#I just kind of vegged out for a few hours what the hell

[oculusxcaro]

Khare absolutely fucking hates the great outdoors. She loves it from afar, gazing at pictures and watching documentaries but having crossed hundreds of miles on foot over rugged mountains and harsh terrain far from civilisation, she's encountered bears, mountain lions, coyotes and wolves, porcupines and creatures she's pretty sure aren't supposed to exist. She slipped on a few occasions, tumbling down sheer cliffs as rockslides gave way beneath her feet but her bones healed rapidly, allowing her to continue her journey south while putting as much distance between her and Prometheus as possible.

[janeyseymour]

hiii!! i love your writing and i hope you’re doing well <3 i was hoping to request a melissa x reader with “causal” work crush between the two of them. reader is a very put together teacher during school hours but a trendy aesthetic person off campus. mel comes across reader at the grocery store and is astonished at the revealing alternative style and sexy tattoos. reader gets super nervous and shy once mel teasingly approaches. no one at work has ever seen her like this but especially not her crush melissa

oh wow, this one... nice. written as i procrastinate cleaning my house!

Personal and Professional

wc: ~2.4k

You grew up hearing from both of your parents that you should never mix the personal with the professional. So you compartmentalize. You’ve always done it. You kept school life away from home life when you could, and now you keep your work life away from your home life. That’s not to say that you aren’t friends with your coworkers at school. It’s just that it’s much easier to keep professional Y/N and personal Y/N separate.

And the personal and professional you are two entirely different people.

You see, at school, you’re ‘Miss Y/N’. You keep it all together. You’re buttoned up, you’re conservative in your clothing style, and you strive to maintain that aura of professionalism that you see coming off of people like Barbara Howard. You’re pretty damn good at it too. You’re kind, you allow your coworkers to see small bits of your home life (“Oh, I’ll probably just do some grocery shopping before laying on my couch for the entirety of the weekend… maybe I’ll go to the gym,” is your usual response when they ask what you’re doing over the weekend), and the teachers have all come to respect you once you settled into your position.

But once the school hours are over and you can let your hair down, both figuratively and metaphorically, you trade out your blouse and sweater or blazer for more form-fitting and revealing shirts, pants that aren’t slacks, and you change your flats to your doc martens that you’ve been rocking since the eleventh grade. You take out the clear stud and put in your nose ring, and exchange earrings different from the delicate hoops you wear to school. Your multiple tattoos show in your street clothes, and you love it. 

You’re not entirely sure how your coworkers would feel if they knew that this was how you presented yourself outside of the school, but it doesn’t matter. They’re so used to seeing you all done up to teach that even if they did see you outside of school, they probably wouldn’t recognize you. You sure as hell wouldn’t go out of your way to say hello if you saw one of them outside of campus.

But then things start to change about six months into working at Abbott.

Shit. You have a thing for one of your coworkers- Melissa Schemmenti to be exact. It’s a very casual and silly thing the two of you have going on, really. She flirts with you, you flirt with her; it’s all in good fun. You know that you’ll never act on it though because you keep your many lives as far away from each other as possible, even going as far as grocery shopping a few streets over from where you know most of your coworkers go in order to not run into them. You’ve never had an issue with running into anyone outside of the school anyway- why would that change?

“What are your plans for the weekend, hot stuff?” Melissa flirts with you while you’re eating lunch. “And don’t give me your usual answer… you gotta have more of a life than what you lead on, miss mysterious.”

You roll your eyes. “You wish I was with you.”

She hums in lieu of an answer before asking you again, “What are your plans for the weekend?”

“Honestly?” you chuckle. “Probably some grocery shopping, I have a friend coming over tomorrow, and then Sunday is a day to grade and veg out on the couch while I catch up on some shitty reality tv.”

“Sounds riveting,” the redhead jokes.

“Well, what do you have going on?”

“Nothin’,” she grins. “I fully plan on staying in my Eagles sweatshirt and catching up on laundry and some chores- probably have some wine while I’m at it. Care to join me on Sunday after I go to church?” She’s never asked you if you wanted to hang out outside of work before, and it throws you for a loop. You nearly choke on your salad.

“Oi,” she huffs playfully. “I was just messin’. I don’t want to have to endure any of that shit reality tv in my house.”

“Yeah,” you chuckle. “I wouldn’t want you to have to sit through that either.” The two of you finish up your lunches and head back to your classrooms to deal with your monsters for the rest of the Friday.

“See you Monday, babe,” Melissa winks at you as she closes the door to her classroom and locks it.

“Oh, counting down already, I see,” you roll your eyes. “See you Monday, babe.”

When you get home, you change out of your stuff work attire and into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. You change out your jewelry for the things you prefer. You fully plan on laying on your couch with a bottle of wine on this lazy Friday night, but when you get home you realize that you finished off your favorite white last weekend. With a sigh, you go into your bedroom to change into some nicer street clothes- you would rather be caught dead than wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt out in public. At the front door, you pull on your docs, and then you’re off to the grocery store.

If you’re there now, you decide it’s best to just get your grocery shopping for the week out of the way. You grab a cart and start perusing the aisles like you usually do.

You have a few things in your cart when you find yourself in the aisle with the wines and beers, and you’re currently pouring over the selections. What would your friend want? Probably just some Yuengling. So you throw a case of that into your cart before turning to look for the wine that you love. Little do you know, Melissa is turning her cart down the aisle that you’re currently in, and she recognizes you almost immediately.

You look so starkly different than she’s used to seeing you. If she’s being honest, she’s a little thrown off with your outfit. She’s so used to seeing you in your work attire, your hair either in a neat, low bun or down. But here? This look is entirely different from what she was expecting you to be done up in outside of work. She of course knew that you wouldn’t always be dressed like a teacher, but wow. She was not expecting this. You’re in a pair of tighter, ripped black jeans, you have a tank top on, and your hair is thrown up into a stylish messy bun with a few pieces strategically pulled out to give off the appearance that it’s an effortless look (it is for you). Is that a tattoo on your shoulder that she sees? And a tattoo on your arm? How has she never noticed that before? You have a cartilage piercing, bold earrings for your first and second, and… is that a nose ring? She didn’t even know you had your nose pierced. If Melissa’s honest with herself, it only makes you that much more attractive.

You turn, satisfied with your decision, and pop the bottle into the top of your shopping cart. You make eye contact with the redhead that is practically drooling over the sight of you. You give her a shy wave, but you don’t dare to interact. Don’t mix the personal from the professional. The woman snaps out of her own trance and waves back with a curious look.

You continue down the aisles, and you think that you’re in the clear from Melissa- you acknowledged her, that’s all you had to do. She goes on her way too, but the two of you run into each other again during checkout.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” she winks at you as she starts putting her groceries up on the conveyor belt. “Never pegged you as a beer girl.”

“Hey,” you say softly, shyly. “It- it’s actually for my friend.” That also throws Melissa for a loop. At school, you’re so confident, quick to make a remark. But now, you sound like you have something caught in your throat, and you nervously tuck one of the loose strands of hair behind your ear, as if that would make you more professional looking. “I’ve never seen you around here before?”

“I usually go to the one that everyone else goes to, but they were out of my wine, so…” she gestures to it before putting it up on the belt. “It was worth the extra ten minute drive though if it means I get to see you.” She winks at you with those emerald green eyes of her, but you don’t reciprocate. You nervously worry your lip between your teeth, as if you have no idea what to say.

Melissa understands your hesitation and shrugs. The two of you stand in line together awkwardly. She’s rung up, and as she leaves, you call a gentle, “Have a good weekend, see you Monday.”

She turns and blows a kiss your way, waving flirtatiously before leaving.

Your weekend is nice. Your friend comes over, you go out to the clubs, and you almost forget about the encounter that you had with the hot redheaded second grade teacher.

The small break from work is over all too soon, and you find yourself somewhat dragging yourself into Abbott on Monday, but duty calls. You’re back to wearing your lightly colored blouse and a sweater over top to cover the tattoo that you didn’t feel like putting makeup over today, you’re back in your dress pants and flats. You didn’t even bother to do your hair, just simply brushing it and letting it cascade over your shoulders instead.

You enter the staff lounge and it’s empty, as it always is. You’re always the first one in. Whoever comes next is always a mystery, but today, it’s Melissa Schemmenti. Of course it is. Without anyone else there to buffer, you know she is absolutely going to bring up your meeting on Friday night.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” the redhead says suavely. “Have a nice weekend?”

“Yeah, babe,” you shoot out. The coffee pot dings. “You want some?”

“You know I always do,” she sighs out as she makes a move for the cabinet with the mugs inside. She grabs hers before sauntering over to you. The second grade teacher hands you the mug before cozying up to you.

“For you,” you roll your eyes as your pour the scalding hot liquid into her cup.

“Thanks, babe,” she smirks and winks. “So… when were you goin’ to tell me about this little number?” she rests a gentle hand on your shoulder- the one with the tattoo.

“What do you mean?” you chuckle.

“That tattoo,” she licks her lips.

“I forget it’s there,” you roll your eyes. “Young Y/N mistakes.” Not true at all. You love that tattoo, and most of your street clothes show it off. 

“It’s sexy,” she tells you lowly. “Kinda like the ear spike and the nose ring I had no idea you had.”

“I’m a different woman outside of school, babes,” you tell her, smirk evident as you start to fix your own coffee. “Didn’t realize I had to tell you about it all.”

“You don’t,” she shrugs. “I’ll find it all out myself… little miss alt girl.”

“In your dreams,” you fire out, and you get pretty close to her.

“Oh, every night,” she challenges you and moves even closer. At this point, the two of you are nose to nose.

And wow, it wouldn’t take much more for you to-

“Good morning!” Janine bursts in through the door, not knowing what she’s walking into.

You and Melissa couldn’t jump away from each other faster. The young, energetic teacher starts to ramble on all about her weekend, and your other colleagues start to make their way in. When it comes time to watch the news, Melissa settles herself in next you. Her hand finds its way to your shoulder, and she starts to trace the outline of you tattoo. Then, you feel the redhead’s hand make its way to your arm, where the other tattoo is that she saw. You didn’t know she saw that one too. She lets her fingers lazily trace around that one as well. All of your coworkers are too enamored with what’s happening on the screen to really notice, and Melissa’s green eyes are trained on the television as well. You could not be further from what’s happening on the screen. All you can think of is Melissa, and the things that she’s doing right now are driving you crazy.

Soon though, the kids will start to trickle in, and you know you have to get to your classroom. So you head out, a flirtatious smile and wink thrown the second grade teacher’s way before you close yourself into your room. You take a deep breath, and get ready for your day.

As you’re about to make your way out of your classroom, you hear heeled boots clinking along the linoleum floor, and you know those boots belong to the redhead that’s been on your mind all day.

“Hey, babe,” you says, back turned to the door, but you know it’s her. “Come to walk me out?”

The clicking gets louder, and before you can even think, Melissa has you pinned up against your desk. You can feel the corner of it digging into your back, and then you don’t because all you can feel are her lips on yours. Instinctively, you kiss her back. It’s better than you had been dreaming of. And then she pulls back, wipes away the lipstick she left smudged, wipes her own mouth to fix her own lip, and then winks at you.

“I’m done pretending that all this flirting we do is harmless,” she says once she’s righted herself. “You, me, dinner tonight at The Capital Grille. 6, sharp.”

You don’t know what else to do other than nod.

“And don’t come dressed in your teacher outfit,” she instructs. “I want the babe that you are… Ear spike, nose ring, tattoos out.”

With that, she turns on her heel and makes her way out of your room. As she’s making her way down the hall, you hear her call over her shoulder, “Don’t miss me too much!”

So much for not mixing the personal with the professional.

Next

[blackparaderunner]

The first time he had seen the god, he knew he was made to be his, there was no way someone like that could be anything else. He was beautiful, kind, and perfect in every way. He was just perfect, and he would be his. So the man took it upon himself to follow the god around, it wasn’t too hard when he had access to Constellation and therefore information and a little cheat app one of his alters had snuck in to allow them travel between worlds by using magic through the app’s code.

So he followed Cinder around, learnt about him, what he liked and disliked, what he did, his usual routines and the places he liked to frequent, all whisky staying hidden from the gods sight, and as he fell more and more for the god he began to plan on how he was going to make Cinder his and his alone.

First and foremost was making a good impression, so with that in mind he had hit up the infinite mall and just happened to make sure that he had gotten the last two orders of Charrus burgers and spider fries, they were surprisingly good. Once he had done that he waited until the god got told that he had taken the last order, he sat there with the double order looking a little sad staring at the seat opposite him as he idly chewed on one of the fries, yet he was watching from the corner of his eye. Would he take the bait?

( @a-drop-of-nightshade )

Cinder had been busy as all hell ever since all the L alters began to link up with their app. They were making so many connections and needing transport between worlds it seemed multiple times a day. He had just dropped off an L that had all but squirmed out of his hands like a greased pig when he'd seen the monster waiting for him. That's how it seemed to go. They had no self preservation instincts when it came to these types of beings. So he just dropped him off and checked his book for the next transport.

After dropping off several other L's he was tired. It seemed that the weeks were just flying by thanks to how busy he'd been with everything and everyone. It just kept reminding him how lonely he was. How could he properly care for a partner when he had no time for himself? Most days he just collapsed where he could to sleep and catch a few hours rest before needing to rush off again. It was just an endless cycle but he refused to give up on them all.

A few days later he needed a break. Putting everything on hold he just went to the mall to get some food and rest. Walking to the stalls he just wanted some comfort food and to veg out for awhile. But he wasn't in luck it seemed. The stall was out and it would be an hour at least until they restocked. They did tell him about someone showing up and seemingly being stood up. Frowning he looked over and instantly recgonized an L sitting alone.

Shocked he walked over to him and sat down. "Oh shit who stood you up?" Pulling out his book he began scanning the pages. "I don't see any dates set up. Did you want me to go grab someone nice for you?"

[sweatermuppet]

there surely had to be some good times while you worked at camp

oh there were. plenty of them. one of my coworkers was a close friend. i got to walk his dog. we shared jackets on cold mornings or long periods organizing the freezer. he was vegan & one dinner, he came in panicking asking if i had made a veg option & when i said i had—i can't even remember what it was now, pizza? pasta?—he hugged me so unexpectedly. when he got sick, i washed & cut him fruit

my girls were great. one of them made me a charm jar necklace. we'd hang out in the lodge on nights we weren't overly tired. we played music constantly & they'd dance

the repair man there was diabetic & camp didn't have a lot of sugar free options so on my one day off i went to walmart & got him sugarless pasta sauce for spaghetti night. his son was insanely kind to me, we'd stay up for hours sitting on the steps to my cabin talking, mostly abt jesus. when i left, he climbed up into my rafters to help get my lights down & hugged me twice. they had a dog too, mickey, french bulldog that would come up to the back door & play with me

one moment i recall with sharpened joy is sitting on the ramp of the back door. my day off i think & the grills were going. one of the counselors was coming up the path with her husband & dog & she had a basket of peaches she'd picked from home. she barely knew me (i didn't work there long & being kitchen staff, i had no obligation to attend camp events) but she offered me a peach. it was so damn good, sun warm & soft.

camp was hell & a half, but i can't deny the way everyone came together. it was entirely selfless. my girls, my coworkers, other staff—they greeted me while they got coffee, they told me how good dinner was while i ran the dish window. the repair man would joke abt me deserving a raise & a night off

& all this while i was openly trans, a few months on T. they didn't know me as anyone but silas which was a new thing for me. i just got to be myself & they were cool with it, no one was malicious abt my gender or sexuality. for all the terrible parts of working there, it was a relief to go in before sunrise to start breakfast prep knowing i wouldn't have even a minute of doubt in regards to my identity

[nurseanddex]

if you're doing sentence starters, 3/27 for nursey & dex?

3. “what did you do?” and 27. “why the hell is there glitter everywhere?”

Dex was going to murder someone.

When he found out who did this, he was absolutely going to murder them.

He had returned from an absurdly stressful final exam, his very last final exam of junior year, thank fuck, fully planning to spend a few hours vegging on his bed and watching Netflix before he needed to pack up his shit for the long drive home to Maine in the morning. But someone decided he needed other plans.

Because someone had decided to set off a glitter bomb in the middle of his bungalow.

Every single surface was coated in a rainbow of ultrafine glitter. The kind that was practically impossible to ever fully get out, no matter how hard you tried. It was all over his bedding and even had managed to get into his dresser and closet and coat most of his clothing with a layer of glitter.

Great, now he had to do laundry because he couldn’t very well go home to his vaguely homophobic family with practically every piece of clothing he owned sparkling in a glitter rainbow. Sure, he was mostly out now but with his family it was very much still a keep it to himself and don’t shove it in their faces situation.

Sighing, he set to shoving the worst hit items into his laundry basket to get started on the arduous task of cleaning up. At least if he had to wash literally his entire wardrobe, he was conveniently located to the washer and didn’t have to lug everything up and down the stairs. He opened the door of the bungalow to go start the load and suddenly found himself face to face with an extremely sheepish looking Nursey.

“Surprise,” Nursey said, offering him a weak smile accompanied by some half-hearted jazz hands.

“What did you do?” Dex growled.

“Well, Chowder and I were talking and we thought it would be nice to do something to celebrate you being made captain.”

“So why the hell is there a mess of glitter everywhere??”

“There may have been a miscommunication over whether we would be getting a confetti cannon or a glitter cannon,” Nursey admitted, unable to meet Dex’s eyes.

“What have I ever done to give you the impression that either of those would be something I would enjoy?”

“Yeah, we uh, sort of realized that? About two seconds after we set it off. We were hoping we could get it cleaned up before you got back but we may have um, fried the vacuum in the process. Chowder went over to the volleyball house to ask Farms if we could borrow theirs.” Dex’s shoulders slumped as he felt the rush of anger go out of him. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t stay mad at what was a misguided but well-intentioned gesture from his best friends.

“Just help me clean this up, okay?” He pressed his laundry basket into Nursey’s hands, “Can you start that load? I’ll see if I can find some brooms.”

It took what felt like an eternity, but between the two of them, they were able to get the majority of the glitter explosion cleaned up. It probably would have gone faster if Chowder had ever made it back with a vacuum, but he must’ve gotten distracted with Farmer. Exhausted, they slumped together on Dex’s bed.

“So you go home tomorrow?” Nursey asked, stretching out his tired limbs.

“Yup,” Dex sighed, “Back to lobstering and trying not to be too obviously gay so as not to bother my family with my ‘offensive lifestyle’ or whatever it is they’re calling it now.”

“Why go back if it’s going to be so shitty?”

“It’s not like I have anywhere else to go,” Dex laughed sardonically, “And really it’s not so bad if I just keep my mouth shut and don’t draw too much attention to myself.”

“You can come stay with me,” Nursey said, surprising himself.

“I can’t impose on your family like that. And I definitely can’t afford to not work this summer.”

“We have plenty of space, you wouldn’t be imposing. My mom’s company is looking for summer help, you could apply there. I don’t know how much you earn lobstering, but the minimum wage in the city is pretty high because the city is so expensive.”

“I can’t just not go home for the whole summer!”

“There will be a long weekend for the Fourth of July, you could go visit then.”

“I don’t know, Nursey,” Dex said, his voice wavering.

“Do you even want to go home? It sounds to me like it makes you miserable.” Nursey’s words caused Dex to deflate, all the fight draining from his weary bones. He couldn’t deny it any longer.

“I don’t, and it does,” he quietly admitted, “but if I don’t go back and help, and prove that I’m still useful, what if they decide there’s no reason to tolerate me anymore? What if they decide they don’t want me to go back anymore?” His voice broke as tears threatened to spill down his cheeks. Nursey wrapped him up in a fierce hug, trying to squeeze all the sadness and fear out of Dex from sheer force of will.

“If they can’t love you exactly as you are, without expecting anything in return, then they don’t deserve you.”

“Do you really mean that?” Dex said, sounding so small and scared that it made something in Nursey’s stomach twist.

“Of course, Will. You’re fucking incredible. You’re so smart, driven, and hard-working. How could anyone not love you? Trust me, I couldn’t even manage it and I spent the last few years actively trying not to.”

“What?” Dex whispered, wriggling around until Nursey relaxed his grip enough for Dex to be able to lean back and look him in the eye.

“Don’t make me say it again,” Nursey mumbled, “I’m not that brave.”

“You’re the most unapologetically yourself person I know! Being unafraid to be yourself is like the bravest.”  Nursey bit his lip and looked away, unable to meet Dex’s eyes.

“Wasn’t brave enough to tell you how I felt about you for almost three whole years.”

“Then I guess we’re lucky my drunk self is braver than the both of us,” Dex laughed, pulling Nursey into a breathtaking kiss.

_/|\_

“Sorry it took so long, Cait dist-” Chowder stopped short halfway through the door of the bungalow at the sight of Dex and Nursey wrapped up in a tangle of limbs, sleeping soundly. A halo of missed glitter sparkled around and all over them.

“Aw,” he smiled, quietly snapping a picture on his phone, “Infinite fines, bitches.”

[love-anddeepression]

IT’S SPICY!-Kaz Brekker x Desi!Fem!reader 

Another desi blurb for my desi girls, anyone can read it cause I’m not describing the reader. Hope you like it! Translations at the end!

Requested-Nope

Warnings: hindi swears!!!

Taglist- @confuscita​ @staytrueblue @scandalous-chaos​ @mrs-brekker15​ @messers-moony-lupin @sirisuorionblack​​

Summary-You and Jesper argue over whose food is better, so you both prepare some food and feed them to none other than Kaz Brekker.(I’ve kept the dishes reader makes vegetarian okay? sorry to my non-veg peeps, dont worry tho, you’re going to get more in the next few days!)

Jesper! I’m telling you! Nothing beats an amazing paneer subzi! with pulao.”

“and I’m telling you that nothing beats an amazing pasta!” Jesper argued.

“ Oh really? Fine. Jesper Llewllyn Fahey, I challenge you to a cookoff, to see who’s food is better!” you get up and stand in front of him.

“ Challenge accepted! and who should we feed our food too? Nina would not like it since both the dishes are not sweet. Inej is out, Wylan is spending some time with his mother and you’re boyfriend is brooding as always.” Jesper looked around the Slat.

“We’ll feed it to Kaz, he secretly likes eating so he’ll eat anything we give him,” you say.

“ I don’t believe that” Jesper replies.

“ No one does, Jes, No one does.”

“AH saala chutiya thel!” you shriek as the oil splatters when you add the curry leaves.

“ Angel? Are you okay?” Kaz immediately comes over as you put your hand under water.

“ I’m fine Jaaneyman. Don’t worry”  you add the mustard seeds and start mixing everthing.

“ What are you making?” Kaz asks.

“ Jesper and I are having a cook-off to see whose food is better and you’re going to be the judge.”

It’s because you’re so close to him that you can just manage to hear the small ‘yes’ he lets out.

“So what are you making?” he sits on the counter and stretches his bad leg out.

“ I am making some Indian food because I want you to finally taste some actual food instead of the bland, boiled food you eat.” you add the dal and the water and cover the pot, moving to making the paneer ka subzi.

“Not exactly disagreeing with you about the bland food angel.” saying so, he pecks your head and leaves.

~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~>~

“ Jesper, what are you making?” you ask the sharpshooter as he makes a sauce of some kind.

“ I am making my special pasta love, and let me tell you, you’re food doesn’t stand a chance!”

“ We’ll see Jes, we’ll see. Now to make the pulao!” 

~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?

Finally after a few hours, Kaz is seated at the head of the table, fork and spoon in each hand as you and Jesper set the table up.

“ Okay Kaz, I’ve made my special two-sauce pasta, it’s a modification of my dad’s recipe and it’s a simple pasta with white sauce, mixed with red sauce and chicken.” Jesper announces as he serves Kaz his pasta.

Kaz takes a few bites while nodding and occasionally taking a sip of water.

“ This is good Jes.” he pushes the plate away.

Jesper whoops in delight, “ HA! Dirtyhands himself said my food was good, your’s doesn’t stand a chance!” he points at you and laughs.

You roll you’re eyes and give Kaz a plate of pulao, with a bowl of dal and some paneer.

He discreetly licks his lips and takes a spoonful of dal-chawal, And he instantly turns red.

“ Kaz? You okay?” you look at him.

He nods before taking a glass of water and chugging it down.

“ It’s spicy!” he breathes out.

“ It’s dal chawal! It’s literally the blandest indian dish ever!”

“ But why is it so spicy?”

“ It isn’t! Jes try some!” you tell the sharpshooter who is gawking at the sight of dirtyhands whining like a child for water.

Gingerly, Jes takes a bite.

“ This is amazing! Screw my pasta! and Kaz, this isn’t spicy what the hell?”

“ White people.” you scoff.

“ Honestly.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~````````

translations!!

jaaneyman-my life(nickname)

saala chutiya- (they’re basically swear words)

thel-oil

Dal- lentil soup ig?

chawal-rice

pulao-flavoured rice

paneer-cottage cheese

[silma-words]

14. “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” for adrian x mc?

N/A: Thank you for the prompt @detectivedumortain 😊 I don’t know if this is what you had in mind, but I hope you will like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pairing: Adrian Raines x MC (Ellie)

Rating: PG-13

Warning: Alcohol consumption

Category: Random fluff

Summary: Bloodbound AU (after book 1 – the events of book 2 never happened) – While Ellie is gone out with her friends, Adrian receives a much unexpected message from her after she has had one too many drinks…

Inspired by prompt #14 from Prompt List #1: “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”

Words: 2450

**Disclaimer: Characters and background plot are the property of Pixelberry.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hangover

Adrian was lying lazily on his couch, nose buried deep in the folds of an old worn-out book, when a sound made him jump out of his concentration, drawing his attention to the phone lying face down on the coffee table. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting between the device and the page he very much wanted to keep exploring. When the ping was immediately followed by another four, he smiled fondly and dropped the book onto his lap, knowing with certainty who these texts would be from.

*You don’t know what you’re missing*

*Drop your boring book and join us*

*I promise you won’t regret it*

*They have that fancy whiskey you love, Macallan Sherry Oak*

*And play decent music that even you would approve of*

Her texts made him chuckle, secretly filling him with warmth knowing that she was thinking about him on her night out with Lily and a few of their friends. As much as Adrian wanted to spend all of his time with her if he could, he was convinced that they both needed some time for themselves once in a while. Especially when Ellie and Lily were planning to meet with some of their common friends, with whom it was always a little tricky to keep up appearances to make sure they did not find out about the vampire world.

Adrian was not a huge fan of texting, but he couldn’t leave her hanging. That, and he also did appreciate the chance to interact a little with her despite the distance.

*Macallan Sherry Oak, hum? Consider me impressed*

The fact that she remembered which whiskey his favourite was made him smile. She did not lie during her interview: she did have a great memory.

*Sounds tempting, but maybe another time? I feel that I’d enjoy this new bar way more with you alone*

Once he read over his text again, he worried for a second that it might have been a tad too blunt. He really needed to get a hand around these ‘emoji’ thingies, and start using those. It took a few minutes until the phone pinged again with her response.

*Is that a date then, Mr Raines?*

The winking smiley face ending her message eased his worries instantly. Another proof that emojis did actually have a purpose.

*Sure it is, Miss Reed*

His answer was met with a flurry of pictograms, making him smile brightly, before he drifted back to his reading, confident that Ellie would be soon too distracted by her friends to continue their exchange. And he was right. His phone remained awfully quiet for hours, letting him indulge in his ‘boring book’ (her words) and slowly doze off on the sofa.

When he eventually woke up from his unexpected nap, his attention was captured by the flickering light of his phone, indicating that he had missed a few notifications while he was out. A couple of work emails, a few newsflash from his financial news app, and... eleven text messages, and five missed calls. All from Ellie.

He raised up quickly to sit properly and open the messages, a ball forming in his throat at the idea that maybe something had happened. It wouldn’t be the first time. This woman had a talent for trouble. But his worries faded instantly upon browsing quickly over her texts, which were... nothing but a succession of random pictures of her evening, accompanied by random sentences full of typos. The series of text ended with a bunch of random fruit and veg emoji that Adrian was not quite sure how to interpret.

Adrian chortled at this. Well, the girls were having a good night by the looks of it!

Checking the timing of her missed calls, he saw that these had been only a few minutes apart, but that she had eventually left a couple of voice messages. He could not repress a laughter upon hearing her inebriated voice as he started listening to the first recording, nearly able to picture from her pitch the blissful smile that must have adorned her lips as she spoke.

*Hey, handsome! I guess you’re probably asleep or something but... huumm, I just wanted to hear your voice... because I... hum, well... I guess ‘cause I’m missing you like crazy right now and I wish you were here... although tis’ probably best you’re not, you’d probably be embarrassed of my sorry drunk ass right now but... aaarh, I guess I just wanted you to know that I miss you, even if I see you aaaalll the tiiiime and... aaarrg I probably shouldn’t say that... you’re goin’ to freak out and think I’m like some kind of overly needy panda bear clinging to your leg... oh god, why the hell am I sayin’ t...* /end of message/

Adrian’s smile was nearly reaching his ears by the time that first message was cut by the robotic voice, the corner of his eyes crinkled with amusement, but his eyes gleaming with warmth at the sound of Ellie’s declaration. The seconds he had to wait for the next voice message to play nearly seemed interminable.

*Hum, well... sorry about that... hum… right, hum… nevermind! Well, I should probably get going now and leave you to whatever your old ass is doin’ right now but… aaarh I guess I’ll see you soon at work on Monday anyway… or before if you want, or… but if you don’t that’s fine… aaarh ok, that’s me hanging up now, before I get even weirder… byyyye!! I love you!.......... ooohhh sh…* /end of message/

Well. That was a hell of a message. Adrian was beaming, the sound of her voice still ringing in his ears, the sweetness and awkwardness of her ramble warming his body all over. And his heart was slowly restarting after it had jumped and landed with a thud when he had heard her last words.

He had definitely not been expecting that. Neither did she, by the sound of the muttered curse that seemed to have followed. Neither of them had spoken these words before. Neither of them had dared rushing things by voicing their feelings out loud. Although to Adrian, those feelings were as clear as day. Silently expressed in the way he looked at her, touched her, cared for her. But he did not want to presume that Ellie was feeling the same, although he had been desperately hoping so. Hearing her saying it out loud was a relief, an unexpected gift that he was not still entirely sure he deserved.

But what to do now? Should he say it back? Run to find her to tell her he felt the same? She might not even remember saying it, judging by the state of intoxication she seemed to have been under when she called. She might even regret it, or might not have even meant it. The conflicting thoughts now rushing through his head instantly washed down the smile from his lips. Oh God, it was like being a teenager all over again!

He had to go and see her. At least to check if she had made it home ok.

His mood swinging from elation to anxiety as he was replaying her messages in his head, he made his way to Lily’s and Ellie’s apartment, eager to see her but nervous about what he should say. That journey seemed to last forever. So did waiting at the door for someone to let him in, his ears trained on the slow and familiar heartbeat he could hear through the solid wood. Luckily, Lily was quick to answer the door, although she was clearly surprised.

“Hey A!” she greeted him with a smile, before furrowing her brows in concern. “Oh no, what kind of messages did she send you? Did she freak you out?! That was a bit of a struggle at some point to get her hands away from her stupid phone..!”

“No, no, don’t worry Lily”, he reassured her. “I… I just wanted to check up on her as the night seemed to have been quite… wild?”.

Lily sniggered at his choice of words.  “Oh yeah, that was a good night!”, she beamed, gesturing for him to come in, before adding with a grin, “… although I don’t know what Ellie would say right now… I had kind of forgotten the lovely after-effects that overly sweet and cheap cocktails can have on a human organism… and so did she, I reckon.”

Lily giggled a little at this, shooting an adorable apologetic grin at Adrian as if to prevent him from even thinking about blaming her for Ellie’s massive hangover. If she had reached that stage yet.

“Well, may I go and see the damage for myself?” he asked with a grin.

“Be my guest! But I hope you have learnt how to block your nostrils over the years, coz in there... yuk!”

They both shared a laugh at this, as Adrian dropped his coat and jacket on a chair before heading towards Ellie's room, bracing himself as he knocked softly at the door “Ellie? May I come in?”

His call was met by the sounds of ruffling sheets and by an intelligible grumble that he interpreted as a ‘yes'. Slowly pushing the door open, his eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness of the room to find Ellie’s form, surprisingly not tucked in the sheets, but instead awkwardly sat on the floor by her bed. Her cheek was resting on the edge of the mattress, her arms sprawled around her head lazily as if to prevent herself from slipping off to the floor.

Adrian quietly crossed the room to kneel by her side, laying a comforting hand between her shoulder blades while reaching over her arm to brush away the sticky strands of hair from her face, revealing a pale figure staring ahead into nothingness, her mouth slightly open as she was taking in shallow breaths.

“Oh sweetheart…” he sighted softly, offering her a warming smile as her eyes finally seemed to have focused on him. Caressingly gently the burning skin of her temple, he offered: “Do you want to stay down here, or do you want me to move you to the bed?”

It took Ellie a while to answer, as if gathering her thoughts as well as her strength to voice them was beyond achievable for her. She finally nodded weakly, her lips finally moving to let her feeble voice out: “I tried but… couldn’t get back on the bed after I…”.

Nodding back at her to show her that she did not need to say any more, he pressed a quick peck on her forehead before gently moving around to collect her limp body in his arms and deposit her carefully onto the bed. Helping her out of her clothes was the next step, and Ellie did not complain whatsoever during the whole process, focused on keeping her eyes closed to try to ignore what this shuffling around was doing to her stomach. Once he was done, Adrian sat by her side on the edge of the bed, one hand holding hers onto his lap, the other on the side of her neck so he could brush his thumb over her cheek soothingly.  

“Sounded like you had a great night yesterday” Adrian teased, as Ellie looked at him with foggy eyes, attempting to raise a sceptical brow but failing miserably.

“Yes we had… but” she had to stop for a second, her stomach heaving dangerously, “not so much fun now”.

“Yes I can imagine”, he chuckled lightly, his eyes roaming over her features to check everything else was alright.

Lost in the peaceful silence that was filling in the room as she was gradually relaxing next to him, securely tucked in in the bedsheets, Adrian had nearly forgotten why he had initially rushed to her place. That was until he saw her eyes suddenly snap open and her brow furrow, as she broke the silence to ask: “Wait… what do you mean by ‘sounded like you had a great night’?”

Well, at least that answered his previous concern that she might not remember was she had said in her messages. He could just pretend that nothing out of the ordinary happened, and leave it at that, hoping that those words would grace her lips once more in the near future, under better circumstances. Hopefully. Except he did not want to pretend. Or could not.

“You don’t remember calling me last night?”, he asked softly, unable to hide the gleam of expectation in his eyes.

Her frown and confused gaze answered his question before her lips did. “No I….” she started, before suddenly widening her eyes in silent realisation, as glimpses of last night’s drunk endeavours resurfaced to hit her in the face. Eyes wide, she was starting to remember… bits after bits… and then all of it.

“Oh nooooo…”, she muttered, the blood somehow suddenly finding its way back to her cheeks despite the weakness of her body. If the flush of her skin and the thumping of her heart were not enough to ensure Adrian that she was now remembering everything she had said, the sheepish smile that adorned her face as she dropped her eyes to their joined hands was proof enough.

Squeezing her hand a little more tightly, he braced himself: “Ellie, I…”

But as he was about to speak, Ellie suddenly straightened up in the bed, covering her mouth with her hand and she heaved once more, her body violently reminding her that now was not the time for heart-to-heart conversations. No. Now was the time for her to pay the consequences for over indulging on G&Ts and margaritas a few hours before.

Clutching Adrian’s arm to keep herself up, she pleaded weakly, the corner of her mouth curled in a feeble smile that showed that she was admitting defeat: “Adrian, please… just… please, be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to…. I’m gonna need you to carry me to the bathroom…”.

If Adrian was a little disappointed, he did not show it. Probably because he knew that now was clearly not the right time to discuss this. And probably because he could see the reassurance in her eyes that she was not going to take her words back. They would get to this part again eventually, there was no point in rushing things just because the alcohol had loosened her lips.

Smiling at her warmly, he simply nodded, pushing the bedsheets away to cradle her trembling body once more in his arms and carry her to the bathroom. She was right. Now was not the right time. He would tell her. Eventually. Just not right now.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @adriansbiss, @itsjustwinter, @shanzay44, @purvishraick

If anyone wants to be added/removed from the tag list, let me know!

@choicesficwriterscreations​

[thegreenwolf]

(This post was originally posted on my blog at https://thegreenwolf.com/its-okay-to-not-hustle/)

There’s this meme going around Facebook right now, saying “If you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, your side hustle started, or more knowledge, you never lacked time. You lacked discipline.” Thankfully multiple people have already skewered it, but it continues to be shared around by the sort of person who is trying to one-up everyone else, or who’s just plain clueless–or, for that matter, just trying to guilt you into buying whatever they’re selling.

Now, there’s not a damned thing wrong with self-promotion. That’s how indie artists, authors, and other self-employed folks get the word out. You have to be able to talk good talk in order to get people’s attention. But leading with this meme? Guilting people for not leaping from sudden unemployment straight into the thick of the ever-shifting gig economy? That ain’t gonna fly, Brocephus.

You Have Good Reasons to Slack

Excuse me while I dust off my counseling psych degree a sec, here. *ahem* We are in a very sensitive, turbulent time right now. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in a century in the Western world. We are in a hugely traumatizing situation here. Not just for the financial losses, but the fact that COVID-19 has killed thousands of people and left many more with permanent lung damage. We still haven’t gotten a handle yet on exactly how contagious this thing is, how long you’re contagious for, or whether you’re immune once you’ve had it, assuming you survive. We don’t have adequate testing, emergency rooms estimate that for every positive test there are 10-20 people out there infected and untested, and everyone with a cough is suddenly Schroedinger’s COVID case. Governments worldwide are slow to react in spite of the rising death toll. People have had friends and family die horribly from this thing in a short period of time. Even people who didn’t already have issues with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses are feeling stressed, strained and scared–and, yes, traumatized. This image is guilt-tripping people who are actively being traumatized.

So we’re already starting with a populace that is dealing with this collective trauma, as well as whatever personal trauma each individual is experiencing. Not always easy to seize the day when you’re going through that. And I can think of a few other reasons that might further complicate this whole “Just get a side gig!” thing:

–They’re a parent who suddenly has all their kids at home, all the time, demanding time and attention and food, AND they still have to work eight hours a day from home, or maybe even more if their S.O. is unemployed/sick/etc. By the way, if someone trots out Isaac Newton or William Shakespeare or some other historical guy who managed to do epic things during a pandemic, remember that they usually had wives or servants to do all the laundry and cooking and cleaning and (if applicable) childcare for them.

–They’re disabled or chronically ill, and don’t have the ability/energy/etc. to just go and make something happen, just like that. Imagine if you just randomly got the fatigue from a really bad flu, and you never knew whether it was going to last a day or a month. And if you tried exerting yourself when you were feeling better, chances are you’d slip back into fatigue-land. That’s what a lot of my chronically ill/etc. friends have to deal with, to say nothing of issues with accessibility of resources for starting a side gig.

–They don’t have any money for the supplies needed to start a side hustle, or the supplies have been hoarded by hobbyists preparing for a Pandemic Staycation.

–They don’t have the skills for something that just requires what they already have (like, for example, writing on a laptop you already happen to own). Often these skills are things that can’t be perfected in a few weeks at home, but may take years to develop before they’re really marketable–like, for example, the skill to make a decent living on side hustles.

–They have anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions that make it hard to function even in the best of times, but even moreso in this…well…mess. Even people who were mentally healthy before are going to be developing diagnosable anxiety and depression disorders before all’s said and done. And speaking from personal experience, those of us who look successful on the outside can still be internally hamstrung by these conditions at times.

–Plus there’s the fact that we’re not supposed to, you know, leave our homes, which narrows down the field of potential side gigs by a lot.

Even doing something less financially-wrought like learning a new skill or subject takes time, energy, and sometimes money, any or all of which may be scarce for the reasons above and more.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I am saying all of this as someone who is arguably an expert on the side gig. I have spent the past eight and a half years 100% self-employed (and a lot longer doing it part-time) as an author and artist, able to cover all my bills and expenses, and for a time I was the primary breadwinner of a multi-person household. I have like ten different things I was doing for a living before this all hit, a pretty diverse set of streams of income, even if most of them just up and evaporated in the past few weeks. And while I’m definitely a hell of a lot leaner now than I was a month ago, I still have my head above water for the moment. So I think I know side gigs.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m overall healthy. I have a dog who is a lot less demanding of my time than kids would be. I have my own space where I can focus more or less without interruption. More importantly, I have the skills, the knowhow, the drive and the personality to go out and seek new opportunities. And I’m used to fluctuations in income, though admittedly this one’s unprecedented. Don’t gauge yourself by where I am now. I’ve spent twenty-two years building up my art business, my first book came out in 2006, and I’ve had a series of really good opportunities come my way that I had the privilege to be able to make the most of. I am not your measuring stick, so don’t say “Well, if she can do it why can’t I? I must suck!”

If you’re feeling crappy because you aren’t hopping to it and carpeing the diem and getting everything done, here’s what I have to say to you: Look, you just had your world turned upside-down. Job loss, scarce commodities, sudden lack of outside childcare, restricted movement and inability to be around much of your support system, and did I mention a pandemic is happening, too? Any single one of those things would be difficult for just about anyone to deal with, never mind all at once. And I don’t even know what all else has already been going on in your life–unstable or unsafe living situation, other health issues, breakups and other losses, interpersonal conflicts. You know, normal life stuff.

You’re Not Lazy, or Screwing Up, or (Gods Forbid) Undisciplined

It is totally okay if all you’re doing right now is surviving. It’s okay if you feel like you’re drowning, overwhelmed by all that’s happening both on a global level and more personally. It’s okay if all you can manage right now is to get out of bed and stumble through each day a moment at a time, struggling with a tidal wave of emotions. It’s okay if you’re just trying to keep your kids busy, dealing with a crowded home every single day, or trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. It’s okay if, instead of firing up DuoLingo or opening an Etsy shop, you spend your evenings vegging to Netflix or reading a book or playing hours and hours of Animal Crossing.

Not every moment in your life has to be about being productive even in the best of circumstances, and that goes exponentially so right now. Be patient with yourself, and be kind. You may be one of those folks who literally has to spend all their time scrabbling to try to cover the bills or get some leeway from bill collectors, and you have to dedicate your waking time hunting for resources just to try to get through this week. Believe me, I feel for you, I have a lot of friends in that situation right now, and I hope all of you can find some relief and assistance.

May I suggest something? If you have the energy for something more than the bare essentials of getting by, put that energy toward self-care, whatever you can manage under the circumstances. You can use it to recuperate, to rebuild your emotional and physical resilience. That way if things get rough again in the future, you have more internal reserves to build on. If your usual methods don’t work or aren’t accessible due to lockdown, ask others what they’re doing to keep themselves grounded in this trying time.

Just because you have more time doesn’t mean you don’t have to throw yourself right into something productive! Don’t feel pressured to just go-go-go the moment you have a little freedom to move. If you do decide you want to try a side gig, or a new skill, or learn all about some specialized topic of interest, go for it! If you have the energy and attention and opportunity to pursue something new, it can be a great coping skill during this traumatic time. Just don’t pressure yourself; keep it fun.

One last thing: I want you to save the image I have at the top of this post. And then if you see someone post that meme, saying “Come on, you lazy bums, get up and make that side gig happen! Learn new stuff! Do all the things! No excuses!” you pull out this version, and you look at the edits, you remember that it’s okay to be where you are, and you get back to doing things at your own pace no matter what someone else says. (I find visualizing stapling a printout of the edited version to the offender’s forehead to also be therapeutic, but that may just be me.)

Hang in there, okay? It’s going to be a rough time, but you’re not alone, and what you’re feeling right now is shared by so many people. So just let yourself be where you are in this moment, and we’ll see what hope tomorrow brings. And remember that whatever you’re capable of in this moment: it’s enough.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider supporting my work on Patreon, buying my books here on my website, buying my art and books on Etsy, or tipping me at Ko-fi!

[ofhouseadama]

Let's do Bundled and Ultimate

Bundled - describe your ideal date

I am genuinely a sucker for a good dinner with a good bottle of wine followed by a stay in a hotel room. I love hotel room sex, there's something unquantifiable about it. But the most fun has always been going to wrestling shows and just getting fully unhinged together. We have all the same favorites, and some of the most special and meaningful emotional moments we've had were because of wrestling -- we drove four hours from Charlotte to Atlanta in Feb 2019 to be in the building for Roman Reigns' cancer update and saw his return to wrestling. (Later that night I held my wife's hand while on my feet screaming "DADDY" at Dean Ambrose as he took his belt off to beat another man with it, but that's a different kind of special.) Our first date was watching Hell in a Cell 2018 together. While we were in an LDR we watched Monday Night Raw together as a standing date. We went to Clash of Champions in Charlotte for our first anniversary and met Jeff Hardy after. It's just Our Thing.

Ultimate - What's your favorite holiday experience

Besides everything I just talked about -- I love doing a Christmas brunch instead of a Christmas dinner. It's one of the few holiday traditions that my family did that I've taken with me. It's nice to open gifts and then just make a nice big breakfast casserole and sides and just veg out for the rest of the day. Low stress.

[xiaojaan]

jay bestie i’m so sorry for not sending an ask! :( so much has been happening and i didn’t want to half-ass anything. but how are you? what did you do, since today’s a sunday? what are you doing right now? can you believe it’s only a few days till i have to reveal myself? qkdhjsj 😭😭 in other news, i got two bottles of pastel nail polish for christmas! what did you get? and i texted back my ex and now we’re talking normally again and it feels really great 😳😳 i just realised i miss him because he was my best friend and then after him i just kinda. had no one, you know? 😕 but he’s not mad at me, he said, so it’s all good now :) what’s your favourite lays flavour? maaza frooty or slice? oH also my mother made pancakes at home today! they were so sweet 🥴🥴 have you ever tried them? have you ever tried sausages? i tried them once and loved them!! i’ll be back tonight, probably 🎀

it's okay bestie!! i have been ok ig bfndk few hours ago i sprained my ankle and ngl it hurts bad 🤕 so a little less okay bjdk i have been spending weekend beside books :/ literally didnt do anything else bc i have an economics exam tmrw and idk i feel like i wouldnt know anything in exam even if i have studied it all so rip. yess!!! and im super excited for the reveal bdjsks !! omg thats nice! any kinds of pastel colours always look good on nails i never put nail paint but deff what i would go for if i did. eh well we don't really celebrate Christmas in our family it's just the youngest kid who gets gifts and so i gave my bro some toys and stuff as santa and he was super happy w them it was so 🥺🥺. i was making that oven cake yesterday tho... and likr everything else thats a trainwreck in my life it turned out that the flavour mom had bought needed eggs as an ingredient. and we dont eat eggs so i made a whole batter and mixed it (all while being anxious as hell to do it right bc i barely do anything in the kitchen😳💀) for it to just be a semi solid white liquid in microwave 🥴 it smelled good tho bfjdkd we didnt think of googling a substitute to eggs and had throw it away :| aksvskfbsk texting ex is a dangerous game 😳 bjsksk but im so glad that u are on good terms now always better than having bitter feelings for each other. im glad u feel good talking to them. oooh the dark blue lays !!! dont rmr it's name (indian spices?) but its The Superior one. damn i havent had it in ages u got me yearning for it now 🤤 maaza is ok too but frooti forever!!! nooo havent had pancakes or sausages (isnt that meat?) not sure but yea im veg so. no i want to try pancakes thooo bdjsk i do have a sweet tooth so i might like them 😳it's good talking to u bestie glad ur well im gonna go back to studying now *sigh*

[deniigi]

Do you have any soft Mike and Matt moments by chance? I know Mike is such a little shit, but ugh I always think of him as super over protective of Matt bc he is the ‘nice’ one. To me honestly I’ll take anything lol

Yes, anon.

I do indeed :)

---

It was always a treat coming back to New York. Bumming around Chicago and New Jersey and Minneapolis was never quite the same, no matter how similar the clothes or the drapes or the atmosphere of the city’s underbelly.

New York was just something right. Always exciting. Always pulsing with tension right underneath the surface. People were always checking over their shoulders. Tucking their bags tighter under their arms. Moving their wallets and phones out of back pockets and into front ones and breast ones.

Folks knew from the start that the city would take what it wanted when it wanted it if you weren’t vigilant.

And speaking of vigilant, New York City had the added benefit of being home to Mike’s dear, dear, violent, vigilante baby brother.

Well, baby was relative.

Eleven minutes of separation wasn’t quite enough to be throwing around words like ‘baby’ and ‘elder’, but you know what?

Matt had always been the baby.

Soft-hearted. Soft-spoken. Shy. Blind.

He’d needed more help. Always had needed more help. He didn’t want it. Never wanted it.

But New York City didn’t care about what Matty wanted or needed. It dragged him down into its gushing, oily depths, and left him suspended there.

Always drowning. Always fighting to get his head above water.

Matt was too soft for this world, still, no matter how hard he’d gotten.

He acted like he was someone else, someone different, someone unrecognizable when Mike came to visit him now and again.

And like, yeah.

Boy was more angry than Mike was used to seeing him. But the simpering and cowering had vanished in recent years for something that Mike was deeply proud of.

His baby brother.

The devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

Look at baby go.

  --

Matt was used to Mike opening his window every few months for a quick place to crash. Mike thought he purposefully left it unlocked. These days, when Mike dropped by the city for a whirlwind adventure and a taste of roiling, boiling freedom, he usually found the apartment empty.

Matty was out with the best of them. Roiling and boiling.

Bless him.

Mike opened the window this time and stepped carefully over the sill and into the kitchen sink and immediately noticed a set of keys on the counter with no less than three different paper bags set in a line around them.

They looked greasy, but there wasn’t a strong smell.

He stepped out of the sink onto the tile and touched one of the bags.

Cold.

Well, shit.

  --

Matty always got the short end of the stick. It was how things were. It was one of the rules of the universe that twins never shared anything all the way through.

So Mike got the good luck and Matty got the bad luck.

Easy as that.

He was sleeping when Mike stuck his head into his room.

Not in a nice way. Not in a good way.

He was just sleeping.

Mike stepped in closer and slowly sat down on the end of the mattress.

Matt’s lip was scabbed and he had red and blue and purple all down the side of his face. He had stitches covered with sheer gauze on his neck.

The rest of him was swamped by his massive, heavy duvet.

“Rough times, Matty?” Mike asked his sleeping body.

Matt didn’t respond.

Mike patted the duvet over his shoulder.

“I gotchu, little brother,” he said. “I gotchu.”

  ---

The bags on the table were days cold. The fridge was nearly empty but for a few beer bottles. The whole place smelled of disuse. And Matt didn’t come out of his room in the morning.

Mike sat up from the uncomfortable couch, tossed the throw back over it, and went to hunt through the linen closet for a towel.

  ---

By noon, the place was aired and bright. It was early spring so it was a bit cold to have all the windows flung open, but hey.

Needs must sometimes.

Mike wiped out the inside of the fridge. Took Matty’s keys off the counter and borrowed a pair of sneakers—of course, the same size.

He went around the block to the bodega that he knew Matt favored above all the others in the area. Fresh produce. Local milk and butter. Matty was friends with the owner’s daughter; had stuck his neck out for her and her kids and her daddy.

He was soft like that.

The daughter thought Mike was him when he brought his garden of a shopping basket up to her register.

She asked him what had happened to his cane and if he needed help getting home.

Mike tapped down his glasses and smiled and told her it was mighty nice to know that folks in the neighborhood were looking after his younger twin brother.

She was shocked. Then worried because ‘Mr. Murdock’ always did his own shopping and was always asking her about these berries and those greens.

She swapped out half of Mike’s basket for better choices of fruit and veg for one of the place’s most valued customers. And then she impressed a load of health-nut-lookin’ snacks onto Mike and normally, he’d chuck ‘em and say that the two of them were brought up on PB&J and goldfish crackers like everyone else, ma’am, but they were already prepped and didn’t seem overwhelmingly portioned, so he decided that this time he’d spend his dime on that cute little brother.

Just this once, though. Don’t go getting any ideas, Matty.

  ---

He got back and dumped everything onto the counter.

So much green, Christ. It was as if he’d bought out the stock of the florist three blocks over.

Whatever.

Healthy body, healthy mind and all that.

He started twisting the greens off carrots and pulling off the outer leaves of cabbage. He found Matt’s Tupperware collection and the biggest bowl he had and set to rinsing and soaking and peeling and chopping.

It took some hunting to find the braille label maker and soon enough, the fridge was crammed with boxes and boxes of bright colors with labels all facing out.

‘Carrot rounds.’

‘Cabbage pieces.’

‘Minced Onion.’

And so on and so on.

Matt still didn’t come out of his room and that was too bad for him because Mike was working his way through the house’s linens now.

All of the towels went into the wash first.

As they went into the drier, the throws went into the wash.

The ballgame played while the towels were folded. Then the throws were replaced with all the pillow cases and a load of socks and clothes Matt didn’t notice Mike stealing from his still-darkened room.

Eventually Mike ran out of things to batter in the machine and so he had to bite the bullet.

He put hands on his hips and stood over Matty, still curled up in that damn duvet, facing away from the door this time.

When they were little, Matt had had a bunny which was kind of like his security blanket. God help them all if they left home without bunny. Dad used to swear Mike to secrecy when he caught him stealing bunny from his and Matt’s bedroom.

Mike had crossed his heart every time, and Dad had always swept him up and let him ride on his shoulders while he did the laundry and Matty napped in the other room.

Dad wasn’t here anymore though, so it fell to Mike as the oldest to do things while Matty slept.

Unfortunately, laundry waits for no man, sleeping, depressed, or otherwise.

“Heya bud,” he said cheerfully to Matt’s duvet. “I got good news and bad news for you.”

Matt mumbled something incoherent into the mattress.

Mike took the opportunity to start prying him out of it. He didn’t love it.

“Ge’ off,” Matt huffed, burrowing.

Mike lifted an eyebrow and balled his fists in the sheets.

“The good news is that its time for a bath, the bad news is that you gotta take it,” he announced.

“Mike, no. Just—go away,” Matt huffed.

Nope.

“Sorry not sorry,” Mike said brightly.

Then he yanked.

  ---

Depression ran in their family like a river. Matty got the worst of it from their mama. Mike got the anxiety from their daddy. It was only fair.

It meant that Mike knew that making Matt take a shower and washing all his bedding against his will would result in tears and bitterness in the short term, but a happier and less apathetic Matt in the long term.

Matt came out of the shower and wanted to go back to bed.

Mike made him curl up on the couch in the sun and the fresh air instead. His room wasn’t done airing.

Matt hated that. He told Mike to fuck off at least twenty times before falling back to sleep, but it was no matter. Mike was used to him being like this.

He kept the game on and sat on the couch arm and ran a few fingers through Matty’s hair when he was good and asleep.

  ----

Bed made.

Room aired.

Brother fed (somewhat).

Wounds examined and redressed.

“Why are you here this time?” Matt asked him as he guided him back to the newly made bed.

“Love,” Mike crooned. “I heard your distress and came running.”

Matt scoffed.

“Money,” he said.

“That too,” Mike beamed. “But the deals will wait.”

“I’m fine, just go,” Matt sighed. He pulled his legs back up onto the bed and set about burying himself in covers once more.

“Okay, I’ll go,” Mike said. “But I’ll be back in a few hours, yeah?”

Matt mumbled under the blankets.

“What’d you say, there friend? Some of us don’t got superhearing, remember?” Mike reminded him.

“I said be careful,” Matt spat.

Oh, right.

That was.

Right.

“I will be,” Mike said, maybe a touch softer than intended.

“Don’t stay out too long,” Matty huffed into his pillow.

“Will do,” Mike said, heading back towards the living room. He stopped with his hand on the doorframe.

Matt made a grumpy questioning sound under the covers.

Mike swallowed.

“You know I love you, right?” he said. “And you’re not alone right now.”

There was a long pause.

“I know,” Matt sighed. “I love you, too. Don’t bet on any horses.”

Mike laughed.

“Stallions only, got it,” he said. “Be back soon!”

He kept the sneakers for the time being.

An eye for an eye.

 ---

[jos-corner-of-the-world]

Last House on the Left - {34}

{Thirty Three}{Master List}

Over the next few weeks, you and Shownu had hung out quite a bit. He'd taken you to the library he works at and even brought you lunch a couple days at work. 

You talked on the phone sporadically and text him about your day. 

It wasn't awkward anymore, but I didn't feel like dating yet either.  You didn't quite understand, so you took your concern to Mei.

"It feels like friendship." You told her when the two of you were at dinner one night.

"Is that bad?"

"No. He's fun to be around. But it feels weird almost. Like… There are things we should be doing but aren't."

"Like… sexual?" Mei asked.

"What? No! Like... other couple stuff. There's no hand holding or kissing, there's just…us. He did put his arm around the back of the couch the other night when we were watching a movie, but I don’t think it was intentional."

"Do you want him to make a move?" 

"I don't know. He's really nice, but I've not made a move either. I'm just worried about how he's feeling, but I'm too scared to ask."

"I get that. Beginnings can be hard. Would you consider him your boyfriend?"

"No. I consider him potentially a boyfriend, but not one yet. I mean, it could look to others like we are dating, but it's more like just hanging out. I'm not upset about it at all, just horribly confused. I don't think the feelings are there." You admitted.

"I think you should just ask him. Pretending the tension doesn't exist isn't okay." 

"Ugh, I know. Can you and Allen, like, not go back to China and just stay here. I can't do this without you." 

Mei laughed at your pain for a moment before answering.

"We're going to be gone for two weeks. We have to pack up and get everything to the shippers. Then I'll be here forever."

"But two weeks is forever Mei!"

"Sweetie, can I be honest for a second?"

"Well, last time you were honest you told me I had posts for legs. So...sure why not "

Mei laughed loudly before realizing her surroundings and lowered her voice.

"I think if you feel like you need me, your best friends mom, to walk you through a relationship… Maybe you're just not ready yet. And that's okay. I feel like you're trying to make something work that might not be meant to. I love you and I'm more than willing to listen to anything and everything that happens in your life, but it kills me to see this inner struggle you seem to be dealing with. I can talk with you about all of it, but inevitably the decision is between you and Shownu."

You sat quietly for a moment, digesting Mei's words.

"I hope I haven't offended you dear."

"Oh God, no. Not at all. I'm just processing it all. I just feel like if I broach it with him, it'll be horribly awkward. I'm scared to be honest. My last boyfriend, as I mentioned, was straight up not a good dude-"

"I think we settled with bastard, but go on."

"Right" you laughed. "And I feel like the next person who dates me is going to realize how lacking I am as a person. I doubt things and I get self conscious. Jisung has put a lot into my head about who I am as a person, and I fear that's going to negatively affect me in a relationship.  I feel like no one is going to want to be there for my highs and lows, because of how extreme they are. I push things away and pretend they don't exist until I have to deal with them or I'll break down completely. The worse I'm feeling, the more annoyingly fine I become. There's no man on the planet who wants to deal with that. I don't even want to deal with that. Shownu is such a nice guy, he doesn't deserve to have a mess for a girlfriend."

You had been staring at your plate through your whole monologue, afraid of what you'd see on Mei's face.

"Y/n, look at me." Mei said kindly.

You took a deep breath before putting your head up.

"First of all, you're an amazing person. Everyone has struggles and deals with them in different ways. All those things you describe make you who you are, and I love you for it. Also, if a man isn't willing to help you through your troubles, he's not worth it. You should know your worth and not let a man, or anyone, make you feel differently. Lastly, that's a lot of decisions you're making for Shownu, for any future partner. How do you know he wouldn't be there for you? How do you know he won't fight for you when you're fighting against yourself? I know you're scared, but you shouldn't make that decision for him. Talk to him, get to know each other and let him decide if he's going to be with you. But just remember, even if Shownu did learn all these things and decided he didn't want to be with you, that's okay. You'll find someone who knows you, knows your struggles and wants to be there for you. Someone who wants to anchor you and hold you when you're falling apart and laugh with you when you're happy. Just make sure to give yourself a chance."

-----

Two days later found you saying your goodbyes to Mei and Allen.

"It'll only be two weeks. Remember what we talked about? There's no time like now." Mei said as she hugged you goodbye.

"Thank you." You said as you pulled away.

"Alright. Don't burn the house down while we're gone."

"We've managed just fine this long, ma." Minghao laughed.

"Alright. We'll see you guys in a couple weeks. Call me if you need anything, anything at all." Mei said, directed more towards you.

"I will. Thank you. Love you Mei." 

Minghao turned towards you quickly, surprised to hear the words tumble from your mouth.

"Love you too sweetie. Just remember, you're worth the moon and the stars."

"Um...hello? Your son here? I love you too?"

"Yeah, yeah. Love you Ming Ming." Mei said, laughing at Minghao's irritated face.

---

You were sitting at the kitchen table an hour after Mei left, putting together color packets, when Minghao wandered into the kitchen.

"Got plans tonight?" Minghao asked you.

"Just color packets for the littles for Monday." You told him, looking up at him.

"Want to hang out tonight? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." 

"Definitely. I could use a break from...everything." you told him honestly.

"Does this have anything to do with my mom telling you that you're worth the moon and the stars?" He asked, taking a seat in the hair across from you.

"Yeah. She's been helping me with some stuff. My mind is kind of all over the place and she's helping me keep centered."

"Can I help you with anything?" Minghao asked.

"Honestly, no. It's not that I don't trust you or want to share my burdens with you, it's just...this is different. I appreciate it though, I really do."

"I know you do Y/n. I can admit defeat when I see it."

"Defeat? What are you talking about?" You asked, scared that you'd made him mad.

"I've been replaced. I no longer hold worlds greatest best friend status. It's a sad day."

"What? Minghao no, I could never replace you. You're literally the only thing keeping me sane most days. Please don't feel like I've replaced you for anyone else."

"Whoa, hey calm down. I was joking. I was talking about my mom and how close you guys seem to be."

"Jesus Christ Minghao! Don't scare me like that. I thought you were really mad at me!" You whined, reaching across the table to slap his hand.

"I mean, I kind of am serious. I knew you and ma were close because of the dinner dates and late night conversations, but I was really surprised today when you told her you loved her."

"I'm sorry, is that awkward for you?"

"Not at all. I knew you guys would be close when you met. I've spent a lot of time over these last seven months telling mom about you and our life here. She declared you the daughter she always wanted. I'm really happy you guys have connected so strongly. I was never worried she wouldn't like you, but I sometimes worried how you'd perceive her."

"Why? She's literally the most amazing person and mother ever." You told him.

"I know, but you and I are different. She spent so many years mothering me by being blunt and never backing down from a hard conversation. She tells her opinion, whether you want to know or not. Sometimes…sometimes it's what you need, but you don't want to hear. I didn't want her to push you away."

"Honestly, if I'd have met her six months ago, she may have. But the honest conversations I've had with you and Jooheon, hell even Wonwoo, have shown me that I don't need to shy away from the hard things. We had a very candid conversation at dinner the other night about myself and it reminded me a lot of our conversation the morning after Halloween. And what jooheon said about sharing struggles. I've spent the last two days thinking about a lot of things, and I realized that I don't need to hide it anymore. Those struggles and how I deal with them are what make me innately myself. And there's always room for improvement."

Minghao didn't know what to say, so he just smiled at you, happy with the turn of the conversation.

"So." He said after a long moment. "Chicken and beer? Veg out and watch some Gilmore Girls?"

"Yes to chicken and beer, no to Gilmore Girls "

"What? No Gilmore Girls?  Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, dipshit. Mingyu will kill me if I start season four without him."

"Ugh, fine. How about chicken, beer and John Wick?"

"Oh hell yeah! You order the food and I'll clean up."

"Just leave it, we can finish it later."

{Thirty Five}

[georgialouisea]

Growing Family

Pairing - Sam x Reader, Dean, Bobby (oc), Mary (oc). Word count - 1.8k Warnings - Fluff, Written for -  @spnfluffbingo2019 Squares filled - Family Pet SPN Fluff Bingo Masterlist

“Babe, we’re home!” You called out as you put the bags onto the kitchen table. Dean dumping a few bags down next to yours with a huff. Starting to unpack the groceries Dean grabbed a beer from the fridge, strolling across the room he sat down kicking his feet up onto the chair next to him crossing his legs at the ankles. “Are you gonna help or just watch?” You asked him as you took an armful of vegetables towards the fridge.

“You look like you have it handled.” Dean shrugged taking a sip from the bottle.

“Asshole.” You muttered under your breath as you opened up the fridge door putting the veg on the shelf.

“What was that sweetheart?” He asked with a smirk on his face.

“I said you’re being an ass if you didn’t want to go grocery shopping with me then why come?”

“Sammy said you might need a hand.”

“You complained around every store we went to how in the hell was that helping? That’s literally what Bobby and Mary do every time I take them, I think even they pout less than you did.”

“Fine.” With a huff Dean got up putting his beer down on the table. “What do you want me to do?”

“Just help me put everything away.”

Putting away the snacks for the kids you felt Sam’s arms wrap around your waist as you closed the cupboard door.

“Hi, you okay?” He asked leaning in to kiss your cheek.

“I will be.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Dean’s just pissing me off.”

Sam’s arms pulled away from you. “What’s he done?”

“Nothing, that’s the problem.”

“I’m helping now aren’t I?” He called from across the kitchen.

“I swear it’s like having another child sometimes.”

“Ignore him.” Sam reached out taking your hand. “I have something to show you.” He smiled down at you

“Where are the kids?” You asked concerned with the silence in the bunker.

“Kind of what I have to show you.”

“Lemme finish putting this lot away, then I can -”

“Dean has it.” Sam cut you off. “Just come with me.”

“Ominous.”

“Not exciting?” Sam winked at you as he began to lead you out of the kitchen.

“So where have you stashed our kids, you haven’t given them to Castiel again have you because that was a nightmare, took me God knows how many washes to get that paint out of Cas’ trenchcoat.”

“No they’re not with Cas, they’ve been with me all day, they’re in our room.” Sam explained as he walked you both towards your bedroom.

“Sammy what’s going on?” You asked as you looked up from your closed bedroom door.

“Just wait…” Letting go of your hand he leaned forward turning the doorknob he pushed the door open, letting go his hand rested on your waist giving it a small squeeze.

As the door to your room opened you could see your son and daughter sat on your bed with a golden lab puppy sat in between them, his paws on Bobby’s leg as he reached up licking his cheek.

“Oh my God, Sam -”

“We’ve been talking about getting a dog for years then I saw this little guy and I couldn’t leave him at the shelter.”

“Oh my God.” Sam let go of you letting you walk further into the room to meet the newest member of your family.

“Daddy said he looks like the dog you had when you were a little girl.” Your six-year-old son grinned at you.

Looking down at the pup sat in between your children he was the spitting image of childhood best friend Buddy.

“He does, he has the same big brown eyes that Buddy had, what’s his name? Does he have a name?” You asked your kids as you blinked away the happy tears forming on your lash line.

“His name is Max.” Mary, your four year old giggled when Max started licking her cheek.

“Hi Max, oh my God he’s so cute, Sam this is amazing.”

“You like him?” Sam asked with a grin on his face.

“I love him, I might even love him more than you.”

“Eight years of marriage down the drain for a dog you’ve known for ten minutes.” Sam chuckled as he crouched down next to you running his hand across the top of Max’s head and down his back.

“Exactly.”

“Mary! Bobby! Sandwiches are ready, come get em” Dean called from the kitchen.

Both kids jumped off the bed running out of your bedroom, Max chasing after them.

“Are you happy?”

Turning to face him you wrapped your arms around his neck, sending you both tumbling to the floor, landing on top of him you leaned up kissing him. “I love you so much.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes Sam, I am insanely happy, we’ve wanted a dog for what a decade, he looks so much like Buddy.”

“That’s why I couldn’t leave him, I saw him and knew he was ours.”

“Does Dean know there’s a dog in the bunker?” You asked pushing yourself to sit up.

“Why do you think he has been so grumpy today? Max has already been banned from Dean’s room, the Impala and the Dean cave.” He chuckled sitting up next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“He’ll win Dean over, they’ll be best buds in no time.”

“The kids love him.”

“I love him already Sam, I’m so happy, thank you, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Do you think Dean made us sandwiches too?”

“We adopted a dog he doesn’t want in the bunker, of course, we don’t have sandwiches.”

Many Months Later

You looked up from the book in your hands when Max trotted into the room, closely followed by Sam as they returned from checking the kids were asleep.

“Hi beautiful.” You smiled putting the book down as Max jumped onto the bed, turning in a few small circles he flopped down next at your feet.

“Hi.” Sam winked at you as he pulled the covers back and climbed in next to you.

“Stop being a flirt.” You rolled your eyes as you put the book down on the nightstand, getting comfy your head rested on your pillow as you turned to face him.

“Never.” He grinned at you reaching out his fingers tucked hair behind your ear.

Max whined from the end of the bed pawing at Sam’s leg.

“C’mere bud.” Sam patted the small space between the two of you.

Getting up Max trotted up the bed squeezing himself into the small space between you both, looking up at the two of you with his big brown eyes.

Stroking down his back he cuddled closer to you. “He’s so damn cute, every time our family gets a little bigger I think we’re done and then every time we think we’re settled we end up growing again.”

“Apparently that’s just the way we add to the Winchester clan.” Sam shrugged. “Is this your way of saying you want our family to get a bit bigger?” He asked with a smile on his face.

“I mean I can see us having another baby and at least two more dogs.” You watched his face waiting for his initial reaction when his smile got bigger you couldn’t help but smile.

“I can help with the baby side of things the two more dogs we’re gonna have to bribe Dean to allow more than one dog into the bunker.”

“Or just bring them home and let him secretly get attached again like we all know he will.”

“There is that option.” He grinned at you. “Max, go find Dean!” Sam instructed as he got off the bed watching the dog trot out of the room and down the hall, shutting the door leaving the two of you, climbing back into bed next to you. “You’re serious about a baby?” He asked shuffling closer to you reaching out his fingers tucking hair behind your ear.

“I am, I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, do you?”

“Of course I want another baby with you, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The door to your room flew open bouncing off the wall. Sam sat bolt upright half expecting to see his brother standing in the doorway, instead your daughter stood there with her favourite blanket in her hand.

“Mary, what’s wrong?” Sam asked as he got out of bed rushing towards your daughter.

“I had a bad dream.”

“About what sweetie?” He asked her as he bundled her up in his arms, wiping away her tears with his thumb.

“Spiders.”

“Spiders?” You looked at Sam with a raised brow.

“Can I sleep with you and Daddy tonight?” She asked you as Sam walked towards the bed.

“Of course you can honey.” Pulling the sheets back as Sam sat down on the bed she crawled out of his arms and towards you flopping down next to you, you pulled the sheets and her blanket up over her tucking her in. Sam left the room to check the commotion hadn’t woken Bobby.

“Since when are you scared of Spiders?” You asked your otherwise fearless four year old as your fingers ran through her hair tucking it behind her ear as she slowly closed her eyes.

“M not.” She mumbled.

“Then why was it a bad dream?”

“It was bigger than baby.” She yawned.

“Spiders don’t get that big honey.”

“It was chasing Uncle Dean and Daddy.”

“Oh, honey.” Running your finger through her hair you listened as she slowly fell asleep clutching her blanket.

“She okay?” Sam asked as he walked back into the bedroom, pushing the door closed slightly leaving it open for Max to be able to get back in.

“Yeah, the dream was a giant spider chasing you and Dean apparently.”

“Eugh. That would give me nightmares never mind her.” Sam shuddered as he got into bed next to the two of you. “Want to see if Dean will watch them tomorrow and we can talk?”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

“I love you.” Shifting closer to you Sam’s arm rested over Mary his hand resting on the dip of your waist.

“I love you too.”

“Daddy.” Bobby’s whisper woke you less than an hour later.

Looking over towards your husband he reached out pulling Bobby into the bed getting him settled next to his sister.

“He okay?” You whispered.

“Yeah, go back to sleep,” Sam mumbled.

“Okay.” Closing your eyes you let yourself drift off again.

The door to your bedroom opened waking you again, sitting up you watched Max trot into the room, hopping up onto the bed he walked towards the sleeping children laying between you and Sam. Max cautiously got closer to them sniffing at each of them he sat between them listening. Watching him you realised he was checking they were okay when he seemed content that they were happy and asleep he got up turned around and lay down his focus on the bedroom door.

“Good boy.” You mumbled closing your eyes, falling asleep knowing Max had come to your room to look out for his two little best friends.

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[saibh29]

Mother and Daughter

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, Implied family issues

AN: Ok this one I enjoyed... immensely... 

Your mother is in town for a few days, which means your boyfriend is suspiciously absent

*****

Your mum was coming to the city, it was a biannual visit that she made under sufferance simply to say that it wasn’t always her commanding you to come home. She liked to sit on the high ground of moral vindication.

You loved your mum, you actually had a decent relationship now you’d grown up, moved away and didn’t have to live with her anymore. These visits though, even though they only lasted for a few days, tended to be painful for everyone involved. Your mum did not like the city, she didn’t like crowds of people, traffic, noise or the small bedrooms you had in your tiny apartment. She missed her own kitchen, fancy coffee machine, Women’s meetings and town gossip sessions.

You’d taken the morning off work to wait for her to arrive and had already set up the bed for her in the spare room. You’d also removed any trace of your boyfriend from the apartment. Kelly was allergic to parents and in the case of your mother you didn’t really blame him. Your mum was also allergic to men, after the mess your dad had made of their relationship you didn’t really blame her either. So, by silent agreement neither of them met, ever. Not in the context of ‘mother of your girlfriend’ anyhow.

You’d been sat on the window seat so saw the taxi pull up outside your block and your mother emerge, commanding the poor uber driver to remove her bags from the cab. How one woman needed practically a suitcase a day you’d never figured out, especially as her daughter, you, managed to travel for weeks with only a rucksack you’d had since high school.

Starting to assemble the requisite smile on your face you went down to help her with the pile of luggage.

“Mum”

She turned and caught sight of you enveloping you in a huge hug, your mother always smelt vaguely like fresh cookies and vanilla, it flashed you back to sitting in the kitchen of your childhood home nibbling on said cookies while in the living room your mum and dad screamed at each other.

“Y/N, darling” she held you slightly away from her eyes taking you all in. “You look skinny, have you been eating? I brought plenty of casserole and stews, you can put it in the freezer”

“Mum, you always say I look skinny, and how did you get TSA to let you on your flight with a load of frozen food”

“Hmmm” That was your mothers all purpose noise, mainly meaning the subject was closed and she wasn’t going to tell you anything more. Picking up the many bags you helped her carry them up to your apartment, dumping them in the kitchen. “Put that food in the freezer darling”

“hmmm” you copied your mums previous sound but did as you were told. It was more trouble than it was worth to try and disobey her.

Your mum was still stood in the middle of your apartment. “This place seems smaller every time I arrive”

“I promise you its not” how did the woman do it, in one sentence you were desperately trying to remind yourself that murder was not a good idea. “I have to go to the firehouse. I was just waiting for you to arrive” your mum was still staring around the room. “Maybe you want to rest?”

“Rest?” she finally gave you her attention again. “Oh, I'm quite rested. Maybe I’ll come to the station with you, I haven’t been there for quite some time”

Crap. That was what you’d been wanting to avoid. Trying to dissuade her though would only make her more determined to come with you.

“Fine”

“I'm sure the boys would appreciate some warm food”

“mum…” you whined but she was no longer listening, she’d gone to your fridge and was tutting in dismay at the offerings inside.

“We’ll stop by the market on the way”

“Ok” grabbing your bag you hustled her back out of your apartment and down to your car. It was going to be a very long day.

**

The guys as you’d guessed had been delighted to see your mother entering the station with you following behind, arms piled high with groceries. They’d swarmed your mum leading her into the station with smiles and hugs.

“Yeah don’t worry about me!” you snapped trying not to trip over your feet. “I'm fine”

The guys ignored you completely still fawning over your mum. Someone did come up from behind you though and the top two bags were removed from your arms leaving you with only one.

“I see she arrived”

“It’s been 2 hours Kelly, 2 hours and I want to kill either her or myself, I haven’t decided which yet”

“That bad?”

“She called me skinny! Mocked my fridge, apartment and now she’s here… my mother is here, where I work”

“Sounds terrible”

“Just don’t” you warned as he didn’t look all that sympathetic.

“Hey! Y/N get moving with those groceries your mum’s gonna cook”

Your eyes narrowed as you focused on Herrmann who was hanging out of the door to the mess room. You were about to say something scathing and generally unkind when Kelly cut in.

“Coming” he nudged you forwards. “Aren’t we?”

“Yeah sure… we’re coming” you went into the mess dumping the groceries onto the counters where you mum was already rooting around in cupboards bringing out varying pans and equipment.

“Your mum’s going to cook” Otis sounded almost dreamy as he leant beside you on the bench “real food Y/N”

“I heard”

“darling will you peel the veg for me please” you mum didn’t wait for an answer just pushed the peeler into your hands along with a bowl of washed vegetables. “and clean strokes Y/N, don’t attack it like a rabid dog”

“Sure” you got the word out around gritted teeth and snatched a carrot from the bowl. Obviously you were attacking it because soon after your mum grabbed the carrot snatching it from your hands in horror.

“Y/N”

“You said peel it”

“Yes peel, not chunk. Honestly”

Alright, that was it, you were done. Almost hurling the peeler back to the counter, you spun on your heel and stormed out of the mess room.

You’d gone to the locker rooms, sat on the bench in front of the lockers therapeutically letting your feet swing into the metal with a satisfying thump.

“Babe?” Kelly came carefully into the locker room, sitting down beside you his arm going around your shoulders. “what’s going on?”

“I can’t deal with her being here Kelly” you let your boots kick once a lot harder into the lockers. “Mum needs to be at home in that sphere and my life, you, my apartment everything else needs to be separate”

“I think most people feel like that about their parents”

“Helpful, Kelly. Very fucking helpful”

“Hey” he used his spare hand to take hold of your chin forcing your face around to look at him. “She isn’t here for long and in the meantime, she’s your mother.”

“So what, deal?”

“Yeah babe, you deal”

“What good advice Kelly”

You both jumped apart like guilty teenagers at your mums voice coming from the doorway. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she looked between the two of you. You’d never seen Kelly move so fast as he did then, lurching off the bench and going for the door. Your mum didn’t move though blocking his exit.

“Kelly Severide, sit down”

“I um… but…”

“Sit”

“Yes Ma’am” Kelly came back to sit beside you as your mum finally moved from the doorway to stand in front of the two of you.

“Y/N, you may technically be an adult, but you’re still my child. I'm sorry if that upsets you, I am never going to stop being your mother though and this is simply how I am”

“It doesn’t upset me” you felt like an ungrateful ass now. You knew your mum hated the city and yet still she came, still she wanted to see you. “I'm happy you’re here”

“Good, now…” she trailed off staring at the two of you.

“Mum?”

“This needs to stop”

“What?”

“Me pretending I don’t know about you two and you” she turned narrowed eyes on Kelly. “Is my daughter somehow not good enough for you to admit to dating?”

Kelly coughed and squirmed uncomfortably, looking at you for obvious rescue, you just shrugged though. “Don’t look at me, I can’t help”

“No Ma’am of course not”

“Do you love her?” your mum continued; she could be relentless when she was focused onto something. When Kelly remained silent, her hands went to her hips. “Well?”

“Yes alright” Kelly jumped to his feet. “Yes! I love her, I love your daughter”

“Well good” your mum then turned her interrogation to you even though you were fairly in shock from Kelly’s sudden declaration of love. “and you Y/N, why did you think you had to hide this from me?”

“I… um…” Kelly sat back down and took your hand in his own linking your fingers together. It gave you the strength to keep talking. “When dad left, you broke Mum. Ever since then you’ve had this vendetta against men. I didn’t want to hurt you”

Your mum stayed quiet for a minute before reaching out and pulling you to your feet severing your connection to Kelly. She wrapped her arms around you. “You don’t have to protect me sweetheart. I'm your mum. I want you to be happy, it’s all I’ve ever wanted” She kissed your cheek “Now, I have some food to cook” and with a final look at both of you she left the locker room.

Turning around so you could lean against the lockers you caught Kelly’s eye. “Hell of a way to tell me you love me?”

He shrugged standing up and catching hold of your waist, he pulled you off the lockers and into his chest instead. “the truth is the truth”

“I love you too”

Kelly’s lips claimed your own in a kiss that made everything but him flee your mind.

“Now, come on. I want to see what kind of food I can scrounge”

Laughing at that you let him take your hand and pull you out of the locker room again.  

 *****

@lifesaclimb-buttheviewisgreat​  @lclb13 @moli1497​   @clementines-x​ @the-chosen-one-time-lord​ @no-other-names-availible-blog​ @angelaiswriting​ @selldraug​ @angryares​ @thenovarose​ @georgiagrl1990​ @punk-rock-5-sos @mindofthescattered​  @dontstopxx​ @iamabeautifulperson18​ @madelinecraig03​ @ka-x-in​ @im-hurric4ne @mesmericbell​ @something–awesome @weirdpotato-14​ @putinontheritzz​ @soulslaststand​ @fuckthatfeeling​  @ember1201​ @morganlb23​ @kitkatbadass @tomhopperarms​  @fakingintrest​ @artprincessbree​  @dreamer-lover-laughter​ @artprincessbree​ @rime-warrior​ @captainvaneswife​ @jaib2-blog @kapolisradomthoughts​ @thingsandstuffienjoy​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @aya-fay​  @itsbubbaog​ @hp-hogwartsexpress​ @emmykinzs​ @thatbadassunicorn​ @sassywingednightmare​ @weirdnewbie​ @goyawriter​ @shipperfangirling​ @nathaliabakes​ @stillreadingfantasy @waywardblueshun

[sirsapling]

MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle​

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. 

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor​

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills​

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive. 

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 

[transgenderboobs]

a/c №3 drunk kissing plz

3. Drunk/sloppy kiss

tried to write something kinda sad for once but everything i write eventually just metamorphoses into fluff so i don’t think it worked out too well?

cw for mentions of drinking/alcohol (probs obvi)

They’re sitting on the floor, between Crowley’s expensive leather couch and his expensive coffee table. They started out on the couch, at the beginning of the night, but after a couple of hours and a couple of bottles of wine they’d just sort of… migrated, of their own accord, so they were sitting on the floor with barely any space between them.

Aziraphale doesn’t really remember why or when this happened. He doesn’t much care right now, either. On the list of things he needs to be concerned about, the way Crowley’s knees keep knocking into his when he moves is pretty far down the list. 

They’ve been talking for hours. At this point, they’ve talked through everything there is to talk through three times over, but Aziraphale doesn’t want to stop talking. He doesn’t think Crowley does, either. It’s just that, well. After everything, the idea of leaving each other, even just for the night, even if they’re just a few rooms apart, seems absolutely unthinkable. 

So neither one of them have thought about it, and they just keep talking, about everything and nothing. It’s almost like any other night, except they’re at Crowley’s flat instead of Aziraphale’s shop, and the world almost ended a few hours ago.

Aziraphale is… Well. Admittedly, Crowley’s been rambling, so he might not be listening entirely anymore, but he notices when Crowley falls silent.

And Aziraphale’s just been – oh, good Lord, he’s just been staring at him, hasn’t he?

And not just. At him. He’s aware Crowley has stopped talking because for some time now, Aziraphale’s just been staring at his mouth. At his lips.

How long has he been doing that? Aziraphale is mortified to realize he can’t seem to remember. And even more mortified when he realizes he’s still doing it.

Aziraphale snaps his eyes back up to Crowley’s, and, oh, thank. Er, someone, he doesn’t seem to have noticed. In fact, he’s not even paying Aziraphale any mind, his golden eyes unfocused and staring off at the far wall.

Aziraphale takes a sip of his wine. “Something on your mind, dear boy?”

Crowley frowns. He’d probably describe it as a scowl, but Aziraphale thinks it looks more like a pout. “S’a stupid idea.”

Aziraphale knows exactly what he’s talking about without needing clarification. “Maybe,” he allows, “but we haven’t got a better one.”

Crowley makes a sound in the back of his throat. “I don’t like it.”

“Nor do I,” Aziraphale says, “but I don’t see an altra– alterm– any other option.”

The frown (pout) deepens, and when Crowley finally turns to look at him, there’s something haunted behind his eyes. “Hastur likes fire,” he blurts.

“I–” Aziraphale goes back over their conversation. It’s a challenge with all the wine in his system, but he still can’t find any kind of connecting thread which could explains that statement. “Pardon?”

“You were gone,” Crowley says, and now Aziraphale has completely lost the plot, but Crowley keeps going. “Your blessed shop was on fire, an’I’d just soaked Ligur in holy water, and. And. That’s Hastur’s best friend, y’know? I killed him, and then your stupid bookshop is on fire, and I thought. He’s– he’s mean, and he’s veg– vensefu– Well. He holds a grudge, and the first thing I see is stupid fire stupid everywhere, and I thought – Or I wasn’t thinking, but I thought.”

He hasn’t even paused to take a breath (not that he needs to) so he doesn’t stop in his tirade the wipe at his eyes, just keeps talking around a lump in his throat.

“It’s his style. Eye for’n eye. Ligur gets a bath in holy water so he sends you up’n a pillar of hell fire. If I’m gonna kill his best friend, it’d make sense that he’d turn around and kill mine. They’re really mad at me Down There right now. They’ll wanna do their worst, and that’s really really bad, and I just got you back and you want me to let you walk into Hell t’face not-even-God-knows what, and I already lost you once and I can’t do it again, angel. I can’t.”

He says it all in one quick burst, lays it all between them, and then falls silent.

In the back of his mind, Aziraphale thinks maybe he should sober up, but in the front of his mind he’s too distracted by the hurt in Crowley’s damp eyes to do think of anything else at the moment. 

“Crowley,” he says, cautiously, as his mind tries to work out a proper response.

Crowley gives his head a jerky shake. “Don’t, angel. Just– I’m just–”

“Scared,” Aziraphale finishes for him, softly, because he knows that fear. He’d felt it, somewhere deep inside him, every time Crowley walked out his door after Aziraphale’d given him holy water a handful of decades ago. 

“Terrified,” Crowley chokes out.

Gingerly, Aziraphale sets his wine glass aside without looking away from Crowley. (Crowley abandoned his own glass some time ago in favor of drinking right from the bottle, but it seems to have gotten away from him during his speech.)

“’M not going anywhere, my dear,” Aziraphale tells him. “I’ll come back.” To you. To you. Bloody coward. “To you.” Ah. Liquid courage. Excellent.

Crowley sucks in a sharp breath. “Angel.”

Aziraphale’s hand is cupping Crowley’s cheek, now, seemingly of its own volition, but Aziraphale leaves it there, rubs his thumb over Crowley’s cheekbone, even.

They’re like magnets, honestly, unable to ever properly put any distance between themselves, always coming back together, pulling each other closer.

It barely takes anything to just close the distance entirely. 

At first, it’s simple. Just a press of lips on lips, a quiet reassurance, you’re here, I’m here, despite everything, this isn’t the end of us.  

But then Crowley lets out a choked whimper snakes his arms around Aziraphale’s neck, pulls them chest to chest and kisses back with everything he’s got in him.

It’s impossible, really, to put 6,000 years of wanting and loving into one kiss, but it should’ve been impossible for two incompetent entities like themselves to stand against the armies of Heaven and Hell and stop Armageddon from happening, so they’re very well going to try, anyway.

Aziraphale can’t decide where to put his hands, so he winds up running them all over Crowley’s body, through his hair, even under his shirt for one absolutely marvelous moment. Crowley has no such problem; he buried his own in Aziraphale’s hair early on and seems content to leave them there, to use his convenient grip to pull them closer like he can eliminate the space between them entirely.

It’s… oh, it’s a mess. Of course it’s a mess; Aziraphale lost track of how many bottles of wine they’ve had an hour ago, and Aziraphale has become almost certain Crowley’s never actually kissed anyone before (which is hopelessly endearing but not the most pressing thing on Aziraphale’s mind at the moment). 

But it’s good. As many times as Aziraphale has imagined kissing Crowley, it’s still better than he could’ve ever hoped for. It’s wonderful. It’s so right.

Aziraphale doesn’t want it to end, but it has to, eventually. 

It’s Crowley who slows it from a hungry, desperate, clingy thing to a series of lingering kisses, to a few, scattered kisses here and there. Aziraphale misses the intensity, but this gentleness is nice, too.

“Angel,” Crowley breathes against Aziraphale’s lips. At some point he wound up half in Aziraphale’s lap. He’s not drunk anymore, Aziraphale can tell by the clarity of his voice, so Aziraphale sobers up himself.

“Crowley. Dear. Dearest.” Aziraphale cleans his throat. “I’ll come back to you,” he tells him, “I’ll do whatever it takes to come back to you, and you will do whatever it takes to come back to me.”

Crowley nods, tightening his arms around Aziraphale’s neck. “I think that goes without saying.”

“No, I really mean it. That doesn’t just mean do something reckless and impulsive,” Aziraphale stresses. “It means do what you need to do to get out of there as quickly as you can. Don’t antagonize anyone. Don’t– don’t do anything that could– Oh, Crowley, please just be safe, because I can’t lose you either, alright?”

Crowley takes a long, slow breath, lets his head fall forward onto Aziraphale’s shoulder on the exhale. “Okay,” he says into Aziraphale’s shirt. 

Aziraphale lets out his own shaky, unnecessary breath, letting it take all the tension with it on its way out of him. He holds Crowley close, arms around his back. “Well, if I’d known that’s all it takes to get you to agree with me, I would’ve kissed you ages ago.”

Crowley gives a weak chuckle. “Should’ve.”

“Perhaps,” Aziraphale allows, “but we’ll have plenty of time to make up for that.”

They will. Aziraphale will be sure of it; they may have been too scared to love in the past, but the future they have together is infinite, and it is just beginning.