#I keep promising myself I'm not going to engage in the things that keep making me sad and yet here I am | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daincrediblegg · 7 months ago

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no you know what I'm going to scream about the stuff I talked about in the tags of this post publicly

I'm tired of the well-meaning "don't feel bad if your work only gets 20 notes your genius is what counts and do it for you!" bullshit. I've had a good handful of friends who have straight up DEACTIVATED in recent months because their work was not getting reblogged AT ALL. No, it wasn't from lack of not being well-liked, no it wasn't from lack of trying to make sure it was getting out there to the people they knew would engage with it. It was because no matter how much they were praised privately for their work, when push came to shove, absolutely NOBODY reblogged it and gave it the audience that it was due, and I'm tired of people shoving the "unsung genius" narrative as an excuse for it. Nothing excuses that. And the boop event really proved that.

because I know given the opportunity, indiscriminately pressing a button (sometimes 10 thousand times, as I did) is not beyond this website's capability. y'all loved doing that. and look at what it wrought. nothing but love and affection and happiness. just from a couple of quick clicks of a little paw button. sure. nobody knew who you booped but the other person (which is how likes used to work on this website, btw). there was an element of anonymity to it. but that is kind of the core of this website that no other social media platform still has: the ability to be anonymous. and hyper-curating a blog on here like you might on twitter or instagram to project an image is simply not viable. and hey. you wanna know a secret: literally nobody cares what you post or whether it goes with the "theme" of your blog or not. yeah. I know. CRAZY concept in this day and age. but literally. I myself have reblogged things that have had nothing to do with whatever I am currently fixated by and you know what happened to my follower count? not a damn thing. in fact, I actively try to reblog things specifically BECAUSE it's my friends who made them (even though I'm not always good at KEEPING UP WITH HOW MUCH THEY POST @prismatica-the-strange will NEVER GO UNRECOGNIZED by me).

And you know what fucking sucks? I have to deal with this too. surprise right? you ever wonder why I reblog fics or art I post like 20 times the day that I post them? do you ever wonder why I ask about tag lists and beg for asks all the time? IT'S BECAUSE EVEN I GET LIKE. 5 LIKES ON THE THINGS I POST. AND THE REST OF THE REBLOGS ARE MINE SO I CAN MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE WHAT I MAKE GET TO SEE IT. and I say that knowing that I'm certainly not an unpopular blog, or an unpopular writer. I know that people love the stories that I create. Hell, half of the people that I've talked to about lady terror have told me that they consider her to be canon (AND EVEN SOME!! THOUGHT SHE WAS!!! WITHOUT EVEN HAVING WATCHED THE SHOW! WHICH IS STILL SO SO WILD TO ME!!!) But especially in the last 4 years (which really dates this phenomenon), my posts, no matter how well received they've been amongst people I've talked to about them directly, I still go into the notes and at least half (often more than half) are MY reblogs to make sure people saw what I posted. and it happens every single time, and I can't tell you how much it crushes me considering that it used to be that I would be able to post it only once, and people would reblog it sometimes even HUNDREDS of times.

It's not about popularity. it never has been. it's not about anxiety. or shifting website cultures. even if you lurk, the simple fact is, that if you want people to keep making what you love. you have to reblog. your theme won't suffer because you reblogged a fanfiction that you really admire. your posting won't be ruined because you reblogged some fanart from someone in a different fandom. really. I promise. and if people do unfollow you for that? who needs em. followers come and go but you should NEVER have to cater to them. on this website it has ALWAYS been the other way around. lean into it. make it yours. put stuff you ACTUALLY WANT to be seen and that you love and appreciate on your blog. no matter how old it is, how new it is, no matter how niche or off-theme it is.

so please. if you really want to show your appreciation for someone's work? you reblog. it's really as easy as that. check the tags. add some when you reblog if you like. but please for the love of god reblog. it's as easy as booping and even more rewarding for the people who you reblog from. if you want to let someone know that their work is genius and appreciate it? show it. reblog. then DM them if you're too nervous to say what you want to say but not in a public forum. but for christ's sake. REBLOG.

#fanfiction #fanart #reblogging #boop

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takerfoxx · 6 months ago

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Miorine: How DARE you ruin my escape plan! You owe me for this! Take responsibility!

Suletta: Wow, you're cute.

Miorine: SO ARE YOU, BUT I'M STILL MAD!

...

Miorine: Congrats. We're engaged.

Suletta: But I'm a girl!

Miorine: ...yes, and?

...

Miorine: Don't worry, this is just a mutually beneficial arrangement. I'll help you adjust to school life around here, and you keep the other suitors off my back until I dip, then the engagement will be broken and you can do whatever you want.

Suletta: Okay, gucci.

Miorine: ...kind of actually want to gay marry you, though.

Suletta: What?

Miorine: Nothing! Idiot!

...

Miorine: How DARE those cheating assholes arrest Suletta! I'm going to go down there and give my lousy father a piece of my mind!

Feng Jun: You know, we can still take you to Earth. Actually, we can leave right now. No need to bother with all that other stuff.

Miorine: ...

Feng Jun: So, is that a yes?

Miorine: I've decided that I actually want to gay marry that girl. Take me to her!

...

Suletta beats Guel for the second time.

Miorine: I would let her do terrible things to me and thank her for it.

Shaddiq: What?

Miorine: Nothing!

...

Miorine: I will protect that girl, because I am her bride!

Suletta: Oh shit, I actually want to get gay married.

...

Miorine: Our communication SUCKS, but I really do need you and want you to need me too. Do you want to get gay married for real?

Suletta: YES!

...

Suletta makes tomato sauce of that guy.

Suletta: Ms. Miorine, I came to save you!

Miorine: That was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life! I have PTSD now! Kind of hot, though...

Suletta: What?

Miorine: Nothing! Murderer!

...

Miorine: Suletta, I'm breaking up with you, because you're a sap and I'm a bitch. Peace.

Suletta: NO! I WANT TO GET GAY MARRIED!

Miorine: ME TOO, DAMN IT! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF AND IT'S KILLING ME TO HAVE TO HURT YOU LIKE THIS, BUT I HAVE TO BREAK YOU AWAY FROM THIS HORRIBLE WORLD IF YOU WANT TO HAVE HALF A CHANCE OF LIVING A NORMAL LIFE, EVEN THOUGH I WILL HATE MYSELF EVERY DAY FOR HAVING TO DO THIS TO YOU!

Suletta: ...what.

Miorine: I mean...see yah, loser!

...

Suletta: Ms. Miorine, could you please come out?

Miorine: I'm the lowest of the low. I did terrible things to you and other people. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was only being used, and ended up hurting those closest to me for no reason. I'm a fool.

Suletta: So...do you still wanna get gay married?

Miorine: Yes, please.

...

Miorine headbutts Suletta

Miorine: Don't you dare die on me, idiot! We still need to get gay married!

Suletta: I swear to God, if I had working limbs and we didn't need these suits to survive the vacuum of space, I'd tear them right off of us and ravish you so hard it'll send you past Permet 8 and your dead tomato mom will feel it.

Miorine: What?

Suletta: You heard me.

Miorine: I'm taking that as a promise, then!

...

Suletta: So. We got gay married.

Miorine: Yes, we did.

Eri: Please don't make out sloppy-style again.

Miorine: We're doing it.

Eri: I'm still right here!

Miorine: Cope.

#gundam the witch from mercury #wfm #g witch #suletta mercury #miorine rembran #sulemio #suletta x miorine #this is how things went right?

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ventique18 · 6 months ago

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~ Thoughtless ~

Somehow you feel it. Maybe you're just letting things get to your head, but maybe. Just maybe.

Malleus is in love with you.

How can you not think that, when he comes by to see you almost everyday, or when he sometimes finds himself thoughtlessly tucking a stray hair away from your face. When his hands would naturally find their way to rest on your hip while you're busy baking something, and he would curiously watch from behind?

So when he carelessly lays his head on your lap one lazy afternoon, you find yourself blurting out "I think I'm in love with you." Just as naturally as is his intimacy is towards you.

He doesn't speak. Doesn't even laugh. He just thoughtlessly pulls you down and, clumsy and mismatched as they are, lets your lips wordlessly do the talking.

You're over the moon. How could you not be, when a person you thought was beyond your reach is hopelessly in love with you just as you are with him? You'll be spending your time as a couple from now on. Going on romantic dates together, greeting each other first thing in the morning, getting to know each other in a much, much more familiar depth. Maybe even considering... marriage.

There's an infinite things that you want to do with him. So many things that make you happy. You're happy.

... Until...

"I wonder what bouquet my betrothed prefers for our coming wedding?"

You overhear him as he strolls with Lilia.

Betrothed? As in, someone you promised to marry? He did say wedding.

What the hell.

He's already engaged to someone? And he still kissed you so passionately like that? All along, he was already meant to marry somebody else while he's fooling around touching you here and there, kissing you and pecking you and hugging you and... Is that why he didn't say he loved you when you confessed? He's just leading you on because he's bored?

That son of a--

Tears. Ugly tears. You scream furiously and cry miserably as you strangle and punt and wrangle your poor pillow at Ramshackle. Your best friends watch silently while they try to coax you with your favorite food and your favorite zero-substance comedy film. It works. Your mood lightens.

Until they go home, and he barges into your home with grin you wanted to sucker-punch off his ugly, cheating, demonic, monstrosity of a lying face.

"Why are you here?" You spit out.

His thick, slimy skin couldn't taste the venom in your words.

"Good evening," he giddily greets as he walks over to you-- almost prancing for god's sake, "I was wondering. What type of flowers do you like?"

"The hell are you on about? You think you can keep stringing me around? I'll fuck you up."

"Careful. I am exercising a deep self-restraint out of respect for you. But if you keep playing with me like this, telling jokes about 'fucking me'-- as people say nowadays-- I might truly end up debauching the sanctity of marriage."

You leer at him. What the hell is he yapping about?

"Fuck?"

He sits on the sofa beside you; as graceful as he always seems to be. No, actually. He sits as ugly as a bridge troll. "I see you are impatient. Truth be told, I am too. But we best wait until after graduation, at least. So before then, I would like to ask: what flowers would you prefer for our wedding? I rather wish to grow them myself."

"Our wed--"

And it clicks in your head.

'My betrothed.'

'What flowers would you like?'

'Our wedding.'

It's you. The betrothed is you.

You almost laugh out loud. Out of the silliness of it all, out of embarrassment perhaps, even out of relief. This guy. God, this guy. What a careless, thoughtless, whimsical, nonsensical, brainless guy. But somehow,

"I like wisteria."

It's just, so naturally, him.

"The flowers in full bloom when we first met."

#wrote a one shot short shot while on break #twisted wonderland #ventique rambles #malleus draconia #malleus x reader

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the-modern-typewriter · 1 year ago

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Hi ♥️ can I please request a small snippet which starts with the hero offering themselves to the villain instead of another victim (which was the intention of villain all along). I really love the powerful villain - struggling hero dynamic. Doesn’t need to be in a romantic way…

Sorry if this is oddly specific. Thank you so much for all your stories and snippets so far. They’re sooo good!!! ✨

The hero dodged into the villain's path.

The villain stopped. They looked down, at the hero's palms planted firmly on their chest, then to the hero's eyes.

The hero gulped. They dropped their hands, but didn't step aside.

"Take me instead."

"You." Power crackled off the villain; enough to make the hair on the hero's arms stand on end.

"I'm more valuable," the hero said, holding the villain's gaze. Their heart drummed wildly. "People would pay an awful lot of money for a go at me - you don't need them. I'm a much better ransom."

"And if I don't take you?" the villain asked.

"I'm also more fun."

The villain's lip curled. "And if I don't take you?"

Well, then they would have to fight. The hero was not remotely looking forward to that prospect. It wasn't that they couldn't hold their own - they knew perfectly well that they were generally considered one of the few people who could, when it came to the dazzling monstrosity before them. But, well.

The hero gulped again, squaring their shoulders. Their hands shot, gently, gently, to the villain's chest when the villain began to sidestep them.

The villain's head tilted.

The hero didn't drop their hands that time.

The villain's heartbeat was perfectly steady.

"I'm offering," the hero said.

The curl of the villain's lip sharped a fraction more; a scrap of paper burning up on a fire, containing all the world's most dangerous secrets. "Is that what you're doing right now?"

"Please," the hero said, quieter, just for the two of them.

"Maybe I don't want to ransom you," the villain said, in the same intimate murmur. Their eyes glittered in the city lights. "Maybe I'd rather keep you all to myself."

The hero's stomach swooped. "Just leave them alone."

"You're a predictable little thing, you know that?"

Realisation hit the hero, like the loud click of a lock turning. It didn't make any difference though. Wasn't that the point? To see the trap closing. To stand there anyway. It was already too late.

The hero had known that the villain could be persuaded to take them instead. The villain had known they would offer.

"So are you," the hero said, mouth dry. "In your way."

"My predictability doesn't make me lose." The villain's hand rose up, to cradle the hero's jaw. Their thumb grazed over the hero's skittering pulse. "It doesn't make me so reckless."

The hero shivered.

"There are power-blocking cuffs in my pocket," the villain said. "Take them out."

"You promise you'll leave everyone else alone?"

"You trust me to keep my promises?"

Yes. Not because of any particular honour, but because one did not get the devil's reputation for threats and bargains without proper follow through. "Promise me. Please."

"I promise that I'll leave them alone in this matter if I can have you instead."

It didn't save everyone and everything, the hero knew that. But it would spare the poor fool cowering behind them, braced for the end of all things. They reached into the villain's pocket like one might reach into a nest of vipers.

"Put them on," the villain said.

The hero did. Everything went muffled and sluggish as the auto-lock engaged. The villain's grip on their jaw kept them from crumbling, pitching forward, at the wave of overwhelming weakness that flooded them.

They could vaguely hear gasps, cries of alarm, hissed whispers behind them. Someone might have screamed 'no.' Someone might have been held back. The hero wasn't sure; they could feel their vision tunnelling a little at the edges.

They still held the villain's gaze.

"Good," the villain murmured. They pressed a kiss to the hero's forehead. Then they let go, abruptly.

The hero staggered. They hit their knees with a groan.

Powerless. It struck them that they'd made a terrible mistake. They hadn't expected it to feel like that.

The villain surveyed the crowd, for a beat. They said something - the hero's ears were ringing, they weren't sure what it was. The villain's fingers tangled idly into the hero's hair, then they started walking.

Being dragged hurt. The humiliation of it would have surely hurt, too, if the hero could concentrate on it.

The villain's car beeped it as it unlocked. They let go of the hero's hair. The hero slumped to the ground, reeling.

"Get in the car," the villain said. "Or I'll put you in the boot."

It seemed to take Herculean effort to climb into the passenger seat. It was almost a relief to slump there, sweat beading their forehead, body aching.

The villain got in too, on the driver's side. They took a moment to look the hero over. The power of them had always seemed enormous, but it felt like something else entirely then without the hero's own to match it. A devastating, crushing weight. An unstoppable force.

The villain reached over and clipped the hero's seatbelt in place. They cupped the hero's cheek again, drawing their attention, their scattershot focus.

"Leaving them alone was the least of the promises you should have insisted on," the villain said. "You panicked. You should know better."

The hero groaned again. Their head lilted into the soothing cup of the villain's fingers.

The villain let go, once more, left them bereft, and started the car.

They drove.

#heroes and villains #villains and heroes #hero #villain #writing #story #short story #writing snippet #creative writing

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nhasablogg · 4 days ago

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The end (again)

First of all I want to thank you all for following and engaging with me ever since I returned to this space. It's been, mostly, great. I've written some things I'm really proud of, and for that reason I'm reluctant to delete this blog like I did the last.

I think it's been obvious I've not been enjoying myself in a long time, except for the occasional few days when it's been fun to write and interact with people. Throughout this whole year I've been trying to convince myself that I can use this blog only when I want to and feel inspired to, and while it sometimes works it very often just leaves me frustrated as I try to make this space fun for myself again. I'm gonna try not to be too longwinded about this as I have the habit of being, so long story short, I'm going to leave this blog.

I won't be deleting anything, but I'll also not be using this blog anymore. I was debating just disappearing without saying anything, but I think that's rude when some of you have been so very kind. The one and only exception will be if I feel really inspired and write something I love and would like to share specifically on here (or maybe I'll just post them on AO3 if I feel like it). Since I won't feel pressured to use this blog I'm sure that experience will be authentic and beautiful and rare. I want to focus on writing outside of this space, as I keep putting my energy here and not where I'd like it to be. There are lots of things going on in my life right now and I'd like to try to regain some control by using my free time intentionally in order to become the version of myself I'm striving toward. This blog is, unfortunately, not part of that version.

I still have a few prompts I want to fill, and a few WIPs I want to finish/post anyway, so I'm not disappearing just yet. When I say disappear, I'm not sure if I mean that I won't ever be logged in. I'm not entirely sure yet how I'm going to go about it, if I'm going to answer messages or turn asks off or what. I think, in the long run, asks will be turned off just so that I won't feel the urge to log in for the off chance someone has given me some attention. That's why I deleted the old blog, to keep myself from having one foot in there still.

I want to thank you for the lovely lovely time being back here. It's not been perfect, but that's not what I'm deciding to take with me this time. I want to remember writing Criminal Minds fics and Stranger Things fics and Red White and Royal Blue fics and Heartstopper fics, and how lovely you were about those fics. Revisiting fandoms and finding new ones and completing tickletober and having plans and ambitions for projects (even though I didn't always follow through, it's always nice having ambitions). I don't regret deleting the old blog and I don't regret creating this one. I think I probably needed to return, on my own terms, just like I'm now leaving on my own terms. I don't think I did that last time.

I keep rewriting this and looking at it and wondering if I will regret posting it. If posting it will somehow flip the switch and I will find so much joy here again and look like a fool. And if that happens, so be it. But I need to post this. I can't keep procrastinating. I have, in a way, been working up the nerve to say goodbye for the past year.

If you've ever commissioned a fic, I urge you to save it somewhere because I can't promise I won't randomly delete one day in the future either, if I realize it will be for the better (I guess the same goes for if you enjoy a fic and would like to be able to revisit it - but please don't share it anywhere else).

N over and out (well, once I finish those fics I still want to finish)

#text

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yandere-paramour · 19 days ago

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hi! i was reading your blog for quite a while, and wanted to say that i really enjoy reading things you write!! thank you so much, it gives me pretty much comfort during study days (hope that didn't sound weird)

anyway what are your thoughts on Darling who is in her 20s and still a uni student? (maybe some Atalanta headcanons... she is my fav)

No, I know EXACTLY what you mean, I'm clawing myself through grad school right now and I NEED my yandere accounts to keep me sane on those days when you have to lock in and study 6 hours. I'm really glad you like my writing, it makes me so happy that I am reaching people :)

Atalanta with a College Student

Of course, Ata takes you the second she finds you. She just can't help herself, she has to have her love near her

But after all your kicking and screaming and begging her not to interrupt your studies, she relents

The Montclairs highly prize education, and even though Atalanta wants you, she doesn't want to ruin your degree over it; she really doesn't want you to hate her

And you're so young, she doesn't want to ruin your university experience because of her own needs

So you and she decide on a compromise

You can stay at university and will continue to go to classes and be a good Darling, and in return she gets to be in your life

You will move into a safe apartment she picks for you with one of her trusted bodyguards, and they guard will accompany you (discretely) everywhere you go, for your own safety

Atalanta will come see you several times a week to get to know you and eventually you will graduate, she will become your girlfriend, and she will marry you

You, having no choice if you want to keep even a little freedom, agree

The apartment is gorgeous. No one will tell you the exact price but you can tell it is expensive. Everything is clean and modern, and you have a bedroom and an office to yourself. Atalanta says your areas for sleeping and working should be separate for your health

The guard is a really nice woman who basically watches over you, and it feels refreshing to go about your day unconcerned that anyone will harass or kidnap you

You never have to cook or clean, and anything you even mention wanting shows up at your apartment the next day

Atalanta even allows you to go out and have fun, provided you take the guard with you and you don't engage in any substances (which you weren't interested in anyway)

You have lots more time to study and sleep and engage in your hobbies, and you're eating better than you have since you were a toddler

The only thing you're unsure about is Atalanta

Four times a week you come home to find her sitting at your kitchen table, quietly working on documents while she waits for you

She always greets you with a smile and a hug, and you can't help but admit her hugs are warm and comforting

She asks about your day and eats with you, choosing to spend the evening doing whatever you want

She seems to be just happy to spend life in your presence, looking at you like you are the sun in the sky

She never overstays her welcome, she always knows when you're overwhelmed and you need her to leave.

She gently and chastely kisses your cheek and bids you goodbye, having a short word to your guard that you can't hear

You don't know how you feel about her

She's striking and thoughtful you certainly have some complicated feelings for her you try to work out underneath your blankets, but you're still a kid and you don't know if you're really ready for something like this

She's a beautiful, intelligent, queer CEO of a company that runs your city, and you're just... you. You don't know if you're really worthy of standing by her side.

In the car, Ata frowns at the sight on her phone. Her precious Darling is feeling... unloved? Undeserving? Inadequate? Ata won't stand for it.

A few texts to Noelle and Ata has arranged to take you out for dinner next week where she will present you with a promise ring, a symbol of her earnest devotion to you and her commitment to make you hers as soon as you graduate.

"Just you wait, Darling," Ata whispers to your visage on her phone as you blink your tears back, "Just a little longer. I'll make it all better soon."

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lo-fi-charming · 9 months ago

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so i've been keeping up with TMP as it's airing, which has been fun, it's actually really nice to experience this kind of story weekly since i came into TMA late and listened up to the s4 finale in like, a month or two. i've been enjoying the new characters and statements, and while i was worried i'd have trouble actively listening (my attention span/executive functioning can be really variable when it comes to podcasts), it's been surprisingly easy for me to actually listen to each new ep the day it drops publicly

all this to say im enjoying the show! but i've found myself feeling increasingly frustrated with a couple things i keep seeing when it comes to discussions of it

to me, it seems... there's been a pervasive reluctance to take TMP as what it is. and i do understand that. it'd be stupid to pretend TMP doesn't exist exclusively because of TMA and that show's success, that it's a successor that was pitched as being similar. it's a story being written by the same people (plus guests), in the same universe (roughly), going for about the same tone and maybe themes.

i just feel like it's a bit of a shame, though, that so many folks seem unwilling not to carry TMA with them when they're engaging with TMP

i don't know where or when it was said, but i swear there was a comment made by jonny and/or alex about how TMP will have some commonality with TMA in terms of world-building, but also, people who listened to TMA first may find themselves theorizing in the wrong direction because we're judging things based off what is no longer concrete, reliable information; things are going to work differently in the world of TMP, and since we have preconceived notions on what is relevant or how things work, that's going to influence how we engage with information presented in TMP if we let it. and that's not even considering the fact that they've been explicit in conveying the idea that TMP was written so you can experience it fully without having listened to any of TMA at all!

i'm very much someone who tries to engage with media on its own terms, largely taking things at face value until i'm given reason to suspect otherwise. that's something i'm trying my best to still do with TMP, even though obviously, i've also listened to TMA and am basing some of my thoughts and personal theories on what we know from that

but that's what i mean to say i guess, it's something you have to actively choose to do. and it feels like, just based on what i've been seeing in fandom spaces, that a lot of people are having a bit of an odd time with TMP because of a reluctance to do that?

i think the easiest way to explain what i mean is to point to a general acceptance, already on the level of fanon it seems, to interpret the computer voices as Our Jon and Martin (+ Jonah/Elias, maybe). now obviously we have the actual real world reason why their voices are present in TMP, because of course jonny and alex were going to come back as voices in the show in some way. and i 100% agree it's a perfectly logical conclusion to then interpret their inclusion as being related to Jon and Martin somehow. i'm personally very into the theory that it is in no way them - not in any way that matters - but specifically their voices that have been stolen (by the Web?) as a means to help spread fears in other realities. but that's really not how i've been seeing people play with the concept? it seems largely 1:1. and again, i totally understand where people are coming from with that - especially when you consider how it can be a super fun concept for horror and angst, or even just the fact that folks want an excuse to carry their favorite characters into this new show and still play around with them. i promise i don't mean to bring this up as a means of making anyone feel bad or like, chastised for interpreting things a certain way and playing in the space!

it's the biggest example of what i mean though, and was a huge point of frustration for me when we were first being presented with TMP. it's not just that i don't want the voices to be Jon and Martin proper (i am very into their Ambiguous End, i believe it's best to leave that as a space for fans to play in); in all honesty, i think it's kind of a shame and maybe even a bit boring (im sorry!) to be engaging with TMP this way

and it's not just stuff like that - i've been seeing a fair amount of people expressing frustration and feeling disappointed with how TMP is hitting, but i mean, i feel like that's inevitable when you're going into it expecting More TMA? i saw at least one person basically say "ive been waiting for it to make me feel the way TMA made me feel, and it hasn't yet", and i really just feel like that's setting yourself up to be dissatisfied! beyond the fact that we're only 5 episodes in and the story has barely gotten a chance to happen yet, a huge element of this new show is that it's being approached as a largely collaborative effort, it seems, with lots of guests coming in to help shape the story and more writing and plotting influence that isn't jonny

obviously it's fine to not be super into that! undoubtedly it's a question of taste. but you do have to acknowledge that that's the case and adjust your expectations accordingly, or else you're not going to have a great time

i really like TMA, i had a great time with it, but even if TMP is a sequel to its parent podcast, it's not the same thing - and personally, i don't want it to be! i do hope that's a sentiment that is able to be more widely felt by some fans as we gain more distance from TMA while TMP is airing. i just think more people would be able to enjoy it that way, and come up with more interesting theories and interpretations of things! but those are really just my own personal thoughts

#endlesschatter #tmagp #i just needed to express some of this #it's a bit tricky tho esp with the voices as jmart thing bc a lot of my buddies and pals are playing in that space #and i hate to sound like im vagueing or complaining i swear im not ;lskdjfljk it is truly so unserious in the end #it's just very much not my interpretation or desire to see canonized in any way #though i cant deny some of the arguments made in favor of that interpretation are compelling #and i mean if it's the case in canon! not like im gonna be mad at folks for calling it!!#might not be my favorite angle but could still be plenty fun!#but also yes yeah i just wrote a lot of words down just to say i think it might be nice. if.#the fandom at large didn't try putting a coat of TMA paint over TMP and interpreting everything that happens in a TMA-colored lens

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avatar4life · 4 months ago

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The triplets were looking at Jacaerys with immediate disdain in their eyes, but trying to keep it at bay as they remembered their mother's words to not engage in any conflict with them. Meanwhile, Jacaerys was looking at the three of them in shock and was also speechless as he never thought he would see them ever again after Reader left with them to go back home after their marriage got annuled. Behind Jacaerys were his five children from his remaining marriage with Baela, looking excited to meet their half siblings. The oldest of them stepped up and went towards the three of them, extended his hand "it is a pleasure to meet you" he said with a polite smile, masking his inner excitement, but soon it got shattered when the boy walked past him and hit his shoulder as he walks inside, mumbling curses. The girls looked at each children of Jacaerys and Baela's and then followed their brother inside the castle.

The children looked at each other confused and shocked by their hostility "rude" the oldest said as he and his siblings walked back inside for their duties.

Jacaerys, in the meantime, was still frozen in his place as he was processing that his three children from his former marriage with Reader are now in his home and with the rest of his family.

Soon it was time for dinner, the three of them walked on the halls towards the dining hall "I already hate this place, it stinks of horse's shit" the boy said as one of the girls, the second one, chuckled at his words and the other just shook her head with a hint of a smile, also amused by her brother's words "let's just learn fast so we can leave as soon as possible" she said as the other two nodded and entered the dining hall, where all the rest of Jacaerys's family was sitting, waiting for them. Let's just say that they didn't ate much cause they really wanted to be anywhere but there.

---------------------------------------------------

The next morning, all three woke up at the same time, instructing their respective maids

"now listen here cause I'm only saying it once" the boy said to his maids as he stood in his chambers

"I hate this place and I want to he as far away from here" the second girl said in her changing chambers to her maids

"but since I promised my mother I'll learn and do this, let's set the rules so you don't piss me off for the rest of my stay here" the first girl said as her maids were brushing her hair

"do not entere in my chambers unless I specifically tell you to and it will be only to change my sheets and clean the place" the boy said

"do not speak to me in the first rays of the morning, just bow and do your thing quickly and quietly" the second girl said

"I will not be eating with the other except my own siblings, I hate each and every single one of them" the first girl said

"do not in any way wake me up, I will not enjoy it" the boy said

"did I make myself clear?" The boy said

"you understand?" The second girl said

"I hope you understand" the first girl said

"yes my prince/princess" the maids said to their respective sibling of the three.

---------------------------------------------------

The buy was looking at his half-brothers training in their swordsmanship "they are so weak. I could kill them from here with my bow and their skills will be useless" he mumbles as he looks at them "YOU GUYS ARE WEAK AS HELL!" He yells at them, making one of the boys drop and fall down from the scare. He looks at them surprised by the fall before laughing hysterically and leaving to go tell his sisters.

'mh, maybe this won't be so bad after all' he thought with a smirk as he left.

Third chapter done!! Hope you all like it and keep yourself hydrated and stress-free!!

@aemondwhoresworld sorry I didn't tag you in the other parts!

#jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys velaryon imagine #hotd x reader #hotd x y/n #baela targaryen

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creedslove · 1 year ago

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RE-ENCOUNTER 🎨

Marcus Pike x f!reader

"I'd rather get divorced while still loving you, than remaining together and risking to hate you"

Summary: you and Marcus had a brief but loving marriage, until it wasn't anymore. Choosing an amicable divorce you both moved on with your lives until destiny made you run into each other once more, with a difference this time: your ex-husband was engaged now

Warnings: mentions of divorce, a little bit of angst, fluff, some jealousy, age gap (their ages are not specified but he's 10 years older than her)

A/N: besties, I'm so happy I finally managed to write something for our husband Pike. I've always wanted to do so, but I knew I couldn't just force myself into it otherwise it wouldn't work properly, and just like that, this idea came up and I couldn't get it out of my mind ❤️ also, I know some people don't like age gap, but I can't imagine reader being Marcus age mostly because reader is me 🥴 and also because it would make sense to the story, so although it's not specified, I pictured them getting married around early 20s(reader) early 30s (Pike) and running into each other again around late 20s/early 30s (reader) and late 30s/early 40s (Pike)

3.9k words

You weren't fond of getting married young, to you, it sounded nothing like madness, as you simply couldn't wrap your head around the fact that people often abdicated from their lives, plans and dreams to get stuck in a relationship. It made no sense to you, especially since you had been working your ass off during all your years in college, the prospect of having a successful and promising career motivated you to go after your dreams. Relationships, marriages, building up families hadn't crossed your mind at all, a little affair with a cute guy here and there were the only things that ever got remotely close to dating, at the same time you only saw yourself as someone who wouldn't settle down.

And that was before Marcus Pike walked into your life.

If someone asked you to explain what exactly happened, perhaps you wouldn't be able to understand it yourself let alone explain it to someone, but that man swept you off your feet. You'd met him during a history of art lecture at campus one Thursday evening. He had just joined the FBI in the art department, fresh in his new job but still assisting his former professor and mentor in college lectures. He was probably ten or so years older than you, and yet, you couldn't keep your eyes off him. He was by far the most handsome man you'd seen in those four long years you'd spent in that institution, there was something so captivating in his beautiful eyes, his breathtaking smile and how smart and sweet he was towards anyone. And he caught you staring; it seemed you took his attention as much as he took yours, and even if you needed that lecture for extra credit, you couldn't give a single crap about medieval art, because that man was everything you could see in front of you. That was so unlike your personality, usually, you'd be focused on everything else, but you simply couldn't look away from that handsome assistant.

When the lecture was finally over, you were sure you'd missed at least half of it, being too busy concentrating on someone else instead of the subject, you still had a few doubts about the matter and you walked to the stage, willing to ask the professor some questions and clarify any doubts you had, and that was the moment you both locked eyes for the first time. The handsome guy that caught your attention, whose name was Marcus, soon found out the moment you shook hands and realized how big his was compared to yours and how truly handsome he was, even more so than you had already noticed when you were a few meters away. He was also mesmerized by you and he couldn't hide it, he knew you were younger than him, but at that moment all he could process was how gorgeous and smart that girl was in front of him. He kept around while you talked to his mentor, being polite enough not to interrupt him but holding himself back so he wouldn't add his own comments. He just wanted an excuse to talk to you, see if he could approach and see where things could go, so the moment he had the opportunity to be with you alone for a while, he immediately threw his charms - and Marcus was a charming guy - in your first conversation you liked how intelligent and nice he was, he made you laugh and when he invited you to have pancakes some dinner nearby the campus, you couldn't say no.

And that was the beginning of your love story.

Everything you believed went through the roof from the moment you met Marcus. He was incredible, the most fascinating man you'd met and whereas he was older than you, that only seemed to spice things up both in the sexual and emotional sense. You had never been treated like that before, he made you feel like a queen, as cheesy as it may sound, that's just how you felt through your relationship with Marcus. He was a gentleman, sweet and he didn't know what to do in order to please you; he went slowly at first, even if his intentions were clear from the very first time you went out to eat, he was a little afraid you would be weirded out by him, and he couldn't be further from the truth. Each time he took you out on a date, it felt like you were living the plot of any sweet but cliche rom com movie. It felt just too good to be true and a part of you feared that it wouldn't work. But it did, for as long as it lasted.

The dates with Marcus were so special, he was thoughtful and he always made sure to take you somewhere nice; it was either a nice restaurant so you could get to know their different menu, or art galleries in which he would show you his favorite works and tell you as much as you wanted to hear about them. He was always afraid of boring you with his subjects but on the contrary, you always enjoyed listening to him talk, it was entertaining, soothing and you could spend hours watching how his eyes sparkled whenever he addressed anything he truly enjoyed. And even if he put some effort into them, your favorite date by far was whenever you two would spend some time just hanging out together in his apartment. Dim lights, old movies on TV and Marcus' protective grip around your body, always pulling you closer and making sure you were warm in his embrace for the rest of the night.

The first kiss you shared with him after you both went to the movies together. It was a classic movie rerun and even if Casablanca wasn't your favorite, you knew he enjoyed it, and seeing it on a big screen was definitely a nice experience. Besides, he promised you that once Titanic hit the theaters in the next classic session, he would definitely take you.

At the end of the movie, you walked out the theater holding hands, you were silent, but instead of reflecting over the story you'd just watched you reflected over your relationship with Marcus; you were falling deeper and deeper for him, deeper and more intensely than you ever thought you would, and when he stopped and placed your hands on your hips you couldn't resist being kissed by him.

It felt right.

The first night you both spent together was right after he took you to see the concert of his former band; he'd left the band when he graduated from college, but he still remained friends with the guys and eventually enjoyed visiting them on stage. And that night he insisted on taking his bass for a last ride and even risked a song on the microphone, all of that for you.

By then, there was no fighting or convincing otherwise, you were head over heels for Marcus; especially when you two had sex for the first time after that. One could think Marcus is too soft, but not when it comes to that; he knows how to act, how to please and how to demand what he wants and after you tried him, a real man, there was no way you could go back to college boys ever again.

Your relationship evolved fast and in less than a year he proposed to you; he was sure you were what he wanted in the future, just as you had thrown away all your beliefs and you'd surrounded yourself completely to the man you loved, so you said yes. Even if your whole life you said you wouldn't get married, not while young at least, not without having a consistent, successful career.

And there you were, fresh out of college, with very little work experience, a job in an area you didn't want but had to take in order to gather experience and knowledge and walking down the aisle in a white dress, feeling as happy as you could be, in order to become Mrs.Pike. The honeymoon had to be in Paris, a few people told you that couldn't be more cliche, and even if they meant it out of spite or if they were actually right, it didn't really matter to you; it felt so right for the two of you. Surrounded by art constantly during the day and making love at night, it was like a dream coming true, and you remember hoping your entire marriage would be like that: light, fun, full of love and happiness. And it was until it wasn't anymore.

You couldn't tell exactly when things started to go downhill, but if you had to guess, it would probably be due to the lack of time you both faced towards the end of your relationship. It just started getting harder after about a year, when the two of you really began struggling for your own careers. You, in your area, and Marcus with the FBI, it seemed to have become an obsession for you both, as date nights, walks in the park and gallery visitations simply stopped happening in order to focus on your extra tasks, overtime, solving cases. At some point it became a looping of excuses and promises to spend more time together:

"We'll go next weekend honey"

"We can have dinner together tomorrow"

"I promise I'll take you with me next time"

Needless to say, they never truly happened.

Just as you two distanced yourselves without even realizing, the bickering also started, adding another venomous sting to your relationship. Suddenly, small things turned into bigger ones, sources of stress and fights; if someone ever told you one day you'd have heated arguments with Marcus over a dropped sock, or an unwashed plate on the sink, you would call them crazy, but when that unfortunately happened to the two of you, you were shocked for a while, not believing you had become the kind of couple to argue over stupid things like those. It was heartbreaking. As you two barely had time for each other, sex was also off the table most nights, being too tired to do anything else other than sleep, Marcus suddenly came up with the idea of having a baby; he had a deep hope of fixing your marriage by getting you pregnant, after all, having kids had always been part of his plan and he was sure it was part of yours too.

At the same time you hadn't really thought it through. Technically, you had. You wanted kids. At some point, in the future, it wasn't rocket science to figure that adding a baby to a troubled marriage could not be the best idea. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to tell him that, not when you saw the spike of excitement in his eyes, not when he held you and kissed you like in the beginning of your relationship, how he made time for you even if his FBI work was killing him, he still managed to bring you flowers, kiss you and made love to you. Perhaps he was trying to save your marriage, or he was just trying for the baby, you weren't so sure, but you could see the effort. And it was why it broke your heart to know you couldn't get pregnant at that moment, not with your job finally taking you places, the new opportunity of actually building a career and how young you still thought you were, being married was hard, but it was about you and Marcus, two adults who could handle yourselves but a baby? It was way too much responsibility. You couldn't find a way to tell him that, even if you were being a coward, it pained you you felt so hopeless to simply lie to Marcus and tell him you'd stopped taking your birth control pills, and even more so each time he looked at you with those disappointed, sad eyes, month after month of excitement and longing for that baby to be there, just to get a negative test after another. It was eating you up alive and after his insistence on taking you to a doctor - which you immediately refused - he managed to find your hidden stash of pills among your stuff. You tried explaining everything to him; how you weren't ready, you were scared and how broken you'd been at seeing him so upset. You cried, you opened your heart to Marcus and told him you wanted to be a mom to his child, some day, not at that moment, but in the future because things were finally working for the two of you once more. But you had lied to your husband, and lying to Marcus had no turning back.

He had no other option other than asking for a divorce after you lied and broke his heart, he felt upset, he could've forgiven you for many things, but not for playing with his heart when it came to the kids he dreamed of every single day.

You were tired, upset and at some point during your divorce process you'd convinced yourself you didn't love him anymore, but the reality was that you were just so empty you weren't able to feel things, you were numb.

The day you both signed the divorce papers in front of your lawyer and you were questioned whether you two wanted to go ahead with that decision, your heart shattered into a million pieces, more than any fights, when you heard Marcus' justification to why he was asking for the divorce.

"I'd rather get divorced while still loving you, than remaining together and risking to hate you"

When you heard those words, you had a sudden urge to get up and tear those papers into pieces, tell him you were both making a huge mistake, that toyover him and that you could make it work, you wanted to tell him you still had a beautiful future ahead of you, you and the gorgeous family you would have together. And the moment you took a deep breath to finally say all that out loud, you looked at Marcus signing the papers and officializing the divorce.

That was the last time you saw your ex-husband Marcus Pike, you just had no idea the next time you would run into him again would be in a few years later, while he was taking his new fiancee on a date.

•••

Marcus sighed as he could see the lack of excitement in Teresa's face the moment they got to the exhibit, he just didn't know why she agreed to go out with him if she didn't like it, it would be so much easier for the two of them if she was honest and told him she'd rather stay home and read a magazine, that way they would both be happy, and Marcus wouldn't have the feeling he was trying too hard all the time. Teresa liked him, she must have liked him, otherwise she wouldn't have accepted his proposal and moved to DC with him. It was still early, she'd been there for a few weeks but he was confident things would work. He was hitting his forties now, one divorce, no kids and even if he finally got the position he had not only dreamed of but also worked so hard for in his dream job, he still felt something was missing. It took him a failed marriage to realize that money wasn't everything he needed, he simply missed the family he never had.

When he found Teresa he was still trying to pick the pieces of his heart, still trying to make things work on his own and when he saw her - an attractive, mature and intelligent woman, he thought that maybe he wouldn't be alone this time. You'd been the love of his life, he was convinced of that, but you two had gone way too fast and too intense, you were still young, you had so much to live so it made sense to him he would let you go and be free. He vowed himself not to rush into things, but this time it wasn't his choice, he was liking Teresa more and more and even if they weren't compatible most of the time, but when the opportunity of a lifetime came up he had to take his chances and she'd said yes. Still a little unsure and divided between him and Jane, but she said yes.

As they walked through the exhibit, he paid close attention to all the beautiful paintings scattered around the long hallways. He loved that atmosphere, the pictures so beautifully made by talented hands years or sometimes centuries ago.

"So it's just flowers?!" Teresa broke the silence as she looked around unimpressed and dragged his attention back to reality

"It's not just flowers, it's Monet… don't you like it? You told me you liked his paintings on our first date.." Marcus stated confused until the realization that she was just lying so she wouldn't appear ignorant or perhaps try to impress him a little. He saw how she cleared her throat and tried fixing what she just said but he stopped listening the moment he caught a glimpse of someone else crossing the same room and standing next to Rouen Cathedral, admiring it intently. He didn't even need to look twice to know it was you. You, who always loved that painting, even if it wasn't Monet's best in your ex-husband's opinion, you who had a fascination with old constructions such as cathedrals and would always snap several pictures of them, you, who was never exceptional at art but managed to get by and eventually fell more and more in love with art because of Marcus, not because you wanted to impress him or have him thinking you were smart, but because he actually made you see why he had that passion for it. And the moment that you turned around, his heart skipped a beat.

You looked the same, and yet, you also managed to look even more beautiful; more mature, more confident in yourself and for a brief moment Marcus was frozen in time, it was just like the first time he saw you, in which he could only see you in front of him and nothing else. He had no idea you still had that effect on him, it was so unusual and surprising and even if he had stalked your social media profiles here and there over the course of your separation, even if he wasn't proud of it, it was completely different than seeing you right there in front of him. He wasn't sure what to do, should he approach you? Talk to you? Pretend he didn't see you?

However, he didn't time to think any further about it, not when you turned around and spotted him, your eyes widening at the moment you saw him. Much to your surprise your heart also raced at the sight of your ex-husband. Was it your mind playing tricks or was he even more handsome? You hadn't planned on approaching him, but you felt as if you were being taken involuntarily towards him.

"Marcus?! Hi!" You said with a sweet smile as he politely greeted you, expressing how surprised he was to see you and even more so to actually talk to you

"Wow, you look great… So beautiful" he smiled as you blushed softly and giggled

"You too, still very handsome… so what brings you to D-" you interrupted by a woman who walked in and wrapped her arm around his waist. She eyed you up and down, even if she still tried to be polite and discreet about it. You swallowed hard feeling awkward and Marcus turned to the other woman

"This is Teresa, my fiancee and this is my ex-wife" he cleared his throat as he said your name and Teresa simply nodded her head. You returned the gesture and the moment you meant to ask him a question she barged in

"You're his ex-wife? But you're so young…" you could see the light pink spreading through his cheek and groaned at how dumb she really was.

"Yeah, I'm younger than him… and are you a little older than Marcus?" You returned the sting with the same amount of poison and she scoffed, looking at him and groaned

"I'll go to the restroom" she said without looking into your eyes and walked away, making you chuckle as Marcus shot you a questioning look which you just shrugged and went back to the question that was lingering on your mind

"So, what are you doing here in DC? Having a romantic getaway or vacations?"

"Actually, I've moved here after I was promoted to the head of the new art department" he said with his typical smile and you could see how his eyes crinkled, your heart warming up as you expressed genuine surprise and happiness to know that. You were a witness to how hard he had worked for that and it just filled your heart with pride to know he made it. You weren't sure how to act, perhaps it wasn't right, but you had already wrapped your arms around his neck and given him probably the tightest hug you'd ever done. Even if it was brief, you couldn't help but feel how built up he was, how stronger he'd become and his characteristic scent made you so warm on the inside, it felt like you could've stayed forever in his embrace.

"I'm so happy for you, Marcus! Honestly, you deserve it! I know I haven't been the most supportive wife and I'm very sorry about everything that happened, I should've been nicer to you, but well, all I'm trying to say is that I'm so proud of you!"

You said wholeheartedly and even if there were so many other things you needed to tell him, you knew it wasn't the right time and place. He just smiled and nodded, taking your hands into his big ones and thanking you for the support.

"Do you think we could grab a coffee or something? Just catch up?"

"I'd love to, but I don't know if it's a good idea, I mean, I can tell Teresa isn't my biggest fan and being honest with you, I wouldn't like my fiance's ex-wife around very much, but it's amazing to see you Marcus, truly, it makes me glad to know you are somewhat closer" you smiled again but let go of his hands the moment Teresa returned. Once more she just lingered around him, almost territorial as if she wanted to show you who owned Marcus. He also felt that, and it made him quite uncomfortable, so he cleared his throat and looked at you, saying goodbye and explaining they had dinner reservations.

As you watched them both leave, you felt a pang in your chest, thinking of the wonderful place he was probably taking her, the elaborate dates he had planned, the beautiful family they would probably build together. It could've been you, it was you for a while, unlike he might have thought you wanted all that with him, but it took you a divorce to realize it was a situation of the right person, wrong time. Perhaps if you tried again, it would work, you would like it to work, but Marcus had moved on, found himself someone he cared about and you had no right to break his heart and ruin his happiness once more.

____

A/N: my besties, I really hope you enjoyed it! I don't know if this is just a one-shot or if there'll be a continuation but I am so happy how this turned out. I love Marcus and I'm so happy our handsome FBI boyfriend finally got his own piece here! ❤️ remember that feedback is life, I'd love to hear what you all thought of it ❤️

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal imagine #marcus pike #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x y/n #marcus pike fanfiction #marcus pike fanfic #marcus pike imagine #marcus pike one shot

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ventitititi · 8 months ago

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Good morning, ilayda. This is my third and final Gaming request for the day. Please kindly consider this Gaming hurt/comfort request: Gaming and Reader have been betrothed ever since they were kids and Gaming makes it a point to visit Reader during the weekends. During his most recent visit, Gaming finds Reader being rather distant. Rather confused, he inquires around the village and finds out about the rumors about him and Yun Jin getting closer and Reader was expecting him to break off the betrothal to be with her. Gaming hurries back to Reader to assure her that he has no intention of annulling the betrothal. Please also kindly take as long as you need with this request; I have no qualms in waiting. Furthermore, by no means feel obligated to prioritize this request over your other requests

I've seen all your requests and man, i sure hope I'm doing your boy gaming justice as i chip away at these

Cw/tw; none!! Expect lots of fluff, headcanon-ish format, the hurt/comfort is very mild tbh, it's 2:30am here so yeah take this with that warning

🌱. Gaming had come back from another trip in the harbour, gifts in hand and excited to tell you all about the people he's seen and the places he's been

🌱. But... You seemed off. Normally, he'd expect open arms and warm hugs, maybe even a kiss on the cheek (definitely a kiss on the cheek,) instead though, you were... Quiet, distant

🌱. So, he did what anyone in his situation would do. He started to ask the aunties and uncles why you seemed so different, asking everyone he could about the matter

🌱. One aunty held the awnser to his plight, she'd overheard you talking about how gaming was getting closer to this girl by the name "yunjin"

🌱. Worse still, the aunty informed him everyone thought he'd break off the engagement

🌱. Interrupting her mid sentence, gaming holds up a hand, "sorry aunty but i gotta go! I'll hear the rest of your story later!"

🌱. And he was off, running like his life depended on it back towards your house. Never in a million years would he dream of breaking this engagement, you were the best thing to happen to him

🌱. Upon opening the door, you're greeted by a very frazzled gaming. His chestnut hair in a disarray and his clothes all unkempt. Before you could fully close the door on him with some uttered excuse, gaming had his foot in the door, keeping it open

🌱. "Y/n! Wait! Just hear me out, okay?"

🌱. You eye him warily but you do wait, you owed him at least that much

🌱. "Listen, i know you'd heard how I've gotten close with another girl recently, but i promise it's not what you think! She's a performer, too! She sings opera and i just thought she could teach me some useful tricks... Regardless, my point is that you're wayyyyy more important to me! You're like my heart! So please, let me in?"

🌱. He was giving you his best puppy eyes, and while you were still doubtful you opened the door.

🌱. Immediately you were swallowed in the soft scent of his clothes, strong arms holding you in a hug. Melting into him, you sniffle softly, "I thought you were gonna leave me, i didn't know what I'd do with myself"

🌱. "Nonsense, I'm never leaving, not even in a gajillion years! So cheer up, y/n"

🌱. Spends the rest of the evening/night holding you and doing his best to soothe any worries you have bottled up, his hands gently rubbing your back and occasionally pressing little kisses to your face

🌱. Genuinely, you're stuck with him for as long as you'll have him

#genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin x reader fluff #gaming fluff #genshin gaming #gaming x reader #gaming x reader fluff #hurt/comfort #mild hurt/comfort #: ̗̀➛head in the cloudsೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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AITA for not defending an ex-friend when people called her a slut?

I (20 f) fell out with my best friend and roommate M (20 f) at the end of sophomore year of college. reason we fell out isn't the main subject of this post but I think it's relevant so I'll try and keep it as brief as possible.

For context I'm Black attending a VERY white school. Frenshman year I was the only black girl in my building and this was just post-covid so student groups were pretty dead. So first trimester most of my college friends were the girls from my floor including M (white) and S (20f, asian american). It was very isolating tbh, esp bc I experienced a lot of microaggressions, but the girls I befriended were pretty good at sharing my outrage and letting me confide in them.

The worst incident was when at a party, a guy (G, white) made some very racist comments towards me and in general (said the n-word a few times). I admit I escalated it by engaging w him and the whole thing got out of hand, a lot of people saw, and he got a reputation as a racist. Afterwards, he was always rude to me, blaming me for egging him on while drunk and just constantly making disrespectful comments about me and my 'attitude' where i could hear. no one ever said anything to his face but were supportive of me after the fact - S was always particularly supportive and said she could relate.

I was generally fine with avoiding G esp in sophomore year when we moved out. I lived with M and another friend (P) and it went pretty well. We were asked in like November if we would renew our lease, and though M and I wanted to the third friend didn't, so we began to think of replacements, and S was looking for a place.

Thing is, while S and I were still on good terms I felt like she was being a bit secretive w me. She'd often come over and talk privately w M and I got the gist she was seeing someone and didn't want me to know. I shook it off as us growing apart and the fact I'd gotten more involved in Black student groups and hadn't hung around with our dorm friends as much, but then in Jan, as we were planning to sign the new lease, I found out she was dating G. Tbh at this point we weren't even close friends that I felt a strong personal betrayal, but more so I was mad at them both for not telling me while making plans for us to live together. They knew I was uncomfortable around G and wouldn't want to live w his gf, esp without knowing. It felt like they were almost purposefully going behind my back.

I didn't do anything at the time, just slowly backed out of the lease renewal and made other arrangements. I stopped hanging out with S almost completely and was just cordial w her and took a big step back from M and our dorm friends.

The other relevant bit of context here is M had a boyfriend (T, 20 m) who was in our freshman dorm and very close to our year one friends (lived with them sophomore year and now junior year too). She broke up w him in Feb, which led to a lot of her friendships w our dorm friends (her only friends really) to deteriorate a bit, esp as she was no longer super comfy hanging around where he was. this especially became an issue in the spring trimester bc she got a new boyfriend over the break, a friend from her classes T hadn't liked.

So, M kept pressuring me to hang out w her and our dorm friends a lot more, which inevitably meant seeing S and now G, who they'd all decided they were cool being around when I distanced myself. I told her why i didn't want to and I didn't want to see G again but she promised he had 'changed' and wouldn't say anything to me. eventually I folded and went out w them all once and it honestly sucked. M completely abandoned me to be w her other friends, G didn't say anything but kept glaring at me the whole time, and I felt very out of place. afterwards I told M i was sorry, I know she felt awkward around her ex without me, but I wouldn't do that again.

She left it till like the end of the year then there was a big dinner she really wanted to go to that T would be at (her bf was not invited), w all our dorm friends. I kept saying I wouldn't go, but then she told me she checked w the hosts and confirmed (and promised) G wouldn't be coming. I said okay but asked we sit next to each other and made it clear how I felt around S etc, and she agreed and promised we would. Long story short G was there, I wound up next to S and across from him snickering at me the whole time, with her on the other end of the table. I texted M about it, she said it was 'fine' and I was imagining it and to try and enjoy the gathering.. yeah no. I dipped before desert, she chased me outside asking what was up and I explained why i was upset, she said i can't expect her to be there for me the whole night and she's allowed to 'have a good night without my drama,' i said racism wasn't drama and she literally dragged me along to deal with her drama, nevermind my comfort, and that she was an incredibly selfish friend for putting me in this position. I left, she wound up crying with everyone comforting her, everyone there (M included) went off at me for being an unsupportive friend/dredging up year old drama with G/overall making everything about race, I cut them all off and moved my stuff into my girlfriend's place a week after all this and didn't speak to anyone since.

which is pretty much all the backstory (longer than the main bit, sorry), that gets us to the actual AITA situation. Junior year starts, I'm at a welcome back party w some other friends and i'm vaguely aware my old dorm friends (including S and G) are also here, but it's a huge party and i'm w my very supportive friends who ik will back me if anything happens so i dont really care. eventually M arrives w her bf, gives me an awkward look but doesn't say anything to me.

Then at some point, I'm upstairs using the bathroom and I hear the girls from our dorm group speaking to M in the hallway. Apparently it came out over summer she'd hooked up w her new boyfriend before she ended things with T and they were all pissed at her (esp for her playing the victim w her ex). I tried to stay in the bathroom until the conversation ended but someone was pounding on the door and I wound up having to get out and waddle past them awkwardly to get back downstairs. When I got out one of the girls was calling M a slut and other names and while i tried to avoid it I accidentally made eye contact with M, who was super upset and crying. I kinda just shrugged and went downstairs.

Later that night i got a long ass message from her new bf about how he knows I'm upset with her but it wasn't fair for me to just leave her in that situation, and that it was petty and selfish of me (esp bc I'm usually the person calling out this shit). I spoke to my gf, and she said she understands why i did nothing but also that it's never okay for people to call someone a slut. I agree with that 100% and in any other case i might have tried to diffuse the situation (like if it was safe and I thought I could). I've told a couple friends who think I did nothing wrong and it wasn't fair to expect me to say smth when she never said/did anything to defend me and that she had it coming, but my mom told me I should've done the kind thing and not stoop to their level and it's made me feel really bad. I think I might be TA bc i could have stood up for her without anything bad happening to me beyond being in an uncomfortable convo, and also bc it kinda felt good seeing her friends turn on her? Like she threw me under the bus to be in their good books and defend them and they dropped her ass anyway, and if I acted from a vengeful place then thats asshole-y of me. but also no one in this story has apologised to me once and as my friend says its not fair to rely on black ppl to fix racist white ppls mess.

so, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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thatdogmagic · 6 days ago

Text

That whole thing in March (and July, and August, and), part 2

I'm glad most people aren't up to speed on this. I'm sorry for any confusion. I've tried to put in the basic context of a lot of this but if you're not deep-diving tumblr nonsense you're going to have missed a lot of it. If you did, just be grateful and go about your day; you have my blessing to tl;dr straight out of here.

For the people who know, and stayed: I'm addressing it now because it is demonstrably costing me, personally and professionally, to stay quiet. It hasn't risen to the point of monetary damages that require a lawyer's intervention, but if it does, I have lines out to a couple people to hire. I'm taking this seriously, which is part of why it took so much time to get around to posting.

The other reason I waited is because I had hoped interest in this would fade out/people would be able to read the posts and see them for what they are. But then the site went live, logs got involved, and Ependa (not me) received this in her discord DMs:

That is roughly when I noticed I'd been dropped by a handful mutuals, and I finally looked into what was being said about me, exactly.

I thought I'd had some idea of how bad it was, but I didn't. I was not prepared for what I actually read. I promise you: no one is. Seeing a tidal wave of outright lies about yourself and the person you love, especially when it gets that personal, and is so clearly meant to estrange and humiliate, like.

It's hard to even know where to begin. That last bit makes it particularly difficult to decide what I should actually address or talk about. As a result, this post has been written and re-written several times over the last few months, and it was only recently that I settled on anything.

What I've decided is I'll be doing my best to refrain from addressing the personal/intimate attacks, though some are unavoidable. Make no mistake: those attacks exist only to waste my time and to maximize harm. They're meant to make me engage (and probably, to some extent, drive a wedge between Ependa and I), and follow a long and sustained pattern of Jackal acting out every time she had to take 'no' for an answer.

So, fine. I'm doing this. But I'm doing it on my terms, for my sake, Ependa's sake, and for the sake of a site that I would've found a way to commission one way or another. Because I just want a place for me and my peers to post our queer werewolf art and stories, and I want to eventually help turn it into a fundraising vehicle for our various projects.

I don't care if my name is on it (it is in fact not; Werewolves Versus is not my brand, it's Angela's), I don't care if the only person to ever closely collab with me again on my own personal work is Ependa, and no one else. I don't even care if I get props for commissioning it. I just want the thing to exist, for me and for others, and I don't want the people who use it to catch stupid accusations of 'o so ur working with the psycho transphobe??' because it happens to be in some way tied to me.

So let's start with the factual statements that can be made about the project side of this:

Jackal claim to have started a studio with myself, TrashasaurusRex, and Ependa. The reality, however, is, 'I invited people to a discord server in June-July of 2023, where a studio got talked about on voicechat but no paperwork was ever filed.

There was no studio. There was a *theoretical* studio, but nothing concrete. It didn't have a name. The *site* had a working name (the Mercantile, based on something from one of *my* stories), but that's the extent of it. The steps that would have made us an official studio had not been taken. I know, because I had to keep asking about it.

There was no attached LLC. It's referred to as 'an LLC' in posts because it does not have an actual name. I never put my signature on anything that looked even remotely like an official document. So, if an LLC does exist, and my name/signature appears on any official paperwork that's 'on record' in the state of Georgia, I mean. I don't need to be a lawyer to know there's a problem there.

Jackal claims to have liquidated the studio. That's more creative writing: there was nothing to liquidate. It's just a big word meant to make 'we deleted a discord server and some comic pages scraped together over a few months' sound official. And the server still exists in part, clearly, because it's currently being used to farm Content.

I was the one who commissioned Angela for the site and made all the arrangements. Starting out, I was the sole investor, and would have still been the primary investor once the bill was paid in full. I had also talked about buyout clauses in case we ever got around to *actual* official paperwork. Me leaving with the site was always understood to be an option on the table, in case things went sour.

I left the original idea for the studio/site ('sapphic-specific monsterfuckers') to the others. Nothing is stopping them from commissioning their own site, or building up an actual studio with an actual name under an actual LLC.

It would've been very welcome if all the vague admin work they claim to have done had actually *been* done. Unfortunately, that 'work' amounted primarily to things like being asked to find legal rep, and months later getting only so far as an answer that amounted to 'well my mom knows a lawyer who works for Disney.' That's not a part of the log that will ever get posted, though.

I am the only person in the group with a substantial 'proof of admin work' paper trail on this project. I have my own bank statements, I have the agreement with Angela, I have multiple written documents for meeting plans - many with their original save dates - and I have the paperwork I had started with a payment vendor. The most Jackal has is, allegedly, the paper trail their dad generated to withdraw/transfer the money they were going to use for their part of the investment. If there was anything else, it never got mentioned.

There was no 'gatekeeping the sitebuilder.' Angela asked that the actual, contractual business agreement be made with me exclusively to keep things simpler for her. I informed everyone of this early on. Further, no one was barred from attending my meetings with her, or reaching out to her. At any time, any one of them could have reached her using multiple methods. They knew who she was and she was not hard to find. Further, Angela was kept in the loop every step of the way, even as things started to break apart. She knew I'd be suspending payments when arguments over missed deadlines started to heat up, and I was no longer certain about the group's future. This is something she'll corroborate.

In spite of all this, Jackal and Trish were both still invited to make use of the site when it launched. That offer's obviously rescinded at this point, but I made it in good faith when I said it. It was one of the last things sent to the server and one of the few things I kept in a text file.

For anyone who made it this far into reading this (thank you for that btw), I want you to look at this list and really take it in.

If there are already this many holes in what was posted, please imagine how many holes can be punched in all the other claims being made. Especially where it comes to intimacy. I won't repeat much of it, save this: there was a whole 'Dogblud was into me and was flirting with me' thread to this, in which Jackal took great pains to mock Ependa for just standing around like a dumbass (their words) as I flirted with Jackal in front of her.

Which I shouldn't have to demonstrate is false, to anyone. I shouldn't have to say that throughout the time I was allegedly "flirting" with "my boss" (news to me that I had a 'boss,' btw, suggests I had to pay $5k for the privilege of being an employee?), I was spending the vast majority of my time with Ependa. And we talked, constantly, about everything that was happening. She always had final say on how I did/didn't behave in VC and in that server, and was in fact very much present when I had to tell Jackal I would not engage in on-site ERP, silly or serious, without Ependa's approval or say-so. It is not my fault Jackal chose not to hear that.

They *did*, however, hear me talk about how Ependa and I expressed ourselves with each other. Heard me say that we use Phoebe and Lacey as proxies sometimes, understanding that they're not literally projections of ourselves, just characters with some significance to how we became a couple. In the posts they made about my conduct, by their own admission, they chose to remove that from its proper context, and superimpose it on to the professional arrangement we made with each other to write/draw sapphic comics with our respective characters.

Like, that was the whole premise of the site, sapphic monsterfucking; we had long discussed using the 'star power' of our characters to sell it, since our audiences had an investment. The note about Phoebe and Lacey was quite literally the backbone of the rule we had for porn scenarios depicting them, re: 'never one without the other,' so it's weird to see that turned around to prove there was rampant flirting on my end.

Aside, but, that Jackal has to paint herself as the boss in the situation is interesting. Because-- and I'm not rearranging what she's saying here, or remixing it, I'm taking at face value what's being implied.

Her being the boss implies that Ependa and I agreed to an 'employer/employee' relationship with terms that were never discussed with us. Primarily, that any discussion of 'we will be talking about our characters fucking/fucking around one another/(the usual porn comic nonsense goes here)' would be interpreted as flirtation, when that was literally part of the job we were signing up for. That we were, in fact, being weirdly entrapped?? in more of an intimate relationship with this person than a working 'we are collaborating on a project' relationship.

I'm not pointing this out to be dramatic, or raise additional allegations. The vibe was meant to be loose because of the type of business we were talking about. I'm pointing this out to say that Jackal's lies are pervasive enough to self-contradict, often, about *a lot* of things, even to the point of painting themselves in an even more unflattering light than I ever could.

So, no, if she chooses to keep this going, I'm not going to waste my time swatting down every little thing she has said, or will say; I won't go out of my way to give proof of each and every lie being false, or give my side of the story each and every time some piece of the log has been stitched together to prove with 1000% certainty that I kill babies with slingshots or whatever else it is that's being said about me on any given day.

...

All this, because they took it really personally that I tried to move on with the investment I made, with money I earned over ten years of working full time on a 12a-8a shift, holidays included.

I shouldn't have to say this, but I don't owe that investment to anyone, least of all someone with whom I was fundamentally incompatible, on a working level, and with whom no formal agreement was ever signed.

I don't owe Jackal the keys to that site because she invited me to a discord server one day. I don't owe it to Jackal to drop the site entirely, and wave goodbye to $5k of a meager life savings, simply because we followed in the footsteps of so many other artists: ruining our entire friendship by trying and failing to work together on a professional level, without necessary guard rails, because we were arrogant enough to think 'with us, it'll be different!'

It's the same story with HaliteaTiger, at the end of the day.

Yes, I will be addressing the logs, and yes, I do own what I said. I'm not going to pretend that wasn't me or that what I said was appropriate or excusable. But I will say that the story presented is very conveniently slanted, ignoring nearly 3000 pages of ongoing context. Which did happen to include many, many discussions about where I was at in terms of aggressive meltdowns, with everyone involved, long before we ever worked together. I never lied to anyone about that, or hold it against them if it turns out to be too much.

End of the day, they were just as keen as I was to willfully ignore all the warning signs, spoken and unspoken. That the fit wasn't right, that this thing or that thing was *off*, that this was already showing signs of faltering because (xyz thing).

Which is really the thesis of this story. It's going to keep being the thesis by the time I'm done writing all of it out. Everyone involved, myself included, was so caught up in the opportunity we all saw in each other that we all mutually ignored multiple red flags, and got burned by that. As is often the case.

The finer points of all that are for another post. This one, I'd prefer to keep more or less contained.

#admin #Im sorry this is so long #but it was kind of inevitable

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