#I keep humming the intro theme to myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

writer-and-artist27 · 4 years ago

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An Unbent Person

Note: Even though I haven’t finished the movie Remaining Sense of Pain from Kara no Kyoukai as a result of my being triggered by the intro, Asagami Fujino has been lingering in my head lately. And since it’s your birthday, @withanina / Aqui, I wanted to revisit her in a way that both honors you as one of my best friends and that helps me process the complex character that Fujinon is.

I just hope I did Fujinon justice with this oneshot. I’m still trying to figure her out, even when she’s one of my best Archers in my Chaldea and I’ve been in a writing slump to the point of defaulting to S&S verse to try to get back something. But we’re still here and I’m rambling, so enough of that. I’ll just insert this song as a theme since Yuki Kaijura also composed Credens Justitiam for Madoka Magica after working with Type: MOON, and let’s go. The lyrics used for the song are taken from lyricstranslate.com. This story canonically takes place, I think, after the aforementioned Remaining Sense of Pain (possibly around Extra Chorus) and S&S 24, before Kannabi.

Happy Birthday, Aqui. Thank you for sticking with all my stories. I hope we’ll keep being friends for years to come.

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Growing up in Nagareboshi Café meant getting used to what other civilians would call “abnormal behaviors.” Or, maybe the better phrase was simply “not minding things out of the ordinary.” Whether it was the shinobi coming into the café with nothing but a few flicked fingers in my direction to ask for an order or the occasional call for a song by a tired voice from the bar area, I learned very quickly to take things as they were. After all, it was still the Narutoverse — a place where child soldiers were considered “common” of all things. Papa had lived in that very same scenario for years, and now my best friends were growing up in it.

It felt like death was inevitable, no matter where you were in this world, because it was made a “norm.” Ugh.

Thus, the least I could do was not judge and instead be as welcoming as possible. It was all I could do just to provide some levity in a world that couldn’t offer any.

It was with this mindset that I met her.

She could’ve blended into the crowd with her unassuming black and red spider lily-patterned kimono and long purple hair, but once she was gently walking past Mama’s figure in the front of the café and carefully making her way to a table in the corner of the building with her cane, I did my best to not stare. It wasn’t every day that someone came in with a cane in hand, and once she started gently tapping the cane against every object she came across while walking, it automatically clued me in that it was not my business to ask.

Someone with an apparent disability didn’t need extra attention drawn to them unless they needed it for a helping hand. Internally, I was very grateful, though, to see how some clientele and our own café servers stepped out of the way to let the lady slowly maneuver through the crowd with her cane, a few people even quietly moving their chairs out of the way to give her a clear path. It was such a stark contrast to how Vy’s old family at times gave one of my aunts far too much space, simply because of how emotionally stubborn and physically weak she was for reasons I never did understand even after being reborn. Family issues were family issues.

But for a second, my thoughts wandered to how things would have happened for the lady to come in the way she did. Anyone, of course, could use a cane. Everyone had their own reasons. But the cloudiness in her eyes — it said something about her cane usage. Aside from looking straight up at the sun for that direct UV light exposure, possibly impaired vision wasn’t something that just happened unless we were getting into the possibility of genetics, lifestyle choices, and/or eye strain and how eyes related to anime powers. The Sharingan was a notable example of the latter, where Canon Sauce went blind thanks to overusing his Mangekyo after fighting Danzo, and I did not want to think about Obi possibly dealing with the same consequences once his Sharingan activated.

Wait. No no no. I shook my head vigorously, clamping down on the urge to slap my cheeks as punishment. It wasn’t my place to speculate what happened to Nagareboshi Café’s newest customer, even if she was pretty and the empathy in me was screaming to help her. The right thing to do is give distance and let her come to me if she wants to, I mentally knocked my head against a library wall, much to Hisako’s raised eyebrow. Remember that, me.

How about a song to break the ice, then? Hisako suggested, eerily quiet with her arms crossed over her chest. Tomoe Mami’s theme? To stop the library knocking.

Oops. I glanced at the black and white keys underneath my fingertips and nodded to myself. You know, why not?

My Nobody beamed with pride. Much better!

I couldn’t help but agree. There was something about seeing that lady with her walking cane and cloudy red eyes sitting by herself at a table that reminded me of a yellow magical girl. A single yellow-themed, gun-wielding magical girl who went about fighting alone just to ensure some kind of future for herself. It was honestly sad to think about because her wish was “to live” and that was where it had landed her.

But the concept of “loneliness” was not one I could entertain forever. I knew I didn’t want to when I couldn’t unsee the white myself.

Thus, humming the first few lyrics to myself was a good distraction while it lasted. Plus it was a good starter for tapping my foot to get the rhythm before letting my hands play out the rest. The piano crooned softly with my thoughts, echoing the chords I wanted, and for once, I didn’t mind feeling my chakra start to float from the interaction. It felt like I didn’t have to hold my chakra back. This time, I let the music take me away in the hopes of letting my chakra play out as it should’ve been. Free, empathetic, and open.

The Sage of Six Paths might’ve been happy with the performance. I wanted to think that, at least, when playing the piano at that moment.

Solti ola i Amaliche cantia masa Estia…

E sonti tolda i Emalita cantia mia Distia…

A litia dista Somelite esta dia A ditto i della Filioche mio Solti tola Solti ola i Amaliche cantia masa estia E sonti tolda i Emalita cantia mia distia…

Alita della Maliche sonta dia Mia sonta della I testa mia Testi ola Solti ola…

Solti ola i Amaliche cantia mia Dia, dia...

By the time the last few keys faded into the air, I knew without opening my eyes that someone was sitting next to me on the piano bench. Miyako-bachan’s teachings were close to becoming second-hand nature to a point, but it didn’t stop me from squeaking a little when glancing over to find the very same lady I was thinking of at my right side.

Maybe I was too invested in remembering the first Heroine of Justice…

Even up close, it was obvious my newest visitor had gone through a lot at her age, with the little creases on her cheeks and the occasional white line of scarring crossing along what skin her kimono showed past the collar. Once she wrapped her red shawl tighter around her shoulders, hiding the scars with one hand while clutching the handle of her cane with the other, she slowly blinked in the vague direction of the piano. It took a moment before she went about turning her head towards me. Her gaze was unfocused, but still pointed my way. “Hello,” she said very quietly, her long purple hair brushing her shoulders with the greeting. “Are you the one who played the song just now?”

“Y-Yes,” I replied gently, nodding my head. “I am Hoshino Tomoko, your pianist for the day. Welcome to Nagareboshi Café, um…”

“Asagami,” the lady said, bowing her head in return. Her red eyes blinked again, as if focusing past the clouds in the irises, before she added, “Asagami Fujino,” with a small smile. “It was a beautiful song, Hoshino-san.”

“Thank you, Asagami-san,” I said respectfully in return. “Is there another song you would like me to play for you while you’re here?”

To my surprise, Asagami-san shook her head, her long purple hair swishing against her clothes enough to reflect the café lighting. It took an extra moment for me to realize she was wearing a black ribbon in her hair. “Not a song,” she said, voice all the more quiet in spite of her closeness. “I wanted to ask you something.” She blinked for a moment, her eyes narrowing in my direction in that small interval of time before widening minutely. “What were you thinking of when playing it? It was…” Asagami-san trailed off, turning her head back to looking at her lap as she gripped her cane. “It felt different. I never heard such a song like yours before.”

Oh. Uh. Just in case, I turned to the other person in the room. Hisako?

It didn’t even take a second for my Nobody to answer. Reliable as always. Yes, dear?

Chakra or no chakra explanation?

Hm. Hisako thoughtfully pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Keep it simple. No chakra. Best to not add any confusing elements.

Alrighty. Simple and no chakra it is.

To Asagami-san, I admitted honestly, “I was actually thinking of you.”

Asagami-san raised her head in my direction so quickly, I would’ve thought she’d have given herself whiplash with how her neck turned. Her red eyes were still cloudy-looking, but they seemed to be shining with a newfound light of some sorts now. It felt like she was shocked. “Eh?” With that said, Asagami-san then lowered her head, no longer gazing in my direction but still exuding that same aura of surprise. “…Me?”

“Yes,” I continued, in spite of the growing blush no thanks to anxiety and embarrassment. “I-It looked like today is your first day here, so I just wanted to play something that made you feel welcomed—”

“No one has ever done that for me before,” Asagami-san interrupted, her voice one octave louder than before. Her knuckles were turning white against her already pale skin as she gripped her cane. “Not after…” She inhaled one long deep breath. “It was not painful.”

I took a deep breath too. “I didn’t mean for it to be,” I said softly.

Asagami-san gave me a small smile past the shoulder of her red shawl. “You seem to be a kind person, Hoshino-san.”

“I try to be, every day,” I said, doing my best to keep my voice from wobbling. This conversation was definitely starting to hit something heavy, and for once, it felt like I was doing something right and stepping into territory I couldn’t exactly parse out on my own. After all, it wasn’t every day a grown woman was relying on a teenager of all people. But the situation was happening, and there was no stopping it. “It’s what I was taught to do, and I want to keep doing it.” For the people I care for, for the people I lost, for myself, was left unsaid. “Everyone deserves a chance to feel safe and be themselves. I just help make the space for that, without pain and with as much kindness I can muster.”

Asagami-san said nothing for a while after that, merely tapping her cane against the pedals of the piano for a small moment. I did my best not to wince when one such tap happened on my foot, but by then, it seemed like Asagami-san was in her own thoughts. My bit of pain didn’t matter. Right now, something was up.

Did I say something wrong?

“…You can see,” Asagami-san said finally, her voice a bare wisp in the air, “life even without pain?”

As expected from a moment of silence — it sounded and felt like a loaded question. Still, I lifted my hands from the piano keys to place them into my lap, taking a breath to formulate my answer. There was no way I could leave this standing. “Maybe. Maybe not. I just know that life is full of many things, Asagami-san. Pain can be a part of it, but that’s not all there is to it. There’s the trees outside, the bright blue sky, the warm air, the food in the café, and the people that live here.” With the warmest smile I could make, I turned to her, even if a part of me could guess she wouldn’t fully see it. “It’s because of what happens in this life that I got to meet you, right?”

Asagami-san looked up in my direction again. Her red eyes were wider than before, letting in enough light to expose my reflection in the cloudy irises before the first visages of tears dotted the edges. “You…” her bottom lip quivered. “How can you say that, Hoshino-san? I-I…” Asagami-san shook her head vigorously, enough to jostle the black ribbon in her hair, making it crooked. “I’m not—”

Maybe I shouldn’t have shared. Maybe I was going too far, considering we were in the middle of the café and the privacy seals weren’t turned on and I needed to turn them on. But the words were leaving my lips before I could stop them, interrupting whatever thought Asagami-san was about to voice. “You’re fine, Asagami-san. I just wanted to play the song for you because I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t want anyone else to feel the same way when there’s so much more in the world to discover and enjoy.”

Asagami-san’s shoulders shook against her shawl, causing the red cloth to fall back and expose the barely hidden scars against the black collar of her kimono. “…I thought I couldn’t feel anything outside of pain. Not after Keita-san a-and Shiki-san.” Keita-san? Shiki-san? “But you—”

“I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you,” I said honestly, raising my hand for a moment before lowering it. Even if I was tempted to pat her back as a form of sympathy, from the way Asagami-san was hunching into herself, it wasn’t the best time to intrude on her personal space bubble. I made this bed, and I was going to lie in it even if I wasn’t sure of what was going on. “I put a lot in what I do. But I meant everything I said. And what I felt when I played the piano.”

It was at that very moment I saw a small droplet hit the edge of Asagami-san’s kimono sleeve. Oh. Oh dear. “Wh-why…” there was a dainty sniffle, “why didn’t I meet you sooner? If I knew you before, then—”

Screw it.

I reached over to gently rest my palm against the hand Asagami-san was using to grip her cane. “But you’re here, Asagami-san,” I said, feeling my smile wobble all the more at seeing more droplets fall onto Asagami-san’s kimono, creating dark wet circles in the black cloth. “You’re still here now. And I’m glad that you are.”

Asagami-san shuddered, her shawl barely covering her back with the gesture tilting her center of balance. “I-I feel like crying. It hurts. I-It all hurts. C-Can I… Can I cry?” For a grown woman, I was not expecting the childlike tone of wonder in her voice. “Hoshino-san, can I cry?”

My heart hurt. Something must’ve happened for her to react so much. Even then, I still curled my fingers so that they could brush against Asagami-san’s hand and hopefully relax her grip on her cane. Physical comfort was the least I could give after unearthing something so heavy. “Of course you can. That’s a part of what makes you human, Asagami-san. Crying is a part of what helps all of us be alive.”

The first sob I heard from her then sounded more like a relieved laugh than a cry for help. Even then, Asagami-san shrunk into her seat at the piano bench, purple hair shrouding her face all the while. I simply kept my palm against her knuckles, controlling my own breathing to not cry myself from the shared emotion.

“M-May I—” Asagami-san choked around another sob as her hand relaxed minutely under my grip, “May I come here again, Hoshino-san?”

“Yes,” I said faintly. “Of course. I wouldn’t say ‘no,’ Asagami-san. Feel free to visit Nagareboshi Café whenever you’d like. I’ll be here.”

It felt like a promise I couldn’t turn my back on. I wouldn’t.

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Long after Asagami-san left from the café closing for the day, I found myself letting go of the breath I was holding. Then a hand gently fell onto my hair.

“You okay, hime?” Papa whispered, patting my head for a moment before pulling me in for a side-hug. “Need anything?”

My lip quivered before I let go of my current inhibitions and wrapped my arms around his waist, converting the side-hug into a full-on hug. The fact that I was getting a faceful of his waist apron didn’t matter. Nor did the smell of what reminded me of day-old soda. No matter what, it was still Papa, and work was done. I could be selfish around him and it was okay. “M-More hugs, please, Papa.”

Papa laughed softly before resting a hand against my back and patting there too. “Alright. You did well, hime.”

“I-I followed your example, daddy,” I whispered back, finding my voice going back to Vy’s for just that moment. “Help others when you have the ability to.”

“And that, hime,” Papa replied wistfully and proudly, “is what makes your heart a good one. Just let me and Mama help you next time. You can’t do everything alone and we’re still here. We’ll play a full concert together when Asagami-san comes back.”

“Aye. Th-That’ll be nice.” If it meant one more wounded person could smile, that was enough for me. I didn’t have to shoulder everything. And one concert could possibly make one more day won from the dirty clutches of war. I’d just have to settle for that.

Maybe next time, Asagami-san could smile without tears in her eyes.

#birthday gift #writing #hoshino tomoko #asagami fujino #oneshot #happy birthday friend #happy birthday Aqui #withanina #friend things #long post #tw: trigger mention #implied blindness #kara no kyoukai #tw: long post #the sea and stars #hisako #yuki judai

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writingmyimagines · 6 years ago

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Liquid Courage

Billy Hargrove x Reader

Warnings: Cursing and suggestive themes

Word Count: 3.7k

Bright pink. Suddenly all you could see was the brightest, most fluorescent pink that you had ever laid eyes on and it was shoved into your face.

You immediately drew back from the intrusion. “What the hell?” you yelled, directed at your attacker.

Your friend Jessica started laughing so hard she nearly threw her milk up as Aaron watched on. Claire had so kindly shoved a pink flyer in your face and began to start waving it around again when you huffed out, “What is that and why do you keep smashing it into my face?”

She backed off ever so slightly, but her eyes shone as brightly as ever. “This, my dear (Y/N) is the opportunity of a lifetime.” Silence rested between you two for a moment, before you waved your hand, urging her to say something meaningful.

“This is an invite to one of Tommy’s parties tonight! I managed to snag it from Maggie who got it from Lexi who got it from Alex because I think they hooked up, who had gotten it from-”

You cut her off, grabbing her free hand and trying to calm her down for a second. She immediately took to breathing heavy, and you glanced at your other two friends for some help with her. “Claire, one thing at a time. Are you sure the invite was meant for you? I mean, we aren’t exactly the most popular people around here.”

You didn’t mean to break her optimistic heart, but it was true. The four of you often spent weekends at the record store, in the park, or just goofing off in each other’s houses. While you may have gotten drunk on a few occasions, Jessie’s dad being rather lenient with his liquor cabinet, you had never been to a party. Aaron had been to one when he had briefly dated Emily, one of Carol’s friends, but the three of you weren’t ever on the party scene.

She started frowning, furrowing her eyebrows at you, before retorting, “Of course it is, or at least, it doesn’t matter. It’s not like we’re the computer geeks or band nerds, we are attractive ladies, and Aaron, and practically all of Hawkins will be there anyways. There is quite literally nothing stopping us.”

Jessie piped in, “Honestly, it might be kind of fun? I haven’t been to a high school party and I think it’s a good idea to try before we go to college and are in way over our heads.” Ah yes, always the voice of reason.

You nodded slowly, figuring this all out. She had a point, it could be fun, really fun actually. Wild things always happened at Tommy’s parties. Hell, at the last big one before winter break, she had heard that Steve “The Hair” Harrington was dumped by Nancy Wheeler for Jonathan Byers of all people and lost his title as The King of Hawkins. Maybe something else wild would happen, and it would be nice to see it up close instead of hearing it through the grapevine for once.

Your gaze turned to Aaron who had a laidback smile on his face, “I’m in, I need to cool off after that math test today. And I’ve heard things can get pretty crazy…” he raised his eyebrows suggestively, turning towards the table of cheerleaders before you slapped him on the arm.

Claire grabbed your hand again, looking at you with big blue puppy dog eyes, “Come on (Y/N), we were supposed to have a sleepover and help watch the house while my parents go to Indianapolis for their anniversary. It’s perfect timing! Come on, please!”

You couldn’t help the smile that crept it’s way onto your face, not really seeing a downside to it. Claire cheered and yelled a bit, before calming down so she wouldn’t bring attention to you guys. She started ranting, “Okay, you guys can all meet at my house at 6 and we can get ready and maybe even get the party started early if you know what I mean? We can help do each other’s hair and…” she went off on a tangent about the night’s plan as you felt a flutter in your chest, your heart beating faster.

Not to be dramatic, but your life had seemed so boring and stereotypical lately. School, a few clubs here and there, spending time with friends. The best thing that had happened was there was a rumor of a mall being built soon, but it was probably just a rumor. Hawkins truly was a town where nothing ever changed, but perhaps today was the day that it would.

The sun had long since set on three girls giggling in a bathroom, golden rays changing to the bright light of the stars as they readied for the night ahead.

You smiled cheekily at Jessica as you tried out a magenta lipstick on her, complementing the lavender hues on her eyes. She laughed as you smudged a bit and you heard a groan from downstairs.

A male voice yelled up, “Would you three hurry up? I thought we were going to try and pre-game together? Not just leave me to sit on the couch and die of boredom.”

This caused more giggling to ensue, though the brunette you were just slathering lipstick onto added, “Maybe we should finish up. The party starts at 9 and we’ve already spent at least an hour getting ready.”

Claire was busy trying to tease her hair even more in the mirror, reaching for heights not yet known. She made a hum in agreeance before waltzing out of the bathroom.

You glanced yourself once over in the somewhat frosted mirror. Your hair was styled perfectly, more hair spray than usual, but still more relaxed than not. Makeup was heavier, but no crazy colors, and your skin tight skirt made your ass look fantastic. You had to hand it to Jessie, you looked hot.

So you quickly jogged to catch up with the two of them as you guys made your way downstairs to greet Aaron, rolling his eyes before actually glancing up at you three. He certainly looked taken aback and you felt your back straighten while a smile grew on your face.

He nodded, before commenting, “Not bad ladies, not bad at all. Now let’s get wasted.” He took out a bottle of whiskey that he had been hiding behind his back.

And an hour later, the four of you had a nice buzz going and the whiskey bottle lay empty on the floor. Aaron swiped his keys off of the desk as you all readied yourselves.

You giggled, before dragging Claire to the car, wanting to hurry up and get there already. You felt loose and free and just happy, though you couldn’t deny the heavy beat of your heart as you got closer.

There was not much talking in the car, blasting Queen instead on the way to Tommy’s. But even the radio got quiet in comparison to the booming coming out of what you could only assume was the party house. You grabbed Claire’s hand, making an excitable scream before hustling out of the car. This looked absolutely gnarly. You bit your lip in anticipation as the others got out at a snail’s pace. But finally, you were walking up, the four of you quiet, and Claire swung open the door.

The latest AC/DC song blared over some speakers as you were all hit with the stench of alcohol and sweat. People were dancing on every open space in the living room and it was hard to see past them. Everyone had a red solo cup or can in their hand and you just stood there for a moment with your mouth wide open.

Quickly though, you were pulled by your hand, dragged to the kitchen where you were rapidly handed a cup. Without giving you a second to think, Claire clinked your glass and yelled, “Cheers!” before chugging at least half of whatever drink you had. You followed suit, but made a face as nearly all you could taste in this was vodka.

You started to put the cup down, when she pushed it closer to you, “Oh come on, we’re hardly buzzed. Tonight we let loose.” And you both made your way to the make-shift dance floor.

Minutes turned into an hour or two and things were seeming to peak. Brady was about to try and crowd surf as a few couples waltzed upstairs, whispering into each other’s ear. You danced on, drinking a beer, you think. You were pretty drunk at this point and had lost Claire in the crowd. You were also fairly sure you had seen Jessica and Aaron walk out back a while ago. But that wasn’t stopping you, especially once you heard the intro to Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics.

Your body started swaying with the first few chords, running your hands through your hair and singing quietly to yourself. Your hips kept up perfectly with the beat and you added a few moves of your own, shaking your hair from side to side, bending down and popping back up, and without realizing, you had half of the room watching you.

It wasn’t until the dance break that you looked around, seeing quite a few boys and girls eyes on you. But you kept up, just feeling for once instead of thinking. You even mouthed the words, glancing from classmate to classmate before ocean eyes held yours.

Your breath caught in your chest as you realized the new King of Hawkins was watching your every move. And you loved it, so you smirked, before whipping your hair back around and continuing to sway with the booming rhythm. Emboldened by the liquor running through your system, you were trying to grab the attention of Billy Hargrove. Never in your wildest dreams had you thought of talking to this boy, let alone trying to entice him. He was rude, uncaring, blunt, and undeniably hot.

It wasn’t until the music began to fade into some Foreigner song that you felt a presence behind you and hot breath on your ear. “Nice dance moves darlin’.”

You turned slowly, hips brushing as you turned around to see the blonde that was on your mind. You smiled cheekily, “Well thank you, I noticed you watching and just couldn’t help myself.”

Woah, what just came out of your mouth? Claire would not believe this.

“Oh so you were trying for my attention then?” You kept his hard gaze, throat going a bit dry at being singled out like this. And those beautiful teal eyes just saw right through you, right into you. You had to remind yourself that he couldn’t read your thoughts, when he continued, “Well you have it, what do you want to do with it?”

He put his hand gently on your hip, squeezing lightly and looking you up and down once more. Your body felt absolutely electric. But the air here was hot, and with him this close, you weren’t sure you could bear much more heat.

You leaned into his touch, pushing his curls back as you whispered, “Maybe you want to take this outside?” Your fingertips tingled as they fell from his hair and you leaned back.

He didn’t say anything, but pulled you closer, putting his arm around your waist and guiding you to the backyard where there were significantly less people. You focused on his hot touch, able to feel the calluses on his hands on the small part of your midriff that was on display. Your mind was going crazy with fantasies. You had always dreamed of some boy stealing you off like this, but now those wild dreams had a face, and god was it good-looking.

Eyes shifted to the two of you as you made your way to Tommy’s porch, and then the side of the house. He pushed you into the wall with just a bit of force, looking to see if anybody dared get near him. He turned back to you, tongue flicking his lips before he said, “We’re outside, now what do you want darlin’?”

Cheap vodka was flowing through your system and you giggled, watching him carefully so that his figure didn’t turn double. You bit the edge of your lip, finally processing what he had said before you purred, “You.”

His lips were on yours quicker than wildfire, and they felt like it too. Surprisingly soft lips contrasted with the scratch of his slight stubble on your cheeks. You weren’t sure if it was your breath or his that smelled overwhelmingly of alcohol, but you didn’t care as one of his hands left the wall and went back to your hip, starting to massage it.

You playfully licked his lips, gauging his response. But you didn’t have to wait, his tongue started battling yours and you couldn’t help but moan into him, grabbing back up to his golden hair. You were in heaven.

As if underwater, you heard a voice call, “Nice one Hargrove!” and then a growl came out of his throat. You glanced up at him, blackened eyelashes batting at him, wanting nothing but his touch. He glared at one of his basketball teammates before taking your hand and walking to the front yard. You stumbled on the way, your vision getting fuzzier as you fought to keep up with him. He led you into his Camaro not a few houses down, and surprisingly he was gentle. No words were exchanged before you got into his backseat and he smirked at you, asking, “Is this what you wanted? Something a little more private?” His voice deepened to a growl again at the last few words.

You nodded quickly, making yourself dizzy although the car was already spinning. You pulled his lips back onto yours, grabbing at his signature jean jacket for balance as much as to pull him in. You made out, and it was hot.

You started trying to pull off his jacket when you missed and tried to grab the seatback, but fell from your precariously balanced position onto the carseat. Giggles erupted from your mouth as you struggled to breathe and he just looked at you for a second. “Are you okay darlin’?”

Even you, in your inebriated state, could see that he had gotten softer, not as passionate. You closed your eyes for a second and felt wildly nauseous, opening them up quickly. You tried to nod, but suddenly the slight throbbing in your head that you thought was the music became a raucous smashing. You reached for his shirt again, not saying anything, as you weren’t entirely sure you could.

He pushed your hand back down and helped you sit back up. You watched him look at you critically. Suddenly, you felt embarrassed, let down, and very very sick. He put his hand on your back gently and you pushed off from him, slamming open the car door as you vomited onto the ground. Oh god, that was awful, but at least you felt a bit better. You also figured he would kick you out the moment you stopped, but his hand went back to your back. He started rubbing in soothing circles as you vomited again, sobering up fairly quickly.

You sat there for a second, half your body out of the car, and your face flushed red. Embarrassment ran through you, white hot, making you want to start bawling and screaming simultaneously. You had made out with Billy Hargrove, only to puke outside of the side of his car and humiliate yourself for the rest of your life. Surely, on Monday, every student and their mother would know about the nobody who got so drunk she couldn’t even make out with him.

“Really, are you okay?”

Slowly, not wanting to upset your body anymore, you glanced at him again. Your glassy orbs met his and you hated how perfect he looked. Blonde hair mussy, shirt open showing his Adonis-like body, and blue-green eyes staring into yours. You could feel your hair stick to your head from sweating and couldn’t imagine what your mouth smelled like. Oh god.

“Hey, wait just a second,” he murmured and you thought once more he would boot you out of the car. He lurched forward and grabbed some napkins from his glove box, handing them to you gently, before also sliding you a mint. He chuckled a bit as your eyes widened and eyebrows furrowed, expecting anything but this from the school’s resident jackass. “A bit too much liquor, eh?”

He sat back, the two of you now sitting quietly in his back seat and you felt your face flush once more, your senses having mostly returned. You cleaned yourself up the best you could, before you turned back to him. He was just watching you, and you stuttered out, “Hey, I am so sorry for this. Just forget it ever happened, I’ll be going.”

You headed for the door before he grabbed for your hand, he called back, “I don’t mind.” Silence, you avoiding his gaze while he searched for yours as you debated just running away from Hawkins and never looking back. He added, “I don’t think I’ve seen you before, not a party-er?”

Gears in your head ground against each other, trying to process that the most popular boy in school was trying to talk with you after you had made out with him, tried to get with him, and then puked out the side of his car. You retorted, “Yeah, I guess for a reason as we both can see.”

The two of you shared a quiet laugh and you added, “You can kick me out anytime you know.”

He laughed again, before shaking his head, “Nah, kinda nice not having to be around those shit-head morons.”

A surprised chuckle escaped your throat as your mouth lay agape, “I’m sorry, I thought those kind of people were who you liked to spend time with?”

“Bunch of artificial assholes, boring.” He looked back to you, and for the first time in a few minutes, your gaze met. And you stared at each other.

“What do you do anyway, when your not failing to hold your liquor?” You grimaced, head still throbbing, and you looked at him. “I have hobbies besides partying, something I’m not sure you can understand. I like to sing, and read books, and just act like an idiot with my friends, but we don’t always need to get drunk for that.”

He sighed, and looked down, all the while nodding. “Yeah I guess, it can be an escape though, you know?”

Woah, who was this and what had he done with Billy Hargrove, King of Hawkins, basketball star, badass with an ass? Was he serious?

He gave a bitter laugh, before responding, “It doesn’t matter anyways, who the fuck here actually gives a shit.”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement and you couldn’t help but stare at him, wanting to see his eyes. He was glaring at his car’s carpet and your hands got clammy as you tried to think of what to say to him. He suddenly seemed upset, but not angry, like, melancholic? “I dunno, some people care, it just takes a while to find the right ones,” you wanted to encourage him.

More silence. After a while he murmured, “Maybe some people just can’t be cared about.”

Your heart broke. If someone had told you at the beginning of today you would be trying to comfort Billy fucking Hargrove after making out with him and getting sick in his car, you would’ve sent them to an institution. But here you were. Your hand reached for his back and he immediately straightened up, pushing you off.

“And some don’t want to be,” he looked forward before looking back at your unsure, frozen form. You could see him set his jaw and saw his eyes slowly lose their glisten. And you both just stared again. He had just cried, no, screamed out for help and you just sat there watching. You whispered, “And maybe those are the people that need it the most.”

You reached for his hand. He tried to move, but you held his as firmly as you could, trying to squeeze some sense into him.

Suddenly he slammed open his car door, moving his way to the front and settling in the driver’s seat. He waited a few moments before looking back at you and calling, “You gonna come up here or do I have to grab your ass?”

You shook your head, and quickly got out, moving to the passenger’s seat per his request. He revved the car, turning on the radio, Aerosmith screaming back at you. He shouted over the radio, “Where should I drop you off?”

You started to shake your head before he cut you off, “None of that bullshit, where are you going?”

You bit your lip again, before telling him Claire’s address. The two of you drove in silence, him staring violently ahead at the road and you stealing glances at him out of the corner of your eye. It was strange to say the least, but in a few minutes, you were outside Claire’s.

Both of you looked at each other as he parked. The Billy you had seen a few minutes earlier was gone and suddenly he was King Billy again. “Well that was very sweet of you. Thank you.”

He shrugged it off, “Don’t mention it, seriously. I’ve got a reputation.”

You laughed, seeing through his walls suddenly and acted without thinking. You leaned in, grabbing his jaw gently kissing him on the cheek. Quietly, you told him, “I care Billy.”

With that, you hurried out of the car, not looking back, and ran to Claire’s door. You opened up the door, getting inside as he sped off, tires squealing and music immediately blaring again. What a night.

#stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #imagines #reader insert #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove imagines #imagine #x reader #billy hargrove x reader #fanfiction #fanfic

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soaringsearingphoenix · 5 years ago

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If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog!

Omg i sent this to ppl and then i forgot to answer it myself lol okay uhh

I’ve traveled out of the country but not out of the continent!

As a kid i watched every one of the Eyewitness VHS tapes they had in the library. Ive always loved learning, and they were so approachable and fun. (The song i was listening to as i tried to think of something to say reminded me of the intro theme, which i would hum along to)

Ive listened to the entire discography of They Might Be Giants. You can tell when my life has shifted significantly because my favorite song or album by them changes. (I haven’t been rigorously keeping track but it was Why Does The Sun Shine? in eighth grade, Birdhouse In Your Soul around high school, Climbing The Walls near the end of high school, and Self Called Nowhere for a while after. Currently it’s circled back to Damn Good Times, which it has been before but I forget exactly when).

#thanks for asking!

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illicien · 6 years ago

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Prelude to Night

Look I know this is clearly an IronStrangeFrost blog, but I’ve had this piece sitting around forever as the prelude to an IronStrange fic and I need to do something with it to try and motivate my ass to get writing the rest of the damn fic. So have some Mordo/Strange Vampire AU stuff. It is not happy. It is not cute. Don’t expect warm fluffies. Unless you get warm fluffies from dark stuff in which case - no judgement, you do you, I salute you. Rating: M Warnings: Blood, violence, manipulation/mind control, character death (sort of) Themes: Vampires (as inspired primarily by the World of Darkness/New World of Darkness, but look I read and write a lot of vampire stuff so there are influences from everywhere. I’m just also a dirty dirty LARPer and I spent years with WoD.) Pairings: Mordo/Strange

Notes: For Mordo/Strange shippers - I’m sorry this is literally all I have for you right now! As I said this was the prelude to an IronStrange fic. But y’all are damn valid and I see you!!

For IronStrange shippers - I’m also sorry this is all I have for you right now! If you’re interested, I will do my best to get on finishing this darn fic. But dangit, I derive most of my motivation from readers and collaborators, and keeping things to myself like this usually just leads me into a writer’s block.

Now then, on with the story...

Most people don’t know what it means to be unmade. Most people hadn’t descended the way he had.

At first it had been little steps, one at a time. A staircase into darkness. He didn’t know what had happened at first it was such a small thing. So simple.

He mistook it for falling in love at first sight. They caught each other’s eyes across a room and there was a magnetism that drove him to approach the other man. It wasn’t as though he normally would have avoided everyone at the party, but his mind and heart pulled him to the other in a way he hadn’t felt before - he didn’t simply want to speak with the other, he’d needed to.

They spent the night talking. The man knew who he was, that was no surprise at a function like this. It was a gathering of medical professionals and he wasn’t precisely unknown or an unusual person to see at these kinds of gatherings, and the stranger was more than happy to engage him on a great number of subjects from experimental procedures to the intricacies of navigating med school.

While the other showed no interest in drinking, he’d definitely shown an interest in the Doctor’s advancements - not in a way that seemed amused or condescending, but also not in an overeager way. He was refined, almost too elegant about things as he offered a hand to the Doctor to lead him elsewhere. Tipsy and utterly enamored as he was, he’d followed.

It was a memory he’d never forget, a beautiful memory. He was lost in a sea of sensation, disconnected from his own body, unfamiliar with what he was experiencing. The other wasn’t gentle with him, he bit and clawed at him, encouraging reciprocation and the moment the man’s blood touched his tongue he’d felt stronger - empowered.

Different.

From that night he’d been trapped.

The Baron had been prepared for him, looking for him quite specifically. He’d had his reasons and despite the Doctor’s oaths they began to slip. There were more pressing things than simply saving lives. The Baron had needs and it was the Doctor’s pleasure to fill those needs. It was a compulsion.

At first it was as simple as letting him siphon off his blood - a little at a time, they were both well enough aware of the limitations of his body, despite the changes he’d gone through. The Baron would show up once a week in the evenings wherever the Doctor was, and more often than not the Doctor made himself available at home for it.

He’d found it much more pleasant to feed the man at home where he could disappear into the bliss of sex even though it often left the Doctor to fall asleep and awaken again alone, mostly healed up and otherwise patched up. Well enough to work.

Eventually the Baron came more often but it wasn’t for blood. Not his anyway. The Doctor began to sneak bags of blood from the hospital at the Baron’s wish. One or two here and there, nothing dramatic but enough to sate the man at first - enough to earn him a smile, praise, signs of pleasure. There was a pride that swelled in the Doctor each time, like a well trained dog.

In hindsight that was all he was. A dog.

His master’s blood in his system wasn’t enough when he went over the edge. It healed the superficial wounds - enough so that the paramedics at first were confused by his state - but without being able to see the Baron, to taste his power, there was no saving him. And his master didn’t come.

There was only so much that could be done. During the time he spent in hospital there was no sign of the Baron, and his hands resembled something more like claws than hands by the time he was released. They’d been clear - his scans had been clear - he’d never be able to perform surgery again.

They trembled such that he could barely lift a glass of water at first and then they trembled for his fury at that knowledge, and the desperation to see his master again. He spent weeks alone, angry, frustrated and lost without guidance. The rare occasion someone arrived, he felt his heart surge in anticipation before dropping back into its misery as he sent visitors away, content to disappear into his solitude as he awaited his master.

It was two months before the man appeared, green robes and skin that seemed almost a part of the night, brown eyes piercing through him in the dark. But the broken man could feel it, a surge of hope for only the briefest of moments.

The Baron didn’t smile as he approached the place the broken man slumped with his hands cradled against him in shame. A strong hand ran into his hair, grasping firmly to tilt his head back watching him sternly a moment before tsking quietly into the night. The broken man allowed his head to be adjusted to the man’s pleasure, intent on proving he was still of use - he still had something to give, even if his title no longer granted him the access he’d had before.

He still bled and the Baron knew it.

“Please help,” the broken man had whispered as his head was rolled to one side, baring his throat and the Baron simply hummed in thought.

“I cannot fix your hands, Stephen.” His voice was calm and quiet even as he knelt beside the broken man, his other hand gentle on the broken man’s scruffy face. “Not like this.”

“I can still be useful,” he insisted, sounding desperate to his own ears, and the hand on his face moved to silence him.

“Not as you are. Perhaps if you become more.” The brush of lips along his neck left him to shiver, relaxing entirely into the man’s hold.

The Baron’s bite was not gentle. It was fierce in a way the broken man had never felt before, the fangs tore into his neck painfully but he didn’t protest, emitting a small whimper as he slumped against his master. The other showed no restraint - he didn’t pull back, holding him firmly in place when he started to struggle slightly, his head growing light and the cold he’d felt in his hands beginning to creep through the rest of his body.

He opened his mouth as realization hit: the Baron wasn’t going to stop. He was taking much more from him than he’d taken before and he felt his heart begin to hammer heavily in his chest.

“You’re-!” The hand on his face grasped at him more firmly, covering his mouth and silencing his verbal panic.

The Baron was killing him. He was going to die. Even as he attempted to struggle he was held more firmly, the glass behind him cracking in testament to the strength with which he was being restrained, his jaw echoing the sound when he tried to struggle further.

His vision grew steadily more bleary as the Baron dug more firmly into his neck, a feeling that was once accompanied by pleasure becoming absolute torment. A little at a time he was dying and the harder his heart beat in his chest the closer he raced to his death. The broken man could barely keep himself upright, not that it mattered for the strength that pinned him in place.

Eventually his eyelids were too heavy to stay open and the hand released his face, fangs and the warmth of the other man’s mouth leaving him.

At first he thought he’d be left alone just like that, his body twitching and shuddering by no strength of his own - and then warmth came. A drop on his lips and then his head was tilted back and the warmth filled his mouth. A hand massaged his throat, encouraging the liquid down his throat.

He didn’t know how long, how much, but eventually the warmth was brushed over the gashes in his neck and the other pulled away again, leaving the broken man to slump into a heap on the floor. He was dying… he was really dying. The liquid - his master’s blood - wasn’t going to do anything to replenish the blood he’d lost. There was no means by which his stomach would divert the blood to his veins - to his failing heart.

“Whether you survive or not is up to you.” He vaguely heard the Baron speak, his voice growing quieter as he walked away. “Find me if you wake up.”

And he was alone.

His heartbeat had slowed, his body was heavy and his head was light all at once. Tears burned down his cheeks as consciousness came and went, and any joy he’d felt at the knowledge that he’d improbably survived his car crash felt wasted. He would die now instead.

He’d been abandoned and left to die alone.

Yup. So that’s my intro. Needed to get that off my chest. Maybe I can finally get my butt back to working on the rest of the darn fic now and some juicy juicy IronStrange.

#MCU Fanfiction #MCU Fanfic #<1500 words #MCU Vampire AU #Vampire AU #Stephen Strange #Karl Mordo #Baron Mordo #Doctor Strange #Mordo x Strange #MordoStrange #TW Violence #TW Blood #To be honest it's a vampire fic if you didn't expect blood idk what to tell you #Fic Intro #Narrator Has Limited Insight #TW Manipulation #TW Mind Control

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magicalsalamander · 7 years ago

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Aurelius Part 4

Pairing: BTS Namjoon ⇆ Reader

Genre: Werewolf | Fluff | Angst | Smut [later] |

Summary: When the daughter of the secretary for the Minister for Wolf and Canine relations is the last living member of her clan, she must find a way to avenge her family. She must find a way to put an end to the hunters whose sole purpose is to cleanse the world of werewolves. The golden one hasn’t forgotten. Will she be able to get the revenge she needs?

Words:7.5 K

Warnings: Rated Mature; Explicit themes.

A/N: Orig post: 08|02| 2018; Updated intro 12|12|19. Part of the KLF Universe.

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My head whipped to the presences in the doorway. My rose-golden eyes glowing intensely as the blue moonlight silhouetted Namjoon and I. The tightly wound gauze slipped through my fingers bouncing twice, rolling across the room until it tapped against Alpha Kim’s slipper. The deep voice commanding my attention resonated through my bones. The room fell silent waiting for me to answer; all eyes were on me.

Alpha Kim repeated himself unmoved from the doorway, his broad shoulders nearly took up the whole expanse of the entryway, “Who are you?”

Namjoon felt his stomach-churning, but it wasn’t from his blood loss or wound, it was my intense distress. His eyes flickered red at unsettling nausea, his wolf whining at the tangible anxiousness filtering in the air. He reached out to me resting his large hand on my shoulder, “Aure?”

My heart pounded in my chest as if the beats of my own the heart was thumping the question in echo: Who are you?

I blinked back into reality, the weight of Namjoon’s hand bringing me back from the dark. I answered with more confidence than I was sure I had, “Aure, I’m Aure. Its…what I mean is,” I shyly gestured with my eyes staring at everyone, holding Namjoon’s gaze for a moment longer before I stepped away and his hand dropped, ” —all this? All this is just a bit overwhelming. I’m not—I just don’t know how to rely on others. All of you, you immediately came to Namjoon’s side. Back in the forest, when that rogue attacked Joon I felt helpless.” I turned away from Namjoon’s intense gaze, “I just don’t belong…here. I’m too dangerous to have around.”

I wasn’t strong enough to protect my family and I couldn’t protect Namjoon. Who is Aure? Is she the person I’ve become fully and left Y/N behind? I don’t like this weak person I’ve become; the roots haven’t been severed and burnt soil was growing weeds. I don’t want to feel that way.

I looked away from everyone in the room, feeling claustrophobic at the sudden attention on me.

A small growl rolled up Namjoon’s throat, his wolf angry at me for rejecting him emotionally. Although he knew it was my insecurities seeping up, it hurt to know I felt that way, that I looked at myself as being less than. His wolf upset at himself for letting me feel so hopeless.

The scrunch in Alpha Kim’s brows settled as his eyes softened, his fatherly instincts prevailing. He pushed off the doorway and stepped into the infirmary, “You belong here Aure. You don’t notice it, but members of the pack have started to look up to you, especially Aviva. Aure, you healed Namjoon on your own and was able commanding others like a leader. You stitched him up without any formal training. Things happen and you stepped up when you were needed…like a Luna. It’s scary, I’ll admit even I find myself afraid at times, but you did it. Aure, you belong here...with us.”

I wanted to scoff or laugh, but my inner wolf still knew respect at times like this, “With all due respect Alpha Kim, I’m not—.”

His voice grew deeper and stern, “Aure, a Luna is not to speak so lowly of herself. I don’t want to hear that from you again that you are not enough.” Alpha Kim turned towards his mother, “is Joon’s treatment finished for him to move back to his room?”

Mama Luna’s eyes were soft as she picked up the band-aid wrap and moved proudly towards me. She rubbed my arm gently, bringing me into a tight hug, “You did so well.”

I went rigor in the hug, Mama Luna’s has never shown this much open affection towards me. This was the first compliment I’ve received from her. I felt the match strike within me, flipping the switch, warmth blossoming like spring, a season I haven’t felt in years. The same safety and comfort I felt only from having the warmth of…a family. I warily wrapped my arms around her reciprocating the best I could.

Living at Nana’s and Papa’s, I was always on edge, and that intuition proved to be right. I could stop running away, they were letting me know that I can stop pushing them away. I was, and have been, accepted as one of them for a while now. I was just so caught up in my own cloud of anxiety and uncertainty to notice the hands reaching out to me.

If they were trying, I could try too.

She rubbed my back before she let go to attend to her grandson. “Joonie, let me see. Are you in—,” her murmuring to Namjoon faded out as Alpha Kim approached me.

He reached up and scratched off drying blood on my cheek and smiled at me for the first time genuinely. My heart skipped a beat, “You did good kid.” He patted my shoulder watching as his mother confirmed my procedure and methodology, a faint proud smile on his face.

Namjoon was able to slide himself off the table, but he wasn’t stable on his feet. His legs went numb for sitting for so long, instinctually I slipped in and under his uninjured side stabilizing him. Alpha Kim attempted to take on his weight, but I assured him I could carry Namjoon. Mama Luna smirked cleaning up the dirty instruments, “Take him to his room Aure, we’ll see you in the morning. Get some rest.”

I attempted my best bow before I was waddling down the hall to his room. I caught on to subtle murmuring from Alpha Kim before I was out of earshot, “she’s so much like him.” I tuned out feeling rude for listening into a conversation I had no right being in.

I leaned Namjoon on the wall as I shoved his door open and carefully waddled with him to side of his bed. I was completely aware of his bare chest pressing into me. I untucked and pulled back his black sheets the best I could while still holding him. I wrapped my arm behind him maintaining my best neutral face as I settled him into bed, he stared at me as I adjusted the blanket over him, “Is this fine? Does it hurt?” Namjoon nodded assuring me he was fine, he was soaking in all the attention from his mate. The look he was giving me reminded me of only hours ago, when he hovered over me with that same look of adoration…right before—.

I stood there for a moment unsure of what to do next fiddling with the hem my shirt. I took a step back nodding one last time and began turning away towards my own room. He caught my wrist and I gasped tumbling back around eyes wide at the dimpled man. His eyes were half-lidded as exhaustion was setting in, “Thank you, Aure.” He shifted our hands around until our pinkies were holding onto eachother tightly. “I will always keep my promise to protect you. Always.”

Tears were brimming in my eyes, but I bit them back before they streamed, swallowing them down, “You idiot, you’re not supposed to get hurt.”

He managed to chuckle softly, catching the near whisper of a jab at his ego.

I found it hard to leave his side, leave the warmth, the gentle comfort Namjoon offered. I didn’t want to be alone tonight. I sat down on the bed, smoothing my thumb over the back of his hand and kept up the gestured as he fell asleep. I began humming the song my mother taught me so long ago, “…moon spirt be guided through this night, so you can meet the morning light.” Content rumbles escaped his lacked lips as he breathed steadily, falling deeper into sleep. The adrenaline was flushing from my system and my eyes began to droop and body heavy with the need for sleep. I kept watching him and humming until eventually the lullaby put me to sleep.

I woke up to soft rhythmic beat pounding in my ear accompanied by calidity. The heat was unfamiliar, the feeling of the thin blankets draped over me and the sensation of flesh was unfamiliar. My cheek against skin was unlike the divot of my face squished into my lackluster pillow I’m accustom to. Despite the strange feelings, I didn’t want to move away, so instead I nuzzled closer into the heat. The scent emitting from the personal fireplace was a blend of lavender and honey, so narcoleptically calming and soothing I hummed as my wolf rolled in tranquil happiness.

My eyes shot open in late realization, I was pressed against a bare chest—Namjoon’s naked chest. I looked around the room the curtain was flowing as fresh morning air breezed in through the open window. Peeking through the curtain as it blew about the sky was crystal blue with cotton clouds littered about. The birds were chirping over the distant sound of tress rustling in delight. I followed the toned arm supporting my neck to his exposed thick neck, then looked up slowly to a sharp jaw the held a sculpted canvas of plush, pink lips and eyes covered by bands of a splayed fringe. Namjoon looked at peace, slightly smiling in his sleep as his chest rose and fell softly. I must’ve fallen asleep next to him and somehow found my way under the covers…and in his arms.

He grumbled as he turned away from the sunlight pouring in. A subconscious purr of content rumbled in Namjoon’s chest as he wrapped his arm around me bringing me tighter into his side. He lazily blinked awake, angling his face towards mine resting on his shoulder until our noses grazed. His breath fanning over my lips was intimate as we locked eyes, the morning sunlight couldn’t compare to the glimmer in his. A soft smile pulled his dimples into sight, “Hmm—‘mornin.” He tried tucking me into his side even further, but I pulled away and shimmed out of his grasp. I was afraid of putting pressure on his wounds, even werewolves needed a day to recuperate, I knew that very well. His thick lips pinched together in a pout and whined, “Why are you moving away? Come back.”

“Does it hurt?” I looked at him first for a go ahead to check up on his wound. He grinned at me, mischief sparkling behind that smile, and lifted the sheets off us. I turned away blushing like crazy despite already having seen his toned chest, “Namjoon!”

He laughed softly, “Why are you getting shy all the sudden?” I turned back looking through my fingers with a slight scowl. I reached out to press around the area over the wound observing his features for any sign of pain, but his dimples were still prominent. “I’m a strong man Aure, don’t underestimate my wolf. I’m sure its nothing more than a cat scratch now.” He pulled me back into his side tangling our legs together and adjusting me so I rested my head on his shoulder, “Five more minutes, just five more minutes.” I couldn’t protest, because that’s exactly where I wanted to be: by his side.

In fact, I couldn’t protest the rest of the week. Namjoon persuaded his father to give him time off from his apprenticeship with the argument “I need to focus on getting better so when I go back I’m in perfect shape”. I knew better, he was milking it, the wound looked good as new two days later. Honestly speaking at first It was odd having him around all day, but I never realized how much I liked him being next to me through the day; it settled my wolf. I found myself laughing and giggling like a school girl whenever I’d catch him getting scolded by Mama Luna for being clumsy and breaking something. I’d nearly double over in laughter when I’d catch him “dancing” with his headphones in none the wiser I was watching. However, I couldn’t really complain, I was getting to know him better. I found out the little ticks about him I never noticed like how he used his hands to express things, or how he blushes after he shows me affection in front of everyone. Past the surface, I found out his adoration for philosophy, music—oh music—when I got the chance to ask him about he was like an overgrown puppy.

I found myself falling…for the clumsy wolf.

On the sixth day, I decided to take advantage of the mid-afternoon breeze. I was sitting on the back porch reading and Namjoon sat across from me reading his own book. He grunted and sighed loudly occasionally that became more frequent. I looked over the edge of my book and the whining stopped. I rolled my eyes and went back to reading. The sounds started up again, I looked up with a raised brow but like the times before the sounds stopped. I adjusted in my spot, resting my temple on my propped fist to get comfortable indefinitely, but only a minute later the sigh reached its loudest and most obnoxious decibel. I didn’t look up from my line, “What’s wrong Namjoon?”

He bit his lips and placed a thumb at the bottom of his page looking over to me with his tantalizing puppy eyes. “I’m just not comfortable, I’m cold too.”

I raised both brows at him, how could he be cold when we both were basking in sunlight?

He rolled his eyes frustrated that I couldn’t take a hint and grabbed my ankles and yanked me towards him. With a yelp I fell abstractly onto his chest. I pressed against his chest trying to pull away but he flipped me over so I was sitting in between his legs and my back was flat against his chest. I felt like a child leaning up against her oversized teddy bear. I wasn’t sure who was more childish about affection, but I was thankful he moved me this way because my face was burning up.

I melted into him, maybe he was right it was chilly all the sudden. He nuzzled into my neck rubbing his nose and cheek along the column before moving up to my hair. Once he was satisfied scenting me he then tucked his chin on my shoulder like an anchor and brought his arms around me before he declared, “Much better.” He opened his book back up and continued reading as if nothing happened.

I found myself laughing at how fast it all happened, “You know you could’ve just asked, right?”

He pecked my shoulder with a swift kiss, “But I like seeing you blush.”

If I was burning up before, I was sure I was a puddle of molten iron.

That night, I was looking out the window, the crickets were chirping loudly in the distance. I pushed Namjoon out of the room to go to sleep and shower, he had to go back tomorrow. However, ever since I feel asleep next to him he’s made an excuse up (and a good one) in order to sleep next to eachother. The first time I fell asleep on the couch and he just carried me to his bed, I woke up to reasoning, “It was too much trouble going left instead of right.” The butterflies still rumble in their cage in my chest at the memory.

I looked back out the window, it’s funny to think when I first arrived I wanted to jump out this window. Now I wanted nothing more than to stay, stay within arm’s reach of those within this house. I didn’t want to leave.

I sat by the window because I couldn’t sleep, my mind was racing in an infinite loop egged on by this lingering itch crawling up my throat. The way Namjoon held me today, the pace of his heart syncing with mine as we just…sat together. The more time I spent here I was really swallowing Alpha Kim’s words, this was my pack. I was a part of the pack. The sense of guilt bubbling up in my throat as I repeated the words to myself. I needed to settle my inner self if I truly wanted to be accepted by the Kim’s, by Namjoon.

I slipped off the edge of my bed my feet barely made a sound against the wooden floor. I don’t know why I felt the need to be inconspicuous as I snuck into the hallway. The soft hallway lights made Namjoon’s door seem wider and taller than it actually was. I bit on my thumb, clicking my thumbnail against my front teeth. I closed my eyes and pictured Namjoon’s dimples, his lips mouthing, “It’s okay, trust me.” I asked him to repeat it a few times before I pulled out my thumb and clenched my hand into a fist and knocked.

Not even a minute later he opened the door, he stood there in comfortable sleep wear, but his pupils dilated taking in my presence. The reaction really coming from the ridiculously audible heartbeat of mine in his ear. He immediately went into protective, instincts flaring up, mode sensing anxiety leaking from me. I stop him from questioning why I was standing at his door so late, “I want to show you something.”

He nodded, questions hanging on the tip of his tongue but refrained sensing this what I wanted to show him was important to me, “Okay.”

He silently followed me out to the edge of the woods, “I need you to trust me Joon. Will you follow me?”

He searched my eyes bringing me in close, his embrace calming my nerves slightly, “Is everything okay? I just need to know that.”

I smiled at him, “Yes, everything is actually more than okay… you’re here with me. Just trust me okay? I need to show you this.”

He nodded, that beautiful smile gracing his lips gave me all the assurance in the world.

With a pattern already established, I shifted then waited for Namjoon to follow up. The shift itself satisfied that itch to a degree. I felt so in tuned with the world, crisp clarity of my surrounding. When the near Olympus-descent-creature of a wolf rounded the tree, my tail wagged behind me. It will always be a bit surrealistic seeing Namjoon in his wolf form, the beast of the night standing tall. He trotted towards me and nuzzled against my head giving me a small lick at my ear in assurance I had his full trust.

I appreciated that he was being patient, but still affirmative. I reached up using his side as a step and licked his ear back. I climbed down nearly as soon as I reciprocated the affection and bashfully scampered towards a clearing. I could hear huffs of what would be human laughing, before his paws scrunched on mulch upon the same path I took. With a small nod back to him a small gesture that I was going for it, I lunged forth and ran. My heart was working overtime from the anxiety and pure adrenaline of running. I kept running, Namjoon stayed right by my side.

Namjoon wanted to howl in happiness, happy that I was letting him in and asking for trust. Happy that his Luna was leading him. Content with who destined picked out for him, because he couldn’t have asked for a better mate.

We ran for miles, however, my pace was still consistent despite the burn of exhausting setting in. Namjoon seemed unaffected, his breathing steady as he ran next to me. Namjoon was on high alert, he and the pack rarely ventured out this far to the border of the Park’s clan. The trees were becoming denser and thicker and the mulch was soft and moist under his paws. The night air was cool as the dew hanging in the air stuck to his pelt in the soft fog setting in.

I began to slow when the trees felt familiar, and the stench of car oil was within a half-mile. I slowed into a crawl, my ears flat against my head and caution on high when I saw flickering light through the leaves. Namjoon sticking close to my side following my body language until we stopped behind dense bushes. He could smell it, humans.

I nuzzled through leaves creating a secluded break to look at the cabin just ahead. I scooched over to let Namjoon see what I wanted him to see. He peered through the bushes taking in the welcoming looking cabin. Smoke rose from the chimney and copper light filtered out the frosting windows.

I stopped searching for familiarity when I caught Nana sitting on the worn couch knitting as per usual.

Namjoon glanced over to me and saw my eyes glimmering with something. His wolf wanted to whine, the vicarious pain and anxiety was tangible in his heart. He sat closer to me hoping that the physical contact would calm me down. When he made contact he felt me trembling, so he leaned down and peppered gentle nose kisses on the side of my face.

It was starting to click in his head, the way I was reacting so harshly to what I was showing him. This must’ve been the place I ran away from the night he found me. This was the place where I was betrayed by people I considered family. The ones who shot me. His eyes glazed over a sickly burgundy.

Our ears perked up towards the rumbling of tires over the gravel driveway. The dust cloud diluted the headlights as it skimmed over the foliage we were behind. We both ducked flat against the floor as the light passed over us holding our breaths unnecessarily. Namjoon’s foot came to rest over my back protectively keeping me as low as possible until it was safe again.

Nana shakily rose up from her chair when she heard the car pull up. Their son, the one I’ve only seen in pictures, stepped out of the car with his wife and child following. The rickety mesh security door creaked open as Nana was putting on her fading green shawl. The little girl darted out of her booster seat, with cookie crumbs falling off her shirt as she ran to the door yelling, “Grandma!”

Nana’s voice was just as sweet as I remembered, “Oh Pumpkin, how’ve you been? Boy, you’ve grown up so much!” She smooched her about a thousand times the little girl giggling and squealed in her arms.

Papa gurgled then spit the tobacco he’d been chewing, swallowing the excess saliva down his throat, old habits die hard, pulling up his already high waisted pants further up as he stepped outside. Watching the smile on his face hurt, he used to smile at me like that. It was like the bullet wound never sealed, as I felt a phantom ache in my thigh, but I remain still for Namjoon’s sake.

Grandma escorted her daughter in law and granddaughter inside. Nana looked at her daughter-in-law sympathetically at the chatterbox on their hands. Papa put a hand up stopping his son at the porch. The son leaned in giving his dad a hug with solid pats on the back, “Encounter any of them wolves out here Pops?”

Papa sighed, “No...son, let’s not talk—.”

His son chuckled bitterly pulling a pack of cigarettes out his shirt pocket, sticking one in his mouth but took it out resting between his fingers to speak, “Out in the city it’s been busy with all the ruckus with them damn canines and their heathen ministry and what not. Politics my ass, those damn wolves are just delaying the right to our land. Same old bullshit Dad, nothing’s changed. One day…one day I swear I’m going to wipe them all out.”

Something crosses over Papa’s eyes that I’ve never seen before disgust, shame, sympathy…maybe? He took the cigarette from his son hand and cracked it in half, “Don’t smoke when you have the kid inside.”

Namjoon was tense and tight as his arm still draped over me, the alpha felt challenged by that scumbag…but he knew better. Think before you act. His thoughts were distracted at the creaking sound of the door opening again, “Bill, Jared, come inside, it’s too cold to be out tonight.” Their son stepped up to his dad with a smirk on his face, throwing an arm over his dad’s shoulder as they went inside.

Nana stood outside the door pulling her shawl further up around her shoulders, her eyes searched the perimeter…as if she’s searching for something. For someone. When she came up empty she sighed heavily mouthed something without voice and turned back around to go inside, the door bouncing on its hinges a few times before it shut.

Inside the sound of childish laughter echoed out through the windows. The amount of body heat inside frosted the windows up almost completely. Namjoon watched on as the little girl sat on her grandfather’s lap while they talked to eachother fondly.

I nudged Namjoon, dropping his arm from my back and my tail wisped around him like a feather as I begin my slow trek back to the pack house. It was time to go home.

The trees thinned out as we approached our territory, but I took a detour from the house. I didn’t want to go back just yet. Namjoon didn’t question it instead following along quietly. I followed the sound of running water until we reached the small river. The transition of earth went from solid to baby soft sand as my paws sunk in the closer I got to the water. The crickets were loud here, but the air was fresh and I felt like I could breathe again. The sound of water was calming as much as it was to look at the clear emerald view. I sat down at the shoreline staring into the water, the colorful fish swirling like watercolor marbling. However, I ignored the life and stared at the reflection of the moon. I didn’t realize how much I missed Nana...how terrifying it was being on guard everyday living there. The words of their son, Jared, echoing in my mind, “One day I swear I’m wiping them all out.” I wanted to protect Namjoon from them, but he had to know. I had to show him. It’s easy to forget the hate of the world when I was surrounded by people who loved me.

Namjoon sat next to me and we sat in silence except for the undertones of our pants still catching our breath from the miles of trails. He could feel the weight of my burdens floating in the air.

Namjoon’s ears perked up when something small caught his eyes. He stepped closer to the little critter, his tail wags happily behind him as he found a crab. I watched him as he carefully approached. The little brown crab with white spots stopped in its track, both claws raised in the air at him as if shouting “on guard!” It eye stalks were narrowly pointed towards him, but Joon was patient with it showing it he meant no harm.

Namjoon slowly inched forward, the crab was like a statue on its rock. I swear it was as if Namjoon was whispering to it on some telepathic level as it lowered it claws in some sort of understanding. Slowly Namjoon dipped his snout and booped the crabs shell in a gentle greeting. When he pulled back and the crab was still there Namjoon bounced up proudly, his tail wagging happily that the crab didn’t resist and accepted him. He jumped around, flicking up dirt on every spring, like a puppy. He bowed back to the crab, hunching down his muzzle flat on the floor to speak to the little guy again.

I huffed laughter as I watch the interaction between the two. Namjoon looked over to me calling me over with small whines. I shaked my head, I was more than fine where I was, but he continued to stare at me with pleading eyes. I slowly stepped closer, afraid to scare off his newest friend, and laid flat on my stomach next to him. The little crab clapped his claws, but someone Namjoon assured the little guy I was a friend. His little eye stalks shifting between the two of us. Namjoon pointed his snout towards the crab, wanting me to mimic him earlier greeting. Hesitantly I leaned forward trusting Namjoon and booped our newest friend with my nose as well. His claws tap at my snout and I pulled back looking at Namjoon smiling my tail wagging behind me that it actually worked. The little guy cracked his claws before diving back into the water and into his hole.

Namjoon fully laid down on the sand with a huff, tail still wagging happily as he watched his friend. If wolves could smile, he’d be grinning like a fool.

I loved that Namjoon always cherished the little things, he never took anything for granted. Past the connection of us being mates, I knew that he was someone I’ve grown to…love. I felt the innate need to cuddle into him, lick him clean, and make him feel just as safe as he made me; so for once, I gave in to my selfish desires. I army crawled over to the furry Olympus mountain fitting perfectly into his side. I checked Namjoon’s body language, but he was complacent with his tail resting between his legs. I began licking at his pelt around his ear, then jaw, and around his temple. The gentle giant rumbled contently allowing me to spoil him.

He yawned, settling down further into the cool, damp soil to fall asleep, however, I knew if we fell asleep here we’d both regret it, more so because he had to go back to the Ministry to work. I nudged him awake and jutted my head back to the pack house. He stretched before following me back to the edge of the forest.

I fished out my clothing and hid behind a tree before shifting back into my human form. I threw on my clothes haphazardly, but I waited for an okay signal from Namjoon indicating he’s changed as well.

“Aure?” He called out in a loud whisper.

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, cold fingers trembling. Namjoon hadn’t pushed me to reveal more, but I pulled of the band-aid halfway already, I was already putting off enough by taking that detour. I needed to yank the band-aid off completely to rid myself of the guilt and bear my truth.

I stepped from behind the tree stepping towards him with my head down to keep the burning acid down. Namjoon walked up to me and cupped my cheek, his eyes filled with worry at my sudden timid nature, his large warm hands nearly engulfing my face fully. I hummed and lean into his touch.

He started first, “Was that—that was the place you ran away from, right?”

I nodded into his hand, “I lived there for a few years. Those old people took care of me…until…they found out what I was.”

His eyes flickered bouts of ambivalence red, but never shifting his gaze from me. The earlier words echoing in his ears, the angry simmering in his stomach.

I looked away, I had to, his eyes were searching for something that made me feel too raw. “I-I didn’t live there. They aren’t or weren’t my family…my real family. Who I am…” I bit my lip, feeling tears brim in my eyes. I wasn’t this scared of uncertainty when I turned and ran for my life as I knew Hunters were after me, or when I turned around and I knew a gun was pointed square blank at me.

Namjoon embraced me tightly cutting off my wild thoughts as he cupped my head and my waist. Although, internally he was just as on edge and nervous. This question wasn’t the first time its been asked, who was the one he called his mate?

“Namjoon, my name isn’t Aure. It’s a nickname my father gave me. My father…my family…they’re all gone. I’m the only one left.” I swallowed pushing away from him as I squared back my shoulders to look him in his swirling burgundy eyes. “My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I’m the daughter of the late Secretary of Ministry of Canidae.”

The world stilled, not even the crickets chirped. Namjoon’s head was hanging low, eyes wide as he heard...the truth? No, this couldn’t be true. Aure…no Y/N is the daughter of his father’s late secretary. The Y/L/N family who disappeared all those years ago. She was alive?

Namjoon lifted his head, eyes glowing but unfocused. I stepped back, truly afraid of those eyes for the first time. I clutched at my chest attempting to protect myself in some way. “Namjoon, please, say something.”

He was truly in shock. It was always a burden lingering over the Kim family, a burden his father passed down to him to figure out what happened to the Y/L/N’s. All the suppressed emotions he’s held in from the taunting from the meetings, the blatant moves they make to stir him up and the sadness. It was boiling over. He panted heavily, seething through his teeth he had to know, “What happened to you...them? Why are you the only one?”

The tears were blurring my vision, “they—,” I swallowed the name instilling the beginnings of a panic attack, “the Hunters.” I didn’t need to continue or elaborate he knew what I meant; every wolf knew what happened when a Hunter would get a hold of one of our kind.

It flooded back to him, the night he sat at the table with Mama Luna and his father. His grandmother’s words rang in his ear as the memory took life, “Her scars run deep. Her back, neck to behind is covered with scars from burns…it won’t be easy love. We don’t know how deep they go, but you’re going to have to help her mend it somehow…next to the bullet wound, I couldn’t make it out well, but I’m sure there’s an engraved H.”

He remembered the jolt up his spine at even just the implication of the branding of those savages. His wolf squirming along with him. He echoed the past, “You mean the mark of the hunters?” The scars, patchy fur from the burns, even the branding on Aure’s leg he’s seen it but never focused on it. How come he didn’t see it—this—her sooner?

A growl rumbled through the forest, something deadly viscous that I’ve never imagined could’ve come from Namjoon. His fangs, the length and girth of them, that were reserved for his wolf grew past his lips. Trails of blood from the sudden growth cutting his lip trickled down his chin and dripped onto the dry ground. The darkness was casting a silhouette over him, no longer was the gentle giant before me, he was replaced with a seething beast. His aura was tangible, seeping like boiling tar on a hot summers day; the alpha wolf within him begging for release. For revenge.

Although on hierarchy we were the same, alpha, but the wolf within me wanted to roll over and submit, but I stayed glued in my spot. I began panting, my ears ringing, as another sick rumble pulled his lips back. This…this was exactly my biggest fear…rejection.

He was so upset, how dare those Hunters do that to Aure, his mate, his mate’s family! How dare they tear a part his kind, mess with his pack and act like nothing! How dare they! He rolled his head back and howled anger, let even the Sun hear him. As he lowered his head back down the biting cold of night shifted him into a dragon, steam escaping his gaping mouth and nostrils expelling the internal hysteria. He wanted to tear into those men and women that caused all this pain. Tears streamed down his cheeks in thick globs of saline mixing in with the blood, the scars Aure had, physically and mentally he could never truly fathom.

They had to pay.

I backed away, dead leaves and twigs crunched under my bare feet. I could only focus on the dark energy rippling from him, I could feel it as my hands trembled from the emotion. He was angry at me because I lied, I kept a huge secret from him and this was the price to pay. I knew this was a bad idea, the idea of a being a part of a pack was silly…I should have known better—I should have known better that once I revealed myself I wouldn’t be accepted.

I’m the moon that never knows when to rest. Blatantly reflecting in the day, sharing a sky I didn’t deserve, not knowing when it’s my time to fade.

What did I expect, I’m too dangerous, I’m no good.

I stepped back stumbling over my shuffling feet, the broken twigs and crushed leaves were sharp on the flesh of my palm. I scrambled up before I turned around and ran. The tears stung, blurring my vision, but I continued to run as fast as my feet could carry me. I opened my mouth to sob, my throat tight from holding back a sob, but the crisp air burnt my throat. I kept my mouth shut.

The spell broke when his wolf howled in distress, but it was because of my wolf crying out to his. His teeth retracted, eyes oxidizing back to its comforting brown. Namjoon called out, “Aure!” When I don’t turn around he called on stronger, using his Alpha prowess, ”Aure! Aure! Come back!” It didn’t work I keep running. His voice weakened when he realized I didn’t intend on coming back to him,” A-Aure.” Panic set in, he knew he messed up, messed up big time. He shouldn’t have gotten angry or let his emotions get the best of him. He shouldn’t have acted out when I was in such a vulnerable state.

I knew my human pace could only get me so far, my callus we’re building back up as my feet pounded against the uneven soil. I grew impatient with my limitations and began shifting, but it didn’t slow me down. I wailed that turned into a slurred groan, it was painful shifting with clothing on and running; it put pressure on joints that were manipulating and bones that were extending. The pain was over in a blink of an eye when all my four paws hit the ground, my clothing hung in odd clumps of fringes around my wolf form concealing the patches of missing fur…my scars. I picked up pace into a full-blown sprint, the forest around me blurring, Namjoon’s calling out to me was muffled.

My pace was clumsy as branches were scratching against me, thorns snagging in my pelt, but I kept running forward. I had to get away, run away.

My wolf was chaotically roaring at me, her instincts were telling me that he was getting close, but not close enough, I had to keep going.

I didn’t realize how far I got until I was running along the stream that turned into a rapid river. The thrashing white water crashed against the darkened rocks jutting out the water. I ran through trees, my paws shifting from packed soil to softened sand as the river came to a sudden bend. I couldn’t stop, my momentum was too great, and I dived into the water submerging myself into it full body. The cold sting of the freezing water was worse than the pins and needles of the trees. The current was strong and unforgiving pulling me under its clutches, dragging me to its darkest depths. I couldn’t see as the waves tosses me around like a pathetic piece of clothing in the wash machine. I pushed up, padding my way to the surface but another wave drug me under and then up again teasingly. I tried paddling up again, I didn’t want to die there, but it was getting harder to fight. My throat was closing up, I was holding onto something I wasn’t sure I had. The last bits of oxygen my blood was hanging onto for mercy. It was so dark, the fleeting bits of sky I saw above offered no end.

Over the roaring water, I heard a faint voice in the back of my mind, “It’s going to be okay, just relax.” I wanted to listen, I felt the need to listen, her voice felt comforting and familiar. I relaxed my body and let the current take control.

Soon I thudded against an algae covered boulder, the bubbles of oxygen I was saving escaped my muzzle at the harsh impact. I used the solid ground where the algae didn’t grow to scratch onto and find a grip. I swam and climbed upwards finding a break in the current. I had to keep going, even though my muscles and lungs were burning. I kept moving until I hit solid land and crawled onto shore. I laid there panting, regaining my breath. The world was so quiet, it was as if the river and the wind calmed. I whined feeling heavy, unwilling to move. As twisted as it was I was already missing Namjoon, but I couldn’t forget the anger on his face. Anger towards me, towards who I am.

I heard crunching of leaves just a few feet away breaking my lucid pants. I held my exhausted breath hoping whatever it was didn’t see me. Lucky wasn’t on my side. The river water cleared my senses and I smelled them before they reached me: tobacco and iron. Combat boots stomped on the soft soil, “Well, well, well, look what we have ‘ere? If it isn’t a lost pup isn’t it.” The masculine voice was menacing, no trace of sympathy or concern.

My vision was still faulty, but I flipped over trying to find my footing. My wet, tattered clothes weighed me down as I propped myself up on my wobbly arms, growling at the stranger my with gums exposed. I knew whoever this was wasn’t a good person. “Ho’, Ho’ aren’t you a snappy one! I like that.”

He took a step closer smiling from ear to ear and I pulled my lips back further, my voice dipping deeper. The man ignored my warnings and kept approaching me, “Play nice now.”

“Your choice,” he pulled out a hunter’s knife from his pocket and I finally looked when the reflection of the moon bounced off the knife at his face, fully looking at the stranger. It was Papa’s son Jared. The sickening disgust boiled in my stomach, my adrenaline renewed like I took a shot of epinephrine to the heart.

I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt me again.

He lunged for me and I snapped back. He grabbed onto my fur and brought around his knife in a swing attempting to jam it in my neck. I opened my mouth wide taking advantage of his unilateral advantage and engulfed his wrist sinking my teeth in. He screamed and punched at my head right by my eye, the neck punching landing directly on it. I whimpered releasing his hand, backed away off him. I couldn’t open my eye well, but he stood up gripping on his hand, “you son of a bitch!” I circled around him the water slowing down our pace, but I never shifted my view. I looked for an opening to run through the forest and forget this all. He switched the blade to his good hand and roared lunging for me again. Water flew in the air as it crashed on the boulder, as well as fringes of my clothing, fur and flesh. It all happened so fast, I was sure I had the upper hand again, but my adrenaline was running on its last fuse. With a last snarl I lunged for flesh, but he slashed the knife right across my chest. I howled as I stumbled backwards sloshing in the shore, but I still tried to make way to the forest. I needed to get away.

He picked me up by the spine, his bloody hand staining my fur, stumbling on his feet bringing me above his head. Water from my pelt was trickling down, I tried wiggling, but I couldn’t move more than that. He pulled back and threw me. I felt the zero-gravity effect for what felt like a minute, but it was only a second before my body slammed against the boulder that saved me.

Everything went black.

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a-patheticapathetic · 6 years ago

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Glass Animals - How To Be A Human Being: Review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lUfunQW84U&list=PLQReQsnItdzYQzuK2yD7ipXIT9ce9WAWA

I’ve been listening to this album for a few months now and I think I can call it one of my current favorites. I don’t know anything else that’s quite like it. The sound, the variety, and the story make it completely unique. Plus the lyrics deal with some refreshingly dark subjects in a way that feels respectful. Each character on the intentionally cheesy album cover is tied directly to a song on the record and that idea is so good I can’t believe I haven’t seen it done anywhere else.

I’ve done a couple of track-by-track reviews before, but I want to try something different. I’m going to start the album, and write about each song as they play. I don’t if I’m going to try to keep it relatively formal or fall into a less coherent stream-of-consciousness kind of writing. If you want to listen to the album along with me, there’s no real way to synchronize. If there’s something I want to point out, I’ll try to guess early. After the album I’ll give number ratings to each song.

Ok, here we go.

Life Itself - 8/10

The strange noises we start with here make a really interesting transition into the percussion intro. The vocals instantly draw you in. The pre-chorus here is one of my favorite moments on the album. Such a good melody, and transition into the hook. Sounds nice but the lyrics aren’t up to the standard of everything else. The positive sounds combined with the desperate lyrics really stand out. The scale of the song really opens up during the hooks. More interesting noises in the break, building back up into the last chorus. A sweeping chord progression, feels like it’s rising. The synth solo again, and drop to near silence. This song really establishes the feel of the album effectively.

Youth - 6/10

This one has never been my favorite. It’s too poppy for me. Again, the pre-chorus knocks it out of the park. Great vocal performance. Honestly a lot of my problem with this song comes from the word “dappy”. Silly UK slang like that kinda takes away from the more serious theme of the rest of the lyrics. Even still, the emotion in the song can’t be overlooked. It really feels like one of the most hopeful tracks here. I feel like it would have been better if it ended during that bridge, instead of jumping back in. Another chorus wasn’t entirely necessary.

Season 2 Episode 3 - 8/10

One of the centerpieces of the album. Iconic and unique. The breathy intro doesn’t give any warning to the 8-bit sound effects that follow. The lyrics here are so hopeless and the instrumental just doesn’t care, I love it. The pre-chorus again is amazing. The chorus hits you at full force, much deeper sonically than the intro was. Then back into the lazy verse. Is it about her, or about microwaving french fries? The second pre-chorus evolves and seamlessly transitions. Interesting mix-up after. Coast out on the intro.

Pork Soda - 8/10

Intended to sound like it was being played on the streets. Really punches you when the percussion comes in. Darker vocal performance for the first verse. Pineapple chorus, then a strange verse. Laced with effective cursing, first swearing we’ve heard so far. Stop. Hook vocals are back, mixed with the verse. The song starts to build really effectively here. Strange verse 2, but this time completely clean. Even more buildup and release. After, the slowdown. Back to the streets, leaving the bassline alone.

Mama’s Gun - 5/10

Immediately, a completely different sound. Quiet, woodwind focus, with background humming. A sense of paranoia in the vocals and lyrics. Instead of a hook we get a deeper instrumental. Next verse, another layered voice. Starts to drag a bit, but then the real chorus. Marching slow drum, then the instrumental again. Near silence, sounds like owls used as instrumentation. Odd, fantasy-like backing vocals. Buildup, and finally the song gets to the point. Is that a guitar?

Cane Suga - 6/10

Strong melody to start off. Back to electronic noises. Ethereal vocals, sounds like they come from a long ways away. Then some kind of rapping, almost. A steady stream of not quite decipherable syllables, pitch shifted. Small pause, back to the distant hazy verse. The buildup begins. Results in a very satisfying drop into the ending.

[Premade Sandwiches] / The Other Side Of Paradise - 7/10

Honestly, just listen to this first one.

[PS] has always seemed like the intro to Paradise for me. The song proper starts with some on/off instrumentation, drops us dead into the verse. Much more subdued and consistent. Great vocal melodies during the verses here. Back to the intro instrumentation for the hook. High-pitched, tinny guitar work. A worrying transition into verse 2. Haunting background vocals here change the feel from the last verse. Small buildup into the bridge. Chilling crooning. This is one of the best moments on the album. The tension rises immensely. Precision f-bomb strike has a massive impact. The spiral is cut off by the hook before it can lead to insanity. Are they saying “go” over and over again?

Take A Slice - 9/10

The song that got me here in the first place. Lazy intro gets snipped off by some threatening percussion and a dark melody. The vocals fill you entire head. They have an air of imminent violence. And then....

Titanic percussion kicks you in the goddamn throat. The chorus hits with the force of a freight train. Horns and strings, distorted. Then, drop back into the verse. Don’t get comfortable. Even louder, now. Sleaze incarnate. The chorus again, and a guitar fed through a unspeakable amount of filters. The repeating note in the background gets higher and higher until it drops from under your feet. Spend the aftermath in free-fall.

Poplar St - 7/10

No, it isn’t RHCP. The cleanest guitar we’ve heard so far. A great vocal melody. More guitar gets added as the chorus begins. Next verse switches up the arpeggios to a quieter tone. Ends on a worrying note. Chorus really opens up now, before dropping it all for a whispered bridge. Haunting backing vocals. One more chorus, the song uses everything it has left. The outro is spent of energy, only here to finish the story. I don’t love you anymore, and ceased to be.

Agnes - 7/10

For the finale, the happiest instrumental and the saddest lyrics on the album. Sounds like it’s gonna be a pop song. Vocals sound the part, but listen to the words. And so it goes. The chorus humming here would be happy if you isolated it. Where went that cheeky friend of mine, where went that billion-dollar smile. The true nature of the hook, and ride it out.

Definitely ended up being more stream-of-consciousness. Oh well.

I can do numeric song ratings but I can’t bring myself to give an album an x/10. So on a scale of “My body’s looking wrong” to “I feel fantastic”, How To Be A Human Being gets a “Sometimes it makes me laugh, sometimes it makes me sad”.

#music #how to be a human being #glass animals #review #track review #music reccs #album review

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renxamamiya · 6 years ago

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Skullgirls?

Ah yes, the good shit

The Lives We Left Behind - When I first got the game back when it was before the Story Mode was properly released I was messing around a lot with the game and heard this and just... fell in love with it. I adore the shit out of it and sometimes I find myself humming/listening to the song every now and then. I even love the stage it’s played on it’s so nice.

Where Money Flows like Water - Another great theme on a great stage. I especially love the little bubbling-like sounds played throughout the music as well.

The Lives We Tried To Reclaim - I’m a sucker for angst.

Learning One's Craft - I love this training theme a lot. It’s a theme that you can listen to for hours while learning/practising the game. It’s not as grand as the other themes but still keeps an energetic theme. It feels more like a jog than a sprint you feel me? Also them rising tones man.

An Oasis in Time - A slow starting theme (in which they had to cut most of the intro lol), still good though. I also adore the sound of the Hammered dulcimer/Khim(?) playing throughout the song like damn.

Send me a videogame in my askbox and I will tell you my top 5 songs from it

#Anonymous #ask dan

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thepolyorchids · 6 years ago

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A bit about each song on The Polyorchids LP

Track 1 of 10: The Lark

This was the first Polyorchids song that didn’t exist prior to the band’s formation. It was sort of an experiment in a different writing style. The first Courtney Barnett album had just come out and I loved the way she wrote these songs made up of super specific and sometimes mundane lyrics that, when added up, made you feel something. Tony’s naturally great at getting specific like that, but I tend to retreat into my own mind and write from that space. I used a simple a two-chord progression I’d been sitting on for years and wrote a blow-by-blow telling of a drive out to a gig Travis, Tony and I played in Willits a few weeks prior. The hills of Lake County had just been burned by a huge fire. On the trip, we met a bunch of nice seasonal weed-trimming folk (plenty of them white dudes w/ dreads, hence the chorus, which was originally just a placeholder but ultimately stuck) and we crashed at a shitbox motel called The Lark. I liked a Joyce Manor song called “Midnight Service at the Mutter Museum” which had a quiet-verse/loud-chorus structure to it. I brought it to the band with that in mind, but couldn’t get Travis to soften the his floor tom hits, only to find that the thumping beat actually made for a better song. From there it found its groove. — Justin

Track 2 of 10: Predisposed

Most of the lyrics and melodies for “Predisposed” were written in 2011. I think for most songwriters it’s easier to say something in a song than it is to say it in real life. This song was written directly to my friend (and sister from another mister) Nicole Putnam. She was and has always been someone that had my back no matter what, no questions asked. This song turned out to be a (WELL-deserved) explanation/Thank You (even though she never asked for either) for all the times in that year she was there for me when I felt like I had no one. It started as an acoustic song (like most Polyorchids songs), I absolutely forgot I EVEN WROTE IT! For me writing becomes sometimes like therapy, so once I finish... I feel better and feel like I can move on a bit. I found and old iPhone in October of 2017. When I checked out the voice memos, this bad boy was on it. It wasn’t totally complete but Justy, Trav and I worked it to be a full band song and it made it to our album. This is also the first time in The Polyorchids history that I sing my own song on the record. — Tony

Track 3 of 10: Dumpster Heap

I wrote the melody for this a few years ago on a miniature kids’ guitar I was fooling around with, but I spent more than a year just humming gibberish to it. Tony and I have had tons of conversations about our feelings about talking politics on social media. On one hand, it’s a cesspool of garbage that brings out the worst in people and diving into it accomplishes essentially nothing, but on the other hand, it’s where we do 90% of our communicating at this point. If we don’t talk about this stuff online, we’re sort of making the decision to not talk about it at all, which isn’t good either. I’ve typed out full responses to Facebook comments only to delete them before posting so as to avoid surrendering my day to a shit show of notifications. This song is about that internal conversation. I wrote a second verse for this after the “grab her by the…” tape came out, but decided it made an evergreen idea too specific. A few months later I started writing ’45’ and realized this 30-second song could exist with just one verse that feeds right into that one. — Justin

Track 4 of 10: 45

The sort of bizarre post-election vibe had given way to the inauguration and now this guy was slapping his Sharpie signature on like five executive orders per day and arguing about crowd sizes. A parade of idiots were marching through Charlottesville with tiki-torches the day I started writing it. I can’t really pull off overtly political lyrics because they feel corny to me about one hour after I write them, but it seemed like a joke that this dude was running things and I felt like trying capture that in some way, because it was inescapable. Jeff Rosenstock’s WORRY had come out a few months earlier and knocked me out. A fast/crazy deep-cut called "Bang on the Door” was my favorite track and I pretty much wanted to jack it and make it my own. The chords and melody for 45 are totally different from that song, but you can tell they’re sort of distant cousins. I only had one verse written, but I showed it to Trav and Tony at the very end of a practice and the “Side! Eyed! Glances!…” intro was so glorious and punchy with the full band. Some songs take work to find their groove. This one was a natural fit right off the bat and we got excited about it. I wrote a second verse and we started playing it at shows. I finished the third verse the night before recording with Pat and our friends Mike and Jake came in to sing gang vocals on the outro. — Justin

Track 5 of 10: Skeletons

Tony wrote this one a few years ago and lost the demo on an old phone (that’s his move) until just a few months before we recorded the album. I’d never heard it prior to that, but I instantly became obsessed with it, even more so than Tony I think. I told him as much, and I even played it a few times at open mics by myself. The song is really just one verse and one chorus… or a looping chorus with one bridge — however you want to put it. I added the guitar riff, which mirrors the melody but gives it something new, and pitched the idea of having Tony and I alternate singing with a louder, shared verse at the end. This is the only time we’ve ever structured a song that way. We recorded this two days before I moved out of California and we had absolutely no time to practice it with Travis. We tracked our instruments to a click track (unlike most Polyorchids songs, which we record live as a full band) and let Pat at Earth Tone play the percussion after the fact — also something we’d never done before. — Justin

Track 6 of 10: Down in the Desert

This song was written after a trip to Arizona for my uncle Jeff’s funeral. My brother and I grew up with our uncle around a ton, bringing us those little popper/snappers and just generally being the best. As we grew older, we came to realize how truly bizarre and fucking hilarious this person was. Eccentric and witty to his absolute core. He joined the Army out of high school and was stationed in Germany, which I think clouds this song in a bit of confusion because “shipped out to Germany…” really sounds like WWII, but it was actually decades later during a peace-time in Germany. My uncle enjoyed room-temperature tall cans of beer — a taste he said he developed during those years in Germany. After the Army, he got into theater and ultimately became a union-carded makeup artist in Hollywood, working on stuff like the sitcom Major Dad and a TV adaptation of the movie Weird Science among many other projects. Before the funeral, my dad received a letter from one of Jeff’s old makeup artist friends/colleagues. He read that full letter at the funeral and it was just about the most real and beautiful thing I’ve heard in my whole life... Just a human being remembering another human being through the specific memories they shared — the kinds of specifics that send you inward to think about your own memories. I cried hard and felt extremely happy at the same time.

The whole extended family stayed at a desert motel that night and passed a couple of tall cans around in a circle and took turns sharing stories. I liked the idea of letting that evening with family be the chorus and Jeff’s life be the verses, so that’s the basic structure of the song. I started the first couple of lines during that road trip to the desert, but the rest came one line at a time over like a half a year. I never hit a wall, but I never hit a groove either. It was a challenge to write, and yet I felt strongly about seeing it through. It wasn’t until I played an almost-finished version for Tony that it became a potential Polyorchids song at his insistence. I played it once at an open mic but the first time we played it live as a band was at Danny Secretion’s Fuck Cancer benefit almost exactly a year later. — Justin

Track 7 of 10: Back off, Warchild

I started this as a sparse and mellow folk song on acoustic guitar, but abandoned it after about a month of frustration over the lyrics. It started as a sort of abstract story about conflict and tension, but I had a hard time keeping it moving. I liked the first verse on its own but didn’t see a path forward. But then we tried it as a band right after the Popgun EP was done while floating some new song ideas. This came right after we’d found some momentum with The Lark, and I got excited about the dynamics of the full band banging it out. It added something new and took some pressure off the lyrics, which I still feel a bit lukewarm about to be totally honest. The binding theme of the song is frustration and tension and negativity. Verse one is childhood, verse two is early adulthood, and verse three is the old age and death. The chorus is sort of an anthemic reveling in that pessimism, which is no way to live but real nonetheless. The one lyric I really love is the chorus line: “...Not our tax brackets not the weather / could pull the graphite out of the letters...” The song title comes from a line in Point Break when Keanu is about to get in a fight at the beach. We spent our teens and 20s camping and boogie boarding at that beach (Leo Carrillo) and rinsing off in those same outdoor showers. — Justin

Track 8 of 10: Low Class Love Song

Low Class Love Song was started in October of 2017. It started out as a baseline I couldn't get outa my head (I'm not 100% sure but I feel like I might have stolen the chords from "runaround sue"). It ended up being a song about the feeling of dating above your class and knowing it's not gonna end well but pursuing it anyway because the pain of a broken heart is worth the experience of sharing some time with that person. Music really is cheaper than a therapist. — Tony

Track 9 of 10: Preachers in Private Jets

This song started as a jam session groove at a practice. Our old band wrote some songs that way, but The Polyorchids never really have. We loved playing it but didn’t know how to treat it because there was no chord progression, just this looping riff. Eventually we added a palm-muted version of the riff and I started yelling nonsense over that part sort of in the style of Fugazi’s Waiting Room. Around that time I saw a video of two televangelist preachers shooting this shit about why God is very pumped about them being super rich. More than half of the lines in this song are lifted almost directly from that YouTube clip. A week before recording, Hurricane Harvey hit Houston and Joel Osteen locked up his megachurch doors, keeping out the affected. That last verse was finished right before recording. The chorus chords were written separately by Tony for a different song, but we were elated to find that they fit right into this one and added a nice melodic part that contrasted the verses and the riff. We took a long time to start playing it live, but Jake from Pisscat nudged us to play it every night of a tour we did together around Lake Tahoe. Pisscat pal Becky wrote it on a set list as Pee Pee Jay one time and I regret not calling it that. From there it felt complete. — Justin

Track 10 of 10: Readiness for Radio

After a life spent not caring either way about Bruce Springsteen, I found my way to his Nebraska album and loved it like many before me. I did the obligatory deep-dive into its origin story: DIY four-track demos that he’d recorded in his basement with plans of doing a proper full-band studio album, only to release the raw demos instead because they served the songs better. I liked the idea of writing something that referenced the themes of the album and its story without ever doing so explicitly. The result, I think, is one of those songs that lets the listener find their own meaning. It’s not an autobiographical song for me, and yet I identify with plenty of it personally. The main chords were adapted out of an old mewithoutyou song. I thought I’d spun them off to be totally unrecognizable, but my brother’s wife Veronica spotted it like four years after I wrote it! If you listen to that band, let me know if you can spot it. I recorded it live in the big drum room at Earth Tone, soaking it in open space and reverb. Pat left the loooong ringing sound of the final chord and then abruptly ended it when I slap the strings shut. I love those final seconds. — Justin

#the polyorchids #folk #punk #indie #earth tone #songwriting

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harryimaginedstories · 7 years ago

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Well, it’s that Time, isn’t it?

Hello. :) This is like a little intro into me trying to do blogmas this year... we’ll see how that one will turn out.

Description: A cold walk in festive London with an excited boyfriend does improve the grumpiest mood. Warnings: None. Picture actually was taken by me! I was lucky enough to be in London right after Christmas last year. x

Even with my body wrapped up in layers and layers of clothing as well as my boyfriend’s very warm arms, I was cold. Fucking freezing in fact. Every inch of my skin was covered in goosebumps and every limp of mine was shaking, making it difficult to stand straight or walk steady. Having Harry came in handy during times like this, since he did a good job at keeping me on my feet. With one hand he was holding on to mine tightly, using his strength to pull me down the cold streets of London, while his other hand pointed out every little decorative thing he found pretty. Which were a lot. It was adorable, really, how happy a 23 year old man could get only by looking at the many many lights that were illuminating the dark sky. Didn’t stop me from being slightly annoyed with him though.

“I’m telling you,” I groaned, head knocking into his shoulder forcefully, “I can’t feel my toes anymore. Can we please just go home now?”

A small groan fell from his lips, followed by a low laugh. He pulled me into his chest and when he leaned his head closer to mine, his breath was hot against my frozen skin. Momentarily my heart squeezed itself almost painfully. His lips ghosted over my cheek.

“Don’t you just love it?” Harry purred, voice as sweet as honey and I shrugged him off with a huff. He knew this tone weakened my knees, was aware just how dizzy his kiss made me. Fucking bastard. If he thought he was going to get me that way he was mistaken.

“No,” I replied shakily, “I’m cold.”

My fingers were squeezed tightly. “Alright. There’s this one shop I want to go to and only one more street I know has beautiful decorations. Lots of lights that are forming mistletoes. I really want to see!”

I whined, meeting his excited face with my own exhausted expression. “Two things,” I said, holding up two fingers to emphasize my point, “online shopping and google. Would allow us to spend tonight in our very comfortable and above all warm home, instead of giving me a near death experience. You know, cause I might freeze?”

A low chuckle fell from his mouth and I whimpered when his arms squeezed me a little tighter. It wasn’t that I disliked what we were doing. Spending time with Harry was nice, of course it was, and I was thankful for the lack of attention we were receiving today. We’d been exploring festive London for two hours now, with nobody stopping and asking for pictures once. But there you had it: Two hours. How he wasn’t getting tired was beyond me. And since Harry wasn’t wearing much more than me, a jumper and a jacket (both thinner than mine, actually) and no scarf, I wondered how his hands were still warm against mine. He didn’t seem bothered by anything, not even my lack of understanding for his joy. I found myself smiling softly. He looked utterly adorable. His cheeks were painted with a pretty rosy colour and there was a sparkle in his eyes, giving him the happy expression a child would bear on Christmas morning. When his head rolled back and his face met the sky, he looked as if he expected the stars to rain down on him and by the smile on his mouth they might as well have done so without me seeing it.

I raised his hand so I could press a small kiss to his wrist. “You look really cute.”

My compliment surprised him and I stuck out my tongue at his smiling face. Harry laughed, loud enough for several people turning to look at us. I nudged his ribs.

Unfazed, Harry shrugged. “And all of a sudden you’re pretty nice again. Feeling the Christmas spirit after all, huh?”

“Well,” I sighed, letting go of his hand so I could instead wrap my arms around his waist and cuddle my body even further into his chest in search for any warmth I could get, “It’s that time of the year, isn’t it?”

“Hm,” Harry hummed, lips pressed against my temple in a sweet kiss, “And?”

Shrugging I nodded towards one of the Christmas trees somebody put up every couple of meters, earning a delighted sigh from Harry when he notice it, too.

“I love that you love it so much,” I said, giving in to his mood.

“That’s my girl!” Harry laughed and my cheeks burned with embarrassment when he went as far as jumping in excitement.

“Yeah, don’t push it.”

Harry sent me a grin. “M’just happy, sweetheart. Love this season quite a lot and I think it’s great that I get to spend it with my most favorite person. If you really are cold though, it would be alright with me if we skipped out on the shop. Can always go check it out when the sky isn’t dark and your nose isn’t blue.”

“Great!” I clapped my hands together and again some nosy people turned to look at what we were doing, “Can we skip out on that street you wanted to see, as well?”

“Not a chance.”

I know it’s short and small and maybe even a little unnecessary, but I kinda like it. Hope you did too and that you’ll enjoy the christmas themes stories I’ll try to come up with during December. x

Masterlist

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aja154ever · 7 years ago

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GRANRODEO LIVE 2017 G12 ROCK☆SHOW Pierrot Carnival - 09/23/2017

Set List

Pierrot Dancin’

恋は mirage

Punky Funky Love

Glorious days

Fake lover’s true heart

ナミダバナ

FAT SHAPER

チキン・ヒーロー

君に one way love

Can Do

move on! イバラミチ

Y.W.F.

エンドレスサマー

少年の果て

CRACK STAR FLASH

silence

カナリヤ

modern strange cowboy

We wanna R&R SHOW

Infinite Love

Go For It!

UNDER THE SKY

G12 AAAAAAHHHHHHH. It’s my first time to attend the G series. I was so excited as I saw this as a chance to hear more GR songs live outside the PieDan album, but somehow the set list turned out to be very similar to the PieDan tour. But it’s okay, I'm not really complaining. And I was just so happy to see that many people gather for the love of GRANRODEO. Long post under the cut!

Honestly, I didn’t think I can get all pumped up because I was far on the 2F and GR live shows are best enjoyed in small, intimate places like Zepp. But the seats actually gave me more space to move and groove, and the sight and energy of the people around me convinced me to be free and lose myself.

Pierrot Dancin’ - Okay I died from the acapella intro. That’s it. No words.

恋は mirage - Really good considering it’s the first (well second ‘cause it’s the second day) time Kiiyan sings this live

Glorious days - The bridge part. OMG what is it in Budokan’s sound system that makes Kiiyan’s voice sound so better argh. Anyway messed up lyrics in the last part, but then okay, it can pass as intended miss

チキン・ヒーロー - Uwaaaa. Who expected this?? I admit that I didn’t like this song compared to other GR songs but now hearing it live, just WOW. It’s impossible not to enjoy this.

君に one way love - OMG I didn’t expect this would make the list so I was just so feeling blissful waving my hands. Really one of my favorite GR songs. Got the lyrics wrong in the last part again and I shouldn’t be reporting about this anymore because that’s just normal for the lyrics writer himself, Kishow

move on! イバラミチ - My 3rd time to hear this live. So far, the best performance out of the three.

In Y.W.F.’s last “boku wa yoi ko”, e-zuka comes to pat Kiiyan on his head. SO PRECIOUS!!

エンドレスサマー - Best production performance for the night, with the dancers and effects *slow clap*

CRACK STAR FLASH - silence - カナリヤ - modern strange cowboy - We wanna R&R SHOW - Classic exhausting line-up. You’ll really know the difference when Kiiyan sings their older songs vs the latest ones. Well it’s basically the years of knowing those songs so he really performs them way better than the new ones. And this is coming from me who has heard him sing PieDan songs live for 3-5 times than classic songs I heard him sing once or twice.

ナミダバナ, silence, We wanna R&R SHOW - long stretch part (I still don’t know what to call it) but his voice, his skills, his everything, *me gets down on one knee, presents a small black box* Marry me, Kiiyan. Now.

Infinite Love - AAAAAHHHHH. This was the most unexpected song for me. I was so happy!! I got into tears as my heart overflowed of infinite love for GR.

Go For It! - My first time to participate in IGPX!!!

UNDER THE SKY - Kiiyan why did you have to end this happy night with a sad, slow song??? Argh. I wanted a third encore please.

MC and Other Points

I think there was little talk than in the PieDan live.

G12 was broadcasted live and e-zuka-san said that they were given a 4-hour time slot, so in the first MC part he joked, “From now, we’ll go talk for one hour!” Then in the IGPX part, he said that they’ll be doing it for 30 minutes!

Shin-kun didn’t use a mic at first. He went on to shout his greetings, “Konnichiwa!” Oh this kid is so adorable ^.^

Shin-kun’s parents came to watch him live.

When Takita-san turned the television on the night before, it was just in time for the broadcast of the PieDan live. Apparently, he fell asleep on the 月に抱かれて眠りたい part.

e-zuka-san shares that the music for BSD movie’s theme song is close to getting done. Kiiyan worried about writing the lyrics. e-zuka-san said that he was just lying; he’ll cut the encore short and make the song immediately!

e-zuka-san was so nervous as he was playing the piano in the We wanna R&R SHOW intro. Worse, he got distracted by Kiiyan’s sudden ‘insert hum’ that he thought he forgot the next notes. “Don’t go putting in fakes suddenly! You didn’t do that yesterday! My mind got lost!” He blamed Kiiyan for getting too hyped because of the live broadcast.

Kiiyan loved how the crowd called for encore too soon that they haven’t even gone down the stairs yet. He even imitated how the RB first shouted the GRAN part as he got amazed, “You can make such voice?” He was laughing because seriously, the GRAN shout sounded really crazy, in a good way. Thanks RB!

Kiiyan tried to throw his towel on the 1st floor seats but it failed to reach. Lol. He dramatically got down on his knees as the towel just fell on the ground. Ow cute Kiiyan, there, there. But yeah, that was such a waste :(

e-zuka-san played the fool in throwing his wristband to the crowd as it ‘accidentally’ fell behind him several times. Shin-kun ended up getting the wristband.

And lastly, the HUG awwwww T.T

Photos/Posts from Official Accounts:

More photos on GRANRODEO’s official Facebook page

What more can I say? This is my 6th GR event this year and probably the last? So there’s that loneliness in my heart as I cherished every G12 moment. G7 will be in Okinawa so I can’t go T.T I just have to haunt Kiiyan in other events then.

It just makes me reflect on how I got dragged into this paradise. I first learned about this Taniyama Kishou seiyuu when I first heard his singing voice in UtaPri. I was just starting to get into the seiyuu world at that time, and I didn’t really notice him as Natsuki. But when I heard his beautiful singing voice, I immediately searched about the seiyuu. I got to watch him on Maji Love Live (DVD) and I was convinced that this man has the best singing voice I’ve ever heard. I got into other seiyuu anyway, and it was months after again when I got to watch him perform as GRANRODEO’s Kishow in the KuroBas event (DVD). It was so lively and looked so fun, and there’s something about his performance that draws you in. I started learning the KuroBas songs. Yet I was still into other seiyuu at that time lol. Honestly, I admit that I’m not much of a fan of Kiiyan as a seiyuu. Simply because I like the others’ voice more and then there’s the fact that he doesn’t get to play major anime roles often.

But then, but then. OMG. I don’t why, how, what, but Bungou Stray Dogs came crashing into my life and I fell in love with the most vicious duo in Yokohama, Double Black. Let it be known that I actually decided to watch BSD because of the seiyuu in it but putting that aside, I then learned to love the story and the characters so much. But the Mamo-Kiiyan combi is just too much for me to take in esp after watching their Uemura tanteisha episode. And Nakahara Chuuya. *takes a deep breath* Of all the characters I’ve watched Kiiyan play, Chuuya came to be an easy favorite even if he only appeared in very few episodes. And I said I wasn’t into Kiiyan’s seiyuu voice but his Chuuya voice AAAAAHHHHH, which is actually close to his real voice AAAAAHHHHH

And while I was starting to drown in the BSD fandom, it was just in time for GRANRODEO’s new album release: Pierrot Dancin’. You know, I’m a poor being and I don’t really buy things for myself like goods, but I just really wanted to buy the new album because I wanted to support Kiiyan. And I’m glad I did.

Then the AniUta app got released and it was such a blessing because all GR songs were there so just in a few months, I learned most of their songs in their 12-year long career. Now I’m proud of myself. *wipes corner of my eyes*

Taniyama Kishou, as seiyuu and GR, has been saving me from my depression this year. Our love story sure took some time to develop, but now I just feel so much admiration, love, and gratitude towards this person. As sappy and crappy as it may sound, but Kiiyan became the most important person to me this year.

OMG this went on longer and more dramatic than expected but I just love Kiiyan, my Darlin, my BIG SUN. I’ll do my best to keep seeing you. Cheers to more years to spend together. ♪＼(*＾▽ ＾*)／＼(*＾▽ ＾*)／

#thank God #granrodeo #taniyama kishou #kishow #kiiyan #谷山紀章 #iizuka masaaki #e-zuka #飯塚昌明 #G12 #granrodeo live #nippon budokan #music #japan #seiyuu #precious smiles #my original content

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