#I just need to chase my bliss as well. Surely you understand

[ot3]

We need an ao3 filter that lets me only look for fanfiction written by people older than 22

[scekrex]

Consider chasing dick instead of pussy

prompt by @akiriyo

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language & implied sexual intimacy I guess

note: not beta read bc idc

You were completely zoned out, your hand was supporting your head so that it wouldn't slap down on the table.

It was yet another day of Adam complaining - seriously the guy was complaining more about his ex wives than you two were having a normal conversation about anything else. Because no matter what you were talking about, Adam somehow always found a way to talk about Lilith and Eve. And once started, his ranting could go on for hours, there were countless nights without sleep simply because the man wouldn't stop talking about his fucking cheating bitches of ex wives. And with every other sentence he then claimed that ‘he’s totally over it’ and that he doesn't need them anyways.

Fucking bullshit.

“Yo, are you even listening, bitch?” the first man asked all of a sudden, fingers snapping in front of your face to get your attention.

“You should've dated a fucking guy instead of these bitches, y’know. All fucking day you keep complaining about how awful they were, how they cheated on you with Lucifer, how they betrayed you and how you'll never be able to get into a healthy relationship with a woman ever again because of those two cunts. Well then fucking quit chasing after pussy and try dick, you fucking idiot.” In all honesty? You really didn't know where that came from nor were you sure if Adam had been able to understand you because of how fast you were talking but by God it felt good. 

Because for once there was silence. Pure, blissful silence.

“What?” was all that came from your counterpart. His golden eyes were widened, confusion was written all over his face and he seemed truly taken aback. You simply huffed, now that you had started it, you might've might as well finish it.

“Y’know all I hear from you lately is ‘That whore Lilith did this’ and ‘Fuckin cheating cunt Eve did that' fucking quit it already and date guys. If you would've looked at me back in Eden for once, just fucking once, you would've been able to save yourself a lot of trouble. But instead you were chasing bitches that were rather bouncing on fucking Lucifer's dick than yours.”

His expression changed, confusion was replaced with realization and you just thanked God that this man seemed to have enough of his brain left to catch on to what you were saying.

“Fuck, you-” the brunette started. He had sure been expecting something but this? This wasn't something he had been noticing, not until you brought it up that was. “You were visiting Eden because of me?”

“Ding, ding, full points. You want a fucking trophy for being able to follow my words?” you bit back, slightly annoyed by his oblivion. Had Adam really been that blind to not notice the ways you've been staring at him a little longer than friends did? That you were always there for him, no matter how late, no matter what?

Adam's expression soured slightly at your choice of words and he shot a quick “Fuck you” your way. “You could've just fucking said so y’know.” Another huff escaped you as you got up from the chair you were sitting on to be on eye level with him - Adam was still sitting on the chair across the small table. “I could've just said so? Are you kidding? I've been fucking trying to but every time I tried you brought up your ex whores.”

Adam was silent again, he did nothing but to simply look you in the eyes.

That was until he grabbed you by the collar of your robe and pulled you in roughly. You stumbled slightly forwards, your knees hitting against his as your arm shot towards the backrest of the chair Adam was sitting on in order to not collapse on top of him. And then his lips brushed against yours, harshly and firm, far from soft and lovingly. One of his hands wandered to your neck, he made sure you wouldn't pull away too soon. But you weren't thinking about ending the kiss, you had been waiting for thousands of years for this to happen.

Adam parted his legs to pull you in closer, your chest was now flush against his and his hand that had been gripping your collar just moments ago was now on your ass.

And all you were able to think about was that you now had an effective method to shut Adam up properly.

[thewalkingdilf2]

OMG I can’t believe I’m requesting this but I have to after seeing you wrote about it but can you write a Daryl x reader smut where she’s just super whiny and sensitive and he’s all mocking and kinda mean but some fluffy aftercare after? If you’re uncomfortable with this tho I totally understand!!!🫶

OMG i literally loveee the idea of daryl mocking reader for being super sensitive and falling apart at the slightest touch so don’t worry, i’m def not uncomfortable with it, LOL

a/n: apologies for cutting it a bit short and not adding aftercare, i didn’t want it to get tooooo long, but i did try to add some soft daryl in there in so it’s not just him being mean the entire time >.<

you’re gonna have to bear w me as i am very new getting back into this, i haven’t written anything in YEARS so i’m def rusty asf. apologies if my writing is redundant and overall just bad, i need to get back into the groove of things for sure.

gif creds: r66dus

Pairing: Daryl x Reader

warnings: nsfw 18+, poorly written smut, degrading, edging, a little bit of slapping, etc, etc, this is literally just porn without any plot whatsoever

not proofread!! sorry if there are any mistakes

word count: 2k

  "Daryl, pleaseeee, please let me cum," you whined desperately. He was practically torturing you, teasing your swollen, puffy clit with his rough fingers while he plowed into you from behind with his thick cock, grabbing the small of your waist roughly with his other hand, helping to pull you back into his hips. Strands of hair stuck messily to his strained, bliss-filled face from the sweat dripping down his hairline as he stared down at you, watching the needy mess you were turning into beneath him.

    "What'd I tell ya', slut? Gonna have ta' wait til I say..." Daryl grunted, "I promise if ya' cum without my permission, yer gonna regret it, pretty girl."

    This had been going on for what felt like an eternity. Tears welled up in your doe eyes as he kept his quick pace, shoving his cock deep inside of you relentlessly. You were so close. You whimpered, feeling the coil in your stomach tighten as if it was going to snap and burst at any moment, filling your body with ecstasy. You were ready to let go and finally give in to the pleasure he had been denying you, sloppily rocking yourself back against him to meet with his thrusts, chasing your high, until suddenly all movement slowed and was put to a gradual halt. He held your hips in place, preventing you from continuing to throw yourself against him. "D-Daryl, w-what the fuck, why?" you cried out at the loss of pleasure. You despised him in this moment, but your soaked, aching cunt was telling him the opposite.

"Can't have ya' cumming yet, girl. How're ya' s'posed to be my lil fucktoy if ya' can't even handle my cock?" Daryl pulled out with ease and flipped you around to face him. He smirked lightly at you, noticing the hot, wet tears streaming from your tired eyes, down your flushed, fucked-out face, making their home on your pouting lips. "Tears already?" Daryl cooed, "Ya' poor fuckin' thing..." He paused to wipe a fresh tear from your eye with his rough, calloused thumb. "So fragile like a lil doll... Fucking pathetic baby," he spat out, "practically useless... Can't even fuck ya' proper without ya' whining like a little bitch. Tryna' cum so soon too," he tsked, "I just started."

His degrading words stung like venom, but they made your pussy ache that much more. He knew you loved it, and you wanted to satisfy him. You glanced up and met with his eyes, "I'll do better, promise. Wanna be your good girl."

    Daryl grabbed you by the jaw firmly and forced your eyes toward his cold gaze, "That right, pretty thing? Wanna be good f' me?" he mocked. You blanked. His voice and condescending tone alone made your head spin a mile a minute; you felt more drunk off of his voice and touch than you had ever been from any amount of alcohol, and you had never needed him more in your life than you did at that moment. Before you could muster up a response, he flipped you back over on your hands and knees, pushing your legs apart, presenting your hot, dripping core to him. "So fuckin' wet and I've barely even started," he grumbled as he slid two fingers up and down your soaked slit, reveling in the image and collecting your slick on his digits, "Taste so fuckin' good." You couldn't see him while you were bent over facing the opposite direction, but with the obscene sounds of a slurp and a faint pop coming from behind you, you could only assume he was sucking your juices off of his fingers.

    "How 'bout this," he started, speaking with an almost menacing tone while running his hands up the soft skin of your back, making you tremble beneath him, "you wanna be a good girl for me? Let me eat this delicious pussy of yours, and if ya' can be nice n' quiet fer me, maybe I'll consider letting ya' cum 'round my cock. Tha' sound good, baby?"

    "God, yes," you moaned. Your clit was throbbing and your stomach was tied in knots; you needed him back inside of you more than anything, and you would do absolutely anything it took to get it.

   Daryl smirked, "so fuckin' eager." With that, he leaned over and took his first long, slow lick up your wet slit from behind, the taste of your cunt being so sweet he had to let out a low moan in appreciation; you tasted so perfect he could eat you all day long with no complaints.

    You trembled, struggling to hold yourself up after being teased and edged for so long. Your body eventually gave out and betrayed you, forcing you to slouch down, resting all of your weight on the bed. Finally having the chance to potentially cum made your head spin as he lapped up your juices with his skilled tongue, occasionally opting for little kitten licks or little suckles on your needy clit. Your head felt empty; nothing else occupied your thoughts other than Daryl, which is exactly what he aimed for when he fucked you like this. He wanted nothing more than to turn you into his dumb little toy, his ego swelling up like a balloon when he could affect you so much with his touch.

    A firm slap to your ass jolted you back to the real world. "I'm talking to ya', slut. Told ya' to get back up and hold yerself there. Are ya' really that weak and sensitive? Can't even lift yer own ass off the ground?" His fingers reached for your clit, ensuring you still had stimulation while he scolded you. You felt dizzy, overwhelmed with the pleasure of his fingers rubbing your sensitive nub.

    "S-S-Sor-" you stuttered, a desperate attempt to apologize so he wouldn't change his mind about letting you cum, your mind still spinning with overstimulation from all the pleasure you were feeling.

    "S-S-S," Daryl mocked, "use your words and spit it out, doll, or I'll stop and ya' won't get shit. My tongue got ya' that preoccupied, can't even hear me and respond anymore? Hm? Such a stupid fuckin' whore."

    "M' sorry!" you cried out. Maybe you wouldn't get to cum after all.

    Daryl could read the look of disappointment on your face, knowing exactly what you were thinking. His cock twitched at how pathetic you looked. Knowing you were such a mess beneath him and so desperate to cum for him made him feel like he could conquer anything. He loved the way you writhed under his touch and silently begged for more. He wasn't actually going to keep you from cumming, not today anyway, especially after how long he's made your poor pussy wait for him.

    "C'mere, doll, m' not done with ya." In one swift motion, Daryl hooked his arms around your soft thighs, grabbing you and pulling your pussy back toward his mouth, while simultaneously helping you hold the weight of your body up with his strong arms. He rubbed your thigh gently with one hand as he dove back into your heat hungrily, a small gesture to assure that you were still okay. Even when you two played like this, he always made an effort to read your body language and soothe you with gentle touches as a reminder that his rough, mean demeanor was all still pretend and fantasy.

    You convulsed as he lapped at your cunt, picking up pace and dipping his tongue in and out of you. You desperately tried to hold in your lewd noises as he had asked, but it proved to be a near-impossible task as his lips latched onto your sensitive bud and sucked gently, bringing it into his mouth, swirling his tongue teasingly against the tiny bead. "F-fuck, Daryl!"

    Daryl's movement slowed as he came back up for air, leaving an open-mouthed kiss against your slit, savoring your taste on his tongue as he pulled back, "Ah-ah, what did I say about staying quiet, doll?"

    You held your breath, determined to obey his request. He typically loved hearing your desperate cries and needy whines, seeing how loud he could make you get, but he loved teasing you too much. Anything that would be a challenge for you, he got a sick kick out of watching you struggle with, so he was content with forcing you to stay quiet for him this once.

    Quickly flipping you over onto your back, he delved back between your legs. Daryl trailed soft kisses up and down your inner thighs, nipping at the skin and sucking, leaving love bites that claimed you as his, and his only. He teased you at a dreadfully slow pace with his lips and tongue, trailing around your thighs and pussy, kissing around your folds, barely missing the spot that craved his touch so desperately. His facial hair tickled your thighs perfectly, leaving you shivering and silently begging your body to not betray you once more as he finally flattened his tongue to draw one long stripe up your core, it glistening in the light as his saliva mixed with your juices.

    "Ya' taste so good," Daryl moaned out, the vibrations going straight through you, causing your breath to stutter and your legs to tremble under his touch as he held them open for you. "Can't believe yer this fuckin' wet fer me, doll. Such a fuckin' whore."

    You covered your mouth with your hand as he flicked his tongue against your sensitive clit rapidly, devouring you like you were the last meal he'd ever eat. He slipped a finger inside of you with ease, pumping it in and out, curling it inside you. The astounding sensation made you break, forcefully arching your back off of the mattress and releasing a loud, muffled moan from your covered mouth. Daryl smiled against your aching core, glancing up at you with his piercing blue eyes, as he knew you were struggling to keep yourself from succumbing to the overwhelming pleasure.

    "D-Daryl, I-I can't... I'm gonna cum," you breathed out, dropping your hand from your mouth, reaching for a pillow, a blanket, anything close to you to grab and brace yourself with.

    "Didn't tell ya' you could," Daryl growled, still pumping his digit inside of you, "yer not doing anything until I say so, pretty girl."

    "Daryl, please," you begged him, but to no avail, Daryl stood his ground. The squelching sounds of your pussy continued to fill the room as you clenched around his thick finger. Adding another into the mix, he curled them up into a spot that made you see stars. As the length of his fingers continued to disappear inside of you, the knot inside of your stomach built up faster than you could prepare for, and without hesitation, it snapped. With a gasp and a loud, shaky moan, Daryl knew that you had came; he hungrily watched your eyes roll back into your head while your wetness coated his digits. He continued pumping them in and out quickly as you rode out your orgasm.

    "The fuck did I say about waiting, stupid bitch?" Daryl barked.

    "M' sorry!" You barely sputtered out, still trying to come down from your high, "Told you I couldn't hold it, I won't do it again, promise!"

    A sharp sting landed against your flushed cheek, and your eyes widened in shock; Daryl had just slapped you. Not enough to hurt in the moment, but definitely enough to shock you and cause heat to rush back to your core. You grabbed your cheek, surprised by the action, feeling the warmth radiating from where his hand had just landed.

    "Ya' think it matters what the fuck ya' tell me? I gave you an order," he spat, "If ya wanna cum that bad, surely ya' can do it for me again, ain't that right, pretty girl? I think I can get a couple more outta ya'."

    You shuddered at the thought of cumming again; there was absolutely no way you would be able to. "Daryl, I-I can't," you whined.

Daryl chuckled, "Course ya' can, baby... Don't worry, I'll help ya' out."

You were definitely in for it now.

[veilishvixen]

I’ve always hated how abruptly the balcony scene ends. Like how are you going to kiss me with the passion of a thousand burning suns and then just…turn and…skulk off?? Something was missing, so here’s the cut off I would have preferred:

“If the Dalish could raise someone with a spirit like yours…” he shakes his head and asks sincerely, “Have I misjudged them?”

She nearly rolls her eyes. Solas had never been shy in expressing his distaste for the Dalish, but she was still surprised to learn just how little he understood. The wayward and wandering clans rarely met for a reason; the only thing they had in common was their pigheadedness. The clans he’d met might very well have earned his ire, but there were many still he had yet to meet. Once again, he was failing to see the conundrum in his questioning; the nomadic elves were far too singular to be criticized as one.

“The Dalish didn’t make me like this. The decisions were mine.”

His brow twitches and he jerks forward ever so slightly, “Yes! You are wise to give yourself that due...”

I know, that’s why I said it. She’s wise enough to keep that bit to herself.

“Although the Dalish, in their fashion, may still have guided you.”

She wishes she could give him actual names to cling to; memories and stories like the ones he so freely shared with her…but something sharper than wisdom has her clamping her mouth shut.

He nods assuredly, “Perhaps that is it. I suppose it must be. Most people act with so little understanding of the world…but not you.”

She can’t help but give a miffed shake of her head, “So what does this mean, Solas?”

He gives her a smug smile, “It means I have not forgotten the kiss.”

Oh.

Oh?

Mischief chases wisdom from her mind with a canon fuse in its teeth and she delights in the sudden burst of energy that follows. “Good.” Her smile grows only for his to falter. Coward. Folding both hands behind her back, she steps precariously into his space, only deigning to stop at his toes so he could be allowed the first move. His desire is a heavy thing; more than just lust gazed down at her now, more than just love…but still, she wanted it.

He shakes his head, then shakes it again. Her chin lifts to follow his lips and she chases his arm before he can turn to leave her one last time.

“Don’t go.” She’d let him of course, if that was what he wanted…but it would have to be the end. She couldn’t allow this to go on any longer.

His head tilts miserably, “It would be kinder in the long run…but losing you would-“

He’s pulling at her waist and stealing the breath from her mouth before she can finish registering the words. Her hands rise instinctively to hold him back, but he’s already moving again, ushering her mouth to open wider for him while hugging her close enough to lift her heels off the ground. She moans involuntarily when he jostles her weight to grasp her tighter. How could she feel so full while being devoured at once? It was torment. It was bliss. Then it was a gasp of sun baked mountain air and a breathless avowal, “Ar lath ma, Vhenan.” She gazes jadedly up at him…could he even know what those words meant to her? She wasn’t surprised to feel sorrow…it followed her love everywhere; just as light suffered shadow. She loved him too. She found she could not yet say it aloud, but she did. Even when they disagreed and she wasn’t even sure if she liked him…she loved him. Her soul gushes at the epiphany and Genya wonders if it shows when tears begin to shimmer in his eyes. She catches the first one, but he’s withdrawing before she can wipe the rest away. At first she doesn’t understand, but then she hears the door close and a pair of heeled boots clicking up the stairs. “Inquisitor? I- Oh…my apologies.” Solas has put a casual distance between them and is leaning on the balustrade by the time Josephine crests the final step. She lowers her eyes before they can indulge in anymore curiosity, “Forgive me for the intrusion your worship, but it seems your counsel will be needed in the war room after all.”

Genya gives an amused sigh and dismisses Solas with an idle nod, “Let me guess…” his eyes pass over Josephine to steal one final glance…then he’s gone. “Leliana says we should kill her, you say we should negotiate, and Cullen says it is a waste of time.”

Her sigh is the only confirmation Genya needs. “Very well then,” she offers the ambassador her arm, “Shall we go introduce our friends to the art of conversation?” She hardly notices Josephine’s flutterings of gratitude, or the arm she accepts in earnest…all she can think of is Solas; the dreamer who wandered the fade just as she wandered awake…and all those precious tears she’d left him to wipe away on his own.

[lokisprettygirl]

Utopia (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x female reader) (Non Canon AU) (18+)

Series Masterlist

Summary: Appointed as a sous chef for the ship Queen Utopia you befriend the charming Daemon Targaryen and quickly develop an unrequited crush on him, not really knowing that your lives are about to get tangled in more ways than one.

Warning: 18+, smut, sex, menstrual sex, unprotected sex.

Note : I'll try to keep this fic short as there's no sub plot but expect 4-5 chapters at least. This fic may not be what you think it is 👀

Deadly locks is not finished but I had to get this chapter out of my head

“Y/n.. Chef Dalton wants to see you..like right now” You let out a sigh of resignation as Emma chased after you, so eager to bring you to Chef Dalton. You were really hoping to find a moment of solitude in your room to rest.

“My shift is over Emma, I'll see him tomorrow” you said to her so she crossed ahead in front of you to glare at you.

“Are you trying to get fired?” Emma asked you so you crossed your arms in frustration.

“Yeah? And they'll find the new sous chef in the middle of the sea?” You asked her so she sighed and glared at you in disapproval “Look i really need to go to my room, and take a painkiller or my insides are going to churn out of my uterus because of this cramp” You yelled in frustration, as you were at the end of your rope. Your stomach was swirling in pain, and you felt like you were about to vomit.

As the door to room no. 143 opened up, you saw him. Him. Daemon Targaryen. The Bane of your existence, well not really, you had an unrequited crush on him but that wasn't really his fault.

“What's going on ladies?” his husky voice made you feel flushed so you looked away.

“Hey Daemon” Emma giggled at him and he winked at her.

“Darling, you heard her she's in pain..she looks awful –” your eyebrows scrunched as he said that.

“Thank you” you murmured so he chuckled in response.

“Tell Dalton she's not feeling well ..he will understand” Emma nodded and sighed before she walked away to speak with Dalton.

“Come here–” Daemon grabbed your arm and took you to his room so you groaned internally but obliged“Take this” he offered you a pill so you glared at him

“I'm not going to take some pill from a guy i have known for a month” you said to him so he chuckled.

“Ouchh love ..i thought we were becoming best of friends” he faked an offense so you took the pill and swallowed it “It's for my migraine attacks..very potent..you'll feel better soon”

“Thank you Daemon..I'll go lie down in my room” he nodded as you said that. You didn't want to be around him in such close proximity, especially in his room because you were afraid of doing something really stupid. As soon as you got into your room, you couldn't help but sigh in relief. You laid down, kicking your shoes off to the side in favor of pure bliss and comfort.

You had officially met Daemon, the lead singer and guitarist of his band The Dragonriders, on your first trip from London to NYC aboard the Queen Utopia ship .You had watched them perform before in the club you used to visit frequently with Emma, she was your old friend and she was also the one managing the band. She had insisted you apply for the job at Queen Utopia, the cruise ship was launched just a month prior and had taken only four trips from NYC to London until now.

You had no intention of crushing on the lead singer guitarist of the band but it happened.

His blonde hair and mischievous smirk was enough apparently. But he didn't feel the same way, you could tell, he was in love already with the lead singer of the band. They were together for years but as they embarked on this journey she broke up with him , however he was still hung up on her.

Every night after your shift ended, you made it a nightly ritual to watch them play at the entertainment center. You observed as Daemon, sang his heart out for her, with his eyes fixed only on her as he belted out every song.

Initially you didn't really notice him, sure he was strikingly good looking but in an unconventional way, he was the type of guy you'd have to have a conversation with in order to truly see his beauty.

“Beauty? A guy's beauty? Really y/n?”

As the pain medication kicked in, your cramp gradually subsided, which allowed you to finally relax. As you were finally drifting off to sleep, you heard a knock on your door and groaned again because you had to get up.

There was no one on the other side of the door. Instead, you found a gift basket outside your door containing a get-well soon card, chocolates, and other comforting snacks.

“Feel better soon. Daemon”

Why the fuck he had to be so nice?

Now that the cramp was gone you really wanted to go see his band play at the entertainment center. You took your time to shower and change into a comfortable outfit of jeans and a shirt. Besides, there wasn't much else to do on this ship anyways.

As you made your way to the venue, you spotted Criston and Aemond tweaking their equipments.

Criston Cole was the drummer in the band and Aemond was their bassist, Aemond was also Daemon's cousin.

Cole had been trying to hit on you since you all got here but of course your eyes were on somebody else, someone who wasn't really available.

As you made yourself comfortable at the bar, you observed Daemon and Lily engaged in a conversation, with her giggling at everything he was saying and he seemed so proud of himself for making her feel that way. It didn't take a genius to see why he was so in love with her, she was beautiful like an angel and she was exceptionally talented as well.

“You know you should just tell him that you want to bone him” Emma sat next to you so you glared at her.

“I don't want to bone him okay?”

“Then stop giving him the bedroom eyes”

You rolled your eyes as she said that.

“So what's their deal, like why did they break up?” You asked her sheepishly and she chuckled in response.

“I don't know..they had been together for years since they were kids..I guess she wanted to explore what else is out there ..she's a dreamer”

“Huhh?”

You leaned back in your bar stool as the sound of his guitar riff blasted in the air. It was the opening to I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic monkeys.

They occasionally played their original music but there weren't many of that so the band mostly opted to play cover songs

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours

“I'd cream my panties if someone looked at me like that while singing” Emma said as she sipped on her drink, you groaned internally as you watched Daemon and Lily eye fucking each other on the stage.

You had been groaning a lot these days and most of the time Daemon was the reason.

Once the show was over Lily and others ran up to you both.

“Great show guys” Emma immediately hopped off the stool to go hug them one by one,

“Thanks darling..I'm gonna go get a drink” Lily said as she excused herself from you two so you gave her a smile.

“Hey grumpy..i thought I wouldn't see you tonight” Daemon mumbled as he hugged you.

“Well I'm not here ..I'm just a ghost” you said to him and his eyes widened playfully.

“You know what helps with cramps?” He asked you so you looked at him curiously and waited for an answer..

“Sex”

“You're disgusting Targaryen”

“Just being honest..tried and tested”

“Ewww” he smiled but as he watched Lily having a conversation with a new hot passenger his smile faded. He was fuming with jealousy you could tell so you ordered a strong whisky and offered it to him.

“You know…this helps with that” you mumbled under your breath so he rolled his eyes but accepted the drink.

After several rounds of drinks, Emma suggested that you and everyone else should head to the club in order to celebrate the night. Emma's proposal was met with a general agreement from all the band members except you, “You guys should go ..I don't want to impose” you mumbled politely

“Ohh bollocks you're a part of the group now baby” Cole winked at you and it made you want to smack him for some reason.

“Grumpy” Daemon said under his breath so you sighed and eventually agreed, it was actually really nice to have people on the ship you could hangout with, otherwise it would have gotten really lonely really fast.

As you all reached the club Daemon asked you to dance with him.

“Look i know you want to make your girlfriend jealous n all but I'm not going to be that chick for you” you said to him while you were already hand in hand making your way to the floor.

“I just wished to dance”

“Sure you did”

As you both became more and more inebriated, your minds drifted into an altered state, allowing you to let loose and revel in the moment. You felt like you were on top of the world, filled with the type of carefree joy you haven't experienced in a long time. However every time his eyes lingered away from you and got stuck on Lily you noticed it and it hurt..

Later that night, as he walked you to the room he was quiet and he seemed upset as well because he had clearly seen Lily walking out of the club with that hot guy she had met before.

“It doesn't suit you” you said to him as you entered your room so he grabbed your arm and pulled you into his chest which immediately made your breath hitch in your chest.

“What doesn't suit me?” the smirk on his face was apparent as he questioned you.

“This whole heartbroken hung up guy look..you're a handsome man..hot ..sexy even..like extremely sexy and you can have anyone you want -”

He smiled as he looked at you, your entire being cringed at the cliche phrases you had used just now but as his fingers curled around your scalp you suddenly felt so shy and taken aback..this was going to be a mistake you knew that.

“You think I'm sexy?” He asked you so you nodded.

“Show me”

“What?”

“Show me how sexy do you think I am”

“Daemon you're drunk-”

“So are you”

“I know”

Without wasting a second further he leaned into you and kissed you and you wanted to stop him and push him away, not because you didn't want to do it but because you didn't want to be rebound fling. Despite your better judgment, you felt yourself succumb to his kiss and leaned into him to kiss him back feverishly..

“I'm on my periods “ you mumbled between the kiss so he chuckled.

“I don't care..I'll be gentle i promise..i know you want this darling..i see the way you look at me” His voice lowered to a seductive whisper as he laid you down on the bed and you propped yourself on the elbow to see him undress. Eyes blew out of the sockets as he took off his shirt, you knew he was muscular but you didn't expect him to be chiseled so perfectly.

Your mouth gaped as he lowered down his pants and he hurriedly unbuttoned your jeans to pull it off you ..

“Fuck I don't have the condom” he groaned as he looked down at you but the frown on his face disappeared as he leaned down to kiss you again.

“Are you on pills honey?” He asked you so you nodded like the desperate whore you were.

“Oh good girl ..you're a good girl” he whispered in your ear and your fingers clutched onto his biceps as he suddenly pushed his cock inside you, the wetness from your arousal as well as the unfortunate bleeding made it so slick and easier for him to thrust in and out of you

“Daemon–”

“Shhhh baby quiet..don't talk..”

The sound of his cock slipping in and out of you made your head spin even more and more, this was a mistake you knew that but you felt helpless, you had been lusting after him for a month so you took your chances in your inebriated state.

“Oh yeah..fuck..” he grunted and moaned and every little noise he made only somehow increased your arousal for him “Such a tight cunt ..oh precious lily I love you”

And there it was, the mumbling of her name that somehow made you feel sober for a moment ..

“It's y/n” you mumbled softly, almost on the verge of breaking into tears so he leaned down and kissed you again.

“I know? What's wrong?” He asked you so you looked at him for a moment but then you didn't say anything, you didn't want to ruin the moment. Instead of pushing him away like you should have done in the first place you kissed him instead.

“Keep going..fuck me please”

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur, you remembered him stumbling his way into the bathroom to clean up and then he helped you do the same and then he puked his guts out in the sink which you had to clean up.

The next morning when you woke up he was not there in the room but you didn't have the time to worry about that or nurse the pounding headache you had because you really had to be in the kitchen. Your shift was going to start in five minutes. However as the hours passed you began to feel nervous about last night, you had a crush on him and he was in love with someone else, you really wanted to turn back the time and stop yourself somehow from fucking up this badly.

As soon as you had a moment of free time after your shift, you located Emma and inquired about the band's current whereabouts. Upon learning that they were rehearsing, you felt an immediate compulsion to make your way to the rehearsal room to speak with Daemon. You wanted to tell him that you weren't expecting anything from him, even though the truth couldn't have been farther from it.

“Hey” you said to Daemon as you knocked on the door of the rehearsal hall and they all passed a look at each other before Daemon excused himself and walked towards you, he grabbed your arm harshly and pulled you outside.

“What are you doing?” he let go of your arm as he spoke, he seemed upset.

“Calm down..I just wanted to talk” you chuckled to lighten up the moment but it didn't really work.

“About what?”

“Daemon”

“It was just sex..we are adults ..we were both drunk and we had sex..that's it..” he was talking to you as if you were five and didn't really understand the situation.

“I know I just–”

“Are you going to be a clinger now? Really? I like you y/n i do ..but only as a friend” his tone was offensive and that only infuriated you further.

“You're being a jerk, you know that?” he chuckled as you said that but then his jaw clenched.

“Really? Didn't seem to think so when you were moaning my name in bed like a whore?”

You slapped him on the cheek, his words were really hurtful not only because he was being mean but also because you actually liked him and you had never been spoken to this way before so it really bothered you.

“I thought we were friends -”

“We are and that's why I was hoping you won't create a scene”

“I just wanted to talk” you raised your voice so he glared at you.

“About what? We slept together..big deal”

“Okay now i know that..forget that i said anything” you turned around to leave and he didn't stop you or anything.

He didn't care at all.

Daemon huffed as he went back to the rehearsal room. What was he thinking last night? Well that was the problem he wasn't really thinking, Lily was talking on the phone while Cole came to him and looked at him suspiciously.

“What was that about?” He asked Daemon to which he responded with a sigh,

“I messed up..we fucked last night..I fucked y/n..don't tell Lily” Daemon said hurriedly

“Why not? She's not your girlfriend anymore” Cole asked, there was a look of amusement on his face.

"I can't afford for her to think I'm messing around. She'll realize what she's missing out on and come crawling back.”

“What about y/n?”

“What about her?” Cole looked at him so Daemon rolled his eyes “We are adults, we were drunk and had sex..big deal” he repeated the same words he had said to you even though the guilt had started to creep in already.

He wasn't a mean bloke, especially not with girls like you but he had been the biggest arse of the century just now.

“Does she feel the same way? she doesn't seem the type to sleep around either” Cole asked him curiously.

“I don't care”

“Cool..so I have my shot open here huh ?” Cole winked at him and Daemon's smile faded, now sure he didn't want to date you or even sleep with you again but then why did the thought of Cole having sex with you made him feel uneasy?

Memories of your body underneath him last night flashed through his mind throughout the day, the way you looked so beautiful and how you responded to his touch and – no he had to stop thinking. He was just feeling guilty for hurting your feelings or whatever, he had a sweet friend in you and he had ruined that now with his big mouth.

At night as they played again at the entertainment center, his eyes looked around for you but you weren't there and he felt even more horrible so once their set was finished he took the lift to the lower deck and made his way to the employee's quarters to go see you. With bated breaths he knocked on your door.

“What do you want?” You asked him as you glared at him.

“I'm sorry about this morning” his voice no longer held the hint of insulting arrogance as before but that doesn't mean you were ready to forgive him.

“Fine..you can go now”

“Y/n..can we just talk?”

“No i hate that..I hate talking and i definitely don't need a speech ..it was my fault too..i knew you were hung up on someone so I should have been more careful” your eyes teared up as you spoke, making your voice quiver and you despised the way your body has betrayed you just now by being so fucking weak.

“I like you y/n..as my friend and as my neighbor here”

“I just told you I hate the talk”

"I know, I know, I just wanted to let you know that I'm not just some total wanker who did this just to hurt you, yeah?” you crossed your arms as he said that.

“Okay I get that”

He nodded but he didn't know what else to say to you so he wished you a good night and decided to go to sleep himself as for some reason this thing between you two had really bothered him.

For several days, you successfully dodged any potential encounters with Daemon. Though you noticed him watching you from a distance whenever you guys bumped into each other in the mess hall or the entertainment center but you understood that it was nothing more than guilt and embarrassment on his part. You did your best to keep your distance but one night when you noticed that he wasn't performing with the band, your concerns grew.

“Hey lily..where's Daemon tonight?” You asked her as you met up with her at the bar so she gave you a smile as she turned away from the gentleman she was speaking with

“Ohh he had a headache so he's in his room”

“You mean the migraine?” you asked her so she chuckled.

“Yeah same difference”

You excused yourself as you wanted to check up on him now as any other neighbor would. He brought you a gift basket when you had cramps.

You were just being a good neighbour.

You made your way to his quarter and knocked incessantly but when he didn't open after a few knocks you decided to twist the knob and see it for yourself.

“Lily is that you?” You rolled your eyes as you heard his low and gravelly voice.

“No it's someone you don't want to see”

You neared the switch board to turn on the lights as you spoke.

“Don't turn on the lights please.. it hurts”

You sat down on the bed as he said that and then you huffed as you laid down next to him, albeit maintaining a proper distance from him..you didn't want to come across as a clinger.

You turned your head to look at him as your eyes have now adjusted to the dark, he was shirtless and had placed a cold towel on his face, that probably helped with the symptoms.

“Does my perfume bother you? I'll go if it's intense” you said to him so he reached for your arm, you were thankful for the darkness because you didn't want him to see how much he was affecting you.

“No stay…distract me”

“How?”

“Sing”

“I'm awful at singing”

“Try”

You sighed as he said that.

“No.. I'm not going to sing. You know sometimes I get this smell of wet wood around me even though it's not there and then I have this intense headache..is that a migraine?” You asked him so he pulled the towel away from his face to look at you.

“Could be”

You didn't say anything after that so he cleared his throat before he spoke again.

“Y/n”

‘mmm”

“I'm sorry”

“It's okay..it wasn't just you..i should have been careful and i should have known better” he chuckled as you said that

“Well I'm not sorry about the night ..I'm sorry about how i treated you the next morning”

You couldn't help but smile as he said that. Well at least he was feeling something.

“Well perhaps you're not a jerk after all”

“Thank you..that means alot to me”

“Why?”

“Because you're my friend and I have grown to really care about you y/n”

You went to sleep that night worrying about your blooming feelings for the man that you knew would never feel the same way about you.

You fell into a deep slumber that was only disrupted by the sudden chaos that erupted around you in the form of screams and the wailing of sirens. As you woke up the warning red light in the room was flashing continuously,

“Attention, this is the Captain speaking. Our ship is taking on water, and we need to abandon ship immediately. I repeat this is an emergency. We are experiencing a major breach in the hull, and our lifeboats and life preservers are ready to be deployed. Do not try to save your belongings. Your safety is your first priority. We repeat, this is an emergency”

A sense of excruciating fear washed over you as you heard the message on the speaker, your life was about to change forever.

"Abandon ship immediately”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Note : Let me know if you want to be tagged

[avatar-anna]

hey, please, can you write a story where harry has a dream about a girl he has never seen in his life (y/n) and it is from that dream that he writes the song "She." Then a while later, totally by chance of life they end up meeting, and harry's reaction is like "WHAT THE FUCK? 👁👄👁"

because the vast majority of our dreams involve mundane elements from our waking life, it stands to reason that the strangers in our dreams also come from waking life, even if we don’t recognize them in our dream (Stanford University).

Laughter like bells tinkling. The soft curve of a smile. His cheek being caressed. A single strand of hair being pushed from his face.

She was everywhere, all around him. Darting around between swaths of fabric. Snippets of bare shoulders and hips peeking between pale pink sheets.

Harry knew she was there, but he could never get to her, always just out of reach. She spun around him, dancing with delight and giggling whenever he got close.

He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t reach her, why she was taunting him. But the chase gave him a thrill, kisses on his cheeks and fingertips grazing soft skin making him want to see her all the more.

He was getting close, he could feel it. Her touch lingered more and she whispered his name, taunting him. And when he finally did manage to reach out to her, to kiss her, to see her face, she covered his eyes with the palm of her hand before leaning in. He felt the sensation of pure bliss before waking up from the reverie.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“I swear, it was so real,” Harry said, walking down the streets of Los Angeles with Mitch.

“Well, yeah, that’s kind of the point of mushrooms, H. Dreams like that become vivid.”

“No, but it’s more than that,” he reasoned. “She haunts me every time I close my eyes now.”

Mitch hummed, but Harry could tell his friend thought he was mental.

Maybe Harry wasn’t explaining it right. He knew that hallucinogens made said hallucinations feel real, but what Harry experienced was more than that. He was dreaming, but when he woke up, he swore his lips were tingling from the dream woman’s kiss.

“We should do them again,” Harry said. “The mushrooms.”

Mitch looked at his friend skeptically. “I mean if you want. There's no guarantee that you'll have the same trip.

Harry knew that, but he was also convinced he would see this woman in his dreams again.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She was there again, but this time in vibrant shades of yellows and greens and pinks and blues. And she was harder to catch too, like the harder he tried, the further away she got. She was making his head spin

“Wait, please!” he tried to say, his voice echoing over the field of daisies they were running through. Each petal that brushed against his arms and legs felt like glitter and drops of sunlight tickling his skin. He wasn’t even sure how one would feel something like sunlight, but that was how it felt.

Harry kept running, kept calling out to her, even though he knew it was useless. He just needed a name, something definitive so that he could remember her when the trip was over.

But just as his finger tips grazed the gauzy fabric of her dress, the dream disintegrated into nothing.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“At least we got a great fucking song out of all this,” Mitch said.

“I just don’t get it,” Harry replied. “She just seems so real.”

Harry was unable to put a name to the woman in his dreams, but he didn’t think taking mushrooms until he got the answers he wanted was the best solution. She would remain a mystery, haunting him day and night until he eventually forgot her, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

“Dreams tend to—”

“Hey, you left your wallet on the counter by the cash register. I thought you might need it.”

It wasn’t uncommon that people came up to Harry and Mitch while they were at the little cafe. This had been dubbed a regular hangout spot for Harry by his fans, so naturally, his fans would come to see him, take a picture with him, have him sign something. Harry didn’t really mind, he loved his fans. Mitch was still getting used to the fact that if he was with Harry, odds were that fans were not very far away, but he was polite to everyone and mostly kept to himself.

But this wasn’t a fan, nor was it a waiter or barista bringing them their orders. No, this person was merely another patron of the cafe. A good Samaritan, seeing as she was bringing Harry his wallet.

Looking up to thank the young woman, Harry nearly spat out his coffee.

It was her. The girl he’d been seeing his dreams. Standing there in the flesh in front of him.

She wasn’t in a flowy dress like the one she wore in his dreams. Instead she was in a plain white tank top and a pair of plaid trousers. More appropriate for the cafe they were in, but it just cemented the fact that this was no dream or fantasy, this woman was standing in front of him in real life.

Mitch had to kick Harry under the table to get him to say something. The sharp pain made him realize he’d just been openly staring at the young woman. She looked back at him, though she seemed more perplexed than when she first came up to Harry and Mitch.

“Right, um, tha—thank you,” Harry stuttered, blushing for no other reason than his mind recalling how she’d kissed him in his daydreams.

His hand was visibly shaking as he reached out for his wallet, but no one commented on it, though Mitch did have to hide a smile behind his hand, to which Harry responded with a kick of his own.

“No problem,” the woman said, a smile that looked a little forced on her face.

Quick to rectify the awkward encounter, Harry blurted, “Sorry, I—I just feel like we’ve met before, and it’s...Well, it’s left me quite speechless.”

That wasn’t creepy, right? He didn’t mention how he’d seen her in his dreams, which would definitely scare the young woman off before he could even get her name.

For a moment, Harry wondered if his infatuation with this woman started and ended with his dreams, but that theory was quickly debunked when she smiled. He felt his heart quicken as his stomach became all fluttery. Most of the people who knew Harry would classify him as “the shy type,” but this was an entirely new feeling. He’d never been struck dumb by someone before.

“I’ve seen you around the cafe before, but we’ve never actually met,” the woman said, both hands buried in the pockets of her trousers.

“You—You have?”

The woman nodded. “Yeah. I’m usually over there,” she said, pointing to a booth that was about three tables away from Harry and Mitch’s usual spot. “I see you almost every time I’m here.”

“Oh. That’s—That’s, um...”

Harry didn’t know what to say. It was clear that he’d obviously seen this woman around the cafe before, the memory of her face had just been buried beneath his subconscious. She wasn’t merely a figment of his imagination, she was real, standing right in front of him and waiting for him to say something.

“What H is trying to say is thank you for bringing him his wallet,” Mitch said when Harry still failed to speak.

“Of course,” she said, giving Harry a small smile. Then to Mitch, she stage whispered behind her hand, “Is he okay?”

Harry’s cheeks flushed. This was not how he expected his day to go. His literal dream girl thought he was an idiot.

“Yeah, he just had this dream and you were in it, and now he’s freaking out because—”

“Because we’ve never actually met and now we have,” the woman said, her cheeks flushing at the mention of Harry dreaming about her.

Harry was mortified by the turn this conversation had taken. Why the hell would Mitch tell her? She would think he was some creep. Then, his eyes widened with a quick realization.

“It wasn’t like a—I mean it wasn’t inappropriate. The dream, I mean. We didn’t—I didn’t—”

And then she did something Harry absolutely did not expect. She laughed.

It wasn’t a teasing laugh, more like just finding the whole situation funny kind of laugh. But it was the laugh. The one he’d heard in his dreams. The sound of it caused the butterflies in his stomach to stir even more.

He didn’t say anything about it, though. He’d made enough of a fool of himself in front of this girl to last a lifetime.

“I can’t believe this. Harry Styles had a dream about me,” she said, sounding amused. Then, once she’d settled down a little, she said, “Though, if it makes you feel better, dreaming about strangers isn’t as uncommon as you think.”

“Really?” Mitch asked, curious.

“Mmhm. I mean, it’s all basically conjecture because scientists can’t physically study people’s dreams, but the theory is that our mind doesn’t just make up faces on it’s own, it pulls from what it already has, i.e., strangers you see every day. And of course, dreams aren’t typically vivd enough to study anyway, but you said you—Sorry, I went off on a little tangent there,” she said, her eyes bright and filled with fascination.

“It—It’s fine. It actually did make me feel better,” Harry said. At least she didn’t think he was crazy.

“How do you know all that?” Mitch asked.

“Oh. I’m studying it in school. Neuroscience, I mean, but dreams are a part of that.”

Harry blinked. He never thought he would actually meet the girl he dreamed about, but he never would’ve expected her to be a university student studying neuroscience.

But now that he was learning little things about her, he wanted to know more. He wanted to know what she was learning right now and if she came to the cafe to study. He wanted to know what she ordered here and who she went home to when she left. He wanted to know about the little scar on her cheek and how she managed to get her winged eyeliner so symmetrical. He just wanted to know her, but he wasn’t sure if he would get the chance.

“That’s—That’s—incredible,” he finally managed to say.

She smiled, and it made Harry’s heart pick up speed. “Thanks. They’re out of coffee here, so I have to get going, but,” she paused to search for something in her purse. A pen and a scrap of paper. “If you want to discuss your dream some more, or not discuss your dream and just talk about whatever, you can give me a call.”

Harry watched as she scribbled her phone number on the piece of paper and handed it to him. He took it, trying not to look too eager, though how he could make an even bigger fool of himself was nearly impossible.

“Thank you. I’d like that.”

“It was nice meeting you both,” she said with a wave before turning on her heel and leaving the cafe.

Harry wanted to call out after her, to ask for her name, but he didn’t. Instead, he looked down at the phone number. All ten digits, hopefully not a fluke. And written below it in loopy handwriting, was her name. He couldn’t help but smile.

“You would get someone’s phone number out of this,” Mitch muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Y/n L/n,” Harry said, ignoring his friend’s jab. He liked the way it rolled off his tongue.

Taking his phone out, he saved the number to his contact list. He thought about whether or not he should text her right away, but ultimately decided that he was pretty obvious about being interested in her. To hell with it, he thought, sending a quick text.

What surprised him even more was Y/n’s quick response, as if she’d been waiting for him to text her. The thought made him smile. Perhaps he didn’t muck things up too badly after all.

[aromanticannibal]

rape mention cw

hmm. if it was me ig the crux of the matter would be figuring out what's the story I wanna tell here? like, you know your big final resolution will be about, if I followed what you're saying, human dignity as an inherent extension of having a consciousness at all, and the recognition and acceptance of self through the other. so I think the way that kind of ending would work is basically something like a mutual uno-reversed 'well now that I don't consider you as a part of me but as your own person instead, idgaf how awful you (think you) are, I've decided you have rights. except we are the same person so this applies both ways and as a consequence maybe this means i automatically have to think this means i have rights too, damn'

so like, you've apparently already got that out of the way, you know the direction you're heading in. and my understanding is you feel stuck now bc you don't know how to keep going in a like, realistic psychologically healthy way, bc this is really heavy shit, right?

and what I think about that is, welllll, you kinda don't have to?

like, this situation is pretty intensely fucked up, and that's the point, that's what's fun about it. so if you were trying to write about growth and self improvement and healing, indeed I'd agree you are in a pickle and this seems uh, challenging, to try to fix!

buuuut, isn't the sa and the self loathing and the everything else bc what you're interested in digging in is the bad dark toxic sludge?

I could be misreading you but going from what you've said, I'd think the horror of feeling like a monster and having to learn how to live with it is sort of the point of the story.

so you could lean into it as hard as you want. they could feel guilty and terrible, and there could be SA as hardcore as you want, and they could hurt other so so bad and keep eacalating the making each other worse, and all the terribleness would be the metaphorical slop for your pig to play in.

until you feel like taking them out of the torment nexus, and the quick way to the exit would essentially just need to be -> they feel guilty for what they've done to the other, which -> the other person is worth shit, which -> so are they.

basically I think you can do whatever the fuck you want actually, I think you can always tweak how you're doing it, but what you're doing will work out just fine I'm pretty sure. chase your bliss, you can always smooth the edges out as you go, I believe in you ✌🏼

as i thought this does very much help me!! you've absolutely gotten what it is that i want to do with this story (im obsessed with any and all stories of meeting yourself in any way shape or form).

I think i will in fact lean more into the heavy toxic sludge, gets worse before it gets better, all that. i will also stop trying t make it fun inconsequential porn bc it stopped being that 6000 words ago lmfao

[shallowbreaths]

I have been told that self awareness is recognizing what you do, understanding why you do it, grasping the effect it has upon the world around you, and knowing there’s nothing you can do to change it. I want to argue that. It upsets me. This is me! I control me… don’t I?

I have always wished to be loved and needed for who I am. I have always wished to find a person who feels broken and pour into every crack and love them until they are whole. I have wanted to create a story where someday they say things like, “never once did he raise his hand or even his voice to me, he never called me names or made me feel less than. He always made me stronger. He lifted me, he loved me, I do not think anyone has ever been loved more than I was loved by him.” It seemed like a worthwhile and beautiful dream, but it’s not.

In truth, people are not broken by others, and if they allow themselves to break, only they have the power to make themselves feel whole again. I recognize now that’s what I do. I understand that I do it because I recognize how infinitesimally small I am in the scheme of things. How many people walk, have walked, and will walk this earth? This tiny pebble floating in an infinite universe of possibility and probability that spans millennia the way I squander seconds. To say I feel like dust in the wind is an understatement. I feel like dust in the wind that’s happening at the top of the highest mountain in the most distant land. How can I ever have meaning?

So I suppose my mind has determined that I can’t, not in the scheme of things. I will someday pass from this world relatively unnoticed as did an ancient man in the Roman era that worked a field and sold his goods from a cart. Even if he was a good man, who lived a good life, no one knows his name, no one thinks of him. My mind determined I don’t want to be famous. I don’t need to be richer than God. What I need is to be involved in a private binary star system where I revolve around her and she around me. It’s what I truly want and what I’ve tried for, but failed.

A healthy person doesn’t want me to revolve around them however, nor do they wish to make me the center of their universe. So I find unhealthy people that can not get their fill. Ones who say I’m everything for a time and then discover they still feel empty, and I’m left realizing I wasn’t enough. It reinforces my beliefs. A self fulfilling prophecy. I find people who are amazing and beautiful and talented, but I’m simply not enough for them because they ARE amazing and they deserve someone else who is amazing as well, and I’m just a man.

I see it. I get it. But I still want it so desperately that my soul aches, and as time ticks on, second by second, and I realize with each that it grows less and less likely I’ll get to have this life I crave, my heart bleeds. I am aware, but what can I do with this foolish heart? What am I to do when I’m feeling lonely and sad and I hear a poem that speaks to me, or a song being sung by a beautiful voice, or given a gift that I’m told is “just for me”, and my heart surrenders a bit and I find myself loving someone when I should not? I must seem pitiful to some. Others would have me “choose” a different path, but how? Is self awareness simply me recognizing why the house is on fire and accepting the slow burn? Is it me breaking my own heart time and time again where no one can see, and feeling like a stranger in a strange land while talking with friends and family?

Sure, I can help protect the world from the tragedy that is me now, but how do I resolve these things? My last therapist told me, “you make total sense. Very few people will ever experience the life that you have experienced, so you would seem like an enigma to them, but you make sense.” Great doc, so I truly am alone? Is that the awareness that therapy has gifted me? Now what? I understand why they say ignorance is bliss. Perhaps it would be better to chase the impossible my entire life and even though I fall short at least I could believe in “…maybe someday.”

I remember this girl (who I never should have known, and I had no right loving) once told me that therapy will hurt and anger you before you start to heal, but is this healing? Knowing that I can never have the only thing I’ve ever wanted? A thing that it seemed like my parents found, but it’s denied to me? If they found it, how can it be impossible? Or were they simply the ones that handed me this mind that dreams dreams I can not have? Did they simply play a part for one another? Is my only hope that I can find someone who’s willing to lie to me for the rest of my life? Someone who will stand in the fire with me as the world burns around us, who holds my hands, and stares into my eyes, and will lie sweetly to me one last time when she says, “I love you”?

[yanderenightmare]

How would the yanderes react if their darling was the one to initiate intimacy/sex for the first time, and how do you think their darling would come to that point? (stockholm syndrome? being touch starved/deprived as punishment? etc.)

thirsty ! BNHA imagines

TIP-JAR

goodiebag WARNINGS: yandere, noncon/dubcon, abuse, profanity, anxiety, guilt, kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, manipulation, mind control

BAKUGO KATSUKI - KACHAN

-ADDICTION

She was riding for dear life, chasing that light at the end of the tunnel.

Eyes tightly squeezed shut as she hopped up and down, sliding upon Bakugo’s impressive girth, moaning each time his tip poked into her cervix as she clapped down onto his lap again and again and again and again, harder and harder, deeper and deeper, hitting knew spots upon new spots, messaging uncharted territory, rearranging her organs, poking and prodding and fitting so snuggly and perfectly inside her she could all but start crying from the bliss of it all.

She was crying. Hot tears streaming down her cheeks, numb with how warm she was, feverish and febrile and growing madder with pleasure, drunk and drowning in euphoria.

“Fuck.” He stuttered out his gruff moan, barely holding onto her hips anymore.

He'd been inspired and insured that it would be fine to let her move on her own now, knowing he’d made it clear enough she wouldn’t be going anywhere without him being satisfied first, thinking she was showing so much enthusiasm simply to make him come quicker.

He hadn't yet sensed how desperately she was chasing the same release he was, especially since he’d already made sure she came twice before they even started. Once on fingers, once on his tongue. He wasn’t at all thinking she was preparing herself for a third time, especially not on his cock.

Having left her to do all the work for a while now, having been rendered completely blissed-out and awestruck with feeling her eager movements on top of him, he couldn’t really care much for how pathetic a mess he must have looked beneath her.

His eyes scrunched together to hold onto every sharp movement of her hips, lips pursed out and puckered with his grit-teeth, his cock standing proudly, pushing into her again and again at such a fast pace he was barely able to feel his climax coming dangerously close, too numb with pleasure to part it from his release, but as his balls were emptying inside her he shot up into a sitting position in favor of lying down, needing to hold her still so he could pump his load without it spilling, arms reaching around her to keep her pushed down and impaled on him.

She tried humping for more friction even in the tight secured lock, rocking into him, kept snug against his chest, trying so desperately to reach with his cock what was screaming inside her.

He made some indication he was done. His thick arms losing their grip around her torso, head resting on her shoulder as he panted, not yet understanding what hell or heaven he was in for, taken by surprise, by overwhelming panicked surprise.

“No!” She roared out her little whine. Her smaller hands protruding nails digging into his chest to push him back down on the bed, then continuing to ride despite feeling him tense beneath her. 

He tried moving again, fearing, panicking because of his overstimulated cock being continuously pleased almost enough for it to be painful. The hunger already quenched being kept fed, drowning the thirst, so much he felt as though something might burst.

Her hands moved to yank his hair, pulling him back to rest on the pillow, her other hand pushing, seizing around his throat, violating his Adam’s apple, forcing him to gasp as he choked both on the action itself but also at the sheer controversy of it all.

Her mouth hovering above his own as he groaned from the pain of having his hairs ripped from his scalp and his vocal cords abused, whereas she only moaned in return, too concerned with feeling every inch of her being on fire to care.

“Oh fuck, please, Katsuki, please, more.”

Something tight tugged in his pelvis at the same time awe blossomed in his chest at the sight of her and those pretty eyes looking at him with tears and that sweet crinkle of plead between her brows.

His name dripping from her tongue like honey as she continued going up and down the length of his oversensitive cock, slipping even easier in now when coated in his cum. Her thighs sticking to his in juices as her head dipped to lay against his chest while she continued slapping, jumping on his cock with an unrelenting, unsatisfied determination.

His cock throbbed inside her, nearly crying, screaming with something playfully akin to aching, a pressure building again even as he thought it impossible.

She was stabbing herself with his cock, squeezing and seizing and fluttering around the blade, driving him mad.

But as soon as he got over the feeling of bursting, could he pull himself back.

Grabbing her waist and hoisting her off him, she nearly sobbed at the loss of contact.

He pouted in mimic, condescendingly. “Is the little slut begging for more?”

He grinned maniacally as he mounted her, surprised to see and feel her desperately trying to get closer as he pushed her down into the sheets beneath him, lining himself up with her sopping greedy cute little cunt.

He only teased for about a moment more before impaling her on his length once again, pushing all the way into her in a mere swift second, dragging a real pornstar-beautiful moan from her, gleeful to see her squeal with pleasure as he began thrusting into her sharply, angled to hit that sweet blissful spot inside her.

“Be a good girl and cum for me again.” He growled and she swore she felt it like thunder in her stomach, like explosions, like lightning striking. “That’s what you want isn’t it?” The frenzy in his voice, once only terrifying, now made her toes curl and her head feel like cotton. “You want me to make you cum? You want to cum on my cock like a good slut? My slut? Come on, cum for me.”

She was being fucked completely silly.

Tongue falling from her mouth along with a string of wet moans and drool and his name. Her eyes swimming with tears as she tried focusing on his and the gut-churning look of feral dominant lust in the heat of them that had her pussy clenching around him, yet was barely able to hold his gaze as she was being fucked into a cross-eyed mess, feeling the pressure build and build and build and getting so close to bursting she was crying with how she was being kept from her climax by some unknown cruelty.

She just needed him to go harder, go faster.

She just needed more, she just needed him, needed him and his glorious cock to help her.

MIDORIYA IZUKU - DEKU

-APOLOGY

“I hate you!”

It slipped before she was able to stop it, before she could reconsider, before she could save herself.

She watched with terror-wide eyes locked on his, awaiting whatever awful murderous intent he chose fit for her punishment, and was at once trembling.

Knees growing weak, apologies falling broken on her tongue as her fear’s need to cry outweighed her wish for recovery, resulting in simply blubbering on her sobs. Small frail hands reached out in protection, in a timid means of making him give her a second to gather herself as she fell apart with the painful fear that clenched around her heart, making it hard to breath, making it hard to see, hard to stand, hard to think, hard to do anything except for gasp for air, air that seemed to not want to enter her lungs quick enough.

“Hey, hey… breathe.”

She hadn’t even realised she’d collapsed, nor that Izuku had come to catch her fall, rocking her back and forth in his arms, head resting in his palm. Her eyes wide and frantic as she looked up at him for help, helpless in her crippling anxiety, anxiety he was the trigger of and seemingly the only source of comfort as well.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I take it back, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry, please, forgive me, forgive me!” She gulped on shuddering breaths, sobbing, hysterical in her scrambling, so completely panicked, so utterly destroyed by her fear of him, knowing how those hands of his could hold the world just as easy as her head and her heart, where despite knowing that through and through she still sought out the comfort in how his fingers stroked through her locks, petting her calm.

Her hands, retrieving more and more mobility, reached up to fold across his back.

“I don’t hate you, I’m sorry, I’m just stupid, forgive me, I’m just ungrateful and spoiled and stupid.”

Tears rolled down her face as she propped herself up in his lap, hands desperate as she intertwined them in his locks, fervently trying to make up for her mistake, trying to prove she was able to correct herself, that she didn’t need another lesson, another one of his mind-shattering bone-crushing lessons. 

The fact that he’d forced her into a perverted set of lingerie had fallen to waste, the fact that he’d been lecturing her about how she belonged to him, how she had no right to disobey him, how she was just a dumb little girl in a world too big for her to ever possibly understand, how she was good for nothing but being stress-relief for him. None of that mattered anymore.

What mattered was persuading him into taking enough pity on her to let her indiscretion slide.

She just needed to beg enough, she just needed to grovel and plead and cry enough.

“Sweetie…” He hummed, no anger present in his voice, but then again, there never was. Tone always laced or dripping with honey, giving no hint as to where his mindset was or what he was about to do.

And all it managed to do was make her cry harder, hold onto him tighter, fear climbing higher.

“It’s okay, Sweetie… I know you didn’t mean it.”

His words were all but reassuring, as she was waiting for the other side of the coin to show its face, waiting to hear his but’s and if’s and punishments and corrections, waiting for those hands of his to show her, to prove to her what she already knew yet let herself forget, that she was a small helpless stupid girl and he was nothing short of god.

“But…”

And there it was, her worst fear, her worst nightmare, all sounded in one word.

She couldn’t let him continue, and by god she couldn’t let him finish.

Wet soft bloated lips met, or rather pushed, forced themselves upon his stiff ones, suffocating all reprimanding comments, all and everything he was about to say.

She shuffled into a cradling position on his lap, body and chest glued tightly in his embrace, hands running, tangling, gripping desperately onto the emerald locks at the nape of his neck, lips whimpering upon his ones, as though begging them to kiss back.

That desperation tasted delicious on his tongue. How she sat on his lap like some wounded animal, begging for the kind and nurturing hand of their master to help soothe the pain away.

He wasn’t about to discourage that type of behavior, that form of apology.

She wasn’t ready to take his cock, but then again, she never was with how gifted he was and how cursed she were. His cock being so threateningly huge, just like the rest of him.

But given the rest of him was just as threatening, she could manage, she could survive taking but one of his limbs rather than having all his brutal strength take care of her.

So she buttoned up his pants, trembling fingers working hurriedly, spiked by fear of both what was to come and what would come were she to stop. Her mouth still laying sloppy tearful kisses onto his lips, as he didn’t seem to mind just how much she was sobbing to please him.

She was at once stroking him when he was out, her other hand rushing to save her own life as it messaged her clit, trying to warn her of what was to come, what needed to come.

Still he hadn’t said anything, still let her slave for him. Though that might be for the best in this case.

His large hands placed palms down on the floor, simply supporting him as he leaned on them.

When she broke off the kiss, he was about to correct her, yet she ducked quicker, wrapping her warm and wet lips around his cock and giving th head a swirl with her tongue before pushing down as far as she could, glucking on him so eagerly and desperately, rendering what reprimanding movement was to come of his hand to an encouraging petting of her head instead.

She only sucked for a brief moment, leaving the proudly bobbing spit-slicked pole cold once she parted with only strings of drool connecting them. She shuffling back up to align him with her entrance hurriedly.

Her lip quivered as she looked at him to search his stoic features, her body frozen, left to simply hover and sway above his impatient member, as she tried her best to quickly brace herself for the pain she was about to feel.

But then his patience wavered, and strong hands griped her hips and forced her down to take the cock, impaling her as he sheathed himself fully, earning a high-pitched screaming whimper from her.

She fell to his chest, hands tugging his shirt to steady herself as she winced at the feel of him tearing her apart.

“Silly me…” He chuckled, the sound cold and gut-wrenching. “Rewarding you when I should be punishing you.”

She breathed sporadically, hitched and hiccupping.

“I don’t deserve it, I don’t deserve it-”

Agreeing was the only course of action for her, the only thing she could afford.

“That’s right, you don’t deserve it.”

But the world is far from fair.

TODOROKI SHOTO

-DISTRACTION

He was coming.

He was coming and nothing could stop him, nothing could change his mind, nothing could help and nothing could save her, except maybe the next worst thing.

Bargaining pain with unwanted pleasure, the price being her pride, her dignity, her strength.

It would happen anyway after he was done making pretty artwork of her flesh, after he’d tampered with her limits long enough.

She had the chance to skip to the end. But the price remained her spirit, steep like her fear and heavy like her mind, heart and soul scaled together.

And yet, she made the gamble.

It was either she let him bite, chew and swallow her heart and spirit and soul on repeat or she bit back.

This was her biting back.

This was survival of the fittest.

This was her surviving.

She needed to take her aim now or never, before he did it first. So, she barreled the arrow, struck the bow, leveled her hawkeye and took the shot.

“I love you, Shoto.” She proclaimed.

Arrow flying, hands smooth in receiving his chest before he could tug her towards him. Meeting his hungry approach with a focused desperation of her own, dedicated as she pushed him back so that he was the one sitting and she was the one on top for once.

Hands gentle, without much pressure, drumming up the bruises and scars of his chiseled stomach, one side cold, the other hot.

“Will you let me show you how much I love you?” She questioned.

Time to see if the arrow had hit, lips pressed firmly to his forehead a short second later, before pressing one against his temple, careful to not hurt him where the skin was scarred and sensitive around his eye, then one against his jaw, and neck, and shoulder, and chest, trailing down further and further.

He stirred once she kissed on a particular cut, his hands coming to hold her back as he began sitting up.

Yet she was firm in her resolution, her own hands pushing his shoulders down.

“No, no...” She tutted, tone still soft. Not at all as though she was giving him a demand. Not at all like how he thought a command should sound, what he’d learned his mistakes would grant him from those people he trusted.

Not at all like his father’s voice of tyranny and terror.

“Let me take care of you.” She whispered it, and his heart clenched with memories of how his mother would patch him up after training.

The arrow well planted in his chest now.

“You just lie back...”

She kissed his cheek then, adamant she’d make him cry, make him become soft, help him, to save herself.

“Relax....”

She kissed his lips then and she swore she heard him whimper like a kicked pup, all fragile beneath her, broken and just a boy rather than the cruel man she knew him to be.

And then he was crying. Softly and quietly, but crying nonetheless. Thin streams of saltwater running down the corners of his pretty eyes.

He looked so vulnerable then. Vulnerable like glass, no… like ice melting.

And when the ice had finally melted she could either swim or drown in what ocean was left behind, all depended on how softly she handled him, where one wrong word would make him sharp like bladed icicles again, and the right words would keep him like this. Small, weak, needy, tame. You can only kiss storms when you’re right in the eye of them, where one misstep will send you flying, falling, to your despair, to your death.

She could make no mistakes.

She aligned her naked sex up with his. The steam in the room layered thick with dew on their naked bodies, alongside nervous sweat.

“You and I are the only ones that matter in this entire world, Shoto…”

She sat down, hungrily ripping a groan from his chest at her almost brutal pace, and she moaned as she dipped down to lay herself on his chest, feeling him sink and twitch inside her, fill her up so perfectly, like two things falling into sync, like yin and yang, like balance.

“It’s only you and me between heaven and hell.”

She whispered the words like a chant, like witchcraft, the breath of them tickling his skin as she kissed down his pelvis, still firmly planted on top of him, hand trailing after, running over him smoothly and precisely, careful in their venture, before dropping down from the loft of his hips to entangle her small breakable finger in his destructive hands

“And everything else is just falling snow…”

She rocked her hips, like a smooth wave rolling into shore, thighs cradling his torso snugly, keeping him safe and trapped beneath her as she continued lolling forward on repeat, tentatively feeling after the pressure his hands gave hers, how tightly he squeezed, if it were a form of encouragement or discomfort, their wrists laid on the warmth of her thighs.

“I love you, Snow-Angel.” He cried, voice jagged and so far away from anything she’d ever heard.

And though this was what she’d been aiming for, having it enrol before her was a frightening type of uncharted waters she hadn’t at all any knowledge of how to tackle.

And that fear, the fear of drowning, increased so spectacularly when he sat up.

His fingers slipping from hers, leaving her control and wrapping around her torso instead, tightly, so tightly she feared he’d break her spine.

And then the heat followed, the blistering heat.

And then the cold, the promise of frostbite.

But then… he was still crying...

Crying like a toddler into her shoulder, nuzzling in her neck and all those terrifying and painful promises seemed to mellow, leaving her unscathed yet panicked, as without the pain she had no way of knowing when or where to go, resulting to her simply sitting there, comforting her captor, speared on his cock of her own choosing, with his tears running down her back.

Her heart beating painfully rapid in her chest as she slowly and unsurely raising her freed fingers to wrap into his dual-coloured locks, petting his head and hoping, praying she wasn’t falling prey to any false sense of safety.

DABI - TODOROKI TOUYA

-HABIT

They were doing what they always did.

Simply lounging.

Slugged on the bed, in each-other’s arms. Sickly sweet fumes in the dank room. Air thick like a cloud, dark and grey and matt.

The walls having been erased or rather blurred out into nothing, leaving them there, floating in and about nothing, each-other’s warmth the only constant.

Where in the complete lack of scheduling it had become like schedule, like ritual to simply lay and do nothing, then do something that threw them back into exhaustion which in turn resulted in yet again doing nothing, except maybe sleep.

The day lacked much, and in its lacking there were certain expectations, certain instincts and impulses that had arisen inside her.

She knew something was coming, anticipation, she knew something was supposed to come, and yet they still laid there and did nothing, when they were supposed to be doing… well… something, so that they yet again could go back to doing nothing.

It was safe to say her head had become rather empty at this point.

“Are we forgetting something?” She felt the need to ask, felt the need to hear Dabi tell her, give orders in where she should go and what she should say, something not allowing her to feel the terror of why those necessasties had become second nature or why she found refuge in them.

He mumbled in return, tone dark and scratchy like gravel or coal, evoking something to twist in her lower abdomen and purr with pleasure. “And what would that be?”

Dabi’s hand still fingered a rolled blunt, perfect with his expertise and nimble lanky fingers. Hand dragged to his mouth to take the final blow, smoke puffed out into the small space of the bedroom, layered thickly in the air.

Her eyes puffy and watery and red yet remaining open out of habit. Her lips burned, or rather stung, prickled from the after affects, her mouth dry as though full of ash, and as she breathed she felt the scratchy raw feeling of her throat by how much she’d been coughing earlier.

Dabi was always certain she didn’t take proper drags, therefore resulting in taking the drag for her, locking his lips painfully tight around hers, blowing until her face turned red and he could be sure the smoke reached her lungs. He was never satisfied before her eyes glossed over, blank and stupid, blinking at him so softly, as all off her became softer and softer, both her gaze, her voice, her words, her actions, her thoughts, her resistance.

“I don’t know…” She honestly didn’t, all she felt was that something was missing, that she required something, or that something was required of her, the feeling that she was supposed to be doing something or have something done to her. 

Dabi turned his head to look at her, inspecting her features, the cute confusion warping her face into a feeble timid expression, brows softly scrunched together, eyes focusing on nothing yet something as she raked through her empty head, her foggy ditzy subdued head.

A look of near endearment present on his face as he watched on for a second for the sake of amusement.

He cupped her cheek, her eyes quickly skittering to meet his, as though on command, knowing by instinct that was what she was supposed to do.

“Are you waiting for something, doll?”

Her lips quivered, and he could already spot the brimming of bubbling tears that came flooding to the surface. Soon to be spluttering out hopeless mumbles if he didn’t save her from the fall first. He was almost tempted not to, if only to scoop up what was left afterwards, put the pieces back together in whatever order he so wished, but he was feeling benevolent tonight.

His smile was soft as it neared her, deceptively so, kind and well-wishing, as his lips met with hers.

It felt like salvation, it felt like peace, it felt like all was falling into place, the way they should be, and she felt safe, no… she felt saved. From what? She did not know, as she had not the mind to care. All she had the mind for was to kiss back.

She moved more on her own now, with the reminder of his tongue in her mouth, the taste making her feel like she was being welcomed home.

Leg sweeping over his to plant herself in his lap, in her rightful place, feeling the all too familiar poking of his hard cock kept bulged beneath the comfort or discomfort of his briefs and jeans, brushing into and past the thin fabric of her cotton laced panties, soon to be drenched, as on cue, as though she’d been taught that would be best.

Her eyes were wide, wide with falling, with being lost, with wanting him to catch her, to save her, wide with waiting, hanging onto his every movement, as though incapable of doing anything on her own, as though only capable of taking orders. Just as he’d shaped her.

His finger drummed alongside her thighs where she knelt on his cock. His other hand doing the same, meeting where his jeans were kept on, unbuttoning, then zipping down, all so slowly, all to watch her features turn even more lost, into something that looked so adorably like hope.

“Is this what you wanted?”

He pulled his stiff dick out of his boxers, having it spring and stand proudly in the air, curved and pierced with all sorts of fun.

She licked her lips mindlessly, eyeing the pole, wanting, no, needing, no… compelled to pull her underwear aside, revealing what dripping drooling well-trained mess had pooled from her.

Feeling so utterly fulfilled, it feeling so positively right, as though what she’d lost was now returned, was she’d been missing she’d found, and what more, what she’d been missing had been missing her as well, hungrily so, painfully so. It was all she could think of when she eased down onto the towering pole until she was filled up to the brim, only to push down some more to envelope him entirely, feel him stretch and curve inside her.

More after that, she didn’t know what she needed to do, but she was sure she’d know once she got there, she was sure Dabi would be a saint and tell.

SHIGARAKI TOMURA

-BOREDOM

She was losing her mind.

It was a horrendous type of silence. Silence that wasn’t really silence at all as it was cut and sliced and murdered and bled out into the tactless endless mocking clicking of Tomura’s consoler.

Sharp aggressive smacks where he thumbed the joysticks, quick slaps with his long veiny bony fingers slamming with unneeded force into fragile buttons. 

She felt the sting in her temple, eyes squeezed so impossibly tight to a close as her ears sung with irritation.

“I’m done.”

She only barely recognised her own voice. Though she knew she mouthed the words and she knew she added timber and tone to sound them, but that whine, that sickly sweet defeat that laced the syllables, as though she were crying, as though she were begging, that wasn’t her, but that was who she’d become.

“You win.”

And she wasn’t at all sure if she cared anymore about her defeat.

“No… I’m about to.” He mumbled, eyes glancing to her briefly, split-secondly, before they swiftly, with lightning speed, stuck back to watch the bright screen a foot in front of him, the clicking made by his ruthless fingers never once stopping.

She wondered how such force was even possible, given he had to lift one digit on each hand in order not to destroy what he held so preciously. How he had the grip, the agility, the mobility and speed and precision was something that spurred through her mind each time she watched him go on, winning more so than losing. She guessed it was practice. Sometimes it would amaze her, somedays she would watch mindlessly as he sped through all levels, all ranks, all challenges, all side quests, win after win, wondering if it even posed any challenge, any stimulation when he seemed to complete them all with such ease and finesse, effortlessly.

Sometimes it would amaze her, but this was not one of those times.

She swore her ears were bleeding, they were screaming and crying and strangling all wishes she had of sleep. The bed was too soft and everything was too soft, too quiet, yet not quiet at all and she was so fucking bored, so fucking drained of everything and anything except irritation and the need for something and anything, something loud, something sharp to wake her up, something terrifying or something anything everything that could make her feel something anything everything.

She needed it, and she needed it desperately, all things aside, fuck who she was, and especially fuck that shitty fucking game he was playing.

“Fuck! Your stupid! Game! Tomura!”

She hadn’t even realized she’d slid off the bed and was standing on her numb feet, game controller snatched from him in one second and smashed to smithereens on the wall in the next.

She looked more shook than him, if he was being honest.

Nonetheless.

“What the fuck?!”

He was mad, no, he was fuming.

And she lived for it.

“I swear, you’re gonna pay-”

He hadn’t even reached her before her lips split into a grin, eyes like lightning awaiting the thunder.

“Gladly, punish me, do something, do anything!”

She wasn’t proud with her playful hinting, but you aren’t supposed to live your life without doing things you regret. And though she was playing spoiled brat for a notorious villain, the most dangerous individual she’d ever met, he also had a cock crafted by monsters that seemed to hit every spot it needed to, finding and creating new ones as it filled her up to the brim and she was salivating just by the thought of being split open on it, especially by seeing what mood she’d conjured from him.

But, even though her pride dripped from between her thighs, she was not too eager to plainly say that she desired his dick balls-deep within her needy cunt.

“What?”

He’d stopped in his tracks, eyeing her. And though some part of him wanted to believe what disgusting depraved thoughts he had regarding why she was seeking his attention, he knew better, rendering her annoyance to simply picking a fight with her captor, quite like a how child throws tantrums at their parents or prisoners riot.

Turns out her playful words did little to sway his thoughts regarding the situation.

“You’ve been playing your dumb videogames all week!” She whined, almost screeching. Eyes angry and lips pouty.

He wanted nothing more but to show her what bad behaviour would give her, but seeing how punishment would be giving her what she had requested, he wasn’t too quick to fold to his desires.

“It feels like I’m dying, make me feel something, anything…”

She was pleading he realized, and stopped in wonder at the revelation.

She was pleading with him, begging for him, for anything of him, anything meaning anything…

Yet… surely not what he wanted it to mean.

“No.” He forced on a nonchalant tone. “You smashed my controller, I’m not rewarding you for that, there are nicer ways of asking…” He drawled and turned casually to get back in his chair, pondering his need to purchase another custom-made console, thinking he had a couple things he wanted to fix anyway.

Was she really going to have to be so literal? Was she really going to have to bend over and beg for him to take her? Was she really going to have to serve him her heart, her spirit, her mind, and soul and body on a silver platter for him to take it?

She thought he was greedy. She thought he was depraved enough to hear what she was asking of him.

No way he was ignoring the invitation, right?

If that were the case, he could at least mock her for her begging, but he barely seemed to even recognise her change in attitude at all. Granted, she couldn’t really see much of his expression beneath that mop of hair.

She wanted to scream, pull her hair out of her head, yet as her knees hit the floor and Tomura sat back down in his chair, she realized she had but one thing to do.

Crawl.

She was silent, shuffling under the table, taking one gluttonous drag through her nose, mouth watering at the reek of male musk, his musk, Tomura’s musk, a smell so undeniably him.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to let him know she was there yet, but decided to be a tease and better prepare him for what she was about to do.

Experienced and confident fingers pressed a woman’s touch to his ankles, running skilled tender touches over the flexing of his calves’ muscles, despite feeling him tense beneath her. Undiscouraged as they went smoothly over his thighs to reach the hem of his boxers, reaching inside them to pull out what she was proud to feel thick and stiff and just as needy as her, warm and pulsating in her tiny palm.

Handling him delicately. First she licked her lips wet and gave the head a pretty popping kiss, before producing her tongue like a pillow for the cap and flicking the pink muscle from side to side under the sensitive skin that was already oozing with precum onto her tastebuds.

She her his breath stifle, but allowed him no rest as she closed her warm wet mouth around him.

He broke instantly.

Now knowing it wasn’t his mind playing tricks.

“Fuck! You win, you win!” He hissed, hand wrapping around her throat to pull her up from her conquering. “If I’d known what a needy little slut you were I'd have given you cock earlier. You should’ve just said so...”

They both giggled ludically as he threw her down on the bed, Thrill already bubbling up a storm on her insides with such lust to be fucked out of her bloody mind she was quaking from head to toe and screaming out her moan when he pushed perfectly into her wetness in one fell swoop.

TAKAMI KEIGO - HAWKS

-NECESSITY

He heard the padding of her approach. Soft footed and gentle. Not at all like how she would usually stomp around in rage of being trapped.

He didn’t look up at first, thinking she didn’t want anything to do with him, as per usual, yet in his blurry unfocused vision he could spot she’d stopped in front of him, waiting for his acknowledgement, where he sat on the coach, undisturbed and undisturbing until now, scrolling through his phone.

He decided to ignore her, testing to see if she’d speak up and announce her demands, yet was surprised to see she stood there patiently, no words, no screams.

Curiosity getting the better of him he looked up, finding her standing there bare-footed, skin wet, towel wrapped around her, hair dripping, eyes leaking, though not from shower-water, but from brimming with tears.

His instincts kicked in then at the sight of her.

“Are you okay?”

He sprung from the coach, expecting her to push him away once he reached for her, yet was surprised to feel her attach to him, latch around him, welcome his warmth and his offered condolence instead of her usual rejection and snarling.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, why are you crying?”

He realized then that her body was quaking, seemingly febrile, so much plead knotted between her brows he’d never seen anything like it.

It made him concerned to say the least, eyes searching her body for any possible explanation in the form of bruises, thinking maybe she’d hurt herself, already scolding himself for having left her alone.

“Baby? What's going-”

He didn’t smell it at first, what with the scent being washed off and all at the hands of her shower, but the aroma was soon layered thick in the room, growing alongside her desperation.

A scent so heavenly, so lavish and sweet and ambrosial, already making water pool in his mouth.

Her shaking made sense then, so did the tears, and the desperation and the potent adorable look of despair written all over her pitiful little cute face.

“Oh… I see.”

He was going to take advantage of this.

He was going to ring it for every drop it was worth.

“Does my little angel need me?” His voice shed its concern swiftly, curling into something sweetly sadistic and salacious.

His fingers hung onto her chin, or rather, her chin hung off his fingers.

“If you ask nicely perhaps I’ll-”

“You’re being cruel.” She stated, voice so sweet, so vulnerable, breaking as she sniffled, bottom lip trembling so preciously, as he wasn’t sure the shower-water was instead not indeed sweat. Knees weak, arms heavy, head pounding, stomach hurting, eating her from the inside in desperate need to feed the bottomless hunger that was growing and weeping in her lower abdomen.

Her hand held loosely over her stomach, visibly shaking.

He ignored her statement. “That was a long shower…” It was an insinuating observation, cocky in its nature. “Were you trying to help yourself on the showerhead?”

He quirked a brow at him, a smirk playing in the corner of his mouth.

“Trying to get out of grovelling for me, hm? Despite knowing how my cock is the only thing that can save you.”

He was gleeful, sadistic bliss tickling through his body, sending pleasure through every nerve, because he knew, he knew he was right and he knew what was coming. He knew she would fold, surrender, succumb, and he knew how grateful she’d be afterwards, dripping with his cum, eyes opium-blown, euphoric and fluttering, and looking at him with such wholehearted, such won-over love.

Though, know all that filled her eyes were glistening tears and swirling suffering.

“It hurts…”

His heart clenched at that.

She looked like a toddler, small and weak and helpless and innocent, as though if it weren’t for her predicament she wouldn’t be abusing every ounce of energy in her being to make him miserable.

How ironic, she being the miserable one now, all dependent on him.

“It hurts, please, please help me, help me, Keigo.”

She was aching. Her small needy hands coming to grab at him, to pull him closer as she sobbed, whining so beautifully for him.

“I need you, Keigo.”

He was getting wrapped up in it, hanging onto every perfect needy jerking she did to try and get closer, to try and help herself against him, licking it up as though he was parched

And he was, he truly was, she’d drained him dry, rejecting each and every proclamation of his love. She’d laughed at it, waged war against it, and here she was, finally, embracing it, begging for it.

He realized, he needed this just as much as she did.

He didn’t need anything weightless like a stupid apology, he just needed to hear her say those pretty words.

“I need Hawks.”

Her eyes grew dark, pupils blown wide with lust as her words were laced with such feral carnality.

His hands grabbed ahold of her ample hips, grinding her into himself, where she met his attack by effortlessly maneuvering her legs to wrap around his torso, hands cupping his face as she peered into his eyes, wanting to drown herself in the gold.

“I need you deep inside me, filling me up, wreaking me…”

Her lips hovered above his own as she clutched tightly onto him, begging with every inch of her body, clinging to him as though it were for her very life.

“I need your cum, I need you to fuck me until I can’t walk or talk or think or feel, until I’m numb and all I can see is you, all I can think is you, all I am is you and yours.”

He was left awestruck by the way she looked at him, as though he were the world, or her god, with so much love and so much desperate desire and fear.

A fear he’d come to know all too much chasing her. A fear of rejection, a fear of having her heart broken, a feeling that’s all too much like dying.

“I need your love, please, please love me, Keigo.”

He couldn’t refuse, despite wanting to have used this opportunity as a lesson, he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave her suffering and he most definitely couldn’t leave himself suffering now that his cock was hungry for the attention she was all too eager to give him.

SHINSO HITOSHI

-SUBMITANCE

She knew she should be disgusted, she knew she should be angry, she should be fighting it.

If she were the feral creature quite alike the lioness or tigress or any other wild cat, she should by law be scratching and clawing and snarling. She should revolt, reject, uproar at the feel of a collar around her throat.

But here she was, big wide glossy opium-soaked eyes staring up at her Master and his compelling lilac orbs, feeling her stomach curl at the feel of his big fist tugging her leash as he hovers above her, purring like a little kitten, like the little kitten she was, at the feel of his swollen thick cock filling her up so snuggly, breeding her good, while she drools at the collar put, not just on her throat, but on her mind, panting over the thought of having his commands lick every nerve of her body, making her twist and bend and bow all to his wishes.

Fluffy tail wrapped around his leg, holding onto him in the softest form of embrace as her hands are otherwise occupied with being tied to the bed-post.

She whimpered, aching fingers wanting to touch, to run smooth soft fingertips over his skin, his scars, tangle in his wild lavish purple locks.

She bit her lip and clenched around the member inside her, making him groan as he bottomed-out and pulled back again.

“Could- could Master… untie me?” She needed to ask, voice timid and hopeful, again feeling him slowly inch into her core, messaging her insides, her walls kissing alongside his girth, sucking on him gratefully.

He quirked an eyebrow, as if to ask why, or to tell her why he couldn’t do that.

“I want to touch you…” She pleaded, a confession so sweet and voice anything but brazen or wanton, blinking shamefully, guilty of her lust, even though in the light of what he’d done to her and made her do to him, it sounded like mere child’s play, something she shouldn’t even be allowed to be embarrassed about.

His eyes scanned her, curious, doubting her, yet having felt how her legs wrapped around his torso, and the ever-playful cuddling tail that had slithered between his thighs and latched itself around his ankle, tugging on him like such a clingy little devoted kitty.

His lips curled up into a smile, looking down at his little bashful housebroken pet, thrilled to see her look up at him too, eyes full of awe on both sides, lustful, loving.

He pushed himself fully into her, cockhead kissing her cervix, and she gave a mew, moaning while he bowed down to meet her lips with his.

His hands danced up her arms, drumming alongside her limbs before they met with the knots around her wrists, tugging them loose.

Once she was free she hesitated. Eyes still so wide, as though asking for permission, as though asking for guidance, or… as though she were waiting for him to tell her what to do, and then, as though a question was burning at her lips.

“Master… ask me a question?” She requested, slowly bringing her hands down from their position, placing them around the back of his neck, fingers playing with his soft wild hair.

He needed to take a second or two to really fathom what she’d just said, where his mind seemed to leap once he did.

“Something you don’t want the answer to.”

He swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling a rush of blood pool in his cheeks. His breathe grew heavy and eyes intense.

“Do you know what you’re asking?”

He needed to be sure, he needed to hear her say it, admit to it

His doubts were answered as she blinked, biting her lips, looking away shyly, clearly knowing how wrong it was of her to request him entering and playing with her mind like that.

“Yes…”

He couldn’t help but smile at her timidity, how she blushed under his gaze. But still, he needed her to give him the entirety of her desire.

“Tell me…”

He rested his forehead on her hers, happy with butterflies in his stomach at the feel of her affectionate hands running through his locks.

“What do you want from me, Kitten?”

Her breath shuddered, legs climbing higher up his back, pulling him closer. Their eyes so adamant on looking, drowning in the other. His storm of lilac so dominant and dangerous, making her mouth water and toes curl and head flutter with knowing how she was completely trapped, completely where he wanted her, loving it all the same, finding refuge in the fact, finding safety and belonging and peace.

“I want…”

Her eyes where only wide, wide with hope and searching for if he’d catch her when she now jumped, leaped into his arms.

“I want you. I want your- your teeth in my mind, marking me, making me yours, making me… feel…”

All of her was clinging to him now, her tail so neatly and snuggly slithered around his ankle, as though chaining him to her, her hands as well entangled with the unruly hair at the nape of his neck, her legs wrapped around him so tightly and desperately, pussy clenching around his cock like a vice, and her eyes hanging off of all and everything of what was giving her.

“Making you feel what?” He pushed, giving another thrust where he barely pulled out only to rock into her again.

“Safe.”

That was such an innocent word, such a sweet wish it made his heart hurt with something he couldn’t quite place, whether it was guilt or satisfaction he couldn’t tell.

“Will you do that? For me?”

He could get lost in those eyes of hers forever, those moon-big round eyes, opium-black and blown pupils so wide he thought he was falling through space with how much they reflected the limited light inside their room.

“Do you love me?” He asked then, fearing the answer.

“Yes.”

A word can be so many things, a vow, a promise, an echo, a welcome.

Her eyes went blank then, but not before she gave the softest hum as though to say thank you as she felt his presence seep into her mind. Her limbs losing all types of stress, becoming numb and soft. All her worries blanketed, where all she dreamt of was velvet lilac-tinted oceans, getting drunk on grapes and the smell of lavender and all things purple like those great godlike eyes staring down at her, the ones keeping her spellbound and tethered in a deadlock, the ones she belonged to.

CHISAKI KAI - OVERHAUL

-COMFORT

The slamming shut of the apartment door, followed by the digital clicking of the lock being closed is how she knew he was home.

He hadn’t said anything.

Where usually he would at least greet her as she quickly sprung across the marble floors to welcome him home, take his jacket, kiss his cheek, all so perfectly like he’d taught her.

He hadn’t said anything.

No ‘I missed you’ or ‘thank you, princess’.

He hadn’t said anything at all.

But most things with Kai weren’t verbal anyway.

She’d learned to pick up cues, analyze a raised brow, or a slight shift in posture, or the almost imperceptible narrowing of his eyes.

He hadn’t said anything, but the scowl that accompanied his aura spoke volumes to the girl. Finding his state of mind, concerned with what she found, as it was not his usual nonchalance nor his occasional contempt, but bitter.

He groaned then, once she’d helped him out of his jacket, green and tacky, purple faux fluff, something so out-of-place on Kai, yet also serving as one of his key recognizable traits.

He kicked off his shoes, also something so very out of character it brought her concern, followed by him shuffling, feet dragging on the floors in complete opposition to how he would usually walk, with his head held high, regarding the floor as though it should be grateful to be gifted by him walking on it.

Now though, he slumped, still without a word, up the stairs, sauntering without haste, without enthusiasm, all in goal of reaching the bed, which he laid out flat on once he got to it.

“Are you okay?” She asked timidly, having followed him and standing unsurely on the threshold of the door, not knowing whether she was welcome or not.

He simply pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing, giving her the answer she’d guessed already.

“Can I do anything to help?” Again, she kept her voice soft and tender, hopeful; cheerful in hopes of cheering him up.

“I doubt it.” His answer was curt and bitter as he sat up on the bed, tugging loose his tie with an exhausted growl of irritation.

She padded around the bed then, not exactly having been given an invitation to stay, but not exactly having been given any indication to leave either.

Careful as she climbed up behind him, like a cat easing in on its prey, gracious and soft and focused on not alarming or disturbing the goal.

“Surely there must be something I can do?”

His ears picked up on the play in her voice, the thin hairs at the back of his neck rising, yet his curiosity was stifled as her hands, once so small and insignificant, became the hands of God.

Fingers kneading into his back, thorough and forceful yet welcomed by him through a breathy guttural groan, closing his eyes with much needed rest as he let himself fall completely to the feeling of her messaging all his tense stress right out of his shoulders, seemingly sucking all the bad out of him.

He gave yet another throaty groan as her fingers rubbed and dug into his back, her hand stopping his head from slugging forward, cupping him tenderly and guided him to rest against the softness of her chest instead.

“Do you feel better now?”

She spoke like how a mother should, sweet like summer breeze, just above a whisper, eager to please, affectionate, without ill-will, without anything to gain, selfless and beautiful, and something he was in desperate need of.

He moaned, a long dragged out breathy moan, one filled with such potent gratitude it made her smile.

“Getting there...”

She hummed, her hands like absolution handling his back like dough, thumbs rubbing the stiffness into tender soft flesh once again, working through the knots, before climbing, mounting his shoulders and ensnaring his neck, gentle fingers running smoothly to unbutton his shirt, her face nuzzling in his neck as it was exposed to her, soft plump lips kissing the sensitive skin found there, knowing exactly where to focus, hearing him moan in relief as she zeroed in on his soft-spot.

Her hands running, dancing down his chest, unbuttoning the last of his buttons, helping him slide out of it.

Quick to take her bra off, still while kissing his neck, before pushing her warm soft mounds into his back, hugging herself against him.

“How about now?” Her voice like honey as her words tickled on his neck.

“Almost…”

She slithered around to seat herself in his lap, hands cupping his cheeks as she leaned in to kiss him, naked chest rubbing up against naked chest, warm and soft, homey and safe. 

Her hand drummed playfully down his stomach, reaching his pants, moving skillfully on its own to undo the belt-buckle, then the button, then pulling down the zipper.

He shuffled them down his thighs on his own, still keeping his chin lifted to receive her kisses. His clothed erection bumping up into the thin protection of her panties.

Her hand, still so smoothly, reached under the band of his boxers to pull him out. Though his rough way of ripping her lacy underwear off managed to break through her calm demeanor as she yelped a bit and flinched.

However the surprise was quickly followed by giggles as she continued to kiss him, feeling his smirk against her lips and soon his hand cupping her ass before running hungry pressured fingertips around her thigh to play with her slit, thumb roughly pushing into her clit as other reckless digits ran though her folds to test the waters, quite parallel to how carefully she handled his cock with her own elegant hand, rubbing him up and down ever so gently, with the tenderness he carved.

He hissed once her thumb rubbed over his sensitive head, biting into her lip, and though his beastly impulses used to alarm her, now she could only think of them as an invitation.

Holding his cock up to her entrance, giving him time to remove his fingers from her now soaking folds. 

She sunk down on him slowly, moaning softly against his lips as he groaned upon hers. 

“Better now?” She asked, without giving way to the cockiness her question carried, but he deciphered it with ease nonetheless, giving her ass a playful squeeze before guiding her to lay down on her back, nibbling on her neck as he chuckled at how she disguised her devilish naughty humour as being innocent, wanting to make her choke on that haughtiness as he gave a quick sharp thrust up into her.

Her moan rung throughout the massive penthouse where no doors were kept closed, as he licked the sin right off her expression with one needy hungry kiss and a promise as well as a threat.

“I will be once I hear you scream my name, princess.”

TIP-JAR

[taechaos]

Web of Lies

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying.

warnings: angst, panic attack, dry humping, the TINIEST bit of fluff

word count: 4.3k

Obstacles are inevitable in relationships; there’s always something that must go wrong. They can come in the form of arguments, disagreements, actions, or people like Taehyung. One physical obstacle that always knows when Jungkook is with you.

A few days after the fight between the two close friends, Taehyung’s nose somewhat healed and Jungkook doesn’t shy away from you as frequently. What’s the point when the people he tried to hide you from found out about his relationship with you anyway? The only reason he doesn’t approach you every time he sees you is because: 1. He doesn’t enjoy being clingy; that would mean he likes being around you all the time which he refuses to admit. 2. You would probably get tired of him and stop loving him. 3. He kissed your friend who always sits next to you outside.

Now that he’s taking most of his opportunities to talk to you, and maybe kiss you, Taehyung is growing restless. Every time Jungkook is with you, so is Taehyung. Some. Fucking. How.

To name one of the busts: when Jungkook was kissing you in the university’s hallway two days ago, Taehyung popped in out of nowhere and shouted, “Get a room, you sluts!” It made for a good laugh between the students, especially when Jungkook ran after him out of the building. 

Another time is when Jungkook was watching you work in the yard and Taehyung joined you two to ask about that “one hot friend of yours”. You ended up telling him about Soyeon and Minnie while Jungkook glared at Taehyung that conveyed a clear message: Don’t. So, he didn’t. It didn’t have anything to do with getting elbowed when you weren’t looking.

It was because that would ruin the fun, and he has a sense of purpose while roaming the entire campus to make his fourth bust of the week. He’s searched the hot and empty spots, but he just can’t find the passionate couple anywhere. If he can’t keep disrupting their displays of affection, how will Jungkook get annoyed enough to spill the truth to you? You deserve that much, and if you still accept him, then Taehyung’s out of the picture.

Why can’t Jungkook see that?

For starters, one of the reasons is Jungkook is distracted and growing very irritated by the heavy stare he feels digging into his skin. Who the fuck is watching him? He thought it would be nice to keep you company in the main campus library by controlling your hand under the table over his clothed erection while you skim through your textbook for a light revision, but a pair of eyes behind a bookshelf won’t stop glaring into his soul through thick frames that he can’t see. 

He blows out a breath and screws his eyes shut. His jaw clenches and you immediately catch on, worriedly asking, “What’s wrong?”

“Someone’s fucking watching me and I can’t get off,” he grits. Your cheeks heat and grow crimson when you glance down at your occupied hand, palmed by his bigger one in a tight grip. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, “we can go to my dorm, if you’d like? Whatever you want.” In an act of comfort, you stupidly start caressing his length until he stands up. 

“Gotta confront the fucker.” 

Right when he raises his foot to take a step in the direction that his senses lead him to, Taehyung joins in on the mission. “Who are we confronting?” he asks casually with an arm over Soyeon’s shoulder, who is trying to suppress a grimace at the intervention. Jungkook glances at him and then your friend before sucking his teeth and rolling his eyes.

You grin brightly at the greeting and explain, “Someone's watching him. He’s going to find the stalker.”

“Might’ve been me, oops,” Taehyung raises his brows guiltily before slumping on a wooden chair adjacent to you, looking around the spacious area that makes him feel too loud. When he notices Soyeon still standing, he tells her, “come, sit,” and pats the seat next to him. She does so timidly. “Isn’t it so wonderful—”

“Why are you here?” Jungkook interrupts, but Taehyung continues, “—that we’re forming a friend group of our own? We’re all so familiar with each other.”

“Oh, Soyeon hasn’t met Jungkook yet.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you with a scrunch of his nose. “Sure about that?” Jungkook strides behind his chair and starts massaging his shoulders; a very harsh massage that has him holding back a wince. “Oh, Kook, that’s a bit rough. Tell me, is he like this in bed too?”

You gape at him in surprise, bashful because your lover doesn’t kiss and tell, and he doesn’t look too happy about it either.

“Tae…” Jungkook snarls.

“Well, is he, Soyeon?”

The library’s silence graces your table as everyone falls quiet, if you don’t count Taehyung’s groans at Jungkook’s bruising hold that is. Soyeon’s jaw drops and her eyes widen at the sudden switch in your gaze, searching for answers from her. “That’s not funny, Taehyung,” she breaks the silence with her blunt statement.

“Don’t mind him, baby, he has brain damage,” Jungkook spits and brings a hand up to Taehyung’s hair to yank it back. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” he whispers in his ear.

Your features begin to soften from its hard expression until Taehyung smiles wickedly at you. “Oh yeah, it wasn’t sex, was it? It was a tongue battle-” His voice cuts off the moment Jungkook starts choking him with his elbow, and his gags fall on deaf ears. Soyeon tries to push him off, but you’re just blank because Jungkook isn’t denying it; it was as if he was expecting it, trying to stop him all along. 

The sudden interest in your friend, the constant interruptions, the hits…

“Soyeon?” you call quietly with welling up tears. “Did you kiss him?”

Your best friend doesn’t lie, and apparently neither does Taehyung. Does Jungkook lie? You’re conflicted between living in bliss, ignoring the dying man in front of you because your boyfriend might have kissed Soyeon, and facing reality by asking the hard questions.

Her hands are still tugging on his shirt to save Taehyung, but her persistence weakens when she looks at you: guilty and… exposed? “I didn’t know it was him,” she confesses. It is indirect, and doesn’t reveal much except that she kissed the one man she wasn’t supposed to. 

“When?”

“The party,” Taehyung wheezes as he struggles against Jungkook’s arm, his nails drawing blood on his skin. His face is red from the lack of oxygen but he isn’t worried about dying.

“Oh, he put you up to this, didn’t he?” Jungkook speaks through clenched teeth to Soyeon. “They’re setting me up, and who the fuck is watching me?!” 

You stand up slowly and close your textbook with a soft thud, packing your materials so graciously. Your hands are shaking, but the tears blurring your vision don’t matter to you. Soyeon is honest, Taehyung is using his last breaths to tell you the truth, and Jungkook is lying. You sling your bag over your shoulder and trudge to the exit, counting your steps to calm down. You ignore Jungkook asking you where you’re going, Taehyung gasping for breath, and Soyeon telling him to leave you alone. It’s all muffled and you’re too sad to care.

It’s a case of he said she said, but your heart is siding with your friends with how painfully it pounds against your chest. Your trust in Jungkook couldn’t have been that fragile, could it? Why did it break with one sentence? 

Heavy footfalls follow you beyond the exit, but you’re too distracted by trying to move your legs steadily to notice. It isn’t important enough to distract you from someone calling your name though, or the light weight of a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hm?” you say without looking up, frozen in your steps.

“A-Are you okay?” A smooth voice asks.

“I’m a bit sad,” your voice cracks and wavers from holding back a meltdown, “hurt.” You want to recognize the blurred image of the man standing next to you, so you blink and a tear sheds from each eye. “I told you to never talk to me again, Jimin.” You feel overwhelmed, and yet the memory of the blackmail has little impact on your mess of emotions, but it doesn't help you feel better either.

“Sorry,” he breathes, “I still don’t understand why, but you can do the talking for me. Wh-what happened?”

“Why do you ask? So you can use that against me too?” you scoff through the lump in your throat. Confusion washes his soft features, so you add, “maybe another handjob for it?” You shrug off his hand and continue your walk of shame. 

“I-I’ve never used anything against you, what are you talking about?” He’s chasing after you and it’s a bit of help in swaying your thoughts in a different direction, and your emotions towards anger and disbelief instead.

“Does a video ring a bell? The one you threatened to leak if I didn’t touch your…” You groan to yourself and quicken your pace towards your dorm. Maybe you could mope comfortably in there without the annoying presence of an arch enemy, who is feeding you more lies than you’re capable of consuming in one day. 

“What? I never— Listen, I deleted that video the second I received it. Whoever told you that was lying, please!”

It seems that everything you know boils down to Jungkook lying. His love was a lie too, apparently. Maybe the Jungkook you know is just one big fat lie who can’t seem to tell you the truth in any moment you’ve been with him. How many times do you need to hear from others and yourself that Jungkook is lying?

“I know,” you whimper and run off.

Once Taehyung catches his breath after coughing for a minute straight with a fresh bruise blossoming on his neck, he interrupts the hushed argument between Jungkook and Soyeon by asking, “Where’d she go?”

“I don’t know, but you’re going straight to hell once I fucking kill you for good,” Jungkook fumes with flushed cheeks. 

“If you die by murder, you go straight to Heaven. How do you not know this?” His voice is low from the assault and his throat aches, but he still attempts to lighten the mood. 

“I swear to fucking God, Taehyung—” Jungkook stops his threat when he sees Soyeon sneakily walking away. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Air,” Soyeon vaguely answers.

“Bullshit.” Jungkook tries to go after her, wanting to be the first to find your dorm so she doesn't say more about that night, but Taehyung holds onto his wrist to stop him. 

“She needs time—”

“Fuck off.”

When Jungkook begins to walk off after yanking off his hand, Taehyung immediately searches around the room and takes out a pen from a cup on the reception desk before jumping Jungkook from behind just as he was about to leave. They struggle against each other and start rolling around, but Taehyung is driven by adrenaline as he grounds himself on top of him. He holds him down with his legs and uncaps the pen to start writing on his forehead.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Everyone in the library peeks at the commotion due to Jungkook’s loud yell, but neither of them pay mind as he tries to move away from the pen.

“See if she takes you seriously with dick written on your forehead,” Taehyung chuckles before sprinting off with him hot on his tail. Jungkook is stronger, but Taehyung is much faster as he loses him pretty quickly by hiding in an occupied lecture hall. The professor looks at him questioningly but he thinks fast and breathlessly asks the students, “Is Jeon Jungkook here? The headmaster is looking for him.” Some people search for him, but when no one makes a peep, he escapes the room and Jungkook’s wrath.

Now to go to your dorm before Jungkook scrubs off the ink…

“I didn’t know his name,” Soyeon murmurs while fidgeting with her fingers. When she came in the room, you were muffling your sobs with your pillow and all she saw was your jerking shoulders. She tried to comfort you, to hug you, but you weren’t exactly being friendly, and the setting is pretty much the same except she’s sitting on your bed while you still cry. “I asked people what he looked like, but it was just a description of every guy in the room. He wasn’t around for them to point at, and so I thought maybe he didn’t come. Then this guy kisses me on this couch, feels guilty about it, and tells me his name. I-I didn’t know it was Jungkook. He left for you anyway…”

Her attempt at consolation is fruitless because it only makes you cry harder. She rubs your back soothingly before standing up. “I’ll check up on you later. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” You nod against your stained pillow. 

The moment she opens the door, Taehyung’s fist misses her head by an inch. “Oops,” he says before gently pushing her aside by her shoulder and entering. His eyes fall on your fetal position first thing and he pouts at you. “Aw, baby—”

“She doesn’t want to talk right now.”

“I’m good company,” he dismisses her with a flick of his wrist, “you can go.”

She rolls her eyes before shutting the door, and it’s only you and him now. Your hiccups fill the room as he sadly watches you, a quiet sigh leaving his mouth. “I tried to tell you. Well, I tried to get him to tell you.”

“Y-You said,” you snivel against the sheet, “th-that he was whipped for me.”

I said that to get you to open up. Even in his head it sounds cruel, so he rethinks his response with a grimace. “Jungkook told me he liked you.” Maybe shifting the blame wasn’t exactly much better, especially since he told him that after the claim, but you have enough on your plate.

“H-He told me he loved me,” you hiccup, releasing your death grip on the poor pillow. It’s a mask rather than a silencer now. Taehyung widens his eyes to himself and purses his lips. He takes Soyeon’s former seat and turns you on your back. His heart sinks a little when he sees your face: red nose, heavy lids, bloodshot eyes and quivering lips with messy hair. You look really pretty to him right now. “He lies so much. H-He even made me give Jimin a handjob.”

“Made you?” he repeats with his thumb drawing circular patterns on your collarbone. 

You nod. “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to talk about it. It was horrible.”

His brows furrow at your tone. “That’s so fucked up... Man, you need to avoid him.”

“Jimin?”

“Jungkook. That’s too twisted, even for him. You’re an angel…” his palm reaches for your cheek and his thumb continues its soothing motions. “You didn’t deserve it.”

“Thank you,” you mouth and fresh tears brim as you try to swallow. It feels like you’re sick all over again, except there’s no misunderstanding to clear this time. He wipes a stray teardrop and smiles down at you; it’s a relaxing gesture. You close your eyes and hold onto his wrist, snuggling into his warm hand.

“I sound really cheesy, don’t I?” he chuckles. “Can’t lie, wish I had someone call me an angel after I caught my ex cheating on me.”

An involuntary giggle erupts from your mouth at his joke. “You’re an angel, Taehyung. An angel in disguise.” You peek at him before fluttering your eyes shut again. A pursed smile graces his lips, and he’s convinced he isn’t interested in you romantically, that it was just an invisible force drawing him closer to you, that he wasn’t the one aiming for your lips until a pound on the door resounds in the room.

You flinch away from his hand and he pulls back instantly; both of your heads shoot to the source of the noise. 

“Open up!” Jungkook yells and continues fisting the door. “Open the fucking door!” Taehyung holds a finger against his lips, signalling you to stay silent until he leaves. “I want to talk. Open the door… please.” Neither of you say anything.

“Fine,” he agrees, “don’t talk. I’ll talk, but at least give me a sign that you’re here.” Before Taehyung can stop you, you rush to the door and knock once. You hear him slide down the door, presumably leaning his back against it and sitting on the floor. “Okay. I’m sor— They were lying—” you slam your fist against the door in denial. “Okay! But they weren’t telling the whole truth back there. I was um… on drugs. I was really fucking high, okay?”

“Yet your high-self still managed to yell at me! Clearly you weren’t high out of your mind,” you snap menacingly. He flinches at your sudden shut-down; he’s never heard you yell at him before, nor has he ever been the victim of your anger. It makes his heart drop.

“That was like, three hours after I got high! I was practically sober, plus, you weren’t talking to me that day!”

“I had lost my voice! I didn’t want you to get sick—"

“I DIDN’T FUCKING KNOW THAT!” 

He gulps at your silence and inhales a deep breath to calm down. He hears you sniffle on the other side. “I-I didn’t know that. You wouldn’t kiss me, wouldn’t talk to me, and I didn’t know why. I thought you stopped loving me and… that really upset me.” He sighs to himself because he’s never opened up so honestly and it’s difficult, but he doesn’t exactly have a choice. It just feels so embarrassing.

Taehyung opens the window of your dorm and climbs out. You don’t see or hear it happen, too invested in your argument to even remember his existence. “Do you remember what I told you the night we did it for the first time?”

His face scrunches as he tries to replay the events beside the sex. The corner of his lip tugs upwards when he recalls you calling him a slut, but he’s still clueless as to why you’re bringing it up. You don’t leave him in the dark for long. “I told you I wouldn’t forgive you a second time.” He gnaws on his lip as his palms feel clammy with nervous sweat. 

“W-We weren’t dating then,” he tries to justify. “I didn’t need forgiveness then. You’re so unfair!” He stands up and knocks with his fist again. “Let’s talk it out face to face, I’ll explain everything. You’re putting me at a disadvantage! Don’t you want clarity? Don’t you want this to work out?!” He starts chanting your name when you don’t answer. “I will break down this fucking door if you don’t open it,” he doesn’t sound nearly as intimidating as he usually does when threatening; he sounds more like he’s a second away from breaking down himself. “No, no… please. I-I’ll kiss another girl if you break up with me! You don’t want that, right? So just open the door.” 

His tough façade crumbles the longer you ignore him, and he can’t believe the heavy weight he feels all over his body wants to leave in the form of tears. It stings in his eyes but he doesn’t dare let them fall. “You’re so fucking cruel!” He twists the door handle violently; desperately. A dry sob escapes him as he kicks the door one last time. “Oh God, oh God…” he tries to breathe but it doesn’t enter his lungs. It’s like being choked with a noose as he gasps and a tear runs down his cheek. His wheezes become so loud that you start hearing them and grow concerned.

You consider the possibility that it’s one of his tactics, trying to manipulate you, but you open the door anyway. It’s a slight crack and you barely get a look at him before he pushes it open completely and forces his way in. He sits on your bed and his shoulders hunch, breaths still shallow. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t like her, never did, I only— I was mad, and I couldn’t go through with it, and I’ve never shown you affection b-because I’ve only ever received it from you—” you hush his rambling with a hug, but he continues with his head against your stomach anyway, “I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m a fucking mess and I understand why you wouldn’t want to be with me, but please don’t leave me. I’ll do my homework, I’ll stop being mean, I won’t even talk if you don’t want me to, but please don’t stop talking to me.”

“Jungkook…” you trail in shock. “I’m here. Take a deep breath.” When he tries, it’s so shaky that it makes you tear up for the umpteenth time. You’re a mess with him. “In and out, love, in and out.” You would do it with him like an instructor, but it’s not possible when he’s squeezing your waist so tightly. It takes a few minutes for him to relax his grip and he looks up at you pitifully. “It’s okay,” you assure and pet his hair, “you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most,” he exhales. “I mean… I realized that night, that I only want to be with…”

“I get it,” you whisper to comfort him, knowing he has struggles with expressing himself, but he doesn’t stop. He wants to get it off his chest, and he quietly tells you, “I kissed another girl when I wanted to make you jealous, and then another to forget. I don’t want to do that, I mean I only want to kiss… you.”

You initiate it first by leaning down to peck his lips, and you don’t pull away too far. You peck him again, and then start kissing him. He’s never been this slow with you before, but the panic attack must have drained him. It’s the way that he doesn’t immediately turn it heated with the intent of taking it to the third base that warms your heart. He’s hesitant and taking his time, mindful of your reactions because you’re in control for once. You’re aware of how vulnerable he is being with you, and he conveys that with the gentle press of his lips. 

He whimpers into the kiss, and it’s so quiet and mournful that you lean back but he chases after you. He doesn’t want to stop like you’d assumed, so you place your knees on either side of him and hover over his thighs. Even his hands are hesitant as he lightly sits you down on his lap by pulling your waist. You smile against him and with his submission, you swipe your tongue across his lip. He opens for you. You roll your tongue around his, and he eventually begins to suck on yours. There’s a pit in your stomach that confuses you; is it arousal? Flattery? You feel so special because you know he hasn’t been like this with anyone else; so powerless and passive.

It’s passionate. You inch your body a little closer to him and he grunts when you brush against his crotch before settling down. This isn’t about sexual needs, and you don’t treat it as such but your body has a mind of its own with its constant shuffling that turns him on. He doesn’t want to feel that way, but his hips have a subtle way of thrusting beneath you. His hums rumble and you kiss him harder, losing all your senses except for the warmth of his skin. You don’t notice him controlling the movement of your hips because he’s taking it slow, and you don’t need to know why he’s quietly moaning into you.

At least no one’s watching him now. 

You pull back in surprise when he groans loudly, and you know he’s back to himself as his actions grow rough. You’re practically jumping when he grinds on you with his spit all over your mouth because of his explorative tongue. From past experience, you’ve figured out that Jungkook is more honest when he’s in the heat of the moment, so you inquire against his lips, “Why did you lie to me about Jimin?”

“That fucking freak,” he growls, “I needed a reason to get you to hate him. He didn’t stop you when it happened, did he?” 

Still manipulative. “Will you do the same with Taehyung?”

“No, I,” his thrusts slow down, “I’m gonna, err…” He looks at you for help.

“You’re gonna be a good boy and talk things out with him, right?”

“Right,” he breathes, “talk.” He slams his lips against yours again, and it’s not long before he sighs at his climax with your cooperation. There’s a small patch growing on his pants through his underwear, and he cusses when he notices it. He pecks you one last time before hugging you and laying on the bed, cuddling you like a blanket. “Do you forgive me?” 

You rest your head on his chest and feel his pulse to contemplate. He brings a hand up to your hair and starts running his fingers through it, unbothered by your lack of answer. “I’ll make it up to you,” he says. “Do you…” he clears his throat, “do you maybe want to have dinner with me?”

“Like a date?” you tease with a grin.

“Yes.”

“There’s my answer,” you lift your head to wink up at him. “But if you test me again, I’ll break your heart just as you did mine. Don’t worry though,” you whisper, “I’ll never leave you.”

[little-spoiled-brat]

MAXY MAX‼️ MAXENNNEEEE‼️

Can you do 4 levi x reader for the 100 followers event😩🤲🏼

Levi asks his pregnant wife to sit on his face.

She's wary about because if he hadn't noticed already, she's carrying an extra few pounds.

But he's not worried about it, he just wants to suck on her clit while her stomach is in his hands😌✋ extra points if he feels the baby kick🙂

WRITING PROMPT # 30:

"taking my cock so well"

pairing: levi x reader - nsfw, minors dni

cw: facesitting, oral f receiving, mentions of breeding and unprotected sex

author’s note: when you woke up from a 5 hour nap and feeling energized to write smut😂

- baby kicks -

for the last seven months, you’ve gotten a tad heavier by a few pounds because of the ever growing baby inside of you — you didn’t mind though, waking up everyday to the feeling of your strong and healthy baby kicking your stomach. he has gotten quite active at that recently.

“oh!” you chimed, putting your hand on your stomach as the baby kicked repeatedly. levi’s head snapped towards you from his desk and lifted an eyebrow.

“he’s awake” you said to your husband, feeling the baby kick again, “and active too”

the second levi hears that the baby was kicking, he stood up from his chair and went over to you on your shared bed. he laid down next to you, putting his hand on your stomach.

“here” you said, putting his hand over to the area the baby kept kicking. you waited a bit until he kicked again.

“holy shit. oi, smaller brat, don’t kick your mother too hard like that” levi said, kissing your stomach after feeling how hard the baby kicks at you everyday. you smiled, watching him kiss your stomach and whisper sweet nothings to the child inside.

“we made that” levi breathed, never taking his hand off of your stomach to feel him kick again — he was as obsessed as you at feeling him kick.

“yeah, we did” you said softly, running your hand through his hair as he crawled up a bit and attached his lips with yours.

the kiss slowly turned heated when levi swiped his tongue at your bottom lip, reclaiming the territory that was already his. you moaned lightly, feeling his tongue explore every inch of your mouth.

levi’s hand slowly made it’s way to your thighs, lightly rubbing the inside of it before reaching your clothed clit. you gasped at the contact, feeling sensitive there as the both of you hadn’t had sex in a good few months.

“levi” you breathed, your eyes closing shut as he continued to rub your clothed clit. you moaned, gripping the sheets beside you.

“fuck, you’re already so wet” levi said, slipping a hand inside the shorts you were wearing and began circling his fingers on the sensitive bud.

“levi” you moaned, back slightly arching off the bed. levi lightly growled, unable to hold himself back anymore. he laid down beside you, patting at his chest as you took a few seconds to understand.

“levi, you know i’m carrying a few extra pounds” you said, not wanting to sit on him when you’re a bit heavier than before.

“i can take it, y/n” levi simply said as you searched for any sign of uncertainty in his eyes but found none. within seconds, clothes were discarded on the floor and you were straddling levi as he sucked on your clit.

“ah- fuck, levi” you moaned, throwing your head back and your eyes snapped shut from the pleasure you haven’t felt in a while.

levi wrapped his arms around your thighs, resting his hands on your stomach as he sucked and flicked at your sensitive bud.

“shit, i missed this” levi groaned, abusing your clit harder as the pleasure felt overwhelming and the knot in your lower stomach was becoming too much to handle.

“levi, i-i’m going to cum” you whimpered, holding onto his arms for support as the knot slowly started to unravel itself.

“cum on my mouth, brat. make a mess” levi commanded and you were sent flying over the edge. choked moans escaped your parted lips as you came on his mouth, legs shaking from the intense pleasure. levi smiled, feeling the baby kick underneath his hands while you were sent into blissful ecstasy.

”good girl, y/n” levi praised, rubbing your stomach and thighs as you came back down to earth. you got off of him and laid back down on the bed next to him.

”he was kicking when you came” levi mentioned, aligning himself with your entrance. “he was- oh fuck!”

you were abruptly interrupted by levi’s cock entering your tight pussy, stretching you oh so deliciously. you held onto his arms, whimpering at the pleasure he was causing.

“look at you, taking my cock so well” levi cooed, bottoming out on you as he leaned down and kissed your forehead. it left you breathless, the feeling of him inside of you was just pure satisfaction.

”fuck- please do something, i can’t take it anymore” you whimpered, slightly rolling your hips against his to get any kind of relief. levi chuckled at you neediness, kissing your forehead once more before slowly thrusting into you.

“you’re so tight” levi groaned, thrusting a bit faster. moans from the both of you filled the room, the sound of skin slapping against skin was sending you to the edge.

”you feel so good, brat. it‘s making me want to fuck another baby in you” levi groaned in your ear, shifting a bit to hit your g-spot with every thrust. you moaned at his words as it turned you on even more.

levi noticed the way his words affected you, a smug smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

“do you want that? do you want me to fill you up to the brim and fuck another baby inside of you?” levi teased, cupping your cheek tenderly as you looked up at him with misty eyes.

“please” you breathed, looking at him with pleading eyes — longing to feel his cum inside of you, filling you up until it spills out of your tight hole.

“fuck, y/n. you’re making me go insane” levi moaned, thrusting into you harder to chase your highs. the knot in your stomach started forming again.

“levi- shit, you’re going to make me cum” you moaned, back arching off the bed as he slid his arm underneath you.

“are you going to cum for me? cum for me, y/n. make a mess on my cock” levi said and it sent you over the edge again. eyes shut, lips parted as sinful moans of curse words and his name left your throat.

“fuck, fuck, y/n!” levi moaned, emptying himself inside of you. spurts of his cum painting your velvet walls a pretty white. your legs were shaking when he pulled out, the sticky substance dripping from your hole.

you pulled levi down to kiss him, panting softly to catch your breaths. your foreheads resting on each other’s as you came down from your highs.

you were both suddenly interrupted by the baby kicking as you turned towards you stomach, levi’s body was gently pressed up against you and your stomach and you were sure that he felt that kick too.

“someone’s complaining” levi said, jokingly rolling his eyes and crawling down to reach your swollen tummy.

“i’m sorry, smaller brat. was mommy and daddy too loud?” levi whispered against your stomach as you sighed contentedly, running your hand through his hair.

“you can go back to sleep, mommy and i are gonna shut up now” levi said and you couldn’t help but chuckle as he kissed your stomach lovingly.

levi grabbed a warm wash cloth from the bathroom, cleaning the both of you up before helping you get dressed.

you laid in bed afterwards, levi’s arm around you and his hand was resting on your stomach protectively. you snuggled up next to him, slightly burying your face in the crook of your neck.

it was peaceful for a few minutes, the kicking in your stomach stopped — indicating that the baby must’ve fell asleep again. you were also falling into a state of unconsciousness when you were slightly woken up to yet another kick.

“shh, shh, smaller brat. your mommy is asleep, don’t kick too much or you might wake her and she needs her rest. i’m here, daddy’s here“ you heard levi whisper to your stomach as the kicking stopped, the baby somewhat listening to what his father told him.

a tired smile pulled at the corner of your lips as you were lulled to sleep by levi’s voice whispering sweet words and promises into the small life inside of you that you both created.

[everythingthemoontouches]

☀️Valentines day Message from the Goddess of Love 🎀

I'm so happy to be making this reading ❤️☀️ hope you guys like it. Happy February 💕🥰

Piles from left to right 🌺🌄🤩

Temperance

Find your calm. A lot seems to be going on. You may receive a lot of attention. Or feel like you have multiple crushes. Which one of them actually sings to your heart?

You deserve someone who appreciates all the facets of you. If asked to choose between love or money, find the centre that's best for you.

Dip your toes in the waters of love 🌊 love like the ocean. If someone who can't swim ventures in well that's on them. An experienced surfer will seek you out. You're not too much. Just promise me you won't chase people who aren't there yet.

Know yourself, hold your head up but create space for someone to enter your love life. Show people you love that you need them. That you really like having them around. Make Caring cool again❤️

Do you get anxious when people you love can not make time for you? Have you considered initiating a conversation about that with your friends or partners? Similarly if you're someone with an avoidant attachment style perhaps this month will show you that it is safe to allow yourself to fall in love and open up your heart to someone. Can't run from my reeling cuz they jog with me 🏃

Not everyone you meet will abandon you. If you can't change the guy, change the guy. Find your serene spot. Be like the lotus. It's a very pious flower in these parts because it's a gorgeous pretty thing that can even grow in trash water. Even though it's rooted in mud and filth, the flower blossoms over the surface. Breaking even. Rising higher than anticipated. You are the damn lotus. You're gonna grow above the shit you have been through. I understand that at some point you may have had to build a fence around your heart.and that's completely fine. Just make sure you leave the gate open for friendly faces who wish you well. We worry - what if all my nightmares came try, but

mon cherie what if that happened to your wildest, happiest, most longed for daydreams too?

Balance is key 💖 spirituality could help you fund your calmness. Inner bliss and goddess mode. Please take up some kind of guided meditation or Chakra balancing. Some sufi music could help. (tunes). Other things that stand out : Goddess energy. Wearing flowers in your hair. Archery. Shooting your shot. Conschells. Sea waves. Harps. Harmonium. Indian traditional music. Narad muni from Indian myths. Devotional songs. You know those romantic songs that talk about bowing to someone because you see Divinity in them? Bodhisattva avalokiteswara. Lotus. Foxnuts. QUAN Yin🌺 Anuradha energy ( Scorpio first half) saturn and Mars.

That's the kinda love you're destined for. And you're also meant to experience that level of self love you n your own being.

Pile 2

I've still got a lot of fight left in me

Starting over. Making your way out of a bad situation ship or tricky relationship. Ngl there may have been some manipulation, abuse or icky things in a previous relationship. Or, the person you were with could have gone through soemthing terrible and you were forced to leave. I think February is you coming to terms with the escape. You're rave. You survived. You got out. And you may even share your stories with younger more impressionable people. Little girls (or guys) who look up to you as a guiding light. Queen of Jhansi energy. A fighter. Mother. Protector. Women with agency. It's almost as if moving on from the shadow of a partner helps you grow into this Regal Queen like energy. Someone active, energetic and exuberant. Lots of red and oranges. Orange for valour. Sindoor. Lifetime commitment? But let me get my bag first. A chief. Some kind of connection with the earth. Moving homes. Or trying to put physical distance. It's hazy. I feel like this February is about you, finding and creating a better you. Doing all the things you've wanted to try out. Having the freedom to focus on work and personal development and not worrying about how your partner would feel. Allowing yourself to shine without fear if triggering your man's insecurities. Under the patriarchy Men are taught that they're less if their woman outshines them so under that set up if a woman were a 100 the man would have to be a 150. You my love could grow into a 1000. You're gonna need a man who is not triggers d if you could go up to a 50000.there is no limit. And sometimes your success can be a better love interest than a person. I feel strongly that Aphrodite wants you to grow to max Potential. And then meet men int hat plane. Someone who meets the challenge of being with a woman of your value. I'm not saying they have to be your value multiplied by 10.just someone who is not threatened by your achievements.

Pile 3

The 9 of pentacles. The 6 of wands and the King of Swords. The cards just flew down 3 at a time. An urgent message for you and yet, the interpretation took me a while. The first two cards seem happy enough. The first is a lady basking in her garden. Someone in love with herself and all that she creates. Resplendent in her femininity. The bird / messenger sticks out. Perhaps there's a certain beauty / music in spending time watering your own garden.

Likewise, in the 6 of wands, a victorious young one comes home on a horse. You see how we have a standout animal here as well. The bird is a scout and rhe horse a traveller. You and your counterpart could both be independent free spirits capable of success on your own. And since you are the very best, only the best will do.

The king of Swords sings to me if independence and discernment. This is the most icy, saturnian expression of this King I've felt. He is a man who knows that words can cut and the people we associate with have something to reflect on us as well. We are judged by the company we keep. He sits comfortably in the reminder that a healthy friendship and some discernment are essential for any healthy relationship to flourish. You need a partner who gives you space. You either have a very mature feminine and masculine energy or just have both of these receptive and active energetic states within you in the ideal amount. Both of you, aee

[brywrites]

Gifted

Spencer Reid x Reader. Summary: All his life Spencer Reid has been told he’s gifted. And all his life he’s wondered what the point was of those gifts that felt like curses. Until her.

--------

Though he holds so many memories in his mind, Spencer Reid isn’t quite sure who the first person to call him “gifted” was. It was probably his mother, he thinks. Certainly not his father, who thought he was strange. Perhaps a teacher, or maybe even his Aunt Ethel. All he’s certain of is that he’s lost track of the number of times people have praised the so-called gifts he possesses. His eidetic memory, his autodidactism, his absurdly high IQ. His mind, they say, is a gift. But it’s felt more like a curse for most of his life.

Those same things that helped him skip grades and earn the praise of adults brought him years of bullying taunts and miserable adolescent trauma. They isolated him from his peers. His companions were library books and stories and mathematic proofs – nothing with a beating heart. They plagued his nightmares, for his mother had been brilliant too and what had that done for her? And those gifts came with a tremendous burden of pressure, they demanded use in a powerful way. Reid was always terrified he’d fail to live up to that impossible potential, proving himself unworthy of such great and terrible gifts.

By the time he’s thirty-six, he wonders why he was ever given such gifts in the first place. Clearly he’s squandered them, spent them on chasing monsters he thought might be human. They turned out to be hydras – for each one they catch, two more take its place. He’s let his mind waste away on drugs, on grief. In shacks and in prison and in grudges he just can’t let go of. He’s saved lives, he knows, but his team do that same thing without the gifts he’s been cursed with. What’s the point of him? Of any of the talents or tricks he possesses?

And it’s that question on his mind as he walks into a Virginia library to interview a witness to the latest in a string of serial arsons. Her name tag says Y/N. She’s clearly nervous, a little shaken, but she manages a smile when a child runs up to interrupt and ask her how to find The Magic Tree House books. And when she turns back to look at Reid, that smile still lingers – her eyes so bright it catches him off guard. She takes him back to the area of the library that was burned to talk about the crime scene, and she off-handedly asks if he has a favorite.

And when he says, “Oh I could never choose just one favorite. I love books too much for that,” that smile returns, unexpectedly bright.

“A man after my own heart,” she says. “Tell me a few then.” 

So he rattles off a handful, hoping at least one of them will keep that light in her eyes. They do. “Bradbury is one of my favorites, too. I just love Dandelion Wine. Sorry, I probably should focus on the fire. I try to distract myself when I feel stressed, and well, remembering what happened that night doesn’t exactly help with my anxiety.”

“It’s okay,” he tells her. “I tend to ramble when I’m nervous. Or excited. Really, I think I just talk a lot.” Another smile, one that crinkles the corners of her eyes. Over the course of the investigation, the BAU has to ask her to come to the station twice. By chance, Reid finds himself interviewing her both times, and both times he finds himself rambling a little more than he means to – because he finds himself inexplicably a little nervous and a little excited in her presence. It’s that smile, the one that lingers long in his mind after she leaves each time.

There’s something about her, about the light she seems to carry, that draws him in. That compels him to say yes when he shows up at the library to inform her they’ve caught the unsub and she asks, “Could I buy you a cup of coffee to show my appreciation? If that’s not too much, of course.”

“I think that would be perfect,” he says. And as they sit at the café across the street with lattes in oversized mugs, he’s never been so grateful for his vast knowledge of literature. Each title is a start into a new conversation with her, and they swap stories about stories – the ones they have lived and the ones they have loved. When she disappointedly announces her break is over, she adds, “But maybe we could do this again sometime?”

“Yes,” he says. “Please.”

“How should I get in touch with you if you’re not showing up at the library to interrogate me, Dr. Reid?” she teases.

He hastily withdraws his cell phone from his pocket and offers it to her. She begins to type in her number. “You, um, you can call me Spencer,” he tells her.

She grins at him and something in his chest shifts at the sight. “I’ll definitely call you soon, Spencer.” He’s never liked the sound of his own name more. And he thanks that eidetic memory of his for allowing him to replay it again and again in his mind until he can see her next.

.

They get coffee again the first chance he gets. And then again. When she asks how he has time to read so much and he tells her about how his mind works – about his memory and speed-reading and quantified intelligence, all the things that have been called gifts – she thinks for a moment before saying, “That must be lonely.”

The relief he feels at her understanding is immense. “It is sometimes,” he admits. “But it’s felt less so lately.” They go to a park together. Then out to dinner. By the time he realizes he’s falling, he’s forgotten what it feels like to be on solid ground. Fortunately, he isn’t the only one at the mercy of gravity. She feels it too. And when she laughs at his joke as he walks her home from dinner, he just can’t help himself. He leans in and cups her cheek to pull her to him, pressing his lips to her still-smiling lips. The taste of wine still on her tongue. And though he doesn’t drink anymore, the sensation of her is enough to make him feel utterly intoxicated.

Slowly, his life fills up with her. His sabbatical arrives with the perfect timing to allow him evenings and weekends with her. He picks her up after work. She meets him for breakfast. He takes her to the planetarium. She falls asleep on his couch. He tells her it won’t always be this way and she assures him that’s okay. But it gives him the chance to build the foundation their relationship needs. It’s in that time that he begins to catalogue her smiles in his memory. The dazzling ones she sends his way when she spots him at a coffee shop. The soft, shaky ones she wears after a long kiss. The coy ones that twist the corner of her mouth when she’s teasing him. The nervous one that slowly grows when she meets his team for the first time – not as a witness, but as his girlfriend. A title she declares like a badge of honor. He holds each smile in his mind, picture perfect thanks to that eidetic memory. When a case has been particularly tough or he’s away for longer than he’d like, he flips through them in his mind, trying to remember the cause of each one, trying to hold on to that light until he can hold her in his arms again.

.

He surprises her with flowers on her birthday. “You remembered?” she gasps, her eyes wide. “And these – these are my favorite. How did you know?”

“I could never forget,” he laughs, but she stares down at the bouquet and clutches them to her chest.

“I don’t make a big deal about my birthday, so people don’t usually remember,” she says quietly. “And nobody’s ever gotten me flowers before. Thank you, Spencer.” A pause, and then, “I love you.”

He grins from ear to ear. Forget the sound of his name, those three words are the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. “I love you, too.” It’s a first for both of them. And one week later comes another first – witnessing her panic attacks for the first time. She’s shaking too hard to tell him what she needs, so he tries to do what would help him. He sits down next to her on his living room rug and wraps her in his arms. He rests his head on her shoulder and murmurs the words to her favorite poem. She seems to breathe a little easier and so he recites another one she loves, and another until her breathing finally steadies and she unclenches her fists to wrap her arms around his neck, burying her face in his sweater.

Suddenly it doesn’t feel like such a curse to remember everything he reads when it means he can give her the words she loves when she needs them most.

The first time they sleep together is only the second time he’s been intimate with someone and he feels more awkward than he wishes he was. But he commits himself to studying, to remembering what she likes and what she doesn’t, and the next time he proves to be the quickest of learners when he succeeds at making her come within a matter of minutes. He discovers a new smile of hers, one of dreamy bliss and kiss-swollen lips. He loves it. He loves her, adores every single part of her she’s shared with him and every piece yet to be found. And to his continued surprise and delight, she loves him just as much.

He tries every day to be worthy of that love. He makes time for her. He goes to meet her friends and he shakes their hands even though he hates touching people, even though she insists, “You don’t have to. They won’t mind.” He does it because she’s the only person in the world whose touch he actually craves.

When she swoons over a dress Penelope has shown her on Instagram, he makes a note of it. She’s utterly enamored by it by her smile falls upon checking the price tag. It’s far out of her budget. So the next week when he’s out on a case in Atlantic City, he swings by one of the few casinos that doesn’t have his picture framed on the wall of their security office. He wins more than the cost of the dress in an hour and leaves before anyone can get suspicious. The dress arrives at his apartment the same day he gets home, and he invites her over to surprise her with it. When she opens the box, her eyes go wide.

“Spencer, this is… this can’t be. It’s… do you know how expensive this is?” Y/N asks.

Bashfully, he replies, “Now might be a good time to mention I’m banned from casinos in almost every state for my card counting abilities.” It’s well worth the little effort he expended to see the way her face lights up at the sight of it. And though he’s never been a gambling man, when he sees her wearing it for the first time he considers trying his luck a little more often.

At times he worries he’s doing too much, but how could it ever be when the way she loves him has been so much more than enough? For the first time in his life, he feels like maybe he’s enough. When she says, “I love you,” he believes it. When she says, “I’ll be back,” he trusts her. He’s given another person more of his heart than he ever has before, and for once he’s not afraid of it breaking. She doesn’t mind the strange hours he works or heaviness he sometimes carries with him. When he wakes up from a nightmare, she holds him close and keeps him grounded. He sends postcards from each city he visits and she makes his favorite food when he comes home and home is suddenly a place they share. She moves into his apartment and it feels like it was never complete without her there.

.

Not long after, there is a case in Boston. Their terrifyingly intelligent unsub taunts Reid as he leaves the interrogation room. “Judge me all you want, Dr. Reid. But I’ve used my mind to change the world. You’ve done nothing with yours.” The words haunt him on the flight home. He sits on the back of the plane lost in thought. What has he done? Sure he’s saved lives, but could he have done more? Could someone else have used those gifts he’s been burdened with in a way that was better? Why does he have any of these talents? Why has he acquired any of these skills?

His phone chimes. A text from her. Brought home a new book from the library I think you’ll love! Can’t wait to see you, dearest. And it hits him.

It’s her. All along it’s been her.

The answer echoes in his head as he races home to her. Everything in his life has led him to her, has let him be the person she needs. He can memorize all her favorite songs and poems to recite for her when her anxiety gets the best of her. He can remember every date that matters to her and everything she adores. He can read her favorite books overnight to talk about them with her in the morning. He can profile from her body language and her microexpressions when she’s having a bad day and needs him to be there for her, even when she’s too afraid to ask for what she needs. When she asks absurd questions out of the blue, he can give her actual answers with the useless encyclopedia of knowledge he’s obtained over the years. When she needs a distraction his rambling finally proves useful. It’s all for her.

She’s the reason his mind doesn’t feel like a curse anymore. How could he ever think of it with disdain when it’s the reason he can picture every smile she’s ever let him see? When he can catalogue every wonderful word from her lips, every inch of her skin, every action that drives her wild.

Reid can’t seem to open the door to their apartment fast enough. When he finally steps inside, she’s sitting on the couch. She turns away from the book in her lap to smile at him. “Welcome back,” she says. Then, tilting her head, “Is everything okay?”

An unshakeable grin spreads across his face and he knows he must look like a madman right now as he crosses the living to sit beside her. “Everything’s perfect. I just… I had this epiphany. All the things I hate about myself, you love. And all the things I can do let me love you better. It just feels like everything – everything has led me to you. Even the bad things, I mean, being in prison forced me to take sabbaticals and if I hadn’t we wouldn’t have had that time together early on and maybe we wouldn’t have worked and I don’t believe in fate,” he says, taking a breath. “But I can’t help but feel like for the first time, I’m right where I’m supposed to be. With you. Like that’s where I was meant to be all along. And I… I just thought you should know.”

His long-winded rambling is rewarded with one of his favorite smiles from her – one that makes her eyes soft and puts sunsets to shame. The kind she wears when she is incandescently happy. Her fingers lace through his and they are a perfect fit in his big hands. “There is nowhere else I’d rather be,” she says, leaning in to kiss him.

All his life, Spencer Reid has been told he is gifted. But this time, he thinks it might actually be true. He holds the greatest gift the universe has ever granted him in his arms and knows that no part of him is a curse if he is loved by her.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Scandal Ch. 1 - Loki x Reader

Summary: After your child is born a Frost Giant, your husband accuses you of infidelitiy, unaware about his own heritage...

Warnings: Pregnancy, Childbirth, Angst, Mild Cussing

Noteable: Takes place before Thor 1, Asgardian Fem! Reader

Words: ~1800

I Story Masterlist I General Masterlist I

It was as if your anchestors wanted to deliver a warning, for Asgard had never faced a storm matching this fateful afternoon.

The thunder swallowed all of your screams and cries, every curse you spoke with each contraction as the baby made it’s way into this world. All this time, your precious husband would never leave your side, letting you squeeze his hand as much as you needed.

“Only a little bit more, my Lady!” the midwife shoutet from between your legs, her tone calm yet cheerful. “I can already see the head!”

“I’m right here. You’re doing wonderful, my petal.” Loki was softly petting your hair, pressing a wet kiss into your forehead. “You are incredibly strong, Y/N. And I love you so much!”

Remaining collected was using up all of his energy at that very moment, you knew that much. Yet not even the God of Lies could hide all the helplessness and excitement stirring in his head at that very moment.

Being with the Prince of Asgard was just like in a dream.

Once you get to know him, that troublesome arrogant lone wolf turned into a smart, caring - and especially charming - prince. And hel, Loki treated you like a Queen.

All this pain you were experiencing right now would ultimately lead to the greatest bliss imagineable - just like it was with Loki.

Oh, how dearly you had fought, suffered, yearned for him, only to be rewarded with heartbreak and frustration. In between his feverishly chase for the throne and his rivalry with Thor, there was just no room for a loving relationship to grow.

The crushing weight of thinking himself unworthy for affection had made him cold and bitter over the millenias, telling himself the comforting lie that he was above all, born for a glorious purpose.

For the God of Mischief, whose kinsmen had always made him feel out of place or under-appreciated, the process of trusting had always been one step forward, three steps back.

But through your compassion, and with a great deal of patience and understanding, you slowly but steadily melted the ice around the prince’s heart.

Because deep inside, you always knew that it was worth it.

And today would be the peak of your romance: Your child would forever remind the Odinson that he belonged somewhere - right here, with you.

“It’s a boy!”

“A heir?!” Loki exclaimed, smothering your face in kisses. “Well done!”

You smiled weakly at his excitement, in between choked sobs. All that your exhausted self was able to process was the fact that your child is born - and you already loved him beyond reason.

“Where is he?!” you whimpered, unable to realize how the air in the room had shifted - for when the midwife touched the infant, she began to scream in agony.

“What’s wrong?!” Loki’s eyes were narrowing at the midwife that almost dropped his newborn, detecting some sort of burn wound on her palm. Quickly, she had covered the boy in a towel, aware that if any harm came over that baby, she was to die at the God of Mischief’s hands.

A flash of lightning was brightening the whole room, which had only been flooded by dim candle light until now.

Another one of the midwife’s screeched in terror, almost stumbling as she frantically erscaped your bedchamber. The adrenaline from birth and worry about your child sharpened your senses, yet concentration was almost impossible.

Still, the words she was yelling as she ran down the hall send a shiver down your spine:

“It’s a monster.”

Your head was spinning as you rushed into an upright position, with two nurses pressing you onto the bed again. “Milady, you need to rest! It’s still too early!”

“What is wrong with my child?!?” you desperately screamed, kicking with your legs to free yourself from their hold. “Give it to me!”

Their expressions were too much to bear. Your head was spinning, seeing pity mixing up with disgust and anger in their eyes.

“Enough!” Loki finally broke his own silence, his mind having been occupied with all the horror scenarios one could think about.

Walking up to the midwife carrying the infant, he demanded seeing it. “Your highness, don’t-” yet the midwife’s beg was for naught.

Yes, everything will be alright. Loki will take care of it, like he always does. After all, he’s your savior, your hero, the love of your life...

Gently and insecure, your husband cradled the newborn in his arms - a sight to behold. And the baby’s strong cries assured you that it was at least alive.

However, as soon as he dared to unwrap the towel, revealing it’s face, Loki’s heartbeat completely stopped for a second. His trembling lip began to shake, mouth widely agape as he took in the child’s form.

For a brief moment, his mind was completely blank. All emotion dropped from his face before taking in a complete different demeanour.

“Wha-” you wouldn’t dare ending that sentence when your husband’s furious eyes met yours.

The air was so thick, you thought not even Thor’s hammer could break it. Clearly ritten on Loki’s usual unreadable face were so many emotions at once:

Aversion, fury, incredible sorrow...all directed towards you? The child?

Impossible.

Loki Odinson loved you more than anything in this world, this was the only thing you had always been sure he wasn’t lying about.

“From all the people I expected to betray me...” His voice was hoarse, as if the ache in his heart was wrapping around his throat. “Why did it have to be you?”

You could feel the horrendous aura, a wave of sadness and despair coming from your husband. Seeing him like this was like torture.

“What- what do you mean, darling-”

“Don’t fucking call me that, you harlot!” That was surely not the first time your lover had raised your voice against you - he could be a bit difficult at times, obviously.

But this time was different somehow. It sounded so...ultimate.

And the Loki you knew would never use such harsh words against you!

“Please, I beg of you...just let me see my baby!” Everything was just too much for you, almost to the point of passing out. 

And the man did as you pleaded, almost shoving the child into your arms. “There, have your bastard! And make sure to never show your filthy faces to me ever again!”

With that, he stormed out of the room, leaving you with those strange nurses looking at you like you’ve just commited an unforgiveable crime.

There was no use in overthinking this. He’ll come back like he always did. You can work this out, whatever it is - even if you are gonna be mad for a very long time, making such a fuss and then disappearing instead of taking care of you, the mother of his child.

Out of a whim, you decided to finally observe the little being you’ve been waiting for all those months.

A loud gasp escaped your mouth as you realized just why everyone was so worked up about that little boy. Yet the sound you made was solely surprised - not a hint of fear or rejection laced your voice.

It was a beautiful baby boy, little fists balled to the air as if he was searching for the warmth of his parents - though his skin was in the shade of a dark blue. When you dared running your hand over the deep lines and ridges on his body, the stinging pain of frostbite immediately stung your fingertips. His eyes snapped open, looking at you with black irises through red scleras.

You knew the meaning of this, even though you didn’t understand how this was possible: This child was a biological Frost Giant. A small one, but nonetheless.

A curse? Was someone trying to play your family dirty? No. If that was the case, the child wouldn’t also have actual powers together with the appearance.

Just how long have those tears been running down your cheeks in thick streams already? You wouldn’t know.

Only one thing came as clear as daylight to you: You loved this baby, more than anything in this world. And no matter the hardships that came along with it - you would protect him, no matter what!

“He’s magnificent...” you sniffled, pecking some quick kisses onto his small body before the cold could hurt you. “I love you so, so much...!”

Not minding the judging looks of the nurses, let alone wondering about the consequences, resolve was starting to give you new strenght.

The boy got a grasp on your finger, and instead of your skin freezing off as expected, your magic allowed him to the boy to finally disguise itself as one of you. How was this even possible? Well, this is probably the first time something like this ever happened, so no one could prepare you for what to expect with this child.

They all say that birth was an impactful event - but nothing could’ve prepared you for everything that you had to endure on this day.

Yet nothing could’ve stopped you from believing that this child was the greatest blessing that ever came over you.

Now you only had to convince your husband of that very fact...

“Y/N Y/L/N!” the guard wouldn’t even bother adressing you with your full title as his harsh voice woke you up. When had you drifted away into slumber anyway? You were probably way more worn out than you wanted to admit...

Your eyes immediately snapped open, heart skipping a beat until you saw that your son was still sleeping soundly right next to you. Stroking his cheek as he smiled up to you, it almost made you forget about that burdensome situation.

“Hey!” Protectingly, you were holding onto your child for dear life as the guard approached both of you. “I have an important message to deliver!”

You scowled, almost like an animal mother protecting their offsprings with baring teeth, even though you knew in that state you would be completely and utterly helpless. “Why now? What could be more important than the well-being of my child?”

The answer let your blood run cold:

“I am here to announce that Lady Y/N Y/L/N has to face a trial in front of the Allfather. The following crimes she is being accused of: Infidelity, collaboration with the enemy and trying to sneak one of them into our glorious kingdom.”

[stardustedangel]

Sweet As Sugar, Sweet As Can Be

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pairing || college!steve rogers x fem!reader

word count || 3.3k

summary || before you and steve head into the next semester of college, steve decides to take you to a fair to enjoy your last few blissful moments of summer

warnings || college au, fluff, established relationship, pet names (baby and sweetheart), teasing

author’s note || i cannot explain how excited i’ve been to post this hehe it was really fun to write and if this ends up being well received i’ll have more coming for college au stevie hehe <3 || gif doesn’t belong to me || you do not have any permission to re-publish, translate, or take any of my work

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The smell of sugary goods and the hot sun hitting the asphalt wafted throughout your senses once you stepped onto the fairgrounds. The sun hit your face and cast a warm glow all where it could be seen. Steve looked over at you with a sickeningly sweet smile on his face seeing your own as you looked all around you. You were beaming and your eyes gleamed at every single thing you took in. His smile only widened when he heard you let out a squeal of excitement and drag him further into the fairgrounds. “C’mon Steve! We have so much to do!”

Steve shook his head in adoration and let you drag him along. You’d been wanting to go to a fair for so long, but school had always felt like too much to take a break from and you spent the majority of the summer either with Steve in bed or out on random dates with him. He’d known you’d been wanting to go to a fair for a while so when one finally popped up in town he had no hesitation to buy tickets and take you.

Steve swore that the look on your face while he handed you the tickets was the most excited he had seen you since the two of you met, but that was quickly dispelled when the two of you finally got to the fair. Even on the car ride over your leg was bouncing in excitement and Steve's hand smoothed over your thigh trying to quell your eagerness till the two of you were finally there. Now here you were, bouncing around the fairground, trying to decide what the first thing you wanted to do was.

Steve watched your beaming smile drop into a cute pout at the overwhelming feelings of figuring out what to do. He used your joined hands to point towards an easy game that he knew you’d enjoy. It was a darts game with balloons hung on the wall. Small, plush prizes lined the stands of the game and you easily agreed when you caught sight of them.

Steve handed the boothman a couple of tickets for the two of you to play and handed you both some darts in return. You were quick to line them up, one eye closing dramatically as you aimed and threw the dart. It wasn’t hard to hit the obvious, colored balloons, but it still let pride bubble in your chest when you did. Steve was also obviously successful in his attempts though you started to poke his side trying to mess up his game which failed. You both chose two small matching bears for your prizes, Steve laughing at your comparison of him to the golden, blue eyed bear, and secured them in your bag before moving along to another game.

You caught sight of a line of crane machines, dragging Steve along by the side of his shirt when you couldn’t grasp onto his hand from the crowds of people around the two of you. He was easily able to keep sight of you with his staggering height, but he still found it endearing how you always needed to have a hand on him to make sure he was there.

You peered into the glass of the machine, looking for what prize was going to be yours by the end of this escapade. Your eyes latched onto a Hello Kitty plush, one that you wanted—no scratch that—needed. You pulled out a dollar bill and inserted it into the machine that let you have three tries. Steve’s body was pressed behind yours, one arm bracing himself on the side of the machine to hold his weight while his other rested on your hip. “What are you going for,” he asked lowly in your ear so you’d hear him.

You pointed one finger onto the glass in the direction of the plush, “The Hello Kitty one.” He nodded in understanding though you couldn’t see him and your hand returned to the joysticks so you could move the claw. You lined it up in what you thought to be the perfect spot, but soon doubted once the claw moved downwards and you saw just how far off you were. You sighed out and tried again moving the claw slightly upwards before dropping it again, but you had miscalculated how much further up you needed to go when you missed again. The pout on your face deepened and before you could move the joysticks again, Steve’s hands moved over yours. “Let me help.”

You nodded and rested your back against Steve’s chest before he moved your hands with his in a position over the plush, before dropping the claw with the press of his finger. You playfully rolled your eyes when the claw picked up the plush and moved it over towards the dispenser. The plush easily dropped down and you bent to grab it before narrowing your eyes at Steve.

“I did most of the work,” you scowled playfully, bringing the plush up towards your chest. Steve laughed and pulled the plush from your gently to put in your backpack with the previous two and put your hand in his again. “Mhm, sure, baby,” he dragged the word out as he brought your hand up to his mouth to press kisses along the back of your hand.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah smart guy. Let’s go find a game that’ll make you lose.” You stuck your tongue out at him and dragged him away from the claw machines trying to find more games you wanted to play. “Doubt we’ll find one,” Steve teased and poke at your neck making you squirm before walking alongside you.

After playing many more games, ones that Steve hadn’t lost sadly, you were craving something sweet. Walking around past loads of people eating funnel cakes or cotton candy had made your mouth water and you desperately needed something sweet. After Steve had noticed you eyeing a churro for what felt like minutes he looked around till his eyes landed on a food stall.

“Hey, baby,” Steve leaned his mouth down to whisper in your ear over the crowds of people around you, “you want a churro?” Steve nodded his head towards the food stand of sweets at your right and moved you two near it before you even answered. You still nodded your head at his question and your mouth started to salivate at the prospect of getting one of the golden treats.

Your arms wrapped around Steve’s waist and you rested your body against his as he ordered a churro for each of you. The day was starting to get cooler and you enjoyed the breeze that grazed your bare legs. Your legs followed Steve to a cool spot under an umbrella and handed you a churro. “There you go, sweetheart.”

You giggled in excitement and took the churro that he held out to you. “Thank you, Stevie.” You didn’t waste time digging into the sweet treat. The taste coated your mouth and you hummed out of delight, feeling some of your draining energy instantly come back. The cinnamon sugar stuck to the cherry lip gloss you wore for the day, but at that moment you didn’t mind at all. Your eyes widened when you took another bite, so confused how something as simple as a fair churro could taste as good as it did. You looked at Steve wanting to gauge this reaction to his own treat. “It’s good, right,” you asked with a sweet voice.

“It really is,” Steve let out with a light-hearted confused tone, “We should get another later before we leave.” You eagerly nodded and went to take another bite before your chin was grasped in between two of Steve’s fingers and he was bringing his face towards yours. You looked at him with confused doe eyes wondering what he was doing, and then his mouth was on yours.

Your body slipped closer to his as his lips molded over yours. The kiss was sweet in every way and when Steve’s tongue licked over your bottom lip and you quickly parted your mouth, but Steve had left you wanting for more the second he pulled away from you. Your lips tried to chase after him, wanting him to just have his mouth on a little longer, but he wouldn’t give in.

“Sorry, you had some sugar on your lips.” He pressed a chaste kiss onto your forehead before taking a bite of his churro, a smile on his lips that were quirked teasingly as he chewed.

“You’re such a tease,” you scowled and started to walk away from him to another part of the fair. He easily caught up with you, arm slinging around your shoulder and cheek resting against the crown of your head.

“So what’s next, sweetheart?”

You both continued to play games and walk around, trying different treats that piqued your interest. The two of you had also ridden on a few of the rides that the fair had to offer, realizing how bad of an idea it was after all the treats the two of you had eaten, but it was fun nevertheless. You had even managed to sneak a couple of candid photos of Steve when he wasn’t looking, making sure to remember to set one as your wallpaper once you got home. You both continued to wander around the fair, trying to find another thing to do before the two of you left for the day. The two of you had ventured into a part of the fair that wasn’t as crowded as the rest and which made Steve breathe a small sigh of relief. All day he’d seem to have been clung strictly to your side or back, not that he could necessarily complain, but it was nice for him to have his body relax into the less crowded space.

Steve fell slightly behind you, the only way the two of you had been connected was with your right arm extended behind your body to hold onto his hand as you led the way to an unknown destination. Your steps had widened and quickened once you saw a pair of friends exit a photo booth and you instantly made your way to where they had just left. The photo booth was a light lilac, metal trimming lining it with the photo and coin dispenser just on the outside. You could also see the seat from the bottom half of the short, white curtain that would be there to cover at least the upper half of whoever was inside.

“Baby, we have to do the photo booth,” you dramatically extended your words as you pulled Steve along. Steve threw his head back in a laugh, coming to your side and nudging your arm playfully. “Oh, yeah, sweetheart? We have to?”

“Sure do,” you sang out and disconnected your hands once you were at the machine. You bent at the waist slightly to look down at the coin dispenser that read the price of ‘50¢’. You hurriedly pulled out two quarters from the bag slung on your back and placed them in the dispenser before returning to your height and pulling the white curtain back. You smiled brightly at Steve and gestured to him to sit down first. “Why do I have to go in first?”

“We’re both not going to be able to fit on the seat, Stevie. Do you see how small it is?” You pointed down at the small seat that would never be big enough to fit both you and Steve. Steve tongue poked at the inside of his cheek and he nodded slowly, “Good point, sweetheart.”

Steve moved to sit in the small cramped-up space of the photo booth, one leg slightly sticking outside of the machine before he grabbed you by your waist and pulled you onto his lap. You pulled the curtain closed and laughed at the pouty expression set on Steve's features. Your hands went to his slightly disheveled hair and pushed it back. “Cramped?” You cooed at him teasingly. “Yes,” Steve bluntly said with a frown before he pressed a kiss to your cheek and looked at the screen in front of the two of you. “Do we just press start, baby?”

You looked at the screen with the clear bold letters of ‘START’ staring back at the two of you. At the bottom, you saw that there were five pictures the booth would take “Mhm! Are you ready? It’s gonna take five of us.” Steve hummed in affirmation and your finger went to press the screen. The countdown for the first picture began with a start of five seconds.

The two of you could then see yourself on the screen when the countdown started and decided to just smile for the first photo. Pearly whites aimed towards the camera with crinkled eyes exuding how happy the two of you were today. Your arms came to wrap around Steve’s neck as your cheek was pressed into his before the photo was taken. Click!

The next one was a cheesy, silly picture. Your tongue was stuck out towards the camera as Steve did the same except for the fact that he aimed his tongue at you. You squealed and closed your eyes thinking he was going to lick you. Click!

You both were laughing and looking at each other warmly, bashing in the light atmosphere that surrounded the two of you. Before the next picture was taken Steve leaned forward and placed a kiss on your cheek and your eyes closed at the feeling. Click!

You returned the similar gesture to Steve—hands placed on both of his cheeks turning his face towards you, and placing a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. Steve looked at you at that moment like you hung the stars yourself, always feeling so overwhelmed with the feeling of love every time you gave him an intimate gesture and treated him so gently. Click!

You gently wiped away the cherry gloss residue that stuck to his nose, laughing gently. The last picture’s countdown started when you pulled away from Steve, looking at him with gentle eyes. His arms wrapped tighter around your waist before he kissed you. This kiss compared to the one the two of you shared earlier in the day felt much different. More intimate in a way and maybe it was the setting that gave you both that feeling. Click!

It took the two of you a couple of seconds to separate after the picture was taken and when you did a warmth ran up your neck when you looked down at Steve’s swollen pink lips. Steve’s hands went up to your face to smooth a piece of hair behind your ear before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips and nodding his head towards the exit. “C’mon, sweetheart. It’s getting dark.”

You nodded and left his lap to pull back the curtain and get the two strips of photos that were dropped down in the dispenser. The two of you looked at them with toothy grins. You let out a small giggle before you placed the two of them in your bag for safekeeping. Your arm came wrapped around Steve’s shoulder and his arm wrapped around your waist. You looked at his serene blue eyes and let out a small sigh. “Let’s get that churro now.”

The fair was still booming with noises and now that the sun had started to set and the day got darker, the lights of the fair were more present than ever. Games, stands, and people all around seem to glow in the darkness of the evening. You took a few more pictures—Steve had also managed to take his own candid shots of you—new churro in hand as the two of you made your way towards the exit, tired yet happily content with how today had played out.

Steve was ready to go after the amazing day the two of you had, feeling his energy drop low and ready to just sit down and relax, but his eyes quickly caught sight of a game he knew he’d be able to win for you. “Hey, baby, one more game.” He pointed at the high-striker machine and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“Another game for you to win,” you prodded at him in a teasing manner laughing when he started to let out small giggles.

Steve hummed and nodded his head, “Gonna win you something, baby.”

His words let a small threaten to form on your face and after failing to conceal it Steve nudged your shoulder teasingly. “You like that idea, huh?”

“Don’t tease me. Go win the prize, strong guy.” Your finger poked at his biceps before you pushed him lightly in the direction of the game. You stood at the side, not wanting to be in the way of anyone walking but still in sight for both you and Steve to see one another.

After giving the man two tickets, he was handed a mallet and grasped onto it firmly testing its weight. Some people had gathered around to see him hit the target and while it put pressure on his shoulder he easily shook it off when he looked up at you. He tossed you a wink, wound his arm, and struck down at the target as hard as he could. Some people gasped around him watching the light of the machine travel up and up, and when the bell struck at the top some claps and cheers were heard.

Steve cheekily smiled, feeling a warmth spread across his cheeks when he finally noticed how many people had watched him. You looked at him with admiration, mouth parted at the sheer strength that Steve exuded and when he finally came over to you after picking your prize you smiled at him adorably.

“That was very impressive, baby,” you poked his chest and didn’t move away when he angled his head towards yours, pressing a kiss onto your lips and pushing the big, soft dinosaur plush into your arms. It was pastel blue and had the cutest expression on its face. Steve always knew you were a sucker for cheesy moments like this so it was no shocker that he was smirking at you, pride and adoration seeing through his chest seeing you let out a toothy grin. He wrapped an arm around your neck, pulling you closely into him, and finally walked out of the fair. “All for you, sweetheart.”

You both had made it back to Steve's car, ready to go home as the sun had finally set and the two of you had exerted all the energy that you could today. You leaned against the passenger door, plush in your arms and Steve leaned over you.

“Thank you for today,” you said genuinely with a grateful smile on your face, “it was sweet that you brought me here, and nice to spend more time with you, especially because school is starting up soon.”

Steve laughed and shook his head, “Ugh, don’t remind me.” You laughed and closed your eyes when you started to feel Steve’s face get closer to yours, lips firmly pressing to yours as you were pressed into the car by his hips. You melted into the dreamy kiss, warmth coating your body even though the cold of the evening ghosted past your body eliciting goosebumps that you couldn’t feel. Steve pulled away breathlessly and looked down at you endearingly, happy that he gave you a very memorable day of the summer. He pressed one more kiss to your forehead and rubbed his thumb over your hip. Steve drank you in, wanting to commit this sight and everything that had happened today to memory. “And, you’re welcome, baby. I’m happy you enjoyed it.”

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taglist || @jannqt @donutloverxo @aquariuslavenderhoney @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @strawbeariefaerie @kenzieam @animnerd @capsiclecevanss @honeychicana @la-cey @nony-bear @doozywoozy @aubreeskailynn @melchills-j @white-wolf1940 @patzammit

(send me an ask if you want to be added <3)

[pinkteapotwriting]

Healing

Wolfstar x fem!reader

Sirius is innocent and it doesn’t take long for him and Remus to make their way back home to you.

Word count: 3332

Warning: There is a food mention and brief nudity but that’s all baby

He was a shaking mess. It had been over a decade. Over a decade since you had last held him in your arms. Over a decade since you had left yours, Remus and Sirius’s shared home. Once Sirius was arrested a part of you died. Especially considering no one believed you when you said he was innocent; that he could never betray James and Lily like that. It killed you even more that Remus could believe he was capable of such evil. 

Remus did everything he could to console you, even though he lost his lover too, but him trying to convince you everyone else's side is what led you to leaving and never coming back. You remembered your blurred vision, the hot tears that spilled down your cheeks that night. The bitterness that pooled and overflowed at the thought of one of the men you loved fiercely being held against his will, while the other called you foolish for rejecting reality. But you knew Sirius was innocent and you just couldn’t live like that anymore. Where all your memories turned to ash in the fire that almost took you with it. 

So here he was, a shaking mess at your doorstep. Of course Remus had already sent an owl explaining everything, but that didn’t make his presence any less shocking. You looked behind him and saw Remus with a trunk in one hand and a lead attached to a hippogriff in the other. Remus was refusing to meet your eyes so you looked back to Sirius’s wide ones. They were so open and vulnerable and you knew without words being said exactly what this man needed.

“Remus” you called stiffly “walk around to the back. There’s space for the Hippogriff in a shed there. I’ll take Sirius in for some food and you’re welcome to join us once you’re done. Here, let me grab your trunk.”

You walked past Sirius, who was still very much so shaking in place and took the trunk from Remus and turned away briskly. Remus didn’t say anything and followed his orders obediently, too terrified and ashamed to respond at all. You walked back up to the man you never stopped loving and took his hand to lead him into the house.

“Y/N” he croaked. 

“Shhhhhhh, it’s okay love. I know you have lots to tell me, but we’re gonna get some food in you first, okay?”

He just nodded and allowed you to take him to the breakfast nook in your kitchen. You reluctantly released his hand to get him a glass of water and once you set the glass down you heard the back door open and close. Remus walked in silently and took his place across from Sirius. Not knowing what to say he just fiddled with his hands awkwardly as you placed the kettle on the stove. 

“Remus I know you’ll want some, but would you like some tea as well Siri.”

He just nodded while staring off into space.

You smiled warmly at him then turned to Remus, who still refused to meet your eyes.

“Remus” your gaze unwavering as he reluctantly looked up from an apparently very interesting spot on the table. “Two lumps of sugar right?”

“Uh. yes, thank you.”

“And Sirius only likes one. Okay, I’ll get supper started right away.”

Soon enough you were throwing ingredients in a pot to make some stew and baking some biscuits. The aroma was intoxicating for Sirius, who hadn’t had a home cooked meal in twelve years. You had always been a good cook and he found himself almost to the point of tears as you placed his supper in front of him.

You sat yourself beside Sirius and across from Remus casually as if there was nothing to talk about. Remus stared at you in awe, dumbfounded at your calm grasp at the situation. Not knowing how you could be cool headed when you hadn’t seen both of the loves of your life in over a decade.

“Please, dig in. You two look starving.”

Everything was a lot less awkward once you all had something to do. Sirius practically wolfed down his food and didn’t even need to ask before you were already filling his bowl with seconds. He looked so fragile. All you wanted to do was hold him, but it had been so long you weren’t sure how he’d changed and what his boundaries would be. What his innocence even meant for you two, for you three.

“Thank you”

Sirius’s hand found his way to yours and gave it a gentle squeeze. His hands weren’t as strong as they used to be, but at least now that he had food in his system his hands weren’t trembling. You gained the courage to look into his eyes. They were intense and sincere. Your eyes were then drawn to the bags under his. They weighed down his face heavily; what a burden to have to carry alone. 

“Come on Siri, let’s get you cleaned up before bed, yeah? Remus while I run him a bath I have some thawed chicken breast for our friend out back, if you’d be so inclined. I’ll make sure to get some more food for him tomorrow.” 

With that you led Sirius up the stairs to the bathroom and had him sit on the toilet as you got everything ready.

“I know you’re exhausted and I promise you can sleep soon-”

Sirius interrupted, “No, no it’s fine. I can’t remember the last time I felt clean. I really appreciate it.”

“Okay well I’ll leave you to it then. I’ll check in later okay.”

“Y/N”

“Yes Siri”

“Thank you.” his bottom lip started to tremble “So much.”

It didn’t take long for you to reach him and rub his arm soothingly. “Hey love it’s okay. It’s gonna be alright”

“But Remus told me everything and I- I’m just so sorr-”

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry. Remus and I will be fine. We’ll all be fine. We just need to communicate and figure some things out. None of what happened was your fault and I swear if I ever get my hands on that fucking rat I’ll-”

You were interrupted by a soft chuckle and your hands being clasped together between larger ones. You hadn’t even noticed you stopped rubbing his arm and replaced that action with clenching your fists in rage. He then placed a delicate kiss on the back of each hand before looking up at you. 

“You’ve always felt the need to fight others' battles for them.” 

Your anger sank back down to the depths where you normally kept it hidden.

“I will be right back. You get settled while I check on Remus.”

“Okay, try to be gentle with him though. I’m not angry at him believing what he believed. I mean all the facts pointed towards-”

You left and shut the door abruptly before you had to hear more of what he had to say. Your wounds never healed and you weren’t about to let him rub salt in them. Everything had been so much to take and just waiting to burst out through the surface, but you had to take care of your boys. Well, they weren’t your boys anymore, but you knew you had to help them pick up the pieces, whether they were yours or not. So you tried your best to strengthen your will as you made your way down the stairs, heart pounding heavily once you reached the doorway into the kitchen.

Your resolve however, broke, as your heart settled and warmed once you saw the sight in front of you. There was Remus drying the dishes as he hummed quietly to himself. Relieved that he didn’t sense your presence, because everything was too much and you just couldn’t stop the tears from forming. You silently padded across the kitchen and wrapped your arms tightly around the man in front of you, pressing yourself tightly against his back. 

“I’m so sorry” you mumbled.

He blinked. You were quiet but loud enough for him to hear.  He removed your hands from his torso and turned to hold you to his chest instead. One hand rubbed your back while the other cradled your head. “I didn’t realize that you had anything to apologize for. You were right all along, I was just too blind to see.”

“I’m happy I’m right believe me, but this isn’t the kind of thing I want to rub in. We lost too much. We’ve all had to wait 12 years and then we lost Sirius and then I gave up on us and-” 

“Shhh, love. I gave up on the man who needed me the most and I lost you because of my own damn foolishness.” he paused to place his hand under your chin to raise your gaze to his while his thumb wiped your tears away. “I never stopped thinking about you. Every day I regretted pushing you away. I still regret, I regret not chasing you as you left. I regret letting my fear of your rejection stop me from feeling joy for the past decade. I regret not begging for you to come back.”

You buried your face in his chest again finding comfort in his strong embrace, but you still couldn’t rid yourself of guilt and confusion.

“Oh Rem, I was so angry. I didn’t understand how you could believe it and it wasn’t fair we were even put in that position.”

“Are you still angry?”

“Yes and no. I’m not particularly angry at anyone anymore other than myself. I don’t know. I just wanted to make everything alright again and I couldn’t, I can’t.”

“That’s not a burden you should of had to bear alone, that you don’t have to bear alone”

You both stayed in silence for a while.

“Rem?”

“Yes Y/N?”

“Please stay. I don’t know what’s going on other than I know I need you here. Please, don’t go.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

You both stayed like that for a few minutes before you reluctantly broke your hold. 

“I’m gonna go check on Sirius”

---

Sirius had his head tilted back, not remembering the last time he was able to feel warmth like this, but also completely aware of how he was alone with his own thoughts. He raised his head as he heard a soft knock at the door. 

“Yes?”

“It’s Y/N, can I come in?”

“Of course.”

He rested his head back in the comfort your presence brought, letting the bliss overtake his finally relaxed state. Y/N smiled at the sight, completely happy as he seemed somewhat okay in the moment. You sat down beside him cross legged, taking in the face you could only see in your dreams for the past decade.

“I talked to Remus.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, honestly I don’t know what’s going on. Other than you two are gonna be staying here for a while so I can take care of you. I just came to check in before I got your bed ready.” 

You gripped the edge of the tub to lift yourself up, but before you could even move Sirius had his hand locked around your wrist.

“Wait- please don’t go.” 

“Everything alright?”

“Darling, I’ve had to be by myself for the past decade, I’m not exactly in need of alone time. Would you please keep me company? ”

“Anything you need.”

Instead of loosening his grip completely he replaced his hold from your wrist to your hand.

“Just need you here, that’s all I need.”

 His thumb rubbed the back of your hand in soothing circles and you couldn’t believe your hand had been empty of his for so long. You remembered that Sirius was always a man of action. Sure, he could be a little spitfire. He could get your tongue tied just as quick as he loosened it, however he showed his love with action. You were the same. So you couldn’t help but smile at the sigh that escaped his lips as you scratched at his scalp.  

“Here Siri, let me help you get cleaned up.”

He just nodded, welcoming to any sort of soft touch that he had been without for so long.

You grabbed a washcloth and slowly moved it up along his arms. Every movement as soft and tender as Sirius was right now. There was no sexual motive in what you were doing, but it did feel just as intimate. Tears started rolling down his face freely when you started massaging the shampoo into his scalp. 

“Y/N you don’t even know, you don’t even know how much I missed your hands, shit”

“It’s alright love. I know, believe me” you cooed reassuringly.

Finally when his hair was washed you started combing through his thick locks. Everything felt timeless and you wished you could make him feel this good for ages, but the goosebumps on his arms told you it was time to get out.

“I bet that water is pretty cold now, come on. Up you get.”

He just stared at you like you were the only good thing left on this earth as you dried him and eventually handed him a towel to wrap around his waist.

Knock Knock. “Hey, is it alright if I come in.” Well, maybe not the only good thing.

“Sure Moons,” Sirius answered.

Remus entered what he thought could be casual until he saw the bare chested man standing two feet in front of him, his cheeks turning a slight tinge of pink before he remembered why he was there.

“Here, I figured you’d want some clean clothes to wear so I brought some of mine to sleep in.”

“Well actually…” You responded. “You know what, just follow and I’ll show you.”  

They trailed behind you cautiously, very afraid of the sudden anxious tone of your voice. Once you all were in your room you gestured for them to sit on the bed and moved towards your dresser. Finally you broke the silence. 

“Don’t judge me too harshly but..”

“Oh y/n love, why?” Sirius asked.

The sight in front of him broke his heart. You with a heap of his old clothing that you placed beside him on the bed. The thought of you never moving on, of never healing and just living your life constantly seeing the remnants of the love you lost.

“I couldn’t do it. I know it’s not healthy, but they were the only thing I had left of you and I couldn’t bear it” you choked.

Sirius was there to catch your tears as he held your face tightly to his chest. Soon enough you felt another comforting figure wrap his long arms around both you and Sirius as he nestled in behind you. 

“This is ridiculous” you sniffled “I’m supposed to be taking care of you two, not the other way around.”

“We’ll take care of eachother darling.” Sirius replied.

“Like we were always supposed to. Can’t do this by yourself, love. I know I can’t do this alone anymore either.” Remus added. 

You breathed in contentment, feeling like someone finally removed the boulder that was placed on your chest. Your brain wasn’t free of all its constraints however, for you still had a million questions burning in the back of your mind.

“Siri,” you sighed “you really should get some rest.”

“But he smells so good.” Remus chided

Sirius just chuckled. 

“Well I’ll leave you boys to get ready, I’m not tired yet.”

With that you weaseled your way out from between them. Already missing the warmth, but still insecure with all the undefined things that maybe could never be defined again. You looked to see two very disappointed men and giggled.

“Seriously you two, just get yourselves comfortable and don’t worry about me, okay.”

You made your way downstairs, a thousand thoughts running through your head. That boulder was finding its way onto your chest again. Have you ever stopped loving them? No, of course not. Did they feel the same? What would this mean? Were you all in a relationship again? Had Remus forgiven you for leaving? Sirius seems like he wants you around, or does he just want comfort? Someone familiar to ease him in. God all you wanted to do was fall asleep in their arms again, but your fear was making your brain go haywire. So you decided you’d let Sirius take the bed and Remus would probably stay with him. Maybe they won’t notice you thought to yourself as you pulled a blanket over your body and let your eyelids become dark blank canvases.

---

The floorboards creaked with the unfamiliarity of Sirius and Remus’s feet. Finally they paused once they reached their destination and suddenly weren’t as confused as to why you had never come back up again. You were in a restless sleep, twitching and muttering to yourself. You awoke with a gasp, despite being awoken by a gentle touch. 

“Y/N, I thought you weren’t tired?” Remus questioned.

“Well, maybe I was a little tired…”

This time Sirius began his own interrogation. 

“Would you like to inform us why you’re sleeping on the couch in your own house?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.”

What you said was true enough but Sirius could feel your anxieties. He felt them the very same ones at first, but as soon as he saw you in the doorway he remembered all the nights he dreamed of you only to have dementors take them away. He wasn’t shaking cause he was scared. He was shaking because he was so completely overwhelmed that you were a real thing in front of him. In Azkaban deranged illusions of you were hardly attainable, and when they were they were ones that only inflicted pain. Then an angel answered the door and now this angel was doubting herself. 

“12 years I’ve had to sleep without you in my arms. I would fall asleep to the sound of your breathing. I haven’t had a proper sleep since the last time I saw you. 12 years! Do you know how many days that is?”

“4380, would you like me to include the days since you’ve escaped as well?”  

Remus answered cheekily, while dodging a swipe from Sirius as he continued.

“Besides, you’re not the only one who hasn’t slept. She would always sleep in the middle then suddenly it was too cold.”

"See you don't want us to be cold do you? That wouldn't be very comfortable."

You giggled at Sirius’s furrowed eyebrows.

Suddenly that stern gaze was turned into a warm smile as he spoke.

“Fuck, forgot all the cute noises you could make. That does it. This couch is too small for all three of us and I’m feeling too bloody selfish and sleep deprived to figure this shit out. Y/N you and Remus are the loves of my life and I’m not sleeping another night ever again without both of you within my reach understand? Pick her up Moony.” 

Soon enough your legs were wrapped around Remus’s waist and your arms were mimicking those actions around his neck. Truly a koala. Remus took you up the stairs while Sirius trailed closely behind. Your head was pressed into Remus’s neck but luckily your arms didn’t cover your eyes so you could gaze upon the beauty that was Sirius; still not quite believing it was yours to behold again. Your view however was subsided once you were placed on the bed. It didn’t take long for your back to be pressed firmly against Remus as you buried your head against Sirius’s chest. The weight of loving arms across your body replaced the weight of the world you once had to carry alone. 

And you knew you’d never want to fall asleep any other way again.

---

Shoutout to @thotbutpurple for encouraging me to write!