#I know I wasn’t. I was reading like… book club books + Percy Jackson in middle school

[ssruis]

hi I'm also fourteen but i think no one reads those books anymore...

Conflicting facts coming in on the wimpy kid debate. I guess we’ll never know!

[xztloux]

I have literally just gotten into the Percy Jackson series a few hours ago after pulling an all nighter for a project, I had it playing while I work bro the second I saw Hades I was frothing at the mouth..I am very sleep deprived rn Lmao

If it’s good with you, can we get some Yan/Dark Hades stalking his lovely mortal who works at a museum (or is a college student there on a trip), they are quite the quiet person (perhaps they get picked on for that quietness) but gets a bit bold as they defend Hades after hearing some people talk badly of him? Hades falls hard for the mortal and follows them around, being a bit dulu?

I did read over your rules and If I had somehow missed one and wrote it into my request I’m incredibly sorry!

Take your time and thank you very much! Have fun and change anything if you want :>

-💀🍝

We twinin’ with the dyslexia wooo

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↳˗ˏˋ Dark Hades ˊˎ˗ ↴

▸ content warnings: none? I don’t think

▸ summary: Your trip at the museum turns into something much more life changing

▸ A/N: my Greek mythology is really rusty so I’m sorry if I got stuff wrong. also added my own opinion on a certain god. (Zeus hate club right here). Sorry if it’s really bad and short it’s literally 5am for me 😭❣️ I LOVED WRITING THIS SM SO THANK YOU. literally love this person

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Your Professor had booked a day out, to help you class with the upcoming test. Your major was Greek mythology, you loved it, ever part of it. The hero’s, the gods (most of them anyway). Of course you didn’t know the gods actually existed. There were a couple of people in the class who loved it as much as you, sadly most were there cause they thought it would be an easy pass. You had this stern looking tour guide that was to accompany your class throughout the day.

Eventually everyone stopped in front of one of the statues, Hades. One of your personal favourites. The stern looking tour guide eventually asked the question. :

“Does anyone know who the most ‘hated’ God was?”

He of course asked this to see if anybody would go with the obvious answer. He pointed his pen at one of the blonde haired girls.

“Um Hades right? He’s like..the god of the underworld and stuff..” She replied shrugging slightly. Hades himself was actually there, from time to time he’d slip into his mortal form and visit the museums to see how blissfully unaware humans were. Of course he heard what the blonde bimbo had said and honestly? He was use to it. You then watched as your professor leaned in and whispered something to the tour guide.

The stern looking tour guide nodded quickly before pointing his pen at you. “You. Tell me what you think.” His expression seemed to never damn change. See your professor was the ‘tough love’ type. He knew you knew the material but he wanted you to be proud about it and not afraid to show off that you know the answer.

“Um…most think hades but..um he was actually one of the best. He hardly cheated on his wife, he doesn’t really care for Olympus. He’s happy with his wife and the underworld. In my personal opinion.. I’d say the most hated would be Zeus..” As you spoke about your own opinion, you caught the attention of hades. Now..he hadn’t expected to hear that answer. He’d be a liar if he said your voice wasn’t the prettiest he’d ever heard.

Hell, he even found himself following your group around just so he could hear your voice more, and your opinions more. This god fell for you, and he fell hard.

It’s been a couple weeks since the museum visit and he’d been stalking you to put it bluntly. Of course he couldn’t always be in his mortal form so, from time to time, he’d check up on you from the underworld. Gods he was obsessed with you.

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

reader, i [kissed] him | Choi San

summary: you have a dumb rude rich dad who hired a bodyguard because he's paranoid...enter choi san who is literally the man dreams are made of but he works for you so that's weird. you're a lit student and you've been giving him book recs. warnings: absent/sucky dad, mention of papercuts, a few minor jane eyre spoilers?, storm, fire

You look up at the sound of a book shutting. San pulls his glasses off and rubs his eyes. “Finished,” he says.

You shut your textbook. “What did you think of the series?”

He leans back in a stretch. “You were right,” he admits. “Percy Jackson is pretty meaningful for a kids’ story.” He replaces his glasses, smiling at you. “So what’s next for the book club?”

You chuckle. “Are you enjoying my reading assignments?”

“Honestly, yeah. I can’t believe I’m getting paid to read books with you,” he says. “There are literally no downsides.”

“You’re getting paid to protect me,” you correct, a teasing smile playing about your lips. “Keep an eye on these books. They’re notorious for giving me paper cuts.”

“I will personally destroy any book who dares to mess with your fingers,” he vows dramatically, and you laugh. “But seriously, are you done studying for the day or do I get another reading assignment?” 

“I still have a bit of work to do,” you say, pulling out your copious notes. “So you get another hour or so to read. Don’t you want to choose one?”

He shakes his head. “Nah,” he says. “I’d rather live inside your head for awhile. Why? Did you run out of books?”

You make a mock-offended face. “Absolutely not,” you say. “I just wanted to give you the option to read what you want to read, instead of what I want you to read.”

“What you want me to read is what I want to read,” he tells you, standing up. “Now, lay it on me.”

“Jane Eyre,” you say. “It’ll be in the B section.”

You watch as his broad shoulders retreat into the library shelves, admiring the muscles clearly visible underneath his tight black shirt. Shaking your head, you turn back to your studies, reminding yourself that ogling your bodyguard is a fruitless and unnecessary activity that will not help you pass your college classes.

He takes a seat shortly afterward, holding up the copy of Jane Eyre. “Why this one?” he asks — his constant question before he reads any of your suggestions. 

“Well,” you say carefully, “it’s actually…my favorite.”

His eyes get wide. “This book is your favorite?” he asks, pointing to the gray cover. 

You nod. “My absolute favorite, of all time, ever.”

“I thought you were gonna save your favorite for graduation,” he says. “Why are you moving it forward in the queue?”

“Because I feel our friendship will remain intact even if you don’t like it,” you say. “I wasn’t sure for awhile there.”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Are you saying you’ll still love me even if I don’t like your favorite book?” he asks with a glint of humor in his eyes.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” you say. “Although it’d be hard for me. This book is a must-read if you hope to understand anything about me.”

He leans back, opening the book to the first page. “Then I don’t see how I couldn’t like it,” he says. “I don’t know why you were worried. Brief summary?”

“Terrible childhood, brooding gentleman, house with a dark secret, romance.” His eyes stay on you as you list the themes. Then suddenly your phone buzzes. You look at it and make a face.

“Your dad?” San guesses.

You nod, answering the call. “Hello?” you say in trepidation.

“Where are you?” he barks. 

“At the library at school,” you say, trying to keep a calm tone. “I’m studying.”

“Good,” he says gruffly. “Is San with you?” 

You sigh quietly. “Yes,” you say. 

“Perfect. I’ll be gone the next few days for a trip. Don’t call.”

“Okay, I won’t,” you promise, hanging up.

“What happened?” San asks immediately. “Was he unkind?”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “No more than usual,” you reply. “He’s going out of town and wanted to make sure I knew not to call.”

San’s jaw clenches briefly, before turning his attention back to the book in his hand. “So why is this book your favorite?”

You consider him for a moment. You know a major motivation for him to ask you this question is to distract you from thoughts of your father, but he nonetheless looks earnest, so you answer honestly. “The book is written from the point of view of a young woman whose frank honesty is pretty inspiring. She doesn’t extol her virtues or edit out her failings. And it’s a story of how she comes into her own and finds herself. I don’t know, it’s just compelling.”

He gives you a large, dimpled smile -- that smile that stops the world, that makes you want to give him everything he ever wanted. “She sounds like you,” he says.

You blush. “Well, I haven’t found myself yet,” you say. “I’m still looking.”

“You might not be perfect yet,” he admonishes, “but you know yourself well. Now get back to studying or else we’ll be here all night.”

You can’t help but smile softly to yourself as you turn back to your books.

***

Later that night, you’re alone in your room with a candle burning, the window open to the cool night air. Your father’s large house is quiet, and you thumb through your personal copy of Jane Eyre, remembering how when you and San had left the library, he insisted on checking it out. “It’s your favorite,” he’d said, confused, when you asked him why. 

You smile in spite of yourself once again, thinking about how all the things you want feel just out of your reach. You have family — but they aren’t close. You have money — but no ability to use it due to your father’s curmudgeonly nature. And here is the perfect man — silly, intelligent, handsome, and the kindest person you’ve ever known, and yet he works for you. That is a line you know it would be unfair to him to try to cross, especially with a father like you have. 

Lost in thought, you slip on your favorite blue nightgown. Perhaps tonight, with the chill air on your skin, you’ll wander the halls of the house with your candle just like the secret Mrs. Rochester herself. You even consider going down the hall to where San sleeps to see if he’s made it to that part yet, but stop yourself when you realize just how inappropriate that would look. Instead, you sink into your bed and stare at the ceiling, urging sleep to come and whisk you away into a dream world that is hopefully happier than the one in which you live. 

You have scarcely closed your eyes when the rumble of thunder wakes you. The open window is swinging dangerously on its hinges as a storm rages outside. You shriek as rain begins pelting the carpet, and hop up to shut the window. With the sound of the storm now muffled, you try to flick on the bedside lamp, but either the bulb is burnt out or you’ve lost power. You go to the main light and flip the switch — nothing. You sigh. It’s about to be very cold.

Just then there’s a knock at the door, making you jump. You crack it open to see San, in his pajamas, holding a candle. “Everything okay in there?” he asks you. “I heard a scream.”

“Yeah, I just forgot to close the window before I fell asleep, and then the storm started,” you say sheepishly. “Sorry to wake you.”

He shrugs. “It’s okay,” he says. His eyes travel down your body, taking in the sight of you in your nightgown. Goosebumps erupt on your arms, and he notices right away. “Are you cold?”

You shiver. “Uh, yeah,” you say. 

He smiles. “Your dad’s sitting room has a fireplace. Let’s go.”

“Won’t he be mad?” you say, even as you step out of your bedroom with a blanket. 

“He’ll never even know,” San assures you. Minutes later, you are sitting on a couch with a blazing fire in front of you, blankets tucked around you as San leans his back against the couch, looking proudly at the fire he made. 

You adjust the strap of your nightgown, looking at him shyly. “Thanks,” you say.

He smiles in reply. “So, Jane’s quite the heroine,” he says, shouting you a glance.

You smile. “How far did you get?”

“I’m at the part where the fortune teller talks to the party guests.”

Your eyes get wide. “What? That’s pretty far.”

“It’s pretty good,” he says earnestly. “I’ve always wanted a little girl like Adele.”

“Pretty?” you ask him.

He grins. “Spoiled,” he says. “Although I’d be sweeter to her than Mr. Rochester is.”

“I’ll bet you would. What do you think about Mr. Rochester so far?”

He shrugs. “Probably similarly to how most people in his life feel. He’s a mysterious man. I don’t think I trust him.”

“Can I give you a tiny spoiler,” you beg, and he laughs. 

“I think I am contractually forbidden to say no to you,” he says, “and also, yes, as long as it isn’t major.”

You lean forward, nearly whispering to him. “The next bit is some of the spookiest stuff in the book.”

You move your legs to give him room on the couch as he stands up to sit next to you. “Am I gonna get scared?” he asks. 

“You’re a bodyguard. Aren’t you supposed to be brave?” you tease.

He scoffs. “Being brave isn’t about not being scared. It’s about facing the fear.”

You nod, impressed. “Ah, how well-said. You know, for a bodyguard, you’re quite eloquent.”

“And for a pretentious academic, you’re quite down-to-earth,” he teases. “However, I will say that you don’t strike me as someone who’s scared of much.”

You think for a moment. “I suppose I’m not,” you say slowly, “although it isn’t quite that simple. I do have anxiety.”

“What’s the difference?” he asks, sounding genuinely curious. 

“I’m not scared of spiders or the dark or storms or even dying, necessarily. But any one of those things could make me overthink myself into full-on panic. I got bitten by a spider and it made me so anxious that I was convinced I would die every night.”

He nods, thinking, his eyes twinkling in the firelight. “What does it feel like for you?” he asks softly.

“Like a weight on my chest,” you respond immediately. “Sometimes it’s so bad I can hardly breathe.”

You have to turn away as he looks at you. His expression is so compassionate you are afraid that his empathy will pick up on the very real feelings you have for him. He asks a new question. “And joy — what does that feel like?”

You look at him, eyebrows raised. He raises both his hands in an innocent gesture. “You have such colorful descriptions,” he says. “I just want to get a little deeper into your headspace. It’ll probably help me do my job better.”

You shoot him a skeptical glance before giving in. “Joy feels like…the first step out the door when the air starts to turn cold and crisp for fall. It’s like something new but also so familiar.” You think about the feeling you get every time he smiles. “It’s…expansive. And warm.” You turn to him. “What about you?”

His eyes widen in surprise to have been asked. “Oh. Um…” he thinks for a second, and a slow smile spreads across his face. “Joy feels like music to me, like the best part of your favorite song.”

“Beautiful,” you say, smiling back at him. “And fear? What does that feel like?”

“Being trapped. No freedom,” he says. He hesitates before he asks the next question. “And…love?”

You blush. “Love isn’t an emotion,” you protest, looking away from him. “Love is a verb. It’s an action.”

“You’re right,” he allows, “but it comes with a very specific feeling. How does that feel? For you?”

You look up at him, finally, unable to look away. “That’s one I’m not sure about.” You force yourself to ask what you don’t want to know — because he’s a little older than you, and has lived a whole life apart from you, a life that must have involved the whole spectrum of human emotion and loss and love, but to hear of him falling in love is too much — “Maybe if you describe it, I’ll recognize it.”

He opens his mouth, then pauses, searching your face before smiling bemusedly. “It’s…it’s this heat, everywhere,” he says. “Almost like you’re being lit up like a candle from the inside, almost like if someone were to really look at you, they’d be able to see light coming from every part of you, even…even underneath your fingernails.”

Your heart nearly stops as you realize he’s describing almost perfectly how it feels for you to be around him. You swallow nervously before replying. “It sounds…intense.”

He chuckles. “It is.” And then he does something so unexpected that you gasp. He leans in and catches your cheek in his hand. “When I’m around you,” he says, and his voice is shaking, “it sometimes feels like I might explode — it’s like you are firelight, filling up all the parts of me that used to be empty, and then some. I’m surprised you can’t see my veins from the outside, because I swear to God, I can feel you lighting them up. You’re everywhere.”

He gently brings your face forward so your lips are practically touching. “Everywhere,” he whispers once more, before closing the gap and kissing you. 

He pulls you into his lap as he does, cradling you in his arms, and you have to hold on to his shirt for dear life as you kiss him back. When he finally pulls back slightly, pressing his forehead to yours, he asks you quietly, “this, what does this feel like for you?”

You consider, touching his face with your fingertips as his eyes bore into your own. He looks positively desperate to know. After awhile you answer. “All the voices that are usually shouting at me in my head are suddenly very quiet.”

“And that’s…good?” he asks intently.

“It’s…more than good,” you admit with a blush.

“Do you want me to keep going?” he says, and his voice is breathless, his chest heaving.

“More than anything.”

He smiles, kissing you again. 

[oriocookie]

percy jackson fic list

as soon as this list gets too big, itll separate into smaller, more specific categories

masterlist

A School Thrives off of Rumors and Gossip by the_fandoms_have_risen

Percy was different it only made sense that people would talk about it.

confessions of a drive-thru employee by thelordofshrimp for buoyantsaturn

a block down the street from DOA Records is a coffee shop. the mess spills over.

inspired by twenty four seven, i hate my love for you by buoyantsaturn! i was not allowed to say this was inspired by a series so i just linked to the first part. read that before this, or else this will make no sense and you, like our narrator, will be grasping at straws

The Overwhelming Specter of Your Mothers Book Club by 60sec400

Martha Blofis stared at her son in shock. “What do you mean,” she said slowly, “that you’re married?” Her son fidgeted nervously. First, he ran a hand through his peppered hair, and then his eyes flickered down and away. Then he lifted them again and smiled meekly at her. “Paul,” she said, “I need you to tell me what in gods name you were thinking.” “Her name is Sally Jackson?” Paul said, his voice lifting as he weren’t quite sure what the name of his wife was.

AKA Paul tells his mother he hasn't seen in four years that he's married. Really, the only thing she can think about is what she's going to tell her boook club.

crush crush crush by skyekingsleigh

Claire is new, and she's crushing on Percy hard. Only, he's "unavailable." Whatever that means.

through mortal eyes by ysavalkyrie (orphan_account)

Cassandra Fabroa was paired with Will Solace on their final project for Latin class.

She was very grateful. Not only because Cass had noticed that Will was really educated on that particular subject (he was top of that class too) but Will Solace was also hot.

Really hot.

percy jackson and the scrutiny of his coworkers by pqrker

Jim turned back to the tank and looked at Marcie the seal, who was now staring at the spot his coworker had been standing just moments before with that same strange look of reverence in her eyes.

Percy Jackson truly was the oddest person Jim Elpool had ever worked with.

or

5 times percy's coworkers were confounded by his fish magic, plus 1 time they try to figure it out

the jackson files by Ideasofmarch

Makin’ pancakes @makinbaconpancakes Does anyone know who the fuck Percy Jackson is???

Oranges are spicy @ronaldmcd Whomst?

Makin’ pancakes @makinbaconpancakes Check rachel dares insta story

Oranges are spicy @ronaldmcd k

Oranges are spicy @ronaldmcd Okay somebody find out who this kid is right damn now.

-

Rachel Elizabeth Dare posts a video of Percy on her instagram story. it all just spirals from there.

Someone to You by mrthology

Anna wasn't sure what to think of Percy Jackson, truth be told, having only met him twice. She adored her daughter in law Sally and her little granddaughter, but there was something about Percy that put her on edge. She had no idea what - he was a kind boy, eager to help with his baby sister when most teenagers would run for the hills and clearly adored his mother - but there was just something about him, something about his too-bright eyes that made her feel uneasy.

~~~

Or, Paul's parents are taking care of Estelle for a few days. When picking her up, they meet Percy again as well as his older brother (what was his name? Tri?). At this point, Anna just wants to know what the dad looks like to have kids that look like THIS. Especially when, several days later, they meet the stepmother as well.

the kids are all hopped up and ready to go by SammiPhoenix

Annabeth was fighting for her life, for the fate of the entire world, and her soulmate was singing the duck song. “A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man, running the stand, ‘hey,’ bam, bam, bum, ‘got any grrrrrrrrapes?’” - - - - Annabeth doesn't try to find her soulmate, they find her.

etched on skin by unsureavenger

After Long Island is struck by ancient magic, Annabeth finds that broken sentences start to appear on her wrist; the thoughts of her soulmate. And she isn't the only one.

To Feel at Home by aMantaRay

There were a few stipulations, of course. Come up to make it look like he was breathing every once in a while, maybe appear a little wet in the water, and maybe, just maybe, let the other kids win every once in a while.

He smiled slightly at the thought, stepping out of the locker room, parka draped comfortably over his shoulders, arms not through the sleeves. Nah, today he’d win. It was the final meet before nationals and he wanted to compete.

After the war, Percy finally has a chance to feel a little bit normal.

The Baffling Transcontinental Road Trip of Percy Jackson by CassandraStarflower

“This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we cover the case of Percy Jackson.”

Start Over by RainKiss

Mr. Morelli is not a nervous person by character, but the file in front of him gives the scholastic transgressions of the new kid, who has been allowed to attend Goode High school—the place where he works.

Long Time No Sword-Fight? by ACrazyCooki

Annabeth decides to visit Percy at Goode Highschool. However, a video of them sparring is leaked to the entire school.

Get to Know You Better by the_seaworthy_muffin

If Paul may say so himself, he thinks he’s getting better at all this demigod business. * Or: Percy is struggling in the aftermath of the Pit, and Paul tries to help. Hilarity, Angst, and heaps of Family Feels ensue. A (Step) father-son bonding fic.

The Flood by Hazel652

A flood at Goode High causes Percy to explain the truth about his identity to Paul. Paul and Sally have an important talk.

The Boyfriend by Roselightfairy

The cliche: Annabeth's private-school friend finds out that Annabeth has a boyfriend. The twist: This mortal already knows Percy Jackson, from long ago.

Witnesses by Roselightfairy

Percy and Annabeth probably thought they were being subtle, but everyone knew about them even before they did. These are their "moments" from the perspectives of the people who just happened to be watching.

[hopepaigeturner]

🎄Giftmas Day 6: Subscription Service--Philoise

Modern AU set about three years after the events of Six Days and Six Poems. But you dont have to read them to understand anything here. (Check them out on AO3 username: xxHope_Paige_Turner_99xx)

El recieves a book subscription from Benophie and starts chatting to another recipetant--@PlantDaddy01.

*~*~*~*~*

Christmas: Foreword

“What the?”

Eloise slipped open the envelope to find a little notecard.

Rare Birds Book Club: Welcome Aboard.

“It’s a book subscription service,” Sophie explained snuggled in Benedict’s arms. “Monthly, you get two anonymous blurbs to choose from, then it arrives all wrapped up to ensure it is a surprise!” Sophie’s eyes sparked, like when the pair talked about literature—particularly Sophie’s PHD. “They specialise in female authors—ofcourse—and there’s a whole community you can access.”

“We thought, with your big move, that it might be a nice reminder of home and a possibility for something new.” Benedict chimed in. “Until you find your feet and your favourite book café.”

“A new chapter,” Sophie added.

Eloise put on her best smile. She had always wished to fly the nest, but her heart still panged. No more would she be able to pop over to Benedict and Sophie’s for a late-night chat. She wouldn;t be able to pop down from Manchester for a comforting embrace and listening ear.

“Yeah…yeah.” She turned the postcard over, “I’ll give it a go."

1.Girl, Woman, Other by Bernadine Everisto

“I found the balance between the individual plots/styles and the overarching themes/structure of the novel to be a line well-toed. I feel it reflected the nature of race in Britain; at once so individualistic yet also overlapping.” PlantDaddy01.

“I agree with @PlantDaddy01. While I am not from a racial minority group, I liked how the book was intersectional, not just with race but class, gender and sexuality.” @E_classic-not-plastic_Bridgerton

“What do you mean by ‘intersectional’ @E_classic-not-plastic_Bridgerton ?"

“I’m referring to the idea of ‘intersectionality’. An idea that we need to look at issues through multiple lenses together—e.g. race AND gender—to fully understand the complexities of an issue. I can send you some articles if you want?” @E_classic-not-plastic_Bridgerton

“@E_classic-not-plastic_Bridgerton, that would be great. PM?”

2. Unwell Woman by Elinor Cleghorn

“Another great read! As a scientist myself, I found it very enlightening.” @PlantDaddy02.

PRIVATE MESSAGE:

El: A scientist?

Philip: What? I am a multi-faceted individual, a man who is “intersected by a variety of other determinations and ideologies”. Don’t judge a book by its cover, Eloise.

El: You read the essays I sent you?

Philip: Yes? Why wouldn’t I?

El: Oh, I usually overwhelm people with my opinions. Most of my family tune out or roll their eyes now. LOL 😂

Philip: Well those people are not worth your time—or are too narrow-minded to appreciate proper intellectual brilliance.

It had taken Eloise a while to respond after that.

3.Circe by Madeline Miller

Philip: I’m never looking at Greek legends the same way. Rick Riordan who?

El: I know it was so gripping! The description utterly entranced me, the romance, the heartbreak... Sorry that was a bit of an emotional spiel.

El: Also—Rick Riordan is still solid, thank you very much.

Philip: You like those too? After How to Train Your Dragon, that was my childhood book series. Going to be a bit controversial—Percy Jackson > Harry Potter. * goes and hides in his allotment*.

El: I TOTALLY AGREE!! I still hold the belief if stupid Universal hadn’t f—ed up the films then PJ would have been just as big as HP. FIGHT ME!

Philip: I think I know by now not to get in the ring with you—but always up to listen. Educate me El!

4.Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

Philip: Wasn’t there a movie adaptation about this? Have you seen it.

El: I heard. And not really. I don’t trust movie adaptations that much. PTSD from the PJ movies.

Philip: I understand the pain.

Philip: I’ve just look it up, T Swift did a song for it.

El: I’m always in two minds concerning TS. As a teen I really brought into the whole ‘she only writes about boyfriends’ crap. Gradually appreciating her music—especially Folklore.

Philip: Oh, Amanda loves her.

El: Is that a friend?

Philip: Sort of, not really.

Eloise decided not to look too closely at why relief flooded her system after that message.

Philip: Anyway, we could still see the movie.

Eloise’s heart stuttered.

El: Yeah, that might be nice. If it’s terrible we can throw popcorn at it.

Philip: I’d have to sort a couple things out, but you could come over to mine? Could only do Friday tho.

El: My roommates out this weekend so the flat is free. I have a sofa bed if you need to crash?

Eloise swore.

What the hell was she thinking?

Yes, she might have had a couple fantasies about Philip over the last months, (maybe more than a couple), but he didn’t need to know that.

However, a couple moments later a little star popped up in her notifications.

Philip: Sounds great. It’ll be nice to meet you in person. X

 El put her hand over her mouth—even though there was no one to see her blooming beam.

5. Oh no! Unfortunately, your surprise got lost in the mail!

Philip: Hey El. I know after last week you might not want to see me again. I get it, trust me, I do: a 24-year-old single dad with 6 year old twins isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. My life is a mess, I’m an utter mess. I should have told you about Amanda and Oli, that’s on me, and I am so sorry. I totally understand if you want to go back to messages or break contact.

But I really, really like you, Eloise. You’re smart, witty, intelligent, funny and gosh, just beautiful in every way. When I talk to you, for those moments, I feel like me. The real me. Not the reposnible dad, not the researcher, not the guy-with-the-kids. I can just be. I love it, I love us…whatever we are. I loved our night last week and I meant every word that I whispered to you under those covers and the ones I said when we woke up.

But I will respect your decision, Eloise. I will, whatever you decide. I don’t care if you want to return to being friends or pen pals…I just need my life to have you in it.

6. Diving into the Wreck by Adrienne Rich

Eloise tucked her book under her arm and rang the doorbell. She bounced on her toes outside the ground-floor flat and tried not to fiddle with her scrappy bun.

She hadn’t dressed up--hadn’t even applied makeup—on the virtuous idea of vulnerability. She had wanted to be Eloise, just Eloise—brash, coarse and raw. After all, Phillip was literally opening her heart up to her due to the invitation.

However, a ride on the bus had slowly eroded that conviction. She tried to inspect her features in the faint reflection of the window. No use.

The door swung open and Eloise’s heart fluttered.

Theo's smile transformed his face.

“Hi." He pushed his wire-framed glasses up his nose.

“Hi.” Eloise did a little wave. “It’s good to see you.” Philip startled slightly and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah—sorry,” he leant forward and kissed her cheek, “I just… his eyes slid over her body. “I am a very lucky man.”

“So am I,” Eloise replied with a blush, “a lucky woman that is—not man. Obviously.”

Philip chuckled and went to reply when—

“OLIVER! THAT’S MY CAR! GIVE IT BACK!”

Philip winced.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked.

“A wise man once told me to ‘never judge a book by its cover’.” Eloise replied, stepping up and entwining her fingers in his own.

“He sounds like an interesting guy.”

“The best,” she said, allowing him to lead her inside to start the next chapter of their story.

*~*~*~*~*

Post Christmas I might add to this, (so it's not just text messages) to add to the Six Moments series.

I used Phillip in this one even though I am more drawn to Theo (in the show, especially in comparison to bookPhilip). Although I have my own feelings about who showEloise's love interest should be.

[bangtanloverboys]

something sick & twisted (i) // jjk

summary - all your life you considered yourself to be a good kid. you got good grades, went to church every sunday, didn’t go to any parties. you did anything you could to keep yourself on the path to heaven, even if it meant hiding some of the darkest parts of you to yourself. that was how you lived until one day, your no-good roommates decided to take you up to an abandoned cabin in the woods, where you begin to feel yourself corrupt from the inside out

pairing - demon!jungkook x church boy!reader

genre - suspense, smut

word count - 11.4k

warnings - internalized homophobia, catholic guilt, reader is a bit of a straight edge, kinda incubus!jungkook but also not really?, toxic friendships, drugs use (marijuana), driving while intoxicated/high, head injury, hospitals, kinda unconsensual touching?, clubbing, alcohol consumption, kitty gang!jimin shows up, sex dream, blowjob, paranoia, sleep deprivation, (former) youth group leader!namjoon, homophobic parents, masturbation, shame, lot’s of conflicted feelings, voyeurism, some degradation, slight man handling, name calling, spit as lube/improper prep (please don’t do that), loss of virginity, dom!jungkook, sub!reader, top!jungkook, bottom!reader, gay sex, unprotected sex (also don’t do that), non-explicitng praying during sex (um), crying during sex, kinda dacryphilia, marking, accidental selling of the soul

author’s note - the infamous gay demon jungkook is here. . . and here’s here to fuck shit up. i would like to note that if you are religious, i do not recommend reading this. @tipsydipsydo​ since you asked to be tagged. . . hope you enjoy also big shout out to @crazy4myself​ for being my beta for this ily

part ii

All throughout your life, you knew there was something off about you. You could never figure out what it was exactly, but you knew you weren’t like the other boys at your church. It got even more apparent when you started school. You don’t know what it was as you’d play in the dirt, on the field, on the playground with all the other guys; goofing around and having fun. But there was just a piece of you that knew you couldn’t relate to them, entirely.

One day, you were walking past the swingset where a couple of girls were whispering amongst themselves. Curious, you circled around them to get a bit closer. Being as careful as possible, you were able to get close enough to hear them. 

“I think Lucas is the cutest boy in class!”

“No! He’s not!”

“It’s Lucas! And I’m gonna marry him, he’s gonna be my boyfriend one day.”

You were taken aback by their conversation. Not because they were talking about boys, but because they were wrong. The cutest boy in your class was Eric, the boy who sat next to you during reading time and always read Percy Jackson. You’d peer over the edge of your own book to watch his eyes wildly follow the lines on the paper. Sure you lost points for not reading the required amount of pages you were supposed to, but it was worth it.

It wasn’t until the following Sunday that you learned it was wrong.

You sat in horror as the preacher talked about how boys liking other boys was wrong and that they were going to burn in Hell. Shame burned deep in your soul as he continued to talk about how much God hated queer folk. If God hated homosexuals. . . did He hate you too? Looking at your parents, you saw them nod in agreement. Did they hate you too?

After that mass, you made a point not to sit next to Eric anymore. Not that he noticed anyways, he wasn’t exactly your friend. Every night, you prayed to God begging Him not to hate you. To change you, to understand that you didn’t want to be that way. But every day, you still woke up the same.

It wasn’t until you were in a middle school sex ed class that homosexuality was brought up again. The teacher asked the class what they homosexuality was. Prepared with what you had learned from church, you raised your hand proudly, ready to answer. When she called on you, you answered that it was a sin. Within an instant the class erupted into gasps. The teacher gave you a pitiful smile before telling you that it wasn’t a sin and there was nothing inherently wrong with it.

That Tuesday afternoon, you swore the sun shined a little brighter. If it wasn’t wrong, then maybe God didn’t hate you! He loved everyone, maybe the gay thing was a mistake and He did love you! You weren’t going to burn in Hell! When you got home from school and your parents asked you what you learned, you eagerly responded with what the teacher said that being gay wasn’t a sin and that it was okay. The joy you felt earlier melted away into fear as you watched your parents’ faces harden. Your mom stood up from the dinner table, saying she needed to make a call. Leaving you alone with your father, who talked with you for the next 30 minutes about how that teacher was wrong and that you should never ever be gay. You were transferred out of that school.

Years passed and you buried those thoughts and feelings deep inside. You locked it away in a little box and threw away the key. God loved you and He wouldn’t make you gay. . . But it didn’t make sense as to why you were.

Knowing your mortal sin, you did everything in your power to make up for it. To prove to Him that you were never going to act on your desire and be the child of God you were: you prayed every night before bed, went to church every Sunday with your family, attended every Youth Group field trip; you never swore, drank, smoked, partied. Nothing. You were the picture perfect child to the picture perfect family. 

You even had a girlfriend! Although not for very long. Her name was Aera, one of if not the most beautiful girls in school. You dated her for a few months before it ended abruptly. You took her to Senior Prom and when you were driving home, she got rather. . . handsy. By the time you parked, she all but pounced on you. Straddling you, she kissed you feverishly. You sat there frozen, not knowing what to do as her hand traveled down south, where you were still soft in your pants. After a few minutes of you not responding, she pulled away, eyebrows furrowed.

“Are you gay or something?”

“No!” You blurted out, “I-I’m just not ready!”

“Well when are you gonna be ready? It’s been 3 months and I’ve been hinting at it for weeks! Hell, that was the first time we even kissed!” She exclaimed as she pulled herself off of you.

“I-I want to wait until marriage,” you muttered, the excuse falling flat on your tongue. It was true though, you wanted to wait for marriage and wait for the right person. But if you were honest with yourself, that wasn’t the entire reason. 

Rolling her eyes at you, she told you to call her when you weren’t gonna be such a prude. You didn’t call her back.

The remainder of your time at highschool, you didn’t date. Claiming to be too busy studying and your parents didn’t mind. They liked the idea of a studious son, they were proud of it also. Bragging to the other people at your parish on how you never did anything bad, like most of the other kids at your school. The closer you got to graduation, the more they started suggesting Catholic colleges and Universities nearby that either they went to or thought were good schools; but you didn’t want those. You wanted to go to school in a different place, meet and see new people. It took a bit of cooperation, but you were finally able to convince your parents to let you go to a regular college as long as you held up to three rules: stay on top of your school work, don’t go out partying, and most importantly, go to church. 

All of which you managed pretty fine; you were only at college to get an education, nothing more and nothing less. For the past 3 years, those rules still held up and your past roommates were pretty understanding of them and respected your space. 

That was until you got two new roommates, Taehyung and Soekjin, who made an unending game of trying to get you to abandon those rules. A few weeks into the semester, they seemed to have dropped the issue, or so you had thought. 

One night, you were running late for an evening Saturday mass. You’d accidentally missed church last Sunday and it was nearing the weekend and this was the only time you felt you could make it up. It was by mere coincidence that your roommates were also going out that night and offered to drop you off. Relief flooded through you as you accepted the offer, they finally seemed to have learned to respect you. The three of you climbed into Seokjin’s car and you were off. A few minutes go by and you spotted the church in the windshield, and got ready for them to turn into the parking lot. Only the turn wasn’t never made. 

“Uh, guys? You passed it.” You questioned, gesturing to the building that was slowly shrinking into the distance. Looking up, you saw both of them grinning at each other. 

Seokjin made eye contact with you in his rearview mirror. “We know.”

Turning in his seat to face you, Taehyung began to speak. “We just thought that you should be spending your Saturday night doing something fun! You’re almost 21 and you’re still following your parents' rules. Live a little.”

“Those-those aren’t my parents’ rules, I willingly want to go?!” Your explanation fell on deaf ears as Taehyung shifted back in his seat to face the front. He opened up the center console, digging around until he pulled out a plastic baggie with two neatly rolled joints. “What are you-”

Before the question even fully left your mouth, he took one of them out and to his lips. Pulling a lighter from his pockets, he lit the joint. He took a deep inhale before facing you again. “Wanna hit?” Blowing the a thick cloud of smoke in your face.

“No-!” Your shout was cut off with a cough as you accidentally inhaled the smoke. “Turn around now. I’m not comfortable with this!”

“Relax, dude. We’re almost there.” Seokjin chimed in as Taehyung passed the joint to him, his eyes never leaving the road as he took a hit. “You’ve done nothing but study and church, study and church. The school year is almost over and you haven’t done anything!”

“Because I didn’t want to do anything else, now where are we going?!” You were close to screaming as you looked out the windows, seeing nothing but trees and wilderness surrounding the road. You felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest. “Turn around please!”

“Okay dude, you seriously need to chill.” Taehyung scoffed, blatantly ignoring your pleas. “Either take a hit, or shut up.”

Tears that welled up in your eyes burned as you blinked them back. There were many things you allowed Taehyung and Seokjin to get away with so far: you never bagered them about the smoking or the drinking, or coming home late and intoxicated. In fact, there was more than enough occasion where you’d walk in on them either giving or receiving sexual acts to both women and men alike! You’d ignore the burn in your cheeks and the dark twist in your gut as you slammed the door shut. You respected them and their choices, you had hoped they would do the same for you. But you had thought wrong. 

Helpless in the situation, you bit your tongue. Your hand immediately went to the cross that hung around your neck, trying to find any comfort for your current situation. Closing your eyes, you began to pray. Praying for God to do anything to help you get out of this car and back home. Yet nothing happened. You knew God worked in mysterious ways, but you really needed a miracle right about now and the lack of one wasn’t making your chances look any brighter. 

Fifteen minutes had passed when the car finally stopped. Opening your eyes, you saw the headlights shine onto the front of an old hunting cabin. You watched as Taehyung stubbed out the joint on the leather of the seat, adding onto the several other burn marks along the edge of the seat. 

“We’re here.” Seokjin announced as he opened his door, stepping out into the cool night air, the smoke curling around him.

You remained seated in the car, refusing to move. 

“Come on, Y/N! We promise it’s nothing too bad.” Taehyung whined. “We just want to show you this, then we’ll take you back to the dorm.”

Taking a deep breath, you met his eyes. “Promise?”

“Scouts honor,” he responded, pressing his hand over his heart. 

“Five minutes,” was all you said as you climbed out of the car. Taehyung let out a little cheer as you took in the sight of the cabin before you. The front windows appeared to be broken and the deck looked half rotted away. Despite all the clear evidence pointing to it being abandoned, you felt like something was staring at you from inside. Whatever it was, it clearly wasn’t friendly.

“Alright, let’s go.” Taehyung giddily rubbed his hands together as Seokjin turned on his phone's flash.

Taking careful steps, you all made your way up to the front door that was creaking as it swang idly in the door frame. The feeling of being watched only grew stronger the longer you stood on the front step. Seokjin pushed the door completely open, shining his phone light inside. From the small light, you caught glimpses of red spray paint and taxidermied deer heads on the walls. He took a couple steps forward, Taehyung following close behind. You were about to take your step in, but Seokjin’s phone flashed over some of the graffiti, revealing several pentagrams and demonic looking symbols sprayed all over the walls. You froze in the doorway, your mind and body refusing to step foot near unholy imagery. 

“Get in here!” Taehyung grabbed your wrist, trying to drag you into the cabin by force.

“No. You showed me the freaky house. Take me home.” You resisted his grip, but unfortunately he was stronger than you and pulled you in. As you stumbled in, you heard a loud crunch underfoot. Flinching, you slowly lifted your foot to see the broken fragments of what looked like an animal skull. Feeling the scream coming, you slapped your hand over your mouth in an attempt to muffle it.

Seokjin scoffed at your reaction. “It’s already dead, not like you can hurt it anymore.”

The tears you’d been holding back for so long began to blur your vision as you glared at him. Fed up with your roommates’ behavior, you turned on your heel, ready to walk back out towards the way you came. You did not want to spend another second in the demonic household, but Taehyung stepped in front of you, preventing you from leaving. 

“Nothing is going to come grab you, bro. There’s nothing’s gonna happen.” As if on cue, one of the mounted deer heads fell to the ground, startling you. “Okay maybe stuff is gonna fall because shit’s old as hell. But isn’t this place cool? Seokjin and I heard some of our classmates talk about this place and we wanted to check it out.”

“Yeah, some years ago some kids tried summoning a demon and they started doing messed up shit, like they had no conscience whatsoever.” Seokjin explained as he looked closer at the symbols on the wall. “They got locked up before anything could do anything worse, but they all blamed it on the demon they summoned. Telling them to give into their dark desires.” As he talked, you felt Taehyung standing closer behind you. Almost uncomfortably close. “And according to them, the demon is still around, still at this house.”

“If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not funny. Can we leave now?” You could feel Taehyung practically breathing down your neck, causing heat to crawl over your body. Every bone in your body was telling you to run, but with Taehyung right behind you, you know he’d grab you and keep you here even longer. 

Rustling on the other side of the room had your eyes snap over. There stood Taehyung, poking at the fallen deer head with his foot. A strange mix of relief and fear washed over your body. If Taehyung was over then who was standing behind you?

 Your brain tried to rationalize the situation. Perhaps you were on edge and imagining things, the stuff about demons getting to your head. Or maybe you were contact high from being trapped in that car for so long. No matter how many rational solutions you came up with, none of them felt right. You felt the presence get closer to you, hot air brushing against the shell of your ear like someone was breathing right on it; the faintest touch of lips grazing against your skin. 

“Boo.”

You let out a blood curdling scream as you whipped your body around, throwing your arms about in an attempt to shake off the heated presence that remained attached to your body. You heard the concern calls of Seokjin and Taehyung, trying their best to calm you down. Ignoring them, you bolted out the door, ready to make your way back towards the car and away from this place forever. As you bounded across the deck, you hit a weak spot. The rotted wood giving away to your weight, before you knew it, the world went dark. 

The next thing you knew you were lying down on a bed, machines beeping beside you and antiseptics filled your senses. You were in a hospital. In seconds it all started coming back to you: your roommates, the cabin, the paranoia, the presence. All coupled with a painful throbbing in your skull, reminding you of how you got there. 

Peeling your eyes open, it was bright and blurry; you were able to make out two figures on the other side of the room. They must’ve noticed you waking up because you heard hushed comments and a set of footsteps left the room. Before you knew it, Taehyung appeared overhead. “H-hey Y/N, you with us?”

“What happened?” You muttered.

“You hit your head running out- listen, the doctor-”

“He’s finally awake!” A female voice cut him off, directing both of your attention to her. “Hey Y/N, I’m Dr. Lee. How’s your head?”

“Hurts. How long was I out?” You questioned as the world got more into focus. Glancing out the window, you could see the sky was still dark so it couldn’t have been too long. . . unless it’s been longer than that.

“Only a few hours,” the doctor reassured you with a smile. “Your friends here said you took a tumble at a party, right?”

Your eyes darted to Tae and Jin, who were behind the doctor silently pleading for you to go along with it. They knew what they did was wrong, seeing as they technically kidnapped you. They put your life at risk. They deserved to face the consequences of their actions, you technically could sue them. But then the face of your parents came into view. You knew that if you fessed up about them driving high and taking you to some demonic abandoned cabin, you’d never hear the end of it. You couldn’t tell the truth. You’ve never lied before, and the mere thought of it had you feeling worse than your already pounding head. 

“Right.” Your voice was flat. Behind Dr. Lee, you saw Seokjin and Tae quietly sing your praises as you lied to her, feeling sick to your stomach. 

“Gotcha. Good news is your ankle isn’t sprained or broken, but considering your head injury we’d like to keep you overnight for observation.” She explained. “Your friends are more than welcome to stay-”

“No!” You cut her off. Dr. Lee gave you a bewildered look. “Sorry, it’s just. We’re roommates and maybe I can get some sleep.” You chuckled, to which she seemed to understand. After a few more minutes of checking you up, she told you a nurse would be around with some meds for you then bid you goodbye, leaving you alone with Taehyung and Seokjin once again.

“Hey man, you’re a real one-”

“Just go. I’m tired.” You huffed. While you doubted you’d get any sleep, you wanted to be alone. You needed to process what happened in that cabin and you didn’t need the two buffoons who brought you there to freak you out about it more. Plus, Seokjin snored so a quiet night away from the dorm was more than ideal, it doesn't matter that it’s spent in a hospital. 

Nodding, they said goodbye, mentioning that they’ll pick you up in the morning. Door closed, you let out a sigh of relief. Finally alone, you leaned back onto the hospital bed, all the energy draining from your body. You figured that while you were waiting for a nurse to drop off your meds, it wouldn’t hurt resting your eyes a bit. 

However the rest you received wasn’t exactly restful or comfortable; the dry sheets itching at your exposed skin and a sticky heat crawling down your back. Shifting in the bed, you tried to ignore it, thinking it could possibly be the IV going through your body. The heat only grew though, inching all over your body. As the heat moved, it slowly felt more like. . . hands? Was someone touching you? You laid still, trying to gauge if someone else was in the room with you. Yet you heard nothing; no breathing, no rustling of clothing, nothing. Yet you felt someone was in the room with you and was touching you.

The heat made its way along the front of your torso, circling its way over your pelvic bone. The invisible hands dragged their way over until they rested right above your dick. You held your breath, wanting this sick nightmare to be over. The heart monitor you were connected to was beeping speedily as the unseen fingertips started to drop lower and lower. You could feel the large palm of the hand begin to press against you, causing all the blood in your body to rush towards your cock. This had never happened before. You weren’t sure if you hated it or wanted it to continue. You didn’t move though, your body frozen in a silent dilemma of letting it happen or opening your eyes and confronting the person touching you.

Opposite side of the room, you heard the door click and suddenly the heat left you. Your eyes snapped open, finding a nurse with a tray of medication in hand. Your head swung about the room, but you saw no one else. 

“Sorry if I woke you, I have your meds.” The nurse chuckled. You felt your heart was still racing but the monitor's rhythmic beat was unphased as she approached you. She couldn’t have been that much older than you, you noted. She also seemed to be very peppy for the late hour; but you welcomed it, liking her cheerful attitude as a small distraction. She handed you a small cup of colorful capsules, explaining which ones were which and a bottle of water. 

“Thank you,” you responded after you downed the meds, gulping down the water. After that strange dream? Hot flash? your body welcomed the cool liquid. 

“It’s no problem,” the nurse reassured as you handed her back the small plastic cup. “If you need anything else, press this button right here.” She pointed to the remote that was tucked in the side of the bed, the button labeled NURSE, as she made her way towards the door. 

“Got it.” You nodded. Laying back against the pillow, you shut your eyes. But you could still feel someone was in the room. Unsure if the nurse had left yet, you peeked out of one eye to see if you were alone and you were. You chalked it up to residual paranoia from the dream, but you still felt watched. Closing your eyes again, you muttered a prayer under your breath. You prayed for God to give you a speedy recovery, and for Him to give you a sense of peace from the evening's events. After that, you were able to sleep a bit more easily, yet you still felt a presence in the corner of the room watching you.

A few days have passed since the cabin incident as you’ve dubbed it, and you haven’t spoken much to either Taehyung or Seokjin since they picked you up from the hospital after you received a clean bill of health. Which was an awfully hard task, considering you all shared a dorm. But it was needed. Sooner the semester got over the sooner you’d never have to see them again. 

Unfortunately the strange hot presence you felt at the hospital came with you, always crawling around the back of your neck. You swore you could hear it whispering in your ear sometimes, making you think of things you never in a million years would do. You’d find yourself staring at the half empty bottles of alcohol that Seokjin and Taehyung would leave around the room, imagining yourself drinking them and getting drunk. Or late at night right after you said your nightly prayer, your mind would flash back to one of the many times you walked in on Taehyung going down on some guy you remember seeing on campus; you’d imagine yourself in Taehyung’s place. On your knees, your mouth stuffed full of- 

You’d manage to catch yourself before your mind wandered a bit too far. It was like the angel and devil on your shoulder; only your angel was missing, leaving you alone with the devil, telling you to give in to your darkest desires. 

The thoughts not only plagued your mind when you were awake but when you slept as well. You were never even able to fully remember the dream in its entirety but you were always able to remember the heat that engulfed your entire body and a dark pair of eyes, staring deep into you. You could still feel the eyes on you when you’d wake in the middle of the night, your dick hard and begging to cum. One time, you were unconsciously grinding into your mattress, and you knew how close you were. It was so tempting to give in and let yourself go, the eyes still freshly seared into your mind. But you couldn’t. It was dirty and wrong. With tears in your eyes, you silently prayed to be free of the torment. 

The morning of your twenty-first birthday rolled around. It was a Friday, you had nothing to really do that day. Peeling your eyes open, you stared up at Taehyung’s bed above you, not wanting to look down because you already knew what would happen if you looked. Unfortunately, you’re  getting used to waking up with an nearing on painful morning wood, you have begun a routine of cold showers in the morning, not wanting your roommates to see you. Gathering your things, you made your way to the showers. Maybe if the water gets cold enough, it’ll freeze the hot presence that’s attached itself to you. You think that every time you take the shower, and still as soon as you leave the icy shower, the heat creeps right back up your body. 

By the time you return to your dorm, Seokjin and Taehyung are awake; Taehyung still sitting in his bunk, legs dangling over the side. When you pushed open the door, he met your eyes and a boxy smile grew on his face. 

“Ay, there he is! Man of the hour! Happy birthday, dude!” He cheered as you dropped your pajamas into your dirty laundry.

“Thanks,” you sighed as you laid back down on your bed, pulling out your phone. 

“You gonna do anything today?” Seokjin asked.

You shrugged, you didn’t really have any plans. You didn’t have many friends on campus, one of the many sacrifices you made for focusing on your education. Then with your parents living a few hours away, it was unlikely you’d be able to celebrate with them. Your parents didn’t like drinking anything other than a glass of wine at dinner. Having tasted wine already multiple times each time you had communion, you don’t think you’d have a good time.

“You’re not doing anything for your 21st? You’re a full on legal adult, and you’re not gonna do anything?” 

“Yeah, let us treat you to something.” Jin offered. “See it as a way for us to repay you for. . . you know.” He added on, not so subtly referencing the start of your constant mental torture. 

You opened your mouth to decline, but the words that came out were: “Sure, why not.”

The statement had both you and your roommates frozen in shock. You can’t believe you agreed to that, you want to be mad. You want to be angry and take it back, but the words don’t come out, stuck in the back of your throat. Tae and Jin ignore your state of shock and let out a cheer, happy that you finally agreed to do something quote-unquote not lame.

The entire rest of the day you tried to figure out a way to cancel on them; making up a phone appointment with your mother, a test coming up, a book you wanted to read. Ever since the night where you lied to the doctor, you’ve found lying a bit easier and it was something else added onto your growing list of sins. But the voice in the back of your head told you that they were small, innocent lies. They shouldn’t have that big of any consequence, right?

They dismissed each and every excuse you threw at them, adamant that they were going to give you the best birthday ever. When you refused to get ready, Seokjin all but threw some of your nice Sunday clothes at you after pulling them from your dresser. With no other choice, you let it happen. Best case scenario, they take you to some bar and they’ll buy you something strong that’ll make you sick in minutes, forcing the night to end there. Alas, it didn’t appear they were taking you to a bar.

No, they were taking you to a new club that had just opened that weekend downtown. The three of you waited a near hour in line outside the building before getting let in. Once inside, it looked just as one would expect a club to look. Colorful lights danced across the overly crowded room, the bass of the music thumping loud in your ears. You hated yourself for agreeing to going in the first place, yet that twisted part in you was intrigued by it all. Several times you caught yourself staring at the couples as you passed by them. They didn’t seem to care, too wrapped up in their own pleasure to notice you.

Taehyung and Seokjin led you straight to the bar, where they called for the attention of one of the bartenders, who looked like he would rather be anywhere else. 

“What can I get for you?” He asked, shouting a bit over the loud music. 

“It’s his 21st! Got anything you’d recommend?” Taehyung raised his eyebrows, obviously hoping that maybe it would lower the price on the drinks you’ll order. 

Shifting his attention to you, the bartender asked, “What do you like?”

“Uhh, something easy?” You shrugged, having no idea what to do or say. You were way out of your element. 

The bartender blinked at you for a moment. “I’ll make you a Long Island Iced Tea.” 

You leaned over to Seokjin beside you. “Is that a good one?” 

He didn’t really give you a response, as his eyes were locked on the crowd. Following his gaze, you saw he’d made eye contact with a girl on the dance floor, and was slowly inching in that direction. Rolling your eyes, you turned to face Taehyung again, but he wasn’t there anymore. Glancing around, you found him grinding on the ass of a guy. 

You whipped your head back in front of you, just in time for the bartender to give you your drink. Before you could take it, he asked for your card to pay for the drink. With both Seokjin and Taehyung occupied, it gave you no other choice than to pull out your debit card and hand it over to him with a sigh. So much for it being their treat.

You don’t move from your place at the bar, sipping your drink as you observe the people around you indulge themselves. After a while, you slowly got used to your surroundings. The boom of the music didn’t shake you to your core, and the drink you’d ordered wasn’t all that bad. However, you began to feel the familiar sticky heat surround you accompanied by the sensation of someone watching you. 

Turning away from your drink you stared into the sea of people. With the low lighting and the constant movement, it was difficult to make out anything in particular but something compelled you to continue to stare into the crowd. It was hard to see in the dark, but eventually you spotted who was staring at you and it was a pair of eyes you never thought you’d see wide awake. Leaning against the wall, was a young man, not much older than you, dressed head to toe in red. His long dark hair was slicked back, fully exposing his eyes to you. The same dark eyes you see every night when you go to bed. The air was sucked from your lungs as you gawked at him, unsure of what to do. When you had met his gaze, he didn’t turn around or play coy, only continued to watch you with heavy lidded eyes. With a smirk playing on his lips, he winked at you before vanishing behind a group of people. 

You couldn’t believe what you just saw. The eyes from your dream staring right at you, ready to devour you at any given moment. It had to be the alcohol, no. You were drunk and seeing things. Can you see things when you’re drunk? Or was that a drugged thing? Either way, you couldn’t have seen those eyes. They weren’t real, they were some sort of strange figment of your imagination. 

A tap on your shoulder jerked you out of your spiral. Turning, an extremely beautiful man stood before you; his faded pink hair perfectly tousled, and a smirk pulling on his plump lips. 

“Hey cutie,” his voice was low as he placed his hand on your knee. You froze. Never once in your life has a man ever flirted with you. You were unsure how fast your heart was beating or if it was even still beating at all. “How’re you doing tonight?”

“I- uh, good.” You stuttered out. Was the music getting louder? “H-how are you?”

“Oh what a gentleman,” he purred as his hand crawled up your thigh, his touch was burning. Almost like it was searing into your skin.  “I’m doing good. Thank you. . . What are you doing here tonight, hmm?”

“It’s-It’s my birthday.”

“Oooh,” that seemed to intrigue him even more. “Then, why don’t you let me say happy birthday?” His hand was now dangerously close to your dick, already growing harder against your slacks. 

If your face wasn’t already red, it certainly was now, your cheeks burning as the beautiful man’s gaze flickered down. The voice in your head grew louder, telling you to give in. To let it happen, to indulge yourself in a little sin. You opened your mouth, but before the words were able to come out, you slapped your hand over your mouth. 

The action startled the man in front of you, giving you a puzzling look. “Hey if you don’t want to-”

You don’t let him finish. You scrambled off your seat and made your way towards the exit, not caring that your roommates were still in the building. You needed to get as far away from the club as possible. 

It took a couple hours, but you walked all the way back to campus, not even really caring that you should’ve ordered an Uber. You needed penance, that walk was going to serve at it. You couldn’t believe yourself for what had happened. The small sliver of you that wanted it, that wanted to accept the stranger’s offer. You wanted to throw up, you were so disgusted with yourself. You didn’t deserve an Uber home, you deserved to walk home.

It was nearing 3 am by the time you reached your dorm, you weren’t even sure if Tae and Jin were back yet. You didn’t really care, all you could think about was the aching in your feet and how badly you wanted to sleep. Throwing off your shoes, you flopped into your bunk, not bothering to change out of the nice clothes you were in. 

Alas, even in the world of dreams you couldn’t escape. You dreamt of the beautiful pink haired stranger, his plump lips wrapped around your cock. Mind muddled with lust, you bucked into his mouth, you couldn’t take it anymore. You needed release. You were so close to it too, it was only a matter of seconds. The stranger around your dick met your eyes, and you could feel your gut twist in knots. Overwhelmed, you turned to face the wall, not wanting to see what you knew would happen next. Instead of meeting the wall, you’re face to face with the man and his dark eyes that have been haunting you. A choked moan slipped past your lips, unable to divert your eyes away from his.

“Look at him.” A voice rang in your head. While you did not recognize it, you knew it came from the man. “Look at him while you cum.”

Compelled to follow the order, you glanced down to the pink haired stranger just as the knot in your stomach snapped, shooting your cum into his soft warm mouth. Tears pricked at your eyes as waves of pleasure washed over you. Lewds slurps echoed in the room as he gulped down your release. He pulled himself off you with an obscene pop. 

“Naughty boy.”

You awoke with a start, breathing so hard it felt like you had run 10 miles. The sun shining out your window and the snoring of your roommates had you sighing, it was a dream. It wasn’t real. Moving to sit up, you notice the crotch of your pants are wet. Cringing, you pushed your cover away to reveal a dark circle of wetness in your nice pants. Your eyes welled up as you got up, gathering fresh clothes as quickly as you could, rushing towards the bathroom. 

Dressed in clean clothes, you stared yourself down in the mirror, disgusted with what you’ve become. You used to be so. . . good. Yet ever since that night, that stupid night at that cabin, something has changed you. Because ever since, you felt that heat attached itself to you, you’ve felt dirty and gross. No matter how many times you showered, you’ll never be clean of it.

Unsure what else to do or where to go, you found yourself walking the few blocks to your church. Pulling open the heavy doors, you stepped into the chapel. Usually when you go to church, regardless if there is mass or not, you feel all the tension leave your body. Not this time. It felt like it wound up even tighter. 

You walked past all the pews until you were in front of the altar. Quietly as you could, you tugged the pew kneeler down. Kneeling down, you pressed your hands together, you squeezed your eyes shut, and you prayed. You prayed to God that He’ll forgive you for what you’ve become and for Him to free you of this horrible nightmare that you’ve been living in. You begged Him to deliver you from the sin of your own thoughts. As you prayed, the heat that you’ve grown all too familiar with creeped along your neck, like it was mocking you. Telling you that no matter how much you prayed, or how much you wished to be free, you could never escape it. 

The following weeks, you made every point to avoid sleep and those dreams. You’d stay up hours past the usual time you fall asleep, even up longer than Seokjin and Tae who already stayed up pretty late. You’d stay up reading, completing assignments and studying for tests that weren’t going to happen for a while. The only sleep you’d get was maybe a few hours, but that was only when your body couldn’t stay up any more. Most of the time you’d end up falling asleep at your desk, passing out from complete exhaustion. 

You were absolutely miserable, and it showed as your grades started slipping. By the time Spring Break rolled around, you went from straight As to Cs and Ds. You were glad that parents didn’t get emails or updates on your grades in college because they certainly would have a lot to say.

Getting out of the car, you stared up at your childhood home. You came home for break every semester, but this time around, you truly didn’t want to be here. After the last few weeks, you wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist. But you had no other choice, wanting to appear as if nothing was wrong, you had to see your family.

Shouldering your backpack, you walked up the gravel walkway to the front door. You knocked three times before your mother swung the door open, a bright smile on her face.

“Oh my baby boy is home!” She cooed as she moved to hug you.

“Hi mom.” You sighed as you hugged her back. For a moment, you forgot about everything that happened the past few weeks. You forgot all about the cabin, the dreams, the eyes, the club. Everything. At that moment, you were just a boy hugging his mom. Eventually the moment had to end and she pulled away.

You watched as her face morphed from happy to concerned. “Honey, have you been doing alright? You look tired.”

“Just. . . been having trouble sleeping.” You shrugged.

“Oh, well, go to bed early tonight and sleep in as late as you want. You’re on break now!” She cheered as she fully stepped away from you and into the house. “Come on, we actually have a bit of a surprise for you too.”

Lacing her arm with yours, she all but dragged you into the kitchen where there stood your father and-

“Namjoon?!” 

With the call of his name, he turned to face you, his dimpled grin fully on display. Instantly, you felt warmth spread across your cheeks. Having gone to the same parish as you, Namjoon had been your Youth Group leader when you were in middle school and you thought he was absolutely wonderful; he was always so kind and thoughtful and caring. He was everything you wanted to be in a person. You’d heard plenty of the girls in your group gossip amongst themselves about how hot they thought he was and while you hated it, you agreed. At first you thought you could ignore it; you’d sit next to him and talk to him as often as you could during and after the group meeting. But the closer you felt you got with him, the more you realized the feelings weren’t platonic anymore. Almost overnight, your behavior towards him changed. You’d sit further away from him or in the back, you would only talk to him when absolutely necessary. You thought you were subtle about it, but he had noticed the drastic change; constantly checking up on you and asking if you were doing alright, none of which helped you in your endeavor to stop liking him. Eventually when you aged out of his group, you made a point to not contact him at all. In fact, the last time you think you have even heard of Namjoon was when he got married back in the fall. Your parents had received the invitation, but due to you being away for college, you missed the ceremony. 

“Hey, Y/N! How’ve you been?” He held out his hand for you to shake. As you did so, you felt the familiar heat dragging down your spine. You immediately dropped his hand, as if he was on fire. 

Before he could ask what that was, you answered his question. “Good, good. Just been dealing with school. Nothing much has been happening.”

“Ah, come on, don’t be so modest.” Your father boomed as he put an arm over your shoulders. “He’s the best in his class, aren’t you, son?”

“Y-yeah, definitely.” You squeaked as the lie stumbled over your lips, not even thinking twice about it. The heat continued to steadily inch down your back, creeping along until it reached the waist of your jeans. You squirmed against your father’s hold, you weren’t sure how long you were going to last until it reached. . . other places. 

“It was also his birthday not too long ago, Mr. Twenty-One.” Your dad boasted.

“Oh really well, happy belated birthday.” Namjoon smiled at you, bowing his head a bit. The heat made its way over to your ass and you felt it squeeze you. It took every fiber of you to not make any drastic movement, not wanting to make any more of a scene. 

“Thank you.” You said, giving him a tight smile in return. 

“We were about to sit down for lunch, would you like to join us or would you like to settle in?” Your mom interjected.

Meaning your options were to either suffer through a lunch with the presence touching you and potentially making a fool of yourself, or to hide in your room, leaving you alone with it. That thought alone was enough reason for you to agree to lunch.

Beaming, your mom took your backpack from you saying she’ll put it in your room while you, Namjoon, and your dad went to the backyard where the patio table was all set up. When you sat down, the heat left your body. Which you were thankful for, maybe you could get through the rest of the afternoon without any trouble from it. As you sat quietly, Namjoon and your dad continued their conversation before you came in. It was a few minutes until your mother returned, food in hand. You thanked her as she prepared your plate and handed it to you. You ate in silence, listening to what your parents and Namjoon talked about things that had been happening recently, both in the church and in your family. 

“So Y/N, you have a girlfriend yet?” Your former Youth Group leader asked, taking a sip of his lemonade.

“Oh- No, not yet. Haven’t found anyone.” You answered, giving a tight smile. “I like to focus more on school anyways.”

“Well that’s understandable,” he nodded. “But I do hope you find someone that you like soon.” He smiled.

“Thank you-”

“Oh, did you hear about Yoongi?” Your mother interjected.

“No? What happened, is he okay?” You asked. Min Yoongi was your next door neighbor and childhood best friend, but the two of you grew apart just before highschool started. So to hear his name brought up randomly was cause for a little concern.

“He says he’s bisexual and has a boyfriend!” 

Soon as the words left her mouth, you froze in your seat. You were relieved that nothing bad happened to him, but jealousy and fear washed over your body. After all those years of friendship you had with him, you were suddenly disgusted with him, hating the fact you were such a close friend to someone disrespecting God like that. Yet at the same time, a small part deep inside you felt envious of him. Despite your internal conflict, the news had you looking tentatively to your father who was clenching his jaw. 

“Oh really?” Namjoon spoke first, his tone sounding genuinely curious.

“Mmhmm, his parents were furious and kicked him out. Don’t think we’ll be seeing him again any time soon.” Your mother continued on as she ate her salad.

“Oh, is he going to be alright? Does he need help?” Namjoon furrowed his brows as he set his fork down.

“Don’t think he needs any help considering he chose his path.” Your father said as he whipped his face with a napkin. “Boys shouldn’t mess around with other boys, it’s just not natural. Right, Y/N?”

“Right, dad.” You murmured quietly, the words putting a sour taste in your mouth. You looked down at your plate, picking at it a bit. You wanted the floor to swallow you up. You wanted to scream and cry because you know that if they knew you were like Yoongi, they’d say the same things about you. 

“I wouldn’t exactly say that, Mr. L/N.” Namjoon countered. “Being gay or bisexual isn’t unnatural, as we do see homosexuality among wild animals such as penguins, lions, and primates. These people aren’t choosing to be gay, they just are.”

“God made us the way we are, and He doesn’t make mistakes. Yoongi and all those other homos made their choice.” Your father argued, raising his voice ever so slightly. “What are you gay, Namjoon? You’re defending them so passionately.”

“No I’m not, but my wife is bisexual. Seeing as I’m an ally to her community, it’s only right I speak up on their behalf.” You swore for a moment he glanced in your direction. “But now I feel that I’m not exactly welcome here, so I think it’s time for me to go.”

“You don’t have to do that, Namjoon-” Your mother pleaded as he sat up.

“No, Mrs. L/N, I think I do.”

“I’ll walk you to the door.” You blurted out, catching everyone at the table off guard. Before your father could say a word, you were already out of your seat and walking back inside the house, Namjoon not too far behind you. You don’t turn to face him until you’re both at the front door. “I’m-I’m sorry about that. . .”

“It’s not your fault,” he reassured you, putting a hand on your shoulder. “People fear what they don’t understand.” He gave you a squeeze before dropping his hand. “And uh, if you ever need someone to talk to that’s not your parents or anything, here’s my card.” He pulled a small business card from his pocket, handing it to you. 

“I’m not-” You began to defend yourself but he stopped you. 

“I’m not saying you are, but I’m here for you. As a friend.”

The tips of your ears grew hot as you accepted his card. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he smiled as he stepped out the front door. “Take care, Y/N.”

“You too.” 

You watched as he walked down the pathway towards the sidewalk. You didn’t shut the door until he was out of sight. Once you couldn’t see him anymore, you shut the door. Feeling tears well up in your eyes, you made your way up to your room, not wanting to speak to your parents for the rest of the day.  

You don’t speak much to your family the rest of your time there, both of them being too busy to entertain you anyways. You spend your time watching Netflix, consuming as many nature documentaries as you possibly could. When you do talk with your parents, it’s very superficial things over the dinner table. 

The strange hot presence still lingers around you, although not as badly as it was when you were at the dorms. It felt weaker almost, like there wasn’t enough fuel around for it to continue. Despite its hindrance, the dreams were still prevalent, but not as bad as they were. The only thing in the dreams were dark eyes and the handsome stranger that they belonged to staring at you. You’d wake up in a cold sweat, those eyes never leaving your mind. You should’ve been relieved that the torment you had been experiencing was finally ceasing, it was the moment you had been praying for. But you almost missed it? You didn't understand why, seeing how the heat always made you feel dirty and shameful. Yet the moment you realized it was gone, you wanted it back. 

The presence must’ve somehow read your mind because the last day of Spring Break, it had returned in full force. As you slept, you dreamt of the same man, loitering in the corner of the room observing you. Heat surrounded your body as he stared, taking the form of hands as it spread across your skin. As it groped you, you felt your cock harden in your boxers. A moan slipped out involuntarily. You didn’t know what part of you missed this, writhing in warped pleasure; but you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand it. The invisible hands made their way over to your neglected member, slipping beneath the fabric of your underwear. A firm grip wrapped around your cock, squeezing it. You bit your lip, trying your best to prevent any noises from falling from you. The invisible hand began to pump you at an agonizingly slow pace, driving you mad. But just before you reached that sweet release. Your eyes snapped open, your body still covered in the blazing heat. 

A low whine escaped you as you slowly came to your senses. Unable to bear the sweltering heat, you pulled off your covers, exposing your sweat-soaked skin to the cool air of your bedroom. You could still feel the aching hard on in your boxers. You were so close to coming in your dream, and you probably still were even now. It probably wouldn’t even take much if you were to-

No. You couldn’t do that. You couldn’t touch yourself. It was wrong, but you could feel your cock practically begging for it to be touched. Your eyes began to burn with tears as you came to your decision. You squeezed your eyes shut as your trembling hand traveled over your boxers. You give yourself an experimental squeeze, eliciting a gasp from you. You then slid your hand underneath.

Your tip was already leaking pre-cum and you hissed as you smeared it with your thumb. You pumped your cock at a cautious pace. Letting out a cry as you struggled to make yourself feel as good as you did in the dream.

“What did I do to deserve this?” You whined out.

“You did nothing.” A deep voice has you sitting up in bed, your hand still loosely wrapped around your cock. The voice is familiar, you’ve heard it before. You know you have. The voice came from the corner of your room, it’s dark for a moment before a figure stepped out from it.  Your breath caught as The man with the dark eyes that’s been haunting you for so long revealed himself. He was dressed in the same outfit from the club all those weeks ago; his animal print shirt more apparent in the low lighting of your bedroom.  You opened your mouth to ask who he was, but words failed to come out. You had to still be dreaming. You had to be stuck in some sort of dream hellscape now as your punishment for missing the torture. “I promise you, you’ve done absolutely nothing.” You watched as his lustful dark eyes drank in your desperate form, a proud smirk on his face.

“Then why is this happening to me?” Your voice returned to you as you pulled your hand from your boxers. “I can’t do this anymore, I want it to stop. Please make it stop.” You pleaded with the stranger as he walked over to your bed. If this was a dream, you might as well let it happen. 

“You want me to make it stop?” He asked, his hand finding your ankle, tracing up your leg. “How badly?”

“So bad. Please please please, I’ll do anything- give anything for it to stop, please!” You begged him. 

“Anything?” His hand traveled further up your leg, reaching your thigh.

“Yes, anything!” You cried.

“Give yourself to me and I’ll make it stop. Once I’m done with you, you won’t feel bad anymore. I promise.” He was dangerously close to your dick, his hand barely grazing over the soiled fabric. Tentatively, you nodded. The stranger’s face grew into a wicked grin as he leaned in close. “That’s all I need.”

Surging forward, his lips met yours, kissing you at a brutal, almost bruising pace. Distracting you with his mouth; his hand pressed against your cock, eliciting a whine from you that he swallowed as he kissed you. He pulled away from your lips, leaving you to chase after them. He cooed at your attempt, but shushed you. 

“I’m in charge here,” he whispered, nibbling a bit at your ear. He kissed down the column of your neck and chest, leaving behind a trail of red and purple marks. Marks that would be gone by the time you awoke from the dream. As he sucked on your neck, his hand slipped past the band of your boxers. “You’re so hard, aren’t you little boy?”

You nodded fervently. “Please.”

“Please what? Are you gonna use your words like a big boy?” He teased as his hand began pumping your cock at a much faster rate than you were, driving you to the edge almost instantly. 

“Fuck me! Please fuck me! I need it, make it stop, please!” You babbled, desperate for him to fulfill his promise and take it away; take away the heat, the pain, the want. Just take it all. You couldn’t stand it anymore. 

With his free hand, the stranger pushed you to lay back down on the bed. Now hovering over you, he kissed you again, licking at the seam of your lips for you to open up. To which you did, and you welcome the intrusion. His tongue tangled with yours as he played with you, drinking in your weak mewls.

You felt like the world was spinning all around you, unable to tell what was up from down or left from right. Your body heat rose little by little as the stranger pleasured you. You could feel your gut tighten, getting closer to orgasm. 

“I’m-I’m gonna-” You sputtered.

Just as you were about to reach your climax, he ripped his hand away, denying you your orgasm.

“No, no! You said you were gonna make it stop!”

“Not like that.” He leered as he pulled away from you. You weren’t given full time to mourn his presence or your orgasm, because he tugged down your boxers, your erection slapping against your stomach. Immediately you felt your face heat up as his eyes darkened. Your hands went to cover yourself, but his hands grabbed your wrists. “No.” He ordered. Meekly, you nodded as you dropped to your sides. 

He stepped away from your bed, you’re about to protest but the words died in your throat as he began to pull off his clothing. You watched in awe as he plucked the buttons of his shirt, revealing golden tan skin. With the shirt on, you didn’t quite gage how muscular he was, but it was evident by now that the man your mind had dreamt up was very well built. When he reached his belt buckle, your averted your eyes, evoking a laugh from him.

“You were fine watching me two seconds ago, don’t you wanna see the full thing, little boy?” He taunted you, the rustling of clothing evident in the background as he shucked off his remaining layers. “Take a look. No shame in that.”

Hesitantly, you turned your head, just in time to see him in his full glory. His cock stood hard and tall. You could feel your face growing hotter as you covered your eyes. He had the most delicious dick you’ve ever seen, granted it was the only one you’ve seen besides your own, but it was beautiful nonetheless. A string of perverted thoughts ran through your mind as you felt him rejoin you on the bed, but he didn't remove your hands. No, instead his hands rested at the back of your knees, pushing them up, showing off your tight little hole for him. 

The stranger held two fingers in front of your face. “Open.” You opened your mouth, and you’re barely given a second to process what he wanted before he pushed his fingers past your lips. “Get my fingers nice and wet. Need to prep you to make sure you can take me.” You were taken back at the order, but you complied, closing your lips around them. You dragged your tongue all over the digits in your mouth before they’re removed. 

You watched as his hand disappeared from your vision. “Eyes on me.” His other hand on your jaw, forcing you to lock eyes with him. You feel the cool, wet appendage against the ring of muscles. Flinching, you tried to wiggle away from him, but his grip on you tightened. You mewled at the feeling, a mix of discomfort and pleasure. “Stay still and look at me!” You stilled as he pushed his finger into you up to  his knuckle. “Shit, you’re so tight. How are you gonna take my cock? Hmm?” He mused to himself as his fingers started to slide in and out of you. You fisted at your sheets, needing something to ground you from the pleasure that was building in you. He was able to stretch you open enough to take two, then three fingers before he declared you ready. 

Once his fingers are out of you, you feel a moment of emptiness before you feel his tip against your hole, already pushing in. Glancing up at him, you watched as a glob of spit fell from his lips, directly onto the head of his dick as he sank into you. A shiver ran down your spine as the spit came in contact with your sensitive hole. He was a good inch or two in before he slammed his hips down into you. 

A strangled moan at the sudden fullness. The dreams you had have never felt this good, this real. You were going to hate yourself in the morning, but you didn't care. You couldn’t care anymore. The stranger promised to make it stop, you weren’t sure how he was going to as a figment of your imagination, but maybe it was a way of convincing yourself to get it over with.

At the sound of your moan, he slapped a hand over your mouth. “As much as I’d love to hear those sweet noises of yours. . . I don’t think we want your parents to wake up and see their good little boy taking cock, now do we?”

His words don’t quite register as he started thrusting into you at a harsh pace. Any other sounds you make are muffled by his hand, making the only sounds in the room the lewd slap of skin against skin. You could feel every ridge of his cock as he pushed in and out of you, driving you delirious. You squeezed your eyes shut, but a harsh slap against your thigh forces you to open them. 

“Hey, I didn’t say you could close your eyes.” He growled. “I want you to look at me while I fuck you open, like the dirty whore you are. Keep them open, or I’ll make sure your parents hear.” His eyes flashed red as he spoke, his threat sounding very real. Your breath hitched as with another pound of his hips, reality came crashing down. 

You weren’t dreaming. The man on top of you- the man inside you was real. The stranger was very real and you were actually having sex with him! Your eyes widened, unable to look away from the filthy sin you were committing, and with a stranger no doubt! Tears burned in your eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. Before you knew it, your lips were moving against his hand  in silent prayers for forgiveness. 

 When the stranger felt your lips moving against his palm, he removed his hand. His face curving into a wicked smile. He must’ve gotten some sick kick out of it as he picked up his pace, thrusting into you faster. The tears that welled up in your eyes started to spill, rolling down your cheeks as you sputtered uncontrollably. Your grip on your sheets tightened as you felt the familiar build up of your orgasm coming up. 

Leaning down to whisper in your ear, he asked. “Do you want me to stop?” 

More tears falling down, you responded. “No.” You wanted this. You wanted this so bad, you didn’t want it to stop. At the moment, you didn’t care if God would send you to Hell because you had gay sex. All you felt-all you wanted was to cum. “No, fuck me. Please, I wanna cum.”

The wicked grin spread across his face once again as he pistoned his hips faster and faster into you. His hand goes to your neglected cock that you’d just realized had been leaking more all over your stomach. Your dick in hand, he began pumping it as best he could while keeping pace with his thrusts. Releasing your grip on your sheets, your hands wrapped around his shoulders pulling him close as you feel yourself inching towards the edge. 

“I-I’m- I’m gonna-” You hiccupped as your gut got tighter and tighter. 

“You’re gonna cum? Huh, all over my cock like a filthy slut?” He jeered as he bucked into you. 

“Yes-! Fuck-! I’m-” You sobbed as he pounded into you, his grip on your cock driving you further into delirium. With another slam of his hip, you cum; spurting out over his hand and your stomach. He rode you through your orgasm, mumbling nonsense to himself. You didn’t quite understand what he was saying, only catching a few phrases about how tight you were and something about his home. With each thrust from him, it sent you further into overstimulation.  

“Gonna fill you with my cum- fuck. Such a good whore.” He groaned. With one last snap of his hips, he joined you in ecstasy; painting your insides white with his essence. He managed a few more sloppy thrusts, before collapsing on top of you.

You both laid there for a few moments, your breaths mixing as you panted. You laid there, bodies hot and sticky before the stranger looked at you. His lips met yours for one more lazy kiss, all tongue and teeth before pulling away and out of you. Your body whined at the loss of his touch. 

With him gone though, the fog in your mind began to clear and you realized what you had done. You felt sick and gross and dirty. But it felt so good. It felt good to give in, to not care about what anyone else thought. The conflicted feelings swirled around you, trying to fully understand what or or why, but all you could do was stare blankly at the ceiling. 

Turning your head to voice your spiral, the stranger shushed you. 

“Shhh, rest, Y/N. Shh.” Saying your name for the first time that night. 

Your body heeded his words, growing tired with each passing moment. But your mind started racing with questions rose up as your eyelids felt heavier and heavier. What had happened? How did he know your name? What was his name? How even did he get in here? You wanted to ask them, but your body was slowly starting to fail, not allowing you to stay lucid enough to question him. The last thing you saw was his smirking face above you.

Your eyelids were heavy the following morning, not wanting to wake up and face the day. You expected any moment for your mother to burst into the room, saying she’s making you goodbye pancakes. But she doesn’t. The longer you wait, the more you realize, you don’t even smell pancakes. You don’t even smell the familiar scent of your parent’s laundry detergent. It was darker and musky.

Your eyes snapped open and you didn't recognize the ceiling. You didn’t know where you were. You attempted to sit up but every muscle in your body screamed in pain. You wondered what you could’ve done to have your body hurt so much, but then the last night’s activities flashed through your mind: the stranger, sex, giving into him. A deep pit of guilt began to build as it all hit you like a truck. 

Ignoring the burning pain in your body as you sat up in bed. Red sheets pooled at your waist as you looked around. You were in a room no bigger than your own with not much furniture besides the large bed you were currently in. Feeling someone shift beside you, you glanced down, meeting the eyes of the stranger lying down next to you.

“What? Did you think I’d let you go after just one round?”

[bukojuiice]

— when they read self-insert fanfictions of themselves

ೃ pairings: (izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugo, and shoto todoroki, x gn! reader)

ೃ  tags: headcanons, tooth rotting fluff and a lot of fanfic cliches

ೃ warnings: none

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha masterlist  → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ if you want to be a part of my taglist, answer this form! ♡

ೃ inspired by the wonderful @leafydraws self-aware bakugo and todoroki art that gave me the serotonin boost to make this! 🥺​

KATSUKI BAKUGO: 

- katsuki knows. he's read it all. mutual pining, enemies to lovers, amnesia fics, fairytale aus, soulmate aus... name it and he's read them at least once. behind your back of course. simply because he’d be too embarrassed to even admit it anyway.

- he’s secretly a hopeless romantic. it's a cute quirk of his that he doesn't want anyone else to know and has become one of the qualities that you absolutely adore about him. his mother's fascination for rom-coms and romance novels (which, according to him, he had to "suffer" through when he was a kid) fueled his hidden interest in shoujo mangas.

- he reads them because of the beautiful art and the "cool and bad-ass" male love interests that he wants to portray in real life to impress you. but alas, your man just outright exposes himself when you catch him reading Ouran High School Host Club and My Little Monster, two manga series that feature adorkable and care-free male protagonists whom are the exact opposite of everything your boyfriend stands for.

- and so, romance fics are not a foreign concept to him. he's especially interested in mafia aus because he is absolutely enthralled over the fact that people headcanon him as a sexy mafia boss or in royal aus, where he’s this hot and bad-ass king of a prosperous kingdom. you bet he reads them at 3 in the morning on AO3 with his phone's brightness on the low. sometimes, he tries to sniff away his tears because how are these writers able to write him damn good? it’s the ✨characterization and hurt/comfort for bakugo ✨

SHOTO TODOROKI:

- your icy-hot cutie has absolutely no idea what fanfictions are. in fact, he doesn’t even know how (y/n)/reader-insert fics even work or how you’re supposed to read them.

- fanfiction is a very foreign concept to him. well, it isn’t necessarily your traditional book or novel that you can find on your shelf or in the bookstore like harry potter or percy jackson, so you understood his naivete on this particular subject very well. when you introduced shoto to the concept of fanfiction and it’s online community however, it was as if he had opened the doors to a new world.

- “what does (y/n) mean?” he innocently asks one time. (oh god he’s truly a pure and sweet cinnamon roll who could do nothing wrong in this world.) “it means your name.” you reply promptly, quietly giggling at your boyfriend’s curiosity.

“oh... so should i read it like this? shoto gazed into shoto’s heterochromatic eyes..?”

“shoto babe, t-that’s... not how you read it love.”

- shoto is a fluff connoisseur through and through. baby fics, friends to lovers, sharing a bed, and coffee shop aus are some of his all-time faves. he likes to read fics that are easier to understand and read ones that can bring a quick smile to his face. but, there are times when he gets too invested. one of those times was when he became a little too immersed into a 50k word angst fic (a genre he barely reads by the way) and his pretty eyes are so glued to the screen that when he finished it, he spent half of the entire day being consoled by you because of how emotionally hurt and affected he was. that fic truly made an impact on him and it was going to take a long time before he could gain the courage to read another one soon.

IZUKU MIDORIYA:

- you’ve always known how bookish izuku is from the very beginning. how observant he is, how he tends to ramble and talk about things passionately and in detail are truly some of the traits of someone who reads a lot. it’s no surprise though. izuku is quite a nerd and a fanboy, so him reading stories online about All Might or of superheroes he sees on movies and comic books were not far off.

- in fact, he reads the fics with you. it’s like having a little ol’ book club but only you and your seaweed-haired boyfriend were the only members. magic aus, cross-overs, canon divergence, historical aus, or just anything story-heavy and detailed are his most read. slow burn fics is also where it's ar for him! what’s even better is that you read some of these long ones with him sometimes and its cute to see him so immersed and you just want to pinch his cheeks.

- izu’s really into reading multi-chapter fics. one that can rival actual existing books and novellas. 50k words? that wasn’t a challenge for him. he’d read through everything and he’d ponder over them right after. discussing them with you and just a lot of cute little rambles coming from him that make you fall for him even more.

- when izuku finally gathered the courage to read self-insert fics of him, his flustered expression and shy composure had no end. he was blushing all through out when he read his first drabble (which was only composed of 300 words by the way) because he’s so in awe and so grateful over the fact that people write stories about him and now, it feels like he's part of those same famous people and characters he used to read stories of.

ೃ taglist: @chibishae34 ​  @lovelytarou ​ @ramunegoddess ​, @serossimpy​ @laudthingcat @f0leysgurl

[jesslockwood]

Photo Opportunities

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing(s): Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Warnings: FLUFF with a slightly (barely) suggestive sentence towards the end 

A/n: damn I can't write anything except actress reader? smh but this is for @londonspidey ‘s sit-com Writing challenge (ik I'm early lol) but I was so excited I wrote the whole thing in one go lmao the prompt is bolded!

Calling yourself a fan was an understatement. You were obsessed with anything and everything marvel. And oddly enough, you could after today say you were in the club. It wasn’t a public fact yet, until later that day actually, at the Marvel panel at comic con that you were being announced as the actress for the character, Felica Hardy and no one else knew except for the people who cast you and your best friend who signed an NDA. You were technically still a known actress for your roles on television mainly as Thalia on the PJO Disney + series and a couple of still decently sized films. 

You were currently wrapping up signing autographs for fans of yours for today. Your team had planned it out so it wasn’t suspicious that you were at the con with a few of your castmates scattered doing other junkets and press so people wouldn’t guess who they were acting as the cast for new marvel projects. 

You had been planning to go meet your best friend, who wasn’t in the industry before getting a text that she bought you both a photo-op with someone and she wouldn’t tell you who. You couldn’t only assume it was a marvel actor that you would indeed, freak out. 

Y/b/n: btw I brought you a mask. I get the wig lol.

You: please tell me it doesn’t cover my full face. Also, how are we posing?

Y/b/n: I bought as many photo ops as I could so a lot of different ones, And if I tell you the poses it’ll spoil it.

You: is this with the money I pay you to be my assistant with? Lol fine I’m omw with security

Y/b/n: maybe… 

Y/b/n: and they’ll need more backup security for who we’re getting a photo op with than you do for your hellfire.

You roll your eyes before taking your stuff and exiting the booth, before heading out the backways with staff security and your detailed security for the day. You only had security because you wanted to explore the con when you weren’t needed.

Your best friend had also been your assistant for the con weekend, but you didn’t want her to be confined to you the whole three days so when she could, you would let her explore it, at least she could experience it as a fan, right?

When you made it to that part of the building, you wanted to wait in line with her, which your security didn’t agree to so she texted you when there were about five people ahead of her. She was one of the last in line, with you asking her to be kind, so others would get their chance to be first with whomever it was. 

When she texted you and your detailed exit, getting a few stares and others taking their phones out to either take photos or tweet, you wave at them before joining your best friend in line.

“Here,” she says before handing you none other than a black cat mask before she puts on a red wig. 

You glare at her slightly trying to not make a scene, before putting it on. 

“I’m assuming you're Mary Jane?” you laugh figuring out that it had to be someone from Spider-Man.

“How’d you- never mind.” She laughs with you.

She then explains how she’s going to pose for your five photo ops, joking in between how she should “get a raise for this”.

You catch sight of him before sucking in your breath. This was either going to go down amazingly or terribly, there was no in-between with you. 

“Excuse Me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?”

You turn around and are met by some fans who were standing in line behind you.

“I am! How’s your con going?” you ask politely to the two of them.

“It's going amazing! We love you as Thalia! Could we maybe get a picture? Only if it’s okay?”

“Of course! Thank you for supporting me!” your best friend grabs their phone to take the photo, before you take off the mask, and stand between the two fans, and your best friend snaps a few photos. 

“Thank you so much! And Are you fans of Tom?”

You start slowly walking back to catch up to the line. 

“Yeah, I love him as Spiderman, but I also enjoy his other roles. He's very talented, I'd love to work with him one day!” 

“Have you seen him in Uncharted?  We love Him as Nathan drake!”

“I have, he was amazing per usual! How are you two posing with him?”

They show you their innovative pose. You laugh and tell them it's great before you have to wish them goodbye before heading up for your turn for the photo op. 

“How do we want to pose- hang on, I recognize you!”

You freeze slightly before your friend mouths for you to flirt. You look down at the mask in your hand before getting into character and saying “Of course you do Spidey, I'm always causing you trouble.” you put on the mask and wink. 

He seems slightly stunned, laughing, feeling like he’s seen you somewhere, not only because he found you extremely gorgeous, while in his peripheral vision he sees his brother/ assistant, Harry waving like a madman on the side. 

Your friend directs you both through the poses, first, one both him putting “webs” onto you as she looks over his shoulder, the second one, both of you kissing his cheeks, the third, all jumping in the air in your best superhero poses, the fourth one she gets a photo op alone and the last one she gives to you,

“Seriously, who are you?”

“Your Wildest dreams, baby,” you say, taking off the mask. 

Your best friend yells “freestyle” from the sidelines before Tom dips you, gently, with you shocked, holding the mask out with your free arm and the photo captures that moment. 

 He gently helps you stand back up fully, not before you drop the mask.

“Nice moves Spider-Man.”

“Not so bad yourself, Black Cat.”

You laugh before, taking off with your best friend, well more her dragging you to the printing station leaving the mask behind. Tom picks it up before shoving it in his back pocket to hopefully give back if he could find you. 

-

`You were sitting in the green room, trending on Twitter before you were actually supposed to be trending on Twitter, and god knows where else.  

Someone had snuck a video of you and Tom, up till him dipping you, and a video of you interacting with the fans in the line.

Your Y/b/n was currently reading off some tweets out loud

“‘A kind queen we stan.’  I agree, I also agree with ‘Date her if you can't date me tom!!!’.

‘THALIA AND PETER PARKER??? My two fandoms have collided.’ same, same. Oo this one says, ‘if she ain’t playing black cat I will sue marvel.’ I'm dying at the reply ‘She needs to post the photos or I'll sue her!’. This one’s funny, ‘she could squash him like a bug in heels but he liked his queen like that.’.”

She pauses watching you texting.

“Y/n? Y/n?”

“What? Sorry I was only half listening. I was texting my publicist. She said to stay on the DL until tonight. 

“Well we should get food, you haven't eaten since this morning.”

“By the way, your show has shot to number one on Disney +. Also, you have like three times the followers you had before, probably cause you're trending on every platform, even Tumblr!”

“Wow you should just become my social media manager now.” you joke trying to ease the joy yet weirded out feeling in your stomach.

“Does that come with a raise? Because after today I've spent way too much of what I'm paid.” she jokes back.

-

After finishing his photo ops Tom asked Harry who she was and to find out. By the time he finished autographs for the day, Tom and Harry walked to the panel room in the back for announcements, one that included him for the new Avengers movie, while Harry gave him the rundown.

“So she’s an actress, she plays Thalia on Disney plus’ Percy Jackson series, and that's her most known project. The other girl with her is her assistant best friend, and now she's trending everywhere. People dug up some old photos of her being a marvel/Spider-Man fan, so there's that. And she's here at the con for the rest of the weekend. She's doing photo ops tomorrow at one, and yes she's single from what I gather since you were looking at her like this.” he makes a weird face before tom smacks him.

“And plus you have time in your schedule to get a photo op with her, that is if you eat lunch quickly.”

That gave Tom an idea. 

“Harry I’m going to need you to book me one, oh and help me find a Spider-Man costume!” He says, before leaving harry to do ‘assistant’ work. entering the green room for the announcements, watching them announce a new movie.

“We are so excited to announce to the Marvel Universe, and spider-verse-” that perked tom’s ears, “-directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, and today we are announcing our amazing Miss Felicia Hardy, please give a warm welcome to the stage, Your Black Cat!”

You suddenly emerged in an aisle way, dressed in all black with a leather jacket, black ankle boots, and of course black sunglasses indoors.

The music is marvel music until it suddenly changes after a recorded laugh from you into “I can’t be tamed by Miley Cyrus”.

You start owning the music while saying hi and touching fans’ hands. You decide to take off your sunglasses and throwing them to a fan, for them to keep, before getting on stage.

“What a Performance from the one the only Y/n Y/l/n!”

You laugh, being met with the loudest applause you had heard all con before being handed a Mic. 

“Thank you but I'm a terrible dancer.” You Joke.

Tom was staring at the screen stunned. You had been the black cat all along. You were in the marvel universe and spidey one,  so he'd definitely be seeing more of you. The hard part is that you seemed so genuine when you talked, interacted with fans and was no doubt, stunning. 

“Better close your mouth or the flies will get in.” Tom turns around to find the voice of none other than his friend slash bully, Sebastian Stan, along with Anthony Mackie.

“Looks like the kid has a crush!” Anthony laughs, pointing to the screen you were on.

“I-I don’t! I don’t even know her!” Tom tries to come to his own defense, hopelessly.

“She’s got you whipped already don’t even deny it.” Harry comes in, joining the teasing of one, Tom Holland.

“Maybe we can invite her out for drinks tonight, then fanboy over here can meet her, and then probably scare her off!” Anthony mentions.

“You haven’t looked on the internet? They’ve already met.” Seb says, before showing Anthony twitter. 

Anthony stands there slightly shocked before bursting into laughter.

“Well, she’s damn well a keeper for Tom since she obviously likes him.”

A staff member peaks their head in the green room to tell Tom he’s up next.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave you two!”

On the other hand, you were on an adrenaline high from being on stage, and seeing all the fans. You knew tomorrow was going to be crazy, as you expected people to book your photo op left and right since the announcement. 

You had decided to decline an offer from your fellow marvel universe castmates, Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie, which they so graciously told you that whenever you’re free, the offer still stood. 

You had gotten to your hotel room seeing your phone blowing up on the social media apps for the second time that day. 

You responded to the important stuff, before heading to bed, knowing it was going to be hectic.

-

You had been right, it was absolutely insane, the number of people who showed up. You had fully booked all your time slots for photo ops. You had seen so many people dressed up in marvel cosplay, ranging from Loki to Ironman, even some people dressed up as your character, which was wildly insane to see.

You had been nearing the end of the line and had enjoyed every moment with the fans, and you couldn’t wait for your autographing session later that day, to truly get a chance to talk to the fans and connect with them and how they felt about you being their beloved Black Cat. 

After a few more photos, posing how they wanted, you see a fully dressed, head to toe, mask and all, Spider-Man. You had seen some spider-mans but most took off their masks to snap a picture. The person was the last in line. 

“Hey Black Cat.” The southern American accented voice tells you, seeming very familiar. 

“Hey, Spider, what poses do you have up your sleeve?” you ask kindly.

“I bought a few, Cat.” they laugh.

“Okay, You can do whatever a spider can right?” you pull out a line out of the comics jokingly.

“I can do flips if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.” you laugh. 

“I really can, but this is one.”

He gets down on one knee, holding a black cat mask instead of a ring. The photographer captures the shocked expression on your face.

“I- Don’t- What- Spider I-” 

“Ow My feelings…” Suddenly their voice changes into a British accent before they pull off the mask to reveal-

“Tom?”

“I guess you don’t have a spidey sense darling?” The photographer captures the moment without warning eating the moment up. 

You laugh at that. 

“I guess you found out my true identity Spider. And it’s nice to officially meet you, Tom.”

He laughs, just as nervous as you, he notices he has gotten closer to you and a strand of hair loosely is blowing in your face, so naturally, he pushes it behind your ear. Another snap of the camera can be heard. 

“NOW KISS!” a voice belonging to your best friend yells from the side, mid-eating a churro.

You both laugh really hard at that.

The both of you calm down, slowly leaning lost in the moment. The camera snaps again. You both look at the photographer weirded out, and they just shrug.

“Wait can you actually do a flip?” you ask, pulling away, not wanting prying eyes aka the photographer, to pry in your business. 

“I can, though I’d show you later, maybe in the greenroom?”

“That sounds naughty, but, sure.” you joke around. 

He laughs before, you both take off from the area going to grab the photos.

-

After spending most of the day together when you could, you get Tom’s number, before heading back to your hotel room. He texts you as soon as you get back. 

Spider: I had fun today, minus finding our assistants making out.

You: we should ‘snog’ too, it’ll gross them out ;)

You: I had fun too btw. Are you leaving tomorrow?

Spider: lol we should. And yeah an early flight, 6 am to be exact. Hbu?

You: Yeah me too... another day another dollar lol

Spider: ill miss you, Cat.

You: stop talking like we’ll never see each other again lol. As a matter of fact, come to my room, we’re watching a movie!

Spider: alright, I’ll order snacks. 

  You sigh smiling at your phone. You haven’t felt this giddy in a long time.

Your phone pings with a few Instagram notifications.

Tomholland2013 has started following you.

Tomholland2013 has tagged you in a photo.

You open Instagram to find the photo of him “proposing” to you posted.

“Ow, my leg, my- feelings...Welcome to the Universe, Cat.” the photo is captioned. You decide to post, the photo of him dipping you.

“So what do you say, Spider? Wanna help me pull off the Heist of the Heist of the Century?” you caption it, Before getting comfortable to watch a movie. 

What an opportunity ;)

Tags:

@lolooo22 @webmeupspiderdaddy @harryhollandsgirlfriend @spideyspeaches @greenorangevioletgrass @queenofthepouges @sheranatic111 @keithseabrook27

[chasingpj]

𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞

"You’re really sweet, water boy.”

pairing: percy jackson x child of hecate!reader

words: 5,379

warnings: angsty, mentions of breaking down, one curse word

timeline: post sea of monsters

if you want to be tagged every time I update this story click here

a/n: hi hi! I hope you guys like this chapter. If you have any feedback let me know. i've read this chapter over like 1,000 times while editing so i can't even give my own opinion on this chapter lol. i hope someone likes it at least cause i'm a little iffy about this one.

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six

“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality!”

The singing voices of the Apollo cabin harmonize as Atticus stands in the middle of their cabin, eyes closed with his arms swaying side to side in the air. You sit against the window frame at the end of the room, your lips curl in a soft smile as Harvey prances around his feet, enjoying the spotlight as much as Atticus is. You were glad that Atticus was still up for karaoke night despite his mood. Although you didn’t plan on coming yourself, you had hoped that he would as he needed it as an outlet to let loose. A part of you wasn’t surprised when Atticus was begging you to come with him, insisting that your plan of staying in and sleeping early was too lame for a Friday night at camp. You didn't want to make him upset so you decided to suck it up and go with him. Besides, you did need to get out.

The past few days, you’ve had your nose in books, drowning out your thoughts with everything from studying demonology to enjoying fantasy novels. You’ve been keeping an eye on Lou Ellen as well, noticing that she too was avoiding her feelings by drowning herself with books back to back. And now, as a result of your similar coping mechanism, you two have an exclusive book club where you spend hours reading and mercilessly criticizing Twilight. Meanwhile, Atticus has been up and around, constantly surrounding himself with people to distract him. He seemingly was doing fine on the surface, but it was a facade. Sorrow was radiating off of him like never before. Even if you didn’t have the ability to sense his emotions, his song choice for tonight was a dead giveaway. Bohemian Rhapsody is his comfort song.

“I’m just a poor boy. I need no sympathy!” Atticus sings passionately into the microphone. Cheers break throughout the cabin, and you giggle, joining in, cupping your mouth as you whoop for him. You look over at Lou Ellen, talking and laughing with a few girls across the room. You smile, content that for right now, the two of them are occupied and happy. You, however, couldn’t get into the mood. Sure, the chaos of the Apollo Cabin easily entertained you, but you were having trouble shaking off the heavy feeling in your chest. You frown, your hand coming down to pet the top of Ambrose’s head, the other nuzzling his snout against your leg to comfort you. You look down at him, smiling softly as a silent thank you, and you sigh, hoping to lighten the feeling in your chest, but to no avail, it remained.

A nudge on your shoulder draws in your attention, and you turn to face the boys standing to your left. You meet Lee Fletcher’s bright blue orbs, a smile plastered on his flushed face.

“You’re next!” He shouts over the music, pointing his index finger at you in the same hand he held a red solo cup in. You scrunch your face, moving a little closer to him and the group so they’ll be able to hear you.

“I’m not really in the performance mood tonight,” you say, and the immediate protests from the boys around him made you smile. They insisted that you had to sing tonight and that they were going to make sure you went after your brother. On any other night, you would have agreed, gladly taking the mic. You weren’t a stranger to singing karaoke, and you had to admit you did enjoy it just as much as Atticus did. Last week, you sang an interesting rendition of Wannabe by the Spice Girls with Lou Ellen, Silena, Katie, and Sage. You were Scary Spice, of course; you wouldn’t have been anyone else. But tonight, you were unable to see yourself singing. Now that the boys returned to whatever they were talking about, you were planning your escape. You tune back into the song, realizing that Atticus was almost finished.

“Nothing really matters; anyone can see. Nothing really matters. Nothing really matters, to mee.”

You take a deep breath for a moment, accepting your fate. It’s only one song, you tell yourself; it’ll be quick. You cringe, expecting to be pushed up to the front by the others any second now. Suddenly, chanting fills the cabin,

“Encore, encore!"

Atticus smiles, bowing like a Broadway actor as the crowd cheers. You sigh, relieved, and you hoped whatever he picked would be able to conceal your exit. There was no way Atticus was going to pass up the microphone, and over the chanting, he announced his next song choice: Dancing Queen.

He’s so depressed.

You didn’t want to miss your opportunity, slowly scooting yourself away from Lee Fletcher and the others. As the instrumental of Dancing Queen fills the cabin, a chunk of people get up from the bunk beds and the floor to dance and sing along. You take your chance now that everyone is distracted, and you walk into the crowd, carefully weaving through bodies.

The cool summer night air was refreshing on your skin compared to the stuffiness of the crowded cabin. The collective singing of Dancing Queen becomes faint as you make it across the camp. You didn't realize how loud the song was while you were in there, and you could just imagine what the other cabins were doing. You couldn’t help but smile at the idea of an annoyed Ares' cabin, all of them with pillows covering their ears in an attempt to drown out the music and screaming.

By the time you reached the beginning of the woods, the disco instrumental was long gone, and you took in the stillness of the night. There was barely a breeze tonight; the only sounds were the faint chattering of campers hanging around the hearth and taking walks. You stare into the forest, uncertain if you should venture by yourself. You hear a soft whine come from Ambrose, signaling you that it was a bad idea. It was a couple of hours away from curfew, and you can already hear the faint roars of monsters. That wasn’t enough to turn you away, though. Your desire to be somewhere silent was more prominent than your fear of the monsters.

You walk in without another thought, your pace slow and slack, and Ambrose unwillingly follows close behind you, checking around to make sure you are safe. As you walk farther in the forest, the thoughts you had sent to the back of your mind were returning with a vengeance.

The departure of your siblings felt surreal. When you had woken up to their empty beds the next day, you had chosen to believe they had left for breakfast earlier than usual and that everything that happened was a dream. Yet, as the days went by, the absence of your siblings became more apparent. A part of you refused to grieve. You had wanted to declare your brothers as monsters and convince yourself that you didn’t care. You had hoped that deciding to hate them would allow you to move on, but even that came with a desolate aftertaste.

You had blacked out in your thoughts, allowing your feet to take you where they wished, and you find yourself at a familiar boulder. You look to your left at the picnic table, staring longingly at it. It was quiet for a moment before the sight of your brother and sisters sitting on the top of the picnic table, their feet resting on the bench, appeared. They sat quietly, Atticus frowning as he looked out in the forest.

“Focus on your breathing. You won’t shift if you’re impatient.” Your gaze snaps in the direction of the voice. You saw yourself slouched in defeat as Alabaster’s hands gripped your shoulders. His green eyes peered into yours.

You were the only one that hadn’t become ethereal after trying for the past 30 minutes. Atticus had transformed on his second try, Lou Ellen on her third, and the others followed close after. But you had lost count, growing more tired and discouraged after every failed attempt. Alabaster noticed you were on the verge of tears, your lip trembling, and he easily saw that you were crawling into a bad headspace.

“I can’t do it,” you sniffled, feeling embarrassed as your siblings waited for you. You were aware they weren’t judging you and had instead been encouraging you the entire time, but you still felt ashamed. The voices in your mind taunted you, making you forget any positive feedback you received that day. You were the weakest link of the group. You were never going to be powerful as your brothers, and so you’ll never be recognized by your mother, it said.

“You can, Y/n. You’re getting too in your head,” Al reassured you, his hands falling to his side, taking a step back. You were confident that he had given up on you, and you didn’t blame him. You looked down at the ground and fiddled with your fingers. It was silent for a moment before you heard him sigh.

“Try again,” he said softly.

You groaned and rolled your eyes at yourself. You were drained from trying so long, and you were ready to accept your defeat and stomp away. You looked at Alabaster again as he patiently waited for you.

You swallowed hard, and you closed your eyes as you heard the encouraging words of your siblings. Their words failed to cancel out the negative thoughts in your own head, though. You were already bothered by the little voice that said you would never transform. You dwelled on being the last one and what made you feel worse was that it was nighttime - when your magic is at its strongest - yet you still hadn’t transformed. Maybe you weren’t as powerful as your brothers gave you credit for. Disappointment swirled in your stomach, clouding your brain, and your fist clenched as you tried to shake off the thoughts in your head. You were well aware that your mindset was holding you back. You inhaled deeply, somehow finding the will to set aside your negative thoughts.

You decided you won’t allow yourself to be the only person who couldn’t transform. You weren’t going to let your insecurity of being the “weakest link” get to you, at least not on that night. You huffed out and felt a tug in your core before your fingertips and toes began to vibrate. You gasped, and your eyebrows furrowed tightly, the vibrating sensation gradually becoming more intense to the point where it almost hurt.

You heard an excited cheer come from one of your sister's lips as the feeling crept up your arms and legs. It finally met your core, and it was as if a ball of warm, electric energy sat right in the pit of your stomach. You opened your eyes, immediately seeing the bright smile on Alabaster’s face. A relieved laugh came from your lips as a few tears ran down your face from your previously pent-up anger.

“I told you.”

You snap back to reality, looking around you to see that you were still alone. No one was at the picnic table other than Ambrose, who was laid down at the foot of it, watching you cautiously. You swore you heard the sound of Al’s voice as if he was right in front of you, but that wasn’t possible. As much as you wished for it to be, you knew your siblings were long gone.

Though you were incredibly grateful for Atticus and Lou Ellen deciding to stay, the dynamic that your siblings had as a whole was something that you wouldn’t be able to get back. Now it was the three of you, left to figure things out on your own. It’s not as if you three were incapable of figuring things out, but you’ll miss your brother's guidance.

You think perhaps if your mother didn’t give them the okay to leave, they would have never left. You couldn’t help but be mad at her, and lately, you’ve been a little petty towards your mom. Tonight, you had decided to go to dinner and dedicate your burned offering to Hestia instead. You’ve been praying to her every night as well, hoping that maybe she’d be able to bring your siblings back to you.

You hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary to inform you if your mother was aware of your silence or if she cared. You also found yourself wondering what she thought of you for not leaving. How could she not visit you? Were you really not worth, maybe, five minutes of her time? Did you have to prove yourself worthy? If so, how? You were yearning to know, but even for that, you were unable to find the answer.

Your jaw clenches, feeling your sorrow shifting to rage in your core. Take a deep breath, Ernest would say, and you do, filling your lungs to their capacity, and you hold it. Think of your surroundings. Meditate on the question: If I erupt, will I hurt someone? If the answer is yes, take a step back, breath in for 10 seconds, out for another 10 until you’re calm. If the answer is no… well, fuck it. Everyone needs to be angry sometimes.

Your head tilts slightly, taking in the clear night sky for a moment. From your peripheral vision, you can see your green aura wildly swirling and flickering around you. You close your eyes, and your chest expands, ready to release the air you’ve been holding. There was no rustling of the trees or grass, no monster screams, no sounds of the surrounding camper. The forest was still until it wasn’t as you let out a deafening scream.

After hearing the news of your siblings running away from camp at the counselor's meeting a few days ago, Percy had made a mental note to check up on you. In the time between his activities, he had checked the strawberry fields, the arts and craft center, even the arena in an attempt to find you. For a moment, he had thought you had left with them, but when he saw that Atticus was still at camp, he knew you had to be somewhere. It wasn’t until he passed by the Hermes dinner table the other day did he decide to ask your brother where you were. By then, you had not shown up for your meals for two days straight. Atticus told him that you weren’t doing too good, deciding to isolate yourself in the company of Lou Ellen. He had offered to let Percy come with him to drop off your dinner, but he had decided not to go.

He figured that you needed time for yourself, and he didn’t want to intrude. He was also worried if it would have been weird to check up on you. Surely, you were friends? You considered him as a friend, right? He hoped so since he had considered you one. He thought maybe he was overthinking it but then he began to worry that you would blame him. He had to do some mental gymnastics to come up with a reason why you would be mad at him, but he was able to come up with something. He would understand if you were mad at him since he is, well, suspected to be the child of the prophecy. So obviously, none of this would have happened if he wasn’t born? Right? He had told Annabeth about it, and from the way she blankly stared at him, he knew that the reason wasn’t solid, but still, he was nervous.

He was surprised to see you walk out of the Apollo Cabin. After hearing that you were hiding away, he didn’t expect you to attend one of the most lively events tonight. From afar, you seemed upset, but you also glinted with determination as you walked with purpose. He was seated with Annabeth, Grover, and Thalia by the campfire, listening to Annabeth ramble about the architecture of the Palace of Versailles to Thalia and Grover. It was her newest hyper fixation, and Percy had been listening though he got a little lost at some point. He didn’t want to lose his chance to approach you, not sure when the next opportunity would be so he quickly finished up the s’more he was eating before getting up from the bench.

“Um, I’ll be back,” he says. The only person who had heard him was Grover, who nodded to acknowledge him while Annabeth didn’t miss a beat in her ranting.

He checked in the usual places you would hang out in, but you were nowhere to be found. He found himself walking along the gravel road in front of the forest. He slows down, turning toward the trees and he hums,

“Did she go in there by herself?” He mutters softly, becoming concerned. It was kind of an unspoken rule that campers shouldn’t venture out on their own.

He looks over when he hears chattering, the wood nymphs slowly making their way out of the forest. They seemed to be gossiping about something as they huddle in a circle right outside of the trees. Percy found it strange that they were away from their homes, especially at this time, and he noticed they all looked a little stunned.

“Hey,” he smiles as he walks over to them. He halts hesitantly, the girls becoming quiet as they turn to him. “Have you guys seen, y/n?”

They exchange looks with each other, Juniper shifting on her feet as she stands in front of him. “Yeah…” she trails off, facing the dark trees. “Just keep walking. You’ll hear her.”

Percy furrows his eyebrows, unsure what they meant by that, but he takes their advice anyway. It didn’t take him long to find out what they meant, hearing your yelling before he saw you illuminating in the dark. He had imagined that you would be upset, but he definitely did not expect you to be yelling at the sky, rapidly throwing blasts of energy at a boulder.

Seeing you like this was odd. It was so different from the calm and collected demeanor that you gave off. He had considered you as the quieter twin. Compared to your brother, you weren’t as out there. He hadn’t seen you have many interactions with Atticus, but he could tell that you took on the big sister role. You just seemed more mature.

“How could you- how could you offer something like that?! I’ve never seen you once an- the first message I get from you is to join his stupid army! You took them from us!” You ignore the burning in your throat and the trembling of your arms. You felt lightheaded, and you didn’t know if it was due to how hard you were yelling or the amount of energy you were burning out. “I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING!” You shout weakly, looking up at the sky, hoping that your mother was listening to you. You wanted her to know how you felt betrayed, angry, and heartbroken.

Despite your anger, you still held back on what you said. You were wary not to push too far, preferring to not meet your mother's wrath the first time she visited you. You wanted an explanation; you wanted to hear the orders and the promises she made from herself. But you doubted she would appear.

Hot tears roll down your cheeks, your breath ragged, and you wail, blasting the last long beam you were able to muster at the boulder. You stumble from your own force, a sob leaving your lips, and your forearm wipes your tears.

“I really hope you know what you’re doing,” you strain in a whisper.

You gasp as you hear a twig snap behind you. You freeze in your spot, your heart beating hard in your chest. You were confident that you had summoned your mother. You took a deep breath, ready to face her, but to your surprise, you were met with Percy.

Percy's body tenses the moment you snap your gaze to him, swallowing hard as your glowing eyes bore right into his. He was hoping that his speculations of you being mad at him were wrong. The burning smell from your beams filled the air, and he definitely did not want to be charred up like that boulder. To his relief, he watches your clouded expression soften. He shifts, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Are you okay?” He asks, immediately cringing at himself afterward. Of course, she isn’t okay, why would you ask her that?

You sniffle, and you nod, “Yeah, I’m just doing my nightly prayers.” Though you tried to lighten up the mood, your voice was sad and hoarse.

Percy frowns, and he steps over a log in his way. He walks over to you as you plop down to sit on the grass with your legs crossed. Ambrose comes to your side, resting his head on your thigh, and you pet him softly.

“I heard what happened,” Percy’s tone is soft as he hesitantly invites himself to sit beside you. He wasn’t sure you wanted to be comforted right now, but you didn’t tell him to go away, so he took that as a good sign. He hums, looking down at his hands, “Travis reported it during the counselor meeting the day after,” he mentions. “Atticus told me you weren’t doing too well. I can’t do much, but if you want to talk about it, I’m listening.”

You didn’t want to dump everything on Percy, but the genuine concern in his tone made you feel comfortable enough to consider laying all your thoughts out on the table.

You haven't had the chance to discuss your feelings yet. There was a silent understanding between you, Atticus, and Lou Ellen that none of you were ready to bring it up and would rather go along your days pretending it didn’t happen. But as you continued to avoid it, it began to fester like an infected wound.

You were so lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize for how long you were quiet. In your silence, Percy waited patiently, not wanting you to feel pressured. Every once in a while, he would look over, noticing the flickering of your aura slowing down until it’s absorbed into your body, leaving you both with the soft white light coming from Ambrose’s body. If you decided not to talk about it, he told himself he wouldn’t pry, but he would be worried about you for keeping everything in.

You didn’t know how much Travis had said at the counselors meeting. Your mind was rushing with thoughts, asking yourself where you should start while also deciding if you should be completely honest with him. It wasn’t until now that you were faced with all the conflicting feelings you’ve had in the past few days. They came at you all at once, and a sniffle cuts through your silence. You sigh shakily, resting your head on Percy’s shoulder.

Percy looks down at you, able to make out some of your features in the dark. Your eyelids were a little puffy from crying, and you look exhausted. He frowns as a small sob leaves your lips, shifting to wrap his arm around your shoulders. He debated if he should say anything to you. He didn't find that this was a situation where an “it’s okay” was appropriate. Kronos was rising, war was on its way, and Luke was recruiting campers, 5 of those campers being your siblings. None of that was okay. He felt a pang in his chest, grasping on to the fact that you’d be fighting against them when it was time for battle.

“I’m sorry,” your voice quivers. You hated feeling as if you were losing control of your emotions. You didn’t want Percy seeing you like this, and you began to feel embarrassed.

“Don’t be sorry,” he shakes his head, and he opens his mouth to say something else but is too stunned when you pull away abruptly. Your gaze is fixed in the opposite direction as you try to catch your breath, hiccuping and gasping softly for a bit. “Y/n?”

“I almost left, and I feel guilty because a part of me regrets not leaving,” you blurted out the confession that was eating you up the most. It was what you were afraid to admit out loud, especially to Atticus and Lou Ellen. You didn’t want to admit that you, the one who found the courage to voice your opinion to your brothers, the one that declared she was staying at the camp, had begun to regret her decision. As much as you wished to not regret it, the what-if questions that filled your mind were hard to avoid. Were you actually missing out on the opportunity to be taught by your mother? Was it true what James said? Was deciding to stay a death wish?

You refused to look at Percy. You were wondering if he thought he was talking to a potential traitor to the camp. You were wondering if he would think of you differently now that you have confessed to having the slightest thought of joining Kronos.

Percy was lost for words, his face flashed with surprise, and he was glad you weren’t looking at him. He didn’t want you to think that he was judging you because he wasn’t; he was just taken aback. The tension between you started to thicken the longer he stayed quiet. His eyes scan the ground, frantically searching for something to say.

“Why did you stay?” He asks hesitantly.

Your teeth chew on the inside of your lip, and you now regret saying anything. You didn’t know if the shift in the air around the two of you was in your head, but either way, it bothered you.

“Because…” you trail off. The list of reasons why you stayed was long, and you didn’t want to go through all of them. You were determined to keep this conversation short, afraid that if you keep dwelling on this situation for too long, you will find more reasons to be angry.

“Because I’m not going to die for a cause I don’t believe in,” you declare. “I understand their side. I understand why they decided to leave. Alabaster was always saying that he wished things were different for us here at camp. I mean, so do I. They also had the approval of our mother, and they were promised to be taken care of if Kr- the Titan Lord wins. I can’t blame them for not giving that up because even I was hesitant to give it up,” you confess.

You sniffle softly, peeling the skin around your fingers before continuing, “But… for the change they're looking for, I don’t think this is the way to do it. Like really? Allying with him? Yeah, the gods are big jerks, but I don’t understand how he would be any different of a leader.” You sigh, “I considered leaving just to be with them, but I couldn’t go through with it. I wouldn’t feel right. I tried to convince them to stay, but they were set on leaving.”

Percy was quiet for a moment, and you found the courage to look up at him. His vision is fixed on the forest ahead before he meets your gaze. “I don’t think you should blame yourself for regretting not going. I think if I were in your position, I would have thought about the same things. They mean a lot to you. They’re your family.”

You nod, relieved that he understood where you were coming from. “Atticus was my last straw. If he had decided to leave, I would have left despite everything.”

“Understandable. He’s your twin,” Percy shrugs. You sigh shakily, your chest feeling a little lighter after being able to voice your thoughts. You felt more satisfied with yourself now. Your challenged morals felt solidified, and you decided with confidence that your choice was right for you.

“I give you a lot of props, Y/n. You were in a tough situation, and it must have been hard to stand your ground, especially since most of them decided to leave.”

“Yeah…” you say softly, and you realize that maybe you should have been kinder to yourself for having that feeling of regret.

“I think it’s really awesome what you did. Doing something like that takes a lot of guts,” Percy says, and you can hear the smile in his voice.

“Thanks…” you say shyly.

A soft smile plays on his lips, and he can tell you were starting to feel better. He was glad that he could help because he understood what you were feeling. He didn’t exactly go through the same thing, but he knew how it felt to second guess your choices and how it was easy to spiral when you dwelled on it for too long.

“You’re really sweet, waterboy. Thanks a lot," you say playfully as you return the smile. Your heart flutters as Percy’s face brightens before sheepishly looking away from you for a second.

He didn’t get compliments like that often. Well, he has, from his mom, but he didn’t count that. It wasn’t the same as getting the compliment from a girl, a girl as pretty as you are.

“I-it was nothing,” he moves his hand in a dismissive wave, and you giggle. “Well… I don’t know if you were done with your ‘prayer,’ but I think you should go back to the party in the Apollo Cabin. I’ll come with you. It sounded like a lot of fun in there."

"Ugh, but they’re going to make me sing,” you slouch, and Percy laughs at the slight pout on your face.

“I’ll sing with you,” he says, and you furrow your eyebrows, surprised at his offer. You’ve only seen him at karaoke a few times, and he always stayed on the sidelines.

“You can sing?” You ask, amused. Percy definitely didn’t seem like the musical type.

“Nope, I’m pretty much tone-deaf, but I’ll embarrass myself for you since you had a rough day," he nudges you softly before standing up. You look up at him as he pats down his pants, and you lean back on your hands.

“I’m gonna pick a ballad so you can embarrass yourself even more," you smirk at him, and he stops patting his clothes, squinting at you.

“Don’t make me take it all back,” he jokes. He reaches his hand out to you, and you grab it, letting him help you up from the ground.

“You know, I’d kill to hear you sing a Britney Spears song," you mention as you pat your own clothes down and begin to walk out of the forest, Ambrose acting as your guide by trotting ahead of you.

Percy is quiet for a moment, and you glance over, positive that he's starting to regret his offer to sing with you.

"Please don’t do that to me.”

You laugh at him; the thought of Percy singing a Britney Spears song was way too funny to you. Percy gave you a cautious look, not sure if you were serious or not. “Fine, fine! I shouldn’t take advantage of your kindness,” you admit as your laugh ceases. Percy nods, playfully agreeing with you. “You listen to My Chemical Romance?” You ask, and he scoffs,

“Of course, I listen to My Chemical Romance.”

“Let’s sing Teenagers then,” you suggest. “It’s a crowd favorite. Everyone sings along, so no one has to suffer through your singing. What do you think?” you tease, and you take in his bright smile as he nods his head,

“Sounds good to me.”

masterlist taglist: @nct127bee @xxyrr @mochabreezeee @minamisulemisa @yanfeisluvr

[simplepotatofarmer]

do you have any syndicate headcanons you'd like to share?

i do! i think about the syndicate a lot because i really feel that the birthday stream was such good world building/story building considering the challenges that comes with this sort of story telling where things depend on real life a lot.

anyway! syndicate headcanons:

- the whole book club thing wasn't a joke: techno legitimately had books planned for everyone to read. the first book he picked was 'the conquest of bread' and honestly everyone was pretty excited. niki loves baking! phil loves bread! ranboo is just happy to be here! but when it turns out it's actually theory? phil kinda zones out immediately. niki and ranboo try to pay attention but eventually ranboo is just going 'mm-hmm' at random intervals and niki has given up trying to speed read it and is just kind of bullshitting.

- percy jackson is canon in the dsmp and someone suggests it and techno has a slight meltdown and the next time he shows up with actual text books

- there is a syndicate to-do list in the meeting room. items on it include:

spread propaganda

pick next book

walk all dogs and steve (next to this one in phil's handwriting is 'dibs on steve' followed by ranboo's 'phil you can't call dibs' niki wrote 'all?' with a frowny face)

organize ranboo's chests (to which ranboo has replied 'absolutely not')

- while the meeting room is very Aesthetic, after awhile, you can see the little touches from everyone. ranboo leaves random blocks laying around, he had them for some reason, he's sure, but forgot why and set them down. niki brings candles she's made that smell like her baking and pine and she repaints everyone's names in their favorite colors, adding little touches that reminds her of them; emeralds and polar bears and grass blocks. phil is always making little improvements to the room, whether that's pet beds for the animals techno smuggles in or a nice little work space for niki to make easy baked goods or snacks. techno brings in blankets he's knitted that aren't the prettiest but the random flowers he sets on the table make up for it.

- he'll never admit it, but sometimes techno calls meetings because he wants to see his friends. they all know this and none of them say a thing.

- phil often treats meetings like it's a classroom and he's the class clown and i take no criticism on this.

[theolympusfiles]

rereading the PJO and HoO - part one: the lightning thief

before i start, all italicized parts are from the lightning thief by rick riordan. they're not my words and these are not my characters. my thoughts are the only thing that are mine :)

• "mom, you're coming too." her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean. "no!" i shouted, you are coming with me. help me carry grover". - the first(ish) appearance of percy's fatal flaw! i love the early establisment, especially because it helps foreshadow to the sea of monsters when fatal flaws are formally introduced.

• "that's -" "pasiphae's son," my mother said. "i wish i'd known how badly they wanted to kill you." - sally is underappreciated. she's smart as hell and clearly took the time to research demigods. yes, she was a little bit selfish with keeping percy out of the loop and not sending him to camp. but can you blame her? she lost all of her family and if she sent percy to CHB at an early age, that most nearly means she won't see him often (he'll attract monsters because he's aware of his status as a demigod and will most likely be at camp full-time). but sally ensured that she knew enough about the demigod world to protect percy because she knew that her selfishness would come with consequences. best mom.

• i was crying, calling for my mother, but i held on to grover - i wasn't going to let him go. - percy's first loss as a demigod and i am broken. honestly, so sad to think of, especially knowing all the losses he'll face in the future books. this line is also his fatal flaw showing once again (refer to first bulletpoint)

• "it (america) is the great power of the west. and so olympus is here. and we are here." - if olympus follows the west, where would the next location be? obviously, america is still a big powerhouse in terms of western civilization but that's not going to last. my bet is south korea but who knows? would love a fanfic on this tbh

• "the truth is, i can't be dead. you see, eons ago the gods granted my wish. i could continue the work i loved. i could be a teacher of heroes as long as humanity needed me. i gained so much from that wish... and i gave up so much. but i'm still here, so i can only assume i'm still needed." - how will it be decided that he's not needed? honestly, can't imagine CHB without him but chiron also deserves retirement

• i started to understand luke's bitterness and how he seemed to resent his father, hermes so okay, maybe gods had important things to do. but couldn't they call once in a while, or thunder or something? - percy has always showed some hesitance when accepting the demigod world, so i wasn't really surprised to see doubts like this pop up, especially with luke's influence. i'd think most demigods feel this way, luke and percy are just the ones who exhibit it the most in the series. i'm really interested in the parallels between the two and i'm looking forward to reading more and examining them

• "during the winter solstice, at the last council of the gods, zeus and poseidon had an argument. the usual nonsense: 'mother rhea always liked you best', 'air disasters are more spectacular than sea disasters', etc. - despite the fact that the gods are all-powerful beings, i appreciate the petty sibling spats that are mentioned briefly

• "so let me get this straight," i said. "i'm supposed to go to the underworld and confront the world of the dead." "check," chiron said. "find the most powerful weapon in the universe." "check." "and get it back to olympus before the summer solstice in ten days." "that's about right." i looked at grover, who gulped down the ace of heaers. "did i mention that maine is very nice this time of year?" he asked weakly. - this would be perfect for those 30 second trailers

• "gee," i said feigning surprise. "who else would be stupid enough to volunteer for a q uest like this?" the air shimmered behind chiron. annabeth became visible, stuffing her yankees cap into her back pocket. - the way he knows her pretty well already, i-

• the truth was, i didn't care about retrieving zeus' lightning bolt, or saving the world, or even helping my father out of trouble. - early on, we see from the get go that percy has a dislike for the gods. it's small mentions like this that really gets me thinking. he never really showed any dislike of the gods when he first arrived at camp (understandable) but he was hopeful for his father. it wasn't until luke planted the seed into his head that these thoughts came to light. i love this little detail, especially as we know that towards the end, luke does seem to think he can turn percy against the gods. his plan backfired a little bit on him in the end but like i said before, the parallels between luke and percy are so glaring. riordan definitely thought it out extensively

• do not be a pawn of the olympians, my dear. you would be better off as a statue - this is said to percy by medusa and again, feeds into his dislike of the gods. i wonder if monsters have some opinion on this. most would probably hate the gods but i wonder what their stance is on demigods. we know that they work with them (see kronos' army). the real enemy for monsters are the gods, the demigods killing them are just pawns to the gods so maybe that's how some monsters see them

• "so, what's your status?" luke asked me. "chiron will be sorry he missed you." i told him pretty much everything, including my dreams. it felt so good to see him, to feel like i was back at camp even for a few minutes, that i didn't even realize how long i had talked to him until the beeper went off on the spray machine. - there's no doubt that percy really considered luke a friend. he wasn't hesitant to tell luke about his dreams, something that he didn't share with annabeth or grover until later on the book. luke was a sort of mentor to percy and it was conveyed pretty well through their interactions, which makes his betrayal even more heartbreaking

• "you think you'll ever try living with your dad again?" she wouldn't meet my eyes. "please. i'm not into self-inflicted pain." - my heart breaks for annabeth and her relationship with her father. i've read most of the riordanverse books and the growth in annabeth's relationship with her family is definitely something i'm looking forward to watch grow as i make my way through the books again

• i looked over at the desk and saw a girl sitting there, also wearing a straitjacket - so i never paid the dreams any mind but now that i think about it, they're really good for analysis. for example, the straitjacket could mean something like the gods are keeping them restrained. maybe i'm overthinking it or have been analyzing text too much in AP english but i think that the dreams are worth some deeper thinking

• i pretended not to see annabeth wipe a tear from her cheek as she listened to the mournful keening of cerberus in the distance, longing for his new friend - i need to see annabeth play with cerberus again D:

• i turned and faced my mother. i desperately wanted to sacrifice myself and the last pearl on her, but i knew what she would say. she would never allow it. i had to get the bolt back to olympus and tell zeus the truth. i had to stop the war. - percy's growth as a character really shines through here. the lightning thief is a pretty short book and the journey they took was less than 2 weeks but despite that percy's grown immensely as a character. his goal was always to save his mother but in the end, he sacrificed her because he knew it was his duty to save olympus and i respect that

• "you have made an enemy, godling," he told me. "you have sealed your fate. every time you raise your blade in battle, everytime you hope for success, you will feel my curse. beware, perseus jackson. beware." - ares cursed percy to be unsuccesful in battle but does his curse ever take effect? i don't recall any mention of this curse later on the series. obviously, percy is the main character and a really good swordfighter but the curse might have affected some battles right? but then again riordan has a lot of plotholes so i wouldn't put too much thought in it

• i knew dionysus must've filled it out, because he stubbornly insisted on getting my name wrong. - i've always accepted the fact that dionysus called the demigods by their wrong name for humor. but what if it's deeper? what if it's a way to put some space between him and the demigods, just as an extra precaution so he won't get attached. or it could be a ploy to showcase that he's more powerful than them and that they are beneath him, which is why he doesn't need to know their name. i like the former headcanon more though :P

• i opened my eyes. i was propped up in bed in the sickroom of the big house, my right hand bandaged like a club. argus stood guard in the corner. annabeth sat next to me, holding my nectar glass and dabbing a washcloth on my forehead. "here we are again," i said. - the parallel

well, that's everything i had notes on. overall, i liked rereading it. i really do miss this series and i'm finding my love for it be rekindled by rereading. i miss the humor of the early books (i could literally make a whole post of underrated lines). the last time i read the series in its whole was when i was 7 and now that i'm 16, i have more thoughts and can analyze the story better. also loved seeing baby percabeth as they're my OTP. i'm excited to continue with the series. to the sea of monsters!

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[joliepixie]

Let’s go! Pictures left to right!

1) This was a five star read for me and probably one of my top five of the year. I was really hesitant not only to read this book but to also buy it. I’d seen it jump up on TikTok more then once but every time I picked it up it just didn’t catch my interest. The only read it so soon after I purchased it was because I let my friend pick out of three books what I should read next! I’m so happy she picked this one. I flew through it in one day and loved everything about this book . I honestly can’t think of one thing I didn’t like about this book. I fell in love with Kya and her marsh. It was a beautifully written story. I went into this book expecting it to be very much like a thriller novel like “Woman in Cabin 10” or something like that. It was nothing like that and I was perfectly fine with that. At first I was a little unsure about the ending but the more I thought about it the more I was satisfied with it. It was definitely not the happiest of reads but it’s a read that will stick with me for awhile.

2) This was my book club’s second pick. This book was meh. I didn’t hate it and I didn’t particularly like it. I found the character to be lacking which I find funny considering they are based on real people. I will say the descriptions of Egypt though were amazing and really brought a lot of life into the story. I found myself getting very angry at our main character and had to sit back and think why? All she did was hope and dream but I found myself getting annoyed at her for that. I think it was her naivety I was getting annoyed at. When she was pregnant and thinking of how life will be when her baby is born I was so frustrated because as the reader you could clearly see that Sally’s (the main character) lady would never accept her pregnancy. Lady Duff Gordon may have been comfortable in Egyptian clothing but she was comfortable with the Egyptian view of a husband taking two wives as well as a baby before marriage. I did like Sally’s independence and how she worked for herself and child rather then reconciling with her husband. I though the independence was something to be admired.

3) I was very excited for this book and very disappointed by it. I found this book was filled with well a lot of filler that didn’t contribute to the plot. You didn’t meet love interest two until page 200 something and the first half of the book made me feel like women have a expiration date and being almost 30 myself is was kind of a punch to the gut. I did find myself laughing at loud at somethings but it wasn’t enough to win it’s self back into my good graces. I found the majority of the characters to be over the top and the other half to be unlikable. The romance was lacking and I didn’t really care what happened at the end with our two love birds. Anyways this book is not sitting in the donate pile.

4) Emily Henry steals my heart again with another cute light read. I absolutely loved this story and love the trope of best friends loving each other but never saying they do. This book was my vacation through Covid. Since I can’t travel might as well read about travelling. Having a tough time deciding if I loved this one more or beach read! Either way I will pick up anything Emily Henry writes now.

5) This is my second Christina Lauren book and probably my favourite so far. Once again another trope I love enemy’s to lovers. I wasn’t sure how this book was going to work and I wasn’t expecting the sister and the brother in law playing such huge roles. I enjoyed there parts in the story even if they made me angry and sad. I thought it added good conflict to our main characters story and gave them a solid reason for disliking each other.

6) I don’t know what it was about this book but I found it extremely relaxing. I thought the story was boring and slow but for some reason it just made me feel peaceful. I think what I found most interesting about this novel is the different ways that art can move people and how it can be interpreted so differently from person to person. I found this novel to be a collection of short stories that connect rather then a actual novel which I think made it so easy to read. If you like art this is probably something you’ll enjoy one way or another.

7) I have never read Percy Jackson before until this moment. I can get the hype. I had major Harry Potter vibes while reading this and even recommended it to a friend because of this. I’d seen the movies ages ago and really liked them so I’ve always been interested in reading the series just never got around. I recently watched the movie again after reading the first book and I can understand the hatred toward the movie now. They did not follow the book at all other then keeping the character’s names the same. I will definitely be continuing with the series and excited to meet some of the other characters I’ve seen fan art for!

[aislingeu]

hello!! i’m kq ( aka kelsey quinn! ) i’m twenty five, livin in the est, usin she / her pronouns!! much like the good buddy who turned me on to this rp, i don’t know a ton about percy jackson!! but mythology was one of the few subjects that held my attention in school, so i hoe i have a good handle on it! :D for now, i manage a comic book store from thursdays - sundays, so i’m scarce those times but i’m usually on discord!!

⟨ ABIGAIL COWEN. CIS FEMALE. SHE / HER ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, AISLING DUNN is actually a descendant of H Y P N O S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-THREE year old PAINTING MAJOR from DUBLIN, IRELAND has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CLEVER & COARSE.

this got way longer than i intended im so sorry... 

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

she was born on march 12th, 1997 to a pair of irish musicians ( conor and dierdre dunn ) and, unwittingly, one greek god ( hypnos ) in dublin, ireland. her parents met and married shortly after her conception and neither of them suspected that conor wasn’t aisling’s father, until she was claimed.

as an only child, her parents didn’t have much to compare her too in terms of overall strangeness. for years, they wrote off her abilities as kids just sayin’ the darndest things. they remained blissfully unaware of the impact of their daughter’s words, rolling their eyes fondly, when she told them about the man in the cave, who came to her in dreams. they smiled and laughed, when she strangers at the supermarket that she thought erwin was a fine name to give a teddy bear, no matter what anyone else said. how were they to know that she was unearthing the fond childhood memories that passersby had almost forgotten? 

when she enrolled in primary school, they realized that she was... strange, if not special. she was recognized as a bit of a space case, often staring at nothing in particular, while her teacher droned on. her worksheets were seldom turned in complete. instead, aisling began gifting poorly drawn family portraits on the blank sides of her papers, likenesses plucked from the memories she explored when her mind wandered, in class.

eventually, after her skill had developed and people stopped writing off the stick figures as ‘coincidentally accurate’, people began to truly take notice. they speculated that she was a medium, silently communing with the dead and painting their pictures as she did. how else could she know what her art teacher’s late father looked like? and what color tie he always liked to wear? she had to be a psychic. recipients of her art were always so focused on their perception of the little girl with the gift of sight that they hardly even realized what she had tweaked, brightening up their darkest memories, just so they wouldn’t have to hurt anymore. she hardly even realized, herself.

without a reason to believe otherwise, she told the man in her dreams that she was a psychic, but he knew differently. he told her that that wasn’t so. she was special, yes, but not in the ways that the world thought her to be. hypnos let her in on the secret he’d been keeping for the past twelve years and, just like that, aisling could make sense of herself. once she knew the truth, she chased sleep. she spent as much time as she could, communicating with the one person who understood who she was. he saw her hunger for belonging and pointed her in the direction of the camp nearest to her hometown.

after a summer away, she came home faced with a challenge in morality that she’d never considered, as a child. she came home to a world where she could no longer fit. her party tricks had lost their luster the moment she realized that true value of a memory, however sad, was worth far more than the cheap smiles that her alterations had afforded. with that realization, her art took a darker turn. unable to shift the memories she saw into the light, they haunted her. she now saw their fears and heartbreaks for what they were: unchangeable. and, now, they lived within her, too. putting them to paper was the only way to get them out. but, pieces like those weren’t the kind that could be sent home to mom and dad. pieces like those were the kind that got her meetings with guidance counselors and haunted, fleeting looks from those whose memories she’d never meant to disturb. after a year of that, aisling went back to camp, full time.

once she was a year round resident of the camp, she found herself more comfortable around people who understood; there was nothing she had to hide, among those who were like her. each one of them was fighting an uphill battle of their own. they didn’t have to hide it. even if she never allowed herself to get too close, aisling never felt all that far away, at camp.

at eonia, aisling spends most of her days painting, sleeping, or working. raised by a pair of mortal musicians, finding a job at fireside records felt like a natural progression. where her godly parent thrives in silence, she finds her comfort in noise. it’s easier to block out the things she doesn’t need to see when there’s something immediate for her to focus on. at the other end of that spectrum, aisling finds her mind most open in visual arts club, trying to keep her other creative skills sharp, while she keeps her primary focus on painting. in search of inspiration, her mind reaches out in tendrils, dipping into another’s until she finds something she can work with. she only needs to leave the room before they’ve realized what she’s borrowed. 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

aisling is a naturally empathetic person, always wishing she could do more to help those around her. unfortunately, she knows that she can’t always honor that instinct. her abilities and self-imposed limitations have left her with a hardened exterior that isn’t easy to break through. those who pass through her walls see a softer side: a steadfast friend, always there to put a peaceful end to their sleepless nights or calm their worst nightmares, with a gentle run of her fingers through their hair. but sometimes, she’ll wall herself away from even those she’s closest to after she finds herself in the middle of a particularly harrowing memory. because of this, maintaining close bonds for long is a difficult thing. given her propensity for accidentally rifling through the fondest and most fearsome parts of peoples’ pasts, she’s been known cut them out of her life when she sees something that she has the urge to alter.

𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒

MEMORY RETRIEVAL — for as long as she could remember, aisling knew things that she shouldn’t. at first, her parents just dismissed her gift as imagination and observation combining in a perfect, creepy storm. it wasn’t until she started attending school, picked up her finger paints, and started to draw out moments from the pasts of strangers that people started to truly take notice. sloppy scenes from the librarian’s wedding day graduated into well sketched portraits of her bus driver’s dalmatians. she liked to take those happy moments, immortalize them in art, and hand them off to the owners of the memories. she liked to make people smile. sometimes, she took that a step further. too young to see the value in sadness, aisling would tweak the memories that were harder to bear; even if she couldn’t bring someone happiness in the present, she hoped she could bring them comfort in the future. it wasn’t until she was claimed that aisling saw the flaws in her intervention. it wasn’t until she was taught the consequences that she knew she had to stop. although the memories came to her unbidden, they didn’t belong to her and she had no right to change them. instead of focusing on the alteration of memories, aisling opted to try to learn how to shut them out. like her other powers, though, there’s a direct correlation between her emotional state and her ability to keep a wall up. when she’s feeling something strongly or hasn’t gotten enough sleep, she sees things that she doesn’t mean to.

HYPNOKINESIS — you are getting very sleepy… what proved to be a fun tool at sleepovers had more practical applications than aisling knew possible. the skill of inducing sleep was easy enough to come by and influencing dreams was as simple as altering memories. and while ( without intending to ) she’d been known to cause visions when tensions ran high, refining those visions into ones that took the shapes she wanted them to took practice. even more difficult than that was learning to astral project, but that became a necessity, coming hand-in-hand with building her mental walls. when the uninvited memories start to weigh on her, she’s learned that it’s best to remove herself from the immediate vicinity. even if she’s only technically leaving in her head. 

OTHER ABILITIES — ( levitation ) a skill she only possesses in sleep, predominantly when her dreams are eliciting strong emotions. ( seeing the gods in dreams ) this is how she formed and maintained a relationship with her father, despite her parents being unaware of their daughter’s godly lineage. on occasion, she’ll encounter gods that she’s less familiar with and, in most of those cases, she’s been known to force herself awake.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

there are so many cool, fun things runnin through my brain right now!! i think it would be lovely for her to have forged a friendship with an insomniac or maybe someone prone to nightmares that she could help! and those fun customer service relationships with record store regulars!! or maybe a former friend or significant other, who aisling left behind? maybe even altering their memory slightly, if the parting of ways was ugly! who knows! the possibilities are endless!! and i’m always up to hearing other peoples’ ideas because the Sweet Lord knows i am not the most imaginative person in any given room!!!

thank u for reading ilu!!! 

[thelittlestcheshire]

Is that HAILEY CHESHIRE “CHES” ELSWOOD? Wow, they do look a lot like KATHERINE MCNAMARA. I hear SHE is an EIGHTEEN year old FRESHMEN who is studying ENGLISH at Luxor University. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be IMPULSIVE and STUBBORN, but on the bright side they can also be ENERGETIC and LOYAL. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.

the basics //

Full Name: Hailey Cheshire “Ches” Elswood

Preferred Name: Ches Elswood

Age: 18

Birthday: July 19th

Zodiac: Cancer

Gender & Pronouns: Woman (She/Hers)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Occupation: Youtuber (two channels, a theme park history channel that uploads once a month (documentary style) and a DIY channel she shares with a friend she posts on the 2nd and 4th Mondays of each month)

Relationship Status: In a Relationship with Elliot Mills

Place of Birth: Paris, France

Hometown: Manhattan, New York, New York

Country of Citizenship: United States and France [dual citizenship]

Languages Spoken: French (first), English, Latin, Portuguese, and she’s learning Norwegian (she doesn’t think it’s enough to count yet) and she just started Russian

deeper dive //

Hobbies and Talents:

 ♡ Piano

 ♡ Archery

 ♡ Acting

 ♡ Singing (Voice Claim: Katherine McNamara (updated - spring 2021))

 ♡ Reading

 ♡ Forgeries

 ♡ Lockpicking

 ♡ DIYS (especially involving resin)

 ♡ Writing (not creatively though, essays, Defunctworld scripts)

 ♡ Video Creation

Favorites:

♡ Color: Pink (the watermelon paint color)

♡ Food: Cheap Chinese Food

♡ Animal: Tigers

♡ Drink: Cherry Cola

♡ Flower: Lilies

♡ Book: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

♡ Holiday: Halloween (costumes) or Christmas (gift giving)

♡ Movie: The Shining

♡ Scent: Vanilla Bean

♡ Place: Her family's flat in Paris

♡ Quote:

“and though she be but little, she is fierce” - William Shakespeare

Bêtes Noires:

♡ Color: Dijon

♡ Food: Sushi (a lot of it has to do with that tuna allergy though)

♡ Animal: Domestic Cats, she can tolerate them but they’re one of the few animals she wouldn’t seek out.

♡ Drink: Coffee (it’s a key reason why she drinks it when she’s panicking, because who has time to panic when you’re too busy being offended by what you’re drinking? Not Ches.)

♡ Flower: Roses (she loathes them, dislike is an understatement)

♡ Book: The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Victor Hugo

♡ Holiday: Her birthday

♡ Movie: The Notebook

♡ Scent: Roses

♡ Place: Touristy Locations, she hates being around tourists ok

health //  

Conditions:

           ♡ Borderline Personality Disorder

           ♡ PTSD

Allergies: Severe Allergy to the Perciformes family of fish (tuna, mackrel, perch , and bass). Shellfish and salmoniformes (Salmon and Trout) are fine, but she won’t try any other kinds of fish just in case.

Sleeping Habits: Ches doesn’t sleep well at all, she has nightmares more often than not, and it’s rare for her to get more than a couple of hours of sleep.

Exercise Habits: While she occasionally skips leg day, Ches exercises daily because she needs to be in good shape for archery. Usually, she goes for boxing (with a dummy, not other people) but she likes hiking a lot as well.

Addictions: Alcohol, although Ches is currently in recovery

Drug Use: Occasional weed (edibles), but for the most part she avoids drugs

Alcohol Use: Ches used to drink multiple times of day daily, but now she doesn’t drink at all because she’s in recovery (attending NA and therapy) and has quit.

personality //  

MBTI: ENFP

Enneagram: 7w8 (The Enthusiast with The Challenger wing)

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral, occasionally bordering on Chaotic Good

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Percy Jackson Parent: Aphrodite

Pokémon Type: Ghost

Pokémon Subtype: Electric

Winx: Light

appearance //

Height:  5′3 ½” (not at fc height)

Tattoos: One, Two, Three

Scars: None

Piercings: None

Hair:  Red (naturally). Ches dyes her hair from time to time so she has a current hair color thing in her sidebar (you may have to scroll).

Eyes: Green

Fashion:

♡ link to ches’s closet

♡ link to ches’s shoes

life at luxor //  

Major:

♡ English

Clubs and Activities:

♡ Archery Club

♡ Theater (Actress)

♡ Concert Band (Piano)

♡ National Honor Society

fun facts //  

♡ Ches is a former Carnifex student who came over to Luxor during the merge. You can see everything that she’s been up to during her time in the rp on her timeline page.

♡ Ches has a twin brother named Jonah who isn’t at Luxor.

♡ The Elswoods are rich. Top 25 Forbes list, 50+ Billion Networth levels of rich. In turn Ches really doesn’t think that much about money, and how much it actually means to other people.

♡ Valedictorian of Luxor Academy’s 2020 Class, she turned down Columbia’s English program to attend Luxor University.

♡ She doesn’t use her first name, ever. She doesn’t like it, and there’s a fairly high chance of her just not acknowledging you if you call her Hailey.

♡ She’s a bit of a closet nerd - if you look under her bed she has a chest of comic books, although she has NO idea how they got there if you ask her.  Do not question the R2-D2 shaped thing covered by a tarp in her closet. She also doesn’t know where that came from.

♡ Extremely restless, if you want her to sit still during a movie you better give her something to do simultaneously.

♡ Her purse is kinda like Mary Poppins bag, odds are she has what you’re looking for in it. She almost always has her multi-tool on her. She also tends to carry around a single shot nerf gun, don’t ask.

♡ She got her first tattoo while she was away from school, using a forged note of parental consent in New Jersey. (The not fragile one, the arrow was added later).

♡ She has way too many siblings, you can learn about them on her family page. (She has one more not listed, a still born half brother named Julien she learned about via her mother’s diaries. The rest of the children (excluding Emmett) are unaware.)

♡ Loves animals, a lot, sometimes to a reckless extent. She would try to feed piranhas, she does try to climb into enclosures with venomous snakes. She would steal a dog (as would her twin brother, so apparently they have more in common than they realize).

♡ If Ches makes a threat, take it with a grain of salt. Yes, she owns a blowtorch, no she won’t set you on fire even if she lights it in your direction. Your muse might not always know that - depending on how much time they’ve spent with her, but ooc just remember her bark is way worse than her bite.

♡ Ches has a Porsche that she got from her father for graduating at the top of her class. Although it’s currently not travelling with her because the cost of shipping a car is insane. Anytime she’s in Lake George though, this is her baby. (She also owns a Mercedes, which was her first car).

♡ I’m always willing to discuss my muses, so feel free to hit me up if you have any questions at any point.

a tl;dr history  //  

♡ Ches’s mother was murdered on her 8th birthday in front of her

♡ She was raised by her oldest brother, Logan, and is NOT close to her father really. She also helped raise her younger sisters and is very protective of them.

♡ The Elswood she is closest to is Emmett. He’s a big part of why she’s even here, as she’d followed him to Carnifex.

♡ Her first real love was James (an npc). They dated Freshman-Sophomore years. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, and it started Ches’s messy af relationship and fwbs pattern as she didn’t want to go through that again.

♡ Ches left Luxor in October of 2019 because her oldest brother (Logan), overdosed. He’s alive and doing well now, but she stayed in NYC until March 2020 in order to take care of things here.

♡ I strongly recommend skimming Ches’s timeline page before interacting with her. These are just the bare minimum basics, and there’s more things your muse may know on there.

wanted connections //  

♡ Exes (when Ches dates it’s not for long, but she’s definitely the type to be like “I’ll go out with you” if asked and then... dump you if she thinks she’s getting too attached. So her exes are either on good terms, neutral terms, or they probably dislike her a lot)

♡  Former friends with benefits (while Ches is no longer taking on new ones because of Elliot, I’m always willing to headcanon past things!)

♡  Friends (I am weak af for a good friendship plot, never be afraid to be like “hey can our muses be friends” the answer is legit always yes)

♡ Enemies (Ches can... be a lot so it’s not unlikely she’s pissed people off ok)

♡ NA Sponsor (I think it'd be beneficial for Ches to have a sponsor, someone she respects and trusts but not someone with a close emotional attachment. I'd prefer if the muse has been sober for two+ years, but we can probably find a middle ground.)

♡ Ex Friends (People used to be friends with but no longer is on good terms with, either as an aftermath of her addiction, the aftermath of her recovery when that starts, them just growing apart, etc etc)

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 4x07 The Snow Queen

I just moved house yesterday and I am STRESSED! It’s so dirty here. It’s a person with ocd (like myself’s) worst nightmare. Gaaah! Also my wisdom teeth are still coming through and it hurtssss! I am on the verge of sensory overload and I am having the day from hell. Hopefully this rewatch will make it better. Okay I’ll calm down now.

Also I live right next to a freaking grand church now which is a fun reminder of religious trauma but oh well at least it kinda reminds me of Hogwarts. I’m basically Hagrid now.

I just started reading the OUAT book ‘Henry and Violet’. It’s okay this far. I wish there was more of Henry’s family in it. Also did I tell y’all I started reading Percy Jackson for the first time? Well, listening to the audiobook. I’m on the Titan’s Curse and I’m enjoying the series so far! I’m determined to read all books set in that universe. 

Back to the rewatch.

Oh, I love this one! Villain backstories are awesome and make me wanna cry!!

Aww look at the sisters! They were so happy together!

Oh my God, stay away from that creepy man! Please don’t talk to strangers! What were they doing running about the fields unsupervised? Where were their parents or at least a nanny or guard or something?

Gerda, no!

Who the hell just kicks a child like that?! What a jerk!

OUAT casting department strikes again with casting the young versions of Ingrid and her sisters. Who did they sell their souls to??

Does Ingrid have Hyalokinesis too? Cause she just conjured the glass for that mirror!

Robin, dude, lisssssten, you have to save Marian! She is the mother of your child! Think of the hobbit child! Okay, I know it’s not Marian but the fact remains that he thought it was! 

Disney Princess Mummy and Me club!! I love it! Such a good idea! And I wanna know what happened to those baby’s when they grew up! Did Phillip Jr. and Alexandra grow up friends with Robin and Neal? I like to think so!

Aurora: “I dare not touch that devil box. I won’t make that mistake twice.” Haha! Do people in the EF believe in the devil??

Oh man, I think Emma’s a bit jealous of her brother. That is honestly beyond understandable! It’s also understandable that Snow would want to give him everything after all they’ve been through. This is a tricky situation.

Oh yeah, wasn’t this when they forgot Ashley’s baby was a girl? Oh well. Break those gender stereotypes, girl! If Ashley wants to dress her kid in traditionally masculine attire she sure as hell can! I liked to wear ‘boy’s clothes’ as a kid.

Wow. That must have hurt Emma for Snow to pull away when she wanted to hold her brother but, I mean, to be fair Emma had just boiled a bottle of milk. Snow didn’t want a cooked baby is all!

Whoa, Ingrid! You could have taken out Emma’s eye with that ice spike!! I guess she purposefully missed.

That Frozen Swan hug is everything! I love it when Emma shows enough trust in someone to be affectionate with them <3. I ship!

Her sisters were so supportive, especially Helga. She was really their rock and Ingrid just wanted the best for them. 

They still wear the ribbons D’:

She just wants to join in!! I am balling!

If Ingrid wants them to be her sisters, why does she keep physically hurting Emma?

Ingrid is very intuitive. She likes to play with people psychologically and she uses her insight to predict how they’ll react. I would have liked to see even more of her and for her to have had connections to more of the heroes that she might have stolen memories from. I’d have loved to have seen her mess with Snow and David and Regina on a psychological level. 

Henry: “You’re tearing through the book with your scary face on.” My mum has a scary face she does when she’s angry. It’s terrifying. When you see it, you know it’s time to freaking run for the hills!

Her family spans 400 years? How so? If Killian is 200 something years old Rumple is not much older. Unless Emma means her, like, royal heritage on her mum’s side or something.

Jesus! I am crying at the Ingrid trying to run away scene. Oh my God. It hurtsssss! They just want her to be happy D,:!! 

And Helga is so freaking supportive! Such a good, loving sister. She deserved better!!

Gerda’s Irish accent has gone lol. Am I losing it, or did anyone else notice her Irish accent in 4x01??! The actress is Canadian so it must have been a deliberate choice.

Killian, about the mirror: “This is what we’ve been worried about? Shouldn’t it be shaking or doing something evil.” That would’ve been cool!

What happened to Anastasia?!

Hang on a minute. That’s wrong. From that day forward (the day he met Marian) Robin didn’t only steal from the rich and give to the poor. We see in ‘Heart if Gold’ that he had already been in a relationship with Marian before he declared that that’s what he would be doing in the future.

If he went through all that with Marian why can’t he be compassionate enough to try to save her life? 

Oh! Rumple was gonna give Ingrid magic lessons! That would have been cool! She might have learnt to control her abilities but then, I have to ask, what would be in it for him?

Rumple: “Love is free but all magic comes with a price.” Of course! He must be hinting at the fact that love is the way to control her abilities. If only he’d told her that.

Don’t give up your ribbons!! It’s so special that they wore them all those years!

‘Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree. It’s been three long years. Do you still want me?’ I only know that song through the S Club series but boy does it get stuck in my head!

How does Ingrid know if Neal was born normal? I mean, wasn’t there flashing lights when he was born? I guess that could have been Zelena. I like to think that he does have magic. I don’t understand why every child born of true love wouldn’t have it? I guess Phillip Jr. would have it too! And maybe even Alexandra!

That scene with Ingrid pushing Emma and her blowing a hole through a wall is so cool! I love it when a character loses control of their powers!

David! Oh no!

Snow didn’t mean to snap at Emma. She was just having one of those days :(. She instantly regretted it. She loves Emma. Both her parents do.

Poor Emma. Elsa wanted to help her too!

Oh my God, Ingrid keeps that urn with her at all times. That makes me so sad!

The Duke is an absolute creep! Oh my God! He’s awful!

Don’t touch her!

Quick Ingrid! Pick up the gloves and put them on!!! I can’t with this scene! It’s so upsetting!!

Helga: “Ingrid is my sister and I love her for who she is.” *burst into tears* I freaking love Helga!

He doesn’t have any handles for his glasses! Is that a thing?

No!!!!! Helga!!!

God! This is so heartbreaking!!!!

There are tears coming from my actual eyes!!

Robin, you just said you only decided to steel from the rich and give to the poor when you met Marian and now you’re saying you’ve lived by that code your entire life. Which is it? Or are you like Benny Hinn or something, renouncing the prosperity Gospel/stealing from the poor every ten years and going straight back to it? Idk dude, I just wanna know the truth tehe!

Ingrid and her freaking mirrors! This place I’m living at now has so many freaking mirrors! I’m sure my mum or Ingrid designed it!

My heart!!!! I can’t!! Ingrid didn’t mean to! She’s so upset and Gerda is so upset and scared!! Woah this scene really freaking hurts my heart!

But why does Gerda want the whole realm to forget her sisters existed? I don’t think she erased the memory from herself? Did she erase it from her parents?

Oh! She did erase the memory from her father! That is messed up!! Did her father know about Ingrid’s powers? What happened to their mother?

Was the price of using that memory magic that she would have a daughter with cryokinesis & frigokineses?

So cleaving himself from the dagger would allow Rumple to use magic in the LWM?