#I just feel bad sometimes when y'all send me messages or reply to a post

[inklore]

— CELEBRATING TWO YEARS OF LOVE.

let's pretend that i posted this on the real anniversary date (july 18th) and not a few weeks late ok. but i'm still shell shocked i honestly stayed around on here for this long, seeing as how i've been on this hellsite for over ten years maybe even longer, have left many blogs and sideblogs behind, but have stayed put on here for longer than it feels. even through all the craziness and friends gained and lost. i have not grown sick of this place and i know it's all because of my mutuals (and followers) aka the most beautiful, hilarious, talented souls anyone could ask to have on their side.

whether we are friends or have never spoken i love you, i adore you. thank you for making my time spent on here worth it even when times get tough and this little hobby of ours seems more like a stressful nine to five.

@deathmotif, @authurials, @theauthorvt, +annie — hey remember when we all met on wp and i started that silly little michael langdon gc on kik and it was a dozen of us in there but then it soon dwindled down to us five and kik was on the verge of imploding and we all moved over to snap and now we literally all talk every day, if not every other??! my day isn't complete without seeing one of you sending an unhinged video in the gc. IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS with you guys in my life and you know me better than anyone. i can tell you my darkest secrets, traumas, thoughts, and there's no judgment. it's literally the most healthy friend group ever. i'm forcing ya'll to dress up as barbie's for my bachelorette party, like you're stuck with me. barbie is serious. just as serious as my love is for each and every one of you. when i think about my life and future you guys are always in it. idk if we should thank cody fern or the antichrist or both. but whoever brought us together in this life i hope they do it in the next because life without y'all would suck.

@psychedelic-ink — you should already know how much i love you, but let me remind you, let me go on for ever and tell you how special you are to me ok. when i was balling my eyes out on the phone/discord you were there to listen to me be a blubbering mess, you were there to talk me down, to listen, to validate my feelings. when i need someone to be motivating and get shit done with me you're there. when i need to rant about something horny you're there to encourage the unhinged. our discord sleepovers are my favorite thing in the world. i'm still shocked when i think back to our casual messages on here turning into a friendship so close and tight that my man spent over $100 to send you a magazine (without question) because he knows how much you mean to me. you have my heart always!

@pedrito-friskito — i have the most vivid memory of me and sil talking about you on discord and how great you were and i was like um?? i wanna be friends with kay! so after we got off of the phone i messaged you and then before i knew it me, you, and sil were in a gc together and the rest is history. i love that you and i like to disappear without a word sometimes but always come back like lol sorry but here's this love and support and encouragement and let me just life update you but also make you horny with this thought, and sil just puts up with us and i love it. ily. i'm forever forcing you to write and publish every story you write because you're going to put sjm to shame with the beauty your brain comes up with.

@tom-whore-dleston — i know i'm the worst at replying but you never make me feel bad for it. you're like 'oh yeah her adhd brain will get back to this text in 2 to 3 business weeks it's ok', and i love you for it. but no seriously ily so much. you're the first person i think of when all i can think about is dick because i know you're thinking the same thing. i know you'll understand. every time i see you post on social media i'm like wtf?? why am i halfway across the states and not with the loml right now?? it's truly unfair because i know if we were together we'd be the most chaotic, loud, sluttiest duo ever. your talent always amazes me, your beauty makes me jealous. both of our partners better watch out because i'ma run away with you one day i swear!

@chaseadrian — the fact that we grew close in a fandom that i despise now and is more toxic than not and a beautiful friendship came out of it?? iconic. every time i think about you all i can think is 'they just seems like they have everything all together, their ideas, their graphics, their mind, the way they speak is like talking to that really cool english teacher' like lmao i cannot explain how much i want your vibe. i adore your vibe. i ADORE YOU.

@greenorangevioletgrass — as one of my first friends on this little blog of mine i feel like i need to do more than put into words how much i adore you, how grateful i am to call you a friend, to be a part of your presence on here. hearing your ideas, your living breathing fic-like life is serotonin to me. like please share in the sexy wealth bestie!

@sapphireplums — when i see you in my inbox i literally get this overjoyed feeling inside me like charity thought about me today?? took time out of her day to send me something?? i'm blessed. i hope you and your beautiful mind are thriving bestie because you're literally one of the nicest, softest, people i've met on here and i'm in your corner if you ever need me. to show you love and support. to continue to convince you that your themes will always be more superior than mine!!

@rae-gar-targaryen — if success and talent and beautiful prose (and face) was an olympic sport you would have won by now. you HAVE won. we may not talk as much as we used to but just know that i always am thinking about how you are, waiting patiently for you to bless us with more of your fics (even if it's a crumb i'm like a little mouse savoring it because hello?? emily henry who? she got nothing on you). as my lawyer i love knowing if i needed you you'd be there with a simple text, as my bestie, as someone i look up to, as someone who radiates elegance and something else i can't even put into words because that's literally how you leave me, speechless: never change and know i'm always here for you.

@allaboardthereadingrailroad, @littledemondani, @wroteclassicaly — the three of you were those 'big' accounts that always intimated me. i stood in the background reading your stuff and being like ok they're going to put me out of business and then being absolutely shook when you followed me, i felt like i made it. like this was what being on here was all about having the accounts you find the most talented and amazing, and who have wrote some of your fav fics, follow you. and we may not talk a lot but i cherish you guys so so very much. like even before i made this account, on my old accounts, i've always been your #1 fans!!

@kittyofalltrades, @namorwife, @yoditopascal — i may have all but died out and disappeared from the discord server, and we may not talk anymore, but some of my best memories are with you guys. the unhinged, the thirst, the games, the rantings, i've never been more entertained and chaotic and rowdy than i was with ya'll and i love it. i miss it. ya'll are still my favorite people, my loves, my besties. one day i will be horny over the same characters as ya'll again and you'll be annoyed with my thirst again.

@eupheme, @tripleyeeet, @wint3r-h3art, @ohcaptains, @celestianstars, @flordeamatista — if there were ever a group of beautiful people i constantly compare myself to because the way they write, the way their themes look, the way their fic layouts / set ups look, their graphics, their vibes, their talent, their so many damn things: it would be ya'll. like i'm constantly like how do i get on their level? like i know there's not levels on here and everyone is so uniquely special and amazing at what they write and do and make, but i'm always in the trenches of devoting and heart eyes over EVERYTHING ya'll post. ya'll are the cool art kids i want to hangout with but instead i'm screaming in cheer in the silent museum where your creations should be showcased.

@mothdruid, @moonlight-prose, @moondirti, @angrythingstarlight, @amywritesthings, @oncasette, @withahappyrefrain, @navybrat817, @bakerstreethound, @villenelle, @refined-by-fire, @ladylannisterxo, @emerald-chaos, @mxgyver, @foli-vora, @jettia, @moreofem, @bits-and-babs, @woodlandmouth, @fluffyprettykitty, @cocoamoonmalfoy, @galatially, @ladylannisterxo, @saintlike78, @buckys-estrella, @ghostlyfleur, @arctvrvs — through the two years of me being on here i have had the pleasure, the joy, of talking to each of you. whether that be screaming in asks, inboxs, discords, pms, where we were hyping each other up, sharing ideas, support, check ups, screaming over each others fics, whatever it may be. there has been love and support and every time i see ya'll in my notfis, reading my stuff, your thirst posts or rant posts or your rbs, i'm always grateful to see it. for it. to be a part of it. but most importantly i'm like: hello why are we not closer?? why do i not bombard them with my love?? annoy them with it so much so that they have no choice but to be my bestie and feel all the doormat love and support that i'm constantly feeling when i see their little icons and usernames. so this is me both saying i adore you, ily, we may not talk as much as i wished but i'm here supporting and loving everything you do and beware that i will annoy you with my love when you least expect it and soon you'll be wishing for me to get out of your pms. you have a friend in me, a supporter, a hyper, seriously i got lucky with y'all being my mutuals <3.

there's so many other babes that i'm missing but tumblr has a tag limit so i couldn't get everyone on this list but just know ily ily literally every single one of my mutuals is a gift from god to me. you put up with my posts and insanity, i have no choice but to give ya'll my whole ass heart!!!!

[my-bobohu-blog]

fantastic friends and where to find them [tumblr edition!]

🌼 daisy @taeyonghi - I just wanna thank you for always supporting me and all my dreams. No matter how big or how small, you’re always cheering me on in life and I can never really thank you enough for how caring you’ve been towards me? Thank you for sharing in my joy whenever I post in happiness in a cup. It honestly means so much to me. You’re always looking out for me and on my bad days you’re always one of the first to send a message reaching out to me to pull me out of the dark. All the songs and good vibes you’ve sent my way have never gone to waste and I am so grateful to you. You are such a wonderful human being and such a bright light in my life. I’m so thankful to be sharing this little universe with you~ I love you Daisy 💕

✨ Alexa @chouxiu - I freaking love you omg. I’m still dying over your nsfw tag from that one post LMFAO. I just never expected it from you TBH??? YOU SEEM LIKE SUCH A SOFTIE. But I’m so glad I’m seeing these parts too because you’re such a complex person but all your parts are equally beautiful. Thank you for always being there for me and cheering me on and just wishing me well and being happy for me. You are so remarkable Alexa and there’s so much kindness in your soul. You do so much for those who follow you from the moodboards and handwritten names. You are an absolute gem. I love you so much 💕

🐠 jelly @mochibaeks - my precious jelly bean! My sister from across the world~ my twin soul honestly HOHOHO! I know life has got you busy with being back to school and all but I’m so thankful that for even the times we don’t talk, it never causes a dent in our friendship? We always just pick up where we left off and we update each other and cheer each other on. You are such an important anchor in my life. I’m so thankful I can tell you all the things that are going on even if it’s a bit late and you’ll still be there for me ready with your fork to poke anyone who has hurt me. I don’t know where I would be without you. You are one of the few I could trust with absolutely anything and everything and I love you 💕

💖 aislinn @callmeminseok - uh hoe idk where id be without you tbvfh? Like where would I channel my luhan hoeness and my EMO-M antics????? Who the fuck would message me the moment luhan is rude as shit and scream into the abyss with my snatched ass??? like Jesus EXO-M Christ you are like my other EXO-M half aka the half that escaped to China and never looked back LOLOLOLO ANYWHO I really do love you and appreciate you for all that you do and all that you are. You always make me laugh and you bring so much joy into my life. I feel like I can never be thankful enough for all the good vibes you’ve sent my way. I love you hella fucking much 💕

🐯 cat @yixings2017 - I know we don’t talk much or at all really but you are just one of the ppl on here I super duper cherish? Like I’ve gone through your entire The Stack tag like 100x and have laughed 100000x because of it omfg the day I discovered that discourse was arguably the best day of my life. You are such a hilarious and genuinely wonderful human being. I love how much you love YIXING and it makes me happy knowing that he has someone like you. You are whole and good person and I always look up to you. No matter where you are in life, I just want you to know that I’m supporting you and that I will always be sending you all my good vibes so i hope they reach you and I hope life treats you kindly. I love you 💕

[jonnnysuh]

Dating Yugyeom would include

Dating GOT7 would include |  SERIES

Just based off my observations/my perception of him. Obviously I have no idea what dating him would be like but thought it would be fun to do. This is more playful than romantic bc what is romance???

Literally never shutting the fuck up

Having meaningless fights about little things and then going back to normal 

Having your own language that makes no sense to everyone else

Laughing til your stomachs hurt and trying to recreate what just happened but laughing again 

Roasting each other as a sign of affection 

Too many nicknames that have weird origin stories that y’all can’t remember 

Both needing to get your ways so you’ll pout until one of you budges 

He is such a simp tho 

Mocking each other after someone says absolutely anything

Dance battles

saying “YOOOOOOOU” like soulja boi

Resting his chin on your head

BOYBOYBOYBOY ((((you kno like when they yell like a siren)))

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING” “IM JUST HAPPY” 

Having to make the hard decisions for him 

Not being able to complete a task bc you’re both so annoyingly distracting 

Something that should take 30 minutes to finish takes 3 hours instead 

Both being confused all the time so you discuss how things should be done and then fight over it

he’ll purposely hide things to make it hard for you 

Holding things over your head bc he wants to watch you jump 

“You’re a bully” “you’re a bully too” “ya but it’s only okay if I do it” 

Saying the same shit at the same time and hitting each other in excitement

He’s funnier than you but you won’t admit it 

SENDING VOICE NOTES INSTEAD OF TEXTING AND YALL HAVE SHORT ATTENTION SPANS SO SOMETIMES IF YOU DONT REPLY IN A FEW MINS YOU FORGET WHAT YOURE SUPPOSED TO SAY SO YOU START A NEW CONVERSATION  

He has a meme folder and has a meme for every occasion 

Bro he’ll MAKE memes using pictures of you 

If he doesn’t reply within a few seconds it’s bc he’s trying to find the perfect meme or making one 

A never ending game of iMessage connect 4 

How he’d annoy you:

Rock Paper Scissors to get out of doing something but even if he loses he’ll refuse for a bit and then do it

Acting shocked even though he knew something you didn’t 

acting like he’s listening but really he’s doing something else

making you call him oppa or he’s not listening

Laying on his shoulder during long car rides

He makes a big deal about your birthday and will plan everything to a t

He sucks at surprises though bc you he tells you everything

it’s always either by accident like he slips it in

OR you’re like “tell me” “no” “fine” “OKAY I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE WE’RE GOING ON A TRIP TO PARIS”

Gossiping with him and he hates all the people you hate and then will also bring up something he heard about them 

he would tour new places with you on facetime and bother everyone in the process

the facetime photos you guys take are so frightening and confusing to look back on bc there’s so much movement and emotion on your faces

buying you dessert/pastries when you’re sad

LITERALLY LAUGHING FESTS BEFORE BED

IT’S ALWAYS STUPID BRO

BUT Y'ALL WILL CRY LAUGHING TOGETHER EVERY SINGLE TIME

Y'ALL JUST SAY THE STUPIDEST SHIT

“YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS” SHOVING THE PHONE IN THEIR FACE AND IT’S THE DUMBEST FUCKING VIDEO IN THE UNIVERSE BUT WHY ARE YOU BOTH DYING

Every single one of the boys know he’s whipped and he’s embarrassed but also you’re his person so who wins now

he’s literally so thoughtful

he knows all your favourite songs and makes a playlist

flowers and flowers and flowers

he’ll drop anything he can to be with you

will remember your childhood stories better than you

can finish your sentences

messages you every time you post a new picture

“hey this thing made me think of you” text

gets you guys matching chain bracelets/rings

finishes the food you can’t

doing tiktok dances but not posting them bc you’re both embarrassing

but he will start the video literally ANYWHERE.

on the plane? in the parking lot? at a restaurant?

His hand is always on you especially when you’re walking through a crowd

having to ask him to slow down bc you have short legs

Tippytoing to kiss him 

innocent flirting that turns dirty really quick

he definitely likes being small spoon

he talks in his sleep

he has the most irrational fears in the world

“THAT TEXTURE IS SOOOO UGLY I CAN’T LOOK AT IT PLEASEEE”

doing something cute and HE’S JUST SO EASILY LIKE “I LOVE YOU”

always wants to slow dance with you to any song just so he can hold you and lead

he’ll whisper in your ear just to get you hot like fuck offffffffff

his skincare routine takes soo long to do he’ll be in the washroom for 30 minutes

“You’re such a kid”

“Are you a baby?” “YA YOUR BABY”

One of you will start singing and the other joins in but the boys are like shut the fuck uppppp

I feel like he’d like to play wrestle bc this man chooses violence every single time

he can do a perfect impression of you 

both of you will up the cheesiness when u notice that it’s making everyone else cringe just to make them cringe more

be prepared to kill the spiders 

also be prepared to watch scary movies with the lights on bc he is spooked!

Always saying “woooow” sarcastically when someone does something unimpressive

he is an attention whore so when you’re ignoring him he will do cartwheels🤸🏻‍♀️ and try to be funny

making him blush is so easy it’s like a superpower he just gets flustered 

Making a bad decision and saying “yolo ✌️😗”

[tinderboxofsillyideas]

ARTISTS! COMIC DUBBERS! ATTENTION, PLEASE!

I have a story for y'all and this story is not so bright and beautiful. I thought I would not talk about it in public, but I can't leave the situation like this, because it's important. I just have to do that, because I don't want people get in the same situation.

I will talk about you @undertalecomictv​. No offence.

One year ago I get a message from David - owner of "Undertale Comic TV” and "Sans Comic TV" on YouTube. He asked me about promotion and using my videos (animations and memes) on his channels. I had a terrible headache at that day and this offer was a little bit strange to me. I asked to clarify how it supposed to work and for some reasons I said "yes" at the end. That was a dumb decision, because I didn't realize what I'll get and why I even said yes. But I don't have any regrets, because I can say a lot of things now. This how our first dialogue looked like:

I have to mention – we DID NOT talk about comic dubs as well, I just made a suggestion like "It will be cool to see comic dubs from you in the future, but that's just a thoughts". We did not talk about any agreement, I just said it and that's all. After half of the year, I got a message with dub of one of my Kustard comics. I was happy to see it, because this dub was very cool and this was the first time when somebody made a dub for me. I was too happy and did not see what I missed. I just… enjoyed. They leaved a links on me in the description and in the video too, so that was totally fine and I shared this dub with my followers in both communities – foreign and Russian.

All was good, I got a couple of more dubs, and I loved them really much, but in one day I saw something what made me feel like "???".  I saw a video on SCTV with a frame from my animation (Bloom meme). It was used as a thumbnail, with erased reply from echo flowers. This video contained comic of my friend @nsfwgarbagedump​

The most important – there was a several pages what me and @hakkids has colored. In this video was no credits in description. Only nicknames of Crude and me (Hakki was not even included but we worked together on coloring and we're still making colors for the rest of the pages). I was confused, because frame from animation was cropped out of my video (I did not post this pic anywhere, I remember that). When I gave a permission to use my videos I did not think they will be used in this way. That's just not nice.

I saw a part two and there was my art again, but none of my content in the video. There was rest of b&w pages and I can't understand why my art was used for the thumbnail if there's none of my stuff in the video. They could use one of the pages or frames from comic for a thumbnail, but they used my stuff because it looks good? That's a clickbait, you know?

Crude had a conversation with them and after that they deleted their comic, both of the parts. I was sad about the fact they did not leave the credits on us like LINKS, because some of the people having a problems with searching artists, and that would be better to leave the links, not only nicknames:

I was too disappointed and had a thought about ask them to stop making dubs on my stuff. I messaged them with this offer, even if I loved their dubs before – there was no way out. I got an answer like this:

After that, I was confused a bit more. They made a dub of our modified Kustard before in one of the compilations. I was happy to see that at first, but Hakki told me one thing, which turned all the tables. They messed up with voices and some specific details, includes the fact they DID NOT asked about permission from Hakki about using Ras (modified Red) in the dubs. Yes, those comics was made by me, but Ras belongs to Hakki and I got a permission to use him in my stories, because hell – we are friends, so we allowed to use our boys in our comics.

If somebody giving you a permission to make comic dubs (but they did not get a permission from me on this either if we look at the situation a bit closer) you have to ask again before using Fan-Characters/Original Characters in dubs. They can have some specific differences and it's always better to ask. Much better to send SAMPLES too, because some people can be picky. If you don't want to make all those "difficult" stuff – just do not touch FC's and OC's. And ask ALL the artists if you want to make dubs with two (or more) characters which belongs to different people. The first one can say "yes, sure!" and the second one can be against it. Respect people! Ask them about their characters!

I asked to delete all the videos with our modified Kustard (or at least cut out the fragments with them), and when I told this was not only my desire, I got a message which made me super confused and angry at the same time. I got an excuse like "we worked so hard, give our permission to keep your videos". I was triggered about it, because I'm already told about the reasons why I asked to delete those videos.

I told about that again and said about I worked hard too, because that's true. Artists spend a lot of time when they working on one picture, so that's no need to talk about making comics or animations. So I had to ask to delete the modified Kustard, OR I'll ask to delete ALL my stuff from the channels. If they'll refuse – I'll strike them down. You can see my full answer below:

And who knows what I will get on my simple ask to delete only modifications…

I don't know, maybe I'm cruel piece of garbage or what, but I HATE when people use excuses like family and stuff. That's super lame and I can explain why I think in that way. You know, all of us have families, somebody has children too but people didn't use this fact as an excuse to make shit and break the rules. If you have a sweetheart and babies – how can you use them like this? It looks like you're only worrying about yourself, and did not want to pay attention to feeling of the artists which works you're using in dubs. I can understand all those things, because I have a family too, just like other artists do. I even have some ill people in my family and we have to pay big amounts to help them, plus bills, buying food, etc. BUT! I DID NOT use all this stuff for this kind of situations! I just continue to work and that's all!

That's the same situation like ask the artist to make you an art for free because you're poor little creature and you have no money to pay for your bills, clothes, etc. NOBODY have to work for free and nobody have to break the low to get something what they want! That's an awful shit, don't do that!

About monetization, huh? You know I don't like liars, I disrespect them, but I disrespect the greedy ones liars even more. My videos was monetized on those channels and NOBODY WARNED ME ABOUT THAT. I just got an excuse like "I asked some artists in the past and they was okay with monetization". Well duh? If one person said "yes" that doesn't mean you can just being a sly shit and don't ask people about monetization their content ever again. You HAVE TO ask artists about that! Somebody can be against it! This content is NOT YOURS, so that's terrible to make moneys on works of artists who probably get NOTHING for their works. Nothing but love and appreciation, and sometimes they even doesn't have this too. And that's sad.

I can understand you have to pay dubbers for their voices and work, David, but you had to ask about monetization anyway. That's just not cool. I don't know about people in your crew and I don't know are they even know about that, but I'm really disappointed. I can say thanks to Jordan Woollen for his voice. Btw – he's good in voice acting and I can be grateful to him for those minutes of happiness. I don’t think that is his fault.

If keeping of these channels is too hard for you – maybe you should find something what will fits you more? Something where you will not need to lie to people or making something like this. I dunno, maybe you can be a better person? Or you just like to make people feel bad or thinks about they're cruel with you… Who knows? You told my stuff has been deleted from your channels, but you didn't. Some of the videos are hidden, and I can see that because I have links. So why are you lying to me again? Just delete them, I'll not allow to bring them back. Because I can't trust you now.

Limited is not the same thing as deleted, my friend.

That was heartbreaking. I LOVED those dubs with all my soul and I couldn't even imagine all will end like this. I just disappointed and this story was broke me on a couple of days. But after I recovered myself, I decided to make this post. I just can't hold it in my soul anymore…

If I got a true apology with something like "yes, I understand how hard to be an artist and how much strength you spent to make arts and comics, so I'm sorry. It was my mistake that I did not tell you" maybe I could allow you to continue to make dubs. But you started to feed me with excuses about how hard that was for you. You totally forgot about my feelings. I don't have any hate to you, David. And I don't call people to hate you for what you've done. I just told them my story. Maybe you lied some of them as you done with me, and now they will decide what to do by themselves. But think about it and stop acting like this to people. Please.

Dear voice actors, I begging you – please, ask permissions before making dubs, talk with artists about all the issues. Ask them about monetization, about their characters, credits, etc. Please, respect their feelings and make a good things! I love dubs and I'm always want to support good dubbers, so don't play with feelings of people. We're doing are best to make a cool stories which you could dub. And some of us ready to pay you for this. Because you’re bring some good vibes with your dubs when you making them with love and desire.

Dear artists – be careful with some kind of offers. Talk with dubbers and ask them about everything. Do not be shy to make it, and if you don't like something – tell them about it before it's too late. Don't be such a softie like I was.

Guys, do not be a dicks, respect each other and try to become better on the next year. Artists, comic dubbers – y'all great while you respect the work of each other. We all have hard work, so be good people and don't lie to anybody. Thank you for your attention, Marry Chrysler and happy holidays!

[tuesdayscanons]

《 How I Run My Blog 》

Speed

《 If you take anything from this post, it's this—I either respond in ten seconds or ten years. There's a whole lotta factors: time, energy, interest, etc. Lately, I've been moving slower because my muse is all over the place and I've been burnt out by college, but the semester is about to end and I'm hoping my workload won't be as overwhelming from now on. 》

Replies

《 The length of my replies tend to vary, but I try to write multi-para responses (which can slow me down when I get carried away/overwhelmed. I'm also interested in fun little one line responses, which I'd most likely respond to quicker bc they're more casual. 》

Starters

《 I tend to post starter calls for the muses/AUs I'm the most interested in atm, though things can be delayed if my muse flops for any reason. Starters *might* be easier to write, though I have starters I owe which suggest otherwise. It also depends on what ideas I have—sometimes I have a gazillion ideas for interactions between muses and other times I get stuck bc I have no clue how to create a situation for two muses to have an excuse to interact. 》

Inbox

《 My inbox is open to anyone and to (almost) anything. You can send me random nonsense on anon for all I care, as long as it isn't overly vulgar or hostile. Don't get me wrong, you can still push my muses around (tbh I encourage it), but there's a point to where it stops being fun.

RP memes also don't expire on this blog. You can send me something from a post I reblogged over a year ago (though please specify if it's an emoji meme—there are emoji asks in purgatory bc I can't remember what meme it's from and have no clue how to respond).

The asks I'm most interested in tend to revolve around personal relationships or deep dives into my muses? Y'all can probably tell from what I usually reblog. OOC memes are also good when my muse is low, though I'd feel bad if I posted OOC too often. Y'all came for my muses, not to hear me ramble.

My speed tends to vary, though I usually find it easier to respond to ask memes than ic stuff. 》

Selectivity

《 I say that I'm semi-selective on my promos, though I'm generally open to writing with people. Most of it comes down to anxiety—I still try to reach out to people, but it makes my day when people reach out to me? Tbh, I'm constantly worried about bothering people and having people care enough to approach me is a huge deal. Sometimes I can be all over the place, but ideally, I'd like to open myself up to new partners. Depending on a handful of partners can be a huge issue down the line, especially knowing how I can be sometimes. 》

Wishlist

《 What I'm most interested in tends to shift, but I have a wishlist tag (creatively labeled "wishlist") if y'all want to check it out. Generally, I'm interested in exploring interpersonal relationships. Romance, rivalry, friendship, family, what have you. I tend to lean towards fluff or...Sour Patch Kids threads? I'm sure there's a better word out there to describe it, but basically angst/melodrama which leads to fluff. Sometimes I can do full on angst, though I don't do so as often because they're kinda a bummer. 》

Honest Notes

《 This goes for everything I've previously mentioned, but I have a tendency to hyperfixate. It could be a certain muse, a specific aspect/character dynamic, sometimes even specific mutuals as odd as that might seem. I don't intend to brush people off or play favorites, it's just that my attention and memory are both atrocious. 》

Random Side Notes

《 Related to the hyperfixation thing, there are times where I post a lot of art/headcanons to my oc blogs instead of actually writing ic stuff. I started out as an oc rper and I find it easier to write ocs (hence why Maddie has pretty much taken over this blog). Sometimes I'm able to write canon characters like I would ocs, though I don't think I could ever be more invested in a canon character than my ocs. They're my babies, y'know? I've also probably mentioned before that I don't watch a whole lot of shows because I spend most of my free time thinking about my ocs. That could have something to do with it...

Also—if y'all want to direct message me, I prefer Discord over Tumblr IMs. I'll still respond to Tumblr IMs, but Discord is better if y'all are looking to have regular/on-going OOC contact with me. Idk, it just feels more organized and personal? I check my Discord pretty much daily, so I'll probably respond quickly (if I don't forget to write back, that is...but I still don't think I'd leave you hanging for too long). 》

[hugsfromdad]

Hey kids,

How is everyone?

It's been a long time since I've done a check-in post and I've recently been feeling a real need to reconnect with all of you on here.

TLDR: my life is really busy and crazy and theater hasn't been good for me but I'm surviving. I miss y'all sm and want to hear from you. Whether it's anon, message, comment, or reblog. I have next to no freetime rn, but i really want to reconnect and am gonna try my best to be present on here more.💗

My life update: I've been so enjoying not being on instagram and just focusing on myself, healing and growing, and the few real relationships I have outside of social media. However, it's been hard cause I realized just how few close friends i actually have and the desperate need I have for friends who live nearby me. My two current best friends live 3.5 hours away, and in Colorado... So not someone i can hit up to have supper with and get a hug from when im having a tough day. And ive been having quite a few of those recently.

Joining theater has been...an experience. My mum has helped me to realize that i joined this production with expectations of making new friends.... Those expectations, as low as i thought they were, were wrong. It's like being in a ridiculously intense class with kids who already all know each other. It's not a clique, and I'm not being excluded, but it's like trying to break into a world where i dont even speak their language, and I'm still deciding if i really even want to.

I've been spending 3-4 days a week, 3hrs+ (sometimes 10hrs) per day with these people, for now 2 months--and I still dont know more than 3ish facts about the majority of them. A couple of them i have been able to get closer to-- but only because I found a time outside of practice hours to get to know them.

This has been really difficult for me. A lot about this situation is triggering for me and bringing me back to my bad years when I knew and spent time with a lot of people, but felt really alone and had no friends... So, it gets kind of scary when im already having a bad day and i go to practice. I have to be really careful and intentional of staying on the road when I drive home because my suicidalness kicks back in real strong...yeah, it's that bad. But I'm being careful and open with my mum and therapist about this all.

On good days, I kind of maybe consider doing this again. But in actuality... I dont want to. I'm not really having fun and I don't want to put myself through this again. I dont have a passion for this and I would need some really good, close (location-wise and friendship-wise) friends in my life, and in theater, to be able to enjoy doing this again.

So yeah... That's THAT whole situation. I'm counting the days til it's over... 20. Closing night is on my birthday... Best present I could get. I really just want to have my life back from this. And i hate that I'm good at it and so the people there assume im having fun and gonna want to do this again.. And, worst of all assumptions; that im carefree and happy-- lol.

So thats pretty unfortunate, but I'm at least getting another really good learning experience, and I cannot tell yall how fucking proud of myself i am for doing this. This is a big deal and I threw myself in the deep end and it turns out im actually good at swimming--even if I dont like it.

When it comes to my personal life (what's that?) It boils down to: I need friends. I'm trying to find people close in location to me... But, because my soul is currently owned by the theater, I cant do much at all. I am trying tho.

I tried a few dating apps... Oof. Ew no. I hate dating apps and I hated every moment on there. Not finding people really and its pretty sucky, but my therapist keeps reminding me that it's not me, it's my difficult situations throughout life that's kept me from finding people to date. There was one person I matched with who I was talking to for a bit, but then they havent replied to me for 2 days now, so im hoping everything is okay, but I'm kinda used to being ghosted at this point. Ill finding someone tho. Its gotta happen.

I'm pursuing my transition more-- hopefully I'll be starting testosterone soon and I'm looking into surgeons now and saving my money with a mindset towards top surgery within a year... We'll see. But its super exciting. My theater director (who is really bipolar and freaks me out some, but seems to adore me) put a stubble beard on me with makeup yesterday cause I had mentioned wanting a beard once i got on testosterone. It nearly made me cry and I couldnt stop smiling. I wore it home and hated taking it off before bed. I really really want a beard and im so fucking close, it's giving me strength.

My music and writing and painting and all other things have come to a screeching halt since starting theater, but i have a ton of inspiration that's built up over the past couple months that I'm super excited to unleash it the moment I'm free of this commitment. Im already working on a musical about this whole experience joining theater that I think would be really good. And I really want to finish my books and get them out there. We shall see what happens.

I love you all so much and my heart constantly goes out to you all and all of your experiences and struggles. I want to be here with you and laugh and cry, morn and celebrate together. Hopefully more of the good, tho.

Please feel free to reach out to me, even though I haven't been active at all on here. Message/anon me about your life, or questions, updates, celebrations, jokes, good pickup lines for me to use on my best friend as soon as his cruise is over and I can spam him again (holy shit I miss him so much @jamesboii please come home soon). Or like just reach out and say hello-- it might take me a day to reply, but i will.

Love y'all so much, sorry for this long blurp about my life. But i just wanted to post something and try to reconnect.

What do y'all want to see me posting? Im down to try new things. ✌

Sending hugs and love,

💕-dad

[starkerforlife6969]

REPLYING TO ANON MESSAGES 

This is another lengthy reply to all those lovely messages so I don’t spam you! Once again, no prompts filled here- they would be separate posts, so if you’re waiting on a fill, i promise it’ll come through eventually XD All you need to know is there will be a part 4 to the Mafia AU with Starker, Winterspider, Spidershield and Strange x Peter. It’ll be about two weeks but it is happening and I’ll let you all know! Keep sending me amazing ideas and being as gorgeous and wonderful as always. 

1) So um I was the person that randomly confessed to you the other day and I sent another ask to confirm that it was indeed you who I was massively crushing on and you were thinking it might be another blog,no it’s 100% you.Idk what tumblr did to that ask I feel like it disappeared but I just wanted to make sure that you know it was you bc how can you even doubt someone could be crushing on you I literally feel like Peter in every starker fic ever when he sees Tony whenever I see your username im-

Hello, gorgeous! Yes, I did get your other message but i’m so sorry I didn’t reply! It’s been so hectic and I’ve been travelling :(( but i am so flattered. I don’t know why because i am certain you could have anyone with how kind you are. You are the sweetest thing ever and you are such a darling I cannot even deal with it. You can message me whenever you like, or stay anonymous if you feel more comfortable <3, but there’s no need to be nervous, honeybee! IM NERVOUS because i can never ever live up to your adorableness hahaha. Stay as beautiful as I know you are! xxx 

2) @thebadthingshappen: I just wanted to say that your writing is really amazing and a great inspiration as someone who wants to start writing starker. I always look forward to your updates and appreciate the time and effort you put into everything. If you ever need someone to talk to or bounce ideas off of I’m here and my inbox is always open. :D

First, um, I love your username so hard. I read it entirely in Peter’s voice. Second, this is the sweetest thing ever oh my gosh. I ALWAYS WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO so I’d love to message you!!!! The next time I’m stuck for ideas i’ll come and spam you! Or you can message me whenever ;) x

3) ConstructionWorkerTony-anon here. Just... Thank you! 💕💕💕 that was great :)

NO THANK YOU. I’m so happy you liked it, because I know I added a bunch of kinks you didn’t ask for and I got worried but -yay!!!! 

4) @hunka-munka OMG I JUST FINISHED READING YOUR MAFIA STARKER FIC AND I AM IN LOOOOOOOVEEEEE omg omg I'm going through so many emotions 🙈first off I adooooooore how you wrote bucky I squealed in every scene he was in lol that ending for the 3rd part slaayyyyyed me are you planning on doing a 4th part??? I absolutely love the different dynamics between Peter and the rest of the characters it's so much fun to read about. Sorry for the long ask aaaaahhh i just needed to scream about it!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS MADE MY WHOLE DAY. Ahhhhhh, you are so sweet!!! I am planning a fourth part! It’s pretty much planned (and you will have more bucky, you precious bean) but it’s going to take a while to write cuz my classes start back up again :(( I’ll let you know when it’s out though! (should be about 2 weeks!) 

5) @hoe4parker I JUST READ THE THIRD PART OF THE MAFIA FIC W BUCKY AND STEVE AND TONY AS PETER’S DADDIES AND IT WAS SO SO SO GOOD

Yeah, I don’t deserve you, let’s be real. You guys are all so frickin kind I can’t even deal with it. 

6) Oh my god!!!!!! Mild social anxiety anon here to tell you that part 3 is amazing!!!!

*sobs with appreciation* honey!!!!! I can get mild social anxiety sometimes too, and you are so amazing and AHHHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, this put a huge smile on my face!!!! 

7) Ahhhh.... Part 3 was excellent!... I kind of wish Steve and Bucky had a thing and at some point they kiss (just a loving kiss... or fuck you know, whatever) and Peter see's it and gets sad or maybe he had a bad day and Tony's somewhere and he just wanted to get home and fuck or cuddle one of them and then he see's that and he's jealous. That'd be fun. I'm such a sucker for angst and conflict... and hate-fucking. Great stuff xd Seriously, I love this series though... -🦊

Honey, I’m sorry I’m answering this in this section because that means it won’t get filled :(( but that’s only because I’ll ship peter with everyone, and even though i think steve and bucky is the cutest thing ever, I just don’t write them very well :(( IM SORRY HONEY that being said, i love angst and conflict too, so maybe there’ll be some more of that sometime!!!! thank you so much foxy, for your lovely comments seriously, they made me so happy. 

8) The Mafia Boss Tony Part 3 was stunning and for some reason the very end was funny to me... I think it's cause I have PTSD and still get panic attacks and occasionally pass out from them but they're acting like he died. And my head is just like 'Guys. Calm the fuck down. Put some actual clothing on the kid so he's warm enough. Lie him down. Yes, have someone in there to check his breathing. He's gonna be a little disoriented... but he's not dead guys... calm the hell down'. It's brilliant XD

Dude, I died laughing XD I get panic attacks sometimes (very mild and no ptsd, but you do and ahhhh I was so scared you were gonna say I messed it up but you didn’t and you’re so sweet!!! And honey, I’m sorry you have them :( but i know you’re strong and amazing <3) and they do overreact so much but it’s like my god awful attempt at drama hahaha, thank you so much for this comment, it honestly made me so happy. 

9) Is there going to be a fourth mafia au? I’m in love with the ones have posted ❤️❤️ 

YES THERE WILL BE BECAUSE LOVELY PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE SO ENCOURAGING 

10) MAFIA PART 3 OH MY GOD im :(( abt peter like i want my babey safe and feelin good awh ((also i love your writing sm ur so good))

seriously. I don’t deserve you. you guys are all gonna get such good karma with all the positivity you put out into the world. I’m so happy you enjoyed it! x PS, Peter will be feeling good, hahaha, he’s gonna get spoilt rotten by everyone. 

10)  @aggressively-precious AYE part two of your mafia AU is a goddamn GIFT you're my hero xo

YOU are a gift, seriously. thank you for existing and bringing joy into my life. 

11) this fandom is full of talented and sweet people, I'm so thankful for having y'all really. have a nice day love ❤

*sobs* it really is! thank YOOUUUU 

[starsmuserainbow]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG/S.

speed. I do my best to answer at a fast time, although in the recent times it has turned into like a week reply-time, at times. I can do faster sometimes too, but before a week, there's no need to check if I got it (unless your reply isn't listed when I do my "to-owe" list).

replies. I more or less do them in the order that I get them back. I try to make it so I always write one thing on Star here, and one from any of my sideblogs in alternating, though, because recently I just had too many Star things and way too few things anywhere else going on. As of writing this, I have more things for my sideblogs that I "owe" than things on Star, but I'll probably still try to stick to this alternating of replies, for now. Also, when it comes to be that both replies (one from the sideblogs, and one from here) would be from the same person, I often change the order to pick something else into today's mix, because I feel like alternating it a little is better.

I usually operate my posting of replies without a queue, I just post something usually on the day that I finished writing it (that is, as long as I have 2 replies done). I'd say something about length too, but outside of that I simply can't do one-liners, I'm fine with pretty much any length I think.

starters. I have some open starters on each of my blogs, if that is what this point is about. Most of my open starters never get replies or not continued long though, so I kinda am doing new ones less and less these days. Writing starters for others, usually only happens after I make a call or if we discuss something. I'm more likely to send things than to write a starter out of nowhere, and I'm very very bad at sending things so that speaks volumes about just how rare it is that I'd write a starter without you knowing so beforehand.

inbox. I admit I had to delete some things from the inbox recently. I still welcome any and all asks though, be they random or from memes or whatever, anon or not. I'm sorry in advance if I will end up deleting your thing though - when you didn't send it on anon though, I'll usually message you that I have to delete the thing and/or why I have to.

honest note. I've said it before, I'm kinda struggling with Starfire at the moment. I feel like ever since I did a few things (reblog memes on here less often, keep my alternating of replies, try to be more approaching of others with the suggestion of my sideblogs) to "fix it", it's become better; I think it's just a matter of oversaturation of Star things and me growing grumpy over the fact that my other muses get neglected. I know that that's no one's fault really, I wouldn't want any of you to force interactions with characters of mine that you may not be interested in, but it still is a feeling I have. That said, here's a link to that overview of my blogs, if you do have interest I'd appreciate knowing that (by telling me, or simply, like, following that sideblog of mine or sth), and if not, that's okay too. I should've done a mainblog-multi instead of all these sideblogs, anyway.

Another thing I maybe should admit to, I do tend to default to the thought of "well they followed me first, so they should do the first step (aka sending sth in, IMing, whatever)" where it's applicable - I shouldn't think that way and I do what I can to ignore that thought and at times try to actively reach out ("do the first step") to counter thinking that way, but, I figured it's probably something I should mention.

Outside of this, I don't really know what to say.

I'm very thankful to have the wonderful amazing RP-partners that I have, and I look forward to having more fun with y'all.

[vanilla107]

I thought we were best friends (Part 2)

Hey everyone! When I posted the first chapter of this fanfiction, I didn't expect to get so much feedback in one day! For everyone who commented, you seriously made my day <3 Like I always say, comments make we write faster and motivate me, so...y'all know what to do if you want the third chapter out asap! ;) I'm also planning to release a different Catradora fanfiction soon, so be on the look out! (I know it sounds like a terrible idea because I'll be writing two different Catadora stories at once but...I DON'T CAREEE).

Stay healthy! vanilla107 xoxo

Part 1

She ra Masterlist

Catra woke up slowly, the sun peeking through her curtains. She rolled over and checked her phone to see what time it was and she cursed.

It was 9:00 in the morning.

She never woke up so early and she blamed it on how early she had left the party last night.

Last night.

All at once, the memories of the night before hit her and she clenched her sheets to keep herself from breaking down again.

“Breathe Catra. You’ll...you’ll get through this,” she whispered as she picked up her phone, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after getting a shock to the system.

She unlocked her phone and her breath caught in her throat.

13 missed calls from Adora.

She wanted to scream and cry. Was this a joke to Adora? Was she trying to mess with her feelings?

“Catra, don’t be stupid! Adora would never do that to you…” she whispered and opened up her text messages.

She had 34 messages.

Entrapta @ 10:00 pm Hey Catra, I hope you’re okay <3

Entrapta @ 10:00 pm If you ever need anything from me, just let me know

Entrapta @ 10:02 pm I’m sorry you’re in so much pain...

Entrapta @ 10:07 pm Do you mind if I study your emotional behaviour? I find it fascinating!

Catra rolled her eyes but felt a rare warmth grow from her chest. She knew that Entrapta has trouble expressing her emotions sometimes because she was so caught up in her science experiments and robots, but it was nice to see the rare Entrapta who cared about her friends. She replied with a black heart emoji and went into Scorpia’s messages.

Scorpia @ 10:05 pm Hey feline. Remember you have us, okay? We love you.

Scorpia @ 10:06 pm I’ll buy your favourite foods and we can have a movie day tomorrow, sound good?

Scorpia @ 10:07 pm I have taken Entrapta’s phone because she will probably ask you questions about your emotional state and we do not need that right now!

Scorpia @ 10:10 pm THIS GIRL’S HAIR IS TRYING TO GET HER PHONE BACK AND IT’S KILLING ME

Catra chuckled and scrolled through the rest of Scorpia’s messages, mostly telling her what movies she planned to get and snacks. She scrolled down and her heart stopped.

She had messages from Adora and 2 unknown numbers.

Okay Catra, read Adora’s messages first. Rip off the band-aid. She took a breath and opened it.

Adora @ 9:10 pm Catra, are you okay? I’m worried about you.

Adora @ 9:10 pm Please message me so that I know you’re okay.

Adora @ 9:20 pm Even though we broke up it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you…

Adora @ 9:21 pm I still want to talk to you about...us. Glimmer interrupted us last night and she feels really bad.

Adora @ 9:23 pm Do you want to meet up for coffee sometime this week to discuss everything?

Catra breathed a sigh of relief when she read the last message.

At least she hadn’t asked if we could ‘still be friends’ through a message. That would’ve sucked. But then again, Adora did always prefer talking face to face.

Catra thought about her response, because if there was one thing Adora hated more than anything, was her messages being read and then no reply.

“Wait? What am I doing? Why should I be nice when Adora freaking ripped my heart out last night? Maybe I should leave it...I don’t want to send an angry message and drive this thing into a trench” Catra sighed and she decided she would reply to Adora’s messages when she felt calmer.

She then read the first unknown number’s messages.

Unknown @ 9:31 pm Hey Catra. It’s Glimmer...I just wanted to apologize for last night. I disturbed you and Adora and I swear I didn’t know that you were the ex-girlfriend.

Wait what? The ex-girlfriend? Is that what Adora is seriously saying? Catra clenched her jaw and saw she still had a few more messages from Glimmer.

Unknown @ 9:32 pm Catra...I think it’s best that you know that...she’s really hurt. Adora deserves the world and you two need to sort out your relationship once and for all.

Catra let out a bitter laugh.

“Is this girl seriously trying to give me relationship advice? She doesn’t even know what I’m going through yet she has the audacity to say that?” Catra rolled her eyes.

Catra saved Glimmer’s number and continued to read her messages.

Glimmer @ 9:34 pm If you won’t sort out your problems with Adora then I will. I will be forced to intervene and help Adora myself. I can’t understand how you could go on knowing how much you hurt her.

Catra felt anger in her veins. “Is she….is she threatening to take Adora away from me? She doesn’t even know the whole freaking story!”

She felt a new found dislike simmer for the girl inside her. Glimmer had met her last night had one conversation with her. She was making assumptions on one meeting. Catra let out a growl in annoyance.

“How could she be Angella’s daughter? She doesn’t seem to think rationally!”

She swung out of her bed and stomped to the kitchen were Scorpia was already making breakfast. Entrapta was sitting at their table, playing a game on her phone, while the scent of pancakes wafted through the air.

“Mornin’ Kitty, I hope you had a good-”

Scorpia stopped when Catra angrily slammed the bathroom door and Entrapta looked at her with worry.

“I thought you said she would be better? Why isn’t she in a better mood?” Entrapta said looking at the bathroom door the cogs in her head trying to figure out what was going on.

“I...I don’t know,” sighed Scorpia, as she flipped a pancake. “We can try to talk to her later...just be gentle with her, okay?”

In the bathroom, Catra opened the last unknown message, hoping to just get on with her day.

Unknown @ 12:00 am So…you and Adora broke up?

Catra looked at the message in confusion. Who sent her this? She didn’t recognise the number at all.

Unknown @ 12:05 You may have left me but I still keep a very close eye on you, Catra. I told you that you’d never been good enough for Adora.

I told you that you’d never been good enough for Adora.

Catra’s hands were shaking and she dropped her phone on the tiled floor. She could almost hear that voice in her head.

How? How did she get my number? She should not be able to contact me!

Catra stripped off her pajamas and hurriedly switched on the shower and hoped the hot water would somehow help ease the rising panic in her body.

But when she tasted her tears, she knew that it was not going to be a good day at all.

********************************

Catra swallowed the popcorn uneasily, the buttery taste only making her want to throw up. It was a few hours after she had received those messages and she was still spooked.

She was curled up in the middle of Scorpia and Entrapta and they were watching action movies, her favourite. Kill Bill was on and as Catra watched Uma Thurman slice a man’s head off, she breathed out slowly and felt the tears slide down her cheeks.

She felt Scorpia wrap her pincer arm around her and she let out gut-wrenching sobs.

“We got you kitty,” Scorpia murmured and Entrapta’s hair wrapped around them both. She shook with every breath and they were silent.

“Okay, I don’t know about you but I think we need some fresh air,” said Scorpia and Entrapta nodded.

“Research shows that fresh air and a nice walk help the body rejuvenate and release endorphins!” said the scientist happily and she immediately cleared their snack table and went to the kitchen to wash up.

“Really Catra, I think this will do you some good and what’s the probability of us bumping into Adora?”

“Zero...she usually has yoga on a Saturday afternoon. She probably invited Glimmer to go with her,” she hissed bitterly and Scorpia raised her eyebrow in confusion.

“Glimmer? Who’s that?” asked Entrapta as she sat down on the couch.

Catra sighed and repeated the events from the night before as well as Adora’s ‘ex-girlfriend’ conversation. She felt her vision swim with tears when she explained the crushing memory and buried her face into her knees.

“Does...does she not remember that conversation at all? How she always wanted to be friends with her exes? Why am I suddenly the ex-girlfriend? What did I do? I never cheated on her or did anything seriously wrong. I know for a fact that Adora had worse partners before we started dating but why…?”

Catra was already tired and she deflated into the couch.

“It doesn’t help that Glimmer practically threatened me this morning…” she mumbled and gave Scorpia her phone to see the messages from Glimmer.

“Wow...she sounds like fun,” Scorpia said sarcastically and Catra snorted.

“That’s the thing though. She’s already judging me and acts like she’s been Adora’s friend her whole life when she literally popped out of nowhere!” Catra felt the same anger from this morning rush through her

“Catra, are you jealous that Glimmer might steal Adora from you?” asked Entrapta and Scorpia glared at her.

“What? We need to know this!” said Entrapta with reason. “If Catra is jealous then maybe Adora is trying to get you back by ‘fake dating’ Glimmer or trying to make it look like she's with someone else! Or maybe Glimmer is a rebound?”

Catra stared at Entrapta and Scorpia hoped that Catra wasn’t going to claw Entrapta right then and there.

“No...Adora...she wouldn’t do that to me...she’d never do something to hurt me like that…right?” Catra became quiet and Scorpia stood up suddenly.

“Okay, let’s go for that walk!”

****************************

Fifteen minutes later, the three of them were walking through the communal park, the sun shining brightly and bursts of laughter could be heard from the children playing in the playground. Catra strugged off her hoodie and gazed at the sun through her dark sunglasses.

“It’s so warm today!” squealed Entrapta as she took out her recorder. “I wonder if it will affect the plants if it suddenly had to rain tomorrow?”

Scorpia pointed to an ice-cream truck that had just parked in their direction.

“Ice-cream on me!” yelled Scorpia and they walked to the truck.

Catra got her vegan chocolate ice-cream since she was lactose intolerant, Entrapta got black cherry and Scorpia got strawberry. They continued their walk and Entrapta and Scorpia looked at each other with worry. Catra hadn’t said a word since they left the apartment.

“Hey, I have some bread crumbs that we can feed the ducks! Let’s go!” said Scorpia in a desperate attempt to get their feline friend out of her funk.

“Ohhhh...I can watch survival of the fittest in front of my very eyes!” shrieked Entrapta as she took off to the pond with her notebook in her hand.

“It’s okay, Scorpia...I...I think I’m going to find a bench and eat my ice-cream. Don’t worry about me, okay? I know I’m not being the greatest friend right now but I...I need to be alone...”

Scorpia sighed and nodded.

“Okay, but if there’s anything you need help with, just call me.”

Catra gave her a rare smile and walked away.

*************************

Catra found a shady bench and sat down, enjoying the brief reprieve from the beating sun. She wasn’t a huge fan of hot sunny days since it was difficult for her to get cool. Her fur didn’t help either and she always had to wear shorts and crop tops to get rid of the excess heat. She looked down at her blue cropped top and shorts.

It’s not that she didn’t like wearing them, it’s that a lot of catcalling tended to happen to her especially when she was wearing shorts and crop tops. Being an actual cat humanoid didn’t help either and she knew she couldn’t sucker punch the catcallers because when she did that once, she nearly beat the guy to a pulp. Thankfully, Adora was there and she stopped it from happening.

She ate her ice cream and smiled sadly.

I wish I could be happy with Scorpia and Entrapta. They're my friends and they’re trying so hard to make me happy.

She closed her eyes and listened to the sounds around her, her ears flickering to a new sound each time. She tried to relax and slowly felt herself letting her guard down and unwinding from the vision of everyone.

Being alone helped. Catra had been alone for most of her life anyway, and being an orphan wasn’t fun. Adora was the only light in her life in her darkest periods and she wished that things could’ve been simpler for them-

“Hello? Catra?”

A voice woke Catra from her thoughts and she inwardly groaned.

Why was it so hard to be alone for just a few minutes?

She opened her eyes and clenched her jaw when she saw Glimmer standing in front of her.

“What do you want?” Catra growled, venom dripping off of her tone.

Glimmer’s eyes widened and she glared at the feline.

“What I want is to talk to you about Adora.”

Catra let out a humourless laugh.

“Oh? You want to talk to me about my ex-girlfriend? How I hurt her when the only one who seems to be hurting is me? How I seemingly don’t care?Well how about this, you stay out of my business and stop claiming like you know Adora and our relationship when you barely know her and me.”

Glimmer was visibly angry, her hands clenched into fists.

“Well I wouldn’t have to intervene if you just spoke to her! Do you have any idea how much Adora has cried over you? I’ve lived with Adora for the past two weeks and I think I know her better than you do!”

Catra snapped and she didn’t hold back. She didn’t care how harsh her words were going to be, she just needed to put this little insect in her place and not bother her anymore.

“And how am I supposed to do that when you, an annoying little mosquito, keeps hovering around? Honestly, Glimmer I was going to give you a chance because you seemed nice but your messages this morning really changed my mind. Are you trying to steal Adora from me when she’s the only person that has ever been there for me since we were kids? Because that’s what it looks like. And you? Know more about Adora than me? Don’t make me laugh.”

Catra was breathing heavily and Glimmer looked angry but also looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“Adora was the only one looking out for me when we were younger. I don’t think you realise how deep the pain we’re feeling goes. You need to back off and let us sort out the problem. This is between me and her. Not you. Once we sort out this thing between us, I’ll be out of your life and you can have her for yourself since you want to be with her so badly.”

“I do not want to be with Adora!” Glimmer hissed but her red cheeks gave it away.

“Oh really? You think I didn't notice how long you stared at her last night? I know you like her, Glimmer. Don’t deny it,” Catra purred, a smirk forming on her face.

“I...I-” Glimmer began but then her eyes widened and Catra spun around to see Adora, standing there in her yoga tights, yoga mat and tank top, frozen in shock.

Catra gave Glimmer a poisonous smile.

“Oh look, your girlfriend is here to protect you. Guess I’ll leave now.”

Catra walked away, her body warm with rage. She turned at a corner but stopped when she felt a hand on her forearm.

“Catra, what’s going on?” the familiar voice like honey asked, concern evident.

Catra felt her heart squeeze. She loved how Adora said her name.

“I’m leaving you two lovebirds alone. Now let me go,” Catra said sharply but Adora didn’t let go of her.

“No! I don’t understand! Why are you so angry with Glimmer? What did she do to you?” Adora demanded.

“It’s not just Glimmer!” Catra said harshly and spun around to face Adora.

“It’s you. Glimmer claims that you’ve cried over me. Well guess what? I’ve cried every single day over you. Last night was the first time that I left the house in two weeks and that’s because Scorpia dragged me to Perfuma’s party. I didn’t want to be there because I knew you were going to be there.”

Adora looked hurt and Catra continued.

“You always said that you liked being on good terms with your exes. So what makes me. so. damn. special. that I get called the ex-girlfriend huh? Do you not remember the conversation we had at all?”

There was silence between them and Catra sighed. She needed to leave before anything else was said to hurt either of them. She looked into Adora's clear blue eyes and clenched her hands into fists to avoid her from grabbing Adora and begging her for them to be together again.

“Bye, Adora,” Catra whispered and she walked away.

[smuttyfairy]

Smuttyfairy Survey Response

Hello there! Jaefairy here! Thank you everyone who took the survey. There were about 140 of your guys and wow, the results were pretty interesting! :D We learn a lot about you guys! We also heard your suggestions and concerns! I hand picked a few to address and we took the time to answer some of them!

😱Concerns and Solutions😱

❓ “There are many good writers who write OH HOW TF DO THEY EVEN DO THAT kind of writers out there whose stories are being left unheard except for some people bcs they're not really doing promotions/reblogging whatever. Its the same kind of feels of HEYYY this new boygroup needs to have more attention ya know what i mean??” Response: If you guys want your favorite writers on the blog just suggest them to us! Well check them out and probably add them to the masterlists! (Admin Kook) ❓”I'm just slightly confused about Wangfairy's situation. Because it says she is inactive, but she still answers asks and stuff, so I'm confuzzled.” Response: Wangfairy (Now Hopefairy) is inactive as a writer, hence why her stories are placed under inactive in the masterlist! Hopefairy is active on the blog still as a masterlist updater alongside Smuttyfairy. (Admin Jaefairy) ❓“Sometimes there are a little bit to much interactions with followers Witch is both fu per fun to read but some times a little anoying” “When y'all answer a bunch of questions one after another individually it kind of blows up my notifications” Response: Then you should probably turn off the notifications for us lol (Admin Gil) Response #2: The best thing I can tell you to do about this is to blacklist our tags: “fic answer”, “fic question”, and “anonymous” to avoid all of that (Admin Sf) ❓ “Sometimes I try to click on links and they break either because authors choose new usernames or move blogs or what not.” “Some of the links in the compiled master list don't work😭” Response: Just let us know via message or ask and we will rectify the broken link as soon as possible! (Admin Jaefairy) ❓“Can be hard to navigate in cases of finding the answer to lost fics” Response: We’ve implemented new tags recently to help you look for your fics easier! If you check the #fic answers tag you will find the answers to the fics found so far! :) (Admin Jaefairy)

Reponse #2: Newer tags will have the type of AU and what keywords were asked about for a particular fic. To look at these tags specifically you can search manually by smuttyfairy.tumblr.com/tagged/vampire!au and/or smuttyfairy.tumblr.com/tagged/vampire!bts and etc (Admin Sf)

  ❓“Drama among haters and admins” Response: There will be drama wherever you go, we can’t exactly turn off the drama or tell people not to send in hate. We listen and if it’s a legit reason to be upset we try our best to rectify. Most drama on the blog lasts an hour or two anyways so. O: (Admin Jaefairy) ❓“The dirty talk anons aren't great but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” Response: This isn’t much of an issue anymore since we usually don’t get dirty asks unless It’s a designated Hoe Night! During those times we let you guys know when it is so if that isn’t your thing, you can turn off your notifications or keep away from the blog for a bit. (Admin Jaefairy) ❓“All the admins are so young but I still read.” Response: Actually, the only Admin that is underage still is Xiu at 17. We rest are of age o.o. (Admin Jaefairy) ❓“I keep missing hoe nights...so hhh” Response: In the near future I’m gonna try and plan Hoe Nights a day ahead so that way everyone has a heads up! please be patient with me and gil! Also if you do miss hoe night and wanna catch up, smutty made the suggestion to tag all hoe night posts #Hoe Night. So you can always check out that tag for past fun. (Admin Jaefairy) ❓“Could maybe Write more fluff but again it is Smutty fairy lol” Response: Hopefairy was actually in charge of most of the fluff lol and all the admins prefer angst but I'll work on more fluff scenarios for you guys :D (Admin Gil)

🤔 Improvement and Solutions 🤔

❗️ ”Keep fic recs up-to-date”

”Maybe you could update more often the compiled scenarios”  ”Updated masterlists” ”Update the masterlist whenever you all get the chance, and I think that's all because you all are doing a great job with the blog.” ”Like the question above. Improvements, in my opinion, maybe maintaining links and checking ever so often if they are still active or not. I know this happens in the EXO section a lot”

Response: Most of these can be explained in our FAQs page but I’ll reiterate again here. Updating fic recs are A LOT of work. With just me and Admin Hopefairy it’s really difficult to work on updating links and compiling them as we do have our own lives outside of the blog to worry about as well. Compiling links from 1-2 blogs usually takes about 15-30m depending how much work there is and organizing and formatting the fics takes even longer usually 30m-an hour. We really try our best to work hard on this so we’re sorry it takes us so long to do them, but eventually it gets done. (Admin SF)

❗️ ”XIUFAIRY CAN STOP KILLING US WITH SAD ENDINGS” Response: I wouldn't say my endings are...sad...okay that's a lie but there's a reason they're sad :p I'm a realistic writer and not a lot of writers take a realistic edge (in many fanfics). I personally don't like fics that are happy from day one to the end because that's just...not how life is I guess. I tend to make real things happen at the worst times because that's really where they happen!! Most of my stories have moral lessons and/or lessons on what life can do to a person both singularly and in a relationship. (Admin Xiufairy) ❗️ “Make a schedule? Each day of the week for special themes. E.g. hoe night at Friday night, fics ask on Tuesdays, fics updates everyday lol” Response: This is a good idea! The problem with that is we all have different schedules. I may be available one friday, but the next friday I couldn’t be. We do ask that you guys bear with us and be patient with things like fic asks, updates or hoe nights. We have a lot going on, and we try our best to squeeze you guys in. o: (Admin Jaefairy) ❗️ ”more specific tags maybe? for answered question regarding sexuality, etc. ” Response:  We have About the admin pages that answer questions of that nature. Check our navigation page for more! (Admin Jaefairy)

❗️ ”You guys should start doing reactions and stuff!!” Response: I actually started doing reactions recently c: I’m working on finishing a group of them before I post them so you guys have a few to look at but I am working on them at this moment. Requests for reactions closed a week or so ago, but I will open it up again in the fall. (Admin Jaefairy) ❗️ ”To make things more better.. (though its not needed) I want you to open up the reactions or MTLs frequent. so that the followers and viewers keep getting updates about the blog and also new stuffs! But am a hoe tbh.” Response: (See answer above about reactions) We leave MTLs for hoe nights to not blow up the feed for all followers except on designated days. (Admin Jaefairy) ❗️  ”Maybe answers ones that pertain to the same subject on the same ask more often; like putting fic praise all together ” Response: We do this sometimes but we will work on being more adamant with it now. Thank you for the suggestion! (Admin Jae) ❗️ ”Let your followers vote on who they want in future fanfics etc” Response: I have been thinking about this since I have a few story Ideas I’d like to write but i’m not sure what would be wanted more. We will keep this in consideration and you will see something in the near future! (Admin Jaefairy) ❗️ ”Maaaybe more angsts?” ”More Fluffy Stories or Angst”  ”please post more angsty series please please please” Response: I do have an idea in mind if you guys wanted me to try *thinks* (Admin Kook) Response #2: I personally have started reformatting personal angst to share with you guys, but I will be working on less smut and more angst and fluff as the year goes on. (Admin Jaefairy) ❗️ ”More fanfiction and maybe some personal posts from admins” Response:  We do post some personal stuff when it happens from time to time, check out some under our personal tags (”About admin smuttyfairy”, etc.) I know all the writers on the blog are cooking up some news things, so look forward to them! (Admin Jaefairy)   ❗️ “you guys are great and give good advice, i'd say just delete the negative asks like that are repetitive, i don't mean it in a bad way, just like if they all shit on x admin for example, address it once then delete the rest. however since smutty said she'd just block the ip i think that also helped solve the problem” ”Don't let the assholes get to you. Delete without reply. ” Response: Say no more fam (Admin Gil) Response #2: I’m in the same boat as Gil. Whenever I see hate towards another anon in the inbox I instantly delete it, but sometimes as humans, it’s hard. We all get hurt and we want to lash out. I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying that we should delete all hate. Some hate does need to be addressed, as it’s a concern, but just worded ignorantly. I will say that we delete most hate, but if we feel compelled to answer it, we will. (Admin Jaefairy) ❗️ ”Add more information on streams/activities, individual admins so we can get to know everyone better and new people to the blog can learn about everyone” Response: We already do have an 'About the admins’ page where we share some of our favorite things but if you guys want to know more about us, just ask! As long as it wasn't answered in our FAQ’s we'd be happy to answer it. (Admin Gil) ❗️  ”well, i don't exactly like the music player since i always have my own music already playing, but it's really your choice so you don't have to listen to that lmao. and there are a looot of asks on your blog, but again - that's just people being interested in your blog so ^^” Response: Perhaps we’ll have a survey on the playlist to see who’d like to keep it on autoplay or off. (Admin Sf)

❗️  ”Maybe do more groups instead of bts” Response: Well for the most part all of the admins don't write for only bts. Xiu has exo, got7, and blackpink scenarios. Jae/Gil have written a Jay park scenario and Jae’s even working on a svt fic. All the admins are multifandom but sometimes we get ideas and it's like “hey I can see this fic working with a bts member instead of another group member” you get me? We're working on providing more multifandom content as we speak so please be patient with us. (Admin Gil)

😉What to expect from us in the future 😉

You told us what you would like to see and we addressed the top three requested! Q&As: We’re working on doing a Q&A night for 15k, stay tuned!! Live Streams: Smuttyfairy has recently started concert live streams and Admin Kookfairy and Jaefairy do streams every so often. Keep your eyes open for an announcement as we usually give you guys heads up before we start one! Ships: Ships will be added to hoe nights! When Admin Jae announces Hoe Night, he will let everyone know if he and gil are doing ships that night! :)

And that’s all folks! Thank you for the input and I hope we can be the best we can for you 💜 - Admin Jaefairy

[lovelydeceitff]

Chapter 1:

**disclaimer: the majority of this story will be from Shay’s POV (It’s my first story idk if I can handle so many POVs lol). Eventually, when needed, I may add POVs from other characters… okay bye, happy reading (;

I’m gonna say the right thing at the right time at the right place.. and you won’t know what to do..

Shay

Being at school 2 weeks early is the worst thing ever when your friends are not there yet. I have a love - hate relationship with being a LEAP counselor. LEAP is a program that my university puts on for students to build skills that will make them successful throughout their college career. I’m here early to train on how to be effective. Think of it as being an RA (resident assistant). Yep. I have to deal with immature freshmen on the regular. I’m just there as a mentor primarily, but me being me I’m gonna end up a good friend of theirs too. That’s fine with me though long as they aren’t too childish. I’m entering my junior year and I definitely don’t want to be annoyed by childish people.

It wouldn’t be too bad if I didn’t have to be here on my birthday. ITS SATURDAY, MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND and here I am with my one friend, Raven, on campus trying to figure out a move. My actual birthday is on Thursday so I’m celebrating this weekend and next. I’m turning 20. My second decade on earth. I need to be lit. Okay I’m over exaggerating, I have a few friends here but they live off campus. I don’t; I stay in the dorms so I’m lonely if not with Raven. She’s also here early due to being a leap counselor.

I opened up my Twitter and my DMs was first to pop up on my screen for whatever weird reason and my friend Chris’s name was there from old messages of ours. I then remembered that we were supposed to link up when I got back in town. I know he would have something to do so I decided to text him.

See, Chris is one of the coolest guys at my school. A lot of people know him and a lot of people love him. He has a great personality and people usually flock to him. Surprisingly, he’s really to himself. I mean he has a lot of friends. Like actual friends. He parties a lot. But he’s a typical guy - lays low when needed. He also sells weed so, that alone makes him known. He isn’t in a fraternity, nor any other organizations. He built his name based off his personality alone.

7:48pm Shay: CHRIIISSS! What’s up? I’m out here. Let’s hang.

I continued to scroll through Twitter, just to see if anybody posted anything that I could attend. I went back to Chris and I’s DMs because I know they’d make me laugh. He is a flirt and our DMs show that. He slowed down with the flirting after I reminded him that I had a boyfriend. Now he just asks how my relationship is going or just checks up on me if we haven’t talked in a while. If you asked anybody else, Chris likes me. But if you ask me, he doesn’t. Chris and I had a short lived past. When I first got to college, I met him. We started talking up until I got serious with Keith, my boyfriend. We were in a party, I was super drunk and I told him we couldn’t talk on that level anymore. It was so Funny because my drunk self told him it saddened me to leave him alone. It all worked out in the end. We remained friends. Distant friends actually. 8:12pm Chris: What! Shay’s back? Bet. I’m supposed to chill with some friends in a few. I’ll text you the address soon.

Soon to Chris could mean hours… or never.

8:13pm Shai: Okay. Please don’t forget.

8:15pm Chris: I won’t.

“Rae, we got a move! Chris said he’s gonna text me the address of a kickback in a minute.” I yelled out to raven as she sits in my bathroom fixing her hair.

“So, should we get like dressed dressed orrrr?” She asked me.

“Honestly, I have no clue. I think I’m gonna get slightly cute. I think shorts and a nice top or jeans would be cool” I told her.

I went to my closet and attempted to find something to wear. Of course I struggled. It literally took my an hour just to find something I liked. I decided on ripped jeans and a white body suit.

————

I knew it. Chris never texted me the address, if I wasn’t so desperate to turn up I’d just chill in my room with Raven. Ya know, play monopoly or some shit. But nah. I can’t not turn up so I’m gonna call Chris because I’m just about fed up. I hate waiting. Chris is literally the worst texter in texting history.

“Chris wtf, you forgot about me huh?” I said as he answered. “Shay….. chill. I just got here. I didn’t forget. I told you we were gonna hang so we are. I’m about to text you the address, you can come right now.” He replied.

“Alright. Is it far from campus? And I’m with Raven” I said to Chris as my other line started to ring. It was Deja, my other friend who lives off campus. “Hey, hold on REALLY Quick Chris! Hello, Deja?”

“What’s up girl? What you got planned tonight?”

“Chris is about to send me an address now to a kickback. He’s actually on my other line right now” I said to her.

“Okay. I wanna go. I’m with Marvin tho” she said back to me. I immediately rolled my eyes. Marvin is her annoying ass boyfriend. We’re not even gonna get into him right now though.

“Alright bet, I’ll text you the address once I get it. Gotta go Deja, see you in a few.” I clicked over to the other line “hello? My bad. Deja wants to know if her and Marvin can come out”

“That’s fine, just let them know it’s not a party. I know y'all like to juke and shit” he laughed.

“Whatever. I haven’t juked in forever. Text me the address bye” I hung up as I laughed. He’s so annoying.

I texted Deja the address and luckily she lived by the house so I didn’t have to get her. It’s now close to 10:30 so I texted Keith goodnight. I haven’t really talked to him today. Or lately at all. We’ve been very dry in our conversation. I made sure to send a sweet text just so he can sleep with a smile on his face. I love him.

As I arrived to the house, Chris and his friends were sitting on the porch. I approached him and he greeted me with a long, long, tight hug. It was a great hug actually. I haven’t seen him in forever so I guess it was a hug for lost time. He then hugged Raven and Deja and dapped up Marvin. Their greeting wasn’t nearly as long as mine. He hasn’t seen either of them in a while also. He told us we could go in the house, but we’d probably be leaving soon to go somewhere else. As we went inside Deja looked at me and laughed. I asked her what was so funny.

“I seen that Shay.” She said to me. I asked what she’s talking about. “Shay, that hug. Chris likes you girl. I don’t know why you can’t tell. I didn’t even tell you he asked about you a few weeks ago”

“Why’d he ask about me? What’d he say?”

“He just asked about you girl, relax. You need to be careful hanging with him forreal. Chris is gonna get you in trouble” she said referring to my relationship.

I laughed, “no he isn’t, I’m the only person who could get me in trouble. He knows I have a boyfriend. Chris and I are just friends.” She didn’t care what I was saying. Deja is always right and she knows it. She’s like a psychic, not kidding. This girl is never wrong. But in this case, she is. And she’s gonna see that tonight.

In the house, we were clearly bored. There was like 6 people outside, 4 inside not including the people I came with, and other people who were leaving. Chris came in and spoke with us because we’re sort of his guest. We tried to play water pong, but the people before us lost the damn ball. So we’re just sitting here looking silly. Raven is next to me on her phone. Deja and Marvin are being caked. Chris is in a chair near me talking with these guys. He’s dressed in all black today. I can’t lie the color has me a little weak. He looks good af today. I mean really good. I caught myself staring a few times. To my surprise he didn’t even notice. After about 20 minutes of being at the kickback. We left and followed Chris and his guys to another kickback. This kickback actually looks like it has potential. These two whirs girls threw it. You can tell it was on a whim. When we got there they were pulling out the water pong table and a guy with bottles came in.

My type of party. If there’s no alcohol, how am I gonna loosen up?

I asked Chris if we were able to drink those bottles. He went to the kitchen and brought out both a bottle of Apple New Amsterdam and some other stuff I didn’t care for. I chose the New Am. Chris was delighted. He said it’s his favorite drink. We immediately took a shot. All of us. Raven, Chris, and I basically had that bottle to ourselves because Marvin already had his own liquor. A disgusting four loko.

After a while, I started feeling my liquor. Not too much. I wasn’t even tipsy. I just was feeling it. I needed to be around more people I knew. So after consulting with my right hand man, Raven, I decided to invite our old pal Vee. Surprisingly she was with my boyfriends best friend so that was even better. They ended up coming out and that made me feel so much more comfortable. I can be shy sometimes.

At one point in the KB (kickback), Chris came to sit next to me and we talked. At this point it was obvious he was giving me extra attention. I still thought nothing of it because Chris is social in general and come on… I’m his guest. Mid-conversation, all I remember is me stopping what I was saying and telling him he didn’t want to hear me talk this much.

That statement came from Keith and I’s issues. I talk A LOT. As I grew up, I learned to control it. I actually do pretty well. I know when I’m talking too much now, ya know rambling about nothing. But, no matter what I would say Keith would stop me in the middle of my sentence and say something along the lines of “OKAY Shay.” When he didn’t want to hear me talk anymore. It messed with me every time because I would barely be saying much. We’d be holding a conversation and he’d stop me from talking. Yet, I would have just listened to him say everything he wanted to say. I would feel shut out. So to change that, I reduced the the things I had to say to a minimum or I wouldn’t talk much at all. After telling Chris that what I was saying was a waste of his time, he said something that made me realize how unhappy I was in my relationship.




"No no.. I want To hear what you have to say. I enjoy hearing you talk Shay. Finish...

I haven’t been told that before so it caught me off guard. To be honest, I wanted to cry. Sounds weird to want to cry from that but it was something I’ve been wanting to hear from Keith. I love to talk. To hold conversations. I hate feeling like I can’t. So for Chris to want to listen really shocked me. It was foreign to me.

We continued to talk until we decided to play water pong. It was his idea, we partnered up and played against Deja and Marvin. We made a good team lol he was really good and I wasn’t bad myself. We strategized as if we were gonna win a trophy in the end. Chris showed me so much attention during the game which confused me completely. He touched my lower back. Softly touched my arms. At one point I was against the wall with his arms and hands touching the walls behind me while he was in front of me. We were close. Just talking about the game, it was completely innocent. But I felt it. It was there, something strange. I couldn’t understand. He was flirting with me. I couldn’t stop him either. If I did I’d end up making it obvious to Keith’s best friend who was sitting on the couch not paying us any mind.

After the game I tried my best to avoid close contact with Chris. I went as far as sitting with Deja Raven and Vee to try to make it seem like us girls just wanted to talk alone. He came by me again though. But attention wasn’t solely on me this time which was cool. I almost ended up in the bathroom with him alone. I was about to pee, but he asked if he could rinse his finger because he cut it. At one point we were both in the bathroom taking care of his bleeding pointing finger. I started to feel nervous so I got out of there once I could. I didn’t understand this feeling that was coming over me or where it was coming from. Chris doesn’t make me nervous. Yea, he’s flirting with me. Big deal. I get flirted with a lot. It doesn’t phase me but for some reason it made me feel a type of way this time. 

 The night started to come to an end. Everything started to die down. I realized I needed to leave when Chris friend came and sat next to me and my friends and asked what we were about to do. He asked me, “Aren’t you going home with Chris?” I quickly said no. He was drunk. I assumed he seen us flirting and just thought that’s what I’d be doing. I’m sure that’s what normally happened after parties. Chris brings home a girl. Not this girl though. 

After my friends left, Raven and I prepared ourselves to go. Chris walked us to our car which was across the street. I said something about the gym and he felt the need to begin complimenting me.

 “Why do you need to go to the gym? You look fine… I mean you look really fine Shay” I then begin to explain to him that you don’t have to feel fat to want to practice a healthy lifestyle.

 “I’m just saying you look good how you are. You’re already small. You had guys asking me if you were single in there. You’re beautiful. You don’t need a gym.” He continued ranting. 

He was drunk. I was getting annoyed. I hate when people tell me I shouldn’t go work out. I did gain weight, but I’m not fat. I know I look fine but damn a girl can want some abs right? 

 After we wrapped up our convo. He hugged Raven and I goodbye and told me to text him when I got in. I did exactly what he said and let him know I had a great time and thanks for inviting me. 

I laid in my bed and began to recap the night. See, Keith doesn’t like to go out. Like at all. He’s not a people person and parties aren’t his thing. I’m the total opposite. I’m super outgoing and if there’s s party you can bet I’m there. I don’t mind Keith not being like me, it’s never phased me. I would love to party with the love of my life sometimes though. That could be why I was so nervous to be around Chris. Yes, cause he was flirting and I felt something. But also because I don’t have too much experience partying with someone that interested in me. I normally push people away and continue partying with my girls when I’m out. I have a boyfriend, there’s no need for any guy to get too close to me. I guess I allowed Chris because he was drunk and he’s my friend. I didn’t want to embarrass him. He’d never act that way if he was sober. Chris is really the most respectful guy I know when it comes to my relationship. This was the only time he stepped out of bounds. I didn’t think about it too much longer. Sober Chris will apologize later. 

2:26am Chris: I’m glad you had a good time. We’ll hang again no worries. Goodnight Shay 😌

[sage-nebula]

homlnkyvs replied to your post “I am so, so, so, so, so beyond sick of seeing Alan hate. And you know...”

PEOPLE STILL GIVE HIM HATE AFTER SIX FUCKING MONTHS?!

Unfortunately, yes. 

I pulled this comment off a trailer for the upcoming movie---you know, the movie that has absolutely nothing at all to do with Alan? Yeah, people still found reason to bring him up and bash him in the comments of that video, and trust me, this person was not the only one. Someone else said that he was “a shitty excuse for a rival who won battles with brute force and no skills” and that’s so wrong I don’t even know where to begin, particularly since Alan actually uses real-world competitive strategies in matches (Agiligross, anyone?). I also saw more hate on my dash tonight (the OP was not someone I follow, of course, because I’d never follow such trash), and I just . . . I’m so goddamn fucking tired of this nonsense. So beyond tired of this nonsense. So, so, so beyond tired.

theyugiohtrashcan replied to your post “I am so, so, so, so, so beyond sick of seeing Alan hate. And you know...”

AS I BELIEVE WE SAID IN OUR MESSAGES: ALAN IS YOUR FAVE'S FAVE SO YOU PROBABLY SHOULD QUIT WHILE YOU'RE BEHIND...................

PRETTY GODDAMN MUCH. Ash cares about Alan so much, and he’s so in tune and in sync with him, he would never stand for this, not ever. I mean, Ash wouldn’t stand for such nonsense in general, but especially for someone he clearly likes as much as he likes Alan? As much as he has liked Alan since pretty much the moment they met (in which Alan and Lizardon came in like Big Damn Heroes and helped save Pikachu)? God damn, he and Alan saved the world side-by-side. There is no goddamn way Ash would stand for any of this bullshit, much less in his name.

yoshi12370 replied to your post “I am so, so, so, so, so beyond sick of seeing Alan hate. And you know...”

People really need to get over the league. Yes it's disappointing that Ash lost but there's nothing y'all can do

I seriously still don’t understand how it’s disappointing that Ash lost. I haven’t understood it since it happened and I don’t understand it now.

To begin with, it was absolutely ridiculous that people became so convinced that Ash was going to win. It was stated ages ago---AGES---by one of the show’s directors (Hidaka Masamitsu, in specific) that the show will end when Ash becomes a Pokémon Master. Specifically:

Now an overall question about the show. Will Ash ever become a Pokemon Master? He laughed and fell back on the couch. He blatantly said that when Ash becomes a Pokemon Master, the show will end. It will be the last episode. Going back to my first interview, I did not mention that he stated the show was cyclical because it could be the audience is constantly replaced (since children get older and leave, and new children come in), so they are allowed to get away with having the same repetitive goal. So, the show would probably continue the same way collect badges, travel through different regions, never age. Will Ash and Pikachu ever be replaced? No. Will they ever age? No. Will there be a 5th generation of Pokemon and will the show keep continuing? He laughed even harder and said of course. Pokemon will continue for many generations to come, and as he made it sound, probably forever.

Hidaka-san was a director until the Battle Frontier arc, and a storyboard artist until Best Wishes. While I don’t think he’s actively working on the show anymore, I highly doubt that he was the only one to hold this opinion, particularly since he was only one director out of several, and his reason for it makes absolute sense. The show is cyclical because it could be the audience is constantly replaced (since children get older and leave, and new children come in), so they are allowed to get away with the same repetitive goal. The eight year old who starts watching the anime now won’t have decades of disappointment of Ash not winning a League. There are children for whom the XY&Z anime series was their first. The Kalos League was the first League they ever experienced. So for them, yeah, Ash lost this one, but that’s their first loss, and the anime is for them, not for the adults who have been watching from the beginning. While it’s true that the exact criteria for being a Pokémon Master is never stated, I’ll bet you every bottom dollar that the showrunners are thinking of winning a Game League to be equivalent to becoming a Pokémon Master, or at least a huge step in that direction that would put them on a fast track to the show ending. Since they don’t want to do that---since they would be stupid to do that---Ash is never, not ever, going to win a Game League. He’s just not. It was absolutely ridiculous and beyond inexcusable for the adults who have watched this show for generations now to delude themselves that badly. (And I mean, the mere idea made Hidaka-san laugh. He actually laughed. Which, I mean, ouch insofar as Ash’s feelings go, but still, that should give people a clue.)

But even setting that aside, I still don’t see how this was disappointing. Without counting the Orange League, which doesn’t “count” in terms of his longterm goal due to being anime exclusive, Ash made it farther in the Kalos League than he ever has before. He has never made it to the finals before. The closest he made it was Top 4 in Sinnoh, and there he got booted out so badly that he lost 6-2 (because his opponent, Tobias, had a team of legendaries). Otherwise? He made it to Top 8 in Johto, Hoenn, and Unova, and Top 16 in Kanto. The Kanto loss was particularly bad, considering the fact that it wasn’t a fair fight (since he didn’t have a healthy team beforehand due to Team Rocket’s interference) and he lasted a grand total of five real world minutes. Yeah, that’s right---his Kanto League loss didn’t even take up an entire episode. It took up the very end of one episode. That’s how bad Kanto was, and yet people are going to bitch and moan about Kalos?

Ash made it to the finals of the Kalos League after absolutely curbstomping every single opponent he faced to get there. His match against Alan lasted two entire episodes, he and Alan went at each other beat for beat, Pikachu was so OP that Alan had to send out Lizardon against him because no one else could take him, and Ash even had some plot armor to make Greninja last longer than he should have, by all accounts. And yet people are still going to say that’s disappointing? People are going to sit there and seriously claim that he lied to Delia, or that Delia would be disappointed, because he told Delia that he was going to do better in Kalos than he did in Unova, when in Unova he was Top 8 and in Kalos he was Top 2? How is that not better? How is that not good enough? Honest to Din, some of Ash’s stans sound exactly like his haters with the way they place unreasonable standards on him and whine about his genuine accomplishments as if they aren’t good enough. What was it that Nietzsche said? Ah, yes: “He who fights monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster. And if you stare for long into the abyss, the abyss stares also into you.” Ash’s stans sound just like his haters sometimes and they should honestly check themselves so they can learn to knock it off, for real.

So yeah, I really don’t see how Ash’s Kalos League loss was disappointing in the least bit. The only thing disappointing is the behavior of Ash’s stans, full stop.