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thatslikely · 4 years ago

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Detention - D.M.

Detention- Draco Malfoy x fem!reader (gryffindor)

Warnings: none! just more fluff <3

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: A fun Draco fic with an enemies to lovers type of situation! I’m really happy with how this one turned out and I hope you guys enjoy it too! I’m definitely going to make a Seeker part 2 so don’t worry, but I also have a George Weasley x Reader idea in the works too! Please feel free to send me your feedback (and you can always send me an ask or message for the taglist).

Just a Reminder: Y/N is Your Name

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“Detention! For both of you!” Professor McGonagall’s voice rang loudly through her office. The countless living paintings that speckled the candle-lit stone walls shook at her declaration.

She disappointedly looked at you before marking your name on a piece of parchment that lay on the desk in front of her. You felt guilty that you had forced your favorite professor (and the head of your house) to give you a detention. Especially detention in the Forbidden Forest with none other than Draco Malfoy.

You couldn’t even bear to look at the pouting Slytherin’s face beside you. It was his fault that you now had to spend your Saturday night roaming through the eerie trees of the Dark forest. If he hadn’t snatched your Charms essay mid-sentence then maybe you wouldn’t have shot a hex in his direction! Fortunately for him, however, your clever hex missed the mischievous Malfoy by a single blonde hair, and now poor Neville’s shoes are glued to the worn hardwood floors of the library.

Your forest escort arrived promptly. You were thankful Filch was busy with other duties, so one of your Gryffindor prefects was chosen instead. McGonagall sent your prefect a nod and as he signaled for the two of you to follow him, you finally made eye contact with Malfoy, shooting him a murderous glare. He quickly responded with a scowl before walking out the door and into the familiar hall towards the forest.

After several minutes of awkward silence, the three of you finally reached the inviting entrance of Hagrid’s hut. The warm glow emitting through the windows of the stone shack contrasted greatly against the clear, pitch-black sky.

Judging by the disgusted expression on Malfoy’s face, it was clear that he wasn’t fond of the half-giant or his home. Maybe Hagrid would be a little sympathetic for your cause, and you could get away early.

After a few moments, Hagrid emerged from his hut, a homemade wooden crossbow strung across his chest and a woven basket in hand. Fang sat lazily at his side, drool dripping from his snout. The groundskeeper tiredly said, “Tonight, you two’ll be searchin’ in the forest for some knotgrass. Once this basket ‘ere is full, yer free to go.”

Draco begrudgingly took the woven basket from Hagrid’s large hands with an eye roll. Shortly after a bit more detailed instructions from Hagrid, you and the blonde reluctantly embarked towards the winding dirt path leading into the woods. The only thing illuminating your late-night journey was the pearly full moon overhead and the small beams of light emitting from the ends of your wands.

You two walked through the spooky trees in silence, annoyed looks plastered on your faces. Once the both of you had been walking around with the irritatingly empty basket for a while, you finally asked with a grimace, “Do you even know what knotgrass looks like?”

“Of course, I know what knotgrass looks like. Do you take me for an idiot? Do I even have to remind you that I’m top of the class for Potions?” he spat, defensive and rude.

“How is your expansive Potions knowledge going to help us here in the middle of the Forbidden Forest? It’s your fault I’m even here in the first place!”

“My fault? Says the girl who nearly killed me after I so much as glanced at your pitiful Charms essay! You’re a bloody psycho!” His over-exaggerated recounting of what happened in the library would surely be a hit with his Slytherin worshippers, but not with you.

Instead of disputing his accusations, you tore the straw basket from his ring-adorned hands, hissing, “Fine. If I’m so insane, just leave me alone and let me collect it myself!” You turned the opposite direction, speeding up your pace, leaving Malfoy alone in the dark.

Draco stood, mouth agape, for a moment before quickly dashing up behind you, grabbing hold of your wrist. “Where do you think you’re going. I’m not gonna die in this stupid forest because of you! Give me that basket.”

He spun you around to face him, his grip on your wrist as tight as ever. His hand was cold and strong; the silver snake rings that wrapped around his fingers dug into your skin. You looked up into his captivating silver eyes, and for the first time, you didn’t see pure malice. The starlight made his eyes shine nicely, which you hated to admit.

Your gazes were interlocked for a few electric seconds, which felt like hours, before Draco raised his eyebrows in shock, realizing how close his face had gotten to yours. In one swift motion, he freed your arm from his grasp, and the basket was now in his control. He awkwardly turned away from you, simultaneously wiping his palm up and down his black robe. You caught a quick glance of his face, which was a pronounced shade of pink, visible even in the dim moonlight.

You noticed your breaths became heavier, and your cheeks were scorching hot. What just happened? you thought, why did that feel so… strange? Nothing should’ve felt different. It was just another irritating interaction with your Slytherin enemy. He’s just the same old spoiled brat.

You tried to get the intrusive thoughts of your strange interaction with Draco out of your head by focusing on finding the elusive plant. You weren’t too sure what it was supposed to look like, so after minutes of searching, you were left with a fistful of mismatched stems and leaves.

Once you couldn’t hold any more of the mismatched plants you had collected, you silently stepped behind the bent over Draco, reaching down to dump the stems in the basket which he firmly grasped at his side.

Draco, who was lost in thought, didn’t realize you were right behind him until a loud twig cracked right under your shoe as you were mere inches from the back of his head and the basket.

Frightened by the sudden noise, he hastily turned around with his hawthorn wand ready. Only, instead of being face to face with a rabid werewolf, his elbow was met harshly with your nose. You immediately recoiled from the Slytherin with a roaring yelp. You instinctively reached for your nose, where blood was slowly dripping out and onto the ground. Great.

While you were tilting your head back to alleviate the blood flow, Draco stared at you dumbfounded. The situation at hand eventually sunk in, and he ran to your side, his hand on your shoulder, concernedly. After you groaned in annoyance for a few seconds he asked, “Are you okay?”

You cocked an eyebrow, taken aback by his oddly sympathetic question. He quickly realized the tone of what he said, withdrawing his hand from your shoulder. With a significantly icier tone, he said, “You should’ve been more careful, Y/N.”

You embarrassedly turned away from Draco, ready to wipe off your blood-coated hands on your robe when you felt a timid tap on your shoulder. Draco stretched his arm to you, a white silk handkerchief with the initials D. L. M. embroidered in emerald green between his fingers. He kept his head turned sharply away from you, his nose in a scrunch.

You eyed his handsome punchable face suspiciously before you slowly accepted the handkerchief. Before you put it to your nose, you bluntly stated, “I’ll get blood on it, you know.”

“I’m not stupid, I know that. I gave you my cheap one, so keep it. Don’t want your filthy germs anyway.”

“You’re lucky I haven’t hexed your brains out yet,” you said with a sly smile.

He mimed himself looking mockingly scared at your comment, but a satisfactory smile soon crept onto his face at the sight of your nose softly pressed into the ivory silk. He was probably just glad to not hear you complain anymore.

----

The basket was nearly full of what you hoped were knotgrass stems, though it seemed your “expert Potions student” also couldn’t pinpoint the plants. Both of you had also grown very tired, out for what was probably hours. At long last, Draco plucked one final handful of leaves, making the basket full enough to your standards. You and Draco simultaneously let out a sigh of relief, finally being done with this grueling punishment.

Normally, post-detention, you would attempt to send Draco some of the Weasley twin’s dangerous concoctions for extra revenge, but he was being abnormally kind to you tonight, in his own Malfoy way. Plus, this night had taken a huge toll on you both; you don’t even know if you had the energy to still be mad at him.

The two of you slowly trudged back to Hagrid’s, a joyful feeling in your chest since this strange night was finally over. As you continued down the dimly-lit path, the platinum blonde who was previously at your side was nowhere to be seen. You assumed he had snuck up ahead, ready to jump out at you from behind one of the towering black trees. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d try to scare the hell out of you, to say the least.

You kept following the path, your eyes darting around at every noise. You were on high alert for your Slytherin rival, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of scaring you. The further down you went without seeing Draco though, the more nervous you got. Not just for the possibility of him scaring you, but for his safety. You’d heard so many horror stories about the Forbidden Forest you could probably write a book.

Finally, you mustered the courage to call for Draco. You repeatedly yelled “Draco!”, slightly louder every time you didn’t receive a response. Now you were really worried. He was your sworn enemy, sure, but you didn’t want him dead in the forest.

After more minutes of shouting and worrying, you heard some rustling around you. “Draco? Try and scare me! Don’t think I won’t hesita-”

You were quickly cut off by the noise you dreaded the most: the piercing howl of a werewolf. You, and seemingly the whole forest, froze within an instant. You rapidly placed your hand over your mouth, hoping that even your breaths couldn’t be heard.

Your thoughts immediately went to Draco, alone in the forest, with a werewolf on the prowl. While you should have been much more worried about yourself in such a vulnerable position, the blonde Slytherin couldn’t seem to leave your brain.

Your head was so clouded with Draco that you didn’t pay attention to the sound of claw-steps growing closer to you by the second. By the time you realized that you should shoot some crimson sparks up for help, a loud and intimidating growl emitted from the shrubbery right in front of you.

Without hesitation, you bolted away from the bushes as fast as your feet would take you. You couldn’t get far though, as the silver, moonlight-drenched werewolf stood ahead of you once again, this time on full display.

Its sharp, horrendous fangs resembled the pointed stalactites of underground caves; its violent yellow eyes were a match for Hufflepuff robes, though Hufflepuffs were probably slightly less vicious.

The werewolf stared at you, almost mockingly. The snarl of its mouth could almost be described as a smirk, similar to the one which your blonde detention-mate often wore. Your final thoughts before death at the hands of a werewolf would be, of all things, Draco.

The werewolf reared its arm back, ready to claw you to death, and a single tear ran down your face. It was too late to run, too late to hide, too late to do anything but die.

Draco Malfoy, however, had other plans. He bolted between you and the werewolf, rapidly pointing his wand out at the beast. He yelled “Stupify!” at the top of his lungs, his voice hoarse and his lungs out of breath.

You were too shocked by Draco’s sudden reappearance and act of heroism to notice the protective and caring grasp Draco had around your hand. His touch felt different than when he held your wrist, his hand was now warm and soft.

Your eyes were blurry with tears, and coupled with the dark night sky, you could barely see. The only thing guiding you was Draco’s hand, pulling you towards the outskirts of the forest.

You were too scared to look back in search of the werewolf, but Draco didn’t express worry that it would come back. Instead, he pulled you closer to him, your head leaning on his chest. His chest rose and fell quickly, his heartbeat rapid and quick.

After what felt like hours upon hours of running in the pitch black towards nothing, you and the not-so-bad blonde were back safely in front of Hagrid’s hut. The tears in your eyes had finally dried, though you definitely weren’t looking your best.

Under the light from Hagrid’s windows, Draco could see your matted hair, smudged mascara, and a bit of dried blood under your nose. He could have easily made a snide comment at your expense, but instead, he reached to your face, brushing a few loose strands of hair out of your eyes.

You looked up from your feet at the handsome blonde in front of you. He held a guilty smile on his face, but he seemed to be okay. You’d been so terrified these past few hours that all you could think to do was practically jump onto Draco, giving him a tight hug.

At first, he didn’t know what to do when you latched your arms around his chest in a tight hug. The last hug he ever got from someone was his first day of Hogwarts, at Platform 9 ¾. His mother tightly embraced him before sending him off to proudly strut onto the train.

His body apparently missed the feeling more than it let on, for butterflies exploded in his whole body the moment your soft skin wrapped around him tightly. He could faintly smell your shampoo as he hesitantly latched onto you.

The feeling of his arms around you was like nothing you’ve experienced before. Sure, you’d hugged people in the past, but this felt different. You felt your heartbeat quicken, and your whole body felt warmer. You felt secure and comfortable.

Little did the two of you know, Hagrid stood in the doorway of his humble abode, a knowing smile painted on his lips. He let out a small “ahem” before the hug was broken. You and Draco swiveled to face the half-giant, who reached out his arm expectantly.

Only then did Draco realize that he left the basket behind after the werewolf encounter, and a look of shock and embarrassment coated his face.

“I must’ve left it back in the forest. I’ll come back tomorrow night to regather the knotgrass. Just let Draco off the hook, please?” Your face had a pleading expression, a slightly pained look in your eyes.

“Don’ worry ‘bout it, Y/N. I know all ‘bout yer werewolf encounter, I’m ser Snape can live without a bit of knotgrass fer a few more days.” Hagrid warmly smiled at you.

The castle felt miles away from the outskirts of the forest. Draco was back to being his usual cold self, facing away from you as you both trudged to the school.

Eventually, you finally stood at the large wooden doors of the main entrance to Hogwarts. Within moments, you would be back within its comforting walls, which would surely soothe the new pounding sensation in your head.

You reached for the large, rusted metal doorknobs, ready to be greeted with the castle’s uplifting energy, when Draco grabbed your free hand, pulling you away from the handle.

You couldn’t bring yourself to be rude to the Slytherin, after all he did for you, so instead, you asked calmly, “What is it?”

The glow of torches which adorned Hogwarts’ stoney outer walls made Draco’s hair look magnificently golden, contrasting the way the pale moonlight made his locks seem almost silver. His silver eyes stared into yours, and for a moment you swear you saw his gaze flicker to your lips.

Your face heated up at the sight of his charming gaze and smile. You hadn’t even noticed how close his face was to yours until you felt the heat radiating from his pale cheeks. He quickly closed the minuscule gap between the two of you by passionately connecting your lips.

The electricity in the air was hard to ignore. The late hours of the night just added to the rush of feelings you got when your and Draco’s lips touched. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him closer; one of his warm hands cupped your cheek and the other sat around your waist.

After several moments of slow and loving kissing, your lips disconnected. Your lips missed the feeling of his’, but you were still satisfied. Draco pulled the large wooden door open, stepping inside with you, your fingers intertwined.

“I might just have to steal another one of your pathetic essays soon,” Draco said, a genuine look of love in his eyes accompanied by his signature smirk.

“You’re such a git, Malfoy. Though, I wouldn’t mind spending some more time with you, as long as there’s no werewolves involved, okay?”

And with that, you pulled him closer for another quick, affectionate kiss before giddily walking up to the Gryffindor common room.

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canyousayinconsistency · 4 years ago

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Why Can’t I Have Him Back?

I had a craving for a specific scenario and thus I provided it for myself, hope yall enjoy.

Sukuna x Curse! Reader | Angst with a small fluffy scene

Warnings: I made the reader be kinda like a butterfly-ish curse so if you dont like that my bad, blood (not too much)

I’ll probably make a part 2 for this, maybe something smutty if im feeling like it

Ever since Itadori fused with the King of Curses, Sukuna, all of the high ranking Jujutsu Sorcerers have been on edge. Not only from the unexpected development of having someone being able to tame such a monster, but also due to the ungodly amount of spiritual energy that had pulsed across the nation at his arrival. The pressure it released had knocked them back, the feeling sending a shiver down their spine as they realized it had been on par with Sukuna, if not even greater.

Despite feeling this unease, no matter what or where they searched nothing and no one was found. While they had constantly worried about this sudden presence they had current matters to attend to, such as the fact of Gojou Satoru’s sealing.

Itadori had run throughout the station, fighting minor curses here and there before coming to a halt from the presence of Mahito, Geto and Jogo. While Itadori and the other shamans around him prepared for a battle he could only watch in confusion as everyone around him, including the major curses in front of him stiffened and shuddered.

A large gust was felt before a hole in the ceiling broke through, crashing down in between the two feuding parties. From the moonlight, almost in a serene manner, a tall woman floated down, her large wings carrying her to settle atop of the debris. The curses behind her held their breath, the sorcerers in front of her tense at her presence, and Itadori shivered in both fear, yet relief?

The woman before him crouched down slightly, her wings settling behind her as she finally opened her eyes. Her bright (e/c) looked as though it was glowing against her black scleras. If you were to look past her demonic features she was quite a beauty, by all standards. Upon closer inspection they noticed her six arms. Her top and bottom arms were grotesquely stretched out behind her, holding onto something, while her middle arms had their hands clasped together. Just behind those arms on her stomach held dark markings, the same that were on Sukuna’s stomach.

Looking around she made eye contact with everyone in the room, tilting her head to the side her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Turning to face the curses behind her everyone noticed how they kneeled before her, their heads not moving an inch to look up at her. However one curse had been so bold as to walk towards her.

“WhO iS tHiS? WeAk? I aM sTrOnGeR!” The garbled voice laughed at her delicate structure. The cursed lunged at her just as she turned to slowly look at them. Just as they jumped she tilted her head slightly to the side, catching the curse midair. The curses gasped and smiled at her display of strength while the shaman prepared for the worse.

The curse choked and groaned as she stared at it more. She tilted her head the other way, watching as the curse slowly became more and more twisted. Finally she frowned, almost like a child who didn’t like their toy, she shook her head and instantly the body was a twisted mess hitting the floor with a wet plop.

Jogo had let out a small cheer before standing up to applaud her. “Amazing! My La-” He was cut off by a gust of wind as he felt her hand cover his mouth. No one moved, too astonished by her sudden movement, it was as though she teleported.

“Shh…”

He shook under her grip, however her delicate hand gently left him, dropping him to the ground as he tried to gather himself. Sharply turning her head her voice was barely above a whisper as she looked at Itadori.

“Sukuna…?”

In an instant she was in front of the boy who could only watch in fear as she held his head in her hands. Despite her delicate frame her body dwarfed his in size. Once again she whispered her King’s name, her hand gently stroking the marks under Itadori’s eyes.

“What happened? My Sukuna...you’re not him, but you have him…?”

Her eyebrows furrowed, causing the shamans to jump into action in fear of the fate that Itadori would face, much like the curse from before. However just as they jumped, she held out her hands, catching them in mid air as she continued to look deep into Itadori’s eyes. No. She seems to look through him.

“M-My Sukuna...give him back to me…”

She whimpered causing everyone to look shocked. Such a fearsome curse was crying. Large black tears rolled down her cheeks as she sobbed, begging for her King to come back. Itadori flinched as a voice echoed in his head.

“Switch with me.”

He fought back, however it was as though Sukuna was fighting back with a different kind of strength. As she continued to cry she felt a warm palm come to rest against her face, wiping her tears in a way that held such warmth and familiarity.

“Don’t...cry…”

On the side of Itadori’s cheek was a second mouth which held the voice the woman had wanted to hear for so long. Dropping the shaman to the ground she grabbed his head once more to stare at the mouth of her lover.

“Sukuna…! S-Sukuna…”

She sobbed quietly, holding Itadori to her chest. Despite being a curse with such monstrous strength, she held him so gently. Her scent felt familiar, yet it shouldn’t have. Bulking, Itadori shoved her back as he coughed up blood, his throat felt as though it were burning.

It was then everyone noticed the light (colour) pollen that seemed to flutter off of her wings. The many shamans around her covered their mouths, some already falling to the poison as well. The curses behind her seemed to be unaffected, however some of the lesser curses with them started to look uneasy.

Falling to his knees Itadori grabbed onto his throat, he felt his consciousness fading away slightly before it all went black. Steadily he stood up, now on his face were four bright red eyes that stared up to the woman, the markings on his face slowly turning opaque.

“It’s been a while, hasn't it (y/n)?”

With a gasp the woman lunged at him, engulfing him in her arms. Had this been 1000 years ago she would have been dwarfed by him, but now it was she who held him. She cried out his name, her whimpers of missing him and of how scared she was being heard by all.

“They took you away from me! How long has it been? I’ve only been awake for a few months.”

She stated causing all the remaining shamans to look alarmed. She had been the large awakening they felt those many moons ago.

“Months? Heh, it’s been much longer, my love. It’s been a thousand years since I’ve returned.”

(y/n) gasped once more, shocked at how long it’s been. However, curses and shaman alike were surprised by his words. His love?

“I-I’m sorry...I should have found you sooner...I-I had to conserve my energy b-because-”

A small cooing sound echoed in the room as Sukuna looked up at her in shock. Pulling away from him, the arms that had been stretched behind her moved in front of her. Within her arms held a small bundle, pulling down the cloth slightly Sukuna gasped at the sight before him.

A small boy, only a few months old, gazed at him with strikingly similar red eyes with a black sclera. The baby’s scrunched face gave way to the marks underneath his eyes and down his chubby cheeks. A small hand pushed its way through the buddle which (y/n) quickly held onto, gently rubbing her thumb back and forth the baby’s hand.

“Susumu...say hi to, Papa.”

The woman cooed softly, however it was quickly ruined by the rushing of backup shaman, rushing to the scene and immediately firing off their attacks, all aimed at the woman and the bundle in her hands.

Without hesitation Sukuna blocked their attacks, drawing the two of them close to him before releasing his own attack to knock them all back. As the dust settled a small voice cried as a mother hushed her child but to no avail.

Turning to face his child Sukuna looked down at him owlishly. With a small smile the woman handed the crying child over to his father who held him so gently in his own arms.

“Hello little one, quite the charmer aren’t you.”

He snickered at the almost toothless grin he received. Sukuna wiggled his fingers in front of his son causing the young boy to laugh however the joy was short lived until Sukuna grunted. In a rush he almost dropped their son, however he quickly gave him back to his mother.

“Damn it...No no no!”

He growled in anger before the markings disappeared leaving behind a confused Itadori. The poison had been cured causing his consciousness to return allowing him to take control once more. Hearing the fussing of a child he turned and looked at the shocked woman as she shakily held a child that reached out to him.

Taking a few confusing steps back the baby frowned before letting out a loud cry, however this time it was different. The loud cry let out a shockwave knocking back everyone and everything, except for his mother who looked down at the ground, tears pooling in her eyes once more.

She aimlessly tried to soothe her child but their cries wouldn’t stop. Using all of her arms she held the baby close to her chest, soothing the child of the shockwave, but not of his tears. Biting her lip (y/n) looked at Itadori with tears in her eyes.

“W-Why? I don’t understand…”

The teenager opened his mouth however the sound of a liquid hitting the floor caused them all to look at the bleeding wound now coming from her chest. Looking down she noticed how her child no longer cried, but had a frown present on his bloody face.

“He’s hungry…”

She murmured to herself before extending her wings to fly once again. Floating over she went to the twitching body of a weakened shaman. Looking down at him her hair stabbed through his chest causing him to let out a guttural choking sound before he paled, he skin wrinkled as though he aged significantly.

“He’s hungry, I have to feed him...Food for Susumu.”

She now hummed looking around at the aray of shamans on the verge of death. Before anyone could breathe her hair stabbed each of them through their chest, each person gagging and gasping before she absorbed their energy. She was moving onto the next row before she felt a presence behind her. Itadori had attempted to punch her away however she easily dodged it. A section of her hair grabbed him by the wrist before holding him in the air.

“Please don’t do that...not while you look like h-him...Not while you look like my husband…”

She whimpered before floating towards the whole she created earlier. Looking back at him with a tearful expression, Itadori felt as though his heart was being taken out of him when she heard her broken sob.

“Why can’t I have him back?”

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna x curse!reader #sukuna #itadori yuji

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euphoriyoongi · 4 years ago

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✿ True Beauty ✿

✿ Summary:

Your life changes as you learn new make-up techniques. You hide behind the make-up from your hurtful past, and Seokjin also loses joy from his hurtful past. You two rely on each other, sharing secrets.

✿ Pairings: Seokjin x reader x Yoongi

✿ Word count: 1.0k

✿ Warnings: talk of suicide

m.list

prev. // next.

✿ Part One: Ugly truth

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It’s the ugly truth. The world doesn’t treat you well if you’re not pretty.

I would word that differently if I could but…it’s true. Whether you admit it or not.

We’re all nearly born the same right? Down to the bone, we’re all just twin skeletons. But people don’t look at it that way. They always have to look to the surface and be superficial. Oh, maybe you’d look better with shorter hair—no, that wouldn’t be me then.

But what about plastic surgery? Then you’ll be pretty.

Again, no.

I was born into a family that believed looks were all a person had. My mom wasn’t so much of a beauty to the world’s standards, but my dad definitely was. But alas, I ended up with my mothers looks. I didn’t think much of it until my family, and everyone else, began to ridicule me because of how I looked. Sure, I wasn’t the prettiest but..I really couldn’t be that ugly, right?

According to everyone else, I was. And because of how everyone perceived me, I began to believe them. As I grew older I’d look at a part of my body that I wanted to change. I was always wanting to be someone else.

I wish my nose was a bit smaller, I wish I was a bit shorter. I wish I didn’t have so much acne.

Maybe then I’ll be pretty.

But is that what defines beauty?

Beauty should be defined as someone who’s lovely right down to the heart. Someone who knows to uplift others regardless of the exterior. It’s kind of funny, almost judging a book by its cover.

How are you supposed to know what’s inside if you don’t give it a chance?

As I aged in school, kids would throw their lunches at me. They would taunt me and make jokes that I looked like a dumpling. I couldn’t catch a break, and as I grew up like that, my self esteem became an inkling thing.

The world can be harsh, huh? My brother didn’t seem to have a hard time at all, though. He’s always got the attention of my mother, and the whole family as I would be standing behind him without a word.

I dreamed of being able to live my life without worrying I’m up to par….but its really difficult when you’re living as someone you want to change. It’s impossible to love yourself at that point.

To make matters worse, my family had just moved us back to our hometown. I guess we lost the house we were living in and had to go move back into our old one. I was dreading going into a new high school, and hopefully no one would tease me. Even though that was completely unlikely. Everywhere I go, at least someone would point out my looks.

If you don’t believe pretty privilege exists, then you must be pretty to society’s standards. Cause damn, people can be rude.

With all the self hatred came along thoughts of ending it all. It seems silly to someone else…but my feelings are real. They’re true to heart. I was told all my life that I’ll go nowhere. That I won’t even be suitable for a man. That I won’t even succeed in anything that I do. I let all that talk get into my head and take over my thoughts. There was no more “happy go lucky” y/n anymore. Just a hollow shell with nothing but degrading thoughts.

I brought myself up to the top of a building. I was going to do it. I had enough of all of this. I was going to end it.

The cool breeze flew through my hair as I stood at the edge, my legs shaking beneath me, begging me not to jump. Fluorescent lights covered my body head to toe from a giant billboard that stood from behind, offering the only source of light. No matter how many times I told myself to jump, my body wouldn’t let me. It was as if I was stuck in mid air—unable to breathe.

Suddenly another large billboard lit up brightly right in front of me, as if it was a message.

It’s was a sign to commemorate former idol Jung Se-Yeon. It would’ve been his birthday had he not passed away. Wow. He would’ve been eighteen if he was …

still…living…

I can’t do this.

Just as I was about to step down, a loud voice screamed from behind.

“Don’t do it!”A boy’s voice yelled, and footsteps banged across the ground, getting louder with each second.

It was even before I could turn my head when I felt the boy’s hands grab my stomach, pulling me back and sending both of us tumbling to the ground with a thump. My glasses flew off my face and tens of floors down to the road, and the boys arms were wrapped around me tightly, not letting me go as I laid on top of him.

His heavy breaths echoed through my head, his hair a mess all over his face. I couldn’t see his features enough to know who he was since my glasses were gone, but who was he to do that? Did he know me?

“Ah.” He paused, catching his breath as he looked at me, almost angrily. “Don’t you ever think that of doing that again.” He paused, shaking his head. “You have absolutely no idea how much your family would be devastated.”

Who was this guy?

Over the summer before the new school year, I couldn’t stop thinking of the boy who saved me. Well, I guess I was going to come down anyway, but still nonetheless he saved me. Who was he? And why was he angry at me?

“Why would you even think about doing this?”

“You matter, what the hell is wrong with you.”

“Think about the people you’d hurt if you did it!”

He talked to me as if he knew me his whole life. When I asked him if he knew me, his only response was a blunt “no.” And he walked away. To his surprise, the elevator was closed for cleaning. I also had no sight whatsoever, and he ended up having to carry me down over ten flights of steps. I feel bad, honestly, but he was honestly okay with it. At least that what he said. He called me Ajumma a few times and I decided not to correct him, he was helping me out.

As I kept thinking about him one night while I was on my phone, an ad for a video popped up. “New makeup tricks for the new you!” It read out, with a thumbnail of a beautiful girl holding makeup.

New me? I could go for that.

As I watched the video, I had convinced myself that I was going to be the master of makeup before the new school year. Nearly every day I’d try a new look, and fail. My brother Jimin never held his laughter back as I looked like a clown, but I tried my best to become someone I always wanted to be. And with a few hundred dollars spent and lots and lots of mess ups, I finally had perfected my makeup. I wasn’t going to be that shy, ugly girl anymore. I was going to be the one everyone wanted. It only took about three months for it to all come together. I was starting school next week, and I was going to own it.

Take that, you bullies. It’s my time to shine.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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azurevi · 4 years ago

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on land where we can touch the moon (1/?)

Ok, so this is a really random idea, but it’s basically The Little Mermaid with Azul. And I wish I could excuse myself by saying that I was drunk writing this, but really I was just rushing it because I’ve been sitting on it for far too long. Anyways, enjoy!

Pairing : Azul / genderneutral reader

Characters : Grim, Ace and Deuce

Warnings/Triggers : none

Word count : 3,371

PART2 PART 3

“Isn’t this great,” you made a show of strolling along the railing, the beer in your hand threatening to spill. “The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face. Perfect day to be at sea!”

“Yes, well-” Jack paused mid-sentence to lean over the side. He sounded as though he was retching. “It is indeed a favourable weather, your royal highness- urk!”

“Now, what did I say about formalities, Jack?”

“You said, and I quote, ‘Call me by my first name, if only for today. It’s a direct order.’”

You went up to soothe his back. When he pulled his head up, his eyes were glossy and cheeks purple. “It’s inappropriate for you to see me in this state, your majesty,”

“So you’re defying my orders now? And on my birthday, no less?”

“That man is all work and no fun,” Ace commented bitterly. He and Deuce were on the opposite side of the ship, holding their respective mugs of beer.

“That’s what makes him the knight commander,” Deuce said.

“A knight commander who’s seasick, huh?”

“Shut up, both of you!“

You chortled blatantly, chest light and hair spraying in the wind.

"Fireball Attack!”

There was a sharp yell, and Grim’s fur was all up in your face before you knew it.

“Hey, hey! Someone’s in a good mood!” You cradled him in your arms. His fur was fluffy and sticking up in the air in all directions.

While you were entertaining your attention-starved familiar, your personal knights had managed to get into yet another fistfight. Jack, the poor commander, was cornered on the edge of the ship, his golden, distinguished pin somehow threatening to slip off in his fingers.

“If I drop my badge, I swear on my wage you’re getting extra morning training and night patrols for the next whole year-!”

He gagged slightly before turning sharply, elbowing Ace in the process. His arm jolted, and the badge escaped his firm pinch, glistening in the air. Time seemed to slow as it made its way downwards, all the while the knights’ mouths grew rounder and rounder.

It plummeted right into the sea, made an insignificant plop and continued sinking quietly, slowly, until the sea muted the screams on deck and the light dwindled.

“We should really stay away, Rory,”

“Quit being a chicken,”

Lovett was falling behind. Rory had insisted that they visit this deeper and lesser known part of the ocean due to a half-hearted dare. And Rory, headstrong that she was, would never back down from a challenge.

“Haven’t you heard? Deep where the light doesn’t reach lives the evil Sea Merchant! A force to be reckoned with! It’s-”

Lovett swivelled swiftly. He was pretty sure something had just swam past from behind.

“Oh, for the love of Poseidon, please don’t eat me for I’m just a standard merman!”

“Will you zip?” Rory was already a few feets ahead. Lovett continued to mumble prayers as he flapped his tail harder.

There was almost no light now, but they could still make out the outlines of rocks and corals. It was uncanny how there was nary a sign of life, not even a lanternfish.

“What’s- what’s the dare anyways?”

“To steal something from the evil Sea Merchant’s collection,”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Lovett gasped. He had yet to notice how they’d swam into a forest of seaweeds. Some clung to their tails as they swam by and tickled their sides.

Something strong and somewhat slimy wrapped around Lovett’s arm. Presuming that it was just another irritating weed, he swung his arm back and forth. It only seemed to grow tighter.

“Great seas, what-” he turned to inspect. “Oh- oh- ten-TENTACLE!”

Rory sprinted around at the scream. “Holy-” she murmured, speechless and shocked to the core.

Wrapped around Lovett’s elbow was no doubt a tentacle lined with suckers. For a while, it didn’t seem to be moving, but then Lovett was yanked away like lightning.

“Lovett!”

The first thought that came to his mind was that he was going to be eaten. That was until he was met with a frowning face. One under silver messy hair. Then his eyes traveled down the seemingly countless slithering tentacles that stretched out from the man, and he was trembling in fear again.

“Please-! Don’t eat me! I have the least nutritional diet!”

The man didn’t answer. Instead, he squinted at Lovett for an agonizingly long time before finally letting him loose. Lovett squirmed and backed away. The area where he had been held had become swollen red.

“Lovett?” Rory had just gotten into the scene. Lovett didn’t wait a second to break into a run, but Rory caught him by his elbow where it was still hurting.

“We gotta run, Rory-”

‘Huh. What, it’s just Ashengrotto? Have you forgotten about him already?“

Lovett whimpered when Rory advanced on the man. He narrowed his gaze behind a neat pair of glasses. Lovett half expected Rory to be squeezed to death on the spot.

"You’re lurking down here now? How lame. And I see that you still got those hideous fingers of yours,” Rory gestured at his tentacles. “You seriously don’t remember him, Lovett? You have shit memories. Does Azul Ashengrotto from college ring a bell?”

It took Lovett a long, long time to get it. “That’s right, you’re Azul! Man, how you’ve changed- wait, are you the Sea Merchant?”

There was nothing that could rival the bitterness in Azul’s voice. “Pleased to see you again, Lovett,”

“Is it easier to prey on fishes down here? Or are you just that insecure about yourself?” Rory paid no mind to their conversation.

“… It’s none of your business,”

“It actually is. You see, knowing that an ink-blasting octopus lives in the same water as I do is really unnerving-”

“Then make your leave.”

Rory’s smug look faltered.

“Why should I? You don’t even own this part of the ocean-”

“Oh? Who are these friends of yours, Azul?”

A singsong voice once again interrupted Rory. She turned on her spot, only to find herself face to face with a grinning face.

“Eek-!”

“Oh! If this isn’t Rory~ how kind of you to visit us!”

Lovett backed away quietly. He wasn’t going to stay for anymore of this horror. When two hands slammed onto his shoulders, he shrieked a key higher than any other that’s been sung by opera singers.

“Where do you think you’re going?” a far more stern and solid voice asked. It was one of those voices you hear in persuading commercials.

It was the Leech brothers, in their long, slender eel forms.

Lovett thought that was it. This was his doom. He was either going to get eaten alive or squeezed to his demise. He should never have agreed to come here. And now he was going to die. He didn’t even get to experience life-

“It’s fine, Jade, Floyd,” Azul said calmly. The hands on Lovett’s shoulders retreated, and Rory rushed towards him hastily and pulled him up and up until they were out of the seaweeds.

“I can’t believe you let them off that easily!” Floyd complained, pouting hard. “We could’ve had some fun with them first, and yet you decided to play good guy?”

Azul didn’t reply. The three of them travelled between rocks and reefs, and while Azul seemed to be in search of something, the twins were merely accompanying.

“I believe he has his reasons,” Jade said, pausing in anticipation. When Azul didn’t soothe his curiosity, he sighed and decided to drop the topic.

Azul rummaged through the swaying weeds and peeked into the slits of the rocks. Nothing seemed to have piqued his interest. Then they swam even further away from where they’d started and reached a sunken ship.

While almost the entirety of the hull had rotten away the structure of the ship still remained intact. Anemones and sponges had claimed the pieces of wood. Tiny shrimps traveled freely between poles and debrises.

Jade and Floyd followed tightly like bodyguards. They were at least mildly worried after the encounter with Rory and Lovett. They could still recall vividly how notorious Rory was and what a relief that they never had to meet again.

If anything, Azul seemed frustrated. His tentacles worked individually, shoving aside inconvenience hastily just like his hands. It was as though he’d lost something priced and valued.

“Let’s split up, alright? Treasure hunt’s no fun if we’re just following one another,” Floyd said as he rounded a corner and out of sight. Jade hesitantly stayed behind as well, leaving Azul to his own.

He’d been here so many times that he’d lost count. There was always something new and from the land somewhere between the ruins. But this time, it seemed to have become just another bland, boring place without any aesthetic value.

That was until something flickered in the corner of his eyes. It was so weak that it would’ve gone unnoticed by, say, Jade and Floyd, but Azul had always been delicate in treasure hunting. Nothing ever slipped his sight.

It looked like a badge. A golden brimmed badge with two crossed swords in the middle, and at the bottom carved two grand words - 'Knight Commander’.

“Oh, what’s that you’ve got there?”

“Ahh!"

Azul spoke up finally in a long time. The brothers had at some point started following him again.

"Looks like a badge,”

“Bet it sank just a few hours ago. It looks very intact,”

“Yeah,” Azul flipped it between his fingers, eyes tracing in fascination. “It’s not everyday you see something like this,”

His mood seemed to have lightened after this discovery. He was gratified. It’d been a while since he last found anything worthy enough to add to his collection of trinkets from ashore. It put a smile to his face just remembering his towering shelves of tiny valuables.

Azul owned a secret grotto that even the Leech brothers knew nothing of. He’d made sure that it was known only to him.

It was where he stored all the human objects he’d found undersea. Things like a trident but with four tips or a shallow, handled bowl. There were items as big as a golden pot and others as small as a hairclip. Everywhere he turned they were shimmering and singing about the unknown world outside the water, where mermaids had legs and walked instead of swimming, where they could dance instead of just swaying and flapping tails. Where they could go so many different places - forests and deserts, mountains and caves - many more than what the ocean held.

And they could reach the moon. The ageless, pensive moon that Azul could only wish to caress. But no matter how hard he stretched, it was only in his dreams where the moon would come down in all its glory, close enough to blind his eyes.

He needed to reach it. There was no other way. It was the single entity in the world that knew all the truths and lies, all the corruptions and praises. He had to see it, then he would get the answers - the truth he’d always hungered for.

Muffled rumbles snapped him out of his intensity. When he looked up from under the grotto, he’d thought he was hallucinating.

The usually azure (and rather bland, may he add) current was now painted with red- no, yellow- purple- it was changing with every muted clap. It might have as well been the end of the world with its bizarreness. However, there was something else stirring in Azul’s heart aside from confusion.

Curiosity. A haste force that was tingling in all his eight tentacles, as if there was no way to rid of the sensation except to swim towards the source.

It was wrong on so many levels. He’d been taught by teachers, friends and his parents that to go beyond the water was basically pleading to be killed. Humans are nothing but greedy, spineless, nasty fish-eaters who are incapable of emotions, that’s what everyone said.

Was that really the case, though? As Azul surveyed his collections, he found it harder by second to believe in the lore. How would they explain all these sparkling and antique cosmetics? How could a world that made so many wonderful things be bad?

And so he pushed aside all doubts that were chaining his limbs and flew towards the surface.

The moment he broke the fabric of water and chill air entered his ears, he was taken back by the sight before him.

A colossal wooden ship was sailing right above. Behind it, lights and fire burnt themselves in the sky then fell into the water dimly. There were singing and whooping aboard where he couldn’t see. The grandness of it all was so deafening that Azul failed to hear the voice of reason in his head as he neared the boat.

There was an opening at the side of the ship. Azul carefully stuck his head up so he wouldn’t be seen. At least not without squinting.

There were about five people dancing and hollering, some holding drinks in their hands while the others blowing into their snarfblats with reddened cheeks.

“Encore! Encore!” a red-haired guy yelled. Then there was an airy laugh in response. Azul turned sharply towards where it came from.

Azul was… awestruck, to say the least. You were grinning from eye to eye, which were diminished into slits. As you laughed on, Azul felt his chest lighten little by little. It was one of those laughs that pulled you closer and assured you that the world around was but a facade. He could listen to your laugh for the rest of his life and he’d never be distressed again.

“Alright, but can we first reveal the massive unknown that’s been standing here for the past hours? You know I can see it right?” you asked with confidence, and this confidence was just humble enough not to be arrogant.

“As you wish, mademoiselle,” another man with dark blue hair bowed with a flourish, then approached the object in question which was covered with a drape. He was at least tipsy with his wavering and unsteady steps.

“Presenting-!” he hollered before yanking the drape off. Surprisingly it was a golden statue made to resemble you.

You recoiled in mild distaste, but your smile remained. Azul pondered about how you still managed to radiate a cheerfulness despite your negative reaction.

It also occurred to him that it was made in gold. Out of all his collectibles there was rarely even a gold necklace. You must have a reputation for someone to make you such a big deal.

“Well, here’s your birthday present, milady,” the tipsy man was throwing names spontaneously now. The red-haired had to drag him away from the railing several times. You had all resumed singing and dancing. Azul was so captivated by your figure that he didn’t even notice the fireworks dying down.

You and a dark-skinned man were leaning right next him now. What looked like a cat but with flame shaped ears and a devil’s tail started sniffing in the vicinity. Azul was having a hard time staying out of its way and eavesdropping on your conversation.

“You sure you don’t want some?” you raised your mug to his face, which he declined respectfully.

“I’d prefer to stay sober,” he said. “You know, I don’t wish to spoil your birthday, but the king’s being more pressing than ever,”

“Yeah? About what?”

He stared at you for a moment before answering, as if he was trying to look pass your display.

“About marriage, of course,”

You didn’t answer. Though the corners of your lips were still raised in the aftermath of all the previous hypes, you were obviously unhappy to be there. Azul wished the man would shut up and bring your smile back instead.

“It’s not just the King, your highness. The whole kingdom wants to see you happily settled down with the right person,”

“Jack-” you took a deep, deep breath. “It’s not something that can come quicker just because you’re anxious. I have to find the right person-”

“I understand…” Jack mumbled under his breath. He didn’t look like he understood at all.

“- and they’re out there somewhere. I’m sure. I just haven’t found them yet,” you turned and dangled your arms over the railing. Azul quietly swam under your hands. He could probably touch your fingertips if he stretched hard enough.

“When I see them, it’s gonna hit me. Like bam! Like lightning-”

As if hearing your prayer the sky cracked open with a loud cry and grew darker still. The other men scattered out hurriedly, looking as though they’d never drunk anything.

“Hurricane coming in! Stand fast, secure the rigging!”

It all happened so fast. The wind was so strong that Azul could almost feel himself being blown away. The sky rumbled again and lightning started a rapid fire where it’d striked. He noticed a rock looming just ahead, but no one on board seemed to have noticed it.

He should probably go. It’s the safest under the sea. The sky couldn’t hurt a hair of his. But then he heard your screams of commands, and suddenly he was a brave knight willing to give up his life for the princette.

You weren’t on the ship when he neared. Instead, you were already secured on a piece of log, as well as the other men. He exhaled a relieved sigh, but it didn’t last as he heard cries from the ship.

“Ah! Get away you nasty fire- help!” cried a high-pitched voice.

“Oh no, Grim!” you gasped. Without a second thought, you let loose of the log and rushed towards the burning ship. The broken ship gave you better access as you hopped on, but the moment you’d secured your familiar, the ship roared and you tripped and fell.

“Look out!” Azul yelled out futilely. The ship ran straight into the rock and BOOM, everything was set ablaze. Azul dodged between dropping debrises mindlessly as he roamed around in search of you.

When nothing was found above, he dived back into the water and there you were - sinking into the water, growing darker and darker by second. He was next to you in a blink - thanks to his fast-moving tentacles.

Your group had already gone out of sight when he emerged again, but to his best luck there was a piece of land just near, and he raced there like he was going to lose his own life if he was too late. It was only when you were pulled up on the dryland that he could soothe his pounding heartbeat.

He was bewildered at the fact that he could breathe on land just as well as he did under water. Aside from the sand that had started sticking to his tentacles the moment they touched, nothing seemed to be out of place.

“Hey,” he’d never rescued a drowning human before. He didn’t even know what drowning was.

“Are you dead?” he slapped your cheek lightly. Your chest didn’t seem to be heaving, and your lips were as pale as snow.

“Hey-”

“Blergh!” Your head jerked up and suddenly you were coughing up water. Azul squeaked before scurrying over to hide behind a rock.

Your head was drooping back and forth as you held yourself up with wobbly arms. Then you started turning around and locked eyes with Azul’s as he peeked out tentatively.

Oh, it’s bad. This is very bad.

“Who-” you started to stand, and at the same time Azul began to reach for the water stealthily so you wouldn’t notice. He knew he’d be screwed if he was spotted.

“Y/N!” someone cried from far away, and you turned to look. The split second was just enough for him to crawl back into the water and out of sight.

The water washed the sand off him quickly, erasing all the evidence that he’d been out there violating one of the strictest rules under the sea, but despite all, he found himself already missing the crisp air above.

If any, he’d grown more fond of the unknown world that you lived in.

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #sie writes

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piracytheorist · 4 years ago

Text

So I went down some t*rf tags the other day to find which blogs I should block, as you do, and of course in order to avoid accidentally blocking people who were mocking the ideology or sarcastically agreeing with it, I actually read the posts there and scrolled down some of the blogs.

And with some of the things I saw... it made me understand how they reel people in. In some of the stuff they said, I understood them. I understood their struggle, and their anger, and I got how their feelings could make them burst out the way they do in their blogs. Also the fact that many of the blogs I scrolled down and blocked were by women between the ages of 15 and 19 didn’t help. That’s the exact age where you do the most reckless, the most emotional, and the least experienced thinking. It’s when you think of something and immediately think you’re right, because you’re not developed enough, neither mentally, nor emotionally, nor from the aspect of life experiences, to know better and reflect on how well developed your thoughts are.

And to see them act the same way older t**fs do, like in the ages of 26+... it’s fucking scary. It genuinely feels like a cult, where teen women, frustrated with the misogyny they experience, come to a website to vent out their feelings about that and find passionate adult women agreeing with and supporting them and saying that they’re in the right to hate men and trans women... it solidifies their at then immature thoughts.

Like, give me one (1) cis woman who during her mid- or late teens didn’t hate men, even for just a few months, in reaction to being treated as lesser just for having a female body. Just one. I specifically did. I was, for a couple of years actually, believing the bullshit going around that “Girls are more mature than boys”, that “Girls love truly, boys only want sex”, that “Women are statistically smarter than men” etc etc. But then you grow up, you reflect on those thoughts and you go like “Damn older people are right when they say that teenagers do stupid stuff sometimes”.

And that’s the thing with being a teenager; it’s the time to do mistakes, it’s the time to screw up, to vent out your frustrations, and when you grow older and have more life experience, look back at how you used to think and say “Wow, cringe. Good thing I grew out of that.” Absolutely not saying that everything teenagers do is stupid, if anything, most people start discovering themselves at that age. But that’s it; it’s a start. And on that road you’ll make mistakes, you’ll reflect, you’ll change your mind, you’ll learn, you’ll grow. The things that you start connecting with as a teenager which you keep on in your adult life also change, in the way that you look at them deeper, you understand them differently... it’s like with favourite films. Any movie you love as a teenager and as an adult, you’ll have a different mindset on the two occasions. Even if it brings you back to those times, you still have developed and you see it in a different way. Both ways may be positive, or fundamentally similar, but they’re still different, maybe one is the evolution of the first; it’s still not 100% the same. Because you grew up. It’s kinda sad, in a way.

So the issue I have with indoctrinating young women into the t**f ideology from so early on, is that it’s an ideology based on hate. By saying that women are only those who experience misogyny, you’re basically normalizing misogyny and abuse, and averting the blame. You’re saying that it’s expected from men to be misogynistic, and that women should band together against the oppression... instead of looking into why men are misogynistic and looking how you can inspire change in that. It’s victim blaming, basically.

By saying that “trans women are not women because they don’t grow up experiencing the effects of misogyny and patriarchy on themselves” (in a way that’s bullshit but as a cis woman I can’t expand on that, read trans women’s stories instead), you’re putting the responsibility of erasing misogyny on trans women. And again, you’re normalizing the abuse, and you’re defining your gender by the abuse you went through.

Like, fuck no. I was bullied for more than half my school life. It has impacted me greatly, many of the emotional scars I carry them still, my character has been affected by the abuse I went through, but by fuck no does it define me. I choose to try to be kinder. I choose to see abuse as wrong. I choose to be an educator so that I can help bullying stop being a thing in the schools I’ll be teaching. And not because I feel ashamed, or that I pity children who are being bullied, but because I want to make this world a better place, because I believe in teaching the younger generation into not perpetuating any kind of hateful ideology.

That’s not what t**fs do. They just say they hate men and perpetuate the idea of female supremacy... as if women, even women who are privileged in every way other than having a female body, can never do wrong.

Like on one hand, they deify JKR who said that “I am not a victim, I do not pity myself and I’m growing out of my trauma strong” in a very, very victim-shaming way, and on the other hand they define their femininity on the fact that they’re victimized by the patriarchy. Make it make sense.

And in general, it is still an ideology based on hate. When you take a group of people that are struggling both on the inside (either through gender dysphoria or through the pressure of not feeling free to express themselves) and on the outside (either because they’re bullied if they act “out of the gender norm” or because of transphobia if they come out), and you hate on them, when you put the entire responsibility of erasing unrealistic expectations on beauty and appearance for women on that specific small group that’s in a fundamentally disadvantageous position... bro I don’t know what you call it, I call it targeting. You have your frustrations with the patriarchy and sexist men, and because those people won’t listen to you - mostly because they’re privileged and assisted in that by the system they create - and you take it out on a group of people that’s just trying to live their lives in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone.

Like, I saw someone being upset by people comparing t**fs to nazis because she’s Jewish and I’m like... how the heck can you not see the similarities? How can you grow up Jewish and not see that it’s wrong to target an entire group of people, massively hate on them, say that they “have an agenda” just because they want to be themselves and aren’t hurting anyone? How can you not see that cherry-picking the unkind or misled ones and defining the entire group by those few people is wrong?

In fact, how can you not see that “trans women are perpetuating Hollywood’s beauty standards for women” has the exact same basis as “immigrants of colour are stealing white people’s jobs”?

And you may say, “Lillpon, you’re doing the same with t**fs right now. You’re going out there and blocking them after having said you hate blocking people” and I’ll say, I am not hating on them. As I said, I’m scared by seeing how many of them are teenagers, but at the same time, it’s telling. It’s a cult-like mentality, it finds people who are frustrated with how they are treated, who feel wronged, who feel they’re in an unjust world, and it takes those feelings and targets it to one specific group or characteristic. For t**rfs, that’s the XY chromosome set. For neo-nazis, that’s non-Caucasian races. The whole “finding young people who are alone, who see that the world is unjust, who feel no-one listening to them and indoctrinating them to an ideology of hate” is point-blank exactly how neo-nazi groups work. Here is a very interesting TED talk on the matter by a former neo-nazi, if you’re interested.

Also, I never said I hate blocking people, or that I think it’s wrong. I just don’t think it’s something to be proud of, and in fact I’m not proud for blocking those people, I even feel a little guilty as I understand how many of them are just victims of indoctrination.

You’ll say, “But Lillpon, a lot of neo-nazis are spoiled, privileged white men! How can you know how privileged t**fs are??” And to that, I’ll turn communist and whisper in your ear, “The privileged are few. They’re the minority. And they depend on the lower classes fighting against each other so that people forget that it’s the privileged who make all the laws and standards that hurt all the lower classes.” To that extent, you can never, never know who truly hides behind the blogs and twitter accounts with “r*dfem lesbian” on their bio. There are many occasions, especially on twitter, where accounts that claimed to be queer poc were found out to be run by straight white men.

... So, who can guarantee that everyone running a blog with “r*dfem lesbian” on their bio is actually a cis, lesbian woman? And again, on its basis, it’s the same.

Neo-nazism is putting the blame on people of colour; that not only causes a rift between neo-nazis and poc, but also between neo-nazis and white people who oppose them. It’s in fact a pawn so that the white people in power - the people who are responsible for the problems poc and lower class white people face - can avoid having everyone against them. They give poc and less-racist lower class white people a scapegoat.

T**f ideology is putting the blame on people born in male bodies - absolutely no matter what their character is. Again, that causes rifts between t**fs and cis men, t**fs and trans people, and t**fs and cis women who support trans rights. Instead of focusing on seeing how we can stop cis men from being sexist - which of course will inconvenience the men in power who rose so high because misogyny is holding women back - we’re fighting against each other. It’s again, a pawn, a scapegoat, to distract us from blaming the one who’s truly to blame.

If anything, if you’re a t**f, the fact that what you do is helping the white men in power - because absolutely nothing you or your friends can do can affect them in a negative way - should be a reason by itself to not be a t**f. But what do I know.

#anarchist lillpon coming out #long post

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neokad · 4 years ago

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Touhou VI: The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil - or my first journey into a bullet hell game

Touhou is that one pew pew game series with cute anime gals, right?

Source: https://pixiv.kurocore.com/illust/54033795

Just like what I think are many people, that’s pretty much all I knew about the franchise as a whole! And to be honest, for a long long time, I was AFRAID of going any closer to anything Touhou-related! Because of them being bullet hecks, they seemed like the most frustrating and unfun games I could possibly be playing! But then... time passed... Fast forward to somewhere in 2020: I was watching the biyearly Games Done Quick event, and one of the first runs showcased during it was none other than Touhou Luna Nights! But while the speedrun itself was very impressive, the thing that really captivated me was well... everything else! Even though this was only a Metroidvania fangame, IT LOOKED LIKE SO MUCH FUN! The graphics, the special effects, the mechanics... everything just seemed like a dream! In spite of that, I only picked the game up and played it about a year later, thanks to a Steam sale! And to keep things short, I ADORED it. It was a bit too short, but everything else was spot on, and even better than I thought it would be from what I saw at GDQ! But that’s sadly a review for another time :( Because I literally fell in love in this game, well... I thought “screw it, I’ve been morbidly curious for years now, let’s actually try a freakin’ Touhou game!”

And so, after some research I’ve learned that the sixth game - the first one released on Windows PCs! - was the one that served as inspiration for Luna Nights as a whole - its characters, music, stage aesthetics and more! It just seemed natural to settle with this one~

How did it go? What did I think about it? Well, that’s why we’re here: those are my thoughts about Touhou VI: the Embodiment of Scarlet Devil.

Now for a pointless history lesson: as I said earlier, Touhou 6 was the very first game published for Windows PCs, all the way back in 2002! The five previous games were actually exclusive to a Japan-only machine, the NEC PC-98, a line that prevailed strongly in Japan before Microsoft conquered the world. As such, it’s really the first game that’s still relatively accessible today, as PC-98 emulation is... not really a stable thing yet -_- So even though this wasn’t quite true, it’s as if I started my journey into Touhou with the original! And once I started playing, I was honestly surprised at one thing once I hit the title screen: this game actually has lots of options to make the experience easier or harder!

I know that being able to change your starting lives, starting bombs, choose your overall difficulty and such isn’t groundbreaking at all, but honestly? I didn’t expect things to be so customisable in a bullet heck game series - a genre that’s known for being merciless to players! I did decide to go on Normal to have the “intended” experience, but things aren’t as daunting as you may think!

This game also allows you to play as not only Reimu, the poster character of the franchise, but also Marisa! Both of these girls also boasts two different weapons each, with their own strengths, weaknesses and bomb attacks! Again, I genuinely did not expect so much breathing room even though looking back... I feel like I should have : P

Once I actually started playing the game itself, there’s yet another thing that surprised me: the difficulty curve... it’s... manageable??

Now granted, I’m a person that plays a *lot* of games, and on top of that, I play lots of action games as well, games that require quick reaction times, good pattern reading and so on so forth. So there’s a chance my judgement on the game’s difficulty might be wrong or biased... but to me? Embodiment of Scarlet Devil actually has a good difficulty curve! The first stage of the game has many enemies that can shoot many bullets, but they’re slow, predictable and relatively easy to avoid because you have lots of space to maneuver around! On that same train of thought, Rumia, the first stage’s boss, certainly doubles down on the number of bullets she can throw at you. But, their patterns are once again pretty slow and predictable, making things much more comfortable at the start of your adventure!

But hold on a minute here, how does this game actually plays? Well, this is where I need to let out a horrifying truth:

Touhou is actually really, REALLY fun.

At first it does seem like a pretty standard shooter: you shoot at things, dodge bullets, collect power ups to boost your weapon’s strength, and make sure you don’t die too much in order to reach the final boss in good shape. However, what I ended up loving about Touhou are its many, many mechanics that spice things up beautifully! The first one I wanna focus on is “Grazing” and it’s actually pretty simple: if you do your best to get close to a bullet or a laser without touching it with your (very small!) hitbox, you graze that bullet! Not only will a satisfying sound effect play out each time you graze something, you will also gain points each time you do this maneuver, making it essential for a high score, and especially, to gain extra lives faster! Secondly, there’s bombing! I am totally repeating myself here, but while each character has a different kind of bomb to their disposal, they each function in relatively the same way: you get to launch a strong attack against your opponents, get invincibility frames, and on top of that, get rid of any bullets that are currently on the screen! I love bombs in this game because they create a great balance: you can totally use them for offensive purposes, buuuut they also serve as a great defensive clutch if you just find things too difficult at the moment. Bombs even have two extra layers to them! When you will get hit and lose a life (and believe me, you will) your bombs will get refilled back to three, urging you to not hoard them too much even if you’d prefer to save them for a tougher part. Because if you die, you might just “waste” bombs in a way! However, here’s an advanced kicker: if you manage to hit the bomb button just as you are hit by a projectile (8 frames within death I think!) you not only are able to save yourself from losing a life, you also won’t lose a bomb at all, either! This is a very difficult trick, but a very cool and potentially important one if you plan things out in the heat of battle ^^

Then there’s a mechanic that, to my knowledge, got introduced in EOSD: the POC, as in Point Of Collection! Now, as you destroy the many enemies after Reimu or Marisa, they naturally drop many power ups and point icons, and because there’s many of these you’re bound to miss them. However, this is where the POC comes in: if you are at full weapon power, you will earn the ability to collect every icon on the screen! This makes sense and is actually very smart, because most players - myself included - tend to hug the bottom of the screen as bullets are more scarce and slower here. BUT reaching that POC close to the top of the screen is a great way to incentivise players to risk things in order to get a massive amount of points and gain extra lives way faster! And finally, as soon as you do reach that max power, the game will automatically wipe every single projectile off the screen, so it’s even possible to time when you’ll get your final power boost to make things easier on yourself!

All of those mechanics together make Touhou EOSD a pure joy to play! It’s simple on the surface but has such interesting mechanics and risk-reward elements that can push you out of your comfort zone, but never forces you to! And sure enough, I got addicted~

Even though I did say that the game had a good curve and started off not too difficult, it does not mean that your journey will be easy: even early game bosses such as Cirno and Meiling took me lots of practice to get consistent at, by studying their patterns and testing out which strategies worked the best for survival. And eventually, even Patchouli and Sayaka’s stages will test you out with lots of predictable-yet-deadly bullets to test out your screen reading skills and even reflexes.

Touhou may be more accessible than I thought, but do not be mistaken: on Normal, this game will still challenge you, and I absolutely love it for that <3

Another thing that helps this game out is - please pretend to be surprised - the music. Touhou has always been known for bringing some very good tunes all around, but besides Luna Nights’s incredible soundtrack, I actually never got to listen to any of them besides Bad Apple and one fanime opening my bestie sent me one year ago. And well... it’s true!

The game uses some very artificial, even out-of-tune instruments for its music, but strangely enough, it REALLY works! It gives the music a very nostalgic, warm feeling that’s hard to describe, but it works so well at making those songs catchy as all heck! It also helps that the compositions themselves are pretty strong and surprisingly complex for its genre, too! I would pick a favourite theme to show off, but the soundtrack’s just really consistent and good all around!

Sadly, I mostly cannot say the same for the game’s presentation. This game is a PC app from 2002 and it sadly somewhat shows. I’ll even bring a special mention to the in-game portraits, which are hilariously HORRIBLE! Thankfully dedicated fans have made a patch to improve the game’s visuals so that they’re more in line with later titles, but at base it’s really not the prettiest gem visually...

...except for the spell cards, the bosses’s strongest attacks, which are genuinely gorgeous multicolored motives that will struck you in awe before you are inevitably destroyed by them, it’s great! My favourite is the one you get from Meiling’s mid stage encounter, pictured above!

Before wrapping up this long, long post, I do wanna add this: the game will unfortunately only give you the good ending only by playing on Normal and above, and only if you beat the game without using any continues. This is called a 1CC, or 1 Credit Clear. Even if I don’t think the bad ending’s actually that unsatisfactory, I did want to get better at the game! So I practiced for many hours a day for a couple of weeks, memorized each boss’s patterns, learned where to graze, when to optimally reach the POC to get as many points as possible... this game pushed me to get better with an incentive, a reward waiting at the end, on top of the satisfaction of simply cheesing what used to be so difficult at some point and... well, I think this is the proof of a well-crafted game right there. After many failed attempts, I finally managed to 1CC this game (pictures below!!) and it was, genuinely, one of the most satisfying moments in my gaming life <3

So... yeah. I might be a Touhou fan now. Welp.

Touhou VI: The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil was such a pleasant surprise for me: I expected a game I’d find somewhat boring at best and frustrating at worst, but I ended up having a very, very good time, and honestly? It’s not as hard as you’d think it is! You can beat a Touhou game, so long as you are interested in practicing and getting better, and I promise it’ll feel rewarding in the best of ways <3

I just wanna say thank you to Luna Nights and Team Ladybug, because without them, I would have never been curious and then surprised by how cool this game is. Thank you <3

And many thanks to you, the reading, for staying until the end! Thank you for reading!

#long post #touhou #touhou eosd #eosd

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honeybeeadventures · 4 years ago

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ALICE IN BORDERLAND || a honeybeeadventures review

FULL DISCLOSURE: This review may be a little bit biased and that's gonna have to be okay this time because boy, do I LOVE this show.

If you're a fan of foreign tv shows and you haven't heard of Alice in Wonderland by now, then you may be living under a rock. This show, which premiered during the holiday season of the treacherous year known as 2020, is Netflix's most popular live-action adaptation to date. Yes, that's right, adaptation. That is because Alice in Borderland is based on the manga of the same name written and illustrated by Haro Aso.

This time, I will try to hold back all of my spoilers since this show is full of twists and turns and honestly, deserves a blank first impression going into it. I want to make sure that everyone who watches this show because of my review gets to experience it fully without my recapping the events haha. I will try to summarize without ruining anything, though.

Alice In Borderland is a Netflix Japan Original Adaptation of the manga that bears its namesake by Haro Aso which originally ran from April 2011 to April 2016. The show premiered on Netflix on December 10, 2020, and just 14 days later, a second season was confirmed by Netflix.

The show follows Arisu Ryohei and his friends after they witness fireworks in the middle of the day and are dropped into another world where most of the people in Shibuya are gone and the only way to survive is to risk their lives playing games that extend their visas and their right to live in that world. Every game is treacherous and usually ends with a loss of life, though some games do have finite solutions that can save players and preserve their well-being. Along the way, Arisu ( a name which is the Japanese way of pronouncing Alice, by the way ) meets a cast of characters that will seem fairly familiar to you if you've ever seen, read, or really have ever even heard of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol or any of its adaptations.

I typically talk about diversity when I review shows, however, as this is a Japanese show, it's not really fair or easy to judge them on that metric because of course, everyone in the show is Japanese ( as they should be since the manga is set in Tokyo ). However, I will say that in the show, there is a character who says that everyone is free to sleep with whoever they want, no matter what gender and there is also a character that is a part of the Alphabet Mafia ( LGBTQIA+ ... I should make a glossary for this blog lol ). While only one ( confirmed ) members of the Alphabet Mafia isn't a lot, it is based on a manga, and considering the manga is written/illustrated by a Japanese man who was in his 30s at the time, I'm gonna chalk that up as the progressiveness of Haro Aso while still wanting to keep his audience.

Now, down to what you really came here for. I'll list the scores below before we get into why I gave them these scores.

Originality of Content: 8/10

Production Quality: 9/10

Resolution: 6/10

Acting/Cast Members: 10/10

Ability to Keep Interest: 10/10

Provocation: 8/10

Obviously, this show did really well by my standards, and here's the breakdown so you can see why.

Originality of Content: 8/10

If we're being honest here, Alice in Borderland definitely isn't the first manga/anime based on the premise of playing a game to survive or get somewhere in the world ( see: Kakegurui, No Game: No Life, .hack//, Gamble Fish, etc. or Rengoku Dead Role which is actually...very similar to AIB ). However, despite this, it still feels like there's some strong originality brought to this concept. Combining the Japanese love for games and a classical western story gives Alice In Borderland just what it needs to easily become a fan favorite. As someone who really favors game-based anime and manga ( because I really favor game design ), I think that the way that Alice In Borderland is a refreshing nod to the genre.

There's a couple of reasons for this but I'll boil it down to just two. The first is that it's not predictable. The issue with a lot of the game-based animes that I'm familiar with is that they are fairly predictable since most games work the same way, but with Alice In Borderland that is different. The rules to each game that is played seem so simple that they seem deceptive but they also seem complex in the way that a riddle is simple yet complex. Every answer that first comes to your mind is probably going to be wrong and you need to think about it more deeply than that. Sometimes, when the rules of the game were being explained, I found myself wanting to pause to see if I could figure out the solution of the game, too, as I watched Arisu think of it, as well.

The second reason is that Alice In Borderland keeps things fresh with its cast of characters. Rather than some characters being evil because that's 'just the way they are', Alice In Borderland really speaks to the effect of the pressure that is put on young people to succeed and how that can end up in them being more mentally lost than they were, to begin with. It also highlights struggles with gender identity, self-worth, complex family relationships, and living up to one's potential. It does this in such a way that even when a character is downright evil, such as Niragi ( IYKYK), there is almost a feeling of pity for them. This isn't because you sympathize with their actions but more so because it isn't difficult to see how the pressure of life turned them into this monster that you are now watching there. I also enjoyed the fact that there wasn't as much dramatic irony in this show as in many others. While dramatic irony is never a necessarily bad thing, it was nice to genuinely be surprised when a character did something instead of knowing that someone was plotting behind someone else's back.

Production Quality: 9/10

This is a statistic that comes with an asterisk of context and that context is that before this, I had been watching Uchu Sentai Kyuranger and if you know what the production quality of that is like then you understand how it may have influenced this show's score a bit. Even without the comparison fallacy of the two, though, AIB scores high in production quality for one reason more than any other to me. For a show with a lot of blood and death, I wasn't unwilling to believe that these people had actually died. Yes, I'm sure that no actors were harmed in the making of this series, however, if I was a little more naive, I might've doubted that a bit. After all, Live Action adaptations are definitely not known for their believability. I will give AIB the benefit of the doubt in saying that this concept wasn't that difficult to pull off since most of the injuries were similar to what you'd expect on your typical action movie set ( compared to...you know...something involving sci-fi or fantasy) but even in the scenes where people get their necks blown off by explosive collars, it looked like they were nearly decapitated...the way that you would expect if someone's neck was blown off by an explosive collar. All in all, if you want to believe it, you will. It's definitely not a hard stretch.

Resolution: 6/10

Okay, okay, so if you've read the manga or have even glanced at the r/AliceInBorderlandLive subreddit then you know this is kind of an unfair score since...well, they're not done. There's more to the story and the eight episodes that we've seen thus far are only about a third of what AIB has to offer since the manga has two sequels, one of which will be finished on Feb. 18 of this year. However, I will see that statement and raise it with "What if it hadn't been such a great success?" I'm all for ending on cliffhangers to force the network or in this case, Netflix to continue your show but since the first season of AIB covers so much of the storyline, it almost feels wrong to end it short the way that it did. I did like how they had the big reveal of the villain at the end and the way they showed what was coming next but it did feel a little anti-climactic when I realized I was on the last episode since it seemed more like a mid-season break type end instead of a season finale. Since there is a sequel to AIB, I wasn't feeling too discouraged but it's definitely something to think about when watching. If you don't plan on reading the manga, you might be left content starving and questioning until sometime near the end of 2021.

Acting/Cast Members: 10/10

If I was just scoring this show on acting, then it would've gotten an all-kill because each and every single actor in this show from the side characters like Nijiro Murakami and Dori Sakurada to Kento Yamazaki who plays Arisu himself is beyond talented and amazing. It is important to remember that all of the characters in this show had a life before they were transported to the Borderland and in this twisted world, something about the changes that make them different than before so in a way, these actors are responsible for not only playing the characters but also the characters past selves before this growth period in which they change into something either completely opposite or completely different than who they were before.

Somehow, this cast manages to take characters that are already so established ( in the manga ) and become them to the point that looking at them within the role and looking at them outside of the role, it almost seems as if they are really two completely different people. As I said before, some of the characters in Alice In Borderland have a correlation to characters from Alice in Wonderland and have their own unique backgrounds on top of that. This gives to the depth of the characters and makes them dynamic but on top of that, it makes them complex, and yet, these actors seem to have the act of embodying these characters down so well that it astonishes me to see them in other roles and know that it's the same person.

I'll be breaking down my three favorite performances to give you a bit of insight on the reason why this show's cast is well-worth looking into.

Dori Sakurada as Niragi Suguru

So let's be honest here, as much as we all like to pretend that we're immune to someone being attractive just because they also prove to be an awful person, but if we're being honest with ourselves, we're not and I am most certainly no exception to that rule. Dori Sakurada is a handsome man whose good looks are only matched in quality by his amazing acting skills. If you're familiar with his work then you know exactly what I'm talking about and if you're not, then I'd recommend watching 3B no Koibito ( Available with English subs on Youtube ) or Scum's Wish ( Available on Rakuten Viki ) to get an idea of how varied this man's acting skills are. In AIB, he plays a character that is somewhat villainous and can almost be classified as your stereotypical movie sociopath. Yet, still, there's something intriguing beyond just his good looks. Dori Sakurada's performance breaths new air into the lungs of the character of Niragi by not only becoming the villain but also, by picking up the mannerisms and master gestures associated with the character that make him such a memorable part of the story. I haven't seen Dori's full Filmography but the character I have seen outside of AIB are a complete left turn from this character which makes me think that the casting director at Netflix Japan needs a raise for having chosen someone who looks so sweet to be such a villain.

Nijiro Murakami as Chishiya Shuntaro

When it comes to characters that become scene-stealers, Chishiya Shuntaro is definitely one of them. This character is so powerful that I, even, named my cat after him. That is a fact of which I am not ashamed. From the second episode of the show, when we are first introduced to him, he becomes an integral part of the framework of the game he is involved in and it is obvious that we will see him again. That being said, there is no way to word Murakami's performance besides 'integral' as my friend put it, "I literally could not imagine anyone else playing this character." As Chishiya, Murakami takes on such a life and ease in the character that it's almost difficult to believe that the sly facial expressions paired with his nonchalant air are not in his nature and are, in fact, something that he donned for the role. I look forward to seeing not only more of Murakami as this character but exploring more of his filmography in general.

Aya Asahina as Hikari Kuina

Kuina as a character is someone that the protagonist does not meet until a few episodes into the show but when it comes to backstories and characters with rich personalities, she shines compared to a lot of other characters I have seen like her. I won't spoil her backstory for you since she's definitely someone who represents something that's a little bit rarer in stories from more reserved cultures but she definitely deserved a mention in this category due to her amazing acting skills and her flawless stunt scenes.

Ability to Keep Interest: 10/10 || Provocation: 8/10

While the rest of my stats got their own individual evaluation, these are going to be combined and the reason for this is because they have the same reasons for their scores. As I mentioned before, Alice In Borderland takes a new spin on the 'play games to live' genre that is so common amongst anime and manga and for that reason, it was able to keep my interest so much so I finished watching it over the course of two days. It was also a deeply thought-provoking situation because the nature of the games and the backgrounds of the characters forced me to think up my own games and my own ideas of where the characters whose backstories are not explained could've come from. That being said, a lot of the thoughts that the show provoked did end up becoming depressing, especially after reading the manga because I discovered that some games could not have had a better outcome due to their simple rules and that made me very sad because even if I am not attached to or fond of a character, I still do not enjoy their downfall.

Overall: 8.5 = DING! DING! DING! WE HAVE A KEEPER!

Overall, I enjoyed Alice In Borderland enough to have rewatched it one and a half times since I first watched it a few weeks ago. As someone who rarely goes back to shows that involve plot twists and suspense because I already know what's going to happen, that really says a lot for not just the storyline but also the acting and amazing intricacies that are in the show. I still feel like each time I watch it, I glean some new detail or fact that I hadn't thought of before and I come to understand the games a bit more with each passing scene or episode. I also feel that the more I rewatch the show, the more I sympathize with even the villains and come to value and understand their motivations and roles. 8.5 out of 10. I WOULD RECCOMMEND.

Thanks for reading!!

#alice in borderland #aib review #alice in borderland review #tv show review #netflix review #alice in borderland netflix #nijiro murakami #dori sakurada #niragi suguru #chishiya #chisiya shuntaro #kuina hikari #aya asahina #kento yamazaki #kakegurui

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irondad-not-ironsad · 4 years ago

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WandaVision Episode 1 Reaction

Spoilers below!!

I enjoy the music over the marvel logo

But also a 43 second logo feels kinda long for a 29 minute episode- is it just for the premier or is this gonna happen before each ep?

Also I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that there is a title sequence, which will probably be similar in length. Combine that with the lengthy credits people have been complaining about, it seems that the percentage of the thirty minutes that is actually the story is lower than it should be

not that I don’t love a good title sequence! But I’ll take a well fleshed out episode over fancy logos, title sequences and credits any day

now that I’ve got that of my chest, on to the actual show

I like how they have the frame shaped like that of an old timey tv, combined with the black and white it really adds to the old timey sit come vibe

I like these bells

Ok I know I complained about to much time being wasted with logos and such, but i LOVE how cheesy this theme song is and I love them showing vision and Wanda driving tp there house in wedding attire

“A regular husband and wife” 2 seconds late *vision disappears into a cloud of sparkles*.... 1 minute 8 seconds in and I love this

Even there acting is reminiscent of an old timey sit com this is amazing

feel like I should note he title sequence ends at the 1.36 mark approximately, which may not seem like a lot but again the show is less than thirty minutes so it adds up

Wanda talks with a fifties accent: I already love this show

Also I wish I had magic I could use to clean, I’m moving back into my dorm right now and Wanda’s powers would be SO helpful

Also I LOVE the laugh track

Also Wanda’s short curly hair is so cute

I love how neither of them knows what the heart means so they play it off by being like “yeah of course I know what it means, how could I forget? Do YOU remember what it means

Also Vision is literally part computer shouldn’t he have a photographic memory?

Also how old is Wanda? I could have sworn someone said she was 19 in civil war, which would make her like 21 here? I think?? Idk tho, as a 19 year old I don’t think she has ever looked 19 in the movies, even back in Ultron she looked at least in her mid twenties

The face Vision makes when he makes himself human is so funny

Also Vision blowing Wanda a kiss and her reaching back to grab it is the perfect amount of corny that makes it still cute

Also I wonder what vision’s job is

The backing music is so funny

I can already tell Agnes is going to be some great comic relief in a show that’s already hilarious

“I assure you, I’m married. To a man. A HUMAN one!” I know I’ve said before that I was never the biggest fan of Wanda or Vision but I love Wanda in this show

Obv there is something clearly off here, but I feel like I need to mention that it’s clear this is some warped reality. If I had never seen any of the MCU before, I may believe it was just witch and her robot husband living in the fifties, but the little details really make it clear to the audience (the majority of whom I am sure are familiar with the mcu) that something is off. This scene is one of those, where Wanda cannot seem to recall how long her and Vision have been together and plays it off by saying “It feels like we always have been together”

Is Agnes giving Wanda advice for the bedroom? is this really what I’m watching? Or have I wildly misinterpreted this?

Love the old timey lingo

Vision working a desk job is so funny

Love that vision doesn’t even know what they do at his job, I know it’s part of the false reality thing but also lowkey relatable

“you’re like a walking computer” “I most certainly am not! I’m a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter”

I started this like twenty minutes ago and have only gotten 7 minutes in because I keep stopping to type my reactions. I am going to try to shut up and watch, and stop screaming about every little detail for a bit 😂

Real quick though does Vision just go by Vision at work?

Ope apparently he does.

I wonder if Vision took Wanda’s last name

Or is he Vision Stark-Banner since it was Tony and Bruce who made him??

He probably isn’t called that but I think it would be funny if he was

Love that instead of writing “dinner with boss” or “Dinner w/ Harts” or even just “Harts” he drew a freaking heart like im dying

if my lack of emojis seems weird I’m typing this on a computer which I never normally do and I’m to lazy to pull up the emoji keyboard, so basically imagine there’s a cry laughing emoji after everything funny

“No skeletons in the closet?’ “I don’t have a skeleton sir.”

Yup I was right, Agnes is giving her sexy time advice

“you should stumble when you walk in a room so he can catch you. It’s romantic!” that is the only way I will be flirting from now on

Also I got to say, I'm guessing it’s a fifties thing but those pointy bras don’t look comfortable

So she answers the phone “Vision Residence” Is Vision also their last name now? Does he go by Vision Vision??

They make the best facial expressions

This phone conversation where Wanda think they’re having a date night whereas Vision is talking about his boss coming for dinner is comedy GOLD

also I love the fact that they’re giving us stereotypical sitcom drama while keeping it clear that there are bigger problems than dinner with the boss

Fake commercial break is at 9.56 (these time stamps are for myself I want to calculate how much of the episode is actually the story)

I do love the fake commercials tho! And I suppose in a way they ARE part of the show

They missed the chance to make it the toastmate three thousand and make every ironman fan cry

The beeping toaster sounds like a ticking bomb..... also the little red light is the only color we’ve seen this episode I think

Commercial ends at 10.46

Also love that it was an SI toaster, still wish they had made it 3000 instead of 2000

How did Wanda confuse Mr. Hart with her husband? Not that I’m complaining, her coming out in a robe and covering Vis’ Boss’ eyes is HILARIOUS

“This is the traditional Sokovian greeting? Didn’t I tell you my wife is from Europe?” “How exotic!” “We don’t break bread with Bolsheviks”

Visions pants are SO high waisted

“It’s our anniversary!” “Our anniversary of WHAT?” “WELL IF YOU DON”T KNOW I”M NOT GONNA TELL YOU”

Poor Vision is trying to figure out what kind of company he works for this is sooo funny

Agnes coming in clutch with a full meal

So Wanda needs the ingredients in order to magic a meal she can’t just make one appear

Vision breaking into song was amazing

How did one chicken turn into like 30 eggs

Vision is singing old McDonald with his bosses wife this is great

“Diane!” “That must be my wife summoning me!” “She calls you Diane?” “Yes... it’s her pet name for me” “I’m coming... Fred”

So many clichés in this show but it’s done in such a purposeful way that it’s still funny

Also we have only seen three rooms: the kitchen, the living room and Vision’s workplace

“Well I think tonight’s going SWIMMINGLY”

Mrs. Hart is SO NOSY

But I love that they don’t know the answers

Wanda looks SO disturbed when Mr. Hart is demanding her and visions story, you can tell her mind is fighting itself and it’s so sad

Mr. Hart is choking, is it bad that I think he deserves it?

Mrs. Hart keeps cheerily repeating stop it, and gone is the stereotypical sitcom camera angles and and the backing music is switched for something eery

This is lowkey scary, Mr. Hart Dying while his wife keeps cheerily saying Stop It and it just feels creepier the more she repeats

Wanda looks distressed and vision is just looking to her for what to do, her old timey accent is gone and she sounds nearly robotic as she tells Vision to help

Poor Wanda, she is so clearly going through it mentally right now

Laugh track is back, and just like that the Harts are leaving, despite only having one bite of food

And somehow Mr. Hart is impressed? Was Wanda rewriting reality to make them so?

I know that this is clearly some alternate reality and nothing is right, but wanda and vision deciding to choose that day as there anniversary and this little convo here is soooooo cute

Aw her making them rings and them both saying I do is soooo cute

And vision saying “and they lived happily ever after’ is so sweet but also so sad in context

What is that little remote vision is holding meant to be?

And love the hexagon closing in on them with the cute music playing to end the episode

Are the people in these credits real? Because it lists the start as Wanda Maximoff and Vision but are the rest actual people?

So there is some sketchy dude watching the maybe fake credits so there's something going on there

The actual credits start with 7.13 left and I’ve been told there's no mid or post credits scene. I’ll let them play while I finish this up anyways

8 minutes and 49 seconds of this show is the logo, title sequence and credits. Out of 29.36 total this means only 20 minutes and 47 seconds is the show, which I suppose is standard for a sitcom but I think I felt deceived by it showing as 29 minutes

Also 50 seconds of “commercial takes the show time down to 19.57 if anyone was wondering

I swear tho I’m not all that bothered by the length, just did the math in case anyone was curious like I am.

I thought I was going to really enjoy this going it, but it still really surpassed my expectations and I can’t wait for episode 2!

This is my raw reactions, but I’m sure that as I mull it over more I’ll be posting more about the show

This is somehow a perfect combo of lighthearted comedy and mild horror

I wanna let this episode stew for a while, so I prob won’t watch episode 2 for at least a day

Also what are your guys’ thoughts on this format of reaction? Did I write to much?

Also what did y’all think of this episode? Feel free to let me know what you think of my reaction, and whether you agree or disagree. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

#anna reacts to wandavision #anna reacts #wandavision #mcu #marvel #avengers #scarlet witch #vision #wanda maximoff #disney plus #wandavision spoilers #wv spoilers #mcu spoilers #marvel spoilers

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kutemouse · 4 years ago

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And Then He Was Gray (Part Six, End)

Disclaimer: I edited the pic I used for my header, but the OG pic belongs to BTS & BigHit.

Author’s Note: Woooooooow, here we are, at the end! I think this is the first six-part one-shot I’ve finished on this tumblr. Uh-maze-ing. This was so much fun to write. I love that I came up with this purely out of my own head, the only inspiration being that damn beautiful gray shirt and Jin’s damn beautiful self. I’m really proud of this piece. I hope you, dear kutie reader, enjoyed it as well. Thank you for your support, and as always, I purple you <3

Age Recommendation: 21+ (Not just a recommendation, kuties!)

Warnings: Praise kink shining through, oral, mutual masturbation, a bit o’ angst, and (as always) f*cking swears.

Word Count: 1,583

Master List

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

And Then He Was Gray (Jin One-Shot, Smut, Fluff) Part Six (End)

My eyelids fluttered as my consciousness stirred, but I buried my face back into the pillow, not wanting to wake up. If I woke up, it would be morning, and I’d have to go home, and my amazing one-night stand would be over, becoming nothing but a bunch of memories I’d only be able to take out late at night when I was alone.

I reached a hand out, feeling beside me where Jin had lain, his strong arms wrapped around me as we finally drifted off to sleep for the last time. After the first time, despite a heavy makeout session and him promising to fuck me into oblivion again, we decided we were both too exhausted to go another round. Jin sweetly took care of me, grabbing a wet washcloth and wiping me down with it, tenderly kissing every inch of my body as he did so. “Did so well,” he muttered between kisses. “So good. My good girl.”

I sleepily preened at the praise, smiling and letting out content sighs as he cleaned me up. He got us both large glasses of water, watching to make sure I gulped mine all the way down before snuggling up against me in bed and wrapping me in his arms. The heat emanating from his skin alongside his heartbeat lulled me almost to sleep when Jin’s voice broke the silence. “Y/n.”

“Mmmm?”

“That was… mind-blowing.”

I hummed in agreement, my eyes still closed, snuggling deeper into his chest.

“I just wanted to ask before we fell asleep… if I get horny again, do I have your consent to wake you up by eating you out?”

My eyes shot open, heat flooding to my core at the thought. “God, yes,” I sighed.

I could feel Jin’s smile as he kissed my cheek. “Good. Because if I’m sleeping next to you, it’s almost a guarantee I’m gonna wanna fuck again.”

And fuck again we did. Jin only let me have a couple hours sleep before I woke up with his head between my thighs, slurping down my juices as his tongue penetrated my core and swirled around my clit. I came twice again, once from him eating me out, then again as we fucked once more, this time more slow and sensual as we were both still a bit drowsy.

After a couple more hours of sleep, I woke up to Jin fingering me, the pads of his ring and middle fingers drawing circles on my clit as his hot breath warmed my neck from behind. I reached over and wrapped my fingers around his lengthy shaft, pumping up and down until we mutually orgasmed once more.

I smiled, the memories from last night leaving warmth flowing through me, and finally opened my eyes. It had to be at least mid-day, if not later. The sun was lighting up the room, even through Jin’s dark curtains, and the day felt like it was already mostly over. Jin was nowhere to be seen. I glanced around, my gaze landing on a folded t-shirt with a glass of water next to it. I gulped it down, so thirsty after all of last night’s antics, then put on the t-shirt, which fell to my thighs.

I cautiously opened the bedroom door and padded down the hall into the kitchen, from where a delicious smell was wafting throughout the apartment. “Hey,” Jin said. His upper half was bare, and he wore gray sweatpants that fell loosely around his hips. I wet my lips at the sight of Balenciaga boxers peeking out above the waistline.

“Hi,” I replied, a bit breathless.

“Did you sleep well?”

I hummed in response. Something was sizzling in the pan he held, and he dragged a spoon through it before blowing the steam away and holding it out to me. “Taste this.”

I stepped close and obliged, the warm smell coming from the pan enticing my senses. I chewed and swallowed. “Wow, that is really good,” I said.

Jin shot me a smile. “Good. Sit down, I’ll make you a plate.”

He set the food-filled plate in front of me, along with a pair of chopsticks. “Thanks,” I murmured.

“Oh, here’s your phone. I charged it for you, and your clothes will be out of the dryer in a few minutes.”

I blinked. He washed my clothes? Jin seemed to be almost too considerate… Almost like he’d practiced this routine a million other times, with a million other girls. That depressing thought led me to turn on my phone, eager to distract myself from my perpetual loneliness.

Soyeon had called me three times, and texted me twice as many times.

I quickly tapped out a message back to her.

I lay my phone face down on the table. It buzzed a few times, no doubt Soyeon freaking out about the fact I was at Jin’s place, but I ignored it. “Everything okay?” Jin asked.

“Yeah, fine. Just Soyeon checking in on me.”

Jin was wiping his hands on a dish towel, staring intently down at me. The sight of his bare honey-toned torso and taut muscles was almost too much to look at. I couldn’t believe how handsome he was, and even more unbelievable was the fact we’d had such an incredible night together… But with every high comes just as deep of a low. How is it that I’d gotten laid but I felt more single today then I did last night?

I quickly finished eating and went to grab my clothes, changing as fast as I could and grabbing my purse. “Erm,” I said, causing Jin to look up from cleaning up the kitchen. “I’m going to call a cab. Thanks for… Well, thanks for everything.”

Jin’s brow furrowed. “Wait a sec, I can give you a ride.”

I smiled weakly. “There’s no need. I can get home on my own. I’ll just wait on the curb.”

He crossed the room, confusion in his eyes. “Hold on now, no need to rush. I wanted to spend more time with you.”

Now it was my turn to be confused. “You wanted… what?”

Jin stepped close, caressing my cheek with a long finger. “Why are you always running away from me?”

“I’m not,” I retorted, stepping out of his reach. “I’m just trying to give you an out so you don’t have to feel bad.”

“Why would I need an out?”

I glanced awkwardly to the side. “Because… Well, because… This is just a one-night stand, isn’t it? I mean, that’s what you do with girls?”

Jin scoffed. “Seriously? You’re still on about that?”

“Well, yeah. Look, Soyeon told me━”

“I don’t care what Soyeon told you. Yeah, there have been other girls. You’re telling me there haven’t been other guys?”

I stayed silent. Clearly, after last night, I was no virgin, but I wasn’t a player either. “I just wanted to be clear with our expectations,” I muttered, turning away.

I had my hand on the door handle when Jin placed his large one over it. “Tell me, right now,” he said earnestly. “Be honest. Do you want this to only be a one-night stand? Or would you like it if something more came out of it?”

My mouth parted in surprise as I looked back at him. “Be honest,” Jin repeated, his gaze eager. “Because I’ll be honest with you. I have been with other girls, yes, a lot of other girls by some standards. I’ve always been straight with them, telling them they were just a means to satisfy me for the night, but none of them could even do that much. None of them were what I needed.”

I slowly turned back around as he spoke, letting him get closer and closer with each word. Jin placed his hands on either side of me, effectively pinning me with my back to the door. “I need you,” he said, passion dripping from his voice. “I need everything about you. I told you, from the second I laid eyes on you, I knew you were going to be perfect for me.”

I pressed my lips together. “Yeah, but sexual compatibility does not make a relationship,” I said. “No matter how amazing.”

Jin blew out a frustrated exhale, shaking his head. “You still don’t get it. I want to date you, Y/n. Will you go out with me?”

I blinked. Was he… serious? I mean, we did have some things in common. We both liked to cook, we had similar friends… and we were fantastic in bed together. Maybe this could work. Maybe I could have someone of my own, finally, someone to go to parties with, someone to share all my secrets with, someone to love.

“Y-Yeah,” I finally stuttered out. “I’ll go out with you.”

Jin let out the breath he’d been holding, sliding his palm up towards my jaw, angling it upward. He captured my lips with his in the sweetest kiss, drawing me up on my tiptoes, causing me to wrap my arms around his neck. He drew back, and I kept my eyes closed for a moment longer, wishing for more.

“Come on,” Jin said, his gaze darkening as he tugged me by the hand back towards the bedroom. “I’ve got the whole day off, and I know exactly what… or should I say, who… I want to do.”

Smiling, I let him lead me into the kind of bliss that, until that moment, I’d only dreamed I’d be able to have.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The Fucking End <3

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captainchrisfics · 6 years ago

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Gaps Between Us

About: Chris Evans and a first person pov narrator have an age gap, sparking a controversy in the public eye, some tension among the MCU cast, and quite a bit of trouble in paradise. Thankfully, RDJ is always there to save the day.

Word Count: 3, 418

Requested By: Anonymous

A/N: Please feel free to submit reqs! My inbox ran dry and I’m always up for some inspiration :)

“Evans, quit hogging the bread!” Jeremy Renner called from the other end of the table. It was quite a stretch to accommodate so many people, almost the MCU’s entire cast was present. Nobody could turn down a dinner invitation from Robert Downey Jr. including Chris and I. We sat together, close to the rest of the original Avengers, even though I was a newer addition to the franchise. Being included at a table of thirty or so of the biggest names in my field was immensely inspiring, the kind of awe-struck moment that made me feel like I was a part of something so much bigger than myself. Robert’s after filming dinners were often like that.

Chris laughed as he picked up a roll, chucking it to his friend like a football. “If you hit the chandelier, I would’ve hit you harder,” RDJ chastised, shooting my boyfriend a playful side eye. Chris laughed harder as he waved a dismissive hand at Downey, insisting he didn’t need diamonds hanging from his temporary home’s ceiling anyway.

He slung an arm around my shoulders, stretching his fingers to grasp the side of my chair. “You aren’t gonna defend my honor, babe?” Chris asked me with faux disappointment and a cocked eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes and reached for my glass, taking a slow sip before responding, “No, you deserved that one.” I didn’t take my eyes off Chris as his face contorted with an incredulous expression and I reached behind his back to high-five RDJ whose hand was already waiting for mine.

“Wise move,” Robert quipped. Chris shook his head before returning to his plate, letting the Iron Man actor win this fight. “I learn from the best,” I countered, shooting RDJ a wink from across Chris’s lap. Over the course of this last film, the older actor and I had developed one of the closest relationships I’d ever had with a co-worker, second maybe only to my boyfriend. RDJ managed to take me under his wing and somehow I’d found a way to keep tagging along. We understood each other in a unique way, almost like we operated on the same wavelength, which was invaluable around someone as charismatic and unpredictable as Chris Evans, as much as I love him.

“You’re gonna regret that later,” Chris promised under his breath, a gruff tone only I heard. I kicked him under the table, insisting that it was all in good fun. “So,” Brie Larson said as she joined the group, dropped her plate from the make-shift buffet on the table next to mine and pulled out the chair beside me. “I’m sorry to talk shop, but I’ve got to tell you, I loved your work during the funeral scene today,” she professed, squeezing my hand with sincerity. Scarlett, who sat opposite of me, nodded in agreement as she added between bites, “Not to date myself, but I don’t think there’s a lot of actors your age who could pull off subtle, intense emotion like that.”

I blushed, staring down at my plate to avoid all of the eyes I felt on me. “Oh, thank you... I appreciate that, but I was just doing my job,” I shrugged. I was the youngest at the table by far, which could definitely be intimidating at times. Knowing my colleagues turned friends respected me and what I did just as much as I admired their work meant more than I could properly thank them for. “You all set a standard I only hope to match,” I added, squeezing Brie’s hand back.

“No, no, don’t bullshit these hacks,” Robert interjected. “I mean, sure, she was convincingly grieving my loss of life. But I expected more from the rest of you. Where were the theatrics? The professions of love now lost? The waterworks?” He shot pointed looks around the table at everyone who was present for Tony Stark’s funeral. Everyone laughed as Gwenyth Paltrow raised her hands in defense as she jokingly protested, “I had a little girl to be strong for.” “Really though, you did so great today,” Chris brought the conversation back to me as he paused devouring his meal to place a kiss on my temple. Down the table, someone groaned in objection to the PDA, which sent a heavy stone to the pit of my stomach. I felt Chris grow tense as well, always more self-conscious of our relationship than I was.

Our age difference made everything that much more difficult. It gave the media access to more insults to throw in their click-bait titles, contributed to the intense scrutiny the public eye had to offer in our line of work, and was always in the back of our minds. Not because we felt like there was anything wrong with it, but because other people did. If you asked any gossip site reader, Chris was in the midst of a mid-life crisis and I was a gold digger looking to capitalize on his vulnerability. Never mind that we were both perfectly of-age adults or that the same people used to praise our friendship all over the internet before they found out it was a little bit more.

“Relax Mackie,” Sebastian Stan teased from that end of the group, around where the groan came from. Seb had a teasing tone, shoving our friend’s shoulder jovially. Especially with them being some of the closest people to Chris on set, I’d gotten to know Anthony and Seb pretty well. Enough to know that they were only kidding, but that they sometimes didn’t know when to stop. I knew Chris inside and out though so when his ears perked up and his head followed the noise, previously furrowed brow raising as if to dare them to continue, I could tell you there would be trouble. “Her age isn’t on the clock anyway. That’s the thing, right?” Stan teased.

Chris smiled wryly with downcast eyes, watching as he spun his glass. Mackie laughed harder, the force of which threw him back in his chair as he prodded Sebastian’s chest in praise. “Just barely,” he shot back between breaths. The two chuckled one last time before the joke died down and they joined the rest of the cast in other topics of conversation. Chris didn’t seem to realize though, with the way he sat so tensely still like he’d draw more negative attention if he moved a single muscle.

I didn’t know the kind of pressure a few years could add until it burdened my chest every time a reporter brought it up on the red carpet, tugged down my soaring heart whenever we held hands in public and I caught people staring, weighed heavy on my mind when I noticed Chris grow as uncomfortable as he was now. All because of a little peck and a murmur that probably lost its original meaning among the translation of our anxieties.

Around us, the conversation amongst the original Avengers shifted to what everyone’s next projects would be now that Endgame’s filming was coming to a close. Chris, usually the most boisterous of the bunch, sat quietly as he shoved broccoli about his plate. His arm that had been wrapped around me sagged back to his side. His leg bounced rapidly like a revving engine, ready to run. I reached to squeeze his hand as a sign of comfort, that I was here and happy to be, knowing that the thought his nerves spiraling rapidly out of control in his head was never a good thing. As soon as my fingers brushed his, Chris pulled away so harshly he shot up from his seat, jostling the table unintentionally and grabbing everyone’s attention.

“I’m uh…” he scratched the back of his neck, skittish eyes bouncing between everyone staring at him. “Gonna go grab a beer. Anyone want anything?” Chris recovered, smooth enough not to raise suspicion if you weren’t within range of the anxious energy radiating from him. Soon, he stepped away from the table with everyone’s requests and escaped to the kitchen, leaving an empty chair in his wake. My eyes dropped to meet Robert’s across the space Chris had been occupying, just as wide with worry as I imagined mine were with eyebrows nearly through the roof.

“I’ll make sure Chris doesn’t fuck up that tall order,” RDJ said with an effortless nonchalance I envied, clasping his hands together as he stood. He turned to me with peaked eyebrows as he added, “Why don’t you join us, kid? Takes a few actors to screw in a lightbulb.” I accepted Robert’s outstretched hand and trailed behind him, following Chris’s footsteps until we found him bent over the kitchen island, fingers gripping the quartz so hard his knuckles were white. “Why does it have to be such a big fucking deal, huh?” he spit cynically. Chris’s face scrunched up with furrowed brows and a tight lip as his eyes, firey with misplaced rage, burned holes through Downey. “Seriously, please enlighten me. Why does everyone else who isn’t a part of this relationship give such a massive shit about it?” His voice stayed quiet as to not raise the others’ suspicion, but by the strained veins in his neck and steely look in his eye held his anger instead.

“In and out, buddy,” Robert said as he clasped a hand on Chris’s shoulder. “You know those bozos didn’t mean anything by it.” Chris snapped that it wasn’t about that, that this was much bigger than them, and I knew he was right. “That’s the problem,” he growled. “Nobody means anything by it, they’re just trying to get clicks on their articles or attention on Twitter or laughs at our expense without stopping to think the kind of shitty strain it puts us through.” Chris slammed the beer he’d grabbed on the countertop hard enough that, if it’d been opened, it would’ve created another mess for us to clean up. He was turning red and I could almost hear the tea kettle coming to a boil in his stomach, the steam ready to burst from his ears. I don’t think I’d ever seen Chris so mad.

I stayed glued to the entryway, holding my own hand behind my back as I rolled from my heels to my toes. I watched Chris nervously, not exactly sure what to do or how to help. Really I was the cause of the problem. How could I possibly offer a solution? And then, as much as I hated myself for even thinking it, the only way to fix this occurred to me.

“We could split up, you know,” I proposed so quietly I hoped that between Chris’s angry ragged breath and Robert’s attempts at rationalizing with him they wouldn’t hear me. But they did. Their eyes snapped to me as Chris’s face fell, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth hung open, all softened by sadness. RDJ threw up his hands, shooting me a look with wide eyes and tight lips as if to say he already had enough to deal with sans me joining Chris on the ledge he was trying to talk him down from.

“Don’t say stupid things like that,” Chris scolded with a shake of his head. His shoulders sagged from their previous position taught with anger as he slipped into a state of confused heartache. He could deny it all he wanted to, but that was the only way I saw out.

“Well, I certainly don’t want to but...” I bit my lip, searching for the courage to continue with Chris giving me pleading puppy dog eyes worse than Dodger’s. “But this is just too much. All of it, all of the articles and speculation and hurtful things being thrown our way because of our relationship, it’s overwhelming.” Even when he was puffed up with rage before, I felt smaller now. Measly compared to the giant bumbling toward me as he shoved past Downey, wrapping huge arms around me like a shield, though I wasn’t sure who he was trying to protect at this point.

“You’ve got enough on your mind with your career, any relationship is a lot. Let alone one with our age gap. I know how much you hate the things people say. I just... I think we need to quit while we’re ahead and end on good terms before you start hating me, too. And if it’s what’ll make you happy then-” I spoke into his chest though I was sure he could hear me loud and clear, words suddenly snowballing out of me, gaining strength as the momentum grew with every tumbling syllable. I had to spit them out before I couldn’t. Before I changed my mind and picked what was selfish instead of best for Chris’s sake. And then he cut me off.

“Darling, I told you to stop talking nonsense. You make me happier than anything,” Chris was quiet with calm now, his angry energy redirected to dragging me back to earth when I felt so far away from him. “I could never ever even imagine a world where I felt anything less than love for you,” he paused to press a long kiss onto the top of my head before speaking again. “Let alone because of some stupid rumors and the opinions of people who don’t matter to me a fraction as much as you do.”

I melted into Chris, relishing in the way he radiated the excitement of an entire football stadium just when their home team scored the winning touchdown. How he smelled of deodorant I didn’t think anyone else wore and the liberating, fresh air of the mountains when you’re the only one there and something I still couldn’t identify anywhere else that wasn’t in his embrace. It was just Chris. And the way his beard scratched my skin as he nuzzled into the crook of my neck, the fact that I didn’t mind was so uniquely Chris as well. In fact, I’d miss it. He pressed gentle kisses into my collarbone as he rested his forehead on my shoulder, little wishes that I’d take back what I’d said. I was ready to push him away and tell him that this had to be it when it occurred to me just how much I’d miss him, but I couldn’t keep putting Chris through all of this stress just for me.

“I mean it,” I asserted though it was half-hearted, tears buried finally rising to the surface. I knew I had an ocean of them waiting inside of me, tossing and turning with my tumultuous emotions, but I had to stop the tide from rising. At least until Chris wasn’t around anymore. “We need to break-“

“No,” Robert finally cut in, dropping a gentle hand on one of each of our shoulders. “No, you don’t. Don’t say the b-word,” he repeated like he was trying to ease us out of a trance. Pity laced the soft circles he rubbed our backs. I turned to look at him, keeping an ear to Chris’s chest to prolong the comfort I found in the steady thump of his heartbeat. “The second you allow the public eye’s gaze to start changing your relationship is the second you lose yourself to this job. I can’t stand by and allow you two to lose each other too,” Downey continued, though his soft eyes stayed on me.

Then he turned to Chris with a harder look of determination, really trying to drive his point home. “Anyone who knows you at all, Evans, knows that you’ve been looking for something like this for a long time.” I felt Chris’s grip tighten around my waist, not nearly ready to let me go any time soon. I knew Robert was right. Even though I hadn’t known Chris for all that long, we got along better than I did with anyone else before. It was like we’d known each other forever even when it’d only been a few weeks and I figured, with Chris’s age and his eagerness to settle down, he’d been waiting even longer than that. “Don’t let it slip away because of other people’s opinions.” Chris nodded against my shoulder, still holding me close as if I’d run off, which I guess I tried to. “If you can’t follow your heart and tell anyone else who has something to say about it to fuck right off thank you very much, then I don’t know who could,” Robert finished with a confident smile. I thought it was funny, like he was trying to make it rub off on my boyfriend.

Chris nodded, hesitantly at first and then faster with more assuredness as what his friend said sunk in. “Now, get it together and realize that you’ve got a solid foundation with each other. I’ll be damned if you let it crumble over Mackie and Sebastian being dumbasses.” Robert smirked at us, his usual sly spark returning to his eye. “Start thinking with these a little more,” he paused to poke Chris’s chest just above his heart. “And using these a little less,” Robert said as he tapped my temple.

Chris stretched an arm around Downey, pulling both of us right to his side. “Thanks,” he breathed out, almost like a sigh of relief. “Don’t know what we’d do without you,” I told Robert, patting his shoulder with gratitude. “Yeah, yeah,” he brushed us off, pulling away from Chris’s embrace as well. “Tell me how much you love me later.” He took a few steps toward the fridge and started pulling out cans of almost everything under the sun, somehow miraculously remembering what everyone ordered when Chris wasn’t even paying attention despite being the one who asked. “We better get all these drinks out there before there’s a riot,” he said, grabbing as many as he could and sliding the rest to Chris and I. “Or worse,” Robert paused dramatically, shoving the fridge closed with his hip. “More jokes.” With that, he turned and left Chris and I standing alone in the kitchen.

Chris rolled his eyes as he turned to me, reaching for my hand. He played with my fingers for a second, watching our hands as they pressed against each other one digit at a time, before locking them together. “You know I love you a whole lot more than how mad I am at everyone else,” he said with more sincerity than I thought he could muster. It seemed to be all the honesty the world had to offer. I grinned a smile that stretched so far it made my cheeks hurt even more than the blush burned as I nodded and said with just as much integrity, “And I love you even more than that.”

Chris reached to wipe the remainder of my tears with his thumb as he shook his head and drew in a tight breath, feigning contention. “I don’t know about that. It’s like, so much for someone who was about to end things a minute ago,” he joked. Chris gathered so many drinks in his arms there weren’t any left for me to carry.

I stretched to flick his ear anyway, all but stomping my foot in protest. “I love you a hell of a lot, Evans. So much I was about to end things for your own good,” I argued with a pointed look even though it was pointless. He already knew my heart hadn’t been in it, the problem was that I’d been listening to my head just like Downey said.

He jostled the cans so they all sat in one arm before slipping his free hand into the back pocket of my jeans. “Let’s go show the world just how much then,” Chris laughed as he bent down to press a kiss into my temple, happy to still be by each other’s sides as we joined the rest of the Marvel cast.

Tags: @patzammit , @thegetawaywriter , @coffeebooksandfandom , @captainsteveevans , @intrepidandabitcrazy , @super100012

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dahvangogh · 5 years ago

Text

and empty words are evil | Jason Todd

[masterlist]

[ prologue | one | two ]

CHAPTER ONE

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.”

– Anais Nin

“How to be single and satisfied at the same time?” Daniel reads the headline out loud, his eyes skimming through the cover of It Girl with curiosity.

Grace hums out loud, thinking the question over while chewing her bottom lip.

“Masturbating, for sure,” Lisa says without missing a beat, Grace only seeing the top of her blonde head because of how burrowed on the laminated menu she was.

The raven-haired laughs loudly –she can’t help it–, but poor Daniel, red tinting his face, starts looking around in case anyone at the dinner has heard them and was giving them any dirty looks.

“Relax, Dan. No one cares.” Grace pats him on the shoulder.

Lisa seems to have forgotten her menu and is now staring fully at Dan, a wicked smile appears on her purple-painted lips, completely ready to bug him.

“Don’t… Leave him alone, Lisa.” Grace quickly chastises her, even kicking her under the table for emphasis, for Lisa can be the most annoying person ever when she wants to. “And Dan, no one is paying any attention to us. Relax.”

Dan is still looking around, his face finally back to its natural color.

“It seems… everyone is paying attention to the tv?”

Pauli’s Diner is crowded, every booth full and a long queue that reaches from the counter to the door. The usual. Yet everyone’s attention, even the four waitresses, seems to be on the tv. Grace also focuses on the big tv, which is placed high at the back of the diner wall, three booths away from theirs. It is on and showcasing a newswoman reporting about something, but without the sound and no headlines or subtitles below to indicate what she was talking about, Grace is left with more questions than answers.

“I think something happened.” Dan sounds between scared and resigned.

The three of them look at each other, then almost comically pull out their phones at the same time. Something always happens in Gotham –the city that never rested–, and it was a common occurrence to check the Gotham Gazette App every day. After all, any good Gothamite knows that to be well informed is the key to survival in such an insane and restless city.

“Fuck. I swear if that madman of Zsasz has escaped again, I will hunt him down and drag his ass to the Asylum myself,” Lisa grunts; her pale brows furrowed tightly. “Fucking load already, stupid App!”

Grace focuses on her screen, the app taking more time than usual to load.

“Mine too…” Dan’s answers in his usual hushed voice. Then, he starts chewing on his lip, worry all over his face.

A big headline pops on Grace’s screen –the App finally deciding on working–, and she sighs happily after reading it.

“Seems an aircraft has fallen to the Sprang River; 20 people are currently missing and the rescue team is doing everything in their power to get to them.” She literally reads out loud the last words, happy that no madman is out and about on the city. “Nothing about Zsasz, sorry Lisa.”

Her two friends exhale the air they had been holding.

“Seems your impromptu date with Zsasz will have to wait.” Grace kicks her friend’s leg again, but this time just to annoy her.

Lisa shows her the middle finger.

“No, but for real. After last time, I don’t think he is going anywhere.” The raven-haired reminds them. “He killed 5 people until Batman and young Robin stopped him.”

Grace sees Dan gulp.

“Yeah, after escaping. Again.” Lisa sounds mad, which is understandable after living in Gotham for five years, and seeing all the hurt Zsasz has caused many Gothamites. “And one of them was my neighbor!”

Dan sighs, remembering her. “Oh, that poor woman…”

“She was a mean bitch, though,” Lisa adds as if it is vital information.

Grace can’t help but to huff.

“Lisa!”

Suddenly, one of the waitresses appears at their booth. With a sheepish smile painted on her serene face, –probably because of how much they had had to wait– she asks them what they would like to order.

Lisa happily asks for a sandwich and a banana smoothie, –as if the last conversation has never happened– but quickly rectifies and changes for a big portion of the chocolate cake instead of the sandwich. The waitress, Marge by what the badge on her blouse, agrees with the blonde and sings praises about how good it is. Then, her attention goes to Dan, asking him sweetly what he would like to order.

The boy, who has never liked being the center of attention, turns bright red again. Shyly, he orders a cappuccino and one of their famous big chocolate cookies, all the while his eyes are zooming on the table instead of her.

When she turns to her, Grace feels as if she has been punched on the stomach.

The waitress aura, white and bright as any other, is twinkling and shaking from pure anxiety.

“What about you, sweetheart?” The old lady asks kindly, her face completely composed despite what her aura said of her.

The contrast between her aura and her facial expression is starting to freak Grace out. Nevertheless, she tries to focus on the present, on what she is feeling, on where she is and, more importantly, on what she wants to fucking eat. Which is really obvious if you know her, by the pointed looks of Lisa and Dan.

“I want a yogurt and banana smoothie, please.”

Marge hums.

“Be right back, then.”

Then, Lisa quickly starts rambling about what they should do on the weekend, something about the opening of a new club in town, but the raven-haired girl can’t pay enough attention to the get on the conversation. Marge’s soul is making it hard for her to concentrate; she even starts rubbing her hands together instinctively as if to distract herself.

She says fuck it and turns around.

The old waitress looks as composed as before, preparing their orders with the help of another girl while looking at the tv. But if Grace focuses hard enough, she can clearly depict Marge’s aura still shaking and twinkling, perhaps even more so than before. Despite training hard to control it, Grace still sometimes is unintentionally receptive to other people’s feelings –almost like an antenna would, she can perceive them and even go as far as toying with them.

This woman is anxious and worried, and Grace doesn’t even know how she isn’t shaking physically.

And Grace, being the sympathetic girl that she is, can’t help but take pity on the poor woman and break her own rules.

She extends her hand, scanning before that no one is paying her any attention, and then lowers it slowly.

Marge’s aura calms at the same time that her hand motion stops, and it no longer twinkles.

Though the lights in the room go crazy for a few seconds.

Grace has to thank whatever God exists, or even the Cosmos, that small tasks such as this one don’t make her hands or her whole self glow with the usual green-bluish energy.

She still remembers the hilarious comment that once a crewmember of the Serbian Mafia made when he saw her appear out of nowhere, floating in the sky, just minutes before she brought hell upon them. Her, attired in her tight black suit and black domino mask, surrounded by bright green-bluish energy floating in the black sky while defying gravity.

And instead of running away, hide or even shot at her, he placed his hands on his hips and said out loud impressed:

“What the fuck? She looks like Goku Super Saiyajin!”

Grace can’t hold now the giggle that escapes her lips.

“What the hell?” Lisa’s voice brings her back to the present, and to the diner.

The raven-haired girl turns around and looks at her friends, smiling as if nothing had just happened, while blinking innocently.

“Sorry, you were saying?”

[ – – – ]

The pencil runs all over her sketchpad, quietly humming along to Stevie Wonder’s Superstition while drawing the sun setting between the skyscrapers. It looks spectacular from her high-ceiling windows. Grace’s weird obsession –despite her psychologist telling time and time again to her that it isn’t exactly a bad thing– of drawing beautiful things, or anything she believes is beautiful to her own standards, has made her sit down and try to make it justice.

Despite having to get ready for a night out with Lisa.

“Just fifteen minutes more and you will get ready.” She sets an alarm, just as Dr. Carson had advised her to do, and keeps drawing happily.

The oranges, in light and deep tones, together with the goldens of the sun setting almost make her forget about any advice, psychologist and nightclub.

And so she keeps going, her sketch pencil running through the page.

She has always felt privileged for owning an apartment in Gotham Village, where only the rich dwelled and played, with amazing views and almost non-existent criminality –which is surprising to say the least in this damned city–. It is the place where she could find herself being happy or at least, try to be normal.

But she misses going out and doing her thing as she did back in Europe.

Grace sighs, chewing on her already-chewed sketch pencil and stops drawing, hugging her legs to her chest.

When she had moved to Gotham almost a year ago, she had wanted to set aside her “dangerous hobby” and live a normal life. Like Lisa or Dan did.

After what had happened to her six years ago, she had used her family’s connections and pulled some strings so she could go and study in a European country. Away from Central Park and New York. There in Berlin, Grace had trained with an Israeli private trainer, Isaac, in Krav Maga until achieving a black belt and her expert five patch. Initially, she had started with just wanting to know the basics, a bit for self-defense and that’s it. Until one day, on a Friday night while she was watching The News, she saw another rapist just get five to ten years in jail and a pat on his shoulder. It had made her so furious that all the windows on her apartment exploded. Moreover, it was in that exact moment, while floating in the middle of her room with her whole being surrounded by the weird bright green-bluish energy and feeling full of rage, that she knew she could try and make a difference, for those who had power were clearly not doing anything.

The next day, after paying the window installer for she had no windows after last night’s debacle, she had asked Isaac about what he would wear, hypothetically of course, if he went to a fucking battle. At first, her trainer had answered that his military uniform but then he had rambled on and on about how a suit of Kevlar thread paired with a good armor would be the best choice if he could afford it.

So Grace, after debating all day whether to do it or not, had called her father that same night and had asked him to find someone who could build it for her.

Matthew Henderson had asked many questions, but she had just told him that in due time she would tell him. Just not now.

He had refused and straight-up hang up.

Later that same night, wide awake and after seriously considering to just wing it and buy a superhero costume from a cosplay online shop, her father had miraculously called again and accepted.

She really was his spoiled little girl.

Grace had flown to New York, the city that she now loathed with a passion, and had her measures taken. The guy who created it made the suit so it fit her like a glove – the downside to that? she had to be careful with what she ate.– It was tight, full-body and with high heeled boots to make her seem taller –after all, she couldn’t go around looking like a gremlin while also fitting crime. A pair of matching black gloves and a domino mask were also made.

After that, before putting the suit, she had not only trained to be the best at Krav Maga but also had learned a few other things –fighting with knives and how to use a gun properly, yet she still preferred to this day using her powers and Krav Maga–. A year and a half later, she had made her debut on Berlin’s streets.

In those years, she had killed many rapists, abusers and pedophiles. Delivered a few petty thieves and robbers to the nearest police station like Santa Claus would do on Christmas Eve, even going as far as tying them up and sticking a note on their foreheads explaining what they had done wrong. She really had been a good samaritan. A few encounters here and there with the Serbian Mafia and the Triad too.

Moreover, she might have done some petty thievery here and there, just to add a bit of spice to her life, but mainly she had been a good girl.

And fuck, she misses doing those things.

It was fun.

A bit dangerous, yes, but fun.

When you have powers beyond your imagination and are able to do some good, why would you step back and live a normal boring life?, she tries to reason with herself every night.

Yet back then in one of her many Skype sessions with Lisa, her childhood best friend, she had realized how empty and alone she had been feeling.

She had superpowers, at 23 she had her damn degree and had been studying to further her education even more, had also a lovely apartment, and yet she felt more lonely than ever.

And loneliness is a dangerous thing.

So, when she had told her good old friend, while omitting a certain hobby she had, of how she was feeling, the blonde had just replied with:

“Come to Gotham! We could live together and the city is fun. Trust me, you will never get bored here.”

Grace chuckles when remembering that. In the next twenty-four hours, she had packed her things, had said goodbye to her colleagues from University, and then hopped on a plane.

She has to give it to Lisa, Gotham city is everything but boring.

Gotham honors its name with its gloomy atmosphere, high buildings and horrible weather. The city is probably Tim Burton’s wet dream. You can find gargoyles in many of the buildings façades, many nights the city is covered in a thick fog, it has an Asylum for the worst of the worst with a high rate of escapees, an absurdly high rate in criminality and many bat-related vigilantes coming out at night to play.

Oh, and the many deranged individuals that play around Gotham like it is a child's’ dream playground.

Lisa had filled her in during those six years on her weekly Skype sessions about those individuals and so she knew most of them before she had placed a foot on the city. Gotham City has the Joker, currently-for-who-knows-how-long-because-he-always-escapes locked in Arkham Asylum, a psychopathic clown who had a weird obsession and ongoing feud with Batman; Two-Face, a half-burned crime lord obsessed with duality and the number two; the Penguin, another crime lord who looked like his namesakes and wore a monocle and umbrella; Poison Ivy, a stunning woman (Lisa said so, her gayness clearly showing here) who was an eco-terrorist and could control nature; and the list could go on and on for ages to no end.

So, her current life in Gotham is never dull or boring. She is working on a renowned and bohemian art gallery in the city, has an amazing apartment –she had tried living with Lisa but they had almost ended fistfighting with each other over a jar of marmalade–, can meet her best friends every day if she wanted, and is continuing her studies at the local University.

But she would be lying if she said she doesn’t miss going out and doing her thing.

Even drawing and painting, the thing that had always distracted her from suiting up and going out, was starting to not divert her attention as it normally would.

Her alarm starts going off.

“I really don’t want to go out.” she sighs loudly, as if someone would pat her on the shoulder and tell her not to go. “I hate partying and crowded places.”

Grace chews her already-very-chewed sketch pencil while walking all the way to her wardrobe.

She has to get ready or Lisa will probably scream her ear off for making her wait.

Though she is always late.

[ – – – ]

Grace, setting aside her ex-extracurricular activities, has always hated going out and now she remembers clearly why she does.

The night would always begin as good as it could possibly be. Lisa and her looking bomb would march to a nightclub, then the club would be buzzing with activity and music, they would have a few drinks and perhaps even dance a bit if the music was any good.

Then Lisa would start flirting with any of the cute waitresses and end up, don’t ask her how, with their tongue almost reaching her throat.

Lisa visibly looked like a terrible kisser, she always reminded Grace of a lifeguard doing mouth-to-mouth, and so she never understood why would the women always end up going God-knows-where to probably fuck.

And so then she would end up all alone, surrounded by sweaty bodies while going deaf by the loud music, and nursing a drink.

Tonight is no different from the usual, but she is tired. Her head hurts from overthinking too much all day long and the high heels are killing her.

Grace decides it is time to call it a day and head back home.

She quickly sends a message to Lisa, who is probably very busy with the cute blonde-haired waitress, and stands up from her barstool.

Hey girl, hope you are having fun with the redhead girl wherever you are.

As you left me alone, as usual (don’t fret, i’m used to it lmao) I have decided to stop being a pathetic human being and go home.

Call me tomorrow, but don’t even think of giving me any details. I don’t care about your sexual life.

Bye, bitch. xx

PD: text me when you GO home and when you GET home, it isn’t safe out there.

The raven-haired sighs.

She has to hit the bathroom before calling her uber though.

Too many drinks.

[ – – – ]

♡ Here, in this fancy shithole, Lucy Ross lost her virginity ♡

Grace sniggers, the situation completely reminding her of some of the type of things she had seen written back then on her high school’s cubicles’ walls.

She sighs happily while finally peeing.

Suddenly, the screams of a high pitched voice and the sound of glass shattering continually almost makes her fall off the toilet.

“Fuck! Fuck!”

She grabs some toilet paper and when she is finished cleaning herself, she pulls her panties up as quickly as possible. Grace holds her breath. It is one person, a female by the sound of the colorful series of profanities she is screaming, and Grace doesn’t need to check her aura to know how angry she is.

Though just in case, she takes a peek.

She focuses on her own aura, then changes her focus towards the other one in the bathroom, even going as far as closing her eyes to discern it much better –without stepping out and risking getting hurt.

It is shining as bright as the sun, but trembling and roaring with despair and sadness. The fact that the poor female isn’t angry surprises her.

Grace takes a deep breath, preparing herself for whatever she is going to face after stepping out of the enclosed and safe space where she is.

When she opens the door, almost scared of what she might see after reading the aura, the sight of a blonde woman headbutting the bathroom’s big mirror isn’t at all what she had expected.

The girl doesn’t even pay her any attention, clearly busy trying to crack her skull open, and so she keeps doing it, even adding some punches to the mix.

Grace can’t let her hurt herself this way.

“Hey, hey, hey!” She has to stop her before she kills herself, or gives herself a concussion if she is lucky enough. “Stop! Stop!”

Grace grabs the blonde by the waist, as if trying to separate her from the mirror, and pulls her against herself.

Next thing she knows, the blonde answers her with a chokehold and then sends her flying over her shoulder without breaking a sweat.

Her body collapses against the same toilet she had been peeing seconds ago, tearing the door from its fringes in the process. However, because her pain tolerance is higher than normal, Grace just grunts and answers right back.

The raven-haired extends her hand, a bright green-bluish glowing around it, and makes a motion towards the sinks. Now the blonde girl is the one being sent flying but this time towards the mirror she had been shattering just before and the sinks.

Grace stands up, her back killing her even more than usual, and approaches the blonde sitting with her back against the shattered mirror.

Weirdly enough, the girl instead of being knocked out is looking at her as if she is Jesus Incarnated. There is wonder all over her face.

“You are so paying for the damages.” the raven-haired quickly points out but then stops herself.

She can’t help but examine her for serious injuries. After all, she had been head-butting the mirror three seconds ago and then sent flying to it –on self-defense though–. But despite all the blood that is running down her forehead, she seems more than fine. Happy even, just gazing at her.

“What the hell?” she can’t help but voice her thoughts out loud.

The raven-haired almost falls backwards when the girl —who is clearly not right in the head— jumps to hug her tightly, mumbling “yes” nonstop while jumping up and down like an excited child.

The blonde girl pulls back, black eyeshadow and glitter smeared around her big blue eyes, and her black-painted lips start smiling almost manically.

“You! You!”

Grace blinks several times, completely lost for words. Then she sighs, trying to get back to the present time.

“Are you out of your mind?” she asks her, completely serious.

“No, I’m Harley Quinn and you...” the blonde points at her, smiling cheekily. “You are my new best friend.”

The raven-haired girl can still hear Lisa, in one of their many Skype sessions, telling her snippets of information here and there about Harley Quinn.

“She is definitely insane. For a long time, she was the partner in crime of Joker and dated that nutter. Girl… the things she has done are something else. Anyways, then she left him and joined a girl band… No, kidding. But Catwoman, Poison Ivy and her did start hanging out and creating some mayhem.”

Again, Grace doesn’t know what to say.

“Let’s go have a drink!”Harley links one of her pale arms with hers, then starts dragging her out of the bathroom.

[ – – – ]

They both sit on a VIP booth with an exceptional view of the dance floor and enough privacy to plot the murder of the current President. The loud music is now faint and low. At the glass low table, there is a big metal ice bucket with two expensive-looking champagne bottles and two glass flutes nearby.

Harley is sitting on the other side of the table, her maniacal smile still on and with her legs crossed, while Grace sits on the other side in the U velvety couch.

She scans her, now fully seeing her for who she is.

Her hair is up in a messy bun, which is dyed in blue and pink, lipstick smeared from probably drinking too much and her clothes are as eccentric-looking as the wearer is. She is wearing what seems like a dog collar, a very sparkling sequin red crop top matching with a penguin sequin dark jacket, striped high-waisted dark pants, and red neon high-heeled boots.

“Interesting choice of clothes.” she can’t help but say, then nods to her neck. “Nice collar, too.”

Harley smiles, almost childlike.

“Bud and Lou hate wearing it, so I decided to put their dog tags on one and wear it to honor them. Cool, right?”

Grace raises an eyebrow.

“Bud and Lou are…?

The blonde laughs loudly, a hand going to her flat stomach.

“My hyenas, silly!”

Then gets serious, so suddenly that Grace almost jumps from such a radical change of demeanor, and picks up one of the champagne bottle on the ice bucket.

“Sounds cool.”

It is all she can say.

But Harley doesn’t pay her any attention, furiously shaking the bottle up and down until it pops. She laughs fascinated by it, then pours some on both flutes and gives her one.

“Anyways!” she cries out loudly, then sips a bit of the champagne while staring at her, doe-eyed. “I kinda need your help.”

Grace takes a sip too.

“My help?” The raven-haired gets comfortable on the couch, a bit curious about the whole thing. After all, it isn’t every day you have a conversation with the infamous Harley Quinn. “You have just met me, Quinn.”

Harley opens her mouth – almost fish-like–, but Grace points a finger, interrupting her.

“Also, you are paying for the damn damages of the bathroom!”

The blonde enthusiastically nods, even going as far as to salute her military-style, all while smiling cutely.

Grace can’t help but smile back.

Harley Quinn is a very cute girl.

“So, will ya help me?”

She blinks a few times.

“With what?”

“Well, you see… it’s a long story.” Harley says, dragging the long while saying it. Then, she takes another loud sip of her flute. “When Mista J an’ I broke up for the hundred’ time, I decided it was time to emancipate myself! I started hanging out more with my besties, adopted many cute pets, hooked up with hot-billionaire Bruce Wayne once an’ even changed ma’ hair.”

Grace raises a thick brow, surprise all over her face.

“You hooked up with Bruce Wayne? The Bruce Wayne?”

Harley shakes her hands nonchalantly.

“Just kissed an’ groped his ass. Very tight and firm!”

Grace laughs at that and Harley joins her.

“Anyways, anyways. My friend Selina had just recently gotten a heart surgery an’ Red an’ I were helping her out on some things, then decided to live together. We had so much fun together! So, so, so much! We ran Gotham, the boys couldn’t keep up! And… Pammy an’ I… we fell in love.”

The blonde sighed happily, blowing raspberries into her glass flute.

“Pammy is Poison Ivy, right?”

Harley nods with a happy smile, but her face quickly contorts in one full of hatred and disgust.

“But Batnight ruined everything!”

The dark-haired girl scratches her temple, trying to remember the names of all the vigilantes of Gotham City, but she can’t remember anyone called Batnight.

“I don’t… I don’t recall any Batnight?” Grace chews her bottom lip, completely lost. “Is he new in town or…?

Harley shakes her head effusively, a clear no, while moving closer so her butt is now placed on the verge of the couch.

“He has sticks!” the blonde points out as if to help her distinguish who the vigilante is.

Grace takes that into consideration.

“Batnight… Batnight… Bat… Night… Night?.” Grace mumbles out loud while Harley nods along to what she is saying. “Nightwing!”

“That’s what I said!”

Grace opens her mouth to correct her, then closes it. She thought Nightwing now patrolled on Blüdhaven instead of Gotham City. Then, she opens her mouth again to ask about it but decides on not doing, Harley’s tale is already making her head hurt a bit. There is no need to enlarge the story even more.

“Red was helping her plants, ya’ know. Doing some good for nature, an’ the Batnight took her down!” Harley places her flute on the table with ferocity, making it shatter. Nevertheless, she is still looking at her with shiny eyes. “Now, Red is at GCPD Lockup, an’ in a week will be taken to the Asylum! Unjustly!”

The blonde starts to sob desperately, putting her hands to her face so it is hidden from her, and Grace sighs silently. While she stands up and approaches her, she checks her aura.

It is shinning and twinkling furiously, Grace can feel the sadness and sorrow the woman is feeling.

She is not lying.

Grace sits beside her and pats her back slowly.

With a kind smile, she asks her: “And because of what I did in the bathroom, you want me to help you?”

Grace is really an empathic girl, she can’t help it.

Harley drops her hands to her lap and looks at her, her eyeshadow and glittery mascara even more messed up than before. Then, almost shyly, nods.

“I… I have…. “ the woman hiccups while her pale fist starts rubbing her left eye. “I have a plan. It is good! But I need me some explosives to cause a distraction, so I can bail out my Pammy. Normally I would do it myself, I was going to… ‘til I saw ya’ earlier in the bathroom!”

The raven-haired girl laughs softly, then cheekily pinches Harley’s right cheek.

“Alright. Girl, I do have superpowers.” Harley nods along to that. “And I can make things go Boom, but where the heck do I get explosives, huh?”

The blonde grabs Grace’s hands with her bleached ones, turns on the coach to sit cross-legged on it and squeezes her hands tightly. She is smiling a bit more now which makes Grace a bit happy.

She likes seeing people smile.

“Blubberpot probably has some, but we ain’t good friends, ya’ know? So he won’t give it to me.”

“Blubber… pot?”

Harley nods.

“Penguin! Small with a pointy nose? Like a toucan?” she makes a gesture of a nose going large until touching her lap with her hand.

Grace realizes she means Cobblepot, Oswald Cobblepot; and nods.

“But I earlier heard some birds talking about Black Mask, it seems he had a new shipment of LX-14, CL-20 an’ TNT to one of his warehouses here in Gotham. ” Harley whispers conspiratorially, puckering her mouth like a duck, though they are alone in the VIP area.

The dark-haired hums, running Harley’s plan through her mind.

“And you want me to smuggle them up, right?”

Harley nods, then subsequently adds: “Selina is busy with don’t-fucking-know-what and I would ask Zatanna but I heard she was busy! So, please?”

Grace sighs.

“You could go there, make the explosives disappear an’ make them appear in my house!”

“Girl, that’s not how my powers work. To open a portal and then move them to your house, I would need to first have set a foot on the place. I can’t just teleport myself to somewhere I haven’t been to before.” Grace takes her hands off Harley’s hold and crosses her arms while explaining this to the blonde girl. “Also, do you even know which warehouse it is? Last I heard from Black Mask, he has many.”

Harley jumps from her seat and starts searching through her pants pockets, nodding to what Grace said while taking out whatever she finds inside and placing it on the small table. A lipstick, some keys with a key-chain of a circus hammer, a small pocket-knife, another pocket-knife but with a blue handle, some sort of ring –which curiously looks like the pin of a hand grenade, but Grace will turn a blind eye on that –, and finally a crumpled piece of paper.

The blonde gives it to her, smiling happily.

“I wrote it down, ‘cause I’m a smart girl. I got a Ph.D., ya’ know?”

Grace reads the direction written in messy handwriting and chuckles at the smiley face doodled underneath it.

“I will help you out on one condition.” She points a finger to the blonde’s face. “No killing any policemen. Got it?”

Harley nods enthusiastically.

“Then I will help you.”

The blonde lets a loud scream and throws herself to Grace’s arms, ecstatically jumping up and down as she did an hour ago on the nightclub’s bathroom. She is thanking her again and again, tears running down her face and falling to Grace’s naked arms. The dark-haired girl pats her in the back, chuckling lightly, and then hugs her back.

A few seconds later, but still as happy and ecstatic as before, Harley pulls back and places each of her hands on Grace’s cheeks.

“Let’s go have a sleepover at mines!”

#jason todd fanfiction #Jason Todd x reader #jason todd x you #Jason Todd x oc #jason todd x y/n #dc fanfiction #batman fanfiction #aewae ff #my wrtiting

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z-iridest · 5 years ago

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(A/N: Okay, guys, I hope you enjoy a little Denki Kaminari fluff ^.^ A big thank you to @lxvely-mha for helping me with the idea, if you haven't checked out their blog, YOU HAVE NOT LIVED! Lxvly, this is for you, and I hope you don't mind if I drew from your headcannons for Denki Kaminari as a boyfriend)

Hungry Eyes: A Denki Kaminari x Shy & Clumsy Female! Reader One Shot

It all started with a dance....

As the daughter of a pro hero, I had to be ready for anything. A villain attack, random people wanting an autograph from my Dad, and my Dad's infamous loud as hell outbursts to name a few. Considering that the Pro Hero I'm talking about is Present Mic, it's actually kind of ironic that his daughter is a silent, shy klutz that has a similar quirk to his. Mine is literally a sonic scream.....

My clumsiness is going to be my death one day. It's why I've never danced at any school dances, preferring to be either sitting on the sidelines, or next to the DJ booth (sometimes in it if my Dad was the DJ). I'd already embarrassed myself several times tripping over anything and everything, no reason to do it with an audience. To be fair, my Dad did try teaching me how to dance..... Hours of sore feet on my Dad's end later and me falling on my rear way too many times, we were both ready to call it quits. Speaking of my Dad....

There's only a handful of people I've ever talked outloud to: My Dad, My Mom, and my Uncle: Shota Aizawa (yeah, Aizawa is my godfather, get over it). Everyone else, I talk to using JSL or writing down what I want to say. I only talk to people I'm not comfortable around when it's an absolute necessity. Why? Allow me to take you back a few months ago....

See, when I first started at U.A., I started dating this guy... You actually know him. Remember Monoma from Class 1-B? Yeah....

Well, everything was going great with him... Until I caught him making out with a different girl. He had the audacity to tell me it was my own fault for not measuring up to his "perfect standards" and told me I'd never be good enough to live up to my Dad's rep as a Pro Hero, that I was a waste of space. I kinda just shut down after that, refusing to talk to my Dad or Uncle Shota for a while, especially since Monoma spread a rumor around school that I was quirkless. That got me bullied a bit until Dad got wind of it.....

Boy, was he mad....

But don't worry! Everything's fine now. The rumors died down about a month ago, though I think that was mainly due to me joining the BakuSquad.... For those who don't know, the BakuSquad is a group of a bunch of loveable goofballs and their explosive pomeranian of a leader: Katsuki Bakugo. Mina was the one who brought me into the group, and thank god, they never pushed me to talk. I mainly just listened to their antics and tried to hold back fits of laughter. It almost felt normal...

Almost....

Since we broke up, Monoma has a bad habit of cornering me at my locker after school to try to get me to go back to dating him. I always tell him no, and he pushes me around until either Kirishima, Bakugo, Sero or Kaminari come looking for me. I think deep down, he's scared half to hell of Kaminari, because the one time Monoma didn't stop when Kaminari told him to... Oh boy, Pikachu Boy went all out on Monoma, shocking him until he made a run for it. It was actually really funny to watch, I won't lie.....

Back to what I was saying: As the kid of a pro hero, you have to be ready for anything. But, that's where fate'll get you good...

When you least expect it, fate can just (excuse my french) bitch slap you out of nowhere. For example.....

"You did what?!" The only reason I was talking to Mina and Jiro at that second was out of shock. We were in my dorm room, so there was no one around to hear me talk anyways outside of Mina and Jirou.

"Mina decided to nominate you and Kaminari for the couple to do the first dance at the Mid-Summer Dance this year for the first years, and you guys won the school's vote." Jirou told me. I let out a humiliated whine and plopped facedown onto my pillow. The Mid Summer Dance was a school wide dance party to have fun in the final days of summer. One couple from each year did the first, second and third slow dances, the first years being the ones to kick off the actual dance. I felt a hand on my back.

"Aww, come on, Y/N, it's not that bad." Mina's voice told me. I sat up faster than Iida can run, and looked at her with a look that told her I thought she was crazy.

"Are you forgetting who you're talking to? The resident klutz of U.A. High, that's who! I'm gonna die, that's it! Game over, no pro hero career for me! Y/N Yamada, dead at 16! Cause of death: Embarrassing tumble in front of the whole school! I'll be lucky if the dress I wear that night doesn't rip or something on the way there." I burried my face in my pillow again. "Besides, I don't know how to dance. I've always avoided the dancefloor at parties or anything like that."

"Why don't you just ask Kaminari to teach you how to dance?" Jirou asked.

"I've never talked in front of him, remember? And I can't ask him, it'd be too embarrassing." I reminded Jirou.

"Fine, if you won't ask Kaminari to teach you how to dance, I'll ask him for you." Mina's words pierced me with more horror than any thriller movie. Believe me, that's saying something because I hate horror movies.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I shouted, jumping up, but Mina was already out of my room, calling for Kaminari. I raced out of my room after her, but by the time I caught up, she was already telling Kaminari. Crap....The second Kaminari locked eyes with me, I bolted back into my room and hid in the closet. Damn it, Mina! I felt heat rise to my face. Great, now I'm blushing.... Just a few minutes later, I heard footsteps. They stopped before I heard voices.

"Jirou, have you seen Y/N?" Kaminari's voice.

"She's hiding in there." Traitor. I heard footsteps walk away. Okay, maybe Kaminari walked away. Maybe he...

"Y/N?" Damn it, he didn't walk away. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't dance?" I slowly came out of the closet and signed my answer in JSL.

I thought it was obvious. I'm the resident klutz of U.A., so....

"You're scared of falling in front of everyone? You always seem so fearless." Kaminari told me, sitting on my bed. I gave him a You've gotta be kidding me look as I sat down next to him. "I'm serious!"

Looks can be deceiving. I'm scared of everything. I put on a facade during training to make it look like I'm not scared when I actually am.

"You're still such a badass... Anyway, back to the dance. What were you gonna do when the night of the dance came and you still didn't know how to dance?" Kaminari asked me. I shrugged.

I would have figured out something.

"Like what, bailing on the dance all together?" Kaminari asked, raising an eyebrow. I opened my mouth, but quickly closed it. That had been the last resort. "That's what I thought." He stood up and offered his hand to me. "Come on, the dance is a couple weeks away, but we'd better start now if you're gonna be ready." With no other choice, I placed my hand in Kaminari's, a sudden spark flowing from me to him.

And it wasn't from his quirk.

I didn't have time to ponder what the spark even was, because Kaminari pulled me up off my bed and started pulling me to the gym where the dance would be held. I had just enough time to notice how perfectly my hand seemed to fit in his. What's wrong with me?

It was then that the real work began. While keeping up with studying and homework from all my classes (which I had to help Kaminari with most of), and planning the dance with the Dance Committee, I was taking dance lessons with Kaminari. Surprisingly, no matter how much I stepped on his toes, he stayed patient and helped me through it. Everytime I tripped and started falling, he caught me easily. "Now that the worst's happened, you don't have to be scared. I've got you." Kaminari had told me with a wink the first time I had tripped and he had caught me. I have no idea why, but I started blushing like an idiot around him, and kept tripping outside of our dance lessons, worse than my normal clumsiness. If this is what having a crush was, I was falling hard for the human Pikachu.... Literally.

Before I knew it, it was the day before the dance. Kaminari and I danced alone in the gym, and much to my own surprise, I didn't trip. Not once. Kaminari was grinning wider than a Cheshire cat when we finally finished.

"Yes! I knew you could do it, that was awesome!" Kaminari exclaimed with the biggest smile on his face as he pumped both fists in the air. I covered my mouth to keep a laugh in, but it slipped out in a giggle. When I looked up, Denki was looking at me with the most adorable look ever. His head was tilted to one side slightly, and his eyes held this just... Adoring look. "Y'know... Your laugh is adorable." I felt the heat rise to my face as I looked away from him. "I mean it." He made me look at him, giving me a sweet smile. He was so close, one single move from either of us, and we'd be kissing. He cleared his throat after a good long minute, giving me a sheepish smile. "Want to run through it one more time?" He asked me. I nodded and we danced again. I couldn't stop the smile on my face as I danced, feeling happy for the first time in a long time. I noticed that the more I smiled, the more Denki smiled. As we finished the routine perfectly for the second time that day, I felt Denki interlace his fingers with mine, the look on his face serious. He raised one hand, gently cupping the side of my face. My heart started pounding fiercely against my chest. What was going to happen next? "Y/N.... I want to ask you something...." He told me, his eyes and his voice soft. Just as he opened his mouth to continue, my phone rang. I groaned.

"Sorry, I gotta take this." I shrugged before answering my phone.

"Y/N, where are you? We have to do the final preparations for the party!" Mina's voice shrilled at the other end. Iida must have been right there, otherwise she wouldn't have called me about something like this.

"Do I really have to be there?" I asked.

"No, I just need you to answer a couple things over the phone." Mina told me.

"Go for it." I told her, giving Kaminari an apologetic look. He gave me a thumbs up as if silently telling me it was fine. I leaned against the wall behind me as I listened to Mina's questions, answering each one. Everytime I talked, I noticed Denki having that same adoring look on his face. Just as I shifted against the wall a bit, I saw Kaminari start to walk over to me.

"Y/N?" Kaminari called my name, and I noticed he had a determined look on his face."I was wondering... Do you want to go to the dance with me?" I put the phone down for a second, feeling a little confused.

"Yeah, I mean, the BakuSquad's all going together, right? I think Bakugo has us leaving the dorms around 7 or something..." I told him. I heard Mina call my name and put the phone back to my ear. Jeeze, how many more questions did this girl have?

"No, I mean, with me." Denki told me. What was he getting at?

"Yeah, I can swing by your dorm around 6:30." I told him. He did mean arrive there as a group with the squad.... Didn't he? Mina asked me another question before I could think about what he meant. "Yeah, when you're facing the stage it has to go on the left... Right." I shook my head as Mina sounded confused. "No, the left, not the right." I heard Denki mumble something under his breath, something along the lines of,

"Oh man, this is gonna be hard." I suddenly felt his hand on mine as he placed his other arm on the wall next to me. Is he... Doing the kabedon on me? I felt my cheeks turn bright red, as he was really, really close to me now. I was forced to look into his gold eyes, which held a very serious look. "Y/N..." He moved my phone fully from my ear, keeping my closed hand in his. I swear, Mina was intently listening in, because I could hear her suddenly go silent on the other line. "Would you.... Be my date for the Mid-Summer Dance?" A smile crept onto my face, which caused him to chuckle a bit. "And... If you don't absolutely hate me by the end of it... Would you... consider... Maybe, being more than friends?" I smiled up at him brighter. I was getting asked out by my crush! "Maybe?"

"Like... Boyfriend and girlfriend where we can... Hold hands instead of just fist bumping and slugging each other all the time, and... We can text, and I can tell you how great you are, because, Kaminari, you really are great, and I'm the luckiest girl in the world, you're so sweet and adorable, and..." I suddenly felt something warm and soft against my lips, effectively cutting me off. Despite the dark blush on my face, I melted into Denki's kiss. When we finally pulled away, he grinned down at me.

"First of all, you call me Denki. And second, if anyone's the lucky one, it's me, sweetheart." I closed my eyes and blushed darker, if it was humanly possible, as he softly kissed my forehead. I giggled and hugged him, feeling him hug me back. "Well then, milady, until tomorrow night." He grinned goofily as he held my hand in his, bowing and pressing a soft kiss to the back of my hand. With a wink and the most adorable smile, he was gone.

When I got back to the dorms, I was greeted by all the girls, each one having the stupidest smile on their faces as they all sat in the common room. I blushed under their stares and said only two words, knowing Mina had heard what had happened after dance practice and had told all the girls. "Shut up." I told them, causing all of them to burst into a giggle fit.

Right after school the next day, the girls of 1-A practically dragged me to my room to get me ready for the dance. Mina, Momo and Ochaco teamed up on picking the dress while Toru and Jirou teamed up on curing my hair. Once my hair was finished being curled and fully hair sprayed, Toru pinned one side of my hair out of my face with bobby pins before Mina, Asui and Ochaco carefully helped me into the dress they chose: an adorable white, off the shoulder sundress that fell to my knees in length. While Ochaco grabbed a pair of white heels for me to wear, Mina did my makeup for me. I put my heels on myself once Mina was done and grabbed my purse, blushing when I saw that all the girls were admiring their work. "Twirl, Y/N! Twirl for us!" Toru cheered at me. I blushed and twirled. The dress spun before falling back into place, the girls awwing before I spoke up, looking at the time.

"Uh, guys? It's 6:45." My words forced them into action, a unanimous:

"Oh, crap!" Leaving each of the girls as they scampered off to go get ready, realizing they had very little time left to ready themselves because of fawning over every little detail when it came to me. I giggled and looked at my reflection. I didn't look completely like myself, but for the first time in a long time... I felt... Beautiful.

At 7, I left the comfortable confines of my room to join everyone else in the common room. I felt my face turn dark red as the chatter from the boys suddenly stopped, all attention on me.

"Damn, Yamada, you look great." Kirishima spoke up first, a grin on his face.

"Great? Try goregous!" Sero spoke up. All the boys except for Bakugo, Midoriya, Todoroki and Kamin... I mean Denki, started arguing about what word was best to describe me. I snuck a look at Denki. That teasing bastard was wearing black dress pants with really nice black shoes and a tucked in, white button up shirt with the top two buttons undone. He just had to dress like that for tonight... I exchanged glances with Denki, and I swear, there was a shit-eating grin on Kaminari's face as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Man, if I'd known you'd get all cleaned up this good for me, I would have asked you out weeks ago." Denki told me as he looked down at me.

"Blame the girls, they wouldn't let me out of my room until I accepted their wish to do a full on makeover." I blushed darker. "You cleaned up really nice too, by the way." He grinned down at me before pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Only for my baby... Besides, girls should know you didn't need to put on makeup and style your hair just to impress me, princess. You're beautiful to me no matter what you look like." He whispered in my ear before softly kissing the tip of my nose. I hid my dark red face in his chest as Kaminari spoke up over the guys, cutting off their arguement. "It's all very flattering, but the best word to describe her is simple: Angelic." I could practically feel the cheesy smile he was shooting at me in that second. I looked up at him and opened my mouth to respond, but the girls had joined us just then.

When we got there, Dad was blasting music left and right, doing his DJ thing as always. I laughed a bit as I saw him living up. I had to admit, the decoration committee did an awesome job at turning the big old gym into a dancefloor. I felt Kaminari kiss my cheek and I turned toward him. "Go ahead and say hi to your Dad, I'll grab us some punch." He told me. I smiled and nodded before pulling him down into a quick kiss... Which he turned into 3 sweet little pecks. I giggled and he winked before leaving my side. As I made my way toward the DJ booth, Jirou caught me.

"Y'know, we all knew he had a crush on you. As soon as you guys started doing dance lessons, he suddenly stopped flirting with all the girls and started keeping Mineta in line." She told me.

"Seriously?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, Mina and I knew it was a matter of time before he asked you out. We just weren't expecting it to happen yesterday." She told me. I smiled. "I really am happy for you guys. You especially look extremely happy."

"I haven't smiled like this in a long time, Jirou." I told her honestly. She smiled and we exchanged a hug before I continued walking toward my Dad. He grinned when he saw me and exited the DJ booth for a second to give me a hug.

"You look beautiful, baby bird." Dad told me, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. I smiled up at him.

"Thanks, Dad." I told him.

"You nervous for the dance?"

"A little. But, I've been practicing for the past two weeks, so I think I'll be okay."

"Who is your partner anyway? Everytime I was about to find out, I got pulled away."

"You'll see, Dad." I winked at him before leaving to rejoin Denki. Instead, I ran into the only person who could ruin the night for me.....

"Wow, Y/N, you never dressed like this for me." Monoma crooned at me.

"I never felt comfortable until now, please excuse me." I said as I started to walk away. My heart came to a slamming hault in my chest as Monoma grabbed my wrist, stopping me from going anywhere. "M-Monoma, let me go!" I told him, feeling a panic attack coming on. My anxiety was shooting through the roof....

"You're not going anywhere with him." Monoma hissed at me. "You're mine."

"Not anymore." I yanked my wrist out of his grip, gingerly holding it. "Denki cares about me way more than you ever could care. You don't care about anyone but yourself, and I'd take back dating you if I could." I told him, trying to calm myself down. He growled, roughly grabbing my arm and pushing me into a corner. My breathing got so short, I couldn't breathe.

"Wrong move." He snarled at me. Right before he could touch me, he yelped, a spark of electricity zapping through him. Behind him was Denki, his quirk crackling in his right hand, and boy did he looked pissed.

"Denki." A breath of relief left me as I scampered behind him, feeling his right hand hold mine as Monoma growled angrily, getting back up.

"Nobody puts my baby in a corner." Denki snarled, aiming a bolt of his quirk at the ground near Monoma's feet. That blue eyed, selfish blond screamed like a girl and ran for it, his classmates laughing at him while Kendo scolded him. As soon as Monoma was gone, Denki deactivated his quirk, turned around and wrapped his arms around me protectively. "You okay, babe?" He asked. I nodded.

"I am now." I told him before kissing his cheek. "Thanks for saving me." He grinned down at me and winked just as my Dad announced that it was time to dance. He let go of me and offered his arm.

"Shall we, milady?" He asked. I giggled and took his arm.

"Do you even have to ask?" I questioned in counter. He chuckled before leading me to the dancefloor. Once of the floor, we took our starting positions before the beat of the song started. (A/N: Start listening to Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen for this part ^.^).

As soon as the beat started, we started to move, our eyes never leaving each other. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see all of Class 1-A gathered around us, watching us as we danced. "Everyone's watching us." I whispered to him.

"They don't matter right now. It's just you and me right now, baby." He whispered back with a grin. I giggled as I had fun, dancing with him. I knew, without a doubt, that my Dad was watching us, and I mentally cringed. Denki wasn't exactly popular with the teachers in a good way..... My thoughts distracted me enough to make me trip over my own feet after the second verse. Thank God for Denki, because he caught me and made it look like he was dipping me, which caused our classmates to cheer. He winked. "Told you I'd catch you." He softly told me. I smiled and we continued to dance, Denki spinning me at certain points and the next dip he did being during the instrumental after the bridge after twirling me again.

We continued dancing until the music started to fade out, stopping in the middle and slowly bringing our conjoined hands down. A roar of applause thundered from the crowd and Denki pulled me into a hug. I did it.... I danced with my boyfriend without getting embarrased! I felt him tense a bit after a second and I turned to see my Dad giving Denki the "I'm watching you" look. I rolled my eyes and pulled Denki into a kiss, feeling him hold me tighter as we kissed.

This night couldn't have been more perfect.....

Epliouge ( A/N: Extra just for fun!)

A couple days after the dance, Monoma tried to corner me again, this time being stupid enough to do it while the BakuSquad was still around me. I heard a snarl leave my boyfriend, but I put my hand out, stopping him from doing anything as I glared at my ex as he fired off insult after insult at me. But, he really crossed the line, pissing me off in the process, when he insulted Denki. Finally having had enough, I slammed my locker shut and faced Monoma with the sharpest glare on my face. If looks could kill.... "Monoma, you are absolutely pathetic. You can say whatever you want about me, but insulting my boyfriend? It's about time you GET A LIFE!" I used my quirk on Monoma, letting out the loud energy I had contained for months on end thanks to him. He flew backwards and hit the wall while Sero, Kirishima, even Bakugo laughed their asses off. Denki smirked as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Told you: You're a badass." Denki told me.

"Come on, guys, let's get the hell out of here." I told my friends, walking out beside my boyfriend.

(A/N: Tada! ^.^ Hope you guys enjoyed!)

Taglist: @lxvely-mha @fakeanimefanntnt

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theworryjournal · 5 years ago

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Body Positivist Police

You know the number of body positivist influencers I follow? You wouldn’t believe it but I also follow a few animal/pet profiles on social media that promote body positivism. A very “LOL” moment when I realised that’s how intensely I’m battling body positivism. If there’s one of me, then there are many like me right? A very millennial problem to possess, yet so subjective. You know what I don’t get though, how do I expect someone living outside of my body to help me normalise what’s happening within and on my body? No matter who I follow or what they preach, you can never normalise what I see when I look in the mirror or what I feel when I touch ME. No matter how many stretch mark photos I see, no matter how many uneven breasts I see, no matter how many paunchy human beings I see, its never enough. Do you feel that dissatisfaction? And eventual remorse? Well, I do and I couldn’t fathom, why not? They are doing it, I sort of look like her or him, so its okay. Its not. Its really not (because growing up, I never saw a body like mine up on the big screen and I still don’t see it). Especially those 1000 word essay type captions I see, the ones that do not have a TLDR version saying how they overcame this or that (no disrespect to the ones who have such posts, no offense intended, just normalising), still doesn’t help.

I’ve batted an issue with weight, almost all my life (at least since I hit puberty, in my head that’s when my life actually began). Not weight exactly because I’ve weighed healthy (according to all the WHO standards) but the way I “looked” to myself, in the mirror. I was never satisfied. I always found my thighs too heavy or “thunderous” if you wanna call it. I’ve always found myself too paunchy, there have been times when I’ve breathed short and heavy so that I’m able to hold my shape at a party (WTF right?). I’ve always caught myself staring for too long at my classmates’ (in high school) legs or arms, how they don’t jiggle and mine always did (and still do). I would starve myself, skip lunch and feed my lunch to the dogs. 4 years of braces and hating on my frizzy and curly hair, you would think growing up helps right? Newsflash, not really. Freud was right. if you don’t figure your childhood out, it’ll be your midlife crisis. Then came my 20s, 4 years of braces and 3 teeth short after, joined college and suddenly I was one of those girls that men looked more than twice. Men and women of all races wanted to look at me twice or felt the need to tell me that I looked “good” or they like how I’m dressed or how it accentuates so and so. I was being talked about, I was a standard to many girls. I couldn’t believe myself. I would still look at myself in the mirror, unsure. When I was eventually used to it, I was satisfied. My idea of satisfaction is allowing myself to eat an extra serving of rice (yes, I’m South Asian) or more meat or extra desserts. I discovered this new found confidence that glowed within me and helped me walk with my chin up because men wanted me. They wanted my sex. I was so confident, I was audacious. Happy. This new treatment mollified everything and I soon forgot I ever had issues with the way I looked. You know, until I was in my early 20s, I didn’t think I was a looker. That someone would look at me twice. It was in my 20s, that I heard someone call me beautiful. Pretty. A looker. Hot. Sexy. Cute. That hair is exquisite on you. Then I graduated and transitioned to my mid-20s. Being a professional and all that jazz.

Slowly that confidence began to chip away. Maybe because I didn’t have men/women constantly validating me? Or that constant flow of attention? Then came the string of online dates and I got my next (best, apparently) constant source of attention and validation. I wasn’t out there hunting for validation for my wounded ego, it just came my way and of course I lapped it up. I was so used to that by now. I was hungry. With the “Do you know the kind of effect you have on men” to “Come on! You are being modest. You are fetching for compliments, aren’t you?” Well, no. I’m not. I really don’t know how I look. I don’t “believe” how I look. I mean, how can you believe in something you have no understanding of right? I also began noticing that every problem/hurdle I faced in my life, the first to erode, was the way I looked. That’s when I realised that the most fragile part of me is that, what I see when I look at the mirror. Bad relationship and I “let myself go” and ate whatever I could eat. That’s when I saw the scale dip to the higher end, something that’s never happened before. And now, I was unhealthy and of course I didn’t like what I saw either. That didn’t affect me then because he didn’t think I looked bad. He was attracted to me, even if I wasn’t. Then he left and the veil lifted. An alarm went off and I saw her. Me.

I was sad. Moping everyday. I stopped looking at the mirror. I stopped dressing well. My self-esteem left the building. Being quarantined didn’t help for sure. I knew I was dipping into being unhealthy and finally found that courage in me to face myself and my body. I started eating healthy. Tried not to deprive myself of anything. I exercised (overdid it in the beginning to an extent where I almost injured myself but now I’m learning). It wasn’t easy. I would beat myself bloody (metaphorically) if I cheated or overate or didn’t stick to my regime or didn’t exercise. Now, I’m slowly transitioning. I’m having conversations with my body in front of the mirror. I love looking at myself in the mirror now. I love my hair. I love my skin. I love my stretch marks. I love eating cupcakes. I eat loads of rice. I’ve a paunch and I love it. I sometimes make it talk to me, you know like how kids do it. Yet, there are days when its really difficult. When I’m bloated and I feel like everything I did has gone for a toss. When I look at my arms and think they’re too large. At least, those days are lesser in number than the happy ones. I like taking pictures of myself now and uploading them, regardless of who thinks what. Especially pictures that show my paunch or arms or thighs. I breathe deeply and through my belly now. I finally don’t add as much value as I did when someone compliments me. I thank them and tell myself you bet I do. Because I do. I really do.

Today I’m 26, a vegan (because animal husbandry is going to drive us to extinction), slightly overweight, paunchy, thunder thighs, beautiful curly hair and hairy sometimes. I eat healthy and unhealthy, I exercise whenever I can and I’m happy. I’m “satisfied”. I still follow those pages and like every post because I’m supportive. I realised that no matter how much positive energy you surround yourself with, its never gonna be enough until you fill your insides with it. I look in the mirror everyday because I like who I see, she makes me happy. I don’t upload photos so that someone else validates it or to help someone else see if I can, so can you. No. I do it because it makes me happy. I’m celebrating, everyday. This body. This smile. This hair. This skin. Every time I hit a block and have difficulty accepting a part of my body, I photograph it and look at it again and again. Until I’ve normalised it for ME. When someone says, do you have any idea the kinda effect you have on people, I genuinely know the answer to that because I’ve that same effect on myself, when I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve created this masterpiece today and I’ll fiercely protect her.

Its funny how I came to realise that I need to normalise it for myself, every time I’m intoxicated and my inhibitions dropped, I would see someone else in the mirror. A woman fierce from within. Appealing from within. Her personality defining her features. Her personality and her looks amalgamating and reflecting off of my mirror. I would suddenly find every part of my body so appealing and almost turning on. When it would wear off, I wouldn’t see that anymore. That’s when I realised, I’ve to do it for me. Just like how all these influencers are doing it for themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love makeup, dressing up and being complimented. The only difference is I do it only to accentuate what I already am and have and not to change the way I look or am.

TLDR- You gotta do it. You gotta do it for yourself. I mean, you live in that body. You feel its feelings. You masturbate with that body. You dress that body. How can someone else do it for you?

The irony is that my profession is helping others eat healthy and maintain a better lifestyle, I’m a nutritionist. I didn’t plan to be one at all. That’s a story for another time. The universe sure does work in mysterious ways.

Normalise it. Feel it. Accept it. Love it. We’re on each other’s team. Kinda tired of having to throw my hands in the air.

#bodypositivity #me #its okay i guess #mental health #doitforyourself #cantstopwontstop #healthy #strong #independant #notalone #courage

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aspire-to-the-light · 6 years ago

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Micro-disability

I cannot follow pointer fingers, or rotate objects in my head. If you point at an object on a table of objects, I usually can't pick out the one you're talking about unless you get close enough to almost touch it; I just can't draw that invisible line in space and select the object you're trying to indicate. If you're giving me directions, you can't point to a house and say "turn left there" - all I'll do is look puzzled and repeatedly ask where you mean until you clarify with a description.

I knew someone once with an old shoulder injury that meant he couldn't lift one arm directly above his head. He could lift it most of the way, but not the whole way, so his reach was just a little less than others might have assumed, and sometimes he got odd looks if he had to ask for help reaching a high shelf.

A partner of mine can't be in rooms where too many conversations are happening at once. His brain can't filter out the ones he isn't listening to from the one he is, so he quickly gets overwhelmed and distressed and needs to leave.

I can't walk quickly without it taking up my entire concentration and becoming tiring very fast. I walk at an astonishingly slow pace naturally, and if I consciously speed up my steps then they subconsciously get smaller, and if I consciously lengthen my steps then they subconsciously get slower. Something about going faster is just very rapidly physically and psychologically exhausting, and I don't know precisely what it is. I can run forever without dropping at my comfortably mid-speed loping pace, but I can't go much faster than it.

None of these things fit the criteria to be disabilities, under the 'standard' definition. We aren't incapable of holding jobs or having fulfilling home lives because of these limitations. We don't need paid carers, or the government to give us benefits because we can't work, and it probably isn't worth medical help to fix the problem.

At the same time, a huge amount of the discourse around disability rights is valid and useful for discussing these problems. My partner ought to be able to say that a room is overwhelming because of the number of conversations happening, and people ought to respect that by taking him elsewhere to continue their own conversation. He shouldn't be judged for it, or have people assume he just isn't trying hard enough, or be shamed. He certainly shouldn't be fired for it; accommodations should be made.

Like with 'full' disabilities, micro-disabilities can become more disabling when there's an intersection of them. I also have auditory processing disorder; I struggle to hear people if there's background noise, or if they're looking away from me and not projecting towards me. In other words, if you're walking in front of me, I can't hear you - and because I walk slowly, I'm almost always trailing behind the back of the group. It makes me feel constantly excluded and dismissed from conversations while I'm walking with people, like nobody values me enough to slow down so that I can hear them.

The concept illustrates some aspects of how we think about providing accommodations, asking for evidence, and validating disabilities. Often, the policy of institutions is to require evidence of a disability before they will accommodate it. You can't get free medical treatment unless a doctor certifies you actually have the disease, or you can't get extra time on tests unless you fail some other tests, or you can't sue your employer for firing you unless you can demonstrate it's actually your disability that's making you late all the time. The thing about micro-disabilities is that almost nobody will ever be able to prove that they have one, because it simply isn't worth diagnosing. I can't go to a doctor and get a certificate that says I get nauseous if I wake up too early, or I struggle to follow pointer fingers, or I have to keep my hair short because I find it painful to hit a tangle when I'm brushing my hair, or I get stomach bugs more often because of my hopeless addiction to biting my nails.

My doctor simply does not have the time or inclination to measure my ability to understand finger-pointing, decide whether it falls below some threshold, and issue a certificate that says I am now Officially Disabled and my employer will be in Big Trouble if they fire me for being unable to follow pointer fingers. So if I want this to be accommodated - if I want people to give me descriptive directions rather than assuming I can see what they're gesturing at - I have to simply ask them to trust that I really am trying my hardest, I just can't do this.

How you treat micro-disability is, I think, a good lens into whether you truly respect the needs of disabled people. If you'll grudgingly provide accommodations to those who can prove they are really disabled, that's one thing. But people with micro-disabilities aren't really disabled. They're just... a little bit disabled. So do we accommodate them? Do we respect them when they say 'hey, I can't do this' or do we raise our eyebrows and ask them to try harder? Do we listen when they say things are harder for them than for others, or do we look at them oddly and tell them we've never heard of that disability before?

It's a more complicated question than it might seem, I think. Because we accommodate all sorts of micro-disabilities all the time - the ones that are ordinary enough that we don't even think of them as disabilities. Being too short to reach high shelves, or too weak of grip to open jars, or too broad-shouldered for a small-size jacket; these are things we accommodate all the time.

We don't think of someone as disabled for needing reading glasses, but neither do we think that they're faking because they only need the glasses sometimes.

The micro-disabilities people doubt are the odd ones, the ones we struggle to explain and understand. Neither I nor doctors understand why I walk slowly, and it isn't a common problem to have, and that's precisely why people assume I could just try harder and keep up.

Which is awkward when micro-disabilities are so often just tiny, rarely-reported or lesser-known symptoms of "official" disabilities. I have a diagnosis of ADHD, and the common perception is that that means that I can't concentrate or sit down. But it actually affects so much more than that. How many of my tiny mental symptoms are my ADHD expressing itself in ways nobody knows are associated with ADHD? Who knows.

It is meant to illustrate that disability is a spectrum. We cannot draw a line, anywhere in the progression from 'gets tired easily when walking' to 'walks with a limp' to 'can only walk with a cane' to 'can't walk and uses a wheelchair', and say with confidence that people on one side of the line are really fully disabled and those on the other side aren't. 'Micro-disability' merely points at the existence of some centre place between fully abled and being so disabled that it majorly impairs your ability to have an ordinary life; it's still a fuzzy category, with boundaries that almost make less sense the more you think about them.

It's a more inclusive view of disability, certainly. Almost everyone has some kind of micro-disability, whether it's slow reading or a food sensitivity or a chronically infected toenail that hurts when stepped on. Disabled people aren't some odd group of cripples hidden away in hospitals that you'll never meet; disabled people are everyone who can't do certain things that others can do, for reasons that aren't their fault. Some of us may need more or less help and support than others, but all of us just deserve people to listen to us about what we need.

It took a long time, but I ended up reframing a lot of my little difficulties in this way, and I think it makes my life better. I don't force myself to just try harder to navigate any more; I just take my phone everywhere and use Google Maps, rotating the screen for every turn I take because I can't do it in my head. It's... a thing worth introspecting about.

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