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tenaciousjalapeno · 1 year ago

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Testing the Cat Lady, Part 4

4/?

Pairing: LA Buggy the Clown x Reader

Summary: The captain asks if you'd like for him to show you around one of his territories. You're happy to oblige, but a little less happy when there's a small misunderstanding with the mayor.

Warnings: language, sexual innuendo

Word Count: 2400

A/N: I feel like the further I get into this, the more I combine anime and LA Buggy (based on the few anime episodes I've seen) so I'm starting to think it can be read either way?

“Territories,” you say flatly. “You have territories.” On the way to his quarters, Captain Buggy popped his head into your room to inform you that the ship would later be docking at a town owned by none other than the genius jester himself. It caught you off guard learning that he had not just one, but several territories throughout the East Blue.

Upon first meeting him, he had stated that his crew was one of the most dreaded in the sea, but you had dismissed it as empty boasting. In your short time on the ship, he had proved to be more than capable as a captain. Cruel at times, but good at his job nonetheless. None of his actions thus far, though, had led you to believe that he was a conqueror as well.

Buggy narrows his seafoam eyes at you. “Yeah. Is that so hard to believe?” He crosses his arms and leans against your doorframe, not once dropping the scrutinizing gaze. The tense man has been in one of his “moods” today, so it feels like one wrong word could send him into a frenzy. Admittedly, there’s something about this teetering mood of his that always pulls you in and makes you want to poke the bear. Never having been on the receiving end of one of his tantrums – as a crew member, at least, – you had always been curious of how far you could push his limits. And of what he would do the day you decide to cross those lines.

However, he had already threatened to stab two people this afternoon, so today was not that day.

“Ah, sorry,” you reply sheepishly. You set the book he had pulled you from on your desk and shift in the wooden chair to face him better, trying to gain a few extra seconds to carefully choose your next words. “It’s not. You just have even more influence than I realized. It’s impressive.” At your compliment, his shoulders relax. Crisis averted, you let out a small sigh of relief.

He looks down at you with bored eyes, barely interested in the conversation now that the fuse has been snuffed out. “There are some decent places to shop and eat, if you’d like me to show you around.”

“Yeah, I would love that.” You give a warm smile. It feels like it’s been ages since you had any sort of outing. And that’s probably because it has been. The only stop that had been made since you were dragged aboard was for business, not pleasure. In and out, staying just long enough to stock up on supplies. Not only that, but the one-on-one time with Buggy might be nice. Save for the brief visits like this one, he’s typically got several crewmates hanging around him at any given time. Despite the lack of privacy, you still enjoy daily chit chat with him and have even started to look forward to it. The combination of his quick wit and a mutual gentle bullying sparks a pull that you can’t seem to get enough of.

For a second, you swear the corners of his mouth tilted upward, if only just a little. Satisfied with the conversation, he lets out a grunt and continues on to his room. Equally satisfied, you settle back into the chair and return to your book. After a beat, a dismembered hand flies into your room, flips a jacket hanging on your coat rack to the floor, then slams the door shut behind it as it returns to the neighboring room. “Hey!”

Buggy smirks to himself as his hand reattaches to his arm.

You’re sure that ths clown is going to send you to an early grave.

The ship finally docks late in the afternoon. Shortly thereafter, you impatiently wait at the ship’s loading ramp for your captain to escort you on land. The date outing has finally given you an excuse to wear some of your nicer clothes that you swore were going to rot on the bottom of the dresser drawer had they been stuck there any longer. It catches the eyes of several of the other crew members, but they disperse as soon as they see Buggy sauntering over. By the same token, he’s dressed sharply in his signature coat and hat, and sports a fresh face of makeup. Having a chance to stretch his legs on dry land puts him in a much better mood than he was earlier. He looks you over, a small grin forming on his face. The other eyes on you moments ago were nothing, but being the center of your captain’s attention makes you feel self-conscious – like you’re being stripped down to your bare ass in front of an audience, but somehow even more nerve-racking. Before you can become too insecure, he interrupts your thoughts. “Cute,” he says, still grinning. “Ready, songbird?” He offers his arm, which you take eagerly with a nod.

The town isn’t huge, but what it lacks in size, it makes up for in liveliness. The arrival of the Buggy pirates sends the town buzzing with excitement. Instead of fearing the pirates, the residents seem… friendly towards them. You look up at your captain with confusion. No clarification is needed on his part. “Some little crew of nobodies had this place under lock and key. We were just going to head back out, until some shithead said something about my nose. Stabbed him and threw him into the sea. Turned out to be the captain. You can probably piece together the rest.” He smiles widely as he tells the story, thinking back fondly to the look on the other guy’s face as he flew out to the water. The cheering of the townspeople was music to his ears, and their admiration inflated his ego to a god-tier. Pieces clicking together in your mind, you realize that it wasn’t that he was a conqueror. It’s that he got lucky while picking a fight. You decide to shrug it off. Either way, a victory is a victory.

Savory smells waft through the air, making your stomach growl. “You said there were some good restaurants, right,” you ask. Earlier in the day, you opted out of lunch to get caught up on your work, and up until you smelled food, you didn’t realize how hungry you were. At this point it doesn’t matter what it was. You had about twenty minutes to get some food in you before you turn into a hangry witch that even a sea king wouldn’t dare cross paths with. “Something that won’t take too long,” you add for good measure.

“Yeah, you hungry? There’s a street vendor ahead that I always stop at if you want something quick. It’s a hot dog stand run by some old guy.” You wouldn’t have marked Buggy as a hot dog guy. From what you’d seen so far, most of what was served on the Big Top was basic meals that could be made in large quantities. Feeding three dozen people didn’t allow much room for five-star meals. Or really anything that had a lot of flavor. It makes you wonder if that’s why the captain is so crabby all the time. Maybe the man just needs a decent snack.

In your youth, it was ingrained in you that some foods were more refined than others, and your parents didn’t want to taint the family’s image by eating cheap meats. Deep down, you now know it was a load of crap, but it was so heavily imbedded in you that you can’t help being reluctant. With all the social rules you’d managed to shake yourself free from, you feel silly to be nervous about such a simple, inconsequential matter. “I don’t know. I’ve never actually had a hot dog before. My parents wouldn’t let me eat that kind of stuff when I was still living with them.”

Buggy stops dead in his tracks. The captain is thoroughly unimpressed with your answer, and his response is thick with sass to drive that fact home. His face twists from a look of disapproval to one of distaste. “Alright, so first of all, your parents sound like old windbags with sticks so far up their asses that they’re basically human kabobs. Secondly, either you come willingly, or I carry you.” Your eyes go wide at his threat. Being carried down the street like a sack of potatoes sounds humiliating, and the thought is even more terrifying knowing that he can, and he will. Quickly nodding in agreeance, you continue the direction in which you were headed. A pleased smile settles on his face. “That’s what I thought.” He’s happy to have gotten his way, but on some level was hoping that you’d refuse. Dragging you kicking and screaming to force feed you hot dogs was exactly his brand of torment for you.

After stopping at the stand and purchasing the food, you take a seat together on a nearby bench. Buggy digs right in, taking care to not smudge his makeup. With how brutish the blue-haired clown is, you regularly forget that he likes to stay clean and presentable. The thought crosses your mind that if it weren’t for the whole being-a-pirate-and-killing-people thing, he’s the type of person that probably would have thrived in the high society that you grew up in. Maybe even the type that your parents would’ve tried to marry you off to. Two bites in, he notices that you haven’t touched your own food. “Eat it, or I’ll make you,” he threatens flatly.

You eye up the hot dog one last time before finally taking a bite. And it’s absolutely delicious. “Oh my gods!” you exclaim. “That’s so good.” Internally, you curse your parents for their stupid dietary rules. Already nearing the end of his own snack, Buggy watches as you inhale yours, being careful to not drip any toppings onto yourself.

A mischievous grin spreads across his face. “Y’know, for someone who’s never had one before, you sure do know how to handle a sausage.” Having a mouthful of food, all you can do is shoot him a dirty look.

After chewing and swallowing, you turn to look your captain dead in the eye. “Have you ever gone a day in your life without being an asshole?” You know he’s actively trying to get you fired up, so it’d be best to ignore him, but a gross comment like that isn’t about to go unchecked. There are a few things that he knows really push your buttons, and the implication of you being a “sausage guzzler” is one of them. Several times before, he’s made the joke knowing that it would become a face-off that’d give him a chance to blow off some steam.

“Oh, come on, songbird. I’m just saying that you look like you’re enjoying the food,” he says, feigning innocence. It’s impossible to tell what’s more annoying: the initial comment or him denying it.

“Even if I believed that, it still wouldn’t change the fact that you’re an asshole,” you snap back. You’re raring to fight, but the voice of an approaching woman has you backing down for now.

“Captain Buggy! I heard that you were docking for a quick stay. It’s always so nice to see you, dear.” An elderly woman looking to be in her 60’s strolls up to the two of you with a friendly smile. She looks well put together, sporting a dress and matching sash.

“The pleasure is all mine, Mayor Whitney.” Buggy rises to great her. You take note of the sudden change in his demeanor. From asshat to charmer in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, no need to stand up for little old me. I just wanted to stop by and welcome you back.” Shifting her attention, she eyes you up and down before smiling even wider. “And you have a partner now! That makes me so happy. You know how I worry about you being alone out at sea.”

Your stomach does somersaults at the mere notion of being involved with Buggy that way. Sure, he’s handsome and charismatic, even captivating some- No, stop that, you squash your own thoughts. The idea had never crossed your mind, but it seemed ridiculous to think that he’d ever be interested in a relationship with you. It’s best to clear things up right away, you decide. “N-no, we’re not-.”

The clown pulls you close to his side with a huge grin and cuts you off. “That’s right! We’ve been seeing each other for a while now. From the moment I met my little show-stopper, I just knew I had to have them by my side.” His blatant lying is annoying, but the mayor seems so happy for the two of you that you don’t have it in you to break her high spirits. However, once she’s gone, you might break something else. Maybe something red and round. Playing along, you smile back and introduce yourself.

“What a lovely name! Well, like the captain here said, I’m Mayor Whitney. Any friend of his is a friend of mine, so don’t be shy in exploring our town. Anyway, I’ll let you two get back to your date. Bye now!” The two of you bid her farewell and she makes her way down the street, turning into a building.

As soon as she’s out of sight, you smack Buggy in the arm. “What the hell was that?” you hiss.

“Weren’t you listening? That was the mayor,” he replies, rubbing his arm. “Y’know, anyone else would be flat on their ass by now for hitting me like that.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.”

He lets out a sigh. “Look, she’s been on my case for years now, saying I need to find someone. Every time we dock here, she’s got someone or another that she tries to set me up with. This’ll keep her satisfied for a while. How about, after you finish your food, I take you to a couple of shops to make up for it? I’ll get you anything you want. Nothing is too good for my main squeeze.” There he goes again trying to irk you. The offer is genuine, though, so you agree with a huff.

“Fine, but I’m picking out the most expensive thing I can find.”

Beaming now, he buckles down. “Like I said. Nothing’s too good for you, darling.”

Ugh.

#buggy live action #buggy the clown #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #captain buggy #one piece #one piece buggy #anime buggy

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laf-outloud · 2 years ago

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//Oh, I don't think it's all on the AAs. In fact, Jensen rarely interacts with them. I think there are plenty of people(mainly the SPN extras, including a few SPN crew), who've boosted his already-present ego by sucking up to him thinking he can get them places in the business. //

What I don't understand is why. Why did so many of the extras and crew (Set design guy, singer, etc) have such a boner for Jensen? I admit he has charm when he wants to. Hell, I started off the show preferring Dean and Jensen, but what I’ve enjoyed is going back through episodes and watching how Jared improves and grows as an actor. I love watching Sam now and find Jared captivating at times, and I find it infuriating how often Jared is blurry in the background in later seasons. Similarly, with cons, I used to love listening to Jensen, but as I really listened, and saw more cons, I realized that he spends most of his time humble-bragging or just bragging-bragging. Jared is the more engaging one, the one who can handle a crowd on his own, the one who cares (as much as a stranger can care about people they meet for seconds), the one who doesn’t talk himself up constantly. Why do so many fans not see this? Or are they just shallow and don’t care? Or they are jealous because the need Jensen to be the "special" one? If so, why?

Partly, it could be Jensen’s looks that get him a pass, but it’s Hollywood, and most people are attractive. Jared is attractive, and he works at maintaining a good physique on top of it. Jensen had some great acting moments as Dean and can really tug at the heart strings, but Jared has range and is a smart actor. Is it just the "flashiness" of the rogue type character that Jensen usually plays that appeals to people?

Obviously, the greater industry knows what’s up, or at least they put huge stalk in actors with first billing, because Jared was the one who got the job offer before his show even ended. Jared was practically wooed into joining Walker because they wanted him so bad. If other industry people value Jared so highly, what the hell is wrong with so many people on Supernatural that they downplay his impact, talent, and intelligence? They constantly write him off. It’s so frustrating! Is Jensen just an incredible suck-up?

I’m so sorry for how long this got. It didn’t start as a rant., I swear.

No worries, anon. I'm long-winded myself so I often find my short posts turning into Tumblr essays.

I think you nailed part of it on the head with your last question: Is Jensen just an incredible suck-up? He's mentioned in the past about being grateful Jared had top billing because that meant Jared had all the responsibility, and if there was an issue, he'd get Jared to address it while he lurked in the background. And you mentioned Jensen's charm. Even fans who aren't so keen on him have mentioned that it's vey disarming when he turns it on. But I think the main draw is that he's more accessible than Jared. Jensen's 'star power' is much closer to the cast and crew who hang on to him. Jared's just out of their league.

There's also the idea other bloggers have tossed around that the crew didn't think Jared was as reliable due to his mental health issues and were worried that his issues would cause them to lose their job. Obviously, it didn't happen for more seasons than most shows get, but I think Jared was the one who decided to end SPN which likely created resentment for those using SPN as their money train.

But for those actors who already had careers outside of SPN, Jared's been very welcoming because he knows they'll appreciate the work without trying to use him for their own gain.

#ask box #anti spn extras #anti jensen #jared's star power

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a-force-dyad-in-space · 7 months ago

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A Fanfic Update

Hey guys, I thought I should give you an update about what's going on Ongoing-WIPs-wise just in case you've had some worries.

The short of it is that the writing juices haven't flowed well for a while now and I'm trying to get them back but it is a struggle. I've worked a bit on this fic or other but haven't made significant progress in a few months. I absolutely hope that will change soon but I unfortunately can't force it. It doesn't help that I'm going through some stuff IRL right now that I have to take care of (I am unfortunately an adult who has to do adulting and pay bills and shit 🥲). I try not to be too stressed out about it, but the more time passes the more the anxiety sets in. Wish me luck. 💪🏻

Anyway, here's a fic-by-fic overview, split up by fandom.

THE UNTAMED

The Angsty SongXue Fic — I'll be honest, I've written a little bit since I last updated you guys but I still haven't finished the buffer chapter (at this point I'm thinking about posting chapter 51 even though 52 isn't done yet), so nothing really new here. I really want to get back into a writing flow but so far it hasn't really worked. I am still working on it, though, so don't worry, I'm not going to drop it.

The It Follows AU — I'm ashamed to say I didn't even realize I posted that fic almost two years ago and I still haven't written the second half. I'm so sorry it's taking so long! I definitely still want to finish it! I might rewatch the It Follows movie before I do that, though.

The Observer Series — Oh yeah, remember that smutfic series I started a few years ago of which I've only posted part 1 so far? Yeah, I still need to work on that. I did write chapter 1 of part 2 a while ago, so it's not like it's forgotten, I just need to get my ass up and write the rest of part 2 before I can post it. 🙈

The Color Rush AU — Okay, technically I haven't posted that one yet but I did share a snippet along with a gifset a few years ago, so you guys know it exists. I haven't worked on it in a long time, though, and I don't know yet when I will find the spoons to continue writing it but I'm still intrigued by the premise and want to give it a go. Thank you for your patience!

The Somewhat Sweet, Somewhat Angsty XuanXian Fic — Again, haven't posted that one yet but I've been posting about it, so you guys know it exists. Nothing new on this front. I did want to rewrite the whole thing because I wasn't really happy with the way I wrote it thus far, so I'll probably go back to it at some point and do that, I just don't know when yet.

WORD OF HONOR

The Xie'er Deserves the World Fic — Listen, guys, I love this fic so much, I just haven't worked on it in a while. I'll probably re-read what I've written so far and go on from there, I've just been struggling with the latest chapter ever since I started writing it years ago. It's not dropped, though, I will get back to it! Pinky swear!

SAILOR MOON

I've mentioned here and there that I'm working on part 1 of an epic that is based on a doujinshi I started when I was 13 or 14. Unlike my other WIPs, this one really is 100% self-indulgent to the point where I don't even care whether people will read/like it once I post it when it's completely done. I'll just put it out there to make my teenage self happy because this story has been simmering in my head for over 20 years, and so that my IRL friends can read it if they want to. So, this one will be a long way out, but it exists. I'm only really mentioning it because I've mentioned it a couple of times before and because it's the fic that's been on my mind the most lately.

STAR WARS

You didn't think I forgot about TROBS, did you????? I did work on several beginnings of a draft during NaNoWriMo last year and I'm getting more and more of a clear picture of how I want it to go. For those unfamiliar, TROBS (or The Rise of Ben Skywalker, though I already changed the name of the fic again) is my attempt at an Episode IX fix-it fic that essentially replaces TROS. This one has been simmering in my head since early 2020 and I really want to get it out of there and onto the page for catharsis. I've even held off on reading any other TROS fix-its because of it, even though I've heard there are some really amazing ones out there (and I can't wait to read them once I've gotten my own out of my damn head). I really need to finally finish that beast. Wish me luck. 🥲

UNPOSTED WIPs

I still have so many notes for other fics (mostly for The Untamed) that I want to write at some point. Will I be able to get them all on the page? I honestly don't know, but I'll see where they take.

Anyway, that's all!

#jen's ramblings #jengwrites

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gregoftom · 1 year ago

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sdfg sorry sorry ignore me fr but omg I forgot how exquisite the marvey angst is in 3x1. oh it's huge it's charged. insane. the hurt, the desire.

and AGAIN after harvey releases his hurt onto mike, mike has sex. and this time it's also by giving the exact honesty to her that he should have given to harvey. like, proxy much??? (and he Also feels the need to mention (be thinking about???) harvey while he's horny and trailing his hand between her legs?)

and omfg more read-behind-the-lines bi harvey propaganda. there's a whole backstory I am conjuring with his opponent this episode because come ON. "I'm sorry, Harvey. Not this time." "Is that what I said to you on Hazelton?" "That was a long time ago. We're not at the D.A.'s office anymore." "I didn't realize our bond had an expiration date." and "Harvey, look. If our bond can't survive me telling you no, then… It didn't mean much to begin with." like I'm sorry your BOND? and that sounds like a consent metaphor to me?? and the way there was flirtation and care and hurt there too, like. these boys fucked around at the DA's office. ANDthen, later scene between them, when he still won't budge for harvey, harvey throws out "Send Carolyn my love." when he leaves like HELLO? was she the other woman in this scenario, harvey?? annnnndd to top it off this is all while the new managing partner at the firm is gay and it's a little hush but harvey and him just know they just get it and each other. (and this is again me behind the lines ig but jessica basically implies to him that harvey might out him and he's just like...nah, because he's fucking clocked harvey I swear it, and yeah lo and behold harvey does no such thing he just shares a smile and head tilt when he tells him he knows. like. this is mlm/mlm solidarity up in here ok.)

andd omfg when harvey's telling scottie (they're not together. it's missed-their-chance trope, but they're great) about how he basically loved her at first sight. he thought she was beautiful, and then heard her smarts and realised her beauty was the second best thing about her. like -- as if that's not exactly how it went with mike fucking ross HELLO. sir you LOVE a beautiful smarty pants and you will love them at first sight goddamn you, you've got a type and a means. (AND in episode of all time 2x10, when harvey gets high with mike, he literally looks into mike's eyes and tells him that his dad believed in love at first sight. like HELLLLOOO.)

aaa and omg mike with the line at the end "I don't wanna be here if I'm not solid with Harvey." and literally giving up his newly gifted office just because maybe it might be one thing on a pile of many that might lead to harvey forgiving him. the boy's whole episode is devoted to wanting to win this man back and it's beautiful and it's tragic in the Sweetest way. and GOD the shots of just them Looking at each other. harvey wants him so bad ffs. (and like. rachel wanting mike to quit. but cue like six shots of mike gazing at harvey and doing everything he can to help harvey whether harvey accepts it or not. this boy is NOT about to quit harvey for anyyyyyything.) (and like. harvey would not be this hurt for anyyyyone ever. it's because he Loves mike. he loves him so bad.)

god god god I am Eating this up and can't wait for all I know is to come because the Love and the angst and the absolute ride or die of these two to each other is somehow only just getting started (and I can't wait for all I've Forgotten, going by how much of this one I'd forgotten and how Good that stuff was holy smokes). and with zero pressure I also hope you get to eat this good good food too at some point heheh

ouuughhhh omg i love that kind of shit like the very OBVIOUS parallels and shots and actions like this, that's some good stufffff omg. and yeah don't worry i will eat the food! when i get round to it i shall, i'm gonna watch ttoi soon and thennnn i will watch suits <3

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can-i-see-your-passport-please · 2 years ago

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I had to go back because I didn’t read the full doc for Do Your Job, and it hurt even more!! Especially that Morse code! Once I realized it said “Help Me, Please Help Me, I’m Sorry” my heart just shattered. And how he didn’t want to die in the end!!

EEEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE YAY!!! I originally added in the long blank space because, and I'm not fucking kidding here, in Hbomberguy's video on fucking CAD (THE COMIC WITH FUCKING LOSS.JPEG) which has horror elements and is genuinely great, there's a part after a whole analysis of the movie The Room I SWEAR NONE OF THIS IS A JOKE where (timestamp 22:54) there's a technical difficulties beep that decreases in pitch- that's what the decreasing squares was meant to be. Benrey dies, and it gets replaced with a long, descending beep, and then morse code. That was the vibe I was trying to get there. I was referencing a serious analysis of the Control Alt Delete webcomic. The comic that spawned from it fucking loss.jpeg.

(MAJOR cw for suicide under the cut as I discuss the last thing anon said)

YEAH because. That's a thing that really happens!! People try to kill themselves and regret it, try to back out. It's not a universal thing, of course, but it is fairly common. (Bojack Horseman had an entire poem about that in its penultimate episode and it's fucking heartbreaking.) And like, that doesn't just get rid of the suicidal thoughts. In my post-canon reunion fics, I've tried to show that even after Xen, Benrey's still suicidal. Like, in You're Still Here (which I consider my magnum opus), during his breakdown he had a whole PARAGRAPH where he just rants about how he should've died on Xen, and then later asks Gordon to kill him.

You get the point. A lot of times, when people try to kill themselves, they freak out and try to back out at the last second (suicides by falling from heights is fairly common, and the example Bojack Horseman uses in the View From Halfway Down poem, which if you can handle listening to it go do it, it's fairly short). And Benrey going "this isn't fair!!" in canon once Passport Guardian starts up is what made me wanna do that with him. Like, before that most of it was "oh noooooo, you're neeeeever gonna kill me, anyway i'm gonna hold up my passport for several seconds and make no attempt to defend myself." But after the final passport got destroyed (and specifically after the SuperPlayer feature was activated), he started freaking out.

My beta reader, when analyzing it, pointed out how that part specifically is horrifying not just because at that point I pulled out all the stops to show his Complete Breakdown, but at this point... It's too late for Benrey to back out. He edited the code to make himself into the final boss. At this point, he can't just go back and fix it, because the game needs a final boss, and the Nihilanth can't be that, BECAUSE IT'S DELETED. They compared it to jumping off a roof, and then screaming for help as you plummet to the bottom. (Except it's not directly jumping off yourself, it's sitting on the ledge and goading people who are angry at you to shove you off the roof.) There's nothing you can do, nothing he can do, nothing the others can (or will) do, because he's implemented his suicide into the fabric of the code.

#tw suicide #suicide #ask to tag #just in case #do your job and keep them safe #cassie writes #asks

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 9 months ago

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Aww hey besties :D

Lol Cheers xD

Ooope nope Jacob doesn't want him to xd

Jacob this looks really suspicious towards You Know What but I'm gonna keep holding out hope xd

It's gotta be a mislead it's gotta be a mislead it's gotta be a mislead please it's gotta be a mislead 😭

As in it has to be please :'))

Also I just realized the detail/irony that the sub took of the bowtie when he left 💀 xD like he didn't tie it on SLFJFHKS XDD this show is so good oh my gosh

ALSO just realized that Jacob could be thinking Gregory's lonely without Janine/sad over her o.o 👀 xD like I genuinely think that could be an explanation

I am denial but I believe in myself :') it'll be okay lol

Believe as in I think I could be right in my denial

Anyway! Continuing on now that I did some things I had to do and got more food

"Water because the drinks here are pricey" 💀 XD Jacob that's such a mood though lol

Jacob no xD

I feel like that would either make him super hyper or, very tired lol

AAAAHHHHHHHHH NO-

AUOGH

AUGH

help

It's because he has a project/deadline he's working on :)!! That's all :D

I swear Jacob please don't continue to elaborate and make this less vague for me

Maybe

They go through a rough patch and Gregory thinks they broke up but it turns out they made up

OR GREGORY BRINGS THEM TOGETHER TO MAKE UP

please guys I need this

Don't do this to me xD

Okay I've spent too long focus (and time but there was a break lol) on the first 20 seconds of this scene xD

I need to get through this I can live I can do it lol

Exactly Gregory it's no big deal :D you're so right for that man :))))))

"Didn't nobody tell you to stay out of gay folks business?" SLDJFHDKS xDD also Jacob as if you don't over share literally every second of the day

I suspect he might be joking though xD

Also maybe this'll mean he won't elaborate 👀👀

Ah so that's an actual saying xD I thought Gregory was gonna believe him for a second lol

aaAAAAHHHHHHH NOOO-

Guys I'm so scared

Help

They're gonna be fine they're gonna be fine they're gonna be fine

Especially because they're telling it now so they wouldn't dare break them up after an episode of trying to figure it out/fix it

. . . would they :')

O.O Okay Jacob chill xD

He looks angry xd

See I'm laughing to hide the pain :')

Okay I need to stop thinking about the future and just enjoy the angst for now lol

Awww Jacob :((( honey 😭 :'(

It'll be alright <3 I don't think it'll be those stages lol

A month??

Oh no longer, two months?-

No wait don't say like a year-

SEVEN MONTHS??!?

SIR 😭😭😭💔

Okay I don't want you to but why have you not broken up already 😭 xd you idiots xD

Also that reminds me of the "a year. . plus another year" when he first mentioned Zach xD :') :') (first is sweet second is help me please) 😭❤️💔

Yeah exactly Gregory xD

JACOB DON'T SAY THAT

Don't you dare say pretending to still be into each other don't you dare-

He's over exaggerating :)) yeah this is fine :))

Okay right enjoy the angst in the moment xd

I'll have two reactions each time lol; one long term one right now xD

Jacobbb honeyyy 😭😭 :((

If it's bc he wants the stability bc Trauma I swear I'm gonna lose it-

In a mostly good way xD

AYY Jacob slay :D

Wait he's been missing hasn't he- YUP SLFKGHSKS

My boy <33

Also that nod/look at the cameraman just reminded me he's there and that makes it hurt so much worse somehow :')

OKAY PHEW I MADE IT THROUGH

I swear if this entire episode is Gregory helping Jacob plan how to break up with Zach I'm gonna lose it-

Maybe in doing all that he'll realize how much he still loves him :'))

Sorry guys I'm not okay xD

OKAY LOL back to the rest of the episode after that one and a half minute scene xD 💀

#abbott elementary #ae #oasis's ae chatter #that was an unhealthy length 💀 /lh xD

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ronniesqueen · 5 years ago

Text

A Journey To Find True Love

We start off with Archie as the bachelor, Ronnie is in his season. The story progresses, and she becomes the next bachelorette after he finishes his season. Both of them go on their journey to find true love.

I will be writing this AU in the form of a tv show. Since, we all know that “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” are reality tv shows.

Okay. Without further ado, Buckle up, buckerooos!

Night One.

Night One. Archie’s season.

(setting: Andrews Household.)

Everyone moves at a different pace. How long does the average adult sleep at night? 8 hours? 6 hours? 12 hours? I would imagine that it varies based on what that person has planned the following morning, or what time they fell asleep the previous night. Now, let me ask you a better question. How long does it take for the average adult to fall in love? One year? Six months? Two years? Or does that vary on the duration of time spent together?

For Archie Andrews, this needs to be done in six weeks. When he had been announced as the bachelor, it was a moment of excitement, followed by a moment of apprehension. Could he find true love? Is it even possible to fall in love in six weeks?

“How do you feel?” Fred Andrews asked his son, entering Archie’s bedroom. Watching Archie put together his suit and tie.

“I’m nervous. I don’t know what to expect,” Archie confessed.

“You could be engaged six weeks from now,” Fred added. “Do you think that’s something you’re ready for?”

Archie smiled. “Absolutely. I’m ready to settle down, start a family. Maybe I’ll meet my wife tonight. I’m hopeful.”

Chris Harrison, host of The Bachelor, entered the room. “Archie? Your limo is here.”

Archie gave his dad a hug. “This is it. See you in six weeks.”

“Good luck son. Go get her.”

(setting: Outside Bachelor Mansion)

Once Archie arrived at the Bachelor Mansion, he stood outside.

Waiting for the limo to arrive.

In this limo, he was expecting 10 women.

He took deep breaths. In, and out.

A fresh breeze swept through the leaves, giving Archie the last push he needed when finally, the limo arrived.

As the door opened, he saw a beautiful woman, with long red hair, and a sparkling red gown, exit the limo and began walking towards him.

“Hey! How are you?” He said to her as she approached him.

“I’m doing exceptionally well, how are you?” she responded, greeting him with a hug.

“Good,” Archie said. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Cheryl Blossom, and I have to say, it’s so lovely to finally meet you. You look so handsome,” she commented with a flirty, inviting smile.

“Thanks, you look beautiful. I love that dress,” he flirted right back.

“Why thank you. Red is my signature,” She said with a wink.

“I don’t think I’ve seen anybody look that good in red until now,” he chuckled, giving her another hug. “Alright well, I’ll see you inside okay?”

“Yes you certainly will,” she said, blowing him a kiss as she walked away from him and into the mansion.

Archie smiled. “She was gorgeous,” he whispered to himself.

He turned around to face the limo.

His jaw dropped.

A strikingly beautiful woman, with dark hair, and silver silk gown exit the limo and begin to walk towards him.

“Hello!” He said to her as she approached him.

“Hey there,” she said, greeting him with a hug. He was able to smell her vanilla scented perfume. “My name is Veronica Lodge. And I just want to say that I’m genuinely looking forward to getting to know you, and your heart, on this journey together.”

Archie smiled. “Same here. I can’t wait to get to know you on a deeper level.” He gave her another hug. “Alright, I’ll catch up with you inside.”

“Sounds amazing,” she said, walking away from him, and entering the mansion.

He watched her walk away, still smiling.

It wasn’t until he heard the footsteps of the next woman, that he turned around to face the limo.

“Hey Archie! I’m Ethel,” a woman with short red curly hair said, approaching him. “It’s so good to meet you!”

“Hi Ethel! Likewise,” Archie said, giving her a hug. “I’m digging the bow.”

Ethel giggled, “Thank you, it’s my favorite.”

“That’s cute. I really like your name. It’s unique,” Archie said, smiling.

Ethel started to blush, “I like your name a lot too!”

“Alright, I’ll see you in there okay?” He said, giving her another hug

“Okay great!” She said, beaming widely as she walked away from him, and entered the mansion.

As she grew out of earshot, he said to himself, “Aww, she was so sweet.”

Chris Harrison walked over to Archie. “You’ve just met three of your women. How do you feel?”

“I’m okay! I really am. They’re making this a lot easier for me. I really appreciate that,” Archie responded, with a genuine smile.

“Okay good. Because you have seven more to go.”

(setting: Confessional Booth)

“Meeting Archie was an absolute dream. The red headed Ansel Elgort. I’m beyond thrilled to start this journey with him. I’ve tried every flavor of boy but orange,” Veronica said, giggling.

(setting: Outside Bachelor Mansion)

“So far these women have been so great. Nobody’s done anything too crazy yet,” Archie chuckled to himself.

When....suddenly...

“Now I’m speechless. Over the edge, I’m just breathless. I never thought I could catch this, lovebug again,” Archie heard an angelic voice sing.

He looked all around him, searching for where the singing was coming from. She then came out of the limo, a beautiful woman with a turquoise sequin dress, and started to approach him.

“Hopeless. Head over heels in the moment. I never thought I could get hit by this love bug again,” she sang.

“Wow, you are just...” He was at a loss for words. “Wow.”

She giggled. “I’m Josie. I know you’re meeting a lot of women tonight, but I wanted you to know, that music is what I’m truly passionate about.”

He smiled. “I love that. I’m actually very passionate about music too.”

“Are you?” She giggled.

“I am,” he began. “I play the guitar, and I sing. Maybe we can jam together sometime.”

“I’m up for it, as long as you try to keep up,” she said, with a wink.

“I’ll do my best,” he chuckled.

She gave him a hug. “I’ll see you inside, Justin Gingerlake,” she said playfully, letting out a cute giggle.

He laughed, as she walked away from him and into the mansion. “She was amazing,” he whispered to himself, watching her walk away.

******Commercial Break*******

(setting: Outside Bachelor Mansion)

Archie turned to face limo when he noticed someone in a giant sloth costume walking towards him. “Um....hey?” He chuckled nervously.

After a few minutes of the sloth moving very slowly, the sloth removed their mask, revealing a very beautiful woman with black curls and a dark violet lipstick. “Hey Archie. My name’s Valerie. And I know this costume seems crazy, but this was just my way of showing you, that in relationships I do like to take things slow. I want for us to move on our on pace, and not rush into things we’re not ready for.”

He smiled. “I really appreciate you being honest with me, Valerie. More than anything, I want an engagement at the end of this. I want to be able to get down on one knee, knowing that we’re both serious about each other, and that we want the same things, and give the relationship time to reach that point.”

She blushed. “I’m glad you understand. And I’m really looking forward to this experience with you.”

“So am I,” he said, still smiling. “I’ll find you inside, okay?” he said, giving her a hug.

“I’ll be waiting,” she giggled, as she walked away from him, and entered the mansion.

(setting: Confessional Booth)

“This girl just walked into the mansion, wearing a sloth costume... and I’m like, what in the world?” Cheryl said, laughing. “Sweetie, you’re making a fool out of yourself in front of Archie, in front of the other women, and on national television. I won’t be surprised if she doesn’t get a rose tonight.”

(setting: Outside Bachelor Mansion)

“I brought you candy hearts,” Melody Valentine began. “Because I want to ask you, if you would be my valentine?” she laughed.

Archie laughed. “I see what you did there!”

He gave her a hug. “I will gladly accept these candy hearts. And, of course I’ll be your valentine.”

She giggled. “I’ll see you inside.”

As she walked away from, he took a bite from one of her candy hearts. He smiled, “How did she know I love chocolate?” he chuckled to himself.

He put away the candy hearts when he saw a very pretty brunette with side bangs and edgy black dress walking towards him.

“How are you?” He called to her.

“Hey, I’m great! How are you?” she responded.

“I’m good, it’s so great to meet you,” Archie said, greeting her with a hug.

“You too! My name’s Midge Klump. And, I know it’s generally your duty to give out roses to us, but...I thought I’d change the game a little and give you this. Archie, will you accept this rose?” she laughed, pulling out a ravishing rose from behind her back.

He chuckled. “Yes, I will accept this rose.”

Thank you,” she giggled.

Archie gave her another hug. “Meet you inside?”

“Can’t wait,” she said, walking towards the mansion.

(setting: Confessional Booth)

“Everyone’s been really chill so far. I know there’s only three girls left for Archie to meet, so right I’m just kinda nervously waiting for that one girl to show up. The girl who’s gonna stir the pot and cause drama. I’ve seen this show before. So now I’m just waiting for that girl to show up,” Ethel laughed.

(setting: Outside Bachelor Mansion)

“You.....brought me a dog?” Archie laughed nervously.

“It’s not just any dog, this is one the best showdogs in Riverdale. You only deserve the best,” an attractive woman said, wearing a pink dress with feathers all around the hips.

“Ha, thanks” Archie said. “What was your name again?”

“Katherine.”

“Right, okay. Well I’ll see you inside, okay?” he said, giving her a hug.

“Without a doubt you will.”

She walked away. Immediately Chris Harrison approached Archie, taking the dog. “Thank you,” Archie whispered.

“I got you,” Chris said, patting Archie on the back.

As Chris walked away, Archie had lost the ability to speak.

He saw an exquisite, graceful, beautiful blonde woman walking towards him, wearing a rose gold sparkly gown, and carrying a small box.

“H-H-Hey. How are you?” he asked, instantly smitten.

“I’m good! How are you?” She asked. She paused. “I”m Betty Cooper.”

“Nice to meet you Betty,” Archie said, giving her a hug. “What’d you got there?” he asked, smiling.

“I’m so nervous right now, I have so many butterflies,” She giggled.

He smiled.

“No I literally have butterflies,” She said, opening the box, revealing many plastic butterflies.

Archie laughed. “No more butterflies,” he said, playfully tossing some of them on the ground.

Betty laughed, and poured all of the plastic butterflies out of the box. “I guess that takes care of all my butterflies” she sang playfully.

“No I still feel like I have some butterflies,” Betty giggled.

“So do I” Archie said, beaming. He found himself blushing.

She gave him another hug. “See you in there?”

“I’ll find you,” he said, still smiling, as she walked away.

He looked at the ground, picked up one of the butterflies, and placed it in his coat pocket.

(setting: Confessional Booth)

“I could tell that Archie was nervous, but I think he’s just nervous for this whole experience in general. But I think he’s handling himself really well so far,” Betty said, giggling.

(setting: Outside Bachelor Mansion)

“I know you’re meeting a bunch of women tonight,” Ginger Lopez said. “So, I brought you this bag of cinnamon, so you can remember me as Sweet Ginger.”

Archie laughed. “I definitely will. Alright, I’ll see you inside.”

She walked away, skipping in joy.

Chris Harrison walked over to Archie. “You, sir, just met all ten of your women.”

“It was really fun,” Archie said.

“So, I’m going to give you this,” Christ said, giving Archie a rose. “This is the first impression rose. Give this to the woman who truly stood out to you. And that women will be safe from elimination at your first rose ceremony.”

“Sounds good,” Archie said, taking the rose.

As Chris walked away, Archie thought long and hard about who he wanted to give this rose to.

(setting: Bachelor Mansion, living room. All of the women are sitting on the couches, drinking champagne. Waiting for the rose ceremony.)

“You...you got him a dog?” Ginger asked.

“I sure did,” Katherine said, proudly.

“I could’ve done a lot more than just a bag of a cinnamon…” Ginger whispered to herself.

“Eh. You could’ve done worse,” Cheryl said, looking over at Valerie, who at this point had changed out of her sloth costume and into a purple strapless gown.

Valerie caught her glance. “You can say whatever you want. But it’s up to Archie whether or not he’ll give us a rose.”

“At least I don’t need an insane costume or a gift to be memorable.”

Archie entered the room. “Hey, ladies. You all look so beautiful.”

All the women smiled at Archie. He looked at Valerie. “Can I steal you away for a minute?”

She smiled. “Of course you can.”

(setting: Confessional Booth)

“I don’t think any of us were happy to watch them walk away together. We knew it meant one of two things. Either she’s getting the first impression rose, or he’s sending her home early because he knows he could never be in serious relationship with someone who shows up in a ridiculous costume,” Katherine said, smirking.

(setting: Outside by the fountain)

“It really meant a lot to me, how open you were about what you want. One of the things I really look for in a woman, is someone who is determined and strong. Someone who not only has her heart in the right place, but also is considerate of what I want, too,” Archie said, holding her hand.

“I agree. I really do believe that complete transparency and compassion is what keeps relationships healthy. But I also want us to be able to communicate in a way that, we both listen and understand how the other person feels,” she said, smiling.

“Absolutely. That’s what I want, too,” Archie said, pulling out the rose from behind him. “I’m really looking forward to this journey with you, and I hope that we can change each other for the better. Valerie, will you accept this rose?”

She smiled. “Without a doubt.”

The two leaned in for their first kiss.

(setting: Rose Ceremony)

Veronica, Ethel, Cheryl, Ginger, Melody, Josie, Betty, Midge, Katherine, and Valerie entered the room. There were seven roses on the table.

Archie entered the room. “Before I go into this, I just want you all to know, it was such a huge honor to meet all of you. And if you don’t get a rose tonight, that doesn’t mean that you aren’t amazing. I just have to go with my heart, and I do feel confident in the decisions that I made.”

He picked up the first rose. Took a deep breath. “Josie.”

Josie walked over to him. “Josie, will you accept this rose?” Archie asked.

“How else are we supposed to jam together?” she asked playfully as she accepted his rose, and went back to her spot.

He picked up the second rose. “Ethel.”

Ethel’s eyes widened in disbelief. “I’m shocked. Everyone else is so beautiful.”

“And so are you,” Archie said. “Ethel, will you accept this rose?”

“Of course.”

Archie picked up the third rose. “Melody.”

Melody walked over to him. “Melody, will you accept this rose?”

“I have to, you’re my valentine.”

Archie grinned as he picked up the fourth rose. “Veronica.”

Veronica walked over to him. “Veronica, will you accept this rose?”

“I’d be happy to, Archiekins.”

Archie chuckled, and picked up the fifth rose. “Cheryl.”

She walked over to him. “Cheryl, will you accept this rose?”

“It’s my greatest pleasure to accept this rose.”

Archie laughed as he picked up the sixth rose. “Betty.”

Betty walked over to him. “Betty, will you accept this rose?”

“Absolutely, Arch.”

He blushed. Then took a deep breath. Last rose of the night.

Katherine, Midge, and Ginger were intently watching him pick up the rose.

Archie shut his eyes for a moment. Then he opened them.

“Midge.”

Midge walked over to him. “Midge, will you accept this rose?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Chris Harrison entered the room. “Ladies, if you did not get a rose, I’m sorry. Take a moment. Say your goodbyes.”

Ginger walked over to Archie, and gave him a hug. “Good luck with everything.”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

Katherine walked over to Archie. “I’m sorry you don’t see how much a wifey I am. Your loss,” she said, rolling her eyes and exiting the mansion.

Archie laughed. He looked at the remaining women. He raised a glass. “Cheers to a wonderful journey to find true love. I can honestly say, my wife is in this room.”

“Cheers!” the women said in uinison.

------------END CREDITS-------

#jeronica #barchie #ronniesqueenAU #I just realized how long this was and I'M SORRY I SWEAR THE SECOND EPISODE WON'T BE THIS LONG #varchie #archosie

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jwcnsz · 2 years ago

Text

enhypen as cliché movie tropes (hyung line)

ʜʏᴜɴɢ ʟɪɴᴇ | ᴍᴀᴋɴᴀᴇ ʟɪɴᴇ

enhypen hyung line x gn!reader

warnings; angst (only in hoon's part), swearing

word count; 1k+

a/n; finally writing something!! it's not the best but i've always wanted to write something like this... it's pretty long too but still i hope u guys like it <33

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

heeseung; bond over music

you first saw him at your go-to record shop, watching as he skimmed through the vinyl discs. he stopped and picked up your favorite album of all time: hounds of love by kate bush. you walked over to him and asked "you like that album too?" he turned to look at you with a small smile. "never heard it actually. i'm trying to listen to new music and this album just looks interesting..." he looked back at the album in his hands. "i recommend it. it's my personal favorite! i could also give you more recommendations if you like." you smiled at him. you kept looking at his eyes. they're so big and pretty, you're genuinely getting lost in his eyes. you're absolutely mesmerized. the sound of his voice brought you back to reality. "sorry what did you say?" you stuttered out. he giggled at you're actions. oh my god. the giggles. "i asked what your name is." he giggled out. oh. OH. "oh, i'm y/n! you?" you said enthusiastically. why the fuck were you being enthusiastic about your name? whatever, too late now. "y/n, huh? sounds pretty nice. i'm lee heeseung." lee heeseung. i like it. "okay lee heeseung... how about i help you look around for more music, hm?" you suggested. "well why not?" he said as he turned to look for more albums. you both knew this was gonna end well.

jay; love at first sight

it's crazy how you've only seen this man once in your entire fucking life and you're already head over heels for him. you're on a flight to seattle, somehow being seated next to the most beautiful man you've ever seen. yes. beautiful. you kept staring at him not realizing he was now looking at you. "can i help you?" he whispered. oh shit. "i'm sorry! i just... nothing. sorry about that." you apologized. the embarrassment was so strong, you literally wanted to walk to the emergency exit and fly out. "you're fine..." he said putting on his headphones and looking back at his laptop. you noticed he was watching your favorite show. he was already on one of the later episodes too... you tap his arm and ask "you like that show?" he looked at you and stayed silent until he realized what you asked. "oh! yeah i do. it's my favorite show and honestly always will be." he softly laughed. you smiled. he's hot, nice, has a pretty laugh, AND has good taste?? an absolute keeper in your eyes. "i love that show too... how about we watch it together one day?" you raised your eyebrows as the sentence left your mouth. real smooth, y/n. good fucking job. he froze for a few seconds before laughing. "sure... but first your name." "y/n. and who are you?" you asked with a smile. "jay." he responded to you. "hm, nice to meet you, jay." "and nice to meet you, y/n." you for sure got his number as soon as you got off that plane.

jake; boy next door

you watched as your new next door neighbors moved in. they had boxes and boxes of things and you were sick of all the noise they were making. i can't just go out there and tell them to shut up, can i? probably not. you kept looking around to see if you could see someone around your age. you finally saw a boy around your age step out of the house. he looked tall-ish and had two toned hair. if you were being honest he looked... hot. you're insane, you haven't even met the guy. you don't even know his name! as soon as you thought that you heard someone call out for someone else. "jake!" a voice yelled. the boy looked in the direction of the voice. "yeah?" he yelled back. the rest of their conversation blurred itself in your mind. jake... well at least i know his name now. you didn't notice the boy looking up at your window and making eye contact with you until he waved. oh my god. he WAVED. you wave back a bit embarrassed about getting caught staring. he smiles and sends a wink your way. your eyes widen and watch as he walks away. "jake, huh? i should get to know him..." you muttered out. and that you did.

sunghoon; first heartbreak

you and sunghoon have been dating for a couple of years. ever since sophomore year actually. he's your first boyfriend and you're his first ever partner so it all meant so much. life's been good, you're happy, sunghoon is happy. everything's perfect. until it all fell apart. you felt him be more distant and cold. like he didn't like you anymore. of course, every time you asked if he loved you, he would answer with a "of course, how could i not?" for months you believed him and just thought it was you. but it really wasn't and you'd had enough. you sat him down and got ready to ask the question you both dreaded. "so... i need honesty from you. please tell me the truth. i promise i won't be mad but i need answers, sunghoon." he nodded at this, feeling anxious for what's to come. you took a deep breath. "sunghoon, do you still love me?" silence filled the room. he didn't say a word and neither did you. "i... i'm sorry, y/n." he whispered out. you just shook your head. "i get it. we all fall in love and then out of love, right? it was only a matter of time." you whispered the last part. he stood up and faced you. "i feel horrible and i'm so, so sorry. but i think it's time we moved on, yeah?" he choked out. he may not be in love with you but he still feels like shit for doing this to you. you let a tear fall and nodded. "just, just one hug. please." you whimpered out. he hugs you. it's so cold. so... meaningless. you both move away from each other and you watch as he walks out the front door. after that you just couldn't love someone else. you couldn't love someone like you loved him. like you loved park sunghoon.

taglist <3; (if u wanna be tagged send a message/ask!)

reqs are OPEN!

#enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #jay x reader #jake x reader #heeseung x reader #sunghoon x reader #enhypen angst #enhypen hyung line

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babymetaldoll · 4 years ago

Text

DIWK - Chapter one: "Yes, I'm a genius"

Word count: 10,5 K

Warnings: Cursing, but it's mostly a fluffy nerdy start to our story. Mentions of the L.D.S.K episode (Season 1, E06) and A real Rain (Season 1, E17).

Summary: Spencer meets the BAU new member, a young S.S.A. who happens to be just as nerdy as he is. (Y/N) is excited to join her dream job finally, but she is decided to create an imaginary barrier between her personal life and her job 'cos she doesn't want to make the same mistakes her father had done.

A/N: It's happening!!! I'm so excited!! I'm sorry it's gonna be long, so I hope you enjoy the ride 💕. Let me know what you think!

Series Masterlist

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

Spencer's point of view

I remember everything that happened the day (Y/N) first arrived at the BAU. It was Monday, November 7th, 2005. Morgan had teased me for a whole week already, as soon as Hotch told us a new member of the team had been selected.

I first saw her when she had her last interview with Aaron and Gideon. My eyes were glued to her from the moment she stepped into the bullpen, and of course, Derek saw me.

- "What caught your eye, kid?"- he asked, walking to my desk. He sat on it and cut me one of his smirks, telling me he knew something was going on. I cleared my throat, trying to turn to my pile of paperwork, going through the papers, and narrowing my eyes, pretending to read.

- "What?"- I know I couldn't fool him, but at least I tried.

- "Do you know her?"

- "Who?"- Morgan looked at me in silence. He knew I knew what he was talking about- "The... no, Hotch is talking with someone..."

I was completely flustered.

- "That I can see, do you know her?"

- "No..."- I whispered and looked over again, this time staring at the scene inside the office, trying to figure out what they were talking about.

I could see (Y/N) smiling at Hotch, and he... smiled back, which still surprises me. Our Unit Chief never smiles in the office, and somehow, (Y/N) always manages to make him grin and express tenderness. I guess that's one of the things about her I love, the way she always manages- somehow, I still don't know how- to make everybody around her happy. Especially me. I had never been as happy as I've been since I met her.

- "Hey, Hotch!"- Morgan waited until she was into the elevator to call Aaron and start asking questions- Who is she?

- "That's Supervisory Special Agent (Y/F/N) (Y/S/N) (Y/L/N), and she is going to be part of the team, starting next week."

My heart stopped. (Y/N) was gonna work with me. I was never going to have another intelligible thought or idea if she was going to be around. Of that, I was sure.

Derek turned to me with a grimace of taunt as I tried my best to look away and hide my red blushed cheeks. Damn it. I hate it when he makes me feel like a kid. He did that then, and he still manages to do it now, even when I'm already thirty years old.

- "Did you hear that, pretty boy?"- I was so glad it was just him and Hotch. I didn't want anyone else to listen to that conversation- "You are going to get many chances to talk with that pretty girl."

- "We are going to have to go through the fraternization policy then."- Hotch joked. Yes, he joked and smiled as he walked away.

I could barely talk or even look at her during her whole first day. I was so embarrassed that week 'cos I had just failed my firearm qualification, and I knew everybody was judging me. At least that's how I felt. It didn't work that Morgan welcomed me that morning with a freaking whistle. I felt like the mockery of a Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and of all days, (Y/N) had to arrive that morning.

We had a long briefing that day, JJ catching (Y/N) up with a few cases we were reviewing, and Hotch gave her the proper induction to the team. Penelope loved her. It was friendship at first sight.

- "I'm so happy you are here to stay! There aren't enough girls here at the BAU!"- she nearly squeaked as soon as we left the meeting room- "I want to know everything about you! We are going to be best friends. I can feel it!"- (Y/N) smiled at Garcia and nodded.

- "If you are a cat lover and a sucker for nerdy things, then I guess we are already family."

Her answer made Penelope shriek in excitement as I walked back to my desk quickly. I knew Derek wasn't going to waste the chance to embarrass me in front of her, and I needed to avoid it no matter what.

- "Considering it's your first day, and so far we haven't got a case, I say we should all have lunch together. There's a small place nearby"- Morgan smiled sweetly at (Y/N), and she nodded.

- "I'd love to."

- "Spencer here was just telling me how he wanted to know how you got to the BAU so young; he is excited not to be the team's baby anymore"- I turned to Morgan slowly. I swear he could feel the daggers from my eyes.

- "How old are you?"- she asked, and her smile left me speechless. I tried to answer, but I couldn't make any sound but an awkward stutter.

- "He's twenty-four"- Elle had to answer for me, 'cos I had literally lost all my verbal abilities- "His birthday was a few weeks ago."

- "Congratulations! I'm twenty-four too! I'm so happy I'm not the youngest! My brother teased me about it for the last couple of days and got me all freaked out."

She looked so happy to be there. When you spend day after day surrounded by the worst of humankind, you seem to enjoy and appreciate the little gentle things in life. Her excitement was one of those. It was refreshing.

- "That's..."- it was so hard to pronounce any word at that moment. I was flustered and mortified 'cos I was making a fool out of myself.

- "That's great."

That was all I managed to say. Then, I looked down at the papers on my desk, doing my best to avoid any conversation. JJ and Elle talked to her for a few more minutes before returning to their duties, and Derek tapped my back as he walked to his desk.

- "Way to go, Romeo."

- "Shut up."

We never made it for lunch that day, 'cos we were called for a case in Illinois, and I was embarrassed in front of (Y/N) for the very first time. The first of many.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I could never forget the day I met Spencer. We were just kids. We were both twenty-four, and that was the first thing that caught everybody's attention on my first day at the BAU. We were the youngest, though he was a genius. I was an average kid who graduated high school at sixteen, got good grades at college, and got into the academy at twenty. Somehow I managed to kick ass until I got the position of my dreams in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I felt too young and inexperienced to be there, but seeing Reid's face made me feel a little better.

Hotch introduced me to everybody: Morgan, JJ, Elle, Penelope, Gideon -the legend- and Doctor Spencer Reid. He didn't shake my hand, explaining he has a "germs thing." I waved and said I understood him because I've always had a "hug thing," so we are both on the same page.

- "I don't like people touching me if we are not close friends or family."- I explained, and he smiled right away. That smile. It lit up my days for years to come.

- "Me neither, so don't worry, I'm not gonna try to touch you"- I bit my lips as I nodded, and his cheeks turned blood red with embarrassment immediately

- "Sorry, I mean, I'm not going to do anything that might bother you, like hugging you or..."

- "Don't worry, Dr. Reid, I understood what you were trying to say"- he kept nodding and excusing himself, and I tried not to laugh. He seemed to be so nervous it was endearing.

- "You... you can call me Spencer, or Reid"- he added- "You don't need to call me doctor."

- "You can call me (Y/N)"- and he nodded again, looking like a ten years old kid.

I remember clearly that second, right away, I thought he could be my new best friend. There was something about him that made me want to get closer to him.

- "Great! Now we've got two weird kids."- Morgan quickly said, chuckling, and I frowned at his words. I wanted to give him the snarkiest answer, but I remembered it was my first day, and I was still trying to give a good impression to my new coworkers, so I just stared.

- "You know, treating them like kids won't make you look wiser."- Elle whispered, though I heard her perfectly, as Hotch called to the briefing room.

- "I'm just joking with them! Don't you get a joke?"

I thought it was rude to joke around with someone you had just met, but soon after that, I realized Derek Morgan meant no harm. He was like that. And soon, he became the older brother I never thought I was going to need at work. After all, it was my first official job, and it was a very stressful one.

My first case was nerve-wracking. Gideon snapped in front of me, and I felt I wasn't helping at all catching the sniper. We are not supposed to use that word, but fuck it. Besides, Spencer and Hotch were kept hostage by the unsub. And Aaron had to beat the shit out of Reid to save all the hostages. Reid was so embarrassed, and I was so scared.

Scared of looking weak in front of my team. Afraid of not deserve being at the BAU.

I remember Elle brought me a coffee on the jet on our way back and said the words that resonated in my head when she left.

- "No one expects you to be perfect at what you do. We just need someone who gives the best every day."

I looked into her eyes and nodded. That was one of the few intimate conversations we had. Elle wasn't the one to open her heart and share her feelings. But she was always someone who could tell you the truth and support you when you needed it.

- "Hey! Reid!"- I waved at him from my car as I stopped next to him outside the BAU. It was already two in the morning, and he was outside the main building waiting for a cab.

- "Hey (Y/N)."- he whispered as I rolled up the window and looked at him.

- "Do you need a ride?"

- "No... no, thank you"- he hesitated and waved- "I already called a cab."

- "Are you sure? it's gonna start raining any minute now."

And just as I predicted, a few seconds later, Spencer's glasses were covered with tiny drops of water. He smiled and took a step closer to the car, opened the door, and got in.

- "Th... thank you"- he whispered as I smiled

- "It's ok, I couldn't let you there, on your own, waiting for a cab, not after coming back from a case."

- "I'm ok..."- maybe he thought I was implying the beating he got from Aaron earlier that day, so I did my best to tell him otherwise.

- "I bet you are, but it's fucking freezing, and we are all tired. There's no way you are waiting for a cab if I can drive you over... what about your car, by the way?"

- "I'm not a fan of driving; I take the subway to work every day."

- "Really? Why not?"- I was surprised by his answer, but I was way more surprised we were talking, finally.

- "I don't know, I don't feel comfortable driving... the guys say I'm weird."

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. He looked so nervous it made me feel bad. Maybe I had done something that had bothered him and never noticed it.

- "That's not weird"- my voice was soft, trying to calm him down. Spencer looked like a scared kitten sitting on my car's passenger seat.

- "If you don't like driving, that's ok... I don't like talking on the phone with people. It makes me anxious for no reason."- I confessed, keeping my eyes on the road. But I know he turned to me and nodded.

- "That's completely normal. It's called "telephone phobia" or "phone phobia," which refers to the irrational fear or discomfort with speaking over the phone. Psychologists believe that this condition is related to social anxiety, which causes a person to avoid situations where they will need to act. Making a call is essentially a performance, and some people dread making a mistake, freezing up, being ridiculed, or not being able to perform in front of an audience."

- "Really?"- he just nodded and kept his eyes on the road- "I didn't know it had a name! My insurance should cover it."

And he finally laughed, which made me feel he was maybe a little more relaxed around me.

- "This is me."- he announced, and I parked outside his building. It was a nice place, and conveniently, it was very close to my house.

- "Great! I live just a few blocks away. I can give you a ride to work whenever you want"- I might have sounded a little more excited than I should have, but I wanted to be friends with him. He was the closest in age with me at work, and he looked so shy and friendly. He was a magnet. Spencer Reid was calling for my friendship. I could feel it.

- "Th.. thanks"- he stuttered and nodded as he opened the door and step out of the car- "Thank you, again."

- "You are very welcome!"- I answered with a big smile. He stared at me for another second and waved before turning around, basically running into the building.

I wish I could go back in time to those days. Everything was more uncomplicated, we were getting to know each other, and everything was brand new: Reid's rambling, my bad jokes. I miss that. I miss us.

It wasn't easy to get close to Spencer. It wasn't easy to get close to the team, probably 'cos I was overthinking every single thing I did. In my first couple of weeks, I was as friendly as I have ever been and made my best to be the (Y/N) I had to be as an FBI Agent. I was making a tremendous effort to fit it. I was nervous and walking on eggshells the whole time. Every time Hotch talked to me, I was sure he would tell me I was fired. When Gideon looked at me, I was sure he thought I was the dumbest agent he had ever met. And every time I spoke at the morning briefings, I just could feel Spencer thinking I was stupid.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I was looking for you!"- Penelope ran into me outside the lady's room and jumped on my face, making me scream- "Sorry!"

- "It's ok, you just almost killed me of a heart attack, but that's ok... I'll survive."- I joked as I kept feeling my heart jumping in my chest.

- "Sorry, I'm just excited 'cos everybody is in for a little gathering tonight at my house. I need to give you a proper welcome! You've already been here for nearly a month, and we still don't get to know much of you."

Hanging out with my coworkers outside the office was strange. Not that I didn't want to get to meet them, it's just that... they were FBI agents. Sure, so was I, but it was my first official Supervisory Special Agent job, and I was only twenty-four. There were so many of my teenage days I still wasn't ready to let go. And so much of it, I didn't want them to know.

- "Sure!"- I replied and smiled at her face lighting up. You could tell Penelope was excited to host a party at her house.

- "Great! Tonight! my place! I'll text you the address! you have to be there!"

- "I will, I swear!"

Spencer's point of view

Oh, man! The first time I actually talked to (Y/N) was on a get-together Penelope organized at her apartment a few weeks after (Y/N) joined the team. Garcia made an effort to make her feel welcome, she even invited Elle, and we all knew those two weren't incredibly close.

Derek drove Elle and me to Penelope's, and I was mortified every minute I spent in that car. He wouldn't stop teasing me, and Elle asked over and over if I had a crush on (Y/N).

- "No! I don't have a crush on her! can you knock it off?!"- I finally snapped as I got off the car outside Garcia's building.

- "Just because she is my age doesn't mean I have or should have a crush on her! she is our new colleague! so please! Stop!"

I slammed the door and walked inside. Did I make an unnecessary scene? Yes, but I couldn't handle anything better at that moment. They were driving me crazy.

- "Welcome! Welcome!"- Penelope opened the door and invited us in. (Y/N), and JJ were already there, holding a beer and laughing. I stared at the two of them and knew I wasn't going to say a word the whole evening.

Back then, I still had a small crush on JJ. We had a terrible date after Gideon gave me tickets for a football game with her favorite team. That was his way to encourage me to ask her out, which I did... but apparently, I sucked at it, 'cos she never got it was a date and invited Penelope to come along. Worst date of my life. But still, I got flustered around her, and my mind kept coming back to her from time to time.

- "So, pretty girl, why did you want to be part of the FBI?"- Morgan asked her after a while of small talk. She was sitting on Garcia's coach, next to our host and JJ. I turned to look at her from my chair, and I swear I felt Elle's eyes on me for a few seconds.

- "Do you usually call girls names?"- (Y/N) answered the questions with another question and frowned at Morgan. He just wide opened his eyes and smiled, surprised.

- "He calls everybody names."- JJ replied, chuckling

- "Hey! he calls me sweet names! Just me!"- Penelope got all jealous and possessive right away.

- "Did you know according to some studies, the reason people in relationships use pet names for their partners is that they're harking back to their own childhood experience and their first love, which usually relates to their mother"- facts came out of my mouth faster than I noticed. I didn't have a chance to stop myself.

Derek frowned right away and (Y/N) bit her lips, trying not to laugh. Elle lost that fight and let out a burst of loud laughter along with JJ.

- "Are you trying to tell me I've got mommy issues, Reid?"

- "No, no, of course not!"- my voice was agitated as I shook my head and hands frenetically. If there's one thing I never want to do is get Morgan mad. He is scary when he is crossed, and back then, we weren't as close as we are now. Let's say I was a little afraid I might say the wrong thing. I always said the wrong thing... I don't know when to stop.

- "I call people pet-names too, once I get to know them, so don't worry"- (Y/N) smiled at turned to Derek with a smile- "And to answer your question, why did I join the FBI? I guess I tried to follow dad's steps. He is chief of police here at Quantico... and my older brother is a detective at NYPD, so... I guess I never really thought about it. I knew where I wanted to be."

- "I bet they are proud"- JJ smiled at her, and I held my breath for a second. I don't know why I did it; I just remember feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. Not because of JJ, but because I wanted to learn more about (Y/N). I wanted to know everything, but I had no idea how to ask her anything.

- "Well, my brother is very jealous since I joined the BAU"- she chuckled with a playful smile- "Now I'm dad's favorite."

She told us about her academy experience, and we all told her a little bit about ourselves. Morgan was nice enough to tell her everything about my degrees and IQ because, well, my IQ dropped to twenty when it was my turn to talk to her.

I found out she has a MA in Linguistics and was considering doing the DA, which she did. That's when I managed to speak, and we talked about our college experiences for a while.

- "Oh, no! I wasn't popular at all. When your dad is a cop, kids usually don't wanna talk to you or invite you to parties."- she explained as we stood at one side of the room. Talking to her on our own was a little bit easier than doing it with everybody else watching. I don't know why. So I took my opportunity when Derek was out getting more beer with Elle, and JJ and Garcia were in the kitchen.

- "Being fourteen and riding my bike to college didn't make me very popular either."- I confessed, and she chuckled

- "Sorry."

- "Don't be"- I smiled and looked down at my shoes- "I guess at a certain point in our lives, we have to start laughing about some of the bad things that happened to us"- her cellphone rang that second, and she looked at the screen with a small smile.

- "Sorry, I have to answer this, it's my boyfriend."

Boyfriend. I should have seen it coming.

I walked to the kitchen, defeated, and sighed. I left my empty can of Coke and looked at my friends.

- "I think I'm gonna go home."

- "What? No! It's too early, Spence!!"- JJ argued right away- "You never want to hang out with us outside work!"

- "Yeah!! Don't you want to have fun with us?"- Garcia begged and pouted. I wasn't sure I wanted to be there. I was very uncomfortable 'cos social gatherings weren't my thing (they are still not my thing anyway) until I heard her voice.

- "So, what are you guys doing?"- (Y/N) walked over and stood next to me

- "Who were you talking to?"- Penelope asked right away with a wink.

- "My boyfriend"- she was joyful, I could feel the happiness in her voice- "He just wanted to know if I was ok."

- "Boyfriend?"- JJ smiled, and I could feel her eyes glance over me.

- "I need to know everything!"- and Penelope hyperventilated right away- "How long have you been dating? Are you getting married soon? Is he the love of your life?"

- "Who's getting married?"- Morgan walked in and wide opened his eyes as he questioned the room.

- "(Y/N) is getting married!!"- Penelope nearly shrieked as (Y/N) shook her head laughing.

- "I'm not getting married! Paul and I started dating just a month ago; it's nothing serious."

I took a sip of the beer Elle gave me and sighed, staring at the bottle. I made my best not to look at Derek for the rest of the night. I didn't want him to give me any sorry glance or anything that might make anyone believe something that wasn't real.

It was a fun night, after all. After my beer, we talked; I felt a little looser and managed to ask (Y/N) about herself and told her I had overheard her telling Garcia she was a sucker for all nerd things.

- "Yeah, I'm a huge nerd"- her cheeks blushed with her confession.

- "I bet you can't beat baby genius here"- Morgan chuckled and tapped in my back, making everybody laugh... at me.

- "I've got the feeling I can top him... you have no idea the kind of geek I am"- she looked straight at me- "How many Star Wars conventions have you been to this year?"

- "Just one, you?"- I raised an eyebrow and watched her chuckle.

- "Five... last two I was in make-up and custom"- I wide opened my eyes as she bit her lips nervously.

- "And Doctor Who conventions?"- I asked her, way more intrigued than I had been about her before.

- "Only two this year, the academy and school got in the way of most of my fun..."

- "Do you have a favorite doctor?"- I had to ask

- "From the new series, ten, the classic Doctor who I have to say four."

- "Tom Baker is by far my favorite doctor of the whole series."

- "But you can't overlook the fantastic job David Tennant has done! He is the one who managed to charm a whole new generation with the show!"

- "Yeah, he is excellent! but he ain't no Baker"- I loved that conversation

- "Baker's popularity is 80% because he had Sara Jane, who is by far one of the best companions the doctor has ever had. She made him human and relatable"- she had a point, but I needed to argue with her. I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't because Morgan's voice was louder than my thoughts.

- "Ok, geeks, you can ramble about your tv shows and nerd things some other time, now let's make a toast. To our newest member, we hope you feel welcome working with us, 'cos you are gonna see us way more than you see your boyfriend"- she chuckled at those words and nodded.

- "Thank you, guys. You have been so nice to me these couple of weeks. I've got the feeling we are gonna get along."

- "Do you need a ride?"- (Y/N) turned to me as I grabbed my satchel, and she put on her coat.

- "Thanks, but Morgan is gonna take me home."- I whispered, scared to be alone with her again.

- "Actually, kid, I was planning to hit the club right now, it's still early, and we don't get many free nights, so..."- he looked at us and shrugged.

- "You don't mind?"- I asked her, and she gave me the warmest smile.

- "I just offered to do it, of course, I don't mind at all."

- "Thank you."

I didn't know if I wanted to kill Morgan or thank him. Either way, (Y/N) waved goodbye to everybody and walked out of Garcia's with me, after thanking everybody for the hundredth time for everything.

- "Are you tired?"- she asked me as we both sat in her car. She started it, and the music that came from the radio was so loud, I nearly covered my ears- "Sorry! Sorry! I was rocking my favorite album on my way over."

She quickly turned off the radio and gave me a guilty smile

- "It happens when you drive alone a lot."

- "Did you know listening to loud music helps you liberate stress?"- I started rambling- "There is a direct connection between your inner ear and the pleasure centers in the brain. Shortly explained, when you listen to loud music, endorphins are released, that act on the opiate receptors in our brains, they reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in a feeling of well-being."

If I was going to work with her, I had to find a way to talk to her. Even if that way was to ramble facts over and over again. Anything was better than silences, I guess.

- "Yeah! and it also works like a stimulant, which I needed after the week we just had..."- I chuckled, and she looked at me for a second- "By the way, I noticed you have a problem with coffee and sugar"

- "I don't have a problem with coffee!"- I felt nearly judged by her statement.

- "And sugar!"- she added and snickered

- "You know you shouldn't profile other profilers"- I made my best to make a joke, and I guess I nailed it, 'cos she chuckled.

- "That's hardly profiling, Reid! that's just watching you prepare your coffee every morning"

- "Have you been spying on me?"- I could help but to chuckle at that conversation. I was having fun.

- "No way on earth! I just happen to like to drink coffee too, which leads us to the question I wanted to ask, it's still early; Morgan was right, do you want to have a coffee or something... I'm in the mood for something sweet."

- "And you were judging me for my coffee with extra sugar!"

- "I'm not judging you! I'm just pointing out that I noticed what you are doing and wondering how many cavities you already have."

I laughed. An honest, real, pure laughter. She has always made me laugh as I've never had. Like there are no problems, no worries, no traumas. Nothing bad.

- "I have no cavities, thank you very much!"

- "Fine! and are you in the mood for a late coffee and cupcake with me?"- I stayed quiet and looked at her- Don't feel pushed to do it just because I'm giving you a drive

- "No, no, it's not that. I just don't wanna bother you"

- "If I am inviting you, Reid, it's because I want to do it, not because I'm feeling forced to do it"- she kept her eyes on the road, but her voice was so reassuring I couldn't doubt a word.

- "Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad or something?"- I whispered the question 'cos I was scared of the answer.

- "Why should he?"- she looked shocked by the questions- "If he gets jealous, then he is not the guy for me."

I cut her a short smile and nodded. Her personality was so different from mine. It was exciting to have her around.

- "I could eat a donut"- and she clapped at my answer, thrilled with the plan.

- "That's the spirit! I know just the place!"

We talked until four in the morning that night. I don't know how I managed to do it, not because I was tired, but because I was very nervous. Well, I was at the beginning, but talking with (Y/N) has always come easy to me, somehow. To the guy who was never able to speak in public or with any girl, spending three hours in a cafeteria talking, eating donuts, and drinking coffee in the middle of the night was the most significant achievement.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "How do you know a place open at this hour?"- Spencer asked me the very first time we were out together for coffee. It was already close to four in the morning, and I had started yawning, 'cos even with all the sugar and caffeine I had consumed that night, I was weary.

- "Sorry to break the news, doctor, but are not the only one with a sugar problem"- I licked a little frosting from my finger and grinned- "Sometimes after classes, or when I was too stressed studying, I would come here, get a coffee, a cupcake and just... do nothing for a while, just to let my brain rest I guess"

- "That makes total sense. The brain needs free time to process new information and turn it into something more permanent. Though the amount of time a mind needs to construct a durable memory probably varies from one person to the next, it also depends on the complexity of what that person is trying to learn"

- "Well, believe me, it felt like I needed two weeks to process all the information, but I only had half an hour if I was lucky"

- "Then you are already trained for this work. We don't have much time to do anything when we are on a case"

- "That's what I've seen so far... but at least you all get along. It would suck to be stuck in a team that fight egos and divisions."

- "Yeah, you are right, we are lucky to have very nice people working with us... everybody brings something different to the team"- I nodded at his words and looked down at my fingers as I tried to wipe the leftover sticky glazed with a napkin.

I had been working there for four weeks already, and I still felt like I didn't belong. Honestly, it was such hard work being there, not because they weren't a great team, but because it was more challenging than I ever imagined. Profiling and traveling all over the nation catching serial killers was... stressing, to say the least.

- "You bring a completely different point of view in every case"- he continued speaking and looked down at his cup- "And your knowledge in Linguistics adds more information to the profiles, which helps working faster and better."

I held my breath at his words. I knew he was just polite, just trying to make me feel better about my job performance these weeks.

- "I can assure you, you have been an incredible addition to the team"- he stayed quiet for a second, still just staring at his cup.

- "Thank you."

- "It's true; I'm not telling you this 'cos I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."

I know I was blushing. I don't know how to take a compliment. Not that I get many, but it's always weird to hear someone telling you so nice things about your work.

- "Thank you, Spencer"- he finally looked at me and nodded. We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what else to say, and he seemed to be embarrassed.

- "Thank you, actually"- he finally whispered.

- "Why? I didn't do anything"- I was confused, but he was earnest about his words.

- "Thank you, 'cos you have been very nice to me, even though I am a barely tolerable person."

- "What? Barely tolerable? What the hell are you saying?"

- "I mean, I know I drive people crazy 'cos I am always rambling and giving unnecessary facts all the time"- I narrowed my eyebrows, not getting why he was saying those things.

- "You do not do that."

- "Maybe you haven't been here long enough to realize I am always giving facts, and..."- he was honest. He actually believed people were annoyed by him. It hurt me to know that's what he thought of himself.

- "I realized that within the first three hours into the job, but I think that's amazing."

- "People would always say it's annoying."

- "Why would they say that?"

- "Because... I know they do."

- "Well, whoever says or thinks that are assholes, I like your rambling."

Reid snorted, and I hit his arm with my knuckles softly. I really felt bad he was so insecure, and most of all, he thought everybody hated him.

- "I mean it, Spencer, I wish I knew half the things you know, and if being with you means having to listen to your rambling, I think it's incredible, 'cos it gives me the chance to soak some of that knowledge."

The way he smiled, it was like his whole face lit up. He blushed, obviously embarrassed, and it also blushed me, 'cos he was gorgeous when he smiled.

- "So please, don't stop the facts, not with me"- he nodded and sipped what was left of his coffee.

After another few minutes, we left, and I drove him home. We were in a small sugar rush; we were too tired to have a full effect. I knew all I wanted was my bed and sleep the whole weekend.

- "I had a great time tonight"- I parked my car outside his building and smiled- "At Penelope's and with you"

I was so excited we had finally talked and gotten closer. I wanted to be friends with him so badly. Why? I don't know. I just knew I needed him in my life, from that minute on.

- "I had a great time too"- he smiled and held his satchel- "See you Monday"

- "Yeah! See ya!"

- "Drive safe!"

- "I will!"

I got home that night and laid on my bed, fully dressed. I barely took off my shoes and fell asleep right away. I was too tired to think, too tired even to put on my pajamas. But I wasn't too tired to remember Spencer's smile while he ate donuts. His dorky glasses, the way he gesticulated everything he said when he was excited about a subject. I was glad I had finally gotten to talk to him for once. And I couldn't wait to do it again.

Back then, Paul and I had just started dating. I wasn't in love with him, but he was a nice, funny guy I loved spending time with. I met Paul a couple of months ago at a friend's party. He was fun to be with, and we had a lot of things in common. We were both into music. He had a band, I didn't back then, but eventually got mine over time. He was like me, nothing like my friends at the BAU.

I thought that was cool, 'cos he represented a part of me I didn't want to lose working at the FBI. I was terrified I was going to lose myself in my new job. I saw how it affected dad's and my brother's life, how they were consumed by it in almost every single way. It was why my parents got divorced. It was why my brother couldn't keep a girlfriend for longer than a few months. 'Cos work was first, and their job was everything. The crazy hours, having to answer every call, no matter how busy you were. I thought it was sick how work could be your whole life. I was decided not to let it happen.

Yeah. I had no idea what I was getting into.

Soon after I joined the BAU, the nightmares began. I guess nothing prepares you to see so many people die. And nothing prepares you to kill someone, no matter if that someone is a child abuser.

I took the shoot, didn't even hesitate. It went right between his eyes. It was him or me, I know that. He was going to kill me. But still, it was hard.

Derek turned to me as I stayed still, in shock. It took me a few seconds to even breathe. I had just killed a person. It wasn't just some random thing.

- "(Y/N), are you ok?"- he landed a hand on my shoulder, and I quickly nodded.

- "Yeah, I'm ok... that was fast"- it was all I could say and turned to him. He gave me a short warm smile and wrapped an arm around me. I flinched at his touch right away and held my breath again. I don't know if he felt it, but still, he didn't let me go.

Derek has that thing when he doesn't care if you want it or no; he will give you his love and friendship when he feels you deserve it. I guess I'm lucky to call him my friend. And he really pushed that hug thing I still have.

- "Are you ok?- Spencer's voice was a sweet whisper. He sat carefully next to me in the jet and gave me a warm cup of tea- "I made you the one you like"

Of course, he had noticed my favorite brand, 'cos that's what Spencer does, he takes mental notes of everything and never, ever forgets. I wonder if that's a good thing or not. I guess it depends on what you remember.

- "Yeah, just tired"- working at the BAU, you can hide any kind of feeling behind the "I'm so tired" excuse. Mostly because we are indeed tired the whole time.

- "It was an extreme case"- I sipped my cup of tea and nodded at his words- "Do you..."

- "No, I'm ok, I don't wanna talk about it"- he bit his lips as he smiled. We both stayed quiet for a while. He read (somehow, at a relative normal peace), and I drank my tea. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I just looked outside and tried not to think about the unsub's face and how he looked when I killed him.

- "How was your first time?"- I finally asked him, and I think my question caught him by surprise, 'cos he nearly jumped on his seat- "Not your first time in the sack, the first time you had to..."

- "No, I got it, I got it"- he was already blushing, it was adorable- "My first time was actually the first time you drove me home"

- "Really?"

- "Yeah"- he made a pause and gathered his thoughts, I guess- "I didn't really go out to the field a lot before 'cos I didn't have my firearm qualification"

And suddenly I remembered how embarrassed he was about it on my first day at the BAU. Derek made sure everybody knew about it 'cos he thought it was hilarious. And I thought he was a jerk for making fun of him.

- "And did it affect you?"- it was a stupid question. I knew Spencer was a sensitive person; of course, killing someone was going to affect him in many ways- "I mean, how did it affect you?"

- "I couldn't feel anything at first"

- "Shock?"- he nodded and sighed- "Gideon said that maybe I didn't know what I felt and that's why I thought I didn't feel a thing, but that wasn't it, it was like I was numbed inside... but then when it hits you"- he murmured- "And you can't stop thinking about it"

- "I think it hit me sooner than I thought"- I closed my eyes and sighed, but even then, I could feel those empty dead eyes staring at me.

- "Wanna know what helped me?"- Spencer's voice was velvety and soothing. It felt relaxing talking to him.

- "What?"- I whispered and turned to look at him

- "Remember two things: you did what you had to do"- I sighed at that with a small smile. It didn't sound like something I could believe at that moment.

- "And the second?"

- "A lot of kids are alive and safe because of you"

Now, that made me feel a lot better. Reid was right. I did what I had to do to help people. That guy wasn't going to stop.

- "Thanks"- I managed to give him a slight smile, and he did the same.

- "I'm here to talk if you want to"

It felt like he was really making an effort to say those words. I didn't know why it was still so hard for him to talk to me. Maybe it was still a sensitive subject for him, so I did what I do best: I joked about it.

- "Thank you... I'll try to avoid the issue as much as I can, but when I collapse under the pressure, I promise I'll come to you"- he chuckled at my answer and nodded right away.

- "Great plan."

And a few days later, I couldn't sleep anymore. I kept waking up to those eyes. I kept feeling guilty for killing a child abuser who was trying to kill me. I relived in my mind that moment over and over again.

- "Babe, come back to bed"- Paul found me sitting by the kitchen island staring at a herbal teacup at two am. It was my third insomnia night.

- "Yeah, I'll be right there"- he turned to walk back to the room but hesitated and looked at me again.

- "Do you want to talk about it?"- I shook my head, still not taking my eyes from the cup. He slowly walked to me and held my hand - "Come on, babe, everything looks worse at two am."

And he was right. Everything seemed to be worse when it came to my mind in the middle of the night. But it didn't get any better during the day either. He cuddled with me in my bed and fell asleep soon after. I just stayed there, feeling his chest moving softly with his soft breathing, thinking I had killed someone, and it wasn't going to be the last time I was going to face something like this.

Spencer's point of you

Do you want to know something sad? I was excited we had an unsub in New York 'cos I had never been there. Back then, I didn't know my colleagues were going to tease me about it. I didn't give it too much thought. I honestly wasn't good at leaving my house when we weren't in a case. Most of my traveling had been due to work, and other than La Vegas and Pasadena, I hadn't been to many cities just to sightsee.

Why am I thinking about that right now? 'cos we were in New York the day (Y/N) gave me her first gift.

Everybody had made fun of me during dinner because I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks. JJ tried to teach me, which also caused hours of Morgan's teasing for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, they dropped the jokes when we went back to the police station to take one last look at the profile after we got a call out unsub had killed a cop this time.

But after two hours of thinking, neither of us was honestly able to give any new idea to the case. Hotch insisted we head back to the hotel to have some rest. (Y/N) was one of the last ones to leave, along with Gideon and me.

- "Stop looking at the board"- she said, standing by my side, bag in hand- "Let's go. Your big brain needs to rest."

- "I won't be able to sleep knowing I'm missing something"- I answered, not taking my eyes from the board

- "Come on"- (Y/N) playfully hit my arm- "You need your eight hours of sleep to be a fully functional genius"

- "You should try to get a full night's sleep as well"- I turned to her and watched her eyes widen- "What? Do you think I didn't notice you haven't been sleeping?"

- "No, but I thought you were going to wait until I had a mental breakdown to force me to talk about it; that was the plan, right?"

I tried not to laugh, but it was hard; she is so funny, though I knew that was a sensitive subject, it had been weeks since the incident, and it was clear (Y/N) wasn't processing everything right. If anything, her jokes were a coping mechanism to avoid talking or even thinking about what had happened.

- "We can also talk about it, just... talk"

- "I know what happens with me, Reid"- she whispered and looked around. Gideon was outside, no way near us, but still, she kept her voice low. It made me see she was scared he would hear her, 'cos she didn't want him to think she was weak.

- "I guess I just have to make peace with it. It was gonna happen, and it will happen again, it's my job, it's part of what I do, end of it."

I looked at her and nodded in silence. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't shake the thought she was going to laugh at me.

- "Do you want to?"- I made a pause and took a deep breath. Yes, I was very nervous- "Do you want to walk back to the hotel? it's just a few blocks and maybe... fresh air can help you relax?"

I didn't mean to hesitate so much, but it was scary for me to ask her to spend time on our own. I don't know why. It wasn't just with her; it happened with everybody at that point in my life. I was sure no one wanted to spend time with me. Why would they?

- "Can we have a midnight cupcake?"- she asked and smiled. I bit my lips and pretended to give the idea a lot of thinking, though I was craving donuts ever since we didn't have time for dessert at dinner.

- "Just one, and no coffee"

- "What are you? The sleeping police?"- she teased me and led the way. We waved at Gideon and walked outside the police station.

For a rainy night, it was freezing. But I didn't care much. I was too busy looking around, it was technically my first night out in New York, and though I was just leaving work and walking back to the hotel, it was the biggest adventure I have had there so far.

For the first couple of minutes, we walked in silence. (Y/N) looked at her feet, hands stuffed in her pocket as I walked next to her, holding my umbrella for the two of us. I tried to take in everything that was going on around us. It was exciting, being there, alone. I was a twenty-four-year-old Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and I was excited to walk with a friend in the New York city streets. No wonder why Morgan called me "kid."

- "Did you know more than 800 languages are spoken in New York City? that makes it the most linguistically diverse city in the world"- I had to start rambling facts after a while because I guess I couldn't help it.

- "Vraiment?"- she answered, and I chuckled. Of course, Master in Linguistics.

- "Oui"- I thought we could have a whole conversation in french; it would have been fun and fascinating, but my French was very rusty, and I didn't know if she was fluent or just learned a few things.

- "When I was a kid, I dreamt about living in New York. I was obsessed with it"- she kept looking down at her feet as she spoke, and I turned to look at her for a second. She looked sad somehow, or that's what I read from her. I've always done my best not to profile profilers. It's harder than you imagine.

- "Why?"- she chuckled at her thoughts and kept her eyes on her shoes.

- "You know how they always make you feel no matter how weird you might be, you are still going to fit in New York?"

- "You are not weird"- I couldn't help but frown and look at her- "You are..."

- "I am weird, we are all weird, that's what makes us great"

I loved that thought. That's why I've never forgotten it. Lie, I can't forget. I remember everything we've said to each other because I want to, not because I have an eidetic memory.

- "But when you are in school, everybody is trying to fit it and be normal, and that wasn't me at all..."

I didn't see that coming, and I have to admit it, I loved it. I often felt I was an outsider at the BAU. Hotch, Gideon, Morgan, Elle, JJ, they all fit in everywhere we'd go. Meanwhile, everybody looked at me, wondering what the hell am I doing there. I could read it on their faces. The fact the team had to introduce me as "Doctor Spencer Reid" is a sign they are making an effort to make me look older and more experienced. Reliable, even.

- "Why would you say you are weird?"- I had to ask- "You look very normal to me, I mean it"- she raised an eyebrow and didn't say a word. She just pulled my jacket and dragged me to a coffee shop.

- "Cupcakes, Reid, you can't expect me to tell you embarrassing facts about my life without a cup of coffee and a mountain of sugar."

JJ always said I ate like a kid, too many pastries and candy, no salad. Meanwhile, (Y/N) kept pushing sugar into my body. I liked that. They were both so different. JJ treated me like I didn't know how to deal with life. (Y/N) treated me like I could help her deal with life. JJ wanted to help me grow up. I could feel (Y/N) wanted to be my friend, and I loved that. I had never felt someone longing for my company. It was always the opposite. I usually felt people were stuck with me.

For months I kept comparing the two of them in my head. JJ had such condescending manners, it sometimes made me think she might actually have feelings for me. Other times, Morgan would call her my mom, which took all the hopes from my mind.

- "What do you do in your free time, Reid?"- (Y/N) sat in front of me in a booth. Right in between us, a table with two coffees, a red velvet cupcake, and a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles.

- "I read, study..."- I didn't give much thought to my answers- "I also write a letter to my mom every day"

- "That's so cute"- I felt how my cheeks turned blood red, and she smiled at me sweetly.

- "Thanks..."- I sipped my hot cappuccino and winced as the coffee burned my tongue, and she chuckled.

- "Slowly, doc, or are you in a hurry?"

- "Definitely not, I have no other plan, I mean, I could sleep, but I know I won't, and, and I know you won't sleep either, so"- the words left my mouth at such a fast pace, not even I got them all. (Y/N) nodded and started taking apart her cupcake, little by little.

- "That's awesome, 'cos I like hanging out with you, and I don't feel like hanging out with Elle tonight. We are sharing rooms."

- "You don't like her?"- now that was breaking news- "I thought you two got along"

- "Don't get me wrong, I like her. I just don't feel like being the version of myself I am when I'm with her"

I looked at her, not sure of where she was going. She took a piece of cake and ate it slowly.

- "You lost me"- (Y/N) sighed and ran a finger around the edge of her cup.

- "Are you really you the whole time when you are at work, Reid?"

- "Well, yes?"- I wasn't sure that was the answer she wanted, but it was the only one I had- "I don't know how to be anybody else"

That was the whole truth. That's still the truth. Maybe that's why I have never been popular. People say I have no empathy, that I can't read any social cues. If I knew how to be someone else, I would probably try to change that and be a Spencer that's entirely sympathetic and social, like everybody else. But I can't force myself to act differently.

She stared at me, and I could feel the frustration piling behind her small smile.

- "Do you want to know something weird?"- her eyes shone as she stared into mines asking the question

- "Always"

- "You are the only person at the BAU I feel I can be myself with"- she whispered and sipped her coffee again.

- "Thanks?"- I was confused- "But... you are not that different with me than you are with the rest of the team"

- "Well, I am... I don't share who I really am at work because I am afraid"

- "Why? What scares you?"- she sighed and laid back on the seat. I kept my eyes fixated on her until she furrowed her brows, staring back at me

- "Are you trying to profile me, Spencer? 'cos we are not supposed to profile each other. I'm pretty sure it was in the contract I signed"- I smiled, busted, and nodded.

- "If it makes you feel any better, you are hard to read"

- "I'm a good liar, don't tell anyone"

She was proud of her answer, and I guess she should have been. You have to be an excellent liar to catch unsubs, get in their head, play with them when you have to make them talk. I guess she was ahead of me in that area.

- "Well, If it makes you feel better, I feel more comfortable around you than most of the team"

I closed my eyes as I spoke, and I knew my voice had been so low and soft, it hadn't been surprising if she hadn't been able to hear me, but she did.

- "Is it because I don't like touching people either?"- she joked, and a small smile stretched across my lips

- "It is because you"- I stopped and rearranged my thoughts. You could tell she was eager to hear the rest of my answer, and I was making sure not to make a fool out of myself.

- "It's because it feels you don't judge me for being me"

- "That's exactly how I feel, Spencer"- her smile was so big it made mine grow bigger as well.

- "But, why can't you be you with everybody?"- (Y/N) took a big bite of her cupcake, feeling more confident about our conversation and nodding.

- "Mmm, this is so damn good, you should try it, Reid"

- "Answer the question, (Y/N)"- I ignored her random comment and asked again- "Why can't you just be you?"

- "There are two answers to that question, and both of them are real"- she finally confessed and bit her lips, playing again with a little piece of cake on the dish.

- "I'm waiting"

- "You know, for someone who said has all the night off, you are indeed in a hurry now!"- she snickered and stuck out her tongue at me.

- "Fine, here's the truth: I don't want to share my whole real me at work because I am scared people will judge me and think I'm weird and too immature for the job, but at the same time, and this is the second reason, I don't wanna show my whole me at work 'cos I am afraid I'll lose it along the way, I am worried the FBI will take that weird part of me and will turn me into an SSA."

- "You are an S.S.A., (Y/N)"

- "I know, but I'm afraid I might end up being an ASS, Reid"

Her joke made me laugh so hard, tears fell down my cheeks. And she looked pleased to see me laughing.

- "See? That's me, the girl telling weird jokes the whole time 'cos can't stand a serious "grown-up" conversation. Can you imagine this (Y/N) talking with Hotch? Seriously, Reid, can you imagine?"

- "No, I can't"- I shook my head, still chuckling, and took a bit of my donut- "But I would definitely love to."

- "Do you want to know what I do in my free time?"- my mouth was still full, so I just nodded, feeling a little guilty I hadn't asked about her when she had asked about my hobbies.

- "I ride my longboard and play bass, do you think an SAA should be doing that? Do you think Elle does it? JJ? they are the perfect fit for the role. I am that kid at the back of the class who got a stroke of luck and managed to hang out with the cool kids"

- "Am I one of the cool kids?"- I had to ask

- "Yes, Reid, why?"

- "I've never been one of the cool kids before"- she gave me a severe look and sipped her coffee.

- "Here I am, pouring my heart and soul out for you, and all you care about is being one of the popular kids. That's being a lousy friend, Reid."

She was joking, and we both chuckled, but my chest tightened at her words, and the smile on my lips grew wider. She called me her friend for the first time that night.

- "I think you are overthinking this whole thing, (Y/N)"- she sighed at my words and finished her coffee- "We are all weird, you said it yourself"

- "Some on us more than other"

- "Yes, but that's what makes us great and unique. I told you, your vision brings a whole new point of view to the profiles, and I know what it's like to feel insecure people will judge you for being too young"

- "I know, that's why I'm glad you are here"

I am sure I was blushing, and I am absolutely certain she noticed because I heard her giggle as I looked down at my empty dish and fidgeted with my cup.

- "And... are"- I stuttered and narrowed my eyes. I knew I had to stop being so nervous around her; she was my friend, she had said it herself- "Are you ready to talk about your nightmares?"

- "Are you profiling I have nightmares?"- she raised an eyebrow and questioned my question

- "I am staring at the back rings under your eyes. It's clear you haven't been sleeping and considering we both know you went through a traumatic incident, to call it that way, you are clearly going through night terrors or nightmares"

- "Did you go through the same?"

- "Yes, I did"

- "And how did you overcome it?"

- "I haven't. I just made my peace with it"- you could read the deception on her face. That wasn't the answer she was waiting for.

- "They will be more sporadically, I promise, (Y/N)"

- "That's what's scares me too"

- "What?"

- "That one day I won't have the nightmares 'cos I'll be used to seeing the darkness and horror around me."

When we left the cafeteria, it was two in the morning, and the night was freezing. It was no longer raining, and the cold wind could freeze your skin in a second. (Y/N) looked at me as I shivered and opened her bag.

- "Here, put this on"- it was a purple scarf.

- "Thank you"- I was so cold I didn't hesitate. The wool was warm, soft, and it smelled like her- "It's pretty"- I felt I had to compliment it, 'cos she was too nice with me.

- "I made it myself"- you could tell she was proud. I tightened it around my neck and continued our way back to the hotel.

I hadn't felt I could count on someone at the FBI as I did with her. She wouldn't think I'm a kid; she wouldn't be forced to hang out with me. It felt pretty good to have a friend again. Ethan had been the last one I had lost. I always lose the people I love.

- "Thank you"- we were standing outside (Y/N)'s room back at the hotel. I took off the scarf and tried to give it back to her, but she didn't let me.

- "Keep, it's a present for being my first and best BAU friend"- I felt profoundly flattered, and I'm pretty sure I giggled, blushing- "Besides, purple looks good on you"

- "It's my favorite color"- I confessed- "And I'm not saying it just to make you feel good"

- "Then you have to keep it. It was made for you even when I didn't know it"- she smiled one more time and opened the door- "Good night, Reid."

- "Good night, (Y/N)."

----------

Series Masterlist

Chapter two

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rcksmith · 4 years ago

Text

Spring breeze part.4 — Spencer Reid

Icon by @obiwansjedi

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3

Sumarry: After the breakup, Spencer and the Reader follow different paths and lives. But, after 8 years, Gideon's death brings an avalanche of emotions, putting the two face to face again in a reencounter that could break their hearts again — season 10 —

Couple: Spencer Reid /Gideon's daughter!reader.

Warnings: mention of death, mention of violence, death of the father, depressive thoughts, murder, crying, swearing, a lot of anguish, mention of love, fluff (but it has a very fluff too, I'm not a monster)

Word count: 5k.

A/N: This is the most sad chapter that has, I promise that the next will be very cute.💖

I saw Gideon's death episode again to make it as faithful as possible for you guys. I used the original Criminal Minds chronology too, being 8 years from Gideon's last appearance until his death.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Let me know if you want to be added for a taglist for a specific fandom (Criminal Minds, The Umbrella Academy, Riverdale, Roman Godfrey, or all)

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — — —

Hunting bandits. Save people. Improve the world a little bit every day. Those were the three things Spencer believed it was worth to be at BAU. It was worth fighting for, holding on, staying sleepless for days, being haunted by murderers by day and nightmares at night. For what it was worth looking at the abyss, even when it looks to you

Reid could deal with human perversion, with the thousand and one ways to practice heinous crimes, the sowing of evil and cruelty. He could cope with constantly being inside insane minds, learning his whys and mechanisms. He could take it. He put up with it day after day, case after case. He endured being tortured, stay being held at gunpoint, having a piece of his essence plucked with red-hot iron month after month. Spencer knew he could handle it.

But he couldn't handle death. Goodbye. It shattered his soul far more than difficult cases, pushed his own sanity to the limit. Perhaps burying his feelings as deeply as possible was just a method of delaying the wave that would drown him at one time or another. Inevitably.

Each farewell took a piece of Reid away. His father, his mother, Ellie, you, Gideon, JJ, were just a few of the people who left, living their lives elsewhere. But what about those who died? The victims, the children, Hayley, Maeve, Emily (even if only for a short time) and so many others. These took much more than a piece of him. Maybe costu his whole soul.

Spencer felt himself harden over the years, the cases, loss after loss, day after loss. He felt the purity of his own heart slip through his fingers like sand, the faith in humanity to be put to the test. Sometimes even faith in himself.

Was that the price to pay for that job? Being constantly vulnerable? See his life and the lives of the people his loved most at gunpoint?

It was worth?

Maeve's death shook him more than any other, sucking all the pink glow from his world, leaving him with only the cold feeling of hopelessness. A very deep void. It took a long time for memories of she not to hurt like red-hot iron, for his breathing not to be heavy. It took a long time to be happy again.

And when Spencer felt healed from the deepest wounds, the most visceral pains, he was hit again. Deeply. If Maeve's death was a wave that brought him down, Gideon's death was the tsunami that destroyed him.

“It's Gideon.” Hotch's voice confirmed the fear of everyone in that cottage.

Then Spencer felt shattered. Torn apart. Torn like a rag doll and placed on the fire. He wanted to scream, to scream so loudly that he would never regain his voice. He wanted to break something, destroy some, run away.

But run away from whom? From what? That pain or himself? If Spencer had been able to tear off his own skin at that time and be someone else, he would not have hesitated. Not having dropped to his knees in that cottage was a miracle, because Spencer no longer knew what was holding him upright.

Jason Gideon, in many ways, was all that Spencer had. He knew that they took different paths and traveled different roads, living different lives, but he believed that they always end up on the same, even one they was old. Spencer was sure that if he was dying on his knees, Gideon would be to rescue him. For all those 8 years, it was extremely comforting to think that Gideon was out there, living life, finding the hope he had in college, finding the brilliance the world had.

And Reid knew that Jason had you. And you had Gideon. That was the most soothing and comforting thought. No matter what, he knew that you would take care of Jason, just like he would take care of you. But now... now Spencer's world had dissolved in the air. Like a sandcastle knocked over by the wind.

And the pain was surreal.

When he realized, he had left the room, close to the... body. If he could, Spencer would have moved away from himself. How would he take it? One more death, another psychopath. How many other people he love will are died at the hands of the work he did every day?

The answer to all of these questions was frightening, and Spencer wasn't sure if wanted them.

The trip to the coroner was the worst Reid had ever done, talking about the body was the worst conversation he had ever had. And when Morgan put his hand on his shoulder and said that he couldn't close himself now, that they were going to get that son of a bitch, all Spencer wanted to say was that he couldn't take it anymore. That he couldn't breathe. The emptiness was too oppressive. So much visceral pain.

But that was not what Spencer said. He just clung to the only lifeguard in the middle of the rough and deserted sea: justice. Gideon deserve it.

Reid doesn't know how he managed to get back to the Gideon’s house, how he managed to hear Hotch and Rossi talking about what could have happened. But he was there, standing, by some miracle.

“Do you know who might want to have done this?” Hotch asked Stephen, who had arrived, his eyes red from the crying he struggled to hold.

“No. I know he had a list of things he wanted to do before he died... That's how we came back to speak, one of the things was to get back in touch.” His voice was so reminiscent of Gideon's that it was stabbed in the heart of Reid.

“Didn't he talk about being chased? Feeling anything strange?” Rossi commented.

Reid watched Stephen's expressions carefully, first because he reminded Gideon a lot, and second because he looked for any clues in his reactions.

Stephen took a second to think before saying: “No, but we both don't keep in touch daily, you know?” He swallowed a sob, probably with regret, but then his eyes lit up with some information: “'But Y/n surely know, they both spoke to each other every day, if my father was thinking differently, surely she know.”

The mention of your name hit Reid with a very different wave. Bringing a very different feeling than it should. At that moment, he felt himself holding the air.

For a second, a lapse of consciousness, Spencer had not connected any of this with your physical presence. The notion that you were Gideon's daughter was obvious but, for some reason, Spencer didn't think about the fact that you were going to be there. That you would share the same air with him again, the same place...

“We will have to call her, bring her here to see if something has been left, or taken. If there is anything important on the scene.” It was Hotch.

“I called her as soon as you guys called me.” Stephen said “She arrived from California the day before yesterday, my father and she were going to travel.” He tried to swallow the crying, his eyes trembling.

"And you weren't going?" Rossi added.

“I have a son and a wife.” He gave a smile broken by the sadness of the mourning “They would stop by before I go… Y/n was going to tell me the news, since our schedules hardly match much, she works as an astronomer in…”

“Caltech.” Spencer completed, without even realizing it, like a thought out loud.

“Yea.” Stephen agreed.

Spencer felt a chill go from head to toe, and another ton of feelings were thrown at his back. The reality that he was going to see you again hit him hard. Like an arrow. Suddenly, Reid wanted to get out of there. Run as far as possible.

He couldn't see you. He had no ability to deal with those feelings now. Not now, when his life was so overwhelmed with emotions for Gideon’s death that he still hadn't dealt Not when you aroused the feeling of... hope. Spencer can’t could hope, of any kind. Not for them to be taken from him with visceral force. Reid was already hurt enough for handling another fall.

“... But I don't think it's a good idea for my sister to be here, anyway.” Stephen continued to speak.

Rossi and Hotch frowned: “Why?”

“They were very connected. Seeing this scene is not going to do her any good...” he sobs this time “Y/n is not like me… she is sentimental, emotional. ”

“As long as you're trying to stay calm, she'll be the opposite.” Hotch completed.

“I just don't want my sister to suffer anymore and...”

But it was too late for Stephen to complete. It was too much for Spencer to escape. It was too late to be born again, in a different life.

A gray car moved forward on the stone road, at too high a speed not to have washed several road fines. That was so much typical of you who hurt Spencer's heart pieces more than he thought possible. More than he thought he could feel at the time. You were always so wild at the wheel. But Reid didn't have time to finish a thought, not even Rossi, Hotch, Morgan who was with them or even Stephen. Because car brutally stopped it, the door opened and…

And it was as if the sun came out from behind the clouds after years. As if summer had finally come after decades of overwhelming winter. In a burst, everything you've ever represented for Spencer has come back for him once again. And he felt the same thing that he felt when he first saw you, 8 years ago. And he was catatonic.

You got out of the car in a very hurried and desperate way. And as much as there were tears in your eyes and redness in cheeks, Spencer has never seen anyone so beautiful. Your hair was longer, in a brighter shade, maybe you had dyed it. Your features were more lyrical and beautiful, and Reid thought that the passage of time had no effect on you. While he considered himself just less clumsy over the years, you proved to be blooming like Romania's most superb rose.

“DAD!” But that was when your desperate voice brought Reid's consciousness back to earth.

You weren't calling your brother, you weren't asking why, you weren't in mourning. You were in denial. Disbelieving. You called out to your father, with the certainty that he would show up. And the despair in your eyes hurt Reid more than being shot.

But before the agents could do anything, you were running towards the house and Stephen ran towards you, taking you in his arms, trying to keep you from getting inside.

“LET ME GO, STEPHEN!” You struggled, trying to get rid of your brother's arms, your hair messing with the wind, tears streaming down your eyes. “They are wrong! It's not our father! Let me fucking go! DAD!”

“Y/n” Stephen had a broken heart in his eyes, some tears streaming down his eyes “You need to calm down before you get in there !”

“LET ME GO!” Yours sobs broke the hearts of the four agents over there “DAD!” You was cryng out, almost like a prayer, in a desperate call.

"He's gone, Y/n.” Your brother kept his arms stronger in you, trying to contain you while you struggle in trying to break free and go inside the house, under the illusion that you would find your father there.

“NO!” Now your crying was continuous “I spoke to him yesterday! It's not him, Stephen!” Then your brother turned you to him, holding you tight, and you melted into a visseral pain “It can't be him!”

“I know...” he sobbed, looking at you with the same shared pain “I know...”

So you gave yourself up to a painful, loud and desperate crying, the kind that won't let you breathe. And, unlike Reid, you fallen down. Your knees found the stone and grass floor, your hands clasped on Stephen's shirt, who knelt on the floor with you, delivered the pain you both shared.

You knew what your father's risks were in working in such a dangerous profession. Expose yourself to constant and frightening danger. You always knew about the risks, you just tried to ignore them all your life, sinking your fears about your father not coming home at night. Then, when he let the BAU, that fear dissipated. You felt a colossal weight being lifted off your shoulders, like tons of lead, and you let go of a fear so great that you didn't even know you had it.

For 8 years you thought that the chances of him not coming home were over, that the chances of seeing him the next day had increased dramatically. For 8 years you two traveled together, stopping at every type of diner for milkshake, chocolate ice cream and mint - his favorites - For 8 years you had your best friend, the only thing you knew you had in the world. You always knew that if you were drowning in the ocean, it would be your father who would give his lungs for you to breathe.

You didn't see a life without Gideon.

For you, you were crying for hours in what one day was your father's backyard, totally devastated, but for the rest of the world it was a matter of minutes.

Your sobs were so loud and real that Hotch and Rossi caught themselves with watery eyes, perfectly understanding the pain you were going through, the devastation. The two had lost many people, many of them being essential pieces to be able to continue breathing. Many of them felt wounds that would never heal.

But it was Rossi who approached you, the pain at the top of his throat, his mind wandering the day Gideon said he was going to have a little girl. Unlike Stephen, Rossi never saw you in person, but the sparkle in Jason's eyes whenever he talked about you, or with you on the phone, was enough to know that you were one of the essential pieces to keep breathing.

“Hi, my name is Rossi.” He knelt in front of you and your face went towards him, your cheeks and nose as red as your eyes.

“M-my dad talked about you."” You were still sobbing, slowly letting go of Stephen's shirt.

"Good things, I hope.” The two of you laughed like a sigh, and soon the pain returned to your eyes in a visseral way. “I know this is not fair, and I know it is asking too much, but I need you to go inside and try to find something out of place. Something that whoever did this to your father may have taken or left. ”

You closed your eyes in pain, tears streaming as you sobbed. Your hands, trembling and cold, went to your face, perhaps trying to hide from reality, perhaps wiping away tears. Maybe both. When you looked back at Rossi again, you saw the pain in his eyes too.

"I don't know if I can do it.” You admitted, your voice shaking.

"I know.” Rossi took his hand to yours, squeezing comfortingly “But only you can help us now, help other daughters not lose their father to the same killer. Being inside in the house can bring information that is in your subconscious. I promise you will make it, we will all be here with you.”

His handshake got stronger, and it reminded you of your father. That should have been the same way he comforted the victims' relatives, the way he was supposed to act with people.

'Everyone is somebody's son.' That's what Gideon said. It hit you like an atomic bomb. And, for a moment, you thought it was possible to die of sadness.

You squeezed Rossi's hand tightly, as if you were looking for courage. When you opened eyes again, you gave a weak nod. Carefully, as if any sudden movement is capable of causing you more pain, you stood up, your legs wobbly, your heart bleeding, sadness clouding your vision. Rossi put his hand behind your back, in a way to make sure him were there, as an anchorage in reality that would not let you get lost in the valley of sadness and pain.

As you walked up to the house, you didn't see the other agents, you didn't see the trees, the cars. At that time, you didn't even know what color the sky was anymore. It was like a suspended moment, when the world is in slow motion, the hemisphere is terrified. The sadness was palpable in the breeze, in the way that the rays of the sun did not reach the ground. The whole land looked like mourning.

As soon as you stepped inside the house, the smell of home and Gideon hit your nose, and you felt your face tighten in an expression of pure pain. You didn't notice the agents coming in behind you, you didn't notice Penelope and JJ. You just saw the furniture, the decor, his stuff. As if Gideon had just left for the market and was going to come back.

Everything was in was there. Minus the most important thing: him.

You did not notice when Rossi left you, you did not notice who approached. Everything was in a haze of pain.

But that's when you saw the strong blood marks on the floor, stuck to the wood with possession. A cold shiver as sighed from death ricocheted through your entire body, bristling all over your skin. In a burst, like the bursting of a violin string, the mist dissipated, the state of tupor burst, and reality hit you with overwhelming force.

And then the plug fell.

Jason Gideon had died.

You fell again, barely noticing the sobs and loud crying starting to come out again, the most desperate and painful in you life. But this time the arms that took you were different, bringing with you sensations that you haven't felt in a long time. That a long time ago you forgot that you could feel.

They were long, thin, and contained a vigor hidden beneath the thin facade. The smell of his presence was… heaven. That feeling was your anchorage on the high seas, in the valley of despair, and you clung to him for fear of drowning, of not finding your way back home.

You didn't have to see it to know who it was.

You turned to the arms that took you, now Spencer kneels with you on the floor, and you cried in a way that you never cried before, with a visseral pain. Your hands went to the brown cardigan he wore, closing there as if the fabric was your only chance for salvation.

So you looked at the immensity of the his brown irises.

"He was the only thing I had, Spen.” You sobbed loudly with the crying, gently swaying his coat, your voice utterly torn.

Spencer felt his eyes sting, his throat lock and the remains of what was his heart ache in a hideous way.

“I know.” He felt a tear run down his left cheek, his hands on your arms.

At this time, the two of you supported each other. Gideon meant a lot to you two. An irreplaceable role in yours life. And Spencer knew that was what you were talking about when you said:

"He was the only thing we both had.” You closed your eyes, your hands still firmly on his coat, your heart pounding.

But this time Spencer's voice was just as broken when he said: “I know.”

Then he hugged you.He hugged you for everything. He hugged you because it was a pain that only you two could understand. He hugged you because you needed it, and because he needed too.

Jason Gideon had a special connection with you two, a connection that only the two of you had ever experienced. Each relationship with Gideon was different, special in different ways, but only the two of you had him as a protector, mentor, a much more paternal and confidant figure. He was the kind of person you could leave your life in his hands, the kind who would teach you the secret of the worlds, show you what goodness was and at the same time strength. And you two had that.

You stained Reid's coat with tears, and Reid stained you with the strong smell he had. He stepped far enough away to be able to see your face perfectly, at a considerable distance, and, against everything he had ever done before with anyone, he took your face in his hands, his eyes fixed on your in pain shared.

“We will catch how did it.” Reid assured you, as if he had tattooed this words on your skin. You closed your eyes in pain, but he brought you back “Hey, keep looking at me."

So you did it. Because you would always follow Spencer. To hell if he asked.

"Don't take your eyes off mine, okay?” His voice was so sweet, so gentle, and you couldn't have done anything but agree. “When was the last time you spoke to Gideon?”

“Yesterday.” You replied “We were going to travel to the beach today, I took a vacation from work.”

“Was he at home when you two talked?”

The team looked at each other, with several questions in those look.

You denied it, the hiccup now because of the shortness of breath you had because of the crying.

“He stopped at Roanoke for...” and that's when you seemed to remember something.

Your eyes widened softly, your lips trembled, and you let out a stammering sigh as you try to remember something very important.

“What do you remember?” Spencer stroked your cheeks with his thumbs, trying to calm the beating of your heart that went back to being frantic and making you focus on the question, not the sea of emotions you felt.

“He…” was when your eyes fluttered before meeting Reid's again. “He said he saw a woman on the news who was found dead. And ... and that he had to make sure of one thing ”

Rossi looked at Hotch, who gave an attentive and objective expression.

“Did he tell you why?” His eyes closed again and you sobbed. Reid moved closer, bringing your face back in his direction again “Look at me, Y/n.”

As soon as you did, he gave you a gentle smile, but contained all the pain in the world. He understood what you were felling.

“Why was he interested in the case?” He changed the question.

“I-it was something about...” you searched in your mind “Girl named Tara. I don’t know. He mentioned about a blue butterfly tattoo on her ankle as well, and that it was something to do with a… a case or something.”

“1978” Rossi interrupted and everyone looked at him “Gideon and I worked on a case in 1978, the suspect was never caught and Tara was a teenager who we thought had been kidnapped by him. The killer left dead birds in the hands of the victims ”

“But he didn't mention birds and...” That's when your eyes, fluttering, darted around the room and you stopped abruptly.

Spencer turned his attention to you again, seeing that you were staring somewhere. His hands slowly left your face and he asked:

“What?”

“The board.” You pointed to your father's board, which had a beautiful brown bird.

“Does say anything to you?” Rossi turned his attention to you.

You shook your head, your body too exhausted to go to the painting and examine it.

“He shot the board.” You looked at the agents “My father loved that painting, he never would have done that. Even though my father is stunned, he has the best aim I have ever seen.”

“The devil is in the details." Rossi went to the pinting and, after two seconds, turned to the team and said “I already know who did this.”

You let out a gigantic sigh of relief as the agents split up to continue the case, speaking so fast that you couldn't keep up.

“I helped?” You looked at Spencer, tears still shining in your eyes.

He smiled and nodded “Very.”

But when he got up, you took his hand, making Reid turn his attention back to you again, a questioning look on his face.

“You're going to get it, aren't you?” The sob invaded your voice "Promise me that you will catch him, Spen."

Reid took his hand in your, giving you a strong, comforting squeeze before saying:

"I will. I promise.”

And then he left, along with the other agents.

- - -

You thought you knew what pain was, the loss, the tightness in the heart. You thought that your many relationship breakdowns showed you what it was like to suffer. But you have never been so wrong. None of that compared to how you were now, to what you felt.

You would trade that feeling for anything in the world.

This was terrible. A cold, coercive, brutal and cruel feeling. As if you were at the bottom of a black ocean, unable to breathe, falling deeper and deeper, consumed by the overwhelming cold of the water.

It was impossible to say in words how you felt. But if it were you had to define it in one word you would say: pain. A pain that bends you, a pain that makes you want to scream, that pierces your lungs so that it is not possible to breathe, but that even so, you fight for air.

It was pain at its rawest, most brutal, sharp and atrocious like a dagger blade. You would go through Dante's hells for eternity instead of living one day with that pain.

Since Spencer and the agents went after the person in charge, you have sat on the steps of the front door, watching the nature, the shaking of the trees, but your attention was so far, far away. Perhaps unattainable.

Gideon always loved watching the seasons go by, and in that moment, you wondered if looking at the same thing he looked at every day would make you feel close to him. Feel with him. It had only been three days since you last saw him, when he picked you up at the airport, but you felt like you were past three lives. How would you go without it? How were you able to think of living without it?

You pulled your knees up against your chest, hugging your legs, the metallic, atrocious and icy taste of devastation stuck to yours in your mouth. The trees shook hard, forcing the birds to fly away, but you didn't feel cold. You were not feeling the cold breeze hit your body, nor were your muscles contracting in exhaustion from the hard wood of the steps you were sitting on.

The hunger, the cold, the heat or the craving could not reach you, as if the pain had paralyzed all your system. Probably your soul.

You didn't see when Stephen put father's blanket over your shoulders, nor did you hear his sobs for seeing you so devastated. But you smelled Gideon, and the warmth of the blanket was like having his arms around you again. Then the rest of the water in your body found its way to your eyes and crying was as automatic as breathing.

You were clinging to Spencer taking the son of a bitch who did it, trying to chase away any other thoughts that weren't about that. You didn't want to think about what would happen after he was caught. Which meant his capture for you. It would bring justice to Gideon, honoring his name, his life, but it wouldn't bring him back. What was taken from you would not be repaired, regardless of the end of that damned man.

When he was caught, you would have nothing else to focus on instead.

You don't know how long you stayed there. Hours? Days? The those peach and gold tones in the sky is from dusk or the dawn of a new day?

You had lost track of time, as if your watch had stopped since the time Gideon died.

The sound of cars on the road was the only thing that pulled you out of your fucking valley, and as soon as the black SUVs stopped, you stood up as if you had been waiting your whole life for that moment. The blanket fell from your shoulders, heart accelerated at an alarming rate, and for a second, everything was gone from your mind.

Rossi was the first to get out of the car, but yours eyes darted to Reid. You wanted to run, ask what had happened, listen to the answers. But you were paralyzed in place. Afraid of the truth, of reality.

What would become of you after that news?

Spencer came towards you without hesitation, and you couldn't take your eyes off him for a second. He didn't say anything, nor did he explain anything. It was not needed. The way he reached out his hand and placed your father's rings in your palm were enough answers.

Your whole body shook and you looked at Reid with more emotions than askers.

"He is dead." He told you, and it made you fall down again.

But this time you fell into his hugging, clinging to him in despair. There were many meanings in that embrace: gratitude, relief, fear, pain and grief. And Spencer hugged you back in the same way.

You two stayed that way for a while, even when the agents went to talk to Stephen, even when Garcia and JJ left the house, even when the cold wind hit you both.

“Thanks." You heard yourself say it, and Spencer shook his head, signaling that it wasn't necessary, and the two of you moved away.

So you went to Rossi, and hugged him too. In that second, Rossi could feel Gideon in that hug, and it took a second to not cry.

“Your father was a great man." He told you when the two of you walked away, and you agreed on a sad smile.

"He was." You looked down at the rings in your hand, staying a second there before turning to the agents and saying: “You guys are going to the funeral, aren't you? I ... my dad would like it w-very much.”

"Of course." Rossi guaranteed it.

As they walked away and went back to the car, heading for their own houses, your eyes met Spencer's and he whispered in the air to you:

“I will see you at the funeral."

You nodded, giving you a sad, grateful smile. And while everyone was leaving and you were looking at the rings in your hand again, you had a feeling that your story with Spencer had just started over.

A/n: I also lost a very important person to death, and for everyone who went through it too, I mean that no one is alone! My message box is open if you need anything! Love you❤️

Tagged @gublersuvula

@peculiarinsomniac

@measure-in-pain

@nobutalsoyes

🍒 @misshale21

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i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend · 4 years ago

Text

In a Heartbeat ~ Doctor!Bucky x Reader Oneshot

A/N: Title subject to change. This is a GIANT CONGRATULATIONS PRESENT for my fave Doctor!Bucky lover and yours @captainscanadian Because my girl finished undergrad today! Congrats, bby! Enjoy this doctor!bucky fluff that I said I would write a million years ago. ;) I'm so proud of you!!

Summary: What should have been a fun night out ends in the ER. At least your doctor is handsome?

Characters/Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Wanda Maximoff

Warnings: Injuries (fractured ankle), hospital, getting a cast, xrays and catscan. I think that's it. Fluff

Word Count: 2190

For the first hour of your stay in the ER you couldn’t decide if the constant beeping from the machine beside you was calming or irritating.

As it rolled into the second hour, you settled on irritating. You glared down at your ankle even though it was hidden under the blanket. You moved it ever so slightly, wincing as it caught on the sheet.

You unlocked your phone, letting your friends know that yes you were still here. And no you didn’t have any updates. And no they shouldn’t feel guilty.

A small part of you had blamed them in the first moments, after all they were the ones who convinced you to celebrate the end of finals with some drinking and dancing.

You checked your make up in the mirror next to your front door before locking up. You glanced at the door across the hall, hoping to catch the eye of your hunky neighbor before heading out. But no dice.

Oh well. At least your dress would likely be appreciated at the club. You’d even pulled out your comfy heels. Heels which were now mocking you from their spot on the chair next to your purse.

You’d been feeling good strutting down the stairs of your apartment building when a group of college kids who had clearly been pre-gaming, thundered past you, forcing you to press up against the wall. When you’d taken your next step your heel broke and you went sliding down 15 stairs.

You’d thought your ass had taken the worst of it until you tried to stand up and immediately cried out in pain.

So instead of ferrying you to a club, the Uber your friends arrived in took you to the hospital. You’d sent your friends on their way once you’d been processed and were waiting to be admitted. No need to spoil everyone’s night.

But now five hours later and bored out of your skull you were regretting that decision. You were going to lose your mind. You’d only left the room twice. Once for an x-ray and once for a CT scan.

You turned on the TV and settled on the game show network, letting the episode of family feud distract you.

You were on your third episode when a nurse came in.

“Hello. I’m Wanda, the night shift nurse. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. I’m just eager to get out of here.”

“I’ll bet you are. Dr. Barnes should be in soon,” she assured you. “He just finished up a surgery.”

“Sounds good.”

She checked your chart, noting your vitals and making sure that you weren’t tangled in any wires.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Can I have some water?”

“Sure. I’ll be right back.”

Wanda brought back a cup of water and a warm blanket.

“Thought you might be cold,” she explained.

“Actually yeah. Thanks. Is there any way I can take this off?” You gestured to the heart rate monitor on your finger.

She shot you an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. It’s protocol.”

“Worth a shot,” you shrugged.

“I’ll come and check on you in a little bit.”

“Thank you.”

She bustled out of the room and you turned your attention back to the TV which had moved on the Price is Right reruns.

You must have drifted off because the next thing you know you were being gently shaken. Your eyes were finally able to focus on a pair of entirely too blue eyes.

As your brain caught up, you realized the blue eyes were set in a very handsome face. A familiar handsome face at that.

“2A?” you asked cocking your head to the side.

He chuckled as you readjusted yourself trying to discretely check that you hadn’t drooled in your sleep.

“Most people call me Dr. Barnes. Or Bucky.”

“Bucky?”

That made even less sense. You were certain the name on his mailbox was James.

“My middle name is Buchanan. And what shall I call you, 2B?”

“Y/n.”

“Well it’s very nice to officially meet you, Y/n. Although I wish it were under better circumstances. Let’s take a look at this ankle shall we?”

You nodded, and he took that as an assent to lift the blanket. He folded in neatly up over your knee leaving most of your lap covered. You grimaced when you saw the swelling was even worse now than when you arrived.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

You relayed your story to him, omitting the bit about hoping to run into him. He listened intently, making the occasional note but mainly he just nodded.

“I’m going to examine it now,” he announced.

His hands were sure and practiced as he gently turned your ankle from side to side. It twinged occasionally, so you focused on his features to distract yourself.

You catalogued each in turn but lingered on his sharp jawline. Your thoughts drifted to peppering kisses along it and down his neck.

You were startled when his cerulean gaze met yours with a concerned look.

“Did that hurt?”

“Not really. Why?”

You were genuinely confused by the question. You hadn’t noticed anything amiss in his examination.

“Your heart rate was elevated. And you, ummm,” he broke eye contact for the first time.

“I what?”

“Squeaked.”

Your eyes widened and your chest felt hot with embarrassment. You glanced at the traitorous machine which was live casting your racing heart. Although that probably was less of the issue than the fact that you squeaked.

“I guess the hospital just makes me nervous,” you lied lamely.

He didn’t look convinced but thankfully let it go.

“I just need to check one more angle.”

This time it was painful and you yelped.

“Sorry.” He gingerly placed your foot back on the pillow that had been elevating it and covered it with the blanket.

He held the CT scans and X-rays up to the light as you watched him. You once again failed to notice your heart rate climbing as you admired the bulge of his bicep.

Dr. Barnes however definitely noticed. He smiled over at you reassuringly, which failed to help the issue at all. He glanced at the erratically beeping machine, before looking back to you. You would swear that there was a hint of smugness in his expression. But he kept it well hidden.

“Well, I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news.”

“Lay it on me, doc.”

“Well, the good news is that you will not be needing surgery. It’s a minor fracture.”

“And the bad news?”

“It’s a minor fracture that requires a cast.”

“How long?”

“Eight weeks. Total.”

“Eight weeks on crutches?” You whined.

“You should only be on crutches for the first four. After that, assuming everything is healing well, you’ll be in a walking cast.”

You groaned and shot a murderous glare at your heels once again.

“The price we pay for fashion.”

“I’ll have Wanda prepare everything now. It should only take about an hour.”

“Well, that sure cuts into my dancing plans,” you joked, frustrated by being stuck there for another hour.

It would be morning before you got home.

“Is that where you were headed?” he asked as he pressed the call button.

“Yeah. My friends finally convinced me to go out with them for once and look where it got me,” you laughed humorlessly. “Well at least I’m done for the summer. So the leg won’t mess me up too bad.”

Wanda appeared in the doorway.

“What do you need, doctor Barnes?”

“I need a cast kit. For the ankle.”

“Got it. I’ll be right back.”

You expected Bucky to leave then, but he continued bustling around the room.

“You said you’re done for the summer. Are you a teacher?”

“Kinda.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you.

“I’m a graduate student. So I just finished up TAing for the semester.”

“Ahh. Are you doing research then?”

“I’m finishing up the edits on my thesis actually. So this might actually make me do it instead of procrastinating," you giggled.

“What’s your thesis on?”

You were in the middle of explaining your thesis, when Wanda returned. Genuinely interested in your area of research, Bucky continued asking you questions as he wrapped the liner around your leg.

From time to time he would grin up at you and the damn heart rate monitor would go off all over again. You’d gotten over your embarrassment for the most part, until Wanda had to suppress a giggle because your heart actually skipped a beat.

“Alright. You are all set. Wanda will grab you your crutches and your discharge papers. You’ll need to make a follow up with your Orthopedic in four weeks.”

“Since I don’t have an orthopedic on speed dial, do you know any good ones?”

Bucky chuckled.

“I’ll have her put my practice’s number on the sheet.”

“Thanks, Doc.”

“No problem. Do you have any questions before I go?”

“How long do you think getting all the paperwork sorted will take?”

“Not long. Twenty minutes or so. Why?”

“Just wondering if I should order my Uber now or wait.”

He glanced at the clock on the wall. His fingers drummed against the clipboard in his hand as he momentarily mulled something over.

“If you’re willing to wait another forty-five minutes, I can drive you home when I get off my shift.”

You immediately shook your head.

“You so don’t need to do that.”

“Please. It’s literally on my way home.”

You nibbled on your lip. It would be a lot easier.

“If you’re sure.”

He seemed almost relieved when you accepted.

“Absolutely. It’s been pretty quiet tonight, so you can just hang out in here until I get back.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

He smiled, softer than the other ones he’d given you so far before hanging your chart on the end of your bed and exiting the room, bumping into the glass door as he went. You stifled a giggle. Maybe you weren’t the only one affected.

It took a little over thirty minutes to get you processed. And before you knew it Bucky was helping you into his car. You went in butt first and then swung your cast leg, followed by your good leg in just a hospital sock. Bucky handed you your shoes and purse.

“So, do you chauffer all of your patients home?” You teased as you left the parking lot.

“Only the ones who live across the hall. Speaking of which, I am sorry this is the first time we’ve gotten to meet properly. Not very neighborly of me.”

“I can’t imagine why you haven’t made your way over with your loads of free time,” you deadpanned, earning you an eyeroll. “But however it happened, I’m glad that we met. It was getting to the awkward stage.”

“Yeah, seven months of passing waves is a long time.”

You hummed your agreement.

“So, how did you get into medicine?”

“Family business.”

He told you all about his surgeon mom and physician father as you drove home. His siblings were also in medicine and even his childhood best friend.

“That is so many medical degrees in one house. Must be rousing holiday dinner conversations.”

“We actually have a no shop talk rule.”

“And how long does that last?” you asked knowingly.

“Through appetizers… maybe.”

“Your family sounds amazing.”

“They are. I wouldn’t trade them for anything,” he admitted as he parked his car.

Bucky carefully helped you out of the car and up to your apartment. You’d never been so glad to live in a building with an elevator.

“I feel like I should offer you breakfast for bringing me home,” you admitted as you plopped down on the couch, and lifted your foot onto the coffee table exhausted from the crutches.

“You need to stay off that foot. But I’m sure you’re starving and so am I. Got any pancake mix?”

“Doctor Barnes, you really don’t have to do that.”

“It’s Bucky. We’re back to just neighbors here. And I want to.”

“How can I repay you?”

“Think about going out on a date with me when your leg is all healed.”

You cocked your head, as you appraised him.

“Just think about it?”

He scratched behind his ear as he shrugged a little.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you out for well… about seven months. But I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything. Because you don’t. I would have brought any of my neighbors home,” he rambled.

“You’re a really good guy,” you hummed.

“Could you tell my Ma that?” he joked, though his ears tinged pink.

“Happily. And I’d love to think about going on a date with you.”

He beamed back at you.

“I’ll take it. So pancakes?”

“In the cabinet above the fridge. Next to the chocolate chips.”

He nodded, taking the hint on your favorite add on.

“I’m on it.”

Eight weeks later when your walking cast came off, you and Bucky went out for dinner… for your two month anniversary.

Your heart definitely still raced when he smiled at you. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

A/N: There we have it! I hope you enjoyed @captainscanadian.

#bucky x reader #Bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #Doctor!Bucky #Doctor!Bucky x reader #Hospital AU

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literaphobe · 3 years ago

Note

WAIT WAIT I was scrolling through your blog and you said you watch running man?? oh my goood question! who is your favourite member? thought on kwang soo leaving running man? (also maybe gary and joong ki if you are there when they leave) thought on the new members? fav ep? i'm sorry but it been so long i found people who watch running man

unless you talking about a different running man then...I'm sorry please delete this post and sorry for bothering you

MY FAVE MEMBER. is. no surprise. SONG JIHYO. aka goddess and best at everything. i think i’m very drawn to personalities that always dominate n come out on top. jihyo isn’t really known for being the ace of running man anymore but in my heart she always is :( i also am a HUGE fan of her goddess of luck image like she isn’t as crazily lucky these days bc kwangsoo (icon of misfortune) is gone but if anything makes me believe in supernatural like. the concept of LUCK being a real force in the universe it would be because of her. the way she overcomes odds n comes out on top despite being a bit of an underdog in many situations is SO hot to me. here’s some pictures of her

she’s like. u know how george is like effortlessly pretty despite being just so idc about it? yeah thats HER like she doesn’t give a shit she just wakes up rolls out of bed n goes to work. she falls asleep everywhere too. one time they played giant jenga and one of them had to be on top of the jenga as a ‘risk’ for the jenga tower dying n at the time running man was 6 men 1 woman (her) and they asked her to do it bc they were all scared n she’s the bravest member (she once bungee jumped off a 233m tall building to HELP one of them she literally didnt have to either she just went WEEEEE they all worship the ground she walks on out of respect shes just so cool)

anyway here’s her sleeping on the jenga tower

like???? shes so funny. my second favorite member is kim jongkook n my fave pair on the show is them both :) jongkook is the super jacked guy whos also really smart n good at everything. like u know how whenever george/sapnap/anyone dying screams for dream to help them when they need saving in minecraft? thats like every running man member w jongkook

ANYWAY FAVE EP…. there are so many. i swear to god. but if i were to recommend episodes to start w i’d say the superpowers episode? when they all had superpowers n had to fight to the death (ep74) and the second yoomes bond ep (ep91, i LOVE yoo jaesuk my beloved nation’s mc), the princess race ep (ep103), n park jisung soccer eps (95, 96, 97) OH FUCK THE ZOMBIE EP WHEN THEY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL WAS FUCKING SICK TOO (ep98) and like uhhhh the baseball ep!! (ep119) and i’ll stop here bc the second people realize i have many episode numbers memorized i’ll look like a crazy person

BUT TO BE FAIR running man is the most popular korean variety show ever these mfs are straight up like A KPOP GROUP. they’ve held fan meetings which r straight up CONCERTS they sing dance etc etc they’re CRAZY u don’t GET IT they are a PHENOMENON,,, jackie chan was on this show RYAN REYNOLDS N TOM CRUISE WERE ON THIS SHOW

running man is literally what happens if u put a bunch of singers, actors, and comedians together n made them do crazy shit (literally everything under the sun has happened on running man. name anything PG. they prob did it on running man) AND THEY BECAME A FOUND FAMILYYYY and its so funny

i think joongki is so sweet n my beloved but i think ultimately him leaving helped the RM dynamic tighten up?? n it improved bc of it?? idk tho maybe itd be just as good if he stayed. i also was a tiny bit upset when gary left n it hurt the show for a while :( gary was so funny but also I HATE MONDAY COUPLE. FUCK MONDAY COUPLE IT TRAPPED JIHYO FOR SO LONG I HATED THAT SHIT. like its so crazy too bc imo they should never have had a loveline but if anything… do it w jongkook the one guy whos actually hot n has enough chemistry w her? they literally were called a ‘power duo’ all the time like brooooo i was so oppressed for liking their dynamic :( BUT HAHAHAHAHAH NOW JONGKOOK N JIHYO R FLIRTING ON THE SHOW ITS SO FUNNYYYY like yaaaassss straightbaiting 😍 its so funny too like there were times when monday couple was a Thing so the other members couldn’t “ship” other pairings but sometimes jongkook n jihyo would be so sus that they couldn’t help BUT say something u know but NOW ALL THE MEMBERS ARE FREE. yoo jaesuk risks his life every week to ship them and the others LOVE to fucking tease them

also kwangsoo leaving made me really sad but his injuries were too bad for him to risk his body every week like that :( all the members have slipped disks n severe back problems because of all the ways they hurt themselves making the show :( i hope kwangsoo comes back to guest soon tho like hes not Permanently gone the way gary is like gary straight up refuses to ever be on running man ever again LOL

also i like somin and sechan :D i admit i do prefer old running man dynamics but the current family is v cozy!! i think their loveline is sweet but i also think its HILARIOUS how the members mostly jaesuk don’t “care” as much about it like in that well get together sure but what we’re REALLY here to do is make fun of jongkook n jihyo ^_^ like they r cute its sweet ALSO somin being added is SO good bc YAY more than one woman also THEIR DYNAMIC IS SO CUTE like anyone remember that time they sabotaged each other in the game where they were competing by kissing each other?? good times

sorry for talking so much running man is literally one of my fave shows EVER n it hasn’t ended despite being a weekly show thats been running since 2010 (theres like over 500 episodes i KNOW im INSANE) like bro at the peak of my hyperfixation on this show I LEARNED THE FUCKING KOREAN LANGUAGE SO I COULD WATCH IT LIVE WHEN IT AIREDDDDD IM CRAZY FR

#ask #like not even my kpop phase at 11-13 was enough to make me learn korean #running man #DO TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS MORE ANON

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malaks-perch · 4 years ago

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wine tasting

consul valerius x reader

everyone loves a pain in the ass...

warnings: maybe some innuendoes? floof. spice and everything nice. soft angst, but i dont think so. sofff valerius? spicy valerius👌👌 swearing. i think there's swearing

a/n: sorry this took so long @taeguccibracelet and i think its kinda short. lil fast paced too. my ask is open.

now when nadia asked you to spend a day with valerius, you did not anticipate the forever drinking man to be so.. so.. so sassy.

i mean who could refuse nadia? portia came scrambling in as you finished speaking with nadia when the redhead announced the early arrival of some foreign ambassador the countess appraised your company and asked that you entertain her's for a while.

now honestly, you'd rather let them scream at each other until they lost their voices. neither of them got along, asra once dismissed himself, but the nadia's hopeful eyes were hard to ignore.

portia was silently thanking you a thousand times over as she trailed behind the countess.

when the courtiers got wind of this?

you? entertain them?

all of them scrambled for an excuse to be elsewhere. everyone except valerius.

"well? you heard the countess." he raised a brow, motioning to the door making the wine in the same hand violently jolt in it's glass. "entertain me."

you had to grit your teeth. bite your cheek. curl your fists. anything to keep from snapping on this arrogant son of a—

"are you going to stand there?" valerius shook his head unimpressed that his needs were not met. "if standing around is all you're good for, now that you've gone and defeated—"

"listen here, you pompous piece of palace trash." there went your restraint. words were flying fast and not a thought in your head would stop you from giving this man a piece of your mind. "the only reason you're here, valerius, is because nadia took pity on your drunk ass. you're lucky that asra stopped lucio from dragging you down with him because if it were me? i would have dropped you like a bag of dirt. entertain. yourself."

the audience in your head was applauding you for a flawless rebuttal to valerius. you were storming towards the door and already planning how you would unwind after dealing with him. honestly, the nerve of that guy—

a hand shut the door you had begun to open. fear spiked at your nerves. for a moment you forgot who you were and the identity of the person behind you. striking up an ounce of bravery, you followed the hand over your shoulder to valerius.

now.. you would expect a furious courtier. the smell of nectar and a sweet floral scent filled your nose that would have put anyone to ease, but the bitter trails of alcohol were a sharp reminder of who you had pissed off.

but upon seeing valerius at ease, you didn't know what to expect. he raised a brow, a tiny smirk on his face upon meeting your wide eyes.

"if i had been lucio moments ago that little outburst of yours would have you banished from the palace walls in a second."

you wanted to tell him that you'd purposely give him food poisoning, but the clarity of his silvern irises rendered you speechless. especially when he leaned in until he was a breath away.

"but it's a good thing i'm not him." he whispered, staring into your glimmering eyes.

there was a moment of stillness. valerius staring into your eyes and you trying to figure out why you didn't want to rip him apart for invading your personal space. but then it was gone.

he was gone. turning his back to you and skillfully picking up a few bottles of wine and an old glass in another. one moment you could taste the sweet aroma on his breath and another he was back to you.

"come along, magician." valerius raised a brow to you, peering over his shoulder with a smirk. "why don't we disappear for awhile? it'd be a shame for you to have an episode in front of the countess."

disappear?

your eyes widened. no way. he couldn't have— could he? you chased after valerius, running through the door after him, "was that a pun?!"

valerius rolled his eyes as you both walked down a hallway and off the veranda into the garden. it was then you realized that the path valerius was taking through the garden was one you were unfamiliar with.

you reached for valerius, clinging to his arm as you glanced around at the different part of the garden where valerius was taking you. he only smirked, never sparing a glance as stopped in front of rusted iron gates that towered over the both of you.

"valerius, if you even think of assassinating me—"

valerius let out something of a laugh before glancing over at you, "obviously the palace magician isn't aware of the previous count's cellar."

"lucio couldn't have—"

"as much as lucio would like to claim this masterpiece, this is far too classy for his tastes."

you fought a laugh, watching as he pulled out a gilded wooden key and unlocked the giant doors.

valerius ushered you inside and closed the door, unaware of how you'd suddenly looked doe-eyed when you'd begun to take in your surroundings.

plush pillows and blankets were set over every inch of the floor. shades of maroon and magenta set out in the floor while floating candles lit themselves up upon valerius muttering an incantation.

"it's amusing that you consider yourself important enough to be assassinated." valerius called, plopping down on a large black pillow much too big to be for just one person.

"and i suppose you are?" you scoffed, raising a brow as you took one of the bottles from valerius and sitting next to him on the blankets.

he set a hand on his chest as he set down wine bottles, "vesuvia would weep for me."

"i would weep for vesuvia if historians thought you were important enough to be assassinated." you snorted, opening the wine bottle so the cork flew past his head.

in turn, valerius mirrored you except his cork hit you square in the forehead. he chuckled at the horrified look you gave him.

in favor of preserving your honor, you chucked one of the pillows behind you and it landed square in valerius's face. he sat up in time to see you on your back, laughing at the way his face contorted with disgust, but upon seeing you smiling he couldn't help but smirk a little.

he handed you a bottle and you took it wondering what on earth made his lips turn up in the slightest.

"i didn't know you could smile, valerius."

"I didn't know the palace magician could have fun." he shot you smile, gilded eyes watching you from over the rim of his glass.

"you never asked." you teased, wrapping your lips around the bottle's rim and dipped your head back to let the sweet liquid sliver down your throat.

if you'd been looking you would have seen valerius nearly drop his wine glass while he stared.

his eyes focused on the length of your neck before trailing up to the wine that trickled from the side of your mouth. valerius tore his eyes away from you so he could gather his thoughts as he stared into his own glass.

"if you keep drinking, you're going to end up drunk." he rolled his eyes, relaxing into the pillows behind him.

he wasn't expecting a weight to come crashing down on the pillows to his right. his eyes snapped open and his head snapped over to find you with your legs propped on his and raising a brow at him.

"are you—"

"why don't you like me?" he nearly choked on his spit.

he met your brillaintly dilated eyes and nearly swore aloud for it. every time he found himself staring at them he would nearly forget what he was thinking.

you crossed your arms, waiting for an answer. with your hair messed up and how you laid back with that bottle of wine...

he found his thoughts dipping into the gutter.

"p-pardon?" he asked, opting for switching his glass for the bottle to take a nice long drink.

"why don't you like me?" you repeated without missing a beat.

valerius set his bottle down while he gathered his thoughts and waited for you to continue.

"you're always nitsticking me—"

"nitpicking."

"see?!" you pointed your bottle at him and his lips puckered when he realized that he'd proved your point. "then you're always looking down your nose at me. so tell me, consul~"

he watched you climb up so you sat up beside him. valerius tried so desperately to maintain eye contact, but with the alcohol in his system and the delicious warmth radiating off you- it was becoming a challenge.

"why don't you like me?"

he scoffed, taking your bottle and nearing your face with the slightst smirk. "i'm like that with everyone, darling."

you snatched the bottle from his lips and before he could ground something out, you were straddling his lap and pushing him back by his chest as you took a swing.

he swallowed when you never broke eye contact with him. one of his hands curling around yours that pressed to his chest before yanking.

you went falling forward and valerius' lips caught yours, drinking down the wine from your lips before pulling back to look at your flustered expression.

wine trickled down the side of his mouth and he grinned, flipping you on your back before standing up. "despite how very alluring you are, i propose we reconvene after we're both sober, yes?"

valerius helped you to your feet and promptly guided you out of the cellar upon hearing the guards calling for you.

you couldn't help, but watch as valerius locked up the cellar with the same pointed look as always except there was a tiny pull upward at the corner of his lips.

"i'm surprised you didn't we didn't wine, dine, and—"

you were cut off by his chuckle and his hand caressing your cheek, leaning into you. "obviously, you've had too much to drink."

"so you're into me then, consul valerius?"

a mischevious smile on his face before he waved his hand and let out the most dramatic sigh. "i suppose it's the pretty face that got me."

he turned meeting your eyes, the sharp gaze making your breath hitch. especially when he extended a hand towards you.

"but you can't say that's what drew you to me." his fingers looped with yours and tugged you to walk beside him.

"i think~" you sang, spinning in his arms as the sunset flitted over the gardens. "it was the wine."

valerius rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to your knuckles before you parted to join the guards waiting for you at the veranda.

"until next time, valerius."

you were halfway up the stairs when he called you back.

underneath the moonlight, arms crossed over his chest as he gave a teasing smile. even in the wine stained robes, he seemed most radiant as he stared upon you.

"next time, we dine first."

a giddy feeling bubbled in your chest and you couldn't stop yourself from smiling then. maybe valerius was the cranky, ill-tempered consul.

but he could be.. pleasant when he wanted to.

#the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana valerius #valerius the arcana #valerius x mc #valerius x you #valerius x reader #the arcana x apprentice #valerius x apprentice #the arcana x mc #the arcana x you #the arcana x reader #valerius #consul valerius #consul valerius x mc

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wendystales · 3 years ago

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Memories - lrh (Chapter Eighteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Seventeen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Nineteen

I remember the first time I really wanted to see New York. I must have been about 12 years old and was watching a random episode of Friends that was on TV. I saw those flashes of the city between one scene and another, and I thought it was amazing, the great stone jungle.

When I turned 16, my dad gifted me with a trip to New York, not because it was my favorite place in the world, but because it was on sale. There were 10 days where the only time I stopped to rest was bedtime. We went to almost every tourist spot, took thousands of photos and it was definitely one of the best trips I've ever been on.

Now, the city that I once wanted to know and live in, like the characters in Friends, felt like a prison. I wasn't there of my own free will or for a truly irrefutable proposal. I was there out of fear and passion, the most dangerous mixture.

I believe that at some point, a few months from now, I'm going to start loving New York, but right now, I can only feel contempt.

I pass through the arrivals gate, looking at those millions of unfamiliar faces, waiting for someone. I'm looking for a sign with my name or the logo of the Hastings Agency.

I find my name in the hands of a boy a little taller than me. Dark hair and fair skin, he needs sun. In an impeccable suit, but fumbling with his cell phone and notepad.

I approach slowly, able to hear his voice, replaying a million things. He said something about waiting for me to arrive and taking me to the hotel. Something about treating me kindly and not asking questions. I stop in front of him with a sympathetic smile, watching him widen his eyes and quickly turn off his cell phone.

“Miss McGonagall, welcome to New York.” he takes my hand, squeezing it and shaking it quickly. “I'm Edward. I will be responsible for your schedule.” I can't control the smile, noticing him nervousness. In other words, he was my Noah.

“Hi! Yeah, you can call me Marnie, that's fine. I prefer, actually.”

“Oh! Of course.” his cheeks turn pink. “Well, I'll drop you off at the hotel to rest and tomorrow at 8:00 am you should be at Valentino's studio for the rehearsal of the new bag collection. At 2:45 pm you should already be at Chanel's studio, they want to take your measurements and do some color and fabric tests for the fashion show at the end of the month. Then, at 5:00 pm, you will participate in the E! podcast, and I believe that after that you will be free for the rest of the day.” he passes it on to me as we head out of the airport.

“OK!” that's all I have to say.

“Sorry if I'm being nosy, but were you the one who required a lot of work for the next two months? I mean, you have a really busy schedule. If you don't want something, I can try to help.” he flips through the calendar while we wait for a car.

“No! It's OK. I was the one who asked. I was down for a while and I need to get back to work.” I give a slight smile, debating. "Hm, was the doctor I asked for by any chance be marked?"

“Yes! Wednesday at 3pm.” he smiles proudly, making me smile too. Edward seems like a nice guy.

We got into a silver car and went to the hotel. Along the way, Edward answers a few calls, closing in on his tasks. I seize the moment and close myself in my own world. I get my cell phone, turning it on and seeing that tsunami of people looking for me. Missed calls, messages, dm on twitter and instagram, everyone looking for me, but not him.

I lock my cell phone, trying to focus my mind on the new beginning I sought for myself. I admire the city through the car window, trying to find a piece of home there. I feel the phone vibrate in my lap with Kyleen's name, but I just decline the call. In seconds, the screen lights up again and several messages come in, I believe they are hers, but I don't even bother to look. I have no courage.

The car stops in front of the Intercontinental, and just like that, Edward jumps out of the car.

“Your loft, unfortunately, is not ready yet. So you're going to have to stay here for a few days.” he explains, heading towards the reception desk.

I stand behind him, taking in the details of the hotel. Before long, I'm entering a room on the 14th floor, with a beautiful view of the city. The bags are left in the small room before the bedroom.

I smile at my new “Noah” showing that everything is perfect.

“Good! I'll let you rest for tomorrow. Anything, these are my phones.” he gives me a card. "And you can call me at any time. I live near here, I will come in a few minutes.”

“Thank you so much, Edward. You are very kind." Again, your cheeks turn pink.

As he heads for the door, I start rummaging through my bags for pajamas.

“Hm, sorry if I'm not being professional right now, but since I believe we'll be working together in the next few months, I imagine a good relationship is essential, so you can call me Eddie.”

I open an even bigger smile, seeing that Eddie was willing to make a friendship, which is perhaps the thing I need most at the moment.

“Thanks, Eddie!” he smiles and this time he walks away, leaving me alone again.

I go back to looking for a more comfortable outfit, ignoring my cell phone blinking on the table as I muted it. I grab my clothes, heading to a shower and stay there for a long time, letting the water take everything.

When I get out of the shower, I pick up the bedroom phone, dialing my mother's number, I don't want to take the risk of answering any of my cell phone calls.

"Hello?" her lost tone makes me smile weakly.

“Hi Mom!”

“Hi, my love. How are you? Marnie, what's going on? Leah came here to say you left without saying goodbye. I called Luke, but he did not answer me and Noah said something about you being to move to New York, you told me it would be just a month.” I cover the phone, not wanting her to hear my cry, letting the tears fall. "Marnie?"

“I'm sorry, Mom.” I can't control my voice and pretend it's okay.

“Honey, what's going on? You can tell me. Mom will help you.” I realize she wants to cry too, and that hurts me more.

“I needed to do this, needed to get away from him.” the revelation comes out before I can see it.

"He who? Luke? Why? I thought everything was fine.” her desperate tone returns.

“I'm sorry I can't talk.” I close my throat, holding back tears. “I just want to let you know that I arrived well and that everything is fine.”

“Fine? Marnie, just look at your voice, your condition. I saw what you did to the apartment. Honey, things aren't fine.” now she was angry.

“Mom, please just trust me. I know what I'm doing.” Do I? I clear my throat, holding back the emotion. “I just wanted to call to say I got okay. Later we'll talk.” I hang up the phone before she asks anything else.

I head to the bathroom, drying my hair. I notice that yesterday's anger is still in me as I can't face my image in the mirror, refusing to look deep into my eyes.

With dry hair, I go back to my room, thinking about taking a nap, since I haven't slept all night and even less on the flight. I close my eyes, trying to focus my thoughts on something else. I think about that taxi I saw earlier, trying to park. Or people crossing the street without looking at the sign. At the cookie shop I want to see.

I manage to evade Luke's, my mother's, John's, and Noah's voices, giving myself more and more to the sleep that finally came. Far away, I hear someone knocking hard on the door, but I ignore it, as I had the same thoughts yesterday morning. But I wake up when the pounding comes back stronger and Leah's voice enters the room.

“Marnie Elizabeth McGonagall, open this shit now before I drop it and you know I'm capable of it.” I leap out of bed, running to the door.

She can’t be here.

I open the door, revealing Leah with perhaps the worst expression I've ever seen in the world. She was furious, if not more so. As she storms into my room without waiting for an invitation, I quickly look down the hall, seeing a couple look at me startled. I smile awkwardly, closing the door.

“What are you doing here?” I question, still not understanding.

"What are you doing here? And without warning anyone. Fading in the morning. Breaking up with Luke. What the fuck was that?” she screams.

For a second, I see that my amnesia was an issue with my plan. By not remembering my friendship with everyone, I really believed that I just left and everything would be fine. I didn't imagine anyone would cross the country for me, to understand what was going on.

And if Leah did it, it's a matter of hours before someone else does. They weren't going to leave me alone, they weren't going to forget me, and they weren't going to let this story pass. I need to push them away, but I don't know how.

"Go on, Marnie. What the fuck is going on? And if you tell me it's a job offer, I swear I'll fly at you without pity or mercy, and I'll slap the truth out.” she cross her arms.

I consider the last option a lot because I know she can do it. But I won't tell her the truth, that's not an alternative. I want to believe that if I don't back off, she'll see I'm not lying and won't attack me. And even if she tries, I just run away, I'm closer to the door and there's an armchair between us.

"But it is what it is!" I shrug.

“Stop it!” she screams. “Stop lying, Marnie. Everyone. Everyone knows you're lying, so why don't you tell the truth?” she waves her hands through the air.

“Because there's no other truth, Leah. Will I have to draw it for you?” I make the same moves she does.

“Be my guest!” she sits on the couch. I sigh wearily. I haven't slept for hours, I'm angry with myself and the world and now that I thought the situation was resolved and I just had to go on with my life, she comes and messes everything up.

“Why are you here?” I stay upright.

“I do not know! It must be cause you went crazy and disappeared without saying anything. Didn't answer my calls, no one had any answers about what was going on. So I took my father's jet and came to resolve this situation and I don't leave here without an answer at least.”

In the same way I laugh at Noah, I laugh at her, thinking it will fix everything. Leah carries the same expression as her brother, neutral, mocking.

“Why did you break up with Luke?” she asks quietly.

The mention of his name makes me shiver. I notice how my stomach turns and try to ignore it. I wonder if I can subtly extract some information from his state, but I don't want her to think I still care about him.

"Cause I wasn't in the mood anymore." I shrug, walking through space.

“My God, you've actually lied better.” I glare at her. “You know you're in trouble here, I know you better than anyone. I know you are lying and that you are going through some difficult situation. I even have my theories. So you're going to have to work a lot harder to trick me or get me out of here.” she cracks a smile, feeling victorious.

"Oh do you have? What are your theories?” I mock her.

“The first is that you really freaked out with amnesia and you can't handle it. The second is that you can't handle your feelings about Luke, it happened once before. And the third is that someone put some shit in your head and made you believe that everything would be better if you were out of the way.” I feel her gaze burning into me, looking for any reaction.

I let out a laugh, not forced, nervous that she got it right. Leah raises an eyebrow.

“You really traveled on your theories. Sorry, none are right.”

As if by magic, the answer appears to me. The only way I was going to get rid of everyone and go through with the plan without a hitch was to make her hate me. Make everyone hate me, just like I did Luke.

Just considering their hate for me makes my heart ache. But I need to do this. For Luke. For the boys. It's for their success.

“You know, a few months ago you were asked to be in a movie and you didn't take it cause you said you were a terrible actress. Isn't that right?” she gets up again. “Noah told me you said you were doing this for Luke, because you loved him. Marnie, what are you trying to hide?” she comes closer.

I feel dirty because of the attitude I'm going to take. It's low, very low, but I need her to hate me.

"Look who talks about hiding." I give a cynical laugh. Leah looks at me confused. "Don't you have anything to tell too?" she still doesn't understand. “You and Kyleen?”

Hastings freezes. The bitter taste of my act starts to fill my mouth. I’m sorry, Leah. I’m so sorry.

“How do you know?” she takes a step back.

"Who do you think closed the bathroom door on Ash's birthday?" I raise my eyebrows.

“Is not the same thing.”

“It isn’t? Aren't you hiding something from all of us?” I force a smile like hers a few minutes ago.

“No! Cause I'm not pushing everyone away, I'm not telling lies. And if you asked me, I would tell you the truth. Deep down, you know why I didn't say anything. You know my dad hasn't accepted Noah yet, that this is a problem in our family, and you know he wouldn't accept me either. You know that deep down I'm trying to protect both of us.”

“Oh! Do I?” I debauchery more. Right now, I feel horrible when I see your eyes water. I'm so, so sorry.

“I know what you're trying to do and I'm not going to stage it.” she walks past me to the door.

"Didn't you want to talk? I am talking.” Leah turns to me, straining the knife I carried in my chest, letting me see her crying face.

“You're trying to make me hate you.” now I'm the one who freezes. She laughs. “See how I know you? You are very predictable, Marnie. And as much as I know of your intention, I will not allow you to reach your goal. I hope that one day, not too far away, you realize what a big shit you're doing.” she opens the door, going. “Oh, and before I forget, since it's meant to hurt. Congrats, since your little chat with Luke, he's been locked in his room, needing Michael to keep an eye on him.” so Leah slams the door and strikes the final blow.

I bite the inside of my mouth, letting the tears fall. Honestly, I didn't even have the strength to hold back anymore. The rage burning inside me gives way to pain. I imagine Luke locked in his room, lying on the bed, hating me. Hating what we had and what we thought we had.

I walk over to my suitcase, pulling out a package, with the photos I'd taken from the box and the little white box he'd given me. I open it, holding the necklace with his name on it, the one he gave me.

Even knowing what I had to do, I wouldn't get rid of this necklace, I don't have the courage. It was easier to buy an equal one and put it in his hand. What he did to me would be kept with me forever.

““Closed eyes.” he fights.

"I have my eyes closed." I rebate. “Lucas…” I chide him, when I feel his lips on the back of my neck.

“Sorry, I got distracted.” I hold back the urge to laugh. “Closed eyes.”

"If you say it one more time, you'll get hit." I threat.

"How, if you can't see me?" right now, the urge to hit him is so strong that I follow the sound of his voice, trying to kick him. “Hey! No rudeness, otherwise you'll be left without a gift.” the false authoritative tone makes me angrier. “Good girl!”

“Go!” I kicked.

I'm startled by the icy touch against my neck. It's a necklace. Eagerly, I touch the pendant, recognizing the shape. He didn't do it.

“You can open it.” his hands move to my hips, hugging me.

With my eyes open, I run my vision to my neck, finding there a necklace just like his but blue.

“Happy Birthday!” he drops a kiss on my cheek.

I hold the blue quartz, seeing Luke's name engraved on the back. I let a stupid smile spread across my face, glaring at my boyfriend with the same.

"Want to explain why we're wearing practically identical necklaces?"

“It's a little obvious. Couples wear rings and I know what a problem you have with rings.”

“It’s not a problem.” I try to defend myself.

“It's just Alzheimer's. You know, in some people, it starts before they're 70 years old.” I hit him, and he laughs, before he hugs me. "Like I was saying, I know you're not into wearing a ring, so since I already had my necklace, I thought you'd have yours. That way we'll always be close to each other's hearts.” I rest my hands on his shoulders, standing on tiptoes.

"Have I told you I love you today?" I whisper, moving closer.

“Not after 5 pm.” he pouted, looking at the clock on the wall.

I don't know how I managed to kiss him with such a stupid smile on my face.

“Why do I like you, huh?” I question, stealing a little kiss.

“Because I'm cheesy and romantic. And even if you deny it, I know you get attached to it.” he opens a victorious smile.

"Don't ever say 'get attached' again." I beg laughing.

"What is it, bae? That was awesome.” he laughs.

“No!” I scream, laughing.

"What is it, babe girl? Don't you stick to my way of get in?” he keeps teasing me.

I place my lips on yours, determined to shut your mouth and thank you that it works. My mental reminder of “we're late for dinner” evaporates when his hands reach under my shirt. I scratch the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

“We're late for dinner.” he says against my mouth as I start to unbutton his shirt.

“Just say the traffic was like hell.” I suggest kissing his neck.

Luke accepts the idea, picking me up and walking me back to the bedroom."

It's not hard to know that we were late for dinner that day. But I didn't care, I had been given a necklace with his name on it, a necklace that showed how our relationship was getting more and more serious.

I also realize that the two times I got this necklace, at least once I ended up in bed with him. In fact, in both, but only one made it to the end.

“I hate myself.” I say tiredly, going to the minibar to get anything containing alcohol that makes me forget everything.

I call the front desk for two bottles of champagne and the biggest snack they have. I pick up the small whiskey bottles, turning one after the other, as if they were shot. I shake my head, wanting the effect to start faster.

“I hate myself. Leah hates me. Kiki must hate me now too. Just like Noah and everyone else there. Everybody hates me.” I turn the last one over, shaking my head once more. “Luke hates me. Hates me too much.” I comment, hugging the pillow.

I pick up a Polaroid of ours, staring at our happiness marked there. What am I doing?

I throw my head in my hands, lost. I wonder what might happen if I crawl into bed and don't go out for the rest of the month. Probably more people will hate me, but who doesn't hate me now? I mean, just get in line.

Awakened from the thought, when someone knocks on the door. For a second, I wonder who it was, then remember I ordered room service. I walk to the door, feeling the weight of the six small bottles.

My stomach churns and I feel an overwhelming urge to vomit as I land my eyes on the redhead in front of me. Red-haired?

"Bethany?"

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