#I just???? there is so much missing in that gap between *the incident* and the sudden jump to the tournament

[queencvbra]

heavy spoiler plot hole that came to mind

so when the fuck is tory's mom's funeral supposed to happen if everyone has already shipped off to spain. don't tell me that happened entirely off screen and they never address whether anyone went to it or so much as checked on her bc I will be pissed.

[hier--soir]

bite the bullet

joel miller x f!reader

rating: explicit, 18+ mdni summary: two idiots finally bite the bullet and admit how they feel. warnings/tags: [18+ minors DNI] fwb!joel, age gap [20 years], angst, miscommunication, a meddling Tommy Miller, soft sleepy sex, oral [f], unprotected piv, masturbation [f], rimming, sixty-nine, both of them are assholes for a minute, resolved emotional tension. word count: 9.4k [i got carried away sorry!] series masterlist | masterlist this is part four of my fwb!joel series. you can find the other parts here: one, two, three.

Everything was wet.

Your feet squelched against the ground as you moved, little flicks of water splashing up against your shins with every step. Inside waterlogged shoes your socks clung uncomfortably to your skin.

Tommy was crouched underneath your sink, inspecting the u-bend of the pipe there, his lower half damp from the water that covered the floor of your kitchen.

“It’s definitely comin’ from in here,” his muffled voice came, and you groaned, rubbing a hand over your face in exasperation. “I can stop it, but it’s gonna take some time for the place to dry out. I’d say you’d better clear out for a few days, leave a few windows open.”

You’d had a nice day. A lovely day, even. And you’d been looking forward to curling up with a whiskey and a good book before bed. But upon returning home from the greenhouse, you’d been horrified to find the entrance of your home covered in a thin layer of water. Splashing down the hall, you’d discovered that the entire place was wet; a shiny film of liquid coating anything that touched the ground. The wooden floorboards were soaked to the bone with cold water. A fucking flood. Thankfully Tommy was right, and you trusted that the August humidity would naturally dry it out with enough time.

“I can’t just stay here? I didn’t think it was too bad,” you lied. “Could lay down some towels.”

Tommy laughed under the sink. “You know you’ll get sick if you’re sleeping around all this water – towels or no towels.”

“Okay,” you acquiesced, gazing at the floor glumly. “Okay, yeah, I suppose I’ll uh… I’ll get some stuff together.”

“Joel would take you,” his said, and you snapped back to reality, staring at his back while he worked. You could practically hear the grin in his voice. When you didn’t respond, his head reappeared, and he looked at you curiously, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind his ear. “You and Joel are pals, right? Pals help each other out.”

Pals, you thought cynically. That’s one word for it.

Two weeks had slowly passed since the Peterson incident, and you’d only seen Tommy’s older brother a handful of times. There was still a tense energy between the two of you, so you’d been keeping your distance a little, allowing things to cool off. Bumping into each other here and there, dinner on the same table at the hall… but no alone time. No real time that would leave you two open to actually talking about it. That didn’t mean it didn’t play on your mind, though. Oh boy did it. In fact, most days you’d catch yourself gazing into a pot plant, thinking about that night. The way he’d taken you, made you tell him the details about Peterson, the way he’d showed you he fucking owned you. You couldn’t wrap your head around the way it had made you feel, and so you avoided it, even though your chest ached with the Joel-sized hole his absence had left in it. At least you weren’t so stubborn that you couldn’t admit to yourself how much you missed him.   

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously, and Tommy gave a polite shrug, smirking at you. Testing you. A huff escaped your lips, and you broke eye contact, stretching out your shoulder. “Yeah, alright, I’ll ask him,” you agreed begrudgingly, brain whirring trying to come up with excuses. “It’s late though, and he might not want me there.”

“It’s not that late, but sure,” he chuckled knowingly, going back to work on the pipe. “When hell freezes over and Joel says no to you, you let me know.”  

An hour later, you were on your best friend’s porch, a bag slung over your arm, hesitating with your knuckle raised in the air. Taking a deep breath and running through what you were going to say, you finally willed yourself to rap your fist twice against the wood.

After a moment, the door swung open to reveal Joel, in a soft wrinkled t-shirt.

An easy, involuntary smile spread across your face upon seeing him. His beard was a little longer than he usually kept it, greys sparkling through the dark hair that framed his mouth so handsomely. He had clearly been settling down for the night, and he looked oh so cosy dressed in his sleep clothes.

“Hey man,” you offered up a sheepish smile.

He looked appropriately surprised to see you, considering you certainly hadn’t been knocking on his door at any point in the past fortnight. One of his eyebrows hitched upward, and he eyed the bag over your shoulder warily. “You skippin’ town or something? Who’d you piss off this time?”

You rolled your eyes and readjusted the duffel. “You gonna let me inside? This thing’s kind of heavy.”

He stepped back into the entryway with a grunt, allowing you to breeze past him and dump the bag onto the ground with a low thud. “Pipe under my sink is busted. Flooded the whole place today – Tommy said I should clear out for a day or two.”

He hummed, narrowed eyes raking over your face. “Oh yeah? So where you gonna go?” he teased, and relief rushed through your veins like warm water as you recognised the smirk threatening to take over his face.  

You gave him a small laugh and sighed, holding your arms out in mock surrender. “Come on, Miller,” you said. “Let me crash here – I’ll owe you one.”

“Owe me one, huh?” his eyes shone with mischief. “Well I like the sound of that.” An odd, twisting sensation rippled through your stomach and you sucked your lips into your mouth, nodding slowly.

“Sure,” you retorted. “Whatever you want, it’s yours.” When the words left your lips you both stilled, staring at each other warily.

He hummed, eyes darkening a fraction. “You’re playin’ with fire,” is all he said, before bending down to pick the bag up off the ground and ushering you towards the stairs.

You wondered off ahead of him, and when you reached the landing you veered right, pushing open the door to the spare room. He didn’t follow you in immediately, instead pausing in the doorway with a frown plastered across his face. You hadn’t thought about where you’d be sleeping until the second you reached the top of the stairs, but you knew this was the right decision. Sharing a bed with Joel for a few days? Probably not a good idea. Unless of course, that was going to be how you repaid your debt…Thankfully, or unfortunately, he didn’t push it, dropping the bag gently in the corner of the room.

“Hope Ellie won’t be bothered I’m here for a few days,” you thought aloud. The tone noticeably shifted, and you almost at how Joel seemed to deflate.  

He leant an arm against the doorframe and sighed. “She ain’t spendin’ much time in the house these days,” he admitted quietly. “Stays in the bungalow or goes out. I doubt you’ll even see her.”

You hesitated for a second before asking, “Have you two spoken much lately?”

He scratched his chin for a moment. “You know the kid,” he shrugged. “She’s stubborn. M’tryin’ not to push it.” 

“It’ll be okay, Joel,” you offered softly. “She’ll come around.”

He assessed you silently, eyes flitting down your body before resting on your face once again, and then he stepped back into the hall. Coughing awkwardly, he raised a hand in a sort of farewell, and said, “Well, uh, you know where everything is. I’m gonna… I was gonna head to bed, I guess.”

“Okay,” you nodded, watching as he turned to head toward his room.

“Hey, Joel, wait,” you called, and he turned, eyes glimmering with something you couldn’t quite place. I miss you, you wanted to say. I miss you, and I’m sorry things are off between us, and I wish we could forget it all and go back to normal, and I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. “Thank you,” you said instead, voice soft. “I really appreciate this.”

The look in his eyes dimmed a little but he offered up a smile. He nodded once, said, “Glad to have you here,” and then closed his bedroom door, and leaving you alone with your thoughts.

After showering and unpacking the few things you brought along, you curled up in the foreign bed. The mattress was soft enough though, and the sheets smelled like the soap Joel used. Your body ached from a long day of work, muscles tense and wired from hauling heavy pots around under the sun. Soon enough, you began to relax enough to drift off to sleep. Only a few hours into the night though, your dreams were interrupted by the sound of soft footsteps padding across the landing. A beam of soft yellow light was shone into the room, painting the inside of your eyelids orange. Cracking an eye open, you saw that the door was ajar, and a tall figure was peering in.

“Joel?” you asked groggily, dragging a knuckle over your eyes.

“Yeah, it’s just me,” his deep voice came, but he made no move to enter the room. “Sorry to wake you.”

“Are you okay?”

“Can’t sleep,” he said softly, and your heart clenched.

Pulling the blankets open on the empty side of the bed, you didn’t even think before you said, “Get in.”

Your head fell heavily into the pillows, and sleep tried to pull you back under as you listened to Joel shuffle across the room and slide into the bed beside you. For a moment, he just laid there, a sizeable gap between you on the mattress. And then his warm, firm body was pressing up against your back, his large palm sliding over your hip to rest on your stomach and guide you back against his chest. His scent overwhelmed you, hints of mint and soap and pine tickling your nose, and fuck you had missed him. it was so familiar, and yet your body tingled as if it was the first time he’d ever laid a hand on you. Through the haze that settled over your sleep addled brain, you could feel him, stiff against your thigh.

“Jesus,” you teased drowsily, throwing caution to the wind by rubbing yourself back against him. “Were you having a dream about me or something?”

His nose traced a long down the back of your neck and you fought off a shiver. “Always dream about you.” If you weren’t so tired, that probably would’ve garnered a bigger reaction from you. But as it were, you just brought a hand down to rest over his on your stomach and gripped his fingers softly. “Was thinkin’ bout you being so close, yet still so far. Just down the hall, sleepin’ in my sheets…”

You hummed, warmth flooding your abdomen as he nudged his hips forward, rutting himself against you. His hand drifted out from under yours to slide up underneath your shirt, his thumb stroking the sensitive skin just below your breast.

“Joel,” you murmured, eyelids heavy.

He hummed eagerly, planting a soft kiss underneath your ear.

“I‘m so tired,” you said regretfully. “It’s been a long day – can hardly keep m’eyes open.”

“Let me help you fall asleep,” is all he said, hand now freely roaming over your chest. His thumb lightly brushed the firm peak of your nipple and your whole body shuddered. “Just relax.”

You were vaguely aware of him pulling the covers off you and moving down the bed, dragging soft kisses down your stomach, before dragging your underwear down your legs. Slumping into the soft bed, you allowed your eyes to flutter closed.

Gentle, reverent kisses were pressed over your hip bones as he settled between your legs, pulling one of your thighs up to rest over his shoulder. His long fingers rubbed over the muscles in your leg, pressing down gently when he found knots, pulling deep sighs of contentment out of you.  

“That feels nice,” you whispered into the darkness, and you could’ve sworn you felt him grin against your hip.

When his nose dragged through the dark hair on your mound you twitched slightly, body waking up a little at the sensation. But it was gone as quickly as it came, and you relaxed again, humming lowly as his pressed a kiss against the inner most point of your thigh.

It felt like hours passed with him between your legs. At first you allowed yourself to slip in and out of near sleep, eyes closed as lax puffs of air escaped your mouth while his tongue dipped gently between your folds, giving you soft lazy strokes that warmed your insides. When the first bit of slick began to seep out of you, he groaned gratefully, licking and sucking at your entrance, exulting in your taste.  

It felt like you were dreaming. Laying pliant on the bed, you were fully at his mercy, allowing him to move your legs anyway he wanted to give himself better access. You could vaguely hear him murmuring against your skin, but couldn’t make out the words over your own sighs, smiling sleepily as his tongue lapped against you. He worked slowly, and you realised that it was as much for his enjoyment as it was for your own. You knew by that point how much Joel enjoyed going down on you. He had told you as much on multiple occasions; how he’d love to spend hours with his face trapped between your thighs. But he’d never had the chance, or the patience, to really do it.

The sounds of his enjoyment vibrated against your core, echoing through the room around you. The way he fucking moaned into your cunt never failed to drive you crazy, but in that moment you just smiled at the sound, enjoying how peaceful it was, how sweet.

Every now and then you’d lazily blink your eyes open and look down, expecting that at any moment he’d pull away, be over it. But he never did. Every time you looked his eyes were closed, hands gripping your thighs softly, thumbs stroking rhythmically against your skin as content breaths rushed out of his nose, and you’d close your eyes again, the dark image of him scorched into the inside of your eyelids, never to be forgotten.

You started to feel more awake when he finally gave his undivided attention to the achingly sensitive bundle of nerves at the apex of your core. Moving painfully slow, he glided his firm tongue across your clit, switching it up between swiping back and forth across it and then circling it.

“Oh,” you murmured lowly, voice hoarse from lack of use, but you couldn’t help the soft exclamation as your hips shifted upwards, suddenly searching for more. He didn’t change a thing, pace never increasing or slowing down, and it was perfect.

Your orgasm washed over you in gentle waves. Joel’s tongue swirled slow, gentle circles around your clit and your thighs tensed around his head, fingers reaching down to softly rake through his curls. He hummed happily, tongue lathing against you, enjoying every second of your release. Only pausing once your body stopped twitching and the muscles in your thighs relaxed against him, before kissing way up your stomach, your neck, under he was holding himself over you.

Eyes still closed, your hands drifted to the back of his neck and you pulled him down, his weight crushing against you but you didn’t care. Yours lips met tentatively, and for a moment that was all it was. A soft, gentle kiss. And then you felt him, straining against his briefs, pressed between your thighs, and you pushed your tongue into his mouth. It was messy and slow, tongues tangling together, teeth knocking awkwardly, and you found yourself smiling into his mouth. It should have unnerved you. Should’ve been enough to make you stop, turn your head away and make him fuck you rough so you would forget how intensely intimate the moment felt. But you didn’t.

“You should sleep,” he murmured against your lips, pulling his hips back a little so his erection wasn’t so obvious.

“You should come inside me,” you whispered back, reaching down to grip the band of his underwear and tug them down over his hips. He groaned and kissed you again before reaching down to free himself from the confines of his underwear.  

No other words were exchanged as he adjusted himself, and then he was pressing into you, his needy moans spilling out against your neck while your hand snuck underneath his shirt, fingernails gliding down his back as he filled you completely.

“God, I missed you,” he choked out, voice cracking. You whimpered softly. “You’re so wet.”

“Made me feel so good, Joel,” you preened, kissing the side of his head.

“Yeah?” he pulled his face out of your neck to look at you, and you nodded, staring at him through bleary eyes. Joel kissed you again. A long, yearning kiss that made your heart throb, and it didn’t take long until he was falling apart on top of you, shaking against your arms that wrapped around him, held him against your chest. You whispered praises in his ear as he came, hips grinding into yours, pushing himself so deep inside that it had you gasping into his mouth. It was so unlike any other time you’d ever slept with him, and alarm bells rang somewhere far in the deep recess of your brain, but you ignored them. You’d missed each other, and you’d both earned a little softness after the time apart. And so the two of you fell asleep like that; tangled in each other’s arms, with him still inside you.

You woke up to the sun streaming in through the window. The light was harsh, and you cursed yourself for going to sleep without drawing the curtains. You went to sit up in the bed but stopped suddenly, realising how hot you were. With a soft start, you glanced down and understanding jolted through you like a flash of lightning. Joel’s house, you remembered; you were at Joel’s house. But what you hadn’t expected to find was Joel still in the bed, arms coiled around you like wire while he snored quietly in your ear. For as many times the two of you had slept together, neither of you had ever slept over. It was an unspoken rule, and one that had never been difficult to follow. But he’d broken it… or you’d both broken it, maybe. Keeping your body as still as possible, you found yourself breathing deeply, trying to maintain the allusion of still being asleep to avoid rousing him from his slumber. Frustratingly, your heart pounded in your chest, brain zeroing in on every part of your body that touched his.

His soft lips brushed the back of your neck, heavy breaths puffing against your skin. A solid knee was wedged between your legs, one hand lazily gripping your breast. The insides of your thighs were sticky where his come had leaked out of you overnight, and your eyes widened at the sensation. 

What surprised you the most wasn’t that you didn’t hate waking up with him beside you. No, what surprised you most was that you did like it. In fact, you found yourself longing to relax into his arms and go back to sleep. But common sense reared its head, and you slowly slipped out of his grasp, moving slowly so as not to wake him while you dragged yourself out of the bed. Staring down at Joel, a pang of fondness rush through your chest. Messy curls were strewn across his forehead, plump lips pushed out into a pout as he breathed deeply, hand resting on the empty bed where you had just laid. His breathing hitched momentarily, and you froze, realising how odd it would be for him to wake up and catch you standing there naked, staring. Trying not to give it another thought, you quietly collected some clothes from your bag, and slipped out of the room to start your day.

Hours passed in the greenhouse. You distracted yourself with cucumber seeds and tomato plants, pushing Joel out of your mind as you worked under the sweltering sun. Underneath the glass roof of the nursery, the heat multiplied, and by the time your shift was over you were covered in sweat, shirt ticking uncomfortably tight to your back. You stopped by at the community hall for dinner and ate alone, your brain a whirlwind of thoughts of Joel, Joel, Joel. You couldn’t shake the feeling that had lingered in your bones all day; the aching desire to have stayed in bed with him, to have relaxed into his arms and cuddled him for the rest of the morning. Your best friend, for fuck’s sake.

“Christ,” you mumbled aloud through a mouthful of food, rolling your eyes at yourself.

It felt like you were going crazy, but the worst part was understanding that this must’ve been how he’d been feeling for weeks already.

I’ve never asked you for anything. Not for anything more than what we’ve been doin’, never pushed you for more.

That’s what he’d said, two weeks ago, the day he found out about Peterson. The words played in your head like a mantra. Words that you had firmly avoided bringing up, ones you’d never pushed for an explanation about. You’d chosen to sweep them under the rug, and yet, as hard as you tried, you couldn’t fucking forget them.

By the time you returned to his house you discovered him sitting on the couch downstairs, engrossed in a book. It was the picture of domesticity. The sweet scent of vanilla floated through the air towards you, and you noted the small candle burning on the table beside him.

Staying in Joel’s home, even for just one night, you’d noticed so much more about it than ever before. There was something interesting to look at everywhere you turned, and sweet-scented candles were just the tip of the iceberg. He left random objects littered across countertops, like little treasures for you to stop and inspect during your travels throughout the house. Wood that he’d whittled into interesting shapes, books that he’d read the first few pages of and then abandoned, countless mugs in odd places with dark brown coffee stains at the bottom of them. It was homey, and warm, and subconsciously you found yourself enjoying the insight into his most private space – into the things he did when he was truly alone.

Joel hadn’t noticed you come in, so you seized the opportunity to watch him from the doorway for a moment. He was wearing his comfortable clothes again, and a thin set of reading glasses were perched on the scarred bridge of his nose. A quick flash of heat tore through your stomach. You’d never seen him wear those before, and it had you stumped. The glasses, paired with the salt and pepper through his beard and hair, reminded you of his age. Twenty years older than you, and still the most handsome man you knew.

You finally broke the silence, announcing yourself by asking, “What’re you reading?”

Joel’s head snapped up, and he stared at you over the top of his glasses. Shutting the book quickly, he straightened up on the couch. “Uh, Brave New World,” he lied, flipping the book so you couldn’t see the cover.

You hummed, unconvinced, and bit down on your bottom lip to hide a smirk. Tommy had told you once before that Joel was a sucker for gothic romance novels, but you’d never truly believed him until that moment. From where you stood, you recognised the tattered copy of Wuthering Heights that had gone missing from your bedroom a few months prior.

A flush rose in his cheeks and he coughed awkwardly, picking up a mug that you hadn’t noticed on the floor by his feet. It was cute; a little beige ceramic thing, with an owl painted on it.

“You see the patrol roster for tomorrow?” he spoke into the mug, swiftly changing the subject.

“I did,” you murmured. What you didn’t acknowledge, was that you’d also seen Peterson and Davis’ names on the list for the morning patrol. “Should be nice. We haven’t gone to the ski lodge in a while.”

A vivid memory of you two fucking up there raced through your mind, and a low heat simmered across your face as you remembered Jesse and Dina almost catching you once. Shaking the thought from your mind, you looked at him again to find him gripping the mug tightly, lips pursed in thought.

“We haven’t,” he agreed lowly, and the corner of his mouth twitched a little. “You haven’t been gettin’ called outside the gates much at all these days.”

This is it, you thought hungrily. This is the moment he tells you how he can’t wait to fuck you there tomorrow while you’re supposed to be patrolling. This is the moment he tells you he can’t even wait until tomorrow, and he drags you upstairs to his bed. Warmth flooded through your thighs, and you held your breath, staring at him.

But Joel didn’t say that. Instead, you watched dejectedly from the doorway as he rose slowly from the couch and tucked the tattered book underneath his arm. “Well,” he coughed, turning towards the stairs. “I’m gonna get some shut eye. It’ll be a warm day, and I’d better get some rest before we head out.”

You watched him move towards the stairs, heart beating painfully fast against your ribs.

“I’m actually not tired,” you blurted out. Joel paused. His left hand gripped the banister, and you could’ve sworn it might break in half based on the way his knuckles went white.

“Well, I am,” he said over his shoulder, before padding up towards his room , not even turning to give you a second look.

You tossed and turned for an hour, staring at the ceiling wide awake. The linen sheets stuck to your sweaty skin, making you feel claustrophobic enough to kick them to the end of the bed. You waited for him. Every creak and groan the old house made had your ears twitching, eyes glancing eagerly toward the door, expecting it to creak open and reveal him sneaking in through the darkness.

And when it became clear that he wasn’t coming, you pushed away the uncomfortable feeling it brought, and snaked a hand past the band of your underwear. Your fingers raked over the coarse hair there, teasing yourself for a moment, before you slid a finger through your damp folds. Collecting your slick, you dragged it up to coat your throbbing nerves and sighed in relief.

Your middle finger dragged quick circles over your clit, and all you could picture was Joel above you, fucking you while wearing those stupid fucking glasses. Cursing him in your mind, you pressed a finger past your entrance, and huffed in frustration at how it paled in comparison to the thickness of his digits. You imagined the way the glasses would fall to the tip of his nose, almost falling off his face while he fucked you so hard you saw stars. In an attempt to stifle the soft moans trying to escape your mouth, you bit down on your bottom lip, fingers moving quicker against yourself. And you came like that; hand down your underwear, rubbing yourself frantically, thinking about nothing but him.

It was hot, and the skin of your thighs chafed painfully as you and Joel ambled silently through the stables, getting your horses from their stalls to saddle up. He hadn’t said much to you all morning and you were trying not to read into it, but the fraught silence had you on edge.  

You winced upon spotting Davis and Peterson standing by the gate, chatting while they loaded their rifles. Lloyd caught your eye and smiled, offering a short nod in your direction. You returned the nod before looking back down and fiddling with Japan’s saddle, hoping Joel hadn’t noticed.

“Gimme a sec,” he muttered. “Gotta go pick Jesse’s brain.”

You hummed in acknowledgement and continued tugging on the straps of the saddle, until your skin prickled, a presence looming over your shoulder.

“Should we see if we can swap partners?” that voice sounded, and you turned to see Lloyd smirking suggestively at you. “Send Davis and Miller out East together, and you and me could head to the ski lodge?”

Your palms dampened a little and your eyes darted around the stables. There was no denying that Lloyd Peterson was a handsome guy. He was young, somewhere in his early-twenties. He had bright green eyes that shone in contrast against the dark brown hue of his skin. Straight, bright white teeth almost blinded you whenever he smiled, and you’d have to be a robot not to be effected by it. Past his shoulder, you spotted Joel hovering at the mouth of the stables, gaze trained on the pair of you. Caught, he turned quickly, muttering under his breath as he stalked off toward Jesse.

You looked back to Lloyd and shook your head once. “I don’t think so,” you said. “Gonna stick with Miller today.”

Not giving him much chance to respond, you gripped Japan’s reigns and led her out of the building. Joel and Jesse were talking in hushed tones by the gate, and you walked in their direction, pausing a few metres away when you noticed how tense the conversation seemed to be. Jesse was frowning at the older man, shaking his head slowly.

“Hey,” Lloyd’s voice came again, and you turned with a sigh, raising a hand to block out the sun as you stared up at him. “Can we talk?”

“Talk,” you rushed out, glancing to the side just as Joel appeared beside you, holding out a rifle. You shouldered it quickly, noticing the way Lloyd seemed to balk at the older man’s presence. “Peterson,” you urged, eager to get it over with. “Get on with it.”

He spared another awkward glance at Joel before speaking in a lowered voice. “Did I do something wrong?” You cringed, knowing Joel could hear every word, and yet he didn’t move a muscle. It seemed he wasn’t going anywhere, eyes trained on the man, uninterested in offering the pair of you any privacy to finish your conversation. “I thought we had a good time, y’know? But you’ve been avoiding me.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” you replied plainly, even as the thought of him telling Davis about fucking you flashed through your mind. Joel was deadly quiet, eyes flicking between the pair of you like he was watching a game of tennis. You sighed deeply, wishing this wasn’t happening in front of him. In a moment of almost… shame, you realised that you didn’t want Joel to get the wrong idea. Didn’t want him to think that anything else had happened, or would ever happen, between you and Peterson.

“Then why won’t yo-“

“Why don’t you back off kid,” Joel interrupted suddenly, and your shoulders tensed, skin prickling at his harsh tone. “She’s not interested.”

Lloyd flinched at the words, and he looked to you, waiting for you to say something, to refute Joel’s claim. But you were distracted by the sudden warmth in your abdomen, and when you didn’t react quick enough he scoffed quietly, spinning on his heel and walking back where Davis was waiting with their horses. When you looked at Joel, he had a pleased smirk on his face, and you felt your stomach fall somewhat, guilt spreading through you at the way Lloyd rode out of the settlement without looking back.

The ride to the ski lodge was long. For the most part of the three hour trek, you rode alongside each other in silence, until finally you couldn’t help yourself, thoughts tumbling from your mouth.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said quietly.

Joel looked at you out of the corner of his eye, and didn’t say a word.

“He was already embarrassed,” you added. His top lip curled up into a mean smirk.

“Peterson’s an ass. He should be embarrassed.”

A huff escaped your mouth and then he was turning, looking at you fully now with his eyebrows pinched together.

“What, your little boyfriend can’t handle some friendly teasin’?” he sneered, the change in mood so sudden you almost fell off your horse. And all the warmth you’d felt, every soft yearning part inside of you toward him, you pushed it to the side and focused on the confusion instead, allowing it to morph into pure anger. You were seeing red; furious with him for never being able to just see reason.

“Oh, fuck off Joel,” you scowled. “I’m not doing this with you today.” You kicked your heel against Japan’s hide and rode ahead, not listening for a reaction.

The higher the pair of you rode up the mountain, the hotter it got. By the time the horses were tied up by a trough of water and the pair of you were walking into the lodge, sweat was rolling down your skin in rivulets. A headache brewed in your temples, and frustration weighed heavily on your chest as Joel huffed and puffed around the room. Even being able to hear his breathing across the room while he scrawled in the logbook was enough to set your skin on edge. Eager to get some space from the tense atmosphere, you gruffly told him that you were taking first patrol, before shouldering your rifle and stalking back outside into the heat.

“You idiot,” you scowled to yourself, storming through the trees. Shame burned in your chest like a wildfire as you thought back to the night before. Touching yourself in his house, making yourself come thinking about him, wondering if he’d fuck you at the ski lodge. God, you felt like a teenager with a hopeless crush.

Your feet planted in the dirt, the word ringing in your head like an alarm. Eyes wide, you gazed into the trees.

“Nope,” you mumbled, starting to walk again slowly. “No, no, no.”

“Y’know they say talkin’ to yourself is the first sign of madness.”

Fuck.

“What are you doing?” you turned quickly, staring him down from through the thick trees. “I told you I’d take first patrol.”

“Yeah, I heard that. Saw you storm off too,” Joel rolled his eyes, propping his hands against his hips. “What’s your problem?”

“Jesus,” you grinned sarcastically. “I should be the one asking that question.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” he frowned, stepping forward. The tan skin of his neck glistened in the sunlight, and you hated yourself for wanting to know how it tasted. Thankfully, hatred and anger were easier emotions to tap into than whatever the fuck you had been feeling about him for the past few weeks.  

“It means,” you ground out. “That you’re a nasty old bastard.” His face darkened, lips twisted into an angry snarl, but you continued. “Peterson’s not my fucking boyfriend, so you can give it a rest okay? I had it handled.”

“Sure,” he laughed bitterly. “Don’t act like you didn’t love it, havin’ him hit on you right in front of me. You get off on the attention, from him and from me. I bet you loved havin’ me step in, tell him to fuck off.”

Your face was on fire as you glared at him, acutely aware of how the tension had spiked between the pair of you. Entire body tensed, you squared your shoulders and stared him down. “Are you fucking serious, Joel?” you asked lowly, eyebrows raising.

“Deadly,” he grit his teeth. “Don’t forget that I know you, baby, better than anyone.”

“No, you fucking don’t,” you spat desperately, turning around and walking quickly in the opposite direction.

“Oh yeah,” he called, the sound of his footsteps following closely behind you making your stomach drop. “Walk away, sunshine. Let’s just not talk about it, right? I know that’s your favourite thing to do. Walk away, and act like nothing happened.”

“Oh my god!” you shouted. “Grow up, you fucking assho-“ But as you spoke, your foot landed awkwardly on a patch of moss. You heard a low popping sound before you shrieked as your legs flew out from underneath you. You hit the ground awkwardly, ass slamming into the ground, and dirt sprayed into the air around you.

“Shit,” you hissed, moving to get up but cringing as a sharp pain shot through your ankle. The flesh around your shin was already swelling, and you cursed audibly, reaching down to rest your hand against it only to wince at the dull pain spreading through your entire foot.

“Jesus Christ,” you heard him say, and then his warm hands were on your shoulders, and he was crouching beside you. Breathing heavily, you stared as your ankle swelled to the size of a golf ball. “Come on, let’s get you back,” Joel said, gripping your elbow to lift you up.

“Get off,” you snapped, shoving him back. He stumbled a little and then stood, glaring down at you. “I can do it myself.”

“Clearly you fuckin’ can’t.”

Eager to prove a point, you dug your fingers into the dirt and pushed yourself up, and then began limping back towards the ski lodge.

You moved slowly with Joel trailing just a few steps behind, close enough that you could hear his breathing, and the way he muttered inaudibly whenever you stumbled. When you almost tripped trying to step over a tree branch, he snapped, appearing at your side in an instant and wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Joel,” you warned lowly, but he interrupted.

“Would you stop bein’ such a brat,” he snarled. “You might’ve broken your fuckin’ ankle, just let me help you god damnit.”

You grumbled under your breath but didn’t fight him again, silently grateful to lean on him and get some weight off the injury. His chest rose and fell quickly as he led you back to the lodge, and you could practically feel the anxiety radiating from him.

“It’s not broken,” you muttered. “Probably just a sprain.”

“Good,” he grunted, helping you up the steps and into the building. “Idiot.”

“Jeez, thanks, Joel,” you said bitterly. “You’re a real pal.”

His hand gripped your waist tighter, before lowering you onto the couch. “Any time, bud.”

Joel stormed into the kitchen and returned moments later with a bottle of water, tossing it at you before slamming down onto the sofa beside you. “Jesse and Dina will be here in a few hours, just keep it elevated until then.”

“You got it doc,” you rolled your eyes, eagerly gulping down the water even though it had gotten uncomfortably warm in his pack.

The pair of you sat in silence for a while, your ankle throbbing where it rested atop the coffee table.  

“I don’t fuckin’ get you,” Joel finally breathed, and you looked to him with a raised eyebrow and a snarky comment on your lips, only to find him with his head tilted back against the couch, eyes closed.

“What?” you asked dumbly.

“You heard me,” he said. “I don’t fuckin’ get you. You go two weeks avoidin’ me, I hardly see you, then you’re knocking on my door, askin’ to stay? And then today you’re cursin’ my goddamn name. Throw me a fuckin’ bone, darlin’, cause I got no idea where I stand with you.”

Your lips parted, all the breath in your lungs rushing out of you in one fell swoop. His eyebrows were furrowed, a deep frown settled across his face, and his arms crossed against his chest. He didn’t look angry, you realised. He looked confused; he looked hurt. Your stomach rolled.

“I could say the same,” you started pathetically, and then his eyes flashed open and he was staring back at you with those dark brown eyes that fucking killed you.

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he said blankly, eyes darting around your face.

Your lips felt numb as you slowly asked, “What?”

“You left,” he said quietly. “You fuckin’ left me, and I just don’t know if I can keep pretendin’ anymore. Pretend that this doesn’t… mean anything to me. Pretend that I’m fine with… this. Don’t know if I can keep doing it if you’re just gonna leave. My heart can’t take it.”

It felt like time stood still for a moment. Outside one of the open windows, you could hear the trees rustling in the hot summer wind. Your ankle ached. Joel kept staring at you.

“You know that’s the best I’ve slept in years?” he asked softly, licking his lips. “Slept so fuckin’ sound with you next to me. No nightmares – hell, I didn’t even dream. And then I woke up, and you were gone, and I almost wished it had never happened. So that I wouldn’t have to know how good it felt to have you, wouldn’t have to try and sleep without you every night after, knowing exactly what I was missing.”

“Joel,” you tried again but he shook his head, raising a hand in the air to stop you.

“Just let me,” he took a deep breath, his shoulders shaking. “Let me say this. Just once, and then I’ll let it be, okay? I won’t bring it up again, and we can go back to the way things were befo-“

“Stop,” you croaked out, tears swimming in your eyes. “Shut up for a second. I,” you paused, eyes darting over his face, searching for understanding. “I didn’t want to leave, okay? But I’m scared Joel. Jesus, I’m so scared of this.”

“Scared?”

“Of this feeling that won’t go away. Of wanting to stay. I’ve been trying to push it down, to ignore it, and it doesn’t fucking work, no matter what I do. I’m so scared that I’ve fucked up our friendship, that I’m going to lose yo-“

“Never,” he shook his head firmly, hand reaching out to squeeze your knee. “Listen, you’re not losin’ me, okay? That's never gonna happen.”

“But Joel,” you sighed shakily. “If we push things further, there’s no going back. Don’t you understand?”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” he admitted quietly. “I think it’s been too late for me for a while now.”

You stared at him with wide eyes, and when you spoke again you could hear the fear in your voice. “I don’t know if I can be what you want.”

Joel chuckled humourlessly and sighed, squeezing your thigh again.

“It’s you,” he said. “That’s what I want. You don’t have to do anythin’, don’t have to change or be anythin’ else. I just want you.” His eyes shone in earnest, and you couldn’t help but surge forward, planting your lips against his. He returned the kiss with fervour, parting your lips with his tongue and gripping the sides of your face in a searing grip.

He tasted like salt and mint and your head was swimming, consumed by him. Your fingertips were numb as they raced over his body, desperate to touch him everywhere all at once. You fumbled with the buttons on his shirt until his hands joined yours, carefully undoing them all until you could pry it off him.

Pulling back from the kiss, you allowed your eyes to rake over his exposed chest, taking in the sight of his tanned, hairy chest, littered with scars and freckles and you felt the urge to kiss every single one of them. So you did. You pushed him back into the couch and straddled him, ignoring the way your ankle cried out at the movement, and attached your lips to his collarbone, licking and sucking your way across his torso. Showing reverence to every imperfection on his skin. Your tongue swiped past one of his nipples and he jolted beneath you, hands dragging under the fabric of your shirt to rest on your back. You could feel him growing hard beneath you and you smiled against his skin before rolling your hips down against his. He was murmuring your name in between sighs, scratching at your skin, revelling in the kisses you sponged across his chest.

Your eyes trailed upwards to meet his. “Want your cock in my mouth,” you whispered, and his face crumpled in on itself, eyes rolling back into his head.

“Fuck,” he sighed, gripping your hands tightly before pushing you off him. He stood up and in one quick movement he knocked the coffee table over, before he was undoing his belt and stripping his pants off. He helped you off the couch slowly, before lowering you down onto the carpet, crouching down to rest beside you. His large hands roamed across your chest, gripping the hem of your shirt and tugging it upward to expose your breasts, your aching nipples peaked and begging to be touched.

“Fuck,” he repeated, harsher this time, leaning over you to plant his mouth on your chest. His teeth scraped across your sensitive skin and you whined, gripping the nape of his neck as he took one of your nipples into his mouth and sucked gently.

“Joel,” you mewled, tugging his face back up to yours for a brief kiss. “I mean it,” you breathed into his mouth. “Need you in my mouth so bad. M’gonna make you feel so good, I swear.” Within a second, he flipped the two of you over so his back was against the ground and you were straddling his hips. You grinned triumphantly, shifting your hips back as you kissed down his chest, moving your body down until you were straddling his shins, and pulling his briefs down with you.

His cock rested proudly against his stomach, thick and swollen and begging to be touched. The head was a deep shade of red, small beads of precum weeping out of his tip as he stared at you, patiently waiting for you to make a move. You didn’t waste a second before leaning down and gliding your tongue softly over the tip, swiping up his salt and humming at the taste. A sharp inhale whistled past his teeth, and you watched his eyes clamp shut at the sensation, hand forming a fist at his side. Gently, you took his hand and raised it to your head, encouraging him to touch you. He obliged, fisting your hair in his hand, grip tightening as you parted your lips around him and let him sink into your warm mouth. A long, drawn-out moan left his mouth and your cunt pulsed in response, the warmth between your thighs suddenly impossible to ignore.

“S-so good for me,” he groaned, pulling your hair tighter. “Love your mouth, I love it. That’s it, baby, open up a little more for me, show me how much you can take.”

The sharp sting on your scalp made you moan around him, and he cursed, undoubtedly feeling the vibration. The weight of him against your tongue was intoxicating, and you bobbed your head up and down slowly, his cock gliding in and out of your mouth easily, slick with your spit. You’d missed the taste of him, missed the sensation of him filling you up to the point where it was hard to breathe, and yet you still wanted more. You pressed forward, eager to feel him fill you up, but when his cock brushed the back of your throat he was gripping your hair and pulling you off him.

“Turn around,” he ordered, and you looked up in confusion. His bottom lip was bitten raw, and his eyes were a darker brown than normal as he gazed at you. When you didn’t move, he was pulling you up and turning your body so your back was to him, and only then did you realise what he meant. He pulled your shorts down your legs, dragging your underwear with them, and then he carefully tugged one of your knees up and over his shoulder, so you were straddling his chest. Slowly, you shuffled back on your knees until your wet heat was hovering over his face, and you leaned down to let your chest rest against his.

“Baby,” Joel sighed. “So fuckin’ perfect. Such a pretty pussy. Can never get enough of you.”

You clenched around nothing, and heard him groan, signalling that he’d seen it. Without warning, his tongue dipped between your folds and you gasped, pushing your hips back to give him a better angle, before taking him back into your mouth. And it was nothing like it had been two nights before. He wasn’t gentle, or slow, or relaxed. No, Joel was relentless.

His tongue moved rhythmically against you, and you tried desperately to focus, harsh breaths leaving your nose as you moved your mouth lazily along his length. You pulled back and lathed your tongue around the head of him, tasting the salt that dripped out of him. He grunted into you and you smiled, stroking him slowly as you sucked the tip, grinding your tongue into the sensitive skin just underneath his head. Joel’s hips bucked up off the ground, and your hand left his length, gripping his waist firmly to hold him down while you took him into your mouth again. You pushed yourself as far as you could, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed as he brushed the back of your throat. His beard scratched against your inner thighs deliciously, and you decided you loved it a little longer. And then suddenly, his tongue moved away from your clit and he was licking broad strokes along the entirety of your core, and then over your entrance, and then… his tongue flicked all the way back and into new territory.

You flinched forward, his cock surging deeper into your throat and you gagged around him as you explored the new feeling. You moaned, eyes screwing shut at the foreign sensation, and you felt your legs begin to shake against his sides. His hands gripped your hips and pulled you down harder against his face, ruthlessly dragging his tongue back and forth from your clit to your hole, until you were tearing your mouth away him and sitting up, grinding yourself down desperately against his face. Arching your back, you writhed on top of him, crying out hoarsely. Every strong flick of his tongue felt like an electric shock jolting through your body, and he continued until you were panting and twitching on top of him, and then you let go. The orgasm tore through you, a shout falling from your lips as you rode his face, gripping his thighs for leverage as your entire body shuddered with the intensity. He didn’t let up; licking and sucking and kissing, his moans vibrating through your core until you were whimpering and dragging yourself off him, clit aching from the pressure.

You were still trembling with the aftershocks of your orgasm when Joel pressed your back down onto the carpet, nudged your knees apart so he could fit between them, and pushed himself inside you. A sweet, low burn blazed in your abdomen with every inch he gave to you. The wet sound of you sucking him in might have embarrassed you, but the look of awe on his face as he stared down at where you were connected just made you feel powerful.

His thrusts were strong, the sweaty skin of your thighs smacking against each other noisily filling the air, mixing with your breathless moans of his name.

“So fuckin’ tight,” he was saying, but you weren’t listening, eyes rolling back in your head as he played with your nipples, pinching and rolling them between his fingers.

“Fuck, Joel,” you cried out at a particularly hard thrust, stomach tensing as the head of his cock grinded against your g-spot.

“There?” he panted, and you nodded frantically, mouth hanging open as he pressed against it over and over again, groaning at the way you tensed around him.

Urgent sounds left your lips as you felt yourself nearing the edge again, and you watched with wide eyes as his hand trailed down your chest to rest over your mound, his thumb slipping between your folds to press gently against your throbbing clit. Your back arched up from the ground and you choked out a moan as he rubbed you in slow circles, a stark contrast to the way he drilled into you with his cock.  

“Come,” Joel encouraged and you whimpered, eyes screwing shut as the overwhelming feeling soared through you. His free hand landed over your throat and your eyes flew open, looking up at him as he applied soft pressure to the sides of your neck. “C’mon baby, let me have it. I can feel you, you’re so fuckin’ close, give it to me, please, I want it.”

His words pushed you over the edge, and you gasped against his hold, bucking up into him as he fucked you roughly. You twitched and writhed on the ground, his thumb never stopping its movements against your clit as you cried out his name.

And somewhere amidst it all, his movements slowed. His hands turned soft on your body, head dropping down to drag gentle wet kisses along the skin of your neck.  

“So good,” he praised lowly. “So beautiful.” Your heart soared in your chest, and you smiled drowsily, body tingling as he continued to give you gentle thrusts.  

“Kiss me,” you said shyly, and Joel smiled, leaning down to press his lips to yours. You sighed into his mouth, gliding the tip of your tongue along his bottom lip as you draped your heavy arms around his neck, pinning his torso down against yours. “Fuck me like this,” you told him. “Want to feel you close to me.”

He nodded, starting up a slow rhythm, only ever pulling out halfway before pressing back into you. You were both slick with sweat, and you wiped his forehead gently before raking your fingers through his thick messy curls. His face was red from exertion, and you thumbed his cheekbones gently. A heavy sigh fell from your mouth. Still recovering from your previous orgasm, you knew it wouldn’t be hard for him to build you up for another one.

“Give me one more,” he begged, sponging feather light kisses over your eyelids, your cheeks, down your neck. “Want to feel you come with me, baby, please. Just one more, I know you can.”

You gripped his hair and kissed him deeply, your tongues tangling together as he moved his hips slowly, cock dragging in and out of you at a devastating pace. Joel pulled back to watch you, eyes gazing down with adoration as he moved above you. That familiar liquid heat began to burn in your stomach, curling through every fibre of your being, and you could see in his face that he was close. And there was something else there too. Something you couldn’t place; simmering in his eyes, lingering on the tip of his tongue, begging to be said. His hips began to stutter against yours, a choked gasp of your name falling from his lips as he quickened his pace until you were coming together, holding each other tightly on the ground of the ski lodge. He moaned heavily against your mouth, and you throbbed around him as his spend coated your walls, warm and slick, squeezing out around his cock as he moved.

As a low, warm silence filled the room, you worked to control your breathing, body shaking against his as he pulled out of you. You whimpered at the empty feeling, missing the weight of him already. But he didn’t go far.

Joel laid down on the carpet beside you, draping an arm around your shoulders and tugging you into his chest. Your fingers trailed over the skin of his stomach, smiling at the goosebumps that developed in your wake. Mine.

His hand caught yours and he lifted it to his mouth, kissing the back of it gently. You leaned forward to rest your face in the rook of his neck, and he sighed in contentment, trailing his fingers down your back.

“Hey Joel?” you murmured against his skin.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry I called you a nasty old bastard.”

Joel laughed and tightened his grip around your back, tugging you closer to his chest. “I forgive you.”

[moonydustx]

I look better under you

Based on the song Snooze - Sza

Roronoa Zoro x F!Reader

Warnings: smut, mentions of scars, jealousy. Doesn't exactly follow plot canon.

Summary: After two years apart after the incident with Kuma in Sabaody, you and Zoro meet again.

A/N: I was thinking about doing some stories based on songs, especially in the future using one from Cowboy Carter for Ace because it makes so much sense to me. While that doesn't happen, we're left with Snooze, which is one of my favorites from Sza.

requests open | one piece masterlist

Long as you dreamin' 'bout me, ain't no problem

I don't got nobody, just with you right now

Tell the truth, I look better under you

I can't lose when I'm with you

How can I snooze and miss the moment?

You just too important

Nobody do body like you do

Your body itched when you saw a handful of greenish hair appearing on the horizon of the Sabaody archipelago. It was two long years without seeing each other, without talking, without the little escapades in the crow's nest where you spent hours tangled up in each other. Before you could prepare to talk to him, Sanji and Luffy also appeared in your field of vision, running in some direction you hadn't noticed yet.

"Let's go!" Luffy passed you who immediately started running to keep up with them.

"Finally a beautiful and real woman." Sanji's eyes practically threw hearts in your direction. "So beautiful, so fragrant, so..."

For a few seconds you thought Zoro was going to complain about Sanji, like they always did, but he remained quiet just as he didn't show any reaction when he saw you.

Your companions didn't know about the little escapades the two of you had and for a long time it was what made sense to you. Until your eyes witnessed Kuma erase Zoro's existence before your eyes, at least that's what you believed for a while.

"Isn't that the pretty girl from Thriller Bark?" Sanji caught your attention. A few meters away you recognized the pink hair and the gothic style.

The woman's face was almost glued to Zoro's as she yelled at him. Too close to be just a coincidence. "Why haven't you left here yet?" "I brought you here for nothing." Perhaps your vision was obstructed by the anxiety of being back - which now became a bitterness on your lips. Apparently the two years passed differently for him.

Ignoring the confused feelings, you and your companions ran towards the Sunny and before the navy even thought about reaching you, the ship was already sailing towards the next island.

"It's so good to have everyone back!" Nami hugged you tightly in a hug. "Come on, tell me what you were doing this whole time."

Islands with carnivorous plants, strange laboratories, giant birds, a castle with a certain girl with pink hair. Zoro was sitting next to you. As they listened to everyone talk, something about his posture seemed to show some discomfort in being there.

Everyone seemed to accumulate stories and adventures to tell and despite the small puddle of hurt that accumulated in you, you were happy to see your friends again.

"And you." Robin turned towards you. "What challenges have you encountered?"

"I went to a village that was being attacked by venomous insects. We had to keep shooting at them all the time and maybe that improved my aim." You took one of the small knives from your waistband and threw it past the small gap between Nami's neck and hair.

"Shown off." Zoro murmured next to you, attracting your attention for a brief second.

"Did the animals do this?" Usopp pointed to your arm.

Attracting everyone's eyes, you turned your arm, showing the scars that started on your fingers and went almost to the height of your shoulder.

"No." you smiled sympathetically as the shooter looked on attentively. "Let's just say not everyone on this island was nice or interested in the end of the demonic insects."

The others nodded and it didn't take long for them to engage in another story, paying attention to all the news. Even though you weren't looking in his direction, you could feel yourself being watched the entire time.

After a long conversation, everyone decided to explore Sunny. Review what they left behind, prepare for the next challenges. Before you could do the same, you felt an arm pulling you towards one of the rooms.

"What the hell is this." you saw Zoro in your field of vision. One of his hands closed the door and the other rested on the side of your head.

He tried again and saw you repeat the gesture. It took his brain a few seconds to process all the possibilities.

"It's been so long." he murmured, his face seeking the direction of your lips. Begrudgingly, you dodged his kiss. "What?"

"I understand." he started walking away. "Two years is too long, I understand that maybe you found someone else."

"I did this?" The tone of his voice was shrill and full of indignation. "Says the guy who was with the goth girl there. Did you enjoy your enchanting romance in an incredible castle?"

"Are you crazy?" Zoro analyzed you for a few seconds, seeing how safe it was to approach you. His hands found your chin and when you tried to move away from his touch, Zoro held on even tighter. "You know I had nothing to do with her. You know no one is like you."

Your own hands found his and went up to your face, relief was written on your face. Gently, one of your fingers traced the scar that closed his eye.

"Who made this?" you whispered, wanting to hold that little moment between the two of you.

"No one that matters now." He turned his face, kissing one of your hands. His gaze soon reached your immense scar. "About what you said outside, who was the bastard that hurt you?"

"No one that matters now." You smiled, enjoying his touch on your face. "You know I hate her, don't you?"

"Perona?"

"I wish I had killed that bitch in Thriller Bark!" you grumbled, earning a laugh from Zoro.

He wanted to kiss you, heavens he wanted to be able to take you there but he had missed hearing you too much and seeing your eyes shining in his direction. Everything else could wait.

"You only say that because she was playing with the ghosts and you."

"Exactly." your hands went down to the back of his head, pulling him closer. "I'd kill that bitch again just to think of her stealing what's mine."

You could feel Zoro's laughter almost on your skin, given the proximity. "So jealous" he murmured and before his lips stole yours, the two of you were interrupted when you were thrown from the door and the presence of a euphoric Luffy appeared.

"Let's eat! Sanji is going to make a huge feast for you and us." he pulled you by the shoulders. "Can you get your knife between Brook's ribs, say yes, please."

"Does he know you want to do this?" you asked him, taking advantage of Zoro's support to stand up.

"He said he'll accept it, if you let him see the color of your panties." Luffy spoke with a naturalness that brought laughter from you and a groan from the swordsman.

"He won't see, but..." you warned, tugging at the waistband of your pants. "It's pink, with white polka dots." Brook's scream outside indicated that he had heard the entire conversation and had probably combusted.

"Hit his head." Zoro grumbled, leaving the room before you.

A lot of thrown knives, a huge feast made by Sanji - and considering that Luffy ate more than half of it claiming he missed the food the cook made. You watched some of your friends retreat to your quarters.

"Has anyone seen Zoro?"

"He said he would be upstairs if anyone needed him." Chopper warned you and you thanked him, leaving him behind.

Knowing he would probably be alone, you walked up the stairs to the crow's nest and entered unceremoniously. Zoro was lying down, contemplating the ceiling.

"I thought it would take longer." He stood up, coming towards you.

"It's just that everyone is going to sleep, I think we can talk properly now." the words barely had space to leave your lips before Zoro reached you and crashed his lips into yours.

Your hands were against his chest and even though you wanted to move away to at least try to talk before finding out what happened during this time outside, Zoro's lips took yours in an intoxicating way. Honey, drinks and longing mixed in your mouths.

"We can talk later." he murmured, almost reading your thoughts. "I just miss you."

"Me too." your lips heaved as you felt his arms lift you so that your legs were wrapped around his.

Such a movement was made only so that Zoro could take you to the ground in a strange delicacy on his part. The green threads became your fingers' favorite path while his hands removed the few pieces of clothing that your body still had.

"No one that matters now?" he traced some scars that adorned your back and watched you twitch. "I'll still kill the bastard."

"This someone is no longer here for you to take revenge on." you took his lips as a distraction for your hands to slide over the shoulders hidden in the kimono.

"That's my girl."

Scars, bruises, nothing would take away the pleasure of Zoro's contemplation. The long two years didn't really seem that long until he saw you. How can you wait so long? How did he not go crazy and come back even if he swam to Sabaody?

"Hi greenie." You caught his attention by letting your hands caress his cheek. "Are you ok babe?"

"You are so beautiful." The words came out suddenly as if it were common for you to hear that every day.

If it were up to him alone, he would make a point of repeating that all night and for the rest of the next nights as well. Your eyes looking down at him asking for attention to your body, your legs closing against his body, small sighs as you felt him touch you. You underneath him was one of the best sights Zoro would have for the rest of his life.

His lips traced every contour of your skin. Every shiver was swallowed by a kiss, every shiver was trapped between his lips. The damp fabric of your panties didn't last long as a hindrance to the swordsman who turned you into tatters. It was like enjoying a feast after years of scarcity, drinking the divine honey that flowed from you.

"Still delicious." "I missed you so much."

Zoro couldn't contain a light laugh when he saw you cover your mouth with both hands, avoiding the screams that hit your body as you poured yourself onto his lips. Your waist took on a life of its own with the sensitivity of your pussy against his tongue.

Without any effort, Zoro turned you around and, handling you, placed your body on top of him, in a lotus position. His cock brought friction against your clitoris, your belly burning with pure anxiety and his hands made your hips move against him without even penetrating you. Your lips already hurt from the pressure you used to not let any noise escape.

"Let me hear you, please." One of his hands caught your hair, placing your head against the back of his neck. "Moan just for me baby. I need to hear you."

"Zoro, fuck, don't torture me. Just fuck me, please."

Hearing you beg was the closest thing a devil like him would get to heaven. Wrong, so wrong. Feeling your pussy contract with every inch he put in, that was paradise.

Despite feeling like you could explode at any moment, you moved slowly, not wanting the night to end. The grips against your ass, the eager hands pressing you against the base of his cock. Neither of them seemed to be able to last long.

The peak reached you first, your lips against the sweaty back of your neck, your fingers prickling the green strands begging for more and more, it was enough for Zoro to sink his teeth into your soft skin, containing his own moans and filling you up.

He lay down, still keeping himself inside you and allowing you to lay against his chest.

"You have new ones too." Your fingers traced some new scars.

"You don't like them?"

"Still beautiful, as always. Zo?"

" What do you need, sweet?"

"I know it wasn't our choice, but... Promise that if we get separated again, we'll find a way and find each other." Your eager eyes drew a sigh from the man, who pressed you even tighter against his embrace.

"This is the easiest promise I've ever made."

The sun began to rise when you could no longer keep your eyes open. With your body tied to Zoro's and covered by his kimono, without worrying if anyone would arrive, the two of you both took a snooze.

[cherryrikis]

ONE LESS LONELY GIRL - 009 ! 24/7 chemistry

PAIRING idols riki x fem reader

SYNOPSIS fans always point out the chemistry between you and riki, and it only continues to grow after you become mc’s together on music bank. but as your feelings rise, so does the tension. and people begin to notice, so you try not to let riki know how you feel. but unbeknownst to you, he feels entirely the same way.

previous <> masterlist <> next

a day had passed since the incident occurred, and you were dreading going to music bank today.

it wasnt that riki made you uncomfortable, because he never did. it was more about the fact that he was trying too hard and ended up physically hurting you. this made you realize you needed a bit more time away from him.

the two of you stood side by side on the stage, ready for the winners ceremony. typically, you and riki would be shoulder to shoulder, constantly meeting each others gaze. but the gap made between you both made it painfully obvious that there was something going on. for the entire day, even as you announced the winners, you never once looked at him.

but you could still feel how he looked at you.

“congratulations on your win! you guys did so great today.” you greeted saerom as the rest of the members followed her off stage.

“thank you so much y/n! im just, so happy right now.” saerom smiled, fanning her eyes to keep the tears from falling. she was still in shock from the win.

chaeyoung came up from behind her, with a big grin as she teased saerom for crying. “you’re such a baby. anyway, y/n! there’s my fave 05 liner. it’s so great to see you again. im really sorry about the dating scandal though.” she pouted.

“o-oh. it’s no problem, really.” you waved. “it’s great seeing you too!”

saerom was ready to speak up again, but she spotted riki who was slowly approaching from behind you. “well. it’s been lovely talking to you, but we should get going. thank you so much y/n!” she bowed before leaving, gesturing for chaeyoung to follow.

“he may be stupid, but he’s a keeper. make sure you don’t let that one go.” chaeyoung whispered as she not so discreetly pointed at riki before leaving.

he came up to you just as soon as the girls left. “talking about me, huh?” riki teased. “but, seriously. can we talk?”

you slightly moved your head to look at him, only to turn back around with a groan before continuing to walk away.

but he was persistent. you heard his footsteps, heavy against the floor as he sprinted towards you. “y/n? i’m sorry. i just miss you.” riki paused once he realized you had stopped moving.

“riki.” you sighed. “please, can you just give me some time? i miss you too, but i just need space. with everything going on, and yesterday being as embarrassing as it was, i think i just need a break.” you said apologetically as you looked into his doe eyes.

his hands reached for your own, holding them gently. “it’s alright. i’m so sorry, again. i’ll give you as much time as you need.” riki pouted. carefully, he leaned down to kiss your cheek before pulling away, walking back in the opposite direction.

you were left standing in the middle of the hallway, wondering if you made the right choice.

TAGLIST (italics = couldnt be tagged) @hannicorpse @luvvhaerin @chaevibes @en-verse @ren2jay @choppedballoondetective @heartheejake @imanalien143 @istglevi-gotmesimping @yndairy @eleanorheartschishiya @lonelylandofan @gweoriz @jaemified @onlyhyunjin @softpia @frecklesbrownies @riksaes @wensurr @rikifordmiami @brideslit @ant-onie @yumilovesloona @aeminju @hoonics @catecita @clampclover @rei4sunoo @addictedtohobi @rikidaze @baekxo07 @xotyla @melancholy-z @rikisgeef @jung1w0n @tocupid @onlyseung @i03jae @iheartshopping @istphanie @queenriki7 @academiq @1117promises @nctislifue @haechansbbg @rairaiblog @nabia-bia @pkjay @lixiebokie @hiekoo @r1kizerr @d-dilemma @kingofthekards @iilwji @hoonatic @woorcve @enhaz1

[wave2tyun]

eyes locked, hands locked | ☆

pairing: prince!soobin x reader

genre: royal!au, fluff<3

prompts: - “was that your first kiss?”

- “stop looking at me like that”

warnings: none!

word count: 1.3k

a/n: i apologise for the long wait my lovely anon!!😔😔💞 have fun reading hehe!! :DD<3💞💓💖💘💞 honestly, going through this one again really makes me want to have another go at royal aus, perhaps something longer?? but at the same time i have too many wips going on and AHHHHHHHH i wish the fics would write themselves as fast as my thoughts go through my brain<//3

☆ = repost from my old blog!!

there was nothing more besides the cheery, tiny crickets in the grass that kept you company in the coldness of the night.

while everybody else was busy running around the castle, setting food down on the tables or balancing the champagne-filled glasses on silver trays, your one and only job was to watch over the garden’s flower section, careful so as not to let any curious kids wander off around the perimeter and trample all over them in the darkness.

that was how you were supposed to spend your evening: pacing around the cobblestone pathway, watching the moon and stars, feeling your heart ache as the grand classical music pierced the silence at midnight, wondering if soobin had found himself a partner to dance with, to hold close, to court.

you could tell that the chore had been specially tailored for you by the queen: it kept you away from the ballroom, the guests, and most importantly, from her son. she wasn’t exactly fond of the way the relationship between the two of you had been evolving- your presence left a bitter taste in her mouth, she couldn’t risk having you, a maid, impede the royal family from continuing their pure, blue blood heritage.

you were way too absorbed by the dancing silhouettes you could see from the windows -wishing that you, too, could slip inside- that you didn’t hear the sound of footsteps approaching.

soobin was right behind your back, out of breath, hands slightly sweating while he looked at your figure. he wrapped his arms around your torso, pulling you in tightly as he tenderly embraced you “i missed you” you heard him whisper, his breath tickling the back of your neck.

you couldn’t fight back the smile taking over your face, feeling relief that he was alongside you, and not with some stranger, holding them close to his chest, swaying them across the dance floor “how did you sneak out?”

“beomgyu helped me- he made a mess at the dining table while attempting to pull a magic trick” soobin chuckled, remembering the way all the plates and glasses flew in the air as his friend pulled at the table cloth “needless to say, my parents were too astounded to keep their eyes on me”

you laughed at his explanation, knowing beomgyu, the incident must have been much more ridiculous than anything you could ever imagine. he sacrificed himself just so that the two of you could meet. however, the royal family adored him too much to ever throw him out, not matter how chaotic his endeavours were.

“i missed this” soobin placed a kiss on your right shoulder “-and this” he sweetly pecked your cheek, then spun your body around so that you could fully face him. the dim light shining from the lamp poles illuminated your features, giving them a gentle, mellow glow, and, perhaps without even realising it, soobin was leaning closer towards your lips. your breath hitched in your throat as you noticed how short the distance between you was getting, and yet, you allowed him to do it- to close the remaining gap.

you were stiff, anxious, forgetting to close your eyes or at least kiss him back, your mind could only focus on the softness of his lips and how his hand began to trail further down your waist. soobin separated himself from you hesitantly, not too much, only to the point where you could still feel his breath fanning on your face “i apologise, did i go too far-“

“no- that’s not the case” you cut him off. there was a tremble in your voice and it was impossible for him to tell whether it was from anger, sadness, or perhaps nervousness. you tapped your lips with your fingers, struggling the words that wouldn’t make this more embarrassing for you than it already was.

soobin’s head tilted to the side, expecting you to go on further. he couldn’t quite understand why you just stood there when he kissed you, like a statue devoid of emotion. you had always been cold on the surface, mostly unaccepting of any external forces. that didn’t stop soobin from delving deeper inside your heart, he knew that, in reality, behind all your pretending, you were warm, a certain kind of warmth that he’d crave more and more as time went on.

which is why, despite all the distance you had desperately tried to place between the two of you over the years, he still found himself calling out for you. it was inevitable- you were pulling him in like a magnet.

the flowers seemed to pick at his interest only when he walked around the garden with you. maybe because he was all too immersed by your gaze, wanting to find out which plant had your wholehearted attention. maybe it was because he wanted you to look at him that way too- or, maybe he just dreamed of gifting you a bouquet of all your favorite flowers, all handpicked by him from the garden.

the pastries tasted better whenever you were the one who made them, not mr. hughes, the main chef, or any of the other maids. so, each time he spotted a fresh batch made by you in the castle’s kitchen, he’d place one in his mouth stuffing his pockets with at least four more pieces. the butter from the sweets turned the fabric into a dirty, buttery mess, which the maids on cleaning duty loved to complain about. they couldn’t get how, at some point during the week, the pants in his laundry basket managed to reach this state.

he couldn’t deny it, he was completely, thoroughly infatuated by you.

“it’s all new to me” you attempted to reveal the truth, unaware of how vague your statement must have sounded.

soobin continued to look at you with a purely clueless look “what is?” the tone of his voice was a mixture of confusion and concern.

“this” your thumb reached out to graze his lower lip, eyes following the motion. soobin took your hand, holding it against his cheek while smiling.

“was that your first kiss?” his voice quivered as he asked, hiding a laugh. the situation, albeit embarrassing for you, was foolishly endearing for him.

“stop looking at me like that” you dodged his question, returning to your usual, rash behaviour, but soobin knew that you were only doing it out of nervousness.

“why? am i making your heart thump faster?” he whispered, placing a kiss on the inside of your palm “or-“ he leaned down, continuing to speak in a low tone as he reached your ear “perhaps you already want more?”

you gave his shoulder a slight push. where was the flustered boy from a few seconds ago, the one whose eyes widened at the thought of having stolen your first kiss?

“i think you’re getting way too ahead of yourself-”

“i’m not, you’re just afraid” he provoked you, now that it was clear in his mind that you did want the kiss, you just didn’t know how to return it. knowing your ego and short temper, how else could he ensure himself another taste, if not by teasing you?

“afraid of what?” you scoffed.

“of being a bad kisser”

“i’m not-“ your tone sharpened as you looked at him.

“well, how would you know?” he snickered “wasn’t this your first kiss, or am i mistaken?”

by the way he spoke, you could tell that he was enjoying this more and more by the second. catching on to the trap he was leading you to, you grabbed a fistful of his shirt, a tangled mixture of his collar and necklace in your hand as you pulled him closer, pressing your lips to his. you didn’t know exactly what to do, you only puckered your lips, hoping that it was enough to make a difference from your earlier kiss. soobin pulled away with a chuckle, tilting your chin up with one finger “i believe you need more practice, sweetheart”

taglist: @huekalover3000

[atinyniki]

two is better than one

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader

genre: fluff, angst, slightly suggestive

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, felix is referred to as lix, and lixie, petnames, pregnancy, mentions of a previous miscarriage, vomiting, childbirth, allusions to sex, suggestive

authors note: yayyy !!! i loved writing this series so much but this will probably be the last part. hope you enjoy the happy ending this time :) this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 3180

(pt. 1) || (pt. 2)

TW, PROCEED WITH CAUTION: mentions of a previous miscarriage

“i made you some food, you wanna come try?”

you get off the bed, walking over to where felix is standing at your door. you mumble a ‘mhm’ and follow him into the kitchen. life never got easier after what happened to your little sprout. you missed her so much.

you walk by the nursery room, your eyes lingering on the pink curtains for a little bit, then continue to follow felix. you never had the strength to abandon that nursery, sometimes still cleaning it when you’re feeling lonely.

you sit down with felix, an array of brownies on a platter with jjamppong, one of your favorite dishes made by felix. “thank you lixie”, you say with a meek smile. he smiles back, the sparkle in his eyes still dull.

you’ve gotten better, it’s been almost eight months now, but the pain will never be easy to deal with. you both continue to eat, staring at each other every so often. 

his leg brushes against yours, just wanting to feel you there with him. felix hasn’t been doing too well, especially with comeback pressure, but he’s glad he took a break for you.

his hand wraps around your waist, pulling you closer to him and resting his head on your shoulder. it was moments like these that you felt safe, only being surrounded by felix. “i love you y/n”

you smile, running your nails along his spine. “mmm, i love you too lix”

you both finish your food, finally grabbing the brownies from the plate. you shove it into your face after craving a sweet treat for so long, felix jerking his head towards you, looking at you with wide eyes. 

he tries to hold in his laugh, but it ends up coming out as a sputter, eyes crinkling in the process. “babe… you got chocolate… literally everywhere”, he chuckles.

you stare back at him, a little dumbfounded. you haven’t seen him laugh all that much in a while, you’re glad it was you who cheered him up a little. “oops… sorry”, you said with a smile.

he kisses you, licking the sweet chocolate off your face and smiling at you again. your foreheads are pressed together, making the moment far more intimate than you thought it’d be. he pulls you in closer again, “i love you lots, i really do”

“i know, i love you too felix”, you say as you place a peck on his nose. you both smile at each other, not breaking eye contact as if you’re afraid the moment will end if you do. 

you both deserve to be happy. this is your chance.

“i’m read- woah…”

felix stares at you like you’ve just hung stars in the sky, his eyes trailing further and further down your body. you’re in a gorgeous black dress that hugs each and every one of your curves beautifully, you’ve never tried it on until today.

“do you… like it?”, you asked him nervously. 

his eyes shoot back up to yours, giving you a bright smile. “you look so beautiful, my love”

you don’t hear that pet name all that often. it’s normally reserved for softer, more intimate moments, but he couldn’t help himself. you walk over to him and wrap your arms around him tightly.

you look up at him, slowly closing the gap between you both as your lips meet in a soft kiss. no kiss had ever felt so heavenly to you since the incident. 

felix cups his small hand over your cheek, stroking it lovingly with his thumb and smiling at you. he turns you around to face the bathroom mirror, eyes widening when he sees the ring of red around his lips.

you both begin to laugh after a little while, a sudden comfort washing over you. you lean over to grab a wipe, clearing the lipstick off his face. you quickly apply your mascara and then head out. 

you want to treat him well today. it is his birthday after all.

you enjoy dinner with him that night, your mind finally cleared for a little while. all you could think about was making felix happy that night, and you did so.

“did you have fun darling?”

felix hummed in satisfaction, kissing your forehead before bringing you into your home. before you could even make it to your room, you kissed him again, on the lips this time, catching him by surprise.

“baby, why do you keep-“, you cut him off with another kiss, this time tugging at his shirt. you needed him again. you wanted to give it another chance.

“felix i think… i think im finally ready…”

his eyes widen. were you really thinking about trying again? 

you knew how much he wanted this.

“you mean… i- you want to try again?”

you look up into his eyes, smiling at him. you proceed to kiss him once again, whispering into his lips, “yes, please…?”

without a second thought, felix picks you up bridal style and brings you to his room, setting you down on your shared bed. 

he kisses all over your face and neck, making sure to put you first. “are you sure?”

you smile at him, intertwining your fingers with his. “i’m sure lixie.”

he smiles wider than he has in a while, carefully removing your clothes. his fingers trail over every single stretch mark, kissing them after. “so beautiful…”, he mumbled.

felix makes the sweetest love to you, chasing mainly after your pleasure. soon after, you’re laying on your back with clean clothes and damp hair, but you don’t know how you got here. 

all of a sudden, you see felix with a large shirt on, baggy sweats to go along with them. you smile at him, tears slowly starting to leave your eyes.

he rushes over to the spot on the bed beside you, “hey hey hey why are you crying baby? are you not ready? we can always get a night after pill?”

you pull him closer to you, hugging his chest and kissing him softly. “no i’m ready, you just…”

“i what? did i do something wrong?”

“no… you’re just so caring for me and- i don’t know… i guess im just really happy. i’m so grateful for you felix”, you reply.

felix is stunned by the sincerity in your voice, but still hugs you back nonetheless. he knows you’re vulnerable right now, but he’s also worried about what is to come. 

what if it happens again…?

“felix!”, you yell out. felix rushes to the bathroom, “what?! what happened?! what’s wro-“

you shove the pregnancy test in his face, a large smile plastered on yours. his eyes widen, quickly filling with tears. he doesn’t say anything, he just hugs you and kisses all over your face.

you giggle, and he smiles, your laugh is music to his ears. he slowly sinks to his knees, pulling your shirt up a little to rub over your tummy. he peppers a couple kisses on it, and stands back up to look at you. 

“baby… i can’t wait”

you smile at his words, finally feeling happy again after so long. “i love you felix”

“i love you more y/nnie”

he hugs you to his chest once again, rubbing circles onto your back. “we’ll be okay. i know it.”

you bite you lip nervously as you wait for the doctor to come in. “hey baby, it’s fine, don’t worry”

it’s your first ultrasound after little sprout, and you’re a little worried about your baby. you’ve been throwing up much more than before, and the symptoms seem to be more intense.

“hey, sorry for the wait, we had to take care of a couple of things. how are you feeling?”

you went through the formalities with the doctor, eager for your ultrasound. once you see the doctor pull out the gel, you immediately relaxed onto the bed and sighed. felix was busy playing with your fingers, trying his best to distract you from your dark thoughts.

your eyes dart to the screen, seeing a little blob of white in the frame. your smile comes back, when the doctors voice breaks you out of your thoughts. “oh? hold on…”

your heart sinks into your stomach, “is everything okay?”

“everything should be fine, but… oh!”

her eyes meet yours again. “congratulations, you’re having twins!”, she says with a smile.

your heart jumps back into place. you turn your head to look at felix who is smiling so incredibly brightly at you. he squeezes your hand, tears brimming in his eyes. you squeeze his hand back.

you continue talking about the regular concerns with the doctor, making sure everything is okay. “this would probably explain why your symptoms are slightly stronger. they shouldn’t be too strong, but if they ever do get too bad please give us a call.”

she leaves the room not too long after, you and felix hugging eachother tightly. “oh my gosh i can’t believe it!”, you breathed out. felix buried his face into your neck again, pulling you close. 

he looks up just to smile at you, before pushing his head back down again. “i’m so proud of you.”

“i’m proud of you too, lix”

“seungmins a wizard. i’m betting on it.”, jisung yells.

all of you break out into laughter, “a wizard?”, you ask incredulously.

“yes y/n. a fucking wizard. because how did he guess the gender right again? he had a higher chance to get it wrong this time, but he’s gotten it right every time!”

felix is smiling as wide as the earth right now, he can’t believe it. one boy and one girl, the best of both worlds. he is so excited to give them all the love he had to give.

you two had fun the entire day, forgetting about your worries and finally letting lose. the boys were attentive as ever, but nothing would compare to felix.

he held you close the entire day, rubbing soothing circles over your tummy and hugging you every so often. you haven’t felt this happy in months, and you owed most of it to him.

“thank you for today, i love you lix”

“i love you too peach”

“how can you even crave this shit. chocolate tteok sounds disgusting”, minho chuckles.

“it is disgusting, but it’s so fulfilling”

“okay, whatever you say, lady”

you’re glad minho always comes over to help with cravings, seeming that felix can’t seem to cook anything other than the basics without a recipe. 

the three of you talk a lot more about plans for the future, already buying new shades of paint for the walls of your nursery. you were beyond excited, you just hoped nothing would happen this time.

felix has been incredibly cautious with you recently, trying to ease your pain in any way possible. he would always make sure to pick out a more supportive bra when dressing you, always treating you like a princess.

he loves to hold your baby bump up from time to time, making sure the weight doesn’t become too much for you. you’re glad he’s home more often. 

you never want this to end.

you’re nearing your eighth month, it’s a lot more difficult than you expected. felix makes sure to help in anyway he possibly can, bringing you everything you need when he’s actually home.

you two have decided that you’d be responsible for your childrens’ shopping. felix would buy pink clothes for your little guppy, and you’d buy blue clothes for your little nugget. 

you’ve been really excited about it all, especially after seeing how happy felix is, but you can’t truly be as happy as you want to. the fear is always there. what if something happens again?

you’re laying in bed now, tired and incredibly worn out. “y/nnieeee”, you hear from outside the door. “hm?”

felix comes in, stopping for a second when he sees you sprawled out on the bed. he quickly darts to sit next to you, holding you in his arms and kissing your cheek half a million times. “i love youuuu”

you couldn’t help but laugh at how adorable he looks right now. “i love you too felix, what was all that for?”

he doesn’t say anything yet, just tucking his face in your neck and holding a hand onto your bump. “so pretty…”, he mumbled. he places open-mouthed kisses all over your neck, you can feel his smile.

you nuzzle your face into him, finally letting sleep wash over you after so long. 

“lix?”

“shhh”

you smile at him a little “you have to wake up, you have work”

after a long night of movies you both fell asleep on the couch, nuzzled into eachother and limbs tangled like a pretzel. 

“please, lix?”

“mmph finee”, he says with a pout. you give him a quick kiss, watching him dart into the bedroom not too long after. you get up to make him some coffee before he leaves, packing up a brownie for breakfast.

he walks back out the room, already seeing you in the kitchen. he quickly walks over to you and wraps you in a hug from behind, holding your bump and kissing your neck repeatedly.

“oh my gosh. i love you so much, you know that?”

you smile, “i love you too baby”. you aren’t quite sure why felix has been so incredibly affectionate to you recently, but you don’t seem to mind it too much. 

not too long after, felix leaves for work, leaving you alone in your home. you quickly finished breakfast, making your way back to your room where you slept for a while. blood still stained the carpet next to the bathroom. you try not to think about it as much. 

you wake up from a much needed nap, slowly getting up to wash up. there’s a feeling of discomfort in between your legs again, and your heart stops. you quickly dial felix’s number.

“felix?”

“what’s wrong baby? are you okay?”, he asks frantically.

“can you come home? i feel… weird”

he mumbled something, you couldn’t hear over the car engine starting. he quickly drove over to your house, finding you already in the bedroom.

“baby what’s wrong?”, he splays a hand over your bump.

you suddenly feel something trickling down your legs, and your eyes dart down. it starts seeping through your clothes, when you feel a little pop. the liquid is now gushing out of you, mouth hung agape.

felix grabs your hospital bag in an instant, bringing you to the car to take you to the hospital. his smile reaches his eyes, he can’t believe this is happening. there is still some internal panic though, you can tell.

you quickly make your way there, going through the entire procedure. you lay on the bed, the only people in the room being felix and a nurse. the contractions feel like a sharp pain shooting through your stomach, but you still try to push regardless.

the nurse calls in a doctor, finally telling you to push. the process goes on for almost an hour, and you’re left weak after the first couple. it feels like you’re pushing a watermelon out of a lemon sized hole. 

felix is holding onto your hand, rubbing circles onto your knuckles and reassuring you every so often. it helped distract you from the pain, but it was suddenly starting to become unbearable. 

sweat was dripping down your face, and suddenly, you feel a large stretch. the pain is unimaginable, and then you realize that you’ve just pushed out their head. you continue to push harder, a newfound determination in you.

your guppy comes first, wailing and a deep red. you continue pushing, “you got this baby”

a million questions run through your mind. ‘what if the baby isn’t okay?’ ‘what if something goes wrong again?’

nonetheless, you continue pushing, and you finally get your little nugget out. once you see him, your entire world stops. you didn’t hear crying. the nurses rush him to another room, and you’re left with felix and another nurse. 

the nurse and felix both reassure you that everything is going to be okay, but felix sounds uneasy. he feels like he could pass out in any moment. 

you finally get to hold your guppy, eunji, you’ve decided to call her. the tears finally spring free, a huge smile on your face after finally getting to hold your baby girl. you turn to look at felix who has a smile on his face, but his mind is still plagued with thoughts about your eunjae.

the longer time passes, felix’s heart sinks more and more. the nurses distract you, but their efforts go unnoticed to felix. all of a sudden, the doors open, and you hear your eunjae for the first time.

felix finally lets go, silent cries shaking his body as he stares at his little boy. “he’s so beautiful…” 

your heart swells at the sight of them, the happiest of tears streaming down your face. felix finally gets to hold the both of them, careful not to be too rough to their delicate skin. you look at felix, who’s staring at eunji, heart beating a thousand times per second. 

the love he’s shown the both of them just today alone makes you excited for the future. you know he’s going to be an amazing dad.

“are you crying?!”, changbin exclaimed.

“having kids is a beautiful thing changbin, shut up.”, seungmin retorted.

the boys are having a blast with eunjae, watching him squirm and giggle in chans arms. hyunjin goes to hold him, but eunjaes eyes widen. suddenly, he cries and flails his legs, mouth wide open. scared, hyunjin lowers him back into chans arms and holds up a toy maraca, shaking it in front of him.

seungmin is sitting on the couch with the both of you, far away from the rest of the boys and little eunji in his arms. “hi sweetpea”, he coos. you’ve never seen seungmin be so soft towards someone, but you decided not to comment on it.

felix is grinning at seungmin, still unable to believe that seungmin is truly acting this way toward his daughter. his eyes are still bloodshot from crying earlier, tears still threatening to spill. “she’s so pretty…” 

you almost cried at the sight of seungmin with your daughter. he looked just like an older brother holding his little sister for the first time. you all continue to have fun, eunji giggling every so often with seungmin.

you watch as he pulls up his calendar in his free hand, quickly handing you eunji and calling his girlfriend. you’re a little confused, sharing the look with felix. 

suddenly she picks up. “seungie?”

“get ready. we’re having a baby.”

your jaw drops, along with felix’s. 

“WHAT?!”, she’s so loud you can hear her through the phone. seungmin continues talking, quickly saying his goodbyes and rushing out the door. you and felix start laughing after the initial shock has worn off. 

so much for a soft moment i guess…

<3

[lisbeth-kk]

Sherlock fandom

A Glimpse into a Tender Soul

When we walked away from our first crime scene, Sherlock surprised me. Again. He has this ability to constantly stun me in all kinds of different ways. That particular time, it was just three words, and they weren’t earth shattering, but utterly normal. But coming from him, it sounded new, fresh, almost alien.

«Beautiful, isn’t it?» he said while he buttoned up his grand coat and looked up at the sky.

The narrow gap was an exquisite sight. Dark and velvet sky sprinkled with stars, reminiscent of diamonds.

A milky way dream, I remember thinking.

***

Of course, Sherlock’s perception of beauty is like no other. He finds it in so many places I don’t.

A curious bruise pattern on a corpse, can fascinate him for hours, if he’s allowed access to the body for that long.

Chemical experiments that produce sickly-coloured clouds, which when the smell isn’t too awful, makes him beam and utter the word beautiful with emphasis.

What baffles me the most though, is his obsession over my scar. Numerous times, he’s catalouged it with his fingers, lips, and tongue. He whorships it like it’s the most remarkable thing he’s ever seen.

«It is the reason we’re here now,» he murmurs in my ear. «What would we be without it, John? Still alone, miserable, bereft of this love we have between us.»

***

To me, beauty is more tangible. Flowers, scents, nature, art, and obviously Sherlock. His looks are outstanding in every way, from top to bottom. However, there is one thing about him that isn’t visible that I treasure above all - his tender soul.

Very few are aware of it, because he hides it well. Our landlady has known it for years, of course. Greg Lestrade suspects that he’s missed something, and Mycroft - well, he’s known Sherlock since he was born; let’s leave it at that…

After the pool incident, Sherlock made a vow while he divested me of the bomb jacket.

«For the rest of my life, I will tell you how much you mean to me. Every single day. Until you get tired of hearing it,» he promised fiercely while cupping my face in his hands.

In return, I promised to never get tired of receiving love declarations from him, and I would answer them in kind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@flashfictionfridayofficial @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @raina-at

@safedistancefrombeingsmart @gregorovitch-adler @a-victorian-girl @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear

@helloliriels @phoenix27884 @jolieblack @221beloved @ninasnakie

@a-freemaniac @meetinginsamarra @bs2sjh

[robinsno1lesbian]

𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫!𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

(𝐫.𝐛. 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

neighbor!robin x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: living next to robin buckley...heaven on earth

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1673

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content! (MDNI), implied age gap (reader is 18+!!) , fingering, oral, strap on, pet names, praise kink, very brief mention of mommy kink, no beta read (let me know if i missed anything <3)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this is heavily inspired by @lightvixxen ‘s concept! definitely check out their page for more neighbor!robin x reader content! <3 the ending is a bit rushed so if you need more content there is a part 2 :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

you thought you had it all figured out: great job, nice house…a good life.

that is until your new neighbor moves in next door: robin buckley.

the first time you ever see her is when she’s carrying heavy boxes into her new house.

she’s wearing a muscle shirt and loose pants.

you can see the muscles on her arm flexing as she’s picking up multiple heavy-looking boxes at once.

she lets out somewhat of a grunt as she lifts them up.

that catches your attention. you can’t help but watch from your lawn, biting your lip as your eyes wander over her athletic figure.

you didn’t even think it was possible to feel this kind of attraction towards women. you aren’t supposed to feel this way. not for women and especially not for your new, older neighbor.

of course it doesn’t take long until robin notices you too.

you sure are an eye-catcher; wearing short dresses as you’re reading books in your garden, spreading your legs wider when you feel robin’s gaze upon you.

it does take some time for you to fully understand what you’re doing or why you’re doing it…

....why you like the way she eyes your body, why you like to have her attention on you.

but there’s definitely something between the two of you…a cat and mouse game if you will.

your clothes get shorter, the looks linger for longer, robin spends more and more time in her garden to do god knows what.

all you know is that she looks good doing it.

doing work in her garden, mowing her lawn in nothing but a pair of shorts in a sports bra, her skin glistening sweaty under the hot sun.

in return for all the hard work she’s doing all day, you leave the curtains open when you change at night.

allowing her to see you getting undressed.

and you don’t stop there.

because that night is also the first night you and robin take it further than just longing stares across the fence…

your eyes never leave hers as you drop onto the bed and spread your legs for her, arching your back at the very first contact your fingers make with your throbbing entrance.

and that night is just the beginning.

because when you get back from grocery shopping the next day, robin is already waiting for you.

"that looks heavy. let me help you"

just like that, she's inside of your house, carrying your groceries for you.

you don't even have enough time to put them in their place, before robin has you pressed up against your kitchen counter...

kicking your legs apart as she's kissing your neck harshly

"you love teasing me don't you? think you can just fuck yourself with your curtains open? and you enjoyed every second of it too didn`t you? such a dirty girl...such a fucking slut"

you don't understand how her words could have such an impact on you.

but your legs shake and you feel yourself clenching around nothing

and, oh her raspy voice is making this so much worse

"you want me this bad, don't you? so desperate for me..." and she fucking chuckles right at your face.

and before you can help it, her touch is gone and she's stepping out of your space.

"maybe another time pretty girl"

and with that she's gone, leaving you dripping wet and needy for her.

after that first little incident, there is nothing holding you back anymore.

you would walk through your room topless, knowing robin is watching you from her window. you would go out without panties underneath, bending over for robin to see while she's outside. moaning her name through the night, knowing damn well your window is open only for her to hear.

one night you're being particularly loud when you see a shadow outside your window.

you immediately stop when you notice robin's presence.

you are all naked, spread out on your bed with your neighbor towering over you.

"w-what are you- you can't be here" you stutter.

"oh, but you were calling for me weren't you...?"

but all robin is really here for is to finally break that damn circle of constant teasing.

she would never admit it but she wants you just as bad

"now don't stop just because I'm here...you wanted this, didn't you?"

she sits down on the edge of your bed, the mattress bouncing under the extra weight of hers.

and when you can't help but nod, a desperate whine coming from your lips, she gestures for you to continue.

oh but it doesn't end when your first orgasm rushes through you.

"i don't remember telling you to stop"

and just like that, robin coaxes some of the best orgasms out of you, without even touching you herself.

but when she finally, finally touches you...it's literal heaven on earth.

it happens at one of your parents' annual bbq gatherings. they tend to invite the whole neighborhood and so -obviously- robin is gonna be there.

so of course you pick out a tiny little dress to wear.

when robin first see you approaching, she really can't help it but stare at the way the material looks on you, tightly clinging to your body in all the right ways.

but when you lean it close and whisper into her ear, that is when she loses it.

"i'm not wearing any panties. i thought you would like to know"

you knew you would get a reaction out of her, but little did you know what kind of reaction...

not even 2 minutes later, you're laying on your bed and robin is straddling your hips and pushing that pretty little dress up your legs

you don't miss the way her eyes go just a tiny bit wider when she feels the wetness that has pooled between your legs.

"this really turns you on huh? acting all innocent out there while you aren't wearing anything underneath that pretty dress of yours..."

before you have the chance to tell her how this is exactly what you've wanted ever since she moved in, robin flicks her fingers over your clit and your mind goes blank.

shortly after that, two of her fingers are buried knuckle-deep inside of you and she's fucking you exactly the way you've always imagined

neighbor!robin definitely has a mommy kink, like 100%!!

her fingers have the ability to make you see stars already but her mouth...

(besides the fact that she can easily multitask and whisper the filthiest things in your ear, all while fingering you through multiple orgasms)

she is a pro when it comes to going down on you

she could literally eat you out for hours, praising your pussy as she does so.

"oh, you taste so good. all for me"

robin is so fucking possessive over you and you love it

she will use every opportunity she can get to remind you that she's the only one who could ever make you feel this good

"all of this just for me doll? yeah? all mine, only mine"

robin loves to tease you, to remind you that you're practically her little fuck toy.

so it doesn't even surprise you to feel her palm on your thigh when she's visiting your place to have dinner with you.

but when dinner is over and robin explains that she's gonna need you to show her where the bathroom is, it's even worse.

suddenly you're shoved against the wall and robin's fingers are pounding into you while she's standing behind you, holding you against the door by your hair.

"be quiet or they might hear what a slut they've raised"

you love it when robin takes you with her strap.

the first time it happens, you're at her place and she makes you ride it for her while she's holding back your hair in somewhat of a makeshift ponytail.

but she's such a tease and won't move her hips the way you want her to, leaving you without any other choice but to grind down on it.

her hand on your hipbone keeps you still, restricting any further movement.

and she wouldn’t stop, not until you’re a squirming, begging mess for her.

begging her to finally fuck you the way you need her to.

“what do you want pretty girl? want me to fuck you? then say it baby. use your manners…”

you’re far too desperate to be embarrassed about the obscene noises that come from your lips.

however, it’s all worth it when robin begins rolling her hips up to meet your skin.

oh, how robin loves to watch your face whenever she hits that spot that makes you whimper im pleasure.

if she could, she would watch you cum on her strap for hours.

speaking of fucking you with her strap; neither of you will ever forget the time she took you in front of her full length mirror

her hand is yanking you back by the hair, while she’s pounding into you from behind.

“open your eyes doll, look at yourself. oh you can’t? am i fucking you this good?”

robin loves your tits. she’s literally obsessed. she will use any chance she can get to put them in her mouth. any other time she will just stare at them, especially at inconvenient times.

you are about to go out with friends and guess what? robin is watching from her window, eyes focused on your chest.

you are having dinner together? her gaze keeps wandering lower and lower until she’s just shamelessly gaping at your breasts.

robin loves to mock you while she’s inside you.

she knows damn well she has the ability to make you forget your own name with how good she fucks you.

so whenever you start babbling sweet nothings, she will make fun of you.

“oh you liked that…? when i touch you there?”

and as if that’s not enough, she chuckles in your ear.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

comments & reblogs are always appreciated 🫶🏼

[discopaddock]

SNOW, SNOW, SNOW - PIERRE GASLY

PAIRING: single dad!pierre gasly x polish!fem!reader

GENRE: angst

WORD COUNT: 2380

NOTE: im back finally!! sorry for absence yall i just had a lot of school and i was on a school trip so i wasnt using phone too much. hope you like this one, x.

WARNINGS: burn, missing child, my english, google translated french

If Y/N L/N had haters, Pierre Gasly was one of them. If she had only one hater, it was him. And if she had zero haters, that meant that Pierre Gasly was dead.

Y/N had no idea why Pierre didn't like her so much. If there was something which happened and it didn't have a good outcome, he would always blame her from their whole group.

And because of his father, Claude Gasly didn't like Y/N either. He was Pierre's mini-me so of course he was acting the same as his father.

I guess it was the 2023 winter break, when Y/N, Pierre, Claude, Max, Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo, Lando, Yuki and their girlfriends were together in the Alps and the little guy got lost in the woods, but I'll tell you about it later.

“Enzo, none of them like me so why should I share a room with them?” Y/N asked, when she heard that she was going to be roommates with the Gaslys.

“Come off it-”

“I'm fucking not, for fucks sake, I don't want to share room with them, they are going to kill me and I am fucking serious at this moment” she announced, making Lorenzo, Charles and Max laugh. “I can even sleep on the couch, just not with them,” she added, but then Max said that he can share the room with Pierre and his son, but she would have to share the room with Lando.

She had never felt so thankful in her life before.

Sure, Lando was pretty disgusting, but he was better than the Gaslys, who hated her.

“Hey, hey wait! Y/N!” Verstappen yelled to her, watching as she was running upstairs with her huge suitcase.

“Hey Lando! Guess what, we're sharing a room” the girl said, after entering the bedroom, where Norris was sitting on his bed, which was the one against the window.

“Oh, okay?” He said a little confused, but he didn't mind. He was actually best friends with Y/N, so he was happy about it.

“So um yeah, bye Lando” Max announced after taking his valise and he left the room.

And then the Gaslys had arrived. Claude was an energetic boy. He was full everywhere. And as I said, he was his father's mini-me, so he looked exactly like him; the same ice-blue eyes, brunette hair, a gap between the teeth. As if you did copy paste in real life.

And Pierre liked to have matching clothes with his son, so it was even more copy paste in real life.

And again as I said, Claude was really energetic. And because of that just after taking off his winter clothes and shoes, he ran to his, Pierre's and Max's bedroom, not looking around, so he collapsed with Y/N, who was carrying a mug with a hot tea. This story for little Gasly had a happy ending, unlike L/N, who burned herself with the tea and broke her favourite mug.

“Kurwa mać” she cursed in her native language with teary eyes and a red hand. She quickly picked off parts of the mug and ran to the kitchen and put her hand into cold water. “I'll clean it up in a moment!” she announced but Colette, who saw the whole incident calmed her down, saying that she would do it for her. Fucking hell

“Do you need anything?” Augustin asked, after she entered the kitchen and saw Polishgirl, who still had her hand in the water. “Could you bring me my makeup bag? I have ointment for burns and frostbite in it” Y/N answered and Colette only smiled, nodded her head and went to the room of L/N and Norris.

“How bad does it hurt?” Lando asked, when he entered the kitchen with Y/N's makeup bag.

“Really bad? I guess” the girl answered, wiping her hand with a paper towel. “I don't have any bandages, damn it” she announced, rummaging through the makeup bag.

“Lorenzo's must-have” and with that, Lando ran to the eldest Leclerc's bedroom. “Enzo said if your hand won't stop hurting at night, he will drive you to the hospital,” Norris announced, putting the bandage on his friend's hand. The girl nodded. Her hand was hurting like hell, but she was hoping that she wouldn't have to go to the hospital.

“Fuck, I don't have any mug now” she said after a moment of realization. “I need to go to the town” she said and started walking to their room. Lando followed her, saying that he could go with her. “Be careful with your hand” the boy said, which made the girl roll her eyes. They were almost ready to go, when someone knocked on the door. “Come in!”

“Y/N, I know someone that wants to tell you something” Collette announced after walking to the bedroom. The little boy stood in front of the Polishgirl and mumbled: “Je suis désolé d'être tombé sur toi” I'm sorry I ran into you

“Je ne suis pas en colère, mais fais plus attention la prochaine fois, d'accord?” she answered, crouching, so she could look at Claude's face. I'm not mad, but be more careful next time, okay?

“Je suis désolé pour ta tasse” the boy added. I'm sorry about your mug

He actually felt sorry for that situation.

Sure, he didn't like Y/N, because of his dad, but still she was always kind and nice to him and it was his fault that all of this happened.

“Je ne suis pas en colère, ne t'inquiète pas” she said with a smile on her face and Claude hugged her. L/N had no idea what to do. After a while she hugged him back and because of that, he gripped her even tighter. I'm not angry, don't worry

Finally the boy moved away from her, so she could go with Lando.

“Bye!” the boy waved at them, so did Colette, who had a warm smile on her face.

“I don't remember if little Gasly had ever treated you like this” Norris said, when they finally sat in the girl's car.

“Same, Lando. Like I- fuck, he never liked me” Y/N announced. “Like his dad. Because they act the same but you know. I didn't even think that he would apologise to me”

“Yes, yes, same. Like he never wanted to play with you when we were hanging out, he was just mean to you like Pierre” Lando agreed with her.

“Do you know why Pierre doesn't like me so bad? Because for four years since I met him he always treated me like shit and never told me why” she asked, but her best friend didn't know.

“Since Claude was born he became really protective over him. So maybe it's because he didn't know you before C was born? Like he considered you as an enemy because he thought that you would hurt his beloved son? Like the female defends her young” Lando explained and the girl had no choice but to shrug.

“I don't want to think about them, just let me buy a new mug” Y/N said and got out of the car, so did her best friend.

They came back to the house after two hours, because they also went to the bookstore just to watch some books because they felt the vibe.

“You two were on a date or something?” Charles asked when they entered the living room.

“Who knows?” Lando moved his eyebrows in a suggestive way with a smile on his face. Y/N only shook her head, also smiling.

“Good luck on your new way of life!” Yuki yelled at them, when they were walking to the kitchen. Everyone laughed.

Well, everyone except Pierre who shook his head with a disgusted look. How old were they? 5?

“Oh, Pedro, stop being so boring,” Yuki told his best friend.

“You act like you were five,” Gasly said, which made Yuki laugh even more.

“Why are you laughing?” asked Claude, who just woke up from his nap. His English was broken but as a six year old bilingual boy it was really good.

“Because of your dad, C” Tsunoda answered, sitting the boy on his lap. “He's really jealous, you know” Yuki whispered to the little brunette boy's ear.

“Why is he jealous?” Claude asked, also whispering. “Y/N and Lando,” the Japaneseman answered quickly and quietly.

Well, yes, Pierre was jealous about Y/N and Lando. He was jealous of their relationship. In his opinion, they were together, like they were dating and did all that stuff, which people in love do and he used to do, when he was in a relationship with C's mother, Héloïse.

He was also jealous because he didn't spend as much time with Lando as they used to before the Brit-Belgianman met the Polish Girl during her Erasmus in France.

Plus, Y/N was really attractive, like she had catched a lot of women's or men's eyes, so did he. He wanted to date her actually, but he was at lost point; he fucked up at beginning of their acquaintance.

So Pierre thought that there was no other option, than just pissing her off for the rest of their lives.

On the next day, the whole group went skiing. Some of them like Lando and Arthur were snowboarding also.

It was a fun day. It was the only time when Y/N liked being in the mountains the whole year. Because she was a sea person (just like Pierre).

At twelve, they went to eat lunch. L/N was sitting with Norris, Charles and Colette at the table, while Pierre and the rest were sitting at the other one. It was only because the big table where Pierre was sitting was too small to accommodate them all.

After lunch they went for a walk in the woods. It was fun, relaxing and the trees were looking amazing covered with the white snow.

Everything seemed to be a dream until Pierre realised that he lost his son. They were at the car park, when Gasly realised it.

“No Pierre, you're staying here with Yuki, you're panicking and you won't be helpful in this condition” Lorenzo said, looking into the Frenchman's eyes.

“We should start looking for him as quickly as possible, let's go” Y/N said and ran into the woods, so did Lando, Arthur, Carla, Max, Gabby, Charles, Colette and Lorenzo.

“They'll find him, don't worry” Yuki tried to calm down his best friend, who was crying.

“I fucking lost my son, I'm a horrible father” Gasly scoffed and rested his head against the car seat.

“No, you're not! You raise him on your own, he doesn't have a mother, so you have to be both for him and you are doing it really well. And it is common that kids are lost, when they are small like C” Tsunoda handed the brunette man a tissue, so he could wipe his tears.

“Yes, but in markets not in woods!” Pierre cried out. “I'm so awful. Like fuck, I treated Y/N like shit for these four years and now she was the first person to ran into the woods to look for my son. That fucking hilarious!” he said.

“You should apologise to her” Yuki announced, which made the other man take a deep breath before he started talking again.

“It's too late”

“No, it's not! Y/N is the kindest person I've ever met. Like if you tell her the whole truth that you like her in this romantic way, she will definitely forgive you” the man announced.

“Yeah and that's the problem. I'm grumpy and she is sunshine. I won't tell her that. She doesn't like me back. She's dating Lando” Pierre said.

“You're such an idiot, they're just friends”

And while Yuki was giving Pierre a lesson about Y/N, she was running in the woods just to find the little Gasly. It was getting dark so she was worrying even more about the little boy.

“Claude!” she knew that she shouldn't scream in the woods, but what could she do? She repeated the boy's name a few times, walking deeper into the wood. “Claude!” she yelled again and she was losing her hope, but then she heard a small voice on the left. She quickly ran there and found little Gasly, who was sitting under a tree with blue lips and red hands.

“Oh, Claude” she said and picked him up from the ground. The boy only hugged her and covered his head in her neck. The girl pulled gloves from her jacket pocket and gave it to Gasly to wear them.

She was terrified of his condition.

“I want Papa,” he cried. He was hungry, terrified and frozen. “I know, you'll meet him in a moment, I promise” she announced and kissed his head. “I was chasing a squirrel and then no-one was around” he said, which broke Y/N's heart. He was only six years old and it definitely was a huge trauma for him. “You're safe now. I won't let anything happen to you” she told him. “I think I know why my papa thinks you're pretty,” Claude whispered. “I heard when he was talking about you with Yuki in our living room. I think he likes you, but he doesn't know how to tell you” he added.

Y/N was shocked.

Pierre fucking Gasly was thinking that she was pretty.

“Do you like my papa too?” the boy asked and Y/N had no idea how to answer him.

“Well, he's nice” she only stuttered and started walking faster. It was already dark and she was worried that she would get lost too.

“We're here, Claude” she announced when they were ten metres from the whole group.

Y/N was the last person to show up (as always).

“Is Papa here?” little Gasly asked, but the girl didn't answer him, because both of them were hugged by no-one other than Pierre. “Papa!” Little Gasly gasped after he recognised his father by his smell.

“Je suis tellement désolé, Claude” the man said. “Et merci, Y/N, merci beaucoup” he added. I'm so sorry, Claude. And thank you, Y/N, thank you so much.

The talk with Yuki gave him a lot to think about himself, her and how he treated her and how he wanted to treat her.

[lakemojave]

Mojave's Top Ten Games of 2023 (3 of which actually came out this year)

I figured I should make a list like this at some point, but I didn't actually play many new games this year. Well, I played tons of games for the first time and loved so many of them, but few of them were new releases. At my current stage as a game critic, I'm playing a lot of catchup, trying to get context for current games, playing the classics and the seminal franchises of the medium. I do not have a game of the year pick. Even though I was behind the curve, I still wanna talk about the experiences that moved me this year.

Honorable mentions:

Baldur's Gate 3 (2023): One of the densest, fleshed out, satisfying narrative RPGs the gaming industry has seen in years. Immersive, well written and charming, no two people can have the same experience with this game because of how much variance and player choice is accounted for in the gameplay and script alike. It's for that reason it's not on the list though--not only have I not finished it, I'm also not doing it singleplayer, and am missing out on much of that juicy story content in favor of me and my group's meta-narrative.

Black Mesa (2020): The remake of the first half life is sharp, smooth, and immersive, combining what was visually and narratively compelling about Half Life 2 back into the original story. It has some of my favorite setpieces of the entire half life catalogue now, which is saying a lot. It's off the list in favor of the original.

Dead Space (2023): A triumphant return to the horrors of the Ishimura incident, with insidious twists to the game design and story that disrupt a fan's familiarity with the game world time again. It scared the fuck out of me so many times, but the bittersweet feeling I get thinking about the fate of the Dead Space franchise means RE4 gets its spot.

10. Oxenfree 2: Lost Signals (2023)

The long awaited sequel to 2016's Oxenfree caught me by surprise after playing the first game just before it. Playing the original teen horror, I'm struck by how grating some of the dialogue can be, how sophomoric and cheap it can feel without drinking deep of the content. What makes this version of teen horror so compelling, though, is that through sympathetic participation with Alex, you catch yourself from griping at the young characters for making foolish choices, which is very effective.

What's stunning about this sequel is that in the 7 year gap between games, it's not just the team and the audience that has matured, it's the writing all around. Your character, Riley, is in her early 30s, returning to her hometown and feeling very existential as she peers into the past, the future, and the unknown in between time and space. The world of Camena and Edwards Island is expanded on those lines, the thematic focus becomes resonant and emotionally devastating, and the dynamic with young characters, familiar or not, demonstrates how strong this second chapter to the oxenfree story really is.

9. Resident Evil 4 (2023)

Look. I love a horror game. 2005's Resident Evil 4 may be among the best of them, and it may be timeless in its own right, and it may be foundational to so many other games I love today, but god damn is this remake fun. With sharper visuals and atmosphere than the original, intricate new resource systems like knife durability and parries, and some updated character work, it's safe to say this is a categorically different game than the original. Plenty of material was cut from the main game, like the IT fight or the laser hallway, which found their way into the DRASTICALLY improved Separate Ways expansions, starring Ada Wong. It's not my favorite Resident Evil, and it's far from the scariest, but it's the one with Leon's spin kick, and there's nothing more satisfying than that.

I do maintain a lot of early gripes I had with the remake. When Resident Evil 8: Village came out in 2021, it borrowed a lot of mechanical, narrative, and aesthetic tropes from RE4, updating them to a new game in the wake of the remakes of RE2 and 3. Those remakes were truly transformational masterpieces, blending all of Resident Evil's best aspects to create new, distinct experiences. RE4, the original, didn't really need much updating, it's been ported to hell and back already and is so ubiquitous that there was no real need to bring it back into the zeitgeist. Nothing can really be gained by this remake except for a victory lap for Capcom.

Cynicism aside, FUCK YEAH, TWO CAKES!

8. Mass Effect (2006)

I should say that the version of Mass Effect I'm playing is not the one that came out in 2006. The Legendary edition does a bit of graphical and mechanical tweaks to update some of the dated aspects. That's kind of a shame, because the dated aspects are what's so fascinating about Mass Effect. Between Baldur's Gate 3, Disco Elysium, and now the early Fallout games, I find myself taken by classic CRPG design, which accommodates such a wide variety of player choice. Mass Effect doesn't have too much choice in it--the progression and ending are pretty much fixed from the beginning, you basically choose what flavor of the script that you want.

In that way, I like Mass Effect as a transitional piece--an attempt to bring the aspects of early CRPGS into the modern, console games market, with all the budget EA would give them. The writing and design are...satisfactory. The shooting could be more robust, the characters could have more personality, and to the series' credit those things do come about in Mass Effect 2 (which I'm sure I'll gush about when I finish it).

It's the presentation I love here. Mass Effect has maybe one of my favorite sci fi settings I've ever seen. A vast array of alien civilizations, a rich history filled with interesting lore, a competent portrayal of intergalactic politics, all delivered by characters that are deep and interesting. The voicework is also some of the best I've ever seen, and although there are many standouts, Jennifer Hale's Shepard is just tremendous. Actually playing Mass Effect may be a slog, completionist play might require some of the worst loot grinding I've ever seen, but that is all secondary to the way I was captivated by Mass Effect's version of the final frontier.

7. Half Life (1998)

I did a whole ass 5 hour video essay about Half Life, and I don't wanna belabor how much I like this game and series too much more. I loved Half life 2 and the portal games for years, but it was only for that project that I actually got around to playing this. It's a real bonafide classic, containing so many tropes of modern immersive action games WAY ahead of their time. The setting of Black Mesa is deep and engaging, the environmental storytelling is strong, and the voicework is natural and believable (for the most part.) Sometimes as a game critic I have to give some allowances to an older game for some of its jank and some of its rough edges, let myself see the thing just for what it is without all my modern hangups. I don't have to do that with Half Life like I do for other games. There's parts of it that are rough, like the Interloper and On a Rail chapters, but Half Life feels just as good to play now as it did 25 years ago.

6. Dredge (2023)

There's an old tumblr post that proposes a fishing game that's secretly a horror game. That post imagines a game that starts out normal and comfortable, but as the game goes on the player would catch stranger species of fish, soon finding monsters lurking in the deep and hidden secrets. It got a lot of peoples' imaginations going and engaged a lot of fan artists and even more comments riffing on this idea.

Dredge is that game. I was so gleefully surprised to see this game go through every single one of those steps in the first region alone. The game has a strong atmosphere and great art, leading to some real weird and nasty fish to catch and fill out the weird and spooky encyclopedia. Fishing at night gives you different and weirder fish, but it also raises your panic meter, which can cause hallucinations and open you up to monster attacks. It's a pretty ambiently scary game for the most part, and I almost chalked it up to being more horror themed than actual horror, until this one lagoon where a giant tentacle suddenly shot up at me out of a sudden drop in the ocean floor. I fuckin yelped, actually screamed in a way only two other games have gotten me to do this year.

5. Alien: Isolation (2014)

I have never, in my life, felt more powerless in a game than when I played Alien: Isolation. I'm used to games like Resident Evil, where you have a toolset for survival that is limited, but allows you to give actual pushback towards the zombies trying to get you. I played Amnesia: The Dark Descent this year too, the opposite of this dynamic, where you have NO means of resistance whatsoever, and the binary outcomes of monster encounters of that game completely broke my immersion.

Alien: Isolation actually gives you myriad crafted tools to overcome your obstacles, from human scavengers to androids to the xenomorph herself. Yet, the impossible speed and predatory senses of the monster means that one slip up means instant death, and the death animations are pretty brutal. Through cunning and cautious play, you can slip past the Alien enough times to where you get a flamethrower, which will repel her in a pinch. However, her AI is advanced to the point where she will learn your habits between deaths, look for you in lockers if you hide in them a lot, resist certain tricks like noisemaker bombs or flares. It's in keeping with how the 1979 movie presents her: a perfect killing machine. In fact, its the way so much of the Sevastopol resembles the aesthetic of that early film that not only helps the atmosphere, but makes the alien's power more believable. Immersive and terrifying, Alien: Isolation is a horror triumph.

4. Undertale (2015)

Yeah that's not actually a joke. I really did only play Undertale this year, and I was really actually completely blind going into it. Of all the games I'm happy I got to experience fresh, it was this one. Undertale seems tropey in its game design, story beats, and writing style 8 years later, but that's because so much of its design has been cannibalized by indie developers going after this aesthetic. As a bullet hell, it's...fine. As a meta commentary on retro RPGs and on the act of violence in video games in general, it's incredible. It legitimately gave me immense joy to reach the end and have my stubborn insistence on pacifism challenged even further, and then rewarded in the best possible way. I got to experience it on stream, too, with some friends who had played it previously and one who did not, and we all did the common thing and did funny voices for everybody. It's created some real cherished memories for me, memories that wouldn't have hit as hard if I did not wait to play Undertale.

3. Metal Gear Solid (1998)

Now here's a game I truly thought I'd never get around to. I'm a big fan of the Metal Gear series and when I learned that konami was releasing the master collection pack of the first 3 games, I was fuckin' stoked. If there's one other game that dictated the trajectory of storytelling and presentation of modern games like Half Life did, it's this one.

Having played the first two metal gears, the 2D ones from the late 80s, I was struck by how much of the basic design beats of Metal Gear come directly from the early titles. Seeing them translated into 3D is just incredible--all the prototypical stealth design transcribed so seamlessly into a much more legible visual language to me. The shooting may feel like ass and the bosses may have healthbars the size of Alaska, but the moment to moment sneaking in this game is so intricate and thorough that you really do feel like a tactical master as you go about it.

None of that touches on what's most memorable about Metal Gear Solid, and that's the presentational aspects. The animations and models might be worse than Half Life's, but the writing and voice acting is just world class. David Hayter as Snake, Cam Clarke as Liquid, Christopher Randolph as Otacon, and Patrick Zimmerman as Ocelot (hell even an early Jennifer Hale role) are astounding performances, even today. The cutscenes and dialogue are certainly oversaturated and long, but goddamn if I don't like watching and listening to them. I love this damn game.

2. Bloodborne (2015)

Bloodborne has been more of a myth and less of a game for me. I played some bits at a friend's house in 2017 and never owned a PS4 so I never thought playing it would be possible for me. I obsessively watched lore videos and playthroughs which got me into Dark Souls 3, then Sekiro, then Elden Ring, which has fueled much of my activity on twitch and as a game critic in general. It was only this year that that same friend lent me her PS4 and I played Bloodborne 3 whole times until I 100% the game in a matter of months. The experience was so meaningful to me that I ended up scrapping my first bloodborne video and starting from scratch, this time with Bloodborne Kart dev Lilith Walther as a guest.

I have never been more immersed in a game world than I have been in Bloodborne's. Yharnam is not only such a dense and intricate city, it is drop dead gorgeous in such a grotesque and macabre way. Many words and many writers have already described the surreal hypergothic smokescreen shrouding the insidious cosmic beings steering the terror and bloodshed from out of sight, so I won't repeat them here. You don't forget the sights and sounds of Bloodborne--they linger in your imagination, the visual language shapes your own ability to conceive of images and ideas in horror fiction, twisting the familiar into stranger shapes and forms.

Plus it just feels so fucking good to play. I like From Software titles and their style of combat, and I like how fast combat works in Sekiro and Elden Ring, but neither of those games accommodate brutality like Bloodborne does. You're meant to attack recklessly, cravenly, no blocking, just press the attack again and again until you're drenched in the gore and blood of your foes. You feel like one among the beasts--after all, what difference is there between a predator and the man that hunts them?

1. Signalis (2022)

I have not stopped thinking about Signalis since I played it the first time. The game is like a fucking honeypot for me. It's got Resident Evil style tank controls as an option, with similar combat and inventory management, themes and presentation similar to Silent Hill, and a sci fi flourish akin to Dead Space. So what, it's every great horror game jammed into one retro style amalgamation? Sounds like a great time for me!

That's just the surface, the hook of it all. While the game certainly uses this familiarity to pull you in and make you comfortable and excited for its own terrors, there's a creeping feeling of unease as you continue to revel in the horror and gore that's taken over these halls. Your character, Elster, is a special ops android in a fictional fascist regime, who has abandoned her post to search for her human partner, whose identity eludes her as she slips into delusion. After reaching the depths of the first area, where the space mine turns into a hall of flesh and viscera, the very walls pulsing and dripping, the world suddenly resets, and you find yourself back in the very first zone, now covered in the same blood and gore. The characters cry out in pain at you, begging you to stop, to turn back, to stop prolonging their hell with your own pursuit of an ending. A chalkboard in a classroom with a pretty frivolous note early on now reads "YOU'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE."

If I go on I'm gonna spoil the whole game, but that part there is the essence of Signalis to me. Many games will challenge your own enthusiasm for playing, question the time you spend in the game rather than like, going outside or something. Few games will actively blame you for prolonging the suffering of the game's inhabitants and creating a self contained digital hell. Few games will ask you "why do you want terror?" in the way that Signalis does.

Signalis is a triumph of horror game design. The imagery is horrifically cryptic, the worldbuilding is dense, the monster design and soundscapes are creepy and effective, the gameplay feels desperate and every bullet fired feels like a scream for help. Signalis is my favorite game I played this year, hands down.

[levieske]

(𝟔) 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐞

In which Yuji Itadori accidentally spoils Hana Akiwara’s plans by ingesting Sukuna’s finger, and Satoru Gojo is constantly humbled as a result.

satoru gojo x ofc x suguru geto

[ canon divergence, fix-it au, everybody lives, no kenjaku, no shibuya incident, jjk s1, slow-burn, aged-up characters, age gap, questionable relationships, mentor-student relationships, unresolved sexual tension, more mature and graphic in future chapters, crack heavy for now, tvd references if you squint ]

previous - ao3 link - masterlist - next

On the following Saturday, they saw each other again.

“Hey.”

The soft timbre of his voice cut through the crisp morning air, startling Hana. She turned, her gray eyes locking with his brown ones. She had arrived earlier than him, Suguru noticed.

Their positions had reversed, this time Hana had claimed the bench. She sat with her legs crossed in order to maintain as much warmth as she could, her legs twitching under her wide jeans. Her hands were inside the pockets of her black coat and her enormous white scarf engulfed her neck. Her freezing figure was hard to miss for Suguru. His eyes easily landed on her, the signature cursed energy of her talisman working as a beacon, as he walked past families strolling through the park and children playing in the freshly fallen snow.

Now that the man was within her field of view, Hana inspected him with curiosity. Dressed in a coffee-colored coat, a black turtleneck and black dress pants, he smiled at her. His long, black locks waved with a gust of wind. Hana shrank from the cold, getting up from her seat at the bench. 

“Hey.” She finally greeted back, guiding him through the park’s paths as their walk began. “No monk robes today?”

Hana had half-expected the man would wear his eccentric costume, but she didn’t dislike the alternative either. Both styles suited him, to be honest.

“Thought I’d dress for the occasion.” Suguru quipped, a playful edge to his voice.

“Okay, stop right there, monk man.” Hana halted with an interjection, outstretching an arm in his direction as she put herself in front of him. “Don’t get it twisted, this” Hana gestured between them, “isn’t a date, this is only a business meeting.”

Suguru’s chuckle was low, clearly enjoying the teasing. “One in which I’m buying you lunch?”

“And in which you’re paying me for information. Just business.” The girl affirmed, lifting both her thin eyebrows at him. Suguru stared back at her with an amused expression. They resumed walking, as a devious smile crept down her face. “Didn’t think you were into escorts, Suguru. I’m sorry to inform you that my services don’t extend to that.”

Hana feigned an apologetic grimace as she lifted her face to the older man. A hint of color rose to his cheeks over her bluntness, a rare show of vulnerability that she noted with satisfaction. “I don’t need to pay women to get dates, Akiwara.” He bit back after regaining his composure, and shot her a smile.

“You were the one who said this was a date.” Hana shrugged. She was enjoying annoying this man, and he seemed not to completely detest their banter. It could be worse, Hana guessed. “And, please just call me Hana. I’m not used to people calling me by my family name. It feels weird.”

“A foreigner, eh?” Suguru inquired, looking at her briefly.

“I thought you had already noticed my slight accent. American family, Japanese roots.” Akiwara explained with a nod. “But, this isn’t why we’re here, so shoot.” She stared at him sideways. “What do you want to know?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Geto retorted, his gaze intense as it met hers. “Why are you hiding your gift?”

She sighed. “It’s a long story I’d rather tell you about with a delicious, hot bowl of ramen in front of me.”

“You already have a place in mind.” Geto pondered, his eyebrows arching slightly.

“Yep.” She confirmed with a nod. “But, what I meant was what do you want to get out of this meeting overall? The more information, the higher my price gets.”

“I just want to know more about you.” Suguru responded, shaking his head at her attitude. “You really want the money.”

“You’re the first curse user I’m attempting to bleed dry; I need to know how much I can bargain.” Hana retorted with a smile that just made the other curse user shake his head. “Besides, you haven’t asked for your money back even though I’ve essentially scammed you.”

“The cursed object is useless in the grand scheme of things. You, on the other hand, have piqued my interest, Hana.” Suguru admitted, her name rolling off his tongue softly, unfamiliarly. The woman couldn’t say she hated the sound. “I see it as an investment. Why do you want the money?”

“Oh, it’s for college.” She revealed nonchalantly.

Suguru Geto was growing more and more curious about her as she spoke. Why was a talented curse user wasting her potential in mundane stuff? Hana anticipated his thoughts, rolling her eyes in amusement. It seemed most curse users struggled to balance their ordinary lives with their jujutsu. No wonder almost all of them seemed a bit unhinged. Or at least the ones Hana and Kenji had contacted through the underground market did.

They settled in silence until they arrived at the cozy restaurant Hana had an eye on for some time. She could have brought them somewhere more expensive, and lucrate from Suguru’s money, but she was somewhat of a picky eater and she wanted to at least enjoy her meal if she wouldn’t be enjoying his company.

Not that she wasn’t having a great time annoying Suguru. It was surprising that he hadn’t lost his temper at her yet. Most curse users became somewhat irritable after realizing they were scammed by Kenji and Hana.

Meeting this stranger was probably reckless on Hana’s part, but she was confident in her abilities, and Suguru didn’t seem intent on harming her. It didn’t look like he was planning on killing her, which was a good sign. He hadn’t even defended himself the other day and was offering more money than any of her other gullible clients had. She would likely face some scolding from Kenji when he’d find out, that was -of course- if she made it out alive. It didn’t look like Suguru was planning on killing her, which was a good sign. Even though she knew her brother didn’t approve of her methods, the money she was bringing home would make him less angry.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, Hana and Suguru were escorted to a table. Hana shrugged off her coat, revealing her oversized cream sweater. As she moved, the sweater slipped off one shoulder, exposing her collarbone. Her silver necklace -the talisman- glinted against her skin. Hana noticed Suguru’s eyes roaming over her body, curiosity evident in his gaze, but he remained silent. He also removed his coat, folding it neatly and putting it over his chair. The black turtleneck he wore clung to his form, accentuating his muscular physique. Hana found herself momentarily captivated by him before shaking herself out of it. She sat down unceremoniously when he turned around, and Suguru also took a seat.

It wasn’t exactly the time to be ogling, no matter how attractive the man was. This was a business meeting and, as the saying goes, you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure.

The menu was handed to both curse users, and they quietly scanned the menu. Hana already had a specific ramen in mind, but her eyes darted over the array of dishes anyway before they placed their orders. It was Suguru who finally shattered the silence that had formed between them.

“Why are you hiding your gift?” Geto inquired, repeating his question from earlier, his gaze locked onto Hana’s necklace as she subconsciously fiddled with it. “Why are you holding back?”

“I thought I said I wanted a bowl of ramen in front of me before I started.” Akiwara teased playfully and the man playfully rolled his brown, sharp eyes at her. “Alright, alright. It’s a safety measure. I could suck all your cursed energy by mistake, killing you.”

Geto tilted his head. She seemed to have confirmed a hunch he had. “So, you don't have full control over your technique?”

“More or less.” Hana admitted just as the waiter arrived with their food, the delicious smell filling the air. “I’ve been using jujutsu only for a few months.” This intrigued Suguru, his eyes narrowing slightly. “And I’m not used to sensing this much cursed energy. My technique can be overwhelming, and it could potentially expose me. You have seen it for yourself.”

As they began to eat, Suguru leaned back for a moment, his expression thoughtful. “What really makes you stand out to sorcerers is the talisman.” Hana tensed, her previously calm demeanor evaporating with his words. The man quickly took notice of that. “I’m a curse user like you, you don’t have to worry about that. I cut ties with sorcerers years ago.”

Realization dawned on Hana, her posture relaxing slightly. “If you’ve worked with them, then you already understand why I don’t exactly want to attract attention to myself.”

Suguru nodded, his brown eyes never leaving her gray ones. “Your clan is thought to be extinct, they were involved in some questionable stuff in the past and they have been persecuted since.” He said softly. “I’m just surprised they didn’t find you before I did. Why come to Japan of all places?”

Hana’s smile was a bittersweet thing, setting a few more lines in Suguru’s frown. “I’m just tired of having to fit in with non-sorcerers because sorcerers fear us. I’m tired of having to bend myself for their morals. I don’t want to do jujutsu for their sake, or from the goodness of my heart.” She sighed, her head drooping slightly. Unbeknownst to her, Suguru’s expression softened with understanding. “I want a world where my technique isn't persecuted and my family can stop living in fear.”

They continued to eat in silence before Suguru responded. “You’ve been robbed of the experience of jujutsu. I can relate to that to an extent.”

Hana hummed. Her client wore a determined face, which made her wonder what were the horrors he had seen. The world of jujutsu was itself cruel, and not only for the grim past that surrounded her family.

“I didn’t come to Japan to commit mass murder, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Hana joked and flashed Suguru a genuine, infectious smile. “It would be lovely to get rid of those assholes, but then more assholes would spawn. So, I think I’ll settle for proving them wrong and showing them that powerful jujutsu can be born into my family despite all the killing they did to please their morals.” Hana gesticulated with a scowl. “I don’t really know how we’ll get to that, but it’s an on-going plan.”

Suguru’s soft laugh echoed her statement. “So, you’ve come here to get stronger right under their noses as a big fuck you.” Suguru’s eyes sparkled with understanding and respect, Hana saw. “It’s impressive.”

Hana chuckled before taking a sip from her water. Looking down at her bowl, she had finished her whole meal. She was a quick eater, alright? “Did I satisfy your curiosity?”

Suguru seemed lost in thought before he answered her, his gaze scrutinizing her features. “I think you just made me hungry for more.” Hana playfully rolled her eyes. He reached into his coat pocket and handed an envelope to Hana. “Hope this helps your college fund.”

“Will do, thank you very much.”Hana replied, pocketing the money and standing up to grab her coat.

“We can hold the next meeting at my compound.” Suguru suggested, watching her movements.

“Oh, no, no, no.” Hana shook her head, her short hair following her. She put on her coat and wrapped her scarf around her neck. “No more meetings. If you ever need someone to locate a cursed object, contact me.” Suguru was visibly taken aback by her blunt rejection, his eyes widening slightly as he stared at her. Yet, there was no anger in his gaze. “I promise I won’t pull any tricks next time, for a higher price, of course.”

The curse user just stared at her. It may have been the first time Suguru’s charm had failed to recruit someone, but he would never confess that aloud. Hana Akiwara, his fraudulent seller, was simply different. She was driven by a similar passion to his and seemed to take a perverse pleasure in draining his wallet, but that wasn’t enough for her to surrender. There was something else that kept her from making that decision, and Suguru was itching for answers. But, as much as he would love to just get her to join his cult- his family, the older curse user wanted to see how things would play out.

He had a feeling they would cross paths again soon, and it wouldn’t be because of him.

Lost in his thoughts, Hana exited the establishment completely unscathed.

It had been a fascinating encounter, she gave him that. This was the second curse user she had met in person, and he had left a great impression, regardless of what she first thought his character would be. His whole cult-leader persona was captivating and it wasn’t like Kenji and her had that many allies, but Hana had no interest in making deep bonds with what both Akiwara twins strictly saw as cash cows.

Most curse users were a little bit sick in the head, and she didn’t want word to spread around about them. This would be her first and only meeting with a client, she was sure of that. She repeated that mentally a few times, she couldn’t stop thinking about how they seemed to have found an unexpected common ground. As genuine as he seemed, he was still a stranger and whatever connection they may have might as well be as fake as his smile had been the other day. Plus, neither her grandmother nor her brother would be pleased about any of these meetings. Her grandmother’s health had been on a steady decline lately, and she had just been admitted to the hospital. Hana didn’t want to add to her worries in her final days. Hana and Kenji would be visiting her on Christmas, and she hoped the stranger wouldn’t bother them in the near future.

In the present, a year and a half later, Hana returned the necklace to its original place, nestled on the frame of the photo she had with Mineko. She sighed at the memories of the person who would eventually give her the confidence to stop using her grandmother’s old necklace: Suguru Geto.

˖ ⁺ ‧ ₊ ˚  ♡  ˚ ₊ ‧ ⁺ ˖

It had been just a couple of days after their last encounter with Satoru, when the siblings decided to reach out to him. As much as they were enjoying their tranquility and their quality time free of sorcerers, the Akiwaras needed to make their requests known. Hana had obtained his number all thanks to Yuji. Now the older sorcerer had the ability to bother her anytime, but it was a price she was willing to pay in order to bargain their “alliance” before the man decided not to be so benevolent with them.

In their three-hour-long text message discussion, Gojo and the Akiwaras had agreed the twins would officially become sorcerers under four simple clauses:

One - The siblings' enrollment in Jujutsu Tech would be postponed until further notice.

It wasn’t confirmed exactly when they would have to join the school. Gojo had only said they would be enrolled for the Sister-School Goodwill Event, which was when he will inform everybody about Yuji’s resurrection and all. He didn’t specify a concrete date, but Hana suspected it would be around the end of summer. Still, the twins clung to the remnants of their normalcy. They went to work, attended their classes and completed their mundane routines they had before, choosing to ignore for the time being that they had already lost all of it.

Two - There would be no more threats of execution or any kind towards them and their clan.

Kenji had annoyed Satoru to no end with this request, despite his countless assurances that they would be fine because he was the strongest and such kind of bullshit. Regardless of the importance of his name, Hana recalled it didn’t stop the high-ups from setting a trap for Yuji. It was then when Gojo had to surrender and accept the fact that they could flee if things got ugly, not needing a trial or other sorcerer bureaucracy, only if they didn’t commit mass murder or something. Kenji then pointed out that the higher-ups could just incriminate them with false evidence, and Satoru and him spent a good half an hour debating.

Hana remembered with a chuckle how her brother had driven the man to mental exhaustion. In the end, Gojo couldn’t promise them that the elders wouldn’t be a problem, but did promise them to have their backs. He’d make sure the elders would have to just suck it up if they weren’t happy with their clan and their presence. Hana was actually pleased with his unhingedness for once, as it played in their favor.

Three - Gojo would pay for their expenses.

Now that the twins were sure Satoru’s mind was more than a bit stunted from Kenji’s insistence, they got to the money issue. They were going to ditch their respective jobs to join the school, so the least Gojo could do was cover their rent and groceries. The sorcerer had actually found their thought process amusing, but he agreed without any resistance. He smugly told them he was loaded, which earned some mocking and rolled eyes from the twins on the other side of the phone. Satoru also informed them that the school paid students for their assignments, but the twins still wanted to mooch off of him. They didn’t feel guilty when it was him who proudly announced his wealthy status.

Gojo had a feeling that the twins had no qualms about taking advantage of others in business matters. It made him wonder how they actually managed to afford both tuition and an apartment in Kichijoji with minimum wage jobs. Satoru knew the siblings were playing some kind of scheme to manipulate him into agreeing to their demands by being incredibly insufferable. They had mastered the art of bending things to their will, he had to admit.

Regardless, Satoru would have probably agreed to their requests anyway, although he enjoyed seeing how they operated. Even if that meant that Hana and Kenji would drain him financially.

Four - The siblings would have to report to him.

After all, they were Gojo’s responsibility and he was supposed to supervise them. The sorcerer established this after the twins were satisfied with their demands. Hana and Kenji had talked about everything but this, knowing they would have to give up their freedom in some kind of way. Even though Satoru had assured them he wouldn’t be too invasive, Hana had a feeling their opinions on the matter would differ. He promised them they could have their privacy, stay at their apartment or fly back home if they wanted, but they needed to be in contact with him. He just wanted to be informed.

Hana suspected he would have them monitored in some way, like a helicopter parent of sorts, but agreed nonetheless to his only clause. Kenji had done the same after complaining for a bit, completing their ‘contract’.

Hana would have her suspicions proven correct a little bit over a week later in Ginza, where Kenji and her were at the moment. The older curse user stared at the map on her phone and guided her brother though the busy streets, finally approaching an unfamiliar building in a residential area. Inspecting the streets, Hana didn’t see a recognizable mop of white hair sticked up in a toilet brush fashion.

“Where the hell is Satoru?” She muttered, almost grumbling as her brother joined in the search for the sorcerer.

They had been spending their time without any jujutsu related incidents during the past week, until she received a message from Satoru the previous day. He had been brief, only sending her the location, date and hour. He didn’t even answer her questions or offer any kind of reply. It had been radio silence since then and the siblings still complied. They had embarked on a 40-minute train journey and a 10-minute walk to what could probably mean their death.

Trust? Yeah, Hana wasn’t there yet.

The girl expected some kind of communication back if the sorcerer wanted them to keep in contact with him. They didn’t even know what they were getting into, yet they believed Satoru was going to ask them to do something for him. Keeping that in mind, Hana had chosen to braid her hair as usual to keep it out of her way, and wore workout clothes: a black open hoodie, a tight crop top, some wide gray joggers and a pair of comfortable sneakers. Kenji had picked an outfit in a similar fashion, his colorscheme varying in different greens. They probably just looked like thieves to the residents of Ginza, noticing how the women grabbed their purses or how the men looked at them with suspicion when they walked past them, but the twins ignored them. 

Just when Kenji was about to complain, Satoru emerged from a car in front of them with Yuji. It was the same car he had driven her last time, Hana noticed. Something sporty and white, it looked like a new model. She stopped eyeing the vehicle with interest to stare at the late man, lifting her thin eyebrows.

“Hey.” Hana greeted the newcomers as they approached. Kenji, who was leaning on the building, simply nodded and straightened himself.

Yuji waved his hand at them, giving Hana a tiny smile she reciprocated. “Sorry for being late.”

“Glad you could make it.” Satoru flashed them a grin, staring back at her through his blindfold. Hana wondered how he hadn’t been stopped yet by the police for driving with that on. “Were you waiting for long?”

“You called, we came.” Han rolled her eyes. “What do you want?”

“You’ll see. Now follow me.”

He made a gesture with his hand and his three students accompanied him inside the apartment complex. They entered the polished lobby and made their way to the elevator. The four of them filled the tiny space when its door opened. The silence inside the minuscule metal box was heavy, filled with palpable tension between them. The doors closed and Hana found herself inadvertently locking gazes with Satoru. Or at least, she assumed she did, given the blindfold. The man was literally in front of her and his large figure loomed over her, it wasn’t intentional on any side. Hana lowered her gaze, as she waited for the elevator to ascend.

But it didn’t.

Gojo raised his eyebrows under his blindfold. “I forgot to press the button. Whoops.” He turned around, hitting both Akiwaras somehow on his way. Hana’s body collided with the walls of the elevator and Kenji hit Yuji as the older sorcerer moved. It happened again when he turned back to Hana after choosing the floor, deepening her frown. “Now we’re ready.”

This idiot.

The elevator did ascend this time, both Hana and Kenji not too pleased having to spend more time than necessary with Satoru in close quarters. Once they reached the selected floor, the four of them stepped out into a hallway. Their poor excuse of a mentor led them to a door at the end, knocking in a rhythmic pattern.

The door swung open, revealing a tall blond man with sharp features and tiny glasses. He was a sorcerer, one who wore a business suit for some reason. The suit consisted of a blue dress shirt underneath a tan blazer, with matching slacks and a dotted tie. A little bit tacky for Hana’s liking, but she still felt underdressed in her sweatpants. If it weren’t for the amount of cursed energy he emanated, both curse users would have mistaken him for a civilian.

His expression was unreadable as he examined his guests.

“Nanami!” Gojo shattered the silence when he greeted the aforementioned. The blindfolded sorcerer flashed a big smile that the man didn’t return. In fact, his voice only seemed to age Nanami further. Was that the effect Gojo had in the long-term, wrinkles and a resting bitch face? “Thanks for letting us use your place.”

The man stepped aside with a nod, which worked both as a welcome as a resignation. “It’s not a problem.” He said, though his tone suggested it was a minor inconvenience.

Satoru’s smile widened and he ushered the twins and Yuji inside. “As you may have suspected, this is going to be your first mission as sorcerers.” The man announced with a slightly off-putting cheery tone. Hana and Kenji shared a look, as their new mentor continued. “I won’t be able to lead you this time, but don’t worry! I have a friend you can trust.” Gojo put his arm around Nanami’s shoulders, who noticeably stiffened. “This is Nanami Kento, the ex-salaryman jujutsu sorcerer!”

Both Hana and Kenji grimaced at the man’s expression; his frown only deepening. “Please don’t call me that.” Nanami interjected, his annoyance thinly veiled beneath his composed exterior.

Still, Gojo kept talking as if he hadn’t said anything. “Plenty of jujutsu sorcerers are oddballs,” he stated, prompting an eye roll from the older Akiwara, “but since he worked for a company, he’s got a good head on his shoulders. He’s a first-grade sorcerer and my underclassman, too.”

“I’m sure no one would want to hear you saying that about them.” The trio noticed Kento was slowly but surely losing his patience with the blindfolded sorcerer. It made Hana wonder how many years of pure discipline had taken him not to snap at Satoru every time he opened his damn mouth.

“Ex-salaryman? Why didn’t you become a jujutsu sorcerer from the start?” Yuji inquired, with a confused gaze directed at the blond man.

Hana shrugged before replying. “Clearly, not everyone wants to be in that school, Yuji.”

“We are not even here willingly.” Kenji added, making Yuji deflate with a hum. “And what even is a first-grade sorcerer? Isn’t he a bit old to be still studying?”

Hana nodded, but before she could add anything, Kento cut their banter. “We should greet each other first.” The man bowed. “Nice to meet you, Itadori and Akiwaras.”

“Oh, yes, nice to meet you, too.” Itadori responded, also bowing, and Hana and Kenji mimicked his actions.

Hana straightened her back, her gaze fixed on Nanami. “Please, use our first names.”

“It’s going to get confusing if you don’t.” Kenji explained, nodding in agreement to his sister.

The three sorcerers observed the twins, slightly unnerved by their synchronized speech. Even their mannerisms were alike.

“Alright, Hana and Kenji.” Nanami conceded, understandingly. “Please, take a seat before we continue.”

The trio nodded in awkwardness, as the five of them still stood by the entrance of his flat. They walked further into his home, settling into the comfort of the couch. Gojo, already familiarized with the environment or simply lacking manners, claimed a dining chair for himself and placed it near the coffee table. Nanami made no comment about it, choosing instead to seat himself in the armchair. The interior of his flat was warm and cozy. It made Hana feel like they were intruding on some kind of sacred place and, judging with the amount of lines in Nanami’s frown, they probably were.

Did Gojo ask him to use his place or did he just appear with the three students on his door?

Nanami resumed the conversation, his gaze intensifying. “I studied at Jujutsu Tech, and one thing I learned is that jujutsu sorcerers are shit!”

“Huh?” Yuji was perplexed, but both Hana and Kenji shared a laugh, not really expecting the man to voice that. Hana had a feeling they would be getting along.

“Then I worked at your typical company, and one thing I learned,” he continued, his eyes narrowing with conviction, “is that work is shit!”

Itadori couldn’t contain his surprise. “Really?!”

Nanami nodded. “If both are equally shit, I’ll take the one I’m more suited to.” He didn’t really leave room for discussion, explaining himself nonchalantly. “That’s the only reason I came back.”

“That’s dark.” Yuji mumbled, still taken aback. 

Satoru nodded, inclining towards him. “Right?”

“Itadori, please don’t believe I’m of the same mindset as Gojo.” Nanami clarified, his gaze fixed on the younger sorcerer. “I do trust and have faith in him.” Satoru looked at Hana with pride, smiling widely. Okay, maybe she wouldn’t be getting along that well with Kento… “But I do not respect him!”

Gojo’s expression shifted to one of surprise, pouting. “Huh?!”

Hana couldn’t contain her laugh behind her hand, and Kenji didn’t even try to hide it. Scratch that, they would definitely be getting along. Hana was actually pleased with a sorcerer for a change.

“I hate the way the higher-ups do things, but I believe in rules and regulations.” Kento continued with a sigh. “This conversation is dragging on.” He disliked Satoru and liked getting to the point? “In short, I don’t recognize any of you as sorcerers, yet. Even if you, Itadori, do carry the bomb we know as Sukuna, please make an effort to prove that you are useful.”

“Lately, I’ve been forced to realize how weak and useless I am. But I’ll become strong. I have to be strong, or I won’t be able to choose how I die.” Yuji’s voice was full of determination as he locked his brown eyes on Kento’s hazel ones. “I’ll make you recognize me, even without that advice. Just give me a bit more time.”

The man just offered a dismissive shrug. “Say that to the higher-ups, not me.”

“Oh, right…” Itadori mused, his cheeks tingling with embarrassment.

“Frankly, I don’t care!” Namai exclaimed bluntly, eliciting chuckles from the twins at his sudden outburst.

Yuji grimaced. “Okay, I get it!”

By that point, Hana and Kenji had barely spoken any word, instead enjoying their new chaperone’s critique about his kind. It was honestly refreshing. In the end, the twins had just discovered what Gojo regarded as monitoring: Kento Nanami, a hot salaryman by day and jujutsu sorcerer by night or something. A quiet and polite man, something both curse users appreciated in comparison to Satoru's petulant nature.

It seemed that the man and the twins were a bit alike. They both returned to jujutsu after trying to abandon that side of them. Well, the twins’ situation had really nothing to do with him, but Hana just enjoyed his presence. She was able to respect him already, and he seemed more reliable than Gojo anyways. What puzzled her was the fact that Nanami was supposed to be younger than Gojo and they both were still attending school…

Eventually, Hana snapped out of her thoughts and voiced her question, interrupting whatever the older sorcerers were bickering about. “You mentioned he was your underclassman, just how old are you, Satoru?”

Nanami’s eyebrow arched at the use of his colleague’s first name.

“Isn’t Nanami a bit older?” Kenji chimed in, his thoughts having gone the same route as his sister’s.

“He’s actually younger than me.” Satoru deadpanned, staring at the twins through his blindfold. “I’m 26 and he's 25.”

“It may appear so because you lack manners and act like a child.” Kento remarked. A hint of a smile played at the corners of his mouth, the Akiwaras noticed.

“That was actually pretty accurate.” Hana didn’t even try to hide her laugh this time, smiling at the man’s jab. “Why didn’t I meet you first?”

“I’m not that bad!” Satoru whined and protested, pouting at her.

Kento ignored both of them, sighing. “We’re getting off topic. We are set to investigate a murder at a cinema.”

“Wait, hold on!” Kenji interrupted the older man, frowning. “You’re 25 and still studying? Just how long do we have to keep training?”

“We’re not-” Kento stopped himself and sighed, rubbing his temples. Maybe he wasn’t enjoying their company as much as they were enjoying his. Whoops. “We have already graduated, it’s like college, four years.” His clarification made Kenji exhale, his fears dissipating. Hana also relaxed by his side. “Grades are how we rank the strength of jujutsu sorcerers and curses. Has he not explained anything?”

Nanami’s glare at Gojo was sharp as the twins shook their heads, innocently amplifying the blonde’s disdain towards the white-haired sorcerer. The latter offered an apologetic smile that wasn't apologetic at all.

“Well, now seems like a good time for a quick lesson.” Nanami finally concluded.

˖ ⁺ ‧ ₊ ˚  ♡  ˚ ₊ ‧ ⁺ ˖

previous - ao3 link - masterlist - next

and we're back! geto is in the flashbacks and nanami had been introduced in the present hehe

the next chapters are going to be a bit more canon compliant, but don't worry! no shibuya here. i can't deal with what's going on in the manga nowadays so… yeah, no shibuya and no kenjaku for me!

i'm not entirely proud of this chapter, but i wanted to update and keep going!!! if i reread it any longer i'd go crazy, i'll just probably revist this later on

as always, comments and suggestions are highly appreciated! hope you guys like how it's turning out <3

[callsign-speedy]

my up to date thoughts about the mexico gp (everything in brackets is an afterthought)

- absolutely mental first lap feel bad for tsunoda.

- awh poor albon

- lando/ max incident absolutely mental. dangerous from max but rb engineer calling it whining…? it was a dangerous move and he deserved the 10 second penalty. frankly he deserved to give the place back but hey ho🤷‍♀️

- poor alonso having to retire didn’t hear the reason though, (if anyone did let me know in the comments please)

- hilarious comment ‘that’s a first world problem’ after leclerc mentions his water spilling while zig zagging to keep his tyres warm

- perez 10 second penalty as well for that start. how did no one see that at rb

- oh my god another 10 second penalty, will verstappen finish in the points? god i hope not🫣(absolutely shocking finish from max, thought i did expect it. well done verstappen)

- no 5 second penalty between lawson and perez, which might be the only good news they get today

- oop lap 26 and max’s tyres aren’t holding up. if lando holds on and waits he can overtake easily while max pits and takes his penalty.

- mental that this driver (verstappen) took a 20 second penalty and is still in 11th place. such a once in a generation talent

- piastri seventh, in the points. we’d like higher but for lap 31 we’re happy for now (we being me)

- take that back max is now 9th, feel like i’m watching history. i can despise his team but he’s such a talent that i can’t be anything but awed by the man. i’m not a redbull fan but by god am i a max verstappen fan

- lovely norris in 3rd and piastri up and on but gets overtaken again by hamilton.

- russell front flap broken, bad news for mercedes

- misfire for sainz out of turn three, whats happening there ( i did miss it, please let me know if it was mentioned)

- oop max’s tyres aren’t working again by his own words😁

- max overtaken lawson, nice work but lets see what these tyres are saying

- hopefully piastri holds off max

- poor franco and his steering, hopefully all stays well. the power steering system apparently but i’m hoping williams work that out

- russell can take carry on with that front wing, good for him

- piastri has just pitted so McLaren clearly don’t want him trying to hold off max and we’re higher than rb in the constructors championship and oscar is no wherenear the championship like lando is so no reason to scrap the car fighting max and hamilton is defending quite well 8 second gap to lewis i think

- max has reported he has no grip and perez in 17th, not good for redbull

- piastri back down the 12th so we’ll be fighting hard to get back in the points, but piastri is flying on his new tyres so thats a possibility and it is being said that with max hurting on his new tyres piastri can close the 20 sec gap between them and fight him off by the end of the race (clearly that didn’t happen but we tried our best and we’re in the points with a crucial constructors championship fight so i’m happy with that)

- piastri in 11th now so we can do it, especially with the way he’s chasing gasly down

- and on lap 44, oscar has chased down gasly and overtaken, we’re officially in the points

- norris has officially just taken fastest lap

- hamilton 0.607 from russell and closing, will there be an overtake?

- driver of the day voted for ✅ oscar ofc, some good overtaking there and i can’t think of anyone else to vote for tbh

- piastri 0.646 from hulkenberg hopefully we see a overtake

- oscar 6 seconds from nico, seems like he’s a P8 this race which is still okay he’s in the points and much higher than where he started

- lando’s a second from charles hopefully he can overtake take him in 10 laps

- 0.557 hamilton from russell, mercedes don’t want to tell george to give it up but hamilton might just do it himself (and he did)

- oop lando 0.667 from charles, can he overtake him?

- charles leclerc off the track, nearly into the barriers in lap 63, overtake from norris over charles, charles won’t be happy but he still has points and he’s still in the podium, so look up and on leclerc (P3, he’ll be upset but he’s up there so hopefully he doesn’t beat himself up too bad)

- 1.19.858 fastest lap for lando, an extra point which is vital for the constructors and drivers championship

- norris reporting wind has picked up, typically means rain is coming, how will they fare (thankfully it held off until the end of the race)

- lap 65 it’s a double ferrari podium and norris in the middle so far, if it stays like that… who knows🤷‍♀️( it did)

- hamilton trying an overtake on his teammate and no dice, shame for lewis having to sit and wait again

- and hamilton had overtaken on lap 66 with extra pace

- bit of damage for lawson taken from colapinto, sending him into the pits

- and race control have noted franco/liam incident in regards to colapinto taken off track and coming back into lawson (colapinto received a 10 second penalty)

- bit of jovial joking with perez being told there may be debris in turn 12 and being told he can check the highlights later, and he is ‘watching them now’

- being mentioned norris racing down the man he ‘started a bromance with’🤣

- norris 5 seconds from race leader sainz with 1 lap to go, can’t see him coming up to sainz now

- perez is being boxed for an attempt on fastest lap in what i assume is an attempt for an extra point but as far as my understanding goes it’s only given for top 10 and perez is 17th so…? (can anyone explain that to me)

- and race leader and pole holder carlos sainz wins the mexico grand prix, well done smooth operator and well done tifosi

- in more exciting news for me, norris in 2nd and a podium for mclaren, also tightening that gap between lando and max so thank god for that, well done lando and well done papaya army

(didn’t see who got driver of the day so if you know, please let me know and any errors i’ve made, don’t feel scared to mention them in the comments)

[mqverick]

Waking On Air || chapter 6

Sleeping peacefully in your bed, you were cradling a pillow to your chest. The sun was beaming through the blinds causing you to stir slightly. It was chilly outside, blanket clung over your shoulders as you groaned when the first beam of sunlight hit your face. Your head was still throbbing from everything you’d experienced with Maverick last night; his hot breath still ghosting over your lips — you couldn’t get him out of your mind, which lead to you having some very intense dreams about him closing the gap between your lips and kissing you senseless.

With a heavy heart, you peeled yourself out of bed, (not) ready to face another hard day. You knew Iceman would question how you’d been feeling last night due to the continuous dodges of his calls — and frankly you hadn’t even thought of any excuses yet, nor cared to come up with any.

Your mind was consumed by Pete Mitchell and every little bit about him; how welcoming and loving his hug had been, how touch deprived you felt after the loss of physical intimacy with him, how he looked at you as if you were his everything, how he’d hovered over your lips, just a breath away from pressing his own softly against yours. You were all about Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete.

At Top Gun, your mind was still racing, especially after knowing that Maverick was just a few feet away from you (and Tom, but his existence had grown irrelevant since the almost kiss incident). You eased a little when Goose came up to you with a wide grin, announcing that Carole and Bradley would be coming to visit for a week.

You loved Carole — she was your girl-friend, the only person you felt free to talk to about anything and honestly, she decided to come the right time with everything that had been happening lately. With her, you were in a judgement free zone; you had an utterly great deal of trust in her and the feeling was mutual. You felt like crying when Goose mentioned that Maverick would be tagging along — and that apparently, both of you were invited over to their place for dinner.

It came with its price; being friends with Goose. He was Maverick’s best buddy, his RIO, it only made sense that they’d come together as a package deal, which meant that there would be no possible way to avoid him. Not that you really wanted to.

Except you did.

You had to start focusing on Tom again. Even thought it turned out as an unpleasant experience to you, you’d promised to give him another chance — you really wanted to and you truly believed he deserved it. Tom, it would be — no more letting yourself get wrapped around the ridiculous Mitchell charm that had you swooning in the air.

Having just arrived outside of Goose’s door, you knocked on the wooden surface, closing your eyes momentarily and preparing yourself to greet Maverick, who Goose had informed you was already there. You flinched a little when the door opened to reveal him holding little Bradley on his arms. His face looked pink, you supposed it was because the kid had been exhausting him with his games.

“Hey, you,” he breathed softly, giving you a little smile and scooting away to let you in. You returned the expression, muttering shyly a hi back. “Look who’s here, Bradley!” Pete exclaimed enthusiastically, handing him to you gently. You hugged the younger boy, taking him in your arms and spinning him around. He giggled, tiny fingers wrapped around your longer ones.

“You’ve grown so much, Bradley! I missed you.”

Maverick grin was threatening to tear his face in two — seeing you with a kid was making his heart beat rapidly against his rib cage. “Goose and Carole are in the kitchen,” he informed you and you looked up at him, nodding and letting Bradley know that you’d be right back. You made your way in the kitchen, squealing when you saw Carole. The blonde’s lips parted in silent surprise, eyes widening with joy and within minutes she was asphyxiating you in a tight embrace.

“Man, all this time I thought my occupation would kill me but you’ve been the secret assassin all along,” you joked, trying to free yourself from the hug because it was starting to hurt. Carole slapped your arm playfully in response.

“I haven’t seen you in years, I can’t believe it!” You both smiled and hugged again, the corner of your eye catching Goose in his ‘Kiss The Chef’ apron awing at you two. “God, you’ve got to fill me in on everything.”

A good amount of thirty minutes passed, having ended up telling Carole about literally everything, including the situation between Tom and Pete. It surprised you nonetheless how unbelievably unbothered she looked when you mentioned you might be having feelings for Maverick. Were you really that transparent?

“I love Mav, Roger, I’m not going to lie to you. That boy has been nothing but a delight to me and my family for as long as he and Goose have known each other — trust me, Nick has painted the picture between you and him so I could already figure out that you like him.”

“I don’t like him,” you denied, your inner voice laughing sarcastically in your head. Right that moment, Maverick walked into the kitchen, holding hands with Bradley and asking if the food was ready. Your voice got caught in your throat, which didn’t go unnoticed by Carole.

“You might’ve convinced me if you didn’t stop breathing the moment he walked inside,” she whispered to you after Maverick left. Your cheeks burned knowingly with embarrassment, eyes darting on the floor. “You both need to stop being so childish about it. You’re grown enough to know that the heart wants what the heart wants.”

It was true; you knew that. The heart wanted what it wanted and it was painful enough to have you emotionally wrecked; torn between dread of betrayal and heartbreak and chasing what you wondered could be love. All that you knew was that every time Maverick looked at you, you died a little bit inside knowing that it would be wrong to simply grab him then and there and kiss him like it was your last day on earth.

You excused yourself, seemingly upset but not bothering to care as you walked back into the living room. You stilled against a wall at the sight of Pete Mitchell — the cockiest man of them all — curled up on the rug, making takeoff noises and waving around a model plane in front of Bradley, who was having the time of his life. Your lips curled upwards at the image, a newfound fuzzy feeling tugging at your heartstrings.

Maverick’s head snapped towards your direction when the sound of a cough echoed in the living room — it was Goose, who’d been trying to hold back a snicker from watching you find yourself in a head over heels moment. The RIO rushed away from you before his friend could even see him and you wanted to punch him with inhumane force. Trying to play it off, you cleared your throat and approached the pilot, kneeling down on the carpet next to him and turning your attention to Bradley. The little boy hugged you, giggling.

Your head unintentionally turned towards Maverick, whose heart clenched painfully as he reminisced about the fact that you couldn’t be his. He gave you a tight lipped smile, bringing out a hand to gently caress Bradley’s blond hair.

You didn’t even realize how fast the time was going until you looked at the sunset outside of a window that was partly covered by a thin beige curtain. Bradley and you were seated on the couch, the younger Bradshaw having the laughs of his life bouncing up and down on your lap.

Maverick was somewhere in the kitchen with Goose — you occasionally scanned your eyes through the little window-thingy on the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room to find Pete stealing glances from you, which had you all flushed and hot.

“Roger, promise not to kill me,” Carole begged sweetly, standing over your shoulder. “Goose and I haven’t seen each other for a long time and we thought it’d be kind of nice for us to go grab a couple of drinks together. Tonight.”

“What about Bradley?”

“Well…” she trailed off suggestively, looking over at Maverick.

Realization hit you instantly, taking over your facial expressions as you glared at Carole. “No. No, Carole, don’t do this to me.”

“I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I’m really not,” the blonde said with a smirk and slight raise of her shoulders. You lifted Bradley off your lap, placing him on the ground as you stood up, ready to strangle Carole and go for Goose next. By the time you were about to react, the newly reunited couple announced that they would be taking off for a night of ‘fun’, as Nick liked to put it, leaving you, Maverick and Bradley trying not to suffocate into the awkward tension that had built up.

Clueless to your lack of emotion, the kid ran to his room happily, imitating airplane sounds. You plopped back on the couch with a heart-clenching sigh, rubbing your eyes in exhaustion.

“I hate your RIO. I fucking hate him,” you gritted through your teeth, not bothering to open your eyes.

“What can I say, Goose is a fabulous wingman,” Maverick replied proudly. You hated him as well, especially his smug demeanor and smirk.

“I’m going to ignore you through the rest of this night and go take a shower. Can you put Bradley to sleep?” you announced, already making your way to Goose and Carole’s room. Maverick obliged to your request. You carefully shut the door, not trusting it open when the cocky pilot was in the same place as you, knowing you’d be bathing. You peeled your clothes off of you in a hurry, deciding to wash your hair as well.

When you stepped into the shower, you let your body relax and follow the rhythm of the hot water dripping down your back. Truth was that part of you, the same one that’d been complicating both your loyalty to Iceman and relationship with Maverick, was sort of grateful for Goose’s wingman skills. Maybe you needed that night alone with Maverick. Maybe it was just a test for your limits; see how far he or you would take it.

Your hands massaged the soap against your abdomen, giving a warm rush throughout your insides. Obviously, the thought of Maverick hadn’t left your mind and you desperately wanted — needed — to act on it, but you’d be damned if you let your intuitive thoughts get ahold of you. Turning the shower control shut, you wrapped a towel around your wet body, entering the bedroom once again. The tension had eased for sure, but there was still a rather irritating feeling around, which you decided to ignore as you began dressing. You roamed through the dressers and found a large black tee and pair of sweatpants that belonged to Goose (by great chance). You put on your sports bra and then the stolen clothes, flinching when the door opened out of the blue. Your hands intuitively covered your private parts, even though they were fully clothed.

“Hey, just wanted to let you know that Brad’s asleep,” Maverick informed you, jaw slightly dropping when his eyes rose to look at you. You’d never been as gorgeous to him as you were that specific moment; looking so casual in Goose’s clothes, with one sleeve of the shirt hanging a bit down your shoulder due to the size and revealing a strap of your black bra, hair damp and dripping.

He wanted to just grab the back of your head and kiss you as if his life depended on it. Little did he know that you’d been dreaming about that too.

“Thanks,” you muttered lowly even though your heart was pounding violently against your chest. After dismissing him, you supposed he’d go away and let you be, but you were proved wrong as he did the exact opposite, walking further into the room and gently kicking the door shut. You swallowed harshly, fighting back your raging blush.

“Hi,” he said again, only this time with more softness in his voice, which caused your heart to do a little flip-flop. Ignorance was your to-go with response, but knowing how stubborn Maverick became once he set his mind on something — or rather someone — he tried one more. “How was your shower?”

“‘T’was fine, Pete. What do you want?”

“You know what I want.”

His gaze burned into you, the hunger in his eyes making you barely lose your nerve. It was driving you out of control, palms sweating, blush eventually spreading across your skin as the tingling sensation that originated from your lower body but had managed to multiply its growth all the way up to your stomach caused you to cross your legs in hopes of stopping a certain wetness from pooling between them. You gulped down what felt a wall of bricks, fidgeting with your fingers all while refusing to hold his eye contact.

Maverick spoke without a warning, letting you know that he was also in need of a shower. You nodded shyly and got comfortable on the bed, switching on the small TV across from it that stood on the dresser. Nothing interesting was on — or maybe there was — but to you, the faint sound of droplets running down a certain body you’d been craving for the past couple of days just a door away from you was the most fascinating thing, a true attention span.

The noises from the TV had blurred out in the background somewhere along your fantasies as your brain partially collapsed into thoughts and feelings, letting your body take complete control. Your eyes rolled back, eyelids closing in pleasure while your thighs unintentionally squeezed tightly together in anticipation and arousal. You wondered if Maverick was thinking about you in the shower as well.

Suddenly, the doorknob of the bathroom twisted open and you prayed you didn’t look as flushed as you felt. For the first time, you got to witness Pete in an outfit other than his signature white t-shirt, bomber jacket and blue Levi’s. He’d probably grabbed Goose’s clothes just like you had earlier, throwing on a pair of gray sweatpants and a long sleeve black sweatshirt with sleeves that were too long for his arms. He managed to look exceptionally handsome and adorable at the same time, which honestly baffled you.

“Wanna sit?” you found yourself asking him. Maverick had never been the type of guy to refuse a request that tempting, so he slid right next to you on the bed, one leg on the mattress while the other was positioned on the carpet.

Even though your eyes were burning through the TV, you had no idea what you were supposed to be watching. Your organism was one hundred percent running on Maverick and how impossibly good he looked with those sweats. In attempts to get into a more comfortable position, the waistband had slipped off down the bone area above his hips, revealing a patch of skin.

His hair, just like yours, was wet and clinging on to his forehead. It looked even darker, which you thought was weirdly attractive, yearning to let your fingertips get a taste of how it would feel through and against them.

Bradley’s in the next fucking room and you’re thinking about sex with Pete Mitchell, pathetic perv, your inner voice screamed furiously inside your head. No, forget about Bradley! You have a whole boyfriend to yourself and you’re thinking about sex with Pete Mitchell, insatiable freak.

You shook yourself out of your nasty scenarios, laying there in complete silence with him. Your feet moved up and in a crouching motion. His eyes met yours and your breath hitched up unnecessarily — God, you were embarrassed of yourself. There were droplets of water running down across the length of his jawline, casting you almost jealous of how smoothly they crossed through his skin, wishing you could be just one of them.

“Roger,” he hummed your call sign, causing a dreamy look on your face, pupils dilating significantly as you got lost on his voice, needing desperately to get drunk on it as if you were a teenager experiencing the first drink at a party.

“I want to hate you,” you blurted out. Maverick furrowed his brows in confusion. “I’ve wanted to hate you since the day I met you.”

“But you don’t?” he questioned almost shyly.

“I don’t. I can’t.”

He couldn’t help the faint smile that painted across his lips, bringing a warm palm on your shoulder and grazing it all the way up until he brushed a strand of half-wet hair behind your ear. You leaned against his hand, hankering after the physical contact like a touch deprived person. You pulled away shortly after, though, realizing that both of you had been chasing each other’s lips in attempt to make the gap between you disappear.

“I know, we can’t,” he dismissed with hints of sadness in his tone. Little did he know you’d been equally disappointed. “I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

Before he left from the room, he stopped one more time to look at you, leaning down, allowing his hand to rest against the back of your head as he pressed his soft lips against your forehead and muttering ‘good night’ in the cell of your ear.

Your hand ran up your forehead and through hair in despair of what would happen if you listened to your heart and followed Maverick in the living room. It had already been a stressful evening, you decided while tucking yourself in, face buried in the pillow as you squeezed your eyes in order to make your vision pitch black instead of seeing fantasies of what-ifs and maybes.

chapter 7

tags:

@holishol

@iheqrtaustin

[henrysglock]

The First Shadow's Fucked-Up Time Frame

Pulling this out of my time-loop post for reference reasons.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

We all know the TFS timeline is messy as hell and doesn't actually align with anything that's possible in filmed canon...or within its own time span, even.

For example, the attack on Mr. Newby happens both some point after October 1st, 1959 and before November 20th, 1959...but the papers for the incident report it on March 20th, 1958:

The timeline we're given also largely fabricated, as I pointed out in relation to the newspapers with dates that don't actually exist.

However, much like NINA, the sequence itself being fake doesn't mean the events didn't happen. It's just not happening in the time frame we're told it's happening in:

It's a set of real events, just portrayed on a different time scale.

The paper about the attack on Mr. Newby, dated March 20th, 1958, is released exactly 610 days, or 20 months, prior to the Creel murders on November 20th, 1959. It's not necessarily the exact dates that are important here (again, these dates are relatively unreliable), but the gap between the dates.

When put in accordance with filmed dates(i.e. setting the release of this paper exactly 610 days prior to March 22nd of 1959), the paper for the attack on Mr. Newby would have been released on July 20th, 1957. This would be in line with Edward Creel's move to Hawkins in the spring of 1957.

This July date is especially funny to me considering we get "throwaway" lines like this...with shots in filmed canon from summer-time:

Top: Joyce and Jim beginning their investigation into the attic attack. Hopper Sr. is questioning why Joyce and Jim are investigating, rather than attending school. Bottom: Alice and Henry with the rabbit death scenes in filmed canon, the setting showing full foliage and both children in summer clothing. "Is it summer break?" I don't know. You tell me, Chief.

Per TFS, Henry went missing in a cave system near his home town of Rachel, Nevada (didn't exist until the 70s, but we're looking past that for now) at some point in the year prior to the attack on Mr. Newby. We've been told that Dimension X was involved in this event in Nevada, something happened there that left "Henry" altered physically. He was also flayed at some point around this time.

This all coincides with Henry's dramatic mood shift from a "normal and good" boy to one suffering from Mindflayer-induced psychosis. This change happened in tandem with the Nevada incident, dating back 10 months prior to the attack on Mr. Newby:

If we set Henry's initial disappearance in line with filmed canon like before, it becomes September of 1956.

New additions:

If we apply the 610 day rule to Henry's "first day of school", then Oct. 1st, 1959, becomes Jan. 29th, 1958, which is over a year before the Creel murders on March 22nd, 1959, but well after the attic attack on July 20th, 1957. So that's a no-go.

However, if we sequester that pattern to the newspapers and instead apply the "Henry moved to Hawkins 8 months after his disappearance" (See: Moving in Oct. 1 and being taken in by the lab Nov. 20th/Dec. 2nd making exactly 2 months, give-or-take), we get a move-in date somewhere in late May of 1957.

Picture me making THE single most deadpan face staring at "We'll retcon Will's birthday to May 22nd" AND all of the weirdness about the on-screen Creel family's move-in day looking like May-June.

[missmungoe]

Editing the update for Bind Me to the Tide (Shanks x Makino Soulmate/Shared Pain AU), which has somehow become two chapters. ETA this week, but in the meantime, have a snippet, because Luffy is giving me a lot of feelings in this fic:

It became a routine, as the days of their stay lengthened to weeks—he’d be up with the sunrise, the first one through her doors, and the last to retire, his heart as light as her laughter, which Shanks spent most of his days looking for ways to coax out. And aside from the initial excitement surrounding their arrival, the following days were mostly uneventful. Peaceful, and without any notable incidents involving windmills or sharp objects.

With one exception.

The sniffling was making it hard to hold the needle steady, and, “Sit still,” Shanks said gently, angling his chin a bit.

Bottom lip sucked between his teeth, Luffy held his breath.

His look softened, and, “I’m not going to scold you,” Shanks said, as he continued stitching the cut in his cheek. It was a good thing the knife had missed his eye. “I’ve done more reckless things with a knife when I was your age. But speaking from experience, you should treat yourself with more care, if not for your own sake, then for your soulmate’s.”

Luffy sniffled, but, “My soulmate?” he asked.

“Everyone’s got one, right?” Shanks asked, with a smile that recalled his self-assured declaration, weeks ago now. “So even if you’re the one who's hurt, someone else will have felt it, too. And the stitches.”

It was punctuated by the needle piercing his skin, but Luffy seemed to have found a distraction in the topic of soulmates.

Focused on stitching the cut, Shanks didn’t ask, but then it was a private matter, even without counting the fact that he was talking to a six-year-old, but then, “I feel them,” Luffy said, and with a grin, “They get hurt a lot.”

His own smile was startled, but then it couldn’t be serious injuries if he sounded so delighted about it. “Maybe they’re a little hooligan like you, getting into fights.”

Luffy seemed delighted by this prospect. “Yesterday, it hurt here,” he said, pointing at his front tooth, his voice muffled as he said, “Like shomething phfell out.”

“They might have lost a tooth," Shanks said. "It happens at your age.”

Horrified eyes stared up at him, as Luffy asked, distressed, “Do they come back?”

He chuckled, “Yes." And with a look, “But only once. When you’re fully grown and you take a few too many punches, you’ll end up with gaps in your teeth. This is why I don’t fight with my fists; it would be a crime to ruin these pearly whites. Although there are some pirates who exchange them with gold.”

Luffy’s eyes rounded, his horror exchanged with delight. “Gold?”

Realising that he might have made a mistake, “If anyone asks, I did not put this idea in your head,” Shanks said.

Grinning, Luffy didn't seem to find any cause for concern. At least he wasn’t thinking about the stitches.

He was quiet for a beat, as Shanks continued, before he touched his chest, over his heart. “Sometimes it hurts here.”

His smile tilting, “Yeah,” Shanks said, gently. “Mine does that sometimes, too.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Pain isn’t just from cuts and bruises.”

He absorbed this, but then, “I like it,” Luffy said, smiling. “Having a soulmate.”

“Yeah?” Shanks asked. He was focusing on the stitches, but then he was trying to make it so it wouldn’t scar too much.

“Mm,” Luffy said. “I don't feel alone when I feel them.”

It hit him so hard he had to pause what he was doing, but looking at Luffy only found him smiling.

He didn’t reach for the bond, or Makino where she was in the storeroom doing inventory. And he’d been lucky, growing up, never lacking in company, but like the little boy on the barstool beside his, he thought about the little girl who’d grown up here, and wondered if there’d been a time, before Teach, and before she’d been so afraid, where she’d thought of him that way, not as a burden but as a companion.

“Can you have more than one?” Luffy asked then, as he resumed stitching the cut.

“Soulmate?” Shanks asked, and when he nodded, “I haven’t heard of it happening. For most people, feeling one person’s pain is more than enough.”

Luffy grinned, undaunted by this. “I’d have more if I could!”

“Yeah?” he chucked. “How many?”

He thought about it, before he declared, “Ten!”

Shaking his head, although his grin couldn’t be helped. This kid...

“That’s a whole crew,” Shanks said.

Luffy’s eyes widened, before he grinned and said, fiercely, “Even if I can’t have ten, I’m still gonna try.”

“Try?”

Luffy nodded, and said, “To feel when they’re hurt.”

His hands stilled, but then he hadn’t been prepared for that, although Luffy didn’t seem aware of the profundity behind that simple statement, but then for him, it probably was that simple.

“That,” Shanks said, with a rough chuckle, and saw him wince as he pulled the needle through, “Sounds like something a captain would say.” And with a smile, “But you’ll have to toughen up,” he said. “Can’t cry at every little pinch if you’re going to share the pain of your whole crew.”

It was punctuated by him snipping the thread, and, “All done,” Shanks said, tilting his chin to inspect it. “It’ll scar, but it shouldn’t be too bad.” Smiling, he lifted his brows. "Your soulmates might even recognise you when they see it.”

He realised what he’d said a second too late, but Luffy only looked emboldened by this.

Those wide eyes lifted to his own scars then, as he asked him, “Where’s your soulmate, Shanks?”

As though the Fates had been listening, Makino returned from the storeroom, her smile softening as she came up to the counter where they were sitting, reaching for Luffy’s chin as she inspected the stitches. She was standing between their barstools; this close, Shanks could count the pale freckles on her shoulders where the sleeves of her blouse bared them. She wore a new bodice today, sunflower yellow with wildflowers embroidered along the laces, the dark red petals bringing out the brandy in her eyes.

Turning towards him dragged his eyes up from her waist, as Makino said, “You’ve done this before.”

He might have felt a little ridiculous for his own reaction if he hadn't been so arrested by the gentle admiration on her face, and grinning, he waved his fingers. “Steady hands. Well, unless I’m drinking, but in which case I really shouldn’t be holding a needle to anyone's face.”

He saw her eyes darting to them, before she quickly looked away, and clearing her throat, “Hungry?” she asked Luffy, running her fingers through his hair. “I could make your favourite. Nothing heals a hurt like a good meal.”

“You’ve been spending too much time around Lucky,” Shanks said, and saw her grin where it lifted her cheeks.

Bouncing off his barstool, his stitches already forgotten, “Food!” Luffy cheered.

“You can keep the captain company while I cook,” Makino said, a smile thrown his way. “If he doesn’t mind.”

“Always happy to have good company,” Shanks said, with a wink at Luffy, who’d climbed back onto the barstool. "And someone ought to keep this little troublemaker in check. Not me, but someone. I say we get into a bit more trouble, eh, Luffy?"

Eyes round, "What kind of trouble?" Luffy asked.

"Oh I'm sure we'll find something," Shanks said. "Always some trouble to be found, even in little ports like this."

Looking at Makino found her watching him, her eyes holding something that made him pause, although before he could inspect it, she'd blinked it away, and with a flustered smile, excused herself.

Shanks watched as she made her way to the kitchen, a last glance offered over her shoulder to him before she disappeared through the doors, leaving him by the bar with Luffy, and a feeling that had grown progressively harder to ignore, despite his continued attempts.

He wondered if it was his imagination, and that he was just seeing what he wanted in her reactions. And he didn’t consider himself a delusional man when it came to attraction—he was aware of what he looked like, and hadn’t exactly been lacking in attention where that was concerned. Even Makino had conceded, if only by prim omission, that she found him visually pleasing, which would have been all the encouragement he’d need, usually.

But attraction couldn’t always be helped, and it didn’t mean she’d welcome anything more. And given how comfortable she was around him now, he didn’t want to fuck it up by crossing a line there was no coming back from.

Even if the way she looked at him sometimes made him wonder if she would mind crossing it.

“Shanks?”

“Hm?”

“Why do babies hurt?”

He blinked, and turning his head found Luffy watching him expectantly. “What?”

“Yasopp was telling Ma-chan that it hurt when Usopp was born,” Luffy said, cocking his head. “Why? What happens?”

Shanks stared at him, his train of thought derailed so thoroughly, he had nothing to offer, and so only managed a very articulate, “Uuuuh.”

“Oh, and what’s a cervix?”

“Uuuuuuuuuh.”

“And what does ‘tearing’ mean?”

“Hey, do you want to play a round of bartop hockey?”

[yolowritter]

In Defense of Gabriel Agreste

Oh dear Kwami, I can't believe I'm actually doing this... I can't believe that it feels necessary. Before we begin, I want to make a huge clarification. I am NOT supporting any of Gabriel's actions AT ALL, especially anything done in Season 5. That's abuse, that's child neglect, that's grounds for calling CPS. I will never excuse that kind of thing, and frankly this isn't what I'm here to talk about. I simply want to state my opinion on how canon has absolutely ruined Gabriel as a character, and give my own perspective on our local supervillain, including an understanding of his reasons and how Gabriel devolves the way he does in the actual show. This is a mixture of headcannons I've had that are somewhat supported by canon, and I hope you all enjoy my little analysis piece.

First off, let's kick things into high gear by discussing Gabriel's themes. From the get-go of Bubbler, it's blindingly obvious that he serves as the "strict parent" antagonist to Adrien's quest for freedom and self-expression. As an archetype, this works quite well in a lot of stories and media, so I was fine with it when I watched the episode. Through the rest of Season 1, we quickly come to realize that Adrien's mother (and Gabriel's wife) is "missing", due to some reason or the other. At this point some may suspect his relation to Hawkmoth, but there's no legitimate evidence to go off of so we put a pin on that. During Simon Says, specifically Chat Noir and Gabriel's little interaction, we get to see that Adrien does hold some repressed anger against Gabriel because of how overprotective the man is, and then comes the fond remark of Emilie's flair for dramatics. It's a line so many of us have discussed or used in fanworks, but rarely do I see people talk about how Gabriel delivers it. The usually stoic personification of dissapointment seems to finally have some emotion in his voice, for the first really important moment of his character. Combine this with the earlier talk between him and Ladybug, where he praises Adrien and seems genuinely proud of his son for keeping up with all the activities/modeling/etc. Therefore, we get a good general idea of who Gabriel Agreste actually is. A grieving father who has lost his partner to "mysterious circumstances", and is trying to protect his son from any kind of harm. Sure, he's going about it the wrong way and is definately overdoing it, but the act itself doesn't come from a place of malice. Keep this in mind as we move forward.

In Season 2, we start off with the episode Collector. And learn that Gabriel is Hawkmoth. Because of course he is, Adrien is one of the titular characters in the show, naturally the writers want to pull a Luke Skywalker at some point. "I am your father" and all that, we've seen it a million times before. Still, this brings up the question of why? Sure, Gabriel is an asshole. That's very obvious by this point, even though we don't have enough information to truly cast judgement on his reasoning for such behavior. But there's a significant gap between "overprotective single parent who stifles their child" and "local butterfly man who has beef with teenage superheroes". Therefore, this reveal immediately has alarm bells ringing as to what Gabriel's motive is. In a later episode, we have the Gorizilla Incident. And this is where he finally becomes a much more complex, much better character! Because Hawkmoth has captured Ladybug. She's right there, helpless, and all he has to do is either show up and steal her Miraculous, or just wait until she loses her transformation and then take the earrings. His arch nemesis, the person who has been preventing him from accomplishing whatever his goals are...is at his mercy. But...there's a problem. His son is also on the field of battle, and just jumped off a building. Wonderful! Without the slightest bit of hesitation, Gabriel releases Ladybug, therefore saving Adrien's life at the cost of the Miraculous. And much later, during Queen Wasp, Hawkmoth genuinely ponders if he's done more harm than good by trying to defeat the Heroes of Paris. (Side Note: I don't actually remember if we'd seen Emilie in the pod by this point, but whatever.) He would have quit, hung up the suit, and lived out his days as Gabriel Agreste. Miserably maybe, but he would have stuck to that choice. No more Hawkmoth. Until...he gets the chance to Akumatize a Miraculous Holder. And if you want to rewatch this scene, notice the mania in Gabriel's eyes. This extreme emotional reaction is the complete opposite of what we've seen from the man so far (dramatic monologues aside), and the chance at victory rips Gabriel's sanity away from him. Cue Queen Wasp, and later Scarlet Moth.

But I want to stick to this moment for a second. Queen Wasp takes place directly after Style Queen, in which Adrien gets turned into a gold statue. And sure, the show can tell us all it wants about how "he's been turned to dust" or some bs, but we all know Adrien is dead right now. And Gabriel knows it too. This is literally the reason why he tries to convince himself that he shouldn't be Hawkmoth anymore. Because he finally understands what kind of harm he's been doing. By this point it's like the 3rd time that Adrien is in immediate proximity to an Akuma and promptly gets bodied by said Villain, specifically because of Hawkmoth. I do not care what Season 5 says, Gabriel Agreste loved his son with every last shred in that broken, shattered fragment of a heart that was left after Emilie's death, and he shows it very clearly on multiple occassions. He even tries to connect with Adrien again, and has a genuine moment when they watch Emilie's movie together. Gabriel, for all his supervillainy and prancing about in a butterfly costume, seems to be healing throughout Season 2. So why does it only get worse from here?

Well...this is where my headcanons come in to fill the void. Obviously I could go on a tangent about the writers here, but I don't care enough to waste my breath on that again. Swiftly moving past that, I honestly think Gabriel suffers from Tunnel Vision during this show. And yeah that's not a "condition", but think about this for a second. Nooroo warns that there are terrible consequences for misusing a Miraculous in Origins, and the show...never follows up on this? Well, that's weird. Unless the consequences are mental. A deterioration of the self, in a way. Consider: a good portion of the fandom already talks about Gabriel and Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Monarch as different people sometimes. What if that's literal? What if that's the consequence? Gabriel was depressed, desperate and heartbroken after Emilie's demise, but according to a cutscene from Miraculous Rise of the Sphynx (and I swear to God why didn't they put this in the actual show???) Gabriel and Nathalie actually spent around a year looking for the Ladybug and Cat Miraculous before deciding to use the Butterfly. It was Gabriel's last resort. And look at how Hawkmoth acts in Season 1. He's...well, he's acting. Playing the role of a villain to lure them out and defeat them, knowing full-well (at least after Stoneheart) that Ladybug can fix pretty much anything he destroys if she wins, and he can just do the same if she's defeated. Gabriel has a safety net, he's acting the part of an evil villain, complete with dramatic monologues and "curse you Perry the Platypus" moments after ever defeat. Then in Season 2, he knows the jig is up. The stakes are too high and this Hawkmoth bs is hurting the one piece of Emilie that he has left...so Gabriel decides to quit.

And this is where the corruption comes in. During "Feast" in Season 3, Hawkmoth re-states his goal of "taking all the Miraculous!" Uh...hold on just a second. Didn't Gabriel only need the Ladybug and Cat? Yes, exactly. That's why the events of the show even happen to begin with. So why has it now changed to all the Miraculous, if the rest are useless in terms of bringing Emilie back? Well, Gabriel's thirst for power is slowly corrupting his mind. Hawkmoth is officially in control by this point, and it gets much, much worse from here. With Mayura at his side, Hawkmoth has a real person to care about, and take care of. Nathalie supports him, keeps Gabriel afloat in this ocean of despair that they're both slowly drowning in.

But what happens when Mayura can't be there anymore? What happens when Gabriel (now as Shadowmoth) spends hours upon hours inside that dark lair, deliberating his victory? It becomes his sole focus. What tiny specks of humanity were still left inside of this hollow shell called Gabriel Agreste have been devoured by a beast that hungers for only one thing. Power. Emilie is no longer loved by him, barely even remembered to begin with. Now instead of genuine heartbreak over his wife's loss, Shadowmoth is using her as an excuse to keep going. He rationilizes it all to himself, saying "this is for my family" and "they will understand" to hide from the very obvious fact that neither Emilie or Adrien would ever stand for this. His ambitions have stripped Gabriel of all sense and sanity, leaving behind a madman simply wearing his skin. The last time we ever see even a flicker of clarity in his head is during Glaciator 2.0, when Adrien is about to be Akumatized. But this is also the biggest indication that it's almost too late for Gabriel, because has to think about it. Sure, he doesn't actually Akumatize Adrien, but even since Chat Blanc it's become perfectly clear that he can and will go through with that to get an advantage over Ladybug. Here, Shadowmoth considered Akumatizing him anyway, even with just the usual chances of winning.

And in Ephemeral (I'm pretty sure, could be just before or after), Nooroo's worst fears have finally come to pass. Gabriel affirms that he wants to destroy the entire world using the Wish. And then re-shape it into one where he's the top dog, by extension making the Agrestes like the Supreme. Gabriel has gone completely off the rails by this point. I'd even argue that the person he was only a few months ago (don't get me started on that timeline btw) is dead. Gone, burried six feet under along with his wife, because Gabriel Agreste would never do something like this. Monarch just makes everything even worse, especially with Evolution. Just like Nathalie said, he had the perfect chance to warn his past self about the Peacock being broken. Step in the portal, detransform, explain that he's Gabriel, then tell them "hey so the recipe to fix it is on this page of the Grimoire, you need to do this before Emilie makes Adrien" and that's it. But he just ignores it completely because of his obsession, hence proving the point I'm trying to make.

To circle back to the beginning of this post, I am perfectly fine with how Gabriel's character devolves and spirals into madness across the show. It's a cool plotline, could have been really interesting if the writers bothered to explore it but even with only what we have, I'd say it adds a ton of depth to his character! Or...would, if they bothered to explain this! Like seriously, you can pretty easily infer than something of the sort is happening, especially in later seasons. Just give Nathalie or Nooroo one or two scenes where they are worried about Gabriel going insane! Especially Nooroo, give the poor guy a few lines trying to warn Shadowmoth like "Master, please! You need to think about what you're doing! Can't you see this isn't you anymore?" or something of the sort. Sure, it doesn't have to be so on the nose, but you get my point! Instead they did nothing with this amazing idea that's already there because they wrote it by accident! And guess what? Gabriel goes from a sympathetic villain in Season 2 to an utter maniac who locks his "beloved" son in an insane asylum during Season 5!

Like are you kidding me??? What alternate universe did I get dropped into where this is the "logical" followup to Hawkmoth's storyline? One of the only things Gabriel even had going for him in terms of complexity was his genuine love towards Adrien! And like I said, I'd be fine if this how they wanted to make things and play the "tragic villain consumed by a lust for power" card! For Nooroo's sake, it's dangling right in front of them like a carrot on a stick! But instead of making the slightest bit of effort and explain that this is happening, or that it's an intentional plotpoint for Gabriel's character, their innaction just reduces him to a one-dimensional "evil because he's the villain" cardboard cutout! Believe me, I love unapologetically evil characters, who do the worst things for funsies! But Gabriel Agreste can never be that type of bad guy because you set up an entire storyline about his poor wife who died because adoption is apparently illegal in this universe! Don't get me started on Emilie Agreste, she's getting a rant of her own soon enough! But come on, would it kill you to at least try and give your villains some depth???

Thomas, do you want me to have a stroke? An aneurysm? To keel over dead like Gabriel's character development? Should I maybe put a fridge in my basement for good measure? And do not talk to me about the "tell Adrien how good a father I was" bs the finale had in it! Just- just don't touch that with a ten foot pole! But...I will admit, there is a very interesting direction they can take Gabriel's character now that he's dead. Because sure, he's now a one-dimensional asshole that screamed in his basement a lot before beating up a cat(bug)girl and dropping dead, but hey! Gabriel Agreste can haunt the narrative now! Have Lila use reunion to talk to him! Have Marinette be tormented by the stupid promise she made! Have Adrien be conflicted over how Gabriel treated him! Give us an existential crisis because "the hero who defeted Monarch" doesn't match up with the abusive asshole Adrien has known for the past year! Gabriel Agreste's character has been utterly trainwrecked by the writers' refusal to explain anything about him beyond a superficial "boo hoo my wife keeled over". Yeah buddy, so what? You can at least be interesting about it!

Anyway, I'm going to go cool off and make another draft for how to fix this idiot's character development. Or you know, give him some in the first place because he's lost it all. I'll see you all soon with an "In offense to Emilie Agreste" post, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!