#I just need my crazy chicken guy to get a promotion
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madcatlad · 5 months ago
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Chicken Shaman
OK, so I'm not really a rewrite myself BUT I've been thinking about what a rewrite of the Chicken Shaman would look like.
I love the idea of him being comedy relief, but I feel like the approach to it would have to be different than a minecraft roleplay would portray him to be taken seriously. Plus a lot of the humor and chemistry comes from him being one of Jess' friends I feel, which wouldn't really work so well for an Avra or Aphia or Aphara- whatever.
I really like the darker approach people are taking to Minecraft Diaries. Considering it was previous a minecraft letsplay for kids. Because when you really think about the lore it is REALLY DARK. So I want to continue that approach.
This of course extends to the chicken Shaman. I want to see a portrayal of him that is funny but in an off-putting way. In that "is it funny haha or funny boohoo" kind of way. Like the guy is CLEARLY unhinged in the original, but make it less in a harmless portrayal, so that the reader feels as unnerved and cautious as the characters should be by him. Make it so no one is truly sure if he will harm them or not.
AND LET THIS GUY BE A SHAMAN!!! I want to see some wild rituals, disturbing practises, and ominous beliefs. Some true viking sh*t! It would also be fun if you threw in some ominous prophecies in there threw him as well! I love prophecy tropes, especially vague ones. I think it would really set the tone for all the underline evils that Aphmau was Blissfully unaware of in S1 but would soon come to face as her world gets bigger and scarier. Or perhaps just little comments that just so happen to come true mysteriously.
I don't know if it's because I am binge watching Vikings & Vikings Valhalla right now, but I really crave this portrayal. I want to see some Floki behavior from Castor (if you know, you know). I want his mannerisms to be impulsive and erratic, and scary for all who don't really know him. But then you do know him, and he's still crazy but he's still your homie, and you love-hate him.
If anyone IS doing this interpretation or has SEEN it please please tag, or reblog, or link, I NEED thisssss!this session!
(Also if there was a "Hold The Door!!!" Plot Twist with Irene and Castor or something that would be AAAHHH 🤯 If you know, you know)
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kickingitwithkirk · 1 month ago
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Paschal Moon
Summary: Jensen finds crossing the tracks isn’t always a bad thing
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Astronomer!Reader
WC: 2358
Warnings: some angst, really bad punning(sorry) divorce, cheating, innuendos, cursing, reader says shit like I do IRL 😅
A/N: 10/24-I’ve fixed the grammatical errors and expanded this part, cause you know me, I can be chatty and I've written a sequel!
Square Filled: @winchesterandbeyondbingo -midnight @spnmixedbingo -secret dating @spnaubingo -wet dream @j3bingo -camping @howbadcanitbebingo -cliche galore
*Moldavite
*divider by @firefly-graphics
*no Beta-all mistakes are mine
*photos found online
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It was Thursday night, and once again, Jensen found himself the proverbial third wheel. The Padalecki’s meant well, dragging him everywhere with them since he filed for divorce, wanting to keep him from brooding with a bottle when not with his kids.
And it wasn’t that Jensen didn’t mind socializing. It was knowing the evening would be filled with repetitive I’m sorry, and the look of sympathy that sent him straight to the open bar first for many a shot nowadays. 
Feeling the slight buzz he needed kicking in, Jensen put on his game face and, with another tumbler of liquid courage in hand, made the rounds, chatting amicably with various groups and catching up with old friends.
Things were going pretty well until some dumb fuck turned to Genevieve, loudly blurting they’d heard Danneel making the rounds with guys with more sizable assets was the reason for the divorce pissed off her moose-sized husband, who bellows shut your unprepossessing cake hole causes a momentary distraction allowing Jensen to escape out a nearby door before punching the sonuvabitch with the double entendre himself. 
Slamming it shut, he stomped to the riverside view, wrapping both hands around the horizontal guardrail and squeezing like he was wringing a chicken's neck when the simultaneous swish of fabric and a hand holding half a glass of liquid appeared.
“Looks like you could use this more than me.” 
Jensen’s eyes met those of the tall drink of water he’d noticed throughout the evening. Looking at the glass again made her laugh, “I’m not slipping you a Mickey.” Lifting it to her lips, he watched her throat ungulate as she drank and felt Jen Jr. rising to attention. “See, Peaches, I’m not some crazy stalker.” 
Jensen takes the glass and feels a spark when their fingers brush. “Thanks, I wasn’t thinking..that.” Throwing back the rest, he appreciates the liquor's smooth slide down his throat. “It’s been a pretty shitty evening.”
“Preaching to the choir, Peaches! I came ‘cause my second cousin on my mama’s side girl broke up with him, and now I know why.” She bends over and retrieves a bottle, giving Jensen a fantastic view of her breasts artfully showcased in her cocktail dress, and pops up, pointing the bottle at him.
 “That motherfucker thought he could pimp me out for a promotion! What the hell is it with people having a ring on it?” She grabs his left wrist, tilting it so the outdoor lights glint off the wedding band he hasn’t removed yet, “Acting like this means absofuckinglutely nothing?”
“Now you’re preaching to the choir. My soon-to-be ex was doing that while I was working in Vancouver and telling everyone it’s because I’m lacking.” Jensen couldn’t stop self-dissing since catching Danneel and one of his closest friends together.
“Hoooly shit!  You’re the guy whose wife runs around saying you couldn’t find her clit with a map, GPS, or fucking bullseye paint on it!” Jensen’s eyes widened at her audacity. “Hell, most gals just use a vibrator if they wanna get off that bad. And did you just admit your package is..?” She wiggles her pinky finger while refilling the glass, “Don’t get me wrong, no shame if you know how to use it.” 
She finally noticed his expression slapped a hand over her mouth and mumbled, “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry! My mouth doesn’t know how to stop once I get started. Blame it on my upbringing.” Jensen took a drink to cover his humiliation, and a stiffener for no telling what she’d say next asked, “Upbringing?”
Removing her hand reveals a guileless smile: “You know what they say, you can take the girl outta the trailer park.” Bewilderment crossed his face to her self-deprecating response. “Yeah, I’m that relative they always warned you about.”
“Little late with the warning, sweetheart.”
She burst out laughing, and Jensen found himself doing the same.
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Later
Jensen couldn’t believe it. 
In his profession, showing unscripted emotions was a sign of weakness many would exploit. Yet, here he was, a forty-three-year-old man usually in control, sitting outback of this building with a woman he’d never met before, who’d upended that control.
She was the distraction he needed before knowing it; he did something he’d never do under normal circumstances, told her everything, and got a response of, “That sucks balls, and not in a good way!”
“Kicker is; she wants alimony.”
“What a gall darn minute. You caught your almost ex doing the beast with two backs, right?” Jensen hums in response. “Peaches, I’m no lawyer, but I’d say that ain’t fucking happening,” She tips the second five-finger discounted bottle over the glass he’d again drained. “And no offense, your ex makes those whores back in Ratchet City look almost pious. Most have the decency not to fuck in your bed.”
Jensen rubbed his face, “I can’t believe I’ve told a stranger about my marital problems.”
“Sometimes it’s easier to unburden yourself to someone you don’t know.”
“I haven’t even told my family or Jared!”
“And Jared is?”
“The guy who has my back no matter what.” She ponders his response for a moment. “That’s probably why. You’re afraid that if he knows what happened, it’ll diminish how he sees you.” Jensen appeared confused. “Guys POV... if I caught my wife fucking around and saying it’s cause I couldn’t keep her satisfied in the sack, I’d not wanna discuss it either. But I know it’s,” wiggles pinky again, “Horseshit.”
“How?”
“You dress left, and I’ve never had an iPhone stand up to say hello.” Jensen struggled to formulate a coherent response. “Ahh, come on, Peaches, you know you’ve given many people wet dreams about the Ackelconda.”
“Why do you keep calling me that?”
“Cause you’ve got the juiciest peach of an ass, and I wouldn’t kick you outta bed for eating crackers,” she says, winking at him, but before he responds, they hear a booming, “Jensen!” Jared appears out the side door, walking towards them. “Fuck, man, I’ve been looking all over for you!  We need to get going; it’s almost midnight.”
“Well, pooh, and here I thought I was going to get lucky,” she says as they stand up; a ringing church bell echoes across the river twelve times. “Guess it’s time to leave the ball and head back to the pumpkin patch.” 
Walked past Jared, she nodded and was almost to the open door when Jensen yelled, “Wait!” She paused as he ran over, “You can’t leave this way. I don’t even know your name.” She held out a hand, “Give me your phone.” He unlocked it and noticed her smirk while she was typing. “Give me a ring if you ever cross the tracks, Peaches." 
Both men appreciated her retreating form when Jared asked, “Who was that?” Jensen doesn’t answer until she disappears in the crowded room, then glances at the screen and gets his you’ve got to be kidding face.
“Cinderella.”
****
Weeks later
One afternoon, they were hanging out watching football, and Jared, tired of nagging Jensen about getting back on the horse and calling her, pulled out the big guns, telling him if he was going to act like a girl, maybe he should put on a skirt and call himself Jane.
That irked an inebriated Jensen, who fumbled his phone out of his pocket, pulled up her contact info…and chickened out again, tossing it on the couch. Jared saw her number on the screen and tapped call, knowing he risked getting kneed in the nads. Two rings later, her voice came through the speaker. 
“Peaches, you’re slower than molasses crawling uphill in January giving a girl a holler.” Hearing her voice mellowed Jensen, and they agreed to meet on Friday at a hole-in-the-wall for lunch where he wouldn’t be recognized.
That lunch became dinner. Dinner became bar hopping, and after indulging in one too many, they sneaked into Blue Hole Regional Park, went skinny dipping, and did things that would scare fish. Afterward, she takes him to a Waffle House, somewhere he hadn’t been in years, for a bowl of 4 AM chili.
****
Monday morning, coffeeholic Jensen grumpily fumbles around the shoebox-sized kitchen in her hundred-year-old farmhouse, searching for a mug while waiting on an aged percolator to finish.
Bending over to look in the dishwasher, he discovers one with a rainbow-maned unicorn flipping the bird, saying, I Run On Caffeine Sarcasm & Cuss Words.  Straightening up, Jensen bangs his head on an overhanging cabinet and finds the last two words apropos. Finally brewed, Jensen steps out onto the shady front porch, sipping on the dark roast, and sits in one of the old rockers, contemplating if he’s having a midlife crisis.
They were barely acquainted twenty-four hours before they got together, in the biblical sense. He heard Dean's gravelly voice telling him to stop being a dumbass, that he deserved this after the shellacking Danneel delivered the last few months.
What astounds Jensen is that when his heart broke harder than he knew it could, she was the solace he craved, and he began to believe it would mend with her.
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Jensen was nervous because tonight was extra special.
A few months back, she bounded into his home excited about an upcoming celestial event and field trip her astronomy class was taking. She really, really wanted him to go, even though they agreed to keep their relationship secret until he’d finalized his divorce. It struck Jensen that it would be the perfect night to do something he’d wanted to do since their first date, so he said yes while mentally making other arrangements for the night.
****
“Peaches, this isn’t the way.”
“We’re not going there sweetheart.”
“I realize that Captain Obvious! What I want to know, wtf?!  Are you trying to get me fired? I have a class...."
“That Dr. Carnegie is graciously covering.”
“Why is..what did you do Jensen?”
“I went to the head of your department,” she groaned, “And inquired if someone else could supervise because I’d planned a special night with my girl.”
“What happened to us keeping on the DL? Carnegie is the biggest blabbermouth! Everyone on the planet’s gonna know about us by morning!”
“My divorce was finalized this morning.”
“WHAT!” she indignantly squawked. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” Jensen bemusedly listened to her ongoing rant, eventually picking up her hand and kissing its back, entwining their fingers as he drove on for another hour to Inks Lake State Park. “Since when do you camp out?” She asks when he pays for an overnight camping permit. “Cause the one time I asked, you gave me stink face at the mention of a tent.”
“Since the day you bounded into my home all excited and asked me to come with you. I wanted to make tonight special.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. I sincerely appreciate you compromising your creature comforts for me.” Jensen scratched the back of his head, “Well, it’s not technically camping out. I got an air mattress that fits in the truck bed.”
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“I know it’s a yearly thing, so what makes this one so special?” Jensen asked as he gazed up at the moon awash with a vivid pink hue. The question made her lift her head from the telescope’s eyepiece, and an amused expression crossed her features.
“Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson? Or do you want me to paint you like one of those French girls?” Jensen peers down at his unintentional position: one hand tucked behind his head, bowed legs splayed, one knee slightly bent, his other hand lying near the sliver of skin peeking out between his dark henley and well-worn jeans.
 “What makes this one so special?” She walks towards the truck, setting foot on the back bumper, gripping the tailgate, and hopping over it onto the mattress. “It is the moon's proximity to the earth.” She crawls forward, placing her hands on either side of his shoulders and slung a leg over Jensen’s hips, slowly sitting down. “Plus, being ultra-close, the color is so vivid that whatthehellisinyourpants!!”
Jensen quickly sits up, about to grab her waist so she doesn’t hit the sidewall, but she scoots down his legs. “That’d better be a sex toy in your pants and not Peyronie’s disease.” Jensen gave her a bewildered look. “What can I say? I like your cock as is. Curves just right for my pleasure.”
“Your mouth is gonna be the death of me..” “..but what a way to go?”
Jensen flopped on his back, groaning, “This isn’t how I imagined tonight going.” She smiled and crawled back over him, “So let’s pretend we’re on set. I’ve flubbed the scene and do another take.”
“That’s why I love you,” reaching up, Jensen tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “The fact that everything that pops into my head comes flying out of my mouth?” Jensen chuckles at her question. “Yeah, I like you, just as you are.” He reaches into the pocket she sat on, pulls out a box, and opens it, revealing the ring he’d chosen. “And would be the luckiest man alive if you’d marry me.”
Taking her left hand, he slides it on her finger, feeling apprehensive at her silence. It is almost deafening, having never known her without any response. “Getting nervous here, sweetheart,” Jensen says as he sits up. "Look, I know we’ve only been together for a short time. I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way to answer right now.”
“What’s the stone?”
“Umm... it’s a Moldavite.” She gets that expression he still isn’t sure what to make of it. “I know it’s not conventional, and if you want to pick something else,” Jensen breaks off, watching her eyes fill with tears.
“You gave me this not ‘cause you’re being cheap. The stone, you knew what the significance of its origin would mean to me.” She cupped his cheek, “You’ve never put on airs with me, never been anything other than yourself. A genuine, caring, funny-as-hell doofus with a beautiful soul and I’m saying yes!”
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Paschal Moon 2.0-coming 10/24
SPNTAGS:  @donnaintx  @lyarr24  @flamencodiva @lassie-bird  @nancymcl  @spnbaby-67 @leigh70 @b3autyfuld1sast3r
Sam/Jared: @idreamofplaid
Dean/Jensen: @thoughts-and-funnies  @stoneyggirl2  @beabutterfly987   @smoothdogsgirl @deans-spinster-witch
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samd1o1 · 3 months ago
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Hey I don’t want to comment for real bc I’m sick of arguing with people on tumblr
I just wanted to say that in that post about deadpool and wolverine’s queerness, you are like 1000% in the right. Normally I don’t feel this strongly about stuff but anyone who thinks that Disney seriously and earnestly “delivered” on deadpool (and wolverine?) being queer is delusional
I mean, I love the movie. I’ve seen it twice and giggled my way through it both times. Obviously I enjoy the queer aspect of their relationship. But what you said about being able to be critical of your favorite media is important. The fact that people are arguing that there are no issues with the gay jokes in d&w but ACTUALLY it’s all indicative of a genuinely made film about two queer men is like actually SO crazy
Thank you, yes! The movie is absolutely amazing in the fact it's funny and well written. And yes I like the gay jokes, they're cheeky and enjoyable. But I think they'd be more enjoyable if any amount of Wade's (and also Logan's) queerness was taken seriously. Even just a little seriously.
I think the part that annoyed me about the movie most was Wade breaking up with Vanessa. Yeah it works for the movie and his character development. But at the same time I can't help but assume the reasoning for it was so queer people could go "hey they're both single, maybe just maybe Deadpool and Wolverine will get together?" No they won't this is Disney. He'll probably be back together with Vanessa eventually (even if it's not immediately).
Like I said on the comments of the post you're referring to; saying this is good queer rep is just an excuse so Disney (and Marvel) doesn't have to actually try to make good representation. The MCU has had many issues like this before. The single Loki bisexual conversation only for them to chicken out on the mlm ship they were hinting at in S2 promotions. Loki also being labeled as genderfluid in promo stuff just for him to be referred to as a male Loki and such. Characters who are canonically bisexual in the comics like Starlord showing absolutely zero hints to their queerness. Eternals is the only real representation I can think of, but it felt very one note and boring. Like that whole movie.
In conclusion Deadpool is a great movie but my biggest gripe is just that the queer aspect is not taking seriously. As much as I love the Honda Odyssey scene, it would be cool if it wasn't just a weird mix of coding/bait. Queer coding is still a great writing tool. Using metaphors for queerness in fantasy can be fun. But the reason queer coding existed in the first place is because you weren't allowed to show any queer people on screen. But times have changed! You can show it, but Disney are cowards. The movie is also queerbaity as they set up things like Vanessa's break up only to start them almost back up again with Logan himself telling Wade to go for the girl. Not to mention all the promotional posters like Deadpool and Wolverine as Beauty And The Beast. Disneyland Deadpool is also being VERY heavy on the gay jokes, which makes me feel like they KNOW who their main target audience was gonna be with this movie, but they still need to cater to the movie dudebros as well. Maybe one day guys, maybe.
It's important to be critical of even your favorite media. If you weren't then it could never improve. Let your voices be heard! And to the people who think movies don't deserve such debate; why do you think that? So many people say that so they don't have to discuss representation in media but then turn around and rant about the comic accuracy. Also what do you think happens in a writers room? Criticism is important in media even to professionals. A movie is a group effort, many people had different ideas that eventually came together and made Deadpool 3. They also probably had many ideas that were shut down and not put in Deadpool 3 for various reasons. Some most likely being criticisms.
Ok I'm done ranting now. Deadpool 3, great movie, one of my favorites. But it would have benefited not only itself by being true to Wade and Logan letting them be their authentic queer selves; But it also would have benefited the queer community.
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draculas-secret-blog · 2 months ago
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Pick my next fic
Hey! Decided I’d write some fics for the borderlands fanbase, figured I would let you guys choose what comes first! (They’ll have short little blurbs with more info under the cut if you want some!)
Rhysothy- I have a tftbl alternate au where news doesn’t get out that Jack is dead and that the Hyperion board has decided it would cause less issues for the company to bring in a body double. When Rhys gets the promotion he deserves and ends up working right under ‘jack’ he starts to notice that some things are different about the guy.. for one he’s absolute trash at programming and hey wait.. when did his eyes switch colors?
TLDR: Timothy is a shitty jack double
Gaigel- finding out that Angels mom was likely a Jakobs thanks to borderlands 3 i have cooked up a sweet au to go along with my living!angel one. They’ve been off planet for a tiny bit, Angel just needing to get as far away from pandora and euridium as humanly possible. They loop back for their annual check in with the crimson raiders and suprise! They get a wedding invite.. a little bit late and a little bit blood stained. Wait, huh? Why is it adressed ‘my dear niece Angel’? And why does the rsvp have the Jakobs gun manufacturer emblem?
TLDR: Gaige never asked her girlfriend her last name, whoopsie
Moxxi/Tannis- I think they should make out and that it would be totally cool and stuff.. just saying. Maybe it can even be a pre sequel fic as a treat with some canon divergence and a dash of ‘I have two kids and my crazy ex boyfriend and my family are trying to kill me. We should raise these kids together’
TLDR: Milf Moxxi and her Antisocial nerd girlfriend, yippie!
Mordibrick- Tina had her fake wedding, hammerlock and Jakobs had their real one.. Maybe it’s time that Mordecai and Brick get married too. I mean, they are dating, right? They established that clearly, right? They haven’t just been coparenting for years on accident while everyone just assumed they were gay. Totally not. And this wedding was totally not a surprise to them at all.. totally not.
TLDR: the game of gay chicken went too far in this one
Axton/Salvador: have not played their DLC yet, don’t kill me, BUT they give me old married energy when they call my echo. Like they’re trying to invite me over to have dinner with them or something. Anyways they flirt and narrate their shitty little death race and then light stuff on fire and flirt some more. Maybe claptrap gets bullied a little (a lot), we’ll see what happens. maybe a surprise Gaige cameo
TLDR: those two old guys kiss, the end.
Axton/Zed: this is the most original thought I think I have ever had personally. This au is inspired by two things: 1, my loyalty and parasocial friendship I had with Zed during my Gaige playthrough and 2, that one au here on tumblr of Axton being Gaiges adopted dad. I think Gaige trying to set Axton and Zed up together and Zed using his medical malpractice and four braincells to flirt would be great
TLDR: someone kiss that dilf with the silly little gun robot!
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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago
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𝑴𝒂𝒇𝒊𝒂! 𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛: 𝑯𝒆𝒍𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝑶𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚
Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging or promoting mafia behavior or lifestyle. This is simply a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.
❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰
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"Ok ok stop fussing now. I'll get you out now."
Hongjoong walked over to the portable crib and picked up his son who was currently whining and kicking his legs around, hating being cooped up inside the contraption for too long. Hongjoong picked him up and looked at him.
"You know, not even the people we lock up in solitary confinement complain as much as you."
The baby reached his tiny hands out, gently patting at his father's nose and cheeks, making Hongjoong chuckle.
"Then again none of them have ever been half as cute as you are. It's a crime to be this cute. I should punish you."
Hongjoong nuzzled his nose against his son's, causing the baby to let out a happy squeal. A tiny buzz let Hongjoong know Yunho was calling him.
"Hey Hongjoong. Your boss is on the line."
Hongjoong rolled his eyes at Yunho's teasing, always saying how you were the real boss. Putting the baby down so he could crawl as he liked, Hongjoong picked up the phone.
"Hey honey." He greeted you.
"How's the baby doing?" You asked.
Hongjoong got a deadpan expression.
"Well hello to you too Mrs. Kim, I'm fine too thanks for asking."
Hongjoong was so concentrated on your conversation he didn't realize the door was open and the baby inadvertently went out.
"He's fine don't worry. And he's no trouble at all, he's currently crawling around my office-"
Hongjoong abruptly stopped when he realized the baby was gone.
"Hongjoong....? What's going on?"
He could hear you getting ready to scold him if anything happened to your child. He stammered as he began looking around for him. A beep on the other line let you both know someone else joined your call.
"I think an enemy spy has infiltrated our base, but honestly, I don't have the heart to fight back." Yunho's voice was followed an incoherent babble, belonging to none other than your baby.
"Oh my God! Yunho is he with you?" You were relieved to find out the baby was ok.
"Yep, and although I'd usually send out a ransom note, I think I'm keeping him hostage for a while." He chuckled.
Hongjoong fumed as he walked out of his office.
"Heck you will! Give me back my son!"
❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪
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Seonghwa peeked his head into the room, 7 pairs of eyes staring at him intently. Hongjoong sighed softly.
"You're late." He told him.
"Sorry. Got caught up with something." Seonghwa apologized.
"Whatever. Just get in. You haven't missed much of the meeting." His leader assured him.
Hongjoong was about to resume speaking, but he, like the rest of the members watched as Seonghwa opened the door and went to take his seat, a baby carrier on his left hand with his baby daughter inside.
"Night light!" San exclaimed the nickname they all had for Seonghwa's daughter.
"Night fury got stuck with babysitting duty?" Yeosang raised an eyebrow.
Seonghwa glared at him, about to say something but was stopped by Hongjoong.
"Guys! Meeting! Focus ok?"
Hongjoong began talking once again, detailing about a government cargo ship that was soon to land in the city, containing secret weapons.
"Now, if our information is correct, it'll get here in-"
A soft and subtle sneeze interrupted him, followed by a chorus of 'aaaws' and 'ooohs'.
"She's the deadliest weapon ever!" San clutched his heart.
"Yeah! Who can resist that level of cuteness?" Mingi agreed, crouching down to poke her tiny nose.
"I know! Isn't she adorable?" Seonghwa beamed with pride at his baby.
"Guys, remember? Timeline-" Hongjoong tried to get their attention again.
"Has she started talking yet?" Jongho asked.
"No not yet. But she's babbling a lot more, mostly songs in movies or cartoons though." Seonghwa explained.
"Ooooh! Can she do the banana song?! Night light! Watch uncle Woo."
Wooyoung began singing the minions song, not really getting a reaction out of the baby and further causing Hongjoong's annoyance to spike up.
"One more interruption and I'm shooting you all in your legs!"
They all stayed quiet, not wanting to further anger their leader. Hongjoong let out a sigh of relief.
"Now, as I was saying-"
"Ba ba ba, ba na na." The baby interrupted him as she tried to sing the song Wooyoung was previously singing.
They all stared in shock and adoration at her.
"Ok, that's actually fucking cute." Hongjoong admitted.
Seonghwa only giggled as he picked up his daughter and kissed her cheek.
❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸
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Yunho tried shushing the whimpering baby underneath his desk.
"Buddy come on. You're going to get me in trouble. Now shush."
Having no alternative, he picked up his baby son, cradling him in his arms as he tried to keep him from making anymore noise. He cooed at him and even made funny faces, but the boy didn't seem to calm down.
"Why are you being like this?" Yunho pouted.
The baby nuzzled his face against his father's chest before opening his mouth against it. Yunho immediately pulled the baby a few inches off him.
"Ok I get it now. You're hungry. Please don't do that again. My body doesn't work like your mom's."
Setting the boy back in the carrier, Yunho reached inside the baby bag and got out the bottle and baby formula. He quickly mixed them together, careful not to spill any of it on his desk. He looked around and realized he had absolutely no idea how he was going to heat it up. When the baby began fussing again, he quickly stooped down, trying to quiet him down.
"Uhhh Yunho?"
Yunho hit his head as he quickly stood up, looking at Yeosang who was right in front of him with a folder. Yeosang noticed the baby bottle in his hand and snorted.
"Is that your new guilty pleasure?" He teased.
"I'm not in the mood Yeosang. In case you haven't noticed, I sneaked him in."
Yunho picked up his child and rocked him in his arms, trying to stop his crying.
"Hi junior." Yeosang waved.
Scanning the baby, Yunho and the bottle, Yeosang ended up deducing what was going on.
"Give me the bottle, I'll heat it up for you." Yeosang offered, taking the bottle away from him.
"You will? Thanks Yeo. I'd really appreciate it." Yunho thanked him.
"No problem..." Yeosang looked at the bottle, studying its structure and model.
"I kinda want to try out the new fire weapon I created and this might just be the perfect test subject..."
When he heard those words, Yunho quickly stopped Yeosang.
"A microwave will do Yeosang! Don't fucking use my son's bottle for one of your weird experiments!"
Yunho gasped when he realized he cussed in front of his kid.
"Don't tell your mom."
❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰
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Yeosang carefully weighed the powder into the brown paper bags, careful not to go above the amount he needed. His eyes trailed to the tiny hand that tried reaching up for the contents he had.
"No no no sweetheart. Don't touch anything."
He put what he had in his hands down and picked up his daughter, setting her down and making her rest on top of a stack of books he had.
"Ok. Here you go. Play with this. Your mom says you like it." He handed her the rattle that was shaped like a chicken leg before going back to concentrate on his task.
The baby shook the rattle a few times before becoming bored with it. Instead, she was fascinated by all the intricate colors and strange devices inside her father's laboratory. Looking next to her, she saw a display of assorted test tubes that had different liquids in them. Curiously, her hand reached out to grab the red colored one. At that moment, Yeosang had finished weighing the stuff out and placed them in a container. When he looked back, he saw his daughter pulling out the test tube.
"No don't touch-"
Yeosang quickly scooped the baby up and covered her with his body as the tube fell to the floor, not only splattering the contents, but immediately setting off a tiny explosion that spread a horrible smelling gas in the air. Yeosang covered his daughter's face as he quickly got them out of the room. At that moment, Jongho came running down the hall.
"What was that?!" He immediately asked.
"One of the test tubes I was working on." Yeosang explained, as he scanned his daughter to make sure she was all right.
"Seriously Yeosang?! We've told you time and time again to be careful! How did it even happen?"
Yeosang immediately turned to his daughter, who was merely sucking on her thumb, looking at him with the most innocent eyes ever.
"You're lucky it was one of the least deadly ones and I got you out of there in time. Otherwise we'd both be laughing ourselves to death." Yeosang chuckled at her and kissed her forehead.
Jongho shook his head.
"I swear to god, if your daughter becomes another crazy scientist like you, I'm joining another gang."
❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷
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The diminutive man strolled from one corner of the alley to another, sighing as he stared once again at his watch.
"Where the fuck are they?" He shook his head, hating people being late above anything else.
Finally hearing footsteps, he saw the two figures approach him. He smiled contentedly until he saw that one of them had a baby strapped to his chest.
"All right Changbin, we got the money now where's the drugs?" San asked, not yet giving him the bag of money.
Changbin looked at San, then back at the baby boy.
"Don't look at the baby, look at me." San gestured to his eyes.
Changbin raised an eyebrow at him before looking over at Wooyoung, who looked completely unfazed.
"Just don't even question it man." Wooyoung suggested.
Changbin hesitantly got out the package from his coat. He was about to hand it to them, but he stopped when he looked at the baby again.
"Don't look at the baby, look at me." San repeated himself.
"Look man! It's just feels completely unorthodox to make illegal transactions in front of an innocent baby ok?! Did you kidnap it or something?" Changbin scanned him.
San scoffed in offense.
"This is my kid! Can't you see the resemblance? He's as handsome as me."
Changbin raised an eyebrow.
"You're seriously bringing your kid.... you know what? Never mind."
Changbin opted for giving the package to Wooyoung and then taking the bag of money.
"Pleasure doing business with you."
San waved at him when he departed. As him and Wooyoung made their way back to the car, his son started babbling something incoherently. San looked down and patted his head.
"Yes I know he's a mean, grouchy dwarf. Don't worry about him."
❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲��𝓰𝓲
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Mingi sat down on the stool in front of the bartender, setting down the carrier on the chair next to him.
"I'm here." Mingi told the man who had his back turned.
"Oh Mingi you've come. Tell me what can I get-"
The pink haired man stopped when he saw the baby and pointed at her.
"Just give me my usual and don't worry about her. She's covered."
Mingi opened his trench coat and took out a baby bottle before taking the baby out of the carrier so he could feed her.
"You got the info Hyunjin?" Mingi lowered his voice.
Hyunjin rolled his eyes as he prepared him his drink.
"Mingi you brought a baby inside a bar. Forget trying to avoid unnecessary attention, everyone is already looking at you weird."
Mingi looked around, noticing a couple people staring at him as if he was crazy.
"Oh...right."
Hyunjin set the drink out in front of him before pulling out a folder and sneakily handing it to Mingi.
"Even got a few of the members' names gathered for you. Don't be fooled by their small numbers. These guys are very deadly and are slowly gaining momentum in the criminal world."
Mingi nodded and stuffed the folder in his coat. At that moment, his phone started ringing and he panicked when he saw who it was.
"Do me a favor. Hold her and cover her ears."
Hyunjin obeyed and cringed when Mingi fired a gun at the roof.
"I'm gonna need all of you to be quiet for a minute or else I'll put a bullet in your heads."
Mingi then quickly answered the phone, suddenly changing his tone.
"Hey baby. Oh nothing. I'm with Seonghwa, he wanted to see the baby.....no! I'm most definitely not working at the moment." He laughed awkwardly.
Hyunjin shook his head and looked down at the baby girl in his arms.
"Mind sharing some of your milk with me? I think I need it."
❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰
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"Wooyoung? Do you see the target?" Yeosang's voice echoed through his ear piece.
Wooyoung casually tilted his head to the side.
"No. There's too many people. " Wooyoung answered casually.
He looked down when he heard his daughter sneeze.
"Bless you." Wooyoung cooed at her.
"I'm literally trying to put a bullet through a man's head and you're giving me your blessings?" Yeosang asked.
"Not you idiot! My princess just sneezed and-"
"Oh my gosh! What a lovely baby you have!"
Wooyoung turned to find a young woman standing in front of him, twirling her hair in her finger as she looked at him and his daughter.
"Thanks..." Wooyoung answered.
"Is she yours?" She asked, stepping closer to him, reaching her hand out.
"Yeah...mine." Wooyoung shifted in his seat, moving the baby so she wouldn't touch her wandering hands.
Wooyoung tried not to cringe as the girl didn't seem to get the hint and continued talking to him.
"Want me to put a bullet in her head?" Yeosang offered.
Wooyoung immediately declined the offer as quietly as possible, not hearing what the girl said until she repeated herself.
"I asked if there was a mom in the picture."
She tucked her hair behind her ear before sitting down next to Wooyoung, her hand brushing on his shoulder.
"Cause if not.....I could help out in more ways than one." She bit her lip.
Before Wooyoung could even respond, he was saved when you suddenly showed up.
"I'm giving you ten seconds to run before I pull the trigger."
The girl froze when she felt a gun pointed at her back. Wooyoung waved.
"Hi honey." He smiled.
"Don't 'honey' me. First you take our daughter out on a mission and then I find some skank trying to take my place?" You scoffed.
"Should have taken my offer when you had the chance." Yeosang poked fun at him.
❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙����𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸
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Jongho kept his eyes on the road, occasionally looking at the rearview mirror to check on the little boy in the baby seat.
"Getting sleepy there buddy?" Jongho chuckled when he saw the baby's eyes open and close slowly.
"Don't worry. After we deliver this package, I promise I'll take you to get ice cream......just don't tell your mom I've been feeding you that before you're old enough."
Jongho began to sing softly, hoping it'll help the baby sleep faster. However when he looked at the rearview mirror again, he noticed a strange looking car tailing right behind him.
"Huh....strange..... very strange."
Jongho gripped the steering wheel tightly. Looking back at his son, he noticed he was now fully awake.
"Buckle up buddy cause we're in for a fun ride."
Shifting the gear, Jongho immediately pressed down on the accelerator before rapidly making a u-turn, momentarily confusing the car behind him. Jongho drifted through the different alleys, hoping to loose the car, but it still seemed to catch up to him. His son on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the fun ride.
"Oh shit." Jongho cursed when he saw you were calling.
Pressing the button, he answered your call.
"I just got off work, barely going back. Think you can handle the boy for a little bit longer?" You asked.
"Take all the time. I'm going to be late too."
Jongho made a rather sharp turn that had your son squealing excitedly. You immediately sensed something was off.
"You're on a mission aren't you?"
"Yeah and we kinda ran into some chasers." Jongho chuckled rather amused.
You sighed softly.
"Where are you?"
"Gangnam district. Near the old abandoned factory." He answered as he continued trying to loose the car behind him.
"Give me 5 minutes and I'll be there."
Jongho couldn't help but bite his lip at your words.
"God baby, I love you so much."
He then turned his attention to his son who was still having the time of his life.
"Hear that bud? Mommy is gonna be joining us soon."
Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.
1K notes · View notes
thera-daydreams · 3 years ago
Text
PLUS ONE
》 A TRESE TWOSHOT 《
[Maliksi x Reader]
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📝 Summary: In which your beloved best friend snatches you from your apartment at dawn asking you to be his plus one for his cousin's wedding. Unbeknownst to the clueless you, everything is just going according to Maliksi's ultimate masterplan. With the help of friends and family, the Prince of the Tikbalang finally gets the girl he's been longing for. And oh, Señor Armanaz gets his dream daughter-in-law and the promise of grandchildren within the year.
📌 Warning: May contain some slight NSFW for spicy suggestiveness and cussing. No smut or anything super SPG—this girl can't write that for her life—but just be prepared. It's Maliksi we're talking about. We've got friends-to-lovers, obliviousness, pining, fluff, and a tikbalang simp. Figure it out. 😃
(word count: 7,454) ♥︎ Part Two: ?
》 AUTHOR'S NOTE 《
Not an Inday spinoff, but a lengthy oneshot in celebration of this blog getting 90 followers. Just ten more to 100, yay! Thank you so much for the love and support, everyone. I also promised that I'll be making this brainrot that @binibiningbabaylan and I have fangirled over a few days ago (find the original post here) when I finished the latest chapter of Inday. Here it is! 🥰
Before I forget, I was also inspired by the cute fic made by @crispybasil titled "Sunshowers" and the "Trese Boys As Things My Guy Friends Do" made by the amazing @smolla-than-a-bug (I bow down to your wonderful works in the Trese fandom). I definitely see Maliksi to be the type to go on spontaneous roadtrips and be the boyfriend to drive you around eveeeerywhere (while also driving you crazy). 🚘
There are also some songs mentioned throughout this work. You should probably listen to them while reading for the full experience. Ending was somewhat rushed but eh, I'm too exhausted and I've rewritten it too many times. Also, if someone makes some actual tikbalang smut, tag me please. Anyways, enjoy! 💕
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The way it all started was hilarious. Absolutely fucking hilarious. It happened like a blur. Literally. One second, you were snoozing in your bed. The next? You had a seatbelt on in the shotgun seat of a sophisticated-looking car. Your brain didn't even get to process it yet.
"... So let me get this straight," you grumbled, still half-asleep from your sleep marathon. You just finished a hugely successful project at work yesterday, got promoted, and wanted to make up for the restless nights you spent overtime in the office. Of course you were irritated from being disturbed. You were on vacation leave for two entire weeks, originally planning to go into temporary isolation by deactivating your social media accounts and reserving a beach cabana for yourself in Batangas.
Well, turns out, you weren't going to Batangas anytime soon. All because your unreasonably spontaneous bestfriend of ten hectic years stole you from your apartment at 2AM. Was this considered kidnapping? Was this him just being more in touch with his tikbalang side, taking unsuspecting women in their sleep and leading them to their inevitable death? (He was going over the speed limit, so it was a valid thought.) Will wearing your shirt inside-out save you today? Lord, masyado ka pang pagod para mag-isip ngayon.
"Go on."
"You abducted picked me up in the middle of the night because you want me to be your plus one at your cousin's wedding in Tagaytay?"
"Yup. And technically, the venue is right on the outskirts of Cavite going to Tagaytay," he corrected you as a matter-of-factly.
"Same thing, whatever," you huffed tiredly. "Your cousin's wedding is at 6AM today. In a few hours. In four hours."
"Uh-huh."
You groaned exasperatedly, "Mal naman, eh! You didn't even let me bring anything. Could've at least given me a heads-up a few hours ago. I'm practically emptyhanded right now save for my phone! Sinungaling ka, you said this was just a normal midnight drive—not a freaking wedding!"
The Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang, son of the Great Stallion, heir to the Armanaz herd, and the Top Drag Racer of C-5 Expressway—if that was even one of his Game of Thrones-like titles—grinned as he continued driving beside you. He let you continue ranting in the passenger seat while he mulled over his ultimate masterplan that would change his entire life later on. He was a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy, so all this wasn't his thing. But for you? He'll make plans, alright.
"Wala man lang akong dinalang masusuot o kahit konting makeup para maging presentable sa harapan ng buong pamilya mo," you exclaimed, in absolute despair. "Do you know how out of my league you are? Your rich-ass family might judge me—hell, your dad might see me as a hampaslupa if I show up there in my pambahay and tsinelas!"
"Psh, I'm not out of your league," Maliksi waved it off, smoothly turning a corner. "And calm down. We've known each other for a decade! My dad practically loves you as his own daughter. Heck, the entire family knows you and keeps telling me they want you adopted in already. Lolo Andres and Lola Perlita said they'd have the paperwork settled. You just need to sign them."
It would be even better (and easier) if you married into the family. To him, specifically (as if he'd let anyone else have you). God, he was already being so obvious in his advances, but you were just so damn oblivious whenever it came to romance. None of this needed to happen if you just got it through your thick skull that he was madly in love with you.
"That's not the point, idiot!" you slumped back into your seat, hopeless. "Do you think the bride and the groom will get offended? Shit, baka masumpaan ako kung magagalit sila, Mal. Mukha akong patay galing sa South Cemetery."
The long-haired tikbalang rolled his eyes, "Huwag kang mag-alala. Nothing's going to go wrong. Chill ka lang diyan. I've got everything under control, babe."
Babe. Yes, he even called you babe but you thought it was him being a himbo and a massive flirt. Now, it was his common term of endearment for you, but you still assumed it was him just being irksome to you and that you couldn't stop the man from saying it anymore. Thus, you let it be (the most obvious hint of his attraction to you, bestie).
"... Ugh, why didn't you ask Hannah or Amie to go with you?"
He just smiled knowingly, shrugging and making up an excuse, "Nagmamadali ako, eh. Hannah and Amie are also coming, but they already have the other tikbalang as dates."
"'Luh, ako pala ang backup choice mo?"
"Heh. Whatever you want to think."
Little did you know that you were always his first choice. Always. Even when he pursued Alexandra Trese many years ago, trying to convince himself you were just his best friend, it was always you. How did he come to that realization? Well, an international band he was a fan of released a song a couple years ago and he heard it being played in a club in BGC. The song title?
It Was Always You by Maroon 5.
Needless to say, after hearing the song and being unable to get it—get you—out of his mind at night, he stopped courting Alexandra. Unfortunately for him, that time, you'd started dating other men. Therefore, he was left on the sidelines... until your latest and most painful breakup, at least. That was five years ago. You still hadn't dated anyone since then, kind of traumatized from getting into another failed relationship like that.
In the present day, as if the fates were playing on you two, one of your favorite artists played on the radio. A very ironic song given the situation you two were in.
Best Friend by Rex Orange County.
Maliksi knew it was a favorite of yours. He knew it by the way your eyes lit up like a star brightening the twinkling night sky. Like the sun first rising in the morning at Apolaki's command. Like the moon extending its gentle rays from the magic of Mayari herself. If there was anything he wanted to ask of the old gods, it was you—everything else be damned.
"I wanna be the one that makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake," you half-sang and half-screamed happily, somewhat out-of-tune. "I can't wait to be your number oooooone! I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine—"
Maliksi glanced at you, not minding that his eardrums were probably getting microscopic ruptures from your aggressive singing. As much as he wanted to stare at you all day, he had to keep his eyes on the road. But the lyrics you were singing were wrong; the Prince of the Tikbalang was already yours from day one.
"Babe, McDo drive-through tayo for breakfast. Let me make it up to you. Gusto mo ng caramel sundae for your promotion gift? Sige. Ako bahala. Chicken nuggets din? Mabubusog ka ba niyan? I don't think they serve those this early..."
》》》
"Sandali lang!" you shouted out from inside an empty room. You'd just arrived at the venue—the Alta Veranda de Tibig in Silang, Cavite (practically the gateway to Tagaytay)—an hour or so ago. The hired makeup artist just left so that you could privately change into the outfit that had been bought specifically for you. Curse Mal and his ability to buy anything (perhaps anyone) he wanted. "Bwiset, Mal, you didn't tell me we'd be part of the damn entourage. We have to be walking the aisle in thirty minutes, simbako! You just love rushing me, don't you!?"
If only you were the one walking down the aisle today towards him.
When you exited the room, Maliksi couldn't help but let his jaw drop as he skimmed your figure, clad in the luxurious, silky satin blush midi dress he bought in one of those fancy stores in Makati yesterday. He imagined that it would look great on you, but now, seeing it on you in person... you looked divine (and frankly, he wanted to see it off your body to see what was underneath—but don't get too ahead of yourself, Mal). It was a whole 'nother level from his imagination. The deep cowl neckline and thin spaghetti straps showed your lovely collarbones... as well as a peek of your cleavage. His favorite and the best part of it all? It was backless, allowing him to gaze at the tempting curve of your spine.
He hadn't realized he had grown silent until you smiled and closed his mouth, tapping his chin.
"Lalangawin ang bibig mo, Mal," you laughed softly. Never had you seen him so speechless. You then flicked your hair back, ridiculously posing for him like you were on the cover of Vogue magazine (haba ng hair mo, gurl!). "Do I look that good? Char lang."
"... You look absolutely ravishing—I mean, uh, stunning. Hot. Yeah." That was all he could say. He mentally punched himself for not showering you with more suave compliments.
Still, your face brightened up, not knowing that the man in front of you just fell for you a thousand times harder, "Wow! Really? Damn. Ang galing talaga ng MUA na kinuha mo, ginawa akong artista. Give me their contact number later! May work event pa naman ako in two months. I'm shocked, it's like they made me rise from the dead! Even my eyebags are gone, Mal! How'd they do that?" Heck yeah, your confidence was boosted. He offered his arm to you like a gentleman, making you half-heartedly roll your eyes (you took it anyway). From holding it alone, you could tell that your best friend was a sinewy man (well, you knew that already after seeing his tikbalang form before—the little shit didn't even wear a loincloth like all his clanmates; your poor eyes were eternally scarred).
You looked him up and down. You wouldn't lie—Maliksi is and always has been an attractive man. Now? With his hair in a ponytail (pun not intended), definitely one of the hunkiest men you've ever known. "You're not looking too bad yourself, horsey."
"Ako pa!" He puffed his chest out in pride. You chuckled at his reaction.
"By the way, how do you even know my dress size and my shoe size?"
"Babe, I've known you too long. You know almost everything about me, I know everything about you."
You snorted at his confident tone, "'Di nga? You don't know every single thing about me, Mal. Assuming ka masyado."
"Alam ko nga anong cup size mo. Wala lang 'yang shoe and dress size."
You slapped his shoulder, cheeks quickly flushing red, "Huy, umayos ka! Walang hiyang tikbalang na 'to." With this guy as your best friend? You heard dirty jokes at least once a day. "Don't be inappropriate here!"
"What? It's only fair I know!" He looked down on you suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. "You already know I always go commando, so of course I know that your bra is a size—"
"Shhh! Baka marinig ka, 'nyeta."
"So? Let them hear. My best friend has a nice set of melons!" he shouted. You were grateful there was no one around. Hopefully.
"Oh my God..."
Your best friend chortled at how flustered you'd become. He led you to where some of his family was waiting, with a couple of his relatives already greeting you. You instantly and quite easily mingled with them, your worries of them not accepting you far from even true (they all knew how much their prince loved the innocent you).
"Kayo na talaga, pare?" one of his older tikbalang clanmates asked while you went away to be fawned over by his aunts.
Maliksi chuckled, crossing his arms as he watched you from afar, "Heh. Hindi pa."
Another one of his clanmates—a younger one—laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "Talaga? That's cap, bro. You two are like a married couple already and you guys still aren't a thing?"
"Ilang taon na ba kayong magkakaibigan?" the older one asked him.
"Almost ten years," Maliksi responded, a smile unconsciously pulling his lips up as he remembered your moments together. He watched you converse with his female relatives (who adored you the moment Maliksi brought you to a family event many moons ago).
The two tikbalang snickered as they saw the look on the Great Stallion's heir.
"You're down bad," the younger one said, snapping a photo of his lovestruck kuya. "You've got it so bad for her, dudeparechong!"
"Balak mong ligawan anytime soon?" the older tikbalang inquired.
"Heh. Balak ko na ngang pakasalan. Kung pwede, ngayon."
They looked at Maliksi as if he was crazy. He was very much serious, though, even if there was a huge, lopsided smile on his face. The Prince of the Tikbalang raised a brow at them.
"What? Don't give me that look. Our ten years of being best friends is practically the courting and the dating stage already."
"Eh... you're right. Don't waste anymore time. Go and marry her today, dude. Suporta kami sa'yo, basta groomsmen kami sa kasal niyo, ha!"
"Ge. Without question."
Meanwhile, on your end with the ladies of the family, they started pestering you on your love life (like all typical Filipino aunties). Chismis everywhere.
"O, iha, single ka pa ba?"
"Kailan ka magpapakasal? Malapit ka nang pumasok sa thirties mo."
"Do you want kids? How many?"
"Are you and Maliksi a couple? You look good together! Kayo na, 'di ba?"
"Will you be getting married next? Are you engaged? When's the wedding? Invite niyo kami!"
Before you could get overwhelmed by their questions, Maliksi swept you off your feet to lead you to the entourage that was lining up outside the chapel area. Again, it happened like a blur. He laughed at the partially nauseated look on your face.
"You okay there?" he asked, grinning.
"Your family thinks we're together," you muttered quietly, not meeting his eyes. You weren't sure why you felt... tingly about their statements.
He tilted his head at you curiously, gently setting you down on your feet and helping you stand.
"Do you hate the idea?" It hurt him to ask you the question, but he wanted your thoughts on it. Perhaps doing this was a bad idea. Maliksi was competitive in many things, including wanting you to be his, but if you were so opposed to it, he would never force you into something you didn't want. He let go of your hand; you didn't even notice he'd been holding it until he let go. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
Your wide-eyed gaze snapped back to look up at him, "No! No, it's not that! And... it's not bad." Your hand felt strangely empty now that his was gone. Biting your lip, you disclosed, "You're not making me uncomfortable, Mal. Don't ever think that."
With that, you shyly interlocked your arm with his, tearing your eyes from his to mask the growing warmth you felt spreading in your veins. You two didn't say anything else when the ushers let you walk down the beautiful, petal-covered aisle together.
The man beside you was starstruck. Hopeful. Maybe both of you did have a chance. Maybe somewhere in the depths of your soul, his feelings for you were being reciprocated. For the rest of the sacred ceremony in the gorgeous main pavilion, both of you relished in short, comfortable, and low conversations. He even cracked jokes every once in a while—really funny ones that made it challenging for you to you stifle your laughter.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride."
Maliksi fervently prayed to Bathala that he'd experience the same opportunity he was seeing with you someday. One day.
Even while the sun was brightly out, the sky began showering down light rain onto the land. You were in awe as you looked out the window.
"Hala, totoo nga pala! Tignan mo!" you laughed, tugging Maliksi's suit sleeve, pointing at the window.
"Na ano?" he curiously inquired, not understanding what you were referring to.
"Na kapag may tikbalang na kinakasal, umuulan habang may araw pa," you replied, eyes filled with childlike mirth and wonder. A rainbow had even begun to form by the clouds. "Look, it's magical! Ang ganda pala ng view dito kasama ang old Spanish architecture. Timeless na timeless. It's so pretty, 'no? Picture tayo 'maya, Mal."
Unlike you, it wasn't the sky outside that the prince was looking at. Amidst the loud cheers for the newlywed couple and the bubbles the guests were blowing, his vision could only focus on how magnificent you looked while being amazed. You were his best view. (Ed from 90-Day Fiancé, kabahan ka na, may katapat ka sa pickup line mo.)
》》》
"Smile for the picture!"
You giggled as Maliksi was dragged into a photo-op with the bridesmaids and the important older wedding sponsors a few feet away (funnily, he looked a little constipated around them). All of a sudden, when he was heading back to your direction, you were roughly pushed into the said man's arms. When you turned around, there was nothing (except maybe a gust of wind that came out of nowhere).
"Ooh, gotcha. Careful," the tikbalang steadied you, strong hands holding your biceps. "Natapilok ka?"
"... Huh, hindi naman," you wondered suspiciously, looking around. "I think someone pushed me? Parang tinulak ako... but wala namang tao."
"Weird. Maybe it was just the wind."
It actually was. Really. Maliksi knew for a fact that it was those two taong hangin who were spying on you from the corner, trying to pair you up. He gave them a thumbs-up while your back was turned in the opposite direction. Hannah and Amie returned the thumbs-up before vanishing. Suddenly, the two wedding photographers had moved on from the bridesmaids and were right beside you.
"What a lovely couple you two are!" she praised. Before you could correct her, she held up the black contraption she held towards you two. "Pose for the camera, lovelies!"
And so you did, the photographer guiding you two on what to do. Maliksi wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned on his side, looking sidewards to the camera with one leg cocked in front of the other. Her assistant, who was holding a polaroid camera, printed out two photos for you.
"Thank you," you told him, taking the photos from his hands then flicking them rapidly to make the images develop. You and Mal were about to walk to the reception area when the photographer stopped you, handing the male beside you a business card.
"If you two need a photographer or a videographer for your wedding, call me," she signaled to both of you before running to another guest, bringing her assistant with her.
You gawked, "Mal, did you just hear what she said?"
"Loud and clear." A grin was on his face. He seemed very pleased at what he heard.
"... How can she even tell if someone is married or not?"
Maliksi's free hand took your left hand, tapping the ring finger, "Nothing here."
"Ooooooh. I get it now." Your brows creased. "Huh. This is like the fifth time today the people here have mistaken us for a couple."
Maliksi shrugged, teasing you, "Who knows? Baka may potential tayo, babe."
Before you could ask him what he meant, he was hurriedly towing you to the reception venue. While he was doing that, you stared at the now-developed polaroid photos you were holding. Huh. Maybe you two did look like a couple.
"Come on, they're serving some snacks at the welcome reception area. Peach pie and mango float-flavored. Paborito mo, babe."
》》》
The rest of the night went by without a hitch. You were actually enjoying the event—the host was great, the food was great, the music was great. Everything was great... that was, until the games.
"Alright! Now that the bride's garter has been removed, let's have the bouquet and garter toss... starting with the females!" the host announced. "Dear bride, please stay here in front. And all single ladies—and by single I mean ready to mingle and are not married—please rise and stand here on the dance floor. Let's play matchmaker tonight, everyone!"
"Uy, single ladies daw," Maliksi nudged your side. "Sign mo na 'yan." You snorted like a pig.
"Nope, ayokong madamay sa bouquet toss," you whisper-yelled at your best friend. "Do you know how embarrassing that is?! Besides, they won't notice if I don't join! Special tactic ko 'yan sa weddings: pretending I'm not single. Katabi naman kita."
More women came to the front, making you feel assured that you didn't need to participate. The host was about to say something, when the bride interrupted to whisper something into his ear.
"Hala, halaaa! Sabi ko all single ladies, pero may isang single lady na nagtatago pa!" he announced, making you freeze. Please don't let it be you. "What's her name, beloved bride?"
"Y/N L/N." You nearly spat out your champagne. You? Did they just call out your name? How did they know?
"Oh fuck," you cursed quietly.
"'Di ka makakatakas dito, babe," Maliksi jabbed, making you stand up. "Tinatawag ka na."
"Baka may ibang Y/N L/N dito," you resisted, attempting to sit back down. "I can't do this, Mal."
"'Sus, ikaw pa. And it's just a symbolic ceremony!" he encouraged, as if he didn't have any underlying intentions. "I doubt the bouquet will go to you anyway."
Sheesh, what a big fat liar you are, tikbalang prince.
You expressed your dissatisfaction with the situation, "Bwiset, fine. I'll just... dodge it. Or evade it. God, I swear..." You calmed down, confident. "I'm not going to worry. I've never caught the bouquet at my own friends' weddings anyway."
When you were at the dance floor, Maliksi snickered, seeing the bride—his cousin—wink at him. After all, he had thoroughly bribed her earlier.
《《《
"It's about time you settled down with someone, Mal," the bride commented while he slipped her the newest Hermés designer bag filled with a bunch of jewelry (plus some bills) two hours ago, right before the reception began and while you were in the restroom freshening up. "Hehehe, this is why you're my favorite cousin."
"Do we have a deal?"
"Of course. I'll make sure she participates. I'll also try to throw it in her direction."
"Good. Thanks."
"You better invite me to your beach wedding. I can tell how much you love her."
"Not a problem. I'll even make you a sponsor."
The bride stared at her bouquet, already practicing how she was going to throw it, "Tito's going to thank me so much for ensuring that he's going to get grandkids soon, hihi."
》》》
Back to the present, on the other end of the room, Maliksi saw a familiar duo give him a sign that they were ready. Bingo. Time to execute the most important part of his plan.
《《《
"I don't care how you do it," he told the two wind elementals after he bribed the bride. "I've already instructed the bride on what she should do, pero siguraduhin niyo lang talagang lumipad sa kanya ang bouquet."
"Mmhmm," Amie flipped her hair, a hand on her cocked hip. "And what do we get in return, oh great Señorito Armanaz?"
"Sagot ko bar-hopping niyo for one month."
The two girls pretended to think about it, making Maliksi roll his eyes. He had to pull out the big guns, huh?
"Fine. Magbibigay ako ng cash deposit plus pwede niyong gamitin ang black card ko for a one-week shopping spree in Ortigas." There. Bullseye. That's what they liked.
"Deal!" they exclaimed excitedly.
Hannah let a cool gust of wind enter one of the nearby windows, testing out how they're going to do this. "Ano pa bang pinaplano mo for Y/N mamaya?"
Maliksi hummed, "Basta."
》》》
You tried your best to hide within the densest part of the group of women. The bride seemed to have her eyes on you, weirdly enough, and she looked almost feral wanting to throw her flowers into someone's face.
That someone being you. Most likely.
"Target locked on," you saw her mouth move. She positioned herself like she was about to throw a football at someone (ahem, you). Holy shit, was she talking to you? Miss ma'am, it was a bouquet toss not a bouquet throw. The bride seemed to notice this, and once more regained her elegant composure.
"3, 2, 1," the host counted down. "Go!"
Surprisingly, the bouquet flew very high into the air (it was a wonder it didn't get tangled in the ceiling decor), but quite a distance away from you. You grinned, knowing it was too far to even touch you. Squeezing through the crowd of women eagerly awaiting the bouquet, you went to return to your assigned table.
Ah, what a wonderful evening.
Sike!
Something painfully landed right into your face, leaves and flowers getting into your hair and mouth.
... Wait, leaves and flowers?
Before you could comprehend it, the bouquet dropped right into your arms. What kind of ungodly, inhuman force allowed this to even happen?
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have our lucky girl for the night!" Everyone clapped, with some—those guests you knew—even cheering your name unbelievably loud. The host approached you, a glint in his eye which you couldn't understand. "Miss Y/N, kindly sit here while we await the lucky guy who catches the garter from the groom."
What just happened?
"All single gentlemen, please proceed to the dance floor. Remember, the man who gets the garter gets to slip it onto the lucky lady's leg later!"
Oh, God. You pinched the bridge of your nose. What you'd give to be back at home or to be in that resort in Batangas you'd planned on going to for a solo vacation.
"To make this even more exciting," the host stated, handing you a black blindfold. "Our lucky lady has to keep her eyes closed until her lucky man for the night captures the bride's garter! When the music plays, only then can she uncover her eyes."
See? Humiliating, just as you expected. Still, you wrapped the blindfold around your head (albeit hesitantly). You attempted to guess who it might be, thinking of all the tikbalang friends Maliksi had introduced to you back then whenever he invited you to his clan reunions.
"Groom, are you ready?" the host asked, microphone loud and clear.
"Ready na ready!"
"Single gentlemen, are you ready?!"
"Ready na ready! Awoo, awoo!" they loudly chorused, exactly mimicking Spartans about to engage in battle. You sweatdropped in the seat you were in. This was actually kind of scary. Maybe you felt a bit objectified.
"3, 2, 1, go!"
There was a brief moment of silence, which made you concerned. Ba't ang tahimik? Then, everyone erupted into roars and bravoes much louder than when you caught the bouquet—perhaps even louder by tenfold. What the heck was happening?!
The music played. Very raunchy, spicy, babymaking music. You expected it to be the typical Careless Whisper by George Michael or Pony by Ginuwine (corny songs which you could probably laugh at, at least), but no. Nuh-uh, this was probably worse. The DJ must be pretty young, the song of their choosing being a slowed, bass-boosted, sexier remix of Earned It by the Weeknd.
Ano 'to, bold? Fifty Shades of Grey? The hell was this?
Alright. This was embarrassing. Thank the heavens there were no children at this party. From the music alone and its implications, this was strictly for adults.
You removed your blindfold (that was okay now, right?) as the guests whistled playfully. You peeked one eye open reluctantly, then inwardly groaned. Oh, no. You should've expected it to be him of all people from how loud the reactions were. And all those yells from the crowd were from his family.
Son of a—
"Well, this has proven to be a very interesting arrangement!" the host proclaimed. "Our lucky man for tonight is none other than our great clan leader's heir, Maliksi Armanaz! Congratulations, sir! You get to slip the lacey little garter on Miss Y/N!"
The said very smug tikbalang stood a few feet away from the chair you were sitting on, smirking at you. His hair was no longer in that mesmerizing ponytail—instead, he'd tied it into a more sinfully attractive man-bun, loose strands framing his face and accentuating that sharp, angled jaw of his (say yes and thank you to Manny Jacinto's jawline, besties).
"Let's cheer him on in his new mission, everybody!" the host pushed. Was this that glint in his eye earlier? And was that a one thousand peso bill sticking out of his pocket?
The groomsmen, Mal's cousins and uncles whom you've met before, hollered words of encouragement to the tall man (who was, oddly enough, not one bit fazed). In fact, Maliksi seemed like he was famished as he stared you down.
You swallowed, feeling like you were going to get eaten (heh, say that again). Maliksi had shrugged off his dark suit blazer to the beat of the song (holy fuck, he also unclasped the suspenders attached to his pants right before your eyes—asdfghjkl). Were you prepared for this? No. Will you ever be prepared? No!
"Mr. Armanaz, before you begin," the host interrupted. "We have an additional challenge for you in this mission. Kaya mo ba? It was a request of the newlywed couple."
"What is it?"
"Use your teeth!" the bride and the groom cheerfully shouted, clapping with the other guests. Whatdidtheysaaaaay???
The cocky bastard didn't even hesitate, his smirk at you growing wider; those pearly whites of his on full display. Was it just you or were his canines a little sharper than usual?
"Anything for the newlyweds. Challenge accepted," he dashingly replied, winking at you. You sputtered indignantly. Pisteng yawa. Putangina. Putek. Pakshet. You swore you thought of every swear word in the book at that moment. What did that YouTube parody song about Filipino mythological creatures say again? About the tikbalang? Ah, yes. Half-macho dancer and half-stallion. Maybe the joke was true, especially when you saw what Maliksi did next.
He bit the shred of lace, loosening his necktie (bestie, you good there?), unbuttoning some top buttons, and rolling up the sleeves of his collared white undershirt up to his elbows (consequently showing off his toned, veiny forearms—those lucky bridesmaids behind him nearly fainted). Honestly, you felt like you were about to lose your mind from embarrassment. With how tantalizing your guy best friend was being? Let our response be: San Pedro, kunin mo na ako. Was he doing all this to tease you? To rile you up?
Because damn it all, it was working. In your ten years of knowing Maliksi Armanaz, withstanding all his daily dirty jokes and flirtatious attempts, never had you seen him like this. So... wolfish. Ravenous. Like he was a man that hadn't been fed in years.
He stalked closer towards you, falling to his knees in front of your legs. Your gown had a long slit that extended up to an inch or two below where your left leg began���your best friend was eyeing his target already, knowing where to place the garter. Normally, you would never even wear something as revealing as this gown. It just wasn't your type, but Maliksi was the one who bought this for you for this specific occasion, so you had no choice. It was this or your pantulog he stole you in just hours ago. At first, you were confident in the gown. Now? You felt too... naked.
Somehow, in the heat of it all, you'd muted out the noise of the venue. Maliksi teasingly lifted your foot up, fingertips slyly grazing the thin shoe straps around your left foot—his calculated touch leaving fire in its trail. Once the garter had been successfuly inserted past your high-heeled stilettos, the man kneeling in front of you kept his hands to himself. Despite the fact that now there was absolutely zero skin-to-skin contact between you and this man, your body felt hotter than it ever was before as he expertly slid the lacy bit of cloth up your ankle at an agonizingly slow pace.
Maliksi's warm eyes had turned dark, his pupils blown, a tinge of red in them—of his true beast—while he maintained striking eye contact with you, pulling the garter up your calf with his teeth. Smoothly tugging... tugging... tugging. Tangina, it was like he was undressing you with his eyes alone; like he was telepathically telling you to keep your eyes open.
To keep your eyes on him, where he was knelt inbetween your legs, his hands intentionally locked on his back. Did you ever imagine this? Him between your legs? Maybe. Once or twice. But you never thought about it seriously; Maliksi dated girls left and right in the past.
His lips... his lips were so close... so close to your leg that you could feel the heat of his breath along with the lace. Were you about to die? Perhaps you already did. Maybe you were in heaven. Up... up... up... snap!
Suddenly, he stopped, grinning up at you mischievously and letting the elastic bounce back to the skin of your left knee.
"I'm not going any further, don't worry, babe," he whispered, noting that your eyes had become misty and glazed over. Internally, he grew worried. "That's enough." Did he think it was from discomfort? From you being uncomfortable? Bitch, no. It was the exact opposite. You had never been this turned on in your entire life.
You felt like your soul had left your body at that moment. Did you just have a heart attack? Was your blood pressure okay? Before you or Maliksi could stand, however, someone bellowed from the wedding sponsor tables.
"Higher! That's an order!"
Fucking hell, it was Maliksi's father who shouted. He wasn't in the huge tikbalang form you'd normally meet him in, but he was still very intimidating in his humanoid form, commanding attention and subservience wherever he went. You could tell where Maliksi got it from.
Instantly, the other guests—already half-drunk and wanting the spirit of partying to continue on—joined in.
"Higher! Higher!"
The host cheered, "You heard Señor Armanaz! Higher!"
Maliksi gave you a questioning look. Even if it was his father who spoke up, he still wouldn't do anything you didn't want. Well, you two made it this far; there was no point in getting embarrassed now. You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding. You probably couldn't erase the redness on your skin with how much you'd blushed from this night. It was as if the heat was tattooed onto your skin.
"Go on, Mal," you whispered to him, bending your torso down closer to his face, eyes half-lidded from want. "Finish what you started, babe."
With those sultry bedroom eyes he'd never once seen you show him before—plus you turning the tables with that familiar term of endearment, how could he refuse? Like a switch had been flipped inside him, he immediately complied, taking the frilly scrap of stretchy lace between his teeth once more, moving it further up to your thighs until where your high slit ended—centimeters below the warming juncture between your legs.
Your legs felt wobbly... boneless, as you stood up from the chair, the fabric of your gown cascading over where the lace sat securely on your upper left thigh. The party was still going strong even after you two finished the garter wearing tradition.
"'Atta boy! That's my son!" Señor Armanaz blazoned, standing up and raising his glass for a toast. "Cheers to the newlywed couple! May they last forever!"
You guys weren't the newlyweds, but it did sure feel like it. If the clan leader was hyped up, everyone was hyped up. Heck, the groom and the bride didn't mind one bit what had just transpired on their dance floor. In all the chaos, Maliksi took you out of the reception area and somewhere quieter. More private.
You would need to have a serious, urgent talk with your boy best friend.
》》》
You two silently sat on a stone bench in a gazebo somewhere in the reserved venue for the wedding, trying to cool down and get yourselves back together (at this point, you needed ice from that steamy, half-scandalous event you just went through). Here, there was no one else except for the chirping of crickets, the lush trees surrounding the area, and the golden fairy lights strewn all over the roof. Awkwardness was something you'd expected after what just happened, but somehow, you still felt comfort in this man's presence. For the past thirty minutes, both of you just stayed still, lost in your thoughts and reflecting.
"Mal?" you finally spoke up.
"... Hmm?"
"Ano tayo?"
"Whatever you want us to be."
Your fingers instinctively reached out for his, just like they always did when you were anxious. Sensing this, he grasped your hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Soothingly. He massaged the skin of your fingers, distracting you from your nervousness. It seemed like both nothing and everything changed between both of you. The gesture was the same, but so different at the same time.
"Mahal mo ako." It was not a question. It was a statement. A truth—one that you'd been too blind to see before. One that you only discovered while you stared into each other's eyes in that party not as best friends. You realized with a jolt in your heart what he really felt for you, and now, what you really felt for him. In those thirty minutes of silence, you knew. You just knew.
"Yes. I do."
"... Just as a best friend?" you probed.
"..."
Finally, you gazed into his eyes, previously so dark and full of hunger. Now? Just reluctant. Vulnerable. Open. Unsure of what to do next.
Seems like you had to be the one to take initiative tonight. Taking out your phone, you opened your music app and pressed play on a certain song. Ikaw at Ako by Johnoy Danao. You removed your heels (which were starting to blister your ankles and toes), then pulled him up to stand.
"Dance with me," you murmured, grabbing his arms to wrap them around your waist. He was stiff. Tense. What was he to do when the woman he's been pining after for so long let him hold her? All his gallantry and ability to romance disappeared out the window the moment you let him touch you so intimately.
You two weren't even waltzing. Just swaying. Slowly, you leaned your head on his broad chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.
"... I love you," Maliksi admitted in the middle of it all, feeling like he was dreaming. Your head on his chest kept him grounded to reality, however. "More than anything in the universe. I fell for you ever since you patched me up when you were nineteen and I was a reckless drag racer who didn't have a purpose in life. 'Nung dinala mo ako pabalik sa Armanaz Tower on the verge of death. Simula noon, ikaw lang."
"I realized that," you smiled, reminiscing the old memory. You were just a broke college student that time, coming back to your dorm from making your group thesis at a classmate's house. Imagine your panic when you found a half-man, half-horse bleeding out by some bushes on the way home at night. Despite your fear and your little money (only enough to feed you for the week), you went out of your way to buy a first-aid kit at the nearest 7/11. It was scary, but you managed to mend the creature's wounds by the side of the road. When he was finally able to speak, turning fully human (which you admit, freaked you out initially), you arduously carried him back to his address—to his father and his clan, even if you had classes the very next morning. Because of your heroic deed of saving their precious heir, the tikbalang clan had become indebted to you: a teenage girl on the verge of a mental academic breakdown, just making her way through the cruel adult world. How old of a memory that was, you thought, yet you still recalled it in perfect detail. "Just a while ago."
"Ah." He swayed you gently.
"Lahat ng ito, plano mo?"
"... Yes," Maliksi fessed up. "Except for this part where we're here dancing in this belvedere. Wala sa plano ko. Gusto ko sanang magconfess doon sa may fountain para sweet, pero..."
You lifted your head off his chest, smiling at him with one brow raised, "You know, between both of us, you're supposed to be the spontaneous one. Planning isn't usually your thing."
"I know. It's a failure, huh?" Maliksi sighed.
"Nah." You shook your head, then suddenly locked lips with him. It was so fast and surprising he didn't even get the chance to return your first kiss. For once, you caught him off guard. You pecked him on the lips again. "It's not a failure."
"Wha—"
"I'm sorry for making you wait, Maliksi. Ten years. We're twenty-nine now, and only tonight do I realize how blind I've been. We've been going around in circles, wasting so much time. Ayoko nang mag-aksaya ng oras," you whispered guiltily against his lips. How could you have been so blind? Andaming nasayang na taon. Making up your mind, you told him, "Yes. Sige, I accept. I'll be your plus one."
The tikbalang was flustered and baffled from the kiss, as well as your revelation, "... But, you already are?"
"No, silly. I meant that I'll be your plus one for life. For as long as you'll have me," you laughed, now processing that you were currently dancing barefoot with your boy best friend and had just kissed him in a wedding you didn't even plan on going to. The universe had a mysterious way of doing things. "Guess I'm the spontaneous one now, huh?"
Maliksi was tongue-tied. "Seryoso ka ba? Is... Is this a marriage proposal?"
"Whatever you want it to be," you echoed his words back to him. "Best friend, plus one, girlfriend, wife—mmpf!"
He kissed you so hard your lips bruised. After an impromptu makeout session which was definitely more in character for Maliksi, you both pulled away, panting heavily in search for air, still desperate for passion. He cupped your cheeks, giving you a sweet, featherlight Eskimo kiss.
"You're missing one more title."
"Hm? What do you mean, Mal?"
"Love of my life." He kissed you again, this time lifting you off your feet and spinning you around (his sneaky right hand was resting on your bum, too, giving it a tight squeeze). You know in the Princess Diaries where the main character's foot just... pops whenever the prince charming kissed her? Yeah, that happened to you on that humid summer night. This was right. You two were meant to be together. Everything was falling into place.
The bungalow you reserved for your Batangas vacation leave ended up being the site of your very eventful honeymoon with the Prince of the Tikbalang (with his libido, it wasn't that difficult to continue where you'd left off in the garter toss; that scrap of lace came off your leg the same way it went on). Actually, nauna pa ang honeymoon sa actual wedding (it was definitely spontaneous). Right after your confession in that alcove, you two went to Maliksi's father to ask for his blessing (which he gladly gave, cackling and saying that it took you long enough) before you guys went driving off to Batangas that night. You and Mal indeed had lots and lots of fun in that resort (I'll let you imagine the rest). More beautiful memories were made from that point on—this time, not just as best friends.
All that and your small, intimate wedding occurred in early April. Just when you thought that it'd be impossible to fulfill Maliksi's life goal of having a baby within the year (nine months of pregnancy meant that the earliest you'd give birth would be January next year), the impossible happened.
Exactly thirty-two weeks later, on New Year's Eve, the Armanaz herd welcomed one prince and two new princesses into the world. Triplets who were instantly adored by everyone in the clan.
Señor Armanaz had never been happier, and so were you and your husband. Your best friend. The love of your life. Your forever plus one.
Maybe being spontaneous wasn't so bad after all.
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Taglist: @belladaises @binibiningbabaylan @4kodzuk3n @sparklingmallow @severuslovebot @holyshxtangel @marinac15 @space-flamingo @pippethealien @kashasenpai @disappointmentpastry @hornehlittleweeblet2 @seijohoe @monimiin @ibelievein2dmensupremacy @tinybonksharkcop @methehipster @banisuoh @genshin-idiot @lemonnie-kimmie
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osakaso5 · 3 years ago
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Haruka Isumi Twelve Hits! Rabbit TV Part 1: Twelve Hits!
Part 2 | Part 3 
Haruka Isumi: "RADIO STATION Twelve Hits"?
Torao Mido: Ah... Isn't that the radio show IDOLiSH7 was on last year?
Minami Natsume: TRIGGER and Re:vale also participated in it.
Toma Inumaru: That's right! And we're gonna be on Twelve Hits! this year!
Torao Mido: Hmm.
Toma Inumaru: Why dont you look more interested!?
Torao Mido: It's not like we haven't done a bunch of radio shows before, right? If anything, you're a little too excited.
Toma Inumaru: Hold on... This is Twelve Hits! we're talking about! The famous radio show practically everyone in Japan’s heard of!
Toma Inumaru: It's been on air ever since we were kids, so you've got to have listened to it at least once, right?
Haruka Isumi: Nope. I like RabbiTube better, anyway.
Torao Mido: Haha, you're such a modern kid. Not that I've listened to it, either.
Toma Inumaru: You've gotta be kidding me!
Minami Natsume: I've listened to it. It's a monthly broadcast that has a new host each time.
Minami Natsume: I even appeared in it once when I was still a child actor.
Toma Inumaru: Seriously, Mina..!? That's awesome..!
Toma Inumaru: I've sent a couple messages to it, but they never got read on air. ...So you've already been on it, huh..!
Minami Natsume: Oh dear. If you open your eyes so wide, they'll fall out.
Minami Natsume: Though I must say, I like being gazed at so intensely that it might result in your loss of sight.
Haruka Isumi: Eek... Don't say scary stuff like that..!
Torao Mido: I see. In other words, this radio show is amazing enough that some people would even sacrifice their precious eyes for it.
Toma Inumaru: ...Ahem. In any case, we've got a really cool job ahead of us!
Toma Inumaru: The shows from last year were a lot of fun, too!
Torao Mido: You listened to them?
Minami Natsume: So, you listened to them.
Haruka Isumi: You did?
Toma Inumaru: S-should I not have..? Why are you all looking at me like that!?
Torao Mido: No reason.
Haruka Isumi: No reason?
Minami Natsume: No reason in particular.
Toma Inumaru: You three always work together perfectly at times like these...
Minami Natsume: I was simply commending you for having a genuine interest in even the hosts   who weren't your friend, Nanase-san, without so much as gathering intel on them.
Torao Mido: Hmph. Nothing we could've done about that. Toma wants to be friends with those guys. Probably because he's not satisfied with us.
Haruka Isumi: Torao, stop sulking like a little kid. He's not gonna understand that you want him to pay more attention to you unless you tell him.
Torao Mido: I'm not sulking. I was just pointing out that he goes on and on about people other than us.
Toma Inumaru: ...I just thought it looked fun, the way they were giving each other requests for the show... I kinda wanted to try it, too...
Toma Inumaru: Listening to them made me think about how fun it'd be to do that with you guys!
Torao Mido: Oh..?
Haruka Isumi: Hmm..?
Minami Natsume: So, you want us to complete requests for you.
Toma Inumaru: That's right! Some of them could get pretty crazy and extreme, but it just seemed like something members of the same group do together!
Haruka Isumi: Yeah... I guess Tenn Kujo seemed pretty happy when he got a request from his little brother.
Toma Inumaru: Yep. So you did listen to it, after all!
Haruka Isumi: Huh? Ah..!
Haruka Isumi: N-no I didn't! I just happened to hear it from a car radio on my way somehwere.
Toma Inumaru: If you already know what the show's like, then that makes things easier! Apparently we'll also get requests from the listeners.
Toma Inumaru: Make sure to come up with good ones!
Minami Natsume: Very well. You'll answer anything, won't you?
Torao Mido: Feels nice to be on the asking end of a relationship for once.
Haruka Isumi: Let's rebel like we always do, even on radio! 
- - - -
Toma Inumaru: Alright, everyone's here. Time to start brainstorming requests for Haru!
Minami Natsume: Yes indeed. I've come up with a request that should fit Isumi-san quite well.
Torao Mido: That's one hell of a smile, Minami. Is your idea really that good?
Minami Natsume: I certainly think so.
Toma Inumaru: I dunno why, but your smile's giving me the heebie-jeebies... You sure it's something that can be broadcasted on radio..?
Minami Natsume: Yes, of course. I'm sure it'll liven up his variety segment nicely.
Haruka Isumi: Variety... Ugh...
Toma Inumaru: Haha, what's with the long face, Haru?
Torao Mido: I know what his problem is. He's clearly feeling lonely because we can't be on the show with him.
Torao Mido: I guess even you've got a cute side, Haruka.
Toma Inumaru: Seriously..!? I guess that makes sense... Haru might work hard as our center, but he's still only a high schooler...
Toma Inumaru: Sorry for not noticing..! Next time, just let us know. We're a team, so we've gotta help each other out!
Haruka Isumi: ...Huh!? I'm NOT feeling lonely! Stop being weird!
Minami Natsume: Is there another reason why you looked so depressed, then?
Haruka Isumi: ...Twelve Hits! is a variety talk show, right? I just don't know what I should talk about.
Minami Natsume: You don't?
Haruka Isumi: Yeah, Tenn Kujo called me the "honor student of variety shows" once, and I don't really get what that means yet.
Haruka Isumi: I guess TV and radio aren't the same thing, but still. I'm the  last member of ŹOOĻ to go, anyway.
Haruka Isumi: Since I'm doing this, I might as well do it right!
Toma Inumaru: Haru..! I didn't think you'd take this so seriously..!
Toma Inumaru: That's great!
Haruka Isumi: Hey..! Quit patting me on the head..!
Torao Mido: Don't think too hard on it. You're the host, so can't you just talk about whatever you like?
Minami Natsume: Agreed. The listeners will be there for you, Isumi-san.
Haruka Isumi: You think so..?
Toma Inumaru: That's right, Haru! Take it easy, pretend you're talking to your friends if you have to.
Toma Inumaru: Like Izumi and Yotsuba! Or... Uh, did you have any other friends, again?
Haruka Isumi: I-I've got plenty! Just the other day, I swapped RabbitChat IDs with a couple of my classmates!
Minami Natsume: Oh my, congratulations.
Haruka Isumi: ...It was mainly so we could stay in touch for our group project, though...
Toma Inumaru: ...Wait, we're getting off topic! Back to the requests!
Toma Inumaru: We can help Haru out, too. Help him practice for variety shows!
Torao Mido: Like how?
Toma Inumaru: Well...
Toma Inumaru: Ah! Ask him to do a little improv skit!
Haruka Isumi: That's too hard! I've never done comedy before!
Toma Inumaru: That's exactly why. Can't give you too low of a hurdle! Besides, a real man can overcome anything!
Minami Natsume: Or a real man can trip over the hurdle and never overcome  his failure, let alone anything else.
Torao Mido: Hmph, don't you worry, someone will pick you right back up. Toma, that is.
Haruka Isumi: If you guys are joking, it's not very funny...
Toma Inumaru: You're not chickening out, are you?
Haruka Isumi: N-no way! ...I could totally do improv!
Toma Inumaru: I believe in you, buddy! You'll get your prompt on the day of the show.
Torao Mido: Haha, you've got guts, kid. In that case, I'll give you a hosting related request, too.
Torao Mido: Why don't you do a bit of bold self-promotion for your audience, and try to pitch ŹOOĻ to them?
Haruka Isumi: What, like a sales pitch for some product..? I've seen those on TV at night...
Toma Inumaru: Yeah, like one of the infomercials for those really sharp knives that can even slice a pumpkin to ribbons!
Haruka Isumi: What!? Knives can do that!?
Toma Inumaru: Pineapples, too.
Haruka Isumi: Holy crap..!
Minami Natsume: Oh my. Perhaps your skit should be about TV shopping?
Torao Mido: ŹOOĻ is a product of sorts, too. And it'll be your job to sell us to the listeners, Haruka.
Torao Mido: Captivate your audience so well that no amount of money will be enough for them to get enough of us. Your words will decide our value.
Torao Mido: What do you think? It's a pretty good talk show excercise.
Haruka Isumi: It's a pain in the ass... All I'd need to do is play them one of our shows. Can I just sing or something?
Torao Mido: If that's what you'd rather practice, then sure, whatever.
Haruka Isumi: ...Fine. I'll try.
Torao Mido: Haha, you're actually being obedient for once.
Haruka Isumi: I'm plenty obedient. And I don't really wanna do it, but we agreed on the "no takebacks" rule, remember?
Haruka Isumi: Plus, I get that you guys are just trying to help me out...
Minami Natsume: Hee hee. In that case, I suppose my request will be something sweet, to reward you for being good.
Haruka Isumi: Sweet?
Minami Natsume: Think of it as the carrot to their stick.
Minami Natsume: You may make a request for the three of us. Us older members should do our duty and spoil you every now and then, especially seeing as how your birthday is coming up.
Haruka Isumi: Huh!? I get to ask you guys for something!? ...Like, anything!?
Minami Natsume: Yes, anything. After all, we have a young heir in our midst.
Torao Mido: Since when am I an heir? Oh, well.
Toma Inumaru: ...So Mina's request was perfectly normal and radio approriate. I dunno why I was so worried...
Minami Natsume: Hee hee. I said it would fit him nicely, did I not?
Haruka Isumi: ...Feels weird. I know the skit and stuff sounded hard, but even they'd be for my own self improvement...
Minami Natsume: I only felt like going easier on you today.
Torao Mido: You'd better be grateful.
Toma Inumaru: Come on, guys..! You could at least admit how much you care about Haru!
Haruka Isumi: Hmm? ...Ehehe!
Haruka Isumi: This feels kinda nice! But still, I can't let you go too easy on me.
Haruka Isumi: I'll shock you with how good my radio hosting will be! 
End of Part 1.
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jaminjims · 4 years ago
Text
heartbeat || p.jm
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@jiminiestanposts requested: Hiii, could I request a top male reader x bottom jimin please?? Where the reader likes jimin but jimin doesn’t like him back. After a few months, though, jimin gets jealous when the reader and another member seem close, and this is when he realises that he loves the reader. Angst at the beginning, but fluffy at the end when reader and jimin get together😊 Thank youuuuuu!! 💜💜💜
a/n: ahh its been awhile hasn’t it? over the past few months sooo much has changed for me! i’m getting into the colleges i applied to (hallelujah) and i’m almost done with the college craziness (hopefully)! i’m so sorry this is posted so late, but my computer broke a few months ago and is still broken, so i had to write this using my phone (which was icky) but i hope my writing skills aren’t too rusty. thank you so so so much to the lovely jiminiestanposts for requesting and i hope this is what you were looking for bub! (also, i hope everyone has had a good holiday and is staying healthy!) 💖💖
pairing: jimin x male danceinstructor!reader
genre: angsty at the beginning, christmas fluff at the end <3
words: 2.1k
warnings: unrequited love (at the beginning), sadness, jealousy
~**~
Your hands were numb as you walked into the BigHit building. This winter has been grueling and even you can admit to being a baby when it comes to the cold.
You shrugged off your jacket and pulled off your hat once you entered one of the many dance practice rooms that BigHit had within its walls. Setting up the sound system was almost second nature as you were rounding the three month mark of being one of BigHit’s dance instructors. You technically weren’t supposed to be promoted as early as you were (you had been working as a back-up dancer for only a year before being promoted) but one of the instructors was on leave because his wife gave birth, and it quickly became apparent that the dance staff needed another set of hands for teaching.
But the other dance instructors didn’t look down on you for being promoted out of necessity, as did any of the other background dancers. They agreed that out of all of them, you were one of the most talented because of the sheer amount of power you held over your body and the dominance that you portrayed when you were dancing. Because of the talent you held, you were assigned to work with BTS themselves.
Today however you were working with the trainee’s because Miyoung, a fellow instructor, got sick with the flu and needed someone to take over. You were glad to help, but most of the trainee’s weren’t glad that you were teaching. You’ve been told that the way you taught was really hardcore and labor intensive, especially to people who don’t train with you often, but you just wanted them to be the best they could be.
The trainee’s didn’t see it that way.
So when the time came when you announced that practice was over, all of the younglings dropped to the ground and heaved out groans of relief. You could’ve sworn some even fall asleep.
It was then that Jimin decided to peak his head into the door of the practice room and smile at the scene. The trainee’s all scrambled to their feet to greet him but he just smiled and told them to rest. They made their way out of the room, thanking you timidly as they went.
Jimin started walking over to you and your heart skipped a beat. “Hyung! I thought we talked about working the young ones to death!” He laughed and you would’ve felt lightheaded if you weren’t leaning against the mirrored wall.
“If they wanna be as good of a dancer as you, Jiminie, then I have to be hard on them.” You laughed, still a bit out of breath.
Jimin just hit you on the shoulder and scoffed, “You are better than me 100 percent, hyung.”
You swore this boy was out to kill you.
Park Jimin was perfection in human form. While you wholeheartedly agreed that everyone in BTS was handsome (you had no qualms admitting it out loud) Jimin just did something to you that the other boys didn’t. His personality was nothing to look over, either. All Jimin had to do was be himself and you were there at his beck and call.
Ever since you had started working as BTS’ personal dance instructor, it was like a part of you that you didn’t know was missing fell into place. You had become fast friends with all of them, and there was a certain calmness you felt around them. They were like a family, and you were surrounded by that positive energy almost instantly and brought into their circle.
For a while you passed off your growing affection for Jimin as that. You were enveloped by the good vibes they gave off and that was how you rationalized suddenly wanting to be around Jimin. Hold his hand, make him smile.
But eventually you had to face the music. When your thoughts started to stray to him whenever you had any free time, or when you fantasized about kissing him, taking care of him, you knew what had happened.
You were falling head first in love with this man. (if you weren’t in love with him already)
Yet, you were also scared of what the implications of that were. You started to question yourself more. How does he feel about you? Is he even interested like you are? Does he feel the connection you do? There were so many questions and sometimes your feelings got overwhelming. There have been a couple close calls when you almost confessed just to get it off your chest.
But it’s not like you could just go around confessing your love to one of the members of the world’s biggest boy band.
You almost jumped when you felt a head on your shoulder. You looked down and got a face full of Jimin’s hair and you felt your skin burn where his bare arm touched yours.
He suddenly looked up at you with his big doe eyes and a pout on his face, “What’s on your mind? Are you ok?”
No, you were not ok and he was the reason.
You tried to sort through your thoughts as he looked at you like that, but all you could hear was your heartbeat all the way up in your throat. You were suddenly overcome with the strong urge to kiss him and pull him into a hug so you could protect him from the world. You battled with yourself as the both of you looked into each other’s eyes.
Screw it.
You pushed yourself off the wall (causing Jimin to stand up straight as well) and leaned down before you had the chance to chicken out (where this sudden braveness and affection came from, you would never know). Your lips met his soft ones as you grabbed his head in between your much larger hands.
It was sweet and soft, and you had no intention of deepening it if he didn’t want it. A few seconds went by before you felt his tiny hands push against your chest.
You leaned back and looked into his shocked eyes. Your hands were still cupping his cheeks as he struggled to make a sentence, “Y-Y/n I-“
You interrupted him; you had to let your feelings be known. It was unfair to both of you at this point, and you felt like you were going to explode. Besides, you were already to far over the edge to stop now. “I love you. I am in love with you, Park Jimin.”
His eyes widened even more than before and his mouth parted in disbelief. The room seemed to hold its breath with you as you waited for his response. After a few seconds he stepped back with a frown on his face.
Oh.
“I’m sorry Y/n, but I don’t feel the same.”
Oh.
He left the room, almost slamming the door behind him. In his place was the love that would never be reciprocated.
So much for not confessing.
~~
It had been two months, three weeks, and six days since you confessed. Not that Jimin was counting or anything though.
After the Confession of 2020™️, as he had dubbed it, he’s felt rather misplaced. He doesn’t really know how to describe it.
After he had left the practice room that day, Jimin almost ran back to the dorms. His mind was on overdrive and he didn’t even know what to think, let alone feel.
You loved him. Not like, but love.
He couldn’t fathom how you, the dancer that got promoted in a year (that was a record), the guy that fit in so easily with him and his brothers, the one who had such a deep voice it made something inside him tremble, was in love with him. He was angry at first; how could you just say something that monumental, just out of the blue like that? What was Jimin even supposed to say? The lack of regard you seemed to have for his feelings on the matter made him angsty and upset.
What made him stop and think was the fact that you had pretended like nothing had ever happened.
You went back to treating him like you did before and didn’t bring it up again. But, there was a certain air about you. You seemed sad, and if you were a little more distant than usual, Jimin pretended not to know why when it was brought up one night while BTS was having dinner.
But after thinking about this for longer than he would like to admit, he realized that you only had his feelings in mind.
You decided to not let your feelings get in the way of your relationship with the others. You acted like nothing happened because he had rejected you, and you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable.
Jimin felt like an ass after he figured it out. Of course you would be that considerate, that’s just the type of person you are.
The kind of awkward ‘what happens now’ energy surrounding you both went on for a couple more weeks, but it was when Jimin saw you in the practice room, lights off, head down, and shoulders shaking that he realized maybe you weren’t as ok as you made yourself out to be.
He wanted to go in and check on you, apologize, do something to make sure you were ok.
In the end, he didn’t.
Maybe that’s why, months later, he felt an uncomfortable prickly sensation deep in his gut when he saw you leaning against Hobi-hyung, laughing with tears in your eyes.
Yeah, he just felt guilty. Nothing else.
Yet that same prickly feeling only amplified when he saw you hanging out with Hoseok, dancing with him, grabbing lunch with him. Jimin didn’t get it.
All he knew was that he wanted you here with him instead of his hyung. He wanted you to be laughing, dancing, and eating with him, not anyone else. All of a sudden you were the one that he was thinking about. What were you doing at the moment? Were you smiling? Suddenly he missed your smile. Were you happy? Now he wanted to talk with you, to make you laugh.
This was getting ridiculous.
It was Christmas Eve, but Jimin was anything but cheery as he saw you hugging Hobi in greeting, thanking him for letting you spend the night on Christmas.
Was it just him or could he see you blushing?
All of a sudden, without really knowing what he was doing, Jimin pulled you away from Hoseok and marched you both into his room. You were surprised at the action and a little concerned as you looked at Jimin’s agitated face.
“Hey, are you alright? What’s up Jiminie?”
His heartbeat sped up.
You frowned when he didn’t answer your question. You put your head to his forehead because he looked a little red. “Are you sick? You don’t feel like you have a fever.”
Jesus christ, was this what it felt like to you when he would do anything? He could barely hear you over the sound of his own heartbeat. He wouldn’t be surprised if you could hear it too.
Your eyes softened when you saw tears at the corners of his eyes. You whipped at them softly, “Hey, whatever is bothering you, you can tell me.”
It was quiet for a minute and just as you thought he wasn’t going to answer, Jimin inhaled sharply.
“I love you.”
You paused, short-circuiting for a minute as you processed what he said.
He stepped closer to you, “I love you, L/n Y/n.”
His lips timidly met yours and before you knew what you were doing, you were kissing him back, full of passion.
You put every once of love, sadness, everything into the kiss to try to convey what you couldn’t say in words. You put your hands on his cheeks and tried to push him closer.
Once the two of you parted for air, you looked into his eyes. “God, I love you so much. Park Jimin, you have no idea what you do to me.” Both of you were a blushing mess.
A very small part of you wanted to be angry at him. He made you go through all that heartache, for what? But you would worry about that later; right now, you just wanted to be close to him.
You pulled him into a hug and his small hands found their place at your sides, tugging you closer. Jimin giggled into your chest, feeling lighter than he has in the last few months. “Merry Christmas, Y/n.”
You kissed his head, a giddy smile on your face. “Merry Christmas, Jiminie.”
[end]
~**~
end note: for some reason i love this fic so much!! maybe it’s because it’s my slow progression back into writing for them, but something about this one hits me in the feels (in a good way). i hope you guys have an amazing new year (here’s to hoping 2021 is bounds better than 2020!!🥂) and christmas break. again, thank you so so much to jiminiestanposts for the amazing prompt! and i want everyone to know that i support them and that they are loved 💖💜❤️
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taglist: @boba-tea1206​
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misslilli · 3 years ago
Text
Felix Felicis
MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3
Chapter 15 - Siblings And Secret Sting Operations
[ DS ]
Sundays are reserved for church and phone calls with my family, so after mass and the church brunch, I make myself a cup of tea and grab my blanket, heading upstairs to curl up on the Adirondack chair on my private balcony. I take out my phone and call my brother Charlie.
He picks up on the second ring. “City morgue. You kill ‘em, we chill ‘em!” I almost choke on my sip of tea.
“Hey Charlie! That’s a new one, very funny. Almost killed me with it!”
“Aah killing with jokes is my specialty. Sorry sis! How’s it going over there on the main land?”
“We mere mortals manage to get by, always a little in awe of the Gods of the Cape. Hey can you see me?” I get up and wave across the bay to where I can picture him standing in front of his little cottage, waving back.
“I deign to gaze at the mere mortal waving like a crazy person, yeah! So what’s new with you?”
“Nothing much, busy with school, the usual. How about you? How’s Pete? Did he get the promotion?” I can hear the smile in his voice at the mention of his boyfriend.
“Yeah he did, I’m insanely proud of the big-shot broker that I call mine!” Against all odds, they make a pretty great couple, the artist and the stock broker. “So, speaking of… how’s your love life? Seeing anyone?” He always asks me this and the answer’s pretty much the same every time, but today, I surprise him.
“Mhh yeah, there’s someone…” The gasp he gives is so loud, it almost carries across the bay.
“Shut up! What? Who? When? Are you really seeing someone?”
“No… not exactly. But… there is the dream of someone else….” I sigh into the phone, smiling at the mental image of Fox Mulder that pops into my head.
“You’re kidding. Who is he?” As I recount the moments that happened between the two of us, Charlie is practically jumping with glee.
“God, that’s so great, sis! So, what happens now? Why are you pining for him from afar instead of putting on the big-girl pants and ask him out on a date?” I shake my head.
“You know why, Charlie. I’m really scared I’ll screw this up and the fact that I care about his kid so much makes it even more difficult. Oh God, and can you imagine what Dad will have to say about him being divorced and a single parent?” Charlie groans into the phone in frustration.
“Not this again, Dana. You can’t live your life the way you think will get you dad’s stamp of approval, you deserve to be happy and from the sound of it, you’re pretty excited about this guy. I can tell you from experience, if I had chosen to chase dad’s approval, I’d still be so deep in the closet I’d need a map and a compass to find my way out. So, your other concerns are valid but you’ll never find out if he’s the one if you don’t try!”
“I know, I know, you’re right, just like you were right the other thousand times we’ve had this conversation. What am I supposed to do, just walk up to him and ask him on a date? I can’t do that!” The thought alone sends a cold shiver down my spine.
“YES Dana, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do! We’re living in the 21st century, we’re not playing this stupid game where a boy has to ask a girl out, it’s okay if it’s the other way around!” I hang my head and sigh in resignation, he’s right, as always. I want to hate him a little for it.
“Alright, I’ll think about it, happy?” – “Overjoyed! So let me tell you about that art show that I’m putting on at the gallery!”
We chat for a little while longer, waving at each other again as we say our goodbyes.
----------
In the meantime, downstairs in the kitchen
The three other girls are sitting around the kitchen table having a very late breakfast, the smell of coffee and pancakes filling the house. They speak in hushed tones, not wanting to be overheard by the fourth friend upstairs.
“Girls … This Mr.Mulder- Dana situation is killing me. I just can’t take it anymore, they’re pining for each other so hard but they’re both too chicken to do something about it!”
“What are you saying, S?” Alex blows a cooling breath over her coffee cup.
“I’m saying that these two need a hefty kick in the butt!”
“Ooooh I get it now!” Holly bounces in her seat excitedly. “We’ll be the trusty matchmakers for these love-birds!”
“The two of you are out of your minds. She’ll see right through it, you know she will! We’ve talked about it with her Friday after Friday but nothing has happened! And he’s not making a move either.”
“Yeah… we can’t just go up to him and ask him if he’s blind or stupid or both and tell him that he should get his ass in gear and ask her out already!” Sarah spears a piece of pancake with her fork, twirling it thoughtfully.
“What if we enlist the help of his kid?”
“Holly, no, we can’t do that! He’s six for god’s sakes. Besides, I think they have another thing coming with him when they actually dostart dating. You know how kids lash out when their parent starts dating again, and he loves D to pieces. No, we need a more subtle plan.”
“How about we spike her drink at the birthday party with some hard stuff? You know, lower the inhibitions and all that” Sarah waggles her eyebrows suggestively.
Holly gapes at her friend. “Sarah! We can’t drug our friend into sleeping with him! It’s not right and she’ll have our heads for it if she ever found out, rightfully so! What about the Halloween fair, they’re both working there, but D doesn’t know that he got roped into it?”
Realization dawns in Sarah’s eyes and her mind works out a plan. The other two nod enthusiastically when she tells them about it.
“Oh this is so exciting! We need to talk to Miss Hannigan and some other people but I think it’s a good start to push them closer together! Now that we’ve got a plan, we just need to figure out how to keep it all from D. We live together, so she’s bound to overhear us talking about it at some point.” Holly and Alex nod in unison.
“We’ll go all secret sting operation on their ass, codenames and all. They won’t know what hit ‘em.”
“Codenames, S?”
“Yes codenames, come on it’ll be so much fun, like a secret society, Illuminati-style!”
Alex laughs: “Alright, what are our codenames for these two?”
They all think hard about this. “Well their real names are out, of course. Middle names too. Red and brown?” – “No, hair color’s too obvious, A!” – “Mom and Dad?” They share a laugh, shaking their heads. “That’s weird. Can we do something with the first letters of their names? F and D? S and M?” Holly bursts out giggling. “Okay maybe not S and M! … M and S? Can we do something with that?”
A slow smile spreads over Sarah’s face. “I’ve got it! A thunder of jets in an open sky, a streak of grey and a cheerful “HI!” – BOOM - a loop, a whirl and a vertical climb and once again you’ll know it’s time for the adventures oooof…?”
Holly jumps out of her chair and yells out excitedly: “Moose and Squirrel! Sarah that’s brilliant!!” Alex nods her agreement, grinning.
“We’ll call it Operation: Bullwinkle!”
“Man, Squirrel’s so gonna kick our asses…”
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Text
Ateez reaction to you being on the phone with someone and calling them “a friend”
This was requested by anon so I hope they like it! :) 
Hongjoong 
You and Hongjoong were having a movie night at your place. The two of you were being all snuggly on the couch when your phone started ringing, which startled you both. 
“Wah, put it on silent, y/n!” Hongjoon said clutching his chest. “Almost gave me a heart attack.” 
You told him to hush as you answered your phone. “Hi mom~ how are you? Oh I’m fine, I’m just watching movies with a friend! I’ll call you later, okay? I love you too.” 
You hung up your phone and were ready to snuggle back into Hongjoong’s arms, but when you turned back to him he had his arms cross and a frown on his face. 
“What’s wrong?” You asked confused. 
“”A friend”?” He asked clearly upset. “I thought I was your boyfriend. But I guess not.” 
“Ah, baby, no. Let me explain.” You said quickly. “My mom is very protective and even though I’m an adult.. she would chew my ear off if she knew I was with my boyfriend late at night.” 
Hongjoong continued to pout and looked away from you. 
“Baby please, don’t be like that.” You said wrapping your arms around him and planting kisses all over his face. “I love you so much. I’m just scared of my mom.” 
He burst into giggles hearing you say that. “Okay okay. I forgive. I’m sometimes scared of my mom too.” He opened his arms and hugged you. “And I love you too.” 
You both went back to enjoying your movie night. 
Seonghwa 
Note: E/n- ex’s name 
You and Seonghwa decided to grab some Starbucks before walking around the mall. You both had some errands that needed to be done there and the two of you often did this together. The two of you were holding hands in a middle of a conversation when your phone rang. 
“So I told Wooyoung that he better clean it up now or -“ 
“Sorry babe, hold on I’m getting a call.” You answered your phone. “Hello..? Oh.. how did you get my number?... My mom.. what for?... Not that it’s any of your business e/n but I am out with a friend right now and I-“ 
Seongwha grabbed the phone from you absolutely upset that not only your ex boyfriend had called you, but that you also referred to him as “friend” 
“Hi, this is y/n’s BOYFRIEND and I am going kindly ask you to NEVER contact her again. Or else you and I are going to have a problem? Got it?” And without waiting for a response he hung up. 
You knew you had messed up by the tone in Seongwha’s voice. You could tell how hurt he was. 
“Seongwha, love, I-I’m sorry..” you trailed off not sure what to say. 
Seongwha grabbed you hand and held it tightly while looking into your eyes. “Y/n, please tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for your ex?” 
“What? Of course no!” You exclaimed, shocked he would even ask that. “I love you and only you!” 
“Then why did you call me your “friend” and not boyfriend?” He asked with teary eyes. 
“Omg baby, I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I’m the one who broke up with him and he took it really hard. His family is very close with mine and I just didn’t want to hurt him again.. I’m sorry that I chose his feelings over yours.” You said stroking his check. “I am so incredibly lucky to have you has my boyfriend. Plus you were so cool earlier when you told him off.” 
Seongwha gave you a shy smile. “R-really? Well, since you were just trying to avoid hurting someone’s feelings I will forgive you. However, to make up for it..” He whispered into your ear what he wanted. You started blushing furiously and just nodded, you wanted to make things right, and you loved your boyfriend so much. 
“Good girl.” He said kissing your cheek. “Let’s head home, shall we?” 
Yunho 
You were FaceTiming with your parent’s and didn’t hear your boyfriend, Yunho come home. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. 
“Hey ba-“ 
“Y/n! Do you have a boyfriend?” You dad asked. 
“Do you guys live together!?” Your mother said shocked. “We allowed you to study overseas to get a good education! Not to date boys!” 
“Ahh! Nono, he’s just a friend. He’s here to study with me! But he’s a hugger just like me!” You said quickly to your parents. 
“‘Just a friend?’” Yunho said dejectedly. 
You looked at him with pleading eyes to go along with you. 
“Ah, yeah. Y/n and I are just friends. Here to study for our upcoming tests.” Yunho said sadly. 
It took a little more to convince your parents that Yunho wasn’t your boyfriend and you soon were able to hangout so you could “study.” 
“That was a close one.” You muttered to yourself. “Right, Yunho?.. Yunho?” 
You turned and saw your big baby of a boyfriend sitting on the couch sulking. You got up and wrapped your arms around him. 
“Baby, what’s wrong?” 
“Why did you have to lie to your parents? I really wanted to meet them as your boyfriend.. not “friend.””
“I’m sorry! If they knew I had a boyfriend.. they would find a way to get me to come home. And that I could no longer be with you!” You started placing kisses in his cheeks. “Do you want me to go away?” 
“No! Of course not!” He said turning around and pulling you onto the couch. “I would be heartbroken.” 
He started tickling you as punishment for hurting his feelings though. He then kisses your forehead. “I’ll pretend to be your friend for now.. but if we get caught again.. no promises.” 
“Okay,” you said smiling. You did want your parents to know you were dating such a wonderful man and they had nothing to worry about. 
Yeosang 
You and Yeosang were hanging out in your room, cuddling while watching TV, and after a while Yeosang was wanting more attention. He started kissing your neck and jaw, and it would have lead to a make-out session but you got a phone call. 
“Hello? Oh hi boss, how are you?” As you were trying to hear what your boss was trying to tell you, Yeosang whined beside you to hang up. 
“Hm, what was that? A boyfriend? No of course! I-I just have a friend over right now and she’s just a bit needy. Had a breakup.. aha y-yeah I remember you saying all men a scum.. oh okay you need me in early tomorrow? Yeah I can do that. Okay bye.” You said sighing as you threw your phone. 
“I’m sorry, y/n, but was that your way of saying you want to break up with me?” Yeosang asked hurt. 
“What are you talking about?” You asked confused. “Of course not! Why would I break up with you?” 
“Well why did you tell your boss your dealing with a “friend” who is going through a breakup?” He asked pouting and letting you go to cross his arms over his chest. 
“Baby, my boss is an older woman who really hates men. If any woman in the office gets a boyfriend.. then she takes out all her anger on them.” You explained. “I don’t want her to make my life a living hell at work.” 
“What, really!? You actually work for a woman like that?” Yeosang asked surprised. “You should quit!” 
“I can’t do that! I need this job until I can find a better one. So please, bare with this until then. You’re still my boyfriend and I still love you.” You pleaded. “Just can’t tell my boss.” 
“Okay. But once you get a new job you better tell everyone you’re taken and have the best boyfriend in the whole world.” He said pulling you back into his arms. 
“I promise.” You giggled. 
You smiled at you before continuing where you guys left off before the phone call had rudely interrupted. 
San 
You and your best friend San were hanging out at the arcade together like usual. You were watching him play the claw machine, he was attempting to win you a pink teddy bear that you said was really cute, and he was determine to win it for you. 
You got a phone call and saw that it was your grandma so you answered it immediately. 
“Hi grandma! How are you?.. yeah I’m good! I’m just with San. Yeah, you remember San, my friend? Yeah.. boyfriend? Aha no... oh? Blind date? I-I don’t know about that.. oh okay. Well alright I guess. Bye grandma.. love you.” You said and sighed as you ended the call. You leaned you head against the claw machine and closed your eyes. You didn’t want your grandma to set you up with anyone because there was only one boy you wanted and unfortunately he only saw you as a friend. 
“So I have been demoted from best friend to friend, now?” San asked. 
“What? Oh you heard that huh? Sorry, my grandma can’t remember a lot besides that I don’t have a boyfriend.” You laughed bitterly. 
“Do you want one?” San asked. “A boyfriend.” 
You jumped back startled from his question. “Wha- well I would. But I don’t think it will happen.” 
“Well think again.” He said smiling as he handed you the pink bear he had managed to win you. “I would like to promote you from my best friend to my girlfriend.” 
You jumped back again surprised by San’s confession. “What? You like me!?” 
“Yeah dummy. Thought it was obvious. I knew you liked me. I was just waiting for the right time to ask you out.” He said nonchalantly. “So, will you accept your promotion?” 
“Y-yes! Yes of course!” You said throwing you arms around San. “I would love to be your girlfriend.” 
He hugged you back and smirked. “Good, now call grandma back and tell her no more blind dates because you’re taken.” 
Mingi 
You, your boyfriend and the members of Ateez decided to spend the day at an amusement park. The 9 of you had been running around crazy all day, riding rides, screaming, and chickening out for certain rides. You all decided to take a break and get some food. 
“Babe, you sit down and I’ll get us something to eat.” Mingi said kissing you cheek before going off to stand in line. 
You sat down at a table waiting for Mingi to return. The others had found tables away from you two, to allow a little alone time. After a little bit you received a phone call from one of the kids you tutored English to. As you were speaking to her on the phone you heard Mingi calling you. 
“Noona! Noona! Where are you?” You spotted your giant boyfriend easily and waved him down.
“Over here, Mingi!” You called. 
“Ah Noona, there you are.” He said coming to you. “Oh you’re on the phone.” He notes as he sat down. 
“Oh what was that, sorry? My brother? Aha, oh no he’s not my brother but my friend. Yeah that’s right! Okay, I’ll see you on Tuesday for our lesson!” You said ending the call and putting your phone away. 
“Did I do something wrong?” Mingi asked quietly. 
“What? No of course not! Why would you think that?” You asked. 
“Because you told the person on the phone that I was your “friend” and not boyfriend.” He pouted. 
“Oh! Baby no. I’m sorry.” You said grabbing both his hands with yours. “It was one of my younger students just asking me a question. I just didn’t want to tell her too much personal information about myself.” 
“Really?” Mingi said giving you those eyes (🥺) that melted and broke your heart every time. 
“Of course! I love you so much and want everyone to know your my boyfriend.” You said reaching out to caress his cheek. “You make me incredibly happy and I would be heartbroken if we weren’t together.” 
He gave you that gummy smile of his while slightly blushing. “I love you too. And I feel the same way.” 
Mingi was extra clingy to you for the rest of the day, determined to let everyone in the park know you two were dating. 
Wooyoung 
You were at the dance studio watching your boyfriend practice for his upcoming stage performance. He liked when you came and kept him company. He always asked you to watch him so you could help him determine which parts need more work than others. Plus he enjoyed teasing you from time to time. Wooyoung just finished practicing when you got a phone call from your best friend, who was a huge fan of Ateez, and didn’t know you were friends with them, let alone that you were dating Wooyoung. 
“Hey, y/f/n, what’s up?” 
“Y/nnnnnnn are you ignoring me already?” Wooyoung whined when he saw you on the phone. 
“Eh, what was that? Wooyoung? No of course not! No I don’t have a boyfriend! It’s just one of my friends from work! Yeah! Okay, I’ll talk to you later.” You pressed end and laid on the floor, your heart racing from the anxiety you had just experienced. 
“Ya, y/n! Why am I your ‘friend’ all of sudden? Hmm? Am I not good enough to be your boyfriend?” Wooyoung asked laying down on you. “Explain yourself. Before I go to Seongwha and tell him how you are mistreating his baby.” 
You burst onto giggles hearing. “You give Seongwha so much stress.. I don’t think you’re HIS baby.. maybe San’s and most definitely mine.” You said stroking his hair. 
“It was my best friend, the one who loves you guys more than anything. She heard your voice and was getting suspicious. You know she can’t know or else all hell would break lose.” 
“Oh is that what happened?” He said. “Ah okay, baby I get it. I’m still your boyfriend and your baby?”
“Of course, my sweet angel.” You said kissing his nose. “Forever and always.” 
Woo started giggling while he placed kisses all over your face. “You know it’s kind of hot having to keep this a secret from people, huh?” 
“Ugh, Woo shush.” You said said pushing his shoulder. 
“Nope. I want you baby, come here.” He said before kissing your lips. “Let’s go home.. unless you wanna stay here?” 
“Omg! No let’s go home then!” You said getting out from under him and leaving the room. 
“Wait for me baby!” Wooyoung called chasing after you. 
Jongho 
You and Jongho were hanging out in his room watching videos on his phone. You were resting your head on his chest and he had his one arm around you. He was usually quite shy when you two were around other people, but when it was just the two of you, he seemed to relax a bit more. As you two were watching a video you saw you noticed you missed a phone call from your mom. 
“Oh Jongho, can you pause for a second? I need to call my mom back.” 
“Sure thing babe.” 
“Hi mom! Sorry I missed your call. What’s up?” 
“The doctor just called and said you started taking birth control!! Why? Are you doing things you shouldn’t be!?” Your mom said so loud that even Jongho could hear her. 
“Birth control?” Jongho asked surprised. 
“Who was that!? Are you with a boy? Are you doing sinful things!?” Your mom yelled. 
“No no mom! Of course not mom! It’s just my friend, a girl, not a boy! Please don’t say she sounds like a boy.. she’s self conscious about her voice.” You reassured your mom that you were good, innocent, and pure daughter, who would never think of such thoughts- after years of lying you could get her to believe anything. 
“Ughhh I shouldn’t have called her.” You said. “I’m sorry you had to what that.” 
“I-I understand why you had to call me “friend” but it kind of hurt.” Jongho said quietly while he had pouty lips. 
“Ohhh my sweet baby I am so sorry about that. If I could tell my mom I had such a loving, caring and handsome boyfriend such as yourself I would.” You leaned up and kissed his pouty lips. 
He smiled shyly at you. “Well, as long as you know I’m your boyfriend than I don’t care too much. Especially because your mom is...” 
“Crazy? Yeah I agree.” You said giggling. “I’ll let her know I have a boyfriend soon. Just gotta wait to find the best time to break her heart.” 
You snuggled back into his arms and continued watching videos together. 
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adultswim2021 · 3 years ago
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Ephemera Week (2002)
It’s still ephemera week, and we’re still talking about John K. I said most of my piece on him in the last post, so don’t expect there to go full bore on this one, except I forgot to say he’s animation’s Jerry Lewis. His current stuff is basically Hardly Working. I will not elaborate, because I’m being mean to you0.
MARCH SPECIALS!
In March, Adult Swim advertised a run of one-off specials. A couple of them were already covered because they fell under the parameters of “Adult Swim original production”. They were Welcome to Eltingville (March 3rd) and Saddle Rash (March 24th).
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Day in the Life of Ranger Smith | March 10th 2002 - 11:00 PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)
This was one of two specials commissioned by Cartoon Network re-imagining Yogi Bear. The artist what took this assignment was John K, who I REEEAALLY skewered in last night’s post, didn’t I?
This is about Ranger Smith harassing animals and writing them up for violating park rules, basically. It’s short! I remember liking it at the time! Okay, maybe I’m going crazy here, but I distinctly remembered a part at the end where Ranger Smith is in bed and he solemnly confides in the viewer that the noises of wilderness give him nightmares and then it just ends. Did I imagine this? It does end with him in bed, but this doesn’t happen in the version on YouTube (which is from the Adult Swim airing). Huh.
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Boo Boo Runs Wild | March 10th 2002 - 11:15PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)
Boo Boo Runs Wild was another one of these stand-alone Yogi Bear John K specials. This one was 30 minutes long. The Ranger Smith short was a brief 7 minutes; I’m guessing they aired a couple Capt. Lingers or something to fill time.
This one is about Boo Boo reverting to his feral nature and causing BIIIIG problems! This special would later go on to be kind of a weird trolling thing Adult Swim would do where they aired it every Sunday for a few months, even promoting regularly. This was like 2006, I think? They’d also air it as part of April Fools. Is that Adult Swim admitting this special sorta sucks? Does it sorta suck? Again, I liked these at the time and REFUSED to actively rewatch these for this write-up. Sorry.
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The Jetsons: Father and Son Day/The Best Son | March 10th, 2002 11:45PM (Originally aired on CartoonNetwork.com in 2001) Our John K rock block ends with a pair of Jetsons shorts, Father and Son Day and The Best Son respectively. This is kinda the same deal as his Yogi Bear shorts, but these were exclusive for Cartoon Network’s website. I remember watching them on there. They are as bad as you’d expect late-period John K internet shorts to be, though the second short is a superior version of Spielberg’s A.I. (in that it’s shorter).
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Night of the Living Doo | March 17th, 2002 - 11:00PM (originally aired on Cartoon Network, 2001)
Night of the Living Doo originally aired as wraparound segments during a Halloween Scooby Doo marathon on Cartoon Network. It’s kinda like an episode of the Scooby Doo Movies, which shoehorned in a guest star each episode. Suddenly my man Dick Van Dyke be running a carnival and shit. That’s the Scooby Doo Movies. At the end of the night they played all the wraparound segments in one uninterrupted sitting, so the viewer could appreciate it as an actual full-on Scooby Doo episode. Night of the Living Doo functioned both as an extension of that series as well as a parody. The guests were Gary Coleman, David Cross, and the very cool band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. It was all very self-deprecating and had jokes about the absurdity of Scooby Doo tropes. Well trod territory by this point, sure. But this is better than most irreverent Scooby Doo things. It didn’t hurt that I was a HUGE David Cross fan when this aired. Is this where I tell the stupid-ass story about getting mad at a message board guy for not liking David Cross? Sure. Okay, yeah. When this aired on Adult Swim a guy on Kon’s (hi Kon) message board posted something about not finding David Cross funny, shrugging that he didn’t get the hype. He cited this and his appearances in the Men in Black movies, and nothing else as proof for his lackluster comedy skills. It’s kinda like deeming Eddie Murphy as a bad comedian after watching Dr. Doolittle.
The point of this special is that David Cross is a little wooden and stilted, like in the old Scooby Doo Movies episodes. This poster revealed that he never heard David Cross’s stand-up or seen Mr. Show, explaining “I don’t watch puppet shows” A response that still baffles me to this day. Why Mr. Show isn’t a-- WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? I’m not even sure if there was EVER a puppet on Mr. Show*. David wasn’t even a guest on Crank Yankers at this point! SO WHAT THE FUCK? To this day whenever mutual pals from that board get together and watch a movie or show and a puppet appears we make a joke about this guy. Good story? No? Fuck you.
Other stuff about this show: When it originally aired on Cartoon Network it was a little bit longer than the Adult Swim version. There’s a missing scene. I think it’s David trying to play an improv game with a mummy or something. At one point I had it on tape, but I’m not sure I kept it. Sorry.
*sorry to be coy here, but I do know of at least one puppet on Mr. Show, episode 204 there is brief footage of Grass Valley Greg putting on a puppet show for his staff. This CAN’T be the source of the confusion, can it? It’s literally like, 5 seconds.
MAIL BAG
This’ll teach me to skip a day cuz this really piled up. Thanks, guys. I love all the attention. It is my favorite thing.
I never really saw oblongs as something for the hot topic set. They had Invader Zim and Squee for that kind of shit. Oblongs feel like it was always directly targeting me: the shut-in comedy nerd who would appreciate will ferrell and the sklars being in a thing. Since they ended up doing the exact same show with Janeane Garofalo and David Cross a few years later it seems like that was the goal.
Yeah, I guess that also makes sense. There were a few elements that were kinda gothy but this show was mostly just Angus Oblong ahem, clowning around (puckering mouth to stifle laughter like Chris Elliott in Cabin Boy)
What are your thoughts on the other adult animation blocks of the past couple decades? Spike's notriously failed attempt. Animation Domination. Apparently Syfy has had their own going?
Spike was irredeemably bad. People think this shit is easy. Animation Domination is sorta legit, but it’s anchored by mostly crap. That ADHD thing was kinda good and underrated. Is that still going on? I wish I were more diligent about watching/recording that. Some of them bumpers were good. Also, we mustn’t forget MTV’s oddities. They were kinda the first cable network to court Adult Animation as their thing. They deserve some kind of credit for that. I’m sure they’re doing fine.
I'm having a nice big thing of spaghetti for dinner with some chicken parm? Jealous?
I’ve never had those are they good
What does Ephemera mean? Why is this happenening? Why aren't you talking about 10 Home Movies episodes in a row like a good boy.
In dude time, my friend. In dude time
What would be your Adult Swim dream come true?
Having a complete archive of Adult Swim blocks on a harddrive like Don Giller has with his Letterman archive. Even the commercials and shit. I know of a guy who was a regular taper of the entire block from night 1 but I’m not sure he kept up with it when they went nightly. I should ask him if he still has his tapes, huh?
That or they bring back the BUILD YOUR OWN DVD thing but with blu-rays and you can make your own bumps, which was a different thing they had. THEY SHOULD COMBINE THEM. And you can master it in SD if you wanna put 10 hours of stuff on a disk.
All this is archival bullshit dork shit. Real answer: Clay Croker comes back from the dead and every block is hosted by Space Ghost. That’d be it, right?
If anyone has genuine/better answers please write in with them I wanna keep this conversation going. ‘kay?
McDonalds reintroduces limited edition Adult Swim Toys. You can get them all (plus an extra to keep wrapped for collectors purposes) but you have to spend 20 dollars at McDonalds to grab them all. This is the last day of the promotion. You have to personally eat everything you buy but you can take it home. You can only buy one of each food item. What are you getting? I know the longer the mailbag message is the quicker you are inclined to give some glib remark but indulge this one for once.
Oh wow. I’m literally going to take this seriously. I’d roll in as breakfast was ending. Get myself a McChicken Biscuit and a Bacon Egg & Cheese McGriddle, hashbrowns and a Coffee. Gobble that knob on down. Wipe my mouth with a napkin. It’s lunchtime, bitch. Big Mac, Large Fries, BIG ass soda. You feel me, dude? Lemme tally up. Okay, probably need more. 20 piece nugget. Take that home cuz I’m probably gonna have to save some for dinner. That’s probably 20 bucks right there, especially if you go to the McDonalds on Burnside where all the menu items are more expensive because of the amount of security they have to hire (did you know that different McDonalds have different prices even in the same city? I didn’t until very recently). If this somehow doesn’t satisfy my price point I get a Vanilla shake and eat it anally DURING my BIG D squirt sesh, so it’ll spend as little time in my body as possible. Wait, do I get something for this? I might do this tomorrow just cuz. It sounds like a funky thing to do
Do you think you'll open an Adult Swim mueseum at some point? You seem to be the only steward of its history.
Unless I’m hired to by a large corporation, probably not. Also I don’t think I actually have much in the way of merch other than DVDs. I stopped being a DVD completist at some point around Freaknick The Musical. Oh, I never EVER bought a Robot Chicken DVD, EVER. I literally had a nightmare once that one appeared in my collection.
Hey! Please keep us abreast any time you put more of your garbage on eBay. Maybe you can put your wedding dress on there, you big girl.
Fucking sexist/trasphobic behavior.
Check out my eBay auctions I got season 18 of NCIS up there and some other things :)
The Ripping Friends blow chunks. I don't care if a rapist or the opposite of a rapist (a virgin who volunteers, lol) made it. It sucks a high hard one like when Ozzy banged the Cheiftan's Wife in that Black Sabbath TV Funhouse cartoon. Tell me more.
Tell you more?
Name one rap song you tolerate lol. You can't say anything by weird al or marky mark.
I guess I like the song the pest sings from the motion picture The Pest
Are there any good podcasts on adult swim?
The official one hosted by Matt Harrigan is good, but I’ve only bounced around on it. I don’t know if there’s any formal recap ones. I simply don’t know!
HE'S GIVING HIGH HARD ONE TO CHEIFTAN'S WIFE? UH OH!
Buddy, you are BANNED for LIFE from my MAIL BAG! You drive me CRAZY!
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kickingitwithkirk · 3 years ago
Text
Paschal Moon
Summary: Jensen finds crossing the tracks isn’t always a bad thing
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Astronomer!Reader
Word Count: 2200
Warnings: some angst, really bad punning(sorry) divorce, cheating, innuendos, cursing, reader says shit like I do in real life🤣
Square Filled: @winchesterandbeyondbingo -midnight @spnmixedbingo -secret dating @spnaubingo -wet dream @j3bingo -camping @howbadcanitbebingo -cliche galore
*Moldavite
*no Beta-all mistakes are mine
*photos found online
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It was Saturday night and once again Jensen found himself the proverbial third wheel.
Jared and Genevieve meant well, dragging him everywhere with them since his filing for divorce, wanting to keep him from brooding at home with a bottle when not with his kids.
And it wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy socializing, that wasn’t the problem, it was knowing it would be an evening filled with repetitive I'm so sorry and the look that sent him straight to the open bar first for many a shot nowadays.
Feeling the slight buzz he needed to deal, Jensen put on his game face and with another tumbler of liquid courage in hand made the rounds; chatting amicably with various groups, catching up with old friends.
Things were going pretty well until some dumbfuck with more alcohol than brains turned to Genevieve loudly blurting they’d heard the reason for the divorce was Danneel had been making the rounds with guy’s with more sizable assets..
That’s when her moose sized husband bellowed in the jerks face to shut their unprepossessing cake hole.
Jensen takes the momentary distraction to escape out a side door before he gives into the impulse and punches the sonuvabitch with the double entendre slammed it shut crossed over to the riverside railing and gripping it in both hands wrung it like a chicken neck.
The unexpected swish of fabric made Jensen shift his focus spying a glass half full of liquid being held out in front of him, “looks like you could use this more than me.”
He turns, finding himself gazing into the eyes of the tall drink of water he’d noticed throughout the evening.
Glancing at the glass again she laughed, “I’m not slipping you a mickey,” lifting said glass to her lips he watched her throat ungulate, making Jensen Jr. rise to attention.
“See Peaches, I’m not some crazy charity stalker.”
He took the glass and felt a spark as his fingers brushed hers, “thanks, I wasn’t actually thinking..that,” threw back the rest of the liquid appreciating the smooth slide down his throat, “it’s been a pretty shitty evening.”
“Preaching to the choir honey child. I’m here ‘cause my second cousin on my mama’s side girl broke up with him and now I know why.”
She bends over giving Jensen a fantastic view of her breasts artfully showcased in her cocktail dress retrieves a bottle, “that motherfucker thought he could pimp me out for a promotion!”
She points the bottle at him, “what the hell is it with people? That having a ring on it,” she grabs his left wrist holding it up so the lights glint off the band he hasn’t been able to remove yet, “means absofuckinglutely nothing?”
“Now you're preaching to the choir,” Jensen can’t keep the bitter note out of his voice as she refilled the glass, “my soon to be ex’s been doing that while I was working,” his shoulders dropped, feeling deflated.
“Holy shit, you’re the guy everyone is gossiping about! Is it true your wife’s been running around ‘cause you couldn’t find her clit with a map, GPS and a fucking bullseye paint on it? Hell, most gals just use a vibrator if they wanna get off that bad.”
There was no disguising his blushing this time, even the tips of his elfin ears felt hot and he’d swear they were glowing in the dim lighting as she continues, “or that your package is really,” she wriggled her pinky finger, “don’t get me wrong, no shame if you know how to use it.”
Jensen’s eyes widened in shock and she slapped her hand over her mouth, “oh fuck, I’m so sorry, my mouth doesn’t know how to stop once I get started, blame it on my upbringing.”
Jensen took a drink figuring he’d need a stiffener since there’s no telling what she’d say to his one word question, “upbringing?”
She grinned at him, “you know what they say, you can take the girl outta the trailer park..” Jensen's expression became bewildered, “yep, I’m that relative they always warned you about.”
“Little late with the warning sweetheart.”
She burst out laughing and Jensen found himself doing the same.
***
Later
They were sitting with their backs against the building working on another bottle she five finger discounted.
Here he was, a forty-three year old man normally in control ‘cause in his profession showing emotions that weren't scripted was a sign of weakness that could be exploited but this woman, whom he’s never met before, had upended his control, making him feel like he’s thirteen year old having his first crush, had him talking and laughing and before he knew it told her everything that’d actually happened.
“That sucks balls and not in the good way!”
“Kicker is she wants alimony.”
“But you caught her doing the beast with two backs..” Jensen hums in response taken another drink before handing her the glass.
“Peaches, I’m no lawyer but I’d say that ain’t fucking happening,” she refills the glass, “and no offense but your ex makes those whores back home look almost pious, they have the decency not to fuck in your bed..most of the time.”
Jensen rubbed his face, “I can’t believe I’ve told a complete stranger about my problems.”
“Sometimes it’s easier to unburden yourself to someone you don’t know.”
“I haven’t even told my family or Jared!”
“And Jared is?”
“The guy who has my back no matter what.”
“That’s probably why, you’re afraid that if he knows what really happened it'll diminish how he sees you.”
Jensen looked at her confused, “guys POV.. if I caught my wife fucking around in our marital bed saying it’s cause I couldn’t keep her satisfied in the sack, I’d not wanna discuss it either but I know it’s,” wiggles pinky again, “horseshit.”
“How..”
“You dress left..and I’ve never had a phone stand up to say hello.”
Jensen found himself stumbling to come up with some kind of coherent response.
“Ahh, come on Peaches, you know you’ve given a lotta people wet dreams about you and your alter ego.”
“Why do you keep calling me that?”
“Cause you’ve got the juiciest peach of an ass I’ve ever seen and I wouldn’t kick you outta bed for eating crackers,” she says winking at him.
“Jensen!” They both look up at a fuming Jared coming out the side door. “Fuck man, I’ve been looking all over for you, we’re ready to go,” heads towards them as a church’s bells ring twelve times.
“Well pooh, I was having fun,” she says as they stood up, “guess it’s time to leave the ball and for me to head back to the pumpkin patch.” She gives Jared a nod walking towards the open door.
“WAIT!” Jensen hollars and runs to her, “you can’t just leave this way..I don’t even know your name.”
“Give me your phone,” he pulls it out of his jacket pocket making her smirk seeing its size, enters her digits, “give me a ring if you ever cross the tracks Peaches,” winking at him she then disappears into the crowded room.
“Who was that?” Jared asked as Jensen glanced at her contact info.
“Cinderella.”
***
It took weeks of Jared’s continual nagging about getting back on the horse for Jensen to decide to call.
Yet he didn’t.
Another two weeks went by when Jared flat out told him to stop acting like a teenage girl made him whip out his phone and pull up her number before going to shut it off again when Jared snatched it and held it over his head out of Jensen’s reach making him squawk taps call.
Two rings and her voice came through the speaker.“Peaches, you’re slower than molasses in January crawling uphill giving a girl a holler.”
Jensen’s irritation with Jared mellowed hearing her voice, agreeing to meet Friday at a hole-in-the-wall for lunch where he wouldn’t be recognized.
Lunch became dinner, dinner became bar hopping which lead to sneaking into Blue Hole to go skinny dipping and doing things that would scare fish, detouring to Waffle House for chili around four in the morning, ends with him spending the weekend at her place.
***
Jensen was nervous. It didn’t happen often but tonight was extra special.
A few months back she’d bounded into his home excited about an upcoming celestial event and field trip her astronomy class was taking and she really, really, really wanted him to go even though they agreed on keeping their relationship secretive until his divorce was finalized.
It struck him that it'd be the perfect night to do something he’d literally been wanting to since their first date so he said yes while mentally making other arrangements for the night.
***
“Peaches, this isn’t the way to the observatory.”
“We’re not going there sweetheart.”
“I realize that Captain Obvious! What I want to know is wtf..are you trying to get me fired? I have a class..”
“That Dr. Carnegie is graciously covering.”
“Why is..what did you do Jensen?”
“I went to the head of your department,” she groaned, “and inquired if it was possible for someone else to supervise because I’d planned a special night with my girl.”
“What happened to us keeping on the DL? Carnegie is the biggest blabbermouth..everyone on the planet’s gonna know about us by morning!”
“We don’t have to anymore ‘cause my divorce was finalized this morning.”
“WHAT!” She indignantly squawked,”why the hell didn’t you tell me..”
Jensen bemusedly listens to her ongoing rant, picking up her hand kissing it’s back entwined their fingers as he drove on for another hour to Inks Lake State Park paying for an overnight camping permit.
“Since when do you camp out, ‘cause the one time I asked, you gave me stink face when I mentioned a tent.”
“Since the day you bounded in all excited, asking me to come with you and I wanted to make tonight special.”
She leaned over kissing his cheek, “thank you. I sincerely appreciate you compromising your creature comforts for me.”
Jensen scratched the back of his head, “well, we’re not technically camping out, I got an air mattress that fits in the truck bed.”
***
Jensen gaze’s up at the moon awash with a pink hue, “I know it's a yearly thing so what makes this one so special?” The question made her lift her head from the telescope’s eyepiece, an amused expression crossed her features taken in his reclining position on the air mattress in the moonlight.
“Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson? Or do you want me to paint you like one of those french girls?”
Jensen peers down at his unintentional position: one hand tucked behind his head, bowed legs splayed, one knee slightly bent, his other hand lying near the sliver of skin peaking out between his dark henley and low riding jeans.
She walks towards the truck, “what makes this years,” sets a foot on the back bumper, “so special,” grips the tailgate and hops over onto the mattress, “is the proximity of the moons orbit,” on her hands and knees crawls forward, “to the earth,” placing her hands on either side of his shoulders she straddles Jensen’s hips slowly sitting down, “is ultra close and..whatthehellisinyourpants!!”
Jensen quickly grabbed her waist, preventing her from hitting the sidewall when she jumped off him, “that’s the other surprise I planned for tonight.”
“That’d better be a sex toy and not Peyronie's disease,” Jensen gave her an bewildered look, “what, I like your cock as is, curves just right for my pleasure.”
“Your mouth is gonna be the death of me..”
“..but what a way to go?”
Jensen flopped on his back groaning, “this isn’t how I imagined tonight going.”
“So let’s pretend we’re on set, I’ve flubbed the scene and do another take.”
“That’s why I love you,” he says, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear, “the fact everything that pops into my head comes flying out of my mouth?” Jensen chuckles, “yeah well, I like you just as you are and would be the luckiest man alive if you’d marry me.” He reaches into his pocket pulling out the box she sat on and opens it revealing the ring he’d chosen takes her hand sliding it on her finger.
Her silence was almost deafening, having never known her to be without some kind of a response, “getting nervous here sweetheart,” Jensen says, “I know we’ve only been together for a short time and I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way to answer...”
“What’s the stone?”
“Umm..it’s a Moldivite,” she has this expression he wasn’t sure what to make of it. “I know it’s not conventional and if you want to pick something..else..” Jensen broke off watching her eyes fill with tears.
“You gave me this ring, not because you’re being cheap, but ‘cause you know what the significance of its origin would mean to me. You’ve never put on air’s with me, never been anything other than yourself, a genuine, caring, funny as hell, beautiful soul who couldn’t be any more perfect and I’m saying yes!”
SPN TAGS: @donnaintx @lyarr24 @flamencodiva @b3autyfuldisast3r @lassie-bird @nancymcl @spnbaby-67
Dean/Jensen @thoughts-and-funnies @stoneyggirl @akshi8278 @beabutterfly987
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plush-anon · 3 years ago
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You worked at joanns? 😍 dream job
In all fairness, a large part (and I do mean a LARGE part) of why I enjoyed working at Joanns were the managers.
The store manager was a guy named Richard, one of maybe two or three men who worked there total, and this man was practically a saint as far as retail goes.
This was a man who would, with no hesitation, get on the floor to help customers, or hop on the registers to check customers' purchases out, or pop on to the cutting counter to cut fabric. He remembered the names of regulars, would chat and smile while getting shit done, and was the type of guy to speak slowly and softly when we had shitstains explode at us measly peons for not giving them the full cost of an item back in a return (ex $200) when they used a coupon to purchase an item to begin with and only paid a portion of the cost (ex. $150). No joke, this actually happened to me on Black Friday with a man who stood at about 6 foot with a crewcut and a snarl (the military Karen, if you would)
Richard, of course, stood at about 6 foot 5 inches, and reminded me of a ginger grizzly bear in some ways. Very few customers continued to be assholes when they asked to speak to the manager and Richard came over, smiling wide. He encouraged us to chat with the customers while we worked the cutting counter - it was a good way to learn about what they were making, encouraged general conversation and lent itself to a better environment for everyone, worker and customer alike, so we weren't just awkwardly standing in silence the whole time.
The assistant store manager (aka his second in command - we had two other assistant managers, but she wielded more power than both of them) was Farrah, and she was basically Cool Wine Aunt, but with weed. She was open about smoking it (but not in a pressure-the-underlings kind of way, but more of a 'yeah, it calms me down' kind of way) but never on the clock, and was just really chill in general. She was also a 'jump on the registers' type of manager, and on occasion would take the closing staff out to get a drink from the texmex place next to us in the shopping center, and cover one for each of us - particularly during the Holiday Clusterfuck of October, November, and December (their Frozen Kahlua Mudlslide was my alcoholic drink of choice - they also had these spicy chicken strips that were amazing with it, but I digress).
Both of them were amazing people who would support and back us up without hesitation (if they weren't dealing with corporate or stock trucks coming in), and both routinely worked 15 to 20 hours UNPAID overtime during the Holiday Clusterfuck so that we the underlings could get more hours without Corporate jumping up our ass about going over budget.
They were also refreshingly upfront in our monthly meetings about profits and meeting them, as well as why company policy was the way it was, and how to work within the boundaries so we got more hours. One of my favorite moments was when they said the fabric sales essentially covered their own cost (production and delivery); the rest of the cheap crap in the store was what covered our paycheck and electricity, so hawk it as much as you can if you want extra in the bank (paraphrasing here, but that's not that far off what they actually said tbh).
With some Karen-y exceptions, the customers were honestly pretty chill. There were two women from a nearby church who bought well over 200 yards of cut fleece to make no-sew fleece blankets for children and the poor in December (it took forever to do, but they were so cheerful about it and told some funny anecdotes in between, kept the counter clear as soon as they were cut, etc. Took them three carts to haul everything to the register XD).
There was the slew of quilters making everything from baby blankets to anniversary gifts to quilts for their grandkids attending the local university that they could wear to football games in the colder weather, while still showing team pride. They always bought quarters and eighths and the end of the bolt for half price, digging thru our remnants bin for something they might have missed they could get for half price. They always talked about what they were working on, and spoke in great detail on their kids or cousins or niblings or grandkids. I saw so many pictures on phones, in wallets, and they loved them to absolute pieces.
There were cosplayers making their first costume to comicon, halloween goers trying their hand at making their own outfits, and a few furries making custom suits for order or just updating their own personal outfit. There were the usual school and church Christmas plays that needed costumes, and folks making custom table runners and place settings for family holiday meals.
One notable young man bought out 30+ yards of our 65" inch wide bolt felt for JEWELRY projects he was making as a part of his business and as a part of his art program (you can major in art with a concentration in jewelry making, and he was using it for that). He didn't leave a card, but the pictures he showed us were STUNNING.
We had a few elderly mothers come in with their daughters, to pick out fabrics so they could make their own wedding dresses, or quinceanera outfits, or veils; they showed us the patterns they had, or the pictures they were basing the designs off of, and all of them were STUNNING. (One came back in with the finished dress in the bag, this intricately beaded poofy dress that had to have taken days, hot pink and shiny).
We had local restaurant owners pop in for re-upholstery projects and curtains and vinyl; same with teachers and deck dads and furniture restoration workers that would gush about the design, what they had planned. Some would bicker with their spouses on the pattern, but it felt good-natured on the whole.
We had some elderly men come in to peer over our sewing machines - "How much it run for? My wife's birthday is coming up and her old machine's about done, and I want to surprise her. She had a Singer, but she hates the electronic screens on some of these newer ones, they hurt her eyes." - and moms coming in to sew some custom bed sheets for their kids - "My son really likes the new My Little Pony show, but he's a little shy about it. Do you think the blue's okay? Only he like yellow more, but they don't have any back there and he doesn't MIND blue really but - Actually scratch that, how wide is the fabric? My pattern says it needs to be at LEAST 22 inches wide, does it say on the box?" - and people coming up with some WILD craft ideas that were always a delight to hear them gush about - "So this MAY seem crazy, but I can turn these plastic pumpkin trick-or-treat pails into SNOWMEN heads with felt like this. We fill them with treats for the kids since we don't have a fireplace and they like it fine, but someone said I should sell these on Etsy and people really like them! But I've run out of pumpkins, and you have NO idea how happy I am that you guys still have some left."
The group we had to work with was also pretty crafty; a few were chronic call-outs, some a bit lazy, some perpetually done-with-this-nonsense, but we were mostly on the same page on shift, and all of us were crafty as heck. The employee discount was a blessing AND a curse, lemme tell you.
Stock was the best part, for me. Hours before the store opened at 9 AM, we would rip open the boxes and stuff everything onto the shelves, organizing anything the closing shift missed the night before along the way, updating new stickers or shuffling pegs over for new product arrangement, etc. We could listen to music or podcasts as we worked, and I ended up impressing some of them bc of how fast I tore through everything some mornings (the music definitely helped out there).
I was actually about to be promoted to assistant manager after 6 months, but then I got my job with the university, and they had federal health benefits AND dental, so... yeah, no contest there. Richard actually laughed when I told him I'd been hired at the university and was giving my two week notice, since it meant he didn't have to do the slew of paperwork that accompanied new assistant manager hires. He congratulated me on the job, especially the health benefits - he said that was a perk worth leaving any job here for. I nearly cried with relief that he wasn't mad.
He and Farrah chipped in and got me a small music box that plays Man of La Mancha's Dream the Impossible Dream on my last day. It still sits on my desk at work.
It was honestly my favorite retail job out of the bunch I've suffered through. Surprising at first, since I initially received a rejection email bare HOURS after my interview with Farrah, but about a month later (as I trawled endlessly through interview after interview, desperate for anything those first few months ), I got a call back from them asking if I was still interested (which I was, bc hey a job!). They remembered me specifically bc I had missed my bus to the interview, called ahead to let them know I would be late, then walked the whole way there in the rain to get there. (It was only about a mile and a half away, so not a terrible journey, but flooding is an issue in our flat-ass city; I looked like a drenched afghan hound holding a useless umbrella, so enjoy that imagery).
They were particularly impressed by the calling-ahead part.
Unfortunately, both of them ended up moving on to different paths over the year after I left - apparently they had been friends with benefits (? I say hesitantly, since I ran into one of my coworkers at an art show later on and she spilled the beans there - she was a bit flighty in nature though, and got caught up in gossip a LOT, so who knows. Lovely brocade custom projects though), and his ex girlfriend had called corporate on them and got both fired.
I think Farrah came back some time later, but the damage was done after that - the new manager came in and operated SOLELY to corporate policy. A LOT went to pieces in terms of store cleanliness, order, and general camaraderie after that - the new fabric counter folks look and sound dead inside, and barely interact with customers (not even a 'whatcha making' in passing, which is kind of sad - the stories I got helped to pass the time, and kept me from using up all of my Set Conversation Phrases for customers that actually WOULD leave us standing in silence). Corporate also stopped some of the smaller store policies that made our job easier and gave the customers a little something extra (the 'end-of-the-bolt' discount - if, after the customer orders say, 2 yards of fabric on the bolt, and there's say, a half yard "remnant" left on the bolt, we can sell them the remnant for half-price. A LOT of quilters LOVED this, and we did too, since it saved us from filling out the remnant tag and printing a sticker later on).
Just goes to show how important good management is in a business; especially when it can kick a store previously part of the top 50 stores in the NATION (while being a medium store at that - smaller place, NOT Hobby Lobby size like the Large stores) to something much less pleasant. I could be rose-goggling the situation thought - retail is still retail, no matter how nice some aspects are - but it still sticks with me as to how good he experience was even taking into account that it WAS minimum wage retail.
Food for thought, lads, food for thought.
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byunsboyz · 5 years ago
Text
Jamais Vu - Part One
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Exo Fanfiction
Baekhyun x Female Reader
Warnings: some light swears.
Genre: Fluff/Angst?
W/C: 2560
Part Two Part Three
_____________________________________________________________
Everybody has that ‘what if’. The one who got away....not quite regret, but thoughts that would drift by late at night when insomnia has set in and you’re deep into your latest existential crisis.
What if things had been different? What if you had said what had been on the tip of your tongue that day?
Byun Baekhyun was your what if. 
He had been your best friend in college and the only person you had truly loved.
You had no reason to run into Byun Baekhyun. You didn’t share classes. You an Accounting major and him Architecture. 
You didn’t run in the same social circles, he was part of a frat house and you opted to remain in dorms with your small group of friends. 
But what had brought you together was music, meeting in your second year while working at the campus radio station.
You had applied for the role of Production Director on a whim, looking for a hobby outside of classes and studying and also benefited from the extra credit of managing the finances of the small college club. 
The first time you met you were positive you’d never understand him. After all, you were complete opposites. He was loud and outgoing; always the centre of jokes and a far cry the quiet loner you were perceived to be. 
But from the first show you ran with him, he has surprised you. Baekhyun was the On-Air Presenter for the Sunday night Jazz & Blues segment and as soon as the light would turn red he’d take on a completely different persona.
His voice would become soft and melodic as he’d whisper sweet nothings into the microphone about the classics of Miles Davies and Frank Sinatra. 
You’d often be on the same late-night shift together; downing coffee after coffee, discussing your favourite artists and organising records until the early hours.
He wasn’t exhausting like the rest of your extroverted friends, his presence giving you a warm sense of comfort. 
Without noticing you became joined at the hip for the rest of your college days. 
Not to the point that you were a regular at his crazy frat parties but you’d hang out at the radio station, would marathon movie after movie at each other’s dorms on the weekends and crammed for all your major test’s together. 
You hadn’t even realised you were in love with him until you’d just graduated, you even had the crazy idea to confess.
Then the news broke that he was moving to a different country.
He had been in two minds on whether to go. You’d always talked about living and working in the same city and he’d been concerned about you being alone and him going back on his promise.
Honestly. Who achieves their dream job at a globally famous architecture firm and worries about their dumb friend during the happiest moment of their life?!
You remembered that day vividly.
‘“Of course you should go! It’s your dream, Baek” you forced the enthusiasm into your voice.
Inside, you could feel your heart tearing at the seams. You weren’t selfish enough to show him just how much you would miss him, as much as you had wanted to.
He was always too considerate of your feelings. 
This wasn’t some Rom-Com TV show, where Baekhyun would suddenly declare he couldn’t live without you. He wasn’t like Rachel choosing not to get on the plan for Ross.
You’d cried so hard the night he’d left. Almost texting the words you’d be aching to tell him for the last three years. 
‘I am in love with you’. 
But the alcohol had knocked you out before you could hit send.
He’d promised to keep in touch but over the years you drifted. As life and work became more and more hectic it devolved from video chatting on the weekends, to texting occasionally. 
Fading into receiving a generic happy birthday post on social media and then nothing at all.
You’d pushed him to the back of your mind as you told yourself over and over that this is what happens as you get older. 
And with that ten years had passed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You wake with a start. Back aching from where you’d fallen asleep in an awkward position while watching a random ASMR video the night prior.
*Clatter*  
Your sleep-filled eyes search the room, trying to locate the source of the noise. 
*Thud Thud Thud*
It appears to be coming through the wall behind your headboard.
Could someone be moving into the apartment next door? It’s been entirely empty the whole time you’ve been living here, about seven months now.
You've enjoyed the quiet solace of not having to share the walls with another person. Especially being one of the only two apartments on the upper floor, it was one of the reasons you love your apartment.
It’s also located near the subway and tucked far back enough on the outskirts of the city that it’s almost peaceful. There’s also a small cafe bar and a couple of small stores that remind you of the town where you grew up.
*Bang*
You groan again at the loud noises as you stretch your arms over your head and wonder about the people moving in next door.
Maybe a couple? Or a young family. It could even be a cute guy. You snort at the thought. Yeah right. What kind of a psycho moves into an apartment in the early morning anyway?!
You reach under your pillow for your phone to check the time. 8:30 am! SHIT. You overslept and if you don’t leave your apartment in the next ten minutes you’ll miss your train to work!
With no time for a shower, you rush to your bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth.
As you drag a brush through your hair and pull it up into a simple, neat ponytail you start forming a contingency plan…
‘Skip the usual to-go coffee at Dunkin’ and settle for the instant stuff at work’ you think to yourself, ‘As soon as I get to work, throw on some BB cream and mascara with the time I’ll gain abandoning my daily vanilla latte with coconut milk…’.
You sniff sadly at the thought as you step into one of your tailored dresses, fumbling with the awkward zipper in the back.
Within 10 minutes you’re flying out the door and straight into the elevator. Using the short amount of time to button up your sweater and glance through your bag to check that you’ve got everything you’ll need for the day.
You’re in your own thoughts as you stride towards the lobby doors, and almost walk straight into your building manager.
“Oh! Good morning, Mr Sato!” you gasp in surprise.
“Good morning!” he smiles obliviously, not realising that you almost knocked him flying. You move to step around him as he continues. “There’s a package of yours with Ralph” (the doorman) “and I also wanted to let you know about a new tenant moving into the place next to yours...”
“Uh-huh,  of course, that’s great!” You cut him off, waving your hands apologetically “I am so sorry. Please excuse me, I’m late for work!” you call out behind you as you make a mad dash out of the building to the subway station.
You make your train by the skin of your teeth, panting from the final sprint from the ticket gate to the platform. Feeling glad you skipped the makeup as you would have surely sweat a good portion of it off by now.
You currently work for a large accountancy firm Kim & Partners. You could have worked within a finance department of any company as most qualified accountants tend to do but you love the challenges and variety of working with different industries and clients every day.
You manage a small team of four and specialise in bookkeeping for small to medium enterprise, one of the smaller departments in the company but you have a pretty large client base and enjoy the satisfaction of helping others and providing a clear and efficient service.
“We are transferring you to manage corporate accounts,” your boss Mr Kim announces in the morning management meeting. You feel like someones just pulled a step from beneath your footing.
You were aware that your manager Mr Choi had wanted to transfer you out to provide more specialised management accountancy for larger corporate clients but so far you’d been convincing enough from the commission and reputation you’ve built for Kim & Partners to be able to continue as you were.
“Uh, thank you for the opportunity, Mr Kim, I-” you begin shakily, looking for the words or a reason to decline the transfer.
“Fantastic! You’ll handover to Jaehyun for the rest of today and you’ll start in corporate accounting tomorrow!” your boss claps his hands together enthusiastically and with that you chicken out of any further protest and nod your head.
Jaehyun is your second in command and honestly, he really deserves this promotion. You couldn’t think of someone more diligent and detail-oriented.
The rest of your day is uneventful. The handover goes incredibly smoothly despite a very surprised Jaehyun but the more things are explained, the more you realise that this progression will be good for everyone.
You’ll still oversee Jaehyun and his team but allow him more room to make decisions and develop while you work on the larger corporate accounts that keep your company in business.
There was even a hint at the opportunity to become a junior partner, which by your calculations would make you one of the youngest in the company.
You leave work feeling excited, passing up on celebratory drinks with your (old) team so that they can have more fun without their boss present.
“COME ONNNN” Hani, your junior accounts clerk had whined when you announced that you wouldn't be joining “You’re not a regular boss, you’re a COOL boss!”.
You appreciate the sentiment but everyone likes to complain about work and management when they drink and you wouldn't like to take that away from them.
You sit on the train heading back to your apartment feeling optimistic, texting your best friend Aria about the day and making plans for your own celebratory drinks.
You’re walking through the lobby of your apartment building, heading towards Ralph’s desk to collect the package Mr Sato mentioned this morning. Probably the new nutribullet you’d ordered while drunk Amazon shopping a couple of weeks back.
Normally you’d cancel the delivery but drunk you was really onto something this time. You giggle at a dumb vine quote Aria sends you and as you finish typing up your response-
 THWACK! You hit a wall, falling ungracefully backwards onto your butt.
You grunt as the air gets knocked out of you when you make contact with rough carpet of the lobby.
“Seriously!” another voice snaps you back to reality as you realise you didn’t walk into a wall but another person.
 A now very annoyed person, carrying what you assume was their groceries as you glance over at the produce and cans rolling around on the floor between you.
“I- oh my gosh, I am so sorry!” you stammer as you scramble to your knees and start frantically picking up some of the items in front of you. A can of beans, a bag of pasta and a lone orange trying to make its escape. 
“I wasn’t even looking, I promise I’ll pay for anything dama-”, You begin as you look up, expecting to see Mr Sato or one of the other tenants of the building.
The rest of your sentence dies in the back of your throat.
“Baekhyun?...”
His name leaves your lips as a whisper, heart thumping against your chest as you almost drop the items in your hands.
He’s not looking in your direction, you hear him grumble something under his breath that you can’t quite make out as he scoops the remainder of his groceries into a battered paper bag.
Is it really him? Did you hit your head and you’re actually unconscious and hallucinating about a guy you used to know and haven’t seen in ten years?
It sure looks like him. A few extra lines crease his forehead, his hair is a darker shade of chocolate than you remember with a few flecks of silver glinting at the centre of his parting.
You glance to his left hand searching for the mole that sits beneath his thumbnail but it’s not there. Maybe it was on his right hand?
He finally looks up as if finally registering that you’re kneeling on the floor next to him, his lips part slightly in surprise as he looks you over. A tiny mole sits just above the corner of his upper lip. It really is him!
Before your mind has time to catch up you’re throwing your arms around him, allowing your excitement to overtake all of your other senses. You feel him instantly tense up.
“H-hey!” he shouts, pushing you off him abruptly. “What the hell are you doing!”
You shoot to your feet, shaken by the sharpness of his tone you take a step back to create some space. Your throat feels dry all of a sudden. His eyes look you over but there’s no familiarity in them, they’re so cold you almost shiver.
He takes a step towards you, “How do you know my name?” his tone sharp and accusing, “Are you some kind of stalker?”.
Your cheeks start to burn as the realisation set’s in that Baekhyun has no idea who you are. You struggle to swallow the lump forming in your throat as you search for a response. Words seem to fail you right now.
“Y/N, is everything alright?” you hear the worried voice of Mr Sato, by the time you remember to blink he’s already standing between the two of you. You look up at him, dumbstruck as you fight back the sharp prickles in the corner of your eyes.
He looks back and forth between you and Baekhyun, trying to piece together what has taken place. You realise you’re still holding Baekhyun’s groceries, practically hugging the bag of pasta to your chest and your cheeks burn even hotter. 
You hear your name spoken again but it’s not Mr Sato’s voice this time, and you don’t have the nerve to look at Baekhyun again.
So you do the only thing you can think of and thrust the items you're holding at Mr Sato. Run as fast as you can to the stairwell, and find the nearest hole to jump into, aka your apartment.
Your knees ache as you force yourself up each flight. You can’t even remember the last time you used the stairwell and when you finally reach the threshold of your apartment you collapse against the door.
What on earth were you thinking?
What gave you the right to assume anyone would recognise you after ten years?
What was he even doing here? As that final thought crosses your mind someone knocks at your door.
You jump at the abrupt noise, chest still tight from the anxiety (or the running). But there’s no way you’re answering the door.
Your legs still feel like jelly and you really fear that Mr Sato has come to scold you or worse Baekhyun has followed you.
But he wouldn’t know which apartment you lived in. Would he?
You pull yourself to your feet and glance through the peephole.
You watch as Baekhyun turns away from your front door and disappears towards the next apartment.
No way.
*Slam*
Shit.
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birdy-bat-writes · 4 years ago
Text
Plumerias
Heyyyyyy, So, I wrote this thing for @anothertimdrakestan because I was so in love with that ship she wrote. Elle, I literally love you and you are my soulmate so Bart can like share you with me but I first soulmate dibs. ❤(ˆ‿ˆԅ) I really hope you like it!
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Today was supposed to be about relaxation and letting loose. You were about to meet your friends at the beach for a little retreat. Sounds great, right? So, explain why your car’s ‘check engine’ had to start flashing on your way there. What a whump. The car won’t start…. I guess I have to call her.
Miles away, the phone of your amazing Tumblr soulmate phone rang (shameless self-promotion). “Hey, Elle. On your way?”
“Dude, my car won’t start.”
“Seriously? Wait, where are you?”
“Oh, um, outside the Dunkin Donuts on Field street.”
“Dunkin Donuts on Field street. Got it. I’m going to come get you. Wait there.” Unbeknownst to you or her, someone else was paying an awful lot of attention to our conversation. Your one and only, Bart Allen. He heard your name in conversation and was instantly drawn in. He had been crushing on you for months now, and because you both were adorably oblivious (him more than you), he hadn’t yet realized that you felt the same way. Nonetheless, he took that moment to take off.
“Dunkin Donuts. Field street.” He really only showed up because of you, and if you couldn’t be where he was, he might as well find a way to you. And besides, he just got an opportunity to be all heroic and save your day. Wally and your friend only got to know when a gust of wind blew sand onto them.
“So, I’m assuming Bart’s going to get her now.” Riya said, brushing sand off of her.
“Wait, he didn’t take a car. I’ll call hi-,”
“STOP! I sense shipping opportunities. Let it happen…”
Bart got to the parking lot and saw your car parked by a lamppost. Then the nerves kicked in. You looked so cute dancing in your car. Before walking over to you, he checked out his reflection in the restaurant window and straightened his hair. You saw this though. “Is he… checking himself out in the window? HEY, DORK!” Bart stiffened. Awww his looked so cute with his baseball tee and board shorts.
“Heyyyy, Elle.”
“What are you doing here? I thought Riya was coming to jumpstart my car.” Truth be told, you were quite happy he was there.
“Oh, yeah, well I came here to do that,” And that when it hit him that he didn’t come with a car. Or jumper cables. “but looking at it now, I don’t really know what to do.” You laughed at him.
“My hero.” Sarcasm was evident in your voice. He responded to you sticking his tongue out you. “You’re such a dork.”
“You know it, babe. I’m adorkable.” He said, flashing a bright smile and a wink.
“Oh my god,” You giggled softly. Why does he have to be so darn cute??? “Okay, any suggestions?”
“Let’s get food.”
“I meant to fix the car.”
“Eat first and think better later?” You didn’t even want to argue with that because you were hungry too.
“Alright, I could eat. We’re by Dunkin, want to get something from there?” he nodded. You both went in and ordered quite a bit of food. Bart offered to carry all on the food bags to car but you insisted on carrying some of it and made your way out. Bart met you about two minutes later with the reaming food bag and cup of coffee. That was odd since Bart didn’t like coffee and you don’t remember either of you ordering a beverage.
“This is for you. Iced coffee with cream, no sweetener. Please tell me I got that right.” You were smiling so much.
“You did get it right. How did you know that?”
“I remember hearing you order it sometime.” He remembered a lot of the things you did and said. He can’t pinpoint when or how he heard them but he made it a point to remember the little things just to see you smile. One of the things he loved about you was how your smile was never something as simple as the corners of your mouth turning up. You smiled wholeheartedly with a twinkle in your eyes. It was the type of smile that could light up a whole city, and he lived for it.
“Well, thank you for the coffee, and for remembering.” After that you both sat back and finished your food. The conversations you had were so random, it was hilarious.
Bart: “How is Po not your favorite Teletubby?”
Elle: “How do you have a favorite Teletubby?! They’re creepy!”
***
“I like Ellie.”
“Call me whatever you want.”
“E?”
“Sure.”
“Lele?”
“Sure.” You chuckled at him.
“How about Leelu?”
“I like it.”
“Elle, ma belle?” He did the French accent too. “It means beautiful in French.”
“I know that.” You were stiff as a board and clearly a little shy. *Your heart really went (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥*
***
“Okay, what’s your favorite flower?”
“Hmm, plumeria.”
“Plume-what?”
“It’s the white one with yellow in the center.” Bart still looked very lost, so you decided to show him a picture. You had leaned over to show it to him and didn’t realize quite how close you were until you looked up and met eyes with him. The moment was however interrupted by your phone ringing. “I’ll just take this.”
“I’ll throw the trash away.” You were both slightly blushy heheh. Cuties. Anyway, you answered the phone.
“Hi.”
“How are you not here yet?”
“Well why didn’t you come with a car?!”
“Because your boyfriend was in too much of a hurry to get into a car.”
“He’s not my boyfriend!”
“Yet.”
“What?”
“Never mind that. What was wrong with your car?”
“The check engine light went on, so I checked the engine and everything is fine. I just need to jump-start it.”
“Make Bart do it. Speedsters can produce electric charges high enough to do that.”
“How do you know?”
“Wally does it all the time.”
“So, you use your boyfriend’s powers for this?”
“….Yes.”
***
So, Bart started the car. You made it to the beach without breaking down again and you already felt like that was a victory. You arrived just as the sun was setting too. The water was glowing with gold and orange and high up, you could see the faint glow of stars in the darkening sky. You met with everyone and laid your things down on the beach chairs before heading towards the water. Bart joined you and you walked along the beach. People lit bonfires and the light gave the whole place a warm glow and being there with him felt surreal. *Splash* Surrealism gone. You splashed back. You went back and forth like this and ran to distance yourself from him but being a speedster, he caught you. You both called a truce and sat down where you were, still laughing. You were at a more secluded part of the beach. You were closer to the cliffs and greenery that surrounded this part of the beach, and while you were admiring it, Bart stood up.
“I’ll be right back.” You wondered where he went but he didn’t take long to come back. When you saw him, he had one hand behind his back, and before you could ask, he crouched down next to you and showed you a little white and yellow flower. It was a plumeria. “Tada.” He delicately put it in your hands.
“Oh my gosh, thank you. Where’d you find this?”
“I saw a small tree over there, and I thought the flowers looked like the picture you showed me.”
“I love it.” Gosh, why is he so cute? And caring too??? Only a few moments later he asked you,
“Hey, E, most people pick roses or carnations as their favorite. How come you like this one?”
“In Hawaii, there’s this sort of tradition. If you wear a single plumeria on your right, it means you’re single and if you wear it on your left that means you’re taken. I always thought it was really cute.”
“That is cute.” You’re cute. I love you.
“Hey, Bart?” All or nothing. I can do this.
“Hm?”
“I really like you.” He didn’t say anything. He just smiled really wide, and leaned in. you closed your eyes and felt his lips brush yours. It was sweet and passionate, and when you pulled away you saw his beautiful forest-green eyes. The evening sun brought out every glimmer of gold and olive in the green. “So you like me back then?” He let out a short laugh.
“Yes. Very much.” He looked down at the flower in your hand. “Actually, may I?” he asked, gesturing to the flower. You nodded. Bart tucked a few strands of hair behind your left ear and placed the flower between them. It was really cute- *CLICK*
“What the-?”
“SHIIIIIIIIP!” ‘Twas your crazy friend. She fangirls. Let her have this. She ships it.
“Riya, get back here!”
“Never! This is going in a scrapbook and you can’t stop me!”
End. :D
 Hi, so I know I told you I was writing this Fic but I bet you didn’t know about the Headcanon:
 Because you’re too precious and I love you too much to stop there.
-       You and Bart are literally the cutest couple though.
-       He calls you Leelu, E, Ellie. Smelly Ellie if he’s feeling daring. Hehe.
-       You guys make endless meals of chicken nuggets.
-       He will never and I mean NEVER go to bed without messaging you ‘Goodnight, I love you.’ And at least four emojis.
-       He loves your hair. Sometimes he’ll try to play with it, and you’ll lean back into him. Sometimes you both will just fall asleep there.
-       Can you imagine him trying to read your fanfictions? Aww that would be so cute. Endless teasing.
-       He would constantly be impressed by how smart and creative you are.
-       He would go to all of your games and school events, cheering the loudest.
-       He’s so in love with your eyes. He’s so in love with YOU he’ll just sit sometimes and stare at your face, smiling.
-       You’re the only person who gets to call him Henry. There’s also SO many cute nicknames. Bar-bar, imagine if you called him Bartholomew, call him mew-mew.
-       He would do the Kidflash and Jinx thing but with plumeria instead of roses.
-       I really feel like he would speed up to you wherever you are, kiss you and then run away just because he missed you.
-       So much cuddling. He would LOVE your dog.
-       You radiate tall person energy but you’re actually a smol bean so like imagine the height difference when he kisses you! (hehehe I’m taller than you)
-       He’d lift you up all the time and twirl you around while he kisses you.
-       He hates when you don’t give him attention so if you’re distracted when he’s around, he’ll kiss your neck and cheeks until you focus on him.
-       You guys would be goofy and fun. He’d love your energy.
-       Ice cream dates. Get ice cream on your lips. He’ll kiss it away.
-       Also, a scene:
-       “Okay well, I confessed first.”
-       Well, I kissed you first!”
-       “I said ‘I love you’ first!”
-       “Well, I proposed first!”
-       “What?”
-       *Down on one knee with a ring*
-       That would be you two.
-       Oh, and I won’t be taking pictures of that, I’ll be recording it. It shall play at your wedding.
-       Overall, you guys are so cute and healthy and perfect. He would definitely do everything he could to make you happy and you’re such a caring, loving person, I know you’d do the same.
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nctzendreamz · 5 years ago
Text
Little Things (3) :: Mark Lee
Mark love so many things about you, but he’ll never let the words slip out of his mouth.
Pt.1 / Pt.2 / Pt.3
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Breathe Mark...breathe. His stomach is currently turning in a never ending hell of knots, and his breathing was so staggered. This was his constant party trick when he was embarrassed, and words could not describe how embarrassed he was right now.
He knew you would tell him to observe his surroundings.
Look at the floor, Mark. Focus on the color. Is it brown? White? Gray? Wooden? Think about how it feels on your feet. You can feel the cool breeze, can’t you? It’s giving you a chill, but with the heat outside, it feels really good.
Even though he was talking to himself, he was able to convince himself that you didn’t hate him. That it was you whispering into his ear and getting him out of his shake.
You were always so good at that. You were good at practically anything you put your mind to, but especially that. You could talk anybody out of doing any bad deed, or calm them down when they needed to be held.
Just as Mark goes to lean against the counter, almost ready to return back to the reality that was you and his members probably having the time of your lives, he hears the door swing open. He can’t even look.
“You okay, bro?” Johnny questions, and his tone is very light. “You kinda ran away back there.”
“Fine.” Mark mutters, a clear indication that he didn’t want to be bothered. He knows this isn’t Johnny’s fault. He knows that this is all him, but even so, he needs someone to blame. He doesn’t want to be the bad guy in any of your stories. He wants to be the one you run to.
“You know, whatever you’re thinking right now would probably calm down if you just said it.” Johnny’s beside him now, a hand on his lower back.
“It’s—
“Don’t even say that to me, Mark. Don’t say that it’s not that simple, because it is. The love of your life confessed their love for you, and you let them walk away thinking that you didn’t feel the same. Do you know how many guys would kill for that? Huh?”
There’s a stern tone in his older brother’s words, and Mark can tell how done he is with this whole ordeal. He was right, of course. He knows how lucky he is. He knows that men would kill to be in this position with the one they loved. Hell, men would kill him to be with you. Still, he’s silent. His eyes are darted straight forward and he’s just breathing.
“You don’t have to listen to me.” Johnny removes his hand. “We both know that actions speak louder than words anyway.”
What was that supposed to mean? Immediately, Mark shoots up feeling unsettled from those words. From the way Johnny walks out so quick, he knows he’s promoting him to follow.
“Doyoung!” You screech, your mouth agape and in desperate need of food. On the leather couch Doyoung is dangling a sole piece of skin from the chicken—your favorite taste, and making you chase his fingers. “Please.” You plead.
“I think I wanna hear you beg some more.” He chuckles, placing it in his mouth.
Mark wanted to hope this was an innocent induendo, but regardless, he was sick. It had only been a clean thirty minutes of him trying to calm down and Doyoung already had your attention. And that smile that was on your face—it was unreal. He hadn’t seen it in so long.
“Listen to me.” Is all Johnny speaks before he walks away, going to get more food.
Mark doesn’t want to move, but he also realizes that this isn’t the best decision. He needs to distract himself and try to move on, just like you were obviously trying to do. He forces his reindeer sock covered feet to move forward—of course a gift from you during the Christmas season, and he’s making way to go to the couch. They had managed to sit the only two couches he had in here across from eachother while the coffee table gave space for food and drinks. He sits on the couch you and Doyoung aren’t cannodling on. Jaehyun and Jungwoo are sitting on this couch.
“Did you fall asleep in there?” It’s Doyoung, and Mark doesn’t even crack a smile. They’re making eye contact, but you don’t notice it’s intensity as you’re scrolling through your phone now. Or maybe you’re texting Johnny again. He doesn’t know.
“Nope.” Is all Mark can manage, feeling his heart rate increase from the jealousy he felt. It was such a stupid, small detail—but he can’t help but notice how subtly your shoulder is touching Doyoung’s. He has to sit and watch as your head is slowly leaning on his broadened left, and before Doyoung puts another piece of chicken in his mouth, you take it out of his hand without even thinking. You two looked like a complete couple and he can’t believe this.
He knows exactly what his hyung is doing. He wants him to react. He wants to show him that this is exactly what he’ll have to go through if he doesn’t confess tonight. Even so, the balls still aren’t growing.
“Are you going to eat?” Jungwoo questions. “I’m positive you haven’t eaten all day.”
“And what makes you so sure of that?” Mark responds.
“You’re pale, you have shaky hands, I know you bro. Here.” Jungwoo has some kimchi in some chopsticks, and Mark just eats it to make him feel more at ease.
“I think I’m going to get a head start on painting, actually.” The younger boy rises, and he might’ve been crazy, but he sees the way your eyes peep him for a minute. He’s walking back into his room that seemed even more bland now that you weren’t in it.
The white walls were completely mocking him now, calling him all kinds of mean and harmful names. Every ugly blotch reminded him of kids back in middle school who never had anything nice to say. It’s shell skin tone should’ve been making him feel better even through its plain nature, but he wanted to punch a hole in it.
Mark wants to just lay down and sleep for the duration of this visit. Maybe even make the members paint the walls by themselves. He worked hard enough on music, right? He could be lazy today.
“Since Mark just can’t wait to start painting, let’s all wash our hands, eh?” He hears Jaehyun yell. Mark knows he’s doing this on purpose.
“It’ll probably only take an hour. I mean it’s not like we’re professionals.” It’s your voice, and it’s making his blood boil. The way you spoke so casually now. He was used to you behaving like this, always cool and collected infront of people who didn’t know you as well as they wished, but he was going to ignore his knowledge. He wanted the shy and soft spoken Y/N back.
“Then why did you call them?” The words are sharp off his tounge and he doesn’t even turn around to look at you. He knows you’re haulting now questioning your life choices. Or maybe not that far, but he knows you’re taken aback. Just like he was when he saw you and Doyoung flirting with eachother.
He really was being a jealous asshole wasn’t he? I mean, Mark had his moments, but his surface was always sweet and willing to bow down to anyone who he respected and loved. As he fumbles with the paint bucket—ironically the only you chose for the occasion, he realizes that wasn’t necessary. His words to you. Even so he can’t apologize.
“I figured you didn’t want to be around me.” You say to his surprise. You could’ve made up so many different lies. You could’ve said you didn’t think the two of you were capable of doing such a job on your own. You could’ve mentioned how you hate the smell of fresh paint and would rather the members be doing the nitty gritty. You also could’ve mentioned that you didn’t want to mess up your outfit for that fact as well. But no. You’re projecting instead.
“I didn’t want to be around you?” He chuckles, and the air is becoming very tense very fast. He hates this so much. This animosity that’s been growing between you two for the past couple of hours. “I think it’s the opposite.”
And he has you red handed because you don’t say another word. You huff out in some form of displeasure before you take the paint can out of his hand. You practically throw it on the ground—of course just light enough from bursting before you have Mark’s hand wrapped around your own and you’re storming the both of you out of his bedroom. The other members are looking on and they’re scared for their friend. You weren’t one to mess with and your eyes are raging as you walk past them. Mark doesn’t even have anything in his home to distract him as it was blank as hell.
The night air is semi-chilly, and Mark wants to grab a jacket for you, or at least warn you to bring one, but he knows there’s no point. The two of you are now in the abandoned hallway of his line and he’s standing infront of you.
“You’re an asshole.” Are the first words that come out of your pretty lips. They’re still glossy like earlier. His eyes are looking at his neighbor’s door in attempt to not have to deal with all of this ruckus, but your hands are quicker as they take his chin and direct his attention to where it needs to be. You, and your hurt heart. “All you do is blame me for everything.”
“What?” He mumbles.
“You’re going to talk to me whether you like it or not, Mark. This whole mumbling thing you’re doing is not going to make me shut up so start talking.”
He had never seen you so fiesty. You were like a firecracker burning into his flesh, but he was enjoying it. Maybe a little too much. He didn’t know how he was thinking positive and somewhat hilarious thoughts. You were very angry with him and that should’ve been driving him nuts. It was driving him nuts.
“How do I blame you for everything, Y/N?”
“With your eyes, and your stupid subtle responses to everything. I know you’ve been off since my whole drunken confession mistake.”
“I—
“And I know you probably found it extremely hilarious that I poured out my heart to you and all you did was pretend it didn’t happen, and yet I was still checking on you and loving you like you had the same feelings.”
“Y/—
“And that’s not to say you have to share my feelings, but at least say something, Mark. And then you sit here and kiss my hand and tell me that I’m beautiful like I’m some toy. Am I a toy to you?”
“No.” Is all he responds. His face is so dull, but his heart is about to burst into a thousand crystals. He’s sweating profoundly and he’s trying to find more words.
“Tell me how you feel, Mark. Say it to me right now. I’m a big girl and I can handle it. We both know that.”
“I love you.”
He doesn’t know which one of his ancestors possessed his spirit to spit it out so simply. It slipped off the tounge like saliva to the floor when you were thirsty but also couldn’t stop talking because there was nothing that he was more sure of. You could ask him was his name his actual name and he wouldn’t sound that confident.
“But?” you say, and you’re not quivering. Had he really broken your heart that many times? To where you became immune to his true feelings? That you believed there was a catch to this?
“There’s no but.”
He can see the way your body breaks down. He knows you’re blaming yourself. You’re probably thinking about how maybe you talking to much was the reason he couldn’t get it out. You’re probably imagining false scenarios in your head where you wouldn’t let him get a secret off his chest not knowing it was exactly what you had been dreaming about, and that’s why you never noticed.
“Don’t do that.” He whispers. His balls had finally dropped because he’s approaching you now. Chest to chest—rashing heartbeats just begging to wallow in eachother and finally get to touch through your gentle skin that looked so good beside eachother even through its clothed nature. “Don’t blame your perfection on me being unable to open my fucking mouth, Y/N.” His lips quickly kiss yours, and it feels so good. It was less than a second, but it felt like home. He had imagined so many different scenarios where your lips would touch for the first time and he would then proceed to drag you to the nearest wall and make love to you for the first time. Intense, right?
“I have loved you for so long that I can’t even remember what not loving you feels like. I can’t.” He trembles. “That night when you confessed to me, I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I also didn’t know if it was real. But then the next morning you turned into your beautiful and shy self and I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ruin us because I’d rather die everyday and still get to be your friend than lose you completely.”
“You were scared.” You finish for him. “But so was I, Mark. I was petrified. I had no idea whether you’d accept my feelings or be completely disgusted. Why do you think I waited until I was piss drunk to say anything?”
“I’m sorry.” He says, nuzzling his forehead into yours. “And I’m sorry for not being a man, because I am one. We’re not kids anymore that get to get away with this. I know I was so wrong. And I suck so bad. I—
But you’re kissing him again. And it’s his first kiss in such a manner. The way your lips are molding into his own with such perfection and the way he feels himself getting hot in unfamiliar places. The way you pull him over you on the door and he lifts your legs around his slim waist so he can get even closer to you. The way your delighted fingers are pulling at his current black strands of hair and he lets out a tiny sigh of agreement and pleasure.
“I love you.” You say, pulling away from him for just a quick second.
“I love you more.” He breathes out before he’s attacking your lips again and is making it known all over your body that he means everything. “You don’t love Doyoung more do you?”
Your laugh echoes into his thick neck as he’s still propping you on the door. “So you were jealous?”
“Of course I was.” He smiles in embarrassment. “We can kick them out, can’t we?”
“We’re about to.”
And now you’re both laughing and hugging eachother tightly as you attempt to catch your breath.
You finally figured it out. You finally both knew what was going on, and you were happy. So so happy.
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