#I just have lots of thoughts

[karmaramen]

the toshiro/laios fight tickles my brain. i relate to both of them and it makes me a lil sad seeing people hate toshiro with such vitriol.

like as an autistic poc one of the major ways i mask is emotional repression. and while im completely oblivious to some social cues, i'm keenly aware of others, to the point where i'll be bottling stuff up and stressed tf out by this weird balancing game!

i innately want to appease people, to the point of playing nice even when i'm uncomfortable. i genuinely want to get along with everyone, but sometimes that's impossible. my nature to try to help everyone can often contradict itself and twist into appearing two-faced or duplicitous.

toshiro doesn't hate laios, but they aren't as close as laios thought they were either. it's not clean cut one way or the other. they fight, they talk—and yeah—its on toshiro to speak up and not make assumptions. but they're able to come to a mutual understanding and i think that's really neat since i resonate with them and my own internal conflicts!

all this to say im gnawing on ryoko kui's writing. really cool stuff going on. the parallels foils and interactions between different characters are so tasty.

[unown]

someone I knew died of cancer a couple of days ago and it still doesn’t feel real. my interactions with her were brief over the years and we never had a chance to get close but my coworkers were all very close to her. she used to babysit the kids I care for (which I have been doing for the past 6 years) before me and was someone very dear to the family so it’s all just sad. she died a few days after we all went to the hospital to see her and I was so overwhelmed with sadness for just everyone there. I was too scared to hug her and tell her how sorry I am for her, because I felt like I was imposing on everyone else’s sadness but I managed to do it at the last minute and I’m glad I did. Her final words to me were bittersweet. She said something that reminded me that we had a bigger connection than I thought. I’ll miss her. I’m dog sitting for my boss who was also super close to her and I wrote her a card and did some shelley duvall doodles because she loved her too. idk it’s all just a lot, I can’t wait to go back home to my bed tomorrow and just recover from the past 10 days

[lightning-macrine]

Izzy Hands is not a cut-and-paste villain and deserves to grow and change

No okay so I hate it when people try to make Izzy out to be some sort of master manipulator and possessive monster over Ed because he tried to leave!!!!! He was packing his stuff!!! He was preparing the dinghy!! He APOLOGISED for saying all those things!!!! And even after they survived, after Ed and Stede’s plan worked, he still accepted and owned up to the disrespect he’d shown his captain and tried to leave/resign as he said he would.

That’s what the significance of “I need you” is, instead it’s actually Ed (possibly unknowingly) manipulating Izzy into staying with him because he knows he can’t go on without Izzy. He tells Izzy his ‘plan’, he “promises” (he doesn’t use the word promise but he highly highly hints at it and that’s how Izzy takes it:“he promised me”) Izzy a ship of his own if he stays. Izzy would have been perfectly fine leaving before this (he was practically docile!), before he was lured back in by Ed’s promises, Ed’s manipulation.

What Ed wants to keep Izzy around for (killing Stede himself because he can’t do it or keeping the ship running) isn’t fully clear but what is is that Ed knows what to say and what to do to make Izzy stay. Which is what makes me so frustrated when people demonise Izzy as some jealous hag (of course if we’re following DJ’s idea of him as a jilted spouse that’s certainly an aspect) because there’s multiple layers to just how spurned Izzy can and should feel here.

We know that Ed’s slowly become more and more distant, not telling Izzy and the crew what his plans are, and whichever plans he does decide on are dangerous and risky (ie. attack a Spanish naval ship!). We also know that Izzy has been the one handling it all the past few years. So of course he’s jealous that Stede and the Revenge crew are suddenly getting all this attention and affection when he’s been fighting tooth and nail for scraps of it for years. Of course he feels neglected when Ed continues to not tell him any plans (oh but he’ll tell Stede!) and the one plan he was told of progressively gets less and less likely to happen. It’s betrayal. A betrayal of his (and Fang and Ivan’s) trust, a betrayal of the years of work and energy he’s put into his role both physically and emotionally, and a betrayal of the lives of the crew members who died on his orders.

Of course, I’m not saying all his actions and reactions are justified, his ratting out of Stede to the British navy is definitely done out of spite and with malicious intent as well as with his genuine belief that he is protecting Ed (ie. sending Jack out to separate him & Stede, bargaining to keep Ed free), but I am saying that there’s no underlying dark evil master manipulator plan in all this. For as much as Izzy acts like a hard-ass, he’s very much controlled by his emotions and his pride. He wants to keep Blackbeard alive and get things back to how they were when they first started, so he works to do so. I truly don’t believe that he has a desire to keep Blackbeard under his control (look at how happy he is post-toe scene, his captain just mutilated him and he’s smiling, he doesn’t care what Ed does to him so long as his old captain comes back) but genuinely wants things to go back the way they were.

It isn’t healthy of course, for either of them, and part of his arc should be learning to accept the kindness and softness that Stede taught to Ed, which I do think is possible in season 2, purely because I do believe he’s not this unredeemable monster villain, but rather a very flawed and very human character who for all his faults has some valid reasons for the things he does.

[antisociallilbrat]

One of my many thoughts about Bill is Denscom or Bill/Ben because Bill shows love with acts of service and Ben shows love with words of affirmation and I feel like those are what the other needs. Ben is sweet and can reassure Bill when he's down on himself and Bill is thoughtful and will move heaven and earth to do whatever Ben needs from him. Ben writes him poetry that Bill keeps in his room and Bill draws for him and Ben has them hanging on his wall.

A denscom thought??? In my inbox??? How was I this blessed 🥲

No but I completely agree with you on what Ben and Bill’s love languages are- and I’ll add a thought to this.

When they first get together Bill insists are doing everything for Ben. Carrying his books to class, driving him around town, making his plate of food, ect ect ect. It’s just little things but in Bill’s cold home he knows how much little things can mean, and he kinda goes overboard at first. Richie definitely cracks some jokes. “what? Is Ben’s arms suddenly broken? Is that why you’re doing everything for him?”

But Ben thinks this is so sweet so he constantly showers Bill in praise and eventually, Bill mellows out. Yes he still loves doing anything to make Ben smile but he stops…what’s the word? Coddling him? I just think it would be sweet if Bill was just a little too enthusiastic about how he shows his love when he first gets together with Ben and Ben being relentlessly patient with him.

Also you mentioned one of my favorite head cannons! I love Ben writing poems for Bill (and the other losers) and Bill drawing doodles of Ben <3 Ben thinks Bill draws him better than he actually looks and Bill disagrees bc that is how he sees Ben <3 <3

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[yeepof]

Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!

[tragedia]

@opyrrhic told harlan, “ i don't mean to sound critical, but have you considered a new line of work? ” [ M. ]

A vein almost pops at his temple, obscured by a fringe of dark curls. It's clear they're both aware of the true meaning behind these words, but Harlan has been trained for something like this exactly. No need for a divine sense to tell where all this may lead, regardless of the feeling he gets every time the person before him crosses his path, uselessly relentless in overthrowing the well-crafted balance Harlan usually keeps. He marks all the weapons potentially concealed between the two of them, while adjusting the grip on a basket of fruit in his hands.

“ Oh? But we all draw our lot in life. A servant may be a humble profession, but it's just as good of a job as any if it pays for a meal and a blanket, ” Harlan says, his tone polite as ever as he maps out three escape routes out of this alley. It's not in his contract to dispose of someone who seems vaguely important, yet he notes all potential weak spots to exploit if the other decides to stubbornly attempt to upset this delicate operation. Harlan's a professional, after all. He ignores a thing such as pride and folds himself into a polite bow, saying, “ If good master has nothing else for this humble servant, I shall bid farewell. ”

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[brucie-baby]

the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me

[deathpowerphantomjester5110]

I keep thinking about that post going around that’s like “if you’re fine with 'your dad is gay' jokes but are uncomfortable with someone suggesting that a cis man with long hair buying womens deoderant is actually a trans woman, you need to check your biases”. When I read that, I did indeed check my biases and tried to figure out what made those two assumptions different in my mind, and I think I've found the answer. As sure as I am that plenty of folks who are uncomfortable w/ those jokes ARE transphobes, I don’t think that it’s necessarily 100% a transphobia problem. I’m a trans person, so hear me out.

The issue that I have with those jokes is not that they herald the emergence of a theoretical trans woman; it's that they assign non-gendered characteristics to a particular gender identity and reinforce a binary that was constructed by the hegemony. A "cis man" could just as likely be a proto-trans woman while having traditionally masculine characteristics like short hair, facial hair, or whatever flavor of deodorant is considered masculine these days, but you don't see people making those jokes about those types of men. The gendering of non-gendered characteristics is a topic covered by many feminist and queer theorists like Judith Butler and Monique Wittig; Wittig says in "One is Not Born a Woman" that "what we believe to be a physical and direct perception is only a sophisticated and mythic construction, an "imaginary formation," which reinterprets physical features (in themselves as neutral as any others but marked by the social system) through the network of relationships in which they are perceived" (3). Jokes like these are proof that the reinforcement of this imaginary formation is not reserved for cis/het people, and they undermine our supposed-enlightened view of gender and sexuality.

Questioning another person's validity in their presumed gender identity because of their physical characteristics is something done by the queer community and by cis/het people (e.g., "if you cut your hair short, people will think you're a boy). Jokes like these operate under a veneer of progressivism because it's queer people saying them, and if the queer people are "correct" in their joking, then the queer community has expanded. Because of this, well-meaning people who call attention to the implications behind those jokes expose themselves to being targeted as a bigot or a transphobe.

The "this person is a woman because they have long hair and smell like a woman" argument is a reversed perspective of the way gender performativity operates. Judith Butler says that "gender perfomativity ... is a compulsory repetition or prior and subjectivating norms, one which cannot be thrown off at will, but which work, animate, and constrain the gendered subject, and which are also the resources from which resistance, subversion, displacement are to be forged" ("Critically Queer" 22). This gender performativity applies to both cisgender and transgender people—trans women often have long hair and wear dresses, trans men often have short hair and bind their chests. It's important to acknowledge that Butler isn't saying that performing gender is necessarily a bad thing. With that being said, I'm going to stick to questioning others' gender identity based on what they say about it (e.g., "I'm not trans, every man wishes he was a woman!"), rather than what I see. I really hope that others start doing the same.

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[artsymeeshee]

Random idea I got this morning thinking about how small little things (mostly about missing important moments of the past) make the boys emotional and sorrowful.

[lotus-pear]

charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[octarineblues]

supporting communities & people impacted by the Southport attack and the far-right riots in the UK

here is a list of community fundraisers I found, starting with those aiming to support the Southport community after the appalling attack at a children dance party, to the fundraisers helping those affected by the subsequent racist and Islamophobic far-right/nazi riots

Edited on 5 August to include Middlesbrough fundraisers. Edited on 6 August to correct the link on the Books for Spellow Lane fundraiser, to adjust the name change for the Belfast fundraiser, and to adjust the wording in the second last paragraph.

Southport:

Southport Strong Together Appeal - organised by the community foundation for Merseyside, for those affected by the Southport knife attack

United for Southport families - the funds will be distributed among the nine families of the children who were at the party

Swifties for Southport - a fundraiser for the Alder Hey Children's charity, which supports the victims and the affected families, as well as first responders and clinicians. Extra funds will also support the wider Southport community

Fundraiser for the Southport Mosque - a fundraiser to aid rebuilding or possibly re-locating the Southport Mosque after the damages it suffered during the riots

Rebuilding Windsor Mini Mart - fundraiser to rebuild the locally-owned grocery store that was targeted during the attacks, broken into, and looted

Liverpool:

Fundraiser for the Spellow Hub - the Spellow Hub was broken into, looted and set on fire at night during the riots. The Spellow Hub is a newly created one-of-a-kind (in the UK) institution, which consists of a library as well as a community centre with a mission to help people get education and pathways to work

Books for Spellow Lane - another fundraiser for the library in the Spellow Hub, to replace the books and rebuild the library there edit: included the correct link

Hartlepool:

Fundraiser for the Nasir Mosque - the Nasir Mosque was attacked following Southport riots; this fundraiser is organised by Hartlepool citizens to help the mosque deal with the damages as well as to show appreciation for the role of the mosque in the community. edit: the funds will be also distributed to the local community!

Rebuilding the Farm Shop - the shop was targeted during the riots, and when the owner and his son tried to protect it, they were also violently attacked. The fundraiser is to help fix the damages to the store.

Sunderland:

help rebuild Citizens Advice Sunderland offices after arson - two of the Citizens Advice Sunderland offices were set on fire during the riots, and one of them is completely destroyed.

Hull:

Hull Help for Refugees - a local fundraiser to support the Hull Help for Refugees charity, the donated money will be re-distributed to community members affected by the riots

Fundraiser for Hull Help for Refugees and Welcome House in Hull - collected money will be donated to the two charities

Belfast:

help fix racially motivated damages - originally the fundraiser for the Sahara Shisha Cafe which was targeted by the far right in Belfast during the riots, now a fundraiser for all affected businesses in the area. edited to reflect the change of the name of the fundraiser to avoid any confusion

Middlesbrough:

Supporting residents after the riots - Middlesbrough has suffered so much during the riots, lots of businesses as well as just regular family homes were vandalised, had their windows smashed or even were broken into. This fundraiser wants to distribute the funds between affected people to help them fix the damages, and to generally support the local community. the newest fundraiser, imo potentially the most urgent one

Fundraiser for a Care worker's car which was set on fire - a car belonging to an employee of a care agency was set on fire during the riots while he was on shift at a care home.

If you want to donate locally but there is no fundraiser to support where you live, consider donating to your local charities oriented towards Muslim or PoC communities, or towards anti-racist and refugee organizations! And go support your local Muslim/Arab/Black/Asian/Refugee owned businesses!

If you have any information about other local fundraisers, feel free to add to the post or don't hesitate to let me know and I will add them here! We have seen so much hate in the past few days, we have to stay strong and keep supporting each other!

Stay safe everyone 💛

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Into the pit? More like into the daddy issues