#I know I’ll get waken up tomorrow after I sleep for like four hours or something

[toastspirit]

.

[caramel-catss]

god loves you, but not enough to save you

on ao3

word count: 5k

triggers: suicidal thoughts, depression, religion/religious trauma

four times the deities did not answer link's prayers, one time they did; legend character analysis with a focus on him and religion

i.

Link wouldn’t call himself very religious, but he pays his respects to the Golden Three as he should. His uncle taught him his prayers, the nightly ones before bed, the morning ones at breakfast. He told Link, if you’re worried about something, pray to the Goddesses and They will protect you.

And tonight, Link says his prayers as he always does. He sits at the foot of his bed, eyes closed and hands softly curled together, and whispers a thank you to the Three for protecting his family. His uncle is at the table, doing the same, though he won’t be going to bed for a few hours because adults don’t have bedtimes. 

“Mothers Din, Farore, and Nayru,” Link murmurs, eyes closed. “Thank you for more sun today, even though it’s raining now. Uncle and I picked apples but now my arms hurt, and I’m kind of tired of picking them, so could you make it not stop raining tomorrow? Thank you. Um… keep keeping me and my uncle safe, please. Thank you. Goodnight.”

“Are you all done with your prayers, Link?” His uncle smiles from his seat, but he looks tired. Link nods. “Goodnight, then. I’ll be here a while longer. I sense something… off, around here.”

“Goodnight, Uncle!” Link says, unbothered. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Link turns into his covers. Sleeping can be hard sometimes, usually when he’s excited, but it’s okay tonight. His arms still ache a little bit, so he doesn’t mind resting them. He hopes that, tomorrow, his uncle will bake a pie, and he’ll be able to eat more apples than he’ll pick. Thoughts of fresh apple pie in his mind, Link quickly falls asleep.

Help me…

Please help me…

I am a prisoner in the dungeon of the castle. My name is Zelda.

Link wakens with a start, surprised by the words of the girl in his mind. Trapped in the dungeon? The wizard, Agahnim? What was happening? 

Link opens his eyes and turns towards his uncle, who’s looking at him. It’s so late in the night, now, why is he still awake? Did he hear Zelda’s voice, too?

Just as Link opens his mouth to ask, Uncle starts talking. “Link, I’m going out for a while. I’ll be back by morning. Don’t leave the house.”

Uncle gets up and leaves, and Link is left, stunned. No, his uncle can’t go alone, that’s dangerous… but Link’s just a kid, what can he do? 

Slowly, Link picks himself up and walks to the nearby chest. He takes out the lantern inside. Maybe if he goes after his uncle, he could help? Or his uncle would help him, more likely… but either way, he can’t leave Zelda alone! She needs his help, and he can’t just not help her!

More determined, Link leaves the house. It’s still storming outside. Thunder scares him, but just a little. He’ll be okay! He’s brave, and he’s 12 now, so he’s almost a teenager. That’s practically an adult.

Link sneaks behind the castle and tries not to worry about the guards. They’ve always looked a little scary, but now they look so off. He can’t place why. 

Some intuition of his tells him to move a suspicious plant, and oh! An entrance! Link slips into the dungeon.

Link creeps down the hallway, making sure to be slow in case any guards are nearby. A low moan catches his attention, and he turns his head-

“Uncle!” Link gasps, suddenly breaking into a sprint. His uncle lays against the wall, clutching his stomach. He looks up at Link, and Link notices his face wobble for half a second.

“Link…” Uncle coughs up blood, and Link darts to his side. “Gah…”

“Uncle, are you okay!?” Link panics and tries to help cover the gash with part of his uncle’s clothing. He winces at the blood, trying not to feel queasy.

“I didn’t want you involved in this,” Uncle murmurs. “I told you not to leave the house…”

“I-I had to help!” Link cries, trying to hold his uncle closer. He doesn’t know what to do, he can’t breathe- the Goddesses! He’s scared, so he should pray to the Goddesses!

Link closes his eyes and puts his hands together, like he always does in the mornings and before bed. “Please,” he whispers. “Please- please help Uncle be safe…”

“My boy…” Uncle’s hand weakly trails to Link’s shoulder. Link hiccups. He’s trying to look strong, not to cry, but it’s really hard now.

Then, Uncle surprises him by shoving two items into his hands.

“Take my sword and shield and listen.” Uncle’s voice is serious, and he looks at Link dead in the eye. “You can focus power in the blade… then release it using the secret technique handed down by our people…”

Link doesn’t dare breathe, doesn’t dare say anything. But oh, he wants to cry into his uncle’s arms, wants to curl up into him like he did as a child.

Uncle coughs again, and Link can see that he’s fading. Quietly, he thinks another prayer to himself, desperately hoping this one reaches the Goddesses. He can’t die now… please, don’t let him die! I need him! I need his help!

“Link, you can do it!” Uncle makes a small, sad smile. “Save the princess… Zelda is your…”

“...My?” Link whispers, staring.

“...”

It’s quiet.

Link shakes, like how he would when it got dark in the orchard. His lip wobbles. He stares at Uncle, and Uncle doesn’t stare back.

Slowly, Link reaches over and pushes his eyelids closed. Now… now he looks like he’s sleeping…

The Goddesses…

Uncle always said They would protect Link if he prayed to Them. But… he did, and They didn’t answer. They didn’t… protect Uncle…

Link has to force himself to his feet. He tears his eyes away from Uncle, and he tries to forget about him. He tries to forget about everything, except for Zelda. He needs… he needs to rescue her. He has a sword and shield, he can defend himself with those… he’ll be okay…! He’ll be okay.

Link wipes his tears, and he keeps moving.

-

ii.

The Triforce is waiting for a new owner. Its Golden Power is in your hands… Now, touch It with a wish in your heart.

Blood drips from Link’s lip. He wipes at it, carefully, trying not to spill too much. His leg really hurts from when he tripped fighting Ganon, there’s a long gash through his arm, and he feels a little lightheaded.

The Triforce appears before him, golden and glorious. Link can immediately tell It’s just as beautiful as the legends say. An artifact created by the Goddesses. An artifact he’s to wish on, a prize for defeating Ganon…

Link stumbles, catching himself on the wall. A wish… what would he wish for?

For the past few months, all he’s been doing is working towards saving Hyrule… but now Hyrule is safe, isn’t it? What’s waiting for him at home? His uncle is… dead.

The thought only reminds him of Princess Zelda, now without her father. They both lost their family. Would she have to become Queen, now? All alone? Link doesn’t want that for her, he wants her to be okay. He… he wants to be okay, too.

The soldiers, who attacked him, they didn’t deserve to have their minds warped. The people he’s met who have suffered so much under Ganon’s rule… the people who died…

Link takes a deep breath, a wish coming to his mind. He reaches out, gently placing his palms on the Triforce, and whispers.

“I wish… I wish for Hyrule and its people to be restored. Including the king… and my uncle.”

The Triforce glows with holy light, enveloping the entire room. Link bathes in it.

Link runs up to the castle, dashing through the secret entrance to avoid the guards. Both old habit and the soldiers’ occasional attacks keep him doing this. Plus, Uncle won’t let him carry around swords anymore, though he doesn’t know about the knife Link keeps in his boot. It’s there just in case something strikes at him - which has happened, especially around the castle area. It makes Link feel safer.

Zelda has called for him again, a short, personal message through their telepathic connection. Her father, though revived a mere month ago, has fallen ill. The King of Hyrule is known for falling sick often, but Zelda sounded worried, so Link’s going to be there for her. That’s what friends do, right? Zelda is the only person his age that he really knows, and he wants to comfort her.

Dodging around guards and sneaking up to the chambers, Link carefully slips into Zelda’s father’s room. The King of Hyrule lays on his bed, eyes closed, shakily breathing. Zelda sits by his side. Hearing Link enter, she looks up.

“Link!” Zelda smiles. She looks tired. Link closes the door behind him and rushes over.

“Hi,” Link replies. He pauses, debating if he should bow to the King or not when he’s like this, but Zelda takes his hand before he can decide.

Zelda pulls him into a hug. “Thanks for being here,” she murmurs.

Link doesn’t really know what to say, doesn’t know how to feelings, so he replies, “Yeah.”

“Father isn’t feeling well again,” Zelda pulls back, frowning. “...Worse than his usual cough.”

The King coughs beside her, as if on cue. Link’s eyebrows furrow.

“The Triforce should have made him all better,” he murmurs. “How is he so sick already?”

“I don’t know,” Zelda replies. She moves back to her father, placing her hands on his shoulder. “But he said he wanted to talk to you… something he had to say, in case… something happens to him.”

“Oh,” Link says. Because, oh.

“Father,” Zelda whispers, tapping the King. “Link is here to speak to you.”

The king wheezes, cracking his eyes open and looking at Link. He looks old, older than he usually does. He pushes himself up, reaching out to Link.

“Link, my boy,” The king murmurs, his voice hoarse. He sounds very, very sick. “There is something you must know…”

Link takes off his hat and holds to his chest, walking closer to the king. “Yes, your highness?”

“You are…” He breaks off with another cough, hyacking for a second before continuing. “Link, you are my son…”

“What?” Link blinks. To his side, Zelda gasps.

“I…” The king frowns, eyes moving to Zelda. “You and Zelda… half-siblings… I am sorry, daughter…”

“Father, don’t overexert yourself!” Zelda’s voice is shrouded in worry.

“I-I don’t-” Link stutters, surprised. Half-siblings with Zelda? Wouldn’t that make him…

“You were sent to live with your uncle,” The king starts again. “Your mother’s status… you could not live as a royal.”

Link gapes. Did… did Uncle know about this? He… would have to, wouldn’t he?

“I am… so proud, Link. My… son.” The king smiles, then closes his eyes again, taking a shaky breath.

“I…” Link blinks, and he can find no words.

“Father, wait, don’t sleep yet!” Zelda lightly shakes her (their?) father, panic rising in her voice. “The medic said you should stay awake…”

Link backs up, slowly. His hat falls to the floor. This room, it’s suddenly too small, and he needs to run and get out. Every time he panics, it’s been because something has wanted to attack him, kill him. Link pats around himself until he finds his boot, kicking it against the ground and grabbing his dagger. He holds it close - just for comfort, he needs something to fight with when they come and attack him - but his hands are shaking too much and he drops it on the floor with a loud clang.

Zelda’s head whips around just as Link is grabbing it again. Her gaze softens.

“Link,” she murmurs. “You should go… we can… talk about this later, okay? Just… take your time.”

Link nods. He feels dizzy as he runs out of the room, following his route out of the castle as fast as he can. The woods aren’t safe, but nowhere inside is safe either, and he runs around until he finds himself sitting on the roof of his house.  He stays there for some hours, hugging his knees and rocking back and forth.

That night, the king passes away, leaving behind more questions than answers. Link’s uncle doesn’t answer them well. He only finds out that his mother died years ago and that Uncle was only to tell him about his bloodline as an adult. Link feels lost.

Link and Zelda do not talk about it. Zelda closes her doors to grieve after her father’s death, and Link, who never knew him, has no idea how to help. He begins to feel antsy at home, unsure what to do with his life.

And then, Uncle falls sick.

It’s the same sickness the king had, the one the palace medic could not find a cure to. 

He passes away in the middle of the night. Just like how he did a year ago.

The Triforce did not save him. The Triforce did not save the King of Hyrule. Link prayed for them both, experienced them alive again for a short few months, and then they died again. His wishes… were they really answered?

Link decides that he needs time away from Hyrule, from his kingdom which hurts too much to live inside. He tells Zelda he’s leaving to train, something short, a couple months at most. She asks if he’ll be back before her coronation next spring, and he says he will.

She sees him off before he sails away. 

“I pray for your safe return, brother,” Zelda says. It’s the first time she’s called him that, but he’s focused on the word ‘pray��; it stings him in a way that surprises him.

“...Thank you, sister. I’ll be home soon,” Link replies. And he doesn’t think he will, but he hopes that at least he’ll arrive back before her coronation.

-

iii.

Crash!

“Shit!” Link pulls harder on the rope, trying to keep his boat in control. He’s been on the water for a few hours, setting out early this morning after leaving an abandoned island he’d spent a week exploring. He had no idea there was a storm up ahead, or he would’ve stayed another day or two.

A wave crashes into the side of Link’s small ship, sending the entire thing rocking and nearly throwing Link overboard. His boots lose traction. He slips to the ground, hitting his arm, and he yelps in pain.

Scrambling back up, Link grips his hands harder on the rope. They hurt with how tightly he’d already been holding them. He’s absolutely drenched, which doesn’t help with his grip. Lightning crashes right by him, thankfully in the water, making Link gasp. He tries not to scramble to the other side. He’d lose any control of the thing he has left.

Thunder booms across the sky. Link pulls as hard as he can, trying to stay afloat. He closes his eyes, and despite himself, cries something in desperation.

“If there’s anyone out there that can help me… please! Please, Goddesses!”

He almost doesn’t realize that he said it. It’s still a bit of a second nature to him, though he kind of stopped praying when his uncle first died. Link falters a second as his mind drifts to that, but it’s a second too long. A bright flash lights up Link’s boat, and for half a second, he lifts his head before the lightning strikes him and the world goes black.

Link opens his eyes and gasps, expecting there to be no air. But no, he’s in a… bed? Where’s his ship? Why’s he in a room?

Link shoots upwards, darting his eyes around in a rabbit’s panic, looking for his kidnappers. He spots them quickly - a girl dressed in blue, and a man with a handkerchief tied around his neck. His hand reaches for his arm, ready to grab his backup-backup dagger, but he finds nothing there. They disarmed, him, too!-

“What a relief!” The girl’s voice stuns him and sends him out of his panic. Link stares at her, stupidly, unsure what to ask her first.

“I thought you’d never wake up!” She continues, smiling. Link squints at her as she speaks, realizing she looks familiar. “You were tossing and turning…”

“Zelda?” Link interrupts, wiping his eyes. This girl’s hair is styled just like his sister’s, but as soon as the words leave his mouth, he feels like an idiot.

“What? Zelda?” The girl laughs. “No, my name’s Marin! You must still be feeling a little woozy.”

“...Sorry,” Link mumbles. “Uh… where am I?”

Marin’s eyes brighten. “You are on Koholint Island!”

Link nods. He pushes himself out of bed, combing his fingers through his hair to find that it isn’t messy. Come to think of it, he’s all dry, and he doesn’t smell like saltwater. Okay, so not kidnappers.

“Do you… have my things?” Link asks. Wow, since when was he so awkward?

“Um… if you follow the lane south, you’ll reach the beach where I found you,” Marin replies. “I think Tarin has your shield, though.”

“Thanks,” Link nods. He starts to walk over to the other man, but Marin suddenly speaks up again.

“S-since you washed ashore, lots of nasty monsters have been in the area, so… um… be careful, okay?” Marin looks a bit embarrassed.

Link blinks. He can count the amount of people who tell him to be careful on one hand, so he doesn’t know how to reply. “Y… Yeah, I will.” 

Marin smiles, relieved. Link collects his shield from Tarin, and he waves goodbye to the two on his way out. Koholint is a bright, sunny island, and the air feels so fresh compared to Hyrule’s. It instantly puts Link in a good mood, and he smiles as he jogs down to the beach. Maybe the Goddesses did answer his prayer this time! 

As Link grabs his sword from the beach, he’s still smiling. He grins even as an owl shows up and starts to speak at him, quickly becoming an annoyance. Other than the bird, this island is perfect! Everything here is perfect! He could get used to this, really.

…In hindsight, he really should have realized it was too perfect.

-

iv.

The Wind Fish is glorious, in the way only a deity could be. He floats above Link, one eye turned to him, expression set in stone. Link tries not to wobble under his gaze. He’s still shaking from fighting the Nightmare, from seeing Agahnim and Ganon and they can’t be here and he can’t move-

Link takes a deep breath, the way that Marin showed him, counting to ten before he releases it. He locks eyes with the Wind Fish. Can He notice Link wobble, Link pressing back tears already? Link tries to press back all of his anxieties. He has a wish to make.

“I AM THE WIND FISH…” His voice booms, hurting Link’s ears. “LONG HAS BEEN MY SLUMBER…”

“Wind Fish,” Link murmurs, cutting His speech short. He almost thinks the deity hasn’t heard him, but the Wind Fish pauses. “I… may I make a wish to You?”

“WHAT DO YOU WISH, CHILD?”

In. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Out.

Link sinks to his knees. He curls his fists together in front of him, bows his head, and sniffs. For this wish… he will have to beg, to offer all of himself for anything, any bit of mercy. He is fully prepared to do so.

“This island…” Link whispers. “It is beautiful, with beautiful people. People who don’t… deserve to die. I-I… I wish for the island’s safety… I wish for Koholint to be real. Marin, of Mabe Village, she wants to see the world. She wants to leave. She wished to You, Wind Fish, please grant it. Please, please, save these people. Your people. Even if… even if you only save Marin… I’ll give my life for her freedom. Just… please…”

“BOY.” The Wind Fish’s mouth does not move. His face remains neutral. But Link… Link can feel the anger. “YOU ARE THE MESSENGER OF AWAKENING… YOU CHOOSE TO WAKE ME, KNOWING THE FATE OF KOHOLINT…”

“I-” Link’s eyes fill with tears. This isn’t fair- what he’s saying- it’s not fair, he couldn’t do anything else- “I g-got the instruments for you! I h-helped the residents for you! I-I followed everything the owl told me… please…!”

“I HAVE AWOKEN… WHEN THE DREAMER WAKES, THE DREAM ENDS…”

“No!” Link gasps. “Please, no, I just want her to live!-”

“LINK… IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP!”

The dream fades around him, and Link can do nothing but watch it all crumble away. He can vaguely hear the instruments play around him, can only choke when the water hits him suddenly and throws him upwards. Light blinds him.

Link awakens, and he is alone.

The first thing he feels is the board slipping under him, and he gasps, heaving himself further on top of it. He coughs up saltwater, throws it back up into the ocean. His eyes sting, his stomach aches with hunger and thirst, and his head hurts so badly. He clings onto the raft harder.

Link glances around, and his lips wobble. Koholint is gone. Marin is gone. He failed. Again, he failed. His lower lip wobbles.

Link’s tears turn to sobs. He hiccups, his rabbit heart beating fast, and he can’t even try the breathing exercise without remembering who taught him it and crying harder. Why do the gods hate him? Why can’t They protect what he loves? Hasn’t he done so much for Them!?

A roar sounds, the call of a whale, and Link sees the shadow cover him. He looks up. The Wind Fish flies through the sky, on His way to His next victim. Link shakes. His teeth grit together. He grabs the raft as hard as he can, his knuckles turning white, and he screams. He screams so loud that the horrid God will have to hear him, have to hear his agony, his anger.

The Wind Fish will have to understand what He’s done to him, what He did to that entire island. Link screams so the Wind Fish will understand pain, will understand his suffering, will see everything He’s done, he hates Him, he hates that he’s been used, he hates everything he’s done for Gods who do nothing in return, Koholint is dead, Marin is dead, and Link’s voice hurts, and maybe he’ll drown, and maybe he’ll meet her again if he does, and maybe he wishes for that instead!

Link screams until his voice is hoarse, until the Wind Fish is but a speck far away. His nails dig into the wood. Splinters line his fingers, and he can’t bring himself to care. He can’t breathe through his nose, and his mouth is so dry, and it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore.

Link lays back on the raft, trying to position himself in a way that makes his back hurt the least, chronic pain be damned. Another result of all he’s done for deities. He closes his eyes, takes in a shaky breath. He hopes - not prays, hopes - that a ship will pick him up, because he knows Marin would be upset if he died here. But at the same time, he hopes he falls off the raft and drowns.

The world is so, so cruel.

-

+

Link gives up on deities, damn Them all, for the next 5 years.

He does not pray. He saves the Oracles but avoids any religious discussion with them. And depending on who he’s with, he’ll openly heckle and mock the Three. He holds off around Zelda, though, out of respect for his sister.

Link ends up not making it to Zelda’s coronation. Not by a long shot - after being wrapped up with the Oracles, he arrives home a grand total of three years after he set off. Two and a half years since Zelda became queen. Enough time that most of the kingdom thought he was dead.

That’s fine, he ends up spending more than enough time at home to make up for it. Arriving back at an empty house makes him realize what he was running away from in the first place. Suddenly, the deaths of Uncle, Marin, and so many others hit him with full force.

Link does not leave his house for nearly a year. Most of the time, he doesn’t even get out of bed.

He dreams. He dreams about Marin, he dreams about Uncle, he dreams about worlds when maybe he was favored by the holy beings he works for. There’s nothing else to life for him. He’s tired of adventuring. He can’t spend time in Hyrule without feeling sick. The apple orchard is dying from neglect.

And then Zelda appears, drags him out of bed, and makes him do something with himself. She shows up and takes care of the house. Then, she convinces him to get out of bed and go on walks with her. She tries to get him to take care of the orchard, but it hurts too much to look at. The last time he stepped foot inside it was the day his uncle died.

Within the next few months, Link slowly gets back on his feet. He refuses to come live at the castle, so Zelda works out a blacksmithing apprenticeship for him. But Link still finds himself oversleeping, clinging onto dreams. Gulley has to wake him up in a rush sometimes. But he’s making progress, so he focuses on that.

Before Link knows it, what little of his life that he’s picked back up and carefully pieced together is shattered again. Apparently, it had been decided that his time to recover was up, and he becomes the Hero of Legend again when another world’s sorcerer infiltrates into his own.

And Ravio. The purple-clad merchant infiltrates Link’s home and heart, too. While Link is less than thrilled about his prices, the fact of someone else living in the house brings him more comfort than he’d ever think it would. Also, Ravio… Ravio has this effect on Link that only Marin had before. Link’s not sure how to feel about it.

Link ventures through dungeons with a practiced ease. He lets Ravio rent out items to him that he really already owns, but what’s the harm in Link having a soft spot for him? Except for the harm in his bank account, of course…

Lorule is like the Dark World, just less shitty. Link isn’t stuck to a useless form there, either, which he doesn’t mind. He keeps his moon pearl on him anyways. Just in case.

Before long, Link comes face-to-face with Yuga. He tries not to freeze when he becomes Ganon. He gets thrown into walls, beaten up as a painting, but he finally drives his sword into the beast’s skull a final time.

Hilda’s story moves him. Ravio’s story moves him. He understands. He understands how the Triforce failed them.

But when Link stands before the Triforce a second time, this time with Zelda, he chokes up at the thought of wishing on it.

Zelda notices him, and places her hand on his shoulder. He takes a shaky breath.

“Link…” she murmurs. “This… this is a chance… I understand our reservations, especially yours…”

“It won’t fix anything,” Link’s voice cracks. He doesn’t even know what he’ll wish for, but he knows It won’t.

“We have to try,” Zelda says. “The Triforce… It was created to make miracles happen. Lorule needs a miracle. If we want to bring back their holy power… we’d need another one to do that.”

Link realizes now, realizes what she’s talking about. And he wants to yell, to kick the sacred triangles in anger. How fucking unfair was it that the fate of an entire kingdom was in the hands of one magical artifact? How the destruction of It, even with good intention, ruined all the life in Lorule? Ravio and Hilda - they are good people! They don’t deserve to live in a dying, suffering world all because one fucking piece of the Goddesses is gone!

“Breathe, Link.” Zelda’s voice calms him, and he realizes he’s been hyperventilating. “You don’t have to wish if you don’t want to… I can do it.”

“I-I…” Link stutters. He thinks about Ravio. The pain he’s been through to get Link to this moment. It’s not fair of Link to abandon Ravio’s hope for his land, after all Ravio has done… he owes him. “...I’ll wish.”

“Okay,” Zelda replies, pensive. She’s in her own conflict of emotions right now. Link wishes he could help her. “...Together?”

“Together,” Link agrees.

The two place their hands on the Triforce.

Link wishes for the restoration of Lorule’s Triforce, for the sake of the Loruleian people. He wishes that for once, if the Goddesses will listen to him just this once, that They will help Lorule. He can’t let another nation die. He can’t. If he’ll never see Lorule restored, then so be it. He wants nothing for himself from this. He just wants, with all his soul, for Lorule to live.

Lorule’s Triforce is restored, and it stays.

Link doesn’t know how to feel about it.

He first hears about it when Hilda and Zelda open the barrier between their worlds again. Lorule, while still climbing out of their dark ages, is experiencing the light for the first time in centuries. It’s beautiful, they say.

For once, for once in his blessed-damned life, his wish came true. This wish, this prayer… only came true after Link swore he would gain nothing.

Link is the Hero of Legend. His sworn, sacred duty is to carry out the Goddess’ will. He… he is owed nothing by Them. They see him as the Hero. Nothing more. Undeserving of receiving blessings himself.

The thought makes him sick.

Link continues to fight. He continues to be the Hero, continues to adventure, because it’s all he is worth.

And he never, ever prays again.