#I know I say shit but I can justify it bro
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Shameless - chap. 1
Sukuna x Reader - MDNI!!
Summary: You didn't expect to end up under that guy you met on your weekend getaway, but you're glad you did.
Tags: reader-insert, pov second person, p in v, creamp/e, size k/nk, c/nnilingus
Posted on ao3 as a longfic
It’s at a hockey game that you first meet Sukuna Ryoumen.
Minnesota Wild versus Seattle Kraken. You’re a Seattle fan through and through, and you were lucky enough to be visiting your friend in the East the very weekend your favourite team was playing there. You bought tickets as soon as you realized the dates lined up.
Fast forward two weeks, and here you are. You’re donning your navy blue jersey, the one you got at your first Seattle game. Your friends, Shoko and Utahime, are getting seated to your left.
On your right is an adorable pink-haired little kid, probably around six or seven. He turns to say something to the guy next to him—possibly the most attractive man you’ve ever seen in your life.
He’s big. Like, at least twice your size, if not triple. His arms are crossed, and the flexed muscles show through his sweater—a deep green one. It matches the Minnesota hat he wears on top of his hair, the same shade of pink as the kid’s. He’s got interesting tattoos on his face.
Despite him being the enemy, you can’t stop your eyes from dragging up and down his body. He looks like he’s never smiled a day in his life, but when the kid taps his shoulder to talk to him, his face lights up. He answers with enthusiasm, and says something to make the little boy start giggling. Hot and good with kids? They don’t make them like this anymore.
You might be drooling, but luckily you’re saved when Shoko nudges you to wake you from your trance. “Whoa, dude. You were totally staring at that guy.”
“I was justified, though. Look at him!” You discreetly side-eye the mysterious man to your right. “Hot hockey dad? Sign me up!”
“He’s a Minnesota fan. Might as well give up now. What’re you gonna do when you drive back on Monday?” Shoko has a good point—but what’s the harm in a little hallway crush?
“He also might be married, if he’s got a kid,” says Utahime, taking a bite out of a comically large pretzel.
“I’ll check for a wedding band. D’you think I could find a way to talk to him?” You look over to see the man tickle the boy, making him erupt into contagious little-kid giggles.
Shoko sighs. “You’re something special, man. No, I don’t know how you’re gonna seduce a married father.”
“Not seduce, and potentially not married, either. God forbid I have a little hope, Sho.”
“I think that what Shoko is saying is to set your expectations very low,” Utahime tells you, very wisely. “If you talk, you talk, and if you don’t, you don’t. It’ll be weird if you try to force anything.”
Shoko nods in agreement. “Also, if you humiliate the shit out of yourself in front of him, we don’t know you.”
“Never seen you in our lives.” Utahime nibbles at her pretzel again.
“Thanks, guys. I love hearing how much you appreciate and value my company.”
“Knock ‘em dead, bro.”
The first goal is scored, and you cheer with the other Seattle fans. Hot Dad’s son stands up, too, jumping with you.
“Wrong team, Yuji,” he says. “We like the green ones.”
“Aww..” The boy—Yuji—pouts. “Why can’t I cheer for the blue ones?”
“Because that’s not our team. You live here, Yuji. Don’t you wanna support people from your own state?”
“Yeah, but you live in Seattle. Why don’t you like your city?”
He lives in Seattle?! And Yuji doesn’t live with him… Maybe he’s only an uncle?
“I do like my city, but I used to live here. I grew up with this team. I’m only in Seattle so I can go to school.”
He’s in university—you wonder if you’ll see him around? Probably not. Hot Uncle will most likely stay in your fantasies.
The game finishes before you know it. Nothing interesting happens—other than Seattle winning—for the rest of the weekend. Soon, it’s time for you to go back to your city and start the new school year.
Your first week is uneventful; it’s your second year, so you don’t need to go to all the networking events you forced yourself into attending last year. It’s just straight into lessons.
You heard about a few different parties, but you’d rather be there with at least a few people you know, and none of your friends were interested. Satoru mentioned that he wanted to host one, so you’d go to his, but that’s about it. This year, you’re mostly focused on your grades.
Well, that’s what you thought. All your ambitions fly out the window when a familiar tattooed face sits down next to you in your Sociology lesson.
“This might sound crazy,” he whispers. “But were you at a hockey game last weekend?”
Holy shit. He recognizes you?
“Uh, yeah. In Minnesota, right? I think we were sitting next to each other?”
“Mhm. I was with my brother, Yuji. I knew you looked familiar. Glad to know I’m not crazy.”
You chuckle. “If it wasn’t you, I’d be a little confused. Not many pink-haired powerlifters around here.”
He laughs. “Thanks—Oh, I can’t believe I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Sukuna Ryoumen.”
You tell him your name as well. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but is cut off by your professor beginning his lecture.
“Let’s talk later,” he mouths to you. You nod and smile to yourself.
About 30 minutes after your lecture, you have this strange feeling that you’re being followed.
“Hey,” a familiar voice calls behind you. You were right. The speaker quickens his pace to reach you. “What’s up?”
“Nice to see you again! I don’t have much going on, just heading to the library. You?”
Sukuna shrugs. “I’ve got a class in that direction at two. Otherwise I don’t have anything.”
“It’s one forty-five, you should probably get going. Oh, but do you have plans this evening?”
“Nah, I was just gonna watch TV or something. Why do you ask?”
“My friend Satoru is throwing a party tonight. It starts at ten, if you want to join us.”
“I’m down. Here, I’ll give you my number, so you can text me the address.” Sukuna pulls a random pen out of his pocket. He reaches for your hand and scribbles his number on it.
You laugh, ignoring the way your hand tingles where he touched it. “I’ll text you. See you tonight, hopefully?”
“See you tonight,” he agrees.
—
“Sukuna! You made it!” You wave over the giant who’s just entered the room. He towers over most of the people—he’s even taller than Satoru, and definitely bigger overall. Sukuna has the most muscle you’ve seen on a human. Something about his physique makes you want to climb him like a tree, but that’s an inside thought.
His gravelly voice brings you back to the present. “Yeah, I’m here. Do you know where I could get a drink?”
“Sure. Why don’t you come to the kitchen with me and I’ll grab you one?” You grab his (huge, veiny, rough, masculine) hand and drag him through the crowd.
Once you’re in the kitchen, Sukuna takes a seat on a stool at the counter. “What can I get for you, sir?”
He smiles and you almost collapse. But you persevere. “I’ll just get a beer, thanks.”
“Alright, then I guess I’ll have one too.” You pull two random longnecks from Satoru’s fridge . You try to look cool and open them using the counter, but of course, the caps go flying. You pick them up whilst trying to regain your dignity, ignoring Sukuna’s barely concealed snicker. “Something funny?” You ask, handing him his bottle.
“Nothing at all.” He grins at you again, and your knees start wobbling. But again, you persevere. You skirt around the counter and take a seat next to Sukuna, taking a long swig of your drink. You gag a little—it’s been too long since you last had beer, and you forgot how much of an acquired taste it is.
“So,” Sukuna starts. “Whose house is this again?”
“My friend Satoru. He’s, like, old money rich, so his parents got him this place when he started uni. Suguru lives with him, too. Satoru dated my friend Utahime—the one who lives in Minnesota—but they decided they were better friends. And also that they were both gay.”
“Ah. So are Satoru and Suguru…”
“Yep. I mean, I don’t think they’re official yet, but Suguru’s been into Satoru since we were kids. And they’re definitely fucking. Haven’t seen him in his own bedroom for months.”
“Oh.”
The two of you chat while you finish your beers. Sukuna actually makes great conversation. He’s funny, too. Hot and funny? He’s gotta be stupid, or something.
“Truth or dare!”
“Truth, I guess,” you sigh. Why did you agree to play this game in the first place? If you know one thing about your friends, it’s that they really hate seeing you comfortable.
Satoru’s grin makes your stomach churn. “If you had to fuck someone in this circle right now, who would it be?”
You glance around. Nanami, Satoru, Suguru, Shoko, Sukuna, and two girls whose names you don’t know. You only really have one option (not that you would have chosen anyone over him anyways). Your voice cracks slightly as you answer, “Sukuna.�� Your cheeks flare as you feel his eyes on you, but you don’t have it in you to feel shame.
Two rounds later, it’s Sukuna’s turn.
Suguru asks the highly-anticipated question. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare.” His eyes are on you as he says it. You can feel them burning into your flesh.
“I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the circle.”
Sukuna’s eyes are still glued to you as he stands up. He doesn’t avert his gaze, not as he offers you his hand and brings you to your feet. Especially not as he slides his hand behind your neck, burying itself into your hair. He only stops looking at you when he closes his eyes and lifts your mouth to his.
It feels like everything you’ve ever dreamed of. His lips are shockingly soft, and they dance against yours so perfectly. Your mouth parts and his tongue slides in, caressing you so carefully yet so powerfully. It’s not long before you’re devouring each others’ faces.
Satoru clears his throat. “I love that you guys are happy, but respectfully, please get a room.”
The two of you pull apart quickly. You return to your respective seats and continue the game, but the vibe is a little different. Y’know, after you just sucked Sukuna’s tongue in front of five other people.
Nothing interesting happens for the rest of the game, other than Sukuna giving you sex eyes the whole time. As soon as you’re all finished, he steals you away from your conversation with Satoru.
“Hey. Satoru, right?” Sukuna’s hand slips around your waist. “Nice party. Unfortunately, I’m here to steal this one away from you.“ He places a kiss on the top of your head.
Satoru snorts. “She’s all yours. Oh, and all the rooms upstairs are fair game, just don’t get cream on my furniture.”
You blush furiously as Sukuna laughs. “Thanks, man.” He guides you towards the stairs and into a hallway.
“What was that?” you ask. “During the game, I mean.”
“Oh, you mean this?” He smirks, pulling your face up to meet his again. When your lips connect, you nearly decompose, melting into his touch. He’s gentler this time, more careful. One of his hands is behind your neck, threading through your hair, while the other pulls you in by your waist. You can feel his erection grow in between your bodies, and he’s big. You can’t help but imagine how it would feel—in your mouth, in your pussy…
You're breathless when you finally break away from the kiss, for multiple reasons.
“Y-Yeah, I mean that,” you squeak out.
Sukuna pulls you into a random, empty bedroom and shuts the door behind you.
His mouth meets yours yet again as he collapses with you on the bed. His lips pepper kisses along your neck , and he makes his way down your body. “Been wanting you since I met you,” he murmurs between pecks. “So fuckin’ small n’ delicate. Thinkin’ of you getting split apart on my fuckin’ cock.”
You shiver at the thought of it. Sukuna’s fat dick pounding into you. His hands bruising your waist as he fucks up into your tiny cunt. You picture him pumping you full with his cum, overflowing your pussy with his seed. “Please,” you whine. “Fuck me, Sukuna, I need it. I’ve needed it for so long…”
He nips at your collarbone. “Mm, gonna fuck you so good, baby. But first, I gotta get you all ready for me.” His hands run down your body, cupping your breasts through your shirt with a gentle squeeze. They trail down, all the way to your thighs. He flips your skirt up and massages the skin right next to your panties. He plants kisses on the insides of your legs, finishing with a quick peck of your clit through the fabric. Even the slightest sensation eases a moan out of you.
“Don’t tease me,” you cry. “I want you, please!”
“Wait, let me just grab a condom.” You deflate slightly as Sukuna pats down his pockets.
You weren’t going to suggest this, but it looks like you might have to, considering Sukuna is still patting away.
“I’m clean. If, y’know. If you’re comfortable with that.”
His eyes light up, but then he frowns. “I haven’t gotten tested in a while. I couldn’t put you at risk.”
You hate how responsible he is. “And no condom?”
“Nope. I’m sorry. I wanted this as bad as you do.” He really does look disappointed, and so does his boner. “I’d still eat your pussy, though, if you let me.”
“Fuck, please do. I want you so bad,” you sigh, thinking about your soaking pussy.
Sukuna groans. His rough hands grasp your thighs, pushing them apart, and he rubs a knuckle along the soaked fabric of your panties. Your cunt aches with need. Sukuna’s fingers leave your core, making you whine, but he makes up for it when he hooks his index into the waistband of your panties and tugs them down. Your pussy clenches when the cool air hits it. Sukuna presses close-mouthed kisses to the soft skin of your thighs, making his way towards where you need him the most.
He parts your sopping folds with two fingers, and his tongue darts out to lick a stripe up your cunt. You cry out in pleasure.
“F-fuck… hnngh…! M-more, more!” you whimper.
Sukuna continues lapping at your hole, while his hands take a bruising hold on your hips. You can feel yourself nearing your limit as he begins sucking at your swollen clit. You’re nearly screaming as your fingers find sanctuary in his hair, pulling at it as hard as you can. You think it can’t get any better, when Sukuna decides to push two fingers into your center.
“Fuck! Fuck, I’m coming, I’m coming…”
You’re pushed off the edge as Sukuna starts thrusting with his fingers. Your pussy clenches, your body convulsing as he continues his assault on your cunt. Your vision goes white, the only thing you can feel being his tongue and his fingers.
You recover from your orgasm, panting. Sukuna’s touch leaves your pussy, and you can feel your hole leaking. Sukuna collapses next to you, sucking your cum off his fingers. “You taste so fucking good, y’know that?” He grins as you blush. “Here, I’ll show you.”
He grabs you by the waist and pulls you on top of him, then brings his lips up to yours, encasing them in a kiss. His tongue slips into your mouth, tangling itself with yours. The way his body feels pressing against yours is enough to satisfy you for a lifetime.
#smut#jjk#jjk x reader#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#jjk sukuna#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#jjk smut#ao3 fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#female reader#x reader#ao3#ao3 link#ao3 writer#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#ryoumen sukuna#rey rambling
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every time I am on the outskirts of the Danga//nronpa fandom I normally see pretty good stuff but every once in a while I see a take that’s so bad and off-mark I’m doing mental backflips to see how the hell any one got that interpretation
#that goes for all characters btw do some people even fucking pay attention to canon#I know I say shit but I can justify it bro#and I at least have the critical thinking skills to be like ‘yeah that’s a bit out of character’ when revising some things later#sorry for swearing — angry Australian moment
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Its like. SO surreal when you grow up "alongside" an artist- youre the same age, but they had a following bigger and better before you ever had social media to begin with, you two grow up, you follow their progress and they enjoy your support..
the clock strikes 19, and suddenly its like a ticking time bomb to see if they realized the responsability on their shoulders and that they need to grow up-their sudden power imbalance with younger friends, mutuals and fans. Do they know the damage they can cause? most of them dont.
Through a mix of self unawareness and selfishness, they hurt someone. they hurt a minor and now this person you watched develop before your very own eyes is the religated piece of shit of the week and shunned from the community.
Its even worse when thats your friend..
#i was kind of in such a situation but we spoke recently and i promised to stop talking about it. sort of. i guess i forgave them?#theres some leeway into forgiveness when the offense isnt extremely dire i suppose#what Synnibear did was..not good. and her refusal to self reflect and actually maintain her apology shows shes a bad person. theres no -#-forgiveness#and the guy i knew as a kid. they were just unaware frankly#i feel kind of violated by them but we made amends and moved on. i just kinda feel..gross for it still.#so thats kind of like. a reminder. to correct my posture and not be a freak weirdo around people in general#still a shame aint it#i can now name two artists who ive respected. followed and wanted to befriend turn out to be horrible people! wow#the other guy has a ally that im in personal kahoots with aswell#. ok i know his boyfriend is what im saying#and he says theres 'personal troubles' that the victim 'failed to mention'#i really. doubt anything can excuse talking to a 16 y.o weird when youre 18-19 bro#but am i being twofaced#i forgave Chris#but its not our place to forgive Kaz#does he realize he hurt someone for life#i was hurt for life#im still struggling with that weird shit that happened to me. theres effects im trying to hurdle over#that person probably had it way worse then i did right? imagine their struggle#how is Kaz any more superior or innocent enough to be 'forgiven' and 'permitted return'#even if somehow that kid turned around and forgave him. nobody will want him back#whats done is done. and if there was a way to 'justify' or 'explain' himself ... it doesnt matter#they dont forgive him#he hurt them#fuck this dude for real
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lol
#txt#tbd#that pers0na person came back to continue arguing with me on my 0 note untagged post . Bye!#i literally said i have no interest arguing about that#like if youre frustrated about that take make your own post theyre claiming shit about me i didnt even say#theyre also acting like the tent scene is the only one in the game that could be read as yosuke being homophobic#literally not even the one I'd been thinking of#and i dont even think yosuke is blatantly homophobic !!! its just 2009 anime humor that didnt age well!!!#and i told them this !!!#and they continued to say they felt justified being violent towards me. a stranger. because apparently i think gay ppl arent allowed to#protect themselves from abusers. WHAT ?#like. i choose to interpret him as a bisexual teenager struggling with internalised homophobia thats what the damn post was about#and honestly it was hardly even about that 90% of the post was me saying i tended to change characters in my head#which is why i dont post meta#i called yosuke homophobic in one throwaway tag and didnt clarify because i thought like 4 people would see it#jts like that twitter post where its like. ummm i misinterpreted your one sentence tweet can you apologize to me for it#leave me ALONE bro i dont know you#i dont block very often but like damn . why do you want to argue with a stranger so bad like reevaluate a little#my entire response to them was like. bro this post is old and you misunderstood what i was saying . and they doubled down#sorry for venting i literally just woke up to them reblogging it again and like. im so tired man
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#tag talk#why are people so bad at communicating like bro respect my fucking time please#if you tell me half an hour don't make me wait an hour and a half istg I'll fucking kill you with my bare hands#you can't disappear for an hour right after committing to hang out and then be like “oh sorry I got busy” BITCH LET ME KNOW THEN#I literally won't mind if something comes up but you have to fucking tell me you can't just disappear for an hour and then be like sorry#and then you fucking do it again. like. cool I try to be a nice person but if you can't do basic communication then I'm leaving#I would genuinely rather be alone then put up with someone I dislike. I will pick isolation over a shitty person every time#I'm not so desperate that I need you. I'm not so desperate that you can put me on hold whenever you want.#ugh ugh ugh like. basic consideration for others hello? like. if I'm sitting with my phone in my hands waiting for you to message me#that's my time your wasting. that's my evening your sitting on. I could be talking to friends. watching a movie. playing video games.#instead I'm spending it getting ghosted because your communication skills fucking suck ass and you don't give a shit about my schedule#I'm genuinely so pissed. I don't give a shit how sorry you are. don't be sorry be better. act differently if you really realize you need to#best advice I can give. don't forgive anyone. if they change. accept that they've changed.#but forgiveness gets taught as something to be given regardless of whether they've changed or not. they say sorry and you say I forgive you#bullshit- they say sorry and you say “prove it. become a better person. learn from your mistakes. don't repeat the hurt you've caused”#you don't need my forgiveness. it only justifies your actions. I won't forgive. I'll accept the change you show me your capable of.#no one deserves your forgiveness. no one deserves your love. no one is entitled to you just because they perform the emotions correctly#relationship is earned. trust is proven. time is given. if your motives and actions do not match up then you can go get fucked.#ugh I'm still burnt out from visiting family I'm so fucking tired and angry at everyone and everything I hate being emotionally unstable#fun fact I even get clumsy when I'm like this. being emotionally unstable fucks me up physically too. I have to hold things with both hands#and I lose my balance a lot more. I'm just so physically exhausted. I hate being this way I hate being this way I hate being this way#so glad I backed out of the family reunion though. that would have genuinely put me in such a bad place.#only two more days of work and I'm free though. then we're moving which is gonna be more stress but better than family stress#work was getting boring and annoying and I'm glad to be done with it. maybe one day I'll be able to hold down a job for more than six month#excuse me while I go listen to Maretu at high volumes to vent my rage
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“bro I know we’re saying hateful shit about jewish people but i promise it’s justified this time bro. Yeah i know I said the same thing about the well poisoning and the death of jesus and all the other stuff but I promise it’s actually for a righteous cause this time bro. Just one more outbreak of antisemitic violence and everything will work out bro i promise it’s for real this time bro you can trust me”
#how you all sound tbh!!!!#and then they act shocked when we don’t want to live with them#jumblr#antisemitism
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"Evan's not here," Tommy says, and Eddie scowls at him as he pushes past Tommy, already aiming for the kitchen as he hitches the six pack he'd brought with him up under his armpit. It'd been a - a thing. A 'my best friend and my new friend are too busy sucking face to spend every spare moment distracting me from my problems' thing, a thing where Eddie sort of finally understood exactly why Buck had hip checked him on the basketball court months ago. He wants his best friend back. He wants the ease of his friendship with Tommy back.
Which is - Christ, he's selfish, is the thing. A month without Chris there to keep him occupied and Eddie has had some startling realizations about himself. ("You're not selfish, Eddie, you're the most selfless person I know." from Buck and "So fix it," from Tommy, a rare night out with the both of them because he'd headed date night off at the pass by asking Tommy to go out for drinks before he and Buck could make plans without him).
"My world doesn't revolve around Buck," Eddie tells him, and screws the cap off a beer to hand it to Tommy. Tommy's doing that judgmental face he gets when he wants to say something bitchy but hasn't put the words in the right order yet. And - Eddie's not lying. Buck is a fixed point, an ever present life-line, but he's not the fucking sun.
Neither is Chris, apparently, which is news to Eddie and he's - spiralling, still. Quietly, calmly, and he's only punched one hole in the wall on a bad night.
"You ever go to Frank?" Eddie asks, like Frank is the only therapist in the greater LA area, and Tommy rolls his eyes, disappears long enough for the muted sound of the television to go quiet.
When he comes back Eddie's reading the label on his beer bottle
"Apparently I resent you," Eddie says, and Tommy chuffs a laugh.
"Apparently?"
"No, I -." The words had been just as hard two hours ago. This little trip was his own design, he'd been told specifically to sit in it for a while but Christ, an hour a week isn't enough time to talk through his issues and it's not like he can tell Buck he resents him for finding something he's happy and stable and solid in. So. Tommy it is. "You and Buck are good together. I'm happy for you both. I am."
Tommy settles against a countertop with his hip digging into the Formica. His kitchen has gained a dutch oven that looks suspiciously like the one Buck has been showing Eddie for like six months that he couldn't justify the cost of because he's not around enough to use it as much as he'd like.
"I'm not usually the one without his shit together," Eddie says.
"No offense, Eddie, but I thought the whole point of therapy was you realizing you rarely have your shit together."
Also true. He's - usually better at hiding it though. Kim was a joker stacked up on a wobbly house of cards and he'd known, somewhere in the back of his mind, that she'd bring the whole thing tumbling to the ground. Mass casualty event. No survivors.
"You make each other better people," Eddie says, which is the wrong thing to say apparently because Tommy scowls.
"If you wanna completely ignore all the work we've both put into ourselves," he snipes, and - yeah. Fair. Buck's been in therapy for years now. Every once in a while he'll pull something out of his ass that makes Eddie's skin itch - something so mystifyingly self-aware that it makes Eddie want to claw into his chest cavity and rip out his fucking heart. And Tommy - well, he doesn't know much but it's not like Tommy's the paragon of perfection. He's worked through some shit. Is still working through shit, if the aftermath of his and Buck's first real fight is any indication.
"I've never been with someone who makes me want to work on myself," Eddie admits, and the lines around Tommy's eyes shift. He sighs.
"Never gonna find that if you don't want it for yourself."
Yeah. Frank's said as much. It's just - Eddie doesn't have a starting point. Tommy had the whole hiding his true self thing, and Buck had the dead-brother-shitty-parents thing, and he's whittling them both down to the sharp edges of themselves in his mind, which isn't entirely fair but it's easier than trying to confront what the fuck his own problem is. Dead wife, his kid in another state, a contentious relationship with his father, a whole backlog of PTSD he's never really confronted head on. Weird feelings cropping up about a religion he thought he'd left in the dust and sand of Afghanistan and a hole he's been trying to fill up with other people since - well, he doesn't even know since when.
Tommy's got his dog tags laying in the bottom of an empty fruit bowl on his kitchen table. Eddie's never seen them before, and some part of him knows Tommy'd brought them out for a conversation with Buck he'll never hear himself, and he aches. He doesn't want them, but he wants what they have, wants to be able to talk about the difficult shit without closing in on himself, wants to have someone to come home to, wants -
"I spent six months imagining my therapist's head exploding every time she made me talk about something uncomfortable," Tommy tells him, and takes a long drag off his beer. For the first time since he'd knocked on Tommy's door, Eddie actually feels a little bad about interrupting his night, but that just leaves him spiralling some more because Eddie usually feels bad about everything, all the time, so why hadn't he felt guilty about this until now? And why does he feel guilty about not feeling guilty?
"I just want him to fix me," Eddie says, and Tommy laughs. Laughs hard and long enough that Eddie's feeling offended. Off kilter and pissed off and -
"You're not a single loose wire, Eddie. Can't just replace a cable and have a clean slate. You gotta change your oil and replace the spark plugs and top up the coolant, over and over again until you die."
It's the sort of metaphor Eddie'd like to lob across the field of engagement just to watch it get shot to pieces. It's apt, though.
"Feels like the whole engines gotta go," Eddie tells him "Transmission's shot and my catalytic converter keeps getting stolen and the mufflers been welded back on so many times that it's half-solder."
"Christ," Tommy says, which. Yeah. Exactly. "Well you can't exactly send yourself to the junk yard for scrap and buy a newer model."
"Buck does," Eddie snaps, and Tommy rolls his eyes. He'd been there the last time Buck brought up his 1.0 days.
"Half the time a system update patches ten bugs and creates twenty more."
"So Buck's buggy, is what you're saying."
He rolls his tongue over his teeth. "You are running off faulty software and you've been refusing to update to the new version because you heard it'd burn the battery faster, is what I'm saying."
Eddie doesn't have a whole lot of charge to begin with. And the metaphors are starting to muddle in his brain, too many different ideas battling around when he's already spent an ornery hour talking to Frank and another trying to convince himself he doesn't resent his best friend for accepting his own fucking flaws and working on them.
Tommy sets the beer bottle down. Eyes Eddie for a moment, and Eddie wonders how often he levels that look on Buck, how Buck feels when Tommy flays him open and digs through his insides. "You wanna go hit something for a bit?" he asks, and Eddie nods so quickly he nearly smacks his nose into the brim of the bottle in his own hand. He's about done feeling his feelings, for the moment. He'll probably end up being annoyed that Tommy makes him wrap his hands before he takes some aggression out on the bag hung up in the corner of Tommy's garage, but maybe when Tommy gets annoyed with him and does that takedown maneuver that knocks the wind out of Eddie's lungs when they're sparring he'll let that go.
Tommy flicks his forehead on the way to grab him something to wear. "That's for calling my boyfriend buggy, jackass," he says, and laughs himself all the way down the hall when Eddie splutters after him.
His bedroom door snicks shut by the time Eddie's recovered enough to remind him that he'd been Eddie's friend first.
#eddie&tommy#just a little something to tide us over until we get eddie riding the struggle bus on screen#bucktommy
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okay, okay, okay, bear with me
mobei jun already knows about shang qinghua as airplane
oki ive decided to take advantage of the fact that WE NEVER GET A MOBEI JUN POV AND I'LL BE FORVER SALTY ABOUT THAT SHIT
but like, shen yuan figured airplane out REAL fast, right? they barely spent time together before the immortal alliance and then it takes one surprise before airplane is saying stupid shit, right?
and i cant help but think, mobei jun aint dumb and he's been spending How Many Years crashing at shang qinghua's leisure house whenever the fuck he feels like it?
he also finds shang qinghua to be Hella Sus because come on, ofc he does. a human just declares their undying loyalty to you after one fucking meeting??? even if he believes shang qinghua is being sincere in the moment, the fact that he was so quick to betray his sect doesnt speak of a loyal servant
so why wouldnt he snoop? why wouldnt he pay extra close attention when shang qinghua says shit that doesnt make sense? why wouldnt he notice when shang qinghua speaks or writes in a language that he doesnt recognize? airplane canonically isnt fluent in english so if he used a bit of it, especially chinglish, wouldnt mobei jun be able to learn some of the meanings of the words just by context clues? especially when he has YEARS to decode it? like if airplane was fluent, maybe he could hide the meaning, but a limited vocabulary adapted to another language isnt actually super hard to decode. it's the same reason that you can generally understand what slang means before you look up the definition. you might not know what 'rizz' means, but you can pick up the meaning from context clues.
anyway im over explaining the linguistic aspects ALL IM SAYING IS what if airplane kinda depends heavily on chinglish to be his Secret Language that Theres No Way That Anyone Here Can Get. and sure, for most people, it does seem like gibberish. but again, mobei jun has YEARS at his side and reasons to nitpick at it and decode it.
like what if airplane had a habit of writing out pidw plot points in chinglish bc look he is Going to forget shit no matter what, he wrote that novel a lifetime ago, but theres some info thats pretty important for him to Not Forget. so mobei jun is just left with a huge stash of Impossible Information that shang qinghua writes about
everything ranging from future events to obscure demon world facts that theres just no justifiable reason for shang qinghua to know about and just everything in between.
but also what if shang qinghua wrote his feelings? his thoughts? his issues? like cmon, he literally has NO ONE to consult with about the insanity of his life before cucumber-bro, and his life is really crazy, and he used to be the person who wrote out his feelings via novel but look dude he's not about to tempt fate by writing out another novel rn so a diary makes sense. or at least like, random venting
and again, this isnt even mentioning airplane having some potential verbal fuckups that mobei jun can add to his ever growing file of "shang qinghua has something fucking going on"
and like, maybe mobei jun hasnt actually figured out the exact truth but he has some eerily close guesses. or maybe airplane wrote a lengthy journal explaining literally his entire fucked up life and mobei jun knows Everything.
look im just a little bit obsessed with mobei jun casually being aware for YEARS that shang qinghua is from another world and might have once had god-like powers over this world. i think this is very funny and i think it could work in a canon compliant way. cuz i also like to think that some of mobei jun's aggro at shang qinghua was a mixture of
you literally wont tell me who you really are. you claim to be my loyal subject but you wont even tell me your real name and Yes I'm Upset About That
you fucking fucker, you literally PLANNED that horrible event to happen???? you suck so bad omfg. THAT WAS TRAUMATIZING FOR ME YOU JERK NO I DONT CARE IF YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT NOW
your handwriting sucks and im mad that i didnt just have to decode your weird other language, i also had to decode your fucking horrendous handwriting and i dont know if i can ever forgive you for that
you barely ever show your real personality in front of me and i have to learn how you really feel by reading this fucking notes and YES IM UPSET ABOUT THAT
i also just love the idea of Something Happening to do with the multiverse and basically mobei jun is the only one who isnt remotely surprised lmfao. binghe is in crisis mode, cucumber thinks he's gonna die, airplane is freaked out, and mobei jun is just like "yeah, figured some dumb shit like this might happen. you didnt know binghe? dont you pay any attention to your husband :/ dude, they're not even good at hiding it, i thought you were supposed to be smart"
also the simultaneous heartattacks that cucumber and airplane would have that mobei jun just KNOWS like thats hilarious. imagine they need to talk about something secretly in public and its super urgent and mobei jun just starts using chinglish or webspeak or something perfectly and cumplane are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
mobei jun: that mofo is hella sus, but keep it on the dl. ttyl i need to do a vibe check
cumplane: ?!?!?!?!?!?
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Why ya'll hate on Cait and call her a dictator?
Well-written characters often have a story deeper than what you explicitly see them do or hear them say. Just because everything is set in a fantasy world, doesn't mean that characters are not affected by tragic events and the human condition.
First of all, Cait wasn't the one who made a police state. Ambessa and the council did that. Ambessa orchestrated the whole thing. Cait went along with it because she was turned around by grief. That shit messes with your judgment, but she was still trying to do what she and Vi agreed on. To focus on the real problem and prevent hurting innocent people.
Cait tried to control an unraveling situation AND literal warlord WHILE being inexperienced in how to deal with it, having a big ol' lesbian break up, AND dying inside.
You could see that when Cait argued to Ambessa that there are innocent people and there MUST be justifiable cause to arrest anyone. In Cait and Ambessa's interactions it's implied that Cait was getting in the way of Ambessa's agenda off-screen. She tried to keep something worse from happening because she does acknowledge the historical and current oppression of Zaunites.
This mirrors the way she offered Vi the badge to give her a voice in what happens to her sister if the enforcers caught her. The enforcers coming after Jinx was going to happen regardless of Cait. She took control by volunteering and taking precautions. See- While they did use gas, Vi would never agree to something that would permanently hurt the people of Zaun. The tactic gave them fewer chances of having to physically fight Zaunites who were just trying to defend themselves. Believe it or not, it was a controlled operation until grief got the better of Cait and things looked worse than it actually was.
The way that Cait deeply believes in equality in spite of a personal vendetta is why Ambessa sent Maddie to try and control her by 'filling' her hole (no pun intended). When Maddie attempted to have Cait stop the police state situation and withdraw, she did focus on Jinx at first but the second part of not wanting to make things worse was something she had a lot more to say about before Maddie interrupted. And Cait was right. What would have happened if she hadn't taken the role and played along? A puppet councillor or Ambessa herself would have been the figure head and do so much worse. Those people don't have the same perspective and understanding as Cait.
When Cait and Vi argue about listening to a war pig oink poison in her ear, she yells "I know!" as she throws a piece of war ship used in strategizing. You can tell her role was a strategic choice to have some control over the events that unfolded. That's why Vi didn't villinize her. Vi understood that Cait never really accepted anything Ambessa said. That's why she helped Vi at the commune. Cait was a double agent taking shit from all sides to stop worse things from happening.
She had grief and really crap options, but she always chose the lesser of the evils to try and stay true to who she really was. She even resigns in her argument with Vi, that she didn't put Jinx, her own mother's killer, in jail or punish her in any way. It's another example of her faltering in decision-making when overwhelming or unexpected things happen and it also tells us what she is. She's human. She doesn't make excuses for taking on an objectively bad role and making mistakes. When she said "We can't erase our mistakes.", she's also talking about herself. She takes responsibility and tries to do good. In the end, all she wanted was closure for her grief by having Jinx accept responsibility NOT by killing or abusing her or innocent Zaunites for that matter.
Imo there's a lot in Arcane that shows Cait as a flawed but inherently good person, and Vi absolutely knows it. They see each other warts and all. If you think CaitVi's lex scene was poorly written read this: https://www.tumblr.com/turbolezgooo/768190482340773888/bro-this-outrage-about-caitvi-relationship-in-s2?source=share
#caitvi#arcane#lesbian#lgbtq#sapphic#sapphism#yuri#character exploration#if you want to love a story pay attention be invested#dont get me started on the sesbian lex argument
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drabble on pharma x human reader
warnings: its pharma, everything is fucked
just me listing ideas and character traits so i can write...
Actions/Behaviors:
-would keep you on him at all times as if you were a pocket hamster
-600% will drug you
-preserving head and organs after you die
-mnemosurgery to pry into your brain and know everything (perhaps attempt a digital link with him so he's connected 24/7 like a sparkbond)
-physically consuming organs mainly heart/brain
-wants to cut you open while conscious to see your organs (will sew you back up after ofc) (will be sedated for no pain, but will be awake)
-propofol abuse? (maybe fuck you on and off it just to see how you react)
-will attempt to physically massage your heart in an attempt to maintain your heart rate. (and to have control over your life literally)
-would scarification his red cross on your chest (? horny tramp stamp? wow just thinking hurts)
-would withhold medication until you submit and beg (if you're too stubborn, he will slip just enough in without you knowing to keep you going)
oocs??:
-would poison you just to watch you suffer and then antidote you? (idk to make it where reader knows, or reader thinks it was a 3rd party. maybe pharma has gaslighted reader into thinking its external but always have an inkling?)
-would attempt to infuse you with energon/nucleon (if nucleon stops bots from transforming, what would it do to humans?)
-would try to forcibly physically put you in his spark
-would he remove limbs so you're stuck?? (i dont think so... but i do believe he will try to modify you)
-i want to see him use his chainsaw to engrave lines over reader? forming more blocky lines to resemble Cybertronians?
-probably drinks your blood, or at least taste it (maybe keep it in a vial in subspace at all time)
-permanent drug state?
-super ooc, i want to see him repaint/make reader repaint his autobot insignia with their blood
light analysis:
-pet names: dear, darling, occasionally love?? (not sweetspark??)
-ends sentences with "hmm?" / snarky
hmm? ah. tch tch, ah, ah! don't touch that! tongue clicking, lots of italics. (writing in his mind is hard...)
snarky, haughty, controlling, obsessive (to reader), does not want to see you in pain, but will actively cause you to be in it, naturally manipulative, more smirks than grins.
i want to say gaslighting, but will ease on it when he warms up to reader...?
internal personality conflict:
i see him as finding a human annoying, and originally toying, very traumatic shit, then warming up. (insert charm) not accepting that he has feelings, he pushes them into obsession. and acts them out in questionable physical actions.
thoughts:
quotes are ooc, just what i think he would justify his actions;
"no its not love, i just need them with me at all time."
"my spark isnt flaring harder because of love, its because they belong in there"
"they may not live long, but i can preserve them" (leads to infusing energon?)
soft pharma (say no tarn tcog or any incidents, or you pull him out of issues) (shit how did first aid get an evalv from rung but pharma didnt?? bro was sane then!!)
-would be tender, lots of physical affection (still)
-would organ harvest for you
-would tease you and be annoying (instead of internalizing it and coming out obsessive.)
#im getting sick thinking in his brain#deadass gonna pop a percocet#transformers#transformers x reader#rambles#transformers x human#pharma x reader#pharma x human#fuck im so in pain#i want to drabble more but mimir...
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Can you please just tell us what is wrong with ai and why, I can't find anything from actual industry artists ect online through Google just tech bro type articles. All the tech articles are saying it's a good thing, and every pro I follow refuses to explain how or why it's bad. How am I supposed to know something if nobody will teach me and I can't find it myself
I'll start by saying that the reason pro artists are refusing to answer questions about this is because they are tired. Like, I dont know if anyone actually understands just how exhausting it is to have to justify over and over again why the tech companies that are stealing your work and actively seeking to destroy your craft are 'bad, actually'.
I originally wrote a very longform reply to this ask, but in classic tumblr style the whole thing got eaten, so. I do not have the spoons to rewrite all that shit. Here are some of the sources I linked, I particularly recommend stable diffusion litigation for a thorough breakdown of exactly how generative tools work and why that is theft.
youtube
or this video if you are feeling lazy and only want the art-side opening statements:
Everytime you feed someone's work- their art, their writing, their likeness- into Midjourney or Dall-E or Chat GPT you are feeding this monster.
Go forth and educate yourself.
#ai art#asks answered#qwillechatter#for real though guys please dont interact with me about AI#I intended for this to be the last post I'll ever make about it#but tumblr ate it so you miss out on the nice essay#all the sources tell you everything you need to know#Im so fucking tired
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Something i really enjoy in your Zaun Family Au is the concept of physical touch. Let me explain.
I dont know if you did it on propous or not but it sounds like in Zaun touching, hugging, holding or just any other of physical touch is far more common and acceptable. Meanwhile in Piltover you have to be more protocolar. It reminds me of the historical romance novels i have read where you cannot just hug or touch your friend because its "impolite"
The idea:
Since Jayce is from a lower house he is more used to hug and touch people to show them his care. But since he started his studies he just cannot do it anymore. He feels like shit but is ashamed of saying it outloud.
Enter Viktor.
They touch, they hug, they are physical affectionate in a platonic way.
As he goes more and more to Zaun and befriends his family he feels better. He missed this.
A punch in the arm from Vi, Jinx climbing over him to show him something or maybe sitying in his lap while they check some equations, Vander patting his back. He loves this small moments.
The only time Silco patted his arm to congratulate him he almost cry.
This feels like family.
Bonus: Caitlyn is taken aback because she never experimented this level of physical contact before. Yes, she has Jayce but he is like a sibling. She just sagging in Vi's embrace, trembling and feeling so warm.
Zaun having a more touch-friendly culture is an accepted headcanon for me so while I'm not consciously thinking about including details reflecting it when writing the fact it it is just a part of worldbuilding means that it will be reflected in how I write characters.
But yeah I very much believe Zaun has a culture where casual touch is much more accepted than Piltover which has a lot more strict social rules generally.
The fun thing with Jayce and Viktor is that Viktor lived in Piltover for long enough that he's learned their social rules and so is pretty touch-adverse at least when he is in Piltover. Especially because he's Heimerdinger's assistant so is interacting a lot with the very Upper Class of Piltover. And yeah Jayce also learned the rules after starting at the Academy (and gaining the Kirramans as his sponsor) but he clearly struggles more with it (possiblly because he didn't expect to have to change his behaviour compared to Viktor who knew that he would have to adapt to fit in with Piltover).
Basically though Jayce starts the physical affection with Viktor. Cautiously and probably more in the socially-justifiable 'patting a bro on the arm' kind of way that he can easily pass off as a nothing-thing if Viktor reacts like he's uncomfortable like so many other people Jayce has interacted with since joining the Academy did. Except Viktor doesn't react negatively and starts touching Jayce in return, also similarly in the small gestures that can be easily excused if it gets a bad reaction. And then slowly slowly they get more and more bold in their touch, testing out to see if there's a line where the other will push away that never comes. Until they are just very physically affectiate with each other casually.
Viktor's siblings haven't had that much exposure to Piltover when Jayce is introduced to them (only starting to be brought up there by their parents after the explosion and start of the Hextech partnership) so there isn't even that testing period with them. There's also a lot less 'secret rules' when it comes to ineracting with them (or at least different ones to in Piltover) - they are very straight about what they think of Jayce both the good and the bad as well as being very comfortable with physical touch. And it's a breathe of fresh air to Jayce who is more and more dealing with people in Piltover who stand a meter away from him and pretend they like him even when they don't. Honestly how happily he responds to them even when they are being kind of mean to him is part of what endears him to Viktor's younger siblings so quickly. He's not stiff and stuckup like the other Piltites, will let Powder literally hang herself off him, and is a good sport about their teasing. There's still definitively moments where Vander nearly knocks him over because he did not expect how hard that man can hit even when he's just patting Jayce on the back but that's fine, he'd much rather that then them treating him like they'll catch something if they touch him. There's a reason he kind of seeks them out when there's big social events where the Zaun Representative brings his family with him - it's a momentary break from the Piltover Social Rules.
Caitlyn does not know what to do with Vi's family far more so than Jayce. She grew up entirely in the culture where touch is reserved for very limited situations. Even though she's so very touch-starved she doesn't know what to do when they do just sling an arm around her or bump into her in a silent request for her to move over so probably just goes very still at it. With Vi's it's a bit different because she and Vi are dating (or at least romantically interested in each other) and so yeah physical affection with her is easier even if she is amazed at how warm Vi's hugs are. It takes a bit for her to get used to the others though.
#Arcane#Zaun Fmaily#Jayvik#Jayce Talis#Viktor Arcane#caitlyn kiramman#Violet Arcane#Ramblings of the Goddess#Q and A with the Goddess#Anon Question
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Episode 8 review (long af)
I want to start this by saying that I will include some talk-points I saw in other posts and that I don't hate the people who made them just the opinions and that we shouldn't fight each other but try to reach the company for improvements. Let's go! This includes spoilers btw.
The episode itself was pretty bad just because the premise was... I guess childish. From the moment I finished Ep 7 and saw the preview for Ep 8 I thought about a moment from HSL, specifically Ep 12 where Candy (Lynn) spies on Lysander to see his back tattoo. When I played that episode I was a teen and I thought it was exciting. Our Candy was also a teen so we can say that what she did was more justifiable since teenagers do crazy stuff all the time. Plus, Lynn's intention was pretty innocent, she just was curious about this boy's tattoo that happened to be on his back. Here is completely different. I am not a teen anymore, and neither are Ysaline or her co-workers. They're probably in their late 20s (at least some). I find this scenario a bit too much for a bunch of adults. I don't care that they're friends, friends should respect each other's boundaries. A good friend wouldn't pull this kind of shit. They all acted as if they were going so see a magic trick or a concert or a famous person, not their friend naked. Why would you want to see that? Just because he "implied" that he's fine with it? What did they expect would happen? Did they though he would laugh out and be like "Haha, you got me" fully naked? This feels like what a bunch of bullies would plan to do with someone. The rest of the episode was ok-ish but having all around this weird stuff it makes me hard to like anything about it. I must admit that there were moments when we would talk about other stuff and it was truly ok and nice, but this is like finding the needle in the haystack.
This goes back to what BV originally planned for this season, to be set in high school. I bet this was a concept for an episode when that was still going. Would be more ok if these people were teens? Maybe... or maybe not. Do you know why? Because most of us are adults and that's why BV made a game with mostly adults having adult life with jobs and stuff and let's not forget... NSFW. And as an adult, I know better than spying on a naked man is creepy and illegal.
Now let's talk about the characters.
Let's start with Roy. He was very nice in the whole episode. He tried to play along but it really looked like he was uncomfortable at some point. And I bet if he could, he would tell others more firmly to stop but he's just such a sweet guy and probably endures for the sake of his friends. He's always sweet and even when he pulled the prank on everyone he even had the idea for all to play with water guns. He acted so nice. We love you, Roy! <3
Speaking of his BFF Devon who just disappointed me. I really thought he would be the first to speak up against this, not the one who started it. I get you're like bros and stuff but AGAIN, do you want to see your bro naked? And if yes, why? Do you have something to confess? What's so funny about embarrassing someone? I didn't get a good look at this route so I can't tell how he is with Candy, but this is not ok. Please, make this better BV.
Thomas. He was an absolute menace. Going from childish remarks to planning all of this to acting like he's in a spy movie (I didn't mind that part but CONTEXT). As I get to know him more and more I realize that he's more of a villain. Knows stuff about people and uses that against them. I get that he's like Mr Robot, but at least in his case, he did what he did because he thought he was doing something good. Thomas just likes to fuck with people. I get it, his moment was pretty cute and moments with him and Candy are cute generally, but let's not sweep this thing under the rug. He likes to lie, remember? I really hope this was a one-time thing. Pls BV. Like he has based moments and this runs it.
Amanda did really grow on me in this episode. Like if before I couldn't stand her now I'm on her side. Whatever you need girl, I'm here for you. She was the first one to step in and say no which was nice. She also said some other nice stuff to us proving she's a girl's girl. I hope this is not a one-time thing because if she goes back to her bad attitude the next episode I'll just hate her again. Sorry!
Jason was very himself this episode. Nothing to note. I liked his moment but I hate how Candy went overboard and basically imagined them making out. What? Is this how you develop feelings for a person? By fantasizing about kissing them? That came out of nowhere. I mean yeah, she could talk about how he makes her feel and stuff but straight up imagining a fanfic on the spot? And I hate the direction his route goes. Candy always being in distress and vulnerable, and this gentleman shows up to save her. Cool, but when do we have a mature moment... and not that kind of mature. I guess we have to wait and I hope it's worth it. I want to know about him more. What's with his dad and mom, his family in general, his past, you know. So let's stop doing weird shit and start exploring these characters BV.
Girl 1 and 2 were very not nice. They just went along with the plan, especially Elenda, who... let's just say I don't like how she's presented most of the time. I get she's s fun bubbly girl, but idk... it's just the situation that makes it worse not her as a person. Brune... You're asking what's wrong with Roy? What's wrong with you?
The illustrations were fire. I must admit, I love them. I see a lot of improvements. The lighting and colors blend very well. Props to the artist/(s?). My favorite is, you guessed, Thomas'. Yeah, he always has nice illustrations. Although, I don't get the whole going naked with him on the beach. Like, we barely know the guy. Same for the others, except Amanda, because she's a girl.
Now, let's talk about the community response. I feel like, at first, everyone was pretty upset, and rightfully and some were just "We're not that upset because it's just a game guys, shut up. You're just hating". Well, of course, some are going to exaggerate but most of us have valid reasons to be upset. Saying that this is just a game and we should leave if we don't like it it's just straight up BS arguments. I've seen this argument everywhere and I am sick and tired of that. I won't leave no matter what because not only do I love this game, but I also love the community and everything that makes it. It's not just a game, it's something I invested time and money and I won't let that go to waste. Also, I can use the same arguments against those people. Most of us here want to just enjoy this game and chat about it. Stuff like this will appear all the time. Let's just say what we have to see and hope the game gets better. And you're lucky I don't remember every single one of these people's arguments because I would said more. Also, WE KNOW that MCL is not representative of reality or that is has some sort of educational purpose. We're not asking for realism, we're asking for a decent plot. It's that so hard to do?
Lastly, BV made a pr response on the forum where they said that they saw the backlash and that they can't do anything about the episode or the other episodes but that will improve in the future. I.. I want to believe them. Truly. So, please, for the love of God, don't pull this sort of stuff again. Ok? Please.
That being said, Thank you for reading this. It was quite long, but I like writing long ass texts. Sorry!
#my candy love#amour sucre#amor doce#corazón de melón#mcl#mcl new gen#mcl ng ep 8#mcl ng spoilers#amour sucre new gen#cdm
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the amount of people who are like "omg i ditched kaidan for garrus after he was mean to me on horizon!!" baffle me. shit on bioware's writing for making shep work with cerberus all you want, but kaidan calling shep out on this and not joining them is NOT the issue. in fact, him reacting like this is why i love him??
he specifically states he trusts shep, just not cerberus. which is the only rational response in that whole entire goddamn game!! like?? you spend all of me1 stopping cerberus operations. they kill several alliance soldiers and admiral kahoku, try to make a rachni army -- they are WELL known for cloning and ais... miranda even outright states she wanted to plant shep with a control chip. there is literally zero reason for kaidan to believe the shep in front of him isn't some cerberus sleeper agent. or an ai. or indoctrinated. or being manipulated (THIS ONE IS CANON BTW). even if he trusts shepard, he doesn't trust cerberus not to pull any of this. quite frankly, i'm baffled more companions don't have this exact, entirely justified concern.
loyalty is important, but blind loyalty is dangerous.
honestly, the crew in me2 is lucky that the illusive man was so weirdly and uncharacteristically insistent on shepard remaining untouched. things could have gotten very bad otherwise.
being best friends with someone, or more notably, being in love with someone, isn't the end all be all magic potion in this world. being in love with someone doesn't mean you should blindly trust their actions. if my significant other joined a terrorist group, you can bet my ass i wouldn't join them! sorry! if anything, it's healthy that kaidan has his own sense of morals and priorities he follows over shepard. he's his OWN person, love shouldn't be something that makes you suddenly give up who you are and what you believe in.
not to mention kaidan is entirely out of the loop for the whole game. his intel states that cerberus is behind the abductions (the horizon incident is partially a result of cerberus' fiddling btw), and that shep has been alive and never even reached out to anyone. he doesn't have the information we the players have. he doesn't know that the illusive man insisted on no control chip. he doesn't know about the lazarus project or its specifics.
and as for the "cheating" discourse if you romance someone new in me2, i do personally believe shep getting with one of the me2 love interests is cheating on their me1 love interest. to shep, they skipped those two years. they wake up as they did during the me2 prologue. no time has passed. and then they immediately get with someone else after one (1) argument with their love interest over them, may i remind you, joining a terrorist group. even if you don't think it's "technically" cheating, it's at the very least pretty trashy and flakey.
if anything, i'm gonna say it! kaidan is more forgiving than i'd be! the fact that he even sends an email saying he still cares and that they can see what happens after this is all resolved is WAY more than i would have done. the fact that kaidan will find out shep got with someone else, and STILL be willing to give shep a chance is like. man. it's saying a lot. i am just saying.
imagine losing someone. you see them literally die as your ship explodes and they burn up in the nearby planet's atmosphere. you grieve. you put yourself into your work. then suddenly, two years, later. they pop back up again. ALIVE. and with a terrorist group. and basically tell you the equivalent of "just trust me bro" despite the fact that while you trust them, you don't trust the terrorist group. so you're like hey, what the fuck. why are you with a terrorist group. and they're like i'm not with them, we just have common goals. and you're like. i'm gonna say it again. i trust you, not the terrorist group. okay?? i can't join you for this reason. please be careful out there, seriously.
and then they immediately jump into the pants of that one guy you knew back on a mission from two years ago.
what would you do?? would you not feel hurt? betrayed? upset? confused?? i'm sorry, i'm completely on kaidan's side. i'd go as far to say that he's far more understanding than he should be in me2.
me3 is all about regaining that complete and undying trust back, and that cerberus didn't fuck around w shep. or that being with cerberus didn't change them. his "loyalty" quest is just visiting him in the hospital and showing him shepard still cares. that they're still the same. that cerberus truly didn't alter them. that there was more going on. that shepard was forced to work with cerberus out of complete necessity and only did what they thought was right. and i think that's neat!!!!
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Tell us how you feel about arcane. Use your emotion words! Use a visual aid if you must, too lol.
you want some visual aid? i'll give you some visual aid:
that describes perfectly ab how i am feeling rn
first of all the LESBIAN SEX SCENE????!! I-??!! i knew that something was bound to happen (esp after meljay and the rated for sex warning in season 2) and i celebrated when they (finally) kissed but oh my god?? an actual lesbian sex scene? in a prison?? in vi's sister's prison?? after a parallel about how cait is always finding her in a prison and expected her to be there?? (with dramatic music and banter and soft giggling and the ANGLES and HAND PLACEMENTS??) I AM NOT OKAY
just that scene alone is enough to nudge me off a cliff. but moving on
how is JAYVIK more homoerotic than now-100%-canon caitvi?? that's all i have to say. (what do you MEAN that love conquers all?? that he loved and admired viktor for all his imperfections and that was what made him special and beautiful?? GET OUTTA HERE)
i did not know that i needed timebomb until this season but HOLY FUCKING SHIT why must you make ekko fall (surprisingly, even to himself) in love with jinx/older powder and have that ripped away from him not like two days later?? WHYYYYY (the dance. the "can we pretend it's like the first time?" the "oh and he's got lines." the nervous wave after he fucked up in that scene with dead vi and powder was like hmp and he goes :(. the mural. im sent. im gone. nobody speak to me.)
ISHA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (she was just trying to be like jinx and copy everything that she does and is and looked up to her as a hero STOP WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME. also the song?? IM CHINESE BRO AND I WAS SOOOO EMOTIONAL OVER THE LYRICS like hit me where it fucking hurts why dont you)
i cried at how vander suffered a fate worse than death. @becasbelt can attest to that
caitlyn adfshjk i knew she would come around and she was and always has been my blorbo (even if she stayed evil) MWAH my female rage filled, slightly wild, grief clouded, confident, "im an excellent shot," sexy, " i am a decorated officer, leader of house kiramman, address me with respect, or keep your mouth shut." dictator, vampire, badass, mofo. YES
the way she said "no amount of good deeds can undo our crimes" hit me bc she's acknowledging that she went off the rails and did some pretty bad things to justify and achieve (which she didn't. not really) her goals
i LOVED jinx in this season. she single-handedly made it a comedy show and was the sole focus of a lot of the emotional damage the storytellers and animators wanted to convey
the way jesus came to be and then quickly became evil SDFHSDKJ i was legit like WEEO WEEO ABORT ABORT JESUS HAS TURNED EVIL (also want to point out the "no you wont" sky dialogue bc DAMN she really called you out huh viktor)
that alternate universe timebomb episode had me gasping so much (like SILCO?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?? WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?? what do you mean everyone is well and happy but at the cost of vi's death???) i think i had asthma for a split second there
MELLLL MY GODDESS MVP PLAYER you saved cait's ass so many times it's not even funny and ugh the way you finally stood up to your mom (very cleverly too, i might add) ugh i applaud
EKKO MY KINGGG the way he hurts himself so bad turning back time and specifically saving jinx from offing herself BYE
HEIMERDINGER MY TINY ANNOYING/affectionate FURBALL WHYY
no but yea i am ruined and my emotions have faded away into numbness and i hope this post was relatable to the people in the arcane fandom and i also agree that this season was way too condensed and rushed and the last episodes in particular needed at least a couple more to drag out the events and character development bc at times when i am supposed to be cheering i am crying and at times i am supposed to be crying i am screaming and at times i am supposed to be screaming i am Horny and at times i am supposed to be Horny my heart is wrenching but only a few tears slip out bc IT IS CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AGAIN??? does that make sense??
(also do we think jinx is actually dead or no. im still not sure but obv i would hope/am hoping that she is lmao)
#ALSO THE WAY JINX WAS SHIPPING CAITVI THE ENTIRE TIMEEE scream#wenz can talk#anon ask#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#caitvi#jayvik#timebomb#piltover's finest#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#mel medarda#viktor arcane#jayce talis#isha arcane
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i’ve circled around the idea of writing leo’s birthday (the one where donnie’s.. You Know) but i haven’t sat down and done it (yet). BUT it’s given me a terrible cc!mikey hc that i’m not sure is in character but i’m inflicting it on you anyway <3
so mikey has a corkboard of photos on his wall, mostly him with his brothers/april/splinter. when he gets cursed it starts to look off in a way he can’t place, like, uncomfortably off. eventually he realizes the problem and starts cutting donnie out of photos. :)
he’s embarrassed by how much it helps because it’s kind of a childish/cartoonishly rude thing to do but he reasons that it’s *his* room and his decorations shouldn’t make him feel bad when he sees them. also, it’s, like, artistic expression. so he’s entirely justified actually! anyway donnie can be cut pretty easily out of most of the group photos (smiles calmly) but the ones that can’t be saved get shoved into a drawer somewhere
and then he covers the new empty space with people he actually cares about and when the curse breaks he forgets about it for weeks because he has way worse things to feel guilty about until one day he looks at it too closely and is like. Hey. What The Fuck.
NO ACTUALLY THIS FITS INTO THE UNIVERSE REALLY WELL,,, like mikey's attention towards donnie really only extends to when it finds it fun to hurt him, when there's a practical joke to play (and honestly its probably a huge reason he was SO vicious in that one scene where he actually hit him. it was a very final and firm fuck off i dont want you around me, and donnie got the message and didnt go back to the kitchen even ONCE afterwards) but when it comes to his behavior in private i think coming up with an excuse like that to justify his own behavior would make complete sense
like. mikey pathologizing and saying something like that to himself because he's still resistant to the idea of being TOO mean and unnecessarily cruel, especially at first, and then in retrospect realize it was his way of enabling himself with this shitty "oh its just self-care he doesnt need to know ^-^" excuse ,,, little things like that just worsen how terrible he gets later on, because the more excuses he makes for himself, the more normal it gets for him to be cruel upfront.
and christ like the little ways they made donnie feel excluded coming back to haunt them like that. even if donnie never SAW IT it would cause this horror in mikey because he didn't even think about it. so much of the small shit they dont really have a REASON to dwell on. so much fucking happened in those three months and its traumatic for them too, their brains are on the big stuff. like the closet, the family meeting, the physical abuse, the starving him and screaming at him, things like that. its why they dont understand the weight of the gaslighting until it comes back to bite them; they understood it worked, but there was a small childish part of them that just kind of assumed donnie would already KNOW they were lying and he wouldnt completely lose trust in himself like that lolol
i think especially post-cw they're going to be thinking about this a lot, how much little shit they skimmed over now that all the big shit's immediately addressed. the tree remembers but the axe forgets and etc; donnie's memory is shaky, but the effects of it are visible if you know what you're looking for. they feel both the need to address and apologize for everything, even things donnie didn't know about, and the need to micromanage themselves out of fear of doing something like that again. (especially once they learn about the uhhh spreadsheet that dates back to before all of this happened, that's soon)
ALSO I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE LEO'S BIRTHDAY THING OMG THAT'S SO EVIL ..... a pov from one of the cursed bros is just an inherently interesting thing to explore i think
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