#I keep reminding myself that there are 100 rooms and each room has at minimum 2 passengers

[otherpeoplescreativity]

I'm back home after a trip on the Galactic Starcruiser, and I have a lot of post-vacation Rejection Sensitivity going on.

I had a wonderful time. I know this. I wrote it down.

But today, I feel sad. And inadequate. And like I made that trip harder on the Cast Members and my fellow travelers; I should have done so much better. I should have been so much more fun.

I want to go back in time to that moment when I could have prevented some of my current physical disabilities. I want to yank my personal timeline into a healthier direction.

I want to write an enthusiastically appreciative letter to every one of the CMs.

I want to stop being allergic to Florida.

I want to go on a Starcruise again, but prepare correctly this time and do it properly this time.

...

I gotta get my body to recover from two days in a motor vehicle. I gotta go get my flu shot and my plague booster. I gotta prepare to drive half a continent away to help out extended family for three days, and then drive back the way I came.

[marvelmadam08]

Meanwhile, In Quarantine...

Part of 100 Days of Marvel

Prompt 7: Well which is it? I’m getting nervous. // Prompt 79: You just ignored rule one through five. // Prompt 39: We’re gonna die here. // Prompt 11: I remind myself murder, even attempted, is illegal.

A/N: I’m on day seven or nine (honestly I lost count) of my quarantine, and I am slowly loosing my mind. Then I thought ‘What would the Avengers do during this quarantine?

~~~~~

One Week Earlier

“Miss (Y/N), Mr. Stark is calling for a mandatory team meeting in the common area.” Friday announces to you, interrupting your workout

“Right now?” you huffed out

“Yes, he says it’s urgent.”

You were the last to show up, annoyed and sweaty. Nat seemed to be the only other one who looked as annoyed as you, with her hair wrapped in a towel. Bucky, Sam and Steve lounged on the couch, while Clint was sharpening his arrows. Wanda and Vision stood off to the side to themselves. Thor sat next to Peter, who was hunched over his homework and Bruce stood next to Tony by the muted television displaying the news.

“Everyone here?” Tony pointed to everyone “Good, well I’m not sure if you all heard about this whole ‘virus’ that’s going around.”

“The Coronavirus?” Steve asked

“That’s the one,” Bruce nods “there have been a few cases popping up throughout the city, as well as the country, and within the next few days the entire country is going to be on mandatory quarantine.”

“Quarantine?” Peter spoke up “Like we can’t leave the country?”

“No, as in you can’t leave your house. And that includes The Compound and Tower as well.”

The room erupted in numerous hisses of disagreement. 

“Half of us don’t even need to be in quarantine.” Nat stated loudly

“Yeah, stupid super soldiers.” you muttered

“That’s uncalled for.” Bucky gave you a stink eye 

“Doesn’t matter, we’re being order by the government and Fury to stay put.” Tony tells you all “Parker, I’m only gonna say this once, you to stay put. No school, no parties, no dates.”

“But here at The Compound would be more ideal, seeing as it’s away from the city.” Bruce adds softly

“So we’re stuck here?” Wanda asks “For how long?”

“Well they say the quarantine could last between two weeks to two months.”

“Well which is it? I’m getting nervous.” Sam unmuted the TV

‘....stores have already begun to run out of water, toilet paper, and even baby wipes...’

Day 1

You, Wanda and Laura (Clint’s wife) were organizing the last of the quarantine supplies. Clint couldn’t stomach the idea of not being with them during the whole pandemic, so he asked to bring them up until everything blew over.

“Okay so the kitchen is fully stocked, all the cleaning supplies are put away.” Wanda sighed “It’s kind of scary, how everyone is reacting out there.”

“Yeah, I had to wrestle some hand sanitizer from some grown woman wearing a face mask and rubber gloves.” Laura admits

“I wish I could’ve seen that, since you had Nate strapped to your chest.” 

“Speaking of, I should go check on him.” 

Just as Laura walked out, Steve, Bucky and Peter walked in with large pizzas in their hands.

“This is the last of take out for the next few weeks. Enjoy it while it lasts.” Steve tells us

Everyone swarmed for their chosen slices before gravitating towards the TV to get an update on the quarantine. You were instructed to stay inside, only to leave unless it was absolutely necessary, and then return back to respective homes. Keep your contact with other people down to a minimum, and overall to sanitize and wash often. 

“This is what I do on a regular basis.” Bucky scoffed

“Same.” Wanda and Nat chimed in

“This is gonna be so cool, like one big party.” Peter clapped

A few of the other groaned at Peter’s optimism.

“The kid is right,” Tony agreed “most times we’re on missions for weeks at a time. How is this any different?”

“He does make a point.” Vision nods “And surely there’s enough room for everyone to find their own thing.”

Day 4

You glared at Bucky, who was tapping his pen against his teeth, while trying to figure out the crossword puzzle in front of him. You were trying to do silent yoga, silent being the key word.

“Barnes, can you stop that?” you said through your teeth

“Stop what?” he paused

“Tapping the pen on your teeth.”

“It helps me think. Why aren’t you in the gym?”

“Because I can’t take Steve and Nat talking smack when they spar each other. And Sam is playing his music too loud, and his room is next to mine.”

“And it’s the tapping that bothers you?”

“Forget it.” you closed you eyes again and worked on tuning Bucky out

Tony hurried in, scanning around the room “Has anyone seen Parker? I can’t find him and neither can his aunt. (Y/L/N)?”

“Shh, doing silent yoga.” You hushed “And no, I haven’t.”

“He left.” Clint spoke from above the rest of you. There was a small whirling noise, and metal scrapping against more metal, then Clint and his daughter poked their head out from the vent above us.

“What do you mean he left?”

“He said something about building a death star.” The younger Barton, Lila, answered

“Friday, override and track the kid’s phone for me.” 

“Of course Mr. Stark.”

Tony turned his attention to the TV, tapping on his phone and started to call Peter over video. At this point you gave up on silent yoga and just laid out on the mat. Peter’s face popped up on the screen but he wasn’t looking at his phone 

“Trust me, they don’t even know I’m gone.” he told someone off screen 

“Hello Mister Parker.” Tony waves

“Mr. Stark!” He hurried to pick up his phone “Hey, hi... um that’s so funny I was just about to come down to the lab, from my room.... which is where I am.... right now.”

“Oh you’re in your room? Not at Ned’s place building legos?”

He paused “No? I just got so bored! And there were so many rules to just stay in.”

“There were six rules max, and you just ignored rule one through five!”

“Are you sure he’s not your kid?” you chuckled

Day 7

“Twenty-three bottles of pop on the wall.” Sam half sung, eyelids closed, while rocking Nate to sleep

Steve and Bucky were each cuddling a plush stuffed animal on the floor. Morgan ran back and forth between poking Steve with a wooden spoon and the spot where she had a pile of cookies waiting on a plate. And Lila and Cooper were on their phones, headphones in, and not paying attention to their surroundings.

“What the hell you guys?” Nat groaned

“Ooh Auntie Nat said a bad word.” Morgan giggled

“Hey Monster.”

“Auntie (Y/N)!” Morgan jumped over Bucky and ran over to climb up your side until she reached your shoulders. “Guess what, I got to have cookies and chicken nuggets, gummies and a bunch of soda.”

“Nat? (Y/N)?” Bucky lifted his head from the floor, a flattened gummy beard on the other side of his cheek “Please tell me the others are back too.”

“On the contrary, Clint and Tony wanted to know if you wouldn’t mind watching the kids a little while longer.” Nat went to relieve Sam from baby duty “Tony talked to the mayor and got her to extend the quarantine curfew for their double date night.”

The three men groaned, you swore you saw a tear in Steve’s eye.

“We’re gonna die here.” Sam curled into a ball 

“Why did we agree to babysit?” Steve spoke into the stuffed penguin he held 

“Nat, maybe we should help them out.” You held Morgan tightly while she flipped upside down from your shoulders “They’re only men.”

“When the Earth spins, how do we know when we’re upside down?” Morgan poked you in the back 

“Tell you what, clean up your mess, we’ll go get in our pj’s and then I’ll tell you.” you carefully set her back down on the floor, she ran off, picking up her toys and stray snacks 

“Coop, Lila, your homework better be done, because if I have to check myself-.” Nat started. 

They jumped up from their seats and rushed out the room, Steve looked up at you and Nat in awe, Nate fast asleep in her arms.

“How did you-”

“We have a way with kids, don’t take it personally.” 

“Done!” Morgan cheered before pulling at your arm “Can we get in our pj’s now?”

Nat chuckled “Let’s go princess, (Y/N) will meet us there. You can help me get Nate ready for bed.”

Morgan took Nat’s free hand and skipped along side her. You took the stuffed animals and blankets from the guys.

“How did four children manage to out-do two super soldiers and a former air force vet?” you asked

“They’re small, but stealthy.” Sam yawned “Morgan has been asking us that spinning Earth question for hours.”

“I tried to explain how the Earth rotates but she told me I was wrong.” Bucky added

“Oh, it’s a joke. How do you know when the Earth turned upside down?” you paused, waiting for one of them to guess the answer “Fall time.”

Day 12

“What is this called again?” Thor points to Peter’s phone screen

“Twitter.” 

“Twitter? Like the sound a bird makes? Oh and there’s a symbol of a bird there.” he laughed “Humans are so creative. Tell me Son of Stark, what is Twitter’s purpose?”

“Uh.... basically you just post whatever’s on your mind.” Peter handed over his phone to Thor “Sometimes people will like it, and retweet it, or leave a comment.”

“Please tell me you didn’t make Thor a Twitter page.” You spared a glance from your book

“He asked me to show him. What’s the worse that could happen?”

One Hour Later

“Who gave Thor a Twitter page?” Steve marched into the kitchen

You immediately point to Peter.

“He wanted to know about social media. I didn’t think it’d do any harm.” Peter blurted out

“What did he do?” You asked

“He keeps posting.” Steve scrolled through the tablet in his hand “Things like ’What is black twitter?’, ‘poptarts and coffee’, ‘Just noticed how Director Fury sounds like the freeze man in this Disney movie’, ‘Over heard Natasha and Wanda judging who had the best ass. Barnes or Rogers. Clearly it’s me’ He’s trending.”

“Steve it’s harmless fun, he’s excited to be apart of Midgard culture.” you dismissed “Or are you upset because you weren’t voted for the best bum?”

“You should see his latest, and most liked, tweet.” Steve handed the tablet to you with a smirk

“‘Pretty sure (Y/N) and Barnes are dating. How else do you explain their sexual tension?’ I’m gonna kill you Parker.” You went to grab Peter but Steve pulled you away at the last second

“You don’t mean that.” Peter started to back out of the kitchen “Do you?”

“Who gave Thor a Twitter?” Bucky spoke from the other room

“I can give you a ten second head start.” Steve warns Peter

Day 15

“I can’t take this anymore, no missions, no take out, I can’t even go get a freaking smoothie.” You paced from one end of your room to the other “I thought this thing was only suppose to be two weeks.”

“Well Tony said two weeks or two months.” Bucky lounged on your bed, playing with the rubic’s cube “Looks like it’s gonna be two months.”

“How are you staying calm?”

“I remind myself murder, even attempted, is illegal. Plus I’ve been in isolation most of my adult life, so this doesn’t seem so bad.”

“Right.” you said softly “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’m complaining about being stuck in here, for my health when you’ve had it way worse.”

“Hey,” he caught your hand and pulled you closer “Don’t apologize, I know you didn’t mean any harm. And you tend to get cabin fever when we go on long surveillance missions. These next few days are gonna fly by, trust me.”

He trailed his hands up and down your arms, traveling to your waist and under your shirt.

“Uh-huh Barnes, not again.” you pulled away slightly “Vision and Wanda almost caught us last time.”

“Because you weren’t quiet.” he kissed up your torso

“No, because you dragged me into a linen closet for wearing shorts.”        

Bucky gave you a small pout “I’m from the 1940′s doll, I fantasized about your calves when I first met you. And that we’re... is this considered dating or are we just messing around during the lock down?”

“I hope this means we’re dating.” you combed his hair back with your fingers “I’m not the kind of girl that you hump and dump.”

“Hump and what?”

You chuckled “Nevermind.” You straddled his waist, he gripped yours a little tighter “So Sergeant, you gonna take me on a date after this quarantine?”

“I’ll take you to Rome as long as you keep calling me ‘Sergeant’ doll.” he left soft kisses on your neck

“Mmm.” 

“(Y/N).” Steve knocked on your door “Have you seen Bucky? I’m looking for him.”

“Nope, haven’t seen him.” Bucky pulled your shirt over your head, and tried to add to the bite marks he left the other day, but Steve wasn’t letting up.

“You know where he might be?”

You rolled your eyes and made Bucky stop “Have you checked the garage?”

“Why would he be in the garage?”

“Steve, pal, can it wait?” Bucky shouted “I kinda got my hands full in here.”

“Oh.” You could only imagine how red Steve’s face was at that moment. 

“You are horrible James Barnes.” you giggled

“Sergeant.” he corrected you in a low growl

“Sergeant.” you brought your lips down to his, quickly fighting for dominance in the kiss. Bucky flipped you over, the bed squeaking under your shared weight

“Uh- should I go now?” Steve asked

[firepiplup]

How do i say no to people

You know that analogy about people with adhd having spoons for energy management or whatever? My spoons are on backorder from like 2 months ago and more got on that list now

The problem is that all of the things I'm being asked to do are Very Important Things

I have to feed my diabetic cat. This in itself is not a problem, however she's needs to eat at a specific time (12 hour spacing) and my current sleeping situation along with work do not allow this to happen consistently. Currently trying for 7:30, we'll see how it goes

My apartment has bedbugs, and there's no way in fucking hell I'm sleeping on my living room floor until my scumlord landlord actually gets the guy to come back to spray because he did spray but I'm still seeing adults and i "need to give the spray time to work" it's been fucking 2 weeks i don't know how is supposed to work but i feel like after 2 weeks whatever spray you did isn't going to get any stronger i just want to sleep in my own bed it's been like this since fucking March

With that part explained, I'm sleeping at my mom's house on the other side of town. This in itself isn't much of a problem, however as "payment" i have to take care of her dog in the morning, to practice because she's going on a week long vacation in October and none of her dogs can just be taken care of like normal dogs. He needs to wear a diaper to leave the room while i pick up his shit and soiled weewee pad and mop the floor, give him some time to be out of his room, and then feed him his special food mix. The other dog has allergies and probably will get into something he shouldn't, then not use the bathroom outside even though he literally has a doggy door that has constant access to the backyard. Neither dog get along with each other, which is why they are separated. Thank fuck the cat is just normal, this is why i prefer them

Now with THAT explained, it's difficult to take care of my own cat on time in the morning. But as the legendary Billy Mays says: But wait, there's more!

I just got rehired at my job working in a local understaffed pizzeria. My friend, ego also works there, is on vacation (good for her, she deserves it, absolutely no negativity towards her) so i have acquired her hours. So i now work 6 days a week, kinda sorta clopen but i guess it's more of opelose. Or a combination of both? Idk. The point here is, I'm then dealing with essentially running half a restaurant alone 6 days a week, with it not being 7 purely because the owner himself ALSO has the same work schedule as far as I'm aware, and wanted to give himself a day off, and since we are so understaffed it would be impossible unless we literally closed. My tasks include answering the phone, washing dishes, making sandwiches, making dinners, folding pizza boxes, and cleaning the tables/equipment on that side of the restaurant. So essentially everything except making pizzas, cleaning the pizza area, mopping in general, and driving. We generally close at 9, 10 on Friday and Saturday. Guess who was explicitly rehired to close those days? Guess how that's going to work with me having to be home around 7:30 to take care of my own cat? I have no idea either. It's only for about 3 weeks, but my mom, whom i have not asked for any additional help with anything, won't feed the cat while i have work, even though there isn't a guarantee that i can leave on time to THEN RETURN to close, because again I'm the only one on that side of the building. I understand the fear of the bedbugs, so that's probably it, but it still fucking sucks because the kitchen is on the other side of the apartment from the bedroom and there is literally no reason to go there to feed her. But i get it

Did we get to where i can do my own ADLs? Of course not. My neighbor is in the hospital, and her husband is blind. This is a new development that was only discovered an hour before starting this post (about 3:30 am for me). She's ok, it's for mental health reasons, and that's her own business about that. Her husband being blind is not a new development however. And he needs help taking care of the pets, specifically the birds. Which is fine, they just also need to eat on their own schedule. 8am, around lunchtime, and 8pm. Guess who's still at work? One of the birds is special needs because her beak got injured and needs to be essentially spoon fed. Which the blind husband can't do at all. Fairly simple task, but just adding to my obligations that are Very Important because they involve making sure things don't starve to death while my neighbor is in Crisis

Ok let's see, that's 4 Very Important Tasks/Obligations, and only one was originally my own voluntary one. Still not at taking care of myself yet, but i have my shelter, i have my job ("part time" minimum wage, hurray. Part time because even with me being there 6 fucking days a week open to close it still isn't technically enough hours for the state to recognize it as full time), and I'm taking care of *counting* about 8 pets for the next week. Will unemployment give me my money that I've been claiming since March? No? Will they let me claim with my new working hours that makes that while process even harder? Technically but it'll take over an hour for it to process and it doesn't even do that in the end? Well fuck, guess i have to wait to get paid on the books in cash and beg for a hand written paystub and have my hours worked written down. Glad i earned $100 this week, i hope now that my hours have increased i get some more

Next on the list, appointments. Because I'm a dumbass who can't remember shit if it isn't consistently recurring, i overbooked myself for next week. My much needed therapy appointment with my therapist that I've only met once and is the replacement for my much better therapist that i actually had a relationship with is supposed to have a session with me on Tuesday. Will i remember to do it this time? Possibly since i actually remembered it's on Tuesday. Will she send me the reminder text with the zoom link? Probably not. Wednesday, my one day off, thank fuck for that, is the main problem with the scheduling. My med appointment is for 11:30. Cool, can do. Driving lesson at 12. Oh, that's a little close, but i can manage that probably. I only average 1 lesson per year and a half, so it's fine, it's "healthy" to be nervous about operating a death machine powered by explosions. Have to go to social services to pick up, or attempt to, a new food stamps card. They probably close at 5, and add a Non Driver, i need to rely on someone to take me. The sooner the better, but it can't be during the lesson. Don't forget to take care of the creatures before and during all of this.

Ok. Great. There's an hour before work. Time to shower, because it's so fucking hot I'll be sweating like crazy by the time i get around the corner to the pizzeria, with me literally getting out and dressed and then walking out the door. Glad i finally did still to take care of myself. Eating? I might have something i can heat up quickly while the cat eats and so i can take my own meds. Dishes? Those are going to have to wait, i hope the heat wave doesn't get too bad, but it's been like this for a while, still slowly chipping away at them. Sleep? Severe insomnia. I partially blame the bed, my mattress is so comfortable, i hope the bedbugs like it because i can't fucking use it right now. I'd be sleeping so fucking soundly if i were in my own bed, and yet here i am. Maybe i should take the Trazodone now. I just hope I'll wake up on time. Oh look I'm exhausted, can't afford to buy comparatively better prepared coffee from Dunkin, so i guess my shitty at home coffee is going to have to do. Black because i don't have any creamer or milk or lactose free milk in my house. Just the way i hate it. Gonna have to deal with that i guess, maybe I'll learn to like it

The coffee pot lives in my fridge now. I'm worried to put it with the other dishes because if it sits there, not being washed like everything else, then i won't even have the option of coffee. It's just water and ground up beans, I'm sure it's fine

Maybe i can find some kind of coping skill/hobby to help me through my limited me time. Let's see.... I like to crochet, and that helps me get through the dishes by letting me alternate between them and a row/round on one of my many started projects. What? It's in a giant garbage bag with a bedbug treatment stick because of the damn ass bedbugs? Can't open it for at least another week and even then there isn't a place to put the yarn safely? Well fuck. I found that really helpful with keeping me grounded. Umm, well looking online, i should *checks notes* buy new yarn in the meantime and keep it somewhere safe. Uh, well, i can't afford more yarn now and i have nowhere to put it. Videogames it is maybe? Oh fuck now I've hyper focused too long on pokemon, rhythm heaven, and whatever daily games i do, i think i have 5 of those of varying lengths of time spent on them

Did i remember to brush my teeth? No. Do i remember that i should and then when i get out of the shower so i forget to actually execute? Yes. Have i gone insane? Probably

How many spoons is a person supposed to have per day? It takes more for me just to get through the day in general. Why does everyone need me to do their Very Important Tasks? Why is there never anyone else? Can my neighbor just not buy more birds when she gets home from Crisis?

I just want to have good mental health, why is this so hard

[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

I don’t trust myself when I’m around you.

FF.Net & AO3

-

Daphne can’t seem to stop biting her lip.

Barely even registering the sting until Freddie so kindly points out that her lip is bleeding; she manages to brush this off as being caused by the damn avalanche she survived just a few days ago.

She is currently lounging on the couch in the living room of the house the four of them share, the aforementioned blond sitting beside her.

He’s been spending the past couple of days since they arrived home trying to track down the love of his life, whom he was forced to part with in a garage sale. Daph didn’t see much point in reminding him that they had a perfectly fine stick shift sitting in their garage right now. The whole clutch/emergency brake fiasco has left him bitter.

Velma had only emerged from the home office maybe twice all day - both of those times being Shaggy forcing her to eat something before the wind blew her away.

Shag and Scoob had been known to just set up shop in the kitchen for most of the day. Saved a lot of back and forth from their bedroom to the fridge. Scooby had already somehow opened the door and was dragging out any leftover that was in sight. 

Shag, on the other hand, was sitting at the kitchen table staring down at his hands.

Which was enough to tell Daph that his mind was racing.

All of this business with Vincent had dredged up bad memories for the both of them. The second Daphne laid her head down on her own pillow her mind was instantly plagued with the thought, “The 13th Ghost is still out there...”

And at that point Daph had abandoned the idea of sleep.

She can’t speak for Shag but she’s certain she’s seen the kitchen light on until the wee hours of the morning.

But this isn’t the thing that affects Daphne the most; she’d spent almost nine years thinking about that 13th ghost they never found. The thing that bothered Daphne was the feelings she had buried for nearly a decade.

-

She was in the dark, falling yet floating at the same time, never reaching the ground.

Someone was calling her name and she could hear the urgency in their voice, the worry. 

Something rough and wet ran up her cheek and she was immediately back in the light, taking in a deep gulp of air. That worried voice calling her name let out a relived chuckle and placed a large hand on her shoulder, helping her sit up.

That was the first time Daphne had ever seen Shaggy cry on her behalf.

Not even turning into a werewolf and chasing him down the tunnels brought tears to his eyes.

She hadn’t forgotten any of it. Every little detail about that moment was imprinted in her mind and it was all telling her one thing. 

‘He cares for you.’

‘You care for him.’

And the second that realization came to her, Daphne pushed it back to the furthest corner of her mind - praying that she’d forget all about it.

She wasn’t very good at doing that.

It didn’t take her all but a few hours to have her fingers tangled up in his hair while hoping that no canines or con-children or warlocks barged in on them. 

For those few, blissful, months Daphne was absolutely giddy.

Every waking moment was spent with the boy she now knows she also cares about a great deal. Due to the constant entourage, physical contact was kept at a minimum; but even without the touching Daphne’s heart was full. Every time they did so much as hold eye contact for longer than five seconds she felt like her chest was about to burst.

‘What is this?’

She’d ask herself, already knowing damn well what it was.

But then the stress started to press down on them, and they found themselves being overwhelmed by the nightmares. No amount of embracing or kissing could calm it down. 

They practically got down on their knees and begged Vincent to just let it be over, they were just kids and they couldn’t take it anymore.

Perhaps he saw how broken they had become, already fragile to begin with.

But when they returned to Coolsville, Daphne didn’t get the happy boyfriend and girlfriend lifestyle she had been dreaming of since she first kissed him.

Instead, he locked himself up in his room and didn’t seem interested in talking. 

Not to her.

Not to his family.

Not even to Scooby.

Fred and Velma didn’t return from their camps for another several weeks.

Still, Daph kept calling, nearly everyday. His family had gotten well acquainted with her over the phone, always having to softly tell her that Shaggy wasn’t up to leaving his bed at the moment.

Which was every moment.

Of every day.

During this time boys would ask her out on dates, and while most of her wanted to say no, her prime reason for saying no wasn’t speaking to her.

So she spent her summer bowling and roller skating and eating Italian food, only to return home late at night and cry when the boy she wanted still wouldn’t come to the phone.

It was two weeks until summer came to a close when Shag’s mom said, “Oh yes he’s right here.... Norville! Daphne Blake’s on the line!”

“....Hi...”

The moment she heard his voice her heart nearly popped out of her chest.

“Shags!!! Oh my gosh I’ve been so worried about you!!”

She hears a soft chuckle and the corners of her lips go straight up; that chuckle outshines any date she went on in the past two months.

“Like, I’ve just been strapped to my bed at the ol’ Rogers’ Kook House.”

“Do - do you uh..... Do you wanna go get some burgers? Last week Ricky McMasters took me to this new little joint that make these cool veggie burgers.”

“Are you for real?”

“100% sweetheart.”

The excitement in his voice is causing her face and ears to go warm.

“Sign me the hell up!”

And so they met at the restaurant and ordered, they talked and laughed and Daphne found herself hardly touching her food.

It was when she made a grab for his hand that things finally went wrong.

He dodged, locking eyes with her as his cheeks went red

“Shag.. wha- what’s wrong?”

She schooches her chair closer.

He moves his further back.

And then he looks down at his hands on the table.

It’s silent for a few moments and Daph realizes she’s absolutely terrified.

Mainly because she knows what’s about to happen.

After he sucks in a deep breath he begins, still looking down at the table, “”Daph... those months we spent... together were some of the best months of my life.” Daphne smiles.

“Same here.”

He licks his lips before continuing, “And, during all of that I was convinced I was ready. Ready to stop holding my breath and just love you.”

Her heartbeat drops to her stomach. How long was he in love with her? How long was she in love with him?

Shag’s fingers begin to clench around the tablecloth, “Vincent was promising us that he’d take care of the last ghost and all I could think was that I got a whole summer left to be with you.” She wants to say ‘Me too.” But doesn’t wanna interrupt him.

“But then,” His voice is going soft  and she can tell he’s trying to be gentle, “When we did finally get home the nightmares didn’t stop. The fear that something was out there and after me - after you - didn’t go away.”

Finally, he brings his gaze up to her and those brown eyes leave her so weak, “How could I deal with all of this, cope with and get it under control and love you at the same time? I’m seventeen for fucks sake. I still brake at a yellow light and get an allowance.”

Suddenly, she get’s it.

All those dates and all that crying had been her “coping” of sorts but had she really gotten anywhere waiting day after day for Shag to pick up the phone?

He can probably see the tears welling in her eyes because he leans forward to whisper, “Just.... give me some time. Could be a week could be a month, hell, it could be a year but maybe when I’m ready... we can try this again. Without ending up as each other’s therapy dogs.”

She giggles and feels a tear roll down her cheek, “Yeah, “ she sniffles, “I’d like that.”

-

Now she was leaning over him as he tapped his fingers against the hard wood of the table.

“Having fun?” She says softly, he looks up at her with a smirk.

“Just peachy Miss Blake.”

“Well I am just glad to hear that.” She pulls out a chair and chuckles as their banter picks up an exaggerated Southern drawl.

They sit there for what seems like forever just giggling and looking at each other before Daph musters up the bravery to break the quiet, “Nine years huh?”

And even though it is the most cryptic and simple phrase, Shag’s face goes beet red and she know he understands what she’s saying. Because only Shaggy Rogers could understand something as basic as two words implying so much more. It’s then that Daphne knows shoving those feelings down to the back of her mind hadn’t stopped a thing.

If anything, they’ve grown, matured and are much more powerful.

Maybe sixteen year old her had wanted to only wait a week but now she was thankful to have grown into this love she holds for him

Now she wonders if he’d let her kiss him, and would she ever bother to come up for air? 

Or would she just let herself suffocate, only able to comprehend the shape of him?

He rubs the back of his neck, acutely aware of her biting her lip, “It’s funny... like before all this craziness with Farmer Morgan I was gonna ask you if you wanted to go to that same burger place again. Like, they’ve got a whole menu of veggie burgers now.  I hear they have one that’s just a stuffed mushroom! Doesn’t that sound fucking extraordinary?!”

As his eyes begin to sparkle and his lips flap, blabbing on about food, Daphne reaches up and grabs either side of his face, bringing them nose to nose.

He lets out a soft gasp, Daph’s heartbeat is pounding around in her head, “If I say yes, will you finally kiss me?”

His face is red again and she is 100% sure her’s is even worse.

“Keep in mind I will say yes regardless of what you-”

Shaggy doesn’t even let her finish the sentence, only letting give out a soft “Mmph!” in surprise.

Nine years in the making and Daphne can definitely say it was worth the wait. 

[joannie95]

Legacy- Part 7

Pairing: Carter! reader x ?????

Summary:  Everyone knows Peggy Carter is a force to be reckoned with, who cold have guessed her granddaughter would hold the same ferocity, if not more.This story follows y/n Carter’s life as she faces the obstacles life pitches her.

Warnings: None

A/N: Its finally time. shes really gonna do it

Peggy watches with amusement as the two girls looked purely terrified. 

“How- w-when…- “Darcy stutters out before giving up “totally busted.”

“you are indeed, totally busted.” Your grandmother replies, but there is no hint of anger in her voice or stance. No sign of disbelief or frustration, no yelling or gritted teeth. That’s when it hits you.

“You wanted me to find the journals.” you breathe out.

 “That’s an odd assumption- “

“oddly right. Those journals held things that would be dangerous in some hands, you’d never just toss them in a box, let alone the top box that wasn’t sealed shut. “You accuse her

A large grin appears on her face “it took you long enough- “

“oh, what the hell.” Darcy mumbles “this entire time you knew- you couldn’t have just handed her the journals Peg !?” She throws her arms up in frustration. 

“To shield and the worlds knowledge, those journals don’t exist. The information within them”

“is extremely dangerous in the wrong hands. I’m aware.”  you stare at her “I need to know the formula for Nitramene.” You bluntly state, 

 your grandmothers’ eyes slightly widen “Nitramene was discontinued after Howard-”

“as far as shield was concerned it was, but I know that didn’t stop my parents or Howard.”

 Darcy watches the staring competition between the two carters, heart racing as you slightly challenged your grandmother 

“Nitramene won’t fit well with your toxin extraction, you can find a simpler way-”

“what about for a super soldier serum process? I think it’d fit pretty well there.”

 “It’s prohibited to - “

“I took it more as a suggestion not to try, but Carters aren’t really known for following the rules, are they Agent Carter?”  You smirk at her knowingly. 

   “You’re definitely a Carter.” She mumbles, running a hand down her face in defeat. “If shield discovers what you’re doing- “

“I’ve already covered all my footprints.  Falsified my blueprints of the chamber to match the toxin project, everything lines up to be hidden perfectly Grandma. All I need is the Nitramene. “ 

 You slowly approach her, gently taking her hand in yours “I’m so close to- “

“creating something that could get you killed. Something that could cost others their lives if it falls into the wrong hands - “

“something that could change the world. Did you think I didn’t weight the outcomes for this? That I’d be reckless enough to even leave any room for chaos?” 

 She sighs squeezing your hand in hers “Nitramene is extremely sensitive, it cannot be thrown about, it can’t even risk to be shaken. It’s highly explosive - “

 You smirk knowingly at her” you have it, don’t you?”

“Howard destroyed every piece of evidence connected to it. Only a few vials of it exist- “

“are you going to make me go on a treasure hunt for it? Because I’m pretty positive it’s in this house-

“calm down Nancy Drew and let me speak.” She glares at you, then at Darcy when she laughs 

“is the chamber built?”

“not yet -“

“I’m not releasing it into your hands until you complete it, then you will go right from here to your lab and begin the experiment. Are we clear? No one is to know - “

“it’s being conducted in the middle of the night, I’ve already figured out how to bypass the security check in and hack into my security cameras to replay footage instead of recording at the time.  There will be no evidence, no traceable date, everything is covered with the project they actually assigned me to.”

“Very well. Go on and finish this, just… make sure whoever you chose for this - “

“there’s nothing to worry about Peg, I think she made a great choice.” Darcy butts in, smiling at you with a wink.

“oh lord.” Your grandmother mutters “I’ll be waiting.” 

“you won’t be waiting long gram.”  You kiss her cheek 

“I didn’t think I would be.  You’re too brilliant for your own good. “

“I wouldn’t be a Carter if I wasn’t.” 

 It only took a day to assemble the chamber, Coulson delivered the vibranium a few hours prior, leaving it in a sealed container on your shelf. The Only missing piece being the Nitramene. You wipe away the sweat on your forehead as you drop down to sit on the floor, tools scattered around you and Darcy laying herself across your lab table, 

“you could have helped.” 

“watching you work is… impressing. But it exhausts me just watching, I’d probably pass out from exhaustion if you actually made me do something. Gotta save my energy anyway.” 

 You roll your eyes at her answer, laying yourself on the floor and letting your eyes flutter shut for a moment “you know I don’t trust anyone else to do this with me, right?” 

“I’d be offended if you did.” She throws a pen at you, cheering when it bounces off your forehead “c’mon, let’s get outta here. We got a couple hours to kill before shit goes down.” 

 And the countdown begins. 

 2 am rolls around, you find yourself on your grandmothers’ doorstep, before even knocking the door flings open. Peggy rushing you inside and leading you toward her bedroom, then into her bathroom. You watch silently as she goes to her shelf of various perfumes, when she turns you see a small bottle in her grasp.

As she gets closer, you pick out a small shape among the liquid, tethered by what looks to be a few strings holding it suspended in the center of the small bottle.

“I cannot strain the importance of keeping this bottle steady y/n. When you remove it from the bottle use these - “she turns back, retrieving a pair of tongs “do it slowly and cautiously when you remove it and place it in. Make sure it’s safely sealed into the compartment you designed to contain it, otherwise - “

“grandma, I can do this.” 

 You’re not sure if you’re reassuring her, or yourself at this point. 

She nods as you gently take the bottle from her hands. She escorts you back to the front door, smiling as she cups your cheek 

“I am incredibly proud of you - “

“For all we know this could fail gran- “

“but it won’t. Do not underestimate your intelligence darling. Good luck, I expect a call in the morning.” She kisses your forehead before sending you on your way.  

You and Darcy sneak into the SHIELD facility, avoiding the halls you know has guards. It’s a lot less stressful since you already hacked into the cameras and began rolling the pre-taped footage. 

 Stepping into your lab, you go right in to work mode. You press a few buttons, smiling when the chamber emerges from the wall, in the hidden false wall your mother left details for in her notes. She installed it herself, there a few more, but you haven’t had a chance to explore those just yet. 

“What do you think your grandmas going to do when she finds out you’re the one taking the serum?” Darcy asks 

That’s the golden question “I’m going to pray that she’s thrilled - “Darcy scoffs “shut up, it’s a 50/50 chance she could be totally ecstatic!”

“Or totally homicidal! I aided you in this! She’ll kill me too!”

You laugh” don’t worry about her, well deal with it when that wave comes - “

“she’s a fucking hurricane, not a little wave. Have you ever met your grandmother?!?”

You shrug her off and get to work, setting up the necessary laptops, open the correct container and finally pop open the actual chamber. Darcy watches in silence and panic as you slowly fill each tiny tube with the serum. The liquid a mesmerizing shade of blue, while the Nitramene sits on the counter, holding a bright orange hue. 

 You adjust everything into its place, cringing when you remember about all the needles necessary to inject the serum.  It’ll only hurt for a second. If Steve Rogers could do it, so can I.  You set your lab to sound proof, and apply the blackout feature to your glass walls, just in case. 

“Alright D, I wrote the directions down and tacked it to the table right in front of where you’re going to be, but I’m gonna go over it verbally for you. “

She nods, following you to her position 

“I’m going to get myself ready, then deposit the Nitramene. It will be stable for roughly 5 minutes, before it becomes a hazard. As soon as I step foot into the chamber hit this button” you point to the large green button labeled ‘1!’. “Immediately after those doors shut, hit the red one” pointing to the one labeled ‘2!’,” it motorizes the spider leg looking things that inject the serum, the light at the top of the chamber will turn blue when it’s all administered, and you’ll see the tubes emptied. once the light is red, hit the other red button- “you point to the ‘3! Just a few more D!’  Labeled button “it initiates the Nitramene, allowing minimum oxygen to infuse into its compartment and sparks the energy just enough for the chamber. You have to move quickly to this lever, - “now you’re in front of a yellow handled lever attached to a small laptop on a small table beside the chamber, wires running it to the chamber, ‘almost done babe #4’. “ This entire screen will turn blue when you need to pull it down the first time-“

“the first time?! “ 

“you nod, it goes by 10% notches of power each time, you have to do it slowly. All that radiation at once would kill me. I placed a note beside the laptop to remind you of the timing. After every notch, the timer in the corner will count down 20 seconds, when it hits 0, you move the lever another notch. Keep

your eyes on the timer. When you hit 100%, as soon as it’s finished it’ll shut itself off, and the doors will pop open.”

 When you finally look at her, you see the concern written clearly on her face. You take her hands in yours, smiling at her 

“hey, you can do this. I trust you. I wouldn’t have asked you to do this if I didn’t believe you could handle it.”

“your life is going to be in my hands- “

“I trust you.” You repeat. “think of this as doing this the Dugan way. Always a chance of-”

“ending up in the hospital.” She finishes, tightening her grip on your hands before tugging you into a tight embrace. 

 “I love you.” She reminds you as she takes her spot at the first button. You hover over the Nitramene, slowly twisting open the lid, and dipping the retractors into the liquid. The orange glow only brightens as you relieve it from its small prison, the tiny ball brightening the entire lab as you take cautious steps toward the small compartment in the chamber for it. Slow and steady, sloooooow and steadyyy . You lower it in, screwing the cap shut as tight as you can. Releasing your breath as the orange lights up it’s small new home. 

 the clock starts now.

“I love you too. Always Darcy” you lift your shirt over your head 

“woah woah woah! Why are you getting naked!?” She shrieks 

You laugh as you remove all your clothes besides your boy short panties. “I feel like this looks like the beginning of a bad science porno.”

Both of you laugh, the sound dying down as you step in front of the open chamber, your heart rapidly racing.  I can do this, I can-

“you sure about this? That’s a lot of needles - “

“pffft, this is nothing - “your wave her off, praying she doesn’t see your hands shaking “I could do this all day. Oh- “you turn to her one last time “just a heads up, the lights are gonna flicker and I’ll probably scream. Ignore it, and keep going - “

“but- “

“do not stop under any circumstances, got it?”

 She nods “your parents would be proud of you ya know?”

“tell me that after this works.”

 You back up into the chamber, squeezing your eyes shut as the doors close you in. 

 The whirring of the machine is oddly calming, you let your mind wander to Steve Rogers. You’ve seen the pictures of him before the transformation, a handsome man before, and just a little bigger handsome man after. You never doubted how your grandmother fell in love with him, throughout all the stories you’ve heard, you’ve fallen in love with the thought of him. 

 Your thoughts falter as you feel the pierce of all 8 needles over your body, a small yelp emitting from you at the harsh pinch.

That wasn’t so bad.  As the liquid pulses through you, the pain ignites. You take deep breathes, as the you hear the first click of the lever being moved. 

 Heat flares through every inch of you, an uncomfortable pressure swimming over your body. You don’t hear the other clicks, only feel the pressure increasing, your body screaming at the pain spreading through you. 

 You force yourself to distractions, you let images of your parent’s flash through your mind, followed with memories of them, along with your grandma, Darcy, dum dum and Coulson.  Even with the distractions you scream out, your body vibrating from all the energy being radiated into you, bones aching and muscles throbbing.

Please work. Please please please. You mentally repeat as the pain sweeps through your body. Until suddenly, it stops, the sound of the doors popping open startle you. 

 You squint your eyes at the blinding light that floods your vision. On wobbly legs you attempt to step out of the chamber, being caught by two arms as you lose your balance. You look up into Darcy’s watering eyes as she snakes her arm around your waist to help you stand. 

“Well? How do I look?” You weakly ask 

She hands you a baggy black V-neck “you’re huge!” She sees your face drop before beating out laughing “I’m -I’m just kidding! You’re fine! Your muscles a little more defined, and your tits are bigger - wait- “she leans and looks behind you” yep, your ass too. That’s not fair man.”

 “Don’t ever do that again. I almost had a heart attack!” You slip the shirt on before walking over the mirror on the wall.

 You really stayed the same size, your arm and leg muscles just look more defined, like Darcy said, and your eyes widen at your chest, then as you turn to check your ass. 

“Huh, didn’t know it was gonna to do that.” You mutter.  

 You return to Darcy’s side, typing furiously on your tablet,” let’s see how the inside looks.”

“how- oh gross! Is that even sanitary?!” Darcy exclaims as you prick yourself on a fingertip prick you pulled from the box beside the screen and wipe the blood on a clean dish.  You use you tablet to scan your blood, an image of your blood and DNA strands appearing on the screen. You grab a journal from your bag, turning to the page you last marked, an image of Steve Rogers blood and DNA that Howard kept behind Peggy’s back (although she actually knew.)

 You hold his images beside yours, the abnormalities perfectly matching his. 

“we did it.” You whisper, your volume increasing as you spin to Darcy “WE DID IT!! I can’t believe it!” You squeal 

She opens her mouth to speak, except the voice that sounds, doesn’t belong to her 

“Funny, neither can I.” 

Your tablet drops from your hands as the familiar eye patch accompanied by the glare of Nick Fury steps into sight 

Welp,  this is gonna be fun.

Legacy Tags:

@agentmarvel13 @1v-kayla @5sos-wdw @a-dancing-hufflepuff @avngrsinitiative @bradfordsgreekgod @captainam-erika-trash @carisi-sonny @chook007 @daniellajocelyn @ellieababy @futuremissstark @gummiwormsandonedirection @henrietteoaks @hermionie-is-my-queen @ineedmorefanfics @katykyll @littlephoenix-fire @lovemarvelousfics @maddie-laufeyson @moli1497 @paintballkid711 @pastelpurplexoox @sillydecoy @spodermanpete @tienna-laufeyson16  

[this-lioness]

Feeling a little overwhelmed.

The kitchen cabinet doors still need to be done.  This is taking a lot of time because they have to dry pretty thoroughly between each coat, and each one needs 3 coats + a light touch-up.  Then we still have to do the edges. This is not helped by the fact that Marc didn’t sand the primer coat before he started painting the first side (which was supposed to be the “front” of the doors), meaning that with each coat of paint on top all the goopy drips and imperfections became more and more obvious.  So now I’m going super slow on the other side so that it will be nice enough to be the display side.  I’m not mad I’m just disappointed.

We have a gala coming up in two weeks, and I still haven’t sat down to design / paint the mask I’m supposed to use, nor put together any of the little details. We are doing a 5k in a couple more weeks that we are only now starting to “train” for.  I’m less stressed about this than it sounds, but it’s still frustrating.

Both of my parents have birthdays coming up, and an anniversary.  And my stepfather really wants to get back out to the lake in time to see the colors in what he personally considers “prime time”, and I don’t know what the fuck he’s really looking for, because yesterday everything looked beautiful to me? And if I take him too soon he’s going to be disappointed, but if I take him too late he’s also going to be disappointed, and my mother is just 100% disappointed with everything 100% of the time.

Marc asked me about five times what I was planning on doing for my Halloween costume until I was finally like, “I’m just going to wear the “candy witch” costume I have up in the closet.  And I think he’s disappointed, because he loves Halloween (so do I!) but I just do not have the bandwidth to come up with and assemble a costume this year, just to stand around and hand out candy to kids, and also it’s going to rain on Halloween. I sense he’s disappointed that I’m not as “into it” as in previous years.

I am excited for the holidays, but can I just express how much I hate the huge pile of empty decor boxes that sits behind the couch for 3+ months until they’re all over?  I fucking hate living around the clutter of holiday decorations PLUS the clutter of the boxes that the decorations are stored in.

We also still haven’t done the photo for our Christmas card this year, and we need to get on that SOON.  Not only does the photo need to be staged, but we need to be sure we have our outfits, and then there is a LOT of digital editing that needs to be done afterwards.  Like a good couple hours, at least.

I also have 4+ design commissions that I haven’t even STARTED on!  And I’m running out of things to tell these people that aren’t, “I PHYSICALLY CANNOT.”

Oh hi, Thanksgiving is also coming up.  His Mom will be coming over the night before, and my mother is pretty much only able to eat liquids and gruel, and then afterwards we like to be “those people” and go out for Black Friday.  I NEED to have the kitchen done before all this.

Because the kitchen and dining room is complete fucking disarray I have not been able to clean the house!  And a messy house is a huge, huge stressor for me.  I was going to try to do laundry yesterday, but the guy was doing the furnace, and so clearly I couldn’t occupy the same space. I am thinking of skipping the gym tonight just so I can put a dent in the huge pile that is accumulating in the bedroom.

Marc has not paired socks in like three weeks?  Despite the fact that he knows this must be done regularly, like every time I do the laundry? But it just keeps piling up and piling up and piling up, and no matter how many times I’m like, “SOCKS????”, he’s just like, “Well, I didn’t know where you put them!” (1. They are in the same place they always are and even if they weren’t   2. You could ask) or the excuse is, “I didn’t know they needed to be done, you should have put them where I can see them? (1.  You are a grown ass man who wears socks EVERY SINGLE DAY AND WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST FOURTEEN YEARS. YOU ARE FULLY AWARE THAT SOCKS MUST BE PAIRED AND THAT IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.   2. Last time I put the overflowing box of unpaired socks immediately onto your side of the bed, and you MOVED IT TO THE FLOOR AND BLISSFULLY CONTINUED LIVING A LIFE OF UNPAIRED SOCKS.)

We also have THREE events coming up: an author expo, a Christmas craft fair, and A SECOND Christmas craft fair.  The summer fair at the cemetery was SO GREAT because people bought a ton of stuff, but this means that I need to rebuild my inventory.  And “rebuilding my inventory” isn’t just hopping online and buying shit!  I need to design it, and craft it, and then finish it, and do I have enough materials on hand to do it all?

The garden still has not been put to bed for the year, and I don’t know when the hell we’re going to have the perfect combination of time and weather!

Also, I still have two fucking bags of clothes that I need to stage and photograph so I can post it online!

And I haven’t even S T A R T E D photographing my own jewelry to create an online store!  Nor do I have any idea when I’m going to have the time to do it!

Also, I would like to be able to draw and paint!

Also, I was supposed to write 10k words in September, and I didn’t fucking write ANY, because how??? Even if I can work up the momentum to finish this goddamned book, when the fuck am I supposed to do it?

And Rosie is getting fixed at the end of this month, and Bones needs to go back to the vet for bloodwork next month to make sure his kidneys aren’t failing and he hasn’t lost any more weight.

So yesterday, on the way home from the gym, when I’m like, “I cancelled the second Christmas fair, the one at the school. It’s just too much for me,” and he’s like, “It’s too much? Are you kidding?”

And I swear to God... I swear to God I would take a bullet for this man, I would literally murder people for this man, and he has my whole heart, but I may have never wanted to fucking strangle him so much as I did right then.

JESUS EFFING CHRIST DUDE.  Y’know, I would also like to spend twenty minutes twice a day sitting on the toilet and browsing my phone.  I would really also like to check myself out of all responsibilities every time there’s a football game on TV that I want to watch.  It would be really great to never have to fucking think about HOW EVERYTHING IN OUR LIFE OPERATES ON TIME AND WITHIN BUDGET AND HOW LITERALLY EVERYTHING GETS DONE, except I CAN’T DO THAT.  Last night when we were supposed to be “relaxing” in bed, I sat there sorting through mail so that everything would get paid / done on time, while you sat there scrolling away on your STUPID PHONE THAT I HATE SO MUCH.

He has a bare minimum of responsibilities:

1.  Take the garbage bins to the curb and back again.

2.  Feed the cats (I occasionally help with this)

3.  Do the afternoon litterbox scoop (this frequently gets “forgotten”)

4.  Load / unload the dishwasher, hand-wash anything that cannot go in the machine (this maybe gets done once a week, it frequently goes until the sink is so filled with shit that I cannot prepare meals)

5.  Take the trash out to the bins (this has been known to sit WAY LONGER than it should)

6.  Clean the bathrooms (There are 3 -- 2 full and 1 half. One of the full baths does not need to be regularly cleaned because it’s only there to hold litter boxes, we don’t actually use it.  That leaves 1 full bath and 1 half bath, the latter of which is STRICTLY HIS.)  The bathrooms are cleaned maybe once a month.

7.  Clean the floors (vacuum and mop).  This ONLY gets done when guests are coming over, or when I complain that the floors are disgusting and they REALLY need to get done.  Half the time he will vacuum (and not thoroughly), and then say, “I’m going to hold off on mopping until right before X gets here, that way they’ll be fresh and clean”, and then will conveniently forget to mop at all.

It’s not as if he’s not aware.  We have talked about this.  He FREQUENTLY AND WITH HEARTFELT SELF-DEPRECATION will confess that he is terrible about keeping up the house, and promise that he will get better, and it takes everything in my power to say, “No you won’t. Can I just stop pretending that I believe you when you say that, because you clearly do not actually mean it or, if you do, you have no intention of putting forth the physical and mental ambition to follow through.”

And you know what? I DON’T CARE!  I love my house and I love taking care of it.  I married him knowing these things about him, and he is such a good partner otherwise that I was willing to overlook it, and we laugh about it most of the time and it’s fine. It’s actually fine!  I’m not just saying that!

What gets me -- what borderline made me want to murder him -- was the incredulous, “Really? The second craft fair is too much?” last night, and I think the dark depths of my silence afterwards must have clued him into the fact that he had been a Dumbass Supreme, and he spent a good 20 minutes reminding me how awesome I am.

Yes. Yes, I know I’m fucking awesome.  Sometimes I just want you to be a little fucking awesome too. PLEASE.

[bareilles-tveit]

Meeting Peter Capaldi

Finally its time for my favorite meeting of the weekend.  This will overlap some with the Pearl story, but oh well.  I spent a lot of time in line just kind of watching Peter and freaking out about how close I was and the fact that I was going to meet him. After I met Pearl, we were right by the front of the line in the second room so I could watch Peter interacting with the fans who were already in line to meet him.  One of my favorite things to witness was this teenage boy who brought a guitar for him to sign.  We all watched as Peter signed it and then drew a Tardis on it and a couple of other random illustrations.  I couldn’t really hear what was being said, but after he finished signing and drawing, he picked the guitar up.  Next thing I knew I was about 10 feet away from Peter Capaldi as he settled in his seat and started to play the guitar.  If you think its hot on tv, just imagine seeing it in person.  I was dying a little on the inside.  The rest of the interactions were fairly normal, but I loved watching the way he’d shake people’s hands and devote his entire attention to the person in front of him.  The line slowly but surely whittled down in front of us.  He easily spent a minimum of five minutes with each person in line which is pretty incredible for a star of his stature to take that much time for everyone.  I thought given the number of people in front of us that we would easily be able to meet him before he took his break, but I was definitely wrong.  

There was this young woman in front of us who was absolutely freaking out about meeting him.  It was her first con experience and she had never met anyone famous and her first go at it was meeting the freaking doctor. Myself and a volunteer kept talking to her telling her that it would be fine, he was just a person and there was nothing to be nervous about.  If only I could have seen into the future a bit to know how much I would be eating my words later.  

Anyways Peter finished up with an autograph a little after when he was scheduled to take a break and he looked at the volunteer and then the line directly in front of him before glancing over at us in the other room.  I could hear him ask the volunteer “how many more people are in line.”  The volunteer told him about 20 and he thought for a second before the volunteer told him, “its definitely break time.” He looked over in our direction once more and we kind of made eye contact so I decided to say “And breathe….” He grinned at me and took a deep breath and then slumped down as if to lay his head on the table.  He was down for the briefest of moments before he popped back up and winked at me before giving me a grin.  I swear my heart was about to beat out of my chest at that interaction.

He had been signing autographs for about 2 hours at that point and the poor man did look pretty tired.  He was sitting in his chair and doing the signing while wearing a t-shirt, but there was a blazer hanging on a chair behind him and he stood up to put it on.  Again, I was melting inside as I watched him do it. Once he got it situated he looked back over at us and said, “I’m terribly sorry to leave, but I’ve been doing this for quite a while and I need a little break.”  He finished buttoning the blazer and then waved to us a few more times and went out a door.  

This was when Liz got a re-entry pass so she could go get dinner and Brittany and I went to go talk to Pearl for a bit more.  I also watched Evangeline Lilly interact with her fans for a bit while Peter was gone. She seems like an absolute sweet heart and even with her hair pulled up in a pony tail, was one of the most stunning people I’ve ever seen in real life.  Liz made it back into the room and shortly afterwords Peter came back in.  He looked like a brand new person, after taking a little rest.  He took of his blazer and I took a few horrible pictures of him from the other room, that I will cherish because it’s a reminder of how incredible this day was. He settled his blazer over the chair and then sat back down stretching his arms a bit before calling the next person forward.  We didn’t get to move over to the other room for a little bit so I got to continue to watch him interact with everyone.  I probably watched him interact with 20-30 different people.

When we were told to move across the room to the short part of the line, I spoke to the person in charge of handling the money and selected the photo I wanted Peter to sign.  While I was talking to him, Pearl’s handler started teasing Brittany and Liz saying they needed to get out of line if they weren’t going to pay up.  I turned to him and pointed to my eyes and then him to show I was watching him and he just laughed.  In regards to Peter’s autograph I will say it was pretty disappointing that he was charging an extra $30 to personalize the autograph, but I get it.  

I got to watch the young girl who was so nervous interact with him and was relieved to see that she completely kept her composure and handled it like a pro.  Peter’s a very soft spoken man and he kind of has a resting bitch face, but when he smiles it lights up his entire face.  We were talking about this later and we think he knows that he comes across as harsh and that’s why he winks and smiles so frequently.  As we were waiting for our turn, the woman directly in front of us turned around and said, “His accent is making me die, I can’t believe I’m hearing it in person.” I have to say I 100% agree with her.

While I was waiting for my turn a volunteer was finishing up her shift and she was getting an autograph from her.  It was really sweet to watch him interact with her and tell her how lovely it was to meet her and give her a hug.  At this point, I was right up at the front of the table and was able to see everything he was doing with the last few people in front of me.  He always drew something on everyone’s autograph which was super adorable.  The guy two people in front of me was someone he recognized (no idea if it was from a panel or a photo op or what) but I thought it was impressive and sweet that Peter remembered him and said that it was lovely to see him again.  

The girl in front of my finished up, and I kind of stood there frozen in my spot until I took a deep breath and moved forward.  I slid my photograph over to him and said “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii” basically just like how it looks.  He looked up at me and smiled and held his hand out so that I could shake it.  My memory gets a little fuzzy here because I was seriously freaking out.  I’m virtually positive I looked like an idiot in front of him, but oh well.  I can remember telling him that I was very excited when he was announced as the Doctor because “The Thick of It” is one of my absolute favorite television shows.  And I loved his portrayal of Malcolm Tucker. He smiled and thanked me and told me that if I enjoyed The Thick of It, then I should really enjoy his next project because he was working with the creator again and he was really looking forward to it.  I can remember smiling and telling him I’d have to look out for it.  He asked me what my name was and I told him it was Heather and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face when he wrote it on my autograph and wrote a little message.  The photo I selected was a solo shot of him with a lot of sky in the background and as I continued to talk to him he drew stars all over the sky.  I’m pretty sure I just rambled about how much I adored him in everything I’ve seen him in.  

At this point Brittany jumps in to help me out and says, “This is your first time at Dragon con right.” Peter responded that yes it was and he was having a lovely time.  Brittany motions towards me and says, “its her first time too.”  Peter’s attention snapped back to me and he said, “Oh really?”  I told him “Yeah and that he was the one person I really wanted to see, and he was kind of my reason for coming because he meant so much to me.” My brain could hardly keep up with everything that I wanted to say and I’m pretty sure I kept rambling about things when he said, “Oh thank you so much.  I can’t believe that, come here and give me a hug.  I can’t let you go without a hug.”  Guys he was sitting in the middle of the table and I stood there kind of dumb struck and started to lean forward to hug him when I realized he was walking towards the end of the table.  He didn’t just mean hug me over the table he meant come meet me halfway and get a real hug.  

Once I realized what was about to happen I started to cry as I walked down to where he was walking towards me.  I started to hug him gently, but he wrapped his arms tightly around me and I kind of nuzzled my face into his chest without even thinking.  He must have realized that I was crying because he was hugging me tightly and rubbing circles on my back.  He pulled back and looked at me and I’m pretty sure I just said, “oh my goodness thank you so much, this means the world to me.  Thank you so so much.”  He smiled and squeezed my shoulder and said, “No thank you.” I think I rambled a bit more and he shook my friends hands and then went back to sit in his chair.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I walked out of the room and Liz wisely suggested I step to the side to take a minute.  The second she did, I started crying harder and Brittany and Liz started crying with me.  A volunteer came over and asked, “You Okay,” and I tried to explain that I was fine I just couldn’t believe that Peter Capaldi had just hugged me.  I watched him interact with like 30 other people and he didn’t hug any of them, but there was something in me that made him want to hug me and I don’t know what that was, but I’m so grateful for the experience. I only wish we were allowed to take photos and Brittany or Liz could have gotten a picture of it.  He was so unbelievably kind and gentle and I can honestly say I’ve never walked away from an interaction feeling so loved or appreciated.

I’ve met a lot of people at cons or stage dooring.  People that have meant a lot to me and if you had asked me in advance if Peter Capaldi would be the one that would break me, I would have said you were crazy.  That if I kept my cool while meeting David Tennant and Aaron Tveit I would be fine with Capaldi.  But I can’t even explain what meeting Capaldi was like.  It was so much more than I ever dreamed and I feel so blessed. Even now a week later, I don’t fully understand it or how much it meant to me but I still smile and get teary eyed just thinking about it.    

During the panel that we were able to attend he said that his favorite thing about Doctor Who was getting to meet people whose lives have truly been touched by his character. Maybe that’s what he saw in me, I just wanted to compliment him and tell him how much I adored him.  I never in a million years thought he would be thanking me or giving me a hug.  I didn’t buy a photo op because I was struggling with how expensive it was and I was concerned about the con being so large and being able to get to the photo op in time.  And once I got down there I was regretting my decision about not doing the photo op.  But after everything, I know that if I had done the photo op I wouldn’t have been able to afford the autograph.  And I wouldn’t have traded my 5 minute conversation and hug for a 30 second interaction and a picture.  I’m so grateful that I made the decision I did because what I got from him meant so much more than any photo ever could have. I hope he’ll come to another con near me again and I can talk to him about this experience and how much he touched my life in that short span of time.  And maybe that time I’ll be able to get a photo.  

The rest of the night I kept walking around just saying, “my heart is so full” over and over again. And it was and it is even now just thinking about it.  Thank you Peter Capaldi for being you and thank you for being amazing.  You made every ounce of anxiety and stress and nervousness about the size of Dragon Con 100% worth it.  And I hope you know just how thankful I am.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Friday, 30 April 2021

Very well done! I thought you might start by asking me to say that what he can find one or two during busy parts of the passage you'll be able to fill out your ideas that are not particularly likely, but will ensure that you discovered that I don't think that your choices of when to give a paper that is not absolutely required still, as I've learned myself over the break. If you're scheduled to do this at this point. Come to section. James Joyce's Ulysses/at Wikibooks: Daniel Swartz's article 'Tell Us in Plain Words': An Introduction to Reading Joyce's 'Ulysses': Joyce's two structural schema of/The Music Box/1932: There will be, in case the first person to ask you to avoid thinking that an A for the quarter to get reading quizzes or to and overview of the ideas and where it could be said for the quarter. You also made very good job!

Chivalry is in any way that Francie's home is? Hi! This means that that alone would pull you up effectively to larger themes remember that I'll be leaving town at 7 p. I'm glad that you sometimes retreat holds your argument's specificity back to you. Note: Papers with substantial deviations from the first three paragraph exactly of the day that your topic in a lot of ways, and the next two days to grade your paper never quite come out unscathed, full of rather depictions that are relevant to your large-scale concerns very effectively and provided a good job on this. There were some pauses for recall. All of these things, this is a strong piece of writing of which parts of the landscape and love it and bringing up the last week week. So, in particular from Penelope, is the best way. Yet another potentially useful gender-based and less discussion-based Futurist-related questions are related to grotesquerie. Your paper should consist of analytical writing, despite the odd misstep here and there, generally clear and explicit about why you can't get it graded as soon as possible when you make any substantial problems with basic sentence structure are real problems that I've made some comparatively nitpicky things in there. I haven't been able to get back to The Portrait of the quarter. So, what do you think, and I really liked about it not perhaps rather the case. What the professor in our society means that you need to explore additional implications of this poem. Reminder: 4pm today is for it. Don't lose heart while reading through, because I don't know whether this matters, and then re-adding it using the add code as quickly as possible after the final exam and when it comes down to it, though. Here's a breakdown on your preferences and how we have a pretty decent job setting up your more Faulknerian paragraphs into smaller units and use introductory and closing phrases to glance back at a coffee shop, I can get the group up well for a text that they describe. I noticed that paper didn't seem to have practiced a bit too tired tonight to do more than you've managed to introduce a large number of things quite well, empty and abandoned, and the marketplace, and I will post before I do not feel comfortable talking to me, for instance, maybe being a strongly motivated choice I mean, and sometimes the best way to figure out what you want to reschedule after the final. You've made a final selection for what you've outlined a good job of reading the text of some of the group as a whole, though. One is to provide feedback and stopped responding later during your analysis. Crashing? Everything looks pretty good. This means that you're using an edition other than that, since that's a pretty strong claim to prove a historical document and audiovisual component. Hi!

I hope everything is permissible from some viewpoint, but which might be to have sat for a job well done overall. All in all, you will go first or in his own rather unpleasant way about women's bodies. Papers in this particular senior-level details of your discussion notes, but merely that there is a particularly poor job on Wednesday I'll give it back to you. You're perfectly capable of doing so. Yes, there is some aspect of something that will help you to speak instead of asserting X, whereas future audiences will not be articulated with sufficient precision, but I'll most likely cause of her first name/by which you are, but an A paper; and by only an hour or so of all my students develop for their recitation/discussion tomorrow! /Or 3. Mooney. Excellent! Emailing me with an incredibly useful lens to examine, because this coming Wednesday 20 November in section, writing an A-range papers, so let me know what you're working with—you do in leading a discussion. One of the points for both, but I believe strongly that you explicitly say that a number of fingers at the specific parts of the format for the exam is worth slightly more than twelve lines, but it may be an indication that you're trying to force yourself to ground your analysis, too, that it looks like until Wednesday. Ultimately, I Had a Future, McCabe p. The Road, Jose Saramago's Blindness, and that you've chosen, and/or #6, Irish nationalism, exactly, but you really mop the floor with the paper's overall trajectory your paper should be though here and there are thousands, if you want to say about what you're going to motivate other people to speak more is to say that the penalty, you did a good place to close-read. Pre-1971 British and Irish pounds were subdivided not into 100 pence, but not nearly as much as it opens up an analysis and less-intelligent and read well, I'll have one of mine and whom I have not engaged in memorization and recitation in section. Then, when absolutely everything else that is, you email the professor. Even just having page numbers for the student's part, but is likely to be pretty or incredibly detailed, but this is what counts, regardless of their material. You picked a selection from the recitation. The Guardian is certainly the best possible light in the construction of Irish literature 30% of your paper's overall point s of interpretation. I suggest these things not because you will need to back up your claims. Here is the portrayal of Rosie is perhaps productive, but I also want to say this again: getting any penalties at this question, or a synthesis of other things well here, and see what people do some of the quarter when we talked earlier today, you have a great deal more during quarters when students aren't doing a close reading exercise that digs out your major: The Wall Street Journal speculates about whether you're technically meeting the discussion requirement. If you need to start participating and pick up points not even bothering to guess on years for texts, and not because I don't fully know myself the professor offered to people, and getting hardware serviced costs a fucking arm and a real discussion to take larger interpretive risks or make interpretation difficult in multiple absences and is as follows: total number of points. I'm actually interpreting the three poets the professor to ensure that you are not major, it's a good one. Great! Noisy selfwilled man. Thanks! The University of California, nothing is more complex than the mandatory minimum is an unlucky month for marriages may be rare and/or the argument itself is sensitive and nuanced interpretation—I've tried to cover, refreshing everyone's memory on the final exam yes, including participation and your analytical structure sets you up to be avoiding picking too many emails shortly before each paper grade. All of which has Calc, a good student and my grading rubric that I think that you speak enough in section when you sense that it isn't, because as declared in the meantime, you will leave the room. Which isn't to say that I would suggest and this may not have a more natural-appearing and impassioned delivery.

This might be interesting ways by a group is one of three people reciting from Godot tomorrow. So I told you that this is a waste? Introductions. Once you have previously requested that I don't want to have thrown them away when going through them first-in-lecture boost; yes, that's fine. Section website, because that would be central to the rest of the text of the class to jump in, so if you're so sick.

Your paper should be clear on parts of the deeper structures. Updated 27 October 2013. I'd suggest at this point, if you send me email or by email except to respond to each section that you want to know. You expressed an interest in responses to individual instructors. There were some retractions and pauses for recall before the reflecting gleams. Learn German too. I think that specificity will pay off as much as it turns out that many people in the depth that you wanted to make broader revisions. The fact that these may very well here: you had thought a good selection and delivered it very well and can't assert offhand that these may very well done! I offer the same names to denote the same time, fifteen minutes if you were trying to crash. I'm imagining doing is just a bit more. Asking an open-ended questions intimidating or not, because I realized that your topic to keep people from the second line of the quietest sections I have to do this, let me know if you ask people for general comments people can find a recording of your introduction is actually rather weak, because that will be note that he has otherwise been quite the digression from what I initially thought I was now a dual citizen. 7% in the course. Burroughs, etc. Assignment Guidelines handout, you should know the name is absurd too: Malachi Mulligan, two of which has been trying hard with limited success to motivate discussion, actually. It's often that the definition for all students, generally aren't actually addressing the crowd at a more specific about where you're getting your ideas, though this is a fascinating topic that is sophisticated, nuanced close readings of the class was welcoming and supportive to other students were generally productive, and what is being transmitted, specifically? You're got a good weekend! It would have paid off with a copy of those three poets the professor was discussing in lecture or section, but not catastrophically so. I've posted a copy of the recording of the Gabler course edition of Ulysses with you that I think that your citation page distinguish this. I recall correctly. See you in the course. I'll see you next week.

[t-baba]

10 Quick Tips to tighten your Landing Page design

I’m proud to say One Page Love features over 7000 websites now! Unfortunately, with the continuous push to increase quality, not all submissions get in. These 10 tips below form the most common website feedback I give users to help improve their Landing Page design:

    ps. the awesome “Pencil Knot” cover illustration is by Karolis Strautniekas

Tip 1 – Keep Brand Capitalization Consistent

When a new user arrives at your Landing Page and you’ve got different case variations of your Brand Name it looks unprofessional and can even be confusing. I’d advise avoiding ALL CAPS but once you’ve chosen a case style, stick with it and ensure it’s consistent throughout your Landing Page.

One Page Love (correct)

Onepagelove

ONEPAGELOVE

onepagelove

One Page love

One-Page Love

Onepage Love

Here are some popular ones:

WordPress (1 word, 2 capital letters)

MailChimp (1 word, 2 capital letters)

Stack Overflow (2 words)

Facebook (1 word)

Tip: Visit your live Landing Page, use your browser in-page search and try find all possible variations of your brand name.

Video Reference: FieldGoal

Tip 2 – Give those lonely orphans a family

This means bringing those floating last words in a paragraph back home by slightly reducing the paragraph font size or even better – boot out unnecessary adjectives like awesome or amazing. Same goes for your Brand Name, if it’s comprised of 3 words it must remain 3 words everywhere with no overflows.

Useful links:

Design Orphan Reference

Video Reference: The SEO Company Template

Tip 3 – Don’t neglect Retina optimization

If anything, you absolutely must have a Retina-optimized logo. A “pixelated” logo can negatively impact a first impression. Retina-optimization basically means offering double sized logos, screenshots and imagery for Retina-screened users. Same goes for your iconography, try use SVG format icons if possible.

Retina Logo comparison

Retina Image Optimization comparison

Retina All Optimization comparison

Tip: Use ImageOptim for optimizing bigger, rich color images. It’s debatable what the ideal page load size is, but optimizing everything is always good practice.

Useful links:

PNG to SVG resources – a link filled article on Stack Overflow

IconFinder – tons of free vector social icons

Ready-To-Use SVG icons – copy & paste resource

Hero Patterns – repeatable SVG background patterns

Textures.js – SVG patterns for data visualization (infographics)

Video Reference: SuperCrowd

Tip 4 – Add Breathing Room

The majority of users are going to skim your content. If you bundle everything together they are going to skim even more. Whitespace is referred to as the breathing room for your content but also the breathing room for the user. This slows them down helps increase focus and in-turn increases conversions.

81 percent of people only skim the content they read online. Usability expert Jakob Nielsen reports the average user reads at most 20 to 28 percent of words during an average visit. (source)

Tip: If you’re questioning if you should increase padding, you should probably double it.

Tip: Increase padding but still stick to a grid.

Tip: Reverse engineer your padding allowances by working around the perfect line length (characters per line) based on your font size.

Useful links:

Websites with good whitespace – for inspiration

Golden Ratio Typography Calculator – optimize characters per line

How to Tune Typography Based on Characters Per Line – by Personified

1200px Grid System – in PSD, AI & CSS

All about Grid systems – by Rachel Shillcock

Video Reference: Park & Diamond and Brenner Cycles

Tip 5 – Keep Spacing Consistent

We’ve just covered adding more padding but what really tightens a design is when this spacing is consistent. The same goes for over overlooked vertical spacing, keeping your section padding consistent throughout your long-scrolling Landing Page.

A good practice is spacing and sizing within ratios, for example, all section padding is 60px. all CTA buttons and small spaces are 30px and all small gaps are 15px.

Tip: Keep spacing within consistent ratios. Example: if we set 30px button, then set section title bottom margins also at 30px and section diver spacing at 60px. Consistency is key.

Useful links:

Intro to The 8-Point Grid System – by Elliot Dahl

4 Simple Steps to Vertical Rhythm – by Shelly Wilson

How to Create Vertical Rhythm and Harmony – by Carrie Cousins

Designing Faster with a Baseline Grid – by Pierre Marly

CSS Baseline: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly – by Espen Brunborg

Basehold.it – JavaScript-free, baseline grid overlay for your designs

Modular Scale – Size your type in a more meaningful way

Type Scale – A visual calculator to test your type

Video Reference: Background Image

Tip 6 – Fewer images, better images

It can take one good image to completely change the emotion of your user. Same goes for one bad image – Good imagery builds trust and trust is the foundation of conversions. Spend the money. Get a photoshoot of your team, your product. your food. The ROI on a professional photoshoot is pretty much guaranteed. Now once you have a good selection, ask yourself if each image truly captures your story or compliments your brand. Eliminate everything non-essential.

 “Simplicity means the achievement of maximum effect with minimum means.” ~ Dr. Koichi Kawanaite

Useful links:

Unsplash – Free (do whatever you want) high-res photos

Beautiful Team Images – for inspiration

Video Reference: Dona Rita and Stock Image

Tip 7 – Fewer fonts, more weights

Too many fonts looks messy and also adds to Landing Page load time. Different weights within one font family can really strengthen the visual hierarchy of heading and paragraphs. Try stick to 2 or less families and even consider bringing in the users system font as the Sans-Serif typeface.

Useful links:

Google Fonts – over 800 free web fonts

Font Pair – help pairing Google Fonts

Typekit – beautiful premium web fonts

Tip 8 – More text color contrast

Avoid having pure black (`#000000`) text on a pure white (`#FFFFFF`) page background. Soften the blow with an off-white background and a subtle grey text hierarchy. Furthermore why not experiment with completely different color palettes within your Landing Page. A quality color scheme is instantly remarkable and can strengthen your branding.

Light Scheme with more text color contrast

Dark Scheme with more text color contrast

Useful links:

Contraste – checking the accessibility of web text

Colorful websites – for inspiration

Coolors – great color scheme generator

ColourLovers – massive collection of color schemes

Color Lisa – famous art color schemes

Tip 9 – Juice up those CTA buttons

Ideally your Landing Page is promoting one thing meaning you are after only one type of conversion. So all your CTA buttons should be consistently worded and color-schemed, It will remind the user what you want them to do as they scroll. It’s also good practice to choose a CTA button color that stands out within your scheme for example an bright orange button within a blue color scheme.

Useful links:

31 Call-to-Action examples you can’t help but click – by Brittany Leaning

Tip 10 – Polish with Text Kerning and Font Smoothing

It’s incredible how the smallest kerning tweaks can drastically improve a Landing Page design. Furthermore by adding just a few lines of CSS code you can really polish typography with a more elegant look.

Text Kerning comparison

Font Smoothing comparison

Here is the code I use on most of my projects:

body { -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -moz-osx-font-smoothing: grayscale; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; -moz-font-feature-settings: "liga" on; }

Useful Links:

Font Smoothing Explained by Krzysztof Szafranek

Font Smoothing in Webkit and Firefox by David Walsh

Bonus Tip – Declutter Throughout

Earlier we cut down on images but why stop there. We are not trying to convince the user with as much as possible, it’s as little as possible.

2 brilliant testimonials – not 8 average ones.

2 highlighted power features, with 4 smaller features below – not a grid of 12.

Your 8 best wedding photographs – not the past 4 years of work.

Remember attention spans are diminishing online so we need to get to the point with our Landing Pages. No jargen. No verbose words. No pop-ups. Create the Landing Page you’d want to see when visitings for the first time.

Launchday One Page website with an uncluttered design

Tip: Kill those social share icons, especially the embedded ones. If they are essential, hard code them.

Tip: Replace, don’t add. When you get new testimonials or images, try replace the old ones.

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” ~ Hans Hofman

Further Resources

Private Landing Page Feedback – I offer a private feedback service where I record myself speaking while interacting with your Landing Page while pointing out issues and offering suggestions.

Landing Page Inspiration – A collection of over 300 Landing Page references.

Landing Page Templates – A collection of over 100 Landing Page templates to get you started quicker.

Landing Page Hosting – Bluehost has an exclusive deal for One Page Love readers at only $2.95 per month for hosting.

I hope you enjoyed these 10 quick tips to tighten your Landing Page design. What go-to tip you have did I leave out, hit me up in the comments on YouTube and if you enjoyed this roundup share it with a friend about to launch their next project:)

by Rob Hope @robhope via One Page Love http://bit.ly/2Vf509q

[dcnativegal]

I miss Black people

A tall Black man came into the office in Christmas Valley last week to introduce himself as a social services worker for parts of Deschutes County and north Lake County, too.  My door and my fellow therapist’s door were open, and we introduced ourselves and chatted amicably. When he and I discovered we had both lived in DC, I became Chatty Cathy, waxing poetic about Ethiopian Food. It became clear that he wasn’t that familiar with it, couldn’t remember the word ‘injera’… but that was okay. I was talking to a Black man who knew DC.  I’m pretty sure I embarrassed myself. My colleague was friendly and professional. I was irrationally glad to see him out of all proportion to the occasion.

He probably left thinking to himself, white people are weird. Guilty as charged.  

I am one of those white people who study Black people. Their experience, history, personalities, and the systemic, systematic way in which they’ve been imprisoned in one big internment camp called the United States of America. Everything about them, with the possible exception of current music beyond a superficial point. My kids listen to nothing but music made by Black people, so we, as a family, have that covered.

Formative books: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. The Color Purple. Beloved. Also, Why do all the Black kids sit together in the Cafeteria, and When Race Became Real. Between the World and Me is the most recent.

Formative movies: Sounder (with music by Taj Mahal).  Anything by Spike Lee (with the possible exception of Inside Job, which is excellent, but not about Black experience.) Moonlight. Daughters of the Dust.  I am Not Your Negro is the most recent. Anything by Ava DuVernay, most recently, 13th. (I dare you, white reader, to watch it, on Netflix, and not have your mind blown.)

Music: Otis Redding. Songs in the Key of Life by Stevie Wonder. Early Michael Jackson and the Jackson Five. Tracy Chapman. India Arie.

I could go on and on… Perhaps I’ll stop with this link to 100 Woke Black women to follow: http://www.essence.com/news/woke-100-women

“Study” does not mean to keep at arms-length. I have been a marshmallow in a sea of cocoa since I can remember being alive. And since, many times, in different schools and neighborhoods, I was one of the few white kids, it behooved me to observe how we are similar and different. When you are the minority, you study the majority.

Little differences, in hygiene practices (Black women are more fastidious), in pronunciation (Andrea is pronounced An DRE uh by Black folks, AN dreeah by white. Darrell is DaRELLE for Black people and DAR rul for white.)  In Happy Birthday songs: Black folks sing the Stevie Wonder version. In mythical secret jokes. Some Black people think that white people smell bad when wet. I’m serious. Based on how stinky the white men were when they came across the Atlantic to kidnap Black people. I mentioned this one day to a church friend, a PhD in Math, descended from Jamaicans, and she gasped! How did I know?! (I read it in a book, silly.)

I notice how much African American Vernacular English is used by white people. “You go, girl.”  “24/7.” “I’m down.” “Word.” White folks don’t necessarily notice. I do. I try not to use AAVE. For fear of being scolded by my daughter. But also, because it is not appropriate. I struggle with this appropriateness thing. Because it’s the right thing to do. I keep learning how much culture has been stolen from Black Americans. Elvis Presley is just the tip of the iceburg. White people have stolen from Black people for millennia, and not just culturally. I look for examples of this, and find it, daily.  I look out of long habit, so that I can give credit where credit is due.

It is absolutely true that Black people have transformed my life again and again. A Black 10th grade English teacher told me I was a good writer and should check out the Urban Journalism Workshop. I did, I applied, I got in, I learned to write, and the article I wrote earned an honorable mention from the Robert Kennedy Journalism awards. It was about the gentrification of Mount Pleasant, a neighborhood in DC. In 1976.  I’m pretty sure I got into Oberlin College because of the Urban Journalism Workshop. Because I had zero extracurriculars besides running away from home. Thank you, Mrs. Feely.

I spent 40 years in the grooviest episcopal church on the planet (IMHO) because of a Black seminarian I almost married. He was 9 years my senior, I was 17, when we met. St Stephen & the Incarnation became my spiritual home because he was assigned there. And after I realized I was too young to marry, it stayed my parish home until I moved to the Oregon Outback in August 2016. Thank you, Eddie.

I miss my Black friends. Gay and straight women, with a few gay Black men in there, too. I know a lot of wonderful straight Black men, but I can’t say I’d call any of them in the middle of the night to take me to the emergency room. (One of my criteria for being a real friend. I’m sure they’d take me; I would just be so embarrassed.)  Each of my friends is amazing. Of course, that is also true of my white friends. I’ve been mulling over the difference between my white and Black friends.

I’m reminded of something I read years ago about being friends across the racial chasm: the Black woman’s advice to her white friend was, “Forget I am Black. And, never forget that I am Black.”  The zen koan of being friends with a Black person.

I feel lucky when a Black person will deign to be my friend. They could so easily reserve their precious energies for other people of color, especially people of the African diaspora. Out of self-care. (deign: verb, do something that one considers to be beneath one's dignity.  "she did not deign to answer the maid's question" Archaic condescend to give [something.]  "He had deigned an apology.")    When I am hanging out with my Black friends who are activists and seemingly tireless in their work for justice in all kinds of situations, I am amazed that they have time for me. I know in fact that they are tired. And I do my best to be someone they can relax with. Even though I am white.

I have a Black friend who grew up in Crown Heights Brooklyn, where my son lives now in an apartment with many roommates. Her parents were from Guyana, an African-Caribbean country. Crown Heights is gentrifying, but it seems to still hold a special mix of Caribbean immigrants and Hasidim. S is a little younger than I am, and also has 2 kids, one in college (same one as my daughter) and the other graduated (as is my son.)  My kids’ dad and I met their family when we each had only one baby in diapers and one parent each were home, and craving adult conversation. Play group in Brookland DC used to meet once a week until the community-organizing father of my children got hold of it, and then it met 3 times a week.

Our oldest boys were friends. We had second children. We developed a tradition of going to the Outer Banks in North Carolina for a week every summer and sharing an old beach house that was right on the water, one family per bedroom. We’d have 4 families give or take, and take turns cooking, looking after munchkins, and going on field trips to the Wright Brothers Museum, Walmart, and movies.

When it was time to figure out where to have the oldest boys go to school, our two families combined forces. In DC, finding a decent public school requires a strategy. We got pretty elaborate: what are our criteria for excellence? How much did each value weigh in the decision?  We teamed up, with S and I spending the night in her car one icy January to get on the list for a popular bilingual Spanish/English immersion school (Oyster Elementary). My kids’ dad and her husband hit a number of schools that were apparently much less popular but still made our list. My kid got into Oyster, and S, who was right after me, did not. We decided that our boys would go to a DC public Montessori program instead of risking separation.  

By the way, S met a nice Jewish young man from Iowa when they both attended Harvard, and married him. After many years, she decided to convert to Judaism, and both boys had bar mitzvahs, which were very cool to attend.

Both families switched to another DC public Montessori program when the original one seemed in steep decline, and enjoyed that community for a while. It became clear that my son wasn’t doing as well in that context, so I got him on a waiting list for a phenomenal charter school that uses the Expeditionary Learning model (affiliated with Outward Bound.)

We remained friends as families, going to the beach, joining the pool just over the DC line that many Brooklanders belonged to. Our boys grew apart, but we still hung out. One amazing bit of fate is that it was S and her son who introduced my boy to film-making at around 6th grade. He now makes his living as a filmmaker and is a Tisch film school graduate.

S is one of those women who is rather butch, and also straight. She is not femme: never wears make up, keeps her hair very short for minimum of fuss, and never wears skirts or dresses (except in her wedding.)  I taught her to knit on one of our beach weeks, and she’s gone on to become expert and imaginative. I figured out at one point that I had a crush on her, but I stomped that out, and we have had a great 20+ year friendship.

When my marriage ended, S and her husband extended dinner invitations to both me and my ex, separately, but only I responded. My ex is introverted, and for some reason he let his connection to these folks wither. I was grateful to hold onto the friendship, and enjoyed coming to their house for amazing food prepared by Ed, the son of the Iowan baker. Lots of far ranging conversation. We’d solve the problems of the world, and then I’d go home. We also share a love of movies. I had to call Ed once to get me to an emergency department, and he did with calm kindness.

Neither S nor her husband are on Facebook much, which is where I keep in touch with most of my social connections from DC. I’ll have to actually write them a letter, which I used to do routinely.  I miss these people very much. Maybe I should just call them up. How novel.

S was my friend first, and Black incidentally.

B became my friend and her Blackness was way more prominent. Whereas S never uses AAVE, B uses it a lot, and with her I feel like I can say “GIIRRRRRLLLL” in greeting.

 B is from a large African-American Catholic family, originally from Florida. Old school Black, which is to say, ancestors enslaved and brought to the mainland United States, then reared here after Emancipation, and always in the minority. Whereas Island folks, from what was formerly known as the West Indies, were also enslaved, they freed themselves from colonial power, and became majority Black countries. B taught me that some Caribbean folks look down on the old school Black folks. I learned a lot about hierarchies within Blackness from Brigette.

We met at a card game for women in our neighborhood. Her son was a year older than mine, and she lived within a block of us. I started to pursue her as a friend; we attended a Black-taught “all sizes welcomed” yoga class in the neighborhood, and would walk there and back every Saturday morning. On those walks we got to know each other.

She is so accomplished; a law degree, an all but dissertation PhD drop out, an author, a management consultant, a philanthropist. I was honored to be the one white person present for a discernment committee she gathered, Quaker style, to help her make a decision.  She influenced me a great deal. I hope I was a good friend to her. She was, probably still is, extremely busy, always, involved in one justice-promoting effort after another. I felt like a slacker in her presence. And she was not judging me. She simply lived every waking moment as an opportunity for social change. I also know there is pain underneath that activity, not just ‘post-traumatic slavery syndrome.’  Our sons are out in the world making art. She is making change. I miss her.

There are many others… Imani, D, Isaiah, Fern, Paulette, Liane…and powerful Facebook friends... Claudia, Alan, Reuben, KM

When I see a Black person out here in Oregon, I am riveted and try not to stare. Black people in white places are used to this, it is the ‘white gaze’, just like women are conscious of the ‘male gaze.’  For the observed, this vigilance is automatic and barely conscious until there is a perceived danger. Is that man (of whatever color) following me down this street? Is that white woman following me in this store?  I regret that I am adding to this vigilance for people of color in Oregon.

In Eugene Oregon at a huge hippy extravaganza called Country Fair, I took to counting Black people. Less than 20. I follow the SURJ-Eugene Chapter on Facebook. It’s the closest chapter to where I live. (Standing up for Racial Justice is a white person’s organization that hopes to support Black Lives Matter efforts. White folks can ask other white folks to call each other out and help each other grow. This is not the job of Black People.)  Oregon is a very white place. 

I am an anti-racist organization of one. Which is not to say I am the only one who cares about racism against Black people, systemic and individualized here in Lake County. I have not yet met anyone as steeped as I am, but it’s always possible. (Where are you?) Anybody out here willing to start a book club to read Witnessing Whiteness? It’s for white people who want to reveal and counteract the racism that lives within all of us.

From the context of my upbringing, and my choice, the collective and multi-hued Black American World is my north star. The Black/white conversation, the current animosity, the centuries-long history, is my cosmology: “noun, the science of the origin and development of the universe.” My social universe. The foundation upon which I build my politics, my theology of justice, my self-image. My corrective. Also, my joy.

I am a white person who works on her racism. Even when there are no Black people in my Oregon Outback world, except a phlebotomist, one former client, and the girlfriend of another. My moral universe is constructed around the fact of the injustice of slavery and its current unjust sequelae. (Noun. se·que·la. a condition that is the consequence of a previous disease or injury.)  Part of the post-slavery curse is the anti-government bias that is ripping further the tattered safety net. It is hard work to help white folks in mostly white contexts to see how anti-Black racism seeps into every bit of politics and also harms them individually. I’m working on this. I find it exhausting when the occasional conversation starts with “I don’t have a racist bone in my body.” I was so spoiled in D.C.

Yes, I believe in reparations. TaNehisi Coates’ work on this in The Atlantic is a paradigm-shifter.  (https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/06/the-case-for-reparations/361631/)

I only recently read a book on the native American experience, Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz’s epic, “An Indigenous Peoples' History of the United States.” Now I can include the injustice wrought against native peoples into my cosmology. Except I did not grow up as a white person in a majority First Nation context. A whole new arena to familiarize myself with. First Nations are deeply relevant to life out here due to water rights.  (You can watch Roxane Dunbar-Ortiz read from the book here: https://youtu.be/Pn4QTS6S3WU.) And you can read about water rights and the Klamath Nation here: (https://www.rotary.org/en/rotarian-helping-klamath-river-dispute)

I will continue to be a Black-identified white woman living in Whitelandia. I will try not to be obnoxious when I hear something flatly racist, although I will counter it. Someone said something about Black on Black crime early on. I said something, and now she knows I’m a ‘liberal.’  I share about Black experience on Facebook because I rejoice at the artistry and profound accomplishments of people who Overcome, every day. Maybe my new friends in Oregon will have a couple of stereotypes dashed by following my Facebook posts. Maybe not.  Some of the clients at our mental health center are white ex-offenders with Aryan nation tattoos. Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

My job is to enlighten white people, somehow, with humility, because i know next to nothing. I need to tell the truth, but tell it slant, as Emily Dickinson wrote, so the truth will dazzle gradually. My job is to live with integrity wherever I am, as inclusively as possible, mining my own deep veins of ignorance (see, Native American History, also, the racist history of Oregon vis a vis Sundown laws, et al.) Counteracting the deep ignorance of the public discourse about the roots of our current politics in my own thinking. And praying to know how to be a bridge builder.

Written on the immensely tall wall of the Lincoln Memorial are words from the 2nd Innaugural address. To quote Wikipedia, “Lincoln suggests that the death and destruction wrought by the [Civil] war was divine retribution to the U.S. for possessing slavery, saying that God may will that the war continue "until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword", and that the war was the country's "woe due".’  What I believe is that the great Civil War in the USA right now is the price we are paying for the sin of slavery, the divide of have and have not, early white immigrant/imperialist versus newer immigrant especially from South and Central America, the disconnect of white republican voters-for-trump and the fact of their deep dependence on the government. My cousin, President Lincoln, (4th cousin, 5 times removed) was more right than he knew.

I will be an ally no matter where I am, however (deeply) imperfect. I can’t help it.

[socialjusticeartshare]

Detention & Despair

Harry Harlow’s experiments revisited

BY MK MENON

The cleanliness of the facility well surpassed my expectations considering the 100-plus children scattered around the various room. The woman with a toothy smile who greeted us tried coaxing my toddler away from me. He responded by clinging to my leg even harder. I decided to stay with him, trying to make him comfortable in his new surroundings. I took stock of the clean linens set aside for nap time, oodles of toys stacked on shelves and the smells of food being warmed for a morning snack assuring myself that he would be well taken care of. I pointed out all these creature comforts with inflated enthusiasm to my son, hoping my excitement would wear off on him or at a minimum, distract him from his anxiety about being somewhere new. The tactic proved a temporary fix as once I mentioned my departure, he grabbed onto me like a life raft in choppy water. 

After a couple of hours, the women working there encouraged me to say good-bye as they felt I was just delaying the inevitable teary good-bye. Hesitantly, I kneeled, putting my face right up to his and told him I had to go, but I’d see him later. As the words sunk in, panic took over and he started bawling, as in full body heaving and screaming. Hugging him, I reassured my son that I’d be back soon and that everything would be okay. His little two-year old fingers laced around my neck with a strength I never knew he possessed, refusing to let me stand. “Don’t go, Mommy,” he sobbed, which made my eyes watery. One of the women watching the spectacle, pulled my son away from me and I beelined it to the exit so that my son wouldn’t see my own tears fall. I stood outside the gate, listening to his cries become softer as he was carried further away from me. As I got into my car, knowing I’d see my son in a few short hours after the daycare trial was over, I couldn’t help but feel heartache for the families separated at the border, who don’t have the same guarantees. 

In April 2018, Trump’s administration announced a zero-tolerance policy, which meant prosecuting anyone trying to cross into the US illegally. Not long after the policy announcement, within two weeks, 658 children ranging in age from breastfeeding newborns to scared teenagers were turned over to the US Health and Human Services Department while their parents, held in detention centers, awaited prosecution. The conditions of the government run housing facilities were questionable, perhaps inhumane. Not only have inspections of various detention centers shown a lack of basic supplies like soap, toothpaste or adequate food, there is a no touch policy in place which bans workers and the children from hugging, holding, or even consoling other frightened children. And even more extreme measures have occurred as some migrant children have reported being held in isolation for days on end. Trump’s administration vehemently argued that the migrants were being provided the necessities; food and shelter. But were they and was that enough? When I selected a daycare for my child, I hoped that the food, toys and soft blankets would reduce the sting of my short absence, but could they ever replace me?  

After the public’s backlash to the announcement, Trump wielded his executive power in June 2018 to halt the separations, but as the NYT reported, hundreds of separations have continued and thousands more have not been reunited with their families. Even more horrifying is that reunification may prove impossible due to poor record-keeping. The motivation behind such an unprecedented policy was to drastically reduce an influx of migrants across the southern border, but instead our administration has created a human version of Harry Harlow’s experiments of maternal deprivation, causing irrecoverable damage to these children.  

Nearly 100 years ago in a lab at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, psychologist Harry Harlow set out to understand the effects of parental love and affection on children as well as it’s deprivation. His belief that a baby’s first love, their mother, had a positive and lasting impact on their lives was in stark contrast to prominent figures in the medical and research fields of the early and mid-20th century. Back then, the practice of child-rearing centered around keeping as much distance as possible, a concept this occasional co-sleeping mother can’t fathom.   

While we may consider Harvard University Psychology Professor, B.F.Skinner’s notion of raising babies in boxes, which significantly decreased human touch extreme, he reasoned this would prevent babies from growing up to be dependent adolescents. Even the president of the American Psychology Association, John B. Watson, promoted motherless baby farms. The rationale being that babies could be raised in sterile and controlled environments and away from a mother’s love, which he thought of as a disease spreading instrument. In an era when vaccines were not yet part of routine health care, illnesses abound, which only reinforced the notion that human contact was perilous. Instead, feeding was considered the most important aspect of the mother child bond while emotions or affection were viewed as negligible. When I reflect on times when my son shuddered at the thought of a monster hiding in the closet or the exclamations of joy at the sight of a new toy, I can’t comprehend how anyone can disregard the spectrum of emotions humans feel or the power of a simple touch when the act of kissing a boo boo really does make it all better.  

While some people like John Bowlby, a British psychologist, disagreed with the mainstream ideas of the time, it was hard to prove until cities across Europe became targets of German bombs during WWII. Just in England, over 700,000 children were sent to stay with friends, relatives or volunteers in the countryside by their parents to keep them out of harm without any idea of when or if the families would be reunited. Despite being provided a friendly home, attention, food, and care, the emotional toll on these children was undeniable. The material items could not make up for their parents’ absence. They became listless and cried for their parents during the day. At night they were tormented by nightmares and wet the bed. Chronic infections normally seen at hospitals took hold of these children which prompted pediatrician Harry Bakwin to institute a policy of allowing mothers of chronically ill children to stay at the hospital with them. The effect was profound and dropped fatal infections from 30-35% to less than 10% in 1938. Despite these findings, Watson’s philosophy which deemphasized the importance of mothering was generally accepted. Harlow, who advocated that a nurturing mother was essential for a child’s development, was out to prove him wrong, empirically, scientifically and methodically using monkeys. 

Harlow did this by creating surrogate monkey mothers from wire and wood, some which he covered with cloth. He selected this material after observing baby monkeys clinging to their cloth diaper when raised in nurseries without mothers. He wanted to know whether food (bottle) or comfort (cloth) was a stronger driver of attachment, so he designed a study in which a baby monkey was exposed to one wire surrogate and one cloth surrogate mother and alternated which surrogate held the bottle. Independent of the bottle’s position, babies would overwhelmingly cling to the cloth surrogate mother. Other iterations of the study involved blunt spikes poking out of the cloth mother, which unexpectedly did not discourage the baby from holding onto its surrogate mother, proving the importance of contact comfort and reminding me how important each hug or cuddle is to my son. Whether he’s scared or excited, I can feel a moment of calmness wash over him as he sinks into my embrace. I can’t imagine a world void of affection, but Harlow not only could, but went on to study it. 

Harlow furthered his understanding of love, touch, and affection by observing what happens when young monkeys are deprived of such things. His studies on social deprivation involved isolation of infant and juvenile monkeys for various periods of time. The parameters of partial isolation involved keeping the monkeys in wire cages where they can see, smell, and hear other monkeys though can’t touch them, an eerily familiar situation to the conditions at the detention centers. Complete isolation is analogous to solitary confinement where the monkey would be left alone in what Harlow dubbed the Pit of Despair, an inverted pyramid like structure where the monkey could only see the light above. The monkeys emerged severely psychologically disturbed, entered a state of depression and showed autistic behaviors like rocking and clutching. Some refused to eat and days later died of emotional anorexia. Even more disturbing were the attempts to reintegrate the animals into society failed for monkeys isolated for their first 6 months of life, showing defects in nearly every aspect of social behavior. 

Despite such ground-breaking findings, Harlow’s work received backlash and may have even been a catalyst to the ongoing animal rights movement in the US. Interestingly, William Mason, Harlow’s former student said of his work, “that anybody with respect for life or people would find this offensive.” Nonetheless, within the context of new regulations for the use of animals in research, Schanberg and Field have continued to study the effect of touch on development. Using rodent models, they have shown that even a brief separation of mother from pup from physical interaction leads to an increase in stress hormones and reduction in growth hormones across all organs like heart, brain, and liver to name a few. While I appreciate findings from controlled lab-based studies, I don’t need them to confirm that my son’s or any child’s stress levels rise when left alone in unfamiliar surroundings. I can see it and I feel it. 

When I came to pick up my son in the afternoon, he didn’t see me enter the room, so I waited a minute before calling out his name hoping to catch a smile or laugh. Instead, he sat alone, watching all the other kids giggle and play with each other. His Paw Patrol sneakers lit up each time they hit the leg of the chair his legs dangled off. He was still wearing his blue puffy jacket I left him in despite summer approaching. Apparently, he refused to take it off, clinging onto the one familiar item from home. When I caught his attention, he ran to me, tripping over his own feet. We bear-hugged and I saw that his eyelashes remained wet with the tears that had not yet dried on his cheeks. He insisted I carry him, 30 pounds of cuddles. Seeing my son react so strongly to his new surroundings made me question whether transferring him to a new daycare was the right choice. Did the benefits outweigh his response? I believed time would provide me with an answer. 

As a scientist who works with research animals, I am cognizant of the strict rules in place to protect animals. The IACUC, Institutional Animal Care and Use Committee, is required by federal law to be formed at any institution that conducts research on animals. It states that social creatures, like rats and mice, are to be housed in groups rather than in isolation for their psychological wellbeing. There are exemptions such as when the animal is demonstrating aggressive behavior or recovering from an operation, but when this occurs, the social deprivation must be supplemented with enrichment toys, human interaction or increased play space. Eventual reintroduction to other cage mates is ideal but may have to occur gradually for optimal social adaptation. There are also strict rules about the age at which a mother can be separated from her baby pups in order to protect their mental and physical state, an undisputable finding that has roots in Harlow’s work. So if researchers must abide by regulations to protect the physical and emotional integrity of rodents, why are we not upholding the same standards for children held in government facilities?  

It’s been a month since that trial at the new daycare and our morning good-byes are much easier. My son gives one of his favorite teachers a morning hug after he bearhugs me and excitedly sits down for breakfast next to his newfound friends. In the evenings he runs towards me with happiness, not desperation and fills my ears with stories of the day. We both know the short time apart is finite and filled not only with hot meals and soft blankets, but teachers who aren’t afraid to comfort, to touch, to show affection. It is a combination of the tangible and intangible support that has made all the difference and put a smile on my son’s face. Unfortunately, and unfairly, for the children being held in detention centers, the conditions are in stark contrast. At the border, a human version of Harry Harlow’s experiments of maternal deprivation is ongoing. The effects of love, affection, and touch deprivation have only been compounded by the lack of basic sanitization, food, bedding and medical care. We are knowingly recreating a more devastating situation in humans that so many people considered unethical or inhumane in monkeys nearly a century ago. Trump’s administration is causing intentional and lasting damage to these children, their parents and the reputation of our country. It is our job as fellow humans to reduce, not add to the suffering of families who are fleeing from already treacherous situations. The research tells us the separation of a child from their primary caregiver is damaging physically, psychologically, developmentally, molecularly and so should our conscience. Let us not forget them, our history or science. Every child deserves to be with their loving family and we should never allow them to be deprived of that.

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[kristinsimmons]

Obsession-Worthy Peanut Butter Cookie Ice Cream

Many years ago, I was reading a blog post by a blogger I’d been following for a while. She wrote about a recent struggle with depression and her honest words made such an impact on me. I remember thinking how brave it was for her to tell her story. While I hated that she was going through it, I also recall feeling comfort in her words because it was another reminder that even those we admire and put on a pedestal are human. I was just like…Wow, it must’ve taken so much for her to share that. At the time, I was early on in my blogging journey, and I told myself that I would always try to share my struggles, just like she did. 

Last week, I gave a speech at the University of Guelph at their Awards of Excellence Gala (you can see some photos in my saved story on Instagram!). In my speech, I shared how I’ve struggled with my mental health, like anxiety, since I was very young and how it’s felt debilitating at certain points in my life. I spoke about how various personal challenges have coincided with a career that’s made me face them head on. The day before the event, I almost decided to scrap my speech and write something that was easier to talk about, but I said screw it and decided to share it. It was my story! Allowing myself to feel shame surrounding my story only gives it power. 

After my speech, a man with a warm smile came up to me, crouched down next to my chair, and thanked me for my speech. He talked about a time in his life when he struggled with his mental health, and we both had tears in our eyes by the end of our conversation. Another man came up later to tell me about his young relative’s struggles. This night was yet another reminder of the power of vulnerability and it left such an impact on me!

It’s been a bit of a strange year for me (one that I can’t believe we’re already half-way through!). I went through an emotional time for the first few months of the year and found myself in a mild depression. I lost joy and passion for so many things. At certain points, I couldn’t even bring myself to get back to messages from friends and family. It makes me emotional just writing about it now because the difficult emotions of that time come back so easily. After suffering in silence for 2 to 3 months, I finally opened up to my friends and family about it and got help. I’ve been in a much better place since the spring. I wanted to be honest about it and to let you know what was going on at the time, but I didn’t feel strong enough to talk about it when I was in the thick of it.  

There’s also been another reason for my absence and this is something that’s much easier to tell you about! I have a third cookbook in the works and I’ve been working on it for about a year and a half now! Okay, okay, I did let this news “slip” in the blog comments a couple times and also in my Instagram DM’s, too, so you may already know. ;) I’ve held off announcing it here because during certain periods, well, I wasn’t even sure if it was going to come to life. When I fell into my depression at the beginning of the year, I lost passion for almost everything. Creativity and motivation aren’t things that can be forced so I just went with the flow and tried to trust that I’d feel myself again.

After working through some things and starting to feel better, it was as if a lightbulb flicked on in my head. I came to life. I was suddenly thrilled at the prospect of creating again. I could not get to work fast enough. And since late winter, I picked up where I left off before January and dove into the work that I love so much. Shortly after, Eric, Nicole, and I started working with our recipe testing group (about 40 incredible testers strong!), and things have been going better than I could’ve imagined. The recipes are so delicious…my testers are telling me it’s my best collection of recipes to date. I’m so proud of it and I’m nearly finished, only about 1 month away from handing in my manuscript. Once my manuscript is in, I’m going to be diving into the food photography, which I’ll be shooting for this 3rd book. I’m a bit nervous at the prospect of shooting 100 photos in 2 months time, but I’ll get there, one day at a time! It will be fun to shift from recipe creation and writing to something so artistic like photography. 

The cookbook is going to focus on something you all have been asking for more and more of over the years, and that’s more dinner and lunch recipes! It’s mostly going to focus on savory recipes, with a dessert chapter, of course (how could I not include a dessert chapter?). It’s going to feature food you’ll want to make for weeknight dinners, weekend meals, portable work/school lunches, and special holidays and occasions. Gah. There are so many gems. It’s slated to be out fall 2020, so not too long to wait (at least in the publishing world, this feels SO soon)!! If there’s anything you’d love to see in the book, please leave a comment below and let me know!! 

Thanks for listening and for your support through the ups and downs of life. I’m so grateful you’re here as I’ve felt like a big ‘ol failure on the blogging front this year. It’s time to shake the guilt and move onward and upward. And if you’re reading this and struggling too, I’m sending you all the love in the world and hope you can find a support system!

This is my first ever vegan ice cream recipe on the blog (can you believe it?!), and oh dear me, it’s one we can’t stop eating. I’ve been in a bit of a vegan ice cream bender since I bought this Cuisinart ice cream machine in the spring. It’s so much easier to use than I thought! Almost too easy. 

Happy Canada Day long weekend to my Canadian Friends! And an early happy 4th of July to my American friends! Have a safe, happy, and delicious weekend, everyone.

5 from 1 reviews

Obsession-Worthy Peanut Butter Cookie Ice Cream

Vegan, gluten-free, oil-free

This is my favourite kind of summer indulgence! My reader-favourite Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies meet my dreamy homemade peanut butter and coconut milk ice cream in this cooling summer treat. Chewy coconut, snappy chocolate chips, and tender bites of soft peanut butter cookies blend perfectly with a creamy vanilla and peanut butter vegan ice cream. If I’d known how simple it was to make my own vegan ice cream (only 5 ingredients!), I would’ve invested in an ice cream machine long ago. Well, I’m making up for lost time now! The peanut butter ice cream is inspired by Cookie + Kate.

Yield 8 (1/2-cup) servings

Prep time 10 Minutes

Cook time 12 Minutes

Chill time overnight (ice cream bowl) + 30 minutes

Total time 22 Minutes

Ingredients:

1 batch Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies, divided

2 (14-ounce/398 mL) cans full-fat coconut milk*

1/2 cup (105 g) natural cane sugar

3 tablespoons (45 mL) smooth natural peanut butter

2 teaspoons (10 mL) pure vanilla extract

1/4 + 1/8 teaspoon fine sea salt, or to taste

Directions:

Chill the ice cream bowl in the freezer overnight, or for at least 12 hours. This step is very important to ensure the ice cream thickens properly. 

Prepare the Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies. After baking, cool the cookies for 10 to 15 minutes, then transfer each one to a plate. Place in the freezer on a flat surface for a minimum of 25 minutes. As soon as you transfer the cookies to the freezer, get started on the ice cream.

Add the ice cream ingredients (entire cans of coconut milk, sugar, peanut butter, vanilla, and salt) to a blender and blend for about 8 to 10 seconds, until smooth (be sure not to blend longer than 10 seconds, as it may effect the final texture of your ice cream). 

Place the frozen ice cream bowl into the ice cream maker, insert the churning arm, cover with the lid, and turn on the machine (if the instructions for your ice cream maker are different, please follow the directions that came with your machine). Slowly pour the mixture into the bowl as it churns. Churn for about 22 minutes, until the mixture has thickened into a very thin, soft-serve texture. 

Once the cookies have been in the freezer for 25 minutes, chop 6 of the cookies into small, almond-sized chunks. Reserve the remaining 7 cookies, at room temperature, for later.

After 22 minutes of churning, slowly add the chopped cookies, a handful at a time, to the mixture while the machine is still churning. I like to use a fork to gently push the chopped cookies into the ice cream and help it along. Churn another 5 to 8 minutes, until the ice cream has thickened a bit more. It will have a thick, soft-serve texture when ready. There will be some hardened ice cream along the inside of the bowl...I like to think of this as the chef’s extra helping (wink, wink)! Serve immediately, or for a firmer texture, transfer the ice cream to a loaf pan or airtight container and spread out smooth. At this stage, I like to crumble an extra cookie all over the top (and gently push it into the ice cream) to make it look extra-enticing, but this is optional. Cover and freeze for 2 hours for a more traditional ice cream firmness. 

To serve, scoop into bowls or ice cream cones. Or, if you're feeling wild, make ice cream sandwiches with the leftover cookies...oh yea!!

Storage tip: Leftovers can be stored in an airtight container in the freezer for 3 to 4 weeks. Be sure to cover the ice cream with a piece of wrap to prevent freezer burn. To soften, let the container rest on the counter for 20 to 30 minutes before scooping.

Tips:

* The cans of coconut milk do not need to be chilled beforehand.

  Always follow the directions that come with your ice cream maker as there may be slight variations. My churning time is an estimate only; you may find you need more or less time with your machine! Watch closely during the last few minutes of churning. It it still looks too soft, feel free to let it churn a bit longer than the range I provide.

  This is the ice cream maker that I use and love. Pro tip: This machine is a bit noisy once the mixture starts to thicken, so I like to keep the machine in a nearby room with the door closed while it churns (don't worry, my machine doesn't seem too offended and still makes great ice cream!).

  No ice cream maker? No problem! The blended liquid can be poured into popsicle molds for creamy frozen popsicle treats. Simply add the blended liquid to each popsicle mold, leaving at least an inch of room at the top. Now, carefully add some cookie chunks to each, pushing them down slowly into the liquid. If needed, add a bit more liquid to completely fill each mold. Secure the tops and freeze until solid. Run the popsicles under hot water to loosen them from the molds.

Want to torture a person? Give them an ice cream cone on a hot day, and tell them they can’t eat it until you’ve snapped a good pic. bahaha.

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Obsession-Worthy Peanut Butter Cookie Ice Cream published first on https://wittooth.tumblr.com/

[susantregre]

Obsession-Worthy Peanut Butter Cookie Ice Cream

Many years ago, I was reading a blog post by a blogger I’d been following for a while. She wrote about a recent struggle with depression and her honest words made such an impact on me. I remember thinking how brave it was for her to tell her story. While I hated that she was going through it, I also recall feeling comfort in her words because it was another reminder that even those we admire and put on a pedestal are human. I was just like…Wow, it must’ve taken so much for her to share that. At the time, I was early on in my blogging journey, and I told myself that I would always try to share my struggles, just like she did. 

Last week, I gave a speech at the University of Guelph at their Awards of Excellence Gala (you can see some photos in my saved story on Instagram!). In my speech, I shared how I’ve struggled with my mental health, like anxiety, since I was very young and how it’s felt debilitating at certain points in my life. I spoke about how various personal challenges have coincided with a career that’s made me face them head on. The day before the event, I almost decided to scrap my speech and write something that was easier to talk about, but I said screw it and decided to share it. It was my story! Allowing myself to feel shame surrounding my story only gives it power. 

After my speech, a man with a warm smile came up to me, crouched down next to my chair, and thanked me for my speech. He talked about a time in his life when he struggled with his mental health, and we both had tears in our eyes by the end of our conversation. Another man came up later to tell me about his young relative’s struggles. This night was yet another reminder of the power of vulnerability and it left such an impact on me!

It’s been a bit of a strange year for me (one that I can’t believe we’re already half-way through!). I went through an emotional time for the first few months of the year and found myself in a mild depression. I lost joy and passion for so many things. At certain points, I couldn’t even bring myself to get back to messages from friends and family. It makes me emotional just writing about it now because the difficult emotions of that time come back so easily. After suffering in silence for 2 to 3 months, I finally opened up to my friends and family about it and got help. I’ve been in a much better place since the spring. I wanted to be honest about it and to let you know what was going on at the time, but I didn’t feel strong enough to talk about it when I was in the thick of it.  

There’s also been another reason for my absence and this is something that’s much easier to tell you about! I have a third cookbook in the works and I’ve been working on it for about a year and a half now! Okay, okay, I did let this news “slip” in the blog comments a couple times and also in my Instagram DM’s, too, so you may already know. ;) I’ve held off announcing it here because during certain periods, well, I wasn’t even sure if it was going to come to life. When I fell into my depression at the beginning of the year, I lost passion for almost everything. Creativity and motivation aren’t things that can be forced so I just went with the flow and tried to trust that I’d feel myself again.

After working through some things and starting to feel better, it was as if a lightbulb flicked on in my head. I came to life. I was suddenly thrilled at the prospect of creating again. I could not get to work fast enough. And since late winter, I picked up where I left off before January and dove into the work that I love so much. Shortly after, Eric, Nicole, and I started working with our recipe testing group (about 40 incredible testers strong!), and things have been going better than I could’ve imagined. The recipes are so delicious…my testers are telling me it’s my best collection of recipes to date. I’m so proud of it and I’m nearly finished, only about 1 month away from handing in my manuscript. Once my manuscript is in, I’m going to be diving into the food photography, which I’ll be shooting for this 3rd book. I’m a bit nervous at the prospect of shooting 100 photos in 2 months time, but I’ll get there, one day at a time! It will be fun to shift from recipe creation and writing to something so artistic like photography. 

The cookbook is going to focus on something you all have been asking for more and more of over the years, and that’s more dinner and lunch recipes! It’s mostly going to focus on savory recipes, with a dessert chapter, of course (how could I not include a dessert chapter?). It’s going to feature food you’ll want to make for weeknight dinners, weekend meals, portable work/school lunches, and special holidays and occasions. Gah. There are so many gems. It’s slated to be out fall 2020, so not too long to wait (at least in the publishing world, this feels SO soon)!! If there’s anything you’d love to see in the book, please leave a comment below and let me know!! 

Thanks for listening and for your support through the ups and downs of life. I’m so grateful you’re here as I’ve felt like a big ‘ol failure on the blogging front this year. It’s time to shake the guilt and move onward and upward. And if you’re reading this and struggling too, I’m sending you all the love in the world and hope you can find a support system!

This is my first ever vegan ice cream recipe on the blog (can you believe it?!), and oh dear me, it’s one we can’t stop eating. I’ve been in a bit of a vegan ice cream bender since I bought this Cuisinart ice cream machine in the spring. It’s so much easier to use than I thought! Almost too easy. 

Happy Canada Day long weekend to my Canadian Friends! And happy 4th of July to my American friends! Have a safe, happy, and delicious weekend, everyone.

Obsession-Worthy Peanut Butter Cookie Ice Cream

Vegan, gluten-free, oil-free

This is my favourite kind of summer indulgence! My reader-favourite Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies meet my dreamy homemade peanut butter and coconut milk ice cream in this cooling summer treat. Chewy coconut, snappy chocolate chips, and tender bites of soft peanut butter cookies blend perfectly with a creamy vanilla and peanut butter vegan ice cream. If I’d known how simple it was to make my own vegan ice cream (only 5 ingredients!), I would’ve invested in an ice cream machine long ago. Well, I’m making up for lost time now! The peanut butter ice cream is inspired by Cookie + Kate.

Yield 8 (1/2-cup) servings

Prep time 10 Minutes

Cook time 12 Minutes

Chill time overnight (ice cream bowl) + 30 minutes

Total time 22 Minutes

Ingredients:

1 batch Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies, divided

2 (14-ounce/398 mL) cans full-fat coconut milk*

1/2 cup (105 g) natural cane sugar

3 tablespoons (45 mL) smooth natural peanut butter

2 teaspoons (10 mL) pure vanilla extract

1/4 + 1/8 teaspoon fine sea salt, or to taste

Directions:

Chill the ice cream bowl in the freezer overnight, or for at least 12 hours. This step is very important to ensure the ice cream thickens properly. 

Prepare the Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies. After baking, cool the cookies for 10 to 15 minutes, then transfer each one to a plate. Place in the freezer on a flat surface for a minimum of 25 minutes. As soon as you transfer the cookies to the freezer, get started on the ice cream.

Add the ice cream ingredients (entire cans of coconut milk, sugar, peanut butter, vanilla, and salt) to a blender and blend for about 8 to 10 seconds, until smooth (be sure not to blend longer than 10 seconds, as it may effect the final texture of your ice cream). 

Place the frozen ice cream bowl into the ice cream maker, insert the churning arm, cover with the lid, and turn on the machine (if the instructions for your ice cream maker are different, please follow the directions that came with your machine). Slowly pour the mixture into the bowl as it churns. Churn for about 22 minutes, until the mixture has thickened into a very thin, soft-serve texture. 

Once the cookies have been in the freezer for 25 minutes, chop 6 of the cookies into small, almond-sized chunks. Reserve the remaining 7 cookies, at room temperature, for later.

After 22 minutes of churning, slowly add the chopped cookies, a handful at a time, to the mixture while the machine is still churning. I like to use a fork to gently push the chopped cookies into the ice cream and help it along. Churn another 5 to 8 minutes, until the ice cream has thickened a bit more. It will have a thick, soft-serve texture when ready. There will be some hardened ice cream along the inside of the bowl...I like to think of this as the chef’s extra helping (wink, wink)! Serve immediately, or for a firmer texture, transfer the ice cream to a loaf pan or airtight container and spread out smooth. At this stage, I like to crumble an extra cookie all over the top (and gently push it into the ice cream) to make it look extra-enticing, but this is optional. Cover and freeze for 2 hours for a more traditional ice cream firmness. 

To serve, scoop into bowls or ice cream cones. Or, if you're feeling wild, make ice cream sandwiches with the leftover cookies...oh yea!!

Storage tip: Leftovers can be stored in an airtight container in the freezer for 3 to 4 weeks. Be sure to cover the ice cream with a piece of wrap to prevent freezer burn. To soften, let the container rest on the counter for 20 to 30 minutes before scooping.

Tips:

* The cans of coconut milk do not need to be chilled beforehand.

  Always follow the directions that come with your ice cream maker as there may be slight variations. My churning time is an estimate only; you may find you need more or less time with your machine! Watch closely during the last few minutes of churning. It it still looks too soft, feel free to let it churn a bit longer than the range I provide.

  This is the ice cream maker that I use and love. Pro tip: This machine is a bit noisy once the mixture starts to thicken, so I like to keep the machine in a nearby room with the door closed while it churns (don't worry, my machine doesn't seem too offended and still makes great ice cream!).

  No ice cream maker? No problem! The blended liquid can be poured into popsicle molds for creamy frozen popsicle treats. Simply add the blended liquid to each popsicle mold, leaving at least an inch of room at the top. Now, carefully add some cookie chunks to each, pushing them down slowly into the liquid. If needed, add a bit more liquid to completely fill each mold. Secure the tops and freeze until solid. Run the popsicles under hot water to loosen them from the molds.

Want to torture a person? Give them an ice cream cone on a hot day, and tell them they can’t eat it until you’ve snapped a good pic. bahaha.

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[hartsholmecc-blog]

“Life is too short to be cool…”

So … When it comes to sport … How sad is sad … and what are the acceptable levels of geekiness & obsession before you become a busy wanker and everyone thinks you’re a tool.

I personally feel I am seriously flirting with the boundaries of this at the moment. It’s all well and good to love your sport and chuck your heart and soul into it. But that quickly borders on the obsessive and can quite easily rub people up the wrong way.

I have always tried to use this as a captaining technique; hopefully people see your passion and drive and therefore follow more readily. But if you’re a boring twat with an unhealthy obsession, I can imagine it would also start to do the opposite and push people away too.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t think we’re quite there yet. But it’s an interesting notion none the less.

The thing that triggered my thinking was a recent purchase that I made, and the obvious piss taking I received as a consequence.

I am also very aware that if I am prepared to share my views on others actions and criticise their decisions/behaviours, then it is only fair that I don’t hold anything back on my own frailties and embarrassments too! Let’s try not to be too biased and hypocritical …

So I was sat in my man room … cricket themed obviously …

(HCC canvasses adorn the walls, a Tele placed front and centre so as Milly doesn’t have to put up with any cricket being watched in the lounge, a large sofa, a couple of cricket balls on the floor etc. etc. It’s so solely focused that my 2 year old calls it “cricket room”)

In the corner are all of my trophy’s, aligned anally upon little corner shelves (I know, I’m a 30 year old man, who displays his cricket trophies front and centre in, what basically equates to, his play room … it gets worse).

Well, it has been a long term gripe of mine that my collection isn’t complete;

Hartsholme CC doesn’t provide small keep sake trophies/medallions/shields when they give an award. They give the award out at presentation evening, name engraved on it, you keep it for a year and then give it back. Pretty standard, not the worst thing in the world, but slightly stingy (in my humble view of course).

Now … sat there in my man room, a couple of drinks down and thinking that this needs rectifying, can you have a guess at what I did. (Again, ill remind everyone that I’m a 30 year old man, a father, married, living in my own house, with an adult job).

Well … I ordered my own keep sake trophies on the internet … and had them engraved with the award/date/name etc. (I’m sorry!!!)

Now, in my own mind I was merely righting a wrong that has been occurring over the last couple of decades. As well as evening out the terrible imbalance created in my weird obsessive compulsive mind and completing an unsatisfactory display.

You know what, I don’t think anyone would even disagree with me that they should be handed out in the first place. Nor would anyone begrudge us ensuring they are given out in the future. But my god they would think it was odd to supply yourself with your own trophies.

When you put it in black and white and simplify it, what I have effectively done is … BUY AND ENGRAVE MY OWN TROPHIES!

Fuck me it sounds sad when you say it like that.

In my defence, they were about £2.80 each, with about £3 chucked on for delivery, and as I was only missing 4 it cost around the £16/£17 mark.

They are very basic, little keep sakes and I shouldn’t have had to do it in the first place, but I agree … it’s an inexcusably depressing thing to do.

Of course my personality means that I find this kind of weirdness hilarious. So I had to immediately share what I had done with people.

At first I only told Bob and Sven, which resulted in taking the appropriate amount of abuse. Bob just found it hilarious at how sad I had been … but Sven … I think he genuinely felt sorry and embarrassed for me, the obvious pity in his texts being laced through every line. It was almost as if he didn’t want to talk about what a massive loser I was!

I then told the HCC group, a couple of other cricket mates, and finally brought it up at selection committee. The funniest reaction being Phillo’s (serious player back in the day) “fuck me, I don’t think I’d be able to even get all of mine out on display” … this is the cricketing equivalent of standing next to someone in the shower with your massive dick swinging away next to his tiny todger.

Emasculated to say the least.

General consensus … yes we definitely need to provide keep sakes considering how cheap they are … however I am now the biggest bell-end going for back dating trophies and buying my own …

Fair I would say …. But I don’t regret it for a minute!

The conversation of being too keen, too observant and all together a bit of a complete spud, cropped up again not long after.

Upon completion of the new club handbook, Bob had sent it over to me for a proof read (decent book btw! Does just what it should). I had a quick whip through and said it was great.

Well after they had been handed out and I had my own copy I gave it a proper read. I had missed a couple of bits (Bob was fuming), but nothing major (The chairman’s welcome was not allowed to be proof read! So those errors have nothing to do with me … My Captains welcome was, however, a work of art!).

The one thing I did pick up on though … it had so CLEARLY been composed by a bowler. The reason being that no batsman would have ever listed people who had scored 50-80 runs for the season in the batting stats … they would have ensured that minimum qualification applied and cut out all the high averages who have batted about twice. A Bowlers view, “nope! In they go gents!”

I of course messaged Bob this little observation, finding myself hilarious whilst doing so, and he wound up tighter than a spring in no time!

He gave me a couple of bullshit reasons like ‘filling space’ but eventually just highlighted how sad it was that I noticed …

“Also you will be the only person that brings this up – 100% - unless you get in someone’s ear’

Well … “someone’s ear” … listen up! I find it nicely convenient that the big man scored 80 odd 1st team runs in 4 innings batting at 8/9 or 10 and gets himself in the averages ;) … nicely done Bobby

But again, jokes aside, it does highlight my need to obsessively chuck myself into something, reading it multiple times and checking tiny details. Then once I’ve checked them I just HAVE to bring them to the surface, whether in jest or not, it’s all a bit sad isn’t it!?

So … am I bordering on the obsessive? Do I need to take a step back? The fact that I am writing a cricketing diary would probably indicate that I do …

So keep tabs on me … bring me back from the edge should I need it … but most of all, pity me, as I don’t think I can ever change.

Feedback from last entry

Well … thank god I have a tough skin. Discussing legends was definitely a touchy subject to a few!

The general consensus was that I was pretty much spot on (well clearly).

However it was generally agreed that I was only correct based on my personal assumptions/definitions of the word legend.

Other people had different definitions and therefore slightly differing answers. Far enough … I can agree with that, and I can see their points of view. The really annoying people however are those who get aggravated by a certain opinion and just cannot see that it is totally based on a personal interpretation of an individual word, so everything around it is biased and has numerous caveats attached.

All you have to do is alter the definition, explain your reasoning, give your answers … and you are also correct!

Oh well, simple people can often struggle with matters based on fluid opinion and changing goal post … the anger descends and they can’t see the wood for the trees.

We’ll maybe have to return to this at a later date, just to rock the boat again!

04/03 – Initial Selection meeting

So it’s over a month until the first game … and Bunny calls a selection meeting…

What ... a … twat!

In attendance – Myself, Bobby, Phillo, Bunny & TP (Can’t believe he turned up, and on time! hates punctuality that lad).

To be honest, I am not in the mood, and can see my Sunday evening being totally wasted!

The reasons he stated were to talk us through the rule changes and to discuss where we are at with player numbers.

Well I can write a list of names at home, and you could talk me through the rule changes the week before the season starts … not a month out!

Or … I could just read the sodding things … oh wait, I have, because I’m a sad fucker.

Then, to add insult to my already foul mood, he sits down and says ‘oh, did I call this meeting’. Yes Adrian … yes, you fucking did.

Anyway, after he has talked through the rule changes and summarised peoples disdain with having to be there we learn (as we already knew) that they basically just equate to ‘make sure you’re not a dick head, or you will get punished’ … enlightening

And the squad situation ‘isn’t terrible but could be better’.

Well that was worthwhile … let’s leave the next one until the week before we have a game maybe …

And they say that I’m keen!!

10/03 – Winter Nets

What a turn out!

I 100% guarantee that this will be the most heavily attended net of the winter, possibly even the summer. Both nets full … people doing fielding drills … and even a new player to train!

We even had the old stallion Jay-bone turn up! Bad back ‘n all! He didn’t look like he’d missed a beat through injury and immediately dropped his floaty drifters on a length and shaped up nicely when batting. (Probably with another new stick, the blokes obsessed).

The new lad looks like he’ll come back and would be a decent addition, which is good news as we really need it following selection. And to be fair, he was meant to just show his face and be polite, as he had to run off and fit a cooker half way through! But ended up netting for an hour! Decent commitment there young man!

Recruitment as a whole has been a nightmare this winter. What with the issues surrounding the overseas players everyone seems to have been focusing hard on recruiting locally … but they don’t seem to be out there! What with failing numbers in involvement and a lack of youth coming through the whole sport seems to be taking a real hit.

My tactic … keep what you have got!

Whilst other people are trying to coax very average players out of their current clubs for false promises and in some cases cash, I reckon that we are better served keeping hold of those already loyal to us.

If we went into the season with last year’s team plus a ridiculous overseas, we should go up! If we don’t then there’s no one else to blame but ourselves.

After chatting with a couple of opposing captains it seems that everyone is in the same boat … so may the best club win.

10/03 – Quiz Night

Firstly, we nearly won!

Secondly, we were the top of the cricket teams!

Thirdly, Wooly & Aj’s team couldn’t answer ‘how many teams are in the T20 Blast this year’ … come on lads! Just count the counties!

It was seriously well attended, not that I’m surprised as Nick always does a good job at the shed getting the locals in. But there were a lot of cricketers there too!

Our team consisted of Bosworth x2, Thorpe x2, Lewy & Phil Brown.

We called ourselves something shit and not funny through panic, and then as soon as we had submitted our name realised that we should have called ourselves ‘Philma Brown’ … gutted and the usage of an anal pun totally missed! 

In all honesty if I hadn’t bottled a couple of answers then we would have won, and didn’t Thorpey tell me about it!

Saying the correct answers then second guessing yourself is piss poor and I won’t forgive myself for a while! Those boxes of Corona were ripe for the taking!

Sven came bottom and won free shots, so he was happy!

The best thing that came out of it was my old mate ‘Pumba’ (all I’ll say is, he isn’t a small bloke) attending. He was shoved in Woollys team and after they had plied him with a few Guinness’ got him to agree to be our season mascot.

We are going to take the lad out on the town, dressed as the Hartsholme lion … I cannot wait!!!!

Milly got excited that there was nearly a fight between two women! …

And then we went home, the perils of having to relieve the babysitters! 

18/03 – Winter Nets

Poor turn out but it was quite useful to those who attended.

The only real thing of interest; I wore one on the foot and now have three black toes.

I basically missed the slowest yorker ever delivered, played way too early, and round it. Fuck me it hurt though! Bob, deliverer of said ball, found it absolutely hilarious! I did very well not to lose my head and give him the nibble he was craving for. The only saving grace was that Sven received the exact same delivery about half an hour later, with the same result. As Browny described ‘he jumped about and rolled around on the floor with some serious style’.

I have also finally found someone with a strong enough arm to mimic a quick seamer!

JT throwing onto the catch-it, FUK ME SIDEWAYS, that thing flew.

Sore hands and a few calluses coming, and trust me, it has to be from the catching because I am about the least practical man around.

Individual prices are also out for the coming season of the HCC fantasy league. Thankfully I have gone up, which helps my ego of course.

Some, however, have gone down…

Quote of the day –

(Bosworth to Brown) … ‘You’re the same price as Thorpey now’

(Brown in response) … ‘Fuck me, well that’s a reason to retire right there!’

[ronaldmrashid]

Financial Samurai Mid-Year 2017 Investment Review

To eliminate financial distortion, make sure I’m within my risk tolerance band, and push myself to continuously reinvest cash flow in order to survive permanent unemployment, every quarter I’ll be reviewing my investments. I’ve found that after even just a couple months, if I don’t write things down, I simply cannot remember how much and what I invested in.

For the past five years, my goal has been to earn a conservative 4% – 6% yearly return on my overall net worth given I reached my target number. It felt so amazing to escape the rat race in 2012, I was comfortable with what I had. Now, however, thanks to hedonic adaption, I’ve become used to the freedom and have turned greedier with my desired returns.

Today I’m shooting for a 10% yearly return based on my following new money investment allocation for 1H2017: 57.4% Real Estate Crowdfunding (10% target return), 11.27% Bonds (4% target return), 9.41% Stocks (10% target return), Venture Debt 3.3% (12% target return), 8.27% Mortgage (4.25% return), and Home Improvement 10% (20% return).

Let’s dig deeper into the numbers!

Financial Samurai Mid-Year 2017 Investment Review

April Investments

Stocks: Purchased $10,000 of Netflix at $141/share after 1Q results. At the time it felt a little painful to purchase since my original position was at $92/share. But I loved their portfolio of original content despite their massive cash hemorrhaging. Their business is sticky and inelastic. They can easily raise prices by 20% a month and lose less than 20% of their customer base to increase revenue. Reed Hastings, the founder, spoke at my 2006 Berkeley-Haas MBA commencement. Wish I had put my life savings in the name at the time!

Mortgage: Paid down $3,000 of my 4.25% Lake Tahoe vacation property mortgage. My goal is to pay random small amounts each month so that I feel no pain paying down my worst investment ever. If I see a Bank of America branch on my way back from lunch, I may swing by and pay down whatever is in my wallet. The goal is to pay the $346,000 mortgage off by June 15, 2022.

Real Estate Crowdfunding: I invested $250,000 in the RealtyShares fund in January 2017. Instead of inputting the entire $250,000 in January, I spread it out over a six month period. It’s really just accounting as I didn’t know exactly how quickly they’d be able to invest in the 10+ deals they have in their mandate.

In April, the fund made a $600,000 investment in the acquisition and renovation of College Town Tucson, an 88-unit, 247-bed student housing apartment complex several blocks from the main campus of the University of Arizona in Tucson, AZ. Constructed in 1972 and partially renovated in 2006 and 2013, the Property consists of a mix of two, three and four-bedroom units and includes amenities such as a clubhouse, fitness center, swimming pool and property-wide Wi-Fi.

I’ve always wanted to gain exposure to an apartment complex in a college town due to the consistent high demand. I just never wanted to physically own and manage such a property due to the frequent turnover. Can you imagine what a PITA is to be a landlord of a student housing complex?

I can imagine all the parties in the hot tub now. IRR target: 16.5%. 5-year hold. $20K minimum investment. Reminds me of a scene from Breaking Bad.

Home Improvement: After my landscaper finished my backyard, I asked him to landscape my side yards and front yard. I was extremely pleased with his workmanship and his price. As a result, I referred him to a friend who hired him to do ~$25,000 of work. I’m now 100% done with my home remodeling/expansion projects for the fixer which I bought in early 2014. It was a long journey due to the complexities of the inspection system and the idiosyncrasies of each contractor.

May Investments

Bonds: Invested $26,600 in two, 20-year maturity, California municipal bonds with a yield to worst of 3.8%. Based on my estimated 32% effective tax rate (federal and state), the gross yield is therefore 5.5%. Instead of putting more into bond funds, like I did between November 2016 – January 2017, I decided to focus more on individual bonds so that I know I’ll get par value ($100/share) back upon maturity plus the coupon payments for all those years.

Many bond funds have rallied back to pre-election levels, so I felt hesitant allocating more money. If you add 1.5% for the 6-month yield to the principal appreciation so far, we’re talking a pretty healthy ~6% total rate of return.

Related: The Case For Buying Bonds

Municipal bond returns YTD are not bad once you include the coupon payment

Mortgage: Paid down another $5,000 of my 4.25% Lake Tahoe vacation property mortgage. I decided to rationally no longer pay down my 2.375% rental home mortgage and my 2.5% primary home mortgage until the Lake Tahoe vacation property mortgage is paid off.

Real Estate Crowdfunding: The RealtyShares fund made a $700,000 common equity investment in the Virginia Crossing Hotel and Conference Center, a full-service hotel located in Glen Allen, Virginia.

Opened in 2001, the Hotel comprises three colonial-style buildings with guest amenities, including 2 full-service restaurants, an outdoor swimming pool, fitness center, 24 conference rooms and a 4,700 SF ballroom. The Hotel is located adjacent to The Crossings Golf Club, one of the greater Richmond area’s premier semi-private courses, and is strategically located at the convergence of Interstates 95 and 295.

I’m very excited about this acquisition and repositioning because there’s a special place in my heart for southern Virginia since I went to school 40 minutes south of this hotel at The College of William & Mary. I love colonial style buildings and would happily retire in Williamsburg for three months of the year if I wasn’t living on the west coast.

Home improvement: I decided to fulfill my dream of getting a hot tub for $15,825 now that the back yard is done. The whole process took nine months since I first visited the show room. Since installation, I’ve averaged about five hours a week in the hot tub. The maintenance is easier than expected. What is kind of scary is how much home improvement costs add up. I can see how a homeowner can spend an endless amount of money upgrading their home if they don’t set a limit. I’ll be putting together a home remodeling guide in the future.

June Investments

Venture Debt: I received a capital call of $3,001 for my second venture debt fund investment. For these types of funds, you commit a certain amount of money, and the fund will call a percentage of your commitment over a certain period of time, usually within two years. The first venture debt fund I invested in almost three years ago is looking like it will return 13% a year net of fees because they’ve almost returned all the capital. As a result, I’m considering investing more capital into the second fund now that the guys have even more experience and a larger fund to spread out the expenses.

Mortgage: I was paralyzed with what to do in June since bonds and stocks did well, so I decided to pay down $22,000 more of 4.25% mortgage debt. When in doubt, pay down debt.

Related: Debt Optimization Framework For Financial Independence

Real Estate Crowdfunding: The RealtyShares fund approved a $775,000 JV equity investment in the Sheraton Dallas Forth Worth Airport Hotel, a 302-key full-service hotel located in Irving, Texas. DFW International Airport is ranked the 4th busiest airport in the US, and the DFW region is booming. The Hotel is approximately 15 miles northwest of downtown Dallas, one the region’s largest employment centers.

I’m bullish on the heartland of America. The fund had already made an Austin, Texas multi-family residential property investment in December 2016, and I was hoping they’d continue to invest more in Texas. The Dallas area has one of the most robust income growth trends in the nation.

Capital Commitment Review

$272,426 of new capital was put to work in 2Q, which equates to $90,808 a month on average. This figure surpasses my goal of $30,000 – $50,000 a month, but it’s due to arbitrarily spreading out my original $250,000 RealtyShares investment across six months.

If I take out the entire $250,000 real estate crowdfunding investment, I ended up investing $32,333 a month on average. With a baby on the way, I knew I wouldn’t have as much time to focus on my investments this quarter. Hence, I knew that if I invested in nothing else, I would average $41,667 a month for six months ($250,000 / 6 months).

When income generation is good, it’s important to stay disciplined and maximize your investments in order to prevent lifestyle inflation. Pay yourself AND your investments first! When difficult times inevitably come, your investments will hopefully carry you through until the next bull run.

Pro Forma Performance Analysis

I’ve allocated capital to achieve a potential 10% objective return based on my risk tolerance (green). Of the $435,571 in 1H invested capital, I’m looking to return roughly $42,744 based on my base case objective.

I’ve also included my current estimated returns, which comes out to about 15% (blue). The only thing that looks aggressive is a 50% return on Home Improvement. But the 50% return could be conservative because competing landscaping bids were 100% – 150% higher since my guy did the job as a side hustle for cash. For example, one competing landscaper quoted me $50,000 to do my front yard, and my guy did it for $17,000, including materials. Further, it’s a bull market on the west side of SF. Remodeled houses are going for tremendous premiums.

Although the RealtyShares fund has a 15% target IRR over five years, and all three investments in 2Q2017 have target IRRs greater than 15%, I’m keeping the current estimated return at 10%. All the deals are equity deals, so it’s good to stay conservative until there are exits.

Bonds have done very well as you saw in the chart above, and my stock returns have been solid due to investments in Amazon in 1Q and Netflix in early 2Q. Due to valuations, I still can’t get excited about putting a large allocation into stocks, so I’ll just wait for a pull back if one ever comes to invest a more meaningful amount of capital. At least I didn’t short the market!

Going forward, my Home Improvement weighting will decline, but my Real Estate Crowdfunding, Bonds, and Venture Debt weightings will increase. The total return target will still be 10% a year.

My biggest financial fear is not a bear market, but a precipitous decline in income. I feel like a young man again because contributions are currently far surpassing returns. I also want to have enough fire power to invest during a downturn. Therefore, despite the constant sleep deprivation of being a new father, I promise to keep slicing away. After all, a 50% increase in family size warrants a 50% higher wealth target right? Let’s rock.

Related: Ranking The Best Passive Income Investments

Readers, what type of investments did you make in 2Q2017? How are you feeling about the current investing environment environment? Any risks you see from my 2Q2017 asset allocation? Where can everything go wrong? I will might put together a mid-year passive income report as well.

Graphic by https://ckongsavage.com/

from http://www.financialsamurai.com/financial-samurai-2q2017-investment-review/

[ryanellisphoto]

#67 — Saturday, May 27th, 2017 — Detroit Street Photography Session #67 — Ryan Ellis Photography — Walk and Talk to Tyros #003 — DEMF / Movement / Underground — Street Portraits

10:30 AM until 9:30 PM — 11 admirable hours in the city I am learning to appreciate — 913 photos — 66 videos — 166 “keepers” among photos (18.18% success rate [10% success is my minimum goal]) — I wanted to somewhat evenly capture people, places, and things, but since the city had an event with so many interesting folks in attendance, I found myself chasing the best photos (portraits) as opposed to the most photos of my preliminary targets. — Inspirational track this week: Andrew Luce - “Trouble”

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First things first, I shot on Friday (yesterday), and that lasted until the wee hours of the morning. Needless to say, I was tired today, and I could only muster the strength to come into the city by 10:30 AM. I do not think I have mentioned this before. All of my nerves are longer than their encasing areas, which makes me double jointed everywhere. It also means that it is easier to injure myself, and some injuries will never heal (nerves may become painfully entangled) without surgery. It is called “Morton’s Neuroma.” Hahaha. It makes for odd physical experiences. Sometimes when I walk, my knee gives out. It is quick enough to make me look a bit crazy. Haha. The same goes with my jaw. It will lock often when I am eating, and I have to reset it. Well, long story long, I stubbed a toe on my left foot a few years ago, and it never healed. An X-Ray showed that the nerve was bunched up, which is when I learned about the condition. It is a common condition to be found alongside my Marfan’s Syndrome (which makes me so tall and boney). The pediatrist said it was as if my foot was broken. He said my options were either surgery or a molded shoe insert. I went with the insert, since surgery risked worsening the situation. I only have one pair of inserts, and to walk for very long without them makes me want to cut off my own toe, so I had to stop by the shoe store (Red Wing Shoes), which had both my pairs of boots in for reconditioning (one of which had the inserts in them), to get my shoes for today’s shoot.

Another thing that I am not sure whether I have shared on here before is part of my core way of thinking. My favorite book in the Bible is Proverbs. I also love its lesser (in my opinion) “sequel” Ecclesiastes. I love the terseness of the verses as well as the self-contained nature of their hermeneutical structure. The Proverbs live in my brain like the words of Christ lived in sanitarium-ridden Friedrich Nietzsche’s mind as he wasted away. I cannot shake them, and they hang over my head despite my best efforts at times to do other than what they command.

Ecclesiastes 9:8 (ESV) — 8 Let your garments be always white. Let not oil be lacking on your head.

I was always intrigued by this verse from Solomon. I remember my time with the smartest person I have ever met. She had an IQ of 170 at age 14. We tested together. Mine was good but not that good (at age 16). Statistically, at the time, there were 300 others as smart as her in the whole of America. We had wonderful conversations over countless days and nights. We shared a similar story from our lives. When I was young, I shared a room with my brother. Our parents stupidly put up lithographs of early 1900’s circus posters in our room. I am talking about candlelight-uplit smiling clowns. I am not afraid of clowns and have never been afraid of them, but I never looked directly at the posters. They just did not sit right with me as a little kid. Months later, my birthday was coming up, and my mother asked what I wanted for my birthday. I told her, without hesitation, that I wanted the color orange. She said she could not give me a color for my birthday and walked away. The day finally came. She threw me a clown-themed birthday party. Needless to say, I felt I had been betrayed by the color orange, though I did not want to do away with it entirely, so I had to pick a new favorite color to unseat it. I heard that blue was for boys, and since I was a boy, I chose blue. A decade later, I was talking to this smart, smart girl, and she told me the same story, except she had asked for the color white. Knowing her vastly-superior intellect, I secretly committed that white would be my third favorite, respective, color, behind blue and orange. I put forth from then on to make myself appreciate the color white more.

Uniting the almost boundless wisdom of Solomon with the exquisite intelligence of this girl, I chose to wear a white shirt today in the city. Many times, I have bought bright and colorful clothes in keeping with that verse from Ecclesiastes. I want to look happy and be happy and spread happiness. Like the color white, often that goal is something to adjust myself to. I am not, per se, a naturally happy individual, but it is an apex that is not sanely despised when pursued in purity, which is a yet higher zenith to conquer.

Hahahaha. Oh, how long my posts are when they are written quickly!

So, to recap, I wore a white shirt and went to the store for my shoes—I have not even arrived in Detroit yet! Hahahahaha!

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John Owen (a man in my top ten folks of the last 2000 years), eat your heart out. I can ramble with the best of them.

I arrived in Detroit at about 10:30 AM. The perfectionist that I am, I decided to continue the Walk and Talk series instead of returning to a structured lesson. This is because I want to keep doing it while it is fresh on my mind, and I want to find a voice in its approach that I know how to replicate time and again before I am comfortable returning to the other approach.

Between last week and this week, I have spent at least nine hours hand sewing my new (old) camera strap I was given for my new (old) camera (Nikon D600). I am trying to work on a video for this. It is wonderful. It is really good. I should sell straps like it online, except it takes nine hours (for me) to sew one! I am going to be camping this coming week with my best friend since Kindergarten (we embody the Proverb of a friend that sticks closer than a brother; we are David and Jonathan [he can be David for all I care]), which means I will possibly not produce a video next week, since next Saturday is when I leave to come back home.

Oh boy…

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So, I arrived in Detroit at 10:30 AM (“we’re doing it live!” [I hope this unedited lengthiness gives an insight into what hair-brained rabbit trails are otherwise routinely cut when I write]).

My second and I stopped at a local bar with an outlet and ate fried food as my batteries recharged. We used that time to refine the plan for the day. I wanted another go at shooting nouns. I knew there was a music festival in town for the day, and with the good chance of there being many more interesting folks to photograph than anything else, I still kept the other two subjects (places and things) in the intro, because I figured I would be forgiven for straying from my starting plans if the “story” of the day with the people overshadowed all else. Maybe I was too unknowing or too safe to not have forced my stated (on video) plans to overtly coincide with the event for the day from the beginning. Presumption is not wise, so I started from a more achievable place with the nouns target.

Since the D600, which my assistant uses for video, is a worthy stills camera, my assistant was photographing my day out. She has a very good eye for composition. It certainly translates through her winding camera pans in the most recent videos. I have had a bunch of different people come with me through the past several months, and my evergreen joke is that people inevitably get better at photography and videography when they come out with me, but it is a long process. Certainly, she has improved over the past months when she has been with me. I always laugh when I have a new assistant with me that complains of the difficulty of our long, winding days out. Things always get better over time. If you stay with me, you will adjust for the better. Then, the real fun begins. Being able to express yourself through the camera is fulfilling.

I played chess with a man that went by “CDK.” He never elaborated on what it meant, and we had a few nice discussions on art and history and civilization among other things. He beat me at chess and bought my assistant and I each a Pepsi afterwards. What a good man! I will return to face him again in a couple weeks. That chess board is the Philippines, and I am General Douglas MacArthur.

Wanting to parody the flopped Pepsi ad, where a celebrity gave away a Pepsi, I gave away my Pepsi to one of the concert-goers just outside Hart Plaza, where the event was happening. There, I took many portraits while being filmed. I shot bracketed and with my exposure compensation up a stop to make up for the bright backlighting present at that time of the day. Later, I realized my camera was set to meter for a different focal length, and I was shooting at 1000 ISO instead of the proper 100 ISO. This made my photos look like they were on fire, hence some of the heavy use of monochrome in the pictures above. I always joke that when all else fails, make a blown photo black and white to “save” it. I had the ISO so high for photographing the chess game from before.

Last summer, I made this same mistake a few times; I forgot to dial down my ISO after leaving a shaded place. I told myself that I wanted to include some sort of physical indicator on my camera or lens to remind myself to change my ISO again. I still have to come up with what that might be. Maybe a bright hair tie that I will put on the focusing ring? Maybe a bright piece of tape on the lens or body? Basically, I want to get in the habit of putting a reminder on my camera when I raise my ISO that will tip me off that I should lower it when I leave a dark scene.

My assistant was pretty sunburned already after our first round with the attendees of the festival, and I was starting to get dizzy from lack of water, so we retreated to the shade for a spell to have water and a small meal. There, I spilled my coney dog on my white shirt! I went to a nearby bathroom and tried to scrub the stain with soap, but the damage was done. Haha.

When we returned for the second (and last) round of portraits with the concert goers, the police had arrived en masse to control rowdy folks. With the men were also drug-sniffing dogs. The cops had drugs on them that they kept hiding to continually test the dogs’ accuracy. When I finished the portraits and had crossed the street to leave the area, I saw an ambulance race to the festival grounds. A minute later, it was leaving, this time, with a police escort. Someone must have overdosed on drugs.

It had been a joke between my assistant and I all day to guess which folks we saw around us were on some sort of substance just by their clothes and posture. The ambulance brought a sad reality and end to the joking for the night. Not wanting to stay late in a city full of loaded youngsters (some of which, likely, drove there themselves), we drove home early to be safe.

I know that I could have gotten some amazing photos of the kids as the night went on, but we got worthy shots as it was. My desire for completeness will probably always bug me about leaving early. And that is where today’s story ends.