#I just wanna start writing again
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i want to write about my OCs but i have no idea where to start and it's making me go feral in a bad way
#writeblr#writing#i just wanna start writing again#how did high school me pump out poems and stories like that huh
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'Dead Poets Society' gang
Headcanon that these four drop poetry and literature quotes on their conversations unprompted.
Jason 'English-major-I-only-visit-the-manor-for-the-library' Todd-Wayne
Damian 'I-master-liberal-arts-unlike-you-plebs-PHD-holder' al Ghul-Wayne
Cassandra 'I-learn-English-thru-Shakespeare-as-god-intended' Cain-Wayne
Duke 'only-title-holder-of-vigilante-poet-and-will-cuss-you-just-as-poetically' Thomas-(future) Wayne
#My background is ass#I promise to practice but omg i am losing motivation coz its too ugly#started putting some on coloring that i started being happy about it#But my background is level toddler i hate it#the patience and discipline to make my lines straight and clean is nonexistent gdi...why did past me choose library gdi#Just writing some Duke in my fics and this image of them all just made me wanna do art...Duke is a poet and writes stories u kno?#Duke is not a wayne yet...and is not dead yet...but with how comics goes then its just a matter of time lol#They're all in school here...Cass and Jason are college watching over their juniors in high school#everyone use cardigans but Jason like his leather so no thanks lol#Duke and Cass in outsiders are cute#jason todd#dc comics#damian wayne#fanart#robin#cassandra cain#duke thomas#inking & background study#Damian is now 14!!!! He's getting old...he's like a baby yesterday omg#I need to stop obsessing over this so i posted a WIP so i can continue writing my fic!!! argh#Im gonna watch youtube tutorials again on drawing bookshelves coz i cannot do this without guidance
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griddlehark modern pen pal au where they don’t know each other but are assigned as pen pals for those pen pal projects you get in middle school and it just turns into them sending each other hate mail and somehow they just keep going for several years, even though they dont rly have to
#smth about them yearning through letters???? sign me up#this was inspired by me sending a lot of letters at work today#n also inspired by my old pen pal ly (if u r readinf this i miss u sm)#the locked tomb#griddlehark#i kinda wanna write this but i have never written anything rly#maybe one day idk#harrowhark nonagesimus#gideon nav#gideon the ninth#bonus points if stop at some point because Emotions and then one day at a rly low point one of them sends a letter to the other#ans they just start up the whole thing again???#one day harrow would def be like im at this coffee shop at this time meet me if you want#and gideon would drive any distance to meet her or smth#and they r both like?????????? thats what you look like#and then they live happily ever after or smth#i might delete this later#also idk if that pen pal project thing is A Real Thing In Real Life#i think i mightve made it up
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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Of Godsons, Fruitloops, and Lois 'I will drag all secrets out into the sun' Lane
Danny loses his parents due to their own lack of safety in the lab (death? Coma? People finally putting their foot down about the Fenton's endangering their kids? Idk pick). Jazz can't take him in due to being in college and living on its campus (and he didnt want to force her into an apartment just to keep him, he saw the prices and knows she'll have to work to make rent) and Danny fears the only place he can go to is... Vlad. (Sam's parents would never let him live with her and Tucker's place doesn't have the room)
Vlad's been lording it over Danny, smug about it all, after all he IS Danny's godfather and he has the space and money to provide for the boy in his time of need.
Only, when digging into Danny's files, his social worker discovers Vlad isn't Danny's godfather, he was meant to be but the Fenton's forgot to send/sign in the final paperwork (even if those documents were the only contact they had with Vlad over the years before the reunion)
No Danny's godparent, the person to take him should anything happen to the Fenton's is....
Lois Lane.
His mom's childhood friend.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#blue rambles#crossover#writing ideas#random idea#danny phantom dc#dpxdc#Lois gets a call about her godson who she hasnt really seen since he was a toddler#both she and Maddie had gotten busy with their lives and careers but did still talk at time#she does still send things and have talked with Danny over the phone though#though last time they spoke was before his accident#when she see's him alarm bells start ringing#Danny just got out of a fight with Skulker and is kinda curling in on himself as Vlad is towering over him and threatening him#Vlad is trying to use Lois as a 'Tell her you wish to stay with me and I wont have to harm her' threat against Danny#ooooh what if Clark was with her#and hears EVERYTHING Vlad's been saying#normally i do the bats but hey I wanna switch it up a bit#Lois has a new rich target to sic her investigate journalism on#'hmmm yes EXACTLY how did you get so rich so fast again Mr. Masters?'
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this is kit, please commission some art from them on social bunny 🙏
#ts4#sims 4#just wanted to test out relight but now i have a whole new gameplay i wanna do#my house wifi's been down since friday so i'd nothing better to do lol#assignments shouldn't exist. i should be able to play video games all day >:(#i think i'm going to remove this font replacement cus it can't do accented letters :(#i had to uninstall wickedwhims cus my uni friend wants to play sims on my laptop tomorrow LOL#anyways kits cool though#they're in the same save as virgil's tjol :)#so they might meet him!#uuughhh i fuckin hate thursdays. i'm out of the house for like 14 hours :((#going to england in 8 days tho i'm so excited to see my family again :) they got a new dog too!! a jack russell named paddy lmaooo#i got tagged in kmik posts but i'm saving them for friday night when i'm not busy <3#goodnight simblr#it's 11:50pm and i need to start writing my essay due tomorrow D:
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this is not a ship post, but something that frustrates me a lot in fanon concerning Jason Todd that attempts to soften Jason's return to Gotham for the sake of found family domesticity or easy hurt/comfort or just sliding him into the Batfam sooner, is they all seem to fundamentally misunderstand Jason.
because there seem to be a lot of fandom popular concepts of Jason coming home much sooner and just not having his whole Under The Red Hood arc. which in theory is fine and i can see the want to simplify canon to make room for your lighthearted more fluff-leaning concepts. but in everyone without fail, the way they address the clown-shaped elephant in the room is by having some throwaway line that "oh Jason quietly kills the Joker and moves on".
when the Joker being dead or alive is not the *point*. if by some chance accident, the Joker had died prior to Jason's return, whether by ridiculous freak accident, getting whacked by a fellow villain, hell even someone actually doing so to avenge Jason, it *would not* satiate Jason's anger. because Jason's end goal in UtRH is not to simply kill the Joker: it is to make *Bruce* kill the Joker. Jason's anger is directed to the idea that to Jason, if Bruce truly loved Jason, he would've killed the Joker. that is love, for Jason. compromising your personal values for love and not letting someone go unavenged. when Jason was Robin, almost every angry or misguided thing he did was born of love. he wanted to kill/hurt Two-Face because he believed Dent killed his father. he was so angry at Felipe because an innocent woman was dead due to that man's actions. he wanted to save his mother in a situation he knew he shouldn't be in because he loved her. his anger, his violence, it is driven by love and feelings of righting wrongs. that is how he thinks wrongs *should* be righted. that is how you avenge and *love* someone.
because so long as Jason's return to Gotham doesn't end in Bruce killing the Joker (which, it never will bc Bruce is Bruce), Jason will never forgive Bruce. you cannot wave away the layers of hurt and complicated trauma by killing Joker offscreen. because Jason will still be angry that Bruce didn't avenge him. in his eyes, that means Bruce did not love him enough. he was not truly loved by Bruce the way he loved Bruce. bc Bruce was Jason's whole *world*. prior to being taken in, Dick and Tim, they had support systems. they had loved ones. they knew what stability and healthy family love looked like. Jason *didn't*. and that's not to say that Catherine Todd did not love him with her whole heart and thus he loved her, but it certainly wasn't a stable and safe support system for Jason to grow up in. Bruce was Jason's first real sense of a stable, healthy life. and so of course Jason poured everything into Bruce and loved Bruce so devoutly. Bruce was his world. like he says, if it had been Bruce, Jason would've stopped at nothing.
so his betrayal is rooted in that he was not avenged, not that Joker is alive. so long as the Joker does not die by Bruce's hands, it will never be enough for Jason. (in this era, at least.) notably, this is also why i don't think it would change a thing if Jason knew the whole "oh Bruce wanted to kill the Joker but Superman stopped him" tidbit that fanon has really latched onto as a way to pacify Jason's anger toward Bruce. Jason knowing that wouldn't change a thing, in my opinion. because Jason knows Bruce. and a tenant of Bruce's character is that he grapples with murder *every day*. the whole point is how *easy* it would be for him. he is a human weapon, trained by killers, trained to be deadly. he is the greatest strategist to exist. he knows he could kill someone and get away with it. *no* trace, no proof, nothing. and he knows he *wants* to. wants to kill the Joker, Joe Chill, anyone who's hurt him that viscerally.
but he *doesn't*. that's the point. Bruce wakes up every day with that question on his mind, and every day the answer is the same. Bruce's morality is not a decision he made in an alleyway when his parents died, it's a decision he continues to make every day and he *must* continue to make in order to remain who he is. Jason is quite familiar with the fact that Bruce grapples with this daily. i do not think it surprised nor fazed Jason to know that Bruce did *consider* killing the Joker. that he wanted to. maybe even planned to. but a consideration, a want, a plan, is just a thought. it's nothing substantial, and substance is everything to Jason. at the end of the day, Bruce didn't. he was talked down by *Clark* of all people with an excuse of diplomatic immunity, as if Jason and Bruce don't both know that Bruce could've *easily* found a way to make it look like an accident or some other loophole. because he's Batman. there's always a loophole. he always finds a way when he actually intends to. but he never actually intended to kill the Joker. so he didn't. and Jason would know that there was never an intent. it's an interesting piece of fodder to add to the nuance of Jason and Bruce, but honestly, i think it'd make Jason angrier to have that excuse thrown in his face. as if Bruce hasn't beaten Clark half a dozen times by now. it's a flimsy nonsense excuse that Jason would rip to shreds.
so while yes, i understand the wish for easy lighthearted fanfic that doesn't have to deal with the nuances of canon, i think that Jason's character will always be so deeply robbed and altered if you try to fix his thirst for vengeance with an off-page killing of Joker at Jason's hands. it was never the point. the point was that -in his own eyes- he wasn't loved enough for Bruce to make an acception. he realized that not even his *death* would come before Bruce's Mission. Jason truly believed that Bruce loved him and held him as the most important thing in the world, and now he has proof that Bruce didn't. because the Mission mattered more.
i'm not saying i have a solution to this conundrum if you're attempting to solve it for fanfic/fanon, nor am i even saying it's a bad thing it exists. i just think it becoming overwhelmingly common has led to misunderstandings surrounding Jason's motivations and feelings about this arc and it's an unsatisfying solution that only seeks to pacify Jason's rage and his trauma responses for the sake of found family-ification.
#necrotic festerings#jason todd#fandom meta#idk man this isn't too serious it's really just me noticing this becoming a dominate thing#also this post isn't a subtweet at literally anyone specifically#it's a commentary on a trend as a whole#so no one think i'm like. being shady pls.#and if you write jason killing the joker himself during this era that is okay and it's valid#i just don't want the fandom largely treating it as in character#but ooc fanfic is allowed to exist! that's valid yk!#also i once again wanna reiterate all of this is commentary on *this era*#this is a pre-flashpoint meta.#jason's realtionship to his trauma *wildly* changed in both new-52 and rebirth so yeah. he's at a point he's “moved on”#and either seeks to kill joker himself or seeks to just let go of the whole thing#depending on the arc#(but if i get into that then i get into my feelings on how jason has had no consistent characterization in the past decade. so.)#(that's a can of worms we're not opening here it will make some ppl mad and i'm not dealing with it.)#is this how i start writing serious character metas and not unhinged shippy ones. idk#i've got others in my head but#i fear the discourse#if the discourse on this post gets bad i will turn off replies and reblogs idc#this is me testing the waters. ig.#also if a single person tries to argue about tim not having a loving family i will bite you /lh#yes he did. the drakes make not have done the *best* job! i'm not arguing that.#but they loved him and he had a support system.
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Happy One Year Anniversary to Boy King AU!!!! 🎉
Okay wait before I start talking, look at these close ups and the process!! Aren't they so beautiful aaaahhhh
Wow, can you believe it’s really been a whole entire year since my very first post about this AU? Well technically I first started talking about the statuette a day earlier, but the very first sketch was exactly a year ago!! Let us not forget the incredibly prophetic tag on that post: “also in the sense of this au i think the only ship that would work(historically accurate wise) is Vettonso.” Who knew that after that my entire life would devolve into vettonso, this specific period of history, and the lovely combo which is Boy King AU. Also wow this means it’s taken me almost a whole entire year to actually draw a joint portrait of them hahaha. I drew this sketch around the beginning of the AU, but never finished it. It’s fine though because this one is a lot better, and I’m in love with it. Took me a year to draw a couple portrait, and took me almost a whole entire month to finish said piece.
Okay let me explain this piece, which I am very obsessed with!!! I dragged the process out more than I usually would, but I’m glad, because it was so enjoyable. But also look at that fucking crown, no wonder this took almost a month. Usually I’d write like 50 paragraphs detailing the characterization. HOWEVER! I’ve spent over a month writing little bits of characterization, mostly for fun, but also in preparation for this very post. A lot of the earlier ones, I had this drawing in mind, thinking on how I could expand on the ideas I was drawing. Though there’s definitely some things I could still write about. I’ll probably continue to write more Lore a Days, but yeah, they basically amounted to this drawing where you can actually see the characterization I was talking about displayed. Anyways, here are the explanations of bits in the drawing:
First of all, this is some part of the long process of their wedding. Look at the married couple!! Look at their rings!!!
Okay, but why are there two, almost identical looking pieces?? Because look at their hands!! I talked a lot about how Fernando is the one to give out affection more easily, especially in public, where he knows he can easily fluster Seb. He’s acting all grumpy and out of it, I mean to be fair, it’s probably been such a long ceremony across weeks. But he notices Seb is out of it too, just better at keeping his smile (let’s be honest, even if he’s distracted, he’s super smug.) So Fernando catches him off guard by squeezing his hand. Before that, as you can see, Fernando is just resting his hand on Seb’s outstretched palm, like that one scene from Succession. Very: yes I’m getting married, but I’m not happy about it. The combination of Fernando refusing to even touch him more than lightly beforehand but now going full force, them being in public, and Seb already being distracted catches Seb so off guard he has to try to cover his blush with his fan. He thought Fernando was being super impolite, but now he’s the impolite one!! Getting all blushy and giggly over a simple display of affection, perhaps even ha-
So. Their crowns. Seb’s wearing the crown of Austria, because he is in fact only a king still! Also, because I really wanted to try drawing it after I wimped out of it before in this drawing. Fernando’s a king as well by the point, but the fact he’s wearing only a tiara-like hairpiece is to represent how much of an outsider he still is. At this moment, he’s just Seb’s wi- ,I mean husband, to all these guests. Of course this bitch wears a black veil instead of a white one, to signal that he’s mourning the loss of his autonomy and personhood. Don’t worry too much about his mental state though, considering he’s not depressed enough to be able to resist teasing Seb.
The fan, oh my god. Back in this era, people would gift/make fans for basically any occasion. To symbolize an event, to celebrate something, to show a story, etc etc. I wish I could have drawn something more narrative, but I think the bull vs. horse is good enough. Also you can see those same symbols on the pendants they’re wearing!! I’m so happy when I can fit irl, modern stuff like that into these drawings, it feels so clever!!
It’s so funny, I wrote a lore a day from a prompt about what they’d be like when doing a joint portrait, while I was already almost through painting a dual portrait of my own! So I got to explain some stuff like their clothing colors and poses before I even posted this. I feel very coy about that still honestly.
Hmmm what else? It feels so weird to not expand on the characterization, considering I already did it for myself weeks in advance. I can’t imagine what it’s like opening this read more, and seeing more than 10 in-text citations. Happy reading!!!
Happy anniversary to this wonderful, crazy AU that makes me download 500pg German papers about 18th century etiquette. I drew a couple pieces of fanart before this AU, but I definitely think it jumpstarted my insanity about drawing/making AUs, and literally is what made me insane about Vettonso in the first place. Remember, if I hadn’t learned about Joseph I/Charles VI, most of my blog probably wouldn’t exist in it's current form. Thank you if you’ve stuck around since the beginning, or if you’re even just learning about it now!! It’s so incredibly niche but I’ve had so much fun researching and building this world and these characterizations, and I hope you’ve enjoyed what I’ve made in the process. I hope I can draw/write many more things in the future. I think next, I’m gonna maybe open up requests. I’d like to try to either write ficlets or draw chibi comics about specific Lore a Day posts on request. I think that’d be a lot of fun, but also will probably kill me. We’ll see!! Anyways. PPlease enjoy this absolute labor of love, which is a result of a year’s worth of work.
#idk why I decided that the best time to write all that was right when I have to sleep#who cares about the race!? its boy king au day!!!!!!#waughhhhhh i cant believe its been a yearrrrrrrrr#they are my sons. my babies. borderline ocs im ngl.#i fear that one day soon imma lose my interest in f1 but then just keep posting niche fanart LMFAO#look forward to that day <3#weird to think its been an entire year and think about how much has changed since that day#im really glad ive stuck with this even though its gotten hard for me sometimes#the past month or so has been a lot more creative than i thought#and im glad it could all result in this#it was so weird drawing this over like a month#i didnt wanna finish it too soon and then dislike it when the day actually came#so thats actually why i started writing lore a day. so i could have smth creative to do in the meantime#again. ty if youve been with me since teh beginning of this and if youre just seeing this now. i love you all dearly#thank you for supporting me and this crazy idea :) it makes it 100x more enjoyable#f1#formula 1#<- SOOOOO FUNNY TO TAG THESE LMAO#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#boy king au#catie.art.
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part of that "raising a kid au" i was working on, this is almost definitely not how skill checks work and i don't even know if i'll include this, but for now i think it's. so funny kjkgj
#task: when two skills love each other very much#inland drabbles#SHE WAS JUST BORN WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!#ITS SO STUPIDLY SELF INDULGENT KJGKJ i have constant baby fever and kid fics are very dear to me kjkjg#i love the idea of all 24 (26?? 27??? 28?????) of these idiots raising a syskid together#i have many thoughts but its not a coherent story at all haskjsj#i know her name and her role as a skill (she's a psyche) and i think the concept is adorable though i won't reveal spoilers#echem and volition (either not dating yet or new to their relationship) start to understand her better due to their roles.#but all the skills try to help raise her together :'] coloring with concept and hand/eye tossing her in the air and catching her again#i wanna have a lil arb and limbic thing too..#oh this shit is gonna be absolutely ooc im so sorry in advance i just want them to raise a kid together jlkgjlk#i want to make it a comic but augh. god jkgljkj#all of my fics are just like. hey what if the skills are friends. and then i write that over and over again lmao
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Hypothetical question but are we still into windbreaker (nii satoru)? Y'all cool if I put my hyper fixation on center stage?
#wind breaker#windbreaker#wind breaker nii satoru#windbreaker nii satoru#i uh...found my new hyper fixation#once again super late to the party#you would not BELIEVE how long I've been twidling my thumbs waiting for SOMETHING to show up in my dingy space i call a brain to get excited#im gonna be real with yall after writing genshin for 4+ years#(literally started within the first month genshin dropped)#kinda fucking bored of it 👍#not to say im dropping genshin thats my baby#but i would like to uhh branch out you know#i get super brief fixations (literally had a blue lock phase and why i dropped off the face kf the earth that one time) and wrote like 15#fics on bl that never ended up getting posted cause this was a genshin/hsr blog#but i uh would like to possibly change that you know#i just wanna write more things without feeling like i need to create an entirely separate blog ;-;#but yeah uh super brief fixation windbreaker is a temporary thing (assuming there is even a reader base that's interested. if not#(if not. totally fine. back to genshin we go) but im not dropping anything. i just wanna write about more things#psa over
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(One more silly werewolf doodle before I go to bed)
Poor Dust didn't stand a chance, how long do you think it took Horror to learn his strength and stop destroying everything in the vampire house? lol
(Also in case you're going to bed around now too goodniiiight!!)
(Unless you see this in the morning in which case good moooorning!!)
WAAAAAA cutiesss, Horror just fucking clocked him holy shit T T, this is so cool thank u sm!!
I think.. College au Horror is very controlled. He knows his strength, maybe there was a small adjusting period when he started living with vamps instead of a pack of wolves similar in strength.
He's very teasing though, so probably lots of 'oh no gravity is increasing on me' bullshit lol.
#I need to psychoanalyse them#I don't wanna start writing too much just cause there might be stuff I wanna go back on#I just really like the idea that he's sort of horrifying#like with him skinning wolves from other packs#I think he'd be the type to twist someone's arm behind their back super hard#in the way that really hurts#like if he needs info or something#just cause I do like somewhat darker aspects to his character?#but again I still want him to be likeable and nice#so I'm just not sure#these are just thought rn#Charlie Somegrumpynerd#answered asks#but likeeee#he's nice within the coven#or something#it's doesn't please me yet#so I'll find a solution for his personality#expect changes#lol
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yknow when i started reading comics i wasnt a dickbabs and tim drake hater BUT COMIC WRITERS ARE TESTING MEEEEEEE
#let it go#please#let barbara be oracle and tim be red robin#why are you making them go back to their past personas#THEY WERE GROWING#its the favoritism#istg they are just making me tiredddd#anti dickbabs#anti tim drake#so the fans dont accidentally find this..#LOOK ITS NOT EVEN ABOUT THE THING ITSELF I JUST DONT LIKE THE WRITING#ITS BAD#IT SUCKS#YOU JUST KEEP MAKING THEM GO BACK TO THEIR ORIGINAL STATE AND DISREGARD ALL OTHER CHARACTERS JUST BC U WANNA SEE ONE PARTICULAR THING HAPPE#TIM BEING ROBIN AGAIN DISREGARDS DAMIAN#AND DICKBABS DISREGARDS BABS HERSELF BRUCE AND KORY#ITS JUST BAD#THE DISRESPECT I SWEAR TO GOD#and honestly thats why i kinda hate j*njay too but dont make me start on that#dc has disrespected my boy jon long enough....#ajitomiel speaks
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hmmm thinking about how both Knuckles and Licho have been stuck in a single place for as long as they remember, Knuckles completely isolated and Licho unseen by anyone for a very very long time hmm
#licho learned to possess people but it chose to be violent about all of that#lmao#still figuring it out I'm thinking what skills my little thing could have I have some ideas and others I'll polish some time later#I was thinking about how this entire au. Beyond meeting licho is about knuckles looking for the pieces of the master emerald#so he can be guardian again. basically#and while the me is Knux's purpose and collecting all its pieces will allow him to return Home hes also basically trying to return#to the way things were originally where he was stuck on angel island. basically forever#and licho wants that emerald so it can finally free itself it's like the opposite thing for both of them#god I wanna write something about this but I wanna start for them beginning and that's like a year in the past brother#many things have happened#fon knux to end up in spiralside and spiralside ain't the end either sncnskckd#pls forgive if this isn't written very well I'm not feeling up to writing my thoughts rn I'm just thinkingggg#thinking sooo hard rn#licho the spirit#I need to go to sleep it's 5am again but I had a nap and I can't sleep anymore urghhh
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Since watching the new season of heartstopper ive been playing around with labels again (which I haven’t done since a friend I trusted basically shut me down and told me I can’t just be something without having “tried all my options first” ew). I’m always scared to relabel or try identifying as something other than what I’m comfortable being because I feel like I owe everyone consistency
When I was 15 (I’m 21 rn) I came out as lesbian and honestly I was so comfortable with that and how people perceived me and I kinda loved how my male friends (which I had a lot of back then) treated me. The downside was how the black community treated me, I was mostly in the closet to them but the closet was very much transparent (they could always tell I wasn’t straight lol)
The year I turned 18 I started identifying as bisexual, largely because I thought I might like my male best friend. I proposed the idea and he asked me out almost immediately. We dated for exactly 7 days before I realized I wasn’t really into him like I thought. Downside to this era was the comments my male friends would make about “bisexual girls” to me. The only thing was that I was too scared to start identifying as lesbian again because I had come out to all my friends as bi already.
So I carried that label until now (a few people I know still think I’m probably lesbian still lol). The reason I felt comfortable in this label was because I had just turned 18. I went clubbing and did some excessive drinking for the past few years and being bi gave me an excuse to drunkenly make out with random men on nights out. I still don’t know how I feel about men to this day I guess (I’ve always known I’m romantically attracted to women but I’m always on the fence about men, it’s a bit weird)
My trouble came with the fact that I’m not keen on hooking up with people. No matter their gender I’m just not super excited about the concept of “intercourse” or any of the stuff that comes with it. When the last season of Sex Education came out I watched it with a friend and offhandedly made a joke about being ace in reference to one of the characters and she went “you can’t be ace you just haven’t had sex yet” and that literally sent me spiraling for days and I just pushed the feeling down and ignored it
Earlier this year though I was having one of my late night talks with my little sister because we had a sleepover in the living room. I made a joke about how I’m probably never gonna be in a relationship ever because I don’t really wanna have sex and she asked me if I was being serious. I said yes and she said “there will definitely be people out there that will be with you even if you don’t wants sex, you need to stop being such a dramatic bitch lol”. That was obviously really reassuring to hear someone I love tell me it’s ok to not want sex, even if that person is my straight 17 year old sister.
I’ve been very afraid of being openly asexual because I’m scared no one will love me if I can’t give them sex but also I know I’m capable of loving people without them giving me sex but that’s only because I don’t want sex in the first place. I just feel I will personally be unlovable.
Anyway back to heartstopper. Imogen’s journey with comp het was very much relatable for obvious reasons as I had gone through all that by that age (and am still deliberating to this day if I just crave male attention, which is sad I wish I was still as confident as I was at 16 to know but life took over lol) and of course Issac’s journey with dealing with the affects of being aroace in a world that revolves around romantic relationships and conditions us to believe we need to want sex and romance. I had already read solitaire, Loveless and Radio Silence when I was in secondary school. Radio silence was the first time I felt so utterly seen in a character. That being Aled Last (mostly relating in our similar relationships with our mums). And then I read loveless and it literally put me off kilter of months. To see Georgia’s journey had me reflecting on everything I was taught about relationships and sex and friendships (but then I had exams and graduation and had to put that self revelation on hold lol)
All this to say, I’m deciding from today that I want to identify as Asexual. I know labels can be limiting to some people and they have been to me for that past few years as well but I think being ace is something I have to go to be true to myself. I’m definitely not coming out of the closet anymore I’m too tired of thinking I owe that to people but I’m going to try be honest with myself.
#this was so weird to write#I should definitely just start using my diary again lol#I mostly wanted to write this out cuz I don’t wanna wait 2 weeks to see a Uni counselor lol#asexual#aromantic#aroace#aro#ace#osemanverse#heartstopper
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i want to learn to draw actual decent art so that i can draw art for my favourite ships 😕😕
#especially pandalily#OH AND EMMARY#emmary my babies ily#pandalily my loves <3#also art as a general statement bc i just wanna pull out a notebook and start drawing wtv comes to mind#like that sounds so fun#and i wanna start writing again#bc i have so many ideas for books that i've just abandoned#hmmmm#random#marauders era#pandalily#emmary#rosekiller#jegulus#wolfstar#dorlily#dorlene#YOU NAME IT !!!
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I wrote a song about a lawnmower :D
(but the rough piano arrangement I made up has too many weird chord changes so I can't play it properly yet lol but it's still kinda funky)
Anyways would y'all like to hear a demo?
#for some reason my mind has been bugging me to write about a lawnmower for two months so I finally wrote some funky shit!!!#I actually want to suggest it to that guy from my school who was interested in making music with me because we gotta start doing stuff#and I want it to be noisy with some synths and electronic rhythms but also guitar screeching and acoustic piano rumbling#but right now I've just got a piano arrangement that I can't even play properly :D#I usually don't share my own song ideas on here because I do plan to officially release my songs someday#but then again it's not like many people see my posts so it's fine#just wanna show it to my moots that's all :)#misha talks
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