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satoruxx · 1 year ago

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ANGEL ON MY SHOULDER.

✧ PAIRING: gojo satoru x reader, geto suguru x reader (hinted) | 5k words

✧ SUMMARY: ghost!reader, major character death, jjk manga spoilers, so much angst bc you literally die lmao, longing, mutual pining, suppressed feelings, everyone sucks at love, some fluff, banter, might be slightly suggestive, lots of hinted feelings (read: suguru), arguments, overall this is painful so read if you enjoy angst !!

✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: this idea randomly came to me before i went to bed a few days ago and in the spirit of halloween, i figured why not? i live off of angst and need to share the pain with everyone lmao oops. this is late for halloween tho my bad !!

i. 2007

satoru brings one more flower than he did the day before. morning glories again, of course, but an extra one. he had added one more to the the bunch every day since the day you died. the first day, he brought three, wrapped with a cheap blue ribbon that he found in his desk drawer. it was hardly a respectable bouquet, but those three flowers were the ones he'd grown for you, so it only seemed fitting.

he didn't care much for gardening. but one day you asked shoko what her favorite flowers were so you could give her some on valentine's day. she asked you what yours were so she could return the favor.

satoru never forgot morning glories after that day.

he's not even sure if morning glories are appropriate to bring to a grave, but he knows you'd like them.

you would tell him it didn't matter anyway.

ii. 2007

(suguru did not cry when you died. satoru watched, intently, because there was nothing in the universe that his six eyes couldn't catch. he waited for it, even a sliver of emotion that would betray suguru's bleeding heart, but he gave nothing. he just stood in front of the stone that marked the end of your life with a deep stare. something had settled there in his eyes, cold and resolute.

a few months before you died, you had told satoru that there was something wrong with suguru. you said that he'd been distant, somewhere far away, and you worried for him. you always did, so open with your affection for him.

"don't want him to get lost." you had hummed, your shoulder brushing against satoru's as you raise the mango ice pop he brought you to your mouth. satoru watches your lips out of the corner of his eyes, his stomach flipping eagerly even as he keeps his face impassive.

"he said it was just the summer heat," he answers, ignoring the sweet mango juice dripping down his knuckles. "should be nothing."

you don't look all that convinced, turning your head to look up at him with meaningful glance. "you sure?"

he stares at you for a lengthy second, cerulean eyes darting over your facial features, before he reaches up and knocks his knuckle against your forehead. "yeah. he'll be fine." he assures, and your shoulders relax as you continue to eat the ice pop.

you were right about it all. four days after you die, suguru massacres an entire village.)

iii. 2008

satoru shifts in his bed, grunting quietly he begins to stretch his stiff joints. his eyes crack open, still heavy with sleep as he waits for his dark ceiling to come into focus. except it doesn't, because all he can see are a pair of very familiar looking eyes. unsaturated, but still so obviously the color he once knew. his own eyes snap open, all traces of sleep gone as he finally makes out someone who looks exactly like you, perched on his stomach with a confused and slightly panicked expression.

he shoots up, and you pull back a little. it looks like you're on his lap, and yet he can't feel you on him at all. he gulps.

"hey toru." you say quietly, and his stomach drops. the same eyes, the same voice. gods above.

"you're dead," he says simply, trying not to betray the way his pulse is jumping at even the smallest glimpse of you again. "you're not real."

"i'm dead," you confirm, nodding your head as you look down at your translucent palms. "but i'm here somehow."

he sucks in a breath, reaching out a hand as if to touch you. the disappointment he feels when it passes through your form is sickening.

you smile shakily, shrugging your shoulders as you attempt to make light of the situation.

"guess i couldn't stay away."

he stares at you for minutes without saying a word and you stare back, equally silent.

iv. 2007

(nanami had carried your body back, his teeth gritted as his blonde hair fell over his eyes. satoru never brought it up, but he knew that nanami remained bothered by it for the rest of his life. your death was bad timing, especially after they had just lost haibara a few weeks prior.

nanami had no reason to blame himself though. if anything, it was satoru's fault you were gone.

shoko had called him from the infirmary, her voice hard and pinched as she spat out three words: "get down here."

when satoru saw your body, he didn't say a word. just took a few long strides until he was at the table where nanami had placed you down. your eyes were shut, face resting in a way that seemed so unnatural. he opened his mouth to ask shoko something, but felt like he was choking on air, so he stopped himself.

then he grabbed your limp fingers, squeezed them gently. they were still a little warm, but not as warm as you usually run. shoko didn't say anything, just stood there with her hands clenched, short brown hair falling over her dark eyes.

satoru remained there for the next thirty minutes, waiting for you to sit up and laugh at the prank you were no doubt pulling. as if your blood wasn't still dripping all over the table.

shoko was the one who finally pulled a sheet over your body with shaking hands. she didn't look satoru in the eye, and didn't spare a glance when suguru burst into the room ten minutes later.)

v. 2008

it takes satoru a while to get used to the fact that you're not physically there. he has to bite his tongue when he moves to bump your shoulder or flick your forehead only to find that his skin goes right through yours. you always give him that same little rueful smile, and he sighs to himself.

he doesn't make an effort to figure out why you're there. he figures it's similar to how jujutsu users can come back as curses due to strong feelings. when he thinks about it though, guilt lodges itself into his throat, because the first thought he had when he heard you were entering death's door was no, don't you dare die.

every day he wonders if he's the one who cursed you to stay.

you act like it doesn't matter, hovering around him as he busies himself in his empty room. at first you're quiet, as though you've forgotten how to speak to him in your incorporeal form. but then you start asking him questions, and it's one question that satoru dreads to answer that you finally bring up.

"where's suguru?"

he's not stupid. he knows there's more you think of suguru than you've ever revealed. of course you'd want to know. but that doesn't mean he wants to be the one to tell you. you had died with nothing but a good impression of geto suguru. you'd probably died with your feelings for him still intact too.

it'd be selfish of satoru to ruin that.

"nothing, don't worry about it," he dismisses, voice clipped as he busies himself with preparing dinner. he knows that won't deter you.

you huff, moving to hover in his line of sight. you cross your arms as you glare at him seriously, and satoru hates how nostalgic your expression makes him feel. he tongues his cheek before sighing.

"he's gone." satoru answers simply. he tries to keep his tone even but it comes out bitter and strained. he can hear your quiet gasp, and feels your form move closer to him. if you were alive, he'd be able to feel your breath on his skin now.

"what do you mean, gone?"

satoru sighs again, turning to look at you completely. he hated everything about this. "he left school. went crazy. killed a bunch of people, including his parents."

he would've laughed at the comical way your jaw dropped if you didn't look so hurt. you sputter over your words as he picks up his bowl and moves to the table, trailing after him and demanding more information.

he doesn't hesitate to share, because he's always hated keeping secrets from you. you had this uncanny ability to see straight through him, and it never failed to make him feel unsettled. so he tells you everything that happened in the few weeks after you died. suguru leaving, their confrontation in shinjuku, his plans for non-sorcerers. he leaves nothing unsaid.

when he's done, he finally looks at you, trying to gauge your reaction. but you're just staring at his food with a bitter expression, brows pinched and lips pursed. satoru says your name once.

you glance at him, and it's too quick for him to look for any accusation in it. doesn't matter though, because he's ready to own up to his mistakes.

"you were right back then. about suguru." satoru admits quietly, turning to his food. he doesn't want to look at you anymore, because he's scared you'll show him how disappointed you are with him.

you don't say anything in response. but you sit down at the small dining table and watch him eat with soft eyes, one bite at a time. satoru doesn't admit it, but the whole time he imagines that you're gently rubbing his shoulder, and he thinks he hasn't missed you more than in that moment.

vi. 2007

(it was satoru's fault you died. if he hadn't been so selfish, you'd still be next to him, shoulder brushing his as the two of you walked through the streets of tokyo.

you had knocked on his door that morning before you had left for your last mission, rocking on your heels. he opened it groggily, still half asleep.

"you going on a mission?" satoru had yawned, drowsy eyes trailing over your uniform. you nod with a grin.

"mhm, with nanami. there are two separate areas with curses though, so we'll split up when we get there. should be simple enough." you shrug, toying with the collar of your uniform jacket.

satoru decides to be annoying. "then why are you here disturbing my sleep? get out." he groans dramatically, peering at you with narrowed eyes. you smack his arm, scoffing. you've stopped questioning why he keeps his infinity down for you do those things to him.

"i was gonna ask if you wanted to come with," you hiss, crossing your arms defensively. "but i'm taking it back, asshole."

he grins. "what? can't stay away?"

you roll your eyes, shaking your head with a sarcastic laugh. "don't flatter yourself."

satoru pauses for a second. "i was gonna go back to sleep." he admits, feeling a little guilty. he had just come back from a mission the night before, and he doesn't feel like leaving again. he doesn't know how to say that to you though.

but you see right through him, like you always do.

"you've been going on missions a lot lately," you smile earnestly, patting his shoulder. "no wonder you're tired."

"'m the strongest, i don't get tired." he protests, crossing his arms with a scoff. you roll your eyes again, sticking your tongue out at him as you heft your weapon over your shoulder.

"keep it up and you're seriously gonna fry your brain or something," you say with a shake of your head, eyes betraying your concern for him. he notices it, and tries to smother down the way it makes his stomach flip. "i'll be fine. you can come on my next mission with me."

fair enough, he thinks. he hadn't gone on missions with you or suguru in a while. he should remember to ask yaga to let him go on your next one. just the two of you. you and him. maybe he'd buy you a mango ice pop on the way back.

"fine." he acquiesces easily, not even thinking to protest. he'll see you later anyway, so he'll talk to you more when you get back.

you smirk a little, motioning to his bedhead, before gently kicking his shin. "go back to sleep then, stupid."

he rolls his eyes, reaching up to knock his knuckle against your forehead like he always does. "whatever. bring me some sweets on your way back, yeah?"

the laugh you give him as he shuts the door is the last thing he ever hears from you.

he should've gone with you.)

vii. 2012

satoru hates the way you're looking at him right now.

it was a stupid little mistake. he had gone to see little megumi and tsumiki earlier that afternoon, and as usual, you had tagged along with him. you'd watched him raise up the two kids over the last few years, never failing to tease about his newly acquired fatherhood, or how much he seemed to care about them despite his efforts to hide it. he didn't ever think to say that you'd helped him raise them up too. even in your incorporeal form you'd always been around to tell him what meals he could prep or to remind him that megumi liked black forest cake for his birthdays.

he'd gotten so used to you being around and he slipped up once. that afternoon when he had walked megumi home from school, teasing and poking fun at the kid, he'd made a stupid joke. megumi had rolled his eyes and told him to shut up.

and then without thinking, satoru had turned to you as you hovered next to him and groaned your name out dramatically before whining, "this kid is so mean to me!"

your eyes widened immediately, and if you were alive he'd probably see the color drain from your face. his stomach had sank and he couldn't tear his eyes away from you, even when megumi glanced at him with a raised brow.

"who are you talking to?" he asked, and satoru gulped, shaking his head as he broke eye contact with you to look down at the kid.

"nobody." he had answered.

he tries to ignore the meaningful stare you pin him with for the rest of the afternoon, hoping that you'll just forget about it. but as soon as satoru has left the kids and he's back in his own room, you're on him. he busies himself with making a cup of hot chocolate, even though he feels sick to his stomach.

"satoru you have to figure out how to get rid of me!" you plead, eyes so sad it makes his stomach churn. "i'm gonna drive you insane!"

"i'm fine!" he snaps back, shaking his head as he takes a sip from his mug, the warmth distracting him from whatever it was you were trying to remind him of. he places it down on the table in front of him and crosses his arms defensively. "it was a stupid mistake. won't happen again."

you shimmer in and out of focus, manifesting in front of him with a glare, though your eyes are still the same. wounded and hurt. "it wasn't and you know it! you can't keep living like this. i've been haunting you for years, toru!"

"well who asked you to go ahead and die?!" he yells without thinking, and it's like he sees your hurt bubble forth in slow motion.

"i went and died because i made a stupid mistake on a mission! quit blaming yourself, you dumbass!" you shout, voice raised higher than he's ever heard it.

satoru's mug shatters against the wall.

the two of you immediately turn to look at the mess with wide eyes, before slowly turning to each other to ensure that it really did happen.

"how'd you do that?" satoru asks quietly, his voice strained as he takes a few long strides towards you. you look down at your hand, the same one that you had lifted to swipe at his mug during your fit of rage. you look back up at him with wide eyes and parted lips. satoru's head is pounding, some kind of sick hope stirring within him. "you had to have touched it."

"i don't…" you trail off, voice filled with awe and a bit of fear. satoru reaches up a hand, ignoring the tremble in it, and moves to touch your face. he will never admit to the amount of times he begs in his head, please please please.

his hand goes straight though your skin, and your eyes soften. satoru lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, hiding his disappointment as he takes a step back and turns away.

viii. 2006

(satoru thinks gardening is ridiculous. plants are so fragile, needing to be constantly monitored and cared for like children. he can't understand why anyone would choose to garden as a hobby when there were less stressful things to do in spare time.

even the process was time consuming, he realizes as he scoops out piles of dirt into the small pots he had set out on his windowsill.

he thinks back to the silly little grin you had on your face as you answered shoko's question.

"morning glory," you had said, leaning against her shoulder. "i like the way they open in the morning and close at night."

shoko hummed, staring at the sky even as satoru quietly eavesdropped. "you got a favorite color?"

"the blue ones," you answered. "they're the prettiest."

your voice echoes in his head as he places the seeds into the soil, and he sighs heavily. why he was doing this for you was beyond him.

the thought makes him annoyed, and he huffs in frustration the entire time he plants them. gardening had to be the stupidest hobby ever.

and yet when three blue morning glories bloom against his windowsill, he can't hold back his grin.)

ix. 2017

satoru's grateful that you don't watch him kill suguru.

he tells you to go, and you give suguru a long stare, face pinched and sour even though your translucent eyes are shining. it's a shame suguru can't see you though, because satoru thinks you look so pretty. suguru would've been lucky to have you be the last thing he ever saw.

you turn away and disappear without a word, and after one last exchange, satoru finishes the job.

it's only after he watches rika's final goodbye to yuta does he realize the extent of what a goodbye even means. he'd said one to suguru, and yet he can't help but miss him as he walks back home. he wonders if suguru wouldn't have had to die if you were still around.

satoru had never gotten a goodbye with you though. you're somehow still with him, but he misses you so much. it puts an ugly feeling in his gut, twisted and dark. it weighs down on his shoulders as he finally opens the door to his room, heavy and overwhelming as he sees you sitting on his bed, face vacant.

he says your name, and you don't move. he takes a seat next to you, and something about your sad expression makes him so unbelievably angry.

"quit being sad about it," he finally spits out, the truthful extent of his feelings coming out. "it's not like you're even alive that you'd be able to see him."

you scoff as you give him a sidelong glare. "what's that supposed to mean? one of my closest friends just died and you expect me not to be upset about it?"

"at least he'll find a way to you!" satoru hisses, clenching his fists so hard that his nails leave crescents in his skin. "you two can have fun together for all of eternity."

there's a tense silence that follows as he grits his teeth, turning away from you. he's so disgusted right now. with suguru, with you, with himself.

"i'm all by myself." satoru mutters bitterly, the words so foreign on his tongue as the truth hits him.

god he misses you so much.

he suddenly feels a sharp thwack on the back of his head and he's turning around with wide eyes.

"don't you dare forget about shoko!" you hiss, tears in your eyes as you glare at him, hand raised. "i'll never forgive you!"

his throat goes dry, because the smack you just gave him was the first time you'd touched him since the day you died. there's a storm in his throat that threatens to break free, but he tries to keep it lodged in his throat. even with your teary eyes, he thinks you look just as pretty as you did with life flowing through you.

he misses suguru. he knows you do too, because there are translucent tears dripping down your cheeks and he has never ached to touch you more. but he can't because you're dead.

you remain in front of him all night, barely saying a word in between your sniffles. he doesn't say anything either, just watching you.

he doesn't know what there is to say. the only thing he ever wishes he got to say to you was goodbye. but you're here, in front of him, so a goodbye seems pointless.

when the sun comes up, you wish him a merry christmas, and he swears you never left him.

satoru says it back to you. you smile sadly.

he misses you so much.

x. 2007

(satoru had cleaned out your dorm room three days after you died.

he didn't really understand why he was doing it so early. shoko had frowned when he told her that he planned to pack away your things, frowned in a way that made her look like she disagreed.

well even if she did disagree, it didn't stop her from sitting in your desk chair, chewing on her nail quietly as she watched satoru fold your clothes. he didn't even understand why he was doing this.

maybe it was because every time he walked past your empty dorm room he felt sick to his stomach. there was a twisting feeling in his gut when he realized that you'd never curl up in that bed again. never sit by the window with a grin watching him and suguru bicker as they threw playing cards on the floor. he figured the faster he got rid of your remnants, the quicker the feeling would go away.

that's what he's hoping anyway. but when he picks up your jujutsu uniform he feels something claw at his throat, and he unconsciously digs his fingers into the fabric. he hears a sigh from behind him and then shoko is at his side, wordlessly easing the cloth from his hand. she lays it on the bed, smoothing out the wrinkles before folding it carefully. when she places it into the box, satoru thinks her hands shake a bit.

there's a bitter expression on shoko's face that he's never seen before, and it makes his stomach twist.

they work on your room for the next few hours, until the sun has disappeared behind the horizon and the cool evening breeze bullies its way into your old space. neither of them say anything, save for the occasional nostalgic hum as they remember something that you did or they're reminded of the story behind one of the trinkets in your room. otherwise it's silent, and for a second satoru feels like he can hear your laugh.

it isn't until night has completely fallen that they are interrupted.

"what are you doing?"

satoru turns around just as shoko looks up, both of them finding suguru standing in the doorway. he hadn't taken a step in yet, eyes still trailing over the emptiness of your old room from behind an uncrossed line.

"cleaning." satoru answers, his voice oddly clipped.

"it wasn't messy…" suguru mutters back, his lips slanting in such an unusual way. there was an uncharacteristically determined look in his eyes, as though there was something in him that was struggling to burst forth. satoru didn't understand what it was.

"never said it was." satoru replies noncommittally. he hears shoko inhale deeply, shifting in your old chair as she watches the two of them stare at each other. there's a tense silence as he notices suguru frown.

satoru can't remember the last time he even had a full conversation with suguru. he remembers seeing you leave for your last mission, and he wants to kick himself for not asking earlier to be sent on group missions with the two of you.

even now, he doesn't really know what to say to suguru. all he can do is tighten his fingers around the edge of the box with your stuff neatly packed in, and watch his best friend sigh.

suguru wets his lips, eyes darting over your desk. there's an odd expression on his face, and his brows pinch as he notices something. then suguru reaches out to pick up an old polaroid, and satoru knows exactly which one it is. your arms slung around suguru's shoulders, smile so wide your cheeks probably hurt. suguru's expression was uncharacteristically gentle.

satoru remembers it so well, because he's the one who took the picture.

suguru looks at the polaroid without a word, rubbing the corner between his thumb and forefinger, and his expression suddenly mirrors the gentleness in the picture. his eyes remain stormy, deep and unsettling as he reaches conclusions that satoru will never understand.

the three of them stay quiet for a few minutes, even though satoru has so many questions that he can't figure out how to phrase. shoko toys with a cigarette between her lips, leaving it unlit because you've always hated the smell of smoke. suguru just stands there, silently eyeing your unfiltered smile through the lens of a camera.

satoru wonders if suguru's trying to say goodbye to you. he doesn't ask, and suguru doesn't say.

only after something had clicked in suguru's eyes, did satoru realize something was over. he couldn't help but feel like he had just buried you in that cardboard box with all your things, and he swallows hard.

then suguru clenches his fists, veins flexing as he looks around your room, almost like he was committing it to memory. satoru didn't understand why; it's not like suguru couldn't come see your room anytime he wanted.

then he turns away, hand lingering on the doorframe heavily, without another word.

just as suguru walks away, satoru thinks he hears your voice whispering in his ear.

"don't want him to get lost."

xi. 2018

something is wrong. something happened. something is wrong.

satoru knows he needs to wake up. but he's so tired, so exhausted from carrying on all by himself. he suddenly remembers the taste of frozen mango, sweet and chilled, and he wants to keep thinking about it for the rest of eternity.

but something is wong. he needs to wake up.

the minute satoru forces his eyes open, he can ignore the taste of blood in his mouth because you're there.

you're kneeling at his side, sunlight shining behind your head in a way that makes you look almost angelic. he'd believe it if you said you were an angel, because you've been dead for so long now.

you'd been a ghost for so many years, hovering around him and getting him through everything that had come his way. isn't that what guardian angels were supposed to do, guiding humans through their own trials? isn't that what you were doing to him since the day you died and came back to him?

you'd been a ghost. you'd been his angel. you'd been haunting him.

you'll always haunt him.

you seem to know it too, because the expression on your face is understanding, soft and yet so sad.

for what seems like the millionth time in his life, satoru aches to touch you.

he tries to move his hand but finds that he can't. synapses misfire. he can't feel his body anymore.

he wants to touch you. gods above, he wants to touch you so badly. please just this one last wish.

your translucent forms shimmers in the sunlight, and satoru can't tell if he's hallucinating or not because you suddenly seem to become fully physical. the particles of your form solidify, slowly filling with more color until you don't look quite so dilute. the saturation of your eye color comes back, and satoru can't look away because he's never seen a ghost so pretty before.

his breath hitches as you gently cup his cheek in your palm, warm and gentle. the melancholic look on your face makes his eyes sting.

"it's good to see you." he says with a weak smile, ignoring the metallic taste on his tongue. his breath is short, mind racing because your skin is on his again. finally, after so many years. you're so soft, just like he remembers.

"you weren't supposed to join me this quick." you sigh, eyes shining as you smile down at him ruefully. your thumb brushes over his bottom lip, and satoru's cerulean eyes flutter.

no. no more waiting. he'd missed you too much. he doesn't have it in him to stay away from you anymore. he'd done it long enough. your fingers tremble against his skin and he almost laughs.

no more haunting.

there's a resolute part of him that knows you'll be the first thing he sees when he gets to wake up again. he decides that, when he does, he'll get you a mango ice pop and plant some morning glories with you.

his eyes fall shut with a sigh.

"guess i couldn't stay away."

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asahicore · 1 year ago

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real me, real you - psh

pairing. sunghoon x fem!reader (ft. jay... sorry)

synopsis. You’re your school’s popular pretty smart girl, but with a twist - you lead a completely different life at home, where you are messy, lazy and foul-mouthed. Only your family and best friend Sumin know about this, until Park Sunghoon, of all people, finds out. The resident cold and arrogant heartbreaker of your school decides to blackmail you into doing his biddings - but you can’t say no, not even when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, otherwise he’ll ruin your reputation. But as you and Sunghoon get closer, you realize that maybe he’s not so bad after all, and you may be more similar than you'd originally though - all while your old childhood friend Jay watches from the sidelines.

genre. fake dating, high school au, very slight love triangle action, fluff and angst

warnings. this is the first thing i ever wrote so there may be slightly cringe and awkward things but i didn't wanna change anything lol, hoon is a meanie at some point and everything is dramatic and very fanfic-y, mild childhood trauma for both of them <3

word count. 22.9k

author's note. @end-hyphen genie this one is for you... i hope you still like this fic after all this time lol ! as i said in the warnings i only changed a few typos and punctuation from the original but i decided to not make any major changes bc i think it's nice to see what my writing was like when i had just started out!! hopefully i've improved lol, also this was not inspired by true beauty!! i've never seen the show nor read the webtoon. i was inspired by two mangas called switch girl and kare kano (or his and her circumstances) which have this plot of a girl being two different people at school and at home. anyways hope u guys enjoy this and if u do pls lmk <333

Nobody was supposed to find out.

You were the most popular girl in school, known for your looks, good grades, and kind personality. You had a nice group of friends and the whole school at your feet, students and staff alike. As the student representative, you had an image to keep up and needed everyone to think you were perfect; and they did. So you always wore a smile on your face, kept your head up and made sure your uniform was creaseless, all while maintaining the highest scores in your year. Always being friendly to your peers and helping them out prevented anyone from thinking you were a stuck-up goody-two-shoes. You made high school look like a breeze.

But such a life didn’t exist. Who was happy waking up at 6 a.m. every day and dedicating all of their time to schoolwork and student life? You certainly weren’t. What you thrived off of was having everyone think you were. Hearing whispers in the corridor of, “She’s so pulled together!” or “I wish I had her life”, now, those skyrocketed you to heaven. The cherry on top was a nod of approval from a teacher or an “outstanding job again, Y/N” as they handed you back your graded paper. Your favorite color had become the red of the pens your teachers used to write A+ at the top of the page.

You’d always been academically gifted, but as you heard those words more and more, you’d started craving them and doing everything to hear them again until they started controlling you instead of the other way around. Everything you did needed to be perfect. And that was how you had created this persona of the perfect girl who had it all together at the ripe age of 17. But that’s exactly what it was; a persona.

As soon as you stepped off the bus and waved goodbye to your friends, you became another person. Or more accurately, you reverted back to your natural self. You weren’t an evil person by any means; it wasn’t your intention to actively deceive everyone at school, it was more of a side effect of keeping up appearances. Only your family and your closest friend Sumin knew what you were truly like: greedy, messy, short-tempered, self-centered, and sometimes downright insufferable. Your younger siblings, Sunoo and Yeeun, liked to joke that you had a button you switched on and off whenever you left the house. When on, you were the sweetest girl ever, but when off, all your vices crept up and let themselves known to the world, or rather to your family. You didn’t mean to make them suffer, but after a long day of being perfect, you needed to blow off some steam; if they had to be your metaphorical punching bag, so be it.

When Sunoo entered high school, you made him swear he wouldn’t say a thing to anyone. You trusted him and knew he wouldn’t let your secret out - it was too entertaining for him to see you act perfect at school and reveal your true self at home. There was no risk of anyone finding out - you were so intent on keeping the act up that nothing ever slipped you. It had been that way since middle school, and your senior year of high school was going to be no different.

Nobody was supposed to find out, so what was Park Sunghoon doing right in front of you in the frozen aisle of the corner convenience store, just when you happened to be bare-faced, with thick glasses on and a pimple bright red from just having been popped, in your comfiest pajamas, and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s in hand?

“Kim Y/N? Y/N, is that you?”

You froze in place, not knowing how to react. There was no way this, your worst nightmare, was actually happening.

When you regained your senses, flight seemed the best way out of this. You avoided Sunghoon’s curious gaze and curtly replied, “No, sorry, I don’t know who that is,” before walking away, iron grip on the ice cream.

But the boy was quicker than you and grabbed you by the wrist, forcing you to turn around. “It is you! Come on, Y/N, aren’t we friends? Do you not recognize me or something?”

If it wasn’t for the panic coursing through your veins at that moment, you might’ve laughed at his question. How could you not recognize the Park Sunghoon? Along with Park Jongseong and Sim Jaeyun, or Jay and Jake as they liked to be called, he was only the most popular guy in your year - hell, in the whole school. The three of them had gained attention from freshman year as the three handsome soccer players. Jake and Sunghoon had been attached at the hip since kindergarten, Jay joining them sometime in middle school when he came back from his year abroad in Seattle.

Your parents and Jay’s had been college best friends and you two had therefore grown up together, and even used to be quite close. You’d grown apart when he joined Jake and Sunghoon’s friend group, and although you still got on well, there was always a bit of an awkward atmosphere when you caught up with each other.

The three friends had quite different personalities but their complicity and shared history made them stick together. Jake was known for his academic achievements, rivaling yours, and his friendly personality; Jay, for his surprisingly funny antics once you got past the somewhat menacing appearance (which he blames on his resting bitch face). Sunghoon, on the other hand, was as cold as ice, so much that he’d earned the nickname of ice prince, but girls continued to swoon over him due to his incredibly handsome features. When turning down girls, Jake and Jay always tried to let them down gently, but Sunghoon wasn’t one to hold back: he’d laugh in their face or straight up say no, staring them right in the eyes. Most confessions ended in tears (not his, obviously), but girls kept on testing their luck, thinking they might be the one to melt the ice prince’s cold, dead heart.

Clearly, you weren’t Sunghoon’s biggest fan.

His behavior had always made you wonder why Jay and Jake were friends with a person like him. They went back a long time, but how did Sunghoon not become a nice and approachable person like his two best friends? They both seemed so genuine, but he looked like he was hiding something. This was what had made you weary of him; you knew all too well how easily an image that was the opposite of reality could be created. So on one hand, you sort of felt for him, thinking he might be in a similar situation as you. But on the other hand, you couldn’t help but feel some kind of jealousy: if you acted the way he did, you wouldn’t receive half the admiration you did. Hell, you’d probably be hated for it - no one likes a girl that’s both successful and bitchy about it.

One thing was sure, though, and that was that you wouldn’t call the two of you friends, as he just had.

“Y/N? You okay?”

The pure panic in your eyes must’ve made Sunghoon realize something was wrong. He released you and looked you up and down, trying to take your appearance in. The Y/N he was seeing right then was worlds away from the one he was accustomed to at school.

You realized there was no ignoring him, so you collected yourself and faced Sunghoon. “Uh, yeah, hi, Sunghoon. Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew here.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, no wonder. You look quite… different from what you usually do,” he said, voice laced with sarcasm.

This whole situation got you dumbfounded. You usually knew exactly what to retort when somebody messed with you, your friend or a classmate, but this time, you were completely speechless. You just wanted to escape.

“Well, it was nice seeing you Sunghoon, but I need to get home.” You pivoted on your heels and started walking again, but Sunghoon had other plans.

“Aw, come on, so quickly? We barely got to chat!” He followed you through the aisles as you picked up the remaining ingredients on the list your mother had given you as quickly as you could.

“I didn’t know you needed glasses. Do you wear lenses at school?”

“Yes. I need them to see.”

“I figured.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and your shock was slowly morphing into anger. Were teenage girls so blind that they’d have a crush on someone with such an abominable personality, no matter how angelic his face was?

“I really like your outfit, by the way. Looks super comfy.” And as if your embarrassment couldn’t grow any bigger, he added: “Too bad you got a stain on the shirt.”

You looked down at yourself and noticed a huge grease stain on the collar of your shirt. Admittedly, you didn’t always have the best table manners.

You swore under your breath. It was quiet for a couple minutes as you arrived at the register and paid for your items, Sunghoon still on your tail. He had apparently given up his purchases to focus solely on tormenting you. When you walked out of the store, you thought he might finally be done. But of course, he wasn’t.

“You know, my sister has this really effective pimple cream she uses. Do you want me to ask her what brand it is?”

That was it. You sighed deeply. “Alright, Park. What do you want?”

When you turned to face him fully, arms crossing over your chest and an obviously tired expression on your face, the mischievous glint in his eyes made you realize something. That idiot was enjoying this.

Indeed, he beamed down at you. You had probably never seen him smiling so widely. “Wow, Y/N, didn’t know you could have such an attitude.”

You stayed silent and continued staring at him, waiting for an answer. He mirrored your pose, out of instinct or to irritate you, you weren’t sure.

“You know, when I moved to this neighborhood before the start of school, I was definitely not expecting to see Perfect Miss Y/N out in her pajamas buying ice cream. I thought you were more into, I don’t know, rescuing puppies from fires or something. That sounds like something you’d do in your free time.”

“Well, is there anything wrong with what I’m doing?”

“Oh, absolutely not! Just a surprising sight. Makes me wonder what the rest of the school would say…” He looked intently at you, clearly waiting for a reaction. You weren’t about to give him one, though.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, shifting your weight on your right foot. “Yeah, like anyone would believe you if you said you saw me looking anything else other than perfect.” It might’ve sounded arrogant, but that was the image people had of you. Even your friends asked you how you did it - if only they knew the truth.

At that, his smile got even brighter. “Don’t worry about that, I won’t need to tell anyone. I’ll just show them!” He pulled out his phone, showing you a picture of you in your god-awful pajamas searching for your favorite flavor of ice cream.

He watched as your face fell, taking your silence as an opportunity to go on. “You were so engrossed in the tubs of ice cream that you didn’t notice a dashingly handsome and tall young man very obviously taking pictures of you.”

This put you into panic mode again. It might have seemed foolish, but you hadn’t worked for years to create a perfect version of yourself only for a stupid boy to destroy it all with one picture.

You sighed and lowered your head, taking a moment to think. You didn’t know Sunghoon that well, but you didn’t put it past him to send that picture to everyone and ruin your image in the process. You opted for honesty instead of bluff. You took your glasses off and looked back up at him; even if you couldn’t see him as well without them, maybe he’d see the despair in your eyes better.

“Park. I mean, Sunghoon. You can’t show that picture to anyone, okay? You have no idea how bad I need to keep up appearances. It’s really important to me, so just delete the picture and let’s never talk about this again, yeah?”

You tried smiling at him, but his expression infuriated you. You could tell he had something else up his sleeve. “Now, Y/N, why would I do that? If I’m gonna do something for you, you should do something for me.”

You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the rest of his thoughts, but you needed to know. Eyeing him suspiciously, you told him to go on.

“Well, I can’t think of anything right now, but I’ll let you know when I do, okay? I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He flashed another one of his smiles, patted your head, and walked away, just like that, leaving you standing outside the convenience store on your own, a melting tub of ice cream in your plastic bag. At least for now, you were safe.

Right?

—

“You saw Park Sunghoon? As in, the Park Sunghoon?” your little sister Yeeun asked, looking at you with huge eyes. You two and Sunoo were sitting on your bed, sharing the ice cream by eating it directly from the tub.

“Yes, that’s literally what I’ve been saying this whole time. How do you know him anyway? You’re still in middle school…”

“Are you crazy? He’s famous in our whole school district! I wish we had cute boys in my school as well,” she sulked, pouting.

“That’s not the point, Yeeun,” Sunoo chimed in, then turned to you. “Well, this is either bad news or the start of a beautiful romance.”

“Sunoo! Take this seriously! I’m in a huge dilemma right now.”

Your siblings shared a knowing glance and snickered.

“Hey! I’m right here. I’m not overreacting, you know. If he does send those pictures around, I’m done for.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, you’d be so much better off if you could be yourself at school. I see you there almost everyday, and the way you laugh always sounds so fake. Nobody would care if you forgot to put makeup on one day or had a crease in your shirt. If anything, it’d make you look more human.”

You could see where Sunoo was coming from, but you chose to ignore it. You sighed deeply. “You guys just don’t get it. They all see me as this perfect, put-together girl. If I showed them even a glimpse of the truth, everything would shatter. It’s too late to go back now.” You ignored their pitying looks and took another big spoonful of ice cream.

It was their turn to sigh. As always, it was impossible to reason with you. Deep in your thoughts, you added: “You know, there was something really off about him today. I’d never seen him act that way before.”

Your siblings looked at you questioningly. “He’s always so cold and distant towards everyone. I’ve only seen him smile when he’s laughing with Jake and Jay or when he makes fun of someone. But just now, he kept smiling at me like he was having fun. He even patted my head when he left.”

At that, Yeeun swooned dramatically, hands over her heart. You looked over at her and said, “I’d be swooning too if it was any other guy than Park Sunghoon. I’m more confused than anything right now, he was a completely different person from when I see him at school.”

They exchanged another look. “You guys stop doing that!”

“Well, it’s just that that sounds an awful lot like someone I know,” Sunoo replied. Realization hit you and you scoffed, mildly offended. At least you were nice to others at school and didn’t act like an asshole with a superiority complex.

“Anyway,” he continued, “what will you do about Sunghoon?”

“I’m not too sure. I guess all I can do is wait and see whatever it is he could want from me.”

“Yeah, do that, and then date him, please. If I can’t have him as my boyfriend, then I’ll have him as my brother-in-law,” Yeeun joked. You didn’t have it in you to retort anything back and started laughing along with her.

If everything did shatter, at least you’d have your siblings to make you laugh.

—

The next day, you made your way to the bus stop after your daily morning routine: jogging, showering, eating a filling breakfast, choosing the perfect accessories for your school uniform, applying just the right amount of makeup and going over your subjects and tasks of the day. As always, efficiency is the key. You had become so used to this routine that your body did it on its own, which let your mind wander wherever it pleased. Usually, you’d use this time to prepare yourself for the day ahead, but today, the only thing on your mind was Park Sunghoon. What was that boy up to? Was he up to anything, or did you completely imagine his mischievousness yesterday? In any case, you hoped it would all be over soon.

You got on the bus and sat down next to Sumin. Your close friend group at school consisted of her, Park Sieun, Lee Heeseung and Choi Jiung, but she was the only one who knew about your secret. You had been friends for so long that you hadn’t even been able to hide it: she’d seen you from all angles, both before, during and after your transformation to who you were now. It was nice having someone else than your siblings to rely on and tell everything to.

“Minie, you’ll never guess what happened yesterday. I ran into Park Sunghoon at the convenience store next to our apartment unit.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but her reaction wasn’t as big as you thought it’d be. She smiled and said, “Huh! I knew he’d moved to our neighborhood, but I wouldn’t have thought he’d live so close to you that you’d even shop at the same place.”

She registered your confused expression and continued. “Didn’t you hear? He moved out of his parents’ house at the end of summer. Something about a huge fight with them that made him move out. But there are always so many rumors about him and his group that I don’t know what to believe.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, unsure what to say. Now that you thought about it, Sunghoon had mentioned moving in your conversation yesterday, but you were so preoccupied with him seeing you in your wild state that you hadn’t paid much attention to his comment.

“Wait, did he do something? Your face is telling me he did something.”

You got closer to her face and gestured for her to do the same. With lowered heads and in hushed tones, you said, “He saw me on off-mode.”

She gasped and jolted back in surprise, eyes wide and eyebrows shooting straight up. “What?”

You shushed her and pulled her in by her shoulders. “He even took pictures.” Your grip tight, you held her from jumping again. “That’s not even it. You know how he's always really cold and distant?”

“You mean how he’s always being a douchebag?” She scoffed. “Yeah, I know.”

You remembered that Sumin had been one of the first of many girls who shot their shot with Park Sunghoon, only to get rejected. You both grimaced at the memory that always left a bad taste in your mouth.

“He was completely different yesterday. Kept following me around the store and, I’m not sure, teasing me? Like trying to get a reaction out of me? In a weird half-friendly half-bully way.”

“Hm, you’re right, that doesn’t sound like him,” she mused. “It does sound like a stupid teenage boy though, which I guess he is, no matter how hard he tries to pretend he’s not.”

This is what you loved about Sumin. She could see right through people, and never hesitated to say what she thought of them, especially when they acted the way Sunghoon did. Sure, there were some personal feelings attached there, but she had quickly gotten over them when she realized how much of a douche he was towards everyone else.

When the bus stopped to pick up some more students, Heeseung hopped on. You quickly told Sumin to keep it a secret, at which she smiled and made a motion as if zipping her lips and throwing the key. If you told your friends about Sunghoon, you’d have to tell them the truth about how he had dirt on you, but you wanted to keep your friendship clean. You chatted the rest of the bus ride away and tried not to worry over Park Sunghoon too much.

When you finally got to school, you, Heeseung, and Sumin made your way to your classroom to join Jiung and Sieun. Before you could get there, however, Jungwon, an underclassman you had talked to a couple times for student council meetings, called out your name. You told your friends to go on without you and turned to the younger boy.

“Jungwon! Hi, what’s up?”

He seemed flattered that you had remembered his name but quickly got on with his business. “Um, I’m not sure why, but Sunghoon told me to come and get you? I’ve never talked to him, I think he just picked me randomly and assigned me a task…”

You sighed. Park Sunghoon truly was something. “Thanks for telling me, Jungwon. I’ll make sure he gets an earful for this, he has no right to boss students around like that.”

Jungwon’s eyes doubled in size as he frantically waved his hands in dismissal. “No! No need to do that, I don’t want to get in trouble with him. I’m just here to relay the message.” At that, he scurried off, and you headed towards Sunghoon’s homeroom.

When you walked in, a few people were in the room, some girls gossiping with each other, a couple students doing some last-minute revision for a test. You found Sunghoon sitting at his desk, snickering with Jay and Jake and hoped that the subject of their laughter wasn’t you. They noticed you approaching and the two decent boys greeted you; the other one eyed you, that mischievous glint back in his eyes. What could he possibly have in mind?

“Hi, guys.” You smiled at Jay and Jake and reflexively stood closer to Jay. “Sunghoon, Jungwon said you wanted to see me?” you asked, trying to keep your impatience at bay.

“Oh, was that his name? Well, thank heavens for him, ‘cause I forgot my lunch at home. Would you be a sweetheart and go buy me something at the cafeteria? You know how everything runs out as soon as lunch period starts, and I get really cranky when I’m hungry.”

You stared at him, wide-eyed. His two friends’ reaction wasn’t very different from yours. Go buy him lunch? That’s what he wanted you to do?

“What? You don’t want to? That’s too bad, cause there’s a picture I think everybo-”

You cut him off before he could finish. “No! Of course I’ll do it! Can’t have our star player go hungry, now can we?” You cringed at your own words and Jay eyed you suspiciously. Sunghoon beamed, and Jake’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of you in pure confusion. “Um, any preferences?”

His smile got wider. “A tuna mayo would be amazing. Thanks, Y/N! You’re the best!”

“Sure…” you mumbled and quickly walked away, more bemused than ever. You checked your watch. You had 10 minutes before the first bell rang, and you could not be late for class, which meant you needed to hurry.

You got back to Sunghoon’s classroom just a minute before the first bell. To your dismay, the class was almost full, and girls had gathered around him, trying to get his attention, but he seemed unbothered by their presence. You braced yourself and walked towards him. As your presence rarely went by unnoticed, most eyes were on you and Sunghoon. Not only were you two some of the most popular kids in school, you also happened to be handing him his lunch, a never-seen-before sight between the two of you.

“I also got you banana milk, for good measure…”

What had seemed like a great idea a few minutes ago, something to appease the devil in him, now felt like the biggest mistake of your life. The girls around him started whispering left and right and you weren’t sure whether they felt bad for you, sensing an incoming rejection, or wanted to tear you to shreds for even trying.

The whispers grew even louder when Sunghoon took the sandwich and milk from your hands, thanking you with a smile. You’d be lying if you said your heart hadn’t done a small jump in your chest at that moment. As much as you hated to admit it, if looks were the sole factor for popularity, then you could definitely understand why Park Sunghoon was so loved. His face looked like it had been carved by the gods themselves. When his eyebrows weren’t turned in a frown, his eyes looked almost sweet, especially when he laughed. His two moles gave him so much charm, the curve of his nose was so delicate and his pink lips looked so, so soft…

You cleared your throat and smiled back at him before turning around to walk to your own classroom.

“Wait, Y/N!”

You turned back around, all eyes on you. You could feel Jay’s eyes burning holes into you. Sunghoon was still smiling. You thought you’d seen him smile more in the past two days than you had in all the years you’d known him.

“I’ll see you later.”

—

And indeed see him later you did. You always hung back a bit after classes ended to get homework done or work out student council issues. Being in an empty classroom brought you some peace and quiet, very different from the busyness and noise of your home. You couldn’t even focus in your own room, your siblings or parents always barging in to disturb you. The after-school janitors now knew you by name and saved cleaning the classroom you were sitting in for last.

You had been barely sitting there for 5 minutes, nose buried in a math problem, when Park Sunghoon graciously strode in, swung the chair in front of you around and sat on it, arms crossed over its back as he peered at you. You didn’t even bother to look up at him as you spoke. “What, Park?”

“Oh no, back to last name basis already?” he joked. You didn’t laugh. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Wow, tough crowd. Anyways, thanks for the sandwich today.”

This made you look at him. Or rather, shoot daggers at him. “Yeah, what the hell was that all about? Did you have to pull that little stunt in front of everybody? You know what our school is like! Rumors are gonna start spreading like wildfire.”

“I already told you,” he said with a defensive tone. “Forgot my lunch, everything was gonna run out, didn’t want to get hungry later,” he said as he shrugged, completely ignoring the latter part of your complaint.

“And you couldn’t have gone and gotten it yourself?”

He beamed. If it wasn’t so damn beautiful, you probably would have started getting tired of his stupid smile already. “Why would I do that when I could get you to do it?”

You sighed. “I knew you weren’t the nicest guy, but I didn’t know you could be such an asshole, Park.”

If you hadn’t been staring him down so intently, you might not have noticed the falter in his smile, so quick it was.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. If anything, I’m doing you a favor by not sending out to everyone that picture you so desperately want to keep secret. Thing is, doing that wouldn’t benefit me in any way, except for getting the satisfaction of seeing everybody realize you’re not as perfect as they think you are. Whereas holding it over your head allows me to do basically anything I want with you. And that, that is just so much fun,” he beams, lowering his voice into a whisper for the last sentence.

What a psycho, you thought. You just sighed once more and returned to your textbook, too weirded out to say anything back. You hoped the silence would make Sunghoon realize how creepy what he had just said was.

It was quiet in the room, only the sound of your pencil scratching your notebook could be heard. Sunghoon sat in the same position and watched you working. He often saw you like this, focused and benched over a desk, in the library or walking past your classroom. But it was always in passing, and looking at you so closely made all the world’s difference. He could see how you scrunched your nose when the problem got particularly difficult, or how your smirk as you solved another one made your left dimple appear. He also liked the annoyed looks you gave him every once in a while, as if his presence was disturbing your focus. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something about seeing someone who always went about their way with such purpose sitting in such silence.

He decided to break that silence. “You know, Jay was asking about you earlier.”

You kept your eyes trained on your notebook but abruptly stopped writing, your pencil leaving a small scratch on the paper. This didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon. “Did he?” you said, trying to sound as uninterested as possible, although you couldn’t help but be curious. Ever since Jay and you had grown apart, there was always a part of you wondering what he was up to, how he was doing, if he thought of you once in a while or reminisced about the good old times as you sometimes did.

“Yeah. I mean, everyone did, but I didn’t really care,” he answers simply, and even though you’re itching to push him to say more, you stay quiet. “You’re right, by the way, I do know the people in our school. The rumors have already started spreading. Up to you whether you wanna deny them or not, though,” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t even think about it, Park. There’s not a chance in hell I’ll let them think we have a thing going on. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.”

He chuckled. “Trust me, I know. Anyway, he wanted to know why you did that for me. Guess he was jealous you didn’t do it for him, too.”

“Why would he be?” you asked, trying to make the question sound as innocent as possible.

“Well, you two go a long way back, right?” he asked tentatively, as if testing the waters.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then it was probably weird for him to see his childhood best friend and his best bro interacting out of nowhere, even though we’ve both seen each other around a lot and nothing has ever come out of that. Don’t you think?”

A beat passed as you thought about it. “Yeah, I guess that’d look weird to him,” you replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.

You quickly wrote down your last answer, packed up your things, and stood up. “Well, I’m off now. I’ll see you around, unfortunately.”

Sunghoon, surprised at your quick departure, scrambled to get off his chair and chased after you. “Do you want me to drop you off? I’ve got a car, you know. Much more glamorous than the bus.”

You turned around and looked at him. “I’d rather get hit by said bus than get in your car, Park.”

He stood there, watching you walk away with a smirk on his face as your ponytail swayed from side to side. This was going to be a challenge. You were going to be a challenge.

Thing is, he loved a good challenge.

—

Back home, you flopped down on your bed and buried your face in your pillow. You laid there for a few minutes, taking some time to gather your thoughts and try to understand Sunghoon’s actions. It was of no use; you weren’t a mind-reader, and he seemed impossible to figure out. He could make you do basically whatever he wanted to, and he decided to make you get him lunch, creating rumors along the way? What could he possibly get out of that?

Your reflexions were quickly interrupted, however, by a flurry of incoming messages on your phone. Someone had posted a photo of you handing his banana milk to Sunghoon on your school’s Instagram account - because apparently, your school was so obsessed with gossip that they had created an Instagram page just for it. The photo had blown up among your peers and it made you wonder if people really were that bored with their lives.

People you barely knew but that felt entitled to knowing your relationship status were DMing you, asking about today’s events. You quickly got tired of it, so you texted your worried and confused friends that you didn’t feel like talking tonight and would catch up with them tomorrow. You opened your textbook, deciding that studying would be the best and most efficient distraction.

When your parents called you and your siblings for dinner, you still weren’t feeling great. Your family quickly registered your annoyed expression and could only hope for the best. You already weren’t the easiest to live with, but when you were tired, you just got a hundred times worse.

“So, how was everyone’s day?” your mom asked cheerily.

Yeeun’s eyes lit up instantly. “Mine was great! I met a really cute boy. His name is Nishimura Riki and he just transferred from Japan.”

“Oh, that’s nice!”

“You’re too young to be thinking about boys, Yeeun.”

Your mom and dad had replied at the same time, then gave each other a stern look.

“I’m not thinking about him, Dad, just looking,” your sister replied, earning a chuckle from your concerned father.

“Mine was alright. I guess the start-of-a-new-year excitement has already worn off. After a week,” Sunoo said with a sigh.

Your mom turned to you. “What about you, Y/N?”

“It was fine.”

The sharpness of your tone changed the atmosphere in the room at once. You ignored the looks your family exchanged and continued eating your food, eyes not leaving your plate.

For some reason, Sunoo thought it’d be a great idea to chime in. “She’s not happy because she had to buy Park Sunghoon his lunch and everybody went crazy over it.”

“Sunoo!” you protested. Your parents didn’t need to know about this sort of stuff.

“Park Sunghoon? Is that someone we’re supposed to know?” your dad questioned.

Yeeun scoffed. “Uh, he’s only the most popular and handsome guy at Y/N and Sunoo’s school, dad. Duh.”

“Right. Duh,” your dad said, imitating your sister’s tone.

“And why did you have to buy his lunch, Y/N?” your mom asked.

“Because he saw what she looks like when she’s not at school,” Sunoo said, not even giving you the chance to reply yourself.

“Sunoo!” you scolded again.

“And now I guess he’s using that against her to get her to do what he wants? Right, Y/N?”

You glared at your brother and let a beat pass. “Right,” you reluctantly admitted.

“Lucky…” your sister mused, expression like she was daydreaming about being Sunghoon’s personal assistant.

Your dad ignored your sister and looked straight at you. “That’s inadmissible, Y/N. You can’t let him do that.”

“Your father’s right, sweetie. It’s not right,” your mom added when you stayed silent.

With everybody’s eyes on you, you felt obligated to reply. “It’s fine. It’s not like he asked me to do anything crazy. I’m sure he’ll stop soon enough.”

“You know, boys that age, they’ll do anything to get a girl’s attention,” your dad warned. “Just ignore him and he’ll go away.”

“If she ignores him, he’ll tell everyone what she’s really like,” your brother explained.

“And what’s so bad about that? I’m sure it’d be easier if you stopped lying to everyone.”

Everyone suddenly stopped in their motions, wondering why your mom would say something so true yet so controversial. You looked up at her. “What’s so bad about that? What’s so bad? I don’t know, maybe the fact that I’ve worked so hard all these years for everybody to like me and look up to me only for a stupid picture taken by a stupid boy to ruin everything,” you said all in one breath, voice coming out harsh. You were tired of having to explain the same thing over and over again - your parents just didn’t understand why you did what you did.

Your mom opened and closed her mouth again, knowing it was useless trying to talk sense into you. It never ended well when you had this conversation.

“Who put mushrooms in this anyway? You know I hate mushrooms,” you said before filling up your bowl and taking it to eat in your room, making sure you’d slammed your door behind you.

—

On the bus the next day, you tried to explain the events of the previous day to your friends.

“There’s nothing really to it. He just asked me to get him lunch so I did, and when I handed it to him, his whole class was there and saw everything.”

“I get that, but I just don’t understand why he made you do it in the first place, or why you agreed,” Heeseung said, “it’s so unlike the both of you to do something like that.”

You hadn’t even thought to come up with an excuse for your and Sunghoon’s yesterday - your friends were definitely super confused, but you didn’t want to tell them the truth, so you had to quickly find something to say that was somewhat believable, and change the subject.

“I have no idea why he did what he did, but I didn’t want to cause a scene so I just agreed. I don’t really care, to be honest, I just wish it didn’t have such consequences. People seem to think we’re characters on a stupid Netflix coming-of-age series or something, when we literally just go to their school.”

As soon as you’d turned your phone back on this morning, it started pinging with all the messages that had flown in since last night. People were talking about it everywhere: Kim Y/N, highly sought-after bachelorette, had offered Park Sunghoon, notorious rejecter of girls and breaker of hearts, a sandwich and a banana milk, and he had taken them. What’s more, he had been seen at lunch heartily eating them. This was serious.

You didn’t think things could get any worse until you got to school. You were used to random people coming up to you in the hallways or in class for help, except today they weren’t asking for help at all - they were asking what was up between you and Sunghoon, as though handing him a tuna mayo was like asking for his hand in marriage. Most of them were just curious, but some, especially his fanclub members, had an aggressive tone to their voice, which you weren’t used to. If people started liking you less because of Sunghoon, you were going to kill him.

But you had to hold onto that thought, because an all too familiar voice had suddenly called out to you on your way to class. You took a deep breath and turned around, watching him take long strides towards you. You immediately became aware of the amount of people in the hallway and realized you couldn’t talk to him like you had the previous day in front of everybody. You mustered the fakest smile you could and greeted him.

“Hi, Sunghoon. What can I help you with today?”

He smiled, obviously enjoying the fact that you had to be nice to him. “I’ve got my sports bag because of practice later tonight. Mind holding onto that for me for the day?”

Your fake smile turned a bit crazy as your eyes widened in disbelief. "Don’t you have a locker for that, Sunghoon?”

“Yeah, but it’s so much more fun if you’re the one to hold it.” And with that, he threw the bag in your direction, leaving approximately 0.5 seconds to catch it. “I’ll need that later today. Meet me in front of the locker rooms after school, yeah?”

He didn’t bother to wait for your answer and walked away, Jake and Jay following closely behind. Jay sent you a questioning look, to which you could only reply with a shrug. If it wasn’t for all the students in the hallway, you would’ve been yelling Sunghoon’s ear off at that point. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a possibility, so you just smiled to your friends who were looking more confused than ever.

“Let’s just go to class, guys.”

—

Throughout the whole day, you could feel people staring at you, then at the bag you were holding, then starting to whisper among themselves. You tried your best to concentrate in class so you could momentarily stop pondering over what Sunghoon’s evil master plan might be, but everyone seemed bent on making that usually simple feat impossible. When 3:30 p.m. finally came around, you bid your friends goodbye and headed to the boys’ locker room. Every boy walking in eyed you suspiciously, unsure as to what you could be doing there. Of course, Sunghoon had to take his sweet time to get there.

Staring at the opposite wall and planning Sunghoon’s murder in your head, you hadn’t noticed Jay and Jake arriving. Jay signaled for his friend to go inside the locker room and told him he’d join him in a minute. He waved his hand in front of you to get your attention, a smile on his face. You sighed in relief at the familiar sight of your friend.

“Hey, Jay. Sorry I didn’t see you.”

“You okay, Y/N? You look like you’re about to murder someone,” he said, slightly amused.

“If only you knew,” you mumbled.

He noticed the bag in your hand. “You waiting for Sunghoon?”

“Yeah. If only he could hurry up a little bit. I’ve got stuff to do.”

There was something about Jay that made it impossible to lie to him. Maybe it was the fact that you had known each other for so long, way before you’d turned into what you were now, that made you feel as though showing a side of you that gets annoyed and impatient and doesn’t smile all the time was okay.

Jay looked at his feet before looking back up at you. You were still staring at the wall but your murderous thoughts had somewhat calmed. “Mind telling me what this whole thing with Sunghoon is about?”

You turned to him and were about to fumble for an answer when someone interrupted you. “What whole thing with me?”

Whew. Saved by Sunghoon. You didn’t like that it was thanks to him that you could get out of answering Jay, but at least you didn’t have to come up with yet another stupid excuse.

Jay turned his attention to his friend and stood up straighter. “You know, making her get you lunch or hold your bag all day. There’s dozens of girls who’d be more than happy to do that for you, so why Y/N? She doesn’t have time for this stuff.”

You looked at Jay with surprise. Sure, you were friends, but you hadn’t thought he’d defend you like that in front of Sunghoon.

“Well, Y/N’s just such a nice, reliable person. No one better to ask to do those things.” What a reason, you thought. He turned to you and took the bag from your hands. “Thanks, Y/N. I’ll see you outside in a couple minutes.”

“Huh? What do you mean? I’m leaving,” you said, body already headed towards the other direction.

“What? You can’t leave before practice has even started. Go to the benches outside, we’ll be out in a few.”

You were about to open your mouth to protest, but he cut you off. “You don’t want to?” He started pulling out his phone. “That’s funny, because there’s a pict-”

“I’ll be on the benches! See you soon!” you quickly said, pushing the two boys inside the locker room, Sunghoon smirking, Jay looking at you in utter confusion.

Girls sat in a few different groups in the bleachers. You recognized the girls in one of those groups, so you decided to sit with them. As you approached, they quickly looked at each other and then back at you, expressions half-friendly, half-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here.

“Hi guys! Mind if I join?”

“Hi Y/N! No, of course not, come sit,” Jake’s girlfriend, Yujin, said.

“Are you guys here to watch practice?”

“Yeah! I’m here on girlfriend duties for Jake. These two are just here for the eye candy and to keep me company,” Yujin explained.

“Yeah, but mostly for the eye candy,” added her friend Wonyoung.

“What about you, Y/N? I’ve never seen you here,” asked the last girl, Gaeul.

“Oh, um, Sunghoon asked me to come, actually.” You regretted your words as soon as you’d let them out. They all ooh-ed at your response, making you blush, which just egged them on. This was nothing to blush about, Y/N. You’d just made the rumors get a hundred times worse with one sentence.

“The whole school’s been talking about you two, you know. Anything you wanna share? Don’t worry, we can keep a secret,” said Wonyoung with a wink. You chuckled awkwardly.

“Oh my gosh, yes, tell us!”

“Guys, don’t make her uncomfortable,” Yujin chimed in, smiling at you. You returned her smile, grateful, once again, that you didn’t have to explain your new link to Sunghoon. “Look, practice is starting.”

You turned your head towards the field as the soccer players started doing laps as per the coach’s instructions. Your eyes immediately drifted towards Sunghoon without you even realizing it. His lean figure hypnotized you. The last time you had had PE with him was in freshman year, and puberty had hit him like a fine, fine truck. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he lightly jogged next to his friends, chatting like it was nothing. You weren’t being very subtle with your stare and he eventually noticed you, sending a wink your way. This made you snap out of your reverie and you scowled at him, as if he could make out your annoyed expression from such a distance. You turned back to the girls, who were giggling at you.

“Wow, those were some serious heart eyes you were giving him, Y/N,” Gaeul giggled.

You opened your mouth in mild shock. “Was not!”

“Sure, whatever you say,” she replied knowingly. “Well, look all you want. Warm-up is the best part. It gets boring when they actually start playing.”

“No way! Watching them play is my favorite part,” Yujin disagreed.

“Yeah, that’s cause you’ve got someone to root for,” retorted Wonyoung. She looked at you slyly. “Well, I guess Y/N does, too.”

You scoffed. “Believe me, I will not be rooting for him.”

You started staring at him again, this time with a glare in your eyes. From their silence, you deduced the girls must’ve judged it a better idea to not question you too much. After the boys were done with running exercises and stretching (which you had enjoyed watching a bit too much, if you spoke truthfully), they started playing. The coach split the boys into two teams, Jay leading one and Sunghoon the other. It was a very close game. You could never tell who was leading, although that might have been due to your extensive lack of knowledge in the sport. All you knew was that you desperately wanted to see Sunghoon lose; that might put him down a peg. What you told yourself, however, was that you wanted Jay to win. So when he scored a goal, you surprised the girls next to you, the boys on the field and yourself as you jumped up and down, cheering for him. Realizing what you were doing, you quickly sat down and sent him an awkward thumbs up.

Jay tried to hide it, but he was blushing. Hard. Truth be told, he had noticed your little eye contact moment with Sunghoon during warm-up and hadn’t particularly enjoyed it. So seeing you cheer for him like that made him swell with pride, which only grew when Sunghoon scored and you barely reacted.

When the game was over, you thought you might be able to finally go home and start studying. But Sunghoon had other plans for you, as always these past couple days. Heading towards the showers, he motioned for you to come down from the benches. As you did, Jay walked past, and you smiled at each other.

“Good game.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” He continued walking as Sunghoon reached you.

“What about me? I scored a goal, too.”

“Oh, did you? Didn’t even notice," you said, looking at your nails. The polish was starting to chip - you’d need to reapply a layer tonight.

“Whatever. Wait for me, yeah?”

“What? No! I gotta go home!” But your protests were in vain, as he completely ignored you.

You waited outside the school with Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul. After a little while, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon joined you guys, having successfully showered and not smelling of sweat and dirt, thank God. Yujin was dropping her boyfriend and her friends off, so they bid their goodbyes and headed towards her car. Sunghoon and Jay also started to walk towards the parking lot, leaving you standing alone, not sure what to do. Sunghoon turned around and looked at you with a frown.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know, what are you doing?”

“I’m dropping you and Jay off.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, taken aback. “Didn’t know I was just supposed to guess that.”

As soon as Sunghoon started to drive, you noticed the awkward air between the three of you. Luckily, after years of being a people-pleaser, you had become somewhat of an expert in making small talk, which helped prevent a silent ride. You don’t think you could’ve gone through that without a mental breakdown.

Because you and Sunghoon lived closer to each other (and we all know the consequences of that), Jay was dropped off before you. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at school,” he said before giving you a last glance.

“Bye, Jay.”

“See you, bro.”

Thankfully, you only lived a couple minutes by car from Jay’s and hoped the rest of the car ride would be peaceful. Which was really stupid of you to hope for, because you were in the car with Park Sunghoon.

“So, Park Jongseong, huh?” he said, eyes trained on the road in front of him. Even though he was trying to keep his tone light, you thought you detected a slight harshness to his gaze.

“What about him?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“There’s nothing to say. We’ve just been friends for a long time.”

It was silent for about five seconds. “You really feasted your eyes during warm-up, huh?”

“Shut up, Park.”

“No, it’s alright, I get it. I’d do the same.” He laughed at his own joke that wasn’t really a joke. Why was he laughing, anyway?

You looked at him. His face was so different from all those times you’d seen it at school. His eyes, rid of the harshness you’d seen earlier, crinkled at the edges and had an amused glint in them. His smile dug pretty dimples into his cheeks and you let your gaze linger long enough to notice he had sharp, vampire-like canines, which were surprisingly cute. You didn’t know why he was showing you a side of him he never showed anyone, except for his close friends, you assumed. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you chuckled with him.

“So, do you already know what task you’re gonna give me tomorrow?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Hmm, haven’t really thought about it yet. I’d rather keep it a surprise, anyway. Keep you on your toes.”

“Pfft. What a great surprise.” He laughed again, and you couldn’t help but join him. He was unusually giddy that day, but you didn’t want to complain. This was a thousand times better than the arrogant Sunghoon with his I’m-better-than-all-of-you facade. What you didn’t know was that he, too, liked your snarky, no-nonsense side infinitely more than the model student, pretty girl persona you had created for yourself.

Finally at your house, you got out of the car and headed to your house after waving goodbye to Sunghoon. He rolled his window down and leaned out of it.

“Y/N?”

You turned around. “Yeah?”

“About your task tomorrow…”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m sure you’ll love it.” He gave you an umpteenth wink, rolled his window back up and drove off.

You weren’t so awful to your parents and siblings that evening.

—

The next day at school, you were wondering why Sunghoon had said you would love your task. Because you were, in fact, quite loathing it. He had found you studying during your free period after lunch and dragged you to the part of the library where it was okay to talk a bit over whisper level. You were currently going over a scene in The Tempest which you had seen in AP English Lit last year and clearly had no time for. But obviously, that wasn’t a problem to Sunghoon, who just wanted to get a passing grade on his English essay without putting in too much effort.

After twenty minutes of going over the same five lines, you were about to give up. “Look, Sunghoon, I don’t mind helping you. I’ve tutored dozens of students before so I’m used to it. But you’re not making any effort! If you want to get it, you need to at least try.”

“But it’s so boring,” he whined, not unlike a child. “How am I supposed to find any meaning in this? It’s just stupid people doing stupid stuff on a stupid island.” You cringed at his words and hoped Shakespeare wasn’t listening in on this conversation.

“It’s not stupid. It’s about power, and being punished for chasing it, and it’s a metaphor fo-”

“Ugh!” he groaned loudly. “You know what, I don’t care enough about this. Just write the essay for me, okay?” He got up and left, again not waiting for your answer. You wanted to protest, but you know what would happen if you said no to any of his requests, so you just quickly got to work.

Everyday over the next couple of weeks, Sunghoon would find something for you to do. Most days, he’d just get you to buy him lunch (although he thankfully had started paying you back) or carry his stuff around like the first two times. He didn’t ask you again to tutor him, however, so you had gotten used to sitting in an empty class together after class, you doing his homework for him and attempting (and failing) to explain it to him, and him alternating between playing on his phone and looking at you. Although it’d flustered you at first, not used to having someone stare at you while you were trying to concentrate, you’d grown somewhat okay with it - all of your complaints were ignored anyway. One time, he even got you to work on his science project with him, a weirdly-shaped volcano he needed to paint and decorate before actually putting the chemicals in. You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t been fun painting it together, occasionally ‘accidentally’ getting paint on the other’s hand or cheek instead of the volcano.

You went to see him at practice two to three times a week, although you weren’t sure what use that had for him. If anything, you were probably the one who enjoyed yourself more. Perhaps, after being forced to spend so much time with him, you had started to soften up to him. And, perhaps, that made you appreciate his good looks even more. You couldn’t deny the effect his damp hair, stuck to his forehead with sweat, had on you.

The rumors hadn’t died down, but people had started getting used to seeing the two of you together around, so they didn’t ogle their eyes at you everytime you and Sunghoon had some kind of interaction. Not liking that you couldn’t control people’s opinion of you anymore, you were still a bit bothered by them, but Sunghoon’s little posse of fangirls didn’t seem to be. They’d been the one to question you the most, and you got a few nasty looks in the hallway, but the gossip around school hadn’t stopped them from keeping on following him around, harassing him from morning to afternoon by going to his homeroom at breaks, sitting at a table near him at lunch, and going to see him at practice. Their group had dwindled down, though; most likely, some of them thought you two might be dating and had finally realized they didn’t stand a chance with the one and only Park Sunghoon. Thank God you had your friends and now sometimes Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul around you during those times, otherwise, you’d probably have been jumped. Spending so much time with him had kept you a couple times from your friends, which they’d complained about, but sensing that they couldn’t do much about it, they let you be, even though they hadn’t gotten a satisfactory explanation yet.

One person who didn’t want to, or rather couldn’t let it go, though, was Jay. He still couldn’t figure out why you’d started spending so much time with Sunghoon, seemingly overnight, and it created an unpleasant, sour pit in his stomach. Out of all the people you could’ve decided to form a new friendship with, why’d it have to be his best friend, meaning he saw you more often now than before, but not because he was the one you had come to see? Why did you never get him banana milk for lunch, and why’d you only start coming to soccer practice because Sunghoon had asked you to? He’d tried to ask both of you about it, but you always gave him half-assed excuses that didn’t make much sense.

He realized what he was feeling was jealousy the day you came into their homeroom before the first bell rang and asked Sunghoon how his science project had gone. You’d never asked him how his science project, or any of his projects or tests, for that matter, had gone. He recognized it as the same feeling he had harbored when he had come back from the US in middle school and saw you dating Choi Soobin, or when Lee Heeseung had joined your tight-knit group of friends in freshman year. You and Soobin had only dated for three weeks and a half because you had a relationship-terminating argument over mint chocolate ice cream, and you and Heeseung had never become more than friends, nor had the intention to. But Jay didn’t care about that; all he saw was that there were boys around you that weren’t him. He had never acted upon those feelings, dismissing them as over-protectiveness for someone he had known since forever, but seeing Sunghoon and you laughing together hit too close to home. He couldn’t ignore how he felt because he was reminded of it everyday, but he didn’t know what to do with these newfound emotions.

And what’s the best thing to do whenever you don’t know what to do? Talk to your friends. Or well, in this case, your friend. He didn’t wanna talk about you to Sunghoon. He was a firm believer of bro code, but he didn’t wanna bottle up his feelings like he had all these years. So he went to Jake and told him everything, from your childhood friendship to Soobin, Heeseung and now Sunghoon.

“I know it’s stupid. It’s this whole cliché of, you only realize what you have when you lose it.”

“Well, you haven’t really lost Y/N, you know. It’s not like Sunghoon and her are dating.”

“I guess not, but he clearly likes her. It’d be a dick move to go after her now that they’ve got something going on.”

Jake hesitated for a second, debating whether he should say what he was thinking, but ultimately deciding it might be better to do it. “You know, I’m not sure that he does. You know what Sunghoon’s like. He’s never very honest about his intentions. I don’t wanna bring the subject up with him, cause I don’t wanna cause any drama, but it’s so suspicious to me that he’s suddenly spending time with Y/N when he’s never mentioned her all those years and when he rejects all these girls all the time.”

“I think it’s weird, too,” agreed Jay. “I just can’t seem to figure it out. And I’m a bit scared for Y/N, to be honest. Remember that girl in freshman year? They’d gotten along really well when he suddenly dropped her. I still remember his cold-ass stare when he turned her down. It even chilled me, man.”

“God, yeah, I always forget about that. He may be a jackass to all those girls, but when you know what he’s really like like we do, it seems so unlikely that he’d do something like that.”

Jay sighed and looked out into the distance. “I just hope he doesn’t hurt Y/N.”

Jake looked at his friend, thinking how to phrase his next sentence. “Like I said, I don’t wanna cause any drama… but, man, if you don’t want him to hurt Y/N, just don’t let him. If you make a move on her, you might get to her before he does. Better to do that now than to have to pick up the pieces, don’t you think?”

Jay mentally thanked the heavens for gifting him with a friend like Sim Jaeyun. “Yes, that is much, much better.”

He was going to stop sitting on his feelings and finally let them see the light.

—

But before that, Sunghoon had another one of his requests for you. You were sitting together in an empty classroom after school as you often did these past weeks. For you, today was an ordinary day, but the boy in front of you had something else in mind. He wasn’t saying anything but you could feel his nervousness and it was starting to make you feel anxious as well.

You lifted your head from your notes and looked at Sunghoon who seemed lost in his thoughts. “What is it, Sunghoon?”

This made him snap out of his reverie. “Um, nothing.”

“Well, seeing how you’ve been tapping your foot at the speed of lightning ever since we got here, it doesn’t seem like nothing.” You crossed your arms over the table and looked at him more intently, eyes asking him to tell you what was on his mind.

He sighed, giving in. “I was just thinking… there’s something I wanna tell you.”

“Go on. “

“I need you to date me.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Park Sunghoon… needed you… to date him? Was he asking you out? The way he’d worded it was a bit odd, but you didn’t put it past him.

Taking in your silence and wide eyes, he quickly added: “Not in that way! I, um, need you to be my fake girlfriend.”

Oh.

So he wasn’t asking you out. You weren’t sure why that made you so upset, but you tried to keep the disappointment out of your eyes and voice.

“Right,” you said, tone a bit harsher than you’d meant it to, “and why would I do that?”

Sunghoon smirked lightly. “Well, first of all, you don’t have much of a choice.” You rolled your eyes at that. It’d been a few days since the reason why you had started hanging out in the first place had come up, and you didn’t like to be reminded of that god-forsaken picture.

“And second of all… I guess I should be completely honest with you.” This piqued your interest, and you leaned back on your chair to listen to him.

“When I saw you at the store and took pictures of you, I wasn’t really thinking of doing anything. Maybe just get a laugh or two and tease you about it. I even told you outside the store that I didn’t know what I was gonna do. To be honest, I didn’t really think there was anything you could do for me that I’d need to force you to do. So I thought about it all night. And I asked myself, what’s the thing that pisses me off the most at school that you could change?” he looked at you expectantly, as if you could figure it out. You just shrugged.

“It’s those girls that keep following me around. All these years, I’ve acted like a giant asshole with them and still they think they have a crush on me or whatever. And I’ve never liked any of them, they’re all so superficial and ask me out without having ever talked to me before. So I thought, hey, maybe if I have a girlfriend, they’ll leave me alone. Which is why I made you do all those things for me.”

“So that they’d think we were dating?” you asked, trying to take all this information in. You’d sort of known it this entire time, but Sunghoon blatantly admitting he’d been using you hurt nonetheless.

“Yeah. But obviously, you always denied the rumors, so it hasn’t worked as well as I thought it would. It still did a bit though. So I think, if we take it the next step, and actually pretend we’re dating, it should really work. But I need your full cooperation on this, okay?” He looked at you, hopeful eyes and hands in prayer.

You sighed. As he said, it wasn’t like you had much of a choice.

“Please, Y/N? I really want them off my back.”

“Fine, Park, I’ll do it. But this better be the last thing you make me do.” You couldn’t help but sound cold. This made you rethink these past few weeks’ events. Were you the only one actually enjoying spending time together?

“Thanks, Y/N. And yeah, of course. You won’t have to carry my bag or get my lunch anymore if you want. Maybe it’ll be more believable if I do that for you.”

You had focused your attention back to your homework, wanting this conversation to be over as soon as possible.

“I’ll also pick you up in the morning, so you don’t need to take the bus.”

You hummed in response.

“Um, and I’ll also drop you off after school and after practice…” Sunghoon trailed, troubled by your silence. You hadn’t been so cold since the first couple times you two had talked, and he hated the idea that that might be because of what he had just said. So he took a chance.

“You know, Y/N, this doesn’t change anything. I wouldn’t have made you do all those things if I didn’t like spending time with you. You’re really nice to be around,” he admitted shyly.

You were far too flustered to lift your head and let him see your face. You just grinned and murmured, “Whatever, Park.”

—

Sunghoon kept his promise and picked you up in the morning. He called you at exactly 7:55 a.m., saying he was waiting outside and you rushed out of your house, piece of toast still in your mouth. In the car, you two went over what being in a fake relationship would involve.

“We just need to be seen around together, right?” you proposed, hoping your lack of experience wasn’t showing.

Thankfully, Sunghoon had no idea what being in a relationship, fake or not, entailed either. “Yeah, I think. And maybe…” he hesitated.

“Maybe?” you prodded, hoping he wouldn’t (or actually would, but you’d never admit it) say what you thought he was about to say.

“I don’t know, like, hold hands, and… kiss.” The last part had barely been audible, but you’d still heard it.

“Kiss?” you echoed, voice almost a shriek. “I don’t think we need to go that far, Sunghoon.” A little voice in your head was saying that you’d really like to go that far but you made it shut up.

He was blushing profusely but didn’t want to drop the subject there. “At least on the cheek, or something. We do have to make it believable.”

And there it was. The little sentence, reminding you none of this was real. Seemed like that was a pattern in your life.

You looked out the window. Sunghoon glanced over at you, cursing himself for always saying the wrong thing. He was trying so hard to drown his blooming feelings for you that he kept on hurting you in the process. This whole fake-dating plan was the perfect excuse for him to spend more time with you without having to come to terms with his feelings.

“C’mon, Y/N, it’ll be fun. Promise.” He nudged your arm playfully, making you look at him. His smile was contagious; you could never help yourself but start grinning when you saw his face light up like that. Maybe he’s right, you thought. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

When you arrived at school, Sunghoon told you to wait for a second. He got out of the car and quickly walked around to your side, opening the door for you. You hated how your heart fluttered at the sweet gesture, reminding yourself it was just for show. The important part was that it fooled everyone else, and it did - as you took Sunghoon’s hand, letting him help you out of the car, and walked with him hand in hand towards the school gates, you could feel all eyes on you. You could hear whispers of see, I told you they were dating! and defeated no ways.

You realized you didn’t care about what anybody might be seeing, which was a first for you. You’d always made sure everybody saw you exactly the way you wanted to see them. As he was the most popular guy in school, dating Park Sunghoon at once helped your reputation and put you on many girls’ bad side. But holding his hand, you felt as though there was some kind of barrier protecting you. You’d never felt so exposed and so safe at the same time.

You noticed Jay standing next to the gates, looking particularly antsy. He’d texted you that morning, saying there was something he wanted to tell you. Usually, you’d have stayed up, overthinking what that could be, but what with today being the day you’d announce yourself to the world (your school) as Park Sunghoon’s (fake) girlfriend, you had had other things to worry about. You gestured at Sunghoon towards Jay. Your friend only saw you when you were calling his name, standing right in front of him.

“Oh, hi, Y/N! I-”

He immediately cut himself off when he saw yours and Sunghoon’s interlaced fingers. Embarrassed, you took your hand out of your fake boyfriend’s, opting for holding onto his pinky instead, not realizing that it was a much cuter action that made one boy’s heart flutter and the other’s fill up with sadness.

“There was something you wanted to tell me?” you asked with a small smile.

“Uh- yeah, but it’s not important, actually. We can talk about it later.”

“Oh, you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He returned your smile, hoping to make the situation less awkward. It was very obvious he didn’t want to say whatever it was he needed to tell you in front of Sunghoon, which you had both understood.

Sunghoon spoke up. “Right, well I’ll see you in class, Jay. Y/N, I’ll walk you to yours.” And with that, he started walking, holding his friend’s gaze for a few steps. You turned back to look at Jay for a split second, trying to decipher what had just happened, but Sunghoon grabbed you by the waist, making you look up at him in surprise, and breaking Jay’s heart even further.

—

Once Sunghoon and you got to your class, you felt as though you were in one of those movies where the boy drops the girl off at her house after their first date. Except that this was in a crowded school hallway two minutes before the first bell rang. What you had in common with that girl from the movie, however, was that you were freaking out over what your boy was going to do next. In the car, you’d ended up agreeing to a kiss on the cheek, but you hadn’t realized it would be happening so soon.

As you two hovered around your classroom’s door, you looked at each other and giggled. Damn, you were selling this well. So well that if you could have ascended out of your body and looked at the scene as a third party, you’d probably have barfed all over yourself.

You were still holding his pinky. You could tell he was too hesitant to do anything now that you had reached the classroom, and so you mustered all of your courage, stood on your tippy toes and softly pressed your lips to his cheeks. (You were pretty sure you’d heard gasps around you.) Your courage went as fast as it came, and as realization hit you, you quickly squeaked “bye, Sunghoon” and practically ran to your seat. The boy stood there for another second or two, hand going to his cheek where you had just kissed him. He walked happily to his own classroom, completely oblivious to the stares he was receiving.

Heeseung, Jiung and Sieun were looking at you in disbelief as you approached them. Sumin, on the other hand, looked like she had paid no attention whatsoever to the scene.

“Y/N,” Sieun teased in a sing-song voice. “Care to explain what just happened?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve actually managed to make the oh-so-great Park Sunghoon fall for you?” Jiung asked jokingly.

You looked down in an attempt to hide your grin. You usually did that sort of stuff to appear humble when someone complimented you, but this time it was completely genuine. The mere thought of Sunghoon made you all giddy inside. “Um, yeah, he actually asked me to be his girlfriend last night.”

Your three friends gasped dramatically and Sieun pulled you into a hug, as if you’d just received an award of some kind. Heeseung and Jiung patted your shoulders, congratulating you.

“Sumin? Did you know about this?” Sieun enquired, turning to your friend.

“What? Oh, yeah, Y/N called me last night,” she answered, briefly looking at you before turning back to her phone. Sieun looked at you, surprised, not understanding Sumin’s reaction to what seemed like happy news.

You had indeed called Sumin the previous night, and the call had gone similarly to the way she was behaving this morning. Although you usually told her everything, this time, you didn’t want to share the fact that you and Sunghoon were only fake dating. You found yourself actually wanting it to be true - and you thought it’d be easier to believe it yourself if everyone, including your best friend, did too.

“Minie! I’ve got some news,” you’d said as soon as she picked out.

“Ooh! Hit me,” she’d replied with as much excitement in her voice as you.

“So…” you’d started, already giggling. “Sunghoon’s just asked me out. I haven’t told anyone else, I wanted you to be the first to know.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. After a while, you added, “Minie, you still there?”

“Huh? Yeah, um, that’s nice, Y/N, I’m happy for you,” she said, not sounding happy at all. There was no trace of excitement left in her voice.

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied, voice ten times smaller than a minute ago.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but I’ve got to go, my parents are calling me. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hung up suddenly, giving you no time to say bye in return. You were completely confused. Was Sumin bothered by you and Sunghoon dating? Other than a reminder about his past behavior, she hadn’t said anything when you two were getting closer. So what was wrong? You’d hoped you’d find out the next day at school, but the way she was acting didn’t help at all.

You snapped out of your flashback when Heeseung nudged you, faking a pout. “Not fair! Why did she get to know before we did?”

You forced a smile and said you’d known you’d see them the next day and thought it was better to tell them in person, and that you had just wanted to rant to someone quickly. Your teacher came in as the bell rang and everyone went to their seat. During class, you tried getting her attention so you could ask her if she was okay but she kept her attention on the teacher the whole time.

After that, as time went by, you kept up your charade of being the perfect student as usual, adding to that of being the perfect girlfriend to Sunghoon. Time with him passed by so quickly: you hadn’t realized you were more than halfway through the semester until you needed to wear a thicker jacket outside and the leaves had started falling, covering school grounds in shades of brown. The plan had worked: he was finally left alone by his admirers. Sumin had stopped being weird after a few days, saying she had had some problems with her parents but hadn’t gone into more detail. Everything was as great as it had ever been: good grades, good friends and a good boyfriend. Well, fake boyfriend, which you needed to remind yourself a bit too often, on the days Sunghoon didn’t do it himself. You felt a pinch in your heart every time he said something like, “there’s my fake girlfriend!” when it was just the two of you, or “great job today, Y/N” after dropping you off.

One day as you arrived home, Yeeun was waiting outside your house, trying to catch you red-handed. She dragged him inside by the arm and you panicked, not wanting him to see how you lived. But your messy room and invasive siblings didn’t scare him off at all; on the contrary, he smiled one of the biggest smiles you’d ever seen on him, canines and dimples on display. Your mom made him stay over for dinner and it was probably the happiest dinner you’d ever had. The idea of bringing someone home and having them see your habits and odd family dynamics had terrified you for the longest time, but you felt so comfortable around Sunghoon that it felt as if he was part of your home as soon as he’d stepped foot inside. You didn’t feel the need to hide anything from him.

After dinner, he helped your parents clear up the table and even washed the dishes, even though they kept insisting he didn’t have to do anything. He had completely won them over. They sat at the table and watched you two laugh together in the kitchen. They looked at each other, knowing they were thinking the exact same thing: their daughter hadn’t looked this happy in a while.

When you were done cleaning up, you two headed to your room under the pretense of needing to study.

“Alright, but keep the door open!” your mom had yelled after you, making you groan and Sunghoon’s face turn crimson red.

You really had planned on studying - there was a big test coming up and you couldn’t afford to get a bad grade. When you got your physics textbook out, Sunghoon groaned in protest.

“What? You seriously want to study right now?”

You sighed. “I don’t necessarily want to, no, but I need to. And so do you, may I add.”

“We’re not even in the same physics class!”

“Yeah, but we both have Mr. Cho, so I know you’re gonna have a test as well.”

He rolled his eyes and dramatically flung himself on your bed. “Fine.”

When he didn’t move for a few minutes, you guessed what he had meant was that he’d let you study but wasn’t going to do it himself. But after ten minutes, he suddenly got up. “I’m bored to death, Y/N. The test isn’t in another week. Show me what you do for fun,” he said, on the verge of desperation. It had only been ten minutes, but you felt bad having him over and not entertaining him.

“Well, I do have a Switch…” Sunghoon’s eyes widened in awe. “I guess we can play Mario Kart.”

He almost squealed in joy at that. You just chuckled at him, not knowing he was such a fan of car video games.

“I’m gonna crush you, Kim. Get ready,” he said, already looking victorious.

You smirked, not wanting him to get his hopes up. “Oh, it’s on, Park.”

As expected of a pro player like you (on non-schooldays, you could stay up all night playing this game), you won every single round. Sure, he gave you a run for your money, but you always came on top. He took it surprisingly well, congratulating you each time. After your fourth win in a row, you wiggled your face in front of his with a devilish smile, as you couldn’t help but torment him a little. But he wasn’t smiling. At first, you’d thought he was finally getting mad he kept on losing; but then the proximity between you two hit you. You noticed his eyes flicker momentarily to your lips and had backed off immediately.

“Um, if we go for another round, I’ll go easy on-”

He cut you off by putting his hand on your cheek, making you turn to look at him. You’d daydreamed about this moment before, but you hadn’t imagined your heart beating this fast or the butterflies eating away at your stomach. He was now fully staring at your lips, and you couldn’t look at anything else but his either. Too scared to move an inch, you felt him get closer and closer, so close that his lips were almost on-

“Y/N, mom says it’s late and Sunghoon needs to- AH!”

Sunoo had walked in, eyes riveted on his phone until he looked up and saw you and Sunghoon suspiciously close to each other. Sunghoon practically leaped off of your bed in surprise and you flung a pillow over your face, not believing you had almost kissed Park Sunghoon but that your stupid little brother had ruined everything.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” the culprit squeaked before running away. You and Sunghoon looked at each other. It was awkward for two seconds, then you both erupted in laughter.

“Alright, guess I should get going then. Um, thank you so much for tonight. I haven’t had a family dinner in a while, and… Well, it was really nice,” he admitted shyly after you’d calmed down.

“Of course, Sunghoon. I’m sure my parents would love to have you over any time.”

You walked him to your front door, where you exchanged goodbyes and I’ll see you tomorrows. You watched him take a few steps, then turn back and jog towards you. He stood in front of you for a second, then leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Bye, Y/N.”

You were too stunned to say it back.

—

After the almost-kiss, it felt as though something had changed between you and Sunghoon. The event had somewhat revealed your feelings: you both knew you wanted to kiss each other. But since those feelings hadn’t been acted upon, the transition from fake-dating to real dating couldn’t happen as smoothly. Well, it could, if you two stopped acting like idiots and told each other how you felt. But the author wanted to get a couple more thousand words in, so it had to wait.

You’d gotten used to Sunghoon’s little requests at school, but you definitely hadn’t anticipated a phone call at past 11pm on a Wednesday night.

“Sunghoon? Why are you calling me so late?” you asked, groggy voice because of sleep. Since you woke up so early to get ready in the morning, you always went to bed around 9:30 to 10 p.m. Sunghoon was making you lose precious minutes of slumber.

“Late? It’s barely midnight, Y/N.” You groaned. “Whatever, put on some clothes and come outside! I’m waiting for you.”

“You’re what?” you whisper-screamed, suddenly feeling very awake.

“I’m waiting for you! Hurry up!”

As always, he hung up without waiting for your reply. You couldn’t really turn him down anyway; although you were somewhat obligated, you had stopped seeing it that way and started doing things for him out of your own volition.

Not wanting to get out of your pajamas, you just threw on a warm sweater, a scarf, some socks, and headed down the hallway on your tiptoes. Your parents weren’t the strictest out there, but you still didn’t wanna get caught sneaking out, and with a boy, at that. After putting on your shoes, you left your house, closing the door behind you as quietly as you could.

The late October night was a bit chilly, but you had wrapped up warm enough. Sunghoon was indeed waiting for you outside, wearing a denim jacket over his gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants.

God, he looked good.

“Finally! Took you long enough.”

“Quit it, Sunghoon. Just tell me why you wanted to see me.”

“There’s a place I wanna show you. Come on,” he said, taking you by the hand. You felt tingles in your palm and fingers wherever his hand touched yours. How could something feel so natural yet make your heart race so at the same time?

“Are we walking there?” you asked.

“Yep, it’s not too far. We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Those five minutes felt like five seconds walking with Sunghoon. You chatted and joked around the whole way, not letting go of each other’s hand. You hadn’t even noticed you had reached your destination until he stopped walking.

“Here we are,” he said, facing the building, which made you turn in the direction he was looking.

“The ice rink? What are we doing here?” you asked, confused. It was 11:30 pm; surely, the rink would be closed.

“You’ll see!” he said, heading towards the entrance. To your surprise, he pulled out a key from his pockets and opened the doors.

“What? Sunghoon! How do you have a key to the ice rink?”

“I’m chummy with the janitor. I just need to let him know when I’ll be coming and he doesn’t tell anyone,” he replied, an easy smile on his face, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He led you first to the shoe rack, helping you find skates your size, and then to the benches next to the rink’s entrance. He knelt in front of you and helped you put on your shoes, doing the laces for you.

He looked up at you, a glint in his eyes. “I’ve never taken anyone here, Y/N. I know your secret, so I thought I’d show you mine.”

You didn’t know what to say, surprised at the sudden confession, so you just looked at him curiously as he took ice skates from his backpack and laced them up.

He stood up, turned to you and said, “Ready?”

You followed him to the doors leading to the ice. He stepped inside without a trace of hesitation, but you were much more doubtful about your ability to stand on the ice without falling instantly. He turned around and saw you looking helpless. He took your hand in his, helping you step onto the rink.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. As long as I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

“Don’t let go of my hand, then,” you said pointedly.

Too focused on not slipping, you didn’t see his smile. “I wasn’t planning to.”

He helped you get your footing, skating backwards in front of you and holding both of your hands. After a few minutes on the ice, you got brave enough to skate on your own, and you miraculously managed to stay on your feet. However, after a while, your bravery turned to hubris, and you dared attempt a spin, resulting in you miserably falling on the ice, butt first. Sunghoon was worried for a second until he saw you laughing uncontrollably. You looked at him, wide-eyed, and said, “This is so much fun, Hoon.” You were so exhilarated that you hadn’t noticed the nickname slipping from your lips but the boy’s cheeks and ears turned redder than the bruise you had surely just earned yourself. Thankfully, if you commented on it, he could just blame it on the cold.

He helped you up, and you skated on as if nothing had happened. This went on for another thirty minutes, you skating hand in hand and occasionally falling together (but most of the time, just you falling on your own). Sunghoon had been so nervous before bringing you here; he was scared you’d think his hobby was unmanly or lame, as he’d been made to feel. But seeing you have the time of your life, all his worries dissipated. This place was like a second home to him, and bringing someone into your home was always nerve-wracking, but he thought you fit perfectly in it.

When you told him you were getting tired and wanted to sit for a while, you skated back together to the benches and he gave you some water from his bag. You sat in silence for a while, waiting for your breathing to come back to a normal pace.

You broke the silence first. “So, why’d you take me here? Not that I’m complaining.”

He hesitated a second before speaking. "I used to come here all the time as a kid.” He didn’t look at you when he answered, keeping his gaze on his hands. “My mom would take me. She left us for another man the summer before middle school started. She left me alone with my asshole father.”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting such a confession. You placed your hand on his back for comfort and said, “I’m sorry, Sunghoon.”

He quickly glanced at you, a half-smile on his face. “Don’t be. Anyways, he had to somewhat start taking care of me now that my mom wasn’t there to do it.” He chuckled darkly. “I guess his idea of taking care of his son was forbidding him from doing the one thing he loved. He thought it was a stupid sport for a boy. He stopped all of my lessons and made me sign up for soccer, even though I hadn’t ever said I wanted to do that. I still came here from time to time, but I didn’t wanna risk getting caught. God knows what he’d have done if he saw me here.”

You weren’t sure what to say. You felt as if no words would be enough to express how his story made you feel. “I- it’s awful, what he did to you. No parent should ever make their child feel as though their passion isn’t worth it. If it’s any comfort, even though you were mostly helping me, I thought you looked ten times better on that rink than scoring any goal. And that’s saying something.”

He finally looked at you and grinned. “Thanks, Y/N.” He seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, and then continued: “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and I think that’s why it’s hard for me to open up to people and make lots of friends. I only trust Jake because I’ve known him forever and I can’t really get rid of him now,” he said with a chuckle, “and Jay, well, Jake took to him instantly in middle school so I guess I didn’t have a choice there either, and he’s not so bad anyway. The more people I let in, the more likely I am to get hurt. It’s much easier pretending I don’t wanna have anything to do with anyone than try.

“I guess it’s also why I talked to you on that day. Sure, I ended up thinking you could help me with all those girls. But at first, when I saw someone like you, who looks like they have it all together, who’s actually the opposite in real life - no offense - it reminded me of myself. And I thought, maybe she’d understand. Which is why it was so easy to be myself around you.”

You took his hand in yours and pressed it slightly. “I’m glad you were.” You didn’t feel the need to say anything else, hoping it was enough.

“Now, your turn. What made you the person you are today?” he asked with a grin, trying to approach lightheartedly this heavy subject, which you appreciated.

“It’s all about making people think you’re someone else, isn’t it? Because, depending on who you are, they’ll treat you differently. I found that out as a kid, because I, too, have a tragic childhood backstory.” He gasped jokingly.

“It’s not as bad as yours, so sorry about that. Back in primary school, I already had this… attitude that I have today. I had quite the ego, and I didn’t want anyone doing better than me at school. I didn’t care about how I looked, if I was the prettiest girl in class or had the cutest shoes. I was the smarty-pants of the class, basically, and a lot of the kids teased me for that. But I also didn’t let myself get trampled over, and fought back, quite aggressively at that, so I was somehow the nerd and the troublemaker at the same time. I didn’t have the best reputation, but I did have a friend. Jay. Or Jongseong, at the time, before he got too cool for his real name,” you joked. “The thing is, I didn’t see him as a friend. Sure, I was only eight or nine, but I really liked him. And the day I was planning on confessing, I saw him hold hands with the prettiest girl in our class. So I never told him, and then he left for the US a few months later.

“During the time he was gone, I had a complete makeover and actually started caring about my appearance, especially when middle school started. So now I had academic validation from teachers, which I had craved since forever, and both female and male validation from all the girls telling me how pretty I was and all the guys liking me. The people who were in my primary school and went to the same middle school told them how I used to be, but nobody believed them, and if they did, they didn’t care, so everybody just gradually forgot about it. And I just got addicted to the validation, which is why I always studied harder and tried to be prettier, even when it turned into a complete lie. I thought that if I could make everyone believe I was perfect, then it didn’t matter what I was like in real life, so at home, I just let myself completely go. And even now that I’m aware of all of this, I still can’t stop.”

Sunghoon looked at you like you had just slapped him. “So, you used to have a crush on Jay?”

You looked at him in exasperation. “Seriously, Hoon? That’s what you get from everything I just told you?”

He smiled shyly. “Sorry. Thank you for telling me.” You sat there in comfortable silence for another few minutes, still hand in hand. Then, Sunghoon got up, grin on his face.

“Wanna see something cool?” You nodded at him, returning his grin. He headed back inside the rink.

You thought he was gonna show off by doing some fancy trick. But he started gliding on the ice, and you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He took long strides that looked as natural to him as walking. He spinned one, two, three times, and continued skating as though it was nothing. You were completely mesmerized. You already thought he was out-of-this-world beautiful, but his beauty was brought to another level when he skated. His elegant moves rendered you breathless. When he skated back towards you, you were looking at him with only awe and admiration in your eyes.

After what he’d told you and what he’d just shown you, you couldn't help but get a little emotional. You engulfed him in a hug as soon as he’d stepped out of the rink, your arms around his neck and his naturally coming to your waist. Your hands came up to his cheeks as you leaned back to properly look at him.

“That was- wow. That was amazing, Sunghoon. Thank you for showing me.” You could see the gratefulness in his eyes. There was something else there, and whatever it was, you knew you were looking back at him with as much of it. It was only you two in the building, but it might as well have been the two of you in the whole world.

All too similarly as in your room, his gaze went from your eyes to your lips, and you couldn’t help but mirror that. This was the perfect moment. You inched your face closer, letting him close the gap between you. Your lips touched and it was as if everything fell into place. The kiss was shy at first, neither of you sure what to do, your mouths moving at a slow but steady pace. But as your hands traveled from his cheeks, to his jaw and down to his neck, and you felt him sigh in the kiss, something unclicked in you, making you want more. You deepened the kiss, and he returned it with just as much force. Your right hand came to grab at the nape of his hair and his hands gripped your waist tighter. After minutes or hours, you broke the kiss in need of some air. Your eyes met again and you smiled at him, relieved it had finally happened.

You thought he’d have a similar reaction, but he suddenly looked panicked. Realization hit him like a truck. He liked you. Far too much. And even if the kiss and these past weeks told him you might like him back, it scared him. He’d unlocked his heart for you but couldn’t let you keep the key. Otherwise, he’d let you open it more and more and more until there he was completely bare in front of you, and you decided you didn’t like what you’d found and left him. Just like his mom did. Just like everyone eventually does. Just like his dad never even tried.

He took a step back. His panic was rubbing off on you. You called out his name, but he quickly got his bag and said, “Sorry, Y/N, I have to go. I’ll um- I’ll see you.” He took a few steps, turned around, and said, “I think you should take the bus tomorrow morning. Sorry.”

He started walking away. A few steps before he’d be out of your view, he turned back around. He hated the look on your face, how sad, confused and helpless it was all at once. Above all, he hated that he was the reason behind it. But he told himself it was better to leave you now than be left in a few months when you got bored of him, and started walking again without another word.

—

You walked home alone. It was a dark November night, and you were shivering from the cold and from sadness. Try as hard as you might, you couldn’t figure out why Sunghoon had reacted like that. The past month had gone so well, you were only getting closer and more comfortable with each other. The only logical conclusion you could come to was that kissing you had made him realize he didn’t like you. Thankfully, you didn’t live too far from the ice rink and you got home in five minutes. Lost in your thoughts, you couldn’t even be bothered to be quiet closing the front door and walking to your room, and you woke Sunoo up.

At first, he looked like he was about to scold you for making so much noise; but upon seeing your disheveled state, he started worrying.

“Y/N? What’s wrong, why are you only coming home now? Where were you?”

You couldn’t hold it in any longer. You fell in your brother’s arms and started crying your heart out.

He held you for a little while, but not wanting to wake the others up by staying in the hallway, he said, “Come on, let’s get you in your room. You’re freezing.”

He left for a few minutes and came back with two cups of tea in his hands. He joined you on your bed. You had calmed down a bit and took a sip of the tea, already feeling warmer.

“So, tell me everything.”

And you did. Not just about what had happened at the ice rink, but everything before that: how yours and Sunghoon’s relationship was fake, which you hadn’t even told your siblings, but that it hadn’t kept you from falling for him, and how you really thought he felt the same way. When you got to the part where you told each other about your stories, Sunoo grabbed your arm in surprise, and said, “I can’t believe you told someone about that. Good for you, big sis.”

You sat in silence after a few minutes when you’d finished telling him everything, you, still reflecting on your evening, and him, trying to think of something good to say. He took a deep breath, and started: “You know, this might be completely useless, but I feel like there’s no point trying to figure out why he did that. We’re not mind readers, and assuming things will just go wrong. I think the best thing to do is just ask him tomorrow, or whenever you’re ready to face him, really.”

You looked at your brother fondly. “How can you be so stupid sometimes, yet so wise right now?”

Sunoo and you talked for another minute, but when you yawned for a good seven straight seconds, you both agreed it was time for bed. Before you fell asleep, you told yourself that tomorrow morning, you’d find Sunghoon and make him be clear with you. You at least deserved that.

—

Heeseung and Sumin were clearly surprised to see you the next morning in the bus, but you told them you didn’t want to talk about it and they didn’t push, although it very obviously had something to do with Sunghoon. As you rode the bus and psyched yourself for your conversation with him, you had no idea he was currently in the midst of a heated argument with Jay. The latter pushed him with force, making Sunghoon’s back hit the classroom wall behind him.

“What the fuck did you just say about Y/N?” Jay asked, venom in his voice and fury in his eyes.

Despite the pain, Sunghoon smirked, wanting to rile up his friend even more. “I said, Y/N’s just as stupid as all the other girls. She probably thinks she’s so much better than everybody, but in the end it was so easy making her fall for me. It was almost boring, really, how easy she was.”

Jay pushed him again. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that.”

“Aw, little Jay is getting upset over his little Y/N? You sad that the girl you like actually likes an asshole like me?”

Jay hadn’t had many reasons to get angry in his life. This was making him discover another side of himself; he didn’t know he could get this angry. He didn’t know rage could fill up his veins like that and make him want to destroy absolutely everything around him, but above all, the person in front of him who’d he considered a friend all these years. On the verge of losing control, he reared up his fist, before Sunghoon said:

“You know what’s even sadder? She used to like you, too.”

His arm dropped. “What?”

“Yeah, in primary school. Didn’t you think it was weird how different she was before and after you left? Her little heartbreak made her change everything about herself just so that people would like her. And now all she can do is lie to everyone. I pity her, really. And to think that she thought I liked her. What an idiot.”

That was the last straw. Jay punched Sunghoon square in the nose, making him stumble back a few steps until he hit the wall again. He held onto his bloody, and possibly broken, nose and looked Jay straight in the eyes, still smirking. Thinking his job was done (but not sure what the job was in the first place), he walked away, heading to the nurses’ station. The scene had gathered quite an audience outside. It was less than ten minutes to the first bell, so already quite a few students were there, but no one had dared to venture inside. Jake, arriving too late to prevent any damage, looked wide-eyed back and forth between Sunghoon walking out and Jay standing inside, fists clenched by his side and panting from anger.

Sunghoon barely spared him or anyone a glance as he left the room. What he did notice though, were a crumpled tuna-mayo sandwich and a banana milk on the floor, looking as though someone had dropped them.

What had he done?

—

You had already run back to your friends and were currently crying for the second time in twelve hours in Sumin’s arms. It was the first time ever you cried at school, and probably also in front of your friends, spare Sumin, so it was a curious sight to most; she took you to another room for privacy.

There, you practically told her everything you had told Sunoo the night before, including the fake dating.

“Wait… so, you and Sunghoon weren’t actually dating?”

You nodded, embarrassed by your lie.

“I- Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N? How could you fool everyone like that?”

You looked up in surprise at your friend’s harsh words. You probably deserved them, but you weren’t used to hearing her speak in such a way, nor to the cold stare she was peering down at you with.

“I don’t know… I’m really sorry…” you mumbled, ashamed.

She scoffed. “You should be. I just- I just don’t understand how you can already be living such a lie, and still add onto it. It makes me wonder how I’m still friends with you.” The bell rang right at that moment, and she got up, saying, “Let’s go to class. You wouldn’t wanna be late.”

You followed her, but you felt sick to your stomach. Usually, you could always hide your discomfort or sadness, no matter how bad your period cramps were or how serious an argument with your parents had gotten. But this time, it was too much, and fifteen minutes into the class, you asked the teacher to go to the nurse. Not used to you needing to leave class and trusting that it was for a legitimate reason, your teacher let you off and you quickly packed your bag and left.

When you got to the nurse, you sat down in front of her and said you weren’t feeling well and wanted to go home. For the same reasons as your teacher, she said she’d let you but needed to ask you a few questions before about your general well-being. You answered them quickly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible and just go home.

When you finally were able to leave, you only took a few steps out of the nurse’s office before someone grabbed your wrist, making you turn around. Sunghoon, who was resting in the room next door, had heard your voice and gotten up as soon as he’d heard you leave. His nose was covered in bandages and his eye had started swelling and turning blue, and you mentally thanked Jay. You ripped your arm out of his grip and continued to walk away without a word. You were too tired to argue.

“Y/N, please, hear me out.”

This made you stop in your tracks, but you didn’t turn around. “Hear you out? I’ve already heard enough, Sunghoon. No need to explain, you made it very clear what you think of me.”

You started walking again but he doubled you and blocked your path in the narrow hallway.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, if you’d just give me a minute-”

“I don’t care that you’re sorry, Sunghoon! Sorry doesn’t cut it. I trusted you. Actually trusted you. You out of all people should know how hard it is to do that. Or was that a lie too?” Seeing him in front of you, your sadness retreated to the back of your heart and you were left with only anger.

“It wasn’t, I prom-”

“That doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” You pushed past him and walked on. And this time, he let you go, even though the only thing you wanted him to do was make you stay. You so desperately wanted to hear him out and forgive him, but you knew you couldn’t do that. You had too much dignity, and it would only end up hurting you even further.

So you didn’t shed a tear the whole way home. When you finally got to your bed, you didn’t have the energy to start crying. You fell asleep, tears quietly rolling down your face.

—

You slept the whole day, waking up to a soft knock on your bedroom door. It was your mom, telling you Jay was here to see you. Everyone had been surprised to see you already at home when they came back from work or school, but they knew better than to wake you up.

“I’m surprised, you know. He’s gotten so handsome.”

You rolled your eyes at her. “Just tell him that I’m not feeling well and he should go home, please.”

“Oh, I’ve already tried to, honey. The boy is adamant on seeing you.”

You sighed. “Fine. Can you bring him here, then?”

A few seconds later, you heard another knock, and Jay opened the door just enough to peek his head through, asking if he could come in.

“Well, you’re already here, so might as well.”

You sat up and gestured for him to sit down on your bed.

He looked around, taking in the messiness of his surroundings. “You know, I thought your room would be much more… organized.”

“Didn’t Sunghoon tell you? I’m a big, fat liar who hides the truth from everyone,” you said sarcastically.

“About that�� did you hear everything he said?” You hummed in response. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that, Y/N. I don’t know what happened to him. He’d never said anything like that about you, and then, all of a sudden… What an asshole. I can’t believe he was my friend.”

“Was? You shouldn’t end your friendship over me, Jay.”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t be friends with a guy who talks about anyone like that, let alone you.” After a few minutes of silence, he asked, “Did um- did anything happen, for him to say those things?”

You sighed deeply. “I’ve already told this story twice in the past few days, so I’ll give you the short version, but basically, we were fake dating, and I started really liking him, and I thought he did too, until we kissed, and he left me completely stranded, and then the next day I hear him say all those things.”

Silence again. You suddenly remembered something Sunghoon had said that you had completely put to the side: Jay likes you. At least, according to Sunghoon. You didn’t know if it was true, but judging by his disappointed face, it looked like it. Seemed like all of your friendships were going to hell.

“Oh,” he simply said.

“Yeah…” you murmured back.

“Well,” he turned to you, “that just confirms to me that he’s an asshole. Cause no guy in his right mind would turn you down, Y/N. I know I wouldn’t.”

He looked straight at you as he said that. Yep. Jay liked you. It was a nice feeling, but it was also about ten years too late.

“Do you- do you know what I’m trying to say, Y/N?” he asked, gulping.

You hesitated for a second before saying, ”I think I do, Jay. I have to say, your timing isn’t great.”

He chuckled a bit lifelessly. “Yeah, I guess right now isn’t the best time to say this.”

“I also meant, you know what Sunghoon said, earlier? That I liked you before you left for the US? That was true.”

He looked at you, mouth agape. “Oh, was it…” His head hung down in defeat. “I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot. I feel like it’s my fault that Sunghoon hurt you like this. If only I’d been just a bit earlier…”

“None of this is your fault, Jay. Please don’t think that. It’s mine for thinking Sunghoon could actually like me back.”

Jay took a deep breath. “God, as much as it hurts me to say, Y/N, I think he did. Or does, actually.” You furrowed your brows at him. “Sunghoon, he has this thing where he goes into retreat mode as soon as he gets too close, too personal. It’s a stupid defense mechanism, and when he realizes he’s let you in a bit too far, he snaps everything closed and hurts you before you can hurt him. At least, that’s how he sees it, I guess. He’s done it to Jake and me a couple times, and it takes some getting used to, but he stops after a while. When he knows for sure that you won’t hurt him.”

You didn’t know what to do with this information, so you just stayed quiet, which Jay took as a sign to go on.

“I’m not saying forgive him. Believe me, if I could smack him into space and never let him see you again, I would. But I think maybe, just maybe, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to, hear him out.”

You smiled at him. “You’re a good friend, Jay. And I don’t mean just to me but to Sunghoon as well. I hope you know that.”

Jay tried to ignore the pinch in his heart at the word ‘friend’ and smiled back.

“Oh, there’s another thing I needed to show you.” His tone was suddenly much more apprehensive, and he looked both sorry and scared to say whatever he was about to say.

He pulled out his phone and searched the thing in question. Before showing you anything, he warned, “Nobody knows who did this. It was sent out to the whole school on a library computer-”

Expecting the worst, you snatched Jay’s phone from his hands. And there they were. Pictures of you from your primary school years, recent pictures of you in your comfortable clothes, at home or in close proximity to your house. Sent out to the whole school, as Jay had said. You were horror-struck. You could feel all the years you had spent perfecting your image and maintaining it crumbling around you as though they were paper. Charismatic smiles and trendy accessories had been your brick and mortar, but a sledgehammer had hit them, destroying your foundations further with each swing.

And that sledgehammer had a name: Bae Sumin. You’d figured it out in an instant. You’d been friends your whole life, she was the only one apart from your family to know about your true face; only she would have access to such photos. You knew it wasn’t Sunghoon because the pictures he had taken that day weren’t there.

If what had happened with Sunghoon had made a crack in your heart, then this had shattered it into a million pieces. The person who you’d trusted the most, who you’d thought would never do anything to hurt you, had done the worst thing anybody could do to you.

“Y/N- are you okay?” Jay asked tentatively. You had forgotten he was there.

“Um, yeah, yeah- I think I just need to be alone for now, if that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying a while.”

“Sorry, Jay, but I’m sure.”

He looked at you for a few seconds. He’d never felt more distance between you two, not even when you had been oceans apart. “Alright. Call me if you need anything. I mean it.”

You smiled a tiny, tiny smile in response and he left your room. On his way out, your mom hugged him, saying it was nice to see him again and that he was welcome anytime, and he thanked her.

As he walked home, he couldn’t help but bitterly laugh to himself. Even when he confessed, he hadn’t been able to say the words he’d wanted to tell you this whole time: I love you.

—

You didn’t go to school for the rest of the week, the only stain on your perfect attendance record. All of your friends had tried to reach you, asking if you were okay, and you replied in a few small messages, telling them you’d be back when you could. Other people had contacted you, asking if those pictures were real. You obsessed over your school’s gossip Instagram account: the past few days, all the posts had been dedicated to your pictures and Sunghoon’s and Jay’s fight. You had ten missed calls from Sunghoon and seventeen from Sumin. You ignored each and everyone of them, only giving Jay, Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung the time of day.

On Sunday morning you woke up, already dreading going to school the next day. You could already picture the nasty stares and whispers you’d get in the hallways. You thought about facing Sumin and Sunghoon again, and you thought the worst thing possible would be to have to do it at school. So you decided to wait until they called you again, as you knew they would, and finally picked up their call.

Sumin contacted you first, at eleven in the morning. You agreed to have her come over to your house to talk. When she appeared at your front door, you realized you weren’t sad, angry, or disappointed; you were just confused. You didn’t understand why she’d done it. Looking at her face, you couldn’t imagine her sitting down at that computer and sending out those pictures, writing the comment This is what Kim Y/N is like in real life.

You let her in and walked to your room, your siblings’ eyes burning holes into her soul the whole time. You sat down on your bed, sighed, and said, “Go ahead.”

“Thank you for letting me come here and explain myself. I don’t know what took over me, Y/N. Well actually, I guess I do. Jealousy, as stupid as it sounds.” She chuckled at herself. “I’ve always tried to hide it, but I’ve always been a bit jealous of you, Y/N. You’re the prettiest girl, the smartest, the nicest, and I’m just the best friend. That’s all anyone knows me as. Everybody loves you, yet I know it’s all a facade. And I’m not saying that to be mean, because I know you’re an amazing person even without all the glamor. And when I saw you with Sunghoon, I mean, you saw how I was. I didn't fight with my parents. I was so, so jealous. You hadn’t shown interest in any guy since Choi Soobin and all of a sudden you were dating Park freaking Sunghoon, and he knew about your quote-on-quote ‘real’ face, so I couldn’t even comfort myself that he didn’t know who you really were.”

“Wait- why would you be jealous of Sunghoon and me?”

She took a deep breath. “You remember, freshman year, when I confessed to him and he turned me down?”

“Yeah, but I thought that was in the past.”

“Do you also remember that guy I told you about later on, who I’d gotten really close with but completely shut me off when I thought we were about to start dating?”

Something clicked, but you didn’t want to face it. “Yeah…”

“Well, surprise surprise, they were the same person. Ha. I got mad at you for lying to me, but I did the same thing.”

“Sumin… Why did you never tell me?”

“I’m not sure. When we were in that talking stage, I could’ve bragged about it to anyone, you know, that Park Sunghoon was actually being nice to me, but I didn’t. I wanted to keep him my little secret. And then I confessed, and we all know how that ended.” A beat passes as she takes a deep breath, shaking the bad memory away. “I am over it, it was more than three years ago. Maybe there was a nice part of me that thought he had changed, because you seemed happy with him, and I didn’t want to ruin that. But maybe there was another part that hoped he might hurt you like he did me. And that’s such a shitty thing to do, I know. I should’ve told you when I saw you get involved with him. I can’t believe after all these years, he did the exact same thing to you that he did to me. What an asshole.”

You were staring at the wall in front of you, feeling empty. Why did everything have to happen at the same time? You were just drained of any willpower.

“This doesn’t explain the pictures,” you said plainly.

“Right. When you told me you were fake dating, I guess something snapped in me. I couldn’t believe it was another lie, I thought we had gone past the stage where you hid things from me. So that, plus jealousy, I just went a bit crazy, I think. I really wasn’t thinking, Y/N, and I promise you with all my heart that if I could go back and undo everything, I would. I’m so, so, so sorry. I regretted it as soon as I hit post.”

You looked at your friend and knew she was telling the truth. You believed her, and yet you couldn’t quite look past it.

“I know you are, Minie. It’s just… what am I gonna do now at school? Everybody must hate me.”

“I won’t lie, some people haven’t been saying the nicest things, especially Park’s fangirls. But God, Y/N, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but who cares? They’ll talk about it for a week, two at most. Your life at school won’t be the same, but you’ll still have all of us. I’ve talked to Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung, and they’re not the tiniest bit mad at you. They’re just worried to death. A bit confused too, but mostly worried. And you know what? Even Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul, who I’ve literally never talked to before, came to ask me how you were. Jay and Sunghoon are barely on talking terms but they always team up when it comes to practically verbally assaulting anyone they overhear talking behind your back. Jake has to hold them back sometimes but he always glares at those people too. You don’t wanna see Jake Sim glare, I promise you. It’s so scary,” she says in a confessional tone, visibly shuddering just at the thought of angel-faced Jake looking angry, and you can’t help the small chuckle that escapes your lips.

Her face softens as she places a warm palm over your hand. “We all love you and care for you so much, so screw literally every single other person in that school. They don’t matter.”

There was something refreshing about Sumin’s words. The idea that you could live your life without worrying about other people had always been in the back of your head, but you always told yourself you were in too deep to go back. Now that you had been forced to, you understood why you felt so empty: the immense weight of having to keep up a persona, had been lifted off your shoulders. You would only have to carry yourself, and not a second person, which made you feel weightless. You’d just have to get used to it and come to enjoy that feeling.

You took your friend’s hands in yours. “I want to forgive you, I promise I do. And I will. I just don’t know if I can do that right away. I’ll need some getting used to this new life.”

“I completely understand, Y/N.”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you around anymore. And you know what, I’m sure one day I’ll look back at this moment and thank you.”

—

Sumin left a few hours later and you were now waiting for Sunghoon to call you. You waited and waited, until your phone rang with a small ding: he wasn’t calling you, but had sent you a message. A very, very long message. You were very tempted to reply with a I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened, but you thought it might not be the appropriate moment.

You opened the message, which had come after thirty unread texts, and started reading, slightly appalled by the lack of paragraphing.

Dear Y/N,

Is this how you start a long text? I would much rather be telling you this than writing it, but someone hasn’t been picking up my calls. Sorry. I probably shouldn’t be giving you much attitude right now. Where do I even start? The ice rink, I guess. Asshole move #1, obviously. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that. That kiss was really really good and I really really liked it. Because I really really like you. And I think I’ve known that for a while now, but the kiss confirmed it. And I was happy for a second, but then I panicked. There’s no other word for it, I panicked. I’ve never liked someone this much before and I was so scared. I still am. I’m terrified shitless. But I know that my fear is completely irrational, and that you’re literally the best person on Earth, which is why I’m writing this. I know it’s cliché to say my mom left me and now I think everybody will. And my first reaction to that is to hurt someone before they can hurt me, which is what I did. But as much as I wanna fight it, it’s always there at the back of my mind. You can even ask Sumin about it. Should I be saying that? I feel like I might as well. I was an asshole to her, and I’m so angry at myself that I did it again with you. I didn’t mean a single word of what I said about you to Jay. Not a single one. You’re not stupid, you’re the smartest and most amazing girl I know, and I never pretended I liked you, because I never had to. I think I just wanted Jay to punch me, really. I wanted him to run to you and make sure you were okay, because I was too scared to do that myself. But I regret doing that so much. I hope you know that. And bless Jay, he’s a real one. He told me to get my shit together and talk to you. I can tell he’s still mad at me but still wants to make things good between us. I was already trying to call you before he said that, but I probably would’ve said something stupid that would’ve made things worse. And I can’t afford that, Y/N, I really, really can’t. You get me like no one does and being with you is the most liberating thing ever, I’m never myself more than when I’m around you. You just bring out the best in me. Well, except for that thing I did. Which I promise I’ll never do again. I am so extremely sorry, and if you wanna hate me for the rest of your life, I completely get it. But I would also be very happy if you didn’t. I hope I’ll see you tomorrow at school. I really miss you.

Your Hoon

You wiped away the tears that had formed in your eyes and typed back:

You’re such an idiot, Park.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

—

The next day, as you imagined, was mostly hell. You’d decided not to dress up as usual: there was no point trying to look good after this, it would only make you seem more ridiculous. You put less makeup on, not bothering to hide your eye bags, and didn’t bling your outfit up with accessories or fancy shoes, opting for your worn-out Converse you’d had since your feet stopped growing. On the bus, where people usually ignored each other, you could already feel the gossip being told about you. You avoided people’s gaze like the plague and sat down next to Sumin. You laid your head on her shoulder and sighed.

“I already wanna go home.”

She laughed, “I know. We’ll be with you the whole day, so don’t worry.”

You spent the bus ride catching up on what had happened when you were gone (nothing much), and although there was some awkwardness there, it was nice being with your best friend. When Heeseung got on, he practically screamed your name and suffocated you by means of greeting.

“I’m so glad you’re back. You know, I think you look really cute in those pictures. All these people are just jealous they don’t look as good as you even when you don’t dress up.”

Sumin shot daggers with her eyes at him and he cringed, saying, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

You reassured him, saying that it was fine since it was all you were going to be hearing the next few days. “Might as well get used to it.”

It was somewhat easy to ignore the stares coming your way when you walked into school with Heeseung and Sumin flanked at your sides like bodyguards. When you reached your classroom, Jiung engulfed you in a hug and Sieun was almost crying. How the hell had you gotten such sweet friends?

In the hallways, some people tried to get reactions out of you by calling you out, yelling liar! or you can’t fool us anymore. You couldn’t ignore them as they were very much in your face. When at lunch, a table of girls next to you was very clearly talking about you in the nastiest way possible, you took your tray and were ready to get up and leave, but a very familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“You think it’s funny talking about someone like that?” Sunghoon was practically screaming at the girls. “You think you’re any better than her? I bet you do the exact same thing but are just glad someone else got called out for it.” You weren’t sure if that made you feel much better, but you appreciated the effort.

“As a matter of fact,” he continued as he pulled out a chair and got up on it, his voice getting louder, “I’ve got something I wanna say to everyone.”

Somebody whooped (probably Jake) and you tried to get Sunghoon to come down from the chair, but he just smiled his radiant smile at you and turned to look at the students in the cafeteria.

“All of you who judge Y/N are hypocrites. You wanna tell me you’re all as perfect at home as you are at school? That you never relax a little bit? Sure, she pushed it a bit far- (hey! you grunted in protest), but nobody shows who they truly are to everyone. We all judge each other in this stupid high school, so Y/N did what she had to do and protected herself. If anything, this should make you respect her even more. And it’s not like she did anything wrong to you. She didn’t use her popularity against anyone, so you better not use this against her.”

From the crowded tables in the cafeteria, somebody yelled “Nobody cares!”

Somebody, whose voice you thought you recognized as Jungwon’s, joined in: “Yeah, what is it about you seniors and thinking the whole school revolves around you? We still like Y/N!”

Sunghoon, taken aback, simply said, “Oh. Alright. Well, you better keep it that way then!” and got off his chair.

He turned to you, already a pleading look on his face and said “Y/N, I’m so sorry-”

But you cut him off right away. “I know, Sunghoon, I know. I think this proved it.”

“I really wanna make it up to you. So just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. Buy you a house, move to another country, you name it. I’ll do it.”

You chuckled at him. “You don’t need to go that far.” You looked down, then back at him. “I think I just want to pretend like nothing happened. Like it was all a huge, awful fever dream. Even if I can’t forgive and forget right away, I don’t think I want you out of my life while I figure it out.”

He let out the biggest sigh you’d ever heard. “My God, you don’t know how happy to hear that, Y/N. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for defending me just now. That was… definitely something.”

He smiled down at you. "I did my best. Too bad those sophomores ruined everything.”

You could feel eyes burning into your sides, so you turned your head a bit and noticed that your friends and the table of girls that had just been gossiping were staring at you, some of them teary-eyed. When they saw you notice them, they all turned back to each other and pretended that they were having some other conversation. You and Sunghoon chuckled, and you realized how much you had missed him.

Yes, Sunghoon and Sumin had hurt you, but you were a strong believer of second chances. Even if it was hard at first to stop thinking about Sunghoon’s voice when he had said those things or Sumin’s intentions when she posted the pictures, they’d made it up to you in any way they could and you’d reciprocated that by being completely honest. No more trying to look perfect all the time; you were human and were allowed to have low moments. Your grades even dropped by two points, because you’d started spending more time with your friends than with your textbooks. You’d spent whole Saturdays at the ice rink with your now real-boyfriend Sunghoon, and had invited the whole crew. Heeseung was surprisingly good at it. You had even caught your little sister Yeeun on a date with the cute Japanese boy she’d talked about.

As promised, Jay came once a week or every two weeks to have dinner with your family; Sunghoon always insisted on being present. The tension between them had turned into friendly competition, and you could tell the two friends were glad to have each other back.

You’d never felt so free. Your relationship with Sunghoon felt like uncharted territory and home at the same time; so daunting and exciting yet so comfortable and relaxing. You kept the PDA at a minimum at school, but when it was just the two of you, your whole body never failed to heat up, even in the cold of the ice rink. He had been nicknamed the ice prince, but he was so, so warm.

In the end, everybody found out. But you had Park Sunghoon by your side, so it was alright.

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#enhypen x reader #sunghoon x reader #enhypen fluff #sunghoon fluff #enhypen angst #sunghoon angst #enhypen scenarios #sunghoon scenarios

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earthtooz · 1 year ago

Note

…u mentioned rin. what do u think about unofficial bf rin seeing u in another guy’s jacket cs when u asked him for his he said he’s too cold to give it to u.

the itoshi rin writer within me coming alive for seven be like...

gn!reader who is the assistant manager for rin's team, pro!player itoshi rin, playful y/n, situationship between rin and reader, rin is jealous bc this is how i celebrate the end of an itoshi rin drought in the manga, unedited + apologies for bad writing

A hand slaps down on the table in front of you, the harsh sound of skin meeting wood softened only by a mere jersey. The sudden interruption rips you from the paperwork you had been assigned at the start of the day, ripped from the world of sporting brand deals and competition contracts by a certain grump you have the pleasure of dealing with.

“Put this on.” Itoshi Rin demands, cold voice rocky with conflict.

“What?” You ask, mind dazed and eyes sore from reading so many words.

“Put this on.” Rin seethes through his teeth, practically waving his jersey in your face.

“Why?”

“Because you need it.”

“Not anymore, I’m not. Isagi gave me his jacket.”

“I can see that. That’s why you should put. This. On.”

“Hey, you were the one that was cold!” You counter, capping your pen and pointing it at him. “Remember? You were like ‘why didn’t you bring your own, you idiot. Warm-ups haven’t started yet, so I can’t give it to you’.”

It irks him how you imitate him with a sneer that he swears he doesn’t have, or how you deadpan your tone to match his, but what irks him even more is the fact that you’re wearing Isagi’s jersey instead of his. Rin has half a mind to burn it instead of returning it to the dark-haired when he gets his hand on it.

“Just- just take it!” He demands, pushing his neatly-folded jersey even closer to you.

“Don’t want it anymore,” you resist, mischief gleaming in your eyes. “People are gonna get the wrong idea.”

“And that is?”

“That we’re romantically involved,” you tease and Rin swears he feels his eye twitch. Sometimes he asks himself why, that out of all people, you were the one to capture his heart. You’re playful, understanding, and maybe a little too cunning for his own good, but he can’t find it himself to want you to change, and that is when he knew love-dipped arrows had struck him through the heart.

Accepting love’s toxins is why Rin finds himself completely exasperated, staring you down; the physical manifestation of everything he adores and simultaneously drives him crazy. After months of denying his feelings for you, and this is what he gets in return?

“Why would those idiots get ‘the wrong idea’?” He asks, deciding to play into your hands.

“Being seen in public with each other is a big step, y'know, especially if I’m wearing your jersey.”

“What the- so why can you wear Isagi’s jersey?”

You tap your pen against the table at a metronomic pace. “Because Isagi and I are just friends!”

Itoshi Rin can feel a migraine materialising. “I don’t care anymore, just, put this on already.”

“Your teammates may begin to speculate.”

“They’ve seen us kiss, what is there to ‘speculate’?” the athlete asks.

“We’ve never held hands in front of them, though,” you contest. “Me wearing this is kind of like you asking me to be your partner so-”

“So put on the damn jersey!”

With a hidden smile, you finally accept his gift, holding onto the soft fabric with a delicate grip. After months of dancing around being an ‘official’ or ‘unofficial’ couple, triumph settles in your stomach when you pull the collar of his jersey over your head. The expensive smell of his cologne invades your senses, distracting you from the satisfied look in his teal gaze.

A hand finds yours and effortlessly pulls you out of your office chair to be almost chest-to-chest with Itoshi Rin. “Let’s go,” he murmurs, snatching Isagi’s jersey as he drags you to the pitch, never letting you stray one inch from him.

He wants his teammates to get the 'wrong' idea, after all.

wrong idea as in you are romantically evolved, you're welcome xx

#guys i don't know what this is icel #itoshi rin x reader #rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock x reader #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x you #itoshi x reader #itoshi rin drabble #blue lock

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hiiikiko · 2 months ago

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IF THATS THE CASE … would u write ellie x hikikomori reader

𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕖 𝕩 𝕙𝕚𝕜𝕚𝕜𝕠𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕚!𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

ellie w. x reader | tlou m.list

[a/n] AHHHH I LOVE THIS PROMPT SM !! (speakin as a former hikikomori <now forced to work a 9-5>) also im doin this heavily based off me bc my room is literally like the ones in the pics lolz n there’s not many other known moris that aren’t minors n i dont feel comfy roping them in 0__0 idk if this is good bc it was so hard to come up with anything lolz

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ as a hikikomori, you rarely ever left your apartment, too anxious to face the chaotic world outside but on this particular day, you were craving some strawberry shortcake from a nearby bakery; so you put on a brave face and stepped outside for the first time in awhile

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ on the way to the bakery, you passed a comic shop and decided to take a peak because it seemed to be empty, and the only worker looked too engrossed in their comic

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ the comic shop was very neat! they even had the exact comic you were looking for so you snatched it up and made your way to the register

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ as soon as you placed the comic on the counter, green eyes peaked over a spiderman comic which a very pretty auburnette was reading, your face was covered in a blush as she began to scan the book and make small talk, but unfortunately you were too shy to talk

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ for days after, she would pop into your mind, the way she looked at you over the comic made you smile

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ so, you made plans to come again the next day.. then the day after that.. then day after that.. then-

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ soon, you and ellie became aquatinted, she even knew your favourite series but you had yet to know anything about her

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ finally, one day you had the courage to ask her what her favourite series was, ellie leaned over the counter, a smirk on her face as she said “Ah, i’m a bit busy right now but.. why don’t i tell you later, hm?” your soul left your body when you saw she had written her number on a sticky note tucked into your comic (little did you know that she had written that weeks ago and finally worked up the courage to give it to the pretty girl with immaculate taste in comics)

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ soon, you and ellie were chatting everyday

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ you even got her into manga lol

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ even though you weren’t keen on sending photos, ellie would constantly send videos/photos of her at school, or work, out hiking, gym pics, and more (she also sends you haul videos of what she bought at the comic store and would tell you that she saved a comic for you)

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ BUT when you did work up the courage to send pics (usually leaving out full body pics or face pics) she would go completely crazy and bombard you with compliments, making you kick your feet and blush

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ you decide to invite ellie over to play a game, you clean up because now you finally have motivation, ellie looks almost out of place in your room that’s filled with pink things and little figurines, she doesn’t mind it, as a matter of fact she thinks it’s cute and she loves how many comfortable things you have, your whole room is like one big pillow

⋆. 𐙚 ˚the two of you have a great time, ellie ends up spending the night which you don’t mind, it’s been awhile since you’ve had company

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ the next morning, you wake up and can’t find ellie anywhere but when you walk into the kitchen you see a little box with a note on it that reads ‘had to go to work, picked up a cake for you <3’

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ there’s no official start to your relationship, instead ellie ends up staying over days at a time, buying you comics and games, taking you out on dates, so the two of you had somehow became a ‘thing’

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ellie even has a highlight full of pics of you (only if you’re comfy with it) and of your dates

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ when you finally open up to her about how you struggle with going outside and being around other people, she’ll try her best to understand

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ after you tell her, she’ll still plan outside dates but will also make sure the two of you have at home dates, mainly playing video games and watching movies

⋆. 𐙚 ˚she’ll also listen to whatever you’re struggling with

⋆. 𐙚 ˚she’ll accommodate you but she will NOT coddle you because she wants you to get better and treating you like a child won’t help, somedays she’ll drag you outside to go on a little walk or take you over to her place instead

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ she does get frustrated at times because she wants to show you off and take you out but it’s so fuckin frustratin how often you say no, during these times she’ll sometimes lash out or go for a walk but then apologize as soon as she gets back and try her best to communicate what’s going on

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ this does prompt you to try harder so when ellie does take you out, she’ll check up on you every couple of minutes just to make sure she’s not making you feel bad

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ she’ll encourage you to get a better sleep schedule and a healthier diet, even going as far to come over and cook for you or bring leftovers from whatever joel made

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ she’s very nervous to touch you, her hands practically hovering over you because she’s not sure if this is okay (even if you’re practically throwing yourself at her, she’ll still be nervous and awkward about it)

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ when she does realize you’re not a porcelain doll, she can’t get enough of you, she’s been so nervous to touch you for so long that when she realizes that she can, she goes feral, her hands roaming all over your body

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ she punches your stuffed animals when you’re not in the room

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ if ellie’s in a band, she’ll invite you to gigs and at first you’re scared and frequently decline but when you finally do show up, ellie puts on the best show she ever has just to impress you ♡

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ overall, she loves that your geek matches hers and she wants you to get better, so she’d try her best to help in whatever way she can

#ellie the last of us #ellie willams x reader #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie fanfic #ellie tlou #ellie x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams smut

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quirkle2 · 5 months ago

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i'm sad so im gonna talk about dimple in the anime world domination arc and how he makes me a little ill

besides the divine tree arc, bc that's obviously where he rly shines, i think the wd arc is where we see the most Genuine Dimple. we see him just earnestly helping out any way he can during this whole thing, doing his absolute best to keep mob alive and anybody the kid cares about to boot. and Yeah, he has a motive to help the kid bc he's trying to earn his trust to manipulate him, but he Knows mob trusts him already (see mogami arc). he doesn't have to keep this up. i dont think dimple even has any of that on his mind at the time.

there's a couple lines in this arc from dimple that feel like they come straight from his soul and i never stop thinking about them. i'll talk about The Scene in a minute but

when they meet up with reigen and the others in the hideout, dimple does not have to say "let him rest, i'll fill you in," but he does. when mob is unconscious and vulnerable dimple does not have to protect him, but he does. when mob is fighting minegishi dimple does not have to stay—hell, when mogami shows up, somebody that dimple seems very afraid of, he does not have to stay, but he does. and when mob goes up that tower to confront serizawa and toichiro, dimple accompanies him, not rly bc reigen asks him to, but bc he seemed like he was planning on it from the start with that little "i know i know" that sounds so halfheartedly bothered

he doesn't have to do really Anything that he does in wd arc, and yet he's there and helping, and while you can argue that a lot of it might've been done just to keep mob alive and dimple in his favor, i think the majority of it was instinctual and real

mogami arc seemed like a turning point for dimple and mob's relationship, bc mob truly and completely put his life and wellbeing into dimple's hands and dimple's hands alone. dimple cracks some joke abt his uglier intentions and mob simply stares and says "i'm sure it'll be fine," and dimple visibly does not know how to react to this. like reigen says later: this is the first time somebody has put so much trust in him. dimple has No Idea what to do w this, and the sheer kindness of it makes him hesitate to take advantage of the kid

the fact that dimple is able to possess mob at all during wd arc goes against what we've been told before about espers and their mental barriers, which (and i believe this is touched on in the manga w more explanation but i haven't read it) shows just how much trust mob has in dimple. his mental barriers are already off 24/7 for the guy. dimple could probably possess him whenever the fuck he wanted

Something changed in dimple's mind between mogami arc and wd arc, and that's further proven by a line of his in s3. it's been a while since i've watched this part so correct me if i'm wrong but i think dimple says smth about forgetting that his original goal had been to become god. that he lost sight of that somewhere along the way, and just stopped thinking about it. even during divine tree arc, toward the end, he says smth about "has being around the unmotived shigeo caused me to lose sight of my goals and ambitions?" at some point dimple just completely dropped that goal and started being a genuine friend w no ulterior motives. started embracing that trust he's been given, and not letting it go to waste

yes, dimple half-lied to calm him down after the fire, but he tells reigen that he has reason to believe what he said was true. and when reigen comments that mob would hate him if he Knew he lied, dimple's reaction is Genuine Remorse. that face is not one of "damn my evil schemes r falling apart. aw drat" or "ohmy god i'm going to be exorcised" that is the face of a guy who feels real and honest regret and guilt over even the Thought of his friend hating him. that is a guy who shrinks into himself at the idea of mob not calling him a friend anymore

and so.when mob runs to his parents' room and That Scene happens, dimple's first and genuine response is to scream at mob to look away, shigeo! look away! protecting the kid, protecting his innocence, bc no kid should have to look at something so horrible, and dimple Cares about this kid. he doesn't know when he started caring, but he cares now, and in a dire situation like this, dimple's knee-jerk reaction is to comfort and protect this boy, not take advantage of him. do u understand how important this scene is to me.

this rly has nothing to do w the story itself but i am an English Dub Enjoyer and dimple's va is Outstanding, especially when he voices that look away, shigeo! look away! it sounds so panicked, so desperate—there's rly nothing in the rest of the show that sounds quite like it bc it's so horribly despairing and pleading. he just wants shigeo to look away, to not stare at his family's burning faces. it's a devastatingly raw command that burns just like the walls do. that line and its delivery is so haunting to me

#qktalks #mp100 ekubo #mp100 dimple

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birdbrainedboy · 7 months ago

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I’m obsessed with this show and fear a hyperfixation anyways here are my thoughts on every character in the show

Edwin Paine: forever my favorite, even back before the show when I read the comics! I think it’s funny that basically every man in the show wants him? I’m intrigued by his character arc throughout the story regarding his sexuality as despite dying in 1916, he seems to have had time to slowly become more accepting of gay people (I’m guessing in part due to Charles, who is pansexual), to the point where there’s only mild internalized homophobia if at all, which just exhibits itself in him denying any possible feelings for Monty. I love how face-value and logical he is while still being a sweetheart

Charles Rowland: he has a pan flag pin on his jacket which confuses me bc can ghosts only wear clothes they would’ve worn when they were alive, or how do ghost clothes work? Because he died in 1989 and I’m near positive he didn’t wear that pin back there. Anyways I do love him but I wonder about some design choices, like the one earring (not sure why it just kinda annoys me). That was more a rant abt his design than his character, which I have nothing notable to say abt since I LOVE HIM he’s so real

Crystal Palace: sometimes she was a bit annoying the way she was trying way too hard to pry into everyone’s lives, but honestly that was just momentary annoyance since nothing could make me hate her. I love how her past was slowly revealed (as someone who already knew it from the comics) and how she came to terms with the person she used to be vs the person she is now. She’s so cool!

David the demon: honestly kind of caught me off guard at first bc the person I’m dating is named David but I actually enjoyed his character. LOVED when Crystal dealt with him in the end. He was very interesting

Niko Sasaki: I love Niko, but I have some problems with her character. First of all, I feel like ditsy anime-loving cutesy Asian girl with dyed hair is a weirdly common trope? But whatever my main issue is that it feels like characters who normalize the fetishization of gay men are so common. Like if Niko had been a guy obsessed with lesbian manga evb would be weirded out, so why is it different? If we ignore all of this tho I absolutely adore her and I’m actually praying she’s in the next season bc she was one of my favorites (esp her relationship w Edwin)

Jenny: She is so hot and cool and funny I’m in love with her

Esther: oh my god words cannot come close to describing how much I love her character. She felt powerless and weak in the past and now she’s become obsessed with making sure nobody has that power over her ever again. She was so fun and I loved her attitude! I’m sure she won’t show up next season, as she was the main antagonist of s1, and while I love her, I kind of hope she doesn’t since I think her arc was finished.

Monty: His personality was like 2020 “soft boy” who acts nice and dumb but is lowkey a manipulator. So obviously this kind of made me like ☠️ bc why is he acting like that… but I still love him to bits because he’s just a crow guys he didn’t ask to be human,, Anyways yeah his personality annoys me but also I love him so much so? It’s confusing. ITS COMPLICATED. I will cry if he’s not in s2

Kingham and Litty: I honestly thought they were annoying but I can’t lie they were so fucking funny. Every time they were on screen I laughed.

Cat King: oh my god. He is so camp. I love him. There’s honestly not much to say he is simply iconic. Love how he’s afraid to be alone so chases after other people, he’s so real AGHH I love him

Night Nurse: Ruth Connell the woman you are… 😍 she reminds me of Muriel from Good Omens, in a way, and I love her! I really hope we get to see more of her in relation to the guy in the fish, and see her get to better understand human emotions and why they choose to cling onto the human world rather than pass on!

#dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #crystal palace surname von hoverkraft #crystal palace #niko sasaki #david the demon #neil gaiman #esther #monty crow #cat king #night nurse #good omens

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exo-raskreia · 2 months ago

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ok so i wanted to share my experience with bleach to you bc i just love that anime and it feels nice to do so after i read your blog haha (i like the way you think <3)

also it is kind of funny now that i think about it

i watched bleach for the first time when i was 14, i remember it was the first time i felt like so good with an anime, like when you say "damn this is what i was looking for"

i remember that at that age i didn't care that much about romance, i just liked to see ichigo fighting and i just hyped everytime i saw his inner hollow

EITHER WAY

i always knew/thought at that time that ichigo was in love with rukia, and yes i always knew/thought they were end game LIKE FR it was something obvious

years after that idk how but i got to know that ichigo ended up with inoue and i couldn't fucking believe it, i swear it was a shock at first but then again i didn't even care about it eventually bc i just cared about ichigo

years later i re-watched the anime as an adult and i just felt the same thing, that ichigo was so in love with rukia it fucking hurt, you know? and until that time i never read the manga, so i decided to do it (also i did it to see if ichihime's fans were right about everything they said, that in the manga you could see how ichigo "cared" about inoue)

AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I REGRET THAT BECAUSE I JUST FELT AWFUL

IT WAS THE FIRST FUCKING TIME I CARED ABOUT THE ROMANCE IN BLEACH

i mean i saw/felt even more the love ichigo had for rukia, and also rukia for ichigo. it was like they were so fucking in love they thought they had it well hidden but no, you just had to see their fucking eyes when they looked at each other and you would realize

i tried with all my fucking willingness to interpret the parts ichihime'a fans talked about so much, dude i felt uncomfortable, they were just moments were you could see inoue simping about him and ichigo didn't even notice her

I WAS LIKE ??? WHAT IS THIS PPL TALKING ABOUT?

and i really tried to like ichihime bc i love ichigo, he's like my fucking entire adolescence and i just wanted to see him happy

i just can't help but fucking feel he's the most unhappy person, he just loved to be a sould reaper and loved to be around rukia, in the end he didn't get anything of that and i ended up feeling fucking disappointed

so it is funny for me how as a teenager something i thought as an adult was going to change, in the end didn't, it just got confirmed

i just can't understand what was kubo thinking about when he gave us that end for ichigo, like even if he pretended ichihime to be end game, he should have given them the same (or more) development he gave to ichiruki. because there's fucking nothing between ichigo and inoue more than a fucking friendship (i don't even know to say if even that)

i thought about all this when i saw a comment of an ichihime saying "i just hope they confirm that poem was for zangetsu and not for rukia" you know in that post where ichigo's seiyu finally gave us those LOVELY WORDS for rukia

which first doesn't make sense if you want to interpret it that way (at least for me) and second...

DOES IT FUCKING MATTER?

even if it did ichiruki has a lot more, the way they look at each other, the way they support each other, the way they bring the best of each other, the way they trust each other, the way they talk about each other and i can fucking go on

i just wish i hadn't read the manga bc it made me care about something i didn't and i ended up feeling disappointed haha :(

i realized i wrote a lot, you probably won't read this but hey i wanted to get this out of my system

sorry if there's grammatical errors, english is not my first language. i love your blog and your mind <3

Wow, anon, no worries! And thanks! 😊 Even those who don't care for romance see how suspiciously romantic IR comes off as 🤭. (I'm telling u, I think most of the fanbase & their mother thought IR would end up together...)

The manga is definitely more on the nose about IchiRuki. Everything stands out more, is more emphasized. U gotta have a severe lack of reading comprehension to not see the potential between them. People who think the anime pushed IR clearly haven't read the manga; the anime only added slightly to what was already established (and the manga still did it better), such as the ice skating episode that Kub0 expressed satisfaction in 👀. He always seemed to express enjoyment with the portrayal of IR in adaptations 🤷‍♀️.

That's why I can't believe for a second that Kub0 had "always" intended IH. Everything about them screams they don't work together; they had no chemistry, no special moments, no bonding, no poems, no good teamwork, no trust, no special thoughts from Ichigo towards Ori, etc...

IchiRuki will always be the most special bond in Bl3ach. Nothing could top it. And it's not some regular friendship or rivalry bond like in other battle shounens with male characters. It's a special bond between a man & a woman who met in such a supernatural romance sort of way. Boy meets girl. Girl saves him. He saves her. Like, hello?? Heck, some people have made theories that Bl3ach is more YA fantasy or shoujo (like Ichigo being a shoujo protag) than shounen, lol.

(That's why I hate it when antis try to lump IR in with non-canon mlm ships, forcing Rukia to be just "one of the guys"; otherwise, IchiRuki's special bond is unexplainable cuz wdym that Ichigo is this close to a woman that's not even his future wife— 🤪🤷‍♀️).

(On that note, one of the closest ships I've seen in animanga to the IR bond is NaLu from Fairy Tail. Ichigo ending up with Ori is like if Natsu were to end up with Lisanna 💀. Of course, FT is still ongoing so NaLu becoming canon is still on the horizon~)

IH could never. Kub0 can't even bother to give them content. Same with RR. He really could care less.

Even if Kub0 ended up retconning the "speed of the world" poem to make it about Zangetsu, it still wouldn't take away from how special the IR bond was throughout the manga. Ntm, the moment Ichigo regained his powers, he immediately set down his zanpakuto on the ground to stare at Rukia longingly while everyone's watching 🤣. Yeah, he really pined after those powers & not the woman in front of him...

Glad u also think IH didn't have much of a friendship either. They always seemed more acquaintances than friends. Ori was always just there? Butting into Ichigo's business? They never bonded...

Anyway, it's ok, anon, & hope that despite it all, you can still enjoy IR 🙂.

#anti ichihime #ichiruki #anti bleach ending #anonymous #reiapost

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just-jordie-things · 2 years ago

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11 and 34 for satoru with happy ending???

11: "I Almost Lost You" Kiss 34: Returned From The Dead Kiss ** current manga spoilers but also i haven't read this part myself yet either so it's not totally accurate lmfao** also hope this is good enough bc it's not super specific to the prompts but it's the same idea, yeah? ___

it had been weeks since satoru had been sealed in that damn box.

the world around you had fallen into chaos in a matter of minutes since word got out that the great gojo satoru was in the prison realm. curses and curse users seemed to crawl out of the shadows and the depths of hell itself to celebrate his removal from this plane. every day there was a new strife, a new challenge, just to keep up with exorcising all the curses that came out of hiding.

not to mention the weight of fear you carried, not knowing of his well being.

was he even alive in there? you worried, your mind too occupied with anxiety for you to properly patrol the area you were asked to.

there weren't many jujutsu sorcerers left. so many retired. so many died.

was he okay? you wondered. time worked differently in the prison realm, but that was about all you knew of it. it was supposed to be a rare object, but geto suguru had found it and used it with ease. would he ever return?

as the reminder of suguru crossed your mind, your teeth grit together. your eyes focused on a rather rowdy group of teenagers on the street, distracted.

your feelings about the man who'd once been your friend were always complicated. after he'd reportedly killed his family and went on to slaughter hundreds of non-sorcerers, you struggled with the way you missed him. no matter what he seemed to do, what heinous acts he committed, some nights you'd still cry yourself to sleep because you wished things could go back to the way they were.

most of those nights, satoru sat awake with you, comforting you as you wept and reminisced over simpler times, happier memories. he'd spend hours combing his fingers through your hair and cooing to you softly about how he missed those days, too.

and now that you were here, now that sartoru was sealed away, and suguru was to blame, it was as though all of your feelings became crystal clear.

you hated geto suguru. you hated everything about him. you hated who he'd become. you hated that he'd let himself take such a dark path. you hated that he'd betrayed you, and satoru, and shoko, and jujutsu sorcerers everywhere. but right now, you mostly hated him for what he'd done to satoru.

and satoru, on the other hand...

you loved gojo satoru. you loved everything about him. you'd grown to love him over many years, but you'd known you'd fallen when he'd give up his free nights to console you, to ease your heart and mind, and helped you rest. you loved that he kept you close, after everything that happened. you loved the effort he'd made to always know what you were up to, and how you were doing. you loved him for loving you, in whatever way he did, you knew he did.

with a huff, you deemed the area safe for now, and made the trek back to your apartment. if you mustered up the energy you could have jogged there to make it to the comfort of your bed sooner, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it.

so even in the dead of night, and even as you watched storm clouds rolling in, you walked yourself back home.

you've been trying to remain positive for so long, for the students, for the other sorcerers, you knew that your position as satoru's closest friend had meant you'd have to put on a brave face and ensure everyone that hope was not lost, that at the end of the day things would be okay and good would triumph because that's how it was supposed to be.

but you were feeling hopeless. and you'd carried that feeling since that day in shibuya when itadori had told you his sensei had been sealed away. you remember every second of the short interaction. his wide eyes, his shaky voice, the way he'd asked you what that meant, and then looked to you for guidance on how to help. you'd sent him off rather quickly to help at the bus station, but truthfully, you just needed him gone so he couldn't see your entire foundation crumbling.

and then the deaths of your friends, of your students, of people you'd fought alongside all your life, they all began piling up, and you couldn't help but feel hopeless. what else was there to feel?

the man who's mere existence was supposed to put all of this at ease was gone, and you were starting to think he'd never come back.

cold drops of rain begin to hit your face just as you make it to your apartment. you supposed you should consider yourself lucky that you'd made it home before the storm really started, but such positive emotion was squashed by the weight of your anguish.

it was only a matter of time before you were killed too, you thought bitterly, more irritated by the notion than afraid. you were getting reckless. running on little sleep and barely eating meant your energy was always on low battery. the last few curses you'd had to exorcize were low enough in grade that you considered yourself lucky, but you knew that if you ran into a grade one- or a special grade- that you'd be lucky if your death was quick.

"what am i going to do?" you mutter to no one and nothing in particular as you dig in your pocket for your keys.

the rain seemed to have stopped, as you realized you no longer felt the chilly wet drops hitting your head. i could have sworn the skies were overcast just a minute ago, you pondered, ignoring your door for a second longer to tilt your head back to check the night sky.

sure enough, the stars weren't visible, and the sprinkle had turned into a full on down pour. you even heard distant rumbles of thunder, now that you were paying attention.

but curiously, you remained dry. you remained untouched.

you weren't under an awning, and you obviously didn't have an umbrella, so you weren't sure what caused this phenomena.

your brows furrowed as you stretched your hand out in front of you, reaching as far as you could, and to your surprise, you remained dry. when you brought your hand back to your chest again, you studied it curiously, wondering if this was somehow your doing.

experimenting again, you reached your hand upwards, but still, not matter what direction you lunged, the rain fell around you without touching you.

"what the hell?" you mumbled, checking the pavement below you now.

you could see a clear line before you, where the pavement had been pelted by raindrops, but it stopped just in front of your feet. this had to be the most peculiar thing you'd ever seen.

you turned in either direction, and just as you thought, to your left and right, there was a dry patch of pavement underneath you. an amused smile dares to creep on your lips as you turn your head to see just how far this dry patch stretched.

but as you turned to check the ground behind you, you find the dry patch stretched a few feet back, and clung around another figure.

the air is knocked out of your lungs as you saw that familiar shock of white hair, and you sputter for a second before you're gasping and tears are stinging your eyes.

you're running at full speed with abandon, and you don't slow down as you grow nearer, to until you've crashed into him and knocked the air out of him, too.

strong arms wrap around and you and hold you tightly against his chest, not that he needs to, you're clinging onto him with your arms around his neck and your legs wrapping around his hips to keep yourself in place.

for a moment, you just hold each other, wordlessly, too busy gasping for air and sharing breathless laughs of relief. your face is buried in the crook of his neck, and his is lost in your hair, breathing in your familiar scent he'd damn near forgotten.

when you do finally pull away, it's only for a split second, just long enough to see satoru's pretty face is unharmed, before your hands are grabbing the collar of his tee shirt and your tugging him against you so fast your lips slam together.

it's messy, your teeth clash and you're panting so hard that it's difficult to properly kiss him, but neither of you seem to mind one bit.

just a minute ago you were certain you'd never see him again, so you'll take any scrap of closeness that you can get.

he has one arm wrapped under your legs to help support you, but his free hand tangles in your hair, pulling you back while he gasps for breath.

he's not sure what he'd expected when he'd warped his way to your apartment, but he wasn't expecting this.

your teary eyes flicker between his as you finally find your voice.

"oh my god, you're real," you say through heavy breaths, your shock still not having worn off. "you're here- you're alive"

satoru chuckles, nodding back at you, pressing his forehead into yours to better look into your eyes. he's not sure how much time had passed exactly, but he knows he missed your eyes more than anything else.

"i'm alive," he assures you, his lips whispering against your own, before he gives you a longer, deeper kiss. when he pulls away again, he presses his lips into your cheek, next. "i'm here, i'm home"

"i thought-" you choke on your burning throat. "i thought you were gone, i thought- i thought I'd never see you again," you're tearing up again, the weight of your emotions confusing you, but you still muter a smile as you look at him. "i thought i lost you" you whimper out.

"oh, baby," he sighs, setting you down on your feet so that he could wipe our tears away. "you didn't lose me, i'm right here," he assures you, and you nod, leaning into the warmth of his palm. "and i'm not going anywhere, never again, okay?"

you nod back at him, shutting your eyes as you relished in the comfort of his presence. his thumb strokes your cheek as he finally takes you in. there's bags under your eyes, and you look skinner, maybe even more frail. he frowns at the state you're in, but decides to ignore it for now. there would be time later to get you both back on a healthy track. right now all either of you wanted was to be wrapped up in the other.

keeping his infinity on like an umbrella, the two of you embrace tightly. hands clinging desperately to one another, just to make sure there was nothing that could take either one of you away.

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #satoru brainrot #satoru x reader #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #satoru #gojo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 3 months ago

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tuesday again 8/13/2024

i think i'm going to take a break from scifi written by men for a bit

listening

Ahmed Malek's Les Vacances de L'inspecteur Tahar, from the 1972 film of the same name.

if i can be really really real for a minute here the only thing i've listened to more than twice this week is GUESS by charli xcx but i don't want to have the same tuesdaysong twice in a row. this would make for an annoying end of year playlist.

i got an ad for a collected set of Ahmed Malek's Algerian jazz music on instagram. a session musician in Algiers, he made his name as a soundtrack composer with this comedic detective movie and was in demand for the rest of his life-- he's still really beloved in the African jazz scene, his works are super collectible, and his daughter gifted all his masters to a tiny record company so they could rerelease and preserve them.

it sounds exactly how you think a 70s cop movie should sound. impeccable example of the genre. instantly evocative. i wonder if it influenced the wider cop drama soundscape or if it's just an early example?

reading

many books disappointed me a great deal this week.

thank you philip.

the only comic i did like was Marauders (2019-2022), trying to get a little bit more into the xmen since my bestie has decided we're watching all their movies. this is really fun bc i knew who kitty pryde was, and she's a privateer captain who looks beat to shit the whole book. extremely fun and gay and swashbuckling, i placed holds for the other volumes already.

the two rogue and gambit books assumed i knew more about those characters than i already did, and had a heavy reliance on flashbacks and references to other issues.

the magic order was insufferable and did not stick its landing. made me worry about the characters and then feel really fucking stupid for worrying about the characters. i don't know why i keep trying mark millar books and thinking i will like them.

HOTELITOR had a very fun concept (mech hotel), but was a little more middle-grade than i was expecting, even from a teen book. very calarts visual style. very power of friendship will undo an evil corporation, which, i wish.

this little mermaid manga was not for me. and that's fine. most manga isn't for me.

we have to take a brief detour into how i store my books (poorly). these big middle shelves hold an unsorted mass, mostly of stuff i'm not sure i want to keep. i'm trying to be more thoughtful about which books i keep bc realistically i do not reread very often (if at all) and i am running out of space. as much as i love weird little scifi and fantasy paperbacks it would be cool if they all fit on one shelf.

here are four books i rapidly cycled through this weekend that are going to be donated.

Michael Moorcock's The Black Corridor, 1969, about a man slowly going insane in a spaceship fleeing a politically violent Earth with his friends and relations in cryosleep. not a very beloved Moorcock book among the Moorcock fans. this has a heavy focus on the rise of British fascism and i'm not now, nor will i ever be, in the mood for this. a shame bc this slim hardcover has proportions that were very nice to hold.

Thomas Burnett Swan's Where is the Bird of Fire?, 1970, three not quite short stories but not quite novellas about mythical creatures at the founding of Rome, Xerxes the Great's empire, and Britain near the fall of Rome. states very clearly exactly what it is on the tin and delivers it, unfortunately i don’t like any of the flavors on offer. every single one of these has the half-coy kind of sex scene common in historical fiction, where in order to represent the past accurately and with full verisimilitude we Must convey that they fucked nasty and had fun doing it. many times. unfortunately a middle aged man wrote these and our erotic sensibilities are Very far apart.

Glen Cook's Cold Copper Tears, 1988, a noirish urban fantasy. there are fourteen books in this series so clearly people like them. i found a lot of the Noir Similes a little tortured. "but kay isn't that the point--" yes but these annoyed me. also there's a rape joke i didn't enjoy on the fourth fucking page. i have very few hard outs in fiction and one of them is on-screen or on-page sexual assault or rape jokes in chapter one. i am slightly less likely to drop a book if it has rape jokes in chapters that are not the first but like. it’s still almost a flat line at 100%.

and the only one i got two-thirds of the way through, and which i partially liveblogged here,

Eric Kotani and John Maddox Robert's Between the Stars, 1988, the third in their Island Worlds series. it stands alone fairly well, which is impressive.

this book is good at differentiating a very large, very clannish cast, which is a hard thing to do in a political opera. people are often differentiated by little physical movement quirks, which a spy later uses to identify someone. it’s a lovely bit of business and definitely the authors’ strong points.

also props for two of the most capable people, an ill-liked matriarch/scientific genius and a femme fatale Russian, for being two of the most interesting characters with the most screen time, both on their own and in other character’s thoughts. unfortunately, with such a large cast and so many factions, the action is often split and meandering. racist in the very specific orientalist way cyberpunk eighties fiction often is, but uncommonly, they remembered Turkey existed and included in the orientalism?

severely suffered from a second act where it tripped over its own feet a lot instead of continued forward motion, quite honestly i got bored and tired of being hit over the head with various points. a very whedonesque quality of needing to comment on the political implication of something the instant after it happens.

this is not a subtle book, and it smacks less of an urgency to get a point across in as few words as possible and more an uncertainty in the authors of getting their point across at all. this is confusing to me bc this was their fourth book together and the third in this series. have some more confidence in your writing abilities. like, if you've already established your baddie as a fascist torturer who literally owns slaves and plans on taking over earth, you don't need to have him also say "Hitler was much-maligned" at a dinner party he's holding in a room full of hunting trophies where the only things on the table are red wine and whole game birds. you've more than established him as evil. the whole book is like this. it's exhausting.

not a book for me! many such cases!

watching

my brother was really singing the praises of vampire hunter d's animation and i was like, postapoc roaming vampire bounty hunter? say less! im already getting in!

i watched the 1980s version with some bemusement until he was like "why did you watch that and not the 2000 version." well that would have been so cool of you to be more specific, my boy!!! vampire hunter d (1985, dir. Toyoo Ashida) was still fun but clearly had way less of a budget than Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust (2000, dir. Yoshiaki Kawajiri)

youtube

i enjoyed bloodlust a little more bc it had a postapoc style i enjoyed a little more: showed me big manta rays that hide under the sand, big ruined radio dishes, and lots of beautifully ruined skyscrapers and fucked up highway overpasses. every time you see me post about a BIG!!! FUCKING!!! DISH!!! you should hear this schoolchildren "YAAAAAY!" sample from Jet Set Radio

youtube

playing

nothing much to report, a lot of grindy genshin impact shit as i try to clear all my map markers before the new nation drops at the end of the month.

making

the girls have three litter boxes available to them (laundry room/spare bathroom/utility closet), all in the correct and recommended locations, all with good sightlines and escape routes and all out of the main hustle and bustle of the apartment, all open top, all with the same kind of litter and the same kind of litter mat. they only use the one in my laundry room. since phil has had free roam of the house she has not used the one in the office bathroom. i asked my vet about this and sent her pictures to make sure i was doing everything right and the diagnosis was "yeah that's a little weird of them". can we spread the wear and tear out a little more, girls? so i don't have to deep clean the same litterbox every week?

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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friedbaekhyunandeggso · 1 year ago

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found you - ch. 3

pairing: gojo satoru x female oc (ara natsuna) [p.s. y'all kno i try to keep her features ambiguous asf but i think i mentioned her having long/waist-length hair at some point :') maybe i should just give her features but i kinda like leaving it open-ended]

tropes: psycho! rival! athlete! yandere! gojo x introvert! booksmart! rbf! oc

warnings: 18+ only babes, stalking/possessive themes, pet names [kitten, baby, princess, pretty], manhandling, mentions of depression, smoking (w33d, cigarette), profanity, dub/non-consented sex, begging, fingering, orgasm denial, brat taming (kinda), rough sex, creampie (pls don’t b silly & cover ur willy), coercion, alcohol/drinking, peer pressure, jjk manga reference (no major spoilers, jus some of the same phrasing-lmk if u spot it lolol), groping, somnophilia (a bit)

word count/plot: [18.4k!] ara catches gojo's attention when news breaks that she is the top academically ranked student in their grade. he is ranked second. he tries to befriend her but she ignores him. despite her obvious disinterest, his obsession begins...

a/n: Sooo i’m not joking about all the warnings so pls b thorough w reading them. I really don’t want anyone to feel misled bc i do take my time to type everything out bc this stuff is dark & not a happy jolly love story. I feel like a part of why I even write this story is bc i want to explore the characterization of someone extremely entitled and completely helpless to their impulses vs someone who is relatively sheltered & always in fight or flight mode-its all p twisted but can u tell i wasn’t in a good place when i first started this LMAO. anyway, jus b warneddd

ch. 1 , ch. 2 [ part 1 | part 2 ] , chapter 3 , ch. 4

They fucked. They fucked a lot. Whether it be at night after his basketball practice or mid-day in school. In study rooms, the locker room, empty classrooms-wherever they could find.

Some days he wanted her extra early, he’d have her first thing in the morning or right after she changed into uniform. Or-when he’s feeling extra desperate-he’d have her in his car in the parking lot, right after driving them to school. He liked seeing her all flush-faced and flustered while zooming out of his car those mornings.

He never seemed to get enough.

And she couldn’t take it. Her veil was slipping away with each encounter with him. She cried a lot when he wasn’t around and grew incredibly frustrated whenever he was around. Her patience was running incredibly thin—despite knowing her options were limited, she never stopped fantasizing of ways to end their ‘relationship’ on the daily.

The cops left their school a week ago. It seemed they gathered all the information they needed. And seeing how lax Gojo was, she knew without a doubt that he’d gotten off without a scratch. She didn’t even think anyone suspected him.

How could they? When she was the only one that’d seen it all—The only one who knew the reason.

Noel hadn’t come back to school—rumor had it that he’d transferred schools. Rumor also had it that it was Nanami’s doing because-apparently-Noel stole jewelry from Nanami’s house the night of the party.

She couldn’t help but doubt that rumor. Noel was well off, he didn’t need someone else’s mothers jewelry. But she supposed transferring to another school district couldn’t be helped, especially not after having a label like ‘robber’ stuck to you at a school full of rich kids. It didn’t help that he robbed his own team captain at that; it was something his reputation couldn’t come back from-at this school, anyway.

She wished she could directly ask him what happened that night but she doubted she’d get the chance now.

Eitherway, she knew something was more than suspicious about that situation. And it made her more than just irritable when she thought of Gojo going on with his daily life while other people had to face the repercussions of his actions.

Suddenly the sound of a car honking drew her from her thoughts.

She immediately glanced over to see a matte black Mercedes G-Wagon pulling up beside her. The passenger window rolled down to reveal an unruly, platinum haired boy with the most lethal smirk on his lips.

He lowered his sunglasses, “You forgot about me already?”

She’d gotten so lost in her thoughts she must’ve accidentally walked right past his car. She swallowed-hesitating for only a moment before slipping into his car.

The second she shut the car door, she tried not to be tense. She knew what was coming and he did exactly that.

His hand slid around her nape, his crystalline eyes affectionate as he leaned over to capture her lips in a lingering kiss. He always greeted her like he missed her—as if he hadn’t been in her bed an hour ago.

Since he slept over most nights he'd wanted to leave some of his clothes at hers. She immediately refused-using the excuse that if her Dad found his clothes in her room she was bound to get in trouble.

In reality, she needed the hour he took to go home and change in the morning for herself. He was always around-it felt suffocating sometimes. Suffocating enough that she almost liked school.

Except for when he texted her ‘i wanna see you’ in the middle of class. That text filled her with dread every time.

Aside from school, that ‘morning hour’ and his basketball practice-they were almost always together. Like now, he always picked her up the same time her bus usually came to pick her up. He also parked a block away from her house-her orders, because she had a thing about discretion.

He broke the kiss, his fingers playing with her hair, “What’s got you in a daze, kitten?”

She inadvertently tensed, “Nothing.”

He assessed her before his gaze grew warm, “Always so serious.” he mused.

He ruffled her hair and she pushed his hand away. He leaned back in his seat before driving in that one-handed fashion that he always did.

Her eyes narrowed when she noticed him take an unfamiliar route. She watched him pull into one of the nearby gated communities.

She didn’t build up the courage to ask about their whereabouts until he stopped in front of a house that couldn’t have been worth less than two million. The architecture of the house was rather modern, with a lot of glass wall panels and a marble driveway.

“This isn’t school.” the words came out more curt than she intended.

“Correct. We’re picking Suguru up.”

Her eyes widened and before she could speak the back door of the car opened and Geto slipped inside. He was dressed in uniform. His hair tied back in his typical man bun, she’d never seen him without it.

Geto patted Gojo on the shoulder in greeting before settling into the backseat. “Yo.”

Geto caught her gaze and merely nodded, his expression unreadable.

“Yooo,” Gojo greeted-rather enthusiastically-before pulling out of the driveway. “Busted your car, didn’t ya?”

“Shut the hell up. I get it back tomorrow.”

Gojo smirked, “Damn-tomorrow? Kinda liked it when you rely on me.”

“Yeah well I’d rather hang myself before getting on a smelly bus.”

Ara flushed.

Geto continued, “Did you do the calc homework?”

“Yeah, you want it?”

“Do you remember what you got for the last question?”

They continued to converse until Gojo parked in the school parking lot.

Gojo checked his watch, “We still got fifteen minutes left till homeroom.”

“Great, I had to print out something from the library anyway.”

Geto stepped out of the car only to pop his head back in a second before he shut the door, “Yo, make sure to send me the calc homework.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Gojo said, slipping his phone out his pocket to do just that.

Geto’s eyes seemed to catch Ara’s for a moment, “Bye, Natsuna.”

She blinked, “Bye.”

Geto shut the car door before walking off in the direction of school. The familiar sound of a text being sent was audible, “There.” Gojo muttered.

“You told him.” Ara spoke, rather outright.

He raised a pale brow, “What?”

“He knows.. about us.”

Gojo blinked.

She held his gaze, trying not to look as unnerved as she felt, “I thought we agreed on keeping us a secret.”

“He’s my best friend.”

“And?” her irritation got the best of her. “What if he tells someone?”

“He’s not like that. Besides, you told Millie too-didn’t you?”

“No.”

“She knows we fucked.”

She flushed, “Yeah, and that’s it. I didn’t tell her we’re together.”

A subtle grin tugged at the corner of his lip, “Love when you say it.”

His hand went to the headrest of her seat-leaning towards her, “You could tell her. You can tell anybody you wan-“

“I prefer to keep things private,” she bit out, “You know this. How come I always have to listen to you but you never listen to me?”

The second the question left her lips, she froze. She felt it—the invisible line she’d crossed. She felt herself treading into dangerous territory.

His voice was oddly calm, “I do listen to you.”

It was true, sometimes he did but- “Only when you want to.” The words tumbled out of her, a whispery quality to her voice.

Suddenly his hand was at her nape, forcing her to look up at him. “Because you still hide things from me, Ara. I want you to tell me everything. I’m willing to tell you anything because I’m willing to give you everything. You just need to tell me what’s on your mind.”

She grabbed his wrist, her mind boggled. She shoved his hand away from her neck, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m willing to wait, Ara. I told you that I’m gonna be your everything and I meant it.”

His gaze was determined as he spoke, “I want you to open up to me because you want to-because you love me.”

She froze-holding his gaze for a moment before speaking a bit shakily, “You couldn’t handle it if I told you what’s on my mind.”

“Is that what you think?”

“It’s what I know.”

“Tell me,” he insisted, “Tell me one thing.”

She didn’t have enough energy to hold back- “I want space.”

She couldn’t look him in the eye once she said the words-simply staring straight out his blacked out windows. She tried not to tremble as the silence hung like weight between.

“I don’t believe in space.” His voice was cold.

She shivered, fighting the urge within her to just clamp up and be silent as she stuttered out, “I-I told you.. you couldn’t handle it.”

She nearly yelled when he grabbed a fistful of her hair, turning her to face him.

His eyes were ablaze with such anger it was nearly palpable, “Is there another boy?”

Her eyes widened before narrowing, “What?! No-!“ she twisted her head away from his hold, shoving his arm back.

His arm barely budged but he complied anyway, releasing her.

“Then why the hell do you want space?”

“Because we’re always together! I-I barely have time to myself. Y-your always there.”

“You had enough time to yourself. All those years before I found you was enough.” His tone was frigid, unrelenting.

She wanted to cry-she couldn’t do this anymore. “Y-you see,” she choked out, “I can’t speak my mind.”

His hand found her nape again, forcing her to face him—forcing her near as tears spilled down her face.

“No,” his tone was calm, yet the icy undercurrent within his words could not be denied, “You only want space because you’re afraid of falling for me. You think the more you get away from me you can convince yourself you don’t need me and I won’t have any of that.”

His voice turned lethal-completely deadpan, “I’m never letting you go.”

The words felt all too heavy-all too weighted-all too much. She hated this feeling; the feeling of having found another cage. This was exactly what she didn’t want.

Another situation that she didn’t know how to get rid of.

She shoved herself out of his grasp, looking away before he could see more tears spilling out of her eyes or how she was biting down on her lip hard to control her sob. She didn’t want to cry in front of him.

She didn’t think when she stepped out of his car and ran towards school. All she wanted to do was get away from him.

She didn’t respond to him all day-and the terror of it all didn’t hit her until she was home, in the middle of doing her nightly skin care routine.

Fuck.

She froze, lowering her hand as she stared at her terrified expression in the mirror-the memory of how angry he looked when she muted him resurfacing.

She’d felt incredibly depressed after their argument, going class to class like a zombie until all her emotions became numb. She was incredibly zoned out, fatigued. She hadn’t checked her phone once all day.

The second she got home, she fell back into her old routine of napping after school. She felt refreshed after waking up and was able to do her homework with perfect concentration-not one stray thought clouding her mind.

She didn’t realize what she was disassociating from until now.

She quickly wiped her hands and retrieved her phone to check the time. 10:29 pm.

She blinked. That was way past his practice time. He would normally be at her place by now. What is going on?

Her heart raced. Too say she was worried wouldn't nearly cover how fidgety she was feeling. He never did this before.

She swallowed, wandering out her room to glance out the window. She was nearly certain it had something to do with their argument-it had to, right?

Her stomach rolled at the thought of him being angry. She stared at his several texts with growing horror.

9:59 am - satoru bby🫶❣️🍰: hi

10:45 am - satoru bby🫶❣️🍰: araa let’s talk

11:37 am - satoru bby🫶❣️🍰: i wanna see you

11:39 am - satoru bby🫶❣️🍰: talk to me ara

1:24 pm - satoru bby🫶❣️🍰: u fr ignoring me?

1:45 pm - satoru bby🫶❣️🍰: u can’t ignore me forever yk

Her horror grew a thousand fold. She never ignored his texts-especially not after the ‘muting’ incident. But this-she’d ignored his ‘i wanna see you’ text, the first time she'd done such a thing. She was sure-most terrifyingly sure-there was no way she was getting out of this unscathed.

He was sure to be fuming.

She held her phone to her chest, dropping to her knees in the middle of her room. Questioning everything.

I shouldn’t have argued with him. Oh my god.. God, why didn’t I check my phone? Why?! Fuck, fuck, fuck !

She raked a hand through her hair. There was no way she was going to get an ounce of sleep tonight. She was terrified of what he would do.

Her eyes widened. I should text back. Maybe that’ll calm him.

She fumbled for her phone only to freeze when she saw a new notification appear. It was him.

satoru bby🫶❣️🍰: come outside

Her heart stopped. What should I do?

Her mind scrambled for the safest option. Her fingers hesitated before flying across the keyboard.

ara: i just saw ur texts sorry

Before she could send out her next reply, three typing dots appeared from his end and he responded a millisecond later.

satoru bby🫶❣️🍰: just come outside .

She froze. She couldn’t help but think he was mad-definitely mad. He never texted like that.

Oh no..

Her anxiety spiked. She knew she had to go.. Her eyes squeezed shut, chest tightening.

satoru bby🫶❣️🍰: i won’t repeat myself ara

Her fingers flew across the keyboard.

ara: im coming

She stared at her text with dread and.. frustration. Frustration because she couldn't believe he could command her like this-invoking her forced compliance. Dread because.. she had no clue what he would do.

She hugged herself tight as she slowly approached his car, which was parked at its usual spot down the block. He knew to avoid the cameras around her house.

Her heart pounded rapidly in her chest as she knocked on the G-wagon passenger door before stepping inside.

He was facing out his window before she knocked. He immediately glanced over-tapping off the burnt edge of his joint.

His radiant eyes scanned her impassively before puffing out smoke slowly. The smoke silently curling in the air between them.

“Close the door.” he muttered.

She blinked, immediately glancing towards the passenger door to see that her hand was still on the handle. She hadn’t fully closed it.

She refrained from audibly swallowing before closing the door. She flinched when the car door locked.

She glanced over his way to see him swiftly adjust the gear to ‘drive’-mode and get the car on the road. The speed of the action made her throat tighten.

Her intertwined hands fidgeted in her lap uneasily. She contemplated apologizing for not responding to his texts-but she couldn’t find it in herself too. She almost didn’t want to remind him. Even if he was angry, he seemed somewhat calm right now.

She couldn’t ever be sure with him.

She didn’t want to break the silence. Her mind going a mile per minute before finally spurting out, “Where are we going?”

Ever since their ice cream hangout, he always wanted to take her to places at night but she always refused. The paranoia of her Dad finding out always overwhelmed her.

“To a party.” he responded, airily.

Her head whipped around to face him. She stared in shock as he indifferently took another hit from the joint.

“W-what?” she questioned, blankly. Her voice low.

“We’re going to a party.”

She stared at him. He couldn’t be serious… Entering a party with him-everyone would know what that meant, everyone would see them.

“I-“ she scrambled for words, “I can’t go.”

“Yes, you can.” his voice completely assured.

“No, I can’t, Satoru,” she fought to keep her voice even. “My Dad might check on me a-and we can’t show up to an event together-“

“Fuck your Dad and fuck being private.”

She stared at him in astonishment. His eyes were ablaze as he threw his burnt out joint out the window.

“Sick of that shit. I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

She felt herself growing sick. Is this supposed to be her punishment? No. no. no.. She couldn’t allow this, word would spread like wildfire and if her Dad were to somehow find out.. It was a huge risk-one that she wasn’t willing to take.

It didn’t help that something about the briskness of his words made her impulsively tap into her anger.

Her tone came out firm-with a tinge of desperation, “What do you have to prove to people?”

A wicked smirk slipped across his lips, “I don’t give a fuck about people. But you do-don’t you? You think your Pops is gonna find out. You know the attention you're gonna get bein’ mine and you hate it.”

He continued, “I don’t give a shit about either excuse anymore. Anything happens, they’ll have to come through me first.”

“Excuse?” she repeated in contempt-filled shock before sputtering out, “Y-you don’t understand-“

“What? That your Dad’s old school? He doesn’t allow you to date? Who cares-If he hears some shit just tell him it’s a rumor.”

Suddenly anger overrode her fear. Her words came out sharp, “Do you think I would be like this if it were that easy?”

“Then tell me why its not.”

She froze, her partly open lips gradually closing. She’d nearly told him-her answer just on the tip of her tongue-but it felt wrong. Telling someone her family issues would be a first, and-on top of that-confiding in him of all people? She’d rather die.

Her voice was low as she spoke through gritted teeth-attempting to keep her emotions at bay, “Just-take me home.” she choked out, shakily.

He glanced over at her. She felt his gaze on her and quickly faced the window. Her jaw locked as she swallowed, hard.

She squeezed her eyes shut as a heavy silence followed. She felt the tension build into a knot in her stomach.

She hesitantly glanced his way to see his expression was completely cold-to glacial levels. Not one emotion on his face.

She felt herself go breathless but decided to push her luck anyway. She needed to go home.

“P-please, Satoru.” she whispered.

His hand on the wheel tightened, “You’re coming with me. That’s final.”

She felt her heartbeat go faster. The finality in his tone was suffocating. She hated how helpless she felt; she felt the weight of it in every point of her body. Unease swirled underneath her skin, making her tremble slightly.

She couldn’t go to this party. She had to try. She needed to think of something.

“Satoru..”

“Hm?”

She fought to keep her voice even, “I’m dressed in pjs, I-I can’t go like this.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s Shoko’s party, I’ll tell her to let you borrow somethin’ “

She gnawed on her bottom lip, facing the window again as she racked her mind for something. It was hard to think through the turmoil of emotions swirling within her.

Her desperation got the best of her as she spoke, her voice cracking, “Please, don’t do this. Just take me home-I-I want to be home.”

He sucked his teeth, his ill-tempered expression faltering a second to reveal something more worn out. He looked almost exhausted.

“Why’d you have to whine today of all days? I don’t have the patience today.”

Her stomach twisted at how he spoke. He made it sound as if he were complaining about a pet being disobedient. Her nails dug into her palms as her hands clenched into fists.

“Aren’t you supposed to be my peace or some shit.” he muttered.

She chose not to dwell on his words, instead she inhaled a much needed breath before speaking quietly, “I’m sorry to bother you.. I promise I’ll stop once you take me home.”

A short, dry laugh left him, “Nah.”

His fingers tapped the steering wheel before he glanced her way, “I can think of a few other ways you could put me at ease.”

Her eyes widened when he pulled the car over to the side of the road. Her stomach swirled with dread. He wouldn’t—

He stepped out of the car and easily made it to her side. He opened the passenger side door, his tall frame nearly blocking the entirety of the entrance.

She stared at him in horror. His blue crystal-like eyes seemed to glimmer in the dark. A faint, nearly imperceptible smile grew on his lips as he looked at her.

She was still for a millisecond before attempting to zip past him through the narrow space underneath his arm-but he caught her easily. Almost as if he anticipated it.

She was yanked to his side, “Relax, kitten.”

Her limbs flung out, trying to connect with anything as she twisted in his grasp. Sounds of frustration leaving her lips as she yelled, “Let go-! Let go of-!”

He swung open the back door as she struggled in his hold. He tossed her in the backseat, her back flat against the seats. She didn’t get a second to process because Gojo was suddenly above her-the wide ceiling of the car providing him ample room.

She opened her mouth to scream but froze when a smug grin split across his lips, “Go ahead, be as loud as you want.”

He tilted his head slightly, “No one’s around to hear you.”

Her heart sank when she realized he was right. Whatever road they were on was rather deserted. She hadn’t seen anyone drive past them for the past ten minutes.

His lips brushed over hers, “No one but me.”

She shoved him off, a short cry leaving her lips as she twisted fiercely underneath him—attempting to turn her body and grasp the nearest car door handle.

His large hand found the meeting place of her neck and shoulder-and shoved her down. She yelled out.

“Where do you think you’re goin’ Ara.”

She stared up at him-momentarily frozen. His pale face was directly over hers, too close-everything too visible. The faint flush over his high cheekbones, the subdued spark in his dilated eyes, the hard-set of his jaw.

Strands of his white hair tickled her forehead as his hand came up to the side of her face. His thumb gliding over her bottom lip-playing with it almost. “You can’t escape me.” he reminded her, softly.

Tears filled her eyes and her arms moved before she could process it. She scrambled, she didn’t even know what she was doing. She wasn’t sure if she was shoving him or hitting him-all she knew was that she had to get away from him.

It took him an entirety of two seconds to pin both of her hands above her head with just one of his own. A sob left her lips as she writhed. She threw her head back in frustration.

His other hand slid down her ribs, over her stomach—pushing her arched body back down against the seats.

“Fuck, you’re testing me today.”

He pushed her legs aside with his free hand before easily tugging her sweats off.

After removing them, he spread her bare legs and hooked them over his own. Despite being clothed himself, his erection made itself evident through the tent at his groin. The tip of the tent poking right against her panties, right over where it wanted to be.

She gasped, her hands pushing against his hold on her wrists as she struggled.

“N-no! Gojo-stop! Please-I don’t want to-!”

He began to thumb her clit over her panties, giving her a completely different reason to writhe underneath him.

“You think you get the choice?” he hissed, “You think I forgot how you ignored me all day, hm? I needed you, kitten. You ignored me.”

She let out a choked moan when he squeezed her clit slightly, “You can’t ignore me now, hm?” he taunted.

She felt his cock twitch against her cunt. He was already so hard, she couldn’t help but feel terrified.

“S-satoru, plea-nngh!” she moaned shakily, betraying herself. His fingers knew his way around her too well. He knew where to touch her-to make her whimper-to make her moan.

His thumb moved expertly along her puffy clit, pressing at the point where it throbbed the most to make her squeal.

Her shoulders shook as she twisted under him, her arms sore from how much she thrashed in his hold. His grip on her wrists never loosened.

She immediately turned her face aside when he lowered his face above hers. A strangled moan leaving her lips when her clit grew slightly hard under his ministrations–making her all the more sensitive to his touch at its tense bud. She was close, and he knew it too.

A low gasp left her lips when his touch disappeared, leaving her clit throbbing with need–aching for more. She’d been seconds away from her peak.

She felt her hips rise, nearly chasing his touch before freezing. Her frustration surprised her–her eyes going wide in shock.

No… no!

“You wanted more, didn’t you, kitten?” he spoke huskily against her temple before taunting, “Beg for it.”

She gasped when she felt his long fingers touch her pussy lips, spreading her wetness along her folds. She hated that she enjoyed his touch–she hated that she knew he was prepping her.

She turned her head to face him, the hatred clear in her eyes before she spit in his face.

“Never.”

A growl ripped from his throat and the next thing she knew she was screaming. His index and middle finger fucking her so hard, her hips bucked with each thrust.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, Ara,” he promised darkly in her ear, “I’m gonna fuck the disobedience right outta you.”

She screamed once more when his fingers felt like they slammed too deep. The lewd sounds of her wetness felt too loud each time his fingers fully submerged themselves in her.

“I-I hate you.” she sobbed, her head shaking back and forth as she tried to tame her moans.

“Your pussy doesn’t.”

She hated that he was right. With each ferocious thrust of his fingers, drops of her wetness flew in the air-leaving wet spots on his pants, his shirt. It was embarrassing–and completely lewd. She squeezed her thighs, aching to close her legs but his body was planted firmly between them–keeping her legs wide open, her pussy completely vulnerable to his advances.

She sobbed, her back arching as she felt herself get as wet as he liked. Her pussy sloshing with juices, her insides a complete sopping mess. It hadn’t taken long due to his teasing earlier.

She knew he liked when he got her like this, so he could completely submerge his huge cock into her straight away despite how narrow she was inside. It made her realize-with daunting clarity-how rough he was planning on being.

He groaned before removing his fingers from her cunt and slipping them into his mouth. A jolt of electricity zipping up her spine as she watched him deftly suck his fingers clean. He loved her taste.

“Fuck,” he muttered, a bit breathless.

He reached down to unzip himself, his luminous eyes never leaving hers as he did so. Her legs trembled.

He didn’t miss the subtle action-his gaze dropping to her shaky legs. His hand slid down her inner thigh, making her trembling worse.

“You scared?” he murmured, quietly-before grabbing her by the hip to pull her sopping cunt directly against his groin. She felt his length press against her through his jeans, he was so stiff she couldn’t help but shiver.

He moved her trembling legs over his shoulders, “You should be.”

She felt tears slip down her face as she tried to contain her sob. She lifted her hips-her cunt inadvertently rubbing his clothed cock as she tried to push at his grip on her wrists-frustration consuming her. She hated how weak the action felt against the strength of his grip.

He chuckled darkly.

“Please, stop..” her voice shook, but she knew her pleas would be futile.

He began to unzip himself once-more. Her body jolted when she felt his hot, bare cock press against her pussy lips. Her wetness making it all too easy for him to glide his thick, veiny length through her folds.

He pulled back slightly, wrapping his hand around his cock to press its tip into her clit—making her squeal. He began to rub his cockhead against her clit in painstakingly slow circles.

His breath hitched as he watched her stir underneath him. She attempted to lift her hips away from him but he was adamant, keeping his cock right at the bud of her pleasure—knowing how it would make her feel.

“I’m gonna make you wish you were good to me.”

Her eyes shot open at the coarseness of his voice, meeting his dominating gaze a second before he showed her the truth behind his words.

She screamed.

He’d buried himself into her to the hilt-in one brutally swift motion. His cock was so huge she felt like she could feel it throbbing at every point in her body. The sound of the action was so lewd, she couldn’t help but gape in embarrassment.

But he didn’t stop–he didn’t give her a second to adjust. Instead he made her mind go completely stupid when he fucked at her at the cruelest pace she’d ever felt. It felt like the cruelest pace known to mankind. She didn’t think her mouth ever closed.

The sound of his cock slamming into her was instantly repeated–it was never ending. Despite being so wet, the fit was still too tight–she was able to feel each bump, ridge and curve of his cock. Especially its head when it hit far too deep within her then it should've. Her body shook forcefully with each thrust.

Her legs on his shoulders gave him the perfect angle to drench his cock to brim in her juices—allowing him to thrust into her as mercilessly as he wanted. His pace was brutal-punishing.

She managed to finally gasp out words through her moans, “Oh my god-ngh!-I-I can’t! I can’t–Gojo, please.”

Her back arched as he didn’t stop-desperate mewls and cries leaving her lips. He clutched the side of her face-his nose grazing hers as he pressed his cock deep into her, making her hips rise as she groaned. She felt so filled.

His thumb wiped away a tear as he continued to thrust into her-a bit slower than before so he could revel in the feel of her slippery cunt. He didn’t know how she managed to be so soft and tight at the same time.

“Love seeing you cry on my cock like this,” he muttered raggedly, “Gets me so hard, kitten-so hard. I don’t wanna stop. I can’t stop.”

He groaned as he slowed down-as if it were taking him everything to do so. “I don’t wanna cum just yet.” he gritted out hoarsely.

He finally went still inside her. He released her hands to slip off his shirt and her eyes widened.

My hands are free.

It was a split second decision-one that was made without a single regard for how badly her body ached or how stiff her arms felt. She moved, using her legs on his shoulder to kick him back and twist her body towards the door.

She clutched the door handle and shoved it open, only to yell when she felt hands grip her waist and yank her back inside.

She screamed, struggling and kicking in his grip, “Let go—let go of me! Let go! Let g-“

Suddenly she was held up and plunged down on his cock in his lap. Her wetness completely enveloping him, instantly transforming her scream into a choked moan. Her body shook as her cunt was forced to accommodate him. The sensation all too much-tipping her to the edge of her sanity.

Her eyes squeezed shut as her cunt spasmed around his stiff cock. She jerked in his hold, nails scratching wildly at his arm around her, "N-no, nngghh," she choked out, moaning as her cunt squeezed him so tight, "Please-please—" she whisper-cried.

Despite all her struggle, he didn’t budge—he was completely immovable. He easily reached over and slammed the car door shut. The 'click' sound of the doors locking seemed to echo.

The second the door locked, his hand slipped around her neck and shoved her small back completely against his muscular chest. His other hand gripped her hip, keeping her rooted in spot as he shoved the full length of his cock into her. The head of his cock reaching a spot too deep.

“AHh-!”

“Enough.” he said the word without a drop of emotion.

Her whole body twitched, uneven gasps leaving her lips as his fingers tightened around her throat. Her back arched against him, his hand on her hip kept her cunt glued to him.

He stared at her parted lips, “When are you gonna learn, Ara..”

She whimpered when she felt his cock throb within her. She dropped her head-forcing herself to breathe.

His hand at her neck slid to her jaw, forcing her head back against his shoulder.

His lips brushed her throat, “I’m never letting you go.”

His cock didn’t stop moving after that. He fucked her. His actions embodying his words as his cock pistoned in and out of her ruthlessly.

His hold on her left her utterly useless to anything but his means. She could feel too much of him at this position. Her body trembling with each rough press of his cock.

Her throat was sore from how much cried-screamed-moaned. From pain or pleasure, she didn’t know anymore. All she knew was that she was completely consumed by him. There was nothing else but him.

He was everywhere. Beside her, near her, in her.

Nowhere to escape. Just him. Only him.

His breaths were short, hot and desperate beside her ear. He bit at her neck and jaw needily. His hand on her neck now under her shirt, squeezing her tits with all his strength. His cock pounded into her harder.

She bucked forward, crying out. His arm over her tits kept her close to his firm body. With how hard he was fucking her, he had to hold her-to keep her from flying all over the place.

The pleasure building within her couldn’t be helped. Her skin felt hot and sweaty—at the cusp of something she couldn’t come back from. Every nerve within her body felt attuned to the brutal pace of his cock.

She flimsily grabbed the wrist of his hand at her tits, “Satoru, pl-nnghh-st-Satoru!” she yelled, wishing she could tell him to stop but the only thing that left her mouth was an earth shattering moan.

She jerked forward. Her pussy spasming hard around his cock. She felt like she’d entered another dimension—especially since his pace didn’t slow down. His cock drawing out her pleasure to the max.

His arms wound themselves tight around her smaller frame, keeping her close against him as her entire body jerked and trembled with her orgasm. Her back arched against him-his arms only tightening around her to pull her close again. She threw her head back and he buried his face into her neck.

She couldn’t stop moaning-screaming-she couldn’t tell anymore. All she knew her throat felt entirely too scratchy from all the noises she’d made during their fucking and now, her high.

Her pussy clamped around him. Her walls squeezing him so deliciously tight he swore he saw a glimpse of heaven. He groaned into her neck. The groan was so deep, so animalistic she felt it emanating through his chest against her back.

He leaned forward, burying his cock impossibly deeper as he came. She was too weak to even gasp at the feeling of his thick, warm cum spurting within her-completely coating her cunt walls. She merely twitched at the feeling of his stiff cock throbbing in her overly sensitive cunt. Streaks of his cum slipped out of her-down her inner thighs. There was simply no more room inside her.

Then finally, they both went still. Nothing but their breathlessness filling the silence.

She released his hair, she hadn’t realized she grabbed it mid orgasm. Her tits felt sore from how hard he’d squeezed her through his high.

She shivered when she felt his cock twitch within her-the aftermath of his peak. She felt so weak, so utterly used. She closed her eyes, not wanting to think anymore.

He was always so good at that-not making her think.

His arms loosened around her. His hands found the curves of her waist and pulled her upright with him. Even that subtle action made her body ache with soreness.

Suddenly he bit at her neck, nipping at her skin possessively while palming her tits under her shirt. She writhed weakly against him, his half-erect cock within her making her go still.

Her eyes shot open, she couldn’t let him get hard again.

His hands suddenly slipped underneath her knees, spreading her thighs apart. Her cheeks grew warm when she felt his gaze on her lower regions over her shoulder.

She swallowed when she saw all the marks and bruises from his hands on her earlier. He always grabbed her so hard. He always did whatever he wanted with her.

He shifted underneath her, his hips slowly pulling his cock out of her. When his cock finally slipped out, a lewd sound filled the car. She watched in horror as streams of his hot cum poured out of her cunt-it felt endless, it didn’t stop pouring out. It didn’t help that his cock was completely erect and shiny from her juices.

“Look at how wet you’ve made my cock, kitten,” his voice was husky against her temple, “You came so hard you were screaming-you screamed my name.”

Her eyes widened when she saw his cock twitch. She instinctively drew her legs together.

He harshly drew her legs apart, “You think anyone else could make you feel like that?”

She trembled when his hold around her thighs tightened. She knew he was bound to leave new marks at the skin there.

He pressed his nose to her temple, “Hm?”

She shivered, simply turning her face aside. She couldn’t find it in herself to speak.

“Answer me.” he whispered in her ear.

She squeezed her eyes shut, merely shaking her head.

“That’s right,” he muttered, “No one but me.”

His hand squeezed her inner thigh, making her jolt, “You’re mine, Ara. Mine.”

He watched a tear unconsciously make its way down her cheek, “I took your first and I’ll keep takin’ you forever.”

She flinched when she felt him deftly lick her cheekbone, catching her tear with his tongue-tasting her.

“You belong to me.”

He held her hand as she stepped out of the car. She silently followed him. She didn’t register anything about their surroundings-simply letting him lead her where he wanted.

She thought she faintly heard the sound of a phone ringing and going to voicemail. He grumbled in annoyance.

Suddenly a door swung open before them. Music blasting through the doors.

She glanced up to see Shoko standing at the door, “Hi snowman.”

“I was calling you.”

Shoko glanced over at her, “This her?”

Ara couldn’t help but sense the smirk in his voice, “Yeah.”

Ara glanced around-finally noticing her surroundings. She was on a vast, wrap-around stone porch. Empty alcohol bottles and burnt out joints were scattered all over the otherwise sparkling ground.

Suddenly Shoko was grabbing her hand, “I don’t know why you’re tellin’ me to dress her up when I can barely dress myself but I’ll have fun with this.”

Ara was dragged through the double doors and led inside the mansion. Ara didn’t the chance to admire the color changing chandelier in the lobby because she was getting pulled up the steps-or rather, dragged. Shoko walked pretty fast.

People were everywhere. She didn’t make eye contact with anyone. She didn’t want to see people from school.

People laughed boisterously-calling out to each other. Wearing shiny outfits. Drinks and joints in hand. They looked so happy, care-free. She felt so out of place.

A few people spoke to Shoko but she simply said a few words and shoo-ed them away. Ara was too zoned out to care.

Suddenly Shoko pushed open a door and led them both inside. It was a bedroom, decorated sparsely but lavishly. Each decoration piece looked as if it were taken from a museum or art studio.

It was quite obviously a girls room, due to the subtle feminine touches within the room despite the color scheme of the room being cream and sage.

“Alright, so…”

Ara stopped scanning the room to meet Shoko’s blank stare. The other girl looked curious but unamused at the same time. They’d seen each other before-in classes and such-but this had to be the most they’ve ever interacted.

Ara knew she was rather close to Gojo and Geto. Rumor also had it that her and Nanami were dating.

“I don’t know if I have clothes your taste or whatever but can you take your shirt off so I can see what I’m working with?”

Ara blinked, “Uh..”

She couldn’t blame the other girl for asking. She was wearing an oversized tee and loose fitting sweats.

Shoko sighed, walking over, “It’s just us girls-“

She easily slipped off Ara’s shirt and froze, “Holy shit.”

Ara grabbed her shirt and pressed it close to her chest-trembling slightly.

Shoko blinked several times before running a hand through her shoulder length hair, “Oh-wow, you and Satoru had a time, didn’t you..”

Shoko shook her head, “I don’t know what girls see in him.”

Ara was too tired to speak-to agree with her and say she saw nothing in him. All words simply felt too useless.

Shoko went to the closet and returned with a garment on a hanger and heels. She handed it to her.

“Put this on. I’ll try to see what we can do about the..” She gestured towards her chest before waving towards the attached bathroom, “I think my Mom might have some extra foundation shades…” she mumbled to herself.

Ara didn’t understand what she meant and was-frankly-too tired to care. Ara walked into the bathroom. She barely looked at the clothes before stripping and putting them on. The heels were strappy kitten heels that wasn't too bad but the dress... the dress fit a little too well.

She glanced in the mirror and stared in shock as she realized the dress was a sleeveless, bodycon minidress that ended mid-thigh. There were also a few patterned, cut-outs shapes that ran down the sides.

Her eyes widened when she saw what made Shoko curse earlier. Her neck was covered in marks-including her collarbones and cleavage. There were even a few bruises strewn along her exposed thighs.

She uncomfortably pulled the dress lower-only to freeze when she saw that it made her tits spill out a bit more at the top.

What the hell is this?

Ara felt naked. She’d never worn anything like this. She felt exposed.

A knock at the bathroom door made her jolt, “Did you put it on?”

Ara glanced down at herself before stuttering out, “Y-yeah.”

Shoko entered, her eyes widening as she gave her a once-over, “Pft. My moms real funny if she thought I’d look like that in that dress.”

Ara’s brows furrowed-unsure of what to make of the comment. Just as she was about to ask for something else to wear, Shoko gently took her hand.

“You have bruises on your wrists too?” she asked, while examining them, “Christ.”

Ara quickly pulled her hand away, trembling slightly, “Do you have something else I can wear.”

Shoko nodded, “Sure, is there anything you want instead of a dress maybe? A crop top? Skirt?”

Ara froze, hesitating. It was stupid.. she knew she was being stupid. Maybe it was because how genuine Shoko appeared when she asked or the calm sincerity in her tone but something about her asking about what she wanted.. It felt like the first time someone actually cared about her opinion-cared about what she wanted.

She choked slightly on her words, “C-can you get me home?”

Shoko blinked, “You want to go home?”

She nodded, “I-“ her voice cracked. What she wanted to say was ‘I can’t do this party. I never wanted to come to this party.’ but instead she started crying. She full on fell to her knees and started to cry-she couldn’t help herself.

“Oh my god,” Shoko gasped, going on her knees as well. “Shit, are you okay?”

Ara couldn’t speak-simply too consumed by sorrow to go on. Her shoulders shook as she continued to cry. She didn’t know how long she cried for but by the time she calmed down Shoko was gone and the bathroom door was closed.

Ara stood up slowly-grasping the counter to steady her wobbly legs.

Suddenly the bathroom door swung opened and Gojo entered. Shoko stood behind him, a concerned expression on her face.

“Ara-“ his words were cut short the second his eyes landed on her. His eyes were wide as he stared at her. His mouth still partly open as if in disbelief. Color swiftly rose to his cheeks.

Shoko shook her head, “Can you get over yourself and help her out already? I think you boned her enough.”

A smirk split across his lips, “It’s never enough.”

“Gross.” Shoko muttered as Gojo sauntered up to her. He ran his hands down her trembling arms. She couldn’t look away from him.

“You look stunning, kitten.” he murmured, giving her another once-over up close.

Stunning didn’t cover it. She looked sexy as hell. She was guaranteed to give every male an erection with one glance… and something about that fact filled him with an uncanny amount of satisfaction.

He cupped her face in his hands, wiping away the tears at the corner of her eyes with his thumb. She was frozen.

He glanced over his shoulder at Shoko, “You gonna watch?”

She narrowed her eyes, “Hell yeah I am. God knows what you'll do in here if I don't."

His smirk reappeared, “You have no faith in me.”

“No one should.” Shoko bit back.

He merely slid his hand into Ara’s. “Let’s go.”

She gripped his hand tight. Her free hand latching onto his arm just as he moved to head out the door with her.

“W-wait, please,” she stuttered out. Panic suddenly rising through her numbness, “I can’t-I can’t—“ do this party. I want to go home.

He looked down to face her, “What's wrong, kitten?” he asked softly.

There was something humorous about that question-especially coming from him. In another life, she might've laughed. Instead her throat tightened up the second they locked eyes.

She casted a quick, side glance Shoko’s way. Shoko seemed to be watching them curiously.

She swallowed hard before glancing up at Gojo, “I..I can’t wear this dress.” her voice ending as a whisper.

There was a moment of silence as he looked at her. His gaze dropped to her feet before raking up her body ever so slowly. She felt as if he were committing everything he saw before him to memory.

When his eyes met hers, he exhaled through his nose-in faint amusement.

"Modest now, are we?" he teased.

The words would've hit her like a bullet once-making her hand itch to slap him-but now it had the impact value of a rock skipping water.

He released her hand to slip his hoodie off in one movement. He tugged it over her, "Happy?"

She stared down at the floor, nodding.

He slid his hand through hers. “Let’s go.”

Ara couldn't meet Shoko’s eyes as he led her out the bathroom. She knew the other girl only meant to help by calling him but she couldn’t help but feel betrayed.

“Wait.” Shoko spoke.

Gojo paused, glancing back towards her. He watched her crossed arms fall before she walked up to Ara. She reached around Ara's nape, pulling out the rest of her hair that'd gotten tucked underneath the hoodie.

Gojo saluted Shoko airily, “I’ll buy you a replacement for the dress.”

Shoko’s eyes widened, “What-“ she shook her head, “I don’t even wanna know.”

She was led through the crowd with Gojo ahead of her. She didn’t have to look up to know people were parting for them. Mainly, him.

Familiar voices of their classmates greeted him as he passed. He never let go of her hand, simply winking or dabbing up whoever he recognized as he walked through. She felt so many eyes on her, she wanted to puke.

She was wearing a hoodie so she knew it wasn’t her insane outfit. It was most definitely the man she was interlocking hands with. She hated how much attention the simple action of hand holding could garner simply because it was him.

The music was so loud, it was almost obnoxious. The smell of weed was everywhere, she felt like she’d inhaled enough second hand smoke to start feeling traces of being high herself. This was truly the last place she wanted to be.

Finally Gojo stopped walking, arriving at the center of the living room where all his friends were gathered.

He sat down on the couch next to Geto, easily tugging Ara down on his lap.

She gasped slightly, grasping Gojo’s shoulder to steady herself. She felt so uncomfortable.

Geto eyed her, his dark eyes going to her hand on Gojo’s shoulder. She immediately dropped her hand.

“I’m back.” he said with a small smile, “Hope I didn’t miss anything too interesting.”

“No,” Geto responded, “We just skipped your turn.”

“He wanted to play for you but that’s fuckin’ cheating. But—who the hell is that?”

She glanced up to see that it was Toji asking the question. The second they made eye contact his eyes widened in recognition.

“My girl,” Gojo responded with a growing smirk before tugging her close to press a light kiss on her cheek. “She can introduce herself.”

She swallowed, meeting Gojo’s gaze uneasily before facing the others seated around them. She recognized them one by one. Geto. Toji. Nanami. Haibara. And-it seemed-Shoko had just joined them as well.

She cleared her throat, “I’m Ara Natsuna.”

“I remember you,” Toji stated, “You were at Nanami’s party that time.”

Nanami grumbled, “Can we not talk about that.”

Toji chuckled, “My bad.”

Haibara’s voice piped up-rather animated, “At least you’re not grounded anymore!”

“I wasn’t grounded.” Nanami retorted flatly.

“Well your Mom basically put you on house arrest so you kinda were.” Haibara responded lightly.

Nanami looked slightly agitated as he slouched back in his seat, “Fuck those cops. They didn’t leave me alone for weeks.”

Shoko stood behind the loveseat Nanami occupied. She leaned against it, “Didn’t they stop questioning you last week?”

“Yeah, finally.”

Ara tensed slightly in Gojo’s lap. She’d completely forgotten Nanami must’ve gotten the brute end of questioning regarding the investigation for Arman and Jaemin's deaths-considering they died in his house.

She glanced at Gojo. His impassive expression turned into something more amused when he caught her gaze. She shivered when he ran a hand down her back.

He glanced at Nanami, “Need my help?��

She could only assume that meant contacting his Dad. His offer only reaffirmed her theory of his father's influence still persisting in law enforcement despite being retired.

“Nah, my lawyers got it.” Nanami muttered, looking rather worn. It seemed the investigation had taken a toll on him.

Ara didn’t miss how Shoko’s hand subtly dropped to Nanami’s shoulder from her perch behind him. She squeezed his shoulder reassuringly before raising her hand to hold her cigarette as she lit it.

“Is no one shocked that Gojo settled down.” Shoko asked.

“Yeah, what’d you do to him, miss smarts.” Toji asked, “You the reason why he hasn’t been hangin’ out as much?”

Gojo chuckled, “That’s bul-“

Haibara snapped his fingers, realizing belatedly, “Oh yeah! I haven’t seen you out the past few weekends-“ his eyes widened, “Woa, that’s unheard of.”

Shoko blew out a puff of smoke, “That’s what I’m saying.”

Suddenly she was being pulled further up Gojo’s lap. His hand on her waist slipped over her lower stomach, pressing her body close to his.

He kissed her neck, “Obviously I had better things to do.”

Ara’s face heated up just as the group broke out in ruckus—Haibara whistled. Nanami rolled his eyes. Shoko threw a red Solo cup at him-causing Geto to laugh.

Nanami looked unamused, “Fuck you.”

Toji was grinning as he shook his head, “This guy thinks he’s different.”

Gojo chuckled as he caught the cup after it bounced off him. He glanced within the cup to check its contents. It was filled a little less than half-way, it was a miracle the drink didn’t spill on him.

“Your drink is still in here.” he exclaimed with an astonished smirk.

“That's the point.” Shoko replied. His smirk widened before he set the drink down on the table before them.

He met Shoko’s narrowed eyes, “I’m obviously joking. I haven’t been out cuz I don’t wanna go without this one-“ he shook Ara slightly in his grasp, “Wouldn’t want her partying without me so.. gotta play fair.” he shrugged.

Ara’s brows furrowed. Am I supposed to appreciate that?

“What a gentleman.” Toji muttered before taking a swig of beer. She couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

Shoko blinked before meeting Ara’s gaze, “I hope this means you're coming out to more parties then?”

She felt Gojo’s nose nudge her temple, suggestively, “Hmm?”

As if I had a choice in coming here.

Ara hesitated-shifting awkwardly in Gojo’s lap, “Um.. I don’t really like partying that much.”

Shoko tilted her head, “Why?”

Ara wasn’t really sure how to respond, “Well, Nanami’s party was my first so..”

“That was your first party?” Haibara questioned, nearly jumping out of his seat.

Toji shook his head, “I knew it.”

Nanami ran a hand over his face before grumbling, “I’d hate partying after that too.”

Ara nodded in response to Haibara’s question.

“But aren’t you a senior?” Haibara pressed, eyes wide in shock.

She nodded.

Haibara stared, his eyes flitting between her and Gojo. Gojo was resting his head on her shoulder, arms wrapped loosely around her.

Haibara blinked, “How did you find her?”

A devious grin split across Gojo’s lips. She felt his arms tighten around her slightly, “I got lucky.” he replied.

Haibara continued to stare at them in disbelief.

Shoko absentmindedly played with the ends of her short, blunt cut hair as she blew out another puff of smoke, “Okay well, to be fair the party was fun before all the.. bullshit, but I guess I can’t really blame you.”

Ara merely nodded. They had no idea what occurred in her house the same night after that party.

“But also-“ Shoko continued, “Not all parties are like that. I promise.”

“I’d kill myself if they were.” Nanami muttered.

Toji chuckled under his breath.

“Did you drink anything yet?” Shoko asked her.

Ara shook her head, “No.”

Shoko raised a brow-her eyes snapping to Gojo, “What kind of boyfriend are you? You didn’t get your girl a drink?”

Gojo raised his head from her shoulder, “I didn’t even get myself one,” he straightened slightly, as if preparing to stand up.

He looked down at her on his lap, “Do you want a drink?”

Shoko waved her hand, “Just stay put. I’ll get her one, you’d probably get her something lame like beer anyway.”

Haibara frowned, “Beer’s lame?”

Nanami responded flatly, “Don’t listen to her.”

Just as Shoko turned to leave Gojo yelled after her, “Get me one too!”

Shoko didn’t turn around as she flipped him off.

Toji picked up his deck of cards from the table, “Can we play now? I got money riding on this.”

Nanami chuckled as he looked at his own cards spread neatly in his hand, “You’re gonna lose, Fushiguro.”

Toji grinned, “Let’s see.”

Gojo reached over to pick up his deck, “Oh shit, nobody told me we had money on this.”

“Winner gets 2K, last person playing the winner pays.” Geto responded.

Ara’s gaze immediately latched onto him. She couldn’t help but take note of how he hadn’t said one word during the group's conversation until now.

He sat hunched over, legs spread on the couch next to Gojo. He wore a simple loose gray tee with black loose-fitted sweats. This had to be the first time she’d seen him in casual clothing-and she couldn’t help but notice that his shoulders looked impeccably broad under his shirt.

She’d never taken him to be the quiet type but she supposed she didn’t truly know him. She couldn’t help but wonder if he knew something..

Gojo grinned subtly, “Let me guess, Fushiguro started the bet.”

“Who else.” Geto replied airily.

She looked down at the cards in front of her as Gojo spread them all in one hand.

“You’re on my team,” he murmured, his cool breath trailing down her neck, “Do you know how to play?”

She shook her head.

He began to explain the rules but in truth she zoned out halfway. Geto suddenly elbowed Gojo, cutting him off mid-explanation.

“Your turn.”

“Jus watch.” Gojo murmured to her before straightening slightly to put a card down on the table.

Suddenly Toji’s hand shot out, “Wait, does your girl want to play?”

“Shut the hell up, scammer, she’s on my team,” Gojo quipped.

She heard Geto faintly snort beside them.

Toji’s darkly handsome grin returned, “Don’t worry I wouldn’t scam your girl. You got that covered.”

The boys continued to banter as they played the card game. Gojo checked in on her here and there but otherwise no one paid her too much mind-which she greatly appreciated. It was nice to zone out to the pounding music and people watch for a while.

“Shit-I’m out.” Gojo tossed his deck of cards down.

Nanami was smiling, “That’s what you get.”

Toji squinted, “Did you even try?”

Just as Gojo shrugged, some guy approached him. Another athlete that she didn’t know the name of. Gojo and Haibara enthusiastically engaged in small talk with him before the guy offered to smoke them up.

Gojo suddenly turned to the rest of them, “Yo, I'm goin out to smoke.”

“I wanna smoke.” Haibara pitched in.

Toji waved his hand dismissively towards Haibara, “Just go. You don’t even play right anyway.”

Haibara sucked his teeth before whining. “I suck at cards, okay? I’m better at chess.”

“Who the fuck plays chess.” Toji replied.

“You’re next.” Nanami spoke to Toji-rather focused.

Haibara tossed his deck of cards on the table with a sigh before standing up.

Gojo faced her in his lap, “You wanna smoke, kitten?”

She met his gaze before shaking her head. She wondered for a second if he would force her.

His light blue eyes softened before he kissed her cheekbone—lightly squeezing her in his arms as he did so.

“ ‘Kay, I’ll be back in a bit.” he said before lifting her off his lap and standing up. He gave her one last wink before walking further into the party with Haibara and the athlete guy flanking his side.

She shifted slightly, occupying less than half of the space Gojo took up on the couch. She usually would feel relieved that Gojo left her alone but-for some reason-she felt more awkward. More aware.

She glanced over at Geto beside her. It was his turn to play and he seemed to be deciding which card to put down. It was taking him longer than she expected.

She pointed at a card in his stack, “That one.”

His brow raised slightly before he picked out that card and put it down, “Thought you didn’t know how to play.” his tone was calm.

It seemed he’d been eavesdropping on her and Gojo’s conversation.

“Satoru explained the rules to me.”

He seemed to pause before replying, “Oh. It didn’t seem like you were paying attention.”

Her brows furrowed slightly. Is that passive aggressiveness in his tone? Or is he simply pointing out the fact? She couldn’t tell.

He was right to assume because she hadn’t been but it wasn’t hard for her to pick up the rules of the game after watching a couple rounds.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times before saying, “I-I wasn’t.” She wasn’t too sure why she admitted that but-for some reason-she didn’t want the conversation to end just yet.

The hard-line of his mouth twitched imperceptibly, “Oh.”

She swallowed uneasily. She watched him play his next move silently. Her eyes flickered upto Toji and Nanami who were locked in on a conversation about the game.

Her gaze returned to Geto as she blurted, “Did Satoru tell you anything.. a-about me?”

She was terrified to say the least. Terrified to confide in him but if he knew anything-something-maybe he could help her—

He blinked before finally looking her straight in the eye, “Like what?”

She stared at him-slightly petrified. She couldn’t gauge him. Does he know or does he not know? She couldn’t tell. She couldn’t risk making an assumption either. Who knew if he was an enabler. He was Gojo’s best friend after all—What if he found Gojo’s behavior acceptable?

The thought made a shiver run down her spine. She sank back on the couch, scooting away from him slightly.

“N-nothing.” she responded faintly.

She wasn’t looking at him, so she was completely oblivious to the way Geto stared at her.

He set down a card before stating, “You’re his girl, of course he talks about you.”

She perked up slightly-not expecting him to respond. Her voice felt hollow to her ears, “Did he.. did he tell you how we started?”

“Like start dating?” he asked.

She nodded.

Before he could respond, Toji elbowed him. “You’re out.”

Geto stared at the cards laid out on the table. He muttered a low curse before setting his deck of cards down.

“It’s all you, Nanami.”

Toji grinned wickedly while Nanami shook his head-looking mildly amused.

Just as Geto turned back to face her, his gaze went to something beside her. Suddenly hands were at her waist and she was getting seated on a familiar lap. Gojo was back.

He was showering her face with kisses. His lips smelled of weed with a tinge of something sweet. She placed her hands on his shoulders, lightly moving him back.

“Satoru.” she chided.

His arms around her tugged her knees between his legs as he pulled her further up his thigh, “Missed my baby.”

She went still when she suddenly felt his hard-on against her leg. Oh no.

He kept touching her. His hand on her back kept her close to him, while his other hand crept up her bare thigh. Her breath hitched, stopping his hand just as he found the end of her mini dress. Her dress kept riding up-uncomfortably so.

She quickly crossed her legs, her gaze flitting up to his-uneasily. “S-satoru.”

He smiled-showing off his perfect teeth and lethally attractive boyish charm. His hand slid up her thigh, squeezing her hip over her dress.

She closed her eyes when he pressed his forehead to hers. She bit her lower lip, turning away slightly. She could still feel his erection pressing into her leg-it seemed even stiffer now.

“Sorry kitten,” he murmured roughly against her temple, “You’re just so soft..”

His hand slid down her hip to her thigh, caressing her bare skin. She felt his fingers slip under her dress and immediately put her hand over his. She didn’t meet his eyes when she smoothly intertwined their fingers together. Please, not here..

He chuckled slightly, squeezing her hand in his before whining, “Let me touch you..”

He began to press light kisses along her jaw and neck. He was being so needy.

She tried not to squirm, only to go still when he began to tug her sweater off.

She quickly hugged herself, “What are you doing?”

“Aren’t you hot?” he asked just as quietly as her-matching her energy-but the subtle curl to his lips betrayed him.

In truth she was. She started feeling hot five minutes into wearing the hoodie but anything was better than her incredibly revealing dress.

Her gaze flitted over to Geto, he was looking at them now. Not just him but Toji and Nanami as well. Geto quickly looked away.

She felt her face heat up with self awareness.

She trembled slightly when she met Gojo’s gaze. His azure eyes twinkled as he tilted his head-silky strands of his platinum hair falling over his forehead as he did so. She swallowed when she realized.. he wasn’t asking. He wanted this-all of this.

His hands went to her hoodie, never breaking eye contact as he helped her out of it. Once the sweater was off, he smiled slightly.

He tucked her hair behind her ear, gently pushing the rest of its length behind her shoulders to reveal her ample, hickey covered cleavage.

She felt eyes on her. She didn’t have to look to know it—it made her heart rate pick up and skin crawl with nerves.

She didn’t want to focus on it-on the attention she was receiving. She knew it would overwhelm her so she kept her eyes glued to Gojo. To his easygoing smile. His familiar ruffled icy hair. His imposing stature that always seemed to be at her side.

He kissed her gently, his arm tugging her closer possessively.

“You look so good, kitten,” he whispered in her ear, “I’m goin’ crazy.”

She didn’t have a choice but to believe his words. Especially with his throbbing erection pressing into her thigh. She didn’t know how he had any stamina left.

“Wish we were in the car.” he muttered.

She tensed-flashbacks flooding her mind. She’d been completely bent to his will—used for his desire, just to get her here. She felt her chest tighten-nearly breaking her out of the numbness.

Suddenly, someone nearby cleared their throat obnoxiously loud. They both glanced up.

Shoko stood with a hand on her hip, a drink and cigarette in her other hand.

She shook the drink, “I got your drink.”

She glanced over at the others, “What’s with you guys?”

Nanami seemed to be staring-very concentratedly-at a random spot on the ground. Geto was flushed.

Toji stammered out, “Erm-we’re playing cards.”

“If playing cards means staring at them making out then, sure.” Shoko rolled her eyes.

Toji sucked his teeth, “Do ya fuckin’ blame me?”

Satoru quipped, “I do. Why were you staring, Fushiguro?”

Toji smirked, “Do you really want me to answer that?”

A devious grin broke across Gojo’s lips, “Answer carefully.”

Shoko sighed, “You guys are so boring. I’m surprised Ara’s ears haven’t melted off from all your bullshit.”

She turned to face Ara, “You’re bored aren’t you? You can chill with me-“

Gojo immediately complained, “Hey-“

Shoko took Ara’s arm and pulled her up to stand beside her, “Shut it, Satoru. She’s not just your eye candy, she deserves to have some fun.”

Ara stared at Shoko, wondering how she talked to Gojo as carelessly as she did. They seemed closer than she expected.

Suddenly a low sigh left Gojo’s lips, he reached out to take Ara’s hand, “I know, I know,” His thumb began to rub comforting circles on the back of her palm, “I jus like her attention that’s all.”

His subtle, boyish grin returned, “Don’t get too wild without me.”

Shoko tugged Ara away from him, “She’ll get as wild as she wants.”

Shoko took her hand then, leading her through the crowd of people. She was kind enough to slow down when she noticed Ara was struggling a bit with her heels. Kitten heels or not, she wasn't used to it

Suddenly Shoko pulled her into an elevator and Ara was too shocked to even gape.

Shoko handed her the drink, “Drink up. I got you a margarita cuz you don’t seem like the hard liquor type.”

“Thanks.” Ara whispered before clearing her throat.

Shoko bent over to take off her heels, “My bad for taking so long, I won’t lie, I completely forgot.”

“That’s fine.” She took a sip from the sugar coated rim of the glass and froze. That’s delicious.

Just as she downed the rest of the drink, Shoko asked, “Are you feeling better now? I know you wanted to go home earlier.”

Ara blinked, a bit shocked that she remembered, “Y-yeah..”

Shoko smiled slightly as she stood upright, the straps of her heels hooked over one finger, “That’s good cuz we’re about to have more fun upstairs.”

Suddenly the doors to the elevator opened and they were in the biggest bedroom Ara had ever seen. The decoration screamed opulence. Everything looked so put together that it felt like she’d walked into an Architectural Digest video.

“Hey! Over here.” Shoko’s voice called out.

Ara turned to see Shoko further into the room, standing before a set of double doors. Faint laughter seemed to come from within.

Shoko waved her over, “C’mon, c’mon.”

Ara hurried over and entered inside. This time she couldn’t help but audibly gasp.

“What.. is this?” she asked while glancing around.

“Oh, I forgot you’ve never been here before. This is my moms closet.”

Closet?! The room was a dozen times the size of her bedroom. The walls had glass panels that showcased the clothes within. Drawers and shelves were also built into the walls. There was an upstairs portion as well-clothes, purses and shoes neatly displayed all over.

In the center-below the mini chandelier-was a carpeted area with cushions and bean bags. A handful of girls were seated, chatting and laughing about.

“Hi guys.” Shoko rushed over, tossing her heels aside as did so. “I brought us a friend.”

“Shoko!” “Where the fuck have you been?” “Finally!” A few of the girls yelled out. One of them jumped on her-which resulted in Shoko and the girl falling onto a cushion. They burst out in laughter.

Suddenly the volume of the music was lowered and Ara belatedly realized that there was a rather huge, flat screen TV mounted to the wall. It currently displayed the lyrics to a song by Ice Spice and Nicki Minaj.

“New friend?” One of the girls piped up.

Ara glanced over to see a familiar student that she couldn’t remember the name of. She might’ve been on the girls track team.

“Oh my god! You’re the girl who was with Gojo.” Another girl added.

Before she could even get the chance to feel anxious about being in a room full of complete strangers, she was dragged to the center cushion and plopped between all the girls.

She was bombarded with questions.

“Are you and Gojo dating or just hooking up?”

“Wait, aren’t you the girl who said you’d never date him?”

“Since when did you guys start dating?”

“Did Gojo buy you that dress?”

Ara downed the rest of her margarita.

“GUYS!” Shoko’s voice suddenly rang out, “Can y’all shut the fuck up for a sec. Let’s drink first.”

Laughter and chatter ensued as Shoko handed out drinks from an ornate serving cart that was placed nearby. Just as Ara was relieved that the attention was off of her, Shoko’s eyes suddenly zoned in on her.

“Wait, wasn’t that margarita your first drink of the night?”

Sounds of shock suddenly erupted in the room.

“What the fuck?” “No way.” “Girlll—“

Suddenly a red-haired girl grabbed the bottle of alcohol from the cart and stood over her. She held the bottle over Ara’s mouth.

“You need to catch up to us.” she demanded.

Ara’s eyes widened. “Um-I-“

The next thing she knew all the girls were chanting. “Chug!” “Chug!” “Chug!”

Ara glanced over to see Shoko was part of the chanting as well.

She didn’t know what came over her. Maybe it was because the day had been so stressful or maybe it was because she just felt so numb. Maybe it was because the margarita tasted good earlier so she thought this drink might taste the same. Whatever it was, in that particular moment she decided—that she just didn’t care anymore.

She opened her mouth and let the girl pour. She didn’t know how much she drank-and didn’t care to know either-but she didn’t pull away until she felt like she couldn’t take it anymore.

The girls' voices and laughter felt louder than usual. They sounded so bright and happy.. it was contagious. She couldn’t help but laugh along when they all hooted and hollered after her, as if she’d done something wonderful.

“Holy shit, I was not expecting that. Don’t fucking die on us later though.” Shoko chuckled.

“Just puke on Gojo.” one of the girls suggested.

Laughter broke out within the room.

“Speaking of Gojo,” Shoko slipped into the space on the cushion across her, “I did have questions about you two-like since when did you guys even talk? No offense or anything, I jus never seen you two out together before.”

Ara shifted in her seat, wanting to avoid the question, “Erm.. I’m not really too sure..” she drifted off.

“Oh come on,” one of the girls complained. “You have to remember when he first talked to you.”

“I do,“ Ara responded, a bit agitated before muttering, “But it doesn’t really count because I ignored him-for a while.”

The girl’s eyebrows skyrocketed, “You ignored him?”

Shoko snorted, “That’s hilarious. How’d he take that?”

“He didn't take it.” Ara mumbled.

Shoko laughed, a bit drunkenly, “Go figure.”

Ara looked at her in confusion, “Has he done that before?”

Shoko blinked, “What-you mean date? No, that’s the thing. He’s never dated anyone. His bitchass once told me he didn’t believe in monogamy so I’m just as surprised to see him dating as you are.”

Ara’s brows furrowed.

Another girl then piped up, “So when did y’all first hook up?”

Ara hesitated-her mouth opening and closing multiple times before unconsciously whispering, “..Nanami’s party..”

The memory of that night flashed to the forefront of her mind, making her wince. That night felt so long ago.. it’d been the start of a beginning she never asked for, all of it happening against her will.

“Forreal?!” Shoko questioned in shock.

One girl whistled. Another elbowed her playfully, “How was it?”

Another girl quipped, “She’s dating him-obviously, it was good as fuck.”

Ara shifted uncomfortably in her seat. It was belatedly starting to hit her that she wasn’t required to answer any of these girls questions-besides the further they pried, the more she would have to withhold. Her and Gojo’s ‘relationship’ wasn’t close to whatever fantasy they thought it was.

Shoko seemed a bit zoned out, “Wow.. he must be really serious about you.”

Ara’s eyes flickered to her, “What do you mean?”

Shoko blinked. “He doesn’t really keep quiet about who he’s been with, but he kept you to himself for a while.”

Ara shook her head, “No-actually I was the one who wanted to keep us private.”

Shoko’s eyes widened, “Really?"

"Why?” someone else asked.

“Because…” she swallowed, before deciding on a half-lie, “I knew everyone would be nosy.”

Shoko laughed, “You’re not wrong. Sorry.”

“Can you blame us.” the girl seated next to Shoko whined.

One of the girls hugged her arm, her voice slurred. “Sorry, Ara. Forgive me?”

Ara finally recognized her. It was Leah Falcone. The girl was also a senior and she was popularly known for her incredible vocal skill. Her mother was also an established opera singer so she assumed that good vocals ran in the family genes.

Ara remembered once asking her for directions to a classroom freshman year and she’d responded with ‘why are you asking me?’

Shoko took another puff from her cigarette, “Alright, no more Gojo talk.” she turned to face the TV, “Who put the music down?”

Once the music was back up, it didn’t take them long to get more drunk. They went from refilling their red solo cups to drinking from champagne flutes, then drinking from a bottle of passed around vodka. Ara had no idea where all of it was appearing from but she'd take it. She felt good—good as shit.

A pillow hit her in the face.

Ara glanced over to see Leah pouting at her, “You’re not paying attention to the fashion show!”

Suddenly Shoko stood up on her cushion, throwing a pillow smack center in Leah’s face, “No one’s paying attention, dumbass!”

Leah tripped on the heels that were obviously too big for her and landed on the carpet-her beret falling off in the process.

She huffed, tossing her Dior bag in the air before crying.

Suddenly the redhead threw a pillow at Shoko, “Look what you did, you made Leah cry.”

“She always cries when she’s drunk,” the blonde-Mina-interjected.

Shoko picked up two pillows-throwing them rather ferociously in the redhead’s direction, “Think fast!”

Then before Ara knew it, she was wrapped up in the most intense pillow fight of all time. She ran cushion to cushion, throwing the fuzzy pillows with the most strength she could muster—nearly peeing herself with laughter when Leah wailed every time she got hit by a pillow.

Mina ducked behind Ara, “Help me!!”

Ara’s eyes widened as Shoko jumped onto the cushion before her, pillow in hand, “Don’t protect that hoe-“

Shoko swung the pillow in Mina’s direction and Ara blocked it with her own pillow.

“Yes, get her! Get her.” Mina hollered from behind her.

Ara flung the pillow-defending Mina like her life depended on it. She somehow managed to smack the pillow with enough force to make Shoko fly backwards onto the cushion-making Ara and Mina crack up.

Ara didn’t know why everything was so hilarious but she truly couldn’t stop laughing. The girls just kept giving her an excuse to—is this what having friends is like?

“Oh fuck you guys. It’s on.” Just as Shoko attempted to stand up, she toppled over again. This time the sound of cloth ripping resounding in the air.

Ara’s eyes widened while Meena gaped. The second the girls made eye contact they doubled over in laughter.

I’ve never seen her laugh like that.

Gojo stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall. She looked beautiful-so carefree-so lively. Her laugh was the prettiest thing he’d ever heard.

He didn’t believe his eyes when he saw her at first-merely coming to check on her since the card game finally ended. He never thought he’d find her… like this.

She was smiling.

Her eyes twinkled as she laughed, carelessly offering her radiant smile to Mina as she did so. The sight of it made his chest tighten with need.

She looked… happy. And she never looked like that with him.

A dark lick of jealousy coursed through his veins as he watched her. She let Mina clutch onto her so easily as they fell back on the cushion in a fit of giggles-not a hint of reluctance on her face.

His cool blue eyes slid over to Mina, to her left hand on Ara’s back—to her right hand clutching Ara’s arm. His jaw tightened. Mina was nice enough but what had she done to earn her touch? What had she done to elicit her pretty smile? Did she really deserve it?

He watched Ara turn to look at Shoko getting lifted off the cushion by Nanami. Despite Shoko playfully kicking her feet around he managed to keep the rip on her dress hidden by wrapping an arm around her torso. He easily held her up, whispering things softly in her ear as he carried her further into the closet.

Suddenly Mina was getting tugged away from her as well. Daniel gently pulled at Mina’s arm to get her attention, only for her to jump into his hold the second he got it. Daniel had entered the closet shortly after he had-probably coming to check on what’s his like himself.

Now it was his turn.

He slowly approached her-reveling in her unawareness as she sat quietly on the cushion by herself. She seemed zoned out.

He stopped right beside her, standing at the edge of the cushion. She was merely an arms length away, all he had to do was reach out and he could quell that thrumming need in his fingers to touch her but she was just so pretty up close-so unaware, so inviting-he wanted to revel in it a moment longer.

Suddenly she glanced up, her eyes widening before she stood up, “Satoru!”

She lay her hand on his abdomen. Heat gathered in his skin underneath her palm.

That’s new. She never touched him first.

His eyes glimmered, “Hey.”

He saw her eyes flicker before tilting her head. She smiled, “Hey.”

His eyes widened, his gaze stuck on her lips. It shouldn’t have affected him as much as it did but it couldn’t be helped. He stared—rendered frozen.

She’s smiling.. at me.

She looked up at him, her smiling widening ever so slightly as she shook her head. Her hand slid up his chest before going on her tiptoes to kiss him.

The kiss was light, a simple peck but he didn’t let it go. She never kissed him first. He didn’t realize how badly he needed her to until now.

The second she drew her face back his hand found her nape, forcefully keeping her lips glued to his. Her lips tasted of champagne-maybe vodka-he didn’t like alcohol too much but her lips made it so sweet.

Maybe the drinks were making her soft on him but he chose to ignore that. He needed to believe that she wanted him because he needed her—he always needed her. She kissed him-him-and that was all that mattered.

He kissed her with such intensity she fell back on the cushion. He stayed atop her, his greedy lips never letting hers go. She gasped-the pretty sound going straight to his cock. He should’ve been satisfied after the car-he should’ve.

But he was never satisfied when it came to her. He always wanted more, more, more—

“Satoru-“ she breathed out, grabbing him by the shoulders to push him back.

He searched her face-repositioning himself so that he was further over her body, “Mmm?”

She jutted her chin in the direction of the door.

He glanced over to see Toji standing in the doorway-staring at them. The rest of the room had been cleared out, all the girls nowhere to be seen except for the redhead-Arden-laying passed out on the fur rug.

Gojo spoke first, “Enjoying the show?”

“Maybe,” Toji grinned, “Was gonna ask if you wanted to go for a drive.”

Before he could decline, Ara straightened slightly-peeking her head out from underneath him, “A drive?”

Toji answered, “Yeah, racing.”

Gojo saw her eyes widen with interest. “You wanna go?” he asked.

She hesitated for a second-her hand on his shoulder sliding down to his tricep gently. She looked up at him, “Can we?”

He nuzzled his face into her neck, effortlessly scooping her up as he stood. Her scent engulfed his senses as she twisted in his arms. She was giggling.

Christ, he wanted to mess her up again bad. She was already too much to bear-but like this, he didn’t think his stamina would ever end.

He smiled down at her, “Of course, kitten.”

I only remembered bits and pieces after that.

Gojo tugged at her hand in his, “Kitten, let me carry you.” he whined.

She continued to clip clop in her heels on the driveway. The others in the group heading to their cars as well.

She walked-a bit wobbly-into Gojo as he tugged her, “No, no,” she chided quietly, her other hand latching onto his forearm to regain her balance.

She looked up at him. His platinum hair and pale face stood out so starkly against the pitch black sky. The stars glimmered and the pounding music sounded faint to her ears.

“I wanna walk to the car.” she insisted with a pout.

He stared down at her, his intricate blue eyes churning with something heavy as he looked her up and down. His eyes lingering a little longer than necessary in some places.

His hand slid around her jaw, tilting her face up as he kissed her cheekbone. She stumbled slightly, leaning against him.

His hand in hers gripped her firmly, his eyes dropping to her feet, “You want me to take them off?”

She glanced down at her heels, “No-no, I’m fine. I promise.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

She stared out the car window, gasping as Gojo pulled the car to a stop.

“It’s so big.” she exclaimed, in reference to the vast empty parking lot.

He’d parked his car near the others. All the cars were parked in one big row, side by side.

“Of course, baby,” he reached over and unbuckled her seat belt, “I’ll have to take you to our racetrack some time. It’s bigger.”

Her eyes widened in astonishment, “Racetrack?”

A sly smile bloomed across his lips, “Yeah, racetrack.”

She sat between Gojo’s long outstretched legs-laughing as he tickled her. He was relentless, one hand gripping her hip while the other tickled her wherever he pleased. There was a wide grin on his lips as she writhed against him.

She couldn’t reign in her giggles, “Toru, stop-“ she whined.

He paused, eyes widening, “Toru?”

“Yo, can ya’ll stop playing around and pay attention.” Toji butted in.

Gojo glanced up from his slouched position. He was leaning against the front of his G-wagon, with Ara resting against him. Her small frame fit all too perfectly against his chest-like a little puzzle piece.

He raised his chin off her head, “Did you decide who’s goin’ first or what?”

Toji stepped away from the little circle of boys to address him, “Yeah, you and me are up first. Then it’s Geto and Haibara, and so on.”

A guy she didn’t recognize piped up, “We don’t got a flag girl.”

“Where’s Shoko?” Geto asked.

“Probably with Nanami.” Haibara answered with a frown, “I couldn’t find both of them before we dipped.”

Toji grinned subtly, tilting his head towards their direction, “Coulda been the same ish for these two if I hadn’t got em’ in time.”

Gojo merely smirked, “I know you wanted to watch.”

Suddenly a flat voice arose, “Can’t she just be flag girl?”

Ara’s eyes widened when she saw who the voice belonged to. He was extremely pale and tall, with dark brown hair that was tied up in two short spiky ponytails. He also had a thick black horizontal line tattoo across his nose and cheeks. She’d never seen anything like it.

She belatedly realized that the ‘she’ he was talking about was her. She was the only girl here.

“Oh yeah!” Gojo poked her in the stomach before hunching over to look at her, “You wanna be flag girl, kitten?”

She looked up at him, “What’s a flag girl?”

His signature smirk returned before he kissed her on the cheek, “All you have to do is wave a flag and look pretty.”

Ara held up the makeshift flag-which was a silk, bubblegum pink Gucci scarf that Toji had lying about it in his car. No one else questioned how the hell he had it but she’d bet her life and kids that it was a woman’s work. (Apparently the actual ‘flag’ they had was kept in Nanami’s car)

Toji sat in a silver, latest model Volkswagen Arteon while Gojo sat in his matte black, Mercedes Benz G-Wagon. One car was obviously bigger in height than the other.

Ara stood ahead of both cars, gesturing with her hands for them to pull up to the line they’d marked on the ground with chalk. Once the cars crept up to the starting line, she waved the scarf in the air.

“Are you ready?!” she hollered.

A couple of the boys standing on the sideline whistled. Toji revved up his engine.

She swung the scarf once more, “Get set..” a subtle smile rested on her lips, anticipation swirling in her gut.

Gojo lowered his windows, a grin on his face as he blew her a kiss.

She waved the scarf in the air, “GO!”

The cars zoomed past her, the gust of wind that followed made her hair ripple in their wake.

She stared at the two cars zooming off around the lot. They were driving side by side—from what she could tell, no one seemed to be going faster than the other just yet. The speed of it all scared her, in a thrilling kind of way.

The cars zipped past her once more. The sound of their high powered engines echoing.

“So loud,” she murmured to herself while readjusting her crossed arms. The gust of wind that followed from their speedy turns was a bit unnerving.

“Gets even louder when Satoru has his McLaren.” A low voice spoke from beside her.

She glanced over to see Geto, leaning against the railing beside her. She didn’t remember seeing him there earlier.

She glanced past him to see the ponytail guy and Haibara standing by the starting line-closely watching the race with their phones out. They were timing each car. Apparently Gojo and Toji had two more rounds around the lot before the winner was declared.

“I bet,” she responded, before looking at him, “Did you drive it?”

He nodded, “Couple times. It runs really smooth.”

She sighed, “It looks smooth.”

“Do you have your license?” he asked.

She shook her head, “No.”

“You should.” he suggested, “Get Satoru to teach you.”

“You think he’d let me practice in his McLaren?”

He smiled a bit, “Probably.”

That hadn’t been the answer she was expecting. She laughed slightly, “No way.”

“He would,” he spoke evenly, “He’d buy you a car if you asked.”

He swooped her up in his arms, twirling her in the air before holding her against his chest.

He nuzzled his nose against hers, “I won, kitten, I won.”

She held onto his shoulders, laughing lightly, “I know, I know.”

His arm underneath her ass squeezed her closer. He looked up at her, “Where’s my kiss?”

She smiled a bit, “You don’t deserve it.” she teased.

His blue eyes blazed with delight, “You don’t think so?” he whined.

She shook her head, her smile widening ever so slightly. Something about his sparkling blue eyes on her made her belly churn with butterflies.

He raised a white brow, “Just one?”

She shook her head again.

He leaned closer, his chin grazing her breasts, “Pleaseee,” he pouted.

She held onto his neck, “Only one.” she emphasized.

A grin lit his features as he nodded-eagerly, “One.”

She cupped the sides of his smooth face, lowering herself to press a short kiss to his lips. Her nerves thrumming wildly underneath her skin wherever they touched.

“Alright, show off. You only won by a second.” Toji grumbled from somewhere in the distance.

She pulled away, staring, as the corner of his lip curled upward handsomely. His blue eyes glittered, with mischief and want and something.. indescribable, but it was tangible in his touch.

He was just so striking—it made her heart ache.

He beamed up at her-speaking in sing-song, “One kiss for the winner.”

Ara swung aside in her seat, her hands clutching the car handle and dashboard.

“Oh my—“ she gasped out as Gojo swerved to the left to cut ahead of ponytail guy-Choso’s-car.

Geto gripped the edge of the passenger and driver seat, hovering in between, “Goddammit Satoru.”

Choso’s car honked several times.

Gojo glanced over, a shameless smile on his lips, “Oops.”

The three of them shared a look before laughing airily.

It was the final race for the last two winners-Gojo and Choso. Instead of completing the last race at the parking lot, they chose to see who drove to Nanami’s house and back the fastest. The group had split into both cars.

Ara glanced out the window, her hair flipping in the wind due to Gojo’s speed. She looked at Choso’s car behind them to see Toji flipping her off through the passenger window.

She drew her head back in, smiling faintly, “They’re flipping us off.”

A smirk split across Gojo’s lips as he kept his eyes glued to the road. His speed picked up.

Ara stood through the sunroof, arms outstretched. Geto held onto her legs to secure her.

She tilted her head back, letting the wind and speed make her hair whip in the air. Her eyes fluttered closed-reveling in the feel of the cool air running across her skin.

She swore she felt the music vibrate within her body as it pounded throughout the car. Of course, it had to be ‘F**ckin' Problems’ by A$AP Rocky playing.

The whoosh of the air speeding past her ears made her feel more present than ever before. She wanted to feel like this forever..

She felt someone lightly tap her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open.

Gojo was before her, a subtle smile on his lips, “Hi, princess.”

She blinked a couple times before realizing she was in the passenger seat of his car. He stood beside her-partly leaning on the open car door, one hand over the roof and the other caressing her cheek.

His blue eyes scanned her face, “How are ya feelin’?”

She reached out and touched his chin-his face-checking if he was real.

“Where am I?” she asked hoarsely.

“Sonic,” he spoke through her fingers, “You want anything?”

Her hand slipped down. She didn’t have enough strength to keep it up.

Her eyes dropped sleepily, “Did you win?”

His eyes widened slightly before smirking, “The race? Of course I did, baby.”

“Good boy.” she mumbled.

He tilted his head, smirk widening, “Yeah?”

She nodded, her eyes half-open.

He licked his lips.

She closed her eyes, his hand stroking her hair all too relaxing. She heard a faint voice somewhere in the distance.

“She okay?” Haibara.

“She’s fine.” Geto’s voice-it was clearer-closer.

“Choso’s asking if yall want anything?”

“Yeah, get me a milkshake.” Gojo-his voice crisp-very near.

“What flavor?”

“Cheesecake.”

She slurped the milkshake silently-zoning out while staring at the bonfire before her. There were voices, many voices but she couldn’t seem to focus on any of them.

Through her peripheral vision she noticed bags of Sonic getting handed around. Empty cups, burnt out joint ends and cigarettes littered the patio floor. Familiar voices talked excitedly—a person jumped into the swimming pool. Laughter followed.

“Can somebody get him?” Shoko. “He’s too drunk.”

“Why don’t you get him?” Toji. “Or did Nanami make it hard for you to walk?”

More laughter. “Shut the hell up.”

“Oh, you finished it?”

She glanced up to see Gojo looking down at her. She was sitting snug against him, in the crook of his arm. Her legs over his lap.

He squeezed her forearm before leaning over to kiss her forehead.

“Shoulda got two.” he murmured.

He cupped her chin, tilting her head up as he bent low to press his lips to hers. His tongue pushed past her lips, sweeping her mouth as he deepened the kiss.

He hummed appreciatively before pulling away. He swiped away a dot of whip cream at the corner of her lip with the tip of his tongue.

His eyes lingered on her lips as he smiled subtly, “Yummy.”

“Look what I found.”

The laughter and noises of approval that followed made her curious enough to glance away from the fire.

Toji held up several nerf guns with a devious grin.

Shoko shot up from her seat, “Did you go into my brother's room, dumbass?”

Her heels echoed against the mahogany wood floor. The moment she spotted Haibara she raised her nerf gun.

He yelped before running to hide behind the couch. Just as he hid, Choso entered the living room.

“Any of y’all see Toji?”

Ara opened her mouth to respond, only to freeze when the sound of an ‘empty’ dart cartridge echoed. She glanced over to see Haibara holding up his nerf gun.

She glared and his eyes widened, “Shit.”

She ran around the couch—attempting to chase him.

He screeched, circling around the couch hastily, “Choso! Choso! Back me up!”

Just as she pointed the nerf gun at his butt, she felt a dart hit her in the cheek. She quickly turned her head to see the culprit—Choso.

Before she could even react, Choso was suddenly getting sprayed with a shit-ton of bullets. Gojo entered the living room—with Geto right at his heels.

“Do you know who the hell you just hit, hmm?” Gojo taunted—a wide grin on his lips as he emptied his clip on Choso while chasing after him.

The boys laughed when they cornered him. The second Gojo’s darts ran out, Geto took over—showering Choso with a second round of bullets.

Choso held his arms out before him, blocking as much of the entourage of darts as he could.

Once Geto emptied his clip, Gojo smiled, “That’s the second L you took today.”

Choso shook his head, grinning faintly, “Oh fuck off. If I had back up your ass woulda been on the floor.”

As the boys bickered, Ara’s attention quickly redirected itself to Haibara’s crawling figure-clearly attempting to slip away.

She smiled a bit when she realized he hadn’t noticed her looking just yet. She silently followed him, balancing her weight on the front of her heels to keep her footsteps quiet.

Haibara’s head turned back amidst crawl-spotting her. His innocent eyes instantly blew wide but before he could get up, she planted her heel right on his ass and shoved him back down.

“Dammit!” he hollered—making her laugh.

She aimed her nerf gun at the back of his head—unleashing all of her bullets on him. She didn’t notice the other boys cracking up.

Toji walked in two seconds before her clip emptied, “Damn,” he paused, “Can I be next?”

Gojo shot him with a dart-coincidentally starting a whole new round.

Ara stared at herself in the elevator mirrors, she couldn’t recognize herself.

Gojo was laughing in the reflection beside her. His hand went over his stomach as he bent over in laughter.

“I-“ he could barely get his words out, “I can’t believe you did that.”

Geto merely shook his head, smiling subtly as he restocked the darts in his nerf gun.

Gojo threw his arm around her shoulders when he straightened, a humorous smile on his glossy lips, “Haibara said you're more of a menace than me.”

Ara looked down at her feet-noticing a bit of dirt on heels as she muttered, “That’s impossible.”

Geto snorted.

She stared up at the sky-her eyes darting from star to star before settling on the moon. It looked so big-so close-she swore she could see its craters from here.

A breeze passed, making strands of her hair slip over her face. The hammock swayed.

His fingertips grazed her cheek, tucking her loose hair behind her ear.

She faced him-only to find him already looking at her.

His hand settled on her throat, thumb grazing her jaw.

The music and voices of the others on the rooftop grew more and more faint the longer she stared into his eyes. They were so blue-multiple shades of it too-all within one pair of eyes.

There was something about them.. that made him look more extraterrestrial than the moon. As if he didn’t belong here.

“Satoru,” her voice inadvertently came out as a whisper.

A light smile tugged at his lips, “Yeah?”

“What.. happened to you?”

He raised a pale brow, “What do you mean?”

She chewed at her bottom lip-speaking slowly in attempt to word her thoughts accurately. It was taking a lot more effort than usual.

“What.. made you.. the way you are?”

He froze-something seemed to flash over his eyes before his jaw locked.

He slowly scanned her face before responding after a moment, “The way I am?”

She nodded, words flowing freely from her tongue, “You’re not normal, you know.” her tone indifferent.

She saw his eyes widen ever so slightly and felt a vivid zip of fear when his fingers around her neck twitched.

“Is that right?”

He pressed his face into her cheek. His fingers tightening around her throat when she tried to turn away.

“Maybe you’re right..” His words made her shiver. She closed her eyes-breathing shakily.

Suddenly he was laughing-full on chuckling beside her ear, “You’re so right.”

He released her neck to twirl a strand of her hair around his finger. He exhaled, “There isn’t a line I wouldn’t cross for you.”

She kept her eyes closed, her heartbeat still raging in her ears, “I w-would never ask you to.”

“You don’t have to ask.”

She felt gravity disappear from underneath her feet. Her eyes fluttered open. The sky was still dark, scattered with twinkling stars. She was in Gojo’s arms.

He looked down at her, “Hi, pretty.”

Her brows furrowed as she blinked sleepily.

“We’re home,” he muttered.

Her eyes flew open, “Your home?”

He paused-appearing to consider her question, “Can we go to my home?”

“No-no-“ panic swirled in her gut despite her drunkenness, “My home, only my home.” she mumbled off.

“Okay, okay,” he shook his head, “Knew you’d say that.”

She grabbed onto something when she felt herself lose balance. She focused to see that she was sitting on the edge of her bed, her hand gripping Gojo’s shoulder.

He was bent on the floor before her, his hands on her leg-unstrapping her heels.

He looked up at her, his turquoise eyes scanning her features, “You’re good, kitten. I got you.” His hand snaked up her thigh to squeeze her hip reassuringly.

Her fingers inadvertently dug into his shoulder, “I’m-I’m good?” she stuttered out, lost.

He nodded, his gaze gentle, “Yeah, baby, you’re good.”

She glanced down at herself, at the expanse of skin she was showing due to her mini dress. The dress barely covered her cunt while sitting. Her eyes widened when she saw the bruises starting to darken along her thighs—she remembered-flashbacks of his hands gripping her body roughly passed through her mind. He’d fucked her so hard-so ruthlessly-in the car before the party. All of it occurring against her will.

She bit her lower lip, trying not to sob, “I’m-I’m not good.” she whispered.

Suddenly his hand was at her face, cupping her cheek, “Yes, you are, sweets. You're such a good girl. The best girl.”

Two large hands were at her tits, squeezing heartily. A soft moan left her lips, her eyes fluttering closed.

Her hands slipped over his as she whined, “Toru..”

“I know, I know,” he groaned lowly into her ear, nuzzling her cheekbone as he caressed her tits more gently this time.

She glanced ahead to see her reflection in the full-length mirror. She was completely naked, her mini-dress a bundle at her feet. He towered behind her, nearly encapsulating her within his lean frame. His firm chest against her back.

He was fully clothed. It was hard to see him completely due to the dim lighting of her closet but she could make out the smooth planes of his features-his sharp jaw, his sculpted cheekbones—the veins running down his arms, his hands as he kneaded her tits.

His crystalline eyes met hers in the mirror, his breath hot as it trailed down her skin with each exhale. Goosebumps rose all over her body.

His hands at her chest tugged her closer-possessively, “You’re so beautiful, Ara..”

She stirred slightly, her eyes opening to see him propped on his elbow on the bed beside her. She felt his hand at her waist, thumb gently stroking her side boob.

Strands of his white hair tickled her forehead as he leaned closer, “Don’t sleep,” he whispered.

He pressed a probing kiss to her lips, “Not yet.”

He kissed her again, this time a little longer. His hand slid down her side, slipping out from underneath her nightgown. He took her hand, guiding her to touch the bulge at his boxers.

His breath hitched the second she made contact. He released her hand for a moment, shifting slightly before taking her hand again. He wrapped her hand around his cock-she swore she felt his cock twitch.

His hand tightened over hers, wanting her to apply pressure but she was only half-awake. He groaned lowly, slowly pumping his cock through her hand.

“Help me.” he spoke raggedly against her temple.

The bed shook and she glanced down to see her nightgown bunched up at her neck. She was laying on her side-a leaky, pink cockhead sliding between her thighs.

Gojo gripped her hip hard—short, desperate grunts leaving him with each harsh press of his hips against her ass. He had a steady pace going.

She was too weak-too sleepy-to move. Merely wriggling her hips when his cockhead glided past her folds. She moaned weakly.

“Sa..toru..” The feeling of his thick, veiny cock sliding between her thighs all too unfamiliar.

His fingers dug into her hip, lifting his head up from her neck to whisper-hoarsely, “I’m close, kitten, m’close.”

Her eyes fluttered open the second she felt a ray of light hit her eyelids. She shifted slightly to check if the curtains had been left open only to stop mid-movement.

Holy shit.

Everything hurt-bad. Her throat felt dry. Her body ached with soreness. And her head-why does it hurt so bad?

She fell back onto the bed, a low moan on the cusp on her lips-only to cut herself off when she noticed who she was lying beside.

She immediately looked over to see Gojo sleeping soundlessly. His eyes were closed, his long light lashes covering his under eyes. His pale face was a mask of relaxation, not an ounce of stress on his features. His white hair was a fluffy mess-facing every which way. His arm was outstretched, she’d been using it as a pillow.

She glanced down to see that he was shirtless. She didn’t want to check under the blanket to see if he was less clothed than that.

She stared at him-letting the bits and pieces of memories from last night come back to her. A rollercoaster of emotions building up within her silently.

She’d let herself loosen up around him. She’d let herself have fun—and it’d been the most fun she’d had in eons. The thought was sickening. Absolutely sick.

How could she have fun with him of all people?

After what he did to her in the car-after everything-she’d been nice to him. Her drunk self had been nice to him. Overly nice, in her opinion—she’d been all over him.

She wanted to puke. Why did I drink?

She shot up out of the bed, her hand going over her stomach as she breathed heavily.

She felt the bed shift beside her and froze. She didn’t have to look to know he just sat up in bed.

She flinched when he stroked her back, “You okay, kitten?” his voice was deep-slightly raspy from sleep, “Gotta vomit?”

He took one look at her face and immediately scrambled to grab the bucket he’d set on the floor last night. The second he placed the bucket before her, everything from last night poured out of her.

She held the bucket like her life depended on it-despite Gojo having a hand on it as well. Her stomach lurched as she heaved multiple times. His hands slipped around her hair, holding it back as she bent over the bucket once more.

She heaved one last time and nothing came out. Her stomach was finally empty. She pushed at the bucket slightly–signaling she was done.

“You done?” he asked anyway, voice gentle.

She nodded, too weak to do anything else.

He cautiously moved the bucket away from her and handed her a roll of paper towels that was somehow on her nightstand. She couldn’t help but notice how prepared he seemed.

She wiped her face, watching silently as he grabbed the bucket and headed towards the bathroom without complaint. The second he disappeared from view a storm of emotions brewed within her.

Her hands trembled as she started to cry. Her body wracked with the force of her sobs. She covered her face with her hands, attempting to quiet herself but she couldn’t stop. Tears kept flowing down her face.

“Ara, Ara,” his voice felt distant to her ears, “Kitten..”

She felt hands come to her sides, enveloping her gently. She didn’t have the strength to push him away, instead she sagged against him—letting herself use him this once-just this once.

If he was surprised he didn’t show it.

She hated the inexplicable sense of comfort she felt in his presence. She wished it didn’t exist but it was there—he was always there.

She was a hypocrite-she knew she was but she was tired. oh, so tired. She wished there was someone else—someone else she could rely on. Someone who didn’t use her. But there was no one. No one but him.

Why did it have to be like this?

His fingers sifted through her hair gently, merely letting her sob in silence. Her body felt so frail against him like this, her small hands trembling as she held onto him. He drew her closer.

He didn’t bother asking why, he knew she’d never answer. She never answered in the past.

He knew she cried on her own time. Her puffy under eyes always gave it away-but she liked to pretend she was fine near him. He indulged her.

He wanted her to come to him on her own. He'd wait.

But this-he peered down at her-this was progress. She never let herself cry in front of him before. The few times he caught her, she immediately wiped her tears and gathered herself.

But this, this was different. She was clutching him so tight, sobbing so weakly—she needed him. She needed him to comfort her.

And he’d give her just that. He'd give her anything she asked.

All she needed to do was one thing… just one.

She needed to accept she was his.

The last thing she felt was his lips pressing her forehead when she went limp—succumbing to the emptiness of sleep.

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