#I just sat there while they smoked weed and I pet their cat

[astroels]

Pretty girl

E.Williams x Reader

Cw: weed usage, making out, bad flirting, Ellie gets eaten out and fingered, reader thigh rides and gets fingered, use of soft/sweet pet names, supposed to be lovey dovey sex, their first time, porn with some plot, tit sucking, Ellie is a little awkward

Wc: 3.3k

A/n: inspired by the song nuts, also using this as an excuse to imagine a high fuck with Ellie to make myself feel better, and sweet so I can feel the love, feel free to leave criticism, first time writing smut like this :)

I'm making this with how I imagine her in Jackson before everything traumatizing happens in tlou2

MDNI +18

-

The invite from Dina earlier on about sneaking past midnight to hangout with her, Jesse, and Ellie wandered through your mind all day. You knew it was probably just to get Ellie distracted from Dina and Jesse basically eye fucking each other the whole time. But then again, knowing weed came with the package was convincing enough. You needed the reliever and who knows? maybe you and Ellie could connect further than greetings and her helping out when you struggled.

-

Upon your arrival, Dina guided you into a basement with a small L-shaped couch. It definitely wasn't any of their houses. You assumed it was just a hideout. "Let me go grab everything real quick." She let out a friendly wink to you and left you with Jesee and Ellie. Standing around awkwardly was going to be the death of you, so you decided to take a seat next to Ellie, which happened to be the corner that formed the L, considering Dina would be snuggled with Jesse on the other side. As you sat, Ellie gave you a welcoming smile and focused her attention back to Jesse as he spoke.

"Never took you for the type to smoke," Jesse let out while fixing his sitting position to lay back further. "Just need the relief today, that's all." Jesse nodded with an upside down grin to show his approval. But you can't help but notice the smirk he gives Ellie with raised eyebrows after, and the way she just hides her smile at the gesture. It feels like they know something you don't, perhaps just an inside joke.

Dina comes seconds later with two joints. Were those to share? Surely one was for her and Jesse, that left you and Ellie having to share it. Rather intimate for someone you didn't know well, but fuck it, you were here already. "Here ya go." Dina gently threw the lighter at Ellie while giving you your joint. "Hope you don't mind sharing, only got two from last patrol." Ellie and you both looked at each other at the same time for an answer. Both of you awkwardly laughed, "yeah, t's alright." Ellie said as she gestured you to come closer, patting the spot next to her.

Jesse lit the joint while it laid on Dina's lips; Eyeing them both, Ellie turned to you with one of her smirks and the childish fire in her eyes, "Wanna try that?" Of course you did, the thought of it felt so intimate, it made your heart beat fast. "Yeah, yeah," you said as you quickly placed the joint between your lips.

Ellie watched you intently, never letting go of her focus on you. After she saw you put your hand back down, Ellie held your jaw with her hand to keep it steady as she turned on the lighter with her other. "This alright?" She asked in such a gentle voice, you swear you were feeling butterflies in your stomach. Her touch felt like fire you'd been waiting for her to ignite this whole time. You felt yourself get warm, but there was a fire in front of you after all. You simply let out a, mhm, and she lit it.

You inhaled, taking in the strong aroma of it. Turning away from Ellie, you exhaled, feeling the breathe of your lungs leaving. After the first drag, you passed it to Ellie as Jesse spoke. "So, uh," Jesse gestered his head towards Ellie, "Saw you talking to Cat earlier this week." Ellie started coughing, the air of the joint getting stuck in her lungs. Dina gave Jesse an unsure stare as Ellie talked. "Yeah, she uhm, wanted to give me some of my stuff back." Ellie quickly took another drag after her words.

You found yourself growing curious of her relationship with Cat. You were never too deep in their circle, so word never got to you. As she passed you the joint, you spoke before inhaling. "Were you guys anything serious?" This was your opportunity to finally break in and see if you stood a chance with her, before you thought about falling too hard. You began to inhale once she started talking. "Yeah, I'd like to think so," Ellie nodded her head along with her words. You passed the joint to Ellie as Dina spoke.

Dina, noticing the tense atmosphere, pitched in jokingly, "Well if you ever break my heart, you're never getting anything back." She grinned towards Jesse after her remark. "How about, I just never give you anything from now on," He grinned even wider, raising his brows to make his comment feel light. "Rude." Dina jokingly smacked him, telling him he'd better not. Those two got along so well with their jokes, you just wondered how long they'd be fine this time, knowing their relationship. "Well how about you." He gestered his eyes towards you. "You ever been in anything serious?"

"Not really no, not much time to think about that sorta stuff." Both Jesse and Dinna nodded in understanding. You breathed in the smoke again, waiting for the nerves to start releasing from your body. You looked at Ellie to see her reaction, see if any part of her wanted you. Just as you thought she wasn't going to say anything, she went ahead. "Ever think about it?" Passing her the joint, your fingers brushed against hers, both of you making eye contact. It was now or never to give her a hint. "I've had my eye on someone."

Jesse and Dina being the instigators they are, gave each other sneaky smirks and agreed it was their time to go. "Alright, well, I think we should be going." Jesse stood as Dina put out their joint. "Got patrol in the morning, and this one," He looks at Dina, "is a horrible morning riser." Both you and Ellie laugh at his comment, nodding to their departure. Before Dina makes her way out she says Jesse is the actual horrid riser, in redemption.

-

After they are both gone, a silence falls between you and Ellie. You don't want to leave just yet, you still haven't left your stresses behind and find odd comfort in Ellie's presence. Could be the weed, but it felt so good. Clearing your throat quickly, you speak "So, uhm, I still have some time to kill." You tilt your head, looking at her. "If you do?" You said in a questioning tone. Ellie looked up to meet your eyes too, taking the joint from you. "Yeah, I do." Her voice came out raspy. You loved the tune of her voice, the way it filled your ears made you feel high alone.

Starting to lose nerves, you're able to relax and be more forward with Ellie while talking. It's all you've needed all night. "Are you usually this quiet?" You ask Ellie in genuine curiosity. You'd thought that she was really out going with how you saw her joke around. Ellie let's out a wonky smile, tilting her head, "Only around pretty girls." In turn, you smiled at her after exhaling the smoke from the drag you took. Ellie's confidence seemed to boost; The weed was finally letting things come out. Passing her the joint, you look her in the eyes, "You're not too bad yourself, babe." Calling people babe had become a habit, a bad one.

Ellie's facial expression quickly goes from shocked to a smirk. God, you loved that smirk. "Babe, huh?" Ellie moved herself closer to you, inhaling and exhaling from the joint, one last time. "Babe fits you pretty well," you replied, moving close and tilting your head. Without question, she put out the joint on the tray that laid on the coffee table. Eyeing the way the muscles on her arm moved with her tattoo made you feel warm. You bet they'd feel as good as they looked. Ellie caught you staring, which made her move her arms more consciously, aware of your stare.

Not knowing what to say next, Ellie scoots closer subtly, looking from your lips to your eyes. You wanted to kiss her lips since the beginning of the night. The way they wrapped around the joint, they looked incredibly enticing to make yours. You gave Ellie the same look, begging her with your eyes to kiss you already. With this, she leaned in, just close enough to almost touch your lips. You decided to close the distance after she gave a subtle nod to your eyes.

Ellie deepened the kiss, grabbing your face to hold it steady and long. She seemed to be getting hungry, wanting access to your mouth even further. It felt like she had never gone slow before, never took her time. Before she could try anything, you pull away, wanting to bask in the moment of sweetness. "Slow, Els." She nodded in understanding as you finally connected your lips again.

This time, it feels more intimate, soft with the hints of hunger needed to make it passionate. Each time you took a moment to breathe, there was a want in her eyes, a need that she had for this. Her eyes looked dreamy, the hazziness adding to the constant tension between the air. Ellie bites your bottom lip with urgency, impatient that you made her wait. You gasp at the sudden pain as she leads the kissing at her pace.

She holds your jaw as you hold her hair to control the motions while kissing. Your other hand snakes down to tug at her shirt. Once she gets the hint, she sits up a little straighter to pull it off. While she does, you stand up and make her switch positions with you, leaving her at the corner part of the couch. Not wanting Ellie to feel lonely in her sports bra, you take off your shirt.

The way Ellie looked laid back on her elbows, waiting for you, made your heart feel heavy. Her eyes moving to each of your curves and marks made you hot inside. Assuming Ellie was ready, you straddled her, your bottom making contact with her upper thighs. This movement made Ellie mutter under her breath in shock. She was so awkward in this hottest way possible.

"Fuck, uhm, where do I?" Ellie held her hands up, scared to make you uncomfortable with her hand placement. "Anything is alright, babe." You led her arms to your hips, giving her access to explore anywhere she wanted. As you leaned down to continue kissing Ellie, you felt her squeeze the skin that covered your hips. She did this motion as if she'd been doing it for all her life, moving up and down your sides slightly.

After a while, you made your way down her neck, leaving your saliva and marks on it. Ellie let out small gasps and moans under your touch when you reached near her ear. The way it sounded was everything you had ever dreamed. It sounded almost pornographic when she let out a noise. Craving her noises, you continued to suck on that spot till you eventually made your way down to her sports bra. Without a thought, Ellie propped herself up, and you helped her take it off, throwing it somewhere behind the couch.

You could see Ellie's nipples harden due to the exposed cold air. Ellie felt insecure to the sudden exposure, but quickly forgot once she felt your tounge on her right boob. You swirled your tounge around her nipple as you played with the other with your hand. A string of saliva was left as you copied the motion to her other boob, making your way down her stomach. You could feel the way it hardened with each tense motion Ellie made. Once you reached the waistband of her jeans, you looked up. "C'mon, pretty baby, help me out." you said in a sweet tone. Ellie let out a little laugh and picked up her waist, so you could pull her pants down, worrying about her underwear next. Once her jeans were completely off, you asked before going any further.

"This alright?" You hooked your finger under her underwear. Ellie looked down on you, looking a bit flustered. "No one's actually ever, uhm, gone down on me." She let out a breathe as if it was the biggest secret ever. Your heart fluttered at the thought of you being her first, the first to ever give her the pleasure. "That's alright, you tell me what feels good, yeah?" Ellie nodded, biting her lip as she waited for you to pull her underwear down. You pulled them, making sure to untangle them from her ankles. Her pussy looked so pretty, waiting in anticipation. You pushed her legs open with your arms as you made space for your head.

As you hooked your arm against her legs, you began to kiss her inner thigh, teasing her before touching her pussy. You could feel Ellie's low breathing and squirms at the sensitive tissue on her thigh. You inched closer to her center and finally saw how wet she was. It covered her folds so sweetly. It reminded you of a popsicle melting, just waiting to be licked up. You started at her opening, collecting the slickness to bring evenly to the top. This alone had Ellie's breath faltering. When you reached her clit, you swirled your tounge around it, wanting to gain a reaction of Ellie's gasps. You sucked on her clit sloppily, looking up to see her red doozy eyes staring at you. Her breathe hitched, her chest rising and falling with the motions of your mouth.

You went down to her opening to tease it some more. "Fuck, babe." Ellie said in a broken voice. You moved your mouth back up to tease her clit as you added a finger in. Her pussy accepted it with ease, seeming ready for another. "Are you okay for the second one?" You hummed, picking your head up slightly to see her face. A second hadn't even gone by when Ellie nodded her head with a mhm. When you slid in the second finger, Ellie's pussy clenched around them in want. You wanted to tease her about it, but she had already looked flustered, her tattooed arm laid across her face, hiding her eyes. "I'll take care of you, sweet girl." you cooed at her while dipping back down to her pussy.

You pumped your fingers slightly in and out while you switched from a hooked gesture and back to normal with your fingers. As Ellie got used to it, she started getting more vocal, letting out moans of pleasure. You decided to encircle her clit with your mouth again, wanting to get the most from this. As soon as Ellie felt the shocking waves, she couldn't help but become more vocal. "Oh fuck'm, babe, right there," you hummed into her pussy as acknowledgement of her comment. You fucked her with your fingers at a faster pace, feeling her clench and stomach tense up more often. " 'm gonna come, holy fuck," It came out as a slurred moan, but you understood her. Picking up your head, you watched the way her boobs moved with her grinding to catch her wave faster. Within the second, you felt her pussy clench a final time and release her juices. Helping her ride out her orgasm, you removed your fingers and lapped at her cunt with your tounge.

Once she calmed, her head tilted down, she looked even more dreamy than before. She quickly positioned her legs closed, pulling you in for a kiss. As sloppy as it was, you enjoyed the taste of her on your tongue and the way it mixed with her saliva now. Ellie pulled away after a few seconds to speak. "You're fucking amazing at that," You flushed and giggled, replying "You coulda had me way sooner y'know." Ellie just grinned not knowing what to say. She had her hands massaging your hips again.

With the feeling of Ellie beneath you, you quickly became aware of how wet you had been and how much you needed her. Ellie seemed to notice the shift in your playful attitude. She patted your ass as a signal to get up. "Take these off f'me." You quickly got up to unbutton your jeans, taking them off and leaving them on the floor. You decided to do the same with your underwear, leaving yourself in your bra. Ellie patiently waited for you, eyeing your every movement. You could see her eyes looking at every inch of you, licking her lips unconsciously.

You decided to straddle her thigh instead of her waist this time, desperate to feel release. When your pussy came in contact with her skin, it felt heavenly, it was cold compared to the heat from your pussy. Ellie smirked at the feeling of your wetness on her. You leaned down to kiss her, completely enthralled in making out with her while grinding. You had your hand on Ellie's chest and the other on her jaw to stable yourself while she had hands on your ass, guiding you. The way she helped you move made you moan into her mouth so often. Eventually, Ellie moved from your mouth, leaving small kisses down your jaw towards your neck. She nibbled while sucking, gaining whines from you.

Ellie reached your chest, quickly fumbling with the clasp to remove your bra. Once she did, she placed her plump lips on your tits, sucking and twirling her tounge everywhere. You held your hands in her hair, messing it up to follow your pleasure. Your ass felt cold as Ellie removed a hand. She instead moved her tatted arm under your pussy. She moved her fingers towards your slit and back up to your clit, collecting your slickness. Her fingers had been a completely different pleasure. You could feel their coldness and the way they were rough. You couldn't contain your want for her any longer. "Els, please just put 'em in already." It came out in a low gaspy tone. "We're getting there, pretty girl," is all she said when she detached herself from your boobs. Ellie continued to tease your clit, aggravatingly slow. Her other hand had to stop you from bucking into her fingers.

After a few moment, Ellie put her ring and middle finger in. With the sudden insertion, You held her close, letting out moans near her ear for her to hear. Ellie moved her fingers at a constant pace in you. You met her pace, grinding on her fingers for the extra pleasure. "You look so sweet like this, my pretty girl." Ellie said it in such a way that sounded demeaning. There was a sudden flush of embarrassment that ran through your blood, but you continued to grind on her fingers, bringing her face back to your lips to kiss. The build up of how well she was hitting your right spots warmed your body. Everything felt extra hazy, as if you were reaching the stars. "Els, I'm close," that was all Ellie needed to precede going.

Ellie kept hitting the spot, making you moan out loud, sounding pornographic. You were clenching around Ellie's fingers unapologetically, so close. Once you came, Ellie continued, helping you ride out your orgasm. Still straddling Ellie's thigh, she brought up her fingers and licked them clean, staring right at you. "You taste 'sgood, my pretty girl." Your grin reached your ears without you wanting to. You were just so happy to have done this with her, happy she chose you.

You and Ellie both flopped after, cuddling, skin to skin, on the couch. "I think I love you, Els." The sudden confession made Ellie giggle. "I think it's a little too late for that, my love." She said and gave you a kiss on your forehead. Both of you knew you should've gotten up and left, but you were much too tired, and enjoyed the closeness of each other. Whoever woke up first, would deal with it, for now you were happy being her pretty girl.

->

Tags: @prrimordiais @puckssbunny @hazelnutsforellie @soapisokay @ellieismami

[kallso]

Cat in the hat but old

I’ve had this brainrot gathering dust in my head for a while, so now it can rot in you guys’s brains! This is going to be based directly from the PBS Kids series “The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That” because that’s the version I grew up with.

(editor Kallso here, this story contains mental and physical health problems, drug and alcohol abuse, and psychotic breakdowns- If I portrayed these thing’s incorrectly in others opinions then I apologize and please let me know because I am very inexperienced with Most of the things these characters go through in the story, I am only 13 so please don’t send hate towards me as if I was an adult. I do appreciate constructive criticism on how I can improve this concept though!)

———

It’s years in the future, Sally and Nick have both graduated collage, Sally a year before her best friend Nick. The Cat stopped coming by after they reached middle school, and they forgot all about him after a while, along with things 1 and 2, and the fish, the tree doctor, and all of their odd animal friends. Current day, Nick is 22 and going through some things. His girlfriend left him, he’s grown apart from most of his friends, and his mental state is deteriorating. His best friend since grade school Sally, has been worrying about him.

But she has her own problems. At home she has to sweep and mop the floors, make dinner, dust, feed her parents goldfish, and do just about everything. She’s taking care of her sick mother, her father died of a tumor years before. Now her mother has a bad case of the Flu, despite her not being very old, she had a fever well past 105. The now 24 Sally didn’t have time to look after Nick. After all he was a grown man.

Now, drugs and weed had never passed Nicks mind once. But he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, thought he’d try out cigarettes. In a vape and smoke shop he noticed two guys on shrooms outside, they waved him over to come hang out. He sat with them for a while, thinking they were just drunk or lunatics. One passed him some oddly fragrant tea. He was having a rough time and his head wasn’t thinking. He took a sip.

Sally found time in her busy days to feed stray cats. She rarely found any, but recently a black and white cat had been stopping by. She had simply been calling the young tomcat, “the cat” since there were no other cats she took care of. Most times when she fed a stray it would stay a few days and get ran over later while wandering. But this cat never left the yard. He would always purr and lean on her legs whenever Sally pet him. She soon took him inside and put a red bow around his neck. She did find it strange how the cat had an odd hatred for milk though.

Meanwhile Nick found himself hanging out with his so called friends more often. Getting drunk, smoking weed, drinking shrooms tea, all he ever worried about was going to his day job to get money for more drugs and alcohol. No no, he wasn’t addicted! This was just his way to escape reality a bit. He just needed an outlet to relieve his stress and forget his hardships! Right?

Sally was folding clothes, laying them out in piles on her bed. The cat was on her dresser, messing with a small wicker basket with white and red stripes she had that was about halfway full of cat treats. She hadn’t noticed the silly cat on her dresser, as she was busy sorting her and her mothers clothes. The cat pawed at the basket, not long before falling off the dresser. His claws gripped to the basket and he dragged it down with him. Sally turned and chucked, the basket had landed on his head like a hat. She stared at the cat for a moment, thinking he looked oddly familiar, before petting the cat and making sure he was unharmed.

Nick was in the hospital. His illusions while on shrooms and pot had gotten too vivid, he was thinking back on old times, looking into the past when he remembered a large human size cat always playing with them. It led to night terrors about the cat, sad about being forgotten, upset that he had nobody to play with anymore. The person in the apartment next door heard a lot of noise, and called the police, who soon showed up to find a young adult Nick crying on his bed, begging for a cat to leave, saying sorry for leaving the cat. The cops took him to the local hospital to get him checked on, to make sure he was mentally well.

Sally walked into the white room with chords everywhere, with the smell of cleaning alcohol plaguing the room. “Hello Nick,” she said as she walked towards the hospital bed slowly, the cat in her arms.

“Hey Sally, how’ve you been?” He asked as he sat up, looking up and down at his old friend

———

I DID NOT EXPECT TO WRITE A WHOLE FANFIC HOLY F* now I have to draw concept art

I hope this is well received, no I am not clinically insane for thinking about this concept

[eratolasting]

Fifteen (Eddie Munson x Reader)

Summary: You hate Eddie Munson with a passion.

Warnings: Smut, cheating, enemies to lovers, semi-public sex.

MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY

Part One // Part Two // Part Three

You sat with your knees up on the couch, one arm lazily wrapped around them while the other cradled a beer. There was a party going on around you. Sort of. It was the normal group, and not a whole lot of people, but if you were honest you would rather be curled up at home, reading a book. Parties weren't much your speed, not since high school, and you had to get up early to work tomorrow. 

But, you wanted to satisfy him. Your boyfriend. You always wanted to satisfy him. So you bit the bullet and drank your beer while he fucked around with his friends, the radio playing loudly in the background. 

You tilted your head back to look up at the ceiling before standing up. 

"Going out for a cigarette." You told your boyfriend, Patrick, and slipped out the front door. You sat down on the steps leading up to the house and pulled your pack out, knocking it against the palm of your hand a few times and then plucking one out with your fingers. 

You lit it up and took a drag, letting the smoke flow from between your lips as you let the cool night air calm the redness in your cheeks. You closed your eyes, relaxing for a moment. You really just wanted to go home. You were tired, a little cranky, and so ready to be snuggled in your sheets. 

The sound of a car pulling up broke you from your comfortable thoughts and you looked up, taking another drag off of your cigarette before groaning. 

He was here. Of course he fucking was. Patrick had been talking about wanting weed all night. Of course he would call his hook-up. You wondered, for a moment, if you could escape before he saw you because you really didn't want to deal with him tonight on top of everything else.

But, he was already hopping out of his van, Reebok's crunching the gravel beneath them. He had that stupid black lunchbox he kept his stash in and a dumb grin on his face. 

You refrained from groaning and instead chose to look up at the stars and ignore him. You hoped he wouldn't run his stupid mouth at you. 

But, of course, you couldn't get what you wanted. You never did, did you?

"Heya, sweetheart." He greeted, perching one foot on the step next to you. 

You rolled your eyes and continued to ignore him. He loves pushing your buttons. You wouldn't let him tonight. 

"What? Cat got your tongue already? Poor baby." He cooed, and reached up to brush some of your hair back. 

You grabbed his wrist before he could get too close and shot him the death glare. He laughed in response and tugged his arm from your grasp. 

"C'mon, princess. I'm just sayin' hi."

"Fuck off, Munson." You snapped at him. "I'm not in the mood."

"Ah, but you never are, are you darling? You're always pissy with me. Starting to think you hate me or something." He chuckled. He took your cigarette from between your fingers and took a drag off of it. 

You snatched it back, burning your fingers on the ashes as it crumpled under your force. 

You hissed softly at the burn and dropped it quickly, cradling your hand against your chest. 

"Ah, shit. I didn't mean-"

"Just fuck off, Munson." You spat at him. Your fingers burned softly in your grasp.

He seemed to get the message then and finished up the steps, pausing at the door for a moment as if considering saying something, before he shook his head and stepped inside. 

You finally pulled your hand back to look at it. The burns weren't bad, just a soft tinge of red on the middle of your middle and ring fingers. You'd be fine. 

But your blood boiled from the inside. God you hated him and his stupid sense of humor and his pet names and his face and his hair and his tattoos and his dumb, huge eyes. 

Whatever. You'd get over it. And he'd be gone soon, anyways.

You sighed and got up, heading back inside. 

"-and I've got this new party drug. It's called ecstasy, starting to make it's way around clubs and shit. It makes you feel real good, man. Your body gets all tingly and shit." 

"Yeah, I think we'll just stick with weed tonight. But thanks, Munson." Patrick said, handing over a few twenties as Eddie packed his things back up. 

"Nah, thank you guys for paying my bills." He shook the twenties before shoving them in his wallet. 

God his stupid hands. His stupid rings. 

You heaved a heavy sigh and found your place back on the couch, picking your beer up again to take a long drink of it. 

"Well, shit. You're already here, do you wanna stick around and hang out?"

God, no. Please, no. Please go home. 

"No thanks. I have some other runs to make tonight, but maybe next time." Eddie waved him off and picked up his lunchbox. "See you guys next time."

There was a chorus of goodbyes as he left, and you released a breath you didn't know you'd been holding. 

You'd hated Eddie Munson since the 4th grade. It was a petty reason, at first, but since then you'd grown to hate his personality. His dumb, smug personality. 

He'd pushed you off the swing set, and never apologized for it. You had skinned knees and palms for a week - and at the time, that was the worst pain you'd ever experienced. 

Now, though, you hated him for much more adult reasons. He knew it. That's why he pushed your buttons so much. He knew exactly how to do it, too. It drove you crazy. 

"Babe, this shits really good! Come take a hit." 

Reluctantly, though, you had to admit he sold stellar fucking weed. 

Patrick fucked you lazily that night. Normally, he was a generous lover - but not the best one you'd ever had. You didn't mind, though. He was a good boyfriend. For the most part. Most of the time. 

When you woke up the next morning you thankfully didn't have a hangover as you got ready for work. You were hoping for a calm and quiet day, honestly. Nothing crazy. Just a relaxing day at work - and then you could go home and read a book and take a bath. Maybe drink some wine? Yeah, that sounded good.

Obviously, though, the world had other plans for you. 

The bell above the door jingled as you were restocking the shelves with new books. Your associate was on break, so you were alone in the store for now. It was a fairly slow day so far, and you turned to great the customer with a wide smile. 

"Welcome in! Is there any-" But you stopped short, seeing who it was. Your smile fell. 

Eddie. Freaking. Munson. 

"What do you want, Munson?" You asked, climbing down from your ladder so you didn't fall when you got too angry. 

"Can we talk?" He asked, looking a little sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

Your fingers burned in memory of last night. 

"We are talking." You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. You didn't even know how he'd found you. 

He shook his head, "No, like in private? Alone?"

You rolled your eyes and looked towards the back room. "Look, I don't really want to talk to you. Plus my associate is on break. I can't just walk off."

"I can wait. Please?" He looked at you with those dumb brown doe eyes.

Something inside you cracked. 

"Fine." You sighed, and went back to stocking books. He browsed while you both waited for your associate to come back from break. 

What could he want? Why now? Why today? Why not last night when you had been alone? 

You didn't care. You just wanted to get it over with. 

"I'm taking my break." You told your associate, before heading to the back with Eddie. 

"Fifteen minutes, Munson." You told him. 

You leaned back against the wall as he paced back and forth in front of you, not saying anything. 

"Tick, tock." You reminded. 

"Fuck, I'm trying, it's not that easy." He huffed. 

"Just spit it out already." You dropped your hands against your sides. 

"Why do you hate me?"

Huh?

"What?" You asked, as if needing him to repeat the question. 

"Why do you hate me?" He did. Just for you. 

"I…I don't…" you didn't think you'd ever be confronted with this. You didn't think this would ever be a conversation. 

"Look, I just need to know, okay? And then I'll leave you alone. I promise." He bit his cheek. 

You stood silently for a moment, mulling over his words before sighing and rubbing your face. 

"Do you remember fourth grade?" You asked him, a little timidly. 

"Briefly." He nodded. 

"You pushed me off of the swing set. And never apologized." It sounded so fucking stupid now that it has verbally come out of your mouth. 

"Seriously?" He laughed, "Well, if that's all it is- I'm sorry. I don't even remember that." 

You swallowed. 

"I just…really grew to hate you. And the way you can get under my skin. I guess … I don't like that you can see through me." You'd never even admitted that to yourself before. 

But, you did. You threw up a wall to everyone around you and didn't let anyone past it. And somehow, Eddie fucking Munson, could see right through it. 

"Look, I never meant to…get under your skin. You just…you make me nervous." He told you. 

You snorted. "Me? Make you nervous? Why?"

He licked his lips. "You're like… incredibly sexy. All the fucking time. And I can't ever get you out of my head. It's like you're… a song that's on repeat, constantly. Everytime I see you, I just… my brain turns into mush and goes on auto pilot. Okay? I don't mean to piss you off or get under your skin, I… I've been into you since sophomore year of high school. That day you came in with that little white dress on? And you had on red lipstick. Fuck, it was just so.." he stopped himself, and swallowed. 

Wow. 

The last thing you were expecting was this. Ever. Especially today. 

Against your will, your heart fluttered lightly and your cheeks flushed. You ran your fingers through your hair a few times before clearing your throat. 

"I don't know what to say…" you told him honestly. 

But, hey. At least you weren't pissed at him. 

"Say you'll let me take you out?" 

"I have a boyfriend, Eddie." That was…the first time you'd ever said his actual name. 

"Right, Patrick." He looked down at his feet. 

You almost felt bad for him. Almost. Because you were crossing the floor to him, then, and you gently took his chin in hand so he'd look at you. 

Looking into his brown eyes, you realized that your hate all these years had been you trying to push down the fact that you liked him, too. You liked that someone saw through you. You liked that he knew how to tease you. 

You licked your lips, and kissed him. 

Shocked, he didn't kiss back at first. But soon he relaxed into the kiss and backed you up against the wall. 

You sighed, happily, into the kiss and wrapped you arms around his neck, pulling him closer.  His hands rested on your hips, squeezing softly. You could feel his rings lightly digging into your sides and you moaned softly against his lips. 

He pulled from the kiss and looked down at you, amused. 

You felt heat pool between your thighs at that look. 

"How long do we have?" He asked, his voice a little breathless. 

You looked around him at the clock. "Ten minutes. But I can be a little late. I'm the manager, after all." 

He squeezed your sides with a grin and dipped down to kiss you again. His tongue brushed over your bottom lip and you responded, parting your lips for him to let him in. His tongue explored your mouth. He tasted like cigarettes and mint. Like he'd been expecting this outcome. The thought made you giggle softly and he pulled back to look at you. 

"What?" He asked with a grin as his hand slid slowly between your legs. 

"Nothing. Just kiss me, idiot."

He obliged, sliding his tongue back into your mouth as yours rubbed and brushed against his in a new dance you found together. 

His hand pressed up against your core through your jeans, rubbing softly. You moaned into his mouth, your hips moving against him. 

His fingers plucked your jeans open and pulled the zipper down, and his hand slipped into your panties to toy with your clit. You slipped a hand down from his neck to rub his cock slowly through his jeans. 

Your moans mixed softly in the quiet of the back room. You hoped nobody would be able to hear you outside. 

After a while of teasing each other, you pulled from the kiss. 

"Fuck, I want you." You gasped to him, your legs shaking slightly. 

"Turn 'round." He told you. 

You did, and he dragged your jeans and panties down to your knees. You heard his belt buckle behind you and his jeans were soon down as well. You heard the ever present sound of a condom wrapper crinkling.

You turned your head to look at him, watch him roll on a condom. 

"You really were prepared." You teased him, placing your hands on the wall before bending slightly in front of him. 

"Yeah," he laughed, grabbing his cock in one hand. His other hand covered yours on the wall, lacing your fingers together as he rubbed the top of his legnth against your sopping wet cunt. 

Slowly, he pushed in. You tensed up slightly at the intrusion. Well…he was definitely bigger than Patrick. 

You swallowed down a moan and let your head drop as he squeezed your hand. His other one grabbed your hip and his thumb rubbed against your skin softly. 

"You good?" He asked.

"Yeah," You gasped out softly and started rocking back on him. 

He chuckled lowly before pulling back and thrusting back in deeply. 

You placed a hand over your mouth to muffle the moan that threatened to escape. God you felt so full with him inside of you. So stretched. 

He found a quick pace inside of you, wanting to get it over with fast so you could get back to work. His hands were squeezing you where they lay and you had to press your forehead agaisnt the wall. 

"Fuck… you're so tight." He groaned. 

You moaned behind your hand. 

"Let me help you with that." He grinned, his hand on yours moving to your mouth. He slid two fingers past your lips and you moaned around them, your tongue sliding over them as you sucked. This was fucking hot. 

His hips worked faster inside of your pussy and you moaned louder as you felt your orgasm building up. 

"You gotta cum, baby… been thinking about this for years and it's fucking…better than I imagined.." he whispered hotly into your ear. 

You moaned around his fingers in response. 

"C'mon, baby. Cum for me. Cum on my hard cock." 

You tightened around him as he pressed into your sweet spot and cried out, high pitched, as you finally came. Your pussy throbbed and clenched around him as he continued pounding into you until his hips stuttered to a stop as he emptied himself into the rubber.

Your legs felt like jelly. 

Slowly, he pulled out of you and slid his fingers from your mouth. 

You turned around to look at him, leaning against the wall, panting. 

"So?" He asked. 

"So?" You laughed softly, breathless. 

"How about that date?" 

[necros-writing-stuff]

he won't leave my mind so here’s some M!Whitney headcanons

SFW (slight angst)

My personal thoughts for his home life are that he was raised by a single, rich, alcoholic father after his mother died when he was young.

His father calls him worthless and similar insults a lot, neglecting him after his mother's death. Its part of the reason why he stopped trying at school, instead choosing to be a delinquent and get validation from others.

His dad cut him off financially, that's why he started mugging and pilfers the fountain.

He looks a lot like his mother's, even had her temperament as a kid, but is growing to be more like his father and hates it.

His whole 'this town sucks' stuff makes me think he'd go for a job like a defence lawyer, or maybe even into social work for at risk kids.

Emo phase. You can't tell me any differently. His over the eye fringe is a dead giveaway. Oh and he definitely skates, probably started smoking weed with the other skaters at the park. Constantly has bruised knees and grazed elbows from bailing on failed tricks.

You know how he plays with the PCs hair a lot? I think he maybe had a cousin who he spent a lot of time around (to avoid his dad), treating her like a sister, even learning to braid her hair. I think its calming for him.

If his s/o were to defend him in front of his dad? +++++++ Love right there. He's planning the wedding.

Don't mention that there's a gaggle of cats that gather at the back door, at a specific time, every day. Especially don't mention how he spends an hour feeding them slices of ham and gently talking to them.

NSFW

Part of the reason why he's so into exhibitionism is because it's how he seeks approval. Its the same when he shares his s/o, he wants to give people a taste of how good he has it

Once he leaves school and gains a bit more confidence in himself, the need to share lessens. He may even become possessive, depending on the relationship.

Takes a lot of videos of his s/o coming, whether it's on his cock, fingers, or tongue, he loves to re-watch them when he bored.

Loves having his face sat on, somehow it doesn't shut him up and you can still hear muffled dirty talk underneath you while he teases.

He secretly is a service top. Loves making his s/o orgasm, shows them off to try and prove how good they are, even the pet play is him hiding wanting to take care of them.

His form of aftercare is just existing next to each other in silence. You can rest your head on his chest, if you like, but he likes it quiet afterwards. Bonus points if its raining, he'll get up and open the window so he can listen to it and feel his s/o close at the same time.

Buys his s/o lots of sweet foods to suck on ("for not being annoying"), it's so he can watch them suck on it in public and get himself riled up.

Will come up behind his s/o if they're on the phone and use his mouth on them to see if they get caught. He doesn't care who's on the other side of the phone.

Insists on leaving the windows open when he fucks you against them so the neighbours can hear and see how hard he makes you cum.

[biggest-stupidhead]

Turning Point (Levi x reader)

Summary: After graduating college, you are presented with the opportunity of becoming a “counselor” at a small rehab facility located in the vast Montana wilderness. You didn’t know much about it, just that it was for troubled teens, ran by a privately funded staff. You are eager to meet the “campers” and your fellow counselors, but you know that it won’t be easy. You’ll have to build a strong relationship with both your coworkers and the campers, who aren’t exactly happy to be there. 

Warnings: vomiting, lice, rehabilitation mentions, allusions to ED, mentally ill teens. 

Word Count: 4.6K

The bus bounced over the dirt road, making the vehicle feel like a metal death trap.The scenery was stunning, the mountainous road was not well traveled and only the occasional car whizzed by the bus. You had known that the camp would be remote, but not this isolated. Located deep in the heart of Montana, it could be reached by bush planes or the lone bus that dared traverse the mountains. A wet nose pressed against your knee and you nearly jumped out of your skin. Looking down into Aspen’s wide blue eyes you chuckled quietly and scratched behind her floppy ear. 

She was one of the few possessions that you had been allowed to bring along. The bus wasn’t the most spacious, only allowing each rider two bags. Aspen let out a huff and rested her head onto your thigh, ears drooping as she relaxed into you. You felt bad about the long drive, but she was always good on long car rides between the campus and your hometown. You absently stroked her as you allowed your eyes to wander around the bus for the millionth time. 

You look up front to see the larger lady who drove the bus with little concentration. She hummed along to an older song that didn’t seem familiar to you. Her eyes met yours in the large mirror up front. Giving you a toothy smile that showed her yellow teeth. You look away quickly, her gaze making you uneasy. The boy to your right twitches in his sleep. You hadn’t noticed him much before, he was young, his long blonde hair tangled and ratty. His old grey sneakers held small holes that showed his patterned socks. 

You wondered why he was going to the farm, seeing that it was for troubled kids in general there could be many reasons for his enrollment. On the spotty website that the rehab had provided, it had listed anger management, depression, group therapy, and a bunch of other mental resources. You turned as subtly as possible to glance at the pair in the back of the bus, two girls who shared a seat, as well as a pair of earbuds. 

Both of them had ash blonde hair, one was taller than the other maybe standing at 5’7 while the other stood at about 5’4. The one on the left kept her hair in a messy ponytail as her steel grey eyes met yours. Her lip busted, her cheek bruised as she glared at you. You could tell she didn’t like your staring. The girl beside her looked younger. Her eyes were closed as she slept calmly on the other's shoulder. Her eyes held dark circles under them, her skin was pale, and her hair was choppily cut to fall just above her shoulders. From what you could tell, she had cut it herself, but it looked good.

You see the boy from up front stretch his arms and yawn loudly. He looked at the bus driver and you could see a large smile stretch across his face. 

“Lavern, my girl.” The boy said loudly, his voice still scratchy with sleep. The older woman gave him a sly smile and turned the wheel in her moment of distraction. The bus jerked to the side, causing you to slightly swing out of your seat. Aspen yelped as her claws scratched against the floor trying to regain her balance. You blindly reached out and snagged her by her harness, barely catching her before she slipped into the seat across the aisle. 

“Connie you rascal!” Lavern let out a bark of laughter as she righted the wheel. The boy, Connie shrugged and grinned impishly back at her as she pushed a wispy lock of her bright blue hair behind her ear. 

“How much longer?” The taller girl yelled from the back, her hand wrapped around the other girl’s shoulders as she glared daggers up at the front of the bus. 

“Ten minutes sweetie.” Lavern hollered back as she pulled on a pair of dramatic red cat eyed reading glasses that had been dangling around her neck. The girl nodded, but still seemed displeased with the news. The boy turned his sly gaze onto you and you swallowed a bit nervously. His eyes widened, and yours mirrored his, he leaned forward and his stare intensified. The air that was flowing through the cracked window quickly dried out your eyeball and you blinked, tears forming. A loud clap made you jump, forcing you to open your eyes and see that Connie had clapped his hands together and rocked backwards with a victorious smirk. 

“I won!” He jeered as he hopped a seat closer to you, long locks swaying in the breeze. From the closer proximity you could make out the logo on his shirt, a lone cabin with an oak tree and fancy cursive lettering that read: “Turning Point Farms”. A dead giveaway that Connie was a returning camper. 

“What?” You said a bit nervously as Connie jumped yet another seat closer to you, his eyes now trained on Aspen, who you were still gripping. From this distance you could now smell the prominent scent of weed that hung in the air around him. He raised a brow at you and dug into his pocket, producing a dab pen, which he dangled between his index and thumb. 

“Care for a hit before a year of sobriety?” Connie asked, ignoring your befuddlement. Your mouth twisted into a frown at the sight, but you still took the pen. Pocketing the device as he stared at you in shock. You smirked at how quickly the tables had turned. 

“I’ve been sober.” You said a bit cheekily as his shoulders slumped in defeat. 

“No need to be a hard ass.” Connie grumbled as he switched his focus to your dog, who was pulling at the harness, eager to greet him. 

“Sorry.” You said weakly as you loosened your grip and allowed Aspen to sniff Connie’s offered fist. 

“Who is this?” He asked as he scratched behind her ears, much to her pleasure. 

“This is Aspen, my Australian Shepherd.” You introduced her proudly, and her stumpy tail wagged at the mention of her name. 

“Cool, how old?” Connid asked as he slipped his hands beneath her harness and scratched her sides. 

“Three years, do you have pets?” You asked, trying to find a common ground. 

“Used to have a hamster, but I flushed it down the toilet when I was six.” Connie commented nonchalantly as he pressed a kiss to Aspen’s forehead. 

“Oh...I’m sorry?” You said awkwardly as you grimaced. 

“Don’t be, he was an annoying little fucker.” Connie chuckled as he leaned back and looked out the window and immediately perked up. 

“Hey look you can see the house from here!” He said enthusiastically, pointing towards the front of the bus, which was turning down a long winding road framed by tall trees on either side. Sure enough, at the end of the long dirt drive, a massive white farmhouse sat perched on a small hill in the middle of a clearing, to the right a huge red barn sat, and even further right, a massive stable with sprawling paddocks. To the left, there was another barn, this one looked like it was more like a space for people then animals, with nice rocking chairs set up under the overhanging roof that wrapped around the barn. Behind the whole scene was the mountains and uninterrupted wilderness. 

“Been here before?” Connie called to the girls in the back, but when they showed zero interest in talking to him, he turned back to you and raised a brow. 

“Uh no.” You said with a nervous smile and he nodded before pointing out towards the stables. 

“Out that way is the lake, opposite direction is the trails.” He said with a proud nod and then pointed to the space between the barn and the house. 

“Over yonder is the chicken coop, one of my personal favorites.” He said with a wink before standing up, gripping the seat in front of him as he rocked excitedly on his heels. 

The bus came to a screeching halt and Lavern leaned forward to dig out a cigarette and lit it, blowing out a puff of smoke. She grappled with the lever for the door for a moment before cursing loudly. 

“Damn it all! Connie, come kick this piece of shit open for me sweet pea!” Connie was quick to comply, even going as far as saluting her before jogging to the doors and lifting his leg. With one swift kick the door flew open and the cool fall breeze swept in. You swept up your bags as well as Aspen’s leash before carefully picking your way down the aisle. Lavern nodded at you and pulled the cigarette out of her mouth, blowing a puff of smoke out to the side. 

“Take it easy sweet heart.” She said, voice raspy and eyes twinkling behind her dramatic glasses. 

“Thanks for the ride.” You smiled and guided Aspen down the steps and out onto the gravel drive. She panted anxiously as Connie adjusted the straps on his lone bag and pushed his long hair off of his face. 

“First thoughts?” Connie asked, looking back at you as he rested his hands on his hips. 

“It’s beautiful.” You smiled brightly at him, but you were distracted by the squeaks of the suspension as the two girls climbed down the steps. They also only carried one bag each, they looked as if they had seen better days. Or at least, you hoped that they had. The taller girl was keeping the other girl upright as she struggled to stand on her own. 

“Someone looks like they partied.” Connie said before impulsively scratching his head, hazel eyes squinting as he hit the itchy spot. You looked back once more at the girls before your attention was turned to a chipper woman who ambled down the old porch stairs. Your eyes widened as she booked it down the hill at record speed, her arms swinging to keep her balance. Once she reached the bus, she took a few steadying breaths before swinging her arm toward the arch that the bus was parked under. You followed her hand and smiled, the bold letters spelled out- 

“Welcome to Turning Point.” The brunette smirked and straightened up, pushing her bangs out of her face. 

“Hange!” Connie opened his arms and jogged up to her, but the brunette caught him by his forehead, her eyes narrowed at him as she used her other hand to hold him at bay by his shoulder. 

“Hold it right there Shaggy, I know how you operate.” Connie sulked and pushed his bottom lip out and went limp in her grasp. 

“Gotta watch out for this one, he has surprisingly soft hands.” Hange said with a wink and you raised a brow, suddenly as she scanned over the other two girls. 

“But enough about that!” Hange said, suddenly shoving Connie away, he swung his arms as he tried to fight for his balance. You had been so interested in the exchange before you that you almost missed the two nurses jogging up after Hange. 

“Alright ladies, let’s get you all settled!” She said with a softer tone as she stooped to pick up their bags. The two nurses had finally caught up and both offered you smiles. 

“Hi, I’m Moblit, the head nurse here.” The dirty blonde man said, extending his hand to the smallest girl, who flinched at the motion, despite her reluctance he seemed to take it in stride. As Hange marched back up the hill you followed, feeling a bit lost and useless. 

“My name is Nifa.” the other nurse introduced herself as she blew some of her strawberry blonde hair out of her face. 

“I’m (Y/n), I’m the new counselor here.” You said with a slightly forced smile as Nifa nodded as the group of people slowly began migrating up the hill. 

“Excellent! I’ll be showing you ladies around this afternoon!” Hange said enthusiastically as she heaved one of the bags over her shoulder. 

“Hey what about me!” Connie whined as he readjusted his bag and pushed his tangled hair out of his face. 

“He’ll be out soon Connie!” Hange called over her shoulder as she pushed onwards, Nifa excused herself and went to help the other girl who seemed a bit jittery. You tailed the group, Aspen eagerly pulling at the leash, trying to take in all of the new surroundings, you glanced back at the bus one final time. Lavern must have managed to close the doors, because Connie was now banging on the bus door, his palm slapping loudly against the glass as Lavern cackled in the driver’s seat. You smiled and turned forward once more, focusing on keeping Aspen from chasing a small gaggle of geese that was crossing the dirt path in front of you. 

“I’ll have Mike show you the kennels.” Hange shouted over her shoulder, you nodded in understanding, you felt bad for Aspen, but you knew that it would be best for her to sleep in the kennel. 

“Okay thank you.” You said appreciatively as you managed to regain Aspen’s attention, the two of you still trailing behind the group. 

“Hange, Nifa and I can handle getting these two settled in if you would like to show (Y/n) around.” Moblit said with a soft smile as he adjusted his grip on the small girl. 

“Alright, only if you’re sure.” Hange sighed as she set the bags down by the top of the stairs. 

“We’ve got them.” Nifa said reassuringly as the pair continued on into the house while you and Hange remained out on the porch. 

The screen door slammed loudly behind them as they ascended the stairs, where you assumed the rooms were. You could hear a commotion going on somewhere in the house, the sound of pots banging followed by some colorful curse words. 

“Ah our lovely chef Niccolo, you’ll meet him tonight.” Hange informed you as she steered you in the direction of the pole barn to the left of the house. 

“Oh wow, what kind of meals do you guys usually have?” You asked, leaning down to pet Aspen, who was panting loudly. 

“You know, the balanced ones.” Hange said coyly, waving her wrist around dismissively. 

“Oh I almost forgot!” Hange slammed her fist against the door a few times, the flimsy screen door rattling at the impact. 

“Levi! Connie is at the base of the hill waiting for you!” She called into the house. The far off sound of a toilet flushing and then one of the doors that lined the front hallway swung open. A man wearing a bandanna over his mouth and hair emerged, bright yellow gloves covering the majority of his arms. He wore a jean jacket that looked well worn, a cream colored turtleneck  underneath, and a pair of black jeans as well as old brown work boots. He sighed and peeled the gloves off of his hands as he stalked out of the house, pushing past the door he spared you a fleeting glance before shoving his yellow gloves into your chest. Aspen sniffed at his pants leg as he glared at Hange. He pulled the bandannas off of his head to reveal his inky black undercut, which was surprisingly well kept. 

“And you left him unattended?” He growled as you struggled to catch the rubber gloves. 

“He’s fine, look he’s waiting patiently for you!” Hange held her arm out towards where the bus was pulling off towards the pole barn, Connie was giving chase, his long hair flowing behind him as he booked it after the bus. Levi groaned and shot a chilling glare at Hange who shrugged. 

“I’ll be back.” Levi grumbled as he walked down the stairs with a little bit of a hustle in his step. 

“Oh I almost forgot! He’s got a bad case this time!” Hange called after Levi as he marched across the large lawn. Levi turned and glared as he dug into his pocket and pulled out a pair of blue latex gloves which he snapped on over his hands. Hange cackled as she watched him ball his hands into fists and you let the rubber gloves in your hands fall to your sides as you stared after him. You then turned to look at them and frowned, what were you, his mom? You stalked over to one of the small tables that were by the rocking chairs and set them down with a scoff. 

“Right then, back on task!” Hange chirped as she turned to head in the opposite direction that Levi had gone in. Hange led you through the large yard, all the way out to the barn, where she showed you the facilities’s therapy animals, that also doubled as a source of income, the cows were used for milk, goats as well, sheep for wool. It was rather efficient, the space was clean and you could tell that Aspen was already falling in love with the sheep. 

Behind the barn was the chicken coop and the duck pen, both of which were butchered and used for eggs respectively. Hange showed you the storage room where the feed and other tools were kept. 

“But you won’t have to worry too much about the animals, that’s Mike’s job.” Hange explained as she steered you towards the stables. The large building was filled with beautiful horses, which were already fed and watered for the evening. She explained that they were used mostly for the cattle that free roamed the acres that the farm owned. She also assured you that you would get to learn how to corral the cattle, something about: “Erwin made that a team effort.” you had smiled and nodded. Even though you had never ridden a horse in your damn life. 

Next you trekked across to the pole barn, which had a large basketball court, as well as a few rooms for crafts and other group activities. Hange even showed you the living space that was on the upper level. 

“This is where Mike and Nanaba sleep.” She said, showing you the makeshift apartment that they had renovated to fit in the upper level of the barn. 

“Wow, this is so nice.” You complimented as Aspen sniffed at the table leg. 

“Ah she probably smells Buck, Mike’s red heeler.” Hange said with a chuckle, stooping down to scratch Aspen’s back. 

“She loves playing with other dogs.” you assured her as the two of you made your way out of the barn and back towards the house in the fading light. 

“Good, we got plenty of ‘em around here.” Hange huffed and you smiled, excited to meet all of the animals that the facility had to offer. 

“I’ll show you to the kennels and then to your room.” She did just that, helping you settle Aspen into her new home for the next year, where four other dogs were already chowing down on their dinner. A massive man with blonde hair and a scraggly beard was finishing up watering the dogs as the two of you entered. 

“Mike! This is our newbie (Y/n) and her dog Aspen.” Hange introduced you and you nodded politely at him as he grunted and stooped to greet your dog before you, which you only took minorly offensive. 

“Pleased to meet you.” He said in a gruff voice as he rose to his full height once more. 

“Likewise.” You said as you reached down to undo Aspen’s harness and put her away in the spacious kennel that was attached to the barn. Mike assured you that he would feed her for you and waved you and Hange off, mumbling about how you were disturbing his routine. 

Finally you and Hange wandered into the huge house. It had a porch that wrapped around the entire house, a front door and back door. The front door opened up into a hallway that went straight into the living room, which was very homey, on the right there was a bunch of doors that Hange explained were rooms that the staff used to sleep in whenever they had campers who tended to wander during the night. She then led you back towards the front of the house, going left where the dining room was, a series of mismatched tables that were currently being set by a brunette girl, her hands shaking as she worked. You could see how thin she was and your heart ached for her. Hange steered you towards the kitchen, where a blonde man was slaving away over the stove, along with two boys, one brunette and the other a dirty blonde. 

“Jean and Eren are on kitchen duty tonight, helping Niccolo.” Hange explained as you took a moment to watch the boys work. They were doing the dishes, Eren washing while Jean dried. The two of you then continued on with the tour, up the stairs to the second floor. Here was the rooms, none of them had doors, inside each was a simple bed and some minor personal flares. One of the most notable was a picture wall, neatly measured out to be a perfect square. From the distance you could make out at least three distinguishable faces, Eren, as well as two other kids, a girl with black hair and a blonde boy. A sudden crash made both you and Hange go rigid, the two of you marched down the hall to see the girl from earlier, the tallest one in a blinding rage. Nifa was trying her best to help the girl get unpacked but no matter how many times she put the clothes away, the girl just threw them out onto the floor. 

“Give me a moment please.” Hange excused herself as she stalked into the room and began speaking in a hushed tone to the girl who in turn screamed back. 

“I don’t care! I just want to be with her. Why is that so hard to understand!” She wailed before collapsing onto the bed, Hange sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her bicep soothingly. You watched with a worried expression as the girl tried to feebly push Hange off, her hand slapping pathetically against her chest. Hange looked on with a patient expression as she waited for her to calm down. Once the girl had tired herself out Nifa took over, finishing up the cleaning and then thanking Hange who slipped away from the slumped girl. 

“Okay, I think that’s enough for one day don’t you?” Hange sounded tired, as she led you back down the stairs and into one of the staff rooms. 

“Yes I agree.” You said with a slightly forced smile as you dropped your bag onto the bed. Hange reached into her jean pocket and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper. 

“Here’s the weekly schedule. Tonight I have you helping with detox for Connie, it’s gunna be a rough one.” Hange said with a sympathetic smile.

“Normally I wouldn’t give a rookie this responsibility but we’re shorthanded right now so…” 

“It’s fine I can manage.” You smiled and swept some hair out of your face. 

“Yeah and Zeke shouldn’t be in until tomorrow afternoon with the restock for the meds, so we’ll be roughing it tonight, it’ll be all hands on deck.” Hange mumbled with her hand on her chin as she thought. You nodded in understanding and shuffled a bit nervously. 

“But don’t worry, I won’t leave you completely alone, Levi will be with you. I’m sure the two of you will get along just fine.” Hange assured you. 

“Okay well do you want something to eat?” Hange offered with an apologetic smile. 

“Ah actually I think that I’ll handle this better on an empty stomach.” You grimaced and she nodded in understanding. 

“Well then, I better go help out Alice, she’s going to have a rough night.” Hange excused herself and you stared down at the crumpled paper in your hands, the list taking up the entirety of the page. You decided that you didn’t want to get into it at the moment, instead pushing the paper into your back pocket. You marched down the hall towards the basement door, where Hange had told you the detox room was. Basically it was a room with a toilet, shower, and a small cot. Once you reached the foot of the stairs you heard the gags, and the sound of heavy breathing. 

“-That’s it.” Levi’s baritone voice seemed to echo off of the empty basements walls from the crack in the door of the detox room. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Connie moaned and you heard Levi chuckle darkly. 

“I’m just trying to help you.” Levi said, voice surprisingly soft. 

“Yeah like you haven’t done enough already, cut my damn dreads, scrubbed me raw, threw out my shoes and took away my phone!” Connie sounded like he wasn’t too upset, which you admired briefly before you heard the sound of him purging again. 

“You know the rules, besides I couldn’t let you walk around looking like a hot mess.” You could hear the sound of a hand patting someone’s back and you assumed Levi was soothing Connie. You approached the door and rapped on the frame gently. 

“Who is it?” Levi’s voice seemed to harden with each syllable and you winced. 

“It’s me, Hange sent me to help you guys out.” You said, even though to you it seemed that Levi had things covered. 

“Come on in.” He welcomed and pushed inside the room, it was painted a soothing grey, with an open shower and toilet as well as a sink but no mirror. The bed was pressed against the corner and had only a thin blanket and a limp pillow. Levi and Connie were both crouched by the toilet, your eyes widened at Connie’s fresh haircut. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he said that Levi had cut off his dreads. Connie now had a buzzcut, his peach fuzz exposed the skin on his scalp and on the back of his neck, which was littered with tiny red bites. You realized that it must have been lice, and you frowned but went to crouch on his other side. 

“Hey man.” You greeted with a weak smile. 

“Hey sexy.” Connie rested his cheek on his forearm as he turned his head to greet you. Levi scoffed and stood up to wet a washcloth. 

“How’re you feeling?” You asked, reaching behind him to run your fingertips gently over his scapula, he shivered and smiled a watery smile at you, sniffling slightly before composing himself. 

“Like fucking shit.” He laughed, but it held little to no humor. 

“I’m sure.” You sympathized and continued rubbing his back as he turned to look back into the bowl of the toilet as he dry heaved. Levi came back with the warm washcloth and draped it over the back of Connie’s neck and the boy shivered at the sensation. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt Levi rest a heavy hand on your shoulder. 

“Hope you aren’t wearing anything too nice.” He said a bit wryly before releasing you and returning to his place next to Connie. 

[nyancatkuroo]

Smoke Sesh Blues Pt.1

Pt.1 Terushima/Kunimi/Kenma x Reader ll Weed 

Pt.2 Saeko x Reader ll Molly + Alcohol 

INTOXICATED a  Miki Mouse Whorehouse collab.    

A/N: Here is my second collab fic for the whorehouse and I couldn’t be more excited! This is a Dark Content fic, so 18+ please dot not interact or you will be blocked.  (This one doesn’t have any NSFW in it but it doesn’t mean I want a bunch of minors interacting with my content).

TW: mentions of alcohol, weed smoking, mentions of shrooms.

WC: 1.5k

Sitting across the room was the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen, well, beautiful might not be the best word to describe her.  Ethereal, and transcendent might’ve been the words you’d use to describe a really, really attractive woman, but Tanaka Saeko was not just any attractive woman.  

Where beautiful meets savagely charismatic, ethereal simply wasn’t enough to describe the sheer magnetism that the young blond woman exuded, simply sitting there, grinning from ear to ear.  Her sharp, dark eyes and toothy grin hit you straight in the guts, and that’s when you fell, hard and fast, and painfully.  

Next to the blonde was a young woman equally as attractive as Saeko herself, and if Saeko wasn’t the definition of ethereal, the raven-haired girl sure was.  With a pale and delicate face that screamed of poise and grace, a criminally sexy mole on the left side of her chin, and blue eyes that made a chill of pleasure run down your spine, Shimizu Kiyoko was the epitome of everything you weren’t.  

Saeko had her right arm around the younger girl, hugging her close, as if afraid she’d run off.  “I’d take precautions too, if that was me,” you thought.  Kiyoko was one of the smartest and prettiest girls in campus after all, and despite not knowing her personally, having talked to her only once or twice because of mutual classes, it wasn’t hard to understand why she was one of the most sought after girls. 

Well, that and the very amusing reputation preceding her since she entered university two years ago.  The thing was, the dark-haired girl wasn’t Saeko’s girlfriend, but she was definitely intertwined with a Tanaka. Saeko’s younger brother to be exact, Tanaka Ryuunosuke.  

The two were rumored to have been going out since Kiyoko’s high school graduation.  Despite having let it be known pretty early on in her academic life that she had a boyfriend, with a younger partner still in high school, all the hungry frat boys up for a challenge and every business major in a radius mile who thought she “deserved better”, apparently made it their mission to woo her.  It made for pretty good entertaining drama to watch, but your heart went out for her. 

Based on what Saeko told you, keeping you updated on the family drama, the first year was really rough on the young couple.  With her younger brother finally on campus this year, though, overcoming all the annoying dudes was easier done a job at two.  Especially with a barking protective idiot and Kiyoko’s punching one-liners, which you wouldn’t expect coming from someone so calm and collected.  Perhaps it wasn’t that surprising, apparently, from what you’d heard from Saeko, Kiyoko’s comedic timing was unmatched.

And okay, you obviously knew Saeko, and if Kiyoko wasn’t her girlfriend, what was the big fuss all about?  Jealousy, simple as that. It was 10 pm on a Friday night, which meant parties around campus were raging from one hard to get in-club to home parties and make-shift park dancefloors. Fridays were made for debauchery and every single student who didn’t work a night shift was accounted for, every student except one, Ryu.  

Saeko’s younger brother, a baldy with a lively personality, was running late because of his group of friends.  Something about “Noya wrecking havoc once again” and “the trio trying to fix things, again”.  You didn’t know what the issue was but it was a problem for you because that meant that Saeko had to act as guard dog for the younger girl, which meant less time spent making you feel all sorts of sinful little pleasures.  

Saeko wasn’t your girlfriend either, which is why you didn’t have that close connection to Kiyoko.   You guys were simply friends with benefits, lots and lots of benefits that included midday brunches, and late-night movie and make-out seshs, but still, only friends with the hall pass.  

You were making eyes at the blond, desperately trying to make her notice you, amongst the hordes of horny 20-somethings year old guys trying to get at Kiyoko, but without luck. Tired of waiting and wanting to actually start enjoying yourself, you decided to go explore the rest of the house the party you currently were in was hosted. Leaving the living room, you ventured into a surprisingly big kitchen where you spotted Terushima Yuuji running his little side hustle. With a hum and an easy smile plastered on your face, you made your way towards the young man.  

You knew Terushima from years ago. When you and your friend Issei started venturing into the wondrous world of drugs and alcohol, he mentioned how he knew this guy from a rival volleyball team who was supposedly the best plug in the area, which Terushima was.  The shrooms you bought off of him never disappointed and the weed he provided really was that good fucking kush. Tonight though, you felt needy and wanted to let loose, so molly it was.  

You put your hand on Terushima’s shoulder, making him aware of your presence, and he turned around, a slight frown on his face before he recognized you and greeted you with the sickest bro shoulder-bump-hand combo. You loved this dude so damn much. 

“So, what’s it gonna be this time my little pogchamp?”

With a grimace you pushed the young man’s face with your hand and laughed.

“You’ve got to stop watching your Tiktoks on Instagram, you’re like two months late to that trend my guy.”

“Ain’t no problem, when a king does right by his subjects the peasants don’t have a choice but to laugh along”, he grinned.

At that, you bursted out laughing, holding your belly because of how ridiculously funny that statement was. “Out of pocket, Teru, out of fucking pocket.”

With a whatever, and a roll of his eyes, Terushima asked what you wanted and gave you a few little pills that fit just right inside your jean pocket.  

“You know you’re the best.” Sending finger guns his way, you were about to leave, on a quest to find another interesting adventure, when Terushima called your name.

“Hey if you wait a couple minutes until I’m done here we can go smoke a few. Kunimi just bought this new bong and it’s pretty fucking sick, you’ll love it.”

With nothing better to do, you agreed and after a while, Terushima was done and the both of you left the kitchen and made your way to the second-floor, towards Kunimi’s room. When you arrived, the door to the room was closed but you could see the smoke filtering out of the red lit room, the people around too busy in their own affairs, or simply not caring enough, to notice the very obvious hot-box going on behind the closed room.  

When you got in, Doja Cat’s Kiss Me More was playing on loop, and you unsurprisingly found Kunimi and Kenma sharing the bong. The pair could outsmoke you any day, but you genuinely enjoyed their company.  

There was no one better than those two to have a chill yet feel-good smoke sesh with, cuddles and an infinite supply of munchies present every time. You sat next to Kenma and he immefiatley started nuzzling you, passing you the bong.  On the back, you could hear Kunimi telling Terushima he was being too loud and that he’d kick him out if his voice reached higher levels than Toad’s. Terushima was right, paired with the right weed, this bong was way too powerful and it only took you a couple of hits to start feeling.  

You laid down, Kenma still close to you, and started singing along, while playing with Kenma’s hair.  Yeah, this was definitely your definition of a good time, but despite how good you were feeling, and how warm the little guy you were cuddling with felt, you thought something was missing.  The pills in your pocket started feeling heavier, unease growing  inside of you.  Lost in your worry, you apparently started petting Kenma too roughly, if the kick in the knee he gave you was anything to go by.

“Sorry”, you mumbled, only to receive a small groan for an answer.  

You don’t know how long you stayed like that, cozied up on the floor with your friends, listening to Doja’s newest collab, but the moment was disturbed when a foreign source of light appeared.  Someone had opened the door and when you saw who it was, your heart nearly skipped a beat.  Fucking feelings.

With a gentle smile on her face, Saeko was looking at you with what, for a split second, you thought was fondness, but a moment later her eyes went back to their usual playful glee, and her toothy grin returned.  

“Ryu got here like an hour ago, I’ve been looking for you, but I see you don’t really need me to have a good time, hm?”

By that point, you felt more sleepy than high, but seeing the woman occupying your every thoughts appear out of nowhere, with what looked like heavenly light all around her, which was just some crusty hallway lighting, woke you up faster than you cared to admit. You kissed Kenma on the cheek, patted Kunimi on the head, and slapped Terushima on the shoulder as a goodbye, and before they could complain about the disturbance, you were out of the door.

[parental-unit-of-chaos]

Dear Trans-masc individuals,

(Trigger warning abuse, sexual assult and suidical thoughts)

Here is some advice from something who has been trans snice middle school and is now 18, and a senior in high school.

Here is my story..

Never let someone tell you who you are, what you like, or who you are attracted too.

I grew up in an abusive household with my grandparents, I had to be the perfect Christian girl for them, i had to clean the moldy food from the fridge, sometimes eat it. i spelt on a mattress on a floor with dog, cat, and mouse piss stains on it, sometimes it would be fresh. i had to do laundry, take of the pets. i did all of this, at 4 to 10 years old, and more. I would be called worthless, useless, stupid, due to my stutter and having undiagnosed autism.

Along with this abusive behavior i would think about cutting off the growing fat on my body, that was making me more femmine looking. Oh how i wished i looked like my male cusions, i wanted to just a dagger to my body and cut it up.

i got tired of it, i was tired of being used, abused... i ran way at 10 years old i ran away from home when i went back to my parents' house from my vacation at my grandparents. i didn't want to go back.

they took me to a mental hospital, i was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, but the people knew that my grandparents was a trigger. During the mental hospital, i got to relax for a while, clear my head. I reevaluated my life.

after i got out of the mental hospital, i stayed with my parents all the time, and went to middle school for my 8th grade year. I thought a lot about who i was as a person, i got a tablet connected to the internet and i found what being trans was. i finally had words to describe the overwhelming feeling of dread being in my FAB body. i got into smoking weed and drinking alcohol. i also dated a lot of girls.

then we moved to a different state after finishing my 8th grade year.

Arizona was really hot at first and i felt like i was dying due to dry heat when i was use to breathing 70% humidity. during my freshman year of high school i tried being more femmine, trying to deye me being trans due to the hate for trans people and the lack of positive media. i started feeling suicidal again. during my freshman year i met a guy named Brian, he was junior. he needed up sexual assaulting during the first date i ever went on. We broke up.

i got into witchcraft when i was 10, but by this time i was working on shadow work mostly. until, i felt a different presence in my room during my shadow work. A firey bold presence, at this time i did not work with any deity. It was as i know now, Hel, i started being drawn to Norse mythology, and i really related to loki's stories. i started to do research and started to work with him. i was loner after my break up because all my friends took brian's side.

i sat alone again, and one time i sat down at one of my lunch spots and found a boy. His name was DJ and he was a sophomore, we started to talk every lunch, and then i gave him my phone number.

after a couple of months and at the end of my freshmen year i told DJ that i liked him, he said he wasn't looking for a relationship at that moment because he came out of an abusive one. I said, "okay, i'll wait until you are." because i Truely fell in love with him. a couple weeks of still talking and he said he liked me back and asked me out.

We started dating March 20th, 2019.

about a year into our relationship, i couldn't take anymore, i knew i wanted to be a boy, but i didn't feel like a boy all of the time, But i hated being called She/Her. i talked to DJ about it and he had a panic attack. because his abusive Ex started to be abusive once he (the ex) started to transition. We kept talking about off and on and worked through it. He talked about labels he knew about the emotions i explained to him. He was supportive and didn't mind the change because he is pansexual. for a while i went by genderfluid, but after a while figured out Demi-boy was for me. i went by He/They/ and them some neopronouns.

now: i have been a trans macs person, who is in a gay relationship, been practicing witchcraft for 8 years almost 9. and woroking with my patron loki for 7 almost 8.

me and DJ are now enagged and working on getting the wedding in order, and i am finally me.

[etherrealoblivion]

A Joint Effort

Prompt: I just thought of this for some reason, but imagine everyone in the bau all high as fuck, in one room together.

Words: 1,905

A/N: for the bad b*tches in my MGG group chat. Love y’all.

Content Warning!!!!: Drugs (weed)

MASTERLIST

~

It had started out a regular Friday evening. Well, as regular as a Friday evening could be for the sorry few that worked in the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI.

After a particularly draining case, the team decided a night out would be the best way to unwind. More precisely, Morgan decided and convinced the others with much help from Garcia.

So that’s how a mother, a genius, a spy, a hacker, a playboy, a boss, and a millionaire all ended up stumbling home, drunk off their asses down the empty streets of D.C.

Sadly, J.J, who had been the designated driver, didn’t get the memo until after her fourth drink. Garcia, the messenger, was a little late on delivering it. By then, everyone else was already wasted so Hotch figured it was time to go home. Or, actually, to crash at Rossi’s place. He was nearby and had enough bedrooms for everyone to rest peacefully, although the team had a slight notion that the party wasn’t quite over.

This thought was confirmed quite quickly for as everyone plopped down amongst the plethora of cozy chairs in Rossi’s living room, Morgan found the millionaires liquor cabinet, shamelessly helping himself to the array of drinks there.

However, before he could indulge too far, a small wooden box caught his eye as he was about to select a fifty-year scotch.

Alcohol didn’t seem to affect his profiling skills as he deduced what was in the box as if there was a note written on it.

Smirking, Morgan wondered whether or not his team members would. Rossi would, for sure. Garcia, definitely probably. Hotch? Reid? Hmm.

“Hey, Rossi,” Morgan said, putting on a voice of drunken interest, “what’s this box, here?”

Rossi’s head snapped to where he was standing, confirming his suspicions. Before he could speak, Reid piped up, stammering slightly.

“That’s an 1870’s oakwood Captain James box. Collectors quality. Only four hundred were made.”

“Isn’t that a lot?” Garcia asked, taking off her heels.

“Yes, for the era. But three hundred and seventeen were lost to the ocean on the shipwreck of the Casterberous. Interestingly enough--”

“Actually,” Morgan butted in, slowly opening the box and smiling as he saw what was in it, “What I was more interested in was what was in the box.”

Rossi, always composed, shrugged and stood walking towards morgan.

“What can I say? In our line of work, one tends to need to . . . destress every now and again.”

Hotch snorted, finally realizing what the mystery box contained. Dave had told him of his habit, but Hotch never really given it much thought. Everyone had their vices.

“What’s in it?” Prentiss said, trying to steal a glimpse.

“Wait . . .” Garcia paused for a moment, shot Morgan a look to which he smirked knowingly, then burst into laughter, clutching her sides and rolling back on the couch.

J.J looked from Garcia to Rossi, the latter standing with his hands in his pockets, looking sheepish. She quickly put two and two together.

“Oh my god!”

“What?” Reid was still confused. “What, what is it? What have I missed?”

Morgan raised his eyebrows at Rossi questioningly to which the older man nodded softly. So Morgan placed the box, lid open, on the coffee table. So that everyone could see the set of pre-rolled cigarettes laying on purple satin within.

Prentiss smiled.

“Well, well, well. David Rossi, do my eyes deceive me, or is that Acapulco gold?”

Everyone but Reid laughed, who was looking at the cigarette curiously.

“I don’t understand. Cigarettes? Prentiss used to smoke, I don’t see the big deal.”

J.J. pat his head.

“You’ll learn, Spence. You’ll learn. May I?” she directed the last part to Rossi, gesturing toward the box.

He waved a hand.

“Be my guest. As long as no one is uncomfortable?” he phrased it as a question.

Murmurs of assent filled the room, everyone but Reid and Hotch reaching for one of the neatly rolled cigarettes in the box and Rossi going to fetch his lighter and put on a quiet record for background noise.

“J.J? You don’t smoke tobacco?”

Morgan laughed. Pretty boy was a genius at most things. This not being one of them.

“Spence,” J.J. took the lighter from Rossi and lit her cigarette, a pungent smell quickly filling the room, “it’s not tobacco.”

A look of comprehension finally found its way onto Reid’s face, causing everyone looking at him to shake with laughter.

“Oh.”

Morgan slapped him on the back, handing him a lit joint. “‘Oh’ is right. Now listen, no peer pressure, Pretty Boy. You get uncomfortable, stand up, and go to bed, no judgment. But, if you wanna chill out for a while, get that genius mind to calm down, take a puff of this.” And Morgan brought his joint to his lips, steadily taking a drag and blowing it out with practiced expertise.

A moment of hesitation was all Spencer needed, quickly reassured by the ease with which his friends and colleagues began to smoke. Then, he brought the joint to his mouth and took a deep breath.

As expected, he coughed immediately, a horrible hacking noise as blue-ish smoke expelled from his mouth and nose.

His friends started to giggle, already feeling the high hit them.

Hotch finally decided to join in after a few minutes of watching everyone enjoy themselves. Reid recovered surprisingly quickly, barely coughing the second and third times and not at all by the fourth.

It suddenly occurred to everyone that they’d all been silent the whole time. Garcia, of course, was the first to rectify this.

“Okay, when was the last time everybody got high? Go.” She pointed to her left where J.J sat sprawled out against her.

“Um. Oh god. Three months before I found out I was pregnant with Henry. Although I’m not sure you’d count that as ‘high’. It was one hit from a bong at this party I went to.”

“A party?!” Prentiss said, surprised. “When? Where?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes!” everyone exclaimed.

“Okay! Jeez. It was when we had that weekend off after the Garner case. I went down to New Orleans to see Will and . . . one thing led to another.”

“Is that why you kept texting me asking for pictures of my cat?” Garcia giggled, absentmindedly petting J.J’s hair.

“Yeah. . . I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a robot. Don’t ask.”

After a bit of laughter, everyone recovered and it was Hotch’s turn next.

“Four years ago. After the Nieman case in Tampa. Haley was the one who suggested it. It did help me relax, but the taste is something I couldn’t stand.”

Everyone nodded slightly, accepting this answer as valid.

Rossi shrugged, gesturing to the now empty box. Clearly he had smoked recently, probably within the month so the question passed to Morgan.

“I’m gonna be honest. I . . . partake whenever we have free time.”

“So. . . ?” J.J asked.

Morgan sighed.

“Last weekend.”

Wow. Garcia started to laugh which caused a domino effect on the rest of the team. Reid was finally relaxing into the feeling, laughing along with his friends.

“Y’all think that’s real funny, huh?” Morgan said, unable to stop the smile forming on his face.

“Yep,” Reid said through another puff, suppressing a cough. “Only because it makes so much sense.”

“Oh yeah?” Morgan got a mischievous look in his eye. “Okay, Prentiss. Your turn.”

Emily, who had been laughing heartily, suddenly froze, looking nervously around the room.

“I, er, I don’t recall.”

Morgan chuckled.

“Well then, allow me to refresh your memory. Last weekend I’m minding my own business when I get a call from Emily here. She’s going off about how expensive movie tickets are and how it’s cheaper to buy back-alley weed. I tell her not to worry, I’ve got my hands on the good stuff right here. Needless to say, within the hour we were both high off our asses.”

Prentiss had turned bright pink, taking a sip from a water bottle she’d withdrawn from her purse. Looking back, she should have known better than to hide her face from a group of seasoned profilers.

“Oh, damn, Emily!” Garcia bounced on the couch, shaking J.J who groaned. “Why didn’t you tell me! You know I am always one phone call and thirty-five minutes away.”

Emily glanced at Derek, smirking. “That’s the problem, Pen. Sometimes you can be a little . . . much.”

Garcia gasped softly, “Emilia, you offend me. I’m offended. I’m chill! I’m a chill person,” she added, a little shrilly, sending the group into yet another fit of laughter.

“What? Look at me now! I’m relaxing on the couch, totally at peace.”

In her defense, she was. Absentmindedly braiding J.J’s hair and working out the knots in it. One sharp pull made J.J wince.

“Ow! Yeah, ‘at peace’ my ass.”    

“Shush! Reid, go.”

Spencer opened his mouth but Morgan spoke first.

“Aw, come on, Baby Girl. You saw how Pretty Boy here coughed. He hasn’t touched a drug in his life.”

“I-”

“Oh, come on. People don’t only cough when they’ve never smoked before. Besides, he went to Caltech AND got a doctorate at MIT. Those Ivy Leagues have the most toked up students anyway.”

“Well, I-”

“Nah,” Morgan interrupted. “Pretty Boy’s been sober his whole life.”

“Actually . . .”

Morgan’s head snapped to Reid, as quick as he could under the influence. Which, in retrospect was not all that quick.

“Kid. You’re telling me you’ve done this before?”

Reid went even pinker than Emily had.

“Not, uh. Not exactly. I’ve certainly never smoked a joint with anyone. But, well. That wasn’t the question.”

“What was the question?” Garcia asked.

“You’re the one who asked it!”

She simply shrugged, reapplying her lipstick smoothly. The high was slowly wearing off everyone.

“You asked when the last time everyone got high was,” Reid explained, his hands gesticulating wildly. “While I have never smoked - really no one should, the things it does to your lungs - I have ingested marijuana before.”

“What!?” Morgan and Garcia exclaimed, prompting an even louder Shh from Rossi. Hotch was smirking softly, lighting several candelabras around the room, attempting to clear the air of the stench.

“What?” Reid asked, annoyed at their shock. “I might be nerdy but I’m not a prude.”

Prentiss laughed and remarked to J.J, “Next thing he’s gonna be telling us he’s not a virgin.”

“Actual-”

“Stop, right there, kid,” Morgan butted in, settling down on the couch for the night. “That’s not the kinda thing I wanna hear about right now.”

“But you were curious about me getting high before!”

“Yeah, that’s your business.”

Prentiss butted in, “Besides, we should just focus on the now. It seems while we’ve all partook before, but never together like this. This time it’s a… a…”

“A joint effort,” Reid said, glancing around the room with a playful smile.

A collective groan followed his quip and several pillows were thrown his way.

“You’re lucky I’m barely stoned,” Garcia said. “I’d come over there and give you a proper pillow fight.”

Rossi leaned forward over the old box.

“Ladies, gents,” he lifted the purple satin lining revealing several more pre-rolled marijuana cigarettes, “the night is still young.”

And so, the FBI profilers hotboxed David Rossi’s living room, laughing about nonsense and learning much more than they’d wanted to about Spencer Reid’s sexual history

[illdesigns]

(Metalrat) first confession of feelings for either Magnus x Charles or Pickles x Magnus? :)

Raindrops spattered against the windows and roof of the apartment, fat and heavy, trees outside bending and shivering in the wind. The rain cooled the hot outside air, the wind kept the humidity at bay, things were...not bad, if you were inside. The sun was probably trying to set for the night, or starting to, and the grey sky grew darker and darker. The fan was running at a lazy pace to circulate air, the window by the front door opened a crack to let in the fresh air and smell of rain, even as it left moisture in the windowsill.

Pickles was glued to the sofa. Glued by the sweat on his back to the fabric, glued by the alcohol that choked his legs, glued by the fat tabby that was on his chest. She was a stray, Magnus had said, one that he had started to feed. She was fat for a stray, but Magnus had explained other people had to have been feeding her too. They were both sheltered in the rain by Magnus’ apartment. Pickles’ roommates had gotten into an ugly fight with him and so he just...started walking. Now he was on the sofa in a shirt and shorts that were far, far too large on him as his own sopping wet clothes were folded over the side of Magnus’ tub to dry.

The door opened, whipped wind through the apartment, made Pickles crack his eyes and the tabby jolt. Magnus had an armful of brown paper bags soaked through by rain. His hair was weighed down by water against his shoulders and face, droplets hanging from his nose, his arms, his chin.

“I got beer,” he announced. “And, uh, some food. Fridge was a bit bare.”

Pickles had noticed but not complained. Especially now as Magnus sat the bags on the coffee table and began to unpack the groceries. Chips, the previously mentioned food, ham for sandwiches for just Pickles and cans of tuna to name a few. Magnus cracked one of the tuna cans and placed it on the floor, the cat sitting up on Pickles’ chest and stretching with a wide yawn before jumping down to eat. She had a bowl with food in it, Pickles noted, but seemed to be getting as much people food from Magnus as her heart desired. No wonder she was so fucking fat.

“Cousins of yours?” Magnus asked as he held up a jar of pickles, making Pickles (the person) snort. “I’ll make us some food. Pick, like, a record or something. I know nothing’ll come through on the TV.”

Pickles obeyed as he sat up and leafed through one of the many boxes of records strewn across the living room. Magnus had a decent collection - stuff they both grew up listening to, more modern acts, some bands that Pickles didn’t even notice. There was even a Snakes ‘n’ Barrels album, but it was dusty with disuse and Pickles didn’t want to dredge that up tonight. Or ever.

“And I have some dessert, too,” Magnus said as he shimmied next to Pickles on the sofa, set two paper plates with food down and opened up a drawer on the coffee table. A decent stash gazed back up at them expectantly. Pickles made a soft ‘ooh’ of recognition. “Dude, sit up.”

“I’m sittin’,” he replied with a thick mouthful of food.

The day crept onward slow and certain. The rain continued unabated, the cat circled ankles hoping for more food and beers were consumed until five cans sat on the coffee table with the paper plates. Pickles was ahead of Magnus in the alcohol department (half of why that ugly fight turned so ugly) and continued that without a thought as his houseguest. Especially when Magnus busted out the weed. It was good shit. It had an acrid but floral sort of quality to it, almost sweet in how skunky it was, and Pickles’ drunk brain honed in on how it was so sticky it clung to Magnus’ fingers as he broke it apart.

“I like you, man,” slipped from his lips as he passed the joint to Magnus. Like an involuntary motion, as if moving his arm somehow set off his vocal chords.

“Thanks,” Magnus replied as he took it. Pickles watched a pink tongue dart out to wet dry lips and while some kind of attempt at dirty thoughts tried to dart into his brain in the moment, in a bit he would be very mad at the wet joint he got back. Magnus’ voice was thicker and deeper as he spoke, streams of smoke dribbling from his lips. “I think you’re really cool.”

“Thanks,” Pickles echoed numbly. His brain argued with him, he was already here, being that stupid. He might as well keep it up. “But, like, I…”

What did he say in fucking junior high? “Like-like?”

“I really like you. You’re a cool guy,” Pickles swallowed. “And, like...I dunno. You’re real cool. Hot, too, and I dunno I just really-”

Magnus cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. It seemed like it was taking him a moment to absorb that thought.

“What did you say?” he asked with a scoff. “Fuckin’...repeat yourself, man.”

“If you want me to go, I can go-” Pickles began. A panic bubbled in his chest. He had miscalculated. Misheard certain rumors. They were just that - rumors. He hadn’t heard it from the man himself and if Magnus wasn’t like that, he had a hair trigger temper. And Pickles just-

“No, no. Stay. What, dude? God, calm down,” Magnus pat his knee and Pickles jumped. “Relax, Jesus! What did you say?”

“I said you were hot but...it’s nothin’,” Pickles flinched when Magnus laughed. “God, don’t laugh at me before you fuckin’ beat my face in, dude.”

Magnus stared. Took a sip of beer and shook his head.

“I get fucked in the ass too much to gay bash people, man,” he said casually and Pickles’ laugh sounded more like a yip from a small dog that accidentally got stepped on. “You’re just...God. Okay. Okay, sure, dude, thanks. I like you too, is that what you wanna hear?”

Well, yes? That was absolutely what Pickles wanted to hear. With the rain still pit-patting on the windows and roof, with the record playing, with the air that smelled like rain and wasn’t cold and wasn’t hot. It was like...a storybook. Yeah. A movie, maybe. Pickles had showed up wet, cold and in the rain. Magnus had swooped him inside. Feelings were confessed. It was just missing a kiss. So, Pickles leaned in for that Hollywood movie magic kiss.

And had Magnus gently place his hand over his mouth.

“You’re so fucked up right now,” Magnus said softly. “No, dude.”

Pickles hung his head and nodded sullenly. The cat was gone. He’d really like to pet a cat at that moment, but she was gone, probably curled up asleep somewhere. That was ideal. He hadn’t realized just how far the sun had set, and how late it was, and as he stood to use the bathroom the day’s substance abuse hit him. The food barely soaked any of it up and there was a blur as he stood. He was walking down the hallway, naturally, but he was supported. And he looked up to see Magnus looking down at him.

“Told you, you’re fucked up,” there was still a matter-of-fact tone to the slur in Magnus’ voice. Even as he gently pushed him into the bathroom, waited a moment for Pickles to finish and drug him back into the hall again. “C’mon. Bedtime.”

“It’s eight…” Pickles offered tiredly.

“It’s like, eleven, man,” Magnus replied as he let Pickles gently fall onto his bed. “Don’t get wise with me tonight, either...we-we’ll talk...morning. In the morning.”

Pickles nodded sleepily and bundled himself in the bed. Magnus collapsed next to him. He blinked, the bed weaved and wobbled like he was at sea and Pickles swallowed down a hiccup and wave of nausea. But he was tired. So tired. And the bed was warm. So warm. And he eventually closed his eyes and fell asleep.

“Did you piss in my bed, man?” Magnus asked blearily, jerking Pickles from his sleep. The clock on the bedside table said it was three in the morning. Magnus turned on the light. “Oh, fuckin’ shit. God, no, fuck-”

Pickles sat up and pried his eyes open. There was a strange wetness to the sheets, an odd warmth, but it was focused more towards his legs, not his crotch. Not even where Magnus’ crotch was. Then his vision focused. Using their legs as the walls of a makeshift next, the stray sat. And licked something.

“You fuckin’ hooker,” Magnus groaned as he rubbed his face. “This is not...a home for...for unwed mothers...goddammit-”

The stray was licking many somethings. Four somethings, really, all wiggling little writhing balls of kitten. She wasn’t fat. Just very pregnant. Pickles laughed as Magnus stood up, reaching for one of his record boxes that had somehow migrated to his bedroom and moving the vinyls onto his dresser.

“You’re a grandpa, man,” Pickles chuckled stupidly. “She must like you, to sit and have her-her babies on you...you’re special.”

Magnus grumbled about having to wash his sheets. But despite that, he still grabbed a few old shirts from his closet and shoved them into the box. And approached the bed. The tabby blinked up at him, looked slightly offended when he reached a hand near her stomach.

“Hey, mama. Let me have these for a second. Made you somewhere more comfy to sleep for a bit, okay? Until I can get something better,” Magnus spoke in that same tone, Pickles heard it. The tone that he had used when he told PIckles he was too drunk to kiss. Soft and caring, something that felt special and secret and rare from Magnus. “Lemme borrow the babies.”

Pickles heard purring. She really did like him. The kittens mewled in offense as they were removed from their mother and their dinner, but it was quieted when the box was set on the floor and she crawled inside with them. Magnus grumbled and peeled the afterbirth covered sheets away from the bed. Pickles just lay there for a moment.

“Magnus?” he finally said.

“What, Pickles?” asked Magnus.

“This is why I like you.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #443

“it’s not a life sentence, but a death dream for you”

When was the last time you were in the hospital? Me personally, uhhh sometime in 2017? Why were you there? I had a cyst removal surgery. Do you like Cheez-Its or Cheese Nips better? Cheez-Its. Have you worn headphones at all today? Yeah, I pretty much always do because YouTube is always open and on a video. When was the last time you had blood drawn? A few months ago or something? I'll be getting some drawn shortly though for genetic testing; due to my mom having some dysfunctional cancer prevention gene, all her children are getting tests to see if we inherited it. The last time you got blood drawn, what was the reason? I want to say I was tested for anemia most recently. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? Things I wish I didn't daydream about. What is your relation to the last child you spoke to? They're my niece and nephew. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No fucking shit? Do you prefer zebra stripes, tiger stripes, or leopard spots? Tiger stripes, ig. When did you last see a dog? At my nephew's b-day party a couple weeks ago. Nicole brought her dog Zeke over. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? No, but omg I wish!!!!!!!!!! Do you know anyone from Canada? Yep. Has a cat ever licked you? Yeah. Roman especially loves to give kisses. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? The Wizard of Oz park, probs. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit's rad. o: Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? No, that sketches me out. I'd be afraid of the ice breaking and me falling in. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever met an Alaskan? Met in-person, no. But I do have an online friend who's from Alaska. Or may still live there? Idk. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. Have any unpleasant public transit stories to tell? Nah. Do you know any German words? Seeing as I took four semesters of the language in high school, I know a good deal. However, my skill has definitely atrophied with time and lack of application. Do you have a passport? No. Are your teeth straight? I mean, mostly. I had braces for too long, but I didn't wear my retainer, so they've moved back some. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? Yeah, sure. I've never understood why height is an issue for some people. Can you quote the movie Mean Girls? No. I personally never got the craze. Have you ever swam in the Atlantic Ocean? I have. The Pacific? No. Can you make yourself cry? No. Have you ever held a starfish? Not a live one. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? Faint or vomit. Wail. All three. Are you very close to your siblings? No. :/ Can you do CPR? No. Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics? I don't care. Ever flushed a fish? Yes. Ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor? No. I wouldn't agree to that. Last friend you talked to online? Sara. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No. What is the best ice cream flavor? Vanilla. You have so many topping options. What’s your favorite thing to do outside? Photograph nature, especially wild animals. What would you spend $1,000 on? A big, really pro tattoo. What was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? Hm. I don't know. Who did you last lay in a bed/couch/recliner with? Mom and I sat together on the couch some time ago. Do you keep a planner? No. What are you craving right now? I've got a seriously random craving for shell pasta with a nice, meaty tomato sauce. Do you want kids anytime soon? DEFINITELY not soon, but also never. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing you're in love and really feeling it. What’s something you really want right now, be honest. There's a lot of things. Who in your family do you act like the most? I don't know, really. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom, 100%. Do you believe that your first true love can be your only love in life? Of course not. Have you ever kissed under water? Yes. Is there that one guy that you’ll always have feelings for no matter what? Suuuure is. Wish it wasn't like that, but I don't see it ever changing, to be real... Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? 100%? No, I can't say I am entirely. Have your parents ever caught you kissing a guy? "Caught me?" How old is this question meant for? Yes, they've seen me kiss a guy before. If you mean like, seriously kiss-kissing, no. Which one of your exes hates you the most? Probably Jason. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, my middle name has been passed down, but "Brittany" wasn't from anybody else in specific. What reminds you the most of your last relationship? The song "The Only Exception" by Paramore. Have you ever rejected someone but they still wouldn’t give up on you? In elementary school, yes. When growing up, did your family always eat at the dinner table together? Usually, yes, at least when growing up. Sometimes we'd use little tables to eat in the living room though while watching TV. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? My mom, best friend, and pets. What was the last charity/cause you donated to? I'm unsure, actually. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara! :') Did your parents read bedtime stories to you when you were little? Mom did. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. The greatest fear I've ever had was losing Jason, and that happened. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, for one. My older half-sister has also be divorced because her ex is an absolute piece of manipulative horse shit. Has anyone in your family gotten pregnant as a teenager? I think my mom? No, maybe not... Idk. I ain't doing the math. What’s your greatest talent? If you want a serious answer and not something self-depracating, I suppose writing. Would you ever want to get a master’s degree? It'd be cool, but I've never *actually* wanted to pursue that. Have you ever worn revealing clothing in order to get attention? No. Have you ever been falsely accused of being racist? I've never been accused of being racist, because I'm not. To you, is sex just about physical pleasure, or do you see it as an expression of love and commitment? Absolutely the latter. I could never engage in sex without deep emotional commitment. How many times have you been drunk in the past 6 months? Zero. What’s your favorite French food? I have no idea. What’s the most elaborate recipe you know how to cook? Nothing. Which rooms of your house have doors that lead outside? The living room and kitchen. Best purchase you ever made? My snake. :') Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? I haven't seen him a long time, but boy did I have a thing for James Hetfield in high school. There are defs others, but no one else immediately comes to mind. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? No, because I've never tried to. How many Facebooks have you had? Just the one I still use. Have you ever been punched in the face? No. When was the last time you talked to the first person you kissed? The beginning of February, 2017. What is the latest you have ever slept in? Past 5. Do you have to watch yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth? No. Do you text when you drive? Fuck no. You couldn't pay me to. What movie do you really want to see that’s out? I don't even know what movies are out right now. Did America really put a man on the moon? Eventually, yes. Call me crazy, but I do believe the supposed first one was faked, though, to "beat" Russia in the space race. Do some research and it's pretty shocking. Would you like to date someone a lot purer than you? Idc. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No, but I turn the brightness down for if I wake up in the middle of the night and want to check the time. Have you slept in a bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? I don't believe so. Do you like tattoos and piercings? Helllll yes. :') What are you really into? Animals, art, some weird Korean guy on the Internet... Do your parents like your best friends? Yes. Have you ever taken a nap with a member of the opposite sex? Yeah. Do you have weak upper body strength? Yes. What color was the last cup you drank from? It's just clear glass. How old is your oldest sibling? I actually don't know her exact age. 30-something. What was the last thing you ate that had nuts in it? A Nature Valley cashew bar I had earlier today. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? I have no idea. Who did you last shake hands with? uhhhhhhhh Has anybody asked you out on a date recently? Nah. When was the last time somebody asked you to be their girlfriend? When Girt asked me out a few years ago. Name something you’re picky about: Food. Who did you last ask for help? My mom. Do you like corn? Yeah. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Right now I honestly probably would, believe it or not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mum. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Yeah. How do you earn money? The only occasions where I ever and very rarely earn money is if someone (non-family, of course) pays me to take pictures for them. Where were you raised? All you need to know is a crappy town in eastern NC. Are your ears gauged? No, but I want the first holes in my earlobes to be, but only with very small gauges. I just can't figure out how to do it myself, at least with the gauges I have. I think I'm missing something. Explain what triggered your last kiss? We were saying goodbye. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? I mean I could, but it'd seriously fucking suck. Have you ever made out in a park? No, because I don't do that in public. What are you listening to? "Paint You With My Love" by Marilyn Manson. I wasn't big on the album when it came out, but this is one of the songs that's aight to me. Last thing you said out loud? I gave Venus a little wave and said "hey babe" or something like that like I do sometimes when she's slithering around and looks out towards me. Are you sad? Always at least a little bit. I have been kinda down this evening. Where is your dad? I would hope at home. He's probably watching TV, or maybe in bed.

[snowflake-of-destruction]

Grass is Greener // Sibling Shenanigans 1/3

“I might be getting a divorce!” The signs of truth were there. Kairi had a cat carrier in each hand, Astrophe, the princess too good for a carrier, laid across her chest with claws dug into her shoulder, and the long strap of a duffel bag crossing her chest at a slant with the bag itself balanced against a cocked hip. Kairi’s shadow and liner were smudged and eyes too bright. Her smile was forced. Her hair was coiled in a complicated knot, but with several strands fallen out and curling slightly with damp and stuck to her face and neck,  and she was wearing a short black sequined dress with tennis shoes and no socks. She was a definite picture. 

However, her lines were delivered with the air of someone announcing that they had won an all expenses paid trip to Port Royal, and not that the life they had built was crumbling around them, so Axel thought he could be excused when it was with an exasperated sigh and a, “What happened this time?” that he welcomed his little sister through his front door and not a sympathetic and concerned, “Tell me what happened.”

“You know how Vanitas was supposed to be gone this weekend?” The carriers were already on the floor and Kairi and Vanitas’s manx, Ali, had, by all evidence Axel could see, turned to smoke and reformed outside the wire barred door as soon as it was set on the ground before Kairi had even bent to unlatch it, Astrophe running after his sister. “Is Stuffing shut in the bedroom?” All of Kairi’s cats knew Turkey was monarch of the realm, and they were proud aunts and uncles to the litter (Pumpkin, Gravy, Cranberry, Potato, and Biscuit, all of whom were supposed to have gone on to new homes by now, but Kairi suspected were to become permanent fixtures since Axel had not been able to “find the time” to secure appropriate homes so far since “They can’t just go to anyone, Kairi, and I’m not sending them to your broken home either!”) but Kairi’s old wirehair cat, Tillac, who Axel assumed was in the other carrier, and Stuffing had a rivalry that stretched back years. 

Axel didn’t even bother to nod, opting instead to ask, “Is Xion okay?” as he closed the door and then addressed his sister’s other question while bending to pick up the shoes she’d already kicked off so he could place them on the shoe rack by the door which she never remembered to do.  “No, I don’t keep Stuffing shut up unless I’m expecting Tilly, which I wasn’t.” The last was said with a pointed look. “I see you had your hands full, but would it have killed you to call?”

Kairi gaped at him. “Axel, I just took the kids and left my husband, and you manage to take his side by implying the only reason we could have argued is if I had planned something untoward in his absence, insult one of my dearest friends, imply you care more about Xion than your own sister, and whine about how my showing up is going to impact the plans I know you don’t have all in the space of seconds? Axel, your baby sister is distraught!” 

“Yeah, but is Xion okay?” Axel repeated without pause. “She’s sensitive.” He dropped the shoes in their proper place and let out a belated snort. “Untoward? Are you using a word of the day calendar so you can impress the hubby’s friends?”

Kairi released Tillac to go harass Stuffing until Turkey put her in her place, stood up, and tugged the hem of her dress down and readjusted the bodice to try and wrangle everything into a more presentable place. “Not all of us spend our days communicating only in grunts, brother dear.”

“Hey!” Axel gasped in mock offense. “I’m trying my best to teach Demyx human speech, but sometimes I have to meet him halfway.” He opened up his arms and gestured with his hands for Kairi to come hug him, an olive branch she immediately accepted, tripping over the cat carriers to throw herself in his arms. “Now tell me what happened and we can get drunk, or I’ll go threaten the bastard with a weed whacker or something.”  He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. There wasn’t enough information yet to establish whether this was a you’ll work it out moment or a you really shouldn’t go back this time with a side of you could do so much better, so he left no follow up.

“It’s really not that bad,” were Kairi’s first words and Axel could have provided commentary, but led her over the couch instead. Presumably, that meant Xion was fine. “It’s my fault. I picked a fight.”

He waited a second for more details, and, when none came, he urged her along. “Atta girl. Knock some teeth out? He has too many.”

“Axel, please.”

“Didja, blacken one of those creepy gold eyes?” Axel forced an exaggerated shudder to go with his words. He didn’t have to do much to make it happen. He’d found Vanitas unnerving ever since Kairi introduced them (or, rather, failed to, since “Guess who got married in Vegas?” did not an introduction make).

“His eyes are hazel and they are gorgeous.” Kairi sighed, picking up a wandering kitten from the arm of the couch and sitting them on her lap to cuddle (Pumpkin or Cranberry, but with Kairi’s hand covering the the top of their head while she scritched their scalp, there was no way to check the marking).

“Sure, if you’re a hawk. I bet all the lady hawks go crazy.”

“That’s my husband,” Kairi warned.

“Yeah, but for how much longer?” Axel scoffed, brushing his sister’s fight with husband off again, something he still wasn’t sure he wouldn’t regret later, though Kairi’s glare was weak enough he was confident that he would be called to post bail because Kairi and Vanitas were picked up for indecent acts in the back seat of a convertible in the middle of a car show by next week. It wasn’t like this was the first time Kairi had shown up on his door, claiming things might be over. There was a bit of a girl who cried wolf situation at this stage. He picked up his half finished beer from the coffee table and took a swig. “And I’m just saying you have bad taste. Xion excluded. Do you want to put your duffel  and the carriers in the guest room?”

“I don’t have bad taste. You have bad taste,” Kairi fired back and Axel couldn’t help but picture her at eight years old with a missing tooth and a haircut she’d given herself because he had dared her. “Your last boyfriend was literally a serial killer.”

“You have to kill three people before its serial and he was only convicted of manslaughter. Honestly, it’s like you never had a bad relationship before.” Axel’s easygoing reply of the standard line didn’t match the sudden flicker out and fade of amusement from his eyes.

“You do better with bored housewives.” Kairi patted his arm, and it was almost like an apology. “I’ll get the luggage in a minute.”

“I do fantastic with bored housewives,” Axel corrected, “but I’m usually only interested in their husbands.”

“Oh! Speaking of,” Kairi tucked her legs beneath her and sat up straighter, predatory look entering her eyes, “You started work for Xion’s brother-in-law today, right?”

Kairi smiled suddenly with too many teeth--maybe she was well suited to her husband after all--and Axel found it took all his focus to swallow his beer without choking. It occurred to him that the thermostat might have been broken, because the room was getting humid but the air hadn’t kicked on. “Weren’t you distraught?” He furrowed his brow like a good concerned big brother. “Didn’t you have a fight with your husband? You may be getting divorced. I know we don’t talk about things that bother us like a normal family, thanks Dad, but that’s upsetting news! I’m distraught! My ears are wide open.” He took one of Kairi’s hands in both of his and there was a meow of protest from Pumpkin. “I’m listening.”

Kairi pulled away and resumed important kitten petting duties. Unlike before, where her petulance was for Axel  taking things too lightly, her frustration now seemed to be at internal sources. “Sora invited me away for the weekend. Most of that duffel was already packed.”

“What about Xion?” Axel whined his bias. “She was in…” Axel made an okay symbol with his thumb and index finger and whistled between his teeth for effect, “fine form when I saw her earlier. She was wearing this petal pink bodycon number so short I saw that starfish you’re always talking about, and I think she cut her hair again, or at least did some different product. She was wearing that perfume you got her too. I thought you guys had something planned tonight.”

“Maybe she was going out with Ventus.” Kairi was dismissive enough in tone, but her lips pursed when they were done with the words and Pumpkin made a complaining noise like he’d been squeezed. 

“Who?” Axel oozed false innocence and confusion.

“Her husband...fiancé...boyfriend...whatever,” Kairi waved vaguely, more obviously disgruntled by the moment.

“Not whatever. Just because you skipped a few steps with ol’ Vani the Vain, doesn’t mean there is a distinct difference between those three things, typically one that matters to most people.”

“Just those in the relationship,” Kairi countered.

“And those with...what’s the word?” Axel pretended to think as Pumpkin abandoned Kairi in favor of him, and two more cats came bolting into the room as if summoned, sensing Dad was handing out love. “Morals? Boundaries? Restraint?”

“Van and I do have restraints…” Kairi hummed,  trailing off once the joke was made and clicking her tongue to lure Potatoes to her.

Axel howled protest and screwed up his face, playing along, glad Kairi was distracted again before she could get sad. “ Too much information even for us!”  When Kairi giggled--with grateful eyes that said she wasn’t really that amused, but was trying because she saw he was working hard to keep things light from the moment she’d walked in the door--Axel declared that part of his job done and reoriented back to allowing Kairi to tell her story. “So Vanitas was supposed to be gone so you made plans with Sora, and you were just going to leave the cats? “

“Xion was going to check in on the cats,” Kairi clarified the important part.

“You were going to have Xion catsit while you went traipsing off with the flavor of the month?” Axel stretched his mouth and widened his eyes, daring his face to stick in the clowning expression. “You’ll never get her to leave Airvent and marry you instead that way!”

“I’m already married...for now,” Kairi tokenly defended her marriage.

“Doesn’t count. He didn’t get my blessing...and he never will.” Axel was quick on both parts of the rejoinder.

Kairi ignored him as he expected her to and started to confess in a rush, “So Vanitas announces that he’s not going to the conference anymore; something about him finding out some of the last second substitutions in presenters and articles being presented when his was declined in the peer review stage...He was still published, but it’s a whole political thing with being featured in the conference. Anyway, he had to boycott on principle, so he’s home, and he told me to get ready because we were going out to dinner and we were going to order multiple bottles of wine and get kicked out of our favorite restaurant because he’s already a disgrace…his words. He gave me the opening, and I took it, because I’m panicked Sora is going to show up at the door.”

Axel raised his hand like an obedient child in a classroom to be called on, but just went ahead and interrupted even when he was ignored. “Isn’t Sora the yoga guy? Couldn’t he defeat Vani Vain with the power of friendship and love?” He hadn’t met Sora. Kairi was quite adamant that he wasn’t allowed to after he’d been a little more than politely amused at her stories. It was a fair ask since Kairi had, rightly, assumed that the only reasons Axel wanted to meet Sora were to see if he could make him cry for the fun of it, warn him off his sister, or, if he proved to be as attractive as Kairi said, sleep with him himself.

Kairi continued as if the interruption hadn’t happened. “I don’t take it right away. I get dressed, start to do my hair, and then I start throwing things from the vanity and yelling about how he can’t just order me to doll up like that’s all I am, his doll, waiting pretty on a shelf, ready to play with when he remembers I’m there. I point out he never asked me to come to the convention with him, and after we had such fun at last years’.” Axel snorted, knowing that story, and the pattern of being blocked out continued,  “And I know how many spouses come along now. I think I accused him of having an affair. I really don’t know. I half blacked out. A spirit took over, and when I came to, I was packing a bag and insulting his paper because he still wasn’t getting angry enough fast enough to justify me leaving.”

“It sounds like you handled the situation brilliantly,” Axel complimented. “So did you call Sora and tell him to pick you up here, or is the weekend off? Am I on catsitting and husband deflection duty?” He wasn’t seeing a problem yet, not even something that warranted Kairi’s overdramatic divorce line, though a troubling thought did occur to him. “If he smacked you, shoved you, laid a hand on you in any way when you started yelling at him, I will do more than threaten him with the chainsaw. He’s dead. Demyx will help me hide the body. He knows a guy, and he owes me. They both owe me. Plus, I learned some tricks from my ex.” He softened his concern and threats he was prepared to follow through with in jokes. 

“Stop thinking the worst of him at every opportunity,” Kairi snapped, and Potatoes rubbed his head against her stomach to calm her. “He just...took some low blows of his own and things escalated more quickly than I wanted them to.” She shifted uncomfortably.

“Like what?” Axel responded carefully, not wanting to supply guesses when it was a losing game, even if he came from the angle of listing reasons anything Vanitas could have said was untrue.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kairi insisted, which was a prime sign that it did. “I just might be here a few days for real after Sora and I get back. He’s coming to pick me up in an hour.”

Axel was silent a moment, assessing whether he should push Kairi to talk or hope the weekend healed the wounds, then nodded and gently lifted all cats away from his body. “An hour doesn’t give us much time. Go sit at the dining room table. Go!” He shooed her.

Kairi complied without asking for explanation and Axel went into the kitchen, grabbing two wine glasses down from the cabinet and an open half a red from the fridge. On impulse, he grabbed a few empty beer bottles from his recycling pile as well and stuck them under his arms. He continued their conversation as he rejoined his sister. “Do I get to meet Sora or is he supposed to stay outside and honk? Put your head down on the table and look listless.” He poured the barest hint of wine in the bottom of the glass he put in front of Kairi, and did the same for the one he put in his spot at the table. He arranged the empty beer bottles with the eye of an artist. “Let me go get my phone. Look sadder, but not so sad it’s unbelievable.” 

“If you want to meet Sora, take one of his classes.”

Axel snapped a series of pictures to choose from, talking to himself, “She’s doing fine, Vanitas. We spent the evening talking. Of course. I’ll send you a picture.” Raising his voice a few decibels, he gestured back to the living room. “Go lie down on the couch, cover yourself with the fleece from the armchair,  put a cat or two on your chest, and close your eyes. We’ll shoot, ‘don’t come over now, Van, she’s sleeping,’ next and then you can change into sweats and grab some board games from the closet. I’m assuming you’ll be too mad to answer phone calls from him anyway, but do you want to take your hair down and get it wet in the sink for some, ‘No, she just got out of the shower, why are you so creepy needing evidence?’ safety shots?”

“You’re seriously the best brother ever,” Kairi leaned up on tiptoes and pecked Axel’s cheek on her way into the living room.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Roxas was watching you today from the upstairs window,” Kairi tossed out nonchalantly. “Xion texted me about it. He wants to smell your hair and cook you dinner.”

“He what?” Axel stuttered and nearly fumbled his phone. So much for a steady hand and unflappable cool. The Howe he hadn’t met yet, having spoken with Isa Howe during his initial looks around and estimates for the yard, had come outside after Xion had left, and all but admitted to watching him at least as long as to comment on Xion detouring to chat with him a minute before she went to her car, and, sure, Axel had purposefully peeled off his shirt and rolled down his overalls to his waist after Roxas had went inside, hoping he was still watching, but he hadn’t seen any proof, and their brief conversation had spent a moment on shock of shared acquaintances (“You know Xion? I knew you were Kairi’s brother--she recommended you--so it makes sense since they’re close, but that’s wild. Small world.”)  and then stayed in the professional (apparently Roxas had been the one who had done the sketches Isa had shown Axel of what the garden in the backyard was supposed to look like when he was done). Maybe Axel had noticed that Roxas had eyes the exact color blue as the delphinium hybrid he had presented at his last flower show (had to keep up the street cred that he was more than just a lawn service guy and a tree and hedge trimmer somehow--even if that sort of thing was his bread and butter), and that he was pretty cut since he hadn’t bothered with a shirt when he ran outside. And perhaps, when the sun caught his hair he looked like an angel out of a renaissance painting. None of that meant anything though.

“He wants to cook you dinner,”Kairi repeated, cavalier. “Be gentle with him. I think it would be his first time out of the box in awhile.”

“I’m not…” Axel pinched the bridge of his nose, counting to keep from getting angry and only managing to count the problems he had with what Kairi was suggesting. “Is this why you recommended me to your friend? Are you my pimp now?”

“He needs a fling.” Kairi had the nerve to shrug. “You are an accomplished flinger. The only person you’re seeing right now is Demyx, and he’s just a friend sleeping in one of your spare rooms….He is still just a friend sleeping in one of your spare rooms, right?”

“Most nights.” Axel left it ambiguous whether Demyx spent the odd night elsewhere or whether the friend lines sometimes blurred. “And my best tree trimmer.”

“That’s what I heard from Ienzo.” Kairi proved the Emberson comedic timing lived well in her. “So what’s the problem with Xion and I wanting to give Roxas a hot gardener fantasy to brighten up his life? He’s a friend.”

“So many things are wrong with that, Thalassa Shell.” In times so serious, Axel had no choice but to bring out family pet names. 

A beat passed. Kairi didn’t apologize for the idea like she was supposed to. Axel didn’t harp on it more. Another question fought its way out of his throat. “Incidentally though, did he say anything else about me?”

[charmingnines]

asshole - DE artfest day 3/college au

summary: 

From his hoodie pocket, Gavin pulled out a tiny black kitten, fast asleep. “I found her outside. Will you help me sneak her into our dorm?” Nines wasn’t a big rule breaker, but seeing Gavin gently handle a kitten…. It was hard enough a having a crush on his asshole of a roommate without baby animals getting involved....

Gavin convinces Nines to help him sneak a cat into their dorm room. All they have to do is sneak past their RA, Ada. Easy right?

read below vvv

“Hey, Ada,” Nines said, already internally cringing.

Ada, his dorm building’s RA, sat at a desk in the center of the lobby. There was no way to go up the stairs without passing her first. Ada looked up from her phone, smiling politely. “Hey, Nines.”

Normally, Nines would leave it at that, heading up to his dorm room to power nap before his next class. Today, though, was different. His roommate, Gavin, had hijacked him before he’d walked into their building.  

Gavin had grabbed Nines’ arm, pulling him behind a bush. Nines, thinking he was being mugged, had started lashing out.

“Jesus, shithead, precious cargo here,” Gavin had said. Nines, confused, glanced down at Gavin’s crotch. Gavin rolled his eyes. “Not my dick, dick.” From his hoodie pocket, Gavin pulled out a tiny black kitten, fast asleep. “I found her outside. Will you help me sneak her into our dorm?”

Nines wasn’t a big rule breaker, but seeing Gavin gently handle a kitten…. It was hard enough a having a crush on his asshole of a roommate without baby animals getting involved.

“Fine, I’ll help,” Nines had said, like he wouldn’t jump off a cliff if Gavin asked. “What do you need me to do?”

Ada was known to look the other way when people threw parties or drank, but she drew the line at pets. Nines’ older brother, Connor, had gotten caught with his boyfriend’s Saint Bernard three too many times the previous semester.

Since Gavin’s kitten was so small, all Nines had to do was distract Ada while Gavin casually went up the stairs and into their dorm.  

“How do I ‘distract’ Ada?” Nines had asked.

“Easy,” Gavin had said. “Flirt with her.”

Nines had raised his eyebrows. “Flirt with her?” he’d echoed. “You know I’m gay, right?”

Gavin had looked down. “I mean, you’ve never outright told me.”

“I think there’s, like, five pride flags in our living room.”

Gavin had scowled. “I don’t just- assume things.”

“Okay, okay, whatever,” Nines had said, rolling his eyes. “Let’s get back to the plan. I flirt with Ada, she shuts me down immediately, you get caught, they take your cat to cat jail-”

“I only need a few seconds to get into the stairwell,” Gavin had interrupted. “Besides, you’re pretty, Ada’s pretty. Do the secret handshake or whatever.”

“The secret handshake?” Nines had said. Gavin thinks I’m pretty? Nines had thought.

“Look, are you gonna help me or not? Cause I’m not leaving this cat out here when it’s cold as fuck….” Gavin’s cat meowed pathetically.

“Fine,” Nines said. “But you owe me,” he’d huffed, and strode inside their building, trying to act more confident than he felt.

Nines leaned on Ada’s desk, eyes flicking over the cup of pens and the giant bowl of condoms.

“What’s up?” Ada asked.

Behind him, Nines heard the doors open. Gavin.

“Any plans this weekend?” Nines asked quickly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gavin walking too casually with a very obvious lump in his sweatshirt pocket. Ada was squinting at Gavin. “We should do something!” Nines blurted out.

Ada’s gaze shot back to Nines at his outburst, eyebrows raised. “I have a girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Nines said. “That’s- great,” he added, dragging out his words as Gavin opened the stairwell door.

Ada leaned forward, “Nines, remember when I helped you move in?”

“Yes…?” Nines said. Ada looked at him knowingly. “I… appreciate it?” Nines added.

“I carried the box with like- seven pride flags in it,” Ada said.

“Ah,” Nines said. “And you’re wondering why a gay man is asking you out?”

“Just a bit,” Ada said.

Gavin slipped into the stairwell, shooting Nines a very obvious thumbs up. “Just questioning my taste in men,” Nines joked weakly.

Ada laughed. “You’ll find a good one,” she said, patting Nines’ hand.

Nines nodded and made his way toward the stairwell. When he got there Ada called out. “By the way, I don’t give a shit if you and Gavin smoke weed. No need to make it a covert operation.”

Nines held in a laugh. “Thanks Ada, you’re the best!” he choked out.  

_

“Ada thinks we’re potheads now,” Nines said in greeting.

Gavin was sitting on their couch. “Oh, is that how you flirt? ‘Hey, girl, wanna hotbox my dorm?’” he said, cackling. Gavin had taken the kitten out of his hoodie pocket. She rested in his lap, making pleased noises as he stroked her head. “I’m naming her Asshole,” Gavin said lovingly.

Nines snorted. “You’re opening up so many bad doors with that one,” he said.

“What do you mean?”  

“What a cute little thing that Asshole is! Let me see Asshole! You should wash Asshole!”

“Oh, fuck off,” Gavin said, but he still scooched over so Nines could sit down and pet the kitten.

[thedappleddragon]

hooooo my fucking god I don't know why but recently my anxiety/sence of dread has SKYROCKETED in the last 3 days, I haven't been sleeping great and last night I had an anxiety dream about manning the register at work. idk I guess today was fine but im so fucking overstimulated I guess?? I seriously just dont fuking know. but anyway here’s a summary of some days that I may or may not remember. putting it under the cut

Wednesday I was exited to work, they didn’t need me, I hung out with my friends at their outdoor band concert and had boba and it got super cold out

Thursday I went with my dad to drop off a car, then we had breakfast together at a little restaurant I had never been to before. He told me about his childhood n stuff. Then I went to work and priced things outside and felt good about helping some people buy plants even tho I didn’t know exactly what I was doing and ended up handing them off to Becky anyway. Got off work, came home, hung out waiting to be able to go visit my friend but she took a while so dad and I made the snack he had a lot as a kid which was just handmade chocolate frosting on graham crackers. Eventually my friend got home so I grabbed one of those graham crackers in some Tupperware and some other stuff and headed out. It was a longer drive than I was expecting but eh whatever, I got there no problem with a bunch of dad’s shit in the back of the car. We had awkward hellos in her apartment and I pet her fat ass cat until she suggested we go thrifting and oh my god I had never wanted to go thrifting more in my life than right then. I had one of those moments where I realized oh I’m an adult who can go out and just DO things :D so we walked around and gossiped in goodwil and had a great time until they closed, whereupon steph frantically looked for anything that was open near us while I drove around. We settled on going to a little park nearby, where we climbed on the tube with holes on it and swung on the swings. Then we walked around a dense tree/brush like and into the middle of a field, having our main character moments as we walked to the top of a hill with a cross on it. I took a picture of the sunset and a selfie with both of us before we walked back through the field and drove back to her apartment. I gave her 2 tiny flower jars and she let me borrow her container of earring hardware and a bunch of different tiny things to make into earrings. I had a great time and I’d love to hang out again, maybe when everything isn’t closed lmao. We joked a lot about understanding why people do drugs lmao since there’s nothing else to do! everything’s closed!! Also some joke flirting mixed in for flavor. We have an excuse to hang out again so I can return her earring supplies and she can return my Tupperware lol. I thought my phone was going to die on the way home before I realized there was a charging cord in the car! Nice. Got home, watched my friend stream plasmaphobia for a bit while I finished a birthday gift, and hung out and slept when she quit streaming. 

Friend’s birthday party day!! Also dad moving day!! The first task of the day was to drive with my dad down to the nearest uhaul to pick up a big ol’ truck, and follow him home in the car while he lead the way in the truck. Then we brought his car full of shit to the apartment, got his key and paid his first month, and looked through everything to do inspection. Tbh it’s a pretty nice apartment, I’d love to spend some time there once it’s a bit more furnished. My favorite part is a Harry Potter style hidey hole closet that’s meant for storage, but it’s the perfect size for a secluded hangout spot for me. I’ll totally let him use it for storage if he wants, I just like sitting in there. I joked that I would let Emily hang out in the spare bedroom and I could get the tiny room. But we spent time cleaning and looking around and bringing in boxes before dad sent me to pick up lunch, my sister, and another car load of boxes. I left to do all 3 and came back with Mcallisters, and we all sat on the floor and ate together. A very nice way to break in a new apartment. We brought in boxes and dad sent us on a quest to pick up a car part and drop it off where the car we dropped off the day before. We got there just fine, but getting to the second location was a nightmare because of all my wrong turns and u turns and no left turns, it was awful. I mean we got there eventually but still. By then it was time for me to get home so I could wash my hair and get ready for the party!! I got everything ready, but my sister wouldn’t be home with the car on time, so I just took my mom’s van. I was on time for once!! But in exchange I didn’t realize I had forgotten Cassidy’s gift until I was like 3 minutes away. But also I found driving my moms van very easy compared to last time I tried to drive it, and I think I’m a much more confident driver now :) but I was one of the first to arrive, accidentally twinned with cass, waited for everyone to show up, met her new dog, and then we all packed up the picnic basket and walked to the top of a hill to have our little sandwiches and play cards against humanity. On the walk there we passed by a park where little kids were asking why we were all dressed up if it wasn’t Halloween, so I shouted at them that it was her birthday and handed them the branch I was carrying. We played CAH on the hill and ate little sandwiches and meatballs and drank sparkling juice and had a lovely time, and when we were done, we walked back to her house where there was pizza and we all changed out of our formal wear. My bra was sewed into my dress with 6 stitches, so I grabbed some scissors and flashed my friend’s cat as I cut my bra free of the dress because I forgot to bring an extra. I changed into my ghostbusters shirt and snake onesie and joined everyone outside for pizza and lots and lots of stories and ice cream cake and gossip and quiplash and balloons and gifts and CAH and friends leaving and new friends arriving and more quiplash and then the grass getting cold and wet and going ham on keeping the balloons up and then playing that’s what she said (basically CAH but ✨for women ✨) and by this time there was a dude I didn’t know but he was very nice and cute and already taken. Tbh I didn’t know half the people there, there was a group of 4 cool alt people I had never met and then the 4 band kids I already knew but everyone else seemed to know each other and they all had great energy so I yelled a lot and joked a ton and had an amazing time. As the crowd dwindled and the night got cooler, I helped put things away before I left so I could be a nice guest, said my goodbyes, gathered my things, and drove home past midnight. Ask walked around the house turning off lights like my mom asked, I realized that my dad wouldn’t be sleeping here anymore, and I felt bad that he had to spend the night all alone in his new apartment :( and this is going to be a huge financial burden that idk if he can afford, rent for the apartment is almost as much as my mom pays for the house. Jejdjgjt this is all a mess and I would like to go back to ignoring it all <3 Listened to a lot of two trucks by lemon demon lmao

Hoo boy howdy I did a lot of shit today. Basically as soon as I woke up I got a text from dad about us helping him move with a promise of donut holes and a fruit platter. I walked out to the garage to find our family friends the drakes helping to move boxes, so we all spent several hours loading boxes into our cars and driving back and forth from the house to the apartment, with emily and I avoiding the drakes as much as possible lmao. When we had moved as much as we could in the car, we started loading up the uhaul, shoving as much shit in there as possible so we only had to do one trip there and back. Partially through unloading the truck the drakes stopped cleaning things before we brought them in left and some randos from dad’s work came to help unload and somewhere in the middle of all this our aunt and uncle and her service dog came to visit?? Bruh idk so much stuff happened. Emily asked me to take her home so she could work on school stuff and we put things back into the garage and I went back to the apartment to help with stuff and hang out with my aunt while my dad and uncle returned the truck. We made a list of stuff I might need for college and I wrote it down on a notepad and most of the page space was taken up by ponies tbh. The men brought back burger king and eventually my aunt and uncle left. I helped my dad clean up and set up his wifi and we watched mama Mia. It was my first time seeing the film, and it was really dang fun. Then I made dad drive me ho e since emily was still gone with the silver car. I’ll spend he night over there eventually, but not yet. I’m exited to eventually invite friends over since I’ve never been able to do that before. So now I’m home trying g to go to sleep so I can work tomorrow. I keep thinking about smoking weed and making out with someone in the hidey hole in dad’s apartment............ even tho I have literally no one to do that with afsagssg I’m a CHILD. 

Had dreams last night about being stuck on the infinity train again, except there was a mechanic of switching the world between 2d and 3d and the cast of Bluey had to help bingo go through stages of grief / character moments to help her get off the train or something. I was tossing and turning for a few hours anxiously waking up thinking I was gonna be late and going back to bed so I could sleep/dream more. But then I finally got up, fed my cat, fed myself, helped clean the kitchen a little bit, got ready for work, arrived 15 minutes late on accident, worked register for 6 hours, got more comfortable with register and learned how to do stuff, lots of friendly people, lots of me struggling and my bones hurting, dad brought me food but I couldn’t get to my lunch break until everything was room temperature. The chicken sandwich reheated well but the fries did not. After work dad and I stopped by the house, I got an info card to fill out so I can be called in for jury duty eventually, dad handed me $50 for dinner for us and my sister, we laid on the floor and looked at the noodles and company menu, drove there, picked up our food, had a lovely dinner at dad’s apartment, laid around while he talked to Greg on the phone, went to target to pick up small apartment things like a clock and a trash can and some small groceries but it made me nervous because I hate spending money and watching my dad spend money he may or may not have, and by then we were tired as shit and after dropping his stuff off emily and I drove home and I tried teaching her how to crochet for a school project. Now I’m hanging out wanting to go to bed and thinking about how everybody else my age working at ACE is doing like 60 hours a week with 2 jobs and saving for college and I’m just sitting here with probably 14 hours a week and fuck. I don’t want to spiral into shit, I just want to keep busy as much as possible. Maybe I’ll ask for as many work hours as possible, maybe I’ll ask my friends to hang out, idk. Right now I jut want to be busy so I don’t have to think about anything. I’ll spend as much time as possible helping my dad set up his apartment, I don’t care.

WAAAAA TODAY AT WORK WAS SO STRESSFUL, I LEFT FELLNG SO FRAZZLED IT SUCKED. basically I worked register for 4 hours but they’re all trying to ween me off asking for help to get me more comfortable, and we were surprisingly busy, and my garden boss becky asked me to do 2 extra things and my boss boss kept asking about paperwork that I couldn't fill out because I needed my sister to text me something, and an old man got mad at me over the phone because no-one was out there to fill his propane tank and I had a lady waiting for 10 minutes for someone to help load salt into her car and a middle aged man tried to use sarcasm at me while I was in friendly cashier mode aND IM SORRY I HAVE ADHD I DONT GET IT PLEASE S T O P and I tried answering the phone more and I didnt get the things done that becky asked and I left shit there because I just wanteD OUT. afterwards I went to target to get something, idk im writing this afterwards so I not really remember 

and today, my day off. ugh god I dont remember what I did, I know I picked up a vent for my mom’s bathroom and I just went to go get Taco Bell with my sister and bought her some more about crocheting and she’s making progress :) tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and last year I made her a felt doll of her fursona, so today I started making a crochet doll for her. so far I have the body and libs, but I still need to make the muzzle, tail, ears, attach everything, and hand-sew on all the markings and glue on button eyes. or maybe felt eyes, idk. my stomach hurts and I got upset because I told my mom my cat may be sick because her pee looked suspicious so I crocheted and watched my little pony and now I have a headache and im just trying to listen to music but really I just want to watch 50 arms videos at once but it wasn't loading right and idk man I dont know what’s happening, I may be going into work tomorrow. I think now that I have a job to do 3-4 times a week, I dont feel like I can just chill and wing it anymore, it’s like I have plans forever now. and oh god I still have to sig up for college orientation night or whatever, but my mind hasn'tt been on college for like a month or longer. I think im just going to take some Advil and try to relax with my cat and my music. holy shit dude. I know none’s gonna read this but just. fuck. also I should really post these more frequently rather than let them pile up in my texts. thinking about going back and adding all the dates like I did with my early quarantine diary, but that feels like a lot of work

[chazz-anova]

My official Far Cry 5 fanfic!

Alrighty everyone! After a LONG time, I’ve finally finished the first section of this fic and I am so excited to start posting it everywhere lmao, so please feel free to leave your comments in the replies I’d love to hear what people think! Now without further ado; here’s chapter 1!

Veronica glanced lazily at the clock, which read 3:28am. She'd gotten off work about 4 hours earlier, but couldn't seem to lull herself to sleep no matter how many drinks she had or smoke breaks she took. Lately, the young sheriff's deputy had felt unsettled, like she was stuck in a rut. Ice clinked in her Crown Royal glass as she raised it to her lips, finishing it with a swig. "What's wrong with me Olive?" She asked the calico cat that padded silently into the room. The cat replied with a dainty mew and climbed into Veronica's lap. While petting her companion, she glanced around her modest townhome. 

It was a tastefully furnished two story home with a balcony and a neighborhood pool. She sat on a powder blue couch that was joined by an armchair off to the side. The TV screen in front of her read 'Are you there? Press X to continue" Answering the question aloud, she muttered "Sometimes I wonder if I am still here" She lifted Olive off her lap and replaced her with an engraved silver tray, a baggie of weed, and a Cherry Dynamite flavoured Swisher. She may be a deputy, but some vices she was reluctant to give up. 

A few moments later- Veronica stepped out onto her balcony, blunt in hand. She slowly took in the familiar scenery, living right on the outskirts of Hope County afforded her one of the best views. The Whitetail Mountains towered over the town beyond, the neon lights of various restaurants and gas stations glowing upwards and framing the tall peaks in a surreal glow. Her gaze turned up to the stars, dazzling like diamonds on the velvet black sky. As she lit up and the lighter illuminated her balcony, the atmosphere shifted a degree 'Everything will be different soon.' The thought flew through her mind without warning, and she shivered as though possessed. "Jeez..." She murmured and took a long drag of the sweet smoke, shaking her head and praying for rest to come quickly, after this she’d go and try to lay in her bed until sleep overtook her finally. 

Running. Feet pounding the ground. Lungs shriveled and screaming for a full breath. Tears welled up in Veronica's eyes as she wind cut at her skin. In front of her, millions of faceless souls reached their hands out; grasping for her as she ran, seemingly suspended between them and what she ran from. The group was insistently whispering "Help. Help us." Veronica turned around, slowing a fraction. Behind her there was a plume of green smoke billowing out of an unseen source, threatening to take her mind and steal her heart if she got too close. The entities in front of her were murmuring "Please help us" "We need you". With each  pleading moan their voices grew; louder and louder until their words were a guttural, rasping cacophony of screams. And just as suddenly as they appeared, they were gone and replaced by deafening silence. The air seemed to be holding its breath, and Veronica turned to see the smoke gone as well, leaving her alone in the blackness. 

Upon waking, Veronica gasped and clutched her heart, which was fighting to escape her chest with each beat. “Fuck!” She exclaimed and looked around her room. In the darkness she saw everything was normal, her desk and computer stood in front of her and no one occupied the chair in the corner to her relief. She took her phone from the nightstand and saw that it was only 6:20am. “Man, screw this.” She burrowed back under the black covers and pulled them over her head. 

The next time she awoke- gentle sunlight streamed in through the half open curtains and her eyes fluttered open. Checking her phone, it was now 10:42am, and relief filled her. Looking underneath the time she saw a message from her co-worker and good friend, Joey Hudson. It read “Come to your shift ready for some bull today!” Veronica sighed, typing out her response “Always do!” 

Soon enough, Olive jumped onto her bed and sat, giving her an impatient look. “Alright you little beast, I’ll get up.” She smiled at her furry friend and swung her feet over the side, striding into the kitchen and grabbing the cat food while also setting her coffee pot to brew.

In about 20 minutes- she was sitting on her balcony with a hot cup of mostly cream and sugar with a little coffee, and a quickly rolled joint. ‘Please let today go by quickly...:’ she prayed to no one in particular. Her work outfit looked creased from not being washed recently, and she knew Sheriff Whitehorse would have something to say about that. ‘After this joint I should probably get going.’ V thought, looking through the balcony windows at the clock. 

Veronica stepped into the grey/white walled sheriff’s office; seeing Nancy at the front desk on the phone, examining her long nails disinterestedly. She gave her a quick wave before heading back to Sheriff Earl Whitehorse’s office, where a commotion could be heard. 

“I don’t care how scared of him all you backwoods hicks are, where I’m from we get shit done!” An aggressive man declared, venom dripping from his words. ‘This must be the aforementioned bullshit Hudson mentioned.’ Veronica sighed before pasting a professional smile over her frown and stepping into the room. “You’ve got no right to just come in here like-” Hudson’s confident voice was absorbed by the same angry voice that had started the yelling, “Oh I’ve got every right missy. Know why? Because I’m a federal marshal, and what I say goes.” The tension in the air was malleable. Between Hudson glaring daggers at the stranger and Whitehorse’s dejected look, Ronnie knew she had just walked into a shitstorm. “Woah, let’s take it down a notch okay?” She said, directed at the man in front of her. He was of a bulkier build, and his stance said he was used to having things his way or the highway. “Oh great, another dumbass deputy to deal with! Sheriff, get your team and your shit together.” The man pushed past Veronica and Joey, shouldering his way out of the room. “Nice to meet you too!” The youngest deputy called before turning back to Hudson and Whitehorse. “So, who pissed in his cheerios?” 

Hudson just shook her head angrily, as Whitehorse replied grimly “Joseph Seed.”

“That pastor who’s been causing trouble in Hope County?” 

“That’s the one. He’s formed some kind of militia and is kidnapping folks… I’d get yourselves ready, because as soon as the judge fills that warrant we’re all going to pick him up.” 

V met his words with an incredulous look, retorting “He’s bad enough that we all get to join Captain Sunshine there on a simple warrant like that? I mean, every time we’ve had to deal with him and his followers it’s never seemed that severe.” Hudson spoke up, pulling her phone from her pocket and presenting a video “Look for yourself. Someone sent this in a couple days ago.” 

Grainy footage showed a tall, shirtless man in aviators preaching to a flock of similarly dressed people. The video zoomed in on the man’s chilling blue eyes; and the camera suddenly fell to the ground, showing the owner of the device being dragged forward and put on his knees before the preacher. In a casual manner he reached forward and placed his thumbs against the man’s eyes, pressing while his victim’s screams grew louder and more pained. Soon the man fell to the ground, and Joseph flicked the blood from his hands as though it were water. Veronica’s eyebrows raised in surprise as the scene was cut off and a new image appeared on the screen.

The recording was now taking place outside. There was a sizable wooden stage and Joseph stood in the center, a large curtain obscuring what was on a stand behind him. “My children, we must repent for our sins!” Joseph called while pulling the curtain down with some flourish. Veronica gasped in shock upon seeing the man from before who’d had his eyes crushed. He was lifted up onto a wooden pole, his eyes had been replaced by a white flower in each eye socket. Looking down his body- it was clear someone  had mutilated his chest cavity as well, carving out space for a bouquet of the same flowers.  On both sides of his head antlers had been impaled into his skull, where dried blood decorated the base of each antler in grotesque detail. 

When the video finally faded to black, Veronica handed the phone back to Joey. “Wow, I’m glad I didn’t have anything heavy for breakfast.” She deadpanned, shaking her head. “This is a mistake, we need more people.” Whitehorse murmured and walked out of the room with an exasperated look. “Old man’s taking this real hard… I think he saw something real messed up on the last call out to Joseph’s compound.” Hudson looked after him with worry clear on her face. The other deputy nodded, unable to clear the images from the video from her mind. “Even though he’s clearly an ass, maybe the Marshal is right and we’ll just go snatch him up real quick.” 

“Hopefully..” Hudson murmured and left the office as well, leaving Veronica alone. 

The rest of the day- Marshal Cameron Burke holed up in a back office making heated phone calls, trying to find a judge to sign his warrant. V spent most of the day riding with another deputy, Staci Pratt. Veronica couldn’t stand Pratt, so every call they went on was a chore. However, the shift was finally drawing to a close as the pair pulled up once more at the station. 

As soon as they walked in the door, Burke was on them. “You two, I suggest getting some rest tonight, because I found a judge. Once I’ve gathered everything I need, we’ll be flying out to Joseph’s compound.” Veronica checked the clock in the lobby, nodding “Well it’s 9 now, when are we leaving?” The Marshal sighed, as though responding was a chore, “We leave when I call and tell you we’re leaving.” V narrowed her eyes while crossing her arms, “You know, I’m not sure what your problem is, but don’t talk to me like that. You’re an adult, not a petty child, act like it.” The federal marshal was shocked someone had stood up to him, and unsure what to say. Seizing the opportunity to make her escape before her mouth got her into more trouble, Ronnie rushed past the man, shaking her head. ‘What an asshole!’ She thought as she punched numbers into the timeclock, hurrying out of the building without further incident.

About 20 minutes later, Veronica was speeding down the winding country roads in her beat up Mazda Miata. The roads were entirely empty, save for a deer she saw on the side of the road while taking the next turn. Upon rounding the corner- a large flare of light and an earth-shaking explosion caused her to slam on the brakes. “What the hell…” She peered out of the window. “Guess I should go check on that.. being an officer of the law and all…” Her murmured words were enveloped by another explosion, causing her to jump. Some days the job of a deputy wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. 

Ronnie had finally reached the area where the explosions had been coming from, after breaking several traffic laws to get there. Stepping out of the car, she drew her gun and took a preliminary look around the clearing. There were almost cartoon-worthy scorch marks on the ground that had wiped away any sense of greenery on the ground, but no one seemed to be around. V kept the gun at her side and started her sweep of the area. Right as she was going to start heading back to her car to report this to the station, she heard someone walking through the woods to her left. “Note to self, don’t light the fuse before you’re ready to have it blow up..” She heard someone mutter to themselves before she yelled “Freeze! Who are you and what’re you doing here?” A man of medium build walked out of the treeline, holding his hands in the classic ‘I surrender’ style. He wore a green sweatshirt, and a matching ballcap. “Charlemange Victor Boshaw at your service ma’am, I apologise for the bother-” 

“You describe an explosion as a ‘bother’?” Veronica interrupted, gun staying trained on him. 

“Well yeah. It sure bothered me that it exploded.” 

“May I ask what you were exploding?” 

“So my totally awesome cousin Hurk gave me some dynamite that he made himself, and of course being a good buddy I told him I would try it out! Well, silly me I didn’t realise that Hurk only knows how to make short-fused dynamite! So when I went to light it, it exploded preemptively so that’s why there’s those scorch marks… ma’am.” 

Veronica cocked her head to the side, giving the man an incredulous look, “Would you be offended if I said that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard?” He thought about it for a moment before responding sincerely “Nope.” The deputy nodded, saying “Well I appreciate the honesty! Unfortunately, I’ve gotta call the station for this one.” She fished her badge from her pocket. The man crossed his arms, asking “Well what exactly are the charges?” 

“Uhm… detonation of an explosive device and illegal possession for one.” 

“I supposed I can’t argue with that.” He said amiably, watching Veronica reach for her radio off the utility belt she still hadn’t removed after work. 

The pair sat on the curb together, one handcuffed one not. “So you’re the Sharky Boshaw?” Ronnie asked, giving him a mischievous smile. Sharky grinned and shrugged modestly “The one and only!” 

“You’re a legend around the station, I’m surprised I haven’t seen you before! Out of curiosity… why choose this spot for blowing shit up?” 

“Well I was actually on my way to the store when I saw this spot and thought to myself ‘That would be a good field to set off some fireworks’. Then I remembered Hurk had put his stuff in my backseat, and that dynamite is just a less pretty firework, so here we are!” 

When his story was finished, V gave him a look that was part amused, part withering glance. “I can’t tell if you’re joking.” He shrugged with a lackadaisical smile. Before either of them could continue the conversation, a light brown Crown Vic pulled up and the sirens on the roof let out a quick whoop before one of the night shift deputies stepped out. “Hey Veronica! Boshaw, the backseat’s ready for you!” He said, helping Sharky stand and turn towards the car. Veronica stood with him, and gave a curt nod to her coworker, “Thanks for coming out, Sam.” 

Finally after that detour, V was almost home. It was a relatively long drive back and forth, but she didn’t mind it. Working with Sheriff Whitehorse was worth it since she’d known him almost half of her life. Veronica and her mom had moved to Hope County when she was only 12, her mom found work as an officer and then an office administrator for Earl until Nancy came along and gave her mom the chance to take her pension, and start a new job as a conservation officer at a small national park nearby called Polebridge. 

The actual sheriff’s office was in Missoula, about two hours away from Hope County, making Veronica’s drive home take about an hour since she lived practically in between the two. 

 Keeping her eyes on the road, she dug one-handed through her purse for her phone. Once it was in hand she said “Hey Google, call Mom.” and a soft chirp came from the device, processing the demand before dialing. Three rings in- a cheery voice answered. “Hey sweetie!” 

“Hey, mom, I just had a question?”

“Sure what’s up?”

She paused, rethinking her request for a moment. In that second, her nightmare from last night danced through her thoughts and her mind was made up. “Oh um, well I’m going out on a warrant tonight, and I was wondering if you could watch Olive for me? It’s probably nothing, I just had a weird feeling.” 

“Of course! I’d love to see my grandkitty! I’m glad you know when to listen to your gut.” 

“Well I learned from the best! I just got home now, can I pack her up and head over?”

“That’s fine! I’ll be here for a bit. Can I plan on you staying for dinner?”

“Uh… yeah that’ll work, I don’t have any plans. I’ll see you soon, love you!” 

“Love you too!” 

The line disconnected with a click as Veronica pulled into her driveway and stepped out of the car, fetching her keys from the caribinger she kept it on. As she approached the door, she heard insistent meowing on the other side. “I’m comin’…” She chuckled and pushed the door open to reveal Olive, who immediately rushed to hug her legs as she stepped over the threshold. “Hey monster, ready to see grandma?” She asked in a baby voice and grinned at her, reaching down to pick her up. As soon as she did- the cat clambered up to her shoulder and balanced precariously “Why are you like this?” She joked, removing her before making her way to the hallway closet and pulling out the cat carrier and a half-full bag of cat food.

Once she’d put a few more odds and ends into an overnight bag, she took out her decorative, pink bong and loaded a bowl. The water bubbled and pure white smoke filled the center chamber as she lit the greenery in the bowl. After coughing her lungs up for a few moments she set the glass piece on the table and stood up, “Okay, now we can go!” She declared and bundled Olive and all her things into the Miata. 

In a quick 15 minutes- the two of them pulled up in front of her mom’s. It was a tidy ranch style home, painted robin’s egg blue with crisp white shutters. V knocked on the door, Olive’s carrier in one hand. 

Her mom answered the door with a sweet smile on her features, immediately wrapping the deputy in a tight hug, “Hi Ronnie!” She exclaimed before pulling back. “Hi mom!” She responded and stepped through the door, setting Olive down. Sarah Rook looked like an older version of Veronica except her hair was a chestnut brown as opposed to V’s dirty blonde; they shared aquamarine eyes and a light spattering of freckles.

The younger woman pulled the zipped and freed the hyper cat, who immediately jumped from containment to survey her surroundings. “Someone’s impatient!” Her mom chuckled and watched the cat sprint off into the hallway. “She takes after me I guess.” Veronica smiled and inhaled deeply, “Is that steaks and mac and cheese I smell?” 

“Well I thought I’d at least fatten you up before you leave tonight.” Her mom said and ushered her into the dining room. There was a round white table there that was joined by a tall china cabinet filled with memorabilia. The places had already been set, two red and white checkered table mats sat across from each other at the corresponding seats and the silverware was laid out neatly. “Sounds good to me, I’m starving!” Veronica took a seat and watched her mom buzzing about the kitchen as she put the finishing touches on their meals. 

Once everything was done, the table was filled with food. A bowl of salad in the middle, with a basket of rolls to the side. Their plates were adorned with juicy t-bone steaks, mac and cheese, and potato salad. “I knew there was a reason I hadn’t put you in a nursing home…” V joked as she savored a bite of the rare steak, just how she liked it. Her mother scoffed, and took a sip of water, “As if you could.” They both shared a smile and then turned to see Olive padding into the room, her head in the air as she scented the air. “What a brat.” Veronica said as she jumped up on the table expectantly. “You did say she took after you!” Her mom retorted, picking up the naughty cat and setting her on the floor. “So, what’s this warrant you’re going on?”

“Mom, you know I’m not supposed to divulge any details...”

“Oh please, I used to be in the game, and still kind of am. I worked for Whitehorse long before you did, I don’t think I need to be counted as a citizen.” She said, rolling her eyes. Veronica looked uneasy as she considered it for a moment, then relented; “It’s some doomsday cult leader… Joseph Seed. Something about him really freaked me out.” She confessed, almost hanging her head. Being freaked out was not the norm for this deputy. “Why’s that?” 

“I think it’s just his ability to brainwash all of these people… anyone who can do that has too much power. Also Earl is scared of him, which is weird. He’s usually so gungho about catching the bad guys, but he doesn’t even want to go on this warrant.” 

“That’s certainly odd. I’ve never seen that man back down, there must be something seriously bad going on.” Her mom looked off, her brow furrowed in deep thought. “Hopefully this mission will just be in and out. That way I can get back to my baby!” She said the last part in a higher pitch, directing it at the cat, who was sitting in the window behind them. “I hope so too sweetie. People like him are the reason I’ve got a bunker.” Ronnie smirked, saying “Yeah you and everyone else in Hope County, it seems like.” 

“It never hurts to be prepared!” 

“I guess so.” She relented, standing and grabbing their dirty dishes. 

After all the dishes were cleaned and hugs were shared, Veronica stretched and glanced at the clock which showed 10:45pm. “Man how’d it get so late so fast?” She mused and stroked Olive’s soft little head. “Hopefully a late dinner won’t give you any nightmares.” Her mother thought out loud and wrapped Veronica in another suffocating hug. “It was nice having dinner with you baby, I love you!” She smooched Ronnie on the cheek before pulling away and giving her a loving grin. “I had a good time, and the steaks were amazing. Thanks for having me over, I love you too!” She returned the kiss on the cheek and put her hand on the doorknob. As she stepped out her mother wished her luck on the warrant later, and then she was in her car once more. 

20 minutes later, V was brushing her teeth, staring at herself in the mirror wearing a simple black night dress that fell to her thighs and was fringed with lace at the bottom. Long day… who knows when that asshole Burke is gonna call me.’ She thought, spitting out the toothpaste and wiping her mouth with the back of her arm.  As she flopped into bed, the black sheets felt cold without Olive’s presence, but she felt it was for the best. It was 11:11pm as she glanced at the clock. “Make a wish…” She murmured while her eyes shut, the feeling of a full stomach lulling her to sleep. 

A blaring ringing tore through the dark silence in Veronica’s bedroom. It was her phone, blasing her generic android ringtone. Her eyes snapped open and she grasped for her phone, having to blink the bleariness away before seeing that it was Hudson calling her. She looked at the clock for the second time that night to see only two hours had passed, making it around 1am. She slid the green answer icon across the screen and answered, her voice thick with annoyance, “Hello?” Instead of Joey’s pleasant voice, she was met with Marshal Cameron Burke’s gruff one, “Rook, get your ass up and get dressed. We’re executing this warrant now.” 

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Yeah, time to arrest that asshole Joseph Seed.” Burke practically shouted, and then Veronica was met with a dial tone. She scoffed, pulling the phone from her ear to look at it and see only her lock screen, a photo of Olive in a taco costume. “Guess I’m getting ready.” She grumbled and turned on the lamp sitting on her nightstand. The light flooded every corner of the room, forcing V to squint as she flipped the covers off and walked over to a chair in the corner of the room that was covered with clothes and blankets. She snatched her green work button up before finding a tank top and some jeans. On top of her dresser, she eyed her jewelry box and plucked out a rose gold heart-shaped locket with a matching chain. It was engraved ‘To Veronica, Love nana’ Once she was dressed, she buckled her utility belt and hurried down the stairs to the front door. 

Something forced her to stop and take a look at the open plan townhome. All was calm and nothing stirred in the living room, yet she felt eerie as she left. Almost like she was abandoning her castle. She shook her head, shaking the thought off and stepping through the door to lock it. As she was walking to the car she pulled out her wallet from her back pocket, it was a replica of the one used in Pulp Fiction that said ‘BAD MOTHERFUCKER’ on the side. She opened the zippered secret pocket, pulling out a faded scrap of paper. On it was written ‘Good luck on your first day! -Mom’. She’d slipped her that on her first day at the sheriff’s department. At the time, V had laughed and said “I’m not a kid!” But stowed it away nonetheless as a good luck charm. A sudden, bone-chilling breeze whipped across the land, forcing a shiver to wrack her body. Veronica stepped into her car, feeling like this was going to be a long night. 

The deputy’s hands clenched the steering wheel- frustration written all over her features. She’d already been to the station only to get redirected to some field by Nancy, who was the only one not joining this adventure. Apparently the sheriff had asked her to come in and man the scanner, just in case things got out of hand and they needed to call reinforcements. Ronnie shook her head as she saw Hudson, Whitehorse, Pratt, and Burke standing in front of a matte black helicopter that had a badge on the side. Upon walking up to join them, Veronica called “Well this is fancy!” Staci stepped up next to the marshal, exclaiming “Yeah, the feds decided to help us out on this one!” He clapped Burke on the shoulder- earning him a heated glare. “Anyways… everyone pile in. Hudson, you’re flying us.” The grumpy man got to the point, motioning everyone into the copter. 

In no time they were in the air, flying to Joseph’s Compound on an island in the middle of Hope County. Veronica looked at the screen of the gps in the front, searching for the time. She found that it was 2:37am, and asked “So what exactly is the benefit of going to get him so late?” Cameron replied- his voice dripping with unearned confidence “The benefit, Rook, is catching him by surprise.” As Ronnie was about to speak up, Pratt cut in with, “You don’t catch men like Joseph Seed off guard.” 

At that moment Joey spoke up, “Crossing the Henbane now.” Everyone looked out of the wide windows, only to catch sight of a perfect rendition of Joseph Seed’s face captured forever in stone in way of a towering monolith. “Crazy motherfucker…” Burke murmured, his gaze held by the monument. “Jesus Christ.. we’re officially in peggie country.” Hudson shook her head before looking back to the skies. “You know, they call this Angel’s Peak. It’s a holy place for them.” Pratt said, sounding almost wistful.

“How much longer?” Cameron asked. 

“Just long enough for you to change your mind so we can turn this bird around.” Whitehorse insisted. “You want me to ignore a federal warrant, sheriff?” Burke scoffed.

“No sir, I want you to understand the reality of this situation. Joseph Seed… he’s not a man to be fucked with. We’ve had a few run ins with him before and it hasn’t always gone our way. Sometimes.. sometimes it’s better to just leave well enough alone.” 

Burke scoffed, lifting up the warrant. “Yeah, well we have laws for a reason; and Joseph Seed’s gonna learn that.” Instead of replying to that, the sheriff radioed Nancy to make sure she was still there, and told her that if she didn’t hear from them in 15 minutes to call backup. V looked down and saw a white church surrounded by other smaller buildings, she was mystified. The whole situation didn’t even seem real. ‘Maybe it’s just because it’s late and I haven’t gotten any good rest lately.’ She thought, trying to comfort herself. Somehow it didn’t help. 

“So what’s with calling them ‘peggies’? I’ve never heard anyone at the station call them that.” Veronica asked, hoping to lighten the mood. “Project Eden’s Gate. P. E. G. It’s what the locals call them.” Earl explained. Somehow she knew he was trying to distract himself as well. 

As they got closer, it was obvious there were people everywhere. “So much for taking him by surprise.” She muttered, shaking her head and thinking ‘I could be asleep right now.’ The helicopter jerked slightly as it landed on the ground, the blades whirling to a stop. All of them exited the bird, taking in their surroundings. Peggies surrounded them on all sides and the compound had as many as 12 buildings; dorms, a barn, and various other houses. The cult members regarded them suspiciously, casting daggers their ways and muttering insults. Ronnie looked to her left as they walked down the main path, there was a man wielding a flamethrower and keeping a pire of fire sufficiently lit. “They don’t fuck around…” V commented, her brow furrowed. 

The group made their way into a fenced corridor topped with an arch that said ‘Church of Eden’s Gate’ with the cross adorning the center. As they walked, a creaking then metal clanging could be heard behind them, causing Veronica to whip around only to witness them closing the gate behind them. “Why are they closing the gate?” Joey asked, looking to her partners for answers but receiving nothing. They approached the door to the church and could hear a choir of members singing a hymn as Whitehorse motioned for them to hold up. “Going in there, we do this my way, quietly.” He said sternly, mainly for Burke’s benefit. Cameron smirked and put a hand on Earl’s shoulder, “Relax sheriff. You’re about to get your name in the papers.” Veronica couldn’t help but shake her head, something was wrong here. 

As the white double doors swung inward, V took in the scene and was enthralled. Joseph was standing at the front of the church delivering a sermon, “Something is coming… you can feel it can’t you? We are creeping towards the edge, and there will be a reckoning. Because we know what happens next; they will come for us… to take from us. Take our guns, take our freedom, take our faith. We will not let them!” The church patrons were captured by his presence, hanging on every word. 

The deputy, marshal, and sheriff made their way to the platform Joseph stood on. White candles surrounded him, casting a holy glow on his features. “We will not let their greed, their morality, or their depravity hurt us anymore!” The preacher’s voice grew as Marshal Burke reached him and held the paper warrant aloft. Whitehorse murmured “Goddammit…” and Cameron said forcefully “Joseph Seed, we have here a warrant for your arrest, under suspicion of kidnapping with intent to harm. I’m gonna need you to step down with your hands where I can see them, and come with us.” Veronica noticed three figures she hadn’t seen practically melting out of the shadows to stand behind The Father.

“Here they are, the locusts in our garden. They’ve come to take me from you, to destroy all we’ve built!” The peggies started to converge around Joseph, their voices joining together as they objected. He parted through them, his calm demeanor quieting their shouts. “We knew they would come. This is what we’ve prepared for. Go…” He sent them off and came to stand in front of the pews, raising his hands up. “I saw the lamb of the first seal and I heard the noise as if of thunder as one of four beasts sang ‘Come, see’-”

Cameron cut him off, “Step forward!” Joseph stepped closer- undertered from preaching, “And I saw and behold, it was a white horse... and Hell followed with him.” He finished while looking from Earl to Ronnie and finally holding out his hands, a worn brown rosary dangled from his wrist. “Rook, cuff this son of a bitch.” Burke growled. 

V stepped forward, about to pull out her cuffs when the people behind him caught her eye once more. She recognised them to be his family. From right to left; there was a gruff looking man with scar tissue climbing up his side, next to him a beautiful young woman wearing no shoes and a lacey, floral dress. Veronica’s gaze lingered on her a moment before she took in the last figure- a tall man wearing an expensive looking duster. His piercing stare found hers and she felt as though he was seeing straight into her soul. Ice filled her veins and she froze in place, suddenly feeling like a gazelle who had just realised the lion was upon her but only when it was already too late. There was so much animosity in the man’s eyes, like he hated her for even thinking of taking his brother. 

“Earth to Veronica.” Burke’s annoyed voice snapped her from the trance she was in, causing her to shiver before finally producing the cuffs. The metal clinked around Joseph’s small wrists, and right as she was about to secure the second ring, he turned his hand to grip her wrist tightly and V looked into his eyes. “God will not let you take me.” He said calmly without an ounce of doubt. “Good thing God doesn’t get to decide in the end.” She retorted before shaking off his hand and slapping the final cuff on with a resounding click.  

As they walked out the church doors with Joseph in cuffs, armed peggies started to surround them. “Back up!” Hudson yelled, taking lead. Burke pushed a woman down when she got too close, and the crowd became more riled up, closing in as they walked to the helicopter. Soon, they started throwing rocks at the group and screaming, trying to defend their Father. The whole time Joseph stayed eerily silent, even as they were getting into the copter. Pratt fired off a few warning shots to the cultists that were trying to mob the vehicle, Veronica and Burke pushed a few of them from the copter as they gained height, yet the peggies continued trying to swarm them.

One of the cultists did something, because the helicopter went into a tailspin, and the engine sputtered. Joseph looked skyward and began singing Amazing Grace, his tone calm despite the chaos. They made impact with a tree, then another and everyone but Joseph was screaming, their lives flashing before their eyes. Upon impact, the whole world cut out and everything was black.

Veronica’s eyes opened, and the world spun in streamers of color. Nancy’s frantic voice could be heard over the ringing in her ears, she was yelling into the helicopter’s headphones. She looked around and saw Burke across from her, dangling by his seatbelt, Earl was next to him, doubled over; and Joey was to her right. She tried to take in a deep breath and sputtered on thick smoke that was no doubt coming from the engine. Before V could swing forward and grab the headset to alert Nancy, she was pushed lightly back into her seat by a battered Joseph Seed. He smiled at her softly, grabbing the headset on his own while maintaining eye contact. “I told you that God wouldn’t let you take me…” He murmured soothingly. “We’ll see about that…” Veronica persisted. He shook his head and spoke into the headset mic, “Dispatch? Everything is just fine here. Call no one.” Veronica scoffed, ‘Surely Nancy will know something is wrong-’ The thought began to cross her mind before she heard her last hope’s response: “Yes, Father. Praise be to you.” Her mouth dropped open in shock and horror, watching the man she came to apprehend smirk before whispering “No one is coming to save you.” 

He climbed from the wreckage and met a handful of his flock, reassuring them in a hushed tone. V started to struggle against her seatbelt, which was stuck fast. “Fuck, fuck, fuck..” She muttered and beat at the clip. Her companions began to wake and she turned to see Joseph standing on the hood of a car, his hands raised as he delivered an impromptu sermon, “The first seal is broken… now we must take what we need, for this world will be no more. We must stop all those that stand in our way- including these harbingers of doom. Begin the reaping!” He screamed the last sentence into the night air, his followers cheering. 

They swarmed the copter for the second time that night, Veronica, Joey, and the others squirmed trying to get free. Hudson freed herself finally, only to be savagely pulled from the wreckage kicking and screaming. “Joey!” Veronica yelled, reaching after her only to just miss her hand. More peggies ran over and were about to reach in, when a ring of flames surrounded them instead. “Fuck!” V exclaimed, pulling frantically at her seatbelt. Burke was able to free himself and dash out of the small opening in the wall of fire. Heat was searing her skin and desperation made her claw at the restraint harder and harder, finally the belt snapped and she tumbled forward to what used to be the roof of the vehicle. Ronnie caught herself just barely and found herself sprinting away into the foreboding woods. 

Branches whipped at her face, scratching her cheeks and forcing her to hold her hands out in front of her. Not far behind, the men who hunted her yelled, “She’s escaping! Grab her!” Emotions overwhelmed her; panic, fear, anger, confusion. “Goddammit give me a break!” She huffed, breath ragged from sprinting. She spotted a soft light in the distance, a campfire. V ducked behind a thick tree trunk- whipping her head around in both directions wildly, adrenaline and fear coursing through her. The angry voices were distant enough for her to turn and survey the campsite. 

There were two lawn chairs on either side of the fire, and a cabin beyond that. One of the cultists patrolled the perimeter, both hands on his handgun. She caught sight of a sizable branch in front of the fire, and knew what she had to do. Ronnie crept forward on the balls of her feet, trying to avoid any stray twigs as she made her way to the branch. Finally she was there, taking the worn wood in her hands and feeling the weight of it. ‘This should do..’ She thought with a grim look. The deputy continued forward, waiting for just the right moment to slip behind the guard. Veronica gripped the bat harder and was about to swing when the guard turned around, surprise on his features. She wasted no time slamming the branch down on his head with a crack as he turned his gun towards her. The first blow slowed him- and for good measure she delivered the finishing blow. Through the branch, she could feel his skull give and an initial spray of blood shot from the wound, flecking V’s face in red freckles. She gasped and looked down to see his body twitch twice more before stilling, his heart steadily pumping out his life force.

Veronica felt cold as she watched the light drain from his eyes, shock starting to take over. She’d never actually killed anyone before. The world faded back piece by piece as she grabbed the man’s gun, and more screams came from the woods. She had to keep moving. A small drop off into the woods was her escape, and she crouched in the ferns on the woodland floor. There was another fire in the distance, and her enemies were scouring the area for her and Burke. 

Suddenly- her radio crackled, causing her to jump and grab it from her belt to muffle the speaker. “Hello? Hello.. it’s Burke… I think I lost them.. I see a trailer ahead across a bridge and I’m going to try to get inside. If anyone is still alive, if anyone is out there...” The signal was lost and it cut out. “Well I guess that’s where I’m going.” V sighed, and started slowly making her way through the woods. She passed the second fire, narrowly avoiding detection by two guards standing there. From there, she ascended a small hill that led to the bridge the marshal had mentioned. It creaked as she took to the wooden planks, practically crawling her way to the other end. When she got there, a white trailer with a green roof stoof in front of her. There were steps leading up to the back door which she pushed open cautiously, eyes darting side to side straining to catch any movement in the darkened abode. 

As soon as she cleared the door Burke was to her left, hands out and ready to attack. Veronica grabbed his arms, stopping him in midair before he regonised her. “Oh my god, Rook… you’re alive!” He cried with relief. “Yeah, no thanks to you, asshole. You left me to die back there!” She scoffed, glaring daggers at him. “I… It was just fight or flight, I was-” He struggled to defend himself.

“It doesn’t matter. Whitehorse told you this was a bad idea, this is your fault no matter what you have to say.” Ronnie cut him off, pointing an accusatory finger at him. When he had no retort she continued, “Now we have to find a way out of this shit show, and to rescue the others. Did you have a plan?” Burke sighed, walking further into the trailer, motioning for her to follow. The walls were wood panelled, and words were scratched into most of the walls; ‘The Father’, ‘Walk the path’, along with other mantras and bible verses. Pictures were also posted all over the spots that had no words. They all depicted the members of the Seed family in various poses and situations. One such picture was a framed portrait of all of them, Cameron grabbed this and stared into their eyes. He looked haunted. 

“The plan is to put all of these fuckers in jail. No matter what it takes.” He gathered himself before tossing it on the table and going to point out of one of the front windows. “To get out of here, I was thinking I could try to hotwire that truck, unless the keys are in it. It’s probably only a couple hours back to Missoula, then we’re gonna come back here with the National fucking Guard, and take care of these lunatics.” 

“Fine, let’s just get out of here before-” Veronica was cut off by a shot ringing out, and one of the windows behind her shattering into a spray of glass. “They’re in there!” Screamed a man, and more shots were fired at the trailer. “These guys just don’t give up!” She exclaimed, exasperated. Burke took shelter against one of the walls, pulling out his gun to fend off the attackers. V scanned the room and found a gun mounted on the wall, she grabbed it and cocked it before crouching under the shattered window, sitting up to aim outside. There were four peggies firing at them. She took aim at the first, shooting him square in the chest and knocking him to the ground. Burke took out one on the other side then turned to say “Cover me! I’m gonna go get that truck started!” Veronica nodded curtly before turning to shoot out the window twice more. 

Even more cultists were arriving at the scene and taking up arms, it seemed almost hopeless. V fired shot after shot, taking out as many as she could until she finally heard the sweet roar of an engine, and Cameron shouted for her to join him in the truck. “Finally, fuck!” She gasped, dashing from the trailer and ripping open the door to the vehicle. “Let’s fucking go!” He yelled while she slammed the door and immediately leaned out of the window to shoot at the peggies behind them. Burke careened down the simple dirt road, Veronica shooting at their enemies as they approached a chain link fence and busted through the gate with no problem, then they were crossing a bridge to the main road. 

Burke was gasping, close to panic, while V just felt numb. ‘Shock must be setting in, great.’ She thought distantly. “God, I had no idea Rook. I didn’t know how bad it was, how right Whitehorse was… I wish we’d never served that warrant.” He rambled, glancing between the deputy and the road. “It’s too late for wishes, Burke… they’ve got the road blocked!” She exclaimed at the sight before her; peggies had their trucks and sawhorses blocking off the next section of street. She lifted her gun once more, shooting at them while Cameron swerved wildly to avoid the obstacles. One of the cultists to their right set off a flare, letting the rest of them know where they were. 

The pair crashed through another barricade, and Ronnie kept shooting at the people pursuing them that were in an identical looking truck. “We aren’t losing them marshal!” She shouted. “Alright, I guess we gotta try something else.” He huffed before taking the truck off road, almost going airborne as they crashed through a wooden fence. Blinding headlights were blazing behind them as more and more peggies joined the chase. Veronica happened to glance in the bed, and spotted some red sticks. “Oh fuck yeah.” She chuckled, reaching out of the window and grabbing a stick before producing her simple purple lighter that had miraculously stayed in her pocket. She lit the fuse on the dynamite, squinting her eyes as the cord came to life and the flame hissed. V chucked it at one of the trucks behind them, causing a loud boom and fire bloomed from the wreckage. “Shit! That’s pretty satisfying.” She commented, turning to Burke who still looked too scared to be impressed. 

After lighting a couple more sticks and tossing them out, causing some major chaos, they found themselves about to go under an overpass. Right before they passed underneath, a sleek white plane flew out of the clouds and began shooting at them, hitting some green crates on the side of the road only for them to explode. Keying into this as they finally passed under the bridge, she fired quickly at the crates scattered around an upcoming roadblock, sending people flying in every direction. “A plane, are you kidding me?” Burke yelled and pounded a fist against the wheel.

A gargantuan bridge waited on the other side of the roadblock, there was a sign mounted near the top that read ‘Henbane River Bridge’. As they raced across, Cameron took a deep breath before saying “Home free, after this we are home free!” Veronica wasn’t so sure as more planes swooped overhead, and suddenly a high-pitched whistling could be heard getting closer and closer, before V yelled “Bomb!!” and orange flames whooshed across the bridge, enveloping their truck and sending them tumbling into the river below. 

The vehicle was in a freefall with chunks of concrete, the river’s waters rushing up to meet them. Neither of them had time to say anything before they made impact. Veronica was incapacitated for a moment and when her eyes opened they were underwater, trapped once again. She saw Burke across from her pounding on the window, shattering it on his third try and swimming up to the top, leaving her to drown. Ronnie gathered together her last bits of energy, slamming her elbow into the passenger side window until it finally broke, and she maneuvered her way from the descending car. Her arms flailed as her lungs screamed, daring her to take a breath before breaching the surface, and then it went black. 

Not too long later, her eyes snapped open and she grasped at the wet silt underneath her, she was on the shore. On the bridge there were countless flashlights casted down upon the water, looking for her. She heard Marshal Burke yelling off in the distance, and saw a group of peggies pulling him away as he shouted “I am a federal marshal! You can’t do this!” Veronica tried to get the will to get up and run, knowing she was next; but her muscles screamed with exhaustion and wouldn’t cooperate. She was able to lift herself to crawl maybe a foot before collapsing once more, staring up at the sky and trying to accept that this was the end. 

A figure came into her field of vision and the barrel of a shotgun was dangerously close to her head, she didn’t even have the energy to protest as the person lifted her over their shoulder with a grunt, and began carrying her through the woods. Her vision faded in and out, allowing her to see them pass by a radio tower and then a cabin, only to walk down some metal stairs. Then she could fight no more; and everything went black. 

[plastic-lamb]

[7:48]

tw for drug use

The quiet hum of the ceiling fan melded beautifully with the song playing on his bluetooth speaker and the muffled sounds of the water falling in the shower to create a comforting white noise that would have put you to sleep-- if not for the orange sunlight blaring right on your face.

You threw an arm over your eyes and let out a content sigh. Warm and comfortable, you couldn’t quite tell if you weren’t already asleep; if all this wasn’t just a dream.

“I was only in the shower for ten minutes, don’t tell me you already fell asleep,” you were pulled from your own mind by Jaehyun’s soft voice, matched with an equally soft smile that you caught a glimpse of when you moved your arm.

“I wasn’t asleep! Just resting,” you sat up as he crawled into bed next to you, careful not to disturb the cat nestled against your legs. 

“Yeah right, I could hear your snoring from the bathroom,” he teased. Avoiding your pillow assault as best he could, Jaehyun reached across you and grabbed the joint and lighter from your bedside table. “Be careful, if you mess it up you have to reroll it,” he warned in between chuckles. Huffing in defeat, you leaned back against the wall and watched him as he lit the paper and took a drag.

“I don’t get why you smoke after you shower, you just stink up your hair again,” you said, taking the lit joint from him when he offered it. He just shrugged in response. The two of you sat in silence for a little while, petting the cat and watching the sun set as you waited for your high to kick in. Jaehyun’s hit first as you noticed him close his eyes and absent-mindedly sing along to the song playing over the speaker.

“Who’s sleeping now?” You teased, nudging his arm. He sighed and looked up at you, his deep brown eyes a beautiful honey shade as the sunlight hit them.

“Nah, if I was dreaming then you’d stop bugging me,” he drew out the last few words, enjoying the way you playfully hit his arm and chest in retaliation. Teasing and laughter filled your room for a while as dusk slowly turned to night and the quiet streets below your window buzzed again with nightlife. Your cat, bothered by its parents play fighting, ran off to sit on your windowsill and mope. 

“Do you wanna finish this?” Jaehyun asked, holding up the half-used joint to the moonlight. You pondered for a moment, propping yourself up on an elbow and cocking your head to the side. After a second or two of thinking, you shook your head.

“Let’s save it for morning.” Jaehyun agreed and set it down on the table. He turned back to face you and his heart jumped in his throat when he caught you trying hard to hide a yawn. Inebriated and overwhelmed with love, he leaned up and kissed you softly on the lips. It was a sweet, innocent kiss, a silent ‘I love you, sleep well, dream of me.’ It caught you by surprise, he wasn’t usually so affectionate, at least he didn’t really initiate often. You figured the romantic setting and the weed got to him and shrugged it off, appreciating it either way. 

You couldn’t remember when the two of you actually ended up falling asleep. Long after the playlist ended and left you in silence you were still up talking to each other about everything and nothing. One moment you were chatting about how cost effective it would be to bake your own bread, the next you were woken by your alarm in the morning, the first thing you saw was his peaceful sleeping face right next to you. 

[poison-rat]

Tattoo Flowers Snippet 3

This has been a long time coming but I finally wrote more! As the other two parts say, these are in no particular order. I may go back and edit those as well so I may repost those tonight. Hopefully I'll continue to feel inspired to write this!

Snippet 1 & Snippet 2

♡♡♡

Dan sat in his shop at the end of the day, finishing up a design. He was planning a charity day where he would do simple tattoos for $7 and donate the money to a local charity. He did it twice a year but he liked to switch up the designs every time for a new theme. This one was flowers. Not for any reason. And definitely not for his new neighbor. He pushed the thoughts from his head and continued his steady lining.

A customer came in for a touch up and another came in for a simple bee tattoo with her girlfriend. He made sure they were satisfied and handed over the care kit and began to run through the process of healing for her.

He smiled softly as the girlfriend said she knew how this worked and would take good care of her. "Alright. Looks like you're in good hands. Let's get you paid out then."

He brought them to the register. The girl with the bee tipped very well and thanked him and even said she may be back for more. Dan watched the two leave, hands intertwined. He couldn't quite explain why his heart gave a small leap at the sight of two people in love.

He yawned and checked his phone for the time. It was already late and he figured closing up shop ten minutes early wouldn't hurt. He put the charity design papers into a file and stretched on his way to the door.

As the bolt clicked into place, a hand smacked the glass and made Dan jump two feet back. "Shit!!" He moved back to it and looked out.

The hand's owner, Arin, stepped into view, panting and trying to talk. "Sorry! Sorry!" He gestured to the door and made a twisting motion, silently asking Dan to unlock the door.

The artist undid the lock and let him in. "What the hell, man? You could've just come and knocked on my door later if you wanted to talk." He went to his fridge and grabbed a water to give him.

"Yeah, but... uh..." Arin trailed off. Obviously, that had not occurred to him. Dan chuckled at the pure confusion on his face. "Shut up."

"Oh, no, this is gold. You forgot we were neighbors?" Dan moved to lock the door again and started to clean up.

"I'm sorry! I got all confused and lost track of time and flustered!" Arin huffed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I did come down here to ask you if you wanted to come over but now I take it back!"

Dan's hand froze on the cup of ink he'd been using during a brainstorm session. "Ask me over?" He turned to Arin, who looked a little more flustered and pink in the cheeks than the running from his apartment would account for. "What for?"

The florist shrugged. "I dunno. We've been neighbors a week. I figured we could get to know one another." He smiled lightly towards Dan. "It's not gay. It's just some neighbors making sure that when one of us throws a wild house party, the other won't be as mad as they could be."

"You've obviously put some thought into this." Dan dumped the cup and began rinsing them. He turned and saw Arin picking up some papers and stacking them. "Oh, you don't have to do that."

"It's fine, man. Repaying the favor for you helping me set up shop." He smiled as he tossed the balled up wads into the trash.

Dan nodded with a weird haze in his mind. Arin wanted to have dinner with him, he was helping him clean up, he ran from his apartment just to catch him?

"So? How's about it?"

"Huh?" The man blinked and looked over at the man speaking. Arin was now closer, holding some other dishes Dan had overlooked. "What?"

"Dinner at my place? The whole reason I came down here?" Arin wiggled his eyebrows, making Dan laugh slightly.

He thought for a moment then shrugged. "Yeah. Sure. It sounds better than reheated chicken fingies." He took the dishes, careful to avoid getting Arin's hands wet.

The florist looked confused again before breaking into a grin. "Fingies? Are you serious?"

"Yeah! Chicken fingies!" Dan grinned, "They're my favorite. I've called them fingies for years, man. My mom gets a kick out of it every time I go see her and she gets some for me."

Arin laughed. "It is cute. Just didn't expect that out of you."

Dan nodded. "Yep. I'm a bit of a kid at heart."

"It's cute."

They finished cleaning up in relative silence. Dan made sure the signs were off, locked up, and followed him to his apartment.

The apartment was a bit bigger than Dan's, but looked crowded with assorted art and various video game memorabilia on the walls and plants on tables and shelves and hanging all over. It was definitely much cleaner than Dan's and had that lingering smell of spring instead of weed and coffee. And a bit of lasagna, as he noticed Arin going to check the oven.

"Oh, shoes off please. You can leave them by the door."

Dan nodded and looked to the side and saw a few pegs with jackets and various pairs of shoes tossed haphazardly underneath. He toed off his sneakers and went into the living room. A plush white couch sat in the middle in front of a TV. A grey and white fluffy cat was rolling around on said couch, scratching their back. Dan gently reached down and rubbed the cat's belly. The cat responded with freezing then relaxing because it was being pet.

"That's Mimi. She's lazy." Arin came out of the kitchen and smiled at the kitten, who went from Dan's hand to rub against Arin's leg. "Glad she didn't scratch or something. She has a tendency not to let go."

"Yeah. That would suck." Dan looked to Arin, slightly shy. Arin must have detected it and waved him to sit down. "So lasagna for dinner?"

"Yeah. It's still got a good ten minutes. My oven is kinda shitty and it's still frozen in the middle." He grabbed a remote and hummed. "Do you like Mario?"

"Uh. Yeah. It's been a while since I've played but I could pick it up easy." Dan watched as Arin went to change the game in the system. He'd never seen that system before but then again he hadn't played many games past Game/Cube. "What are we playing?" He looked away as Arin bent at the waist, both out of modesty to not stare at his ass and to just not stare at his ass in general.

"Super Ma/rio Bros. I don't have many two player games." Arin grabbed two controllers and turned to hand one over. "Here."

Dan took the controller gently and let Arin get them into the game. Arin explained the controls and they were quickly on their way. It took Dan a moment to get used to a controller again with his thumbs but after that he was having tons of fun.

They got so into the game and riffing off one another and telling stories that neither remembered dinner until there was a burning smell wafting through the apartment. "Oh, shit-" Arin leapt up, Dan hit pause, and they rushed to the kitchen. Black smoke billowed out as the door was opened and both stared at the charred block of pasta.

"I don't think it's frozen in the middle anymore." Dan slipped the oven mitts on and pulled it out to drop it into the stovetop.

"Damn. I completely forgot. That sucks." Arin poked at it with a butter knife.

"That's okay. We could always order takeout. I know a good place for Thai." Arin nodded, a bit of a disappointed look on his face. Dan patted his back, "It's alright, man. It happens. I can't tell you how many times I forget popcorn or some shit cause I'm busy. Now come on, let's order Thai."

Dan pulled up the website and they searched the menu for a bit before he called the order in. They resumed the game until the food arrived, then they turned it off for the time being and turned on some old monster movie Dan suggested.

Stories continued to pass between the two as well as bits of food as Arin was unaccustomed to it and wanted to try everything. Dan obliged, happy to see Arin enjoyed the food and wasn't still hung up on burning dinner. It wasn't an hour later that Dan was yawning and his eyes began to grow heavy. Arin noticed and patted his arm. "Hey. You should probably get headed home. Get you some sleep."

"Nah. I'm having fun here." Dan yawned again, nullifying his point. Arin poked and prodded him as he wiggled off the couch. "Alright. I'll head out. We should do this again sometime." Dan started for the door, grabbing his shoes. "Weekly thing or something."

Arin smiled and Dan copied it unconsciously from the sheer joy behind it. "I'd like that. Now go home before you fall asleep on your feet." He pushed him gently out the door and watched to make sure he got inside okay.

Dan dropped his shoes to the floor and keys onto the side table. As he collapsed into bed, he was already beginning to dream of a certain florist in a Ma/rio outfit.