and/or male- and/or same-sex pregnancy because KW doesn't enable either of those. I want all of that, so what I do when playing a KW save is turn off everything else but teen and male/same-sex pregnancy in Woohooer's settings. That said, you can leave things on, if you want to. You can build Woohooer's Kama Sutra skill, you can get the Woohooer post-woohoo moodlets in addition to the KW ones, etc. But, I just leave on the teen and mpreg/same-sex preg stuff and turn off/make non-autonomous everything else.

(Also, there's a bug fix included with Woohooer that you might want even if you want/need nothing else in Woohooer when using KW. That is that the game can freeze when an NPC is giving birth. Woohooer fixes this and, so far as I know, it's the only fix for it. So there's that, too. You can turn off everything in Woohooer's settings, but it will still fix this bug. So you might want to keep it in play just for that.)

3) Retuner, a bit. But, again, not in game-breaking ways, and only if you use Retuner to customize pregnancy length and correspondingly adjust when sims get the symptoms of pregnancy and the moodlets and start the preggo walk and all that. Left to its own devices, KW will trample all over those settings unless you also go into the KW settings and set the pregnancy length to match whatever you set it to be in Retuner. Then it should follow the other pregnancy-related settings you set in Retuner as well. Non-pregnancy-related settings in Retuner are all fine.

4) Relativity, but only in the sense that if you use it to slow down the game and to commensurately slow down skill-gaining, Relativity can't affect the speed that sims gain KW's Woohoo and Exhibition skills. Because obviously Relativity doesn't "see" those skills. So it's not a conflict so much as a "you just can't do this" thing.

Similarly, I've also tried slowing down the gaining of the KW skills more manually using Master Controller's settings where you can set individual skills to gain more quickly or more slowly. Although those skills do show on the list where you can control that in Master Controller, changing the multipliers for those skills doesn't seem to change anything in-game. Unfortunately. So, if you play with longer life spans, you'll have sims who master the KW skills very quickly, which is a bad thing in my view, but of course YMMV.

5) Story Progression. These two don't really conflict, except that KW has a very rudimentary story progression of its own that, again if left to its own devices, will overwrite the equivalent settings in NRaas Story Progression. So, I just turn off all of KW's story progression except for the two bits that control NPCs gaining the KW skills because obviously there's no equivalent settings in the NRaas mod for those. Everything seems to work fine. For instance, I use Story Progression's caste system extensively in my D/s world to differentially govern the behaviors of those sims who are doms and those who are subs. It all works fine in conjunction with KW.

And that's really all that I've noticed after years of playing with KW and NRaas mods across many saves. That said, if you do choose to play with NRaas+KW and you have problems, the folks at NRaas will (rightfully) not help you with any save touched by KW. Basically, using KW in a save "voids your warranty" when it comes to the NRaas mods in that save. So, if you're not a person that can figure things out for yourself when things go wrong or don't work as expected, bear that in mind.

Whatever the case, if you choose to proceed, don't become overly attached to any KW save, with NRaas or not. I've actually never had one go bonkers (and I've been playing a few KW saves for quite a long time), and as I said I'm half-convinced that this is because I don't hamstring ErrorTrap as recommended, but there's always a first time. Don't plan to do a 10-generation legacy in a KW save if you're the type to be heartbroken over it going belly-up in Gen 8 or something, and also, as always, make lots of back-ups, and I think you'll be fine.

#replies #kinky world mod

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pookha · 1 year

Text

Changes on the Wind Chapter 3

After a very long delay, here's the last chapter of Changes on the Wind. I'm sorry this took so very long to finish. It became wildly wildly AU after season 2B and then even more AU after season 3. I'm sticking with Masha being Gigi here and using she/her pronouns because it was started that way before the reveal about them in TtT, but I love ENBY Masha and my series "No Tengo las Llaves" explores that.

Thank you to all of you who stuck with it and finished this.

Vee has to get used to living with hyperesthesia and synesthesia. Gigi goes off to school, then veterinary school. Vee struggles with how to contribute when it's hard to leave her home. She meets Mildred Featherwhyle, who is not what she seems and together they forge a path for Vee.

3 Months Later

Vee looked up from her tablet as an orange light blinked on the wall. She pulled her phone out of a drawer and flicked the screen open. The blue and gold painted nail on her index finger made a ‘whee’ sound in her head when she did this and it always made her smile. She saw it was Gigi and answered.

“Hey,” she said and put the phone on speaker while she turned back to her tablet. On it a cartoon knight struggled to pull his sword out of a gelatinous-looking wall while a zombie deer snuck up on him from behind.

“Hey,” Gigi’s voice came out tinnily. It had taken Vee a bit to find the right way to manipulate her phone to make people’s voices bearable, but Gigi’s was the best of the batch, followed by Camila’s. Gigi’s modulated voice made Vee tingle and Camila’s felt like a warm towel fresh out of the dryer.

“Want some company later after school? It’s only a half-day today, so I can come over before work.”

“Ooo, that would be great,” Vee said, adding a bright splotch of gore onto the zombie deer’s antlers then erasing it.

“I’ll take the bus and be there around 1ish.”

“Mom’s coming home for lunch today; I’ll ask her if she can pick you up at school at noon instead.” Vee texted Camila who responded with a thumbs-up emoji.

“She says yes.” Vee added a drape of intestines to the deer antler and erased it also.

“What are you doing?” Gigi asked

“I’m drawing a knight fighting a gelatinous cube, but he doesn’t know a zombie deer is sneaking up on him, but I’m having trouble with making the deer creepy in the right way. I tried to put some gore on it and some intestines on its horns, but it’s just not right.”

“Make the deer look more rotted, maybe have the intestine hang from its belly instead like it’s been rotting and is dehiscing,” Gigi suggested.

Vee undid the intestines over the antlers, then moved them to the deer’s belly and squinted. It was almost right, but would need refining and different colors. Right now it was shouting and it needed to grumble menacingly instead.

“Thanks, I think I can make that work.”

“Cool. Glad I could help. I gotta go back to class.” Gigi paused.

“Love you,” she said quietly. This was fairly new to both of them and it still made Vee’s blood fizz like she was taking magic from Gigi still.

“Love you, too. See you later.” Gigi hung up. Vee put her phone back in the drawer and looked up at the wall over her bed. The bright yellow of the walls tinkled lightly and the black trim mumbled gently. It was restful and peaceful. Gus had done a good job helping them choose colors with his illusions and he had held them on the wall until they could match it with paint. Of all of Luz’s friends from the Demon Realm, he was the one that Vee understood best. It was a shame that Luz had gone back and closed the portal. They still got occasional texts from her as they came near a weak spot and closed it, but they were already getting further apart.

Vee stroked the tablet and enjoyed the cool smoothness of it. She looked critically at the drawing and thought it was fine , just fine so far. She’d started drawing immediately after she woke up from her coma. She’d been out for two full days and then had to put up with all the visits to the doctors. If one of the doctors at the University hadn’t wanted to do research on her (it had taken a lot to explain that he didn’t want to experiment on her like Belos had wanted to) then Camila would have had a hard time paying for it all. She’d been diagnosed with hyperesthesia and synesthesia. The hyperesthesia was hard, but at least it was controlled with medication. The synesthesia, though, had awakened an urge to draw in her. She picked it up fast and Camila had let her enroll in online art courses as long as she kept up her remote homeschooling. She sighed and opened her math homework and slogged away at it. She was saving the Spanish homework for last as a reward to herself.

She’d just started on her American Government classwork when she saw the light on the wall flash again. She pulled her phone back out of the drawer and saw a text from Gigi.

Yr mom wants to know if White Castle is okay.

Vee texted back.

Yum sliders…no cheese on mine of course, big enough fries to share with all of us. Half-orange soda, half-sprite, pls

Ugh, how can you drink that. Kidding. Will get for you. See you in about 15 mins. Mwah.

Mwah

Vee set a timer on her phone and did a little bit more classwork, then when the timer went off, she went down and put plates on the table. Camila came in a few minutes later with bags of food and Gigi was right behind her with a drink tray.

Vee gave Gigi a big hug before she could sit down and she almost dropped the drink tray. They all ate while talking about their day. Vee wished she could be at school with Gigi, but the noise from the beige walls and the olive-drab lockers was just too much: the constant mumbling of the beige was awful. She also was so far behind after having been left back a grade and then missing summer school.

“What?” she asked, obviously having missed something that Camila said.

“I said that I could get used to having lunch at home with your girlfriend. Although, I don’t think we could have hamburgers every day.” She pointed at her stomach.

“Yeah, I miss you when you’re at work and Gigi’s at school. It’s hard to be on my own so much. The online classes help, but it’s not the same as being there.” Vee sighed.

“It won’t be like this forever; you’ll be able to reintegrate soon.” Camila put her burger and onion-smelling hand on Vee’s head and rubbed her hair. Vee followed her eyes and knew that she was thinking that Vee looked like Luz and that she missed Luz.

“Yeah, high school will be over before you know it,” Gigi said, squeezing Vee’s hand.

Two Years After

High school was over for Gigi. Vee couldn’t believe it; she still had one more year. She’d made up her lost year, but Luz had been one year behind Gigi and when Vee had taken over her life she was also a year back.

“When do you leave for U of C?” Vee asked, lounging on the microsuede beanbag in the corner of Gigi’s room. Vee loved the black paint on Gigi’s walls and the bright RGB lights of her gaming desktop.

“Last week of August. I’ve got one week of freshman orientation and then classes start after that. She flopped down onto the beanbag next to Vee and kissed her. The kiss went on for a long time until Gigi fell off the beanbag and they both laughed. Vee helped Gigi back up and pulled her more onto her lap. This time the kissing got heated before Gigi pulled back.

“Mom’ll be home soon, sorry.”

Vee mock pouted and laughed.

“I gotcha.” She pushed Gigi off the beanbag and she laughed as Gigi picked herself up.

“Seriously, though, do you wanna before I go away or…?” Gigi left it hanging.

Vee stood up, pulled Gigi close and whispered in her ear.

“I’d like to try, but I don’t know if I can go through with it. If I have to stop, you won’t be upset?”

Gigi shook her head.

“Mom’s at a conference next week and you can stay over. We’ll try then.” Vee kissed Gigi soundly and reveled again in the tingle of Gigi’s lips on hers.

A week later, Gigi slept in Vee’s bed, a large sleep shirt covering all but her legs. Vee watched her sleep, enjoying the soft susurrus of her steady breathing. It had been more than she was expecting and less. Mostly it hadn’t been different than making out and the feelings had been just as exciting, but also some of the burning touches did just that… burned. She knew that she’d want to do it again, but worried about when Gigi went to school. She put her hand on Gigi’s thigh and Gigi sighed in her sleep.

Three Years After

When Camila came home Vee was sitting on the couch watching television. Vee let the bright images dance around in her eyes, but wasn’t really paying attention to what was showing. She turned her head as Camila came in and gave her a kiss on top of her head.

“Good day, Vee?” Camila asked and Vee shook her head. Camila put her purse and jacket in the closet and came back to sit by Vee on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as Vee leaned on her shoulder and tears started to leak from her eyes.

“I want to pull my weight, but what I’m making from my commissions barely pays for my food. I’m sorry to be a burden.” She lifted her head and met Camila’s eyes. Camila wiped a tear from Vee’s cheek with the back of her hand.

“You pull your weight; you contribute.”

“I don’t, though. I eat, sleep, barely go out and my medications have to put a hole in your pocket, even with insurance. I don’t know what to do,” she wailed.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing. I’ll take care of you for as long as you need. I love you, Vee.”

“I know you do and I know it’s not just because I look like Luz.” Luz’s texts from the Demon Realm had gotten even more rare as they closed more holes between the realms. The last one had included a photo of matching engagement rings and Amity looked especially happy.

“No, I love you for you. I wish the ritual had gone better, but what happened made you you. You see colors and shapes differently than anyone else and I know that one day your art will be sold at auction for a lot of money.”

“C’mon, I don’t make that kind of art.” Her original pieces were body horror mostly, and her commissions were mostly portraits of role playing characters.

“That’s what they said about what’s his name that did the Alien stuff.” Camila patted Vee again.

“Giger?” Vee half-asked.

“Yeah, that was his name.”

Camila stood.

“Wanna help with dinner?”

Vee nodded, wiped her face with her sleeve, stood and hugged Camila and they both went to make dinner.

Three Years Later

I was accepted

Vee read the text again and again. She’d known this was coming, but it meant she’d be away from Gigi even longer while Gigi went to veterinary school and then a one year internship with a clinic. She closed her eyes in thought, rested like that for a few minutes then opened them. She turned on her full-spectrum lights and looked down at the illustration on her tablet: the Cthulhoid horror on it had a princess in its tentacles, but it didn’t see the dagger she held behind her back. The princesses grim smile said she knew that she’d had to get into the horror’s grasp to kill it and she’d do what was necessary.

Vee’s phone buzzed and she jumped. She’d forgotten to put it in its drawer and the sound of it made her skin crawl. She sighed and looked at it, expecting another text from Gigi, but this was an email notification. She sighed again, and dithered with her finger over her phone before finally opening it and then opening her email. She didn’t recognize the email address, so she opened it in protected mode. She read it, then she read it again and again, trying to decide if it was legitimate. She looked up the company it came from, then the person it came from, then reviews from artists who’d worked with them. Finally, she closed her email, turned off her tablet, turned off her full-spectrum lights and sat in the dark in her room. She stayed that way for almost an hour before she texted Gigi.

I’m happy for you, but also sad that you’ll be gone longer. I got an offer to illustrate Wizard Warrior cards for Wizards of Seattle! I looked it up and it looks legit. They say they saw some of my work when one of their programmers for their digital cards saw a commission of mine and then they looked me up.

Gigi texted back right away.

That’s great! I’m sorry I’ll be away longer, but I will have 3 weeks after I graduate and before I go to vet school and I look forward to spending them with you.

I love you, Vee and I want to spend my life with you.

Vee smiled. They’d been basically engaged for a year, but Gigi wanted to finish school. She was driven and Mom had been there and been encouraging about Gigi going to vet school. She had told Gigi she’d always have a summer job and a place in her clinic when she was graduated.

Thinking of Mom made Vee text her about her offer. Camila texted back that she’d have her lawyer look over the Wizards of Seattle contract that was attached to the email.

Five Years Later

Vee opened the video call. Her agent was dimly backlit; he knew about Vee’s sensory issues.

“Hey! Good news, bad news!” he said exuberantly like always.

“Bad first,” Vee said.

“Wizards of Seattle didn’t offer you any contracts for the upcoming set.”

Vee grimaced. She’d been expecting it since they switched art directors there, but it still stung. The pay was a big part of why Camila had been able to take less hours at the clinic and be more of a supervisory vet.

“Okay, not unexpected. How about the good news.”

“Tripleday Publishing wants you to meet with one of their authors to discuss illustrating graphic novels based on their work and if they like it to make a new animated series on it.”

Vee raised an eyebrow. The graphic novel probably wouldn’t make up for the loss of the Wizards of Seattle income, but an animated series probably would.

“What’s the series?” Vee asked.

“They actually won’t say. I think they’re afraid of leaks, but I’ve been asking around and I think it’s a reboot of the Good Witch Azura by Mildred Featherwhyle.”

Vee sat back heavily and almost fell off her chair.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” she whispered.

“I think it’s going to be the Good Witch Azura series. Rumor has it that Mildred Featherwhyle has finished a darker, updated reboot and that she’s signed a movie or television deal.”

“How would she have heard about me?” Vee asked.

“I’m guessing from the illustrations for the body horror anthology that Tripleday published last year.”

“Wow.” Vee thought about how Luz would react to find out that Vee might work on the Good Witch Azura.

“If it is the Good Witch Azura, I want it. I want it badly. I’ll fly to a meeting if I have to.”

Her agent blinked. She’d never offered to leave Connecticut before.

“I’ll get back to you by the end of work tomorrow.”

Vee nodded. The rest of the call was about residuals, which were smaller than Vee had hoped.

It was only an hour later when her agent texted her a meeting link for 10 a.m. the next day. Vee didn’t tell Camila about it so she wouldn’t be disappointed if it fell through. She slept poorly that night and woke up with her head pounding. She turned on her full spectrum lights and changed the curtains covering her walls to bright primaries. After showering, she dressed in one of her best dresses and put on the string of pearls that Mom had given her for luck.

Right at ten she opened the meeting link and was unsurprised to see MIldred Featherwhyle. She didn’t look any older than she had on her book covers.

“Vee Noceda?” she asked.

“Yes. You’re Mildred Featherwhyle. My sister was a huge fan of yours.”

“Was?”

“She’s gone to live somewhere else,” Vee said.

Mildred smiled.

“Yes, I know. She went to the Demon Realm, right?”

“I—Uh…umm…what?” Vee stammered. The red curtain chimed at her in warning.

“I saw your art in the anthology. You’ve either been to the Demon Realm or you’re from the Demon Realm. That was unmistakably a basilisk in the background with a flesh-eating fairy on its shoulder.”

“I—I—I,” Vee kept stammering.

“Breathe child; I’m not here to expose you or capture you. I want to work with you because you’ve seen what I’m writing about and I like the honesty of your artwork. You know what it’s like to be trapped in your body.”

She paused.

“Most people seem to think its a reference to your illness, but I think it’s because you have to pretend to be something you’re not…like me.”

“Is it safe to talk over this link?” Vee asked.

“It’s the best technology. The NSA would have to work for years to break the encryption. I paid for it myself.” Mildred smiled, showing more teeth than Vee thought was normal.

“What are you?” Vee asked.

“Oh, neither witch nor demon, nor human. I’ve lived in this dimension long enough to see the rise of man…and maybe I’ll see its fall if you don’t change your ways. Now what are you?”

Mldred’s eyes glowed and Vee couldn’t look away. She could; however, close her eyes and she did.

She heard MIldred laugh.

“I won’t hurt you; I promise.” Mildred’s voice was soft and grandmotherly.

Vee opened her eyes.

“I’m a basilisk, but I’ve been forced into a human shape permanently so I could stay here without needing magic.”

“Ah, that explains something. Your sister that went to the Demon Realm is the one who’s closing the holes between the realms? Did you take her spot in this world?”

Vee nodded yes to both questions then asked, “Wait how do you know about closing the thin spots?”

Mildred laughed and suddenly her seat was full of flames. The flames spoke in her voice.

“I’m what you’d probably call an ifrit, though I’ve had many names over the centuries. I come from another realm entirely, having travelled through the In Between. I’ve been to the Demon Realm, I’ve been to the stars with the Archivists, I’ve lived in the city of Fire and Brass.”

Suddenly she was Mildred again.

“But I like it here. I like writing for children and showing them that there’s hope and light, but also darkness and death. I want them to learn that they make their own destiny as long as they choose themselves.”

She looked at Vee again.

“You can help with that. Your art has truth in it that goes beyond its form. Your colors and subjects give life to themes that sometimes are lifeless in most human artists. Only rarely do humans achieve that level of consciousness combined with talent that sublimates to the divine.”

“I have that?” Vee squeaked.

“Yes, and now that I know what you are, I understand why.”

“What’s the project?” Vee asked, changing the subject.

“You’d be Art Director for the graphic novel based on my new novel and if it goes well, which it will, then you’ll be Art Director for the animated film for it. It’s a lot darker and about Azura and Hecate’s children discovering the truth of what happened with Villainous Lucy and their culpability in her death.”

“It pays quite well, and in addition, I can grant a boon.”

“A wish?” Vee whispered.

“No, not a wish, but a boon. I’m not omnipotent. I can offer money, power, travel between worlds if your sister should wish to return.”

“But the soft spots they’re closing?” Vee asked.

“I can travel without ripping them open. I understand what they’re doing and why. The Demon Realm had become too much in conjunction with this world; I could feel it. But my ways are not their ways and I can do it.”

“I—can you make it so text messages pass more easily and not just when the realms are in conjunction?” Vee asked. She got up and switched her curtain to a tangerine orange.

“I could make communication better, yes, but it would be different than you think. You’d write in a book like a diary and it would appear in an identical diary there. It would be writing only; voice would take too much magic power to cross the In Between.”

“If you can do that for my Mom and my sister, I’ll join you. I’ll even take less for it.”

“No you won’t. You’ll earn your money; the job will be hard. I’ll make the books and deliver them to the Demon Realm and your mother, Camila. Then I’ll send you the contract. Sign or not, the books are yours to keep.”

“Thank you,” Vee whispered.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Mildred said and hung up.

Vee sat there for a long time before getting up and calling Camila.

The book appeared on their table two days later with a note from Luz. It talked about Manny and it was clear that it couldn’t have come from anyone else. Camila cried while writing in it about everything that had happened. They discovered that photos wouldn’t travel, but Luz drew pictures of her wedding with Amity and their child, Azura. Vee drew back what Mom looked like now and the promise ring she had given to Gigi. No matter how many pages they filled, there were always more.

Vee signed the contract and drew the graphic novel. It sold amazingly well. Interviewers were always surprised by her reclusiveness and her disabilities, but she told them they weren’t disabilities, but rather just who she was. She finished the novel and then started working on the film. She’d just started putting the finishing touches on it when Gigi came back to Gravesfield as a newly minted veterinarian. She was going to do an internship with another clinic in Gravesfield then Camila would hire her for the clinic.

The book’s advance paid for the abandoned house next door and the first residual for it paid for the renovations. The movie advance paid for her wedding to Gigi and their move next door. Camila loved having them close, but also loved having the house to herself.

The movie was a smash and Vee’s star rose, but she stayed in Gravesfield with her wife. The world was too big, and this small part of it she had made was her part, her family.

Her family. She knew what she wanted and called Mildred with Gigi.

“Mildred, I know I don’t have the right to ask for another boon, but there’s something I would like if you could do it.”

“You wish a child?” Mildred guessed.

Gigi smiled and Vee blushed.

“I can do it, but children born like this are often different in unexpected ways. Will you love them no matter what?”

“I will,” Gigi answered in unison with Vee. Mildred looked sharply at Gigi.

“Ah, case in point. You didn’t tell me your wife was a witch.”

“It’s not been important since Vee became human. I can’t do anything magical.” Gigi sighed.

“Oh my dear, yes you can, you just haven’t discovered it yet.”

Mildred laughed her creepy otherworldly laugh.

“I’ll send instructions on how to conceive, but Vee, you’ll have to carry the baby. It’ll be very difficult with your hyperesthesia. Are you willing to sacrifice?”

Vee met Gigi’s eyes.

“Yes.”

Mildred hung up.

“Why is she an author when she could be anything?” Gigi asked.

Vee shrugged.

“I think she just likes it.”

A thick packet came in the mail the next day with instructions on how they could conceive. Very blunt instructions. Eleven months later Manuel Caleb Noceda was born.

They lived mostly happily ever after.

#the owl house fanfiction #veesha #vee/goth girl #mildred featherwhyle #hyperesthesia #synesthesia

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