#I just want to point out that this woman has been ON ITTTTT

[hestiasroom]

Top Academic Behind Fetish Site Hosting Child Sexual Abuse Fantasy, Push To Revise WPATH Guidelines

[mrhowells]

Smallville 4x03

such an iconic episode, I'm so ready😩 (edit: ignore any typos you might find, I was going through it💀)

NOOOOOOOO THIS IS SO FKN FUNNY PLS LOOK AT THIS MAN'S HAIR I CAN'T BREATHE

Honestly I'm so thankful that not a single one of my schools was like this, it's like everyone just reached an unspoken agreement that bullying was uncool and we'd mind our own business.

needles😬

"Have I told you how much I'm gonna miss you?"

no you haven't but you definitely should, go on😌

*in unison* around where????

HELL YEAH FORCED PROXIMITY FTW

"Come on, do you know how many people would kill to relive their senior year of high school?"

No way in hell, and I had a relatively peaceful experience💀😭

"The last thing I want to be is a reporter."

She would absolutely be perfect but let's get one thing straight: If there's a person on this show who knows when to mind their own fucking business, it's LOIS🤷🏻‍♀️

I mean both Chloe and Lois make valid points, she's 17 and while I totally understand why Abby did it, it really is a bit concerning. Especially considering her mother has been pushing her to do it for the last 3 years😬

I got a comment from a helpful user under my post for last episode (ty🥰), apparently Jason is roughly the same age as Lex?? And he started dating Lana when she was 17?? AND HE'S THE FKN ASSISTANT COACH AT SCHOOL?

Clark wants to try out for the team again🥺

Jonathan let Martha have a job off the farm dude come on, be supportive. YES THANK YOU

omg did he fake his parent's signature on the permission slip???

"...they want people to look at them differently."

he's making points🤷🏻‍♀️

UGH I'm so weak for happy, excited Clark just look at himmm😭🥹

"Maybe if I'd been more patient I would've seen who you really are." EEEEEEEW throw the whole man away🤢

honestly fuck everyone who destroyed her self-esteem to the point where she's flattered bc a crusty man like that shows interest

asjaksjaksj

he's not even denying it-

PLSSSS their faces, especially Lois😭

I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

and look at Lois "not interested in journalism" Lane right on the story😌😌😌

I'm connecting some dots here and I don't like ittttt😬😬

"I still can't believe that you have a job at my school."

I feel like Lana has had more personality in these last few episodes than she had in the last 3 seasons combined, so that's great to see.

Lex knowssss👀

OMFG LOIS I LOVE YOU

I'mghfdjfghdj LOIS ARE U FREE ON MONDAY-

look at herrrrr😭 LISTEN IF I HAD CLARK'S POWERS-

I mean I agree that beauty is on the inside but that's very easy to say when you look like a literal angel💀 OOp evil surgery lady just said the same thing I did idk how to feel about that💀💀

I love that they're already establishing little things about her, she's messy, she can't spell etc. (though Chloe sounded a bit passive aggressive in both instances, maybe I'm just reading it wrong tho😬)

"It looks like Lois is one step ahead of us." THAT MAKES ME SO PROUD🥺🥺

Clark saving Lois and then Lois saving Clark is something so personal to me actually-

UGH LOOK AT THEMMMMMM😭

*kicks woman* "Bitch."

her lil smile seeing her article in the torch😭

yesss she has fans as she fucking should😌

(Can I just quickly say that as much as I love Homecoming, they could've had at least ONE person at the reunion remember Lois from high school, watching that shit left permanent scars on my soul, it was so cruel😭 Like come on, if reading her article was a "life changing experience" for some students, it would make total sense for SOMEONE to remember her. (yes I'm super salty and what about it))

FUUUUUUUCK I JUST REALIZED I HIT THE 30 IMAGE LIMIT AND I'M NOT EVEN AT THEE DUNK TANK SCENE😭 (off to delete some of them I guess😭)

omg here it comes

"Come on Lois, didn't those guys at the base teach you anything?" "Wouldn't you like to know."

akasjkasdjak YOU KNOW HE WOULD

they wanna bone so bad it makes them look like absolute fucking clowns there I said it

DOESN'TMATTERCAUSEYOU'REGOINGDOWNTHAT'LLBETHEDAYSKADWNKW can you tell I'm losing my last shred of dignity here

ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY CLEARED MY SKIN IMPROVED MY GRADES WALKED MY DOGS ETC THIS SCENE CHANGED MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND-

and Tumblr won't even let me upload my 5732893 screenshots where's the justice😭

[sneakydraws]

Hair for oc thing?

hair: How does your OC wear their hair? Does it have some kind of meaning?

you didn't specify a character so i'll take this as an opportunity to talk about my peasants ocs because they're the most on my mind rn hehe!!

so among polish peasant women in the past, most common were braids (one or multiple) for unmarried girls, then part of the wedding ceremony was either cutting the bride's hair or putting it up in a new style - either way, the point was that she was no longer supposed to be "showing it off", and from now on she would wear some sort of head covering when in public, most commonly a kerchief. i read in the kraków ethnographical museum that this head covering would have also been worn by "old maids". i believe this cutting of the hair was not a thing for jewish brides? but i haven't looked into it yet. i'm also not sure what the customs were for tatar women, although i have read that, despite this being a muslim community, rules concerning the covering of hair were not as strict as in arab countries?

so anyway, the main character of this story is a young unmarried woman at first and wears her hair in a single braid. it's very straight and smooth, which she herself considers plain and unattractive, but she's definitely the kind of girl who makes sure to brush it a hundred times to ensure it grows well. i've thought about how, because she's actively looking to marry, she would have tried to look her best at all times, even with her limited resources, so i've started giving her a simple but eye-catching ribbon to tie her hair with. after her wedding, she wears the typical kerchief, though i haven't decided yet whether her oczepiny would have involved cutting the hair considerably or just trimming/restyling it. i've also been trying to pin down where the story is set, and i'm not decided yet but this one region's folk dress has a really unique and complicated head dress!

her husband has thick, wavy, slightly unruly black hair because he's a reskin of an existing oc 💀 i've been going through the process of hair regrowing after a buzzcut so i gave him the same kind of length haha, he's a bit lazy and uncaring wrt his appearance so it checks out that he wouldn't cut it frequently. i also figured he should have facial hair but i need to a. research it more and b. get better at drawing it...

the other prominent female character right now is the husband's sister. her hair texture, like her brother's, is more unruly and on the curly side, very thick and healthy (in designing characters who are supposed to be attractive i may slip in my biases haha... i think curly hair is really pretty). i've just thought recently that this could be a source of shame or discomfort for her, because a lot of her character is centred around the pursuit of christian notions of self-restraint and orderliness, so she would rather have the kind of straight, neatly arranged hair that the main character has! alas, just like how her very earthly urges slip out despite her best attempts to be the perfect christian saint, her unruly hair slips out from the kerchief that she decides to wear despite being unmarried. she's not at the age of unmarriageability yet, but she's almost resigned to it, and maybe even a little proud of it in a "oh i already belong to god" sort of way. she has slight marya b vibes haha

there's another female character in the works but she's still wip so the farmhand is my last major character for now! i'm suffering here because i reallllly want to keep this multi-braid hairstyle i gave him on a whim. i was definitely inspired by these designs from a bride's tale

but it's looking less and less likely to be historically accurate for a tatar man in 19th century poland -__-" i'm still grasping at straws looking at various old turkic men's hairstyles and mongolian hairstyles and trying to trace some sort of connection because i really like ittttt but i have a feeling it'll have to be a battle between my historical integrity and my character design sensibilities

[lilxberry]

That’s My Wife - Scott Lang

Requested by: @iwazoomingouttahere

Can I have a kind of similar imagine to the one you just wrote?? It’s Scott x strongwife reader!

Hydra makes a replica of caps shield and the avengers find it and nick says it has to be destroyed so they all take turns and reader gets woken up from the noise and gets grumpy so she grabs the shield and destroys it with her bare hands then goes back to bed and scots like “I MARRRIED THAT WOMAN SUCK ITTTTT”

This is basically a sequel but I feel both this and my previous fic worked well together. Also, I believe you asked about being added to the Marvel taglist so, I’ll add you, just tell me if I’m wrong lmao

I also wanted to write this asap as I felt like I had a flow I didn’t want to disrupt with other fics between because I be wack like that oop

Warnings: Lil bit o’ language. Cute ass Scott (My God I love Paul Rudd!). Crank ass reader lmao. That’s pretty much it, I believe.

Words: 1,623

Pairings: Scott Lang x Reader (female reader) (wife reader) (super strong reader?)

(A/N: This is basically a sequel to That’s My Girl even though it came from a different requester and since I felt like it. Try fight me about it, I dare y’all. But yeah, imagine that some time had passed and that you two got married.)

_______________

Frankly, you disliked when any form of resting was interrupted. So, the noise coming from the lab that’s usually preoccupied by Stark and Banner was certainly pissing you off.

Only 20 minutes prior did you climb into bed with the intentions of taking a well-deserved, well needed nap. Of course, it was never going to work in your favour. You tossed and turned, held the pillow over your head in an attempt to muffle the noise. It was fruitless.

You continued this repetitive rhythm as the racket continued until you could no longer take it.

Said racket was all due to the last mission the Avengers had been sent on. A HYDRA, unsurprisingly.

_______________

“How the shit do we destroy this thing?” Clint asked when he and the others walked into the lab, earning a slap up the back of his head from Natasha and a muttered “Language” from the cap.

“What?! It’s a fair question!” Clint whined, rubbing at the back of his head. “If it is practically a replica of Mr. Cools’ shield, it’s gonna be pretty hard to destroy, I reckon.”

“Barton does have a point,” Sam agreed with the archer as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Tony, being the over-confident man he is, took the shield from Steve and marched over towards one of the cleared tables in the lab, placing the shield on top. Searching through the mess of the lab, he found whatever tool he believed would be of help, bringing them over to place beside the shield.

“Something’ll get it to break. We just gotta figure out what.”

And so, the onslaught of assaults at the false shield of patrioty began. Tool after tool, machine after machine, super soldier after super soldier.

Scott watched from the side-line, wincing each time something ricocheted off of the shield without leaving a scratch and making some of the loudest noises he’s heard in his lifetime.

‘Even Cassie hopped up on sugar isn’t this loud,’ he thinks to himself.

But he wasn’t concerned about the shield and its integrity, he was concerned about what’ll happen when the noise steals your chance away at a nap.

Your husband knew how tired you had been recently, in turn so did the Avengers, so no one protested you heading on up and leaving them to it. Although, it seems everyone par himself thought of the terrible noise the task would make.

By now, majority of the Avengers within the lab are drenched in sweat and panting, feeling absolutely frazzled.

Bucky turned towards the man who can fluctuate his size with a suit and scowled. “Why aren’t you doing anything?” he panted out, sweat rolling down his face.

The others look towards Scott with similar expressions, not understanding why he chose to sit out.

Scott deadpanned as he spoke. “You just had two super soldiers trying to pound that thing into oblivion at the same time and you expect me to be able to do something about it?”

Realisation seemed to dawn on everyone at that moment, all releasing a prolonged “Ahhhh.”

A silence engulfed the room, moments passed by where the only sounds were breaths being regulated back to natural states.

Then, Thor boomed, a bright, wide smile crosses his face. He seems to look extremely proud of himself. He gasped his hammer tightly, stepping towards the table with the shield on top in long strides.

“No shield can withstand the might of a God!”

He raised his arm, Mjölnir in hand. The others eyes widened in realisation, all beginning to protest in a panic, but it was all in vain.

With a hearty swing, he brought his hammer down on to the shield.

A thundering boom sounded through the entire compound, and the second Mjölnir made contact with the shield, everyone in the lab was sent back flying, near enough everything in the room being damaged from the large shockwave created; each and every window within the compound now shattered.

Fury was going to be pissed.

_______________

You relished when the awfully loud noises coming from the lab seemed to cease.

A relaxed smile made its way on to your face and you closed your eyes once more, happy to be happing some peace and quiet finally. Moments passed where there was not a singular decibel of sound heard, moments you were happy to get.

Then, just like that, they were gone once more.

The loud boom, violent vibration throughout the compound and the windows within your bedroom which you share with Scott busting out completely caused you to jolt and within it, spike your frustration to an all-time high.

“WHAT THE SHIT?!”

Shouting in frustration and exhaustion, you threw the covers from atop your body and swung your legs over the edge, quickly standing and storming out towards the lab. Being in such a rage, you failed to realise you tore the door right off of its hinges as you swung it open.

“Whatever Stark is building in that damn lab better be a panic room ‘cause I’m gonna kill him.”

_______________

The Avengers within the relatively destroyed room groaned and sat up, all their heads pounding from the harsh knockback and the deafening sound.

“Nice going, Point Break.”

“I did not think that would be the result of my quick thinking, I must admit.”

Everyone grumbled and slowly all began to rise to stand, heads still throbbing but overall bearable. Their eyes scanned the room , seeing the utter destruction Thors’ action had caused within the lab until finally, their eyes landed on the shield, still in one piece, just as shiny as ever.

They all groaned in frustration, even Natasha looked almost like a pouting child.

But as their eyes were all focused on the unscathed shield from the HYDRA base, they failed to notice your incoming form bursting at the seems with an anger no one would be able to subdue.

You slammed through the whatever remained of the doors before your voice roared out to the crowd.

“STARK!”

The billionaire let out a short, high-pitched shrill of a scream as he and the others jumped and turned to face you. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were just as frightened as the engineer, Sam, Bucky, and Clint would have found Starks’ reaction absolutely hilarious and burst out laughing.

“IT WASN’T ME!” Tony, in a panic, pointed over at Thor in an attempt to escape your wrath. “BLAME BLODIE!”

Your fiery gaze turned towards the Asgardian as he gulped audibly and smiled sheepishly, chuckling in an attempt to cover up that he was in fact, quite scared of you in that moment.

Just as you opened your mouth to verbally assault the God, your sweet husband Scott stepped in front of you, hands raised slightly in a calming gesture. “I’m sorry honey, we ruined nap, I understand. But it was with good reason!”

You raised your eyebrow up at your husband expectantly, your anger only subsiding in the slightest at the sight of Scott. He continued without hesitation.

“Fury wants that shield destroyed,” he pointed towards the shield before proceeding. “And we’re really struggling.”

Your anger had risen once more, now joined with confusion. “And why, do pray tell, does Fury want it destroyed?”

“It was HYDRA made, a replica of my own,” Steve spoke this time. “If they’re producing them, that means they’re close to being on equal ground with us. We no longer have the advantage over HYDRA if they have their hands on these shields.”

“So why not destroy them like Fury’s told you to?”

“BECAUSE WE CAN’T!” It was now Tonys’ turn to yell in frustration. He threw his arms up in exasperation which only annoyed your further.

“WHY NOT?!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT?! BE GUEST!” With that, Stark stepped aside, freeing up a path towards the shield for you.

With a hardened glare, you stomped past Tony straight towards the shield before picking it up within both hands and turning to face the group. With the cold, agitated look still engraved on your face, you raised your knee as you lower the shield quickly, slamming it down on to your knee, snapping it in half as if it were a flimsy, plastic ruler one uses for school.

Their jaws had dropped, and their eyes widened as Scott grinned like an excitable child, a strong feeling of pride washing over him.

You threw the two halves of the shield to the ground by Tonys’ feet, narrowly missing him. “If I hear ONE MORE NOISE from this lab, you’ll end up looking like that shield.”

You grazed past the petrified billionaire and weaved your way through the group. Just before you exited the lab, you called over your shoulder loudly. “And you best send someone to fix my damn window. AFTER I’VE FINISHED WITH MY DAMN NAP!”

Everyone seemed too terrified to move as you retreated back towards your room, all except Scott, who could no longer contain his excitement and adoration.

“HELL YEAH! THAT’S MY WIFE! I MARRIED THAT WOMAN!”

He began to chase after you towards your shared bedroom, calling for Clint to ask where on Earth he was doing. “I’M GONNA GO NAP WITH MY WIFE! Oh man, I can’t wait to tell Cass. THAT WAS AWESOME! HONEY, CAN WE HAVE SEX LATER?! THAT WAS SO HOT!”

As Scott finally disappear out of sight and out of hearing range, the others began to finally calm and relax, well, all except Tony and surprisingly, Thor.

“That woman terrifies me. She’s definitely on par with Pepper,” Tony quietly put out as Thor looked like a scolded child slightly, moody that some Midgardian had bested him in strength.

“This really isn’t fair.”

_______________

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I mean, I enjoyed writing this

Like, reader’s a big mood

But, yeah, that’s all I got

If you want to be added to a taglist lemme know

Anywho, I hope you enjoy

As always, constructive criticism and requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated :D

_______________

Marvel taglist:

@thanossexual @iwazoomingouttahere

@bnhaxreaderquotes​ I thought I’d tag you since this had become a sequel to your Scott Lang request :)

[fullbusterfantasmic]

Love Potion ♋️

Prologue

🛑 Rated M 🔞

Gray Fullbuster x Reader

”Amorteia, also known as Love Potion 69, highly illegal, but incredibly effective! A single dose will compel an individual to not only reveal a hidden infatuation, but also renders them incapable of not acting out all those desires they’ve kept locked away within the heart”.

Summary: Juvia’s desperation, in combination with a chance encounter, “blesses” her with a little vile that’s supposed to make all of her wildest dreams come true....But what on earth does that possibly have to do with you? 🤔😏

~ Most people would invision a “Rain Woman” as a dreary, slow, or depressing female. This description could not be more incorrect when it came to the “Rain Woman” of Fairy Tail; Juvia Lockser. She’s currently speed walking with a skip in her step, the birds are singing, and the sun is shining down on her smiling face. “Juvia has finally found the solution to her problem!” the blue haired woman squeals with excitement as she recounts events from the previous hour. ✨ Flash Back✨ It’s with a sigh of relief that Juvia begins her trek home from the job she begrudgingly took was finally finished. She only agreed to it as a favor to Gajeel, who ended up FLAKING on her; Thus adding two extra days to the job she didn’t want to do in the first place. “Juvia has been away from her beloved for far too long” she laments with a far away look in her eyes, “When will Gray-Sama come to his senses and realize that Team Natsu will never compare to the duo that is Ice and Water!”. Fortunately she internalized the rest of her fantasy, sparing passerby from hearing her delusions. The Rain woman continues forward, losing herself within her imagination as she does so. Thirty minutes outside Magnolia she stumbles upon a rag tag camp site with a beat up old caravan parked in the center. “Gray-Sama tonight is the night that Juvia will finally make you come to your senses!” the bluenette declares as she dramatically points a finger towards the sky. A bemused chuckle draws her attention to her immediate right; Where she finds a scantly clad woman puffing on a pipe surveying the new comer with interest. “Oh..haha.. Juvia is sorry for her intrusion and sudden outburst, she didn’t mean to disturb you” muttering an apology, Juvia bows her head in slight embarrassment. Releasing a jet of smoke the mystery woman gives her a wide grin, “No apology necessary, On the contrary you have piqued my interest mistress Juvia...Just who is this “Gray-Sama” and what exactly do you intend to make him realize hmmm?”. Any excuse to gush about Gray, Juvia is willing to take and before she knows it, she’s seated inside the caravan explaining her unrequited love to this mysterious woman. As her story draws to a close, the mystery woman gives her a comforting pat on the shoulder. “It seems you’re having boy problems, I feel bad for you hun, but luckily for you...you’ve come to the right one” tossing her curtain of red hair over her shoulder the woman gets up from the table. “I am an enchantress that specializes in magics having to do with seduction and all things sensual, I can help you ensnare this man by captivating his mind and all of his senses, making it only your touch he craves” the self-proclaimed enchantress explains. Immediately beginning to search through her many jam packed shelves and cabinets. “Gray-Sama will crave Juvia’s touch?” the love struck female whispers as steam begins emmiting from her body as her mind begins to wander. “Found ittttt” sings the red head as she twirls back towards Juvia, “This right here is all you need”. Holding up a small heart shaped vial she explains; “Amorteia, also known as Love Potion 69 is incredibly potent and always successful, but also highly illegal”. Juvia eyes the vial curiously, struggling with her morality “What do you want for it?”. The woman smirks at her sitting back in her chair, “Whatever you think is fair”. The rain woman sets the entire reward she just received on the rickety old table. A sly grin replaces the smirk on the face of the enchantress, “Deal, but I also expect an invite to your wedding, now all you have to do is....”. ✨Flash Back & Prologue END✨

❤️ A/N: Chapter One will immediately follow this post! I’m praying the formatting doesn’t come out looking like complete shit 🙏🏽 I’m pretty sure I’ve done everything I could possibly do. I am happy I’ve finally figured out the “Read More” option on mobile though.

[the-homicidediaries]

Issei Sagawa

“Sometimes I wonder why I did such a horrible thing. Maybe it’s because I come from another planet, or another dimension and accidentally fell to Earth like a meteorite, disguised as a baby crying on the street. My mother walked by and took pity on me. I must have come from a place of cannibals, and I’m the only one of my kind who exists on this planet.”

Good afternoon, everyone who takes the time to read this!

Today, I have the very displeasure of telling you about one of the most.. bizarre human beings I have ever read about.

I have been interested in true crime ever since I could remember. My father is really interested in it as well, so growing up there were always books laying around about the worst of the worst kind of people. Even to this day, my dad and I share stories we heard or a new podcast we listened to or swap books; it’s real fun.  And when you are heavily interested in true crime, you hear and see so many similar stories. This person had an abusive childhood and became a serial killer, this person was not longer interested in being a family man so he killed his whole family and moved away to start a new life, this person was strung out on drugs, this person caught her husband cheating on her and stabbed him as a crime of passion, etc. And while I am not downplaying or excusing these murders AT ALL, because no one should be murdered, I do find myself skipping stories like that. They don’t check my boxes.

Cannibals check my box.  And I have, admittedly, unconsciously, been surrounding myself with cannibalistic aspects. I just finished (another) three part podcast about Jeffrey Dahmer, I’m reading My Friend Dahmer, and watching Attack on Titan like my life depends on it. (Attack on Titan is a Japanese manga series turned into a long running anime about three conjoined towns who are constantly being attacked and eaten by the HUGE human-like zombie creatures, but that is for another day.)

Have I rambled enough? Yes. Yes, I think so. Let’s get into ittttt.

Issei Sagawa, known as Pang or The Kobe Cannibal, was born on April 26th, 1949 in Kobe, Japan to a very wealthy family. Issei has said himself that his childhood was the happiest time of his life and he was a carefree child. He said his parents love him deeply. One thing to note about Issei is that he was born prematurely (and he looks.. off) and doctors did not think he would survive. Issei said because of this, he has always seen himself as an undesirable person. So, instead of friends, Issei had books! Because his family was so wealthy, Issei was afforded an incredible education and was able to travel all over the world and learn about music, art, literature, etc.  He was very interested in art. This will come back around later.

So how does a rich, seemingly normal, intelligent child become a cannibal?  Issei contributes a few things to this: *Issei said his first cannibalistic urge happened when he was in first grade and saw a fellow classmate’s thighs. *Issei said sex was a taboo subject around his household. He said when he had reached a certain age, he began having erections, like all boys do, but he thought he was sick and was too embarrassed to tell anyone. He didn’t know how to relieve himself at this time.. soooo. He, uh, got help from his dog.  Yeah. Yeeeah. (I watched an interview he did with Vice about ten years ago, which I will link below, and watching him describe this so nonchalantly made me the most uncomfortable. Actually, he is nonchalant the entire interview and it’s so disturbing and uncomfy. At one point he says, “I think my sexual desires began to distort around that time.”  Yeah, I would say so, buddy.) *Issei said he would have a reoccurring dream where he and his brother were being boiled in a large pot to be eaten. Issei said he flipped the script and began to fantasize about what it would be like to eat someone. As with most premeditated killers, his fantasies escalated from curiosity to behavior. *Issei was obsessed with western women. He said they are tall and beautiful and he has described himself as a “weak, ugly, and small man”. In an interview after what he keeps calling an “incident”, Issei claimed one of the reasons he consumed human flesh was to “absorb her energy”. 

Issei said he did practice a good amount of restraint for his cannibalistic urges until his college years. While attending Wako University in Tokyo, Issei said he saw a beautiful, blonde, German woman walking by and he was “dazzled by her white thighs”.  One day, he broke into this woman’s apartment on the ground floor. He said his plan was to hit her in the head with an umbrella so he could get a knife from her kitchen and cut into her buttocks and eat it. He was extremely hesitant and his knees accidentally brushed against her stomach, waking her up. She screamed and Issei fled. Police charged him with attempted rape.  Issei said he did explain to psychiatrists about his sexual urges but they didn’t consider it cannibalism and let him go. 

After this, Akira (his father) sent Issei to study comparative literature at Sorbonne University in France in 1981. In the interview, as Issei is recalling this, he said his mother had the an extremely sad look on her face the day he was leaving, “like she knew something horrible was going to happen”. (I could think of a reason why.)

Issei had not forgotten about how close he had gotten to fulfilling his fantasy of eating a European woman back in Tokyo. He was convinced if he was more prepared he could follow through with it flawlessly. He said when he moved to France, he would bring home a sex worker almost every night, but everytime he tried to shoot her, his fingers would freeze. While studying at Sorbonne University, Issei set his eyes on 25-year old Dutch student, Renée Hartevelt. Issei said Renée was so beautiful and he had never seen anyone like her before. (She really was stunning and looked like such a sweet person.) He also said he didn’t want to get caught staring at her, so he began making sketches of her.  From what I read, and I do not know how accurate this is, the two started as friends and eventually Issei began to pursue Renée romantically. He would take her on dates to art museums and dinner. When he confessed his feelings for her, she insisted they just remain friends because she was not sexually attracted to him.  So Issei lied to Renée and told her his professor wanted him to record some German poetry. Renée didn’t think anything about helping out a fellow classmate, so she was happy to come over and help.  Issei said he picked out the poem she read, and as she was reading the poem out loud at his desk, he pulled a rifle out of a closet and shot her in the neck. He said she kept reciting the poem after he shot her, then she just.. stopped. Issei said he fainted after he shot her and when he came to he almost called an ambulance for her, but he knew he would regret it if he lost this opportunity to act out his fantasies.

I am going to quote Issei verbatim from his interview with Vice.

TRIGGER WARNING

“I lied to her that my professor wanted some German poetry recorded. That was the pretext. She didn’t doubt a thing. I chose the poetry. I reached for the gun while she was reading. I was talking to her with a smile on my face. I was really scared. Yet I did pull the trigger. She... kept on talking... until suddenly she fell silent. First she collapsed onto the desk, then fell to the ground with the chair. I laid a towel under her head then undressed her. I had everything planned out in my head from which part i would start feasting on and such. Starting with her ass. I thought it looked the most delicious. It had to be the right cheek, not the left. The left cheek is closer to the heart and I’m scared of blood. I abruptly bit into it, but it was too hard to bite into. It hurt my jaw. I tried cutting in with a fruit knife but it didn’t go through. I gave up and went to the market. I bought a curved meat knife. Finally it went through the flesh. I thought I’d see red meat right away, but there was a yellow corn-like substance, which I later found out was fat. I had to cut deeply to reach the red meat. I don’t remember if I sliced it off, or tore it off with my fingers. I put most of my favorite parts, like the thighs, in the fridge.”

My face right now.

He’s leaving out a lot of details on this.. right after he shot Renée, he had sex with her corpse. And, like I said before, he is so nonchalant about all of this. He ate a LOT of her. I saw a picture of eleven paper plates loaded with human flesh, muscles, and fat. Both of her breasts, her nose, her tongue, her bottom lip, and most of her lower half (her hips, middle of her stomach, and thighs) was missing. He did say he tried to eat her breast, but it was mostly fat and he didn’t enjoy it. Her buttocks, however, “(It) melted in my mouth like raw tuna in a sushi restaurant.” He continued to try different parts of Renée’s body. He would fry pieces of her and eat other parts with mustard. He even decapitated her. He took pictures of Renée’s mutilated body and would have sex with it while listening to the recording of her reading the German poem.

For four days.

He mentioned how June is the hottest month in Paris and he was worried the body would start to rot. So he took Renée’s body to the bathroom and cut her up so he could get rid of it. (He also mentioned after finishing his graduate program, he wanted to go to Greece. He said he took a big luxurious boat and actually shared a table with a butcher and his wife during dinner. He said the butcher was a fat, jolly man and told him how to butcher meat. Issei wrote a letter to the butcher after “the incident” thanking him. He said the butcher never wrote back.)

One he had cut the body up into pieces, he placed the pieces into two suitcases and, made plans to dump the body in a lake in Bois de Boulogne, called in a cab.  “It wasn’t easy getting the body into [the suitcases]. The torso is extremely heavy. It’s really hard to cut to begin with. It’s nothing like a horror movie.” When the cab driver picked up Issei’s suitcases to put them in the cab, he asked Issei if he had a dead body in them. (That tidbit made me really sad.)

Once Issei reached the lake, he pushed the suitcases down the slope. He vastly underestimated how light it still was outside at 8 pm. He said several people were sunbathing still. The sun was setting across the lake, and Issei said for the first time, he saw color. He was fascinated watching a young boy and his grandfather at the top of a hill and while he was distracted, another man came up, opened one of the suitcases, and saw a bloody bedsheet with legs wrapped in it. A woman screamed and someone else yelled, “Murderer!”  Issei said he just walked away.

Issei was, of course, arrested. He was interrogated by three psychiatrists who deemed him mentally insane. Issei was sent to a criminal psych ward, but before he could even begin treatment, he was deported back to Japan because the French people were very uncomfortable with him being there at their expense.  Once Issei arrived back in Japan, he mentioned the hospital he was staying at didn’t conclude that he was mentally ill, just that he had a personality disorder. Issei was forced to leave the hospital without undergoing any treatment. He did not serve any time in prison for ungodly crimes he had committed.  Actually, in a weird turn of events, he became a local celebrity. He became an author, had several interviews, has illustrated mangas (that’s why I mentioned he loves art), made porn, and was even a food critic. He even travelled to Canada, Mexico, and Iceland with two friends of him. I don’t have time to cover all of that because that in itself could be a whole other essay, but like I said, I will link the YouTube video I watched below.

And that is the gruesome, awful, gut wrenching story of Issei Sagawa.

Below are pictures of Issei Sagawa and his victim, Renée Hartevelt. I am also linking the Vice interview on YouTube as well as the crime scene photos. Please view at your own risk.

Thank you for reading. <3

Crime scene photos: https://murderpedia.org/male.S/s/sagawa-issei-photos-2.htm Vice Interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BosZxa1bYcE&t=336s

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching Good Omens (ALL OF IT)

my favourite novel is now my favourite mini-series and IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

under the cut: a very long, spoilery six-episode reaction to MY NEW FAVOURITE THING EVER

--

may 31st 07:36pm nz

i posted my episode 1 reaction a couple hours ago but that got ZERO NOTES so i assume people are either avoiding spoilers or aren’t interested, which is fine, but i’m just gonna put all my reactions in one big post so anyone who IS interested doesn’t have to read 6 separate posts c:

edit june 1st 04:08am: btw i watched using a free trial on amazon prime, which i’m pretty sure is worldwide. soooo if yOU WANT TO WATCH THIS, YOU CAN, FOR FREE

--

EPISODE 1: In the Beginning

--

04:03pm

idk how much i’m gonna type, whether i’ll post a reaction to the entire thing in one post....... or how much i’ll end up watching right now

kinda want to spread it out and save it as a treat for after i’ve done some writing

but right now i wanna watch before writing

so maybe i’ll do one ep, write something, then return to this?

edit: aahhaha that didn’t happen

-

04:04pm

I’M SO EXCITED

I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG

well... since 2011 when i first read the book

but regardless it’S BEEN 84 YEARS

-

04:05

okay first off i did not know amazon prime did adverts at the start of their videos. so i was like SINCE WHEN WAS CHILDISH GAMBINO/DONALD GLOVER IN GOOD OMENS

and then

yeah

no

either way i thought it was a good opening

-

W A R

NING

cool cool cool cool cool

-

omg i’m used to where the netflix full-screen button is, and on amazon prime that’s the “next episode” button so i gotta be real careful

-

dear god my video quality is TERRIBLE

i.......... i might torrent this show and watch it offline

this is horrendous i can’t see a damn thing

i have never seen pixels this big

-

04:11

okay the quality calmed down after a minute

i loooove the intro, i love that it’s basically word for word from the book

i feel like i’d find it funnier if i hadn’t read the book 3 months ago

-

also? god is a woman? yes

-

04:13

is it just me or does the snek have a slightly david tennant-esque quality about it

-

i’m so happy adam and eve are black

-

04:17

omfg. aziraphale said “ineffable” and now CRAWLEY’S CHECKING HIM OUT TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY JUNK

WOW

...or y’know, looking for a flaming sword. SAME FUCKING THING.

-

also i looove how FLUFFY azi is

-

azi: “do hope i didn’t do the wrong thing”

i fucking love them both uhrgughhhuhuhughuhhh

-

04:21

small sob for cuteness

umbella wings

-

04:23

in the opening titles, crowley just stopped a spaceship and aziraphale turned it into fish

i feel like that was a douglas adams reference and i’m on board

-

04:25

the entire time i read the book, up until i saw video promos of this show, i thought “crowley” was said the same way as spn’s “crowley”, as in “crahwlee”

not “crOhwlee”

i definitely like that they’re different though

both probably named after aleister crowley tbh. all of whom are queer.

-

THOSE SWAYING HIPS

i haven’t found david tennant attractive in about 9 years but WHOOOP HELLO AGAIN

somehow attractive for entirely different reasons than before. like. my taste changed but tHEN

-

i’m on crowley’s side, taking down a cellphone network is VERY ANNOYING

-

04:35

crowley: shitshitshitshithsit

:D

i can’t wait for aziraphale’s big swear

-

04:37

i miss eating sushi

sushi was great

-

04:43

this baby delivery thing is sTRESSFUL

“aaaaurthurrrrr”

nooo

poor lady

-

04:45

“little toesie woesies”

where’s the sister mary loquacious fan club and where do i sign up

-

i’m glad they colour-coded the babies and did the playing card explanation because this part of the book always tied my brain in knots

-

05:00

this is reminding me how utterly gross england is

-

“MY POINT IS............. DOLPHINS”

YES

-

05:06

see in the book

i never once realised that the nanny was crowley in disguise

-

05:11

digging the snake tattoo sideburns

-

05:14

and yeah the short hair looks good

-

05:15

fINALLY crowley called azi “angel”

-

05:17

crowley: “oh no no don’t do your magic act, pleeease”

the magic act scene is one of my fave parts of the book <3

-

05:20

aw man they cut out the best part

i mean i get why

the kids shouted a bunch of gay slurs at aziraphale

and there were no secret service people with guns

but aw mannn

AND THEY CUT OUT THE BIT WITH THE DEAD DOVE AND CROWLEY BRINGS IT BACK TO LIFE FOR AZIRAPHALE

THAT WAS MY SINGLE FAVOURITE BIT OF THE BOOK

AND IT’S GONE

;C

-

OH WAIT

THERE’S THE DOVE

OH GOOD

-

aw man aziraphhale just brought it back himself

i liked it better in the book

they sat on the steps outside and crowley comforted azi and took the dove and fixed it for him, and then it flew off

idk i just had such a perfect image of that moment in my mind and this was..... good but not the same at all

could be gayer

-

05:27

good dog

-

05:28

crowley: *snifsnif* something’s changed

aziraphale: “oh it’s a new cologne, my barber suggeste--”

crowley: “no no i know what you smell like”

gayyyyyyyyyy <3

-

05:31

okay that’s ep 1 watched!!! i’ll watch more maybe later tonight :D

ENJOYING THIS SO FAR

not as gay as expected ........YET

needs 400% more “angel” and “dear”

--

EPISODE 2: The Book

07:42pm

pillar of salt guy: “something smells evil”

the fact crowley smells evil and yet aziraphale likes his company regardless says a lot

-

07:49

fully expected crowley to say “i didn’t fall, i sauntered vaguely downwards”

-

07:50

iiiii’m finding the narrator a little annoying

maybe it’s because i read the book so i know what’s going on

but saying “he has four items to deliver in his van. he works for this postage company and he’s making his first delivery in a formal warzone”.... idk i feel like all of those things could be shown visually? saying it rather than showing it probably saved seven seconds of airtime, but damn

-

07:56

i wonder if the narrator was a later addition to this, for new audience clarity? the script for god just seems a little stilted, idk

edit: i kind of got used to it, but it was still jarring, which i’m sure was the opposite of the intended effect

-

08:09

the saddest newt

-

08:13

she’s kind of exactly how i imagined her in the book

and definitely my fave next to aziraphale and crowley

-

08:17

i feel so bad for crowley’s plants

poor babies

-

08:19

for some reason i imagined her as a redhead. kind of more like mrs weasley

-

08:33

these wee children......... so soft.......... so smol

-

08:25

v happy with the casting for pepper

tiny downside is that we lose another redhead

-

08:29

i find the kids’ conversations hilarious because they’re the same age as harry potter when he goes to hogwarts the first time

idk if this is what eleven year olds are like in real life, but when i read the book i did feel distinctly like they spoke like eight year olds

-

08:35

crowley: “i like spooky. big spooky fan, me”

he just sounds like the tenth doctor

-

08:36

YEEE FINALLY CROWLeY DOING NICE THINGS FOR AZIRAPHALE

-

08:48

"you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down you really are a--”

“SHUT IT”

DON’T YOU CALL HIM NICE YOU PRETTY BASTARD

-

loquacious: “sorry to break up an intimate moment”

-

08:45

i imagined anathema’s tripod thing to be about 5 feet tall, not a cute little knee-high thing

-

08:48

freddie mercury: BIIIII CYCLE

BIIIIIIII CYCLE

yeah i was waiting for that

-

crowley: “get in, angel”

HE MURMURED

DON’T MURMUR YOUR TERMS OF ENDEARMENT noo

-

09:00

end of episode 2!!! i freaking loved aziraphale vs the book <3

-

the credits for this ep credit konnie huq as someone named pam but idk who that is? i had a crush on konnie huq as a kid when she was a presenter on “blue peter”

OH WAIT RIGHT the lady on the breakfast show on crowley’s tv. aw such a small part. hoping we’ll see her again later

edit: nope. might rewatch that part to pay more attention. obviously i didn’t even recognise her after like.. 15 years

--

EPISODE 3: Hard Times

09:05pm

brb gotta get some food

-

09:14

and now i wait for food

EPISODE THREE LET’S GO

is this the one that’s just crowley and azi’s backstory?

-

09:16

i can’t even put my finger on why but he’s getting more attractive

-

09:21

ah yes

aziraphale is eating shellfish and trying to tempt crowley

“oh... that’s your job”

i love this part of their dynamic

-

09:29

i adore when crowley makes aziraphale smile <3

-

09:43

SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS

YEE

-

i like seeing how crowley’s sunglasses differ throughout history

-

09:36

“if they knew i’d been... fraternising”

this is such a forbidden romance i love ittttt

-

09:49

CROWLEY SAVED THE BOOKS

and SOFT VIOLIN PLAYS

THIS IS A FUCKING LOVE STORY

k this is my favourite part of the show so far <3

-

09:50

this angel just fell in love

right in that moment

i see cartoon hearts around him

-

09:54

just had to pause for a second bc there was some broccoli in my tea :c

-

09:56

awwwwwwwwwwwwww 

he got him holy waterrrrrrr

-

UNIVERSAL ANGLE OF HETEROSEXUAL LONGING

-

definitely feeling a lot of “NOW KISS” right about now

-

09:59

LAUGHING BECAUSE THE OPENING CREDITS ARE LITERALLY HALFWAY INTO THE EPISODE

-

10:03

throughout the entire book azi just came across as the kind of person who wore glasses even though glasses were never once mentioned

I AM GLAD TO SEE GLASSES

-

10:12

i like this colour palette and the gold in their makeup

-

10:27

“we can go off together”

omg the world’s ending and crowley’s all RUN AWAY WITH MEEE

-

10:31

okay then

good eyelashes

edit: i also like how their relationship was explained with a simple tap on the wrist: hurry up, you’re on the clock, i’m a sex worker, finish your call because i’m leaving

-

10:32

episode three DONE

these eps don’t feel long enough

maybe that means the pacing is just right? who knows

i feel like i should be doing something other than watching this but..... why

--

EPISODE 4: Saturday Morning Funtime

10:48pm

aziraphale is SOFT and he’s perfect like that <3

fuck u gabriel and your body shaming

-

10:53

i want delivery guy to be okay BUT I READ THE BOOK

so............... i know he will be...... eventually

-

10:55

how did they get photographs taken in the 1600s

-

oh gabriel’s eyes ARE purple, i thought i was seeing them wrong

-

11:02

“maud i love you”

noo ho hoooo

-

11:09

a little douglas adams, definitely

BUT NO PEPPER POT DALEK

AWW

-

11:10

the season is very much jumping between summer and autumn

though i suppose that’s the point, tadfield is just perfect

-

11:12

“which the internet has begun to refer to as the kracken”

i wonder if good omens inadvertently inspired me to write The Wireless a couple of years back. wouldn’t be surprising

edit: no, couldn’t have, because the internet wasn’t much of a thing (or a thing at all?) in the book, given its publish date

-

11:20

that’s a v nice dress/top combo

gosh she’s so pretty

-

11:30

crowley: “we can run away together!!! alpha centauri!!!”

aw baby

-

crowley: “i’m going home, angel! i’m getting my stuff, and i am leaving. and when i am up in the stars, i won’t even think about you!!”

THAT WAS A V SAD BREAKUP NOOOOO

why has there not been a single “dear” yet :c

-

11:37

oh no, this part

i loved this in the book but i am NOT READY for maggots

damn you gaiman

-

11:39

he’s so cute

and so gay

-

11:42

uriel: “don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in hell”

he looks kinda delighted uriel called crowley his boyfriend

i would say he looks worried but this shot was used without context in the trailer and it came across as genuine joy, i actually thought he was looking at crowley

-

11:46

i thought it was a strange throne before

a spider at the centre of a web

dark halo

yeah

-

11:51

oh now she’s a redhead???

-

also i’m glad they implied newt and anathema just kissed because the sex thing was weird in the book

-

okay never mind

hmm

-

12:05

aziraphale: “oh.................ffffUCK.”

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

-

12:07

oh no

it’s happening

oh no

i hate this part but i love what happens because of it

-

12:29am

i have eaten and now i have tea and i am back from MORE BOOKSHOP FIRE

-

EPISODE 5: The Doomsday Option

12:31

nuuuuuuuuuu

and “you’re my best friend” playing while crowley’s tryna call azi

nuuuuuu

-

“somebody killed my best friend”

jfhsdfjsdj

/sobs

-

12:36

freddie mercury: “somebody find me somebody tooo ooo looove”

edit: the narration WRECKED this. it was so dramatic and visually emotional but the voiceover completely screwed with it and it was SO UNNECESSARY.

-

12:46

crowley: “i lost my best friend”

he says, while crying, while talking to that friend

-

THE ONE BOOK HE WANTS IS THE ONE CROWLEY SAVED

THEY’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER

-

azi wanted to share crowley’s body

and then said they had to get a wiggle on

-

12:52

they cut out the hell’s angels / lesser horsemen

i figured they would, but still a shame

-

1:54

in the book tracy’s “spirit guide” was native american but daaaaaamn that part really needed to go

now she’s irish which is... better, probably

-

01:01

ron: “SHUT. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP”

this guy’s having the time of his life

-

01:03

he wave

-

01:05

1926 bentley; sexiest car right next to the ‘67 chevy impala

-

01:08

omg gotta translate and explain the road

-

01:13

OH NO the maggots are about to happen

they changed the placement of this but it worked for the pacing

-

OH NO

-

k well the maggots were gross but not as bad as i imagined

-

01:31

omg the dog turned upside down rather than be picked up

i wonder if that was intentional

dog: I DO NOT WANT UP

-

01:34

pfff he’s reading “american gods” by neil gaiman

-

01:44am

10/10 flaming car

-

EPISODE 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives

01:51am

here we go...

-

01:55

azi so happy that crowley said the dress suits him <3

-

01:57

rip bentley

-

01:59

aziraphale: “we are here to lick some serious butt!!”

crowley: “kick!! kick, aziraphale, for heaven’s sake”

-

02:06

i freaking love the parallel between the Them and the horsemen in the book

and i love that they did face shots to show the parallel

pepper = war

wensleydale = famine

brian = pollution

adam = death

the parallel is less clear for brian and wensleydale, at least in the show. was more obvious in the book. but at the same time i kind of got confused between them a lot, brian was always eating, but wensleydale was named after cheese

-

02:14

pepper: “i do not endorse everyday sexism”

/STOMPS ON WAR’S FOOT

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

-

02:25

shadwell: “anyone who wants ta get ta the hoore of babylon will have to get past me”

earlier anathema said “boyfriend”

may i point out that all the adults are paired up

shadwell & madame tracy

newt & anathema

......and....

aziraphale and crowley

-

0:28

crowley: “we are FUCKED”

these two need a holiday

-

azi: “come up with something... or.... or i’ll never talk to you again”

he knows crowley loves him aww

perfect blackmail material

-

02:32

they went from trying to kill him to being his gay angel parents real quick

-

02:35

thought they were holding hands for a second there

edit: regardless, a whole damn airfield and they’re 2cm apart

-

02:39

happy ending for the postman, hooray~

-

crowley about the bookshop, softly: “it burned down. remember? you can stay at my place”

awwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

-

02:42

CROWLEY GOT HIS CAR BACK AND YET HE TOOK A TAXI

-

02:45

anathema: “why is your car called dick turpin?”

newt: “dick turpin is a famous highwayman. it’s called dick turpin because everywhere it goes, it holds up traffic”

i laughed

this wasn’t in the book and i always wondered

-

02:51

i wonder if holy water wouldn’t burn him because he’s too good

-

03:00

gabriel: “don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine, i’m the angel fucking gabriel”

really enjoying these swears

-

03:03

i thought so

-

03:30am

paused for a bit to get ready for bed

i thought it was after 4am but nope

-

“there would be other summers, but not one like this. not ever again”

that genuinely makes me emotional

i think that’s why it’s my favourite book, i can relive that summer with them

-

03:35

omg

-

OH MY GOD

WAIT

THEY

OH MY GOD

THEY WEREN’T IMMUNE, THEY JUST SWAPPED PLACES

HOLY SHIT

edit: THIS WAS NOT IN THE BOOK AND IT’S BRILLIANT AND I’M GLAD IT’S HERE

-

crowley: “let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?

azi: “~temptation accomplished~!”

THEY’RE SO STINKING CUTE

-

“just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing”

perfect

STILL NO USE OF “DEAR” THOUGH AND IT’S KILLING ME

-

that ending with the bird made me teary-eyed

-

credits: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS SATAN

WOW

OKAY

AKSFJDSF /snorts

-

the end credits and the song i just wanna bawl my eyes out

i loved this so much and i’m so glad it was GOOD

i loved that they added so many people of colour. in the book i imagined crowley played by alexander siddig (star trek: deep space 9 era) but i guess david tennant makes a pretty good crowley too

i’m trying not to be upset that my favourite scene with the dove and aziraphale’s affectionate use of “dear” was taken out

but 

this was damn good regardless. even gayer in places than in the book

-

this nightingale song is my new favourite song

i never got the reference before

“and as we kissed and said goodnight, an nightingale sang in berkeley square:

GAY

SO GAY

i love

-

the end of the credits “For Terry”

ACTUAL OUT LOUD SOBBING

TERRY YOU WOULD’VE LOVED THIS

NEIL DID YOU PROUD

-

oh this was so beautiful

i’m gonna watch it again with my family probably within the week. i’m so emotionally tender now

azIRAPHALE WAS SO FLUFFY AND CROWLEY WAS SO NICE ABOUT THE BOOKS

ugh i love them more than ever

anathema...... i don’t know if i relate to her, want to be her, look up to her, want her to mentor me, live with her, or find her attractive. maybe all of the above. but she was freaking PERFECT. PE R F E CT 

the casting was so... just right. thank you casting people for anathema.

like... i also didn’t mind the newt/anathema thing so much now. it was hard to tell in the book how much of a relationship they had after, but that smile she gave while lying in bed the morning after, that worked, it said a lot. and i like that it was her choice to burn the prophecy sequel rather than newt’s suggestion

gabriel was amusing. like.. i’m glad he wasn’t in the book. but he was great here. also really like michael and uriel. uriel was so damn beautiful.

i also would really have liked to see a mention of the fact crowley and aziraphale are both agender and potentially asexual. not even a hint of it here. buuuuuut it guess i know from the book. so.

my favourite episode was of course episode 3 with crowley and aziraphale’s 6000 year backstory. especially the 1940s bit where crowley saved the books <3

this show was was less confusing than the book too. ugh it was done so well

OH

we didn’t see where the soldier guy went when aziraphale zapped him away!!! in the book he reappeared safely back home and went out to see his family. to be fair i don’t know whether he died and went to heaven, but it was a nice thing to happen

and they took out the Them’s bully/rival gang, who was led by the third baby from the baby swap, and who won awards for his tropical fish. at least that’s what i remember. which meant the parallel about heaven/hell being rival gangs was lost here. but the parallel between the horsemen and the them was stronger than ever and i loved that.

look, i mean, 10 out of 10, EASY.

favourite thing? yes. yes, absolutely.

--

shoutout to the one time i wrote a Good Omens/Destiel crossover fic The Angel Cake Challenge

IT’S 04:02am THIS TOOK ME 12 HOURS

04:40am AND FORTY MINUTES TO EDIT

congrats if you made it to the end of this!!! thank you for reading <3 AND GO WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

[captnbarnesrogers]

Better For Me (Part Three)

Pairing/Characters: Bucky x Reader, Steve x Natasha (Reader sometimes calls her Natalia), Sam Wilson, let’s just say everyone in the fuckin compound lmao

Warnings: Swearing, cocky!Bucky, sexual tension, eventual smut, it’s a slow buuuurn

Summary: You meet one of New York’s richest Bachelor’s. He’s hot, he’s rich, and he’s an absolute fucking asshole. Luckily for you, you’re an asshole too and you could take a challenge any day. Within the first 24 hours of knowing each other, you’ve already pushed each other over breaking point. But when something comes up, you’re both forced to try and get along. Can it be possible?

Word Count: 2231

Chapter Summary: Y/N sees a softer side of a man whom she despises. Bucky tries to find validation in Y/N and when things seem to be going great, something gets in the way.

A/N: WHAT THE HECKERS THERE IS 450+ OF YOU WHY????? I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH! Oh and the lucky numbers thing is my lil thing, eight is my lucky number :)

<<<PREVIOUSLY ON BETTER FOR ME

“Have you guys set a date yet?” You asked a very hungry Natasha, she looked up at you and nodded her head while swallowing the third piece of brownie she’d scoffed down her throat, you laughed at her,

“Don’t laugh at me, it’s the baby!” Steve came through from the hallway, he comes up behind her and kisses her on the shoulder after greeting you with a kiss on the cheek,

“Mrs. Romanoff-Rogers, please stop feeding my princess junk food.”

“Hey, baby, she loves the taste, it’s not me.” You smiled at them both, although they were just talking to each other, warmth surrounded the room, it’d always been like that even before their relationship started,

“So, when’s the date?” You asked as Natasha turned her attention back to you, 

“We decided on the sixteenth of Feburary”

“Any particular reason why?”

“Well, eight is his lucky number and so is mine, eight plus eight is sixteen.”

“You guys are really weird...” You laughed, taking a sip of your already cold tea, “Who even thinks of these things?”

“We do and your birthday has an eight in it! Look at us, you’re about to be the godmother of my child and the maid of honour at my wedding? Eight is my lucky number.”

“Coincidental, Nat, that’s all it is.” You laughed,

“You believe in star signs, that’s stupid!”

“Natalia Romanova, star signs are real!” You exclaimed, following her trail as she went to go sit down in the lounge room. Turning on the tv, she started to watch ‘Deadly Women’, you leaned against the arch that faced the sofa and bit the skin beneath your cheeks, “They are real you know, it’s true!”

“Uh-huh and how do you know for sure?”

“I know people.”

“Yeah? Like who?” She turned to look at you and raised her eyebrow,

“Like, um...” You bit your lip, “Like Bucky.” She turned to you, full body and smirked,

“So you know his birthday AND his star sign.” You rolled your eyes and walked away, “No, no, no, come back here!”

“Whaaaat?”

“What’s his star sign?” She kept raising and dropping her red haired brows, “C’monnnn, what is ittttt?”

“H-he’s a Pisces.”

“And you are?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Y/NNNNN!” She dragged out your name, wanting you to admit defeat. She took out her phone and started typing,

“Fine, I’m a Libra, Jesus, we’re not compatible so don’t expect anything.”

“Oh I’m expecting, it says here you guys could-”

“Ew, god, no!” You put your cup in the sink and washed it out, tipping it on the rack,

“But you guys would be such a cute couple!”

“I want to punch his fucking face all the goddamn time, yeah, such a cute couple.”

“If you guys could just-”

“If you say the words ‘make up and get along’, I’m going to drown myself.” She started to laugh but it faded quickly,

“Speak of the devil.” Bucky brought grocery bags on the bench top and kissed Natasha on the forehead, rubbing her tummy, whispering ‘don’t let the ugly lady be your godmother, I’m the better god-whatever’,

“Were you guys just talking shit?” Natasha went through the bags and squealed, “I know, I’m amazing.”

“You’re a king and I love you.” She opened the new box of brownies and started to eat them, “Anyway, she was just talking about her deepest and darkest James Buchanan Barnes sexual fantasies.”

“I’d rather choke on my own spit.” You replied, walking away from them both,

“I have a way for you to choke on spit and something else.” He winked,

“You’re disgusting.”

“I know you love it kinky, Y/N!”

“Oh wouldn’t you just like to know?” You smirked as he grazed his hand on your waist, giving you a seductive look that could kill every woman in New York,

“You know I would, Y/N, ‘D sell my soul to know.”

“If both of you are gonna have sex, could you maybe not do it in front of my unborn child and where my unborn child will sleep with my really hot soon-to-be husband?” Natasha interrupted your lust filled stares,

“He started it.”

“It’s not my fault she’s hot.” He whispered, you had to double take what he’d just said,

“What?” You and Natasha asked in unison with a confused look upon your faced,

“What?” he replies,

“What did you just say?”

“What did you just say?” You groaned and dragged your hands down your face,

“Wha- Yo- I… Ughhhh, you’re so annoying.” He smirked and gave a conquering chuckle,

“You hungry?” You nodded,

“You taking me somewhere?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Where do you want to take me?” You reply with a suggestive smile, he leans down to whisper in your ear,

“The bedroom.” You give him a nervous chuckle, the things he could do to you, the things you wanted him to do to you, “I’d tie you up…”

“Yeah?” You shivered as he slowly walked around you and moved your hair to the right side of your neck. You could feel his warm breath on the nape of your neck, his lips closely ghosting against a sweet spot you didn’t even know existed, you closed your eyes and breathed in deep, “And?”

“And I’d just leave...” You eyes shot open, rage erupting in you. You turned around and saw the smug look upon his face, “As if, Y/N.” He winked,

“Fucking asshole!” You murmured, hitting him the chest, the bruise from your knuckle sparking up pain, “Ow! Fuck!”

“You should try hiding your pent up sexual fantasies about me, it’s showing.”

“Fuck you.”

“I know you’d love to.” You growled and gave him the finger, “Are you coming to get lunch or not?”

“No!”

“Y/NNNN!”

“Fuck off, Bucky.”

“My treat?”

“Don’t care.” You walked over to the freezer, grabbing a bag of peas and he followed behind you,

“Y/N, what are you doing?”

“I always seem to hurt myself whenever I’m around you.” He stared at you, not exactly knowing what you meant, it sounded quite different to him. He bit his lip and inhaled deeply,

“Me too.”

“I try to be nice, James.” But that wasn’t what he meant, he didn’t mean the many fights that he seemed to love to erupt out of you, he meant that in the last week, he’d felt something. He didn’t know how to be different but all he knew is that he wanted to be different for you, good enough for you. It always seemed to hurt when he saw you and his heart would clench,

“Let me see that.” He looked at you for permission, you nodded and he gently grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his face to investigate the damage. Your heart fluttered, although both of you argued about almost everything, you would never admit how much you liked this side of Bucky because admitting that would be admitting that you liked him… Even just that little bit. He gave you a chuckle, “D’unt look as bad as the last time I saw it, less purple.” He brought it up to his lips and placed a small kiss on the bruise. You looked at him in adoration, your other hand meeting hid cheek to caress it,

“Why don’t I get to see this Bucky as often?”

“It’s not me. Not what I’m known for.” He let go of your hand, straightening himself up, your hand still against his cheek. He subconsciously began to lean into it, his hand meeting yours,

“I think he’s… amazing.”

“What?” You realised what you’d just said and pulled your hand away, his hand still needing yours to linger against it. You cleared your 

“I’m um, hungry.”

“My treat, your choice?” You nodded, “Get changed, I’m not taking you out looking like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like shit.” He gave you a chuckle, he was back.

You changed into a white long sleeved top and black skinny jeans, pairing it with a leather jacket and black knee high boots. You grabbed your bag and followed Bucky out the door. You stared at him, his hair slicked to the side just like the night you met him. He wore a white button up and black jeans with a black trench coat. You drooled at the sight of him,

“Staring at people is bad, stop or we won’t go to that stupid café.” He says, turning to look at you,

“Alright, alright.” You laughed, linking your arms in his, he looked at you confusingly and shook his head, “I don’t want to get lost.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you just wanted an excuse to touch me.”

“So what?” You look up at him and smirk,

“You are something else.”

“I’m better for you though, I’m great!”

“I think you’re gonna be the worst thing that has ever happened to me, doll.” He greets the waiter at the door and leads you both to your favourite table, your heart silently racing to his choice of name,

“I like that.” You say as you look at the menu which was really useless because you always ordered the same thing when you got there,

“Like what?” He raised an eyebrow,

“Doll.”

“You like when I call you doll?” You nodded, your face flushing red, “I’ll keep it in mind.” You both sat in silence as he chose what he wanted to eat, “What are you getting?”

“The thing I always get.” He pulled the menu down from his face,

“Why don’t you get anything else?”

“Because.”

“You should try something different for once, you’d be surprised at what you find you’ll like.”

“Mister wise guy takes another hit.” You say, rolling your eyes, “You ever realise you love to speak in riddles?”

“They’re not riddles, they’re phrases… Little miss lawyer, you should know that.” You sneered at him and stuck your tongue out, “Alright,” he placed his menu on the table, “here’s what we’ll do, you can order for me and I’ll order something for you.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“And me, you, but you need to try something different.”

“Fine but whoever likes the others’ food is paying next time.”

“But I’m paying this time?”

“Bet’s a bet, James.” You winked and held out your hand, he shook your hand and stared into your eyes intently,

“You’re on.” The waiter came and took both of your orders and walked to the counter, handing them the slip for your order. You scrolled through your phone and silently giggled at the memories of you and your friends back home, some of your only good memories, “Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you mean what you said? Back at the house?”

“About what?” You looked up and put your phone away, concealing it in your pocket,

“You know, about me? When I looked at your hand?” You straightened your posture and cleared your throat,

“I don’t know.”

“You do, Y/N, do you uh.. you know… like m-” His question was interrupted by the waiter placing a small vase of flowers in the centre of your table,

“Compliments of the manager, for the happy couple he says.” The waiter smiles,

“Oh, we’re not-” Bucky interrupts you and grabs your unharmed hand, smiling up at the waiter,

“Thank the manager for me, my girlfriend loves roses.” He nods and walks away,

“Gross.” You say when the waiter disappears and laugh, letting go of his hand. You put it back in your hand, both of your hands moving against each other, unintentionally intertwining, “Your hands are soft… big.”

“Yours too, cold, you didn’t wear gloves?”

“No, I forgot.” Before he could warm your hands up in his, a familiar voice came from behind Bucky,

“Hey guys! I didn’t know you guys were... dating?” With the sight of Sam, you pulled your hand away and stood up to greet him,

“Oh uh, we’re not, we were just pretending.” Bucky saw how your eyes lit up when you saw Sam, how nervous you suddenly got, how fast you talked,

“Pretending?” He laughed,

“The waiter brought us flowers and thought we were going out and Bucky played it out.”

“Well uh… this is a cute pretend date, you think I can take you out on a real date?” Bucky’s head began to hurt, his teeth ground against each other and his fist clenched. He didn’t know why but at the same time he had a hunch, a very correct hunch at that. You giggled like a little school girl and stuttered,

“S-sure, I’d love that.”

“Alright, sweet, are you free this Saturday?” He asked, giving you a sweet smile. You nodded, “Here, give me your number and I’ll text you?”

“Yes, um, here..” You typed in your number into his phone and his to yours, just like the first night you both met, he kissed your hand. Just in time, the waitress called out his name,

“I’ll see you on Saturday, beautiful.” He smiled victoriously and grabbed his order from the counter, waving goodbye to you and Bucky as he exited. You sat back down and squealed,

“I gotta go.” Bucky says as he put a twenty dollar bill on the table,

“What? We haven’t got our food yet, Buck...”

“I don’t know Y/N, looks like Sam made you pretty full.” And before you could call out his name to protest against his leave, he was out the door.

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PART FOUR>>>