#I just know as soon as she left the KG she cut it all out on a whim

[lonisaiou]

guys hear me out Post-Game Middle Aged Saimaki, whos w me???????

[janiedean]

hey, can you talk about this: why is it that even after jaime saves brienne from rape & jumps into a bearpit for her, brienne still expects the worst from him and thinks he wants her to kill sansa? can b ever fully trust and love jaime? will brienne ever accept that jaime loves her and is capable of good or will she always expect evil from him/ be insecure + expect him to pull a ronnet? i think this will cause problems for them if they ever get together. do you think it would be a deal-breaker?

tldr: no because the moment you read her affc povs you see she’s way past her initial distrust and actually that scene is... the turning point? like you don’t know that because you don’t have her pov, but anyway I think I’ll just break it down and be done with it since I had wanted to for a while - regardless, premise: you can see exactly how far she goes with trusting him/changing her mind about him by seeing her dialogue choices in asos before, as in, she calls him ser for the first time after he saves her from being raped and when they’re in the bath she snaps at him the moment he goads her about renly and she’s naked in front of a man and she feels most likely guilty for the loss of his hand, and the moment he faints she catches him and she volunteers to dress him/clean him up after, like... you don’t do that if you don’t want to and if you don’t care about the person some regardless. ANYWAY SO let me just find the whole scene.

SOOOO, counting that he’s doing this just after he basically broke up with cersei...

The wench looked as ugly and awkward as ever, he decided when Tyrell left them. Someone had dressed her in woman’s clothes again, but this dress fit much better than that hideous pink rag the goat had made her wear. “Blue is a good color on you, my lady,” Jaime observed. “It goes well with your eyes.” She does have astonishing eyes.

Brienne glanced down at herself, flustered. “Septa Donyse padded out the bodice, to give it that shape. She said you sent her to me.” She lingered by the door, as if she meant to flee at any second. “You look . . .”

“Different?” He managed a half-smile. “More meat on the ribs and fewer lice in my hair, that’s all. The stump’s the same. Close the door and come here.” She did as he bid her. “The white cloak . . .”

“. . . is new, but I’m sure I’ll soil it soon enough.”

“That wasn’t . . . I was about to say that it becomes you.”

right, so, when this entire scene starts you have the worst flirting that ever existed but like basically that’s pretty much what it is - they haven’t seen each other in a while right, and first he goes like UH UGLY AND AWKWARD, then in the span of three lines he decides that the dress looks nice on her and it fits her, and when he opens his mouth he calls her my lady and compliments her on her appearance and her eyes and then thinks SHE HAS ASTONISHING EYES which like... jaime you were thinking she was ugly three lines ago where is the truth, the truth is that he’s hella attracted to her, he’s not admitting it to himself but he can’t help saying it and so hey hello brienne, you just showed up in my room where I summoned you after having you freed and I’m telling you you’re hot!! when you never heard it before from a guy ever!!!

brienne at that point is FLUSTERED and feels like pointing out the bodice is padded as if he hasn’t seen her naked, and she’s obviously afraid af because she’s standing near the door, and then she goes like ‘you look...’ while most likely STARING at him like OH MY GOD HAVEN’T SEEN HIM IN WEEKS LOOK AT HIM jesus, and then he starts going off with the self-deprecating humor telling her to get over here, she does, she starts again with the white cloak, he goes all defensive self-deprecating again (I’ll soil it soon enough, presuming that she still thinks that of him)... and then she goes like I was about to say it becomes you, which means I’m telling you A WHITE CLOAK FITS YOU AND IS BECOMING ON YOU, which given the significancy of the white cloak/kg/the fact that he confessed her he believed in his vow/knighthood when he was fifteen in the bath... she’s telling him being honorable becomes him, which sorry but does not to me qualify as ‘expecting the worse of him’. now:

She came closer, hesitant. “Jaime, did you mean what you told Ser Loras? About . . . about King Renly, and the shadow?”

Jaime shrugged. “I would have killed Renly myself if we’d met in battle, what do I care who cut his throat?”

“You said I had honor . . .”

“I’m the bloody Kingslayer, remember? When I say you have honor, that’s like a whore vouchsafing your maidenhood.” He leaned back and looked up at her. 

problem is: he is on the self-deprecative spiral wanting to distance himself, which I have a feeling is because he’s a) upset because of cersei from before b) not exactly processing his feelings re being into her, so everything she is saying he’s shutting her down, which makes her hesitant - first he shrugs away having gotten her out of prison and talking for her to loras when if you read that part you know he cares about getting her out, she’s all like oh YOU SAID I HAD HONOR!!! **, and he immediately shuts that down too with the it’s worth nothing if I do, so basically she’s there all ‘!!! ** !!!’ and he’s back to shutting her out, which... considering how brienne is would make her lose a lot of courage here, right? right. also: SHE CALLED HIM JAIME in the beginning, which means... she feels like they’re on a familiar enough level that she can use his name without the ser before and she’s not calling him kingslayer. like. she’s absolutely expecting the best here.

“Steelshanks is on his way back north, to deliver Arya Stark to Roose Bolton.”

“You gave her to him?” she cried, dismayed. “You swore an oath to Lady Catelyn . . .”

“With a sword at my throat, but never mind. Lady Catelyn’s dead. I could not give her back her daughters even if I had them. And the girl my father sent with Steelshanks was not Arya Stark.”

“Not Arya Stark?”

“You heard me. My lord father found some skinny northern girl more or less the same age with more or less the same coloring. He dressed her up in white and grey, gave her a silver wolf to pin her cloak, and sent her off to wed Bolton’s bastard.” He lifted his stump to point at her. “I wanted to tell you that before you went galloping off to rescue her and got yourself killed for no good purpose. You’re not half bad with a sword, but you’re not good enough to take on two hundred men by yourself.”

now, for the chapter where grrm knows that words mean things: the definition of dismayed is : experiencing or showing feelings of alarmed concern or dismay : upset, worried, or agitated because of some unwelcome situation or occurrence, which means that the moment jaime goes like ‘oh and I gave arya to roose bolton’ she is UPSET at hearing that... because she didn’t expect that? she changed her mind, she thinks he’s honorable, he saved her from being raped, he’s complimenting her, she’s trying to compliment him, she thinks they have an understanding, he told her all of that...... and now he’s telling her he gave arya back to the boltons? when she thought he cared about their oath and he freed her? like what the fuck jaime? obviouly she’s upset, but because she already expected better and he’s a disaster emotionally stunted person who just moved on from 17yo of emotional maturity and he can’t have that conversation without going in self-defense. he points out he can’t do that but anyway then tells her it’s not arya.. because he didn’t want brienne to go after her ie he cared about her well-being and now he throws in a compliment too (you’re not half bad with a sword) and she’s most likely like wtf, also he gestures at her with the stump which cersei refused to interact with before and brienne doesn’t even flinch at that, but never mind let’s go on.

Brienne shook her head. “When Lord Bolton learns that your father paid him with false coin . . .”

“Oh, he knows. Lannisters lie, remember? It makes no matter, this girl serves his purpose just as well. Who is going to say that she isn’t Arya Stark? Everyone the girl was close to is dead except for her sister, who has disappeared.”

“Why would you tell me all this, if it’s true? You are betraying your father’s secrets.”

The Hand’s secrets, he thought. I no longer have a father. “I pay my debts like every good little lion. I did promise Lady Stark her daughters . . . and one of them is still alive. My brother may know where she is, but if so he isn’t saying. Cersei is convinced that Sansa helped him murder Joffrey.”

“The wench’s mouth got stubborn. “I will not believe that gentle girl a poisoner. Lady Catelyn said that she had a loving heart. It was your brother. There was a trial, Ser Loras said.”

as stated: she shakes her head, which is a thing you do... when you’ve just been given conflicting information, which he just did because he just told her HEY MY FATHER JUST BASICALLY LIED TO HIS ALLY, but poor girl is not a political shrewd mind because a moment later he explains her that they both knew and so on, and at that point brienne is understandably like WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS IT’S TREASON, which it technically is.... and then he remembers tywin disowned him and they argued so ‘I no longer have a father’, but he doesn’t tell brienne that, goes back to self-defensive, goes like ‘well I’m a good lion and I pay my debts’ and then only mentions what his brother and sister think, counting that brienne doesn’t know tyrion and know what he does about cersei... that might make her think that he’s taking their side, and now she is getting defensive pointing out it couldn’t be sansa and so on, but like... he basically has given her conflicted reactions, now she’s back on the defensive... as she generally is unless it’s with someone she trusts.

“Two trials, actually. Words and swords both failed him. A bloody mess. Did you watch from your window?”

“My cell faces the sea. I heard the shouting, though.”

“Prince Oberyn of Dorne is dead, Ser Gregor Clegane lies dying, and Tyrion stands condemned before the eyes of gods and men. They’re keeping him in a black cell till they kill him.”

Brienne looked at him. “You do not believe he did it.”

Jaime gave her a hard smile. “See, wench? We know each other too well. Tyrion’s wanted to be me since he took his first step, but he’d never follow me in kingslaying. Sansa Stark killed Joffrey. My brother’s kept silent to protect her. He gets these fits of gallantry from time to time. The last one cost him a nose. This time it will mean his head.”

now they discuss the trials blah blah blah, and brienne figures out he doesn’t believe tyrion did it just from the tone/the way he says it - because the facts are kind of straight, so it must be the tone of voice, and then what does he says as he gives her a *hard smile*? that they know each other too well. and then he goes and says a bunch of stuff that’s not true (sansa killed joffrey, tyrion kept silent), goading her again...

“No,” Brienne said. “It was not my lady’s daughter. It could not have been her.”

“There’s the stubborn stupid wench that I remember.”

“She reddened. “My name is . . .”

“Brienne of Tarth.” Jaime sighed. “I have a gift for you.” He reached down under the Lord Commander’s chair and brought it out, wrapped in folds of crimson velvet.

Brienne approached as if the bundle was like to bite her, reached out a huge freckled hand, and flipped back a fold of cloth. Rubies glimmered in the light. She picked the treasure up gingerly, curled her fingers around the leather grip, and slowly slid the sword free of its scabbard. Blood and black the ripples shone. A finger of reflected light ran red along the edge. “Is this Valyrian steel? I have never seen such colors.”

“Nor I. There was a time that I would have given my right hand to wield a sword like that. Now it appears I have, so the blade is wasted on me. Take it.” Before she could think to refuse, he went on. “A sword so fine must bear a name. It would please me if you would call this one Oathkeeper. One more thing. The blade comes with a price.”

... at which brienne absolutely falls for it and protests but then he goes like ‘oh there you are’, so he was most likely either testing her or pushing her to say it again/assure himself of what he was doing, but for her... it’d be even more confusing. she blushes when he calls her wench, and then when he says he has a gift she’s scared af until she sees what it is, and when she asks what it is first he does the self-deprecation thing again, then says he wants it named oathkeeper, so far so good... and then says it comes with a price, which makes it sound like she has to do something in return to have it, and how would that sound to her after this entire conversation when he hasn’t told her that he’s cut off ties with anyone but tyrion and he’s been basically hostile/sarcastic/has rebuked all her compliments?

Her face darkened. “I told you, I will never serve . . .”

“. . . such foul creatures as us. Yes, I recall. Hear me out, Brienne. Both of us swore oaths concerning Sansa Stark. Cersei means to see that the girl is found and killed, wherever she has gone to ground . . .”

Brienne’s homely face twisted in fury. “If you believe that I would harm my lady’s daughter for a sword, you—”

“Just listen,” he snapped, angered by her assumption. “I want you to find Sansa first, and get her somewhere safe. How else are the two of us going to make good our stupid vows to your precious dead Lady Catelyn?”

The wench blinked. “I . . . I thought . . .”

now here’s the point but like... she assumes he wanted her to do what cersei wanted when he hasn’t given her any other hint he might want to do otherwise throughout the exchange and basically never told her anything straight and she had come in all excited and wanting to compliment him and presuming the best, and then he gets angry because she assumed wrong... but what was she going to assume? then again: asos!jaime handles a lot of his interactions like an angry teenager because again he started moving on from it during this book and he has no idea of how to deal with her or that that kinda attitude would confuse the shit out of her and make her assume wrong things when she wasn’t assuming them to begin with, and when she immediately realizes he just wanted to keep the oath she goes back to OH, like... she was presuming they’d withhold it from the beginning when she mentioned it along with arya, so it’s her now knowing she was right and go like OH FUCK I FUCKED UP, but like... jaime baby ily but just tell her from the get go right? nah, I guess. buuut let’s go on.

“I know what you thought.” Suddenly Jaime was sick of the sight of her. She bleats like a bloody sheep. “When Ned Stark died, his greatsword was given to the King’s Justice,” he told her. “But my father felt that such a fine blade was wasted on a mere headsman. He gave Ser Ilyn a new sword, and had Ice melted down and reforged. There was enough metal for two new blades. You’re holding one. So you’ll be defending Ned Stark’s daughter with Ned Stark’s own steel, if that makes any difference to you.”

“Ser, I . . . I owe you an apolo . . .”

He cut her off. “Take the bloody sword and go, before I change my mind. There’s a bay mare in the stables, as homely as you are but somewhat better trained. Chase after Steelshanks, search for Sansa, or ride home to your isle of sapphires, it’s naught to me. I don’t want to look at you anymore.”

“Jaime . . .”

“Kingslayer,” he reminded her. “Best use that sword to clean the wax out of your ears, wench. We’re done.”

Stubbornly, she persisted. “Joffrey was your . . .”

now not that I don’t think that jaime wasn’t pushing her also in... outright denial of not wanting her to go, but: now he’s angry at her (when he technically got her angry when he could have not) and wants her to go and he’s telling her again in the sarcasticselfdefense tone and she immediately - immediately - tries to apologize, he shuts her off, doesn’t tell her that the mare is not homely at all, and tells her it’s naught to him when it’s all to him since she knows what his honor means to him, she goes from ‘ser’ (honorific) to ‘jaime’ (personal) and he goes back to ‘nah I’m the kingslayer see that’s all I’ll ever be leave’, except that... she doesn’t leave and she persists, stubbornly, because she actually wants to know, and presses asking about joffrey since she knows he was his father and is most likely still WTFFFFF HE’S BETRAYING HIS FAMILY...

“My king. Leave it at that.”

“You say Sansa killed him. Why protect her?”

Because Joff was no more to me than a squirt of seed in Cersei’s cunt. And because he deserved to die. “I have made kings and unmade them. Sansa Stark is my last chance for honor.” Jaime smiled thinly. “Besides, kingslayers should band together. Are you ever going to go?”

Her big hand wrapped tight around Oathkeeper. “I will. And I will find the girl and keep her safe. For her lady mother’s sake. And for yours.” She bowed stiffly, whirled, and went.

she expects him to say his son? he say ‘his king’ and LEAVE IT AT THAT, giving the idea he doesn’t care, and at that point she goes like okay so why would you protect the person you said killed him, fair question right, which I think on her side was... wanting to see what he’d reply because she’s realizing he won’t answer straight right, and exactly he thinks ‘joffrey deserved it and was nothing to me’ but doesn’t tell her that, he tells her that he made kings and unmade them, fair, and then that sansa is his last chance at honor, and smiles thinly (not hard like before), which suggests he’s visually being sincere, and it’s an answer brienne would get... and then he reminds her that he’s called a kingslayer and she is called one and neither of them actually were in the wrong but they both have bad fame for it and they should band together and pledge their oath, and... brienne gets it because she stops asking questions, takes the sword and goes, but instead of falling for his bait or be angry about being called a kingslayer, she says she’ll fulfill their oath and find sansa for catelyn’s sake and for his sake too, pointing out she’s swearing a vow to him too before she leaves after bowing, which basically seals it...

which means that she walked in with a good impression of him, he challenged it, then she realized it wasn’t wrong and he just was shit as communicating and she’s not... expecting the worse anymore? anytime she thinks of him in affc is as the honorable man who saved her and she swore a vow to and she wishes would be with her on her quest, not as someone she doesn’t trust. so, to go with your questions:

1) brienne still expects the worst from him and thinks he wants her to kill sansa?

as stated from the above: she doesn’t :)

2) can b ever fully trust and love jaime?

she was about to die for him at the end of affc, I think she already does X°D

3) will brienne ever accept that jaime loves her and is capable of good or will she always expect evil from him/ be insecure + expect him to pull a ronnet?

she’s already... not? I mean, accepting he loves her might be a problem because she doesn’t conceive he would as it is and it’d take a while for her to not be insecure, but that he’s capable of good she already does, and she’s way past expecting him to pull a ronnet XD she doesn’t even compare them once like... I don’t see how this would be a thing X°DD

4) i think this will cause problems for them if they ever get together. do you think it would be a deal-breaker?

I don’t because like... okay her being insecure might eventually but honestly she wanted to die for him anon and she was convinced of his good intentions the moment she walked into the room and then he threw her in for a loop and she came out of that even more convinced soooooo no I really don’t think it would XD

[memoriashell]

the luck of the draw ( surely is not in her favor )

Characters /  Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru ( focused ), ft. ( some of ) Class 78

crossposted on ao3

Notes: day two of @tokomaruweek, i'm combining the killing game and talentswap prompts!! it’s still before midnight i’m totally not late at all here,

featuring my totally not original talent / roleswap luck student komaru au. because creativity is dead and i think komaru being stuck in a killing game is ??? when you think about the fact that komaru canonically sees ghosts. you KNOW she ends up possessed by one of the dead students in the last trial bc someone wants to say fuck you to the mastermind :/ also the fact that syo remembers shit but just never says anything feels like great potential!! they just want to love their partner but toko won’t let them front this is homphobia /j

anyways this au just lives in my wips rent free bc i keep changing my mind on how i want things to play out anyways. so this is more of a concept and not canon to that au if i ever finish it and that's also why this takes place in ch1 so i don't gotta think too hard on the details <3 any talents brought up are the ones i'm for sure sticking with.

tws for touko's general paranoia / anxiety / etc, mentions of murder bc kg au, and also since i usually depict syo as nonbinary with they/them pronouns, komaru’s technically accidentally misgendering them from her pov bc she doesn’t/can’t tell that syo is fronting, in case that bothers you!!

Summary: for being chosen on the basis of luck, it doesn't feel like she's ever going to catch a break here.

It’s quiet, this morning.

Not that she really knows any better— they’ve only been trapped in the school with the murder bear for a few days, after all. So maybe Komaru’s focusing on the wrong part.

It’s less that it’s quiet, there’s a few faces missing that she’d have expected to get there before her. Especially since she’d managed to sleep through her alarm again and had been kind of late; she had fully expected to be greeted with a lecture as soon as she’d gotten to the dining hall. Alright, one person specifically that stands out in her mind, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed by her that Fukawa’s not there yet. Weird, given the moral compass had lectured her for being tardy to meet up with everyone on their first day, and then for sleeping in the first morning, but...given the videos that bear had shown them the previous day, she supposes she can’t blame some people to feel reluctant to show up. Maybe that’s where she is? Going around to check on people? She had seemed a little paranoid that people were skipping out on gathering in the morning on purpose...

( Because she really, really doesn’t want to think about the possibility that Fukawa, or any of her other classmates might possibly be dead. That someone would have actually gone through with trying to kill one another? So she simply won’t think about that fact. It feels kind of like a Pavlovian...no, wait, that’s the wrong person. Uh. Freudian theory? Ah! Schrödinger’s cat. Yeah, that kind of scenario )

Okay, that settles it! She should probably have breakfast first, and if Fukawa hasn’t shown up by the time she finishes, she’ll go see if she can find her. Besides, she’s sure they aren’t the only ones who are concerned about the ones that haven’t shown up. Maizono seemed super nice ( unsurprisingly ), so maybe if she’s still hanging out in the dining hall, Komaru can convince her to help her in her search! Now that she thinks about it, she can probably ask anyone that comes by the dining hall for any leads.

...But why does she care so much in the first place? It’s not like she doesn’t care about the others: even the ones already dead— she can’t place why exactly she feels attached to people she barely knew, but she’s always been pretty sentimental. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s the way Fukawa seems to try so hard to be close to people in one moment, and then so distant in the next.

In any case, standing in front of the fridge and spacing out is probably far from a good idea, besides the obvious fact that she’s in the way— she doesn’t even notice that someone has decided to take advantage of her distracted state to pull the wool over her eyes. Er, the hoodie of her jacket, technically.

She’s hardly gotten a chance to push the hood back before a hand comes down on her head to ruffle her hair. Or, well, she presumes that is his intention, even if the gesture comes off as more of a light noogie. She puffs her cheeks out in a pout, glaring up while the other smirks down at her. “‘Sup, squirt? Falling asleep on yer feet, or is there another reason yer zoning out in the middle of the kitchen?” The baseball star tosses an apple in his hand like one would with a ball, and she considers lightly kicking Oowada’s ankles in retaliation.

“Just thinking. You probably shouldn’t play with your food like that though.” She responds, and he makes a face at her.

“Ah, so ya do still got something still rattlin’ in that tiny head of yours, good. Worried I knocked everything outta ya.” He teases, reaching past her to open the fridge door. “An’ why would you do that to yerself? It’s still too early in the mornin’ fer that shit.”

“Well...I’m just a little worried. There are fewer people hanging out in the dining hall this morning.” She admits.

He scowls. “Pretty sure they’re just antsy ‘cause of that damn bear ‘nd if any of them have a lick of sense in ‘em they’ll be busy looking fer a way out or somethin’. Don’t worry yer pretty lil’ head about it.”

“...Yeah, I guess.” She can’t help but worry, but her concern isn’t exactly going to help right now, at any rate. Maybe she’ll just find something that she can take with her to eat. “Oh! But speaking of that, did you happen to see Fukawa-san on your way here? I would’ve thought she would have stayed around here this morning, honestly.”

“Her? Mm, yeah, heard her and Ishimaru goin’ at it in the halls earlier—”

“They were what?” Before he can finish his sentence, Asahina’s voice cuts in from behind her, pitch breaking midspeech.

“Fighin’! They were jus’ yelling at each other! N...Not anything weird!” Oowada backtracks in a panic when he realizes how poorly his wording could be misconstrued, even if such a thought never occurred to her. “Jeeze, ya think the Public Morals chick would engage in that shit? Not that I don’t think she might be a bit hypocritical with her rules ‘nd shit but—”

“No! No, I don’t! That’s why I was asking!” Asahina retorts with a huff, and while they bicker, Komaru takes this as an opportunity to slink out of the kitchen with a slice of toast. Unfortunately, Maizono seems to have left in that span of time, but the Clairvoyant happens to be sitting alone, so she figures she might see if she has anything interesting to contribute.

Enoshima opens an eye to stare at her upon hearing her footsteps, presumably, and before Komaru can even greet her, she speaks, monotone. “Four.”

Whatever question you’d planned to say dies in your throat, instead sputtering out a bewildered, “H-Huh?”

“It’s your lucky number for the day.” She sounds bored, as if she’d been stating the obvious, instead of some cryptic statement.

“...Isn’t that the number of death?” She is less certain of herself than she wants to be, ignoring the shiver that runs down her back upon realizing this.

Enoshima grins at that, for reasons she doesn’t understand; cheery voice a total 180 from what it’d been moments ago. “Well, perhaps it means you’ll be having a meeting with death today? Probably about time someone kicked the bucket, someone was bound to snap sooner or later... I’m sure your luck will kick in though, right? But I’ll wish you good luck anyways!”

“Thank you...?” Is that the appropriate response here? She’s not sure, but it’s probably not worth lingering on any longer than she already has, and decides with a rising urgency that maybe she should find Fukawa.

Although, recounting the conversation in the kitchen, she wonders if she should check on Ishimaru as well. Neither of them really struck Komaru as the kind to fight ( with their fists, at least, Fukawa’s mouth seemed set on picking a fight half the time ), so to say she was a little concerned might be an understatement. Given the writer had a tendency to be more openly friendly she could probably get a straight...well, an honest answer from him as to what had happened.

But she wanders for what feels like ages, and doesn’t have any luck ( haha, the irony ) in finding any hint as to where either of them might have gone, and decides to stick to her efforts to find Fukawa first. Ishimaru seemed like the type to be more resilient, so maybe she can catch him around their next meal time. If he didn’t lose track of time again, at least...

Ugh, she’d kill to honestly run into anyone around here. Not literally kill, obviously, but for reasons she’s been trying to keep quiet on, she really hates wandering the halls alone: or most places that they can access right now, to be honest. She keeps seeing this one ghost this one ghost in particular ( or at least Komaru is pretty sure she’s a ghost ), but she refuses to acknowledge her hanging around because that would be weird, and she would like to seem normal and if someone saw that it’d be a hassle to explain.

Fortunately, her search finally turns up fruitful when she finds Fukawa spacing out in the A/V room.

...Unfortunately for her, finding Fukawa earns her a pretty close brush with death. In the blink of an eye, a pair of scissors are thrust against her throat, pinning her back against the moment she steps into the room.

Oh. Uh. Oh god? Was Enoshima actually right about that? Her breath catches in her throat and for a moment, she wonders who would find her if she was killed here. Would they care? What about her parents— Makoto?

Would they sigh and just ponder if she’d ever been lucky at all?

And just as quick, the cold metal is pulled away from where it rests against her neck. “Oh. It’s just you.” The words are spoken with more warmth than she can ever recall hearing Fukawa speak with, which is really weird considering what just went down.

Ever so smartly, Komaru doesn’t actually process what is said to her, and responds with, “Isn’t that technically against the rules?”

A thin eyebrow is raised at her, scissors being tucked away under her shirt. Uh. “No? That’s what they want, right? Or are you so naive that you think that everyone would really follow the rules?”

Well. She’s probably not entirely wrong in thinking that she’s naive, but... “Isn’t, uhm. Isn’t that your thing, though? The rules?”

Fukawa looks startled to have this pointed out to her, for some reason. “Oh, hahaha, yeah. T-Totally! I was just...uh, testing you.”

Okay, now she’s just downright acting strange? Komaru’s willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she’s just acting odd because the videos are weighing on her mind. They are in the AV room, after all. Something doesn’t add up though, but she can’t quite place what it is...

Komaru opens her mouth to ask the other a question, but when she looks back over at Fukawa, her expression has gone kind of...distant? Hazy? She doesn’t quite know how to describe it, and begins to ask if she’s feeling okay when the other girl sort of...collapses into her, arms going around her loosely. She panics a little because that can’t be a sign of anything good, right? Is she feeling dizzy? She’s not passed out, and at least she’s breathing normally. She’s surprisingly pretty light, so it’s not like it’s really an issue to just help support her until she feels better.

The only warning that she gets is the feeling of the other girl tensing up before Fukawa suddenly bolts upright and shoves herself away. Komaru frowns a little, not because of the sudden change in attitude ( if anything, she finds that strangely reliving ), but moreso out of concern, attempting to reach her hands out to help steady her on her feet, but gets her hands slapped away before she can do so. “Don’t touch me.” She hisses.

Okay she’d be lying if she said that didn’t sting, but she can’t help but laugh for a moment. “Ahaha— sorry, I’m not laughing at you. For a moment there, you seemed like a completely different person! I’m glad to see you’re feeling better, Fukawa-san.” If she were more aware of the situation, she might feel more guilty for being unintentionally insensitive: but as she doesn't, she simply misses the way the other looks nervous for a moment while she wonders what that had been all about ( but can’t quite gather the nerve to actually ask ).

“Y-Yeah, real likely story. You just...just came to l-laugh at me in a moment of weakness, r-r-right?” She glares, hands clenched. “I know your type! No one is...is actually that nice w-without some kind of ulterior motive.”

Is that what she actually thinks about me?

“No! I really am glad to see you’re feeling better. You really had me scared there for a minute.” She says sincerely, offering her a reassuring smile. “If you want, I’ll listen to whatever’s bothering you. It’ll stay between us.”

Fukawa scowls, watching her for a long minute with a guarded expression. “There w-was something on the, uh, disc that Monokuma gave you, right? Just like— like everyone else?”

Huh? Well, if this is what it takes to get her trust, then she supposes she can talk about it... “Yeah. It was my parents and my older brother. It’s...kinda scary to think about, honestly. What about you, Fukawa-san? Was it also your family?”

“No. M-M-Mine was blank. Because...because there was no one to choose. Or so he says.” Her jaw is clenched. “Of course, I had to— I acted like I was the same as everyone else, b-because it’d be strange if I didn’t, right? You’d think I was, was working with them or something...everyone would really hate me after th-yhat.”

“Uhm, I’m pretty sure Togami-san didn’t even blink an eye...?” She tries to bring up as a counterpoint, but apparently she has more to say.

“A-A-And before you ask, it’s not like they’re wrong about that, so...so it didn’t surprise me to here it. But everyone got s...something similar, right? All these personal th-things about us...just how much do they really know? How are we supposed to act like, like this is all normal when they’ve got that kind of leverage over us...!”

Oh. She’s shaking— she’s scared. She’s been putting up a front? Komaru puts two and two together after a moment, gently taking the other girl’s hands in her own. This time, she doesn’t get pushed away.

“I’m scared too.” She admits. “Thinking about it like that is scary. But that’s what they want from us, right? To make us scared, so we act the way he wants us to, right?”

Fukawa remains silent, but the conflicted look on her face at least indicated that she was paying attention to her and not ignoring her like she might’ve feared. Komaru squeezes her hands in an attempt to be reassuring. “But you think we’ll all get out alive, right? So no matter what, as long as you believe that, no matter what they might know we’ll be okay. And if you don’t think you can do that on your own, I’ll be right here to support you. So we’ll definitely get out alive, it’s a promise...!”

“You...You really don’t know wh-wh-what you’re saying.” She mutters under her breath, but Komaru takes it in stride with a grin.

“That’s not a no!” It’s not a yes either, but Fukawa doesn’t humor her in further acknowledging the subject: it doesn’t really mater, because Komaru sees a hint of what might be called a smile in her gentle expression.

Yes, at least with one of your peers, you are sure you’ve grown a little closer with today ( and for today, that is a good enough start ).

[mexcraziness-art]

Naruto OC: Naegi “Hanako” Hatake

This took way too long to make, but you guys have no idea how happy I am! I'm actually proud of it! I had like 13 Naruto OCs, when I was 10 years old, eventually I removed them from Naruto and gave them their own story... and now I started rewatching Naruto at 22 and I made like 8 NEW OCs, Hanako, a Kakayama fankid being the first of the bunch! Yes there's more to come... eventually. NOW, as for Hanako:

Name: Naegi „Hanako” Hatake Birthdate: August 30. (Virgo) Gender: Female Age: 11 Height: 145 cm Weight: 41 kg Blood Type: A Kekkei Genkai: Wood Release Affiliation: Konohagakure Rank: -

Nature Type:

   -          Wood Release

   -          Lightning Release

Parents:

   -          Tenzo

   -          Kakashi Hatake

Background:

Naegi was created as part of one of Orochimaru’s experiment projects. He mixed people’s DNA together to create new life, but he abandoned the project before it was completed. Tenzo found Naegi in the abandoned lab on a solo mission, about a year after he joined Kakashi’s team in Anbu. He found she was a mix of his and Kakashi’s DNA, because Orochimaru hoped to create another successful Mokuton wielder with the Hatake Clan’s chakra density. Tenzo felt a connection with her, and asked The Third Hokage to leave her in his care, as they’re essentially the closest thing either of them has to having a family. The Third Hokage allowed him to keep her and look after her in complete secrecy, even from Kakashi. For a long time Tenzo viewed her just as someone related to him who shares his origins, and he didn’t want her to go through the same things he did. However as she grew he started to think of her more as his daughter. She grew up mostly alone, as Tenzo was constantly away on missions. When she was about 3 years old, after the Uchiha Masacre, Kinoto showed up at their home, trying to reconcile with Tenzo. Of course Tenzo didn’t trust him at all, afraid Danzo had sent him and he made sure he won’t find out about Naegi’s existence. Still giving him a chance he slowly let him into his life and it was working out for a while. Until Naegi accidentally revealed herself to Kinoto a couple of months later. After Tenzo threatened Kinoto on his life, Naegi and Kinoto actually got along great relatively fast. He quickly became sort of a Step-Father/Uncle figure to her.

Soon after that she used the Mokuton for the first time, (making flowers sprout and bloom around her, hence earning her the nickname Hanako) which left Tenzo in more than his fair share of despair. He hoped she didn’t inherit the Mokuton and wouldn’t have to face the same life he does. He begged Hiruzen not to force her into the Shinobi life when the time comes, which he allowed but only if she gets homeschooled regardless and Tenzo teaches her how to use the Mokuton just in case. Which was working out for a short while, until Danzo found out about her existence, and kidnapped her. Tenzo was livid. He entered Sage mode for the first time, and turned the Foundation base inside out, and with Kinoto help he got Hanako back. After that Kinoto had completley earned back Tenzo’s trust and place in their family. After all this, Tenzo grew overprotective of her, and didn’t really let her out anymore, specially not alone, fearing the Mokuton put too big of a target on her back. Tenzo and Kinoto trained her the following years, her only friend was Konohomaru and his gang who once accidentally dropped in their garden when she was 8 years old. She was around the same age when Tenzo told her of her real origins, Kakashi, the founding of Konoha and the significance of the Mokuton. She decided she wants to become a shinobi, despite Tenzo’s worries, to protect that legacy and the people who sacrificed for it. Tenzo waved off the idea, telling her she doesn’t need to become a shinobi to do that. That didn’t deter her, she upped her studies and training, even occasionally sneaking out to watch the other kids at the Academy.

Years passed this way, Tenzo and Kinoto training her, even after Kinoto and Tenzo had split up, they remained close. She was 11 years old when Tenzo (by now working with Team 7) went on a special mission with Kakashi and three others. Kinoto showed up at their home at the crack of dawn to tell Hanako that Tenzo is in the hospital, badly hurt, but stable. They were ambushed on their way back home from the mission, the other three died and Kakashi was still missing. Desperate, because she wanted to meet Kakashi ever since she found out about her other father, and because she knew how much Kakashi meant to Tenzo, she stole an Anbu gear, Tenzo’s Anbu mask, and sneaked out to find Kakashi herself.

Personality:

Hanako took a lot after Tenzo, naturally, having grown-up with him. She’s generally cheerful, kind, calm and collected, quick both in mind and on her feet. She’s also ambitious, and stubborn, relentlesly training and working towards her goal of becomming a shinobi one day, to protect her loved ones and the legacy she’s left with. She’s proud of her abilities and skills. She’s also overly concious of the weight of the Mokuton, which also leaves her overconfident and arrogant at times. She knows she’s more skilled than most kids her age, which also leads her letting her guard down more easily. Because there’s so few of them she’s also incredibly loyal and devoted to her family and the people in her life. However she also tends to get emotional and impulsive when family and friendship matters are on the table. Because Tenzo, Kinoto, and occasionally Konohamaru are the only people she ever knew she has trouble connecting with new people, unsure how to approach them and how to behave around others. In these situations she usually reverts back to the one thing she’s sure of, her skills and her pride in those skills, so she usually comes across more arrogant and smug (even though she IS smug) to new people. However outside of training, around people she knows, she’s carefree and playful, she likes to play pranks on Kinoto, trying to catch him off guard. She’s also gets easily frustated and annoyed when her skills and abilies are questioned, Tenzo not letting her attend the Academy and become a shinobi is an age-old constant conflict between them that she refuses to let go of and frustates her beyond reason.

Relationships:

Tenzo: Even if he was absent for most of Hanako’s childhood, after he began training her, they grew very close. They’re in-tune with eachother’s emotions and thoughts, they’re essentially on the same wave-lenght about most things. They can always tell when the other is bothered by something or is in a bad mood, they also share a sense of humor, both of them love to creep out others and occasionally play pranks on them. Hanako is extremely loyal and grateful to Tenzo, for everything he’s done for her, in a way she feels she owes him, specially after he tells her their shared origins. Because of this she’s pretty protective of him and his reputation and gets frustated when he doesn’t get the recognition he deserves. The only, and biggest source of conflict between them, which only gets worse as Hanako grows older, is Tenzo’s overprotective nature. She wants nothing more than prove herself and become a shinobi to protect her family like they protected her, which Tenzo denies time and time again. Whenever they fight about it, it leaves both of them bitter and frustated, but they usually make-up in a few hours. They both understand where the other is comming from, Hanako knows why Tenzo is so worried about her, and Tenzo understands why Hanako wants to get out there but neither of them is willing to back down.

Kinoto: After Tenzo, Hanako is probably the closest with Kinoto. They easily clicked and got along when she was little, and he quickly grew to be sort of a Step-Father/Uncle figure to her. She usually confides in him with her frustrations about Tenzo’s overprotectiveness. She also enjoys training with him more, because they always have little playful challenges between them, he never pulls his punches against her, but most importantly she doesn’t feel the need to impress him, like she does when training with Tenzo.

Konohamaru: She considers Konohamaru a friend, but more of a „that wierd kid who occasionally drops by” kind of friend. They usually just chat and hang whenever Konohamaru comes by, and he usually tells her whatever’s going around in the village, he’s her main connection to the outside world, and even if she wouldn’t admit it, she grew quite fond of him as the years passed. There’s a friendly rivalry between them, they spar whenever one of them learns a new technique, Konohamaru to show off, and Hanako to prove, she’s just as good as him, despite not being an official shinobi.

Abilities: Her skills are generally above average for her age. Had she attented the Academy, she would be well on her way to becomming a Chunnin. Having been raised and trained by Anbu, she’s fairly skilled in Taijutsu and Kenjutsu. What she lacks in physical strength she makes up in speed. She’s fast both in mind, and on her feet. She’s specially skilled with swords, however she always preffered daggers and kunais.

Ninjutsu: She can perform all the basic jutsu Genin are capable of, like the Clone Jutsu and Substitution Jutsu.

Wood Release: She discovered she can use Wood Release when she was almost 4 years old. For a long time all she could do was grow flowers, and make plants around her bloom, which earned her the nickname Hanako. As the years and her trainings progressed, she quickly caught on. According to Tenzo she has a real talent for it and with time she could become a real force of nature. A strange thing about her Mokuton, is that she’s unable to use Earth and Water Release seperatley, she has both inside of her, but she’s completley unable to use them, only when she combines them into Wood Release. She’s also unable to heal herself even with the Mokuton, only her smaller bruises and cuts heal faster than normal.

By age of 11, she’s able to use the following Wood Release techniques:

   -          Wood Clone Technique: She can only make one, it generally takes a great effort for her to maintain for a longer period of time.

   -          Transmission Wood

   -          Wood Release: Transformation

   -          Wood Release: Hand Tool Manipulation

   -          Wood Release: Wood Locking Wall

   -          Wood Release: Four-Pillar House Technique: Her buildings are not even nearly as grand as Tenzo’s, but she can make a mean tree house.

   -          

Lightning Release: At age of 11, she’s currently unable to use any Lightning Release jutsus, however she can build up lightning chakra inside of her, and zap whoever she touches.

Other Skills:

She has sensory abilities, she hadn’t discovered yet, she’s able to have a vauge sense of people through plants and other vegetation.

Weaknesses: Her general weakness lies in her impulsiveness and pride. When her pride or reputation is on the line, she rushes into situations and puts too much faith in her Mokuton and easily lets her guard down, leaving herself open to attacks. She doesn’t know when to back down, specially when the issue/conflict is personal, it easily clouds her judgement. She also has troubles with chakra control that incredibly frustates her. She always uses up way more chakra than neccesary, which leaves her quickly exhausted. Me: *Has over 29 pages of notes on OCs* Man, I better not write too much, or it'll be incomprehensible and boring : / Also me: Dumbs and shortens down everything so much it becomes incomprehensible and boring ANYWAYS, I hope I didn't forget anything crucial, I might add some things here and there, like a fun facts segment or something, I haven't decided for sure yet, this is probably it for now.

Art by @mexcraziness-art​

Naegi “Hanako” Hatake belongs to @mexcraziness-art​

Naruto belongs to  Masashi Kishimoto

[in-arlathan]

Elenara Lavellan

Elven rogue and archer, specialized as Artificer

Hunter of Clan Lavellan, Inquisitor and Comtesse of Kirkwall

Finally, I managed to update Elenara’s profile and biography. Yay me! I wanted to do this for the longest time. The first iteration of her biography was rather short and I have developed her character since then a lot more through little posts here on Tumblr and fanfiction. I didn’t even know how many head-canons I had for Elenara until I started writing this. This made it so much more fun (and challenging).

I hope you enjoy reading this, although I know this a big reference post for myself for the most part. If you wanna know more about my Lavvelan, you’ll more posts about her via her tag.

____

PROFILE

Full name: Elenara Lavellan Race: Dalish elf Class: Rogue, archer Specialization: Artificer Nationality: Free Marches Religion: Elven gods

Biometrics

Age: 32 (in 9:41 Dragon) Eye color: Green Hair color: Blonde Height: 1,55 m / 5,1 feet Weight: 43 kg / 86 pounds Vallaslin: Dirthamen Scars: Two facial scars (left eye, left side of her jaw), one on the lower back (from an arrow), two on the abdomen (from stab wounds).

____

CHARACTER TRAITS

Positive: Empathetic, patient, and open-minded. Negative: Too trusting, tends to avoid confrontations, prone to procrastination

Motivation and goals

Elenara is driven by the desire to understand–be it politics, history or people. She always looks for the why and goes out of her way to see the world from other people’s perspective. Her goal is to create a world in which the people of Thedas can learn to co-exist peacefully.

Strengths and weakness

Due to her empathetic traits, she is a good mediator and knows how to broker a deal between different parties. She can make everyone feel valued and appreciated and thus build strong alliances between parties that would otherwise be at odds with each other. This strength is also the source of her greatest weakness. Her trustworthiness and forgiveness can be exploited by different people. Oftentimes, Elenara will not know that she has been betrayed until it’s too late.

Special abilities

She is a hunter first and foremost, skilled with the bow as much as a blade. As a young woman, she would learn how to mend old armor and sow new clothing. Her talent with a needle became useful when patching up injured hunters in the absence of a healer or medical professional. She is used to closing her own wounds, even if they will leave a scar.

Dreams and aspirations

As a young girl, she would dream about going to visit the Grand Tourney. As she became older, she aspired to attending a university to further her studies and be up-to-par with human scholars.

Best friends and confidants

With the Lavellan clan: Deshanna, Erendir and Almaril With the Inquisition: Varric, Dorian and Cassandra

Likes, dislikes and other preferences

Loves roasted chestnuts

Likes to sleep in open fields

Enjoys being alone in the woods,

Can spend hours on end daydreaming

Despises human shoes, but has a nack for make-up. Lipstick, especially.

Red is her favourite color

Nicknames

While the faithful called her “Herald of Andraste”, she never took much liking to the title. She prefered the nicknames given to her by relatives and friends like Nara (used by members of her clan), Aunt Ell (by the children of her friend Erendir), as well as Inky or Boss. After the Exalted Council, Varric would start to call her “Comtesse”⎯an ironic reference to the informal title she owned thanks to him.

→ You’ll find her biography (plus screenshots) behind the cut.

____

BIOGRAPHY

Early years

Born in 9:09 Dragon as the daughter of the former First Hunter of the Lavellan clan, Elenara learned how to provide for herself and her kin at a very early age and became a fairly skilled archer. With a gift for crafts and needlework, she would often create new clothing or armor of her fellow hunters and help their healers tend to the wounded.

After the death of her father in 9:22 Dragon, she became fascinated with the lore and history of Thedas. More often than not, she would wander away from the camp to search for old ruins, until the keeper decided to provide Elenara with books to study instead. From then onward, the young hunter would craft new clothing to sell in the various cities in the Free Marches to pay for her education. 

When coming of age, she decided to have the vallaslin of Dirthamen, keeper of secrets, tattooed to her face, as she felt drawn to the past of her people and the secrets it might hold. At the age of 31, she was knowledgeable about history, politics and the culture of various nations, which made her the perfect candidate when it was time for the keeper to choose a clan member to witness the conclave at Haven.

Although she deeply cared for her clan, only a few members ever got close to Elenara after her father’s death. Her aunt Irileth, her father’s younger sister, took care of her but became estranged from her niece when Elenara had grown into a woman. From then on, Elenara spent most of her time with Erendir, a young hunter only three years older than her. She admired his kindness and practicality while he was fascinated with her curiosity. For a time, they maintained in intimate relationship, until Erendir asked her to be his wife and have children with him.

Joining the Inquisition

When she was asked to attend the Divine’s conclave in Haven, she was eager to go, but uncertain how she or her clan could benefit from the outcome of the mage-templar war. Using her knowledge of human society, she managed to blend in with the crowd at the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

Being a simple hunter beforehand, she was confused by the explosion at the conclave and its aftermath. When she saw the destruction the Breach caused in Haven, she agreed to help in the efforts to stop this madness. She was reluctant when it came to joining the Inquisition however. Being a firm believer in the elven pantheon, Elenara had no ties with the chantry. Being called “Herald of Andraste” felt like deception to her, and so she never actively claimed that title for herself. She ultimately agreed to help Cassandra, Leliana and Cullen to form the Inquisition to secure her own safety and play her part in closing the Breach.

Her biggest concern in the early days of the Inquisition was to save the refugees in the Hinterlands and other regions of Ferelden and protected them from rebel mages and rogue templars alike. Soon, she became known for her compassion and temperance among the Inquisition forces.

With her choice to side with the rebel mages at Redcliffe, Elenara gained a whole heap of enemies, but also new powerful allies.

Becoming Inquisitor

After the descruction of Haven, Elenara struggled with her new role as Inquisitor. Being a firm believer in the elven Creators, she never quite felt at ease with leading the armies of the faithful, and she kept her thoughts on the matter fairly secret. Although her confidants knew about her doubts, she played along with the diplomatic charade Leliana had set up. She knew all too well that this was the only way to stop Corypheus before he could cloak the world.

In the back of her head, she was trying to find a way to use her new power as leverage to help her people–the elves.

Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts

After ending the conflict in the Dales between the imperial forces and the so-called Freeman, it was time to prevent the assassination attempt on Empress Celene. Leliana, Josphine and Vivienne would teach Elenara in the rules of the Great Game in preparation, as well as dancing and ettiquette.

Upon arriving in Halamshiral, Elenara found herself in a state of true panic for the first time since she joined the Inquisition. Right there, in the heart of the Dales where her people once fought for their freedom, she came to realize that she was no longer studying history, but making it with her own hands. Being looked down upon from the Orlesian nobles didn’t do much to help her ease into the situation. She had no fondness for the great game of deception the Orlesians like to play, although she managed to find her way around the Winter Palace. It was painfully clear that there was more at stake than her own reputation. Not just for the Inquisition, but for the elves in general.

In the end, she managed to confront Florianne de Chalons in front of the imperial court, putting an end to her plan to kill the empress. Elenara also managed the reveal delicate details about Grand-Duke Gaspard’s plans to usurpe the throne, and Celene had her cousin executed in response. Elenara’s goal was to reconcile Celene with her former lover to give the elven rebel an edge in Orlesian politics, but the empress exiled Briala instead. Elenara had Leliana and her spies keep an eye out for Briala’s whereabouts since she, too, was interested in helping the elves of Thedas.

Relationship with Solas

As Inquisitor, Elenera used every chance she got to deepen her knowledge of the world. Naturally, she would gravitate towards Solas, who knew more about the history of the world than anyone else she had ever met. She was fascinated by his abilities as a dreamer and would often listen to the stories he had found during his exploration of the Fade. More than that, she saw in him what the elves might be: proud, confident, and respected. Soon, she found herself infatuated with him though keep this to herself until the Inquisition reached Skyhold. 

Even after their first kiss in the Fade, Elenara tried to keep her feelings for him fairly secret, meeting with Solas in private whenever possible. Afraid to admit that she had fallen in love with him, she tried to keep up the illusion of them being close friends in front of her companions. An endeavour that was destined to fail, as Varric and Dorian soon discovered the truth about the couple. And yet, Elenara stalled and put of saying “I love you” as long as possible – until one night by a lake near Crestwood.

More on her relationship with Solas here:

OTP Questions #1

OTP Questions #2

Death of the Lavellan clan

Shortly after the events at the Winter Palace, a messenger arrived with a terrible message. Bandits had attacked and killed the Lavellan clan. Any help from the Inquisition came too late.

After the death of her clan, Elenara was so devastated that she practically avoided any mention of them. She felt miserable and ashamed to have not been there to fight among them, and wouldn’t let Solas or any of her other companions comfort her. That was, until a few survivors arrived in the Frostback mountains. Among them were Erendir and his wife Almaril.

Happy to have them back in her life, Elenara offered them a place at Skyhold, but they refused. Almaril hated Elenara for joining the Inquisition while the clan had needed her, although she knew her friend had good reasons to stay in Haven. The bigger problem was Erendir, however. Although he had ended the relationship with Elenara at his own volition and went on to have children with Almaril, he didn’t fail to notice the attachment his former lover felt for Solas. Erendir had loved Elenara deeply and still regretted ending things between them, because she refused to have children with him. Seeing her with Solas, who was a better match for her than Erendir had ever been, made it even worse.

One night, he confronted Solas to learn more about the apostate‘s feelings for Elenara, eventually bragging about his shared past with her. Despite being tempted to teach the other elf a lesson, Solas left Erendir where he stood, determined to never speak of the matter again. When Elenara got wind of this, she felt betrayed and asked Erendir and Almaril to leave Skyhold. She made sure, however, that the Inquisition provided for them and the other surviving clan members before they parted ways.

Here Lies The Abyss & The Temple of Mythal

After the remaining members of the Lavellan clan left Skyhold, the Inquisition armies marched for Adamant Fortress. Interrupting the ritual with which the Grey Wardens would have summoned a demon army, Elenara and her party were attacked by Corphyeus’s lyrium dragon. Opening a rift, she managed to safe Warden Strout, Hawke and herself, as well as Solas, Cassandra and Dorian who had accompanied her on the mission.

After retrieving her memories and defeating the Nightmare, Elenara pressed on to stop Corypheus as soon as possible. After freeing Emprise the Lion from the red templars, she order a coordinated attack on the enemy troups in the Arbor Wilds.

Once again, she was accompanied by Solas, Cassandra, and Dorian as she entered the Temple of Mythal. Under differenty circumstances, finding the temple would be a life-long wish of hers fulfilled. Tempted to stay and study the ancient relief in the temple to learn as much about the past of her people, only the immediate danger of Corypheus taking the power of the Well of Sorrows let her press on.

Elenara sided with the Sentinels to bring down the red templars that attacked the ancient temple. Afraid of the power of the Well and what might do it with her, Elenara decided to let Morrigan drink from the waters and be bound to Mythal’s will.

When she ventured deeper into the Arbor Wilds to find the altar of the Mythal, Elenara had already begun to suspect that something was wrong. Until then, her belief in the elven gods had been unfaltering, but knowing that the All-Mother still lived and had chosen to ignore the plight of her people made her question their authority. Had she been unsure if she could continue her life as a Dalish elf and came to except that she had to become some else entirely.

The Vallaslin Removal

When Solas told her about the true meaning of the vallaslin, Elenara was deeply hurt. Though she had taken some pride in being Dalish and loved her people for trying to preserve elven history, she was disappointed by the elven Creators by this point that she wanted to leave her past and devotion for them behind. Therefore, she allowed Solas to take the vallaslin from her.

The Battle With Corypheus And After

Rattled by the events at the Temple of Mythal and the break-up with Solas, Elenara dove head first into the final confrontation with Corypheus, not hesitating to face the Tevinter magister in the Valley of Sacred Ashes. Fully prepared to die in battle, she fights her nemesis with brute force. When she finally obtained the orb from Corypheus’s hands, she banished the magister to the Fade without batting an eyelide. It was the first time, she came into contact with her darker side and gave in to her own lust for revenge.

After the battle and Solas disappearance, she began to feel exhausted, drained from the struggles. Slowly, she descended into a state of depression. Not only had she lost her clan, but also her home, her faith in the Creators and her identity, as well as the man she had come to love. Knowing all to well that it would be best for her to move on and find new purpose in live, she clung to her former life and couldn’t stop loving Solas. To distract herself, she took on the mission of finding the resting place of Inquistor Ameridan and was eager to help out with the earthquakes in the Deep Roads. Until...

The Exalted Council and the Qunari Invasion

Two years after the destruction of Haven, Cassandra, now known as Divine Victoria, called for an Exalted Council in Halamshiral. Returning to the city in which she had fought so hard to gain the respect of the Orlesian nobles – and humans in general – Elenara final came to the conclusion that in it was time to move on. She had felt lost for too long know and it was taking a toll on her. So, when the time came to meet with the ambassadors of Ferelden and Orlais, she fully expected the negotiations to result the the disbanding of the Inquisition.

And yet, when a qunari corpse was found in the middle of the Winter Palace, she felt that sense of purpse again. Dealing with the threat that the qunari posed gave her something to do, something she was actually good at. Even when the anchor was beginning to effect her health, she kept on going, determined to make herself useful again.

What she didn’t expect was to find out that Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf, was orchestrating the events from behind the scenes. With what she had learned about Mythal, Elenara was willing to believe that Fen’Harel was a living and breathing entity, too. When she learned that Solas was the trickster god she learned to fear as a child, her world was shattered once again. Not even once did she consider joining him, for she had fought to hard to protect the world as she knew it. Even without a purpose and without a new identity that transcended her role as Inquisitor, she knew she could not let Solas go forth with his plans, no matter how much she still loved him.

After the Exalted Council

Learning that the Inquisition has been compromised by qunari spies and Fen’Harel’s agents, she executed her initial plan of disbanding the entire organization as soon as she and her party returned to the Winter Palace.

With the Inquisition gone, Elenara found herself free to go wherever she wanted. Now holding the title “Countess” in Kirkwall, she returned to the Free Marches and tried to settle in to her new estate in Hightown while corresponding with Cassandra, Dorian, Cullen and Leliana to coordinate the activities to counter Solas’s plan. She felt confident working from underground and plotting to redeem her former lover.

Six months after the painful revelation of Solas being Fen’Harel and Elenera’s fruitless attempts to learn more about her lovers whereabouts, she called in a few favors and went to Val Royeaux to attend the University of Orlais–one of the first elves to ever do so. The university gave her access to ancient documents with which she planned to further her studies on Fen’Harel, while her presence allowed elves to pursue an academic career more openly. Elenara fought for their rights for higher education, using her reputation as Inquisitor and “Herald of Andraste” as well as her acquaintance with Professor Kenric as leverage. 

And there she remains, until she finds a way to change the Dread Wolf’s heart or counter his plan to destroy the world.

[softboy-writes]

Naturae (BNHA x Son of Aizawa! Mother Nature! Male! Reader)

Chapter 2: Recommendations and The First Day of School

“(Y/N), there’s a letter for you!” My dad called from the porch. I stopped my sit ups, looking towards him. He held an envelope with the UA insignia pressed on it in ink. His face held a big smile as he waved it slightly. 

I got up, running across the backyard to the porch and attempting to grab the envelope. Dad moved it away from my hand, smiling wider. 

“You don’t need to read it. I already know what it says,” He laughed. “You’ve been accepted into UA Highschool and since I already know how good your quirk is you don’t have to go to the recommendation exams. You’re start (date),”

I stared, wide eyed, at my dad. Jumping at him, I pulled him into a hug and laughed, chanting ‘I got in! I got in!’. Dad laughed, hugging me back. 

~Very large time skip~

Dad and I trained hard over the next few months. My muscles have become even more defined. I mastered mixed martial arts and expanded my quirk time limit to over 24 hours.

Before we knew it, the first day of school was upon us. 

~~~

“(Y/N), get up,” Dad poked my forehead. 

“Noooooo,” I whined, pulling my blanket over my head. “Five more minutes,”

“That’s what you said five, ten and fifteen minutes ago,” Dad deadpanned. “You only have ten minutes to get ready before I leave you here,” Wide awake, I sat up. Dad laughed as I rushed to put on my uniform.

“Don’t laugh, old man,” I glared lightly at him, throwing on my bag and leaving my room. He followed close after me, grabbing his keys as I pulled on my usual black converses. 

We left the house, soon arriving at school. I awkwardly followed my dad, slightly anxious and not knowing what to do. He walked to a room, which I assume was the teachers lounge, and put on his yellow sleeping bag. 

“Hey, (Y/n), you should pull me to class,” He smiled creepily at me. I rolled my eyes, using vines which emerged from my arms to wrap around him and the sleeping bag. I dragged him out of the room and down the hall, following his directions until we reached a large door labeled 1-A. 

I stopped in front of the doors, grimacing as I heard the loud talking from inside and unwrapping dad. He stood up, ruffling my hair for reassurance. 

“Don’t worry. You’ll do great,” He smiled, the same creepy smile I’ve gotten used to. He flopped back down and put on an extremely tired face. “Go somewhere else if you want to play at being friends. This is the hero course,” He unzipped the sleeping bag, pulling a Go-Go Squeeze out and sipping from it, scaring the three students standing in the doorway. He stood up again, unzipping the bag and pushing it down. “Okay, it took eight seconds before you were quiet. Time is limited. You kids aren’t rational enough,” He paused, staring at the kids. “I’m your homeroom teacher, Shota Aizawa. Nice to meet you,”

The whole class broke out in murmurs. 

“It’s kind of sudden, but put this on and go out to the field,” The class made a collective sound that seemed to be a sound of confusion, but all eventually went to the locker rooms and changed. I went as well, dad handing me the gym uniform he pulled out of his sleeping bag. 

~~~

“A quirk assessment test?!”

“What about the entrance ceremony? The orientation?” A brown haired girl asked. 

“If you’re going to become a hero, you don’t have time for leisurely activities. U.A.’s selling point is how unrestricted its school traditions are. That’s also how the teachers run their classes.” His voice still sounded bored and tired, like he had just woken up. I shook my head at him, grinning slightly. “You’ve been doing these since junior high, right? Physical fitness tests where you aren’t allowed to use your quirk. The country still uses averages taken from results from students not using their quirks. It’s not rational. The ministry of Education is procrastinating.” He turned a little. “Bakugo, you finished at the top of the practical exam, right? In junior high, what was your best result for the soft ball throw?”

“67 meters,” A spikey blonde, the same boy from the sludge villain incident, responded. 

“Then, try doing it with your quirk,” The blonde walked to the circle and dad threw him a soft ball. “You can do whatever as long as you stay in the circle. Hurry up. Give it all you’ve got,” 

“Then,” The blonde stretched before winding up, and throwing. “Die…!” He added an explosion, fire swirling around him and following the ball as it flew through the air. The same green headed kid who had tried to help during the sludge incident questioned his choice of words and dad turned towards us. 

“Know your own maximum first. That’s the most rational way to form the foundation of a hero,” He held up the tracking device, showing 705.2 meters. The class, again, broke out into murmurs and chatter and a pink skinned and haired girl said the assessment looked fun. Big mistake. A black haired kid commented on being able to use out quirks as much as we want. 

“‘It looks fun,’ huh?” Dad started. “You have three years to become heroes. Will you have an attitude like that the whole time? All right. Who ever comes in last for all eight tests will be judged to have no potential and will be punished with expulsion,” 

“Huh?!”

“We’re free to do what we want about the circumstances of our students,” Dad pushed the hair out of his face. 

“Welcome to U.A.’s hero course!”

~~~

The brunette who asked about the entrance ceremony commented on how it was the first day of school and how it wasn’t fair. 

“Natural disasters, big accidents, and selfish villains. Calamities whose time and place can’t be predicted. Japan is covered in unfairness. Heroes are the ones who reverse those situations. If you wanted to talk to your friend at McDonalds after school, too bad. For the next three years, U.A. will do all it can to give you one hardship after another. Go beyond. Plus Ultra. Overcome it with all you’ve got,”

“All right. Demonstrations over,” He paused. “The real thing starts now,”

~~~ 

We started the quirk assessment test with a 50 meter dash. I used the air around me and managed to come right after a blue haired boy, whose quirk seemed to be engines in his legs, with 3.1 seconds.

Next was grip strength. I used vines to form a sort of protective layer and covered that with a rock glove. I used the gloves to help with the grip test and scored 325 kg. 

We continued through the tests. I either got a very good score or scored the best in the class. I used the air around me for the long jump, the air and the ground around me for the repeated side steps, and vines and the air to get the second highest score for the soft ball throw. 

“Okay, I’ll quickly tell you the results. The total is simply the marks you got from each of the tests. It’s a waste of time to explain verbally, so I’ll show you the results all at once,” Dad’s voice was still boring and tired sounding. His eyes were red and looked painful. I’ll make sure he takes care of it after the results. He used the last of his bottle after his intervention with Bakugo and that Izuku Midoriya kid.

Dad showed the result and I placed third, pushing Bakugou to 4th. Izuku Midoriya was 21st. 

“By the way, I was lying about the expulsion,” That was a lie. He saw potential in Midoriya and I can see it. “It was a rational deception to draw out the upper limits of your quirk,” Dad smiled for the first time since we’ve been around the rest of the class. 

“What?!”

“Of course that was a lie. It should’ve been obvious if you had just thought it through,” That’s not true. She obviously hasn’t heard about dad expelling an entire class. She would have taken him seriously and known it wasn’t a lie if she had. 

“With that, we’re done here,” Dad turned to walk away but I called out.

“Wait!” He turned back around and his eyes landed on me. 

“What, (Y/N)?” I ran up to him from my spot in the middle of the crowd and pulled a bottle of eye drops out of my jacket pocket. 

“Your eyes are red, dad,” I handed him the bottle. “This is a new kind. Tell me if it works better, okay?” 

“You got it kid,” He smiled at me, opening the bottle.

“Dad?!”

“Hmm?” Dad hummed. “Yeah, this is my kid, (Y/N) Aizawa. I hope you treat him well,” I smiled and bowed before following my dad. He stopped at Midoriya, handing him a pass and telling him to head to the nurses office. 

~~~

“Aizawa, you liar,” Dad and I stopped, turning our heads to look at All Might.

“All Might. So you were watching?” Dad turned his head away. “Too much time on your hands?”

“‘A rational deception’ you said?” All Might asked, not answering Dad’s question. “April Fools was last week. You punished a whole class of first years with expulsion. You cut those you judge to have no potential without hesitation. For a man like you to take back his words-- That must be because you also felt the potential in that kid, right?”

“‘Also’?” Dad questioned. “You seem to be supporting him quite a bit. Is that how a teacher should be acting?” All Might faltered. 

“I got it,” I put my fist to my palm, as an ‘I-Just-Had-A-Breakthrough” gesture. “You’re related to him in some way. You have some sort of connection and you were worried about him. That’s why you came to watch, isn’t it?” Dad gave me a look before starting to walk away. 

“His potential wasn’t zero. That’s all it was. I will always cut those without potential,” He looked down at his feet while he walked. “There’s nothing crueler than letting a dream end midway,” He said it as if he were saying it to himself. “Come on, (Y/N),” I bowed to All Might before jogging a bit to catch up to my dad, slowing when I reached him. 

[moniadler]

( margot robbie. twenty-nine. cis female. she / her. ) was that monika adler ? i heard a rumour they work for the faust family, but who knows for sure ? they can be a bit calculating & vindictive but i also heard they can be adventurous & ambitious. you’ll usually find them at wolves in their spare time, when they’re not being a caporegime & burlesque dancer at centro del sole. you may want to keep an eye on that one !

bonjour! it’s me again—your local trashcan chrissie with another muse. this is my precious angel ( more like a demoness, tbh but still ) bby girl monika and, to quote the legends that are queen, she’s a killer queeeeen. she’s sassy, classy and a lot badassy. she’s a rather feisty, fiery, ball of rage and anger with hella abandonment issues like woah. but uhhh, anyways, hmu for plots here or on discord, i’m open to everything and anything so fire away!

MONIKA’S PINTEREST BOARD!

fundamentals.

full name. monika odette adler.

nicknames. moni, mon, & nik.

current age. twenty-nine.

date of birth. august 15th.

gender. cisgender female.

pronouns. she / her.

nationality. american.

religion. agnostic.

birthplace. manhattan, new york city, united states.

current residence. chicago, illinois, united states.

sexual orientation. pansexual.

romantic orientation. aromantic.

education. psychology degree obtained from nyu.

past occupation. bartender, & dancer at genesis.

current occupation. burlesque dancer at centro del sole.

affiliation. the faust family.

rank. caporegime.

connections.

birth mother. unknown.

birth father. unknown.

sibling/s. unknown.

adoptive mother. rachael adler.

adoptive father. william adler. †

adoptive sister. lucy adler. †

adoptive brothers. jacob, & noah adler.

significant other. n/a.

child/ren. n/a.

pet/s. a balinese cat named tigger after the character in winnie the pooh.

proficiencies.

spoken languages. english, spanish, french, italian, german, & russian.

negative traits. brusque, obstinate, destructive, deceptive, & promiscuous.

positive traits. elegant, headstrong, observant, independent, & confident.

strengths. optimistic, energetic, creative, practical, spontaneous, rational, knows how to prioritise, great in a crisis, & relaxed.

weaknesses. stubborn, insensitive, private, reserved, easily bored, dislikes commitment, & has a rather risky behaviour.

skills. skilled with blades and various knives, skilled with firearms, hand-to-hand combat, memory recall, physical stamina, able to use initiative, & excellent problem-solving abilities.

talents. violin, piano, ballet, dancing, singing, bartending, & photographic memory.

appearance.

eye colour. blue.

hair colour. natural blonde.

height. 5′5″.

weight. 61 kg.

build. she is considered average height for a female and is both slender and toned.

scars. a rather noticeable one across her clavicle and a few others in less visible places.

tattoos. a crimson lily on her left shoulder.

piercings. both earlobes.

glasses. n/a.

prominent feature. sparkling sapphire eyes.

miscellaneous.

zodiac. leo.

strengths. creative, passionate, humorous.

weaknesses. arrogant, stubborn, self-centred.

likes. theatre, being admired, expensive things.

dislikes. being ignored, facing difficult reality, not being treated like a queen.

element. fire.

colour. gold.

day. sunday.

ruler. the sun.

lucky number. three.

house. gryffindor.

myers briggs type. istp-a ( introverted, observant, thinking, prospecting. )

alignment. chaotic neutral.

enneagram. type 7: the enthusiast ( the busy, fun-loving type: spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered. )

temperament. sanguine.

intelligence type. intra-personal.

character label. the vixen.

diseases. infertility.

past mental disorders. drug abuse, acute stress disorder, depression, & anxiety.

current mental disorders. addiction, & abandonment issues.

addictions. tobacco, cocaine, & alcohol.

vices. lust, greed, & wrath.

virtues. temperance, diligence, & humility.

allergies. penicillin.

diet. vegetarian.

dominant hand. ambidextrous.

accent. american.

blood type. o negative.

felonies. petty theft charge when she was fifteen. she also has a history of both kleptomania, & pyromania when she was a teenager.

vehicle. red 1966 shelby 427 cobra.

background.

( triggers for abandonment and abandonment issues ) in truth, monika isn't entirely sure where—or how—her story originated. well, minus the obvious: the birds, the bees, yadda yadda. whether or not her biological parents ever actually cared for her or loved her will remain one of life's greatest mysteries. at only one month old, she was discarded by those who gave her life; left abandoned and unwanted. a feeling the girl would grow up carrying around like a weight around her neck for the rest of her life. an incessant voice telling her she wasn't worth it, niggling at her every single time she would allow herself to get close to another human being. a dark shadow looming over her shoulder, whispering sinister thoughts into her ears—warning her that everyone would eventually leave in the end. they would always leave in the end.

( trigger for a mention of foster homes ) monika's earliest memories feature fragmented visions of various foster homes and the faces of many guardian figures; some good, some bad and some not worth even mentioning. that was her life for the majority of her childhood—bouncing from one home to another but never sticking in one place for too long. given her turbulent upbringing, she was somewhat of a difficult child. too boisterous, too unruly, too stubborn, too inquisitive. too much of everything but never enough of anything. never enough for anybody to want her. 

( trigger for a mention of adoption ) finally, after eight long years of being uprooted and thrown into new environments time and time again, monika was adopted by the adler family. and, from that instant onwards, her upbringing was mostly positive. of course, she was thankful and grateful that she had been welcomed into their family and given a good life. things could have been a lot worse for her and she knows that. still, it didn't take the girl too long to figure out that it was just her alone, against the big bad world. from the age that she was old enough to realise it, monika knew that she had to fend for herself—that she could never truly rely on a single soul but herself. rachael and william adler were the best family that she'd ever had. the only family that she ever truly felt she might have belonged to. the only family that she cared enough about to continue carrying their last name, even to this day.

however, once monika reached a certain age, her personality shifted south. she was outgoing as ever but soon became meddlesome, troublesome and much too outspoken. the hollowness inside her chest never quite satiated, leaving her empty and only too well aware of the lack of her real parental figures. as a young adolescent, this started to crawl under her skin and mess with her mind. it rendered her void of affection and unable to form genuine bonds with others—filling her with deep-rooted resentment that festered beneath the surface of the indifferent demeanour she plastered over herself every day. no matter what the adler family done, monika always felt starved of love. despite their best efforts, monika never felt fully satisfied—as if some integral part of her heart was missing, leaving a gaping void nobody could ever fill. thus, as a teenager, she started searching for a cure in the wrong places. she fell in with the wrong crowd, causing trouble for both herself and her family.

as a result of her out of control behaviour, monika found herself shipped off to an esteemed all-girls boarding school from the ages of fourteen to eighteen. once again, she felt as if she was being cast aside. admittedly, at first, it didn't seem so bad and although she took a while to settle in and adjust, it wasn’t long until the girl found her feet and made her mark. she had always been intelligent so it was no surprise that she excelled in her classes and extracurriculars. of course, true to form, she remained prone to rebellion every so often, but never enough to become detrimental. she had a small group of friends and the clique was rather close-knit and she finally felt she belonged somewhere.

( triggers for mentions of death, cancer, mental health issues, alcohol, and drugs ) however, as all good things do, they come to an end. in monika's case, those few blissful years reached a rather abrupt cessation—taking a drastic plummet into darkness. she was sixteen when her younger sister, lucy, tragically passed away after battling leukaemia. as a result, monika lost control of herself and of her path in life. she spent weeks alone and aimless, wavering on her tracks. she became isolated and withdrawn. she hid away in her dorm room that school year, only leaving to go to classes. she became quiet, reserved and wanted to be alone. after months of this—reverting to type—she went looking for stability in the wrong places once more. running with the ‘wrong’ crowd was simply something that came naturally to monika, as if she felt comfort in pressing the self-destruct button when times got tough. for her last year at school, she partied hard, drank way too much, experimented with drugs and with people and although these instances gave her a thrill, it never lasted too long. therefore, she continually crawled back to the things and the people she knew deep down was no good for her. but as long as she felt the high, nothing else mattered.

( triggers for mentions of death and huntington’s disease ) after she graduated, she moved back home to her adoptive parents and brothers, which, at first, felt as gloomy as she'd expected with the absence of her sister. due to her lifestyle in the final year of her education, monika's grades didn't quite cut it—not for her dreams of attending an ivy league university, anyway. after some consideration ( and the encouragement of her mother ), she attended night classes in order to obtain better grades before she managed to obtain a place at nyu where she studied psychology. but, once again, tragedy hit the adler's like a freight train. the summer before she left for university, her father passed away. while monika had always known that william's death was imminent given the fact that he had huntington’s disease, it didn't make the reality hurt any less. still, monika knew that life had to move on—as it always had—thus, she had no choice but to pack up her belongings and move to into her new home for the following few years: nyu campus.

during her university years, monika worked a lot of jobs around new york while visiting her family home on weekends. finally, once she graduated with rather impressive grades, she'd decided that her life was no longer tethered to manhattan. so, aged twenty-two, she packed up and travelled around the states for two years until, eventually, she wound up in chicago. in the beginning, she managed to get herself a job at genesis as a bartender where she met oliver faust ( without knowing his surname, of course ). completely clueless as to his prominence within the city, the two had a one night stand, seemingly never to see one another again. at least, until a year later.

after bartending in the club for quite some time, monika plucked up the courage to take her work a step further and take her place on the stage as one of the dancers. it was during this time that she met another faust member and quickly, the two became friends and through this friendship, only then did monika find out a little background information on the faust name. this faust member was the one who brought monika into the fold where she started as an affiliate. of course, you could imagine her surprise when she uncovered oliver's role as the boss—especially after a whole year had passed since their first encounter. regardless, monika felt secure and welcomed among the faust family, thus she was more than happy to work for them.

due to her no-nonsense approach and attitude, and her ability to handle herself whilst dancing, she found herself promoted to a solider. then, after ‘dealing’ with a target ( a regular at genesis who just so happened to request a dance from monika every night ) under the guise of an escort, the blonde was swiftly advanced to a crimson whilst continuing to dance at genesis. after maintaining the role of a crimson for a year, she climbed the ranks where she now remains a caporegime while now dancing at centro del sole. 

throughout her twenty-nine years of life so far, monika has built herself back up time and time again. with every punch swung her way ( both figuratively and literally ), she has risen to her feet each time. for as intelligent as she is, she is just as resilient and unyielding. the need to prove people wrong is almost overwhelming but never to her detriment. while she continues to bear the emotional scars of her past, monika refuses to write herself off. she allows herself to admire people, history, art, music, places, but she never grows comfortable enough that she is prepared to show even the people closest to her, her innermost, truest self.

as a result of her chaotic upbringing, fragments of monika are broken beyond repair—lost to the depths of her mind. yet deep down inside, the faintest sliver of that optimistic little girl remains. where she is now is precisely where monika wants to be and perhaps this is the exact path she needs to take in order to fully emerge from the ashes of her haunting past. from her teenage years, she easily fell under the bracket of an adventurous, charming, ‘party girl’ which hasn't altered much over the years. honestly, monika is content with playing this ‘role’ of a carefree, curious, typical blonde as she finds it helps with her work. after all, how unsuspecting does the pretty blonde dancer seem? not many people look at her and realise just how deadly she is underneath.

all in all, monika gets from one day to the other by dancing her worries away or drinking her problems out of her head. she rarely lets herself get attached to anybody and builds the highest walls around herself to ensure nobody wants to put the effort into trying to break them down. it's that little voice that's rattled around inside her head from childhood that has her this way—still telling her she isn't worth it. and she believes it. she believes that if she ever slowed down and stopped adopting her reckless lifestyle that the emptiness and loneliness would creep in and hold her prisoner. and if there's one thing that monika adler swears she'll never be, that's a slave to her mind or to anybody else.

some tidbits.

nicknames: monnie, moni, mon, nik, barbie, blondie ( if u wanna lose ur eyes ) … spawn of satan  >:-)

scared of goats. thinks they’re satanic creatures. those eyes are hella creepy, don’t even try and tell her otherwise.

her signature scent is chanel N°5.

she’s fearless af. throwback to her upbringing, most likely.

she’s all sweet smiles and charming words until her expression turns sharp and deadly. it’s her tactic to entice then pounce, if you will.

she loves to surprise people. most assume she’s a pretty blonde but oh, she loves the look of shock on their faces when she waves a knife at them.

in a way, her words are like her weaponry but really, monika would much prefer to point a gun in a person’s face. plus, it’s more efficient, she thinks. 

an angel of vengeance in a pair of designer sunglasses tbh. 

much prefers to be called a murderess / demoness as she believes it has a nicer ring to it rather than murderer / demon. she’s dramatique like that.

owns waaay too many pairs of heels.

her signature look is her blood-red lips.

often wears suits and totally rocks them.

she’s … experimental. she’s experimented with just about everything: hairstyles, clothing, drink, drugs, people …

quite power hungry tbh.

she does have a shot at redemption but she doesn’t want it lmao. she’s already been to hell so why bother trying to right her wrongs?

and boy, are her wrongs a century long list shkjsh.

doesn’t believe she’s capable of loving anyone.

when it comes to whether or not she is morally decent or an extremely bad person, she is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum—she isn’t heartless but she isn’t compassionate either. 

she’s v ambitious, v morally ambiguous, v self-serving and v self-involved.

extremely skilled with knives and blades. always her weapon of choice when on a job. always carries one on her person at all times.

although she wears a lot of red, black is actually her favourite colour. she feels her most powerful in an all-black outfit.

her most prized possession is her brushed chrome zippo. it has her initials engraved on it and where she got it or from who is something she’ll never tell.

always seen with a cigarette in hand. she seriously chain smokes. always says she needs to quit but never does and probably never will either.

when she was a little girl she’d always dreamed of having kids of her own one day and told herself she would love them unconditionally and never abandon them as her birth parents had but unfortunately, she is infertile and the likelihood of having her own kids one day is extremely slim. this is something that devastates her every day but you’d never tell. she has never told anybody about this.

drives way too fast but loves the thrill of it.

she can be pretty deadly if you piss her off enough.

thrives on chaos.

a tad theatrical.

is truly an independent woman who don't need no man.

plot ideas.

ok so pls excuse me and my last two remaining brain cells—we try real hard but it's tough skjhjks but gimme all of the connections from friends, frenemies, enemies, hookups, exes, rivals and everything else in between. added bonus if there’s angst or drama. if you have anything in mind feel free to throw it at me, i’m open to the majority of things and have zero triggers so come at me bro! below you can find some connections i’d love for my deadly bby.

the faust member who brought her into the fold. open.

her adoptive brothers. open and open. ( their names are listed as jacob and noah, but this can be changed if ya ain’t feeling those names! )

you’re a bad idea, but i like bad ideas. so, this could be somebody that monika knows through her dancing at genesis. maybe this gentleman pays for private dances and tips extremely well? i have an idea in my head that this man would trust monika and confide in her. in a way, she’d kind of act as a therapist for him and his paying for her private time would be more about talking than anything else. maybe over time, she would tell him things about her past or about the things she has done. maybe he could be somebody who, when he/if he realises she works for the fausts, asked her to take out a target for him. there are endless possibilities for this one! of course, added angst if he’s affiliated with a different gang. OPEN.

when friends become enemies. maybe this person and monika were friends from new york that she hung around with and got involved in reckless behaviour with. or maybe this person was someone monika befriended during her university years. or they could be someone that monika met when she moved to chicago. under whichever circumstance they met, one fact remains: the two are no longer on friendly terms. they were once close and trusted each other with anything but now, there is obvious hostility. perhaps there was a betrayal, blackmail, a breach of trust, lack of communication, a simple misunderstanding. whatever it was that cracked this relationship is set in stone and is unlikely to ever go back to how it once was. some things are just too broken to be mended. OPEN.

you’re in my veins, you fuck. monika has always had bad habits. has always gravitated to toxicity like a moth to a flame. thus, it would be safe to assume that 90% of her relationships have also been bad for her. the broken element inside her always found itself magnetised to the darkness in people. more especially, attracted to people she knew were no good for her. though, in the end, monika would always manage to break free and leave these people behind. however, there was always this one person she couldn’t seem to stay away from. she met them when she moved to chicago and instantly she knew they would break her heart yet it didn’t deter her from continuing to crawl back to them. these two have what can only be described as a toxic relationship. neither is good for the other yet neither can seem to walk away. OPEN.

if you don’t have enemies, you don’t have character. of course, it goes without saying that monika is the kind of woman who could make enemies for herself very easily. due to her sarcastic and distant nature, it would be safe to assume she has quite a few enemies and rivals. though this particular person would be the enemy of all enemies. somebody that she cannot abide and someone who cannot abide her either. they can’t stand the sight of each other and refuse to share the same space unless absolutely necessary. otherwise, there’s a massive chance of a fight outbreaking between them. there could be a history between them that has brought about their hostile nature toward each other. or they could simply dislike each other for no real known reason other than a sense they get from the other. bonus points if they’re walsh affiliated! OPEN.

a gal gang / her ride or dies. taken by amara ricci, & genevieve bisset.

a chance encounter / one night stand. taken by oliver faust.

[a-royal-obsession]

The Prince of Wales to the Queen

Rochester, 5 Jan. 1795

As I had intended to have return’d to London tomorrow & to have been at Windsor at Wednesday I cannot help troubling you with a few lines to acquaint you with my motions, as well as with every other circumstance attending this business, which I beleive I have invariably done from the very first commencement to the present moment. I arrived here on Saturday evening, & sent by the Admiralty messenger to desire that Payne would come here as soon as possible after he had receiv’d my letter, & this morning I receiv’d the enclos’dl letter from St. Leger. About three hours afterwards he himself arriv’d & acquainted me that Payne thought he should be sufficiently recovered from his fit of the gout to be able to come here the ensuing day, though he was afraid he should be too late, as he understood I had determin’d to set off for London tomorrow, wherefore I have determin’d to stay over tomorrow & have sent him positive orders to come here. Now, ma chére maman, we shall see whether he is consistent or not, as I am determin’d to probe him to the bottom and to put him to the severest test. I cannot express to you the vexation I feel at all the contradictions & plagues that have successively follow’d each other since first the business came upon the tapis, I own it requires more philosophy than I am master of to bear it with any sort of patience, & if it should happen, as I understand it is very likely to be the state of the case, that it will be impossible for some weeks anyhow to approach the coast of Holland, & still more so further north, I shall be quite outrageous, especially when I recollect that had my wishes been followed, the Princess would have been at latest here six weeks ago. I have just heard of a ship having run into Dover, her cables having been cut at the mouth of the Texel by the ice which was floating down, since which I have likewise heard of a smaller fishing smack which came in yesterday after cruizing for ten days at the mouth of the Texel & not able even to approach the coast, yet I cannot wish the squadron to set sail till it is quite safe, as it could be only encreasing delay & difficulties. However, I cannot help railing at my ill fated stars, though I cannot help feeling a very strong tacit reproach when I think I have so good a friend & partner in all my distresses, & that too in a mother, & that mother such a one also. I shall certainly be at Windsor on Thursday or Friday, when I shall acquaint you sufficiently with every other circumstance which would be needless to attempt in this epistle. In the meantime I enclose it to dearest Eliza, & remain [etc.].

The Queen’s reply

7 Jan. 1795

I kept the servant who brought yr. letter in hopes of learning some news as the post was arrived, & I have heard this morning that the Princess left Brunsvic on the 29th last month, that she travelled 3 miles that day, 7 on the next, & was at Osnabruck on the Wednesday, where Ld. St. Helens’ messenger stopt her, & if that had not been the case she would have been at Utrecht on Saturday. There is also some hopes of the French being drove back, which will make the coast clear. This last part I wish sincerely & hope to have it confirmed. The Dutchess & Princess Caroline have both wrote to the Kg., are very much satisfied with Ld. Malmesbury’s conduct, & seem all in good spirits.

I hope by this time you have made yr. mind easy about yr. seafaring people. It is what I do anxiously wish for yr. sake, as I know nothing so plaguing in life as an unexplained conduct.

Your expressions about me are very flattering & I do assure you that I feel them very sensibly. It ever has & ever shall be my study to deserve yr. good opinion, & if by any exertion of mine I could at this present moment extricate you out of yr. difficulties & procure what you wish to have, my inclination would lead me to do it unasked.

The change of the moon has done what you desired, change of wind, & thaw. We will now hope that Providence will bless all other operations & that I shall soon see you happy in the possession of the Princess which even you cannot wish more anxiously than [etc.].

Pray hurry the cabinet maker about the cabinets; everything is ready now.

[modern-oedipus]

Check-List for the Goals I settled for 2019

The funny mistake I’ve made earlier lead me think about what I’ve expected from 2019 when we started it. I found a list of the goals I made while we were entering the new year’s and here is a realistic evaluation of how it went.

• First of all, I wanted to manage my depressive episodes better. I wanted to have them less frequently. I wanted not to be absolutely crashed if a trigger hit me. Here’s how it went with a rough statistics (yes, because I’m a soon-to-be scientist, I actually made a graph of my own mood swings as if I am a test subject).

✔️ January was absolutely terrible for me. I had so much anxiety because of a toxic relationship and I wasn’t sure if I could ever live without that person. I failed two classes and withdraw a third one. I was super anxious about my internships. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be on the path I was and I was also having financial troubles. Also, one of my pet birds had passed away.

✔️ February was the month I truly felt like something in me was changing for the better. I felt like something clicked after the winter break— when I was, in a funny way, forbidden from consuming sugar for three days. I used to eat a lot of sugar/sweets to cope with my stress back then, to the point I still amaze at myself for not being overweight, plus size, or developing diabetes; because I really was eating too much sweets. But then I had a conversation with my father that feels unworldy, and combinated with the tree days no sugar diet and beginning of the new semester I suddenly felt like, even if I couldn’t fix everything, I could fix something. I had to start, regardless of how little. So I started by eating carefully— so significiantly less sugar consumed than I used to be, but I didn’t force it all at once. So if I were eating 3 brownies a day I decreased it step by step to 2 brownies a day, one brownie a day, and... At November 2019, it is probably a brownie once in 15 days. With even more pleasure than eating 3 brownies at once. (Don’t worry, I still let myself be free of eating whatever I want occassionally. I’m taking care of my health). Anyway. I started to hit up gym in my college for first time ever. I was so painfully inconsistent, but I knew that much was to be expected, so instead of getting angry at myself for not being a regular I just appreciated myself for going despite not being a regular.

✔️ March was a turnpoint. I decided to be bold enough to pursue my ex hobbies that I lost because of depression, one of them being writing. I’ve had a strong muse for Norman back then. I made a new account on Facebook. I knew no one, but to my luck I made so many friends. I drowned in NorRay ship with a very nice roleplay partner. I built new friendships away from the toxic partner of mine who was seriously causing a lot of damage on me. By the end of March we broke up and— surprise, my world didn’t end. I felt so refreshed, so alive, as if I was freed of my chains, and up until this day this feeling stands. I was more eager to pursue new hobbies, talk about my interests and do crazy shit instead of worrying my ex would think. I was happier. Much happier. This too, is still valid.

✔️ April was... unworldly. Because something that relates to my society happened as a big improvement and I was extremely positively surprised. This feeling is valid up to this day as well.

✔️ May... May was wild. I got kissed by a random stranger at the spring fest party. This fucking event lead me to write Conflict. Seriously. I built stronger friendships, online and offline, during this month. I felt truly connected.

✔️ June!!! June was so weird! It was my first break after one or maybe two years of depression. It was my first free holiday in which I didn’t reall feel like I was a waste of time, space, effort, money, etc. I got to walk around streets with a burden off my shoulders after so long. I got to look forward to the next days. The insecurities hit me up sometimes, but significantly less frequently, as I aimed in the beginning of the year. At this point I have had lost a good 5 kgs and had been eating very healthily too, and I was enjoying this new healthier lifestyle I adapted. This is still valid too.

Let’s examine June a little more carefully. At the end of the June I was going to go out of town to have an internship at a very prestigious university out of town. Which meant I had to stay in student dorms. I had no background about my field of internship yet. I was going to be utterly alone and I was freaking out about it. I’ve spent last week of June extremely tense because I don’t live in dorms normally and sharing a space with people and being alone at a professional place and things like doing laundry felt terrifying. But at the same time I was proud of myself because I’ve had always wondered how life would be living in a college campus, and this school I went was the best in my country equal to the university I am attending. Overall, it was prestigious and I was very excited.

Another important thing about June was that I’ve had written almost ALL of Conflict in my head with two of my roleplay partners eagerly listening to me and encouraging me whenever I plotted.

Have you noticed this?

My story was completed BEFORE I even posted.

At the end of June, a few days before I was about to leave for the internship, I had a breakdown. I had a bad breakdown. I had first draft of Conflict completed but I could never get to edit it. I could never get to post it. I didn’t even have an account. I didn’t really expect much interest in the story either, I just... I don’t know. I think I just thought, “Wow, this plot is so feelsy. I shouldn’t keep it buried in me. Maybe other people will love it too.” and I... kept Conflict waiting... for so long. Then I had a breakdown thinking I can’t do a fucking thing right and I’ll never get to post anything because I always let my “depression” take over it— which is a funny excuse because I wasn’t even depressed at June. Scared yes, but not depressed. I hate playing the victim. Objectively speaking, I wasn’t at my best but it wasn’t my worst either. Anyway. I left first chapter of Conflict linger there for a few weeks, hopeless that I could ever post.

✔️ Then comes July. I came to the internship city! It was AWESOME. I LOVED the campus, LOVED the experience, LOVED my field, and ENJOYED dorm life. I made many friends. I had roommates. I worked out more often. I went to sightseeing. I extended my network. I did A LOT of fun stuff.

On the first night I was at dorms, my two roommates were out. I didn’t know anyone yet. I had ONE night free to do anything. I was... in an awe. So I opened the documents. I looked at the pretty sight from my dorm room and I said, “Well, let’s do this.”

It was like a torture to finish that first chapter.

I had no expectations when I posted.

But oh my god, it felt like something clicked when I posted! Getting my story POSTED was a significant proof that I was SERIOUSLY moving on from the LAST traces of depression. It was something I created. It was MY productivity. It was ME. But in a way it was everyone. I felt extremely happy. Oh— did I mention Conflict is my first fanfiction?

Anyway, then I began to look forward to updating. Living in campus had it’s amazing advantages, such as no time wasted on transport, and ability to chill at coffee shops or 24/7 open library ALL NIGHT if I wanted. Which was wayyy less depressing than the environment of my house. I wrote. I felt super engaged. The simple fact that I could exist and produce something and have other people respond to it was something I could never imagine myself doing back on my depressed days. (But I could totally imagine this BEFORE I got in depression. In a way, I was back. I am still back. And I’m so grateful.)

I wasn’t only fooling around to write, though. I’ve been learning a lot. Experiencing a lot. Living a lot. It was amazing. I even binge watched Harry Potter with my roommate— and I hadn’t rewatched it before. (I had fucking forgotten that Sirius died, lmao.)

I also briefly fell in love again. It was a nice brief summer thing. Still think she’s amazing.

I need to go now, actually, so I’m abrubtly cutting this post off halfway to edit later. I don’t know what I earn by sharing this. I’m definitely not looking for attention— maybe you’ve realized it before but I give very little fucks about what people around me say (except for constructive critism). But somehow, I felt as if someone needed to see this. I don’t know that person. I don’t know who they are and when they are reading this. I just want people to know that there is an example of a girl who seriously changed a lot within span of a year by constant hard work, gentle-self-talks, and constant push-throughs even when she’s not motivated. Right now I’m far from being depressed nor suicidal, I’ve lost enough weight to dress up all bold clothes I LOVE to wear, I’ve built self-confidence, etc, as I will edit later. I just... want you all to know... even if this is not valid for everyone if you want something to happen you have to MAKE it happen. And it actually HAPPENS when you MAKE it happen. So, you don’t have to stay stuck in a bad cycle. You don’t even need a new year’s eve to do this. I started at february, see?

So do your best! I’m cheering for you!

Edit: I’m back. So point of this post was to check whether I’ve reached my goal of having less frequent depressive episodes. (Because I know I’m human and depressive episodes can hit ANYONE, so I didn’t have an unrealistic “I’ll never experience this again” expectation but I did have the expectation of “I’ll experience this maybe once or twice in a year, move on fast w/o unhealthy coping mechanisms and I’ll stay connected to LIFE instead of dissosciation” and I’ve achieved this.

A fast summary would be,

July built my self confidence at all aspects, from my hobbies to my career, my social skills to my curiosities. It was amazing.

August-September was vacation. One month of having a blissful vacation without feeling like a burden. One month of having full bliss. No depressive episodes not even once. I was regularly working out and I didn’t gain any weight even though I eat sweets and nice food everyday because of “holiday”. I went to a dietician in the end to find out my blood sugar is very healthy and my weight is normal now.

At the end of September & beginning of October I was nervous because of school, but I handled a lot better. I have done my best. I have truly done my best. I attended almost all lectures, I engaged in the material, asked all questions on my mind, went office hours, stayed active in newspaper, continued to hit up gym regularly, built more friendships, ALSO STAGED A THEATRE TEXT I HAVE WRITTEN LIKE THAT WAS AMAZING, and— and—

I don’t know, fast through November it doesn’t feel enough. I don’t know what I’ve honestly expected. But I expected to feel smarter or something, because science is hard shit. I expected better grades than this because I have honestly given it my all best. But the fact that my friends called me to reassure me made me really happy because one of my other goals was to build friendships and to think people, online and offline, check up on me makes me tear up. Especially when they are genuniely by my side as friends. It just feels so nice. So I’m feeling bittersweet.

I couldn’t lose any more weight since June, but I kept gaining/losing in some balance and I’m stable by now. My aim for February is to... lose 10 kgs in total— in a year. Which means I’ve got 4 kgs left to get rid of extra weight. I’m not really obsessed with body image, I’ve never been, but... What will I even do if I do not eat healthy and exercise? I mean, what’ll I even do? I like exercising and healthy eating. So I should just prevent stressful eating further so I can get rid of all the extra stuff. I’m already wearing all the pretty clothes I want and I do get stares because ;; idk they look cute I’m cute. Not in a narcissitic way. But self-love is important. I’m bi anyway, I do think girls are cute so since I’m a girl why shouldn’t I be cute as well?? A very feminine girl in fact, so like, hell yes, at least Nila can now wear whatever she wants and feels like she looks good on them so ONE OF THE MAJOR GOALS OF 2019 is fucking SETTLED!!

I’m planning to meet up my dietician again soon, and say that, “Look, I’ve come this far. Let’s lose 4 kgs in next 4 months. It makes 1 kg a month. Amazingly managable right? So guide me so I don’t ruin my health while thinning.”

So, I’ve managed my three major goals: Get rid of depression (learn how to burn it if it hits you); get a body you not only appreciate but feel genuniely HAPPY to be in; and built friendships and strengthen your bonds with people.

My two other major goals are incompleted, though. To cut it short, I wanted to get a better academic standing— from my first midterm grades I couldn’t really achieve that no matter how hard I tried, which is truly upsetting, but I have no choice but to go on. I love my major. I love science. I genuniely want to stay in this field. I don’t think I’m too idiotic to be a scientist. Sometimes I do think that, okay, but that’s a common thought in STEM majors. I do want to believe that what I work on will make a difference. It will have a meaning. So even though these results... are very discouraging to the point I felt really bad today, as if I could somehow, I don’t know, have a panic attack or something (I did not, I don’t have chronic anxiety or panic attacks or whatever, never experienced this). I just felt close to it, with increased heartbeat and feeling a bit dizzy and also very... imbalanced. But that’s probably because I didn’t eat well today, I unintentionally ate very little hence probably it exhausted me combined with bad news and saturday’s breakdown. Anyway. I have no choice but to go on, believing it will be better. My last major goal was to have a romantic partner, haha. Because I just want to. I mean, I don’t think I need to justify why I’d want a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I don’t think I worked hard for this goal lol. I mean, I didn’t go out of my way to reach people. I liked like... three people this year, I still like one of them, but... It didn’t... go far. That’s probably because I still haven’t completely shaken off my shyness and unwillingness to get out of my comfort zone.

In conclusion, I have achieved 3/5 of my goals, which is more than half of it! So good job! For the girlfriend/boyfriend part, I, haha, I may neglect it for this year I mean it’s dumb to date someone just because??? You want to date before year ends right??? I mean, I’m not exactly angry at myself for that because it’s not only in my control so I think I forgive myself for not achieving that goal.

Academics though.

Ugh, academics are extremely terrifying to me.

That’s one big thing I need to settle.

On the bright side I have— two months! Silly me thought I have just one! So... let me... work hard in these two months!!!! And I’ll update if I can get a better GPA this semester. And if I get a lover. It’s ok not to have lovers but at least let me keep the GPA high I BEG you.

I’ve got new goals settled for 2020. But I will focus on achieving my last two goals before the year ends (academics mostly) and... update!

I don’t know who needs to read this. But I don’t mind having my journey posted at this point. I still feel very uncomfortable talking about depression, actually. But it was my reality. Now that I truly moved on, I can talk about it and critisize myself for all good and all bad.

I hope, to anyone who bothered to read so long, it gave some hope. That things can get better. That you CAN make things better little by little. 2020 can be your year. Or you can start on this very day like I randomly started on February (I didn’t have a thing for February, I just so happened to decide).

I’ll always be cheering those who do their best to make a difference.

Stay safe and let’s work hard. ❤️

Disclaimer: Some of my kind hearted readers were worried about me because Conflict describes unhealthy mindsets. Don’t worry— more than half of them are not based on my real life experiences! I’m not self-harming (never did, don’t think I ever will), neglecting antidepressants (I never used any actually), have suicidal tendencies (well, that part was real but no longer valid) AND I DON’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE NORMAN/PETER sO Y’ALL CAN CHILL thank you for worrying about me I love you all

And I’ll be more than happy to be your goals-buddy if you want to change something about yourself as well!!!

[narutoocgallery]

I mostly want a full review of my character, You may publish if you like, i wouldn’t mind. :) Thank you!!

General

Name: Megumi Yoko

Age: (Part I) 12-13 (Part II) 15-17

Species: Human

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Blood Type: O-

Birthday: October 18 (Libra)

Personality: Peace loving, Elegant, Irresolute (very hesitant), Diplomatic, Idealistic, Avoids head-on arguments ( Just like how she fights lol) and Mellow

Good Trait(s): Diplomatic, Tactful, fair-minded, Peaceful, Calm.

Bad Trait(s): Detached, Indecisive, avoids confrontations, will carry a grudge

Like(s): gentleness, sharing with others, the outdoors, sweets, swimming, warm water/weather, the sounds of moving water, and Harmony.

Dislike(s): loudmouths, conformity, Dry areas, large social groups, Snow, Given to many opinions, Difficult decisions and Short range fights.

Hobby(ies): Swimming!, and Sewing

Fear(s): thunder/lightning, abandonment (or being alone), being forgotten or not remembering things, and being buried alive.

Strength(s): Water Areas (Ocean, Lakes, Rivers, etc) Water style jutsus, and Swimming,

Weakness(es): Lighting style jutsus, Strong Fire style jutus, Dry areas, and heat

Personal Quote: “…well ya know…”

History: (Sorry if this sucks)

Megumi was born in the hidden mist village, her mother and father were respected ninja of the mist. After Marriage Megumi’s mother was shortly pregnant And became a stay at home mom. Megumi’s father kept being a ninja and was away from home a lot, this was normal. One Afternoon when Megumi was 6 years old Megumi’s home was broken into by rough ninjas

Megumi’s mother was out-numbered and she knew she had no chance to live though this but she wanted to save Megumi. She hide Megumi away and told her to not come out no matter What she heard, Megumi was hidden in a closet ( if the rough knew about her or not they left her.) Megumi’s mother was killed, her body was left on the floor to bleed out.

Once it was quiet Megumi peeked out to only see her dead mother on the floor in a pool of blood. Megumi sat down next her dead mother, she was covered in blood but she seemed to have zoned out. She didn’t Leave her mother’s body until her father came home and pulled her away.

At the age of 8 Megumi started growing scales on her feet/legs. This was a passed down trait in her father’s family that skipped him but got to Megumi. She tried her best to hide them from everyone

at school and in the village but it wasn’t hidden for so long. The kids at her school found out about her scales and she became out casted and labeled as a “Freak”. This made socializing with others hard for her. She didn’t make a real friend until she was 12 and got put into a team with Yachi and Takeshi who became her friends.

Megumi’s Father wasn’t around as much as he wanted to, He had many missions he had to do and had to be away for long periods of time. Megumi’s father loved her without question and that is why he did so many missions. He always left her in the cable hands of the village elders who treated her better than any kids at school. Megumi had a hard time calling the elders her friends but they were all she had at that time.

Looks and Appearance

Body Type/Looks: Thin and Pale

Height: (Part I) 147cm [4'10] (Part II) 155cm (5'1)

Weight: (Part I) 33.9 kg (Part II) 39.8

Makeup/Facepaint: None

Hairstyle(s): (Part I) Long, Curly Purple hair tied up in a ponytail. (Part II) Long, Curly purple hair that is wore down and ends at her mid-back.

Accessories: Small Gord that holds Water/(part II only) Poison water.

Scent: Wet Strawberrys.

Scars or Tattoos: has some small cuts on her left forearm. (It’s always covered)

Jewelry and/or Piercings: None.

 Traits: Her Feet/Cafs are covered in scales, these help her swim and stay longer under water.

Relationships

Parent(s):

Ryuunosuke Yoko (Father)

About: Ryuunsuke is a respected ninja of the hidden mist, He is well known for his powerful Water wolf jutsu that he kept in his own family.  

Tomomi Yoko (Mother)

About: Tomomi was a beautiful women and was much liked in her village; She was once a powerful Ninja but stopped when she got married to Ryuunsuke Yoko; Soon after their marriage, She becomes pregnant. She has her first child; Megumi. As Tomomi was at home; their home was raided by thugs against the mist village. Tomomi was killed; She managed to save her daughter.

Sibling(s): None-

Relative(s): None besides mum and pops.

Best Friend(s):

Yachi (+Teammate)

About: Yachi and Megumi were put in team together, Over the years of fighting together they became best friends. Megumi trusts Yachi more than anyone else in the Hidden mist village.

Friend(s):

Takeshi (+Teammate)

About: Takeshi and Megumi where put together in a team; Trust was low at beginning because of Takeshi���s quiet and miss-trusting looks. But slowly they began to trust and get along better, the more missions they went on and they got to know each other.

Sensei(s):

Yori-Sensei:

About:  Yori-sensei is the ring leader of Megumi’s Team. Not much is known about Yori, besides that Is powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with kakashi of the hidden leaf.

Student(s): Megumi couldn’t teach a monkey to breathe.

Crush(es)/Spouse/Bf/Gf:

Gaara of the Sand.

About: Gaara and Megumi didn’t start out liking each other. Megumi was incurably scared of Gaara after his fight with Rock Lee and even more so when Gaara’s demon was unleased. Megumi avoided Gaara for a long awhile. Her fear disappeared when she finally saw that Gaara wasn’t the monster he used to be.

Megumi ran into Gaara (and his siblings) why out on a mission with her team. Her fear of him was still their but he proof that he has changed.

Rival(s): Nah.

Enemy(ies): nah.

Pet(s): No pets

Favorites/Least Favorites

Food(s): Namagashi (type of wagashi, which is a general term for snacks used in the Japanese tea ceremony.) Taiyaki ( “baked sea bream,” is a Japanese fish-shaped cake.)

Drink(s): Green Tea, Calpis Water

Color(s): Blue, Black

Season(s): Spring

Time of Day: Afternoon (2:00am-6:00am)

Weather: Semi-Summer with Clouds.

Flower: Dahlia

Animal: Wolf/Dog

Ninja Information

Birth Village: Hidden Mist

Current Village: (Part I) Mist (Part II) Sand

Academy Graduation Age: 12

Chunin Promotion Age: 14

Rank: (Part I) Genin (Part II) Chunin

Ninja Status: Villager

Are you in the Akatsuki?: Nah

Bijuu [Tailed Beast]?: Nah

Teammates: Yachi, Takeshi (Talked about in relationships)

Sensei: Yori-Sensei

Nindo: “Fight to be remembered.”

Chakra Element: Water

Weapon(s): (Part I) Kunai, Water (Part II) Kunai, Poison water

Jutsu’s

(Part I)

*Water Wolf Jutsu - Family/Clan based

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Vary

*Water Style: Wild Wolf Fang Jutsu- Family/Clan based.

Rank: C-Rank

Range: Long Range

Water Style: Raging Waves (Rank-C)

Rank: C-Rank

Range: Short to mid range

Ninja Art: Hidden Mist Jutsu (Rank-D)

Rank: D-Rank

Range: All Ranges

Water Clone Jutsu (Rank-D)

Rank: D-Rank

Range: All Ranges

(Part II)

Water Beast Jutsu ( X headed water wolf)

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Long Range

Water Style: Marine Battle Formation Jutsu

Rank: C-Rank

Range: Short to Mid Range

Water Style: Mount of the Serpent

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Long Range

Water Style: Poison Rain Jutsu

Rank: C-Rank

Range: Long to mid Range

Water Style: Poison Dart Jutu

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Long Range

Water Style: Water Whip Jutsu

Rank: B-Rank

Range: Short to Mid Range

Water Style: Black Rain Jutsu (??)

Rank: ??-Rank

Range: Short

NINJA STATS

1 - 5: Horrible

6 - 8: Below average

9 - 10: Average

11 - 13: Above average

14 - 16: Talented

17 - 18: Gifted [This is Sannin level]

Strength in Jutsu

Ninjutsu [ninja techniques]: (I) 11 (II) 13

Genjutsu [illusion techniques]: (I) 7 (II) 8.5

Taijutsu [martial arts techniques]: (I) 9 (II) 11

Kekkei Genkai [bloodline traits]: (I,II) 0

Doujutsu [eye techniques]: (I,II) 0

Kinjutsu [forbidden techniques]: (II) 2

Fuuinjutsu [sealing techniques]: (II) 9

Strength in Missions

Intelligence:(I) 9 (II) 11

Wisdom: (I) 7 (II) 9

Strength: Physical: (I) 8 (II) 9, Water: (I) 10 (II) 13

Agility: (I) 9.5 (II) 12 (she’s good at running away lol)

Dexterity: (I) 8 (II) 10

Stamina: (I) 7 (II) 9.5

Constitution: (I) 1 hit O.K (II) 4 (Can take a hit but not many, She’s a distance fighter.)

Charisma: (I) 4 (II) 7

Comeliness: Cute as frick (I think she is.)

Chakra Control: (I) 10 (II) 14 (She needs the chakra control for 90% of her jutsu,)

Cooperation: (I,II) 10 ( This doesn’t change much.) 

P.S Please take your time <3

General: 

Generally fine, with a few points to consider.

 a)      Her personality you describe as ‘peaceful’ and ‘calm’, which doesn’t sound like someone who carries a grudge. Also, someone who is indecisive wouldn’t make for a very diplomatic personality, I think.

b)     You can’t really like harmony but dislike conformity, as the opposites usually go hand-in-hand.

 History:

Again, generally fine, the level of violence and adaption to family life is realistic to Naruto. I like the idea of growing scales on the body. It’s a distinctive character trait – it’s a bit of a shame that you decided to cover them up in the character design – maybe as she gets older she becomes more comfortable showing them?

However, I’m not sure she would get bullied that hard over them. Biologically exaggerated Kekkai Genkais have been shown to be not uncommon in the Naruto world, and just having some scales on the bottom part of your legs doesn’t seem all that weird in comparison to be honest.

Also, why does her father leave her in the care of the village Elders specifically? You said the mother and father were well-respected in the village, but it doesn’t sound like they were actually on the council or anything, meaning there would be more convenient people to leave her in the care of; after all, Elders are busy people (I assume by Elders you mean members of the village councils – if you just mean older people in the village, disregard this last bit).

 Looks and Appearance:

Why does she smell of wet strawberries?

The biggest question here for me is how the leg scales help her swim/breathe underwater? If she had webbed feet I might understand that helping her swim, but scales wouldn’t do that. Also, scales wouldn’t affect her ability to breathe underwater – or do you mean just stay under the surface of the water? In which case the breath-holding thing would come into play again; most ninjas are trained to stay underwater as cover and hold their breath for a long time anyway. I can’t really see how this trait would help that.

 Relationships:

Family and teammates look nice and varied. Maybe put a bit more thought into her parents’ personalities and values? Many of these would be passed onto their daughter as they raised her.

It’s good that your character is consistently scared of Gaara; that’s good and realistic. Maybe think some more about how their relationship would develop past ‘her fear of him disappeared’.

 Justus and Abilities:

Well-balanced; she’s not overpowered and you have a good spread of abilities and ability progression. I assume many of the jutsus you mentioned are made up by you so I can’t really comment too much on that.

 Overall:

You obviously thought and planned out a lot about Megumi Yoko and it shows. She’s neither overpowered not overly weak. I really like her, but I feel like you could make her stand out a bit more. With a very introverted personality, it can be easy for these kinds of characters to feel less well-defined than others. Looking forward to where you take her from here :)

[ariadnasdiary]

Arino’s children: Áaron.

Character’s sheet:

First Name: Áaron

Japanese Name: Kyoya

Last Name(s): Koizumi “Martínez”

Kanji:  小泉 アーロン (not sure though^^’).

Áaron= “high mountain” Koizumi= “small valley” Martínez= derivates from the name Martín and means “from the war god: Mars”

Nickname(s):  

Áaron: just Áaron…his name doesn’t have a diminutive anyway. Kyoya: Kino gave him that name. Kino and Yuuri are the only ones that calls him by that name, since they can’t pronounce “Áaron”. Áa-kun / big brother: by Victoria

Sign:  Libra

Birthday: “October 23″ (the day he was found)

Age: 20 (Physically)

Status: Alive

Race: half wolf / half vampire

Ethnicity:  Japanese

Gender: Male

Height: 170 cm (5′7).

Weight: 62 kg (136 lbs)

Blood Type: A+

Eyes: golden

Hair: black, straight and messy.

Any scars, birthmarks, etc: a small scar on his left hip.

Occupation: 1st year college student. He’s studying finances.

Relatives:

Biological mother: deseased

Biological father: unknown

Adoptive mother: Ariadna Koizumi Martínez (alive)

Adoptive father: Kino (alive)

Younger adoptive sister: Victoria (alive)

Hobbies: fencing, videogames, swimming, cooking, riding his motobike and community service.

Favorite Food: Mexican food and Arabic food.

Fave Colors: grey and blue.

Skills: charming, persuasive, likes helping others, smart, hard-working, constant and he’s good at cooking.

Curious Facts:

knows how to cook really good

he’s really healthy and sporty

can turn into a wolf

uses contact lenses to hide his golden eyes

very organized, always carries a small agenda

extrovert, but gets tired of being surrended by people

hates being touched by strangers

observant

sarcastic

speaks Japanese, Spanish and English.

he decided to learn Spanish so he could pronounce correctly his name…plus it wasn’t like an option since Ariadna would scold them in Spanish when she was really angry.

likes to ride his motorbike

helps Ariadna a lot with the ghouls

likes little children

always carries a knife…to Ariadna’s dislike

Personality:

Strenghts:

smart

helpful

responsible

honest and direct

protective

Patient…with children

Weaknesses/flaws:

way too honest cold towards strangers sometimes has troubles controlling himself a little manipulative hates being lied and will know when someone does more under the cut~

Is not like Áaron is completly cold towards strangers…he’s very cautios with them. At first he’s just polite with everyone, but as time goes by he becomes more friendly and funny. Likes to make people laugh (just like his mother) and since he cares for his close ones, he’ll be honest and direct with them. Sometimes people think he’s mean and just like to point out their mistakes, but that is a sign he cares for them.

However, just recently has earned a bad reputation  in school for is his cold and mean attitude towards girls in general. He dislike girls approaching him and even though he’s polite with them, if they keep insisting on trying to talk to him or flirt he’ll snap and tell them to get lost and stop talking to him. That isn’t just in the human world, but also in the Mekai during balls and demon women try something with him.

Áaron know he’s adopted yet that doesn’t bother him at all. He was told when he was old enough to understand and since Ariadna never had preference over him or his sister Victoria, he never felt out of place. Ariadna devoted herself to Áaron and spoiled him before the arrival of Victoria, but it was Kino that place him in line by being strict with him. Áaron just as Victoria are trained so that one day they’ll be responsable of the ghouls when the time comes. Áaron likes interacting with the ghouls rather with demons of higer ranks, he bores acting polite and as a prince all the time, when he’s with the ghouls it’s different and he feel like he can be himself. Just as his father with his uncle Yuuri, he has a friend in the Mekai called Thomas.

He’s very protective over his sister, his family and friends in general. He’s grateful with his family, because they gave him another opportunity to live and have a family he was denied when he was born. If he feels his family or friends are in danger he won’t doubt to act. Sometimes if that means get physical he wouldn’t mind, and there was a time in which Áaron lost control and turn himself into his wolf form and almost kill somebody that was threatening his  friend Thomas. He once got in trouble as a child by punching a girl in the stomach, since she was talking shit about the ghouls.

Other than that…he’s pretty smart and knows when to act.

Background:

Áaron arrived to Ariadna’s and Kino’s life after six years of marriage. During that time Ariadna and Kino tried having children of their own, but never succeded. Ariadna felt really sad that she couldn’t have a baby and so dedicated herself to help the ghouls. During one night, they heard an explotion in a nearby village. Ariadna sneaked out the house to see what happened and when she got there she saw a huge catastrophy. The houses were on flames and no one seem to have survived. Yet Ariadna heard the cry of a baby and when she follow it, she found a woman from the wolf clan in a terrible state. The woman was the baby’s mother and had used her own body to shield her baby. Yet a group of rebels found them and since the baby was the product of an unwanted relationship, the rebels were ordered to kill him and all witnesses. The woman before dying asked Ariadna to take care of her baby since he was supposed to be dead, she died assure and happy her baby would be safe.

As time went by no one seemed to claimed the baby and Ariadna couldn’t help but getting attached to the baby as her own desire to be a mother. Kino wasn’t very keen of the idea, but Ariadna convince him since they themselves couldn’t be parents. Ariadna spoiled Áaron and was so patience and loving that soon people truly believed it was her actual child. Three years later Victoria arrived showing that Ariadna and Kino indeed were able to conceive, but no one knows why they couldn’t earlier.  Áaron was fascinated with Victoria and might be the reason as to why he developed a liking to children.

Time passed and Áaron grew as a normal boy and met his girlfriend Kyoka, a human girl which he loved dearly… until the day she passed away due to a terrible accident. Since then Áaron understood why demons and human shouldn’t bond and decided to never get himself into a similar situation…besides no one seems to be like his beloved Kyoka and that’s for the best. From that day forward Áaron became more protective over his family but mostly over Victoria which is very naïve and reckless sometimes…he needs to constantly save her from some situations. Ariadna still hopes for the right girl to break down Áaron’s walls and heal his broken heart.

If you were wondering…yes, Áaron looked for his biological father, but only Ariadna and Áaron knows what happened. Áaron hated finding the truth, but decided it was for the best to forget about it. His life was difficult enough as to make it harder.

Relationships:

Victoria: unlike his sister he knows how to behave and not to stand. He’s always sent to look after his sister and saves her butt whenever gets in trouble. Best friends, he knows everything about her and seems to be the only one that completly understands her…teases her nonstop and won’t hesitate to tell her the crude truth. Hates that she always has a “friend” that only uses her to try to get close to him, but he always know how to identify them and tells them he isn’t interested and to leave her sister alone.

Ariadna: EXTREMLY CLOSE TO HER. Don’t mess with Ariadna or you’ll get in trouble. Since he has memory Ariadna is loving and understanding with him. He admires her: not only raising two children, while himself wasn’t even hers, but helping the ghouls and finally working. She always makes time for them and he knows she’s always for him, he always go for her for advice and was his support during his process of healing.

Kino: At first Kino was a little distant with Áaron and was constantly alert, since he thought Áaron was like some kind of bait to harm Ariadna. Once he saw Áaron literally had no one left, he started to warm up. When he was little he spent a lot of time with Kino, yet Áaron chose Ariadna in the end. He was strict with him and during his “difficult time” he always put him in line. Although Kino was the one that introduced him to the videogames and encouraged his liking for motorbikes…by accident to Ariadna’s dislike. He goes to him when is something men to men related stuff. Kino still tries to convince Áaron to name him his favorite.

“Áaron: give up dad…You have Victoria already!

Kino: It doesn’t matter! I’m better than your mom.

Áaron: Nah~ Mom is cooler

Kino: Who was it that bought your motorbike?

Áaron: Are you blackmailing me? Btw it was mom~

Kino: But thanks to whom you start liking them?

Áaron: If I’m not incorrect mom still doesn’t forgive you for that idea…I think you shouldn’t presume it in front of her ¬¬“

Girls: STAY AWAY FROM HIM IF YOU DON’T WANT TO PASS FOR A BAD MOMENT. Ariadna always got angry whenever she was called due to his bad attitude. She made him promise to improve and if she was ever call again she would sell his motorbike specifically to a girl.

Yuuri: He sees him as an uncle and he’s greatful for him being around all this years with his parents. He admires his patience and loyalty and helps him cook whenever he cans.

Any of his cousins: He’s the cool cousin~

“Want to go to a party? Cool I’ll take you”

“Want to have a ride? Sure, I don’t mind. But ask for permission, it’s annoying dealing with angry parents”

Children: Áaron has a weak spot for children…something unusual and contradictory.

“random little boy: Áaron! Someone is bulling me at school!

Áaron: who is it that is bothering you? *takes out his knife* Just show him this and problem solved~

Ariadna: Áaron! what the hell are you doing?! Be a good example!

Áaron: It was a joke mother ¬¬

Random little boy: I’ll tell them I’m your friend and he’ll leave me alone!

Áaron: That works too…”

END.

*Mun Ari: That’s it! So yeah~ technically you are now welcome to ask Áaron whatever you want~ I think I have issues since I can’t help myself to write some tragic and drama…LOL ^^'

[flipomatic]

Reason to Stay: Chapter 10

Author Note: I wrote this chapter while on the plane to Chara.

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

The next morning Sayo had guard duty once again. She was able to find the right schedule in the guard headquarters since there was only one sheet with her name on it. Unfortunately, that would only last for the first week. It had Sayo marked for the 8:00-12:00 shift, so she made sure to show up in the tower right on time. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a guard there to relieve from the previous shift.

Sayo took her post in the early morning sun, looking out over the city as it woke up for the day. On the top of the walls, things were quiet. Just like the day before, there was no trouble.

The shift soon passed, sending Sayo off to her second lunch in the castle. Today’s meal was a chicken dish of some kind; Sayo wasn’t quite sure what it was called. She sat at a different empty table than before, but still ended up with the same group of people. They surprised her when they sat down, but it wasn’t terrible to eat with other people. She mostly listened to their conversations, specifically to Lisa and Ako who talked the most in the group.

After eating, it was time for Sayo to head to the kitchen. She already knew how to find it since she’d been there a couple times before, which was good. She hoped nobody there would remember how bad her potato cuts were for the party.

When Sayo entered the kitchen the same five people were present as before, including Tsugumi and Saya. Tsugumi looked up when Sayo walked into the room, brown eyes widening.

“Oh, hi Sayo.” Tsugumi hesitated in the middle of a chopping motion, but quickly resumed moving. “So this is what Ran meant by a surprise.” She murmured under her breath.

“What was that?” Sayo couldn’t quite hear her and asked for clarification.

Tsugumi smiled sheepishly and shook her head. “It’s nothing.” She waved her free hand in a dismissive manner.

“Alright.” Sayo wasn’t going to push for a better answer. “I’m here to help out. I’ve been assigned to the kitchen for a couple hours each day.”

“That’s great, we could use the help.” A smile graced Tsugumi’s face, and Sayo was struck once again with how disarming this woman managed to be without even trying. “Could you get a few sacks of wheat from the storehouse? It’s near the stables.”

Sayo nodded, already plotting the directions to the stable in her mind. “I’ll take care of it.” She said before turning and exiting the kitchen.

The stables were on the other side of the dining hall, in the southeast corner of the castle. It only took Sayo a few minutes to arrive there, and once she did she had to locate the storehouse. She tried a few doors in the hallway that connected the stables to the rest of the castle.

On the third door she found some of the stored food. It consisted primarily of dried crops, with a large portion being wheat. The sacks were about 50 kg each, so Sayo could carry them one at a time.

She grabbed one and got to work, hauling them one by one to the kitchen. Tsugumi told her where to stack them, so she made a pile.

After five trips, Sayo was sent to get water from the well. It was on the west side of the building, pretty close to where Ran’s office was. The kitchen had their own special bucket for fetching water, which Sayo carried with her back and forth to the well. All of that archery training gave her strong arms, though it didn’t stop her from feeling fatigued from the work.

After fetching enough water for what the kitchen needed, Tsugumi didn’t have any other tasks for her.

“Thanks for your help.” She said after Sayo brought the last bucket of water. “You’re all set for today.”

It had only been a couple hours, so Sayo still had time remaining before dinner would be served. It had been a few days since she trained; maybe that would be the best way to use her time. She remembered seeing people sparring in the courtyard before, but they turned out to be the princess and her personal knight so it probably wouldn’t be a good place to train. Before she left, maybe she should ask Tsugumi?

“Do you know of a place to train within the castle?” Sayo asked the head chef, standing nearby as she cooked something in a pan.

“Umm, I don’t.” Tsugumi shook her head, turning to her other staff. “Saya?”

Saya was in the process of kneading some dough on a nearby counter. “I think there’s a training field just outside stable gate. At least, Tae has mentioned it before.” Tae, was that the same person as Otae? Sayo wasn’t sure, but whether it was in or outside of the castle this training field sounded like it would work.

Sayo thanked the pair of chefs and went on her way. She walked back to the stables and exited the castle through the stable gate. She’d been in the castle for over 24 hours; it had been a long time since she’d stayed in one building for so long.

Once outside of the castle, Sayo looked around for the training field. She had ridden past here when they went to find the bandits, but she hadn’t taken a good look around at that time.

Just to the east of the exit there was indeed a large open field that would be good for training. There was also an unexpected boon. Next to the training field was a small archery range, with a handful of targets set up and some wood booths for archers to stand in. Considering that by their own admission the castle didn’t have many archers, it was an odd find.

Sayo walked over to it with a slight spring in her step, stopping at one of the stands. The target was a good distance away and over flat land; this would be a good place to practice shooting.

She drew her bow, notching an arrow and aiming down the range. Sayo inhaled, and then released. The arrow hit in the second ring on the target; not bad but not good either. She had gotten rusty.

Sayo continued to fire her arrows, retrieving them after every ten shots or so. She worked closer to the center of the target, regaining the muscle memory and skill that had been lost. Despite improving through practice, her shots were never perfect, never reaching mastery.

She tried not to let that bother her, but it always did.

When another person appeared in the stand next to her, Sayo didn’t look over at first. She assumed it was someone else from the castle or a person who lived in town.

They weren’t very good, she thought as she saw some of their shots miss the target completely. Others landed, but in the outer rings of the target.

It wasn’t until Sayo had to go collect her arrows again, and thus had to ask the person to stop shooting for a minute while she collected her arrows, that saw who it was.

As it turned out, Lisa the knight was terrible at archery. When Sayo looked over and saw her, she almost choked on her spit. This Lisa was the same Lisa who led the charge against the bandits and was a menace with the short sword and shield. She also couldn’t hit a target with a bow.

Sayo withheld her comments about Lisa’s archery skills, instead just politely asking her to stop while she collected her arrows. Lisa agreed chipperly, seemingly unbothered by her own incompetence.

After Sayo collected her arrows they both resumed shooting. She spared a glance over at Lisa as she took aim, grimacing at the knight’s posture.

She tried not to let it bother her.

Sayo failed at that. She ended up packing up and heading back to the castle.

Scene 12:

As the next week passed Sayo fell into a routine. She located and read the schedule each morning. Then she’d either go to the tower for guard duty or head to the kitchen to run errands. After the first four hours of the day she’d go eat lunch with the same group of acquaintances, managing each day to refrain from mentioning Lisa’s poor archery skills.

Once lunch was over, she’d swap to the opposite activity, which filled the remainder of her day. She always had extra time after working in the kitchen, so that was when she fit in some training.

On this particular day, one whole week after Sayo moved into the castle, she finished up her kitchen duties with a couple hours to spare. She had purchased some vegetables from the market that they needed for the next day, trying her best to get a good deal on the price.

Sayo was getting ready to leave when something Tsugumi was making caught her eye. Usually she was making some kind of meat or vegetable dish, but this seemed to be something else. It looked like a pastry of some kind. Sayo almost didn’t ask, almost decided she didn’t have time to care.

“What are you making?” Perhaps she cared a little.

“Sugar cookies.” Tsugumi replied as she added additional ingredients to a bowl.

Sayo watched each move Tsugumi made. “It looks complicated.” She commented, having never attempted to make cookies before.

“The recipe makes things easier.” The mixture thickened as Tsugumi stirred it. It was intriguing to Sayo in a way she couldn’t explain.

“How does that mix become cookies?” Sayo asked, unable to resist.

Tsugumi looked down at the bowl, nodding once at her mixture. She grabbed a tray and scraped the dough out onto it, making one large lump. “Once I flatten it, I’ll cut it into shapes and bake it. Those are the last two steps.” She picked up a rolling pin and started rolling it over the dough, pushing it down into a flattened form.

Sayo watched her work. “That’s amazing.” She said, wanting to suck the words back in as soon as they came out of her mouth.

Tsugumi’s cheeks dusted pink as she deflected the complement. “They’re just normal cookies.” She finished rolling and started cutting the dough into standard round shapes. Once that was done, she separated the individual cookies and put the tray into the stone oven.

As Sayo listened, she realized that time had passed and she was still standing here in the kitchen. She had training to do, and as pleasant as watching Tsugumi bake was she needed to get going.

“Thanks for showing me, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Sayo ended the conversation as she prepared to leave.

“See you then!” Tsugumi returned the farewell with a smile.

As Sayo left, she hoped that the cookies would be served with dinner. She was sure they’d taste delicious.

Her destination was the training field outside of the castle. Sayo had spent the last week re-honing her archery skills, but her swordsmanship had suffered in the process.

The field was thankfully empty, so no one would see her awful forms. She drew her sword and started her drills, moving between strikes stiffly.

She’d been running the drills for about ten minutes when her practice was interrupted.

“Hey Sayo!” Once again, Lisa had appeared in the practice areas around the same time as Sayo. She’d shown up multiple times over the last week to practice archery near Sayo, though unlike Sayo she didn’t seem to be making any progress. “Not doing archery today?” Lisa carried her bow and arrows.

“No, not today.” Sayo paused in her forms to reply, before quickly resuming.

Lisa didn’t seem to take the hint, approaching even as Sayo continued her drills. “Do you have a minute to talk?” She asked.

Sayo sighed. “I guess.” She said, holstering her sword and turning towards the knight. “What do you need?”

“I was wondering, since you’re such a great archer.” Lisa spoke with a smile, likely meant to be disarming. “If you would be willing to help train me in archery.”

The idea didn’t sound too appealing at first thought. “Why?” Sayo asked, looking for more details and perhaps a reason to accept.

“You probably noticed, but my archery skills are not exactly the best.” Lisa had the dignity to look embarrassed by this fact. “In order to be a better knight and help Yukina, I need to improve.” Her expression softened when she mentioned Yukina.

Sayo wasn’t that impressed. “Not to be blunt, but how will that benefit me?” She wasn’t willing to devote her time to a futile effort, especially when she wasn’t getting anything in return. Nobody here was paying her to train archers.

“Hmm.” Lisa tilted her head thoughtfully, a catlike smile on her face. “I could train you in something in return.” She suggested with one eyebrow raised. “Perhaps in the sword and shield? Yukina is strongest with the two handed sword, but I’m the best shield wielder in the castle.”

This proposition Sayo was willing to listen to. Her own sword work left lots of things to be desired and she wasn’t trained at all to use a shield. Just knowing how to carry and use a shield would increase her life expectancy dramatically. Even if Lisa never improved with the bow, Sayo learning how to use a shield and better her sword work would make it worth it.

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” Sayo reached out for a handshake, which Lisa accepted.

“Great!” Lisa said as she shook Sayo’s hand firmly. “Want to start today? We can work on those forms you’ve been practicing.” Sayo stepped back, releasing Lisa’s hand.

This partnership was already paying off. “Alright.” Sayo redrew her sword, taking her starting position.

“Before you move, let’s adjust your stance.” Lisa closed the distance between them, pushing Sayo’s sword hand up higher. “Keep this hand up, always.” She then backed away and Sayo started the drill.

For the next hour Lisa guided Sayo through improving her drills, with Sayo making some progress in her stance.

When it became time for dinner they stopped for the night, agreeing to work on Lisa’s archery the next day.

Next Chapter

[kaoarika]

Late night (early morning) vent-talk again~

It’s the... 4th month of the di*et (my next appointment is on the 16th). Miraculously, and because of my own strict behavior about it, I am around 70-ish kgs as we speak. Last month was hard, though...  as I found out the hard way that I cannot stand/process some food anymore :’D

I don’t know how to explain this? It’s probably me - I have a very high memory of flavors. Maybe that’s why I often crave certain food I haven’t tasted in a while (especially sweets), so... the medicine is definitely doing something to me, as it has also decreasing my appetite... and I’m constantly not wanting to eat much. 

So, the memory activates as I start eating... but I become nauseous. Also could be because routine and because i’m abhorrent to keep eating the same over and over... but even so, we did eat in a routine before all of this, but I never became so abhorrent of it or nauseous.

It all started with grinded meat. And because I am not able to eat other vegetables that are not green atm (so not grinded meat with potatoes and carrots), nor burgers (because buns and ketchup)... the taste becomes... awful in my mind. One day, I literally couldn’t anymore and... well, it went as well as you can imagine that.

My mom stopped buying grinded meat, btw, because I just couldn’t eat it anymore.

And then... pretty much recently...

Cabbage soup, some chicken in a certain way it’s prepared... and much more lately... I don’t feel hungry. Well... more like I don’t have that much appetite anymore. I’m probably eating not well, either... I just end up eating a hardboiled egg, or tuna, or strawberries/blueberries (and letting a low-carb cookie). I cannot feel “enjoyment” eating other veggies. Or ham or sausages (and my trick with the later is that I have to put it some mustard and ketchup to make it feel like I’m eating a hotdog).

Sure, this goes without saying - I have been cheating the diet too. I just simply cannot NOT eat carbs nor sugar - my system is pledging for that. AND YES, I’m conscious that once I receive the maintenance diet I will eat that again in a measured way. Last month I ate some tacos... tamales (and so I did last week); we ate pizza two weeks ago (and it was just two pieces of a “big” size) AND then there was the ice cream...

Like I have previously detailed, it’s not like we eat these frequently. Probably... it’s a 3-4 month thing with each. 

I still lost 3-4 kilos before last appointment, even if I was genuinely worried I wouldn’t do that. But the doctor wanted me to lost another 8 kgs. Even though I genuinely don’t want to go through this anymore. She genuinely asked me if I wanted to keep going... for another two months (let’s say my last appointment for this is on November) but couldn’t say no. Ugh, what the hell, me.

Ah, to think this diet was going to be 6 months long... suddenly cut to 3... and then extended to two months more.

I think the thing that is worrying me the most is the fact I’m not really eating the way I should do. It’s supposed to be healthy... yes... but I’m really not eating much. And I feel nauseous at times when I shouldn’t be doing that.

“It’s the medicine”, Okay, I accept that. “The medicine knows when you are eating carbs”. YES, I know... but I had a stomachache that would take time to pass. Not genuinely making me feel sick when I am ABOUT to eat. Or when I’m EATING something. And heck, I sometimes “sneak” a cookie because my body NEEDS some carbs, it shouldn’t be like THAT.

I mentioned this during the last appointment and it was brushed aside with no further solution or comment :’D

Fortunately, my blood analysis says that I’m all good. But my other studies say “okay, you still have this x amount of fat in your body... and, for some reason your muscle is a bit lower than you are supposed to have” And, okay, that’s understandable... “you should exercise more annd probably walk more... there’s this alternative you can buy to stretch your arms and the like”.

She also mentioned that since I’m still young, and I have been losing almost 30 kgs in four months, the skin I have left from my fat-self (I do still feel chubby... not saying that as a bad thing, however) can still be “pulled back” w/o surgery (it’s not much, tbh). I don’t know if she was... shaming me in a way? (would be? w/o bad intentions, probably?) Especially since it’s making me very selfconscious of stuff that I shouldn’t be so conscious around. UGH. Maybe it’s a thing of my arms... and my thighs mostly... so I will be using sashes soon or later.

(I like her “enthusiasm” of saying “these things are so cheap!” “500-ish pesos cheap” it’s 26 USD more or less... still not so cheap in my mind).

Other “minimal issues” I’m having, and excuse my sense of tmi. My period process apparently was never okay and I was never informed of that before (the more specific word I search is “taught of this before”. Since I have been “normalizing” my own hormones and the like... it’s like having my first period again of sorts *lays down*. Like... it was never a very regular thing, it could arrive early or late... and then all of sudden when I start becoming “okay”, I have some blood coming out a week or two before the period even starts. “IS this even okay? Is this what “ovulating” really means? Cleaning the tubes?” and it’s somehow embarrassing to confess. Summer was also like hell here.

In unrelated news, but offtopic, because this was a thing that crossed my mind recently-  I was kinda proud I was already reaching Suba’s “old” weight of 72 kgs... and then he confirmed on Friday he is 90 kgs and it looks he is still gradually figthing to return to that weight sooner or later? Or he looks somewhat fitter because he is doing smth else???, :’))) 

*Kao cries because she is kinda proud  of being at least something lighter than her bias now...*

*also, mindful reminder that I really don’t have any problem with how he looks right now... in fact, and ngl, he looks somewhat “fitter” than he did last year. I also like he looks squishy sometimes /)////(\ 

[dezeriell]

Hi There!

I thought I would make it to post my other blog post before this, but I had few days less than expected as my baby did come earlier. As from my other post you might know that I had less fluid in my cervix. 39th week – I already had more contractions and I was bleeding again. As long as I still remember everything I wanted to write down how my labor was, as it really was not easy for me!

(this is like a remembrance for myself too..)

19th of June 2018

I left the house for check up, somehow I knew it’s going to happen very soon. The days before I have been in contact with the hospital already as I was bleeding which they said is normal as my body is preparing.

The heart of baby Aria was doing good and the movement of the baby was also fine. They could still not tell where the blood came from and the placenta could not be seen on the ultra sound as usual (there will be a point on this after birth!!) Telling the doctor about what happened the last days and how I feel, they decided that I should stay there and I shall get induced later in the afternoon. I had lunch, informed my boyfriend and then I walked up to the labor room.

ca. 3 PM

I was prepared and got this needle thing in my hand (for the IV) and was checked with the CTG again.

4:30 PM

I got this medication to induce the labor. It looked like a tampon which was actually the strongest of all medication, but was suggested by the doctor.

5 PM

My boyfriend arrived with the hospital bag and we had dinner and we went for a walk outside and facetimed with my family in Berlin.

  9 PM

We had to go back to the room for the first check up.  I already felt the pain coming. While walking I already had contractions.

9:20 PM

The first real contraction came along… I was laying in bed already and breathing it away. This was still fine. I was about 1 cm dilated. Another midwife came in for the night shift.

10 PM to 12:30 AM

This was the most extreme time I had in labor, except the birth later on. I was in such pain, I had very strong contractions around every 3 minutes which shoot up high so fast that I was like having an electro shock every time. This is what I heard that contractions with inducing are very different to natural contractions. I don’t remember everything only that I was crying and said I can’t do this. I was only dilated 3 cm and still had to go on for the next 7 hours this way?! I was like nooo!! Screaming into the pillow trying to breathe and hanging myself on this rope that was attached to the ceiling. It really took all of my energy and I was so in shock about this pain. I knew that it will be very different to what I have ever known in my life and I needed to go through this. My baby was doing fine and already in position moving down. Then I asked for some pain reliever as I just wanted to have a break from this pain. It held on for like 2 contractions… I asked for something stronger. This was also injected and it held for like 3-4 contractions, but then it went on again. I still tried to breathe it all out with each contraction with the midwife. I was asking for a PDA, but then I was explained maybe to keep it this way and more naturally or the next option was laughing gas. My boyfriend was like – the PDA they will put a needle in your back.. I was like yeah I know I just want this to stop until I give birth and was begging. I couldn’t even finish a sentence in that hour. They gave me the laughing gas and I really hated it. It made me feel high and like I am losing my mind. Every time I was breathing it in I should breath it out in the same thing..it made me feel having asthma. I just remember moving my head around eyes closed, crying.

  12:30 AM

Next step – PDA! Finally the anesthetist came in and explained everything to me and my boyfriend – with some breaks as I had contractions. She just came from another room where some else got the PDA too. I was hold together by my boyfriend and the midwife so I won’t move during a contraction. The whole procedure was done and after around 5 minutes I could tell the difference!! I was me again and could speak out whole sentences.

  1 PM to 5.30 AM

My boyfriend and I could finally take a rest. I was still checked every hour. I had an IV with something to hydrate me and I had this little remote to press the button if the pain comes – there was another bag hanging for the IV. In between I had to change positions and we were good as I was dilated like 8 cm already. I was bleeding which they said is normal. These hours saved my life I thought.. it was an unreal feeling, but I knew I am about to see my baby.

  Around 6 AM

My boyfriend was awake, I was dilated 9 cm and they were about to get everything ready for birth. I was explained that there will be a certain pressure and its the contraction. This is what we need to work with for pushing, but I will be told later on.

6:30 to 7 PM

I was fully dilated. Another midwife came in for the morning shift. I was about to push and concentrate on the pressure what I was explained and to move on giving birth soon. Now here comes the shocking point or disappointing moment: I was given medication per IV to get the contractions back. Pushing on the button against the pain from the PDA didn’t work anymore and nobody reacted to that. I was completely in pain as I was before just worse and as my baby was already deep down where my pelvis was stretching. I was back on trying to hold it, trying to be strong, but the pain was so extreme through this medication that I couldn’t concentrate on my baby, on breathing and pushing. This was horrible. At the same time so disappointing as I was told different and then this happens. For what did I let someone stick a needle in my back when this was not the purpose not to have all this pain while giving birth??

7:30 AM

I was pushing and pushing..then I was told to leave out pushing for maybe 3-4 contractions.. just breathe!  They had a meeting with the doctors and we had to wait. The pain got worse. Then an assistant doctor came in to check and make an ultra sound how the baby is doing. The baby pulse got higher whenever I started pushing, so they let me pause again 3 contractions. The pain and my emotions came together and I started crying again. The assistant doctor saw that it would not work this way and let anesthesist come in again to give me something to lower the pain level through PDA. My boyfriend and I where nervous and didn’t know what exactly was going on as we were told, my water broke 12 hours ago and this means there is a possibility of an infection of the baby.. I already had fever. Another doctor came in checked the ultra sounds again. They suggested to move on with a suction cup. They said normally it takes around 2-3 hours until birth after being fully dilated. I was pushing 2 1/2 hours already. I said to my boyfriend yes, please let us do this because this takes way to long and if it helps her… some minutes went by they got all the tools together and I was still having contractions. The assistant doctor was placing the suction cup… wrong! Had to take it off and place it again!! First contraction pushing and pushing and pushing… taking a break waiting for the next contractions to build up my boyfriend already saw the head and said her hair is black!  At this point everything was so tight down there this was such a weird feeling.

9:58 AM

I pushed again and again and again… THERE SHE WAS!! I didn’t hear anything, the pediatrician took her right away and there finally I heard her voice!! This was the moment I started crying I was longing for her she was so far, yet still in the room. My boyfriend went over as he was worried not hear her voice. He wasn’t even able to cut the navel as they had to handle fast – because of the infection, I thought! (coming back to this later/ other blog post!) Finally was she checked and everything was fine and she was healthy no infection, thank the universe!! In the meanwhile everything came out of me what was still in there..

The Placenta

The past months I had problems with the placenta and we were not sure where the blood came from. I was sick off earlier than I thought, I was not allowed to move too much..I was at home getting used that I can’t do much. After giving birth to the placenta they cut it and where looking if everything is fine with it and then looked after some bruises BECAUSE this actually caused the bleeding months ago. Even I was looking at it! NOTHING was found!! Everything was good with it I mean I am thankful for that..but in the end we will never find out where it actually came from.

My Baby Aria was born – 50 cm and 3110 KG 

I was finally with her, she was laying on me, staring at me! This is an unforgettable moment – my heart grew bigger for her and I had a face to the movements in my bump. I love her so much and I was so happy, I could not believe a little human came out of me. After all that what happened … after all we went through and we stayed so strong! Everything is worth it, I swear! I didn’t really care about me I just wanted her to be good and healthy. I started to give her my breast and I got an ice-cold coke and it was so good!!

Tearing down there!

Yes, this happened due to pulling her out with the suction cup, first the assistant doctor was not sure if it was that or if the blood came from the inside. Then she started sewing I didn’t really feel anything.

My bladder was over filled

I couldn’t go to the restroom, either during the night or after birth. I had 1 1/2 L of urine in my bladder. I had to get a catheter during the whole stay at the hospital and now also at home. As this could get dangerous. But I didn’t mind as long as this helps my bladder to get smaller. I called the urine sack Alfredo for some reasons.

Inducing labor is something different.. than a natural one:

The main difference between a natural and artificially started labour is the intensity of the contractions. In a natural labour, oxytocin works to stimulate your uterus to contract and dilate the cervix. … Natural labour usually begins slowly, with a gradual build up of spaced out contractions that are short and mild

Read more about it here!

made it through the 2nd night

3rd day

Our first night together

3rd day we changed her clothes 🙂

next morning

During the day of birth

one day old Aria

IN ALL!!

This was an experience which was crazy, madness of pain, emotions and a wonder having my baby finally in my arms. The days in the hospital were going quiet well we had all the help we needed the midwives were so kind. Her first check up went good and I got breast pump to take home for a week and all information. Next week I will go back to get Alfredo my catheter out.

I will be posting a blog for how our first week went at home and a post about what I found out through my midwife who visits me at home, which is shocking what actually caused my baby having a high pulse and not screaming when she was born!

This is quiet a long story, but I wanted to keep all in details so I can have flash backs later on 🙂

I don’t know if other women were in such pain too while the labor was induced? There are women saying no to another child after the first one.. some women don’t remember the pain.

I think you can never compare all births and judge. I think everyone has a unique story..

and this was mine!

XOXO

Désirée

Baby Aria – Labor & Delivery Story Hi There! I thought I would make it to post my other blog post before this, but I had few days less than expected as my baby did come earlier.

[gomeuni-blog]

Hana Himekawa! ♥

Name: Hana Himekawa

Kanji: 花 姫川

Meaning: Flower; Princess of the River

Alias/Nicknames: n/a

Epithets/titles: The stubborn Princess

Species: Human

Gender: Female Gender specification: Female

Sexual orientation: heterosexual Pronouns: She, her

Birthday: 20 of March (First day of spring)

Age: 16 Part I:  9-10 Part II: 12-14 The Last: 16 Epilogue: 27

Naruto Gaiden: 29

Astrological zodiac sign: Pisces

--- Characteristics ---

Blood type: O+

Height: Part I:  145 cm Part II: 149 cm The Last: 155 cm Boruto: 156 cm

Weight: Part I:  40 KG Part II: 44 KG

The Last: 48 KG Boruto: 50 KG

Body shape: Skinny but with some curves Eyes: Baby blue

Hair color: Blonde

Hair styles: Twin tails Skin: Pale

Accessories: Flower shaped hairpins

--- Ninja information ---

Origin: Takigakure Village affiliation: Sunagakure

Current rank: Jounin

-Genin promotion: 12

-Chuunin promotion: 14

-Special jounin promotion: 15

-Jounin promotion: 16

Occupation: Flower Shop

Status: Active ninja

Team: n/a

Clan affiliation/s: Himekawa

Kekkei Genkai: (Info soon)

Chackra nature: Wind and Earth range

Ninjustsu range: Mid and Long range Taijustsu range: Short and Mid range Genjustsu range: Long range

Deffensive/Offensive type: Balanced

Dominant hand: Right Psychical health: Hana’s immune system is rather weak

Disorders: n/a

Weapons: Ninja bag with basic ninja equipment. Items: Senbon, kunai, kibaku fuuda, shuriken, scrolls.

Summonings:

Name: Naho

Species: Guinea pig

Abilities: Tracking

Missions completed:

D-rank: 12

C-rank: 16

B-rank: 11

A-rank: 3

S-rank: 2

Total: 44

Abilities:

Strength: Taijutsu and Ninjutsu.

Weakness: Genjutsu

Taijutsu: Excelent

Ninjutsu: Good

Genjutsu: Bad

Fighting style: Mixes ninjutsu along with Taijutsu

--- Techinques ---

Ninjutsu:

Hana is quite good when it comes to ninjutsu, her main element is earth and then wind, she has quite a handful of jutsus but she mostly uses her signature ones.

Techniques:

Jinsei no Uta: Meaning the song of life, one of Hana’s abilities she took after her mother was her beautiful voice, since she loved to sing she decided to have a use for it, so this song is a jutsu that she often uses after the battle is over. As you know, sometimes battles leave behind lots of destruction behind, with this jutsu Hana sings and the nature takes place, beautiful flowers bloom, the grass and the plants take over the bodies and the destruction of the battles and it turns everything into new life.

Hanabira no Odori: It’s a jutsu that consists in flower petals and a very strong wind, besides making the opponent not seeing well, the petals also cut at the touch.

Taijutsu:

Hana exceeds at Taijutsu, she has an incredible amount of speed and agility that makes things easier, but on the other side, her body can only take much, and her stamina isn’t great. In taijutsu she doesn’t’ stick to techniques, her style of fighting is very “free”.

Techniques:

Tsume dageki: She uses thorns to create some kind of spikes or even claws and she strikes the opponent down with it, it’s usually her final move.

Genjutsu:

Hana is not good at Genjutsu at all but there is one she can use. She used this genjutsu on Tomoe when he was almost dying due to a ambush in Kirigakure.

Techniques:

Amai Yume: Literally meaning sweet dreams, Hana sings a soft lullaby who relaxes the victim’s body and sends them into a deep sleep that makes them remind of their most happy memory. It’s a jutsu she developed in order to use it on herself when she couldn’t stop having nightmares and she needed rest but it didn’t quite work.

Kenjutsu:

Hana has a keen Kenjutsu, she doesn’t use it often but when she does you better run for your life, she mixes wind techniques along with it and her blades can cut clean at the distance of 15 meters.

--- Personal traits ---

Personality:

Since Hana’s mother died while giving birth to her, Hana’s dad became really attached to her and spoiled her in many ways possible. Because of that she grew up with that Hime personality of hers. She always acts like she is the confident girl she seems to be, a spoiled princess, but in fact she is a very insecure girl and is always sharpening her skills to never rely on anyone but herself. Her relationship with her team was also bad because of that and since she was left solo often she also grew up and strong. The only exception for the rule is: If she loves you, it’s the complete opposite, she may act cold and sassy at first but if you really grab her heart, she will go through hell and beyond for you but also aware that sometimes her spoiled princess personality will take the lead. She tends to cry a lot when she gets hurt emotionally and she is very hard to cheer up when she is sad.

Good traits: Hana is dominant, a natural leader, she is somewhat confident of her abilities and is very ambitious.

Bad traits: On the other side she has a very short temper, has a sharp mouth, tends to do things on her own, speaks without thinking.

Confidence/Self-esteem: Hana seems a very confident person and values herself above everyone when she is with other people but when she is alone she is too much aware of her many flaws.

Likes:

-foods and drinks: Hot chocolate and croissants

-colors: purple

-favourite animal: Guinea pigs

-what he/she likes to do in his/her free time: Take care of her flowers, walk around and take care of her guinea pigs.

Dislikes:

-foods and drinks: coffee and seafood

-colors: mustard yellow

-less favourite animal: snake

-what he/she doesn’t likes to do in his/her free time: procrastinate

Habits: When she is talking to other people she always seems to drive them away unconsciously and when she is nervous she laughs a lot.

Hobbies: As a hobby, she owns a flower shop that used to belong to her mother

Fears: Being completely alone, snakes, losing her father Insecurities: Hana is insecure when she starts to like someone friendly or romantically due to her harsh personality, she thinks that sometimes she might cross the line making the other party hate her.

Ambition: Her ambition is to be successful in life doing what she loves. Quotes: “I am whatever I want to be”, “If I say something with a serious look, don’t ever doubt that my feelings are true”

--- Relationships ---

Parents: Ai Himekawa; Akira Tanaka

Sibling(s): Tomoe Tanaka

Relative(s): Akane Himekawa (Aunt)

Teammates/Ex-teammates: n/a

Relationship status: Taken Significant other: Souta Kobayashi

Best friend: n/a

Rival: Her family besides her father and brother Children: Yui Kobayashi Students: n/a Pets: n/a

Ai Himekawa:

Status: dead Nature of relationship: Mother

Hana never met her mother, she thinks she died when she gave birth to Hana, but the story is a lot more different. Ai died because secretly she was the last one that held the kekkei genkai of their clan who was sure to have ended, her sister planned to steal Hana from her since she was born with the kekkei genkai as well, but Ai didn’t agree to it and died while protecting her baby. When Akira entered the room, it was too late, but he managed to save Hana from Akane’s hands.

Akira Tanaka:

Status: alive Nature of relationship: Father

Hana’s relationship with her father is unbreakable, he would risk everything for her if she had to. She has always been a daddy’s girl, they used to be together all the time and he would give her anything she wished for. He did that mostly to fill in the whole left by his wife’s dad and he was afraid that he would lose Hana. Even if Hana grew up with that bad habit of talking like if she was superior, she never did such a thing with her father, she had a big amount of respect for him.

Tomoe Tanaka:

Status: Alive Nature of relationship: Step Brother

Akira before having Hana, he had a relationship with another woman back in Kirigakure, he fell in love with her and then she tricked him, leaving him and their son alone. Besides all that he found Ai and she immediately accepted Tomoe as a son. When Ai died, Tomoe was still young but he understood it all very well, besides everything he had to care for his precious sister so he left home back to Kirigakure and trained hard so he could protect his family, whenever he came back, Hana felt so happy that she would just cling to him all the time, and when he left back to Kirigakure, she would always cry and try to make him stay. Overall, they were also very close.

Akane Himekawa:

Status: Alive Nature of relationship: Aunt

Akane was Ai’s sister, she had always grown envious of her sister’s ability to have the kekkei genkai. Ai never used it once in her life, she was against it but Akane have always wanted it to achieve fame and fortune. That’s when she found the opportunity of using Hana to achieve that but failed her fist attempt. One day, when Hana was waiting for her dad at the academy, he was late, and her aunt appeared instead and took her, trying to take advantage of it, but her father realized and appeared before anything really bad happened. Hana growing up kept her distance from the Himekawa clan, it was a curse more often than a blessing and as soon she understood what her kekkei genkai was about, she swore to herself never to use it.

Souta Kobayashi:

Status: Alive Nature of relationship: Boyfriend/ Husband

Souta is Hana’s boyfriend and after her husband. First, they didn’t get along with each other since their personalities crashed a lot but soon after they met in very peculiar circumstances, when he practically saved her life, Hana felt quite bit of a spark between them and that was the moment she began to fall in love with him. When she realized she loved him, she honestly had no hope in that relationship, but still, she began wanting to see him more often, even if it was from afar and since the business was going well. Due to the accident in her mission she ended up 6 months in the hospital but as soon as she got out of there she decided to open a shop in Sunagakure. The one who helped her move there surprisingly was also Souta, Hana kept up with that façade personality of her but on the inside, she was very happy to have spent more time with him.

Souta’s visits to Hana always lightened up her mood, even if they sometimes ended up in some healthy arguments. Since Hana thought that relationship had nothing but friendship in it, she ended up giving up on her feelings, only to a few weeks later ended up caught in Souta’s sudden kiss and finally admitting that she loved him. The relationship was mutual. Soon after that their relationship went stable and the façade of them both had ended, and they finally were able to be a happy family.

Haru Misora:

Status: Alive Nature of relationship: Sensei

Haru was an old friend of Akira and Hana’s sensei, he was in charge of Hana since she had a really rough time socializing with other students and all her teams had gone wrong. He understood her above everything and was Hana’s first friend, he was the one who taught her Taijutsu and also helped her develop her signature jutsu. Haru had an important role on Hana’s life because when she had a health crisis, he tried to convince Hana to leave her ninja life, but she didn’t listen to him, that caused her to spend two whole years on the hospital and also for Haru to resign his position as her sensei.

--- Background & history ---

Childhood:

Hana was a very happy child raised by her father. It was only the two of them and they were extremely close. She was spoiled a lot by him and she grew up with the attitude of a very stubborn princess. Soon she met her big brother and they also became very close and they meat the world to her. The lack of female presence didn’t influence her being less feminine, on the contrary, she loved dresses and doing her hair more than anything. Her father gave her the things that belonged to her mother for Hana to follow her steps, due to that, she was constantly under pressure since she felt like her dad was expecting her to become exactly like her mother, other than that, she began her training and her dad often assisted her.

Gennin days:

Hana’s days as a gennin went well overall, she exceeded in her taijutsu and ninjutsu but her ability to resist genjutsu was a mess. But that didn’t stop her from being a good ninja. Everything was well until she was on a mission and she suddenly fell sick, she didn’t know what had caused it and it was not getting better at all, she had to suddenly go back to her village and she stayed in the hospital for about two weeks, they had discovered that Hana had a condition that was weakening her immune system so that prevented her to enjoy her gennin years but without her dad knowing she continued her training, Hana and her Sensei had a huge fight because she was caught training when she needed absolute rest and he refused to be her sensei any longer. That certainly was a shot in Hana’s heart, he was her only friend and now, the only person who understood her was gone.

Chuunin days: Hana’s chuunin days weren’t sweet at all, after she graduated, she began to take more than she could handle, she had this thing of training non-stop and taking every mission she could. In her head, she needed to get stronger and stronger but when she wasn’t with her mind full of those thoughts, she would often think that she wasn’t enough, that she wasn’t making her family proud and that she couldn’t be like her mother like everyone expected her to be. During that time, she had lots of breakdowns and would often shut herself out to the world.

One more thing happened during these days, she met a boy on a mission, a very handsome and charming one and he quickly complimented about her flowers. Surprisingly it was a boy from the Himekawa clan, he kept on and on and finally won the blonde’s heart only to break it into pieces shortly after. After that, Hana shut her heart to everyone who tried to approach her and was practically unreachable. To get away from everything and everyone she took on a long-term mission and came back nearly dead from it, maybe that what she would’ve wanted at that time but Tomoe reached her in time.

War Arc:

Hana didn’t participate in the war, she couldn’t because she was quite in bad shape and her condition had got a hold of her again. Because of that she went to orphanages to help the children and give self-defense lessons to them, besides preferring flowers and animals over humans, she always had a weakness for children, to her, they were like buds who would eventually grow into beautiful flowers.

The Last:

The last is the more complicated part of her life, she does her missions and has a flower shop as a hobby. Due to the flower shop she met Souta but since her rank was upgraded to a jounin she had to go more often on long term missions. One of those missions Souta saved her but still, that mission made Hana’s body fail and for 6 months she couldn’t leave bed or even her hospital room. But her brother stayed with her for the time being since her dad didn’t have that much time to. After she almost fully recovered she moved to Sunagakure, she had lots of time to think and needed something to distract her. Eventually her relationship with the grey haired boy turned out for the best even tough it was a difficult one and the two of them ended up together.

Epilogue/Cheapter 700+:

Hana gets settled, has a baby, gets married, everything is flowers <3

[when-the-spring-dies]

Azumaya Sakurai (ENG)

LIFE IS a constant battle between Sakurai and God. Ever since he was born, nothing good served on his plate. On Monday, it would be pain; on Tuesday, it would be despair; on Wednesday, it would be violence; on Thursday, it would be regret; on Friday, it became milder, shame; on Saturday and Sunday, Lord gave him a little bit mercy and fun with lust. 

Had Sakurai plead for more mercies, God might send him a packet of blessing every day. But no one ever taught the man how to kneel down or to slosh in tears, asking for forgiveness and hoping the heaven belonged to him. But for once, he saw and heard his parents shouting: “God! Oh, God! Forgive me. God!” while raising a kitchen knife. Later, they thrusting at each other with it, still calling out for anybody’s God.

When the shouting stopped and the red river claimed the lifeless builds, Sakurai crawled on top of them. His dark hair which inherited from his mother and his sharp strong-willed eyes gifted by his father, shaped him like a vulture in a huntㅡready to devour the corpse before flies and maggots joined the feast.

For days, he sucked on his mother’s stiff nipples, but no milk calmed his hunger; all left was dried blood and maggots eddying around him. They nudged his weakened cheek and hand several times as if inviting the boy to play. But he was too hungry to move and his mother’s warmth had gone, so he did what a three years old would do: crying. And when the vocal cords couldn’t support another weep, he fell asleep.

Days passed, Sakurai was saved. He didn’t know who and when, but what he faced once he woke up was a woman dressed in white, carrying him while feeding something unfamiliar. A year later, he learned that he fed from a cow and he loved it. He loved it more than his mother’s which he couldn’t recall the taste anymore. 

Everything became blurred to him. How his parents look like? What nickname did they give him? What was the title of his favorite bedtime story? All those memories dead along with his parents.

Fighting over flower scented blanket or new donated toys was the usual activity. Some kids would use their fist and the others would cry. The strongest got the blanket and the toys while the weak ones bawled together in the corner of the room. Sakurai believed they shouldn’t cry because later, once someone took them away, they would have their own toys and bedroom. Just like Nanao who left with an uncle who had big belly, she sent some pictures where she went to the Disneyland and stuffed her pink bedroom with dolls from there. 

Soon, Sakurai figured that not every child who left the orphanage could have a beautiful life like Nanao. He remembered he held hands with his fellow orphans, dressed in all black, following the caretakers who cried while hugging a photo of a kid named Genta. They said Genta was beaten and starved until he passed. The police arrested his adopted parents and threw them into jail. 

After Genta’s death, everyone became murky. None of them excited whenever they were told to line up or to hear: “The parents are here!”. Sakurai saw them and himself like the goods being sold in the market. And it was just his luck that a woman dressed in kimono took interest in him. She said he looked handsome and not so Japanese; that his records showed he behaved well.

For a week, Sakurai who lived for only six years on earth, felt nervous. Would he end up like Genta? But did he have anything to lose? He didn’t even know how the future would like.

So he left with Makoto, the woman’s name. She took him to Gion, Kyoto, where she worked as a geisha in her early twenties. Now she in her middle thirties, no one interested being entertained by her. And with her charming mind, Makoto opened a restaurant which serving her hometown delicacies to tourists and the tea houses’ visitors. 

Sakurai didn’t end up like Genta and didn’t end up like Nanao. He ended up as Azumaya Sakurai, the adopted son of Nakamura Makoto. Every morning he helped his mother to clean the restaurant and went to school with his friends from the same neighborhood. He grew up bright and playful. Everyone loved him, but some couldn’t help to tease him for being parentless and for being adopted by Makoto.

One afternoon, Sakurai got home with cuts and bruises. Makoto asked him if he were falling or fought someone. And the answer was the latter. “I defeated them,” he said. “Then, I’ll make sure to visit your school tomorrow,” she said.

After Makoto patched his wounds, Sakurai asked her if she didn’t want to know the reason of his fight. And with a motherly smile, she said, “I know the fight is for me. Thank you, Saku-kun. If I were born as a real woman, you wouldn’t need to through this embarrassment.”

And Sakurai yelled in rage: “What was the purpose of the sentence?” For him who left by his parents and knew nothing about how warm a mother’s love could be, Makoto was the most beautiful mother in the universe. Even when she turned into ashes.

Sakurai forgot how to count. He forgot how to count the times he had cried over Makoto’s full name on a tiny jar. It was unreal how he could feel a great sadness in his heart.

The aching, the yearning, and the emptiness he experienced, every single of it were for Makoto; for his mother. That day, Sakurai had his first conversation with God to condemn Him. My mother would still alive if You didn’t allow those drunkard yakuzas came in. I hate You! 

An eleven years old boy who grew up with manner didn’t know how to cuss properly. Even when a stranger held him in his arms, Sakurai got nothing to say but to ask: “Who are you?”

His dark long silky hair swayed beautifully as he walked. And his droopy but keen eyes stared at him tenderly, just like Makoto’s. “I’m Makoto’s little brother. So, you are my responsibility now. But because Makoto didn’t have a good relation with our family, you should work harder than everyone else to gain the Oyabun’s favor.”

“I’m sorry, but who is Oyabun?”

Nobody said anything. Not even the men in the front row of the car, they were as quite as the dead. But once the car stopped and a grand gate appeared behind the tinted window, the man opened his mouth: “The Head of Sui-kai, my father.”

General Information

Name: Azumaya Sakurai (東屋櫻井)

CV: Howl

Place and Date of Birth: Tokyo, September 13 1991

Gender: Male

Height and Weight: 188 cm and 87 kg

Blood Type: A

Education: Bachelor of Science Communication University W

Job: Yakuza mentor to Hanase, Vice President of Celestial Entertainment, (former) kindergarten teacher

Outfit: Simple modern black suit, tracksuits, and hoodie

Pants: Anything that's comfortable

Shoes: Classic shoes (Oxford/Chelsea), sneakers

Tattoo: Irezumi style (on the back)

Accessories: Watches, earrings, and a belt

Perfume: Gentleman by Givenchy

Weapons: Daggers, swords, knives, and fists

Favorite Food: Anything

Favorite Drinks: Whiskey, tea

Favorite Cigarette: Camel Wide

Group: Murakami-gumi, Sui-kai (former)

Pets: Kyosuke, Hanase, Otsuka, You.

Personality

MBTI: INFP Alignment: Lawful Evil/Good Keywords: Analytical, intelligent, reserved, critical, helpful, conscientious

Usually, Sakurai is a good-hearted man. He is sensitive to his surroundings and tend to help his peers in need. Generally, he is respectable, hard-working, and bright in knowledge and practical matters. Everyone will search for him when they need advices.

Sakurai doesn’t enjoy spotlight. He prefers standing in the background as long as he is appreciated for doing things well. He may brush off people’s compliment harshly which leads to uncomfortable situation, but honestly, he’s just shy.

Not everyone knows that Sakurai is honestly a playful and has mischievous sense of humor. He’s a bright person who enjoys life and freedom; he loves to travel the world and meeting new people, creating many lovely memories.

Sakurai doesn’t like to hold back due to his temperamental nature. He’ll dealing with his problems right away so he can get on with other things. He secretly enjoys trouble and confrontations, stagnant life isn’t for him. And some people can’t hate him deeply because of his childlike innocence. 

Even so, Sakurai used to live as a soldier; the knight in fairytale stories. He lives listening to the Lord’s command, not the one in command. He’ll submit and do the tasks bestowed upon him, bringing the victory for his Lord. 

He is chained by the destiny. He is forced to do what his heart refused to do. All the blood, the suffering, the dying souls in the battlefield, he must weight them on his shoulders for years to come; eating up the little light inside him.

How to trigger him? Anyone who breaks the rules and creates a chaos will not live peacefully until they pay for their actions. Sakurai doesn’t get along with people who have bad manners and direct or abrasive expression of feelings. Not only they’ll keep fighting, but Sakurai has tendency to give in (avoiding conflict) and let the person always bullies him.

Physical Statistics

STRENGTH (2,205lb/1,000kg)

CONSTITUTION

stamina: 100%

endurance: 100%

vitality: 100%

recovery: 85%

resistance: 90%

fortitude: 100%

resilience: 85%

DEXTERITY

agility: 90%

accuracy: 97%

Mental Statistics

INTELLIGENCE (90%)

CHARISMA

presence: 100%

charm: 100%

social skills: 100%

PERCEPTION

awareness: 100%

POWERS

interrogation (4/5)

firearms (3/5)

hand-to-hand combat (5/5)

intimidation (5/5)

manipulation (3/5)

skilled acrobat (4/5)

multilingual (English, Korean, Japanese) (4/5)

technology (4/5)

Trivia

He has affectionate nature.

He has more networking with older people than younger ones.

Stamina King.

Twitching his eyebrows and gripping his buckle when he’s mad or irritated.

Changing his home or office interior regularly.

Controlling his sensitive side with working out and cleaning home (loves domestic works).

Discount Maniac, he knows when the supermarket will have great deals.

Contributed to society as a health instructor for the senior citizens. 

Yes to extreme sports, not much scared of anything; even the dark side of human nature.

Love music and art, Makoto taught him.

Can’t sleep alone, he collects bear dolls to accompany him or sleeping with someone instead.

Cover Up Tattoo