#I know I should just ask an actually psychologist about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonstruckme · 9 months

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spencer reid waking up the next morning and reader's chest is cOVERED in hickies/bruises and he is freaked out and is so sorry that he hurt reader, and she has to talk him off a ledge bc she just bruises easily? thank you!

Thanks for requesting!

Spencer Reid x fem!reader ♡ 728 words

Spencer’s wanted to get you like this forever. In his apartment, in his bed, with the pale morning light washing over your features. Your face is all smoothed out, placid and pretty against his pillowcase. Your eyelids twitch as you dream. Spencer’s never put as much stock into dreams as some other psychologists, but he really wants to know what you dream about. He hopes you remember enough to tell him.

You stir a bit, rolling onto your back and letting the covers slip down from where you’ve been holding them tucked them underneath your chin. Spencer’s chest warms at the sleepy movement, but he pauses at the mark that’s revealed just above your collarbone. The bruise is stark and angry in the early sunlight, red turning to purple. Spencer’s heart contracts. Is that from him? He doesn’t remember treating you so cruelly.

He holds his breath, brushing gently over the spot with his forefinger. It has to hurt. How could he have done something like this without knowing? He remembers kissing you there, sucking a little, but nothing that would leave a mark like this.

You shift at the touch, and the sheet falls another few inches. Two more, one on your shoulder and another just below the first. Spencer sucks in a breath.

You hum and roll towards him, eyelids peeling open. “Spence?”

Spencer’s working the sheet out from under your arm, trying to get another look at the bruises. Trying to prove to himself that he did actually see them.

“Spence,” you say again, groggily. “What’re you doing?”

“Sorry I—” He lets the sheet go, trying to collect himself. “I just—I saw the hickeys, from last night, and I—”

“Oh, are they bad?” You push yourself upright, letting the sheet fall away completely.

Spencer is aghast. He’s lost for words. He needs to be thrown into federal prison.

Bruises cover your chest. Your collarbones, your breasts, the undersides of your breasts, your shoulders—all of it. Spencer doesn’t recall marking you up so thoroughly. He hardly recalls kissing you in half these places.

“Oh my god.” He looks at your eyes, repentant. “Sweetheart, I had no idea I was being this rough with you. I’m so sorry.”

“Spence,” you laugh. “It’s okay.”

“You should have said something if I was hurting you. I never want to do anything like—”

“Hey,” you cut him off, and you’re still smiling, which he thinks is really rather inappropriate. He’s desecrated you. “It didn’t hurt, okay? I was fine, and I’m still fine. I just bruise really easily.”

Spencer feels his eyebrows bunch disbelievingly. “This easily? These look like they could have been done with a pellet gun.”

You shrug, looking a bit bashful as you pull your shoulders up around you. He’s willing to bet you’re fighting the urge to cover yourself with the sheet.

He covers one of the marks on your shoulder with his thumb, watching your face carefully. “Does this hurt?” he asks, pressing on it gently.

Your eyelashes don’t so much as flicker. “No,” you say honestly.

Spencer feels like his chest might collapse in relief. “Jesus. That really scared me,” he admits.

Your lips twitch. “Yeah, I could tell. Sorry for freaking you out.”

“Sorry for defacing you,” he responds, pressing an especially gentle kiss to the side of your neck. “And for waking you up with my freak out.”

You let your smile bloom, bright and endearingly kind. “I don’t mind,” you say.

Spencer analyzes you, contemplative. “You know, that sort of bruising could be caused by an iron deficiency. Or a lack of vitamin C.”

“Mhm?” You’re completely uninterested, leaning forwards to kiss his chin. You nose at the stubble on his cheek.

“How would you feel about having some spinach in your eggs?”

You sit back. “You’re going to make me eggs?”

“Well,” Spencer smiles sheepishly, “first we have to go to the store for spinach and eggs, and then yes. If you want, I’d be happy to make you eggs.”

“Okay,” you say breezily, swinging your legs out of the bed, “but if you’re only doing it so I’ll stop bruising, you should taper your expectations.”

“There’s no way I’m letting this happen again,” he says. “I can’t mark you up every time I kiss you.”

You hum. “I never said I minded.”

“I mind.”

“Well, to each their own.”

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auset66 · 12 days

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What your inner child wants you to know (Never heard before specific messages). 🎯👼

1. The Orange Girl 🍊

I see that you are a very practical and hardworker person. Past few days or weeks I feel is you are having some problems related to health or things just not going your way. I see the mental fog you cant pin point but things are just going wrong. A lot of confusion. You are also doing everything practical you can to deal with this but the thing is it is the matter of emotions and heart. 🧊🧹

Now the inner child of you wants to be free and have free flowing emotions. Now I feel you are that person who has been very emotionally detached from yourself as long as you can even remember living. Like you go and work hard and make things right physically. You might be that A class person "cold hearted" who is always about work work work. So why have you been like this? Because there is this fear of expressing yourself. Now I don't know if it because of seeing poverty or because of your parents being so strict not letting you be freely yourself. It could be many things, but the main energy the main source I see here is fear. That is now ingrained in your mind since the very young age. But you are exhausted now and your physical reality your health your body is giving out these signs. Calling you out to let your emotions flow free be the wild animal and live life freely in peace in happiness. What you can start by doing is maybe writing, drawing or even just try crying. It might be very very out of comfort zone but you can give it a Try. One thing you can do is write your feelings down everyday or everynight in the dairy or note app anywhere without any filters. Do what "feels" right. Very foreign to you rigth? And offcourse if you can I highly highly recommend consulting a therapist, not a psychiatrist, a psychologist. A good therapist can really understand all your problems and will help you out through this. That's their work afterall. What you need is therapy not medicines. Goodluck ✨️❤️

2. The blue walker. 🌧

Okay, so the first feeling I feel is happiness. Yeah I know you will be like... what happiness I literally hit rock bottom this time. Yes you did. I see a relationship or something very long term even could be your long term work it all breaking off. You lost something for sure or even someone. Whatever it was you made the decision already and are feeling a lot of uncertainty now about the future and everything. But (yes don't forget this reading) in few months from now you will see you feeling happy that type of happy you never even thought you could feel. You changing drastically growing naturally feeling natural and almost at peace. I feel whatever situation you left there was a lot a lot of masking up, a lot of chaos, people especially, lot of you doing and gaslighting yourself to do feel things you never wanted to. So this thing that ended your inner child is almost happy and thanking you actually that you finally let it go. All you have to do right now is to be patient and breathe. Rest. Let it flow. Whatever you doing right now you are doing right. You will see the change in yourself that you never even thought could happen. The change in your life the reality. Then look back at your life you had when you were in this "cage" I should say. And one more thing that I never say in my reading but it was strong so I see a person a good person entering in your life yes a romantic intrest. With this person you won't have to beg for attention or love or even have to pretend that you are Not clingy or that you are very cool person. You can just let be and this person will do everything without you even asking. You will be happy and feel free. Good luck. I honestly see a very bright and happy future and days. ✨️❤️🍃

3. The Green Rain 🍃

So I see you are a person who actually is really in tuned with their emotions. A good person a nurturing person. Having compliments about your motherly nature and being a caring person is not something new. So I see there is this calling in you which wants to make things right. Make the world a happy place. You love people and you are a humanitarian person. The thing is this energy is put on the people around you. Relationships, friendships and you know just these people. Most if not all these people are very immature and wants you to keep on giving and giving without expecting anything in return. Now the problem is you, that you think you feel that it is your responsibility to mother them, to nurture them to bring Them back to path. You feel like "give me all your pain let me alchemise it for you, because I know how it feels how to deal with it". You put yourself in others shoes, but the problem is these people are not giving the results back. They are just keep on becoming more dependant on you keep on taking all your life force out of you. Why you still think it is right even when you are so emotionally Intelligent? It is because of your childhood trauma of having irresponsible parents, huge mother issues. You feel if you won't do it everything will fall out. Your worth is only when you "protect" these people. What you can do? You should know that there is a line. The truth why you are still keep on doing it? And the truth is the trauma response not the empathy in this case.

The inner child in you wants to put this energy into something that will give the results back. What do i mean? Give a try to NGO work or becoming a clinical psychologist or world health or even teaching anything everything you can think of that will actually give the results back. Not the big manipulative corporations but the actual things that can help people not them keep on falling back to same cycle with you repetiting the same. You want to give to the world and you want results back. If you invest money in charity you want them to be invested in what charity told it will be invested it and not in their bank accounts becoming black money.

And yes the person whoever it is you are romantically involved in yes even if it is just a situationship. leave.You and me we both know how sneaky and immature this person and won't ever grow and especially never with you. The happy family dream... this person is far from that. Don't waste your wisdom and energy on these energy Sucker people in your life and put them into those who actually needs it. That's what your inner child wants. To make things equal and right. The change in world won't happen if you keep on mothering a litreal adult with mommy issues. Goodluck. 🍃❤️✨️

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sunflower-lilac42 · 4 months

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𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 | 𝘭𝘩43 ♔

➪ summary: luke always knows when his girl is sad, and this time it's no exception

➪ warnings: depression, fighting parents, kind of bad family dynamics

➪ word count: 1.6k

➪ file type: fic

➪ sunny's notes: this is so weird because i'm listening to really hype music while editing the sad fics. oh well, i wrote this when i was sad so that's fun. also i reread this and i actually almost cried because i didn't realize how well i portrayed my own emotions in it so that was also fun

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There was something about that time of year that caused her depression to hit its highest level. There were a lot of reasons that could’ve caused it, but there was none that she could say was right. It wasn’t seasonal depression, she had been asked that a plethora of times. It wasn’t a feeling of not being enough, she had been told that by multiple therapists.

She could say it was her parents fighting, her parents’ financial struggles, her brothers' snarky comments about how he couldn’t wait to move out and not deal with their crap anymore. She could say it was her family going to her for every little thing that went wrong, the amount of shit she gets from everyone in the family, the comparison of her to her brothers. It could’ve been a lot of things, but she wasn’t about to pin her depression on her family members, it didn’t seem right.

Every one of her friends and family knew she had depression, it wasn’t a secret. She felt as if as soon as her parents were told about her diagnosis they couldn’t wait to tell every single soul they knew. She felt like she was a story waiting to be told. She often thought that if she had a kid who acted the same way she did, she would know how to raise them better.

She hated critiquing her parents and her brothers, but they did it to her, didn’t they? She knew about the multitude of times her parents had gone to talk to her brothers about how she hadn’t been to class in a week, how she looked fine so there was no reason for her not to go. She felt like the little boy who cried wolf, however, for much different reasons.

She always said she was sick when she felt this feeling looming over her so her parents wouldn’t get worried, and they would let her stay home from school. But then, she would actually get sick and no one would believe her. She was stuck in an endless cycle.

Luke was worried. He had known about her tendencies to fall into this state of mind and not know what caused it. He knew about her family, the therapists, the psychologists, and the social workers. He knew about the multiple attempts everyone had made to get her to open up, about the amount of times she had screamed in her head at them that she didn’t know. He knew about everything.

It was easy for her to open up to Luke when they first met, he had this unmistakably calming and supportive aurora about him. He had bumped into her one day in freshman year, immediately apologizing for not looking where he was going. She had been on her way to the dining hall while he was on his way back, but he offered to take her there anyway.

Ever since then, they had been each other’s rock. Luke asked her out two months later and the two were practically inseparable. However, this was the first time he had experienced this side of her. He could tell it was happening just slightly, her face said it all. He wasn’t entirely sure of what to do, she had always told him it was nothing to worry about and it should be better in a couple of days. But it wasn’t.

She wasn’t the best at answering her texts, not wanting to face the fact that she was not doing well. She had been cooped up in her room for almost a week now, usually occupying herself with reading or playing a game on her phone. She wanted to go to class, she wanted to do her work, she wanted to do better but she just couldn’t.

She stared blankly at her phone as her podcast played through her earbuds. She had seen a text from Luke come through but she didn’t pay much attention to it. She felt bad for not answering, yet another part of her brain just accepted defeat and the fact that he might be mad at her. She had been able to get up and sit at her desk which was a step in the right direction, however she hadn’t done much since she got there.

She heard a knock on the door, ignoring it at first. When the knocking became more persistent, she sighed and got up. Her, Luke’s, hoodie fell from its original bunched-up place in her lap as she walked over to the door. Her eyes had dark circles around them, her hair was tied messily in the back. She opened it and looked at the person standing on the opposite side of the door.

“Hi.”

Usually, she would’ve been excited to see her boyfriend but at this point, that was what she dreaded most. Her face looked tired as she stared at Luke with blank eyes, “Hi.”

Luke nervously shifted his weight back and forth between his feet at the sound of her voice. It was hoarse from the lack of use, it had unfallen tears caught in it, and it had a hint of harshness laced in it. His mind flooded with thoughts as her voice reached his ears, he hadn’t been expecting it to sound that way.

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something more but he didn’t. The lack of communication between the two caused them to stand in the doorway for three minutes. Luke’s nervousness and awkwardness were seeping into y/n’s body language as she toyed with her hair and stood with her left foot propped up behind her right leg.

When they made eye contact, the tension in her body went away and her eyes softened, “You wanna come in?”

He nodded and she stepped back so he could walk in. Instead of going back to where she was previously sitting, she went back and climbed into her bed. The feeling of being able to be vulnerable in Luke’s presence made her want to curl into herself, she didn’t want to be vulnerable right now. She pulled her comforter up to her chin, creating heat around her.

Luke shivered from the moment he stepped into her room, goosebumps rising all over his arms. He sighed when he saw his girlfriend revert to her original space, moving to sit at the edge of her bed. He placed his hand on her calf, the sheets creating a barrier from them touching, “Hi baby.”

Those were the only words that both of them could muster, an awkward tension forming between the two of them for no reason. She just stayed staring at the wall in front of her. He let out a soft sigh at the lack of response and turned his head away from her to collect his thoughts. He wasn’t sure how to approach this, she had told him not to worry about her but he couldn’t help it.

“What can I do to help?”

She shrugged in response, not giving him her full attention. Luke slowly moved his thumb to start rubbing her calf in circles as a form of comfort. Another moment of silence passed again, and the two slowly started to become more comfortable with each other once again.

“Luke?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you lay with me?”

Luke all but jumped onto the opportunity she gave him, slipping his shoes off and climbing in behind her. He wrapped his right arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. It was a mere five seconds before y/n was turning over and burying her head into his chest, “I’m sorry.”

“For what? You haven’t done anything wrong, baby.”

“For not responding, and for being like this.”

Before he had shown up she had hoped he wouldn’t even think about coming over. She hated when people had to see her like this. It wasn’t because of the way she looked but rather the thought that nobody would understand how she felt, that everyone would just complain about her problems.

But Luke was absolutely, positively in love with her. From the moment they met, the way he had been able to make her laugh within two minutes, the way she was able to ramble on about random things to a stranger amazed him. She had him wrapped around her finger since the moment they bumped into each other and there was nothing that would change that.

He frowned at her words, “Don’t be sorry. You can’t control it.”

“I just wish it would stop sometimes. Move on from me.” He kissed her forehead and held her tighter, feeling angry at the world for doing this to his girl.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you.”

Her fingers went to tangle into his hair, her frowning at his apology. She played with one of the curls that had been sticking out amongst the rest due to its length. Luke calmed down at the feeling and gave her a small smile. It was hard for her to return the action, not having anything to smile about.

Luke knew that was all he needed to do, just be there for her even if she said she didn’t want him there. Remind her that he would be there to support her through everything, even the parts she didn’t want him to know about. Reassure her that those feelings were common even if he didn’t know what it felt like. Love her as if the world was gonna end tomorrow.

#nhl #hockey #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #luke hughes #lh43 #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes fic #: ̗̀➛ sunny’s writing 📓 !

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magics-neptunes-things · 5 months

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Ready, Aim, Shoot (3)

Hi guys!

I post it again, the other one just disappeared without any reason. Sorry if you already red it.

TW : Blood, creepy psychologist, panic attack, angst, depression.

PART 1 | PART 2

Blood. There is blood everywhere. The more you look, the more there is. You look at your shaking hands, cover in red. You don’t know whose blood is it though. The room you are in is only white, adding to the contrast with the blood color. Breathing quickly, you look around and that’s when you finally see her.

Alexia.

Alexia is laying in the middle of the room, her body surrounded by red too. Panicking, you kneel next to her, shaking her to try to wake her. But she doesn’t. She stays still in your hand, not moving. Not breathing. This is when you scream.

You scream so much that it wakes you up suddenly. Heavily breathing, you sit on your bed, blindly trying to find the button on your bedside lamp. You finally managed to find it, but when you put the light on, Alexia isn’t next to you in your bed.

It’s only when you left your room to look for her that you remember. She’s not here tonight, she’s sleeping in Tenerife, where she played today. Or yesterday, because it’s actually three in the morning. It’s the first time she leaves

you alone for all the night since you came back.

Alexia Is not here, but it’s your fault. You assured her that you will be ok, almost pushing her out of your flat. She made you swear to call her if you need her, no matter what time is it. She asked Mapi to come to look for you last night, so you watched the game with the blonde before she went home. You fell asleep quickly actually, you were far to imagine a wake up like that.

You should really call her; she will be disappointed with you if she learns the state of panic you are in without calling her. But you hate the idea to wake her up at this time of the night. She played yesterday, she’s coming home today. She needs to rest.

You find refuge on your couch, putting the TV on. But you can’t forget the picture of Alexia and the blood everywhere. You feel like it’s still on your body, no matter how many times you look at your hands to be sure that you don’t have a little red on you. Thirty minutes after you wake up, you decided to go take a shower.

You pass a long time under it, water burning, washing your body again and again. You ignore the scare that your accident left on your body. You hate them. No matter how many times Alexia kissed them, telling you that you are strong and even more beautiful than before.

You feel guilty as hell when you think about your girlfriend. She is amazing with you, so patient and so loving. You don’t feel like you deserve her. You don’t make any progress with your mental health and it’s disturbing. You even think about breaking up with Alexia one time, disgusting by yourself. She deserves so much more than you. But right after you had a panic attack, because how can you live without her? She’s your whole world.

You are not even strong enough to make the things right for her.

When the feeling of the hot water and the strength with which you rubbed your skin became too much to handle, you stop the water and get out of the shower. This time your skin is red, but you know why.

You pick a hoodie from Alexia and one of her old Barcelona’s short. If you can’t have your girlfriend’s arms, at least you can have her smell. And, after some hesitation, you even take her pillow to go with you to the couch of your living room. You take snack and watch some stupid things on TV while scrolling on your phone.

You are still tired, but you don’t want to take the risk to fall asleep again. You’re terrified to have this dream again. Every time the images came back in your brain, you try to hug Alexia’s pillow harder. It kind of work, but it has nothing to do with Alexia’s comfort.

You fall asleep after 8 o’clock, after your girlfriend told you that they are boarding and that she will be home soon.

You are still asleep when Alexia comes home. She smiles seeing you laying on the couch, cuddle against her pillow, in her clothes. You are watching YouTube now, from her account, and you choose the playlist where she puts all the games she finds interesting. Only putting her suitcase on the ground, she comes to sit next to you, softly stroking your hair.

“Alexia?” you mumble, opening your eyes with difficulty.

“Hi sleepy head”

Her smile is affectionate, and you get up on one elbow to rub your eyes and have a better look at her. Her hairs are down and she seems fine. She seems happy, maybe to see you? The plan was that she takes a taxi with Jana to come back home, Alexia didn’t want you to drive because some noises sometimes make you jump.

“How are you?” Alexia asks softly.

“Can I have a hug?”

She smiles and passes her arms around you to hug you. But you lay on the couch again, taking her with you on it. She giggles and you smile, forgetting for the first time your nightmare.

“I’m glad you’re here” you whisper after some minutes.

“I’m glad to be back to you too.”

You hum, turning a little to pass a lag around her knees and cuddle tighter against her. She’s stroking your back lovingly, sometimes kissing your head. You started to wonder how much mental pressure you are putting on her when she talks again.

“You remember Marta? From the media team?”

“I think I do” you answer, frowning. “Why?”

“She just left for her maternity leave, and she doesn’t know for now if she will come back.”

“Ok?”

You are still frowning when you look at your girlfriend, not understanding where she wants to go. I mean you are happy that people have baby and all. But what does it make a change for you?

It looks like Alexia’s idea was that you apply for the job. You try to escape that idea, not really happy about the idea of meeting tons of people who will know about your story and look at you with pity in their eyes. But Alexia assures you that it won’t happen, adding that you just can go for the interview without saying yes after.

Long story short, you are now sitting on your desk for your first day.

Your job is basically to find idea of activities to anime the games, a little more marketing than journalism to be honest. But it looks fun and like Alexia said before, when Marta will come back, you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.

********

“Hi, I’d like a meeting with the new media manager?”

A voice in front of you make you raise your head, even if you recognize it immediately. Alexia is smirking at you from the door of your office, looking like she just finishes her shower. Which she probably did given the time.

“I’m sorry, but you have to talk to my assistant first, she will give you my time schedule” you smirk back.

Alexia frown slightly, closing the door behind her before coming for you.

“You have an assistant?”

You know that frown and you roll your eyes while standing up to great her like she deserves it.

“Yes, I have” you answer, letting yourself go against her when she takes you in her arms.

She hums, her lips against your hair, trying to look discreetly in the open office by the window. The gesture makes you chuckle and you raise your head to have a better look at her.

“What? I was just looking to know if you knew her, that’s all.”

“Sure, mi Amor.”

She pouts and you kiss it better, just to see the smile she has right after. You weren’t really happy to start to work again to be honest, but you have to admit that it’s a good thing for you to keep your head busy with something. Alexia was right, once again.

“Are you ready to leave? I’m taking you home.”

“I am.”

You take your stuff with you, before letting Alexia passes her arm around your waist to take you with her. You don’t know if it’s only the jealousy talking right now, but you have to admit that she is way more openly affective with you since your accident. Not that you have a problem with it, obviously. But the way her gaze is scanning the room when you left after saying goodbye to your colleagues, it makes you think that there is at least a little part of jealousy in it.

Which is totally stupid, you only see her.

“You seems happier” Alexia says cautiously over her plate that night.

You look at her for some seconds before nodding. You are, but you are scared to mention it in case that it makes your nightmares coming back.

“I am. Thanks to you” you smile softly.

“Are you really? Or are you hiding something for me like when I was away for the game to Tenerife?”

You blush and almost chock on your tomato, but you somehow are able to keep some dignity. You don’t take the time to try to deny her statement though, you know that she knows. Of course she does. She reads you like an open book. Alexia has the decency to not point anything else, waiting patiently for your answer.

“I really am better. You were right, I really needed to get out from here even if it was difficult at first. It’s great to have something to do, not that cooking for you wasn’t entertaining. But going out… It’s great.”

She nods softly, without leaving your face with her eyes. You know immediately that there is something else in her mind, but you don’t push, letting her carry the conversation.

“Do you think I was too suffocating with you? Maybe if I…”

“No!” you cut her after some seconds of incredulity. “Alexia how could you…? Are you joking? You are the reason that I’m still here and mentally good. You are the reason that I keep fighting to be fine again. I couldn’t have done it without you. I forbid you to think of anything like that.”

“I’m sorry. It’s some insecurities and I shouldn’t have told you that” she frowns again, playing with her forks and some pasta left in her plate.

“Alexia, don’t please.”

She looks at you again when you stand up, just to come sit on her lap. She welcomes you by taking you close against her with her arms. You pass your arms around your neck, one of your fingers playing with the baby hair on her neck.

“You are so perfect to me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to thank you enough one day for it. You were always right and done nothing wrong all those days. A lot of people would have abandoned, but you are still here with me.”

“I’ll never abandon you” she mumbles right into your eyes.

You can see how much she means those worlds and you have to take all your strength not to start crying like a baby. You’re pretty sure that your eyes are shining from tears but you busy yourself by stroking her cheek tenderly.

“You said one time that my come back is a miracle, do you remember? Well, you are my miracle.” you add, after she nods.

She kisses you and the way she did makes your head turned. She only let you breath for several seconds when you need air, before kissing you again with even more intensity. You had sex again after some weeks of rehab from your part, but not like you did before your departure. And it’s hard to see Alexia restrain her gestures, scared as hell to hurt you. Tonight though, you feel like that maybe it will come back.

********

It came back.

You are laying on your bed, lovingly enveloped in your girlfriend’s arms. Her skin is so soft against yours, your face hiding in her neck. You are lull by Alexia’s deep and slow breathing and you are starting to wonder if she’s falling asleep when she talks quietly.

“How are you feeling?”

“Great. Safe. Warm.”

“Perfect” Alexia sighs softly, moving a little to be more comfortable on the mattress.

You look up at her, admiring the shape of her jaw, her perfect nose, her beautiful eyes, and her so kissable lips.

“What?” she asks when she sees you staring.

“Nothing” you giggle. “You’re just so beautiful.”

She rolls her eyes before closing them, tightening you harder against her. You don’t need anything than her body to keep you warm and you love it.

“Would you be angry if I stopped working there?”

The sudden question makes her open her eyes again to look at you. She seems to be thinking for several seconds before answering.

“Of course not. Why do you want to stop anyway? Is someone nasty with you?”

“Not at all” you deny, already imagine her hunting the person who would do that to you. “I was thinking that… maybe I could finish one of my book projects?”

“You mean one of your thousand amazing scenario who are desperately waiting on your computer?”

“Exactly that” you answer, rolling your eyes.

She teases you way to much about it already.

“If it’s what you want, of course I’ll support you. But what about going out to meet people?”

You see the worried already and you answer, kissing her cheek.

“I’ll go write into a Café or something. Maybe seeing people, crowd and streets will help me to get idea.”

********

That’s exactly what you did, after finishing your job with the media. The first days, you weren’t really effective, more focused on what’s going on around you and which story you want to choose. After some debate with yourself and help asking to your mother and Alexia, you choose to mix two stories and start writing again. It made you start from the beginning, but it’s maybe better like this.

You still get to your psychiatrist to your session twice a week, always a little more scared to go without Alexia. Your psychiatrist told both of you that it could be good for you to come without your girlfriend. Alexia accepted immediately, always being interested in everything that can make you feel better.

You always have a strange feeling without Alexia’s halo, and it’s only happened when you come here. You don’t have trouble to go grocery shopping without Alexia or go to the Café to write.

It’s particularly hard to come today, you talked to Alexia by the phone before your appointment to ease your stress. She seems to realize that something is wrong, because she talks a lot about her day. She only does that to change your mind, and you love her for that.

“Hello Y/N” your therapist greats you.

You great her back and start talking about your new occupation, your activities since the last time and the travel Alexia proposed to you last night. It was something you can’t stop to think about since she mentioned it, eager to go away for some days in the sun with the woman you love.

“Don’t you think it will be too soon?” the doctor asks, only looking at her notepad.

You are taken aback. You would never have thought that she can be thinking that it’s a bad idea. She never stops to tell you to go ahead and try new things since the beginning.

“Taking a plane, going to an airport, in a place that might remind you of your trauma? What would you do if you have one of your panic attacks there?”

You don’t know what to answer to that. Alexia mentioned Canary Islands and a private hotel with a private beach, which seems far away from the Middle East.

“No, I mean… I’m going better now. And I’ll be with Ale. Everything will be ok.”

She looks at you this time, raising an eyebrow. Her look is sharp, almost mean and you have trouble swallow your saliva. You feel like a schoolgirl getting bullied by her teacher.

“Don’t you think you already lean too much on the poor girl? Maybe she suggests the holidays to have some rest, are you sure she wants you to go with her?”

You don’t really remember the end of the appointment and you don’t know how you managed to find yourself in the Barcelona’s facilities. You can’t think straight anymore, it’s like this woman knew all your insecurities and tell you that you are right to have them.

What if she’s right? What if Alexia can’t stand your presence, your toxics dreams and mental health? You already knew that you weren’t good enough for her and that she deserved better. You can’t believe that you let her makes you believe that she can love you. How can she? How can anyone?

You were turning around to go home when you hear someone call your name.

“Y/N?”

You recognize Mariona through your tears, but you can’t say anything. She doesn’t seem to mind though, carefully taking your arm in her hand.

“What are you doing here? Are you looking for Alexia?”

You try to scream at her to let Alexia alone and not to get you to her, but you can’t. When you don’t say a word, Mariona decides to take you to Alexia. Luckily the Majorcan woman came late today and she knows exactly where to find your girlfriend.

You let Mariona drags you around, hearing her soothing voice without being able to understand what she’s saying. Sweets, encouraging words, for sur. You can’t figure out really what happens next, but after several minutes of walk, you hear Mariona calling your girlfriend’s name. And more seconds after, you are surrounded by her arms, her perfume, everything that is her.

Everything that you don’t deserve.

When Alexia realizes that she’s facing a wall and that you won’t say a word, she takes you home. You are like anesthetized at this point, letting her do what she wants with you. When you are laying on the bed you retake some reality and stare at Alexia who seems to be choosing clothes to put on you after taking a shower.

“I’m breaking up with you.”

The words were lifeless, but you see Alexia froze. She turns in your direction, with eyes wide and the most chocked face ever.

“What?”

“I’m breaking up with you” you repeat, looking at her straight in her eyes.

A silence pass and you see Alexia watching at you, probably waiting for you to say something else. Maybe to explain yourself, but you don’t say another word. Plus, the reasons are obvious, no?

“Are you- don’t you love me anymore?”

She seems broken. That doesn’t make any sense, she is supposed to be relieved, not sad. You don’t understand her reaction, so you shrug before answering.

“That’s not the point, Alexia. You are free. I’m giving you your liberty back.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk? Did someone give you something to you?”

She seems angry now, almost shouting with her eyebrows frown. You frown too, because why the hell won’t she understand? You sit in the bed while she’s still standing in front of you.

“No! I just… Why won’t you…”

Why is your brain suddenly transformed in pudding?

You look at Alexia when she comes to you and takes your face between her hands. She does it with so much care that you want to cry again.

“Why don’t you let me break up with you?” you whisper.

“Because I love you. I told you; I’ll fight for us every day if I have to.”

There we are, you are crying again. But this time Alexia is here, she can take you against her, rock you will you cry and whispers sweets nothing in your ears. She waits for your sobbing to stop, holding you tightly. Only when you can breathe normally again, she speaks.

“What happened?” she asks softly.

You don’t know really where to start, so you just shake your head without answering anything. But she waits, again and again. So, after some minutes, you talk too.

“I just want you to be happy. I know you’ll be happier without me.”

“You are wrong.”

Her voice is gentle, but as the same time strong enough to let you know that you don’t have to try to deny it. It’s her truth and that’s enough.

“Well you need to take some time apart from me so it’s not –“

“Where the hell does that idea comes from?”

She’s lost. You were good when you end up your call some hours later. And then you appeared crying during her training, only to say her when you come home that you want to break up with her. But you frown again, lost too. And tired, to be honest.

“My therapist said that I’m leaning on you too much. And that’s way you wanted to go on holidays without me.”

You explain that like it’s the more logical thing in the world, but for Alexia it doesn’t make any sense. She starts to understand where it comes from however, even if she doesn’t understand why.

“I’m not going anywhere without you, what the point to have holidays if you’re not with me?” she answers, looking right into your eyes. “Did your therapist say other things?”

You nod and start to explain everything happened and everything she told you. The more you talk, the more Alexia seems to be furious. Her jaw is clenched, her eyes are literally throwing lightning and she so tense that you are really concerned that she can have a cramp somewhere. But when she talks to you again, her voice is infinitely soft.

“Nothing of that is true. I love you. I will do everything to help you to make you feel better. I’m not going to give up on you, Y/N. I’m not going to give up on us.”

You look at her, almost desperately. But she has the same gaze that she has when says things like this. Her eyes are soft, caring and so loving that you can’t do otherwise than believe her.

“I don’t feel like I’m better, Ale” you whisper. “I don’t think I will be one day.”

“You are. You are working, you are getting out, you are smiling again. It’s ok to have bad days, like everyone else. Yours are a little more complicated because you had to go through horrible things. But you have the right to not feel good or needing help a little more some days. And what she said was wrong.”

You are lost, honestly. Alexia can see that you are coming back at yourself again though. Like if you are waking up. You seem always a little desperate and she takes you carefully against her. You let her, sighing of relief when you find the comfort of her arms.

“What if she’s right and you haven’t realized for now?”

“She’s wrong. And she will know it.”

You don’t question what she was implying, too tired to realize what her words may imply. You let Alexia taking you in a bath and more generally taking care of you. You look at her through the mirror when she does your hair.

“When I get better, it will be me who will take care of you” you inform her.

She smiles and finish to undo a knot in your hair before answering, looking at you through the mirror too.

“Okay Cariño.”

She’s smiling but doesn’t seem to make fun of you. You relax, letting your shoulder go down a little bit. That’s mean that she really believes that you will be better.

********

Alexia keeps her promise, going to your therapist’s office in the early hours to talk to her. You don’t know what she told her, but now you don’t have to go to your appointments, and you even have a new psychiatrist, advised by someone from Alexia’s staff.

Rumor has it that Alexia’s shouts still resonate in the psychiatrist’s office.

You don’t know if it’s your breakdown of the change of therapist, but some days after this episode, you feel better than ever. You wake up with your head and your body feeling lighter and Alexia is surprised to see you coming in the kitchen when she’s taking her breakfast. Usually, you stay way longer in bed.

“Is everything alright?” she asks nervously.

You nod, rubbing your eyes before coming behind her to pass your arms around her waist.

“Just wanted to be with you a little bit before you leave.”

Alexia hums when you kiss her neck. You can feel a gaze studying you while you are making yourself coffee, before coming to sit next to her.

“Are you sure that you’re ok Cari?” she asks, almost shyly while you stole a strawberry from her bowl.

“I’m sure baby” you smile at her.

Alexia is looking at you suspiciously during several seconds. She red things about people being “high” before getting down and of course she is scared. But you seem really good today and she can’t help but smile when you kiss her cheek.

“Uhu” she said, taping her lips with expectation.

You giggle but kiss her anyway, smiling against her lips. You are still smiling when she strokes your cheek with her fingertips and when she puts her forehead against yours.

“I love you so much” she whispers before kissing you again.

“I love you more” you smiles.

Alexia makes no with her head and put a finger on your mouth when you want to talk again.

“Would you like to come with me to training today?”

You hesitate for several seconds before answering. It’s been a while since you came to see Alexia in training. You can’t remember who you saw some days before, only Mariona. But you hope that they weren’t a lot.

“You can say no if you don’t want to.” Alexia adds after seeing you hesitate.

“No, I want to come. But… Who were here, the other day? You know…”

“Only Mariona. And I’m sure that she doesn’t say anything to anyone.”

You are relieved to learn that, even if you don’t know how Alexia can know.

“Did you treat her?” you smirk.

“No” Alexia laughs. “I know the girl, she’s one of the most loyal, sweet and discreet that I’ve never met.”

She was right. Mariona didn’t told anyone about what happened and after several minutes you realize that Alexia was right once again. You hug the Mallorcan woman a little longer than Alexia’s other teammates when you met them, silently thanking her. She seems to understand because she smiles at you before taping your cheek affectionately.

And today, as you watch Alexia training and laughing on the pitch with the teammates that she considered like her family, you’re starting to have hope again. Alexia was right every time, so maybe she will be right this time again. You will be better.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas

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spencersssockss · 8 months

Text

Library

Summary: You meet Spencer at the library when going to check out The Fisher King…

Warnings: none!!!

Word count: 700

Ally: This is based loosely off the fisher king episode kinda but not really, sorry about the length!! I plan on having a second part to this one soon!!! Enjoy lovelies!

You loved reading, any free time you had was spent reading, and it served as a distraction.

Your friend had been telling you about a book she had recently heard of, it was called The Fisher King, you did a tremendous amount of research on it only to find out the only possible way to read it would be to get it from your local library as it was no longer being sold due to its old age and rarity.

You decided to visit the library after work to pick it up, luckily someone had just returned it, and just as you were checking out a nerdy, tall, and lanky man walked towards the front desk next to you.

“Do you mind if I read that book in your hand before you leave?” It’ll only take like ten minutes,” he quickly said eyes bright as he bounced his foot nervously.

“Ten minutes?” you questioned cocking an eyebrow.

Spencer bit his cheek for a second before replying, “I have an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute, I know it sounds crazy but just trust me, it's really important,” he mumbled quickly.

“I-uh okay,” you stuttered handing him the book.

Taking the book in his hands, Spencer carefully flipped through it, fingers running over every page as he read, his eyes glancing over the words quickly, taking in every detail. After what seemed like only a few seconds, he closed the book and handed it back to you with a small smile.

“There's no way you read that all,” you blurted eyes widening.

“I promise, I did. My name's Spencer Reid by the way,” he said extending his hand for you to shake.

you shook it hesitantly still in disbelief.

With a smile, Spencer continued, “I'm a psychologist and criminal profiler for the FBI, always on the lookout for new books to read, this time it was actually for a case.”

You gasped in realization, you remembered before you graduated he had done a lecture at your college. “I've seen you before, you do lectures right?” you asked.

Spencer's cheeks reddened slightly, and he nodded. "Yeah, I've given several lectures on various topics, mostly about the human mind and behavior."

“You're one of the reasons I became a counselor,” you smiled.

Spencer smiled warmly, "That's amazing. I'm glad to have played a small part in your journey." He glanced around the library, trying to think of something else to say. "Would you like to get coffee or something sometime?”

“Absolutely, do you want my number?” you asked breaking into a smile.

"I'd love your number," Spencer replied, pulling out his phone. He tapped on the screen a few times before handing it over to you. "Here, add your number, sorry for not asking your name earlier, if you don't mind me asking now what is it?” he blushed slightly.

“it's y/n,” you smiled putting in your number and handing his phone back to him.

"Thank you, Y/N," Spencer said, pocketing his phone. He couldn't help but feel a bit flustered at the interaction. It was rare for him to meet someone who understood and appreciated his work so deeply. "Well, I should probably get back to my research now.”

“Yeah, sorry for keeping you so long,” you blushed holding the book against your chest.

"It's quite alright," Spencer reassured you with a gentle smile. "I hope we can catch up again soon, maybe over that coffee or even another book." He waved goodbye before disappearing into the stacks of the library.

You stood there for a moment still in disbelief at what had just happened, the librarian laughed before saying, “he's a cutie isn't he?”

You blushed deeply turning to face her to answer, “Just a little,” you mumbled making her laugh again.

“He works for the FBI actually,” she added laughing again as your eyes widened.

“Good to know,” you smiled waving at her as you left the library and headed home to read the book. Which would probably take YOU a lot longer than ten minutes.

#criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #spencerreidssockss #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine

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ask-the-rag-dolly · 2 months

Note

Genuine question, how does one deal with someone being so insistent on their lack of (self-)worth? Not to vent too much, but I grew up with someone who was at least as bad, if not worse than Ragatha. I developed similar habits (this comic is a painful reminder of that) and my friends also tend to struggle with these feelings. But I never know how to deal with these issues, and it just leaves me feeling helpless.

I believe you‘re not a psychologist and it‘s fine if you don‘t want to answer this. But if you do have some advice or resources on this topic, I‘d love to know about it.

hi !

you're right , i am Not a psychologist ! my only credential is pretty much having it as my special interest of many years , so ... ! obligatory ' take this with a grain of salt ' disclaimer

i'm only answering this ask because i do like talking about these kinds of stuff ( in fact i'm in the middle of writing another psychology infographic with ragatha because of Course i am , ) and it's Relevant right now ... but for the most part i am literally just a stranger on the internet and thus i'll only be giving out general advice !! any specifics of the situation are stuff you'll need to figure out yourself

number one thing is that you should Always Take Care Of Yourself . it may be hard to admit , but these types of people can actually be Emotionally Draining - and i'm saying that as someone who had to deal with those people myself . and well you don't want to accidentally say things that make them feel worse

second thing is that a lot of it is ... really the other person's effort . all you can do is be supportive and gently encourage them . what took me so long to accept is that no amount of words or compliments will lift someone's self-esteem up - while it helps , it really has to come from Within , and that's something that'll take months or Years to build up . you can't force someone to start loving themself - and that's a hard pill to swallow

and the third thing is that ... well . there's a possibility that it could be a symptom of a mental disorder and thus you should encourage them to seek professional help . i am aware that the option is not available for everyone though , but i think recognizing that it might be a mental problem might take the burden off of you a little - as they're not really things a non-professional should handle .

as for resources , this article was extensive about this topic , including recognizing where the low self-esteem comes from , what Not to say to someone with low self-esteem , and tips that'll help the person ! very wonderful to read .

this article is for partners but i think it applies to people you're close with in general . what i like about it is how it Encourages open communication and listening . something you'll realize is that it's Different for everybody and it's good to learn more about the problem than jumping to a hasty solution or making assumptions . also it encourages them to talk more about their Feelings and talking about your feelings is what Very Cool And Hot People Do !

oh God sorry for the long post this should be enough to give me a diagnosis -

#[ ooc ]#[ ESSAY WARNING ]

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avonne-writes · 6 months

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I’d love your thoughts on gales relationship w his father in any of ur modern AUs + how John reacts to/fits into it!!

Thank you so much ❤️ Great question! I will describe their relationship in the high school AU, because the others are not yet defined in my head.

In the HS AU:

Gale's dad is often drunk or at a bar in the evening and gets home in the middle of the night

If he’s drunk at home, he keeps Gale up, if he gets home at night, he wakes him up by being too loud

So Gale has sleep problems. Because of this, he sleeps at Bucky’s as often as possible, which usually means every weekend and sometimes during the week too

When Gale’s dad has a bad night gambling, he gets verbally aggressive, berates Gale and his mom, blames them for bad luck etc. Bucky told Gale to call him even during the night if this happens. Gale never does, but the thought that he could feels really comforting to him.

Gale's dad isn’t overtly homophobic and he doesn’t threaten Gale for being gay. But all Gale's life, he has been saying stuff about what a real man should look like and how he should behave. The older Gale gets, the more he disagrees with the man’s ideas. This is why he grows out his hair.

A few times, Gale’s dad hit him when drunk. Bucky helped hide the bruises with his mom's make-up.

Gale asks his mom to get a divorce multiple times, but she's always torn about it and if she tells Gale's dad she's going through with it, the man sobers up for a while and acts all nice and decent to keep them.

When he starts drinking again after a nice period, Gale goes to Bucky and just lies in complete, silent defeat in his embrace.

He tells Bucky he’s moving out as soon as possible and will never go back.

None of their friends know about all this, they just know he fights with his parents and spends a lot of time hanging out at Bucky’s place.

He goes to the school psychologist every week, and Bucky always waits for him, often kicking a soccer ball around in the schoolyard. If Gale had a session that shook him / left him drained, he sits on a bench and Bucky shows him tricks with the ball and plays around until Gale smiles again.

Gale's parents almost never attend school events / swim meets / competitions.

Gale's mom is so caught up in her own struggles that she uses him as a crutch too in dealing with his dad. Gale is used to taking this responsibility on his shoulders but as he gets older, and especially after meeting Bucky's mom, he realizes that this is not how it should be and he grows resentful. It’s perhaps unfair but he resents her more than his dad and then feels guilty for it.

Gale loves Bucky's mom and she loves him too. One day, when he has a crisis, she tells her that she'll always be there for him, even if he and Bucky break up.

Bucky's mom is a single parent and is away a lot due to work (which feeds into one of Bucky's problems, but that's a different story). But she's laidback about a lot of things and doesn’t try to hold Bucky back from exploring, so it's not really an issue when they start having sex. There’s none of that bullshit "open door policy".

Gale categorically refuses to take Bucky home with him. They've been dating for like two years or something already when he lets Bucky enter the house with him for the first time.

By the time this happens, Bucky is taller than Gale's dad. He’s gangly but he’s not intimidated by the man. Him being all protective actually makes Gale feel a mix of affection and arousal.

There’s definitely an altercation between Bucky and Gale's dad at one point, possibly close to graduation, but Bucky disengages when he realizes that it makes Gale upset.

Bucky helps Gale learn how to relax and enjoy things. Gale reassures Bucky that Gale is someone he can always count on and who won't abandon him.

#mota #buck x bucky #gale cleven #john egan #clegan #hs au #anon #my writing #gale's childhood

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leonawriter · 4 months

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It's funny - from chapter one to the present day, Shinichi's always been more forthcoming with his feelings and confident about what he feels in front of others than Ran?

Like... seriously.

In this image here, set a year pre-canon, Megure says "Ho! So the two of you are on an aquarium date together, are you?" and Shinichi's response is an easy "Oh, does it look like that?" while blushing.

RAN is the one to go "I-it's nothing like that! Nothing like that at all!"

Just like however long it is later in chapter one...

Where she points out how much fan mail he's been getting, assuming that just because Shinichi is getting the fan mail, and that he likes the attention, that means he must be reciprocating some of it, and/or be flirting a lot. She says "I don't mind you going ga-ga over these girls... but you should really narrow it down to one!"

Shinichi's actual response is to go "Down to one, eh..." while giving her a side glance, blushing, as she looks away.

If anything I'd say that this gives a snapshot into how both of them have maladaptive affection styles.

Shinichi, who is mostly left to his own devices and treated as an adult when he's still a child (has lived on his own for several years when he's not yet seventeen), is of course going to look for attention from any avenue he can find it in. He's starved of it from his parents, so he'll take it from others. At the same time, because he takes surface attention from multiple sources, and because his parents are away (meaning he's forced to be self-sufficient) it's hard for him to ask for a specific person's attention. That's on top of his pre-existing difficulties with expressing his own emotions.

Ran, meanwhile, has seen her parents split up and her mother move out, and even here in the flashback she's trying to get them to fall back in love, and move in together... in short, for things to be more like they were when she was a child. However, because of those issues, she seems afraid of committing her emotions to something like this - she feels strongly, so if she gives her heart to someone, she's sure that she's going to get rejected, or hurt.

If anything, it's an inversion of the "girl knows how she feels, boy is oblivious to emotions that aren't to do with fighting, etc" that's prevalent in shounen manga while also fitting their backstories.

(Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist; the terms seemed to fit but I'm not diagnosing anything.)

#dcmk stuff #leona rereads dcmk #shinran

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makeitmingi · 5 months

Text

The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 39]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.3K

Chapter warning(s): There are some possible triggers in this chapter. Mentions of a bad past, depression, anxiety, self harm, mental health instability, therapy sessions with a psychologist. Please read at your own discretion.

"And you're good to go." The nurse handed you the kitten's medications. You hummed and went through it before scanning the receipt and paying for everything. It was a hefty bill, as expected of vet visits.

"We're all set. Let's go." You and Yunho went to the car, he opened the door for you to enter. But he didn't start the car, you just sat in the passenger seat with the kitten in your lap.

"So what do we do?" Yunho asked. You threw your head back against the seat.

"I don't know, Yunho. What should I do?" You turned to him. He reached over to scratch the underneath of the kitten's chin.

"Whatever you decide to do, I'll support you to the best that I can, okay?" Yunho smiled, reaching up to hold your hand. You chewed on your bottom lip, thinking about your options.

"Knowing how black cats are stigmatised in a shelter, he's not going to get adopted and the way that they're overcrowded..." You sighed sadly.

"I know, you won't be able to leave the little guy alone. If you decide to keep him, we'll take turns taking care of him." Yunho chuckled.

"Really? You'll do that? Okay, I'll keep him with me. If I put him in a shelter, I'll go crazy thinking about him. He's already been abandoned once, he needs a good home and people who will take care of him." You smiled. Yunho nodded his head, reaching over to cup your cheeks and give you a kiss.

"Alright. That means you're officially a cat mom to this little one right here." Yunho giggled.

"Means you're a cat dad." You replied. Yunho's eyes widened at your words then softened, the kitten was really going to be like your first child and it warmed his heart.

"Tomorrow, we should go get him some actual things since he's going to stay permanently." Yunho suggested and you nodded.

"All that's left is to give him a name." You said.

"You're terrible with names though. Look at what you named your stuffed golden retriever and stuffed manatee." Yunho laughed and you glared at him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Yuyu and Yunnie are great names!" You scoffed.

"They're basically variations of my name. That's not very creative." Yunho pointed out. You rolled your eyes, deciding to just ignore his insults. The kitten playfully pawed at the buttons of your shirt and you held him away.

"Don't do that." You scolded lightly, clicking your tongue. He just let out a loud meow in defiance. You and Yunho burst out laughing at how cute he was.

"Let's go back to mine to chill for a bit, drop the kitten off then go in for dinner shift." You said.

"Alright. He's probably tired for all his jabs too. They're usually like that." Yunho nodded and went back to your house.

"Here you go. All nice and comfy, have a nice sleep." You placed the kitten in the crate, amongst the blankets, but left the gate open since you and Yunho were around.

"So..." You handed Yunho a cup of cold brew coffee as you sat on the couch with him.

"You worried me this morning when you didn't show up." Yunho stroked your cheek with his thumb.

"I know... I'm sorry, I should have told you but I didn't know how to. I've been stressing over this for a while, wondering how I'm going to tell you this. It's nothing against you, it's me, I just... I don't know." You sighed, burying your face in your hands. Yunho gently pulled your hands away, kissing your forehead.

"Don't worry, take your time. Just tell me whatever you want to." He said, bringing your thighs over his lap and wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you.

"Remember when we visited my mother... I said I'll tell you more about my life after my mother died? How I barely survived."

"Yeah. I remember." Yunho nodded. You sighed and leaned against his chest, trying to collect your thoughts.

"When I got older, I became that typical brooding kid. I wanted to see if my father still cared about me so I acted out, I did a lot of things, didn't come home, mixed with the wrong crowd..." You started.

"But he was too distracted by my stepmother to care that I didn't even come home." You scoffed.

"What about Seonghwa?" Yunho asked.

"He was the only one that cared, he wanted to go to the police multiple times but I would always contact me and assure him that I'm safe. But soon, I just... distanced myself. I liked the life outside, it helped me feel numb." You chuckled bitterly.

"I wasn't proud of it, the things I did. I thought those people actually cared about me. They made me feel loved, like I belong to something." You said, tears forming in your eyes.

"Baby..." Yunho grabbed a tissue and gently wiped your tears away from your cheeks.

"I was going crazy, Yun. I was killing myself and my father didn't give a damn about me!" You squeezed your eyes shut.

"Shh, shh. Okay, you don't have to go further." Yunho wrapped both arms around you, bringing you onto his lap and hugging you tightly. He hushed you softly.

"N-No, I have to. I need to tell you the truth." You shook your head.

"I hurt Hwa the most. I pushed away the only person that's ever loved me and cared about me." You cried.

"He knows you didn't mean it. I'm sure you didn't mean it too. Sometimes when we're hurting, we also end up hurting the ones that are the closest to us." Yunho stroked your head.

"Seonghwa and his parents were the only ones that helped me. Seonghwa got me out of that whole situation, made me leave that life and checked me into an institution. He got me the help I need and has been with me through everything, every step of my life. I owe him my life." You said.

"You were institutionalised?" Yunho blinked.

"He didn't force me. Seonghwa and I spoke, I agreed that it was the only way for me to be functioning again. If it's not for her, I would be dead by now." You said.

"It was the right choice then. I'm glad you got the help you need (y/n)." He held your hand.

"That's why I hesitated to tell you all this, Yunho. It's not something I'm proud of and it's shocking to-"

"No. Thank you for telling me this and trusting me to tell you this. I'm not scared of you, who am I to judge you after everything you've been through on your own." He pressed his forehead against yours.

"So besides this morning, if you've noticed that I disappear or have errands to run in the morning. I'm seeing my psychologist." You said.

"I understand, that makes sense. Do these sessions help?" He seemed hesitant to ask.

"I guess. I don't know how to describe it. It keeps me sane and yet, I feel like I'm driving off the deep end. Obviously I'm far from 'healing' if I can even be healed in any way. But it helps me sort my thoughts and feelings out." You explained.

"That's all that matters then." He kissed your temple.

"The fact is, the topic of family will always be a wound that never closes. It's just something I am taking a long time to come to terms with and to deal with." You sighed.

"And that's okay. Some times you take a lifetime to heal and that's okay too." He comforted.

"It makes me feel useless though. Every time I feel like I'm making progress, my father does something that sends me back two steps."

"I wish your father would just leave you alone." He said honestly.

"Like I said, I'm still holding on to the possibility that he'll go back to the man or father that he once was. But each time, that hope slowly slips from my grasp." You rubbed your forehead.

"And that's not your fault. You've given him so many chances and sacrificed so much of yourself for him. It's not fair to you." Yunho frowned.

"It's not just that too. I... Just like going to my mother's grave, every time I see my psychologist, it mentally exhausts me. I become a void. I try not to but it just happens. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jongho all know, they've been very understanding of that." You informed.

"They always try to be here for me after a session. Even if all I do is sleep, them being here helps me a lot. It brings me comfort." You smiled.

"No wonder you're all so close. Right from the start, when I met all of you and saw how you worked together, it was like all of you were more than friends." Yunho said.

"We're family. Y-You are my family too." You smiled softly.

"That's right. If I could change your past, trust me I would. But for the future, you'll never be alone again." He pressed his lips to yours.

"Thank you, Yunho. For loving me and showing me love." You whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck. Yunho laughed and showered you in kisses.

"Ack!" You struggled. You were both interrupted by the kitten standing there, meowing at the two of you.

"Someone doesn't like to be excluded it seems." Yunho laughed. You bent down to pick the kitten up, putting him in your lap.

"I am tempted to name you Shadow because you follow me around like a shadow. But... Thinking about the wood type that I like to use when I'm smoking meats... How about Whiskey? He looks like he'll respond to that name." You asked, stroking the top of Whiskey's head while he rubbed his cheek against your stomach.

"Whiskey? That's... actually not a bad name. It's random how you relate it to smoking meats but it's cute." Yunho said, cooing at the kitten.

"I relate everything in my life to cooking and food alright?" You rolled your eyes, making Yunho laugh.

"And I wouldn't have you any other way." Yunho smiled.

"We should go soon or we'll be late." You stood up, holding Whiskey in your arms. Yunho followed you to your room, helping you set up a fence to cage Whiskey in with his crate and litter box.

"Looks like I'll have to move things around and train him to use the litter box." You rubbed the back of his neck.

"One step at a time." Yunho held your hand. You nodded in agreement. Suddenly, Yunho tugged you to him, hugging you tightly.

"I love you, (y/n). You're not broken, you're not a burden, you're not alone. You've survived for so long, having to carry all this on your back. You're amazing and strong." Yunho said as he hugged you, his voice cracking a little.

"I love you. You're perfect just the way you are, I don't want or need you to change." The way Yunho spoke about you with love, only Seonghwa has ever spoke about you as such, and it broke your heart.

"Oh, Yun. Don't cry over me. It's not worth it... And I love you too." You pulled him down slightly so you could hold his face in your hands, wiping his tears.

"Don't say that. You are worth it." He pressed his face into your shoulder and cried for you, and everything you've been through.

"You take such good care of me, Yunho. I'm sorry I haven't been able to give anything back to you." You apologised.

"No. Not at all." He shook his head. Yunho never measured or thought that he gave you more than you gave him. In fact, he was just over the moon you trusted him enough to tell him everything.

"Let's wash our faces and go to the restaurant." Yunho smiled. You nodded with a hum.

After washing your faces in cold water to try and hide the fact that the both of you just cried, you and Yunho headed to the restaurant, not wanting to be late and keep the cooking team waiting. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jongho were already in Jongho's car when you and Yunho arrived.

"Hwa." You went up to your best friend and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head as you buried your face against his chest.

"I told him everything." You whispered, just audible enough for him to hear you.

"Okay. We can about it later." He replied.

"Sure." You nodded. Seonghwa held your hand as you all walked up to the restaurant. Yunho just let him, knowing you probably needed Seonghwa right now.

"Yunho... What did you do? Because I swear to all the heavens and levels of hell that exists, if you hurt my jagi, I'll-"

"Woo, calm down. He didn't do anything to me." You stopped the male from raging.

"He better not have." Jongho crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow at Yunho. The taller male just gulped, suddenly frightened for his life with Wooyoung and Jongho's threats. He took a step towards you, hiding behind you even if your height can't hide him.

"Why are you hiding behind me? Do you really think they can't see you? Do you not remeber that you're taller than me." You laughed as you looked at Yunho.

"I know I'm taller than you. But you're scarier and fiercer than me so you can protect me. Especially against them." Yunho said sheepishly.

"Unbelieveable." You shook your head and facepalmed.

"Alright, let's start cooking." Seonghwa clapped his hands, getting everyone's attention. All of you brought out the trays of deli containers with the prepped ingredients you prepared.

"Everyone knows what they're doing right? Sound out if you're available or need help." You instructed.

"I'm starting the ice cream churner for our dessert." Wooyoung said. You made the pickled beetroot for your salmon dish since that needed to sit aside to pickle.

"My beetroot is pickling and the other components of the dish is all last minute prep. Is anyone available to do appetisers with me?" You asked. Before Seonghwa, Wooyoung or Jongho could reply, Yunho raised his hand with a big, excited smile on his face. You let out a snort of amusement.

"Me! Me! Me!" Yunho grinned, pushing his hand further as if you would not be able to see him.

"Fine. Yun, you're with me on appetisers." You shook your head and laughed. Yunho fist pumped in victory and was by your side instantly, with his apron on and ready.

"I need you to flake the fish. Use these two forks and pull it apart like this. But not too small because we're going to mix it with stuff later, that's going to break it further." You demonstated to him.

"Sure, I can do that." Yunho nodded and began to do as instructed. You worked on something else beside him.

"What fish is this?" He asked.

"Grilled swordfish. We're going to mix it with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, red wine vinegar, tomatoes and grilled peppers. You eat it with bread." You said.

"I'll do the prep for the components of the salad so we can assemble it to order." Jongho said. Yunho was proud that he could do more complex kitchen tasks without you having to look over and check on him. Only if he had a question or asked for your help.

"How much of each do I add?" Yunho asked as you placed all the dressing ingredients in front of him.

"Trust your intuition, Yun. Add the tomatoes and peppers first, the others, add little by little until the taste is right to you." You smiled, patting his shoulder.

"What? I-I can't, I don't even know what it's supposed to taste like." Yunho's eyes widened.

"You'll know when you taste it." You encouraged him.

"Olive oil is rich, red wine vinegar is tart, balsamic vinegar is sweet. Then salt and pepper. There's optional lemon juice to add too, if you'd like. It's all about balance." You explained the flavours to him.

"Is that too much tartness? With the two vinegars and the lemon juice." Yunho asked.

"It depends on how sweet the peppers and tomatoes are today. Different batches and varieties all taste differently." You shrugged.

"But I... I don't-..." Yunho whimpered worriedly. You laughed, totally not feeling any sympathy for him. But still, you quietly did tasks that allowed you to stay by Yunho's side, silently giving him moral support. He frowned as focused on the bowl in front of him so he didn't notice the way you watched him from the corner of your eye.

"Hmm..." He would tilt his head as he tasted the dish then add more salt, pepper or vinegar. After another taste, he added a few drops of lemon juice to taste again and nodded in approval.

"Are you laughing at me?" Yunho whipped his head to you when he heard you stifle a laugh.

"Not at all. I think it's just amazing how far you've come, Yun." You smiled and his ears turned bright red at your praise.

"Can you check if it tastes okay?" Yunho pushed the big mixing bowl to you. You grabbed a plastic tasting spoon and took a taste of the swordfish mixture.

"It's great, Yun. A touch more black pepper though. But otherwise, it's perfect. See? I knew you could do it." You chuckled.

"Stop~" Yunho whined but add more pepper before folding it in. When he was done, he put it aside.

"Good evening, everyone." Hongjoong, Yeosang, Mingi and San came in. You all exchanged greetings with one another before they went to the locker room to put their things down. Then they headed out to the front to prepare for dinner service.

"Your team might need you. We've got it here." You said to Yunho. He pouted but nodded, leaning to sneak a kiss on your cheek then headed out to the front.

"Let's go through reservations for the night." Yunho called his friends. Since it was a busy Friday, family meal was extras of the bolognese.

"Ice cream is looking good and done. I'm moving it to the freezer." Seonghwa announced.

"Thanks, hyung." Wooyoung replied, busy preparing the dish that he was assigned to for the night. You cooked the pasta that the staff would be eating for family meal.

"Bolognese is good." Jongho informed.

"If anyone has time, have your dinner before the full swing of the Friday night crowd comes in." You said.

"Dinner is ready and in the bins whenever you guys are hungry and available to eat." Wooyoung told the team at the front of the house before coming back to the kitchen. You had a plate of pasta in your hands as you walked through all the prep for tonight, not wanting to miss anything out.

"Eat first." Seonghwa placed his hands on your shoulder, guiding you away from the walk in and to the table where his own plate of pasta was waiting for him.

"Don't worry, Hwa. I just want to make sure nothing is missed out." You said, sitting with him at a booth.

Seeing you and Seonghwa sit together at a table, engaged in your own conversation, Yunho moved to sit with his friends instead.

"This afternoon was hectic. But I told Yunho everything." You informed Seonghwa in a hushed voice as you ate. Seonghwa nodded, reaching over to hold your hand.

"That's great." He smiled, happy that you let someone else into your world to see the real you.

Series masterlist

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rekino2114 · 3 months

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can I ask sdra2 with reader that got cheated/ or almost died by their ex

Sdra2 girls with a reader that was abused by their ex

A/n:I kinda decided to go with a mix of the two ideas you gave me

Sora

(Credit to @omori-kunster for this amazing sora banner my weird brain got bothered that she doesn't have an introduction like everyone else so I decided to use this, please let me know if you're ok with me using it)

Sora probably picked up on some habits of yours that suggested you had a troubled past with relationship, and wanting you to trust her completely asked you about it.

She was flabbergasted when you told her that your ex abused you, why would they do that to such a kind and sweet person?

If she meets your ex she will just glare at incredibly hard while mentally spouting out all of the possible insults she can think of.

"Don't worry y/n, I won't treat you like that. I love only you, and nothing will make me stop"

Kokoro mitsume

She already knew about it very early in your relationship, but she didn't want to confront you about it because she wanted you to be the one to bring it up whenever you felt ready.

She's probably one of the best people you could tell. She's a psychologist, so she probably knows how to handle similar situations. She'll make sure to show you her love more directly after that conversation to show you that she's not like your ex.

She asks you to ignore your ex if you ever meet them again. They don't deserve your time, plus engaging in conversations with them might trigger you.

"I'm very proud of you for telling me this y/n. You are very brave to open up, and I'm glad you trust me enough to do so"

Emma magorobi

Even with her acting skills, she couldn't hide how heartbroken, surprised, and pissed off she was at hearing your story, she just couldn't believe someone could do this to you.

She decided to share a bit of her traumatic past with you too, if you trusted her that much, then she should do the same.

This is one of the few times she thinks about using her influence for something like this. She'll accuse your ex of everything you told her they did on social media, hoping to get them arrested.

"I am so sorry for what happened, my love, but on the bright side, now we know we can trust each other even more"

Setsuka chiebukuro

She probably noticed when you flinched while she was hugging you, she loves being physically affectionate but she wants you to be comfortably with it first, she will sit you down and try to ask you what was wrong.

She was just so shocked that something like that happened to you, she knows people like that exist but she didn't expect you to be a victim of that. She will remind you of her love daily and will make sure to show you that she is much much better than your ex.

She might try to find out who your ex is if you don't feel like telling her, if to just satisfy her curiosity. But if you ever meet them again she will turn your head the other direction while hugging you and shooting them a death glare.

"Don't worry now. Big sis has got you, no one will hurt you again while she's with you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. Don't forget that, ok baby?"

Hibiki otonokoji

Hibiki doesn't have much experience with love so she probably didn't notice anything particularly weird about your behavior, she just thought you were shy and didn't like physical affection and it was fine with her.

When you told her that you were actually abused by your ex, she just started crying and hugging you. She blames herself for not noticing earlier, but from now on, she makes sure everyone treats you nicely, even by yelling at them if they do anything to trigger you.

She could not contain her rage if she saw your ex around. She would just scream and yell at them until she had no voice left in her, and thanks to her vocal training that's a lot of time. (She considered beating them up too but then realized she's too weak)

"I'm so sorry for not noticing earlier y/n but don't worry I will make sure no one treats you like that again you only deserve the best"

Kanade otonokoji

Your ex is so dead. As soon as she learned you had an ex, she was already planning to kill them just to make sure they didn't bother your relationship, but when she learned they actually abused you,her plans got way way more brutal.

Of course she will make sure you feel loved and protected, she'll make everything she can to make you trust her, she'd never hurt you after all, but with the people who harm you it's another story.

You'll never see your ex again because conveniently, shortly after telling kanade about them, they disappeared mysteriously, while it was a surprise it definitely wasn't an unwelcome one.

"Darling, don't worry about your ex anymore, ok? I promise they'll never hurt you again as will no one else I'll make sure of that my love"

Iroha nijiue

Iroha isn't the smartest so she'll probably mistake some of your gestures as shyness or simply inexperience like hibiki.

She cried too when she heard your experiences, she blamed herself even If she didn't do anything, you ended up being the one to comfort her but she makes sure to show you her love too especially by hugging you a lot.

She's way too shy and scared to do anything if she ever meets your ex so she will just ask you to go to another place.

"I-i'm sorry for what you've been through y/n *sniffle* I really am. B-but if it makes you feel better I love you and will never treat you like that"

Yoruko kabuya

Yoruko is pretty observant, so even if not immediately, she noticed the signs but didn't wanna be too forward so she waited for you to be ready to tell her, dropping hints that she was fine with whatever happened in your past along the way.

While she expected it to be something like this, she was still surprised at the sheer amount of abuse you went trough, she will try to comfort you the best she can and will try to be a little less tsundere and show you her love more directly.

She really doesn't want you to meet your ex again to keep you safe so if she ever sees them she will guide you away and start berating them with insults and threats.

"I feel really sorry for you y/n but at least you have me now, you're safe with me...and loved"

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beemovieerotica · 6 months

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What's your degree in evolution say about that impregnation post?

tldr; no, it's not weird that humans don't go into heat.

ok so first off there are a lot of mammals that have concealed ovulation --- they don't physically, outwardly show when they're most fertile --- and there can be a lot of reasons for this.

but the biggest misconception that people have about evolution that I want to lay out first, is that just because something seems "more efficient" or "more advantageous" does not mean that it's going to evolve or *should have* already evolved. this is a big creationist argument too ("if evolution were real, then we would have evolved x, y, z")

if something works, it works. the fact that humans don't have obvious signs of when they're ovulating does not mean that we are a somehow "less efficient" species or that sex has a different purpose for us. rabbits also do not go into heat. they don't signal when they're ovulating. but, famously, they breed (like rabbits).

it's not good science to talk about traits and behaviors from this kind of benefit-based, anticipatory mindset. and I don't know how else to describe it, but it's like saying "oh, that fish has little legs because it needed to crawl up onto the sand." KILL THIS IN YOUR MIND! just because something ended up being good for a species and having incidental positives does not make that thing the "purpose" or driving force behind how that trait became ubiquitous across the species.

[[long aside, imagine if you will: a fish gets a mutation that makes its fins weirdly stiff. a bunch of fish get washed up on a shore, as happens, sometimes, because of the weather. and most of the fish die, but look, this fish with the weirdly stiff fins is able to leverage and worm and flop its way back into the water because its fins prop it up a little bit more than the other fish. it gets back into the water. it has more babies than the other fish (who are dead). etc. etc. etc. no purpose involved. it did not intend to grow legs.]]

"ok but why DON'T humans go into heat? if it could have happened either way, and if it's all about costs and benefits, wouldn't that be helpful, because it would mean guaranteed pregnancy?"

we're not special. many monkeys and other apes do not go into heat. again, if it works, it works, and we're doing great at getting pregnant without it.

we don't know if our human ancestors DID go into heat and if we lost that trait, OR if they never did and the trait evolved totally separate from us on other branches of the tree-- you can't necessarily determine if a trait was acquired or lost based on the number of species that exhibit it overall. you'd have to do some gene-by-gene detective work, and ovulation signalling is a complex process that's not tied to just one gene, and people are still figuring that out

you WILL see some biologists talking about how concealed ovulation "promotes monogamy" and I have to stress what an utter minefield a lot of speculative evolution is. we are TRAPPED in our current cultural context!!!

scientists who are otherwise so rational and good at thinking about things impartially will dip their toes into the evolution of sex and suddenly turn stupid. i've seen respected PhDs argue that the evolution of large breast tissue in humans is meant to "attract mates" - because western society finds breasts erotic - ignoring the fact that breasts aren't considered remotely sexual in pre-industrial societies - so of course these same guys are going to say that monogamy is some kind of end goal of an actual physical trait that humans possess.

SPOILER ALERT: there are between 6 and 13 non-monogamous primates that also conceal ovulation. oh no!! looks like monogamy isn't the point.

and then you have psychologists (who even asked??) doing studies like this

https://www.forbes.com/sites/rebeccacoffey/2021/01/29/estrus-and-the-evolution-of-mean-girl-behavior-like-slut-shaming-among-women/?sh=ca83660606b3

["estrus" is the word for behavioral changes that signal ovulation] the study is truly a wild ride but here's some highlights that show just how much people are letting their current cultural biases influence the actual design of their studies

-> all males wanted badly to mate -> females did not have promiscuity ratings -> female mate value relied heavily on physical attractiveness

it goes without saying that as long as researchers are forming their speculations on past ancestral human societies by just, looking around at their immediate culture and not questioning it at all, we're not going to get anywhere closer to understanding why the human body works the way it does

i'm losing the thread a bit because studies like this make me see red, but the point is that you're going to see a lot of insane takes from actual researchers on why human sex and biology works the way it does. you're going to see weird extrapolation and creationist-adjacent reasoning about evolution leading toward some "purpose" or people having some idea of what an ideal human body would or wouldn't do.

okay but at the end of the day, if a random human did evolve the ability to go into heat? would they be substantially more successful at producing children, and would that gene eventually become the norm for the species? no. there are so many goddamn humans in existence, and you've already got catholics having like 8 children per family anyway, so really, if there was a gene for being catholic then that would probably win out.

#ask #science #biology #evolution

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stem-sister-scuffle · 8 months

Text

STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 1 MASHUP 9

Mercymorn The First (The Locked Tomb) vs GLaDOS (Portal)

Mercymorn The First is a Cryogenics Scientist and Anatomist!

GLaDOS is a Quantum Physicist and Behavioural Psychologist!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Mercymorn The First:

"Scientist working on human cryogenics/necromancy. She's a genius in a codependent toxic polycule with God."

"Fits the criteria for STEM (science, tech, engineering, math (specifically science)), and also Quirky STEM (stabbing, tearing, eating, maiming). She was a scientist trying to save humanity from global warming, before one of her science buddies became a necromancer and killed the entire world. Now she’s the meanest lady ever and had a threesome with god. Also she got ultra exploded (also by god)"

"She was trying very, very hard to save humanity! She was aiming to preserve people for an interstellar voyage, so that humans could survive the end of the world. It didn't work out and the project got shut down, but after the world ended she pioneered the field of necromantic healing and was known as the foremost anatomical expert among God's Lyctors. She says ick! bleh! out loud when she's disgusted. Also she's much, much more ethical than most people in the series."

"She was a doctor that joined several of her friends, most of whom were other STEM people and a few who weren't, in trying to convince the governments of the world to make an active plan to save the world from climate change. This ended up with one of them destroying the solar system and everything in it, resurrecting it all, and becoming God. She was resurrected as one of his Saints, and continued to use her medical knowledge to become an anatomy specialist and as a key part of a plan between her and another of their friends to take down God for being a tyrant. She might have been an OBGYN but I can't remember if that's actually canon. Also, she has naturally "apricot-colored" (so, pink) hair."

"She was a Regular Doctor working to save humanity from climate change but got resurrected by her friend after he ended the world and became a powerful goddess-like figure. She uses her knowledge of human anatomy to do crazy flesh magic including making her hair naturally pink just for funsies (iconic). She doesn't put up with any bullshit from anyone, including the universe's ostensible god. I love her"

"It's not specifically described but she was the medical support in a cryosleep project, and she knows enough later to have artificially created a baby without either of the biological parents knowing about it

She's the worst and I love her. Here's a description of her in Harrow the Ninth:

You could press your hand to Ianthe’s chest, if you wanted—which you didn’t, naturally—and the blood-warm sternum beneath would gradually unfold for you. But it would take effort, and close contact, and you would need to know the sternum.

Mercymorn the First knew the sternum. Mercymorn the First knew the pericardial fat, the soft-tissue secrets of the mediastinum, the false-heart shape of the thymus. You might have to press your whole palm to Ianthe’s breastbone—doubtless—and take valuable seconds to search out the bone, and the things behind the bone, their characters, their locations. Mercymorn could pinpoint your pineal gland with the merest touch to the skull. This was not due to some Lyctoral power that she alone possessed, no honed necromantic theorem; as God had told you, she had simply memorised the body, by rote, over the course of ten thousand years. She had studied the measurements and their range of differences, and on the rare occasions when she needed to assume where something was or how it worked, her assumptions had the accuracy of ten thousand years’ experience. What Mercy didn’t know about the body wasn’t just not worth knowing, said the Emperor; if she didn’t know it, it hadn’t existed previously.

Over the dinner table you asked Augustine why, if it was simply a matter of memory, he hadn’t done the same thing. Ianthe choked discreetly on a forkful of boiled flour-paste shapes in red sauce. “Lord! I can barely remember what I had for lunch last week,” he said. “Besides, anatomy has too narrow an application.” Mercymorn opened her mouth, hurricane eyes promising a coastal lashing, and said, “Application!” but Augustine said, languidly— “One would only really need it to kill Lyctors, Harrowhark, and the rest of us never evinced any interest in that.”

That broke up the dinner somewhat.

This is her and I love her dearly

https://youtu.be/pvJOuUJNcx8"

GLaDOS:

"i’m not sure how to explain this one. she’s an evil computer who makes a woman do fucked up tasks that all involve a portal gun in some way. evil computer woman i love you :3"

"She's witty, fun, they had to restrain her intelligence and it didn't work-"

"She should be able to kill everyone forever. Anyways she runs aperture she loves science so much it transcended lives and identity. It’s just what she does"

"she kills people 👍 shes cool and i like her"

"…. I mean she’s categorically not but it would be funny to include her. Again, it would be Very Funny"

"mad scientist robot representation with a complex emotional arc through multiple video games"

"She might not know what the point of her tests are, but she sure is good at making them. Bonus points for being hot"

"Managed a massive and highly advanced scientific facility in which she ran tests and experiments long after the fall of human civilization. Chell/GLaDOS <3"

"She’s GLaDOS"

#stem sister scuffle #round 1 #mercymorn the first #the locked tomb #glados #portal #portal 2

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