#I know I keep saying I’ll stop cause im at work but. sorry can’t stop having thoughts and it’s killing me

[edwinisms]

I really just wanted at least one on screen kiss for the boys. like that’s what im mourning above all else. say what you want about getting to see the script or whatever but never getting to see it happen on screen hurts my cold dead mlm heart beyond compare

[moonrisecoeur]

Ur the best sub Leon writer soooo… idk if you seen these but ppl treat las plagas parasite as sex pollen 😭 and I’m so here for it. Concept : re4 leon infected by the parasite OK but he starts out very agressive but ofc he’s a sub so he does whatever reader wants in order to yk… achieve the goal of the parasite (breeding 😔 who said that? Not me) And pls make the reader mean, I love mean femdoms sm, they are chefs kiss. If you need more clarification post it I’ll send another one idk but I’m just seeing what YOU come up with. LOVE UR WRITING btw I love how it’s pretty in character tbh cuz I read ur bully Leon one and I was like “yeah fr like he’s too caring to be a bully 💀”

OMG WAIT MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO ADD: you said smth so mean to him that he came too early. He was so sorry for coming early and the mess he made in you But then he continued to keep going trying to pump more- OK SORRY

the BEST?? idk about that but i shall take ur compliment and deliver to you only my best work so thank u bestie i appreciate it sm !! ^-^

las plagas is crazy cuz like the black veins, the loss of control with your physical body, the pain it causes… that’s literally so hot. leon was so fuckable all of re4 but especially in the scenes where his body is being controlled that man is SCRUMPTIOUS

also just so you know. the veins on his dick are black as well ♡

no pronouns mentioned, afab parts mentioned, plaga leon has to be a top im sorry (technically in straight relationships men are always topping unless u count pegging BUT in this context i mean he’s a top more like ‘he’s a sub but he’ll fuck u stupid’ like that’s the vibe)

you spot his blonde hair from across the hall, running over to him excitedly. thank god you found him.

“leon!” you call out, grabbing the attention of the man in question, as you catch up to him. finally finding him in this nightmarish place after getting separated was the best thing possible, “holy crap, i’m so- i’m so glad you’re okay— woah, what… what happened to you?”

he takes a cautious step back, still seemingly holding a little bit of control over his body, “they said it was a gift in my…. my blood… don’t know what the fuck that was about..”

you take a step forward, reaching out your hand to touch his face, fingers tracing the black lines that were once veins invisible to the naked eye. but he stops you, his hand roughly grabbing your wrist, “don’t.”

“don’t… what?” you ask nervously, shoulders slumped.

“you need to… stay away from me,” he groans from pain, and you’re too worried to listen to his words, “stop, get away from me, you— i could hurt you! i don’t want to hurt you…”

but you don’t listen to him, betraying his wishes by shaking off his grip and reaching your hand out again. he can’t try to stop you this time. he moans, actually moans, when your fingertips touch his face, caressing him softly.

“really? it’s that good?” you ask with a small smirk on your face. leon thinks he could die.

“f-fuck…” he mumbles, finally coming closer to you. his hands wrap around your waist as he leans in for a kiss that you’re not ready for, and you both stumble backwards while you try to ground yourself.

he’s getting rough, aggressive, and you need to push back a little or else he’ll consume you entirely. not that you’d mind.

“leon, ease up,” you whisper, pushing him back slightly, and when a growl escapes his throat, you know he’s clearly not in any state to listen, “leon.”

he annoyedly makes eye contact with you, trying his best to listen to what you’re about to say. he is trying, and that’s the worst part. this is him at his most gentle, most restrained.

“you need to listen to me, okay? can you do that?” you ask softly, hand against his chest to keep him from diving too deep into you, and pressing a kiss to his lips. it’s softer. he moans into your mouth needily, but you don’t let him get rough. instead you sweetly get the taste of him. sure, it’s not a delicious taste, but he’s a delicious experience.

you enjoy the way he’s trying so intensely to control and contain himself, for your sake. he knows what you want from him is not his full fledged desires out in the open, completely unchecked.

when you pull away, he looks wrecked already, “please, you can’t do this to me, not if you’re just going to walk away and leave me desperate.”

part of you wants to reassure him. i’m not going to leave you. i would never abandon you when you need me most. but the other part just wants to ravage him, take all of him for yourself, leave nothing of him left but the perfection you’ve created. perfection in your eyes. maybe he’s not the only one infected with some kind of tainted desire.

instead, to accomplish both, you kiss him again, letting your own intensity and desire take over, potentially overpowering his. he whimpers, his shaky hands holding your hips for stability. he’s not being grossly possessive and rough like before. he’s softer now, pliable.

when you pull away, you whisper, “we need to get somewhere safe.”

“wha… what?”

“i need to take my time with you, and we’re not safe out in the open like this…” you say, leaning in to press a kiss to that sweet spot right below his ear. it’s so cute how truly weak leon is right now. sure, that’s always been his weakness, but it’s elevated multiple times over by this parasite in his blood. you have half the mind to thank that weird cult.

when you find a safe room, you’re immediately back on him, pushing him against the wall, enjoying the way he whimpers as you kiss him, his need for you multiplying by the minute.

“please, please, i need you, i need you so fucking bad, please, i need to take you, need to make you mine, need to—”

“shut up,” you groan, fingers roughly grabbing his jaw, pushing his head back and away from you, “you’re going to be good, or you won’t get what you want. i don’t care how badly you fucking need me, you’re going to be patient. you’re going to be nice and obedient or you’ll get nothing from me. and that little parasite inside of you is horrified at the idea that you won’t get to fuck my pretty pussy, hm?”

he looks pathetic, moaning like a whore at just some words, but it’s the way you say them, the way you say them, that kills him. he eventually calms himself down enough to nod with his eyes shut tightly, “i’ll do whatever you say. you know that.”

“lay down on the floor,” you command, almost growling back at him, and he opens his eyes in surprise.

“what?”

“you heard me. on the ground, beneath me, right now, leon,” your eyes narrow at him, enjoying the way he weakly sinks to his knees before sitting down completely and laying back.

“like this..?” he asks, confused. he doesn’t know what’s about to happen, and that excites him immensely.

you take off your belt with all your utility tools and your jeans along with it. then finally, your underwear. he looks up at you with wide, delicious eyes.

he asks so sweetly, even though he knows the answer, “are you… are you gonna make me..?”

“yeah, you are. i’m going to sit down on your pretty, pretty face and you’re going to enjoy every second of being beneath me, where you belong, servicing me, and making me cum.”

his heart skips a beat at the thought of belonging beneath you, “yeah, fuck, okay—”

“—and you’re not going to fucking talk until i cum, got it?”

he nods, and once you sit down upon your throne, he gets right to work. he laps up the fluids of your cunt like a dog, working tirelessly, sucking on your clit and tongue fucking you. this is his place. he deserves nothing more than to be here with you, caving to your every desire even if all of his thoughts include breeding you and getting you pregnant with his babies. he’d do anything you asked if he could just have that.

he’d be at your service, at your mercy, until you chose to give him what he wanted.

but he makes you cum so fucking hard that it’s impossible to not give him what he wants, especially when rough hands grab onto your thighs as you’re cumming and he’s still giving you the head of your life through your orgasm. he grabs you just to stabilize you, but also to be possessive.

he can’t help how bad he’s gotten about jealousy and possessiveness with this parasite. he’s never been the jealous boyfriend, knowing you could hold your own and you’re loyal and stuff, but something about the way he looks at you now is different. it’s deep and primal. he looks at you like he needs to have you, and no one else can.

it’s insanely hot, but it’s also inconceivable how uncontrollable those urges are. leon has good self control, and you notice it in how he’s acting. again, this is him at his most restrained. he’s trying to keep himself from pouncing on you, taking everything he wants from you because he knows you don’t want that.

somewhere deep inside of him, he’s still himself, still that awkward and dorky guy that just wants to love you and give you everything you want. you wouldn’t want that.

when you roll off of him, laying down next to him to give yourself a moment to recover, you press a kiss to his shoulder, a sign that it’s an act, your harshness isn’t real. he returns the gesture by kissing the top of your head. a sign that he acknowledges your motives.

“please,” he whimpers suddenly, startling you out of your daze as his hand caresses your back softly, “i’ll let you control everything, you can do whatever you want with me, but fucking please, i’m so desperate to put my cock inside of your pussy, baby. i can’t think straight, and i’m trying so damn hard to control myself but i won’t be able to much longer…”

“yeah? you wanna put your cock inside of me? feel it throb inside the wetness and warmth of my cunt, fill me up with—”

he cuts you off with a loud moan, his hands grasping onto you and his eyes shutting tightly at the thought of such pleasure. he looks wrecked at the mere mention of cumming inside of you. you obviously have to capitalize on this fact.

“oh? so it’s the filling me up part, isn’t it? the ‘gift’ you have makes you really want to cum inside me, hm?” you say, smirking cruelly at him, watching his resolve crumble as he moans shamelessly, “do you want… breed me, leon?”

he gasps, breathing heavily. he’s incredibly wound up, and now you know the real reason he’s insatiable and uncontrollable, “f-fuck, i— it’s not that i want to, it’s that i need to… i need to fuck you and breed you so damn bad, i—”

you cover his mouth with the palm of your hand, enjoying the way he groan in pleasure when you straddle him. god, he’s not even inside of you, but he looks fucked out. he looks he’s about to burst already.

“god, you’re so fucking desperate,” you mumble to him, leaning in closer to whisper to him despite having him muzzled with your hand. not that he’d ever hurt you, he would never even imagine it, “you’re going to fuck me stupid, okay? you’re going to fuck me until my legs go numb and i can’t feel anything but you… and only when i tell you you can, you’ll breed me, fuck your cum even deeper into me and not let any of it escape. understood?”

he breathes shakily, not responding. obviously you forgot you have your hand over his mouth. when you take it off, he nervously says, “got it. i’ll… i’ll be good. i’ll make you feel so good.”

your voice is dark, cruel, full of malicious intent, “you fucking better, or i won’t let you cum. you’ll get to fuck me, sure, but i won’t ever give you the satisfying orgasm your body is desperately aching for. you won’t get to fill me up, and all you’ll have left to fuck for your little orgasm is your hand.”

his heart aches. the idea of disappointing you makes him feel a physical pit of nervousness in his stomach, the same ones he felt when he was more like himself. he just wants to feel like himself again.

“g-got it,” he whimpers. you get off of him, and he’s got you pinned immediately, gently resting you against the ground he was previously laying on. the image of you beneath him has him breathless. he feels like he’s worshipping a god with every move he makes.

he slides his cock into you, groaning at how easy it is, how wet you are. he bottoms out almost immediately, enjoying the way your body wraps around him in almost every sense. he silently adores you. he loves that you want him, crave him just like he craves you. that underneath all of your dominance, you’re his lover too.

fuck, he’s starting to feel possessive again. he beings to thrust into you, his body moving faster than either of you can handle, but you keep your cool better than he does.

“don’t let yourself start to think you’re in control,” you murmur, leaning up to press your lips to his shoulder, baring your teeth but not hard enough to draw blood. just enough to remind him of his place, “you belong to me. not the other way around, got it?” you growl into his ear.

he can’t even respond, too enraptured by your body and the feeling of your control over him leaving him a shuddering mess.

and you can’t even deny it. he’s putting in the work, thumb playing your with your clit just like how he knows you like, and clearly he’s getting the results he’s looking for. his body comes closer to the edge sooner than he’d like, but he tries to stave it off, for your sake.

still leaning into him, you whisper in your darkest voice, “maybe i should leave you like this, so you can stay this desperate… for me. i would try and cure you, but… not sure if i really care anymore.”

he shudders, voice giving out on him as he tries to plead with you. he cums without warning, obviously his body did it without the consent and go-ahead of his conscious mind. he already looks embarrassed at cumming without your permission. you don’t really have the mind to care right now, but you remember it for.. later.

“i’m gonna cum, fuck, leon, give it to me, give in to your cravings, your desires, your needs,” you moan in his ear, desperate for him, only him, and he’s yours, he’s all yours, it’s all he’s ever been and all he’ll ever be. he keep fucking you even after cumming, keeping you filled up, pushing it deeper, “make me yours.”

and he has no choice but to comply.

[ilwonuu]

hi sorry can I request if you are comfortable

the8 with his s/o finding out she has never been eaten out even if had other relationship?

hii no need to apologize at all!!! OF COURSE i love this idea so much👏👏 thank you for ur request i hope this is good<3

loving you

↬ xu minghao

♡ pairing- nonidol!hao x fem!reader, softdom!minghao x sub!reader, established relationship

♡ warnings- oral sex (f receiving) first time, dirty talk, kissing, cum eating, clit play kinda now really, pet names (sweetheart,baby, hao), lmk if i missed something.

♡ a/n- hiiiii i missed you guys i know i haven’t been gone long at all??? but im off for the next couple of days so i will be getting to as many requests as possible <333

its currently the late hours of the night. you tossing and turning trying to sleep just like your boyfriend. he looks so cute laying next to you. his hair messy from his position. you sigh again trying to get comfortable once again.

minghao finally turns over to look at you. “trouble sleeping sweetheart?” you nod with a sigh. “i can’t get comfortable.” he nods pulling you into his arms.

“could i help at all?” he asks rubbing your hair back a little. “i don’t know how you could help hao- thank you though.” he nods before getting an idea about something.

“well- i heard that orgasms can help with that.” he says with a smile as he rubs your side. “you want to have sex to help me sleep?” you question with a slight laugh.

“well i could just eat you out. but yes-” he says with a shrug. “u-uh i’ve never- uh” your words all over the place. “you never what baby?” he looks at you curiously.

“um- i’ve never been eaten out..” you look away from him out of embarrassment. he looks at you blankly for a second. “never? like- never never?” he says pulling your face to look at him.

“what do you think never means hao?” you say with a laugh rolling your eyes slightly. “i’m just shocked. i thought you’ve been eaten out plenty of times. i’m happy i will be your first though- is that okay? do you want to?” he says.

“y-yes i want to.” you say looking at him more. “okay baby just relax i’ll do everything.” he kisses your lips before moving in between your legs. pulling down your bottoms with your panties.

“you’re so beautiful.” he breath sending shivers through your body. he pulls his shirt over his head. he kisses each of your thighs while looking up at you. you were nervous but you trusted minghao. you knew he would make you feel good. you were getting wetter looking at him.

his messy hair and his bare chest. he just looks so good. he spreads your legs a little wider while watching your face. you feel wet kisses up your inner thighs. the kisses are sloppy and slow.

“hao- please don’t tease n-need you.” you grab a handful of his hair. he kisses your thighs a couple more times, not breaking eye contact.

“eager already sweetheart?” he smirks kissing awfully close to your cunt. “h-hao pleas-“ he cuts you off licking a stripe up your slit. “o-oh hao- that feels so good.” he smirks as he kisses your clit.

“yea baby? do you want me to keep going?” he smiles when he sees you quickly nod your head. “p-please.” your voice cracks a little at the desperate tone.

he just nods diving back into your cunt. his tongue works in ways you didn’t even know could go. having you slightly squirm from the pleasure.

“stay still baby. let me make you cum for me.” he sucks on your clit causing you to grip his hair tighter. “h-hao oh my gosh- please don’t stop.” you mindlessly grind into his face. his tongue flicking at the sensitive bud.

“taste so fucking good.” he mumbles a little watching your face contort in more pleasure. you feels his tongue lick at your entrance before you feel it push into you a bit. your grip on his hair is rough. the tugging making his dick harder in his sweatpants than he already is.

you see him start to grind a little into the bed. his tongue is now sloppy with the licks. his face covered in your arousal and his spit as he eats you out like he hasn’t eaten today. you can hear the wetness of his tongue against you with your slick.

“h-hao- i’m close oh-fuck.” you moan as you feel his mouth speed up against you. making a even bigger mess out of you. your legs start to shake a bit as you feel his finger against your clit.

“f-fuck just like that- feels so good!” your eyes roll back as you push his head more into your cunt. his eyes haven’t left your face as he devours you until you are shaking with the intensity of your orgasm.

“f-fuck yea- cum for me.” he watches your cum drip out of you as he continues to rub your clit. “mm hao-“ you hips stop shaking as you calm down a little.

you feel your boyfriend’s tongue against your entrance licking up your cum sloppily. “could do that forever. you are so perfect for me. you okay?” he comes up to kiss you.

“y-yea im okay. that was so good hao. i didn’t know it would feel that- good.” you close your legs a little bit.

“i’m glad you enjoyed sweetheart. we can do that anytime you want to. try to sleep now baby. i’m gonna go change.” he says with a smile.

“change? why you’re in your pajamas already.” you were a little confused. “well- now these pjs are covered in my own cum- not very comfortable.” he admits with a shrug. he kisses your lips again before standing up.

“you’ve never came- like that before.” you were shocked. “yea- you were just so fucking beautiful all spread for me. shit i can’t think about it i will get hard again.” he laughs as he rolls off you to change.

“try to sleep baby.” he says as he watches you slide your panties back on and lay back. you close your eyes, mentally thanking minghao for the amazing sleep you got that night.

[badasbebi]

the cupid project ➛ 2/2

part one

✦ pairing: bada lee x fem!reader

✦ summary: you and your long-term work crush devise a plan to win a company contest. in the end, you wind up going to extreme lengths to commit to the bit

✦ genre/au: fluff, smut MDNI!!, fake dating, videographer reader, bada's extra sweet here, slight friends to lovers

✦ word count: 7k

✦ warnings: isn't proofread. top!bada. bada carries a strap and im not talking about a gun. fingering.

✦ a/n: happy (early) valentine's day!

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

When the two of you arrive, the bowling alley is mostly empty, save for the JustJerk employees milling around and a couple of people hanging out in the arcade. The staff member at the counter gives you a warm greeting and directs the two of you to the lane your friends are at. 

You walk up the ramp, scanning the area. The first person you spot is Hoyeon, who is sitting down, chatting with Minho. When she notices the two of you, her lips stretch into a wide smile and she raises a hand to wave. You return the gesture, and the two of you approach her.

"Hi," you smile, plopping down onto the seat next to her. Bada sits next to you, effectively sandwiching you between the two women.

"Hey, guys," she greets, a twinkle in her eyes.

"Did we miss anything?" Bada asks.

"Just the boys getting their asses beat by the girls,” Hoyeon says, glancing at the time on her phone.

"Sounds about right," Bada chuckles.

"Hey! We're not that bad!" Minho says, mock-offended.

"Sure, Minho," Hoyeon says, smirking.

"I don't know. I'm not that great either," you admit.

"Really? Why?" Bada questions.

"I guess I'm just not competitive," you shrug.

"Well you’re gonna have to start getting competitive. I can’t let you be the one who lets the boys get a hold on us,” Bada proclaims, nudging you.

“Why not? We could have a tie, then. Wouldn’t that be nice, Minho? For the boys to not be so embarrassingly outplayed all the time?" you suggest, earning a glare from Minho.

"Oh, shut up," he mutters, causing the three of you to laugh.

"Anyway, y/n, if you’re really that bad, don’t worry about it. I’ll help you out,” Bada promises, placing a hand on your knee. You try not to react.

"Okay, cool, thank you.” You nod, trying not to react.

“No problem,” she says, planting a quick kiss on your cheek. You were going to die before tonight was over.

You glance at Hoyeon, who, upon seeing the exchange, smirks. “So, I'm guessing you two are getting along well?"

"Yeah," Bada grins. "I think so."

"That's good," Hoyeon smiles. "I'm glad."

"Thanks," you reply, avoiding her eyes. You haven’t told Hoyeon that you were faking things with Bada. After the pictures dropped, Hoyeon was one of the first people to text you about it, sending you a flurry of messages full of profanities for not having kept her updated. You’re not sure why you don’t want to tell her the truth. You know she’d be able to keep a secret.

But a part of you knows that you’re enjoying the pretending a bit too much. If you fess up, it would make the reality of the situation more apparent, and the thought of that is starting to disappoint you more than the idea of losing the prize, altogether. 

“Hey! There you two are,” Youngj shouts, breaking your train of thought. He makes his way toward you, followed by Redllic wearing a sour expression on her face.

Youngj stops in front of your group, placing his hands on his hips. "You're late," he pouts.

"Sorry, boss," Bada apologizes.

"It's okay. You're not the only ones," he says, sighing. “Are you guys gonna come play or what?”

"We're coming, we're coming," Bada replies, grabbing your hand and pulling you up.

“Eat em’ up, girls!” Hoyeon shouts with a whoop, followed by loud booing from Minho.

"Let's go," Bada smiles, squeezing your hand.

"Right," you reply, ignoring the racing of your heart.

Bada drops your hand, walking over to the rack and grabbing a bowling ball. She turns around, giving you a thumbs up and a cute smile. You roll your eyes and she laughs, turning back around.

As she steps forward to take her turn, you catch a whiff of her perfume. It's intoxicating.

The ball rolls down the lane and knocks down nine pins. You close your eyes, resisting the urge to shout. Why was this woman good at everything?

Bada throws the ball again, knocking the last pin over and finishing her frame with a strike. The crowd applauds, and she does a cute little curtsy, which you find unreasonably adorable.

You watch her, transfixed, as she approaches you.

"Good job," you say, a bit too enthusiastically.

"Thank you," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Now, it's your turn."

"Alright, alright," you say, making your way over to the ball rack.

You select a red ball, testing the weight. It's heavy, but not too much, and fits comfortably in your hands.

"Remember, use the guide, aim for the middle, and throw slowly," Bada calls, and you nod, not turning around.

You position the ball against your chest, lining up your feet. Then, in one swift motion, you push the ball forward and release it.

The ball lands directly in the gutter, rolling down and colliding with thin air. You groan, watching the screen count up the pins you hit, or lack thereof. Zero. 

"It's okay. Here, I'll show you," Bada says, placing her hands on your shoulders and guiding you over to the middle of the lane.

"First, you want to line up your feet." She says, standing behind you. "And then, you want to position your shoulders and the rest of your body."

You do as she instructs, attempting to focus on her directions.

"Then, the key is to relax and to keep your arm loose. If you tense up, your ball will go all over the place," she says, wrapping her hands around your bicep, massaging it a bit. "So, take a deep breath, and just throw the ball."

You breathe deeply, closing your eyes. You feel the weight of her arms leave your own, and then the weight of her hand on your back.

"Ready?" she whispers, and you nod.

"Okay," she says, patting you, signaling that she has moved.

You exhale, opening your eyes and swinging the ball forward.

You release the ball, and it glides down the lane, knocking eight pins down. You can hear the cheers, but the sound is muffled.

"You did it!" Bada exclaims, hugging you tightly from behind. You laugh, returning her embrace.

"You did most of the work," you say, grinning.

"You would have gotten it without me eventually.”

"Whatever you say," you say, not wanting to argue.

The rest of the night passes by quickly, with you and the girls absolutely destroying the guys, filled with laughter and smiles. By the end of the night, your stomach is sore and your cheeks are aching. When you’re not laughing with one of your coworkers, you’re with Bada, giggling at her jokes, listening to her stories, and being a part of her world. And in the moments when you think nobody is looking, she looks at you and smiles, her eyes soft and sparkling.

Toward the end of the night, you head to the bathroom, fixing your makeup and taking a few breaths. 

After you finish, you exit the restroom, walking over to the bar and ordering a glass of water. As you wait, you notice Bada talking to Redllic, their faces stern and serious. You can't hear what they're saying, but something about their expressions is making you nervous.

"Here's your water," the bartender says, handing you the cup.

"Thank you," you respond, accepting the drink. You take a sip, trying to act casual, but you're not fooling anyone. You knew Bada and Redllic had some kind of romantic history, but you weren’t sure how significant it was.

After a moment, Bada and Redllic separate, heading toward different ends of the bar. Bada makes her way over to you, her features still hardened.

"Are you okay?" you ask, concern filling your tone.

"Yes. I'm fine," she replies, her voice stiff.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you offer.

"Not now. Let’s just have fun, yeah?" she says, a forced smile appearing on her lips.

"Okay," you say, reaching over and squeezing her hand. She squeezes back.

"You know, you look nice tonight," she compliments.

"Thanks," you smile, blushing slightly. "You do, too."

"Thank you," she says, and a small grin replaces her false smile. "So, are you having fun?"

"Yeah, I am," you nod. "A lot of fun. It’s a good thing you dragged me out here, seriously. I’m actually good at bowling now.”

"I mean, you weren’t that bad of a student. It’s not like you needed much help. I’m almost wondering if you faked being bad," Bada teases.

"What?! Of course not. How could you think that?" you exclaim, feigning offense.

"Mhm, I don’t know, you seemed pretty excited when I came to help you out. I think I felt your heartbeat over there," she laughs, poking your arm.

Oh shit. You’ve been found out.

You cross your arms, stubborn and determined to get yourself out of this. "Well, was it necessary to get so handsy with it? Do you do that with all of your students?”

"Only the cute ones," Bada says, staring you down. 

Your heart races. This was escalating quickly. “Well, then, I guess I’ll consider myself lucky."

"You should," she says, a smirk appearing on her lips. “I could get much more handsy, if you wanted me to."

What the hell was going on? As much as you and Bada have casually flirted, it’s never gotten this bold. Whatever happened while you were in the bathroom must have seriously messed with her brain. Maybe she’s experiencing face blindness and thinks you’re someone else.

"Oh, how so?" you ask, playing along, testing the waters.

"I can show you," she says, placing a hand on the side of your face, brushing her thumb across your cheek. She moves her other hand onto your lower back, her grip light, yet firm. You shiver, leaning into her touch.

"What do you think?" she whispers.

"I think I'd like that very much," you admit, feeling her breath on your neck.

"Good," she murmurs, her eyes locking onto yours.

She closes the space between you, and her lips are on yours. She tastes like the fruity wine she had earlier and her chapstick.

You kiss her back, savoring the moment. Warmth and comfort is all around you, enveloping your senses. You pull away after a moment, catching your breath.

"What's wrong?" Bada asks, searching your face.

"Nothing. Everything's perfect," you say, kissing her again.

You don't care anymore. You just want her.

You move your hands, wrapping them around her neck and pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. Her hands trail up and down your sides, sending goosebumps up and down your arms. She bites your lip gently, and you gasp, tugging on her hair.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, you separate. 

Bada exhales, fixing her bangs.

You stare ahead blankly, your mind fuzzy. But, through the haze, you feel a wave of euphoria rush over you, and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from grinning. There was not a single part of you that would've guessed that you'd end up kissing Bada Lee upon joining Justjerk. Really, you were surprised she even gave you the time of day in the first place. You'd spent months trying to work up the courage to speak to her, and when the chance came, you almost choked and avoided her, too overwhelmed by the mere thought of speaking to her. But, as the old adage goes, life's full of surprises.

Bada twists her head to the side, staring at something, or someone with a furrowed brow.

"Hey, what's wrong?" you ask, placing a hand on her forearm.

"Oh, nothing. I was just looking out for Redllic," she replies, her frown melting into a small, apologetic smile.

The smile that you were trying to hold back disappears, replaced with a cold, hard pit of dread. "What about her?"

"She's over there," Bada nods, tilting her chin. You don't bother to turn to look. "You know that conversation you saw us have? She came up to me and accused us of pretending to get together for the money. Said there was no way we actually got together that fast. I, of course, denied it. Hopefully that kiss will shut her up."

"Oh. That makes sense. Sorry for not being more helpful," you apologize, your voice coming out hollow.

"Don't be," she says, her words rushed. "I didn't tell you about it because I didn't wanna worry you. But, we're in this together, right?"

"Yeah, definitely," you say, attempting to ignore the lump in your throat.

"That's good. Now, what were we talking about?" Bada asks, grinning.

Were you even talking about anything? You can't remember, too preoccupied with the dull feeling in the center of your chest. It's not like you were expecting Bada and you to be an actual couple. You were well aware that whatever relationship the two of you shared was just a facade. But hearing the reason why she kissed you was like a bucket of ice water poured over your head, reminding you of reality.

"I can't remember. Actually, I think I'm feeling a little sick," you lie.

"Oh, are you alright?" she asks, her voice laced with concern.

"Yeah. Don't worry about me. It’s probably something I ate. I'm just gonna head home, I think. You don't have to come with. I'll catch an Uber," you reply, forcing a weak smile.

"What? No, don't waste your money. I'll drive you home. Let me just grab my stuff," she offers, but you shake your head.

"It's really okay. I don't want you to miss out on fun with your friends," you insist, the ache in your throat growing. Why'd she have to be so nice?

"No, I insist. I'll drop you off and come back."

"Bada-"

"Y/N, please," she interrupts. "You're important to me. You're my friend. Helping you out isn't a big deal."

Her words simultaneously break your heart and fix it, and, finally, you give in.

"Fine," you sigh.

She grins. "Now, stay put," she commands, a stern expression replacing her worried one.

"Yes ma'am," you salute.

"Good girl," she teases, and you just stare, your face turning pink.

Bada walks off, and you stare into your glass, the ice having melted. After a moment, she returns, her jacket and backpack slung over her shoulder.

"Ready?" she asks, and you nod, following her out of the bar.

The night is cold and dark, and the stars are shining bright. The sound of the wind fills the air, and your footsteps seem loud, crunching against the ground.

You get to the parking lot and walk over to her car. Bada unlocks the doors, and you open the passenger door before she can do it for you, ignoring the frown on her face. You slide in, put your seatbelt on, and she turns the key, the engine roaring to life.

The ride home is filled with an awkward silence, neither of you sure of what to say. Finally, Bada clears her throat.

"Listen, y/n. Are you upset with me, or something? If I did or said anything to make you mad you, I'm sorry," she says, her voice tight.

"No, it's not that," you assure, and she relaxes a bit. "I'm just feeling sick. Like I said."

"Alright," she sighs.

You arrive at your house, and you unbuckle your seatbelt. "Thanks for the ride."

"Of course. I'm glad I could help. Goodnight," she says, and you nod.

"Night," you say, exiting the vehicle.

You head up the path, the wind causing your hair to fly in your face. As you are about to reach the front steps, Bada pulls her car back, reversing. She rolls the passenger window down, sticking her head out.

"Wait!" she shouts, and you freeze, your hand gripping the railing.

"What?" you call back, confused.

"I-uh...ugh," she exclaims, her forehead wrinkling. "I can't just leave you alone. Not when you're sick. Let me take care of you. Please."

You blink. You just could not get rid of this woman. "I'll be fine," you reply, shortly, turning toward your building again. 

"At least let me walk you inside. Then, I'll leave," she offers.

You groan, stopping in your tracks with your eyes closed in frustration. It was too cold for this. "Fine," you mutter.

"Great," she says, and the relief in her voice makes you feel guilty.

"But only for a few minutes. And only because I know how persistent you are."

"Thank you," she says, and the sincerity in her voice makes your chest tighten.

She turns her car off, grabs her backpack, and hops out of the vehicle. You lead her into the building, and the two of you make your way up the stairs, eventually arriving at your door.

You unlock it, and the two of you enter. Your apartment is dark and silent, and the sound of your breathing is loud.

"Well, here it is. It's not much, but it's home," you shrug, flipping the light switch on.

"It's cozy," she smiles, and you can't help but grin, too.

"Yeah. Um, would you like some water, or tea, or anything?"

"No, thank you. I'm okay," she replies, adjusting her backpack straps.

"Alright, then," you say, standing in the entryway.

The awkward silence returns, and the two of you stare at each other, neither knowing what to do. Finally, Bada steps forward, closing the space between the two of you.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seemed pretty distant toward the end of the night," she asks, her features soft.

"Yeah. Like I said, not feeling great. Must have been the food," you repeat yourself  robotically, not looking her in the eye.

She frowns. "I'm sorry."

"Why? It's not your fault," you shrug, avoiding her gaze.

"It is, though. Isn’t it? You're my friend, and I care about you. So, if something is bothering you, I want to know and work it out,” she pauses, a guilt-ridden expression overtaking her features. "If this is about the kiss...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Your stomach drops, and your eyes widen. "What? Why?"

"Because," she sighs, rubbing the back of her neck. "I took advantage of the situation. I should've just told Redllic to fuck off. Or maybe even asked you if you were comfortable with it beforehand."

"You didn't take advantage of me," you argue. 

"Still. It wasn't right. I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry," she repeats, looking at the ground.

"You don't need to be sorry," you insist.

"Really?"

"Yeah," you nod.

"Okay," she says, the crease between her eyebrows disappearing. "Well, then, I guess I should go."

"I guess so," you agree, not making a move.

She hesitates, staring at you. You stare back, your heart racing. She reaches out and takes your hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Goodnight," she whispers, her voice soft.

"Night," you reply, her touch burning your skin.

She releases your hand, turns around, and heads out, the door closing behind her. You watch her leave, your brain going a mile a minute.

You don't know what's wrong with you. It was just a stupid kiss. It meant nothing. But, despite all of that, the pit in your stomach won't go away, and the thought of her lips against yours replays in your mind.

Maybe you were wrong. Maybe it wasn't just a kiss. Maybe it meant everything.

Oh fuck it. Fuck it.

You open the door with a vigor that rivaled that of the Hulk's. "Bada," you call out, sprinting into the hallway.

A few steps down the hall, she freezes.

"What is it?" she asks, turning around, her eyebrows raised.

"Just-just, um," you stammer, your mouth dry. "Come back."

She stares for a second, then smirks. "Okay," she says, walking back with a pep in her step. 

Once she reaches the door, she enters, and the two of you stare at each other, unsure.

"What is it?" Bada asks, her face calm.

"I-uh," you start, then swallow.

Fuck. Why was this so hard? Why couldn't you just be honest with her?

"What?" Bada urges, the smirk returning. You look at the floor, the wall, anything. Finally, you take a deep breath, and look her in the eyes.

"I wanted to ask if...you could maybe stay a little longer," you murmur, your cheeks hot.

She raises an eyebrow, her expression a mixture of amusement and disbelief.

"You sure?"

"Yes," you respond, a little too quickly.

She grins, the smirk replaced with a genuine smile. "Then, I will."

"Okay," you breathe, letting the tension flow from your shoulders.

"So, what did you want to do?" she asks, staring at your lips.

"I don't know," you shrug, not taking your eyes off hers.

"Hmm," she hums, stepping closer.

"Uh, did you wanna, uh, watch TV, or something?" you offer, your voice quiet.

"No," she replies, shaking her head.

"What did you wanna do, then?" you ask, your heartbeat fast.

"Something else." She mutters, and without warning, her lips are on yours again.

She wraps her arms around you, and you immediately melt into her embrace, her scent clouding your senses. Like last time, you wrap your arms around her neck. Her tongue slips into your mouth, exploring, and her hands run down your sides, sending chills down your spine. You let out a moan, and she bites your lip, drawing another from you. 

Your hands tangle in her hair, and hers cup your ass, lifting you up. She carries you over to your bedroom, per your directions, and places you onto your bed gently. Her fingers graze your thigh, and goosebumps pop up all over your body. You pull away, and her eyes are dark.

"Do you want to do this?" she asks, her voice low.

"Yeah," you respond, and she grins.

She kisses you again, and her fingers inch upward, her hand sliding under the hem of your shirt. She traces your skin, leaving a trail of fire, and your breathing quickens.

"Can I take this off?" she asks, pulling at the bottom of your top.

"Yes," you say, lifting yourself off the bed slightly.

She slides your shirt up, and over your head, tossing it aside. She unhooks your bra and discards it, too.

Her eyes linger on your bare chest, and you watch her pupils dilate. You bite your lip, running your hands through her hair.

"Fuck," she growls, and she pushes you back down onto the mattress, her lips trailing from yours to your jaw, your collarbone, your neck, and finally, your chest.

She sucks and nips at the skin there, and you grip her hair tighter, eliciting a moan. She moves downward, kissing down your torso. When her lips reach the waistband of your jeans, she stops, glancing up at you.

"Do you want me to keep going?"

"Yes," you plead, and her mouth curls into a mischievous smirk.

"Okay," she says, and she undoes the button and zipper of your jeans.

She tugs them off and throws them aside, leaving you in just your underwear. Her eyes are on yours, and you're frozen.

"Please," you beg, and she lets out a deep chuckle.

"Begging already?"

"Shut up," you hiss, and she laughs, before her hands slip beneath the hem of your panties.

She pulls the material off, leaving you completely exposed.

"Fuck," she mutters, her eyes wide.

You squirm under her gaze, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "What?"

"You're so fucking sexy," she breathes, her eyes filled with lust.

"Really?"

"Of course. Do you even know what you're doing to me right now?"

"N-no," you mumble, averting your eyes.

"Look at me."

You obey, her usually warm puppy eyes now darkened into something wicked, capturing yours.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," you breathe.

"Good. Now, lay down," she commands, her voice firm.

You comply, relaxing your body. She climbs on top of you, her hand resting on top of your thigh. 

"Do you still want to do this?"

"Yes," you affirm, nodding.

"Okay," she says, and then, her hand is between your legs.

Her fingers slide along your wetness, and your breathing quickens. Her eyes are fixed on yours, watching your reaction.

"Shit," you groan, as her finger presses against your clit.

"You like that?" she purrs, her lips ghosting across your skin.

"Mhmm," you moan, her finger circling the sensitive bud.

Her finger slips inside you, and you cry out, throwing your arms around her torso. She pumps slowly, and her thumb brushes against your clit.

"More," you pant, your body trembling.

"Of course," she hums, slipping a second digit into you.

"Ah," you moan, gripping her tightly.

She thrusts her fingers deeper, hitting that special spot within. You gasp, your back arching. You're so wet you can hear the squelch of her digits moving inside you, and you slam your eyes shut, overwhelmed. Her lips meet your neck, her teeth nipping at the sensitive flesh, and your moans are muffled.

"Bada, please," you whimper, her fingers curling against that spongey tissue, the sensation making your toes curl.

"Please what, baby?" she murmurs, her thumb rubbing against your clit, the friction making you shiver.

"Fuck, fuck, I'm close, please," you gasp, your walls tightening around her. "Make me come," you choke, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

"I will," she promises, and her fingers thrust harder, her thumb moving faster. You cry, the tension in your abdomen building.

"That's it, baby, come for me," she coaxes, and with one final brush against that sensitive spot, you shatter.

The orgasm rips through you, and you convulse, your vision blacking out. You gasp for air, trying to catch your breath. She watches you, a satisfied smile on her face as she caresses your sides with her other hand. 

"Did you enjoy that?"

"Yeah," you say, breathless. "But you didn't finish," you frown, your eyes trailing to her still-clothed form.

"Oh, I will," she says, a smirk reappearing. She rolls over, grabbing her backpack.

"What are you doing?" you ask, sitting up.

"I'm not done with you yet," she answers, her smile devilish. You watch, transfixed, as she pulls out a strap-on and a bottle of lube.

"Oh," you exhale, your core heating. This women was going to be the death of you.

"This okay?"

"The fact that you're casually carrying around a strap-on?"

She smiles, sheepishly. "I like to be prepared."

"But, yes, that is more than okay," you say, licking your lips.

"Great," she says, unbuckling her belt and shrugging her pants off, revealing black boxer briefs. She steps into the harness, pulling the straps tight. She squirts some lube onto her hand, reaching for the dildo, but you stop her.

"Wait-can I?"

"Go ahead," she nods, giving you a smile.

You kneel on the bed, facing her. You gather some lube onto your hand, then coat the silicone. Your hand runs along the length, and your eyes are fixated on the fake cock. It's large, and ribbed, and the mere sight of it makes your thighs squeeze together.

"Like what you see?"

"Yeah," you whisper, looking at her.

She grins, her hands tangling themselves into your hair, pulling you forward. Your lips crash into hers, and she pulls away, her hands tugging your head backward.

"How do you want to do this, pretty girl?"

"I-I don't know," you stammer, flustered.

She chuckles, releasing her hold on your hair. "Lay back down."

You follow her orders, laying back against the pillows.

"Spread your legs," she commands, her tone firm.

You do as she says, your pussy aching. She positions herself in front of you, and leans forward, her lips brushing against your ear.

"Ready?"

"Yes," you sigh, wrapping your arms around her again.

She guides the dildo into you, and the tip teases your entrance, the cool silicone sending shivers through you. She pushes into you, and you gasp, the ribbed surface scraping against your walls.

"Is this okay?"

"Yeah," you moan, squeezing her.

She hums and begins to thrust, hard, the silicone stretching you open.

"Fuck," you cry, digging your nails into her back. Her mouth reaches your neck, sucking, and biting, the sensations overwhelming.

She picks up the pace, your bed squeaking in response, and your hips buck, the pleasure building.

"Oh god, oh fuck," you whine, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes.

"So beautiful," she murmurs, her voice strained.

"Bada, please, faster," you beg, your muscles tensing up. 

"Fuck," she hisses, her pace quickening.

"Yes, yes," you pant, the coil in your stomach tightening.

"You gonna come, baby?"

"Yes, fuck, I'm so close," you moan, her words pushing you closer.

"That's it, come for me," she groans, her thrusts getting sloppier.

"Fuck, Bada," you whine, and you break, the orgasm consuming you. You scream as you ride the waves of ecstasy, her name tumbling from your lips. You cling to her, shaking, the intensity nearly blinding.

"Fuck," you whisper, the euphoria fading, and exhaustion taking over.

"That's it, good girl," she whispers, slowing her thrusts.

You let go, sinking into the bed, your mind hazy. She pulls out of you, and removes the strap-on, tossing it onto the floor. She lays down beside you, and you snuggle into her, your head resting on her chest.

"Fuck," you mutter, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"That was fun," she says, her tone teasing.

"Yeah," you sigh, nuzzling closer.

She strokes your hair, her fingers soothing.

"We should get some rest," she says, her voice low.

"Mhm," you hum, your eyes closing.

You feel her place a kiss on the top of your head, and a smile forms on your face. You drift off, a grin still on your face, and a certain someone's heartbeat the last thing you hear.

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Bada was nowhere to be seen. After you woke up to an empty bed, you searched your house, convinced she was playing a prank on you. No trace of her, her clothes, her bag. You tried to call her, but her phone was turned off. It was as if she'd vanished into thin air.

And so, there you sat, in your apartment, where you slept with her, alone, wondering if you hallucinated the whole thing. Maybe, the stress of working at Justjerk, the pressure of living up to your expectations had finally gotten to you, and caused a nervous breakdown. But, no. She was there, she was real, and she'd given you the best night of your life. The best week of your life. So, where was she?

As the days dragged on, your heart grew heavy. Your calls went unanswered, texts left on read. You didn't even see her at work. The other teachers at Justjerk asked around about her, but the only answer everyone had was that she'd called in sick. You were worried, confused, and mostly hurt. What had happened? Did she regret it, and that was why she disappeared?

In addition to that, your deadline was approaching. People seemed convinced enough that you two were dating at this point, but it probably didn't look good to show up to the Valentine's Day party without your supposed girlfriend. 

You're sitting at home, silently wallowing next to Hoyeon, who is lying on your couch after coming over to your house to edit because of her noisy neighbors. While you're aimlessly shifting your oatmeal around in its bowl, you hear her slam her laptop shut with an exhale. 

"Y/n, is everything okay?" she asks, her tone concerned 

"Yeah, I'm fine," you say.

She shifts on the couch. "Really? Cause it doesn't seem like it."

"It's nothing," you shrug, pushing the bowl away.

"Come on, you can talk to me."

"I just-," you start, before pausing.

"Take your time," she says, her voice gentle.

"I think something's wrong with Bada," you say, quietly.

"Isn’t she sick?"

"I don’t know. I don’t think so. I actually haven't seen or heard from her since, uh, last week. And she won't answer my calls or texts."

"Huh, that's weird. Why?"

"I-I don't know. She just up and left. We had sex, and the next morning, she was gone. Like she'd never been there," you confess, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

"Hey," Hoyeon says, reaching over and rubbing your shoulder. 

"I'm sorry. I'm just-,"

"It's okay. You're allowed to feel this way. I mean, who does that to their girlfriend? That's horrible," Hoyeon huffs, a look of indignance crossing her features.

You cough. "We're not-we're not really dating. Well, I think we aren't," you admit. 

She stops her ministrations. "What do you mean?"

"We-uh, pretended to date. To win the contest."

She blinks, processing this in silence. Then, she lets out a loud guffaw, the force causing her to slip off the couch and land on the floor.

"What's so funny?" you ask in disbelief. 

"You-you are so ridiculous," she manages, her body shaking with laughter.

"Ridiculous? Why?"

"Do-do you not realize that the two of you have been pining over each other since the day you started at the studio?"

"Wh-what? No. We have not," you insist.

"Yes, you have," she giggles, wiping a tear from her eye.

"How could you tell?"

"It's so obvious! Listen, I don't know what kind of weird situationship you guys have gotten into but I don't think anyone is pretending to like anyone, here."

"But she left me!" you argue, exasperated.

"Maybe she was being stupid. Or embarrassed. Who knows? But, she definitely has a thing for you. She's been bothering the videographers forever asking for you. Were you the one who suggested you fake date?"

You blink. "No.”

She laughs again, picking herself up off the floor. "Exactly. Now, have you told her how you really feel?"

"What? No."

"Then, go do that! That's probably why she ran for the hills. Just go to her house and confess."

"I-okay. You're right," you say, standing up.

"Damn straight I'm right. Now, go get your woman," she grins, ushering you towards the door.

You give her a smile, and step outside, a new sense of confidence flowing through you. What were you so afraid of anyway? She wouldn't have done all that she did if she didn't care about you, right? You needed to find her, and tell her. Tell her everything.

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After driving to a random neighborhood and being hit with the realization that you had no idea where Bada lived, you receive a text from Hoyeon just in time with an address.

The sun was just beginning to set, and the sky was a beautiful gradient of blue, pink, and purple. You drive for a bit, eventually making your way to a more residential area, until you find yourself parked outside of an apartment complex.

You exit your car and make your way inside. When you arrive at her unit, the door opens before you can even knock.

"Oh, y/n, hi," Badi says, her voice raspy, her eyes wide. 

She looks unlike herself. Her hair is unkempt, her skin paler than usual. Her clothes are rumpled and her eyes are red, like she's been awake for days.

"Hi, are you okay?" you ask, worried.

"I've been better," she shrugs, looking away.

"Can I come in?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, sure."

She steps aside and you enter. The interior is what you'd expect from her; tidy, and simple.

"Are you hungry?" she offers, gesturing towards her kitchen.

"No, I'm good. Thanks."

"Okay."

You stand in the middle of her living room, the tension growing by the second.

"I've been trying to reach you," you start, tentatively.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, my phone's dead," she lies.

"Really? Because, the first few times I called, it rang," you say, crossing your arms.

She sighs, and walks over to the couch, flopping down. "I'm sorry," she mumbles, burying her face in her hands.

"Sorry? For what? Leaving me alone in bed, with no explanation, not answering my calls or texts for the past week, and lying to my face?"

"I didn't mean to-,"

"Why'd you run?"

"Because I was scared," she says, looking up.

"Of what?"

"This," she admits, gesturing between the two of you.

"You're not scared of anything," you scoff.

"I'm scared of you, y/n."

"Me? Why would you be scared of me?"

"Because I've liked you ever since the day you walked into the studio. I wasn't lying when I said I think you're amazing. And then I didn't want to ruin the friendship that we built."

"So, you pretend to be my girlfriend, sleep with me, and then leave without a word?"

"I'm sorry. I wasn’t initially planning on doing things this way. But you brought up the fake-dating and I thought maybe if we pretended, that'd be enough. It wasn't, and I let my feelings get  ahead of me. And, I'm sorry," she confesses, her gaze dropping.

You review that first meeting you had in the dance studio. For the first time, you realize that Bada actually didn’t suggest fake-dating you. You did. She just proposed that you approach things romantically, rather than platonically. Which could have easily been her attempt at asking you out. 

Whoops. 

You exhale slowly, sitting down next to her. "You know, it's funny. I was coming over here to tell you the same thing. You're really special to me. And, I didn't know how to express that for real. So, I thought, if I was in a fake relationship with you, then it would be easier to do that. Guess, I was wrong too," you say, smiling sadly.

"So, does that mean-,"

You roll your eyes. "Yes, Bada, I like you."

"Oh," she says, smiling, looking away again. 

You bite down on your lip. "So, what are we gonna do now?"

She fully turns toward you, a hopeful gleam in her eyes. "I guess, we can start over. If you want. Go on a real date?"

"Sure," you reply, a warmth blossoming in your chest.

"Cool," she says, her expression brightening.

"Cool," you echo, the two of you grinning, staring at each other like idiots.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please," you whisper, and she leans forward, her lips capturing yours.  You close your eyes, sinking into her touch, the worries, and anxiety of the past week disappearing. Who would've thought that a silly team-building exercise within your company would have ended up leading to this? You almost wanted to ask Bada to pinch you, but, the feeling of her hands cupping your cheeks, and the taste of her mouth, was enough to reassure you that this was real-that the whole thing had been real the entire time. And now that you knew it was, you couldn't wait to explore it further, and discover more about the beautiful woman next to you, who has stolen your heart.

Or, maybe you should give that credit to Cupid. After all, the Cupid Project turned out to be way more successful than you, or Youngj, could've ever imagined.

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Not. 

"How did we lose?!" You nearly screech, watching Hoyeon and Howl stand in the middle of the room with a check in their hands. 

Bada stares at them with a frown. "I don't get it either. Isn't Hoyeon a lesbian?"

Youngj appears out of thin air, sliding into your line of sight. More accurately, it is his bright red fuzzy sweater with pink hearts that captures your eye. "Irrelevant to the contest. Remember, this project was not meant to encourage new workplace relationships."

"But—"

"Nope," he pops the 'p', "You two are very cute, but you lost because you two idiots were already in love with each other, and were just too stupid to admit it. You didn't even need to be a part of the cupid project."

You groan.

"On the bright side, we have free heart-shaped sugar cookies in the corner. Congratulations, Y/n and Bada, on a job well done. Please don't break up, because I do not want to deal with any workplace drama. Goodbye." He disappears again, leaving the two of you staring at the ground.

You guess you were gonna have to say goodbye to that camera, as well. 

Bada turns to you, offering a small smile. "Are you okay?"

You shrug. "It's alright. I didn't need the money anyway. I got something much better out of this whole thing."

She blushes, her cheeks matching the color of her plain red sweatshirt. "Ew."

"Oh shut up," you say, swatting her arm with a laugh.

She rubs her arm, her bottom lip jutting out.

You sigh, pulling her into a hug. She buries her face in your neck, humming. "Well, I guess I don't need to give you the gift I got you for today, then."

"Gift? Wait, what?" You say, shoving her away in shock.

She bursts into laughter, raising a bag that she's been holding silently behind her back. "Of course. I couldn't not get my girlfriend something for Valentine's Day. I've been hiding it the whole time. Here."

You grab the bag, opening it. You pull the gift out of the bag, and a soft gasp leaves your mouth. 

It's the camera.

[cherryblossom-heart]

I loved you once B.B

Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Masterlist

Summary: Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy but breaking your heart seemed to come naturally to him. A love story about your heartbreak,his betrayal and a chance at redemption.

19.1 k words

Content Warning: ANGST, heartbreak, cheating, mature themes, +18 SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (Pussy job, penetrative sex p in v, sad/angry sex? Rough sex mixed with a little pain. It will make sense once you read it) . Fluff, mentions of bad mental health from both Bucky and reader, graphic violence, character's death, mentions of women trafficking as well as assault.

A/N: Wow 19k words. Im sorry this took so long to finish but as you can tell it is super long as I promised. Buckle up y'all, this is sad. Also this is my first time writing a proper cheating fic so if you can/want let me know if you like it or not. You're welcomed to send me an ask with any comments, questions, etc., you have on this 😊

Post dividers by @firefly-graphics and @cafekitsune

Now  

"Fuck you," you spat the words.    

Tears fell from your eyes as they made their way down your neck, making dark spots in the collar of your red turtleneck. Even when pain was drowning you, beauty never left you. Bucky felt as if he were watching a beautiful Renaissance painting—a tragedy of sorts.   

"Is that all? I really don’t have time for this."   

He didn’t recognize his own words or the indifference they came out with. He didn’t mean to say them, but it was as if his own body was working on autopilot, and he was only a spectator to the shitshow it was causing. He wanted to stop. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to say so many things, but the only thing he was capable of was hurting you.   

"Are you kidding me? That’s all you’re going to say?"   

"What else do you want me to say? You know what happened, you saw her with your own eyes. Anything I say is either going to make you angrier or make you cry even more. Let’s just be done with this, you’ll eventually get over it."   

The sound of your hand connecting with his face put an end to his sentence. The hit didn’t feel as such, his skin barely processed it as anything more than a simple graze, but once the initial shock wore off, the sting came along. But it didn’t compare to the pain he felt in his heart when his eyes connected with yours once again.   

"I always knew you were capable of many things, but not once did I think you would ever be this cruel."   

Your eyes drifted to your hands, your right hand playing with the ring you wore in your left. A sigh left your lips, and more tears fell before you finally slid it off your finger, placing it on the table next to you.   

A bucket of iced water. Painful, burning, scorching coldness— that’s how Bucky would describe looking at you while silently breaking your engagement. His mind was telling him to get on his knees, beg, and try to fix everything he had broken. But the darkest part of him, the one that had taken over his life was assuring him you were bluffing. You couldn’t leave, you always stayed. You always fought for him, even when he didn’t deserve it.   

"What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes rolling with the uninterested façade he had perfected.   

"I’m done, I can’t keep doing this anymore." You turned your back, strong and determined steps leading to his apartment door.  

Please, fix this.   

His trembling hands made their way to your wrist, anything that could mend the cracks in your heart that seeped with pain, the cracks he had caused with his own selfishness. Before his fingers could even graze your skin, your hand quickly swatted away his pathetic effort to stop you.  

"God, stop being so goddamed drama—"   

"Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t try to contact me ever again, I won’t answer."   

"Can you just—"   

"If I ever see you again I swear I’ll murder you. I didn’t kill you the first time we met but I swear I’ll do it if you even dare to breath in my direction."   

Your words hurt, it seemed as though each one stabbed him right through the chest in a taunting way, a reminder of how much he had screwed up. Bile rose to his throat when you recoiled at his proximity, and the hate in your eyes burned him with such force that he was sure you wouldn't wait until the next time you met.   

He deserved it either way.  

Bucky's eyes opened just as the car jolted, his heart racing against his chest, his ears buzzing. For a fraction of a second, he's confused, not remembering why he was in the car, but the fogginess of his thoughts was replaced with anxiety when he heard the tracker beeping on Sam's thigh. 

"Good, you’re awake. I think we’re almost there." Sam kept his eyes on the road, occasionally glancing down at the device that told him where to go. Judging by his demeanor, his friend didn’t seem as nervous as he did, if at all. It wasn’t like Sam had a reason to, he was the only one who had fucked up.  

He looked out at the vehicle, and the passing trees in the darkness of the night numbed his mind while he tried to forget about his dream. No, it wasn’t a dream, it was his worst memory to date. Usually, his nightmares were about the crimes he had committed while being the Winter Soldier, and he could blame them on his consciousness not being there with him. His own body didn’t belong to him, so he couldn’t keep blaming himself for the things HYDRA had forced him to do.  

With you, on the other hand, he could not blame anyone else but himself. His mind wasn’t tortured by a secret organization in hopes of ruining his relationship, nor was he forced to hurt the person about whom he cared the most to save thousands of lives. He did it all by himself, and now the nightmares have not only scared him but hurt him all over again.  

You started to show up in his dreams more frequently once Sam told him they needed your help. As expected, the super-soldier's first reaction was total and complete refusal. His friend thought it was a childish reaction the former winter soldier was having to avoid the awkwardness of meeting you again, only knowing your relationship had ended on bad terms without hearing the specifics. But the blue-eyed man wasn’t doing it for himself, he was doing it for you. The night you left, you made it clear you didn’t want anything to do with him, or even anything related to him, your resignation from the Avengers Team and subsequent evaporation from the face of the earth was a strong message to leave you alone.  

After a few hours of arguing, with both men going back and forth on why they did or didn't need you, Bucky finally agreed to go look for you. Lives were at stake, and no matter how hard he tried to look for a solution that avoided you, there seemed to be none. Before he could ask where to even start looking for you, Sam pulled out a device that seemed familiar to a phone. You had given Sam, and only Sam, a tracker that could find you anywhere in the world and could only be unlocked by a password you had whispered to him  

The depth of his tormenting cycle of thoughts didn’t let him register they weren’t on the road anymore until his partner stopped the vehicle. They were surrounded by tall, dense trees, and the crickets and cicadas that hid in the dark made an orchestra that filled the emptiness of the night. Sam grabbed his gear, the sound of a duffle bag being opened broke the rhythm of nature.  

"Why are we stopping here?" Bucky asked with a frown. His own duffle was placed across his back, the tinkering of the metal inside it annoying him slightly.  

His friend threw an annoyed look at him before rolling his eyes and scrambling through his belongings. "As I said like twenty minutes ago while you were brooding and having your own pity party, this thing shows her inside a building in the middle of the woods. I’d like to take a look around the area before going in blind."  

"Oh."  

Normally, the super soldier would’ve had a comeback for the annoying yet harmless insults his friend and partner would throw at him, even a snide comment. But this was different, no matter what Sam would say, he could only think of what was about to happen. So he let it slide, submerging himself in his own thoughts while Sam threw the little flying robot he nicknamed "Red Wing" into the air. Once it was hovering above them and Sam made sure to have full control of it, they began a walk that would last about thirty minutes before the device would find any signs of life.  

Sam and him were waiting somewhere near the alleged building, Sam's robot scanning the surroundings.The thumping in his chest returned, and his fingers became ice cold.He was so close. Close enough to see you, close enough to talk to you, and perhaps close enough to apologize. 

How would you react to seeing him? Would you be happy to see him? Probably not, considering the last thing you said to him was that you would kill him if he ever came near you. He knew he deserved it, but hopefully time changed your murderous resolution. Maybe even forgave him.  

Could you ever forgive him?  

A slight swat from Sam brought him back from his thoughts, silently letting him know they were ready to go. Bucky could sense it before the place was even visible, the vibrations of the music resonating through the ground. The smell of smoke, alcohol, and humanity reached his nostrils right as they saw the line of cars parked in a plain field next to what resembled a warehouse.  

To an untrained eye, it would look like a normal, unsanitary, and probably unsafe rave done by stupid people. But the polarized windows of the cars, the shine coming from the inside of the guards' jackets, and the lot of security cameras installed in the building told another story. Whatever or whoever was in there was dangerous, and as usual, you had gotten yourself in the middle of it.  

Bucky wasn’t an idiot. He knew you couldn’t stay away from helping people, no matter how hard you tried. He saw the breadcrumbs, microscopic, little clues that he could recognize as your style. A missing girl suddenly returning to her family, a kidnapped journalist in the middle of war returning to their respective embassy. A child trafficker falling from his hotel room in the twentieth floor. You had always been... effective when it came to missions, sometimes going overboard with your methods, but Tony, Steve, and himself had always guided you towards the good and righteous path that a person with your abilities was supposed to take. 

You lost all three of them in the span of a year.  

They were lucky that it was relatively easy to get inside, and even luckier that their clothes didn't draw too much attention to them. Sure, they seemed to be wearing more clothes than needed, as most people seemed to enjoy themselves topless and/or pantless, but with the darkness of the room barely being lit by the flashing blue and red lights, no one really noticed them.  

Guys, girls, and people he wasn’t sure how to label were grinding against each other. Hands touched him, pulling his jacket, and he had to push them all away, trying to make his way through the sea of people. The inside of the warehouse could pass for a functioning club, with couches, dance floors, and screens accommodating everyone inside.  

Bucky wasn’t sure he had ever seen anything like this; the debauchery that people showed shocked his old-fashioned ways. He was sure he had seen several people inside each other, whether it was fingers, tongues, or dicks, no one seemed to mind that everyone else could see them. How had you gotten yourself into the middle of this disguised orgy? What were you even doing here?  

Both men made their way to the front of the place, where a private section was installed looking over the dancefloor. Two large guys guarded the stairs that connected the lower and upper levels, allowing mostly attractive girls to ascend. Both men agreed that if you were to be found somewhere, it would undoubtedly be there. They scanned the room, looking for any way they could access the VIP level without having a pair of tits and long legs.  

He had never understood scenes in movies where they showed time slowing down. Every time he had been in a fight, whether it was as himself in the forties or as the winter soldier, everything seemed to happen too fast to process. Even the night you left, time had seemed to go at an abnormally fast pace, and by the time he could finally react the way he wanted, it had been too late.  

He never understood those scenes until he saw you walking to the protective railing surrounding the edge of the private section. Above the deafening music, the moans, and the music, he could hear your voice talking to someone else.  

It was as if he was seeing you for the first time. Your beauty had remained the same your hair, your eyes, and your lips all looked the same, yet his heart started racing just as it did all those years ago. You weren’t dressed like everyone else dancing around him, your black dress with a dangerous deep cleavage was sensuous, but it held a certain level of class that made you stand out from the crowd.  

Thump, thump, thump.  

Time moved at a slow pace, the slowest he had experienced. He was grateful for it, as it allowed him to appreciate every detail from you. The way your lips came close to the drink you had in your hand, the drumming your fingers did on top of the railing, the glint in your eyes—he knew it meant you were lost in your thoughts.   

Bucky had never been more grateful for the way time passed. Until he saw a pair of hands sliding across your waist, fingers gripping your hips so roughly, he was sure they would leave a mark on your skin. A semi-attractive man whispered words in your ear, his beard scruffing against your skin. You smirked, turning around to plaster your lips against his in a kiss that could make a pornstar blush.  

He knew you'd moved on; nearly a year had passed since the last time he saw you, and you'd probably found someone to sleep with, but he wasn't ready to watch you become someone else's. His mind was prepared to face your happiness, but his heart wasn’t. And even now, he was sure you were just tagging along with the man, using him for information for whatever mission you had gotten yourself into, yet he felt as if what remained of his heart had been ripped out of his chest.  

With strong, rough movements, the man turned you around, pressing your body against the railing. As his hand grabbed your neck, your hips grinded against his, your mouth open as you licked your lips. 

The super soldier couldn’t take it anymore, his heart begged him to stop the torture. He wasn’t even sure where Sam was, nor did he care. He cared about you, and he could only think about what he had lost. With the last of his dignity, he began to look away from you and your companion, who had leaned over to your ear once more. Except this time his eyes found Bucky’s, his fingers tightening around your neck.  

He knew. Somehow the man knew who he was and, most importantly, who you were.  

Your eyes widen slightly, searching through the sea of people dancing downstairs. But it didn't take you long to find those blue eyes you once adored. He was there, looking exactly the same as the night you left him, along with your heart.  

"I know who you are." The man whispered in your ear—a threat not so subtly hidden behind every word.  

But you couldn’t dwell long on his words because ice-cold eyes looked back at you. Ice cold eyes brought back the pain you thought you left behind, and the rage surfaced once more as you remembered the promises you made him.  

Cold metal was pressed against your neck, the edge of it grazing your skin. Bucky’s eyes widened in alarm, and his hands turned into fists, making him look like he cared. Like he actually had a heart.  

He barely took two steps in your direction when the wicked smile you wore stopped him. It was sinister. It was deadly. And when you turned to the man to say something, his grip faltered as one word left your lips.  

"Good"  

Your head connected against the man’s nose, a crack let you know it was most likely broken. You barely heard the man’s yells when bullets made their way to you, a couple of them grazing your skin. The room that was once filled with hips swaying, alcohol, and moans had transformed into a frenzy of screams and people running to get out of the building.  

The crowd tried to take Bucky away; their desperate attempts at escaping dragged him away as he fought his way through the sea of people. Seconds passed, and he could hear your grunts as well as more shooting coming from the upper floor, with girls running down the stairs, some of them with splashes of blood staining their clothes.  

He didn’t know whose blood it belonged to, and that frightened him.  

Sam’s voice pulled him out of his trance. "What the hell happened?"  

His friend had managed to make his way to him, both of them still getting pushed around. Bucky offered him a quick glance before resuming his previous task of making his way to the stairs.  

"Her cover is blown," was all the explanation Bucky offered, and somehow it was enough. Before any of them could add anything, screams came from the front door, three bulky men were making their way there while carrying very large and dangerous guns. "Take care of them, I’ll go help her," the super soldier said without leaving any room for discussion.  

When his fingers finally grabbed the banister of the stairs, Bucky was close to losing his mind. Climbing two steps at a time, he finally found himself a scene that froze him in the spot.  

You were there, your black dress ripped in some places, your makeup ruined by mascara running down your cheeks, and blood splashes tainted your flawless skin. Bucky had managed to get there just in time as you twisted a man's arm to an unnatural angle, the crack of his joint popping out of place was followed by his screams. You had managed to kill/knock out everyone except for the guy who had previously had a knife to your throat, and Bucky knew better than to think that was just a mere coincidence.  

After the last man fell to the ground, blood sputtering out of his neck, you lifted your gaze towards him. He couldn’t read you as easily as he had once been able to and he hated it. Before, he was sure he knew you better than you knew yourself, more than once already sure of your likes and dislikes before you asked him for an opinion. He had treasured those times in his mind, and the memories were as comforting as they were painful. A constant reminder of what he had lost.  

He was right there, right in front of you. The man you fell in love with when you still had a heart. The man who still had a tight grip on it and who would probably always own it. He could keep it for all you cared, your heart was tainted with memories you didn’t wish to keep.  

It was the first time both of you were this close, every scream gone as you were absorbed by your own bubble. He looked so familiar that your own body reacted the way it used to whenever you saw him. Your heart stammered in your chest, and even after so long, the butterflies in your stomach appeared for a millisecond. He was the man you had once loved, he was the man with whom you imagined a future together.  

Then, you remembered why all your hopes and dreams had been destroyed.  

Bucky noticed the hurt flashing through your face, your jaw tightening right before you made your way to him. For a moment, he thought you were about to hug him, your desperation to reach him in your long strides mirroring his as his body begged him to touch you. He wanted to apologize, beg for forgiveness at your feet, and profess the love that he wasn’t able to forget.  

Perhaps if his mind hadn't been plagued with all the things he wanted to do, he would’ve noticed your foot rising to give him a solid kick on the chest.  

The force and unexpectedness of your attack launched him back to the railing, throwing him over it. His back landed with a loud thud on the floor, fortunate enough for him, everyone else seemed to have dissipated and his fall wasn’t that high up. A second later, you jumped from the banister, landing on top of him with your knife in hand. Your knee found it’s place on his chest, feet pressing his hands flat on the surface. Before Bucky could even muster a word, the blade was pinned against his throat.  

"I told you if I ever saw you again, I would fucking kill you." 

Then  

Steve had changed so much in the years they had spent apart. His friend, who had once been the fragile little Brooklyn boy he would protect with his life, was now a fully grown man with a strength that could crush a person if he wasn’t careful enough. He was also now his protector, not from bullies that would harass him because of his own stubbornness but from a secret organization that wanted to take over the world. That and his own fractured mind.  

He had lost control once the man had given him the commands to bring back the deadly assassin they had turned him into. He remembered it all, but it had felt as if he was under water the whole time, falling deeper and deeper the more he tried to fight against it. His own body didn’t belong to him, no matter how hard he tried to control it.  

For a year, he had thought it was possible to lead a normal life; his time spent in Romania had given him false hope that he had gotten away from his captors. How foolish he had been, thinking he could ever be far away from his grasps. He wasn’t the man he was before, just a weapon designed to hurt people.  

He supposed he was lucky Steve still saw good in him, at least enough to turn against his teammates and friends to help him clear his name. And now, as they drove to one of Steve’s friends' hideouts, he couldn’t help but feel guilty about everything that was going on. If he hadn’t lost control, Steve wouldn't be a wanted criminal. If he wasn’t captured, a shit ton of innocent, good people would still be alive. If his mind had been stronger, he could’ve broken free of HYDRA's mind control.  

Maybe it would’ve been better if he had actually died when he fell from that train.  

Steve parked outside an abandoned apartment complex, it seemed no one had lived there in years. He threw a questioning eyebrow at Sam, who just shrugged before getting out of the vehicle. Another of Steve’s friends had decided to help him out of loyalty to Steve, not because he particularly liked Bucky or entirely believed in his good side.  

All three men walked inside the building, not a sound inside other than their footsteps and heavy breathing. Steve looked around for a couple of seconds before making his way to the second floor, his intuition telling him where to go. He stood in front of a door with a big C plastered on it, his friend's hand hesitating before knocking on the wood.  

After the third knock came back without an answer, Steve decided to open the door. He had called a name while crossing the threshold, looking around for any signs of life inside the apartment. Bucky was surprised to find the apartment filled with computers, blueprints, documents, and lots of military-grade equipment. Everything gave away the signs of someone working there, yet there was no one who took ownership over them.  

It was too late when Bucky heard you standing behind him, with his feet being swept by your leg and effectively knocking him down. The wooden floor amplified the echo of his fall, catching Steve and Sam’s attention. Your frame landed on top of his, gun aimed directly between his eyes.Bucky's hand reached to grab your ankle in an effort to destabilize you, but the barrel of your weapon was pressed right on his forehead.  

"I wouldn’t do it if I were you," you said coolly. "I promise you, I’ll blow your brains out before you can even land a hit."  

After your words filled the room, Bucky’s eyes finally took their chance to look at you, actually look at you.  

God, you were beautiful.  

Maybe it was only your physical beauty that had taken him by surprise, or the fact that you had taken him down so easily with just one leg movement. Or even the fact that you seemed to have no fear towards a man who was being marketed as a "dangerous and armed terrorist." Whatever it was, Bucky couldn’t deny the fact that you were the most beautiful human being he had seen.  

After a few explanations from Steve’s part and some begging for help, you released the super soldier from your hold, weapon holstered in your back. Your hand extended to help him get off the floor, and you offered him a charming but wary smile.   

You told the three men to make themselves at home and take anything they needed. Bucky had chosen to keep guard, being by himself in the top floor while looking out through a window that hid him from everyone else. He was stewing in his own complicated thoughts when he heard a knock on the wall. You were there, standing a few feet away from him with a shy smile on your face as you extended to him a cup filled with hot coffee.  

Thump, thump, thump.  

"Sorry about the whole thing holding you hostage," you said as he welcomed the cup.  

His fingers accidentally grazed against your own, and it was as if he had touched electricity itself. Heat extended from his hands all through his body, and his ability to think was thrown out of the window. He looked at you, and he couldn’t tell if you felt the same or not, but he could feel how your eyes burned him, with a curiosity behind them that was so easy to read that he was surprised you were the black ops/spy Sam had told him.  

"It’s whatever, I would’ve done the same thing if I were you." Bucky answered after a few seconds.  

He turned to look through the window again, trying to keep his thoughts in order. You settled down next to him, the warmth of your skin reaching his own. Nothing could be heard other than your breathings, not even the cars outside or the sound of the busy city that hid you. And for the first time in a long time, Bucky felt relaxed with someone he didn’t know from the past.  

"I’m James."  

He could’ve sworn he heard you smile before you gave him your name. 

Now  

"What the fuck are you doing here, Barnes?"  

The music was still on, as were the blue and red lights that lighted up the darkness in the room. Bucky could feel the breeze of your breath on his face and the smell of expensive whisky and tobacco in every word you said. He wasn’t surprised, the man that you knocked out probably tried to impress you with them.  

But behind the traces of blood, alcohol, and gunpowder, he could smell your shampoo. The same peony smell mixed with lavander filled his nostrils, and it brought him back to the many nights you had spent together. Your fingers were drawing circles on the skin of his back, and his nose was buried in your hair.  

You, on the other hand, were reminded of the suffering he caused you with every passing second.  

"I told you to stay away from me," you muttered.  

Your hand pressed the edge of the blade on his skin, and you were sure if you kept going you were going to start drawing out blood, but you couldn’t care less. Bucky Barnes had always been an expert at instilling unwanted emotions in you, and it was difficult to keep those emotions at bay right now. 

You felt anger. You felt resentment. You felt pure, long-lasting hatred.  

"Maybe I should slit your throat right now, that’ll make you stay away from me permanently."  

Your words were intimidating, filled with the same promise you had made him that fateful night. This was his chance, his chance at the apology that had died out in his throat when you closed the door behind him. This was the chance he had chased in his dreams for almost a year.  

But he couldn’t say anything.  

He loved you. God, he loved you so much. He missed seeing your face other than in the few pictures he kept or in the memories that did no justice. Because even now, as you threatened to kill him, you were a dream come true, just like the first time he saw you. 

"Say something!"  

"You’re beautiful."  

Your grip faltered on the knife, your eyebrows slightly furrowing at his words.  

No, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t come back out of nowhere, say some cheesy, basic compliment, and make the walls of hate you had built crumble. Even if he had only managed to knock down one brick, he didn't deserve it. You knew it, he knew it, and everyone else who knew what happened between you two knew it.  

Then why did your heart flutter at his words?  

"Hey," Sam said, breaking the silence, your head snapping in his direction."I know he’s an asshole, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t kill my partner."  

You look back at Bucky for a few seconds before giving up, throwing your knife to the floor. Sam leaned over, his hand extended to help Bucky get up.Your murderous eyes went from Bucky to Sams, your gaze softening at his friend.  

"I told you to only contact me in emergencies," you grumbled.  

A hiss left your lips when you touched your arm, one of the bullet wounds was still seeping blood. Bucky thought about telling you something, but this time he listened to the rational part of his brain that told him to shut the fuck up.  

"Believe me, if we had a choice, we wouldn’t have come," Sam said.  

Your eyes flickered between both men, not convinced about helping them. Well, on helping the blue eyed super soldier. A pathetic excuse for why you couldn’t help them died on your lips once you saw his blue eyes. Please, help us they begged.  

You didn’t owe him anything. You shouldn’t help him, but in the back of your head, Steve’s voice rang through. Good ol’ Steve Rogers and his everlasting moral lessons. That's what we have to do, he said. 

So you put aside your feelings because helping people mattered more than an idiot who broke your heart.  

"What do you want?" You sighed.  

"We’re looking into something... odd. A bunch of pregnant women missing, still in their early stages of pregnancy. Most of them show up dead after giving birth, but the babies are nowhere to be found."  

You shrug. "They take the kids, so?"  

It was cold, you were aware of it. But after the things you had seen, the things you had done, you were aware that people kidnapping woman for their babies wasn’t something out of the ordinary, let alone something that required Captain America to look into it. Things like that were always forgotten, pushed back into a slew of cases alongside more missing women. 

"They had traces of the super serum."  

Fuck.  

You laughed. A joyless, cynical type of laugh. Destiny, of course, had to be a jerk. 

"Well, you’re in luck. I think we’re tracking down the same people." Sam raised an eyebrow at you with a simple request for you to elaborate. "A girl showed up dead in México a couple of months ago, she’d been missing for almost a year. Autopsy showed she had a miscarriage before dying, the bleeding killed her. The remains had traces of the serum too."  

"Are you saying that—?" Sam couldn’t finish his sentence, the thought sending chills along his spine.  

"Yeah."  

The air is somber between the three of you. Sure, the flag smashers were a problem when they appeared, as you knew from all the news reports you'd seen.People with ten times the strength of a normal human being were dangerous, especially if they were associated with a terrorist organization. 

This was different, though. This was sinister.  

Groans coming from the top floor broke the eeriness that surrounded you, making you finally remember why you were here. You tore apart part of the black dress that was once pristine and wrapped it around your arm.  

"Look at this guy over there," you said, motioning behind you. "He has intel on this, he’s the one that gets the girls and delivers them."  

"Well, let’s take him in and—"  

You cut Sam off. "No. Look, you came looking for me because this is my specialty. I know how to handle guys like him, and I sure as hell know he won’t tell us shit if we take him to a precinct and threaten him with some jail time. He’s a big fish. A few phone calls and he’ll be out in no time." They knew you were right, but they didn’t like your arguments. "We do this my way, or you better pray you find them before I do."  

Sam looked hesitant. He knew what you were going to do to the man, and his good conscience chastised him for even thinking of letting you torture someone. But the rational part, the part that knew that in this case there wasn’t much of an option, knew that they needed you, and perhaps you also needed them.  

"Just, don’t kill him." Sam said before walking away.  

Compromise. You could do compromise.  

"Fine," you said, rolling your eyes. 

After Sam slammed the door shut on his way out, you were reminded of the fact that you weren't alone. Bucky’s eyes were already looking at you, the same apologetic eyes you had seen before you kicked him in the chest.  

"Thanks for helping us." He spoke, thinking it was an appropriate way to break the ice, but it only managed to make you scoff.  

"Let’s make something clear, I’m not doing this for you." you spat. "I’m doing this because Sam needs my help and so we can save those innocent girls and stop any more from being taken. This doesn’t change anything between us, as soon as this is over, you go back to leaving me the fuck alone, got it?"  

Say something. Fight for her. Explain what happened, his mind begged him.  

But he couldn’t, because even if it had been almost a year since he last saw you, he was still the same coward who let you walk away without a fight.  

So he agreed.  

"Yeah."  

"Good. I’ll meet you outside." 

Then  

"Thanks for the coffee." Bucky said before taking a sip.  

Droplets of water fell from his forehead, a strand of unruly black hair was hanging on the side of his eyebrows. The towel that hung from his waist, showing his torso all the way down to that sculpted V of his abdomen, made it too difficult to concentrate on the files you were trying to organize.  

The man was hotter than the sun.  

"No problem." you smiled at him.   

You had no idea it would be the best and worst decision you'd ever made when you suggested Bucky stay with you while Steve went to rescue the others.You liked Bucky, and the few days you spent with him while Steve and the others gathered everything they needed so they could go find Zemo had been nice. Sure, he was a man of a few words, but it didn’t bother you. It was weirdly comforting to be able to enjoy someone’s company in silence. And the times he spoke, he did it out of pure curiosity, curiosity about the world, about what had happened while he was in the ice, but mostly about you.  

He asked about your cases, how you met Steve, and how you came to partner with some of the most powerful people in the world. He asked about your life, about your childhood in the orphanage, and what made you choose to help people. He asked so many questions, yet he still respected you when you didn’t want to answer some of them. He asked, not to pry, but to get to know you, and in return, when you asked him something, he was as honest as he felt comfortable being.  

And that was the problem. No matter how much you tried, you knew your days with Bucky Barnes were numbered. Ever since you were young, you knew that being in this line of work would prevent you from having a normal life. You couldn't have a normal relationship. You weren’t meant to have the love story your favorite movies portraited, the white picket fence and the family of five wasn’t in your future.  

Neither was he, maybe in the forties he would’ve came home from war and found himself a pretty girl to marry. But now, after everything he had seen and everything he had unwillingly done, he probably wouldn't want a relationship any time soon. Or maybe not at all.  

But after three weeks of being cramped up in the same little apartment, you were getting used to him. You had developed a little routine together that always ended up with a cup of coffee at the end of the day. Sometimes both of you would just sit in silence, taking in each other's company while you sipped on your cups. Other times, just like now, he would sit next to you as you watched whatever movie you had decided to put on.  

You had to cut this at the root before it became too hard to let go.  

"So, you’re going to Wakanda?"  

He sighs. "Yeah. Steve says they have someone that might be able to help with... help with my..."  

"I know." You finished for him, suddenly placing your hand on top of his. He tensed at your touch, both of you looking down at your hands before you took away yours, embarrassed at your own lack of control. "Well, if you’re not too busy there, I could go visit you sometimes."  

"You would?" he questioned.  

"If you want me, too," you shrugged, trying not to reveal your excitement. 

He looked at you, his thoughts unreadable through his face. For a moment, you thought he was going to reject your offer, but something changed in his eyes. He smiled, the faintest, littlest hint of a smile you had seen, but it was there.  

You made him smile for the first time.  

"Yeah. I’d like that."  

If someone were to ask Bucky when he first felt he could love you, it would be right now. With the dim light of the TV lighting up your face and a shy smile on your lips as you told him you were willing to travel such a long distance just to see him.  

And as you lay next to him, your head against his shoulder, you thought to yourself that maybe you could be selfish for once and allow yourself to enjoy his company a bit more. 

Now  

There were drops of water leaking out of a pipe, he could hear them from the other side of the room. Everything around him was dark, it seemed the only source of light was on top of him and the woman on the floor pleading for her life.   

"Please don’t do this," she begged with a Spanish accent. "I don’t want to die, please."   

He wanted to move, he wanted to throw away the gun in his hand, but it was like he was a spectator of his own life. His body was not his, or his breathing. Not even his heartbeat listened to the inner panic attack he was having. Nothing belonged to him.   

"Kill her," a distorted voice told him. His eyes glanced at him quickly, and he noticed the man had no face. No one around them had one.   

Everything felt like it was in slow motion. His finger moved, pressing the trigger of the gun, but he refused to give up. He had to try, even if his own consciousness was trying to kick him out, sucking him into the pool of darkness he had been resting in for a long time.   

But even if he tried for years, he couldn’t win. He was powerless.   

Broken.   

He could only witness how the other "him" obeyed. The woman's eyes changed from scared to lifeless in less than a second. A splash of crimson staining his combat boots kept his attention. He couldn’t hear what the other people in the room were saying, he didn’t exist anymore, or he didn’t want to. The sound of the water leak was deafening now. Growing louder and louder until it consumed everything around him   

He didn’t want to be awake. Not like this.   

And as he felt himself disappearing, he hoped this was the last time he came back to the surface. He would rather be surrounded by emptiness.   

Yet something interrupted him, pulling him back up.   

A woman's voice, so familiar it made his heartbeat change.   

"Bucky!"  

Bucky's eyes opened wide. His head was spinning, his breathing was rapid, and his heart felt like it was going to burst through his chest. The adrenaline in his system made him dizzy, and he could feel his hands shaking. And he was feeling. A lot. Scared, angry, hopeless. So many emotions constricted his chest, burying him under their weight.  

"Bucky," you repeated. His head snapped at you, showing you a pair of wide, terrified eyes.  

Your feet almost moved. A pure protective instinct filled you with dread at the fact that you couldn’t help him anymore. Your head and your heart were in conflict. In one hand your heart begged you to go to him, stroke his back as you peppered kisses along his shoulder. Then you would lie back in bed while your hands surrounded his body, your front pressed to his back in a way to say, I’m here, I love you, and everything will be alright.  

On the other hand, your brain told you to turn in the other direction. Walk away from the night terrors that plagued his mind and let him suffer in silence. He wasn't your responsibility anymore, and you shouldn't be concerned about helping him with whatever was wrong with him. 

Was it possible to hate and care about someone at the same time?  

"Nightmares?" you couldn’t help yourself from asking. 

His left hand rubbed his eyes, a sigh leaving his lips. "Yeah. Sorry if I woke you up."  

"You didn’t."  

You sat at the table in front of the couch he was lying on, a steaming cup of lavender tea between your hands. The cling of the spoon clashing against the ceramic filled the uncomfortable silence between you.  

"Where’s Sam?" he asked, sitting straight as a couple of droplets of sweat fell down his forehead.  

"He has a contact in the city. He left to meet them."  

"Oh."  

Whatever else he was about to say died on his lips. You noticed he seemed to do that often since meeting again, his eyes speaking the words he would never say. Sometimes you would catch him looking at you, the frown on his forehead deepening with the passing of time. It made you wonder if he would now be open to answering your questions.  

"He said you’re going to therapy."  

He was taken aback by your question. It probably was the first time you said more than the necessary to him. Also, it was the first time that you showed any sort of interest in his life.  

"Uh, yeah. Court mandated."  

You hummed, sipping on your tea.  

"Does it work?"  

You saw the hesitance in his eyes. The way his jaw clenched and his grip on the couch made his knuckles white made you think he was about to change the subject with a witty, bitter, or sarcastic remark, or maybe even just ignore the question at all. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did, by the end of your relationship, he was an expert in it.  

Bucky didn’t change much after all, you thought to yourself  

But he broke the silence.  

"In some ways." he started, his gaze dropping to the floor. "The nightmares don’t come as often anymore, and I don’t feel the need to shoot every asshole that drives a shitty car with a shitty exhaust pipe." You chuckled at his confession, making a slight smirk show on his face. "But she’s too much."  

"What do you mean?"  

He sighed. "She pisses me off. I hate that she keeps trying to make me feel better by just saying my life is better now and I shouldn’t feel like shit anymore. But it’s not that easy. Just like it’s not easy to follow the stupid set of rules she gave me."  

He looked up to see your reaction to his words, expecting to see the same hardened look you’ve given him the past couple of weeks. And it was just that what greeted his eyes, your lips slightly pressed together and your eyes decorated with a slight scowl that only showed up for him.  

But behind the tough exterior, he could see your eyes had softened. For a brief second, your eyes showed care and understanding to what he siad before going back to the usual void stare you gave him.  

"She sounds like a bad therapist." He shrugged in agreement, he couldn’t say anything against the truth. "She also sounds like a bitch."  

He laughed. The type of laugh that caught him off guard and made his lungs run out of air. Granted, your joke might’ve not been as funny as his laugh was giving it credit for, but he had always been fond of your bluntness.  

You couldn’t help but laugh with him too.  

Laughing with Bucky felt foreign yet so familiar at the same time. It felt like reminiscing on a memory you didn’t remember you had, a bittersweet memory that brought back the same good feeling of the memories you built together  

But moments like that couldn’t last forever. Your heart couldn’t afford to remember.  

A text message from Sam lit up your screen, saying his contact had useful information. You stood up from the table after texting him back and drank the rest of the cup's contents. 

"You should try to get some sleep, we have a long day ahead."  

His shoulders dropped slightly.  

"Yeah, you’re right. I’ll try to."  

With nothing left to say, you walked away, leaving Bucky in the loneliness of the night.   

You didn’t go right away to the room you had adopted as your own, though. He heard you going through the kitchen, a dim sound of clinking and pouring reaching him due to his enhanced hearing. He didn't think anything of it; maybe you needed more tea before going to bed. 

Your steps brought you back to him before you placed an object on the coffee table right beside him.  

A cup of lavender tea. 

Then  

"It’s kinda late to be outside, huh?"  

Bucky jolted at the sound of your voice, your presence taking him by surprise. He was completely sure that when he left a couple of hours ago his house was empty and you hadn’t sent a message of your arrival.   

Something had happened? Was someone injured? Were you in trouble?  

His questions died on his lips as you cut the space between you and him short, your arms tightly embracing him. Your head found its place in the crook of his neck, his long hair falling on your face. His hands took a second to respond, but they eventually wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer to his chest.  

You stayed like that for what felt like ages, just taking in each other's warmth. He missed you, even if he tried to deny it every time his thoughts would wander to you. He tried to convince himself that his reclusion made him miss everyone he considered a friend, and in a world where everyone seemed to want him dead, you were one of the few people he trusted.  

He had been staying in Wakanda for nearly six months, and out of those six months, you had visited him at least once every month. The duration of your trip would vary, sometimes you would stay only a few hours, with most of your time spent in his hut while sharing stories of the outside and his progress. Other times, you'd stay for days, with the longest stay being a week and a half. In those cases, he would show you the surroundings, the forest that surrounded the back of his hut or take you on a long walk alongside the river that crossed his home. Sometimes you'd sit outside and stare at the stars, your only company being the animals and the flora. 

He also came to hate every time you would leave, feeling like a part of himself was leaving with you.  

One of his hands landed on the side of your hips, the other searching for your face.Your grip on him grew tighter once his fingers brushed the skin on your face but you eventually let go, allowing his hand to guide you slightly away from him.  

"What happened?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.  

You didn’t respond, but one look into your eyes, and he knew the answer. Whatever it was, it had affected you to the core, the broken look in your eyes could only be compared to the one he saw every time he looked at his reflection in the mirror.  

His forehead rested on yours, both your eyes closing at the contact.  

"It’s ok. I got you."  

His hand found yours as he guided you toward his bed. It wasn’t until then that he noticed you still had your tactical gear on, dirt and crystals still hiding in some places. He grabbed the buckle of your vest, his eyes asking for permission to get it off. A slight nod gave him the confirmation, beginning the process of somewhat freeing you of the events you had seen. He got rid of his own garments too, leaving you both standing in front of yourselves with only underwear covering you. He dragged you into bed, your frames covered by the light white sheets on his bed. 

Not many times had he allowed himself to think of you in a sexual manner, knowing how his body would react in a lustful way. But as he found himself looking at you with barely any clothes on, the desire was left on the back burner of his brain. You needed him. You needed his comfort, and he was more than willing to give it to you.  

He would give you anything you asked for.  

His hand rested on your face, tracing circles across your cheek, your eyes closed at the soothing action.  

"I’m sorry." Your voice trembled. He could see you wanted to say more, but words failed to come out of your mouth  

Bucky’s heart ached. He had never seen you in such a vulnerable state, and his mind was going cray at the thought of not being able to do anything to help you.  

"It’s ok, sunshine. You don’t have to talk about it."  

So you lay there, head against his chest, as he kept you between his arms, with nothing other than the sound of the crickets outside his hut surrounding you. And for the first time in a long time, you felt what being loved felt like.  

That night, you kissed him for the first time. You didn’t stop, not even the next morning when he woke you up with breakfast already made and a cup of lavender tea. 

 Now  

"Bring him to the table!" you yelled.  

Your hand swept across the surface, knocking over every piece of paper, pencil, and piece of equipment. The vibrations of the heavier objects on the concrete floors matched the beating of your heart.  

Bucky dropped Sam on the table. The man had gone unconscious on the ride to the safe house, the bullet wound that oozed liquid crimson was most likely the cause.The same crimson color now stains Bucky's clothes, and his leather gloves were also covered in a thin layer of it.  

You brought your knife to slash through his clothes, the sharp metal cutting through them as if they were butter. The hole on his shoulder seemed to have no exit, the bullet was still inside him. You were glad Sam wasn’t conscious for the next hour.  

The super soldier hovered over you for the entirety of the time you spent cleaning through the fragments that splintered from the bullet. Everything went relatively well until Sam started waking up, his body contorting in pain as you dug through his wound. Bucky brought him a bottle of vodka while you injected him with some local anesthesia.  

Hours later, the wounded man was now resting on the only bed the safehouse had, his breathing bringing great comfort as it meant he was still alive. After half a bottle of vodka and a some painkillers diluted on his IV, you were sure he wouldn’t wake up until tomorrow.  

The faucet sprayed cold water onto your palms. Your nails desperately tried to scrape away the traces of blood that still lingered in your skin, leaving red marks all across your knuckles. Dirt and dried blood were trapped underneath your fingernails, and no matter how much you tried to dig it out, it would stay right there.  

Bucky’s footsteps brought you out of your trance, the heavy sound of his combat boots felt deafening with each step he took. You tried to tune him out, focusing once again on the sound of water, but it seemed as if Bucky had made it his purpose to be as loud as possible. You held onto the sink so strongly that you were sure it would snap.  

A deep rage came from your stomach, spreading all over your body. The anger constricted your chest in such a way that you weren’t sure if somehow you were buried under a collapsed building, its weight invisibly crushing you.  

It was his fault. It was all his fault.  

You didn’t remember walking outside the bathroom, nor did you remember walking up to him and slapping away the cup of water his hand held.  

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" you barked at him.  

"I—"  

"I gave you one task. You had to wait until I gave you the signal so you could come in. Not guns blazing, not punching everyone that comes your way, not drawing everyone's attention to us. Your only fucking job was to wait for the distributor to show up and wait for my goddamn signal."  

"What did you want me to do? Just stand there and do nothing?" he argued.  

You were taken aback by his response. Part of you expected him to just let you scream at him and give you the same soft eyes he always gave you when you spoke to him.You weren't expecting him to snap back at you or to defend himself. 

Maybe if things hadn’t gone sour between you two, you would’ve listened to what he said, and in return, he would’ve listened to you. But the anger was too strong to be subdued.  

"I wanted you to follow the fucking plan."  

"He was about to torture you!"  

Bucky's thoughts returned to the old factory turned whorehouse.The way you had purposefully gotten caught and how they had tied you to an exposed pipe line. He could still hear the sound of the man’s hand smashing against your cheek.  

"I can handle myself! I told you guys to stay put until the distributor was there. He knows I’m after him, and this was our only chance to catch him. And now he’s god knows where and Sam got fucking shot."  

A heartbeat passed before Bucky came close to your face. His big frame towered over you, and his breathing hit your face.  

"You’re fucking delusional if you think I was just going to let anything happen to you."  

You scoffed, "Oh, so now you care?"  

"I’ve always cared."  

You pulled away from him, your eyes rolling at his pathetic words.  

"Sure."  

Perhaps it was the fact that you had been in danger no longer than a couple of hours ago, or maybe it was the heat of the fight that had left some residues on him. Whatever it was, it made Bucky courageous enough to reach for your arm.  

"Look at me."  

You swatted him away.  

"Don’t fucking touch me."  

But this time he wasn't going down without a fight.Not again.  

"I know I was an asshole at the end of our relationship, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you anymore."  

A bitter laugh came out of you. All of this had to be some sick joke. "When you care about someone, you don’t treat them like that. You didn’t care about me, and you sure as hell didn’t love me."  

His hand tried to touch you again, and this time you let him. You were tired. Tired of fighting with him. You closed your eyes as soon as his skin came in contact with yours, his touch consuming all of your senses.  

You opened your eyes to find him staring back at you, the blue eyes that once hurt you shining the same way they did the first time you kissed him.  

"I did love you," he whispered into your lips. "I still do."  

His words burned you like someone had branded you with hot iron in the chest.Even after all this time, he could still hurt you, Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? Why did he have to bring back the past you so fiercely tried to leave behind?  

"Don’t." Your lower lip quivered. "Y-you can't just break my heart and then come back into my life and just say you still love me."  

"I never stopped loving you."  

Those five words were all it took to tear down what little control you had over yourself. A year ago it would've broken you to hear them but now they only brought a deep sense of indignation. 

With a quick move, you pulled his hand away from you, your hands pushing against his chest until he hit the wall. You wanted him to hurt. You wanted to carve his heart out of his ribcage and throw it far away, maybe then he would understand what it felt like.  

"Where was your love when I needed it, huh? Where was your love when I had no one else? Where was your love when I reached for you every night but you were already gone? Where was your love when I begged you to love me, to be there for me?" Your hands were clutching his jacket, and your vision was blurred by tears."Where the fuck was your love when you brought that girl to your apartment?"  

Bucky never saw you like this, not even when he stomped on your heart with his indifference. Under the anger, the hate, and the surface indifference you showed him, he could see how broken you were. He could see how you were constantly struggling to put the pieces of yourself back together that he had torn apart. 

He hated himself for extinguishing parts of you. 

"I’m sorry."  

A lapse of judgment.  

That’s what you would tell anyone who asked you why you kissed Bucky that night. You would say that you had been blinded by the pure rage his mere presence would bring you. Or perhaps you would take the easy route and you would say that with everything that happened that night, almost being tortured and Sam getting hurt, you had acted in a primitive instict of searching comfort.  

The truth was different. You could lie to yourself and say that you didn’t needed Bucky, not after all the things he had done. You lied to yourself constantly when you told yourself you were over him. You also lied to yourself when you claimed that your one-night stands had fulfilled you in the same way that Bucky had. 

You couldn’t feel anything, not ever since you walked out of his apartment. You had tried different people, different cities. You had tried different alcohols and different drugs. You had tried anything that could help you fill the emptiness that had found a permanent home inside you. You felt nothing, not until you saw those cerulean eyes again.  

Your kiss was aggressive, your lips smashing against his with strength and your hands finding their place in the back of his head. It took a second for Bucky to kiss you back as he thought his mind was playing tricks with him. But after you pressed yourself against his chest, his body reacted on muscle memory alone, his arms surrounding your waist.  

It wasn’t what you expected, though. You thought that the specks of love that remained between you would be enough to bring back whatever it was that you were missing. Instead, you were met with the most intense hatred you've ever felt, mixed with the melancholy of what could've been. 

He tasted like the past, but he still hurt like the present.  

So you made a decision.If you couldn't bring yourself to love Bucky Barnes anymore, you would hate him with all that remained of your soul. You would hate him until both of you burned in the flames of your agony. You'd despise him until you'd ripped every part that matched the ones he'd so easily broken. 

"I hate you," you whispered between kisses. "I fucking hate you."  

Your words were daggers to his heart. His chest tightened, and his grip on you faltered for a second before he snapped out of it. This wasn’t about him. If you needed to tell him how much you despised him, he would gladly let you kill him with your words. It was the least you deserved.  

"I know," he mumbled against your lips.  

He felt your body guiding him through the room until the back of his legs hit against the couch where he would sleep. Your hands pushed against his chest, making him sit on the couch while you straddled his lap.  

Clothes flew across the room, and you found yourself tearing his shirt apart in two while he only pulled yours off.You'd worry about that later; right now, nothing was more important than feeling your skin against his. 

Your hands traveled over his chest, fingers grazing every part of his abdomen as you trailed down to his zipper. You palmed him over his jeans, his cock already hard, and you felt it twitch against the fabric with every touch you gave him. Groans left Bucky’s lips.  

"I hate you," you repeated as a mantra.  

He shouldn’t make you feel this way, but as you see his head going back when your hand opened his fly and found it’s place around his cock you felt your own desire pooling in your lower belly and the aching in your core became unbearable.  

With swift movements, Bucky got rid of his pants and his underwear while you remained on top of him. With your frame still covered by a black lace bra and your black tactical pants on, he couldn't help but feel exposed when he looked at you.Deciding he didn’t wanted to be the only one naked his hands went to the side of your hips in efforts to get you rid of the fabric but your hand swatted him away.  

Beg me, your eyes said.  

For a moment, he considered tearing your pants apart the same way you had done with his shirt. However, the seriousness behind your eyes warned him that he might end things too soon if his stubbornness got in the way. So he gave in.  

"Please, Sunshine." His hands gripped your waist, his hips grinding against your still-wrapped core, sending shivers down your spine."Please, let me see you."  

You relented, unbuttoning your pants and throwing them away with your panties. In what were the longest seconds of Bucky’s life, you unclasped your bra, finally getting rid of the last barrier your body held on to.  

You stood there, completely naked, staring at Bucky.He remembered the way your breasts felt when he held them. He remembered how soft your skin was. He remembered that if he bit on the skin of your neck, right where the jugular is, you would clench around him. He remembered. In the lonely nights when he needed some release, he would close his eyes and imagine your lips around his cock as he fisted himself in the solitude of his apartment. 

All those memories didn’t compare to watching you in the flesh, with hungry, hateful eyes on him as you walked back to straddle him again.  

His cock twitched once your legs fell to his sides, the heat of your body settling on his crotch. You sat on top of him, your wetness welcoming him once you lowered yourself. His length placed itself right between your lips, and a groan left him.  

"Fuck."  

Your hips began rocking in slow but sharp motions as he felt his cock coated with your slick. Slowly, you built up a rhythm that made both of you moan. His hands landed again on your hips, his fingers pressing on your skin in a way that was certain to leave bruises the next day. Your own hands gripped on Bucky’s biceps for stability, and you squeezed them every time you would feel him brushing against your clit.  

You felt amazing on top of him, but that wasn’t what made his heart pound against his chest.  

It was your eyes. Your eyes never left him, no matter how much pleasure you were pulling from both of you and how badly you wanted to roll your eyes as the coil inside of you tightened. Your eyes, which once showed him what love could look like, now looked at him with a simmering hatred he could not shake.  

His chest tightened at the thought of never seeing them again. The electricity that ran through his body was replaced by a deep sense of hopelessness, and the more he kept his gaze on you, the more it amplified. You must’ve sensed the change in him because your movements stopped.  

Broken eyes now stared at you with the ghost of tears in them. The anger that had driven your actions and your thoughts through all this had now subsided, allowing itself to mix with melancholy.   

I love you. I’m sorry. I miss you. His eyes said.  

I hate you. I’ll never forgive you. I wish I never met you. Yours answered.  

And in the middle of the lust that was taking place right on the couch, both of your hearts broke again.  

You pulled him back for a kiss that tasted of desperation and sorrow as tears fell from both your eyes. The saltiness of the tears bled into the kiss and mixed with it.Quickly, your hand guided his tip to your entrance. You needed him inside you like a person lost in the desert needs water. You craved him with every cell in your body, and it tore your heart apart.  

"So tight." He moaned in your mouth as you sank into him.  

The stretch of his length burned as you forced yourself to take him fully. It hurt, and even with your arousal completely covering him, you weren't prepared to take his thick length.You didn’t care though, you hoped it would make you forget your heartbreak. Bucky tried to stop you as he felt you struggling to take him in. His hands held your waist, but you shook your head before you started bouncing on him.  

You didn’t want love from him. You didn’t want tenderness or care. You wanted roughness. You wanted strength and aggressiveness until the only thing you could feel was the ache between your legs.  

The super soldier gave you what you wanted.  

Bucky’s pace was brutal, his cock hitting the sweet spot only he could reach. The sound of his hips colliding with yours filled the room, bouncing off the walls and echoing through the hallway outside.In the back of his mind, Bucky was thankful Sam was knocked out with meds so he could be spared from the obscene orchestra your bodies played.  

The pain quickly turned into pleasure. Your walls hugged him tightly, each thrust carried a strength that left you breathless. At some point your legs had given in, the only reason why you kept bouncing was the snap of his hips pushing you. He didn’t let go of you though, instead he pushed you against his chest in an embrace that surrounded you tightly.  

Your head rested against his while your hands stayed on his chest. The sadness that mixed with the pleasure numbed everything else except for the bubbling up of your release. It pained you to admit that no one else could make you feel like Bucky, you had tried to find someone who could replicate what his touch could do for you, but no one ever came close.  

You hated how much you missed him and how much you needed him.  

"I wish you would’ve stayed dead." you panted. The poison behind your words shredded his heart. He knew you were saying it to hurt him, he knew you didn’t mean it, but the conviction behind it felt like a kick in the chest. "I wish we never brought you back."  

"Me too." he finally admitted.  

Bucky felt your walls constrict around him, and he could tell you were close. He drew you in for one last kiss, the kind that took your breath away. The type of kiss that was a solace in a world of agony. The type of kiss that meant a promise that carried forever.  

You tightened around him as you came, and his thrusts slowed down as he rode you through your high. As you closed your eyes, more tears fell from the corners, so he reached out to wipe them away.Once you had recovered a little, his brutal pace came back, this time chasing his own release. You brought your lips to kiss his neck, feathery, soft kisses, and he felt his balls tightening. He was so close.  

He tried to pull out so he could fist himself to the end but you didn’t budge, instead whispering in his ear.  

"Inside."  

He came harder than he had done in the last year. You felt his cock twitching inside as he covered your walls with his cum, the mess between your release and his own dripping out of you. You kept bouncing on top of him, making sure to return the favor by guiding him all the way through the end.  

You stood up, the feeling of emptiness making you shudder when his cock left you, and his cum started leaking out of you. You turned to go find something to clean yourself up, but his metal hand stopped you. He guided you back to the couch before he walked towards the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came back with a towel, and he positioned himself right between your legs.  

He cleaned you up just like he had done for so many years before.His other hand caressed your thigh as he made sure to wipe everything. And just as he always did for years, once he finished, he kissed your inner thigh, a couple of inches away from your pussy.  

Bucky threw the towel to the floor, he would worry about it in the morning.As for right now, the only thing he wanted was to hold you close. So he did. He thanked the couch was big enough to fit you both as you layed together. He pulled the blanket he used to warm himself every night over you, and his arm surrounded your waist, his grip making your back settle against his front. His left hand traced lazy circles over your stomach while the other was used as your pillow.  

For a few seconds, both of you allowed yourselves to reminisce in the past. He kissed the top of your head as you snuggled against him like you usually did. And as you felt his warmth behind you and inhaled his scent, everything seemed to be alright once again.  

Except they weren’t. Bucky wasn’t the man who made you feel secure anymore, and you weren’t the woman who trusted him with all her heart. Both of them belonged to the past.  

"I don’t love you anymore. I will never love you again." you broke the silence.  

Bucky held you tighter as his heart broke once again.  

"I don’t deserve your love." He whispered. "But I’ll still love you forever." 

Then  

Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy.   

It wasn’t all bad, though. For many years you had been together, three and a half to be exact, where you could imagine a life with. Three years where there was no one you trusted more or preferred to be with.Three years that were the happiest of your life.  

Those were a few of the reasons why he had asked you to marry him. And those were also a few of the reasons why you had said yes.  

You had told yourself at the beginning that you couldn’t get attached to him for the safety of your heart. It didn’t matter that his touch felt like home or that during the times you spent apart, his eyes would be the only comfort you would find in your dreams. He would bring more heartbreak than love.  

Oh, how right you had been.  

Unfortunately for you, the heartbreak would come in a way you couldn’t have prevented.  

The snap came and took him away from you. One second he was standing next to you, the next he was turning into dust that flew into the wind. The last thing he had said was your name and after that half the population was gone.  

The years went by in a blur. Between nights filled with drugs and alcohol and days spent cramped up in your apartment, you were wallowing in the type of sadness that the rest of the population could understand. You kept your ring in your finger, it reminding you that what your memories craved for were real.  

Bucky had been real.  

With his departure, he had also taken your heart. 

After a particularly bad night where you crashed your vehicle into a contention bar, Tony had taken it upon himself to help you, offering you a home close to his secluded one. You took it, not because you wanted to get better but because you wanted solitude. But if life had taught you anything about Tony Stark, it was that he was as stubborn as they come.  

Every morning he would bring you breakfast along with a visit from a certain little baby that always wanted to be held by you, and sometimes she would be able to bring a small smile to your face. With time, the little baby turned into a little girl that would ask for a sleepover every once in a while, and you would gladly accept the offer to allow Tony and Pepper a night alone.  

Things got better. You visited Steve and Natasha at the compound and even allowed yourself to go in missions of your own, as it turned out not even The Snap could make criminals take a break. You even went to one of Steve’s depressing support group meetings, never returning for the next one.  

You couldn’t be strong all the time, though. Some nights, when the pain was so strong that it drowned you and the grief was too powerful to keep at bay, you would find yourself staring at the hundreds of pictures you had taken of him. Most of them were of you together, but there were a few you took when he wasn’t looking. The sunset behind him as he breathed in the clean air of Wakanda, or the small smile on his face as he tasted the food he cooked for you both.Even when he was reading some of the books he kept under his bed and a few wrinkles would show on his forehead as his whole focus remained in the text, he always looked beautiful.  

With time, everything felt like a routine. Waking up alone, eating alone, going outside alone. Sleeping alone. Everything seemed to be stable, not good or bad, but just stable. You were sure this was the best you could do, or at least the best it could get.  

That is, until a ray of hope appeared. 

Time travel was the answer. Taken as a whole, it seemed like something out of a science fiction film, but it made sense.Bring the stones back and along with them everyone that had died. Surprisingly, it had worked, everyone that had been snapped away came back just as they had left. It should have been a moment of joy. It should've.  

The thing about hope is that it comes with a price. Natasha and Tony were the price to pay.  

Steve left shortly after.  

You understood him. You understood why he left everything and everyone behind to go live a life with the woman he had always loved. You would be a liar if you said you wouldn’t have done the same if you were in his position. You understood why he did it but it still hurt to know you weren’t enough of a reason to stay and live a life together.  

It seemed like you were on a streak of losing people. Wherever you turned, more people kept leaving your life. Wanda was gone, turned into the madness that grief could bring. Thor left to save other planets that needed him. Bruce... well, you weren’t sure where Bruce was, but he didn’t try to contact you.   

Everyone was gone but Sam and Bucky.  

Bucky. Your Bucky. The man you had spent the past five years crying for. The man who made you the happiest you'd ever felt.The man who felt like home.  

But he wasn't your Bucky any longer. 

This Bucky didn’t kiss you with the same tenderness he did so many years ago. Instead, he'd barely move his lips once yours touched his in what you'd call a mediocre peck.He also never initiated a kiss, it was you who always reached out for him.  

This Bucky didn’t held you at night. Instead, he'd turn around, his back to you, and even if you reached for him between dreams, he'd guide your hand back to your side of the bed.Some nights, he would even choose to sleep on the floor of the living room when he thought you were asleep. It was as if the thought of touching you seemed appalling to him.  

This Bucky never hugged you. 

This Bucky never talked to you with love  only with annoyance and indifference.  

This Bucky never woke you up with breakfast.  

This Bucky never tried to sleep with you.  

This Bucky never said I love you.  

Because this Bucky didn’t love you.  

But you held hope, foolishly. Every day you tried to talk to him, show him in every possible way that you were still here with him. Every day you tried to make things better between you, you poured your heart and soul to try to fix what you didn’t even know was broken.  

Things got worse a couple of months later.   

As it turned out, time had taken a toll on Steve’s body, and one night he went to bed and never woke up. You found it a bit ironic the man out of time had finally run out of time.  

His funeral was held on a sunny spring afternoon. People from all over the world showed up to say their final goodbyes to the man who had saved the world so many times. Friends, people he had saved, and heroes paid their respects to him. The first super soldier had finally been put to rest.  

After everyone had cleared out, you went back to drop one last token for his departure. It was a picture of the both of you. Steve’s arm hung over your shoulders while both of you held a couple of beers. It had been the first time you had seen Steve outside of work related situations. That was the beginning of your friendship.  

As you got back to his tombstone, you saw Bucky standing in front of it. His eyes were void of any expression, and he didn’t seem to be talking to Steve’s grave either. Bucky was just there, staring at the place where his best friend was buried.  

He didn’t seem to notice when you stood next to him, nothing in his body gave any signs of acknowledgement. You gave him a couple of minutes before you reached for his hand. You knew that, even if he didn’t show it, he was in great pain. He had lost his last connection to the life he had once lived.  

You wanted to be there to help him through his pain.  

The contact only lasted a few seconds. Your touch surprised him, as he had jolted once your skin grazed his own. He turned his head to the side to give you a glare that you’ve never seen before. His eyes had been filled with pain, as you guessed, but they also carried hatred and disdain. He must’ve seen your expression, because a second later his eyes changed to a neutral expression.  

"What are you doing here?" he muttered.  

The shock of his stare lingered in you for a moment, but you quickly returned to yourself, a friendly smile on your face."I came to leave a little parting gift."  

He hummed in acknowledgement, not sparing another glance at you as you put the photograph against the headstone, right in between the dozens of flowers that decorated it. Both of you stayed silent after that, the sounds of the birds and the faint rumbling of cars were the only sounds keeping you company. It was peaceful. It was good. Just the two of you enjoying a moment's calmness in silence. 

For a few moments, you felt comfortable next to him. The first time in months since he came back. But good moments like that never lasted long.  

Without notice, he turned around. Long, desperate strides guided him towards the exit of the graveyard. He wanted to create distance between you and him, find somewhere that was as far away from you as he could be. You felt how you were losing him.  

But you fought for him, even when he seemed to not deserve it.  

"Bucky." You called for him. He stopped in his tracks, but he didn’t turn around, so you took that as a sign to keep going. "I know you’re hurting right now, I am too, but I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you."  

He didn’t answer for a few seconds, and you thought you had made a breakthrough. Maybe this was the time when things went uphill. This was the little push he needed to start healing and perhaps to try to rebuild the bridges that had burned. This was the little thread of hope you'd hung up on.  

You were wrong.  

"You have no idea how I feel," he said before leaving.  

That night you came back to your cabin, and Bucky’s things were gone. The only thing left was a note that rested in the middle of the bed.  

I found an apartment in the city. I need space.  

You didn’t see him for a couple of months after that. You considered tracking him down but ultimately gave up as he had asked for space. He needed time on his own, and you could give it to him. You would give him anything he asked for.  

You kept your word until Strange came to visit you, announcing news about Wanda. She was dead.  

You barely remembered tracking down his address or making your way there. It wasn’t until you were facing his door that you realized what you had done. He asked for space but in that moment, you couldn’t give it to him. You needed your Bucky.  

Knock, knock, knock.  

It was late in the night, and you could hear the TV going on in the living room. He had to be home. After a few minutes without an answer, you knocked again, but the only thing that welcomed you was silence.  

"Bucky," you called. Your voice was broken, you tried to fight the tears away, but saying his name broke what little self-control you had left. "Please open the door."  

You rested your forehead against the door, finally allowing yourself to feel everything you had been pushing back ever since the fight with Thanos. Pain, grief, loneliness, hatred, sadness, despair. A cocktail of emotions ran through you in an overwhelming way and seemed to want to drown you.  

"I know you’re in there." You cried. The tears that ran down your face landed on the floor. "I just— I know I said I could be strong for the both of us, but... I need you."  

You knocked on the door again, this time with the side of your fist. The desperate sound of your knocking bounced through the walls of the deserted hallway.  

"Please Bucky, please open the door. Wanda is dead." Your own cries stopped you from talking, the hole in your chest seemed to get bigger and bigger with each passing second. "Nat, Tony, Steve, Wanda. All of them are dead, and I—I can’t. I can’t keep losing people. I can’t lose you."  

You couldn’t do this alone, not anymore. Your heart couldn’t take it anymore.  

"I love you. God, I love you so much. I know you want space, but right now I need your love, Bucky. I need you to love me like you used to. Please love me." You begged.  

And you waited. You waited for what seemed like hours, but it probably was just thirty minutes until you accepted he wasn’t coming out.  

 You left with half a heart that night.  

Two weeks later, you came back to his apartment, ready to demand an explanation. Your love for him was strong, but you needed him to talk to you. You were ready to fight for your future. You were ready to fight for your love.  

"Bucky!" you yelled as you knocked aggressively. "Bucky, open the fucking door!"  

The door didn’t take long to open. It surprised you, your confidence and anger faltered for a second. This was a sign, perhaps it was him being ready to fight for you too. This was him showing you he still loved you.  

Except the person who opened the door wasn’t Bucky.  

It was a girl. A short brunette that was covered by Bucky’s black T-shirt and nothing more.  

"Hi."  

You wanted to scream. You wanted to burst into tears. You wanted to burn the world and leave everything behind. You wanted to die. But the only thing you could do was stay there and stare at the girl.  

"Umm, Bucky is not here." She said awkwardly, your intense stared made her uncomfortable.  

"Do you know where he is?" You questioned her. The words came out rougher than you intended, but as the heartbreak and despair set in, you couldn't care less. 

"No. I, um, when I woke up he was already gone." She pulled the hem of the t-shirt down in an effort to convey her nervousness, but it only infuriated you more. "Are you a friend of his?"  

You wanted to laugh. God, this couldn’t be happening.  

"Yeah, of sorts."  

"I can let you in so we can wait for him, but I have to leave in like twenty minutes."  

"You can’t call him?" you asked, bitterly. You knew Bucky had gotten a new phone but he never gave you his number.  

Her face blushed before she answered. "No, uh. We met last night, and he didn’t give me his number.  

"Oh."  

You didn’t know what would be worse, if he had seen this girl ever since he left your cabin or the fact that he had a one night stand with a random girl. It didn’t matter, though, Bucky Barnes had crushed your heart.  

The girl, whose name was Clara, kept her word, leaving minutes later as she had to go to work. She seemed like a nice girl who had no idea the man she had slept with was engaged. And perhaps in another world you would’ve been nicer to her if your heart hadn’t collapsed in on itself when she opened the door. Maybe she was a little naïve, as she let you stay inside the apartment so you could wait on Bucky. She had also asked you to give him her number, the digits scribbled on a piece of paper.  

You broke down the moment she closed the door behind her. You thought of trashing the place, breaking every piece of furniture he owned, and burning all his clothes in a pit in the middle of his living room. You imagined yourself hurling the stupid leather jacket he seemed to be fond of lately.You also thought about settling for burning everything to the crisp, wanting to see the look on his eyes once he saw his apartment consumed by flames.  

You didn’t do any of those things, though; instead, you waited. This time, hours actually went by, the once bright morning turned into the darkness of the night, and you never moved from your spot on the couch, not even to turn on the lights.  

Bucky came back to his apartment around 11 p.m. When he noticed the apartments' lack of lightning, he felt relieved not to have to deal with the girl he had taken home the night before. By the looks of it, she left a while ago.  

He turned on the light before taking of his jacket, placing it on the coat hanger next to the door.As he walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, he tossed his keys on the counter.He had to change the sheets on his bed and do laundry tomorrow. The glass was half full when a voice behind him spoke.  

"You have a nice place here."  

The glass dropped from his hands into the kitchen sink. His head snapped quickly towards you, finding you seated in the middle of his couch. He turned off the sink, before making his way toward you. You couldn’t be here, not today of all days.  

"How the hell did you get in here?" he barked.  

He didn’t mean it like that, not in the way it sounded. He wasn’t angry at you being inside his apartment, he was scared. Scared that you had arrived at the wrong time and seen something you weren’t meant to see.  

He finally stood in front of you and saw it. Your nose was slightly puffy and red, like you had been crying for some time. Your shoulders were slumped, defeat washing over your posture. But the thing that hurt the most to see was the pain behind your eyes. It wasn’t the normal type of pain of loss or grief as you had experienced these past months. No, it was something else.  

It was the pain of heartbreak and betrayal.  

It couldn’t be.  

You couldn't have been here when she was still in his house. There was no way, life could not hate him this way. It had to be something else that broke your heart, he had hurt you many times this past couple of months, and today was probably the day it all crashed down. It had to be that.  

"Clara let me in."  

No.  

"Nice girl, she left her number for you."  

You knew, you had seen the girl who was apparently named Clara, he didn’t really remember it. Bucky knew he had to do something, anything that could save your relationship. Perhaps if he begged you not to leave him, to let him explain everything that had been going on with him, and if he spent the rest of his days making it up to you, then you would stay. Maybe you could forgive him.  

He didn’t do any of that, though. The same thoughtless attitude washed over him like it had done ever since he came back. It was as if his brain forced him to act this way in order to protect his own heart in the long run. 

Instead of doing everything he could to fix this, he shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.  

"How long?" you asked. Bucky could see your eyes watering as you tried to keep yourself together. He hated himself. "How long have you been cheating on me?"  

His mouth answered without his permission.  

"Does it even matter?"  

Maybe he was right. Maybe it the answer wouldn’t change the way you were feeling; if anything, it was bound to hurt you more. But a part of you wanted to know the truth, to extinguish the other half of your heart.  

You didn’t budge, so Bucky finally answered, not before rolling his eyes. "She’s the only one. I met her yesterday in a bar. "He shrugged. "It just happened."  

You knew the answer, yet it still hit you with the force of a thousand bricks. He admitted it. He fucking admitted it and he didn’t even show a single morsel of remorse. There weren't any apologies or begs, no promises, or big romantic and sorrowful speeches. You could feel your own love being smothered, the flames that had once brought so much warmth to your soul were replaced by cold and emptiness.  

Bucky Barnes didn’t love you anymore. 

Now  

Bruises covered your body as well as new injuries that would probably give you more scars. Dirt and blood slid down the drain, exhaustion settling in as your muscles relaxed. The droplets of water fell against your body, washing away everything that had happened today.  

You found the intel, you knew every single name of everyone involved with the heinous experiments you were chasing.  

You had almost died, one of the guys Bucky and you had cornered, had a bomb attached to his chest. You tried to stop him, your gun pointing at his head, but you were too slow. The explosion shook the entire structure, causing a chain collapse of the floors around you. 

Bucky had jumped to protect you, his body acting as a human shield, deflecting some of the impact.His flesh arm had a large metal piece embedded in it, as well as some burns on his back. The explosion had knocked you both out of the air, and the resulting wave had thrown you both across the room. 

As you tried to shake away the confusion and the ringing from your ears, you felt his hand find its place along your face and travel to your stomach. As he scanned you, blue eyes looked at you with fogginess but also deep concern. 

"You ok?" he had whispered.  

You nodded, but your mind was still fuzzy, perhaps you had hit your head, but you couldn’t remember much.  

But you remembered the desperation. You remembered everything crumbling apart as you tried to make your way to the exit. You remembered Sam’s voice screaming through your earpieces to get the fuck out of there. You remembered Bucky's hand always keeping you safe, guiding you through the clouds of cement and smoke.  

You also remembered how Bucky’s steps faltered before collapsing. Neither of you had noticed he had a second piece of metal scrap buried between his ribs. If he had removed it, his enhanced healing would have taken care of it, but the extenuating movements had caused damage to his lungs, bleeding, and a lack of oxygen, causing him to pass out. 

You remembered screaming for Sam’s help, begging him to help you save Bucky. You remembered the tears falling from your eyes as you tried to pull Bucky to safety, begging him not to die, begging him to wake up. You remembered the fire catching up to you, it’s warmth burning your skin. You wanted to kill Bucky, you would be happy if you never seen his face again, dance on top of his grave as you celebrated the end of his existance.  

Then why were you fighting so hard to save him?  

"Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. You can’t do this to me!"  

"Bucky wake the fuck up!"  

"Please! I can’t lose you like this!"  

Fortunately, Sam came for you, him and all his Captain America glory had saved both of you, his wings protecting all three of you as you carried Bucky outside. You had barely gone a few steps ahead when the building finally set one last explosion, ending with everything on it's way.All three of you landed on the floor with a thud as the shock wave reached you.  

You focused your attention on Bucky's wound, which was already healing, but his lack of response worried you.His breathing was barely existent, and his heartbeat was decreasing. You had straddled his lap and began performing CPR on him while asking Sam to go fetch the adrenaline shot you stored in the vehicle. You had punctured Bucky's chest with it, and after a few seconds, he had woken up.  

You remembered clinging to him as he tried to sit straight, the desperation finally gone from your body.  

The body behind you wrapped his hands along your waist, pulling you out of your memories and spreading the soap he had covered you with. Bucky's fingers traced all the way down your body, removing every trace of stress. 

After everything happened, Sam told you to go back to the safehouse while he met with Joaquin to try and start locating people with the intel you had gathered. You thought about fighting him, but one look at Bucky and any fight you had left was done.  

A knowing look from Sam told you this wasn’t just to let both of you rest and get cleaned up. It was a second chance.  A second chance at the talk you had avoided to had with Bucky ever since that night you slept together.  

You drove back to the safehouse, and once you had gotten inside, everything crumbled apart inside of you. As you reached out to Bucky, your tears had fallen, your hand lingering in his fleshy arm, right where his wound was.His hand cupped your face, his thumb tracing the stream of blood that fell from your eyebrow. In the silence of the room, no words were exchanged, but both your hearts understood.  

Just for today, you would allow yourselves to comfort each other.  

His lips peppered kisses along your shoulder as he cleaned you, his lips sometimes finding your neck or your lips when you would press yourself against him. As you spread the shampoo over his head, your fingers massaged his scalp with the tenderness he had missed, his eyes closing every time you hit the right spot. 

After drying yourselves and changing into new clothes, you both layed on the bed, covered over the head with the thin white sheet you had. You faced each other, blue eyes meeting yours. Your fingers found his face as you traced along every crevice and line you hadn’t seen before. Bucky appeared to have aged years in the time you hadn't seen him, but he remained as beautiful as ever. 

Your heart ached in your chest, and you couldn’t fight it anymore. You had denied yourself the other feelings that remained inside of you other than hate and betrayal, but today, as death seemed to call for both of you, it was clear you didn’t want Bucky Barnes to die. A part of you hated him so deeply you weren’t sure you would be able to stop, but no matter how strong the hatred was, you were sure a part of you still loved him.  

However, that part of you was broken. Battered and bruised to death by his own doing but it was still there. It was locked inside the thousand-foot wall you had built around it to keep it safe. Refusing to ask questions, refusing to talk to him, and refusing to admit the pain you were in. But in doing so you hadn’t given yourself the opportunity to heal. To move on.  

So you allowed yourself to feel and to talk. For both your sake and his. 

"Why did you do it?" you broke the silence. His breathing faltered as your hand retracted back to your side. "Why did you hurt me like that?"  

Bucky struggled to find the right words. You were asking him the same question he had asked himself for many, many nights. He asked himself that question when he wouldn’t reach for you at night. He asked himself that question when he didn’t open the door for you.  

He asked himself that question when you walked out of his life.  

You deserved the truth. The whole, unapologetic, heartfelt truth. So he gave it to you.  

"The first time I came back to myself, after fighting Steve in the helicarrier, I realized the world had moved on without me. My plans, my family, and the people I knew were all left in the past. They all moved on without me, everyone was gone except for Steve. I had a plan, after the war I would go back and find myself a beautiful girl to marry." A sad smile posed on his lips as he reminisced. "I wanted the white picket fence and three kids package. Cookouts with my family and friends while I was still a war hero. But all of that was gone the moment I woke up in a time that wasn’t mine. My dreams were gone."  

He paused before reaching for your face, his eyes closing before opening again, tears streaming down his cheeks."Ever since I woke up, I was a man drifting in a time that wasn’t mine, in a life that wasn’t mine. I didn’t have any dreams, or aspirations other than to survive and perhaps discover the truth. Nothing made sense to me, not until I met you." His thumb wiped away the tears you didn’t know they were falling. "You were the very first person, aside from Steve, that was kind to me. You talked to me, listened to what I had to say. You showed me what this new world was about, how to survive in it, and above all, you never doubted my innocence. It wasn’t because you knew me like Steve did, or because he had asked you as a favor. You were my friend, the very first I made when I was lost. And along the way, you turned into more, you were my new dream. I fell in love with you, and suddenly it didn’t matter that I wasn’t supposed to be here, or what it could’ve been because with you, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere."  

A sob escaped you, his words burning your heart, branding them with the love you once felt for him. The heartbreak and the pain came once again, but it felt different. It was comforting in a way that scared you, terrified you. You knew he had loved you once, but you had stored those memories far away where they couldn’t hurt you. Because it was easier to tell yourself that Bucky had never actually loved you than to think he had loved you and had still betrayed you.  

"But no matter how much time passed or how loved or comfortable I felt, I was still scared. I was terrified. Terrified of the same thing happening again. Every day, I'd tell myself, 'Something is going to happen, something is going to take me away from you, and when I come back, another hundred years will have passed.' And it did happen. When Thanos snapped me away, I came back, and to me only seconds had passed, but for you it was five years. Everything had changed again, even you. There was this sadness that seemed to have nested behind your eyes every time you looked at me. And every time I looked at you, I could see how much you had suffered because of me, it was my fault, and I couldn’t do anything about it."  

"It wasn’t your fault." You tried to argue, but his words interrupted you.  

"I felt like it was. I felt like I must’ve had some sort of curse that would always take me away from what made me the happiest, and in return, I would hurt everyone around me with it. I had died once again and the world kept going, once again. And I tried really hard to fight those thoughts, but it was as if a cloud of darkness would whisper to me that I didn't belong here anymore.That everything had changed once again, and it would happen again and again and again until I finally died. And I didn't know what to do; it was as if this voice was drowning me, washing away every ounce of happiness I had left inside me until all that remained was anger and resentment." 

His voice had broken, as had his ability to hold back the tears.He had buried this for so long, too embarrassed to say them aloud, to admit how he had messed up everything because he was afraid.He wasn’t the man who had sworn to protect you against everything, he was a coward. A coward who had let his own fear hurt you in ways he could never fix.  

"I’m sorry. I’m so sorry." Bucky kissed your forehead. "You didn’t deserve any of what I did to you, and I don’t think I could ever forgive myself for doing that. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, I’m sorry I pushed you away when all you did was trying to help me. I’m sorry I slept with someone else. I'm sorry I messed everything up because the truth is, you have been the best thing that has ever happened to me, past and present, and if I had to go through all of the pain, torture, and heartbreak all over again just to meet you, I would." 

You stayed there in silence for minutes. Neither of you dared say anything else that would break the silence. Both your hearts had been through a lot today, from the threats of death to the realizations of love and pain that had been confessed. But amongst the suffering and the torment, both of your hearts began to heal, and the pieces that had been ripped apart came back to where they belonged.  

You took his hands into yours, your lips kissing his knuckles. "I don’t know if I could ever forgive you for what you did." Bucky’s eyes closed in ache, he knew it was a possibility, but it still hurt to know there was no hope, but your words stopped him from spiraling. "But I would like to try."  

Hope. A tiny silver of hope. 

"Do you think there is a chance for us in the future?"  

You considered it. Your mind and your heart still pulling towards different directions but none of them letting you decide. Would you be willing to risk your heart once again for Bucky Barnes, or has the damage been too great to be fixed and covered? "I don’t know."  

"That’s ok. I'm not going to ask about it again unless you want me to." 

He kissed you one last time. His lips still had a subtle taste of smoke and burned, but above it was something overpowering, something both of you felt as he deepened the kiss. You both tasted redemption and forgiveness. 

Forever 

"Thanks for helping me."  

"Don’t thank me, I’m only doing it for the beer."  

Bucky and you chuckled at his poor attempt at a joke, your footsteps echoing in the half-empty apartment. A couple of seconds later, your mattress landed with a loud thud in your bedroom, making you happy to be finally done. You threw yourself on the bed, Bucky following you close behind, his heaviness bouncing you off. You turned to your side, resting your head on your hand, and he replicated your pose.  

It had been a year and a half since you decided to bring Bucky back into your life, and things had changed dramatically since then.You stopped doing solo missions and moved to New York, where you split your time between assisting Sam and Bucky with their shenanigans and volunteering at the woman's shelter Sam had connected you with. 

In the beginning, it was difficult to adapt to a tamer lifestyle than the one you had lived in the past year, but listening to all those women, the things they had been through, showed you that sometimes the thing people need to start healing is to have someone along the way.  

Bucky and you had become friends, just as you had been when you first met. It took time to get back to the beginning, but soon you found out how much you needed him as a friend, not a lover or a soulmate but just someone with whom you could talk. And, over the course of the many nights you spent talking, forgiveness found its way into your heart.You didn’t forget the past between both of you, but along the way there was understanding and care.  

"How was your date?"  

You shrug. "It was ok, not that great to be honest." 

During this time you had gone on a couple of dates, even went out with a guy for a couple of months, and since you and Bucky were ‘just friends’ you thought it would be uncomfortable to talk to him about them. But he had developed a habit of surprising you, and as it turned out, he was okay with it. When you asked why he was okay with it, his response surprised you. 

"I love you, I’ll always love you. But if you need me as a friend and nothing more, then I’ll be your friend."  

Your heart was still reluctant about him, after all, pain is a thing you can hardly forget. That had been the reason why you had tried to find someone else. Someone who could make you laugh as hard as he did, someone who could make you blush with just a cocky smile, someone who could calm you down and make everything better by simply holding you close at night.Someone who could make you happy. But all of them failed, because they weren’t Bucky Barnes.  

No one ever compared to Bucky Barnes, because after all the lies, heartbreak, and death surrounding you, he was still the only person who felt like home.  

Blue eyes stared at you and all you could feel was your heart racing. He was the man you had once loved and he had betrayed you, but time had mended your heart. The part of you that hated him was gone, and instead the love you felt for him came back, maybe not as strong as it once was but it didn’t matter. Your love was willing to build itself up, your love was willing to let him in one last time.  

"Ask me" you uttered. Your voice was so quiet that you thought he wouldn't hear you, but his puzzled expression told you otherwise. 

"What?"  

Your hand grabbed his, your thumb was drawing circles on his skin.  

"Bucky, ask me."  

Bucky’s heart stopped. A part of him had always told him that you would never want him back, and he couldn't blame you. He had hurt you in so many ways that he could never forgive himself. He had been sure the best he could have from you was friendship, and he had made his peace with it. Having you as only a friend was better than not having you at all.  

But you were giving him an opportunity, and he would be damned if he didn’t take it.  

"Would you—" he paused, clearing his throat.The nervousness inside him erased his ability to speak. "Would you like to go out for dinner? As in a date?"  

You made it seem as if you were thinking about it, but he didn’t worry about it. He knew your answer already.  

"Yeah, I guess I can make time for one date."  

You smiled. You gave him your biggest, most genuine smile in a long time.He smiled too.  

Loving Bucky Barnes hadn’t been easy. But as you both lay in your beds, his hands caressing your face and new hope brewing between you, your heart told you that this time would be different. 

He wasn't the same tormented man from another time you'd fallen in love with, and you weren't the same broken but hopeful girl he'd loved with all his heart.You both had hurt each other, but you had also grown, both of you in your own ways, and yet destiny had brought you back together.  

This time, neither of you was scared. 

This time, loving him would come as easily as breathing.

If you like the story please interact: reblogs, likes and comments go a long way. Feedback is always appreciated! Feel free to message me about it.

Tag list: @wintasssoldier @fallenoutofrose @cjand10 @nouk1998 @smplymrvl @littlemiss-yeehaw @magnificentsvn @kentokaze @gostodosopa @musicgirl44 @rebloggingmyrecs @mbindzus-blog @pampeop @buckystwilight @blackhawkfanatic @miss-i-ship-it @bibliophilewednesday

[whyse7vn]

I AM NOT UR GF -

[ ot7 x reader ]

SEOKJIN -

y/n: i’ll kill you

jin: i’m into that

y/n: ur going to hell

jin: i’ll take you with me

y/n: i’m going to heaven i’m an angel

jin: my angel

y/n: gross

jin: only for you

y/n: we are not together

jin: ???

sorry i can’t read

y/n: clearly

jin: take ur clothes off

y/n: ???

jin: sorry autocorrect

y/n: why did you tell the boys we are dating?

jin: i did?

lmao yeah i did

sorry i could never lie to the loml like that

y/n: what?

jin: ur on my will

y/n: happy one day to us 🥂❤️

jin: i like being used

y/n: yk what i’m having second thoughts

jin: as long as it’s you using me

y/n: uncomfortable rn

jin: i’ll make you comfortable

y/n: ur the cause

jin: ur my cause ❤️

y/n: what does that even mean??

jin: kiss me

y/n: leave me alone i’m tired

jin: i’ll build you a bed

y/n: what

jin: i cook

y/n: ur like 62

jin: age is a construct

y/n: ur gonna get arrested with a mindset like that

jin: would go to jail 10x over for you

y/n: out of context this looks insane

jin: you make me insane

and keep me sane ❤️

y/n: what

are you drunk?

jin: a bit

y/n: yikes

jin: my hips work

y/n: i would hope so?

jin: use me

y/n: you need to be put down immediately

JIMIN -

y/n: ummmmm?????

jimin: ummmmm?????

y/n: i am not ur gf

jimin: ummmmm?????

y/n: why are you telling people i’m ur gf

jimin: ummmmm?????

y/n: ummmmm?????

jimin: i thought it was time to tell people

y/n: tell people lies???

jimin: we are always together anyways i am doing us a favour tbh

y/n: “am” so ur still actively telling people that we are together?

jimin: ur so smart this is why i love you 😘

y/n: so were you in love with me when you flirted with the waitress right in front of me when we went out YESTERDAY?

jimin: why were you jealous?? 😏

y/n: ur actually insane like clinically insane

jimin: it was a moment of weakness babe 🥺

y/n: moment of weakness??

you have like 20 of those a day

jimin: omg i’m just a natural flirt yk i can’t help it 😞

y/n: i think the word ur looking for is whore?

jimin: I AM NOT A WHORE

y/n: yeah ok

jimin: unless you want me to be a whore then i’m the biggest whore you know honestly and truly!!!!!!

y/n: ur gross

jimin: ofc i’ll marry you!

y/n: ???

jimin: wow i’m so emotional rn

i love you i’m so excited for our future

i know some people may say we’re moving to fast but idc the truth is that i’m so in love with you i can hardly breathe!!!

y/n: get actual help.

HOSEOK -

hobi: we

y/n: no

hobi: us

y/n: no

hobi: hands held

y/n: no

hobi: mouth 2 mouth

y/n: still no

hobi: i told my parents about us

y/n: ur mother is gonna beat ur ass for lying

hobi: i told the boys about us

y/n: we are not together

hobi: the company is next

y/n: you won’t live to see another day if you do

hobi: i hope our kids have ur eyes

y/n: i can report you for harassment you know?

hobi: my pretty gf

i love you ^^

y/n: blushed for a second

that’s all you’ll ever get out of me

hobi: ur soosososososo cute

σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡

i’m gonna eat you

y/n: this isn’t right

hobi: this is the rightest thing ever

y/n: go outside or something

hobi: come with me

y/n: there is no hope for the kids these days 😞

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING IT IS TO BE FLIRTING WITH THE KIM MINGYU AND FOR HIM TO BE LIKE “ARE YOU NOT DATING JK?”

jk: i’m going to kill myself

y/n: ARE YOU SICK IN THE HEAD IM GOING TO FIND YOU AND KILL YOU

jk: i’m already dead

y/n: GOOD

jk: i can’t believe you talk to other men

oh my god i cjant breathe rn iMmm loosing vision hhe lp mmme…

y/n: IM SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GODODJD

jk: so like did you did you tell him we’re together or…

y/n: NO U SICKX SICK FUCK

I TOLD HIM NO IM NOT WITH FUCKING JUNGKOOK ARE YOU OUT OF UR MIND

jk: wow

in all caps like that?? a bit harsh

y/n: FUCK YOU

jk: pls stop shouting yk im a sensitive soul

y/n: WHY DID YOU TELL HIM WE ARE TOGETHER????????

jk: i didn’t tell him directly omg?

i messaged him

y/n: WTF IS UR PROBLEM????

jk: WAIT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH MINGYU?????????????????????

WHAT THE FUCKCKCKDK

y/n: i hate you

i’ve never wanted to push someone out of a building so bad until i met you

jk: that’s kinda cute

you think of me??

i love you too

y/n: you have 3 days to live

jk: as long as i’m with you nothing can take me out

y/n: shut the fuck up

yk know whose taking me out tho?

mingyu 🥰

jk: what

y/n: ?

jk: i have dispatch on the phone rn

y/n: tell them

being mingyu’s gf publicly? a dream come true tbh 😍

jk: when ur new bf is kicked out his group becomes broke and is living on the streets i’m sure ur dream will be alive and well

y/n: oh it will

with my baby through thick and thin 🤞🏽

jk: i’m going to kill myself

y/n: idc!

jk: i love you

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: stop telling people we are dating i will block you

tae: did you know i need u girl was about you

y/n: didn’t even know you then

tae: i’ve always known you

y/n: creepy as hell

tae: to some

y/n: to all

tae: why don’t you want me

y/n: ur not mark lee

tae: i’m kim taehyung

y/n: exactly

tae: you could get jumped for saying stuff like that these days

y/n: oh well

it was worth it

tae: i wish you knew

i wish you knew i wanted you

y/n: i know

and you got the lyrics completely wrong

tae: my lyrics may be wrong but my feelings for you aren’t

y/n: are you not with jennie?

tae: stfu?

y/n: loser

tae: she’s not my type

you are 😘

y/n: wishing i was jennie hours 😞🙏🏽

tae: you’ll will literally never be happy without me

y/n: that’s so crazy cuz i’m like over the moon rn

tae: that’s because i’m messaging you

y/n: pretty sure it’s because i’m not with you but whatever helps you sleep at night

tae: you help me sleep at night

y/n: tough

tae: :(

YOONGI -

y/n: i’m ur girlfriend now?

yoongi: what?

y/n: you’re telling people i’m your girlfriend?

yoongi: might be true might be false

y/n: kinda crazy

yoongi: do you not want to me my girlfriend?

y/n: no?

yoongi: 😢

y/n: cry me a river

yoongi: i will

then i’ll drown myself in it

y/n: dramatic much?

yoongi: i just got my heart broken can you have someone sympathy

y/n: L

yoongi: maybe like kiss me on the lips or something and i’ll be better idk tho

y/n: is min yoongi being open and honest with me rn???

times have changed i must say

yoongi: having a gf does that to a man

y/n: really?

yoongi: yep being in love is crazy

y/n: love? so it’s pretty serious between you two then?

yoongi: yeah i’m gonna marry her

y/n: wowwww how long have you guys been together then?

yoongi: 3 years in my head but i only started telling people 3 days ago

y/n: you are not right in the head

yoongi: love is crazy

y/n: i think it’s just you fr

yoongi: 🥲

NAMJOON -

y/n: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

namjoon: hi

y/n: shut ur mouth

namjoon: 🤐

y/n: we are NOT together

N

O

T

together

do you understand?

namjoon: 🚫❌⁉️

y/n: well start understanding

namjoon: 🙅🏻‍♂️🚫

y/n: i’m sick and tired of you

namjoon: 🙎🏽‍♀️➡️👨‍⚕️🏥

y/n: bye

namjoon: 🥺

y/n: what is with ur obsession with me???

are you that bitchless omg??

namjoon: logically speaking

y/n: you have never spoke a logical word in your life

namjoon: okay nvm

y/n: namjoon you are down ridiculously bad at first it was cute i WAS blushing and giggling now i’m just concerned

namjoon: date me

y/n: that is NOT how you ask a girl out

namjoon: help me out here

y/n: i will not help you in the slightest

namjoon: that’s just mean

y/n: ur a freak

namjoon: am not

y/n: you so are

namjoon: go on a date with me

y/n: where is the the question mark?? are you asking me or telling me??

namjoon: ur being ridiculous

go on a date with me?

there

y/n: hehehehehhehehehe

okay!!!

namjoon: FR??

y/n: no lol

namjoon: that was so mean

y/n: :p

namjoon: dating me would probably mean free food for life

y/n: probably or definitely?

namjoon: *definitely

y/n: wait i’m kinda in love with you

namjoon: lol me 2 let’s makeout rn

y/n: i lied

namjoon: ur annoying

y/n: mwah

namjoon: did you just kiss me?

are you deeply attracted to me or something?

kinda cringe kinda hot i want you

y/n: didn’t know 2:25 am were your disgustingly desperate hours

namjoon: it’s not my fault it’s 2:25 in the morning and all i can think about is you

should i write i song about you?

would you be my gf then?

y/n: pls don’t

namjoon: it’s too late

y/n: if i go on a date with you will you shut the hell up and go to sleep

namjoon: YES

YESZYSS YES YES YES YES YESH

YESSYESYSYSYYDYD

yes

i might lol

y/n: see you tomorrow

namjoon: gn

y/n: gn

namjoon: gf 🤭

we hit 200 since when omg?? anyways feeling like i should do a “i’m not ur bf” ver but idk yet thoughts? u might get it next year or never but it’s the fact that i thought about writing it that counts!!

[erwinsvow]

Ok but let’s talk about nobody being there to pick Rafe up from jail :(( my poor rafey

( i saw your reblog and I also hope it isn’t general consensus?? I think it’s so cute and so 🙁)

-💓

hi babe!!!!! wait stop. I love rafey too 😭 I think it’s so cute. but only in private like he’d get mad if you said it in public 😵‍💫id do it tho bc let’s make him mad. it’s fun. dare I say it’s my hobby

also you literally know my mind. thinking abt this idea is literally why I decided to start writing for rafe because part 2 of suit the mood of my soul would be all of that rafe drama happening and literally having to fight with ur (reader LOL) parents to go see him in jail and then picking him up. in my head you’d be driving him back home and it’s the first time you’ve ever had to drive lol and he makes you pull over so he can drive but first he destroys ur pussy in the back seat. (sorry im projecting.)

to be honest though im thinking about how hard it is. youre so depressed, literally spiraling into tears anytime you think about rafe being there alone, thinking like was this all a big lie?? did your friends really cause this?? was it not a lie, and you don’t really know rafe at all? but its also SO emotional, your parents screaming at you that you are not seeing him again and you’re like you can’t stop me. and this is the longest you’ve gone without talking to him since you met him, keep checking your phone because you think it’ll go off with a text from him. you go to visit him and are just crying the whole time. he’s in shambles because he hates seeing you cry, doesn’t realize how much he fucked up, how lucky he is that you care so much, despite all the evidence you don’t believe he did any of it. you defend him valiantly to everyone, even your friends who say you’re delusional.

then you get a call since Rafe puts down your number. you literally SPEED to get there, and hes standing out there all alone. you run into his arms, literally leaving your car on n running. ugh i would SOB he would be so happy to see you, feels so relieved even though he knows what’s just happened.

you’re his calm though, like literally you settle his mind, so he feels so much better once you’re there. after he rearranges your guts, you both get in the front again—him driving and you in the passenger seat. he doesn’t know where to take you so you both drive around. you’d be all sleepy, leaning against the window, eyes fluttering open if he accidentally breaks too hard. you catch a little of what rafe’s mumbling to himself, pieces here and there

“we’ll just get out of here, kid, just you and me. we’ll be fine. don’t need anything else but me. i’ll take care of you, i will.”

you think you should be worried, but you’re not. you trust rafe entirely. you wake up in another part of the state, your phone turned off with lots of messages from your parents, but you don’t care, you’re just happy to be with him again. 😴🫣🫠

ANYWAYS, bae, how was work? 💓

[mysumeow]

Hi! I'm new to this but may I request (and this might be a bit specific) Lyney x male/gn reader(whichever you prefer) who has regenerative powers similarly to Ajin (in which they are basically immortal and fully regenerate once they die) and is pretty reckless because of it, I just imagine Lyney not being able to take their eyes of reader due to them getting into lethal trouble most of the time while adventuring. (Love your work :D, Feel free to ignore if not interested)

──Lyney with a reader who's reckless wherever they go and whatever they do.

WARNINGS ❪ Reader death mentioned, reader gets repeatedly injured (very mild descriptions of it). GN pronouns and body. SUMMARY ❪ Reader has the special ability to regenerate whenever they die. Reader has fun with this power, but it's not as fun for the magician they befriended. WORD COUNT ❪ 698 (bullet point list format) A/N ❪ HI ANON IM SORRY FOR TAKING TOO LONG FOR THIS AAAAAAAAA tbh, i dont know this character :c so i based this drabble (?) only on what you described. I hope the reader was reckless enough alhdsfsalkjfhjkldskjaf

BLANK BLOGS DNI

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ 🌷 . . MASTERLIST

⸝⸝⸝

The poor magician is constantly on edge because of your recklessness. And you nearly sent him into cardiac arrest the first time he found out about it.

You were Lyney's stagehand, in charge of rope work and inspecting that the props were firmly attached and in place.

Let’s just say you didn’t check that your safety equipment was correctly secured.

Given that your place of focus was up there, at least 20 meters (65.6 feet) away from the wooden floor, when you fell... It was a rather distressing sight.

Lyney felt beyond guilty about what happened, even if it wasn’t his fault. He was both relieved and bewildered when he found out you were fine?

A fall from that height would render anyone with broken bones beyond repair, and you left the hospital on your own? Without needing a wheelchair or anything?! You walked out of there as if nothing had happened.

“Ohhh, right. I forgot to mention that. For some reason, I can’t die.”

You were immortal, and you were confessing that ability like you were talking about the weather.

“But… But I saw you covered in blood and...” He couldn’t finish his sentence; the mere memory caused chilling goosebumps.

He always keeps an eye on you when you’re about to climb the scaffolding.

“You’re going to get yourself into a mess again,” He worried, rushing to your side once he noticed the hook that goes into your gear seemed flimsy. “This needs a replacement,”

“But your show is tomorrow,” You objected. “Besides, if something happens, I’ll regenerate. No biggie,”

“Your ability is unmatched, but it must still hurt a lot when you get into that trouble,” He insisted, removing the swivel snap hook from the gear before you could further object. “The forge sells these items. It won’t take more than a couple of minutes to buy one,”

Unfortunately for a troublemaker like you, sooner rather than later, the magician picked up on your habit of running into situations.

Once, you came back after lunch with concerning burns on your arms.

“Look, I picked up some bulle fruit. They’re fresh. Want some?”

“What happened? Dear archons, those look like second-degree burns?!”

“I ran into some trouble with some dumb gardemeks. I gave them a good beating,” You boasted. “They did sneak behind me and hurt me, but still,”

“If you want to go after them, go ahead with it,” Lynette said, noticing her brother’s anxious face.

You wielded both a vision and a weapon, so he knew you were more than capable of defending yourself, and yet he couldn’t stop going after you to make sure you were alright.

“Lyney!” You greeted him as you were about to go back to the theater. “What’re you doing here? Ah—don't tell me I took too long to return!”

“None of that. Geez, it’s a miracle I found you in one piece,” He sighed and rubbed his temple. “You’re a magnet for trouble wherever you go,”

“C’mon, I can’t be that bad.” You laughed.

He also remembered that time you were adventuring. You know, being cooped in the city could be boring sometimes.

The sibling’s schedules were free for that couple of days and thought it would be a fun experience.

The moment they finished setting up the tents, they noticed you had run off somewhere without them knowing.

“Do you guys think these berries are edible?”

Spoiler: they weren’t…

Often, it’s Lyney bandaging you up.

It was customary for Lyney and Lynette to carry bandages and band-aids with them when they rehearsed their show. It’s not uncommon for blisters to appear on any part of their body after an intense rehearsal or to sprain an ankle occasionally.

Now, having you around, there was even more reason to store them.

Before you could scurry away from him, Lyney called you with a stern voice.

The usual flirty and teasing side of the magician disappears when he catches you trying to hide a cut or a scrape.

“’Tis but a small cut,” You assured, laughing nervously. “O-Ow—!”

The disinfectant stung as he applied it to your jaw. “How did you even—forget it. Knowing you, you were probably careless,” He undid the band-aid's wrap and grabbed your face, preventing you from moving away.

“There you go,” He smiled, pleased with himself, the band-aid in place. “You can go back to work,”

[thxjoon]

You’re the only good thing in my life pt 2

-genre/warnings: arranged marriage, mentions of cheating in the past, angst, smut, hurt/comfort, fighting

A/n very sorry for the long wait, I had written my part 2 but decided I didn’t like it and rewrote it…. This is still not finished btw, there will be one last part I also just realized i never titled this :o

Once namjoons mother had found out that namjoon had been unfaithful to minseo she was furious. She knew how much minseo cared for her son. She couldn’t believe he’d do something like that to her.

But of course namjoon was her son. she was disappointed but at the end of the day she understood that people make mistakes.

After work he decided to go down to seokjins house to talk. he decided to give up his land. It has already caused enough trouble in his life. He didn’t want it anymore.

Upon arriving he lets himself in, immediately stopping in his tracks seeing his brother, seokjin sitting with his wife, minseo.

“Minseo, what are you doing here?”

Minseo stood as she ignored his question

“Well then, I should be heading home now”

Pushing past namjoon out the front door as he followed her

“Minseo wait!” He say’s grabbing her arm

“Let go of me, please” she couldnt even look at him, not because she didn’t want to but because it hurt too much

“I asked you a question. what are you doing at my brothers house?”

“Does it matter?” She tried tugging her arm out of his hold

He responded holding her tighter

“Yes it does. You have no business being here, especially alone with him.” What was he insinuating?

“I wanted to know who she was” she finally looked him in the eyes

“Who?”

“Your lover” tears started to brim her eyes

“Minseo, he has no business in our marriage. If you wanted to know the truth of what happened you could’ve ask me”

“I couldn’t. You know why? Because it hurts much more coming from you. I do not wish to know all the details”

It was silent for a moment before namjoon spoke “when that night happened, we were nearly a month married, we were Still not fully familiar with eachother. It was before I had realized how much you meant to me, before I knew that I loved you. I could not tell you who it was because I truly do not know. I try hard to forget that regretful night. Ever since the night we confessed our love for each other I’ve been thinking of no one else except you. Please minseo, im sorry.”

Tears ran down her face as she struggled to speak “it doesn’t matter. You were still my husband. I’ve been nothing but faithful to you since I found out about this whole situation” she nearly ran when he loosened his grip on her arm. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this.

Namjoon stood there feeling defeated. Seeing jin staring out the window. When they locked eyes jin quickly hid behind the curtains. Namjoon left shaking his head.

Upon returning home, it was quiet. Namjoon had called off their weekly family dinner once again, saying it was because he wasn’t feeling well but everyone in the family already knew what was going on.

Heading to bed with a heavy heart, feeling absolutely horrible not having minseo there to comfort him.

Minseo spent most of her days avoiding him at all costs. She knew she couldn’t hide forever but every time she saw him she was reminded of everything that has been happening but at the same time she was missing her husband. She soon realized that she really didn’t have anyone else.

Namjoon had started working even later into the night just to keep his mind busy. Trying to get things done as he kept postponing them all week.

“Namjoon” he was broken out of his thoughts as he saw her, minseo.

“Yes? What happened?” He immediately stood up

“Your mother, she can’t get a hold of you. She’s been calling for a while now”

“Oh, yeah I was busy, I’ll call her in a minute-”

“I already talked to her, she said she’s having a gathering at her home tomorrow and you must attend, no exceptions”

He nodded “will you be going?”

“I might, Depending on how I’m feeling. Night.” She said walking out the door of his home office not giving him a second glance

“Goodnight!” He said before she shut the door. He slumped back into his chair not remembering what he was doing just a minute ago.

-

The next day namjoon waited practically the whole day for minseo. He thought they would drive there together but she never asked or even mentioned she was going. He decided to go before it got too late, he figured she probably didn’t want to go.

Namjoon arrived a little late but he knew he had to show up or else his mother would have given him an earful.

Walking in seeing everyone talking, laughing with each other. He immediately felt nervous. He shouldn’t be, this is his family.

“Namjoon!” His mother is the first to greet him “thank you for coming, dear” she kissed his cheek

“Well you said no exceptions so here I am” he sighed

“Everyone is here, go say hello” she encouraged with a smile on her face

“Mother, im really not-“

“Minseo is here too” his mother added

“Where?” He questioned immediately looking around for her

“I believe she’s out back”

Immediately going to see if she was actually here, going out the back door of his mothers house. He sees her. Sitting beautifully, legs crossed in her white floral dress talking with a family member. They both stop mid conversation as he spoke

“Hi- im sorry to interrupt” namjoon looked nervous

“That’s alright dear, I’ll be heading inside now. It was good seeing you sweetheart” his great aunt says as she said goodbye to minseo

“I thought you weren’t coming” namjoon sat down once they were alone

“I never said I wasn’t” taking a sip of her drink feeling nervous herself

“I waited for you, I thought maybe we’d drive down together” namjoon searched for her eyes but she wouldn’t look at his

“Seokjin brought me.”

“Oh” Namjoon was beginning to feel a sort of hatred towards his brother. He just couldn’t keep his nose out of his marriage

“You look beautiful as always”changing the subject he reached for her hands that were on the table

“I’m leaving” She finally looked at him as she pulled her hands away

“Leaving? What do you mean?”

“Back home, with my mother.”

“What, Why? My love you-“

“Because I need to. I feel lonely here, I need to get away for a while. It’s all too much”

“Everyone loves you here, my mother, our aunts everyone adores you- I can’t be without you, please” he didn’t realized tears had begun to form in his eyes

“You’ve lived without me before, you’ll be fine namjoon. I’m sure you’ll find someone else to entertain you”

“No. No I don’t want anyone else. Just you, Minseo. I can’t imagine my life without you. I-I love you so much. Please, please tell me what I should do so that you’ll stay” his heart felt like it was aching in his chest. He’d never thought that his worst nightmare would be to lose his wife.

she could see it in his eyes how sorry he was but her trust had been broken “How can I trust you anymore joon?”

“I promise you that I’ll never hurt you again my love. I truly never meant to hurt you. I honestly thought that this marriage wasn’t going to be a real marriage. But I-I fell for you so hard.” He himself would’ve never thought this would happen but it did. And he’s never been so happy to have found her.

She went to put one of her hands on top of his arm “I still love you namjoon. You can’t stop loving someone so quickly, but I need some time”

Looking at her with big glossy eyes he nodded “you will be back right?”

They were interrupted by namjoons mother as she stepped outside to find the two

“Kids! Come inside. I’ve made a ham” she waved her hand for them to come join the family

“We’re coming! Come on, can’t keep mom waiting” minseo was first to get up as he followed

Everyone was serving themselves. Minseo wasn’t feeling hungry but she didn’t want to be rude so she made herself a plate. Namjoon wasn’t sure if he should sit next to her or not. Minseo sat at the full table so he had no other choice but to sit somewhere else.

Namjoons mother noticed he wasn’t enjoying himself. She figured whatever the two we’re talking about outside caused this. She always taught her sons to fight for the people they love. She’s just hoping that namjoon will take her advice.

He certainly didn’t enjoy watching his wife laugh at all his brothers jokes from across the room. Didn’t those two hate each other? Minseo and jin were actually good friends before this whole marriage happened. Is it weird to say that this whole situation brought them closer? Minseo realized she didn’t really have anyone else to talk to but jin was there, like old times.

After it got later and people started leaving. Jin offered to drive minseo back home to which she accepted before she went to thank Mrs Kim

“Thank you for coming, dear” she held both of her hands

“Of course, your food is always delicious”

Namjoon now walking into the living room coming from the bathroom. seeing his mother and wife together always made him happy. But now it just made him nervous. Not knowing what his mother would say to her

“Hi” he said looking directly at minseo

“Hi, I’m going to be heading home now. Jins taking me”

“Okay. I’m going to stay here a bit long. Ill be there soon” he didn’t like that idea but he needed to stay to talk to his mother privately. Minseo nodded leaving.

Namjoon started helping his mother put the left overs away

“Do you want to take any of these home with you dear?” His mother asked as she was looking for Tupperware, immediately stopping as she heard a sob come from her son

“Joon? Whats the matter?” She pulled him into a hug as he continued to cry into her shoulder

“She’s leaving me”

“Oh no, honey I’m so sorry. What did she say?”

“She-she’ll be staying with her mother for a while but what if….what if she doesn’t come back, what if she stops loving me. And jin–“

“Honey, she’ll come back. she just needs time. I’ve seen how much you two love each other. And jin, don’t worry about jin. He’s your brother, he’s just trying to get under your skin. If you don’t want to lose her then you better go and show her how much she means to you”

Namjoon nodded not really able to get his words out now, wiping his tears “I should go and make sure she got home safe”

“Go, and when she leaves come visit me often so you won’t be so alone”

On the way home jin asked a lot of questions about her leaving as well, he was actually the one to suggested going away for a while

“Did your mother ask why you were coming home so suddenly?”

“Yes she did. I told her it was because I was home sick. I didn’t have the heart to tell her.” Minseo says looking out the passenger window feeling mostly tired

“You know you wouldn’t be going through all of this if you would’ve chosen me” jin spoke looking directly ahead on the road

Minseo slowly turning her head to him “what?” She said in disbelief. She didn’t know whether or not he was making another joke right now.

“All those years, and yet you chose him”

He in fact wasn’t joking

“I dont understand jin. You made it clear that we were just friends” minseo did have a crush on him back when they were in school but she was turned down countless of times

“You were just a kid! And by the time I thought maybe you were ready you had namjoon already courting you. I still believe he did it just to get back at me”

“Jin, why are you tell me this now-“

Jin pulled the car over quickly scaring minseo a bit, now facing her

“I’m saying nows our chance, I still want you…” jin moved his hand to her thigh feeling her soft legs, slowly moving up-

“Jin, what the hell!” She moved his hand off her thigh “I’m married. And im sorry but that was the past” her other hand searched for the door handle

“Oh come on, you’re still going to be faithful to him? even after everything he’s done to you-“

Finally finding the door handle she practically jumps out the car slamming the door, jin also jumps out as he sees her walking away

“What are you doing?” She ignores him still walking away ”Minseo, come on. Ok I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you angry”

“Just go, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not going leave you walking, just get in”

“I said no. Now leave before I start screaming”

“Fine, but it’s not my fault if you get lost.” Jin got into his car and sped away leaving minseo walking. She knew how to get home, it would just take her a while.

Namjoon arrived home before minseo. He went to check on her before he went to bed but he couldn’t find her. Of course this worried him. He checked every corner of the house. He even checked outside. Calling jins house because that was the last person she was with but he didn’t answer. He decided he was going to go look for her, taking the route he thinks jin would’ve taken but before he could get out the drive way minseo walks in the gate. exhausted and teary eyed.

“Minseo! I was worried sick about you. I was just about to-“ seeing her condition he could tell something did happen “are you alright? Where’s seokjin?”

“I decided to walk home”

“Walk? That’s quite the walk. Did something happen?”

She sighed “just jin being jin” she went to walk past him to go inside but he stopped her

“Did he do something to you?” He knew his brother, he wanted to take everything he had, even his own wife.

“Look I’m really tired right now I just-“

“Tell me, please. I swear if he touched you-“

“I stopped him before he went too far, And please don’t go cause a scene, He’s not been himself lately”

Namjoon was boiling. Take his job, Take his land, but not his wife. Namjoon didn’t want to upset minseo so he kept his cool, at least for right now.

“Let’s get inside, it’s cold.” She tried changing the subject. Minseo said good night before heading to her room. She couldn’t sleep so she spent practically the whole night packing her bags. Her mother was expecting her tomorrow.

Namjoon also couldn’t sleep. he couldn’t believe his own brother would do that to him. Jin knew how desperate namjoon was to win back minseo. He wondered if maybe minseo secretly wished she had ended up with jin. He knew jin had a crush on her back in the day. But it was too late for jin. She was his.

The next morning minseo had started bringing her bags down stairs so that when it was time to go she’d be ready. All the noise caused namjoon to come out of his room. Seeing minseo struggling with her bags.

“Here, let me help” he immediately took the bags out of her hands carrying them for her

“Thank you” minseo slightly out of breath

“Are you… leaving already?” He didn’t know she’d be leaving so soon.

“Yes, my mother is sending a driver to take me. He’ll be here any minute” as if on cue the door bell rings. “Oh- that must be him” minseo going to open the door greeting the older man

“I’ll be taking your bags to the car now”

She had a lot, in total of five suitcases and two duffel bags. That kind of worried namjoon. This meant she was staying long right?

“Minseo, be safe. And call me if you need anything. Money or if you need help with yard work-“ he’d take any opportunity to see her

“I’ll be fine. thank you” how badly she wanted to say more, a hug goodbye even. But she couldn’t bring herself to do so

He watched her leave. Feeling as though a part of him was leaving as well. But he knew this wasn’t the end, It couldn’t be.

Going inside their home looking around felt empty. He didn’t like it, He doesn’t remember life without minseo.

He has a lot of things to get done. But first, seokjin.

He couldn’t wait any longer. He so badly wanted to confront Jin about what happened that night. And as soon as minseo left he went to Jins house

Upon arriving he was going to just walk in but the door was locked. He just about pounded on his door feeling all those emotions he had last night come back.

Jin had looked as if he had just woken up, opening the door confused and clearly hung over

Namjoon wasted no time barging in, pushing Jin causing him to stumble. Jin had no time to process what was going on as namjoon brought his fist to jins face

“What the fuck!” Jin groaned in pain clutching his face still on the floor

Namjoon crouching down to be face to face with Jin “who do you think you are? Putting your hands on my wife?”

Seokjin smiled slightly clearly not sorry “what, are you afraid? I bet when you’re inside her cunt she wishes it was me”

Namjoon threw another fist to his brothers face as jin was trying to block them with his hands “don’t- fucking- talk about her like that. what has gotten into you, jin? I don’t understand”

“You took her from me” Jin mumbled out, face throbbing

“I didn’t take shit from you. She was your friend, that’s all she ever was to you.”

“No, it was more than that-“

“You only wanted her when you saw that we started seeing eachother” namjoon was right, jin felt jealous. He was so used to having minseo do everything he had asked for and when she found someone new to follow around he had realized how much he missed her.

namjoons intentions weren’t pure either. He needed to be wed, and Fast. His father had just passed away and his mother wanted namjoon to claim the land but the agreement was that it went to whoever was to be married first. Namjoon wasn’t ready to be married, But if he really did need to be married he’d pick someone he already knew. Someone who he knew would be a good wife. Minseo. She had been a family friend for years and she was a nice girl. Why not right?

Of course as soon as this was brought up to her father he was already cashing the check. Minseo was young. And she’d do anything her father asked, besides she knew namjoon already. She just truly wanted to be loved

Namjoon was always sweet and respectful, and of course she fell for him almost instantly but after the marriage was made official it was like he wasn’t interested anymore. Almost as though he was only being nice to make sure she wouldn’t back out. She was disappointed but as we know this didn’t last very long. She fell first but he fell harder.

“Stay the hell out of my life” namjoon said leaving Jin alone on the floor.

Minseo had arrived to her mothers house excited. She had missed her. She didn’t live that far away, it was about two hours away but she never had time to visit that often. As soon as minseo pulled up she saw her mother waiting outside. She immediately jumped into her mothers arms

“Oh darling, you look so beautiful” minseos mother said kissing the side of her head

“I’ve missed you so much mom”

“I have too, so much.. where is namjoon?”

Minseo still has yet to tell her mother. Her mom loves namjoon so much, she knows this will break her. but she was mostly keeping this from her because the same had happened to her. Minseos father had cheated on her mother countless of times and she took him back every single time. She didn’t want to bring up those awful memories.

“He, um, he has work so he couldn’t come”

“Oh, when you said you needed to get away I thought you meant the both of you. But this is even better! It’ll be just us girls then” her mother was truly excited to spend some time with her.

Minseo slept in her old bedroom, it felt weird but it brought back a lot of good memories. She didn’t have any siblings growing up but she spent most of her childhood with namjoon and seokjin. Mostly just seokjin though. Maybe if this whole marriage hadn’t happened everything would still be perfect?…Except it wouldn’t because she wouldn’t have her love.

It was hard for her to fall asleep these days, and when she eventually did it wasn’t for very long.

After day two of staying with her mom she was so happy to be here with her but she felt the want to go back home constantly.

Her mother could tell something was going on but she didn’t want to say anything yet.

Minseo was out back sunbathing on the pool chairs but she heard her mother shouting, immediately she got up and went inside to see what was going on. Her heart dropped when she saw him, namjoon, hugging her mother.

“Joon, what are doing here?!” Minseo was confused and a bit annoyed.

“Oh- um I just wanted to check on you- and to see mom of course!” He smiled at her mother

“Oh joon you know you’re always welcome! I’m working on dinner so make yourself comfortable”

Minseo left walking to her room to change out of her bathing suit not knowing namjoon was following right behind her. It startled her a bit. She quickly put on her robe that was hanging on her door

“You shouldn’t be here namjoon” he could clearly see she was angry

“I know, I’m sorry but I was worried about you-”

“I’m perfectly fine. No need to worry”

“Your mom was so excited to see me. I was actually kind of nervous to come because I wasn’t sure if you told her about anything yet-“

“I haven’t…” she sighed “I don’t think I will. Just go down and help her, I’ll be there after I change” he nodded quickly exiting the room

Minseo had slipped into some comfortable clothes and went to join the two. Already hearing them cracking up from all the way across to house

“What’s so funny?” She smiled

“Oh darling come see this” her mom said barely able to contain her laughter “it’s from when you guys were just kids and used to walk to school every morning, Remember when that car drove by a puddle and it splashed you guys so bad you all ran home crying”

“You have a picture?!” minseo doesn’t remember this being so funny

“Of course! I knew some day we’d be able to laugh back at this”

Namjoon smiling while admiring the beautiful smiles on their faces as well

“One day when you guys have kids of your own you better take all the pictures you can, time flies by so fast” her mother adds walking back to the stove leaving the two in the dinning room

“You remember this day?” namjoon says picking up one of the many photos her mother had pulled out. It was a more recent photo. From last years birthday.

“Of course I do, it was one of the best days of my life” she smiled remembering how special she felt that day. Before she could do anything else her mother began serving them. Enjoying the nice hot meal catching up, everything felt almost normal. Almost.

“I’m stuffed” namjoon said rubbing his stomach

“Me too, every time I eat I get real sleepy. Minseos bed is a twin but I’m sure you’ll both fit” her mother added

“Oh no need, he’ll be heading home now-“

“What? No, it’s late honey. Don’t you want to stay namjoon?”

He felt pressure from both sides wanting to say yes but needing to say no, for minseo but… he couldn’t.

“Of course i do!” He smiled but minseo was mad, heading to her room. Namjoon joined her after he had helped clean up.

“Wow Your room is smaller than I remember” namjoon said looking around

“Yeah well everything’s bigger when you’re 13… you can take the bed tonight”

“No that’s ok, it’s your bed after all”

“Just take the bed joon, you’re our guest”

“Um actually we’re her guests”

She rolled her eyes “fine we both take the bed, but get your own blanket” he smiled at her

both of them were settled into the small twin bed facing back to back in silence trying to fall asleep but neither of them could

“Namjoon” minseo said quietly which caused namjoon to turn his body around or face her

“Yeah?”

“Why are you really here?” Still not facing him

“Because I was worried about you… and because I missed you”

It was silent again for a moment until he heard her sniffle immediately feeling his heart begin to race

“minseo” he whispered as she now turned around to finally face him

“I missed you so much joonie, so much but you- you hurt me so bad” she was trying to keep her voice down as best as she could

He immediately pulled her into his chest as if on instinct “I know it my love, and I’ll forever regret it. I’ll spend the rest of my life fighting to get you back if I have to. You’re the only person I truly need” he was trying to hold himself together as well

“I love you, even if you decide to not forgive me-” he was full on crying now. He couldn’t hold back

Seeing him like this just hurt her even more, looking at him she went to grab ahold of his face “I love you too joon, always” with both of them crying he immediately went in for a kiss.

it felt like they haven’t kissed in ages. He missed the way she’d grabbed his hair whenever they kissed like this. His hands searched her body missing having her like this.

Namjoon feeling himself began to grow hard, he couldn’t control it. He didn’t want to ruin the moment but In all honesty, they both needed it

As soon as she realized she paused

“I’m sorry- it just-“ he tried to explain but she didn’t care. Reaching down to feel him

“It’s okay” she pressed down feeling all of him causing him to groan, she went back into the kiss while her hand moved inside of his sweats grabbing ahold of his heavy cock, she started pumping him nice and slow. Namjoon very much enjoying this he started thrusting into her hand. His mouth agape as he was moaning quietly into her ear

“Feel good?” She asked still pumping him just how he liked it

“Yes, so good-” god she missed this

“You’re mine right?” She knew he was but she still wanted to hear it

“Yes, im all yours.. I promise” his hands began roaming her body. Missing how she felt in his arms. He grabbed the hem of her tank top asking for permission to take it off, she wasn’t wearing a bra so her chest was fully exposed now. He immediately went to her chest leaving the most gentle kisses to both of them. focusing on her nipples as she was tugging on his hair softly, feeling just as good as him. When He went to pull her pajama shorts down she stopped him

“Wait, we can’t” minseo said slightly out of breath “my mother might hear us”

Namjoon knew that was a possibility but he was so horny right now he truly didn’t care

“We’ll be quiet, I promise. I need to feel you so bad, love” he said slowly grinding against her. Minseo was just as needy and of course she gave in

“Hurry up then” she said and not even a second later namjoon was taking off the rest of his and her clothes.

Hovering over her He was teasing his tip in while he played with her clit because he knew once he was in, it wouldn’t be for very long. It feels like forever since he last had her like this. He wanted both of them to feel good.

Minseo was a whimpering mess as she tried to keep quiet. Namjoon the same, bitting his lip as he watched her

“I need you inside me, please” she whispered as namjoon started pushing himself inside

“Fuuck-“ pulling back feeling her squeeze him so good “I missed this pussy” he said into her neck as he found a good pace

They were both out of it, trying to keep quiet but feeling all too good. Minseos legs we slightly shaking as he started going faster. Namjoon couldn’t hold back his moans, trying to muffle them into the pillow

Minseo wrapped her legs around his waist just like she always did, letting him go deeper. Namjoon was close.

He began kissing her breasts, admiring how beautiful she looked under him. He’d do anything for her.

“My love, im close”

“Me too, kiss me joonie”

and he did, kissing her with urgency as he came inside her. He didn’t stop until she was finished. She wasn’t too far behind him as she was begging him to not stop

She came hard around him, feeling her pussy throbbing, namjoon still thrusting slowing letting her ride out her high

They both stayed in that position for a moment before he got up to wipe her clean, getting one of his shirts to clean the mess he made that was now spilling out of her. Being gentle because he knew she was still sensitive

“Thank you” she whispered once he was back in bed

“I should be the one thanking you” namjoon was smiling ear to ear

“For what silly” she knew what he meant but wanted to tease him

“For you know… being you”

“Oh stop” she laughed quietly “let’s go to bed now, im tired”

“Goodnight” he kissed her again before he snuggled onto her

“Night” minseo didnt know how she was able to live without him for so long but she did know that she hated it.

The two were finally able to have a good night sleep, the only thing that was missing was their bed at home.

But If only they knew what was waiting for them back at home….

[neteyamu]

Hi can I request a Jake sully imagine with his female mate where she sees him busy working in their home but she is very cold and tries to keep herself warm with blankets to go to sleep but she can’t and she keeps looking at him to see if he’ll be done soon and he eventually notices and jumps at the chance to cuddle with her nuzzling into her neck holding her tightly not wanting to let her go and kisses her a lot and tickles her making her laugh? Thanks 😊

pairing — jake sully x fem!reader

genre — fluff, teensy bit of angst

warnings — one swear word, shitty writing(if there’s anything else pls tell me🫶)

wc — 1.5k

a/n — this is so late im so sorry 😭😭 my time management is absolute ass(as you can probably tell😻) i also changed up a couple things (im so sorry if you dont like it, i’ll actually rewrite it if you want💀)

You keep on twisting and turning, feeling cold but you could tell you were burning up as there were beads of sweat rolling down your body. You groan lowly and slowly sit up in your bed, shivering and looking around for your mate with bleary eyes. You spot Jake sitting in the middle of your shared hut sharpening his dagger. He was humming a strange tune, it reminded you of one of the human songs he had shown you in the lab a few days ago. You went to call out to him but suddenly stop yourself as a certain memory flashed through your mind.

…

“Y/n, you’re gonna catch a cold” Jake reprimanded you, crossing his arms as he leaned onto a tree, the shade protecting him from the rain. You just laughed and danced around, the feeling of the droplets hitting against your blue skin felt calming. The water running through your hair and down your body was cooling you down, soaking your top and loincloth in the process.

“Do not worry Ma Jake, I never get sick.” you softly laugh and continue playing around in the rain. You turn to look at Jake and see a small smile etched onto his face. “You should join me.” You walk over to him and take his hands in yours, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Pleaseee”.

He sighs, trying not to give in but he just can’t help himself. “You know I can’t ever say no to you babe”. He dejectedly follows you out of the shade and into the rain, the water cooling down his body which was hot and sweaty after hours of training. He laughs with you and moves closer, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you into him. You drape your arms around his neck and lightly caress his braid, sending shivers through his body.

Jake smiles gently at you, his pupils slightly dilated as he leans down towards you. “I love you so much y’know.. so so much. I can’t even imagine going through a single day without you by my side.” He stops his face an inch away from yours as your breath hitches in your throat, your eyes tearing up at his words. There was so much love flowing through you and you just couldn’t keep it in any more. You bring your hands to his face and close the small distance between you two, smashing your lips onto his and pouring as much passion as you could into the kiss. It was slightly wet due to all the rain falling onto you both but you couldn’t care less. The feelings you had for this man were indescribable and you could not keep it in any longer.

You slowly pull away from him after a while, tears running down your face. You hope he mistakes them for the rain dripping down you both. Keeping his face in your hands, you give him a big smile and a quick peck to his lips. “I love you too Jake, I see you.” Jake pulls you into him and holds you tight in his arms. “I see you too Y/n” He leans down to your ear, breathing softly into it before whispering teasingly “You better not get sick”. You could see him smirking in your mind and you immediately pull away from him. “Skxawng, what a way to ruin the moment” you grumble out in annoyance, hitting his chest but causing no damage. You quickly walk away from him, going back to your hut. Jake laughs behind you and quickly catches up, taking your hand in his and turning you around, pulling you back to him. He nuzzles his face into your neck, holding you close. “Don’t be so mad baby, I’m only looking out for my princess”. He smiles into your neck, giving you a few soft kisses. Your resolve instantly melts and you hug him back. “Now come on, we need to get back home” Jake pulls away from the hug and holds your hand in his, walking back to Hometree as the rain pours down on you both.

…

You cringe as you remember your promise about not getting sick and keep quiet, not wanting him to get mad at you. You push through the pain in your body and get out of bed, walking towards Jake. You were shivering as the cool air blew into your hut, all you wanted to do was curl up in your blankets but Jake would definitely notice something was wrong. You lean down and wrap your slightly sweaty arms around his shoulder, hiding your face in his neck. “Good morning Ma Jake” you mumble against his neck.

Jake puts his dagger down and turns around to look at you with a smile on his face but it quickly disappears as he takes in your appearance. Your blue skin was paler than usual and your whole body was covered in a sheen of sweat. “Y/n are you okay?? What happened” He worriedly asked, placing his hand against your forehead to check your temperature. “Holy shit you’re burning up, let’s get you back into bed.” Jake stands up and picks you up bridal style, carrying you back to your bed and gently placing you down. “Stay right here okay” He tucks you in and sprints out the hut.

It had barely been 3 minutes before Jake was running back inside, carrying some strange liquid with him. “Here, drink this.” He holds the bowl up to your lips, waiting for you to down the strange substance.

“Jake, I’m fine, and what even is this?” You gesture towards the bowl, looking at Jake in confusion. “No you are not fine, you’re burning up and you probably have a fever” Jake grits his teeth at you. “Mo’at gave me this, it will make you feel better.” He lifts the bowl up to your lips once again and you take a tentative sip, immediately grimacing at the bitter taste. Jake just raises an eyebrow at you and you take the bowl from him, downing the medicine in one go. You make a face at the taste and hand the bowl back to Jake. “That was absolutely disgusting,” you groan out, “I don’t even feel that bad.”

“It’s your own fault you had to drink that. I told you you’d get sick, didn't I?” Jake sternly scolds you. Your ears droop down at his tone. “I’m sorry..” you whisper out, looking down at your hands. Jake takes one look at you and immediately feels bad, a pang of guilt hitting him. He sighs out in frustration before apologizing. “No baby, I should be the one apologizing. I was just worried about you.” He gets into bed beside you and holds you in his arms. “I’m really sorry princess” He lays his head on yours and gives you a soft kiss on your forehead.

“No Jake, I should apologize. You told me I would get sick but I never liste-“ You don’t get to finish your sentence as Jake’s tail comes up to your stomach and starts tickling you. “JAKE! STOP!!” You scream out in laughter and try squirming away from him but it’s no use, his big hands are wrapped around you and hold you in place. “Nuh uh baby, not until you admit it wasn’t your fault” Jake smirks as he watches you struggle in his arms, trying to catch your breath.

“Okay okay!! It wasn’t my fault!” You breathlessly say, not being able to control your laughter. “Please just let me go” you whine out, trying your best to get away from his tail. Just as you're pushing away from him, he lets go, causing you to fall at the very end of the bed, almost falling off.

“Jake!” you gasp out in shock, frozen in place and staring at him in disbelief. He bursts out into laughter at your expression and grabs onto your ankle, pulling you towards him. “Whoops, I guess you slipped through my arms” He just smirks at you, leaning over you as you lay down on the bed. You glare at him in response, turning your head to the side and pouting. “Aww c’mon princess, don’t be like that” he coos as he grabs your chin and turns your face back to him. You’re still pouting and before you can say anything, he leans down and captures your lips in between his own, giving you a soft kiss. You relent and kiss him back, feeling him smile into it.

“I’ll get you sick” you mumble into his lips. He just hums and shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t care, I’d happily be sick if it meant I could spend more time with my beautiful mate” he smiles cheesily at you. You just roll your eyes at him as a blush appears on your cheeks. Just as you’re about to retaliate, all the air gets knocked out of your lungs when Jake lays down on you, crushing you with his body weight.

“Jake! What are you doing??” You scold him, softly pushing at him. Although he’s heavy, you can’t deny that he’s warming you up. “Taking a nap with my pretty girl” he sleepily mumbles into your chest and wraps his arms around you, trapping you under him. You just shake your head at his antics and mumble to yourself, “Skxawng.”

[bluiex]

My mom is a good person; I am not my mom.

My mom is a good person but I am not my mom 

My mom is a kind woman but I am not my mom 

My mom is a generous soul but I am not my mom 

My mom is a wonderful lady but I am not my mom 

My mom does good for those around her 

I would do the same yet an argument is sure to follow

My mom gives kindness to the hopeless 

I would do the same yet an insult is in gained in my vocabulary 

My mom lets generosity spread to the needy 

I would do the same but in a greedy way

My mom is wonderful to be around 

And I wonder if I am the same

People say so many good things about her, I wonder if I’ll ever compare

People say so many good things about me, I wonder if it’s the truth

People say such wonderful things about her, I can’t help but choke up

People say such wonderful things about me, I can’t help but want to cry 

But my mom is good person; I am not my mother.

— —

Migraine 

Loud sounds gives me headaches 

Bright lights make me want to scream

I feel my head splitting when I smell that Mr.Clean

My nerves feel like a fire when you touch me skin to skin

So please keep far away

Or I’ll rip me limb by limb

— — Someone died; What a pity.

I think my body’s numb from pain 

I can’t feel tears so I’m not crying 

I’m clawing at my clothes because my skin is too tight 

I’m scratching at my bones, leaving imprints 

The past is the past and sorry won’t work 

I regret so much I can’t say

I’m burying myself in ice til I’m blue

I’m causing pain to a pain inflictor

I’m naked under the covers, so don’t look 

I feel bruises form but I keep punching 

I’m never getting my life back 

I’m never seeing you again; What a pity 

— — —

Hi Bluie! It’s been a hot minute, hasn’t it? I wasss hoping to bring good news( like I’ve stopped having as many panic attacks cause I start therapy) then today happened and…Yeah. It’s been a bad day.

the first one is actually NOT about mommy issues. I’ve got a good mom😎. It’s about legacy. We all leave behind a legacy, whether we know it or not. And sometimes it’s suffocating to fit the mould.

The second one, it’s in the title. I HATE migraines but literally everything sets them off for me :/

The third one is actually about today. NO ONE DIED!!! But it feels like I died. Like a part of me I didn’t know existed disappeared and it’s all I notice now. Even if I’m not the one on the death bed, I’m dying too.

-🌺🪸🥀

I feel that migraine one deeply jashgsdffd (i have chronic migraines- fucking sucks)

I think the someone died one is very pretty, in a sad relatable way /pos

But its so good to hear from you again! <3 Im so happy to hear you started therapy :D just remember, healing/getting better isnt linear and there will be ups and downs, just keep goin!

[logically-asexual]

another fanfic i won’t write:

about gabriel misusing his power to take advantage of nathalie’s feelings for him. because i love toxicity.

at some point during season 4?

gabriel walks past nathalie’s bedroom and gets a strange sensation. he gathers that he must be sensing an emotion coming from nathalie but it’s too muffled to decipher. she’s always been way too good at hiding her feelings, so even this subtle hint at something is rare for gabriel to spot. but it still isn’t enough.

he stops by her door and tries to get a clearer impression but it doesn’t work. he calls duusu and asks her to check on nathalie, which she gladly accepts.

duusu gets inside and asks her what’s wrong, but nathalie is just sitting in her bed working as normal and insists nothing is wrong. and duusu is like “please miss nathalie, you can talk to me! i promise i won’t tell mr gabriel anything!”

nathalie wasn’t even thinking about that possibility, but now that the kwami mentioned it she says “you can’t keep that promise. he could force you to speak, and you’re not even good at keeping secrets anyway”

and duusu says “so there is a secret!”

gabriel is overhearing everything from the other side of the door and at this moment he can make out a tiny speck of nervousness coming from inside.

duusu goes on “i mean in addition to the one about you being in lo—“ before nathalie holds her little mouth shut and whispers “don’t you dare say that out loud.” then she sighs. “besides. i don’t even know if that’s still true.”

that little confession is what gabriel needed, because nathalie lets her guard down just enough for him to feel her emotion. which turns out to be distress, caused by the conflict between her loyalty for him and her worry on whether she’s doing the right thing.

(nathalie has been thinking about their actions and doubting if it’s all really worth it. she still loves gabriel but he’s changing and what she admired before as commitment to his family is turning into obsession, and she doesn’t like it.)

gabriel steps back and frowns. this is bad, he can’t lose nathalie’s support. he would be ruined without her. he can’t let her hesitate and must bring her back on his side. and he knows just the way to do it. >:)

nooroo knows his bad intentions and tries to talk to him like “uuh.. master? what are you going to do?” gabriel responds “i need to take drastic measures,” before waving the kwami away. then he knocks on the door.

👀..

nathalie tells duusu to get lost and turns back to her screen as she tells gabriel to come in. she’s able to bury her feelings again and once again gabriel feels nothing coming from her. but it doesn’t matter. he walks straight to her bed and ignores her when she asks what he needs.

he says that he just came in to check how she was doing, and let her know he’d have someone bring her food in a few minutes. she says she’s fine, and it’d be impossible for anyone else to know she was lying.

he looks at her in the eye with a sad expression. he just says her name and puts a hand on her cheek. she’s surprised and lets some nervousness show. she starts to ask what’s wrong but he interrupts her.

he gives her a little speech like “im so sorry. i know i’ve made too many mistakes but i promise i’ll fix them. i… i just need you to know how important you are to me, nathalie, how much i care about you.” he leans in closer, supporting himself with a hand on the bed on the other side as the one still on her cheek, so she’s caged in. “you’re the main reason i’m still doing this,” he lies, of course. then he closes his eyes and leans his forehead on hers.

nathalie is too shocked to do anything. she’s trying to process what he’s saying but she can’t, as overwhelmed as she is.

he moves his hands to wrap his arms around her in a hug that is a little awkward, but she hugs him back. then he pulls back again just enough to look her in the eyes and say “i’m going to save you, nathalie, i promise.”

she’s moved by this, feeling for some reason protected and safe in his arms. and now it’s her holding his face in her palm. “it’s okay,” she tells him “we will figure it out.”

gabriel smiles, then pauses for a moment, still feeling a little doubt in her. he takes a deep breath, and kisses her.

and it’s like. painfully soft and barely there. but clearly intentional. nathalie’s heart is running a mile a minute and she looks away in embarrassment after it’s over, but doesn’t push him away.

gabriel brushes a strand of hair away from her face, drawing her attention back to him and whispers “don’t give up on me, okay? i’ll fix everything.” to which she replies with the tiniest nod. he smiles and finally pulls away, and walks out without a word.

👀..

once he leaves duusu begins gushing about the kiss but stops once she notices nathalie is tearing up. duusu is confused because she thought she understood romance (though she only knows what she knows from fairy tale books) and a kiss is supposed to be the happy ending. nathalie doesn’t have energy to explain and she just says that it’s more complicated than that.

but gabriel’s plan worked. though a voice in her head tells her not to, she wants to believe him, because that small taste of what could be is enough to leave her wanting, hoping for more.

meanwhile gabriel left to his office to stare a the portrait, silently apologizing to emily, reassuring her (rather himself) that he did what he had to do to succeed.

nooroo mutters something about how he shouldn’t take advantage of people’s emotions like that, to which gabriel responds “don’t lecture me, kwami. im just using the power that you gave me.” he turns back to emily’s face “and i’ll do whatever it takes.”

[house-of-lovin]

see im relatively new to tumblr so i don’t even know if this is how ur supposed to send stuff in but.. yolo!

Anyways since R is a singer/writer and her reputation is pretty bad rn.. in like any sort of upcoming song she has i feel like ANY song from Taylor swifts “reputation” album works (im also saying that bc i absolutely adore rep.) BUT im not biased I have evidence.

Look what you made me do - one of the lines in the song is “i don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me, I’ll be the actress staring in your made dreams” THATS LITERALLY PERFECT BC PPL ARE STARTING TO NOT TRUST HER BC OF THE VEGAS SCANDAL, AND SHES AN ACTUAL ACTRESS!!

I did something bad - the title honestly speaks for itself. she taking the Vegas thing and reclaiming it as her own experience.. but making it positive

End game - “ohh, you and me, we got big reputations” her and j do indeed have very big reputations

So it goes - “getting caught up in the moment, lipstick on your face” her and j after R’s performance

Getaway car - “there were sirens in the beat of you heart” this might be a stretch buttt how R got arrested

Dress - “say my name and everything just stops. I don’t want you like a best friend, only bought this dress so you can take it off” I don’t feel like I even have to explain that

Dancing with our hands tied (my fav) - “i love you in spite of deep fear that the world would divide us” R being to scared to commit to J

Gorgeous- sooo many lines apply to R and J but I’m only gonna choose one. “And I’m so furious at you for making me feel this way, but what can I say? your gorgeous.” once again, speaks for itself

Ready for it - “i know I’m gonna be with you so I’ll take my time” she knows her a J are gonna end up together so she’s fine with waiting

This is why we can’t have nice things - “Here's a toast to my real friends. They don't care about that he said, she said. And here's to my baby. He ain't reading what they call me lately” ofc we can change the wording to best fit

New Year’s Day- “please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere” cmon now..

Don’t blame me - “I’ve been breaking hearts a long time and toying with them older guys” cause yk we know about R past.. with multiple people.

Call it what you want - “all the liars are calling me one” idk that just seems like a jab at the authors of the articles written about her

Delicate - “this is for the best. My reputations never been worse so you must like me for me” that’s the most PERFECT way to describe R and J

King of my heart - “your love I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep” cause.. she’s literally grasping onto the 50% chance she has with J

Anyways that’s my analogy, sorry if I went to far. I do that sometimes but once again, yolo. But tbh i can make any song relate to R. Just tell me and I can and will do it. ALSO THIS WASNT TO PRESSURE U JUST TO CLARIFY. THIS SERIES IS YOURS AND UR COMPLETELY IN CHARGE!!

I'm def gonna listen to all of these songs !!!

but a lot of people have said reputation fits R & J well!!

[ijumpbridges]

Conferences

Happy Birthdayyyy to meeeeee, so im making a weird story.

@nayafenix15

~~

Bridges was at a conference at the Vegas hotel, turns out he made friends with a guy who was also a higher rank with him and apparently he knew Bridges, and so they hit it off together.

Bridges lean into one of the windows and then jump a little when he felt something hit the windows.

“Pero la semilla” He said turning around and sees Billy.

Bridges opens the windows and Billy gets inside.

“Bruh, we been looking for you” Billy said getting inside the window.

“Billy.. this is a 7th floor, how are you here?” Bridges said.

“It was by accident but that doesn’t matter”

“It matters, you are on a conference and the weirdest thing no one has notice you came through to the window, you can’t be here. Let me take you out of here” Bridges said touching his shoulder.

Billy didn’t say anything, just follow Bridges lead as they both head to the door. A man from afar sees them and chases after then, he grabs Bridges arm and stops him from leaving.

“You leaving so soon, friend?” He grabs Bridges arm to which scares him and flinches it away, hiding it, the man still notice but rather not bring it up.

“Ah, sorry, but i had to take this one back, not sure how he got in, this is my Nephew” Bridges lies and the man smiles.

“Why are you-“ Billy gets hit by Bridges and stays quiet.

“Ah, what a lovely young man, he probably is going to grow up and be a fighter just like you”

“Oh no, he already is, he has been in combat before” Bridges said, Billy just watched the man, feeling a weird vibe from him.

“That’s very nice, [Redacted] can i have your number? You and your work experience can help us for our next meeting. You could teach more young kids about law enforcement, what do you say?” The man said, he smile unlike Bridges, he wasn’t happy.

“I’ll give it to you in a sec, I’ll be right back” Bridges said hurrying with Billy. Billy notice his grip has tightened on his shoulder

“What’s the matter? Why did you lie? Your hands” Billy asked him and pointed the hand.

“That guy, he said my name. I never told me him my name, we have to get out” Bridges said in a low tone, taking him to a table, where there was a towel, a bag that was open. Bridges went through his stuff.

“What” Billy said shocked.

“Billy, we need to leave. I brought my phone.. i cant find it” Bridges said taking out a phone.

“You have it, isn’t that the one?” Billy pointed out.

“No, i brought another one. Y’know how people have two phones one personal and another for business, i cant find the business one” Bridges said looking around for it.

“Did you go anywhere else? Before we met?” Billy asked Bridges, giving an ideas of where it could be.

“Bathroom, let’s go” Bridges said grabbing his bag and once again taking Billy with him with the same grip on his shoulder.

As they went to the bathroom, someone else follow them withou tthem notcing them.

“I was in here before you got inside of the window…” He said getting inside of a bathroom stall.

“Bridges!” Someone called, it was a woman, catching Bridges attention for the familiar voice.

“Hello?” Bridges said confuse.

“Bridges what the fuck” The woman said approaching him with mixed feelings. “Why did you came back!?”

“Sammy, how are you?”

“Bridges there no time for hellos you are wanted by 7 states, and 3 military branches” She said making Bridges face go pale

“Holy shit, what the fuck has happen”

“You seriously asking me? They are saying that you were involve on a riot that you cause, infiltration, a attacking and giving confidential information, these men are here cuz they were planning into hunting you”

“Im accuse of what!? You know im innocent right?” Bridges said shocked.

“Of course i do, i got your phone, but you have to get out” Sammy said showing him his phone, she threw it for him to catch it.

Bridges catches his phone, they al start talking on how to get out of this whole mess.

~~

“That should keep them occupied” 999 said, as the others kept themselves busy.

4840, 076, 2396, Allison, Naya, Ivan, and everyone else where trying to find Bridges, one is to keep him away for a surprise and two is to know where he was, he went missing for 5 hours.

“Now, we can plan a small surprise for him” 076 said.

“How do you remember it was his birthday?” 2396 asked 076.

“Before i killed all the agents of omega we had a birthday party for him, that same day the birthday boy was covered in cake and blood” 076 said.

“That’s a bit dark” Ivan said throwing his cigarettes on the floor.

“Yeah, not my proudest moment” 076 said.

“Well, no sad moments, if we tried making a birthday party there shouldn’t be sad moments” 2396 said.

“Yeah, so lets get to work” Naya said.

Everyone started to plan around, buying a small cake, some small gifts, and booking reservations to get for the small gathering. At 5pm, half of the things were done.

“We are all done” Allison said.

“I guess we can tell Billy or Bridges to come by now” 2396 said.

4840 used his phone to call them

“They are not picking up” Seth said.

“What do you mean they are not answering the phone” 076 said.

~~~

Bridges jumps out of a window with Billy who was clinging onto his arm now mutated arm and side, to protect himself from getting harm. They get in the rough ground, mostly Bridges hitting the ground, and preventing Billy to get hit. A few seconds pass, Bridges looked.

“Billy! Are you okey?” Bridges asked him, touching and moving him with his other hand.

“Yeah, im okey, but…” Billy pause to look at Bridges, covered in blood, glass, and looked at his mutated arm.

“Yeah.. don’t tell anyone” Bridges said in pain, noticing Billy looking at his arm, letting Billy go with his mutated hand and transform his arm into his old purple looking arm and hid it.

“Those that hurt you?” Billy asked him.

“Yeah, i barely tried to control it, i use painkillers, most of the time they work, but not all of the time.” Bridges said.

Billy only looked at the arm and Bridges looked away visible uncomfortable, hiding his arm from him.

“We should head back to the others and.. don’t tell anyone..” Bridges said and Billy just noddedz

Billy and Bridges came back, still holding his grip onto him, they were covered in blood although unbothered by it.

Billy guides Bridges to where the rest of the other were at, instead of taking a long way and hoping Bridges doesn’t notice it.

“Happy Birthday Bridges!” Everyone yelled, Bridges closed his ears from the noise.

“Wow, Billy i didn’t know it was your birthday” Bridges said.

“Are you deaf? We said Bridges no Billy” 4840 said.

“Oh my bad” Bridges said.

“But its not my birthday”

“Its October 14, you a Juggalo, don’t you remember you share birthday with Shaggy and the 076 incident was also on your birthday”

Bridges started thinking, his head was on the air.

Bridges and Billy looked at each other.

“Sooo…. Question. Where those agents trying to kill me stage or should we worry?”

“Agents?!” Allison yelled eyes wide open.

Then an explosion happen.

~~~

“Grandpa… what are you doing?” Asked Billy, slowly waking up and coughing up as he saw Bridges smoking.

“Protecting you, Silly” He responded with the Cigarette on his mouth.

“What” Billy said and he felt the heat of the fire behind him. He turns to see it, there were multiple people on the ground and a strange man in a suit, he was the source of the heat, this guy was floating, twisting his head.

“Bridges what’s going on?” Billy said looking back at Bridges he looked strange, he was glowing, but also visibly blurry, that’s the last thing he saw before passing out.

____

The end.

I might continue this or nah, this isn’t much canon, but oh well XD.

Happy birthday to me.

@nayafenix15

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari!! i am dropping by to give some good vibes & good weather for the weekend!! 🥹🌤️ & am also curious!! what song reminds you of any of your blorbos? 🥺

sel !!!! tysm ur so sweet, im sending u sunlight and flowers n treats :3 ☀️☀️☀️🌻🌻🍰🍰🍪🍪 i hope ur weekend is full of rest n the fluffiest vibes !! <3

aaaa thats such a good question too !!!!! i have a lot for gojo n geto, and then some for megumi n shoko too i think … im just gonna put it all under the cut in case it gets long i !!!! love love love assigning songs to my blorbos <333

FIRST OF ALL …. sel. u know how i am w gojo….. phshdhs i have a bunchhh of different songs i associate w him but !! here r a couple :>

ok so first !! i firmly believe that gojo is a swiftie so i legally have to assign him a taylor swift song n this is basic but ’cruel summer’ is just so HIM. i especially think of hs gojo when i hear it !!

so cut the headlights, summer’s a knife // i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone // devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes // and if i bleed, you’ll be the last to know

also ….. pinkpantheress ….. i dont know WHY i just get big gojo vibes when i listen to her songs 😭😭😭 … i firmly believe he’d listen to her too. i esp associate him w ’break it off’, ’capable of love’ and ’close to you’!!! the lyrics remind me sm of him too :’) i !! love our lonely babyboy !!!!

you can’t even sleep when you turn the lights off // white noise in your head makes it harder to breathe // but easier to tell me when it’s time for me to leave

this happened at the start, everytime we try we fall apart // you can’t seem to hold my heart // close to you // and i know that you make it clear that you want me out of here // though it’s loneliness you fear // close to you

and i think i need a picture ’cause it’s never enough // to see you smilin’ in my mind when i lay still in the dark // it starts with you

i’m obsessed with the idea that one day it breaks up // ’cause after that, i know i’ll never be as capable of love // after you

and then !! and then !!! ’be nice to me’ by the front bottoms is my favorite ever n its !! so so gojo !!!! reminds me sm of him and sugu ;(

if we all left it alone // i’m sure it’d work itself out fine // we keep playing with the numbers // we are running out of time

but you’re a killer // and i’m your best friend // think it’s unfair, your situation // you say i’m changing // sorry, i didn’t know i had to stay the same

and you’re a werewolf and i’m a full moon // and all your very worst enemies will be gone soon // i think you’re changing // don’t worry, you don’t gotta stay the same

(also …. ’fighter’ by jack stauber …. yeaaa. gojocoded)

call me fighter, i’ll mop the floor with you // call me lover, i’ll take you for a drink or two // you’ll get older, and maybe then you’ll feel some control

now as for geto …………. i think i have a billion angsty geto songs but tbh above all else hes so mitski coded. he IS mitski. ’last words of a shooting star’ and ’why didnt you stop me?’ were literally written for geto idc . this is just sooo …. T_T my doomed boy

all of this turbulance wasn’t forecasted // apologies from the intercom // and i am relieved that i’d left my room tidy // they’ll think of me kindly when they come for my things

they’ll never know how i’d stared at the dark in that room // with no thoughts // like a blood-sniffing shark

i always wanted to die clean and pretty // but i’d be too busy on working days // so i am relieved that the turbulance wasn’t forecasted // i couldn’t have changed anyways

i know that i ended it, but // why won’t you chase after me? // you know me better than i do // so why didn’t you stop me?

and then shoko !! hhh for some reason i associate her a lot w penelope scott … i think ’moonsickness’ especially !! and and and … ’ribs’ by lorde :( i think of her when i listen to it n then i cry. ’cigarettes out the window’ by tv girl is another one !!

blood clots, death camps, glitz and depressions // the business cycle and the tides // you fuckers know it’s all built on lies // but the beast refuses to die // and so i guess, well, neither can i

this dream isn’t feeling sweet // we’re reeling through the midnight streets // and i’ve never felt more alone // it feels so scary, getting old

and finally !!!! gumi !!!! :D ok so sel i know we both agree when i say hes the neighbourhood coded. like pretty boy, cry baby, softcore etc etc hes just sooo… yeah.

but !! for some reason i also rly rly associate him w beabadoobee ….. maybe just cuz i think he would like her music. ’apple cider’ makes me think of him everytime i listen to it, im not sure why it just feels so gumi to me ?? esp college gumi !! ’care’ is another beabadoobee song that reminds me of him

and i don’t even like you that much // wait, i do, fuck

you said you liked my hair // so go ahead and touch it // you said you liked the jumper i wore // and so i always wore it

so call me at midnight // ask you if it’s alright // to have a sleepover // to drink some apple cider // or maybe some fruit punch // and we can talk about how we don’t like each other that much

and then theres another one i cant really explain bc its just vibe based pahshhdh BUT … ’cool with you’ by newjeans is so gumi to me .

THIS WAS SO FUN ty for the question sel !!!! makes me wanna make playlists for everyone hhhh ….. 🥺🥺 my blorbos of all time

[harryfeatgaga]

Okay so.....I will try to keep it short and simple but no promises 💀 so I work with this couple. And they are ok for the most part (although they do be getting on my nerves quite frequently at work but whatever). But they are always a little too open about their personal lives. Like last year I went to the wife’s b-day party and she got so drunk she started getting all emotional and crying and she spilled all of this info about how they both used to be meth addicts and that the husband was abusive and shit back then 😭😭 they are also very open about how they are bi and polyamorous. Now I am bisexual myself (although I don’t really talk about that shit at work cause I just don’t consider myself that close to my coworkers 😭) and I don’t judge but myself???? Personally????? I just couldn’t be in a poly relationship/throuple. I’m way too jealous of a person honestly.

Anyway, Sunday after work my cousin (who also works at the same place) stopped me and we talked for a bit and she told me someone had a crush on me. Now tbh I kinda already knew this, but it was so much worse hearing it (his random jokes and comments are sometimes too flirty but I usually brushed it off). But she told me the husband has a crush on me............😭🤢🤮 LIKE..........I LIKE TALKING TO THE GUY SOMETIMES BUT I DO NOTTTTT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT AT ALL 😭😭😭 PLUS HE’S LIKE 15 YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND HAS KIDS SO LIKE?????? NO??????????? I REALLY JUST AINT INTO THE GUY LIKE THAT OK PLUS IF IM BEING HONEST HES NOT THAT GOOD LOOKING AND THERE HAVE BEEN A COUPLE OF TIMES WHERE HES GOTTEN TOO CLOSE TO TALK TO ME AND IVE NOTICED THAT HIS BREATH STINKS SO 😭😬💀

Now the wife has never said anything flirty to me or ever given any indication that she likes me like that. And from the way my cousin was talking to me, she ain’t interested in me like that (thank god). Like, we’re coworkers and that’s fucking weird plus again, for me I just can’t do a whole throuple thing or whatever and I have ZERO attraction to the guy 😭�� and idk it’s just been awkward seeing him at work the last couple of days now but what’s REALLY been bothering me is that he’s basically trying to invite himself along AS MY DAMN DATE to this event that I want to go to with JUST my family and friends. I think he found out about it bc I was (stupidly) talking about it with another coworker who wants to go (not with me though). Idk.......I’m just thinking I should have fucking quit this damn job a long time ago tbh 💀 but I guess the advice I want is HOW TF DO I DEAL WITH THIS?????!?!?!!?!!!!! Like........I want to make it clear in a polite but VERY FIRM way that I am Not Interested™ in him that way 😭 but I’m seriously not a confrontational person.......I don’t want to go to HR cause I’m not trying to make this a whole thing nor do I want anybody to find out it was me who reported this.....I can’t fucking lie and say I already have a significant other bc MY STUPID ASS ALREADY TOLD ANOTHER COWORKER WHO ASKED ME IF I WAS DATING ANYONE THAT I WAS SINGLE........IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!!!! UGGGGHHHH IDK PAIGE I HATE MEN AND I WANNA K*S RN 😭😭😭😓😓😓

Anonymous asked: Me: “I’ll keep it short and simple”

Also me: *sends you a whole ass book*

😭😭😭 IM SO SORRY BUT IM STRESSING HERE A LITTLE BIT 😭😭

OH. MANSDJCNBFHJV I would just straight up ignore them tbh they are just random co workers you dont owe them anything and who cares if you said your single if he or the wife are weird and ask about it just say you have a bf/gf or whatever there not gonna know either way! and just avoid them at all costs as much you can! good luck bestie! I work with a lot of weirdos too I seem to attract them you just gotta void and be stand offish if you have to!