#I know I’ll need stuff to do in my life
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can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 19
Or: a secret Admirer AU
PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10 || PART 11 || PART 1 || PART 13 || PART 14 || PART 15 || PART 16 || PART 17 || PART 18
Steve makes a noise of pain, and Eddie pulls back like he’d been burned. With how hot his face feels, he might have been. Eddie holds his fingers up to his own mouth. His lips hurt enough when he touches them that Eddie’s sure it’ll go down in history as the worst kiss in Steve Harrington’s life.
“Um,” Steve says, voice high and wobbly like he’s going to cry.
Eddie’d almost rather die than have Steve see him right now, but he needs to see the look on Steve’s face to ascertain how the hell he can fix this. So, he reaches up, fumbling blindly until the van’s interior light clicks on.
He blinks, momentarily blinded by the spots sparking in his eyes with the sudden light. When he finally blinks them away and catches sight of Steve, his breath catches.
Steve’s pressed hard enough into the van’s door that it looks like he’s trying to become one with it, and his eyes are wide and panicked, fingers clenching the fabric of his jeans over his raised knees. There’s a speck of blood on his mouth and all Eddie can do is hope that it’s his own.
“I am so sorry,” Eddie rushes out, shuffling forward in his seat, hand outstretched to wipe off the blood, but when Steve flinches away, smacking his head against the window, Eddie flings himself back, palms raised in supplication. “I shouldn’t have done that!”
It’s only as something shutters beneath Steve’s wide eyes that Eddie realizes how many wrong ways Steve could be taking what he’s saying. “Not like that!” Eddie continues, words tumbling over each other in his rush to get them out. “It’s just you were saying all that shit like I don’t want to be here? And I panicked, and just sort of…did that?”
Steve doesn’t say anything in response. He just sits, frozen, eyes unfocused. Eddie really wishes he’d say something, if only so Eddie can stem the stream of bullshit flowing from his mouth.
“Only, I’ve never kissed anyone before, and you’re supposed to ask first, right?” he rambles, still panicking. “Oh my god, I just like, attacked you? I’ll take you home if you want, oh my god, why did I—”
“You want to be here?” Steve blessedly interrupts. Eddie takes gasping breaths, eyes laser focused on the little furrow between Steve’s brows. “Wait, that was your first kiss?”
Eddie feels whatever blood had drained from his face rush back as Steve squints across at him. He’s not crowded into the door, but Eddie’s not sure the way he’s leaning toward Eddie with disarming focus is actually much better.
“I mean—well, you see—I’ve just never—” Steve’s still staring at him unerringly so Eddie takes a shuddering breath and finally spits it out. “I’ve never been on a date, kissed anyone, any of that stuff.”
“Oh,” Steve whispers, a look Eddie can’t read dawning across his face.
“Yeah, oh,” Eddie replies, chuckling weakly when Steve just keeps staring. Eddie looks away, unable to hold the intensity of his gaze. “Sorry I blew it like that. I just sort of panicked, you know?”
“Oh,” Steve says again, a different intonation this time, still just as indecipherable to Eddie.
“Yeah, oh,” he mutters again, picking at a loose thread on his sleeve, unable to look at Steve.
It’s silent again—Eddie wishes it was dark, too. He wants to go home, drag his comforter back into his room and hide beneath it until he forgets any of this ever happened. He might be under there for a long, long time.
But then there’s cool fingers against his chin, and when he jerks his gaze toward him, Steve’s golden brown eyes are very, very close to his own, his lips even closer with the way his breaths are puffing against Eddie’s open mouth.
“Can I?” Steve asks, making it clear what he means as he looks down at Eddie’s lips.
Eddie gasps, body aflame with the power of his blush. “You—you want to?” he stutters out. When Steve nods, still holding Eddie’s chin, he responds, “okay, yeah, yeah, okay—” his affirmations only being cut off by the soft press of Steve’s lips.
It’s soft and dry, pressed chastely against Eddie’s own. Eddie shudders, mimicking the minute movements of Steve’s lips against his own. It’s a revelation to feel Steve’s lips on him, even more so when he feels Steve’s mouth quirk up against his own, like he’s happy to be kissing the bumbling fool Eddie’s become.
Eddie laughs, just a little against Steve’s mouth. It turns into a groan halfway up his throat as Steve threads his fingers through Eddie’s hair, using his grip on the back of his head to pull Eddie closer to himself. As Eddie gasps, Steve brushes his tongue into Eddie’s open mouth, barely delving in before pulling it back and sucking Eddie’s bottom lip.
Steve leaves his lips wet as he pulls back. Eddie tries to chase his mouth, drunk off the feeling of it, but Steve’s fingers fist in the back of his hair, holding him in place. The feeling zings through Eddie from his scalp to his palms, that gentle pull hitting him like electrocution as he gasps back to life.
When he opens his eyes, Steve’s still close, smiling smugly at Eddie. It’s all King Steve without the bite. He wants more, hopes Steve keeps him around long enough that he can see it all.
“You said stargazing?” Steve asks, eyes twinkling brighter than any star in the sky.
Eddie laughs, something bright and bubbling filling his chest as he watches Steve laugh along with him, eyes crinkling almost shut, hand still clutched in Eddie’s hair.
He hopes, ardently, desperately, that a second date is on the table, no matter how disastrously this one has gone because right now, in this moment with Steve’s buoyant laughter echoing in his skull? Eddie’s obsessed with him.
“Yeah, big boy, let’s go.”
***
Steve leans against the cold metal of Eddie’s van and watches as Eddie bounces around in the light of the van’s headlights, helplessly endeared as Eddie fusses with the edges of his blanket until it finally lays wrinkle-free in an empty spot in the clearing. He rushes back to the van a few times, holding snacks and drinks behind his back like Steve won’t see them the moment he drops them to one side of the blanket.
He fusses with it all, too, making sure everything’s lined up just so. It’s so unlike Eddie that Steve might think he’s stalling if he wasn’t beaming the entire time. To finish it off, he grabs a smaller folded blanket and lays it perfectly parallel with all the snacks. Only then does he turn back to Steve.
“My lady,” he says, bowing low and gesturing down to the blanket at his feet. “Your chariot awaits.”
Steve laughs and follows his directions to the middle of the blanket, feeling absurdly guilty about his shoes on it. He drops, crossing his legs beneath him. Once he’s rushed over to the van to turn his headlights off, Eddie follows his lead, sitting close enough that their knees just barely overlap.
Steve blinks away the spots in his vision from the change in light before looking up at the sky. It’s bursting with stars, and the moon’s full enough to illuminate their clearing so that Steve can see the shadows of Eddie’s dimples as he smiles at him.
“So, I was thinking we could smoke a little?” Eddie says, pulling a joint out of the pocket of his vest with a raised brow. “But if you don’t want to, we can just relax.”
Steve grabs the joint from Eddie’s hand, letting his fingers brush against Eddie’s before plucking it free and putting it in his own mouth. Eddie stares, mouth parted, hand still held out despite now being empty.
“Well? Got a light?” Steve asks around the blunt, leaning a bit toward Eddie as he comes back to life and fumbles in his vest pocket like he’s on some sort of time crunch.
Eddie flicks his lighter and watches avidly as Steve sucks in until the cherry catches and burns. He inhales, trying for cocksure and suave, but it’s been a long time and instead he coughs a cloud of smoke right in Eddie’s face.
Steve rolls his eyes as Eddie throws his head back and laughs. “Yeah, yeah, yuck it up,” he says around each little, sputtering cough.
“Sorry,” Eddie replies, but he’s still laughing as he plucks the joint from Steve’s fingers and takes a much smoother drag, using his free hand to pat Steve on the back like he’s burping a baby. “Been a while, Stevie?”
Steve’s eyes are streaming, but he feels light enough that he could float away on the smoke as Eddie smiles across at him, joint still in his mouth.
“A bit,” Steve replies, cheeks heating as Eddie’s fingers brush against his lips as he puts the joint back into Steve’s own mouth, tip now wet with Eddie’s spit.
“Nice and easy, now,” Eddie says. Steve follows his instructions, taking a small, shallow breath in, fighting against the spasming of his lungs as he lets the smoke leave his mouth and float up into the night’s sky. He’s rewarded with Eddie’s quiet murmur of, “good boy.”
Then the asshole takes the joint back, raising his eyebrows tauntingly as Steve shudders.
“Shut up,” Steve mutters, no heat behind the words as he flops back on the blanket and looks up at the stars. “Now show me some constellations, Munson.”
Eddie laughs, dropping down so their sides are pressed together, heads close enough that Eddie’s hair tickles Steve’s neck. Eddie takes one more drag before offering it back to Steve. Steve’s enough of a lightweight now, that the few hits he took have him floating a few feet above his body, so he shakes his head. Eddie reaches over to stub it out in the grass without complaint.
“Okay, see those three stars?” Eddie asks, pointing up into the sky. Steve squints, nodding when he finally locates three stars that seem brighter than the ones around them, forming a wonky sort of triangle. “Well, that constellation’s called, How The Fuck Should I Know?”
A barking laugh bursts out of Steve as he turns to stare at Eddie, incredulous. “You planned a stargazing date and don’t know anything about stars?”
“Well, I thought it would be romantic!” Eddie cries, gesturing wildly enough that one of his hands smacks into Steve’s chest lightly.
Steve rolls his eyes. “Doesn’t even know anything about stars,” he repeats teasingly.
“Well!” Eddie sputters, wrapping his arm around Steve’s shoulders and shaking him around on the blanket as he laughs. “Wayne thought it was a good idea.”
Steve stops laughing, unease curdling in his gut as he asks, “you told your uncle about me?”
Eddie sits up, wriggling his arm from beneath Steve suddenly enough that he flops bonelessly onto the blanket as Eddie peers down at him, eyes wide and manic beneath the moonlight. He latches both hands onto Steve’s shoulders like he’s trying to keep Steve stationary.
“I didn’t mean to!” he blurts out before biting his lip. “It’s just, I tell him everything, and he knew I was upset, and asked what was wrong, and it just spilled out!” One of Eddie’s hands lets go of Steve’s shoulder so he can gesture wildly, like they’re playing charades and he’s depicting a clown pulling a ribbon from his sleeve. “And then he told me that he thought I was gay, can you believe that?”
And honestly? Steve can. But Eddie looks riled enough, and Steve just wants to go back to the calm intimacy of minutes before, so he grabs the hand still propping Eddie up with his own shoulder and yanks it out from under him.
Eddie goes sprawling, landing half on Steve’s chest where he wriggles around like a worm until Steve wraps his arms around him and holds Eddie tight to his own chest. Eddie shutters, then slumps, tucking his head beneath Steve’s chin with a groan.
“First Chrissy, then Jeff, and Robin, now your uncle?” Steve mutters, tightening his hold on Eddie when his words start him squirming again. “Who’s next, the pope?”
“Robin knows?” Eddie asks, breaths puffing against Steve’s sensitive neck. “That explains so much.”
“Hey, Rob’s great,” Steve defends, unsure what Eddie’s weird tone means. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her.”
Eddie snorts, but burrows his face further into Steve’s neck, planting a little kiss on the skin there. “You’re so weird.”
“Coming from you?”
“Oh, baby, you had me beat like three deranged decisions ago,” Eddie teases, but Steve barely hears him, too busy replaying baby, baby, baby, over and over again in his head like a cheap record.
“Shut up,” Steve mutters.
Eddie fights against Steve’s restricting arms until he’s propped up, smirking down at him, his curly hair curtained around them. “I’m serious! First, you write secret letters? And to me of all people?” Eddie crows. Steve wishes desperately that he could think of a way to shut him up before this gets even more embarrassing. “And the Chrissy of it all, Stevie, what the hell were you—mph!”
Eddie goes blessedly silent as Steve plants one on him, opening his mouth just enough to hear Eddie make that delightful groaning noise again. Steve wraps his arms around Eddie’s waist, pulling Eddie down until his full weight is atop Steve, anchoring his stoned brain back into his body.
Steve bites at Eddie’s lip, once, twice, before soothing it with his tongue and pulling back, high again off the pitiful groan Eddie lets out.
“I finally found a way to shut you up,” he says softly, but he’s smiling and running his hands up and down Eddie’s back as he pants.
Eddie groans, flopping off Steve, body still pressed up against his side. “You’re evil Harrington,” he mutters, reaching out to take Steve’s hand and squeeze.
Steve reaches for Eddie’s chin again, this time pointing it back up to the sky.
“You see those stars there?” he asks, pointing up and to the left of them. “It looks sort of like a weird rectangle with legs and a swirly neck?”
Eddie squints up, gaze unerringly facing the way Steve’s pointing. Steve watches close enough that he sees the moment recognition lights up his eyes. “That’s Leo.”
At that, Eddie whips his head around to stare at Steve suddenly enough that he breaks Steve’s hold on his chin. “Are you kidding?” Eddie demands, but he’s grinning now. “You gave me all that shit, and you ‘know the stars?’” He throws quotations around his words, making it clear that he’s mocking Steve.
For his part, Steve shrugs, still lying down and grinning right back as he replies, “I learned all the star signs to impress girls. And boys, now.”
As Steve reaches out to tuck a dangling lock behind Eddie’s ear, Eddie stares back at him, no longer grinning. “I’m a Leo.”
“I know.”
Eddie whines, “you’re going to kill me,” and drops back to the blanket, curling into Steve’s side.
“Nah,” Steve replies, uprooting Eddie just enough to reach over and grab the folded blanket to drape over the pair of them, cutting the chill in the air by halves. After all, they’ve got a high to wear off before Eddie can drive him home like the gentleman he promised to be. “What fun would that be?”
***
Steve’s asleep—Eddie can tell by the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath Eddie’s head and the way his breath whistles out of his nose. Eddie doesn’t wake him up. This moment feels too precious, this feeling bubbling up in his chest too new to disturb it, especially after the disaster that was the beginning of the night.
It’s just, Eddie’s never been on a date before, and he hadn’t accounted for the way the popcorn would make his hand too slippery with butter to even imagine reaching across the distance between them. And Steve had been very clear: he wanted to hold hands. And it’d all spiraled out of control from there.
He’s never buying popcorn again.
But, now he’s resting against Steve’s side, head propped up on Steve’s chest, hand clutched in his even though it leaves his arm at an awkward angle. And he’s contending with feelings he’s never experienced before.
It’s like there’s moths attacking his heart and lungs before fluttering down into his stomach, tickling his insides, making his whole being damn-near squirm with the foreign feeling.
He feels almost sick with it—is this what everyone means by lovesick? It’s awful, it’s spectacular. He wants to wake Steve up and tell him about the moths and their fluttering, see if he feels it, too.
But, Steve sighs, and even in his sleep, his arms reflexively pull Eddie tighter against himself, and Eddie lets himself bask in the warmth of his embrace until he falls asleep.
He wakes, his entire body cold and shivering convulsively.
It takes another shake to his shoulder to remember where he is and who he’s with. He opens his eyes to Steve’s face hovering over him, his hand shaking Eddie’s shoulder.
“Wha’s it?” Eddie murmurs, reaching up to rub clumsily at his eyes.
“We fell asleep,” Steve replies, voice gravely in a way that hits Eddie right in the gut. “Come on, man. It’s freezing out here.”
Eddie groans, but dutifully drops his hand from his face to grab Steve’s, letting the other boy pull him upright. It takes him a minute to reorient himself with the concept of standing upright.
By the time he’s upright, Steve’s stacked the uneaten snacks back into the bag Eddie’d brought them in, and is halfway through folding up Eddie’s blanket.
“Is it morning?” Eddie asks, squinting up at the sky accusingly as dawn’s light filters through the trees.
Steve laughs. “You’re cute when you first wake up.” Eddie stands there, brain now fully offline, cheeks heating even in the cold. “Now, come on! It’s cold as hell out here.”
The sound of his van’s passenger door slamming as Steve climbs inside sends him running; he climbs into his freezing van and turns the key in the ignition.
“The, uh, heat’s on the fritz,” Eddie mutters, embarrassed, as the van sputters to life. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Steve replies, and when Eddie glances at him, he’s smiling over at Eddie even as he wraps his arms around himself.
It’s a quiet drive, more out of sleepiness this time rather than the awkward journey of the night before. Steve reaches out to play whatever’s in the tape deck—Metallica this time, and he bops his head along to the beat while Eddie taps the steering wheel.
He pulls into the Harrington’s driveway, and puts the van in park and lets the engine idle.
“Well, I had fun,” Steve says, smiling as he unbuckles his seatbelt. “Thanks for the ride.”
Steve’s already out of the car and walking up to his front door by the time Eddie’s tired brain catches up. He’s out of the van in a shot, forcing his cold legs to move fast as he calls, “wait!”
Steve pauses, hand still on the doorknob, halfway through the door. But he turns around, and waits as Eddie rushes up to him, already breathless from his short dash.
“A gentleman always walks his date to the door,” Eddie says quietly, conscious of listening ears, even this early in the morning.
Steve beams, clearly ready to play along as he curtsies like one of the fine ladies in the movies and replies, “well, you’ve done your gentlemanly duty.”
Eddie shuffles his feet, anxious now about all the other things that usually follow the end of a date. “Uhh—well—can I—?”
Steve waits indulgently while Eddie sputters over all the things he wants, all the things he can’t figure out how to say. It’s okay, Eddie planned for this, so he reaches into his vest’s pocket, and pulls out a folded piece of paper, passing it to Steve like they’re in class.
Steve looks down at it, smile growing as he asks, “what’s this?”
“Open it,” Eddie replies, but he already is, smile only growing as he reads what’s on it.
Second Date? Yes ☐ No ☐
First Kiss? Yes ☐ No ☐
“I, uh, didn’t think we’d have already done the whole first kiss thing?” Eddie rambles, the longer Steve spends just staring down at it. “But, it’s customary at the end of a first date, right? I mean not that I have any experience. But, in the movies—”
“I probably have morning breath,” Steve graciously interrupts, holding a hand over his mouth like he’ll be able to contain the stench. But he’s smiling down at the note, Eddie can see the edges of his upturned lips between the gaps in his fingers.
And that’s decidedly not a no, so Eddie crowds Steve until he stumbles through his open front door. Eddie takes a precious moment to close the door to obscure them from view before he cups Steve’s cheeks in the palms of his hands.
“I can’t tell you how much I don’t give a shit about that, Harrington,” Eddie murmurs right before he presses his lips against Steve’s, gently this time because say what you want about Eddie, but he can learn from his mistakes.
It’s slow this time, languid. They’re both tired, and cold, and this date has gone on hours longer than it was ever supposed to. But it’s just as good as their second first kiss. Eddie’s mind goes blank—there’s nothing past the heat of Steve’s lips, and the way those foreign moths squirm within him as arms wrap around his waist.
Eddie pulls away first this time, pecking Steve’s lips once, twice, thrice, when he groans a complaint. “Now, now, I’m trying to be a gentleman,” Eddie replies, hoping Steve doesn’t notice how breathless he sounds.
Steve pouts, but pulls back, Eddie’s note still clutched in his hand. Eddie stares at it, gut churning much more unpleasantly as he asks, “uh, and the other question?”
“Hold that thought,” Steve replies, and then he just—walks away.
Eddie stands at the threshold of the Harrington’s big, empty house as Steve disappears from view. Luckily for the health of Eddie’s heart, he reappears a few moments later, the cap of a pen in his mouth as he scribbles quickly on the page before handing it back to Eddie.
Eddie looks down at it, smile blooming as he sees the little X’s Steve had written in next to the Yes’s of both questions.
“But it’s my turn to plan the next one,” Steve mutters, and when Eddie tears his gaze away from the note, Steve’s cheeks are dusted with a light pink blush that Eddie has to resist the urge to lick.
“I can live with that,” he replies, damn-near buzzing with excitement.
“I’m going to knock your date out of the park, Munson, just you wait.” Steve’s got a cocky eyebrow raised like he’s challenging Eddie to a competition and knows he’s going to win.
He’s such a bitch; Eddie’s obsessed with him.
“Good luck, Harrington. We both know I knocked this one out of the park.” Steve laughs as Eddie mimes hitting a baseball with a bat with the best form he can manage, trying to appeal to Steve’s jock sensibilities.
“You brought it back around,” Steve concedes.
“But, hey,” Eddie starts, finally breaking eye contact with Steve so he can slip the ring off his finger and hold it out to Steve. “It’s no letterman jacket, but something to remind you of me until our next date?”
Steve’s eyes are wide as he looks down at the ring cradled in Eddie’s palm, and his fingers tremble slightly as he scoops it up. Still, he doesn’t hesitate in trying out fingers until he finds one that fits—the blue gem shines brighter affixed to Steve’s thumb than it ever did on Eddie’s hand.
Steve’s cheeks are darker now; Eddie wants to reach out and see if he can feel the heat through his skin.
Steve swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing as he looks down at the ring on his finger with what looks like wonder. “Thank you,” he murmurs quietly before finally looking up and meeting Eddie’s eyes. “Good luck getting my letterman back from Chrissy, though. She’s obsessed with it. I swear I even saw Jeff wearing it the other day.”
“I’ll fight her for it,” Eddie replies, mostly joking as he throws a couple half-hearted punches just to make Steve laugh again.
“You do that,” Steve says, still smiling as he leans forward to peck Eddie’s lips one more time before ushering him out the door. Eddie’s lips tingle the whole drive home.
When he walks through the trailer, Wayne’s on the couch, watching a game of sportsball on the TV, a mug of coffee clutched in his hand. He looks up when Eddie enters, smirking as he catches sight of whatever look is on Eddie’s face.
“Still straight, Ed?” Wayne asks, before taking a sip of his coffee like the meddlesome bastard he is.
“Shut up, old man,” Eddie replies, walking past his laughing uncle to fall into his bed for a few more hours of much-needed sleep.
PART 20
#koko's steddie secret admirer au#steddie#my fic#and the cute to go with all the awkwardness of the part berfore#the stargazing scene here is what helped me settle on the title of the fic <3<3<3
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𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 | Lucien De Leon x reader
↝ masterlist | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic rec | ko-fi
summary | it was never a favor, allowing him to take up space in your apartment. but, time after time, he finds his way back and somehow, it brings an unexpected normalcy to your life.
author's note | in my heart, it's still flores. but canonically its de leon. i had the opportunity to watch the movie and hot take, it was...alright. but pedro's character made me just as feral as i expected. so here's this absolute monster for no reason other than, well, me ovulating.
content warning | 18+ mdni, the uninvited spoilers, set post-movie, roommates to lovers, enemies to lovers, reader works in the film industry, financial hardship, shitty living situations, lucien is a schmooze and a drunk, but also a sweetheart, angst, feelings, reader has shit luck with dating, there's also smut in here somewhere i swear (oral, couch sex, unprotected piv, all the good stuff)
word count — 11k (sorry lmfao)
“Lucien?” You grumble around the chewy granola bar you’ve snatched from the craft table, “Lucien De Leon?”
The agent, Lucien’s agent—James, also working for a few of the on-set cast, looked hopeless.
He nods, squeezing tight at the phone in his hand, one more inconvenience text from snapping it in half.
“No,” You refuse, chewing at the sweet and sticky granola, “why—why me? My tiny apartment?”
“He’s exhausted any other chance,” The agent explains vaguely—yeah, real convincing, this guy, “listen—I like you, you’ve helped me in plenty of binds. It’ll be two weeks before he’s leaving for work, I just need somewhere to keep him for a while.”
“You’re making it seem like I’d be dog sitting or something,” You retort, watching as the agent glanced down at his phone, notifications spilling in, “this is Lucien—controversy magnet, and he’s rude—”
“You’ve gotta get to know him—”
“The one set I’ve worked on with him he spilled my coffee on me and acted like I made him do it. Fuck him, tell him to sleep on a bench.”
“I’ll pay you,” He scrambles, “Just—please?”
You pause, narrowing your gaze. Being a production assistant hadn’t been the life of luxury, minimal pay in an overpriced city in a shitty apartment with barely decent and affordable rent was nothing short of miserable.
“How much?”
“A thousand,” He offers—a shrug of uncertainty follows.
Silence stretches.
“Two thousand? Come on–that’s a thousand for each week.”
“Make it three and you’ve got a deal.”
The agent is quiet for a few seconds before he caves, sighing heavily, “Fuck, fine. Three. Can I drop him off tonight?”
“Tonight?” You balk, “You know, you’re actually the worst.”
His hands grip your shoulders, shaking you with far too much force than needed, “You’re a lifesaver, thank you.”
He’s long gone and buried in a phone call before you grumble a disgruntled, “You’re welcome.”
-
You consider later that evening that disclosing the recent…activities around your apartment complex would have been a good idea, especially with someone as high profile as Lucien taking up space in your one bedroom apartment.
Three break-ins in the past two weeks, noisy and unruly neighbors both above and sandwiching you—it wasn’t exactly peaceful or safe, but it was something.
You wait with a creeping anxiety as you tap your chopsticks against the homemade ramen you’ve made for yourself, one true moment of happiness in the day as you’re finally sitting down to relax, feet aching terribly.
It was coffee runs and constant back and forths over forgotten supplies or paperwork—it was the perfect job to keep you active and on your toes, never sure when someone might blow up on you for whatever reason it may be—you were nothing special, helpful, but when it came down to it, you were more or less in the way, so you often made yourself small out of habit.
The knock that startles you is hurried, like a panic. It sends your heart rate skyrocketing but your name echoes on the other side of the door, scrambling to open the door, you’re faced with two men.
The agent, James, a decent man despite his unorganized and erratic personality—and Lucien, a piss poor disguise covering his face.
You snort, addressing the ball cap and sunglasses with an amused expression, it was doing nothing to cover the instantly recognizable wispy brown hair of his and aquiline nose—the upcoming king of stage and screen. It was a wonder he even made it here in one piece.
“A natural chameleon,” You joke, widening your door to let them inside—the apartment was clean, thankfully. You’d scramble to get home after work and pick up, given you didn’t have much time to actually prepare, “seriously—get inside before someone clocks you.”
The agent stays though, like his feet were planted.
“He’s all yours,” He tells you, “you’ve got my number—don’t let him leave. I’ll check in when I can. Keep an eye out for paps.”
“Hey, no—” You interject, watching as the agent turned on his heels and departed, “we didn’t agree to—”, turning the corner with a shout of a long, helpless, “that!”
You sigh with a deep frown, turning over your shoulder to find Lucien with a chopstick in hand, noodle dangling from the utensil with a curious face, sniffing it cautiously.
“Hey!” You chastise, plucking the chopstick from his fingers, “Stop that.”
He looks at you curiously, obviously taken aback by your tone of voice and lack of intimidation by him, like a startled cat.
Jesus, okay.
You force a calming breath through your nose and look up at him, “Would you like some?”
“Is it gluten free?” Lucien inquires, peering over your shoulder at the still steaming hot bowl of soup.
“Actually, yeah,” Your brow furrows, “it—it is.”
“Sure,” He shrugs, beginning to remove his cap and glasses, along with his jacket, resting them haphazardly on the kitchen island as he takes a seat on the only other unoccupied barstool in your kitchen.
“Oh no,” You swiftly rectify his actions, “we’re not doing this—there’s a coat rack for a reason and a shelf by the door for things like,” You walk toward the front door, hand circling the object like a cherished belonging, “keys—sunglasses, hats,” You stress the final two words and point at the items before jutting your thumb frustratingly at the door, “—if you don’t mind, while I make your dinner.”
It was clear he’s spent most of the past several years with people ready and waiting on him, never questioning or ordering around, but it was basic human decency, you weren’t going to allow him to be amiss to it.
He obliges quietly, a surprise to you. You hide the satisfied smirk as you pour the broth into the bowl along with the noodles before placing the bowl on his side of the island, placing another dish near him, scattered with different toppings.
Lucien looks silently intrigued, the ends of his mouth curling down in interest as he sprinkles various toppings over his food, beginning to eat silently as you return to your own meal.
After a long enough silence and Lucien’s occasional slurping you decide to set a hard boundary, given the various personalities you’ve dealt with in the industry, it was you being proactive out of habit.
“Let me be clear, I’m not doing this out of the goodness of my heart,” You inform him, locking eyes with his intense stare, something you hadn’t forgotten, not since the on-set incident, “This is still my home. Don’t be an asshole about it.”
“James said you were a firecracker,” Lucien smirks slightly, resting his chopsticks along the top of the bowl, “and a little bit of a bitch, but—”
“Good, he hasn’t lost his mind then.”
“Don’t worry, I’m a professional at this shit now. You won’t even know I’m here.”
Highly unlikely, you think.
He even makes a point by grabbing his bowl and emptying it before placing it in the sink before extending his hand out to your own bowl. You watch him wash the dishes, something that looks unnatural, but you aren’t going to complain.
“You always cook like that?” Lucien asks curiously over the running water, head turning over his shoulder briefly.
“No, only Friday. I never have time otherwise, work is…busy,” A generous way to describe it, but Lucien doesn’t seem to care or question, drying off the last dish before extending his hands out by his side in a grand gesture.
Maybe he was expecting a roaring applause, but you don’t give him the satisfaction. You offer him a genuine thank you but it doesn’t extend beyond that before you’re trailing a few feet over toward the living room, a clean pillow and blanket draped over the couch, along with a fitted sheet if he felt like using it. It was all unmade, allowing him to set it up himself.
“Also,” You clasp your hands together at your front, “James didn’t mention this because I didn’t tell him but we’ve had a string of break-ins for a while now, so—always keep the deadbolt locked. Please.”
His eyes widen, looking around the apartment for the quickest escape. You were on the seventh floor, the only other escape option was a less than reliable balcony that you barely used.
“I have a bat,” You tell him, before pointing toward the door beside the entrance, “in the shoe closet, but I think we’re okay.”
“Think?”
You shrug, “It hasn’t happened yet, but the police have shit response time around here.”
Lucien looks overwhelmed, but nods.
“Oh, and the neighbors like to have really loud sex—walls are thin. Have fun.”
“No puedo creer esta mierda—” He mumbles under his breath as you turn your back, a sharp flap of a sheet, and a short laugh from you follows.
“Blame your agent, Lucien.”
He didn’t think you’d understand him, but your astute hearing proved otherwise.
Lucien was putting on an act with his gesture, clearly.
He doesn’t respond, pouting his way through the process of setting up his new bed for the next couple weeks in silence, ignoring the soft click to your door as you turn in for the night, the creeping and soft city noises filtering in through the thin apartment walls.
It wouldn’t be an easy night but he's never really liked big, empty houses anyways.
—
The weekend is uneventful; you fear it might be a dream, too good to be true, a complete fluke.
Maybe he had a change of heart overnight, but Lucien is overly polite.
He deconstructs his bed both mornings, packing it away in a corner of the living room, listening to the television at a reasonable volume with fresh coffee in the coffee pot, he cleans up his dishes and leaves a marginal mess.
The real kicker—he has the ability to keep the toilet seat down with your now shared bathroom attached to your bedroom, a real…gentleman.
You eyed him suspiciously most of the day, when he’s unaware and preoccupied, wondering when the facade would drop. Does he even remember the coffee incident?
He had to, right?
He approaches with a silent gesture of his emptied cup as you fill your own.
Fine—you pull the cup from his grip and fill it to the brim, sliding it back over carefully.
He sips gingerly as he raises it to his lip before speaking, “S’good coffee.”
“Thanks,” You answer nonchalantly, pouring a generous amount of sugar and cream into your coffee and stirring, watching as the dark black lightened into a soft brown, “are you a coffee guy?”
“I’m an anything guy,” Lucien responds, “but—good, it’s good. I’m impressed.”
“Why?” You ask with a little more bark than needed, a flippant tone rounding out your morning irritation as you readied for work. “Are you—you really don’t remember, do you?”
Lucien raised his eyebrows in question, expectant.
“Your last job, up in Hollywood Hills. You spilled coffee all over me, blamed me, then got me suspended for a week, because of your outburst. I barely managed rent that month”
His eyes narrow, recollecting the thought like he’d been stricken with temporary amnesia.
“You’re all so much of the same, y’know?” You continue, sipping generously from your cup as his face relaxes, following your movements with a casual glance. “Cocky, egotistical, little dicked men. Without me you wouldn’t have that ridiculous fifteen dollar hyper whateverthefuck water you insisted you needed in your trailer, or your dry cleaning? God forbid. Seriously, fuck you.”
“Wait—” Lucien staunches, hold his hand up in pause, “hold on—”
You wait for approximately half a second before you roll your eyes, pushing beyond him to gather your bag and keys, “You know, I don’t need a disingenuous apology. I’m not doing this as a favor. I’m being paid.”
James had lied to him, that much he was figuring out as he processed the situation. You weren’t someone offering up free charity, a helping hand for a starving actor in need—except that wasn’t the case for him. Despite his team's careful guidance; he was a repeat offender of bad choices and money management, a part-time alcoholic, and a serial flirt. He knew how to play his hand and he was good at it, but with you—it was clear that you were a challenge.
But, it was only a couple weeks. He could survive that. He was a people person first and foremost and he’d charm the hell out of you if given the opportunity.
“James said he’d be by in an hour to pick you up for your meetings today—lock the door when you leave. Please.”
Still speechless, he watches you leave with a stiff, crisp shut of the door.
He couldn’t remember, racking his brain for one incident after another. His own fair share made him cringe in hindsight, but he…couldn’t remember. He’d almost hoped you were a fresh face, leaving him free of judgment, but it was clear that this situation was about pure survival.
-
“You did do that,” James confirmed to him as they left the first brand meeting that morning, “It was the morning of the big awards show—you remember?” He doesn’t wait for Lucien’s response, continuing, “Poor kid got her ass chewed out and had to take a trip to the clinic for the burns. It was…a mess. Never cried, though. I’ll give her that.”
And, like a strike of a match, it floods back. You’re shocked expression, mouth slightly agape as the sting of pain settled in, bracing for the impact of Lucien’s wrath because you knew. A man allergic to accountability, oozing power, it was almost too easy.
“Shit.”
“Yeah. Apologies seem pointless now, but it could help. But…be genuine.”
“I’m genuine.”
James gives him a certain look, one that argues otherwise.
“I am.”
Only time would tell, really.
By the end of your work day, it was with great relief as you stepped through the door of your apartment until you remembered one fine detail you had told Lucien more than once.
Lock the door.
The eeriness hits you as the door clicks shut behind you, the place falling into a dead silence for a brief moment, your bag hitting the counter as you maneuvered your keys between your fingers, ready to take on what you could with what little strength you had to offer.
Just maul their face off, that seemed like the best option.
You count the seconds in your head, breath held tight and constricted in your chest. You quickly check the available pathways—living room, kitchen, before slipping down the hall, left with the only room to flee if not away from your apartment.
Bedroom light off, not a thing out of place, pristine even—but your eyes track toward the bathroom light seeping underneath the gap in the door. With careful, measured movements you approach the door although you haven’t thought through the actual process of what you wanted to do.
But, before you can react the door is swinging open as the bathroom is plunged into darkness, revealing a sopping wet Lucien, towel tied tight around his waist as he slings a smaller one over his shoulders, completely relaxed until he spots you.
Both of you scream—you out of anger and fear, Lucien at the incoming hand that he snatches by the wrist, your eyes landing on each other, your nostrils flaring in frustration.
“You’re insane!” Lucien shouts, shoving your hand away, “You nearly tore my face off.”
“I thought you were an intruder,” You seethe, “—what kind of maniac showers with the front door unlocked while home alone?”
“You said you had a bat,” Lucien excuses, “I could have defended myself.”
You sigh, plucking the keys from your grip before you toss them on your bed, stepping away from Lucien and away from the radiating heat of his body as it glistened, obnoxiously.
“Get out,” You snap, “get out—go—”
“I was just gonna…grab my clothes and come change in,” He weakly gestures toward the bathroom, earning a sharp look of distaste in his direction, “alright—alright, Jesus.”
He pauses for a moment, though. Before the lightbulb clicks on and he’s scrambling into the living room and back in record time, shoving a small white envelope into your hands.
“What is this?” You ask tensely, blindly ripping at the seal as you stare at him.
“It’s uh—what I owe you, for the coffee thing. I…I remember now. Figured I could pay you for the work I made you miss…is that about right?”
You peer at the wad of cash. It was indeed, enough.
“You’re unbelievable,” You reply, shaking your head.
It gives him false hope, wondering if it was all going to be brushed under the rug and that he could continue the rest of his stay in a somewhat semblance of peace, but then your expression flips and oh…that’s not…
“Are you physically incapable of saying the words “I’m sorry”—would it kill you? Allergic to accountability? God, you know what, I’m gonna call James and tell him I just can’t do—”
“No,” Lucien panics, hand around your bicep as you attempt to push past him, immediately recognizing the fierceness of his grip he loosens it, calms himself, “no—please, listen…I…I didn’t think you’d care enough to hear it. I do remember now and I was a dick, I was trying to offer a gesture of good faith. Peace, even?”
“Is this even your money?” You ask curiously, brow furrowed as you help up the envelope.
“Yeah, yeah—I pulled it out of my savings. Why? Do you…not want it?”
You quickly snatch the envelope away, “No, I’ll take it. But, words mean a lot. Like calling me an ignorant little bitch.”
“Okay, okay. I am sorry. I had a lot going on and I know that isn’t an excuse either, but I am.”
You tilt your head in examination, peering through the raw emotion on his face, whether he was putting on a masterclass in acting or not, it was believable enough. You could remain bitter, even if it meant suffering in silence, but you liked the peace just as much as he, so you compromise.
“You still have to get out,” You inform him, walking your fingers tauntingly toward the door, “and I swear, Lucien, if you used all the hot water—”
-
Lucien was insistent about rehearsing at least five hours a day, even on weekends. Luckily, most of those days you were spared, but when you’re barricaded away in your bedroom, sound travels. And Lucien doesn't care much to stifle his performance, maybe it was a weapon to backfire at your inconsiderate neighbors, but it was driving you insane.
He’s stuck on one scene, clearly a building tension that explodes and apparently he can’t nail, having heard the lines a hundred times over through the muffled walls—your first instinct was to complain, tell him take it elsewhere, but you remember your deal with James. Lucien just needed a place to stay for a while and this was his job.
Eventually, you poke your head through your bedroom door with a cautious expression, watching Lucien examine his face in the mirror, filing through various emotions before he finally gives up, tossing the script against the counter.
He spots you as he turns, already gearing up to apologize or maybe even excuse—but instead, you speak.
“Is it for an audition?”
“How’d you know?”
“The yelling, the emotion—I guess? I help on set with self tapes from time to time. I’ve learned to spot the difference between just memorizing lines and trying to feel the script.”
Lucien pushes his lips out in thought, tongue rolling over his teeth as his hands settle against his hips, pushing the sweatpants lower on his hips as he stands, deliberating.
“Just ask,” You tell him.
“You any good?”
It was a genuine question, not meant to attack your own ego. Besides, it makes you laugh.
“I’ll get your good side,” You promise him, surfacing from your room as you beckon for his phone with your hand, getting straight to work.
It only takes a few minutes to find a solid place to set up, against one of your cream colored walls, pictureless and plain, but with ample lighting from inside and out, it highlighted the wispy grays in Lucien’s untamed curls hanging over his forehead, the wrinkles creasing there as he looked down at the script and examined the text.
“Do you have them memorized?”
Lucien nods absently, his finger trailing down the side of the paper until it was suddenly gone, snatched from his hands with a smile on your face as you pointed for him to slide into frame. You take a step back, watching the screen with a careful eye before motioning with a finger for him to move a few centimeters to the left, “There. Perfect.”
You flatten out the creased paper as you speak, “From the top?”
Lucien smiles halfheartedly—the stress washing from his face for a moment—and nods.
–
You could keep up, that much was obvious.
Lucien is used to the monotone voice on the other side of the camera during auditions, forced tones and half-cocked emotion, it was hard to act against and with, but he’s learned to push through for the sake of a role.
It was an emotional scene, almost a requirement to have that intensity to act against and Lucien caught your eye line at one point, face buried in the script as you uttered the lines with teary eyes, letting your own emotion fill you to the brim and flow out, giving him a real and authentic reaction to act against.
He watched it back with a grin, mostly out of his own cocky admiration for himself but the secret you’ve been hoarding, a welcome surprise.
“Have you never considered acting?” Lucien asks curiously, emailing the video off to his agent.
“Cameras are daunting,” You shrug, folding and filing away some freshly washed towels as Lucien reclined on your couch, “I prefer being behind them.”
“You’re a natural,” He offers honestly, “that’s really rare.”
You shake your head in amusement as you riffled through the unfolded laundry, separating in different piles until you come across a no longer white blouse, stained a soft pink—and of course, Lucien. It was Lucien who offered to take laundry down the night prior, needing a moment away from being cooped up in the apartment, swearing he had it under control.
“I told you not to put this in the wash load with the colors! Look at this—” You held up the obviously stained blouse, crumpling up the fabric and tossing it to the couch with a frustrated huff.
“To be fair, it’s been years since I did my own laundry,” Lucien responds casually, “—don’t worry, I’ll have James buy you another.”
Your face twitches, actually twitches.
“No, no—it…it’s fine. It’s only a shirt,” You tuck a loose hair behind your ear as you heave the towels into your arm, “just—whites and colors, always separate them.”
And while living with Lucien had mellowed out some, it was still tumultuous at times.
Fighting over the bathroom was a regular occurrence, both of you guilty. But, that could be worked through, it wasn’t the end of the world. Occasionally it was the lights, a bad habit of Lucien’s to leave them lingering in his wait, lamps and fixtures, nothing was safe. Opened cabinets, items forgotten and out of place. It was all tedious and frustrating, picking and choosing your battles as they came, brushing far too much under the rub for the sake of peace.
You knew it was almost over, enjoying a quiet night to yourself while Lucien was apparently out at dinner—you weren’t sure, you didn’t really care, but you enjoyed the glimpse of what was to return to you, tucked away on the couch while half-dressed, hand stuffed into a freshly popped bowl of popcorn.
It was Friday and your neighbors never failed to come home from a rowdy night of partying with everything but sleeping on their mind, getting straight to business and your grab for the remote was immediate, turning up the volume to drown out the obnoxious moans and groans of drunk sex happening on the other side of the wall.
Lucien arrives back somewhere near the middle of the movie, the soft laughs from you pulling his attention to the couch as he clocked the nineties rom-com on the television, your cheek resting against your balled up fist, placing his wallet against the counter to signal his entrance.
“Loud enough for you?” Lucien jokes, approaching the singular piece of furniture in your living room, fingertips pressing against the arm of the couch as he takes in your appearance, shirt barely reaching beyond mid-thigh, thick socks keeping you warm as you curled in on yourself, careless that Lucien was definitely looking you make a noise in question, the words processing in a delayed manner.
You reach for the remote, pausing the movie briefly to reveal the reason; the insistent thump of wood against cheap sheetrock and moans, squealy and high-pitched, forcing a raised eyebrow from Lucien that needed no words.
“Nevermind,” He concedes,hands thrown up in defeat with a chuckle hidden behind his teeth, walking closer to examine the screen, filing through his internal rolodex of films and drawing a blank.
“Are you going to keep standing there like a total weirdo or are you going to watch the movie?” You ask with a joking tone, tucking your feet underneath you as you made room, glancing down at your phone as a notification brought the screen to life.
Lucien catches the faint tug of a smile on your face as you type away, clicking the phone into sleep mode a few moments later before continuing the movie without a word.
You’re not sure which one of you succumbs to sleep first, but it didn’t matter, finding that you both aligned together easily as you slept, covered with a blanket that Lucien must have snatched somewhere near without disturbing you—and when you wake in the middle of the night, complex quiet throughout, you can’t even find it in you to move.
–
Lucien’s length of stay was diminishing quickly and you were relieved, only a few more days and things would be back to normal, you’d be three thousand dollars richer, and you wouldn’t have to confront the fact that Lucien wasn’t entirely as bad as he seemed, temper aside.
You’re both on your way out the door on a weekday morning when you spot him, navy blue hoodie draping his body, one you favored because of its size and comfortability.
“That’s mine,” You utter as you’re fisting your keys into your hand and tucking a makeup applicator away in your bag, “that’s…mine—why is it on your body?”
Lucien looks down, perplexed. He could’ve swore…
“It’s mine, I swear,” You’re peering over his shoulder and pulling at the collar, examining the tag by his neck, or lack thereof—you always cut them out, hated the feeling against your skin.
“It’s mine,” You say with finality, “But, it’s fine. I’ve been meaning to replace it anyways. And now that you’ve worn it, definitely.”
“Ouch,” Lucien chuckles, shaking his head at your bluntness, “I guess I deserve that. I did think it was mine, though. Swear. Must’ve gotten mixed up somehow.”
“Oh, well, just burn it now—oh, shit, before I forget,” You point your finger at his chest, stopping him in his tracks, “I’ve got a date tonight. I’ll more than likely be gone when you get back here. I’m leaving a key under the mat, you know the deal. Respect it…protect it like you give a shit if anything happens, it’s all I have.”
“Date?” Lucien teases, “Sounds—”
“We’re not doing this,” You cut him short, finger raising higher in reprimand, “don’t do that.”
Again, Lucien values his well-being, so he admits defeat.
It was difficult for him, his eagerness to please and charm, to command the conversation and impress—but with you, it was impossible. Truly, it was mesmerizing to him.
It was several hours later when Lucien arrived at the apartment, pointedly locking the door behind him as you had reminded him several times—he wasn’t completely aloof.
His orders takeout on a whim, disguised under a fake name and the careful directions to leave at the door, having practiced the art of subtly when it came to laying low, enjoying a couple beers from a pack James had bought him as a small celebration for a week of good, decent meetings.
Things had been looking up recently and it made Lucien unsettled in a way, but thankful nonetheless, sipping at the beer generously and relaxing well into the night, dusk turning to black skies and few twinkling star lights, drowned out by the thick smog of city pollution. It started raining eventually, a soft pattern picking up gradually and he, for natural reasoning, is slightly concerned. So, he stays up despite some lingering exhaustion, barely hitting a quarter beyond eight o’clock when the door handle rattles, soft curses on the other side of the door that send him to his feet, peering through the peephole to spot a sufficiently blurry outline of you.
And what he opens the door to is not what he’s expecting, although, he wasn’t even sure what he was expecting in the first place, but this…it wasn’t it.
You were wet, clothes dripping and rain water pooling at your feet, everything sticking to you like an uncomfortable glue, cold and shivering, your bottom lip trembling.
Without thinking, Lucien shifts into action.
He doesn’t ask a single question, not at first. Silently pulling the items off of you as you allow him; keys and purse first, clanging against the counter before he’s pulling your coat of, blouse, even kneeling down to remove your shoes before he’s carrying the clothes to the bathroom with you in tow, turning on the shower until it was steaming up the mirrors, heat radiating through the room as you pulled at the button of your jeans weakly, fumbling with cold and feeble hands.
He holds his hands up, careful not to approach in a way that would startle you or force you into attack mode, which seemed unlikely with the disheartened look on your face and he asks quietly, “Do you need help?”
You’re quiet for a long, tense moment before you nod, trying to quell the full body shivers as he assists you in stripping down to your underwear, also soaked. He pulls the curtain back and helps you over the side of the tub with the solid weight of his hand and speaks again despite your silence, “I’ll wait in your room—do you need anything?”
It doesn’t take a genius to piece things together as Lucien settles against the edge of the bed and it angers him for some forlorn reason, a feeling he hasn’t experienced in a long time. When the shower cuts off, he straightens, hesitates—should he leave?
You’d want privacy, right? Yeah. No, definitely.
He rises to his feet without another thought, his awful timing sending you straight into his chest as you swung the door open, towel snug around your body and smelling sharply of fresh, citrus body wash.
“S-sorry,” You stammer out, “you don’t—you don’t have to wait around, Lucien. Or give a shit, either. I don’t expect you to and I don’t care—”
It was unusually cold. He’s become familiar with your snark, that sharp and cunning personality, but this was different. This was a push, a defense of hard and impenetrable walls building up before his eyes and he speaks without thinking, hoping that it slips through the cracks.
“Regardless, I’ll listen,” Lucien provides—it wasn’t an overwhelming expression of fake, forced care or, god forbid, love. But, it was a raw enough response that it grabs your attention, “—if you want me to.”
—
He cranked up the heat while you dressed, flipped open his leftover takeout, and listened. You weren’t used to this and for a while, you were half-expecting him to find a way to turn the situation on himself, a sob story for a sob story. But, he doesn’t.
“This sushi…” You savor the taste, eyes falling closed.
“Good, isn’t it?” Lucien smirks, popping another into his mouth with careful precision, chopsticks in hand.
You could cry, it was such a strong and startling feeling that it caught you off-guard, “Yeah, really good.”
You clear your throat, tears shoved aside, “Have you ever ditched a date before?”
Lucien shakes his head with a subtle frown.
“Right, Lucien De Leon,” You respond jokingly, that magical emphasis around his name, “any woman would be dying for all of….this,” You gesture to him lazily with a faux disgust that couldn’t even be forced, both of you divulging into a laugh.
“Hey, you said it,” Lucien shrugs with a pointed wink that you shouldn’t find so attractive, but the natural charm he emits makes it impossible, “—but, no. Can’t say I have.”
“Even the ones who wouldn’t put out?”
“At the risk of sounding like an asshole—“ Lucien begins, but you follow the rhythm of the conversation and it isn’t long before the lightbulb strikes on and you’re nodding.
“Right, you probably don’t have an issue in that department. Stupid question, sorry.”
You pluck the last piece of sushi off the styrofoam and chew, speaking behind your hand, “I should’ve known that dude was a prick, only stared at my tits the entire date.”
Out of reflex, his eyes drag to your chest and you click the movement in an instant, “Not helping,” You warn him lightly, “I guess I was too blunt, he kept…touching me. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable going back to his place, he made some excuse to go to the bathroom and I waited for a half hour. Until the server came by with the bill—so, not only did he ditch me, I paid a hundred dollar tab and I didn’t even eat my food.”
Even in Lucien’s wild days, he couldn’t imagine doing that. Not when he was drinking more heavily, partying, hooking up on a daily basis—before his first failed marriage, it was foreign to him.
“You could’ve called me, or James, shit—an uber.”
“Phone died,” You shrug lamely, “it doesn’t matter, anyways. And don’t get me wrong, casual sex—it’s fine, but I got too hopeful, I guess. All men are the same.”
“Come on,” Lucien jests, “that’s not fair.”
“Fine, enlighten me, then.”
“You can’t expect fairytale shit—I mean, I’m one failed marriage and plenty of missteps in my life. Do you think I’m a bad guy?”
“Do you want me to answer that honestly?”
Lucien sighs in defeat, scratching at his mused hair as he tosses the empty food container aside.
“I’m fucking with you,” You offer in a quieter tone—even if you weren’t friends with him, he didn’t have to put in the effort to help or listen, but he was, “I’m—just, thank you.”
“I’m in good graces now?” Lucien asks curiously, that playful mischief gracing his face with a smile.
You make a motion with your hand from your head as you grab, like pulling a thought and throwing it away, “Coffee incident? Forgotten—unless you pull some heinous shit.”
“You know, I might actually miss this,” His finger does a swirling motion, encompassing your living room, “you—eh,” a shaky hand motion that earns a jab to his thigh from your foot, “shit, ouch—that was a joke.”
“I know,” You concede with a smirk, “—I won’t, though. I want my couch back. And my bathroom.”
“If it makes you feel better, I think you’re a catch,” He tells you, “although, I do like the ones that bite, so—“
You reach forward this time, swatting playful at his chest with the back of your hand, but his fast reflexes beat you, your fingers smacking into solid rings.
He snickers softly and examines the grimace on your face as you pull back, “Pobrecita,” He coos mockingly, reaching for your hand and pressing a gentle kiss against the skin, “see what I mean?”
You ignore the heat that strikes through your body like a freshly lit match, pulling your hand away with a distinct eye roll.
He’d be gone soon and this would all be a ridiculous memory to think back on.
There was no room for newly evolving feelings, or worse, infatuation.
—
The three months you spend falling back into your normal routine is monotonous, safe, but the kind of security that has you itching for change. You find yourself checking on Lucien more often than you should, regular social media checks, the occasional subtle question to James when you happened to catch him on set. It wasn’t healthy, but you couldn’t help yourself.
He did seem more erratic, often coming across other quick clips and social media stories of him at the club during waking hours, pure reckless abandon, he was having the time of his life—you couldn’t blame him, but it was…slightly alarming.
It was a Saturday night when all hell broke loose, police sirens raining down the street as you raced to your open window, peering down at the obscured face of a man in cuffs as he was roughly shoved into a police car before there’s a pounding knock at the door, your heart nearly bursting out of your chest at the sound.
Turning on your heels and swinging the door open, you can’t help but find yourself speechless at the sight.
“Think they caught your burglar,” Lucien notes under his baseball cap, eyes catching the cascading red and blue lights outside your window, duffel bag at his feet and a regretful look on James’ face.
You tilt your head at the discovery, your brain working overtime before your eyes widen.
“Just hear him out,” He pleads with prayer like hands, phone sandwiched between two begging palms, “Lucien—go,”
Lucien seems to stutter-step in his mind, not expecting to be the one leading this proposition as he side-eyes James, “I…need a place to stay…again,” Lucien squints his eyes and stares up at the ceiling, looking almost embarrassed, “for the next six months.”
“No,” You nearly shout out incredulously, “the first time wasn’t a trial run.”
There’s a long moment of tense eye contact and uncertainty.
An underlying worry in your gut at the sight of Lucien, a little worse for wear but still mostly himself, gripping tightly at his carry-on bag in his hand, thumb rubbing nervously at the leather strap.
Goddammit.
–
He’s paying the entire six months of rent he planned on staying there while he filmed for a movie they were shooting a short ten minute drive from your complex, a quaint little studio gracious enough to let the crew film free of charge—he’d given you the whole spiel, in one ear and out the other still wondering how you’ve tangled yourself in this web again.
“Can I just ask you one thing?” You inquire, helping him file away some of his clothes in a drawer you had emptied out for him like this was normal. He makes a soft noise of acknowledgment with his lips pursed together, tired sunken eyes staring back at you, “Why not get your own apartment? A house? I mean, you’ve got the money?”
Lucien clears his throat, scratching at his neck where it jostles his chains, fingers slipping under the silk fabric of his shirt, “I, uh—feel weird…livingalone,” He rushes out, quickly turning to grab more clothes as you stand, hand placed against the top of your dresser as your brow furrows, feeling like you’d just fallen deaf.
“Come again?”
A small huff as Lucien passes a stack of expensive shirts, material that had to be ethically sourced or…some bullshit like that, he’s told you the story before in passing.
“I don’t like living alone, ‘s why I float,” He offers lamely, tossing the empty duffel into the corner of your room—you’d pick it up later, it didn’t matter, “I left all my old stuff to my ex-wife, it was easier that way.”
Often you had to remind yourself that Lucien was older, nearing his late forties while you were still managing through your late twenties, a big thirty on the horizon.
It dawns on you then that you don’t know much about Lucien at all outside of tabloids and gossip sites, the rumor mills running through Hollywood—you often find yourself reminding you of the fact he was still a person, with troubles, clearer now more than ever.
“It wasn’t always like this,” He assures you, “I’m a fuckin’ mess, I already know.”
“I think we’re beyond judgment, Lucien,” You assure him, “You saw me sobbing and nearly naked—just keep this place clean, like you give a shit about it, alright?”
Lucien nods dutifully, “Yes, ma’am.”
–
You learn quickly that his long term stay meant that little quirks were beginning to surface—always organizing your things out on the sink opposite of his own, a small gesture that didn’t go unnoticed when you were rushing out the door on days he wasn’t given a call time. Or how he always made sure there was food waiting when he arrived before you—takeout or not. He wasn’t a great cook, but he could manage.
In turn, you tried to cook more often. And he loved to hover, but not with a homey, warm feeling that made you feel safe, rather like a curious dog nipping at your ankles. And more so, he would finish his own plate before looking cautiously at your own before you nod, allowing him to pick from your plate with a greediness that made you giggle under your breath.
“My ex-wife never cooked,” He had told you once, “I mean, she tried—but she was terrible. And this,” His tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek as he steps at the homemade ravioli, “is there anything you can’t do?”
“Say no, apparently,” You gave him a solid once-over, a look from head to toe—he’s never offended anymore, taking the playful jest in stride, it had already been a month and it was beginning to feel like normal, again, having him there.
Your conflicting schedules meant a lot of time away from each other, which wasn’t bad. It almost helped more than you expected and while your apartment wasn’t well-fit for a roommate, Lucien made the place feel less empty.
You couldn’t say it out loud, but you were starting to understand the charm. You could see beyond the facade and the persona—a troubled man with ambition, purpose, but a mountain of struggles. The drinking wasn’t a surprise, nor his uptick in smoking. He always smoked out the window so the smell wouldn’t permeate, but the drinking started to become…an issue.
It wasn’t that Lucien couldn’t handle himself when he drank, but he often did it to fill the dead time—so he said—when you were still at work, fighting with his own demons in his mind. He always ended up on your bed those nights, curled up in a fetal position at the wrong end and you couldn’t find it in yourself to move him, draping a blanket over him before you decided to spend the night on the couch. It was a weekly occurrence after a while, slowly growing in frequency.
He always apologizes, tells you he won’t do it again, but eventually you find yourself melding around him, sleeping in a way that keeps you comfortable and doesn’t disturb him. You don’t judge him, don’t think any lower of him—but there was concern and Lucien could see it growing with every passing conversation as the weeks dragged along.
By the third month, the dam breaks.
You don’t sugarcoat anything for him either.
“Do you need rehab?” You ask bluntly, watching him peel the gold-flaked under eye patches from his face, shoulder leaned against the doorframe, “Or, like, therapy?”
“I’m not an alcoholic,” He defends, washing his hands under the warm water, “I can get sober if I wanna, but it helps with the stress, you know?”
“No,” You respond honestly, but softly, “I don’t. Unless this is just some big excuse for you to sleep in my bed, which if it is—”
Lucien chuckles, toweling his hands dry, “You caught me.”
“You would tell me if it was getting bad, wouldn’t you?”
It seemed like the least he could do, considering how greatly you were carrying the burden for him by allowing him to stay in the comfort of your own home, treating him like a human. You ignored the tabloids anymore, always negative and nefarious toward him, like he wasn’t allowed to make a few mistakes along the way. He had to be perfect, given his troubling start in the industry. DUIs, cheating, eventually settling down to marry but that didn’t work out great for him either—you’d done some research lately, out of pure curiosity to understand what he wasn’t always willing to share, but you preferred to hear it from him.
Lucien squeezes at your chin in a comforting manner that makes you grimace in feigned disgust, forcing a gentle laugh through your nose as he answers, “Yes, I would.”
–
When he should, he doesn’t.
Award season was approaching and work was hectic, Lucien had wrapped on his next project and his previous one was gearing for a big release and line of promos, which meant Lucien had to be on his game.
The lamp in your living was broken, a shattered glass bottle on the floor beside it, a trail of clothes following to your room and a heat in the apartment that was sweltering in a way that had you stripping down immediately to the thinnest layer you could manage without getting to your underwear, jeans and a thin strapped top as you walked barefoot toward your room.
You weren’t sure what you were expecting or hoping for, but it isn’t this.
He’s naked, completely bare, save for the blanket draping his groin to save his modesty, out cold but skin obviously clammy, reeking of alcohol and sweat and you can’t help scrambling to the floor, unable to form any type of tangible sound. You check for a pulse, fearing that you might have just found yourself in an inescapable scandal, but it was there. That soft thump, thump, thump under your fingertips before you press the back of your hand to his skin and despite the sweat, he’s cold. He must have sweat out most of the alcohol in his system, your eyes dragging to the forgotten bottle on the ground.
You sigh, eyes falling closed as you gather your thoughts. You devise a plan, slow and methodical—first was to clean, grabbing the clothes and broken glass from the ground, leaving no trace of his mayhew before you’re returning to your room and straight for the bathroom, immediately turning on the cold water, the stream forceful as it pushed through the showerhead.
“Fuck,” You curse to yourself as you glance at Lucien who is mostly dead-weight, struggling to understand how you can get him from one point to another—with another quiet huff you approach him, shifting until you can get your arms under his armpits and heave him up, blanket falling from his waist as you yelp, eyes shooting toward the ceiling as you continue to drag his slumped body toward the tub, “okay—god, Lucien, you fucking owe me.”
It takes some maneuvering and the unbelievability that you are so incredibly close to his bare ass and dick in a way that most would fall over backwards for, regardless of the situation—it felt wrong, seeing him in such a manner and so completely helpless, but you shove the thought aside as you finally get him in the tub, the cold water waking him almost immediately.
It starts with a gasp, a sharp tug of the curtain and coarse, “Shit,” that assures you he was alive and well, coherent, even. A small smile tugs at your lips as you hear him let out a string of curses before he finally settles.
“There’s a bottle of water and some Advil on the counter—take it,” You instruct behind the curtain, “I’m going to grab dinner—try not to hurt yourself, please.”
He doesn’t acknowledge you, not that you expected it. And it doesn’t take long to grab the food either, calling it in and driving there and back in about twenty minutes, finding Lucien freshly showered and sitting on the stool near the counter, eyes telling a story of exhaustion but his insistently bouncing leg telling another.
“Chicken or steak?” You ask nonchalantly, holding the styrofoam containers in both hands.
He takes a moment to answer, unsettled by your calmness, “...steak.”
You hand it over without a question, grabbing a couple drinks before you’re digging in, standing opposite of him rather than sitting, eating in a silence that grows, thickens.
“It’s quiet,” You note the obvious before you scroll through your phone, searching for a soft tune to play through your speakers, something to fill the air, “better—how’s the food?”
“I like it,” Lucien responds with a full mouth, somehow endearing as he swallows and sips at the second water you offered him, attempting to help keep him hydrated, even if it was still annoyingly hot in your apartment, “—I…I think I broke your AC.”
“You did. I’ll put in a work order for it to get fixed,” You answer, a solution to the problem, “are you okay?”
If Lucien was being honest with himself, he can’t remember the last time anyone has asked him that—not genuinely, anyways. He falls silently, biting at his bottom lip in deep thought as his eyes squint, poking quietly at his food.
Talking was hard, you understood that. But, you hoped there was some trust built between you in the past few months, that you hadn’t laid your vulnerabilities out bare the night you came home rain soaked without the ability for him to share too. Plus, he’d broken your favorite lamp.
“It’s complicated,” Lucien diverts, but that doesn’t stop you, eyes lying in wait as you laid your utensil down to listen, “—I’ve got two kids. One, he’s eighteen…awesome, awesome kid. His name is Raynor. I didn’t meet him until a few years back, I’ve been tryin’ take make up for that. We even went on a roadtrip a couple summers back.”
Lucien fiddles with the cap on the water bottle idly, speaking further, “I, the other, my daughter, she’s a couple years old—it was a crazy night with a co-star,” You clock the information immediately, knowing who he was talking about without the confession, and he knew too—it wasn’t exactly a well kept secret in Hollywood as Delia was now married, to another co-star, raising that child, “a long story for another time, but we’re going through this nasty court battle.”
It would explain his financial situation a little, his willingness to take roles as he could, but the growing stress on his face as weeks passed, the tendency to hide or ignore the situation rather than face it—you understood, to a degree.
“So, all the drinking? The transiency?”
“It just helps,” He shrugs—helps him forget, temporarily, before it all comes barreling back at him, “she wants to revoke shared custody—she’s got her more anyways, with my work and everything, but she wants to deem me unfit, make it—” Lucien’s throat tightens, exactly why he wanted to avoid this conversation entirely, “she wants to erase me and the moment the press gets wind—”
All hell would break loose.
“Lucien, I don’t think it works that way,” You assure him, even if your knowledge was slim, “there’s…that's your right, she’s your child.”
“Given my history, the judge could consider it,” Lucien replies lackluster, ashamed, “look—I’m sorry to dump this shit on you, I fucked up your apartment, I can find another place to stay and I’ll pay out the rest of the rent like I promised.”
You look at him with a gentle expression, tilting your head until his eyes finally rise, “I asked,” You remind him, “and I hated that lamp anyways, so you did me a favor,” It was a lie, but given his emotional state it was acceptable, watching as he forced a weak laugh, “I’m not kicking you out either, if the media publishes anything about it, you hunker down here. I can deal with a few paps, you know? We do work in the same industry, after all. I may not understand the full scope but I do understand, Lucien.”
He returns a look with sad, red-rimmed eyes as you reach to clean up your shared dinner, before approaching him with a careful few steps, a hand gliding over his bicep and your fingers rubbing at the small dip in the back of neck, your first real initiation of genuine touch. He was a touchy person himself and seemed at ease by the feeling, your lips coming to press a soft kiss against his cheek. Kind, friendly, you pat at his back.
Something changes between that touch and the look he gives you as he turns, eyes flicking toward your lips out of desire, silently he pushes logic aside and leans forward, pulling your chin into his hand like he has before, a familiar touch followed by a foreign one, plush lips against your own that has you swimming in a mix of emotions, eyes falling shut briefly before you realize what was happening, lips parting slightly as the tip of his tongue touches your own before you’re ripping away, eyes wide.
“Oh my god,” You utter out, wishing the words had stayed inside of your head, “I, uh–I’m—”
You stutter relentlessly before you’re scrambling toward your room, door falling shut with a soft click as you sink into your sheets, heart racing uncontrollably and your hands covering your face, unable to face what you had just escaped from as a knock comes a few minutes later on your bedroom door.
You couldn’t face him. You couldn’t.
Eventually, he leaves. Slow footsteps that eventually lead toward another door that closes too, unsure of where he was wandering off to, but you couldn’t think about that, not with the conflicting, battling emotions in your head and chest, a startling yearning coming from just a simple touch.
He was everything you despised—somehow finding level ground, adoring him, caring about him, it was never supposed to go this far. He started as an inconvenience, a disruption to your life…and now, you weren’t sure you could imagine it without him there, in some form.
It takes a couple hours, already deep into your slumber, but the dip of weight in your bed startles you for a moment before the movements stop, the strong press of a back against yours, and an unspoken security that pulls you both under quickly.
He’d gone out drinking again, but at this point, you couldn’t blame him.
–
He awakes to a sweet smell, distinct and fresh. And air, cool air. It can’t be dawn, the sun is too far in the sky to be early morning. Lucien rises with a heavy grogginess, rubbing at his eyes as he finds his footing and walks toward the living room of your apartment, finding your back turned to him as you fiddled with the buttons on your AC as you bid someone goodbye, a man carrying a toolbox descending toward the hallway.
He gears up for an apology, the words balancing on the tip of his tongue.
Suddenly, you’re in front of him, two filled mugs in hand, coffee just the way he liked.
��And Lucien doesn’t know when or why the feeling overtakes him, but he kisses you again. It isn’t a simple peck. It was full, all-consuming, feet lifting off the ground type of kiss.
No, literally—you rise to your tiptoes as the cups jostle in your grip as two large, warm hands curl around your back and his lips melt against your own, earning a starling gasp that slips through slightly parted lips, followed by his name after a moment too long.
“Coffee, coffee,” You mumbled quickly, “hot—burning, my toes,” Lucien pulled away quickly at the words, watching as the tan liquid pooled at your feet before he rushed to clean up the mess.
You watch with an amused expression before you finally hand the cup of coffee over, “Good morning to you too, I guess,” You smirk, biting down on your cheek to stifle the laugh that was fighting it’s way out, “please don’t tell me you’re still drunk.”
“I need to apologize,” Lucien tells you, “...again—I’m—I’m sorry for kissing you—again, like that, assuming that was something you wanted. I got pulled into the moment—”
You’ve had all night and morning to think it over, mulling over the emotions and feelings, still not quite sure, but you couldn’t help the swirling feeling of nervousness that had grown more frequent in Lucien’s presence, his looks, his flirtatious nature and touches. You were under his spell completely.
And if you didn’t want to kiss him, you would have stopped him.
Besides, you didn’t want to be the bearer of more bad news after his terrible night, having been let go from your job position that morning, no notice—you were still reeling, but didn’t want to burden Lucien with the news.
You needed something else to occupy your mind.
“Drink,” You instruct, taking a seat on the couch as you sip at your coffee in silence, watching as Lucien mirrored your actions and sat at the opposite end, legs out-stretched and his chest on display, tanned skin with neatly trimmed chest hair, soft tummy leading into the charcoaled, stretchy lounge pants leaving little to imagination as he fidgeted in his seat.
“Where’d you go last night?”
Lucien’s face immediately flushes with guilt, “The—a bar. I didn’t drink. I swear, I—”
He makes a small noise of frustration and closes his eyes, “I did something stupid, I needed a distraction, alright? I shouldn’t have kissed you, that’s not what you wanted, I know that.”
With a silent reservation, you press the coffee cup into the table in front of you before slowly make your way toward him on your knees before you pluck the half-empty mug from his grip and return it to a similar spot, feeling a surge of bravery as you climb onto his lap—there’s some underlying stupidity there, you think. But, fuck it.
“You don’t know what I want,” You assure him, fingers dragging along the top of his head before you’re tugging at the stands to tilt his head back, kissing him soundly, sweet dark roast on your shared breaths as you lick into his mouth, the opposite hand pressed flat against his bare chest. It takes a while, but eventually his brain catches up, along with his movements, and his hands curl around your bare thighs, fingertips grazing the silk shorts you wore to bed the night prior, like butter against your soft skin as his fingers climb and dig, pressing into your skin as you continue to discover every inch of him he had to offer—mouth, tongue, neck, chest.
It was a dormant hunger that had awoken after careful thought and pure primal need, tired of waiting things out for perfection when you had something tangible in front of you.
He’s mumbling your name softly as you lean into him, the bottom of your lip dragging against the tip of his nose as he pulls you away, strong hands encompassing your face as he looks at you, searching your glazed over eyes, “What are you doing?” He asks, apparent concern.
“Distracting you,” You tell him, immediately diving back in to kiss him, nipping at his chin playfully, a shaking sigh falling from his lips, “are you distracted?”
He chuckles weakly, “What happened to me being a cocky, egotistical, little dicked man?”
“I can go back to hating you if you want,” You respond, nipping at his ear before you pull back to look at him, so close you can feel his breath against your lips, “If you’re into that sorta thing.”
He could see in your eyes that you needed this too, a way to shut your brain off for a while, months of failed dates you’ve told him all about, in detail, he can’t help but chuckle at your eagerness, stifling a groan as you core grinds against him, cock stiffening with the movement.
“Maybe,” He’s undecided, “we’ll see how this goes.”
You smile wide, feeling a surge of pride as he returns the kiss more fully, a hand twisting around the back of your neck as he kisses you fully, all wet and uncoordinated but it makes your heart flutter in excitement.
“Let me taste you,” He begs, clawing at your top in an attempt to get his hands on your skin, pushing up the fabric as you follow his movements, top off, stripping your shorts down along with your underwear, an eager Lucien gripping at your hips to maneuver you down into the cushion as he hastily shoves the table away with his feet to make room for him on the floor, no reprieve as he hooks your legs over his shoulder and splits his tongue through your folds, licking up the center.
A man of his word, he tastes. Noisily he licks and prods, tongue dipping inside of along with wandering fingers, sucking gently at your clit until you’re yanking at his hair, hand curling over the back of his scalp, fingernails digging into the top of his back, moans spilling from your lips like a flowing river, the rapids rushing through, walls clenching around nothing but cool air as Lucien parts from you, admires.
He’s got two hands on your thighs to keep you open, “Wider,” He coaxes, your breath quickening as he squeezes at your thighs, “right there, don’t move.”
He shoves his pants down his hips, the heel of his palm rubbing down his shaft as he wraps his fingers around his cock, jerking himself off at the sight of you, glistening and eager, your fingers digging into the cushion fabric—you’ve seen him before, naked, in starkly different context.
But, he had nothing to be ashamed of, your eyes counting the faint splattering of freckles on his chest as his hand glides over his cock, tugs, thumb sliding over the tip to spread the precum down his shaft and you don’t hear him calling your name until his hand touches your skin, gliding over your knee as he taps, coming to with a weak, “Huh?”
Lucien laughs under his breath before he’s beckoning you closer, pushing up with your palms as he cups his hand under your chin and asks—no, demands, “Spit,” He tells you, following his order without missing a beat, the saliva dripping into his hands as you push it past your lips and he moves closer, knees settled on the plush rug in your living room, guiding you until your ass was nearly hanging off the couch and using your saliva to aid the tug of his cock.
“No condom,” You quickly interject, slightly out of breath. His mouth opens like he wants to respond but you quickly shush him, “we can avoid the spiel, I’m on the pill.”
Lucien shrugs with a cocked smile, “Just checking. You alright?”
You nod eagerly, dying for a reason to shut your mind off.
It was the perfect angle, his hips just level enough with your hips that he slid in with ease, adding his own string of spit into the mix as rubbed it down your cunt and pushed his cock inside—deeper, deeper, the head of his cock sliding against your folds teasingly as he rocks his hips until he’s fully flush inside of you.
Your anxious hands are taken hold by him, curling around his wrists instinctively before they’re being shoved over your head and against the back of the couch, his towering frame leaning over you as his hips piston you at a bruising pace, deep enough that it aches. It’s been long, so long and you feel pathetic for already wanting it so bad, core pulsating with an insatiable need.
His breath is hot, wet against your skin as his teeth graze against your breast, sucking the skin between his teeth as you gasp, “Louder,” Lucien coaxes, “let ‘em hear you. Think they deserve it after all they’ve put us through.”
You laugh at that, full-body and airy, eyes falling shut as Lucien plants a foot against the floor, changing up the angle to an intense degree, his cock slipping out briefly as he adjusts, catching glimpse of the string of shiny slick that connects you both before the thick head of his cock pushes back in, a soft squelch of admittance, a tell-tale sign of your obvious enjoyment.
If he knew this would shut you up, he would’ve tried seducing you months ago—though, he had a feeling the attempts would be futile, he was floating on his own cloud of disbelief that after all his wrong-doings, his missteps, it hadn’t pushed you away.
“Show me—huh, show me what you like,” Lucien pleads through baited breath, hair sticking to his forehead from the sheen of sweat, his own hands leaving yours with the silent promise that you wouldn’t move them, finding purchase underneath your thighs and pushing them up toward your chest, your fingers gripping around the back of the couch in desperation, “touch—touch yourself, show me.”
The drag of your hand is slow, but eventually your fingers hover over your cunt, pressing against your sensitive clit as you circle, slow and intentional movement that rips a loud moan from your chest matched with his pointed thrusts, feeling his stamina weaning as he watches, hips stuttering.
“You’re a fucking dream,” Lucien admires, “makin’ a damn mess, too. You hear that?”
He slows down on purpose, partially for his own benefit but he’s proving his point, that sticky squelch of arousal, his faint grunts mixed with your quickly rising moans.
“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” He asks curiously, eyes locked on your pussy, watching his cock split you open, gripping him and pulling him back in eagerly with every thrust, “Look at me—answer me, baby.”
There’s something so distinct in the way he says it, laced with an addictive drug.
Your eyes peel open, bleary behind near tears and you shake your head.
“Do you wish it did?” You counter, earning a subtle head shake from Lucien as he pulls out.
A moan of disappointment leaves your mouth before he’s quickly jostling your around, chest against the couch, his hand spreading wide over your back as he bends you over, fisting his cock as he feeds it back into your greedy cunt, the swollen head making you gasp as it pushes through your over-sensitive folds.
He uses the leverage as his hand climbs, gripping at your shoulder to pull you up, bracketing your body into the couch with a knee at your side, pressing you tight into his chest, his hand sliding around to your chin and turning your face to his, lips parting as he fucks you with a newfound ferocity, eyes rolling back so deep you aren’t expecting the fingers that find your clit, circling the senstive nerves until you’re tipping over the edge, soft encouraging words pulling you through your orgasm like a gentle wave, his fingers slowing down as you resurface.
He comes soon after, his hips stuttering out of pace again as you lean forward, feeling him pull out at the last possible moment before he’s painting thick strips of come against your lower back, the fingers of his left hand digging into your skin as he grabs you tight, the tip of his cock sliding against your ass.
You collapse with a content laugh, oblivious to Lucien searching frantically for something to clean you up before settling on one of the kitchen towels, your body slumped lazily against the couch and sighing when you feel his warm touch, the words slipping out on their own accord, “I got fired.”
“What?”
He tosses the dirty towel aside and passes over your clothes, pulling his own lounge pants back up his hips, sans underwear—and it makes you curious how often he does that normally, comfortable as he takes a seat, legs spread wide as he settles into the cushion.
“They called this morning,” You explain easily, pulling your top over your head and maneuvering your panties and shorts back on, “wouldn’t give me a reason, but it doesn’t matter.”
Lucien’s brow furrows in thought, rubbing his thumb against his fingertips out of habit.
“Is this one of those situations where you’re gonna ask if I’ll sign an NDA?” You half-joke.
He shakes his head almost immediately. He doesn’t seem to find it amusing, almost slightly concerned—or wounded?
“Come work for me,” He insists, “I’ve been needing an assistant.”
“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” You ask him, staring at his flush chest and mused hair, evidence of rigorous sex all over his face, it was almost enough to have you confessing some unspoken feelings, but you weren’t that easily broken down.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Are you just trying to find a reason to stick around longer?” You tease him, a smile peeking out behind your tired expression, “Because it won’t work.”
“No—I’m serious about getting my shit together,” Lucien promises, “I might need a little help…but I want to.”
“Can I think about it?”
Lucien nods, hands dropping to his lap as he fiddles with a ring on his finger, eventually trailing toward the chains around his neck before his head is popping up, a quizzical look on his face.
“Wait—was that because you were having a bad morning?”
The sex, he means.
A smile breaks out on your face, “Nothing an orgasm won’t fix.”
He can sense it isn’t the full truth, but he doesn’t pry.
“Damn straight,” He chuckles, both of you falling into a comfortable silence.
–
Your answer doesn’t come for a solid week, thinking over the pros and cons. It was complicated, indeed bound to be messy if you allowed it, but Lucien was promising to double your pay, no undermining, no hovering—it seemed too good to be true.
But, you were taking the risk.
Lucien was still awaiting the imminent release of the court documents, the storm of press, but when you were secured in the safety of your apartment, hidden under the blankets as Lucien clung to you, head buried in your chest and his cock still buried inside of you, a slow and lazy day was what he needed, but he also craved you—and he was addicting, impossible to deny.
“We can’t keep doing this when I start working for you,” You remind him.
“Who says we can’t?” Lucien asks curiously, adjusting his hips as he slides deep inside of your cunt, peering up at you with soft eyes, “We keep it casual, if we decide we wanna stop. We stop. It won’t affect your job. I’m not that much of a dick, baby.”
“Well, for starters, you can’t call me baby at work.”
Lucien nods dutifully, listening to you divulge into a long lists of hardset rules, eventually pulling your focus back to him, his hips moving at a slow but gradual pace until you can’t focus any longer, giggling loudly as he buries his face into your neck, a sufficient end to the conversation.
The rest could be figured out later.
-
dividers: @/saradika-graphics
#lucien flores#lucien de leon#lucien flores x reader#lucien flores x you#lucien de leon x reader#lucien de leon x you#lucien flores smut#the uninvited#the uninvited fic#lucien de leon smut#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal#my writing
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━ 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬, 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 !
— pairing; floyd leech x ramshackle! reader.
— summary; you serenade floyd (terribly), but he loves it, and the ensuing chaos.
— notes; please donate to my kofi if you like my work. and know that i am mentally smooching everyone who reblogs my stuff.
❋ It’s a quiet night at Night Raven College, and the students are all getting ready for bed.
❋ Well, everyone except for you.
❋ And Grim.
❋ And Ace.
❋ And Deuce.
❋ The four of you are currently clustered outside the Octavinelle dorm, and you’re holding onto a bouquet of roses (stolen from the Heartslabyul gardens) with a white-knuckled grip, trying to psych yourself up into confessing to Floyd and just getting it over with.
❋ It’s not working.
❋ You’re this close to chickening out and leaving, but Grim isn’t about to leave after all his “hard work”.
❋ In between a series of deafening yowls, Grim loudly professes your love for Floyd, and Ace and Deuce take that as their cue to play. Ace drums on some borrowed pots and pans with a ladle and a spatula, and Deuce awkwardly attempts to strum a guitar he borrowed from Cater.
❋ A light is flicked on in one of the dorm rooms, and who should open the window but none other than Floyd Leech. He’s uncaring of the late hour, if the wild, sharp grin on his face is anything to go by.
❋ “Shrimpy! Are you confessing your undying love? Do it louder! I want everyone to hear!”
❋ His encouragement only makes the “band” double down on their serenade, much to the horror of anyone sane in the dorm.
❋ Such as Jade.
❋ Who currently shares a room with Floyd.
❋ Groaning at the rude awakening, Jade buries his head into his pillow, muttering about the late hour and how he needs his rest (not to mention a better roommate). He’s already plotting to make excessively loud noises in their room tomorrow at the crack of dawn as payback.
❋ As the sound of horrendous singing continues and the noise reaches new, ridiculous levels, a frazzled-looking Azul finally bursts out of his dorm room in his pyjamas, complete with a black, feathery robe and plush octopus slippers. The pitter-patter of his feet is quick, and his nostrils flare in exasperation as he takes in the chaos before him.
❋ “WHAT is going on here?! Do you have any idea what time it is?!” His glasses are slightly askew, and he’s clearly on the verge of losing it. “CEASE THIS RUCKUS AT ONCE, OR I WILL BAN YOU ALL FROM THE MOSTRO LOUNGE FOR LIFE!”
❋ All of you are quick to scramble away before Azul can make good on his threat.
❋ Meanwhile, Floyd sneaks out of his dorm to meet you, and he catches up before you can go too far. For a moment, his grin softens as he steps closer, eyes glinting when you present him with the stolen roses.
❋ “This was your idea, huh?” He teases, his voice uncharacteristically sweet, and a genuine fondness in his gaze. “Heehee! You look so cute when you're embarrassed, Shrimpy! Next time I’ll serenade you ~”
❋ Floyd’s true to his word; he shows up at Ramshackle in the dead of night the very next day, strumming wildly on a lute he has absolutely no idea how to play.
❋ Which is probably just as well, considering that Azul and Jade have banned you from entering Octavinelle after 10 p.m.
#floyd leech x reader#floyd leech fluff#floyd leech headcanons#floyd leech imagines#floyd leech x you#floyd leech reader insert#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland reader insert#twst imagines#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland headcanons#twisted wonderland imagines
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Please, Daddy
Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen
Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Nanami Kento
Character Count: ~8,500K
Rating: Explicit, 18+
AO3
It was a lazy spring afternoon, one that mimicked the dead of summer with its humidity and heat. All the windows were open, but that did nothing to abate the torturous conditions inside the classroom. The curtains blowing offered a promise of some respite, but the wind was just as hot and provided no relief from the blazing temperatures.
Nobara held a small fan to her face while Megumi patted his forehead with a handkerchief, neither of which helped their fatigue.
“This sucks!” Yuji groaned, kicking his feet onto the desk and leaning his chair back.
“You’re going to fall over,” Megumi said, to which Yuji rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, if I was an idiot, maybe,” he retorted. Nobara stuck out her foot and tapped the leg of the chair, giving it that last push it needed to send Yuji toppling backwards onto the floor.
“Oops,” was all Nobara had to say as she watched her friend groan and wriggle around on the floor in pain.
“Kugisaki, you asshole!” he shouted. “As if this day couldn’t get any worse.”
Nobara sighed and got out of her seat, walking over to Yuji and kneeling. She placed a finger on her chin in thought before brightening, her grin catching Yuji off guard. “I know what’ll make you feel better. Let’s gossip about our teachers.”
The three of them huddled in a circle on the floor with Nobara going first.
“Kusakabe,” she offered, with the boys looking up to the ceiling in thought.
“I think he has boner problems,” Yuji said, making Nobara and Megumi wince in disgust. But the more they thought about it, the more it made sense.
“Do you think he takes pills for it?” Megumi asked, but Nobara shook her head.
“I think he’s too ashamed. And then he cries whenever he does it because he can’t get it up, and the woman has to comfort him,” she said, although she quickly regretted it as they all cringed at the image.
“Oh, man, let’s move on,” Megumi said, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t think I’ll be able to look at him the same anymore.”
“Let’s do Gojo,” Nobara replied excitedly, to which Megumi swiftly shook his head.
“That’s our main teacher! We have to look at him every day—we can’t do him,” Megumi objected, although it was only half the truth. He already saw Satoru as a father figure, as much as he hated admitting that to himself. He didn’t want to discuss his sex life.
“I think Gojo does hard drugs,” Yuji said, ignoring Megumi’s outburst. “Like, cocaine and stuff. It gets him really wired to do it.”
“Oh, gross,” Megumi whined as he buried his face in his hands.
“What’s gross?”
Speak of the devil. The trio’s heads snapped up as the very man they were gossiping about strode into the classroom, a stack of papers and folders in one hand and a mug that read ‘#1 Teacher’ in the other. He set down his things and placed his hands on his hips as he stared at his students, who were gawking at him as if a curse was eating his face off.
“Hello? Earth to idiots?” he said, snapping in the air to get their attention.
Nobara, ever the quick-witted girl, looked between Megumi and Yuji’s shocked faces and smirked to herself. She had thought of an excuse the second she heard her teacher’s voice, but she liked the idea of messing with all of them better. She cleared her throat and said, “We were gossiping about our teachers.”
“Kugisaki!” Megumi and Yuji’s voices overlapped as they exclaimed in horror, turning their irritation onto her.
However, Satoru wasn’t surprised in the slightest. In fact, he rushed over to the trio and grabbed a chair, turning it backward to sit on it and place his arms on the back of the chair, leaning forward in intrigue. “Oh? One of my favorite conversation topics. Go ahead, shoot. What’d you guys say about me?”
Megumi and Yuji’s faces then morphed into genuine interest as to what Nobara had planned. How was she going to get out of the hole she dug herself?
By answering honestly, of course.
“We said you do hard drugs to do it,” she said matter-of-factly. “Like coke. That really gets you going.”
Satoru stared for a moment, shell-shocked, before dissolving into laughter. He slapped his thigh and hung his head over the chair, the trio laughing along nervously at his strange reaction. Once he finally got ahold of himself, Satoru looked back up and inhaled sharply. “Good guess. What about Nanami?”
“Confirm nor deny. Smart,” Nobara remarked, high-giving her teacher. The boys were less than enthused. However, once she processed Nanami’s name, she barked out a laugh. “Nanami Kento? That guy’s a virgin, one hundred percent.”
“Kugisaki, don’t be mean,” Megumi chastised, but he was the sole objection on that one. Yuji and Nobara fell into bouts of laughter while nodding.
“You’re so right,” Yuji said. “How old is he, forty? No way some straight like him gets anything. Can you imagine him flirting?”
“He’s twenty-seven, and no,” Megumi said with a sigh. He knew he was giving in, but it was true: Nanami didn’t seem to have one romantic bone in his body. He couldn’t even picture him with a woman on his arm—the sight would probably send the three of them into anaphylactic shock.
He watched Nobara and Yuji laughing together before he turned his attention to Satoru, who was staring down at them with an unreadable expression. “You’re awfully quiet, Gojo-sensei. Wouldn’t you know better than all of us about him?”
Satoru choked on his spit at that, coughing into his fist as a prickly blush climbed up his neck and blotched his cheeks. “W-what? Why would you think that? I don’t know Nanami at all like that.”
“You’re both teachers,” Yuji pointed out with a shrug. “Wouldn’t you guys talk in the teacher’s lounge or something?”
Oh, Satoru thought with a sigh of relief. They meant it like that. He visibly relaxed, his shoulders dropping as he played with the bottom of his blindfold. “He’s never mentioned a girlfriend. Or any romantic interest, for that matter. No matter how much I’ve tried seducing him!”
Satoru whined to punctuate the fact that it was a joke to his students, who laughed and pulled disgusted faces at the thought of their beloved teachers kissing. However, Satoru wasn’t telling a joke. He had genuinely tried seducing Nanami on multiple occasions, having had a crush on him since Nanami called him up about becoming a jujutsu sorcerer again and he got to see just how much the blond had grown since they were in school together. The scrawny teen with a terrible haircut he had once known had grown into a muscled, attractive, and stoic man who made people think sinful thoughts just by looking at him.
Satoru could barely believe his eyes, although his pounding heart gave away just what he suspected he was feeling: arousal. He hadn’t felt that sensation in a long time, despite what his students—or anybody, really—thought. Nanami had brought it out of him, and the more he rejected Satoru and treated him terribly, the more Satoru wanted him. Frankly, it turned him on, just how respectable and stable Nanami was. A salaryman who took care of himself, who read and exercised and enjoyed the small things in life. Additionally, the sincere concern he had for his students—for any child—made Satoru want to raise a family with him, a thought he’d never had with anybody, ever.
Nanami was perfect partner material on top of being incredibly sexy. He was perfect. Except for the fact that he hated Satoru’s guts.
“Okay, okay, so Nanami,” Nobara said, pursing her lips together pensively. “I think…he definitely has a hidden kink even though he’s a virgin.”
“I’m going to throw something out there,” Yuji said conspiratorially. “I think he has a daddy kink.”
Satoru’s previous melancholic expression morphed into intense curiosity. He needed all the help he could get, as evidenced by the fact that he was secretly soliciting his students’ help with hopefully romancing Nanami successfully. “You think so? Like, calling people daddy? Or being called that?”
“Being called,” Yuji replied. “No way that guy gives into anybody. He’s as tightly wound as a stretched rubber band. He hates his job, hates being a jujutsu sorcerer, and is a virgin on top of all of that. He’s going to snap at any time.”
The more Yuji spoke, the more Satoru could understand why Nanami was the way that he was. He’d dealt with more trauma than the general population combined, had to submit to his dick boss every day, then deal with more shit in the way of curses. Plus, blue balls would drive any man crazy.
If he needed to snap, so be it—so long as it was with Satoru in the room. And perhaps being called ‘daddy’ would be the driving factor. At that point, Satoru had tried everything. What was one more shot in the dark?
“He’s definitely DILF material,” Nobara said, biting her bottom lip.
Megumi shoved her shoulder so hard that she fell onto the floor in a laughing mess. “You can’t say that about a teacher! You guys are hopeless.”
“DILF?” Satoru asked, tilting his head. “Is this another young person slang word I’m not privy to? You guys make me feel older every day.”
“No way you haven’t heard of DILF,” Yuji said, dumbfounded. “I mean, MILF? It’s just the dad version. Dad I’d like to…you know.”
That woke Satoru up to the fact that he was having this type of conversation with his students, his children. He stood up and swiftly shoved the chair back in its place before taking his place at the front of the classroom.
“Okay, that’s enough,” he said, sorting through his materials to ignore the horrid blush flaming his cheeks. “Let’s begin class.”
When the trio left the classroom after their lesson, Satoru thought back to Yuji’s explanation and chuckled. He had found a way to seduce Nanami. It was far-fetched, but he had exhausted everything else. And he was going to use it.
The only way to get Nanami to hang out with him was to show up wherever he was unexpectedly and follow him around until he relented. Nanami wasn’t exactly rude. He’d speak to Satoru, albeit sparingly. But Satoru couldn’t shake the fact that they weren’t spending time together—he was just following Nanami while he was doing chores.
Not this time. He was going to force Nanami to spend time with him. Which led him to standing on Nanami’s doorstep with a six-pack of beer in one hand and a movie CD in the other.
When Nanami opened the door, he barely got out a ‘hello?’ before his face dropped upon seeing Satoru.
“Don’t look so excited to see me, old pal,” Satoru said, but he couldn’t hide the sharp pain in his chest on his face. Luckily, he had his black blindfold on, which at least hid half his facial expressions. “Surprise! We haven’t hung out in so long, I decided I’d drop by for a movie night.”
“We’ve never hung out,” Nanami said tiredly. Had he been sleeping? He was in sweatpants and a black T-shirt, a casual look Satoru had never seen him in before. It did nothing to hide the lust building in his stomach just at the sight of Nanami. He thought he was attracted to Nanami in suits, but perhaps a simple pair of sweatpants was all he needed to fold over. It did a great job at highlighting Nanami’s crotch, anyhow.
“Well, let’s start now!” Satoru said, pushing past Nanami into his apartment since he knew Nanami would never invite him in. He set the beer on the coffee table in front of the couch before settling on the floor to pop the CD into the player. “I rented us Inception. I heard it’s really good.”
“It is,” Nanami said, shutting the door behind him. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he stared down at Satoru, not moving from the front door. “I’ve watched it. It’s also almost three hours long.”
“Yay, three hours we get to spend together!” Satoru said with a clap. “Come on, sit down, let’s drink.”
“You don’t drink,” Nanami remarked. He glanced up at the ceiling before closing his eyes with a sigh. After running a hand down his face, he relented and walked over, sitting on the floor across the table from Satoru.
“So I don’t,” Satoru said and tried not to show the excitement on his face. Nanami remembered something about him. He knew something about Satoru, something that would only happen if he paid attention to Satoru. “But it’s no matter! I’ll just watch you drink. You can put the rest in your fridge. Call it a housewarming present.”
Nanami took a beer out of the plastic and stared at it, pushing his hair out of his eyes. It was down and slightly wet at the ends from a shower, and Satoru had to look at the floor to prevent himself from blushing anymore at the sight of Nanami with his hair down. He looked so vulnerable, so in his element.
As Nanami regarded the beer can, Satoru took the opportunity to glance around the apartment. He’d never been inside Nanami’s apartment, and it was exactly as he thought it’d be. Everything was tidy and had its place. The apartment itself was humbly small, with what seemed like only one bedroom hidden beyond a slightly ajar door down a hallway. He had a modestly-sized television set on a TV stand full of books and magazines. His kitchen was spotless, and his small dining table had a vase with a blooming bouquet. It was strange and inexplicable how much the normalcy turned Satoru on. After the life he’d lived, all the trauma he’d endured, all he wanted was to settle down someday.
“Thanks,” Nanami said, the sound of the beer fizzling drawing Satoru back into reality. As he watched Nanami take a sip from the can, he realized that he wanted to settle down with Nanami.
“You’re very welcome,” he said. “That’s your favorite brand, right?”
Nanami swallowed and set the can down on the table. His brows raised high on his forehead as he pursed his lips. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah. Thank you, Gojo-san. I’m not sure how you remembered that.”
I remember everything about you, Satoru almost said but caught himself last minute. “I already told you to drop it with the san. Just call me Satoru.”
“Mm,” Nanami hummed indifferently. His eyes drifted to the TV screen before grabbing the remote. “Are you going to make these movie nights a habit?”
Satoru’s heart dropped at that. Did Nanami truly hate him? Had he been so caught up in seducing him that he had been imagining things, that he had ignored all of Nanami’s rebuffs?
He bit his bottom lip and shrugged defeatedly. “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t like them.”
He watched as the lump in Nanami’s throat bobbed when he swallowed thickly. “I don’t mind them.” He scoffed. “It’s not like I have anything better to do.”
Okay, they were getting somewhere. Satoru didn’t especially like Nanami having to resort to hanging out with him, but they were at least hanging out. He could work with this.
He leaned forward on his hand over the table, smirking at Nanami as the blond desperately tried to avoid eye contact. “Really? You don’t have any dates or anything? A good-looking guy like you—you should be drowning in women, Nanamin.”
The corner of Nanami’s lip curled at the nickname, but he had learned better than to correct Satoru. “No, I’m not,” he replied, although he didn’t seem too broken up about it. “I’m not a playboy like you.”
Satoru took genuine offense to that, slapping a hand to his chest. “Playboy? Playboy! Nanamin, you’ve burned me!”
If only Nanami knew the lengths Satoru had gone to seduce him, how many people he’d rebuffed at the slightest chance of getting in his pants. But he couldn’t say that. Not yet.
“You know, the students were gossiping about you,” Satoru said, reciting the script he’d created prior to knocking on Nanami’s door.
That took Nanami’s attention away from the movie long enough to glance at Satoru. “Oh? What did they say?” He narrowed his eyes. “And how do you know if you weren’t taking part in it?”
Nanami always knew exactly what to say to catch Satoru off guard. He did not expect that in his script. Nanami spoke so little, it seemed impossible for him to go off-script. Lo and behold.
“I just walked in on them speaking about you and demanded them to tell me what they said so I could punish them, I swear!” Satoru cried, but all Nanami did was look back at the movie. “Okay, but I’ll tell you what they said, and you can decide on their punishment after I tell you. They said that…well, that you’re a virgin. Ridiculous, right?”
Nanami’s expression went blank, and his arm shot out for the remote. He paused the movie and turned to Satoru, who stared back at him with an expectant smile. He took another swig of his beer and sighed. “They’ll have to spend thirty extra minutes every day after class cleaning the school for that.”
Satoru’s smile dropped. “But…but, they’re wrong, right?”
Nanami shot Satoru a look before it melted into something different. Something Satoru couldn’t parse. Was it guilt?
“Yes, they’re wrong,” Nanami said then chuckled humorlessly. “Although, I can understand why they think that. I don’t exactly present myself as somebody capable of…that.”
Satoru didn’t like seeing Nanami sad, but seeing him this dejected hurt even worse. This was the exact opposite of what he wanted to happen. He shuffled forward so that he was next to Nanami, giving him a healthy amount of space before placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, what’d I say? An attractive guy like you—it makes sense if you get tons of action. But, I mean, I knew I’d find you at home on a Friday night instead of out anywhere.”
Nanami chuckled again, this time more good-naturedly. He ran a hand through his hair, but his hair just flopped back onto his forehead. “You know me too well, Gojo—ah, S-Satoru. That sounds so strange.”
Hearing his first name on Nanami’s tongue was euphoric. He wanted to hear it more. Hearing it made him feel as inebriated as if he had drank the entire pack of beer. It took away all of his inhibitions—the few that he had—and lubricated his lips so that anything and everything he wanted to say spilled out.
“They also said other things,” he continued, giving Nanami’s shoulder a light squeeze. “They called you a DILF.”
“A DILF? What’s that?” Nanami cringed. “Or do I even want to know?”
Satoru tapped his chin to feign thinking. “Hm, I think you do. To, you know, decide the right punishment.” He leaned forward so that he was mere centimeters away from Nanami’s ear before whispering, “Daddy I’d like to fuck.”
He leaned back quickly as if Nanami would strike him, putting his hands up as he laughed. “Crazy, right?”
However, Nanami was silent. He was a statue, his eyes solidly on the floor in front of him. He was so still that Satoru looked to the remote to see if it was a curse that had somehow paused the sorcerer.
“I mean, you’re not even that much older than them, and they’re calling you daddy,” Satoru continued amidst the awkward and unnerving silence. “Daddy. Funny, isn’t it?”
Nanami showed no emotion. Instead, he shot to his feet and turned off the TV. “I think you should go home.”
No. NO. Satoru couldn’t believe what he was seeing. A harmless joke turned into him getting kicked out of Nanami’s apartment. He never thought Nanami would actually kick him out, especially in such a callous way. He floundered for any way to fix the situation, coming up short. Nanami didn’t stick around to wait for Satoru to leave, instead walking away to his bedroom.
There was only one thing Satoru could think of that could stop Nanami in his tracks. It had been the reason why he so callously left, but desperation grew like a mold in Satoru’s chest, leaving him unable to breathe or move until he got what he wanted from Nanami: attention. Validation. Anything that wasn’t him walking to his bedroom, alone.
“Daddy, wait!”
Nanami came to a halt halfway through a step, stuttering forward like an unoiled machine. His back was wide and on full display in that T-shirt, and even underneath it, Satoru could see how tightly he was holding his shoulders, his muscles prominent. He had succeeded in getting Nanami to stop: but why? And now what?
However, that question was quickly answered when Nanami turned slightly, and those sweatpants Satoru had been so in love with gave away exactly what had Nanami rushing away so rapidly. His hand was covering most of it, but the grayness put on full display the prominent shadow of Nanami’s erection. Satoru found himself gawking at it for much too long, and when Nanami cleared his throat, his eyes flickered up to the blond’s face emblazoned with a blush whose color rivaled a tomato.
Oh. So it was true. Nanami did have a daddy kink.
The realization, when it finally hit, felt like a semi-truck had run over him. He had already been recovering from Nanami clarifying that he wasn’t a virgin (who had he had sex with? Who?), but the reveal that a kink that was largely said as a joke was true…it was enough to leave Satoru breathless.
“I really think you should leave,” Nanami mumbled, turning his back to Satoru again as he began to walk toward his room. “I’ve embarrassed myself enough.”
Nanami embarrassing himself was unthinkable. The display had been the opposite of embarrassing: it was incredibly arousing. Then again, everything about Nanami was arousing to Satoru. It was time for Satoru to embarrass himself.
He stood up, nearly passing out from the lack of oxygen in his brain. He hadn’t been breathing properly, and all of the blood in his body had been diverted to his groin. None of his bodily functions were working properly, except for his dick. And all of his best decisions were made when controlled by his dick.
“You haven’t embarrassed yourself, Nanamin,” he said, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I…I’ve been looking for a way to get you like this for so long. To…be excited. So, it’s okay, daddy.”
He leveled his gaze at Nanami before sliding off his blindfold so that he could see just how serious he was about the situation. His eyelids were heavy with lust as he slowly approached Nanami, his footsteps the only sound in the apartment for several moments. He stopped only a meter away from the sorcerer, sweeping a hand through his hair. “You’ve done the opposite of embarrassing yourself.”
Nanami’s eyes dropped from Satoru’s face down to the sliver of skin revealed as he lifted his arm to his hair. He exhaled shakily before glancing off to the side as any sort of eye contact with Satoru proved too difficult. “You’ve been looking for a way to get me aroused?” Nanami shook his head and scoffed. “I thought you were joking this whole time.”
“What?” Satoru couldn’t believe his ears. He was so shocked that he dropped the sex kitten act, outraged at Nanami’s thick-headedness. “Nanami, how many times did I explicitly ask you on a date? Told you I wanted to spend time with you, kiss you even? What is wrong with you?”
Nanami’s eyes were owlish at Satoru’s exclamations, his mouth agape but with nothing coming out of it. He was rendered silent, watching as Satoru caught his breath from his impromptu bout of shouting. Finally, he swallowed and shook his head. “I thought you were kidding all these years…that you didn’t actually like me…that’s why I never reciprocated. Because if I did, you’d be disgusted that I took you seriously.”
“Like you? Nanami, I’m in love with you.”
The admission caught both Satoru and Nanami off guard. Satoru clapped a hand over his mouth, and Nanami dropped the hand covering his erection. He covered his mouth so that both men were mirroring each other in their surprise. The only thing that got either man to move was when Nanami saw Satoru’s eyes drop to his crotch, which was still tented in his sweatpants and fully visible.
“In love, you say?” Nanami said, his voice dropping several octaves. “What does Satoru in love look like?”
Nanami may as well have been purring in Satoru’s ear with how gravelly his voice had grown. Satoru’s eyes grew dazed with desire, unable to focus on anything except the blond man right in front of him. This was happening. Nanami had reciprocated his feelings, feelings he’d supposedly had for years. That was the downside to being a responsible, stable man: Nanami would never put a relationship on the line because he had romantic feelings, unlike Satoru. If he had, they would’ve been together much earlier. So, they simply had to make up for lost time.
“It looks like this.”
Satoru was on Nanami in a flash, Nanami barely able to blink before he felt a pair of soft, warm lips on his. His hands raised in the air in surprise, but when he sensed Satoru’s arms draping over his shoulders, his fingertips slightly scraping his back, he brought his hands down and ghosted them over Satoru’s hips.
“You can touch me, Nanamin,” Satoru mumbled against his lips before diving back into their ever-deepening kiss.
Nanami found himself clutching Satoru’s hips out of surprise when he felt Satoru’s tongue licking his bottom lip for unspoken permission to enter. Once he gained his bearings, he granted permission by invading Satoru’s mouth first, earning a delicious gasp and moan from him. He found his confidence and massaged his thumbs into Satoru’s hips bones, bringing him closer until their chests were pressed against each other.
“I can feel you,” Satoru said, grinding his crotch against Nanami’s and licking his lips at the deep groan that vibrated in the blond’s throat. He could clearly feel the outline of Nanami’s erection against his thigh, and it only made him that much more dizzyingly aroused. There was nothing that could get him off his high now, except for an earth-shatteringly good orgasm.
He lowered his hand to Nanami’s erection, brushing his knuckles over it before grasping it gently with his full palm.
“A-ah, Gojo-san…” he sighed, his fingertips sinking into the tenderness of Satoru’s hips. “That feels—”
“Good?” Satoru whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of Nanami’s lips. “I want you to feel good, daddy.”
“Jesus,” Nanami exhaled harshly, his hands raising to grip Satoru’s shoulders. “I never thought that would get me this way. But of course, it’s only with you. You always make me this way.”
Only when Nanami’s words echoed in Satoru’s mind did he understand the implications of what he had said. Always. Had he accidentally turned Nanami on some other time? Did Nanami think about him sexually? Did he dream about him? The mere thought of Nanami jerking off to him was enough to have him dropping to his knees, face-to-face with the giant tent in those sweatpants that doubled as lingerie with how sexual they were.
“Gojo-san, wait,” Nanami said, his voice laced with panic. His hands wavered in the air much as they did when Satoru first kissed him before settling one of them on Satoru’s head, his fingers tangling in his hair. “You…you don’t have to do this.”
Satoru almost laughed at the suggestion that he was doing this for Nanami. No, he had dreamed about having that giant cock in his mouth ever since the first time he had seen Nanami’s transformation. After bidding goodbye to him that day, he went home and masturbated furiously at the faraway dream that he be able to fuck Nanami—or rather, get Nanami to fuck him so beautifully that he’d never be able to be satisfied without him. Who could have predicted that that faraway dream would be right in front of him one day?
“I want to,” Satoru said. He’d never been more truthful than in that moment.
He traced the top of the sweatpants’ waistband, glancing up at Nanami for permission. When all Nanami could do was grip Satoru’s hair tighter and stare at him expectantly, Satoru didn’t waste any more time. He took both hands and carefully pulled down the sweatpants, but they hitched on Nanami’s erection with how pronounced it was. The visual left Satoru salivating in anticipation, and when he finally was able to pull the sweatpants over his erection, his breath hitched in his throat when he saw that Nanami didn’t have any underwear on.
“Do you always go commando?” Satoru asked, causing Nanami to cover his face with the hand that wasn’t buried in Satoru’s hair. “Or were you expecting me?”
“When I sleep, yes,” Nanami replied, his voice muffled by his hand. Satoru thought it endearing that he could see the blush trickling down his neck to his shoulders, even blotching the top of his chest peeking out from his shirt. Everything about Nanami was delicious to look at.
“Easier for me,” Satoru said before turning his attention to the very thing he’d been daydreaming about for years.
He gripped the base of it with a hand, but it was so large that it made it look no smaller. It left Satoru somewhat intimidated—if he could barely fit it in his mouth, how would it go inside him? Regardless, it’d have to work. He wasn’t going to be leaving himself or Nanami with blue balls. He would be draining them, hopefully multiple times.
Tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, he gave the head an experimental lick. Nanami groaned at that simple touch, and Satoru peered up at him as he got used to the salty taste of precome on his tongue. His Adam’s apple was prominent in his throat as his head lolled backward, the sight pushing Satoru forward to do more. He needed Nanami lost in pleasure, getting so drunk on sex with him that he wouldn’t regret a second of it when they were done.
He stuck out his tongue and took Nanami’s cock in one fell swoop, getting about halfway down before his gag reflex kicked in. He squeezed his thumb in his fist to abate it, breathing in deeply before continuing his journey down Nanami’s cock. Just when he felt like his dinner was about to come up, his nose nuzzled into Nanami’s neatly trimmed pubic hair, and he stayed there for a moment, enjoying the fullness in his throat and the tightness of Nanami’s grip on his hair, his scalp burning, before drawing away and coughing to the side. He inhaled sharply as he jerked Nanami off with all the new saliva coating his cock, leading to lasciviously wet sounds echoing alongside Nanami’s sinful groans.
“You’re incredible,” Nanami murmured, his hand trailing to Satoru’s chin and tipping it up.
He wiped away a trail of spit before his thumb rested on Satoru’s bottom lip, swiping alongside it. His eyes twinkled with fascination when Satoru opened it obediently, those eyes of diamonds settling on him with such a heated gaze, it had his cock twitching. Experimentally, he pushed his thumb into Satoru’s mouth, pressing down on his tongue with curiosity. He sucked in a sharp breath when Satoru’s tongue enveloped his thumb and gave it a warm welcome, bringing his lips around it and sucking on it dutifully.
“Did you learn this somewhere?” Nanami asked, although he quickly found that he didn’t want to know the answer.
“No,” Satoru replied, leaving Nanami at ease. “You made me this way, daddy.”
“Oh, you little minx,” Nanami said, but he couldn’t hide the groan or weakness in his knees when Satoru returned to giving his cock the royal treatment.
Satoru polished the cock as if it were his last meal, making sure no part was left unattended. A string of saliva hung from his chin as he bobbed his head back and forth, stroking the parts he couldn’t reach—which with the size of Nanami’s cock, were significant. He groaned with each tug Nanami gave his hair, his voice vibrating around the cock, which then had Nanami groaning and tugging more in response. It was a brutal pleasure loop that had Nanami slightly bucking his hips forward into the warm hole surrounding his cock, much to Satoru’s delight.
Satoru popped off Nanami’s cock, keeping it warm with both of his hands as he stared up at Nanami. “You can fuck my mouth, you know,” he said, opening his mouth to reveal his perfectly pink tongue and inviting throat. “Don’t be scared, daddy.”
Each time Satoru used the pet name, it sent rivulets of electricity down Nanami’s spine. He didn’t know when he first developed this kink—all he knew was that he found himself clicking on a gay porn video with a man whose body looked just like Satoru, and he called out ‘daddy’ over and over to the hunk of a man fucking him into the mattress. Ever since then, he searched high and low for videos of men crying out ‘daddy,’ men who all resembled Satoru in one way or another.
The second he heard Satoru use it for the first time only twenty minutes ago, he thought he was hallucinating. He thought that somehow the beer he drank was poisoned or laced with magic mushrooms, anything that would make more sense than Satoru Gojo calling him daddy. But then he said it again, and again. And again.
And now that Satoru was on his knees, sucking his cock so prettily with those flushed cheeks on pale skin and cherry-red lips stretched around his girth, calling him daddy in that wonderfully low, hoarse voice, it took everything inside Nanami not to pull out his phone and record. This was infinitely better than any video he had watched previously. No, there was no competition. He would never watch another porno again now that he had Satoru in the palm of his hand.
Or rather, on his cock.
“You asked for it,” he said, a deep growl in his throat as he fortified his grip on Satoru’s hair and slowly drove his hips further into his mouth. “S-shit…”
Satoru moaned around Nanami’s cock again at the sound of Nanami cursing, something he hardly did. But he was making him feel so good that he couldn’t help but let a curse slip. It was invigorating.
Nanami soon picked up speed, bucking his hips forward into Satoru’s mouth and down his throat. He felt himself falling into pleasure-fueled hysteria, no longer able to control his hips as he thrust into his mouth with full force, feeling Satoru’s nose bump against his lower stomach each time. The wet squelching sounds coming from Satoru’s throat were downright salacious, and his face and Nanami’s cock were a mess of precome and spit. Satoru raised trembling hands before setting them on Nanami’s thighs, sinking his fingertips into his quads and leaving behind crescent-shaped tattoos.
“F-fuck, I’m close, Satoru,” Nanami gasped, throwing his head back as he continued using Satoru’s head like a fleshlight. “Let me just pull ou—”
Hearing his name in Nanami’s mouth made Satoru go as crazy as Nanami did over being called daddy. He wanted nothing less than for Nanami to leave his mouth empty. His throat was rubbed raw, and he’d been fighting his gag reflex with every fiber of his being, but the pain hardly compared to the orgasmic pleasure he was feeling in his groin. So, he moved his hands to Nanami’s ass and pushed him forward so he had no choice but to stay inside Satoru’s mouth.
“S-Satoru—! If you do that, I’m going to…ngh…coming!”
Satoru’s eyes rolled up into his head as the combination of his scalp burning from Nanami’s tight hold on his hair and the semen pouring down his throat hit him. He was finally tasting Nanami’s semen, and while it certainly wasn’t creme brûlée, it was everything he had dreamed about and more. Satoru was certainly a playboy before he got attached to Nanami, but Nanami had thoroughly turned him into a downright whore.
After gulping down what felt like multiple loads of semen, Satoru slowly slid off Nanami’s cock with a pop and wiped away the mess of come and spit mixing on his chin and down his neck. His eyes were bloodshot, his eyelashes glued together from tears that streamed down his cheeks. The more Nanami gazed down at him, the more he felt himself grow harder again despite orgasming only a minute ago.
He reached down and wiped a stray tear away from Satoru’s cheek before bringing it up to his mouth and licking it.
“How many people have you practiced that with?” he asked, although he didn’t want to know the real answer. Satoru knew to play along, and he loved that about him.
“Nobody, daddy,” Satoru said, rising to his feet and pressing his chest against Nanami’s. “I promise.”
“You—fuck.” Nanami couldn’t help the breathless curse that left his lips. He gave Satoru a once-over, taking in his cotton sweater and black slacks, before grabbing him by the neck and tossing him onto the sofa. He loved looking at Satoru clothed, but at that moment, he needed him naked, and fast. “You showered before this, right?”
“Yes…” Satoru trailed off as he watched with poorly concealed excitement as Nanami undid his jeans and ripped them off in one fell swoop, leaving him in his special briefs. They bordered on women’s underwear with how small they were, but they were white cotton, still having that masculine edge while poorly hiding his weeping erection. He had nearly orgasmed just from having Nanami’s cock stretching his throat, and the evidence was plain as day looking at his briefs.
“I…I also prepped,” Satoru said sheepishly, his hand trailing between his legs. “You don’t have to do anything. You can just…fuck me.”
He pressed a finger to his hole, still clothed by his briefs. He stifled a gasp, remembering how thoroughly he fingered himself in the shower before walking over to Nanami’s. He knew Nanami had a big cock, just by the virtue of his being—but seeing it in person was something else. Insecurity sunk in as he realized he may not have been as prepped as needed.
Luckily, Nanami didn’t think Satoru prepping himself was enough. He needed to take it upon himself to pleasure his partner back, the partner he had yearned after for so long and who was now indulging in his most embarrassing kink.
“Come here,” Nanami commanded, grabbing Satoru’s hips and pulling him down. He then raised Satoru’s hips up into the air so that his ass was flush with his face. He licked a line from Satoru’s clothed cock down to his ass, pressing his tongue into the fabric until he could feel the throbbing hole lying past that thin barrier.
“A-ah, daddy, wait! That feels—hah…”
“Good?” Nanami asked, echoing Satoru’s previous purr. “So you knew that we’d be doing this tonight. Did you come over fully intending on seducing me?”
Satoru covered his face with a forearm, but his blush radiated past that. “Yeah, I did. Does that make you…disgusted?”
“Disgusted?” Nanami sounded appalled just at the thought of being disgusted that the man he’d been in love with for so long had wanted to have sex with him so badly he prepped himself before forcing himself into his coworker’s apartment, prepared to put his feelings on the table and their relationship on the line. Luckily for Nanami, Satoru was a bold motherfucker.
“It makes me want to eat you up,” he finished before pulling the briefs aside and diving into Satoru’s heat. He kissed a trail from Satoru’s balls down his perineum and finally, while listening to the symphony that was Satoru’s moans, licked the hole he’d be using and abusing very, very soon.
“Yes, yes! Fuck, that feels so…ngh, good…” Satoru couldn’t help embarrassing himself over and over, and Nanami’s neighbors would certainly hate him after that night. But he had dreamed about this moment for so long that he couldn’t help being overdramatic, couldn’t help wanting to let Nanami know how truly grateful and excited he was to have his coworker eating him out.
Nanami licked and sucked, trailing a hand to Satoru’s cock to stroke him there, too. He pressed a thumb into the head of his cock as he slid his tongue inside him, driving Satoru wild. He watched from his peripheral vision as one of Satoru’s hands gripped the bedsheets while the other came to rest on Nanami’s head, gripping his hair in much the same way as Nanami did with him.
“I’m close, daddy, I’m close,” Satoru breathed, his eyes fluttering closed to process his pleasure. However, he didn’t want the night to end like this. He opened an eye and peered around his hips in the air to see Nanami’s cock standing at attention as if he hadn’t just orgasmed a few minutes ago. After all the excitement that night, Satoru wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep going after one orgasm—and he wasn’t about to leave Nanami unattended.
“Daddy, fuck me. Fuck me, please. Now.” He wasn’t pleading anymore. He was demanding.
Nanami lifted his head from between Satoru’s legs, savoring the heat of his now-lover’s thighs pressed against his ears. He turned his head and sunk his teeth into the soft inner flesh of Satoru’s thigh, eliciting a yelp from the other as Nanami licked around the bite to seal the deal.
“Are you sure?” he murmured against Satoru’s thigh while gazing at him. “I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back.”
Satoru reached down to his discarded pants on the floor and rifled through one of the pockets, bringing out a condom. Or, what looked like just one condom, before he let the entire roll of about six condoms drop down.
He smirked as he watched Nanami’s face fall. “I’m hoping you don’t.”
He winked as he tossed the stack to Nanami, who set down Satoru’s hips in favor of ripping a single condom packet away from the stack. An entire stack; Satoru couldn’t be serious. But as Nanami swung his gaze back over to the sorcerer, he realized that his playboy label was still true—his sights were set solely on Nanami at that moment. He was insatiable, as evidenced by him spreading his pretty, slender legs dusted with pink blush and a deep bite mark, knowing full well what that would unlock inside Nanami.
“You’re a drug, Satoru Gojo,” Nanami mumbled. “Not only prepping yourself, but keeping an entire roll of condoms…you are one conniving bastard.”
Saying his senior’s full name without honorifics and calling him names were still strange to him. But when he saw how Satoru’s cock twitched after what he said, he realized just how much of a turn-on either saying his name or being called names could be. Perfect.
“Then come have me,” Satoru said, holding out his arms as he watched Nanami tear a condom wrapper and slide it onto his cock. “However many times you like.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game,” Nanami said, guiding his cock to Satoru’s entrance and pressing the head to the rim. Just that small touch had both men breathless, their chests rising and falling erratically to compensate.
“I love games,” was all that Satoru could reply with before Nanami pushed inside. The next thing that came out of Satoru’s mouth was a whiny moan, his trembling legs crossing behind Nanami’s back and pushing him even further inside him.
“Gojo-sa—nn…you’re tight,” Nanami breathed, his arms faltering in their hold on the couch. He nearly collapsed on top of Satoru but managed to keep himself up, one of his arms gripping one of the couch pillows while the other drifted to Satoru's thigh. He ran his fingers up and down that trembling thigh, raking his fingertips until they created light red trails on his pallid skin.
“F-feels…feels so good, daddy,” Satoru said, his voice hitching in his throat with how much every synapse in his body was on fire. It hurt, the stretching sensation from Nanami’s large cock making Satoru bite his lip. But the sheer pleasure he felt from finally being connected to Nanami, to know how his most intimate region felt inside him, to know the face Nanami made when he orgasmed…the pain was secondary. “More…harder, please.”
Nanami wanted to do more. God, how he wanted to fuck Satoru senseless until he could no longer speak and anything that came out of his mouth were whimpers. But he wanted to admire his lover first, wanted to take in his first time with the man he’d been in love with for years.
He slowly trailed his hands underneath Satoru’s sweater, pushing it up so that those pretty pink nipples he’d seen whenever they’d change in gym class or go to onsens together and had dreamed about. With a final push that fully buried his cock inside Satoru, he leaned over and took one of Satoru’s nipples between his teeth. His ears pricked at the sound of Satoru’s sweet gasp, and he dove in for more, sucking on the entire nipple while rolling the other between his fingers.
“There is…too much…” Satoru couldn’t object even if he tried. The stretching of his hole, the tickling sensation of his nipples sending ripples throughout his body, Nanami’s heat draped over him, everything amassed into a wave that crested and crashed over Satoru when Nanami bit his nipple again. “Too much! C-com—”
Satoru barely finished his sentence before semen spurted from his cock and painted his stomach white. His walls clamped down completely onto Nanami’s cock, causing him to groan and leaving any sort of movement impossible. Not that he wanted to move anyway—he wanted nothing more than to watch Satoru in the throes of an orgasm so powerful, his entire body went still before breaking out into shakes. His back arched off the bed and his legs squeezed Nanami’s waist so hard, he’d surely have bruises the next day.
Everything about Satoru was delectable. The more Nanami looked, the more he saw Satoru’s body as sweet: his nipples were strawberry-pink, his hole cherry-red, his skin milk-white.
“Are you alright, Gojo-san?” he asked sincerely once Satoru seemed to calm down, his chest rising and falling desperately to compensate for the lack of oxygen to his brain. He splayed a hand over Satoru’s chest, but the poor man was so oversensitive that he flinched away at the feather-like touch.
“F-fuck,” he sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as he flung a forearm over his face. “That was…fuck.”
“You orgasmed after I barely put it in,” Nanami remarked, his eyes falling to Satoru’s nipples. “And after I played with you here for a few seconds.”
His hand came to rest over one of Satoru’s pecs, his fingers bumping against the abused nipple and making Satoru squirm underneath him. His eyes flickered back to Satoru’s face with an uncharacteristic smirk.
“You’re in for a long night, Satoru.”
Without another warning, he pulled out, leaving Satoru breathless, before slamming inside him, digging his fingers into Satoru’s waist.
“Fuck! Ah, daddy—it’s too much…” Satoru cried, his arms flailing in the air before coming to rest on Nanami’s shoulders.
Nanami leaned in slightly to make it easier for Satoru to hold onto him. “I thought you wanted more.”
Satoru pouted silently and turned his face away, but his pouting only lasted for a few seconds before Nanami thrust into him brutally again, enough for the wind to be knocked out of him. Except this time, Nanami gave him no breathing room, instead striking up a rhythm that had Satoru gasping for air with each thrust.
“Oh—ngh! Yes, yes, more…daddy…!” The new pet name settled over each man like an aphrodisiac, leaving Satoru hard again and Nanami throbbing inside his lover.
The combination of Satoru’s walls hugging him as if they never wanted to let go, Satoru’s moans, and Satoru’s beautiful expressions were enough to have Nanami fighting the crest of an orgasm from crashing over him. His rhythm gave him enough pleasure to leave his entire body buzzing, but it was punishing and left him racing to the finish. He was fucking into Satoru hard and fast, each thrust sending the couch a few centimeters to the right, the legs scraping against the floor. His fingers were already leaving bruises on Satoru’s svelte waist, and his thighs were littered with marks.
In the few seconds Nanami had left before he succumbed to orgasm, he leaned over and sunk his teeth into the tender flesh of Satoru’s neck, savoring the small cry Satoru let out. A shiver rattled each of Nanami’s vertebrae at the sensation of Satoru raking his fingernails down his back desperately as if he was hanging on for dear life. After releasing the bite and licking it as a silent apology, he turned his attention to Satoru’s ear, licking the shell of it and drawing out another weepy cry from his lover.
“I love you, too, Satoru,” he whispered and smiled to himself when those three words seemed to lead to Satoru’s second orgasm of the night.
But Satoru wasn’t orgasming alone. Nanami was right behind him, his hand shooting out to grip the couch’s arm for support as he slammed into Satoru once, twice, before filling the condom to the brim. He let out a shaky groan, his eyes squeezing shut tightly enough for white stars to break out in his vision.
“I feel it…I feel you,” Satoru whispered, his fingers releasing their hold on Nanami’s back and replacing it with a feather-like touch as he traced shapes into his skin. “Inside me. When was the last time you…”
Satoru swallowed thickly, thoroughly exhausted after his orgasms—the second of which ended up being completely dry. Nanami made him feel so good that his body couldn’t even keep up with semen production to go along with his orgasms. It made Satoru’s eyes drift to the roll of condoms and wonder how many more Nanami could fill up.
“A long, long time,” Nanami replied, slowly opening his eyes after what felt like eons.
His vision was bright at first before adjusting to the living room light. Once his eyes adjusted, he lowered them to his lover and was met with Satoru’s magnificent eyes staring up at him expectantly. He hadn’t masturbated in a few weeks at least, having been too busy with work, curses, and teaching to sit down and watch porn. Besides, he’d exhausted his specific niche of Satoru-lookalikes crying out daddy, and he couldn’t get off to any other video. Satoru had captured not only Nanami’s heart but also his attention. Nobody else was comparable to his Satoru Gojo.
“Well,” Satoru said, his hand moving to the back of Nanami’s neck to bring him down for a kiss. After a shallow kiss, he rested his forehead against Nanami’s and smiled. “Prepare to do it again. And again.”
Nanami’s eyes shifted to the condoms. “Now?”
Satoru licked his lips. “Now, daddy.”
Nanami asked no more questions after that.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jjk satoru#jjk nanami#nanami kento#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#jjk kento#nanago#jjk nanago#fanfic#fanfiction#jjk fanfiction#nanami smut#nanami x gojo
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hii! been obsessed with your writing lately. thank you for sharing with us!!
if it inspires you, i would love to see your interpretation of prompt 46 from the fluff prompt list ("you doodled hearts in my notebook again.") with university! chan.
always excited for your stories, take care!!
ah!! thank you for your kind words and thank you for requesting this!!! ugh university fics always gives me the butterflies 🥲
request your own: full prompt list!
check out my masterlist! // chan's m.list
fluff prompt #46: "you doodled hearts in my notebook again."
you had missed a lecture the day before, overwhelmed with assignments and life, and chan, being the helpful seatmate that he was, offered to lend you his notes. it wasn’t the first time he’d done it, but this time felt a little different.
you weren’t sure why, but when you took his notebook, you felt a little nervous, maybe because you'd always liked chan more than just a friend.
the next day, you returned the notebook, trying to act casual about it. “thanks again for letting me borrow it. i swear, i’ll catch up on everything soon,” you said, handing him his notes with a small, apologetic smile.
chan took the notebook with a bright grin, always more than happy to help. “don’t worry about it. you can borrow it again if you need it.”
“you’re too nice,” you said, giving him a teasing look.
“only because you’re my favorite study buddy,” he joked, though the words slipped out a little more naturally than he intended.
later that night, chan found himself finally sitting down with the notebook after a long day, eager to check if you had caught up on the material. but when he opened it, he was caught off guard.
there, scattered across the pages, were little hearts doodled around his name.
he let out a breath, half-laughing in disbelief. again?
this wasn’t the first time it had happened. months ago, when he had lent you his notebook for the first time, you had drawn hearts around his name, and he had been so embarrassed that he didn’t even mention it to you. it seemed like a one-time thing. but now, here it was again—little hearts marking his name, just as sweet as before.
chan’s fingers traced over the doodles as his heart began to race. he tried to convince himself that it didn’t mean anything. maybe you just liked drawing hearts. but deep down, he wondered—was this your way of telling him something?
the next day, chan sat next to you in class, unable to hide his small grin. you sat down next to him, but he was already focused on his notebook, pretending to take notes, though his mind was completely elsewhere.
you looked at him, wondering why he was being so quiet. finally, after a few moments, he spoke up, his voice light but teasing.
“you doodled hearts in my notebook again,” chan said, his eyes playful as he watched you.
you blinked in confusion. “what? i did?” you stammered, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
chan nodded, turning his notebook toward you, showing you the page where your hearts were still drawn around his name.
“you did. and this isn’t the first time either,” he added, his voice softer now, like he was trying to understand. “didn’t you do this before, a long time ago?”
your face flushed a bright shade of red. “i—I didn’t even realize I did it,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze. “it’s just... a habit.”
chan’s lips curled up into a soft smile as he watched your nervous reaction. “you really don’t realize it, huh?” he teased gently.
you sighed, trying to laugh it off. “nope, no idea. i just doodle stuff when i’m bored, you know?”
but chan wasn’t buying it. he leaned in a little closer, his eyes glinting with curiosity. “are you trying to tell me something with all these hearts? or is it just a coincidence?” he asked, voice dropping slightly.
your heart raced, and you nervously fiddled with the hem of your shirt, avoiding his gaze. “what do you mean?” you asked, feigning ignorance even though you could feel your face getting hotter by the second.
chan raised an eyebrow, his playful smile growing. “are you trying to tell me something? like… maybe you have a crush on me?” he asked, his voice light and teasing, though there was an edge of curiosity behind it.
your mouth opened and closed as if you were searching for the right words, but nothing came out. the teasing in his tone made you even more flustered, and you struggled to think of something to say.
you managed to mumble, suddenly feeling way too exposed, “it’s just… hearts, right? i always doodle hearts. no big deal.”
chan couldn’t hold back the laugh that bubbled up inside him. “right, just hearts. everywhere. around my name,” he repeated, his voice a little more teasing this time.
you huffed, clearly embarrassed. “okay, okay! maybe i got carried away,” you admitted, now trying to hide behind your notebook. “it’s just something i do when i’m bored. no hidden meanings, promise.”
chan’s grin softened, and he looked at you with a more genuine curiosity. “are you sure?” he pressed, his voice lowering slightly. “because, you know, you can tell me anything.”
you bit your lip, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. “it’s really nothing,” you whispered, but you weren’t sure if you believed that anymore.
chan studied your face for a moment, his smile softening into something more tender. “well, if there’s something you want to tell me... i’m all ears,” he said, his tone sincere.
you didn’t know what to say to that, so instead, you just sat there, lost in his eyes for a moment longer than you should have. but chan could see it all, the way you were looking at him, it was the same fondness he had in his eyes when he looks at you. he wonders if you can see the fondness in his eyes.
“well,” chan said softly, his smile still there but with a little more sincerity, “maybe i’ll just take it as a sign that you like me too.”
your heart skipped a beat as your eyes widened,"too"?
chan watches as the pieces of puzzles slowly click in your head before you let out a small smile
“you think so?”
chan nodded, his voice playful yet serious. “i think it’s pretty obvious.”
and for the first time, you smiled at him without hiding. maybe there was something more to the doodles after all.
#seventeen#seventeen imagine#svt#svt x reader#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen x reader#fanfic#dino seventeen#seventeen dino#dino x reader#dino fluff#dino imagines#dino fanfic#lee chan imagine#lee chan fluff#dino x you#lee chan fanfic#lee chan seventeen#seventeen lee chan#lee chan x you#lee chan x reader#lee chan#chan seventeen#seventeen chan#daisymbin: reqs
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who do you think are jk and jm's comfort people in the group besides each other and why?
Hi anon,
This question is kinda tough but I’ll try my best to answer.
I think for Jimin, it’s Hobi and Yoongi but they do very different things for him. Hobi is Jimin’s Jimin. You know that person who dotes on him, encourages him, is soft with him and pretty much always there for him no matter where or what. I think them being roommates the longest out of all the other members helped out in them being so close.
As for Yoongi, I think he is the person Jimin goes to when he needs someone to talk to about the difficult parts of life. I think Yoongi is that objective voice of reason for Jimin who tells him what he needs to hear not what he wants to hear. Yoongi to Jimin is someone who encourages and pushes him to go beyond his limits so he is definitely someone I believe that Jimin knows that he needs. Yoongi also believes in Jimin very much and never fails to let him know that he believes in him.
Clearly, Yoongi and Hobi fulfil very different needs for Jimin and he relates to them in very different ways but I think they both are his comfort persons…..just in very different ways.
For Jungkook, it is harder to pick because he naturally isn’t someone who goes to others for comfort a lot by his own admission and based on what I’ve seen. The only person that Jungkook has ever admitted going to for comfort is Jimin and that is the only person we actually see him gravitating to when he needs comfort so I don’t know if he really has any other comfort person in the group but I know that he has others in the group whom he really enjoys spending time with.
He likes hanging out with Tae and doing fun things with him which obviously puts him in a good mood so in one way we can call that some kind of comfort but I just don’t ever see him trying to seek him out when he is in a funk like we have seen him seek Jimin out. I know that they talk too and share a lot of stuff with each other but I just don’t think they have those deep heart to hearts like maybe yoonmin do and not because they don’t want to but because both of them just don’t seem like the type to really know how to handle those kinds of discussions reason why it has always been clear that both of them sought Jimin out for comfort more than they sought each other out.
I think Jungkook naturally has a hard time opening up to people about his feelings and usually deals with them on his own which is why I think it is a huge deal that the only one he has ever admitted to actually seeking comfort from or needing comfort from is Jimin and this is probably thanks to Jimin’s personality. He has a personality where he allows you to be vulnerable with him. He makes you feel heard and validated and seems like no one feels judged when they confide in him. I don’t think there is a single BTS member who hasn’t at some point found the biggest comfort in Jimin.
This is what I think anon but anyone is more than welcome to contribute.
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We surface eventually, and clamber down the back stairs and out into sharp morning light, squinting against the sun. I feel like a vampire. My friends’ faces are gaunt and drawn, eyes still black. They look like they’ve been dead for a week.
Except Jen, sober Jen, who smiles sleepily and stretches her arms, breath condensing in the cold air. “God, that was mad,” she says. “What time is it?”
“Eight,” I say. Being out in the daylight like this is always weird, with families walking around, people going to work, while we are like creatures who have dug our way out of the earth, lurching toward home amongst the living. My mouth is so dry, and my jaw hurts. I foresee an afternoon spent throwing up, head in the toilet bowl, groaning as Jonas hammers on the door, appealing to my sense of humanity by reminding me there’s only one bathroom in the apartment.
“Oh, well, I should probably pack my bags and stuff.” Jen says.
I rub my eyes. “Oh, your flight.”
“Oh, Jen,” Dalia says with a big sad face, “I wish you could stay,” they hug, and rock each other side to side. “Please, come back and visit. This was so fun.”
“I swear!” Jen says. “I love you guys. Come see me in Dublin!”
“Don’t make them go there,” I say, to which she laughs. “Actually, yeah. Never mind. I’ll come back here! And for longer!”
“Please!” Elias and Dalia cry in unison, and then we leave, trudging toward the train station.
She snoozes on my shoulder on the U-Bahn, while Jonas and I, wired, wide awake, stare at our reflections in the window all the way back to Kreutzberg.
I lie on my bed, eyes on the cracks on the ceiling, while Jen shoves things into her suitcase. She’s cleaned off all her makeup, leaving black smudged wiped crumpled on the surrounding floor.
“This was so fun,” she’s saying. “I had such a good time. I mean, last night was amazing. Did you see I kissed that girl with the fan?”
“The fan?”
“Yeah, she was carrying this weird, lacy fan. Anyway, she was dead pretty. I wish I’d gotten her number.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I tried, but she didn’t speak English. There was no point.”
“So you didn’t speak before you starting kissing her.”
“No, we didn’t need to. I just met her eyes across the dancefloor and we both knew.”
“Ah, nice.”
The mattress shifts under her weight, and her face slides into my vision, pink cheeked, with eyeliner still smudged in the spaces between her lashes. “You’re coming down.”
“Yep.”
“Poor Judie. Rough day ahead.”
“Honestly, it’ll probably be a few days. A week, even.”
“Oof. Do you do this a lot?”
“Too much, probably.”
“Oh well,” she plonks back down to the rug and continues shoving things into her case. “At least I know you’re having fun over here. I’d be worried you’re suffering.”
“Do you worry about that?”
“Kind of.”
I laugh gently. “No, Jenny. I’m not suffering. Things are good.”
She struggles with the zip, and it rasps lowly against the bulk. “I was worried I wouldn’t like your friends, you know. I’m glad I met them, because they’re amazing.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I wish they were my friends. Jonas is adorable. Elias too, so fun, and Dalia is probably the coolest girl I ever met in my life. I never got to ask her what part of America she comes from.”
“Pittsburgh.”
“I dunno where that is.”
“Nowhere close to where I grew up.”
“You sound different when you talk to her.”
Turning my head is an effort, and the room lurches a little. Later, I’ll probably be so dizzy that standing up feels like getting off the waltzers. “How so?”
“Your accent gets more American. Did you know that?”
“No.”
“Well, it does. I suppose when you’re talking to someone from the states you kind of copy what they’re doing, or something. It’s just funny, because you weren’t like that at home.”
“With dad?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it’s not like I really talk to him, is it?”
She pauses thoughtfully. “Well, I’ve heard you say ‘okay’ to him a few times.”
“Hm,” I say. “Well, maybe I’ll lose my Irish accent while I’m here.”
“Would you like to?”
I shrug. “Sure.”
I shut my eyes in the hopes it will stave off the wave of dizziness that comes over me. My temples throb gently with the onset of a headache. I half listen as Jen goes on about how great my friends are, Jonas, Elias, Dalia. Perhaps she’s hoping I won’t notice who she has left out, but she is wrong.
“What did you think of Astrid?” I say, and she pauses, just for a beat, before answering with enormous enthusiasm.
“Oh, she’s gorgeous. You were right. Even better in person than in the pictures.”
“Yeah.” I roll on my side. “She’s incredible looking, I know, but… like, did you like her?”
“Of course I did.”
“Yeah?”
“She’s so nice.”
I hesitate. Astrid isn’t that nice. At least it’s not a word I would use to describe her ahead of something like intelligent, confident, shrewd. Out of all the traits she has that I admire, I couldn’t say her niceness is something that sticks out. It’s not important to me, and I require it from her. Nice isn’t untrue, exactly, but it's not a real answer.
“Your opinion is really important to me,” I say, and she busies herself in her backpack, double checking for her phone charger and passport.
“No, I mean it,” she says distractedly. “She seems to care a lot about you, and that’s the main thing, you know what I mean?”
On my elbow now, I look at her, pulling things out of her bag and shoving them back in, and my anxiety rises. I wanted our dinner to go a little better, sure, and they could have hit it off more than they did, but Astrid is Astrid. She’s a tough nut to crack at the first meeting. It takes a while for her to warm up, to get comfortable. She takes some getting used to.
“I know things were a bit awkward there, when we were talking about school, and she didn’t have anything to say and all that.”
She waves this off. ‘No, it’s fine. She didn’t have to say anything. I was more worried about whether we were annoying her by talking about it so much.”
“I doubt it.”
“It’s alright, like, she doesn’t need to have the same humour as me.”
I frown. “Well, you and I have the same humour. In fact, we’re so alike that I thought you’d get along with her.”
“We got along.”
“But you weren’t bowled over.”
She sighs, “Jude, don’t make me talk myself into an awkward position.”
“I’m not doing that. I’m just wondering what you thought.”
“Yeah, but it’s like you’re not accepting my answer.”
“You haven’t answered.”
“I have. I said she’s nice.”
“Yeah, but like, ‘nice’ is a non-answer.”
“She’s not what I expected, right? But there’s nothing wrong with that. I just always thought you’d prefer to go out with a girl that laughed at the same things as you, or was silly and goofy, or, I don’t know, less… severe. I’ll meet Astrid again, and I’m sure I’ll be bowled over. We just didn’t have a lot of time to get to know each other. It was only a few hours, and, I dunno, Jonas was there too, and I was talking to him, mostly.”
“I–” I decide to ignore the first part about the girls I supposedly like. “Well, I hope so. I’d be pretty sad if my girlfriend and my best friend didn’t get along.”
“Everyone is friendly here.”
“Right.”
“I can tell you don’t believe me.”
I sigh reluctantly, and fall back onto the bed. My headache makes my brain slosh against the inside of my skull. “Jenny, I do. I believe you,” I say. “And I’m glad you like her. It’d be really fucking shit for me if you didn’t.”
“Well, I do.”
“I’m glad.”
“Good.”
Beginning // Prev // Next
#lucky boy 2011#sorry for late post I’m painting a ceiling lol#sims 4 story#ts4#sims 4#sims 4 storytelling#sims storytelling#sims story#simblr#simblr story
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I can see Shadow being a girl dad, he'd be the type to pull out a gun whenever a adult gets too close to his kid but also be the one to dress up as a fairy princess for her tea party.
I’ve always loved this, too! Shadow just gets along super well with women and girls. I don’t know of any time when he’s had a proper conversation with Cream, but wholesome fanart of him babysitting her and wearing flower crowns she made for him is everywhere.
I interpret Shadow’s protectiveness in a specific way. He’d stand between his kids and a threat whenever necessary, especially when the kids are young, but I think he’d ultimately prioritize teaching them to defend against any threats themselves. I see him as less of a “mess with my kids and I’ll make you pay” dad and more of an “if anyone messes with you, sweetheart, don’t hold back” dad. He doesn’t have to worry because he’s made sure they’ve got it covered. Every shadamy kid gets a gun, a hammer, or both, and his respect for women means he wouldn’t hesitate to arm them. None of this “girls are delicate flowers” nonsense from Shadow. Martial arts are on the table, too; with Amy, Shadow, Knuckles, and Rouge all being close by, she’d be a threat even without a weapon.
In all seriousness, he’d want to be absolutely sure the kid is battle-ready even when he’s not around because he knows better than anyone what the consequences could be otherwise. That’s one thing I think he’d love about Amy, too; he knows she’s made herself a contender in her own right, and they’ll both look out for the ones they love. Together. Battle Couple, Battle Family.
Toonsite has a couple really cute comics about Shadow babysitting Cream that fit this motif...
[x] [x]
...and ChocomilkAmy has a funny one with a shadamy fankid:
[x]
And although I love the idea of Shadow having a daughter, he’d of course love his kid regardless of gender. Which gives me an excuse to link Rhael’s wonderful, adorable little mini-comic of human!Shadow holding his newborn son:
[x]
I’m not crying, you’re crying :’)
And speaking of kids and family stuff...
@multishipingriy
I think Amy would be the one to ask for a first date, but Shadow would be the one to propose. Amy initiating the relationship matches her bold personality and lines up with my recent theory about their feelings. I also sometimes wonder if Shadow would be insecure about romance or feel she “deserved better,” so he’d hesitate to act first, but she’d break down those walls and pump up his self-esteem straight away. A few years in, he’d definitely have the confidence to propose. It’s not that Amy wouldn’t, but more that I feel she’d forever cherish a romantic proposal, and he’d want to do that for her. Shadow knows what he wants, and if that’s Amy, he’ll make it happen. Because they both deserve it.
The topic of children is one that I think is unique to their situation because Amy’s already made it clear she wants them, even this early in her life. Sonic Battle was particularly brazen about it...
(Sega made Cream a rabbit when they should have made her a GOAT.)
...but if that seems like too much because it is, I’ve organized this before, too:
Amy’s already nurturing. Once she gets older, I believe her existing behavior would bend in a more motherly direction, and it would be so clear that she wants to be a mom that she wouldn’t even need to formally clarify it. The onus would be on Shadow, I think, to speak up once he feels comfortable with the idea. I suggested some of his potential reservations in headcanon #167.
I think he’d be great at it. If you’re curious why I feel that way, check out my Father’s Day headcanon from a few years ago.
#ask#not a headcanon#anonymous#multishipingriy#hope you two don't mind that i put you together#i have been neglecting my inbox and now it is...an undertaking
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Bones - Part 6 [Mack x David]
A/N: This chapter has a lot of items in it for what was sent in as requests for the series! I hope you loooooove it! It's spicy, funny, and sweet all wrapped up in one. Happy Saturday, bbys!
Favorite quote? "You my girl, Hischier?" 😍🥵😩
Word Count: 4.5k
It’s almost laughable about what is currently happening right now.
If Mack thinks about the last year of her life, she really could not have imagined everything that has transpired. A year ago, she was still seeing David as a fling, a hot fuck whenever she felt the itch needed to be scratched. Which was a lot because, well, he’s David. Now, all her belongings are packed into brown boxes, ready to be carted away to David’s apartment. Well, their apartment.
This is all happening willingly. A lot of conversations have been had about this in the months since Mack returned to New York. As much as David assured her they could slow things down, Mack didn’t see the point. If they’re gonna do this, they should really do it. Commit. Go all in the way they both deserve now. She already ran once and she’s not doing it again.
So when Mack went the whole month of February without going back to her place, she brought the topic up.
“What if I move in?” Mack had asked in his arms as they watched TV together on a Wednesday night. Mack had terrible cramps and his hand laid across the warm, heating pad covering her lower abdomen, massaging lightly.
“Haven’t you already?” He murmured. Mack looked around his place, seeing her stuff littered everywhere. Maybe she’s made herself a little too at home.
“Okay, what if I brought everything here?” She reframed.
“I’d say it would finally be home for me too.” He answered, kissing her puckered lips.
That was a month ago. Mack broke her lease four months early and now she is here, monitoring the move with an iced espresso in her hand.
She grabs her phone, taking a picture of her by all her boxes and sending it to her boyfriend. David is currently out of town for the last Rangers road game of the season in Philadelphia. It was exciting to send him off knowing when he came back they would be living together. Her and David discussed their furniture and were able to consolidate it all down to fit into his place. Most of her decor has been donated though. The overly feminine pieces wouldn’t have made sense in the current modern, masculine design. David has already given her free reign to make changes.
Right now, Mack doesn’t have the desire. She likes it just the way it is.
After the movers pack up the last of her boxes, Mack walks down to the office to turn her keys in. She waves goodbye to the leasing office agents then moves to the lobby where Ron waits, already teary.
“I knew you would be gone after that first kiss.” Ron admits to her. Mack tears up, nodding her head.
“He is impossible to say no to.”
“I am happy for you, Mack.” He says as she hugs him. “This is good for you. Being closer to Lucie will be good too.” Ron is right about this, especially as Lucie is expecting her second daughter later in the year.
“Thank you, Ron. For everything. I’ll pop by and visit, okay? Bring you some Swiss Chocolate when I go back home.”
“I would love that. Tell your parents I said goodbye." Mack nods.
“How about see you later instead?” Ron smiles then waves her off to her next chapter like the good, kind man he is.
The movers are already in motion when she arrives to her new, familiar building. She quickly rushes upstairs and then gets out of their way again. She sits at the dining room table, checking in on work chats and emails. They are done in under an hour. Mack tips them in extra cash for the quick service, then shuts the door behind them all. She leans back against the door and grins. She snaps another picture to send to David.
Welcome home, honey
Come home to me soon 🥺
I will. Don’t give away any of my shit until I get home.
Say please.
Please. Brat.
Mack snickers then sends him a thumbs up in response.
The rest of the day she unpacks her things. She is able to get all of her clothes and bathroom items put away before the game starts. Then once it does, she moves to the kitchen so she can multitask. Anything that there is double of, she leaves out on the counter for them to discuss.
Mack raises her gaze to the TV when the announcers exclaim that David is fighting with another player. She winces as David’s fist connects with the guys face, sending him to the ice with a bloody cheek. She shakes her head as David skates lazily towards the penalty box, unaffected. Men.
Mack is still unwrapping glassware in the kitchen when David comes home. She took a long, extended break to have dinner with Lucie downstairs. Then she helped read Stella bed time stories until she fell asleep. By the time Mack left, Lucie had been asleep on the couch too. This arrangement is already working out wonderfully for the Hischier girls.
“Honey, I’m home.” David calls out as he walks in. She laughs.
“How long have you been dying to do that?”
“Oh, forever.” He admits. He tosses his bag by the door, then walks into hug her in the kitchen. “Look at you lil unpacking machine.” He kisses her lips. “What’s all this?”
“This is the stuff we have doubles of.”
“Cool. I do not want to do this tonight.”
“No, tomorrow. I’m sleepy.”
“Did they set the bed up?” Mack and David decided to keep Mack’s bed and move his into the second bedroom where her office will be.
“Yep. I washed the sheets. We’re all set.”
“I have been so excited to go to bed tonight.” He chuckles. “Not just because of your bed, but knowing I get you in it every night now…” He trails off. Mack smiles softly up at him, then tugs him by his tie down to kiss him again. David’s hands wind along her back. “You happy, baby?”
“So happy.” She murmurs, chin resting on his chest. He smoothes her hair down at the sides, then leans forward to smooch her lips longingly. “My pretty girl.” He says against her lips, then kisses her deeper.
“You feeling lucky tonight?”
“Mhm.” He mumbles, hands sliding down to her ass. They grip there for a moment, then go to the backs of her thighs to lift her up. As he is walking her to the hallway, his phone rings in his pocket. He sets Mack down on the bed, then pulls the phone out to see who is calling so late.
“Hey Woody.” He answers. He pops the phone on speaker so Mack can hear.
“Hey, uh, can one of you, or both of you, I don’t care, come down and sit with Stella? She’s asleep, but Lucie woke up and is bleeding. We called her doctor and they want her to come in.” Mack sits up quickly.
“Yeah I’ll come down.” Mack says to Connor.
“Thank you. Can you hurry? I’m trying to get Luc there ASAP.”
“Yep, I’m on my way,” Mack reaches for her phone that was charging on the nightstand. She grabs a sweatshirt from the closet, then kisses David goodbye.
“I’ll change and come down.” He calls to her.
“Okay.”
When Mack gets to Connor and Lucie’s apartment, they have the door open, waiting for her.
“Good luck. I love you.” Mack offers to them both. “Text me whats going on when you can.”
“We will.” Connor answers for his wife who looks white as a ghost. Tears line her brown eyes as her husband leads her from the apartment. The door softly shuts behind them. Mack goes to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water, then gets to work on loading dirty dishes from the sink into the dishwasher. She needs to be doing something with her hands after that interaction.
A knock sounds on the door, then David comes popping in.
“Hey honey, did you talk with them?”
“Not really. Lucie looked pretty worried. They were anxious to get going.”
“Hopefully everything is okay.” He brings a hand to her shoulder, rubbing at it, providing her comfort. Mack nods, feeling her throat clog up with emotion. She’s scared for her sister. Pregnancy is no joke. The issues that both mom’s and babies can have are sometimes life threatening. Mack feels queasy just thinking about something being wrong with Lucie or the baby.
“I’m gonna go sit down I think.” Mack murmurs. David follows her to the couch, helping her sit. Mack swallows hard as David wanders back to the kitchen to grab her water for her. He hands it to her. Mack thanks him.
Little, bare footprints hit the hallway. David turns around, seeing a sleepy, pouty Stella appear in the lit hallway arch.
“Where’s daddy?” She asks, rubbing her little eyes tiredly.
“Him and mommy went to go check on your baby sister.” Mack tells her. She opens her arms of her niece and sighs contently when Stella wiggles into her lap. David sits down next to the two girls, offering his hand to Stella for her to hold. She grips two of his fingers with her little hand.
“Why didn’t I get to go?”
“Cause it’s late.”
“I got to go last time.” Lucie and Connor took her to the 20 week appointment so Stella could see her little sister on the ultrasound. It was the talk of her entire week.
“Yeah, this one is a little different, babe.” Mack murmurs, kissing her head as Stella drops it to her shoulder. David reaches up, smoothing back Stella’s wild brown curls.
The three of them sit on the couch like that, quietly comforting one another until Mack gets a text from Connor.
On our way back. Everything is okay.
Mack and David sigh in pure relief. David peeks at Stella’s face, seeing her passed out.
“I’ll take her back to bed.”
Mack allows him to pick her up then follows him down to Stella’s bedroom. In the doorway, she watches David tuck Stella into her little pink, princess bed. He brings the blankets back up to her mid chest, then re-arranges her stuffed animals around her like she prefers. Mack smiles. He’s so good at taking care of his people. Then with a gentle pat of her hair, David walks quietly out of the room. He weaves his and Mack’s fingers together and leads her back to the living room where they wait for Lucie and Connor to return. When they do, the four of them share hugs between each other.
“Thank you, guys.” Connor murmurs as he walks them to the door. Lucie has already padded down the hallway to go to bed, utterly exhausted.
“Of course. We are so thankful everything is okay too.” Mack tells him.
“How did the move go?”
“Good.” She assures him. Connor nods.
“I’m glad your close by now with this guy.” Connor clasps David’s shoulder. “Now I just need him to officially be my brother…” Connor’s blue eyes sparkle playfully.
“Okay, goodnight.” Mack smiles, patting Connor’s arm as she walks through the door.
“What, nothing? You two are really not gonna give me anything?”
“Nope.” David shrugs. “Goodnight.” He tosses an arm around Mack’s shoulders. He kisses her head, then looks back, smirking at his defense partner. Connor scoffs at them then begrudgingly calls goodnight down the hallway. The soft click of the door has Mack and David snickering to each other.
“We’ll never tell.” David jokes to her.
“Never. When we get married, let’s not tell him for like six months.” Mack tangles their fingers together at her right shoulder.
“Oh we’re getting married?” David asks slyly.
“You know we are.”
“I do. Just didn’t realize you did…” He trails off with a smug smirk.
“I don’t move in with guys I don’t see as my future husband.”
“Plural, huh? Damn, I thought I was special.” Mack laughs loudly as they step into the elevator.
“You know what I mean!”
“Yeah that apparently I got some competition somewhere.”
“No, you don’t.” Mack shakes her head. “It’s only ever gonna be you.”
“Ditto, beautiful.” He puckers his lips like a duck at her.
Mack kisses him deeply, then leads him out of the elevator to continue what they started in their bedroom before.
- - - & - - -
The heavy purr of David’s motorcycle beneath Mack’s thighs is weirdly comforting. Playoffs are starting tomorrow and all David wanted to do with his last, non-hectic day was to take out the bike. The weather is cooperating. It’s a warm enough day that Mack won’t freeze in the wind and the streets are mostly cleaned off from the winter time gunk. David had called Mack on his way back from practice, asking her to play hooky with her work day. So she did.
The breeze rolls through Mack’s hair, whipping it about in it’s pony tail that trails down her back. The helmet is making her face and head sweaty, but she doesn’t mind. Her hands spread out along David’s stomach, holding on to him as they take each lazy turn of the Hudson River trail. They’re well out of the city now, seeing the budding trees and the expansive rolling river as it climbs further North. Mack and David did this ride in the fall to see the changing leaves during a few day break for training camp. It’s fun to see the trees coming full circle with their Spring blooms.
David taps Mack’s thigh, letting her know they are going to be changing speeds. He slows down as they come to a scenic overlook. It’s a Tuesday afternoon, so they are alone on the road. David brings the bike to a stop. The shudders of the engine shake Mack as she flips her helmet off. David kicks the stand down, then stands, holding a hand out to help her off.
“You’re getting good at this, honey.” He compliments her as she fixes her hair back into a smoother hairstyle. He puts his helmet next to hers on the bike then stretches out his neck and shoulders as he walks towards the stone wall curving around the cliff. “Damn. If we didn’t start off in the city, I might almost be able to believe we are back home.” Mack smiles in agreement. They are quiet, observing the gorgeous, rolling hills of trees and the lazy flow of the river.
“This was such a good idea. Thank you.” Mack acknowledges. She has been feeling uninspired and antsy in her professional life, even as her personal life smoothes to a steady, comfortable cruise. She just hates everything she is writing. How is it possible she can be in such different places, but her words all sound the same?
“Thank you for coming with me.”
“Of course.” She acknowledges. “I’d go anywhere with you.” David smiles.
“Except Dallas?” Mack stills. Dallas and David haven’t come up together in months. Well maybe it has, but she hasn’t been searching it out like before.
“Oh?”
“What about New York?” Mack looks away, thinking about where this is going.
“I mean, yeah? We were just there.”
“What about if we are there for 8 more years?” Mack startles.
“What?” Her voice already is small and timid from trying to control her emotions.
“Paperwork is coming today.”
“I thought…”
“I did too. But they approached my agent about it last week and I said get it done. Whatever they’re willing to pay me, I’ll take it.”
“So a dollar?” Mack jokes. David tilts his head back and laughs loudly at the sky. Then he reaches for her, pulling her into his chest to hold her close.
“I’m already a rich man having you, honey. I don’t need anything else. I know I tell you stuff like that all the time, but I mean it. This is the first time something big is happening for me when I have someone in my life. I’m so glad it’s you. I love sharing all this with you.”
“Is this the same speech you’re going to give to Connor?”
“Yes.” David smirks. “Can’t live without him either.” Mack giggles, gripping the opening of his leather jacket.
“Wow. New York for eight years. A Ranger for life?”
“Mhm.”
“You’re going to be so old in 8 years… And I’ll still be young.”
“Yeah, don’t worry, we’ll get you passed on to your second husband by then.”
“I can do 8 years with you.” Mack nods in agreement. “I get half though?”
“Sure! If I get half of yours.” Mack gasps then shakes her head no immediately. Despite David’s NHL salary and his lucrative farming business, Mack’s money surpasses his by close to 10 million. Daddy’s money grew well over the years with various, hands-off investments. It will continue to do so in the next 8 years too.
“I’m happy for you. Proud too. You’ve worked so hard to get here. You deserve this.”
“Thank you.” He nods, looking stoic and proud. “I’m excited to see where we are in 8 years.” He squeeze her fingers as they pull apart, looking back out over the gorgeous view they’re in front of.
“Yeah.” Mack murmurs.
But after this last year, Mack knows there is no use trying to picture it now. She’s sure it’s all going to come together the way it should, better than she could even imagine it anyway. Plus right now, all she cares about is being who they are in this moment.
Two people at the starting line of love with a whole life left to live.
- - - & - - -
Inside MSG, Mack and Lucie hold hands with Stella as they walk down the concourse to their seats. All three ladies are decked out in their Rangers playoffs gear. Lucie and Stella have bold white letters with their last name and Connor’s number while Mack is adorned in Carlson and 14. Butterflies are swarming in Mack’s stomach that the margarita at dinner did nothing to fix.
“I wish I could drink right now.” Lucie mutters to her sister as the national anthem ends. The boys are in their home blues, circling around and then gathering at the bench for the opening face off.
“Yeah.” Mack breathes out. Usually, she doesn’t care. But today she does. It’s playoffs. The team has a real chance this year and honestly, with David’s long term investment being announced today, she wants him to play well. She wants him to show the fans and the team exactly what they’re going to get for the next eight years.
As David lines up on Connor’s right side. Mack folds her lip into her mouth. She crosses her legs, sending out safe vibes for her man.
Then the puck drops and utter chaos breaks out.
The game is intense. The crowd loud and in the opposing team’s face. Constant cheering and buzz swirls round them as the teams battle on the ice. David keeps getting into little scrums. Mack sighs every time she sees his gloved hand face wash someone. He jaws at number 44 on the opposing team half the time they’re on the ice together.
At the start of the third period, the game is tied 1-1. The Rangers need a push and it’s no surprise to anyone that David drops the gloves with 44. The two of them swing heavy blows at each other, some connecting, some wizzing by the others head. It’s David that ends up on top. As he skates to the box, he swings his arms up in the air, yelling at the crowd to get pumped. Mack giggles, looking over at her sister.
“Why is that so hot?” Mack nibbles her lip seductively, looking down at him in the penalty box. He runs a towel over his face and hair, leaving the black strands sticking up in places.
“I don’t know.” Lucie shrugs.
“Why did he fight?” Stella asks, looking over at Mack like she should answer for him. “Was he mean?”
“Yeah.” Mack settles on. She isn’t sure what else she could say. Stella is too young to understand the nuances of the game and truthfully, Mack doesn’t think she would care anyway. She’s all about trying to get her second bundle of cotton candy.
The team battles to hold their 1-1 tie game while David is in the box. Several dangerous looks are tossed on goal but the Rangers goalie keeps the team in the game. The crowd cheers loudly when David skates out of the box after his time is done. Now that they have fought, 44 and David keep their distance from each other. David has a game to win and his focus is on the next 10 minutes to get them the W.
It takes another 5 minutes, but the Rangers score. Lucie and Mack fly out of their seats, high-fiving and yelling loudly for their boys as they roll through the bench handshake line.
“Connor assisted on that.” Lucie beams proudly.
The next five minutes feel like hours. Several quick whistles hit. TV time outs play out then an on the ice time out before the opponents pull their goalie. Mack watches through her fingers as the clock winds down. David goes down to block a shot that has Mack yelping. He is fine, but she didn’t like that one. When the final buzzer sounds to signal a Rangers win, the building erupts. Fans wave their white towels furiously with their cheers.
The Rangers have one of their 16 wins.
After the game, Lucie and Mack hang out to wait for the boys. Media takes longer in the playoffs and it’s no surprise that both Connor and David are pulled aside for interviews. They walk out of the locker room together, dressed, with still wet hair as they discuss a few plays from the game.
“Next time, let’s look for a reverse there. I don’t think their forecheck can pick that off behind the net.” David says to Connor.
“I agree. Also I wanna see us stepping up more at the blue line. Light ‘em up.” Connor smirks at his partner as they come to stop by the girls.
“Really?” Lucie whines. “Don’t forget someone here is pregnant.” Her belly pokes out of her jacket as she puts her hands on her hips.
“I did that.” Connor sighs happily. He puts a hand on her belly then leans down to kiss her. David does the same with Mack, minus the hand on her stomach.
“Couldn’t resist, huh?” Mack asks David.
“Never.” He grins.
“I liked it.” She admits. “There is something about you all sexy and ruffled in the penalty box that gets to me.”
“Alright. Bye Woods!” David announces. He wraps Mack up tight into his side, almost head locking her in place. Mack laughs, holding onto his back as he drags her forward.
“Bye!” Mack yells, waving to them without looking back. David’s fingers run over the Carlson on her back as he opens the passenger side door for her.
“Speaking of looking sexy…” He trails off, grinning at her.
“Take me home, cowboy.”
David races home, weaving through traffic quickly so he can get Mackenzie Hischier stripped down to just that jacket on her body. When he slides his cock into her from behind, his low groan of appreciation has Mack buzzing as hard as the arena was earlier.
“Fuck. Look so good with me all over you.” David murmurs. His hands run under her jacket to grab her bare hips. His eyes take in her Carlson covered back as he pumps deep inside of her. Mack whimpers at the delicious fullness of him. His palms slide up to her chest, cupping her breasts as she takes him deep. Mack presses up on her hands so his chest meets her back, then she turns her face to moan into his mouth. “You my girl, Hischier?”
“Yes.”
“Mmm that’s right.” He grabs her cheek, keeping her face turned towards his so he can kiss her and fuck her at the same time. He helps her raised more on her knees so it’s easier for them to stay connected everywhere. “All mine.”
Their change in position makes everything deeper. Mack grasps at his neck to hold on while he pistons into her wet core. His other hand trails down her stomach, wiggling her clit in wild strokes.
“I love you.” He says, resting their noses together as he fucks harder into her.
“I love you.” She moans back. The back of her head hits his shoulder and he finishes her off after her desperate pleas for him to make her come.
He pulls out of her afterwards, gently peeling her jacket off to put it in the closet for the game on Thursday. Then he cleans up in the bathroom before coming back to take care of her.
After he is done wiping her clean, he kisses her deeply. Mack’s heart aches for him to be closer even as he pulls her into his chest to cuddle. It never feels like they are close enough for her. She wants to be pasted to him at all times. Mack brings the fingers of her left hand up to his chest. She traces zig zags down his sternum as a tiredness from their big day of activity begins to descend.
A thought comes to her as she thinks about the next eight years spent right here with him.
“I would have gone to Dallas with you. Or Seattle. Or anywhere.” She murmurs to him. “I only want us to be together. It doesn’t matter where.”
“I’m glad you say that because… I wanna be honest with you. This is my last deal and when it’s done, I wanna head home. Build a life there with you that is slower and quieter than this.” His fingers massage her scalp as he talks.
“I would really like that.” Mack tells him. “We can have matching rocking chairs?”
“Of course. I’ll build you one this summer.” Mack nods.
“I know we have some time before then, but I’m hoping you’ll come home with me this summer. Maybe the end of June? Depending on how things go?” Mack offers to him. She’s been thinking about how much she wants to show him of home. She got to experience him in Iowa and she wants him to see her at home too. In her parents lake house where he can get to know her parents and Sophie better.
“Yes. Of course. If things end early here, we can go right away. We could spend a whole month there if you want.”
“Okay.” Mack nods, smiling into his chest. “I’ll take you to the cabin. Show you were I realized how much I wanted this with you.”
“I’d love that.” He acknowledges, squeezing her in tighter.
It all sounds so easy, wrapped up naked in each other now. All the fear about how hard this could be or how it could not work out is gone. Instead, they’re communicating. They’re asking each other to lean in and sometimes compromise too. Both of them are so willing to do that now.
Because this is worth it.
No matter where. No matter what.
Read more Mack and David here.
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do you guys fuck with the scudlertron badges….. i put them on my tote bag i need everyone to know i am SO annoying
#clone high#doodles#ch#scudlertron#mr butlertron#principal scudworth#cinnamon j scudworth#scudtron#need everyone at my uni to know i’m insufferable….#i’m currently making pizza tower and south park pins rn (so annoying)#sorry for my inactivity btw!#i’ve been doing lots of irl stuff + i haven’t really got a fixation atm#in limbo…. my life is so hard#anyways when i’m done with these next badges i’ll show them off teehee#queue#also if you see how badly i stitched the companion cube + creeper onto my tote bag..#NO YOU DIDNT.#i can’t sew for SHIT!!!!!!!
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an understanding [1/2]
(part 2)
#hi. oh my god someone kill me it has been Way too long#like a month. sorry about the wait but end of the school year has been killing me. you know how it is#asks will now slow down too because i need to. finish part two first#hopefully posting this will motivate me to do it ?!?!??#maybe i’ll release it in june. Like um. like silksomg. lol (bursts into tears)#in the meantime. feeding you all not crumbs but whole bread slices. ok!#anyway. i like how this turned out. glad they’re errr ‘talking it out’ as the kids say#also forgot to make that masterpost stuff whatever. will probably do that sometime in this life#anyway 2. passes out#myart#oc: no way back#oc: needless separation#mycomics
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youtube
#i’m terrified to ever watch this movie. i think it would kill me. basically it’s about a marriage falling apart.#anyway—adam driver would do so good as bobby in company and i would die to see him in it#i’m seeing company tonight!!#it’s a special musical to me. it’s about marriage. how marriage is both exciting and boring and makes your life better and worse.#the months leading up to our wedding i was kind of a cynical mental wreck. there was so much i did not like about my husband-to-be.#sometimes i felt like the only reason i was going through with the marriage was because it was too late to get out of it.#i had spent my teen and college years wanting to have a boyfriend/husband then i got one and realized#oh wait this didn’t actually fix my problems huh#actually there are NEW problems now#and then somehow this past year has actually been like. the best year of my life lol#it’ll be a year next month!#yea there are still those Little Things. sometimes there are Bigger Things. but bruh this dude is so good for me#i have never been thriving as much as i have this year.#i’m so much healthier in so many ways than i have ever been all my life#and like it’s cringe to say that cuz i don’t want to say MARRIAGE is what fixed me but. i think it’s okay to say that#there must be some kind of GOOD to marriage otherwise there’d be no point in doing it#and i think i make his life better too. he tells me so at least lol.#and i’ll only be able to watch the show with one eye LOL but my husboi will be with me watching this musical#that i used to listen to when i was angsty about getting married#and now we are married#and life is great.#somebody need me too much#somebody know me too well#somebody pull me up short and put me through hell#and give me support#for being alive…#yeah there are times when it’s harder than being single but. the blessings are multiplied along with the hardship.#shywalker stuff#Youtube
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results day tomorrow Idek what to do
#when it was gcses I stayed up all night#but then you don’t have to do anything after you get those#like I’ll probably have to fucking call up different places and stuff#also I actually did well in gcses#honestly kind of numb to it like idk where my life is going and I don’t really care either nothing matters anymore#I waited for this day for so long like literally years of my life have been#well I need to do well in these exams so I can finally finally leave#but it was too long and I just got exhausted and stopped caring about improving my life#now I will probably have to spend another year here I can’t take it anymoreee#to the point where I don’t even want to do anything outside of rotting all day anymore#I remember I used to be so excited about finally leaving and getting to do all the things I used to dream about. sad!#maybe some miracle might happen and I get into uni and maybe regain some will to live#who knows who knows
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insane how quickly something small can tank my mood
#i am so tired of being cut off when i’m talking#esp when someone doesn’t even care enough to realize i was over halfway through a sentence#and doesn’t ask what i was saying#or when they just make it incredibly obvious they weren’t paying attention or outright don’t care what i’m talking about#even when i’m talking super excitedly#it makes me feel so fucking small and unimportant#like yeah i guess the shit i say doesn’t matter 99% of the time but it matters to ME#but it hurts so bad when i get cut off only for someone else to say stuff entirely unrelated#and to then just like. stream of consciousness ramble every thought that enters their head#like okay. cool. awesome. alright#my mom does that all the time i’ll be telling her something and then i’ll get cut off or she’ll wait til i’m done#to out of nowhere start telling me super in depth life histories of people she hasn’t seen since she was a child. or people i don’t know.#and it’ll always be so in depth about so many people idk OR so fucking vague i get confused as hell#in the typical boomer just needs to talk at someone or hear their own voice way (sorry ily mom)#and i know i can go on for ages about fandom shit that confuses her or she doesn’t know about but#idk. i do not have much else in my life right now. and i only have her and my sibling and very very few friends that aren’t online#and even irl friends i only see a couple times a year each if i’m lucky#i just hate my life lol and i need to stop before i spiral#i have already gone on long enough and will be embarrassed when i come back to delete this because honestly who gives a shit#i need to get over myself#to be deleted#personal
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(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)
sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.
#tw sui ideation#its honestly just been going through my head for a while#the past two weeks my parents haven’t talked about anything besides my brother#i kinda just feel like i’ve been forgotten in a way#i just feel lonely i guess#and i hate it#it’s just one of those days where i feel lethargic and just numb frankly#and i’m tying to keep posting because it’s not fair that others who don’t give a shit have to read my vents#but i just can’t do this anymore#i’m going through a lot rn#between yesterday and my dog being sick and school starting and my grandma getting surgery and having to move in with my family#it’s all just a lot rn#and sometimes i just think about it and i just hate it#i hate having dark thoughts like this#i’ve been my only therapist because i can’t talk to my parents#i can’t talk to them about this stuff or they’ll just give me the “you can be sad but you can’t pack up and live there” bullshit#I DIDNT FUCKING ASK FOR THIS#that pisses me off so bad#i didn’t fucking ask to have suicidal thoughts?#sometimes i’ll just choke myself with my dog’s leash as a form of punishment because it just makes me feel good#atp i don’t care if i go too far because it’s not worth it anymore#it just doesn’t feel like life’s worth living#there’s nothing to enjoy or look forward to atp#i just need a friend#i’m so tired of being there for people and then having to turn back to myself when i have an issue because im too cowardly to open up#i’m scared#i don’t have it bad like i don’t know why i feel like this#i have a good life#i’m just being a brat#i dunno
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Monday blues are hitting me hard today
#you can ignore this if you want cause im gonna talk a lot of shit and sads and feelings#but as i’ve realised i literally have no one to empty my heart out to irl#and it’s fucking heartbreaking cause i love my friends but I don’t think they love me back#which is an insane though but I genuinely think it’s true like#i moved away 4 ish months ago and i know that communication comes from both side but like i wanted to test smt#so i stopped texting first and guess what?? only 2 friends texted me#1 because she’s genuinely a good friend i think and the other because she needed money (which i gave her like a fucking fool)#my heart just hurts cause i realised i’m not as important to them as they are to me and I’m completely misreading our relationship and#it sucks because I thought they were going to be my friends for life but now they’re all posting recaps of 2023 and im in none of their pics#even in pics where i was present at the time#and i dont know if it’s intentional or if im just being an insecure little bitch but it fucking hurts#i just want to be important to someone#i want to be someone’s person#not a last resort like#they keep doing stuff together which i get like life moves on and i’m the one that left#but not a single text or a pic or a ‘we miss you!’#not even a fucking heart on insta stories#am i being desperate?? or do I actually have shitty friends#like i have impostor syndrome in my own fucking friendgroup???#I can’t just drop them either cause then I’ll actually have no one#idk i must exude some sort of energy#i dont think ive ever had a genuine good best friend like for some reason they leave after 3 years#(and this is why i have trust issues and attachment disorders)#anyway I’ll probably just suck it up and go about my day#ive lived 24 years like this what’s an entire life#it’s wild cause i have a good time whenever i’m with them (i think) and then i leave and it’s crickets#i feel like hired entertainment sometimes#idk my head hurts so I’m probably overthinking but like these feelings come from somewhere right?#i have to stop
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