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messers-moony · 3 years ago

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He’s Safe With Me | R.B

Paring: Regulus Black X Fem!Half-Blood!Reader

Summary: A little boy brightens Regulus’ days after his brother leaves him.

Inspiration: Click & Click

Growing up always left a bittersweet taste in people's mouths. While it was nice to gain freedom and more privileges that growing up included, the new responsibilities made it bitter. It was the leaving, the stress, and the idea of putting your childhood behind you that brought the sour taste to people's tongues.

Regulus never thought that he’d have to grow up so fast.

The summer months were always Regulus’ favorite. They were the months that, despite everything, Sirius would come home to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place and be a resident there for the two months of holiday. Maybe during Hogwarts, they would sneer at each other and argue with one another, but at home, it wasn’t like that.

Sirius was sixteen, and Regulus was fifteen, but that didn’t stop Sirius from taking the hits meant for Regulus. It didn’t stop him from taking the blame, so Regulus was safe. Afterward, Regulus would hear Sirius whimpering in his bedroom and silent cries. Sometimes, he’d even fall asleep outside his door, or if he were brave enough, he’d go inside and lay beside him.

They were boys, but from the moment they were born, they had to be adults. Their childhood was stripped from them, and responsibilities piled on top of another. From the minute they were born, they had to sit straight, use proper manners, try to court girls, be charming, study, and be mature, but they were boys. They were bound to be a ruckus.

Regulus could remember running around Uncle Alphard with Sirius when he was three. Uncle Alphard had a vast plot of land with a big house on the corner. He had cherry blossom trees planted all around the manor, and it gave the boys an area to run. When Regulus caught up to him, eventually, he’d jump on his brother's back, and Sirius always caught him when he fell.

So why couldn’t Sirius catch him now?

He heard the window open from Sirius’ room and already had a feeling he knew what was happening. Earlier that day, he heard the shuffling of clothes and items in the room beside his own. Regulus swallowed the growing lump in his throat and opened Sirius’ door to find exactly what he suspected. Sirius had a trunk packed and head out of the window. When the door opened, he hit his head on the bottom of the window.

“God damn it.” Sirius muttered in pain as he retracted from halfway out the window.

“Sirius…?” Regulus hated how small his voice sounded.

Sirius turned to face his little brother fiddling with a Gryffindor tie, tears in his eyes, “Regulus….”

“Please, wait.” Regulus pleaded softly, and Sirius wanted to, but he couldn’t, “Reg, I- I can’t. I can’t stay here anymore.” Sirius stuttered as tears filled his vision.

Why couldn’t Sirius stay? He felt like a little boy again begging and pleading for Sirius to hold him during the thunderstorms that used to take cover of the skies. Mother always dragged him out of the bedroom, and Regulus would be left wailing begging for Sirius. Regulus would sit on his bed crisscrossed, holding a blanket close to his heart, praying, “Please, Siri, please.”

He could remember when Sirius and Regulus were forced to become enemies. Remembering when Sirius came home from his first year, he was shut in his room with multiple locks. Regulus would weep beg for him to save him from their mother and father. When the first Cruciatus Curse hit, he screamed Sirius’ name.

“Please, Siri, you- you can’t leave.”

“Regulus,” Sirius stepped forward to cup his brother's cheek who reached just beneath his chin, “I’m sorry.”

Regulus leaned into his brother's touch, knowing it would probably be the last time, “I wanna be home….”

“You are home, Regulus.” Sirius replied, confused but still soft and Regulus looked up at him with tears streaming down his face, “Home is wherever I’m with you….”

Sirius had tears trickling down his pale cheeks as he placed his chin on top of Regulus’ head, embracing him tightly, “Please don’t go….”

“Please. I’m begging you.” Regulus was whimpering, keening, wailing, “Siri, please.”

“It’s safer with me gone.” Sirius confessed, “You’ll be safer here. They won’t use the crucio curse on you, not with you being the only one left.”

Regulus was fisting the back of his shirt, the Gryffindor tie still in his hand, “They know that if they hurt one of us, the other one hurts more. With me gone, that leverage disappears.”

“I don’t care.” Regulus cried, “I just want you.”

Sirius kissed the top of his head and parted from his brother's tight embrace, “I love you, Regulus.”

“But-“ Regulus swallowed, “You love James more.”

Sirius didn’t answer, and Regulus let his head fall, staring at the wooden floor, fiddling with the silk tie. He felt guilty. He felt like it was all his fault. Maybe if Regulus had taken more curses, perhaps if he had been a better brother. Maybe if Regulus were strong enough to disobey his parents as Sirius did, then Sirius wouldn’t be leaving right now.

“Perhaps not in this lifetime, but perhaps in another, I’d be able to stay.” Sirius replied solemnly, leaving Regulus’ heart to shatter like a ripped piece of paper.

Regulus sniffled, “I guess… this is goodbye.”

“I suppose it is,” Sirius said as he approached the window again.

This time Regulus didn’t stop him. He knew he had nothing on James. Regulus would always be second to James no matter how hard he tried. Sirius threw the trunk onto the outside ground and sat on the edge of the window, looking beneath him. He turned around one more time before leaping onto the soft grass.

Maybe the summer months weren’t Regulus’ favorite months anymore.

The start of fifth year was dreadful. Regulus didn’t feel anything when he approached the Hogwarts Express. It felt like half of his heart had gone and disappeared. All the compartments were full, and Regulus would have to share with someone, which worsened the experience.

He saw the Marauders compartment. It was filled with the usual four boys, but inside was a girl. She was stunning with her soft appearing hair and sharp features. She was the epitome of beauty, and she made the entire compartment laugh with a quick wit she seemed to have made.

Regulus passed it until he found a compartment with Lucius Malfoy and Evan Rosier. He slid the door open and took place beside Evan. Both boys welcomed him in with a smile. He couldn’t help but think back to the girl in the Marauders compartment. He had seen her before, but he couldn’t place it where.

She hadn’t changed into her robes, so it was impossible to know what house she was in, but she still looked stunning in Muggle clothing. He noticed her style was comparative to Sirius’. The black ripped jeans, the doc martens on her feet, and a tee-shirt he couldn’t make out due to the jacket she wore over it.

They entered Hogwarts and went into the Great Hall, where everyone sat at their respected tables. Regulus couldn’t help himself but try and search for her. He was shocked when she entered the Great Hall with green and silver robes.

It didn’t make sense. Why did she get to be included? The Marauders hated Slytherins, yet she seemed to be so close with them. Regulus was a Slytherin, and he was related to one of the Marauders, yet he still wasn’t included. His heart swelled with a sense of jealousy and envy.

Nonetheless, she took her seat beside Leia, a pureblood with long brown hair and blue eyes. They were talking until the sorting ceremony began. The sorting ceremony was long and drawled out, but the girl looked strangely intrigued. She watched intently as a little boy with shaggy brown hair and green eyes who was introduced as Romeo L/n sat onto the stool where McGonagall placed the hat onto his head.

It pondered for a while, a maximum of two minutes, but the hat finally exclaimed, “Slytherin!” The boy smiled brightly and approached the girl. He was bouncing over to her with a gleeful smile on his face. The little boy had dimples and straight teeth. He hugged her tightly, and she kissed his cheek.

“Congratulations, Romeo.”

“I’m just like you, sis!” Romeo grinned.

She smiled, “You’re just like me, love.”

“Congratulations, Ro!” Leia exclaimed, “So happy for you.”

He hugged the other girl, “Thanks, Leia.”

“C’mere, Rom,” Y/n patted the seat beside her, “Sit.”

The little boy sat beside his sister and allowed her to put her arms around his neck, holding him close to her chest, “Love you, Romeo.”

“I love you too, Y/n.”

Regulus grimaced. So she had a little brother, and her name was Y/n. Regulus looked back at the stool where first years were sitting. He glanced slightly at Sirius from across the room, who was smiling brightly as James placed an arm around his shoulders. Regulus would always be second best.

The first few weeks of fifth-year weren’t that bad. It went smoothly, and people didn’t talk to Regulus. He was cold and snappy. It turned people away, which he was thankful for. He didn’t want people to talk to him. He felt numb and unresponsive, like he was the shell of who he uses to be.

He was in the library with a Transfiguration book in front of him. The pages were dull, and he couldn’t retain anything he was reading. He missed Sirius’ brilliance in Transfiguration. He missed Sirius tutoring him in hidden places of the library so their mother wouldn’t curse him for low marks.

A hand had gently tugged at his robe, and he went to snap when he saw familiar green eyes, “Um, excuse me, you’re Regulus, right?”

“Yeah, Regulus Black.” Regulus replied, hoping the last name would deter him, but the boy only smiled, “I’m Romeo L/n. Professor Slughorn said that you could tutor me in Potions.”

Romeo sat across from Regulus and plopped down his supplies, “I’m absolutely rubbish at Potions, but my marks in Herbology and Charms are pretty okay. Mum says they need work, but I’m trying the best I can.”

Regulus tilted his head, “What are your marks in Herbology and Charms?”

“I have an Exceeds Expectations in both.” Romeo muttered, “Mum says that I can do better, though.”

“Exceeds Expectations is good. That’s remarkable for a first year. You’re starting out with no knowledge. For just starting, I’d say you’re doing great.” Regulus replied.

He didn’t know why he felt the need to comfort this boy. Maybe because he saw himself in the boy in front of him, he could hear his own mother scolding him for his Acceptable in Transfiguration in his first year.

“Will you tutor me, please?”

Regulus hesitated, “I guess I’m not great at Potions either.”

“Y/n says your fantastic!” Romeo replied, “She talks about you quite a bit.”

“She does?”

“Mhm!” He hummed, “Used to send me letters at home talking about you.”

Regulus’ face flushed, and he gave a tiny smile, “I didn’t even know who she was.”

“She does that on purpose. She knew you wouldn’t like her because of her relationship with Sirius. They’re close friends.”

“Have you spoken to any of them?”

“Yeah.” Romeo's smile was bright, “Sirius was the one who told me to talk to you. He said that you were nice.”

“Sirius did?”

“Yeah, and Y/n, of course.”

Regulus smiled; maybe Sirius wasn’t completely gone, “I’ll tutor you.”

“You will?”

“Yeah. Why not.”

Without a second thought, Romeo had jumped up and embraced the older boy. Regulus stiffened, and Romeo pulled away with wide green eyes, “I��m- I’m sorry. I should’ve asked.”

Regulus embraced the boy again, and Romeo leaned into his touch. He felt safe in the Black boy's arms, almost the same feeling he got when Y/n wrapped her arms around him. Regulus’ embrace was soft, comforting, and sweet. Romeo could smell the broom polish from being the Slytherin Seeker, cinnamon, and a hint of sandalwood.

Romeo gave Regulus a smile before sitting back down, and they began studying together. Later that evening, Romeo had entered the Great Hall for dinner with him. The first year smiled at him before approaching his sister at the Gryffindor table, where he took his spot beside her.

“Hey, Rom.” Y/n greeted, “Hey, sis.”

“Did you talk to Regulus?” Y/n asked, “Is he gonna tutor you?”

Romeo nodded, “Yeah! He’s really nice!”

Sirius gave a subtle smile, “That’s brilliant, Romeo.”

Romeo and Regulus became quick friends despite Regulus’ reluctance. Romeo thought of Regulus like an older brother, and Regulus protected him like one. He was a target for many older Gryffindors, and Regulus would always take the hits or duel them for him.

These actions didn’t come without consequences. Regulus’ home life got worse, and letters often came about his friendship with the other Slytherin boy. They didn’t enjoy the fact that they were half-bloods and didn’t believe in pureblood supremacy. Regulus would sit in the Astronomy tower with the letter reading it with a dry face looking at the stars.

The door to the tower opened, and Regulus didn’t move. Their footsteps were light and patted across the concrete until they saw him. She sat beside him with her legs crossed while Regulus dangled. She saw the parchment in his hand and took it from them. He allowed it. There was nothing terrible in it other than his mother threatening to throw him out if he didn’t stop talking to that half-blood.

She read it while Regulus stared at the night sky. Y/n placed it back down on the concrete pavement without a word. She fiddled with her hands and put them back in her lap. Regulus was so silent and so peaceful. But she had to break the silence.

“I really appreciate you doing what you do for Romeo.” Y/n said quietly, “He thinks of you like an older brother.”

Regulus chuckled softly, “He’s energetic, that one.”

“Yeah. He’s got a lot of energy.” Y/n replied, “He hates sitting still. But he really appreciates that you can work with that.”

“He gets irritating sometimes, but I try to keep him intrigued.”

“It works.”

“I’m glad.”

It was silent again, “I’m sure he’s told you plenty. He’s not very good at keeping secrets.”

Regulus smirked, and for a moment, he looked like Sirius, “You wrote letters about me?”

“I like you, Regulus.” Y/n confessed, “More than I should.”

He intertwined his hand with hers, “I like you too.”

Y/n smiled at squeezed his hand. Regulus leaned his head on her shoulder and began to tell her about the stars. He went into extreme depth of every constellation, planet, and star. Y/n noticed that he skipped Canis Major but didn’t say anything. She knew of Sirius’ departure the previous summer and how badly Regulus had been hurt thanks to Sirius’ description. It wasn’t good to rub salt in a still-open wound.

When Regulus got the mark months later, they didn’t separate. She stood by his side and helped him through it. They didn’t tell anyone about it, not even Romeo. It wasn’t until the war was over that they decided to let everyone know. Y/n had allowed a sigh of relief when she found out that Peter was in Azkaban and her friends were still alive.

Regulus was sleeping when she grabbed a bit of parchment to write to Sirius. Y/n dipped the quill in black ink and began writing smoothly. The ink embedded the paper like old friends, and when it dried, she handed it to her owl, Astoria. The following afternoon when Remus and Sirius were still entangled together from the previous night, the owl tapped on the window.

Sirius groaned and stood up from the bed. He grabbed the parchment as the owl flew off. The writing was perfect calligraphy, and Sirius smiled at the note written on the parchment. His heart slowed its beat with relief.

“He’s safe with me.”

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anywherebuthere · 4 years ago

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I had a dream about you last night || j.p.

James Potter x fem!reader

“Even when you’re gone, you are all that haunts my dreams.”

Wordcount: 1969

A/N: Happy (belated) birthday to the only man ever <33 I am illiterate, so I had a mental breakdown writing this <3 please enjoy!! special thanks to @anchoeritic and @gxtitobxby for supporting me via discord and for making fun of the time I got hit by a car :)) @skullsontess07 I finally posted it pls don’t hurt me <33

Warnings: alcohol, allusions to sex, death, bad writing, especially towards the end. barely proofread because I don’t believe in mistakes <3 /j

Please do not repost this!! I do not consent to this piece of fiction being published on any other site besides tumblr unless it by my doing.

The ticking of the grandfather clock thrummed in James’ ears as he tipped back the empty bottle, the smell of whiskey heavy in the air. He leaned his head against the cold surface of the white plaster wall, scanning the textured ceiling with misty eyes. His home, still half furnished, was riddled with traces of something better forgotten. Even with the weight of alcohol on his breath, his mind is running with memories and daydreams of her.

He closed his eyes, forcing the imagery away. In the distance, a train chugged on, its lone whistle echoing in the night, and James can’t help but be pulled into an uneasy slumber, memories still flashing through his mind like a broken film.

“Prongs, you git! We’re going to miss the train if you don’t hurry your fat arse.” Remus shouted, frustration seeping into his humoured voice.

“Relax Moony, we’ll be fine,” he replied, breath heaving slightly from sprinting across Platform 9¾, just narrowly having avoided knocking over an elderly witch.

As the four boys approached the entrance of the cart, the train’s departing whistle blared. They boarded quickly, though not without receiving a glare from a crew member.

Hurrying down the corridor, the boys glanced through every compartment window, though each appeared to be full of giggling sixth years. That is, with the exception of one.

Near the back end of the Hogwarts Express, was, at last, an empty compartment save for a singular figure slumped against the window. With no other choice of seating, the gaggle of boys slipped in silently, Sirius and Remus snagging the seats opposite to the slumbering girl, their pinkies linked as they whispered conspiratorially amongst themselves.

Peter, as adverse to the female race as ever, took the seat closest to the door, leaving James to be wedged between the mousy blonde and the stranger, careful not to bump her with his broad shoulders.

The train ride was filled with hushed whispers as the marauders discussed this year's prank for the welcoming feast, a customary tradition they held sacred, as to “start the year right.”

As they began going over the mechanisms of their plan, they felt the train begin to swerve as it approached a sharp turn. The compartment shook slightly and James suddenly felt a weight on his right side.

He stiffened, glancing over to see that the girl’s head had lulled over from the compartment wall and onto his shoulder. James recognized her as a student in their year. Y/N, who had tutored Regulus the same day that James had helped Sirius prank him as petty revenge for a now long-forgotten argument.

And well, perhaps James had wanted her to notice him for once. If so, it had been a successful endeavour as he remembered the way her face had contorted in anger, though her attention had remained just as elusive for the remainder of their fifth year. So… perhaps not so successful.

He flushed at the memory. She was now even prettier than the year prior.

“Oh? Is that a blush we see, Moony?” Sirius taunted, nudging Remus with his elbow as he snickered at James’ scowl.

“Bloody hell, piss off, will you? You’ll wake her–”

He felt her suddenly stir beside him, brows creasing as though on the cusp of consciousness.

James held his breath.

The moment passed as Y/N nudged her face further into the crook of his neck before settling back into a peaceful slumber.

Perhaps he wouldn’t need the prank to start the year right this time around.

It seemed that sixth year would be a good one for James.

In the early morning of a mid-March day, an unlikely scene unfolded between the shelves of Hogwarts’ library. There he sat beside a bleary Y/N, voice still drowsy with sleep as she read aloud a passage from the Herbology textbook perched between them.

Initially, James had detested the thought of having to wake up at such an ungodly hour for the sake of a project. No other time had fit, not with his Quidditch practices and her absurd number of tutoring sessions.

Though now, as the early rays of sunrise filtered through the library’s mullioned windows onto her skin, James thinks that there is nowhere else he would rather be.

He thinks this moment will be ingrained in his mind forever.

“–once a century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers able to attract the unwary.” she paused to yawn, eyebags evident as she turned to meet James’ gaze. She scrunched her nose and he swore he swooned at the very sight. “Are you even listening to me, Potter?”

“I’m always listening to you,” he replied, tilting his head. She grins in response and he notices just how beautiful it is.

She shifted her gaze back to the textbook lying in their laps, picking up where she had left off.

“Its scent adapts–”

James leaned forward suddenly, capturing her lips in his. The book fell closed between them.

Immediately, almost though by instinct, Y/N reciprocates, moving her lips gently against his as her hand cups his cheek. James finds himself gripping that hand as his other wraps around her waist, finding the small of her back and pulling her impossibly close against him.

She tasted of cherry chapstick and peppermint bubblegum, and though there was nothing particularly special about those flavours, on her, James swears that he could drown in his intoxication alone. Her perfume wafts through the air, the scent causing him to groan against her mouth.

When they separated at last, his head was swimming in euphoria, his expression dazed. Y/N blinked up at him, sleep wiped entirely from her expression.

“Its scent adapts itself during these times to attract said unwary.” she finishes, sounding breathless still, voice trailing off as James began to laugh hysterically.

She rolled her eyes, smiling sheepishly.

When James still couldn’t stop laughing, Y/N gripped his haphazardly tied red and gold tie, using it to pull his soft lips against hers once more and he was sure in his mind that there would no one else for him.

Beneath a great oak tree in the courtyard lay two figures. Under the tree’s twisting branches, they hid in its cool shade from the sweltering afternoon sun. Few places aside from the castle offered shelter from June’s blistering heat and as the semester approached its end, they finally allowed themselves to rest in the gentle breeze.

James was leaning against the thick trunk while Y/N’s head lay in his lap. His elbow was resting on her abdomen as she drew on his hand, doodling intricate flower designs alongside some… less desirable things.

He felt his heart swell with joy as her laughter filled the summer air and before he could catch himself, he blurted out the thought that had been weighing in the back of his mind since they had started dating.

“Do you ever think about your future?"

He felt the scratch of her muggle pen slow, as though pausing in thought.

"I want to grow old and die surrounded with people I love, knowing I lived a long and fulfilling life. You know, typical boring stuff," she replied after a moment's consideration. Her eyes twinkled with more, though Y/N never indulged in half-thought-out plans.

"What about you?" she questioned with the tip of her head. James didn’t need time to think about it. He had known his answer since that fateful September morning when she had slept on his shoulder throughout the entirety of the train ride.

"I don't care what my future is as long as you're there" he answers truthfully.

Y/N flushed, her ears heated. She looked away, the corners of her lips turning up in the barest hint of a smile.

James freed his hand from her loose grasp, hooking her chin to look back towards him before leaning in to kiss her.

Even after all these months, he relished in the taste of her lips. He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of the feeling.

He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of her.

The sun was setting in the west on a quiet evening, its golden rays shining on the slick skin of two lovers as they untangled themselves from the sheets, unable to hold in their laughter when one got his foot stuck in the knot of their crochet blanket.

The air hung heavy with the scent of sweat and endorphins as Y/N laid back, her body still bare, not bothering to cover it.

James propped his elbow beside her head, careful not to press on her spread-out hair, his face filled with ecstasy and pure bliss.

He will never get used to the sight of her in his bed, giggling as the sun reflected off her silky skin. The image of her underneath him is cemented in his mind, permanently lodged there as solid as concrete. He knows now with absolute certainty that there would be no one else for him.

James’ smile widened further as he nudged his nose into the crook of her neck, leaning in to place a kiss there when his vision blurred.

It was no longer sunset. Rather, the two of them were now enveloped in the dark of night and James is certain he hears the echo of a familiar spell ring off in the distance.

He pulls away from Y/N’s neck.

She was no longer shaking with laughter, but rather, writhing in pain. There were lacerations all across her torso and James felt something sticky underneath his hands.

They were laying in a pool of her blood.

Panic clawed at his throat and though he had never been averse to the sight of blood, yours was an exception. The taste of bile clung to his tongue.

“No... No no no no no,” he whispered in disbelief. Swivelling his head, outside the window, he spots a cloaked figure wearing a mask of silver disapparate.

“No!”

Grasping for the wand strapped to his side, he murmurs a healing spell, gasping for breath when the wounds remain open. His head was spiralling as Y/N shook her head almost imperceptibly, grabbing at his wrist with a shaking hand.

Carved into her arm was the word “MUDBLOOD” and James felt his vision turn red, suddenly hyper-aware of the blood pumping through his veins.

“James…” she rasped. He gripped her shaking hand.

“Why isn’t it working? Why?” he cried, tears streaming down his face, struggling to breathe.

“Whatever our souls are made of,” she gasped, blood spurting out of her mouth. Her beautiful mouth, the one that tasted of cherries and peppermint, was covered in thick, crimson blood. “you and I are connected.”

“No! Stop with this rubbish, you’re not going to die!” he sobbed, gripping her bloodied hand like a vice. She continued as though he hadn’t even spoken.

Perhaps she was too far gone to hear him.

“Wh-whatever is beyond this life,” violent ruby coated her mouth as she coughed, blood splattering onto her smooth skin. “Promise me, y-you’ll find me again.”

“I promise,” he cried, sobs racking through his body.

But she was already gone.

James woke with a start, gasping for breath with the taste of blood and “promise” still coating his tongue. He was alone in a house built for two.

In his fitful sleep, he had knocked over the empty bottle of whiskey beside him.

She had hated whiskey.

Had.

A fresh wave of misery washed over James, adding to the dull pain that never seemed to go away, throbbing through him as naturally as the blood in his veins. It wasn’t enough that she existed still within every corner of their shared home.

Even in his dreams, he is haunted by her memory.

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@catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

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angelicamerlinbarnes · 4 years ago

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Fifteen people who found out about James, Sirius, and Remus and the one person who never did

To clarify: James, Sirius, and Remus are queerplatonic partners in this case, or QPP's. This means that they're essentially special friends, ones who indulge in physical and emotional connections that are typically thought of as beyond platonic.

ONE: Peter Pettigrew

By fourth year the Marauders are legends. Everyone knows them as the fun-loving band of brothers without any cares in the world. Only the four of them know the true nature of the Marauders - bloody, battered, and bruised.

One day Sirius and James are fighting, an explosive sort of argument where Peter hides behind his curtains while peeking out through a crack in them and Remus reads calmly on his bed. Then suddenly the shouting stops, and Peter’s jaw drops open while Remus looks up from his book.

There, in the middle of the room, are Sirius and James, Sirius’ hands on James’ face and his mouth on his lips. Sirius pulls away before James can respond, covering his mouth with his hands and tearing up while James blinks in shock and Peter stares.

Then, Remus starts laughing, and James drags Sirius into a crushing hug, pressing kisses all over his face before finally pecking him on the mouth and then letting go. Peter squeaks out a garbled question when Remus rolls his eyes and says, “What, no love for me?”

Immediately, Sirius and James tackle him onto the bed, the three of them collapsing into a mess of laughter and kisses while Peter stares and stares and stares.

TWO: Marlene McKinnon

In an act of drunken desperation to forget her own confusing sexuality (girls are super hot but the idea of being in love makes me wanna throw up, for reference), Marlene flirts with Sirius at a party. His eyes are dark and alluring and he’s addicted to dancing, so it’s not exactly difficult. But just as her hand snakes up his arm, Remus appears, wrapping himself around Sirius and kissing him happily, Sirius melting against him.

Marlene steps back in her shock, creating just enough room for James to stumble over tipsily and start making fun of Sirius’ ears; that is until Sirius leans down and kisses him too just to shut him up, pulling back with a laugh so loud it rings in Marlene’s ears as she runs for the comfort of Dorcas, who simply smiles and slips her hand through Marlene’s blonde curls and kisses her until she can’t feel anything anymore.

THREE: Minvera Mcgonogall

In fifth year, Mcgonogall is awoken by a bawling James Potter at her door, sobbing uncontrollably and blubbering about something she can’t really understand. Eventually he calms down enough that she manages to get that he’s upset because he just found out that Sirius and Remus are dating.

Mcgonogall is terribly confused - haven’t the three of them been dating for years?

“No,” James says. “We’re just friends. Friends who kiss and love each other more than anything but aren’t in love with each other. I know… I know that doesn’t really make sense. I’m just… I’m just scared that since they’re boyfriends, or whatever, they won’t… they won’t…”

Mcgonogall opens her mouth to respond when Sirius’ voice cuts through the chaos -

“Won’t what? Love you? Because if you think that my being in love with Moony means I’m going to stop snogging you at every available opportunity then you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought, Jamie.”

James looks up with a grin even as the tears still stream down his face, taking in the sight of a grinning Sirius and Remus, whose hands are tightly clasped between them. Mcgonogall watches, blinking in shock, as James bounds over to them and laughs as Sirius dips him in a kiss and Remus rolls his eyes.

“Come on, you morons,” he says, dragging them away as Sirius tries and fails to kiss him silly, laughing.

FOUR: Severus Snape

Sixth year is when shit first hits the fan. The Prank is a tear in their carefully cultivated tapestry, one that sends all three of them exploding in different directions. Severus is on his way to the infirmary for some more dreamless potion from Madam Pomfrey (and to check on Remus after the traumatic mindfuck that was last night’s full moon) when he sees the shitshow begin.

Remus is lying in a hospital bed, confined by bandages and fatigue but looking no less terrifying as he bites insult after insult towards Sirius. (The only one of these Severus remembers is “I thought you loved me, asshole!”, and only because Sirius had fled the room in tears after it was spoken.) James tries to sit down at Remus’ bedside, but before he can Remus breaks down in tears.

James reaches out to hold him, but Remus shoves him away, screaming until James leaves, his head hanging low in defeat. Severus approaches carefully, holding out one of his bottles of dreamless sleep.

“Here,” he says softly. “So you can forget, for a little while.”

Remus looks up at him and smiles weakly.

“Thanks,” he rasps, and Severus leaves with a nod, deciding it’s better to quit while he’s ahead.

FIVE: Lily Evans

Despite all of the horror of the Prank, it is less disastrous than one might think. There is a war coming; Severus has sworn to Remus himself that he will never tell and has also started searching for the cure for lycanthropy while he’s at it (not that he’s found it; he never will); and Sirius Black and Remus Lupin love each other more than words can say and will no matter the consequences, everybody knows that.

And Lily, she misses Severus - no one else understands that, but she does. She loves him.

She’s studying with Remus one day, their backs against the wall and knees to their chests, and ends up asking him how Severus is doing, eventually winding them down a conversational path about lost love and finding hope anyway. Remus, however, collapses into tears talking about Sirius and how much he misses him and loves him, still.

Lily doesn’t know what to do; Remus Lupin does not cry, at least not in front of anyone. Before she can panic too badly about it though, James is there, on his knees in front of Remus and whispering quietly to him, taking his hands and kissing his knuckles in between murmurs of affection. Sirius stands behind him, hands clenching in and out of fists as he tries desperately not to touch, but that only lasts a few moments before Remus is laughing through his tears, making grabby hands for Sirius.

Sirius squats down hesitantly, gently wrapping his arms around Remus, who pulls him down by the neck and jaw and kisses him and kisses him and kisses him as James smiles tiredly, passerbys whoop and stare, and Lily looks at James and feels her heart flutter in her chest. He smiles at her, and she flushes, then stands and heads for the opposite corner, where Severus is leaning against the wall, his nose in a book.

No words are needed between them. She pulls him in by the tie, and there’s a single feeble whoop for them, too - Lily smiles at the sound of James’ voice, hope sparking in her chest as her eyelids flutter closed.

SIX: Regulus Black

Regulus, struggling under his parents’ stifling regime alone since Sirius left, can’t say he’s not shocked when Sirius drags him up to a Marauders sleepover in the Gryffindor dorms one night. Peter isn’t there - Remus says he’s staying with a Hufflepuff named Max he’s into - but Remus, Sirius, and James all gravitate towards one bed, Remus lying on his back with James’ head on his stomach, running his fingers lazily through James’ curls.

Sirius beams at the sight of them and jumps in beside them, and James leans up and pecks Sirius on the mouth, who smiles. Regulus’ heart twinges at the sight - his brother has so much more love than he does, and Regulus won’t deny that he’s always been just a little bit in love with James Potter - but then James smiles at him with those twinkling eyes and Regulus’ heart calms.

Sirius draws him close by the hand, pulling him into his side and kissing the top of his head. They laugh and wrestle and joke around until eventually Remus falls asleep in James’ arms, and James is not long to follow. Regulus lies awake long after, nestled into Sirius’ side, the silence comforting like a warm blanket. Until Sirius murmurs, “I love you, Reggie,” and drifts off, and Regulus is left staring at the ceiling, alone.

He knows, Sirius’ hand over his heart, that this is his brother’s way of saying goodbye.

SEVEN: Hope & Lyall Lupin

“Criminals” is not a word Lyall Lupin would use to describe Sirius Black and James Potter, but maybe it should be. Because they break into his house on Christmas Eve the boys’ seventh year, the moon already rising in the sky. Lyall tries to stop them, but Sirius Stupefies him with cold eyes and transforms into a hulking dog right then and there, trotting down the basement stairs as James follows, breaking Remus’ chains with his human hands and ushering him out the door before taking his stag form.

Lyall and Hope watch in shock from the kitchen as Remus turns and Sirius and James tame him easily, the wolf nuzzling them like old friends. By morning, they are still out in the yard, the sun rising, now fully human. At first Lyall worries for his son’s modesty, but Sirius has already wrapped his shirt around Remus’ waist, and Remus, barechested in the sun, is holding James’ head to his, muttering in Welsh as James tries desperately to breathe, apologizing over and over for a gash on Remus’ chest put there by his antlers. Remus smiles, and Sirius hums a Queen song under his breath, and Lyall can’t hear everything his son is saying but he catches just enough -

“Mae'n iawn, fy nghariad. Shhh, annwyl.” (It's alright, my love. Shhh, dearheart.)

EIGHT: Albus Dumbledore

The news that Regulus has died comes on a Wednesday. Dumbledore is the one to deliver it, with a heavy heart and a heavier theory in his head. He notices that James is there, in Sirius and Remus’ home, but does not question it, only offering the story of the Horcruxes to Sirius, who sits on the couch. As the words pour out, dry and frail, Sirius’ face pales to ghostly white. Remus emerges from the kitchen with tea just as the final phrase leaves Dumbledore’s lips -

“Your brother died a hero.”

The tea clatters to the floor as Sirius reaches for his wand on the table, pointing it towards his head and getting out “Avada -” before James and Remus are on him, James wrenching his wand away while Remus locks Sirius in his arms, gently coaxing him down onto the floor and rocking him back and forth as he breaks down. James returns from hiding the wand and wraps himself around the both of them, breaking down with Sirius and pressing tearful kisses to every inch of skin he can find. Remus looks up at Dumbledore with glassy eyes and says -

“Please take your leave, Professor.”

Dumbfounded, Dumbledore does.

NINE: Dorcas Meadowes

Dorcas has lived with Marlene since school - Dorcas was in love with her, and Marlene liked sex and liked Dorcas in a “we can be best-friend-partner-lovers forever, mkay?” way. But no one else can understand that - the fact that they’re physically intimate but not a couple, that they’re married by law and spirit but not in love, that’s not something anybody gets. So when Marlene dies, Dorcas locks herself in their home, for grief and madness alike.

One day, Sirius comes to visit her. She doesn’t know why - Lily is about to have a baby, Voldemort is specifically targeting the Potters, their husband Snape is a fucking spy, and Remus is undercover amongst the wolves. All this and there’s a traitor in their midst - Sirius has no business visiting a grieving woman when there’s a war on.

But war there is, and visit he does.

Dorcas makes him tea, and they converse quietly about Marlene for a time. It’s when Sirius’ apology comes that she snaps -

“You can’t possibly understand what it’s like to lose her. She’s - she was my everything. My other half, a part of me, my - my wife. Not just a friend but not a lover… well, not in anything but the physical sense anyway, but - she was my life.”

Sirius stands, throwing his hands out to the side.

“You think I don’t understand?” He says, laughing and running a hand through his hair. He blinks back tears, then thrusts his left hand her way. “I know exactly what you’re feeling. That grief, that fear, I - I feel that every day.”

Dorcas shakes her head, batting his hand away.

“Remus is the love of your life, not your - your, I don’t know, partner? You can’t -”

“James,” Sirius interrupts, desperately, and Dorcas shuts up. “Jamie. My Jamie. Well - Remus and I’s Jamie, really.”

He smiles - a broken, broken thing.

“I understand, see?” He says, twisting his wedding ring around so instead of a moon it shows a black set of antlers. “See? I know. I understand. I do.”

Dorcas stares, quietly, and then starts laughing. It’s a foreign, unwelcome sound, and Sirius reels back in shock. They stand there, opposing each other, until suddenly the laughs ebb out into sobs, and Sirius pulls her to his front and doesn’t let go.

TEN: Mary MacDonald

The day Harry is born, Severus isn’t even there. He’s deep into Voldemort’s forces by now, only holding contact with Dumbledore out of necessity, and James and Lily are both exhausted, missing their husband with a newfound intensity and knowing Voldemort wants to kill their newborn son. Sirius and Remus are there, Mary too, and as Lily sleeps with Harry on her chest and Mary holds her hand, Sirius and James fight.

Loudly.

(In the hallway, of course, but still.)

Remus is helpless in between them - Mary hears very little of what is actually said. Bits and pieces here and there -

“You can’t protect him by -”

And “We need you, dipshit!”

And “I swear to fucking Merlin, Jamie -”

But nothing really solid. She watches through the window as they scream, until suddenly Remus reaches out and pulls James into a kiss. Mary drops Lily’s hand in shock, and watches with a gaping mouth as Remus lets go of James to pull Sirius into him, kissing him passionately and without reserve. Finally, when he pulls away, he glares at the two men and seethes something just loud enough for her to hear -

“Listen up, you idiots. That child needs our protection. That means hiding. We know fuck all about the future but this is war. Our baby is not gonna die because the people who love him can’t let him go.”

Sirius and James both nod sagely, James leaning in to peck Remus on the mouth - “Sorry, Remy.” - before he wanders back inside the hospital room. Outside, Remus collapses into Sirius’ arms, the two of them holding each other and rocking back and forth. James looks up at Mary from the other side of Lily’s bed and smiles wryly.

“Shit, huh?” He mutters, and Mary, speechless, nods.

ELEVEN: Fleamont & Euphemia Potter

Fleamont and Euphemia Potter go into hiding when James and Lily do, knowing they could be tortured for their whereabouts despite not knowing them. Remus comes bursting through their fireplace on Halloween, covered in cuts and bruises and coughing with baby Harry cradled against his chest. Through hacking breaths and with glassy eyes, he tells them their son is dead with his wife and Sirius has been arrested for their murder, along with Peter’s and some Muggles’. He kisses their foreheads and tells them to take care of themselves, leaving with the last words he ever says to them -

“I loved your son. So did Sirius. We - I will do everything I can to protect Harry. I promise.”

He disappears through the fireplace before they can respond, leaving them to grieve.

TWELVE: Walburga & Orion Black

After leaving Harry with Dumbledore, who assures him the child will be given to the custody of his living father as soon as he’s emerged from his undercover work (a lie, Remus later learns), Remus makes his way to Regulus’ grave. There’s no body there, of course, but Remus never got to say goodbye to the boy he considered something of a son, and he figures now, when he’s lost everything, is as good a time as any.

It turns out he’s not alone - Walburga and Orion Black, not yet locked up in Azkaban for their crimes, are there already, and spit in his face for daring to grieve their son when he’s a werewolf who supposedly turned their other one queer and heady. Remus stares them down, and in a calm voice with his hands in his pockets tells them -

“I loved Regulus like a brother. As for Sirius… well, he married two blokes. Oh -” He smirks. “And he was damn good in bed, too.”

Walburga lets out a shrill scream, turning her wand on Remus, and he holds his head high as he disarms both her and her husband and promptly kills the two people who made his husband’s life a living hell for sixteen years. As he stands there, staring at their still-warm bodies and always-cold eyes, he can feel no remorse - only a deep ache, loss and regret plaguing him with age long before his time.

THIRTEEN: Molly & Arthur Weasley

Twelve years pass without so much as a breath from Sirius or Remus. James is six feet under and Harry is thirteen, and after the havoc that occurs at Hogwarts his third year, they settle at Grimmauld Place, together. Molly and Arthur are tasked with bringing them essentials and information, and take notice of the fact that the two rarely leave each other’s sides. They’re wearing their wedding bands, which Molly does not fail to notice are marked with antlers as well as moons and pawprints, and Remus has another ring around a chain on his neck with only a pawprint and a moon. They look tired and worn out, Sirius more than Remus, and one day Molly pulls him aside to ask him privately if they’re doing alright.

Remus gives her a wry smile, his eyes twinkling just the slightest bit as he answers, “Yes. Of course.” Molly asks him again, saying she’s worried, and Remus shrugs, looking through doorways to Sirius, at the table with Arthur.

“I’ve had twelve years to grieve. Getting Sirius - getting my husband back was the greatest happiness I could ever ask for. But Sirius, he… he was never allowed to truly mourn. He’s still…”

He gets this distant look in his eyes and startles when Molly touches his arm, offering a small smile.

“I’ve had time to grieve our partner, is all I’m saying,” he murmurs. “Sirius needs time before he can even begin to forgive himself for what happened to James.”

Molly keeps her shock inward, squeezing Remus’ arm once before ushering her husband out the door. Watching from outside as Grimmauld Place folds back into itself, she thinks she sees two silhouettes in the window, melting into one.

FOURTEEN: Nymphadora Tonks

Nymphadora Tonks falls in love with Remus Lupin almost the moment she meets him. He’s handsome, he’s funny, he’s kind and smart and brave - what else could you want? And she thinks he likes her too - even if her cousin is desperately in love with him, which she would have to be blind not to see. But she knows this the way she knows the rhythm of her heartbeat in her chest - Remus Lupin was born to be hers.

So imagine her surprise when his response to her confession is to shake his head and laugh.

“I’m a married man, Dora,” he drawls, standing and flashing his ring towards her around a glass of whiskey. “I thought you knew that. I am sorry to say I cannot return your feelings… beyond my marriage, age, and lycanthropy, you must have noticed that women are not… my area.”

Tonks flushes red, jerking back in shock. So her cousin…

“Is it Sirius?” She blurts, and Remus turns towards her again, his eyes twinkling. He nods.

“Yes,” he answers. “Though, I had a second husband… long ago, and a partner more than anything…”

With a distant look in his eyes, he leaves her heartbroken at the dining room table, but not before she sees him slip into a waiting Sirius’ arms, holding him close to his chest as they dance, their eyes closed and two rings bearing antlers hanging between them.

FIFTEEN: Hermione Granger

She starts to wonder, right around the beginning of her fifth year, why Harry seems to have no interest in hanging out with anyone besides her and Ron. Now, she and Ron, they’re in love with each other; Hermione’s neither daft nor blind. But Harry’s in love with them both too, she realizes, and his closest relationships outside of that are past platonic but far from romantic: she can’t call what he has with Luna or Draco “normal”. The summer before her sixth year, she travels to Grimmauld Place, needing some time alone to think before the war envelopes them all. But she finds, when she arrives, that she’s not alone - there, at the dining room table, is Remus, holding a glass of whiskey and wearing three identical rings on a chain around his neck.

“Professor Lupin?” She asks, and Remus smiles wryly. “What’re you doing here?”

Remus sighs, leaving his glass on the table as he stands and grabs his coat.

“Just a bit of reminiscing, my dear,” he says. “No matter. Off we go now, this place belongs to Harry and we have no right to…”

He trails off, his eyes glistening, and Hermione watches his Adam’s apple bob and averts her eyes to the rings, each holding a different two of three symbols: a pawprint, a moon, and a pair of antlers. One of them is the one Sirius used to wear around, always a little loose on his finger from all that malnourishment… Remus must have just grasped it before he fell through the Veil. At the thought, her breath catches in her throat.

“Sirius was your…” She says, and stops when Remus flinches. He gives her a kind smile and nods.

“Yes,” he says. “And James as well, though that was different. More of a… friend, partner - soulmate? -” Hermione coughs. “- than a lover. But, yes. Not that it matters now.”

Hermione’s heart stops in her chest.

“Of course it matters,” she fires back. “You loved him. You loved him, and he’s dead.”

Remus looks down at her, his smile gone, and shrugs.

“All things end, Hermione,” he murmurs. “Especially good things.”

He opens the door and has one foot outside when he turns back to her and says, “Miss Granger?” She looks up at him from her hands, shaking and devoid of rings, and nods.

“Yes?”

Remus smiles, his eyes sad.

“Tell your Harry we love him. All seven of the Marauders, even if some of us never really got to meet him. And tell him… tell him that even if he didn’t die for him or raise him, his father loves him.”

Hermione’s brow furrows, but she nods.

“Of course,” she promises, though she has no idea who the other three Marauders are and could not even begin to guess what Remus means by his comment on Harry’s father. “I will.”

Remus smiles one last time, tips his invisible hat to her, and disappears out the front door and into the night.

ONE: Harry Potter

Remus marries Tonks, but doesn’t love her. Teddy is an accident, and only his in name. Remus will only ever have one son, and his name is Harry Potter.

In the Battle of Hogwarts, Remus Lupin dies with three rings around his neck and a secret in his chest. He does not tell Harry. He doesn’t want to burden him.

Their love, along with them, is dead and gone anyway. But when he sees Sirius and James in the white light, for the split second between life and death -

He wonders.

59 notes · View notes

fandomlovingfreak · 4 years ago

Text

Healing His Heart (10/?)

Young Remus Lupin/Reader

Rating: E for Everyone

Word Count: 3267

MasterList Link I AO3 Link I Wattpad Link I Tiktok Link

Summary: (y/n) is two years younger than him, a popular Slytherin, and Regulus Black’s best friend. Yet he can’t help but be attracted to her bewitching personality and sweet smile. Unfortunately, his er–problem makes it harder to get close to others. Despite his attempts to push her away (for her own good) she seems determined to worm her way into his life.

Enjoy

"What are you going to get (y/n) for Christmas?" Sirius is leaning against the table in the common room, his feet reaching out to the fireplace.

Remus looks up from his book, "I haven't thought about it."

Sirius turns to frown at him, "You haven't thought about it at all?"

Remus shrugs, "I don't see (y/n) being so-- uppity about things like that."

His friend rolls his eyes, "Yes, (y/n) isn't necessarily material, but she's still your girlfriend."

Remus frowns again, "has she told you something? Did she get me something?"

"She hasn't directly told me anything, but (y/n)'s always been thoughtful. She gets Regulus and me something every year."

Oh.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" He closes his book.

"I didn't assume I had to tell you to buy a gift for your girlfriend, Moons."

"Shit..." Remus tries to think up some sort of plan. How the hell would he get something... "is this next weekend a Hogsmeade weekend?"

"It is."

"I'm going to need you to distract (y/n), so I can shop around."

"She's going to be suspicious--"

His brow furrows in frustration, "Well, do you have a better plan, Sirius?"

Sirius's grin

"Go talk to Regulus. It would be a lot less weird if she were distracted by him."

Remus nods, "yeah, yeah. I'm going to go find him now."

***

He roams the halls, hopeful he'll run into Regulus eventually. Remus is about to give up when he spots the boy walking in the distance.

"Regulus!" He calls down the hall.

Regulus stops, turning slowly to face him, "Remus?"

Remus briskly walks towards Regulus, "can I talk to you?"

"Yes?"

"Wait, is... (y/n) around?"

Regulus frowns, "no? Why-- what are you--"

"Okay, good. I wanted to ask you if she got me anything for Christmas."

Regulus's frown disappears, replaced with a knowing smile, "why?"

"Because--" he pulls an awkward smile, "I don't know if she got me something, and I haven't got her anything-- and Sirius made me feel weird about it. I desperately need your help."

"You haven't got her anything? You realize Christmas Day is less than two weeks away, right?"

Remus sighs, "I'm aware. I didn't know we were doing gifts."

"She's staying at the castle with you, isn't she?"

"Yes? Are you not staying for the holidays as well?"

Regulus nods, "I am. Only for (y/n), though. She said you four were busy Christmas Day? Didn't say what you were up to--"

"Oh! It's nothing! Just something we planned, ya know, for the last year memories and all that." He waves his hand around, hoping Regulus will let it go.

Regulus's brows furrow, "Okay? Well, what do you need help with?"

"I need you to distract her while I find something this weekend in Hogsmeade."

Regulus crosses his arms across his chest, "Do you really think she won't be suspicious?"

He sighs, "I know she'll be suspicious, but she'll be even more suspicious if I ask Sirius to distract her. At least she ordinarily hangs out with you. Besides, I need to buy her something. This is the only chance I'll get." Remus pleads with Regulus.

"Fine. But, I'm not holding her back if she gets suspicious and comes to look for you."

"Fair enough. I appreciate it so much, Regulus."

"Yeah, yeah. It's all for (y/n), don't forget that."

Remus smiles, "Wouldn't dream of it."

***

"What are we doing this weekend?" (y/n) leans over his shoulder to look at the piece of parchment he's been scribbling on for the past hour and a half. She lazily wraps her arms around his neck, leaning her chin rest at the junction of his neck and shoulder.

Remus smiles, hoping he can be convincing as he tells her a small white lie, "I have a paper due Monday."

"How long is it? You can't possibly be busy all weekend on one paper. I've seen you finish multiple pages of parchment in hours, Remus!"

"It's an important one! I don't-- I don't know a lot about the subject... so I have to research--" He scrambles to sound convincing.

(y/n) steps away, moving in front of him. She gently grabs his chin, looking him deep in the eyes. "Are you feeling okay?"

Remus's face pinkens, "I'm fine..."

"You're acting weird again. Are you-- are you already feeling symptoms?"

Remus rolls his eyes, "No. I'm completely fine. I promise."

(y/n)'s lips are twisted in an unconvinced grimace, "You're sure?"

He sighs, "Yes. One hundred percent. I'm feeling pretty good today. Besides, the-- moon isn't full for another... eleven days."

(y/n) releases her grip on his chin, shrugging, "I dunno. Just a bit anxious, I guess?"

He frowns, cocking his head, "what are you anxious about?"

(y/n) releases a heavy breath, "You should probably get used to me being anxious over you. I don't think the feeling will go away any time soon." Her laugh is dry as she absentmindedly reaches to fiddle with the collar of his sweater.

"Darling," he pulls her onto his lap, "you have nothing to be anxious about. I promise."

(y/n)'s fingers comb through his bangs, eyes refusing to meet his gaze, "I hate that I can't be with you... Let me at least try to become an Animagus. I would feel so much better knowing exactly where you are--"

"I don't want you in any danger. You're safe in the castle. I need to know you are safe." He brushes his thumb across her cheek. "I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you."

"You won't! You don't hurt James, Sirius, or Peter. Why would I get hurt?"

He cups her face in his warm hands, "The chance that it may happen will always outweigh anything else. Besides, just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean it will never."

"You're too cautious." She pouts. Remus runs his thumb across her protruding bottom lip.

"I'm cautious enough."

"Remus," she whines, "I can take care of myself."

Remus bites his lip, thoroughly liking the breathy, pouty way she says his name. "You take care of me constantly. Let me protect you the best way I can."

(y/n)'s eyes soften, "Protect me?"

"Yes, from me."

She touches his face gently, "I'm not afraid of you, Remus. Your condition doesn't change the fact that you are the most gentle, loving person I know."

"But not-- then. I'm not any of those things during that time-- I wouldn't recognize you even if I could try to..." His eyes flick down to the ground.

"I want to be there for you, Remus."

He meets her eyes. She looks at him with such adoration, and he doesn't know quite what to do with it. "You already are there for me. Always. In ways, I don't think you acknowledge all the times. Let me think about the animagus thing. And if I agree, I don't want you to follow in the rest of the Marauder's steps. It has to be legal."

(y/n) rolls her eyes, "Obviously, I'll be registered."

"Good."

***

The plan is that Regulus would keep her preoccupied at the Three Broomsticks for as long as possible. He can't help but chuckle, thinking about Regulus attempting to keep (y/n) in one building for an hour or so when she's already suspicious of him.

He makes his way to Tomes and Scrolls, intending to find something healing related. There had to be something healing related in there that will make her smile when she opens it on their makeshift Christmas.

He still can't believe she's chosen to spend the holidays with him over going home. Remus plans on making the week after the full moon especially special for his beautiful girlfriend.

The witch running the store kindly at him as he walks into the cozy store. "Are you looking for anything specific, dear?"

"Do you have anything on healing?"

"We have a whole section in the back here," she leads him towards the section.

"Thank you," Remus smiles back before he starts to look at the numerous texts. There are books on nearly every sort of healing magic: potions, charms, spells... the more generic books are probably already in (y/n)'s possession, so he looks closer to the more specific books.

For a moment, he thinks that it would be a tiny bit funny if he got her a book on lycanthropy... but he thinks it wouldn't be a suitable Christmas present. Maybe some other time.

Eventually, he picks out one on advanced herbology related to healing. It's perfect. There's no way she has anything like it yet.

Setting down the book on the counter, the witch asks him if he found everything he needed.

"I did. Thank you." He pays the woman, and she wraps his purchase in a brown paper piece, tied together with a bit of string.

Remus makes his way back to the castle without running into (y/n) or anyone else and is able to get back to the library to make it seem like he had been writing the entire day, just in time.

(y/n) wraps arms around his neck as she sits down in his lap, "hello!"

Remus kisses her temple, leaning back in his chair and pretending to stretch his back.

She picks up his parchment, "You didn't even write anything all day!"

"I-- I was reading before I started...?"

(y/n) laughs, "you sure you're feeling okay?"

Remus sighs, "Yes, I am fine. I promise I am fine. You'll be the first person to know the moment I don't feel normal."

"Fair enough."

***

Christmas Eve arrives on the tail of a snowstorm. Remus wakes early and glances out of the window. The grounds have been covered in a thick white blanket.

He's pulling on his sweater when Sirius shoots up from a dead sleep. His usually immaculately styled hair is sticking up all over from sleep.

"What day is it?" he rubs his eyes.

"The twenty-fourth."

"Makeshift Christmas--" Sirius falls back into his bed, soft snores continuing.

Remus shakes his head before heading out of the dorm, determined to spend every moment of this day with (y/n).

Thanks to the holidays, the Great Hall is nearly empty. Only a few stragglers are left, the four large tables being replaced with one substantially smaller one.

Remus spots (y/n) and Regulus in the far-middle of the table. He slides into the spot next to her. "Morning."

(y/n) instantly moves closer to him to press a chaste kiss to his lips, "morning."

"How'd you sleep?" he hugs her close to his side, picking up a mug that appears in front of him.

(y/n) snuggles up closer to him, "very good."

Regulus rolls his eyes, "Really, guys? I'm right here."

(y/n) sticks her tongue out at him, "Nothing is happening here that should disgust you, Regulus Black."

Regulus takes another sip of his drink, choosing to change the subject, "what's the plan for today?"

(y/n) looks at him, her lips pinched as she ponders the question. If they were alone, he was sure. She'd ask what he was up for and if he was feeling okay.

"Relax," she leans her head on Remus's shoulder.

Regulus groans, "that's so boring--"

"We don't have to spend the entire day like that," Remus laughs, "I'm sure Sirius won't be too keen on sitting around all day."

At that moment, Sirius, James, and Peter walk up to them, "Morning."

"I'm surprised you three are up," Remus directs his words towards his friends.

Sirius stretches his arms over his head, yawning dramatically, "Me too."

"What's the agenda today, boys-- and (y/n)," James plops down across from them.

"(y/n) wants just to relax," Regulus mimics her voice, grinning when she smacks him on the shoulder.

"So boring. Let's go mess around on the grounds. Look at all the snow we got!" Sirius lightly knocks his shoulder against Remus'.

(y/n) shrugs, "why not."

***

"You sure you're warm enough?" he moves her scarf up over her nose.

(y/n) frowns, "I'm fine. It's not that cold out, Remus."

He smiles down at her. Her frown is adorable, half-covered by her green scarf. "Just making sure."

"I should be asking you these questions. Not the other way around." She reaches up to tug his hat further down his head.

"I don't get cold."

"Yeah, sure," she grabs his hand, "where are your gloves? Do you even own gloves, Remus Lupin?"

He shakes his head, "I just said I don't get cold."

"Everybody needs gloves, Remus."

"Are you two done fussing?" Sirius is leaning against the door.

"Did you know he didn't own gloves?" (y/n) turns towards Sirius.

"How is that my issue?"

(y/n) frowns at him, "well, you've shared a room with him for the past seven years, I would assume you'd pick up a bit more on your friends."

"He's not my responsibility; that's why you're here." Sirius teases.

Remus rolls his eyes, "Not a child, guys."

(y/n) turns her attention back to him, "You don't take care of yourself."

"I just don't own gloves!"

"I have to remind you to eat," (y/n) raises a brow.

"And before she did that, that job fell to James and me."

"Okay, so--" Remus feels his cheeks burn, "I'm forgetful, not a child."

(y/n) laughs, cupping his cheeks in her gloved hands, "No?"

"I'm older than you, you know." He moves her scarf down to press a kiss to her lips.

"Godric-- can we get going?" Sirius complains, pushing off the door's frame.

"Sorry," Remus chuckles, taking (y/n)'s hand in his.

***

The grounds are covered in a thick layer of wet snow, perfect for snowball fights and rolling snowmen. James and Sirius are already building up an impressive fort by molding the snow into walls around them, laughing together about something. Peter has busied himself a distance away by rolling a large snowball to make a snowman.

(y/n) sits between Remus's legs as they sit and observe the other three. She's leaning against his chest, fully content to be in his arms.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispers in her ear.

(y/n) hums, snuggling closer, "Just enjoying being with you."

He grins, feeling like the luckiest man in the world. "Yeah?"

"Yup. Can't wait to spend the whole next week with you, alone hopefully."

Remus's heart beats faster at the request, "Yes. Alone. Somewhere beside the back of the library for once..."

(y/n) turns in his arms to look at him, grinning widely, "not in the library? Where were you thinking then?"

Remus gets shy with her eyes on him, "I dunno..."

"You're so cute when you're flustered." (y/n) turns, pushing him down on his back, her hips straddling his as she leans over him. Remus stares up at her, her face inches from his, unsure what he's supposed to do. (y/n) seems to notice his hesitation, sitting up.

"Are you-- are you okay with this?" She looks as flustered as he feels.

Remus nods, "I am. I'm completely okay with this... I just--"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to be so-- aggressive!" She laughs, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips.

"Really, guys?" James shouts, "we're out here building a fort, and you two are rolling around on the ground snogging."

(y/n) turns her head slightly, "sod off, Potter." Remus chuckles, sitting up on his forearms.

"You know--"

"Don't bother them, Potter." Regulus chucks a snowball at James's head.

"Regulus? Where have you been?" Sirius is chuckling as James brushes snow off of his coat.

"You're dead, Reggie!" James ducks down behind the fort to grab up snow.

"I was getting some last-minute things wrapped up," Regulus ducks as James chucks a snowball at him.

"Last-minute things?" (y/n) has moved off of Remus to watch the boys as snowballs begin to fly. He pulls her back against his chest, leaning his chin on his shoulder as he watches his friends.

"Had to send mum her gift. Listened to the Howler she sent--"

"She sent a Howler?" Sirius ducks behind the snow walls.

"You'll get one, too--" Regulus laughs.

"Oh no, what's this one about?"

A snowball nails Regulus in the face, "Ow-- She's pissed that we decided to stay here instead of spending the holidays at home."

"She knows we hate those stuffy Christmas parties. She shouldn't be surprised we've skipped."

"That's true. I don't think I could drag (y/n) to another one--"

"You could not. I'm done having people assume we're dating Regulus." (y/n) snuggles back into Remus's arms. Remus hides his grin in the crook of her neck.

Regulus looks over at her, a broad smile on his face, "I should've known telling Madame Guillebeaux we've been dating for two years, as a joke, last Christmas was a bad idea."

(y/n) giggles, "Probably would've been wise not to do that!"

Regulus looks like he's going to say something when he is pelted with another snowball. He whips his head towards his brother, who is doubling over with laughter. "Fuck! Sirius!"

***

Remus and (y/n) are wrapped up in a blanket on the Gryffindor Common Room's couch, warming up after their time in the cold. The rest of the boys, uninterested in hanging around the warm fireplace with them, are off doing their own thing. James, Sirius, and Peter are out scheming for the next semester's prank agenda. Regulus, uninterested in both watching his best friend snuggled up with her boyfriend and listening to his older brother and his friends planning pranks, is back in the Slytherin Common Room with the few other Slytherin students staying in the castle.

(Y/n)'s fingers are entangled with his. He admires the way his hand dwarfs hers.

"I got you something." He presses a kiss to her temple, moving to reach behind to where he's stashed the brown paper-covered present.

"You got me something?" her eyes sparkle in the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree.

"Of course," he watches her start to unopen the package.

"Salazar-- Herbology and Healing? How'd you know? I meant to pick this up eventually. It's not part of the curriculum, but Professor Shirley suggested it... how'd you know?"

Remus grins, happy that she likes the book, "I'm glad you like it. And to answer your question, I didn't know you wanted it. I saw, and I thought you'd like it, honestly."

(y/n) throws her arms around him, "thank you!"

Remus holds her close, "of course."

(y/n) pulls away, reaching behind her for a package wrapped in red and green paper, "I got you something as well."

"Yeah? You didn't have to--"

"Nonsense. I wanted to. Open it!" she shoves the package towards him.

Remus grins down at the package, carefully opening the paper.

(y/n) scowls at him, "please don't tell me you're one of those people who tries to save the wrapping?"

"Well, now I'm not." He rips into the packaging as he chuckles. He finds a pair of expensive-looking gloves inside the paper. He stares down at them.

"Do you like them?" (y/n)'s biting her lip nervously.

"Oh wow, (y/n). These look expensive--"

"Merlin," she rolls her eyes, "it doesn't matter how expensive they were. They're good quality, warm gloves."

He slips one on, testing the gloves. "they're really nice."

"Do you like them?" eagerness laces her words.

"Of course I do. They're fantastic."

(y/n) giggles, "I'm glad you like them. You can't make up excuses about gloves now, Remus Lupin."

"Oh, so this gift was to prove a point, eh?" He laughs, putting on the other glove.

"Maybe a little. But, you needed gloves."

"Thank you, darling." Remus leans forwards to kiss her cheek.

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ninak803 · 4 years ago

Text

Elitist Nightmares

Chapter two is here! I hope y'all enjoy it! I have to say I love Regulus.

@whataboutmyfries thank you sooo much for beta reading it & listening to me when I am screaming my thoughts at you again!

& thanks to @lumosinlove for creating our cute boys!

Chapter 2

Remus

It was calm outside, everyone still asleep except for him and Leo. The sun was rising and Remus parked the rental car in a good distance from the Black's mansion, but not too far so he can still watch who’s leaving and arriving.

He had picked up the car last night from a rental agency at the airport. He’d given them his fake I.D., no one needed to know who he really was, and it was much safer that way. He tried to be as unremarkable as possible: He wore blue jeans, a black sweater, no hat and no watch. He was polite but not too polite; he was forgotten right after the conversation. The only thing he persisted on was that his car was white.

White cars are the most common around, so he would be even more unrecognizable like that.

No one would pay attention to a random bloke driving a random white car. And that was his goal. No attention.

“And now?” Leo asked him.

Remus took a sip from his tea, trying to get rid of his tiredness with the caffeine.

“Now we wait for something to happen, for Sirius to appear. And then we’ll see.”

They sat in silence for a good while.

The street came to life slowly. The first people showing up, taking their dogs for a walk and buying breakfast at the close bakery. Some were already outside for a run.

Remus had never understood the urge of going for a run, let alone early in the morning. He did go for a run once in a while, to keep himself fit and healthy, but he wasn’t addicted to it like some people were. He did it because it was essential for his job to be in shape, not because he actually enjoyed it.

The Black’s mansion got busy shortly after.

“Okay, now just watch who’s leaving the house. Write it down: Who left the house when, who’s arriving when. Give a short description of what they look like, so we recognize them again. Write it down or memorize it.”

At 7:37am Orion and Walburga Black left their house. They sat down in the shiny, black car that was parked in the parking lot. The driver sitting inside was already waiting for at least 30 minutes.

They left, probably for some state business.

It took another hour until their target finally left the house: Sirius Black.

Remus sat up straighter, his eyes not leaving Sirius. He wore dark jeans and a white button down, no tie. His hair was longer now than the last time he’d seen him. It reached just past his shoulders. His face didn’t show any kind of emotion, it was set in stone.

He was followed by another guy in a suit with dark and messy hair, probably his bodyguard. They headed for a car.

Remus stretched his back a bit.

“Here we go.” he said and turned the engine on.

Finn

“Can you believe this? We’re going to eliminate a Black! A Black!” Logan said excitedly as they entered their flat.

Finn felt Logan's hands on his shoulder, then he was shaken gently.

“Regulus Black, Fish! Dumbledore trusts in our abilities so much that he gives us this job!”

Finn laughed. He looked into Logan’s perfect green eyes. His heartbeat quickened because of the touch and the proximity. He could kiss him,if he just moved a little more forward, but instead he took a deep breath and stepped away a little bit from his best friend.

“Okay, yeah Lo, I’m just as excited as you are about this, but calm down okay?” Finn said but couldn’t quite suppress his grin.

It was a big deal. No, not big. It was huge.

They had other jobs before, of course, but they’ve been smaller, not so important for all of them. Observing Umbridge, trying to find out what she was up to next, for example. Sure, it was important, but it didn’t have the same impact on the country as eliminating a black did.

“Who do you think has the older brother?” Logan asked and sat down on the couch in their living room.

There was a short silence, then:

“Lupin.” they said at once, not one ounce of uncertainty in their voices.

Finn sat down next to him.

“Okay, I’m going to make us coffee & then we’ll have a lot of work to do before we can actually start this.” he said, leaning back and looking at Logan’s profile.

He had a crush on him since… well, forever. Finn couldn’t quite remember a time he wasn’t longing for him. They lived together for two years now. It had made sense then: They were working a lot together, being a perfect team. They did spend every minute together, so why not save some money and share a flat? Finn hadn’t thought about the fact that this meant no Logan-free space anywhere, which wasn’t exactly helping him, considering the fact that he was in love with a boy he couldn’t have.

“Ouais. Okay.”

Finn got up and went into the kitchen to make coffee. He poured some milk into his cup and an incredibly unhealthy amount of sugar into Logan’s. How could he drink this stuff? It’s a crime to still call that coffee.

He went back into the living room, placed the cups on the table and sat down on the floor across from Logan, who’s still sitting on the couch.

“Thanks.” he said and reached for his cup, took a sip of his coffee and then they started working.

“I think this actually sounds like a good plan. He isn’t that close to his brother, is he?” Finn asked.

He stared at the paperwork in front of him. He was still sitting on the floor. They were working for a couple of hours now, collecting everything they knew, comparing it with what Dumbledore had given them and writing down everything they still needed to know and what they planned on doing.

Finn looked up as he didn’t get any answer from Logan, only to see that he’d fallen asleep on the couch. Finn had to smile at that sight, so the sugar and caffeine high finally had worn off.

He stood up, took the light blanket from the couch and covered Logan with it.

“Good night, Lo.” he whispered and brushed his hand gently through Logan’s brown curls.

Sirius

This day never ended, at least that’s what it felt like for Sirius. The business meetings lasted forever and there wasn’t any free time between the last meeting and the dinner.

All Sirius did now was rush home, change into something his mother might approve more than his choice of clothing this morning and say goodbye to James.

“Take care. Don’t do anything stupid.” James pleaded.

Sirius snorted.

“Yeah. Because I do stupid things on purpose.”

“You do. Sometimes.”

James hugged him quickly.

“I’ll be back tomorrow morning. See you.”

“Tell Lily and little Harry I said Hi.” Sirius called after James.

---

Sirius hated dinners like this. Actually, he hated every activity that included his family, but those business dinners were the worst. They talked endlessly over state issues, how to regulate this better, how to get the most out of that. Sirius really wasn’t interested in it, but he had to have an opinion on every topic as the heir and of course his opinion had to be the same as his parents’. If he had another opinion, his parents would make him change his mind, so he was better off lying; he told them what they wanted to hear, despite the fact it was against everything he believed in.

“Have you ever thought about giving them something back? Like a tax return? Or lowering the taxes in general?” Sirius said against better knowledge.

That simple statement earned him furious glances from his parents, confused looking guests and a kick in the shin from his brother.

He threw an angry look at Regulus, before looking back at his parents.

“You must be kidding, my dear son. Who would ever think of something like that?” his mother said sweetly, but Sirius didn’t miss the threat directed at him.

“Of course I am joking, mother. Of course I am.” he laughed in the most charming way, but he suddenly felt really sick inside.

---

An hour later he was back in his room. He tried to undo his tie with shaking hands and after several attempts it finally was off and he threw it in the corner of his room.

Why? Why was he the goddamn heir? He couldn’t do this! He wasn’t like them. He didn’t want to be like them!

Sirius moved his hand through his hair several times, a gesture he got used to doing when he was nervous and tense, which he was more often than not around his family.

There was a sharp knock on his door and Sirius froze mid-movement.

Oh no. This had to be his mother or his father, maybe both.

“Just a sec.” he said, his voice a little shaky.

He hated it, he couldn’t even control his damn voice, then how was he supposed to control a whole fucking country.

After he took several deep breaths, Sirius went to the door and opened it, preparing to brace himself against the angry faces of his parents, but it was Regulus he found outside his room. With a plate full of food.

“You ate almost nothing at dinner, thought you might be hungry.” he said and walked past Sirius, who let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He closed the door behind him and followed Regulus to his bed. The both boys sat down and Sirius started eating. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was.

“Thanks, Reggie.”

#wolfstar #oknutzy #Sirius orion black #Remus John Lupin #finn o'hara #logan tremblay #leo knut #remus x sirius #logan x finn x leo #assassin #muggle AU #enemies to lovers #james potter #harry potter #lily x james #lily evans #regulus black

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gobletofweasleys · 5 years ago

Text

Burning Red

Summary: Soulmate AU where your chest glows red when you meet your soulmate. Sirius Black meets you at the worst possible time.

Pairing: Sirius Black x Slytherin!reader

Word Count: 2,011

Requested by @spectralbucky: dude dude dude if you can, pls write a sirius x reader with the soulmate au where your chest glows on meeting/realising/accepting your soulmate? i just think it would be beautiful and i'd love to read the way you write it 🖤

There was no sound, not even the faintest shuffle, apart from his and James' breaths. Sirius couldn't see his own feet, owing to the Invisibility Cloak covering him and his friend. He could feel James right behind him though, their steps slow, trying to keep the Cloak on both of them as they walked. It was getting harder to fit two people under it now as compared to their first year. They had both grown a lot since then, both now in their sixth year.

It was nearly 2 in the morning, and they had just finished bringing Remus back to the castle after a particularly rough transformation. For some reason, this month had been harder than ever before, and after they had settled him into his bed with a million blankets, they left Peter with him while they grabbed the Invisibility Cloak and decided to run down to the kitchens and get him as much stuff with chocolate as possible.

So far, they hadn't run into anyone, and as they descended the stairs to another dark corridor, they were ready to pull off the Cloak when footsteps sounded.

James swore quietly behind Sirius, pulling them both nearer to the wall so they wouldn't run into whoever crossed paths with them.

It was a girl, one Sirius had never seen before. He assumed she was not in their year, but a gleaming green badge on her chest showed she was the Slytherin Prefect. That explained why she was on this floor. The dungeons weren't far away.

She seemed to be humming to herself, unaware of their presence of course, before she halted. Sirius saw, to his horror, that she was looking right where he and James were standing.

"What the…?" She took a cautious step forward, eyebrows furrowed. Sirius couldn't fathom for the life of him, how she could see them, but then he heard James hiss in his ear.

"Your chest! Get behind me." There was silent scrambling before James was before him, arms now tiring from holding the Cloak in place. James' back nearly flattened Sirius into the wall, barely biting back a swear of his own. He looked down and his throat tightened at the sight of his chest, which he couldn’t really see. All he saw was a light radiating from where his chest should have been, glowing a dim red colour, right through his shirt, and apparently through the Cloak as well.

Shock and horror were Sirius' first two emotions, unable to even process what this meant. But once he had, his head whipped up, watching the girl's retreating back. She had written off whatever she saw as a trick of her eyes. She was walking away.

Sirius didn't even realize he had started to walk towards her until James was pulling him back, continuing to loudly whisper about how they couldn't afford to get into trouble again when they already had so many detentions.

"We'll find her, Padfoot. We will. But not right now. Please. We need to get the stuff we need and get back. Remus needs us."

It took everything in Sirius to consent to what James was saying and letting him tug his body the other way. His chest was still glowing, which was going to be a problem, since apparently the Cloak didn't hide soulmate glows. James took the lead this time, and Sirius followed silently.

He heard James curse in the dark of the corridor, nearly crashing into his back when he stopped abruptly.

"Dude!" He hissed. "Turn that off! It's still going!"

He was poking Sirius' chest, which was still glowing red, a sign that he had just met his soulmate. Sirius scowled at James, though he doubted his friend could see it in the dark.

"How the fuck am I supposed to turn it off?" He whisper shouted back. There was scuffling as him and James tried to find a way to cover Sirius' chest, but nothing worked. It was so bright and so visible that it shone even behind his jacket. He knew they were both making way too much noise to not be noticed, and he should have heeded his own words, because the next minute, a blast of cool air hit him as the Cloak was pulled off, both him and James freezing, eyes snapping up to meet those of Professor McGonagall.

Her lips were set in a tight line, hands clutching the Cloak, wearing a dressing gown and a cloak of her own. Her eyes were stern behind her rectangular spectacles, and Sirius knew for certain that this time, him and James were done for.

Maybe he should have been a little more worried that their best weapon, James' Invisibility Cloak, had been discovered and would be confiscated, and they would probably get detention for the rest of the year. James might even get kicked off the Quidditch Team. But at that moment, his mind was reeling with the realization that he'd met his soulmate. So as McGonagall screamed herself hoarse in her office at them, he didn't hear a word she said.

"Please Professor," James' voice broke him out of his thoughts. "I know you know what you saw. Sirius' chest- he found his soulmate!"

"I do not care." McGonagall retorted. "You two were out of bed and roaming the halls at 3 in the morning, using this-" She held up the Invisibility Cloak. "to sneak around. Unacceptable! Outrageous! And from my own house-"

She took a deep breath, face so red from all the screaming that she had to physically stop and rest her throat. Sirius didn't respond.

"She's a Slytherin." He heard himself blurt out. "All my life I've done everything to stay away from that House. And now my soulmate…"

His voice cracked, and his mind drifted off to his many Slytherin cousins, all rotten to the core and with no aim but to one day be Death Eaters. Was his soulmate planning on…?

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat, and Sirius saw that her face had considerably softened. She knew very well the relationship Sirius had with the rest of his family. He hated them. They hated him. Maybe it was her awareness of his situation that made her delicately sit on the seat before him, giving him a forlorn look.

"Mr. Black," she began. "she is your soulmate. And there are no two soulmates in this world who aren't the perfect match for each other. You best believe that she's like you, and not like her housemates."

Sirius didn't reply, praying with all his might that it was true, nodding slowly. As his acceptance for his soulmate gradually grew, the red glow in his chest slowly dimmed until it was gone.

"Right." McGonagall said after a few minutes. "This is the first and last time I'm letting you off. But-" She raised a stern finger before James could start grinning. "The last time. Hear me, Potter? One more of these shenanigans and both of you are out of Hogwarts."

Sirius should have been happy, he should have been hollering of joy that being caught so badly didn't get them any severe consequences. But he couldn't bring himself to. His mind was scrambling to remember the fleeting glance he'd gotten at the girl, his soulmate.

He wanted to see her again.

James and him didn't speak until they had gotten back to the common room, pockets overflowing with sweet treats for their friend. They dumped them all on the foot of the bed, and seeing that Remus was asleep, they both decided to retire to their own beds as well.

Everything was silent for a few minutes, before James spoke up from his bed.

"We'll find her." He promised. "We will. I'm sorry we couldn't stop. But we’re already walking a tightrope Sirius, now more than ever with what happened with McGonagall."

Sirius sighed and turned on his side. "I get it, James. It's okay."

Silence took over for a few more minutes. Sirius could practically feel that James wanted to say something. To comfort him. To tell him everything would be okay. But exhaustion weighed on both of them. And before Sirius knew it, he had drifted off.

………………..

It wasn't hard to find her. She was a Slytherin Prefect, so Remus already knew her. According to him, she was a year below them, and extremely smart. Remus made it a point by repeating over and over how nice she was, as if trying to make Sirius shun all the doubts and fears in his head. It did alleviate his worries a little, but he knew he had to talk to her himself before he found out.

He found her in the library just an hour before lights out, a stack of books on the desk and rolls of parchment scattered before her. The only sound in the space was the scratching of her quill as she wrote, bent over the table. Sirius watched the back of her head, feeling his heart beat a little faster. He wondered how to approach her. What would he say?

It turned out that he didn't have to say anything at all. Because she'd sat back after a moment, sighing and rolling her shoulders a bit. Her eyes flickered to the figure standing to her right, falling on him and stilling.

Sirius saw it immediately, under the green and black of her robes, a faint red glow exactly where her heart was. It made a warm, almost peaceful feeling wash over him, watching her react to meeting her soulmate. She seemed to realize what was happening, gasping and standing up in shock, hand pressing to her chest. The light shone through the cracks in her fingers.

Five minutes passed in silence, both of them doing nothing but staring at each other. Finally, she drew in a breath, biting her lip.

"You're the one I saw yesterday." She began. "The red floating light, that was your chest. But you were….. I couldn't see you."

Sirius nodded slowly, shuffling his feet. "Invisibility Cloak."

Again, a small bout of quiet as the information sunk in. Slowly, Sirius saw the light in her chest disappear, making his breath catch. She had accepted him.

"Sirius Black." He felt himself say, moving with hesitantly towards her. Her eyes widened.

"Regulus' brother?"

Of course she would know Regulus. They were classmates and housemates. Sirius nodded.

"Y/N Y/L/N." She offered a hand that Sirius took. He felt his breath catch again, feeling the heat on his cheeks at the contact. It took him every ounce of self control to not squeeze her hand or pull her closer to him. One look at her told him she was feeling the same way.

It was still awkward though, as Sirius watched her wring her fingers over and over. He realized she was just as nervous as he was. He understood it couldn't be easy. He was just as much of a stranger to her as she was to him. And who knew what Regulus had fed into her brain about him?

A deep fear hit him when that thought processed in his brain. Oh Merlin, what did she think of him?

"Come sit." Her voice broke him from his thoughts. She was stepping towards him. He felt her hands, the gentlest touch, take his own and tug until he was walking towards the table and taking a seat. He didn't let her pull away. He tightened his fingers around hers, holding them in place.

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips, shoulders hunching as if trying to disappear into herself. And all it did was melt Sirius' heart further, a grin taking over his own face.

He knew in that moment, that this would work. That this was the only person he would ever want to be with. It would take a while to get to know her, but McGonagall was right. This was the one person in the world that was made for him.

This was it.

...................

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#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black one shot #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #sirius black au #soulmate au #sirius black x you #sirius black oneshot #ben barnes x reader #harry potter fanfiction #marauders fanfiction #james potter

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halothenthehorns · 3 years ago

Text

All in the Family

Chapter 80: The Unexpected Task

Lily's landing was actually not uncomfortable for once. She floundered in place upon her back, but it was soft material ruffling behind her whatever it was. Worry spiking if this was some sort of trap to compel her to get comfortable, she sat up abruptly, bunching the silk blanket in her hand suspiciously. She found herself in a luxury room fit for a princess.

The canopy bed was baby blue with pink lace, the pillow looked scandalously shaped perfectly for her head, there was even a thin film draping's that were almost see-through and felt cool as rain to the touch, but were blocking out almost all the light. The moment she pushed them aside, they glided away without a second thought, and she could see a window, leading out onto the Hogwarts grounds. She stood at it for a long time, seeing Hagrid's cabin in the distance, and got a strange guess of where she was, but wanted further proof. She got it almost immediately when she passed the trunk at the end of the bed wide open with Beauxbatons uniforms neatly folded inside, and The Book resting on top. They must be inside their carriage then, possibly with Fleur making a larger appearance in the coming chapter.

Inspecting the area just a bit more, she found a private bathroom that resembled a spa more than anything, and would have believed it if someone told her she spent a weeks worth of time just enjoying being by herself and not thinking of anything but how warm the water was, even if she couldn't read any of the french labels. Once she got out she swayed on her feet for a few moments with comfortable exhaustion, for once, deciding that as she'd landed in here and nobody had come to call yet, another good rest was in order. They'd all stopped plenty of times in the past with mutual sleep at hand. It took nothing else to convince her to crawl back into the strange bed and the slightest of tugs had the curtains back around her before she was out.

Frank dithered uncomfortably in the hallway. He'd grudgingly passed several open and inviting beds in the long, candelabra lit hallway just to find Alice, to assure she was alright and this wasn't some weird trap for Harry's next task, but he'd found her peacefully asleep. She'd even found a room with some muggle invention that had music playing from a big black disk she'd figured out how to work, it sounded like a nice string quartet in the whole room. However, he didn't want to assume just because they'd shared a bed together once she'd be okay with it again, especially in even more, ah, private quarters as all of these rooms seemed set for individuals. He'd just turned away and decided to just sleep in the room across, honestly the floor looked comfortable enough to nap on at this rate, when a giggle behind him made him twirl around to see she'd rolled over and was laughing herself silly at him before beckoning him to get in while wiggling to the far side of the bed.

"But Moony!" Sirius whined, managing to sound like an irritable six year old despite being ten years plus that. "Why not just take the opportunity while we can to not have to sleep in the same place as those two wankers, I quite enjoyed it last time."

"Because last time, we hardly slept a wink," he didn't need to elaborate, and was glad they hadn't found the other two yet as he couldn't quite suppress a blush. "We're finding them first you dolt."

They'd already passed several rooms containing their other quest members asleep, and Remus was just beginning to wonder if he'd passed them accidentally somehow when he came across a room with stripped bedding, and now sure at least they were thinking the same as him, he kept his hold on Sirius and dragged him along until he found what must be the equivalent of a living room in a mansion inside this pumpkin carriage. Peter was already curled up on the queen sized sofa, fidgeting with his school tie despite the fact it was loose enough to come off. James was upside down in a squashy armchair Maxime herself could stretch out in, his glasses placed carefully on top but eyes wide awake.

There hadn't been this much awkward silence between the four of them since their first year, those first few months before they'd even decided if they liked each other, let alone would become the best friends they were supposed to be. Both of them still grinned when they entered, and Sirius couldn't stop a small, albeit grudging smile as he shook his head at the lot of them, calling them sentimental fools as he snatched some covers from the floor and padded down in yet another available couch next to the purple lit fireplace that had wine goblets only half empty he'd save for breakfast. Remus barely had time to smile before he too passed out amongst the synchronized snoring, letting his feet tangle together with Sirius' but resting on the opposite arm of the couch.

Regulus stretched languidly as he awoke, still as disoriented as ever to find the light outside was exactly where it had been when he'd gone to sleep, but the comfortable bed had rivaled his own and who evers room he'd borrowed had good taste. There were posters of all of the French National Quidditch Team doing their signature move, the Blitzen Ballet, across several posters, which had been what had drawn him into the room in the first place.

He pulled some individually wrapped macaroons out of his pocket and began eating those as he went through the rest of this persons belongings, finding several textbooks all in French he couldn't follow, but not the book they needed. He didn't really fancy going through every room to find it, but he also didn't want to start until he knew everyone was awake- "The Unexpected Task." He crumpled a purple one up in his hand in surprise all over the blokes belongings. Well, clearly Evans didn't have those same reserves.

James startled awake with a yelp, flopping right out of the chair and confused for several long moments. Whoever would have thought waking up to the sound of Evans' voice would give him heart failure? The others were stirring with only slightly more dignity, he couldn't even blame Sirius when the first thing he did was reach up and snag those wine glasses to finish them off as her voice echoed around them before they'd even had morning tea.

"Evans does an impression of McGonagall telling off Harry too well," Peter groaned, trying to shove the blanket through his skull.

Remus looked like he was trying to burrow into the couch for more rest without comment, and James and Sirius woke up too hungry to really be paying much attention as their head of house held up Ron and Harry after class for something as silly as not paying attention. The two of them were busy trading a basket of fried fish back and forth and lamenting how fast it was vanishing when they simultaneously choked on the cold batter upon hearing no detention was being served, but quite the unexpected task indeed.

"Harry has to wha-?" Remus actually jerked his head free from his cocoon.

"Get a date, and dance her?" Peter repeated, inspecting the sleep he'd rubbed from his eyes as if expecting to find something else contaminating him.

"Or him," Sirius corrected with a suddenly wicked smile, "maybe he'll ask Ron, you don't know Wormy." The snide remark had slide easily from his tongue as he envisioned the fun of Hogwarts hosting something like a dance, it wasn't until he looked over to see his mate blush and stammer at the idea that he really, fully woke up. He wouldn't have believed it five seconds ago himself.

Peter was smiling to himself despite not able to look over at Sirius, and James swooped in to save the awkward silence. "Listen to this poor kid telling McGonagall he isn't going to do it! A books not good enough anymore, I'd pay money to see this in action!"

For just a moment, they all got a good laugh out of that.

They weren't the only ones, Frank and Alice were having their own fits of laughter still curled up in bed. Frank could at least sympathize with Harry though as he struggled to even conceptualize asking Cho out, he'd had a crush on Alice for months before he'd over heard her struggling with Charms and offering to tutor her. Asking her out, outright and to a dance, would have been insanity at that point. They both listened intently for any hint of what Neville would be up to during all of this. As much as they sympathized with Harry not being able to go alone because of his public dancing, they very much hoped Neville would at least be mentioned going with some friends rather than not at all.

Lily was giving herself a very hearty pat on the back for deciding to read this one alone. She was sure it wasn't just her imagination hearing the obnoxious laughter of the Marauders over this adorable idea, barely a teenager Regulus' pompous expression and possibly boasting he'd been trained to waltz before he could walk, and worst of all Frank and Alice's adoring looks at each other. She liked the both of them, more and more as they talked honestly, but her own life right now didn't leave her in a good position to be happy the only two people she could possibly count as friends during all this were dating and she felt like she was a third wheel half the time around them.

It was even more than that, if she were being honest with herself. While the idea of getting to dress up like that for the evening sounded nice in theory, she had about as much chance of going with anyone as Harry did Cho. Her heart sank for the poor lad as his crush admitted she was going with Cedric. Her prospects were even less endearing. Potter would ask her, of course, and anyone who proceeded to afterwords would likely end up in the hospital wing for one various reason or another until the offers stopped for a time again. And Sev...

She flipped the page hurriedly, it would be too obvious now if she stopped to stew over this, someone may come and see where she was and she wanted to actually enjoy this alone chance while she had it.

Regulus listened with the most absent of attention to these teenagers getting turned down left and right, the Marauders laughter echoing out into the hallway as he went exploring the rest of the carriage. Was he the only one who still remembered someone had put Harry in this tournament for more than embarrassing him? Nobody had even bothered to speculate on a suspect in ages, Regulus didn't really buy it was Karkaroff himself. It wasn't improving his mood he'd had no one to talk to in a while now, of course now that Peter had made up with his friends and they were all chummy again he'd go right back to being ignored. He should have known nothing about his life would ever really change no matter how much he heard.

He startled in surprise upon opening the next door as an orange cat came tottering out of the room, immediately twirling around his legs and purring in affection. Shaking his head in disbelief someone would bring their pet on this trip, he bent down regardless and gave a friendly scratch on the felines rump as he looked around once more, finding something new to wonder on. Why was it the pets were usually present? Magical animals as well, he reminded himself with a shiver of disgust at the basilisk. The paintings had all been present to, but he'd have never considered them as people. What was the criteria then for what was left behind as they were thrown around this place? It was something to ponder on at hand anyways, as he found himself sprawled on the floor, covered in cream colored fur while Hermione Granger dropped the surprise she'd gotten a date but wasn't telling who.

The chapter was finally coming to an end with everyone successfully getting dates, and Regulus snorted in disgust, was he the only one not obsessing with romance around here?

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #GoF #Marauders #Wolfstar #Jilly #Regulus Black #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #James Potter #Peter Pettigrew #Lily Evans #Frank Longbottom #Alice Smith

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xomarauders · 4 years ago

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part four!!! read the whole thing here on ao3!!

tw: depictions of violence

—

Euphemia was trying to be a good hostess. She was trying to offer tea and light conversation, but the shakiness of her hands as she poured the kettle and the quiver of her lip gave away her worry. James stared at her, wishing he could offer some help but he was vibrating out of his own skin as it was. Remus and his mother had arrived just a few hours ago, having used the floo network despite Hope’s wariness of stepping into the green flames without her wizard of a husband to reassure her it was safe. Remus was nearly sitting on top of James, their arms touching and knees knocking together, neither of them being able to sit comfortably together on the small sofa chair now that they were practically grown. They both sat, waiting, feeling absolutely useless as Fleamont made calls in his study to anyone who could possibly help.

“Would you like any cream in your tea, Hope?” Euphemia asked.

“No, thank you. Sugar is fine.”

“Remus? Tea?”

“I’m okay, Mrs. Potter.”

“Mia is fine, dear.”

They became silent once more. James was becoming more and more impatient. He should be doing something. He should be at the Black’s home in London, pounding on the door and demanding to see Sirius. He shouldn’t be sitting there with the possibility of his friend being hurt hanging above his head. Sirius wouldn’t hesitate to look for James, to look for any of them. Sirius would rather die than abandon his friends.

James felt like an awful friend.

His thoughts of self-loathing were interrupted by a knock on the door. Remus froze next to him, his entire body tensing with anticipation of who it could be. Euphemia was up before anyone else could move, hurrying towards the entry way as if her life depended on it—as if Sirius life depended on it. When the large door swung open, it revealed a young woman with long, dark hair, skin like porcelain and vaguely familiar eyes. Rushing up the steps behind her was a young man with a much tanner complexion and a mess of curly hair a top his head. He was carrying something in a blanket. Or rather, someone.

“He kept muttering about the Potters,” The girl started, her voice wobbly as Euphemia ushered her inside. James was out of his seat, as well as Remus, when they noticed the unconscious figure in the man’s arms was Sirius. He was pale, deathly so, with a smattering of colorful bruises covering him. Most of him was being shielded by the thick quilt he had been wrapped in, but from what the two boys could tell, their friend had been through hell.

“We found him on the side of the road,” The girl was still talking, her voice almost too fast to keep up with, “We didn’t—Regulus, he wrote to me. I didn’t know he could still write to me, but he told me Sirius was gone and at first I wasn’t sure if I believed him, I thought perhaps it was a trick, but Ted and I went to search for him anyway and he was—Gods—there was so much blood. I didn’t know what to do, we had to take Dora to Ted’s parents because she just kept crying when she saw him and I—”

“Andy, slow down. You’re going to pass out.” The man—Ted—said, his voice much calmer. James looked between the two of them, realizing with a jolt that this was Sirius’ cousin, Andromeda. Sirius had spoken about her a few times and had mentioned how she had been disowned from the family for falling in love with a muggleborn. The resemblance between Andromeda and Sirius wasn’t identical, but still there in the expressions she made and the sharpness of her cheeks.

“Here, put him on the table.” Euphemia said, helping Ted lay Sirius on the now cleared off kitchen table. James stole a glance at Remus who was hovering in the doorway with a shocked look on his face, as if he couldn’t believe it was his friend lying there in a mess of his own blood. Fleamont came in, followed by Hope who must’ve been the only one who had thought to inform Fleamont of the current circumstances occurring in his home.

“Jesus Christ,” Hope mumbled, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as tears sprung into her eyes. It was as if her reaction triggered something in Remus because suddenly, he was lurching forward, smacking his knees against the kitchen tile and grasping towards Sirius. He was screaming, but James couldn’t decipher what the words were exactly—probably desperate plea for Sirius to be okay, the same one that was threatening to crawl up James’ own throat.

Andromeda grabbed hold of Remus, his head tucking against her shoulder as he wailed and James stood shell-shocked. He didn’t know what to do in situations like this. He couldn’t offer any comfort; he couldn’t even move. If he moved, he’d be on the floor just like Remus was and he couldn’t do that right now. He just couldn’t. Instead, he directed his gaze back towards his mother and Ted. They were working furiously, with Ted peeling away the remainder of Sirius’ shirt from his body while Euphemia cast as many healing spells as she could. Hope appeared in the mix at some point with damp cloths, dabbing away at the blood across Sirius’ body and Fleamont excused himself to make more calls, specifically to Dumbledore and the auror office.

Please wake up, Padfoot, James thought to himself. Please.

A gurgled cough came in response as Sirius’ body convulsed. His eyes fluttered open and for a moment, they were full of nothing but pure terror and fear. He screamed as Ted went to touch him before realizing that it wasn’t his father. Remus was still sobbing in Andromeda’s arms, though Sirius didn’t seem to notice anyone else was in the room aside from Ted.

“Sirius,” James finally spoke, his voice sounding much more broken than he thought it would.

Sirius looked toward him, eyes widening and tears spilling down his cheeks.

“James.”

#sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #wolfstar #sirius black angst #sirius black whump #fanfiction #wolfstar angst #wolfstar whump #harry potter #marauders fanfiction #💭 by kat

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mxstyassasxin · 4 years ago

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Baptize Me (T, 2k)

on AO3

Regulus woke, terrified again, screaming at the nightmare that would probably plague him for the rest of his life. As with every night, he was momentarily disoriented, looking around in confusion at the softly decorated room, pale walls offset by the rich raspberry furnishings. He was settling back onto the mounds of comfortable cushions littering the bed, taking deep breaths to calm himself, when the door opened and a woman with long red hair stood in the light from the landing, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"Regulus," her voice was as comforting as the room. And familiar. "Was it the dream again?"

He swallowed his remaining fear and nodded, watching as she made her way across the room to sit on the edge of his bed, taking his hand in hers and studying his face with kind, green eyes.

"Lily," he breathed in recognition, leaning forward to wrap his arms around her, taking comfort in her steady presence. "I woke you, didn't I? You don't have to always come in here. I think you'd be doing it the rest of your life if you did."

"Yeah, well just be glad you got me and not James, he's a grumpy bugger when he's just woken up." Her laugh was light, and it added an extra glint to her eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him, her voice taking on a more sombre tone. "If it'll help, you know."

Regulus just shook his head. "It's exactly the same as all the other nights I've been here, Lils. I don't know why you don't just turn me out with Sirius."

"Because you've got a price on your head, silly," she says, mussing up his dark, Black family hair. "You're safest here."

He'd been there, in Godrics Hollow, staying with James and Lily Potter for about a month now, every night waking from the same dream, the same nightmare of what might have happened had Kreacher not managed to pull him out of that cave.

He had given the locket to the wizened house elf and begged him to go, to destroy it, yelling what he was sure would be his final orders as the Inferi dragged his weakened body further into the water. Kreacher had surprised him by appearing in the water beside him and dragging him through the ether, with magic unique to house elves, back to Grimmauld Place. One second, Regulus' lungs had been filling with icy water and the next, he had been coughing it up onto Sirius' old, dusty, scarlet bed cover.

"Sirius' room?" he had questioned Kreacher between his wracking coughs. "I won't be able to get out of here, the door's locked."

"No, but I will." Regulus had jumped at the sound of his brother's voice, gravelly from those muggle things he insisted on smoking. "Kreacher," he greeted the house elf cordially before thanking him for something. "I'll take him from here. And the locket too."

Sirius had wrapped a leather-clad arm around Regulus' waist and held out a hand which Kreacher dropped the locket into, then twisted on the spot, apparating them both to Godrics Hollow. There, Remus had fed him chocolate and healed the deep wound he had cut in his palm, while Lily wrapped her arms around his shoulders and James tried to get Sirius to stop pacing a hole in the carpet.

He had barely seen Sirius or Remus since then, the two of them always out on missions for the Order, reluctant to visit for fear of leading the Death Eaters to Regulus. Lily told him one evening that the intensity and frequency of the missions had increased since Regulus had found the locket. It had been destroyed by Dumbledore almost immediately, but it had also confirmed a theory he had that there were more like it out there, hidden in various objects the Dark Lord had felt an affinity with. So, the Order members had been sent off to recover them, James and Lily staying behind to protect Regulus following his defection.

Truthfully, it made him feel a little guilty because James definitely did not enjoy being cooped up in the one place. Obviously, he would have preferred an active mission with his best friends but, when Regulus broached these concerns with him, James had just clapped him on the shoulder.

"Of course I would, mate, but Lily's my number one now. Wherever she is, I will be too and right now, that is here, protecting my best mate's little brother. We're all lucky to have her, don't you think."

And that was exactly what Regulus did think. How could he not when she was here, comforting him after his nightmares yet again, willing to protect him with her life if necessary whenever the Death Eaters decided to come calling.

"Thank you, Lily," he said to her now. "I don't know what I would do without you. I always wake up just as they drag me under and then you're always here, in the doorway with your hair like fire. That's the only way to kill them you know."

"I know," she told him, voice soft as she smiled at him. "Get some rest now, Regulus. Do you want some Dreamless Sleep?"

He shook his head. "No, thank you. It makes me feel funny. I don't like being unaware."

"Alright then. I'll leave the landing light on though. Good night."

"Good night, Lily," he said as she walked out the door.

Regulus tried to get to sleep again, he really did, but after a while he found himself turning to books again to occupy his mind. He had read all the books on the shelves in his room and had finished the one he'd come to bed with. So, he slipped his feet into the slippers by the side of his bed and made his way downstairs to the living room which had bookshelves either side of the fireplace.

He noticed that one particular book had been pulled free of the others and lay flat on the front of one of the shelves. Picking it up, the red, leather-bound book was no bigger than his hand. The pages, edged in red, were so thin that they appeared almost translucent and the writing upon them was tiny, an effort to fit so many words into such a small book. Regulus finished flipping quickly through the pages and ran his thumb thoughtfully over the symbol debossed into the cover.

Making his decision, he curled his legs up under him in the large armchair with the deep, comfortable seat and pulled the crochet blanket over to cover them, intrigued by the small book. He was even more intrigued when he opened it to the title page only to find ‘Lily Evans' scrawled in childish handwriting in the top right corner.

It seemed a very strange book for Lily to have had as a child. The passages were numbered strangely and different parts of it seemed to have been written by different people. Some of the themes it dealt with were also bizarre material for a child, but it ultimately appeared to be about the same main characters. Unfortunately, even his confusion at the strange stories couldn't ward off tiredness for long and that was how Lily found him in the morning, still with her small book held loosely in his grasp.

"Regulus," she shook him awake. "Regulus, I need that book today."

"Huh," he rubbed his eyes and yawned before attempting to shake himself awake. "Oh, morning Lils. Sorry, I found it last night when I couldn't sleep."

Lily chuckled softly and Regulus noticed that she was already dressed for the day in a knee-length woollen skirt, white cotton shirt and stockings. Stockings. Now that was a far cry from the Lily he had come to know. She even had a blazer of some sort flung over her forearm.

"Yes, it probably is one of the best books to use as a sleep aid. Now come on, I need it." She held out a hand to him.

"Are you going somewhere?" He asked, thinking that was the only reason for her attire.

"Yes, somewhere I haven't been able to go for a while."

"Out?" Regulus was confused. They were safe here. Why was she going somewhere?

"Yes, out." Lily rolled her eyes at him, so he scowled and handed her the book. "You don't have to worry, Reg. I'm going to transfigure my appearance a bit. You could come too if you wanted and Remus will be there. That's the only reason I'm willing to go this week."

Regulus perked up a bit hearing Remus would be there. "Will Sirius be there too?"

Lily just smiled amusedly. "No, he doesn't hold with what we're going to do. Neither does James. He thinks it's stupid we still go."

"Go where?" Regulus scowled and quirked an eyebrow.

"I guess you could say we're going to discuss the contents of this book," she said, holding it up slightly. "It can be a great relief in burdensome times. A habit left over from my upbringing in the muggle world."

"Okay then," Regulus agreed, thoroughly intrigued. "Let me get dressed. I'll be quick."

"You'll need a muggle suit. I think there's one in the wardrobe in the spare room," she called after him as he ran up the stairs.

Twenty minutes later, Regulus was sat on an uncomfortable wooden bench in a large, single-roomed building full of muggles, wearing a muggle suit charmed to fit him and transfigured slightly to mute his distinctive looks. Lily, too, was sporting brown hair now rather than fiery red and her bright green eyes were a fairly ordinary hazel. Remus, on his other side, couldn't hide his magical scars but he had adjusted the shape of his facial features just to throw them off a bit and was now leaning forward with his elbows on the shelf in front of him that was attached to the back of another bench, hands pressed together in front of him, head bowed.

Lily was pointing out different parts of the building to him even though he couldn't understand a majority of the terms she used, but he could still appreciate the simplistic beauty of a few of the pieces, especially the windows. She had only just finished explaining who the people depicted in one of the windows were when a man in white and black robes came to stand at the front of the room, his arms raised asking for silence.

As soon as everyone began speaking in unison of sins, repentance and forgiveness, Regulus could feel a warmth starting to radiate through his chest. Then there was a sort of song called a hymn that Regulus could only mumble along to but that filled his heart with hope. It was strange really, that this meeting of people felt so different from the meetings of Death Eaters he'd been present at, even though this group also seemed to be praising a single entity. There was no fear here, no oppression. The acts of the entity that the robed man spoke of reminded him a bit of magic and he glanced curiously to Lily who smiled at him and lifted her shoulders in a shrug.

When everyone in the building bowed their heads as Remus had done earlier, Regulus followed suit and listened to the soothing voice wash over him as it spoke of the vulnerable and the downtrodden, of the lonely and the meek. He found himself joining in easily and emotion was starting to prickle the back of his throat, so much so that he couldn't keep the tune of the next hymn properly. Then, Lily pulled him up to the front of the room, towards the robed man with everyone else. He was slightly nervous now because the man had begun talking about body and blood, and Regulus had had enough bad experiences with that, but Lily reassured him it was just bread and wine, symbolising an oath, so he would just kneel for a blessing.

A blessing. Him. Regulus Black received a blessing from a muggle, and that had really put him in danger of the prickle at the back of his throat becoming tears he could barely hold back. What ended up pushing him over the edge though, just a few moments later, were the dozens of muggles, men, women and children, who grasped his hand and wished for peace to be upon him.

He didn't hear any more of the meeting after that. Not even the final hymn as the emotions had risen in him to become a river of tears that would not stop flowing. All he could do was take comfort, once again, in Lily's arms and remember this new, overwhelming feeling of peace and forgiveness that he had found.

#end of year fic countdown #regulus black #my fic #i was super proud of this one #background jily #marauders era #first wizarding war #hp fics #regulus & lily

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ramblings-of-a-foolish-mortal · 4 years ago

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Constellations in your soul - C2

///Preface: this chapter has dissociation and some self deprecation in it. After releasing the first chapter I realized that some warnings might be in order so that people who are sensitive to the topic don’t suffer because of it. I hope you enjoy it and as always, comments and suggestions are welcome. :)///

Sirius sat on a toilet lid in the abandoned bathroom, holding up his arm up in an uncomfortable position while holding his shirt in his lap. Remus had spent a solid 10 minutes inspecting him to see what injuries there were before he’d even started to put Sirius back together. Remus held a grimace on his face and briefly brought his sleeved hand to his nose, like trying to wipe away a scent or a smell.

“Jeez, blood has a strong smell…” his grimace faded as he rolled up his sleeves, kneeling back to get a better look at what he was doing.

“So, remind me why we never use magic to do this?” Sirius leaned back a bit before Remus gently reminded him he needed to sit up straight for this. Haha, straight.

“Because healing spells are complicated, and while I may be smart I’m not about to rearrange your ribcage for something I could easily do with my hands.” Remus frowned as he spoke, mumbling things under his breath as he took note of them. His face scrunched up a little bit when he was concentrating, and his eyes remained focused on his target. His intense glare was one you didn’t usually want to be on the receiving end of, and it was pointed right at Sirius’ chest. Right now, he appeared to be trying to glare Sirius’ injuries out of existence. “What happened to make her this mad? I thought she doesn’t usually beat you like this unless she thought you did something?” Remus’ voice cracked when he said ‘beat’ like it caused him pain just to think about it.

Aww, you really think he cares about you Sirius. He just feels obligated to help you, you’re a burden in his life and thorn in his side.

I know…

“Uh- It wasn’t really anything bad,” Sirius shifted to prop his arm up on the water tank of the toilet, “She got upset at Regulus because he burnt the bacon, but I distracted him. At least, that’s what I told her, so she got mad at me. It’s not really that-!” Sirius growled quietly when Remus pressed on his side, pain flaring up his side and in his lungs. Shit that hurt…

“Sorry,” Remus muttered as he stood, walking over to an empty stall at the end of the row and coming back with a briefcase full of muggle first aid supplies. They’d hid it in here last year when Sirius had first explained what his family was like. Remus was very astute and had noticed Sirius consistently sleeping on his stomach and changing in the bathroom rather than the dorm, like the other boys (among other things like pained expressions and groaning in his sleep, which Sirius had no memory of doing.) Remus pulled out bruise cream and started spreading it across Sirius’ back and chest.

Sirius felt his face flush, looking up at the ceiling. “Take me on a date first, Remus.” A small, possibly awkward laugh left him, immediately replaced with a grimace as his ribs shifted slightly. Great… now he thinks I’m weird. I mean, he probably already did. I’m so fucking awkward why am I like this?

It’s because you’re worthless. Awkward? Closer to repulsive. He’s seen you beaten and bruised and broken so many times. Do you honestly think he still sees you the same way as before? Sirius’ grimace faded as he stared at the ceiling.

He cares, I know he cares. If he didn’t, he would’ve run away a long time ago.

PLEASE. You, James, and Peter are the only people who would accept him for being a werewolf. He’s got it SO much worse than you, and yet you make him take care of you. Bend to your whim.

Just shut up…

“Sirius, are you alright? “ Remus looked up at him from his crouching position at his side. Sirius looked down at him, leaning forward slightly.

“Yeah?” Remus held his eyes for a moment, studying Sirius for a moment, then offered him back his shirt.

“I finished. Your shirt might stick a little bit, but once your skin absorbs it you should be good. We’ll want to change the bandages on the cuts in a couple days.” Remus smiled slightly, offering Sirius a hand. Sirius took it, pulling himself up.

“Wait, there were cuts?” Sirius frowned slightly. “I didn’t think… I didn’t think I felt any cuts… “ Remus gently touched Sirius’ back, right between his shoulder blades.

“Yeah, there were some right here, and a couple on your upper shoulder. Make sure not to move your arms too much. At least as best as you can.”

“Yes, Nurse.” Sirius sent a smirk at Remus before trying to pull his shirt on, face immediately contorting into a pained expression when his arms went over his head. Remus laughed quietly.

“Aww, do you need help getting your shirt on?” Sirius glared at him, pulling his shirt down, huffing quietly. “I’ve been reading a First Aid book published by a muggle health organization. It’s incredibly informative. I really enjoyed reading it too.” Remus let himself smile while closing, clipping, and rehiding the bag of First Aid supplies.

“You’re such a nerd, Remus. I mean, why would you read when you can climb trees or flirt.” Sirius waited until Remus was next to him to start walking back to the dorms with him.

“Because I find books much more enjoyable than people. They’re quiet, usually, and don’t require me to move very much. Pair that with the inevitable social interaction required when surrounded by other people, I tend to avoid people when I can.” Remus glanced over at Sirius as he spoke. Sirius had to tilt his head up slightly to look at Remus’ face, noticing how his hair reflected the torchlight. Well hot damn, I’m just too gay for this shit.

Sirius laughed at himself quietly, and they walked the rest of the way to the dorm in comfortable silence. Once Sirius climbed into bed, he carefully laid on his back and stared at the ceiling, thoughts racing through his mind as everything from How can I frustrate Professor McGonigal tomorrow to Should I leave James and Remus and Peter so they can finally have some peace?

His thoughts continued to wander as he fell asleep, pulling the blankets up another inch or two before drifting off.

While Sirius lay sleeping, Remus lay awake in his bed, trying to distract himself from the repetitive image of Sirius’ bruised and welted chest. Under different circumstances, Remus would’ve been incredibly embarrassed and flustered touching Sirius like that, but the bruises, cuts, welts, and scars had him in a significantly darker mood. Why would they hurt Sirius like that… actually, nevermind, they’re bastards with no souls. The better question is: Why does Sirius put himself in harm's way like that. He knows he’ll get it worse than Regulus, but yet he still chooses to take the blame for things, even small things. This is the worst I’ve seen him injured since second year…

Remus frowned at the memory of Sirius laying in his bed, asleep and severely injured. That day he’d traveled via firepit to Remus’ house after having almost been beaten to death by his own mother.

He could remember clearly the moment when he ran downstairs to see what had caused such a loud thump in his living room and panicked at the sight of Sirius covered in blood and bruises. It had taken quite a bit of both muggle remedies and magic to heal Sirius. They were lucky Remus’ mother knew First Aid and his father had become acquainted with healing spells through his work. He’d sat by Sirius for days, making sure he was okay, keeping him safe, getting him water and food and anything else he needed. Remus had been glaring at the wall with such fervor he’d given himself a headache. He groaned quietly, turning to his other side. He could hear Sirius breathing and chose to focus on that. The steadiness of his breath was calming, though Remus heard him occasionally heard Sirius’ breath hitch in his chest when he inhaled too deeply, heaven forbid he have a good night’s rest. I will have to invest more time in First Aid. It’s quite useful…

Remus closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep, after a long time of his mind disobeying him, he started to ease into foggy rest.

A few weeks had passed since the first day of the term without much transpiring in the way of excitement. James was still preparing for his first big stunt of the year, and Sirius had been busy helping him. They hadn’t gone to bed until late the previous night due to planning what had to be their biggest, awesomest project yet, a map that would be able to track the students and teacher. One only they would be able to use.

Because of the late-night, and subsequent awful sleep, Sirius woke up at the unholy hour of 05:00 AM. He didn’t normally rise this early, but after waking up in a cold sweat from a nightmare he wasn’t too eager to go back to sleep either. Slowly, he sat up and blinked slowly. His mind and body felt like they were dry and stiff, not wanting to move exactly when he needed them to, and he felt phantom pains from the dream stacked on his physical injuries. While fighting his lethargy, he got out of bed while grimacing as his rib cage shifted, then rummaged through his suitcase, yet to be unpacked, and then padded towards the bathrooms. His hair was likely a mess, but that would be fixed with a shower. And if it was still knotted, well, Remus was the only person he really let mess with his hair. James pulled too hard and hurt him, and Peter was so clumsy that the one time Sirius had let him touch his hair, it’d ended up so mangled it took Remus 3 hours to untangle. Sirius opened the doors to the bathroom, beginning to wash himself off. The water slowly woke him up enough to function, though there was still this lingering fog similar to silt covering his mind. A thought hit him in the middle of washing his hair, Today is gonna be shit… He frowned, frustratedly glaring at the wall. No, today is going to be FINE. I’m going to go to class like every morning. I’ll joke around with James, flirt with some people, and it will be good.

He stayed in the shower for another several minutes, simply because he felt like he didn’t have the energy to leave. When he finally gathered himself, he wasted more time while drying off. By the time he’d finally made it back to the boy's dorm room to put his dirty nightclothes in a basket by his bed, the other boys were up. One look at Remus told Sirius he hadn’t slept well either. They exchanged a mutual look of ‘You too, huh?’, before Remus broke eye contact to pull his sweater over his shirt. Remus had a tendency to only be semi-functional in the morning and preferred not to speak until after breakfast.

Sirius walked over to his nightstand to grab his brush, reaching out and halting when his hand closed around nothing. It’s not here… He glanced around the room and saw Remus holding it up in one hand while smiling slightly. Ah, there it is. Sirius sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Remus while James threw himself on Remus’ bed. Remus brushed out Sirius’ hair, occasionally using his fingers to untangle knots the brush wouldn’t pull through easily.

“You guys look absolutely awful. I keep forgetting you’re grouchy in the mornings.” James turned to lay on his back, watching Remus’ expression pass through 3 or 4 emotions before settling on mild dissatisfaction. Most people probably wouldn’t have noticed but, well, James had been his friend for 4 years and picked up on some things. Sirius knocked on the top of James’ head, grabbing his attention.

“Well, you see, James, when two people-” Sirius had a grin on his face before Remus cut him off.

“Late night, little sleep, you’re a baby,” Remus spoke in a quiet mumble, probably still half asleep.

“Yeah, you’re one to talk James. If you don’t get your beauty sleep you’re grumpy all day! At least Remus turns functional after 3 gallons of coffee.” Sirius grinned as he spoke, though it was partially to cover up concern. He knew Remus hadn’t gotten to sleep until the small hours of the morning. I wish I could add more hours to the night, or knock him out. He might actually get some decent sleep if we drugged him… Remus poked the hairbrush over Sirius’ shoulder, catching Sirius’ eye and pulling him out of his train of thought.

“Here.” It came out barely audible as Sirius moved out of the way so that Remus could pull on his shoes. “Breakfast… Coffee… Tired… “ Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and started to trudge down the stairs. Sirius watched him leave, eyes trailing from his back to his muted and messy blond hair. He’s frickin’ adorable when he’s tired… Sirius smiled slightly, then glanced to his side where James had been only a few moments before, though now there was only an empty spot on the bed. Did he already go down to breakfast? Or did he go to flirt with Evans? Sirius stood up, walking into the common room just in time to see Lily telling off James for being a bother this early in the morning.

Sirius felt himself smile when he saw James trying to look sincere while staring at Lily with doe eyes. For some reason, James seemed to think it was hot when she was angry, though Sirius didn’t really understand it. He turned, continuing towards the Great Hall for breakfast, climbing out of the porthole and meandering down the hallway towards their normal spot for breakfast. Remus had all but claimed the spot as solely theirs. Even though he was so tired and usually the last one awake, he was also the first person to breakfast every day. Well, almost every day. Sirius glanced at the portraits on the wall, letting his thoughts drift. He knew Peter probably wouldn’t be there until the last 10 minutes, considering he wouldn’t be waking up for another 30 minutes at least. Sirius felt the smile melt from his face while looking at the portraits on the wall, a kind of quiet resignation worming its way into his brain. These wizards have all done great things. Only half of them have gone to Hogwarts but all of them have made some kind of great achievement… I’ll never make it on this wall… or into someone else’s wall, I won’t be on my own wall in my room by the time I’m old enough to move away… His body stiffened for a moment. I won’t be on my own wall… Since when did he want to be on his own bloody family tree? Since when did he want to be part of his own piece-of-shit family in his whole life? He turned, walking the rest of the way to the Great Hall. Of course, you want to be on your own wall, with the rest of your family. You’re just like them. Manipulative, hurtful, abusive. You’re so full of yourself you’re constantly playing the victim because nothing is ever your fault. How many other kids in this hall do you think have parents like yours? Probably all of them. They don’t have the kind of money your family does, they don’t have your kind of house, your parents' jobs, your siblings, the noble life. You’ve got it so much better than them and yet you think you have it bad? What kind of pathetic kid are you?

Sirius’ nails bit into his palms as he shoved his hands into his pockets. He knew the voice was right, but what could he do about it now? He’d already told Remus 2 years ago. His skin crawled at his own deceptions. I made Remus worry about me. I whined to him about my problems even though he has worse problems than any of us. Especially me. His thoughts turned and tumbled through his mind until they seemed to fade out. Like turning translucent. He watched the doors to the Great Hall pass overhead while his head grew lighter and his emotions turned into a little ball of chalk in his chest, compressed and hard and out of the way. He sat down at the table, sending a smile to Remus out of habit. Remus will worry… He didn’t talk most of breakfast, though he wasn’t incoherent. He frowned slightly when breakfast was over. I thought… I just sat down to eat. My food is gone… I guess I ate… Sirius stood up, watching his plate disappear before walking to his first class of the day, his satchel slung over his shoulder. I hope I can pay attention…

Almost an hour later he was finally able to start paying attention to his class, jotting down messy notes while flipping to a page in his Potions book. Sometimes he'd get spacey like he had earlier today, which was a pain because he had trouble focusing when he did that, and then he'd have to catch up on notes… which inevitably meant extra work. A mental groan pushed into his thoughts, along with yet another round of awful thoughts. Why won’t you just shut up for a while, huh? It’s not like I’m a COMPLETE failure. I have decent grades, at least. It’s hard to focus with all the noise in my head. He quietly growled at his papers, frustrated at his own lack of attention. Maybe I’ll just live under a bridge and join a troll. Or I’ll live as a stray dog. At least then I won’t take up unnecessary space. At least- His thoughts were interrupted by Remus touching his arm. Little bits of electricity raced around where Remus touched the fabric of Sirius’ shirt as he shifted his gaze from the parchment to Remus’ perfect face.

“Are you okay?” Remus spoke quietly, mostly mouthing the words. His touch on Sirius’ arm lightened like he was about to pull away. Sirius nodded, then shot him a winning grin.

“Ooh, Remus. It’s so nice to know you worry about me, but I’m fine.” Sirius purposefully made it sound flirty, letting his eyes close a little while pushing a small smirk. Remus arched an eyebrow at Sirius in what seemed to be suspicion or maybe just irritation. Sirius watched Remus for only a moment but felt his smirk turn into a smile, turning back to his work. “Really, I’m okay. Thank you for asking, though.” As he turned back to his work, his mind felt clearer, though he felt strangely cold once Remus retracted his hand, returning to his work. As Sirius continued taking notes and working, he felt more at peace with Remus there. He knew that Remus cared, and he knew Remus would be there if he ever needed him.

The thoughts didn’t entirely go away for the day but it got easier to ignore them, or at least make them quieter. Most of the day passed tediously slow, except the few times he got spacey again, as opposed to the first class that had passed almost in the blink of an eye. Sirius couldn’t even remember concretely if he’d actually gone to those classes, though he was sure he had because he had a nonsense compilation of notes from all the classes combined into an incomprehensible document. It wasn’t until after dinner that he realized how tired he was. He’d spent all day either on the run between classes that were on opposite ends of the castle or trying to be coherent in class while spacing out. As he started walking back to Gryffindor Tower, James smacked the back of his head as he ran past Sirius. Snapped out of his stupor, Sirius glared at him while smiling.

“You DIDN’T.” Sirius felt his smile grow wider before Remus stepped up next to him and took his bag. After a brief smile of thanks to Remus, Sirius took off after James, chasing him down the hall and dodging around people.

“Get him back for me, Sirius!” Peter called out to Sirius, cupping his hands so Sirius would hear him. Remus smiled slightly, glancing over at Peter for a moment.

“They are pretty ridiculous.” Remus shifted Sirius’ bag higher on his shoulder as he spoke. Peter let Remus have the moment before hesitantly opening his mouth to speak.

“Hey, Remus?” Peter glanced up, raising his head quite a bit to see Remus’ face, which was almost an entire head taller. “How far away until the next visit to the shack?” Remus’ face lost the smile. Their group had started referring to full-moons as ‘visits to the shack’ in an effort to normalize their conversations about it without letting everyone in a general vicinity know about Remus’ condition. Remus let out a quiet sigh, seeming to sag slightly.

“It’s two weeks away. Supposed to be on Wednesday. Though I don’t know if that’s 100% accurate.” Remus glanced out the window momentarily to look out the window onto the Hogwarts grounds. He saw the Whomping Willow in the corner of the visible grounds through the window. Remus could only stand to look at it for a moment before returning his gaze to the floor inside the castle. Peter nodded beside him, then turned down the hall towards the Gryffindor Tower.

“I have some chocolate from the house-elves. If you want some? I’d be happy to share, it’s honestly too much for me.” Remus smiled as Peter spoke. He was very sweet, and could usually see when someone needed something and acted on it frequently. That in its own right was very brave. Remus knew more people than he chose to count that rarely acted when they saw someone in any kind of pain.

“That would be wonderful, Peter. Thank you.”

By the time Remus and Peter made it up to the tower, James was sitting on the common room couch talking to some younger students about the quickest routes between different classes, and Sirius was nowhere to be found in the common room. He’s likely laying in bed, he seemed very tired earlier today… though he also seemed upset. I wonder what’s bothering him? Peter pulled a bar of chocolate out of his bag, handing it to Remus, smiling.

“Let me know if you want any more, I think I’ve got two more bars.” Peter sat down on the couch a moment later.

“Thank you, Peter. I think I’ll go to bed, though. Today has been rather tiring.” Remus gave a short wave to Peter and James, returning Peter’s smile. He unwrapped part of the chocolate bar and began to eat it as he walked up the stairs to the boy’s dormitory, trying to think of what could be bothering Sirius. Maybe someone said something about his parents? Or someone may have said something unkind about Peter or me? In all honesty, it could have been anything, I shouldn’t be worrying too much. Remus’ thoughts stopped when he saw Sirius draped over his bed. He hadn’t even bothered to get under the covers, hair a mess all over his pillow, sprawled on the bed with one hand under the pillow. God, he’s gorgeous… Remus broke from his stupor, holding the chocolate bar in his mouth, then set his bags by his bed before walking over to Sirius, pulling back his covers and spreading them over the sleeping boy. Remus sat down on the edge of his own bed and watched Sirius for a moment, wondering what had exhausted him so thoroughly. It only took him a few bites to finish the chocolate bar. He pulled out a book as he took the last bite and felt a little disappointed that it had disappeared so quickly.

He shifted back on his bed until his back was propped up against the wall, opening the book he’d been reading to the bookmark. It was a muggle book he’d borrowed from his mother, and he enjoyed the story very much. It was about a simple, calm hobbit that got pulled into an adventure he wasn’t entirely ready for, Remus related to the character a little with all of the insanity James and Sirius pulled him into. The character was relatively soft-spoken, though not to be spoken over, and very protective. Remus smiled as he curled up, enjoying a quiet evening of reading The Hobbit and listening to the sound of rain.

///Thank you for reading. I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to get these done, But i will try my best to post every other week, they may come more often, long chapters might take a little longer. :) Have a wonderful week and take care.///

#Constellations-in-your-soul #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar #marauders #harry potter #angsty #it will have fluff eventually I promise just not right now #slowburn

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remywrites5 · 5 years ago

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hiiii i really love your blog and i may or may not have spent the weekend binge reading your posts.... 😂 anyway i’ve had a kinda shitty day and i was wondering if you could maybe write something with james x regulus? if not that’s totally fine haha thank you!!!!!!

Hi nonny! I’m pretty sure this ask is like years old and I’m really sorry it took me so long! You probably don’t even follow me anymore but if you do I hope your days have gotten better! But either way here’s a little something for you:

***

“Oi, Jamie,” Sirius said, poking his head into James’ room. “Just a reminder that my brother is coming to visit for the weekend.”

James groaned. “Sirius, no!” he complained, shutting his chemistry book. “You’ll disappear with Remus for the entire weekend and I’ll be stuck babysitting your brother, who I’ve never even met!”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “First of all, Reg is only a year younger than us, you won’t be babysitting anyone. Second of all, we’re all going to a party at Mckinnon’s tonight so you won’t be stuck alone with him the whole time.”

“Just part of the time?”

Sirius shrugged. “I mean I’ll do my best…”

“God, you’re the worst fucking friend,” James grumbled, opening his chemistry book back up and attempting to cram for his test later that day.

“Oh and Jamie?”

“Yes?

“Don’t be a prick, alright?

Sirius ducked out of the way as a chemistry book went flying towards his head.

***

“Honey, we’re home,” Sirius sing-songed as he arrived back from picking Regulus up from the train station. James sighed and got out of bed, figuring he might as well try to be nice to the intruder. It wasn’t that James was opposed to people visiting for the weekend, it was just that Sirius and Remus were attached at the hip, and James hadn’t been making any progress with Evans. He knew it was selfish, but he hated other people being happy when he was fairly miserable. The last thing he wanted to do this weekend was hang around some snotty-nosed younger sibling.

He stepped out into the hallway and saw the Black brothers together for the first time. It wasn’t hard to tell they were related, same inky black hair, same impossibly high cheekbones, matching grey eyes. But where Sirius was all rough edges and rock and roll, Regulus was all smooth and posh. Unlike Sirius, who kept his hair long and shoulder length and a decent amount of stubble on his face, Regulus had his hair styled, cut short on the side and long on top to fall into his eyes in a very chic way. He was also clean-shaven and James could only imagine he had all kinds of fancy potions and after-creams to give him that effect.

“Hello,” Regulus said, holding his hand out to James, already being ever so polite. “You must be James. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” James said, making the handshake a little rougher than was strictly necessary.

Sirius grinned broadly and threw his arms around each of their shoulders, drawing them close to him. “My two brothers, together at last!”

“Gerroff,” James growled, shoving Sirius away and into Regulus.

Sirius shrugged and hugged Regulus more thoroughly. “I’m so happy you’re here!”

Regulus blushed, his eyes meeting James and then darting away quickly. “Yes, you kept saying on the ride over here.”

James snorted. “I’ll put some tea on.”

***

The party was already in full swing by the time they’d gotten there. Marlene lived in a flat off campus with a few other girls and even though it was bigger than the dormitories, it still couldn’t really fit the amount of people currently occupying it. Just moving around the party was like swimming through jelly. James had spilled at least a cup and a half of beer on himself just from trying to navigate the party.

As predicted, Sirius ditched them the moment they got to the party and he found the familiar head of his favorite tawny-haired nerd. James hadn’t exactly been keeping the closest eye on Regulus since then but he was slightly alarmed when he realized Reg wasn’t close by. “Fucking great,” James mumbled to himself, trying to finish his drink just as someone knocked his elbow and the entire contents of his red solo cup splashed over his face. “Fuck this.”

James edged his way towards the door and somehow managed to get it open. Getting outside was a relief, being able to smell something other than booze and sweat. He shoved his glass up to the top of his head and lifted his shirt up to wipe his face clean. When he replaced his glasses, he noticed a figure in his periphery. He turned his head to find Regulus leaning against the building smoking a cigarette. He looked a bit like an ad from a magazine, the way his leg was bent so his foot could rest against the wall behind him, his face tilted back to reveal the pale expanse of his neck. James swallowed thickly. He was absolutely not going to fancy his best mate’s little brother. Regulus was Off Limits.

James walked down the front steps of the building and stood in front of Regulus. “Does Sirius know you smoke?” he asked, raising a judgmental eyebrow at the younger man.

“Is it his business?” Regulus countered, taking a long drag from his ciggy and blowing it intentionally in James’ face in a very obvious fuck off.

James waved his hand in front of his face to clear the smoke and exhaled loudly in disapproval. Christ, he sounded so much like his dad. “You’re nothing like what I imagined.”

“Yeah?” Reg said, flicking ash onto the ground below. “What were you imagining? A toddler?”

James shrugged. “You hear the words little brother and you’re not exactly what people picture, alright?”

“Sirius never showed you a picture of me?” Regulus asked, sounding a little hurt by the prospect.

“He has,” James said quickly, not wanting to give Reg the wrong idea. Sirius actually talked about him a lot, constantly worrying about Reg being stuck at home with their awful parents while Sirius was at University. At least next year Reg would be joining them and Sirius could stop being so concerned all the bloody time. “I just think most of the pictures he’s shown me were from when you were a lot younger. Still had your spots.”

Regulus smiled and took another drag. “He’s shown me pictures of you too,” he said, his smile becoming a little more sinister. “The one when you fell asleep drunk and he glued the deer horns to your head.”

James groaned in humiliation. “The next time I see Sirius he’s a dead man!”

Regulus laughed and dropped his cigarette, sliding his designer shoes over it to put it out. “What are friends for, right?”

“Yeah,” James said, trying not to sound sad as he said it. He was happy for Sirius and Remus, he really was. The first few months of Uni had been torture, watching Sirius and Remus dance around each other, both clearly interested but not saying it. It had been a relief to see them finally get over their shit and get together. But that didn’t mean James didn’t miss the old days of the three of them being friends, not that they weren’t still friends, but things had changed.

***

Sirius, of course, went over to Remus’ after the party, leaving James to get Regulus set up on their beat up old sofa. He pulled out the only spare blankets they had, just a thin sheet, and did his best to make it look comfortable. He showed Regulus how to work the telly, in case he wasn’t ready for bed, and then disappeared into his own room.

His curiosity got the best of him and he found Regulus’ instagram fairly easily. He thanked his lucky stars that it wasn’t a private account because having Reg know that he was looking was a bit too embarrassing. He began scrolling through the pictures and felt his mouth go dry. Reg knew how to take an amazing photo. James stared in disbelief that the same guy that was currently on his shitty sofa, watching what sounded to be That 70’s Show, could be the same person in these photos.

His eyes were glued to the screen as he swiped through picture after picture, his body heating up in response. Not good, he thought, trying and failing to remind himself that this was Sirius’ younger brother. Kill me now.

He was just about to slid his hand under the covers and do something about the ache between his legs when the door to his room opened. James dropped his phone in surprise and sat up, hoping he wasn’t tenting the blankets in an obvious way.

Regulus made his way over and slipped into James’ bed without asking. James stared at him, his throat working to try and swallow, and he watched in horror and Reg made himself comfortable.

“What are you doing?” James asked, his mind racing, trying to think of anything to make his erection go away.

Regulus shrugged. “It’s freezing and your sofa is a piece of shit.”

“Then go sleep in Sirius’ bed,” James said, dragging his hand over his face. This could not be happening to him.

“It would still be freezing,” Regulus rationalized, sinking further into the blankets. “This way we can share body heat.”

James stared at him incredulously.

Regulus sighed. “Don’t be such a baby, James. Just think of it as survival mode, right?”

James nodded and got back under the covers, taking care that no part of him was touching Regulus. “Good night,” he said awkwardly, his eyes wide open. He didn’t think he’d be getting much sleep.

“Good night.”

***

James woke up feeling good. He was warm and comfortable, and except for the arm he was sleeping on that had gone numb, he felt wholly relaxed. It took a moment for his brain to clear the fog and realize that he was spooning Reg. His nose was pressed against the nape of Reg’s neck and they were slotted together from that point of contact down to their feet. James’ crotch was pressed against Reg’ bum and Christ there was no way he couldn’t feel how hard James was.

Regulus began to stir, his body shifting and James’ hand flew up and grabbed him by the hips to still him. Reg turned his head and smiled wickedly. “Problem, Potter?” he teased, moving his hips just to be a little shit.

James ripped himself away and tore the covers off, heading into the bathroom. He turned the water to as cold as he could stand it and stood under the spray. Not good, he thought having a crisis right there in the shower. Sure, he’d been attracted to blokes before. This wasn’t a sexual identity crisis because James was bi and proud and would kick the shit out of anyone that had a problem with that.

The issue was that this was Sirius’ brother and James was fairly certain Sirius would never forgive him. And more importantly Regulus was only there for the weekend. There was no point to be getting all hot and bothered about it. Except that next year Reg would be at this school with them. Shit, James was so utterly and completely fucked.

Once he’d calmed down, he stepped out of the shower and slung a towel around his waist. He ventured out into the hallway and found Regulus waiting for him. “Have a good cold shower, did we?” he asked, his eyes shinning knowingly.

“Fuck off, Reg,” James growled, pushing past him towards his room.

“You liked one of my pictures,” Reg said to James’ retreating back.

“What?” James asked, spinning around, droplets falling from his skin onto the floor.

Regulus took a step towards him but didn’t close the distance between them any further. “Last night, you liked one of my pictures on Instagram. That’s why I came into your room. I thought maybe you had done it on purpose, but I guess it was just an accident, huh?” Regulus laughed awkwardly and scratched at his eyebrow idly.

James processed what Reg had just said, trying to get past his mortification at having done something so stupid, and went right to Reg coming into his room after knowing James was stalking him online. “So last night…” James started, trying to think of the night words. “Just what were you hoping for?”

“I don’t know,” Reg responded, staring at the floor. “Something like this morning except without the part of you running away like a frightened deer?”

James stepped closer, bridging the gap between them a bit. “Why?” he asked, reaching out and tugging Regulus closer by his sleep shirt. Reg stumbled a bit but went willingly. “You don’t even know me.”

Regulus blushed prettily and ducked his head down. “I feel like I do,” he murmured softly. “On his visits home Sirius would talk about you constantly. You were almost like – fuck – like a fairytale character to me. I kept pressuring Sirius for a visit because I wanted to meet you. God, you must think I’m a stupid little kid with a crush. Please, don’t say anything to Sirius about all this. He’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

“Then how will I tell him we’re dating?” James asked, smiling mischievously.

Regulus shook his head. “Please don’t take the piss right now,” he begged softly. “I don’t think my ego can handle it after this morning.”

James cupped Regulus’ chin and forced the younger man to meet his gaze. James smiled kindly and traced Reg’s full lips with his thumb. “I wasn’t taking the piss. Although I should probably warn you that I am a bit of a cock-up. I don’t think dating me will be the fairytale you imagined.”

Regulus bit James’ thumb playfully. “I don’t care,” he said, smiling at James. “Even the beast had some good qualities.”

“I notice you’ve cast yourself as beauty in the scenario.”

“You don’t think I’m pretty?” Regulus said, batting his eyelashes.

James chuckled. “I think you’re gorgeous,” he said honestly, “And also trouble.”

Regulus grinned. “You don’t mind a bit of trouble, do you, James?” he challenged, raising an eyebrow.

“Not at all.”

#jegulus #i write things #background wolfstar #university au #I've been writing a lot of those lately #long post #fluff #I actually wrote something where they don't kiss #it feels wrong

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mxstyassasxin · 5 years ago

Text

Baptize Me - Day 4 of 24

I’ve had a go at writing sweet, baby Regulus in a bit of canon divergence where he survives the cave and is then protected by James and Lily at Godrics Hollow with Lily helping him to find peace and forgiveness.

Inspired by Baptize Me (X Ambassadors) and also available on AO3 and FFN.