#I kept distracting myself

[ineed-to-sleep]

*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it

[chrisbangs]

HAN JISUNG + PEACH

for anon

[fbfh]

just woke up from a baby dream and I'm a sobbing wreck :) anyway Logan Huntzberger doesn't expect much from his future besides monetary success, partying, and a lot lot lot of sex. he definitley doesn't expect to look up one day and realize he's sharing a home, a life with someone. not only that, but he's the one that instigated it. he told you in college he didn't like you being around other guys. he stopped caring about the girls that he would go between, because now he just seems to care about you. everything else falls to the sidelines. so he comes back to his big fancy house after an important business meeting on the golf course, and he sees you there. some old sitcom is marathoning on tv, and you're wrapped up in fluffy blankets, hair up and out of your face. you look so cozy, so comfortable. you keep adjusting the blankets, fussing with them as you hum softly. he walks closer, overcome with a feeling of love and swelling pride and... paternal instinct he's never felt. your son Henry, just a month or two old is bundled on your arms. you look up at Logan and smile so warmly he could cry just from the look on your face when you see him.

"hi," you breathe softly. Henry's settled down, so you don't want to rile him up too much, but he's not all the way asleep.

"hey ace," he breaths, sitting next to you. he wraps you in his arms and kisses you, meeting forgotten as you both admire you baby boy together. you rub his tummy gently, soothingly, and Logan smooths his hair. it's short and fuzzy, and a little prickly. it makes him laugh softly. Henry is wearing the white and blue onesie Honor got for him at the baby shower. he makes a mental note to take some pictures to send her of him wearing it. the soft fabric of his polo shirt and the smell of his cologne mixed with the distinct remnants of golf course air is so comforting. he watches you admire your son, trace the shape of his cute little nose, copy the faces he makes, babble little noises at him. he watches you smooth his hair and help him get comfortable in your arms, watches you place your finger in his hand so he can hold onto it with that surprisingly strong baby death grip. Henry wiggles around, getting comfortable in your arms, and you kiss his forehead again. once you're sure that he's settled, not too warm and not too cold, comfortable and lying safely, you can finally relax. you rest your head on Logan's shoulder, closing your eyes and finally letting yourself relax and rest a little. you take in a big deep breath of his masculine scent, somehow both spicy and refreshing, and sigh. you're content. you're more than content, he realizes. you're happy. Logan... made you happy. he found out what you wanted and built you a life you want, a life he wants. it hits him like a ton of bricks in one overwhelming, amazing moment, and he soaks in the feeling, watching the way your sleeping babys face and yours mirror each other.

[koachdal]

wanted a way to visualise lap times so i did something

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

[f-imaginings]

I have finally FINALLY got up to the dream scene at the start of the last mabelcorn in kmky and everything is flowing nicely finally, and the scenes and characterisation all are smooth and make sense and I am no longer going over the same establishing scenes like a pedant trying to make them perfect. SUCCESS!

Just have to knock out these next few bits then it's onto unicorn beatdowns, funny hats, pizza parties and loophole heists!

[pollen]

hi fellow neurodivergent people

i hate to jump on the "i think i might have adhd" bandwagon, but if i think i might have adhd, how do i bring it up to my care team as a 28-year-old cis woman who was a massive overachiever until i couldn't keep up the ruse anymore?

[peachsukii]

Might be a little radio silent today and tomorrow, but I'll be back soon. Gonna run off a queue & pop in and out. 💜

[imageingrunge]

I loved their love....

[yuelun]

This will one day be a much larger post (I've already started working on it) as thoughts and details settle, but I wanted to make some quick notes (who am I kidding, this won't be a short post) here so that you guys know where my thoughts are. Just as I personally also ascribe (though I do not assume people to do the same, of course!) to the theory of ZL being a Sun-King (and potential brother to) alongside King Deshret and then Remus and/or Decarabian for numerous reasons after personally researching it myself, I also am being faced with too many coincidences when it comes to Guizhong possibly being one of the three moon sisters (or at the very least, a Seelie), who I believe to be part of a 'Seven' alongside the aforementioned four Sun-kings. Which, if the returning and reinforced leaks of Guizhong's likelihood of playability is to even be roughly taken as a possibility, then there needs to be reason for it. There's a popular theory that the Moon Sisters were shades of the Primordial One alongside Istaroth, if that is true, there may be reason in there to bring her back (even for the Tsaritsa), considering I feel like a big endgame next to the arc of Khaenri'ah, is/will be a faceoff with Celestia. Any way, this is a little incoherent, but let me put down a little list of things I want to touch on, but just can't write the full post of yet. These are just my little (ha!) thoughts.

Edit: Nevermind, it got long, it's very long, but if you like your lore and you're interested in knowing how looney deep I went with this, keep on reading! I will however, be making more parts to this as I continue on and gather lore bits. I also like documenting my journey of meta, so I can see what I thought six months prior, you know? Enjoy!

The Chasm. I'll forever stay stuck on how this part of the 'Stories of Remote Antiquity' OST plays during Guizhong's death scene. Our beloved Hoyoverse doesn't do anything by coincidence, they never once have. If they wanted to do something tragic, there are other Liyue OSTs out there that will punch you in the gut equally as much if not more. But this? This is oddly intentional. Ever since, I've been trying to figure out any potential ties to it, and with the Chenyu Vale theory out and about, claiming Guizhong to be the unnamed god (female and ever kind) that the three adepti served, another tie may be created through the fact that the people from Chenyu Vale originate from the Chasm (there's numerous tidbits as to why people tie her to Chenyu; I'd suggest the video, it's easier for now!). I also think, on some level, that if she is tied to the origins of the Chasm in some way, that it was her "descension" (or 'fall') that led to its unique creation. I don't know how the dots connect, but I've identified the dots, kind of, maybe.

The insane references to the night/moon. Her color scheme, the night sky in her sleeves, and the fact that she is inherently tied to the Glaze Lilies (which are known to bloom only at night). Furthermore, if you recognize and/or adhere to the fact that the Rite of Parting does not contain ingredients that befit Rex Lapis but instead seem to very much align with her, then there's also the Noctilucous Jade (I literally just realized that it's jade) which is known to glow at night. And then there's her inventions, which are all golden and sun-like in color scheme and I think of that line of lore about the Moon Sisters: "These three luminous moons shared but one love, the stars of daybreak." Daybreak, gold, golden, light, the sun. I'm losing my mind as I'm typing this. Any way, I digress, Noctilucous Jade is found underground, in caverns and more specifically, is rather abundant in the Chasm (my dearly detested). I've accepted that I just have an affinity to characters who seem to have either a direct or indirect tie to this place. I'll never escape it, I'll become one of its victims. /breathes, let me move onto the next point.

The Glaze Lilies. Now, while we know the Goddess of Flowers isn't a Moon Sister (this'll get tied in, I promise, please try to follow me here), the fact that she is a Seelie is important enough, for the three Moon Sisters were said to have lived alongside the race of the Seelies. This might mean some shared traits. Now even Seelies are noted to have an intricate tie to the moon, and a thing that the Goddess of Flowers was known for, was that when she danced, Padisarah flowers bloomed under her feet. 'But Sae, the Glaze Lilies didn't bloom when Guizhong danced', no no, I'll get there. It was specifically when she danced, or was around them. What I'm doing is tying these flowers to her more specifically, which is further enforced by the fact that after the Goddess of Flowers died, the Padisarahs dwindled in number until they became fully extinct. The ones you see today are not the real ones, they are replications created by Rukkhadevata herself in memory of her former friend. I note this, because a similar thing has occurred to the Glaze Lilies. In the aftermath of Guizhong's death, the Glaze Lilies that once populated the Guili Plains and Dihua Marsh have dwindled into extinction, and the only reason why they are found in Liyue today in some capacity, is because of Morax' direct influence (last few lines; and yes, I'm aware this is 'unreleased canon' at present, but none in this contradicts our current lore in any way, so I bear no qualms in making even loose use of it), but this seems to also insinuate that the Glaze Lilies that we see today, are not the real ones. So in essence, when the moment of the departure/death of the Goddess of Flowers came about, a specific flower associated with her came to perish as well. Is it a concept of, if the creator (one tied so intricately to the moon) is gone, do her creations wither away much in the same way? Now to mention one final thing, is the flower that most closely resembles the Glaze Lily: the Nilotpala Lotus. Not only do they share a color palette and very similar design, they share the peculiar behavior of blooming only at night, when subjected to the light of the moon itself. Now the most important thing to note here, is that the Nilotpala Lotuses were literally created and bloomed when the Moon Sisters stepped foot into Teyvat. One could, in essence, see the two flowers as 'lunar flowers'. Listen, I've never quite liked coincidences.

Dust. Now, this is a little more of a 'loose' connection and also me slightly rambling about something else that intrigues me to the moon and back (no pun intended), but it has my mind going insane nonetheless. Also, the very end is a reach, I'm aware, we know next to nothing about the Shades. Any way, Guizhong is inherently tied to two things: dust and alchemy. And these two become even more important when combined. Now, you'll have to strap in and wait for the little 'tie-in' at the end, because this can take a little bit. Her God name is 'Haagentus', which stems from Haagenti, one of the demons from the Ars Goetia. Within demonology, Haagenti is firmly tied to alchemy and transmutation, and while I'm not going to focus too much on specifics outside of the game, it is noted that 'he makes men wise by instructing them in every subject, transmutes all metals into gold, and changes wine into water and water into wine.' Sound fitting enough already, no? Now, outside of her name, let me hone in on some really clear alchemy references that you can find on and around her person. When you look at her design, Guizhong has numerous accessories that seem to be very closely resembling alchemy keys or symbols of some kind (this is not my area of expertise, but I will make it so if need be after this post, unless someone recognizes these symbols), primarily the 'pin' that holds the main portion of her hair back, a tattoo on her upper back, the 'petals' on her sleeves, and what has me most intrigued are the following two things: the symbols actively floating around her (and for clarity, see her cutscene, timestamped, shows them to be animated and coming from her and not the Cleansing Bell), and her anklet in a similar shape (which also seems to be a unique design in Genshin so far). Now, with alchemy established, let me hound on something that ties dust into alchemy, and what it means within Teyvat. Yes, I'm going to touch on its importance within the Art of Khemia, an advanced form of alchemy that is said to have been closely tied to Khaenri'ah (and might I note: Guizhong is noted to have numerous Ruin Guards, Khaenri'an technology, in her domain roughly 2000 years before they ever reached the surface of Teyvat's). Any way, this is where I need to touch on Albedo's character details, specifically the following:

"The universe is heaven reversed, and the earth is a dream lost to time. This is dust, the most basic form of complex life." As if to provide evidence for this claim, Albedo lifted the burnt ash of the flower that once grew atop a Dendro Slime's head. Seconds later, a Cecilia sprouted forth from the ash in his hand. "And this... is new birth."

And then from the caption in Collected Miscellany - "Albedo: Kreideprinz":

"Soil and chalk, the universe and earth, pure dust and the birth of human life... There is no mistaking it."

A little tie to the creation of life, interesting, indeed. Alright, now while it's not canon by any means, it is a popular enough theory that the Moon Sisters were three (out of four) of the Primordial One's Shades. And one of them is noted to have been in part responsible for the creation of life. Now I'm not tying this Shade into Guizhong, but I'm simply drawing the potential importance of her title of 'God of Dust' into the equation, or simply to reiterate the importance of dust within the existence of Teyvat as a whole as it stands today. And what it might mean if she was indeed, a Moon Sister (to tie into this, the 'Sun-Kings' are also firmly tied to the creation of life; I believe most of this 'generation' of gods would be). Anyway, continuing!

Now, there is a reference (which I do have to note is a legend and nothing more, but we'll take it to heart) that tells me that it's certain that at least two Moon Sisters are 'confirmed' dead, by account of there being only one moon left in Teyvat's sky, instead of three. The legend notes that two 'shattered into dust' (hello, dust) and subsequently disappeared which seems to be indicative of their death, and one secluded herself within the Lunar Palace and was never seen again. Now the tale of legends recounts that the moon we still see is tied to the corpse of a Moon Sister, but how has that one endured when the other two have not? There are no remains of the other two, why not? Unless the third Moon Sister didn't actually die, or 'fully' die. Bear with me, this is where it gets very hypothetical, but it makes enough sense in my head, I'm mostly just having issues putting all of this into proper words. The reference given above is from Moonpiercer, an Aranara weapon. These little green friends had seen the Moon Sisters descend into Teyvat multiple times (we know this, due to the much earlier referenced blooming of the Nilotpala Lotuses), and at one point no longer saw them come down. Whatever 'calamity' occurred during which the Moon Sisters were said to have died, the Aranara reference that they died, and noted the way in which they perished, but unless this information was given to them by the envoys between Teyvat and Celestia, the Seelies, this would have consisted of pure speculation and assumption. After all, everything returns to dust, even deities such as the Moon Sisters. What if that's exactly what happened with the third Moon Sister? What if her death never occurred, or, what if the death was more symbolical in a sense of, she strayed from that level of divinity, what if she fell from the Lunar Palace and landed in... the Chasm? The place that is said to have been created by a large impact to its region, and later on also was the location of the fall of the Solar Chariot?

In essence, yes, I'm making the argument that Haagentus might just be this specific Moon Sister. 'But Sae, she's dead now, isn't she?' Yes, but look at the condition that she's in upon her death: she is encased in stone, fully petrified (and who is the only one we know to wield such power?), and even the dust that abandoned her, is encased overhead (again, a power we see Zhongli wield during the final cutscene in Perilous Trail without barely lifting a finger). What if the only reason that the final moon has not gone out and dark over Teyvat, is because her remains have been tied to the lands by Zhongli himself, who if you ascribe to the theory of Sun-King Zhongli, has even more reason to not let her go?

/munches on a cookie as a little reward for myself for managing to finish all of this semi-coherently, and gives you a cookie for having gotten through all of this.

[hood-ex]

The song evermore like really reminds me of dick and bruce. specifically in that era when dick left to go to college and bruce is just being angsty. i truly don’t think bruce took dick in expecting to love/need him so much and this song reflects that.

Oooh I can see that. Bruce being his dramatic broody self and then Dick comes home to visit from college, and Bruce is like... this pain wouldn't be forevermore..., and Dick's like girl what.

[mossiestpiglet]

Venting here continues to be the solution to my problems, guess who just successfully made and ate TWO (2) whole quesadillas!

[ergowhispers]

so it actually turns out it's time to poke back into bg3.

[safetea]

happy things of the day: the judgies podcast, candy, did a bunch of self care which i only realized afterwards

[shippingmyworld]

anyone wanna come over next week and disassociate from this realty with me next week? if we're lucky we can clip into the berenstein bears universe for a few hours. i'll bring the snacks

[sherlocked-hobbit-in-gallifrey]

the videos from the mcr shows this weekend are making me so emotjonal aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa