#I just need ppl to know where my loyalties lie

[sleepy-hyperfixations]

Im a top ice truther unfortunately

[ethtyn]

ll2 liveblog: etho's pov

love the way he just throws us into the action with "you have 24 hours to live, good luck," everybody scatters. you're so right king the rest of the rules are totally unnecessary <3

fucking. then he makes skizz explain the rules. girlboss behaviour tbh (LOVE that we get the boogeyman back !!!!!!)

"(keeping all of the moss) is what i wanted to do too, but i didn't want to get blamed for it, is pretty much what it boils down to" me as fuck. also, second of the three G's (gatekeep).

MARTYN ASKING WHAT THEIR IDEAL FINAL MEAL WOULD BE AND SKIZZ'S ACCIDENTAL PAUSE AFTER "MY WIFE"

pLEASE THERE'S SO MUCH MARTYN IN THIS EPISODE ALREADY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IF THEY DON'T TEAM

like. look at them.

PLEASE PEOPLE STILL THINK ETHO HAS A BOOGEYMAN TEXT DELAY 😭😭😭 aaaaand that makes all three Gs, LET'S HEAR IT FOR GASLIGHT.

i know it's like asking a fish to breathe normal air but Etho please i am trying to manifest a Martho (Etyn?) team up PLEASE stop making him think you're boogeying 😖😖

(i'm five minutes into the episode btw aren't u so glad i haven't been doing individual posts this whole time)

NAURRRRRR NOT SKIZZ ALREADY 😭😭😭 Grian's "i see the rules don't apply to you?" lmfao

BRO ANOTHER BOOGEY IN 7 MINUTES OF VIDEO? please. my heart

HELLO?????? SKIZZ AGAIN???????? SKIZZ STOP BEING ALONE I'M BEGGING YOU DUDE

WAIT i didn't even realize this breaks timmy's curse, at least for first green death of the server. n*ce

Scar with the fall damage 💀 ppl are dropping like flies LOL

bro the fact that Etho's stuck with Martyn this long. i am going to THROW UP. pleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASEPLEASEPLEASE...

"i'll give you some wood as a...as a reward" ayo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

it's actually really interesting seeing exactly how much video is being cut out. we're 11 minutes into the video but 30 minutes have already gone by in the session. i don't remember exactly but aren't sessions 2-3 hours? cutting that down to 44 minutes is fuckin impressive in that case actually

"okay so we've proven that none of us are the boogeyman right now" HAVE WE GRIAN?? because i heard Tango super unconvincingly say he wasn't and NO ONE ELSE.

"did you flinch? did that freak you out?" you little freak. i love you and am kissing you on the mouth

KCMXKFKD Grian buying Etho's loyalty with a diamond sword..."i will serve you however you wish"...GRITHO ENJOYERS WINNING

I'M CRYING i paused to write that last point and then IMMEDIATELY upon unpausing Grian's like "good, now kill Martyn 😈" and Etho's like. "actually? 🤔 Martyn wya 👀" STOP IT. STOP KILLING MY MARTHO DREAMS.

aaaaand they left him in the Nether. i hate it here OTL

i was so focused on Skizz whispering sweet nothings into Etho's ear (giving him a lovely compliment) that i didn't even notice Jimmy and Joel dying in lava until Martyn asked if it was a boogey kill LMFAO helpppp

WAIT STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP.

"CAN'T BELIEVE YOU REPLACED ME WITH A COW, ETHO"

"HE KEEPS ME COMPANY AT LEAST"

I HATE THEM.

"oh, so you're gonna make a boat with a new friend, hey Joel?" [Bdubs voice] ETHO STOP IT.

Jimmy's "sorry Rancher 🥺" after Joel kills the cow 🥴🥴🥴

wait where tf is the enchanter this season? did Grian finally get a clue and use spawn protection if they did a single enchanter again?

hello again Martyn 👀

"can i buy your silence about this spot." "i guess so. you got any diamonds?" "how 'bout wood, you want some wood?" Etho stop trying to give Martyn your wood 😩

oh RIP Cleo, they really are playing on hard mode from the first episode this season

Scarcledubs teamup? 👀👀👀

the way Etho looks at Bdubs after he says the breed stock comment. the dismissive "i'm not interested". i need to lie down (is already lying down)

THE WAY HE INSTANTLY TRIES TO YOINK BDUBS WHEN CLEO ASKS IF HE HAS ROOM ON HIS TEAM (she is so Tired lmaoooo)

I JUST REALIZED THERE'S NO REN THIS SEASON....DEVASTATING

i am so sorry 👇🏻

"do you wanna be our dad?" "...i don't think i could handle it."

👆🏻 sorry again.

this bit is going weirder places than i just took it tbqh

Etho confirmed not 43 (yet)

Pearl & BigB teamup??? also Pearl double-fisting diamond hoes on the serial killer server is objectively so funny

Etho sowing discord and distrust wherever he goes my beloved <3

HELLO AGAIN MARTYN...BELOVED...PLEASE STAY. look Etho is even setting up by himself... there's room for you too...

SKIZZ AGAIN I'M FUCKING LAUGHINGGGGGG (also RIP impulse)

"got me...got me excited" ETHO I AM BEGGING YOU.

Martyn accidentally killing their last cow with the fucking lava bucket 😭😭 you can tell he's genuinely sorry too JFNFJCKFKF

SOMEONE DROPPING A FUCKING LIT BLOCK OF TNT DOWN A HOLE AND PRAYING IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. no way that was a Martyn boogey attempt he's so much more calculated than that?????

it's so endearing to me that Etho's first instinct is to call people by a nickname out of their usernames (that isn't what everyone else calls them) unless they're a closer friend (Littlewood, Skizzle, etc). also RIP BigB (it was Martyn, turns out 😩)

this whole negotiation with Cleo. "Cleo let me steal your cows 🥺" "no." "🙄🙄🙄🙄 FIIIIIIIIINE" god the POUT. obsessed. also SO proud of him for getting over his fear of Cleo one attempt at stealing her cows at a time <3

i haven't watched Martyn's POV yet but if he fucking fell down one of Etho's holes to his death i am going to CACKLE WILDLY especially considering Etho made a comment about it TO HIM (i think) earlier in the session. "i've done this in every smp i've ever joined and people fall down them and get mad at me" LMAOOOOOOO

we got a "take care, bye-bye" 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖

[narwhalandchill]

thank u for the addition! but ehhhhhhh im sorry i really dont see this transactional + desperation aspect u speak of personally so agree to disagree more than anything n i have my own view of why his relationships to people are like That

firstly im not rly sure where this widespread idea of childe being someone desperate for other peoples approval seems to be coming from but canon-wise thats... not really the case to me. its never been. he has always been consistently confident and self-assured to the point where lore in things like his boss drops and profile alike make a point of repeatedly emphasizing the extent of his arrogance and ego. this isnt a desperate individual (i wouldnt rly call nor consider him a narcissist but lets say hes Way closer to that than some anxious wreck), so like, that motivation doesnt track for me. he Likes approval and praise and attention yes he loves that shit (attention whore <3) but hes not dependent on it. he knows who he is and what he wants.

secondly. on the specific relationships.

with teucer; i dont really think childes exactly unaware of the unsustainable nature of his lies - idt hes really called attention to it explicitly so far, but the continued theme of promises and taking responsibility for those of them broken in his SQ and how he is generally way more self-aware of the contradictory nature and relationship between all the different sides of himself - despite all being true to who he is obvi - than ppl give him credit for (the self admitted "kind of a bad guy" and things like "even good guys lie and manipulate at times… and bad guys have their own doubts and misgivings", for a few) arent rly. giving me oh hes completely clueless on what hes doing. he calls it defending childhood dreams; i think he knows teucer will grow up eventually; he himself did, after all. now i obviously do think theres that selfish and prideful element to how much he wants to Keep being that perfect big brother but again. i think the motivation has nothing to do with transactions, its just abt having a familial dynamic untainted by The Ajax 14 Incident and trying to preserve the purity of that perception as long as he can despite how shitty it is for teucer and the best way he knows to construct that relationship is through the high effort Perfect Big Brother & Loyal Knight (TM) persona, same way he wears any of his facets as a mask for any particular opera stage that asks for it.

as with his parents, methinks the tension slash possible painful history there goes way too deep for anything in that relationship in particular to be generalized for childes overall social dynamics. i think him sending them things is at most a way of taking care of his family without ruffling feathers at home bc again, the self-awareness thing - id assume childe in his 20s knows he was out of control and in the wrong back then at 14 (altho while not a fan of taking that fanon trauma angle at all for what was behind that ordeal. i also dont rly blame him for being unable to acclimate back to teyvat post 3 months in abyss w 0 support either; even skirk an actual adult avoids the surface bc of that reason aka adjustment difficulties lmao and he was just a teen with no proper outlet before the fatui gave him one), and understands the damage cannot be undone. and because nobody wants to talk and open those wounds, he substitutes for actions instead for amends and olive branches.

the tsaritsa is just. not sth i see at all. again. childes attitude towards the tsaritsa isnt one of a revered deity whose godly approval hes desperate for at all - he respects her for one reason and one reason only and its that shes a fellow warrior. and one who by serving he can continue accessing the stronger enemies and challenges he needs to reach his ambitions. like i do think theres a more transactional element to his loyalty to the fatui in general than most ppl do (like. i can fairly easily see him not backstabbing rly but ditching the fatui if either of those clauses falls; so 1) tsaritsa loses his respect or 2) he overtakes the fatui in power and they no longer provide him a way to pursue his goals. or 3) they mess w his family lmao its so funny when ppl speculate on this not considering how it might backfire on the fatui lol) but thats exactly bc he is Not desperate for a gods approval just for the sake of it. like yes, loyalty and keeping promises is a big thing for childe and he v much takes pride in his duties as a harbinger and practically feeds his overgrown ego an exclusive high calorie diet of good-at-my-job juice. but a man that is explicitly out there to grind the thrones of the divine to dust under his heel is not someone id consider a character thats scared of the tsaritsa tossing him away if hes useless lmaoo like hot take but to me. SHE has more to worry about HIM ditching HER lets just. say that 💀💀

also. the human weapon thing rly gets overblown im sorry. childe puts IMMENSE emphasis on staying alive to see the end of his journey as the most important thing. he talks about it constantly. he is not unaware of the risks he takes and the dangers that come with his path - thats why he makes such a point of the value of life (curiously also sth he shares with skirk; did he get it from her?) irregardless of the outcome of a battle. he knows his life could get him killed and is staunchly committed to Not Doing That. like this is just very clearly established in lore. ppl see him as suicidal or self-destructive and its like nope. he takes risks yes and is both reckless and overconfident at times but theres a very clear line for. what he knows he can and cannot survive and his will to live things through is one of those very pointed characteristics unique to childe that tend to be forgotten in favor of more fanon trope aligned interpretations aka Having A Death Wish or not realizing the risks he takes

(altho editing to add in here that yes could be argued that he lacks a plan for an actual long term future; he has a voiceline abt overthrowing the world and then dueling us to the death implying hes kinda just not considering a life past the point of fulfilling that grand ambition but also. he brings it up himself hes clearly self aware there)

then zhongli; again i think its reading a bit too deep into it, esp since the whole sugar daddy thing as funny as i find the dynamic myself as well is sth fandom has rly made a bigger deal than it arguably ever was in canon lmao. childes a very generous person to begin with and also had an additional ulterior motive for tying the fatuis finances into his "working" (business dinner inappropriate flirting into what-are-we into YOURE WHAT (fucking fight me) etc etc etc chili my dearest) relationship with zhongli as a way to add potential strings to pull with the wangsheng funeral parlor. so like there was already a strategic aspect to that. but also like. i just think hes a filthy rich guy who isnt that invested in the elitism of that position that enjoys the company of a person who tends not to think about the cost aspect of his many hobbies and happens to Somehow be strangely unfazed by ajax' general existence unlike most ppl. so its like. i dont think its that deep. they hang out, zhongli forgor the mora and ajax has more than enough to spare and far too little care not to throw that mora around like its confetti

now. what to me feels like a more prevalent theme in the dynamics you mentioned and that i can 100% agree with is that childe puts a great emphasis on the value of actions. as ways of representing his promises and ties to others as opposed to anything more abstract. you say he needs to be useful to other people to be allowed to be around them, as stated before, i dont really agree with the desperation element there, but i do agree being able to provide acts of service and be competent and helpful is a big aspect of and v important to his character but its just the desperation thats not rly sth i see. its about his own capability to do those things for others that means a lot to him. in terms of pride and ego and how he views himself. thats really the only thing. making and keeping a promise is an action. taking responsibility for breaking it is one too. loyalty is more of a nebulous concept (hence his self-admitted ambivalence towards such things in labyrinth warriors act II that ppl still think isnt canon text bc it goes against popular fanon where hes just Loyal period and not with a abyss shrimp colored asterix lol) but fulfilling his tasks and excelling at what he is asked to do are actions that center him and make his actions as the defining cornerstore of his relationships to others. like that to me is the central theme of all those relationships and its also why with skirk that element is absent: he knows that within the only domain their relationship takes (martial master & disciple) he is by definition the one with jack shit to offer other than following her guidance and trying to improve. she has already defined their relationship as one where this usual dynamic of his actions isnt as central. but bc ofc he would hes also Still trying to impress her thru his actions and it shows in the way hes desperate (like. unironically. THATS desperation for approval to me like childe has Such a Please Notice My Efforts I Worked So Hard on This PLEASE energy towards HER that he rly has for no one else JKWDJKJKWDJKD puppy crush at 14 moment hes so cute. tsaritsa megafan ajax? nah its all skirk. like her approval actually matters to him So Much you can see it) to see her again and challenge her to use both hands to defeat him the next time. like the reason skirk doesnt fit the 'pattern' is bc they just have a different dynamic and one that was formed before his current (insufferable) self and attitude was fully formed and he became the kind of person hes these days. like it has the remnants of baby ajax there before he killed his old self and picked the bones clean to remake himself into a warrior

and like this was partially in the og post wrt teucer already but overall i think the very like. grandiose nature of the roles he seeks to occupy in his relationships isnt a sign of desperation or thinking any less wouldnt be enough for ppl to tolerate him around but instead a reflection of his perfectionism, drive and ambition as well as his massive fucking ego. he doesnt want to be a Perfect Brother (TM) or at least the idea of it in his head (which can be a source of dubious judgements to begin w) bc he thinks only that is enough, he wants to be that bc he wants to excel at everything he does and put his all into it. hes not content with being average he MUST be the best and work towards being the best. being Just A Harbinger (like that by itself isnt a frightening achievement at his age already) that does his job as he should is too lowly of a bar when he always always demands more from himself to keep improving. so he strives to be a lethal weapon of war for the tsaritsa that commits to his duties with surgical precision. and so on. its not that he Has to be such an overachiever but that he Wants to be. he Wants to surpass his own limits every step of the way and watch the boundaries expand in front of him as he proceeds onwards on his path (lab warriors act III)

and as much as all this analysis stands i also think hes kinda just. a practical fairly straightforward guy by the end of it. and letting his actions speak for him is just a part of how he rolls imo like showing commitment by putting effort in a relationship through his actions is just a characterization thing. its easier to act to him than to do anything else, and slotting into a specific Role within a dynamic like the Loyal Knight Brother or Weapon of War just lets him allocate and manage which parts of himself he involves in any specific relationship

(also. its an inch resting quote unquote "loophole" to me that lowkey if u think abt it. foil hat on. he is loyal to the tsaritsa As her weapon of war. as tartaglia the 11th. as that particular mask that character. but thats also v much not All That He Is. so like. if u think abt it. isnt there also plenty of sides/roles of him that technically have never sworn that allegiance to her 🤔 hmm)

but yeah this got long jwdjkwdjkwjkdjkdjkdjkwd im afraid i couldnt rly agree with the central point ur making there but. theres v much interesting stuff to look at with childes relationships for sure & and this is just my very quick rambles on some of it. not very coherent but just stuff ive thought abt For A Long While wjkdjkwdjk

spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol

like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?

like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao

like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀

like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk

like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable

like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao

like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀

Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you

AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .

(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)

like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.

but then theres teucer.

And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All

Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????

yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....

like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.

like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up

hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭

A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap

[kazuwhora]

hello hello, i see your requests are open now and can i request izana, wakasa, chifuyu and kazutora with an akutagawa!s/o? hope you have a great day/noon/night! ✨🤗

hi anon! sure! I will try my best with izana and wakasa since there's not tons to work with personality wise so forgive me if theirs are a little shorter heh. im gonna include a little blurb from the bsd fandom wiki for anyone not familiar with his character! I like these kinds of headcanon requests so if anyone wants to see more please feel free to request!

"Akutagawa has a black and white "survival of the fittest" view of the world, claiming that weak people should die and give way to the stronger ones. He is not afraid of pain and defeat His ruthless, vicious nature makes him one of the Port Mafia's most dangerous members, feared by both ally and foe. As violent as he is, Akutagawa maintains a generally composed and detached approach. Towards subordinates and superiors alike, he acts aloof, distancing himself from social interactions however possible. Nonetheless, his composure is fragile. Akutagawa is quick to lash out, ridiculing him for risking the bounty by acting recklessly. This quick temper often gets in his way, fuelling his actions to the core of his very being."

SUMMARY: izana, wakasa, chifuyu, && kazutora with an akutagawa!so

CW: hints of toxicity and violence, mentions of sex but not really all that nsfw-ish so otherwise not much else!

IZANA

- this is an interesting one because from what we know about izana, he is very similar in personality to akutagawa in terms of ruthlessness that stems from childhood trauma and isolation.

- in the case of a s/o with this personality, I think it would be a troubling relationship. lots of bitter fights fuelled by nothing but an inability to express vulnerability, while leaving both of you torn up inside and begging for someone to nurture the trauma and allow space for emotions.

- that being said, with toxicity and trauma also comes intense passion and desire. this relationship brings a lot of fire both in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom, with simple arguments often spawning into intense desperate (and lengthy might I add) sex. like, intense. it's almost like sex is the only safe outlet of these pent up emotions, providing a sort of comfort and also distraction for both parties.

- however as I said in general, this is definitely a toxic relationship. one where neither can help the other when it comes to growth and improvement on a personal level. it's unhealthy and enabling, but for a short lived fling it is hot as fuck im not even gonna lie. lots of hate sex too.

WAKASA

- so wakasa is another interesting one alongside izana given the lack of information and content we have about his character so please excuse the slight kc fanon version I have in my head of wakasa lol

- wakasa has a "don't fuck with me because I do not fucking care" type of vibe to him. I definitely think he's the type to completely disengage from the type of behaviours an akutagawa-type s/o might display. this leads to sort of a sense of competitiveness in trying to get some kind of reaction from him, and it has the potential (much like izana) to become toxic in nature

- any attempts to get under his skin are failed attempts, and the way he looks at you with that half bored expression is something that only triggers more of a somewhat emotional response from you.

- with that being said, my fanon version of wakasa is someone who while cold and aloof, is also quite a rational person. he's been typed by the fandom as INTJ which is quite a quick thinker, and I think he probably (despite not showing it very well) has a soft spot for you. but your passion and intensity (as well as your easily triggered dynamic) keeps him from completely being able to express this care in any way other than not engaging with your antics

- as much as there are some similarities with the type of toxicity in this relationship with both wakasa and izana, the intense passion isn't quite the same as it is with izana. instead, feelings of passion are more to the point and driven by pure instinct and desire rather than toxic passion. wakasa seeming like a very literal person, is actually quite mysterious deep down and has a lot (I mean a lot) of hidden desires and kinks that begin to emerge with time. it's rarely a conversation, and more often just something that happens that surprises you. you just have to go with the flow here, and let him take the reigns for once. it might actually be a good opportunity to allow for vulnerability to take the spotlight for once, which is something wakasa is surprisingly in tune with and quite to the point about.

CHIFUYU

- this is something much healthier than the last two. chifuyu, being an enfp is someone that's able to handle this level of intensity in a person while still being able to understand what's really going on.

- call him the trauma counsellor king. he values each and every response to a trigger that you might have. he notices patterns, he makes mental notes of things, and he does this all without making it seem like he's analyzing.

- to be honest he actually loves the spunk you bring on a day to day level. even though most of the time it's driven by bitterness or hate (not always towards him just in general) he is still able to see beyond that and appreciate you for what you are.

- with that being said, chifuyu will not stand for any toxic behaviour towards him. no sir he will not. threats and pushes for fights wont be tolerated, and he will either disengage or try to expose your vulnerabilities in an attempt at forced submission. this can be hard to get used to, especially with having a personality characterized by the inability to accept being vulnerable. but with time chifuyu is one to create a safe space for you to allow yourself to feel emotions beyond anger and resentment, and he encourages this.

- because of this very feelings based approach, intimacy with chifuyu is just that: intimate. he's extremely loving and doting, hoping that his sweetness can rub off on you a little bit. however he's also very accepting of your need for power over him (especially during sex) and will absolutely submit to your needs in order to please you.

- he really likes to put you in a place of pleasure though, so however that may come to you chifuyu is the one to deliver it.

KAZUTORA

- oh boy. this one is a doozy. listen. if we're talking about timeskip kazutora (as is the case with all characters i write about but I feel it especially important to remind ppl of here given his history), we're talking about someone who is quite literally walking on eggshells in terms of his trauma and emotional vulnerability.

- he's pretty good at being emotionally aware of his needs and struggles as well as the needs and struggles of those around him, but that doesn't mean that he's entirely healed or capable of managing toxicity or his triggers. he still slips up from time to time especially when things get hard, and sometimes finds himself falling into his old patterns. after all, he's only human. but this is where things could get messy in a relationship.

- for the most part, like I said, he's pretty good. so let's focus on that part first since I want to give him credit where it's due. he is very desperate for love and dedicated to providing something to his partner. in this case, he will seek to tap into his emotional vulnerability to provide some sort of comfort for you. he wants to see you happy, and calm, because he sees so much of his old self in you that it gets to him sometimes. but at the same time, he struggles with your relentlessness and can become emotionally drained when things get tough. he'll beat himself up for not being good enough to help you, and this is when he'll isolate and fall into old patterns.

- however, akutagawa's personality type isn't all bad. with a s/o like akutagawa, comes an immense amount of protection and loyalty for their loved ones no matter how tough things might be. in this case it might be hard to communicate this, but there will be times when it's needed in order for kazutora to restrain from old habits and ways of dealing with hardships. but he wants to share his healing with you, he wants you to be happy, and more than anything he understands the struggle of wanting to be happy and healthy but being afraid of losing the one thing that makes you you: your attitude and relentlessness. nobody understands this better than kazutora, which is why things between you can get frustrating and very personal for him.

- much like chifuyu, sex is driven towards pleasing you and only you. chifuyu leans more into switch territory however, while kazutora is 100% submissive. in this case it works out well, however he has a lot of boundaries and limitations when it comes to the way in which you function. he doesn't like degradation. instead, he thrives from praise and any sign of love and care. this might be tough for you to execute 100% of the time, but when it comes down to it the way his eyes twinkle for you is enough to make the ice around your heart melt just a little more each time.

[hezuart]

That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.

I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.

I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.

And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.

We need that.

Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.

How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?

I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die

:3

Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.

Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.

I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)

and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)

-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it

So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???

(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)

And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.

The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.

At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters

1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)

But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.

2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?

Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.

This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.

Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.

(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)

Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.

(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)

~

Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)

(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)

Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...

Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.

A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.

I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this

Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.

(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)

Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?

I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.

I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.

Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.

~~~

There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh

~~~

Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.

BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.

Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.

Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.

[trihardent]

SO OBSESSED with how if we define honour as A) a willingness to go into battle, B) being honest and C) keeping to your word/ obligations that it perfectly maps onto The Red Army, who have honour, and their enemies, who don't.

FURTHER MORE

IF WE VIEW THE ENTIRE TEXT THROUGH THE LENS OF HONOUR VS DISHONOUR, IMPULSES BETRAYAL IS MORE CLEARLY FORESHADOWED, THE REASON WHY THE RED ARMY MADE SO MANY ENEMIES IS THEMATICALLY EXPLAINED, AND IT EVEN ADDS ANOTHER ELEMENT OF GREATNESS TO THE RENCHANTING DUOS CHARACTER GROWTH.

OK. First off. Renchanting Duo. Because its super quickneasy to explain, & I'm trying rlly hard to keep interest for as long as possible b4 ppls eyes glaze over at the wall of text.

Ren and Martyn's character arcs are to respectively, A) learn to be willing to stick up for your self, & B) learning to dedicate yourself* to others. So, they both become more honourable. And, as A DIRECT RESULT of BECOMING MORE HONOURABLE, REN MAKES SCAR HIS ENEMY. LEADING TO THE RED ARMY, THE ORGANIZATION REPRESENTING HONOUR, FORMING.

SO, WE LITERALLY SEE THEIR CHARACTER GROWTH CREATE THE SERVERS BIGGEST FACTION, WHICH IS BASED ON THE VALUES THEY HELPED EACH OTHER LEARN.

*screams*

*Dedicating oneself to others is not necessarily an inherent gain of honour like Ren's Arc is, but the looking at Martyn's behaviour we see how dedicating himself to Renchanting stopped him from really falling into dishonourable behaviour [see: his early penchant for heists]

OK. Second. Impulse's betrayal. There are a lot of moments where Impulse is shown to be less honourable than the others, him saying he'd give his life for Ren and then backing away the moment an actual arrow is shot, all the half truthing and dodging blame and sucking up to everyone.

As the thesis states, Red Army = Honour. If you're honourable, youre in, if youre dishonourable, youre out. So if you're skirting the line of dishonour, yet claiming to be honourable.......... You're foreshadowing :)

But. MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE MOMENT. What could be called the actual betrayal, Impulse leading the Red Army away from Dogwarts so the Crastle can trap it.

OK LIKE. Impulse has already been shown to be semi-dishonourable, and because the Red Army stand for honour, thats already foreshadowing that he's a traitor when he joins up. But. BUT. THE WAY HE BETRAYS THEM is one of THE MOST DISHONOURABLE THINGS HE COULD DO. LET'S TALLY UP MY MOST RECENT INVENTION, THE HONOUR POINTS SHALL WE?

He makes a secret (-1) plan with the Crastle folks to betray the Red Army (-1) so he can prove his loyalty to them (+1). Impulse is to lure them away(-1) so Tango can set a trap(-1). When he gets there, he convinces the Red Army INSTEAD of going into battle (-2) that THEY SHOULD START LYING (-2) and SPREADING FAKE NEWS (-2) across the server. Before having an absolute spy moment where he gives the secret go signal (-1) for the Crastle to, need I remind you, do something very dishonourable. Which! He manages to lie (-1) about after so he can get his stuff!!!!!!!!

-11 honour points!

So. His first explicit mission to betray the Red Army has him not only flagrantly breaking every ideal they stand for at least twice over, but ALSO CORRUPTING the Red Army into going against their own principles.

cool.

Finally. Their Enemies. Strategically, making so many enemies was pretty failcringe. THEMATICALLY though, THEMATICALLY. Good stuff. basically just a list of all the ways you could consider their enemies dishounarble by the criteria I laid out in the beginning. I've officially talked about all the Very important stuff so formatting is minimal from here on out.

Desert Duo: Scar's literal defining trait throughout the series was being seen as untrustworthy and exactly 0 people believing he was gonna follow through on any deal he made ever. Also, cue @/red-rose-gown's post about most of Scar's kills being while his enemies were facing away and the one that wasn't was because he was backing away. Scar basically never took an honest fight with anyone until the final duel w/ Grian, it was all running away and traps and hiding and distractions for him. Speaking of Grian, the trap king himself. Need I say anymore? Probably, but this has been sitting in my drafts for a month now.

Flower Husbands: Scott "Well He Doesn't Know I'm a Liar Yet" Smajor who just wanted to retire, and not go into battle. Not an honour move bro. Shout outs to the Daisy fiasco*, dishonour on you, dishonour on your husband, dishonour on your cow. Obviously Mr. "I don't wanna kill anyone" Gaming, who was planning on hiding the entire rest of the game also does not count as honourable.

ALSO the thing that made them official enemies was not wanting to go into possible danger ala Jimmy being freaked out over the idea of a sacrifice.

Crastle: A)Their whole thing was combat avoidance by hiding in the castle. 2.1) Bdubs hiding from the red army after they killed Cleo and Tango, 2.2) Bdubs disavowing Cleo after she was permakilled in front of him because he was scared of the red army, C.a) llama thievery C.b) roof burnage, no matter its target, is lowkey dishonourable, 4) the helmet stunt was literally a way for Bdubs to kill Etho without having to actually fight him.

Joel: See, the Daisy fiasco, the wall burning, the missile launch, the betrayal of the Red Army, I feel like this ones pretty self explanatory.

Tango: Double agentry, and The lava game was a way to murder people without combat, so dishonour. dishonourrrr. that not a real word to me rn thanks for reading this entire thing <3

[arminiloveyou]

heyo, can i get both an aot and jjk romantic male matchup? if only one, then jjk pls :))

looks: i’m like 5’5 (i think, maybe 5’6) asian, have glasses, dark hair that stops at my chest

positive traits: understanding, honest, trustworthy (tho i may tell my best friend smthn you tell me…), friendly, attentive, fast replier (yes that matters lots), ppl tell me i’m funny

negative traits: pessimistic, unmotivated, sometimes i say things without thinking and regret it later, can get jealous a bit easy

mbti: isfp

— lawful neutral

— enneagram 9

likes: animanga, talking with my friends, would like to hang out with them but yeah, food yup

dislikes: bugs, rude/loud/obnoxious people

in a relationship…

— i appreciate honesty and loyalty

— i dislike when they don’t know boundaries

— i don’t mind their personality, as long as it isn’t the basic bad stuff

if ur doing hcs, gimme some angst ones not gonna lie 💀

hiiiii hope you enjoy your matchup!!!

for jujutsu kaisen i match you with…

toge inumaki

absolute sweetheart. you two would get along sooo well. he’d never put an uncomfy amount of pressure but he’d try n help push you to be a better you n motivate you to accomplish everything you wish to get done. direct with his love. prepare to be spammed by the cutest boy. “ahhhh!!!! y/n!!! can i come over!!!! i want cuddles!! going to lay in your lap!!! like a cat!!!! meow!!!! please!!!!” he’s a dork sometimes but he has a serious side to him of course “y/n, i hope i don’t seem like i’m disappointed in u. it’s just i know u struggle with motivation so i want to help encourage u n lift that burden. don’t worry please. i think ur the best. i love u seriously. if i’m not helping or u don’t want my help that’s okay just tell me plz, i am here for whatever u need n want. u can depend on me. i am urs.” he’s gotten use to having limited speech but it stings him sooo deeply when it comes to you. he wishes he could be “normal” n tell you his feelings out loud. he wants to make your heart swoon from his voice. the only thing that brings him comfort about the situation is his confidence in being able to protect you.

for attack on titan i match you with…

eren jaeger

okay… he’d never intentionally do it… but he loves when you’re jealous. he feels like it’s proof you actually like him. (is he me?) i feel like he’s easy to get along with n he’d be a total golden retriever boyfriend. i think he’s quite reserved though he’d definitely get sooo giddy about you. he’d never leave you worrying of his feelings for you. also, if you’re ever like venting about how you wanted to hang with your friends but they couldn’t he’d be like “let’s go do something!!!” he’s also a total “i miss you….:(((“ when he saw you a couple hours ago typa person. he sometimes has nightmares where you leave him n they completely break his heart, he’s needy the next day n extra touchy, with even bigger puppy dog eyes than usual, but he never tells you about the nightmares cause he doesn’t wanna scare you off :( he fears you’ll think he’s crazy or dramatic. when he misses you he lays in bed n just stares at the ceiling. he’s in love with you please go see him now!!! sometimes he’ll take your glasses off your face n put em on for fun

[abortionado]

I have a real life tale of Homeric Epic proportions for you all. I do not condone the actions of anyone in this story

My senior year of high school, I was entrenched in a preposterous scandal between two of my friends.

Guy 1 was this completely indescribable, sexually ambiguous, utterly ridiculous little xc/debate club twink who was an armed libertarian leftist, HYPERfixated on working class history, and VERY intelligent but so hyperactive and deliberately loud/obnoxious that all of our teachers hated him anyway. He called me “Rosita Bonita,” and was accepted to Princeton and CalTech but was going to a mid-tier school nearby because he didn’t want to leave the mountains. 🥺

Guy 2 was an extremely easygoing, widely-beloved football player with a FIANCÉ he’d been with for 3 years (religious people in small towns get engaged young) who was a devout environmentalist and was planning on going to trade school in Italy after graduation. No real reason, he just thought Italy was dope, which I respect. 

Both good guys, both weird

We were all the same friend group (me, the dudes, the fiancé, & several other ppl), and those two were really close. Like if I was slightly more heterosexual I would say “bromance.” The summer before senior year, those guys, another friend of ours, and the fiancé went on an educational environmental science trip to Peru, where they, like, hiked around and camped out in the mountains. I don’t know or care what they were supposed to be learning about the environment up there, I just know that they split their little group of 4 up into a boys tent and girls tent, and these two boys who the Lord God put on this earth to play high school sports started fucking each other in tents in the rocky mountains of Peru.

Which would normally be like, okay, so what, Rose, why are you telling me these dudes’ business, but you have to remember that the second dude had a fiancé, a female fiancé no less, who was on the trip and was sleeping just a few yards away from where these boys were fucking each other. And this is where it morphed into everyone’s business

My friend, the only member of their little group who was not involved, called me from a hotel one night when they’d gone back down out of the mountains and into a town (and thus had cell service again), and she was like, “Rose, you need to help me.”

And I was like “What? What’s wrong?” Panicking, because my four dear friends were very far away in a weird mountain town and I had no idea what could possibly have happened

And she goes “I think that [guy 1] and [guy 2] are having sex, and I don’t know how to tell [fiancé].”

This is news to me, because I was previously SO sure that guy 2 was straight. I was like “I really think you’re losing it”

So we talked it out a little bit and decided that the high altitude was getting to her, and our friend wouldn’t cheat on his fiancé, who he really loved, and our other friend wouldn’t sow division in our close-knit group like that

School started back up however long after they got back, and things were just like. Completely normal for a while, and then after like a month of the whole thing being forgotten and under the bridge, guy 1 becomes overwhelmed with guilt and decides to tell the fiancé that he was in fact fucking her beloved in the Peruvian mountains.

Now, this was a MAJOR blow to the law, serenity, and order of our group, as im sure you know if you’ve ever been involved in a situation where a member of a friend group was cheating with another member of a friend group. All of my friends are very progressive, so it was much more about the cheating and lying than the fact that they were both men, but I would be wrong to say that that was not also a concern, because it came so completely out of nowhere. We were all blindsided (except for my friend, who I had accidentally gaslit into believing this wasn’t happening and she was going crazy from mountain air 🤪)

So. This is where it gets wild

Guy 2 takes the logical path out and decides to just lie and say that this never happened at all. Like, he straight up denies everything guy 1 is alleging.

I don’t know why he did that. You should never lie about something if the other person has screenshots, which guy 1 did. He had screenshots like you would not BELIEVE.

And he IMMEDIATELY took to the public Internet, which my mother uses, with these screenshots.

A lot of people had heard rumors about this by now, because these guys were both athletes and guy 2 was like “popular” or whatever, so it just kinda gets around. Guy 1 decided to feed the people and send the screenshots to the school gossip IG acct (“____ high school tea”), and of course, the person running the page was THRILLED to have such top-tier content so early in the school year, and it was all posted for their 1,188 followers to see.

The screenshots told a story that ran much deeper than two dudes fucking each other on a field trip. I had initially kind of assumed was just a “gay-for-the-stay,” messing around kind of thing, but there were screenshots of texts from guy 2 about getting MARRIED, telling guy 1 that he was his SOULMATE, telling him he “set my heart to flame,” “I love you more than anything,” etc etc., and, most notably, a picture of guy 2 in the act of SUCKING GUY 1’s DICK. Some of these things dated from WEEKS AFTER they got back from Peru.

So, it was clear to me that guy 1 AND the fiancé both felt (justifiably?) extremely fucked over by guy 2 at this point. The previously-airtight group was on the verge of collapse, as all of us had been dragged into this conflict between these 3 mfs. The girl called off the engagement.

Guy 2 wrote a notes app apology to the entire school claiming he had dissociative identity disorder and blaming the entire affair on his gay alter ego. Then he wrote a sad rap begging his fiancé to get back with him.

But the most insane part of all of this is that, since guy 1 AND guy 2 were both 17 when the explicit pic was posted on “[redacted]hstea,” the POLICE got involved. Guy 1 was investigated on CHILD PORNOGRAPHY charges for a picture of him getting his own dick sucked by a peer, as was guy 2, AS WAS the person running the tea account.

(This tea account had ruined lives, so when her identity was revealed, she literally transferred schools within like a week. Or maybe she’s in jail idk)

The charges were dropped and the boys were let off with a warning, because like. From a legal standpoint, who cares, but we All had to go to an internet safety assembly run by cops where they lectured us for two hours about not taking nudies, and EVERYONE was looking at me and my friends, because even though we had nothing to do with it, they KNEW we were affiliated with the defendents, and that was enough for them

Then guy 1 shot out the back window of guy 2’s car, which was the catharsis of the whole event, and it effectively blew over within another month or two.

Our group was split in half by loyalty (we joked and said guy 2 and his fiancé were like our divorcing parents), and I did not see those two in a room together for SEVERAL months, but then there was one weekend in like February that we all got together like old times (except for the fiancé who had moved on to a better man, as she should), and we were talking about going to a party with some of guy 2’s football friends, and guy 1 was like “I’m not gonna do that. You know what they say about me.”

And guy 2 tucked guy 1’s hair behind his ear and said with ZERO hesitation, “But you know I won’t let anything happen to you.”

This is a completely benign interaction, but imagine being me, witnessing this after 8 months of general social hell, child pornography charges, ruined friendships, Megan is missing assemblies, THE most dramatic breakup I’ve ever seen in my life and subsequent SoundCloud raps, shot out car windows, and a fake DID diagnosis, ALL because guy 2 wanted to avoid allegations of gay behavior. For WHAT.

Anyway coronavirus happened and idk what’s going on with them now and I don’t care but that’s my villain origin story

[cherry-thegenz]

MCYT prompts

list of my personal prompts so far : ) (some i’ve written for, will make a list of all the mcyt fics ive made maybe), will put written under ones i’ve written lol

Insane Skeppy (TW: torture)

 “Skeppy tortures Bad because he just needs someone to torture and I can't find the word for that

Anyways it'll be a longer oneshot so I hope someone does it”

written

Dolphin King (Karlnap)   Karl needs a dolphin to quickly make it through the ocean. But first, he needs to ask the Dolphin King to borrow one.

written

Drunken Pranks

 Sapnap, ever the insane idiot, decided it’d be a good idea to prank Dream. George, also an idiot, decided it’d be good to join him. Thus starting a prank war between all of them. (make them get drunk)

Nobody hurts Gogy (GeorgeNap | platonic or romantic)

somebody hurts gogy. sapnap gets very protective Fluff ;D [based off when sapnap said ‘nobody hurts gogy’ hahahahahahaha]

Don’t Mess W Niki 

basically bamf niki these are the notes i wrote  frick im supposed to sleep but was suddenly struck w this idea from animatic aka where wilbur n tommys citizenship is yeeted?? and its all angst and i love it butimagine that but while they're gone niki just gets so mad at schlatt and just like goes full on badass mode gets full netherite armor and stuff for like tommy n wilbur spends hours getting materials for themand when they come back she's handing them tools and weapons and she's got techno on her side and she's just ready to throw hands with schlatt, has tnt prepared, etc, shes just super prepared to murder schlatt and we get to see her sniping people with a bow

written

Atlantic Empire

techno is king of a weird kingdom. He’s known as the blood god, so good at pvp even the Dream SMP kingdom can’t touch him.

His kingdom is just so weird though.

He’s had at least three wars that had no violence at all- literally just about which kingdom could get more potatoes farmed

His subjects all bully him, hes fine with it, and they’re actually all adore him anyways. 

All of his citizens are strangely sarcastic (him even more so)

He’s allies with pogtopia, hates manburg

Neutral with the dream smp

“blood for the blood god” 

“Subscribe to technoblade”

“Technoblade never dies”

Its a small kingdom but most of the residents are so good at pvp or speed building or even bedwars/skywars in general that they’re all really powerful

His kingdom is normally p quiet actually

When it snows, it snows

Also ngl, all of their kingdom are BULLIES

Also they’re super competitive but have no hard feelings

Much anxiety (a lot of them chill in their homes or w one friend group but they all know each other)

Winner of antarctic empire bedwars championship go against technoblade and theyre just like “wow i win and all i have to do is speedbridge faster than a pig easy win, i’ll be the new ruler”

Its actually a really good match and in the end the winner gets to be Head Knight or sum, techno wins tho

written

  Scars (any ship, platonic/romantic)

“what? Shocked by my scars?”

“Kinda.”

“What are you gonna say? They’re a sign of how I survived? Because I know that, I wish I never did-“

“I haven’t even said anything, and you’re already making assumptions.”

“What?”

“I think they make you look imperfect. They make you look like you actually faced hardships. Like your life wasn’t perfect. It’s comforting, in a way.”

“..oh.”

Don’t Hurt The Children [Gods AU]

Don’t Hurt The Children

Prompt: essentially, there are gods on the smp.

Dream - demigod (of war)

George - mortal

Sapnap - demigod (of fire)

Niki - goddess (of friendship and revenge)

Eret - god (of betrayal and loyalty, because they lie hand in hand)

Techno - demigod (of victory & blood - his godly mother is actually p calm n knows when to use these so) 

Phil - god (of family and wisdom)

Wilbur - demigod (of violence)

Tommy - demigod /doesnt know it/ (of music, camaraderie - music discs lol -)

Tubbo - demigod (of nature)

Fundy- hybrid fox

eret is a God who lives in the Dream SMP, dream is a demigod of course, Techno also demigod, Phil + Niki other gods

wilbur goes Insane, hurts tommy - and eret, phil, and niki all decide hes d e a d

Respawn AU

respawn au but ppl get to choose when to perma-die or if they want to leave the server, they get as much time to choose as wanted

Wilbur traps tommy ? in a room w just a bed, wilbur goes to explode l’manburg but techno exposes him (jschlatt is good in this one), n wilbur is caught

Tommy dies from starvation in the game just as wilbur is caught and they all panic They have no clue where tommy is but wilbur (who is bad but not that bad that he’d let tommy die over n over from starving) shows them where he is and his bed spawnpoint

But tommy isnt there and they panic because

It shows when somebody dies

Doesnt show when they permadeath

Does show when they Leave the Game

So they all panic but actually tommy’s just in the respawn menu, tired of everything and disassociating. He snaps out of it because of techno :)

written

Coconut 2020 Win AU

what if fundy and niki initially won the election and became presidents..

me imagining reactions

fundy n niki: celebrating, happy etc

jschlatt (bc i love making him a good guy): sighs, shakes their hands tho and says congrats etc

wilbur on the other hand: betrayed, accusing, trying to take tommy and leave - tommy refuses 

Citizenship to Run 

Jschlatt wins but then Wilbur laughs and is like “lol thought u were joking bc only citizens of L’manburg can run, and ur only a guest” and that’s basically what happens

if you want to use one of these prompts, go ahead!! if it says written under it, that means i’ve written it on my ao3 Cherry_TheGenZ and it’d be cool if you could just mention me <3 

i will also be writing this so just mention my tumblr !! give me CLOUT 

[kendrixtermina]

One thing that felt uncomfortable to go along with in the CF route for me was when Edelgard lies about what happened at Arianrhod to her closest allies (Black Eagle Strike Force) and blames it on the church. Can you give some insight as to why she does this? Especially when Edelgard criticizes the church for lying to the people of Fodlan, but isn’t she doing it here?

That’s certainly a moment that is genuinely ambiguous / a valid point of criticism and something I’d laud a whistleblower for exposing if it were a RL politician, but also the sort of realpolitik / appearance management that has taken place in most RL wars. 

Once you’re the leader of anything, allowing panic, division, etc. at bad moments comes with its costs. Of course this is hardly a carte blanche (see: Beating down legit protesters for superficial “order”), but neither is it a factor that can be ignored completely.

At the point of the Arianrhod attack Edelgard was one month away from seizing control of the landmass and ending the large-scale fighting, having one enemy taken out (the Church) and being able to turn all her resources on the other (the Agarthans)

The agarthans at this point know they’re losing control of Edelgard and they’re not stupid enough to have any illusions about her loyalty. So they fire a warning shot to demonstrate their superior weaponry. Arundel makes a thinly veiled threat to fire it on Enbarr. 

Of course at this point he basically gave away his location and allowed Edelgard & Hubert to come up with countermeasures, but they don’t want him to know that yet, their strategy involves that they keep being underestimated, let the Agarthans keep thinking that the “beasts” have no counter for the nukes pointed at their heads. 

But they still destroyed half a fortress killing the ppl inside. If she reveals that she’s got a rogue faction infiltrating her ranks that’s firing frightening superweapons nilly willy, there will be chaos outrage and disunity right before the final battle. If she doesn’t make a statement at all and declares it a mystery, no one will believe it and her own faction will get the blame throughout the country. So what does she do? Pin it on the enemy she is currently fighting anyways. The purpose here is not to reveal the Agarthan situation too early so they can focus on the church for now. 

It’s unclear if this was ever revealed to the public (probably not, I don’t think she’d cause a stir on principle alone) but the ending cards make it quite clear that the Strike Force was let in on the Agarthan situation later and helped her mop them up. 

Yeah, it’s defamation, an indisputable  textbook government cover up and maybe even technically a kind of propaganda, but her casus belli existed before it’s not like she’s basing it on the lie, and in most wars throughout history the factions have hidden or made a spin of failures & mishaps and made the enemy look bad. 

There are certainly many historical examples of such actions creating problems, such as fueling lingering resentments or creating general mistrust that can led to real information not being believed etc. so it’s by no means a safe action that is no big deal and I can see how it could be a legit dealbreaker for some, you certainly weren’t supposed to be 100% comfortable with it, or anything on the CF route, everyone involves is well aware that they’re doing ugly, costly things because (or so they see it) the alternatives are all worse. In that sense it’s the most self-aware one. It’s about actually looking at the bottom line of consequences, not what makes you feel like a hero. 

At the same time, doing things like that that squander her moral credibility genuinely IS a flaw in Edelgard’s leadership style - it’s probably why more ppl didn’t believe her manifesto, “she already lied to us cooperating with these shady guys”, making it look like a ‘he said she said’ situation to the wider public that can’t go & confirm the evidence for themselves. This is why Claude thinks he has a better shot at winning& implementing reforms in VW (”too shady for the ppl to get behind”) - just like Dimitri has no plans and Claude’s secrecy creating mistrust even when his secret plan is utterly benevolent.  Doesn’t matter how altruistic you are if you look suspicious it will have consequences I mean that’s how she loses on the other rouses, everyone ganks up on her cause she antagonized them all with suspicious actions. I’m not saying she’s any more perfect than the other 2. 

but putting that on the same scale as what Rhea did is comparing a candle to the sun. 

And maybe the Kantians in the audience will disagree with me but it can be a bit unhelpful to classify different actions of vastly different consequence and magnitude as “Lies”. There is a common principle (telling things that aren’t exactly true) but different magnitude. Clearly “The Confederacy was all great and glorious” and “I totally didn’t eat my little sister’s share of toffees” aren’t on the same level of immorality. 

Neither is below the “everythings fine and dandy” line but one is a lie about one incident for one clear purpose, and the other is creating a whole fake world view for the express purpose of control, maintaining harmful systems, suppressing any advancement of science & technology... for 1000 years. 

Scale, purpose and consequences are totally different. The arianrhod coverup coming to light would spark controversy & discussion on wether she should have done it under those circumstances; Some might change their opinion about her but overall everyone already knew that she’s not above dirty methods. If you told the average citizen of Fodland about all of Rhea’s lies, everything they know would be wrong. They would go from Adoring & worshipping her to being very confused about what’s true. 

It’s the difference between your average modern-day politician doing backroom deals with diverse industry lobbies to accomplish their other goals, and a place like Saudi Arabia. 

To get perspective here, let’s look at another example: Claude’s deceptions. 

He, too, ultimately wants what’s best for everyone and a lot of the time he decides to fool people to avoid fighting them, I don’t mean to bash him at all, but let’s look at his actions in and of themselves: 

Look at the sequence where he, Hilda & Byleth rope the church into helping them - that’s even more outright with the slimy politician tactics: He tries to downplay alliance involvement though he is totally in control, he says that “getting the church on our side will make fighting the empire look like a moral cause” implying that he doesn’t think it is one but wants to portray it as one to get ppl’s support, we’re told he made lots of promises to the merchants to get them on his side (so like that’s literal lobbyists), he installs Byleth as a figurehead, he tells the church ppl he wants to help them get back their old power when he really wants it to diminish and to drastically reorder the society.

He tells everyone he’ll help them save Rhea but while he still has basic human empathy for her & what happened to her he makes it clear he doesn’t want her to go back to being archbishop... at all. He even does this with Byleth: “Yeah, sure, teach we’re totally gonna save her”  though in their case he tries to hint that she’s not to be trusted for their own good. Despite his dishonesty, he’s actually a very good friend to them imho. (#broTP)

In the end the power struggle between Claude and Edelgard isn’t personal nor a righteous struggle - he’s just taking advantage of the chaos she caused and he needs the seat of power to reach his own goal. He thinks he can do it better and she’s in the way (and to be fair, she thinks the same about him) 

It’s your classic slimy politician: “he’s pretending to be for family values etc thing but really he wants power & is in cahoots with economic interests and he won’t do what he promised” etc. ... except with the plot twist that he’s deeply good and not actually all that ruthless.   In a sense he’s as much a total subverted trope as Edelgard.

So doesn’t he have the right to criticise Rhea either? Or do you see how, while not per perfect, he’s miles better and not remotely the same?

Edelgard isn’t 100% truthful, but by and large, she made her intentions very clear with the pamphlets and stuff (even if it meant antagonizing ppl who were against that) and all her soldiers generally know what they’re fighting for and are going to get out of it if they support her, or what the consequences will be if they fail, even if she kept some of the “how” to herself. 

Which isn’t to say that Claude ever makes ppl act against their interests even if it’s sometimes what he sees as their interests.

Under Rhea’s rule no one knew what the government’s doing, why it’s doing it, or to some degree, even that she IS the government... for 1000 years. There’s some cult of personality going on. She probably genuinely believes that it does benefit the sheeple to be “guided” by her, but she hasn’t even told Seteth about all she’s doing, she’s pretty much accountable to no one.

In terms of honesty, we could probably rank the lords like this: 

Dimitri (a few omissions at worst)

Seteth (lies mostly out of self-preservation)

Edelgard (some convenient secrecy here & there)

Yuri (about the same as El but I’d put him slightly higher for the fake betrayal) 

Claude (no one rly knows what he’s up to, but he gets ppl what he promised them and doesn’t outright betray them)

(very)

(big)

(gap)

Rhea (fake history, isolationist bubble, abuse of power left & right, manipulation, will smile in your face while planning to make you a meat puppet for her mom)

[thebotjock]

Just some 1:30 am ramblings as I sort through my thoughts. Sorry it’s long, Idk how to add a read more on mobile.

I really did enjoy this game, like I loved it, ellie’s parts mainly but I started to enjoy Abby’s parts eventually once I warmed up to her a little.

Overall, I don’t like Abby as a person/character but I get where she’s coming from with her actions. I know why she did the things she did. I mean Joel killed her dad, fucked over the fireflies AND doomed humanity all in that one decision to save Ellie. I loved yara and lev but they were the only allies of Abby that I liked really. And i didn’t dislike everyone because of what they did to Joel, though it certainly didn’t help, I just didn’t click with any of them like I did with say Tess for example in the first game, I was just indifferent to them. And honestly I straight up was just annoyed by Abby for a lot of the game. But god I hated Mel and that fucker Ellie managed to slice up with her knife the most. I’ve never taken such a dislike to a character ever as much as I did Mel. It was really cool to see a pregnant character fuck shit up but gOD I couldn’t staND HER. Aside from that, it was Abby’s fear of heights, her banter with Lev and her funny comments on stuff that made me warm up to her a bit in the end but I didn’t love her. The game is real good and I really enjoyed it but she shouldn’t have had as much screen time as she got idk. Maybe that view will change on a second playthrough? Also That Scene™ on the boat was stupid and pointless. Just fade to black... christ.

Also a big part of the game to me at least felt like in these situations where you have both sides and you’re attached to both characters, choosing a side or whatever comes down to where your loyalties lie? Like who do you love and want to fight for more? In the first game for a lot of people it’s clear cut what you want to do next - save Ellie, humanity be damned, because we love her. We’ve travelled all this way with her and we just truly love her. And in the second, it’s a little more cloudy for a lot of ppl who grow attached to Abby and Lev. In my mind I knew my loyalty would always lie solely with Ellie no matter what happened. I’m super attached to this character and even tho I don’t agree with or condone her actions half (most of lol) the time, I’m gonna take her side no matter what, you know? (Except when she left her cute farm, baby and Dina. Ellie what the fuck is wrong with you. I wanted to reach through the screen and shake her)

Also I need therapy after the boss fight in the theatre lol that fucked me up good. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to finish the game. I was so so sure Ellie was gonna die and beating her senseless was brutally hard to watch. It was a very very interesting and bold choice to make the player beat the shit out of their main character. Still dunno where I stand on it. Just. It was definitely interesting.

[twilightprophet]

mm ok i’m gonna talk about my day sorry for any typos

so today we made вареники at svitlana’s house. i don’t know how thats actually translated. varenyky? ok. well we went to go make varenyky at her house. and Van drove me. he’s a linguist and i know him well, we go to Polish stuff together. and he’s chill to talk to. and i wore my new skirt today; i hate skirts usually but wanted to look nice. ok not hate anymore, it turned out ok. this one girl anna, she complimented me on it, that was nice. she’s really nice

and there’s this one dude i sorta like. his name is dexter. he’s from socal too which is cool. i wish he would talk about it w me bc i get homesick sometimes. he laughs at my jokes, which is nice of him. like one time, i forget why, he made the self-deprecating ‘kill me now’ joke and i told him only if he signed an agreement bc otherwise svitlana would blame me; he laughed a lot, it’s nice

there were 9 of us making varenyky today and dexter stood next to me. which is feat bc i stood way off to the side, but he settled next to me. he kept feeling bad about his varenyky so i tried cheering him up (i wouldve done this anyway, i think) and he laughed a lot. and we sat next to each other when we actually ate and he told me about his hometown (i wont say it here but i do know it well, its a good town imo, fave town in socal). i didnt talk to him much tho. and i didnt speak much in general, but i did get tipsy on beer lmao. i made this one joke about how after talking about socal w dexter and then hearing about indy from others, i’m sitting here thinking what i must’ve thought when picking out a uni. like i must’ve sat there and thought “man my hometown sucked a lot, but i think i can do worse. let’s try the midwest”. dexter laughed first

and later on before i left, i offered to read my est. translation of a shevchenko poem for Van so i got svitlana and read it. svitlana told me “I know you have a good Estonian accent, bc sometimes when you speak Ukr I can hear something else to it”. i find that so funny, PK tells me often how I speak Est w a Ukr accent. i let my accents do that v consciously tho; it’s not purist but it shows where my loyalties lie ig lol. but so i speak Est better when i’m tipsy so I read my poem so well, it sounded really pretty. Dexter heard it the night before and he smiled again this time. so i told him n Van some linguistic facts about Est

i went to atlas w marisa next. she invited & i never go out. we drank w her friends and marisa is nice. there was this one guy jake, he hugged me upon meeting me, what a darling. he is happily and queerly engaged, what a bae. but i didnt talk to him much when Van came, and then i sat w Van for a bit and talked about my upcoming conference and such. then he left to sit w his friends so i made to join him but jake stopped me. and we talked for so long, he’s so cute. i told him how i’m just a historian and he made me say “I am a historian” a bunch of times for the confidence boost and told me how important and interesting my studies are. he asked me about Ukr and how it formed and i told him. we hugged a lot and he held my hands and he kissed my knuckles. he’s considering moving to SD w his partner and i told him i love the city but want him to know how expensive it is; told him to reach out if he has questions about socal. i picked him up at one point and he was like wait no watch this,and just, so ever gently picked me off the ground and into a hug i am like.. i am in love w this entire being. he said ‘i love you’ a lot & told me i’m amazing. we have our own handshake. easily the best interaction of the night, i love loud queer ppl, they put me at such ease. and he was so free w his emotions. when he was leaving i rant to him for one last hug and after it he said wait no, i need one more. i have him on fb now, hopefully i see him again. he was so so nice, i’ve never had someone make me feel useful for being a historian omg

then i was back w Van and he drove me home. i told him my stories from Pol and he exchanged some too. and we had a debate about using language as an ethnic identifier and how to go about it academically, which was interesting. at least he had points to his argument. i like Van, hands down the best student linguist i know

i think that’s it ??? ok so from like 5pm onwards today was a good day

[weirdness-on-the-roof]

critical role episode 48 campaign 2 notes and funny lines post break edit:this has detailed notes on all the stuff that happened later in the episode including physical descriptions near the end. enjoy ya nerds

don’t steal the books from a high powered mage; don’t kill the dude; beau turning into cad; look at beau planning for the future

-------

is marisha flirting with matt via matt playing yasha and beau flirting with yasha?

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‘tea the international language’ but no earl grey

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wensworth the goblin

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coming from Cad ‘im a fine tea maker’ is kinda a threat tbh

-------

elf that isn’t white/European??? yay! also really old elves are cool

-------

beau and cad tag teaming a political chat with a mage this can’t end poorly

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Nott: :beau ruins every situation shes in and is very abrasive

-------

send the freaking cat!!! why not?? caleb my dude

-------

god i miss allura and gilmore currently

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fucking fuck don’t lie to the mage beau plz stop this is painful ‘you’re not wrong’ sure blame the ancient sea god

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‘on the verge of returning’ yea no duh you let him out 2/3 of the way so fjord could get a spell

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‘we found a thing’ so smooth and eloquent beau ‘it was presented to us as the happy fun time ball’

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‘butter fingers with magical items’

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beau getting a geography lesson from a very old powerful elven mage

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‘magical geometric orb that has the ability to bend time and space and fate’ which is kept in a hot pink magic bag that happened to ‘fall into [their] lap’

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‘if youre down im down is what im saying... i have a few slots open in my loyalty bank if you’re willing to pay rent’ says the 20 some human who punches things to the centuries old wizard ‘

-------

liam stress eating

-------

cad’s hope in the group is heartwarming

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tower metaphors and a conversation!!!

-------

caleb reading shitty romance novel and nott eating a fish outside a mage’s tower in the morning sunlight in a major city

-------

caleb takes the rear

-------

first name drop and a while

-------

holy shit 200 years of magic using

-------

cad explaining materialistic nature of the rest of the party to elf dude is hilarious

-------

teleportation circles?????? in return for access to the sphere!! oh shit thats good

-------

or candy

-------

crap. no one has insight checked this dude and they gave him the happy fun ball and made a deal kinda.

-------

‘how do we prove our loyalty?’ ‘by not fucking me over’ sounds like a good plan

-------

is this guy just caleb’s patron now on the low idk this is how my head works and he said learn

-------

“you have a geometric shape that makes babies?” “yea they talked about that”

-------

fjord just kills the dude

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‘i got banishment on hold just in case’ *cackling laughter*

-------

i agree with elf dude, him not knowing anything about the dodecha is more concerning than him knowing about it

-------

ALL THE CITIES FROM CR1 MENTIONED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! I STILL MISS ALLURA AND GILMORE

-------

good to know the pink bag protects from divination on this plane but just this one

-------

jester and the traveler figurine

-------

cad included the Traveler in the ‘chaotic forces’ i still think the traveler is some kinda arch fey evil things idk its real late here and this is incoherent

-------

‘well, thats been my morning tea‘ 

-------

caleb getting additional tour

-------

good aesthetic for the room tbh

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letting weird people in for morning tea is entertainment is a mood and something i strive to be able to do without getting murdered one day

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so yasha and caleb both have gotten the ‘stay with friends’ chat from a powerful being which is nice. but also the ‘use who you need to’ going to caleb is vaguely concerning

-------

personalized biscuits [bourbon, cinnamon, lobster, fish and three unknowns]

-------

‘caleb, what happened in there?’

-------

cad not believing caleb’s bullshit and opening doors for caleb warms my heart

-------

‘if this isn’t the death of us, and if not hes a good ally. somethings gonna be the death of us so [yolo]’

-------

‘you can’t bullshit everyone in this world’

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cad talking about beau telling the truth: ‘you’re not very good at it but you tried

-------

jester looking out for nott and her home town

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caleb and beau being cute while also giving each other shit is the most sibling like thing

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omg going back to allfield that was so long ago for fucks sake BRYCE my person thank god

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jester had a boy band phase its cannon and i think the girls had a sleepover in jester’s old room. also marion never leaves the hotel. THE RUBY NECKLACE MY HEART AND THE HONEY AWWWWW

‘the army of men and women and inbetween that will do as i want them to’ god i adore her being protective of jester

-------

also the fact matt makes such a good mom why is he like this

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travel time!!!! ‘roll for initiative’-tal

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how does matt keep these notes so organized and remember all the npc names

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the ranger/beast master in Laura is coming out with nugget

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caleb is a devout cat person and jester is the definition of a dog person

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nott refining oil on a magical moving cart, while jester reads a romance novel and trains a dog,

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Dyren- Beau’s roommate at colbot souls; ‘taught beau lots of really cool things’ got sent to a warfront. shaved head, dark clothes, buff b/c ‘been workin out’, ‘do you love her?’ they had ‘good times’, then literal booty call, and dropping locations, Dyren was in Bladegarden. ‘fierce eyebrows, pointed nose’

                    OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES

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Vandren info drop to Fjord ‘he was making amends’

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Dyren responded and was hurt in Bladegarden but is safe. Beau looked immediately worried and happy about jester’s imput [’sounded way into you’]

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empire kids chat and caleb admitting insecurities about powerful people and being scared about the consequences of his actions and the group’s actions. caleb is scared about being forced to leave for safety and being ‘flayed alive’. my thoughts are he would leave if he became a threat to the others by being there or vise versa. trent would extort that b/c hes a dick

“caleb, unfortunately, you don’t get to choose who cares for you” you’re fucking correct Beau

“the problem with friends is that you have to care for them”

walks away “wow cool caleb! see- jester thinks you’re cool because shes your fucking friend!”

me too Tal “everything i like about those two characters in one conversation”

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5 years since Caleb left Trent and crew ie had a nervous breakdown

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gustav left town after being freed and trostenwald now has a WV accent that is too familiar

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100 extra soldiers in allfield. bryce is still up and kicking and wonderful. stuff ‘got this far east [quickly]’. the attacks came from underground apparently so fuck. the fields were burned, building destroyed a bit then they [Xhorhasians] left

“good thing is they’ve already been attacked so lightning doesn’t strike twice” oof thanks bryce

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beau just dead ass asking for illegal writing statements

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fjord having a thank u jesus bryce moment

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jester giving cad a pretty present is ‘so exciting’ and precious

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Cad not knowing cookbooks were a thing!!! and not being utterly literate enough to understand it

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wtf happened to liam’s voice in the ‘main export is oysters’ thing

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FELDERWEN!!!!!

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a dozen squads of 50 ppl each patrolling felderwen area so rippppp

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Nott knows where the halfing’s house is.... interesting... and is heavily drinking

-------

BLUE FLASH

elven woman in fine clothes of green and black ----lady vest durogna the arch mage of antiquity serboros assembly

a male figure in deep blue robes, older pale elf, fine clothes, the flash came from him----- martinette luden’th de____ arch mage of domestic protection

CALEB KNOWS THEM BOTH FROM THE ACADEMY AHHHHHH

he just lays flat and hides in the cart internally: ‘nopenopenopenope’

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several burned buildings, a warehouse, an inn, apothecary and several houses

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ohhhh shit the halfling was the owner of the apothecary and nott was looking for the shit she had been sending back this whole adventure....... im sad now that was confirmed

havent found a body of yeza

luke is yeza’s son at old edith’s house

            halflings only produce halflings according to something i read at some point but forget where sooooooooo

shattered vials and materials and house stuff

CHILDREN'S TOYS

locked basement which nott knows of?? Nott is anxious and impatient when the door doesn’t open. jester fails, yasha rages and at a 19 and doesn’t break the door. ‘it wasn’t [trapped]’ but dispel magic worked to open it.

a 15′x15′ room, tossed ‘not like you remember’ to nott, a 2x3 iron chest. a single chair in the center of the room. definitely a struggle with heavy impacts and blade scratched on wall

             nott was the torturer from the goblin tribe

chair was placed in the spot after the struggle

this was where he [yeza] kept chemicals according to nott

poisoned iron locked box (dull black glass)  inside a retractable silver tripod to hold something atop it, 3 empty vials 1 full one with a liquid/gas fog like dull colored thing, a pile of destroyed notes [two pieces of still legible paper which have props]

            dunamous field, causes ppl slow to be slower or faster, ‘captured crin operatives’ dunaments and dunamacy, origon gliffs, exist outside established schools of magic, theory in deeply rooted in arcana taken for granted, rooted in _____ town, 12-16 months to refine, word has found me that trent’s kiddos have knacks for this things, dreams are thrilling

well shittttt

            crin on battle fields, ‘breaking fields of fate, fuck the raven queen

SHIIIIIT

a piece of dunemous

dodecha goes in tripod according to beau

chair facing chest

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cricks did this apparently

a little under 100 crowns guard killed, 4 civilians burned

soldiers just ‘slowed down’ 

left via tunnels and collapsed them behind them

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nott dont be a bitch and don’t get mad at caleb and call them ‘his people’

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cad picks up caleb and ‘youre not at fault here, youre the solution here. don’t let her anger... its not about you’

my HEART

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the chest is too big for the haver sack but fits in lorenzo’s bag of holding

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people have entered and exited since the attack and left the chair and stuff

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lots ‘o chairs

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nott needs to see ledith and uke (?) and not flip the fuck out

‘humble hobble’

nott looked like halfling plump face, braids, tan skin

edith- human older, grey hair, beady eyes, ever present smile like face

          LUKE IS HER SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CANNON

         *edit- rewatching this and seeing ever one’s faces “wheres my son?!” particularly laura/liam/travis just hurt. liam just looked up after a second and travis did his face he does and laura just stiffened and eyes and hand to face. caleb/liam who knows just hugs himself the rest of the convo. marisha is note taking and fuck the video off now

about 5 yrs old, blue eyes, tan/light brown skin, halfling

gave him the doll of the king

IM GONNA CRY NOW BYE

‘HES PROABLY DEAD NOW TOO LIKE I THOUGHT YOU WER’

yenza locks him away when ‘the mean lady comes by’

mean lady has pointy ears and comes often, luke was kept in room, luke was pushed out of the house and told to go somewhere safe so he ran to edith’s house and ‘everything was on fire’

‘im not strong enough to come back yet but know that [im stll thinking of you and i send things] and i hope dad sends them to you.“ fuck my heart

“in my heart i think he is” “well don’t die”

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the elves are gong to the ruins of yenza’s house

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marisha looked so betrayed

tal ‘i was waiting for the riegel shoe to drop’

WOW

HEY CALEB- WOOOW

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we’ll pick up hiiiere

fuck you sam and matt and everything abou this my heart is just FUCKKK

ummm so enjoy the frantic poorly taken notes <3

[amyjade-xo]

…from time to time in life, you must reevaluate everyone and everything; like work you must demote, promote, or expunge… even when i was (still am) sick, in and out of the hospital, working, making moves… and no one was there for them, i still loved them extra to make up for that loss, to make up for the support they lacked, the support they should have had… they made me suffer, they schemed and stole, they made me take the hits, they made me eat choices they already had planned out for me, they didnt even give me a choice… i just had hoped they learned, that they didnt take my suffering in vain, especially when everything ive done, ive done for them, the betterment for all; even over myself… it didnt matter as long as everyone was good, to make lives easier… i truly wanted them to finally be happy; but over time i realized you cant want something more for someone than they want for themselves… i literally gave my soul, my life, my everything, bent over backwards, plus more… i fed them, clothed them, gave cash, paid their bills and others, made sure they dont go empty, gave them everything and anything, guided them, supported them, and loved them when they couldnt love themselves… but where were they when i needed them most? where were they for birthdays? holidays? celebrations? when i was sick? when their own ppl hurt me? when i needed help? when im sad? how about to just chill? to eat? how about hmu for happy events, not only when they needed something or someone to clean up messes… i never needed anyone nor ask, but it sure wouldve been nice knowing ppl had my back when i never hesitated to have theirs… you try to forget and forgive so much, that theyll take that for granted; they learn to believe its okay “she can take another hit, and another, and another, and so on” …at least i can move on knowing i did my absolute best when they didnt deserve 1%… you were 100% selfish when i was 110% selfless… for years, you did what you werent supposed to and chose to not do things you should have… but thank you, thank you for letting me learn what i want, dont want; and what i do, and dont deserve… in the end, i judge myself, i judge for the stuff i put myself through, and who i allowed in my life… it wasnt even my job, my responsibility, nor did i owe anyone that loyalty… for the longest i couldn’t forgive others… but reality is, i realized i couldnt forgive myself. i allowed it. i let them use me. i let them lie to me. i let them do that to me. i let them… and now i need to take accountability. i want to heal. i want to smile again. i want to laugh again. i want to live again.♡ #ToThoseIExpunged #IfTheShoeFits #IDontWantToBeSilencedNoMore #YoullNeverKnowHowMuchICried

[redriivers]

          what’s up demons it’s ya girl kit, back at it again with a second trash baby, new and worse than ever ! you’ll find some information about lysander under the cut ! um just as a fair warning this shit ended up getting a lot longer than i anticipated, pls forgive me and also hmu for a brief tl;dr if you’re not feeling like reading this monstrosity ..

*.:｡ ✧( jamie dornan , 33 , he / him ) a little bird told me that they have seen lysander rivers roaming the capital, the knight from harrenhal, and loyal to house blackwood. there have been whispers that they’re candid & disciplined. however, some would say that they’re resentful & duplicitous. may the old gods and the new gods be watching over them !

           --- tw for ; murder, death, violence, all kinds of bad things .. sorry. 

ok first off some history headcanons, because technically no one ( show- )canonically holds harrenhal: after the battle for the dawn and the big bad fighting that happens at the end of asoiaf, ser bronn of the blackwater survives and finally gets his damned castle and lordship, making him lord bronn blackwater of harrenhal, which is how ( after a few generations ) lysander ends up here

as you can probably tell by his name, lysander is a bastard from the riverlands, the natural son of lord tion blackwater, fathered on the wife of his kennelmaster, an honestly dimwitted young girl renowned more for her beauty than ... anything else

anyway when she found out she was pregnant she pretty much mcLost it and raised some hell because neither lord blackwater nor her husband were gonna want to be doing shit to make sure she and her baby were safe, so she basically tapped into westerosi call-out culture n guilt-tripped/aggressively pressured lord blackwater into ensuring lysander’s safety

of course she didn’t bargain for her own safety because like i said she ain’t that smart and pretty much figured tion would take care of her but ... once she gave birth to lysander she was ‘given back’ to her husband who, obviously enraged by her infidelity, beat her to an early grave

meanwhile lysander’s father was young, had recently come into his lordship, and was as of yet unmarried, so for a few of the early years he kinda played dad to lysander ? of course he wasn’t a great dude and mostly just had lysander taught to ride and read and fight and all that, things all young boys should know etc. but then he got married and started having real life legitimate children ?

well we all know how that goes --- this new wife was concerned lysander, as the eldest son ( although still a bastard ) might present a threat to the inheritance of her own, legitimate children and tried to talk her husband into ousting him. when that didn’t work ( listen, lysander’s a strapping young lad with an obvious talent for fighting and her own children are weak lil babies which one would you rather hang out with ) she even tried to have him killed 

tbh that was fair, he was a lowkey murderous creep even as a child, but like .. he was still blossoming ok. but he definitely did kill a stableboy for taunting him and calling him a bastard, it was a pretty ... messy affair and all, and definitely didn’t help convince his father’s wife that he wasn’t gonna murder her children to claim their birthright

lmao bad shit happens at harrenhal don’t come for me ok

so after that, for everyone’s safety but also just for his own convenience, tion sends lysander off to be a squire in the service of lord blackwood

ok so this ! is where lysander turns from smol child to Evil Man .. tbh the older her gets, the more cognizant he becomes of how shitty his situation really is, and learning about all the laws of inheritance that preclude him from the lordship he believes should be his pisses him the fuck off

especially after being not so ceremoniously kicked out of his own home where he had pretty much free reign to a place where he was a squire and beholden to some other lord’s commands, he was Not Happy

but mostly he just put that anger into his training like my dude practically came out of the womb with a sword and is damned skilled with it, but also trained in most other common weapons found in the known world. that’s just what happens when you’re a lil dude with a lot of anger and some not so savory tendencies

honestly lives to fight. was knighted by brynjolf blackwood at age sixteen, one of the youngest in the realm at the time, and having grown rather close to lord blackwood’s daughter frida, became her unofficial guard / sworn sword. honestly they were pals ok he definitely felt some loyalty towards her and her father and longs to be accepted and just

doesn’t rly know how to go about that so instead of doing what a normal person does my boy just is a reckless endangerment to most of the surrounding area. he’s furious and resentful of his position and idk just there’s a lot of anger and sadness there but it aint healthy 

so he runs off and picks fights, wants to always be the one leading the charge against outlaws or brigands. even then, he’s garnering a bloody reputation, earning him some unpleasant ( but lbr badass ) nicknames idk. some ppl call him lysander the red --- he doesn’t hate that tbh. loves the ghost of harrenhal makes him feel ~*~special~*~

 other ppl call him the blackwater bastard. he’s less happy abt that. 

definitely stabhappy. will fight a bitch.. this gets him into some trouble ok like for a while the blackwoods mind their own business and turn a blind eye to the increasingly shitty stuff he gets up to. really, they’re all too happy to have someone skilled doing the dirty work they’d rather not ( listn ok it’s good to have a mad dog on a leash ) but eventually when he seriously wounds a visiting lordling while sparring --- the wound festers, costs the young lord an arm, and rumors abound that lysander’s blade was poisoned --- there’s really no more excuses or second chances

despite an obvious bond with frida, brynjolf still sends lysander away after that ( bc he’s a lil shitstain tbh ) but what he doesn’t know is ... ooooooh it was rly frida who had him sent away, her dad just did the sending

i tbh still need to figure out exactly how old he was when this happened, but idk since then i imagine he’s mostly been making a fucking nuisance of himself in and around the seven kingdoms ? sleeping around, killing dudes, having fun. he’s a big fan of the killing dudes bit idk .. been creeping around the rainwood, the dornish marches, and more recently the kingswood. killin’ outlaws . “protecting people from outlaws” is a great way to cover up just havin fun fighting n stealing from ppl i guess. he makes a few ‘friends’ doing this too, a brotherhood of unsavory, selfish little fucks tbh but oh well, a friends’ a friend

since this everyone and half their damned household came to king’s landing, all the major roadways and passages to the capital have been teeming with outlaws and brigands hoping to steal from these lords and ladies, and right there behind them is lysander and his merry band of murderers ready to kill these thieves, then steal what they had stolen, and then lie through their damned teeth and pretend they never found shit

so yeah this whole big celebration thing is pretty lucrative for him idk he’s having fun, doing his thing, ready to either kill or die at any minute i Guess

anyway like his app says he’s loyal to house blackwood and altho he lowkey maybe still is in some ways, he’s mostly loyal to himself. he’s like a videogame character idk ready to do any kind of sidequest if u pay him enough, but he is Not a good person at all and loves him some torture tbh. can be charming when he wants to be, and goal-oriented and disciplined enough that he can easily come across as the good dutiful soldier but bish he ain’t

highkey wants harrenhal. that’s his #lifegoal but ofc that’s not super easy to achieve. pretty much impossible tbh but hey a boy can dream

so that’s lysander .. honestly if u made it to the end of this fucking thing i applaud u. what a monstrosity smh...

[mikanrulz]

random fallen angel army hcs:

On promise to meet up at specific time:

Azazel comes early, just so he could complain loudly about how you're late and all even tho you come on time.

Arakiba also comes early, but unlike azazel, he's totally all gentlemanly about it, won't even complain if you come late, and would totally lie by saying he also just arrives just to make you feel better.

Grigori comes on time, and he's totally punctual to the second and very formal about it.

Lucifer, meanwhile, would totally forget he has a promise to meet up at all. Or on the rare cases where he actually remembers, he would come so very late bcs he just couldn't be bothered to wake up at specific time.

On cooking:

azazel has a sweet tooth, and this was fine and all when he was angel, but ever since he became a fallen, it becomes a problem since it clashes with his tough goth demon image. and so he learns to bake/make desserts and eats them in private, far from the gossiping demon populace.

another reason he learns is that so whenever he's angry at Lucifer but not in the mood to fight, he serves him all kind of apple-based desserts, fully knowing that Lucifer hates apples. Just to be extra petty, he always chooses the ones whose apple scent are particularly overwhelming - just so there's no mistaking these desserts are made of apples.

Lucifer always has a rather bemused face whenever azazel does this, and Azazel takes it to mean Lucifer's actually secretly displeased, and it makes Azazel rather smug.

but the truth is, while it's nothing but truth that Lucifer hates apples, unbeknownst to azazel, he doesn't really mind it when the apples are already crushed and processed into something that does not resemble its original form.

mostly he's bemused bcs whenever azazel tries to serve him apple desserts while saying the butler demon made them, for some reason azazel always has this particular little smug smirk that he finds extremely cute (not that he would ever tell azazel this).

(also, the demon butler's loyalty is first and foremost to lucifer, so it's instantly known azazel's the one to make the desserts once lucifer asks the demons butler.)

he also rather enjoys azazel's desserts (he never tells him this bcs his gut tells him should he ever tell, azazel would actually stop making him desserts.)

needless to say, Lucifer can't cook worth a damn.

Meanwhile, Arakiba is quite an accomplished hunter, and he likes to hunt and kill his food on his own before he cooks them. he specializes in grilling meat and simple meat based soups. Azazel likes meat, so Arakiba always makes sure to hunt for more than what he needs so he could send some to Azazel's Gregor castle.

It's not that Grigori hates cooking; it's just he doesn't see a point in doing things outside his duty. Since his duty doesn't include cooking, he just never bothers to learn the art. But he does learn how to make a vegetable/fruit salad out of self defense bcs between Azazel's desserts and Arakiba's meats, someone has to remind them that immortal they might be, but they need their fiber intakes too.

On flowers:

Azazel and Lucifer totally do not see the point in them.

(Azazel tho, learns flowers language just so he could be passive aggressive when he wants to spite someone.)

Arakiba kinda likes them and often brings a bucket for ppl he likes.

Grigori only sees them as a means to an end and like, sends them for formal purposes only.

On romantic gesture:

Azazel: "If you can't live in this world, then I shall make one where you could live in."

Arakiba: "Beside you is where I want to be, even if I have to go to hell just to be with you."

Grigori: "Life is bigger than you and me, yet every waking moment, I'm choosing my confession, trying to keep my eyes on you."

Lucifer: "I don't need a world that does not have you in it." (and then he proceeds to destroy the world.)

*yes, grigori's quote comes from the song 'Losing My Religion' by Gregorian. Idk, I feel this song kinda fits him.