#I just have to be stronger. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fortunesrevolver · 1 year ago

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So... life sucks right now.

Not only is my disability application still pending (November will be month 10 since I applied. Isn't waiting for the government to process things FUN?) But life is just... hard. And complicated.

My dad is currently going through ECT treatment because he's very resistant to medication for his depression. If you don't know what that is... honestly, I just snatched this summary from Google because I don't have the mental spoons to break it down right now:

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT for short) is a treatment that involves sending an electric current through your brain. This causes a brief surge of electrical activity within your brain (also known as a seizure). The aim is to relieve severe symptoms of some mental health problems.

It's honestly not an uncommon treatment, and apparently a very successful and common one for patients who, like my dad, are resistant to medication.

The issue is, one of the side effects for this are memory loss. So right now, dad can't work. And his memory is just... awful right now. He's forgetting a lot of things from the past few months (let alone past few days or weeks) and it's just... a mess. Mom and I are doing the best we can to keep it together and keep things going... Taking him to his appointments (that are god-awful early in the morning) making sure someone is always home with him...

But it's hard. It's hard when he took on so many responsibilities like submitting payments for bills and such on his own and always assured us he had it when we offered to help.

To be clear, my dad is not at all a bad or controlling person. He just took pride in being able to take care of his family. It was one of the things he felt like he could control against his depression. Taking care of us was sort of his... anti-depression isn't the right word. But it's what kept him going. That's how he'd always explain it. We'd always just do whatever we could to support him and try to everything else easier for him. (Though in retrospect, I guess that's just how families are supposed to work. Taking care of each other as best you can.)

But right now it's so hard... He's not himself at all... and all of these symptoms can take up to 6 months to fully heal, and that's after treatment finishes (which has about... 2 weeks left, I think? It depends, really. There's a range and everyone is different.)

He's my dad and I love him a lot... but it's hard. It's hard to see him get confused or forget very basic things like the voice command for the lights he was so pleased with when he set up. Or watching a TV show one day and then immediately watching it again the day after because he doesn't remember watching it. Or that a bill set up for automatic payments will got through and he'll see it show up on the bank accounts he unconsciously remembers to check, but doesn't know what it's for, and then we scramble to not only make sure something wild didn't happen, but assure him everything is okay.

And, reading back over this post, it seems like such a small problem from an outside perspective. I'm barely touching the tip of the iceberg, but I know there's people out here that are dealing with similar circumstances ten-fold and probably handling it with way more grace than I am.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I try to help as best I can, but my dad has always been a bit of a stubborn man. Not cruelly stubborn, but stubborn about being the strong, independent one. And he can't do that right now... but he's still trying to.

I can only try to pick up whatever pieces I can with my mom and make things work as best we can.

But it's still a mess and complicated and I feel like I'm just a horrible daughter for venting like this.

#nao rants #life problems #ect treatment #ect #I just have to be stronger.#Even if it's only for a little while.#I'll be stronger and better.#For mom and dad.

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adaki · 4 months ago

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Yk I think Toby is by far the least freaky crp in design but the thought of an encounter with him is terrifying.

#ticci toby #myart #creepypasta #crp #horror #tobias rogers #tobias erin rogers #slender proxy #slenderverse #creepypasta proxy #also while I was drawing this one of my neighbors was literally murdered by two home invaders they still haven’t caught???#rest in peace but also I’m going to die bro pray for me #does this count as a redesign #just an interpretation #I’d hate to be chased by Toby bro he’ll naw #I’d hc most of the proxies have a stronger pain tolerance but like how do you even stun someone like Toby

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 1 year ago

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#good omens #´hello friends!! how are you!!#I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey #usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from #most of the time I just get a stuffy nose #has my nose gotten stronger #but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁)#it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet #but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (:#and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors #I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set #the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer #but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet #unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home #which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car

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deliciousnecks · 19 days ago

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wwdits ;; 6.05

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits #wwdits spoilers #wwditsedit #wwditsdaily #wwdits fx #kayvan novak #i have things to say #but i won't #just know that they are there #guillermo is stronger than me #!mine #1k

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devsgames · 9 months ago

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Me: "hey game developers, especially AAA ones, are getting laid off en-mass and it's awful for our industry" Gamer: "well I only play INDIE games and the problem with AAA games is they are creatively bankrupt"

Me, slamming my fists on the table like a baby: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IS ABOUT A BUSINESS PROBLEM PERPETUATED BY CAPITALISM NOT A STATEMENT ON CREATIVE DECISION MAKING"

#look I think AAA should make weirder games also but I wish we stopped treating that like some kind of solution and not just a fun idea #the problem is capitalism. its always capitalim #its not like AAA studios would have less problems if they made weird indie games lol #also hey spoiler alert: indie studios need to organize their labour too #in fact I think the organizing movement would be stronger if more indies adopted it first #anyway im busy so imma mute some posts now #thoughts #blog

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milktrician · 1 month ago

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(what the. who threw a wife plot device in the middle of a peak lord meeting)

i thought about this bit at the end of the airplane extras the other day. bro why are you looking at your coworkers like that rn

#comic: truth artifact #a silly thing while executive dysfunction is preventing me from writing anything #shang qinghua #wei qingwei #svsss #svsss fanart #uhh imagine this set pre-canon or pre-abyss #artifact would have attached to every person in a nearby area and slowly prodded at their minds until they forced a secret out #for it to satiate itself with #so either you tell it something willingly or it forces something out of you #yqy went first to settle his martial siblings trust that its safe #yqy said something like.#‘i was too weak to make due on a promise. i wish i was stronger back then’ with a glare from both mqf and sqq #sqq would probably say the vaguest thing possible that counted as a ‘deepest secret’ to meet the conditions set #this goes for sj and sy #side thing:#i love when truth serum stuff in fics just makes sqq and sqh say the wildest shit

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emilyaxford · 1 year ago

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#i thiiiiiink it was probably mary poppins for me but i have stronger memories of singin' in the rain and west side story #also i don't personally consider the wizard of oz a musical but i know that's a controversial opinion so i've included it anyways #polls #also also because this is tumblr i just want to caveat that these are based on my childhood movies and not a best-of list #my mom was predominately a dick van dyke/julie andrews/audrey hepburn/gene kelly kind of girl so that's what i got

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just-null · 3 months ago

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wrestling to be the first to greet you (they broke into your house)

#null rot #hantengu #hantengu clones #sekido #karaku #urogi #aizetsu #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #they say it doesnt matter who gets greeted first but then go into a full out brawl to be the first.... they probably break things and then #fight again to be the second who gets greeted and then again for third.. an.d. again for fourth... then one more time for-#GYAHHHHHHHH #LIKE BRO THEY JUST LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO FIGHT OVER YOU #THEY FIGHT NORMALLY LIKE SIBLINGS BUT THEY RAKE IT A STEP FURTHER CAUSE THEY'RE DEMONS BUT IT'S NORMAL TO THEM #AND WHY IS ZOHA THE STRONGEST???? YOUNGER = STRONGER????? PHYSICALLY?????? IM SEEING IT THAT WAY #IN THAT CASE ITD MAKE SENSE SINCE THE OLDEST IS HANTENGU HIMSELF..... AND HES...... HIM #i always see sekido losing wrestling battles and Aizetsu being the one to win if its pure strength alone #bUT if theyre playing dirty i can see the turning tables...... but maybe thats for another day....#GYAH FUCK THE POWER SCALING BETWEEN THE FOUR BRO I NEED TO KEEP GOING #THESE MFS ARE TESTING MY ABILITIES WITH HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO KEEP DRAWING THEM...#FOR NOW LOOK HOW MUCH THEYRE DUMBASSES #and yes. the crotch shot to urogi was intentional on aizetsu's part. hes so subtle mean girl coded to me

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apollos-olives · 10 months ago

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my love for palestine is stronger than my hatred for zionists. my love for palestine is stronger than my hatred for zionists. my love for palestine is stronger than my hatred for zionists.

#i keep seeing horrific videos and i just feel so much rage and hatred boil up in my chest against those who are supporting this suffering #but i have to remind myself #my love for palestine is stronger than my hatred for zionists #palestine #free palestine

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hyunpic · 5 months ago

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240711 hynjinnnn instagram live

#hyunjin #skz #stray kids #bystay #staydaily #got pepper sprayed at the metro today. won’t come between me and my hyuntent like u will just have to #try harder @ universe #me and anna have taken so many L’s today like there’s material for a whole book i think #BUT LOVE IS STRONGER THAN LOOSING. woah so txt of me

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hinamie · 3 months ago

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congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yuji itadori #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jjk art #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk leaks #these took so long i kept getting distracted cries #but they r done and this is yuuji's post canon scar map to me. argue with a wall we should have had this #looks at canon this sign won't stop me bc i cant read >:(#smh robbed!!!!!! the potential!!!!! the aesthetic!!!!! th angst the symbolism!!!!!!#gege i respect u i do not want beef after u let my boys live #but u rly couldnt have scuffed him up a LITTLE more.....there were so many to choose from didnt u have a favourite.....#all he has to show fr all that r two little scratches. rly.#((not counting the ear n fingers thank god i get That much))#anyway i made a whole post abt why i think yuuji should have kept the scars n what it would have stood for symbolically #its along th same lines as the yuuji Big Face Scar agenda hh i just care a lot abt character design n visual storytelling ok #anyway fine he can keep the eye but in this house it grew back wrong it's lighter and foggy and now his prescription is stronger #as fr the rest #megumi has dibs on the upper right eye apparently so yuuji can have the bottom half #i would have doubled down on the scars on his left but a. the right side is the symbolic one #b. he healed an entire eye so it makes sense tht he'd heal other more minor injuries as well #c. tbh it's mostly based on what looked good i think this arrangement guides the eye across his face nicely #gave him a lil nose nick bc smth smth sukuna idk it's just there to balance things out #also as i said. the jaw and neck scar are there for kissing purposes i make the rules im salty and i do what i want smile #in other news thank u past hina fr doing those hair render studies im very happy with my yuuji hair as of late

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egophiliac · 7 months ago

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Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !

Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)

I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!

someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)

uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE