#I just think about these two a lot and like. they're such good friends in my heart
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Some more DA:TV and related snippets from Sylvia Feketekuty, Part 3. rest of post under a cut due to length and spoilers. [Post One, Post Two]
Ran out of characters or something in post 2. :)
User: "I LOVE the line "a raw, strangling fear, struck somewhere deep past the heart". It's beautiful and it resonates with me since I myself struggle with anxiety. Now for the questions! 1) Can you talk more about the banter between Emmrich and Harding after we start romancing him? What is her motivation behind it? Is she critical of their relationship or is she worried about Emmrich? 2) I love the argument Rook and Emmrich have before Tearstone Island, it gives nice depth to their relationship. But what did Emmrich think he would accomplish with that conversation? Did he want to break up with Rook because he thought it would be easier for him if something happened to Rook? 3) Not a question but I love Hezenkoss. Such a dedicated hater lol. -- Sylvia Feketekuty: "That was one of the first lines where I started to feel I had a handle on his voice in the first draft, so that means a lot to hear. (And thank you for noting the team effort, I got a lot of great feeback from the other writers and the editors on Emmrich. He wouldn't be as good without them.) On to questions: 1) My personal take: I think Harding is worried because she's very perceptively noticed how hard Emmrich's fallen for Rook, and that he's a man of large emotions. (And because they become pretty good friends over the course of the game.) 2) I think Emmrich let his anxieties run away with him, afraid that this romance wasn't, couldn't possibly be the One True Love he so wanted, and that's how his fear expressed itself. (Did he WANT to break up? No, but he was bracing himself in case Rook did think it was only a fling and so on and so forth, they should get it out in the open, and so on.) 3) Thank you! I loved writing her. She will always be a hater until her (un)dying day."" [source, two, three, four, five, six] -- John Epler: "someday we'll get the Hezenkoss/Anaris reluctant team-up the world deserves" [source] -- Sylvia: "Somehow, in the realm of pure imagination, they're already trying to strangle each other." [source] -- User: "Very important question- would Anaris finger gun? (Finger crossbow?)" -- John: "as a man defined primarily by his tremendous insecurities Anaris also takes himself incredibly seriously and unconsciously mirrors Elgar'nan, an elf he both loathes and desperately wishes he were so the real question is, would Elgar'nan finger gun?" [source]
User: "On my 1st run I thought some choices felt like the 'bad' ones and avoided them - Lich Emmerich, Harding's Anger, Qunari Taash etc. But on my 2nd run I was so pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't the case! None of the companion choices feel right or wrong, just different, and that's fantastic." / Sylvia: "Thanks! We tried to make either choice compelling, to have something for different players either way. So I'm so glad to hear that." [source]
User, on Manfred winning a character award: "Congrats Manfred we knew you had it in you!" / Sylvia: "He did it! My little skeleton pal did it! (Especial thanks to the animators and voice actor, Matt Mercer, because like 90% of his personality lives in those gangly limbs and his hissing)" [source]
User: "I just wanted to say that Emmerich and Josephine are so interesting and well-written" / Sylvia: "I feel very lucky I got to bring them into DA, with teams that went for them 100%." [source]
User: "I enjoyed Emmrich's addendum to the codex about Templars in Nevarra: are they primarily there as backup if something goes profoundly wrong? Would they ever get someone who just wants to help down in the Necropolis, pretty please? (also <3 Vorgoth, they're great)" / Sylvia: ""are they primarily there as backup if something goes profoundly wrong?" That was my own take. You don't NOT want Templars, in case some ritual gets disrupted in an utterly disastrous fashion. But other times...the Mortalitasi flex their clout. "Would they ever get someone who just wants to help down in the Necropolis, pretty please?" Some Watchers might not be immune to flattery. I think a few templars could be all right under some circumstances, but that they'd be assigned a mage. (A bit of a reverse of the southern mage-templar pairs.) "(also <3 Vorgoth, they're great)" Thank you! I was so pumped when I saw the final art for them, everything I'd dreamed. (And their voice actor, Brent Mukai, was amazing.)" [source, two, three]
User: "I wanted to ask you what you think nevarran wedding attire might look like? or if you’ve considered it? asking for science." / Sylvia: "Geeze, that's a good question. I imagine the couple would exchange some custom-made grave gold pieces to mark the occasion, given how important it is in Nevarra. But other than that, you should let your imagination run wild." [source]
User: "Is seeing Josephine as Asexual or part of the Ace Spectrum a valid interpretation of her character?" / Sylvia: "Totally, if that's how you want to see the character and relationship. (My policy is generally that if it's not directly contradicted in the game, you can take that kind of thing as a valid read of the character.)" [source]
Sylvia: "I'll say this (spoiler free): there's a scene in "Walking the Graves" where I felt Emmrich's voice finally click for me on the first draft, so that one's special to me." [source]
User: "I remembered some questions I had about Emmrich.. Can he play any instruments? I always invision him playing a pipe organ or maybe violin! If not, are there any he would like to learn? 😊 Also, I was curious, can he ice skate? out on that frozen Nevarran lake in winter" / Sylvia: "Those are interesting questions. Because they're something I never considered or wrote, there's no real canon there yet. I see Emmrich as more an appreciator of music than a musician, but can't rule it out. As for ice-skating, I'm not even sure we've shown that in Thedas. I think Emmrich would enjoy it though. UPDATE: a friend reminded me about this tidbit from World of Thedas 2: "Ice skating – during the winter in Nevarra, people often skate on the frozen over Minanter river." So it's canon now. Emmrich ice-skates. He instantly manifests a scarf when doing so. (I fall on my sword for forgetting this.)" [source, two, three]
User: "about Josephine: what would her ideal/dream wedding be? I was tickled when I read about that in her letter to her Inquisitor I just have to know" / Sylvia: "what a delightful question in turn! I think she'd want a big, flower-filled, no-holds barred wedding at her family's estate. All her relatives, friends she made in the Inquisition, the Inquisitor's relatives (if they have any/keep in touch.) She'd begin planning 16 months in advance." [source]
Sylvia: "Aw thank you! (On behalf of me, and the rest of the team, so many people worked so hard on our eccentric necromancer man.)" [source]
Sylvia: "The Mourn Watch and Emmrich are a bit eccentric, but I really wanted their reverence for the dead (and the living) to feel genuine." [source]
User: "As someone who himself gets awful pangs about the thought of death and nothingness, it was really refreshing to see a character have those same thoughts as me, especially as he also happens to be a Necromancer who is around death daily." / Sylvia: "You're welcome, and thanks for the kind words. It's a familiar thing for me too, so I really wanted to talk about it. I suspect it's far more common than we might think." [source]
User: "My HOF was a spirit healer, very kind & very curious, & for years I've considered how that special connection to spirits might lend itself to an interest in Thedan necromancy & puzzling out where spirits & souls begin & end. Emmrich, Manfred/Curiosity and the wisps gave me so much to think about!" / Sylvia: "Thank you so much! And that's interesting about your HOF. They may've found some kindred spirits if they ever ventured further north." [source]
User: "No questions other than thank you and the team for Emmrich and Nevarra / The Mourn Watch. Seeing death treated with such kindness, empathy and as beautiful renewal rather than grim end is so refreshing and personal to me, it was a great experience to have!" / Sylvia: "That's one of the things I really wanted to express in Emmrich's arc, so I'm so glad you felt that way." [source]
User: "I feel that my Rook would want to learn more about the Mourn Watch after saving the world." / Sylvia: "Emmrich and the Watchers would love that. Emmrich probably has like, five lectures he could rattle off without preparation for your Rook already, haha." [source]
User: "do you have any favorite tidbits about Audric or Myrna that you can share?" / Sylvia: "As for tidbits, hrm. I did post something on what Audric's up to these days. Nothing surprising, but he's doing well! And I never wrote it in-game, so it lives in the hazy world of "only canon in my head": while Emmrich doesn't come from nobility, Myrna does-the Van Markham branch. She had the finest education, even before the Watchers. She doesn't play it up much, though. Her real passion's her work. And the theater. (I did a small bit about her love of theater here [link or see Post Two]. I think she's a regular attendee.)" [source, two, three]
Sylvia: "I also really wanted to explore more of the Necropolis ever since I first read about it. I'm very lucky the team and I finally got to show everyone the crypts..." [source]
User: "he stories, the worldbuilding, the characters, the locations, I loved it all so much I played my MW Rook twice" / Sylvia: "Nice. The Mourn Watch appreciates your studious interest in the hallowed art of necromancy." [source]
Sylvia: "thank you on behalf of the whole team, as you've surmised there were a lot of people bringing him to life. (Especial props to Nick Borraine, his VA, who's wonderful in the role.)" [source]
Sylvia: "It always makes me happy when people mention the short stories, and glad you enjoyed meeting (and perhaps romancing...) Emmrich." [source]
Sylvia, on Vorgoth: "I'm afraid I deliberately left our cloak-shrouded Watcher a mystery. But I'll say this: I'm sure they'd show your Rook in that picture their art collection, an honor Vorgoth bestows only on those they like or trust." [source]
User: "does the watch have any rules in regards to courtship/marriage between fellow watchers? An does Emmrich lecture at the Necropolis or at the College of Magi in Cumberland?" / Sylvia: "1) I actually got into that a little here [link or see Post Two]. Short story, it's not forbidden for mages within Circles to court or marry, so no particular rules there I think. 2) That is a very good question. Full disclosure, I am answering on the fly with what I think makes most sense. I can see Emmrich doing a bit of both in his younger days. But as he grew older, more specialized in his field, and had more MW responsibilities, he probably worked more out of the Necropolis. (And prefers it anyhow.) By the time DAV starts, it's probably been years since he was in Cumberland." [source, two, three]
User: "Thank you for your moving portrayal of thanatophobia. While most people have some fear of death, it was amazing to see the thanatophobic panic attacks etc portrayed so accurately." / Sylvia: "Thanks - they're not an unfamiliar phenomenon to me, I wanted Emmrich to try to get across that helplessness and wretched terror. (I suspect more people are affected by them than we commonly talk about.)" [source]
User: "whoever decided “DA liches are immortal protectors and not always evil?” Chef’s kiss. It’s all I’ve ever wanted!" / Sylvia: "Thanks again! It was in Emmrich's first draft. The other writers and editors gave me good feeback on lichdom and the philosophy behind it especially" [source]
User: "I wonder, did you prefer writing for either lich Emmrich or mortal? I would imagine it's a bit different." / Sylvia: "I wouldn't say I had a favorite, but it was fun to try to figure out what approach to take in scenes that had split lich/mortal lines. I didn't want Emmrich to be unrecognizable as a lich, but I did want him to occasionally be a little different, slowly absorbing what he'd become. We see him at the start of this new stage of his existence, so I think even by the end of Veilguard he's still just at the very start of adjusting to, and exploring, what he is now. I liked giving him that wonder!" [source, two]
Sylvia: "The Memorial Gardens were the heart of the Necropolis to me, the level artists and level designer and our audio team worked so much magic there. (And the lighting team! First time I saw it properly lit I think I clapped.)" [source]
User: "Also wanted to know if you wrote Josephine’s letter to Inquisitor if romanced?" / Sylvia: "I did write that letter, thanks! It was a joy to return to Josephine, even in a codex sent to her dearest Inquisitor." [source]
Sylvia on where Emmrich sleeps: "As to his sleeping arrangements, I gave a tantalizing (non) answer here [[link] or see [Post Two]]. (Though I think he'd prefer a proper bed, whatever form it takes. Emmrich's too old to be sleeping on cots like a student anymore.)" [source]
Sylvia: "So glad the team and I got to crack open the ancient doors of the Grand Necopolis, I've been curious about it too ever since reading about it eons ago. (And very glad you're liking MW Rook, I really wanted things to feel different when chatting with Emmrich as a Watcher yourself!)" [source]
User: "I enjoyed Johanna IMMENSELY and she is most definitely my favourite villain of all time now, so thank you for her as well!" / Sylvia: "She was a treat to write. (And Hezenkoss would 100% applaud you on your fine judgement and obvious taste.)" [source]
Sylvia on Emmrich's fear: "I'm not unfamiliar with that fear either, and it means a great deal to hear getting to know Emmrich helped you out even a little. (And happy to hear you dug Manfred!)" [source]
Sylvia: "I'm especially glad you liked the battle theme. Our music director instantly got the tone of Emmrich's arc, he and the audio team spun off so many great tracks from that core theme." [source]
User on Emmrich: "He's a brilliant character and everyone involved in his creation should be very proud!" / Sylvia: "There were a lot of people working on him, I was lucky so many people got onboard right away with our professor of necromancy. And I loved writing him chatting with Bellara, the mentor/student relationship was fun to hash out with her writer." [source]
User: "(1/2) Hello Sylvia! Like everyone else, I love Emmrich, but I also wanted to say thank you for your work in DAI. Josie was my first romance in DA and I love her a lot. My question had to do with her codex entry in Veilguard for a romanced Inquisitor: (2/2) Her letter in Veilguard implies she hasn't married yet, 10 years later. Josie is so image-conscious in how she conducts herself, so I was surprised she would put off marriage for that long as the first born noble of her house. Curious what the idea behind it was if you can share." / Sylvia: "Thank you! I'm honored to hear Josepine was your first DA romance. Re: marriage, you're right, that is a big time gap. I basically didn't want to surprise returning players with a marriage that had already happened to their Inquisitor offscreen. I'm sure Josephine has kept busy with world affairs, and so has the Inquisitor, which isn't a bad reason it's taken so long. But I thought it'd be more engaging for players to imagine the proposal, how they'd react, what the wedding would be like, as something good happening to them in the future." [source, two]
User: "I wanted to ask about banter I saw online; why does Taash say Emmrich smells like potash? Isn't that a bad smell, like rotten eggs? He doesn't strike me as a smelly person outside of being around the dead. Maybe Trick would know too" / Trick Weekes: "IIRC, I based it on residual scents that would come from chemicals -- can't remember whether it was what you'd get from working with embalming liquids or something used to style hair. That said, Taash comments on scents non-adaari can't detect, so it's not like he smells bad to normal people." [source] / Sylvia: "Chiming in late, but what Trick said. Taash has an incredible sense of smell, but they're detecting the tiny residuals. (Which is why poor Taash can smell that burial Emmrich helped with, even though he scrubbed down thoroughly afterwards. Gotta keep hygienic!)" [source]
User: "I wish more games had Romances like this, he was just simply perfect. [Emmrich] believably cares for Rook." / Sylvia: "I'm glad that part felt heartfelt, it was one of the cores of his romance for me." [source]
User: "What inspired you to want to go into writing for games? Or just writing in general?" / Sylvia: "I've played games since I was about 5 years old and that's what really did it. I fell in love at once with these cool, weird little worlds you could visit as someone else. As for writing in general, it feels goofy (or ominous) to call it a Calling, but it's just something I've always enjoyed doing. It's also probably what I'm best at, which means I'm unfathomably lucky I ended up at BioWare. I don't think I would've been happy until I was doing game writing somewhere, somehow!" [source, two]
User: "I have two questions about his and Johanna's childhood. 1. How and when did he and her(johanna) meet? 2. What was the story between him and her back then? Sorry if it's too long a question. Thank you! Oh I'm so sorry, how could I forget another important question😭😓 3. How tall do you think he is👀 He's almost as tall as Taash!" / Sylvia: "I have not forgotten the other two questions, I'll get to them later (it's just getting late here) but this one's a little easier. I THINK he's about 6 foot 2 inches without his boots, so about 6 foot 3 with them on. (A character artist would have to confirm or deny if I'm remembering right.)" [source]
Sylvia on her time at BioWare: "So I gt a 5 year award statue that looked like a glass disc, and then we swapped over the to the BioWare Character award statues so I got Wrex as my 10th one. (I think I remember people who'd been around earlier than me with those clocks on their desks!)" [source]
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost#lgbtq#mass effect#dragon age: tevinter nights
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No one asked, but here's my updated top ten hellaverse ships (both canon and not)
10) Stella x Striker
What can I say? I love an evil couple. I think these two look pretty hot together, and it's interesting how Striker seems to respect Stella despite hating blue bloods. These two aren't canon, but I wouldn't mind if they were
9) RadioRose
Despite having mixed feelings on Alastor, I think these two are just so cute. Either as a couple or just queer platonic partners, I don't care. Rosie seems to be the only person to make Alastor genuinely smile, and she's the only one who can touch him. There's a special bond there I really like
8) Verosika Mayday x Wally Wackford
So this is the biggest crack ship on this list, but I think in theory, it's so cute. I really want Verosika to be happy, and Wally, despite being a bit of a scammer, is really sweet. I'm totally cool with Verosika ending up with Barbie as well, but I slightly prefer Wally. I wonder if they will have more interactions in future episodes.
7) Fizzmodeus
Is this controversial? Probably. I know Fizzarolli and Asmodeus are so loved in this fandom, so putting them at number 7 is awful...but they aren't my favorite. I do like them, and I think they're really cute! I just have ships I like more, but that doesn't take away how sweet these two can be. Sometimes obnoxiously sweet heh. So yeah, no disrespect to these two
6) M&M
So these two were at first kinda meh for me, but over time, I've grown to love them. They have a pretty healthy relationship, and I always hate when someone bothers Millie for marrying Moxxie or saying Moxxie isn't a good enough husband. These two clearly love and respect each other and clearly grow together with every episode.
5) Staticmoth
Like I said, I love an evil couple. Valentino is a monster, and Vox is deplorable. That doesn't stop me from loving them as a couple and thinking they are cute. I think they both should die, but also would be sad cause come on, they're cute together.
4) Cherrisnake
I love Sir Pentious, I love Cherri Bomb, so obviously, them together is a fun pair. I shipped these two before the show came out and was so excited to see Pen having a crush on Cherri. They kinda remind me of the early versions of M&M, but they need a lot more time. Cherri isn't ready to accept love, and Sir Pentious is well...in a different world. I can't wait to see these two develop and become an actual couple.
3) Adamsapple
So this and Lucilith could be here. Lucifer being happy is the main objective, and its Adamsapple is so fun. They clearly have a history, and there's a lot of feelings. If Adam comes back in season 2, I'd love to see this be fleshed out. I doubt they'd be a couple, but maybe friends? Who knows. I'm fine with this one not being canon, and just something fun in the fandom
2) Stolitz
Stoltiz is pretty important to me because it really got me involved in the fandom. I've been watching Helluva Boss since the beginning, but episode one of season two had me from casual watcher to actual fan. Blitzø is one of the characters I really relate to, and Stolas is just a really well written character. I love the development of these two and they are worth waiting for. I really gotta draw some fanart of them because they are everything
1) Huskerdust
Are you surprised? You must be new. These two are my everything and all time otp in the Hellaverse. I've talked so much about why I love them, and I will continue to do so until I can't any longer. Angel and Husk are not only my favorite characters individually, but their growing friendship and eventual relationship are just so ughhhh. I love these losers, and they will always be number one.
Thanks for reading my nonsense
Have a good one 💜💜
#helluva boss#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#angel dust#husk#stoltiz#striker#helluva stella#verosika mayday#wally wackford#m&m helluva boss#moxxie knolastname#millie knolastname#valentino#vox#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel vox#angelhusk#sir pentious#cherri bomb#cherrisnake#fizzmodeus#fizzaozzie#fizzarolli#asmodeus#adamsapple#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel adam#lucililith#stolas goetia
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Just saw a hot take that boils down to "women generally do traditional female gender role stuff specifically because they are afraid of the men in their lives, this goes extra for trans women". Which like. I get where they're coming from, but it's a take that I feel circles back around into misogyny by refusing to acknowledge that some women do "traditional female gender role" stuff by choice and not by coercion. Like my mother and grandmother were staunch feminists who both take pride in their ability to cook and take care of a family and host people because those are skills that they have practiced and worked on. And those skills aren't even gender locked, my mother has been teaching my younger brothers to cook and now they also take pride in having that skill. Also I don't know about y'all but in my personal experience every time I have done something like clean or cook out of fear of negative consequences, that turned out to be an explicitly abusive situation, and while I know abuse is common I refuse to believe it is the only potential ending point for women, cis and trans alike. Idk it just seems like a very sad take on the world, and I don't really like it because like I said it refuses to leave room for choice and agency and pride in these skills, it refuses to leave space for the lived reality of me and my family
it also way downplays the extent to which women are brainwashed and abused by their mothers and the other women into being Good Women lol like hey it's a patriarchy but a lot of women are complicit in a very active way so a lot of times the patriarchy itself is a distant passive thing
This goes extra when you add the trans element. I'd have to see the actual post to fully comment on it but trans women should recognize that to whatever extent they consider "men" their enemy they should feel the exact same way about cis women. I'm not saying I personally think either cis men or cis women are The Enemy, but like, if you're going to make a big deal about how much trans women have to fear from Men, then yeah, you need to extend that to cis women, who may not directly hate crime us with their own two hands but are more often than not EXTREMELY ENTHUSIASTIC about fucking us up. There are cis women who fought for decades for things like abortion rights only to immediately toss lighter fluid all over everything they worked so hard for because conservatives who proudly admit to wanting The Handmaid's Tale IRL promised they'd keep trans children from playing volleyball with their friends. Cis men may physically assault us more often, but how often is it because a White woman screamed about there being a man in the women's bathroom?
Again, I'd have to actually see the post for myself to be sure, but when I read "women (...) afraid of men are their lives, this goes extra for trans women" it feels like the issue with people just wanting their oppression to be 1:1 with how it works for cis women lol. And if it's making a point about how trans women should fear trans men? Oh, golly, that would be fucking brainless and pathetic.
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Y’know sometimes I’m like ‘is aruani’s first time an accident?’ Like, there’s a kind of party because Marley is now ‘friend’ with Paradis island and Annie and Armin accidentally got a little too drunk and somehow ended up in a bedroom… But that’s just what I sometimes think for some reason lmao
[N/SFW]
Hm, that's definitely a possibility haha xD
The first thought I have about this hc is that they're probably not together yet. The Rumbling ended, they're on the way to becoming Ambassadors, there's a lot of volatile politics and difficult waters to wade through - and the biggest angst of it all is how Aruani are consciously avoiding addressing their feelings for each other (quite unnecessary really *sigh* just hold hands already).
Because there's guilt, a lot of it, and it just doesn't allow them to let go of their fears and inhibitions. How can Armin possibly ask more of Annie when being with them for this exceedingly tiresome work is already more than what she should be doing? Besides, he imprisoned her, and everytime she lightly comments on how much things have changed, it reminds him he's to blame. He took away her peace and gave her nightmares, and now, to ask her to be with him will only be another punishment to bestow on her.
And how can Annie be more selfish and ask for his attention when it's already split between a million problems and visions in the darkness? She ruined his childhood and tore up his dreams of a peaceful, glittering sea; she led him on to believe she was a friend when she was an enemy; how can she let him think he deserves a monster like the one inside? One that doesn't laugh, one that doesn't smile, one that oozes blood from its palms if it cupped them around his cheeks. He deserves better than her, someone as awful and broken inside like her.
... good thing getting drunk drives all these thoughts off to hell!
Seriously, for these two, being drunk forces them to be vulnerable and honest with each other in a way they'd never allow themselves to be when sober. He's being hounded by important people in suits and she's just bored and tired of all the noise. Bedroom it is. Awkward it also is, but their tongues are loose from the drinks and Annie even laughs a bit. Gazing at her bathed in the light of the oil lamp, Armin thinks she's never looked prettier.
If not for the buzz in their system, neither would say out loud the obvious.
"Kiss me." and "Can I kiss you?" at the same time.
The rest?
Lost in the clumsy bliss of a first time.
#askies#aruani#headcanon#armin arlert#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#snk#annie leonhart#aot#aruannie#armin x annie
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i'd like to extend this a bit by saying yeah queerbaiting sucks. it sucks a lot. but i feel like i see people using the term queerbait for literally everything they ship that doesn't become canon. just bc two characters have good chemistry doesn't mean the writers are capitalizing on queer relationships. sometimes they're actually just supposed to be friends and there are no other intentions. it's honestly really fucking obvious when it's queerbait for real so i don't know how this keeps happening.
i also see it used for ships where both characters are canonically and actually queer. where's the queerbait there? they're both queer. if it's anything, it's shipbait. nandermo, macdennis, insert other examples bc that's all i have. will-they-won't-they is pretty much shipbait but a genre. and it's... fun? and silly...? and we can imagine what goes on behind the scenes because their chemistry is strange and fun and bizarre and insane? i know not everyone has the capacity for getting deep into what happens outside of canon, but i think we should do it a lot. like all the time. everyone should learn how to consume a media and imagine what they could be like outside of it. you don't even have to write it, or draw it, or tell anyone about it. just think about it. it's fun as fuck. you don't even have to be good at it. do it anyways
i think one of my least favorite things about interacting with ships (specifically mlm ships bc thats primarily where i see it) is the bizarre expectation that it needs to be canon and that anything that implies or even clearly states that it won't be must be killed and torn down. why do we need it to be canon? can't we just lick up the crumbs they give us off the ground like civilized people and leave the rest for fanworks
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202.
Corvus considers himself to be a pretty good tracker. He's just always been good at noticing the little things: broken twigs and disturbed soil and changes in the calls of native birds and such; things that take practise to see and an amount of training to hear. It's not that surprising, honestly, that he notices the change in Soren's behaviour before Soren ever does himself.
It's been how long now? Eight? Almost nine years? Terry's been with them for seven of those, and they've been out and about and adventuring the whole time so of course he notices the way Soren's eyes have started to wander whenever they're in Katolis.
It's subtle at first: a little smile here, a lingering touch there, the slightest pink in his cheeks whenever he and Opeli find themselves sitting next to each other in a meeting or at a meal. Corvus says nothing about it because it's not his place to say, and Soren is happy, which matters more than the little sting of jealousy that creeps unwantedly into his chest. He'd caught himself once hoping she'd just turn him down and had hated himself a little for it: Opeli is his friend too, and cleric or not, she deserves happiness just the same. If whatever is happening between them brings them joy, then Corvus would be remiss in wishing for anything else.
It's better now. He's grown used to it, and there's always something about the castle and its surrounds that Terry wants to know, so Corvus obliges him, and it's nice to hang around and just talk, no mission, no recon, no silly jokes.
Today is the same. The Yule season has settled over the city comfortably, and the festival the common folk throw every year is in full swing. The air is cold but it smells like cinnamon and spun sugar, the trees are lit with twinkling balls of Sunfire magic, the snow is soft and piles like pillows on every available surface, and Soren is wheedling Opeli (as always) to join them for the evening festivities.
Corvus hides his smile because they all know the answer is yes. Opeli has never had any resolve when it comes to Soren, and the facade of being stern and unyielding stopped fooling the three of them years ago, but it's Terry who intervenes.
"Actually, Corvus and I were thinking about going to the river," he says. "I was told I'd get to learn how to skate this year."
Opeli raises an eyebrow at Soren. "Then I can't very well tag along, can I?"
Soren flounders, very poorly disguising his disappointment. "What—I mean—Did I say that?"
"Oh, you didn't," says Terry. "Corvus did. Remember?"
"Um." Corvus' cheeks warm, because yes, he did, weeks ago, and he's somewhat ashamed that he'd forgotten. "Yes. Of course."
"Problem solved then," says Terry, clapping his hands. "You two enjoy the festival. We'll see you when you get back."
Opeli flushes a little. Soren flushes a lot.
"Oh," says Opeli. "I was under the assumption I'd be joining all of you."
"We're here for the month," says Terry, waving her off. "We can hang out anytime. Go have fun."
Soren flushes more. "You mean, like. Alone? At a festival?"
"Yeah," says Terry, giving him a look. Corvus has to fight back a laugh. "Is that a problem?"
"Of course not," says Opeli primly, her recovery always graceful. "I suppose I'll go and get my cloak." She eyes Terry suspiciously as she rises, but she touches Soren's arm before she goes. Soren mouths a thank you at Terry when she's not looking and offers them both a grin and a thumbs up.
He follows her to the stairwell leaving Corvus and Terry alone at the table, and they glance at each other and burst into laughter at once. The air is warm. Corvus' cheeks are sore from smiling all night. Terry leans back in his chair, his elbow brushing lightly against Corvus' arm.
"You'd think they were teenagers," snorts Terry.
"They're doing their best," says Corvus. "And y'know, strictly speaking, it's a little more complicated than how it looks, Opeli being a cleric and all but. Yes. They're ridiculous."
"You'll still teach me to skate though, right?"
"Yes, of course," chuckles Corvus heartily. "We can go now if you like."
"I would like that," says Terry, getting up. He grins at Corvus, and for a moment the world stills, and Corvus feels his heart do something funny, something unexpected, and when Terry touches his arm, it does it again.
Oh, he thinks. That's new. Or has it been something that's been happening for a while?
Corvus finds he doesn't know.
Perhaps there are little things he doesn't notice. Perhaps that's not so bad.
#im not here I just have creative Needs#corterry#sorpeli#7 years is CQ territory and im living for it#s7 spoilers#cant believe crack is gonna stand for canon if arc 3 gets greenlit#yeah i know im crazy just like. humour me ok#in anticipation#and a lil sprinkling of sorvus as well#tdp soren#tdp corvus#tdp terry#tdp opeli
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probably a weird thing to ask you but you seem to have watched a lot of those panels. why do you think they keep doing those cons. outside i guess of the money. i'm asking as someone who hasn't seen their panels at all. maybe one day i will. but like, i think, what do you think j2 (and the rest of the cast presumably) get out of it.
thank you again for this ask, i am very happy to have an excuse to talk about this! i have not been in this fandom very long (about 2 years now) and i mostly just make stuff so i think i still have a slightly outsider perspective, so i suppose take all this with that in mind. :)
straight away, for sure the financial aspect is gonna be part of it - and i imagine especially so for the cast that participates that had smaller roles. but that aside, i don't genuinely believe that the main cast would continue to do these for so long unless they enjoyed it and got something positive out of it, especially being that they are actively working on other projects too. they actually talked about this, in a way, at this most recent con (nashcon 2024) so i'm going to include some of that - and a bit jared talked about the connections fans have made (chicon 2023). for reasons stated below*, i'm sure there are a bunch of examples of times they've talked about these things i'm not aware of, because i haven't read or watched that much panel content. but here's a small sampling.
jared and jensen main pain, nashcon 2024 question: what has it been like to watch the entire fandom change and grow over these last many years, and people who have been at these conventions change and grow?
jared and jensen gold panel chicon 2023 question: what's your favorite fan interaction over the years?
to go along with this, i think it's part and parcel to the topic; i really do believe they truly are invested and care about their characters and the story. the way they've talked about the revival/season 16/whatever you call it, they're all in to go back to it. jared even mentioned at one point if they had shorter seasons (which they asked for repeatedly), they might still be making the show. i don't have concrete examples i can point to in panels, but i think if you do watch them talk about their characters much, there's a lot of thoughtfulness and care there.
Would you be open to returning to Sam Winchester? I feel like there are more stories for that character and, with The Winchesters done, it's a weird time to be a Supernatural fan with no new Supernatural on television for the first time in almost 20 years. It is weird, right? It's weird for you to say that and weird for me to realize it. The simple answer to your question is 100%. I will play Sam Winchester again. Jensen will play Dean Winchester again. It's more of a timing and availability thing. In hindsight, Jensen and I have always said "always," if we ever have the option. I think in the last two or three seasons of Supernatural, when we realized somebody might want more, we said "2025. In 2020, we're ending this. Let's get together in five years and see what Sam and Dean are up to." I'm going to see him in a few weeks to talk to him about it again. We've talked about it a few times. He and I are both champing at the bit to see what these boys have been up to and what else good they can do in this world or the next. I'm excited about it. My only contingency about it is, with Jensen and I being so protective of the show and the characters, the story has to be absolutely right. I don't just put on flannel and big coat, get in an Impala and say "Dean!" That won't work for Jared. It needs to have a purpose, as Sam and Dean always did.
via cbr, walker season 4 interview with jared
and i think they just have fun! they've developed a relationship with fandom that works for them in this format and they get to play around on stage with their friends and entertain people that love them. at the end of the day, it is a job for them, and they are putting on a performance; but i wouldn't be so cynical to think they aren't being somewhat genuine within that framework.
jared and jensen dccon 2023 main panel question: How long have you guys been friends?
and not to be totally j2 brained, but when you have a connection with someone like this, maybe it also isn't such a hardship to keep working together
*i actually haven't actually watched many panels! but fortunately for me (us), i have seen a lot of gifs and transcriptions. i have a hard time with the video format for reasons. when i decide to make gifs, it's often because i saw a quote or snippet somewhere and i go looking for the conversation to get a clip of, and sometimes might bump into something else that grabs me while i'm there. fortunately, a lot of the videos on youtube have at least autogenerated captions so i can scroll through the transcript there/search for keywords, etc. @eisforeidolon transcribes selections of questions from cons periodically, which i'm forever grateful for. a not insignificant chunk of my panel related show/cast trivia has been gleaned from those.
#j2#jared padalecki#jensen ackles#chicon 2023#chicon#nashcon 2024#nashcon#mygifs#j2gifs#j2 cons#j2 gifs#asks#bloodyentrails#dccon 2023#long post
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If it's alright, can I ask why you like the Golden Deer house more than the Blue Lions or Black Eagle houses? Like, what caught your eye about them over everyone else?
So I actually got into FE3H through a friend of mine, @dar-draws, who I already knew through mutual good taste (Dickkory), and fanarts like this one, this one, and this one plus the way she talked about Claude and Claudeleth caught my attention. I watched a couple playthroughs of the Golden Deer route on YouTube and absolutely fell in love (before finally getting a switch just to play it myself, for which I was violently bullied here). So like, I was already going into the game biased, which is part of why when I got it I went ahead and played through Golden Deer before doing all the other routes in turn; it was genuinely important to me to personally see all sides of the story. But even as I've played the other routes and replayed SS and AM and gained even more of an appreciation for them, I'm still always sort of drawn back to VW and the Deer.
I think it's ultimately vibes-based, but I'll try to articulate it. I'm not really a big fan of "cozy" sorts of games—I've played and enjoyed ACNH, but the things I most enjoyed about that game were finding things to do and goals to complete, like completing the main quest line or filling up the museum. So it's not so much that I find the Golden Deer to be cozy so much as adventurous. They're not inherently personally invested in the conflicts of White Clouds (they don't know Lord Lonato or Miklan, and their house leader isn't [gestures generally]), but they're also not just ping-ponging through the story. They go through the same events as the other two houses, but they're coming at it from more of an outsider's perspective, and their choice to get involved and react and respond feels more active.
The Deer also don't have any real reason to follow Claude, either, and in the early game they make sure he knows it; none of them are really all that concerned that they're speaking to the future Grand Duke of their country. Lysithea snaps at him, Leonie shoots the breeze with him, Raphael is jovial with him, Lorenz undercuts him, Hilda is blase with him, Marianne tries not to talk to him, and Ignatz gets into theological debates with him. Over the course of the game, they develop the same loyalty to Claude that the other house members already have for their leaders almost by default, and it feels a lot more earned because we see it happen. And that in turn makes scenes like the one at Myrddin, where Claude reveals his true goal of opening the border with Almyra and embracing foreign cultures and the other Deer are surprised but trust Claude and follow his lead, that much more satisfying.
I was a little surprised, when I played through the other three routes, that aside from the designated talking-with-the-cast scenes every route gets, the characters who aren't house leaders or retainers don't really have all that much to do in the story. On Verdant Wind, you pretty consistently have members of the Golden Deer appearing in other cutscenes and giving their two cents; there's even a unique scene where Lysithea realizes there's something up with the Empire's mages because of her backstory and approaches Claude and Byleth about it. It's nothing too obtrusive—they do still have to accommodate the potential for character death—but it's those small details that make a difference to me. Every house has a particular dynamic with odd silly quirks, but the Deer being just that little bit more integrated into the story really helps sell the idea that they belong here and they're making this story their own.
There's also the matter of where specifically their adventure takes them. I respect the choice to focus on Dimitri in Azure Moon, because it does handle his character and arc very well and I think also does the other Lions justice (with the exception of Dedue), but it's also focused largely on Dimitri's personal arc and the Tragedy of Duscur and doesn't really follow through on a lot of the events of White Clouds. (Which some Blue Lions stans have been okay with because they think the Agarthans are bad villains, which...that's valid, but stories still have to like, address plot elements they set up.) Verdant Wind, by contrast, does actually pull back and try to figure out the real impetus behind the whole conflict, and it ends with them beginning to properly lay Fodlan's true problems to rest.
So while the route isn't flawless and I do think there are issues with how characters are written that are part of larger trends within the game and the series as a whole, there's a very specific kind of fantasy adventure energy with the Golden Deer that I enjoy. I think the stories I'm most drawn to are the ones that keep their eyes on a specific goal but still make you feel like the characters would bring that same energy to goofing around with each other, and I think that's something Verdant Wind does very well.
#fe3h#golden deer#asks#that reminds me i should really replay cindered shadows idk why i haven't#also reminds me. dar followed up that post a year later bc we both got a 3ds to play awakening to romance chrom#the ground is level at the foot of the cross
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"Isn't Enemies to Lovers proship" Nope! Here's Why (+ Explaining Strawmen)
Proship/comship/neutral/darkfic DO NOT interact!! This post is not and never will be for you, stay away from me.
So I got this question as an anon but the ask just disappeared 😭 anyways I feel like this is a good topic to tackle because this shoddy argument is thrown around a lot
Short answer: No, but it can be depending on the execution
Long answer: Enemies to lovers as a trope isn't inherently toxic, but if it's handled wrong then yes the relationship would be abusive and ergo would be proship. But just because it CAN be handled poorly doesn't mean it's AUTOMATICALLY toxic and bad on principal
More under the cut:
I've had people I've hated who I later warmed up to. Happens all the time, that's life, you're not gonna like everyone. But that doesn't mean we abused one another or made one another's life a living hell. If you're thinking about ETL (Enemies To Lovers) in the context of the Enemy being this ruthless tyrant who tears down the MC at every opportunity, ruins their life, and overall makes the MC severely harmed from their actions: yes, that is abuse. THAT relationship would be proship.
But that's what I call BookTok ETL, cause BookTok is where it's most normalized (and let's be fr, they normalize proship stuff ALL THE TIME). BookTok ETL is specifically different from general ETL cause most interpretations of the trope are written by people who know there's a line between flirty angry banter and actual harmful interactions. Any sane person who loves the trope will tell you there's definitely a limit and that it becomes gross and uncomfortable when that line is crossed.
And, what I find important to emphasize: every trope CAN be toxic if done wrong. Childhood Friends to Lovers can be unhealthy if the childhood friend in question is a thoughtless shitbag and torments the MC. Coffee Shop AUs can be toxic if it's someone harassing an essential service worker the whole time. I've experienced media that's made me love tropes I usually don't care for just as much as I've seen media do a trope I love so badly that the relationship is a cesspit mess that I wouldn't ever dream of supporting.
My point here is judging a general and inherently harmless trope just based off of the idea that it could sometimes maybe be portrayed as toxic, doesn't mean the trope is on principal bad/toxic/gross. "But what about hero x villain?"— same rules apply. If Villain is terrorizing Hero or the ones they love so badly that it gives Hero trauma or deeply negatively impacts them in a scarring way, that is abuse and no one should argue that it isn't. But the trope can also be lighthearted and sweet, depending on the way it's handled.
Now onto my second portion:
What is a strawman?
A strawman is directly defined as "an intentionally misrepresented proposition that is set up because it is easier to defeat than an opponent's real argument". The very question of attributing harmless tropes to abuse romanticizing proshippers is a strawman. An argument that's meant to seem like a "HAHA GOTCHA" to people who don't sit and think for more than two seconds on how you're literally grasping at straws. This ties into a common trend of proshippers trying to worm their way into everything.
Let me be blunt: proshippers did NOT and never have invented shipping, selfshipping, fandoms, or anything of the like. They like saying that as an imaginary "gotcha" card to the rest of us, just claiming with zero proof or evidence to have invented online spaces because that's easier to argue over than the fact that they're supporting actually disgusting things. 9/10 they just wanna piss people off and then flood them with harassment when the person points out the obvious holes in their argument (pretty ironic coming from the "we don't support harassment!" crowd by the way)
So, to reiterate and be as clear as possible; no, enemies to lovers and hero x villain aren't proship. They can BECOME proship if specific portrayals are done in a very toxic way that make the relationship abusive, but any trope can be represented horribly, so no it does not automatically mean the trope as a concept is proship. Claiming it is is a strawman argument largely used by proshippers because they're deflecting from what they're actually doing wrong and trying to grasp at straws to "epically own the stupid antis" or something like that
Ty for reading
#not a confession#f/o community#safeshipping#self ship#self shipping#self shipping community#selfship#selfship community#selfship confession void#selfshipping#self ship community#dni proshitters#fuck proshippers#dni proship#fuck proshitters#proship dni#anti darkship#anti proshitter#anti comship#anti proship#anti profic#dni comship#yes those are all necessary#im gonna block anyone who says something stupid btw you cannot try to magically trick me into thinking proshippers are fandom gods or smth💀#no proshippers#fandom stuff#general post#long post#🦷 mod#🦷 posting
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Athena Sibling Headcanons
Note: I'm far from an expert on Greek mythology, so most of this is vibes based. I am also going off the headcanon that Athena is the oldest
Apollo: They both have a lot of respect for each other, but they don't talk much. Apollo looked up to Athena when he was younger. That faded as he grew up and got tired of her no-nonsense attitude. He's all about finding a healthy work-life balance and Athena... isn't. He loves her handicrafts but the way she talks about it puts a bad taste in his mouth. She acts like it's inherently less worthy than her other domains and only engages in it as a favor to others. As if art has no worth besides utility. He also doesn't like how Athena talks about wounds and punishments, mostly when Zeus punishes one of the gods. Athena thinks some pain should remain as a lesson, while Apollo can't resist the urge to heal everything, no matter what caused the injury.
Artemis: Artemis is one of the two Olympians that would call Athena a friend, even if Athena's pride wouldn't let her say the same. They've had a lot to bond over. You'd think it'd mostly be female warrior stuff, but most of their talks are like "Everyone else in this stupid family is so obsessed with sex what's wrong with them get me out of here". As Artemis started drifting away from the family, she tried to encourage Athena to do the same. She knew how dissatisfied she was under Zeus's thumb. Athena refused, reminding Artemis not to neglect her duties. This drove a wedge between them that has yet to fully heal. Even so, they speak to each other often and always seek the other out at social gatherings.
Aphrodite: Athena, contrary to popular opinion, respects and appreciates Aphrodite's domains. Love is a very important force in the world and is clearly very powerful. It just isn't for her. No just romantic love, but attachments in general have never worked out for her. She prefers clear, transactional relationships. It's safer. Aphrodite resents Athena for this. No matter how much Athena insists she respects Aphrodite, words have never meant anything to her. Aphrodite values actions, provable passion. Athena, in her eyes, has no passion whatsoever. She's just their father's living weapon, ready to do his bidding at a moment's notice. Aphrodite can't understand her and has given up trying.
Ares: WAR SIBLINGS!!!! Okay, I know I know, most depictions put them at odds. That's all well and good, and I like that to an extent, but they certainly don't hate each other. They bicker and complain and put each other down, but they know they're both necessary. I've always interpreted Athena as representing generals while Ares represents the soldiers. Athena thinks Ares is too small-minded and bloodthirsty. Ares thinks Athena is dishonorable and passionless. He hates trickery and fully believes in a "might makes right" approach to warfare. Athena just sees war as a means to an end, hopefully a peaceful one.
Dionysus: Athena mostly ignores Dionysus. He's got his own thing going on and it's... fine, but it has nothing to do with her. Whatever. Dionysus, on the other hand, hates Athena. In an arch enemy sort of way. He doesn't actively want to harm Athena, but he hates everything she stands for. She's always serious, says wine 'distorts the mind' too much for her liking, considers dancing a waste of time, and NEVER goes to his parties. The audacity...
Hephaestus: (note: I like the version of his story where he's just Hera's child so maybe he should be here, but come on. He should be here.) Athena's other friend! He's probably the god Athena talks to most often, even more than Zeus. They're both the introverts of a family. Everyone else is just so loud and chaotic. When things are overwhelming, they'll often go to each other and craft/forge in silence. Despite her obsession with utility and efficiency, she's the only Olympian besides Hestia that never pushed Hephaestus to 'fix' his disability. She accepted him as he was, and helped him a lot when he finally decided to work on a metal leg. While their other siblings consider Athena cold and emotionless, Hephaestus knows appearances aren't everything. So what if she doesn't show her love the way everyone else does? He knows she's a good person at her core.
Hermes: Hermes is the only Olympian that works as hard as Athena does, granting him her infinite respect. They share a love of speed and efficiency. Though they have almost nothing else in common, it's enough for them both. While she isn't a huge fan of mischief, she can admire the thought that goes into his pranks. He's intelligent and Athena knows it. She just wishes he always put his energy to better use. Hermes, similarly, likes Athena. They aren't friends, and he's more than willing to smack talk her with their siblings, but he knows how hard she works and respects that. He helps keep people away when Athena's busy, and she lets him hide in her palace when he takes a prank too far.
#epic athena#epic the musical#epic aphrodite#epic ares#epic apollo#epic artemis#epic hephaestus#epic hermes#epic dionysus#epic headcanon#if you know of any greek myth that contradicts anything#ignore it#I'm looking at you Erichthonius#If you don't know that name don't look him up#spare yourself
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Yuji grew taller (but was still a hair short of Megumi) and he certainly grew larger, but he was still the same little boy with his bright eyes, bright smile, and his tendency to scratch his head. Megumi wondered if he had remained the same in the perspective of others. Did Yuji think he was the same quiet boy, borderline on sulking, and would that be a bad thing? Megumi had never really put much thought into baking or making cherry wine but both sounded good.
He had heard it was easy to make wines out of a lot of different kinds of fruit, and it certainly was more of a task to make wine than just picking fruit. Megumi shrugged, almost feeling embarrassed for coming up with something so lame and a little dandy, but then Yuji hit him. Struck him in his heart with compliments. Beautiful? No one had regarded ANY part of him as beautiful. His heart stuttered then began beating faster than a wild horse's run.
Green eyes ran in Megumi's... family; it was nothing special. Honey colored eyes that were so bright and soulful were the true rarity. Megumi was a man and there was nothing beautiful or pretty about him, yet... his face turned scarlet with the compliment and he turned his head away; long, thick black eyelashes batted over those green eyes unconsciously. And when his friend slid closer, Megumi's face returned to its previous position and the two men seemed so close. Yet so far.
“ They're not. I mean, they were green, but nothing special... ”
Then Megumi swore he could hear footsteps against the wood. All of the manor was wood and well-built, yet footsteps against wood were easy to spot. The black haired man cleared his throat and mirrored Yuji's actions by scratching his own head. His guts were turned up and around like tumbleweed. He wanted to get even closer and then what? Yuji was his friend, a long lost and now found friend. Megumi turned away to set his glass on a small table situated by the sofa.
“ We can figure out what we want to do together. It's late though and you shouldn't be riding back. There's a spare bedroom if you'd like to sleep... here. Sa-Gojo won't mind. ”
He fought against his desires and rose from the sofa; the temptation to kiss his friend lessened with the change in his position. As he waited for a response he moved to the phonograph and shut off the device, then carefully put the large record in its appropriate sleeve. He could do at least that much with a little light headed.
Yuji has decided that perhaps he didn’t like alcohol all that much. Sure a few sips here and there probably won’t be so bad but ugh it burned and it made his stomach feel weird. Now his face felt numb and weird too. He even taps his nose realizing it was numb. Oh gosh is he going to pass out?! No, he can’t that would be very embarrassing. He focuses on Megumi and only feels his face heating up even more. He might be drunk but he knows alcohol isn’t the reason why Megumi is so perfect and gorgeous.
This was so silly! He will never drink alcohol again if he makes a fool of himself. Besides he’s seen plenty of drunkards making a fool of themselves. He does not want to be like them, absolutely not. How is it that Megumi seems so normal and unfazed by the alcohol he drank? Maybe he’d also have to ask Megumi for tips when it came to drinking. Could he teach him how to drink without becoming a silly fool?
Yuji’s heart just about gives out and jumps out of his chest at the sight of Megumi smiling at him. His eyes go a little wide and glossy. He smiles back and finds himself leaning in ever so slightly. He licks his lips and gulps, his warm gaze roaming over Megumi’s face and down his body then back up to those mesmerizing green eyes. He could get lost in them forever. He remembers as a child he had been awed by Megumi’s green eyes. The most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen and even now he still thinks so.
He’s not sure what it means, this infatuation with his friend. Was this normal? Was it simply the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in so long or was it more? He’s heard plenty of other people here talk about wanting to find the right person and get married. He even had some of the other ranch hands try to set him up with some of the maids or kitchen girls. Yuji always politely declined because why would he marry someone he doesn’t know?
Marrying someone like Megumi though… It didn’t sound bad. Oh, he’s definitely drunk if he’s thinking about marrying his friend. He rubs his head as if that would make him sober up.
“Baking or cherry winemaking?”
He chuckles and smiles brightly.
“That is very specific sorta. Well specific for the wine. What are we going to bake? Are we going to eat the bread with the wine? How do you even make wine? Doesn’t it have to sit in a barrel or something for a long long long time? Will we be old by the time we get to try it?”
He’s never thought about learning something new with someone either not really. Not since Megumi disappeared all those years ago. But the thought of learning anything with Megumi is nice. He tries to think but his mind is too fuzzy and all he can think about is Megumi. His gaze falls onto those plump lips and his cheeks heat up again. Yuji forces his gaze back up to Megumi’s eyes.
“Your eyes are so green. They’re beautiful. I remember thinking that the first time I met you. I couldn’t believe green eyes like yours existed. And now they are still so green and pretty.”
He chuckles and actually leans in a little more as if trying to get a better look at Megumi’s eyes but really his vision was just fuzzy from the alcohol.
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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Aftermath au: Red Letter Day
Barney gets a call that Gordon Freeman had been found after ten years of being missing in action.
Word count: 4382
Notes: Another fic for my au "Aftermath" because I think its neat. I'm not sure what else to put here, enjoy the fic
Barney was beginning to remember how much he hated Winter as he stared through the warehouse window in front of him. Despite it being the beginning of March, spring was yet to come, meaning the snow was still falling with the temperature following suit. Barney had always hated the season, and as much as he tried, he could never come up with a proper reason. Maybe it was the fact it was cold, wet, and dreary, making any trip outside miserable, or perhaps it was the fact he was mainly cooped up inside all day, leaving him to get cabin fever. Or maybe it was a mixture of those two at the same time, along with the loneliness that came from them. No matter the reason, Barney kept quiet about it, realizing he had no ability to change the weather. All he could do was drink his hot coffee and put on a few more layers than usual.
Barney took a sip from his mug as he looked away from the window, instead focusing his attention back into the room he was in. It was a storage room, full of random junk and scientific doodads Barney had no knowledge of. Boxes and crates were stacked up in piles taller than he was, stacked in such a way that it made Barney nervous even being near them in the case of them toppling over. Due to the lack of a radiator in that room, it was even chillier than the rest of the refurbished warehouse, making Barney glad he was wearing the warmest sweatpants he could find in his closet, along with a worn out grey hoodie, with the logo on the front being so faded that it was hard to make out as Black Mesa’s logo.
As he looked around, he was startled by the sound of a box slamming against the concrete floor, along with a short exclamation. “Oh, blast it!” “You alright, Doc?” Barney asked the other man in the room, watching as he bent over to pick up the fallen crate.
“I’m fine, just…hoping whatever was in here isn’t fragile…”
Dr. Isaac Kleiner, or “Doc” as Barney referred to him as, was wearing a white lab coat over a robin-egg-blue dress-shirt and black tie, trading warmth for safety at his place of work. His glasses were slipping off his face as he moved boxes and rummaged through everything in the storage room, making it even more of a mess than it was before.
“Where on earth could she have gone?” Kleiner asked, not necessarily expecting an answer. “There aren’t any vents she could have crawled in, are there?”
“I hope not,” Barney stated. “Last thing I want is that thing to fall on someone.” As Kleiner looked under a table, Barney spoke up again. “You think it ran off or something?”
“Oh no, I don’t believe so,” Kleiner stood up straight, “I’m sure she wouldn’t. After all, she needs to get fed eventually, so I imagine she’ll come out for that.” “If the thing didn’t eat someone's cat or something.”
“Hush!” Kleiner held a finger up to his mouth, causing both he and Barney to become silent as he listened closely. Barney attempted to hear what Kleiner was listening for, but to no avail, hearing nothing but silence. “Fie! I could’ve sworn I heard her moving around…”
Barney let out an exhausted sigh, “Doc, please, there’s plenty of those pests out there–”
“But there’s only ONE Lamar!”
“...Right.”
“Now, are you going to help me look?” Kleiner adjusted his crooked glasses, “Or are you going to simply stand there, doing nothing?”
“Uh…” Barney glanced away, thinking for a moment. “...No thanks.”
“Oh, you act like she’s some kind of wild animal.”
“It kinda is.”
“She’s been de-beaked and trained, and you know this!” Kleiner stated as he walked towards a filing cabinet near the corner of the room.
“‘Trained;’ I don’t think that thing is really…trained. My dog is trained, and I know you can train cats, but I don’t think you can train a literal parasite–”
“Oh! I think I’ve got something!” Kleiner said excitedly, “Help me move this cabinet, would you please?”
Barney reluctantly approached the metal cabinet as Kleiner positioned himself to the side of it, ready to move it as soon as Barney was. As soon as Barney placed his free hand against the side of it, he pushed, with Kleiner on the other side pulling it towards him.
Barney let out a loud yelp when something leaped at him from behind the cabinet, causing him to fall on his back and drop his mug on the floor. It was Lamar, the “Pet” headcrab that Kleiner had lost, and it was even uglier up close. As it laid on Barney’s chest, its six small, beady eyes stared back at him as he remained absolutely still, afraid of it trying to attack him. Its teeth on its stomach prodded at his stomach, along with its chipped, large front claws, which had colorful duct-tape covering the tips of them to prevent them from being too sharp. After a few moments of tense silence, Kleiner came to the rescue, picking up Lamar from where it rested on Barney’s torso, allowing him to take a breath.
“LAMAR!” Kleiner exclaimed, looking at his pet with relief in his eyes, “Oh, delightful! I’m so happy to see you weren’t left out in the cold somewhere…”
“Mm-hm…” Barney lifted himself off the ground, looking at his feet to see his knocked over coffee cup, with its contents spilled over. “Ugh…”
Barney picked up his cup from the floor as Kleiner let Lamar go, watching as it waddled across the floor before jumping up onto one of the tables. Barney stared at it with contempt, the opposite reaction to Lamar’s rediscovery compared to Kleiner’s joy.
“Do you even have a license for that thing?” Barney questioned as Lamar sat down on top of some loose documents. “If you don’t and animal control finds it, they’ll kill it–”
“I’m…in the process of getting one,” Kleiner stated, voice stumbling slightly. “And I hope no one finds her, cause if they do…I’m afraid of what you said coming true. I’m sure it will be fine regardless, at least she knows to stay inside.”
“...Sure.”
“Is everyone safe?”
Barney and Kleiner turned towards the doorway that led to the rest of the warehouse, seeing a lone, albino Vortigaunt staring back at them with her four maroon eyes. She was wearing a similar lab coat to Kleiner’s, with a borrowed pair of black dress pants, along with a fitted light brown sweater, with a hole in the middle of her chest for her third pseudo arm. She stared at Kleiner and Barney for a little while before Barney answered her question.
“Yeah, we’re fine…” Barney sighed, glancing towards Lamar, “We just found Kleiner’s…pet.”
“Everything’s under control, Violet, you can get back to work!” Kleiner added.
“I see.” Violet’s gravelly voice seemed quieter than usual, making Barney’s brows furrow a bit.
“You alright?” He asked.
Violet seemed puzzled. “Hm?”
“Are you doing alright? I have noticed you’ve been a bit…closed off for the past few hours.” Kleiner inquired.
“We have been…distracted…” Violet responded. “I imagine it will be cleared up soon.”
“We?” Barney asked.
Violet didn’t answer. “I must get back to helping the others…the teleporter is nearly ready for its first test...”
“Oh! Wonderful. I’ll be there in a little bit.” Kleiner stated as Violet left the room. Barney remained puzzled, looking back at Kleiner with a feeling of unease in his chest.
“She said ‘we’.” Barney stated.
“I’m aware,” Kleiner responded. “You see, the Vortigaunts are able to tap into something they refer to as the ‘Vortessence’, and are thus all conne–”
“I know, Doc, I just…” Barney paused for a second. “If she’s talking about all the Vortigaunts, then wouldn’t that be a bit worrying?”
“...Maybe, but I'm not sure.” Kleiner stated. “Though, one of the members of the survey team we sent earlier today was a Vortigaunt, and that team hasn’t returned yet so…maybe there is a connection there.”
“Maybe.”
“Either way, I believe i’ll go and speak with her, just to make sure everything’s alri–”
Barney’s phone ringing from his pocket interrupted their thoughts, and when Barney pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open, he saw the number was from one of his coworkers at the hospital. “Sorry, I gotta take this.”
“You’re fine, you go ahead and I’ll go check in with the others.”
Barney nodded, watching Kleiner leave the room before he answered the call and put his phone up to his ear.
“Hello?”
Barney listened closely to the person on the other end of the phone, barely processing what they were saying.
“What’s going on?
Not going to believe what?
So what, why are you telling me this?”
Barney listened closely, all before he felt his heart skip a beat. The sinking feeling in his chest was enough to render him silent, all before he let out a meek “I’ll call you later.”
Barney rushed out of the room, running past Kleiner in the process, nearly pushing him over as he approached the exit. “Barney? What’s going on, are you alright–” “They found him.” Barney’s voice shook as he spoke, with him barely being able to make out the words from how tight his throat was.
“Found who?”
Barney was already out of the building by the time Kleiner asked the question, leaving it unanswered.
Barney saw his own breath clouding in front of his face as he sprinted across the parking lot of the warehouse, nearly slipping on ice multiple times but not giving any time to care. When he reached his car, he swung the door open and crawled inside, starting the engine and speeding off without a single word. His thoughts ran through his head faster than his car was capable of going, slurring together without a single cohesive thought coming through. He didn’t care if he was a few miles above the speed limit; he needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. He needed to see if what his coworker said was right.
If it was truly Gordon Freeman that was brought into the ER, he needed to be there.
When Barney made it to the hospital lot, he rushed through the front doors, looking around before approaching the front desk, out of breath from both the physical and mental strain that was put on him. Through harsh breaths, he asked, “Is Gordon Freeman here?”, with pleading eyes focused on the woman behind the desk.
“Oh, hello Mr. Calhoun, I can look through the system for a ‘Gordon Freeman’, if you’ll sit tight for a moment.” She looked towards the computer in front of her, typing in something and looking through files as Barney waited, his impatience building up inside of him.
“Fuck this.” He pushed himself away from the desk, storming down one of the hallways despite the woman at the front desk telling him he wasn’t allowed to as he was off duty. Barney rushed past hospital workers, asking them if they knew where Gordon was, only to be met with worried and frightened looks along with no answers. Barney’s frustration only grew as he ran through the hospital halls, with the familiar building beginning to feel like a maze meant to confuse him. As he ran further into the hospital wing, he slammed against one of the doctors in the hall, causing him to topple to the ground as Barney tripped over his own feet.
“Sorry, I just have to–”
“Barney? What the hell are you doing back here?” The man questioned as Barney sped past him.
“I’m looking for Gordon Freeman,” Barney answered, turning around. “Have you seen him?”
“He’s in the ER right now,” The man snapped back as he slowly stood up. “You can’t see him until he’s out of surgery.”
“Surgery? Is he safe? Is he alright?” Barney questioned, walking closer to the doctor.
“Yes, he’ll be fine, just…” The doctor let out a tired sigh. “Get out of here, you’re off duty and risking your job with a stunt like this.”
“I need to see Gordon, alright?” Barney explained. “He’s been gone for a fucking DECADE, and he’s been found again, I can’t just leave him–”
“Calhoun.” The man raised his voice as he glared at Barney with a look of both contempt and pity. “...Listen, just wait until he’s out and I’ll see what I can do, do you understand?”
Barney remained silent for a moment, letting out a sharp breath before nodding. “Alright,” He stated, defeated. “But he better be getting the best treatment in there.”
“I’m sure they’re doing all they can, they understand his reputation–”
“I don’t care about his reputation, if i’m right, that’s my goddamn friend in there.” Barney spat. “...Let me know when he’s out. I need to at least…make sure it’s…the right guy.”
“I’m sure someone will let you know.” The doctor stated. “...Now please go back to the waiting room before I call security.”
Barney did as he was told, reluctantly walking across the hospital premises and back into the waiting room, where he will stay for another few hours. He paced around the room, bounced his foot up and down, fidgeted with his hands; anything to try and pass the time as the minutes passed by agonizingly slow. After he had already been there for what felt like days within the timespan of a few hours, he saw a nurse walk towards him. “Mr. Calhoun?”
Barney’s head lifted up, looking towards the nurse before following her down a hallway. After a couple-minutes walk, they stopped in front of a door leading to a recovery room. “He’s in there,” The nurse stated. “He’s currently sleeping, so I ask you to be quiet and not attempt to wake him up.”
“...Yeah.” Barney hesitated before walking through the door, stepping into the room, seeing a curtain blocking his view of the bed. He paused, standing in place for a moment as he wondered if the face he was about to see was truly Gordon, or simply someone mistaken as him. He wondered if he wanted the answer, or if he’d rather live in ignorance, avoiding the crippling disappointment if it wasn’t the man he thought it was, but as he walked past the curtain, every worry in his mind ceased and his thoughts became silent as he looked at the man on the bed.
Sure, his body was covered with blood-soaked bandages, his right leg was in a cast, he had medical equipment around him, and he was missing his glasses, but his face was painfully recognizable. Barney choked back a sob, covering his mouth when he saw Gordon’s face again.
“Are you alright?” The nurse behind him asked, noticing Barney’s teary-eyed look.
“I’m fine.” Barney whispered before letting out a short chuckle and a forced smile. “It’s just…he didn’t change a damn bit.”
Barney hadn’t even noticed it had been an hour since he entered the room, being surprised when he glanced at the clock and saw it was nearing 10 PM. He sat on a chair beside Gordon’s bed, having moved it from the corner of the room to right beside it. His leg bounced up and down as he looked at Gordon, all before lowering his head and letting out a deep sigh. He wished to speak to him but he was out of words he could possibly say at that very moment, not to mention the wish to stay quiet so Gordon could recover without being woken up. He wanted to tell Gordon everything that had happened in his absence; how Kleiner started up another lab to continue Black Mesa’s studies, how Eli also set up one on the other side of the city, and how Barney had finished college and was able to become a nurse. Gordon missed so much, and even though Barney wished to dump every piece of information onto him, he realized that even the realization that it had been ten years would be overwhelming enough. Thus, Barney figured to start simple, and just talk, like friends, for the first time since the Black Mesa incident.
As Barney leaned back into his seat he felt the back of his head hit something that wasn’t there before, feeling bitter cold yet organic at the same time, like a corpse’s fingers curling around the top of the backrest. He swung around, half expecting someone to be there, yet he saw nothing of the sort, seeing only the beige wall behind him. Barney let out his breath, looking back at Gordon before realizing he should head back; his stress and emotional state must have made him paranoid, not to mention the feeling of his hair standing on end. He stood up, walking towards the door out of the room before taking one last look back at Gordon before he finally left.
Later that night, Barney paced around his living room, being watched by his pet rottweiler as he talked on the phone. “The Survey team were the ones that found him?” he asked.
“That’s what they said,” Kleiner stated from the other side of the line. “The Vortigaunt was apparently the one that found him, specifically.”
“I see.”
“Quite Miraculous,” Kleiner continued, “The fact that Gordon had survived there for ten years before being found.”
“Yeah…” Barney unsurely stated under his breath.
“Nevermind that, what are you planning now?” Kleiner asked. “Should we have some kind of party? A celebration should be in order for him being back, I’d say–”
“I think he needs rest, he’s…been through a lot.” Barney stated. “I’ve thought of him staying over at my place until he can find a place of his own or until he recovers, but we’ll see how he’s feeling.”
“Are you sure? I’m sure we can find a spare room in the lab for him.”
“I dunno if he’d wanna live in a loud lab with a headcrab, doc.”
“...I suppose you have a fair point.”
“It was just so…strange.” Barney stated. “They say it was a ten year coma, but I don’t buy it. I don’t buy it at all.” “What makes you believe that?”
“The fact he was bleeding. The fact he had fresh wounds from Black Mesa,” Barney elaborated, brows furrowed and his free arm crossing over his chest. “Not to mention the fact he was found with that…suit on.” “What kind of suit?” Kleiner questioned. “Oh, do you mean the Hazardous Environment Suit?”
“Yeah. Why would he be wearing it ten years after the incident was already over?”
“Who knows,” Kleiner sighed, “I’m sure I can talk with Eli to see if he has any ideas on–” Kleiner was interrupted by a loud crash and squeaking coming from behind him, audible through Barney’s phone. “Goodness gracious, LAMAR, NO–”
“You alright Doc?”
“I’ll have to speak with you later, Lamar got in the vents again–Lamar get DOWN from there, that’s not safe!” After that, the call ended, and Barney was left to himself once again. Barney sighed, putting his phone back in his pocket before he heard a deep ruff coming from his dog, who was laying next to the couch in the living room, with its white patches of fur on its snout showing its age.
“You hear that, Gordon?” Barney said. “You might get a new roommate…a…different Gordon.”
The dog yawned and rested his head on his paws as Barney walked towards the living room couch, sitting on it and resting his feet on the coffee table in front of it. He leaned over the armrest, scratching the top of the dog’s head. “Guess I’ll have to explain to him why you’re also named Gordon, huh bud?”
Gordon didn’t respond, instead just letting out a soft ruff again. Barney leaned back in his seat, staring up at the ceiling before folding his hands on top of his stomach. He wasn’t looking forward to explaining why his pet was named after his friend, he realized. After all, it’s not very easy to tell someone you thought they were dead for years.
As soon as Barney received the call that Gordon was awake the following evening, Barney rushed back to the hospital to visit him once again. As he drove across the city, worries he didn’t think about before began to creep up inside his brain. Even though he didn’t necessarily believe the coma theory the doctors had, nor did he believe even they believed it fully, he thought of the possibility of it being true, and if Gordon would even remember who Barney was after a full decade of sleep. It would be a surprise if Gordon remembered anything after that amount of time, but Barney pushed down his pessimism, trying to be optimistic just this once.
After making his way down the hospital hallway once again, he found himself back in front of the door to Gordon’s room, with a nervous feeling deep in his gut as he prepared to walk inside. He took in a breath and stepped inside, looking towards the bed in which Gordon was laying on, only to have his gaze met by two bright green eyes, ones Barney hadn't seen since ten years prior. Barney froze in place, staring back at Gordon, who appeared to be surprised to see him. As Barney sat down in the chair beside the bed, he swallowed hard, wondering what he could possibly say now that Gordon was awake. As he thought to himself, a question left his mouth that he wasn’t initially planning on asking:
“Where were you?”
The question lingered in the air like a foul odor, with Gordon’s brows furrowing lip quivering slightly, all while he curled his hands into fists. He turned away from Barney, looking down at his feet, thinking of something to say, though his hands didn’t once lift up to sign a single word.
“You…disappear for 10 years without warning,” Barney continued. “Leaving everyone to believe you were dead.”
Gordon didn’t make eye contact with Barney as he spoke.
“I thought you were dead and buried somewhere, Gordon,” Barney choked. “But…You’re here in front of me now.”
Gordon glanced at Barney before he felt arms being wrapped around his shoulders, tight, but not too tight to make it hurt.
“I fucking missed you, Gordon.” Barney said as he hugged Gordon, feeling the gesture being returned to him. Gordon’s hands shook, feeling weak and cold, yet he didn’t want to let go of the single shred of kindness he had felt since what felt like eternity. After a few moments Barney let go, sitting back down with red, tear-filled eyes.
“...You…missed a lot.” Barney stated; Gordon nodded knowingly in response. “I’d tell ya’ everything, but…I don’t even know how to start.”
“Are they safe?” Gordon’s hands were shaking, but Barney could make out the message regardless.
“Who, like…Kleiner? Eli?”
Gordon nodded slightly, lips pursed in anticipation.
“They’re alright,” Barney assured, allowing Gordon to let out a breath. “In fact…they’re excited to see you again. Kleiner especially, he’s hoping to get you back into his lab…don’t know if you want to do that, but the offer’s there.”
Gordon appeared to have had a weight lifted off his shoulders at the news, but the cold yet somber gaze didn’t leave his eyes. Barney planned to tell Gordon that they were among the few survivors of the Black Mesa incident, but he bit his tongue for the time being.
“...Never thought you’d be in the history books, did ya?” Barney let out a lighthearted chuckle in an attempt to lighten the mood. “You’re a hero in everyone’s eyes, now.”
Gordon shook his head, looking down and away from Barney’s gaze as he clasped his hands together on his lap. Barney stared at him with a look of confusion and worry, all before forcefully clearing his throat.
“I’m just…happy to see you alive, Gordon.” Barney stated. “After…a few years I began to…to lose hope.” Barney paused for a second, realizing Gordon was still not meeting his gaze. “...Should’ve known you were a tougher son of a bitch than that, I guess.”
Gordon scoffed slightly before shaking his head again, still staring at his feet. Silence fell as Barney attempted to think of something else to say to ease the tense atmosphere, though his thoughts were blank and void of any ideas. Barney looked towards Gordon yet again, seeing he was raising his hands up to sign something:
“Missed you too.”
Barney smiled slightly, despite feeling as if he wanted to cry right then and there. He never anticipated he’d be this emotional in his life, yet here he was; about to cry for the second time that day. Seeing his legally dead friend after ten years of being missing in action was enough to warrant it, he supposed.
“I’m sure the others will be happy to show you everything they’ve been working on,” Barney said, with Gordon finally looking back up at him, before looking directly behind him, “They’ve been working on a new telepor–”
Gordon flinched, staring at something behind Barney before attempting to crawl backwards, nearly ripping off his IV in the process. Barney looked behind him, seeing nothing but the wall before he heard a loud thud coming from the bed. He turned, seeing Gordon had fallen off of the bed and onto the cold linoleum floor. “Gordon!” Barney quickly ran to his aid, holding out an arm for Gordon to grab, lifting him off of the floor. When weight was put onto his right leg, Gordon grimaced, using Barney as leverage as he was put back onto the bed. “Jeez Gordon, what got you freaked out so ba–”
Barney was silenced when Gordon hugged him without warning. Barney could hear him quietly sobbing into his shoulder, and as he returned the hug, he wondered if he had ever seen Gordon so touchy before; It was as if he hadn’t had human contact in days. This time however, Barney wasn’t quick to let go. The last thing he wanted to do was leave his best friend behind again.
Not this time.
#half life#HL Aftermath au#Barney calhoun#Aftermath Barney#Gordon Freeman#Aftermath Gordon#Isaac Kleiner#Gman#Aftermath Gman#vaguely.#Violet the Vortigaunt (oc)#Yeah this au has an au exclusive oc in it cause why not#shmorp writes sometimes#I dunno of any TWs so if there are any lemmie know#Anyway yeah. is this freehoun? I don't even know man you decide#I just think about these two a lot and like. they're such good friends in my heart#Anyway I wanted to write something from Barney's perspective so have this#Also hey. i've actually started doing more than one draft for my fics#who would've thought that more than one draft would be beneficial. who woulda thought /LHJ#I would start posting these on Ao3 but ao3 scares me so just have it here instead#rambling over enjoy the fic
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with all these gaston crackships/rarepairs that are coming out lately it would be so fucking funny if he had a flig with all the main characters (ambar, nina, simon... hell luna too if you want) and they all know it except matteo
#mf would feel so betrayed once he finds out#and not because he's jealous or anything - or maybe yes (they kinda have a vibe between them if you get what i mean)#mainly because his best friend didn't tell him#gaston would 100% use “you didn't ask” with a shit-eating grin while shrugging his shoulder#he would have the time of his life making fun of matteo reaction lol#and matteo would also lowkey be insecure (understandable because gaston was probably a better boyfriend for all those people [real])#[from here on i'm gonna yap but like... YAP - get ready]#type of flings/situationships/whatever i think he had:#LUNA/GASTON : [barely a fling/ a kinda relationship (?)] - them just trying it out for the hell of it#they had a lot of fun and it strengthened their friendship#they never talk about it unless they're sure that they're by themselves#gaston sometimes reminiscences about it in front of others(to make luna panic/embarass)but in such a vague enough way that they don't get i#it always comes off as them play-fighting#it either happened before he and nina got together (which is what i'm running with for this post) or they did it after she left#because they were the closest to her and were the only people that could understand what it meant to lose nina#(luna also dated her in the past by this point)#GASTON/NINA: [literally canon and one of the main ships] so i don't have to explain it i guess#GASTON/SIMON: [was a “they were all in their feelings” during those moments - kind of deal]#that scene i reposted the other day is a good way to pinpoint when they started to actually eye eachothers /put a start to what they had#it ended two or three months later - don't know who put an end to it between them#but it wasn't a problem because they both had something else they wanted to focus on more - they're extremely chill about this#GASTON/AMBAR: [kinda the same - got to know eachother when they were kids and became extremely close (even tho it took A BIT since#even if gaston came from a good family ambar was still as standoffish as now (and also a bit shy even if she wouldn't admit it)]#gaston was the one that did the first step#at that point ambar actually never stopped to think about dating in general but especially him#but the idea of losing him as a friend for something so stupid as a relationship terrified her#he reassured her that whatever happened nothing between them would've changed#which was real but also not really#they ended up breaking up a year and a half later and became a bit awkward around eachothers for a bit (mostly because of ambar)#they're still cordial with eachothers
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okay actually I want to copy-paste what I wrote, because I think I ended up writing a REALLY good summary/advertisement for She-Ra--
Okay, so. Uh. Things to know:
It's listed as five seasons but it's actually four, because the second season was split into seasons two and three.
The animation budget was not super high, and you can tell. It improves in later seasons but it's still a little wonky here and there.
Like most animated shows theoretically aimed at children (it's rated y7 in the US), the first season takes a while to get going, because they have to introduce all the characters. The actual plot does start in the very first episode, though; and some fan-favorite moments of the show are in that first season.
When people say "yeah it's gay," they're not kidding lol. You could absolutely make the argument that there's not a single cishet character in the whole show. That said: I've met people who completely missed all the extremely heavy subtext up until the very last season. Somehow. But if you've already watched some Gay Cartoons or been in fandom before, there's obvious hints from episode one. JFC I remember watching that first episode and going "oh shit. They meant for us to ship this. It's....not even subtle."
If enemies to lovers is not your thing, you will not enjoy it. And by enemies I mean literally almost killing each other.
There are also themes of child abuse and religious trauma. They manage to not pull any punches while working around the y7 rating. If you're a child abuse survivor (hi!) or a religious trauma survivor (the show runner grew up conservative Calvinist/PCA) there's a few scenes which might be hard to watch, but everyone's different. (The themes around religious trauma are mostly told via allegory. The child abuse stuff is not.)
If you spend much time on any site where people are talking about the show you will be heavily, HEAVILY spoiled for a huge plot point at the end; but that might not bother you? I know I have a friend who refused to start watching it until she knew how it ended, and then marathoned it.
It rewards rewatching. It's a really wild experience to start over from the beginning Knowing The Things You Know. It also rewards close watching--people's expressions changing for just a split second happens a LOT. Multiple main characters are intentionally suppressing, literally unaware of, or lying to themselves/other people about their feelings and motives; and close watching/rewatching means picking up on that stuff, which (imho) is like, 80% of what makes it so damn fun.
I make the show sound entirely serious, and it's not lol, there's a lot of humor in it, too. It's not some grimdark edgy thing For Kids. Parts of it are fucking hilarious.
Someone on a she ra meme sub: hey Reddit keeps suggesting this sub, even tho I haven’t seen she-ra. I do like gay cartoons. But like. How gay is it
A few people: I mean it’s not really gay until the last season
Me, without having read any other replies: it’s gay from the first episode if you know what subtext is
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I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂
#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one#prob best if u don't expand the tags#am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time#so I think I get a pass on this one.#one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch#it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie!#there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who#have not. okay so far so normal.#and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that#when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in#a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs#and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and#they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times#like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying#I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so#I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of#them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in#their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door#this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl#this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything#AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great#emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too#is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!'#I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of#knowing how to coexist politely in public#anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out.#I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who#found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness#I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think#hater hour over love u guys bye
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