#I just wanna see if I can broaden my horizons through this (maybe)

[slumbergoblin]

Speaking of music, if you want to, feel free to send me any songs that you guys enjoy^^

[schizosupport]

hi glitch! no pressure about answering, but I don't have any other schizospec people I can talk to, and I need some support

recently I got diagnosed with Other Specified Schizophrenia Spectrum Disorder/Psychotic Disorder, and I'm starting weekly therapy to get a specific diagnosis and treatment, and I have an evaluation with a psychiatrist to look at meds next week.

the thing is, I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. I've gone through my whole life up to this point trusting my sense of reality, and only had a brief period of time when I self diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (never confirmed).

AND I've started to look into medication, and the one i'll probably be prescribed is Ablify, which seems to have a ton of scary side effects. I'm still in school, and while I'm almost certain I can get accommodations, I can't be sure, and adolescents can be cruel.

truth be told, I'm just scared. I see posts about the opportunities taken away from schizospec people, and I haven't been living under a rock, I know all the stigma that surrounds what I know now to be my community.

like I said, no pressure to answer, I just want some advice and support from a more experienced member of the community.

Hello there!

It's been a while since you sent this message. I hope you are feeling at least a bit more settled in the situation?

It's always wild to get a diagnosis that you didn't necessarily expect. For me, my initial "psychosis not otherwise specified" diagnosis also completely blindsided me, and so did the later schizophrenia diagnosis.

It's true that there's a lot of stigma and bullshit surrounding the schizo spec disorders, but I also want to highlight that schizo spec people are awesome, and we're strong and we got each other's backs. In my experience the psychotics and schizos are the underdogs of not only the psychiatric community but also the mental health community. But that also means that you get a unique opportunity to learn who's a true ally, and to practice your own understanding and acceptance of other marginalized experiences on the edges of life. In my experience our community is one of the most compassionate and accepting communities around, probably bc we know intimately what it's like to have weird experiences and be judged for it. Try to navigate towards a place in your head where you align yourself with other marginalized people and don't get caught up in bitterness about a uniquely fucked situation, but instead take it as a sign to be kind above all else and to think about who else in society might be in a similar position, to find your allies and take comfort in unity.

In terms of the stigma, I think something to keep in mind as a newly diagnosed person, is that to the extent that it's possible, you are the owner of the information about your mental health. And you don't owe anyone disclosure. I'm not saying to necessarily always try to be vague, there ARE safe places and safe people and there ARE situations where you might genuinely broaden someone's horizons by introducing them to the notion that "we are here. We're one of you". But there are also plenty of situations where you don't wanna share that information. You can let them assume, you can omit, you can even lie.

People frequently assume that I'm autistic, and I don't correct them. Maybe I'll respond with "something like that" if they ask. Especially in professional settings. Unless you want someone to know, it's none of their business what exactly is your deal.

In terms of medication, the important thing to keep in mind is that it helps some people, but it is also not (shouldn't be) mandatory to take meds because you're schizo spec. You can give it a try, but if it isn't doing anything helpful for you, you are not obligated to take it. The psych might act like you have to and like it would be completely irresponsible not to. Try to take it with a grain of salt. Think about your life so far, the symptoms that have led to this diagnosis. Can you live with that? Do the meds help with that? Are there side effects and are thet worth it?

I take a low dose of antipsychotics myself and I've tried without and with higher doses too. For me at this point in life, a low dose of antipsychotics are helpful to me.

I'm happy to hear that you've been offered therapy!! I hope that it's any good, and that it's been helpful. I definitely think that therapy (with a good therapist) can be instrumental in dealing with psychotic symptoms.

In the end I just wanna say.. it's gonna be ok. I know it's a big scary new thing, but it is also actually "just" a word that's descriptive of symptoms that you already had. This doesn't mean that you are bound to get worse. Try not to panic about looking for new symptoms or symptoms you might've missed. This can make you worse, as you start questioning all of your experiences and whether they are psychotic. It can be little things like questioning every little sensory input. Try to remember that hallucinations aren't inherently harmful and sometimes you don't have to know if it's real or not bc it literally doesn't matter.

It can often be tumultuous when you've just gotten this diagnosis, before you get used to the thought and reestablish your sense of identity and reality with this in mind. But there is a point of peace coming up. It does normally get easier, as you settle into this new understanding. And you can help yourself along by reminding yourself that the only thing that changed is that you were given a word to describe your existing experience.

I hope any of this is helpful. Best of luck, anon,, and welcome to (knowingly being a member of) the community!

[zigglystarduster]

I am currently on my 4th episode of elite and well..Needless to say I have many opinions. Firstly the amount of new things I got to learn about in relationships is definitely fresh and well it's new so I am gonna need some time to figure out if it's good or bad.

Spoilers ahead!! (proceed with caution) ......

Marina’s death has been pretty shocking to me but tbh I don't like her as a person but that doesn’t mean I wanted her dead lol. She's way too deceptive and feels like goody too shoes. I mean all those ppl her brother, her parents they are just trying to help her and protect her and hey I get the whole teenage rebellious phase thing but this is utter stupidity. It is unfortunate that she got HIV positive and well I do sympathize with her but it feels like she just sort of puts herself in dangerous situations deliberately, I am in no way inferring that being with Samuel is wrong or whatever but nano! seriously?! that guy is a walking criminal and she very well knows it than why for god's sake is she with him..it's so messed up I can't- and also the fact that she's basically two timing samuel who btw is an amazing person overall, i don't know what happens later or anything maybe he killed her but so far I like Samuel as a person he's supportive, and makes good out of a bad situation, assertive and his introduction in class..god that was good stuff but anyways yeah so she's swinging both the guys and honestly fuck nano he says the school doesn't deserve Samuel but actually he doesn't. The one girl his brother genuinely cared about who he told him everything about he had to mess with that particular girl..why!!? and got her pregnant! Comeone.. Overall I hate both nano and marina and love Samuel (opinions might change at the end of s1)

Guzman and Nadia.. I love Nadia.. like literally I wanna be her when I grow up she is awesome so far we have seen her actually stand up to bullies, and even thought her cultural issues came up she still continued her education because she knows that right at this point she needs to be educated in order to make a change in the world. girl clearly knows to pick her fights. and the way she doesn't just let Guzman demean her and slither into her heart but instead makes him grovel for it.. that's gold srsly. Guzman so far is a total douche-bag seriously there are no words. he might be going through some shit but he's definitely not handling it in the best way, although I love that he stands up for his friend Ander and marina( one time so far) but I can't really say I like the guy.

ah yes the throuple so Carla, polo and Christian sure make a hot couple this is pointless to deny, at first there relationship seemed a bit weird I mean voyeurism is a popular kink but it just felt as if the two of them had some trouble..*shrugs* anyways this is my first time seeing a story about a throuple so you can call me an Amateur in that regard but I am not a huge fan of the story it seems a bit odd.. (idk if that's a word that perfectly sums it up but..) Since I am new to this I am very much open to broadening my horizons and see where this goes.

Ander and Omar is meh-.. I love Ander but I feel like Omar is a bit fishy but let's see..(Again opinions may vary at the end) .

lu is getting on my nerves srsly what's up with her. the girl has some major mean girl vibes. Ugh

I am sorry if my assessment of marina was a bit harsh..I guess I am being a little too closely looking at her character or something I mean she is after all only a kid.. just to clarify this is just my opinion that too formed after watching just 4 episodes of elite so I might be very wrong for some characters. Don’t get peevish it’s all in good fun. My motive is absolutely not to offend anybody.

and I just found out that marina and nano are actually a couple in real life because godamn but there's absolutely 0 chemistry between them. It’s like what joey tribbiani said guys..it's true. anyways this was my elite update so far. I think I took every main character if I missed anyone we are going to talk about it as soon as I finish my 1st season till then cheers!

[poolpartymusic]

wait i wanna say more!

Okay, I went to the toilet and decided there is more to say:

WHAT DO I WANNA DO WITH MY LIFE?

Maybe caps is a little dramatic, because I am relatively chill about it. My most concerns are with my student debt, but even that is something I'm sure will work out eventually.

"Artificial Intelligence has genuinely interested me, but building smart vacuum cleaners does not sound right to me. Meanwhile, whenever I read someone is interested in film making, I get jealous for their bravery.  But then, the proud that is burning inside of me tells me to go to WO University, to study something useful and secure. I always said I’d rather study something fun than something that would get paid well. I’m aware of what I want to do, but I am insecure. There is no experience in the film industry for me, except for all the years of writing. And then what? Script writing, is that what would make me happy? No, I’d want full control. I’d want to study Film Directing, but we all know I won’t get hired for that. That last statement is something I believe. Even if it is a logical statement, as the only people getting in are about 24 years old and have made shorts, I still miss the key characteristic for making it in the film world. Confidence. I tell myself I’d be willing to work hard, yet mean while I’ve been disappointing myself by surfing through fucking Habbo Hotel in my free time. I’m stuck."

I remember feeling at home at the thought of studying AI at Tilburg University. It was something I did find interesting, but I never realized I didn't even see a future in that work field for myself. At the same time I felt super cheekily excited about filmmaking: It scared me. It saddens me to read that I didn't believe I could ever really become a film director. I went into the film studies so insecure...

And then after two years I switched to Illustration. I do think it was a very good call. If I would've gone through wat film, I wouldn't have learned as much as I have now. Still, I don't want to become an illustrator.

These past months up to maybe two years, I've been telling people I aspire to make short animation films and documentaries, while also making little poetry books with illustrations. And while that is definitely true, I of course am also following an ICT minor right now.

And I realize that pedagogy or psychology is also something I'm interested in. I don't feel like I must make a choice between everything, but I do wanna broaden my horizon and put myself to work.

Therefor, I have two options. Firstly, I can learn more about coding and coding in art. I could make a project where I try to make a game. Secondly, I can spend time learning about child development, psychology and pedagogy. This because I'm considering doing 1.5-2 years of pedagogy work after my studies, just to earn money and try something new.

I think for now, and really I'm just brainstorming along while I'm writing this, I'll just need to make a decision. None is wrong, I can always change.

I do miss writing. I do wanna draw more- And if I decide to do pedagogy after my studies, I'll have to attend classes either way. So maybe let's focus on game making.

Okay. Now, I'll stop ranting here and I'll make a Notion page on which I outline how I want this project to take form.

I'll maybe keep you up to date, though this blog was mainly to talk about more personal struggles. We'll see.

[vivivox]

The Myth of „unromantic“ Overlays in Synastry

A lot of sources claim that there are the „relationship/ love Houses“ when it comes to Synastry Overlays (looking at where the planets of someone else’s Chart fall on your Chart, and vice versa) and then there are those that „only“ indicate friendship, a work relationship or daily business etc.

Classically those „romantic“ Houses are: the 5th (romance), the 7th (partnership) and the 8th (deep intimacy).

When you are very new to Astrology this can dishearten you and make you feel like you don’t stand a chance with a someone just because you don’t tick others „Love Overlay“ boxes.

However:

1. There is no such thing as predetermination. Astrology includes Free Will and Astrology, too, is all about learning, growth of character and the evolution of the Soul. There is no right and wrong and there certainly isn’t „this is how it’s supposed to be, or how it’s not supposed to be“.

2. Astrology isn’t here to „tell you“ who you’re meant for or not meant for. If someone’s planets don’t fall into your 7th House (classical House of marriage) this by no means means that you aren’t compatible in marriage. It just means that maybe there are other factors in your connection that play a bigger role (someone in your 1st House could make you feel good about yourself and give you a sense of identity - who wouldn’t like that?). If you feel like someone is right for you, go for it!

3. In my eyes, while some Houses can be very blunt with showing romantic compatibility, ALL Houses can contribute to attraction and healthy romance and love. This depends on several factors including your personal Charts and your preferences when it comes to love among other things (Aquarius placements usually aren’t the attached at the hip marriage types so they might value someone they have a friendship with (11th House) over someone who gives them the „marriage“ vibes).

Also, just having someone’s planets in your 7th House doesn’t automatically mean you are perfect for each other.

4. Overlays are only one part of the equation. The biggest one, in my eyes and from an astrological point of view, are Aspects. The House Overlays are more background noise (from my experience) and as there are no „unromantic“ Houses they will just set the stage according to the act of the Aspects.

Also, someone might have their DC (7th House) in Cancer while their Sun sign is in Aries. This means they find Cancer placements romantically attractive but will likely clash with them due to their fire Sun. This can go both ways, of course.

Then, there are Combine Charts - but that is another story, and as I myself don’t really use them I will leave this to other people who are more knowledgeable about those kind of Charts :)

—

—

Anyways, in order to state my point I have created a small list.

This goes to show the energy of House x Planet (especially/ mostly Sun, Moon and Venus) in Synastry Overlays.

Usually and from experience, the House person will feel the „effect“ of the planet more while the planet person has a more passive/ reactive role. This means that i.e. if someone’s Sun for falls into your 7th House you will likely see them as a perfect match somehow and feel romantic attraction. They, may or may not feel the same, but are likely to at least notice this and maybe reciprocate just because you approach them in a more romantic manner than other people.

Another example would be that people with personal planets in your 4th House (family) feel very familiar to you and you trust them easily. You are likely to open up to them instantly and you feel at ease with them. In return, they are probably going to let their guard down, too, as they sense this, and behave in a pleasant manner with you.

However this also depends on the Houses from my experience, as well as the Chart natives (someone with the Sun in their 7th might be more prone to cater to other people’s perceptions of them, I.e. when they fall into someone’s 7th House they may be more likely to reciprocate the romantic advances)

Back to the list (I have tried to focus especially on the less classical Houses for romance).

—

PLANET X HOUSE OVERLAYS (Synastry):

☀️ „Boost of Confidence“

1. The planet person will likely make you feel understood, validated and good about yourself.

You might see them as the trophy wife or husband and you might „fangirl“ them.

You are likely to look good together and be the typical dream couple, especially in public.

The planet person here gets a a healthy dose of ego boost (especially with the Sun), too.

🍀 „ Safe and Secure“

2. Usually the planet person will provide in one way or the other for the House Person (financially, emotionally, taking care of them etc). Thus, they give the House person a sense of security, stability and nourishment. The planet person will usually increase the self worth of the House person.

Also, the House person might be very inclined to touch the planet person and this placement can be great for simply hanging around, cuddling and having a cozy time.

This can be great for people who like stability, security and dependability in relationships.

👥 „Same Wavelenght“

3. People with their planets in your 3rd House usually stimulate your curiosity, communication and also social life. They will be someone you love to talk to, share ideas and socialize within a group.

As communication is key this is wonderful to have in a relationship, especially for people with an active mind! Understanding and being understood is just invaluable.

You might have a brother/ sister dynamic - in a good way! Like you just get each other.

👶🏼 “Soul Family“

4. This is an amazing Overlay to have. People in your 4th feel like family to you; they make you feel secure, nurtured and understood. It’s like you’ve known them from before (childhood or a past life even) and they almost always make you feel at ease.

This is also great for having a family together, of course! And it’s said that the planet person likely reminds you of your upbringing, has a similar approach to themes of home, family and the private life, and/or had a similar upbringing or family background and roots.

✨ „Spark and Romance“

5. 5th House overlays are usually lighthearted, fun and playful. They are about attraction and romance but they usually have an air of innocence - like a puppy kind of love!

They get a really good rap because they are usually easygoing but with that spark! It’s usually very flirty and the House person will feel youthful and stimulated when with the planet person.

They usually adore the planet person and make them feel attractive and desirable ..

This is also said to be good to have children together. The planet person may make you wanna pro-create and raise kids together with them.

🍀 „Love Everyday“

6. People from your 6th House can help you so much getting your life together. Just being around them may make you want to sort out your life and they will usually help you with your daily business, work and health (even by just being around). This does get a bad rap but your daily life is actually your DAILY LIFE. Who wouldn’t want to have someone around who is wonderful for them on a daily basis? While 5th House sometimes screams holiday romance, this person is here for you in every situation and you are compatible to be with each other on a day to day basis and share your everyday life.

It’s true that other romantic indicators are needed here but if they’re there this can be an amazing overlay. The planet person usually loves taking care of the House person‘s needs and helping them with their life. They can be very motherly (especially with the Moon and Venus there) in a good way, and they get things done together which can be so helpful when you don’t naturally have that in your Chart.

Also, this is a great overlay for living together and spending time on a daily basis!

💍 „Marry Me“

7. This is the classic „partnership“ House which basically means you are very likely to see the other person as a great match. They likely posesss qualities you value and look for in a relationship and they give you the romantic feels right away. If the other person feels similarly this is a very romantic placement and you are likely to become a couple and/or even get married (which doesn’t mean marriage is only meant for the 7th, like stated above).

🌚 „How deep is your Love“

8. This House is all about intimacy, depth and the soul. It is not as visible as the 7th and /because it usually goes a lot deeper. Someone in your 8th will stimulate your subconscious, the parts of you you didn’t know existed. Usually the planet person makes you feel like they „know“ parts of you no one else does.

They are likely to get under your skin, make you feel like they see right through you and have the ability to transform you somehow. The connection is felt on a „soul level“ and the merging can be very deep and profound. It’s also the House of sexuality but in my eyes that is only an expression of intimacy that this House arouses.

🌅 „Broadening of Horizon“

9. The 9th House is great for having your horizon broadened, your views expanded and a new world to be opened up to you. A person there will likely have an exotic vibe to them, like they have the ability to show you things you didn’t know existed. They may make you feel optimistic and adventurous and it’s a great placement for traveling the world together as well as to talk about everything under the sky, especially world views, spiritual, philosophical and religious matters. They will light up your world!

🥇“Going Places“

10. People in your 10th usually have something going for them that you admire and that if you follow them can get you right where you’re meant to be in life. They can act as a sort of natural authority that you willingly follow and where you never regret doing so because you have an adequate amount of respect for them.

This overlay is amazing for following your life’s path, achieving things and it will usually always contribute to your growth and level of maturity.

It’s a beautiful placement and shouldn’t be limited to „someone helping you with your career“.

Your relationship could be in the public eye somehow, also.

👫 “Best Friends and Lovers“

11. Whoever said friendship isn’t love? Many times you will read that this is the classical „friend zone“ overlay placement but who said lovers shouldn’t be friends or friends shouldn’t be lovers?

It’s true that if there are not so many other romantic indicators between the Charts (Venus/Moon, Mars/Venus etc) you are more likely going to see them on a platonic level but that doesn’t necessarily exclude other instances.

Some people value friendship over everything and all they want in a relationship is a partner in crime who is their best buddy!

You are likely to share ideals and more often than not a similar social circle which can be so great because who doesn’t love having your lover in the same friends group!

🌊 „Soul Connection“

12. Having a prominent Neptune in my Chart I have never understood how some people could view this placement as unfortunate.

With the 12th House Overlay you have a spiritual, otherworldly and soul connection to the other person that includes a selfless kind of love and karmic / soul ties (which def aren’t bad!).

You can likely sense what the other person feels and can easily connect through dreams. This placement is ethereal. The planet person will usually shed light on the hidden parts of the House person and help them heal.

—

—

Thanks for reading and always love to hear your feedback, guys 😊☺️

Credit:

@vivivox

[kaitycole]

Love Two: the hard love

Summary: Miya Atsumu is an adventure and a half which is exciting for you after a mundane high school relationship. But what price has to be paid in order for you to be in his world?

Parings: Atsumu x Reader

Word Count: 7187 (my apologies)

Warnings: Angst. Toxic relationship tropes. Toxic behaviors. Slight physical violence (towards the end - it’s a wrist grab and a slap). Adult language.

Rating: 16+

A/N: This series is based on an article that talks about how in live, most of us experience three types of love. I’ll link the article in the series master post for anyone who wants to read it!

Golden yellow hair.

Chocolate brown eyes.

Burnt cinnamon cologne.

These images burn into your mind as tears sting your dry eyes. You swallow hard, trying to get the lump in your throat to dislodge but it only reminds you of how dry your throat is, how sore it is from screaming. Your head lays heavy on your pillow, a dull ache wraps around your head and you aren’t sure if it’s from the alcohol or the crying you’ve done over the last three days.

You two had a fight, another fight, the same old fight. You screamed, he brushed it off, leaving in a rush and slamming the door while you slid down the doorframe, sobbing. You thought that you’d be used to this, the constant up and downs that came with loving Miya Atsumu, the rollercoaster of emotions that came with the cycle of being together, breaking up and then getting back together. You’d been doing it for three years now, on and off again, but never being off for long before he dragged you back into his arms, not that you ever refused.

Your head hangs to the side as you slowly push yourself off the floor, your body too tired after fighting to climb into your bed the night before. For a moment you consider crawling down the hall before your pride takes over as you stand up, legs stiff but wobbly at the same time as your feet drag you to the couch in the living room. You aren’t sure what time it is, your eyes slowly adjusting to the large amount of sunlight coming into the apartment, the apartment he surprised you with and you had loved, now it felt like a prison.

Your phone starts buzzing and when you look, there’s several notifications from your two best friends Kaneko Yua and Higashi Naoki. You shuffle to the kitchen, grabbing a cup as you perch your phone between your shoulder and cheek, filling you cup with tap water.

“Y/N! Where are you?” Yua’s voice is too loud for the linger ache in your head, you jerk the phone from your ear to turn the volume down.

You chug down the ice-cold water that does nothing to remove the dryness from your mouth or throat, it’s as if it’s been coated in a thick layer of cotton. “Apartment.”

She’s silent for a minute, you can hear her mumbling to someone next to her. There’s a muffled sound coming from her end before a new voice comes through the line, fresh tears prick your eyes when you recognize it’s Naoki.

“We’re coming over, don’t leave.”

*                      * Three years ago

Your high school days had been filled with volleyball matches, practices, tournaments and while you have no ill feelings towards the sport or the boy who brought it into your life, you just hoped university would broaden your horizons.

Yet here you stood at a MSBY Fan Greet, your younger brother all but vibrating with excitement as he waited to get his overprice photograph signed by his favorite team. You previously made plans to hang-out with Yua over the spring break, but since your parents both couldn’t take him, your brother guilted you with the  “but I miss hanging out with you” card and puppy dog eyes.

“For you.” His accent coats his words, passing you small folded piece of paper before your brother makes his way down the line to the next player for an autograph, tugging at your pants for you to follow his lead.

** “Wanna get something from the vending machine before the next class?” Yua asks. Kaneko Yua became your friend when you both started university last year, the two of you quickly became the best of friends even though the only interests you share is in your shared Art History major.

“I’m done for the day.” You tilt your head, smiling right before you stick your tongue out at her.

She throws her head back, groaning as you continue to walk, “how’d you get such a good schedule.”

“Told you to take those early morning classes.” You wink before running into her as she suddenly stops. “Yua-ch—”

Golden yellow hair and a cocky smile catch your attention as he leans against a flash sports car in the library parking lot. Yua looks at you, her eyes wide, you had mentioned that you got his number a few weeks ago to her, but that nothing but short conversation came from the exchange which only lasted a few days.

“Y/N!” He calls out to you, obnoxiously waving one arm up in the air to catch your attention, it does, along with the rest of the student body that’s outside.

He starts walking over to you and Yua, pulling off his sunglasses you see that dark chocolate eyes that captured your (e/c) ones just weeks ago. Your heart is thumping against your chest as he quickly closes that gap that has been between you, a short arm’s distance away from him. You can smell his cologne, it’s a strong smell, something similar to burnt cinnamon being carried by the wind the circles around you.

Yua looks at you for answers but you couldn’t give her any if you even tried. You find yourself swallowed whole by his dark eyes, feeling like you’re about to sink. “M-Miya-san?”

“Atsumu.” He smirks, “sorry for just showing up. I was in the neighborhood and thought we could go get something to eat. You aren’t busy, are you?”

“No, she’s not.” Yua nudges your arm, bringing you back to reality, “she’s actually all finished for the day.”

“What do you say? Will you come with me?” He reaches out his hand and you almost immediately take it and maybe you should’ve been more cautious, after all this wasn’t like it was in high school.

** The first few months with Atsumu are blissful, perfect and you start to wonder if this is what you were missing back with Ushijima. Every day with Atsumu is an adventure, you never know what to expect which is a sharp contrast to that same day everyday feeling you had back in high school. He keeps you on your toes and you love it, you eat it up, spending all your free time with him and it shows when you get back a test with a failing mark.

“Budding romances aren’t the most important thing in life, Y/N.” Your professor speaks low when he places the paper on the desk, he doesn’t have to tell you how he feels about it, disappointment drips from his words.

Atsumu didn’t offer much help on the subject either, simply shrugging at it and telling you that there’s always the next test. “Let’s go out.” “I really should study, ‘Tsumu.” You tilt your head back to look up at him, he’s sitting on the couch behind you.

He says your name, dragging out each syllable, “it’s the last night I can. I have an away game that I leave for on Friday.”

“You didn’t tell me that.” “Must have forgot.” He looks down at his phone, “coming or not?”

You know that you shouldn’t have gone, that studying is more important, but him leaving meant that you’d be apart for the first time and he had that lopsided pout on his face, so you agree. Grabbing your jacket and following him out the door as he drapes an arm around you, “I can always count on you.”

*                      * Two years and four months ago

“I’m gonna kill him!” Yua shouts as she walks into your dorm room. She practically ran from her part-time job in the library to your dorm when you called her, unable to talk from crying so loudly. While she took the elevator up to your room, she managed to see the text explaining the cause of your distress and is fuming.

“You’ll…go…to jail.” You finally manage to spit out, the sobs and hiccups breaking up your words as you wipe your running nose on your sweatshirt sleeve. Usually Yua would scold you, telling you just how disgusting that it, but tonight she just sits next to you, letting you lean on her shoulder.

She gently rubs your arm as she wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to her side, “maybe I’ll key that fancy car of his.”

“I think it’s his brother’s.”

“Deflate his balls!”

“Yua!”

“Volleyballs, get your head out of the gutter.” She smiles when you let out a small laugh. She leans her head down on yours and you are thankful that you’re close enough for the silence to be comfortable, for certain things to be left unsaid.

*                      * Two years and two months ago

The next few weeks seem to drag by, each day seemingly longer than the last. Yua has all but moved into your dorm, refusing to leave your side for more than the duration of classes. With her there, you realize even more that your phone hasn’t gone off, there’s no surge of messages coming through from a certain setter. Things take a bit of a turn when you hear a nearby conversation, two girls gushing about some famous model getting into a relationship to a volleyball player.

But it’s that said volleyball player’s name that anchors your feet to the ground, that name that echoes in your ears while your lungs struggle to take in the air you want to force into them.

Miya Atsumu

Yua essentially banned the use of his name or anything related to him into your life and for better or worse you’ve both manage to uphold it, especially seeing how with his newest brand deal, his face is everywhere just like Michael Jordan’s was in the U.S. during the 90’s. Somehow, you manage to avoid it, until now when your body seems to act on its own and you’re sudden reading several headlines confirming the match.

*                      * Two years ago

“Are you sure you’ll be okay alone?” Yua looks at you, worry etched on her expression, “I don’t have to go to this guest speaking event.”

“Yua, you’ve been talking about this for weeks, you’re going.”

“Promise to call if you need me to come back? I’m only going to Tokyo, so I can get back within three hours.”

“Yes, yes, I promise.” You make a “shoo” gesture with your hand, walking towards her as she picks up her back to leave. You pull her into a quick hug, reassuring her that everything will be fine for one weekend.

** You let out a dramatic sigh, towel drying your hair as you walk out of the bathroom and towards your bed.

8PM on a Friday and I’m getting ready for bed, lame.

You’re slipping on a pair of fuzzy socks when the music you’ve been playing gets interrupted by a phone call. Within much thought, assuming it’s Yua, you answer, only to stop in your tracks when a familiar and husky voice calls your name.

“Y/N!” Each syllable of your name is drawn out with a slight lag, a telltale sign that he’s intoxicated.

If Yua was there, she would tell you to just hang up and block the number, that you had been doing better lately and should just let someone else deal with it, but Yua isn’t there and you feel that it must mean something if you had been the one he called.  Drunken words are sober thoughts, right?

His drunken voice and repeated plea of your name is enough to melt you, enough to make you throw all rational thought out the window, quickly throwing on a hoodie, rushing to the address he barely slurred out.

Fortunately, the restaurant he is at isn’t too far from your dorm, however it is embarrassing when you walk in and could hear him across the room, shouting for you.

“Atsumu.”

He quickly turns to you, that sloppy grin of his piercing you in the heart as he stumbles over to throw his arms around you. The scent of alcohol hits you before he does, leaving you to wonder just how much he’s had as you stagger backwards a bit before steadying the both of you. You just barely get the both of you to a cab, his constant swaying challenging you until you’re able to shove him in the vehicle, hesitating when asked where they were taking you. You didn’t know where he was staying these days, you still weren’t sure what he was doing in Kyoko, so you settle for the only address you know to go.

** “Are you serious?” Yua shouts, all but pulling out her hair.

Three weeks. That’s how long Atsumu had been back in your life and how long your best friend had been in the dark about it. You wanted to tell her about the night Atsumu called drunk, but felt it was best to do it in person since it was such a touchy subject, but when she got back, she was still so excited about the speaker and to tell you about it, you lost your nerve.

Then as the days continued to go by, you kept coming up with a reason not to tell her. What you weren’t expecting was her for to just show up out of the blue or for a fresh out of the shower Atsumu to answer the door. You felt confrontation coming and that was something you weren’t a huge fan of.

“I know it looks bad, but I can explain.”

Yua shakes her head, her lips in a straight line, foot tapping on the tile flooring. “This is why you’ve been cutting classes and missing assignments.”

“I don’t see how this is your business at all.” Atsumu glances over at Yua, an amused smirk on his lips, “jealousy doesn’t suit you, sweetheart.”

Yua turns abruptly on her heel, storming out of the dorm room and when you grab her arm, there’s tears in her eyes when she turns to face you.

“He’s changed, Yua.” There’s such a hopeful look on your face, an expression that screams that you actually believe him.

She drags her arm across her eyes, wiping away the tears, “why can’t you see he’s not good for you!”

*                      * 1 year and 10 months ago

The shuffling of your peers is lost on you, motionlessly staying in your seat as all of those around you practically bolt out after the 55 minutes long public speaking class. Your eyes are trained on the board in front of you but the notebook on your desk is unopened, your pen still capped.

It takes a few moments for you to notice the weight of the hand on your shoulder and the back and forth motion it's pushing you in. Shaking your head, you snap out of whatever daze you’ve been in and look over to see Naoki with a concerned expression on his face.

“Do you need to see the nurse?”

You shake your head, “oh, no. I was just thinking.”

He raises an eyebrow at the quick smile you throw his way before he sighs, giving into your excuse, even after only knowing each other a few months, Naoki knew when to just let things go.

“Good morn—You aren’t Yua.” You stopped your greeting when you noticed the shuffling at the chair next to you wasn’t Yua but someone you’d never seen before.

“Oh no, sorry. I’m Higashi Naoki, I just transferred here.” He gave you a big bright smile, extending his hand out.

“Uh, oh, hello.” You felt embarrassment creep up the back of your neck as you awkwardly shook his hand. Luckily your phone vibrated, allowing you to focus your attention to something else other than the rather attractive brunette sitting next to you.

You read the words on the screen, somewhat understood the meaning of them but your mind kept going back to the warm orange brown eyes that looked at you with such kindness. They reminded you of the way you felt back in high school, the way that Ushijima made sure you always felt: safe.

To your surprise, Yua had already met Naoki, they shared the glass before this one and Yua was actually excited that you two had ended up meeting. After that, the three of you were fast friends, almost as if you had all been friends for years rather than just several weeks. But not everyone was excited for your new friendship and he had no problem being very vocal about it.

Atsumu wasn’t keen on the friendship when he randomly showed up to the campus one day, seeing the two of you sitting outside, laughing. You had to run after him, he took off without letting you even introduce Naoki, trying to tell him that he was just a friend, but Atsumu seemed to already have his mind made up on what was what.

A week later, after not hearing from Atsumu you got a message from him telling you that he needed to dedicate himself more to his team, his career and being in a relationship with you just wasn’t it.

“You can copy my notes during lunch, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Nao-chan!” You smile up at him while shoving your things into your backpack. He clears his throat, blush spreading across his cheeks as he turns away from you.

** Professor A: Missing Assignments

Professor B: Make-up Test Notice

Professor C: Mandatory Advisor Meeting

XMail: Unread Messages (12)

You feel a pit in your stomach, not wanting to read the emails, already knowing the disappointed messages they held. You hadn’t been your best self lately especially when it came to your studies and had several unfinished assignments and 0’s in the gradebook. It wasn’t like this was the first time you and Atsumu had been broken up but for some reason, each time felt worse than the previous time.

Leaning back, you let out a deep sigh as you glance around at the boxes that liter the room. After you and Atsumu broke up the most recent time, Yua managed to convince you to move into her off-campus apartment. At first you didn’t like the idea, not wanting to be a burden to her or cause anyone to think anything of her with you living with her, but she wouldn’t heard anything but yes. She told you that she had the space (her parents insisted on getting her a two bedroom even though it was just her) and it was easier for her to keep an eye on you.

There are still some things that are in boxes, mostly things from Atsumu that you didn’t want to toss out, but didn’t think should be on display either. Plus, with all the catching up you had to do, there wasn’t much time for anything else especially with the schedule that Yua had made for you. The two of you shared most classes, so she had all the notes and study guides you needed and to be honest, it helped keep your mind off a certain MSBY setter.

BZZT!

Nao-chan: I’m heading up, let me in! (1:42PM)

A smile spreads across your face, pushing yourself from the desk and quickly slipping out of your room and towards the door. By the time you open it, you see him walking up the hallway and he flashes you his signature smile when his eyes meet yours.

“Nao-chan!” You crash into him, wrapping him into a hug, one that he returns effortlessly.

“What have I done to get such a warm welcome?”

“I can’t just miss you?” You tilt your head when you look up at him, stepping away from him to look him in the eye. You hold back a laugh when you see his face turn red, turning his face away from you before mumbling something along the lines of “yeah, no, that’s fine.”

You bring back two cups of juice (Yua refused to let soda into the apartment) and notice that Naoki seems to be nervous, wringing his hands together and looking down at the ground which is different that he usually acts.

“Nao-chan, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, uhm, well I wanted to ask you something.” He makes eye contact with you and you nod for him to continue, “I bought these and thought we could go together.”

He pulls something out of the inside pocket of his jacket, passing it to you and for a second your blood runs cold, eyes scanning over the item picking up the word ‘volleyball’. By the warmth suddenly on your arm, you could tell that Naoki sensed your discomfort.

“Forget it, it was a dumb idea.”

“No! It’s not, it’s just…uhm…”

“I just thought that it might be a good way to get out of the apartment and it’s an Adlers’ game so maybe you’d seen your friend.”

You scrunch your brows together before looking back at the tickets. It was for a game between the Schweiden Adlers and Tachibana Red Falcons, a smile spread across your face, a mix of excitement to see Ushijima play again (his play style is still one of your favorites) but also that Naoki remembered these little facts about you.

“I’d love to go. I’ll call Ushijima and tell him we’ll be there!” You give him a quick hug, rushing to your room to get your phone, leaving a smiling Naoki behind.

** Naoki smiles watching you all but vibrate as you wait in line to go into the gym. The game had been all you talked about for the last two weeks, eager to get out of the apartment for anything other than classes or your on-campus job. You spent most of your free time telling Naoki just how amazing Ushijima is on the court and how he had already asked to meet Naoki, who seemed a bit nervous when you mentioned that.

“I didn’t know you liked watching volleyball, Nao-chan. Did you play in school?”

“Oh, uh no. The person I’m interested in likes it, so I thought I’d learn more about it.” He hands over the tickets, the two of you being ushered into to the building. His shoulder brushes yours due to the large amount of people all in the crowed hallway.

“I didn’t know you had your eye on someone! I’ll teach you all I know about volleyball so you can impress them!” You beam a huge smile at Naoki before your attention is pulled to the other side of the hallway. “Nao-chan! Let’s get t-shirts!”

He follows you as you drag him towards a table set up with shirts to memorialize the game. You intended to get matching ones, but due to size differences, you had a settle with a white shirt for you and a black on for Naoki. After you reluctantly let him pay, the two of you make your way to the gym, Ushijima had seats held for the two of you.

Once the whistle blew, you were back in your element, a huge smile on your face watching Ushijima command the court just like he had been for as long as you could remember. For the first time in years, you feel light and free, happier than you can remember being. Ushijima catches your eye at some point during the second set and you eagerly wave to him, giving him that same toothy grin you did as kids.

** “Toshi!” You barely give him time to turn around, running straight into him as you throw your arms around him, both Toshi and Naoki chuckle at the fact you managed to knock Toshi off balance for a few seconds.

“Y/N.” He pulls you into his broad chest and if you hadn’t known him for years, you wouldn’t believe that this tall and muscular man was the same boy who ran around with a watering can that was almost as big as him. “I’m glad you came today, it’s been a while.”

“Since high school.” You bite your lower lip and notice that Toshi squeezes your arm, a gesture he’d do to comfort you. He gives you a reassuring wink, letting you know that there’s no hard feelings about the past before he looks over at Naoki, “are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?”

“Oh no! No, no, no.” You stumble over your words, frantically waving your hands around.

“I’m Higashi Naoki, nice to meet you.”

“Nao-chan is just a friend.”

Linking your arm with his, you look back at him and see his smile drop for a split second before it reappears while shaking hands with Ushijima but that quickly leaves your mind when you see a familiar poof of orange hair. But before you can take the time to figure out who he is, you hear an accent that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to forget.

“Just friends, huh?”

Your eyes widen in horror, immediately turning and seeing the familiar sight of golden yellow hair walking away from you.

“Y/N—” Naoki reaches out to grab your arm, but you’ve already started running after Atsumu, calling out his name as you rushed to catch up to him, weaving through the crowded hallways.

“Tsumu!” You finally grab ahold of his wrist, trying to pull him back but instead he just yanks you forward as he tries to get his arm away from you.

“Don’t call me that.” His tone is icy with an expression that matches, “why are you even here?”

“I came to see Tos—Ushijima.”

“I mean why are you here talking to me, you are clearly on a date with what’s his face.”

“Nao-chan? We’re just friends, it was just to get out of the apartment and have fun.” Your voice is trembling, bottom lip quivering listening to the harsh tone of his voice.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you were all over him, just stop lying.”

“No! I wasn’t.” The tears you’ve been trying to hold back now slip down your cheeks, you couldn’t figure out why he was acting like this especially when you were broken up.

“I never thought you’d end up like all those other girls, just another pig wanting to date me for status.”

Your heart is pounding loudly in your ears that you don’t hear whatever else he mumbled before turning and walking away, your arm weakly reaches out to him before your knees hit the vinyl flooring. After several moments pass, you feel someone pull you up and wrap their arms around you, the familiar scent of men’s body wash washes over you.

“Thank you.” You choke out, the comforting embrace causing more tears to fall.

“Best friends forever, right?”

*                      * 1 year and 3 months ago

“Are people looking at me?”

“Huh?” Yua raises an eyebrow as she looks over at you.

“There’s a psychology term for that feeling, it’s called spotlight effect.” Naoki says, trying to reassure you that no one’s looking.

“No, I think she’s right.” Yua stretches an arm out in front of him, causing him to stop walking before you drop your backpack on the ground, shocked.

Atsumu is standing on campus, wearing a suit, carrying a stupidly large bouquet of flowers, going around asking where you are, all but shouting your name to the sky. Part of you wants to disappear, of course he’d choose to stand in the middle of campus, catching everyone’s attention.

You trip slightly over your bag, marching towards him, barely hearing Naoki calling after you before Atsumu’s attention snaps to you, his eyes locking in on yours.

“Y/N!” Gleefully, he scurries towards you, handing the bouquet to you, it’s heavier than you thought it’d be.

“Atsumu, what are you doing?”

“I want, no, I need to talk to you.” He drops down to his knees and you can hear the increase of hushed tones, you glance back to see a very confused Yua and Naoki wears a horrified expression. “I’d like to try again, please.”

“Atsumu…”

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

“Okay, okay, just…please get up. People are staring.” You try to hide your face behind the flowers, the pure embarrassment causing your face to burn.

He pushes himself off the ground, grabbing your hand as he pulls you towards the faculty parking lot. It doesn’t feel like you are in your own body, your legs moving to keep up with him before he stops.

Once again, he drops down to his knees, grabbing your hands with his, pleading with you to listen to him, to believe that he really means it when he tells you that he’s changed, asking you for just one more shot. For most of his speech, you look at the top of his head, seeing that the golden yellow is being overtaken by his natural dark brown roots, your fingers twitch, wanting to run through his hair. It’s when you finally lock eyes with him that you see the tears that line them, a single one slipping down his cheek from the corner of his right eye.

“I shouldn’t have come.” He wipes his eyes, sniffling a bit. He squeezes your hands before he stands up, letting you go. “I’m sorry for doing this you.”

There’s no way to explain it, but he seems different and suddenly you want to see this new him, to be the one that gets to be part of this new and mature Atsumu. Throwing all your sense out the window, pushing the rational and logical voices of Yua and Naoki to the back of your head, you wrap your arms around him, pressing your face into his back and you can feel his heart pounding in his chest.

“Don’t go.”

*                      * 9 months ago

“Y/N! Door!”

Still in the process of buttoning your shirt, you poke your head out of your room, “I’m almost done, can you get it, please?”

Yua and Naoki share a look, when you had told them you decided to get back with Atsumu they weren’t shy about telling you how they were against it, that as your friend they hated seeing you so hurt, but they also told you that they weren’t just going to leave you either. It had been an unspoken rule that when it came to all things Atsumu (including opening the door) that they didn’t want to be part of it, for you to keep that part of your life away, unless he did something to hurt you.

Naoki reluctantly gets up, you can tell by the way he sluggishly walks his way towards the door. Dipping back into your room, you finish getting ready, grabbing your phone and sweater before pulling the door shut behind you.

You hear the door slam shut and look to see an irritated Naoki, “where’s Tsumu?” Naoki goes to speak, but you don’t give him a chance, instead just rush out of the apartment.

“Tsumu! Tsumu!” You shout out to him, barely catching his attention as he presses the button for the elevator. “Where are you going?”

He clenches his fist; the gesture catches your eye. “Home. I didn’t sign up to be humiliated tonight.” He looks at you, a type of rage in his eyes that you’ve never seen before and you aren’t sure what could’ve happened to make him so upset. Since he showed up on campus, begging for another chance eh always made sure to be open about his feelings.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You have to tell me, Tsumu.”

“I just don’t like him being in your apartment.��

The elevator dings, doors opening and just as he goes to step into it, you pull back on his arm, pleading with him to stay, tears filling your eyes. He jerks his arm from your grip, not that you were holding on that tightly, and he steps into the elevator.

You aren’t sure why your relationship is like this, why it has so many ups and downs, why it hurts this much. You aren’t sure why being with Atsumu is so hard, why it feels like all you see is his back while he walks away from you, leaving you broken each time. In high school, you hated the almost boring way each day with Ushijima felt, but in this moment, you’d give anything for that because at least back then you felt safe and knew where you stood.

*                      * 5 months ago

For the last four months, Atsumu spoiled you rotten with daily gifts and elaborate dates. You received a flower a day, it was the flower of your birth month, boxes of your favorite candies, along with cards that had some romantic quote in them.

For dates, he takes you to the best restaurants, buys out move theatres, flies you to various parts of Japan to not only watch his games, but to show you around. When you’re together, he actually listens to you, takes his time to finally get to ask you about your upbringing, family, and where you see yourself in five years. He shows you how he’s remembered things you don’t like and even the things that you do and for the first time in the two plus years you’ve known him, it feels like things are starting to even out, that all the turmoil might just be over.

** “Do you like it?” His accent drips from his words, you’ve noticed the accent gets thicker when he’s either nervous or excited.

You glance around the empty apartment, a bit confused as why you’re standing in the middle of it. You thought that Yua apartment was big, considering it had two bedrooms, but this seems to be even bigger than hers. The large windows allow an abundance of natural light and you really do like that.

“It’s a really nice apartment.” You smile as he walks over to you, pulling you into his toned chest, his chin on your forehead.

“I’m glad, it’s yours.”

You pull back, shock written all over your expression, too many thoughts racing through your mind for you to form a sentence. Atsumu did a lot of crazy things, did a lot of spur of the moment things, but this, this really did top them all. “What?”

He shrugs, digging in his pocket before placing a key in your hand, he looks a bit scared to you. “It’s just…my lease was up and I know it’s a bit further from campus than Yua’s, but I was thinking you’d like to live here…with me.”

Without any hesitation, you throw your arms around Atsumu, repeatedly saying “yes” as you awkwardly bounced up and down. When you pull back, he cups your face in his hands, bringing you closer for a kiss.

You can’t stop smiling, eagerly nodding your head as Atsumu talks about furniture and getting your things boxed to be moved, not really hearing anything because all you can think of is that things are finally going to work out between the two of you and that’s why your heart is thumping against your chest.

*                      * 3 months ago

Two months.

8 weeks.

60.8 days.

That’s how long your relationship of bliss lasted, how long you saw the caring and loving version of Atsumu, the side of him that stole your heart even after months and years of back and forth, ups and down, on and off.

You hate it because things were going so well, everything was perfect, even better than how great things had been with Ushijima back in high school. What you hate even more is the fact that while you had been packing up your things, you said some not so nice things to Yua, telling her that she was wrong about him, that this time things were going to work out. You had all but bragged and even hit below the belt with saying she was just jealous that she didn’t have someone that loved her the way Atsumu loves you.

Nine times out of ten you’re alone in this apartment, your music on the highest volume isn’t loud enough to fill the silence that creeps through the rooms and wraps around you and when the silence gets to you, you’re forced to think about things you’d rather not. Like how right Yua had been, how Naoki was only looking out for you, how every time you got back together with Atsumu, it just seemed to hurt worse than the time before.

During that one time of ten that Atsumu is home, the two of you just fight, you fight about everything really; your classes, his games, your friends, his friends and now that you’re all but isolated from your friends, it just makes things worse. You’ve always hated comparing the two, Ushijima to Atsumu, knowing both relationships are/were different, but recently, you’ve wondered if repeating the same day over and over, if that almost suffocating comfort, you wonder if that would be easier to live with now when looked at next to the way your current relationship has been.

*                      * Atsumu flips his phone face down, muting it after it had begun to ring, turning his attention back to the movie the two of you were watching.

You scoff, pushing yourself off his side to lean against the other side of the sofa.

“Don’t start.”

“Start what? I was just getting more comfortable.”

“Cut the shit. You always do this.”

You roll your eyes, already irritated. “Did you want me to leave the room so you could call her back?”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about.” He pushes himself off the couch, shaking his head as he storms into the kitchen.

You reach across the couch, swiping his phone from the armrest, trying to get into it, but no surprise he’s once against changed the passcode. You’re fuming at this point, shoving yourself off the couch before you start to walk to your room. You were done, have been done with all of this.

His hand tightly wraps around your wrist and jerks you backwards towards him. He starts yelling, demanding that you give him back his phone and the anger in you takes over and you throw it across the room. You start to scream about how you’re done, you’re tired and don’t deserve to feel this miserable. He yells back telling you that he’s giving you things anyone would be thankful to have and you smack him with your free hand.

He freezes, dropping your wrist as he runs his fingers through his hair, the expression on his face is something you’ve never seen and without another word, he storms out of the apartment.

You didn’t see him for three weeks, if it hadn’t been for his teammates Hinata and Bokuto stopping by, you wouldn’t have known that he’s okay and has been staying with them. When he does come back, he has a long-winded apology and a large bouquet of flowers. He falls to his knees in the door way, telling you that he’s sorry, that he can’t believe his actions and that he swears that he’ll do better.

*                      * Present Day

When you open the door, Yua throws her arms around you, pulling you into a comforting embrace and you feel yourself start to sob again. She holds you up as your knees get weak, letting the exhaustion take over you as you inhale her familiar perfume.

Naoki slightly pushes by the two of you, angrily making his way through the apartment, brows scrunched into a scowl. You watch as he flings open every door, stomping through each room before he walks back to you, rage radiating off of him. “Where the fuck is he?”

You’re startled, panicking you look up at Yua who wraps her arm around your neck and pulls you back into her, your face pressing just below the top of her shoulder.

“Obviously not here, so chill out.”

She ushers you over to the couch, Naoki handing you the throw blanket to wrap around yourself as you finally catch your breath. You lean your head on the back of the couch, it just adds pressure to your headache, but you’re having a hard time opening up to your friends.

“How’d you know something was wrong?” You slowly lift your head up, looking between the two of them, your face turning red when you hear that you called Naoki repeatedly around 2AM, leaving incoherent voicemails where they only picked up on the words: fight, Atsumu and leave.

“I really think you should move back in with me.” Yua speaks with caution, knowing how sensitive the topic is.

You just nod, defeatedly. You’re more upset about failing to maintain the relationship than you are that the relationship is over. Part of you wants to know why you put yourself through so much to prove you could stay with him, was it because you didn’t want your previous break-up to mean nothing? That if you could make this one work then you weren’t an awful person for ending things with Ushijima for an almost comical reason?

“Just pack what you have to have and we’ll replace whatever you don’t bring and need, okay?” Naoki gives you a small smile before Yua stands up telling you that she’ll grab your things from the bathroom and Naoki can get the things throughout the living room.

Roughly half an hour later, you have most of the things you brought, minus any gifts that Atsumu gave you, but you can’t seem to step through the threshold. Yua and Naoki are standing in the hallway waiting, but you’re afraid to make the step because all of a sudden it symbolizing a bigger commitment that you intended. Once you step out of the apartment, once you shut the door and drop the key in the box, you’re officially shutting the Miya Atsumu chapter of your life and that shakes you to the core.

“Y/N, you’re going to be okay. We’re right here. I’m right here.” Naoki reaches out his hand and you decide to take that leap, grabbing on to his hand like a lifeline. Your knees are wobbly as you place one foot into the hallway, straddling the threshold. “C’mon, just one more step. I got you.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, frantically taking that last step before throwing your arms around Naoki, repeatedly saying “I did it!” He puts his hand on the back of your head, pressing you into him, telling you that he’s proud of you.

You take one last look into the apartment that for some reason now fills small, it feels different, like you no longer belong there and while you’re still terrified of letting go of the rope that ties you and Atsumu together, there’s something exhilarating about starting over. Your eyes are closed as you pull the door shut and when you turn and open them, you see proud smiles on both Yua and Naoki’s faces and you couldn’t help but be excited for this next chapter.

Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

Interested in the rest of the series? –> Series Masterlist

Interested in other works? –> Masterlist

[atticuscortes]

"Oh, if you're up for the task, she says." Atticus scoffs, sliding Kalina's drink closer for the taking. "You know, you might have everyone else fooled with this nice and shy act, but I see right through you, sweetheart. I know a shark out for blood when I see one."

He winks and grins around the rim of his own glass. He can practically feel the heat radiating from her cheeks, though that could have just as well been from the sheer amount of bodies packed in so tightly around them. Atticus hovers his free hand between Kalina's shoulder blades to guide them out of the way of the line for the bar.

"We all love Dolly." She could say that again. "We weren't big on country growing up in my house, but I got a little into it during high school. Mostly the newer stuff though, so maybe tonight I can broaden my horizons a bit. You got anything you wanna request from the DJ before you wipe the floor with me?"

@screamqueen-slater

“ especially an old west ghost story? There’s something weirdly intriguing about those because you know the spirits have to restless form back then” she knew all the good and the bad when it came to that time period and the fact that there had to be some interesting stories tied to that point in history.

Kalina got instantly red at the mention of it being a challenge. She hadn’t meant for it to come out that way but it was kind of true, she rarely dance with people who knew what they were doing save one or two persons. She was just being honest, but as she looked at Atticus her smile only grew. “ I wasn’t trying to make it one, but if you’re up to the task I wouldn’t refuse “ she added

She definitely needed the drink though first because she always had this nervous energy when it came to dancing or being possibly seen by others. She always straddled that like of wanting to be invisible and being seen. “ I guess I’m more in the lover camp. I like a lot of old country or country by women. We all love Dolly. I think there’s something that can be so tragic and a little haunting with older country songs “ @atticuscortes

[virtueangel]

Gently places my froggy feet right in your ask box

OKAY SO I’ve been meaning to request JFK but I held off bc I thought there’d be a lot so I 😳

I Have Arrived! Aye aye captain.

So,,! If I could, I’d like to request a JFK x Reader!! Yuh yuh,,,,

I’m an INFP! I’m really reserved and don’t enjoy starting the conversation first with strangers. But if I’m forced to, I can at least dish out responses to them pretty okay! I’d like to say I’m pretty happy, or act it! But, irl, I more so act- annnnxious, quiet, and- probably sAD AJHAKFHAJ-.

I use They / Them pronouns, and I’m a Freshmen. :)!

I tend to draw, in- a lot of mediums, too! I also like taking photos of stuff, and I’d like to maybe be a photographer someday. I also like helping people!! I may not be able to go entirely out of my way to do it, but when I can; I do! :D

So,, I’d like to request sorta a strangers to friends to crushing / lovers?? Just how that’d vaguely go, if that’s okay!! If not, I’m perfectly content with anything you can come up with :)!!

I hope your day / night goes well!! :D

okay i don’t wanna sound like that one teacher who shames everyone else by telling one person they did a good job, but this request is so perfectly specific i just- thank you. you answered all the guidelines. i love this. thank you anon. 

JFK With an Anxious/Quiet Reader

(strangers to friends to crushing to lovers)

Strangers

JFK probably wouldn’t notice them at first. He’s too busy in his own little world to notice the quiet and artsy kid. They have a few classes together (like math and everything that’s by level instead of grade), but they sit on opposite sides of the room so they never really interact or even look at each other. 

JFK mistakenly got placed in a photography class for his junior elective even though he signed up to be in something else, but it actually proves to be an enjoyable experience because of who he met there. JFK and this person -- surprise surprise -- get partnered up for a project together, and that’s how they initially meet. The course level that JFK got placed in was way too high for him, so he lets his partner take the lead. They teach JFK the basics of photography, and they take JFK around the city to take pictures just for some practice. 

JFK doesn’t learn that fast, but he still tries really hard. His partner is really patient with him, and is glad that they have a topic to talk to JFK about. They aren’t good at small talk, so having an area of expertise that they can focus on really helps ease the initial awkwardness. 

Friends

JFK learns that this person is actually really cool, and starts hanging out with them outside of class. He tries to be discreet about it so people don’t start questioning him, but he waves to them in the hallways and sometimes meets up with them for a couple of minutes after school to show them some photos he took, music he likes, stuff like that. He’s pretty eager with his new friend, especially since they helped him to broaden his horizons. He normally wouldn’t spend so much time with someone younger than him, but he gives this person a pass because he genuinely thinks they’re really cool. 

JFK is kind of an inconsiderate prick to most people, but not to this person. He admires their passion for photography and how they went out of their way to help him, especially when he can see how anxious they are. He knows he has a big reputation to uphold, but he tries to give back what he’s received nonetheless.

Crushing

 JFK isn’t very familiar with these feelings because “romance” to him is usually a hookup in the back of his car, but he can feel that it’s a little bit... different with this person. He likes how he feels when he’s just talking to or walking next to them, and he doesn’t feel that way about a lot of people. He doesn’t really realise that he has a crush on them at first because that’s a fairly unfamiliar concept to him. 

This person is also pretty shy around JFK. They know that he’s the big shot popular jock around the school, so they’re afraid that JFK is just using them for a laugh or sympathy points or something. They don’t open up to him about their feelings right away, but they can still feel the change in their relationship. 

JFK doesn’t really know how this person feels about him, because they start pulling back a little bit when they realise that they might have feelings for JFK, in more than a friendly way. Their friendship doesn’t exactly turn awkward, but it doesn’t flow as easily as it did before. JFK thinks this is his fault, so he tries to be extra careful around them and even drop some hints that he’s into them. 

Eventually, the photography project ends and neither of them really know what to do. This person feels like they can’t continue to be friends with JFK the way they were before because they don’t think they belong with someone as popular as him, and JFK feels like he can’t hang out with this person anymore because he’s the one who made their friendship awkward (even though that’s not entirely true). 

JFK makes a bold move and tells them that he doesn’t want to stop hanging out with them, and they tell JFK that they feel the same way. He tries to ask them out in the most subtle way possible. He asks if they maybe want to see a movie on Friday night, and they say yes. 

Lovers

JFK isn’t very good at expressing his feelings with words, but he’s good at expressing them through physical affection. He tries to tell his s/o that he loves them without saying the words, because he’s too scared to say them out loud. 

JFK does confess first though, because he always gets really close to saying it and then stops himself and eventually he gets tired of stopping himself. He says it in kind of a rushed way, not because he doesn’t want his s/o to hear, but because he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. He’s never said the words out loud before. JFK’s s/o says it back just as nervously, but they both smile. They’re a very happy couple, and their romantic relationship doesn’t feel awkward. 

[hyenahunt]

Jun Sazanami - 5* Feature Scout: Traversing the Wilds, Towards the Horizon - 2 [END]

Writer: Umeda Chitose

Season: Autumn

Characters: Jun, Hiyori, Nagisa

Proofreading: royalquintet

Translation: hyenahunt

Jun: Those strong feelings I've always held in my heart... they haven't changed one bit, even throughout all my idol work nowadays.

Hiyori: You're late! I've had to start practicing all on my own, you know! Come now, Jun-kun, I want you to join me and get dancing right away!

Jun: Seriously? You're the one who suddenly called me over without any explanation—you're always doing whatever you want~!

[One hour later...]

Hiyori: Yes, yes ♪ Today we're perfectly in sync as always, aren't we? What fine weather ♪

Alright, Jun-kun, here's a towel and some water, just for you. Go on, accept my kindness!

Jun: They were already in the room, dammit.

But anyway, why'd you suddenly call me over? We didn't have any lessons planned for today, right?

Hiyori: I simply had a lot of free time on my hands—

...or so you expected me to say, didn't you?

Jun-kun, you're keeping a secret from me! You've got something of utter importance that you aren't discussing with me, don't you?

Jun: ....Sorry?

Hiyori: Jun-kun, you're so dense! Didn't I tell you to discuss your personalised outfit with me, once your turn came up?

And why, you ask? Aren't I your partner, Jun-kun? Aren't I your Ohii-san you respect so much?

You could say I'm even your senior in getting an outfit! Surely there's no one in the world more suited to advising you than I am...!

Jun: You say this with your whole chest, but I don't think I mentioned a thing about this to you. Didja hear it from Ibara?

Hiyori: Something like that ♪ Now then, what kind of outfit do you want to wear, Jun-kun? Go on, you can tell your Ohii-san anything... ♪

Jun: I'm seriously stuck on this, so please don't make fun of me for it, alright?

I talked with Mashiro-kun and Kagehira-san just now about it, but...

Coming up with something not in Eden or Eve's image but in my own, or rather an outfit that gives off my energy... I've been having a hard time trying to figure it all out.

Hiyori: …………

Jun: I'm pretty sure you've got a good idea of my past and all, but...

That gloomy past I spent as a nobody at the bottom of the barrel makes me who I am today.

Those strong feelings I've always held in my heart... they haven't changed one bit, even throughout all my idol work nowadays.

And that's why... um... I thought maybe I could express those feelings through my outfit, but then I got tripped up by another problem.

I've got fans who like me and cheer me on, but what if who they're actually fans of is specifically Eden and Eve's Jun Sazanami...

So I've been thinking maybe they'd be happier if I wore colours more suited for my unit than for me—

Hiyori: ...What, you mean that's it? That's what's got you stumped, Jun-kun?

Jun: W-What's wrong with that!? I've been seriously having a crisis over this, y'know!?

Hiyori: What a silly goose you are, Jun-kun... Developing your idol skills isn't all there is to it—you should develop your emotional awareness, as well.

You got all up in your head back when you had your hyena stageplay role too, didn't you?

Jun: Uuugh...

Hiyori: One would never guess it, Jun-kun, but overthinking yourself into a rut seems to be one of your bad habits.

You may have taken on the role of a hyena prince that one time, but right now, Jun-kun, you seem exactly like an armadillo!

Jun: A-an armadillo...?

Hiyori: You curl into a ball with your head in your hands, and your train of thought seizes up! There's no way you can run free in the wild like this!

And if you shut yourself away into your shell, not only will no one else be able to see you, but you'll lose sight of yourself, too.

Round and plump things are charming, yes, but when you're an idol, you must bask in the gazes of the people and show your brilliance.

Jun: Umm... I suck at reading between the lines, so can't you just spell it out for me~?

Hiyori: Fufu, impatient, aren't we? All the same, while I believe you've come along splendidly, the fact that it seems I still have much to teach you does put me at ease... ♪

With that, I'll ask my first question! How's Reimei Academy been [like] recently?

Jun: Why're you asking me questions when you said you'd teach me...? Umm, let's see...

Even Kazehaya-senpai told me that I'm the current hero of Reimei Academy, so the sense of recognition feels a lot more real, I guess...?

Hiyori: ... Jun-kun, you really are rather fond of Tatsumi-kun, aren't you?

But well, I'm more than happy to hear you're being appreciated!

Alrighty then, next question! Out of the jobs you've taken lately, which one left the strongest impression on you?

Jun: That's gotta be the stageplay for me. It was a real valuable experience, and I feel that by toughing it out through the performance I've really broadened my perspective.

Hiyori: Yes, yes, you did a brilliant job in learning from that experience! Well then, what do you keep in mind whenever you work?

Jun: Let's see... My work as Eden, or Eve, or Lilith or even when I go solo are all a lil' different from each other, but...

At heart, it's gotta be getting seen as an inspiration or goal for those who are just like how I used to be—

And maybe I kinda wanna be someone who can help others pave their own paths.

Hiyori: ... Indeed ♪

You wanted to become an idol, Jun-kun... and here you are now, your dream come true.

Keeping up in practice with me, holding out throughout our various jobs and recognising your own growth—you've come along so well that you can succeed in all of this.

Jun-kun, the virtue that's brought you this far is your hyena-esque determination and ambition. I've told you this before, but...

Those strengths of yours are deeply rooted within you—they're what give you merit. As long as you continue to hold them close to your heart, they'll last you your whole life.

Jun: Ohii-san...

Hiyori: Still, no one can say for sure what's in store for you now that you've become an idol. That's something you'll have to think about yourself, as you go about your days.

Jun-kun, the possibilities in front of you are endless... and one such way for you to express all that potential is through your personalised outfit.

You wouldn't want to let hesitation and indecisiveness hold you back, would you? Not when it concerns your own potential and self-expression.

Jun: ...It's gonna take some time to really digest all this complicated stuff you're saying, Ohii-san, but...

So what you're saying is.... if I've got it in me to become any kinda idol, then the only way my outfit would be worth it is if it'd suit that future version of me, no matter how I turn out.

... or something like that? Did I get that right?

Hiyori: If I were to confirm it, then it wouldn't be your answer but rather my own, no?

But if it's an answer that came from your own mind, and it's one that you yourself believe in, then that would be more than enough... ♪

[Several days later...]

[Location: Seisou Hall Common Room]

Jun: (I was so caught up brainstorming my personalised outfit over lunch that I'm cutting it real close for time. ES may be nearby, but I can't afford to stay here any longer...)

Nagisa: ...Jun, wait. You forgot this.

Jun: Oh man— I forgot the most important thing for the meeting. Thank you, Nagi-senpai.

I don't have my name written on the cover or anything, but you still knew it was mine, huh?

Nagisa: ...I figured it was yours once I looked inside it, Jun. Both the writing and the art felt like they'd be yours.

Jun: I feel kinda embarrassed that you saw, actually... Sorry for my cruddy drawings and the scribbly mess inside.

Nagisa: ...Why do you apologise?

...Jun, perhaps you may feel that you're standing in the wilderness, but...

...you can turn those surrounding plains into a land rich in harvest, or even into fields full of flowers. Within you, there's a path that continues towards such a future.

...That's the feeling I got from looking through your notebook. I'm looking forward to seeing how your outfit turns out, Jun.

Jun: ...Hehe. Thank you, Nagi-senpai.

If you can say all that about it, then there's no way it won't turn out all right~

This is the very first step I'm taking in my new journey forward. Mark my words: Jun Sazanami's gonna show the world all the potential he has~!

✦✦✦✦✦

← prev ✦ all ✦

[ragingbookdragon]

Earning Trust Doesn’t Come Without Its Struggles PT. 2

An Adrian Tepes (Alucard) x Reader Story!

Warnings: Explicit Language, Fear? (Is that even a taggable warning???) Author’s Note: I suck at writing scary scenes! I’m better at ANGST! Enjoy! -Thorne

She ran her fingers down the page before turning to the mortar and pestle, grinding down the salts, then she sprinkled them into the alembic, watching as it bubbled. She’d been fortunate enough to find working equipment, and even more fortunate to find fresh alchemic ingredients in the observatory. She made a mental note to find a broom as she waited, eyes focused on the cooking potion, occasionally dipping the metal spoon inside to stir it. When the potion was ready, she set a bottle under it, making sure to catch the liquid. Capping it, she stuck it in the pocket of her belt, then looked down at the sleeping pug next to her feet. (Y/N) smiled, then turned her gaze to the window, eyes growing wide as she exclaimed, “Oh my! I didn’t realize I’d been here that long!” She bent over, patting the dog awake. “Come on Little Cezar, you must be as hungry as I am.” As they entered the entry way, (Y/N) waited and glanced at the pug. “Say Little Cezar, why don’t you and I go see if we can forage some more food for dinner?” The dog barked and she smiled, tipping her head to the doors. “Well, alright then! Let’s go!” She started to move when she paused and looked down. “Little Cezar, I’m going to go get my shoes and cloak and find a basket in the kitchen. Wait right here, okay?” He yapped at her and she spun on her heel, climbing the stairs.

           After (Y/N) had pulled on her shoes and cloak, she entered the kitchen and rummaged around until she found a basket. As she turned to leave, she stopped and glanced back at the counter, brows furrowed as she scanned the top. “Mmm…something feels different…I just can’t put my finger on it.” A moment later she shrugged and left, winding her way back to the entry where the pug still sat; (Y/N) smiled at him. “Good boy! Now let’s get going!” He barked and followed after her as she opened the heavy doors.

           Her eyes flitted to the stakes buried in the ground and she moved close to one of them, poking the skin of the corpse. She frowned and muttered, “They’re not fresh…but they’re not old either…whoever did this, did so recently.” (Y/N) eyed the pug who seemed to be frowning at the cadavers. “You knew them, didn’t you Little Cezar?” The dog whimpered and she bent down, petting his head. “Come on then…let’s go find something to eat.” (Y/N) turned her back to the castle, making her way into the forest. Sunlight filtered through the trees and she bent down, occasionally pulling up vegetables and herbs she found growing.

After an hour or so, she found herself bent over the side of a small stream, trying to catch a fish, a determined look on her face. Thrusting her hands out, she cursed as she missed the fish again. “Damnit!” Cezar barked and she nodded, readying herself again. “I know boy! I’m gonna catch that fish!” (Y/N) narrowed her eyes and waited for the fish to swim around again, and when it did, her hands shot out into the water. A smile lit up her face, but it dropped as she realized she was pitching forward, and with a yelp, she tumbled into the stream. She sat up, laughing as Cezar spun in circles, barking loudly. “I’m fine Little Cezar!” (Y/N) raised her hand in the air and exclaimed, “Look at what I caught!” She looked up at the wiggling trout with a victorious expression. “I told you I was gonna catch you.” She climbed out of the stream and dropped the fish into the basket, closing the top over it. Her hands skimmed her tunic and she squeezed the water out as best she could, then picked the basket up. “Alright boy let’s get back to the kitchen. If you’re as hungry as I am, then you’re about to faint from it.” Cezar followed as she led the way back to the castle.

           (Y/N) cleaned the fish and vegetables with a practiced ease, occasionally dropping pieces for Cezar to eat as she did. She twisted her wrist as she flipped the ingredients in the skillet. As she did that morning, she placed a finished plate down for Cezar before she sat down, eating slowly, turning through the pages of the alchemy book she’d left inside.

Her eyes drifted over familiar words and techniques, reminding her of the teachings her uncle had given her during her training. She missed the old man, and sometimes she resented him for sending her off, but in the long run, she realized that he knew what was good for her, and seeing the world had broadened her horizons enough that she hunted for legendary alchemic ingredients. They usually tended to be guarded by creatures that didn’t particularly enjoy being woken up, which usually tended to result in a fight, but (Y/N) didn’t let it stop her from hunting. She’d been on the hunt for the rare Dianthus flowers when the freezing rainstorm had come upon her, unfortunately, she had to abandon the search for her flowers in a more important search for shelter. Through a series of rather unfortunate events, that involved multiple falls and dropping her bag off the side of the Carpathian Mountains, (Y/N) came upon the ruins and the castle. She still wasn’t entirely sure who the ruins and castle belonged to, but if the somewhat clean castle, and she thought that lightly, was an indicator, whoever it was, lived there; she just hadn’t run into them yet. “Maybe the ruins might have something of worth to dig through.” She frowned, wondering if the collapsed mansion would have anything. “It’s probably already been pillaged. Oh well…might as well check it out tomorrow.”

Glancing down, Cezar had already finished his plate and was curled up on the floor sleeping contently. It brought a smile to her face as she finished up the rest of her own food before collecting their plates and washing them. She placed them on the drying rag then walked back over, patting the pug on the side. “Come on Little Cezar. Let’s go back to the observatory.” He whined and rolled on the floor causing her to snicker. “What? You don’t wanna go do more science experiments?” Cezar whined again and she sighed, nodding her head in defeat. “Alright, alright. Then let’s go find a bedroom to sleep in. I am not sleeping on the floor again.” The dog hopped up and wagged his tail as he led her through the halls and up the stairs.

           (Y/N) frowned the higher they climbed and as they reached the top floor, a feeling of unease spread through her. She cast her gaze down the hall, seeing a single set of double doors at the end, Cezar standing in front of them. Cautiously, she crept over and laid her hand on the door handle. For a moment, she stood in front of the doors, frozen in place, then she let her hand drop from the door as she looked down and whispered, “Little Cezar, I’m not sure being on this floor is a good idea…something doesn’t feel right.” He cocked his head, looking at her with one bright blue eye and she added, “Is there another room we can stay in?” He looked towards the door then turned, padding back to the staircase, her close behind. As she stepped down, she paused and glanced over her shoulder towards the double doors, and what she saw made her heart thunder in her chest as her eyes went wide. A crack, no larger than an inch had opened, but it wasn’t the sight of the unlocked doors that scared her. It was the single glaring golden eye that pierced her, pining her feet in place. (Y/N) found it hard to breath as her lungs locked up in a frozen alarm, and she felt her body begin to shiver; whether it was from her still damp clothes or terror, she couldn’t tell. Blinking, she gasped and squinted as the opened doors had closed, as if they hadn’t been opened in the first place. She reached up, rubbing harshly at her eyes, but the scene didn’t change, the doors still sat shut, no longer showing the gilded eye from before. (Y/N) swallowed thickly then spun on her heel, running down the steps as fast as her feet would take her.

A Few Hours Later:

           She lay in the bed, gazing absentmindedly out the window, her fingers brushing up and down Cezar’s side. Her thoughts kept drifting back to the incident on the top floor, but it only served to confuse her with each run through she went over. Mere moments. Mere. Moments. Is what she experienced but it felt like an eternity. (Y/N) shivered as she remembered the obvious loathing and how palpable it felt, as though a deep-freeze had covered her body, restricting any movement, even her breathing. She shook her head, snapping herself out of the memory, turning her eyes to the door. Earlier, she’d propped up the chair from the writing desk under the handle. Whatever was up there could probably get through something as simple as her makeshift blockade, but whatever it was, appeared to only stay on the top floor. Fine by me. She thought as she rolled over, burrowing herself in the covers. (Y/N) lay there in silence, and just as she was about to fall asleep, she shot up and yanked the covers off, startling Cezar. She rose out of the bed, pulling the chair from the door, and yanked it open taking off down the hall. She could hear Cezar running behind her and as she entered the kitchen, she ran up to the counter, staring at the empty plate laying on it. (Y/N) finally realized why she had felt like something was off earlier that afternoon. Someone had eaten the leftovers she’d left out.

She reached out to touch the plate when low hiss sounded from the doorway adjacent to her. Swallowing the lump of terror growing in her throat, she slowly turned her head to the side. The moonlight only shone through two windows in the kitchen, the one opposite of her, and the one on her right, but it did nothing to give her any glimpse into what had hissed at her. Her fear only grew when she drug her eyes up the darkness and caught sight of not one golden eye, but two, staring back at her. (Y/N)’s jaw went slack, and she tried to make a noise, but nothing came out save for a strangled gasp. Horror sent shockwaves through her as her feet glued themselves to the floor, and no matter how hard she willed them to move, they wouldn’t’. Another hiss came from the doorway causing her to flounder and she shrieked the first thing that came to mind, “I’m trying to run but I can’t move my feet!”

A bark sounded behind her and as if the spell had been broken, the petrification wore off and (Y/N) spared one last horror-stricken glance at the gilded eyes before shoving off the counter, scooping up Cezar at the doorway, and sprinting back to the room. The entire run, she felt like whatever it was, was hot on her heels, and as she entered the room, she tossed the pug onto the bed and slammed the door closed, pressing her back up against it. Her breath came in ragged pants and after a moment, she pulled the chair under the handle again, leaping onto the bed and under the covers. (Y/N) kept her head out so she could see the closed door, too frightened to burrow underneath and turn her back to it. Her heart pounded against her ribcage and for hours, she stared at the door, every creak and howl of the wind keeping her awake.

A Few Hours Later:

           She groaned as she rolled over, cracking her eyes open to peer at the door. Thankfully, whatever had scared her half to death hadn’t followed her as the chair was still leaning under the locked door handle. Glancing down, she saw the pug curled up against her side, sleeping peacefully. (Y/N) reached down, petting him, and turned her gaze to the window, looking out at the land. The ruins she’d passed days earlier were far across the field and she narrowed her eyes peering at them. She arched an eyebrow as she looked at the pulley system that someone had rigged in the middle of them. Frowning, she muttered, “What’s a platform doing in a ruin?” Curiosity made her fingers itch in anticipation of whatever was over there, and she shifted, rising from the bed. Earlier that night, before the scare in the kitchen, she’d discovered that the bedroom she was in had a dresser, and to her satisfaction, it was also full of clothes her size. Pulling on a simple pair of black pants and a white tunic, she fastened her belt around her waist and picked up the satchel she’d found earlier, hauling it over her shoulder. Cezar stared at (Y/N) as she pulled on her boots and tied the laces, and when she was finished, she reached over and patted his head. “I’m gonna go check out those ruins. You stay here, okay boy?” He whimpered and she smiled, reassuring, “If that thing comes out at night, I promise I’ll be back before sundown, alright?” (Y/N) swore he grumbled at her, but relented as she stood from the bed, and moved the chair. Carefully, she opened the door and stuck her head out, looking both directions before she took off down the hall and stairs.

[thelovecore]

Hip Check /Steve Harrington\

Hip Check /Steve Harrington\

Reader is newer to Hawkins and teaches the kids how to play street hockey. Dustin makes Steve drive him to his first practice, but forces Steve to stay and meet y/n.

Steve Harrington x female reader

I really can’t stop writing for Steve. It’s a curse I’m very willing to live with. If you want anything with Steve, send me a request!

___________

“Hey Dustin!” One of the kids called from the street. Dustin sighed and looked over at Steve, who drove him to try and play street hockey with some kids from school.

“They seem nice.” Steve said, nodding towards the kids. They went back to shooting on the abnormally tall goalie. “Why is that goalie so big? You got Frankenstein in your class?”

“No. That’s the one kids older sister.” Dustin said. “And frankly, I think you should stick around. She’s pretty cool.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve asked, squinting at Dustin.

“Your love life is in the toilet and you should be meeting every girl alive to broaden your horizons.” Dustin said, grabbing his stick out of the back seat. “Stay.”

Steve sighed. He knew Dustin was right.

“Alright. But don’t make it weird, Henderson.” Steve said, getting out of the car and leaning on it.

Readers POV

“Hey Dustin!” I said as he walked over with a stick. My brother had told me Dustin was coming. The other kids said Dustin was weird and was weirder after his friend Will moved away. I immediately yelled at all of them and told them street hockey was for everyone.

“Hey y/n.” Dustin said.

“Is your brother going to play? I brought a few extra sticks.” I said, nodding to the guy leaning on his car nearby.

“Oh, he’s not my brother.” Dustin said. “He’s my friend Steve. My single friend Steve, who does not currently have a girlfriend.” Steve must have overheard this, because he was awkwardly looking down and kicking rocks. I lifted my goalie mask off my face and waved at him. He weakly waved back. Dustin smiled a large, cocky smile towards his friend.

“Wanna play? We’re about to just start some shooting drills.” I said. Steve looked over at me.

“Oh..no...I don’t know how...I wasn’t planning on it.” He said, shuffling his feet. I could tell why this guy didn’t have a girlfriend.

“I’ll teach you.” I offered. Now I just kind of wanted to mess with him.

“Oh, uhm, n-no thanks.” He said, glaring at Dustin.

“Suit yourself.” I said, grabbing a drink of water before pulling the mask back down. “Alright Dustin, let’s see this slap shot.”

Dustin shyly took a shot that bounced off my foam leg pads. He looked sad after that.

“That was good! Just make sure you move your hips into it when you shoot. Shift your weight from back to front.” I said. The other kids all showed him and he smiled a little. I could tell he felt more included.

Eventually we played a three on three game with the kids and Dustin was picking up pretty quickly. The other kids included him in plays and he eventually tucked in a goal behind me. The other kids cheered for him and told him good job.

“Good job Dustin, she doesn’t give up many goals.” A kid named Tony said.

“Great job Dustin. Keep practicing those wrist shots and you’re going to be scoring a lot more.” I said. The light from the day had started to fade, and the streetlights were about to kick on.

“Alright guys, enough for today.” I said, pushing the net into the front yard. “See you next week.” The kids all dispersed and Dustin came up to me.

“You’re a really good teacher y/n.” He said. I lifted my mask off and smiled.

“Thanks Dustin. You’re honestly pretty darn good for a beginner. You put a couple stingers on me.” I said, laughing. He laughed a little and looked over at Steve.

“Hey...uh...would you be able to say hi to Steve? He may seem like a total dork, but he’s really cool.” Dustin said. I smiled at the thought of messing with this kid again. In my brain I called him a kid even though he was definitely my age or even a year older.  

“Sure.” I said, walking over awkwardly with my leg pads still on. Steve looked progressively more nervous as we got closer. My brother walked home with his friends, so I had all the time in the world.

“Hey Steve, this is y/n. She’s an awesome goalie and teacher.” Dustin said, grinning ear to ear. Steve scowled at him before looking at me. I smiled at him and took my hand out of my glove and offered it.

“Nice to meet you Steve.” I said. He shook my hand and smiled.

“Nice to meet you.” He said. “Have you always lived  in Hawkins? I feel like I haven’t seen you around before.”

“We moved here last year. I used to live near Chicago. Go Blackhawks.” I said shyly. Why all of a sudden did I feel so shy in front of this doe eyed, nice haired, cute smile...ah crap. He is pretty cute.

“Chicago must be nice compared to here.” Steve said. Dustin had sneaked away with a walkie talkie in hand.

“Eh. It’s a lot more people, but that doesn’t mean the people are better.” I said. “I actually am kind of into this small town vibe. Everyone has been so nice to my brother.” I said. “And the kids around here are pretty interested in learning hockey, which keeps me busy. I work as a waitress normally and I sometimes use some of that money to buy extra sticks for the kids. Everyone deserves a chance to learn the game a little.”

“Wow...that’s really nice of you.” Steve said. He had taken off his sunglasses and we were really looking at each other. In our brief silence, we could hear Dustin behind the car talking into his walkie talkie.

“No, Mike, I’m serious. I think she’s the one. He’s talking to her now. She’s really nice. And I know he’ll think she’s pretty.”

“You’re NOT whispering, Henderson.” Steve said, turning red in his cheeks. I giggled a little and looked down at the ground, feeling my own cheeks go warm. I rubbed my arm and looked back up at Steve. I winced as I hit a spot that I had taken a shot and didn’t have pads.

“You okay?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, just a stinger. Might bruise, probably not.” I said, showing him the red spot on my arm.

“You’re pretty brave to play goalie. I would not want to block all those shots.” Steve said.

“I like goalie. I don’t know why, I just do.” I said.

“You look good doing it. I mean, like, you’re good at it not like, you’re good looking. I mean, you are good looking, just, ah, crap...” Steve stumbled through his words, rubbing the back of his neck. I smiled, not hiding the rush of blood to my cheeks or the pounding of my heart.

“I know what you mean, Steve.” I said.

“Do you...do you want to come get pizza with me? And Dustin, but I guess we could take him home first. Do you like pizza? Probably should have asked that first. It could just be me and you, unless that’d be weird. We can bring Dustin.” He said. I hope he was just as nervous as I was and not always like this.

“I want pizza!” Dustin yelled from behind the car. “Mike, they’re going for pizza!”

I laughed as Steve rolled his eyes.

“Let me take this stuff off. You just better be prepared to smell my sweaty stink while we eat pizza.” I said.

“I don’t mind.” Steve said. I went back to my car and took my equipment off, put on new deodorant and walked back to Steve’s car.

Steve, Dustin, and I went to where Steve said had the best pizza in Hawkins. We got to know each other and laughed at each other’s stories and jokes, and I gave Dustin some quarters to go play pinball.

“You were really good with the kids tonight.” Steve said. “You made Dustin feel really welcome to that group.”

“I try. I know what it’s like to not have a ton of friends, so I want everyone to feel like they have someone to turn to.” I said. “How did you and Dustin get so close?”

“We’ve...been through a lot together.” He said. “That’s a story for a second date.” He instantly went wide eyed when he realized what he said. I sipped my water and smiled at him.

“I’d like that a lot.” I said. “My offer also still stands, whenever you want to play hockey with the kids, I’ll teach you. Maybe I’ll even teach you how to hip check people.”  I laughed.

“I’d...like that.” Steve said, smiling.

“Mike, Lucas, they’re going on a second date!”

“Henderson!”

[fightmewiatch]

Good Wow

Pairing: Frank Adler x Reader

Prompt: “Are you hitting on me?”

          “Alright class!” the professor smiled, turning and quickly dragging the chalk across the board. “I’ve got an appointment Friday so class is cancelled, but this is what I want you all to do for Monday, and I do mean all of you, I will not accept being hungover as an excuse to not finish it.” With that, she turned, tapping the chalk beneath the assignment on the board. “Monday. No excuses.”

“What if we aren’t here?” you asked, fighting a giggle as the professor tilted her head, brow raised. 

“Has your email gone down and any potential computers exploded?”

“It could be the end of the world,” you countered, shrugging almost casually, as the woman at the head of the class ducked her head, fighting a laugh. 

“Alright. If and only if it is the end of the world, you do not have to turn in your assignment. Otherwise, I want to see it in my email or on your desk when we start class Monday.”

         Laughing softly, you nodded, packing up your bag and turning to the little girl in the next seat. 

“Hey, Mary...thank you, for loaning me this.” She peered over as she tucked her notebook into her backpack, and smiled brightly.

“You’re welcome! Frank told me to be prepared for accidents like that when I started coming here….” she replied, shrugging a little. 

“Well, Frank sounds very smart,” you answered, standing and slinging your bag over your head, tucking it beneath your arm. You twisted, making sure you didn’t leave anything behind, before looking back at Mary with a smile as she fumbled with the strap of her bag. “Need some help?”

“No,” Mary answered quickly, but after a few more seconds, she dropped her hands to her sides, groaning. “Please?”

“My pleasure,” you chuckled, taking the bag and fixing the straps before holding them for her to slip her arms into it. “C’mon, I’ll walk you out,” you grinned, giggling again as Mary laughed, too, and led you out of the room. 

         It was your third year in university, your first in this kind of math class, but despite seeing all kinds in college, you had not, in any way, expected Mary. She was so young, still technically in grade school save for this class, that at first, you thought you were hallucinating. But the professor had welcomed her with a bright smile, hesitant at first but more than happy to see the mind Mary had. 

         But after the first day, you found yourself sitting beside her, as though you were drawn to her. She was smart, and outspoken, but there were times she hesitated, unsure about asking or even raising her hand. It was something you were more than happy to do, though, leaning in to ask what she didn’t know, and raising your hand to ask. After a few classes, she warmed up to raising her hand, herself, but the two of you continued talking, comparing notes and assignments before and after class. 

“You know, all this time, Mary, and I have yet to meet this mysterious Frank you keep mentioning,” you commented, glancing at her curiously as she nearly skipped beside you. 

“Frank’s not that mysterious,” she huffed. “He works on boats and he can’t cook.”

“Hey, I’ve been trying,” sounded a slight offended baritone voice that made you look up from the girl beside you, stumbling to a stop. 

         The man you were guessing was Frank was way more attractive than you had ever expected, enough to make your mouth go dry and your heart skip before you felt your face flush. He caught Mary as she hopped at him, spinning her around with a laugh before glancing over at you. 

“Who’s this?”

“This is Y/N...she’s in class with me.” Frank smiled, leaning in your direction as he held out one of his hands, shaking yours when you finally realized what he was doing and pressed your hand against his. 

“I’m Frank, Mary’s uncle.”

“It’s...nice to finally meet you.” Mary grinned, tilting her head back to look up at Frank.

“She thinks you’re smart.” He lifted a brow, curious, as you giggled softly, ducking your head.

“She...let me borrow a pen today, because I forgot my pencil case, and my pen may have snapped in half.” He reared back, startled, as you waved it off, shaking your head. “Don’t...ask. But she said you told her to be prepared for accidents like that when she started coming here.”

“That’s right, I did. Doesn’t necessarily make me smart, but I do appreciate the compliment,” he grinned, shining blue eyes crinkling as he did. “This your first year, or…?”

“Oh, no...third. But it’s my first year in this kind of class. Honestly, most days, I think I’m making it because of Mary. Math isn’t my forte, necessarily, but I thought it might be good to broaden my horizons.” Frank laughed, the sound barely on his breath, as he glanced down at Mary. “I should let you guys go, I know she’s got her...is it Girl Scout’s?” you asked, unsure, looking at the brown vest over her dress.

“Yeah. I just gotta drive her back to her grade school.”

“Are you working tonight?” Mary asked, meeting your eye as you looked down at her. 

“Nope. Spending tonight studying, I got a test in the morning.”

“Ugh. Morning tests,” Mary grumbled. You giggled, nodding.

“Yeah. Afternoon tests, I can handle. Morning tests...there is never enough coffee.” Frank scoffed, but he was smiling as you looked up at him. 

“I always thought morning tests were better - get it out of the way,” he admitted, shrugging. 

“Bah,” you grunted, smiling. Frank grinned again, shaking his head, before twisting to look at the clock on the wall.

“Ah, we should get going, don’t wanna keep you from your next class.” You hummed, shaking your head, and blushed at the curious expression on his face.

“This is my last class, actually. Now I just...go home. Or. Maybe the library. Probably the library,” you corrected, groaning. Frank chuckled, reaching for Mary’s hand, before pointing towards the door with his free hand.

“Can we drop you off? I think we pass the library on our way,” he offered. You parted your lips, surprised, but you were more surprised when Mary jumped excitedly.

“Oh! Please? Please?” 

“...how can I say no to that?” you laughed, finally, nodding and following Frank and Mary out to the old pick up outside. 

         For the following few weeks, it was the same thing. When class was over, you and Mary would walk out into the hall to meet up with Frank, and he would offer to give you a lift - either to the library or to your building, wherever you happened to be going. You didn’t mind walking, really, you weren’t all that far, but it was nice to have the company after class, releasing some of the tension from being in classes all day. 

         Mary studied you, a month later, watching you constantly checking your phone beneath the table before returning to your work. You seemed distracted most of the class, something she noticed almost immediately, but it wasn’t until the professor dismissed you that she said anything. The moment the teacher spoke her dismissal, you were tucking your papers into your folder, stuffing the object into your bag. 

“You seem frazzled.” You glanced over, surprised, and blushed, smiling.

“Yeah, I...I’m sorry, I’m just really excited to get out of here,” you admitted, helping her get her bag on before following her out to the hall. Frank looked up from his seat, lighting up at the sight of you with Mary, and hopped to his feet, meeting you halfway. 

“How was class?”

“It was good,” Mary nodded, smiling. “She was distracted, said she’s excited to get out of here.” Frank looked over, curious, as you started leading them to the door, prompting a chuckle from him.

“Oh? Got a hot date tonight?” he teased you as he jogged around to open the door of the truck, smiling back as you laughed, blushing brightly. Mary climbed up into the truck, wriggling her way into the middle of the bench seat, as you looked at Frank with a shake of your head. 

“No, no date,” you replied with a smile. 

“...want one?” 

You quirked a brow, hand on the door of the truck, but stopped, leaning back to see him.

“...are you hitting on me?” Frank shrugged casually, brushing it off a little, but you could see the uncertainty in his eyes as he glanced up at you. “...wow.”

“Good wow? Or...bad wow?”

“Good,” you answered quickly. “And...any other time, my answer would be yes, but tonight, I can’t. Um. My brother is overseas, and we haven’t really talked in months, but, he emailed me last night that he’s going to call me on Skype in…” You glanced down at your watch, lip between your teeth. “Less than an hour. And I just...I can’t miss it.”

“Well, shit, hop in, lemme get you home.” Blushing, you quickly climbed in, twisting to close the door behind you as he jogged around and climbed behind the wheel.

         With the windows only partially cracked, enough to get the air through but not enough for anyone to reach in, Frank climbed out when you did, reminding Mary to lock the doors before he rounded the truck and followed you to the door. 

“Thank you, for the drive, Frank...for all of them, I really do appreciate it.” 

“Yeah, it’s no problem. It’s nice to see Mary finding people she can talk to here.” You unlocked the door, but paused, turning to look at him. “...what?”

“Did you mean it? About...about the date?”

“Yeah,” he promised, nodding. 

“...can, uh...maybe...tomorrow?” The smile was slow, but certain, curling at his lips, as he nodded quickly. 

“Yeah, definitely. You’ve got our number, right?” You nodded, returning the smile. “Gimme a call when you’re finished with Skype, we can figure it out.”

“Perfect. Can’t wait.” Frank hesitated, but ducked in, kissing your cheek, before he headed back to the truck. You were struck still for a moment in surprise, but when he slammed the door behind him and waved, you waved back, grinning as you disappeared into your apartment, giddy with excitement. 

[pandora-hoard]

Headcanons for when you get into an argument with them that devolves into you giving them the cold shoulder: Dabi, Spinner, Mr. Compress

Spinner

·         Is a super hardass about it. You wanna give him silent treatment? That’s fine, he can do it too.

·         He lived his days as a hikikomori previously so he’s more than used to not interacting with anyone at all, nevermind one person.

·         But boy did he not count on how hard it’d be to not interact with you. Like he is hurting inside.

·         But he’s spiteful so that won’t stop him.

·         But but the longer this silent feud between the two of you goes on the more his spite turns inward and starts to fester as self-loathing. Like look at him. Of course, you two got into an argument, he ruins everything and this won’t be different. He’s awful and disgusting and it’s no wonder you’re having such an easy time giving him the cold shoulder (even if he doesn’t realize that you’re actually struggling hard af); you could do so much better than him. He doesn’t deserve you.

·         Eventually he digs himself right into a rut, now he’s not icing you out from spite but maybe so you’ll realize your mistake in loving him.

·         Poor bby ;–;

·         You 100% have to be the one that breaks first – not that you have to apologize or anything. But that wall that he’s built up between the two of you during his late hour mullings? You’re gonna have to be the one that breaks through first to establish contact.

·         And honestly he’ll probably straight up be like “hey did you realize how you should leave me yet?” and you’ll be like ????? because that’s what he was thinking during this?

·         Don’t get me wrong he’s not trying to guilt you about your anger or anything

·         Anyone have parents that did that? Lol

·         If you have open arguments with him – like maybe you both walk away to cool off for half an hour whatever and then come back to an open discussion? He’s super cool with that. Especially if the argument is some moral or philosophical difference between the two of you (he fucking loves having his horizons broadened by his bf/gf and learning your thought process honestly).

·         Just pls don’t let this bby stew in his feelings of self-hatred and rejection.

Dabi

·         Ah arguments with this one are quite common.

·         Arguments bad enough that you’re not speaking to him though? That’s not super common.

·         And Dabi no likey.

·         Oh but he grew up in a fucked up household (Touya) - you wanna play this game? This is fucking child’s play compared to the mid/post argument shit he went through. Don’t wanna talk to him? That’s fine he didn’t want to talk to you first.

·         But to become Dabi’s gf/bf you have already worked some witchcraft to work your way into his heart. He is infected, he’s addicted to you, he’s straight up so drunk on your love – even if he doesn’t always show it conventionally. This boy doesn’t even notice until…

·         His willpower is ironclad at the beginning. He won’t even look at you.

·         It’s two hours in though and he. is. sweating.

·         He looks in your direction even five minutes, justifies it with the idea that he’s checking to see if you’re ready to apologize yet.

·         It’s totally not because he’s starting to slip. Not at all.

·         You’re the one that’s slipping. Look at how you completely ignore him. Oh yeah, you’re the one that’s close to breaking. Not him. No way. What’s was that Toga? Did you say something about him? Did you mention him at all when you guys were talking a couple of minutes ago??? No? Are you sure??????

·         He’s gonna laugh louder. Say ruder things very loudly about the various league members around you, just something to grab your attention even for a second.

·         Just give him a crumb. That’s all he wants. Pls sir, may he have some more?

·         Here’s the thing though – don’t be malicious about it. The second you pull some “oh, did someone hear the wind just now? What was that noise?” when he tries to talk to you or some shit, he’s gonna shut down. He’ll put that prickle suit of his right back on and drop you like a shit in the toilet. Absolutely not. He’s not about that.

·         But if you’re just straight up not talk to him? If you give him a half-hearted shrug when he asks you some assholey, sarcastic question as a cover for him trying to warm you back up? He knows he’s gotta do something about it.

·         Two and a half hours in and he’s glued to your side. “Hey, you know I saw some pretty shit at the park yesterday, thought of you.” He’s super cool about the whole thing. Definitely not wrapped around you like a cat, nudging your arm with his shoulder whenever he says some offhand shit. He’d never beg. And he’s not one to apologize really (especially in public/in front of others).

·         But he feels like he’s missing a leg really. He cannot go back to be a lonely cactus - not after experiencing you.

·         That’s the thing about Dabi; he’s not oblivious to how he is and how it affects others. It’s not carefully crafted and maintained, but he’s at least self-aware enough to know when he’s actually fucked up and knows when he’s culpable. And he can tell you’re not trying to be cruel and unusual about it – he’s the kind of person that does need hard boundaries put down, he just kind tramps all over lines drawn in the sand.

·         At the two hour and fifty-minute mark, he’s the one to break first and actually say sorry. It’s more of a “hey I see I fucked up and that’s my bad” line, but he’s sharper than he lets on most of the time and has likely already figured out what was so bad about what he did/said and if he thinks he was justified he’ll explain it as succinctly as he can. Consider this matter ended.

·         And then he wants cuddles and attention and all the backpay from those nearly three hours he missed with you.

·         Because at the end of the day your name is tattooed on his chest, heart, and ass.

Mr. Compress

·         Honestly could an argument even reach that level with this man?

·         Sure, he’s a little shit sometimes. And overtop. Some would even say overdramatic. But he’s nothing if not a mature lover; he doesn’t expect (nor even want) the two of you to agree on everything, and arguments are bound to happen, but he likes that.

·         He’s a man of showmanship – he loves the attention, the stage, the pageantry of it all. He knows better than to approach a disagreement from a seat of anger or spite. If his point falls apart at your words, then it wasn’t a very good one! And it certainly isn’t worth his time anymore.

·         Some extra-ordinary shit happens and you’re giving him the cold shoulder anyway?

·         He basically shrugs it off; he won’t go out of his way to bring a smile to your face (he’d rather give you space to chill) but he’s not going to turn spiteful and make it worse. When you’re ready to come around and talk about it from a neutral point he’ll be there.

·         And if you end up looking like the fool, in the end, he’s not the type to rub it in. He’d rather find out why you thought what you did – get to the root of the problem.

·         And if he ends up on the losing side once you get your thoughts in order and explain? He’s a good sport about it, might even make a bit of fun of himself.

·         Wish I could say there’s more but honestly he’s just happy to have you around. And while he’d rather you be mature about disagreements in the future he’s not about to throw his baby out with the bathwater.

·         Now go get your coat – he’s gonna pull a rose out from behind your ear and take you out for some fine ass dining.

[alexiaugustin]

Okay I'm gonna make this one post about my post yesterday and people's reaction to it and after that I'm not gonna mention it again because I don't wanna be involved in all that fandom drama

First of all I would like to clarify something about my post to prevent further misunderstandings. When I said "so go ahead straight people n fill my asks with hate [...]" I was in no way trying to say that only straight people watch this show or that just because, I as a queer person, gave my opinion on this matter every other queer person should/is having the same opinion as me. I read some posts and realized that this sentence was phrased really badly and I also wasn't aware that both of these statements from above are a huge problem in this tag since I only ever was in the wtfock tag when s3 was airing. So this misunderstanding is something I'm apologizing for and I hope that it didn't cause anyone any pain. That being said I would like to explain what I actually meant by it.

I'm aware that this show is watched by both queer and straight people and that's amazing and good. But one of my issues with this show (and in general all skam remakes) is that suddenly there are also a lot of straight people telling queer people how to feel about the representation, writing decisions etc... Of course everyone is allowed to give their opinions on tv shows and neither straight people should police queer people around nor (and that's important because so many people misunderstood me there) should queer people police other queer people around how to feel about this show. Nobody should send hate asks to anyone ever. But I do think that there's a difference between queer people discussion something they might or already have experience(d) in their daily life than people who might try to understand but will never ever fully get to understand because they just aren't experiencing it themselves. So if I say something that offends a queer person and this person replies to it maybe even a bit harshly because after all I offended them, that's something I can understand and I'm willing to listen to this person even tho they might not be 100% friendly. But straight people who have never experienced and will never experience the things I'm criticizing have no right to be angry and rude because let's make this clear; they just aren't in the place to be offended by a queer person talking about queer rep. They just aren't. And yes, in the skam fandoms are a lot of straight people freaking out as soon as someone criticizes their fav remake and it really rubs me the wrong way. I'm always up for discussion with everyone and my post a) stated that this was just my opinion and b) I even said in the tags that I respect other people's opinion on this.

And if u just saw a reblog and didn't read the tags then sorry but that really ain't my problem maybe make sure to read the whole post ur gonna ramble about on your own blog or in other people's asks next time because it would definitely prevent some misunderstandings. I would also really love to mention that I think that it's absolutely unnecessary to send hate asks to other blogs that had nothing to do with my post and now had to deal with the "drama" I started?? But maybe it's just me who thinks so. Honestly if y'all wanted to know what I meant with certain things I said you could have just asked me instead of sending those questions to others but okayyy

And for the people saying "If you can't handle criticism why did you tag it?" first of all I can handle constructive criticism really well and would have replied to it but people starting drama and being really disrespectful is something else and I didn't want to explain myself over and over again that's why I'm writing this one post now.

Anyway I don't even know what kind of tumblr rules y'all read and if I just missed them but where did anyone ever say that you're only allowed to posts memes and jokes in tumblr tags. And if you have something to criticize you just can't tag it so... nobody ever sees it?? I'm sorry but where is the logic. Personally I love to read criticism on tv shows, books, movies and such. Because constructive criticism is so so important to broaden your horizon and see things from different perspectives, that's something so important yet people aren't willing to make an effort and don't even try to understand why other people think the way they do. That's exactly why ignorance and misunderstandings exist. Because nobody seems to be able to listen to people apart from the people who 100% agree with them. Everyone is just living in a bubble where one's self confidence gets booted because people are constantly validating your opinion and nobody ever dares to get out of there to see and understand other people's views because everyone just wants to have an opinion that is the "right" and "valid" one.

The ability to love a tv show and still being able to say "but I don't agree with character xy when he said this and that" or "my fave is problematic and I'm aware but this show means the world to me and I can love it and still understand why people might dislike certain aspects of it" is just hands down one of the best abilities to have on here. And y'all should learn to develop them because people who can't take criticism are seriously annoying.

I also didn't like that everyone just jumped to conclusions about me and my life. I'm sorry but do you know where I'm from and if homophobia is really common in my country?? No you don't. Do you know what has happened to me and what I've been through in life?? You don't either. You don't even know what aspects of the show I was criticizing because I didn't say it anywhere, yet y'all started writing essays about some scenes and why they weren't badly written the second I posted this. That is just proof of the fact that you can't stand people criticizing a show that you love. Because y'all didn't even care enough to ask me what my issues are with that show, you just freaked out because I was criticizing smth you love.

Anyway I'm sorry that this is so long thanks to everyone who read till the end, I really appreciate it. And I'm aware that I said "y'all" a lot because that's just how I always talk and ofc I know that there were also a lot of people who asked questions before freaking out and respected my opinion no matter if I they shared mine or not. Thank you so much for that<33

[vgckwb]

ML: Isolation Chapter 9: Window to the Soul

Adrien was on his way to school. He was looking at the news reports of Cat Noir’s latest appearance. There was a lot to it. After all, since Adrien talked to the receptionist first, there was a witness. He was watching the interview the reporters were doing with Manon and her mom, who Adrien was shocked to find out was news personality Nadja Chamack.

“Cat Noir was super nice!” Manon said. “He came right away, and he agreed to help me! Isn’t that sweet of him?”

The reporter interviewing her asked “And what did you ask him to do?”

Manon smiled. “I asked him to give someone a letter.”

“A letter?” The reporter asked. “To whom?”

Manon got a little sad. “My old babysitter.” She then got mad. “Everyone says she did something bad, but I don’t believe it! I know she couldn’t!”

The interview then turned over to Nadja, who was asked about her daughter’s actions. “Well, Manon has always been a little precocious” she said. “But I never thought she’d be able to do any of this.” She stared solemnly at the floor. “It’s because she can’t accept what happened with her old babysitter. Even now, she insists she’s innocent. I’ve tried telling her, but she can be so stubborn sometimes.” She sighed. “I guess she needs to grow up before she can come to terms with it all.”

Adrien felt scorned. Keep it together. Nobody knows yet. He then looked and saw Lila outside of the school. She was looking at something on her phone and tightening her fist Adrien was curious. He approached her slowly. He looked over her shoulder to see she was watching the same interview. “Lila?”

“Huh?” Lila said, turning around in surprise. “Oh Adrien, it was just you.”

“Sorry,” Adrien said. “I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”

Lila giggled. “It’s OK. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”

“So, you’re watching that interview as well?” Adrien asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah” Lila said. She looked sad. “I’m glad Cat Noir is willing to help people, but that little girl’s old babysitter was Marinette.”

“I see,” Adrien said. “You feeling alright?”

Lila smiled. “Yeah. I guess… To be honest, it’s hard to see someone praise Marinette. After everything she’s done to me…” She sighed.

“Try thinking about it from her perspective,” Adrien said. “You have trouble believing Marinette is nice. For her, it’s the opposite. She has trouble imagining her babysitter is mean.”

Lila sighed. “I guess…”

“Don’t worry,” Adrien said. “I’m sure she’ll understand the truth eventually. Well, we should get to class.” Adrien started walking to class.

Lila got a menacing smile on her face. “Perhaps sooner than you think.”

During break, Alya went down to Nino and Adrien’s desk. “Can you believe it?!” she said.

“What is it?” Nino asked.

“Cat Noir showed up again!” Alya reminded him.

“Uh, yeah. We’ve seen it. It’s all over the news” Nino said. “Are you going to get this worked up every time Cat Noir does something?”

Alya pouted. “You idiot! Don’t you even know how Cat Noir found Manon?”

“Ummmm, no?” Nino answered.

Alya slammed her hands on the desk. “It was through the Noir Notes website!”

Nino was surprised. “Woah, seriously?!”

“Uh, YEAH!” Alya said. “Took you long enough.”

Nino looked disappointed. “Sorry,” he said. Adrien giggled.

“You know what this means?” Alya asked. “Cat Noir has seen Noir Notes! AND he takes responses from it!”

“I’m happy for you Alya,” Adrien said.

“I wonder what I can say to get him to meet me!” Alya said.

“Hold on. You might be jumping the gun on that” Nino said. Alya looked confused. “Cat Noir is a hero. He only comes out to help those in need.”

“He’s right Alya” Adrien chimed in. “I mean, I’ve been checking Noir Notes routinely, and that seemed to be the first one he responded to.” Alya got disappointed. Adrien smiled. “Still, I’m sure if you have the right request, he might come and talk with you.”

Alya siled. “You’re right. Sometimes I get a little too overzealous on these kinds of things. I’m sure I’ll meet Cat Noir someday!”

“That’s the spirit!” Adrien said. Although meeting with Alya as Cat Noir could prove to be beneficial. It just needs to be arranged as a coincidence. Luckily, Alya’s very crafty. I might not need to arrange much on my end.

After school, Adrien had fencing. He enjoyed practicing with other people. Seeing new techniques really broadens his horizons in the world of fencing. While everyone was doing the same routines, everyone was doing them just slightly differently. Adrien was feeding off that energy.

Of course, no one was more energetic than Kagami. Adrien could watch her all day. Of course, that wouldn't be in the spirit of their agreement. So Adrien kept on practicing vigorously as well, hoping to open everyone else’s eyes.

After practice was over and everyone had changed, Kagami approached Adrien. “Oh, hey Kagmi. You were really at top form today.”

Kagami glared at him. “I wish the same could be said to you.”

“Excuse me?” Adrien said.

“Don’t get me wrong!” Kagami protested. “You were excellent.” She tightened her fist. “But it didn’t have the same energy as when we fought.”

“Huh” Adrien said.

“I thought you were taking things seriously,” Kagami said.

“I am,” Adrien said.

Kagami scowled. “Then why were you doing marginally worse?!” Adrien was shocked. “I’m more worried now that if your skill decreases, you won’t even stand a chance of not being manipulated by Chloe, let alone Lila.”

Adrien laughed. “You don’t have to worry. At least, about Chloe. We’ve been friends for a lifetime. I know all of Chloe’s tricks, so they don’t affect me.”

“Friends?” Kagami said.

“Yeah. In fact, she and her friend Sabrina are coming over tonight” Adrien clarified. “I’m not sure how I’ve unimproved, but I hope to work on it for the next class. Well, seeya.” Adrien walked off. Kagmi grinned.

“Wow!” Sabrina said, looking around Adrien’s room.”This place has everything!” Adrien smiled, though it felt hollow.

Chloe approached him. “I know that look,” she said. “What’s wrong?”

Adrien rubbed the back of his head. “Well…” He sighed. “I get a little sad when someone compliments my room.”

“Oh” Sabirna said, turning around. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Adrien said. “It IS a nice room and all. It’s just…” he sighed again. “A lot of this stuff was here to keep me in here, you know?” Sabrina looked at him curiously. “All I ever wanted was to get out and see the world for what it really is.”

“Oh. I see” Sabrina said.

Adrien sensed her sadness. “But hey, that doesn't mean I don’t enjoy the stuff in here. For instance…” He walked over to the foosball table. “I’ve gotten really good at foosball.”

“HAH!” said Chloe. “Don’t forget who taught you everything you knew.”

“Oh you’re a teacher now?” Adrien said.

“Why don’t we settle this then?” Chloe said.

“Wha-what’s going on?” Sabrina said.

“It’s nothing, Sabrina,” Chloe said.

“Chloe and I just have a long standing foosball rivalry” Adrien said.

“No matter how many games we play, we appear to be evenly matched” Chloe said.

“I see,” Sabrina said. “Well, I’d sure love to see two masters play.”

“So, what do ya say?” Adrien asked.

“Bring it on!” Chloe responded. They got on either side of the table, and began playing. Sabrina watched from the goal Adrien was trying to get into, no doubt to see whenever Chloe got a goal. However, as they said, they were evenly matched.

Eventually though, Adrien won the match. “Told ya” Adrien said.

“Grrrrrrr” Chloe growled. “Next time, I’ll win for sure!”

Sabrina laughed. They both looked at her. “I’m sorry. It’s just, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Chloe so worked up. I kind of miss that part of her.”

Chloe blushed slightly. She sighed and said “Good game either way, right?” Reaching out her hand. Adrien shook it. They spent the rest of the evening hanging out in Adrien’s room, until Sabrina’s dad called to pick her up.

After she left, Chloe looked at Adrien and said “I think I should get going too.”

“Hey” Adrien said. “Sabrina’s really nice.”

Chloe smiled. “Yeah.”

“Maybe you should be more open with her,” Adrien said.

Chloe was caught off guard, but quickly went back on it. “Y-You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Adrien looked sad. “Look” Chloe sighed. “It’s not that I don’t care. I just… Things are more complicated than they appear sometimes. You’re new to society and such. I just don’t want to see you getting hurt.”

Adrien was curious. “Where did that come from?” Chloe glared at Adrien. Adrien nervously smiled. “Sorry.”

Chloe let go of her anger. She looked off to the side. “I want to be more earnest with Sabrina, but...”

So I was right. Whatever Lila has on Chloe is related to Sabrina. I better not push it for now. “I understand Chloe. You go at your own pace.”

Chloe smiled. “Thanks Adrien.” She left.

Adrien went to his computer and messaged Marinette. “Hey, so since Nathalie knows your secret, how long before we can let someone else in?”

“You want to let someone else in on all of this?”

“Well, if we can trust them. More allies is always better.”

“I guess…”

“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“...Well, I’m not ready to let anyone in just yet.”

“That’s OK. Hey, did you get the letter?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Adrien found that weird. “Why?”

“It’s personal.”

“OK. So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Well, that shoot is coming up. To be honest, I’ve always wanted to watch one of your shoots.”

Adrien blushed. “Oh? So, you wanna come out for it?”

“NO! Sorry. No. But I was wondering if you could tell me about it when we meet up Saturday. Your shoot’s the day before, right?”

Adrien smiled. “Yup. Although, to be honest, I’m not sure how I would describe a shoot. However, I do have an idea that could work. Just leave it to me.”

“OK.”

“Well, good night.”

“Good night.”

The next day at school, as Chloe was walking the halls, she got approached by Kagami. “Hey” Kagami said.

Chloe was surprised. “What do you want?”

Kagami leaned in and whispered “I know about what’s going on. I want to help.”

Chloe felt frightened, confused, and angry. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Huh? You know. With Lila” Kagami spoke back.

“Look, just because you two don’t get along, there’s no point in dragging me into it!” Chloe protested.

Kagami stared into Chloe’s eyes. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“As far as I’m concerned, you keep your petty squabbles to yourself!” Chloe said. “There are bigger things I need to worry about!”

Kagami smiled. “I see. Thank you. This has been eye opening. Alright, I'll leave you alone.”

“Huh?” Chloe said.

“But know this: Salvation is closer to you than you think,” Kagami said. She walked off.

Chloe was confused. “What?”

After school, Adrien got a text from Kagami asking to meet. Adrien met up with her in secret. “So, what’s this about?”

“Who’s your source?” Kagami said.

“Pardon?” Adrien said.

“Who told you Lila was bad?” Kagami asked “I asked Chloe if it was her today.” Adrien tensed up. “It wasn’t her. So who is it?”

“Why do you need to know?” Adrien asked. “Aren’t we after the same thing?”

“Yeah, but how long do you think that will be enough for?” Kagami scowled back at him. “I’m fine with taking down Lila, but what about after?” Adrien got curious. “Are we friends, or is this a business deal to you, Mr. Hotshot Model?”

Adrien glared at her. “I have no intention of backstabbing you.”

“Then let me in!” Kagami said.

“Unfortunately, that’s not up to my discretion” Adrien sniped back.

Kagami stared at his eyes now. “Oh I see. That explains everything.” Adrien was confused. “Alright. I’ll back off for now.”

“Wait!” Adrien called out. “What did you figure out?”

Kagami chuckled. “You’re protecting someone. You have a reason for getting this defensive.”

“How could you tell?” Adrien asked.

“Simple,” Kagami said. “You had the same look in your eyes that Chloe had when I confronted her. She’s protecting someone, and since you two grew up in such close quarters, I assume you two have picked up similar traits.”

Adrien smiled. “I see.”

“This also explains practice yesterday,” Kagami said. Adrien was confused further. Kagami smiled. “The first day, I had challenged your honor. That day, you had something to fight for, as you do now. But at practice yesterday, well, you were just practicing. You do better when you have something to fight for.”

“Huh” Adrien said. Kagami’s insight was really helpful here. Adrien smiled. “Thank you, Kagami.”

Kagami got embarrassed. “You’re-you’re welcome.” They stood there. Kagami then awkwardly left and said “Well, seeya!”

“Seeya later then” Adrien said, cheerfully. He walked back to the front of the school, as he was expecting his bodyguard to show up any minute now.

“Adrien!” Lila called out. Adrien turned around and waved. Lila rushed to him.

“Hey Lila. What’s up?” Adrien asked.

“I just wanna say, I thought about what you said,” Lila told him. “And you’re right. She’ll learn the truth eventually.”

It was said innocently enough, but Adrien looked into her eyes, like Kagami inadvertently taught him. He could sense the malice in them. Just what is she planning?

Lila looked back at Adrien. “Oh? Staring at my eyes? You know, I could get the wrong idea about that, you know?”

“What?” Adrien said. “Oh, sorry.”

“It’s OK,” Lila said. “I don’t mind.”

Adrien’s bodyguard pulled up. “Well, there’s my ride. I should get going. Seeya!”

“Bye!” Lila said.

Adrien got in the car, and it pulled off. Adrien thought to himself. Of course. Lila couldn’t have one what she did if she couldn’t catch people off-guard. This might be a bigger project than I had anticipated. He thought about what Nathalie said. I could use some parental guidance.

[lostinthewiind]

New Tactics

Grady Travis - Fury

Wow, my first time writing something that isn’t Band of Brothers! It’s about time I broadened my horizons, goddamn!

This one is for @warmommy​. I hope you like it Brecken! I love you <3

Warnings: a little bit steamy, a little bit naughty, a lot of fun ;)

Tag List: @warmommy @gottapenny @croatianbagudna @scissorsfordoc @wexhappyxfew @curraheev @mayhem24-7forever @one-who-hunts-eagles @bandofmarvels @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @wildwilliamguarnere @majwinters @theonetryingtolive @higgles123 @those-dusty-jump-wings @medievalfangirl​ @maiden-of-gondor​ @whoabrekker​ @thefricklefracklesin​ @junojelli​ @iamaboojum​

“Hey, Y/N!” you heard the familiar voice of Grady call your name as you started walking away from the tank. You tried to keep moving, hoping maybe he would give up and talk to you about whatever it was he wanted to talk about when you got back. You weren’t so lucky, however. “Y/N!” he called again. “Where are you going?”

Stopping in your tracks, you spun around, the mud beneath your boots squishing as you did so. Holding up your shower bag and change of clothes, you narrowed your eyes at him. “Take a wild fucking guess.”

“Oh.” he nodded, just his head sticking out from the tank. “Okay, it can wait.”

You were surprised that Grady was actually going to let you go without even a little bit of a fight, but then it just sparked your curiosity. Huffing, you placed a hand on your side. “What can wait?”

“I was just hoping you could come to take a look at this damn panel in here,” he answered. “I’ve been at it for hours now and I can’t figure out how to fix it.”

You shook your head slightly and chuckled at his determination even though he had been trying for the past two days to fix the circuit panel inside of the tank with no progress at all. “Well then, it’ll still be fucked up when I get back,” you assured him. “I’ll take a look later.”

“Thanks.”

“Wow, you’re being so nice today.” you chuckled as you turned to leave. “But I know this tactic, and whatever you want from me, the answer is no.”

You heard a slightly defeated huff as you turned again and continued to head toward the showers. With belongings in hand, you slipped past the final few male stragglers as they exited the showering facilities and made your way into the small, dinky building.

It took you a long time before you had your showering situation figured out, but after you worked hard and earned the respect of your male counterparts, you made a collective deal that between six and six-thirty in both the morning and evening, the shower was to be empty so you could use it. Every once in a while there was a new guy or someone just finishing up when you arrived, but for the most part, the rule was followed by all.

Setting your stuff down on the damp counter — because no matter how hard you tried, you could never teach a man (especially an army man) how to clean up after themselves — you dug through the small bad for your soap and began to undress.

Like usual, your eyes kept darting toward the door, but once you were situated in a shower stall and had the warm water running over your body, all worry about being walked in on was rinsed away along with the dirt, sweat, and just general grime on your skin.

Lathering the soap between your hands, you gathered up as much foam as you could before beginning to work over your body quickly but efficiently. As much as you wished you could just stand under the water for hours on end and get away from the stress of the war for a little while, you were well aware that once your allotted half-hour was up, there would be angry men banging on the door if you were still inside.

However, there were still times when your mind began to wander while you were showering, and although you would deny it to anyone who asked, they were often of the same thing. It had been years since you had gotten anything even remotely close to sex and in those few minutes, while you were naked and had your hands running all over your body, the thoughts just came naturally.

Eventually, though, you had to pull your mind out of the gutter and finish up. Rinsing your body off, you lathered up your bar of soap once more and used the suds to wash your tangled, dirty hair.

Stepping directly under the stream, you closed your eyes and let the water wash away the dirt and soap from your hair, some of the runoff running down your face in the process.

While your eyes were closed and your head was under the water, you had missed the sound of the door opening, followed by footsteps that were otherwise pretty noticeable on the wet floor.

You were none the wiser to your visitor until you felt two large, calloused hands on your sides. With a shriek, you jumped forward, your eyes opening as you did so and letting soap into them, which made you hiss with pain. With eyes forced shut, you felt around blindly for your towel before wrapping it tightly around your dripping body. “What the hell?!” you began to use the towel to wipe your eyes. “Who the fuck is that?”

“It’s just me.” you didn’t even need to see the man to know who it was; the voice gave it all away.

Opening your eyes and attempting to ignore the stinging pain from the soap, you glared at him, your arms holding the towel firmly around your otherwise completely nude body. “Grady, what are you doing in here?” you snapped. “You know better than anyone that this is my time to shower! Why can’t I just shower in peace? Half an hour, that’s all I ask.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.” his stance and words didn’t falter for even a second as he stood confidently in front of you, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the side of the shower stall. “You know, after what happened last week.”

“Oh, Grady, for the last time, he was a new guy, he didn’t know any better!” you felt the pain increase again and wiped them with the corner of the towel once more. “I promise you, I can shower on my own. I’m a big girl.”

“Yeah, well, what if I don’t want you to shower on your own?” he posed the question that confused you to no end.

From the other side of the still-running water stream, you cocked an eyebrow and scrunched up your face with a puzzled look. “What are you talking about?” you frankly weren’t in the mood to play these sorts of games with him. “Like, you wanna stand watch while I shower?”

“Sort of.” he shrugged, his broad shoulders rising ever-so-slightly. “Except, I don’t want to stand out there.” he gestured to the door as he took a single step toward you. “I want to stand in here. With you.”

You attempted to make sense of what he was saying, but after a few seconds of trying, you gave up. “Grady, I have no idea what you’re trying to say to me right now, but if it has anything to do with what I think it does, you already know that the answer is no.”

“The answer with you is always no.” Grady huffed, taking yet another step closer, the only thing separating the two of you being the shower stream now. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“Fun isn’t what I’m looking for.”

“Fun is what everyone is looking for.” he gripped the hem of his dirty, grease-stained shirt before pulling it over his head. Then, with a lazy flick of his wrist, he tossed it away. You wanted to tell him to stop, but there were no words as you stood, frozen, watching him. Next, he unbuckled the belt of his pants and let them fall down his legs before stepping out of them.

Your breathing hitched as your eyes drifted down to his final item of clothing, but instead of removing his underwear, Grady simply left them on and stepped under the water.

“What are you doing?” the anger came back for a moment.

Grady cupped his hands before splashing the collected water onto his face. “Showering, what does it look like?”

“Well, yeah, no shit, but it’s still my turn.” you reached out with a single hand and pushed him back. “I still have soap in my hair, so will you please put your clothes back on and get lost so I can finish up here?”

Moving back a few inches, Grady ushered you toward the water. “Go ahead. I’m not stopping you.”

“Grady, please.” you were beginning to feel the undeniable heat and familiar ache between your legs grow. “Please, just let me shower alone. I don’t have much time left.”

“Like I said, I’m not stopping you.” he folded his arms over his chest, his skin slick and wet and very irresistible.

Rolling your eyes, you finally gave in to his stupid games and decided to just rinse your hair and then get the hell out of there. You had no idea what had gotten into Grady. While it wasn’t uncommon for him to try and get you to sleep with him, and it wasn’t unusual for the two of you to jokingly flirt with each other here and there, he had never actually tried this hard before.

Letting out an annoyed sigh, you looked him dead in the eyes. “Fine.” you removed the towel and slung it over the stall partition. “But you stay over there.”

“I can’t make any promises.” his eyes traveled up and down your body as you turned your back to him and continued rinsing the remaining soap out of your hair.

You weren’t surprised when you felt his hands on your waist again, but you did gasp a little when he dipped his head down and pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “I can be very persuasive when I want to,” he whispered into your ear, sending chills down your spine.

“I can tell.” you breathed out, your mind focusing solely on how his hands and mouth were moving on your body. “If this is just yet another tactic to get whatever it is that you want from me, it’s working.”

“Good.” he spun you around and hooked his hands under your ass before picking you up. “But this isn’t about that.”

You furrowed your brows at him. “It isn’t? Then what is it about?” you asked as he pressed your back against the partition and continued pressing kisses to and nipping at the skin on your neck.

“It’s about us.” he began to maneuver his way out of his boxers. “You want sex, I want sex, we’re both here. It just makes sense.”

“Okay.” you wrapped your arms around his neck and let your eyes flutter shut, waiting for whatever pleasure was about to come. “Just be quick.”

“I’ll try my-”

Grady’s words were cut off by banging on the door and shouting. Obviously, your time was up. “No.” you almost whimpered.

A sly smirk spread across Grady’s face as he put you back down and stepped away. “If only you hadn’t fought me so hard.” he started pulling his clothes back on. “Meet me back here tonight at six. We can finish what we started.”

Grabbing for your towel once more, you looked up at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” he snaked his hand up and under your towel and ran a finger over your folds. “See you then.”

Your knees wobbled at his actions and words. “Okay, see you then.”