#I just realized that its gone from my blogs list

[yumeshiproleplay]

Deleting this in a little while

So I just realized I cant see the account messages, so if someone can message the account so I can see if they pop back up I would appreciate it! (if I dont respond within 10 minutes, just tell me you messaged it in the comments of this post)

[coldsaturn]

Bookrecs 2024

Ok I received an ask requesting bookrecs, and I realized I haven't added anything in years to this blog. Truly tragic.

The thing is, the past few years have been hellish enough that my reading habits changed from "hunger for literature" to "desperate coping before sleeping". So we're talking about a lot of Jikook fics and gorgeous videogames (which I tend to equate to books and movies etc. in terms of ability to deliver a compelling narrative), but not that many books, let alone the indie ones I used to hunt for fun.

But. That doesn't mean I am empty-handed, so here a few titles that still hadn't turned up in my tag. I'll add a TW next to the titles that IMO contain sensitive topics (I don't differentiate between positive/neutral/negative depiction), so mind where you walk.

Contemporary

Circe

I am a sucker for Greek mythology always and forever, so this didn't have to try that hard to be a win, but I was still left pleasantly surprised. It wasn't earth-shattering or anything, but I really appreciated the character-driven slow pace of it, the way we follow a woman finding herself and then discovering others through herself. One doesn't need to know about the mythological events we encounter to still follow along with the journey, but if you catch all the references, the POV is a nice twist. The end-game pairing is also the sweetest <3 Just good vibes all around.

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things TW

Intro: Back when the anti-shipping wave truly hit social media and equating fiction with reality became the norm, I started making a list out of spite. Every time some random fan on tumblr.com screamed against another fan because their fanfiction or ship would bring the end of our society, I added one more title to the list. It's published books they wouldn't be able to fathom they exist, so utterly convinced they are that the only way to deal with problematic fiction is by writing on ao3 and then being cancelled for it.

All the ugly and wonderful things is an incredible journey. I deeply respect books that challenge the reader into stepping out of their comfort zone, and this one demands to see the greys, asks you to sit with your discomfort and shut the hell up if you want to keep on reading. Many didn't. It's one of those stories where people give 1 star and DNF not because of how it's written, but because of what is written. If you stick to the end, you're rewarded with a story of humans being humans, in all their ugly and wonderful sides.

Flowers in the Attic (the entire Dollanganger series actually) TW

Another title on the list. This one is a Classic for older generations as it was a school read for many. Back when school reads were fun, apparently. You keep on reading, book after book, not exactly because of its writing style, but because it's a delightful trainwreck, and you just keep on sticking around to see where the characters end up after that absurd (and amazing) premise. If "this might as well happen" was a book.

The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle

This was just a genius idea. Full on "I hate I didn't think of this first" I don't have many books where the very opening line forces me to stop and stare at it for 20 minutes because of how brilliant it is writing-wise, and how successfully it immediately sets the tone for what you're about to read.

"I forget everything between footsteps."

I assure you in Italian it somehow manages to sound even better. They did a fantastic job with the translation. This was such a fun read I took two whole weeks to finish it, even though I really could have done it in 2-3 days. But I liked what I was reading so much that I deliberately slowed down, savoring every word. What a fun experience.

Only downside: I didn't like the ending, it wasn't where I would have gone with it. Still, incredible job, double thumb up.

Classics

The Age of Innocence

I wasn't really expecting this, but I was vibing so much. I was sending screenshots to friends screaming about how scandalous our pompous, self-important protagonist was acting in certain parts. Like fellas is it proper to touch the naked wrist of the woman you have a crush on, when you're all in theater and your fiancée is sitting a few feet away? Things like that. Absolutely delightful. If not for the ending where I was screaming because of course it's 1921, what was I expecting.

Les Liaisons dangereuses TW

Well I can't defend Age of Innocence at all because this was 1782 and it delivered so hard. Really this book had no business being this fun. I read it because of a book club here in my city I join every now and then, and I had sectioned the amount of pages I needed to read daily to arrive at the date of the meeting with a finished book. I ended up reading it in less than 2 days. I could not put it down. I strongly suggest finding a good translation because with classics (especially ones not in your mother tongue), translations will make or break the book for you. I looked around reviews and blogs before I selected the Italian translation that I knew would match my vibe, and oh my god. I was giggling and gasping and "no way!!!!"ing my way through the entire thing. Instant fav.

Jane Eyre

This one I had already read when I was a teenager, but decided to give it a fresh, more adult spin on it by rereading it after a careful dive. I rediscovered the pleasure of studying what gets a book to be created in the mind of the author and its place in the literary trends of its time, as much as getting to know its story. The more I grow, the more I find out that no, mum, it wasn't just a phase, I'm really a sucker for everything gothic.

The turn of the screw

Another classic that I had already read and studied in high school, but that I decided to rediscover through a more mature lens. I decided to follow the advice of the Hardcore Literature book club about reading it in the original installment order and pacing, and it absolutely paid off. This was already a story that I loved because hello - horror and goth and psychological damage and if you take a certain way to read the events you'd need to add a TW to the title, and it was really beautiful to discover how I could still make it new and dive deeper into it by simply changing how I approached the text as a reader.

Self-publish

Underland

Have you ever played Bloodborne and hoped you could find a book that gives you the same lovecraftian gothic vibes? Well, look no further!

I have a love/hate relationship with RR and the dudebro high-brow stories in it, but occasionally I find something that catches my attention and also manages to keep it. Great worldbuilding, and a very nice ability to portray it by the author. Of course, being a serialized story on RR, sometimes it drags and/or indulges a bit too much in the vibes rather than in the actual juicy part of the story where things happen. Bloodborne sits undefeated in story and lore and everything in between, but this was still a nice experiment by the author.

As writing paradigm, we are diametrically opposite fanfictions. Which makes it a very interesting read even just because of that.

[totally-bogus-timelady]

Nice Uniform

A/N So this is just a little thing that I whacked out to try and get the metaphorical cogs turning. As usual I would love to hear what you guys think and reblogs are always appreciated! No smut in this one but my blog/work is always 18+.

“Nice uniform.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“What? I mean it, it’s a very nice uniform...” 

You snicker as Steve stands there, glaring at you, arms crossed in that perfect scolding mother stance of his.

“You know what, for that comment, you can walk to school tomorrow,” he sends a triumphant smirk your way as you scoff at him.

“Ugh, you are so bitchy Steve. What’s the matter? Those shorts getting your panties in a twist or something?” You continue to cackle as he throws his arms up, exasperated and turns to walk away in defeat. You jog to catch up with him as he makes his way through the mall.

Steve had stopped by the exercise class you’d just finished on his way to work, a cup of coffee for you in his hand and grimace plastered on his face as if preparing himself for your reaction to his appearance.

“Hey, Steve! Come on, I was just kidding.” 

Steve turns back to you and huffs, tongue poking the inside of his cheek in annoyance. His eyes look past yours, a faint blush tinging his cheeks pink before he then focuses on your face. You look him up and down with a small smile, all traces of teasing gone.

“It’s really not that bad,” you try to comfort him.

He scoffs and gives you a look as if to say ‘seriously.’ 

“Are you kidding me? I mean, come on! How am I supposed to find a girlfriend wearing this stupid thing,” he gestures down at his sailor shirt and tiny shorts that are somehow still flattering on him, accentuating his slim waist. Your eyes linger a little longer than you’d care to admit and you quickly flit your eyes back up before Steve catches you ogling. 

Your best friend is attractive, there’s no two ways about that, with his luscious, thick brown hair, his doe like hazel eyes and that beautifully dumbstruck expression where his lips part as he gawps, cluelessly. 

You’d always viewed Steve as nothing more than a friend but occasionally your mind would wander, like last week when you’d realized that your stare was directed at his ass, him in his tight blue jeans as he’d bent over to get something from the trunk of his car.

You’d drawn it up to sexual frustration. At the end of the day you were a woman with needs and Steve was quickly becoming more and more of an attractive man. 

Not that you would ever act on it. You were merely just indulging occasionally in a small fantasy or appreciating the lovely view he would often provide...

“Steve, trust me, you have nothing to worry about. Yeah, the outfits stupid! But if anyone could still make something as stupid as this look attractive, it would be you!” You shoot a genuine smile at him as his cocky little smirk slowly starts to return to his pretty face.

“You really think I have nothing to worry about?” He asks, still a little timid.

“Really,” Steve still looks at you skeptically. “Oh, what do you want, a list? Alright, the blue actually complements your eyes pretty well, its somehow a very slimming outfit and the shorts make your ass look great, okay!”

Steve smirks triumphantly at you.

“I knew it!” He points his finger at you, waggling it in your face accusingly, smug grin plastered across his own. You gaze at him, brows furrowed, confused expression taking over.

“I knew you were looking at my ass!” You took on a very convincing impression of a fish, your mouth opening and closing in disbelief. “Last week when I was getting those VHS tapes out of the car and a few days ago when you couldn’t reach that book in the store, so you got me to reach up and get it for you! And yesterday, when I leaned over the bonnet to fix my wiper blade... You’ve been looking at my ass!” Steve, his face filled with pure glee at having caught you out, crosses his arms and smirks.

You stammer, looking for some kind of coherent response. “I, I- no I haven’t been- Why would I be looking at your- I wasn't looking at your ass...”

“Oh come on! I’ve caught you, you were looking at it.”

Steve shuffles slightly closer to you and moves his hand up to brush a strand of your hair out of your face. You desperately willed your blush to go away before Steve found anything else to tease you about.

“It’s okay you know, I’d have a hard time concentrating if the package was this pretty too.”

“Oh shut up,” You shove at his shoulder. A small smile starts to make an appearance on your face and Steve laughs. “Stop using me to boost your ego Harrington. Alright, I will admit that on occasion I may have noticed your ass out of the corner of my eye and haven’t been completely disgusted by it, but that does not mean I have been gazing longingly at you. You’re still my weird best friend, who I once caught shaving his chest hair with my pink lady razor!”

Steve’s laughing comes to a sudden stop and his wicked grin falls.

“You promised me that we’d never speak of that again!”

“Well it’s your own fault for teasing me!”

“You were the one who was staring at my ass!”

“You’re the one who’s wearing the stupid sailor costume, with the tiny shorts!”

“Oh, they’re tiny shorts now are they? When did you notice that? When you were looking at my ass!”

“Okay, shut up!” You finally put a stop to the incessant bickering. “I’m calling a truce! I’ll stop talking about the pink lady razor and the stupid uniform if you stop talking about me occasionally looking at your ass.”

Steve looks at you skeptically, deciding whether to take your offer. 

“Okay, truce.”

“Okay,” You both start walking towards Steve’s new place of work, “So, you wanna tell me about your new job?”

Steve scratches the back of his neck. “Eh, it’s nothing special. Ice cream is ice cream at the end of the day.”

“Yeah, I guess so. But it’s good that you’re doing something for yoursel-”

“You know I look at yours too right?” Steve asks. You gawp at him confused.

“What?”

“Your ass... I sometimes look, y’know, when you're... I don’t know, but I do. What I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to feel weird about it ‘cause I do it too sometimes. So... yeah.”

You blush for what feels like the hundredth time that morning, absorbing the information Steve has just given you.

“Oh,” You let out rather pathetically and realize that you should probably follow it up with something more informative. “Yeah, no... that’s... yeah that’s normal right? I mean, we’re best friends and we spend a lot of time together so it’s... no big deal right? It doesn’t mean anything.”

Steve continues to look ahead of him, purposely not looking in your direction out of fear that he might embarrass himself further.

“Exactly, no big deal. It’s just something that people do.”

“Yeah.”

“Glad we cleared that up,” Steve looks at you now and you both let out a slightly awkward chuckle.

Steve’s cheeks glow with embarrassment, a timid smile lifting the corners of his lips and his eyes do that thing were they go all wide and glazy. You decide to break the tension.

“Hey, race you to Scoops?” A cheesy grin takes over your face as you nudge him in the ribs.

“Wha- Hey!” You shove him and take off running into the distance.

Steve chases after you and being the athlete that he is, eventually overtakes you. he looks back at you, still running and sends you a cheeky wink. You huff at his behavior and start to slow down.

In the few seconds that Steve wasn’t looking where he was going, he fails to see the musical horse ride in the middle of the mall. Steve runs straight into it and trips. He’s sprawled, quite pathetically, hanging over the ride. His ass is in the air, lean legs on display in his small, dark blue shorts. His face is completely obscured from view.

You slowly walk up to him, now trying to suppress your chuckling as you send a slap to his ass. 

“Guess I win either way then, huh Harrington. Well I’ve made my decision.”

A pathetic sounding “What?” comes from the other side of the horse. You walk round to the other side and crouch down so that you’re face to face with Steve. His hazel eyes gaze cluelessly into yours.

Brushing a bit of his mane out of his face you smile and say to him,

“The uniform’s not so bad.”

[paradise-in-k4]

The Gap in the Evening, Report Entry 0: “Retrospective in Retrograde”

The night was dark. But then again, the nights are always dark here. Darker than they were in the last month. But that didn’t stop us from trying to uncover the mystery behind the mega crater that was a thousand times the diameter of Lake Suwa. I had made the hypothesis that this was part of a rogue meteor shower that wiped a whole town and the surrounding mountains off the map, but that couldn’t have been more wrong. Using her ability to see the boundary between what I inferred at the time as past and present, Maribel had realized that the area was alive and well. The story we had heard about a meteor wiping out a whole prefecture and then some was a cover-up, and we had to see this through as we crossed the boundary.

What we had witnessed was beyond belief. We bore witness to a practically untouched Japanese civilization that could date back to feudal times while boasting limited technology that could match the 21st century’s technological advances. Perhaps this was the land that Maribel had talked about visiting so much in her dreams. Was this a discarded second satellite whose mission was to compensate the assumed total loss of the TORIFUNE? Or maybe a botched attempt to test anti-gravity theories with cutting-edge technologies?

Our musings were cut off by one of the residents who claimed to have built her house in the nearby forest, introducing herself as Marisa Kirisame. As genuine as she sounded, her attire just screamed “modern day witch” with her cone-shaped long-brimmed hat accompanied by a poofy dress adorned with ribbons accompanied by a matching broomstick and what I can only assume- from one tabletop gaming session- is a magic focus of her own design. She said that something was wrong with her friend- a shrine maiden whose charge protected this whole region- and one of the authority figures of the land, asking us to help her out with some research in a parallel world where her sealed land of fantasy hadn’t yet gone through an incident of this magnitude. Using a parasol that she had been given from the aforementioned authority figure, she opened a second rift similar in quality to the one that Maribel had found. After being given a list of names of people who were said to belong in both worlds, we stepped headlong through the boundary into a parallel world. One that many called Gensokyo.

-Renko Usami

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Hello and welcome to my general roleplay and writing blog that at first appears Touhou-centric, but some of it is essentially nonsensical ramblings based on some of my other fandom interests and creative works.

Here’s what you can expect from this blog:

Canon muse RP (which is basically all Touhou right now but that’ll change later)

Crossover opportunities for any and all multi/other/non-fandom muses of other RP blogs (I might be Touhou up front, but I know quite a bit about other fandoms)

OC lore/RP

Long lore writing, often with intricate text

Open-Ended Hifuu Logic (The adventures of Renko and Maribel are central to my background blog lore)

An original AU that I call Universe K4 (refer to Touhou Lost Word’s universe coding to understand how I came up with this concept, as well as how universe denominations work with my muses)

Choose Your Own Adventure stories

Ramblings and news about the Touhou Lost Word mobile gacha game (and a few others too)

An original magical girl story that uses Puella Magi Madoka Magica and its characters as an inspirational springboard

A few magical girl ramblings here and there

Feel free to send an ask, tag me for an interaction, or just let me know what your RP blogs are. I’ve only been here a few months and I’m open to new partners, so come on over if you wanna chat. Don’t worry, I don’t bite :)

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Active Blog Events:

Hakurei’s Basement Sick Ward - Personal Seasonal Event: Ever since winter fell, propelled only further by multiple incidents inducing more bitter cold, a mass of fairies has fallen ill from the cold. With some quick thinking, desperation, and begging to Reimu, Daiyousei along with support from Reimu and Marisa have opened a sick ward in the basement for those fairies plus the resident Hell Fairy, drunken Oni, Inchling, Poverty God, and Komainu. Regular medicine runs facilitated by Reisen soon developed, especially when new patients could now flow to either Eientei or the ward. Rumia could also be seen around the shrine more often to help control the light levels in the room and serve the ward’s patients. The spirit of cooperation may help keep everyone in good spirits even when they’re sick, but this winter’s forecast in this blog regardless of incident is bound to be a nasty one that persists across every verse in L1.

The Eternal Dark Incident - Community RP Event, hosted by gensokyogarden: A mysterious being only known as Sugar Sweet has escaped her confinement under the Hill of the Nameless as imposed by Yukari Yakumo, blanketing all of Gensokyo in darkness! Will anyone rise up to restore light to Gensokyo and resolve the incident?

A Koakuma & AQ Christmas Carol - Personal RP Event: Christmas has come to Gensokyo, but trouble’s afoot with the speculation of foul play in the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Who could be behind this mystery? Press questions for answers…

The incident has advanced into becoming the Unfinished Report Incident.

The West Mountain - Poll Your Own Adventure: Follow a team of Gensokyo’s incident resolvers and willing helpers to the anomalous West Mountain and investigate how it could be associated with the Parallel Satellite Incident…

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Verses

Default Verse: The default verse for all interactions on this blog is Touhou (and Gensokyo) unless a setting outside that area is stated by either writer. While the Hakurei Barrier exists in this verse as a means to generally enclose the region as intended, individual abilities and various advancements in technology and magic have opened pathways in and out of Gensokyo for most people if they know how to use them. This allows the Touhou muses on this blog the ability to be used in the settings of other fandoms in their own default/alternate verses.

Universe K4: To summarize it quickly, this is a multi-fandom AU where multiple worlds from varying series have been forcefully separated from their original locations and now orbit above and around a towering mountain that exists in another dimension. Worlds that have been included in this hub usually harbor gates of varying nature that lead back to their original locations or to another region in the hub. This dimension is accessible through an invisible gap that can be found around any given mountain. Lore is more visible from starcloud-spire (WIP) as a more dedicated lore-dumping blog, and from the-black-raven-of-voile as a side observer.

Universe Conversion Point M2: The Honkai Star Rail verse for this blog, also visible from travelogue-of-march-7th as a more dedicated blog. It crosses paths with every other universe listed anywhere on this blog. More details under development.

Rules

BYF/BYI: If you get an ask that looks like an interaction request with this blog’s tag from @derpytoad and then this blog reblogs your answer, it’s still me. Both blogs are under the same account because this blog is a side blog. If I think we could be mutuals and I follow you back, I will follow you from @derpytoad.

This blog isn’t restricted to mutuals-only or anything related. If you want to interact, just do it! Anything goes for me as long as you follow the rules. Even if you have nothing related to Touhou, we can make it work!

Communication is key. Please be patient with me and tell me if things seem like they’re not going right. If you don’t want to do a thread I try starting or just want to drop it early due to any reason, if you are less inclined to interact with anything specific on this blog, or if you’re even considering unfollowing this blog altogether, just tell me what might have happened that made you feel this way. I won’t be mad, I just want closure so I don’t feel like I mis-stepped somewhere and be riddled with self-guilt.

I might be 24, but no NSFW of any kind is going to be a mainstay on this blog (and there’s no side blog for it either). Please keep such content on your own blog if you have any, thank you very much.

No godmodding, metagaming, or similar (the usual rule you see on these kinds of blogs).

I’m open to plotted RP, but I will not do DM RP. That’s just to keep the DMs open for more necessary discussions between writers.

Discord RP is another thing, but that’s for a later date when I have a server open for it. And yes, I am planning on converting one of my servers to make this possible. Community eventually? Maybe.

You don’t have to match the length of my replies or be super detailed/formatted with them, but all I ask is that they’re grammatically legible so I don’t get lost trying to read your post.

Anything said or done by my muses is not done to reflect the perspective of the mun unless specifically stated that they’re speaking on my behalf for any reason. Some of my muses might be jerks, but that doesn’t mean I’m a jerk IRL (especially if we’re cool with each other and/or mutuals).

If your main blog (the one you like/follow stuff with) is a personal blog and you have side blogs for roleplaying, name those blogs so I can see what they’re like, and so I know where to send my responses and interactions.

Feel free to nudge or @ me if you feel like interacting, or if it's been a hot minute and I still owe a reply on an open thread.

One @ or ask is all you need for a starter, and that’s how I will conduct my starters with your own blogs. Also remember to specify the muse(s) you want to interact with, and possibly even a location if you want. If you are a multi-muse blog, also include which of your own muses will be included. All of this makes it easier for me to think of a response.

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Master Links

Canon Universe Muse List

Armored Fairy Brigade Muse List

AU Muse List

File Two: An Unexpected High School’s Impromptu Study Circle for Aspiring Detectives & Magical Girls

Blog Tags

The Second Grimoire of Marisa

About Cupcake The Mun (Leads to my main personal blog, which I use to follow other blogs)

Useful Character & Worldbuilding Generators

Folk Lore Links

Icon Credits:

Icon is currently Renko Usami as portrayed in Touhou Lost Word

Banner is currently the cutscene background of Patchouli’s library desk from the same game

All icon sources are usually canon sprites, images saved from other Tumblr RP blogs, images featured on publicly available games and official media, various (un)official anime/manga, and YouTube screenshots

Sources for other art-based icons like Pixiv & Safebooru will be linked in the muse bios and on the first post that the image is used

If you read the rules and muse list, and you know what’s going on with this blog, send me an ask that says “Yukari, get the train!” It’s not required, but it tells me that you know what’s what with this blog and that you read the rules from top to bottom :)

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Looking for my other more RP-oriented blogs?

@timekeepertwister - Cookie Run AU with fandom crossover implications that are canon to this blog; open to Q&A and RP for various characters related to the Time Balance Department

@kitsune-corps-investigators - Wizardposting blog with a backdrop cast of Cookie Run wizard/detective characters both canon and OC. Open to Q&A and RP for various characters related to the series as a whole, but still under development

@the-black-raven-of-voile - RP blog for Patchouli Knowledge & Koakuma with other AU parallels and limited side muses

@armored-fairies - Dedicated lore blog for the Armored Fairy Brigade (an OC-driven guild consistent mostly of fairies), which includes RP and gaming guides for various mobile games

@travelogue-of-march-7th - RP blog mainly for HSR’s March 7th, but also includes mun commentary on Honkai Star Rail’s gameplay from the beginning

[royalsmugbug]

I'm compiling a list of all my AUs and how they'll be tagged, here!

#paleprince au - AU where the Pale King changes the Hollow Knight plan midway through raising the Pure Vessel. He takes their place, and leaves the Pure Vessel as the ruler.

#paleprince2 au - AU where the Pale King never concocts the Hollow Knight plan, and instead immediately chooses himself to contain the Radiance. But the kingdom will need someone to rule when he's gone. He expected to leave Hallownest to one of his heirs. Unfortunately, he underestimated exactly how many heirs his wife is capable of bearing. Hallownest has a lot of Root-Wyrmlings to choose from.

#mosswood au - While Hornet's off in Pharloom (may or may not be of her own free will. We'll see if Silksong ever comes out), the three youngest gods of Hallownest - Ghost, the Grimmchild, and the Hollow Knight - visit another kingdom, Mosswood, seeking help from its own deities to help come into their own divinities.

#embracethelight au - Basically a bad-end AU. The Hollow Knight breaks sooner, and the Radiance escapes. Using an enthralled Vessel and Dreamers, she quickly sets about conquering Hallownest, and it seems no one can stop her.

#nightmarekingdom au - AU where, with the Radiance killed, there's a power vacuum in the Dream Realms, now. And the Nightmare Heart is quite willing to use the ties it's current vessel - the Grimmchild - has to Hallownest and its gods to ensnare the kingdom in his Heart.

#acolyte au - Instead of using the Hollow Knight to trap the Radiance, the Pale King offers to indoctrinate them to act as her personal acolyte and devotee. Rebuild her followers and strength, and end the Infection and secure an alliance with her, on the sacrifice of his child's freedom and mind.

#daliance au - AU where the Pale King realizes a bit too late that the Pure Vessel isn't so pure. Scrambling to find a new solution, he's inspired by his original deal with Herrah. He offers to sire a child with the Radiance, and she agrees. And now, he's left with an angsty spider demigod, an emotionally repressed Root-Wyrm-Void godling, and a Moth-Wyrm godling with major daddy issues.

#spontaneousadoption au - AU in which the Traitor Lord turns traitor sooner. The Mantis Lords, seeking to replace their treacherous brother, decide the Hollow Knight will be the perfect candidate. They can easily train this empty vessel to act just like their brother. Except, as they quickly learn, the Hollow Knight isn't as hollow as they first imagine.

#butwaittheresmore au - AU in which the Pale King doesn't kill all his Void-infused children. Instead, he takes them all home, and let's the process of training to be the Hollow Knight naturally weed out the Pure Vessel from the rest. Only problem is, none of the Vessels appear to be "Pure."

#bwtmpp au - Crossover AU between But Wait There's More and Pale Prince. Essentially, the Pale King uses his methods from But Wait There's More to determine the Hollow Knight, only to get too attached to all his Vessels and decide to imprison the Radiance himself. The kingdom still has an issue of figuring out which will rule next. They just have the added caveat of Void sprinkled on top. For ✨flavor✨

#bwtmd au - Another crossover AU of But Wait There's More, this time with Daliance. Same methods, same realization the plan won't work. The method this time, though? Sire the Radiance's child. Now, he's left with a spider demigod, a Moth-Wyrm godling, and multiple Root-Wyrm-Void godlings to raise!

#childsoldier au - AU in which the Pale King realizes, why just use the Void to contain the Radiance in one mere Vessel? Why not use it to kill her instead, to raise a perfect army of Root-Wyrm-Void soldiers that can consume her light and remain loyal to his?

I'll probably add more as I come up with more ideas but here's the gist of my AUs that I'll be talking about on this blog! Cheers!

[absolutezerotolerance]

When I created this blog, along side my fellow moderator, I was in a very different place, mentally. J//uvia and Gr//uvia made me angry in a way I couldn't get over and by in large I surrounded myself with people who felt the same way. I thought that venting was healthy, and I still do, but not so much in the way we went about it.

There is a difference between having a space where you can voice what you're feeling and thinking for the sake of working through them, and having that space be public. There is a certain level of satisfaction that you can get from reading metas like the ones we posted, agreeing with your side, but to what end?

Over the months we've run this blog, we've received many an-ask about how this blog has been appreciated by other fans who don't enjoy the way the ship is handled by the Fairy Tail series, itself, the sequel or by the fandom at large. And whilst there may or may not be a conversation to be had where J//uvia and Gr//uvia and what they represent are concerned, months ago I came to the conclusion that this blog is not the way to go about it. I will come back to why it took so long between me realizing this and posting this in a moment, but for our followers, I want to pose a question to you.

What conversation does this blog actually influence? That J//uvia is a bad character? That Gr//uvia is a bad ship? Okay, then, to what end? How is this blog different from the recent attacks on archive of our own, or the inter-fandom discourse about purity culture? Is the way we talk about J//uvia and Gr//uvia not in line with the same type of thinking that gets fanfiction archives attacked over hosting gay fanfiction or authors attacked in their own comments over writing about darker subjects?

And even if that were a moot point, how would it be fair to ask fans of the ship and character to have a conversation with a blog like this floating around that is so aggressively opposed to it? How can we ask fans to sit down and have an actual discussion and trust that there is a good faith to be had? Do we have any good faith towards J//uvia or Gr//uvia?

Personally, I have arrived at the answer: no. I didn't have good faith towards either.

When this blog was active, I thought that was a fine position to hold. I still don't like J//uvia or Gr//uvia or the way they are so heavily intertwined with Gray that it is impossible to search for him. But, that's my problem. That's my opinion. I've been in this fandom for just under a decade, I have fanfic authors and fanartists who I like who don't post about those topics, or if they do, I can just rely on the old adage of "don't like, don't read". Disliking J//uvia and Gr//uvia doesn't have to be this big political statement that you need mountains of evidence to justify. It is okay to just not like them. Hell, it is okay to think the ship is toxic. But there are better things to spend my energy on the venting about how much I dislike them, and the people who do like J//uvia and Gr//uvia are not evil pieces of shit for doing so, I don't need to make them into strawman arguments to show why me not liking J//uvia and Gr//uvia is the morally superior stance to hold.

In the months that I have been gone, I have moved on from the Fairy Tail fandom into another one and that above all else is what helped me flip my perspective on this. The Fairy Tail fandom was not a good experience for me, by in large. I adore Gray, and I would not trade the friends I made through Fairy Tail for the world, but those are the exceptions. There are too many ways that Fairy Tail and its fandom have warped my perception of fandom to list, but just being outside it for months was a hell of a shock.

I was so god damn scared of approaching ships and characters and topics in my new fandom because my experience with the Fairy Tail fandom made my first instinct be wariness and caution, because what if. What if the ship's fans are toxic? What if the content of the ship isn't healthy? What if other people care that I ship this in the way I cared if other people shipped Gr//uvia?

In the defense of my younger self, I was 13 when I joined this fandom. And for the majority of the decade it was my only fandom, the only one I was active in for a substantial period of time anyway. I now know that if I found and fell in love with Fairy Tail today that I would have a vaaaastly different opinion of it and its ships and its characters and its fans. I wouldn't care, is the thing. Because why should I when the alternative is having fun with the parts of the fandom that I enjoy?

Ship and let ship, it's a piece of media for fuck's sake, the people who enjoy ships you don't like are not the devil reincarnated, so leave them alone.

To the fans of this blog, I'm glad if this blog was helpful to you in some way. Be that in helping you to articulate why you don't like J//uvia or Gr//uvia or the 100 years sequel, or if the original intention of this being a productive vent space actually had that effect for you.

To the fans of J//uvia and Gr//uvia, I am sorry to have put you in the position that I did, using this blog as a weapon to paint you in a truly awful light. What I think and feel about this ship is my issue, and I shouldn't have pushed it onto you as some grand moral failing on your part.

I will be stepping down from actively running this blog, it is a piece of my fandom history that I don't want to hold onto any longer.

See you around.

[kanonavi]

hewwo tis hua on main :33 lettuce see 9, 17, 23, 31, 45, n 46 for the fic questions~

Hi Hua we are now hanging out on my blog! :3

(Hi it's me from the future crying because this is so long I can no longer justify not putting a Read More what have you done to me :sob:)

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

How can you ask me that when we’re in the Genshin fandom rn lol Jokes aside, I think that the size of the Genshin fandom is its blessing just as much as it’s its curse. Obviously it’s going to have all of the main problems that big fandoms tend to have, but the sheer number of people also means that there’s basically a guarantee that there will be other people that are creating the exact flavor of fanworks that I want to see and to create myself.

I’ve gone through highs and lows of how much fic I read for a fandom over time and I think Genshin is one of my all-time highs, but I’m pretty sure I’ve also found the most fics in Genshin that have just felt transcendent in some way to me. For a piece of media that I enjoy as much as I enjoy Genshin, I’d gladly take a large fandom that’s a bit of a clusterfuck over a tiny fandom where my thoughts and ideas don’t resonate with anything everyone else is doing. Even if it means I’m mostly off in my corner trying my best to remain blind to greater fandom trends, I’m happy in my tiny sandbox with the few friends that I share this experience with.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favorite?

My first OTP for Genshin was xingyun! I ended up pulling both of them very early on, and even before I read their voicelines and realized that they’re basically a textbook example of friends to lovers, I was impressed by how well they worked together in a team and based purely on that I wondered as a joke if people shipped them. So naturally I checked AO3 and Learned.

They’ve been deposed as my favorites at this point by xiaoven, but they’re still very high on my otp list, placed lovingly in my S+ tier alongside xiaoven and kazuscara. I think that I would have ended up shipping them regardless of if I pulled them both early, but I like to think they started my taste off on the right foot.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

The thing about all of my fics is that they're either for a fandom/ship that I'm kinda divorced from at this point or they were written when I was 14 in the AO3 editing box and there is little to no in between. Which then leaves my Genshin fics... of which there are only 3, since most of my writing is done for me and my friends rather than the public.

Still, if I had to pick one, it would be When Suikou Met a Little Bird, a fic that was written in a pure, brainrotted haze but still kind of escalated to more than I ever expected it to be. It was honestly kind of an experiment for me, since I wrote it in a perspective I wasn't used to (that being Xiao rather than Venti) and the story just kind of came easily in a way that writing usually doesn't for me. For that, I was really proud of how it came out and just really happy with it overall.

That, and I also based it on one of the most Mentally Ill screenshots I've ever taken in-game, which I will include for your viewing pleasure:

31. What's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about your writing?

I got a comment a few months ago on A Brief Respite from Lantern's Light, which was the fic I wrote in a brainrot haze after the Endless Suffering trailer ended my entire existence, which said that my portrayal of Xiao and Venti was the closest to canon they had ever read and that the way I "captured the essence of their love is nothing short of perfection". Needless to say, I kinda ascended thanks to that.

The way that I write characters is something that I guess I could say I'm insecure about, since characters are often the vessels for humanity to be brought forth in a work of fiction, even if the characters aren't human themselves. I hold characters in very high esteem in works of fiction, but because I spend so much time thinking about my favorite characters, I'm constantly worried that they're kinda turning to mush in my brain and becoming what I see them as rather than what they really are. Headcanons are fun and I indulge in them plenty myself, but when I never want to lose sight of who those characters are in the story they were written for when I'm creating my own stories for them.

That's kind of why the xiaoven scene in the Endless Suffering trailer was Everything to me. Their first canon interaction, and it consisted of an exchange that was comfortable, especially when compared to Xiao's interactions with other characters in the past and even in the rest of that same trailer. Then, that says nothing of the tender gazes that Venti was giving Xiao the entire time. The entire scene just proved to me that whether or not they're in love, Xiao and Venti are comfortable with each other and that much is real.

So after I took that scene and built off of it into my own thought of how the scene could continue if Xiao and Venti were lovers, and to have someone say that it matched their interaction in the trailer and that I was able to capture that essence? It means everything to me, to this day.

i feel like a narcissist to have answered that question at such length but oh well lol

45. What is your all time favorite fanfic?

There are plenty of Genshin fics which have had an impact on me (oh haha impact that wasn't even on purpose), but I feel like I have to give this to what's probably the first truly transcendent fic I ever read. It was a Persona 5 fic called Black Star, I'm pretty sure it's still one of the most read P5 fics today, which it totally deserves.

It was a kind of epilogue to the original P5 before Royal or Strikers or whatever the fuck X is supposed to be were ever conceived, and in my honest opinion Black Star did it better than any of them ever have and ever will. It's a fic that says what it means to, nothing more and nothing less, and as I look back over the past 5 years of Atlus milking the life out of this story that used to have meaning, it's so goddamn refreshing to have this author who rolled up, wrote a perfect epilogue for P5 and then nothing else for the fandom. Wherever they are, I hope they're living their best possible life.

Black Star fixed the main thing that the original P5 fucked up, which was Goro Akechi. Akechi barely had a character arc in the original, even by the standards of P5 writing, but in this fic he was able to gain redemption as well as a resolution on his complicated feelings towards Joker in a way that I don't even think Royal did as well. Full disclosure, I used to be a hardcore shuake shipper and Black Star is a gen fic, but there are plenty of fics which give Akechi resolution in a way that incorporates romantic feelings towards Joker which I also love. However, I just think Black Star is able to surpass them in certain regards because of how it actualizes Akechi in his own personhood independent of anyone else. At this point in my life cycle as a goroboy, I really just think that when Akechi is at his lowest like he is in this fic, he just needed anything, even the faintest glimmer of trust in him from someone in his life that he's able to do good even after all the wrong he's done in order for him to at least want to try. That can be given to him regardless of any kind of romance, and Black Star has always done it best.

I also just love the way it builds off of P5's world with Paranoia Syndrome and the Dead Sea in which Mementos rots. Again, it's like I said before, no official continuation of Persona 5 has ever and will ever do it better than Black Star. ...i should read it again at some point.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

I am once again being made to choose between one of my three entire Genshin fics lol. But for this question I honestly feel like I have to go with A Brief Respite from Lantern's Light. It's short, but also out of my three fics I think it best demonstrates my mental state and how xiaoven exists in my brain, being rotated like a rotisserie chicken. In a way it could be kinda like my mission statement? Or like. My conceit? OH ITS LIKE MY XV COVER LETTER. i hate that metaphor, god lol

But yeah, we end with a simple answer: if you come to me for xiaoven, the xiaoven in that fic is what you're signing up for <3

[mogwai-movie-house]

Hello! I would like to ask two questions, actually.

From what I can judge, you seem to enjoy watching and reviewing movies. Do you also watch TV series sometimes and if yes, what are the ones you would say are genuinely worth watching? (except Succession, and I also know that shows like Mad Men, Sopranos and the Wire are considered to be some of the prime TV examples.)

What are your favorite old Hollywood classics?

Thank you!

Howdy,

I can see from looking at your blog that you like Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, and I really can't think of any better-realized shows than those. Their creators really stuck the landing and told a perfect, clear story from the beginning to the end, which is where most other shows seem to fall down: the first 4 seasons of Game of Thrones might be the best TV show ever made, but the last 2 or 3 might be the very worst; the same goes for Rick & Morty (first 4 seasons perfect, last couple a disaster). The Simpsons was the best show on TV for the first 13 or so seasons, but has been a dull and unfunny walking corpse of its former self for over two decades now, which is terrible to see. South Park was at the very peak of human achievement in that medium for over 20 years, but then hit a very tiresome and uneven patch a few years back and hasn't really recovered, though it's always worth a look. The first 3 seasons of Arrested Development are perfection; the last two are dismal. The first season of True Detective is mostly excellent; the rest just get worse and worse. So decline in quality is probably the greatest issue with even the greatest shows, particularly in America, where the makers tend to view a hit show as a cash cow they can keep on milking until it dies, rather than a story needing telling with a beginning, middle and end, like a good film or a book.

I never really clicked with Mad Men: I had an ex-girlfriend who was hooked on it, and I tried to watch a couple of episodes with her, but I just couldn't connect. I could see that it did a nice job of recreating the physical details of the era in which it was set, but was completely anachronistic in its depiction of the people, their words, actions and motivations, none of which seemed at all real to me, and all clearly in the service of creating some very clumsy feminist strawmen to attack, while also perversely reveling in it. In some ways it seemed to me a test run for The Handmaid's Tale (or 50 Shades of Grey); a fetishization of real-or-imagined female victimhood, consumed overwhelmingly by women who found a strange mix of pleasure in the pretty clothes and smartly dressed aloof, boorish and powerful men they delight in hating but secretly want to bang. I can see some people must have felt they found more than that in it, but I just don't seem to be the audience for it.

My favourite shows in recent years have been Inside No. 9, Rick & Morty and Black Mirror, though the quality of all of them has become much more patchy. Get Shorty is not at that level but very enjoyable. Curb Your Enthusiasm has remained consistently slight but fun. The White Lotus and Enlightened are both good.

Further back I would list Extras, The Office (the original UK show) and Life's Too Short, all perfectly realized from start to end. Same goes for Spaced, Father Ted and I'm Alan Partridge. Northern Exposure and Buffy The Vampire Slayer are both wondrous and unique, though the last season of each goes downhill. I loved Community (first 3 seasons) and Louie. Then obviously things like the original Twilight Zone and Star Trek. I really enjoyed Lena Dunham's Girls, too, though I haven't gone back to rewatch it.

There are too many great films from the past to list, but if I were to try recommend some of the classics to people unfamiliar with anything before their own schooldays, off the top of my head I would probably say Sunset Blvd (1950), The Third Man (1949), The Night Of The Hunter (1955), His Girl Friday (1940), It Happened One Night (1934), The Ladykillers (1955), North by Northwest (1959), Le Plaisir (1952), The Kid (1921), The Gold Rush (1925), City Lights (1930), The Last Command (1928), and Black Narcissus (1947). All of them are strikingly original and perfectly-realized stories that satisfy in a way all films should but almost all present-day films are incapable of doing.

[rookiestars]

hiii sorry if this is kind of weird dkjfsdkf but i noticed last night like even when you’ve reblogged something from me or wherever and i can physically see it on ur blog and even on my dashboard, it’s not showing up in my notifications or even on the notes of the actual post? like ur blog has kind of gone ghost mode, at least for me. even when i search ur blog name u like wont pop up in the list even though i literally follow you. i just wanted to give u a heads up and maybe have someone else test if ur like. invisible for them or smthn if ur concerned about it?? if not then its probably my tumblr being wacky and dw about it but idk fjsdkfkjs i just noticed it and was like. maybe i should say smthn bc thats Weird !!! idk

(i also dont know if u just have messages turned off which is obvs fine but. if u do not have them turned off. it would not let me message you lol i had to send this as an ask. if any of this was somehow intentional then like. ignore me- have a nice day-)

bro they shadowbanned me......but thank you so much, i wouldn't have realized otherwise! i sent staff a message and hopefully they'll fix it soon

[500days-of-autumn]

11:22 pm, 21st of dec ‘24

Years have already passed since my first blog post. It’s crazy how fast time has flown, and yet, I can still remember the exact moment I decided to start this account — with the help of a friend I’ve never even met in real life (missing her extra today!). And here I am, still writing, still reflecting, still moving forward.

It's odd to think how something as simple as starting a blog could turn into a marker of time in itself.

I also just finished watching Lovely Runner, a series centered around the idea of time and the beauty that lies within it. It made me realize how our actions revolve around the idea of making the most out of everything because we’ve been told to believe that, although time is infinite in itself, our time isn’t.

We often label ourselves as productive or lazy based on a simple measure: what time we wake up. A productive day is one where we get up early, check everything off our to-do list, and squeeze in as much as possible. If we sleep in until 11 AM, we feel like we’ve somehow failed. We pack our days so full, as if time is a resource to be hoarded, used up efficiently. Even in pop culture, movies often revolve around the idea of having limited time, with the protagonist making extra efforts to stop it from running out.

The idea of time as something fleeting and irreplaceable does feel like a heavy weight at times, urging us to rush through life, as if we’re running out of it. Time has always been associated with the idea of beginnings and endings. We measure our lives in moments: the start of a race, the sound of an alarm clock, the countdown before a big event. We record time, marking its passage with every new second. Even this post of mine is tethered to a moment in time — it’s a record, a snapshot of where I am right now, in this fleeting instant.

Minutes ago, I found myself reading old letters for me from people who were once, and still are, part of my life. I admit that it made me tear up, reading how they saw me six years ago, and how, even now, I still relate to their words. Most of them are people I’m not close with anymore, and some have been completely cut off from my life. In fact, I can count the number of people remaining in my life on my own hands.

Just thinking about it now, I don’t think that the 16-year-old me would have ever imagined how much I would value those letters post-teenage years. I don’t think she even thought about how grave the changes in her life would be, or how time would fly so fast that she wouldn’t even realize the changes until she stumbled upon these half-decade-old letters to remind her of how quickly time went by.

One common theme that stood out in the letters was how many of my friends didn’t expect to be close to me, just like the people I’m with now. They expressed their love for me, often saying how selfless I was — that I put others first, even at the expense of myself. Maybe it’s just who I am, a people-pleaser who always does more than what’s expected. But reading these words now, I can’t ignore how much I've become aware of this pattern.

I see it, I feel it, but that awareness hasn’t led me to take action. It feels like I’m stuck in a loop of self-awareness that doesn’t quite translate into change.

Sometimes, being aware doesn’t equate with wanting to do anything about it.

For some reason, I thought: Have I always been like this ever since?

I’m trying to work on it, though. It’s a strange realization to be reading these words at a point in my life where I am consciously distancing myself from others, wanting to prioritize myself now. It’s like the very things I was praised for back then — my selflessness, my ability to care — have now become the things I need to work on changing.

The irony isn’t lost on me: I’ve gone from being the person who gave everything to everyone else to someone who is now actively pulling away, trying to find balance. And it feels a little crazy to think about how much I’ve shifted.

What’s even more jarring is how much comfort I found in those letters, though they come from people who no longer walk through my life. If someone were to ask me how I feel now, I’d say I feel self-pity. The person they admired back then, the one they believed in, is now stuck in a place where she doesn’t feel the same way about herself.

I find it ironic that I’m holding on to words from people who aren’t even part of my life anymore, but it’s as if I’m grasping at any remnants of validation I can find. My avoidance of others has left me with no one to talk to, and I feel the weight of that loneliness.

And I find it crazy that those letters are evidence that, although changes happened around me, they still didn’t happen within me. Everything changed, but I didn’t.

Maybe that’s the deeper truth we tend to ignore: in the end, time is an invisible force that will pass, no matter how hard we try to hold onto it. The real beauty lies in accepting that it’s fleeting, embracing the uncertainty, and allowing ourselves to experience those moments fully — not just trying to make them “worth it,” but letting them shape us in ways we don’t always expect.

[hard-core-super-star]

I don't know how I didn't stop to think that being anonymous actually makes me very mysterious - you just avoided my villain era. Oh yeah, there should be a complaints box, so we could inform and complain about this total mutual discomfort we are going through.

who knew my messy essay would save my neck, thank you for your mercy. I think it could be a result of the second star, the power has gone to my head, I'm going to try to change that😔

now you kind of have to tell this joke or I won't be able to sleep peacefully.

yeah! they actually did a titans show and it looks like it was something like 8 or 80, I didn't watch it either but the reviews are always someone either liking it or hating it, never in between. buying all the comics is my princess dream- but okay, since you're talking about game universes, I agree with you, but tell me I'm not crazy when I say that nightwing completely eat in the Lego games.

that's exactly why I started watching Legends of Tomorrow lmao, they're so silly and chaotic and I love it, not to mention it's the kind of humor that makes me laugh genuinely when I least expect it. OH NO- WAIT In that case I would happily get started for you with an honorable mention to the kiss after their first date and the phrase “I can't be normal” and right after the “I don't want you to be normal” HJSJWKSNDEKK time passes but I'm still stuck in this moment.

they... they canceled the show? haha what? 😀

“slightly traumatized” LMFAO- this shouldn’t be so funny but yeah, I totally get it. I know there's this supercorp thing (I think that's the name) and they are literally the golden retriever gf and the black cat gf 😭 do you still have this blog? asking for scientific research

– 🌟

you're welcome, i'll be here all night [ignore the timezone difference] to remind you how cool and mysterious you are. i would joke and say my inbox is technically a complaints box too but i feel like we'd make one joke about it and somehow add another conversation to our list 👀

i'm not saying i told you so but i did warn you that the second star would be too much. keep that in mind if you ever want to ask for a third one.

honestly, the joke was just going to be the blood-sucker thing which is a direct reference to vampire [both the song and the fic] but then you made the blood-sucker comment for me so my reference is kind of irrelevant by now 😶

i would poke fun at the show for that but i think all my comfort shows have those types of reviews too. i'm pretty sure hawkeye didn't do that well with the general public so i can't hold it against titans. i cannot believe you're bringing up the Lego games because, this is embarrassing to admit but, i was OBSESSED with the Lego Batman 2 game and that's exactly what led me to fall down the DC rabbit hole and eventually the Nightwing rabbit hole. after Lego Batman came Injustice and then the Batman Arkham series which is still my favorite videogame series to this day. even though i never finished origins.

i'm serious do NOT encourage me to talk about this show, i can go on for ages, it's so silly but so important to me and it honestly has the best queer representation of all the Arrowverse shows. [with the exception of Batwoman which was taken from us too soon. and yes that is another rant.] ajksdfhjaghjhdagjh that episode will live in my mind rent free until the day i die! i remember watching it when it aired and i lost my damn mind at the "i don't want you to be normal!" outburst. i love them with all my heart.

whoops, i didn't realize you didn't know. i don't know what season you stopped at but basically, without spoiling anything, Season 7 ended in a cliffhanger and then the news came out that both Legends of Tomorrow and Batwoman were cancelled AKA the two shows with the most queer representation. meanwhile, the flash [aka the show with like literally zero rep unless you count subtext] got to do its last [awful, btw] season. as you can tell, i'm still pissed about it.

i have a love-hate relationship with supercorp because i adore them but [to no one's surprise] the CW ruined them and just used their relationship as queerbait since the show was obviously going downhill. the blog is actually still up but i am far too embarrassed to leak it because...yikes.

[on1tea]

Cookie

It’s been exactly a year, and..I have so much to say to you, so many I love yous, so many praises, so many wishes. This year has been one of the best, and I want you to find what makes you happy, and have that all to yourself. You truly deserve to have what genuinely brings you joy. You could travel the world in a van, meet people and see things and be in nature, you’re free to do all of that and more. I know you can. I’m glad that we met, today a year ago, at 7:40pm. I’m glad we played that silly roblox obby, and that shooter game that lead me down a spiral to actually liking them, and liking you, I’m glad I got to be your player two, I'm glad we started talking on layers below the surface, I’m even grateful for trying to flirt with you once I had realized I liked you more than a friend would, only for you to be, well..you, your perfect oblivious self. I’m even grateful for the teases I had gotten at the time for not realizing it sooner. I'm glad I waited then, and fell even deeper in love, I'm glad I made my former blog, and then this one, and started writing things I could never tell you myself, I'm grateful that when I did let you in, you accepted me, and of course, I accepted you, I always will.

I’m grateful to have gone to get hotpot with you, and boba, and walked into a store only for us to speed walk out and act like it never happened, I got to lock arms with you, hold you, look into your eyes, see your smile and hear your laugh, meet your mom for a second even if I was nervous as all hell, I love thinking back to when we were in vrchat and you called me yours while we went around trolling people, how you still included me when someone you knew joined, I got to fall even deeper than I thought I could, memorizing your habits, your likes and dislikes, the sides of you not a lot if people get to see, your expressions and tendencies, trying to make you laugh just for the sake of hearing you belt out the cutest, hardiest laugh I’ve ever heard, or the ones where we were breathless at the mic and barely able to continue the joke, I got to tell my family about you and even if I was teased about being so smitten by someone, I always held a proud smile on my face, I'm grateful for the risks you took just to see me, the patience and care you gave me, and even grateful to meet one of your friends, or as you'd call him your “good buddy”, and be held so close to you in the void desert, and kissed so softly, held so carefully in the backseat afterwards, and gush to each other afterwards until we couldn’t think straight, even if I may still be held in shock from the very first time you said you loved me, and when you came to give me cookies, m&m, your favorite kind..

I’m happy I got to experience you even in your softest, "Weakest", most adorable moments. and even if a decade from now isn’t guaranteed, I at least hope next year is, August 5th, at 7:40pm sharp, I hope these still bring a handsome, goofy smile to your face, I hope you’ll still be in my life, I hope you’ll still let me cherish you and handle your heart and soul with care. I hope one day I can handwrite letters dripped with wax to write down lists and lists of why I love you, and see you in your moments of adorableness, that one day we can wear our bracelets together for the times when we may be apart, and keep our necklaces close without worry. I hope whatever happens in the future, we can go through it together. Until then, whether its next year or tomorrow, I love you, my tomato, my cookie, my yan, and one day, my man. Abwa.

[rivermans-ramblings]

How Things Have Changed

Riverman's Journal Aug. 2/23

Well here we go, this is the first blog I have ever done. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this. With so much content in the world today, I truly appreciate your time. All this media these days be it online blogs, social media, streaming, video games or any new one I haven't heard of yet. It is a far cry from when I grew up in the 80's. I grew up in Bonny River NB Canada we had 2 tv channels, 3 if the weather was good. A dial tone phone, cassette players, (I know I have lost all the kids now, as they are asking themselves what the heck those things are.) well here's a hint kids, music. Our cameras that took awhile to get your photos back and you hoped they came out good. There was no Netflix or other streamers but it was a real joy getting to the movie rental store and finding a copy of the movie you wanted still available. A real disappointment if it was gone. However once in awhile you would find a gem you really liked if you decided to have a deep dive through the ones you never heard of before. The biggest difference back then, now prepare yourself kiddies, there was no WIFI!!! Now you are probably thinking what the heck did we do back then. Well, we went outside, ya I know pretty wild to consider that one isn't it? Outside, you only go there to go somewhere or if by accident these days. No we went outside on purpose, to ride our bikes, play street hockey or other sports, play with friends, hang out. Now a days we have everything at our finger tips. We have a phone, camera, photo album, calculator, mini computer, movie player (through streaming services), calendar, alarm clock, games, flash light, email, banking abilities, internet, and so much more. Its funny looking back at a show like Star Trek the original series how they had communicators, hand held devices you spoke to people with. I still think of them sometimes when I have the speaker on during a conversation on my phone. Still haven't got the transporters down yet, or at least that they are telling us about yet. The things we are capable of now though is still quite impressive, for awhile now they have thought controlled arms and legs. Perhaps not to the level in Sci-Fi movies but still quite amazing. We have artificial intelligence(AI), a hot topic of whether or not we should even be messing with such a thing. There is however no going back with it now though as it is available online to write anything you want. Though its data banks are only updated to late 2021. It can however create works of art, or any kind of image you desire based on text description. That still depends on the persons ability to use their own words to get it to create what they want. The seemingly only thing holding that aspect of it back, as some people will be better than others at that, for now. They have highly intelligent AIs out there they are gearing for conversation abilities with humans to the point some people may not even realize that it is not another person they are speaking with. Some of the best AIs can think so fast the whole population of the planet would take some where in the ball park of 200 days + to process what some AIs can in a matter of seconds. That is scary for the ones who don't truly understand the AI. Such as myself who still to this day whenever I hear the world AI or super computer, my first thought is Skynet. For whoever doesn't get that reference then shame on you, lol. There is a lot of good that can come from AI there is no doubt, be it for medical purposes or saving lives in a different matter. We just need to have some kind of contingency plan for any possible bad. We after all are just human and there is always room for human error, or in extreme cases human malice or intent. Now when our grandchildren are the ones running the planet just imagine all those features I listed before on our cell phones that will seem like a dinosaur of technology just like the VHS. Google it kids.

[planet4546b]

i tend to get mean about destiny new vs old environment design for like a lot of reasons. but god i love the throne world so much. genuinely and actually i think that seeing that is what latched me onto destiny like a year ago. my beloved <3

[heartfullofleeches]

Jack in the box (Old)

Male Yandere x G.N Reader

An: was going through my email and found this old fic from my first blog [naga-nerd] I haven't reread it, but I remember the general idea and its one I may rewrite in the future. Hope you enjoy if it's as descent as I remember.

"H-hey Y/n.. Wanna use it?" You turn to look at the person that use walked up to you, small box in his shaking hands. He holds it out a little more, looking away embarrassed as negative thoughts fill his mind. This was a stupid idea. There's no way you'd actually touch it.

"Uh sure I'll try it." His head snaps back to you as you grab the handle and begin turning it. The soft melody of Pop goes the Weasel comes from the Jack in the box, cutting off at times due to the old age of it. You jump as a doll pops out of the box, swinging back and forth on its spring."I didn't hear the end so that startled me. That clown is pretty strange. I mean I'm not judging it but aren't those dolls usually colorful and more alive?"

"Colorful?" He takes his eyes off of you and look down at the box, immediately seeing what you're talking about. The now still doll's clothing resembled those of a happy clown but they were completely grey. The eyes were shut and for a mouth there was a straight black line. The doll was neutral meaning your feelings for him were neutral. Meaning you felt nothing for him at all. Good nor bad. He turns the box over in his hands multiple times, checking the clown doll for any sign of color. Any sign of emotion.

"I hope your jack in the box is ok. I have to go now. Bye." You smile nervously at him as you walk away. Normally your smile would make his day a hundred times better, but at that moment he felt empty inside. He had known you for years and yet you felt as if he was just some person you'd pass by while taking a walk. It wasn't fair. You were on his mind every second of the day but he was the last person you'd probably ever think about. He wanted to smash the box in his hands to pieces and scream to the heavens as he did so. Asking whoever listened why you didn't love him. Why you didn't need him like he needed you every second of the day. But like most feelings he had, he just bottle the anger up.

Frustrated tears fell from John's eyes and landed on the doll, soaking its cloth face. Did he not try hard enough? Maybe he didn't get rid of everyone bothering you and you were just too busy with them. He followed you around and made a long list of those people so that couldn't be true unless you went somewhere without him, which wasn't likely. John grabs the small doll's hand and smiles. He shouldn't be so upset. You just didn't feel anything for him now, he'd change that for sure. He look in the direction you had walked in but you were long gone. That didn't matter though. He knew exactly where to find you.

You wake up in a dark room with a slight headache, laying with your back against something hard. You try to put your hand up to your throbbing head but the thick ropes keeping you tied up stops you. A light switches on and the wooden stairs creak as someone steps into the room.

"I'm sorry that I have put you down here Y/n. Our room isn't quite set up yet and I don't want you to see it." The person from earlier sets a familiar box next to you as he crouched down in front if you.

"Morning sweetheart. Well it's still night time but you've been out so long it feels like a new day." John leans in towards you and you pull away. "Uh who are you exactly?"

You didn't know who he was at all. When he asked you to use the jack in the box earlier you believed it to be a prank so you did it for laughs. You thought it was strange he knew your name but at the time you thought he may have been an old friend.

In all the years that he knew you and everything about you, you never know him at all or realize he was stalking you. You may have said hello a couple times but that's all. His face would just disappear in to the crowd of the many you passed on a normal day. John was a complete stranger to you while you meant everything to him.

"Who am I? Honey you're the love of my life and I'm yours er, I will be soon. I'm sorry to keep you here like this but I have to be sure nobody will try to steal that wonderful heart of yours."

John picks up the Jack in the box and holds it to his chest, voice growing dangerously quiet. The doll from before was still hanging out the box and he petted its head softly "It really hurt me when I found out I was nothing to you Y/n..."

"Don't worry though. I'm not upset about it anymore. I just have to get you to fall for me and that shouldn't be hard. I know pretty much everything about you so I'm sure I can win your heart in no time." He laughs and begins to hum the tone that comes from the box in his hands as he plays with the doll. He suddenly slaps the lid shut, forcing the clown back into its cage.

"Hey Y/n? Do you wanna see how I feel about you? I can't untie you so you can hold my toy but I'm sure my little friend will come out matching my emotions anyway." John turns the handle as you sit there frozen in silence, the dolls appearance changing more and more in the box as the music continues it play.

[adoringhaikyuu]

hello!! i have a bit of a request! could i get oikawa bokuto and kuroo w a s/o who absolutely loves to cook and bake and does so a lot, but always always always shares the food they make? n they kinda slowed down in making food bc ppl arent accepting or wanting the food they make and its making them really down :(

ive been having this issue w my roommates bc i always cook for them w lots of love and they never eat what i make and its,, draining on me,,,,

but yea!! i just want oikawa bokuto n kuroo to make me feel a lil better :( thank u so so so much!!!! i love ur blog n ur writing so much 🖤

THEY AREN'T EATING YOUR FOOD SO YOU STOP COOKING FOR THEM

CHARACTERS: bokuto + kuroo + oikawa + (gn!reader)

WARNINGS: none

NOTES: i hope everything is ok and if not i hope it gets better!! <3 + i tried to make these a little happier ! they all take place over a week + i tried a new format with this we'll see if i stick w it sfkjhg

bokuto:

bokuto honestly didn't not want to eat your food

it's just that he had to go on a new diet for the upcoming season, his trainer and nutritionist told him to try it out to see how it works with him

and the things you cooked and baked were on the no eating list

he just loved when you made food for him, it tasted amazing and he could feel the love you put into it

he was planning on waiting the diet out and stockpiling all the food you made for afterwards as a treat

but he may or may not have failed to tell you that

so when you noticed he wasn't eating the food you left for him when he came home late after practice, you were disheartened and not to be dramatic, but heartbroken as well

deciding not to waste anymore, you simply stopped

turns out, the diet wasn't really working with bokuto, his nutritionist decided it was unecessary since he was getting the same results when he wasn't on it––thanks to his genetics, metabolism and workout routine. if anything he was glad, he was beyond excited to come home and finally eat your cooking again.

he practically ran home with a skip in his step, shouting out cheerfully as soon as he stepped past the front door. "baby i'm home!" he put his things down and took his shoes off, before gliding in front of the fridge to open it. "what's for dinner?––" he trailed off when he noticed there was nothing cooking, maybe you were starting later? he looked through the shelves in the fridge, looking for something to snack on in the mean time and gasped abruptly when he couldn't find the containers of food he'd been saving over the past week.

he closed the doors and frantically looked around the kitchen, opening random cupboards that couldn't possibly keep any refrigerated food fresh.

you walked in to find him searching around like a madman and you paused. "kou? what's wrong?"

he looked up at the sound of your voice and ran over to you, placing his hands on your waist. he kissed your forehead to say hello, despite the pout on his face and the clearly pressing matter on his mind. "hi baby doll. i was looking for all the food that was in the fridge, did you move them?"

you paused, "well i––i threw them out?"

his eyes almost bulged out of his head, "what?! why??"

you were confused by his sudden outburst, it's not like he was eating any of it. "i mean you weren't eating, kou...it's been a week since you've stopped eating my food, i just didn't see the point in keeping it all in there...that's also why i'm not making dinner right now."

he stared at you, shocked and disappointed in himself, he had no idea you were feeling this upset. "oh my god...did i forget to tell you?" your brows furrowed curiously but he simply pulled you into his arms for a tight hug. "i'm so sorry bub––they wanted me to try out this new diet, that's why i wasn't eating! i didn't mean to make you upset! i was even planning on eating all of the dinners i missed afterwards...but the diet wasn't for me so i can go back to eating normally now!"

you pulled back slightly to look at him, not knowing what to say. "oh..."

he gave you a sad smile, "yeah," he brought a hand up to hold your cheek, "you know i love your food––it honestly hurt my heart when they told me i couldn't eat it!"

you cracked a smile and he gave you one right back, "i'm serious!"

you sighed happily, "okay...so i guess i should start making dinner then?––"

he was pulling you over to the fridge before you could finish your sentence, "absolutely! and i'm helping!"

you laughed and started getting the ingredients together, "how about i make your favorite tonight?"

he nodded like a child excited for ice cream and kissed you on the cheek. he wasn't really a chef himself, that's why he left it to you––he didn't want to burn down the kitchen. so he'd mostly be staying by your side, maybe handing you things or mixing things, but you enjoyed his company nonetheless.

you had started seasoning the food when he slid his arms around you from behind, leaning down to rest his head on your shoulder. "hey baby?" you hummed in response and his hold on you tightened a bit. "would you...mind making my favorite dessert tonight too? i've been craving it for a while now..."

you smiled to yourself and nodded, "i'd love to."

he squeezed you and kissed your cheek loudly, "yes! thank you i love you so much!–"

kuroo:

almost every day you sent kuroo off to work with a baked good you made him

he loved them and you loved making them so it was a win-win

you'd put them in a little container with a cute note

and though he knew what to expect each time, they never failed to brighten his day

but earlier this week you stopped by kuroo's office to drop off the treat he'd forgotten to take with him today in his rush out the door

he was in a meeting so his assistant let you into his office

and you felt an ache in your chest when you noticed four of the treats you'd given him this past week all on his desk, unopened

that day, you went back home with all the uneaten sweets and unshed tears aching to fall from your eyes

did he just take them to please you? did he not really want them this whole time? was he just trying to be a good husband?

all these questions flooded your mind, only confusing and hurting you further

but one thing was for certain, you'd stop baking them for him

it didn't make sense for you to if you knew it'd be going to waste

kuroo was beyond done with his day and it wasn't even halfway over. he sighed, loosening his tie as he shut the door to his office, drained from the two hour meeting he'd been in.

thankfully, he had no more meetings today so he could sit and relax while he worked in his office. he sat down at his desk and shut his eyes for a moment, needing to calm down and regenerate himself. he reached over to his left blindly, knowing he'd left the treats you baked him there––things had been getting so hectic lately, he barely had time to eat them, but he was saving them for when he did have the time.

his hand smacked down on the desk three times as he tried to reach for the containers before he finally opened his eyes. his brows furrowed slightly, "what the..." he looked around the desk, opening the drawers and everything before giving up and calling his assistant in.

she knocked on the door and he signaled for her to come in.

"yes sir?"

"hi, do you know where the sweets i had on my desk are? i thought i left them here."

his assistant thought for a moment before perking up, "oh i believe your partner came and collected them while you were in your meeting, sir."

he frowned, "y/n was here? why didn't you tell me?"

"they asked me not to disturb you."

kuroo nodded, "oh alright...well, thank you, that'll be all."

he immediately pulled his personal phone out and called your number, you must have been back home by now.

you saw his name pop up on your screen as you were about to throw out the baked goods and hesitated for a good while before sighing and picking up. "yes?"

you could practically hear the smirk on his face as he spoke through the phone.

kuroo leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling as he spoke. "you stole my sweets from me? where'd you hide them? or did you eat them?"

he didn't even feel bad that he'd just left them there?––"well you clearly weren't eating them kuroo," the smirk dropped from his face and he sat up, alert. woah––kuroo? why did you sound upset? "they were just sitting on your desk––anyway, i was about to throw them out."

"woah, what?? why would you do that?!"

he was speaking to you but you honestly weren't listening, too annoyed and too hurt to pay attention. "look if you didn't like them, you could have just told me so i wouldn't have to waste hours every day busting my ass to make them for you––were you just throwing them out this whole time, is that it?––"

he shook his head with each word you uttered before realizing you couldn't see him, he was just in complete shock. "what? no no, kitten listen to me, hey listen, okay?" you paused, mostly to catch your breath, but he took that opportunity to speak up. "i love when you bake for me, everything you make tastes amazing. i love eating the sweets you make when i'm at work because they remind me of you and of how much you love me––this week's just been a complete pain in my ass and i haven't had the time to sit down, eat and enjoy your treats, i love them and you too much to just scarf them down in a minute. i need to savor them, you know?" despite the adrenaline running in your body, you cracked a smile. "i finally had some time to myself and i was gonna eat them just now when i realized they were missing so i called you..."

he trailed off and you took that as your cue to speak up. "oh..."

you could hear his smirk again, "yeah, oh."

"so i...maybe...overreacted a bit."

he chuckled, the sound warm even through the phone. "no kitten you didn't, i get why you were upset––but, you should have asked me about it first."

you sighed, "yeah, yeah..." you looked at the open containers in front of you, only now noticing the notes you put in them were gone––he must have taken them out to read them even though he didn't have time to eat––"wait a minute, if you haven't had time to eat..." you could hear him clear his throat awkwardly, "kuroo you haven't been eating lunch?!"

he laughed awkwardly, "um, i mean, i eat after work––"

"that's not the same!" you rolled your eyes, "i'm coming back over there and i'm bringing you lunch and you're going to eat it, understand?"

he poked his tongue to the side of his cheek. "okay, kitten."

you sighed, "you're lucky i love you."

he leaned back in his chair again, "oh could you bring one of the––"

you cut him off, putting one of the already closed containers back in your bag. "already on it."

he grinned, "god, i love you."

oikawa:

oikawa loves your cooking

and normally he scrambles home after practice to eat it

but this past week training was grueling and tiring, so by the time he came out every day, he was drained mentally and physically

and he was starving

he couldn't wait any longer as soon as he stepped foot out of the gym

so he went to the nearest takeout place, bodega, whatever to get something to eat quickly,, for the whole week

he thought nothing of it

but when he came home every night for a week straight saying he'd already eaten when you tried to offer him the food you spent hours making?

it hurt, a lot

so you decided you'd stop cooking

oikawa was aching to go home––he was exhausted and all he thought about to get him through the day was you, your cooking and your cuddles. he needed all three immediately. when his coach said they were all free to go home, he could almost feel a weight lifting off his shoulders.

he sighed loudly as he stepped into your home, peeling his sneakers off and setting his things aside. he padded into the house, going straight to the kitchen and frowned when you were nowhere in sight. he'd come home a bit early today, around the time you were usually making dinner.

he looked around and walked to the living room, smiling to himself when he found you sitting on the couch, looking for something to watch on tv.

you smiled up at him and greeted him, the sound of your voice making him feel warm inside. "hi baby, how was your day?"

he huffed and slid onto the couch, lying down so his head was in your lap. "don't even talk to me about the day i've had––i was thinking about you the whole time." he took your hand in his and brought it up to his lips to give it a soft kiss. "you got me through it."

he placed one of your hands on his cheek and the other in his hair, mumbling a thank you when you started playing with the slightly damp mess on his head. "mm that feels good baby." he closed his eyes and sighed contently, settling in comfortably to your touch.

after a few moments, he spoke up softly, trying his best not to fall asleep. "what's for dinner?"

"um i'm not sure," your eyes were focused back on the tv as you thought for a moment. "what do you wanna order?"

he paused and cracked one eye open, opening the other when he realized you weren't joking. "wha––order?"

you looked down at him and nodded hesitantly, "yeah? like takeout?"

he sat up abruptly and turned to face you, "what? why?"

you paused this time, unsure of how to respond. "well...every night for the past week you haven't been eating my food. i think it's fair for me to assume you don't want my food anymore."

he felt a piece of himself break on the inside, "oh angel..." he grabbed your hands, "no no––i love your food, you know that––i've just been so tired this week, i couldn't even wait to get home to eat, so i stopped by the nearest places with the boys." he scooted closer to you. "i'm so sorry i made you feel like i didn't appreciate what you do for me––i promise from now on i'll drag myself on my hands and knees if i have to to come home to you and eat––"

you laughed and shook your head, "tooru there's no need for that––"

he cut you off, almost offended. "of course there is! i hurt your feelings baby, i never want to do that again!"

you smiled and pulled him in for a sweet kiss that he quickly melted into. you pulled away to look at him earnestly. "it's okay babe. just...maybe tell me next time? i was just worried you were tired of my food, that's all."

he pulled you into his lap and held you tight. "i could never and will never be tired of anything you do for me, i promise." he kissed your cheek. "though it is my fault, i did miss your cooking this week––but if you're not in the mood to make anything i understand and we can still order––"

you shook your head, "i'll make your favorite, okay?"

he pulled you in for another kiss, "i really don't deserve you."