#I just have so many feelings about their dynamic as the eldest sons
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Sat too long in my feelings about the Gotham Knights video game Jason Todd going to therapy and trying to engage with his siblings from a place of healing and hurt myself, so now I'm inflicting this on all of you, but:
Do you ever think about how Jason only ever gets to experience Dick as an extension of the breakdown of Dick and Bruce's relationship at that time? Granted, depending on the comic era, Dick maybe doesn't show up as much as he should, or Jason acts like an antagonistic little shit, but overall, Dick's falling out with Bruce overshadows all of it.
And, like, yeah, it's funny to joke that only Jason knows that Dick went through a shitbag teenage phase and that no one ever believes him. (Gaslight, Gate Keep, Gotham ✌) And Jason is irate about it because how can they not see through what is clearly The World's Best Big Brother Act? How can no one else see it's fake?
(Unless it's not fake, and Jason just wasn't worth loving... No, fuck off, he doesn't care, he doesn't. Leave him alone.)
But at the same time, what if Jason's the only one who realizes it's a trauma response?
What if Jason's in the middle of a therapy session or reading one of the self-help books we see him ordering, and he just has to take a moment to breathe because, of course, it's a fucking trauma response. Of course, it is.
Dick's not pretending to be anything. He was, in fact, so severely affected by Jason's death that he over-corrected and now refuses to let himself be anything other than the Perfect Big Brother. Because he can't. Because when he's not perfect, when he's not there for them, they die.
Suddenly the golden retriever's cheerfulness is less grating and more worrying. Dick's need for perfection is less an annoying personality trait to compete with and more an exhausted cry for help that no one else seems to see. Not even Dick.
Because Jason realizes now that he might have never managed to live up to the Golden Boy mantle, but Dick will never get to put it down, either. Because he can't let himself. Because bad shit happens when he does.
So what if that's what he hopes Dick reads between the lines in the email he sends him in GK?
What if, by saying, "Hey, I realize now trying to hold myself to your standards was damaging my relationship with you, but I need you to know it wasn't your fault," was also Jason saying, "Hey, this shit isn't healthy are you fucking okay?"
#gotham knights game#jason todd#dick grayson#I just have so many feelings about their dynamic as the eldest sons#the one who gets called golden#and the one who gets tarnished and turns green#like a cheap imitation#except he's not gold#he's bronze#(like the comic era he was written for)#he's supposed to be a little green and weathered around the edges#it just means he's still here
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a day in a life — ryomen sukuna.
You set Yuji down, and he immediately takes your hand in his tiny one, his other hand reaching out to grab Sukuna's sleeve, tugging at him. "Uncle Sukuna, come on!" Sukuna grunts, letting Yuji pull him along, his expression caught somewhere between annoyance and reluctant affection. “Alright, alright, brat….I’m coming.” he says, trying to sound grumpy but failing spectacularly. You smile at the sight of them together and take Sukuna's other hand. "Looks like we're both in for an adventure, aren’t you?" you whisper.
GENRE: alternate universe - modern au!;
WARNING/S: safe for work (sfw), fluff, family, slice of life, family dynamic, light hearted, domestic, romance, protectiveness, crying, hugging, banter, humour, physical touch, happy ending, hurt/comfort, depictions of family dynamic, depiction of getting lost, depiction of anxiety, depiction of slice of life, menction of amnesia, boyfriend! sukuna, amnesiac! girlfriend! reader, domestic uncle sukuna!, nephew!yuji, i love you nephew!yuji;
WORD COUNT: 6.4k words
NOTE: the people have spoken and ryomen sukuna won my poll (again) so this is a special treat for yall!!! this is the aftermath of amnesia and reader and sukuna got back together. this is maybe a year or so to them getting back together. yuji loves his auntie!!! anyway, i hope you enjoy it. i had a lovely time writing it because this is what we deserved from gege!!! i love you all!!! thank you for your continued love <3
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── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──
IT WAS YOUR DAY OFF. And that was something you and Sukuna had agreed about in the early dawn of your relationship together. You wanted to get to know this man you fell in love with, and many years had passed since you both even got together after your amnesia. One of those days was today. With no work obligations today and Sukuna taking a break from managing his gym, the two of you had indulged in a much-needed cozy day.
A lot of things would change. So, Ryomen Sukuna stepped up to the plate and took some time off to just have days to cherish your time together.
Everything had been blissfully quiet, a rarity for both you and Sukuna. Like always on these days, you’d spent the morning wrapped in a warm blanket together, watching a movie you both had half-paid attention to, more engrossed in each other’s company than the plot unfolding on screen.
Ryomen Sukuna had his arm draped around your shoulders, his fingers lazily drawing patterns against your skin. Your boyfriend doesn’t sleep that much, but when he’s in his lazy days with you — he makes an effort to rest. You worry a lot for him, after all. And he doesn’t want to add more to those worries. Begrudgingly he does it, but it makes you happy.
He expected to spend the day with you like this all day. And Sukuna was happy with that. He likes having time with you like this, just embracing each other’s warmth and talking over the bad television shows and ordering in if you don’t feel like getting up and making a meal together.
Life was great. This was his day in a life. Sukuna had dreamed of it for years since you parted. And now that you’re together again, it just all fell into place. Nothing could be better than this. And he adores it.
But then Sukuna's phone rang, and you watched as his expression shifted from contentment to annoyance. He sighed, glancing at the caller ID — his twin brother, Itadori Jin. You looked at him curiously as he sighed.
Reluctantly, Sukuna answered, his voice gruff. "What’s up?"
You could only hear Jin’s voice faintly on the other end, speaking quickly. Sukuna’s face darkened as Jin explained the situation — some emergency at work that demanded his immediate attention.
Because of this, Kaori, Jin's wife, would have to go and pick up their eldest son Choso alone for vacation. They didn’t wanna agitate with a long drive, since Yuji is still a little boy. And with no one else to watch over their young son, Itadori Jin was left with only one option.
Ryomen Sukuna pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly frustrated. You could almost hear his internal mantra: ‘Don’t say it, don’t say it…’
But Jin, with his usual charm and desperation, finally got to the point. “Look, can you just babysit Yuji for a couple of days until we’re back? We don’t have anyone else.”
Sukuna opened his mouth, ready to protest, but before he could even get a word out, you grinned and cut in. "Oh, we'd love to! Right, Sukuna?"
Sukuna shot you a glare that was more pout than anything else. He looked betrayed, as if you had just handed him the world’s most inconvenient challenge. You couldn't help but bit your lip, trying to stop your laughter. He's always like this when it comes to his nephew. He likes to pretend that he doesn't like him and yet, he does. A lot.
For a moment, you think he was almost like a kitten who found his owner’s antics unpleasant. You felt the tension in his arm, the muscles flexing in silent rebellion. He’d been so ready to complain, to give a flat ‘no’ but your enthusiasm left him no room to argue.
Jin laughed on the other end. “Great! Thank you, sister in law! We’ll drop him off in an hour.”
As the call ended, Sukuna tossed his phone onto the couch with a dramatic sigh, leaning his head back and closing his eyes as if he’d just endured a great ordeal. “Really?” he muttered, a sulky undertone in his voice. "You had to say yes?"
You laughed softly and nudged him with your elbow. "Oh, come on, baby. It'll be fun! Besides, Yuji is adorable. Don't you think so?"
Sukuna opened one eye, giving you a side-eyed glance. "He’s a menace, that brat." he grumbled, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "A little gremlin in disguise."
You leaned closer, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head against his chest. "And I think you secretly like him." you teased.
He snorted, though his arm tightened around you instinctively. "Yeah, well, I like my peace and quiet more. ‘specially since I get my fill of you."
You blushed at his words. For a moment, you could feel his heartbeat beneath your cheek, steady and strong, and you knew he would complain, sulk, and groan about this for the next hour.
But you also knew, without a doubt, that he’d be the one sneaking Yuji cookies before dinner, making silly faces just to hear him giggle, and pretending to be indifferent even as he kept a protective eye on the kid. After all, he loved his little nephew. Even if he doesn’t say it out loud.
“Fine." Sukuna grumbled finally, his voice resigned but affectionate. "But don’t blame me if he decides to climb the walls or something.”
You smiled, planting a soft kiss on his jaw. "Deal."
Sukuna’s sigh was heavy, dramatic, but there was no mistaking the way he leaned into your touch, accepting his fate with a grumpy fondness that only made you love him more.
── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──
day one
IN NO TIME, YOU WERE ALREADY PARKING. You watched as your boyfriend carefully looked at the space as he parks with precision. You liked being in the Itadori household. Somehow, you just felt the warmth of bing alive here. They treated you like family even when you and Sukuna haven't even married. And today was no different.
When you and Sukuna arrive at Jin and Kaori’s house, you could just feel how the sun shines brightly as you pull up to the driveway. Itadori Yuji is already waiting outside, a tiny bundle of energy with his little red backpack on, his face lighting up the moment he sees you. You barely have time to get out of the car before Yuji bolts over, throwing himself at you with an enthusiastic hug that nearly knocks you back.
“Auntie!” he squeals, wrapping his small arms around your legs.
Your heart melts instantly. "Hey, Yuji!" you greet him, scooping him up effortlessly and spinning him around in a playful circle. "I’ve missed you, little guy!"
Yuji giggles, clutching onto you tighter, his face buried in your shoulder. Over your shoulder, you see Sukuna standing by the car, arms crossed, his mouth set in a grumpy line. He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel the simmering annoyance rolling off him in waves.
You shoot him a playful smile. "Look, baby!" you tease. "He's already so attached!"
Sukuna rolls his eyes, but there’s no real malice in his expression. “Yeah, yeah.” he grumbles, though his lips twitch like he’s trying to hold back a smile. “Don't spoil him too much.”
You grin and bounce Yuji in your arms, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. "How could I not? He's too cute. So precious too!”
Yuji beams up at you, clearly enjoying the attention. "Auntie, can we go to the playground?" he asks excitedly, his eyes wide and hopeful.
You look at him, amused. "Of course, we can, buddy! What do you want to do at the playground?"
Yuji's face lights up even more, if that was possible. "I wanna see my best friends! Nobara and Megumi! They’ll be there like usual!" he declares with all the seriousness a toddler can muster.
Sukuna lets out a low groan from behind you. “Great.” he mutters sarcastically. “Not only do we have to babysit the brat, but now we’re running a daycare service.”
You glance over at him with a laugh. "Come on, it'll be fun! Besides, it'll be nice to meet his little friends."
Sukuna sighs dramatically, but you catch the way his gaze softens just a fraction when he looks at Yuji. You know he would never admit it, but he has a soft spot for his nephew, even if he won’t say it out loud.
You set Yuji down, and he immediately takes your hand in his tiny one, his other hand reaching out to grab Sukuna's sleeve, tugging at him. "Uncle Sukuna, come on!"
Sukuna grunts, letting Yuji pull him along, his expression caught somewhere between annoyance and reluctant affection. “Alright, alright, brat….I’m coming.” he says, trying to sound grumpy but failing spectacularly.
You smile at the sight of them together and take Sukuna's other hand. "Looks like we're both in for an adventure, aren’t you?" you whisper.
Sukuna shoots you a look, but the corner of his mouth quirks up just slightly. "Yeah, sure. An adventure." he mutters, but you see the way his grip tightens around your hand.
Yuji swings between you two, his laughter bright and infectious as you make your way to the playground, where a day full of play, giggles, and unexpected joy awaits. You can’t help but think that he’s the purest thing in life.
The neighborhood playground is a colorful blur of swings, slides, and a few scattered benches where parents and caregivers chat while keeping an eye on their kids. You could pick up the sound of laughter filling the air from afar, and Yuji’s excitement is palpable as he practically vibrates with energy between you and Sukuna. He seems to love this place.
“Where are they?” Yuji asks, his head swiveling in every direction with tenderness, searching for his friends. “Where’s Nobara? Where’s Megumi?”
You crouch down to his level, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “I’m sure they’ll be here soon, Yuji. Do you want to try the swings while we wait?”
Yuji nods eagerly. “Yes! Push me, Auntie!” He drags you over to the swings, his little legs moving as fast as they can. Sukuna trails behind, hands shoved into his pockets, doing his best to appear indifferent. But you catch him watching Yuji with a faint smile on his face when he thinks you aren’t looking.
You carefully lift Yuji into the swing, securing him before giving him a gentle push. Soon enough, his little fits of laughter fills the air, bright and pure, as he kicks his legs back and forth, asking for “Higher, higher!”
Sukuna leans against the swing set's metal frame, observing the scene with a mix of amusement and begrudging fondness. "Careful, babe." he warns, though his tone lacks any real bite. "Don't launch him into orbit."
You laugh softly. "Come on, he's having fun!" You give Yuji another push, his giggles ringing out as he soars through the air. "See, Sukuna? This is what a good day looks like."
Sukuna grunts, but there’s no hiding the faint smile tugging at his lips. “Sure, sure. I’ll take your word for it.”
Just then, a small voice calls out from behind you, full of excitement. “Yuji!”
You turn to see a little girl with a red bow in her hair running over, a boy with dark, serious eyes following at a more measured pace. Yuji’s face lights up even brighter. “Nobara! Megumi!” he shouts, waving his arms enthusiastically.
Nobara reaches you first, hands on her hips and a bright grin on her face. “Hey, Yuji! Hi!” She waves up at you, her bright grin was confident and charming. "Are you Yuji's auntie?"
You nod, charmed by her boldness. "I am! It's nice to meet you, Nobara. And you must be Megumi?" you say, looking over at the quiet boy who stands just a bit behind Nobara.
Megumi nods, his expression serious. “Hi.” he says quietly, his gaze shifting between you and Sukuna, assessing. He seemed like a weary kid, but you don’t blame him.
Sukuna raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “You two Yuji’s bodyguards or something?” he teases.
Nobara puffs out her chest, clearly taking it as an offense. “Huh?! No we’re not! We’re his best friends!” she declares proudly. Megumi gives a small nod as he hides that almost imperceptible smile at her confidence.
“Tch, brat—”
“That’s great!” You grinned at her. “Thank you for taking care of Yuji!”
Yuji hops off the swing, rushing over to grab his friends’ hands. “Let’s play!” he shouts, already pulling them toward the jungle gym.
You stand beside Sukuna, watching them run off with a fond smile. “See? Isn’t this nice?”
Sukuna grunts, though there’s no mistaking the soft expression on his face as he watches Yuji. “Yeah, yeah… maybe.” he mutters. “As long as nobody starts crying. Or falling and then crying.”
You laugh and nudge him playfully with your elbow. “Just admit it, you’re having a good time.”
He finally relents, sighing dramatically. “Fine, maybe it’s not that bad.” He turns his head slightly to look at you, a glint of affection in his eyes. “But only because you’re here.”
You feel a warm flutter in your chest at his words and lean closer, brushing a kiss against his cheek. “That’s the spirit, baby.” you tease softly.
As you both stand there, watching Yuji play with his friends, you feel a sense of contentment settle over you. It’s simple, this moment, but somehow perfect in its simplicity — surrounded by laughter, sun, and Sukuna’s reluctant but undeniable fondness for his nephew. And you were enjoying it all. Taking it all as it is. It was the perfect day.
Suddenly, Yuji runs back over, out of breath but beaming. “Auntie, Uncle! Can you come play too?” he asks, tugging at both of your hands with his small ones.
You glance at Sukuna, who looks momentarily caught off guard. But then, with a sigh and a half-smile, he bends down, ruffling Yuji's hair. “Alright, brat.” he says, his voice mock-gruff. “What do you want us to do?”
Yuji's eyes shine with excitement. "You can be the monsters, and we'll be the heroes!"
Sukuna raises an eyebrow. "Oh, I'm a monster now?" he grumbles, but you can tell he's already warming up to the idea.
You laugh, taking Yuji’s hand. “Okay, monsters it is. But you better run fast, heroes!”
With that, Yuji squeals in delight, dragging his friends back to the jungle gym as you and Sukuna pretend to chase after them. Sukuna might act like he’s reluctant, but you catch the way he’s smiling, truly smiling, and your heart feels impossibly full.
For now, there’s no place else you’d rather be. And you meant it.
── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──
day two
THE EXHAUSTION FROM YESTERDAY DIDN’T PREVENT YUJI FROM WANTING TO ENJOY TODAY. When the next day dawns with bright and clear skies, you could only think that it was the perfect weather for a trip to the zoo. Itadori Yuji was up early, bouncing with excitement, and his enthusiasm quickly became infectious.
Even your boyfriend, who had initially grumbled about being dragged to a “smelly zoo” eventually caved in to his nephew Yuji’s pleas — especially after you flashed him a knowing smile and those eyes, reminding him how much this meant to his nephew. He couldn't deny you, no matter how much he tried. He grumbled loudly about it before finally saying yes. But you knew just as much that he was enjoying himself.
You haven’t been in a zoo in a very long time, that much you could be honest about. Sukuna doesn’t seem to care for it either growing up. But you think that this was going to be great for Yuji. He adored animals. Even just seeing them on the television makes him happy and curious. It was his first time going and seeing animals like this, up close. And you just know that it would be such a great time for him.
As soon as you arrive, Yuji is practically vibrating with energy. He tugs at your hand and points at the map, his little face glowing with excitement. “Auntie, Uncle, can we see the lions first? And then the penguins! Oh, and the monkeys too!” he babbles, his words tumbling over each other in his eagerness.
You nod with a smile. “Of course, Yuji. We have all day to see everything!”
Sukuna shakes his head, hiding a grin. “Just try not to run off, brat.” he warns, ruffling Yuji’s hair. “We don’t want to be chasing after you like yesterday at the playground.”
Yuji beams up at him. “Okay, Uncle Sukuna! I’ll stay with you!”
You spend the morning moving from one exhibit to another, enjoying the wonder in Yuji’s eyes as he watches the animals with wide-eyed fascination. He claps excitedly at the lions, laughs at the playful monkeys, and insists on mimicking the penguins’ waddles, much to your amusement and Sukuna’s reluctant chuckles.
You take plenty of photos, capturing the joy on Yuji’s face and even getting a rare shot of Sukuna smiling genuinely, one arm slung casually around your shoulders as he watches Yuji with a fond, if exasperated, expression. You think that you’ll have fun looking through it and printing it out for the photo albums. You were sure Kaori and Jin would love to have some copies too.
By lunchtime, you settle down at a picnic table near the petting zoo area. You hand Yuji a juice box, and he takes it eagerly, swinging his legs and chattering non-stop about the animals he’s seen and what he wants to see next. You all carefully eat your lunches and just let the food settle down for a little while. Sukuna sat beside you, drinking a big glass of cola to try and cool off the heat.
“Auntie, Uncle, can we see the elephants next?” Yuji asks between sips, his face flushed with excitement.
You nod. “Absolutely. After we finish lunch, we’ll head over there.”
“That's on the other side of the zoo.” Sukuna points out to you.
You looked at your boyfriend with a small smile. “And guess what? We’re still going!”
Yuji grins and quickly finishes his juice, already standing up and tugging at your arm. “Okay, let’s go now!”
You laugh softly, but Sukuna gently pulls him back to the table. “Hey, slow down, kid. Let us finish our food first.”
Yuji pouts for a moment but eventually nods, bouncing on his toes while he waits. A few moments pass, and you’re almost done with your meal when a family nearby starts laughing loudly, drawing Yuji’s attention. Curious, he takes a few steps toward them, his bright almond eyes wide with interest.
“Yuji, stay close to us.” you remind him, keeping an eye on him as he moves closer to see what’s happening.
But as you turn to answer a question from Sukuna, just for a second, when you look back, Yuji is gone. Your heart drops to your stomach as your eyes open widely, your mouth shaking as you try to speak. You suddenly couldn’t speak and fright started to get to you.
“Yuji?” you call out, your voice a bit louder now, scanning the area. Panic begins to creep into your chest.
Your boyfriend Sukuna immediately stands up, his expression shifting from relaxed to alert in an instant. You can tell by the look in his eyes. He was just as panicked.
“Where’d he go?” he asks, his voice tight with concern.
You feel a knot forming in your stomach as you look around frantically. “He was just here, babe…i just….”
Sukuna curses under his breath, his eyes scanning the crowded area with growing urgency. “Yuji!” he calls out, louder this time, his voice cutting through the chatter of the crowd.
You quickly weave through the nearby groups of people, calling Yuji's name, your heart racing. You could feel the knot of guilt in you. Your mind started to race with many thoughts. You could have looked after him better, you could have been more vigilant. You were the adult. How could you let this happen? Sukuna is right behind you, his hand protectively on your back as you search, his expression darkening with worry.
“He couldn't have gone far, babe.” you say, trying to keep the panic from your voice. “He’s probably just wandered off… right?”
Sukuna clenches his jaw, a determined look crossing his face. “Yeah, but we need to find him now.” he says firmly.
You both decided to split up, checking around the petting zoo and nearby exhibits. Your heart is pounding in your chest, and a dozen scenarios flash through your mind. But you push them aside, focusing on finding Yuji.
Minutes feel like hours as you weave through the crowds, your desperate voice growing hoarse from calling his name. Just as your heart is about to leap into full-blown panic, you hear a familiar, small voice.
“Auntie?”
You turn sharply and spot Itadori Yuji standing a few feet away, holding the hand of a zookeeper. Relief floods over you as you rush over, immediately dropping to your knees and wrapping your arms around him. You could feel like you were going to burst into tears just holding him like this. You were relieved. He was here. He was safe. He’s okay. You thank the gods above.
“Yuji! Thank goodness, you’re okay!” you say, your voice trembling with relief.
Yuji looks up at you with wide eyes, his lower lip trembling. “I’m sorry, Auntie. I just wanted to see the elephants…”
You hug him tighter, feeling your boyfriend’s presence beside you as he drops down to Yuji’s level, his expression stern but his eyes soft. He must have seen you both and ran over here as quickly as he could. He purses his lips int a tight line as he observed his nephew for injuries or bruises and even cuts.
“Brat, you scared us.” Sukuna says, ruffling Yuji’s hair more gently this time. “You have to stay close, got it? Don’t do that again.”
Yuji nods, tears brimming in his bright big eyes. “I’m sorry, Uncle Sukuna… I didn’t mean to…”
Sukuna’s expression softens completely, and he sighs, pulling Yuji into a hug. “Yeah, yeah, it’s okay, brat.” he mutters, his voice a little rough. “‘s not your fault, okay? Just….hold my hand next time.”
Yuji nods against his shoulder, and you reach over, brushing a tear from his cheek. “Come on, let’s go see those elephants, hmm? Together this time,” you say softly.
Yuji sniffles but nods, and you stand up, taking his hand. Sukuna rises too, keeping a protective arm around you both. “Yeah, together.” he agrees, his tone firm but warm.
You thank the zookeeper and solemnly leave, with Sukuna carrying Yuji in his arms still trying to comfort him. Your boyfriend pat his nephew’s back, stroking it over and over to comfort him. It broke your heart that Yuji was upset. But he was here. And he’ll be okay. That’s all that mattered to you. You knew just as much that Sukuna was the same.
The three of you head toward the elephant exhibit, Yuji keeps close between the two of you, his little hand gripping yours tightly, and Sukuna’s hand resting on his shoulder. Despite the scare, you feel a sense of calm wash over you, knowing that as long as you’re all together, everything will be alright.
── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──
day three
THE SLEEP WAS ROUGH LAST NIGHT. You didn’t want to let go of Yuji in your sleep. He had ended up not wanting to leave your bed last night and slept with you and Sukuna in your bedroom. He still was anxious from being lost, you can’t help but think. And you don’t really blame him for it. Sukuna didn’t utter a word and just let it be, wrapping the covers on your bodies and went to close the night light.
Come morning, you wake up to the sound of muffled clinking and clattering coming from the kitchen. You couldn’t help but blink your eyes open, the early light filtering through the curtains. Beside you, Sukuna stirs, frowning slightly at the noise.
“What’s that racket?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes.
You sit up, listening closely. The noise continues — the unmistakable sound of plates and silverware being moved around, a chair being dragged across the floor. You glance at Sukuna, a smile tugging at your lips. “Sounds like our little guest is up to something.”
Sukuna narrows his eyes suspiciously. “That brat better not be doing anything dangerous in there.” he mutters, though there’s no real heat in his voice.
You both get out of bed and quietly make your way to the kitchen, peeking around the corner. There, in the middle of the kitchen, stands Yuji, a determined expression on his face as he tries to balance on a chair he's pushed against the counter.
His small hands are busy spreading a thick, uneven layer of butter on a piece of bread, followed by an enthusiastic dollop of jam. Nearby, a bowl of cereal overflows with milk, and a few spilled Cheerios are scattered across the counter.
Yuji mutters to himself under his breath, clearly focused on his task. “Okay, okay… just a little more…” He tips the milk carton a bit too far, and more milk splashes onto the counter. He gasps softly but quickly goes back to his sandwich-making, a look of concentration on his face.
You can’t help but smile, and Sukuna, despite his earlier grumbling, looks a bit amused too. “What’s he doing?” Sukuna whispers, leaning closer to you.
“I think… he’s making us breakfast, babe.” you whisper back, feeling your heart melt a little.
Before you can say anything, Yuji notices you both standing there. His eyes widen in surprise, but then he beams, his face lighting up with pride.
“Auntie! Uncle Sukuna!” he exclaims. “Good morning! I… I made you breakfast!” He gestures to the chaotic spread on the counter, looking so proud of himself that you can’t help but feel a swell of affection.
You step forward, giving him a warm smile. “Wow, Yuji! This looks… delicious!” you say, trying to sound as genuine as possible while suppressing a laugh at the mess.
Sukuna crosses his arms, one eyebrow raised, but there’s a soft look in his eyes. “Yeah, brat, you really outdid yourself.” he says with a small grin. “What’s the occasion?”
Yuji’s smile falters a little, and he looks down at his feet, shuffling nervously. “I… I wanted to say sorry for yesterday.” he mumbles. “I didn’t mean to make you worry… So I wanted to make you a special breakfast to make up for it.”
Your heart melts at his sincerity. You crouch down to his level and pull him into a gentle hug. “Oh, Yuji, you don’t have to do that for us.” you say softly. “We know you didn’t mean to worry us. We’re just happy you’re safe.”
Yuji hugs you back tightly, burying his face in your shoulder for a moment. “But I wanted to, Auntie!” he insists. “Because I love you and Uncle Sukuna… and I wanted to make you smile.”
Sukuna’s expression softens further, and he crouches down next to you, ruffling Yuji’s hair. “Hey, brat, you already made us feel relieved.” he says gruffly, though his voice is unusually gentle. “But I guess we should at least taste this fine meal you’ve prepared, huh?”
Yuji’s face lights up again, and he nods eagerly. “Yes! I made a sandwich and cereal! It’s my favorite!”
You and Sukuna exchange a glance, amused but touched by Yuji’s earnestness. You take a bite of the butter-and-jam sandwich, doing your best to keep a straight face as the unevenly spread butter melts on your tongue alongside a very generous layer of sweet jam.
“It’s… unique.” you say, giving Yuji a big smile. “Thank you, Yuji.”
Sukuna follows suit, picking up the cereal bowl and taking a careful sip of the overly milky concoction. “Mmm.” he says with a nod, holding back a chuckle. “Not bad, brat. Not bad at all.”
Yuji beams, clearly delighted by your reactions. “Yay! I’m glad you like it!” He claps his hands, his earlier nerves completely gone now.
You reach over and give Yuji another hug. “Thank you for being so thoughtful, Yuji.” you say warmly. “You’ve definitely made our morning.”
Sukuna nods, wrapping an arm around Yuji’s shoulders. “Yeah, brat….you’re alright.” he says, a rare softness in his tone. “But next time, let’s make breakfast together, okay? Might save a little bit of the kitchen from total destruction.”
Yuji giggles, nodding eagerly. “Okay, Uncle Sukuna! Next time, we’ll make pancakes!”
You smile, feeling a wave of warmth wash over you as you look at the two of them. Despite the mess, despite the unexpectedness of it all, you can’t think of a better way to start the day.
Later that morning, as you and Sukuna help Yuji clean up the kitchen — which now looks like it’s survived a mini tornado — your phone rings. You glance at the screen and see it’s Jin calling. You exchange a quick look with Sukuna, who’s wiping a smear of jam off the counter, and answer the call.
“Hey, Jin!” you greet him warmly, keeping an eye on Yuji, who is carefully stacking dishes in the sink. “How’s everything going?”
Jin’s voice comes through, sounding a bit tired but cheerful. “Hey! We’re wrapping up at work sooner than we thought. Kaori’s gonna arrive in a day or two. I just wanted to let you know I’m on my way back home. I should be there in a few hours.”
You feel a pang of mixed emotions — relief that Jin and Kaori are safe and on their way back, but also a little sadness knowing this means Yuji’s stay with you is coming to an end. “That’s great news, Jin.” you say, glancing at Yuji. “We’ve had such a fun time with Yuji, he’s been wonderful.”
Jin laughs. “I’m glad to hear that! I hope he wasn't too much trouble for you guys.”
Sukuna snorts softly, overhearing the conversation. “Trouble? That’s an understatement.” he mutters, though there’s a fondness in his voice that he doesn’t bother hiding.
You grin at Sukuna’s comment before turning your attention back to Jin. “No trouble at all.” you assure him. “Yuji’s been an absolute sweetheart.”
Jin sighs, a smile evident in his tone. “Thanks for looking after him. We’ll come to pick him up as soon as we get back.”
You hang up the phone and turn to Yuji, who’s watching you with wide, curious eyes. He tilts his head slightly. “Was that Daddy?” he asks, his little voice hopeful.
You nod, smiling gently. “Yes, Yuji. Your dad said he and your mom are on their way back. They’ll be here to pick you up soon.”
Yuji’s face falls, and his shoulders slump. “But… but I don’t wanna go home yet.” he murmurs, his lower lip jutting out in a pout. “I’m having so much fun with you and Uncle Sukuna…”
Sukuna raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he looks down at his nephew. “Oh, come on, brat.” he says, trying to sound stern but failing miserably. “You miss your parents, don’t you?”
Yuji frowns and shakes his head, his small hands clenching the hem of his shirt. “But I wanna stay here longer! We didn’t even make cookies yet!” he protests, looking between you and Sukuna with pleading eyes.
You kneel down to his level, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. “Yuji, we’ve had so much fun with you, and we’re going to miss you too.” you say softly. “But your mom and dad miss you too, and they can’t wait to see you.”
Yuji’s eyes welled up with tears, and he looked down, his voice barely a whisper. “I know… but I like being here… with you two.”
Sukuna sighs, his expression softening. He crouches down beside you, his hand resting on Yuji’s shoulder. “Hey, brat.” he says, his tone gentler now, “Just because you’re going home doesn’t mean we won’t see you again. We’ll have more fun days together, I promise.”
Yuji sniffles, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Really?”
“Really.” Sukuna confirms, ruffling his hair. “And next time, we’ll definitely make those cookies, huh? Maybe even chocolate chip ones. What do you say?”
Yuji’s face brightens a little, and he nods, his tears already forgotten at the mention of chocolate chip cookies. “Okay… but can we still go to the park one last time before I go home?”
You exchange a glance with Sukuna, and he rolls his eyes playfully. “Alright, one last trip to the park.” he concedes with a smirk. “But only because you already made us breakfast.”
Yuji grins, and you can’t help but smile too, your heart feeling full. “Let’s get ready, then.” you say, standing up and taking Yuji’s hand. “One more adventure before your parents come to get you.”
Yuji cheers, jumping up and down excitedly. “Yay! Let’s go!” he exclaims, all traces of sadness gone.
As you head out the door, you feel Sukuna’s hand slip into yours, giving it a light squeeze. “You’re good with him, you know? Thank you for that, babe.” he murmurs, a rare softness in his voice.
You smile up at him. “Oh, you don’t have to thank me. You’re just as good with taking care of him, you know? Love that about you, babe.” you reply.
Sukuna couldn’t help but snorts but doesn’t disagree, a faint blush coloring his cheeks as he leads the way, Yuji’s laughter filling the air. And for now, that’s all that matters.
── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──
epilogue
Itadori Choso finally arrives home from college after a long drive. He was eager to spend some time with his little brother, Yuji. Being far gone in college, all he thinks about is when he’d get to play with his little brother. And he can’t wait. He steps into the house, dropping his bags by the door with a loud thud, and immediately calls out in front of his mother.
“Yuji! I’m back!”
Yuji, who has been doodling in the living room, perks up and runs over to greet him. “Big brother!” he shouts, throwing his arms around his older brother in a big hug. But no sooner has he hugged Choso than he starts babbling excitedly. “Guess what! I had the best time ever with Uncle Sukuna and Auntie!”
Choso’s smile wavers slightly, and he looks down at Yuji with a puzzled expression. “Oh, did you?” he asks, his tone laced with a bit of unease. “What did you do with them?”
Yuji’s eyes light up as he launches into a detailed recount of every moment spent with you and Sukuna, from the trip to the zoo to making breakfast and playing at the park. “And then Uncle Sukuna said we’ll make chocolate chip cookies next time! And Auntie said we could go to the beach too!”
Choso’s smile turns into a slightly forced grin as he listens, nodding along but feeling a twinge of jealousy in his chest. “Wow, sounds like you had… a lot of fun.” he says, trying to keep his voice light. “But hey, I’m back now, so we can have fun too, right? We can do all the things we used to do!”
Yuji’s face scrunches up in thought for a moment before he shrugs. “I guess…” he says, a bit too nonchalantly for Choso’s liking. “But Uncle Sukuna is really funny, and Auntie gives the best hugs. And we were going to make pancakes!”
Choso’s eye twitches slightly. “I can make cookies too, you know,” he says, sounding just a tad defensive. “I’ve been making them for you since forever, Yuji.”
Yuji nods, but he looks unconvinced. “Yeah, but… Uncle Sukuna flips them really high in the air. And Auntie says we can put as many chocolate chips as we want!”
Choso crosses his arms, his brow furrowing. “Oh, really?” he mutters. “Well, I bet Uncle Sukuna can’t make cookies shaped like dinosaurs like I can.” He puffs out his chest a little, feeling smug.
Yuji’s eyes widen for a second, but then he shrugs again. “Maybe!” he admits. “But Uncle Sukuna and Auntie took me to the zoo and the park, and we saw a real dinosaur—uh, I mean, a lizard that looked like one!”
Choso’s eyebrow twitches again, and he huffs. “Yeah, well, that’s cool and all, but I’m way cooler than Uncle Sukuna, right?” he says, trying to sound casual, but his voice pitches a little higher than usual.
Yuji tilts his head, considering this for a long, exaggerated moment. “Umm… I dunno…” he finally says, looking genuinely torn. “You’re both cool. But Uncle Sukuna can lift me with one arm! Can you do that?”
Choso frowns. “Of course, I can! I’m your big brother!” He scoops Yuji up in a single swift motion, lifting him high into the air. “See? I’m strong too!”
Yuji giggles, kicking his legs. “Okay, okay! You’re strong too, Choso!”
Choso sets him down with a triumphant grin, feeling like he’s finally won this little contest. “See? You don’t need Uncle Sukuna. You’ve got me.”
But then, just as Choso thinks he’s secured his place as Yuji’s favorite, you and Sukuna walk through the front door, having stopped by to return a forgotten toy. Yuji’s face lights up like a thousand-watt bulb. “Auntie! Uncle Sukuna!” he squeals, running over to you both.
Choso watches, deflated, as Yuji clings to your leg, babbling excitedly about your return. He turns to Sukuna, glaring a little. “So, you think you’re the cool uncle, huh?” he grumbles.
Sukuna smirks, crossing his arms with a cocky grin. “I don’t think, kid. I know.”
Choso rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath, “I knew I should’ve stayed home this semester…”
You laugh, noticing Choso’s pout, and lean in conspiratorially. “Don’t worry, Choso.” you say with a wink. “There’s always room for many cool people in Yuji’s life.”
Choso sighs but manages a smile. “Yeah, yeah, I guess so.” he mutters, giving in with a playful eye roll. “But I’m still making those dinosaur cookies with him today.”
Yuji bounces up and down excitedly. “Dinosaur cookies with chocolate chips!” he exclaims, clearly enjoying this newfound competition for his affection.
Sukuna scoffs, grinning. “Game on, Choso. Game on.”
And with that, Choso knows his days of being Yuji’s favorite are numbered… but at least it’ll be fun trying to win back the title.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna#ryoumen sukuna#jjk sukuna#jujutsu sukuna#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen x you#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#ryoumen sukuna x reader#jjk sukuna x reader#sukuna ryoumen x reader#itadori yuji#yuuji itadori#yuji itadori#yuji#jjk choso#jjk fluff
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Nightwing's weird fem-coding
! LONG POST !
Finally got around to jotting down my thoughts on the weird way that Dick Grayson (Nightwing) often occupies female-coded roles without being a particularly feminine guy. This is entirely due to me procrastinating on my finals. Okay!
Dick has often been cited as the hero who plays into the "female gaze", and he takes up some key roles that are typically reserved for women characters.
A large portion of Dick's fem-coding is contingent on his being with his family, and when he's not with them, this fem-coding kinda drops away, such as when he's with his various teams or acting solo.
His most prominent (and imo, complex) femme-coded role is:
-> Eldest Daughter + Widow
Eldest daughter syndrome means " frequently feeling like you’re not doing enough, like you’re struggling to maintain a veneer of control, like the entire household relies on your diligence." It's born out of the unique way that first-born girls are expected to take on adult roles around the household before they've had an opportunity to fully experience childhood (an opportunity their younger siblings will have, in part due to this sacrifice). It creates a strong sense of independence and a desire to be a good role model, but also leads to undue pressure and perfectionism.
Dick acts as a central emotional pillar for those in his family. To the point that when he fakes his death, it breaks something fundamental in the family dynamic:
Not only is it repeatedly made clear that Bruce depends on Dick to act as a lifeline for his own mental struggles, but moreover, his siblings do as well. In a very literal sense, the maintenance of the batfamily rests on Dick's shoulders. Bruce is so rarely available for emotional support that these children turn to the next best thing, which, to be fair, is better than what Dick had growing up. He has to clean up so many breakdowns, it's honestly pretty staggering.
As the OG sidekick, Dick receives quite a bit of hero worship, particularly from younger heroes/sidekicks, who look toward him for guidance. As a naturally upbeat and welcoming person, Dick ends up in the position of bringing light to everyone, not just Bruce. For example, here's Cassandra:
This balancing effect is unique to Dick's skill set. However, this can (and does) backfire very easily. The same pragmatism Bruce engages in hurts extra bad when coming from Dick: like when Dick had to take Robin away from Tim. Not to mention just how intimidating Dick's legacy is, which can create resentment when his successors aren't able to play this role so easily. For example, Jason both before and after his death expressed insecurity that he felt he was constantly being compared to Dick, and falling short.
As the original character that people think of when they think "sidekick", DG Robin (and his successors) had the advantage of not losing prominence even as his contemporaries (Kid Flash, Aqualad, Wonder Girl, etc.) were de-prioritized in favor of independent teenaged heroes (like Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire). But that means Robin as a concept now has to deal with questions that weren't so prominent in the earlier decades, such as: "How do we justify a grown-ass man using a child (and in fact, children) as emotional crutches?"
It's icky to think about, but there's no denying that early Batman and Robin got side eyes for homosexual subtext. I mean, they literally call each other "partners". So while that "subtext" was, and remains, just audience speculation, given Dick is literally Bruce's adopted son, there is room, I believe, to call into question how healthy it is for Bruce's oldest kid to be taking on a nearly-parental role and be a core pillar of Bruce's emotional regulation.
Hot take here, but I think Dick's relationship with Bruce was/has been pretty emotionally incestuous for a long time.
-> Emotional incest
"Emotional incest[...] is a type of emotional abuse performed by a parent. In cases of emotional incest, parents rely on their children for significant emotional support, which is a reversal of roles. Emotional incest is more than just relying on your kids on occasion—rather, it is an extreme dependence on them." (There's a pretty good argument to be made that Bruce has been emotionally incestuous with all his Robins, especially Dick and DEFINITELY Tim, but y'know. Small steps.)
Emotional incest is a semi-common consequence of eldest daughter syndrome; the natural conclusion of deputizing a child to manage the other children combining with an inability to see the child as a child, still in need of emotional guidance, but more like an adult capable of shouldering the burdens of grown-ups dumping their traumas on them.
To be clear here, while emotional incest may not be incest in the most traditional, taboo sense, it is still abuse. It's putting a burden on a child they shouldn't have to carry, even for children that aren't dealing with such extreme burdens as "grown-ass man running around in a fursuit needs me to keep him from getting himself killed". It's a perversion of a healthy parent-child relationship, where the child is treated more like a partner than a child. In Dick's case, it further exacerbates the parentification he already experiences. This is made more explicit when Bruce "dies" and Dick is cast into a sort of "Widow" role.
Dick reluctantly dons the cowl in an attempt to bring order to his family members. He's also left to parent Damian, alone. He has to make the decision to take Robin from Tim, and try to deal with the fallout from that decision. He has to put a stop to Jason's fratricidal rampage. He's made into the de-facto head of the family.
And the thing about this is: Dick's not even bad at it. In comparison to Bruce's litany of disasters-in-parenting, Dick does a pretty bang-up job of managing his siblings, heading the Justice League, and being Batman. But the crucial point is that he does this at the expense of his own mental health, which is the crux of eldest daughter syndrome. There's no denying that at the time, Dick was most certainly the best choice for New Father Figure, but it was a choice he was pushed into, and a sacrifice he had to make. When this sense of responsibility to the point of self-sacrifice is pushed to its logical conclusion, it has the effect of making Dick a Martyr-type figure.
-> Protector/Mama Bear/Avenger
Dick has shown repeatedly that his hot button is his family. From Tony Zucco to allowing Blockbuster to be killed after the villain targeted Haley's Circus, going after Nightwing's family is a pretty good way to earn yourself an asskicking. Probably the most infamous example of this is when Dick thought the Joker had killed Tim, beating the clown to death to avenge both Tim and Jason.
And while this role isn't particularly feminine, I do think it's interesting that Dick protects his family members from each other with almost the same frequency that he protects them from outside threats. He's pretty notorious for wrangling Damian and Tim, foiling Jason's murder plans, and most importantly, beating the shit out of Bruce whenever he crosses a line, such as when Bruce asks Dick to conceal being alive from their family to join Spyral or when Bruce wanted to abandon the Bruce Wayne persona after the murder of Vesper Fairchild. Or of course, more recently after Bruce's latest MK-ULTRA shenanigans.
This basically puts Dick in the position of being the glue that holds the family together, at basically all times, but especially in times of conflict. This also means he's put in the dangerous position of bodily defending his younger siblings from Bruce's wrath or irresponsibility, a position made even more awkward given the whole emotional incest thing.
That's not to say that Dick's relationship with his family is 100% unhealthy. Dick and his family members (including Bruce!) feel legitimate affection and care for each other. There are times when the dynamics here are indeed healthy. And like most people with eldest daughter syndrome, the unhealthy nature of this dynamic is usually understated. Oldest sibling syndrome is often just an unavoidable consequence of how parenting works. So while I am of the opinion that this dynamic is often unhealthy, hot take: I'm fine with that.
Now, though I've just listed some tropes that he only falls into around family, Dick also falls into some fem-coding all the time, regardless of who he's with, and these have to do mostly with his sexuality.
-> Sexual Assault & Harassment
Yeah, so nobody is surprised that this is a factor. Look up any list of the top ten hottest/sexiest/most attractive male superheroes, I guarantee 9/10 times Nightwing is number 1. However, unlike his father, whose attractiveness is usually played as a part of the male wish-fulfillment fantasy, something people aspire to be, Dick's attractiveness more often makes him an object of desire- very similar to how most attractive female characters are perceived.
And as an object of desire, Dick Grayson is constantly having to deal with being objectified.
Now, Dick Grayson being an attractive character is not the problem. Dick Grayson being sexually assaulted isn't even the problem. the problem is that he keeps being harassed, assaulted, and raped in ways that are flagrantly nonconsensual, and yet it's not treated with the seriousness it deserves. In fact, it took a full decade for Devin Grayson to retract her previous statement and admit that yes, the rooftop scene with Catalina Flores was in fact rape, and it's never been acknowledged in-universe (though, comics have always been atrocious at calling out sexual abuse of all kinds, let alone that which targets men).
Hell, even when he in-universe calls it out, he's dismissed immediately and the story continues like nothing happened.
Like???
Dick's adult sexcapades (which were consensual and enthusiastic) have long contrasted with the numerous times he's been harassed; times in which he comes across as bored, exasperated, and even frustrated with his own attractiveness and the vulnerable position it often leaves him in.
This puts him in the rare (in comics) position of being a male character who consistently and near-exclusively has his sexual agency and boundaries violated by women - a position that authors uniformly refuse to examine despite writing him into it all the fucking time.
Other characters around him frequently make comments passing off this harassment and assault as a natural consequence of Dick's own attractiveness, making "jokes" that essentially amount to "I understand why someone would want to assault him". Which- UH?
There is also, of course, the unavoidable reality that as an acrobat and an aerialist, he receives a very specific type of sexual harassment
the nature of nightwing's fight style necessitates a type of tight-fitting suit that male heroes typically don't go for: an extremely slick suit with bare-minimum armour that again, makes him vulnerable in a way most male heroes aren't, but a style female heroes wear all the time, whether it makes sense for them or not. This of course then allows artists to draw attention to this fact by posing Nightwing in poses usually reserved for femme fatales:
And unlike the Hawkeye Initiative, these poses are (largely) unironic, and not played for jokes. Dick isn't arching his back or looking over his shoulder to poke fun at how female heroes are treated; he does so because the artist (clearly correctly) sincerely believed these poses would play into the unironic gaze of the audience, and also probably thought it was hot. It's the same line of thought artists use when posing femme fatales.
He's even been known to use his sexuality as a bargaining chip, much like more traditional Femme Fatales. In Batman and Harley Quinn (2017), he refers to sleeping with Harley Quinn after being kidnapped by her as one of "the things I do for Gotham", to which she responds "I'm taking that as a 'yes'." And that's uh- not how consent works.
And this particularly sucks because- HELLO? The opportunity to explore the very real and tragically underacknowledged phenomenon of sexual violence against men is literally invaluable, especially with such a prominent character. It's one thing to ignore that men face sexual violence, it's another, entirely more unforgivable thing to continuously and explicitly depict such scenarios and play them off as jokes or not as serious as they clearly are. But what did I expect from an industry that has never had a good track record on sexual violence anyway.
-> Queercoding?
There's also of course the fact that DC has been, as of late, dropping hints that Dick might be bisexual.
That on it's own doesn't mean anything, but when paired with the fact that DC has been angling toward giving Dick a similar playboy persona that Bruce has, just with men included, it's just very interesting.
(BTW: The likelihood DC actually commits to making Dick bi is, uh, not a lot, but if they're gonna stick with this weird closet stuff for a while, let's hope they do so in a way that doesn't make him sound like a cross between Donald Trump and Harry Styles next time? Please?)
Anyway, all of this is basically to say I am forever fascinated by the gender dynamics of Dick Grayson, likely due to the fact that I'm projecting all my eldest daughter traumas onto him, and that someone who's background is in Gender Studies needs to get on this shit if they haven't already. I just love this character sm.
#this ended up taking/being way longer than I thought it would#but its done now so i can stop procrastinating yayyyy#shut up somaya#batfam#dcu#dc universe#batfamily#batman#dick grayson#nightwing
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About Alyssa Targaryen
Alyssa Targaryen, daughter of Jaehaerys and Alysanne and mother of king Viserys I and Daemon the Rogue Prince, is a character recently talked about due to her brief appearance in the TV show. The fan opinions about her seem strangely very positive. She's seen as a cool character and a good mother to her sons, because she took them dragonriding soon after giving birth. In relation to her younger sisters Alyssa is also seen as the better one or lucky for having a happy marriage with her brother and avoiding a more tragic fate. Certainly she's regarded as the most successful among the daughters of Alysanne because her descendants continued the dynasty. I've seen opinions that Jaehaerys and Alysanne only failed as parents to their younger children (from Daella and younger), who caused many problems, but they raised the older ones - Aemon, Baelon, Alyssa, Maegelle and Vaegon - to become good and decent people. There are also voices that she's just another dead mother, her character is uninteresting/unimportant compared to other sisters and she only exists in the story to have sex and birth future main characters.
After I read about Alyssa in Fire and Blood I found that all of the above opinions feel distinctly off the mark, especially in regards to her good character. Alyssa came off to me as rather unpleasant, mean and obssessed with sex, however the in-universe book's author, maester Gyldayn, doesn't portray any of her bad qualities as bad or undesirable in a princess, while at the same time he's very critical of her sisters' displaying similar faults.
Instead Gyldayn's portrayal of Alyssa focuses on showing her as a good sisterwife to Baelon and mother to Viserys and Daemon. That's what maester Gyldayn and Jaehaerys' propaganda want the readers to think about Alyssa while at the same time telling them that she was the most unfeminine woman she could be. That creates a powerful dissonance while reading about her as compared to others.
This post will be an analysis of Alyssa, her role in the family built on incest and how it affected her and her siblings, her relationships with focus on Baelon and Vaegon, her behaviour and causes of it, her effect on her siblings before and after her death. There will be some extrapolation and theorizing, but I hope it's within reason and will make a coherent argument that Alyssa wasn't like what Gyldayn presents her or what many fans think she was. So buckle up, this will be a long one.
Alyssa's role in the family
Alyssa is the second daughter, but she was born after Daenerys died (in the end of the same year, 60 AC), so functionally she's the eldest daughter, but the shadow of Daenerys hangs over her. Alyssa was her replacement in her mother's eyes until Alysanne realized when Alyssa was 6 years old that she didn't take after Daenerys, but Baelon. From a young age Alyssa preferred boy activities and didn't want to spend time with other girls.
The princess did not act like a girl, however. She wore boy’s clothes when she could, shunned the company of other girls, preferred riding and climbing and dueling with wooden swords to sewing and reading and singing, and refused to eat porridge.
One fundamental, glaring difference between young Daenerys and Alyssa was exactly the type of sibling dynamic they had with Aemon and Baelon. Daenerys was their older sister, a little queen and she was bossing them around.
The young princes loved their sister to distraction, it was plain to see, and Daenerys delighted in the boys, “especially in telling them what to do.”
Alyssa was the younger sister who was seeking her big brother's attention. She trailed after Baelon and, as it turns out later, she never really stopped.
Just as Baelon had once followed Aemon everywhere, Alyssa trailed after Baelon. “Like a puppy,” the Spring Prince complained. Baelon was two years younger than Aemon, Alyssa nearly four years younger than him…“and a girl,” which made it far worse in his eyes.
At this point in their lives she was just an annoying younger sister to Baelon.
Daenerys was a leader of her brothers, Alyssa - their follower. Even in the role of the older sister Alyssa was nothing like Daenerys. She wasn't a leader to her own younger siblings, instead she spurned them and stayed distant from them. It's also mentioned 3 times in the book that Daenerys told her pregnant mother that she wanted a younger sister. Alyssa reacted in an opposite way to Deanerys - she didn't want anything to do with her younger sister Maegelle and refused her company.
A gentle, selfless, and sweet-natured girl, and exceedingly bright, she soon attached herself to her sister Alyssa in much the same way that Prince Baelon had attached himself to Prince Aemon, though not entirely as happily. Now it was Alyssa’s turn to bristle at having “the baby” clinging to her skirts. She evaded her as best she could, and Baelon laughed at her fury.
Alyssa's shunning of other girls and having interest in boys' activities sets her apart from her sister. Maybe it was a result of young Alyssa wanting to be different in her mother's eyes than the dead sister she never knew. Probably she just wanted to spend time playing with her brothers so she emulated them. Also, she could have noticed their close bond to their father and tried to earn his love and approval by being like them. It is noticeable that, after losing Daenerys, Jaehaerys was less involved with raising his new children.
On the surface level, it's assumed that Alyssa is just another Arya-type, but I think she has a lot more in common with Cersei in her characteristics and relationships, even though her physical description (mismatched eyes - violet and green, crooked nose after an injury) is reminiscent of Tyrion. Perhaps Alyssa's description is meant to highlight that she's Lannister-coded.
Does the parallel between Alyssa and Cersei foreshadow a similar contrast between Cersei and Daenerys Stormborn in the future books? Perhaps Daenerys will be bossing around both Jaime and Tyrion like her namesake did with Aemon and Baelon.
Alysanne and Jaehaerys announced the betrothals of their older children in 68 AC. That's when it was decided that Alyssa will not take Daenerys' place as Aemon's wife. Instead, Alysanne planned to recreate her own relationship with Jaehaerys by deciding to marry their second son to second/eldest living daughter.
“Alyssa is for Baelon,” she declared. “She has been following him around since she could walk. They are as close as you and I were at their age.”
So a 7 year old Alyssa is told by her mother that she will marry Baelon, her favourite brother, that she's meant for him. That sounds similar to Cersei's belief how she was one with Jaime, that they belonged to each other. Cersei also switched with Jaime, pretending to be him to go to swordplay lessons. Only difference is that Alyssa was encouraged to pursue a romantic relationship with her brother, while Cersei was separated from Jaime and had to keep the affair secret. Alyssa was raised to be her brother's sisterwife and giving him children was the only expectation placed on her by her parents.
The Vaegon Incident
Another similarity between Alyssa and Cersei is that they tormented their little brothers. When I read about the incident with Alyssa pouring wine on Vaegon, I thought it was rather mean and too much. He only said something insensitive to Daella. But one incident of Alyssa being mean can be excused because she defended their younger sister. On the other hand, when she tomented him again, I had to take notice:
One day, mayhaps in an attempt to spur Vaegon into making more of an effort, he brought his sister Alyssa to the yard, shining in man’s mail. The princess had not forgotten the incident of the Arbor gold. Laughing and shouting mockery, she danced around her little brother and humiliated him half a hundred times, whilst Princess Daella looked down from a window. Shamed beyond endurance, Vaegon threw down his sword and ran from the yard, never to return.
Alyssa was 14 and Vaegon was 11. He was training with Baelon for a year at the insistence of their father. The maester claims that Alyssa humiliated Vaegon so badly because of something he'd said a year ago and she'd already punished him for? Either it's true and Alyssa holds grudges like Cersei or... she just hated Vaegon. And I think it wasn't really because of Daella.
Let's rewind to the pouring wine on Vaegon incident.
“I would never marry her,” the boy said, in front of half the court. “She can barely read. She should find some lord in need of stupid children, for that’s the only sort he will ever have of her.” Princess Daella, as might be expected, burst into tears and fled the hall, with her mother, the queen, rushing after her. It fell to her sister Alyssa, at thirteen three years Vaegon’s elder, to pour a flagon of wine over his head. Even that did not make the prince repent. “You are wasting Arbor gold,” was all he said before stalking from the hall to change his clothing.
Notice that Alyssa pours wine on him, but she doesn't say anything like "this is for Daella" or "how could you say that to her". It's only maester Gyldayn's conjecture that she was defending her sister (in his efforts to paint Alyssa as the good one among her sisters and completely unlike the simple-minded, promiscous or vain and ambitious ones). Alyssa and Daella weren't close, Alyssa had no interest in hanging out with her sisters and Daella was scared of her.
Her sister Maegelle became her guiding star, and she worshipped her mother, the queen, but her sister Alyssa seemed to terrify her.
To further prove that the close sibling bond between Alyssa and Daella just didn't exist and was entirely imagined by Gyldayn, let's move on to later years. Daella died in childbirth in 82 AC, I wonder what was Alyssa's take on that if she was such a sister protector and she had her own dragon? Rhaena flew on Dreamfyre and threatened Rogar when her mother, Alyssa Velaryon, died in childbirth and that woman robbed her of the crown. There was a huge rift between Rhaena and her mother for many years and she still came to her mother's deathbed and was deeply affected by her loss. I don't hear anything about Alyssa taking Meleys to the Vale to avenge Daella. Most probably she didn't care that much about Daella. Notice how we never hear anything about her ever interacting with her sisters except that she didn't like Maegelle trailing after her when they were little. Even the so-called defense of Daella happens without Daella being present. Was it really about her at all or was Alyssa just dunking on Vaegon because she had a good pretext? I think the answer is obvious.
If defending Daella wasn't the motivation for the first Vaegon incident then what could have caused Alyssa to lash out at him?
I think it was because Vaegon rebelled against the sibling marriage that was forced on him by their parents.
“Be sweet to your little sister,” King Jaehaerys told the prince when he was five. “One day she will be your Alysanne.”
So Vaegon was told that he's meant for Daella, just like Alyssa is meant for Baelon, but unlike Alyssa, he protested the match and he made sure that everyone knew about it. Gyldayn did say that Vaegon was no coward. It was certainly brave of the boy to defy their parents' will in a public setting. Alyssa never did anything like that. To be fair, Gyldayn never mentioned what was Alyssa's reaction to her betrothal to Baelon. As a child, she might not have understood what it really meant and just agreed. He was her favourite brother after all. In Vaegon's case things were different as he and Daella disliked each other. On Baelon's side of things, he was too dutiful to Alysanne to refuse the match.
At the time of the first Vaegon incident Alyssa is 13, she's older and she understands more about what marriage to Baelon means for her. Maybe she wishes she protested it when she had a chance and now it's too late and she's jealous that Vaegon got to refuse Daella. Maybe she's already so indoctrinated into believing sibling incest is their destiny as Targaryens that she wants to "correct" Vaegon for rebelling against their entire system of belief. What's worse, he wasn't punished for his defiance and forced to marry Daella anyway, but instead he got his way. Alysanne listened to him and convinced Jaehaerys to search for a different, unrelated bride for Vaegon. And Alyssa probably knew that Alysanne was never going to call off the marriage to Baelon.
What's interesting is that first Vaegon incident happens same year that Baelon is knighted, receives Dark Sister and claims Vhagar. Baelon gets the holy insignia and is the new Visenya of his generation. Baelon, not Alyssa, the tomboy who likes swordfighting, who is a Targaryen, a future sisterwife raised on the story of the Conquest. Even if it's not outright said in the text, Alyssa probably idolizes Visenya (like Arya did) and wants to be like her. Aemon will be a king like Aegon, Baelon took the spot of Visenya and all Alyssa has left is to be their Rhaenys and become a mother (also she will like sex in a marriage of love with her brother and die early like Rhaenys). And in fact, her son Viserys became the next king and was similar to Aenys. I wonder if Baelon's knighting happens before or after the first Vaegon incident. In any case, Baelon just took tomboy Alyssa's dream away from her and it will affect her future actions. He's not even a girl and he gets to be Visenya. Just how frustrated and angry Alyssa must be? And who she's going to take it out on? Maybe the younger brother she hates and can bully without any consequences?
After the first incident Vaegon was forced to train with Baelon and spend time with him for a year, but the yard incident was the first time Alyssa was included despite how much she loved training swordplay in her younger days. I'm going to assume that at 13-14 and knowing she'll marry at 15, Alyssa wasn't allowed to train anymore (or her time in the yard was greatly reduced) and instead she was forced into princess/wife lessons, learning to do things she always despised doing (like Cersei). So she sees Vaegon, getting to spend time with Baelon, her favourite brother (is he still her favourite at this point? well, she has no one else she's close to), doing things she likes doing and having absolutely miserable time of it. Alyssa must have been pissed - Vaegon gets to live her dream life at the moment and he dares to complain, he dares to dislike it. She'd kill to be in his position. She's just boiling with anger and envy. If only she was the third son, she wouldn't be forced to play her brother's perfect little bride. She could be just one of the boys and their relationship would remain as it was, uncomplicated. Maybe if she beats Vaegon, it would show everyone that she's better than him, better at being a son. Maybe her parents would realize it and something would finally change.
And of course nothing changed and she was cruel to her little brother for nothing. That's why I called the parallel to Arya rather surface, she never did anything like that to Bran or Rickon, while Cersei's hatred of Tyrion is well-documented. Also, both Vaegon and Tyrion are the bookish younger brothers with no real interest or ability to be warriors. No one defends them from their sisters, not even their parents.
Baelon completes the reenactment of the Lannister sibling dynamic because just like Jaime, he is complicit in the humiliation and traumatizing of his little brother (Vaegon - yard incident, Tyrion - Tysha incident). He brought in Alyssa, he made it happen. I wonder if Jaehaerys told him to do it, like Tywin did with Jaime. It would certainly make sense as Jaehaerys wanted Vaegon to toughen up, so using Alyssa to "motivate" him (train harder, a boy can't be beaten by a girl) could have been his idea all along.
It seems that Alyssa is the answer to the question "what-if Cersei was a Targaryen". And we know Cersei is not a good person at all. There's no evidence in text that Alyssa was a good person beyond her role as Baelon's wife. On the contrary, her treatment of Vaegon, furious rejection of Maegelle's company and non-existent relationship with Daella, who was scared of Alyssa, all prove that she wasn't a good sister to her younger siblings.
The parallels between Alyssa and Cersei are apparent. Even their two sons have some similar characteristics. Viserys and Tommen are seen as weak and soft, Daemon and Joffrey are bloodthirsty and violent.
The parallel of Alyssa to Rhaenys works as well with her son Viserys who is a weak king like Aenys and has warrior, ambitious younger brother Daemon, who was even called "second Maegor" by his contemporaries.
Marriage and dragonriding
After marriage Alyssa claims a dragon, Meleys (name starting with M like Meraxes, Rhaenys' dragon) but at first she wanted to claim Balerion, however the dragonkeepers talked her out of it.
Like her brothers before her, Alyssa Targaryen meant to be a dragonrider, and sooner rather than later. Aemon had flown at seventeen, Baelon at sixteen. Alyssa meant to do it at fifteen.
Again, Alyssa trailing after her brothers, trying to outdo them.
Meleys was as swift a dragon as Westeros had ever seen, easily outpacing Caraxes and Vhagar when she and her brothers flew together.
That really all sounds like a competition that Alyssa is constantly participating in against her brothers, but it's all in her head. She didn't claim the bigger dragon, so she took the faster one. Even her exaggerated bragging about sex sounds like she's trying to be manlier than Baelon.
Speaking of the real competition, Alyssa wasn't a participant, but she was a vital part of it. The competition from the start was between Baelon and Aemon. Baelon was always following his older brother. He started to learn swordfighting early to catch up, had public duels with him, got knighted and claimed Vhagar - a bigger and stronger dragon than Aemon's Caraxes - at 16, so he did it at an earlier age than Aemon did (he was 17). He wanted to outdo his elder brother and marrying Alyssa was a part of that competition. Baelon gets a dragonriding sisterwife, the eldest of their sisters, the one that Jaehaerys intended for Aemon the heir. Aemon marries only their aunt with a small amount of Targaryen blood and without the Valyrian look, who will never claim a dragon. So all around, for Baelon the marriage to Alyssa is a big win over his brother. He's more like their father King than Aemon is, he's more worthy of his love (being the heir).
Young Alyssa saw how close Baelon and Aemon were - it seems natural that she wanted to be included in their competition. But the brother she focused more on was Baelon, not necessarily Aemon (though outdoing Baelon is almost guaranteed to be the same as outdoing Aemon as well). She was trailing after Baelon, she wanted to be as close to him as Aemon, have that sibling bond. Her idea to claim Balerion, the only dragon bigger than Baelon's Vhagar, not to mention the Conqueror's dragon, would have allowed her to outdo both of her brothers. Choosing Meleys, a red dragon just like Aemon's Caraxes, but faster than both of their dragons, puts her on at least equal footing with Aemon, and as a superior to both of them in terms of speed. In the air, they aren't better than she is.
Aemon marries Jocelyn when he's 15 and she's 16, while Baelon is 13 and Alyssa is 9. Alyssa marries Baelon when she's 15 and he's 18. Looks like the wedding was rushed a year because the other princesses married at 16. The reason might be that after Rhaenys was born Jocelyn became unable to give birth again so the king and queen wanted Baelon and Alyssa to quickly make a future husband for Rhaenys. Or Jaehaerys already decided to pass over Rhaenys in succession and saw Baelon as Aemon's heir, therefore Baelon needed a male heir too. Or it was all still part of the brotherly competition of who has a son first.
It's also interesting that Alyssa didn't get pregnant right after the wedding despite the reported frequent sexlife of the couple. She gave birth to Viserys in 77 AC, when she was 17, so she waited around a year before getting pregnant. Daemon was born in 81 AC and Aegon in 84 AC. There was some family planning involved with these mostly even rest periods between pregnancies. For example, Rhaenyra had her second son after a year and the third son was born after 2 years. It's most likely that Alyssa was drinking moon tea, while Baelon was enthusiastic to have sons (and get a win over Aemon). All I'm saying is that this marriage wasn't just pure passion on her side. Alyssa agreed to give children to Baelon, but she controlled when it happened (unlike her mother who was forced to birth Valerion in 77 AC, same year as Viserys, then Gael in 80 AC). That's another similarity with Cersei, who admitted to controlling her own procreation, whose children she had, how many and when.
I think Alyssa wanted to have the time in between pregnancies to pursue her hobbies. Within fortnight after birthing her sons she takes them flying on her dragon and it's not because she wants to give them legendary beginnings - it's probably because she wasn't allowed to fly for months during the pregnancy and she was just impatient to do it again.
Despite claiming a dragon, Alyssa was still excluded. She wasn't allowed to help her brothers and father during the 4th Dornish War. They would never risk her dying like queen Rhaenys in Dorne. Alyssa never used her dragon or sword skills for anything (except humiliating Vaegon). When she tells Baelon that he's made for battles and she for birthing his children, I wonder if it was how she really felt inside? Was she just resigned to her fate at that point? That no matter how much she tried, she will never be a son to Jaehaerys or an equal partner to Baelon and Aemon. She will never be Visenya.
We know that if Cersei or Arya had a dragon, they'd go apeshit with power and go off burning their enemies. And you tell me Alyssa never had a thought to fly to Oldtown and burn the Citadel as the last "fuck you" to Vaegon? Never wanted to burn the Dornish ships alongside her brothers? Never dreamed to go exploring the world? Maybe she was satisfied with Baelon and he kept her home like an anchor. She wouldn't fly off without him. Maybe he and Vhagar ensured she stayed put in King's Landing. Alyssa fully accepted her role as the mother of Baelon's sons. She bent the rules of conforming to her gender, but she couldn't truly break them or she would have lost her privileges.
The truth of Alyssa's character is that in the end she always followed the rules set by her parents. In that way she was a dutiful daughter.
Sex and dragonriding
Sex and dragonriding were Alyssa's favorite activities and she spent hours on both. In her own words she likens them to each other. She says she mounted and rode Baelon and after claiming Meleys she compares herself to her dragon saying that they were both mounted and so lost their virginity.
“Red maidens, the two of us,” the princess boasted, laughing, “but now we’ve both been mounted.”
There's no mention if adult Alyssa still continued sparring, climbing and other masculine activities she preferred in her youth, but most likely she had to give them up in order not to risk any miscarriage. Instead she spent her time on sex and dragonriding - both physical activities that she was allowed and expected to perform. But the way she did them so much, so excessively is rather odd and has implications on her state of mind.
The princess was seldom long away from the Dragonpit after that day. Flying was the second sweetest thing in the world, she would oft say, and the very sweetest thing could not be mentioned in the company of ladies.
Except she did mention it when she announced that she rode Baelon and was going to do it again.
It seems that Alyssa replaced sparring in the yard with another activity she was doing exclusively with Baelon - having sex with him. Moreover, she puts emphasis on riding him, being on top. It suggests that she was still trying to outdo him. It was definitely a way for her to take control of some aspect of her life and their relationship.
Some readers dismiss passages about Alyssa's sexlife as just Gyldayn being gross and perverted. Her sexual behavior is brushed off as unimportant despite how uncommon and even unique her actions were. I can't think of any other female character in ASOIAF acting this way (let me know if there was one), even among the ones who liked sex.
The bride was fifteen, the groom eighteen. Unlike their father and mother, Baelon and Alyssa did not wait to consummate their union; the bedding that followed their wedding feast was the source of much ribald humor in the days that followed, for the young bride’s sounds of pleasure could be heard all the way to Duskendale, men said. A shyer maid might have been abashed by that, but Alyssa Targaryen was as bawdy a wench as any barmaid in King’s Landing, as she herself was fond of boasting. “I mounted him and took him for a ride,” she declared the morning after the bedding, “and I mean to do the same tonight. I love to ride.”
Alyssa is a 15 year old child bride who was so loud during her first time having sex that everyone in the castle heard it and talked about it, then she told them all her favorite sex position. And she was boasting about it. That is not a normal behavior of a girl that just lost her virginity. Gyldayn is weird not because he reported her abnormal actions and words, but because he tries to make them sound like a good thing and not something actually concerning. Just because she's so eager to have sex with her husband, it's all good and fun. And even then, she's compared to a bawdy barmaid (I'm not exactly sure from this wording if Alyssa is boasting that she's bawdy like a barmaid or Gyldayn compares her to a bawdy barmaid because she was fond of boasting about her sexlife). Gyldayn treats this story like a humorous anecdote.
Even if Alyssa was just a horny teenager, why was she so shamelessly discussing her wedding night in public? The reasons I could think of are:
An attempt to act more like a man than a woman by boasting of a sexual "conquest" (another question is if she even knew how women act, she wasn't close to any, but I'm going to assume she knew normal conduct and chose to act differently on purpose).
To say: "I was on top, so I'm the real boss in this marriage".
To embarrass and shame the gossiping courtiers (maybe? But then she kept having loud sex so maybe not).
As a passive-aggressive form of rebellion against her parents - "you can make me marry, but I'm going to act in a way that's as scandalous and embarrassing to you as possible while technically obeying the rules and doing what I'm supposed to do".
Because she feels so euphoric after the sex and she has a poor impulse control, so she's oversharing.
Because being shameless and bawdy is a part of her personality now.
Alyssa's unusual sexual behaviour is dismissed as her just being a horny teenager or having high sex drive or being so in love with Baelon or all of the above. The fact is that Alyssa's sexual habits didn't change until she died at 24 after complications from childbirth.
Alyssa's promiscuous behavior could be caused by her still emulating Baelon and following his lead like in her childhood. When they married he was 18, older and more knowledgeable. Baelon was a lusty lad, so she became bawdy like a barmaid to match him.
I think it can be argued that Alyssa exhibits signs of sex addiction.
Prince Baelon had not ceased smiling since his marriage. When not aloft, Baelon and Alyssa spent every hour together, most oft in their bedchamber. Prince Baelon was a lusty lad, for those same shrieks of pleasure that had echoed through the halls of the Red Keep on the night of their bedding were heard many another night in the years that followed.
One thing is being newlyweds, the other is spending many hours having sex and making it a habit for 9 years of marriage. From the sound of it Alyssa's life revolved around dragonriding and sex, excluding any other activities and company of other people. It seems extremely unhealthy. Spending this much time and focus on sex sounds like she's addicted.
Against all advice, his mother clapped the boy in swaddling clothes, strapped him to her chest, and took him aloft on Meleys when he was nine days old.
Unnecessary risky behaviour resulting in child endagerment? Check. That's what an addict would do. Their inhibitions and impulse control are often lowered.
Another sign of sexual addiction is "engaging in sexual behaviors that go against your personal values, religious beliefs or what society deems appropriate". Alyssa's loud sex and boasting about it definitely aren't what Westerosi society deems appropriate.
Next sign of sex addiction is engaging in paraphilia, like exhibitionism, voyeurism, sadomasochism. Alyssa's behavior is almost exhibitionistic. She's definitely skirting an edge here. She doesn't expose her sexlife to other people's eyes, but to their ears.
“They call me Baelon the Brave,” the prince told his wife at her bedside, “but you are far braver than me. I would sooner fight a dozen battles than do what you’ve just done.” Alyssa laughed at him. “You were made for battles, and I was made for this. Viserys and Daemon and Aegon, that’s three. As soon as I am well, let’s make another. I want to give you twenty sons. An army of your own!”
This quote says a lot. Baelon praised her for being so brave, because childbirth is dangerous and women died because of it - their grandmother Alyssa Velaryon, their sister Daella just died recently, their mother had difficult births with Valerion and Gael. Alyssa just laughs it off, dismisses his worry. She doesn't see the danger. Well, she survived it 3 times, so she's different than other women (she's not as she later doesn't recover and dies at 24). She wants to get back to it ASAP - or rather to the babymaking. That's a risky behavior that disregards her health in pursuit of what she's addicted to. She wants to get her fix.
All of this put together paints Alyssa as at least sex obssessed if not sex addicted, especially the amount of time she dedicates to it and her risktaking, reckless attitude, against justified worries of Baelon or maesters advice. Gyldayn could be exaggerating. Or he's just saying it how it was but makes it into a humorous, romantic tale. Of brother and sister that do nothing but fly on dragons and have sex. That's their entire marriage life. But the focus put on it really makes it look unusual. Jaehaerys and Alysanne had 13 children, but there are no "heartwarming" tales about how much time they spent in the bedroom.
Alyssa expressed a belief that she was made for giving birth, for procreation. She accepts her assigned role in life and finds as much enjoyment as she could in fulfilling it. There's nothing else. She was raised to do only this and the indoctrination worked too well. Alysanne wanted the couple to be like her own marriage and Alyssa emulates her by planning to have a bunch of kids, even though Alysanne was so much more to Jaehaerys - advisor, diplomat, lawmaker. Baelon even told Aemon that he leaves making law to him, because he prefers to make sons.
“I will leave the making of law to you, brother,” Prince Baelon declared, whilst drinking to Prince Aemon’s appointment. “I would sooner make sons.”
Apart from her environment and fulfilling expectations what could be the other causes of Alyssa's sexual behavior? It could be related to many mental health problems and we know Targaryens as a family have a predisposition to them. If she's addicted, it could be a response to personal trouble. A tomboy is forced to be a traditional wife, giving up her dreams. It could be a coping mechanism if she was feeling depression. Sex raises mood like alcohol. An addict wants to forget his troubles and just feel good. Alyssa's younger sisters, Saera and Viserra, also showed signs of addiction, both getting drunk when they were young teenagers. Saera at 12, Viserra at 15.
Alysanne was pregnant with Valerion and Gael around the time of both of Alyssa's pregnancies. I wonder what does it do to a pregnant woman to watch her mother be forced into risky pregnancies, having difficult labour and recovering for half a year after that? Did she feel like she was seeing her own future? That this will be her in 20 years? But it's too depressing to think about, so she had to ignore, repress, deny it. She was different, younger, stronger, she was in control of her body, Baelon wouldn't do that to her. This is her battle and she was made for this, she's a warrior. Her mother survived it 13 times, so Alyssa will too. Better stop thinking about it and go have sex or fly on a dragon.
Alyssa having depression may seem like a leap but as I said - she has a good reason. She's a tomboy turned housewife at 15. What are her real feelings on the marriage? Gyldayn never provides anything substantial. He says outright that "Prince Baelon had not ceased smiling since his marriage" and links it with all the sex he was having. Why didn't he say instead "Baelon and Alyssa were smiling", just Baelon? What about Alyssa? She's constantly dragonriding or having sex. Both of those activities are keeping her way from all other people except Baelon. It looks like she's isolating herself. When she interacts with others, she's bawdy and boasting about her sexlife (after wedding night, after claiming Meleys) or reaffirms her role in life as a childbearer (to Baelon and in front of the maesters after she gave birth to Aegon).
Alyssa's solitary activities after marriage and over the top enthusiasm for sex may be covering up her feelings of dissatisfaction with her life. Look at the similarity to her son Daemon, he had a reputation for his abundant sexlife and patronage of brothels when he was unhappily married to Rhea Royce. He couldn't even hold any position on a Small Council for long and Otto was undermining him and taking the spot as his brother's chief councilor. Daemon had plenty of reasons to be unhappy and dissatisfied with his life and that's when he was behaving promiscuously. Then it all disappeared after Rhea's death and him choosing a new wife for himself. It's likely Alyssa passed the predisposition to sex addiction to her son.
Other character acting similar to Alyssa in the series would be Robert Baratheon - a chief example of a depressed sex addict, but he was masking it by feasting and getting drunk all the time. Alyssa's main parallel, Cersei, became an alcoholic, which is just another type of addiction. Cersei also exhibited risky sexual behavior by having an affair with Jaime, having his children and everything that followed from that (like sex in the Broken Tower, her affair with Lancel).
Taking into account all of the above I'd say it looks like Alyssa developed a sex addiction and any type of addiction signifies deep personal trouble that one tries to forget/cope with.
Gyldayn portrays the marriage as happy, but the only one who was shown as happy was Baelon. Gyldayn sees that Alyssa liked sex, satisfied her husband's sexual needs all the time, accepted her role as a mother and gave birth to sons so he treats it like a successful marriage. But he doesn't care about what Alyssa felt, only Baelon.
Alyssa - the role model for Saera and Viserra
Alyssa resembles Cersei because of her "I'm not like the other girls" attitude. She wants to be in the boys' club with Aemon and Baelon and has nothing in common with her sisters. And she's said to avoid other girls' company. It's all rather strange. In a way she's like Alysanne, who was purposely deprived of female friends in her childhood by her mother, however in Alyssa's case it was a choice.
Despite Alyssa's distance she had a profound effect on both Saera and Viserra as their older sister. She was supposed to be their role model as a Targaryen princess. They were probably constantly compared to her and told that she's a good wife. If they want to be successful, they should be like Alyssa. Unfortunately for the younger girls, Alyssa is in fact a terrible role model.
Saera is the most similar to Alyssa out of all their sisters. This comparison is explicitly stated in the book, as according to her maesters Saera was:
as strong and quick and spirited as her sister Alyssa.
The similarities between the family's problem child and the parentally approved older sister are also in their behaviour, which Saera was probably copying off Alyssa. Saera even wanted to claim Balerion like Alyssa initially did before the dragonkeepers changed her mind. It's also interesting to note that:
Septon Barth tells us that Saera’s sisters all misliked her to various degrees.
That means Alyssa shared the common dislike for Saera despite keeping general distance from all her sisters and the 6 year age gap. What reason Alyssa would have to dislike Saera? I think the most possible reason was that Saera became Jaehaerys' favourite and could get anything she wanted, despite her general mayhem and misbehavior. Meanwhile, Alyssa's efforts to please him, first by being like the boys, then obediently marrying Baelon, didn't get her anything she wanted, apart from a dragon that she wasn't allowed to use for battle or for any other purpose than leisure flying. Jaehaerys was never the same after Saera's escape to Essos but there was no mention of his reaction to Alyssa's death. It's clear that Saera had his affection without trying, but Alyssa didn't, so Alyssa had a good reason to be jealous of Saera and dislike her.
Going in chronological order, the first similarity between Alyssa and Saera was their cruel and humiliating treatment of those who couldn't even defend themselves from them - their own siblings. Alyssa was cruel to her little brother Vaegon and humiliated him so badly that he completely gave up on learning the sword despite keeping up with it for a year, but no one ever mentions her actions as something bad. Vaegon was an unpopular, bookish and unhappy boy that wasn't good at traditional male activities like fighting, so Alyssa could bully him without any repercussions and even with a tacit permission from their father (reminds me of Sam Tarly situation). No wonder he lost confidence, closed off and took the first chance to leave the family that didn't love or protect him. No wonder he only visited when he was summoned and his letters to Alysanne were perfunctory.
Was Saera emulating Alyssa's cruelty? It's very possible. Saera was 6 and 7 years old when the two incidents of Alyssa bullying Vaegon happened. Saera might not have seen them (it's likely she did), but she definitely heard of them and saw how Alyssa was unpunished. It must have emboldened Saera's own cruel streak. Her first childhood victim was Daella who she kept scaring with her pranks (the prank with hiding bees in a chamberpot was definitely dangerous and cruel). Daella was an easy target as she was mentally disabled and delicate. Septon Barth noted Saera's jealousy of the attention Daella was getting from their mother. After Daella left, Saera started playing cruel and humiliating pranks on another mentally disabled person, the court fool Tom Turnip.
It's also worth noting that both Vaegon and Daella were in Jaehaerys' disfavour because they both failed to meet his expectations. Both were avoiding marriage in their own ways, Vaegon lacked martial talent and Daella's mental disability was the proof against the king's Targaryen supremacy propaganda. Jaehaerys was the driving force to send them away from their home, never to return. It seems that Alyssa was used by their father to teach Vaegon a lesson. Saera not only picked up on Jaehaerys' dislike for Daella, but also on his quiet approval of Alyssa's bullying of Vaegon. She knew it was allowed.
The next similarity between sisters was in their hypersexual behaviour. Saera was 8 years old when Alyssa got married and the tale of her wedding night spread. She must have heard some of Alyssa's boasting about sex, saying how much she loved it, or the often occuring loud sex sounds coming from her bedroom. It continued until Alyssa's death when Saera was 16, nearly 17. Saera's formative years were spent influenced by her sister's sex-obssessed example. Alyssa's behaviour was accepted by all, approved by their parents despite how unusual it was. It's no wonder Saera took a cue from her older sister and began her own sexual explorations as a teenager with her group of friends. She even sought out the older and more experienced Braxton Beesbury to be her Baelon substitute.
Like Alyssa, Saera also exhibited signs of sex addiction - risky sexual behavior, sex with multiple partners, sexually humiliating pranks on Tom Turnip (voyeuristic in nature - she wanted to see him naked, to see him having sex). We know she had an addictive personality as she became alcoholic when she was 12 years old.
Saera's scandalous sexual conduct was caught by her parents after Alyssa's death, in the same year. And she even used as one of her justifications that "Baelon used to kiss Alyssa all the time", proving that she took notice of their relationship and how sex-focused it was. She learned from them that a happy, successful marriage is based on having sex all the time. At the same time, the only other example she had was her parents, who were becoming distant from each other and stopped having sex (and their reasons for disagreeing were Daella's death and Jaehaerys forcing 2 risky pregnancies on Alysanne, which endagered her life). Aemon and Jocelyn lived on Dragonstone, so they couldn't serve as a more normal example of a married couple for Saera.
Viserra was also affected by Alyssa's bad example. She witnessed Alyssa's marriage from the age of 4 to 13 years old, so for most of her young life. According to Alysanne:
"She aims much higher, our Viserra. I have seen the way she preens and prances around Baelon. That is the husband she desires, and not for love of him. She wants to be the queen.”
So Alysanne started losing it because she thought that Viserra wanted to be the queen, while Aemon was the heir and married, so marrying Baelon would not make her a queen. Unless she suspected the sly Viserra to have a plan to get rid of Aemon and Rhaenys to get to the throne after marrying Baelon. However, the one who explicitly stated that she wanted to be a queen was Saera, not Viserra. Alysanne was confusing her daughters. Previously she had more accurate insights on her children. Maybe she was spending less time with them and focusing more on young Gael.
Alysanne statement has to be taken with a grain of salt, it's not entirely factual, but rather her opinion on Viserra. She can't allow Alyssa to be replaced in Baelon's heart, as she fashioned their marriage in the image of her own with Jaehaerys. She believes that Baelon and Alyssa are the true love story, so he can never remarry. Her solution to the danger of Viserra replacing Alyssa is to betroth her to the old lord Manderly. That way she'll stay far away from Baelon and Alyssa's memory will be preserved.
Viserra understandably protests the betrothal, but her parents are unyielding, so she decides to seduce Baelon by sneaking into his bed naked and drunk. The thing is, that behaviour wasn't Viserra's usual MO. She was known for playing with boys like puppies, manipulating them to do what she wanted and sending them on foolish quests. She wasn't a seductress. Then why did she take this straightforward approach with Baelon and just jumped into his bed?
“He married one sister, why not another?” Viserra told her closest friend, the empty-headed Beatrice Butterwell. “I am much prettier than Alyssa ever was, you saw her. She had a broken nose.”
This quote proves Viserra's interest in Baelon and also provides a lead to the reason for Viserra's actions. Based on what Viserra saw of Baelon's relationship with Alyssa, she concluded that Baelon only cares about sex and the only way to get his attention is to offer him her body. Viserra doesn't know how to interact with or romance her older brother. Alyssa spent most of her time with him by having sex, so that must be how it's done, right? It sounds like Viserra is unaware if there was anything other than sex between Alyssa and Baelon. She even thinks that he wouldn't care which sister he's having sex with.
It's important to note that Viserra is vain, but she is not stupid. She's described as sly and capable of manipulating people to do what she wants. A skilled manipulator has to be observant and notice things about people. And those are the conclusions she drew about Baelon and Alyssa's marriage which she observed for most of her life - that all he cared about was having sex with his sisterwife, that all a good sisterwife had to do was to be sexually available. It's possible that Viserra didn't understimate Baelon's actual loyalty to dead Alyssa, but only his sense of duty and honour. He didn't take advantage of her, even when she offered, but if his parents ordered him to marry her, he'd probably obey them like he always did.
Alyssa is seen as different and better then her younger sisters despite all the evidence to the contrary. The positive spin on her qualities is like the opposite of the negative spin on her sisters' characters. Basically, she gets special treatment (from both her parents and Gyldayn) because she married Baelon and fulfills the traditional role of wife and mother. On the other hand, when her sisters follow her example or want the same things she had, they are villainized. Saera is called "an evil child" by her septa, then "a whore" by her father and heavily punished, forced to watch her father kill her lover, Viserra is labeled as ambitious and manipulative by her mother.
Maegelle, Alyssa and the incestous family planning
Maegelle seems to most people like the sister that had the least to do with Alyssa, had a good life as a septa and was lucky to escape her sisters' various tragic fates. However, she was heavily impacted as a child by Alyssa and also their parents' plans for both of them.
Alyssa broke the chain of younger siblings trailing after the elder. Baelon followed Aemon, Alyssa followed Baelon, but when Maegelle tried to follow her, Alyssa was completely against it. Probably she just didn't want Maegelle joining the dynamic Alyssa had with their brothers, getting close to them and taking away their affection.
Maegelle joined the Faith of the Seven in 73 AC when she was 10 years old. It can be argued that Alysanne was always going to send one daughter to Oldtown, but did it have to be Maegelle and not Daella, Saera or Viserra at a later date? Maegelle could have married Vaegon or someone else, so why didn't she?
Jaehaerys' idea for arranging marriages was pretty simple, he wanted to pair them up by the order of birth - eldest son to eldest daughter, second son to second daughter and so on. It was Alysanne who had to intervene and tell him who liked who, he had no clue about the relationships between his children. According to Jaehaerys' matchmaking plan, Aemon would have married Alyssa, so logically I assume next would be Baelon and Maegelle, Vaegon and Daella. Alysanne must have seen problems with that, like the age gaps - 6 years between Aemon and Alyssa, 5 years between Baelon and Maegelle. She also made Jocelyn sit next to Aemon during a feast for his investiture as Prince of Dragonstone when he was 7 and saw that the two got along really well. So that is one example of Alysanne's successful matchmaking and arranged well in advance before the betrothals were made.
It's likely that Maegelle's future was sacrificed to appease the Faith so they wouldn't oppose another full sibling marriage - between Alyssa and Baelon. And that's why when the betrothals were made in 68 AC, Jaehaerys told Vaegon that he will marry Daella, not Maegelle who was older.
I wonder if Maegelle became pious because she was being prepared for her life as a septa or it had something to do with Alyssa rejecting her company. Maybe the religion provided Maegelle with some comfort and friendship. Maybe she didn't want to marry her brother or anyone at all and becoming a septa allowed her to avoid that fate. The opposite was also possible, what if Maegelle only wanted to please and imitate Alysanne, who was pious herself, but she didn't actually want to become a septa? Maybe she became pious because she was praying for something specific, had some wish? The point is we will never know what Maegelle wanted to do with her life as she was never asked and the choice was taken from her before she was grown enough to make it. And the same thing happened sooner or later to all the other siblings. In any case, Alysanne removed Maegelle from the marriage plans so that Alyssa could marry Baelon.
Was it fair to Maegelle to decide her whole life for her when she was so young? Was it fair to do the same to Alyssa or any of their other siblings? The moral of the story of all the children of Jaehaerys and Alysanne is simple - that parents controlling their children's future and deciding their whole lives and careers when they are 5-10 years old is unfair, awful and often has tragic consequences. Maegelle is as much of a victim here, she was said to be bright and studious as a child, she had intelligence and potential for greatness that was squandered by sending her to be a septa. Funny that Alysanne didn't notice that Maegelle, not Alyssa, was the most like her out of all her daughters. Maegelle with her gentleness, caring for the weak like Daella, charitableness could have been the next Good Queen.
Maegelle is regarded as the only sister that got away from tragedies of her siblings. But she was made to join a religious order as a child. She never had a choice or an opportunity to be anything different. When she died, nursing patients with greyscale, she was only 34 years old. She didn't even reach middle age. She lived only 10 years longer than Alyssa. Ironically, Saera could have outlived them all, as the last time she was mentioned, she was alive at age 34 during the Great Council of 101 AC.
Alyssa despite being portrayed as accepting of her duty and even enthusiastic about having more children, isn't the happy exception, the successful daughter. She has to give up on any of her previous dreams and aspirations, she has power - a dragon, that she's not allowed to use in battle as equal with her brothers. Despite having the role of Rhaenys she can't fight alongside her brothers, she has to stay behind and be protected by them. She's reduced to being just a wife and mother and it seems to me that her enthusiasm about sex is at best her simply finding pleasure and control in what little she's allowed to have and do. She makes the best of what she has because what else she can do? It can be even argued that she showed signs of sex addiction and was hiding her dissatisfaction and depression. She dies at 24 from complications after childbirth.
Both Alyssa and Maegelle were obedient daughters who spent their lives fulfilling their parents' expectations, following the paths they didn't choose, and died as a result without even reaching middle age. They are both tragic, but their parents, Gyldayn - and through them the book readers - don't realize it.
After Alyssa's death
After Alyssa's death her shadow is cast over her younger sisters. Saera and Viserra are condemned for pursuing what was once granted to Alyssa. They can't have a brother, a lover or a dragon. They aren't allowed to fill her shoes. Alysanne projects herself on Alyssa and won't let a younger and prettier queen take her place. You know she just hates the idea of Jaehaerys marrying a new woman after she's gone, because it would disprove their eternal love, so Baelon has to be forever Alyssa's.
Alyssa isn't just a distant elder sister and bad role model for her younger sisters (who get punished for acting like she did - that's a big parenting failure of Jaehaerys and Alysanne). Her ghost deeply affects Baelon who isn't allowed to stop mourning her for the rest of his life. It's written like a proof of their great love that he couldn't move on, but what if he eventually wanted to? Baelon couldn't find happiness again after Alyssa because that would disappoint Alysanne and he was too dutiful to her. So he was stuck in this loyalty to a dead wife for 16 years (85 AC to 101 AC).
Though shattered by his loss, Baelon took solace in the two strong sons that she had left him, Viserys and Daemon, and never ceased to honor the memory of his sweet lady with the broken nose and mismatched eyes.
I find it interesting that only Baelon's reaction to her death was mentioned. Compared to the other siblings dying, usually we are told Alysanne's and/or Jaehaerys' reaction. They probably mourned her, but didn't see her death at 24 due to complications after childbirth as overly tragic. They probably thought that these things happen and there was nothing they could do. They don't realize that expecting Alyssa to keep having more children was what killed her. She had two sons, but to carry on the family tradition of sibling marriages, they needed her to have a daughter. Baelon wanted a girl, a sisterwife for his son, to continue the cycle in the next generation.
Gyldayn's description of Baelon's reaction to Alyssa's death seems overly sugary. He's trying to make their relationship look as romantic as possible, but calling her "sweet lady with the broken nose and mismatched eyes" ruins the effect. In what way Alyssa was ever sweet to anyone? Calling attention to her broken nose and mismatched eyes is rather weird, as they are physical imperfections. It's causing the whiplash, a dissonance between what was told and shown. How much of this statement by Gyldayn is even true?
Conclusions
Alyssa Targaryen is a complex character beyond being a wife and mother. She's distant from most of her siblings but has a significant influence and impact on their lives. The only one she's close to is Baelon and she tries to compete with him and Aemon. She bullied Vaegon, furiously rejected Maegelle, scared Daella and set a bad example of sexual behavior to Saera and Viserra. What's more, Alyssa's character isn't good or nice or even responsible. She's cruel, bawdy and competitive, avoids company of other girls and her sisters, because she thinks she's different (better) than them. She dismisses the danger of childbirth and unnecessarily risks her newborn sons when she takes them dragonriding.
Alyssa is deeply indoctrinated by her parents to believe in Targaryen supremacy ideology and accepts her role as a sisterwife and childbearer. She follows the rules set by them and is rewarded and praised for it. Despite that, she's likely depressed and coping by having sex or dragonriding. She exhibits signs of having a sex addiction, which is likely because her younger sisters and son Daemon also had addictive personalities. Her marriage life consists of having sex for most of the time and only her husband is mentioned to be happy with it. She's not allowed to express and pursue her own goals and the cases of her bullying Vaegon seem to be her lashing out because he rebelled against his parents' plans for his future.
Many existing similaries prove that the Alyssa is the answer to the question: "what if Cersei was a Targaryen?" She also resembles queen Rhaenys in her dynamic with her older brothers.
Alyssa's death isn't seen as tragic, despite her dying at 24 after giving birth to a third son they didn't need. She died young and for unnecessary reason. Her death was in vain as the child didn't live through infancy. The only one who was said to be mourning her was Baelon, who became a martyr of their great, lost love, and a sad widower for the rest of his life to appease Alysanne, who saw his marriage to Alyssa as a mirror to her own marriage with Jaehaerys.
Alyssa is not the one good, unproblematic daughter that Jaehaerys and Alysanne raised. Their bad parenting affected her as well as every single one of her siblings, even Maegelle, whose future was sacrificed so that Alyssa and Baelon could marry.
Jaehaerys and Alysanne weren't good parents to any of their children, including Alyssa. They decided their children's future paths when they were still too young and didn't finish growing, and then expected them to follow those plans. In result, most of the siblings died, either due to obeying their parent's will (Daenerys, Aemon, Alyssa, Maegelle, Daella) or rebelling against it (Viserra, Gael). The 3 remaining ones (Baelon, Vaegon, Saera) didn't die, but endured much suffering and hardship in their lives as an effect of their parents' control over them.
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I worked on this for a week, so I hope it's interesting and at least provides some food for thought. I'm open to questions and more discussion, so you can send asks. I might write more analysis on Jaehaerys and Alysanne's bad parenting method and maybe some other topics related to their reign.
#alyssa targaryen#fire and blood#asoiaf theories#asoiaf meta#maegelle targaryen#vaegon targaryen#baelon the brave#baelon targaryen#king jaehaerys#jaehaerys the conciliator#alysanne targaryen#saera targaryen#viserra targaryen#my meta#my thoughts
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Okay okay okay, so the Vanserra brother's all have a toxic or unhealthy relationship with each other to some extent. It's only natural in the environment they live in, they never learned what a healthy family dynamic looks like, and they have been taught through the means of violence all their lives.
My point is, don't exclude Lucien from this.
The trope where there's one family memeber (aka Lucien) who just happen to be born perfect and was never at all influenced by the violence of his family house hold? Overused, overdone, boring, boooo, DJ play the next track I've heard this one already.
Buuuut, Lucien who is just like the rest of his brothers and purposefully took the time and made the extreme effort to break out of those habits and behaviors and began to heal from them? It adds flavor, it's adds complexity to his character, AND GUESS WHAT IT MAKES IT ANGSTIER.
Lucien as a young adult is at first an aristocratic asshat who is the life of the party, with many friends but really no true friends because he can't let any of them get to close to him. He acts like a typical asshole, and then he meets Jesminda. And no I am not about to say she 'fixed' him, what would have happened, is that he fell in love with her wild spirit, her personality, the way she didn't even bat an eyelash at him.
But Jesminda is never gonna go for him, because of who he is, who he projects himself to be. She tells him the day he learns to let his heart melt is the day she will marry him.
So, Lucien purposefully learns to be a better person, he leaves the behaviors he was taught as a child behind. He starts to heal from Beron's severe neglect and abuse. And when Jesminda notices he is genuinely making a a change, she helps him, they become friends before they become lovers. He opens up to her, and she to him.
And then his heart melts, and they both fall in love naturally.
Beron notices Lucien's change in behavior, has his brothers spy on him. Finds him with Jesminda, puts two and two together. And decides Jesminda is poisoning his son's mind, and has her executed. Under the guise she was trying to convince Lucien to rebel against the High lord.
Lucien is distraught, he runs to Spring. He swears up and down that never again, he is never opening up to another person again. And then he meets Tamlin, who shows him kindness, patience, and allows him space to heal, helps him to slowly get to his feet over many years.
Then once more, Lucien melts again. He finds himself better again, maybe better than before.
Then boom Amarantha. He swears he will hate the human girl that Tamlin is forced to take a bride.
And then he finds she has this wild spirit that almost mirrors who Jesminda was. And the cycle repeats.
Also also also.
I just want a scene where Lucien as a young adult sneaks into one of his brother's room when they're asleep and attempts to smother them.
Like,
Silas (Second eldest brother)- *Snoring* *Feels something on his face* "Wha- WHAT-"
Lucien- *Actively smothering him with a pillow* "Shhhhhhh it'll be over soon, shhhhhhhhhhhh."
Or Lucien holding a knife in a kitchen alone with Eris and just thinking 'It'd be soooo easy...'
STOP MAKING LUCIEN THE OUTLIER
HE WAS JUST AS CRAZY AS THE REST OF EM
#lucien who is naturally kind and perfect? boring im sick of it#lucien who is purposefully kind not because it's what he's naturally drawn to but because its the person he *wants* to be? i love it#lucien vanserra#pro lucien vanserra#jesminda acotar#acotar headcanons#acotar#tamlin
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Imagine reader giving birth to twins boys
they become 14YO, and they are famous in the clan as troublemakers and Neteyam and reader have to deal with them ..
Ah isn’t that CUTE!!!
THIS IS SUCH A CUTESIE IDEA !!
-no warnings, just some fluff, family dynamics & sweet Dad(dy)!Neteyam (also mentions of bullying + fights if that counts??)
Loud caterwauling blasted throughout the camp, reaching you and Neteyam from within your family-hut. You glanced at your mate, resisting the incredible urge to roll your eyes, there were only two possible candidates for the source of that noise.
“Pshh, I’ll go sort it out, again.” Neteyam sighed, chucking his hands up in defeat. He quickly rose from his spot next to you and hightailed it to the awaiting ‘crime’ scene. For the past few weeks, your twin 14 year-old sons had been causing fights consistently amongst the clan’s young trainees.
You crouched for a moment, subconsciously counting down the moments before your lover’s deep, authoritative voice boomed over the ruckus outside. “BOYS, GET OVER HERE!!” The scolding your two son’s were now receiving increased in volume as Neteyam dragged them both by the neck, back into your hut.
“Ma ‘Teyam-” he cut you off swiftly “How many times do I have to repeat myself to you two?? You can’t just go around fighting people!” Neteyam bellowed, his tail thrashing angrily behind him.
“Sorry, Sir. It was my fault.” Tsyalu, the youngest twin, piped up bashfully. He tried hard to avoid his fathers menacing gaze. “That’s bullsh- ugf’ come on bro, you and I both know Rahaylo deserved it!” The eldest, Myerìn, blurted without shame, barely managing to dodge using ‘foul language’ infront of both his parents.
“Enough, I don’t care wether it was ‘deserved’. Tsy, you have to stop taking the heat for this skxawng! And YOU-” Neteyam gestured to a smirking Myerìn “-need to quit causing trouble, you read me??” Both boys nodded silently before stalking off to different parts of the hut.
You had observed the scolding, originally aiming to hold back a chuckle of amusement, until something in Tsy’s gaze and the way he spoke left you irked. You sat quietly beside him, assisting in preparing the fruits for dinner. Thankfully neither him nor his brother had been injured in the skirmish, you noted.
“What is the matter, sweet child?” You cooed, stroking the side of his cheek as slight tears swelled in his defeated eyes. “It’s nothing, mama..” the boy assured you, trying to hide his face. “Don’t be silly Tsyalu, you can tell me what’s wrong.” You encouraged, faintly aware of your husband’s ears flicking in interest at your conversation, as he watched from his place by the fire-pit.
“Well, we only keep fighting-” he broke off in a quiet sob “-be-because Rahaylo has been bullying me..” Both you and Neteyam fell stock-still at his words, feeling an onslaught of guilt overcome you. “Yea, and Dad told us to stick up for ourselves, so we did.” Myerìn informed, rather nonchalantly. Neteyam looked almost shell-shocked, having realised the poor communication that led to all this.
He moved closer to where you and both your sons were now crouched, reaching down to rest a hand on each boy’s shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sorry, boy. I had no idea.. why didn’t you say anything about this though? Violence is not a good way to solve these issues.” Neteyam offered, sounding solemn. “I- we didn’t want you to think we are weak, we thought you’d be proud of us, because we are brave like you.”
“Oh, Tsy..” you whispered, feeling ashamed that your children ever had to feel that way. “I am proud of you, both of you. So is your mother.. we just don’t want to see you both fighting all the time.” Your mate assured them, providing both with a warm embrace. “It is okay to come to us when somebody causes you trouble, we will help you, I promise.” He continued, allowing you to curl up at his side, joining the family hug. They both hummed in understanding.
“We are pretty brave though, right Dad?” Tsyalu whispered. “Just like you?” Myerìn added, hopefully. “Of course you are! You’re the bravest little warriors this clan has ever seen.” You and Neteyam chirped, nuzzling both boy’s foreheads affectionately. The twins smiled contentedly, feeling relieved as they relished within their father’s hard-earned approval.
“Sooo, who won?” Neteyam mused, smirking at his sons pridefully. “Neteyam!” You chided, smacking the back of his head playfully.
“Oel ngati kameie, my sons.”
Sorry this is a little short, I hope it lives up to what you had in mind! 🤍
Neteyam be getting some insane flashbacks 😭
#neteyam sully#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#avatar#atwow#neteyam#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#atwow fanfiction#avatar2#neteyam x you#dad!neteyam#neteyam x reader
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Next up is the fantastic @clockwork-ashes!
🧡 She's written some fantastic general fic about Eris and his family and we're SO here for it! The Vanserra family dynamics are crucial to Eris's character and @clockwork-ashes is able to capture those important important family moments so effortlessly. There's not a lot of gen Eris fic out there so all of these pieces are truly a treasure!
🧡 It was SO tough to pick out which fic to start with, but we suggest Son of Autumn! The angst is perfection!! Read the rest of her work here.
🧡 Read more to hear from Ash!
What inspired you to start creating content about Eris? And especially about him and his mother?
I wanted to start writing about Eris right after I finished ACOSF and we got to see a small glimpse into his life. I found him so interesting and I wished we had gotten more of his character. I really do think I was inspired to create content about Eris, though, because so many talented fic writers were creating stories about Eris that I LOVED. Eris backstories were my absolute favourites. I wanted to write about Eris and his mother because Helion makes it so clear that she never wanted to marry Beron. Eris is her eldest son, she had him when she was so young with a man she didn’t love. My heart kind of breaks for her, and I really wanted to try and explore the relationship she might have with Eris.
You wrote some stories about Eris and his mother, and Eris and Beron, but how do you interpret the relationship with his brothers?
I think the relationship Eris has with his brothers is probably extremely complex. I am definitely projecting my own personality onto poor Eris, but as an eldest sibling myself, I want him to care about his brothers. Maybe he’s not the best at showing it, but if he cares, that makes his story just a little more tragic (and I do love angst). I also think that Beron would have never allowed his sons to be close or to really bond when they were younger, and considering how cutthroat the Autumn Court is described as in the books, they’re most likely all competing to become the next High Lord. I do secretly hope that Eris has at least one brother that he’s closer to, especially since Lucien and him aren’t on the best of terms. Mostly though, my interpretation is that the Vanserra brothers are always plotting and scheming and arguing with each other.
And since we are already talking about his brothers: Can you give me a name for one of Eris's brothers? And also for one of his dogs?
A name for one of Eris’s brothers that I like is Ronan because it sounds nice with the Vanserra family name added. For one of the dogs, maybe Lykos? I had a neighbour who had a huge shepherd dog with the same name and I kind of imagine the smoke hounds to be a bit similar to that dog.
What do you think would be Eris’ favourite board game? Does chess count as a board game??? Always having to think ahead and using strategy seems like something Eris would be drawn to. For a modern AU, I feel like Eris would like Clue. He’s probably observant enough to win every time 😌
#eris vanserra#acotar#pro eris vanserra#eris acotar#autumn court#high lord eris#eris creator highlights
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Okay, so I've been scouring your blog these past few days, and ughh, it feels so good to find someone who actually seems to understand who Dick is! His eldest daughter complex is something I relate to so much, and was the thing that really drew me in. A lot of people look at the mediation and emotional weight lifting, (and those are huge parts of it, don't get me wrong,) but something else I find very eldest child is the way his own relationship with Bruce has continued to take hits all so Bruce can have better relationships with the others. Like when you're the oldest your parents make so many more mistakes with you. I also can't help but feel like it's got to be so hard as Dick to look at the way Bruce is with Tim/Dami/Cass, and wish that he could have that kind of relationship with his Dad. They want to be jealous of the trust, think he's the golden child, and yet at the same time, he's wishing he had something more resembling the true parent/child relationship the others got. (Idk maybe I'm projecting, but oh lord I go absolutely feral for eldest daughter Dick, it just hurts so good)
og post in reference
Yes! I'm so glad you brought that up!!
In terms of parenting, and why I don't really write about Bruce being a parent to Dick, is because Dick is kinda a guinea pig, as my engineering teacher put it once.
He was the Bruce's first for everything. First friend, first partner, first son - he just took responsibility for all roles. It makes things even worse because Bruce at the time he took in Dick, he had only been Batman for three years. Three. And he was literally drowning under the weight of the mask until he found Dick. There's a reason why Dick is Bruce's is right hand man and that's because Dick's been with him through everything. When Bruce was struggling and almost giving into his obsession, Dick was there to pull him out of it.
He quite literally mothered Bruce through his feelings, asking if everything was okay, what's wrong, watching him constantly and guaging his mood. This is exhausting work because Dick's mind was always on Bruce's mental state, much like a mother worried constantly about her teenage daughter or a father about his son.
That adoption scene where Dick asks Bruce, "why didn't you adopt me?" That's the realization of eldest daughter syndrome brought up.
Up until then, Dick was completely fine with being the caretaker for Bruce and lifting him up. He parented Bruce for so long and so smoothly, neither fully realized how much Dick was doing for him until he left. When Bruce adopts Jason, that's when Dick realizes there's something wrong with their dynamic.
I don't know if at that time Dick really wanted to be adopted or if he felt neglected because that he's wasn't while another was. But one thing he feels isn't jealousy, he's very clear on that, but Dick feels hurt.
Was there something he did wrong that caused Bruce to do that? What he do differently? What could he have done better? These types of questions constantly cloud his brain because he's gotten so used to taken care of his guardian for two decades now that he must feel hurt on some level even if he never expresses. He wouldn't begrudge his siblings because he feels happy Bruce isn't making the same mistakes to them that he did with Dick but at the same time, it's just exhausting for him.
Bruce might have improved but he isn't the best, so now he's busy taking care of both his brothers and sisters and his father. He also has to take care of his friends too.
He has the weight of the world on his shoulders but the worst part for him isn't the actual the weight - it's the realization that he's holding the weight. Because before he could live on in ignorance and bliss that Bruce was always going to be this way, and taking care of him would naturally just be Dick's job. He's so used to it, he's been doing it since he was eight.
But now, he knows what he's doing, he knows he's not supposed to, but he must. Because they rely on him, but also because that's what Bruce made him into. And I think that hurts the most for him.
He'll feel conflicted about it because on one hand, he loves Bruce. He loves him so much, he'll do anything for him. But also what about all those missed opportunities? Could he have been something different? Maybe he could've hung out with the Titans more if he didn't have to deal with bruce constantly demanding his presence. Maybe he could've joined a new class he never thought he would try.
Dick doesn't regret what he did and if he could go back in time, he would do it all over again but...he probably feels melancholic again. To love a parent so much you sacrifice your happiness over and over again so they can be happy while you're forced to grow up early. Dick's personality itself just lends itself to helping others but constantly taking care of your parent?
He's happy but he feels helpless and sad so he stays silent about it all.
It's said that Eldest Daughter Syndrome can make women feel overburdened, stressed out, and constantly responsible for others.
More signs include having a strong sense of responsibility (leading the batfam and hero teams), feeling a need for control (him fighting for his independence against Bruce and fighting to take care of his own teams), carrying the heavy weight of parents' expectations (his entire monologue in Nightwing 1996 about his feelings towards Bruce), perfectionism (Roy grouching about Dick's perfectionist tendencies to Kori in Outsiders and Roy yelling at Batman for it in Batman Plus), struggling with same-age relationships (dating older), and feeling resentment towards family (his outsiders era was him just resenting Bruce in the beginning).
He's been parenting Bruce for so long he was forced to grow up prematurely. I mentioned in my compartmentalization post when Dick's parents have literally just died. And he's forcing himself to act happy because he doesn't want Bruce to feel guilty and upset about not catching their murderer yet. That's not a responsibility a child should have - pretending everything is fine so as not to worry their family. That's the role of a parent. He's taking parenting his own parent because his actual one is incapable of doing so.
But Bruce's greatest fear is that by taking in Dick, he deprived Dick of opportunities to shine. To live in the limelight. And Dick knows everything about Bruce, so he knows Bruce's worst fears. And for this reason, out of the love that he has in his heart, Dick will never tell Bruce if he's hurt him because this is directly connected to his worst fear.
And that hurts. Because vocally releasing anger and sorrow is cathartic but to have it build up silently inside and letting it sink beneath the waves each time is painful.
#dick grayson#nightwing#bruce wayne#batman#eldest daughter syndrome#anon I can't begin to tell you how much I understand#it's exhausting#cl anon asks#thanks for the ask!#anon you inspired me to make a post about this that I'll upload later
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Caramel
(Part Four)
characters: stripper! Yuta x female! wealthy! Y/N genre: chaptered, smut, fluff, angst word count: 3.2k words summary: Y/N has everything in her bitter life, not until she meets a sweet-looking stripper. warnings: matured theme, stripper au!, third person POV, inferiority complex, a hint of misogyny, complicated family dynamics, alcohol consumption, mentions of taken virginity and unsafe semi-public sex, mention of death, romantic Yuta, an attempt on kissing, you might hate Jungwoo but I'll redeem his character soon, cursing, physical assault, robbery taglist: @cherrymotodude @tenjyucat @justsomekpopstuff
Part Three
Y/N breathed heavily, repeatedly rubbing her right shoulder to ease the stiffness of her body. That was such a long meeting, it sucked the soul out of her. “Miss Y/N, your brother is inside.” Her secretary claimed that made her nod although curious. Why is Jungwoo here? What does he need now?
But as she opened the door, she stopped in her tracks to see the older Kim sitting on the couch. “Could you please get something to drink for Doyoung?” She asked the secretary before turning to her brother, asking him what he wanted to drink but he shook his head. “Then can you just get me coffee? Thank you.”
“How many cups of coffee have you had?” Doyoung asked, which surprised her. “Did you even have lunch yet?” She lightly glanced at the clock on her desk. It was past noon and all she had was a cup of coffee for the whole day. “Did you even sleep?”
Maybe she does look awful that Doyoung had to ask that. It has been a hectic week. She had to attend meetings with the investors of the company, even presenting new ideas and strategies for the company. To be honest, she doesn’t even know what day it was. She’s just glad that her secretary is responsible enough to remind her of what she should do during the whole day. “I took care of some of Dad’s workload since he went to Bali.”
Because it’s Junyoung summer vacation, their parents had given the younger one a trip to his favorite beach. They even asked if the three wanted to come but Y/N rejected it because she had to handle some company matters, Doyoung had his stage play performance coming up, and Jungwoo had some scheduled shoots. “Junyoung wanted to stay a bit so I took the liberty of taking some of Dad’s work to ease his worry.”
The guy just nodded, making her purse her lip. He is so quiet, in contrast to Jungwoo’s puppy-like energy. Among the two, even the three, she felt intimidated by Doyoung’s presence. He is the eldest son of their father, the true heir to the company. Although he had repeatedly claimed that he didn’t want to run the company, he still held some power on the board. Something that she doesn’t have, even if she worked hard for it. He’s usually reserved and she’s scared that her actions would all look clumsy in front of the matured Doyoung.
When the secretary came, with her cup of dark coffee, Doyoung asked her to buy Y/N something for lunch. The girl even revolted when he handed the secretary his card. “I know you need to do these things, Y/N. But please, don’t forget to take care of yourself.” She only nodded in answer. “Eat your lunch before attending the board meeting, hmm?” Then he went out of her office, leaving the girl feeling dejected.
Is this a premonition of something? Why is Kim Doyoung attending the board meeting?
Y/N knew something bad would happen. Maybe it was a woman’s instinct. While the male-dominated board was discussing the future of the company, she remained quiet in her seat. They had been arguing about the next company leader since the president wasn’t here and it made her feel smaller.
The moment she graduated with a business degree, she had been dreaming of taking a seat in these board meetings. But as she started working her way to the top, she wanted more. Yearn for more. To be frank, she doesn’t want to be the president. She knew how Doyoung and Jungwoo’s grandfather created this company from the bottom and she didn’t want his hard-earned achievement.
She wanted her own achievement. A company that she worked hard for. Not this.
But now, it was too late to back out from this company. Her stepdad had put great trust in her and she wanted to repay all the kindness he had shown her by working in his esteemed company. But how far does she have to repay that ongoing kindness? How can she create her own company if she’s harboring this feeling of owing things to the family who took her and her mother kindly?
As the older males kept on distributing tasks to the other departments, Doyoung’s eyes were on her. She wanted to disappear from her chair. Are her efforts not enough for this company? Why does she feel smaller and smaller as time passes by?
Doyoung was rubbing his temples as he sat on the couch of her office room, “Why do I have to talk to the investors? You know them and they know you.” Y/N doesn’t know what the older men are planning but she knows Doyoung would benefit from these tasks the most. He obviously needed to be visible as part of the company, especially to those investors, when he inherits the company sooner or later. “And you know very well that if Dad was here, he’d give this task to you in a heartbeat.”
Y/N shook her head, laughing lightly. “Doyoung, I believe in you. You can easily charm those investors.” But the guy only sighed, feeling hopeless already. “I can give you notes.” The guys just stared at her as if she were some lunatic.
“And besides, I think I need this break.”
If there was one thing Y/N desperately needed, she realized, that was to find herself first.
—-----
The last time Y/N got drunk was when she was with Yuta and that feels so many nights ago.
It isn’t bad to flood herself to drink tonight with Jungwoo. But as he picked up his phone, she realized she could not do that. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re in Milan?” She asked, whining. She badly wanted to drink tonight. But she cannot do that unless her brother is here to take her home. It was for a modeling gig, he reasoned out. Even claimed that he could go home now if she wanted but he’d take a few hours to reach her destination which she rejected. She cannot bother her brother like that. Jungwoo even reminded her to watch her drink so she could go back home safely and to call him again.
The feeling of loneliness came. She can call Doyoung but she doubts he’ll come to drink with her. Curse her for not having close friends at her beck and call.
Maybe she won’t be able to drink tonight.
Y/N had already finished half the bottle of cheap beer but she knew she had to wait before she could head home. Well, she could call for a driver. But it would be such a hassle. So she just started picking the almond nuts from the regular peanuts to pass the time. “Y/N?” She looked up to see the man she was just thinking of earlier. Yuta. “Are you alone?” He eyed the bottle of beer and the scattered nuts on the plate.
The girl nodded, “I’m just passing time before going home.” She reasoned out then shook her head, “What are you doing here?” And she wanted to mentally kick herself. This is a public pub. What the heck was that question?
“I’m here with some friends.” He then glanced at the group of guys laughing amongst themselves. “Do you want to join us?”
Y/N profusely shook her head. “I’m leaving in a sec.”
“Did you call for a driver?” But she shook her head, claiming that she would just drive back. “Will you be alright?”
The girl nodded, smiling. “I’m not that drunk, Yuta.” One of his friends called for him and he excused himself, which made her nod.
It feels pathetic. She wanted to get drunk but she could not and now Y/N is just frustrated at herself. When did she become such a lonely woman?
Before she could stand up, someone sat on the vacant chair in front of her and called the older woman serving in the pub. “What are you doing here?” She asked Yuta before eyeing his friends who were looking at him. “What about your friends?”
The guy just smiled, “They can find their way home.” He claimed, taking the menu and asking her if she wanted some fried chicken and grilled squid to go with her beer. Y/N only nodded as he expertly ordered snacks and two bottles of beer. He poured the remaining contents of the beer into her glass as she noted that he was getting her drunk once again. “You’re cute when you’re drunk. And you probably need it.”
“Then will you also drink?”
Yuta shook his head. “I have to drive you home safely.” He then pushed the empty bottle away from her, “You did bring your car, right?” Y/N nodded. To her amusement, he started separating the almond nuts on the plate. “Shouldn’t you just call your brother if you’re drunk and alone instead of driving yourself home?”
Y/N had to hide her smile by drinking beer, “He’s in Italy right now.” Then stopped, looking at him in question. “Wait, how did you know I have a brother?”
He chuckled before sliding the plate of separated nuts to her, “I kinda met him back at your apartment.” Oh, she remembers now. Jungwoo kept on asking about Yuta that morning. “Do you want the almond nuts or the plain nuts?”
“Both.”
“Then why are you separating them earlier? I thought you were allergic or something.” She chuckled at that, claiming that she was just passing time.
The ordered bottles of beer came and Yuta expertly opened the lid with a spoon which amazed the girl. The many talents of this man. “Speaking of which, I haven’t paid you for that night.” He shook his head. “Why not? That’s clearly not a lap dance.”
“Well, I didn’t do anything.” He shrugged, pouring beer into her glass. “There’s no extra service given.”
The girl snorted in disbelief. “I experienced my first orgasm that night, you can’t tell me that’s nothing.”
“Your first?” Then Yuta lightly coughed to hide his amusement, “Please don’t tell me it’s also your first sexual experience.”
She shook her head, “I don’t remember much but I know the first is in a movie theater.” That piqued Yuta’s curiosity. That is a peculiar place to have your virginity taken. “I was young and his mom owned the theater.” The male laughed, that makes sense. “Is it that funny?”
He shook his head, apologizing with a laugh. “And you just let him have sex with you in a movie theater?”
Y/N drank the contents of her glass, “It’s his birthday.” Yuta laughed wholeheartedly. “It’s Valentine's and the only movies playing in the theater are racy ones. What can I do?” The snacks came and Yuta carefully placed the plate of fried chicken and grilled squid in front of her. He even took the knife and fork to remove the squid from the skewer and cut it into bite-sized pieces. How is he so considerate? He obviously knew how to take care of a girl. Maybe he has a girlfriend. A wife? But she isn’t in a position to ask that right?
“Did he even use condoms?” She shook her head as he handed her the fork so she could eat first. “I didn’t know you could be that wild and reckless.” She took a bite of the fried chicken and hummed. That is one of the best fried chickens she ever had. “You're lucky your dad didn’t kill you.”
“Oh, he died even before that happened,” She claimed casually munching on the fried chicken while poking the grilled squid with her fork.
Yuta glanced at her in surprise, “I thought your dad was the president of the company you work at?”
Y/N nodded while chewing her food. “The president is my stepdad.” She supplied. “You know, difficult family dynamics.” He inquired about her brother and she stated that Jungwoo is actually a stepbrother. Yuta just nodded, taking all the information. “This is so good,” She mumbled, pointing at the grilled squid. “I could eat ten of these.”
He laughed before calling the auntie, “I’ll order more.” The bottle of beer was easily forgotten with the meal above the table. Y/N realized that she hadn’t eaten a proper meal, just the lunch that Doyoung bought for her. When she shared it with the male in front of her, he just gave her a stern gaze. “Your job is that hectic?”
Y/N shook her head. Honestly, it isn’t. It’s just that she wanted to do her best and she believes there is no room for failure for someone like her. A struggling woman in a male-dominated world. “There’s just been a lot of meetings lately.”
“Then you must be amazing at your job if you’re part of all those meetings.” A small smile can be seen on her lips. Why does that sound so comforting?
It is surprising to know that she didn’t get that drunk but she’s already feeling better compared to earlier. She’s also full from the meal that Yuta paid for. She even argued with him but his reasons, that it was her full meal and that it was he who disturbed her alone time so he had to pay, were completely convincing. “Did you enjoy the meal?” She nodded, thanking him quietly. “Then it’s all good.”
“But I’m the only one who enjoyed it. I will pay you,” She took her wallet from her bag but he shook his head. “Yuta, you worked hard for that money. I can pay for my own meal.”
The guy took the receipt from the auntie. “And you also worked hard for your money. You even forgot to eat.” She pouted at that. “Besides, a man shouldn’t let the woman pay for a meal.” Y/N only glared at him.
He drove her car back home. Unlike the first time that he did, she was seated in the passenger seat of the car. Y/N remembered the nervousness she felt the first time Yuta had driven her home, he asked her to sleep with him and she agreed in a heartbeat. Now, she wonders if Yuta had the same thought. Or maybe that changed from the horrible experience the first time. She shrugged. That was Yuta’s job, she shouldn’t expect too much from him.
She was then amused when he argued to walk her up to her unit. “You might get lost,” he reasoned out. It was absurd. First, she’s not that drunk. Second, she’s been living here for years. She can even reach her apartment unit if she closes her eyes. But she just lets him do what he wants. He’s pretty argumentative today and she just wants to lay down.
“Do you want to come inside?” That was a tempting question. Yuta badly wants to. But it’s already late and he shouldn’t be inside a woman’s apartment unit this hour. Yet when Y/N turned around to look at him, he felt the self-control in his mind getting smaller. She was leaning by her door, him towering above her. He can easily touch her, easily kiss her. He can give her the pleasure he never gave the first time.
Y/N lightly bit her bottom lip and his self-control was gone in an instant. He wanted to bite that lip, suck that lip until she gasped for air. Slowly, he leaned in. “Can I kiss you?” The girl visibly gulped before nodding ever so slightly.
Yuta slowly leaned in, licking his lips in the process, before the door opened. She could almost fall if not for his quick reflex to hold her by the waist, pulling her closer. “Oh,” someone said by the door, then closed it again slowly. “Sorry.”
The girl gently pushed him before turning to her brother standing by the door. “I thought you were in Milan.” she accused which made the taller guy nod, claiming that he used the family’s jet to come home quickly. Yuta shook his head, that was the richest thing he heard someone say. “Jungwoo, this is Yuta. Yuta, Jungwoo.” She introduced the two and both shook hands.
“Am I disturbing something? I can leave.”
Yuta shook his head. “I’m leaving. It’s late.” The girl turned to him once again, whispering a thank you. He just smiled in response, “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Take care on your way back.”
“You too.” Even Jungwoo looked surprised at the statement. That was a stupid thing to say. “I’ll see you later?”
She nodded, smiling. “Later.”
He turned around after bidding farewell to Jungwoo who was still holding the door. Yuta wanted to kick himself while walking to the elevator. What the hell is wrong with him? Why does he keep acting like a madman in front of her? But wait, this might be the last time they’ll see each other.
He made a sharp turn, surprising the girl and her brother who were still by the door. Yuta walked briskly to where she was, breathing heavily when he stopped. He could easily kiss her, she did let him earlier. But with her brother’s eyes on him, he debated with his mind not to. “Can I borrow your phone?” She looked puzzled but handed him the device. Yuta started typing numbers and then handed the phone to her, “If you want to drink, just message me.” Y/N nodded and he started walking away from her place.
Once he was alone in the elevator, the doors closing in front of him, he breathed a sigh of relief. He’s probably going to see her again, right?
—---
“Ten, can I borrow my phone?” Yuta asked, which made the bartender look at him in surprise. He just checked his phone a minute ago. It is one of the rules in the club that phones are not allowed in VIP rooms, dancers had to surrender their mobile phones to the bartenders.
The dancer stared at his phone as if a message would appear if he would just look at it. “Are you waiting for a call or a message?” the bartender asked while wiping the glasses.
Yuta shook his head, handing the phone back to him. Maybe she wouldn’t message him today. He did tell her to message him if she wanted to drink. It’s only been days, anyway.
Is she busy? Is she that happy that she doesn’t want to drink just yet? Why didn’t he just take her number?
Once again, Yuta shook his head. He shouldn’t get obsessed with this.
Even when heading home, he kept on clutching his phone as if waiting for something. It is already early morning, she probably is still sleeping now right? Since the club isn’t that event-packed tonight, the manager gave him an early leave to go home. It’s still dark outside but he didn’t care. He’s just sleepy, he just wants to rest.
Yuta wasn’t even that far from his rented room when he felt something poking his waist. Someone snatched his phone and then slashed his bag before landing two hard punches on his face. God damn it! He hissed as he saw the blood coming out from his lips. The two hooded guys smirked. “Arigatou, Yuta-kun.” Then they started running as fast as they could, even turning back to laugh at his state.
His eyes widened in surprise. It can’t be.
Part Five
#yuta#yuta nakamoto#nakamoto yuta#yuta smut#yuta nakamoto smut#nakamoto yuta smut#yuta chaptered#nakamoto yuta chaptered#yuta nakamoto chaptered#yuta fluff#yuta nakamoto fluff#nakamoto yuta fluff
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Hey I love your blog!!!💘💘 💘 if you're still taking requests.. could you write about Madara having lots of kids 😅, I once read a headcanon that he would have five kids and I can't get it out of my head 😭😭💘💘💘
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE!! Of course, I'm still taking requests, feel free to send as many as you want!
I'm so happy you're enjoying my little Uchiha spot💕🤗🤗💫
YES MADARA BEING A FATHER IS ONE OF MY FAV THINGS IN THE WORLD
- Madara with 5 children is A REALITY. Internally he tries to resurrect the image of family he had before getting dragged to war as a child, and give his kids a life not tainted by blood and death.
- He decides to have a family once peace is a fact, no other way around it. When he understands his children will not be in danger of being killed as soon as they set foot outside the clan, the time is right.
- 4 boys and 1 girl.
- First pregnancy comes with a son. The eldest remains an only child for about two years, and the Uchiha spoils him for being his first. The boy goes with dad everywhere, attends all the meetings with Hashirama, and they spend a lot of time in the garden looking at the flowers.
- Second pregnancy comes in a pair. The twins destroy family harmony but inaugurate a new dynamic. Madara can't pamper all three of them at the same time, so their uncle Izuna, mostly, takes care of these two. They spend more time with their father's brother than anything else, following him around and even helping him with his practical jokes on Tobirama. When Madara catches them red-handed, he scolds all three of them equally, as if Izuna were his son as well.
- By the fourth, the first three brothers are a few years older, so they help with his upbringing. Madara follows him closely and personally trains him like the rest of his sons. He and his father love to enjoy a cup of tea on rainy afternoons, while the other children play in the mud. This one being much calmer than the rest of his family, the Uchiha finds with his fourth son a connection of peace and harmony. He soon becomes his right-hand man.
- The fifth changes gender and is the first female in the family. She quickly becomes Daddy's princess and gains all of his undivided attention. The fourth child gets jealous, but Uncle Izuna helps to calm the waters, distracting the other siblings while Dad takes it upon himself to shower his newborn with love.
- Soon, all her older siblings are extremely protective of her, with a total of six personal bodyguards if you add dad, her uncle, and the rest of the children. She grows up away from war and fighting, as the princess of the clan, protected by all the men in her life.
A small scene of love, family, and happiness!
Madara accepts the cup of tea his fourth son hands him, filled to the brim with hot liquid. The boy is becoming more and more skilled at preparing the drink, and this makes him deeply proud. They share a relaxed chat while his daughter, at his back, braids his hair, filling it with flowers Uncle Izuna picked for her from his garden.
Outside a deluge is falling, from which the three of them are sheltered inside their home. Madara watches the water fall as the twins fight with Izuna in the rain. The two managed to convince the younger Uchiha to train them personally, and he did not make it easy for them. Under the terrible weather, they move back and forth, soaking wet and giggling as Madara hides his own smile in the hot drink.
His eldest son concentrates in a corner of the room, reading a book written by Madara himself. It recounts the history of the clan, the wars fought, and all the leaders of the clan, all the way back to the founder, Indra. The Uchiha is comforted to know all his offspring have passion and joy, focus, and determination to achieve things. That they will grow up as children, just as they should be, and not surrounded by death and destruction.
Somehow, the image he finds himself part of reminds him of his childhood. Those moments of false peace before his father dragged him and his brothers onto the battlefield, losing three of them along the way. He knows his own siblings would enjoy family life as much as he does today, and that he would watch them play and tease his kids just as Izuna does.
#madara#madara uchiha#uchiha madara#naruto shippuden#naruto imagines#naruto#uchiha clan#izuna#uchiha izuna#izuna uchiha#naruto scenarios#naruto x reader
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Little Touya’s Trauma
I see a lot of takes of Touya being the ‘selfish kid’ and honestly, i think thats very unfair thing to say because he is not like Shouto or even Shigaraki, of course because simply his trauma is different. Before i start, i would like to remind that i love Shouto a lot and Shigaraki is one of my faves but this post is gonna be about Touya.
Shouto and Touya have many similarities and even differences with trauma and all but i think the biggest difference between Touya and Shouto is simple;
One of them is eldest and other is the youngest child. This is important because Touya being the oldest and Shouto being the youngest tells a lot about their story because it changes their position and dynamic with their faimly.
The thing with most parents is their first child is their first experiment. Since most of them dont know how to deal with children or raising a kid, they messed up and instead of trying to solve the problem, they avoid the first child and try to not make the same mistake with other one. When i say ‘inexperienced parent’, i am not talking about Endeavour, really because Endeavour never intented to be parent and he always put his own ambitions above well being of his family. I am talking about Rei and even children.
The tragedy of Touya is not just him being burned to death and abandonded, its also his ‘training’ with Endeavour isnt considered as abuse by anyone, unlike Shouto who was crying. Endeavour may’ve not beat Touya but he was forcing Touya to push his limits at some point. (Most likely the reason Endeavour didnt beat Touya because Touya would obey and does anything his father said but Shouto wouldnt).
Endeavour didnt even care what would Touya want, HE decided Touya to be hero because in the end, what Touya wanted didnt matter. Touya didnt cry because he didnt know it was abnormal. Touya didnt cry because he wouldnt want to make his father disappointed. He was used as ‘tool’ but how he could know thats not how most fathers raise their sons? He already internalized the idea of his worth in his family, thats why, he wouldnt mind burning himself.
Rei and his siblings actually cared about Touya but i think i understand why he felt so unseen by them.
Rei knew that Endeavour wanted children only as successor but i think she never thought how this will end up ruin her children or how much it would hurt and ruin them. Which is why she was so protective of Shouto when it comes to training, she even would show Allmight as a good example so that he wouldnt turn out like Endeavour. Also, by focusing on Shout too much, she also (unintentionally) neglected her children. She wouldnt talk with touya about his issues, until Touya was already self destructing. She seems to understand that he is somehow struggling with issues with his father but she doesnt seem to udnerstand why Touya is so ‘obssessed’ with ‘training’ or why he wouldnt stop. Just like other members of Todoroki family.
Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo. Rei seems surprised when Touya had mentalbreakdown. Fuyumi doesnt understand why his brother would go so far to hurt himself for the sake of ‘training’. Natsuo doesnt understand why his brother would cry and talk about this at the middle of night. Though, Natsuo changed his narrative after Touya’s death but Rei and Fuyumi saw as accident. ‘It wasnt Endeavour’s fault, it was Touya’s fault for being stubborn’. But it wasnt accident. It was Endeavour’s fault because that was the only way he gave to Touya.
Compared to this, the way they see Shouto and his ‘training’ is opposite. Fuyumi feels regret for not being able to protect his brother. Natsuo cant forget about the night Shouto’s screams when his face was burnt, he blames himself for not being able to do anything (in novel). Rei feels sorry for Shouto, seeing him as ‘the one who suffered the most’, ‘hero of the family’. Even Endeavour thinks this way. Whole family would avoid even talking about Touya, until he became a villain and made his story public. But even so, his family doesnt seem to understand. The one who needed to be isolated or changed wasnt Shouto or Touya, it was Endeavour. They all have regrets for Touya but it looks like they try to get rid of those regrets with Shouto more than Touya did because it was ‘too late’ for them to do it for Touya. Or maybe, they couldve seen Shouto as victim because of what happenned to Touya.
Curse of being first child of the family. Their thought process is even opposite with Shouto. For Touya, his father was like god like an existence, he would go far to excuse his father’s wrong actions, he did try everything for him but nothing changed and for Shouto, his father was monster but later, he saw him ‘change’. Shouto didnt love Endeavour, he didnt expect anything from him, thats why it was eaiser for him to accept him but that wont the case with Touya because Touya loved Endeavour more than anyone and it wasnt enough for Endeavour to change. I hope Shouto realized this too.
Touya does somehow understand what happenned to him and Shouto was abuse but in his mind, he internalized his abuse, that he is failure too much, he cant see himself or Shouto as victim. Even with Shigaraki, even he understand Afo’s horrible intentions, to him, ‘training a child’ is raising so he wouldnt see it as ‘that weird’ enough to do something.
Yes, Touya wasnt shown as kind as Tenko or even Shigaraki. And he is not like Bakugou either. He wasnt bully and he would repress his negative feelings towards Shouto because he knew it was wrong. Touya is a lot like Deku who would do anything, break himself over and over to prove his worth. And he was crybaby like Deku but at least, Deku had Inko and had a chance to be hero with power and well, Deku didnt have Endeavour as father. (We would learn more about Deku’s feeling worthless, if author allowed his characters to call out Bakugou and adress his bullying.)
Touya would cry easiely, he was drowning in his own feelings. His tears literally turn into fire and burn him to death and he lost his ability to cry. It would make sense for Touya to scared of his own feelings, distancing himself from everyone as trauma response. Similar to Tenko who cant hug anyone after he tried to reach out to his family but end up killing them.
But the difference between them is their father. Koutaro and Endeavour. They both had abusive fathers but Koutaro actually cared about Tenko and his family. Before the tragedy, Tenko was a lot like Shouto but even in better sitution because he wasnt isolated. Tenko had friends, he had cute dog and supportive big sister. Despite the abuse he had at home, his life was almost close to normal. Touya before his tragedy, he never had normal life. He felt distance with his family. He didnt have friends because Endeavour made him believe that Touya was living in different world from other kids. And after his death, he lived in streets, most likely never connecting with others.
Yes, Dabi is the most distant member in league but its not his fault. Members like Shigaraki and Twice show their care more than others because they know what it is like to loose someone they love to death. (Skipping Spinner and Compress but i think their family most likely cared them too). Unlike Toga and Dabi whose families are alive but abandonded anyway. At least Toga know how to fake it because she knows if she behaves well, people will be kinder to her. She wasnt raised like a soldier like Dabi and Shigaraki. She also lives for connections, unlike Dabi who always raised to believe connections are unneeded.
Basically, this boy never develop his social skills, he doesnt have manners, he is rude, he is distant but its not his fault. Its his trauma. He actually cares (in a distant but he cares). He doesnt much show his kindness as others (he showed it when he saved Twice, like hero and when he burnt Toga’s house etc) but that doesnt mean he isnt kind or he is selfish. Mercy, boy literally wants to die.
Bonus; He would also be friends with Tenko and his little group because he is just like Shouto ‘i dont need any friends’ kind of kid, well, Deku reach out to Shouto so Tenko would reach out to Touya too, just like how Shigaraki reach out to Dabi and gain his respect (and his care and loyalty, even he doesnt show it much).
#todoroki touya#dabi#mha meta#todoroki shouto#shimura tenko#shigaraki tomura#toga himiko#endeavour#todoroki rei#todoroki fuyumi#todoroki natsuo#midoriya izuku#bnha analysis#bnha parallels#shimura koutaro#todoroki enji#tw abuse#touya time#i just wanted to talk about touya#curse of being eldest child#bnha 377#bnha 378
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if you’re taking requests, would you write a mainly angsty ominis x mc fic about him opening up to the mc about his family bc he’s now at that level of trust with them? not only is your writing amazing but i find your own headcanons about his family really interesting, and it would be really cool to hear about them in more detail if you’d be up for it :D
Thank you for the request!! I decided to do a bit of a headcanon at the beginning (i've never done that before hehe) and then a fic at the bottom! I hope you enjoy and it was what you were looking for! I enjoyed thinking about his family. Especially since you're not given much info about them - so I had fun envisioning what his family dynamic might have been like.
I wanna shoutout my wonderful ladies in the discord I'm in (Fanfic Friends made by @roohuh). @freesiriusblack came up with the banger idea about Ominis being wary of sleeping in his bed because his family would be able to find him there.
I love bouncing ideas with y'all and there was a lot of great ideas being throw around.
Read my other Ominis Fics Here
Ominis learned from an early age to control/suppress his emotions. Rather it be his siblings teasing him to get a reaction out of him - or his parents making remarks at his ‘emotional’ state.
So he found it best to keep his emotions in check as to not have another form of control over him. If they can control his emotions, then they can control him. Despite his aloofness, I think he does feel very deeply about things. He’s just learned to not show any interest in things, or to react in general.
There wasn’t a lot of laughter in the household unless it came at the expense of someone else. Laughter (and other loud obnoxious noises) was overall banned by their father as being ‘too disruptive’.
Ominis deals with pain terrifyingly well. Any discomfort or agony he’s in, he refuses to show it. He’ll grind his teeth and not make a single sound. He’s learned that the pain he’s in is another form of ridicule to be used against him.
Ominis does not cry. Crying is a form of weakness, and he cannot show that. If he does cry, it is silent and it’s when he’s sure he’s alone.
So when he does cry in front of someone, it’s an absolute sign he trusts them. He’s being vulnerable and he finds that extremely difficult to do. Always worried that his vulnerability will be used against him.
Ominis does not like sleeping in his bed when he’s at home. He’s in a state of vulnerability and anyone can approach/surprise him while he’s asleep. A big reason, he doesn’t want his wand stolen from him - his one piece of control and self-reliance. Once he was out of the Gaunt Estate, he had a hard time adjusting to not waking up every so often to check if he was safe or not - something he still struggles with.
On one occasion, Marvolo snuck into his room one night, and woke Ominis by pressing his wand under his chin. Marvolo liked the terror in Ominis’ eyes. After that, Ominis never wanted to be that scared again.
Growing up, Ominis learned to fight back in his own way - mainly snark. Using his wits and sharp words, he’s won many battles against his siblings this way. While he dislikes using magic against his family, he will if he has to. He’s not against defending himself, which is why he’s an excellent duelist.
Marvolo is the prized eldest son, which Ominis used to be jealous of - mainly the love and attention Marvolo received. Over time, Ominis has accepted he doesn’t have a true place within the Gaunt family, save with his Aunt Noctua. A fact which bothers him more than he’d like to admit. He doesn’t have a ‘true home’ nor a ‘true family’ like everyone else.
As for Ominis and Marvolo interacting, it’s a tense relationship. Ominis is never really sure what mood Marvolo may be in as Marvolo is quite temperamental and quick to anger - lashing out however he pleases. Rather it be cruel insults, dangerous spells, or using his fists - Marvolo is a wild card and Ominis tries to always be ready.
Marvolo is the reason Ominis is an excellent duelist. Ominis had to learn the hard way (through many burns, cuts, and straight humiliation) how to anticipate what the other duelist will do - and how to effectively counter. It soon got to the point that Marvolo lost interest in trying to fight Ominis once Ominis started putting up an actual fight.
Ominis has a rather distant relationship with his father. His father taught him (or had others teach him) the ways of properness and being a gentleman - out of necessity to hold up the Gaunt family name. His father doesn’t view Ominis as a ‘true’ son, but more as a strategic piece to use against the other families. AKA potential status upgrade if Ominis catches the eye of a potential Pure-blood wife.
His father is the ‘Stoic, Aggressive, Stubborn’ Father archetype. He wants Ominis to be able to uphold the Gaunt name - he desires Ominis to be a ‘true’ man. Since Ominis is perceived as ‘weak’ in his father’s eyes, his father viewed Ominis as a lost cause - something not worthy of any effort to try to mold. It wasn’t until Ominis became more independent with his wand did his father take more interest in him.
His father was unreasonably strict with Ominis - especially as a child. Any outbursts, whether it be crying, laughing, or any form of raised voice, would be met with a cruel punishment. Ominis was to be seen and not heard - a phrase Ominis heard many times from his father.
“You need to learn to stand up for yourself.” , “I’m not going to coddle you like your mother does.” , “Real men don’t cry.” , “I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to make you into a man worthy of the Gaunt name.” , “I’m not interested in your excuses, I want results.” , I don’t care if you like it or not, you’re going to do it.”
His mother on the other hand, Ominis is far closer with. Not to say they’re extremely close. His mother is what you’d call a Devouring Mother archetype - she loves selfishly not selflessly. She’s a world-class manipulator. She wanted Ominis to rely solely on her, due to his aliment, but once Ominis started to become more independent - especially with his wand - she started to become more manipulative.
“Do you not love me?”, “You’re nothing without me.”, “I’m the only one who truly loves you.”, “I’m trying to protect you.”, “You’ll never find someone who actually cares about you as much as I do.”, “You’ll never make it on your own without me. You need me.” , “I only want what’s best for you.”
She has no shame in trying to guilt Ominis into doing what she wants. Ominis, having been removed from her influence for a long time now, realizes his mother manipulates him. It’s a hard truth for him to admit, and he doesn’t want to acknowledge it half the time. Ominis, deep down, clings to the notion that his mother does love him - in her own twisted way.
As promised, fic below!
Warnings: mentions of child abuse??? i guess um nightmares, angst and comfort
Word Count: ~2,300 words
Sweat clings to his brow, a heavy breath escaping his lips. He listens intently, and he’s met with the soft snores of his dorm mates along with the humming boiler. His hands slowly release the tight grip on his sheets. He’s at Hogwarts, he thinks to himself as he sits up. Running his hands over his face and through his hair, he shifts to the side of his bed. He slips on his thicker winter robe and shoes, grabs his wand, and leaves.
He shoves the wooden door open and steps outside. The chilled air greets him and his hot, clammy skin. He stands there for a moment, breathing in the crisp night, before continuing his walk. He’s not sure where he’s going - he doesn’t rightly care. He just wants to stop thinking. He wants to silence Marvolo’s voice taunting him, and his own cries replying back. Hatred and frustration claws at the back of his throat at how pathetic and helpless he is to Marvolo’s torment. It’s been years, yet he’s still trapped in that wardrobe - being shaken and rattled.
The damp, mossy scent of the Black Lake catches his attention, and he waves his wand around to gather his bearings. He finds himself at the shore of the lake, his boots sinking into the rocky sand and water sprays onto his face from the breeze. With the gentle waves crashing to shore, he sits down on the beach. The sweat of his nightmare cools, leaving behind an unsettling chill. He drags his knees up to his chest with a heavy breath.
“Ominis?”
He jolts, whipping his head over to the sound of her voice. She’s walking towards him, her steps slow as if to not scare him away.
“What are you doing here?” he questions sharply. “It’s way past curfew, and you should be getting rest.”
Her laugh is gentle, warm, and it eases him for a moment. She takes a seat next to him, brushing her arm against his.
“And what about you? Do you not need rest?” she counters, her voice laced with a smirk.
His brows pull together, pulling his legs more into his chest.
“I’m fine. I… couldn’t sleep.”
He turns his face away from her, afraid she would see too much. She shifts towards him, sneaking her hand into his arm to wrap herself around him. His hand seeks hers without a second thought, their fingers intertwining. With her warm body against his, the chill of the night doesn’t feel so oppressive. The rolling waves alleviates the heavy silence between them.
“It’s a beautiful night,” she finally comments. “No clouds, just the moon and stars. The lake looks so peaceful.”
He closes his eyes, finding it hard to picture any sort of peace in his current state.
“How did you find me?”
His question hangs in the air while her thumb strokes over the top of his hand.
“You had another nightmare,” she states. “I… was worried.”
“It was just a silly dream,” he dismisses, shaking his head slightly. “Nothing to concern yourself with.”
“Ominis-,”
“I’m fine,” he snaps, directing a heated gaze towards her. “Go back to bed. I’ll be back to the castle soon.”
Despite his sharp words, he doesn’t loosen his hold on her hand. He expects her to pull away, leave him be, but instead she lays her head on his shoulder. A heavy exhale escapes his lips and he lays his head on hers.
“You can talk to me, sweetheart,” she whispers so quietly, her words nearly drift away with the receding tide.
“It’s nothing,” he murmurs, lifting his head off of hers.
He can feel her gaze upon him, looking up at him with concern.
“Do you not trust me?” she asks, her voice tinged with hurt.
He scowls at her. “What kind of question is that?” he hisses. “Of course I trust you.”
She strokes his cheek, softening his scowl, and he sighs into her touch.
“Then, why are you hiding this from me?”
Her tone is borderline pleading, and he can’t stand how hurt she sounds. His jaw clenches, grinding his teeth together, while he holds her hand tighter.
She continues in a gentle voice, “I didn’t want to tell you what happened at the Repository. It was a horrible, frightening experience, and I didn’t want to burden you with it. But, you were rather insistent on me telling you. And I’m glad I did. So, here I am, insisting you tell me what weighs your heart so.”
He doesn’t say anything. She squeezes his hand with a grimace.
“Please, Ominis,” she pleads, “tell me what’s going on. Don’t shut me out. Whatever it is, I want to help. I want to listen. Your nightmares have been getting worse.”
He frowns, “You’ve… known about the nightmares?”
She lays her head against his shoulder, nodding.
“Yes. For some time now. I was hoping you would talk to me about them, but you’re rather determined to pretend nothing is wrong,” she reaches her hand up to stroke his cheek, causing him to melt into her touch.
She turns her body towards his. “You won’t burden me, if that’s what you fear. You don’t have to face your demons alone, Ominis,” she says softly. “Let me be there for you, just as you have been there for me.”
He chews the inside of his mouth, flooding his tongue with a sharp copper taste. As much as he didn’t want to open up about this, hearing her upset is far worse. He sucks in a deep breath.
“They’re… about my family,” he admits in a quiet voice. He shakes his head with a grimace, “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“How about the nightmare tonight? What happened?”
He turns his face towards the cool mist of the lake, his breathing already starting to pick up.
“It was… about the time Marvolo tricked me and locked me in a wardrobe. He told me that we could play a game of hide and seek together - and he would help me find a spot to hide,” he lets out a bitter laugh which contorts his face into a cruel expression. “Once I was inside, he started to-, he-,” Ominis’ hold on her hand tightens as he struggles to compose himself. She waits for him, rubbing the top of his hand like a soothing balm.
He shudders, “He locked me inside, and he started to shake the wardrobe. Levitating it and making it spin and flip around. I had no idea where I was, what was going on. And I cried and begged to be let out, but he only laughed. He just kept laughing. Then once he grew bored, he left me in there. It wasn’t until a house elf found me hours later before I was set free.”
She’s not sure what to say. Squeezing his hand, she kisses his cheek then rests her forehead against his temple.
“Did that happen often? Marvolo tricking you?” she asks.
He nods, “In my younger years, yes. He was supposed to be my brother - someone I could trust. And he had no qualms in using that against me.”
She grimaces, “Did your parents ever intervene?”
He snorts with another bitter chuckle, “Intervene? No. Marvolo was teaching me a lesson - toughening me up. Making a man of me, as to not be some sobbing feeble weakling. No, Marvolo could treat me as he pleased. In fact, I think they actively encouraged it,” he shuts his eyes with a tense sigh.
“I remember the first time I fought back. Really fought back,” a proud smirk tugs on his lips. “He wanted to ‘duel’, and his spells would always come at me so fast. Then, I noticed something. There would be a pause when he went to cast certain spells - and he actually had a set pattern. During that pause, I managed to land a spell right into his chest. I could hear him stumble back from me in surprise. And for the first time in my life I felt… powerful. Best of all, Marvolo was weary of me after that.”
“If he could see you now, I doubt he’d be able to muster the courage to fight you at all,” she smiles, making him grin for a moment. His grimace returns and he turns his face towards his lap. She remains silent, quietly caressing his hand while he gathers his thoughts.
“My parents are… not kind people,” he begins in a quiet voice. “I told you of their ‘pastime’ with muggles. I still can’t comprehend being so cruel to someone - a complete stranger. But my mother, she wasn’t always unkind to me.”
A soft smile plays on his lips as he says, “She used to let me sit on her lap as she read to me - mainly over our ‘great’ family history. She’d hold my hand and take me through the corridors, telling me all about the portraits of our ancestors. One time, she gave me a chocolate pastry before bed - which Marvolo found out about the next day and punished me for it.”
“She sounds like she cares about you,” she says.
Ominis’ features fall into a more neutral expression, “Perhaps. In her own way. Once I got my wand, and I didn’t need her to help guide me, she changed. She’d cry anytime I didn’t want to hold her hand, or I wanted to read on my own. She nearly broke my wand in half one time, if Father hadn’t walked in.”
“She nearly broke your wand? Why-,” she stops herself with a shake of her head. “Your father actually stopped her?”
He nods, “Only because I had more worth in his eyes once I had my wand. I wasn’t some burden to him - not completely anyways. He wouldn’t talk to me often, unless necessary. For someone I lived with for nearly all my life, I barely know the man.”
“And he’ll never see how great of a man you are.”
Ominis turns towards her with a soft gaze, “Do you mean that?”
She kisses his cheek with a nod, “I do. You’re amazing, Ominis. Despite them trying to break you, you remained strong. You’re a kind, loving man. It’s something they’ll never be able to take away from you.”
He closes his eyes with a heavy breath - pressing his forehead to hers.
“I owe that to my Aunt Noctua. She was my light in those dark times,” he admits. “She showed me the world wasn’t always so cruel, nor unkind. She gave me hope that once I left that place, I could be whoever I wanted to be. That… people would… love me for me.”
His voice cracks and he squeezes his eyes harder together. He feels a tear trickle down his cheek, and she gently wipes it away with her thumb.
“My sweet, Ominis,” she whispers. “You’ve been through so much. But, you don’t have to face it alone anymore. I love you. I love you so much.”
Her tender touch and lips on his cheek - break him. Tears fall, despite him trying to keep them at bay. She doesn’t realize he’s crying until she feels a damp saltiness on her lips. Guiding him, he nuzzles into her neck as she holds him in a tight, loving embrace.
“It’s okay. I’m right here,” she strokes the back of his head.
He crumbles in her arms, letting himself cry silent tears for all the pain he’s kept in his heart. He weeps for the child he once was, who yearned to be loved and held like this. Her presence, her embrace, is warm and comforting - combating the darkness which weighs him.
She holds him, feeling her neck dampen while his fingers clutch onto her robes. There’s a rage in the back of her mind. She would like nothing more than to storm right up to that Estate and rip it apart - piece by piece. The more barbarous side of her would do the same to his family. Make them cry in agony, beg for mercy - a grace which she would never grant.
How could they ever be so cruel to her sweet, kind, loving Ominis? She hates they made him so aloof, and closed off from the world. Shattering his trust, again and again and again. Twisting the heart of someone who loves so deeply.
Instead of focusing on the injustice done unto him, she tries to think of only him. He survived. He made it out of their clutches with his heart. He could’ve been just like them. She buries her nose into his messy hair, inhaling his woodsy scent.
His hold on her loosens as his tears begin to calm. He feels lighter, while his eyes are heavy - begging for sleep. But, the idea of having to leave her warm embrace frightens him.
“Can we… stay here?” he asks, his voice small and vulnerable.
She smiles, lowering them onto the sandy beach, then pressing herself into his chest. He wraps her in his arms, letting her warmth wash over him. In the embrace of night, with her by his side, nestled in his arms and tucked under his chin, he feels safe, protected.
“Thank you,” he whispers. “For being with me. For finding me. For listening to me. You… I love you.”
She kisses his neck with a soft hum, “And thank you, for letting me in. For loving me. I never want to let you go, Ominis. I love you.”
He holds her tighter against him, determined to make them one. Resting his head on top of hers, he listens to the gentle waves rolling to shore and to the soft breaths against his neck. The stars twinkle above them, casting a gentle glow upon their entwined bodies.
In that moment, surrounded by the soothing sounds of the lake and the warmth of her love, Ominis finally feels a sense of belonging, a sense of home.
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AN: Sorry my Marvolo simps, but I don't think he's that nice of a guy especially to his brother Ominis. I think Marvolo, growing up, was doing all these things as 'brotherly love'.
Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed <3 Feedback always welcomed :)
#ominis gaunt#ominis x reader#hogwarts legacy#fanfic#fanfiction#hogwarts legacy fanfic#ominis gaunt x mc#ominis gaunt x reader#creative writing#ominis x mc#ominis x you#legilimency#ominis x oc#comfort#ominis gaunt x you#slight angst#magic bonds#hurt and comfort#light angst#fluff#kissing#cuddling & snuggling#cuddles#nightmares#taking care of ominis#headcanon#ominis headcanon#ominis gaunt fluff#ominis gaunt angst#hogwarts legacy ominis
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what's your favorite thing about your favorite character?
Crazy ask tbh!! Cause this gives me free rein to talk about any favorite character in anything and that's so many options!!!
(Also I've been sat here staring at this question in my inbox for a week cause I was like, who do I even choose??? lol)
After a long and hard deliberation I said, Fuck it! Might as well pick the characters that I have been rotating in my head for the past few months. Sorry I'm gonna be a little One Piece lover for a minute because legit the storylines are SO good and I love SO many of the characters!
I'm gonna give love to the ASL brothers because I love each and every one of them so much (even though I haven't even met Sabo, but I know about him, so it's chill lol)
One Piece spoilers below if you care, also I anticipate this getting absurdly long lmao
Like, I am actually sorry how long this got, cause I went off on some tangents. But if you give me a platform to talk about One Piece I am Going to TALK about One Piece (and, I think, get off prompt way too often.) That being said, I am still REALLY sorry about the WALL of text. You don't have to - nor should you - read this whole thing. orz
Ah, yes. The Age, Sex, Location brothers (lmao I feel like this joke shows my age cause I would make this joke, but TJ would make the joke as: the Am.erican Sign Language Brothers.)
This is definitely more than you asked for because you asked what is your favorite thing about your favorite character, but I'm doing things about characters, so... sorry lol!
Sibling characters are so important to me in general, and any group of siblings are usually gonna be some of my favorites (e.g. Sand Siblings from Naruto.) I have two older siblings and one younger so that might contribute to why, but I usually love the dynamics. And I love these guys all separately and as a package deal.
Ace- TBH what's not to love about Ace? He is the epitome of cool! Everybody wants to be him (or maybe I'm just projecting, but GOD he's so cool!) He is Literally The Cool Older Brother, and I love that for him. He also sort of has the cowboy look too, so that gives him bonus points lol!
Something I really love about Ace is that he loves so fiercely and it's obvious in everything he does. It's the way he's protective over Luffy and makes sure he gives his baby brother some way to find him again if he ever needs. But it's also the way he freaks out when he realizes said baby brother comes to rescue him when he's in a dire situation. He definitely has eldest child vibes in that regard; giving help but not accepting help. It feels like a very eldest sibling thing to do. It's also the way he adamantly refuses to call his biological father his dad, and insists that his father is Whitebeard because he was the man who took him in and cared for him as his son. He literally states it to the world. He loves Whitebeard and won't let anybody tell him that he's not his father.
He is literally all about his family. And that feels stupid to say cause this whole show is about found/ forged families, but Ace wears his heart on his sleeve and isn't afraid to show just how much he loves his family, not only in his actions and words, but also in the things he wears. He's so sentimental that he keeps all of his most precious people with him in some sort of memento. (Some of these are more canonical than others, but most of them you can read a certain way and it makes sense, so bear with me).
The most obvious (and canon) is his back tattoo which is Whitebeard's symbol. He literally calls it his pride and displays it as such. That's his father, and he is happy to show it off. (I don't know if these next few are canonically correct, but the vast majority of fans agree on their symbolism connecting to his other family members.) The red beads around his hat and necklace are the same as the ones his foster mom, Dadan, wears, so they're likely a memento to remember her by. The next one I think has a lot of legitimacy to it, because for some reason I think some people still don't believe it, but the X'd out S in his arm tattoo ASCE is to remember Sabo by. (Textual evidence for this is the "what if" cover story Oda drew where the brothers were never separated and in that scenario Ace's arm tattoo it literally just written as ACE.) The X through the S I think has a double meaning because when he got it Sabo was presumed dead so it could be crossed out because his younger brother was gone, but also the X through the S could be because that was Sabo's mark. Like, it was his jolly roger when he set out to sea. Some people also like to say the little buttons on Ace's hat resemble a goggle-like appearance to mimic Sabo's goggles on his top hat, which I think is cute, but maybe not as legitimate lol. That just leaves Luffy. I'm not gonna lie, there's not a lot on his design that points specifically to Luffy, probably because he was confident he'd see him around. But if we wanna stretch we could say maybe his hat symbolizes Luffy (and probably Sabo too). He got a hat so he could join his little brothers' cool hat club lmao!!
The Symbolism on this boy goes WILD!!! He LITERALLY wears his heart on his sleeve, or back, or around his neck, or his arm, or his head lol!
I also love that he's also susceptible to sibling dumbassery. I'm talking about that shit where you're polite and respectable towards peers and shit, but the moment you're around your siblings you revert to little gremlin mode. Cause Ace met all the Strawhats and was like "Hello, yes, nice to meet you. I am Luffy's respectable older brother, thank you so much for taking care of him all this time, I know he's a lot to handle :)" But when he was alone with Luffy literally 5 minutes ago he was like "What's up fucker? Wanna arm wrestle you little bitch baby?" It's hilarious. I love it.
Also his character design is hot! What can I say? lol! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sabo- I am actually insane about Sabo and it makes no sense cause I haven't even met the dude yet! Like, I'm looking for some excuse to change my icon to him but it's going to be like at least 3 whole arcs until I meet him so idk lol (that probably won't stop me lmao! Sanji's days are numbered lol)
So I haven't technically met Sabo yet, but I do know a bit about him (because my brain decided to snatch him up into my "3 more of these little blonde bitches club [consists of Sanji, Sabo, and Rosinante/Corazon (WHOM I ALSO HAVEN'T MET BUT I LOVE HIM)]" and now I know more about him than I did like 4 months ago) so I'll talk about what I do know.
Erm, it's him being the middle child (as a middle child myself I heavily fuck with middle children characters.) As a kid he looks mostly well-adjusted and like, the peacekeeper of the three, but as a young adult he looks literally so unhinged, and that's the middle child experience babeeeyyyyyyyyy!!! (I'm only half kidding lol)
I also headcannon him as aroace. It's so easy to do that with any of Oda's characters tbh because he doesn't really focus on romance (which I'm thrilled about, because it means he's most likely not gonna do that thing that every mangaka does that everyone fucking hates which is to pair off characters who have no chemistry together or never interacted in canon, but they get married in the end just because he needs everyone to end up with someone and have a family in order to continue the story, but with the kids this time! I am literally looking at Naruto. Cause when the fuck did Choji and Karui ever interact? Literally never. Also, God. Don't EVEN get me started with Sasuke and Sakura.) ANYWAY!!!!! The way Oda writes his story makes it easy to headcannon characters as aroace, and I do with Sabo at least cause I'm also aroace and he's one of my favies, so.... rejoice! Aroace be upon ye! :) Idk, he just gives the vibe :) Also it's funny to make the joke that they're all "Ace."
He's also got that steampunk drip. Love that for him. Go whiteboy, go! Not only does he dress like he's smart, but I'm almost CERTAIN he IS the smartest of the three brothers. I mean like, he probably has similar qualities about him that he shares with Ace and Luffy in terms of general dumbassery, but he definitely gives the vibe that he Knows what the fuck he's doing. Probably helps that I'm pretty sure he was the only one of the three that received a proper education lol. But I love the potential for the duality of him ping-ponging between being really smart and doing something really dumb and reckless.
I think Sabo was the softer of the older brothers. Like, Ace wanted to check in on Luffy and make sure he was okay and everything, but also he and Luffy seemed rougher towards each other (literally arm wrestling upon first meeting again after 3 years of not seeing each other.) Sabo gives the vibe that instead of armwrestling upon seeing each other, he would instead give hugs. I LOVE soft interactions with siblings just as much as I love interactions with them roasting the shit out of each other, and I think Sabo brings the softness needed. I mean, had he and Ace interacted in their early 20s I think there would definitely be sibling ribbing, but I guess I'll never know that for sure :) :) :) I'd've loved to see it though! :) :) :)
But at least Sabo can be soft and baby the baby brother. And you know what? Luffy deserves hugs! And I'm sure Sabo does too! And hell! Throw Ace in there too! He also deserves hugs!
He's also part of the Revolutionary Army, that much I know for sure, so he is absolutely out there doing some much needed shit (Luffy also does liberation every now and then, but he doesn't exactly go out of his way to do it like the R.A. does, he more happens upon it as he goes lol) And we've already met some cool-ass R.A. members (IVA!!!), so he's in good company. Also - side tangent - but Luffy adopted him as his brother, Garp adopted him as his grandson, and Dragon essentially adopted him as a son, so all I'm sayin' is..... Monkey D. Sabo?????? (eyes emoji) [I'm on desktop so I can't do emojis]
Anyway! Can't wait to meet Sabo! Can't wait to see him be absolutely baller!! Can't wait for him to see Luffy again!!! Can't wait to find more reasons to love him than the bare minimum I know about him!!!!
Luffy- Luffy is literally The best MC of any shōnen anime ever and nothing can change my mind about that. I have watched nearly 500 episodes of One Piece and Luffy is one of my top favorite characters, and that says something cause the MC's are usually never even close to my top favorites. Ever.
Like, I watched all 720 episodes of Naruto, and Team 7 (Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura) are some of my least favorite guys in the show, I'm not gonna lie!! Like, I don't hate Naruto or Sakura, but because of their obsession with Sasuke (worst character, sorry Sasuke stans) it makes them SO boring to me. (I could so easily rant about Naruto, but this isn't about him lol, but I'm just sayin' you hit Shippuden and he gets real dull. And just to compare- 500 episodes of Naruto counts the first 220 from the original and then 280 of Shippuden so 500 in is a little over halfway through Shippuden, so I was basically over Naruto as an MC by then. ANYWAY! Enough about him!)
There's so much to love about Luffy. He comes out of the gate being Iconic as fuck in episode 1 and he STAYS that way! He stays that way but he also grows, but even after character growth moments he stays the same goofy guy in the end and I love that! He has a death grip around embodying joyous whimsy. It probably helps that he starts his journey already knowing who he is and what he wants. There is little in the way of self-doubt, and I love the confidence he has in himself and his dream and in others.
I also love that sometimes he's a little rude-ass! Okay, well he's blunt, so sometimes he comes off as rude, but it's funny as fuck. I also love that he displays many AuDHD symptoms, it makes him feel more relatable in some ways.
He's also just so emotionally intelligent. I mean, can he read the room most of the time? Not to save his goddamn life! But is he a great judge of character? Always. He is a ride or die homie! He often feels overly optimistic, but he's also so realistic in those tougher situations or decisions he has to make and I appreciate that kind of depth in a character, and it's SO important for an MC to have those traits! He knows when it's okay to be silly and when he HAS to be serious. And he doesn't mind relying on his friends!!! I see so many main characters insisting they can do something on their own, but Luffy admits time and time again that he DOES need to rely on his friends because they have skills he doesn't! He lifts others up and values them for the qualities they don't always see in themselves! I love him so much.
HE IS ASEXUAL!!! Like it's actually been very heavily implied and there is contextual evidence for it in canon. For example: he has these interactions with Boa Hancock whose Devil Fruit power turns horny people to stone (yeah), and when she tried using it on Luffy LITERALLY nothing happens to him. Aro/Ace King!!! (Again, I'm also aroace so that's why this scores big points with me!) Luffy will never go to horny jail, and good for him!
I also think there is a subtle but noticeable shift in his behavior when his brothers are around (well I can only really use Ace as an example here). But in a different way than Ace, because Luffy is the baby. Like Ace goes gremlin mode, and I think Luffy slips a bit into baby mode. It's harder to see the difference because Luffy is always kind of silly, but when Ace was around he feels a little more like he's clinging to his brother in a way. And to be fair Ace sort of lets him. Like in Alabasta before Luffy realized Ace was there, he was doing his damndest to use the one braincell he has to think through his predicament when encountering Smoker, even if it meant just running away from a fight he probably wanted to have but knew he couldn't win so he didn't engage. But the moment Ace stepped in and told Luffy not to worry about Smoker he was kind of like "oh yippie! :) Okay! Yayyy! <3" and just did what big bro said.
Idk how he'd be with Sabo, but I think he'd be even MORE of a baby around him because I feel like Sabo would let him get away with it more than Ace would.
Anyway!
I just like imagining the siblings having fun and doing sibling things together and everyone is happy and alive :) I love them! I I love the potential! I love what we could have haaaaaaaaaaad!!!!
Sorry this is so long. I love One Piece if you couldn't tell. And this could've been WAY longer. I really, really tried to hold back. But, erm, Your Honor, I love One Piece... I know some crimes can never be forgiven -_-'
#thanks for the ask!#kat rambles#Andrea I don't know if you truly realize what you've unleashed here hahaha..... ah......#im so serious when I say you don't have to read this whole thing#but i feel like i didn't even answer the question properly#i feel like i went off prompt so many times and just started rambling about shit#also i realize that not everyone likes OP as much as me lmfao#but yeah really thanks for the ask and giving me the outlet to ramble on and on about OP
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I love all your succession thoughts in your tags haha. Connor self-correcting about Logan not even liking him because it upset Kendall and Shiv 😭 him comforting all three even though he got left out, again (but didn’t complain). so Big Brother, and I especially love how different Kendall is as the eldest to Roman and Shiv versus as Connor’s little brother. so good and so sad ):
Ahah, thank you, anon! And yes! God, I could talk about Big Brother Connor all day because I love everything about him, not just in terms of his character, but what he means for the story. The show would be worse off without him, not just because Connor's an interesting character and Alan Ruck's wonderful in the role, but because Connor plays as such a neat, narrative shorthand to immediately undermine Kendall's entitlement when it comes to being the clear heir, and the trickle down effect that has on all the dynamics in the show is just so good. It'd be a really, really different show without him.
More to your point though, I really do love Connor's dynamics with all three of his siblings, and I know everyone particularly loves Connor's dynamic with Roman at the moment (which, gosh, I do too!) but I do think I find Connor and Kendall's a more interesting one overall.
All the dynamics are different, but Connor's and Kendall's just marks such a shift in terms of both their places within the family unit. Roman's always the youngest son, Shiv's always the youngest and only daughter, but Connor and Kendall both feel as though they are the eldest son and something else too. There's a version of Connor that's an only child - he has a different mother, he's so much older, he's an outsider more than he is an insider with his little half siblings, and there's a version of Kendall that's a middle child, a little brother; even once, for a few years before Roman and Shiv were born, a youngest son.
In so many ways, Kendall's birth is symbolic for Connor in a way that Roman and Shiv's aren't. It was the end of a period in his life (fifteen years, as Alan Ruck has said), where he was an only child, and the beginning of him having a family beyond his parents. An imperfect one, sure, and I imagine all three of the Golden Trio were absolute nightmares as kids, haha, but I think Connor loves them deeply and in some ways I think they probably saved him. From what the show's peppered in, I can't even fathom what his life would've been like if it had just been him, Logan and his mother, and honestly, it's hard to imagine what Kendall, Roman and Shiv's lives would've been like without Connor too. From childhood camping trips to him being there to walk Shiv down the aisle before Logan decided to show up, Connor's role in their lives is irreplacable and, yeah, taken for granted.
But of course, there is this strain there when it comes to Kendall being so regarded as heir apparent for so long, and I do think it complicates Connor's relationship with Kendall a bit. I think it's easier with Roman - they're the cast offs together, y'know? - and with Shiv too - her gender disadvantages her even more than Connor's mother disadvantages him - but I also don't necessarily think it complicates it as much as either of them think it should. After all, Kendall's not a clear cut golden child, he's not a perfect image of or for their father, and for every time he's an overconfident, brown-nosing, entitled little prince, he's also an anxious stammering, insecure, submissive little boy with addiction issues, and while Connor can chafe and roll his eyes at the former, he seems to be pretty soft and protective when it comes to the latter.
And I think on the flipside, Connor's presence as the eldest son does feel undermining to Kendall. He really clearly tries to position himself as the oldest and the heir, not just in the business, but in the family, and the fact that it's not technically true I think is this kind of awesome character note that underscores all the ways Kendall performs as something he's not. He's not a killer, he's not the eldest, he's not the heir, he's nobody and he's nothing, and it eats him up, and kind of interestingly, I think Connor's the only person Kendall doesn't seem to perform for. He performs for Roman and Shiv all the time, but when it's just him and Connor, they tend to just be Kendall and Connor, warts and all, and I think that's indicative of a safety a little sibling often only finds in an older sibling, especially one who gives as much as Connor gives to them.
#also correct me if i'm wrong but i'm p sure connor and kendall were the first mutual sibling i love you we got way back in 1.08?#anyway i just!#love them!#and god#just the last two eps with kendall actually trying for a minute with the rehearsal dinner and then being such a watery calf-eyed baby#and not being able to tell him their dad died#it just!!!#gets me!!!!!!!#connor + kendall#connor roy#kendall roy#hbo succession#succession spoilers#succession 4.03#succession meta
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Hey I wanted to say how much i love your fics. Kagehina is my go to pairing and your fics have a quality maybe like what one anon said abt Ghibli. I keep longing to read something like tht, a setting that steals your heart like a book cover that intrigues you and you want to be sucked into the verse. There's the melancholy to it, then a feeling akin to reading haikyuu itself. As nostalgic, refreshing and that you achieved something in life. Your Brazil shoyo is something imprinted in my heart. It's a blessing u write for kagehina. Ik u don't ship them and some anon even implied abt how annoying kghn fans were lol still I'd love to say hah but she gets their dynamics so good or yayyy she writes for kagehina. Your recent nyc fic blew my mind away. I got chills reading the last part abt hinata like YOU GET HIM. How do you nail characters WITH setting so well?? The environment we grow up in is so important to shape our views Like nyc Brazil Japan literally you are amazing! Also do you have any hc for Kageyama in Italy👀
Also if you ever right og fiction, I'm ur number one fan. You will have so many fans with your content! Sorry for long ask sjshjjshhjjj
Take care.
Hello, anon!!! And *sobs* thank you!!!! My fics are just a drop in the incredibly immense ocean of works in the fandom, but I'm glad my stories found you and resonated with you so much. It's such a huge accomplishment ;-; ;-; ;-;
AHHHH you want me to share my headcanons of Kageyama in Italy? Well, DON'T MIND IF I DO :D
Kageyama lived with Ali Roma's assistant coach (I've always liked the name Gino, so let's go with that) for his first year in Serie A to help him integrate better. Gino's eldest son moved away to Antwerp for university so he had the spare room. A portion of Kageyama's starting salary was supposed to go to Coach Gino for his living expenses, but Gino insisted for Kageyama to use that money to buy stuff for himself instead since he brought so little when he came to Italy. In return, Kageyama helped with mowing the lawn and walking the dogs and washing the dishes. Gino had two other boys, Elio (7) and Dino (6), and they took turns harassing Kageyama into playing football with them in their backyard. Kageyama usually acquiesced if they played volleyball with him afterwards.
When he became more comfortable with the language and the people, Kageyama moved out of Gino's home during his second year, much to the family's dismay. Especially Elio and Dino---they were buzzing around Kageyama like wasps when he was straightening his luggage at the doorstep ("Are you leaving us because I kept stealing your team jackets?" Dino asked mournfully. "No," Kageyama said, totally bewildered at the children's tear-streaked faces). Little did they know that Kageyama rented an apartment so comically close to their home, just three blocks away from theirs.
One time during a match against Perugia, Kageyama had this disconcerting feeling that something was wrong with his vision. He consulted with the team's doctor, who referred him to an ophthalmologist. He found out he had a mild case of myopia (nearsightedness); it wasn't serious and he didn't need any corrective lenses, but Kageyama badgered the poor doctor with questions that the consult lasted for an hour and a half. The doctor gave him an extensive list on how to prevent it from getting worse: diet, exercise, less screentime, and loads and loads of sunshine. So now, Kageyama spent most of his free time outdoors: cycling, running, mountain climbing, reading sports monthly magazines at the park, playing pick-up games with his teammates, or walking Gino's dogs around the neighborhood. Whenever Kageyama's parents called to check on him, he was always out and about. It surprised them at first; they hadn't known their son to be the outdoor-sy type, but it did put their mind at ease. Kageyama had always been noticeably more cheerful when he's under the sun.
Beat reporters found Kageyama particularly frustrating to interview, though they weren't sure if it was a matter of his personality, his nationality, him being media-trained af by the team's comms department, or all three. Talented and an exciting player on the orange court, for sure, but outside of it he rarely had anything interesting to say. Always calm, always poised, always with the cliché responses. He was once ambushed in a family restaurant by a sports podcaster who asked for his opinion about the sudden spike in female Ali Roma fans, and Kageyama answered with a cool, "Volleyball is the greatest sport in the world. I'm glad more people are realizing that now and tuning in to our games. I'm grateful for any support the sport and our team gets, wherever it's coming from". ("Gah, he's so unaffected!" the podcaster grieved. "No girls, no scandalous rendezvous, no skeevy thoughts, no openings, nada. Zero. Zilch. Like what the hell? Is he a cyborg? It's always volleyball 100%.").
But one journalist sniffed around Kageyama's early career happenings and she managed to find something that'd generate a reaction. Compare Kageyama's stats to a certain undersized Japanese player in Brazil's Superlega, and you'd find unassailable proof that Kageyama Tobio is, indeed, human ("Yeah? And how many service aces and solo blocks does he have?" Kageyama scoffed when the reporter said his longtime rival held São Paolo's team lead in kills and total swings. "Not that many, I'm sure. Not that I watch his games anyway.").
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Since we've gotten a few chapters into the arranged marriage fic, I thought I should post some information about the characters i jotted down a few months ago :]
(This'll be a pretty long post haha. I've had so many thought about these sillies)
Since the story starts when they're young, I had to pit in some thoughts towards their family structures. And I didn't wanna give everyone a nuclear family, so I made sure they all had their own unique experiences
Jimmy and Lizzie's family has already been shown. It's just the two of them and their mom, and their father passed away when Jimmy was a baby. The royal family has very mixed heritage (since Jimmy’s a cod and Lizzie is a more axolotol like merfolk) much to their mothers dislike. Because she sucks. Their father was probably from the codlands or atleast their grandparents on one side were. Lizzie is more scared of their mother (a fear hardwired into her since she was little by constant pressure to be perfect or else) than Jimmy is (who feels like he has to stand up for himself because no one else will/to be recognized for who he is) and it ends up casuing some rifts between them, especially in regards to Jimmy transitioning
Sausage wasn't actually born into royal life, the current queen adopted him. If someone asks about it he says it's a long story, but basically his side of the family was disgraced for some reason a long time ago, and his parents (and maybe siblings) passed in an accident one night. And the queen wasn't just going to let her own blood be orphaned. They're not very such on how exactly theyre related, but Sausage calls the Queen his tía. They're relationship is pretty positive and he's usually following her around when he's bored.
Joel's family consists of just him and his parents. They all get along pretty well, his mother sharing his love of architecture and his father enjoyed the little pranks he pulls. Its overall a very healthy dynamic, and his parents also view Jimmy specifically as a second son (along with being very accepting of him). They serve as a contrast to the shitshow that is the Ocean Queen and her children.
I've always imagined Pix as being the oldest of the group (by a good bit too) in everything I've written, so I don't really seem him with parents? Though am!Pix des have his uncle, the current/soon to be retired king of Pixandria (I can't remember if he's retired or not by the end of chapter one lol.) His uncle is more extroverted than he is, but Pix gets along well with him. They also share the weird Vigil related powers/visions, though Pix has stronger ones than his uncle does.
Scott and Xornorth seem to also contrast Jimmy’s family, but the inner workings are a little more complicated. They actually share more things in common (so do fWhip and Gem, but we'll talk about them in a minute.) Rivendell royal family cosnistnts of a King, Queen, and the two princes. Both eleves get along with one parent more than the other. Xornoth likes their mother more and Scott likes their father. But there is a lot of pressure on both children to be proper and perfect, even if Xornoth is inheriting most of the power and influence since they're the eldest. For now anyways.
Pearl's family just consists of her and her father, and whatever wayward aunt or cousins drops by from time to time. Pearl was also adopted, like Sausage. But unlike him she wasn't already royal before that. Her family was the one chosen to lead when Gilded Hilenthia became a empire, since its still a pretty young one. Pearl loves her adopted father very much, and tries not to fret over her biological parents a lot. She hopes they gave her up for a good reason. And if they didn't, she wouldn't want to know. She's pretty content with how her life has gone, so she doesn't see much need to dig up a possibly upsetting past and risk losing it. Though sometimes she does wonder...
Joey has both of his birth parents, and no siblings. The lost empire is also pretty easygoing, so there aren't many standards he has to follow. He thinks his parents are laid back and amazing, and just doesn't get all the stress his peers go through. And then he express that in the rudest way possible, because he's Joey and a little spoiled brat sometimes.
fWhip and Gem's parents have recently gone through a divorce. And by recently I mean like, a few months before chapter one recently. Everything still pretty fresh, and they're seemingly "perfect" family has been overturned. Though looking back, both twins can definitely see the cracks showing. Their mother and father agrue a lot, with tends to sour any family visits. Which sucks, because it's the only time the twins really get to see each other, after almost being inseparable for about fifteen years. And neither of their parengs have very healthy coping mechnisms. I don't think they waht to hurt their children, it just happens. And was probably always going to happen with a relationship this strained. Gem is trying to fit into a peacemaker role, while fWhip just wants them to do the much healthier avoid each other if they agrue everytime. Safe to say it's causing some cracks in the twins dynamic.
Katheirne lives with both her parents, and the House Blossom royal family is said to be very fun and welcoming. And also big on parties. They give her some stress over her future duties as queen, but nothing to the extent of what her peers get. Her mother and father also aren't against housing any poor soul that needs it within the castle walsl, which had rubbed off on Kathrine.
Shrub lives with both her parents and her grandmother, who actually adopted her father when he was little. The four gnomes are very close to each other, and its normally to see two or more of them together. The only time their separate is when they need personal alone time, or something important had come up. Shrub loves her parents, but she really loves spending time with and learning a lot for her grandmother.
The next thing I had written down pre-fic was their ages, but only as of chapter one. By chapter four it's been about a year and a half, so just add that to these ages below if you must. (We'll get an age recount once I get the timeline more in order + once empires s1 plotting officially starts)
In order from oldest to youngest:
Pix - 21
Xornoth - 19
Lizzie - 17
Pearl - 16
Joey - 16
Sausage - 16
Scott - 15
fWhip - 15
Gem - 15
Joel - 15
Katherine - 14
Shrub - 14
Jimmy - 14
(And yes, Jimmy is the baby of the group. Shrub is a few months older than him, and Katherine is older than both of them by a handful of months as well. That orderinv goes for all 16 and 15 year Olds as well. [Pearl is the oldest of her year, while Scott is the oldest of his])
Adding 1 1/2 years onto those ages, chapter four tales place when Jimmy is 15 turning 16 and Fwhip will turn 17 by like..... chapter 12-14, looking ag my outline
Thats all! Hope you enoted the read :] it was fun getting all these thoughts out haha
#ron.txt#empires smp#Not gonna maintag it much#for later#<- I'll probably need to reference it again at some point#tw child abuse#tw transphobia#<- either mentioned/referenced#ily (im not supossed too)
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