#I knew it was a new game announcement I knew it wasn't time for potential dlc stuff yet I knew all of this

[v-iv-rusty]

I'm going to be completely honest I briefly thought that this specific shot of the new armored core trailer was the stone platform where you fight radagon and in those short few seconds before I realized it wasn't elden ring my soul fully fucking left my body

[grison-in-space]

Listening to Artificial Condition again, it strikes me how much Murderbot uses empathy reflexively as a survival skill. Look at this bit.

Upon meeting it, ART allows it on board and then announces that it knows that Murderbot is rogue. Then ART threatens to destroy it if it hacks ART's own systems. Murderbot is immediately terrified and shuts down all inputs, gives serious thought to spending the entire three month journey unconscious, and then considers the potential avenues of damage from ART's drones. ART, not realizing why Murderbot had suddenly gone silent, tells it to quit sulking, which understandably pisses off the still-terrified Murderbot. It dumps a bunch of memories of coercive treatment into ART's feed, and ART goes silent.

Then this happens:

Then it said, I’m sorry I frightened you. Okay, well. If you think I trusted that apology, you don’t know Murderbot. Most likely it was playing a game with me. I said, “I don’t want anything from you. I just want to ride to your next destination.” I’d explained that earlier, before it opened the hatch for me, but it was worth repeating. I felt it withdraw back behind its wall. I waited, and let my circulatory system purge the fear-generated chemicals. More time crawled by, and I started to get bored. Sitting here like this was too much like waiting in a cubicle after I’d been activated, waiting for the new clients to take delivery, for the next boring contract. If it was going to destroy me, at least I could get some media in before that happened. I started the new show again, but I was still too upset to enjoy it, so I stopped it and started rewatching an old episode of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon. After three episodes, I was calmer and reluctantly beginning to see the transport’s perspective. A SecUnit could cause it a lot of internal damage if it wasn’t careful, and rogue SecUnits were not exactly known for lying low and avoiding trouble. I hadn’t hurt the last transport I had taken a ride on, but it didn’t know that. I didn’t understand why it had let me aboard, if it really didn’t want to hurt me. I wouldn’t have trusted me, if I was a transport. Maybe it was like me, and it had taken an opportunity because it was there, not because it knew what it wanted.

The thing about Murderbot's survival is that it clearly involves quite a bit of negotiating with other constructs and bots. That's how it talks its way onto cargo hauler bots in the first place. It uses empathy--envisioning the emotional and cognitive context of the individuals it encounters--to work out what different kinds of people want, so that it can offer them fair trades. It also uses empathy to consider what humans might be looking for, so it can practice blending in and hide.

Murderbot would never have survived so long if it wasn't capable of assessing the individual desires of the people--human, bot, and construct--around it. It thinks about ART's probable fears and motivations so that it can consider whether ART is inherently an ongoing threat or a potential ally.

When your survival depends on evading detection, you get really good at assessing perceptual biases so that you can shape yourself to fit into them. People talk about murderbot being radically empathetic as a choice it makes, or as a feature of its personality that makes it a good person. But I think murderbot would be the the first person to tell you that this empathy is part of its threat assessment suite, a skill that was developed out of necessity in order to allow you to survive.

It is also a trait that makes murderbot a good person, of course: it chooses very carefully to try to survive by doing as little harm as possible and by offering things, like media, that buy it access to things it needs. But it started as a survival skill. It's part of hypervigilance.

I think one of the strengths of this series is that so many of the things we love about SecUnit are traits developed for survival in an inherently threatening world. The shape of its mind and heart have been changed by the trauma of its origin--but they don't make murderbot less good for being altered, even if that skill was developed in a traumatic context.

I like that.

[55sturn]

✮ SAYIN’ SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT

series masterlist!

paring: boston bruins player!chris sturniolo x fem!reader!

synopsis: in which y/n is greeted by a sudden revelation on the night of chris’ most anticipated game, the one that determines whether or not the bruins get into the playoffs and she’s left apologizing for the night that caused it all.

warnings: swearing, fluff, mentions and descriptions of violent fights, verbal arguments, unplanned pregnancy, discussion of abortions, comments from the other team and hecklers, open ending, angst, angst, angst, and more angst.

THIRD PERSON POV

to be in the limelight alone is tough. to be in it for something such a hockey, where a million and one eyes are watching your every move, scrutinizing every play you make, every workout you do to toughen your body and build your endurance for the tasking time spent on the ice is even tougher, but to do all of that with a public relationship is the toughest thing.

chris knew that announcing his relationship at the peak of his career with the boston bruins was not going to be easy. he had all eyes on him as the bruins' newest right winger, but not only was he the newest player, he was also the youngest to join in years.

just like connor mcdavid's rise to fame with the edmonton oilers, chris was in the spotlight and it wasn't easy. he was in the spotlight because he was a phenomenal player with a chipper attitude that most hockey players don't seem to have. he had been scouted at one of his toughest games in his college career and almost immediately the contracts began flowing and the drafting process had started.

as eyes of everyone involved in the hockey world began to shift to the star of what they called "the boston bruins' new era and future captain", so did the female attention. not only was chris good at what he did, but he was insanely good looking, at least to the younger female demographic that had taken an interest in hockey.

but he didn't care for the, for a lack of a better name, puck bunnies or the future hockey wives in training, he had his own hockey wife sitting front row in the v.i.p section at every game, smiling as she watched him zip back and forth between his teammates and the teammates that he was facing

as he announced who the mystery girl in his practice jersey at every game was, he faced an onslaught of even more hate disguised as criticism and scrutiny from devout bruins fans, potential drafting scouts, and anyone willing to spare an opinion. but as the rather distasteful comments rolled in, his skin grew thicker, because as long as he had her to go home to, he could handle it.

PRESENT TIME

chris sat on the bench in the hallway adorning the infamous bruins logos, each brick in the wall holding some sort of history of the team, twirling tape around the blade of his stick. he found the dressing room too stuffy right before a game, so he and john beecher sat outside the dressing room, joking amongst themselves as they prepared for the game.

"cmon man, you played big games before you'll be fine." john chuckled, handing chris back his spare roll of stick tape as chris sighed.

"i know, it's just a big fuckin' game tonight. haven't played montreal yet."

"wait this is your first game against montreal?"

"yes and as a boston native, i know this is the game, just don't wanna fuck up when this decides whether or not we make it to playoffs."

"kid you'll be fine, you've outdone mcdavid's first year and that's pretty fuckin' bizarre 'cause he's a powerhouse." beecher reassured, clapping the young right winger on the shoulder before heading back to the dressing room. chris stared at the wall across, still struggling to comprehend how his life has become the way it is, he's incredibly grateful for the opportunities he's gotten and proud of the work he's put in, it's just still hard to fathom.

sensing that she should give her boyfriend a quick visit before he went on to the ice, y/n made her way through the crowds of people, smiling at the fans that addressed her, politely declining to take pictures until after the game. she proudly donned a large "8" and the name "STURNIOLO" scrawled across the back of a black away-game jersey and black jeans and her trusty, yet dirty, air forces, proudly showing her support for the man she's loved for six years, since she was a small fourteen year old navigating her year of high school with the triplets by her side.

the thin plastic stick weighed heavy in the pocket of her hoodie she wore beneath the jersey, she was about to tell chris about it, to give him a little motivation to play extra hard. but when she spotted the reporter’s mic pointed toward his helmet covered face, she placed that idea on the back burner. smiling she approached chris,

“hey mister big shot.” she laughed, causing chris to grin as he introduced her to the reported as his girlfriend. the reporter quickly bid the couple goodbye, leaving them to have their moment together.

“hey so i’ve got some really good news for you.” y/n smiled, smoothing her hands over his shoulder pads as he tugged off his helmet, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips.

“listen i wanna go be apart of the chant so i need to go, can this news wait?”

“i guess so. give ‘em hell baby, i love you.”

“always ma, i love you.” chris replied, bouncing on his skates slightly before shoving his helmet back on, quickly shoving his way through the door leading to short hallway his team would walk through.

y/n stared at his back, watching him fade away as she was left to mull over the news she was about to tell chris. it was the start of his career and she didn’t want to derail it any, so the choice between telling him now or tell him in a month waged a violent war in her mind.

shaking her head, she made her way back to the staircase leading to the v.i.p section, as she wove through crowds of people, she heard the gasps and murmurs.

“that’s who the new bruins guy is dating? i won’t be shocked when he starts fucking the puck sluts in a month.”

“she looks out of place and that jersey is so unflattering on her.”

“i hope sturniolo comes to his senses and dumps her ass soon.”

scoffing, y/n climbed the stairs, pushing the overwhelmingly upsetting thoughts from her mind as she spotted nick and matt in their seats. breaking the news to someone was imperative to her, not telling someone would break her but she didn’t know whether she should tell someone before chris.

of course she and chris had talked about their views on starting a family together and the idea of raising a baby together but there was one issue,

chris wanted to wait until secured a long term contract with the bruins. he didn’t want anything to deter his plans. and y/n understood, he has worked so unbelievably hard to get to the position he’s in now. starting a family takes a lot of dedication, time, effort, and devotion without distractions. chris was concerned that if they had a baby early on in his professional hockey career, she’d be left alone to carry out so many of the responsibilities that being a parent brought on.

so as y/n made her way to her designated seat, her heart felt heavy. her doubts only grew with every step she took, and it felt like her body had been held down, it was as if she had cinder blocks chained to her ankles. as she sat beside nick, he picked up on her mood, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to see that sonething was bothering her though. nick bumped her elbow with his, as if to ask what’s wrong and she just smiled and shook her head.

mary-lou, who was sat behind y/n and her three sons, immediately knew what was going on. y/n had a certain glow to her, despite the sorrowful look that had become deeply etched into her skin. she knew that pained expression anywhere, she understood what the taut shoulders, pinched eyebrows, and distraught gleam in her eyes all too well. but the older woman put her excitement about becoming a grandmother off to the side, deciding she’d wait to gloat until y/n had accepted the idea her self.

the family conversed among themselves while the teams prepared to saunter out onto the ice, letting the fans get hyped up. a voice boomed from above, prompting cheers and hollers from the people taking up the stands.

“please welcome your home team, the boston bruins!” the commentator exclaimed, dragging out the words boston bruins in typical emcee fashion, allowing the fans and supporters chant for their team as he played the bruins’ intro song as they skated onto the ice one by one, the emcee announcing the names and numbers above the music.

y/n couldn’t help but lett the pride and excitement she felt show brightly on her face, despite the worries she suffered deep down. she was so incredibly proud of chris, him landing a secure spot on the bruins was a long time coming. it was his dream back in high school the moment he secured a spot on his high school’s team with ease. he was a natural born hockey player and it showed through the surplus of dedication he put into it. and y/n felt more than lucky to be there on the sidelines from the very beginning.

as the emcee asked from everyone to stand for the national anthem, a cheesy grin broke out on her face as chris stood on the offensive line facing the vip box, and pointed up to where he knew she’d be sitting before forming his hand into the best half heart possible that his bulky gloves would allow. she felt her cheeks warm with a deep blush as chris’ family playfully teased her for having their brother and son completely and unfalteringly whipped.

“shut up!” she laughed, her nerves drifting away as the game started. the excitement she never failed to feel at every single one of chris’ games, whether it was just him filling in for the local adult men’s teams or an exhibition game for his old college team, she was always filled with adrenaline as she stood and sat in the stands.

but that was expected when born into a city that favours the winter sport, you were either born with the excitement coursing through your veins or you were born with a deep hatred for it filling every crevice of your body. there was no in between.

y/n cheered along with chris’ family as he zipped, swerved, bobbed, and weaved up and down the ice. that was one thing that most players envied chris for, he was fast and slick, almost as if he was water slipping through your fingers.

and not only was he fast, he held great control over the puck as she moved down the ice, the puck never got away from him as he maneuvered it between players, alternating which side his stick was covering and pushing it.

there was fifteen seconds left in the second period and both montreal and boston held three goals each as chris stood for a moment back checking as his teammates guarding him, and with five seconds ticking down, he delivered a brutal slap shot, sending the puck into the net behind carey price who had dropped to block it a second too late.

the bruins fans’ side of the stands erupted in loud cheers, and so did y/n and chris’ family, his parents laughing giddily as matt made a backhanded comment about price being too old for goaltending.

“i will be right back, i have to use the washroom.” y/n interjects, letting nick know where she’d while the rest of them grabbed drinks.

“yo y/n, you drink budlight right?” justin hums, causing her stomach to drop, her usual habit of having a beer with them at chris’ games being something she hadn’t even considered.

“uh can you just grab me an iced tea? i’ve got an early appointment tomorrow and i’d rather not show up at my doctor’s smelling like beer.” she laughs nervously, causing justin to shrug and accept her answer before heading off to the concession stand near the entrance of the vip box.

“i’ll come with you, i’ve got to use the ladie’s room too.” mary-lou hums, smiling appreciatively as y/n waited for her.

however as they made their way to back of the section they were sitting in, mary-lou motioned for y/n to follow her out into the small hallway that lead to the smoking doors, it was empty as the two stood there.

“how far along are you?” mary-lou whispers, unable to withhold her suspicions any longer, and the abrupt question had y/n’s stomach twisting into more knots than it was already in.

“wha-how did you figure it out?”

“i’ve had my suspicions for a while, the last time you were over i heard you throwing up, and you’ve got the pregnancy glow. plus you’ve been wearing baggy clothes and you aren’t drinking tonight.”

“fuck. sorry for my language. but i think i’m about two and a half months along. last month i just thought my period was late because i was sick and when i get sick, my period is normally late. but then i missed this month’s too and it clicked.”

“have you told chris yet?” mary-lou spoke, her voice soft as she rest a reassuring hand on her future daughter in law’s arm as she shook her head.

“i wanted to tell him before the game, to give him a little motive to play harder but he didn’t want to miss the chant and pep talk so he left before i could say anything about it. i’ve got the test in my pocket and i know it’s not smart to go off just one test so that’s why i’m going to the doctor tomorrow.”

“well i think you should tell him, i think he’ll be happy.”

“that’s what i’m worried about, he wanted to wait until he secured a long term contract. we had this conversation about a month ago.”

“you can’t necessarily control these things. a family comes to be when it’s meant to happen, not when you want it to happen.”

mary-lou’s words stuck deep in y/n’s mind. she knew that chris’ mother was right. y/n had just wished her and chris were a bit more careful that drunken night in the hotel.

FLASHBACK

chris and y/n’s drunken giggles bounced off the walls as they pushed their way into their room. they had gone out for dinner with the team and eventually broke off on their own after swiping two of the complementary bottles of champagne that the teams managers had provided.

they stumbled through the city after hiding in an empty room in the banquet hall, chugging the nasty liquor as quick as they could handle on empty stomachs.

“god baby, you look so pretty in this dress, just wanna tear it off you.” chris rasped, his cheeks flushing and eyes drooping, from the alcohol, or the effect his girlfriend had on him, or maybe even both, she wasn’t quite sure. making him look all the more enticing to y/n.

“do it then.” y/n slurred back, pulling chris into a messy, sloppy, yet incredibly hot, like searingly hot, make out, chris’ hands roamed her body feverishly, unable to stay in one place very long.

as their ministration progressed, so did their desire for one another and the lingering buzz they had from the alcohol left room for a few less than sound decisions. chris drunkenly justified going in raw by saying “just wanna feel as close to you as possible.” and that was all the convincing y/n needed, but she made him promise to pull out in time.

but due to their inebriation, chris wasn’t quick enough but they had long forgotten it by the time morning came.

FLASHBACK OVER

and now she was paying the price for them being reckless. sighing, she made her way back to her seat just as the intermission ended and chris' team made their way back to the home bench, their net switching back to the end they started out on.

it wasn't too far into the third period when the canadiens were getting aggressive, the score was eight to five in favour of boston and montreal was getting mad that they were losing the game, the most awaited game since it was announced boston and montreal would be facing each other to land a bracket in the playoffs.

the fact that it was also playoff season made y/n's stomach twist even tighter, she felt sick. she was so scared she was going to fuck up chris' life plan and she couldn't bear that idea.

but her current worries were thrown on the back burner when she watched a much bigger player from montreal's team check chris, sending him flying back against the ice, his head ricocheting off the ice, leaving chris laying flat on the ice.

chris' coach calls a time-out while paramedics quickly make their way onto the ice, carrying chris off the ice, and before y/n could react, she was pushing her way through the bustling crowd and stomping down the stairs, quickly sprinting to chris' change room.

"i'm sorry ma'am but you can't be in here."

"i'm his fiance." y/n spits, pushing her way into the change room, immediately rushing to chris, raising her hand to play with his hair, pausing momentarily to silently ask for permission which was granted by him leaning into her touch.

"we're okay, if anything happens, we'll call for you." chris rasps, waving away the paramedics, sighing sadly after being told he's not allowed back on the ice for the rest of the game to prevent being knocked around again because he was highly vulnerable to getting a concussion right now.

"tell me something to distract me, baby." chris whispers, pulling y/n into his lap, the bulky padding beneath her feeling foreign as she leans her head on his shoulder.

"i'm not sure what to talk about." she laughs as he rubs his hand back and forth along her thigh.

"your news from earlier."

"oh." she squeaks, her voice almost inaudible as she realizes that it's now or never. sighing, she grabs the test out of her pocket from beneath the spare jersey she wore, placing it into chris' hand with a heartbroken expression and timid voice,

"we're pregnant, chris."

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[isaidlandowecanbeworldchampion]

Golden- Lost the Breakup Part 3

A/n: I'm on Uni break so please don't expect this level of productivity on a regular basis. BUT oh my god I had so much fun writing this one, Literally giggling and kicking my legs and everything.

Previous part // Next part

Oscar paced in his room. He’d only been back for two days and he had to leave for Spa in the morning. He couldn't decide which would be worse. Leaving you here, alone in such a fragile state; or taking you with him to Spa and potentially exposing you to Lando, and the media. 

He knew it wasn't his decision, but pure caution (and a bit of indulgence that you might want to be close to him) that you might say yes to attending with him, lead to him calling Zac. 

“Yes, Oscar.” Zac answers the phone groggily and Oscar belated realises the time. 

“Hi, sorry I know its late…” Oscar begins.

“Is anyone pregnant or dead?” Zac half jokes. 

“No.” Oscar sighs. “I need you to put down an extra person for the hotel in Belgium.” 

“Oscar you know we prefer having two weeks notice for personal guests to the weekend” 

“I know, I know” Oscar runs his hand through his hair. “It’s an unexpected situation.” 

“Getting a girlfriend is unexpected?” Another joke. 

“It's not a girlfriend” 

“Whatever it is. The hotel is fully booked.” 

“She can stay in my room… we’ll need separate beds.” 

“And a name to add to the booking?” 

“It’s y/n. If you can,  a room not near Lando?” Oscar knew he was pushing the boundaries of his bosses kindness.

“Oh.” Zac didn’t sound shocked. “If you don’t want Lando to know you’re together, why are you bringing her?” 

Oscar ran his hand through his hair again, “We’re not together.”

“You can call it whatever you like.” Zac laughs,  “ The room will be adjusted, I’ll have my assistant call the hotel.”

–

You can hear Oscar murmuring in his bedroom from your position on the sofa. In front of you, the television shows scenes from some monegasque news station. You curl further into the blanket, it smells like vanilla and cedarwood. Oscar appears in the doorway, his face a mix of hope and concern. 

“Do you want to come to Spa?” He asks, moving to sit next to you on the sofa. “I don't know how chill I am about leaving you here alone.” 

“I don’t want to see him but…” you sigh, “You’re right, I don't want to be here alone.”

“I already spoke to Zac.” Oscar absently begins to stroke your calf over the blanket. “He’ll organise a room away from Lando and you can watch from the hotel so nobody from the track will see you.” 

You hum, “How long do I have to decide?” 

“We leave tomorrow morning so…” He mimes checking a watch, although his wrist is bare. “ About 12 hours.”

You giggle a little at him, “I’ll come, I don’t want to be here alone” 

– 

The private plane was larger than you expected. Whenever you joined Lando at a race, he booked you a commercial flight, even if he was flying private with Max. Oscar had told you that you’d be flying with Alex, George and Logan. You fidget nervously, even though Lando had known them all his life, you didn’t know the men well. 

Logan was already on the plane when you arrived, and Oscar quickly settled into a conversation with him.  You gaze out the window at the wing and let your mind go blank for the first time in a while. You come back a while later to George and Alex greeting everyone as they boarded, Oscar stands to greet the men and you wave from your place by the window.Oscar sits back down next to you and places his hand on your knee.

“You okay?” 

You nod, “I’m okay.  I'm a bit nervous,  I’m not great on planes.” 

Oscar rubs your knee, “You’ll be alright. If anything happens we’ve got George, we can use him as a liferaft.’

You giggle and lean back in your seat, comforted for now. George and Alex glance at each other before announcing a game of Uno. You lose to George twice before giving up and curling up in your seat to take a quick nap. 

You wake up to Oscar gently shaking you. You curl into the strangely firm cushion your head was rested against. For a private plane, it had mighty uncomfortable seats. The pillow moved. You jumped back with a start, realising that your pillow was, in fact, Oscar’s chest. 

“ I am so sorry.” You rushed out, pressing yourself against the wall of the plane. 

Oscar laughed at your reaction, “It’s fine. You were tired and the seats are hardly made for sleeping in.” 

“Ummm” You blush, slightly. The plane is empty except for you two. “Where is everyone?” 

“We landed about 10 minutes ago,  they already disembarked”

You nod and begin to gather your things, “I’m sorry for sleeping on you.” 

“If you ever need a human pillow again, I’m happy to provide” Oscar jokes. Your face burns with embarrassment again. 

“I’ll just be thankful that there’ll be two beds at the hotel.” 

– 

“Oh for fucks sake” 

Oscar and you stand at the door of the room. The room that contained only one, queen sized bed. Oscar didn't say a word to you, leaving his bag and heading back to reception. 

He returned 20 minutes later and sighed as he closed the door. “So this is the only available room and they don’t have any beds spare to bring us another one. I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

“Absolutely not. You have a race, You need to sleep properly. I will sleep on the couch” 

“My mother would kill me. I’m taking the couch.” 

“No way” You murmur. “Not a chance.” 

You’re breathing deeply. Standing chest to chest. Oscar is looking right into your eyes. His eyes flick downwards, once. Standing so close you can see how long his eyelashes are; how golden his brown eyes look in this light, and lower his plush lips. They’re lightly chapped and for a moment you consider how they’d feel against yours. 

Oscar steps away and you immediately feel stupid. 

“You can… uh… have the couch then, if you insist” He turns towards the bathroom, “I feel gross after travelling, Gonna have a shower.” 

You don’t answer, beelining to the balcony. Suddenly you need more air than the small hotel room can provide. 

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[corruptedcaps]

Bitchy Besties: part 3

As Kate watched Tanya speed off around the corner and out of sight, she strutted confidently towards the school like she had seen Tanya do a hundred times. It wasn’t until she caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror that she realized what she was doing and finally dropped her bitchy facade. She had spent so much of the day as Kayleigh it was hard to shake her off entirely.

Retrieving the bag from her hiding spot she took one last look at Kayleigh in the mirror before stripping herself of all the elements that made her. The earrings, the necklace, the makeup, the clothes and finally the hair. The only thing she couldn’t take off were the new nails she had gotten but she made a mental note to at least file them down later.

All things that had previously felt odd and uncomfortable on her now gave her a pang of longing. She couldn't deny how much fun she had had with Tanya that day, having a friend who she was completely in sync with. But then she reminded herself that it wasn't Kate that Tanya was enamoured with, who she had found a kindred spirit in. No that was Kayleigh.

She should be happy to be back to being her normal self. And yet, getting home she threw herself onto her bed and began to feel conflicted and she couldn't understand why. She thought she hated girls like Tanya and before today the thoughts of being her friend was the last thing she wanted but something inside her was now pushing against that feeling, making her question herself.

Sitting up on the bed she looked at herself in her vanity mirror. She was at a crossroads. She could walk into school tomorrow as she had done for years being the same old Kate that others knew and ignored or she could strut in as Kayleigh, have a best friend and be popular and sought after. Looking down at her nails she had gotten with Tanya, the allure of the latter was obvious but she knew that she would be turning her back on the good part of herself and selling her soul to be a bitch. Could she do it?

The next morning Tanya sat into her seat in the back of her first class with her clique sitting around her. She should have felt like the queen she always felt like but for once she was feeling a little sad. She knew it had to do with Kayleigh. She had never clicked so easily and quickly with someone before and now surrounded by her betas she longed for the connection she had made with Kayleigh. Someone who upped her game. Another Alpha.

She looked around the class, considering for a moment the idea that any one of them could potentially be her bitchy bestie but her face quickly turned sour. The one silver lining was that the loser Kate who she loathed was apparently out sick as her seat was empty, although her creepy ex Cory was still here so maybe it wasn't all positive.

Tanya was daydreaming about transferring to Alpha Prep when their teacher called for attention.

"Now before we get started I have two quick announcements. First is that we have a new student starting today, so please give a warm welcome to Kayleigh." The teacher said starting an applause that was continued loudly by a now perked up Tanya.

Kayleigh strode into the class a vision in a tight black pants and even tighter black top outfit that she had bought yesterday with Tanya. Her steely gaze was only broken when she spotted Tanya and excitedly headed over to her.

"Rachel move over to that spare seat this instant! Kayleigh sits next to me from now on." Tanya said snapping at one of her insubordinates as Kayleigh arrived. Tanya stood up and embraced Kayleigh who returned the hug tightly.

"Oh babe I'm so glad you chose here, we are going to have the best senior year of all time." Tanya beamed as Kayleigh took her seat next to her.

"I just couldn't imagine having any fun anywhere else without a queen like you by my side." Kayleigh said.

"And now for the second announcement, I am sad to say that Kate, our highest GPA achiever, and her family have moved and so won't be joining us for her final year." The teacher said sadly before heading to his desk.

"This day just keeps getting better." Tanya said whispering to Kayleigh.

"Why? Who's Kate?" Kayleigh whispered back.

"Oh she was this loser nobody. As far as I'm concerned, this school got a massive upgrade with her gone and you in her place." Tanya said.

"I couldn't agree more." Kayleigh replied with a knowing smile.

As class was let out nearly an hour later, Tanya and Kayleigh were inseparable, walking together out of the classroom arm in arm while the rest of clique struggled to keep up. Kayleigh quickly asserted her dominance over the other girls and they fell in line loyally to their new co-Queen.

By noon the school was abuzz with gossip about the new girl Kayleigh. News quickly spread about her sexual history, her bitchy attitude and her beauty. The bullied lower class of the school had to know fear two mega babes.

“Tanya babes look at what this loser thinks passes for fashion these days, isn’t it tragic.” Kayleigh sneered at one unfortunate girl.

“Couldn’t agree more Kayleigh, her clothes, if you can come them that, are hurting my eyes.” Tanya replied coldly, shielding her eyes.

“You hear that dork, you’re physically hurting my Bestie, get lost before I physically hurt you.” Kayleigh said bearing down on the girl. Kayleigh felt her pussy tingle as she watched the girl flee. As soon as she was gone Kayleigh and Tanya giggled cruelly.

Before the end of the day the two of them could finish each other's sentences. Collectively they were soon known as 'Kayla', a two headed creature who was as formidable as they were beautiful.

However as connected to the hip as they were, Kayleigh excused herself near the end of the day for a moment and snuck into an empty classroom where inside she found Cory waiting.

"Alright loser you better have good news for me or I'll squeeze you puny dick into a cage. Although something tells me you'd only get off on that." Kayleigh snarled at Cory who had a strange mix of fear and arousal etched on his face.

"Y-yes of course. I hacked into the school system and added all of your, I mean, all of Kate's grades to yours. I also added you as a new transfer student and transferred Kate out of the school but you already know that." He said nervously awaiting her response.

"Good. Glad to see you're not entirely useless." She said distainfully as she turned to leave.

"A-aren't y-you going to t-thank me?" He said barely above a whisper but it was enough to stop her in her tracks.

"Excuse me?" She said wheeling around.

"W-well if it wasn't f-for me, you would h-have never p-put on the hair and b-become Kayleigh." He said, each word making him regret the last. In a flash she had her hand on his throat and was squeezing.

"Let's get on thing straight you pathetic worm, there is no magic hair, no transfer of power from Tanya to me or any bullshit like that. I just realised that I didn't want to be some loser nobody anymore, I didn't want to be an outcast freak like you. Kayleigh didn't take over Kate's body, Kate had stolen my body for 18 years. I just took it back, understand?" She said with genuine venom in her voice. Cory looked into her cold blue eyes and couldn't see Kate inside. He nodded feebly.

Dropping him to the floor, she walked slowly to the door still incensed, however she still needed him for one thing.

"Don't forget to hack into my father's workplace and give him that fat raise and promotion, I have a status to uphold." She said not even dignifying Cory with a look anymore but knew he was nodding intently. She couldn't waste anymore time, not when she had a school to run with her Bitchy Bestie.

THE END

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Flying Too Close To the Moon (a Baizhu character analysis)

Over a year ago now, in February of 2023, Genshin Impact's twitter account posted about a certain green-haired doctor from Liyue with a snake, announcing that he was at long last going to become playable. *narrator voice* Little did I know at that point just how much my life was going to be ruined changed by this man, something I never could have fathomed in all my time of playing before.

Today, by the time of Baizhu's birthday, almost a year since his release, he has never left my team and is one of my ultimate comfort characters... and at the same time, paradoxically, fills me with such intense feelings of dread, if I ever think just a little too hard about him for a little too long.

This is my experience with him.

From the beginning, I wasn't one of the people who had been anxiously awaiting for Baizhu's release. I'd always been curious about him, and thought he was beautiful (but lol who in this game isn't?), but there was practically nothing to know, and he appeared so little, so not being an existing fan, I didn't think much about him compared to other more prominent characters. With that first drip marketing, however, I was suddenly instantly intrigued:

"Regrettably, Baizhu cannot save all his patients — himself, for example. Herbalist Gui has mentioned that Baizhu's physical condition is extremely poor, and he often has to go back to his residence to rest after seeing patients. Even so, his smile never falters while in front of people. When Gui asked him about this, he replied, "If the doctor looks sick himself, how can his patients face their illnesses with confidence?" Day after day, Baizhu heals his patients. His ever-present smile hides the numerous bitter medicines he takes and the pain he suffers alone."

What's this, Baizhu is a doctor who is also sick himself? He has a chronic illness?? Finally I have a disabled character in a video game I can play as and relate to??? Not to mention the DELICIOUS angst potential the (absolutely devastating) last sentence held. Unfortunately, because my lazy ass rarely ever talks to npcs outside of quests, I was completely unaware of this very important little fact about Baizhu, learned via Herbalist Gui that had been in the game since literally 1.0, but to say that I was excited upon finally learning it now was an understatement. This changed everything, turning a character I had previously only had a passing interest in into someone I felt like I might be able to connect with, and a character I could truly call my own. Previously, my favorite Genshin character was Zhongli — he was my very first limited 5* and I started the game pretty much because I was interested in him lol — but just from this short summary alone, I had a strong feeling that Baizhu had the potential to surpass him, and become my new favorite.

My initial impressions from everything we knew about Baizhu pre-release (for how little that was) were that he was a kind, selfless doctor who didn't want others to see his weakness, but in secret was striving for immortality in order to save his own life from his severe illness. Qiqi seemed to be someone he observes to further his research in gaining said immortality, but his love and care for her still feels sincere, although he can never properly convey this in words because, to me at least, he's keeping himself at a distance from her and others so as to not hurt them too much if he passed away. Baizhu tearing out Qiqi's journal entry about him being a good person so that she doesn't dwell on and remember such things about him seemed to support this, as well.

Upon release, we also had Dainsleif's lines about Baizhu in his collected miscellany video, which made me emotional as well: Dain, someone who is cursed with and suffers daily from immortality that he never asked for, respects Baizhu's desire for immortality himself, because for him it would be freedom from the pain and suffering he already experiences, seemingly. Most people want immortality for selfish reasons, but for Baizhu, I thought, it's out of a desire to save his very life, and in turn save more people as a doctor in the future. It's human, understandable, and the mark of an incredibly caring and altruistic person, and Baizhu wanting to heal himself is something to be sympathized with, especially if you can relate to his pain.

This part in particular from his demo was so powerful to me: the defiance of his fate, of his death, and the display of his continued strength of will and resolve, and even skill in battle, no matter how physically weak he may be. Though he still has his doubts and his guilt, here he says "I will not die, I will beat the odds, and no one can decide my fate for me, nor can they shake my resolve."

All of this only made me love him more and more. I was hoping we would get to see his insecurities and fears about his condition and his possible fate, and that he would learn to allow himself to be cared for by those who loved him — to realize at least a little bit more that he will never be a burden on others, because the guilt over such things is all too real for someone with a disability or chronic illness. His non-spoiler voice lines were so comforting and hopeful, and I wanted his story to be hopeful as well, without going as far as to magically cure him like what unfortunately happened with Collei.

That was what I wanted. More or less, that was what I expected, especially with the copious other examples of the "overworked character learns they need to take a break and feel supported by the traveler" storyline in Genshin insert the waifu baizhu (waifzhu?) jokes here.

And then, I played Baizhu's story quest.

.....No image in the world can fully sum up exactly how I felt after that, but, well, I think Paimon here is the closest I can get.

I still remember it like it was yesterday. I remember standing there, at the bottom of the steps leading up to the pharmacy where the end of the quest left me, not knowing how to feel. Feeling completely numb. Feeling like I'd just gotten punched in the gut a million times over. Feeling sick. Call me overdramatic, too overly attached to fiction, whatever, but no words can possibly convey just how much the revelations about Baizhu in his quest fucked me up. I did not feel good for quite a few days after playing it, as it haunted me, as I turned it over and over again in my mind. Not just the information given itself, but how it was given; the entire tone of it all. At some point I was finally able to make myself cry, and it was only then that I felt at least marginally better. But I'd be lying if I said that I've ever truly and fully processed and let sunk in everything to do with Baizhu, even a year later.... and I doubt that I ever will.

Don't get me wrong: Baizhu's story quest is without a doubt one of the best story quests in the game so far, and that's not at all bias speaking. It's short, to the point, uses npcs effectively and in a way that helps develop the main character instead of taking all the spotlight over them, and it leaves setup for more story in the future. For a Baizhu fan, it's the best quality one could ask for. It's the most we've ever learned about him, the most screentime he's ever had, and it emotionally and tenderly shows exactly what kind of person he is, and why he is the way he is, and does the things he does.

It's also absolutely horrific, and to this day I'm still not entirely certain exactly what message the writers wanted the player to take away from it by the end.

The quest introduces us to a boy and his father, Ayu and Jialiang, the latter of whom Baizhu wishes to treat, partly as a personal favor to his late master and to said master's other past disciple, the mother of the family, Jiangli. Through Baizhu's handling of their case, and talking to Hu Tao, we learn that Baizhu is not only obsessed with attaining immortality, but that he supposedly uses less-than-reputable methods to heal patients, methods that he keeps tightly under wraps. This, along with all the strange research he does that seemingly has nothing to do with the medical field, has given him a suspicious reputation — the game subtly lampshading the fandom seeing him as nothing more than a sketchy snake doctor ever since the beginning — but no one has ever been able to dig deep enough to find any proof that he has any ulterior motives, not even Yelan; thus, the ultimate consensus is that he truly must be nothing more than a kind and benevolent doctor who has his patients' best interests at heart, no matter what else he's doing in the background. Upon Baizhu treating Jialiang for the first time, however, we’re directly confronted with this secret, dubious healing method he uses, and what exactly it means for Baizhu, as with all the masters that came before him.

To say my stomach dropped here would be an understatement, because I knew exactly what this meant. And sure enough, not a few minutes later in the quest, we get the dreaded truth:

Baizhu’s poor physical condition is not from natural causes; rather, he is as weak as he is because he’s made himself that way. Changsheng is a former adeptus he made a contract with, that allows the host to transfer some of their own life force from themselves to someone else, using Changsheng as the conduit. The contract is meant to strengthen the body of the host and extend their lifespan, however these advantages effects are outweighed by Baizhu, and all his predecessors before him, repeatedly giving away their life force to heal others, causing them to become frail and inevitably die young. The contract has always been used in this way, and all of its prior users all met the same untimely end; Baizhu is at no less risk of that.... which is why he wants to become immortal, so he can continue to heal people with the forbidden arte without fear of death.

This would already be a Lot as it is. Trading away one's life force to save another isn't exactly a brand new trope, but the idea of a doctor doing it over and over again to save lives when all else fails, even to the detriment of their own body.... It's the ultimate act of selflessness, of kindness, of sacrifice. It's touching. It's laudable. It's devastating, to a degree one can't even imagine.

Because Baizhu doesn't just stop there, as we find out at the end of the quest.

How do you expect me to read this—

and additionally this—

and also this...

...and not have it occupy my mind 24/7, sending me in a downward never-ending spiral of existential horror, for all of eternity?? just like Baizhu himself—

While it's heavily implied that all the contract users prior to Baizhu only ("only") used it one-way, to give their own life force to others, Baizhu has taken it a step further, and also been using Changsheng to transfer his patients' diseases and illnesses onto himself. This likely is a more effective way of "curing" some of them entirely, instead of simply delaying their symptoms' worsening with more life force, although he cannot take on the worst of them/terminal illnesses of course. But he has taken on so, so many, so many diseases and so many symptoms, all compounding and blending together to the point that Jiangli, another doctor just as skilled as Baizhu, cannot even distinguish them all or recognize some of them, that he might as well be terminal. Not only does Baizhu do this for the sake of his patients, but he's also using his body as a human petri dish, testing different diseases and poisons on himself to see how they interact with each other, both to create more effective medicines and understand the mechanisms of the human body better, and to perhaps find the secret to immortality.

This reveal at the end of the quest is presented as an awe-inspiring, poignant twist, that's meant to make you see Baizhu in a brand-new light. The animated cutscene is tear-jerking, bittersweet, yet beautiful, as we finally come to understand the full scope of just who Doctor Baizhu is, just how truly pure and selfless he is, and just how much he has sacrificed, and plans to sacrifice forevermore. Many people who weren't fans of Baizhu or were neutral on him had their minds completely changed upon this bombshell being dropped, it rightfully clearing away any and all misunderstandings about him somehow being a bad person, and fostering newfound respect for him. That's the best word to use for how the game portrays all this: respectable. Baizhu's situation is tragic, but his actions are nevertheless shown and seen as beautiful, and admirable. His self-sacrifice is to be praised, and honored, because he is doing it for the good of so many others, because his heart is just that big, and that caring. It's bittersweet, but Baizhu is determined, and we should respect his resolve.

But should we really?

Yelan would disagree, I believe. Which is ironic, considering that in her own story quest, Baizhu transfers poison into himself from Uncle Tian with her there, and she is none the wiser.

Just... really stop and think about the implications of what Baizhu is doing to himself, and the life he lives. Try to imagine it, how it would feel, to be inundated with that many diseases and toxins, to the point that all of your internal organs are diseased; to the point that you have every symptom imaginable, sometimes all at once. Now, take that, and imagine living that kind of hell with it progressively worsening, for all of eternity, as Baizhu wants to do.

You can't fathom it. To say that it's beyond human comprehension is an understatement. And yet, that is Baizhu's reality, every single day, and if he has his way, for the rest of time.

This is not okay.

What truly frightens me about Baizhu, is how.... empty he feels. He is kind, gentle, nurturing, and a bit flamboyant and mischievous at times, but he has essentially no personality traits or life outside of "being a doctor". All of his voicelines involve him giving health advice, or looking after us or others, or discussing the troubles he encounters in the medical field, or his hobbies, which involve... making medicine. While there's nothing wrong per se with a doctor truly enjoying their job — it's what makes Baizhu such a good caretaker, after all — their life and personality never revolves entirely around that. People have their own lives outside of their professions, that don't involve said professions, even the most enthusiastic and genuine of workers. But Baizhu..... doesn't have anything else. For Baizhu, being a doctor is all that he is.

Nothing is more subtly chilling than this joke Changsheng makes (that gets reinforced by Paimon later), where she calls Baizhu her "mannequin" — and especially the way that Baizhu doesn't comment on it at all, merely continuing to look like a guilty child getting scolded for being reckless. Because a mannequin is an eerily accurate description of Baizhu: he is not a person of his own, but merely a vessel for her power. "Baizhu" does not exist outside of his role as a healer; he has no other life, no other aspirations, no other joys and things to care about, nothing. Even though he's a pillar in Liyue Harbor that is beloved by the community, especially by the children, he's also in a sense practically a ghost: he is never seen outside of taking care of people in some way, because he never lets anyone see him at his sickest, and he has no sense of self outside of that role as a doctor. He is distanced from everyone, almost as though he was already immortal.... he could die at any time, frighteningly easily, and to him, no one would notice or care. As depressing as it is, even Qiqi, a literal zombie, is more alive and has a much more fulfilling life at this point than Baizhu does.

Many of Baizhu's voicelines are dripping with casual self-deprecation, and others with extreme hypocrisy, where he will express frustration and disappointment at others not being diligent in taking care of themselves, completely oblivious to his own extreme levels of self-harm and self-sacrifice. Of course, as mentioned earlier, feelings of inadequacy and being a burden are tragically not unusual for someone with significant health problems, but it goes far, far beyond this for Baizhu, before he was ever ill — all the way back to his childhood. Baizhu's hometown was struck by a plague when he was young, from which he was seemingly one of the only survivors, and his obsession with wanting to save each and every life he comes across that needs saving, no matter the cost to himself, is likely born from the trauma and extreme survivor's guilt that the event instilled in him. It was during this plague that he encountered his former master, and in training under and being influenced by him, he adopted these harmful mentalities (through no fault of his or his master, to be clear), without ever being given any other way to cope with his pain, other than to do everything in his power to never let anyone else die ever again.

Again, Yanfei sums it up best.

The true tragedy of Baizhu is that, although he wholeheartedly agrees with his late master's sentiment, and truly believes that he himself is headed down a different path from his predecessors, at the end of the day, he is no different from them, nor is his chosen path any different from theirs. As he states, those with the most altruistic and purest of hearts are the ones seduced by the contract, and he, too, has fallen victim to Changsheng's siren song: the allure of reaching beyond human means to prevent death. He believes he has found the solution to the conundrum of saving both the world at large and the one doing the saving, but he's merely fallen into the trap just like all the others: even if he doesn't die, he is still sacrificing himself, cursing himself to a fate unimaginably worse than death itself. After all, as he says, the contract can't erase pain from the world entirely, but merely transfer it from one place to another, and Baizhu is living proof of that. If his master could see what he's doing, he most definitely would be heartbroken at the "answer" Baizhu has found, because a life isn't saved if it's merely surviving, and not living.

All of this began from Baizhu, selfless and benevolent as he is, wishing to save a snake. Changsheng is a dear friend, a being so closely intertwined with his very soul, and his closest connection to his late master, and yet she is also the very thing that's killing him, and will inevitably be his doom, in whichever way that comes. Baizhu being who he is means he will never abandon her, and Changsheng will never leave him as well, her worry over the fate of her host overwhelmed by her fear of death and her desire to live on, which is how the contract has persisted for six generations. It is a toxic bond, and yet their care for each other is too great, both parties accepting the misery that awaits them. Changsheng knows that any of the cycles could be her last, but cannot help but seek out new ones in order to continue living — and Baizhu intends to make that "last" be a reality, by living forever, to make sure that Changsheng will also never die, but also that no one else can take on the contract after him. He wants his cake and to eat it too, wishing to save anyone and everyone — and he fully believes that he can. He believes that he is headed towards the light of the moon, escaping the flames of the sun.

But the moon is still ever-so-far away regardless. Perhaps even impossible to reach, if Teyvat's sky truly is fake. No matter where he aims, even if he isn't burned, Baizhu is destined to fall eventually, if he keeps going the way he is. Many people have tried to warn him, to convince him that immortality isn't what he deserves, to convince him of how much he's loved... but Baizhu is too stubborn; too, ironically, selfish in his selflessness. He insists he has everything under control, that he won't let himself die... but how can anyone believe that, when all the signs suggest that he's already on death's door? And even if he does get his wish, and be granted immortality, will he truly be content like he thinks he will, endlessly suffering with only Changsheng by his side?

I don't think the writers ever intended to glorify Baizhu's actions, or at least, I don't think it occurred to them that it could be read in that way. I do still mean it when I say he is one of the best-written characters in the game, because there is so much care given to him in his story quest and to his lore, even if, frustratingly and tragically, Hoyoverse as a whole doesn't seem to care about him at all. He's so fun to play as, and in isolation, it makes me very happy to have a canonically disabled playable character. But I'm also so, so haunted by him, and I think more people would be as well, if the game didn't gloss over the incredibly bleak reality of Baizhu and his symptoms due to the overall lighthearted tone of Genshin. I desperately need to see where they're going to take his arc, if they intend to at all, because there is so much potential for it, and right now it's very much up in the air. I don't want him to die, as I fear he's close to, but I need him to heal, and finally learn that he's done enough, and that he can finally, finally, stop. Stop torturing himself, and finally accept for himself all the love he's given others for so long now, and live. I want Baizhu to live more than anything, and not the way he is now, nor as a cursed immortal. I want him to live, and thrive, and truly, unapologetically, be himself (whoever that "Baizhu" is), and be happy.

He already has someone worth living for, right here, aside from Changsheng. He has a daughter, a family, who love him, not to mention an entire city, and and I dearly wish he could realize that. I wish he could know how comforting he is to me and so many others, and how important he is to us, not because of what he can do, but because of his beautiful heart. 💔

Happy Birthday, Baizhu. Thank you for being such an incredible healer on my team, and I hope we'll see you in Chenyu Vale one day :')💚

[usedpidemo]

so i went to my first ever concert and...(storytime!)

Generally speaking, I don't like the concept of concerts. For the longest time, I've never had any interest in attending one. I've been disillusioned by the idea of them as a whole, with no disrespect to people who attend them. Even before the global pandemic that shut down live events, ironically, despite being on my headphones/speakers 90% of the time, I don't like crowds and extremely loud audiences. It also doesn't help that many live artists nowadays are just not good stage performers or lipsync or in some cases, aren't as pleasing to hear as the studio mix that I could easily play on Spotify. My mantra, which has always been my mother's as well, was "Just listen to the CD." This also explains why I don't really buy CDs anymore and stick to streaming instead.

It's now 2023, and as the old adage goes, things change. I've become a K-pop fan, live events are back, and there's this push to have me leave my house a lot more than I should. I'm no recluse like Bruce Wayne, but I certainly don't like going out when I could be relaxing and playing video games in my spare time even as an adult. Growing up made me realize that there's plenty of things that I should do, even at least once. I'm nowhere close to dying—I think so at least—but I definitely felt the need add some spice into my life and have some fresh memories to keep now that the pandemic's over.

Anyway—I've never been to a concert, and my older sister's only concert experience was seeing Fall Out Boy when she was in her teens that she desperately begged mom to see, and she was all the way up into the nosebleeds. Now obviously I can't go and see IZ*ONE anymore (sadblob) and every big act carries extremely large demand for them. My sister failed to secure Blackpink tickets for their tour even with the membership presale, and the experience was so frustrating and damning that she stopped listening to the group for a while. There's so many things that can go wrong even as early as ticket sales, so I understood that any concert I wanted to go to should be absolutely worth it.

It was during our vacation back in February when IVE announced that they would be bringing their fan concert around Asia, with June as the set date. I can remember seeing it trend on Twitter while waiting in the car; the hype was fucking real. I knew I had to be there by any means necessary. The campaign began as soon as we got back to our hotel. They said yes.

One thing I want to say is: fuck online ticketing. It sucks, big time. Anything that can go wrong, can and will go wrong. Yet some part of me was so uncertain and wanted to test the murky waters again. I got in touch with a third party way before they announced the ticket selling date, and I was so fixated on the success rate of the seller, against the advice of my family. It wasn't until two days before ticket selling that I was given a proper talk, saying that it could be a potential scam and that I should camp out the night before to get the best chances. Ultimately, I gave in and settled at a hotel close to a hotel without many fans. They ended up being right. I ended up first in line and got the best package for a little over $200. It was so difficult to keep my composure the moment I got the tickets all the way till I got home.

Fast forward to a little over a month. The family also booked me a nice hotel close to the venue days before the show so we wouldn't have to face insufferable traffic. I couldn't sleep the night before the show—not because I was excited and all, but I was genuinely feeling restless. It ultimately didn't matter as my mood and overall energy never diminished once I woke up 2.5 hours after finally sleeping.

You just know it's gonna be a good day when the first sign is making new friends out of nowhere. At breakfast, I befriended two Japanese tourists for some reason. My smile was wider than it normally was. It's so weird greeting people with amped up optimism that at times, it felt like main character energy, which was typically uncharacteristic of me. Mind you, I only had 2.5 hours of sleep.

An hour later, venue time—at least close to it. The concert organizers and local fanclubs held a fanhub that was already filling up the floor with a line that stretched around in a loop. So I bailed and went to the cafe across the street from where the actual concert would happen to get free shit. Saved myself almost $25 dollars from buying the I'VE IVE album because of a cupsleeve event being organized by a remnant of WIZ*ONEs. A big W if you ask me.

I even met up with some of my readers too! Cray and Nomad, if you're reading this, it was great finally meeting you. It was awesome to fanboy and connect with guys I've been talking to online for the past two years in person.

Afterward, we went inside an hour before show start, and people were already screaming like they showed up and it was just staff bringing out towels and water bottles. Then the lights went out and holy shit, everyone lost their shit. It wasn't a sold-out show but the audience's energy made it feel otherwise. They were singing instead of following fan-chants.

It should surprise no one that everyone killed it. Yujin is the 4th gen ace and no one can tell me any different. Wonyoung was absolutely fantastic in crowd control and drawing the audience in and lived up to the center title. They added both title tracks from I'VE IVE and changed up two of the cover songs for the unit stages, otherwise the set remains mostly similar to the ones in Korea and Japan, the only difference being new outfits and alternate color ones.

I'm gonna dedicate this section specifically for Liz. Consider me bias wrecked. She was not only an elite vocalist but she performed like the rent was due, holy shit. Blue Blood (my favorite stage of the night) in particular really gripped me and never let go. I was genuinely shook at how terrific she showed out in the performances. If anything, she's the 2nd best performer of the group after watching the footage.

There was an emotional moment at the end as the show was winding down. The members were lined up for the group photo when a fan video played and half of the members cried. Leeseo, Rei, and Yujin all cried and it was a wholesome scene. Rei mentioned how this was one of their first performances as a full group following her health hiatus and she was moved by the overwhelming support of the fans. Wonyoung also promised they would return—hopefully later than sooner I'm not loaded at the moment—which invalidates the stupid argument international Dives were having on Twitter. The girls felt their support, cried their heart out, and that's all you need to know.

After the event, there was a hi-bye session for all VIP ticket holders. They sent everyone else out, so it started 20 minutes after the actual ending. They kept reminding us that we weren't allowed to record or take photos of the event, but apparently someone at Starship was filming the whole thing? So there's a possibility that I might end up on YouTube, heh. Since we were on the left side of the stage, we were among the last to go up and meet them.

Holy fuck dude. I wasn't nervous while watching everyone else go up and meet IVE, but once the staff told us to form a single line and we slowly made our way around the stage, my heart began to go buckwild. You just don't know what to say or do when that moment comes—like how do I make this memorable or at the very least, not cringe? One thing I do know was that we all agreed, as a section, to walk past them as slow as humanly possible; five seconds was not enough. I was so unsure of what to do as I slowly walked up the steps to the point I was practically mouthing 'Jesus take the wheel' or else I'd melt into a puddle, lose my shit, do something stupid, or maybe all of the above.

Jesus Christ. They looked so fucking flawless. You honestly couldn't tell they were sweaty and exhausted after performing for 2.5 hours.

From left to right, it was Rei, Gaeul, Wonyoung, Yujin, Leeseo, and Liz. Liz was the first member I met, and she completed my half-heart gesture. From there, my brain blanked for a good three seconds. My mouth was still uttering 'Kamsahamnida' but that scene seemed to stick long past that moment. I couldn't register Leeseo, Yujin, and Wonyoung's reactions—I knew they were smiling and waving—but then my brain suddenly went back up as I met Gaeul and Rei's eyes right as we made our way out. I went to the bathroom and uttered a relieved, awestruck 'Holy shit.'

God. I don't know if I will ever move on from such an experience. I'm still thinking about the interaction as I write this little thought diary, and my mind keeps replaying the interactions with Liz, Gaeul, and Rei. All of them had lovely smiles and were so happy even though they clearly were gassed out, and I was in utter shock trying to comprehend what had happened. Famous streamer IShowSpeed met his hero Ronaldo the same day as the concert and if you've seen his video, he practically plays out all the emotions I wanted to feel after meeting them. I've not played any K-pop after the concert aside from English versions of songs and most certainly I've avoided IVE songs aside from rewatching my concert fancams because I'll just melt into a giddy pile of goo watching it, telling myself 'I was there.'

My sister only listens to Blackpink. She agreed to take me to the venue provided I buy her tickets, so this was a consolation or redemption of sorts after failing to secure tickets for the Born Pink tour. She's a Dive now. She couldn't stop raving over Wonyoung's beauty but she eventually found all the members to be cute and beautiful. It feels great to finally share a sweet moment with my sister despite the turbulent relationship we have.

In an ideal world, I'll be watching Le sserafim and the other IZ*ONE members when they perform/arrive here. Of course, there's many obstacles in the way, and I'm not loaded with disposable income. Seriously, these tickets were more expensive than a veteran group and they're supposed to be rookies! But the entire experience—the energy, the performances, and the ending—made every coin I spent worth it. If this ends up becoming the only concert I attend in my entire life moving forward, I'm glad it was an unforgettable one.

Gaeul, Yujin, Rei, Wonyoung, Liz, and Leeseo, thank you for making my year and giving me a core memory I can fondly look back on. I fucking love you guys.

[simp999]

A New Home Ch.31

Various! Splatoon manga x Skilled! Isekai'd! Reader

Wc: 1.6k

A/N: oooh game time chat

Back to the start! Previous Next

It wasn't difficult for Milo to convince everyone to go to bed early, knowing they needed their energy. Tomorrow's battle was at 1 pm, but you'd all be waking up early enough to get a good breakfast and an early lunch in, as well as a good stretch session.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The following morning came quick, Milo gently waking you up the same way he did the others. His warm smile at the beginning of the day was the perfect way to start it- a nice breakfast following after a while of slowly waking up with some morning cartoons. You snuggled up with Leo during those, and you remember Milo watching out for you two by saying:

"Don't get too cozy now. We don't want you falling back asleep."

You and Leo sat on the ground in front of the TV to eat your breakfasts, Milo and Tasha on the couch behind you. Leo sure seemed to enjoy his yogurt, honey, and nuts- light enough on the stomach for him. You all just had easy enough breakfasts as well.

Time seemed to go so slow in the moment, but so quick when you'd look at the clock. Before you knew it, there was a half-hour left before you had to leave for your battle- early of course. You tried brainstorming what strategies the Blue team tended to use.

With a small snap of your fingers, you reminded your team to not falter. You needed to be able to adapt to anything, and your strategy of not working individually allowed for that. Unless they could somehow manage to get you to split up, but you doubted it.

Now, what else had to be covered? You rested your head in the palm of your hand, jolting up as a thought passed. You almost wanted to laugh at the idea, but it was genuine.

"Hey. So... you all know how Goggles tends to... surprise people?"

Leo tilts his head, Tasha squints her eyes, and Milo has a slight look of concern meshed with a sigh.

"I just think we should wear belts to avoid any incidents is all. I'm sure you all understand."

You give a slight chuckle even if what you were talking about was no joke. Before leaving, they're all wearing belts. Tasha already had hers back from her old Black Inky Rider, and the other two had them hidden under their hoodies. There, that potential issue is solved, as silly as it is.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You catch Team Blue entering Deca tower while your family continues to ramble and discuss anything amongst themselves, offering goggles a confident smile. His eyes light up and he shouts a 'good luck!' towards your team paired with a wave, to which you reply with an upwards nod.

You turn back around to take a sharp breath in. This is really happening. You can taste the battle against emp- against that asshole of a brother. But first, you need to take down your friends. And due to that fact, it may be one of your toughest yet. Not because of their skill level, but because of your bonds. You know Leo and Milo especially tend to be bad for it.

You were allowed an extra minute to stand at your starting point before the battle began. So there you stood, looking at every nook and cranny of the stage you already knew like the back of your hand from where you stood. And- oh.

Right.

Them.

This is quite a big battle, with an even bigger crowd.

Filled with your idols.

No, no. Your acquaintances- your friends. Your battle partners, your rivals. You were close with them, it's okay, they were coming to support you; or were they there to support Goggles? Or to be neutral?

That sure is a lot of people, the most that you've ever seen in a crowd for your team.

What if you mess up in front of the people you admire so much?

You've only got one chance.

A snap of some fingers in front of your face brings you back to reality, followed by Leo's voice, then the announcers claiming 15 seconds left.

The crowd began to count down as well.

Your breathing hitched, and the grip on your weapon tightened. Your hands shook.

Milo quickly grabbed your hand in his for only a second, offering you a reassuring look.

"Those are our fans, Boss. Our fans. They're cheering for us."

With 10 seconds left before it was time, you took another shaky breath. 5 seconds and you shook your head. 3, and your eyes were laser-focused on the stage before you, knowing exactly where to go, according to plan.

As usual, you followed Leo in first, then Milo and Tasha trailed behind. Tasha set up her area, Milo staying back to ink base a bit. If need be, he could always superjump back if nobody inked it before the end.

You swiftly turned your head and took cover the moment you heard Leo take damage. He was only nicked and dodged just in time, just it seemed headphones was getting more skilled with her aim. You caught the little jump she did on her following shot. Unfortunately, Leo dodge-rolled closer to her, leading them into an unplanned 1v1. Or maybe he wanted this the whole time? Right up his alley for him to try something like that.

You sighed and left it at that, seeing that you had Milo as backup now that he was done inking part of the base. Goggles seemed to barrel right towards you. No issue- you could easily take him dow- oh?

Now that was unexpected.

He hadn't shot one drop of ink towards you, but instead went straight for Milo. Did they hear your strategy or something?

Fine then, do it their way.

You're confident in your family.-

...

'Did Leo just get splatted? So much for that.'

'Okay! From the top,' you think as Leo superjumps to Tasha.

'Let's try this again, shall we?'

You end up coming face to face with Specs. Leader versus leader- you're not too surprised. Your weapon's mobility likely isn't as good as Specs' unless you've got the same weapon, so you've decided to attempt something you've seen in an anime once.

...That sounds horribly unrealistic now that you think of it. This is the worst time to be attempting new things.

You think back on your training.

Is it that new?

You close your eyes, and Specs hesitates for a moment.

You hone into all the sounds around you, but you zero in on the sound of his brush and whatever exhausted noises he makes. With that, you send ink flying his way when he's close enough, sending him to respawn quickly. It takes nothing before he superjumps back to a teammate, but this allowed you time to regroup and push.

You glance over at Leo, charging in together once again, this time taking each of your rivals on by your own choice. You easily allow Goggles to slip by to Milo once again, all a part of the plan.

With that, Goggles and specs go down at the same time. Tasha covers Leo's mistake, sending Headphones to respawn milliseconds after. That's okay- the plan will still work.

Now that leaves bobble hat against the four of you- time for the fun part.

As mean as it may seem, you all aim your weapons towards her, and wait.

And with perfect precision, one loud SPLAT was heard, obliterating them all in one shot.

Now THAT is called Superjump camping! You and Leo shoot eachother a grin as you push while you have the time, gaining two-thirds of the stage.

One minute left.

Tasha's on fire when it comes to covering any mistakes, knocking down any opponents as they cross "Tasha's Territory" as Leo calls it. Everyone uses their specials continuously when they can, earning them some nice splats.

And suddenly you feel cold, and can't hear anything but a soft ringing.

No, no! You glance towards the crowd- your idols,- they all just saw that screw up, how embarassing...

When did she-? Ooh, sneaky girl. But that's alright, Tasha will cover- no, Headphones is staying just out of range.

That's still okay, you'll just superjump to Leo.

SPLAT!

Okay, that's fine. Leo goes down the most often anyway. You're still stronger than them. You can always superjump to Milo-

SPLAT!

And then there was one.

Oh, those sneaky idiots. They better not be attempting your own tactic against you. You quickly assess, and warn Milo not to superjump while you do and tell Leo to rush in on his own.

You lost 1/3th of your turf in that time. If you had to guess, you were now at 28% to 42%.

Damn it.

You bite your lip as you look at the time. 30 seconds remaining.

It's not over, you remember as Leo shouts with.. Excitement? He's smiling. You glance over at the opposing team- they are too. Not out of malice, but because they're having fun.

So this is attempt two. You take down Specs once again, and Team Blue already sees where this is going, retreating a bit too far.

Maybe you have more than one chance.

10.

You hear the crowd shout, but it doesn't register. Your fans aren't your main focus right now. You push as hard as you can up until the last second, watching Leo get splatted in front of you right at the end, adding unexpected blue ink.

You anxiously stood as Judd and Lil judd tallied up the marks, it was too tough to see, even for a player as experiences as you. Dread filled your tummy as you watched, even feeling a bit sick. Goggles bounced on his heels, he seemed a bit too excited for how you were feeling right now.

And so, after what felt like hours of waiting, a flag was raised.

.

.

.

Feb.24.24

Next part

[jaeberry-smoothie]

don’t know how i got here (but i’m all alone)

summary: was it too much to ask not to be around a man who used to eye fuck your sister while professing his feelings for you?

fics that inspired this one

title: just a waste by pinkpantheress

____________________________________________

truthfully, edwina doesn't know when her feelings toward her... prior engagement turned into a wave of scalding hot anger. it felt like one day she was fine; she could laugh and smile easily.

even if no one noticed how her eyes lacked their usual shine.

she was accepting invitations to the brigerton house.

even if it makes her skin crawl to be near anthony once more.

she was attending balls and dancing with potential suitors once more.

even if she knew those same men whispered behind her back.

edwina brushed off the first embers of resentment that began to form in her. she was a rational thinker who had read extensively on the mind and man. unsurprisingly, her situation with lord bridgerton is causing her current negative feelings.

knowing it was kate that held his affection did not make the situation better.

however, as the new season progressed, edwina became less inclined to accept her sister's request for a visit. she felt more obligated to burn the parchment with each invitation. why must kate insist on forcing this blending of families? was it not kate who let the farce between anthony and edwina go on? was it not anthony who purposely pursued her, knowing he wanted her fucking sister?

(once, after everything was...better, kate admitted to sleeping with him before edwina's wedding ceremony. edwina didn't know whether to strangle her, laugh, or cry. god, what a fucking idiot she was.)

after a few narrow yet successful attempts at avoiding the bridgerton house, amma finally talks with her.

('ed, would you care to tell me what is wrong, my love?' 'nothing, amma. i am fine.' cue a fake smile. her mother does not falter.

'why have you not been visiting your sister as of late? she thinks you are terribly upset with her.' fake smile falters.

'i have been busy, amma, with suitors.' they both stare at each other.

they both know that edwina is a ruined girl.)

amma does not bring up the topic again and must have told kate as the contents of her invitations include discussing future prospects. edwina scoffs. as if kate's antics last season did not ruin her so-called prospects. no man wants a woman with a bloodhound for a sister, and no man especially wants a woman who runs from the altar.

god, she was truly fucked, wasn't she?

as the days continued and her discontent grew, edwina could finally root out the cause of her horrible disposition.

betrayal.

every single goddamn person around her betrayed her. everyone around her knew about kate and anthony's affection for one another. they saw her play the love-blind fool and said nothing.

not her mother.

not lady danbury.

not even her fucking sister.

hell, none of the bridgerton siblings could muster up the courage to tell what she was too dumb to see. with how rambunctious they are, she's surprised none of them blurted it out during that blasted game of pallmall.

she sees it later, however.

how everyone subtly looks at her when anthony shares a kiss with kate.

how eloise tries to engage in discussion with her about their latest reads.

how daphne always has a sad smile for edwina every time they see each other.

how anthony doesn't even look at her when making the announcement about kate's pregnancy.

how her mother gives her a look of pity at each rejected invitation to the bridgerton house.

it's such a shame that edwina did not know whether to scream, cry, or break something once her emotions hit her at total capacity. she is lucky for the presence of the moon, as she can scream into her pillow all night.

i'm just a shame

i'm just a waste

it's the way it is

'cause my mama said

[vanilla-blessing]

qb's top 10 seasonal anime of 2022

2022 in anime was a year of many known quantities, but what really ended up sticking out were the shows few saw coming before they took the world by storm, and before we knew it, everyone was watching a guitar-playing pink blob with severe anxiety while drawing her band on every album cover ever made. 2022 was the year I watched a new Gundam for the first time, I experienced unforgettable trash gems like Pride of Orange, ESTAB-LIFE, and Extreme Hearts, and I was let down more by the wasted potential of the Biscuit Hammer anime than any anime I've ever watched, easily. All considered, this year was unusually good on average for the shows I finished, so I ended up with a glut of series I wanted to put on this list that I had to cut down for time. I would make this list longer, but you know, then it might come out in 2024.

Top 10 in order:

Cyberpunk Edgerunners - Studio TRIGGER's take on the world of Cyberpunk 2077 was an unexpected contender - it was announced so long ago I sort of forgot about it, I wasn't expecting much from the batch release of a Netflix-Trigger anime after BNA's messy release, I underestimated the potential of Cyberpunk 2077 as a setting after the very public trash fire of the video game, and it should have been overshadowed by the next thing after a quick Netflix dump in the middle of a season. Should have had its lunch eaten by the similarly edgy violent action of Chainsawman, should have been yet another failed videogame anime, but none of this stopped Cyberpunk Edgerunners from being the anime I enjoyed the most from 2022.

Bocchi the Rock - the breakout hit school band anime of 2022 was also relatively unexpected, although I at least knew it was stacked with talented animators going in, I didn't predict the sheer memetic power of the result. This series shatters the fourth wall over its knee and livens up an already pretty funny manga with demented, free-flowing gags in a particular way that wouldn't work at all without detailed and well planned sequences which come off so naturally it's hard to believe this was originally a (lightly subversive but still) 4 panel strip. The album cover redraws were the best thing to come out of Bocchi and I hope they never end.

Pop Team Epic 2 - some kind of fucked up comic strip but aoi shouta is there? I thought they promised they wouldn't make this

Mob Psycho 100 III - everything I said about the second season of the popular shonen manga adaptation but moreso, it finishes out the series in exactly the way I hoped it would. Third OP is just mad flexing. look how many hands we can draw. Episode 8 changed my life forever. knowing they nailed the landing retroactively improves the whole series for me.

Do It Yourself - original anime by studio PINE JAM, DIY is pure aesthetic hobby-ani with a mildly entertaining cast of extremely animated characters. very enjoyable but may not have enough momentum or things happening for some. soundtrack is another standout by y0c1e but at a noticeably different speed from Gleipnir and Spyce.

Kaguya-sama Love is War: Ultra Romantic - everything I said about the second season of the popular romcom manga adaptation but moreso, it reaches the climactic peak of the series in exactly the way I hoped it would. I'm still reeling from the entire rap battle episode (sub and dub), and can't believe the Starship Troopers ED was real.

My Dress Up Darling (Sono Bisque Doll wa Koi wo Suru) - excellent manga adaptation, effectively gets across the dangerously horny but strangely wholesome vibe of the series.

The Demon Girl Next Door Season 2 - everything I said about the first season of the popular magical girl romcom manga adaptation but moreso, it reaches an inflection point in the manga with exactly the same manic pacing and blatant disregard for breathing room I hoped it would. out of everything else on my list I hope the most this one gets another season, because it kind of needs it.

Mobile Suit Gundam: Witch from Mercury - original anime in the long-running GUNDAM series which is sort of like Robot Jox for kids. This is definitely the first time I've watched anything from Gundam before it was completed and I immediately regretted not having more to watch as a direct consequence. Half of my enjoyment right now is coming from experiencing it in tandem with the rest of the internet, but it's sure to hold up in retrospect as one of the best modern Gundam seasons. Look forward to a future very annoying post by me claiming g-witch ripped off Granbelm.

Call of the Night - another above and beyond manga adaptation, probably the anime OP of the year. It strongly intensified my longing for studio SHAFT to not be dead anymore.

Assorted Shoutouts

Going by rating number scale rules, Chainsawman and Spy X Family should be here, but I'm not going by rating, I'm going by what I feel deserves more attention. those anime already have too much recognition.

The Executioner and Her Way of Life (Shokei Shoujo no Virgin Road) - If you asked me what the most hidden gem is from 2022, this is what I would answer immediately. Irresponsibly complicated and unusual take on the hated isekai genre in the most disrespectful way possible, twisting anything familiar about that tired setting into an unrecognizable pretzel shape. Recommending this is a challenge, because the less I explain the better it is, but nobody would want to watch this on its face. Everyone should watch it though.

Ya Boy Kongming - banger soundtrack and some eye-popping color choice elevates this manga adaptation from average to a certified Cool Time.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: STONE OCEAN - My favorite (not best) Jojo part, the anime greatly improves the readability of the last third from the manga. Tokyo Mew Mew New - It's almost comforting how little they tried to update the love triangle of incredibly shit boyfriends in this remarkably normal magical girl anime reboot. I pleaded for someone to make a normal regular magical girl anime reboot and they delivered something totally acceptable.

Reiwa Di Gi Charat - Dejiko drags society kicking and screaming into the Reiwa era. This is the anime of all time of 1999, 2022 and 2023.

qb - friend of the no show (@queuebae on twitter still, unfortunately)

[offrozenmemoirs]

"Nelia, it's almost insulting to think you can outmaneuver and outthink me. No matter what anyone says, I am looming in each corner in every room you feel safe in; I see through every window you glance out of from paranoia; I am present and everywhere without lifting a finger. It's your own guilt that makes me all the more powerful over you." You hear the deep sigh. You can imagine that crude man rubbing the bridge of his nose. Disappointedly, like always. "It won't be long before you come home with your tail between your legs when you realize how pointless this is."

Voices in the Void || Accepting!

"I am so fucking tired of you being a paranoid asshole."

Creed had been long tormented by visions and dreams like this. She'd grown used to her brother's patronizing and demeaning behavior. She knows that it stems from his resentment over being passed over by their ancestor Vadu, not given her blessing. The firstborn had always been blessed by the Lady of the Crossroads. Then again, besides their grandfather, Ariortos had been one of the firstborn to be a male in a long time. Helios had similarly been passed over in favor of the second-born, his sister.

After all, House Zarin, was above all else, a matriarchy. Rafan had similarly been passed over, but given that her parents prayed to Vadu, offering whatever they could, she showed more loyalty to their ancestor than her parents, and now worked as a headhunter, to hunt down those who reneged on their deals with the Lady of the Crossroads. It wasn't until she was born, that Vadu decided to bless her.

It was said that the Lady of the Crossroads was a fickle mistress, after all, she was likely to do things purely out of amusement, just as she was to pursue her own agenda. As far as she was concerned, Vadu occupied a firm spot within Avernus, of course, she kept an eye out for those who would try to replace her, and made sure her displeasure was swiftly and firmly known to any potential rivals.

House Zarin itself thrived on those who were ambitious, and in that sense, Ariortos embodied it perfectly, but just because he was her blood, didn't mean that he would have her favor. Learning that had been something of a heartbreaking revelation for him. Even when Creed discovered her lack of magic ability, causing her to be shunned by family, he had been there for her, along with Rafan. Ariortos would encourage her to be more ambitious, to show their parents that they were wrong to simply discard her.

"When are you gonna learn that I don't give a shit about how this house is led? That I don't care to participate in whatever game you have going on?! I just want to be free to live my life the way I want!"

Creed was more frustrated than anything, he encouraged her ambition once, then he found that godsdamned letter. She can remember it clearly, reading that her father wanted her to lead House Zarin into a better future. She remembers the rage she felt at having such an expectation placed upon her. She hadn't thought about her parents for years after their deaths. She knew that Ariortos had killed them, encouraged by their grandfather, and in that sense, perfectly embodying the ambition expected of a member of their house. Shortly after, he was announced to be the new head of the family, representing them in all matters.

"Something you need to learn Nelia, is that even with a lack of magic, that doesn't mean you're worth less. No matter what Grandfather may say, I know how smart you are. If a bit shy, you simply need that intellect to be cultivated, encouraged."

Beneath all of the anger however, there was a sadness. Even if Ariortos was distant, he showed care for his siblings in his own way. Even when he was enraged at being passed over, it was never at them. He was protective of them, and any perceived threats to his siblings would have been met with cutting words, or unfortunate accidents.

All the siblings of House Zarin weren't overly close with one another, but in times of need, they would all be there to help when needed. Well, save for Liyan and herself. Those two were always in contact with one another in some manner. Though their career as a traveling bard left them often moving from one place to another. Creed herself never took root in one place for too long, after all, for all intents and purposes, she would forever be a wandering monk.

"I remember when you would encourage me to seek answers to everything that I wondered about. You wanted me to always challenge myself, and I did! I always pushed the limits of my knowledge! That's why my alchemical solutions were so damned good! Why my experiments with bringing my resistance to being poisoned worked! That godsdamned letter ruined everything between us!"

Once again, the legacy of House Zarin reared its ugly head, causing problems. She wishes that they could be a normal family, that they could have dinners with one another, share stories of their travels and adventures. She wishes that she could talk to her brother about how her life has been, how much she's grown! She wishes that for once, they could just ask each other if they've been living well.

"I miss my brother. I miss when I could come to you for advice, or when you'd tell me about things to look into to find breakthroughs on things that were stumping me. I wish you knew how much this hurt, how agonizing the reality of us coming to blows is. But then again, maybe I never really knew you. Maybe the caring, helpful brother I thought I knew never existed."

Creed wants to say more, to let her thoughts be known, but she is quickly bought back to reality as she wakes up, and clenches her fist.

"Great. Now I'm just going to have to live with this until I get a chance to get it all out."

The tiefling quickly gets to her feet, throwing her coat on. She needed to get this anger out, or else it'll just eat her alive. She climbs out of her tent, wandering off into the forest. A good workout will distract her enough to think about better things...At least that's what she hopes.

[aquata-the-champ]

Saturday, November 9 — Background NPC: Write about a moment of your character’s life from the perspective of an NPC character.

Break | Oneshot

24 October, 2012

Aquata was such a pain to play doubles with.

Sure, she had a killer backhand, and she knew how to hit game-winners when everyone else on the court was exhausted. She was ranked second on the team, despite being younger than most of them, and she was probably coming for first once Tobin graduated. So of course she had to be on the doubles roster. But god, did they really have to stick her with Ryan?

"So, like, there's this thing called communicating when you're going after the ball," Ryan remarked as they both flopped on the bench between games. Aquata was dumping a whole bottle of water over her head. "Hey, are you listening to me?"

"Just read my body language. It's not hard," Aquata retorted snootily.

"I can read your body language, not your mind," Ryan grumbled.

"Okay, well, how about this? If the ball's loose, go after it. That's sort of how tennis works."

God, she was so infuriating. As soon as this match was over, Ryan was going to march right over to Coach and demand a new doubles partner. One who wasn't a total pill. Although she wasn't totally sure Coach would listen to her. Or that Ryan would even get up the guts to do it. Ryan was ranked fifth on the team, and she didn't enjoy arguing the way Aquata seemed to.

"Yeah, well, when I miss another alley ball because I thought you had it and you didn't, don't act like it's my fault."

"But it will be your fault. You're back court, that's your whole job."

"No, my job is to-"

"Second set!" the umpire announced.

The rest of the set proceeded pretty much the same way the first had. As Ryan had predicted, Aquata chased everything, jumping for volleys and lunging for balls that she really should have left to Ryan. It was impossible for Ryan to predict where she'd go, so when Aquata missed, Ryan was often already on the other side of the court.

"You're playing singles tennis with me as backup. You need to play doubles tennis," Ryan hissed as they both stalked off the court toward their waters.

"I don't need coaching from you, Ryan," Aquata sneered in a way that made Ryan feel very small, even though she was older than Aquata.

The worst part of this all was that it was an important game for the team. If it wasn't, Ryan probably would have been happy to lose just to prove the point. But Swynlake Secondary needed this match if they wanted to move onto the finals. And Ryan knew she and Aquata were letting everyone down.

Ryan glanced over at Coach, who was watching with pursed lips. Ryan was probably going to get the blame for this, since she was ranked lower than Aquata, and objectively worse at singles tennis.

"I need the two of you to switch positions," Coach declared.

"What?" Aquata argued. "My volleys are the only thing keeping us in this game. You need me up there. It's not my fault Ryan can't cover the back court-"

"I'm covering, I just can't be a million places at once! If Q would just say-"

"Look, we really don't have time to argue," Coach cut in. "Ryan, you're up at the net. Aquata, you're in the back. It'd be great if you would stop blaming each other and actually played like a team, too. But if you can't, at least show me some decent tennis."

And then she was gone. Ryan sighed, her gaze wandering over to the opposing duo. They seemed to be giggling together, occasionally sneaking glances over at the Swynlake Secondary bench.

"Are they talking about us?" Aquata whispered.

"Uh, yeah, probably."

"Those bitches."

Ryan sighed. "I mean... look, we're playing like shit out there. Coach literally just said so."

"I'm not-"

"Oh my god, can you get off your high horse for one second and actually have a moment of, like, self-reflection? If we were both playing to our potential, we'd be winning right now!" Ryan exploded. She'd really tried to hold back, since picking a fight courtside seemed like a bad idea. But she couldn't do it anymore. "Coach is right. We need to start acting like a team. The fact that they can clearly tell we're pissed at each other isn't helping. You're a brilliant tennis player, Q, a brilliant singles player, but you're never gonna fucking succeed at doubles unless you learn what doubles even is! So, yeah, I'm gonna cover the net, you're gonna cover back court, and I'm gonna call it when I need you to go after a ball instead of me. Got it?"

Aquata blinked at her, as though shocked that many words could even come out of Ryan's mouth. Had Ryan finally gotten through to her?

Hard to tell. Aquata steeled her expression and marched toward the back of the court.

It was the second set, now, and if they lost, it was over. But if they won, they would go to a third, and they'd have a shot actually at winning the match. Ryan bounced on the balls of her feet, a little uncertain at the net despite how confidently she'd told Q that Coach had the right idea putting her here. Time to prove it.

The opposing server sent a screamer toward the back court, on the opposite side from Ryan. She knew she'd never make it in time. "All yours!" Ryan called, and Aquata smashed it right back. It was an impressive backhand hit, but the opponent on Ryan's side of the court lobbed it back easily. Ryan caught it with her racquet, slapping the ball down the center of the court.

As the rally continued, it was clear that the girls on the opposing team had a much better rapport, but their individual skills were about even with Aquata and Ryan's level. Aquata was probably superior, even. And that made it all the more frustrating. Ryan knew she was right— if they were both playing to their potential, they'd easily be winning by now.

Which they weren't, but it soon became evident that Coach's switch-up was helping. Aquata had monster endurance and power, and Ryan was learning which balls were best left to her. Aquata played powerful tennis, but Ryan played smart tennis. And as their styles began to gel more, the two clawed their way to a deuce— 5-5.

If they could get ahead by two games, they wouldn't win. But they'd force a third set, and maybe even win it.

"Martinelli's favoring her left side," Ryan commented as they grabbed water between games.

"You think so?" Aquata frowned.

"Yeah. Target that."

And shocker of all shockers, Aquata actually took her advice.

With a sneaky back corner shot, Aquata clinched the sixth game. And now it was all down to this. Break. If they won this game, they'd...

Continue. They wouldn't win, but they'd continue. And that was enough for Ryan.

As they hydrated ahead of the thirteenth game, Ryan cast a glance at Aquata. She was a pain to work with, but maybe not entirely impossible. The younger student clearly had a chip on her shoulder, but losing the first set had maybe pointed her in the right direction. Sometimes, losing was the best thing that ever happened to you, because it reminded you that you were human.

Ryan really didn't want to lose this game, though.

The game seemed to go on forever. The opposing team wasn't going down without a fight, but neither was Swynlake Secondary. Soon, the other games had begun to wrap up, and they even had a crowd. The lights over the court flickered on. Ryan pulled her ponytail tighter. It all came down to this. She wasn't fighting for a trophy. She was fighting for survival.

"We're not losing," Aquata muttered as they reset their positions. "Not fucking now."

"We're not," Ryan repeated. It was only a set, but it felt like it had been a whole season's worth of change over those thirteen games.

Sometimes, you declare that you're not losing, and you lose anyway. Sometimes, luck or fate or whatever you call it takes control, and you lose anyway. In sport, you can only control what you can control. Ryan had learned that from years on the court, years that Aquata didn't have quite as many of. Ryan hoped this would be a memorable one, though. One that taught her something.

Anyway, this wasn't one of those times. But it wasn't Aquata who smashed the winning point across the court. It was Martinelli, who hit a wild ball far beyond the back line.

A win was a win. Without really thinking about it, Ryan ran for Aquata, and they embraced.

"Okay, but we still have to win a whole other set," Aquata said finally, laughing to herself.

"One thing at a time, Triton," Ryan laughed. "C'mon, let's get some water. We're not dead. That's something."

[gabenvrhappened]

MoviesOr... Red, White and Royal Blue

The first time I read about Red, White and Royal Blue, it was described as a soft porn book, like the TV shows Netflix usually makes, so I never really paid attention or wanted to read it. Then, Amazon Prime announced they would be adapting the book, and I got curious because reading is one thing, but seeing those two fine actors doing it, that's what I really wanted. So I watched some teasers, saw that it was going to be Rated R, and waited patiently (not much, as soon as the days were getting close) for August 11th.

What was then my surprise to see that there was nothing soft porn there? Maybe Amazon saw the potential of having a big LGBT+ movie and decided to make it more family-friendly? Who knows… I don't hate the idea, it's good to make it available for more audience, but I surelly kept thinking about what we lost. But that was the only thing that made me disappointed. The rest? Perfection. I didn't think I would enjoy the movie so much like I did. I didn't think it would make me smile all the way through like Heartstopper did days before. And it was fun to see what is usually a teenage theme — loving someone you can't have because they're in the closet — in a mature environment, especially involving politics and royalty.

In this romance story, we met two young politicians from two of the most famous, and controversial, countries in the world. Alex, from the all powerful and omnipresent United States, and Henry from the London weird and unnecessary for today's standards monarchy. The rest? Is history, and I bet they can make some.

The biggest reason the movie works so well is the casting. How sensational are the two lead actors? They're charming, and they work so well together, with their sexual tension and jokes. I already knew Nicholas Galitzine from the Handsome Devil movie (that I'm still not over the fact that it didn't end with a kiss), so I knew he would deliver, but Taylor Perez was a surprise for me. I never paid attention to him on the terrible The Kissing Booth trilogy, which is good. We didn't get soft porn, but we got an ass, and although it wasn't from Nicholas (what a shame), it was from Taylor, so all is forgiven. Another person who steals the movie is Sarah Shahi with her incredible role as the President's Assistant. Her presence is incredible and every single scene that she’s in is fascinating, charming and piercing. And I also liked Rachel Hilson's part, who I met in Love, Victor.

In all its perfection, and in its two hours of fair good pace and development, the only criticism I have for the movie is how things were resolved. Even though the focus was on the love of the two main characters, still, part of the tension was on how their love affair would have consequences, especially around the monarchy. Sadly, none of this was explored in the movie (I'm not sure if it's explored in the book as well, so if it's not, then it has the same flaw). It's impractical to think that people would march in front of Buckingham Palace to celebrate their love so easily, not when the idea of a Royal Family revolves around racist and abusive behaviors. I know it's a piece of fiction, and I know the political rules and games the movie portrays are far simpler than they are in reality, but still, the movie sets the tone of being placed in the world as we know it, so the way all is solved really makes the ending weaker.

Again, this is not that big of a problem, but I wonder if Amazon regrets not turning this into a limited series. Not only could those problems be solved, but they could have also extend the story a bit further and gain more exposure from the fandom. Even so, the highs are much higher than the lows. There are so many amazing scenes, like the falling of the cake, the New Year's party where they're the only ones standing for seconds, the museum dance, and the hug on the stairs when everything is falling apart. I felt like I was inside Taylor's song London Boy, and now I want a Royal Blue heart all to myself. God, how I love the English.

[speedywombatpsychicpasta]

'Scaramouche’s Reaction To You Saving For Him’ SAGAU

'Scaramouche's Reaction To You Saving For Him' (SAGAU!Scaramouche x Reader)

Word count- 766

A/N- It was just too good of an opportunity to pass on. I think that after retrieving the gnosis, Scaramouche would have trouble processing his feelings. He wouldn’t know what most of them mean and would be mad about it.

@fatuifucker​ I hope you like it. As a Scaramouche wanter as well, I can’t wait for 3.3.

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

Here you were again, farming primogems like you usually did. Just to ensure that when his banner finally comes you'd have enough to get him. 

It was funny, really, how enthralled the players were when they first encountered him. How he was the character who gained the most popularity in the shortest amount of time, despite not even being announced as playable yet. How everyone seemed to adore him, even though his appearances in the game so far have been short and scarce. He had everyone's attention. And there you were, dutifully farming once again for none other than him.

In the beginning, he didn't pay you much attention. He still didn't like to admit it, but with time you had grown on him. You and your stubborn determination to farm for a character whose banner has not even been announced! How much foolish can you get? He would stifle a smile whenever he thought of it. Has it never occurred to you that he might not even become playable? Did you really want him that much that you saved for months only on the off chance that one day he'd get his own banner?

The irony of it was ridiculous. The defective puppet, discarded by his own mother, stripped of his very heart, now adored by so many. And most importantly you. So single-minded in your pursuit of gathering enough to have him join your team. He did so much wrong, going as far as being responsible for the death of that NPC you were friends with. What was his name again? He honestly didn't even remember. And La Signora too. Didn't you like her as well? Either you were the stupidest person he's ever met or the most forgiving. The first. Definitely, the first… 

So why did it make him feel so wrong? He couldn't make much sense of human emotion, but this was different. It wasn't like the anger he had been acquainted with for so long. This feeling was new, and it made his chest hurt whenever he saw that big, dumb grin plastered over your face after you obtained enough for another pull. He'd have time to figure that out after he'd join you. 

After he ran away with Ei's gnosis, he's been experiencing a lot more emotions that he's unfamiliar with. It was the first time he's ever felt fear. Or anxiousness.

Rumors were floating all around. And then it happened. The news of the redesign. His element was said to be changed to Anemo. Scaramouche scoffed. He clearly looked more suited for Electro. The players were unhappy. More and more stopped saving for him. 'He's wielding the wrong element,' they'd say. 'I wanted an Electro catalyst! I have no use for another Anemo unit!'

Abandoned once again. The few who stuck around were skeptical. Not only was he said to have an Anemo Vision, but some spoke of a potential redesign. He didn't want one. He was happy with his current outfit, and the players seemed happy as well. It was a disaster. He watched most of them slowly give up and spend their savings on other characters. Then there was you. Stupid, stubborn you. Banner after banner, you resisted the temptation to pull. Instead, you kept saving and saving, going past 100 Intertwined Fates and still not stopping. 'I want to get his weapon too!' You really were something else. 

His banner was said to come in version 3.3. Reruns of your favorite characters came and went, and still, your will didn't falter. What if he was Anemo? You still wanted him. What if he got a redesign? You knew you'd like him regardless. Hell, he could even become a healer and you'd still main him! It made Scaramouche's 'heart' ache. 

There was still a long way until 3.3, and perhaps you'd change your mind about him. He didn’t think he could bring himself to hate you, even if you did. But you gave him hope- something that he never thought he'd have and he found himself latching onto it, afraid of what would happen if it would be ripped away. Unbeknownst to you, with every new pull you saved for, he was there, cheering for you.

'You can do this!' 

'Come on, that commission is not even that hard…'

'You're skipping Childe's rerun? Hah! Suck it, ginger!'

'Spiral Abyss, really? You can't even beat the 11th floor? I bet I would clear it in no time without breaking a sweat. That's why you need me!

So wait for me…

Don't you dare leave me too!'

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

[foibles-fables]

talanah: the case of the omitted hfw companion

soooo @meg-noel-art and I have finally connected the dots we haven't connected shit re: Talanah's conspicuously short and choppy quest line, along with her overall unsatisfying departure from the game (in lieu of joining the base team). We now hold with 99.9999% confidence that Talanah was fully intended to be included a member of the base, either with a different ending to her quest line, or a different quest line altogether.

As we all know, the early (earliest!!!) promo--the GG Instagram splash posted in tandem with the 2020 HFW Announcement trailer--featured her in exclusivity as a returning character. While this official promo art has since been retconned, it still appears on the inside of the steelbook case with the special preorder additions, as well as on a bunch of GG's official ad material (the Twitch stream header, for example). Her comic was also being released at the same time as all of these dealings, culminating in one final confirmatory line: Talanah's story will continue in Horizon Forbidden West.

Now. I won't get into how I do or do not view any of the returning characters' stories as...real or satisfying continuations in HFW. But it's pretty objective to say that Talanah's was decidedly Not. Without even diving once again into the characterization issues (of which there are plentymorethanseveral), both of her quests give us nothing more than a recap of the comic. Seriously, every dialogue wheel we get with her and with Amadis provides a summary of what happened in The Sunhawk. Nothing new learned, no growth made. Story Not Continued, Same Story Rehashed. It's conspicuously not what we were promised, and not what (IMO) GG knew the fans wanted. I think that's pretty clear, regardless of your view on anything related to her character.

So, what the hell happened? Why was this the product were were given?

Easy: it wasn't at all the product that was intended in early baseline development.

There's a pretty glaring complication re: Talanah's integration into HFW--Freya Parker (her hilarious and lovely VA, seriously go check her out) began shooting Jurassic World: Dominion in February/March 2020. And uhhh we all know what was going on right around then, lmao. So not only does this become a scheduling issue, but a quarantine issue as well. Actor travel during projects was likely a huge ordeal, and Freya's actual studio time was probably vastly limited. Combine these challenges with an already-bloated cast load, and...it becomes pretty obvious which character needed to have their role diminished by degrees. Freya can't get to the studio and dedicate much time--we don't get a Carja base member.

One can pick up hints of this around the base. How almost every character (even new bloods Zo and Kotallo) bring her up at length in the "Companions" speech option, even if they're never mocapped in the same room. The item left at the base, when no other non-members get that treatment. How every single thing about her quest's epilogue and beyond reads like a huge "sorry sorry sorry we're sorry" from the devs ("until next time," "I wish she could have stayed," etc.). It's a consolation for what they had intended--fuller tribal representation, balance among the new and old cast members, a true continuation of Talanah's story.

So what does this mean? Well, yeah, it means that I'm still disappointed and that it's still okay to be disappointed. But having a more rational explanation beyond "this was probably the plan the whole time :))))) she's really not THAT important after all just accept your dinner :)))) oh look the writers forgot about her :))))) i ordered you a new clown nose :)))))" makes me feel a whole lot more optimistic for her potentially having a bigger comeback role in HZ3. We must stay focused, brothers. Shoutout Freya Parker.

[chasingpj]

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐤

pairing: percy jackson x child of aphrodite! gn reader

requested?: yup!

warnings: mentions of underage drinking, one curse word, and mentions of sexual tension

category: fluff, shy boy x obviously interested girl trope

a/n: don't mind me I'm just projecting and I got carried away

you’re not sure what gravitated you to percy more

the crystal green eyes, the freckles over his nose, the disheveled dark curls, or his clumsiness

the first time you laid eyes on him, he was walking back to his cabin after sword-fighting practice

his tan skin gleamed in the sunlight as a hand came up to swipe away the damp hair sticking on his forehead

for an action so mundane, it made your stomach flutter like crazy

and then the beauty of the moment was ruined right when he trips over the steps of his cabin

you heard stories of the kid killing the minotaur, blowing up a volcano, and rumors of being the suspected child of a huge prophecy

yet, he was not immune from tripping over his feet

and you’re sure the dorky charm of that moment made you think, he’s mine

for the next few days, you were determined to approach him

but you didn’t just want to come up to him and introduce yourself; that would be too plain and forgettable

you ended up finding your opportunity during a capture the flag game

silena gave you instructions to distract percy, and you headed over strong, ready to make your first impression while also taking him down for your team

sure, he had water powers and done a bunch of cool things, but your father made sure you were well trained in sword fighting and martial arts even before you knew about the camp

you planned to take him by surprise, and luckily it worked

with ruthless attacks, it didn’t take long for you to sweep him off his feet and knock his sword out of his hand

by pressing the flat of your sword under his chin, you forced him to look up at you, and you peered into those clear green eyes

gods, he’s cute, you thought

“hey,” you said

percy was stunned, not sure if it was because you effortlessly took him down or if it was because you were one of the prettiest girls he’s ever seen

“... hi,” he sputtered, gawking for a moment as you offered your hand

you swore you felt sparks when his fingers brush across your palm... even though the contact was a little sweaty

in the distance, you heard the satyrs blow the horn and the roars of celebration from your team

“i should go back to the others. catch you later, ocean eyes,” you flirted

percy’s shoulders tensed up when you blew him a kiss; awkwardly frozen in his place as you waited

“well, are you going to catch it? you can’t just let my kiss fly away.”

percy shifted on his feet, not sure if you were serious or not, but when you held your ground with arms folded over your chest, it was clear that’s what you were waiting for

and so with a flushed face, percy awkwardly grabbed the air in the front of him, and you couldn’t help but giggle

“good, i wouldn’t want it flying to a stranger,” you commented playfully. “you know, i don’t really like this whole outdoor camp life thing, but seeing your pretty face around here makes it a lot better”

“uh… oh, thanks?” he stammered, not having the words to respond

you winked at him before walking off, more than satisfied with your first impression

after that, you were contemplating your next move

children of aphrodite can see all the possibilities in a potential relationship

you were able to see you and percy eating ice cream in central park, holding hands at camp, a shy kiss on your first date

you wanted all of it, and you going to make sure you get it

of course, silena and your siblings were your wing women

if percy was in the strawberry fields, you were picking strawberries beside him

in the fields, you got to know him and his sarcastic humor, which made your crush flourish

you even took sword fighting classes at the same time as him and made sure he was your partner most of the time

whenever you had a chance, you’d affectionately fix his hair or his armor just to hear his shy thank you’s

he’s never had a girl show this much interest in him, so you definitely made him a little nervous, but despite that, he opened up to you pretty quick

sometimes he’d help you out in the stables, and you noticed how he’d fumble with the harnesses or knock things over when you would flirt with him

you loved his reactions so much that you always took it up a notch just to see how he’d react

you suppose the pegasi didn’t make percy’s shyness any better

there were times where he’d shush them, or the tips of his ears would grow even more flushed at a neigh or huff from one of the pegasuses

as the summer came to an end, you gave percy your email and made sure you stayed in touch

you didn’t live very far from one another, but you didn’t dare ask to hangout

you wanted to be asked first!

and you were disappointed when the invitation never came despite the two of you being consistent with sending emails

the year flew by fast, though, and you were excited to return to camp for an array of reasons; percy being one of those reasons, of course

when you saw him for the first time that summer, you were in awe at how different he looked after a year

he was taller, broader, and just more handsome overall

your stomach went into a frenzy when he greeted you with a boyish smile while his hand rubbed the back of his neck nervously because he didn’t fail to notice how, somehow, you were even prettier than he remembered

unfortunately, having the prepare for the war meant you guys were too busy to hang out as often as you did the previous summer

but when you did have time to see each other, it was still fun

there was an unspoken rule between you and percy that any talk about the war wasn’t allowed

it allowed you guys to just bask in the nights where you would watch the sunset while joking around and sharing funny stories

those nights were calm and still; they brought a sense of normalcy amongst the chaos and growing tensions

because of this, percy had sought out your company whenever he could get it

being with you made him feel like time slowed down

inevitably, the battle of manhattan occurred and passed, causing the summer to end with the grief of losing your siblings

while campers arranged the ceremonies to honor their siblings, percy hopped around to help

losing silena as a counselor meant it was time to pick a new one, and to your surprise, your siblings nominated you

you were silena’s right-hand person, the oldest in the group after her, and the strongest fighter, so your siblings felt it was fair that you took the role

but it didn’t feel right to you; the pressure of being a newly elected councilor while still grieving silena weighed hard on your shoulders

after the nomination, you needed time to get away and sit with your thoughts, and you were only there for a moment alone until percy had found you

his eyes studied your somber expression, and he was quick to ask what was wrong

as you poured out all your worries, percy was quiet and attentive

you cuddled up to his side for comfort, and even in your sorrow, you didn’t fail to notice the way he tensed up

finally, when you let everything out, he chimed in to soothe your worries

your expression was a little lovestruck as he said everything you needed to hear, and well, his strong arm around your shoulders definitely helped too

you were so elated that you couldn't help but press a kiss on his cheek to thank him

his flushed face was enough to lift your spirits for good that day

by the time the summer officially came to an end, you could feel that percy’s feelings for you were becoming stronger

the romantic possibilities you envisioned became more apparent, but percy hadn’t asked you out yet

and like, you guessed you could have asked him out, but that wasn't fair in your book

you were already making the first moves; it was his turn to do something about it

then you were sure your mother pitied you because finally, after a few more months of emailing, percy asked if you to go ice skating with him, and of course, you agreed

but then, you concluded that it was more like a cruel joke from your mom because percy never showed up

you waited hours for him before you trudged home in defeat

heartbroken wasn’t even enough to describe how you were feeling

being stood up with no follow up from him made you conclude that he just wasn’t interested and you just needed to move on

it wasn’t until you went to CHB for christmas break did you find out percy was missing

you were crazy worried about him and helped as much as you could to try and find him

when it was confirmed that he was still alive, you were more than relieved

from that day on, you were itching to see him again, and finally, after the giant war, you were able to speak to him

you only said a hello before you got sucked into a game of truth or dare with your friends

the game was self-explanatory; spin the bottle and the person who’s chosen is submissive to the person who spun it

you made up some lousy dares for the first few people until you spun the bottle in percy’s direction

“truth or dare?” your voice was challenging, and a little flirty

percy shifts in his place, “truth.”

“do you want to kiss me?”

“dare.”

“kiss me.”

the instigating coos of your friends made you smile, which contrasted percy’s stunned expression

“never have i ever-”

“that’s not even the game, percy!”

your friends laughed at your interaction, but you were honestly a little annoyed

he liked you; you could feel it, so what was he even waiting for?

“it’s fine. you don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to,” you say with a playful smile in an attempt to hide your disappointment

“shit, i’d kiss you,” leo joked, and you suddenly perked up at the request

a new idea came to your mind

“so kiss me,” you snapped your gaze to leo, a smirk on your face

leo gasped so hard; he choked on his own saliva

while he coughed erratically, showcasing all his shock on his face, you announced, “new rule! you can only give up a dare if someone else in the group offers to take it for you.”

your gaze fixed on leo, “so, are you going to kiss me or what?”

“uh, only if you want to,” he stammered, and you smiled, moving to lean over in his direction

suddenly, percy cut in, “i didn’t give up the dare.”

your attention shifted to him, and you didn’t fail to pick up the jealousy radiating off of him

your stomach flipped with anticipation at the success of your idea

if percy needed a push, you were going to push him

“you’ve given leo false hope then,” you joked, and playfully leo sighed.

“man, so close,” he mumbled.

you bit your lip as you leaned in percy’s direction

you felt his attraction to you; his eyes told you everything you needed to know and more

and before you knew it, your lips were against his

the kiss was short, but for a moment, the world around you was drowned out; you barely heard the coos and cheers of your friends around you

with a satisfied smirk, you pulled away, settling back in your spot as percy’s eyes averted elsewhere, too shy to look at you

you and your friends played the game until you grew bored and found something else to do

because the festivities kept pulling you in one direction to another, the only interaction you had with percy was the occasional longing glance and nothing else

as you escorted a few of your sisters who drank a little too much back to your cabin, you were sure you’d have to wait another day to talk to him

lost in your dismay, you automatically denied piper’s offer to finish the task

it wasn’t until she scoffed did you pull out of your thoughts

“are you kidding? go. i’ll get them back. you find percy.”

“oh yeah. you guys need to do something about that sexual tension. are you gonna date him or what?” another one of your sisters slurred

before you could even protest, you were shooed away by not only piper but by the rest of your siblings too

you stayed in your spot, making sure they had at least made it to the steps of the cabin before you pranced up to percy’s cabin

you figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask if he wanted to go on a walk with you

your knock is followed by a few moments of shuffling before he opened the door

and, whew, you were pleasantly surprised to be greeted by a shirtless percy

“hey." you leaned on the door frame, your eyes trailing down to admire his toned torso

“eyes up here," percy playfully demanded

you were almost hesitant to avert your eyes, but you obliged.

"i wanted to ask if you wanted to take a walk. you know, i just haven’t been sleeping well."

percy leaned against the door frame, amused at the dramatic pout on your face.

“sure, let me put on a shirt firs-”

“oh, you don’t have to. i don’t mind,” you cut him off, and his head tilts back just a little as he laughs

“i’m putting on a shirt,” he declares playfully, and you whine in fake disappointment

on your walk, he told you all the crazy things that happened while he was missing, and even though his stories were a lot more interesting than what you had to say, he was eager to hear about what you've been up to

your conversation persisted as you walked around the camp and as you arrived at the docks, another idea came to mind

suddenly, you cut yourself off mid-sentence, your gaze fixed on the water

“perce, you know, i can’t swim,” you mention, stepping on the wooden dock

“really?”

“really.”

it was quiet for a moment, and percy's expression was laced with confusion as you kicked off your shoes

you didn’t even care that you were wearing designer clothes, running straight off the dock and into the deep lake water

you heard percy yell your name right as your body completely submerges in the water

and it wasn't even more than 3 seconds before percy jumped in, one arm immediately wrapping around your waist to swim up to the surface with you

his baffled expression sent you into a fit of laughter

“what? why did you do that?!”

“cause i knew you’d come and get me.”

percy’s lips curved up into a smile, and you took the time to admire his features in the moonlight

you swore you saw his eyes flicker to your lips for a second, and the action made you hyper-aware of how close your noses were

"kiss me!" you thought in your head as you circled your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer

you could feel his admiration, the accelerated thump of his heart, the fluttering in his stomach that mimicked yours

the kiss you shared earlier was far too short for your liking, and you were already looking forward to the next opportunity to kiss him again

“i haven’t forgotten that i owe you a date.”

you smiled at his words, half-distracted at the proximity of his lips

“so it was a date all along?” you asked, and percy nods, amused

“you know, i was thinking now that there isn’t another big prophecy and the chances of me disappearing again aren’t likely, that, maybe, you and i could-”

“yes! gods, yes.” you cut him off, and percy laughs at your eagerness

you waited too long for the question that you couldn’t even let him finish asking

he isn’t able to say anything else as you pull him into a passionate kiss

it was as if the years of anticipation were being poured into the movement of your mouths

the kiss was long, growing in eagerness until the harpies had ruined your fun and the two of you had to run back to your cabins

a part of you had wished that all of this would have happened sooner

you had plenty of nights where you were stared at the ceiling with conflicted thoughts, wondering if you guys just weren't meant to be, if you somehow made up his attraction to you in your head, or if you should ask him out first and save yourself the potential regret

but when you returned to your cabin full of enthusiastic siblings asking why you were soaking wet and why your lipstick was smudged, you realized you wouldn’t have changed a single thing

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