#I kinda think it's because like. I am conscious of how I benefit from colorism and living in an area where I'm not confronted with overt

[trans-leek-cookie]

i don't wanna downplay how lucky I am wrt to racism (even tho I look Asian I'm fairly pale and live in a fairly liberal area so I rarely if ever deal with real life racism) but like. Sometimes sinophobia really fucks me up. And I'm not even a real target most of the time (a lot of it is racism AND xenophobia bc it's directed toward Chinese ppl In China, plus. Half white) but god sometimes it just knocks the wind out of me

[shoichee]

Hey luv! I just got my braces off and I don’t know if I like myself with or without them cause yah girl has ✨confidence issues✨ so can you do the GoM + Kagami and Teppei thanks my savior

OH, rn i have braces too (although they’re ceramic and harder to see) but I definitely can understand the apprehension when you have them taken off after for so long;; 

the amount of characters requested actually exceed the rules, but since i’ve taken a while to get to your request, i’ll still do them but they will be shorter^^ THANK YOU FOR STICKING BY THIS BLOG AND READING MY STUFF <3

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

right away, he notices that something was amiss with you, and asks upfront if anything was bothering you

you replied hesitantly, but while you talked you held up a hand in front of your mouth:

“Um… I don’t know if I like how I look right now…”

Kuroko stares at your nervous eyes and then looks down to your hand in front of your mouth before asking why

“Just got my braces off, and I feel a bit… weird without them? I feel like I look strange without them…”

“Do you mind if I see you?” he asks, softening his eyes at you

“W-Well… you’re not someone to judge, I know, but don’t… laugh or anything.”

“I won’t, (y/n)-san.”

he slowly brings your hand down and you slowly smile to reveal your teeth to him, and he gives you the purest smile… and that catches you off guard so badly like… YOUR TEETH GOT HIM TO SMILE LIKE THAT??? DAMN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SMILE EVERY SECOND TO SEE SUCH A TREASURE—

“(y/n)-san, I think you look wonderful,” he muses, bringing your same hand that was in front of your mouth into his own hand with a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure everyone who sees you will think the same.”

ah Kuroko, the individual who has a knack in comforting people with his genuity (example: see Momoi)

whenever you do have those moments of self-consciousness again, he’s always there to calmly reassure you otherwise

Kise Ryouta

IMMEDIATELY sees your teeth when you talk, and freaks out like a little kid on Christmas

“(y/n)-cchi! (y/n)-cchi!!” he hoots around, pointing at his own teeth. “You got your braces off today! You look amazing!”

when you hesitate and tell him that you’re not so sure about yourself without your braces, he pinches your cheek and gives a little dramatic huff

“But (y/n)-cchi…! Come onnnn, trust me!” he says, giving a signature pout, and you laugh at his antics

“Ohhh, do that again! Do that again!” (he craves for your laughs, and he wants more)

he definitely tries to get you to smile and laugh to get you more comfortable with your braceless teeth

whether you have braces or not, he doesn’t mind so much because what he really cares about is your smile, and if he sees your teeth showing, braces or without, it means that he knows he’s doing a good job in making you comfortable and happy

while he showers you in praises every single moment, when you feel really down, he takes an extra measure or two to cuddle you gently while being much softer in delivering those compliments

always gives a daily compliment to give you a serotonin boost

Midorima Shintarou

he’s confused… why would you be upset that you got your braces off? you looked great before and even now, so does the fact of braces really change your perception of your appearance that much?

he won’t make any comment on your new appearance unless you bring it up to him and ask for his opinion/reassurance

he’s just happy for you that you have another milestone of your life, and not to mention, braces generally promote better oral health and fix misaligned bites

“Hm? What do I think of how you look? D-Don’t be ridiculous… What am I supposed to say?”

“Well, I just… think I look a little odd… I kind of… want my braces back.”

“You know you can’t do that, nanodayo,” he sighs. “So much money, effort, and care were invested into your teeth for many years. You did the most you could to take care of them and achieved the goal you set out for yourself when you first got braces, correct? That isn’t something to be ashamed of, nanodayo.”

despite his lecturing, his words do have some merit, and Midorima’s words were comforting in his own way

“But Midorima, um… sorry for annoying you,” you say, giving a chagrined smile

Midorima takes a good look at your exposed teeth for the first time and widens his eyes in a fluster before turning his eyes back to his astrology book

“I-I-It’s nothing.”

bonus: he’s definitely that one fussy parent who forces you to wear your retainers religiously, NO EXCUSES—he doesn’t want the whole process to be all for naught just because you got lazy in wearing a simple metal thing

Aomine Daiki

idiot #1

“Whoa, your teeth look different,” is something he would say tactlessly

immediately, you slapped your hands over your mouth at his words

forgive him, he usually says what’s on his mind with no filter and consideration

by then, he’d realized that the tone of his words was poorly delivered and would try to correct himself before he says anything more to dig himself a deeper grave

“Er, sorry, what I mean is… I didn’t know you were gonna have them off today…”

that actually made you more self-conscious and you try to flee from the scene

“W-Wait, hey!”

insert Aomine clumsily explaining that he didn’t mean to be tactless with his words and that he just meant that he was surprised in a good way

definitely shows you a lot more wholesome affection in addition to his usual PDA, but you wonder what he thought about your new “appearance,” so to speak

“What kinda question is that?” he scoffs. “You’re still hot and always will be.”

if there’s one sure benefit to his blunt words, it’s that his straightforwardness can easily dispel all your doubts and clear up any misunderstandings in one go

if you’re still doubtful about yourself, he’ll gladly resort to action to prove his point… perhaps makeout sessions with him would become a lot more exploratory and… just putting it out there, but we will leave this up to your imagination

anywho, he’s not afraid to give you more direct kisses to try to show you that he doesn’t care about your teeth and your lack of braces

definitely would tell out-of-pocket jokes and laugh more to get you to grow comfortable; after all, smiling is contagious right? who can resist Aomine’s smile???

if someone tried to make you uncomfortable by drawing everyone’s attention nearby in how you got your braces off, whether intentional or not, he’s scaring them away, no questions asked and he’s taking you away from the scene

Murasakibara Atsushi

“Oh…” he says with his usual drawl. “You got them off, Chibi-chin?”

it was a usual day with him tucking his own head into his arms to nap on the table when you walked up to him apprehensively, and he immediately notices your presence but lazily picks up his head to look at you when he noticed

“Er… yeah…”

he slightly tilts his head to the side like an inquisitive child to silently question what was wrong

“It’s nothing really! Just feeling tired… not in the talkative mood today.” as you said this, he noticed that you were more… tight-lipped, speaking in a quieter manner as if you were trying not to show your teeth as much as possible

he beckons a languid hand over and you reluctantly sit by his side, your face still slightly turned away

you thought he was just going to go back to sleep like he always does, but imagine your surprise when he easily picks you up from the side and placed you on his lap, face-to-face

Murasakibara then pulls your cheeks apart, revealing your pearly whites to him

“H-H-Hey!! Lert… gorw!”

“Don’t wanna.”

“I’m… serwious!”

he stares at you impassively for a few moments before he suddenly lets your cheeks go and yawns

“... you look fine, Chibi-chin,” he mumbles, and he sets you off his lap before getting up with a stretch. “Besides, now that you don’t have braces anymore, you can finally eat whatever you want right…?”

“I… guess I can…”

and he’s already reaching for your hand to tug you to the nearest takeout with a slight shine of excitement in his dark pupils

“Chibi-chin, we can finally eat those candy apples together you’ve always craved for, lots and lots…”

he’s very fixated on you eating with your braceless teeth for the next few weeks with a small smile on his face, because you enjoying the food you eat are some of the simplest joys he loves when he’s with you (and you hadn’t been able to do that because your braces forbidden you from eating a list of things)

definitely drags you out for food outings a lot more for the next few weeks

he tries his best in trying to make you not think about your teeth and your self-consciousness about them in his roundabout way (note: see his cheek pulling, distracting you with your favorite snacks, etc.)

he’s not someone to make any deal out of it because worrying over such a trivial thing is annoying to him, but nonetheless he certainly wants to make sure that nothing is bothering you because that’s the greatest inconvenience (since he doesn’t like to see you in such a state)… you being upset and worried makes him upset and worried, after all

Akashi Seijuro

he immediately understands that feeling of self-doubt/self-consciousness, but nonetheless he compliments you to let you know that he truly finds you desirable/beautiful inside and out

still, words alone sometimes don’t convince you and even when he gives physical affection to comfort you, there’s still that nagging feeling of how you felt about your teeth

and he’s totally okay with that, and he knows that feeling very well himself (regarding having inner voices that taunt him)

rather than constantly hammering in compliments because he knows that at some point they’d feel more disingenuous the more he says them, he offers you to help overcome the self-consciousness on your own terms

Akashi offers the suggestion of wearing face masks (not necessarily the surgical ones, but the cute/plain colored masks you’d see around!) if you have certain days where you feel low about your braceless teeth

he’d be quite sly and teasing all the while; whenever you wear your cute mask for the day, he’d be a lot more affectionate with the PDA and give pecks on your lips… but the mask is always in the way, preventing you from feeling actual contact with his own lips

he can tell you’d definitely get pouty when you don’t really feel those kisses and he simply laughs and walks on

“You…! I know you only try to kiss me when I have the mask on! Don’t play dumb with me!”

“Hm? Is it really a crime for me to show physical affection to the person I love?”

he eventually does help you coax you out and become comfortable, and your face masks would eventually be stored away in a drawer

he rewards you for being strong in overcoming your own doubts:

“To celebrate your strength in overcoming a huge milestone, what would you like your reward to be?”

“For starters, give me back all those kisses you tried to give me throughout all the times I wore a mask!”

“Of course,” he chuckles, moving closer to your lips. “How could I ever resist you when you’re this stunning?”

Kagami Taiga

idiot #2 (see idiot #1)

unlike idiot #1, idiot #2 doesn’t notice the change on your teeth, at all

he doesn’t know why you’re fidgeting around or acting really, really strange… were you hungry? upset at him for something he didn’t realize he did wrong?

so after a few days after you got your braces off, he finally asks:

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”

poor guy doesn’t know if he was at fault or if he was missing something, and he physically holds his head to try to recall EVERYTHING for the past week

you reassure him that it wasn’t anything like that, but you still had furrowed brows and you were very careful in how you were talking

Kagami thinks you haven’t eaten and offers to make dinner, but eating in front of him for some reason really didn’t sound like a good idea to you so you declined

you’ll eventually tell him that you just felt a bit self-conscious after your braces got taken off

“Huh?”

he stares at your teeth for a very long time, and you immediately regret it, not wanting to draw his attention to you like that

he snaps out of his intense daze and immediately apologizes for making you uncomfortable

“M-My bad… I just didn’t notice until you told me.”

“Really?” you ask, slightly relieved that the change wasn’t as drastic as you thought it would be

“Er, yeah…” he mumbles, scratching his cheek, “you look good, by the way…” but by the time he finished his compliment, it came out as a cough

you can only laugh in relief, knowing that everything he says is always earnest and sincere

Kiyoshi Teppei

definitely noticed that your braces were off, but pretends to not notice until you bring it up yourself because he’s quite sharp and in tune with other people’s emotions

so he treats you like he always does, being the sweet “airhead” that he is, and he waits until you bring it up yourself (because he knows how self-conscious you were about your lack of braces)

you yourself are confused… like… was Teppei actually dense? was your whole inner dilemma not a big deal like your mind thought it would be?

you tug on his sleeve one day and ask him if he noticed your teeth, pointing to them all the while

and he immediately chastises himself (“silly me”) for not noticing, and he tells you that you were beautiful either way, and whether you had braces or not didn’t change that inherent fact (and that was his “reason” for not noticing to reassure you)

all while giving his easy going chuckles and ruffling your hair

laughs at your shyness at his words, not because it’s funny or anything but he truly finds you adorable

once you get comfortable without giving a second thought about your braces gone, he just drops the truth bomb on you so casually like:

“Ahhhh (y/n)-san,” he sighs in nostalgia. “You were really cute when you were so shy about getting them off, you know that?”

“Now wait a second…”

“Hm?”

“What did you say?”

“That you’re really cute.”

“No, no, the other part.”

“Whenever you get shy.”

“That is not what I mean and you know that—”

“Aww, you’re being really cute right now, (y/n)-san. Don’t tempt me to carry you around when I just finished with my physical therapy.”

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Matchup ♥

16✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

hey hey heyy! might i request a male haikyuu!!, demon slayer, and free!

 matchup? i’m a 5"4’ female with short dark brown hair (goes a little past my ears) and dark brown eyes. i have tan skin and i’m sort of lanky/thin. i tend to be really energetic and loud but can calm down and be mature when the situation calls for it. my mbti is enfj, my hogwarts house is gryffindor and i’m a leo. a few positive traits about me would be that i’m supportive, understanding, and an ‘energy bomb’ (according to my friends). a few negative traits baout me would be that i’m clingy, can be moody and i expect too much. a few hobbies of mine are baking, singing, roller blading, and acting like im high on sugar. i’ve been told that i’m innocent and kinda awkward at times. i’m like a happy pill and usually am good at cheering people up and making them feel comfortable. i think i can get along with anyone and i have tons of motivation. i hate stepping down from challenges and if i make a promise, ill stick through with it no matter what :D. my love language is small actions and physical affection. i love hugs and cuddles but i also like small things like notes/letters. in a significant other, i usually look for comfort, energy, and support or anyone who will put up with my mood swings and understand me no matter what ig. tysm for reading this and i hope you have a great day/night!!<33

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Hello and thank you so much for requesting with us! I am so uber sorry this got out so late, but I do hope you enjoy this!

>Admin 𝕋

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽...

I am going to preface this by saying, I have made a pattern for you. I feel these three guys will fit the best and I realized they have a bit in common (mostly the color scheme, but anyway! For Haikyuu I chose Hinata! I feel that Hinatra would be the best fir because he is just as energetic and loud as you are; you two would probably feed off each other’s energy! If you being a little negative and hard on yourself, I feel that Hinata would be the best at getting you to be positive and seeing the best in yourself and the thing around you!

He would love the fact that you are clingy, because he would be just as clingy as you! Like, he would love how you just wanna always be near him, always wanting to touch him and tings of that nature! He thrives off of it, really! he is definitely someone who loves physical affection, so make sure that you are ready for all of his hugs and kisses!

All in all, Hinata would be a great person for you! He is bright and bubbly, and be someone who would love you unconditionally! And once he has you wrapped in his arms, you will get him to let go, ever! I feel that you and him will go far and go forever in love and happiness!

Nagisa is next on the list! He has just as bright and bubbly as hinata is, but just a little bit more mature, so I feel that Nagisa would be the perfect for you in the free! universe! He would love the fact that you are perfect hugging height for him! He loves physical contact, so beware that will hug you constantly!  He will also really love the fact that you bake! Nagisa is definitely the type to always want to eat something sweet, so if you were to give hi something delicious and sweet, just know that you will get his heart right in the palm of your hands!

As for you rother hobbies, he will enthusiastically learn roller blading for you, and if you were to tell him you want him to teach you how to swim, he will feel his chest go tight and a big smile will fall on his face. He will tug you to the nearest get started on teaching you right away! 

One ting you and him have in common is that you both happy pills that want to make sure the people around you are happy and having a good time! He helps comfort people when they are having a tough time and you do the same ting, so I feel that the both of you can rely on each other to make you are both happy! He will comfort you as you will comfort him! It would be so cute! 

He will notice that fact you love love letters, so I can definitely see Nagisa giving you cute little love letters to you everyday and putting them in your purse, so you know just how much he loves you!

All in all, Nagisa would be the perfect match for you! he would be attentive, kind and all around nice to you, make sure that you are comfortable and happy, because that is what matters to him the most, is that you are happy! You both would so cute together!!!

Okay so, Zenitsu is a little different than the other. He isn’t as happy nor positive, in fact he is quite negative and very self conscious about himself. But that is where you come in! I feel that Zenitsu would really feel happy with someone who can combat his negativity, someone who is always energetic and straightforward. Someone who is ready to fight the world everyday! It would really benefit him, and with how pretty you are, mixed in with the fact that you want to make everyone happy! Man, Zenitsu would not be able to keep his eyes off of you! He will fall instantly in love!

He will also love the fact that you cook and bake and have all these liitle hobbies that make you happy! He will want to watch you to do the things you love because he loves seeing you so excited and happy! Another thing is that if you were to try to be affectionate with him, with physical contact and such, you will have to prepare for him fainting or squealing a lot, because he isn’t used to being so close to someone he loves a lot. He also is just very shy in the fact that if you were to kiss him, he will literally melt right there. Who knows if he will ever wake up from la la land. He will love that you are clinging, so there will definitely be no issues there!

All in all, I fee that Zenitsu will be perfect for you, and especially for him! You will make him feel comfortable and stable and happy! Something he needs so very desperately! He will love watching you do the things you love and the things that make you happy! And at all costs, he will protect from all the things that make you sad and feel bad about yourself. Just as you make him happy, he will do everything in his power to make sure that you are just as happy as he is!

[bigskydreaming]

Continuing on that observation because I forgot to add this part, as a gen z I'm glad you understand that we or young people don't invent new ways to be evil, but it's not completely true. You aren't seeing new forms of online abuse in every platform, I doubt second hand information is going into details as well. Also the fact that you are a white man, there are things being said and done to poc in various online communities that I don't expect you to be privy to. Harassing fans of color and poc media has become a lot more common and normalized which parts of the fandom at large will never see. I don't know if anon did all of the thinking before saying "gen z bad" but they're not completely wrong looking at the kind of mass bullying behavior literal kids are exhibiting. They are learning from or being encouraged by older people but that shouldn't take the focus away from them to blame only the older people.

And my ask regarding Barbara, you assumed I hadn't thought about if my disdain for the character could have come from ableism. I had tho, granted you couldn't have known that and it was surely a possibility, so I'm not saying I'm mad about it, I was at that time a little bit. But you could perhaps give your anons a little more credit sometimes. Sometimes people know what they're talking about, you don't need to explain other possibilities to them each time.

Once again, sorry if this came off as very rude I just needed to share that observation and among many other instances these two were really highlights and kept bothering me. My issue with Barbara goes in a different direction than anything to do with her appearance and I've personally faced online abuse from people younger than me in ways that technologically, even politically, wasn't possible or as easy a few years ago, so you can maybe see why...

Please keep in mind that whatever context you have for yourself or your ask when you come into my inbox on anon......I have none of that. You have an awareness of yourself relative to whatever you asked me. I literally only know an anon by the words they put into my inbox and nothing else.

Also please keep in mind that every anon I answer, I do so in the larger context of my own interactions with tumblr overall. I have a lot of precedent with things I say being taken out of context, misrepresented or even just me not conveying myself as well as I like.

So the combination of those two things is that a) I literally just don't KNOW what any anon does or doesn't know and b) If I'm going to answer an anon, I tend to want to answer as fully and clearly as possible.

I can understand it coming across as being talked down to, so I'll work on that, but I would ask people to remember the above and keep that in context too when weighing my responses.....am I actually being condescending in every case, or does it simply feel that way because I'm including stuff you already know in my response? And if its the latter, is THAT something I COULD know about you without knowing who you are or you as a person and not just a paragraph sent in anonymously?

I'd rather be safe than sorry, and so from my POV since there's no harm in somebody seeing someone cover information they already know as PART of their overall answer or response, like, there's no reason for me not to include whatever I think is relevant and just expect readers to decide for themselves what about my response, if anything, is helpful, and like....just ignore the rest, y'know?

Also, just for the record, I am ADHD and I save my medication for when I'm working or writing or have stuff I absolutely need to get done, which doesn't include my usual blogging. So I'm usually posting while not on my ADHD meds at all, hence the rambling tendencies and the length. Another aspect of ADHD that doesn't get talked about much ime is we tend to over-explain, part out of just excitement/interest in whatever it is that has our attention, and also in part because we're used to people not necessarily following the leaps our minds take when jumping around rather than proceeding in an orderly thought pattern.....so, part of why I break things down so incrementally is I literally just don't know where my way of looking at things diverges from the way neurotypical thinking views things, so I want to draw as detailed a map as possible in order to ensure the most people possible can follow my thought process, just in case.

(And again see, this is something you might already know, and hell, you could have ADHD yourself, I just literally have no way of knowing that so rather than just mention it and be like "oh and also I have ADHD and so that's something to keep in mind" I'd rather explain WHY I feel that's particularly relevant to your question, since I'm kinda like, why not answer as fully as I have the spoons for? People can stop reading at any time if I go on too long. Its fine).

As for the specific asks you're referencing - my response to the gen z anon was not meant to convey that the sort of things you're describing don't occur among gen z, so sorry for giving that impression. Its actually the opposite of my point, which was simply that I don't think its a generational thing, or that anything is gained by treating it as a generational thing. This kind of behavior exists in gen z, yes, but it also existed before gen z. Its not gen z SPECIFIC, or limited to just that generation. That's all.

And the other ask, the one you made about Barbara - to be honest, I don't have anyway of knowing for sure which one you meant, and there are a couple it could have been, but if its the one I THINK you're referencing, I believe you asked how to stop people from assuming you dislike Barbara for reasons rooted in ableism when its because of other things? If that's the one, then I mean, the thing is....I DID answer your question, in as much as anyone could. I addressed the perceptions other people might have of your stance there, but basically - there IS no way to ever ensure people take you at your word or any kind of guarantee you can present your POV in a way that won't be misrepresented or misunderstood. So ultimately, I just had no real useful advice for that?

And so I expanded into the only thing I think anyone CAN control, aka their own thoughts and words, and suggested that you just double check to be sure of your own possible biases that others might read into your words without you being aware you were putting them in there. That wasn't meant as an insult or to suggest you hadn't already examined yourself for possible ableism - it was simply saying it never hurts to check again, y'know? We don't always catch everything every time we do a self-review, and internal biases are inherently tricky to pick up on ourselves. And it just loops back into the fact that I really had no way to know what you had and hadn't already considered, you're essentially a blank cipher to me....and in my experience, a lot of people are a lot more ableist than they realize.

And this isn't an insult either! It applies to me and I'M physically disabled! I'm constantly to this day unpacking new realizations about how I still have more ableist views and opinions than even I realize, even after about five years of living with chronic pain, vertigo, nerve issues and associated problems stemming from only half a working mouth lol. I'm not trying to insult people by asking them to just do what I do every day and just like....make sure I'm not the problem when other people have a problem with me. Because sometimes, even after reflecting as fully and genuinely as I can, I think they're still wrong! I don't have to agree with their conclusions! But that doesn't mean that they're never right.

And for the record, I do think its still worth examining on your end, because I don't love that you said your issues with Barbara have nothing to do with her appearance, when we're talking about ableism specifically. It very well could be just a poor word choice on your part and not a reflection of your actual views, but it could also be a suggestion that you tend to think of physical disability as something that's limited to there being a visual sign of, and there's a lot of invisible symptoms and changes to the ways a disabled person interacts with society and society with them that don't alter a disabled person's appearance in anyway...and many of these things are the exact stuff a lot of unacknowledged ableism revolves around.

So I'd like to give you and other anons more credit and the benefit of the doubt and assume you know what you're talking about and don't need things broken down as much as I tend to break them down to - but keep in mind I don't OWE you that, and its a lot to ask someone to take you on faith when you've already made the conscious choice to present yourself to them anonymously, and deliberately limit how much a person even CAN know about you before answering, when you have an equal opportunity to present yourself by name, allowing someone the full context afforded by your blog, that they can use to familiarize themselves with you and what you likely do or don't know before answering. I don't think its entirely reasonable to anonymize YOURSELF and then expect people to still give you the benefit of the doubt.

Especially when not giving you the benefit of the doubt only really results in me over-explaining something you don't think you need explained in certain ways or in as much depth. Its not hurting anyone, and you're not going to be the only one reading this response and maybe that over-explanation ISN'T something other people know and it could still be of use to someone else, y'know?

But lastly, please keep in mind that you came to me, and I just answered in the way that made the most sense to me. If that didn't work for you or wasn't what you're looking for, that's fine, but like. You knew way more about me going into this interaction than I could possibly know about you, and assuming good faith of you and your interest in my response and giving you as much of a response as I did in the first place, let alone now, IS giving you the benefit of the doubt in the sense that I'm assuming you can find some way in which these responses are of use to you.

And if not, like....just don't send me more asks? LOL. I kinda feel like you just didn't expect the answer you got, and that's sitting weirdly with you. Which I get, to be honest, but I don't particularly think that's a me problem, because that has nothing to do with anything I can control.

I can only give the answer that occurs to me when I read and think about an ask. I can't guarantee it'll ever be the answer the asker actually WANTS.

[clandestine-j]

Gossip Girl Reboot, Ep. 2 Reaction / Review

This was posted on reddit first, crossing posting it here since I’ve chosen to review the ep’s and post on tumblr as well. So, this post is geared more towards reddit as a whole, this was posted a day after ep 2 aired.

i don't have a favorite character rating but #teamaki, yeah, the acting is awkward but it's getting better and it's not like it's the only bad acting in the show. i like the character either way.

now

people are so extra with zoya and obie and are looking at julien with the rose colored classes. yeah, obie shouldn't be dating zoya but let's not act like julien gave her all and everything to him. from the conversation with zoya in ep 1, his general feelings, audrey calls it out (maybe because she always feels that way)

She admits it at the end, she wouldn’t do the things he wanted when it came to his interest, he’d want to do random and fun things and she’d blow him off...how is this mart of someone fully invested in their other, no, she was invested what he did for her and how he made her feel. She misses him because in their other breaks he’d always come back. We saw a dying relationship and ppl can assume a lot about him but make 0 assumptions when it comes to her.

And then y’all expect Zoya to turn down the one person who’s actually nice, doesn’t ice her out and shares interest? What I want more than anything is for Zoya to find her own friends & her romantic interest, just one episode where her life isn’t an extension of Julien's. Idk wut, maybe she can go off on a find out gossip girl adventure. Idk something.

Then this talk about sisters and sister hood. Yeah, they’re blood related but what sisterhood is there? You say that’s is wrong for Zoya to do that to her sister but what about what her sister did to her? Even in this ep, she wants Obie so instead of idk driving Zoya away from him, she attacks her lil ‘sis’ over her long time boyfriend. She continues to let her friends talk bad about the girl. We can talk sister hood when she gives the mean team a good “learn me or leave me” when it comes to Zoya

At the of ep 1 Zoya says, she’s not playing the game. She’s grounded in fear of losing her scholarship, has already lost her dads trust. So she does that, she keeps her head down and doesn’t bother anyone but it’s the mean team to prompt Julien to after Zoya and she does. She’s minding her business at the even and Julien is the one to storm over and cause a scene. And it’s all about her, she’s scared of her dad finding out without any care that Zoya has lost and what she has left to lose. Of course she doesn’t care about Julien personal problems? When did Julien care really about hers? Then, she wants to sneak away and have fun and because she’s mad Zoya won’t run off and hide like a hood little girl, she once again collabs with GG, brings in the dads and fucks her sisters life up, AGAIN. Yeah, she changed her mind at the end but too little too late. Her come to jesus moment was great but the relationship she wanted/wants it very much damaged.

So yeah, Zoya dating the one person who has empathy for her is not as bad as the older sister who consistently let her be talked down, about and two, plotted with GG and didn’t even ask her if she was okay because, she didn’t mean it, it’ll blow over. Even in the very last apology when Zoya was about to leave, you could see that she had 0 faith in Julien, not only as a sister but as a person.

Which leads me to saying that Julien is probs the most interesting character of the show. She’s lovable and flawed and she is good but she as of right now, she’s mean at worst and horribly complicit at best because right now her career is a bit more important but her 14 year old sister doesn’t deserve the headache of navigating her with her. But I do love Julien because she has layers and I think by the end, she’ll be able to have her influencer career without compromising herself. That does lead us to the the chairmen and co-chair of the mean team.

Monet and Luna weren’t around as much but I do think...I do think...that if Julien goes nice, they’re gonna go super nasty. They have access to her life which mean access to that video if Julien didn’t out right delete it or they find out about it and snooping. They’re her friends but unlike her, they don’t have a much of a Conscious so far of right and wrong and they’ll strike anyone down. I think if we have wild cards, they’re it. If Julien really does go down a new path, learns more to fight for what matters and understand the real her is just as likable, the mean duo will not accept and will try and bring her down. They have their own meaning of friends with benefits.

My dude Obie, I can’t say much. I don’t think he’s as Malicious as y’all make him out to be but he is a bit callous and naïve...which could be worse tbh. I think he does want to do good but he only knows Performative good to counter-act his parents. I do want him to get with someone else but I do hope he learns what true activism means through Zoya and understand how much of a difference he could make if he really put his mind to it. I also want him to learn get out quick, because he wasn’t just looking for a reason to end things but one to stay and Julien didn’t give him that.

Audrey, I like the stuff with her mom. I like the little bit more depth we got, she slept with Max maybe but Aki made out with him, who am I to judge? I hope her mon can step up in the future but I don’t think it’ll be easy and hopefully they explore it more. Not just tease us. Her mom needs therapy but I think I'm a bit invested in her too.

Max, I love max but the dude is Pretentious ~ above earthly love ~ low key a shitty friend and talks in metaphors whenever he has the chance BUT he does it well. I don’t see him with Aki but I want it! I do see him going harder after Audrey but I think he was a bit shocked for all his flirting that he was into the kids with Aki. I think he lives to play with people. I don't know if he really likes Audrey but he does want to bang her, a lot, a lot a lot. I don't think he really wanted to sleep with Aki but he did like playing with him and he could pick up the fact that Aki might be feeling him. I don't think the interest was really, real until Aki kissed him at the pool, home boy was shocked and was like oooo maybe something is there but his focus is on the teacher. And I also think the not in a million years thing had his gears turning too. You tell him it can't or won't happen and now he wants to make it happen.

Aki, my baby, my voice of reason. What makes him great as a person, makes him not great for Audrey when it comes to emotional stuff. He means well and I get where he's coming from with wanting Audrey to understand her mom but she did need a partner. The thing she loves about him is the thing that makes it hard. I don't know how Aki was brought up but I feel like this plays into it, she's always comparing him to a therapist. I wonder if his parents a bit more emotionally cold or curt or just very analytical people. But, like he's been lovely since ep one, the only one of the group to sort of defend Zoya or Julien wanting to know her / keep her secret. (What secrets does he have?) And in ep 2, he really was like 'ya'll fucked in the head' to the mean team. I know some consider him boring because he doesn't speak up often but when he does speak up, he got something to say. I want the show to use him in a way to stir drama just by being friends, his character doesn't have to have a dramatic effect and he could get his own little subplot that's tied into the show but like, my can't become some douche. (If he does, only for a bit.) Now, I don't see Max being endgame for him AT ALL. If it's between the two, Max would go for Audrey for sure while leading my boi on in ways, he could even really start to like him but endgame no. I'd love to see a scene with Max does get jealous of Aki with another dude, in a romantic way or the dude could be hitting on him, I think Aki would be able to humble him just a bit because no one really seems to know what he's thinking. In the end, idk who he ends up with but I want him to find someone who will do my dude right and he should get some non-shitty friends who'll listen to his problems. (Still not over that Max)

The teachers while being shown more, don't have much of a presence. It's mainly Kate and the goofy one for extended scenes. KATE MY GOOD SIS. NO. Please, I want this to be the point where she loses GG somehow and someone takes over or maybe another GG pops up, can market better and isn't willing to have a faltering moments. I want it to spiral. Spiral hard. Also, sexy teach said not on my watch ezra! I stan him. Teachers are still fun for me, they make me want to never teach at a dumb rich private school.

Also, fuck the dads within reason. Esp, Julien's dad but only because we got to see Zoya's more and he is kinda in the right about most of the stuff but not the sister stuff. You can tell he's doing his best to instill morals in his daughter esp when he knows she can fall to outside influences.

Overall, I'm still enjoying it, I'm invested. I see room for growth for all of the characters (maybe not the teachers) and I want to see it play out. It does feel a little rushed but I think they're finding their footing and they have some big things to pull. But's not horrible and if they just play the drama bit longer and then conclude, it wouldn't feel that way. Maybe one more episode or half an episode could've been added to the Zoya-Obie-Julien story line to fully flush it out but I like the ending. Not sisters, not friends but cool with each and possibly re-build, at worst they just don't interact. I noticed some cool things with the promos but I need to confirm when I can find the one for 3.

Sorry if it went from all lower case to proper-ish, I had to switch to my phone and it auto-does it.

[zukadiary]

Carly, can’t help but notice that in your bio and in certain of your reviews with photos of yourself attached, your makeup is flawless and your natural skin/smile is really amazing. In fact you look like an off-duty ken-7 Musume! If you have time and feel ok to do so, would you drop your skincare/makeup/beauty routine and your favourite products for us? Feels weird to ask but I promise it’s from a place of pure admiration only (well a tiny aesthetic crush *blushes*)

Goodness anon... I am FLATTERED, and I will try my best, but let’s for sure DISCLAIM A FEW THINGS:

1: My natural state is NOT PARTICULARLY AMAZING, I promise I am a very ordinary acne-covered human with rapidly graying hair like everyone else

Hello, this is the real me, the hermit currently working 12 hour days on her computer in her childhood bedroom.

2. If you’re just looking through my blog, literally I swear my #1 beauty tip is the B612 app, no I’m not kidding

Taken exactly 8 seconds after the previous, this is the “Peach” filter.

3. When I am in Japan, and particularly when I am going to see a show, I do approximately ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND PERCENT MORE to myself than I would do on a normal non-COVID basis. Am I proud of it? Absolutely not. Does it make me feel unbelievably self-conscious to walk into a place where everyone stares at you and on top of it everyone staring at you is very rich and half your size and shaves their arms and somehow doesn’t sweat? Unfortunately yes. 

So like, not quite off-duty ken-7 musumeyaku, more like on-duty ken-(redacted) musumeyaku, because I assure you I probably spend as much time as they do getting ready, and I am DEFINITELY not shinko-eligible.

4. I have done my makeup exactly one (1) time since the pandemic started, and it wasn’t even to go out, it was to take a new LinkedIn headshot because I am job hunting for a hotshot position. It took me an age and a half because I like, forgot what eyeshadow was.

THAT ALL SAID, I can give you the FEW tips of things that I actually feel like kind of work for me maybe??

I use different foundation in the winter (liquid) and summer (mineral powder). The latter is especially good if you’re in Japan during the Sweaty Times™, which is honestly like, April through November. I am, to be perfectly honest, NOT attached to any of the foundation brands I use. The powder is Lily Lolo and I only like it because it’s inexpensive for a natural brand but doesn’t suck.

When I am going to the theater, I do a wholeass layering routine of primer > foundation > concealer > setting powder > setting spray. Which, again, is mostly because Japan is the Sweaty Place, and I haven’t yet figured out the secret Japanese fan technique of not sweating.

The only things in my makeup routine I DO feel strongly about are 1) the Urban Decay eyeshadow primer potion, without which my eye makeup would never last more than 3 minutes, and Benefit Roller Lash mascara, which does a decent job of keeping my very straight eyelashes kinda curled all day. I also use cream blush, but I’m not attached to a particular brand.

THRIFTY TIP: I get all my eyeshadow, eye liner, highlighter powder, and setting powders from https://www.silknaturals.com/store/. Their stuff is VERY reasonably priced, all natural ingredients, and they dupe their colors from top makeup brands but sell them for cheaper/healthier ingredients/in little sifter jars so the powders stay clean and last way longer!

For skincare, to be perfectly honest, I have nothing I swear by; I had a routine that worked pretty well for a while but then one day up and stopped, and right now I’m struggling with a lot of skin issues, probably due to stress, and I’m still experimenting and trying to figure out something that works well. The only general tip I have is I have very dry skin and I use face oils as my moisturizer, it’s the only thing that works well enough. I think a lot of people are afraid of oils because it was marketed to us as the enemy when we were acne-prone teens, but as someone who has dealt with acne into adulthood I can say there are MANY that not only don’t worsen my acne but actually help it. Which ones will work for you is unfortunately pretty personal.

My hair is the bane of my existence in Japan (the sweaty place!!) because as soon as it goes above 1% humidity all bets are off with my hair down no matter how much ironing I do or how much product I use. If the weather is such that I CAN wear it down there, I pack like 5 cans of Batiste dry shampoo and try to only wash/dry/flat iron or curl my hair twice a week and just keep it alive in between, otherwise I’d go insane trying to do it every day. When I CAN’T wear it down, I braid it and spray it to my head using techniques I learned on YouTube. Here’s my summer hair playlist

This has been CARLY’S BEAUTY TIPS I guess and now also you all know what I really look like.

[a-crimson-lion]

A Look At Bakudeku’s Development (Based On That One Instagram Post): A Photo-Narrative Analysis

Word Count: 4,287 (Yikes…)

[This got long. Like, REALLY long. Don't expect too many colors. There's a lot to get through...]

For those out of the loop, I recently came across this Instagram post during unhealthy hours in the morning. The purpose of this post, I’d assume, was to debunk any negativity aimed at the Bakudeku dynamic/ship, claiming it was indeed not abusive and that the antis in question are ignoring canon in favor of playing Bakugo’s suicide instigation on repeat. Before addressing the post in question, I would like to state two things:

I am not stuck on Chapter/Episode 1 in the series. I have been caught up proper with every story arc up to the JT Training Arc and am roughly familiar with everything past that point. I don’t just take Katsuki’s now essentially forgotten suicide instigation into account; I’m taking every part of his actions well beyond that moment and how they reflect on him, internally justified or otherwise.

While I’m among the people who believe that Bakudeku as of the latest incarnation of the manga (up to Ch. 280) is indeed abusive, I am open to discussions on why it is not. In any case, however, I cannot ignore the fact that the dynamic/ship is incredibly problematic besides the skeletons in both Izuku and Katsuki’s closets.

So, in order to address this issue to the best of my half-awake brain’s abilities, I will review the screenshots within said post and break down how they factor into the Bakudeku dynamic and the overall development. Be aware that there are some manga and movie spoilers, and this is just MY OPINION. I could be wrong, and I’m okay with that. If you wanna talk without patronizing me, the comments are open. I also apologize in advance if I myself come of as patronizing. All the screenshots I’ll be discussing can be found in the video link above (or here).

Well then, no point in beating around the bush...

1) Izuku Taking Katsuki Out Of The Final Exam Gate (Anime Screenshot)

The first piece of “evidence” used to show the merit of Bakudeku comes from the Final Exam arc, shortly after Katsuki succumbs to All Might’s assault, only for Izuku to come in and deck the #1 Hero in order to grab Katsuki and carry him to safety, allowing them both to pass.

However, this photo marks a recurring trend throughout some of the other photos: they speak more about IZUKU as a character than Izuku AND Katsuki.

Izuku getting to save Katsuki is a major development… for Izuku. One that we’ve seen before. Think about it. The first time Izuku saves Katsuki towards the beginning of the exam, he has to punch Katsuki in the face because he was considering throwing the match just for working with Izuku. And after he’s been saved, Katsuki blows up (figuratively and literally) before aggressively kabedoning him. In this scene though? Katsuki got knocked the f*** out, so he really has no room to protest if Izuku comes in to save him a second time.

Plus, this isn’t really anything NEW with Izuku. We know that he’s aware in an abstract sense that what Katsuki did to him was “wrong,” but he doesn’t hold a grudge or any animosity to him towards that. He’s one of Katsuki’s biggest defenders and supporters, assuming Katsuki allows it. So really, him saving Katsuki isn’t really surprising or a major step forward, ‘cause he was always willing to do it from the get go. And again, Katsuki isn’t conscious during his second rescue, so we don’t really know if he would have let Izuku save him again or if he would have protested.

There’s nothing new here, and nothing balanced to the overall dynamic. Just Izuku being Izuku.

2) All Might Acknowledges The New Bakudeku Rivalry (Anime Screenshot)

Deku vs Kacchan 2 was a big moment for the Bakudeku dynamic. I’m not saying it’s a positive moment, nor am I saying it was necessary, but it was big. And in the aftermath of that fight, where Izuku and Katsuki are having a back and forth, All Might thinks to himself that the two have become true rivals now, or something along those lines. And it’s nice that he’s willing to spell this out for the audience and all, but uh…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: show, don’t tell.

All Might is essentially telling us that Izuku and Katsuki are rivals now. What does the story have to show for it? A brief conversation during their house arrest, followed by a massive stall due to the Shie Hassaikai Arc and Cultural Festival Arc (albeit with one more instance we’ll cover later), and then what essentially equates to Katsuki yelling at Izuku a lot during the Joint Training Arc.

...that’s ...not much.

And yeah, you could expect me to be a good bean to the author and wait until the later arcs, but even then, the execution… just falls kinda flat, at least for me. Going back to that particular moment with All Might’s thought process, it kind of reminds me of Eraserhead essentially acting as a mouthpiece for the Ochako vs Katsuki fight during the Sports Festival, but that’s a can of worms I won’t be indulging today.

What I’m getting at is this: All Might letting the audience know that Bakudeku have reached rival status is great! Now if only the series could deliver more on that...

3) Standing With Two One For Alls (Heroes Rising)

Okay, seriously, if you haven’t seen Heroes Rising yet, I implore you, GO. WATCH IT. It is an incredible film and I would recommend it with warm words. And I’ll admit, it gives us a better incarnation of Bakudeku compared to the rest of the series.

Yes, I said “better,” not “great.”

Look, I’m all for Izuku and Katsuki working past their differences and the clusterf*** that was their childhood, and maybe Horikoshi not being as integrally involved with the film’s writing as people think he is has something to do with it, but uh… you do not say “put myself as low as to working with Deku” or something like that and expect to be casually tossed aside, at least if you’re me. And while I’m glad there was some genuine emotional tension as Izuku gave Katsuki OFA, some part about it feels… off. Like, nothing was really truly resolved. Katsuki wasn’t given OFA as a sign of forgiveness, as an acknowledgement. Katsuki was given OFA because there was an AFO level villain about to wreck the place and kill some peeps and oh look, the narrative made it so that Katsuki was the only convenient holder around! It kinda stings when you look at it that way.

Not that it matters, because a big thing most people forget is that at the end of this movie, THE ENTIRE THING IS ESSENTIALLY SWIPED ACROSS THE DESK AND ON THE FLOOR. Even if it was going to have some level of effort towards the development of the dynamic, that effort is essentially GONE because Katsuki doesn’t remember SQUAT, and what happens to OFA after the fight is NEVER DISCUSSED. It’s just a hard reset, BOOM, back to normal. *Sigh*

Really, the whole double OFA thing was for convenience, less so for any emotional leveling up that could have been done. And even then, Izuku is still somehow the one putting more emotional input into the entire thing than Katsuki.

4) “I Thought You Were Gonna Get Ahead Of Me!” (Anime Screenshot)

Katsuki’s methods of motivation are… admittedly not for everyone. They seem to work fine for Izuku, as seen sometime after the Cultural Festival Arc, but again, that’s just Izuku. We know how he takes Katsuki’s words and turns it into motivation, but why does Katsuki bother at all?

Well, maybe this comes with desperately trying to find reasons to like a character but progressively despising him and his narrative placement more and more as time progresses, but here’s my angle on it: Katsuki just doesn’t want Izuku dragging his weight for nothing.

Keep in mind, we’re talking about the same Katsuki who held a grudge against Shoto for holding back during the Sports Festival. The same Katsuki who wanted the #1 Hero to go all out and would continuously press to fight him. The same Katsuki who wanted to fight a deadly villain even after being instructed to get back to camp for his own safety. The same Katsuki who challenged Izuku to a fight to finally determine where the gap was, and who was frustrated when he won because the power Izuku possessed was All Might’s, so clearly he shouldn’t have lost.

In short, Katsuki doesn’t like it when people don’t give it their all. And I believe it’s been stated once or twice that once Izuku makes One For All his own, there’s a good chance they’re gonna fight again. So it’s in Katsuki’s best interest to make sure Izuku isn’t half-assing anything, because he wants to prove he can beat Izuku at his best, thus proving that KATSUKI is the best.

So it’s less so for Izuku’s benefit as it is for Katsuki’s own.

5) One Giant Leap (Heroes Rising)

Arguably one of the best moments of the entire Heroes Rising film amongst the fandom is the big handhold scene between Katsuki and Izuku as they make a last gambit effort to take down Nine with two One for Alls. Admittedly this is one of the best if not the best moment throughout the entire progression of the Bakudeku dynamic thus far. I’ll give it that much.

...which makes it all the more frustrating because again: MIND. WIPE. The audience knows it happened, but in canon we never know if Izuku discusses it with Katsuki or if anyone else was aware of the moment in greater specificity. IT ESSENTIALLY NEVER HAPPENED, and I’m starting to legitimately wonder whether or not it was for the best...

6) Datte Atashi No Hero (Anime Screenshot)

First off: how? Second off: huh?

Believe me, the second ending of Season 3 is an absolute bop, don’t get me wrong, but uh… again, it provides NOTHING balanced for Bakudeku, once again relying on Izuku’s perspective on the entire matter. I once read an interesting meta about this ending and how it could be interpreted (take this with a grain of salt), but the biggest contender is that this is in fact Izuku’s fantasy. Think about it:

Izuku is a humble traveling warrior, with nothing to distinguish himself in his own opinion.

Ochako is a magician because she’s alien to Izuku, an unheard of phenomenon.

Tenya being a knight, Shoto being a prince, and Momo being a warrior princess all correlates to their high standings in society, heroic or otherwise.

The reason Katsuki is a barbarian king is because he’s familiar to Izuku in an ancient sense; he’s known him for a long time. The list goes on, but you get the jist.

With this in mind, it’s not difficult to understand that even Katsuki willing to work with Izuku would be another aspect of Izuku’s fantasy: to be able to stand beside his childhood friend once more. And remember the ending of that scene, when Izuku does that big sword slash? That’s him having fully mastered OFA. Both are things that could happen given the manga’s recent direction, but still have yet to happen because this is, again, a fantasy.

And apparently Datte Atatshi No Hero is a reflection on Izuku’s feelings towards Katsuki. Take that as you will, but again, this does not speak for Bakudeku as a whole. Just Izuku’s feelings on the matter.

7) Win to Save, Save to Win (Manga Screenshot)

Since I’ve already penned myself into a short story at this point, might as well take the time to look at this famous phrase from the story.

Personally, I consider it bulls***. It harms both characters overall; yes, I said both. It excuses Katsuki’s need to be a blunt powerhouse that only targets villains, and it redundantly demands Izuku do more of what he was already doing, albeit with less sympathy. I know it sounds corny to say saving is more important than winning, but in the heat of the moment, what gets to the civilians in danger more often? Seeing a guy in a cape deck the latest disaster right in front of them or from a distance? Or said cape guy risking life and limb making sure that this person gets to see life another day?

There’s no perfect answer to it, but that’s my stance.

And this quote, “Win to save, save to win,” justifies the one thing that keeps Katsuki from truly outgrowing his past: his need to be the best. If winning is on the same level then saving, and Izuku has an innate capacity to save, then that means it’s okay for Katsuki to have to win all the time, right?

No. It’s not. And that’s not speaking for all the “Gary Stu” crap, either.

Because being pressured into being the best is what caused Katsuki to hate any kindness offered to him by Izuku. The desire to be the best had him bully Izuku for a decade to ensure that Izuku remained the loser and Katsuki remained the winner. That desire characterizes arguably the worst aspects of Katsuki’s character, and those aspects aren’t gonna fly in the Pro Hero world. Because if Nana Shimura, Shota Aizawa, the Pussycats, Mirio, Sir Nighteye, and a handful of other incidents have taught us anything, it’s that even at their best efforts, heroes don’t win all the time.

Katsuki needs to learn this, or it will crush him in the long term. But he hasn’t. The narrative has kept letting him rack up wins, and his current actions in the manga were spurred on by the fact that he still has yet to truly take a loss.

Say what you will, but I don’t like this line. For what it says about Izuku or Katsuki.

8) The Only One Who Can Accept His Feelings… (Anime Screenshot)

Me @ #7: Wanna see me go off?

Me @ #8: Wanna see me do it again?

Izuku’s perspective on the entire Bakudeku situation is a major reason why most fans condone it. “Izuku doesn’t appear obviously bothered by Katsuki, so that clearly means it’s not abusive/problematic, so just shut up!” or something like that. Well, I’m no psychologist, so I won’t go into a spiel about people ignoring their pain for the sake of others or people trying to excuse others in order to place fault on themselves whether or not it be accurate.

Really, all I can say is that NONE OF THIS should be Izuku’s responsibility.

I’m not blaming this on Izuku because he hasn’t had actual friends or a healthy support system in a long while, but the fact that he decides to take on and enable Katsuki in his element just… doesn’t sit well with me. The logical conclusion would be talking, not throwing hands. I don’t care if they’re “distressed teenagers,” neither of them should be doing this, and Katsuki was fully aware that the teachers would stop them in the first place; that’s not simply adults meddling in what isn’t their business. Katsuki should have really figured out by now that maybe the best course of action is to actually vent to someone without blowing their face off, and I get that he’s absolute s*** at feelings, but really, that’s more of a red flag that he needs to actually get help. And if you think a little too hard on Izuku’s feelings of the matter, well…

Imagine being ostracized for so long that you lose all sense of self worth.

Imagine being told time and again that your worthless, which checks out for you because clearly if your worthless, the guy that enabled that mindset is obviously better than you, and he’s entitled to use you for his own ends.

That’s what I get from this scene.

And again, this is all from IZUKU at this point; virtually NOTHING from Katsuki.

9) Double Detroit Smash (Heroes Rising)

I’ve already said my piece about the film. At this point, it’s beating a dead horse with a stick. Moving on.

10) Word of God (Miscellaneous)

Here’s the thing about Word of God in fandom: the general consensus is that it’s nice to get confirmation from a credible source, but unless it is portrayed in canon, it’s just more words which may or may not be true.

In this case, Kohei Horikoshi, the mangaka for BNHA, is saying that eventually, Katsuki will have to apologize to Izuku. Eventually.

As in, it still hasn’t happened yet.

As in, Katsuki still has yet to decide that what he did in the past was wrong and he should try to fix it.

As in, it currently shows no bearing towards Katsuki’s current character nor the overall Bakudeku dynamic.

Sure, it MIGHT happen, but in another interview (or mayhaps it’s the same one), Horikoshi stated that Katsuki originally wasn’t intended to get as much screen time as he did. Both of these situations are different of course, but with the recent turbulence of the War Arc shaking up the manga, is it really so hard to believe that an apology might slip away from Katsuki’s thought process?

On the bright side, an apology could happen. But until it’s canon, then it’s only a possibility, and therefore can’t be used fully for the intended argument.

11) X-Catapult Handhold (Heroes Rising)

I bet some people working on the movie and some fans on the movie felt spoiled when they included not one, but two handholding scenes for Izuku and Katsuki.

And while the first handhold is certainly a marvel of battle tactics, again, there isn’t much else going on with it. Is it nice to see Katsuki working with Izuku again? Yes, but contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t go past that. Katsuki’s just willing to work with Izuku, full stop. He’d probably be willing to work with anyone because Nine is f***ing tank. And sure, getting a handhold tease is nice, but it’s only to facilitate Katsuki’s subsequent yeeting of Izuku at Nine in an attempt to do damage. Nothing more pressing about the circumstances of their past or anything like that.

12) A Bit of Advice (Anime Screenshot)

Look, this is one of the tamer, better looks at Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship. He’s willing to put his pride aside and give Izuku some advice. But remember what I said earlier in #4?

It’s not just to make sure Izuku gets better, but so Katsuki can feel like it’s a complete win when he beats his ass.

And if we take the line “It pisses me off” into account, we can look at that flaw from the same angle. Remember, Izuku has All Might’s power, the #1 Hero’s power. To Katsuki, that means he shouldn’t have the luxury of making mistakes. But Izuku does. He makes mistakes, and Katsuki sees them and he doesn’t get to exploit them. He still wins, but not because of those mistakes. And part of that pisses Katsuki off. Izuku shouldn’t get to slack. So, Katsuki gives him some advice. Advice that will no doubt help Izuku in the long run, for his (and Katuki’s) sakes. It’s a good outcome from a not very good reason...

13) Have You Made That Borrowed Power Your Own? (Manga Screenshot)

Yeah, no.

I don’t care if Izuku is used to this treatment, it still isn’t reinforcing an overall positive tone.

I don’t care if Katsuki acknowledges at some level that Izuku’s power is becoming his own, he still has the gall to say it was no wonder he passed BECAUSE of his power. Which may be true, but it’s not like Izuku was relying on it 100%, and lowkey comes off as Quirkist.

All it tells me is that Katsuki is starting to acknowledge Izuku, in the “gadfly I can’t get off my back” sort of way. Is this the “best development” y’all are rooting for? Basic acknowledgement of another human being?

14) Outta My Way Punk! (Manga Screenshot)

Katsuki reflexively tells Izuku to get out of his way.

Izuku is used to it, again, that does not excuse it.

Once again, Katsuki reverts back to his usual behavior instead of showing a more subtle approach to show the audience that maybe he’s changing beyond what a chorus of other characters saying “he’s changed!” has to offer.

...even if it’s not abusive, you can’t really say that’s a “good” relationship, either.

15) Blackwhip Training (Manga Screenshot)

Katsuki willing to train with Izuku to help him master his Quirk(s) is nice.

Still blatantly in his element with lots of needless yelling and dominance assertion, but still nice.

And keep in mind, right after it’s clear they aren’t getting anywhere and Izuku tries to rationalize it, Katsuki decides to dip seeing as it’s not worth his time anymore. And even before that, at least in my translation, Katsuki seems to be more interested in beating out Blackwhip instead of having Izuku get a handle on.

Again, maybe not abusive, but not exactly supportive, either.

16) ??? (Anime Screenshot)

I personally have no idea what they were going for with this screenshot, but if I had to guess, that’s after Katsuki gives Izuku an escape window whilst he faces off against All Might alone during their Final Exams.

While I understand that this is early on in their dynamic’s development, the fact still stands that Katsuki still wants to fight for fighting’s sake. He may have been willing to at least give Izuku a chance, but he still sees Izuku’s retreat as cowardly, even though it’s a perfectly valid way to pass the exam. He still just wants to fight.

There’s no mutuality in that sense.

17) Quote from Justin Briner (Miscellaneous)

I don’t have much of an opinion for Izuku’s English VA, but for what it’s worth, I think overall he’s a really cool dude. The same, however, cannot be said for his quote.

I can buy into Izuku wanting to get stronger because of Katsuki, since that is a major plot point. I can’t do the same for Katsuki seeing the good in people because we don’t ever see it, really? In fact, it’s more like people latch on to Katsuki and he just tolerates them until they’ve completely wormed their way into his life. There’s no scene where Katsuki considers someone a good person because of something Izuku did, or anything even vaguely along those lines, at least to my knowledge.

As for their relationship, there have been more downs than ups, and it isn’t relatable to me in the slightest. Maybe that’s just ‘cause I don’t get the overall appeal, but their friendship never really strikes me as a… well, friendship. You could argue that’s the point and that’s what makes them different and interesting, but I would much rather we see more concrete proof of their relationship being at more understandable highs and lows while actually demonstrating it was mutual.

But again. That’s just me.

18) Joint Training Pep Talk (Manga Screenshot)

I’m basically repeating myself at this point. Katsuki might be keeping tabs on Izuku, but again, it’s not entirely for Izuku’s benefit. He just wants to make sure his new “rival” (successor to the #1 Hero, I might add) isn’t dragging his feet through the mud and actually getting s*** done so their eventual third clash will actually be worth his time.

...this relationship is so one-sided in two entirely different ways, I swear.

19) Speaking With Kacchan So Naturally (Manga Screenshot)

Why are we congratulating Katsuki for adding one more person to his already (surprisingly) sizable tolerance pile?

Why are we congratulating Izuku for bridging a gap other people managed to cross with little to no effort even though he didn’t do anything wrong?

Izuku is essentially saying “Good job on me for finally getting the same treatment as everyone else from that one person after over ten years.” Good on him, but uh… that’s not exactly a landmark worth framing the way the fandom does...

The relationship might not be outright abusive, but HOO BOY the bar has never been set lower...

20) “You’ve got a good friend in him” (Manga Screenshot)

And finally, the pièce de résistance. Which is really more narrative mouthpiece-ing.

Even before that, Katsuki yet again can’t take a compliment from Izuku for whatever reason. Yet again, Izuku just shrugs off all of Katsuki’s discouragement, intentional or otherwise. And I love me some Dadmight as much as the next guy, but really, does he have a good grasp on relationships? His only friends in his life were David and Naomasa, and he’s been shown time and time again to not be the infallible man many think he is due to being the Symbol of Peace? But suddenly he goes “Bakudeku rights” and y’all jump on that with no room for argument?

Katsuki has yet to prove what All Might has been saying. Again, telling rather than showing, therefore removing the meaning from the entire thing. Unless Katsuki proves otherwise, I call bulls***.

-------------------------------------------------------

So, my final verdict? Bakudeku is fine. It’s just not as great as the rest of you are making it out to be. I’m not gonna dictate whatever you ship or what you enjoy, that’s not my place, but at least keep these perspectives in mind. You don’t have to believe them, but just… stay aware, y’know?

Alrighty, I’ve wasted enough of your time. If you’ve read it until the very end, then… thanks. Carry on.

-Crimson Lion (10 August 2020)

[dr-gloom]

Some thoughts/analysis on the new episode, because the video itself and people's reactions were bugging me

Disclaimers: I don't hate Patton or Roman, I'm not calling Patton abusive or manipulative, as those terms insinuate knowing what you're doing and I don't think Patton does know how he's coming across

- First I wanna just point out, as a few others have, that Thomas is once again wearing black and white while discussing a grey-area issue. I love the attention to detail

- The recap only really highlights that Thomas admitted to wanting something that contradicted Patton's statement of why he's a good person (or more specifically "perfect", which, as nice and friendly and lovely as that sounds, is a toxic mindset and I like that Thomas touched on that at the end), which is an interesting point to cover honestly, especially since later Thomas challenges Patton to call him a good person

- "Now kiddo, if you're gonna dish out Fs, why don't we make them friendly hugs?" I understand Patton was trying to lighten the mood and joke a little and all that, but he's not letting Thomas just... Be angry/upset. He's trying to control how he feels and steer away from negative emotions, which I thought he learned not to do??

- I love that Patton heard what he was saying and stopped. Good on him. But what he replaced it with is called guilt tripping and that's not much better. "I'm surprised you would say something like that about your friends. I always thought that when it came to your pals, that sort of language would be... Ineffable?" It may sound gentle and sweet, but he's still saying "you can't talk about your friends like that" (and I get it, we all know that's not how Thomas really feels, but again he needs to be allowed to express himself). You can tell from Thomas's face while Patton's talking that the guilt tripping worked, at least for a moment.

- Anyone else notice a little Logan shining through in Thomas's words/actions the first portion of the video?

- "If our goals aligned with his what would that say?" Uhmmm gee lemme think Roman... Maybe that you care about Thomas's mental health and desires???

- I think it's very telling that during the rap Thomas cuts Patton off right before he's about to say something that, judging from the graphics, was going to make him sound heroic and said "I made this choice", while looking very... Upset.

- Okay so when Thomas was all "why didn't I just talk to them???" I felt hella vindicated but the second time I watched I finally heard Roman say "I mean I kinda brought that up before but it got shut down faster than an Antarctic icepop shop". Like... Fuck, they seriously do not appreciate or listen to Roman at all

- Patton brushing them off with "Eh well hindsight is 20/20" pissed me off so much. No empathy whatsoever. Jesus Christ.

- Roman's reaction when Thomas said no to the whole future vision thing made me laugh and no one is talking about it

- But yeah Thomas talking about using foresight has a total Logan Vibe

- Patton's reaction when Thomas says "I made a decision with a blindfold on" is... Interesting...

- Seriously that cat analogy was so specific.....

- One should never base their decisions on "well they've helped me before so I owe them" like. No. Patton, Roman, stop. He should have decided to go because he wanted to, not because he owed it to them or you made him feel like shit

- "Those baby-making Catholics" lmfaooooo

- "You, thinking about giving their wedding a pass all because of a callback that, really, might not work out". That bugged me too, because it can just as easily be argued he gave up his big break for a wedding he barely participated during. If we're being completely logical here (and borrowing from a later concept of how our time is better used), his time would have been better-spent at the callback since he wasn't even mentally present at the wedding

- "Maybe they understand, and maybe they still want you to go to the wedding but feel too guilty to say so. Or, maybe you end up going to the wedding, and they feel guilty seeing you there because they feel like they took a big opportunity away from you". First off, they did (or would have, had the conversation taken place and they insisted he come). Secondly I personally feel like he owed it to them (and yes, I'm aware how that sounds but I can't think of better phrasing) to talk about it with 100% honesty on both sides, because now he's angry that he went to their wedding and they have no idea. Sure, the vid ends with them coming over to catch up, but if it hadn't? That's the kind of shit that festers very easily. I feel like he'd have been more satisfied if he had still decided to go after talking with them. I think Thomas realizes this too when he responds to Roman's question with a very sure, very adamant "No."

- "This was our chance to be there for them when it counted". I know this is me reading into things but it felt like he was saying anything else he may have done for them doesn't matter or isn't good enough

- "Why does their complexion matter" LMFAOOOOOO omg roman

- "... We can all agree that you're a good fellow-" "Can we? All agree on that?" Like fuck, Thomas still isn't sure what Patton thinks of him? That cuts deep. And... Patton still hasn't apologized. He conceeded that he's "been a bit much", which is far from the same thing

- pfffft what the fuck was Roman trying to do???

- "Well that's a relief... I think". Meaning Thomas still isn't fucking sure where Patton stands. I have to admit his dialogue did sound a bit circuitous

- he almost said GameStop lmfao

- why is he fixating so much on frogger

- "At least 16 graphics!" I died laughing

- "By the liquid lipstick of William Shakespeare" wut the fue? Lmao

- "just like you don't have to get him a hotdog" "I feel like you kinda do... Maybe". I know Janus says it later on but he was right when he said peppering in a few "I don't know"s and "maybe"s does not a conversationally-conscious person make. Like, he didn't even add the maybe until Roman reacted negatively to what he was saying

- I'm surprised Logan said it'd be wrong for Thomas to keep his money to himself tbh

- Roman mouthing "behoove". Like, c'mon dude, stop being such a dick to Logan when he's just trying to help

- Logan's so done he's not even trying to hide it. Like you can see the annoyance clear on his little pixelated face

- Also did anyone notice that Logan kept getting cut off so the next time he "spoke" he made them read it aloud so they'd actually fucking listen

- "Yeah! As long as that's not the main reason you're doing it!" Honestly though, most people do good things for their own benefit; tax benefits, That Good Feeling, compliments from others etc. It doesn't diminish the effect of the good act, so who cares?????

- "You shouldn't do a good thing just because it makes you feel good... I-I think." He's trying so hard but he's just not understanding how this works is he. Also it's interesting that he preaches holding to your values and not nitpicking situations yet he's literally doing it right now because last time he just... Needed to counter Janus and couldn't admit he'd had a fair point

- "Deceit said you'd be doing the right thing for a selfish reason if you did it for your own emotional gain". You can tell by his tone he's trying to make Thomas see Deceit as wrong and bad but like literally two seconds later he audibly confirms he feels the same way

"Definitely! Maybe... I think so... What do you think?" Tbh I'm proud of him for asking someone else's opinion, esp cause he's screwing this up so horrendously

- man if Roman being scared to share his opinion after Patton visibly disagrees isn't a huge red flag idk what is

- the world of the video game is called AU I'm screaming

- I'll always be salty that Roman once again shoved a "dark side" into the villain roll without asking

- I don't agree with Patton automatically assuming that just because the hero wants a reward, it means he doesn't care about the people he saves getting it. People can have multiple motives and wanting recognition isn't bad or evil or selfish

- I'm so fucking glad Thomas snapped and asked "am I not allowed to feel good if I do something good" because that's basically what Patton's saying and no one was addressing it. And Patton saying that can't be a valid motive is honestly fucked up

- during the trolley problem the options toggle the most between morality, anxiety, and denial. Idk, it's just interesting

- it's also interesting that Patton views moving the trolley as worse than letting it stay, meaning he thinks small active murder is worse than larger, passive murder. Not bad or good or anything, just interesting

- I hate hate hate that Patton silences Logan when he's the one who asked him to say something, especially since he follows that with "oh you can't really learn good morality from a book hahahaha". Like dude just acknowledge that you don't agree but there are other valid points of view, my god

- also you can tell from the color that Janus totally put that skip button in, meaning Logan really, really wanted to continue but Janus could see it wasn't going to get them where they needed to go

- "stu-ooper dooper unique mustache" lmfaooooo

- Thomas keeps coming back with something along the lines of "I need the answer to X so I can meet your expectations". He even says "I don't understand what I need to change so I can meet your standard". Last time I did a post like this, back when SvS came out, I said Patton has too much sway/control over Thomas, and he still does. Thomas doesn't try nearly as hard to "meet the standards" of his other sides, but in this instance he's desperate to know how he can appease Patton. I don't think that's necessarily a good thing, given that it's likely because he wants Patton to say without hesitation that he's a good person

- Roman thinks he's the problem I wanna cry

- "And I'm an awful driver" I laughed so hard

- "I only mean well when I say that that is the stupidest thing you have ever said" I can't stop laughing XD

- "You're just blowing smoke" seriously someone help me

- Roman's reaction when Thomas says he feels guilty just killed me. They all just acknowledged that Roman is his motivator and Thomas comes out and says his motives make him feel guilty? Ouch

- "Doing nothing is even worse!" Patton honey I'm begging you to please stop talking omg this is going so poorly

- "doing nothing is worse than doing a good thing for the wrong reasons" first off, who's to say what a wrong reason is, and secondly, that's an interesting take from the man who refused to move the trolley 👀

- oooof Thomas's relief when Logan cuts in though

- "Huuuuuhhhh I do need help" fuck, I wanna cry, poor Thomas

- "Logan, like you said this isn't your area of expertise" ITS NOT YOURS EITHER ROMAN OMG

- "Every point you've made in today's discussion has contradicted that sentiment" YES LOGAN JANUS SLAY. Also anyone else notice Patton looking to the others for validation because I Sure Did

- oh man though I thought Logan was finally getting the chance to lay into Patton and take him down a peg and it turned out to be Janus

- "Oh, is it not? Please, correct me if I'm wrong." yeah paTTON CORRECT HIM IF HES WRONG (notice how he doesn't even have an argument to that, all he can say is "you're wrong!")

- honestly the way he goes from 0 to 60 should've tipped us off that that was Janus

- I wanna know if Patton turned into a muscular frog irl

- idk Patton feels like a villain when he's all "Thomas you choose!"

- "What have you done with Logan?!" "Nothing at all and I resent the question" weeeeeelp there goes loceit

- even Janus admits Patton is misleading unintentionally can we all calm down now

- I find it interesting that Thomas willingly stays behind Janus

- "Sure if he's in that kind of situation then of course he should focus on himself. But does he deserve it? I don't know." *Record scratch* excuse me wHAT?????? And like, you can't ignore the obvious symbolism behind that attack missing Janus and hitting Thomas. Thomas is knocked out and Patton just ... Keeps talking? Jesus fucking christ

- and Roman so adamantly attacking Janus has a very pre-AA vibe to it

- "Not that any of you care, but I am unharmed, and I don't want to talk about it." Thomas looks like the only one genuinely concerned when he says this and that hurts

- Janus looks so happy that Logan's backing him I wanna cry my baby aaaaaaa

- SOMEONE FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THE CHOICE ROMAN MADE AAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU can we stop acting like Janus is evil now please

- "Well when is it enough?!" ".... Trees?" I'm STILL LAUGHING SOMEONE HELP ME

- I'm so fucking happy Thomas doesn't agree with Roman about trusting Janus

- Roman laughing and saying Janus's name is stupid and Janus's jab about him and Remus just... Gutted me y'all. Thems some hurt boys. And he looks to Thomas and Patton and they just... Can't side with him, cause they know that was hella fucking rude of Roman.

- I genuinely believe that Janus's nod meant Thomas was telling the truth. Based on his facial expression (which was slight but idk I notice more stuff than most people apparently???) He was trying to reassure Roman. And Roman just... Took it the completely wrong way, because he still thinks all Janus does is lie. When Roman says "wow, I can't believe this" you can actually see Janus's smile disappearing, because he realizes Roman took the nod the wrong way

- aaaaand then he immediately goes into attacking Janus. *Sigh*

- "Everything's gonna be okay, kiddo. We love you." "*Scoff* Right." I truly believe the next video is gonna be about Roman, because there's no way in hell they could ignore the obvious hurt and self-deprecation coming off of Roman

- "Janus? Is there a limit to how many times a person can say sorry before you have to admit that they're just bad for you?" Patton was talking about himself. Whether Janus was trying too hard to be witty and missed that or what, his reply hurt Patton, and you can see that Janus realizes his mistake with Patton's reaction. We have to remember that this isn't a side who's used to how the others communicate, though. He doesn't spend time with them outside of the few videos he's shown up in because of how they treat him. It's gonna take him time to get the little things like this and until then there's gonna be a lot of hurt feelings and (hopefully) apologies

- Janus immediately backtracks once he realizes what the real question was and says "... it depends... How many things have they had to apologize for? How frequently do they have to apologize for things? How terrible were the things that they did? One of the biggest factors in my very humble opinion is whether or not they seem to be making an honest effort to do better" this is Janus trying to tell Patton "you aren't bad for Thomas. I see how hard you're trying. It's okay"

- you can totally see Janus realizing why Patton fights him so hard while Patton is explaining how hard shit's gotten as Thomas grows up

- "Janus?" "I'll take care of him" y'all I need the tissues

- Janus trying to lighten the mood with the whole push-someone-down-the-stairs thing just... Made me die laughing. Y'all know he's hella good at April fool's pranks okay? Okay

- "You're not stuck with an evil snake boy, you're just stuck with a snake boy" HES SUCH A DORK I LOVE HIM

- I reacted the exact same way to Thomas saying Janus was right omg

Again, I'm not saying I hate any of the characters, this is just a stream-of-consciousness analysis-and-commentary-type post on the new episode

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #363

(one more that’s a late upload from way earlier in the day, and i yet again don’t feel like updating the answers)

What brings out the worst in you? When I'm very anxious or having a PTSD episode, I can become very snappy and just not a joy to be around. What all did you eat today? This morning I had oatmeal, I had a rice cake as a snack, and lunch was ham and cheese on a tortilla. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No, I was a good kid. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Who was the last person you cried in front of? It was probably Mom. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I usually talk about them somewhere, like in surveys if I feel I can't with anyone else. Please be vocal with your feelings. It is so destructive to let them build up. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? I'm unsure. Do you know anyone that is gothic? A good number of people, myself included at least in spirit. ;~; I can't really afford good attire, nor do I have the patience for so much makeup maintenance. Have you seen UP? I actually haven't seen the full movie, but I'd like to. How is your mom? Stressed as fuck and tired of everything. What color hair does your mom have? She recently dyed it black. Her hair is growing back totally gray now and she hated it. She's gotten so self-conscious as she's aged. When was the last time you were told you were cute? Idk. Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? FUCK NO. Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? I tried it once and did not get the appeal. Did you have school/class today? No. My school endeavors are done. Do you have any paintings in your room? If so, of what? Yeah, I have my big painting of meerkats grooming above all my 'kat plushies. Have you ever had your photo professionally taken? As a child and by school photographers, anyway. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Like a week ago when we went to Ichiban for my sister's bday. Do you know how old your house is? No, I don't. Have you ever been described as ”adorable”? Yeah. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. They seem incredibly awkward to me?? Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? No. I can't do a job I hate for anything. I would be so depressed. Are you a moody person? Yes. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders' new episode of Resident Evil 8: Village. I'm deadass watching four different LPers play it, I'm only moderately obsessed lmao. What video game could you waste the most time on? WoW, given it has like a zillion different things to do. Yet I still get bored lmao. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe Ketchup? I think I use that for the most things. What is the worst thing that you have ever done? I don't feel like getting into this. How old were you when your parents gave you the "birds and the bees" talk? They didn't; I learned in my school's sex ed in the 5th grade. Have you ever questioned whether or not you'd benefit from therapy? I have benefited from it. What would you like it to say on your gravestone? Hypothetically, idk. But I'd rather be cremated. Would you ever wear real leather or animal fur? NO. Have you ever completely failed a year of school and had to repeat a grade? No. Have you ever been bitten by an animal that wasn't a cat or a dog? Which? I think my old baby iguana bit me once or twice, not that it was very painful at her young age. I can't recall another animal. What type of literature are you most likely to read? (book, magazine, etc) Books. Do you prefer using candles, wax melts, or incense? Incense. Are you someone who actually doesn't have a Facebook? No, I have one. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? I'm not really *active* in any; I just observe them and interact via "like"s. I'm actually in a whole lot of groups, though. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? Neither. Do you hear any animals right now? No. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I know and like a few songs, especially "Dear God." Do you like Batman? Yeah, I like his "refuse to murder" ideology. The only thing is I kinda have a bad connection attached to him, because Batman was Jason's thing. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? Yes. Does your house have a fireplace? Yeah actually, but it might be fake? I don't even know lol. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Have you ever dissected a baby pig in a class at school? Oh my god, no. I literally could never. I did dissect a frog in the 7th grade that wound up to be pregnant, though... I wasn't happy about it, but at the same time it was very interesting. Who is the last baby you held? My niece. Do you like Sunkist? The orange kind is fine, but the STRAWBERRY flavor? Jfc I love that shit. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? UM NO Do you have any scars from an animal? I have a lot of scars on my hands from playing with Roman. I scar extremely easily, so just his little scrapes leave marks. Have you ever seen an Igloo? No. Do you like Korn? Love 'em. How many animals do you have? Really two, but we have three in the house right now. Idk when this dog is going away. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Tornados. Ever rode in a helicopter? No. Do you like rabbits? Yes, they're adorable. Do you like mushrooms? NO. What was the last movie you cried at? I want to say Logan, but I'm not sure. I watch movies so rarely that I really don't know. Would you rather work for a small or large company? Small. I'd feel more useful. What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I don't know. Have you ever read the book 13 Reasons Why? Yeah. I thought it was good, but now I don't remember like... anything about it. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had apple and cinnamon oatmeal. How many times have you read your favorite book? Just once. I don't re-read books. Have you ever been on Omegle? No. Are you still in love with one of your exes? "In love," no. Do you think being born was a mistake? Yeesh, no. Has a relative ever been arrested? My psychotic uncle (by marriage) has been. Was it a serious crime? Quite honestly, I don't remember. I just know he's an angry and dangerous motherfucker. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Doubtful. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? I ponder over the possibility of being a research simulation, kind of like a much advanced version of The Sims, but I honestly doubt it. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? Therapy and medication saved me. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Fight me about Christopher Columbus Day. He didn't discover shit. Have you taken any writing classes? How about art? I've taken a writing course in college, and I've taken loads of art classes. What’s your all-time favourite band? How about all-time fave singer? Ozzy Osbourne; Freddie Mercury. What three songs do you want played at your funeral? Why those particular songs? "Like A Woman" by Alice Cooper, "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M., and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory. I just like them and find them suiting. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What is one superstition that freaks you out? Why is that? I’m not superstitious. Are either of your parents retired yet and if not, what do they do? No. Dad is a mailman, and while Mom doesn't ~officially~ work yet because she's recovering from intense cancer treatment, she very recently resumed lightly cleaning a church for a small payment. Kinda like a warmup. When did you or do you want to move out of your parents’ house? I wanna move out once I'm in a long-term, stable relationship with someone so we can live together. Me living alone is NOT a good idea. How do you like your current job, or if you’re unemployed, have you been looking for employment? I don't have a job, but when I go to my tattoo appointment, I'm going to ask them if they'd be interested in hiring someone for the front desk. I think it's def something I could do because I love the environment, there's really not that much I need to know (like where the Doritos are, dealing with exact change, answering a dozen unique questions), it's not insanely busy, and the occasional phone call would challenge my anxiety and just be a minor inconvenience to me until I got used to it. My partial hospitalization program really got me wanting to fight back against what gives me anxiety, to truly expose myself to what scares me, while not going totally overboard with it. It was encouraging to hear my therapist there thought it was a magnificent idea for me. I decided I wanted to ask while at the parlor getting work done to show serious interest (like I'm not just some random chick walking in and asking for a job), as well as let the people warm up to me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but damn am I wishing. I want it so badly. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken shots.

[semi-imaginary-place]

gamers have no rights

SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION

Oh and Minato actually using crude (like he always speaks very politely)  speech for the last big shot was a good moment. i rather like minato  and you can  see how dear kaburagi is to him. Minato gets Kaburagi put on mod duty instead of being destroyed or sentenced to life at the waste facility. Minato then stops Kaburagi from getting destroyed a second time and even keeps his avatar which would have gotten him killed. and he does all this without Kaburagi asking him, without Kaburagi ever knowing. Minato in the finale then risks annihilation to see kaburagi in the finale and is willing to gamble his life by staying in deca-dence to execute the plan. if he hadn’t helped, kaburagi would almost certainly be destroyed by the bubble wipe. Minato just wants to be near Kaburagi and be a part of his life. me in the distance: “gaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy”

when the admins threw donatello into the poop jail, did no one think to take the arm gun?

Yuzuru Tachikawa  has a lot of good stuff. death parade, mob psycho 100 II, assistant director for zankyo no terror.

once a limiter is released, can you put it back on?

http://decadence-anime.com/en/ incase the website ever goes down and i have to use the wayback machine

5.5: ok so i did forget the part where they say that Solid Quake and the other mega corps manufacture the cyborgs. ah and the cyborgs are also property of Solid Quake. real last stage capitalist dystopia. and some cyborgs’ job is to play the mmo. Like the company mandates download of the game upon cyborg activation. yeah if solid quake has the resources to manage a population of squishy monsters and have absolute control of all matter in the bubble they totally could have dealt with the air pollution on the rest of the planet. There’s also at least 4 other structures/companies on the planet. I wonder what they are up to. i was wondering about the ruins, so they were made as set pieces/background art for the post apocalyptic story.

so cyborgs did originally have their roots in biological humans. but currently and all the ones we see are assembled by Solid Quake. I wonder about the cyborg cores, they have the same green glow as oxyone. And one of the characters (minato? kaburagi?) says that cores aren’t controlled by Solid Quake, so the cyborgs have free will.

So I doubt minato ever switched departments though I guess its possible, meaning when he says he wants to fight along side kaburagi again he means this metaphorically, he wants to be able to once against work towards the same goal as kaburagi side by side. Also Minato calls Kaburagi “Kabu” no honorifics or anything and the subtitles bastardize this into just “Kaburagi”

they ended up making a game that involves throwing around a cyborg core. isn’t that a little...

Though everyone helped out a little, the finale was all about helping kaburagi where as I would have preferred something like everyone working and changing the system rather than kaburagi having a chat and the deca dence system letting him do what he wants. but I suppose that’s a hook for season 2. So seen on its own deca-dence has a good solid ending but not a spectacular one. But I am so glad it has a good ending, you don’t know how many shows have gotten my hopes up in the first couple episodes only to fizzle out and flop. I am so happy this show stuck the landing even if there was a little wobble.

I watched all of Deca-Dence in one sitting and wow do I love this show. It's just a good solid show. There's no weak point, each episode is solid, the writing is good, the animation is striking, and most importantly the show holds itself together throughout its entire run.

funny thing is. When I first saw the promo material for this anime back in spring of 2020 i went like ”ugggg not another one of these” where the remnants of humanity fight against annihilation at the hands of some monsters like shingeki no kyoujin or kabaneri of the iron fortress mostly because I’m been thinking a lot on compassion for the Other and a lack of that combined with propaganda about how the Other is a threat to the existence of the in-group forms the basis of a lot of modern facism and white supremacy groups that justify their existence against an imaginary threat use this same kind of logic framing themselves as the last bastions of humanity (whiteness) against a monstrous other (muslims, immigrants, ethnic minorities, usually people of color/not white people). Now the premises of humanity fighting against annihilation by monsters in of itself isn’t necessarily racist, but after a year where violent racism exploded against asian americans and BLM had a lot of attention, my mind can’t help but be in that space. However by the time I watched Deca-Dence on January 25, 2021 I had completely forgotten everything and anything about the show. All I remembered was some people crying about it on tumblr and twitter whose posts I skipped over once I realized they were about a show I hadn’t seen. So I went into this with a completely blank slate, I didn’t know that this was scifi, or that there was a giant fortress city, I didn’t know that Kaburagi was featured in the promos alongside Natsume, and I didn’t know we would be fighting monsters. But the first episode was just so well directed that I was excited for a second one despite the premises, and also i was still processing that last shot when i clicked the next episode button. It was the second episode that sold this show for me.

Oh I totally forgot to talk about natsume’s arm and how the show handle’s disability. Also I don’t have a prosthetic so take this with a gain of salt. Natsume occasionally feels self conscious about her prosthetic arm since people will comment on it and it adds barriers in her life, disqualifying her from joining The Power and making it more difficult to adjust the nozzle on her pack. She has added struggles in her life that others don’t, but the show never portrays her as lesser for it, its just something she has to consider and work around in her life. The line about how its not her weakness, but her power was a good line. And she literally turned it into a weapon, that’s so cool.

Corporations generate capital for the enrichment of their shareholders. But in the world of deca-dence there are no shareholders at the end of the pipeline. The machinery of the capitalist firm continues to spin, squeezing out as much cheap or free labor as possible, and acquiring assets, but for nothing and no one. Its a system made to benefit the Few, but whose beneficiaries no longer exist (or at least we never see them in the anime). The exploitation of the Tankers and cyborgs serve no purpose but to continue the existence of Solid Quake and its system.

dissonance grieving tankers at funeral to cyborgs chatting about how fun the last raid event was. bright cartoony artstyle to the dystopia of neoliberal capitalism (and the labor camp). the cheery game trailer and company intro style exposition for the apocalypse.

The reason the ending was only good instead of spectacular is because it doesn’t engage with the themes laid down in earlier episodes enough. The ending provides an emotionally fulfilling ending for its characters but only a lukewarm one for late-stage capitalism. There’s two narratives going on in Deca-Dence. The personal narrative told through Natsume and Kaburagi about learning to try again, improve yourself, make your own decisions, live on your own terms, and push your limits. Then there’s the secondary narrative about overcoming structures and systems of oppression. The anime team did a great job at the first one, but kinda meh about the second one. When we are introduced to the people of Deca-Dence we see them stratified into classes like Gear/cyborg and Tanker. However this is a false narrative perpetuated by Solid Quake to maintain its control of both groups, after all Solid Quake owns both the cyborgs and the Tankers as literal property. Ideally the Tankers and cyborgs would realize the divide between them is false and team up to tear down not only Solid Quake but the systems that allowed mega corps to exist in the first place and build more equitable and just social systems. And we do get some of this in the ending with changes in how Solid Quake is run (no more punishment of “bugs”, got rid of the gulag), but all this is shoved to the background. Essentially management and company policy changed but the fact that the corporation or its structures exists, didn’t. I can't tell if its deliberate or not though. Its common with single cour anime to leave dangling plot threads as a bid to the funding for a second season and most of them never do. So I can see it like that, but eh I still never liked this approach. Its also a limitation of the single cour instead of being produced as a 24 ep anime where they would have had lime to develop that second narrative.

[monochrome-monarch]

Tthis took longer than expected buuut

Guess who finally gave in to making fankids again?

Am I being original yet, ma? Also, Idk how to draw babies so here have hem at their adult forms with little bad doodles of them as babbies

I know, The names aren't the best but they're stand ins until I find better names. Except Alphard. Alphard sounds cool and has meaningful name all over it, dude.

Anyway, here are some notes regarding these kids:

Lepittra

- Name is from the name Lepidoptra, the order where Moths belong to

- She's a bit bigger and bulkier than Mothra and sadly my art doesn't portray it well but still significantly smaller than Godzilla.

- Probably has gills but wings are definitely water resistant. Larva stage likely has gills, tho I guess

- Dorsals, Eyes and Wings light up when charging up and firing

- Might get a fankid sibling if I'm feeling productive or creative. However, regarding her parents' canon children, Lep is sorta like the Megan to Minya and Mothra Leo's Drake and Josh. Still cares about them, tho

- Rather peaceful and keeps to herself. Almost borders distant as she ignores humans and has no interest of starting a cult (however she is kinda interested in continuing her mother's cult) but doesn't mind them as long as they don't provoke her in anyway. Has a pretty long fuse so it's hard to piss her off, though.

- Isn't much to interfere with human affairs and mostly ignores them, unless A) One or Both parents are involved and/or B) Her mother's followers are being threatened or attacked.

- Plays peacekeeper/tired mom friend with her mom but will fight when desperate times call for desperate measures. Prefers intimidating the enemy into standing down but, again, will fight if necessary.

- Mommy and Daddy's Little Princess but they will call her out when she steps out of line

- Loves lamps and other bright lights

- Either fires atom blasts or light blasts, whichever works but will stick with atomic blasts for now

- Can reincarnate like her mom

- Has an unexpected friendship with the Three-Headed Heir with a lot of expected reactions and controversy buuuut Lep doesn't care much. Also is more or less the trio's impulse control. Will still kick their ass if they do anything destructive

Alphard

All Three

- Name is from the name Alphard, the brightest star in the Hydra constellation. Also, the word Alpha is there so

- Is small compared to Rodan and Ghidorah but they're still growing. Derecha is impatiently waiting lol

- They're gonna be three-headed because I wanted to be unique but I added a two-headed option because I was feeling a bit curious

- Strangely, the heads look different from each other. Then again, could be because they're a hybrid

- They either breath fire or gravity beams, might change but will kinda stick to fire for now

- Can regenerate but strangely, Izquierda's horn is regenerating in a slower pace than usual

- Speaking of Iz's broken horn, the three of them refuse to spill on how it got broken

- Can so far only start up hurricanes when they fly but there are hints of lightning there so there's a chance that they can start up storms

- Heads spend more time bickering than doing anything serious or destructive but when they agree on something, they would put their heads together haha and make for a scary team until something goes wrong in an also sitcom like fashion

- Can survive intense heat and is seen lazing around in lava more than once

- Has an unexpected friendship with the Little Princess with a lot of expected reactions and controversy buuuut the trio doesn't care much. Also is more or less her bodyguards(???).

Derecha

- Name is the Spanish word for Right

- The one head that takes after Ghidorah more

- Angry and aggressive, jokingly referred to as his parents' combined rage in titan form. Will fight anyone, even his parents and other heads but he never wins, especially against his parents since his other heads don't have a death wish. Also the only head who would gladly fight Godzilla at the Area 51 parking lot. Respects fighters, even if they lose, though.

- Despite his firey nature, he cares about his loved ones and would fight tooth and claw for them even if he does fight them a lot. Reacts even more erratic and angrier when anyone the heads gets beheaded. Loyal af, however, will follow you no matter who the Alpha is or what the Alpha says. He's never much for obeying authority, anyway

- While he's wild, he does, reluctantly, follow Centro's orders but will gleefully participate when Centro and Izquierda are in a mood for destruction

- Distrustful towards anything that doesn't remotely look like his parents or siblings. Hates humans and has breath fire at any humans or human vehicles that come too close or was at the wrong place at the wrong time

- Not the smartest head but he is by no means stupid and is actually quite a quick-thinker and makes decent, pragmatic decisions

- Doesn't care much about ruling the monsters or destroying/terraforming the Earth, he just wants to fight. Becoming king of the monsters or destroying the Earth is merely a bonus

- Is pretty annoyed that he isn't center head/leader and makes it known. Dislikes Centro's 'passiveness' and 'laidback' nature and wants him to show his true colors and act on his destructive tendencies more. Encourages Iz's trigger happy tendencies but does feel bad if he goes too far. Has no idea how to calm him but tries

Centro

- Name is the Spanish word for Center

- The head that's a nice balance of both parents or well, I hope he does

- Is seemingly the 'nicer' head. He seems pretty easygoing and laidback, uninterested in wrecking havoc. Doesn't pick fights with any of the other titans or attacks any human settlements, hell, he's even friends with the Princess. Doesn't even mind humans approaching him. Seems to be rather indifferent and content with minding his own business.

- However, He doesn't mind wrecking havoc, either, especially if he and his heads would get some benefits from this, even if it's something as petty as relieving boredom. He doesn't care how much destruction they cause, if they get something out of it, then who cares? He does, however have some standards but its mostly just "We won't get anything out of this."

- Openly cares about his loved ones, especially his brothers, even if they fight a lot and he wants to dunk their heads in lava

- Is rather laidback in how he reigns in Der and Iz. He mostly lets them do their own thing but he does pull them by the horn when they're getting too wild/stupid, mostly Der. He's usually the one that calms Iz down, especially when their parents aren't around

- Interested in becoming King of the Monsters and maybe terraforming the Earth, having no interest in destroying their only home, but is waiting for the perfect time to strike. Is also lowkey kinda scared of Godzilla but hahaha, as if he'll ever admit it

Izquerda

- Name is Spanish for Left

- Head that takes after Rodan more

- Curious if cautious, wants to explore but is paranoid, knows very well that in any moment, they might die because of their parentage. Thinks everything and everyone is out to get them. Is rather trigger happy because of it but luckily, he only fires really, really close warning shots

- The incident where his horn got broken made it worse, especially as his horn is growing back slower than normal. Really adamantly refuses to say how his horn got busted

- Feels safer and calmer when around family and friend. Lepittra is the only outsider he trusts. He's calm around his brothers but if they're both beheaded or if he's the only conscious head, he'd start becoming erratic and get closer to a breakdown.

- Is more cheerful and calm when not being scared. Chatty too, only shuts up when he gets scared and paranoid again. Also shown to be focused and a quick-learner when not panicking.

- The mediator between Der and Cen's arguments, as Der only encourages fights between Cen and Iz and Cen doesn't intervene immediately. . . But that is if Iz isn't arguing with them too. Then Leppitra is called in. And butts their heads together

- Distrustful towards humans. Has seen what they can do and speculated on what they are capable of but isn't stupid enough to kill. Only warning shots. Not destructive but will still participate if Cen is on board

- Kinda interested in becoming King of the Monsters? He knows it's their birthright or whatever but he's definitely scared of Godzilla. More interested in terraforming the planet, though but well, he can't if he's not king of the monsters so "Ugh, fine!"

[rgr-pop]

i unfortunately (due to, am broke) am going to be in the market for some new powders in a few months! powders are cool because i use them up--amazing, the panners were right. so here is a post on my powder usage. (for newer followers interested in makeup talk: i do not wear foundation but i do conceal pretty much every time i go out, i have only mild dark circles with significant variation on account of i sleep only sometimes, and okay-to-normal dry skin that is finicky and about which i am reasonably self conscious. i’m a dry in a dry land.)

i cannot say i have ever purchased a setting or finishing powder in my life, and it has only been a year or a year and a half since i have been using either regularly. powders made their way into my daily life because youtube rotted my brain about how much i have to do to my skin, but it’s interesting because my increase in powder use coincided with a sea change on youtube (at least among the marginally-hip youthful medium hurus, who i follow a lot of), a move against powders in favor of dewier low-coverage looks that wear away naturally. i have not found that powder usage impedes these qualities in my own makeup use, and while i respect the techniques of these hurus (and implement many of them) i characterize this as one of many subtly homophobic beautube backlashes going on right now. i do not necessarily find that powder intensifies the condition or appearance of dryness, and i do not experience cakiness. i am, like everyone under the influence of the huru brain worm, at least a moderate user of oil or glycerin based “setting” sprays. i like the versatility of powdering, and i find powder particularly useful for keeping my watery eyeballs from ruining my whole face. i do not do anything difficult or strenuous ever, but i do expect the upper half of my face to hold its makeup for the duration of whatever it is that i wear it for, and i always find that my makeup looks okay (slightly smudged and faded but acceptable) at ten or twelve hours. this is one benefit of not wearing foundation.

here is an overview of the powders i have had and what i’m looking for:

tarte’s “smooth operator” amazonian clay pressed setting powder. i have had this for years. is it a mini, or just small? where did it come from? i think free with something, years ago. can i tell you what kind of good skin privilege i had? when i got this--YEARS ago, five years ago??--i wasn’t precisely sure what to do with a “setting powder.” i was very makeup literate about everything except for doing things to your skin, because i never did anything to my skin, either because it was  perfect or our culture was less hellish (a little of both). it is just lucky that i ended up purchasing the concealer that is supposed to go with this item that i had acquired for free. they work beautifully together and used wisely i never experience anything like creasing, cakiness, migration, transfer of eye makeup including mascara. not ever, nothing like this. this concerns me, i am worried that i have gone and gotten myself reliant on an expensive powder. and it turns out that high end powders are expensive! (the concealer, which i cannot imagine using up in two years, is $26 and i got it during the sale, the powder, which i would imagine would last me the same amount of time, is $35). as a non-foundation wearer with skincare literacy (no offense rich girls who buy vitamin c), i am not accustomed to spending that kind of money on a “practical” item, only fun color cosmetics, or perfume, either of which would last me typically my entire life. lipsticks, blushes, highlighters, maybe a palette, etc. i would be tempted to buy this powder again, however the drive to educate myself on the world of powder is telling me not to! so i will not.

a loose silica hd powder from modelco or city colour or jcat or something, i am not going upstairs to check. i am not going to use this item up anytime soon, but i do like having it on hand. it came in a subscription service back when i did those. i do not believe that just a silica hd powder is the kind of product you need to invest a lot of money in, flashback or no. i am not precise enough in application to use this powder on my undereyes--i tend to sweep it into my eye wrinkles and then i get eye crease flashback in mood or retail lighting (the only kind of atmospheres i am ever in). i am unsure whether i would have this issue (being unable to get away with imprecise dusting) with other loose powders for the undereye, and i’m curious to confront this problem! i can lightly pat and then lazily dust around my eyes with a pressed powder because it is not as airborne. but is this lightness a problem with all loose powders, or just the cloudy silica ones? unsure. i’m overall not worried about facial flashback if i were to set my cheeks or something with this, because my skin is already quite literally flashback colored, so who cares. but there is nothing elegant about this kind of product and i do not need it.

this pressed color correcting powder palette from elf. wow i have had a journey with this item, which i have had for years! i got this because lucas s*******ed it for me one year. he would always choose the weirdest things! he is still like that. i had no idea what to do with this--and i still wonder about such a product. for a long time i believed pretty strongly that your color correcting product should be your cream base product, combined with a translucent or skin toned powder. but the yellow and green in here have been very useful to me, once i figured out what to do with them, so i was wrong. the yellow is an adequate undereye powder when my purple is more pronounced and i’m using a less-yellow or low-coverage undereye concealer, such as today! i really am a believer in the low-coverage but quite-yellow undereye for me (color correction instead of coverage), but with this powder it is easy to go overboard and become noticeably yellow, so i have to use restraint. i would be interested in trying a pale yellow pressed powder from the drugstore to replace this one--i will not buy this product because i have never used the blue or the pink. (when yellow and green are used up, i will probably mix them together and try them as a spot setting powder, given that my natural tone is “pink and blue” anyway.) i think i will probably buy something like this essence banana powder--people say they love essence powders. it may be a little warmer than what i’d prefer but for the price it would be worth it. there is also a banana powder backlash on the wind that i disagree with! overall a color correcting backlash that i find misguided and racially concerning! anyway, it’s the green in this elf product that i have loved. i heavily conceal my jawline with concealers that fix + powders, to cover redness that is just the color that i am there, and to lock it in place because i touch my face a lot. i like this area kinda blanked out to heighten the impact of blush. i do a similar thing to my upper lip area when it is all inflamed, as it has been. a pale green powder is very good for this and i would like to buy another one--cheap is fine because i do not need any kind of elegance here, as long as it is pale. this looks just perfect and if it is that price in store i will pick it up soon. i also like to use green-leaning pale concealers for this purpose, but that is another topic for another time!

the bare minerals mineral veil, i think it was. i had a couple of minis of this that had been my mother’s, and i finally used them all up, as finishing powders. this was just okay, but i am VERY into finishing powder techniques for my personal face, somewhat like this. i am very interested in using a probably-too-illuminating powder all over my entire face. perhaps even to set my undereyes, like jaclyn hill does with lancome absolue peche. people still call her insane for doing it but i think she is brave and can i tell you how badly i want that powder?? badly. the unfortunate thing is: what i need is a luxury--like, not even high end, luxury--finishing powder; and loose powders get used up so quickly... like, i cannot even allow myself to try the hourglass loose setting powders because i know i will love them and they will own me for life. but when you look at it like that, maybe i should finally get my dumb ass the ambient lighting powders? i would absolutely set my undereyes with them like a fucking despot vampire king. it would really work for me. so yes i definitely need to get my hands on absolue peche and figure out which ambient lighting powder i’d need :[.

okay! so what’s the deal about loose vs pressed powders? like i said, a lot of the hurus are going powderless now just as i’m getting serious about subtle powdering, but even other huru/muas i usually take advice from are swearing by loose powders when i’m into pressed powder! what’s the truth? what is good? powder me

[henriettaprophet-blog]

|| elle fanning, cisfemale, she/her || ( henrietta ‘henri’ prophet ) is a ( twenty ) year old ( sophomore ) at rockport university studying ( english + communications ). people say they are ( ritzy ) but also ( intractable ), and remind others of ( diamond-encrusted lighters, puppy dog pouts, baby pink stiletto nails ). bet they sure didn’t expect anyone to know about ( her hit-and-run accident in a stolen getaway car ) but someone does, and ( henrietta ) better cooperate if they plan to keep their lives. || james, 20, EST ||

hello! i am james (she/they) and first up is my lil troublemaker, henri !!!! pls love her and me thank u bye

henri’s pinterest is HERE ! it explains her sm better than i can

tw: hit and run

general info:

full name: henrietta eloise prophet

nickname(s): henri, etta, hen

b.o.d.: april 19th

label(s): the baby doll, the hellion, the icarcian, the minx, the prevaricator, etc.

height: 5′7″

hometown: syracuse, new york

sexuality: chaotically bisexual

biography:

awfully middle class, born and raised in new york

her dad’s a salesman for car parts with a small empire and her mother’s an accountant

an only child, minus her childhood cat (r i p socks); raised in a classic american suburban home with a white picket fence and two whole stories

and henri’s never been satisfied with it

she’s pretty much been a manipulative troublemaker since birth

it didn’t help that her parents spoil her; what henri wants, henri gets. no questions asked.

has left claw marks on her fellow students whenever somebody else wanted to be the queen during play time, or when somebody tried to take her favorite toys, or well...whenever henri got upset, really

like...man, could henri throw tantrums like no other. i mean hours of her screaming and crying until somebody gives into her

her parents are either blind to her antics or just straight up scared of henri, because homegirl has aggression like no other

anYWAYs she grew up in a normal home in a normal neighborhood with a normal day-to-day life

god, did it bore her

even when she created drama for her own amusement; i.e. spread a rumor that the head cheerleader in her high school had gotten chlamydia and the poor lass was bullied so badly she transferred (leaving the captain position to good ol’ henri, of course) or accidentally tripped the lead actress in her school musical off the stage and left her in a neck brace so her understudy (cough, henry, cough) had to take over

it just was never enough, because all henri ever had to do was bat her eyelashes and flaunt her pink lil skirts around and they’d hop right off her dick

wanted to be famous, or at the very least rich; to live in the lap of luxury in her furs and diamonds

but without any of the actual effort, ofc.

started stealing shit in high school; from her ‘friends’ houses at first, just small shit that henri wanted for herself

once that thrill wore down she evolved into shoplifting, which was...much more dangerous, and made henri love it all the more so.

often got her friends involved, usually as bait or distractions from lil’ old henri as she swiped objects

like to keep a long story short, henri’s been stealing for...a good amount of years now, from various places

has probably stolen her parent’s credit cards (and her teacher’s....and her coworker’s....etc. etc.) a few times to buy real expensive shit online

she’s only gotten arrested like, a handful of times okay

one spring break, her senior year of high school, henri and her pals had flown to california to do some...shopping, and celebrity stalking, and other normal teenage girl shenanigans

to keep another long story short; they had broken into a celebrity’s home, stolen a buncha designer shit; and when they heard sirens? they stole one of the cars and took off

henri was driving, ofc. she wouldn’t let anybody else drive her getaway car, especially not that real nice sports car...

in the adrenaline of it all, henri ran into a biker full-on and almost skirted off the road.

luckily, for henri, she regained control of the car and...kept driving, without even looking back and despite her friends screaming in her ear

god only knows how they abandoned the car and made it back to their hotel, unscathed, only to hear about a nasty hit and run resulting in a death on the news.

they went back to new york the next day; none of them have spoken up about it. especially not henri. perhaps she’s why none of them spoke up?

anyways, she went to rockport to escape the small amount of guilt in her conscious

decided to lie about her childhood too, says her dad’s the ceo of a car parts company instead of just a salesman, her mother’s a dead broadway starlight, etc. etc. whatever made henri look richer than she was. 

also, partially, so people didn’t question where she got all her designer shit. 

went abroad because that’s what she mcfuckin’ deserves. probably stole her daddy’s credit card too.

also is fucking trash at school, is probably sleeping with people to do her assignments for her.

her goal in life is to acquire a sugar daddy, or multiple, and to marry an especially old one so that they die and leave her with all of his money. <3

personality:

her favorite color is pink and u will not forget it. she appreciates sparkles, furs, jewels, etc. etc. just everything cute and designer and expensive.

anyways she’s the kinda gal where you could be in an intense argument with her and next thing y’know, y’all are fucking. OR, alternately, she’s got a knife pressed against your neck. OR, alternately AGAIN; both. probably both

that being said; henri can come off as pretty..bubbly, ditzy, cute and innocent, with all the hair-twirling and fake laughter. her voice has a permanent innocent tone to it

but ultimately, she’s a bitch. incredibly stubborn, if you cross her once she’ll hate you for life and there’s nothing you could do about it

she may still act like she likes you, but, nah.

still expects to get what she wants and she will still throw a tantrum if she doesn’t get it. doesn’t really take no as an answer?

her mood shifts often, maybe too often, it doesn’t take much to tick her off.

pretty manipulative, often uses people for what she wants

she isn’t...book smart, but she’s pretty damn intelligent in other aspects

a selfish lil brat tbh

only looks out for herself, will betray u the moment she sees an opportunity that benefits herself, and is over all pretty remorseless

she feels intensely but she also refuses to believe that she’s ever in the wrong. represses any emotions related to sadness, or anything that’ll just dampen her mood.

doesn’t bother to hide that part of her, either. let it be known that she’ll use you

she always has a knife on her, and a lighter, and a credit card that likely isn’t hers. those are her three essentials.

suuuper destructive, will not hesitate to ruin your life or her own tbh

will do anything at least once, or twice, maybe even three times

morals? what r morals?

a day drinker; constantly high off of god know’s what, and really...any vice? she’s got it.

is a l w a y s partying, even if it’s just her

i wouldn’t call her hypersexual but like...homegirl’s got a very high sex drive and is probably out here fuckin’ multiple times a day

but yeah no she’s not a very empathetic person like...if you’re going thru some shit? henri doesn’t give a fuck

she’ll probably use it against you to guilt u into doing something for her, honestly

considers herself untouchable, and is pretty willing to do anything to keep herself free from death or arrest or anything, y’know ??

has a very big ego, too. like. god. she think she’s the shit. acts like it.

erratic, irrational, can get VERY POSSESSIVE and JEALOUS of pals, people she’s fucking. etc. etc. if she doesn’t like the person your talking to you will Know

a big ol’ fuckin’ liar

wanted connections:

literally.....anything.....just hmu

like alriGHT

gimme FUCK BUDDIES of VARIOUS SORTS.

really MANIPULATIVE relationships on either end, probably henrietta’s

maybe a few friends w/ similar interests of glam n glitz n beauty

e n e m i e s - let henri try and fucking strangle u, b/c i s2g she’ll try if she hates you

like just people to get into cat fights turned knife fights with

maybe a ride or die ?? a best friend of sorts ??

let her use people

but really i am down for anything.

EXES ? maybe ??

pleathe. let’s brain storm...together

[treessixtynursery]

The best plants that smell like marijuanas

We can't stop snorting smiles because we are still through our caffeine haze from the day, like an army of leopard-print A-woks as we check out the succulent marihuana we found on the other side of the gettyphone-charging-cone. It's claimed it smells like marihuana, so we think we might be smart with our new vocabularies. Instead of declaring True Colors, we might call them fucund, hemp, or mindplant.

Just hang on to it.

marijuanas plants? Not that thing?

Meanwhile, marijuanas plants whenever we change our name it makes us even more of a schmuck, but bear with me. Been running around with the idea that poi with dogs, a shopping mall romance, and a history of installing cringe taking forever to register on our SLAss? It's only a matter of time. As we, by various confusions, had carved out the doomed, miscarriage of self-assurance previously marketed by the absurd sensation that goes viral every summer, it seemed kinda silly to go to any kind of trouble to reverse things. But the self-conscious nagging of our whimsical self at nagging tweens that still can't spell luau, monstrosity, and tropical is just weird. We're past resisting that feeling.

A person can only be plants that smell like marijuanas by their own self. Ever experienced the benefit of being a person? When you really let it go and help it go and learn to not put yourself in situations where you inevitably do whatever, it all becomes much easier, and no matter how hard it is to go, it's all okay. Because we're starting the moment for you.

Here you go: Lovely marihuana. Not your ability to smell like party boy supreme, either. Can you imagine a revolutionary new hit single, like Anna Kendrick-laced by a luscious, acid rain-speckled shot of marijuana, where uplifting danceable beats paired with a relaxed, golden buzzy odor overcome at any angle absolutely makes you wanna be The Drunk Fast-Faster Sensation Walking Everywhere Everywhere Around Your Inn? How easy would that be? Sounds like the star of the show, huh? Everybody's every pop culture sensation can hold their head high. Eat.

At any rate, since ketchup? Although we're still not on the anti-ingredients bandwagon, yes. We went for the real thing, THC, one of the top priorities of getting it like  clones los Angeles. I saw on the commercials before the election. Want it but I already have some mason jars of it? Of course you do. Over to you. Yeah? Please do. How to remove the urine filled mason jars without vomiting at a mass of undetermined spores and cannibalizing our tiny brains. “I am now a plant that wants to pull a 2 Wheeler through your new mason jars. Gett this Mule everywhere.” But no. Not really, not really at all. Kind of like a shit naked lamp they provide for the comic relief in this post—immense, it's on Craigslist now. Want some gol

[dragonasheswrites-blog]

The Heaven We Didn’t Choose, Chapter 12: In Which Leaves are Crunched

...And Sans starts to realize just how lost he is.

First: Chapter 1: In Which a Child Makes a Friend

Previous: Chapter 11: In Which Dinner is Delivered

Next: Chapter 13: In Which Nothing Good Lasts Forever

Click here for the story overview.

Saturdays, Sans decided, were breathtakingly beautiful when caring for Attie.  Not quite as good as Sundays, but amazing all the same.

He was laying on his bare mattress, eye sockets barely open, looking at his phone.

“9:05,” said his phone screen.

Beautiful.

He didn’t have to go to his hot dog stand (or any of his other jobs) because he was watching Attie.  Boss and Undyne did something with the Royal Guard on Saturday mornings, so they were both occupied.  Attie hadn’t had a nightmare, so she was still asleep in Boss’s room.  It was just Sans, his phone, and a lazy Saturday morning.

He quickly crushed the thought.  He had too much bad karma for it to last-

Ding!

Aaaand there it was.  He reluctantly tapped the message notification on his phone.

Bundle of Joy 9:06 AM Hello Mistr Sans!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You 9:07 AM Hey kid

Bundle of Joy 9:08 AM Are you awake?????

You 9:11 AM Nah

Bundle of Joy 9:12 AM Okay!!!!!!

There was a long pause.  A few reckless birds that hadn’t flown south for the winter were making some kind of racket outside the window, but he decided to consider it a comforting reminder of being on the surface rather than an annoyance.  His eye sockets had started to slide shut again when-

Tap tap tap tap taptapTAPTAP

He curled in on himself, willing away the sound of tiny approaching footsteps from the hallway.

The door to his room creaked open slowly.   Painfully slowly.  He could feel Attie’s eyes on him, but she insisted on opening the door one millimeter at a time.  It was an amateur mistake; there was no way he could see the door in his current position so sudden movements weren’t a concern, and opening the door slowly made the squeaking long, loud, and obvious.  She would’ve been better off opening it quickly, hiding, then sneaking in through the open door when his guard was down.

The urge to tell her all this faded after a moment.  He just hoped she’d go away.

“I know you’re not really sleeping, Mr. Sans,” she whispered.  She whispered like Boss did: loud enough to raise dust.

He stayed quiet.

“Okay.  I’m gonna go make a peanut butter waffle like you showed me yesterday.”

“Yer not allowed t’use th’ toaster without a grown-up,” he grumbled.

“Then you should probably come and help me?”

“Not the way it works.”

He knew she was pouting.

“Hey.  Why don’tcha give me...hmm...another five minutes, then we can make breakfast.”

She made a funny noise that sounded excited, but he wasn’t curious enough to figure out how she did it.  “Okay!  I’ll wait back in Mr. Papyrus’s room!”

The pitter-patter of little feet disappeared back down the hallway.  Sans noticed that she’d left his bedroom door pointedly open.

Exactly four minutes and fifty-two seconds later, he rolled himself off the mattress.  He landed on the floor next to it with a dull thump and a clatter of bones, and gingerly pushed himself upright.  A beeping noise from down the hallway made him grin; he’d shown Attie how to use the timer function on her phone for cooking purposes, and she used it for everything she could now.

The kid herself appeared a moment later.  “Are you awake?” she asked, cocking her head at him.

“Ugh, yeah.”

“Great!!”  She bounced on her toes.

“...Let’s go make you peanut butter waffles.”

“Okay!”

Sans still felt half asleep, but he managed to get a pair of waffles out of the back of the freezer (where he’d hidden them from Boss) and into the toaster.  Attie had perched herself on the counter with the peanut butter, eating it by the spoonful.

“Attie, I’m pretty sure your mom wouldn’t be happy about you doin’ that.”

“But you’re not my mom.”

“...Fair enough.  But you hafta eat all your breakfast.”

“Okay!”

He started a pot of coffee.  The human internet was a wonderful source of information: he’d been able to find clear instructions (with pictures!!) on how to operate and clean Boss’s fancy coffee machine within seconds of searching for it.  Coffee went a long way towards improving Undyne’s mood, so he’d been getting up a few minutes early to start a pot before she showed up each morning.  It was a self-defense measure.  The idea of having a whole pot of coffee to himself, instead of sharing it with a fish-faced Royal Guard, was tantalizing.

“Can I try some coffee?”  Attie asked.  She’d started asking every morning after Undyne praised the benefits of caffeine once too many.

Sans responded as he always did: “Gotta ask your mom.  Besides, I think you’re crazy enough as it is.”

“Okay!”

The waffles popped out of the toaster and Sans put them on plates.  (He would have happily eaten his right out of the toaster, but Attie insisted on the plates.)  His little helper spread peanut butter on each waffle, then handed one to Sans.

“Bone appetit,” she said, face solemn.

“And to you.”  He saluted her with his waffle.

He finished his quickly and texted Frisk a picture of Attie, slightly melted peanut butter oozing through her fingers and onto her plate.  A good four texts in, he remembered that Frisk was actually conscious now and reading her messages, and by then he’d already rambled on about peanut butter and waffles longer than any self-respecting monster would admit to.

The advantage of having the house to himself was that Attie could take her time getting dressed.  He’d figured out last Saturday that she liked wearing strange color combinations that even he - a complete fashion heathen - knew looked bad together.  He indulged her for most of the morning until she got tired of changing clothes and wound up in a red and blue striped shirt and jeans.

“How do you want your hair?” he asked, once she was dressed and bouncing around the living room.

Attie was prepared for this question.  She pulled her phone out of the pocket of her jeans, opened a web page, and showed it to him.  “I want this one!  ...Please.”

“That looks a little complicated.  Sure you wanna sit still that long?”

“Yyyyep!”

“Okay, but you asked for it.”

The hairstyle was the most intricate one she’d asked for yet.  The picture showed a little girl’s hair braided along her hairline in a kind of circlet shape.  ‘Crown braid,’ the instructions called it.

Sans gave a mental shrug.  It didn’t look like any crown he’d ever seen, but humans were strange.

It took half an hour of pulled hair and false starts, but he managed to get Attie’s hair woven and pinned into the desired shape.  “Done,” he said, collapsing back onto the couch.

“Thank you!” she yelled over her shoulder as she dashed down the hallway to the bathroom.  A squeal told him that she’d seen herself in the bathroom mirror and either really liked his work...or was very upset.  He was willing to bet on the former, but there had been that incident with the French braid...

The smile on her face when she finally reappeared was contagious.  “Thank you, Mr. Sans!” she said.  “I look really beautiful like a real princess!”

“Uh...aren’t you kinda a princess?  I know your mom is, ‘cause her parents are the king ‘n queen.”

She tilted her head to the side.  “I don’t know.  I don’t get to go to the big parties and everything, and no one calls me ‘your highness’ or anything like Mommy.  Do you really think I’m a princess?”

“You sure look like one today.”

“Yay!!  Oh, should I wear a dress, then?”

“Woah, hey, didn’t you...uh...just get dressed?  Yeah, you wouldn’t wanna get your pretty hair all messed up changing clothes again, right?”

“Okaaaaay.  But will you at least take a picture and show Mommy?”

“Sure, kid.  I do every day, don’t I?”

Once the picture and nothing else was sent to Frisk, they sat down on the couch with their phones.  “Okay,” he said.  “Same as last week.  You pick a place and show it to me, and I’ll check with Undyne.”

Attie hummed happily in agreement and got to work.  After a moment, she handed her phone over.  “This one?”

The map app on her phone was displaying a huge wildlife refuge at the base of Mt. Ebott, winding between monster territory and the city itself like a fat slug.  “That’s...I’m not sure that counts as a park?”

“Look at the name!”

He did.  ‘Mt. Ebott National Park,’ the phone said.  “Well.  Huh.  I’ll check.  But you know there won’t be other kids at this “park,” right?”

She shrugged.  “Most kids are weenies.  The kids at the embassy are okay, but mostly other kids don’t want to play tag or wrestling or capture the human.  And they cry if you push them over, and then parents get mad.  The kids at the embassy don’t cry when they fall over; they just get back up and keep playing.  ‘Cept the really little kids, but no one pushes them over on purpose because we’re s’pposed to look after the little kids.”

“...Welp, okay.”

He texted Undyne about going to the park Attie had picked.  She texted back almost instantly with a slew of questions, but since she gave her approval he ignored those.

“Undie says we can go.  She’s busy, but since there shouldn’t be anyone else there we don’t need an escort.  We just can’t leave trash and stuff behind, okay?”

“Okay!”

“Now.  What do you want for picnic lunch?”

Attie wanted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  That was fine.  What threw a wrench in the plan was her desire to make the sandwiches, and despite how much she practiced spreading peanut butter on bread it still seemed to get everywhere.  Sans resigned himself to following her around with a wet dishcloth cleaning up as she splattered peanut butter and dripped jelly across the kitchen.

“Done!” she finally declared, brandishing two lopsided sandwiches at the skeleton hovering behind her.

“Woah-hey!  Watch where you swing those!”

“Sorry!”

The sandwiches were wrapped and packed in Sans’s inventory, along with a bag of apple wedges (the easiest snack aside from popato chisps, which Boss didn’t allow in the house), a water bottle for Attie, and as many napkins as he could fit.  By some cruel quirk of the inventory system, each napkin took up an entire inventory slot.  He reluctantly removed his trombone and stashed it in his room to make space for the blanket Attie wanted to sit on.  Hopefully they’d be back before Boss, anyways.

“Okay, kid.  You ready to go?”

“Yyyyep!”

“A’ight, then.  C’mere.”  Once Attie was secure, Sans concentrated on the map he’d been shown of Mt. Ebott National Park and took a step forward.

Long-dead leaves crunched under his sneakers, and Attie wiggled almost out of his hold.  He kept his fingers tangled in the kid’s jacket as he evaluated his surroundings.  Only leafless trees, interspersed with the rare pine, surrounded their clearing.  They were alone.

Seasonally-challenged birds aside, Sans considered the area he lived in to be pretty quiet.  Sure, the neighbors and the traffic from the nearby highway made some noise, but it was a background hum he didn’t notice anymore.

He certainly noticed the lack of it, standing there in the middle of the wilderness.  He could barely hear any sounds, actually.  He was tempted to check his hearing, but the sound of Attie’s feet kicking up leaves confirmed that he wasn’t falling down just yet; it was just unnaturally silent.  There were no birds or other animals that he could hear.  The slight breeze ruffled no leaves.  A few dry branches clattered somewhere in the distance, sounding a little like bones, but it was distant and gone in seconds.

“Can I make a leaf pile and jump in it?”  Attie asked, wiggling harder.

“Eh, sure.  But stay where I can see-”

She had already bounded off.  Sans followed at a much lazier pace.  He gave her about an hour - an hour and a half tops - before she wore herself out and needed to eat to refuel.

Eventually, Attie collapsed into her giant pile of leaves and declared herself hungry.

“Oh thank the stars,” Sans groaned from under the neighboring pile.  She’d buried him - he checked his phone - an hour ago when he’d gotten tired of helping her gather handfuls of leaves into piles.  It was surprisingly cozy…

...until little hands began shoving the leaf pile off him.  “C’mon!”  their owner said.  “It’s lunchtime!”

He spread out the blanket and handed Attie her sandwich, the apple slices, and all the napkins.  He wasn’t really an outdoors-y person, not like some monsters he could name, but he had to admit that there was something kinda pretty about this place she had picked.  The trees were varied enough that it wasn't a copy of the pine forest near Snowdin, but the atmosphere reminded him a little of his old home.  He’d hidden in that forest often enough to have an appreciation for trees in general.

“The trees are really pretty even without their leaves,”  Attia said between bites.  “Did you take pictures and send them to my mommy?”

“I took pictures, but I don’t have reception out here.  Gotta get back to town to send them to your mom.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence for a bit longer.  Sans gathered up the trash in a bag and found - to his amusement - that once categorized in such a way, he was able to store all the leftover sandwich and apple bags and dirty napkins in a single inventory slot.  Magic was weird.

“I wish we could stay out here forever and ever,” the little girl said, sounding half-asleep.

“Oh?  Wouldn’t you miss your mom?”

“She could come out and live here with us too.  She has to go to work, though.”

“What about, uh, school?  And friends?”

“I do school from books, silly!  And I could visit my friends.  They all work at the embassy, at least sometimes, ‘cept you.”

It was a strange thing, that tingling that spread outwards from his soul at those words.  When was the last time he’d had a friend?  Had he ever?  Sure, it was just a little human kid, but...well, it made him regret not being a little nicer to the kid’s mom a few years back.  Had Frisk been this carefree and innocent once upon a time?  Had monsters taken that from her?

Had he…?

“Mr. Sans?”

“Yeah, Attie?”

“Am I your friend too?”

He leaned back onto his leaf pile and closed his eye sockets.  “Yeah, kid.  You’re my friend too.”

She sighed and laid down beside him, her fingertips tapping on his in a strange rhythm.  For once, he didn’t mind the contact.  He knew with absolute clarity in that moment that he would willingly die for this obnoxious, precocious, brilliant little girl.  Laughter bubbled in his empty chest at the thought.  There was no reason to suspect that they would ever be in a situation where that would be necessary, or would actually do any good, but that was the first thing that came to mind.

She was going back to her mother as soon as Frisk was released from the hospital, probably in a few days.  Granted, it could be a few weeks with how bad Frisk’s luck had been lately, but the fact remained that eventually Attie would go home.  She would go home to her mother and move on with her life.  Would she even remember him?  She’d only known him for a week and a half.  Sans himself couldn’t remember much from when he was seven years old, and considering what he’d gone through at that age it both relieved and frightened him.

Attie would forget him, someday.

“Mr. Sans?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re thinking too hard again.”

“Oh.  Sorry.”

“It’s okay!  I just don’t want you to be sad.”

“Uh, thanks.”

She hummed a little.  “Mr. Sans?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we go back to your house now and call Mommy?”

“Sure, if she’s awake.”

He hauled himself upright and held out a hand.  She took it without hesitation, smiling so wide her eyes squinted.

She...trusted him.  It was almost inconceivable, after less than two weeks, but she did.

Sans knew with a sinking feeling that he’d betray that trust somehow.  The thought made his shortcut a little more bumpy than usual, but instead of complaining Attie immediately demanded that he always make his shortcuts that “fun.”

“...No promises.  Now don’t you have someone to call?”

She squealed and ran off to locate her phone.

You 2:14 PM *12 picture messages sent Picnic at mt ebott

There was no response.  Was Frisk alright?  He caught himself worrying that she hadn’t eaten anything since the mac ‘n cheese, but forced the thought away.  She wasn’t his problem.

...But what if she had eaten something, and it had been poisoned?  Humans were weirdly susceptible to poison.  He curled his twitching fingers into a fist to keep them from drumming on the table.  This kid and her mom were going to be the death of him.

“Mr. Sans?”

“Yeah, Attie?”

“I can’t call Mommy.  She isn’t picking up her phone.”

“Yeah, she hasn’t texted me back, either.  Whaddaya wanna do while we wait for her?”

She thought hard for a long moment.  Sans braced himself for anything.  “Friend” or not, this kid had a downright disturbing sense of humor sometimes.

“How about we play…TEA PARTY!”

Disturbing, indeed.

By the time Undyne vaulted dramatically into the apartment several hours later, Sans had resigned himself to his fate.  He’d been forced to ‘dress up’ (in nice clothes, which meant he had to do laundry, which Attie - the little goblin - absolutely loved) and was wearing his single formal outfit: a button-down white shirt and black slacks.  Attie had changed into a flowery skirt and top, and had insisted on finding an old bedsheet to use as a tablecloth for the skeleton brothers’ stained dining room table.

What made all that worth it was the look on Undyne’s face when she realized they had raided her ‘secret’ tea stash.  Coffee may have been her one true love, but tea came in a close second.  Boss kept some on hand for emergencies.

“WHAT THE EFF?!?” she screamed, waving a spear wildly.  “SANS, WHY?!?”

“Attie wanted to play tea party.”

“Yeah!” the girl piped up, taking a tiny sip from her coffee mug.  She’d been pretty upset to find that the skeleton household didn’t have any proper teacups.

Undyne looked more conflicted than Sans had ever seen her.  On the one hand, she was known to be extremely protective over her property, which automatically included all caffeinated beverages within arm’s reach.  (And she had a surprisingly long reach.)  On the other...she had a proven fondness for Attie, and Attie was obviously happy.

To his surprise, fondness for the little human won out...this time.

“Well you’d better pour me a cup, nerd,” she said, dispelling her spear and throwing herself into the chair across from Sans.

Attie giggled and dashed into the kitchen for another mug.

“So,” the captain said, eyeing him, “You’re still alive.”

“You saw me literally yesterday morning.  Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s an ongoing surprise.  I thought the kid’d run you ragged after a day or two, especially after you collapsed the first time you worked out with us.”

He shrugged.  It was a fair assessment.

“You’re not half bad at this, y’know.”

“What, at tea parties?  You know me, Cap’n; never one to pass up the pretty dresses.”

Undyne took a point of HP off him with her swat.  “Don’t be cheeky with me.  No; I mean you’re good with Attie.  It’s downright weird.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” he drawled, winking.

Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by Attie prancing back into the dining room with another mug of tea balanced carefully between her hands.  It was made more complicated by the fact that she was wearing oven mitts.  Sans braced himself to mitigate the almost-inevitable splash of hot liquid, but she managed to get the mug onto the table in front of Undyne without incident.

“Thanks,” Undyne said after a gulp of piping hot tea.  “You’re becoming a real chef.  You’ll give Papyrus ‘n me a run for our money someday, huh?”

“Yyyup!  I’ll beat you both, and then Mr. Papyrus will have to be nice!”

“He’s still gettin’ mad at you?”

“No, but he yells a lot.  Mr. Sans usually sends me to a different room when it starts so it doesn’t hurt my ears.”

“...Well, as long as you’re both okay.”

All three sipped their tea in silence for a moment.

“WAIT!”  Undyne slammed her mug down on the table with a firm thud.  “I almost forgot!  Attie!  Your mom’s getting out of the hospital!”

“YAY!  ...When?”

“Tomorrow or Monday, we think.  We’re waiting on some tests; don’t think they’ll let her go tonight, someone’s being a real ass about things.  It’s stupid.  Now that she’s awake she can pretty much take care of herself.”

“Wow!  That’s great!  Then I can visit her at my house instead of the stinky hospital!”  She hummed to herself a little.

Sans shared a glance with Undyne.  “Hey, uh, kid...don’t you wanna go home?”

“Yep!  But Mommy’s still sick, right?  I always have a babysitter when Mommy’s sick or I’m sick, so we don’t get germs all over each other.”

“I don’t think germs are a big concern here.  Appendicitis isn’t contagious.”

“...What?”

“Nevermind.”  He turned back to Undyne.  “So, uh, when’s the kid goin’ home?”

“We’ll see.  Frisk might need some time to get settled.  We’ll arrange something.”  She sighed, downing the rest of her tea.  “Well, it’s been great, nerds.  Gotta go check on the Dogi; Dogaressa might be going into labor.”

She left in a whirlwind of color and sound only marginally less intense than the one she arrived in.

“Mr. Sans?”

“Yeah, kid?”

“What’s a labor?”

“Work.  In this context, it means...uh, it means she’s having her puppies.  Y’know how they’re inside her right now?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, they’ve gotta come out.”

“Oh.”  She pondered this for a long moment.  “Does that mean they’re getting born?  Mrs. Dogaressa promised that I could pet them when they get born.”

“Uh, sure, kid.”

There was a blessed moment of silence, before:

“Mr. Sans?”

“...Yeah?”

“How did the puppies get inside Mrs. Dogaressa?”

“Just...finish your tea.”

[yoongisgoawaydoormat]

Is it Harry you don't like or how he's been branded since the early 1D days? How the media pegged him as the front man when clearly there 5 great guys in the band? I'm just curious because I like Harry and the four other guys equally in terms of music, even before they started making solo music.

im gonna kinda combine this answer with an anon i should have responded to weeks ago “i've noticed you dislike harry, especially recently with him promoting his new music, but i'm not sure how/why it started exactly. could you explain??”

for me now it’s that i don’t like harry and that’s a position i’ve come to over the course of the past 2-3 years and i think i can break that evolution down into two broad categories: his relation to zayn (both pre- and post-march 2015) and how he has approached going solo (again both pre- and post-1d going on a break). 

and what’s most important about these two for me is that it is hard to explain away his actions in these categories as Harry Styles™; these are HIS choices, HIS words, HIS actions thus forcing me to dislike harry styles the person

for the sake of people’s dashes i’m putting a read more, but for those interested i’ve written a novel explaining these categories in more detail below (deadass i just copied it all into word and it’s 1500 words long..... im-.....)

1) how harry relates to zayn

i list his relation to zayn first because i truly believe this says something about his character. he has done things specifically re: zayn that have nothing to do with how he’s been branded in 1d or how the media has portrayed him; his actions that im going to discuss and that have most negatively affected my view of him are all on harry styles the person

it really started in the summer of 2014 when he waved the inflatable hammer of israel around at a concert during a time of heightened tensions between israel and palestine (and by heightened tensions i mean more war crimes and atrocities committed by the apartheid-esque occupational regime of israel). he asked those fans for that hammer, he is the one who has multiple zionist connections and could easily be considered a zionist himself. that’s on harry styles the person. meanwhile zayn tweets #FreePalestine shortly after that and is abused off of twitter. i recognize that the (racist) double standard here is not coming directly from harry but he benefits from it (and always has) and he plays into it and i can’t even imagine how zayn felt as a muslim man having to sit and watch his bandmate get a free pass for supporting a genocidal regime while he is eviscerated for one tweet of support. harry’s role in all this was the first moment i truly began to dislike him as a person

then we have his actions after zayn left. i will never claim to know what went down. im not sure we will ever know the whole ‘truth’ of zayn leaving and i’ve always said there’s shades of grey, no clear right and wrong, good and bad. it was messy but the bottom line is that zayn left (at least in part) because he was in an unhealthy state both mentally and physically and no one deserves that. so for all that the remaining four may have been justifiably hurt, confused, angry, etc. at things we can’t even possibly know about or understand re: zayn leaving, zayn deserves to be happy and healthy and people need to respect that. i do not think harry (nor his fans) respected that or zayn himself at all in the wake of him leaving. harry’s actions during mitam promo was, in my opinon, the most egregious and blatantly disrespectful. all four of them demonstrated sadness and/or bitterness at times but harry’s behavior (such as saying the ‘paperwork’ was the hardest part of z leaving, kicking a z mask off the stage, etc.) came across to me as petty, immature, spiteful and mean-spirited. it was not a spite that i saw in the other three. as a ztan (and also just a decent human?) i lost a lot of respect for harry in those months. i think these actions showed his true colors and those are not colors which i like very much.

also i’ve discussed this a bit on this blog but with the benefit of hindsight i do believe that a lot of those bitter actions re: zayn came from a selfish place of anger at zayn for ‘beating’ him to the solo game and from a place of ‘i’m going to villainize this person in order to make myself look better now and down the line.’ i think that was ‘proven’ for me when the build up for harry’s solo material included a LOT of very intentional mentions and comparisons to zayn. obviously that was something the media and people were going to do anyway but it was to a degree that felt sanctioned and encouraged; i think that comparison and that emphasis of ‘zayn as the evil judas who left, harry as the one who stayed until it was time’ was part of harry and his teams promo strategy (that backfired when SOTT flopped compared to pillowtalk, hence why i think those comparisons in big outlets have ceased, but i digress)... that’s a lot more of my own interpretation and my own reading of the info i have so it’s not as concrete as the stuff above but it does factor into my personal view of harry annnnnd it also connects nicely to my second point

2) his solo approach

now this is a more complex issue, and more of it *could* be attributed to Harry Styles™ but im going to preface my discussion by saying that harry chose his team. he’s been hanging with the azoffs on his personal time since 2013, his friendship with jeff has always been in our faces, he’s very clearly in the driver’s seat of his career at the moment, just as niall and liam appear to be (louis is a different and extremely nuanced conversation). he’s been angling towards his solo career for YEARS and while i don’t necessarily think that in and of itself is a bad thing (everyone in bands esp boy bands does that kind of forward thinking), i think the way he has gone about it is by stepping on his four bandmates in one way or another and i think that’s really fucking shitty. he has leveraged the existing Harry Styles™ frontman, standout image to catapult himself into this weird realm of ‘im above everything, im too cool, im already a legend’ promo.

on top of that kind of broad stroke stuff, some of his specific actions are just......... eye-roll worthy. i mean think about what the FIRST thing he did was after 1D went on a break? yachtgate. you can brush that off as a stunt all you want (and obviously in many ways it was) but it was a stunt that encouraged a certain solo harry narrative. it helped solidify him as the a-lister of the band hanging with jenners on fancy boats. it helped solidify him as a ‘star in his own right’ signing contracts and paperwork with jeff. it was a stunt that HELPED harry.

this is kind of a digression but i do think it’s important to note the nuanced difference between harry and louis’ ‘stunts.’ totally disregarding conversations of ‘real or fake,’ if we look at the major ‘stunts’ harry and louis have undertaken in their careers (and within this im including anything that could be construed as their ‘personal life’ being projected publicly i.e. eleanor, danielle, babygate, taylor swift, kendull jenner, etc.) harry’s stunts have always boosted his public image while louis’ have always hurt his. i know that’s an EXTREMELY broad and generalizing brush to paint with and im not trying to say that harry’s image has always been ‘good’, i remember the womanizer days i cant even imagine how much that hurt him and it sucks. but basically harry’s stunts have always made him more famous, putting him in an increasingly better position to convert Harry Styles™ into solo success. louis’ stunts have consistently done the opposite, giving him a SERIOUS uphill battle when it comes to the general public and mainstream media acknowledging his solo endeavors.

this is a discrepancy that exists between harry and ALL the boys, not just with louis (though the gulf between them is the most... extreme i’d say). harry has always been positioned above liam, niall and zayn too, and what i have a problem with is how that is being leveraged and leaned into rather than dispelled. harry could easily take the approach niall has which is constantly recognizing the good that one direction did for him. even if he didn’t want to be so overt he could have at least tried to be as polite and gracious as zayn was, who while recognizing that he wanted to do his own thing and his own music was very conscious to acknowledge the good bits of 1D. instead we have this weird almost antagonistic approach in his (sparse) interviews wherein it feels like harry treats 1d as this thing that was holding him back, something he is now free of. it’s a pretentiousness that i dont appreciate

the final thing i’ll add in this section is in how he and his team are treating the fans that he does have. i am not one of those people but at times i feel quite bad? and sorry? for harries who are investing their time and money and effort into an artist who seems hell bent on ignoring them. this aloofness is demonstrated on his social media, i mean has he taken time to interact with or thank fans once????? the whole tour ticket debacle sounds horrendous and im sorry for fans that don’t get to go because harry and his team bungled it. there’s just a distinct...... disrespect for the fans he was bringing with him from the 1D days and that’s frustrating.