#I just. locked myself in my room for three days and I couldn't think about anything else | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aniesvision · 3 months ago

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𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

𐂃 𝚎𝚡! 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚞��𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚘 𝚡 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒖𝒑, 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚, 𝒑𝒆𝒕 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 (𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚), 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈

𝚊/𝚗: 𝒉𝒆𝒚! 𝒊 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒅, 𝒊 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚'𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌! 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓: 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆, 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 ☕︎

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

I take a deep breath, peeking through the curtains to see the place completely crowded with people. It was the last show from my tour, yet it didn't make it any easier to go up there and perform. I was supposed to sing two unreleased songs tonight, both of them being clear vents about my last relationship.

My dating life is not something I usually post about, but it's definitely one thing I can't hide from everyone considering I'm a public person now. The fans, paparazzi, and even sometimes cute little dates where I find myself posting to celebrate, just wanting to share with my social media things about my personal life like a normal person.

Me and Matt met a year ago, immediately getting along and going out a few times with mutual friends. Although we were both a little bit shy, the social skills coming from being "famous" people made it easier for us to decide to go on a date. Not exactly a date, but just a day together, just the two of us, in my apartment. We couldn't risk being seen alone now that we were starting to know each other, scared of people's reactions if they found out.

Two months later, we were officially dating, the only ones to know besides us were our close friends and family. We couldn't hide it for long tho, a few fans already picking up the news just by watching how we treated each other.

Matt and I made a deal not to post about our relationship unless it was an important date, but we did break that deal by posting some pictures of us now and then. Some people loved to see us together, shipping us, making cute edit videos, and posting about how they liked to see us together. Others not so much, but that's part of what we go through every day.

Being a singer was something I had always dreamed of. I posted lots of covers all over social media for years before finally getting acknowledged by one big artist. It helped me grow and go viral a few times, and I took that as my chance, posting a song I wrote and produced myself.

And now, two years later, I'm about to go on my first tour, with three albums posted and almost all tickets sold. It was such a scary yet exciting accomplishment to me, and all I wanted to do as soon as I hung up the phone with my assistant telling me about the road trip I was going on tomorrow for a tour was to go to my boyfriend's house and celebrate with him.

Unfortunately, I knew something was up as soon as my eyes met Matt's, and he guided me through the well-known hallway to his room. He locked the door behind him and scratched the back of his neck with one hand. He was nervous.

-We need to break up.

My eyes widen and immediately fill with tears, my eyebrows frowning, and my hands starting to sweat.

-What?

He sat next to me on his bed, looking at me with guilt as he confirmed his last words.

-I'm so sorry, but I just don't think we can be together anymore.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Getting on stage for the last time after singing my songs, cheering with the crowd, even knowing I was broken inside, was harsh. Especially because me and Matt hadn't shared about our break up, people still think we're together, and I'm about to break the news for the first time publically. Sort of.

I haven't talked or had any type of contact with Matt for the last month. After I left his house that day, the only person I talked to was my assistant and she thought it was better for me to keep things hidden for now. It was not time for a breakup story or for me to be sad, I needed to be happy and ready to perform, but as much as I loved to just forget about everything, I couldn't.

I spent all the days on the bus crying myself to sleep, my assistant staying up with me and bringing in the idea of writing down my feelings. The words turned into lyrics, and eventually, I had two songs ready to go out.

Me and my team decided it'd be a good idea to sing them on my last show, ending my tour with my entire heart. I take deep breaths before walking to the middle of the stage, all the cheering and clapping filling the room. I adjust my posture and raise the mic close to my mouth.

-Hello everyone! I'm so thankful for all the support. There's so much I want to say, but even if I spend the whole night here talking, I can't thank you all enough. -I smile, my eyes scanning all the people in front of me.

-I've been going through a lot recently, so much going on in my personal life, the tour, and social media. I try to share a little bit of me through every song I write, and tonight I want to share how I've been by singing two unreleased songs I wrote during the tour. I hope y'all like it. Thank you so much, I love y'all!

Someone brings me a chair and I close my eyes, the instrumental starting to echo along the stadium. I tried my best to focus on the lyrics, my feelings were exposed to the crowd with the first song.

It was clearly about Matt, even though I don't mention his name, I share memories of us that are everywhere on social media. The first part is about how we met, how he made me laugh, how he always knew what to say to make my days better. The second part was about the ending, how I was so excited for something new, something I wanted all my life, and he destroyed the magic of it by breaking my heart.

It was made out of anger, disappointment, sadness, regret, and all the denial I felt at first. It was my way of showing him how much it ruined my mental health.

All the clapping made me open my eyes, I kept them closed until the song was over, and just now, I realized I was crying. Without having much time to process things, the second song comes in, and the melody is nothing like the last one. It was happier, more like a pop song.

The lyrics were so different from the first one. It was like an open letter to him, saying how much I enjoyed our time together, and how I knew that I needed to move on. This one was my acceptance of the breakup, one I wrote with a smile, remembering what we've been through and thanking him for showing me how much I was able to feel for someone.

It was obvious now that I was talking about Matt if it wasn't before. And for the first time, I made it clear that I was going through a heartbreak, and just like anyone else I was struggling to mask my feelings. My tears roll down my cheeks nonstop, and I cover my face with my hands when the crowd starts shouting "We love you."

The show goes on and I try to ignore the pain in my chest as I sing all the other songs. It was also one idea of mine to use the last minutes of the show to answer some questions, the security guards walking through the crowd and choosing people to hand a microphone. I knew I'd have to talk about him, to talk about us, but it was necessary.

My eyes scan the crowd as I search for the next person to talk, sitting on the edge of the stage as I do so. What I didn't expect was to meet a pair of eyes I knew way too well. Some noises are being heard and ignored by me as my eyes widen in shock and my mouth opens in surprise.

-My question is: can you forgive me?

I was so shocked by it that my heart was almost ripping out of my chest and jumping out of my body, my mouth was dry, and my skin started to get pale. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, it felt like I was being pranked, like nothing was real.

Everyone was expecting an answer, and after a few seconds, I knew I was going to look dumb if I didn't give it to him.

-You know the answer to that.

I keep my eyes on his and see him talking to the security guard. I immediately noticed what was happening and nodded to the guard, and just then, I realized Nick and Chris were next to him, all three of them being guided by the security guard to the backstage.

I sigh and shake my head, ending the show and the sort of Q&A session to go back to the dressing room. I sit down on the chair, the makeup artist starting to wipe out my makeup when we hear knocks on the door. The three brothers get in and I politely ask the artist to leave us alone so we could talk.

I look between all of them: Nick and Chris are sitting on the couch behind the chair, and Matt is standing, leaning against the door frame with his arms closed and jaw clenched. Didn't take long for Nick to start talking, going on about the show and how great it was, until Chris somehow noticed the tension and dragged Nick outside with a poor justification.

-They don't know. -It's the only thing that comes out of my mouth as I finally look at Matt again.

He shakes his head, taking a seat on the couch and resting his interlocked hands on top of his legs, looking everywhere but at me.

-So you're not here because you want to. -I almost whisper, connecting the dots and feeling the pain in my chest rising.

-Nick wanted to see you. -He says, in a tone I wouldn't even recognize as his voice.

I already felt my tears rolling down my cheeks, I couldn't help it anymore. I just nod, feeling a knot on my throat making it impossible for me to speak. He sighs, looking down at his rings and playing with them.

-Look, I'm so sorry. I should've explained it to you, but my reasons sound stupid now that I stopped to think about them. Nick and Chris were excited to see you. They didn't question it, but they noticed we hadn't talked, and I guess Nick pushed me into coming here tonight because he wanted us to sort things out.

Matt's voice cracks at the end, and I notice how his eyes look glossy, he is so ready to cry and visibly anxious.

-I was so scared to see you again because I knew I'd have to explain myself. But also, I needed to see you again, that's why I begged the security guard to let me ask you a question and why I asked to come backstage.

He clears his throat, looking away when his tears fall.

-I missed you, fuck, I'm so fucking sorry, I'm such an idiot for letting you go.

I wipe my nonstop tears, taking a seat next to him on the couch and keeping my head down, still thinking about his words. He glanced at me, his eyes were begging me silently to say something, but it was like I was incapable of talking.

-Please say something. -He whispers, and I can hear the desperation in his voice.

-Why did you break up with me?

He bites the inside of his cheek and I notice how tense he looked.

-I was scared. -He whispers, sniffing and passing his hand through his hair. -You were going away for a month, doing something you've dreamed of all your life, I just... I don't know, I guess I panicked. I couldn't stop thinking of all the things that could've happened.

I shake my head a bit, looking away from him.

-I know it's not a good reason, and I fucked up and ruined something important to you, but I'm so so sorry.

I scoff sarcastically, resting my back on the backrest of the couch.

-You were supposed to support me! I was always there to support you, your videos, your ideas... I needed you, Matt, you were the first person I told I was going on tour. I was so excited, that's not fair...

I feel my voice failing me, and suddenly, I just can't talk anymore. I close my eyes, trying not to burst into sobs.

-I know I was selfish and an awful boyfriend, and I'm sorry. I should've been there for you, and after hearing the songs you made, I know just how much I fucked up. But, please, if there's any part of you that still loves me, let me try again. I promise I'll be there for you. I can't live like this, I can't live without you, it's too painful, please.

He begs, slowly lifting his hands to cup my cheeks and make me look at him. He looked devastated, eyes red and puffy and tears rolling down his cheeks. I've never seen him like this before.

-I know I don't deserve it, you probably deserve way better, but I want to be better, I want to be the one for you, the best one. Being without you was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, I can't let you go again.

He pulls me closer, resting his forehead on mine, crying as I've never seen him cry before. My heart sank at the sight of him, and all I wanted was to hug him, but the other part of me wanted to just leave. I was so confused and didn't expect to go through this.

-I was so scared, I'm so scared, I can't lose you again, please baby. Just one more chance, I'm begging you.

Hearing him calling me baby again was enough for me to break down. I immediately wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug and burying my face on his shoulder, sobbing and letting go of all the feelings I felt during the month.

-I'm so sorry. -He keeps repeating over and over again, hugging me tightly.

-I needed you. -I say, between hiccups.

-I know, baby, I'm here now, I won't leave again, I promise.

He rubs my back gently, resting his chin on the top of my head, pressing a gentle kiss there.

-If you're leaving again, just leave now. I can't go through all of this again. -I say, pulling away slightly to look up at him.

He shakes his head, placing his hand on my cheeks again, cupping my face.

-I won't ever leave again, you understand? I'm not leaving.

Matt rubs his thumb against my cheek gently, scanning my face carefully. I do the same, studying his expressions and seeing nothing but honesty. He suddenly leans to press his lips against mine, pecking my lips quickly before pulling away, unsure if I'd kiss him back, but when I reach for his lips again he tilts his head to deepen it.

-I'm sorry. -He whispers against my lips.

-I know. -I nod slowly.

-Please be my girlfriend again.

Matt lifts my head gently, keeping eye contact, a smile finally growing on my lips.

-I was hoping you'd say that.

He giggles a bit, pulling me into another hug.

-I love you, I'm sorry.

-I love you, too, but please stop apologizing, it's okay now.

-Okay, sorry.

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔 ✍︎

@riowritesitall @sturniolosarethebest @hyacinthst @anabanana28 @flower-sturns @sturncakez @watercolorskyy @delooshunalhoe @sarosfilms @blahbel668 @sturniyolo69 @sturniolosl0t @sturnsxbitvh @colbsposts00 @fallingforfalll2 @stvrnmc @slxtformatt @starnoirr @katie-tibo @mattsfavbigtitties @sturnioloblues

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connorsblog · 5 months ago

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Season 4 Carl has a grab on me. Could please write a fic where Carl and Rick are in the house, Rick is unconscious, basically those episodes but when Michonne shows, she shows up with reader, whom Michonne found on her journey. Carl and reader become friends quite easily. Just a massive fluff. Pretty please, with a Dixon on top? 💕🙏

who's the cowboy? | c.g

genre : fluff !

summary : read request

a/n : i love this idea, thank you for requesting !!

i didn't really know how i ended up with michonne, i was just pacing up and down this abandoned house's hallway — and i had heard something clang on the road.

i was hesitant to check it out, but i'm glad i did.

me and michonne were walking down this narrow street. i think she is looking for someone, but i'm not sure, she seemed preoccupied.

"are you looking for someone?" i inquired, focusing on my feet planting themselves on the gravel whilst michonne tried to find a way to answer.

"yes, i'm looking for my friend. his name is rick. he has a son, too," she seemed melancholy about them, almost like one of them were dead — or something of the sort.

"oh — here we are, i think." her head angled upwards as she looked towards the house. it was scuffed up, dirt projected all over the sides from the roamers' hands scuffing it up.

"you think?" i asked, squinting as far as i could into the window of the door. i couldn't see anything, nor hear anything. probably not a good sign.

"can't be too sure these days, kid." was all she had said before promptly walking around the house's outside area — probably inspecting it.

i heard a sudden clang, which made me jump. michonne came straight over as it happened, and it was from inside the building.

suddenly there was some sort of indistinct yelling, it sounded from a kid. he sounded angry, too.

michonne seemed to recognize that voice immediately, most likely this “rick”s son of his.

she didnt have any problem with knocking now, her knuckles making a firm noise against the white wood.

i saw a head peek into the door's window, a pale faced boy with piercing eyes — dark, almost an upsetting shade of blue surrounding the middlest hue, bright and electrified.

his face seemed to light up as he saw michonne, he hadn't seemed to notice me yet though. he'd figure out soon enough anyway.

after various locks unclicked on the door, it swung open to reveal a couch shoved into the corner of the main room, probably just recently.

he had a sheriff's hat on his head, uneven and disheveled — probably from the yelling that occurred just a minute ago.

"who's the cowboy?" i half-joked, teasing him about his sheriffs hat. truthfully, it suited him quite well.

"his name is carl," michonne spoke up, introducing carl to myself and me to him before we all three entered the house.

he closed the door loudly prior to us entering, clicking the locks with a certain precision, probably signaling he had been here for quite some time already. or maybe he just got used to the locks.

michonne stayed by the older mans body — presumably this rick she had talked about. he looked dead, which explained carl's disheveled appearance.

"do you read comics?" carl finally asked after he caught me staring. not a good first impression, i thought silently.

"i read some, i usually don't have time for it, though." i answered simply.

"i have a few michonne got for me. wanna see?" he voiced, seeming to get more comfortable with me as the seconds ticked on.

"yeah, sure." i squinted, following carl to one of the other rooms to check out his comic collection — or what was left, at least.

——————————————————————————

it had been at least an hour of me and carl talking about comics together before michonne interrupted him in the middle of an X-Men comic he had grown quite passionate about.

"carl," she started as she poked her head into the doorframe rather eagerly, saying both of our names. "you guys hungry?"

me and carl shared a glance before nodding, his smile infectious and spreading to my face almost instantly.

as me and carl ate, we had laughed about numerous things. stupid stuff like milk dribbling down carls chin as he ate eagerly, or my obnoxious laugh as he did so. it was refreshing, i had missed that burning sensation in my cheeks from smiling.

i had said something that caused michonne to chip in and laugh as well. they both seemed to forget about ricks figure on the plush couch.

well, they couldn't now — i saw his frame move. either he was a roamer now, or he had magically woke up.

——————————————————————————

"i don't think i've heard him laugh like that since — well, for a while." i heard rick murmur as carl began to laugh again.

"well — this one time, i had a friend in like second grade, right? i had tried his lactose free milk and i almost puked!" exaggeration seeped into his voice, but it was too funny not to start laughing along with him.

this conversation had started when michonne offered for carl to try this lactose free milk, cue his story.

"seriously? you almost puked? i doubt that," michonne chuckled, watching the both of us laugh along with her.

"no! i'm not lying, it was horrible!" he puncuated each word, making a vomiting sound at the end of his sentence.

that caused us to laugh even more — even rick ended up joining in eventually.

note : i LOVED writing this so very much !! thank you again for this request, i appreciate it :)

#connorsblog #the walking dead #twd #the grimes family #michonne grimes #rick grimes #carl grimes #carl grimes x reader #michonne x rick #i love tjem so much

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songmingisthighs · 7 months ago

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Wanbelyn

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. lxx - good girl

neurosurgeon!hongjoong × reader

buy me coffee ?

where love and peace is held, i never expected for this to happen. i planned and i planned, i expected, and i hoped, but it was never you. you held what i wanted hostage to make room for you, the thing that i needed but has no means of acceptance. deny me, live your best life.

At this point, you found yourself in somewhat of a choreographed dance with the father and son duo manoeuvring the child in question. Usually, you would have to move quickly between taking Kijoong's things out of the car and making sure that he wouldn't make a run for it, even going as far as installing a car seat, iPad holder, and small containers of cereal and snacks, effectively turning your car into a mom car. Now, you simply needed to focus on Kijoong because Hongjoong would instinctively take your bag and any of Kijoong's belongings with him. Then, the two of you would basically lock Kijoong's hands in each of yours and making sure that Kijoong wouldn't have any means of escaping or running away as your bodies would block his sides.

You both call it "inmate transfer" and others pointed out that it's actually called "the family hold". You both were confident that "inmate transfer" is correct.

"I think I stuffed myself stupid," Hongjoong huffed, taking a moment to readjust his pants before resuming the walk back to the elevator from his dedicated parking spot. You couldn't help but snicker in amusement at the way he was so comfortable with you, totally different from the person you first knew less than three months ago. "I told you not to get a second plate, Joong, this is all on you," you teased which caused Kijoong to chirp, "Yeah, Joong," he teased, sticking his tongue out at his dad. Hongjoong squinted his eyes at the two of you, "Hey, I finished my main course, I EARN that dessert. And you had some, (y/n), you can't talk shit about my decision," he huffed before crouching down to Kijoong's height, "And that's daddy to you, mister," he said, poking Kijoong's nose.

Teasingly, you raised an eyebrow at Hongjoong, "You asked me to spend my day off with you and Kijoong, I think I reserve the right to call you out for eating a plate of two waffles drenched in maple syrup and ice cream after finishing a whole ass pasta by yourself. And while we're on the subject, who eats carbonara at 10 am?" "Yeah, Joong, who?" Kijoong teased again, this time drawling to poke fun at his dad even more. "A hungry man using food as a reward for a week of hard work," he said in a mocking tone, causing you to raise an eyebrow, "So is this your way of telling me that I've done a good job?" you teased.

"Do you think you've done a good job?"

Suddenly there was a wave of seriousness over the two of you (Kijoong was blissfully unaware, of course, what with kicking pebbles around as he held onto your hands). You momentarily stop in your steps to look at Hongjoong, "What?" Hongjoong stopped in his tracks as well to look back at you, "Do you think you've done a good job so far? Are you satisfied? Are you happy working here?" Already had a feeling that the discussion was coming, you wasted no time in going straight to the point, "Is this about my employment ending?" Hongjoong was kind of glad that you brought it up first as he didn't really know how to say those exact words (In all honesty, Hongjoong didn't know how to say a lot of things to you but one conversation at a time). "Kind of, yeah," Hongjoong confirmed.

For a moment, you pursed your lips and resorted to continuing your walk to the elevator as Kijoong, still in his own world, tried to get you to kick the pebbles with him.

Feeling obligated to explain, Hongjoong opened his mouth again, "I should clarify, I'm not asking you because I'm reviewing your work or anything. In fact, I just want to know if you're happy which I think is the biggest factor in sticking with a job." You could tell that he was trying his best to not be confrontational and your lack of answer would soon make him cry. "Good because if that was your way of firing me after all that we have been through, I would be so pissed, I'd actually give Kijoong back his toy gun." Hearing his name and toy, Kijoong perked up and started jumping excitedly, "MY GUN!?" he exclaimed, hopeful but you immediately shot it down, patting his head with your free hand, "No sweetie, and please don't interrupt your daddy and I are talking."

Relieved, Hongjoong chuckled and shook his head, "At this point, it would make more sense if you leave in the middle of the night and move away to Antarctica or something. But I know you wouldn't," "Hey, I might," you pointed out, rolling your eyes, "Push my buttons enough times and I'll pull a disappearing act so fantastic, it would get Best Performance award at the Grammys or something." Hongjoong's eyes widened, thinking that you were serious, "What, you mean to tell me that you'd consider leaving us?" there was a slight panic in his voice that made you crack out rather loudly, "Oh my God, Joong, calm down! I was just joking! You know I love working with you and I'll be honest, I'm kind of attached to the cutie pies of apartment 801 so it would take a lot for me to not want to continue working with you," you said lightheartedly, pinching Kijoong's cheek affectionately.

It was only when you both stepped inside the elevator that Hongjoong realized what you just said. "Wait, did you just say 'cuties'? As in plural?" Confusedly, you raised an eyebrow at him, "Um, yeah? Why do you think I keep feeding you? You're basically Kijoong-sized XL and I love the boy to bits," this time, you couldn't help but scoop Kijoong into your arms and blew a raspberry on his cheek, making him giggle from the ticklish feeling. There was a mix of feelings that surged through Hongjoong's body and he couldn't pinpoint on the cause as the giddiness was so palpable he could taste it at the tip of his tongue. The sheer feeling rendered him speechless and he could only find his voice when the elevator door opened and the three of you stepped out.

"So... You love me?"

In all fairness, Hongjoong meant that as a joke. Or so he said. He so totally doesn't lowkey hope that you'd say yes. But he was totally expecting you to roll your eyes and call him stupid.

The last thing he expected was for you to step closer to him, nudge his hip with yours and grin, "What do you think, Joong? What do your own feelings tell you?"

A sudden wave of excitement-induced nausea washed over Hongjoong, his body forcing his brain to prepare to have the talk. The one talk he knew he had to have with you considering the revelation he made (through Seonghwa pointing it out but he was not about to give his friend the credit).

You saw that his brain was trying to connect the dots and it was entertaining, to say the least. But at that moment, it dawned on you that you had just opened the door to a conversation you had only planned to have but even that plan was not solid. So to feign being coy, you took quick steps to get to Hongjoong's apartment first. "Hey!" Hongjoong exclaimed when he realized that you had taken off on him and he followed suit. While the distance from the elevator to this unit was not long, he caught up with you quick but it was because you had stopped in your tracks in the middle of the hallway, eyes trailed forward which caused him to look in the same direction.

It was like seeing a ghost. Well, a ghost from his past. Because out of all the moments in the timeline of his life, he would never have expected to see the person he was seeing. Not after what happened in the past.

"Minhee?" he called out.

Minhee, his ex, pushed her body off of the door and smiled gently, eyes looking over to Hongjoong before it settled on you and then on the boy who looked at her confusedly, not knowing who she was but he was intuitive enough to sense that there was something going on. You took notice of this when Kijoong suddenly turned around and clung on your body, refusing to look at his birth mother.

You, on the other hand, couldn't help but stare at her. She looked like the pictures you had caught glimpses of when you were cleaning but... Happier. She looked pretty and well-kept, exactly like how a young lady from a respected family should what with her all-white get-up and expensive bag. The nasty side of your brain immediately made comparisons and you came to the conclusion that you and her were vastly different and though momentarily, the thought of her being the kind of person that made Hongjoong commit flashed, leaving a nasty remnant that felt itchy.

"Well, aren't you going to let an old friend in?" she smiled.

Hell, even her voice sounded nice.

How were you going to fare?

network:

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet

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lanadelnegan · 1 year ago

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Hi there! This is my first time doing an ask so I hope I'm doing it correctly! If you want to, can you do dead city Negan x female reader who is traveling with Maggie and she and Maggie had been friends even before Glenn and she used to be in Rick's group and Negan really liked her in the later seasons but never did anything about it until he was traveling with her and Maggie and then they end up talking and having sex? If you don't want to do this, just ignore!

are you kidding me? YES. I've been wanting to do dead city negan so I am so excited for this one. Hope you love it. xx

Knock Knock

DeadCity!Negan x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, dead city season 1 spoilers, vaginal sex (riding), hot hot hot smut.

"Knock knock.... I said.. knock knock." I glance around the corner to see Negan bashing a man's head through the glass windows.

"Butter." He answers himself. ".... Butter who? Well you butter get out your umbrellas cause it is about to goddamn rain." I watch from a distance as he slices the man's throat and blood sprays down from the second floor down.

He throws the man over the railing before turning back towards Maggie and me. I lock eyes with him and I... think I finally get him.

"Move! Go!" He quickly leads the three of us away from the chaos. Although my brain switches to survival mode, I'm still somehow hyper aware of the fact that Negan's hand doesn't leave my lower back the entire time we're running.

I've always been physically attracted to Negan, although I'd never admit that to anyone, especially Maggie. I've known Maggie longer than anyone from our group and I love her like a sister... And I loved Glenn like a brother.

The day we met Negan, our lives changed forever. I told myself I'd never fall for anyone, because I couldn't allow myself to ever go through the pain I had to watch Maggie go through... That we all had to go through. I try not to get attached to many people because my biggest fear is losing the people I love.

I don't forgive Negan, but watching what he did earlier.. I think I understand who he is now. His charisma is his weapon. And it works.

"....... y/n ...... "Y/n?!" I snap my head towards Maggie's voice. "Why are you staring at him like that?!" She whispers angrily at me.

I look back at Negan sleeping on the mattress on the floor next to us. We managed to escape and found a small abandoned space to allow us to rest for a bit. We - well, I.. offered to let Negan sleep first since he's refused to shut his eyes once since we got here two days ago.

And as I sit here staring at him, I can't help but think.. he trusts us to look after things while he sleeps. We could slit his throat right now, but he.. trusts us. And we're seriously turning him in to the Croat? I'd do anything to get Hershel back and I don't blame Maggie for what she's doing. But.. tricking him seems.. wrong. He agreed to help because he wanted to.. because he cares.. and we're using him. My stomach aches at the thought.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Maggie snaps again.

I glance at her before staring at the floor in front of me. There's no point in explaining my thoughts to her. Nothing is going to stop her plan, and I don't even know if I want her to stop the plan. I want Hershel back too. I just wish there was another way that didn't involve.. hurting him.

"I don't know what your problem is, y/n. But you've barely said a word since yesterday. Get it together. Remember the plan... I'm going to search the building to see our exit options. Stay here and keep your eyes on him.. since you don't seem to have a problem doing that."

I ignore her attitude and continue staring at the floor as she walks past me, leaving me in the quiet room with Negan.

When the door click shuts, Negan lets out a loud sigh and my eyes widen at him. His eyes are still shut but he finally speaks. "She's right, ya know?"

I stare at him, waiting for him to explain what he means. "You have been weird since yesterday. What's on your mind, girl?"

"Why would I tell you?"

He turns his eyes towards me, still laying on his back with his hand resting behind his head.

"When are you gonna drop the act, y/n?"

"What act?"

"The one where you pretend you don't want my dick."

I scoff and lean forward. "You can't be serious. The only one here who knows how to put on a show.. is you."

"And how is that exactly?"

I think about his little performance earlier. ".... You pretend you're some scary badass so that people will be scared of you. You put on these little shows so people think you're crazy and end up giving in to you."

He just laughs. "I don't have to pretend to be a badass, darlin'."

I roll my eyes, annoyed that he missed the point.

He eyes me curiously. "And so what if I put on a show? It works, don't it?" His grin stretches wider.

"Yeah, you did a great job traumatizing our entire community. Congrats, Negan."

His smirk slowly fades and he sits up on the mattress, his back leaning against the wall behind him.

"Y/n, how many times do I have say I'm sorry? I live with the guilt every goddamn day. Isn't that punishment enough?"

I scoff. "You could get down on your knees and beg and it still wouldn't be enough."

His eyebrows raise playfully at my suggestion but I ignore him.

"Look, Negan. I'm probably the only one in our group that has any empathy towards you. And I'm not proud to admit that. But the times we live in.. I know that people have to do things in order to survive. Not that what you did was okay, but.. I.. I get it now."

He just nods acceptingly, so I get up, my ass numb from sitting on the hard floor. I grab a granola bar out of my backpack and go sit next to him on the mattress.

"I'm sitting here because my ass hurts, not because I want to be next to you." I explain before taking a bite out of my granola bar. I offer him the rest and he accepts it. We sit in silence for a moment before we look at each other.

I can't help but study his face, noticing the gray hairs spread throughout his beard. He has more wrinkles around his eyes than the "old Negan" and it gives him a softer look than before. For a moment I let myself imagine what it would be like to be with him and forget all the bad he's done.

"What are you thinking about right now?" He deep voice is barely above a whisper and I don't miss the way his eyes quickly dart to my mouth.

Before I give myself time come to my senses, I lean forward and press my lips to his. I can tell he's caught off guard but he eventually kisses me back, allowing my tongue to slide past his lips. I moan softly into his mouth before pulling back just enough to look at him and observe his reaction. His hazel brown eyes are blown with lust as he waits for my next move.

I know this is wrong but that somehow makes me want him more. I crash my lips against his again, kissing him harder this time. He turns his body more towards mine and brings his hand to the back of my neck to deepen our kiss.

Before I get too carried away, I stand up, walking to the door and shoving a couch in front of it just in case Maggie comes back soon.

Fuck... Maggie. Guilt washes over me and I stand still, contemplating what the fuck I'm doing with my life.

This is the apocalypse. People do bad things.. unforgiveable things. That's just the world we live in. I give myself a mental pep talk and take my shirt off before I can change my mind. I slide my pants down and kick them to the side before walking back over to Negan.

I stand over him as he sits with his back against the wall and his legs stretched out in front of him.

He pats his lap and smirks up at me. "Have a seat, darlin'."

I sit down, straddling his lap with my knees on either side of him on the mattress. His large, rough hands grip my hips and he looks up at me. My lips find their way back to his again and I bring my hands up, cupping his face as I allow myself to get lost in the taste of his mouth.

He groans softly and I feel him grow underneath me. I break the kiss to look down between us and notice the large bulge in his pants.

"Your dick better be as big as you act like it is." I warn him while unbuttoning his pants. His hands remain glued to my hips and he smirks up at me, like he wants to see my face when I see his dick for the first time.

I unzip his pants and pull out his fully erect cock. He's long, heavy and thick in my hand and my mouth slightly drops open at the sight of it.

"See, darlin'? It wasn't an act." I can't tear my eyes away from it long enough to see his proud grin stretched across his handsome face.

I'm pretty sure my cheeks are just as red as the tip right now. While I'm admiring him, I feel his hand reach for my ass and squeeze before he slowly slips his fingers underneath my panties from behind. The tip of his middle finger finds my already soaked opening and he pushes his finger in me, causing me to moan while he chuckles darkly.

His finger slides out of me before he brings it up to his mouth, sucking my juices off. "God, baby." He moans at the taste, rolling his eyes back in his head dramatically. "You taste fucking amazing."

I blush at the sight of him tasting me and lift myself up over him until he's at my entrance. His hands are back on my hips as he guides me, looking down between us. He watches himself disappear inside of me and groans with satisfaction.

"Fuuuuck, baby. Look. At. That."

I slowly slide down on him before stopping half way.

"Come on doll, you can take more than that." He encourages me.

I try to sit all the way down on him but it hurts too bad. I've never had something in me so deep and there's still a good three more inches to go. I shake my head, "Negan.. I can't. It's too big."

He laughs and bends his knees, his feet resting on the mattress now, before thrusting up into me without warning. I gasp at the sudden pain.

"Just had to break the barrier, baby." He smiles up at me and I almost slap him before I realize I'm now able to slide down on his length all the way to his balls. I feel every inch of him pressed tightly against my inner walls. My arms wrap around his shoulders as I rock myself back and forth, trying my best to make room for him, but he fills the space inside of me completely.

He groans from the sensation and bites down on the skin between my neck and shoulder. I'm too caught up in how good this feels to worry about him leaving a mark on me.

My pussy pulses at how good he feels in me and he must feel it because he lets out another satisfied groan.

"Fuck darlin', if you squeeze me any tighter I'm not gonna be able to control myself."

I lean back a little, my arms still holding onto him and look into his eyes. I adjust, allowing myself to easily bounce up and down on his cock now. He slams my hips down on him roughly with each bounce and the feeling of his tip pushing against my cervix over and over causes my face to flush red and the butterflies in my stomach to travel south. My mouth is dropped open slightly as I stare at him, unable to even form a sound. I'm not a virgin by any means, but this feels like nothing I've ever experienced in my life.

He stares back at me grinning like he can hear my thoughts. "Let me hear you, baby. How good does daddy make you feel?"

"So. Fucking. Good. Oh my goddd." I bounce on him faster and moan loudly.

"That's it, baby." He grunts out. "Such a good fucking girl."

"Negan.. I'm-" I can't even finish my sentence before my orgasm catapults me into another dimension. He watches my face closely as I come apart around him.

The sound of walkers suddenly appear behind the door and I hear Maggie coming down the hall, stabbing them one by one.

"Oh fuck." My eyes widen as I look at him. I try to jump off him but he slams me back down on him.

"No way baby, you're finishing what you started."

I panic when I hear her get closer. "Negan!" I whisper yell at him. "Fuck.. just.. cum in me!"

This time his eyes widen at me.

"We don't have time to clean up!" I explain. "Cum in me. Now."

He thrusts up into a couple more times before his hips halt and I feel his dick pulsing inside me over and over. His head is dropped back against the wall as he cums and I watch him bite his bottom lip to suppress his moans.

I quickly jump off him and set a world record with how fast I throw my clothes on. Negan shoves himself back in his pants and zips them up. I move the couch from the doorway and fling the door open, helping Maggie finish off the rest of the walkers.

She looks at me annoyed while she shoves past me. "What the hell took you so long to come help?!"

I follow Maggie back into the room. She finds Negan laying on his back again with his eyes shut, like he never moved an inch before eyeing me suspiciously. Warm liquid suddenly pools uncomfortably in my underwear and I shrug at her, biting back a grin at the sight of Negan "sleeping."

He really is a good actor.

This was so fun to write. Thank you for the request!!!

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jpmarvel90 · 1 year ago

Text

The Healer

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Word Count: 3588

Relationship: Natasha x Reader (but not really)

Summary: Y/n was a prisoner of Hydra where she was experimented on to give her the powers to heal. She was then forced to use those powers to heal any person Hydra sent her way. That was until the Avengers stormed the base she was held at. Surely her life would only get better from here....right?

Y/n's POV:

You'd think being an Avenger is a dream. Maybe for the others it is. But for me it's a nightmare. For the majority of my adult life, I had been held captive by Hydra. In that time, I was tortured and tested on. So much so that I now have the ability to heal people. I would dream for the day that I might escape and be able to use my powers for good, rather than healing those causing pain and destruction.

Then one day, the Avengers came and stormed the base I was being held in. Because of my powers, I was being forced to heal the wounded and when Tony Stark came across me, he assumed I was one of them. He knocked me out and I woke up in a new cell. Granted this one was slightly more comfortable.

Three months I spent in there, only being let out if it was to heal one of the team if they were hurt. I had tried to explain to them that I have never and will never support Hydra, but they wouldn't listen to me. I gave up in the end, realising that they would never listen or believe me. After some time had passed, Fury decided that I would become part of the Avengers or be sent straight to the raft. I obviously decided the former and soon was allowed out of my cell and into a room of my own. Not that I was ever permitted to leave the compound, except for missions.

I had hoped that over time, maybe I could earn the team's trust. That I could prove to them who I really am and maybe even make some friends. But I couldn't have been more wrong. None of them cared for me. I wasn't welcome at team meals. I was to eat on my own. So, you can imagine that I was never allowed to team building events or parties.

I was simply a healer to them. And an evil one at that. I was used to go on endless missions and heal anyone who was injured. From small cuts to stab and gun shot wounds. They had no care for the impact that it was having on my body. Each time I heal, it drains me. The more severe the injury, the long it would take for me to recover. But to the team, it was a price I had to pay for my sins.

I wasn't just sent on Avenger missions either. Any important Shield ones, I would be made to tag along. There were times I struggled to see the difference to Hydra. I was being used in exactly the same way but here, I had a more comfortable room. But I was still a prisoner, being used for powers I never asked for.

It didn't take me long to realise that I would never be able to show the team that I'm no threat and was taken against my will. Not even Wanda, who did actually volunteer to work with Hydra, gave me the time of day.

I would hear the snide comments and questioning of my worth. Then Steve would speak up and talk about how valuable I was. But not because of me as person, but because of my powers. If they could take my powers from me and give them to someone else, I know they would do it in a heartbeat and I would be locked away for life on the Raft.

I started to train myself to help with trying to keep my mental health in check. Some days it was hard to get out of bed. I'm ashamed that I have considered ending everything. Maybe I wasn't meant for this world. But then I would snap out of it and know that I have to fight. So, I taught myself how to. I wasn't too bad, and Steve found me one day and sparred with me. He was impressed and told me that I would be able to support in more than just a healing capacity. It didn't change his view of me as a person though.

So that's what happened. I was expected to fight alongside them, as well as heal them. Although my stamina increased overtime, I still couldn't control the impact on my body when healing someone. But once again. The team didn't care when I would practically crawl back onto the QuinJet. In fact, I'm sure they would leave me behind if they weren't so desperate for my healing abilities.

Today, we're heading out on a big mission. They have found one of the main Hydra bases. Our job is to go in, get intel and blow the place up. Natasha and Wanda will be going in and getting any information they need. Steve will plant the bombs, whilst the rest of us keep the Hydra agents busy.

There weren't too many injuries that I had to heal. Barton took a knife to the stomach, but it missed any vital organs, so wasn't too bad to heal, whilst Sam broke his arm when his wingsuit was taken out and he fell to the ground. It meant my energy was up and I was able to focus on fighting and making sure I did my job to the best of my ability.

As the fighting grew more intense, my comms crackled and I heard a shaky voice coming through. "Y/n. We need support in the comms room. Nat's been hit. I-it's bad." Wanda calls out.

Nat's POV:

This mission was going to be a huge success if we could take this base out. It was one of Hydra's 4 main bases. It would significantly affect their ability to carry out attacks on the scale they have been doing so.

Wanda and I were able to get inside relatively easily with the others fighting out the front. Wanda used her powers to deal with any agents we came across and protected me whilst I started to download as much information as I could. I then started looking through the rows of filing cabinets, hoping to find something useful. Whilst flicking through one of the draws, I see a picture of someone I recognise.

It's Y/n, though she looks far younger. Maybe 18. Intrigued, I start flicking through the file, but soon regret it when I read her history. My hand flies to my mouth and I gasp as I see the evidence that proved what Y/n had told us was true. She truly was a prisoner. Captured when she was 19 and held captive for 7 years. She wasn't born with her powers but was instead tested upon. My whole body fills with regret and I feel like I could be sick. We have treated her like the enemy for so long when she was the victim.

"What is it?" Wanda asks me as she appears by my side. "We were wrong about Y/n." I state, handing her the file, before running my hands through my hair. "Oh my God. She was telling the truth." She gasps herself at the realisation. "How could we treat her so badly. We basically have held her prisoner and forced her to heal us. It's no different to what Hydra were doing to her." I exclaim, anger building within me at how we treated someone who just needed our help.

"We can fix this. When this mission is over, we'll show this to the team, and we'll work to make this right." Wanda suggests. "Assuming she could ever forgive us." I mumble, knowing we have done far too much damage for her to easily accept our apology.

My guard is down as my mind races over all the horrible things I've said, that we've all said. I don't see the guards coming in the room behind us. Both Wanda and I are too late to react before two gun shots go off. I feel the burning instantly in my chest and stomach as my mouth starts to fill with blood. "NAT!" Wanda calls out, rushing in my direction. Not before using a blast of her red magic to end the agent that had managed to hit me.

My legs start to wobble, and I fall to the floor in a heap, my hands trying to stop the bleeding. Wanda drops to her knees and presses her hands down firmly on my wounds to help in the task, but it's all in vain as her own hands are soon painted in red. "We need Y/n." Wanda mumbles before activating her comms. Her eyes never leave me as they fill with tears. I know it's bad. I'm going to die if Y/n doesn't get here in time. "Y/n. We need support in the comms room. Nat's been hit. I-it's bad." Wanda calls out for our teammate. The one that we have failed so badly.

We're amazed at how quickly she gets here, she's out of breath as she drops to the floor besides me. I can feel my life slowly seeping away. "It's ok Agent Romanoff, I've got you." She smiles at me. I can never understand how she is so kind in these moments. She's soft and caring as she heals you. Then once it's done, we treat her like the enemy we thought she was.

"You guys need to get out of there. The bombs have been set and are due to detonate in a couple of minutes." Steve informs us and I see panic form in Wanda's eyes. "Go Miss Maximoff. I've got this." Y/n tells the witch. She's reluctant to leave as Y/n places her hands over my stomach to start healing. "GO! I promise that Agent Romanoff will be safe." She shouts, taking Wanda by surprise. Reluctantly, Wanda gets to her feet and walks backwards slowly. "I'll see you at the jet." She says, before running back through the building to safety.

I look to Y/n who is focusing on the job at hand. I can feel the warmth as my body starts to heal. Though with each passing second, I see Y/n's face become paler. Her eyes struggle to stay open and it's then I realise the real impact of healing someone does to her. Especially when they are so close to death. We've tortured her ourselves as we've forced her to heal us.

Her body suddenly crumples to the floor, and I look down to see my wounds completely healed, not even a scar. "Y/n, wake up. Stay with me." I say, moving to her side, tapping her face gently to get her to wake. Her eyes flutter open and I smile at her. "Thank you." I say, though my heart breaks at the affect my words have on her. I don't think we've ever thanked her for saving our lives. She's done it on numerous occasions.

"You both need to get out now. The bombs are due to detonate any second now." Steve yells down the comms. "Go." She indicates to me, but I shake my head. "Not without you." I tell her, wrapping my arm around her trying to lift her. She's a dead weight but I know I can carry her out. "Stop." She says firmly. "We won't make it if you try and get me out." She says with a look of acceptance on her face. "No, I won't leave you behind." I reiterate, but she uses what little strength she has to push me off her. "It was only a matter of time until I was no longer useful to you all. Go and save yourself." She snaps at me, and I realise that she thinks the only reason I'm saving her is because of her powers.

"No Y/n. I know the truth now. You deserve a happy life. One where you chose your destiny. I won't let you die here in this hell hole." I tell her firmly. "Mr Stark, are you able to come and get Agent Romanoff?" Y/n asks through the comms. "We're both getting out of here. Do you hear me?" I shout just as Tony confirms he's a minute out.

We feel the ground shake as the first bomb goes off, it's only a matter of time until they reach us. "Maybe my death will purge me of my sins." Y/n says through laboured breath. "No, you have nothing to atone for. We do. For how we've treated you. I'm so sorry Y/n. We never should have done what we did to you. It's unforgivable." I try to apologise to her, cupping her face.

Before I can say anything more, Tony blasts through a wall and grabs me in his arms. "Time to go Romanoff." He says but I fight to get out of his arms. "NO! Not without Y/n." I try to get back to the stricken girl on the floor. She can't die. Not like this. "We're going Romanoff. It's fitting that she should die in the place she called home." Tony snarls, making the anger boil within me as he runs out the hole in the wall he had just created.

Even with all my strength I can't get out of his grip, and I give in as he flies away. I watch the building below me getting smaller as we get further away. Just as we're out of danger I watch in horror as the building explodes. "NO!" I scream knowing that Y/n is in there. Tony lands and places me on the floor and is shocked when I start pushing him. "You left her there to die! You asshole!" I scream at him, my anger boiling over as the others come to see what the commotion is. "It was you or her Romanoff and that wasn't even a choice." Tony growls back at me.

"She was innocent!" I yell, taking them all by surprise. "She was telling the truth. She was never working for Hydra by choice. She was a prisoner who spent the majority of her time there being tortured. She would have thought she was free when we saved her, but instead we made her a prisoner of our own, using her for her powers." I rant angrily, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Come on Romanoff, she got to you. Just because she healed you doesn't mean you have to believe her." He argues back. "She's right. Y/n was telling us the truth. We've treated her like the enemy when really, she was the victim." Wanda backs me up. At our revelation, I watch as the others come to terms with what we've done. Steve's head drops as he pulls off his mask. Sam holds the arm the Y/n had not long ago healed whilst Clint looked like he had seen a ghost.

"How do we even know this is true. It could still all be some elaborate plan." Tony tries to dismiss the truth. I reach into my pocket where I had put her file and slammed it into his chest. "Read this and tell me you still feel the same." I spit at him. "We're meant to be the world's mightiest heroes. But how would people react when they hear how we treated a helpless prisoner." I fume, embarrassed by our actions.

I turn away from my team and look to the mountain of rubble in front of me. Maybe she's still alive. Maybe I can find her. With determination in my step and tears stinging my eyes, I start walking towards the rubble. "Where are you going?" Wanda calls after me. "To find her. Hopefully alive, but if not, she deserves a funeral. One showing the real hero she is." I shout back over my shoulder, my eyes locking on to the rough area she would have been.

I start moving the rubble with my bare hands, calling out for Y/n periodically. I'm praying that she responds to me, that she calls out and we're able to save her. Whilst I'm moving the rubble, I see a whisp of red, helping to move it out of the way. I look up to see Wanda, giving me a tight-lipped smile. "She's our teammate. We do this together." She tells me. Soon after the others join us, working to move as much as we can in the hopes of finding Y/n alive.

"Can you feel her at all?" I ask Wanda when we're no closer to finding her. She doesn't respond. She doesn't have to. The pain and regret in her eyes give me the answer I didn't want.

As time goes on, my hope starts to dwindle. She can't die like this. The last words said to her were out of such malice. She needs to know how much we appreciate her, how sorry we are and how much we want to make this up to her. I can see the hope fading for everyone, but we refuse to stop. Even when Fury sends Maria to get us back home. She's soon to join us, her own guilt building.

When I move a large bit of wood, I see a familiar tattoo. 98-321. Y/n has that tattoo. "OVER HERE!" I shout out to the others who are quick to head in my direction as I quickly work to remove the rubble on top of her, ignoring the blood and bruises forming on my hands. I manage to get her free and pull her into my lap whilst the others gather around. "Y/n? Y/n? Can you hear me? It's Natasha." I say to her, tapping her face. But unlike earlier, she doesn't wake.

With shaky hands, I move my two fingers towards her neck and press against her pulse point. I close my eyes tightly hoping to find any signs of life. Though if I really took in her body, I would have seen it would have been an impossible ask. "No." I whisper when I feel nothing.

I hold her close, her skin feeling cold against my touch. "I'm so sorry. Please come back to us. I'm sorry." I start to cry as I hold her limp body in my arms. I rest my head against her chest where her heart no longer beats. I don't care about the blood and dusty that is starting to cover my body. I just want to hold her, in the hopes that, by some miracle, she may understand how sorry we truly are.

"You were a hero Y/n and we didn't treat you like one. We let you suffer when you needed help more than anyone. I wish we could have saved you. Given you the life you deserved. I can only promise that we will never allow this to happen again. Believe me when I say you were seen, and your input to this team was invaluable. You have saved all our lives in some capacity or another. I'm sorry we couldn't do the same for you." I apologise to her through my tears.

A hand on my shoulder brings me back to the devastation around us. "We should go." Steve tells me, with a sad look on his face. He bends down and carefully takes Y/n in his arms. "Be careful with her!" I warn him and he nods. "We will treat her with the utmost respect. As late as that may well be now." He reassures me.

Wanda helps me to my feet, and we follow behind Steve as we make our way back to the QuinJet. The whole team is in shock. I watch as Steve lays Y/n on one of the medical beds and gently places a blanket over her. I quickly move to the seat next to her and hold her hand. I hate the idea of her being alone in this moment.

The journey back is silent as we mourn the loss of a teammate and the embarrassment and guilt settles. When we arrive at the compound a team is waiting to take Y/n's body away and I'm reluctant to allow it. I'm alive because of her. Yet she is dead because of me.

The next few days are dark. Wanda and I plan a service that Y/n deserves. We were able to trace some family. Her sister, Sam, talked of how Y/n was taken one night, and the police were never able to find her. They had assumed she was dead. She had asked why she didn't try and find her once she had managed to escape, and I had to admit that she wasn't permitted to. It's safe to say Sam wasn't too happy when she heard about how we treated her sister.

Despite that, she attended the service for her little sister. She held a lot of pain. I guess finding out that Y/n was alive all the way along only to learn she died like she did much have been hard.

The service was perfect, and the majority of Shield turned up for it. Word had gotten around about the truth and there was a great shame felt by many. None more so than me. I'm a spy, I pride myself on being able to see what others don't. But for some reason I was blinded to this. I could have saved her. She died because of me. It's something I'll never be able to forgive myself for. But I know, that I will never let anyone else be treated the same. I will also never allow anyone to forget that Y/n Y/l/n was the true hero of the Avengers.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #romanoff #avengers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #avengers #marvel #natasha romanoff x y/n

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13as07 · 8 months ago

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Weekend #1

(Neji Hyuga & Shikamaru Nara)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to BM (?). Sorry, I couldn't find the original source but I really liked it so meh]

Requested by: xxziggy

Word Count: 3,462

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

First half is a lot a bit smut so be warned; not a full smut cause I wasn't feelin it for whatever reason

Love triangle (obvs)

Fingering (female receiving)

Blindfold

Temperature Play (Lighter/Ice Cubs)

Hickey

Getting called "pet"

Not me accidentally making this a nature (growing up with Shika) vs nurture (Neji taking care of you) situation

———————————————————————

"This is such a drag," Shikamaru says as soon as I open my front door.

"If you don't want to help me pick out a swimsuit, I'm sure Ino will," I grumble, leaving the door open as I walk away.

"You always say that she 'likes anything you try on' and that 'Ino is no help' so, no. This is less of a drag than listening to you bitch for the whole weekend," he grumbles back, closing the front door before trailing after me.

Shikamaru and I are friends... a little more than friends. Fuck buddies, we're fuck buddies. We hook up from time to time but that's what friends are for, right? Hookups and opinions. And late-night snack runs.

"I think you should just stick to the yellow one you wore on last year's weekend trip."

"And I think you're stupid. I can't wear the same one I wore last year."

"Why not? I've worn the same swim trucks for the past three years," Shika groans, feet dragging as he follows me into my room, closing my door behind himself.

"Because I wore it last year! All the other girls are going to have new ones so I need a new one. I can't be the only one without a new swimsuit," I tell him, ushering him toward the bed.

"You girls have the weirdest rules about clothes," he grumbles, flopping on his back with his feet rested on the floor, and knees bent at the edge of the mattress. "Just wear the yellow one. Your titties look good in it."

"Thanks, Shik. That's what every girl wants to hear," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes as I dig through my closet for the four or five suits I bought. He throws up a thumbs up, the promise of his eyes being closed and him being half asleep paired with it. What a lazy sass of a friend I have.

"Okay, there's four of them."

"Great," he mumbles, drawing out the word.

I ignore his sarcasm, stripping my clothes off as I decide which one to try on first. "Alright, this one is a black one-piece," I narrate, wiggling myself into the material.

"Hey, here's some crazy shit," Shika says, sitting up right now. "When I look at you, I'll be able to see the style and color of it."

"Hey Shik?" He lets out a hum, the feeling of his eyes coating my back as I check myself out in the mirror. "Stop being a douche."

He rolls my eyes at me, resting his arm on his knee, and his head on his hand. "Do a little spin," he grumbles, a finger on his free hand making a circle in the air. I do as I'm told, slowly spilling so Shikamaru can check the swimsuit out. "One-pieces are for grandmas and women without body confidence. No."

"That's a little harsh."

"Do you want me to sugarcoat it like Ino?"

I grumble out a no, tugging the suit off myself. Shika's eyes stay locked on my nudity, sights ping-ponging alongside my movements until I turn back around. "The next one is also a one-piece - "

"No."

"Shik - "

"I already told you no. You are a hot chick with a hot body. Show it off or else my weekend will be a waste."

"No, it won't be a waste. You can googly eye Ino or Tenten or Hinata or Sakura," I point out, flipping between which of the remaining two to try on next.

"Ino would pretty much be incest, Tenten scares me, Sakura has too much attitude, and Hinata doesn't have enough attitude," he explains, rolling his eyes at me again. I swear, one of these days I'm going to poke his eyes out.

"Alright, the third is a string bikini, it's powder blue and I think it makes my ass look good," I ramble, tying the strings the best I can alone. "What do you think?" I ask, doing another slow turn.

"No," he pushes out, shifting his position as he adjusts his pants. "You look..."

"Hot?"

"Easy."

"Easy?!" I yelp, crossing my arms across my chest as I glare at Shikamaru. "I'm not easy!"

"I didn't say you were! I just said that... you look easy," he mumbles the last three words, eyes locked on my chest as he adjusts himself again. "Are you easy?"

"No! What the hell, Shik?"

"You should be... easy. Like... right now. For me."

"I asked you over to pick a swimsuit, not for a fuck," I grumble, slowly walking towards him. "This isn't picking a swimsuit," I continue, using my knee to push his open before sliding between his legs.

"The... the fourth one," he mumbles, fingers curling around the thin material, sliding back and forth as his eyes drink me up.

"You haven't even seen it yet," I complain, crossing my arms over my chest again, trying to hold onto my anger that's being drained by arousal. "How do you know it'll look good?"

"You look good in everything. You look better in nothing, though," Shika tells me, eyes still jumping around as he tugs the flimsy material to the side, leaving me exposed for him to enjoy. "Though, you also look really good in this swimsuit."

"Then I'll wear this one."

"No!" He races out, eyes snapping up to my face, his face scrunched up. "I mean... no, you still look easy."

"Do I look easy or is someone getting a little jealous?" I tease, cupping his chin and forcing him to shake his head yes. "Aw, is Shika worried he's going to lose the 'fuck' benefit of being m buddy?"

"I'm not that shallow," he mumbles, rolling his eyes at me again. "We're friends cause I like being friends. Not because you let me hit it on occasion."

"Then I'm going to wear the swimsuit."

"Pack the goddamn swimsuit and I'll set it on fire."

"Set it on fire and I'll go skinny dipping all weekend."

"Or," he starts, a single finger slowly cruising through my folds, landing on my clit to rub light circles into it. "I can make you cum and in turn, you wear the fourth swimsuit."

"Ya alright," I give in, decking down to press a kiss against his lips. Shika's finger pushes into me, lightly curling against my walls as our lips dance against each other. "I have a question." He hums in acknowledgment, sliding kisses up and down my stomach as he curls another finger in me. "Did you only agree to my fashion show so we could fuck?"

"Oh, ya. I'm not going to get any this weekend so might as well empty out now so I have a little more control while you girls walk around half naked," he admits, a third finger added before he starts thrusting them in and out of me. Shikamaru's tongue slides out, slowly trailing from the string of my bottoms and stopping at the connection string of my top. "Take your top off."

"Demanding, aren't we?" I mock, tugging on the skippy strings and letting the material tumble to the floor. "You're such a tit guy."

"I'm an ass guy too," he says, squeezing my butt with his free hand before it jumps up to my breast. He toys with my nipple, rolling it between his fingers as his mouth sucks on the other one. After some time he switches his places, eyes flicker up for a moment. "You take forever," he groans, pulling his touches away from me.

"My bad, two-pump-chump," I grumble, a yelp spilling from me when Shikamaru grabs me. His arms wrap around my legs, tugging me onto the bed. "Shika!" I giggle, back landing against my mattress as he settles between my knees.

"Yes, Pet?" He murmurs, tongue sliding across my inner thigh. I toy with his hair, rubbing my nails gently across his skull, pulling a soft whimper from him. "I hate how well you know me," he groans, undoing the strings of my bikini bottoms, and dropping them on the top left on the floor.

"No, you don't," I tease, dropping my hands down to his shirt, and tugging him up my body before I start pulling it up. Once he's free from his shirt, his necklace hangs between us, dangling in my face. God I swear, I don't know what it is but it's so hot.

"You're not paying attention to me. What a drag, you're not even into it."

"I am," I hum, lifting my hand, and using a finger to toy with our clan pendent. "I'm just getting a little bored with our routine."

"The fuck am I supposed to do with that?" He grumbles, shifting his weight back and forth between the hands pressed next to my head.

"I don't know, you're the genus here, not me."

Shikamaru lets out a long, deep sigh of annoyance, his eyes falling into their 'I look pissed but I'm thinking' look. His brows are pressed together, eyes set forward and slit. "Are your parents home?"

"No."

Silence falls between us again, Shika's eyebrows shifting as the gears in his head turn. "If I blindfold you are you going to lose your shit?"

"We're known as the Shadow Clan. I think I'll be okay with a little bit of darkness."

With that, Shika climbs off of me, his focus shifting through my dresser drawers. He stays silent when he finds my Shinobi band, carefully tying it around my eyes before whispering in my ear. "I'll be right back. Just chill."

I do as I'm told, relaxing in bed as I wait for him to return. It doesn't take long for his aura to fill my room again, my curiosity sparked by what he'll do. "What do you have planned, Mr Genus?"

"If I told you," he starts, the feeling of his breath sliding over my pussy startling me a bit. "It would ruin the plan, Miss I'm Getting Bored." My thighs are gripped, being tugged further apart. "Make sure you tell me if you're not good."

"I know, Shik."

"Just making sure," he mutters, brushing kisses against my thighs again. As the kisses roll around my skin, I'm slowly lulled, the gentleness of Shikamaru threatening to put me to sleep.

The sound of a click fills my senses with the feeling of heat licking at my thighs. "What the fuck, Shikamaru!" I yelp shoving his hand away.

"Is that a 'surprised' fuck or a 'I don't like that' fuck?" His voice is followed by soft clinking. The sound is followed by something chilled pressed to the spot previously accompanied by some kind of flame.

"Surprised fuck," I murmur, shivers running up my spine as the chilliness melts, dripping down my skin. It's an ice cube, isn't it? And the click and flame combo was Shika's lighter. What a smart but bored man.

"Mmm, good," he mutters, dropping the ice cub, making them clink against each other again. His tongue slides across my leg, lapping up the water left behind. "Is this exciting enough, Miss Bored?"

"Yes, Sir."

He hums again, climbing up my body. "Alright, you needy girl. I'm going to rest in you until you're worked up enough cause you're too much work."

"Lair, you just want to feel me pulse around you," I tease, my hands crawling down his body. Shikamaru has stripped since I've been blinded, sparking my excitement even more.

His necklace taps against my skin as he moves, the feeling of his lips mapping out his slow climb. "So what if I do? We're doing this because - "

"Hey, Sweetie? Are you home?" My mother's voice rings out, pulling a disappointed sigh from the both of us.

"You need to move out," he grumbles, tugging the headband off my eyes as he crawls off of me. "For now," he starts, mouth clinging to my throat, sucking on my skin as hard as he can. "We're going to greet your mom, excuse ourselves for lunch, and then we're going to continue our new game at my place," he finishes before sucking on the same spot, promising to leave a dark bruise on my neck.

"Shik," I whine, knotting my hands around his ponytail before I try to pull his lips off me. "You're going to leave a bruise."

"Ya, that's the point," he grumbles, his tone not matching the smile being pressed against my skin.

"So much for not being jealous," I tease, managing to pull Shikamaru off me, a loud pop following the loss of his suction.

———————————

"Nara-Chan!" Neji calls, waving at me as his squad and him walk towards our squad. "You look... good," he mutters, eyes jumping over me before he gives me a closed-eyed smile, a soft pink dusting his cheeks.

It's an open secret among our generation that Neji has started forming a bit of a crush on me. With the aftermath of the war, neither one of us has had the time to move the relationship past playful flirting. Though, hopefully, after this weekend that won't be the case anymore. The soft rumor of Neji asking me out filtering around helping that.

Every year, the twelve of us have taken a weekend away from the village to go do something other than work. It usually ends up being all of us camping near a river or lake and just spending the weekend relaxing. We're doing that again this year, hence picking out a swimsuit yesterday with Shika.

"Hey, Nej," I greet, returning his wave as he settles in front of me. "Are you excited for the trip?" He hums a yes, eyes not-so-secretly climbing my form again. His eyebrows scrunch when he gets further up my body, making me a bit concerned. Is there food or something on my shirt?

"Hello," Shikamaru's voice rings out as my eyes jump down, checking for a stain or leftover crumbs from the chips Choji and I shared. "What's up, Neji?" He asks, stopping next to me as he greets our friend. Shika's hand jumps up, tapping against my neck before his focus shifts back to the pleasantries Neji and him are sharing.

My eyes flutter towards a smug Shik, cockiness waving off of him. Why the hell was Neji looking at me so weird? Why did Shikamaru tap my neck?... oh.

Heat blooms across my face as I remember the dark hickey present on my neck. The very dark and very big bruise Shikamaru left behind yesterday.

"Anyway," Neji says, tugging me out of my thoughts and embarrassment. "Do you want to walk with me, Nara-Chan?"

"Yes," I rush out quickly, the heat on my face now from being flustered instead of embarrassed. "I... um... yes, I would like to walk with you," I correct, keeping my tone soft and even this time.

"Great," Neji says, sending me another smile. "I'm going to go greet the others. I'll come find you when we're ready to go, alright?"

"Alright," I murmur, smiling back at him. My eyes trail after Neji, watching him walk away to greet the rest of my squad and his cousin's squad that just showed up.

When my eyes shift back to Shikamaru, who's gloomy, arms crossed over his chest, and a glare shot toward Neji. I swear if he was any moodier a storm cloud would form over his head. "You're walking with Neji instead of me?" He groans, the heat of his glare still stuck on the other man.

"Ya. You're walking with Choji anyway. Why do you care?"

"I don't!" He snaps out, his anger pointed toward me instead of Neji. "Okay, maybe I do," he grumbles, eyes softening as he rolls them at me. "You're pretty blind, do you know that?"

"Why? Because I have more friends than just you?" I tease, laughing at his shocked face as I walk away to greet Shino's squad.

———————————

I nod along to the story Tenten is telling me, half paying attention as I look at the scenery. Most of the girls have switched to being carried, not because we're tired but because we're lazy and the guys all have a complex of wanting to be better than the others. So, Lee is carrying Tenten, Kiba is carrying Hinata, Shika is carrying Ino, and Neji is carrying me. Naruto offered to carry Sakura but that ended with him getting a bruise or two.

"So ya, I packed two swimsuits cause the guys are no help," Tenten grumbles, rolling her eyes before she playfully glares at Neji.

"If it makes you feel any better, Shikamaru wasn't much help picking out my swimsuit either," I tell her, the both of us giggling at the guys' incompetence. "I think you should go with the red one though. You always look good in red."

"Alright! Break time!" Shino's voice rings out, paired with a hand clap. The bug shinobi - like always - has declared himself in charge because he's 'older and wiser' than the rest of us. The real reason he's in charge is because Neji doesn't want to put up with Naruto and Shikamaru is too lazy to do it, but none of us are going to tell him that.

We all settle to the side of the path, a few of the guys decking into the forest for a pee break. "Are you ready to get down?" Neji asks, his head tilting backward to look at me.

"Ya, I should probably stretch my legs and give you a break," I answer, wiggling around on his back. He bends down a bit, shorting my jump off him. "Alright, Nej-man," I chirp, stretching myself out. "How much longer until we're to the spot?"

"I would say an hour. Maybe two depending on if we stop again or how many... issues Naruto has," He says, stressing the word 'issues' as his eyes bounce toward the blonde boy.

"That's not too bad," I mumble, sinking to the ground to sit under one of the trees. I rest my head against the bark of it, my eyes falling closed to give them a break from the sun.

"Nara-Chan?"

"Neji?" I hum, slowly opening my eyes again.

Since I've closed my eyes, Neji has pulled out a water bottle. The top off and wrapped up in his hand. "When was the last time you drank water?"

"Uh..." I murmur, having to take a second to figure out the answer. "I don't know. Before we left I think."

Neji lets out a disapproving hum, paired with an equally disapproving look. "We have been out in the sun and the heat all day. You need to be drinking water."

"It's fine. When I'm thirty I will. It's not that big of a deal."

"Yes, it is. Dehydration is a big deal and not something I want you to suffer with," he lectures, sinking to kneel in front of me. "Now, open your mouth Nara-Chan," Neji says, his hand resting under my chin, tipping my head up. Reluctantly I snap my mouth open, eyeing the barely older man. He tips his water bottle, water-falling the liquid into my mouth.

"See? Isn't that better?" He mutters, his eyes locked on my neck again as he sets the bottle down. Neji's eyes shift, locking in mine. When I try to break the staring contest, he uses his hold on my face to put it back in place. "I'm waiting for an answer."

"Oh... um, ya. That's better," I finally answer, my breathing suddenly feeling more labored. Thoughts that would turn Neji red flicker through my mind for a moment. I guess Lee wasn't lying when he said his friend was planning to focus on forming our relationship this weekend.

"Good, now please excuse me," Nej says, squeezing my face gently before dropping his hold on me. "I will be back," he mutters, packing his water bottle back in his bag before disappearing into the trees.

"What the hell was that?" Ino shrieks, her sudden presence next to startling me.

"I don't know," I answer, my voice pitched and mind running wild.

"I don't either. What I do know is that Shikamaru is pissed off again," she tells me, shrugging towards the small circle of Shika, Shino, and Kiba a couple of paces away.

Ino is right. Shikamaru's eyes are locked on me, sight intense as he stares at me, occasionally glances at the spot Neji disappeared from. His arms are crossed too, jaw locked, and the gears in his head turning again. I was kidding when I was poking fun at him for being jealous. I'm starting to think it's not a joke anymore.

Dear Lord, this weekend isn't going to play out smoothly, is it?

———————————————————————

#naruto shippuden #naruto shippuden oneshot #naruto shippuden x reader #naruto shippuden smut #shikamaru nara x reader #shikamaru nara oneshot #shikamaru x reader #shikamaru nara smut #shikamaru oneshot #shikamaru smut #shikamaru nara #neji hyuga oneshot #neji oneshot #neji hyuga x reader #neji x reader #neji hyuga

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acourtofinkandpapyrus · 1 year ago

Text

My Little Shadow: Part two (Azriel X Reader)

Warnings!: Abusive family, toxic relationship, arranged marriage.

Part one here: Part one

Part three

Thank you for all the people who like and re-blogged my last post! I couldn't believe so many people liked my story, so I worked hard to make sure I had the second part out today! Prepare for two shadowsingers to meet. As Y/N and Azriel meet again, is it the beginning of a friendship, or something more?

The past two weeks had been a nightmare, more so than usual.

After returning to my father’s home, he beat me senseless, afterward throwing me into my room and locking it from the outside.

No one had returned to even bring me food, although luckily I had saved some in a hidden spot for times just like this. I had thought that one day I would need to hide myself, my mother, or my sisters from his wrath.

I would have never imagined this scenario, but I probably should have.

I was his only daughter born before Amarantha’s reign. He had managed to keep us off her radar, but it had only helped so much. And then somewhere in there, he decided that he wanted another child. Seeing no end in sight to our stay under the mountain, he went for it.

Thinking about back then, about what I had done to keep my sisters safe, I clenched my hands, the old scars that ran up my back, legs, and arms hurting again.

I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, attempting to soothe me.

I smiled. There was one thing they could never take away.

After I had first learned how to speak with the shadows, I had discreetly done as much research as I possibly could. I knew that different shadows preferred different ways of presenting themselves, and had seen it myself.

But these shadows had followed me from that horrible cell under the mountain, becoming the only one I could trust. They take the form of a human woman, most likely one they had seen before who wouldn’t be using it anymore.

I couldn’t make out any facial features, and if they stood real still they looked like nothing more than my shadow, but if you looked closely, you might notice how it seems darker than it should, and that when you look at them from a certain angle you noticed that sometimes they were not flat against the wall, but their own entity entirely.

They helped me stay sane under the mountain, and now they were doing the same again as I wondered what would happen when my bedroom door finally opened.

I rested my head against the wall, the chill soothing my stressed mind.

After only a moment of this, I heard my door make a resounding click as someone unlocked it.

I whipped around, standing straight with my arms behind my back, back to being the respectful daughter.

I knew my shadows had gone back to hiding, still nearby in case anything was required of them.

My father opened the door, his clothes and hair more regal and pristine than usual.

“Get yourself dressed, we have an event to attend to.” He said unemotionally, walking away and leaving the door wide open.

Dread pooled in my stomach. Whatever this was, I already knew it wasn’t going to be good.

I put on one of my more plain dresses, hoping to attract as little attention as possible. I stalled for time, taking as long as possible to do my hair.

Maybe I could attempt to stay with one of my friends until Draven gave up on this whole arranged marriage thing. Though I had no clue which of them would sell me out for the most measly of rewards. Maybe all of them would.

Eventually, I could stall no more, my father in the doorway, watching me with dark beady eyes.

“Do I have my sweet little girl back, or am I to have to deal with this ungrateful little thing that’s taken her place?” He asked, placing his hands on my shoulders as he peered into the mirror, looking me in the eye.

I swallowed the hatred that bubbled up, the urge to take the delicate handle of my hair brush and plunge it deep into his chest. I met his eyes, letting none of that show as I spoke meekly, “I’m sorry for my previous outburst father, I promise never to speak to you like that again.”

He lifted a hand to stroke my hair, his expression almost sweet as he smiled, speaking low, “Good, I love you my darling girl. You are making me proud, and helping all of us. Never forget that.”

I forced myself not to shiver as he kissed my head before leaving the room.

Getting up to follow him, I took a few calming breaths, stealing myself for whatever may come.

After surviving years under the mountain, this should be nothing. But sometimes it felt as if I had more freedom then, than I ever will again.

Everyone was gathered in the main room, waiting for me.

None of them spoke a word to me as my father opened the door, and we all followed him out.

I had three younger sisters, and to my father’s disappointment, no brothers. My sisters crowded around me, offering silent comfort, my mother walking at my fathers side.

Was that what my life was going to look like after the marriage? Living a life in silent fear, with no hope of a better future as I was forced to watch my own children be sold away.

I started to feel sick again.

We eventually stopped in a hall and I recognised the rest of the way, leading the way to the living quarters of Keir.

“All of you stay here, and talk to no one.” My father instructed as he straightened the lapel of his jacket.

He looked at me, and I lowered my head as he spoke, “When I call for you, you will behave like the lady you are. Or there will be consequences. Understood?”

I nodded, not meeting his stare.

He made a smug noise before turning and walking the rest of the way down the hall. Keir opened the door after one knock, ushering him in quickly.

We stood there in silence for another moment before I felt a hand grasp mine. “It’ll be okay.”

I looked down to see my youngest sister grabbing my hand. She was too young to understand the difference between this place and Under the Mountain.

I gave her a little smile, placing a reassuring hand on her head. “Of course it’ll be alright. It may seem scary now, but remember what we always say-”

We both spoke at the same time, “Nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together.”

She looked up at me, her eyes wet with the beginning of tears. “But we aren’t going to be together.”

I knew that if my father saw, he would scold me, but I pulled her close into a tight embrace. “It’ll be alright darling, nothing can come between sisters.”

I let her go, quickly smoothing out my dress.

Feeling eyes on me, I looked up to see my mother quickly looking away.

I knew this wasn’t the life she had wanted either. She used to tell me stories of her family, who hadn’t lived in Hewn City but had been just as cruel. They had sold her to my father, just as he was now going to sell me.

Keir’s door opened, and my father poked his head out beckoning me in.

I obediently came to him, and he pulled me inside, shutting the door quickly behind us.

Keir’s taste in decor was awful. Everything had edges sharp enough to draw blood and there was almost no color in anything. It had a somewhat normal sitting situation, but what intrigued me was the painting that hung in the middle of the room, the subject of the portate being solidly him, with all of his family except his daughter sitting around him.

I swear I could see where she had been painted out.

“So this is the daughter you wish to wed to Draven?” Kier asked from the large chair he was lounging in, a disgusting smile on his face as he studied me.

Don’t react, don’t show what you think.

“Yes, say hi Y/N.”

“Hello.” I said meekly, not looking either of them in the eye.

I heard the floor creak, not realizing Keir had gotten up until he was tugging my chin upwards, forcing me to look him in the eyes.

“Hmmmm.” He hummed as he studied my bruised face before letting me go.

“I heard about her little outburst earlier this month. If anyone will be able to tame her, it will be Draven. You have my approval.”

My stomach churned, and I wanted to scream, not hearing the self satisfied words they were passing back and forth now that my fate had been sealed.

I only came back to reality when my father placed a hand on my shoulder. “Did you hear me Y/N? I said it’s time to go.”

I bowed my head, following him out and back to my family.

Apparently, my house arrest was over, because once we made it back to one of the more public halls, he announced he would be at home celebrating if anyone needed him or my mother, dragging her off.

Two of my sisters were quick to rush off, but My youngest sister, Stella, stayed by my side as my eyes unfocused, unable to breathe as the panic struck me in full force.

Stella hugged me, and I wrapped my arms around her tightly, breathing in her scent of sugar, dust, and warmth, knowing that soon I would never see her again except in passing.

“You should go hang out with your friends.” I managed to say once I calmed down enough.

Her eyes were wide as she pulled back, studying my face.

I forced myself to smile as I ruffled her hair, saying in a falsely cheery tone, “Hey! Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’ma figure out how to fix all of this, okay?”

She nodded slowly, and I planted a quick peck on her forehead. “Now go! I’ll be fine.”

I waited until her scent had completely aired out before I let the tears fall, quietly sobbing as I realized that this was the end of my life.

For a little while, the only sound was my gasping sobs until I heard footsteps in the distance.

I covered my mouth, quieting myself even father as I listened.

My shadow companion manifested next to me, obviously noticing the steps as well.

I pondered on whether I should leave, I had already gotten myself in enough trouble, and I dreaded to think about the consequences if I was once again caught doing something my father would punish me for.

But something about the saltwater, baked goods, and dark male scent struck something in me. I knew it from somewhere, but for some reason I couldn’t place from where.

I once again looked to my shadows.

There was something we had learned to do. I wasn’t sure if it had never been documented, or if we were the first to be able to do this little trick, but I had never found anything about it.

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I could see the world through a dark mist.

My shadows and I could become one in a way, turning me into a shadowy figure that could hide at will.

I could feel the shadows concern for me, and I sighed. “I’ll be fine, don’t be so fussy” I whispered right before I stretched my head around the corner, my breath catching as I saw who stood there.

Azriel.

I watched him, standing there with something like rage on his features as he paced back and forth, his shadows curling around his ear.

I could feel my shadows' curiosity. They loved interacting with shadows from different places, learning the stories they held of other lands.

Sometimes I wondered if they wanted out of this place even more than I did.

As I thought about this I wasn’t watching the Illerian male. And so didn’t notice when he spotted me until he spoke.

“Hello there.”

I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard him speak, preparing to turn and run when one of his shadows reached me, tugging me into full view.

Luckily with my shadows and I being one, I would only look like a stark shadow.

“Who are you?” He asked, not necessarily angry as he approached me, his shadows loosening their grip on my waist.

“Does it matter?” I asked, my voice silkier in this form than normal.

He smirked. “It does if you were spying on me.” He said, and I saw the blue siphons on his armor glow threateningly.

This is normally where I would apologize, play nice until they realized I was no threat.

But he didn’t know who I was, and I was already boiling over with rage.

“If I wanted to spy on you, I wouldn’t have been caught.” I say as I take a step through his shadows, his expression flickered to one of shock for just a millisecond before turning back into stone.

“Then what were you doing here?” He asked, his head tilting as he looked down at me.

I grinned, looking up at him. “Well, I was minding my own business when I heard some footsteps. Really, I should be asking you what you’re doing here.”

His lips twitched upwards as he looked down at me. “I’m waiting for someone to come meet me, but now I’m wondering if I should reschedule.”

My heart started to beat faster with the way he stared down at me, his gaze intense. “And why is that?”

He grinned now. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a shadow quite like you.”

I was trying to think of some response that wasn’t just embarrassed babbling when we both heard footsteps coming closer.

Without a moment's hesitation I turned and ran. He called out after me, but I ignored it, knowing better than to stay around and see who was coming.

Eventually when I was closer to home, I let my shadows unwind, taking their own form again.

“Thank you.” I whispered to them, and I could feel their happiness.

Meanwhile, I was once again spiraling, but for none of the same reasons as before.

What had I been thinking, taunting the high lord’s spymaster like that? There were so many bad things that could happen. What if he found out that I wasn’t just some shadow? What if he found out who I was and told my father?

I took a deep calming breath.

He didn’t know who I was, and so there was nothing that he could do to me.

More confident, and something else than my impending doom to think about, I went home.

As I opened the door, my father cheered, “She’s back! My precious daughter who is going to be our salvation.”

My mother was sitting in his lap, and I quickly looked away as I headed for my room.

“Oh, and sweetheart,” My father said, drawing my attention back to him as he continued, “The date is set, in a little over a month you’ll be married!”

He laughed, happy as could be as he nuzzled my mother’s neck.

I felt sick. About how soon I would lose my last scraps of freedom, how even though I could see the well hidden disgust on my mother’s face, she let him touch her, his hands gripping her hips so tight it must be painful.

As I went into my room and closed and locked the door, I couldn’t help but hope I would run into Azriel again, despite the risks.

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froggy-demon · 9 months ago

Text

Oh, Deer - Part Two

A/N: This is part two to my Alastor x OC slowburn story, I hope you enjoy <3

Chapter Summery: Lilly gets settled at the hotel and a stressful day of work leads her to getting a little closer to one particular staff member.

Part Three

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I woke up to my morning alarm blaring at me, shit I didn’t even think about how long it will take to get from here to work, fucking fantastic. And I have none of my clothes, also fantastic. I book it out the door and head to my old apartment. I grab a book bag I had laying around and stuff as much of my shit in it as I can fit, the less trips back and forth I can make while moving, the better. I change into an outfit for work, a pinstriped mini skirt and a turtleneck blouse with puffy sleeves with my trademark tights and kitten heel Maryjanes, throwing my backpack over my shoulder and getting to work as fast as possible. All in all, I was only 10 minutes late which is a fucking miracle if I’ve ever heard one. I busy myself by checking in with the other assistants and sorting out who is covering what assignments and shows today. Velvette slams open the studio door and is already looking pissed off, the day just started how can it already be going to shit? That question answered itself as behind her trailed in Valentino talking her ear off, switching between whining and yelling.

“Valentino it is time for at least one of us to actually do our jobs, fuck off already and find someone else to bitch to!” She yells at him and stomps off. This pushes him over the edge, he grabs a passing by assistant and snaps her in half, like it’s nothing. I duck my head down and find a way to be very busy and as unnoticeable as possible, hiding behind my clipboard as much as I can.

“No you fuck off Velvette! Tell me what the fuck I can do one more fucking time! Try to run anything once I’m done with you precious shitty studio!” He threw the couch he had trapped that studio aid on just the other day against the wall and it smashed into a hundred pieces. He reached for a fleeing model and ripped her head off, damn and she wasn’t even an annoying model. He rampaged through the room and Velvette just ignored him and stomped my way.

I straightened my back as she approached and tried to not seem bothered by the 10ft lunatic killing my coworkers and ripping apart anything else in his reach. “We are not getting off schedule, get my designers so we can keep our shit on the air! Get them here in the next five minutes while I get fucking Piss Baby out of here.” She Barked and I nodded

“Yes Ma’am.” She seemed pleased enough and walked off to order around anyone else still breathing. I used my ear piece to try to locate the desired designers, keeping my back to the scene behind me.

“Designers, if most of your limbs are still attached, your presence is requited by Ms. Velvette immediately, bring what you have been working on for her and try not to be killed on your way.” I received 4 affirmatives and glanced back to see Velvette on her phone to presumably Vox. Thank Satan, this was definitely a big guns problem. I looked around at a few cowering workers near me and smoothed out my clothes. “C’mon, get this place straightened up. It’s a fucking mess in here, get a broom and a mop, now.” The three jumped up, though a bit reluctantly, and went in search for the cleaning supplies. I saw Velvette manage to force Valentino out the studio door and lock it behind him, hopefully keeping him out. I saw two of the designers come in and waved them over, having them stand up on a small platform that wasn’t totally wrecked and Velvette made her way over.

She was clearly still not happy, but at least wasn’t getting worse. Vox appeared next to her with a cheeky smile plastered onto his plasma face, contrasting her fiery attitude. I thought I saw him give me a small scowl, but I've never spoken to Vox, it couldn't be personal. He asked her where Valentino had gone and was back on his way.

The day continued with far fewer bumps, minus the power outage caused by Vox's tantrum. Valentino stayed away so I guess Vox was able to calm him down well enough and Velvette stayed at a manageable level of pissed off until the outtage.

“Fucking hell! Fine fuck him, everyone go the fuck home!” She screeched and no one was waiting to confirm that order. I grabbed my bag and booked it out of the building and back to the hotel. Alastor’s broadcast was all I could hear people talking about, though they kept it hushed so close to the Vs. Losing was not something they, especially Vox, liked. When I walked through the door I was surprised to find a new face in the parlor. He was a snake demon and Charlie was excitedly chatting with him while Vaggie stood to the side looking apprehensive.

“Here she is!” Charlie exclaimed turning to me, smiling ear to ear. “Lilly! This is Sir. Pentious, he is our next guest at the hotel!” She motioned for us to shake hands, which I obliged. He seemed nervous, but still gave a small smile.

“Ah, Lilly, it isss quite nice to meet another future redemption-ee!” He said and I tried to return his smile.

“Lilly he blew up the hotel this morning.” Angel added dryly, I stopped smiling and looked at Charlie confused. Angel clearly wasn’t buying whatever the serpent was telling Charlie.

“He said he is sorry! That’s what we’re all about, second chances!” She defended and really tried to sell it. I looked between her and Sir. Pentious, a little skeptical myself honestly.

“If you are confident, I will trust your judgement.” I stated and turned to Angel, who filled me in on all of the details on the fight that had taken place that morning while Charlie taught Sir. Pentious how to apologize to Alastor. Geez, you go in for one shift and miss everything!

“Say, Dear, how did my little show go over at Vs HQ?” Alastor asked, appearing behind me and giving me a bit of a fright. He sounded particularly staticy. Angel rolled his eyes at his theatrics. I turned to face the demon and met his glowing eyes for a moment before looking back at Angel.

“I couldn’t say for sure, but I’d say not well. Vox particularly was still glitching and zapping about when Velvette dismissed us after the power shut down. We couldn’t do anything with him fucking up all of the tech.” I said and he laughed, clearly pleased with himself and patted my head. Angel was deeply distracted by his phone, someone was texting him quite a lot, every few seconds his phone would buzz with a new notification.

“Wonderful to hear! I’m glad I got my message across.” His eyes glowed a bit brighter, clearly there was some contempt held for Vox, and it went both ways. Seeing him like that sent a little zap of fear through me. I know what he’s done to those he doesn’t like to get what he wants, but he chooses to be so hands off with it this time? Maybe he just wanted to give a fair warning, I don’t know, but I do not want to get in the middle of it. “Speaking of your work,” He moved to stand between me and Angel now. “Why not find some new employment now that your housing is supplied? Something less television based maybe?” He eyed me, as though he suspected me of something. I tried to look past him to Angel again, but he blocked my vision, seemingly growing a little taller, a little more menacing.

“Well, as much as I’d like to,” I said a tad nervous of the overlord in front of me “I can’t. Velvette owns me, my soul that is. As a day job it isn’t too bad at least.” I mumble the last sentence and Alastor raises an eyebrow at me. Angel is still preoccupied, but I see him throw a look my way when I mention my deal.

“Deals aren’t usually Velvette’s style, she typically prefers to leave that work to the boys, how unfortunate for you then.” He says, returning to his normal chipper self and walks off. As he disappears I finally take stock of myself, I look like shit. There is dried blood on my shoes and spots of guts dotting my outfit for the Valentino’s carnage earlier, gross.

“Angel, I’m going to take a shower and unpack a little you know where to find me if you need anything okay?” He doesn’t look up, clearly in a mood, sitting down on a nearby chair and crossing his legs over the arm and mumbles out an okay. I make my way upstairs, to my room, and then turn on the hot water for the shower attached to my room. After peeling off my clothes it felt good to let the hot water wash over me. The water pressure was better here too. A little refresh is really what I needed after today. Once I felt better I rummaged through my bag until I found my pjs, a pair of little shorts and an oversized t-shirt VTech gave out during some marketing campaign, it was at least comfortable. I started to unpack more and realized Niffty must have been here earlier because there was significantly less dust everywhere and my bed spread seemed freshly laundered. I will have to thank her the next time I see her. Just as I’m finishing up I hear some kind of commotion coming from somewhere in the hotel, what the fuck was that? I poke my head out and hear more noise, like someone is fighting, is that Angel Dust? I run down to the noise and meet Charlie and Vaggie walking up to the same disturbance.

Angel says that Sir. Pentious is working for the Vs, but I can smell the liquor on him from here, and the snake denies the accusation. Angel rolls his eyes and points out the video camera hidden between two books on the shelf, causing Sir. Pentious to panic. He screams into his watch to help him as Vaggie face palms and it's my turn to roll my eyes. Not only is he a spy, he’s an absolutely terrible one at that. I can hear Vox laughing at him though the watch, but Charlie has big doe eyes. He begs for a quick murder, but Charlie welcomes him in with open arms, despite protests from the three of us. After a set of profuse apologies, we head back to bed.

Angel has his arms crossed, the whole walk. I want to say something, but he has been in a bad mood all day and I don’t want to accidentally make it worse. “Angel, y'know I-“ but he waves me off.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Work shit, and we said work shit stays at fucking work.” He snaps, but sighs and I know he isn’t mad at me, just someone else. My guess, Val. I wonder if that’s what Valentino was raging about this morning, I hope for Angel’s sake it’s not. He slams the door to his room and I turn towards mine, just to be greeted by Alastor, he sure does have a knack for popping up.

“Take off your shirt, Dear.” He glares at it, taking me back. This is a tone shift.

“Excuse me?” I ask, taking a step back, not there there is really anywhere to go if you want to run from a shadow walking overlord at night.

“Well, I’m going to burn it and I just figured you would want it off your body before I do that, but if you prefer,” Alaster smirked and lit a small fireball in his hand “you can keep it on!” He was very serious, I look back down at my shirt, I guess I set myself up for this one wearing a shirt with Vox’s face plastered on it, but hey it was a free shirt. I yanked it off and Alastor took two big steps towards me and took it from my hands, his eyes glowed devilishly as he set it on fire and watched Vox’s face burn away while he grinned ear to ear. “Much better! I appreciate your cooperation, however,” he bent down to my height and made me look him in the eyes. His voice grew more staticy as he said “I better not see anything else with his face on it here.”

I nodded, it was all I could manage, I felt frozen in place and suddenly self-conscious as I realized I was in my bra and shorts in front of a murderous overlord, not exactly confidence inspiring for me. He stood back up straight and spun his cane, pleased with himself. “Very well, Goodnight!” He sang and I didn’t wait before quickly going into my room. Great, now I need a new sleep shirt, that will be a tomorrow night problem. I got into bed and curled up. I’m not doing amazing at staying off Alastor’s bad side, maybe tomorrow I will break that streak.

The next morning I joined everyone else in the parlor downstairs, I had some time for once before I was needed at work. Charlie excitedly explained that we were doing some bonding activities as a group today, that it would help if we all trusted and got to know each other. I wanted to check in on Angel, but he was still hung up on his phone. Okay, so I’m going to have to make a second friend, it can’t be that hard can it? What do I have to work with?

Niffty is a little… crazy… maybe not my first choice. Let’s see Sir. Pentious is eager, but do I have anything at all in common with him? Let’s see he likes building things? Nope. He likes being a leader, of his egg boys at least, uh in the right light sometimes you could kinda say I like bossing people around. I think that’s everything I’ve learned about him though, and I’m not really someone who goes out looking for a fight anymore, even if Cherri wants me to. Vaggie is a little too focused on Charlie I think to start worrying about anyone else, I can’t blame her, as sweet as Charlie is she is also a handful. I think Alastor is waiting for me to sneeze wrong to justify breaking my neck and is no where to be seen sooooo… my new friend is going to have to be Husk! The only hard part about that is he doesn’t really ever want to participate in our activities. I can work with that though.

I take a seat next to Husk for activity time and give him a small smile. I haven’t really gotten what his deal is from Angel yet, maybe he just acts tough. “So, Husk, what brings you to the hotel? You don’t really seem like you’re here for redemption to me.” I ask trying to sound cheery. He just rolls his eyes at me though.

“My job.” He huffs out, motioning over to the bar. Okay smartass. I fold my arms and lean forward towards him.

“And out of all the bars in hell, why work at this one? Don’t tell me its for the dental insurance.” I quipped and he almost smiles. He leans back in his chair and looks across the room at nothing in particular.

“Alastor, he tells me to go so I go.” He finally says. Ah, could Alastor really own his soul? I won’t press for now. Satisfied with the answer I sit back in my seat and he slumps down more in his, but then my phone rings. Velvette, why is Velvette calling me? I don’t hear from her that much seeing as I never have a day off anyway, not even extermination days. I hop up out of my seat so not to bother anyone and answer the phone.

“Yes Ma’am?” I answer, stepping out of the room. She shouts that she needs me immediately, one of the models didn’t show up today and now she needs extra hands on deck and I better be there immediately. I try not to let her hear me sigh or sound disappointed. I guess I did get to sleep a couple extra hours which is more than enough to be grateful for. “Yes Ma’am.” I reply and she stresses I better hurry or I’ll be costuming for Valentino’s sets for the next year and she hangs up. I walked back in and the group looks up at me waiting for my explanation. “Okay guys, sorry to cut the team building short, but I’m needed at work sooner than expected, sorry Charlie.” Charlie looked disappointed.

“Oh.. so when do you have a day you don’t work anyway?” She asks. “We’ll just catch you up then!” She beams at her great idea. Angel chuckles, Cherri probably has told him before if he knows my situation.

“I don’t get any days off, sometimes I only work 10 hour days though!” I tried to make that sound like a good thing and gave her a thumbs up, but Charlie frowned again.

“Well that’s not good, you’ll never have any time for our activities then!” She protested and started pacing. “Can’t you just say you need a day off for something important?” She looked at me with those big doe and and I shook my head, crossing my arms.

“Some of us have jobs, dollface, contracts.” Angel points out dryly. He finally looks up from his phone to give Charlie a pointed look. It must be nice to be her.

“There are no days off for me, if Velvette says come in I can’t say no. It’s just the way it is. Now she’s waiting for me, I have to get going.” I slip on my shoes and head for the door leaving a protesting princess behind.

I get there as quickly as possible and as soon as I walk through the door Velvette is tapping her foot waiting for me. She looks as pissed as usual, but it isn’t usually my direct fault that she’s pissed off.

“Now, I happen to know that your apartment is all of five fucking minutes away so how the fuck did that take 25 minutes today?” She demands. Since when has she even known where I live? I straighten my back, I am not used to talking back to her, usually we even work pretty well together. “Well, spit out whatever pathetic excuse you have and get to begging for forgiveness! Some of us have important shit to be doing!” An assistant walked up to her and they quietly conversed while he showed her a different selection of blouses.

“I moved Ma’am.” I stated, adverting my eyes. She snapped her head away from her conversation to look at me again.

“Well who the fuck told you to do something stupid like that? I need you near here for when I call you, fucking move back.” She said it like it doesn’t matter where I live or what I think if it doesn't serve her needs. She might own my soul, but that is not our deal.

“Ma’am, with all the respect in hell, I cannot do that.” I stayed cool, that’s good. She walked over to me, until she was less than a foot away from my face. Her red eyes glowing and piercing into mine.

“The fuck you will. As fucking kind as I am to you every fucking day, whose dick you’re riding just to crash in their shitty bed anyway?” She snapped at me, glaring at me while waiting for my answer.

I took a deep breath. “Charlie Morningstar, Ma’am, well her hotel that is.” I added, looking down. Velvette was seething in front of me. She grabbed me and threw me to the ground. I hit my head hard on the stone floor, because exactly what I need is another head injury.

“Don’t give me that kind of bullshit ever again. Remember who you are speaking to.” She spoke through gritted teeth. She materialized the link between us, the chain attaching me to her, our deal. I knew exactly what I signed, but she was right. I should have held my tongue. She used it to pull me to my feet in front of her. “Now get to fucking work.” She spat and let me go. I stayed on my feet and smoothed my outfit and hair, composing myself for the coming day.

“Yes Ma’am.” I kept my eyes on the floor as she rolled her eyes.

“Good, now get Kelly Killjoy’s suit options ready, it’s almost time for her to be on air, then come back to me.” And then she waved me away and I was happy to be able to walk away. I did as I was ordered, bringing the approved wardrobe to the news host's dressing room for her to pick from once ready. I raced back to the studio room to see what was next and Velvette sneared at me when she saw me. "Perfect, the seamstresses need a pin cushion, go be that until they are done with their projects.” And she turned away from me again. A pin cushion, this was going to be a long day.

Twenty hours later I am still in the studio, but I have finished every task I’ve been given, skillfully I might add. Well, as skillfully as one can be a pin cushion, mannequin mover, and general studio bitch without a single moment to sit or even pee. I was back in front of Velvette awaiting her next order. She looked at me and shook her head.

“Morning, cunt. Your outfit is hideous and you look more terrible than usual.” She said and zapped me into a new outfit, honestly the highlight of my day to have on something fresh, but really it was just a toned down version of her own outfit, but is all grey. Of course she would think her outfit was better. “Now perk the fuck up, I need you to set up the lights for the shoot we’re doing for my fabulous new clothing line today! And set up all the looks we created for it. Make sure those fucking models look right too, I can’t stand shitty sloppy work.” She said and I nodded, hoping it will be easy to learn how to set up studio lights.

“Yes Ma’am.”

After falling off a ladder more than once setting up the lights, organizing all of the set groups of items for the photo shoot, and labeling them, and then adjusting every single item on the models throughout the 10 hour shoot, I was ready to beg for Velvette’s forgiveness. I hadn’t had a drop of rest or caffeine in nearly two full days.

Finally I was told to go home, but to be back tomorrow bright and early with a smile on my face. I don’t know what pissed Velvette off so badly in the first place that she felt the need to take it out on me, but maybe tomorrow will be different, unlikely, but maybe. I walked into the hotel and went straight to the bar, come to think of it that might be one of the best parts about living here. I slumped onto a stool putting my head down on the bar. Husk raised an eyebrow at me while he was organizing his bottles.

“I wasn’t sure if you were coming back when no one saw you last night, where ya been?” He asked, he didn’t sound concerned, but he did sound curious. I picked my head up and propped myself up on my elbows.

“Work. I’ve been at work since I left. Someone pissed off Velvette and that became my personal problem.” I muttered. I took a deep breath, I don’t need to bitch about my shitty day though that won’t have made it any better. No, I wanted a boost, I should go out I want to feel good about myself. I don’t want Velvette to be able to dictate my mood like this.

“My, my, someone looks a little worked over,” Alastor sang as he walked up. “Did someone mistake you for a pin cushion?” He asked lifting my arm to inspect the hundreds of tiny and sore pricks in my skin. I pulled my arm away from him, trying not to humor him.

“Hello to you too, Sir.” I said, holding back my irritation. I look at husk and he poured me a drink, I give him the best smile I could muster when he placed it in front of me. Alastor took the seat next to me, crossing one leg over the other and giving me his signature smile. I took a sip and let the warm feeling wash over me.

“Tell me, is television work loosing its charm? Such superficial work after all, but maybe that’s how you prefer it, dear.” He laughed at his own joke and tapped his cane on the ground. I drank more of the mixed drink Husk had made me, but it didn’t cool me off as much as I needed it too. I gave him another look and he went to pour me another but I looked up at him and motioned to just give me the bottle.

“Aye, take it easy kid.” He said, but still handed it over. I took three big gulps and set it down.

“Alastor, I’m not in the mood for your insults and condescension, I think I’ve had more than enough of those today.” I said dryly and took another drink. He looked at his nails, as if he didn’t have a care in the world, enjoying getting a rise out of me.

“Oh, but I’m positive they haven’t been as witty as mine will be! Humor me won’t you? It’s been so boring today.” He leaned towards me, it was another request that didn’t really sound like a request. I couldn’t push back against Velvette, but I could with Alastor, maybe. I finished the bottle for some confidence and got out of my seat.

"No." I told him flatly, that should have been enough to get him off my back, but not Alastor.

"come now, don't tell me the big bad overlords you've worked for for years just now broke your spirit! Where's your moxie dear?" the demon quipped, leaning an elbow on the bar. I could feel my misplaced anger building, but shit he didn't have to be such a prick when I clearly was in a bad mood. I can't have five fucking minutes of peace?

“I told you, fuck off!” And stomped out the door, throwing aside the now empty bottle.

Fucking Radio Demon, fucking Velvette! I’m more than that, I’m not just someone to shove around. I don’t have to take that, not when I’m not at work. She might be able to give me as much shit as she wants, hell she could actually assign me to fuck ass Valentino’s porno costuming I wouldn’t even care, but I will not go home and have some other demon make me feel like shit too. I’m worth something!

I look up from the sidewalk that I’ve been so concentrated on and realize I don’t really have anywhere to go, I’m tired of bars and clubs, but hell maybe it'll make me feel like a person again anyway. Maybe someone will talk to me like I’m just a fucking person. So at the next neon sign I see advertising a drink I walk in and order and get just that. It doesn’t take long, it never does in hell, until someone starts talking me up, buying me a drink, then another, and another, and then says we should get out of here. He's good looking for a demon, tall and thin with blood red hair and long black horns twisting out of it like a ram's. I agree. I follow him outside and he starts taking me down an odd way, its quiet and dark here, but maybe he lives on a quiet street in hell, what do I know. Then he turns around, smiling, and holding a handgun. It takes a moment to register. He closes the distant between us.

“What are you doing?” I ask, he laughs and grabs my arm. I’m not stable enough to avoid it and he pushes me up against the alleyway wall and points the gun at my chest.

“I’m robbing you, dipshit, cough up whatever you have on you. I know someone dressed as pretty as you has a couple of bucks to spare right?” He sneers and shifts the barrel to under my chin. The only problem was I really didn’t have anything else. I had maybe a single dollar on me after buying that first drink and I don’t think that’s what he wanted to hear.

Then all the sudden he was off of me, I fell a little and caught my breath which I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. What the fuck was that? I looked around and saw a familiar pair of eyes walking out of the darkness, blazing red. Shadow tentacles were holding up the attempted robber as Alastor emerged from the darkness, how is Alastor here? He was taller than his normal stature, and had a sinister smile, antlers protruding from his hair. This is the demon I’d heard on the broadcast those years ago, he had bloodlust in his eyes.

“I don’t think so.” His voice was thick and distorted cutting up the still night, I could feel the energy pouring off of him. I didn’t know if I should stay where I was or get the fuck away from there at this point, but my legs felt too heavy to run very far. I looked up at him with wide eyes, it was like a car accident I didn’t want to watch him rip this demon in half, but I also couldn’t look away. He laughed maniacally as the sinner he held begged for forgiveness and his life. The Radio Demon drew him closer “Is that anyway to treat a lady?” Static filled the air and there was ringing in my ears, it felt like it was pounding in my head to the point that it was difficult to keep looking up. Alastor met my eye for one brief moment and then, unexpectedly, threw the creature across the city rather than ripping him in half. His piercing eyes didn’t change as he began to return to his normal self as he walked toward me having eliminated the threat. The static softened and I felt a weight leave my chest. “Terribly sorry for the fright! Charlie sent me to make sure you came back to the hotel in one piece tonight, I didn’t expect to find you in so much trouble.” He put an arm around me for support, but I shook it off. As uneasy as I felt I’m not sure if he was the one I should take it from.

“I wasn’t expecting any help, especially from you.” It came out as a statement of near disbelief, but I was still angry. Recovering from the personality whiplash Alastor had given me I took a few steps away towards the entrance of the alley. How am I supposed to see that and then trust him? “I can handle myself.” My knees wobbled and I leaned my palm on the wall again for support.

“Clearly.” He said sarcastically and smoothed his hair back where his antlers had disrupted it. “You sure did seemed to have a handle on that one! Next time I’ll just let it run its course, how’s that sound?” He adjusted his tie and grinned. More of his bullshit. I took another step back, I was certainly afraid of the power I’d just witnessed, but looking at him now he was just another demon.

“Whatever, I don’t need to take this bullshit, you can’t just talk to me like that because you’re used to being scary, I get enough of this every other hour of my day. Maybe you can treat Husk however you want because you own his ass, or other people are just too scared to say shit, but I’m exhausted! I’m too tired to bite my tongue and,” I was running out of steam, and those burning red eyes were still bearing into mine “it seems I’ll never get out of that cycle.” I slid down the wall to my side and held my knees to my chest. “I just, I’m tired of filtering myself to fit the situation I’m in. Just to please someone who can’t even tell the difference anyway. Putting up the right front to help maintain her goddamn brand. I can't do it with you too.” I sighed. How disgusting. Here I am shouting at someone who would love to rip my head off my body, just because my boss is shitty and unappreciative, and now I’m pitying myself for it on the ground of a filthy alleyway. This might just be my rock bottom.

Alastor quietly walked to my side and placed a hand on my shoulder, sending a jolt through me. “If it’s any help, I’m condescending to everyone!” It was so stupid, so fucking stupid I had to let out a laugh. Geez, at least it isn’t personal I guess. I ran a hand through my hair, looking at my shoes in the dim light. “What was Charlie’s first lesson? Apologies.” I looked at him funny, his red hair nearly looked all black in this lighting, did he want an apology from me? He’s as crazy as Niffty if he thinks that’s happening. I picked at the ground next to my shoe to occupy myself. “Charlie also wanted me to apologize, I didn’t really mean to offend you. While I do find joy in watching the misery of sinners around me, on the other hand I am here to help Charlie and I can’t do that if I’m sending one of her guests spiraling now can I?” He offered me a hand up and I just stared at it for a second. “I’m sorry, Lilly.” He sounded as sincere as I’d ever heard him, which granted was likely a front to save face anyway, but I pushed my pride aside and took his hand, standing back up. It felt good to get that rant out of my system and it maybe even felt a little good to get an apology. I brushed the grime off of my skirt as best as I could, looking back at Alastor. He looked happy with his pep talk, but he kind of always had that demeanor so it’s hard to say.

“Thank you Alastor.” Was all I managed to say. Pleased, he hooked our arms and pointed us in the direction of the hotel. We were quiet for a minute, I knew it was my turn to say something more, but I couldn’t figure out what was right. I kept dwelling on how he looked back in the alley, how the energy he put off felt all the way down to my bones. Even now it made my skin crawl, I’m quite glad to have made it onto his team I suppose because I would not want to be on the receiving end of that fury. “Why do you want to help Charlie?” I said it as soon as I thought it, but it brought me back to earlier. Husk is here because Alastor is here, but why the hell is Alastor here?

“A good question! It’s really very simple, I think Charlie will succeed and I like to be on the winning team. Plus,” He looked at me with a wicked look in his eyes, “If I’m wrong I’m no worse off and I get to watch everyone else suffer!” And began laughing. Not very comforting, but does make sense. Still I have a feeling Alastor is a few steps ahead in whatever plan he is hatching than he is willing to share. I wonder what else he was working up in his head, he’s difficult to read that’s for sure. The only actual emotions I’m sure he experiences are joy and anger. “If we’re asking intrusive questions now, I must say it’s been plaguing my mind, what exactly do you get out of your deal with Velvette?” He smirked, “Don’t tell me it’s for the dental insurance.” He mocked me, is there anything that happens in that hotel he doesn’t know about?

“You mean besides a boss who won’t fire or fuck me? Well,” I chewed my lip for a moment. I always felt ashamed of my deal, how ironic as I landed myself in hell for the vice of pride in life. “You know it’s not easy starting out down here, one day I met Velvette and she, well she made it look easy.” In life I was the secretary to a man who ran a fashion magazine, I was so enthralled by his work I thought every piece that crossed his desk was genius. I fantasized about what I would design if I was able to. “When Velvette told me what she was doing down here I wanted in, hell a bit of me wanted to be like her, she told me there was only one way I could be on her team, but her success would be my success too and really I didn’t see any other opportunities coming my way. I was naïve and she was happy to take advantage of that. Don’t they all kinda go like that though?” I laughed awkwardly, mentally preparing myself for whatever shitty jab Alastor would make at my expense. He let me stew in it for a minute, or maybe for once he just didn’t know what to say. The sound of my heels rang in my ears as I was aware of his lack of response, buzzing with the city noises happening around us.

“How unfortunate!” He used my arm hooked with his to pull me closer and gave me a sideways smile. “I would have given you a much better deal than that!” And winked at me. I gave a small laugh, right like being his tailor for the rest of my afterlife, how fun. He glared at the window of a TV shop as we passed it, Vox was giving some interview, but it distorted more the longer he looked at it. Just as soon as we had passed it, the screens returned to normal. Another mystery to Alastor. “Don’t worry dear, you aren’t the only soul in hell who has made an unwise deal. I think half the inhabitants of our hotel are in that very same boat with you!” As dumb as it is, it kinda made me feel better that I’m not the only sucker that I know.

We reached the steps of the hotel and he followed me up.

“Well if you need any emergency alterations you know where to find me!” I smiled and opened the door. After all of that I do think Alastor made me feel better, and I still have the entire $1 to my name that I could have lost, or worse.

“Well someone is in a better mood than she was before.” Husk snarked from the bar and I shrugged.

“I didn’t die so I guess I can’t complain too much.” I threw a wink to him and he let out a small chuckle. Alastor cleared his throat to regain my attention, which I gave him, clasping my hands behind my back.

“As happy as I am to have been of service tonight, I must bid you adieu my dear, I have much to do!” He gave my head a pat and made his way up the grand staircase without waiting for a response. I watched him go and disappear down a hallway off to whatever chores awaited him. I let out a well earned yawn and looked back at Husk. Is he always behind the bar? Where does he sleep? When does he sleep? I shook the thoughts from my head and waved him goodnight.

I made my way up to my room but as soon as I drifted off to sleep all that filled my dreams was the image of Alastor in his demon form in the alley, but this time I was his prey. I would focus on his eyes and the intense fear they filled me with, shadow arms raising me higher and higher into the air as he laughed at my pleads for help. His whole body expanded and grew more wicked and disturbingly sharp. One of his claws dragged across my cheek, drawing blood. I woke up in a cold sweat and panting to catch my breath. I went to my bathroom to splash some cool water on my face, but struggled to feel much calmer. It was just a dream, but it was based on real events, even if they didn’t happen quite like that. I decided to throw on a robe and knock on Angel’s door, it was late, but hopefully he would be awake. He opened the door, rubbing his eyes.

“Lilly? What the hell are you doin’ up at this hour?” He asked, one set of arms hugged himself and the other attempted to straighten his hair. I realized how dumb the truth sounded. ‘Oh I had a bad dream and wanted to talk to you’ I couldn’t say that, he would close the door in my face.

I glanced up and down the hallway, surely even Alastor is asleep at this time of night? “I need to tell you about my day, now.” I tried to look very serious, but I was also pretty tired. Angel stepped to the side and let me in, giving me the first proper look of his room. It was very nicely decorated, it looked just like him. Everything was pink and there were little string lights hanging from the wall giving off a soft purple twinkle.

He sat on his bed and patted the spot next to him. “What can’t wait until the mornin’ doll?” I took the seat and crossed my legs in front of me, pulling my robe a little tighter for comfort. “Husk told me you walked out pissed, but nothing else.”

“I just needed to get out. After the last two days of nonstop I just wanted to feel like a person and I didn’t here. Listen, to make a long story short, Alastor showed up to get me out of some hot shit. Apparently Charlie had sent him, but I saw him attack this demon and I, I don’t know I just can’t stop seeing it now. I’ve seen some fucked up shit here, I literally saw my coworkers get torn limb by limb a few days ago, but I don’t know something about how he looked at that demon.” I shivered. “How he looked at me after. It just, it freaked me out a little.” I pulled my legs up to my chest and rested my chin on my knees. Angel rubbed my back to sooth me.

“Ah don’t worry about him too much, you’ve got Charlie’s stamp of ‘Do-Not-Kill’ on yah so he won’t lay a hand on you!” He crossed one set of arms “even if you want him to.” Apparently still making no progress in his flirtations. “Plus, if it’s dreams you’re worried about, maybe you just wish his arms were around you in another way!” He joked and lightly elbowed me in the side. I rolled my eyes at him and smiled.

“Angel if you can’t pull him I’ve got zero luck, plus I am not interested like that. He’s just such a mystery I can't keep him out of my head.” I said, thinking on it I know shockingly few things about him for the amount that he seems to pop up and know things about me.

“Oh baby, the best dick is!” We both giggled and I felt a lot better. I asked him how his day was and he lit up. “Me and Husk got to have some quality time, if you know what I mean!” And he gave a cheesy smile. “We shared a drink is what I actually mean though. I think I’m breaking him down!” He beamed and then told me about how Husk had once been an overlord, until he was too far in the hole with gambling and ended up making a deal with our very own Alastor, confirming what I thought. Once I was caught up on the hotel tea I noticed my eyelids feeling heavy and the idea of getting some more sleep sounded better and better. Angel laughed and pulled the blanket over me and before his head hit the pillow I was out.

Part Three

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x oc #radio demon #slow burn #angel dust

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alilixx · 3 months ago

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Can we get jealous cuddy 👀

Of course! I'm so sorry for being late. I had some things to deal with in real life, and I didn't have any ideas for a fanfic. OKAY SO IM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE I NEEDED TO SEE A DOCTOR, hope you will like it tho ! <3

You had always appreciated working under Lisa Cuddy’s leadership. She was not only an excellent doctor but also a respected manager and a woman you admired immensely. However, lately, the atmosphere between the two of you seemed strange, although you couldn't quite pinpoint the exact cause.

It all started when Stacey, House’s ex-girlfriend, returned to the hospital. You found in her an ally and a friend in dealing with the issue known as "House." Your interactions were light and pleasant, and soon, you began spending more and more time together, having lunch or chatting about everything and nothing in between consultations. Cuddy, on the other hand, seemed distant, more reserved with you. Sometimes, you noticed her gaze—not angry, but... troubled.

One day, while you were talking with Chase in the break room, you noticed Lisa watching you from a distance. There was something in her gaze, a spark you had never seen before. When Chase slipped away after advising you to go talk to her, you hesitated before approaching her. Nothing could go wrong, right?

"Lisa, is everything okay?"

She looked up from her papers, her expression perfectly controlled.

"Yes, everything is fine," she replied in a neutral tone. "Why do you ask?"

You felt a pang in your heart, uncertain of the truth in her response. "It’s just that... I feel like something is bothering you."

Cuddy had sighed lightly, lifting her eyes to meet yours. "Maybe you should focus a little less on Stacey and a little more on your work," she said with a hint of irritation.

Of course, this hurt you. You had studied so hard to work here, and even here, you fought to keep your mental health in the best shape. You were doing good work; it was rare for you to have problems with patients or nurses.

Her remark took your breath away. Was she... jealous? You almost protested, but the words got stuck in your throat. Without saying another word, you left the room, heart heavy. Afterward, you began to distance yourself from Stacey, hoping it would calm the situation. And indeed, things became more relaxed between you and Lisa. At least, that’s what you thought.

You continued with your usual routine, often talking to Chase or Cameron when the two were a couple. They were so different, making them good advisors. Stacey watched you with a hint of sadness as you only spoke to her briefly, but you couldn’t afford to get on your boss’s bad side; work was more important than just a colleague.

Shortly after Stacey’s departure, you grew closer to Eric Foreman, a competent and intelligent colleague with whom you enjoyed exchanging ideas. Once again, you noticed that Lisa seemed upset whenever you talked to him, especially outside of a professional setting. That day, she even swept through the room in a hurry, deliberately avoiding you.

This routine of avoidance had lasted for several months, and your friends outside of work (excluding Chase and Cameron, of course) had noticed that you weren’t doing well.

Not knowing what else to do, and exhausted by this silent tension, you decided to take a few days off. Maybe some space would help you see things more clearly.

Three days into your "sick leave," there was a knock at your door. You opened it to find Lisa Cuddy standing in front of you, looking nervous and a bit lost.

"Lisa..." you murmured, surprised.

She took a deep breath, as if searching for the right words. "I... I came to apologize. I think... I haven’t been fair to you. I let my feelings get the better of me."

You felt your heart race. "Your feelings?"

Cuddy nodded, her gaze locking onto yours. "I think I’m jealous, but not just because of Stacey or Foreman. I’m jealous because... you mean a lot to me. More than I was willing to admit to myself, so please, give me a chance. I don’t even know if you’re attracted to women or to me, but Y/N, please."

The words hung between you, heavy with meaning and promise. You gently took her hand, the uncertainty giving way to clarity.

"You mean a lot to me too, Lisa," you murmured, looking her in the eyes. "I’ll give you a chance, but let’s do this right."

Lisa nodded, a slight smile forming on her lips. Without another word, you gently pulled her inside your apartment, closing the door behind you. She didn’t resist, allowing herself to be guided by your gesture, as if she had been waiting for this moment for a long time.

The atmosphere between you two had changed. The next day at noon, Lisa suggested going out for lunch together at a little restaurant she particularly liked. You agreed, delighted to spend a more intimate moment with her, away from the hospital corridors and prying eyes.

The restaurant was charming, with solid wood tables and lit candles creating a warm ambiance. Sitting face to face, you shared a delicious meal, filled with laughter and deep conversations. Lisa seemed more relaxed, her smile constant and her eyes shining with that sparkle you loved so much.

"I’m glad we had that conversation," she confided, absentmindedly playing with her glass. "I don’t want any more misunderstandings between us."

"Me neither," you replied sincerely. "I really care about you, Lisa, and I want this to work between us."

The afternoon continued in the same gentle and close atmosphere. You strolled through the streets of the city, visiting a few shops, sharing memories, and laughing about everything and nothing. Time flew by, and soon, the day began to fade, giving way to the first light of dusk.

In the evening, back at your place, you decided to cook together. It was a simple idea, but it seemed perfect to end this special day. In the kitchen, the atmosphere was light and relaxed. You chose to prepare an Italian dish, a recipe that Lisa loved.

She took care of the pasta while you made the sauce. Your movements were synchronized, and from time to time, your hands brushed against each other, triggering knowing smiles. At one point, Lisa accidentally spilled some sauce on your apron, and you both burst out laughing.

"I think you're better in an operating room than in the kitchen," you teased. Lisa laughed, shaking her head. "You’re not wrong. Good thing you’re here to fix my mistakes."

The kitchen filled with the tantalizing smell of the meal, but also with something more intangible: the warmth and growing affection between the two of you. Once dinner was ready, you set the table, lighting a few candles to create an even more intimate atmosphere.

The meal you shared was simple but delicious, and most importantly, it was a perfect reflection of your day: a mutual discovery, full of warmth and affection. After eating, you tidied up the kitchen together before settling on the couch with a glass of wine.

"Thank you for today," Lisa murmured, resting her head on your shoulder. "It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this good."

You placed a kiss on her forehead, feeling exactly the same way. "We should do this more often," you replied softly, savoring the moment, determined to make this relationship something beautiful and lasting.

No words or movements were made for a long while. The silence settled in, not awkward, but comforting. You realized the sensation you felt at that moment—a gentle, enveloping warmth, the desire to stay there, simply, with her.

Your hands were intertwined, and you could feel the light pressure of her fingers against yours. Lisa kept her head on your shoulder, her breathing steady and calm. You stayed there, your lips meeting in soft, slow kisses, filled with this newfound tenderness. Nothing else mattered at that moment but her presence by your side.

You’d be lying if you said this relationship didn’t scare you. There were doubts, uncertainties. What if you ended up losing her? What if all of this was just a fleeting dream, destined to crumble over time? The very thought of losing this connection that had just begun to form made your head spin.

But at the same time, the temptation to be with her, to see how far this story could go, was stronger than anything. Deep down, you knew you wanted to be by her side, no matter the risks. This relationship, as frightening as it might be, represented something precious—a chance to love and be loved like never before.

And if this chance also meant the possibility of spending your life with her, then you were ready to seize it, to face any fears that might arise along the way. After all, love was worth a few risks, especially if it was to be with her, Lisa Cuddy.

You would have never known or even imagined that Cuddy was into switching roles. You had no doubt she liked to give, but to receive? Especially the way she asked if you could take control in bed this time. Of course, you accepted; this woman deserved everything.

It was the same time you came home from work later than she did, which was rare, but who would have expected to find her in the bedroom, lying on the bed, moaning your name with a "mommy" right after? You hadn’t made a sound, thinking she was asleep, but seeing her with a vibrator inside her, calling out your name, left you breathless. This vision of Lisa was one of the most arousing possible. When she saw you, she suddenly stopped, leaving only the sound of the vibrator, and you moved toward her, holding the toy in place.

Instantly, Lisa felt all her muscles tense at once. Something started vibrating inside her—literally vibrating deep within her—pressed against her folds, just behind her clit, against that perfect spot that made her pussy tight and warm.

You leaned down and gave her a kiss on the temple to reassure her in addition to your words which simply told her that she was a good girl for you, you managed to have the desired effect, seeing her tense up against the sheets in below her.

You wanted to push her over the edge with the biggest orgasm she had ever had in order to reassure her and make her understand that you loved being dominant. Along with your tongue on her breasts, it begins to swell strangely, filling her, vibrating and pulsing against her hot, slick folds in a way that is entirely pleasurable for Lisa.

The dean can't help but gasp, closing her eyes and unable to form coherent words. “I think that’s enough baby,” you whisper softly.

Slowly the new toy inside her pussy decreased in size and slowed its vibrations. It feels like a shrinking knot, then a love egg, then it's too small to feel descriptively. Lisa can always tell there's something inside her, but it's the smallest, most harmless of intrusions.

You could see her move her hips against the mattress so she could feel the toy again but nothing happened, she looked at you as you blocked her hands from her pussy. “No sweetheart, you won’t touch yourself if I don’t tell you.”

Lisa moaned in annoyance, she had wanted this for so long into this day and her girlfriend wouldn't even make her come. After a few seconds of pure torture, you turned the toy back on. The toy was going so deep inside Lisa that tears were streaming down her cheeks. The vibrations are so powerful you could hear them - whirring, pulsing, mechanically rumbling like a revving engine. You lowered Lisa slowly, gently, bringing her away from the cliff edge of a fast, hard orgasm.

The only "Please" she said to you made your heart ache but she couldn't cum now, you wouldn't allow her again. You choose a low, gentle vibration setting – enough so that Lisa can feel it bringing on her orgasm, but not enough to push her over the edge. "If you're still a good girl by the time I finish my paperwork for my patients, we can go over things."

The minutes passed and you were finishing the last papers while Lisa was moaning, you stayed in the room to see if she respected the conditions in order to reward her properly. She hadn't done anything except beg you. Did she deserve it? Of course but you were going to have to tease her again, if she asked you to stop you would and she knew it but she hadn't used the word yet.

You sat on the edge of the bed calling to her, she stood between your legs. You had to hold his hips from the way her legs were shaking. "My good girl, you tried so hard not to come. I think you deserve a reward don't you? Mommy will let you come on her thigh but you have to do the work when she tells you to come, you can. "

Lisa nodded and she sat on your thigh and rubbed against it, moaning. The friction and the toy inside her felt so good and she was trying hard not to come, when you saw the tears on her cheeks again, you turned the toy up all the way and came to take her breasts in your mouth in turn and she comes on your leg.

The orgasm was so long, you hoped you hadn't gone too far but when you noticed the smile on her face after slowly going down the pace of the toy. She comes to give you a quick kiss and thank you. Wasn't it perfect?

#fanfiction #dr house #doctor house #house md #housemd #lisa edelstein #lisa cuddy x you #lisa cuddy #lisa cuddy x reader #hatecrimes md #lisa #hot mommy

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salamanderinspace · 9 months ago

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When I was 17, after my parents first threw me out, I lived in a house where a bunch of young professionals were all saving money by living in close quarters. The rent was $200. This was 20 years ago, of course. My roommates were all about 28-29, on the cusp of getting married and getting their own houses, and they all worked two jobs or paired a job with grad school. As a result it was mostly me alone in the house, using the house.

We had two doors--a front door, and a back door that led to a little parking area. The kitchen trash was right by the back door. I'd never been out the back door, because I didn't have a car to park, unlike my roommates. So when the communal kitchen trash got full I would, like a teenage gremlin, simply not take it out.

This is because I was frightened. I imagined going out the back door and it closing behind me and locking. I imagined raccoons. I imagined I would not be able to find the bins, or I wouldn't take the bins to the corner at the correct time. It wasn't about laziness … I was working three jobs at the time, one of which was cleaning hotel rooms. I changed a dozen trashes every day. For most of my life since that house, I've been the trash taker at my place. But there I had some kind of autistic mental block about it. Not anxiety. It was more like. I couldn't think through how the task would go. If someone had showed me, visually step by step, I might have got it.

Anyway. This caused my roommates to have a rather poor impression of me, and to be irritated. It probably wasn't this alone, but a series of equally autistic moments ruining the very limited time we did spend in each other's company. Shyness, or oversharing. Forgetfulness. The result was that they really, really didn't like me. I did not know this, of course. I found out later, through facebook. I had a lot of respect for them and wanted to connect--for the whole six months I lived there, I yearned for it,and I tried my best. Then they went off and got married and got their houses.

Sometimes when I feel kind of alone I think about all the little relationships like those. Dozens of different jobs and flop houses where I really tried to make friends and people closed me out for a (minor, but valid) reason. And I just hate myself. I hate myself so much. It's not like I'm ever going to be able to stop having these autistic moments; it's always going to be something different, some error in thinking. When I make friends it's generally with someone who knows how to be forgiving and understanding of disability… It's easy for me to direct that at other people. It's not easy to apply it to me, because my actions have resulted in my isolation.

Or maybe I never had a shot at winning those kids over; they were older, and sort of bougie-judgmental, so maybe no one could have made a good impression in my position. I don't know. I just know that any aloneness and rejection I experience really feel like my fault.

#memoir #autobiographical #actuallyautistic

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britswriting · 1 year ago

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Odd One Out! | Quadruple The Love H.S

Quadruple The Love Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Take your quadruplet gender guesses now before reading!

"Babe, your leg is shaking" Harry hummed, placing his hand on my knee, our skin contact making a warmth spread across my body.

"Sorry. I'm just nervous" I confessed, being mindful about my physical signs of my over- flowering anxiety.

Every hospital appointment I'm convinced I'm going to send Harry's blood pressure through the roof due to my outrageous anxiety. I couldn't help but be a bundle of nerves as far as three to four days leading up to our hospital appointments; the physical reactions only getting worse the closer we got.

I was petrified that something was going to go wrong. That one of the babies wasn't gong to be okay, or that I was doing something wrong.

Due to being a high risk pregnancy, It feels like I've been living at the hospital the past few months. Countless tests, exams and fetal monitoring made me feel like A: Something was wrong with me. B: Something was wrong with my babies or C: I was some sort of science experiment.

"Y/N Styles?" I heard Harry offering me his hands, allowing me to grasp them so he could help me up out of the chair.

Harry offered me a comforting soft smile whilst I got my weight checked, refusing to look at whatever offensive number it was going to read.

You're carrying four babies Y/N, you're going to gain a lot of weight. I have to remind myself, Harry's hand lacing between mine as we walked down the hospital room corridor.

"Do you want to do the blood work test to learn the sexes of the babies?" The nurse asked, my eyes widening as I looked over at Harry; his expression mirroring my own.

"Up to you baby, I'm fine either way" Harry said, his thumb offering a comforting rub against my knuckles.

Do I want to know the sexes?

"How uh, how does that work? — With multiples, I mean" I asked, all new kinds of nerves creeping up on the back of my neck.

"Well, we'd be looking for a Y chromosome. Female DNA is an X chromosome, so if a Y shows up in the bloodwork, that tells us you're pregnant with a boy. If a Y doesn't show up, we'd make the assumption all the babies are female. Now, for multiples.. it would really only tell us that at least one of them are boys. We can look and see if we can find out through ultrasound but with there being so many, I have no promises of us learning today" He explained and I nodded slowly, chewing a hole into my lip as my hands were folded against my stomach.

"Can I think about it?" I quietly asked, the nurse nodding.

We went through the routine questions before he left and an ultrasound technician came in, offering a happy smile.

"Mr. and Mrs. Styles. Happy to see you again" glanced between Harry and I before turning on the machine and grabbing the gel. "We're just going to be checking that everything is going smoothly. Pretty routine at this point" She stated, myself nodding as I braced for the cold liquid to touch my warm skin.

Once again, our eyes were locked on the screen that displayed each one of our baby's, one by one as the heartbeats played through the speakers.

"They're got some strong heartbeats" She smiled, pride smothering me.

"You're already raising such strong kids, my love. Knew you'd be a wonderful mother" Harry's warm lips pressed against my temple, offering another form of comfort to me.

"Baby A had ten toes" She announced, my head jerking away from Harry back to the screen, watching her count their little fingers. "Appears 10 fingers. Their hand is in a little fist" She giggled, my hand so desperately wanting to reach towards the screen and brush their delicate little fingers.

Staring at your baby and not being able to touch it felt like a cruel punishment.

"Do you want me to look for a gender and tell you?" She asked, turning the screen back towards her.

Do I?

I looked back over at Harry who always seemed to get lost in his own little world at these appointments.

"Do we want to know?" I asked, my hand wrapping around his forearm, gaining his attention.

Harry looked down at me, his eyes glistening under the low light, showing me they were full of tears as his soft smile made his dimply just barely pop.

I watched him swallow before speaking up, "Up to you, love"

I sighed.

Fuck it.

"Can uh, you just write them down if you can see, and we can decide later?"

The silence was excruciating. The second I saw her pick up a pen, my heart started racing.

Oh my god

I looked back at Harry, a tear rolling down his cheek, melting and breaking my heart all at the same time.

"Babe, why are you crying? I thought I was the hormonal one" I joked, the tips of my fingers brushing against his calloused fingertips.

"I'm sorry-" he started, my words quickly interrupting him.

"You don't have to apologize for being emotional, baby"

"I know, I know" He sighed, "I'm just.. embarrassed, I guessed" he bashfully admitted, his hand wiping away the evidence of his hardened exterior cracking. "I can't help but feel these emotions overwhelm me" He started before going radio silent, igniting a wildfire of worry through my chest.

Was he regretting this? Did he not want four babies? I mean, who wants four babies at once..

"Can you let me into your head, please?" I asked softly, no longer focusing on the ultrasound tech, Harry nodding.

"I um, just looking at that screen.. seeing their little bodies on the screen and knowing they're inside of your stomach is just... getting to me I guess. I can't help but think about all those times we stayed at the negative pregnancy tests, and now here we are, with not just one, but four babies. I'm fucking terrified for the late night feeds and trying to potty train them all; but I'm so fucking excited too. I mean, you were told you couldn't have kids, Y/N. That shattered your entire world, and now... now we have four healthy babies. Four of them Y/N"

"Not to interrupt, but I know two of the genders. I couldn't see the other two. The positionings were awkward and one of their legs was squeezed shut. I have them on this piece of paper what baby C and D are"

"You know?" Harry asked, the tech nodding. "Babe, someone on this earth knows what we're about to be parents to" Harry looked over at me, his face unreadable.

"If you want to know, you can. You just can't tell me" I chuckle, Harry's lips rolling in thought.

"Baby, you know I suck at keeping secrets!" He groaned, "I'm going to want to start buying things immediately"

"Well, I mean, we're having four babies. What's the chance of them all being girls or boys?" I noted, thinking we got a 50/50 shot of at least one of them being different sex from the other. "We could do a cute sex reveal?" I suggested, "Nothing big. Maybe like.. the balloons in a box in our house or like the cupcake ones? Then we could find out together"

With the envelope and scans in hand (Including the gender reveal scans in the envelope) Harry and I left the Hospital, fingers intertwined and smiles on our face the entire drive home.

"I can't believe our future is sitting in the envelope and it's just sitting on the counter" Harry huffed, his eyes locked on it.

"Do you want to just look at it?" I asked, twisting off the cap of my water bottle. "We both suck at keeping secrets, so if we look at it, you know we're going to want to tell everyone" I reminded; Harry groaning, his head tossed back like a defiant child.

"I think I want to find out just with you, and then we can tell our family in a different way?" He said, his hand reaching for the envelope.

"So you're looking?"

"I— I don't know. Should I?"

"Well there is no going back"

"God, I hate this! What if these four are our last four, and we don't get to do a different route?"

"You mean to tell me you want a fifth kid?" I replied in disbelief, unsure if I even wanted a fifth kid after this. I mean, we literally climbed Mount Everest for the first one.

"I don't know, Y/N. I don't want to decide to look at the envelope and then regret not doing the cupcake thing; or not having the ultrasound tech tell us. I just don't want to regret how I choose to find out since I have a choice"

"We could always wait to find out?" I reminded him, Harry immediately shaking his head, making me giggle. "What? Don't like that idea?"

"Baby, we can't name four babies if we don't know their sex"

"You just pick out four of each, babe" I laugh, moving towards him to rest my forearms against his shoulders, my fingers intertwined at the base of his neck, Harry's thighs opening so I could stand between his legs.

"Do you want to wait?" He asked softly, his hands resting on my ass.

"I want to do the cupcake thing, where you bite into it and it has pink or blue frosting" I chewed my lower lip, feeling Harry's hands move from my ass, to my hips, to my stomach before softly caressing my stomach through my shirt.

"Then let's find a bakery"

* * * *

Harry and I stared at the white cupcakes with white frosting sitting in a white bakery box, Harry's phone set up to record the moment as I shook out my jitters.

"I don't know why I'm so fucking nervous. It's only two cupcakes!" I exhaled, Harry placing down to small plates, placing each cupcake down.

"I can't believe we're eating something that will tell us what two of them are" He snickered, my eyes rolling.

Ever since I dropped off the cupcake order, Harry's been very vocal about how dumb of an idea this was (Which made me cry quite a few times since I thought it was cute, and it didn't harm anything) - even though he was very on board originally but he put his opinion aside and let me thankfully have my moment.

"We just bite into it, right?" He asked and I nodded, peeling the wrapper off.

"The filling should be pink or blue" I hummed, licking my lips as the nerves ran rampant in my stomach.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Are you?" I countered, Harry's dimples popping as he leaned over, his smile meeting my own as we kissed before he pulled away and replied, "Ready", my cheeks becoming pink and warm.

We both watched each other bite into the cupcake, making me laugh at how awkward this was.

I refused to look inside as I chewed, whereas Harry immediately held the cupcake up to his face, his eyes widening as he turned it around, still chewing.

It was blue.

We were having at least one boy.

My own eyes went wide as I swallowed, Harry motioning for me to flip my own cupcake around, but my head shook as my own eyes trailed to the colored frosting.

It was blue.

I apparently didn't flip my wrist fast enough after my face showed surprise because Harry grabbed my wrist and turned it for me, seeing the blue frosting for himself.

"Two boys!" He yelled, my smile widening as he set our cupcakes down and pulled me into a kiss. "Oh my god" He groaned, hugging me the best he could due to how large and in charge my stomach was. "We're having two boys, baby"

"Mhm. I hope they look just like you. Brown curly hair, green eyes, dimples and all. Pure perfection" I kissed him again, Harry's cheeks tinting pink as he dropped to his knees, lifting my shirt to kiss my stomach.

"Hi boys" His lips moved against my skin.

I could feel his lips move against me, but I couldn't hear him before he placed soft kisses against my stretch marks, getting up off his knees and kissing me.

"Happy?" I teased, Harry wildly nodding.

"Two down, two to go"

* * * *

"Let's hope they're not shy this time" Our tech chuckled, moving the wand against the gel on my stomach, Harry and I watching the ultrasound machine for the umpteenth time.

"You guys know the two genders, right?" He double checked, Harry and I nodded; Harry informing him we knew at least two of them were boys.

We went over if we wanted to know if he could see them, or have them written down again; surprisingly Harry said he wanted to know from the tech; making this entire situation even more anticipated.

"It's noted that baby B and C were said to be boys" he hummed, showing us the ultrasound of the two, their penis very evident on the screen; confirming they were indeed boys. "So we need baby A, and baby D" he hummed again, flipping the screen. "Let's see.. this is baby A, they're a wiggly little one. I'm sure that can be uncomfortable. They're on your lower right" He said and I immediately nodded. "Let's see, their little fist is still clenched" He chuckled. "We could always have you drink some cold water, it usually gets them moving. It will make you have to pee though"

Two cups of cold water later, the wand was back to moving across my stomach, the three of us looking back at baby A who's tummy was moving up and down, legs still closed together.

"God damnit child!" I groaned, Harry and the tech snickering, "They're already being difficult!"

"Let's look at baby D" the screen flickered against for a better view of the baby on my left side. "This one's tucked in near your ribs" He winced, apparently knowledge on the fact that baby's against your ribs fucking suck. "Oh!" His voice peaked in pitch, "See here" He pointed at the screen where we could see between their legs due to the movement.

"Is that-" Harry paused, the tech nodding.

"Oh my god" my eyes prickled with tears, the perfect heartbeat filling our ears as happiness washed over me.

"Baby D is a boy!" The tech announced, writing it down on the paper.

"Three boys" Harry spoke in disbelief.

"Let's try looking back at baby A again" The tech noted, Harry and I waiting with baited breath.

Would the fourth be a boy? Were we having all boys? Do I want all boys? How am I going to raise boys?

"Come on little one, your mum and dad want to know what you are" he murmured to himself, trying different angles, but due to how the baby was positioned, even with the movement, we could only see their leg.

Sadly we couldn't see what Baby A was, leaving us with yet another appointment of anticipated mystery.

Our third gender related appointment, Harry and I had our fingers crossed, as the tech checked again, already noting that everything seemed to be alright even though they were all quite small.

"This little one is definitely shy" The tech chuckled as Harry and I nervously waited, although we decided to not find out what baby A was, and to have it written down on the paper so we could have one surprise at our gender reveal party with the family, it was still anxiety inducing.

What if they never showed and we just had to wait till my c-section?

I knew it wasn't the end of the world to not know; but it sucks having your heart set on something, just for all of that to be taken away. As silly as it sounds, Harry and I couldn't help but have a plethora of pillow talks about our kids, and what if we thought the fourth one would also be a boy.

It made my pregnancy dreams pick up as I imagined having these babies, except the fourth one just kept switching out from boy to girl every time I looked at them.

"Oh? I think we have a chance!" The tech exclaimed, my heart rate picking up as I desperately wished to turn the screen towards us; watching the techs head tilt, Harry's hand squeezed mine as he whispered, "This is it" in my ear, softly pecking my cheek afterwards.

"Oh my god, you know!" I accused, watching him pick up the pen with a small smile on his face.

"I do"

"Oh my god, tell me!" I joked, before quickly adding, "I'm joking! Don't actually!"

"I still can't believe we're having quadruplets" Harry laughed, taking the sealed envelope.

"I can't believe I'm working on a case of quadruplets!" The tech chuckled, wiping the gel off my stomach.

"This entire thing has been a daydream and a nightmare all wrapped in one messy package" I sighed, Harry helping me up so I could pull my shirt down.

"They appear healthy though, which is the best part of my job" The tech offered us a small smile, shuffling some of the paperwork on the counter before scooping up a clipboard.

The second we got home, Harry and I grabbed a few snacks before sitting down on our couch and immediately starting to plan this party.

"How are we going to buy balloons if we don't know the gender?" Harry asked, my pointer finger hitting the down key as I scrolled through different Pinterest Ideas.

"I'm more so wondering how original we want to be"

"You said you wanted to do Balloons in a box in our living room" Harry's eyebrows raised in suspicion.

"But is it stupid?" I worried, Harry's eyes rolling.

"Babe, gender reveals in general are stupid"

"No they aren't" I whined, pouting as I moved the laptop off of me and onto the coffee table, "They're special! We're telling our family and friends what we're having! It's fun and special"

"I understand that it is special. But extravagant things are a bit much, no? I told you this with the cupcakes"

"It was two cupcakes, Harry" I huffed, tired of coming back to this conversation. "Plus, you're literally the king of being extra! I don't understand what you're so hung up on"

"I'm not hung up on anything"

"Bullshit! You were all excited about this when we first found out, but the section I put everything into motion, you became Mr. Bah Humbug!"

"I'm not being Bah Humbug, I'm just thinking.. this is a lot, babe. You're six months pregnant, love. I don't think we need to be doing some huge party; let alone planning it. You're supposed to be resting and protecting yourself and our babies-"

"So what? Now I'm a bad mom?" I frowned, Harry's cheeks puffing as he blew our air.

"You know I didn't say that, babe. I just don't want you overdoing it, is all. Plus, how are we supposed to order and put these things together without knowing? Doesn't someone else typically do this?"

"I just want it to be special, Harry" I sighed, my eyes falling shut as I let my body give into the comfort of our couch.

"It will be, baby. I just think decorating and all that is something we don't need to do ourselves. There are professionals for a reason. Shouldn't we just hire someone? Then all that stress is on them, and I can keep you comfy and cozy in bed as you do the hardest job out of anyone" He smiled softly, his thumbs digging into the soles of my sock covered feet.

"What? Laying around?" I scoffed, Harry's smile widening as he shook his head, replying, "Growing our babies"

* * * *

Our house was decorated to the gods.

Pastel pink and blue balloons were blown up and attached to all sorts of different signage around our downstairs.

A "Girl or boy?" a banner was hung over our entry table where cute little guessing game activities were.

Different jars read, "All boys" "All girls" "Three girls, one boy" etc of the different variants; marbles ready to clatter into the mason jars.

A calendar with the month of our due date was shown, "Guess the due date" being listed with a jar under it where you can slip a piece of paper into it and finally, a place to leave baby name suggestions was sat next to a cute "Welcome to the Styles' gender reveal party! Please no social media posts, or stories! This is a private event!" With parenthesis underneath reading "Please don't share the genders of their babies on social media either"

In the kitchen we had an assortment of catered foods and bowls of snacks; the prized Cake sat in the middle that had a cake topper reading, "Boys or girls?"

Harry's event planner got a four tiered cake ordered, each layer being frosted with blue or pink frosting so when you sliced into it, and took a piece out, the answer was in the frosting.

In our living room stood four taped shut boxes that had the balloons in them, the final box being the one Harry and I didn't know.

Harry was wearing a pastel pink shirt with blue jeans and I was wearing a cute pastel pink and blue tie dye maxi dress.

On our dining room table the baby gifts were sat wrapped in perfected wrapping paper and bows, or puffy tissue paper peeking out of bags. Harry and I fought over the idea of being gifted things since we could very well afford everything but annoyingly Harry brought his mom into it, who explained that "It's just so special to shop for baby gifts. It's so fun to see something you bought them being used! Especially clothes and things"

Harry made sure I sat most of the time since my feet were pretty swollen, different people coming up to me and conversing before we played a few party games awaiting the real reason everyone was gathered here.

"Ready, love?" Harry asked, my head nodding as my hands grabbed his, the leverage of his pull helping me onto my feet, a few people chuckling before Harry kissed me, lacing our hands together before helping me waddle over to the boxes, taking a different seat right in front of the final two boxes on the left of Harry.

"Hello!" Harry's voice boomed over everyone else's, getting them to focus on him. "We just wanted to thank everyone for coming! Y/N and I can't wait to go on this journey together as you all know. In case anyone has forgotten, We are expecting quadruplets!" Harry and the crowd cheered, my eyes rolling as I replied, "How could I forget?" getting a few laughs.

"You look stunning, babe" He reassured me, "Now Y/N and I do know what is inside of the first three boxes" he motioned towards them with his hand, "This is for you. The last one is a surprise to us all"

"Get going already!" My mom shouted somewhere from within the crowd, all of us laughing as Harry nodding.

"Alright, better now than never" he chuckled nervously, crouching next to me to open the box. "Ready? Five.. Four.." he led, the crowd joining them before reaching zero, the box opening and the small blue balloons floated up to the ceiling.

The crowd cheered and whistled, a few cries of excitement and curses of "I thought it'd be all girls" were heard around the room.

The process repeated two more times, the anticipation growing as blue balloons laid at our feet, my hands shaking a little over the fourth box.

This was it.

We'd finally know.

"Come on baby boy! All boys! Let me be right!" My mom prayed in front of me, her fingers twisted into a promise hold.

"Open it!" The crowd cheered, Harry and I smiling at each other before I pried open the box, refusing to look until the balloons floated out, the crowd cheering in excitement as Harry pulled me into a hug; pink balloons above us.

It was a girl.

We were having a baby girl.

"I love you so much, Y/N" Harry told me, kissing me for a few moments before pulling away.

"I told you they wouldn't be all the same!" I laughed, his eyes rolling as he grabbed one of the pink balloons.

"I can't believe we're having a girl. I really thought they'd be all boys" he chuckled, "With the first three being boys, I had a pretty solidified thought that you'd be the princess of the family, but uh, I hope you don't mind being the queen" He teased, tossing me the pink balloon.

Everyone came up to congratulate us, my body feeling numb as I tried to process all the new information.

It felt fake. Like all of this was a lie.

If it wasn't for my big belly and constant medical check ups, I would've thought they were pulling my leg.

Harry and I were really having quadruplets after our long infertility struggle. We were having three boys and a girl, and it all felt surreal. You couldn't wipe the smile off our faces even if you tried, but that didn't mean the worry didn't build up higher and higher each and every day the news started to set in. As fake as it felt, it also felt extremely real. We were going to be parents to quadruplets in just a few months and we didn't have anything picked out and ready.

Anne came up to us, full smile and hugs before exclaiming, "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma! You guys are definitely going to have your hands full but I'll be here whenever you need! I can't believe you're having a little girl! After all those blue balloons, I was certain I was going to need to stock up on everything boy" She laughed, Harry grinning down at his mother.

"Trust us, we're both in just as much disbelief as you"

ynstyles

♡ liked by: annetwist, yourbff, harrystyles, and 27,940 others

tagged: harrystyles

ynstyles: Struggling to get out of bed!! #toopregnant

view all 13,758 comments

harrystyles: You can stay in bed for as long as you want babe ↳ ynstyles: @/harrystyles I would, but my bladder says otherwise!

yourbff: I can't wait to touch your belly!!

↳ ynstyles: @/yourbff Okay that sounds weird lol

harryfan1: I can't wait till Harry becomes a dad! It's going to be so cute!! ↳ harryfan2: @/harryfan1 That is if they share it with us :/ ↳ harryfan3: @/harryfan2 Oh shit, true O_o

harryfan4: Does anyone know how far along she is?

harryfan5: Since when was she pregnant?

harryfan6: I need Harry cuddles :(

harryfan7: I can't believe she's having his kid 🙄This divorce is gonna get messy!! 😬 ↳ harryfan8: @/harryfan7 Divorce? :(

* * * *

I have no baby names picked out help

September 13th, 16th, 17th 2023

Published on: September 17th 2023

Word Count: 4417

tags: @ashleighsss @theekyliepage

94 notes · View notes

hexpea · 8 months ago

Text

Ch. 4 - Conditions

"Are you sure you're okay alone?" You asked Seiko as you put on your shoes to head out for the day. The two of you stood at the entrance to your hotel room having final contemplations about getting this divorce finalized. "You can...come if you want? I just figured it would be...awkward for you."

"I'm sure, I'm fine," Seiko reassured you for the thousandth time that morning. Your nerves had you psyched out since the minute you got back from your parents' place. "I've plenty to do on my Tokyo sightseeing tour to keep myself busy. Don't worry about me...at all. Go, get that signature," they smiled as you stood straight again.

"I will," you gave a reassuring breath before turning to open the door. "Love you!" You called back.

"Love you, too!" Seiko's voice lingered in your ears as you shut the door behind yourself.

You left the hotel early, making sure to reach him before he had the chance to leave on any missions or whatever it was he was up to in the present. Your palms already felt sweaty as you began your journey to Gojo's apartment. You had shoved the papers you needed into your bag, they were folded up tight in the center pouch.

With a train ride to the other side of downtown and a bit of a walk, you found yourself standing in front of the large building made of glass. You could immediately tell that Gojo was using his wealth to his advantage. You couldn't blame him.

You didn't know much about his parents or his upbringing beside when the two of you would play together as kids. From what you did see of them, they were uptight and sticklers for tradition. But, clearly, parent-less life was suiting Satoru. A part of you couldn't blame him there either.

You walked into the lobby and stared at the resident information board organized by last name to find 'Gojo' listed on one of the higher floors. Of course he'd take no less than something penthouse level. You stared at the black button that would buzz his apartment for a few moments too long. You actually had to step out of the way for another person to buzz an apartment and head in before you worked up the nerve to even press a fingertip to its surface.

You took a deep breath and pressed down. You thought your heart was beating a million miles a minute but it increased ten-fold when you heard static begin on the intercom. You were about to hear the voice of the man you were once married to, technically still, whom you hadn't seen in three whole years.

"Hello?" Gojo's muffled voice came through sounding a bit skeptical, clearly not expecting visitors. He sounded like his usually cheery, arrogant self, as expected. You were stuck between thinking his personality was charming or irritating.

"Hi," your voice was small as you brought yourself close to the intercom to speak, swallowing hard though your mouth was dry. You spoke lowly so as to not give away the shaking tone of embarrassment.

"Who's this?" He continued with a twinge of playful irritation, you could hear his smile through his speech. Your voice sounded familiar to him, but he just couldn't pinpoint from exactly where with the static interference.

"It's...Y/N," you hesitated once more, the tone of your voice going down even further when you said your name, as if trying to keep it a secret.

A loud, obnoxious laugh came through the intercom the minute you finished. "No way!" He chuckled excitedly. "Come on up!"

With that, a sound in the lobby started to buzz with the sound of a lock mechanism unlocking following. It allowed you passage through the set of double doors heading to the elevators. You made sure to give a polite nod to the front desk attendant before continuing on your way.

You boarded the elevator and took it up to his floor, reading the various door numbers until you found his. You took another deep breath before knocking firmly, the sound echoing down the empty hallway. Your eyes darted between the two directions, not wanting to be caught dead in front of his door as if the others that lived there knew you.

Moments later, the door swung open, revealing the tall and imposing figure of Gojo Satoru. His trademark cocky grin with all pearly whites showing and his signature, and infinitely annoying, confident aura were as present as ever. He wore a jujutsu tech uniform telling you he was still involved with the school in some form or fashion. What else did you expect? It was just as you had left him and you were quickly reminded of your irritation.

"Y/N, what brings you here?" He asked, leaning against the doorframe to his flat, staring at you through his dark blindfold.

His casual, cheery demeanor this early in the morning was maddening. It was almost as if the last time you saw him wasn't at the courthouse to somberly file away what was invalid divorce papers.

"Well," you sighed, your confidence beginning to come back now that you had seen him, your mission in mind, "it turns out we're still married. And," you reached into your bag and handed him the papers you needed signed, "I need you to sign those to finalize everything."

Gojo raised an eyebrow from behind his blindfold; you could see his brow muscle twitch to form the motion. His playful demeanor was clearly never going to waver.

"Oh, so you've finally decided to give up on me, huh? Well, it's about time." His grin was crooked becoming crookeder as he leaned down to your level and saw the flames building behind your eyes. You didn't like the idea he was implying.

"You were the one who asked in the first place!" You corrected him, this scene of anger vs. playfulness something that was seen often in your conversations with him while married. "I just want this to be over with, Gojo. Sign these so we can put this behind us once and for all," you demanded.

"Yeesh, back on a last name basis then," he muttered as he stood up straight and unfolded the papers that you handed him to give them a quick scan. You hated the way he smiled while reading them over. He was eagerly gripping the pages, nearly wrinkling them in the process.

He snapped his attention back to you with a mischievous glint in his smile. "Sure, I'll sign these, but I've got a condition, Y/N."

You were taken aback though you should've seen something like this coming from a million miles away. You felt your face turning red, heat pooling to the tip of your nose. His arrogance was as exasperating as ever.

"What's your condition, Gojo?" You caved, not wanting to argue further. If whatever it was was easy, then it was better to oblige him than fight with him.

A triumphant smile spread across his face as he leaned in closer to you once more, close enough that you could nearly smell the minty freshness of his breath. Your palms suddenly felt sweaty again as you felt the heat coming from between your faces, close in proximity.

"I want a date with you."

You just about raged as he said that, but he stopped you with a finger to your lips, a hush. You immediately furrowed your brow with even more rage.

"...Just one," he purred, clearly enjoying the discomfort he was causing as you hesitantly leaned away from his personal space intrusion. "You and me, dinner, and a chance to catch up."

You swallowed hard at the request. There was no reason for your mouth to be this dry, for you to be this nervous. A 'date' with your ex-husband was the last thing you wanted, but it seemed that he was determined to maintain his self-important and cocky attitude, even in this situation.

With a heavy sigh, you nodded in reluctant agreement. "Fine, one night out," you allowed, making sure to change the phrasing. He retracted his body, standing straight once more. "But you sign these papers first."

Gojo chuckled, his arrogance unrelenting. "Not so fast, Y/N. Dinner first, then I'll sign the papers. You won't get off that easily." He seemed to revel in the power play, and you found yourself trapped in his charismatic, yet infuriating, web once again.

"Again," you rolled your eyes while trying not to stutter, "you were the one who asked for the divorce."

Gojo's laughter continued to echo through the hallway. "True," he conceded, "but I never said I didn't enjoy a little game of cat and mouse, Y/N. It's not like we ended things on a bad note and you happily agreed to the divorce. And without hesitation, might I add," he held up a finger. You remained silent with a scowl on your face. "Listen, I may get the better of you, but you like me, right?" He acted normally as the negative expression on your face grew. "Let's catch up!"

You sighed, his demeanor both antagonizing and oddly nostalgic. "Fine, dinner it is. But I expect you to sign the papers after. I'm trying to get married again after all," you crossed your arms and leaned on one leg impatiently. You didn't know why you didn't lead with that in the first place.

Gojo's expression briefly dropped, his usual confident personality faltering for a moment. His eyes widened in surprise unbeknownst to you before he quickly masked his reaction with a smirk. "Well, well, well, Y/N," he said with a hint of his usual playfulness, "you don't waste any time, do you? Who's the lucky one this time?"

You ground your teeth at his question. He knew all the right ways to get under your skin, as he did with many people that knew him. But nonetheless, you decided to answer him.

"Their name is Seiko," you muttered, "and they're none of your business."

Gojo raised an eyebrow again, studying your face for a moment before letting out a low whistle. He knew he could get more out of you at the dinner. "Seems like I've got some competition, huh?"

"No," you quickly answered, glaring at him with all your might.

"Well," he clicked his tongue, "I guess I'll have to wish you the best."

Your mouth quivered into a smile. You could tell that he was being genuine with his last statement. You realized that beneath his hardened, exuberant exterior there might be a single hint of real concern for your happiness.

"What time?" You found yourself asking without extra thought, the quivering lips you had had turning into the tiniest smile. You internally scolded yourself for even trying to continue that conversation.

"What time for dinner?" Gojo repeated, tilting his chin upward in thought. "Are you free tonight?"

"T-tonight?" It was your turn to repeat. Gojo gave a single nod, still waiting for your answer. You had made plans with Seiko to go atop the Tokyo Tower later that evening but if getting this dinner over with meant accomplishing your mission, perhaps Seiko would understand. "I guess so."

"Great! Seven?" He tilted his chin downward this time, expectant of another answer. You stared at him angrily. He remembered you well enough to take that look as a 'yes.' "Perfect," he relaxed his smile and placed a hand on his doorknob, the other still holding your divorce papers. "And you're staying...?" You muttered your hotel name in response and then glanced at the pages he still had. "I'll keep these," he lifted them, "for safekeeping," he whispered and slowly shut the door.

"Gojo!" You tried to stop the door from closing, your foot darting out but it was too late. He had already shut and locked the door. "Great," you muttered to yourself. Of course this couldn't be easy.

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