#I just don’t know what else we can do to move forward tbh

[runawaymun]

Man what a horrible way to wake up.

[jj-one]

STRAY KIDS + POSSESSIVENESS ! 🩹 ⋅˚₊ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

pairing: dom!skz x sub!fem!reader, established relationship, husband!changbin bc why not ? genre/tags: smut, angst, fluff (tbh it's only changbin's part), jealousy, exhibitionism, voyeurism, lots of degradation, mentions of crying, marking, manhandling, bondage play, piv, unprotected s*x (do not try this at home kids), public s*x, rough s*x, fingering, nipple play, oral (f & m receiving), t*tty slapping, multiple orgasms, edging, choking, bulge kink, slight breeding kink… am not mentally ok for writing any of this words: 3.4k

**old repost from my deleted blog

BANG CHAN. His patience was a level of no other. The man just watched you flirt with his friend and didn’t mutter a single word. All the while you kept boasting about how good Changbin’s muscles looked and the movement of his biceps were leaving you in complete amusement.

Pissed off doesn’t begin to describe what he’s feeling right now. He clears his throat,

“Are we done y/n? I think it’s time we head home now.”

The tone of his voice was cold, icy like a winter storm.

The lump in your throat was stuck. You knew how much in deep shit you were for this and his silence was the main indicator.

You could feel his piercing eyes on you the whole time.

+

It wasn’t long before you’d end up in this position. Both arms were locked above your head by his strong hands. The tight grip he kept around your wrists was definitely going to leave some bruising.

“You’re such a dumb slut. Did all this just to get me like this huh?” His cock hitting your walls aggressively as you spasm and shake under him.

“All this to get me to fuck you the like the dumb little cockwhore you are?” He growled, “can Changbin fuck you like this?”

His pace was relentless. His cock stretching you open with each deep thrust. His harsh words cutting into you like a dagger. Your mind was blank, head full of Chan’s cock. You had to answer him though, or else he will stop.

“N-no Chan only y-yours… only you can fuck me like this!”

A smirk creeps up his face from your quavering voice. He leans forward, his lips brush over yours as if almost to kiss you but doesn’t.

“I own you y/n. Only I get to have to you, understood?”

All you feel is his cock slamming into you. The slapping sounds becoming a melody of a beat, your heart was racing a mile a minute.

“Understood.”

LEE KNOW. He hates when you act out in public. The way you tease him and get him riled up, knowing he can’t do anything about it. It gave you sense of power, you had the upper hand— for now.

You were wearing the shortest mini skirt possible, it barely covered your bum and you could feel a cool breeze slip through your crevices. You kept walking in front of him, swaying your little hips side to side, letting him watch you bend down to pick things up as he sneaks a peak under your skirt. The sight of the pink lace thong you wore was enough to make him grab you by the arm and yank you into a public restroom nearby.

Before you know it, you’re being devoured by your boyfriend. Sitting on the counter of the sink whilst he was below you, giving you a gaze that could snatch your soul. His digits sunk into your dripping cunt as he swipes his tongue across your slit. Your skirt was still on but pushed up slightly, your thong was also moved to the side.

“I can’t believe you’d go out like this and expect me not to control myself.” He rises up momentarily.

“You do this on purpose, knowing I don’t want other people looking at you.”

He laps up your juices and coats it with his face, scissoring you open with his fingers.

“Fuck… I wore this for you Minho— w-wanted to look pretty for you.” Your eyes were tightly shut, feeling the euphoria as you were close to your orgasm.

He abruptly pulled his fingers out of you, thrusting your hips in the air now, you whine for stimulation.

“Will you be a good girlfriend for me and cum on my tongue kitten? I want you to scream as loud for me as you can, I don’t care who hears it.” Minho was dead serious. He doesn’t care you both are in a public restroom and there’s people casually walking by. He wants everyone to know you are his.

You nod and agree to be on your best behavior for him. You know he will most likely reward you for this in the end.

“I promise, I’ll be a good girl Minho.”

Feeling your body heat surge as he inched closer to your core, pressing his tongue at your entrance. He tongue fucks you viciously while never breaking his eye contact with you.

Feeling yourself come undone from the surreal pleasure, all you want is to feel your release.

You thrash and moan as you cream on Minho’s tongue, your legs felt like jello when you climax. You let out multiple gasps for air, feeling as though you just ran a marathon.

Minho hasn’t left between your legs yet, his face still in a headlock. He wasn’t quite finished with you just yet.

“You can give me one more, right kitten?”

CHANGBIN. Being a newlywed couple felt like a fairytale dream come true. He felt incredibly lucky to have you as his wife and doesn’t stop reminding you how happy he is. He’d shower you with a beacon of compliments that would melt your heart each and every time.

You went on another vacation right after the honeymoon and it felt like paradise. That was up until a small incident occurred, it happened when you were at the pool with your husband. One of the pool goers at the resort couldn’t keep their eyes off you. You wore a sexy one piece that had cut-out details on the sides to show off your waist but you wore a sheer cover up over it.

Changbin noticed straight away the eyes that were glued to you, the eyes that were glued to his precious wife. He was livid. Almost causing a scene, he went up to the perverted man that was eye fucking you and gave him a piece of his mind. In utter disbelief of what was unfolding in front of you, you go up to Changbin to calm him down and get him to stop before he ends up actually doing something he’ll regret. His face burned crimson from anger but the sound of your voice brought him back to reality.

+

Things were much better in private now. Much better. Sitting on your husband’s lap in the jacuzzi bathtub felt so relaxing, his hands roamed your naked body as he placed chaste kisses all over you. He stopped at your neck to give it more attention, nibbling on a sensitive spot that made you sink right into his form. Moaning softly whilst his hands prance down to your back.

“I want to shield the rest of the world from you, only I get to gawk at my gorgeous wife.” Changbin says possessively, looking at you once he comes up from your neck.

You nod in agreement, “they can look but can’t touch!”

“No, they can’t even look, all of this is mine, mine, mine.” He plants a kiss to your cheek as his hand creeps down to your core. He prods your hole with a single digit, entering you with ease. You let out a soft moan as you part your lips slightly, bucking your hips forward. He pumps his finger into your wetness as he looks deeply into your eyes, nothing but burning desire in his pupils. He brings his thumb to your clit and rubs it in a steady motion, your swollen nub feeling overstimulated from his touch.

“This is just the beginning my love, I’m not done with you until the sun comes up.” He whispered in your ear as he drags his tongue against your earlobe. In just the jacuzzi alone, he’s made you cum several times from his fingers. Oh how those magical fingers always do wonders on you..

HYUNJIN. The room was pitch black, your vision completely impaired from the blindfold attached to your head. Your hands were bound to each other, behind your back being tied by a thick rope. You had nowhere to go and the room was pure silence, naked and touch starved, you whine for Hyunjin to do something but you were met with no answer. He was standing over you on the bed but you were unaware of any of your surroundings.

The man finally spoke, “This is what happens when you try and make daddy jealous.”

You can feel his hot breath on your neck, the sensation making you crave him even more.

Hyunjin was always the possessive type, was constantly in need of reassurance if he felt his ego was being bruised. This was situation was no different, he needed to remind you that he was the one who owned you.

He brought finger to your perked nipple, gently dragging it across to tease you a bit. A white-hot charge sent through your body as you finally felt his touch. Dripping in a puddle of your own slick from the dirty thoughts racing in your mind, he continues lightly tracing your hardened nipples; eliciting low moans from you.

Your senses were heightened from the way you weren’t able to see anything, any little touch from him making you squeal from shock.

“You like this don’t you?” He says in a condescending tone, he belittles you some more. “So pathetic, look at you. Can’t do anything but take it, so fucking helpless.”

Hyunjin loved seeing how weak you become under him, the power dynamic being completely imbalanced right now. All you could do was moan out for him, practically begging him to do more but you know he’s going to take his time with you.

“Gonna make you squirt all over this bed for me.” He says, “Won’t stop until I have you screaming and begging for mercy, which I will never give you.”

The smirk on his face was devilish, he was conjuring up the perfect plan to ruin you indefinitely.

“Hyunjin, please fuck me… please.” You push your thighs together to feel some friction but Hyunjin gets mad at this action instantly.

He brings a harsh slap to your left tit, making you jump up a bit but your body couldn’t move properly from being tied up. Your legs went back to it’s original position, spread open for him so he can get a glimpse of your dripping cunt.

“Don’t ever tell me what to do, I make the rules now.” He palms your breast and kneads it excessively.

“You are my property.”

HAN. If jealousy was a disease Han would be the first one to catch it. He really loves yet hates the fact that he has such a smoking hot girlfriend that everyone wants. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy dating you but the way some of these other guys would look at you was about to become his villain origin story.

You were so oblivious to anyone who attempted to flirt with you, you only had eyes for your man but it was hard to convince Han otherwise. The pizza delivery guy complimented how pretty you looked and when you handed him the money to pay for the food, you accidentally gave him a ten dollar bill instead of a twenty, he didn’t even care he just smiled and continued talking to you.

That’s when Han knew he had to butt in, he was listening from the couch and he knew he shouldn’t have let you be the one to answer the door. Quickly he comes up to you to wrap his arms behind you, keeping you in a tight hold as the pizza guy looks mortified now.

“You can leave now,” Han says to him in a harsh tone, “We have important business to take care of!”

Slamming the door in his face now, Han comes up from behind you to take the pizza box out of your hands to place it on the table. Soon after, a heavy make out session between you would ensue.

+

As your naked bodies entangled one another, you feel yourself cinching around his cock from each inch as he slides it in. Your breath instantly coming to a halt as the end of his cock crashed into your cervix. He moves with his ass up in the air as he buries his length deep inside you, the squelching sound of your wet pussy making him see stars.

“Fuck… so fucking tight for me.” Han says sounding pussydrunk off the way you feel around him.

You fall into a frenzy as he pumps his length into you harder, pounding into you like no tomorrow. The bulge of his cock could be seen inside you, moving in and out of you intensely. Grinding your hips to match his pace, you rub your clit to feel more stimulation.

“You’re so fucking hot my God…” He cooed, tiny beads of sweat now forming on the sides of his face. “Your pussy was made for me and me only…”

“Only I can make you feel this good.”

FELIX. He felt sick to his stomach whenever he saw someone else looking at you. The way people would look at you in public when he was with you made him feel beyond disrespected. This is exactly why he doesn’t bring you anywhere because his fragile little ego will be crushed as soon as another person laid their eyes on you. He couldn’t deal with it anymore, he just had to do something about it.

You were at a public park but the park was so big that it was easy to hide and go unseen behind some bushes.

Felix brought you to a secluded area and told you get on your back, you do as he says and he looks at you with the most evil grin on his face.

“I’m going to fuck you so dumb right here, right now.” Felix says in a raspy deep voice, “I will let everyone exactly know who’s bitch you are.”

You gulp once you feel his hands all over you, you wore a black slip dress which drove him absolutely mad.

“Gonna make you pay for getting me worked up like this.” You felt so small when he spoke like this to you, the sticky mess in your panties was only growing as you feel his hands go up your thigh.

“Too stunned to speak sweetheart?” He asks, giving you an alluring yet mischievous smile. You have no idea what this man has for you in store.

“N-no, I can speak-“

“Shut up.” He quickly cuts you off from saying more. “I’m the one talking right now, you sit back and take what I’m going to give you.”

You did exactly as you were told and lay back for him. He quickly unzips his pants and frees his cock from his boxers. You look at the red tip of his angry cock, the sight of his raging erection was enough to make you feel a tingling sensation in your heat. His cock would plunge into you nice and slow but once he bottoms out he’ll quickly pick up his pace, fucking into you menacingly. He brought a hand to your neck and squeezed the shaft of it tightly, you gasp for air as he choked you but it wasn’t unbearable. You close your eyes to the feeling, letting yourself be fully immersed into him. Each thrust he gave you felt like bliss as he roughly held onto your hip, fucking you like a complete maniac.

“Gonna dump all my cum into your slutty little body,” Felix continued,“you’re my fuck toy, only I get to use you.”

SEUNGMIN. Usually something like this would never get to him. However, today was different, very different. Seungmin almost went ballistic when he found out that some guy asked for your number while you were out shopping at the supermarket. He often goes everywhere with you but you were getting off work and went straight to the store to grab some things for dinner. That’s when it happened and you told Seungmin as soon as you got home. You thought he’d just laugh it off but he frowned, disproving of that guy’s actions.

“What a loser,” Seungmin says in an annoyed tone, “when they will learn to just leave you the hell alone?”

He wanted you all to himself, if he could lock you up forever and throw away the key, he probably would. Only letting you out when he tells you you can.

“They can try all they want Minnie but I know I belong to you at the end of the day.” You bring your arms around his neck and lean in to kiss him and he kisses you back passionately.

+

“Want you to say it for me again, who’s pussy does this belong to?” Seungmin was now relentlessly pumping two fingers in you.

“Y-yours Seungmin… yours!” You could barely get a coherent word out of your mouth.

“And who makes you feel the best?”

He wasn’t letting up on making sure you know that you fully belonged to him. “We can do this all day princess… I’m not going to stop until I’m satisfied.”

This was his fifth time edging you at this point, leaving you on the verge of an orgasm but would pull his fingers out once he notices your chest floating up. He’s being so evil to you right now, as if you it was your fault for what had happened in the supermarket.

“You, only y-you! You’re the best at making me feel so good!” You babble as he rapidly moves his fingers in and out of your gaping hole.

“That’s my good little girl, now keep taking my fingers and I’ll reward you soon okay?”

JEONGIN. “You’re such a filthy slut, you know that?” The motion of needy hips were bucking into you. Your head was kept in place, completely still, on your knees and on the verge of tears from your boyfriend’s words.

You knew why you were in this predicament right now. This was all your fault and you did it all for this exact reason.

You wanted to see Jeongin’s reaction to saying you think Felix was hot. You know he wouldn’t take that comment lightly since that was one of his best friends. You wanted to see how far you could test his limits.

“You wanna fuck my friends huh?” He grabs you by the hair and furrows his eyebrows to regain more focus onto you.

You couldn’t speak, all you could do was shake your head around him as he shoved his cock further down your throat.

“Can’t even talk with your mouth full of cock, what a dumb little whore you are.”

His cock hitting the back of your uvula, causing you to make a gagging noise. Streaks of saliva creep from the sides your mouth, the messy scenery underneath him was a heavenly sight indeed. You moan while sucking his cock, the vibrations making the hairs on the back of his neck rise up. He throws his head back and keeps a tight hold on your hair, gripping you with everything he had. He thrusts his hard length into you viciously, the gurgling noises you were making whilst he fucks your face sounds harmonic to him.

“Shit…think I’m gonna cum soon” he muttered, letting out a groan as he kept pushing your face into his cock. “Yeah… just like that fuck… that’s it.”

A stream of tears came running down your face as you continued. You can feel his veiny cock twitch against your tongue as you felt hot spurts of cum fill you up now. You swallow each and every drop and milk him clean like the good girl you were. Opening your mouth wide to show it was empty he grins viciously and taps his dick against your tongue.

“You’re the biggest fucking slut…” He pants heavily.

“My biggest slut.”

[mccormickgf]

Hiiii, can u do a craig tucker with a baby fever/breeding kink x fem reader?? It would give me so much life cause i been reading the same fanfics of him over and over 😭, thank you so much if you do it

need to breed : craig tucker

warnings: nsfw (18+), fem and afab reader, breeding, p-in-v sex, pregnancy mentions, overstimulation, feral craig tbh

notes: i was just gonna write the smut part, but i love craig sm and wanted to write more 😭 also i haven’t written smut in months so i apologize if i’m rusty <3

“we should have a kid.”

you nearly choke on your own spit at your husband’s forwardness. craig’s always been very blunt in what he says about things or others. but when it comes to the things he wants, he’s a little less vocal. so hearing a suggestion, especially like the one he said, threw you for a loop.

“you- you want to get me pregnant?” you questioned, disbelief in your tone, “and have a baby?”

“that’s usually the order it goes in, yeah.”

you roll your eyes at his sass, but you don’t comment on it. instead, you question him. “whatever, whatever,” you said, “but what’s making you want this now?”

even before you and craig got married, you two talked about having kids one day. it was something both of you wanted in the future. but you weren’t expecting the conversation to happen in the near future.

craig pushes off the doorframe, walking his body to his side of the bed. you watch him curiously as his eyes trail down your body— only wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a thin tank top.

“clyde keeps sending me pictures of he and his wife’s new baby,” craig explained, “it— i guess it just makes me wonder what our baby would look like. and we have the funds to stay afloat, even with one.”

you smile lightly at him. you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it. maybe it’d have craig’s jet black hair and your eyes, or your hair and craig’s eyes and nose. when you thought about his strong arms holding onto a little chubby baby— your heart soared.

you press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “let’s try.”

a broken sob falls past your lips as craig thrusts inside of you for the umpteenth time. you don’t know how long you’ve been there, laying on your back on the mattress with your legs folded to your shoulders, but you know you’ve been there long enough for craig to fuck three loads into your sopping cunt. or was it four? you could barely remember your own name, let alone how many times you’ve both cum.

“craig— oh god! it’s too much, ‘s too much!” you cried out. craig’s thrusts were furiously fast, yet accurate enough to hit that one spot that made you see stars over and over again.

“you can take it— fuck!” craig groaned, “gotta make sure you get pregnant, right?”

a shaky moan falls past your lips as you bite the bottom one, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you like a vice.

normally, craig is a slow-fucker. not necessarily overly slow in pace, but in how he takes his time to pleasure you fully. but this? this is a whole new thing for you and him. it’s like a switch got flipped inside his brain, and everything else was shut off except for his need to breed you.

craig’s cock continued to move in and out of you at an animalistic pace. your pussy was beyond spent, leaking a mix of his cum (that he hasn’t already fucked back into you) and yours onto the bedsheets. if you weren’t so out of it, you’d be embarrassed at the mess beneath you and the sound of it being fucked back into you.

“gonna fill you up with my babies, make you a mama,” craig continued to ramble, a small sheen of sweat on his forehead, “you’d like that wouldn’t you? get you all, shit— nice and pregnant.”

your cunt involuntarily squeezed around his cock at his words, a pornographic moan escaping you. craig lightly chuckled, “oh, so you do like it. i just felt your pretty pussy squeeze me.”

your face burns, but there’s very little chance for embarrassment as you feel another orgasm building up, a heat in your tummy. frantic moans and whines escape you, the pleasure bordering on painful from how many times you’ve cum.

“god, fuck!” you cried, “craig, ‘m gonna cum!” tears of pleasure escape your eyes, falling down your cheeks.

with one hand, craig reaches down and runs firm yet rhythmic circles on your clit, making you gasp. with the other, he grabs onto your hand, pressing it to his lips.

“you gonna cum with me, honey?” he said, his thrusts becoming slightly sloppier as he gets closer to his orgasm, “i’m gonna— gonna fill you up again, k? to make sure you have my baby.”

pleas leave your lips as you grip craig’s hand, throwing your head back as the heat in your stomach finally releases with a final loud moan. craig quickly follows, groaning as his load fills your pussy.

craig stays inside of you as his forehead falls against yours, both of your chests moving up and down in sync. you feel beyond spent, your legs numb from holding them up for so long.

but before you can say anything, craig leans up slightly so he can look in your eyes. “got one more in ya, honey? i wanna make sure i get you pregnant on the first try.”

[kaiyunsim]

gonna be a rock —

pairing : ex!sungho x gn!reader

summary : a random and sudden breakup wraps you in an internal storm as many waves of emotions hit you. determined to get closure, you find any way to get yourself to sungho… even if it means breaking a window.

warnings : ANGST (ZERO FLUFF!), tbh it hurt while writing this, mentions shinyu from tws

a/n : FIRST INSTALLMENT OF 19.99!! i really hope you guys enjoy and look forward to more :)

[19.99 masterlist]

— wc : 4.6k — not proof read —

"i think we should end this."

the words land between you like something heavy, an object placed down with finality. not a suggestion. not something up for discussion. just a decision, spoken aloud as if it had already been set in stone.

you stare at him, waiting for him to say something else. to add an explanation, a reason, anything to soften the weight of it. but sungho doesn’t speak. his hands are folded together on the table, his posture stiff. he doesn’t even look at you, eyes focused downward, like he’s already detaching himself.

"what?"

your voice barely comes out. it doesn’t sound like your own.

sungho exhales, finally lifting his gaze. his expression is unreadable, carefully neutral in a way that makes your stomach twist.

"it’s better this way."

"better for who?" the question is out before you can stop it.

a flicker of something crosses his face. guilt? hesitation? but it’s gone just as quickly. "for both of us."

but it doesn’t feel like that. not to you.

the words sit between you, cold and unmoving, like a wall just placed down with no warning. you should be asking more questions, trying to break through it, but your mind feels slow, struggling to keep up with how suddenly everything is unraveling.

this isn’t how things were supposed to go. weren’t breakups supposed to be full of shouting and emotions spilling over? weren’t they supposed to be messy? painful? anything but this quiet, detached conversation that makes it feel like you were never that important to him at all?

but maybe that’s the point. maybe he planned it this way. clean, easy, without a fight. something you couldn’t argue against.

your fingers curl slightly against your lap, a sharp contrast to how still the rest of you feels.

"okay."

the second you say it, regret pools in your stomach. but the words are already out.

sungho nods like this was the answer he expected. he pushes his chair back, standing up as if he’s already leaving.

"i’ll go now."

the finality in his voice makes something tighten in your throat. you watch him move toward the door, each step feeling heavier than it should.

this is it. this is the moment you should do something, ask him to wait, to slow down, to give you something to hold onto. but your body stays frozen, fingers twitching against the table as you struggle to find your voice.

he reaches for the door handle.

"sungho—"

he pauses, hand resting against the wood, but he doesn’t turn around.

your lips part, but the words won’t come. everything you want to say, ‘why? is this really what you want? do i mean so little to you?’ sits on the tip of your tongue, but none of it makes it out.

because if he wanted to explain, he already would have. if he wanted to fight for this, he wouldn’t be standing there with his back to you, waiting for you to let him go.

so you swallow hard, staring at the back of his head as the silence stretches between you.

"never mind."

he doesn’t say anything. he just nods, barely, and then the door opens.

and then he’s gone.

the silence that follows is unbearable.

you sit there for a long time, staring at the empty space he left behind. part of you keeps expecting him to walk back through the door, to sit back down and say he didn’t mean it. but the seconds stretch on, turning into minutes, and reality settles in.

he’s not coming back.

you don’t know how long you sit there, unmoving, before your body finally remembers how to function. your phone is in your lap. you don’t remember picking it up, but now the screen lights up beneath your fingers.

no notifications.

your thumb hovers over his name in your contacts. your chest feels tight just looking at it, but you can’t bring yourself to move away.

should you text him? ask him what went wrong? ask if he meant it?

or would that make things worse?

you close out of the screen before you can talk yourself into something you’ll regret. the phone slips from your fingers, landing beside you on the couch, and you lean back, pressing your palms over your face.

this is pathetic. you should be angry. you should be cursing him, throwing something, doing anything other than sitting here feeling like the air has been sucked out of your lungs.

but all you can do is replay it. the way he sounded. the way he looked when he said it. like this was something he had already accepted, something he had already lived with before he told you.

how long had he known? how long had he been planning this while you went about your days, completely unaware?

the thought makes you feel sick.

eventually, the world outside your window grows dark, and exhaustion seeps into your limbs. you should eat something. drink water. do anything to pull yourself out of this fog. but instead, you just drag yourself to bed, muscles feeling too heavy.

you don’t expect to sleep.

and you’re right.

you spend most of the night staring at the ceiling, blinking in the darkness, feeling the weight of everything pressing against your ribs. your mind refuses to shut off, forcing you to cycle through every moment of the day over and over until you feel like you’re suffocating.

is sungho lying in bed right now too? staring at the ceiling? thinking about you?

or is he already moving on?

you hate that you don’t know. hate that you’ll never know unless you ask. hate that even if you did, he probably wouldn’t tell you the truth.

the words slip out before you can stop them.

"i hate you."

the sound is barely above a whisper, lost in the darkness of your room. but the moment they leave your lips, you know they aren’t true.

because no matter how much you wish you could, you don’t hate him.

you don’t even know how to.

you decide you need to move on.

it’s not a sudden realization, not some dramatic moment of clarity. it’s just the only thing left to do. because if sungho can leave so easily, if he can sit across from you and end everything without looking back, then why should you hold on?

so you start with the obvious.

his contact name is still the same, sitting in your favorites list like a wound that hasn’t closed. your fingers hover over it for too long before you finally remove it. it doesn’t make a difference. he’s still there in your recent calls, in your messages, in the hundreds of texts that haven’t been opened since the breakup.

you don’t delete them all at once. at first, you just skim through them, eyes catching on random pieces of conversation

did you eat yet? don’t stay up too late i miss you. love you, see you later!

it’s stupid how something as small as old texts can make your chest tighten.

but you keep going, forcing yourself to press delete, over and over again, until the messages shrink down.

next is social media. his name lingers at the top of your feed, old photos still filling your gallery. there are pictures of him that you never posted, ones only you had. sungho with his head resting on your shoulder, sungho laughing at something you said, sungho looking at you like you were the only person in the world.

you don’t delete them. not yet. instead, you tuck your phone away, out of sight, as if that will make a difference.

avoiding him is harder.

your usual spots suddenly feel like danger zones. the café near campus where you used to study together, the park you’d walk through after late-night convenience store runs. places that once felt familiar now make your stomach twist with the possibility of running into him.

so you adjust. you pick different paths, different stores, different habits. it’s not moving on, not really, but at least it keeps you from having to see him.

but even when he’s not there, he’s there. in the places, in the moments, in the habits you still haven’t shaken.

one day, you catch yourself reaching for your phone, fingers typing out a message before you even realize what you’re doing. have you eaten today?

you delete it before you can think too hard about it.

you tell yourself you’re doing fine.

people ask how you’re holding up, and you smile, you laugh, you say i’m okay.

it’s easy. practiced.

but at night, when the city quiets down and there’s no one left to convince, it gets harder. because at some point, without meaning to, your feet carry you in a direction they shouldn’t.

you don’t realize where you’re going until you’re already there. standing on the sidewalk, staring up at a window you shouldn’t be looking at.

his apartment.

the lights are on. he’s home.

your breath catches for a moment, fingers twitching at your sides. you should leave. turn around, walk away, pretend this never happened.

but you don’t.

instead, you stay there, frozen in place, staring up at the warm glow spilling from his window.

is he alone? is he thinking about you? or is he just going about his night like nothing’s changed?

a stupid thought crosses your mind.

if i threw a rock at his window, would he come out? would he care?

your fingers tighten slightly around the strap of your bag. you can almost picture it, picking up a small stone, watching it tap against the glass, waiting for him to look down and see you standing there.

but what then? what would you even say? what could he possibly say to make any of this hurt less?

the thought lingers, tempting in its desperation, but you already know you won’t do it. because the truth is, you’re afraid of the answer. afraid that if he saw you standing here, he wouldn’t care at all.

so you turn away, the weight in your chest heavier than before, and walk home alone.

weeks pass, but the questions don’t.

they creep in at odd moments,when you’re walking to class, when you’re waiting for your coffee, when you’re lying awake in bed. why did he leave? was it something i did? was i not enough?

you tell yourself that it doesn’t matter anymore. that you don’t need to know.

but the thoughts don’t listen. and it happens on an ordinary afternoon.

you’re with a group of friends, conversation drifting in and out of focus, when shinyu says something that makes your stomach twist.

"sungho seems fine."

two simple words. light, casual. not meant to hurt. but they do.

fine? he’s fine?

your fingers clench slightly around the cup in your hand. you don’t know what you were expecting, sungho to be miserable? to regret everything?

but hearing it out loud, the confirmation that he’s okay, that he’s moving on without looking back, it stings more than you want to admit.

you force a smile, nodding along like it doesn’t bother you, like your chest doesn’t feel tight.

no one notices.

that night, you find yourself doing something you swore you wouldn’t.

you scroll through old messages, eyes flicking over the conversations you should’ve deleted by now. there’s no point in reading them, no point in torturing yourself, but you do it anyway.

don’t stay up too late. i love you. miss you so much y/n ❤️

your fingers hover over the keyboard, heart pounding in a way that feels pathetic.

you type out a message. "why did you leave?"

four simple words.

they sit there on the screen, glaring back at you, waiting.

your thumb hovers over the send button. just one tap, and you’d finally have an answer. or maybe you wouldn’t. maybe he wouldn’t reply at all. maybe he’d say something that would make it worse.

you stare at the message until the letters blur together, your chest feeling too tight, your hands feeling too cold.

then, slowly, you press delete and you feel ridiculous.

like a kid crying over a broken toy.

but sungho wasn’t just anyone. he was everything.

and you can’t take it anymore.

if sungho won’t answer your texts, won’t give you the closure you need, then you’ll force him to.

your hands shake as you tear a page from an old notebook, the paper crinkling under your grip. you don’t give yourself time to think. if you hesitate, you’ll lose your nerve.

you grab a pen.

"why did you leave?"

the words stare back at you, dark ink sinking into the fibers of the paper. too direct? too desperate? does it even matter?

you fold the note carefully, wrapping it around a small rock you picked up from the sidewalk. your fingers tighten around it. your pulse is loud in your ears.

this is stupid, so stupid, so petty, but you’re already walking.

his building is quiet when you arrive and the lights in his window are still on. he’s home.

your throat feels tight as you step closer, fingers twitching against the rough surface of the stone.

time to throw this rock

one throw. just one.

you take a deep breath, pull your arm back, and let it fly.

the tap against the glass is sharper than you expected, cutting through the silence of the night.

you freeze.

for a moment, nothing happens.

then, the curtains shift.

the window creaks open.

and sungho leans out, eyes scanning the street.

your heart pounds so hard it might break through your ribs.

he looks confused at first, his gaze sweeping over the empty sidewalk, searching. then his eyes land on you.

he stills.

you can’t breathe.

for a long moment, neither of you say anything.

he just stares at you, expression unreadable, like he’s trying to figure out if you’re serious.

you want to say something, anything, but the words catch in your throat.

his eyes drop slightly, and you know the second he notices the small rock lying on the ground, the paper still wrapped around it.

you see the way his brows furrow, how his lips part slightly like he wants to say something but doesn’t know what.

and then, finally, he speaks.

"what the hell are you doing?"

sungho stares at you like he can’t believe you’re real. like he never expected to have this conversation. like he never wanted to.

but you did.

that’s why you’re standing here, breath uneven, heart hammering in your chest. because you needed to hear it. hear closure.

sungho steps outside.

"you threw a rock at my window."

his voice is flat, exhausted, but underneath it, there’s something else. something unreadable.

"you left me without an explanation," you fire back.

his lips part slightly, but no words come out. he looks away, fingers twitching at his sides. a muscle in his jaw ticks, and for a moment, you think he’s going to ignore you.

then, he exhales sharply. "so this is how you want to do this?"

"this is the only way i could get you to talk to me," you say, voice steadier than you feel.

his brows furrow, and you see the way his gaze flickers to the crumpled note on the pavement. the one you wrapped around the stone before throwing it.

"you could’ve just texted me."

you let out a bitter laugh. "would you have answered?"

the silence is answer enough.

sungho shifts on his feet. his weight sways slightly like he wants to turn back inside, wants to end this conversation before it can start. but you don’t let him.

"why did you leave?" you ask, the words pressing against your ribs.

sungho flinches.

his hands disappear into his hoodie pockets. his gaze flickers past you, to the empty street, as if looking for an escape. but there isn’t one.

"does it matter?" he asks finally, voice quiet.

you inhale sharply.

"of course it matters."

his jaw tightens.

"why?"

you feel your breath stutter. "because i can’t stop wondering what i did wrong. because i need to know—" your voice wavers, and you press your lips together, steadying yourself. "because you owe me that much."

sungho’s face twists, his eyes flickering with something you can’t name.

he exhales, and then, finally— "i was scared."

you blink.

"scared of what?"

sungho shifts. his shoulders curl inward slightly, like he’s trying to make himself smaller. like he doesn’t want to be here.

"of hurting you more if i stayed," he mutters.

something inside you cracks.

"you already hurt me," you whisper.

his expression flickers, like he expected that but still wasn’t ready to hear it.

he doesn’t say anything for a long time.

"i thought leaving would be easier," he says finally, voice tight. "for both of us."

a humorless laugh escapes your lips.

"for both of us?" you shake your head. "is that what you think? that leaving without a real reason was easier?"

sungho exhales, rubbing his hands over his face. "i thought it would be."

"well, it wasn’t."

the words snap through the air between you, sharp and final.

his eyes meet yours then, and for the first time, you see it—guilt.

"i know."

it shouldn’t feel like a victory.

"then why did you still do it?"

sungho swallows, and for the first time, his mask cracks.

"because i was a bad boyfriend," he mutters.

your breath catches.

"what?"

his hands tighten into fists inside his hoodie. "i was never enough for you."

a scoff leaves your lips. "that’s not true."

"isn’t it?" his voice wavers. "i forgot things that mattered to you. i let stupid things get in the way of us, and i never—" he stops himself, inhaling sharply through his nose. "i knew i wasn’t what you deserved."

your throat feels tight. "and you think leaving me with no explanation was better?"

his eyes flicker away.

"i thought it would hurt less than staying and watching you realize it yourself," he admits.

your heart clenches.

"i never wanted to leave," he says suddenly, voice raw. "i swear, i never—" he exhales sharply, shaking his head. "but once i said it, i couldn’t take it back."

you stare at him, chest tight.

"that’s not fair," you whisper.

his lips press into a thin line. "i know."

"if you ever cared about me—"

"i did care about you," he cuts in. “i do care about you”

"then why wasn’t i enough?"

sungho flinches like you physically hit him.

he looks away, throat bobbing.

"it was never about you not being enough," he mutters. "it was about me not knowing if i was."

your breath hitches.

"and now?" you ask.

sungho exhales, shaking his head.

"now?" he echoes. "now it’s too late."

the words settle in your chest like lead.

his gaze lifts back to the sky, and when he speaks again, his voice is softer.

"i should go."

the finality in his voice makes something crack inside you.

but you don’t stop him.

you don’t say anything as he turns, his steps pulling him further away.

this wasn’t closure.

this wasn’t enough.

but at least now, you have something.

—

you walk home, heart heavy, but somehow lighter than before.

the city doesn’t feel the same without him.

it should. nothing has changed, cars still rush past, people still weave through crowded sidewalks, the world still moves forward as if nothing happened. but for you, everything feels off. there’s an emptiness that follows you through the streets, in the spaces where sungho used to be.

it’s been weeks since that night, since he told you he needed space, since he walked away without offering an explanation that made sense. and yet, you’re still stuck in that moment, still replaying the conversation in your head like a song you can’t turn off.

‘lets end this’

you don’t know what he meant by that. you don’t know what changed, why he suddenly decided that distance was the answer. all you know is that his absence lingers, stretching into every part of your life, leaving you wondering if you did something wrong.

at first, you tried to ignore it. tried to go about your days like nothing was different. you still met up with friends, still laughed at their jokes, still went to the places you used to go. but even in a crowded room, you felt alone. no matter how many conversations you had, your mind always drifted back to him.

did he miss you? did he regret it? or was he perfectly fine, moving on like you were nothing more than a phase, a small moment in his life?

you don’t want to be bitter, but it’s hard not to be when you’re left with nothing but questions.

one night, you sit by your window, watching the city glow beneath you. the neon signs flicker in the distance, casting reflections on the rain-slick pavement. it’s late, but you’re wide awake, lost in thought.

your phone buzzes.

the sound cuts through the silence, and for a moment, your heart stops. no one texts you this late.

you reach for your phone, fingers trembling slightly as you turn the screen over.

1 new message from sungho.

your chest tightens.

you hesitate before unlocking your phone, bracing yourself for whatever he has to say. the screen glows in the dim light of your room, illuminating the message waiting for you.

"are you okay?"

three words. that’s all. no explanation, no apology, no attempt to justify what he did. just a simple question, one that feels too small to hold the weight of everything that’s happened between you.

you don’t know how to respond.

part of you wants to ignore it. after all, he’s the one who left. he’s the one who made this choice. why should he get to come back like this, slipping into your life again with a text that doesn’t even scratch the surface of what you’ve been feeling?

but another part of you,one that’s softer, more desperate, wants to answer. because despite everything, you still care. despite everything, you still wonder if he does too.

your fingers hover over the keyboard.

"yeah, i’m fine."

but that’s a lie. you erase it.

"why do you care?"

that’s too bitter. you erase that too.

you stare at the empty text box, feeling like no words could ever be enough to capture the storm inside you.

do you tell him the truth? that you’ve spent nights wondering where things went wrong, that his silence has been suffocating, that you’re still trying to figure out how to exist in a world where he isn’t by your side?

or do you pretend like you’re okay, like his absence hasn’t left a wound that refuses to heal?

you don’t know what hurts more, the thought of answering, or the thought of not answering at all.

you let out a slow breath, locking your phone and setting it down beside you. you’ll answer later. or maybe you won’t. maybe some things are better left unsaid.

—

sungho stares at his phone, waiting.

he doesn’t know what he’s expecting. maybe for you to reply right away. maybe for you to ignore him completely.

he wouldn’t blame you if you did.

when he made the decision to walk away, he thought it was the right thing to do. he thought he was protecting you from something, from him. but now, all he feels is regret.

he misses you. god, he misses you.

it hits him at the most unexpected moments,when he’s walking past the café where you used to sit together for hours, when he hears a song you both loved, when he finds himself reaching for his phone only to remember that he has no right to call you anymore.

he wonders if you hate him.

he wouldn’t blame you for that either.

but he had to do it. he keeps telling himself that. that he was only dragging you down with him. you deserved more than the mess he had become.

so why does it feel like he made the biggest mistake of his life?

he grips his phone tightly, staring at the last message he sent. three words. that’s all he could manage. anything more, and he might’ve said too much.

he wishes he could take it all back, the way he left, the way he made you question everything. but it’s too late for that, isn’t it?

he sighs, setting his phone down beside him. maybe you won’t answer. maybe this is the end, and he just has to accept it.

but deep down, he’s still hoping.

—

you don’t sleep that night.

the weight of his message lingers in your mind, pressing against your ribs, making it impossible to breathe.

by morning, you still haven’t replied.

you tell yourself it’s because you don’t know what to say. but maybe the truth is, you’re scared. scared that answering will make it hurt more. scared that it will open wounds you’re still trying to close.

but ignoring it doesn’t make the pain go away either.

so later that afternoon, when you’re sitting alone in your apartment, phone in hand, you finally let yourself type out a response.

"i don’t know."

you hesitate for a moment before hitting send.

it’s not much, but it’s honest. and right now, that’s all you can give.

—

somewhere along the way, the pain begins to fade. not all at once, not in a way that feels noticeable at first. but slowly, it shifts from something sharp and unbearable to something dull, something manageable. it’s still there, woven into the quiet moments, lingering in the spaces he used to fill, but it doesn’t consume you anymore.

days pass. maybe even weeks. you stop counting. there’s no point in marking time by his absence anymore. life moves forward, with or without him.

you see friends. you laugh at their jokes, even when they don’t feel as funny as they used to. you go to places that remind you of him, and while the ache is still there, it doesn’t break you. not like before. you remind yourself that healing isn’t linear, that some days will be harder than others. but you’re trying. and that’s enough.

then, one evening, you see him.

it’s not planned. it’s not something you could have prepared for. one moment, you’re walking down a familiar street, lost in thought, and the next, he’s there, standing just a few feet away from you, frozen mid-step like the universe pressed pause.

time slows. the sounds of the city fade into the background. all you can hear is your own heartbeat, loud and uneven in your chest.

sungho looks… the same. and yet, different. he’s wearing that jacket you used to tease him about, the one he insisted was his favorite. his hair is slightly messier than before, like he’s been running his fingers through it absentmindedly. but it’s his eyes that catch you off guard. they hold something unspoken, something heavy. something that mirrors everything you’ve been feeling since the night he walked away.

neither of you speak. you just stand there, staring at each other, caught in the space between what was and what could have been.

he looks like he wants to say something. his lips part, then press into a thin line, as if he’s searching for the right words and coming up empty. a flicker of hesitation crosses his face, followed by something softer, something almost like regret.

but in the end, he doesn’t say anything.

instead, he gives you a small nod. a silent acknowledgment. a quiet understanding.

it’s not an apology. it’s not an explanation. it’s not closure in the way you once thought you needed.

but maybe… it’s enough.

maybe not every story needs a perfect ending. maybe some things are meant to be left open-ended, unfinished, lingering in the spaces between words left unsaid.

maybe this is just another step forward.

so you nod back. just once. then, without another word, you turn and walk away.

this time, it doesn’t feel like breaking.

- ty for reading :)

bnd taglist - @bxnedo

perm taglist - @s0shroe

[variberry]

question for the tts famdom:

am i alone in thinking that quirin kinda sucks?

- i mean first and foremost we have the destruction of Old Corona due to the black rocks. given that he’s been a part of the brotherhood since its inception, Quirin is 100% fully aware of what they are. Frederic is an ass but what was Quirin hoping to achieve by lying to him about the rocks? it seemed like he was fine with letting Old Corina be completely destroyed and just moving everyone somewhere else, which he knows WILL NOT WORK because the rocks will continue to chase the sundrop until they reunite!! what was he thinking??

- then we have the withholding information from Varian. i know he’s a kid, but from what the viewers can tell, Quirin is under no orders to keep quiet about what the rocks are. it would not kill him to be like “hey, the rocks are powered by a stone with the power to decay, so maybe don’t mess with them until we collectively come up with a definitive plan of action.” there is so little effort put in to keeping Varian in the loop that it borders on stupidity. of course he’s going to take matters into his own hands if you’re acting like nothing’s wrong

- lastly, and this isn’t necessarily Quirin’s fault (*side-eyes Chris*) but there is no way in HELL that long ass note he wrote to Varian before getting encased in the amber just said “i’m proud of you.” there’s no way. throughout the episode, there are obvious allusions to what Quirin might want to share with varian— 1) the zoom in on the family portrait signifies that it might be something to do with Ulla’s implied death/disappearance and 2) the repeated appearance of the brotherhood symbol on the chest, helmet, and marking on Quirin’s hand, alluding to his role in the current situation. and we see him write a literal scroll of text. there are several close up shots on the letter, so we, as the audience, assume that it’s important and will mean something to Varian later on. fast forward to the season 3 premiere where Quirin is finally freed, and the note disintegrates after Rapunzel uses the decay incantation. well, shit. but now Quirin is alive to explain everything! hooray! but when varian says he needs to know what was in the note, Quirin pauses before simply going: “i’m so proud of you, son.” HUH??!? no. there is simply no way. it’s implied in the finale that Varian is kind of aware of the brotherhood, but there’s no explanation as to how on earth he found out. Eugene even has to remind him that Quirin was a part of it! Varian then gets upset at the idea of his father being affected by the talisman like Adira and Hector, implying that he doesn’t really understand how the brotherhood is connected to the moonstone. he can’t know and not know at the same time. if i’m missing something, please lmk but from what I gathered, Quirin has not explained anything to Varian. it’s implied that he wrote it all down in a letter he assumed Varian would read after his own death, but for some reason, when given the chance to, he doesn’t explain a thing. why? why was Quirin content with Varian finding out in the event of his death but not while he’s still alive? did Chris forget what he wrote???

- extra random gripe, but how old is Quirin? in the present, he looks a little older than Fred tbh but in the ‘25 years ago’ flashbacks to the Dark Kingdom, he looks the same! is the gray streak in his hair just part of his design? idk why this bugs me but it does

in conclusion: Quirin just pisses me off

anyway, lmk what you all think. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[celestie0]

Are we gonna have smut in ihm soon?🤭

man it’s really fuckin disappointing and sad to spend 10 hrs out of my week to try to create a meaningful story, one that resonates a lot with me and the things i’ve been through in my life, one that i hope my readers can resonate with and see themselves in, just to get asks like this.

like, picture this. you get super excited to write this story of yours, you plan aaaaaall these secondary plot lines, introduce new characters, create different character dynamics, try to include scenes that strengthen relationships with already existing character dynamics. plan out an ENTIRE story on paper (my ideas doc ALONE for ihm has 13k+ words) and try to leave subtle clues here and there in your chapters to support a build up of tensions that’ll lead to a payoff later on in the series. oh, and this is just the planning part. did you know that it takes the average person 1-2 hrs to write 1k words? the last ihm chapter was 14.1k words. go ahead and do the math, and try to figure out how long it must’ve taken me to write it. without even counting the time spent i spent editing it.

i know that this fandom is so horny brainrot fucked up to the nines, i’ve sincerely never seen a fandom that needs to touch grass more than the jjk fandom. and admittedly, i am also super excited to write more smut in my stories! sex is fuckin cool n sexy! but let me just get one thing straight to you horny anons that send me asks like this: my stories are STORIES first and foremost. they are not VESSELS for your FANTASIES. they are not PORN with PLOT. they are my stories, that i write drawing from my real life experiences. and, hey, news flash, they mean a fuckin lot to me! i’m assuming you didn’t do the math on the 14.1k word chapter thing, but i’ll tell you right now: it took me maybe 20 hours to write ch3 of ihm. something that probs took you 1 hour to read, and then ten seconds to send me this ask. surely your tonedeaf brain can at least understand that i wouldn’t spend that much fuckin’ time writing something if it was just supposed to be porn with plot.

listen, i know that i’m not the best writer. i understand that, after reading all of this, you might be thinking “shut the fuck up bitch, your writing aint alla that for me to respect you. we only care about the smut, don’t you understand?” that’s valid. i’ll respect that. i never claimed to be a great author, or deserving of anything meaningful from you in return. ultimately, it’s my choice to spend the time that i do writing, no one’s forcing me, and i would never expect people to support me either (although i am always infinitely grateful for it and tbh the support is what keeps me writing). but what i don’t deserve is to be sent careless asks that make me feel like you see no purpose in my stories other than sex. other than smut. other than a penis going inside a fucking vagina.

anon, you know what would make me excited to continue writing my story? excited to get to the parts where characters ARE intimate with one another? is if you maybe threw in something as simple as a fuckin “hey i loved that part in ihm ch3 where [x]. thought it was a cool thing to do. btw, looking forward to the smut!” would’ve taken you a solid 30 seconds. it just took me 30 seconds to type that. or? you know what else you can do? go sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and spend 20+ hrs writing a 14k+ oneshot on the smut that you so badly wanna see. it’s your choice. really! i mean it. go be the change you wanna see in this world.

i have never once felt like i deserved any of the support that i’ve gotten. idk how to write pretty prose. or moving stories. i read some other people’s work on this app and i’m genuinely gobsmacked by how talented they are and constantly think how shitty my writing is in comparison. but my thing is that i am at least trying my best to write stories that people feel worthy of reading, because i feel like that’s the kind of respect that an audience deserves. i am trying my best to put my character and integrity into things that i write, even if what i produce ends up falling flat or doesn’t come across. but this ask isn’t an isolated issue. this issue has come up multiple times in the time i’ve had my blog, where people just reduce my stories down to smut smut smut smut smut when are we gonna get smut when are they gonna fuck write more smut in kickoff you should make ihm couple fuck like rabbits in the next chapter oh we better see them do [redacted redacted redacted] or else imma [redacted redacted redacted]. my fics are literally TAGGED with "slow burn romance"...i am fully transparent about it. and while i’ve also gotten so many meaningful heartfelt reactions to my stories (which, btw, were tastefully horny…yes, there is a way to send an author an ask that is tastefully horny while also appreciating their work!! insane wild concept!! /sarcasm), unfortunately these bad interactions will always stick.

like. would you ask someone you knew irl that was writing a novel, when they're gonna write the smut for it? would you tell them to hurry tf up and finish their novel just so that you can read the smut? would you send them your smut fantasies and be like "include this in your novel for ME because I want it "? no. because they'd think you're creepy n weird asf n overbearing then drop you. so why is it okay to do that to an author on tumblr? what happened to manners? what happened to decorum? especially for creators who are making you content for FREE.

if i was an author that wrote purely smut oneshots, i’d maybe kinda sorta understand (still think it's wrong asf, regardless of the content of stories that you write). but i feel like, after the 200k+ words that i’ve poured into my two stories (including the chapters i’ve written that i haven’t yet released) where it’s CLEARLY evident that these stories are much more than smut, i’d think that i deserve treatment a little bit better than this.

i’m done. i’m done trying to be nice. i’m done just silently deleting rude asf asks because i don’t wanna cause a scene. i’m done worrying about hurting people’s feelings, when I’M the one that is getting my feelings hurt while you just get to hide behind an anon.

i. am. just. fucking. done.

[galactic-magick]

Hey idk if you do requests but I’ve kind of been searching for people who write for Severance and you’re one of the only people I’ve found. If you’re up to it, I’d love to see a hurt/comfort Mark S fluff oneshot where he’s calming you down from a panic attack. I think that’d heal me tbh.

It was hard to decide where in the story to place this oneshot, but I figured the ORTBO was probably the most panic-inducing part of the show lol. I hope you enjoy and I hope this can be soothing in some way.

-

You have no idea where you are. You have no idea where to go. You’ve never felt so cold and so hot at the same time.

You scream the names of your friends, but there’s no answer. You call for Mr. Milchick, Miss Huang, hell, you even beg Kier himself for a sign that someone else is alive.

Nothing.

You’re outside, you can gather that much. Snow and trees as far as your eyes can see, and mountains and rocks blocking the rest. Your breath is visible in the chilly air, and when you look down you see you’re bundled in a heavy winter coat and boots. How did you get from the elevator to here?

What if this is the afterlife? Hell isn’t supposed to be cold, so what if this is heaven?

You take some deep inhales and exhales before trudging forward, hoping to find some semblance of other human life. No matter where you are, you can’t be the only person here, right?

You walk for at least a mile, or at least what feels like one. Still nothing. The sun is starting to set ever so slightly, and you feel a bit hungry. What if you can’t find shelter before it gets dark? What if you can’t find food? You don’t know anything about surviving in the wilderness. Perhaps your outie does, but there’s no way for you to access that knowledge if it exists.

You keep walking, shouting for your friends until your throat hurts. The pounding of your heart quickens, and the shivers turn into violent shaking. You try to keep going, but trip on the root of a tree concealed by the snow and fall to your knees. You start crying, not because the fall hurt much, but because the panic finally overtakes you. You lean against the tree, curling into yourself and completely shutting down. You feel nothing but crippling anxiety and terror of your situation, horrid thoughts of what’s going to happen to you and your friends. Is this how innies are sentenced to die? Are you fated to freeze in tears?

“Y/N!” you hear a distant familiar voice.

It couldn’t be.

The screams of your name get louder and louder, but you’re crying so hard you can’t see the people coming towards you clearly. Your body can barely move, but you try to sit up.

It is Mark. And the rest of your MDR friends following shortly after.

“Y/N! Holy shit, are you okay?” Mark immediately wraps you tightly in his arms, your form still shaking uncontrollably. He kisses the top of your head, rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you. “You’ll be okay. Breathe, okay? We found you. Shhh…”

You still can’t bring yourself to speak, but you feel yourself slowly calming down. Something about Mark’s embrace is incredibly grounding.

“Are you hurt? How long have you been out here by yourself?”

You shake your head at the first question, “N-No...I don’t know…”

“It’s okay. I’m right here.”

You grip onto him, your tears soaking a spot on his coat, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“Ah, seems that you’ve finally found the fifth member of MDR.” you all turn towards the voice to see Mr. Milchick approaching. “I’m so pleased to see you all together.”

“What the fuck, dude?” Dylan exclaims. “You just left Y/N out here to die?”

“I sincerely apologize, Y/N. Your outie must’ve wandered away from the group before you were switched awake. It was never Lumon’s intention to separate you from the group.”

“Oh, so we’re just blaming outies now? I can get behind that!”

“Careful, Dylan.”

Mark’s attention is still fully focused on you, despite the anger brewing inside him. How could they let you get lost like this? He’s helped you through milder panic attacks before at the office, but he’s never seen you this bad.

He helps you stand up as the other three keep arguing with Mr. Milchick, checking in with you constantly. He keeps an arm around you, and you slowly regain your balance and senses. You’ve stopped crying, and you’re not shaking anymore.

Marks stays attached to you as the night goes on, sitting beside you when the group arrives at the campfire. There’s tents set up for everyone, and Mr. Milchick begins reading a story about Kier and his brother while Miss Huang plays some music.

The story is quite ridiculous, and honestly you’re thankful for the good laugh you get at the end of it. Helly makes some jokes, all of which are shut down fiercely by Milchick, but you still can’t help it. Even when you’re all punished by losing marshmallow privileges.

You’re all sent to your separate tents to sleep, but you sneak out of yours when Mr. Milchick and Miss Huang are gone. You peek into Mark’s tent, and a smile stretches across his face at the sight of you.

“Can I sleep here? I don’t think I can sleep alone.”

“Of course.” he scooches over, and you lie down beside him.

“Isn’t it weird that none of us have ever slept? Only our outies get to sleep.”

“I know,” he agrees. “What do you think we’ll dream about?”

“Scary number, probably.” you laugh.

He chuckles along with you, but his eyes remain full of concern, as they’ve been all evening. He reaches out to brush your cheek with his fingers, then flutters them over your hair and shoulders.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“I mean...not really,” you admit. “Panic attacks take a lot out of me. I’m exhausted.”

“How can I help?”

“Can you just...hold me? Until I fall asleep?”

He smiles and nods, pulling you into him. You feel your body relax, and you shut your eyes. You don’t know how long it takes for sleep to overtake you, but you drift away with a warmth in your soul.

[ceedak]

can we get a ceedak timeline 🤔 i feel like there’s a lot idk abt them fr 😭😭

yes u absolutely can i could talk about them forever and ever 🥳🥳

disclaimer: i do wanna say this is just from what i’ve gathered because i didn’t become super fixated on nfl rpf until last year </3 one day i’ll do a legit deep dive like an insane person and update with all my findings…

second disclaimer: im delusional yes and a part of me straight up thinks that they’ve had to have hooked up at least once bc i love to psychoanalyze people i'll never meet but i’ll make sure to say when i’m being fully delusional KSDJFHSKDS

putting it under a read more because i’m sure it’ll be much longer than necessary

also i will reblog this and add links to some videos!!

SO before i get into like when ceedee was drafted and such i wanna talk about how invisible string coded they are because i love shit like this sm

both were born in louisiana only about an hour and a half apart from each other until ceedee moved to texas as a child after hurricane katrina hit (he’s said he’s moved around a couple of times as kid in interviews before)

dak went to mississippi st. in college and ceedee’s dream school was LSU (rival colleges… 🚬) but he had committed to oklahoma (also they wouldn’t have met or anything in college anyway because dak was drafted in 2016 and ceedee started playing in college in 2017 but i digress it makes my brain light up anyway lol)

when dak was drafted he was projected to go like late second round/early third round of the draft but 🗿 he got into some trouble beforehand (driving under the influence) and ended up falling to the 4th round (after the front office kept trying to trade up to get a different backup QB)

dak also had to compete for his spot as a backup and was named starter after romo was injured in 2016. this was dak’s rookie year and he led them to the playoffs - almost to the nfc championship game. after this he basically took the job from romo

okay so FAST FORWARD to the 2020 draft. ceedee was projected to go top 10 and he fell all the way to SEVENTEEN so the cowboys were able to grab him then (drafted bpa instead of for need)

idk all of this is just very <333 to me that so many things managed to fall into place just right and they managed to find each other on the same team out of THIRTY TWO teams it makes me weeeep 🤧 also just something else that i think is very cute because i truly am a little insane: ceedee was born april 8th and dak’s jersey number is 4 and ceedee’s is 88 so 4/8 ALL THE DOTS CONNECT SOMEHOW…

so we’ll go through a teensy bit about dak i suppose and then ceedee this won’t be too long

dak: baby of his family and has two brothers. his parents divorced when he was little and he was very close with his mom before she passed away in 2013 (he’s started a foundation since then for cancer research and suicide prevention/mental health). went to mississippi st, cowboys starter his rookie year, etc etc. he also lost his brother to suicide in 2020 and he’s said before he feels a responsibility to live on and carry his and his mom’s legacy throughout his life. he’s like suuuuuper underrated in the league i feel and a lot of cowboys fans are complete assholes to him all the time it makes me so mad cos they could literally never ever make me hate him - he makes me so weepy 😭😭😭 umm but yeah he’s donated a ton to children cancer funds too and donated during BLM protests and things like that - he won the walter payton man of the year award. he just had a baby and got engaged in october (remember for the yaoi LOL) ok im gonna stop here cause i don’t wanna rant too much lol

btw i know what you are dak prescott:

ceedee: MY BELOVED… my favorite my absolute favorite. he has two brothers and two little sisters. idk if he’s the eldest or not tbh i see different things all the time that he’s the second eldest whatever not that important i guess. so blah blah college blah blah - he wears 88 on the team because that’s considered really special to the cowboys franchise and is reserved for elite receivers. idk he’s the most beautiful man ever and he does a lot of donating too - i know he participates in a lot of football youth camps a lot to help kids out and he likes to provide meals to families around thanksgiving and christmas time. a loooot of cowboys fans have criticized him for not being that much of a leader and pouting a lot on the sidelines (which he does sometimes… my mimir) but i think this last season he’s reaaaaallyyy taken a step into more of a leader type position especially with dak being out and he’s proven himself more than enough. he LOOOVES spending money on clothes it’s so cute… gonna be a sad day when the class war happens and i’m faced with cedarian lamb. ummm i also legit think he’s gay and closet is made of glass but whatever

see this is the problem i never stfu but okay CEEDAK what you actually asked about ksjdksjdks

PRE-2020 SEASON: this was before ceedee was drafted (some stuff i found last night) and this is what i mean when i say i haven’t done like a deep dive into these things bc i’m sure there’s soo much more but this kinda gives the general vibes

“I was like a little kid at the playground,” CeeDee tells us. (on the first time Dak texted him to invite him over to his house, says it was surreal.) august 21, 2020

and i actually hunted the exact clip down where he says this: (will reblog with link - skip to 4:25 he talks for like a minute or so - sorry the audio’s funky it’s because of covid so all the reporters weren’t in the room i’m pretty sure) DELUSIONS: you can’t tell me ceedee wasn’t nursing a crush here idgaf

2020 SEASON:

ceedee’s rookie year

personal stuff happened with dak before the season started - this is when he lost his brother to suicide and he’s been really outspoken about mental health since then. on top of that he broke his ankle during week 5 of the season (and tried to snap it back into place by himself on the field). dak was performing on like a sort of insane level before the injury happened so </3 what could’ve been and all that… the what-ifs of it all… so that year they weren’t able to play together as much

Oct 11, 2020: “CeeDee Lamb said he texted Dak as soon as he got out of the shower. Thanked him for everything he’s done for him and they were gonna hold it down for him until they see him on the field again.” (after the game dak got hurt in)

POST 2020 SEASON:

"He came back from his second surgery about two months ago so he’s walking around, rehabbing, doing everything right," Lamb said Wednesday. "It’s great to see, especially when you seen him go down. You saw the look in his eyes and you saw how sad he was and how much this game meant to him. Just to see him smiling again, happy again, being with his guys is a great deal."

"First day he kind of caught me by surprise with his arm strength," Lamb said. "He knows the little nuances of the game to be better. He makes it easy to follow him, if you will."

2021 SEASON

ceedee’s second year, he was in a WR room with amari cooper (currently on the bills) and michael gallup (now retired) blah blah season happened whateverrrr but AFTER this season the front office (i’ll always be mad about this lol) traded amari to the browns for a 5th round pick 💀 hence THIS!!! which i consider the #Real beginning of ceedak:

“Dak Prescott asked for CeeDee Lamb’s locker to be moved next to his: ‘My two other locker mates left, so I was a little lonely. With him being young, hopefully he’s my WR until I’m done playing. Just bring him closer, more conversations, he’s right there to talk and communicate.’”

said he had no doubt ceedee could become his "main guy"

here’s some fun stuff i found from 2021 too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3hCmIZN-YI&ab_channel=DallasCowboys (7 min mark this was after a game winning td in overtime against new england)

“CeeDee Lamb on game-winning 35-yard TD: ‘It was the best feeling ever, honestly.’”

2022 SEASON:

https://youtu.be/T73xGDsFiVo?si=Qn_dwK1yfnHPiMya talks about dak here at 7:50 “all i need is him” 🤧

he’s actually said this a couple times lol he says shit like “we’re all we got” about each other - he’s said it this most recent season too so <3

dak injured his thumb this season though so he was out for like 7 weeks i think i can’t remember off the top of my head lol but again another season where they didn’t get to play much together

fun 2022 stuff:

“Last year, Cowboys caked Dak in the face on the field for his 28th birthday. On his 29th today, CeeDee told us they planned to do the same in the locker room. Hoped Dak would think he was safe after no cake on the field, and then locker room ambush.”

“Scene here: Dak was talking to us at his locker. CeeDee walks past wearing metallic red lens sunglasses indoors and eating chicken. Says the key to following up ass-kicking is ‘keep kicking ass.’”

“Dak on CeeDee’s vibe: Yeah, cool as hell - says ‘keep kicking ass’ while he’s eating.”

“Dak Prescott walked by during our interview with CeeDee Lamb - QB1: CeeDee’s that dude! / WR1: Happy birthday, Dak!”

link posted in reblog: skip to 2:30 he almost says he loves dak lol also very

2023: THE SEASON OF CEEDAK!!!

https://youtu.be/7_WRIzb5fPA?si=R0TETc2qtW0IOP5P the infamous "was gonna take him out for dinner tonight" clip is from this aka what got me hooked on ceedak lol (this interview is just so good in general i love ceedee sm - def recommend watching! such a nice look at his personality)

this is where my delusions take over i deadass think they hooked up at LEAST once around this time lol maybe end of 2022 season maybe early 2023 season IDK but anyway during this year the offense was soo wack for a couple of weeks until the bye week and then ceedee made some noise about it bc he felt like he wasn't being as utilized (which is true i'm so serious mccarthy was SUCH an annoying coach lol) but quotes:

“Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb said Dak Prescott approached him and said: ‘If you have a problem with anything, just come up to me and we’ll talk about it.’ Lamb said he and Dak worked on getting on the same page their first day back in the building after the 49ers loss.”

Dak: ‘I mean, a frustrated player that feels like we all could’ve done better and feels like he can change the game, I understand it. I really do. So it’s in the sense of just communicating with him… CeeDee is a guy that I’ll never lose confidence in and trust who he is and understand why he’s frustrated. But at the end of the day, he’s a leader. It’s about him leading other guys and picking other guys up and him just trying to make sure we’re all pushing our best. That’s where the frustration is, we have to remove that. And he will. He’s a young player that’s growing by the day and he’ll only get better. He’ll be better because of that.’

but after they switched the offense around dak and ceedee went craaaazyyy - ceedee was named all pro, dak was in mvp talks (should have won it to be honest i'm sorry lamar i still love you <3) but 2023 cowboys will seriously haunt me forever lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sudQu72KDXs&ab_channel=NFLonFOX

DELUSIONS: dak announced he was having a baby like two weeks after this game SO let’s just say…. maybe…. perhaps… they were hooking up… ceedee probably knew before the public did - not saying that’s why he seems a little upset at the beginning of this clip cause who knows 🤷‍♀️ like i said DELUSIONS but… i can’t help it when the timeline timelines don’t shoot the messenger

also i do wanna mention that dak’s fiance follows a loooot of cowboys players on ig but she does not follow ceedee and he doesn’t follow her AGAIN just delusions…. but… iykyk 👀

sooo they were poppin off in 2023, ceedee was breaking records and shit, won nfc east, went to the playoffs and then i DON'T wanna talk about it i have my theories about wtf happened during that playoffs packers game but 💀💀 anyway the offseason before the 2024 season was genuinely the worst of my life because BOTH ceedee and dak had to get extended and jerry jones (who is the worst) waited until after training camp to get them both signed lol so ceedee wasn't participating in training camp at all which affected them in the beginning of the 2024 season which was a complete mess A MESS but here's some fun stuff after ceedee signed his extension/during that offseason

“Remarkable. That’s who CeeDee Lamb is. … He’s special. He’s just getting going and as long as I’m here, he’s gonna keep stacking these records year after year.”

“CeeDee Lamb strongly defended Dak: No one deserves the criticism that he gets. The way he gets talked about is crazy.”

2023-2024 OFFSEASON:

worst months of my life lol ceedee was holding out for his new contract and didn’t get it signed until like… august i think? anddd dak was signed fucking three hours before kickoff the first week of the season lol i HATE this front office

but here’s some fun quotes after ceedee was signed:

CeeDee Lamb: “We were texting quite a bit. Obviously I missed being out there, competing with him… for is being so in tune together and all it takes is one text message or one conversation, one phone call… for us both… having the same passion for the game, same love for the game. I want what’s best for Dak and vice versa. Shout out to him too for getting that bag, too. We’ll be together for the next five years.”

Dak Prescott on CeeDee Lamb’s added muscle weight: “He’s wearing a lot more sleeveless shirts. As long as the speed is there, and it looks like it is (in practice), I’m fine with however big he is.” LMAO??

Dak Prescott: “I peeped the biceps. He’s wearing more sleeveless shirts now.”

Dak Prescott recently on CeeDee Lamb: “He’s talented. He works hard. He’s special. He’s the best receiver in the league for a reason. And I’ve seen Instagram videos. I know you’ve seen him. He’s working. And he works hard. So I have no angst, no worries about when he gets here that we’re not going to pick up where we left off. And when you're a stud like that and you’re smart like he is and you’re good at communicating, that makes that process that much easier. So it’s not like we’ve got to build something. We’ve got that. We just got to reignite it when he gets here.”

on how much ceedee worked with dak at the field at dak’s house even though he was staying away from the team: “Often. I would say quite often. Anytime that I’m back in town, and he’s obviously back here, I hit him and then… it’s very… good having a rich quarterback.”

Dak Prescott’s thoughts on the tandem of him and CeeDee Lamb being compared to legendary duos like Joe Montana and Jerry Rice: “I think that says a lot just cause we’ve only done it for four years and you just named some of those duos that did it for their whole careers. But then again, I feel like we can be better than all of them… so love the comparisons, they sound good and all, but hopefully one day people are saying these next duos and next tandems can be like me and CeeDee.” (i will kms over this quote one day)

i’m sure there’s things i’m missing but this is already sooooo long lol so

2024 SEASON:

WORST SEASON OF MY LIFEEEEEE / ceedak angst era

the front office set this team up to fail and let like a ton of players walk in the offseason, didn’t use free agency, injury riddled team, had a bunch of rookies starting but anyway just gonna go game by game really quick because this is when i was locked tf in and it’s more recent so ?? more detail seems alright when it's necessary also i wrote so many half-finished post-game fics this season to cope with how terrible it was i’m cryingggg it was insane

cowboys vs browns: i was at this game :) good game they won

cowboys vs saints: blocked this game out actually!!!

cowboys vs ravens: fake ass comeback also the game ceedee CRASHED OUT on the field lskdjslkdjsskjdsk which is so funny bc i literally love lamar sm and was so excited to watch but… my players wanted to make me MISERABLE

this was said a day or two after the game by ceedee (bc he fumbled during it and then wasn't there for post game media people andddd was yelling at dak on the sideline 🗿)

“Our relationship has, if anything, gotten stronger. Don’t let what, what’s out there fool you. We’re brothers to the end. We know that we all we got, and I tip my hat off to him. I got the utmost respect for him.”

“So with that being said, everything is gonna come out - the energy, the passion, the love, the fight - and then we’ll make up in the end. So no, no craziness now. Don’t.”

dak also said something about his rhythm with ceedee being a “rare feeling” which… okay internalized homophobia but i CANNOT for the life of me find the actual quote i’ve searched through my gallery but it’s not there </3 if i find i’ll add later (i’m pretty sure it was after the baltimore game but i can’t remember)

cowboys vs giants: this is a tremicah game no need to mention ceedak idt - nasty ugly win but whatever

cowboys vs steelers: dak prescott giving me a heart attack 12 fucking times during this game

cowboys vs lions: don’t wanna talk about it! i’m a hater! always will be sorry!!! ben johnson statpadding on my sorry ass terrible team i was SICKKKKK

BYE WEEK: my trials and tribulations…. my nfl rpf…

CeeDee Lamb on getting in some extra work with Dak Prescott during their bye week: “We love our bye weeks. We took advantage of it. We got right. We used every opportunity to get better and I feel like it’s going to show. We got on some routes, and obviously the timing is everything. We needed that.”

now ummm this is the week dak got engaged so. which is really funny because after the announcement post on ig ceedee went GHOST on instagramksjdjks like i went back to check because i’m crazy (these are delusions btw) and he had been posting like once a week… maybe once every two weeks PRETTY consistently like for at least a couple of months but after the engagement happened there was pretty much nothing for like… almost two months?? ummm which AGAIN i’m not saying anything i’m not insinuating anything buuuuut…… buuuuut….. also it’s really fucking funny because in this same interview ceedee dropped that he left the country during the bye week but didn’t post it on socials at all so i’m like ohhhh… you’re coping w the engagement… i see LMAO anyway

cowboys vs 49ers: sigghhhh….. lets get into it

SO this was a loss but two ceedee touchdowns.. i’m leaving with something!!!

“Yeah, I found CeeDee,” Prescott said when reflecting back on Lamb’s breakout in the Bay Area. “He did a good job of getting open, running all of his routes hard no matter where he was, if he was the one or if he was backside on a concept. Loved his intentionality in the game. He kind of said something like that to me during the game, midway through the game, like ‘Yeah, we’re back.’ And that was before, I think, his two touchdown drives. So just him even playing with that confidence, communicating that, it gives me a lot of confidence.”

super hopeful right maybe they'll really connect again and things'll be fine LOL

cowboys vs falcons: worst game ever dak tore his hamstring off the bone like a fucking idiot and ceedee sprained his AC joint and would not stop going back out into the game i was ready to kms

cowboys vs eagles: not talking about it idc

cowboys vs texans: loss because ofc but whatever ceedak hugged before the game tho so i didn’t gaf about the loss - i can’t find the clip rn but if i do i’ll post it

cowboys vs commanders: this is when i accepted they were tanking and then they decided to just be elite for whatever reason lol made me so happy though ceedee was so happy <33

cowboys vs giants: whatever

cowboys vs bengals: worst fucking game of my life nothing to do with ceedak but one of my other fave player’s (i also ship him w ceedee idgaf) knee EXPLODED so that was so much fun to deal with

cowboys vs panthers: i still can’t believe bryce young decided to forget how to play football in this game im crying

cowboys vs tampa: again they just wanted to be elite for whatever reason

cowboys vs: eagles: don’t wanna talk about it idc

cowboys vs commanders: WHATEVER thanks for the 12th draft pick ashton jeanty you will be a cowboy

SO. that’s basically where everything's at lmfao worst season EVERRRRR with ceedak ANGST um but yeah hopefully 2025 will be better... i’m cautiously optimistic because their old coach is finally FINALLY gone because he was really limiting them and their ability you know? 2023 season was amazing and then 2024 started and it was like… mccarthy just reverted back to his old scheme that wasn’t working. it was really annoyingksdkskds. but the new coach (despite it seeming like a silly hire) had a decent press conference (that ceedee didn’t attend bc he was playing around in paris LOL) andddd he seems to be setting up a nice staff around him so hopefully hopefully hopefully 2025 is a lot better and ceedak will save me again… can’t wait for training camp omg

anyway if u read all this i’m SO sorry i hope it’s… expansive enough?? i wanted to include kind of how it’s been through the years and i had a lot more to add for 2023/2024 because that’s when my adhd was just like Yea let’s hyperfixate on this so. been stuck here for awhile and i’ll probably be stuck here for years and years and years <3

[realchemistry]

About Maddie's reaction to ~the incident

One of the things I think is important to point out, because I haven't seen or read anyone talking about it, is Maddie's reaction when Buck told her the truth about the basketball incident. When Buck first arrived, she was all smiles, probably happy to have Buck there. Then she asked about how Eddie was doing and Buck said he hadn't talked to him because what happened on the basketball court was not an accident.

Buck confessed that he might have meant to hurt Eddie because he was pissed, felt left out, and he guessed he was trying to get Eddie's attention (I’m not gonna go Buddie here, but he legit literally said exactly this which !!!).

Her face started to morph, the change in her whole demeanor, the horror of it all... she was really really mad. I don't think JLH got the proper credit for it. It's truly remarkable, her face spoke volumes about everything that was going through her head at the moment. You could see Maddie thinking about her past, about Doug, about how he hurt her and the terrible ways in which he justified that behavior as she was telling Buck that you do not hurt people to get their attention and not to do it again.

The episode didn't make that connection explicit (they had her babbling about Sarahs instead, more on that in the last paragraph), and I KNOW that if roles were reversed, part of the fandom would've lost their mind, since they love to portray Eddie as violent and abusive towards Buck when there's nothing in canon to back that up, quite the opposite as of this episode actually. Since Eddie was the one who got hurt, it was no big deal, it was pretty much forgotten immediately after. I thought it was a huge deal, I thought tptb didn't really address how problematic that was. I thought the only one who reflected the gravity of the situation was Jen, maybe thanks to her character's past.

BTW, I don't think it's in character for Buck to do this, I think he does know better, and he really isn't and hasn't ever been the type to resort to violence. Having said that, that's what tptb decided to do on screen, maybe as a way to show he was struggling with his identity... But that’s kinda terrible, like, he’s confused at this point about his feelings so his first instinct is to harm his friend out of jealousy? Also, we didn't get to see anything else on the matter after. It was such an odd choice, tbh, cause yes, Buck and Eddie probably talked about it for a second and then made up offscreen, but to have a character be violent towards his friend just to push a storyline forward, a storyline about bisexuality of all things, disregarding everything about said character and then not acknowledging it... Some very bad choices were made. Once again, I think tptb prioritized moving the plot forward over making sense and that's just something I truly hate with my whole heart.

Characters cannot have their choices and actions dictated by the plot or, at least, it can't feel that way to the audience. That's just bad writing through and through. Tptb did this a lot this season, and I understand that time was pressing because of the strike and all, but they need to do better. They are professionals getting paid to do a job, the least they can do is actually make it all make sense for the fans and stay away from toxic portrayals of LGBTQ+ characters (Hen cheating, anyone?).

The whole story about the Sarahs was really kinda ridiculous, honestly, I think they just had to give Jen more to do but a follow up without it would've been much better. Of course, seeing as their intention was to completely ignore the gravity of the situation, they simply couldn't mention Doug at all cause that would've required Buck and Eddie discuss this seriously instead of completely forgetting about it.

[nadekofannumber1]

which of the other characters do you think it would be best for Nadeko to marry?

I personally don’t think Nadeko really needs marriage tbh, like if Nadeko’s partner wanted it then sure but I don’t think it’s something the character would prioritize over her own goals by the end.

That being said, of the other characters the best ones for Nadeko to marry are probably Uroko or Tsukihi. I just find that a lot of the pairings outside of the more major ones probably wouldn’t work well for marriage due to things like personal needs or lifestyle incompatibility. There’s also a third factor I like to think of as plot shaudenfrade, that can both increase and decrease marriage chance with Nadeko.

Tsukihi has an interest in marriage and I think she would call Nadeko the day it’s legalized in Japan and ask to get married on a whim. This scenario exists regardless of whether or not one reads Tsukihi as gay or into Nadeko, even if she’s dating someone else at the moment. Because it’s a whim, it makes sense for her. Wether or not it’s committed to is another question. “Gay marriage is legal? I should go do that, sounds fun.” They could also get divorced if Tsukihi gets bored though, she’s not the type to stay in a relationship she doesn’t want to be in. I think it’s a good choice as both would probably just orbit their lifestyles and then clash when it’s time, they also both elevate each other forward in an odd way. Another thing is it would open up at least 7 gag opportunities I could see Nisio taking. I can imagine a bizzare gag where Koyomi can’t fault gay marriage for being legalized because that could in theory let him get more sisters, only to be immediately recede that statement upon the news bc he reaaaalllllyyyy doesn’t want to talk to Nadeko and feels extremely awkward, lamenting that other women he knows would make better sisters (in law) or smth. I think at least one of the fire sisters getting gay married would probably be a big gag they could both go for and use liberally outside of Kanbaru’s reaction tbh. I’ll name every gag I think could happen another time.

For Uroko I think that it’s one of those things where it just happens and Nadeko has to live with it. Like Nadeko checks the mail one day and finds out she’s married. It’s probably a political move from the Gaen family realistically, maybe to avert Nadeko’s absorption into it she’s married to Uroko as a power move. As a couple it kinda depends on how they feel about each other at age 19, when they were 15 they kind of just fought and then got homoerotic, but at 19 if they softened their blows they could develop some sort of relationship, it just kind of has a “boomer marriage” energy too it. Honestly I think that the effects on the plot are the biggest draw bc it would have some soap opera effects on both of them. Nadeko also getting gay married not only before Kanbaru but suddenly gaining her as like an in law would be so very. How does Yotsugi factor into this? Good question!

I think it’s important for Nadeko to break traditional ideals in my mind. So the idea of Nadeko getting married sort makes me think of that part in shino2 where Nadeko remembers how on her work sheet as a young girl that when writing abt what she wanted to be in the future, she lied and wrote she wanted to be a wife while Tsukihi said something she actually wanted in the moment that being to build a school. Independence and individualism are very important to Nadeko’s character which is why I don’t really think that it’s necessary to have Nadeko get married regardless of character pair, it’s not something she has to do. It’s more on the ideal of breaking tradition of needing romance. Tuxedo Nadeko would be nice to see though.

Who knows maybe Nisio will throw a curve ball, and do something about oddity marriage, and we will see how that impacts everything. An oddity marriage arc could be cool, we could even get new characters with it!

I think Nadeko getting gay married would fundamentally break tradition anyway so I’m very for it, and while I think the character would be content in trying love how she pleases, Nadeko getting gay married would do so much to the narrative.

—

But if anyone asked me abt other characters getting married:

I think Suruga would be happier with someone who’s more of a homebody but can challenge her, characters who live off the grid or live constantly traveling probably wouldn’t be ideal to her.

Tsubasa lives off the grid and even when going back on it I could see her just, going off the grid again at any point. I think that for marriage it would be like, someone unlucky enough to enter peril constantly, someone on the same level as her in like a shonen yaoi way but for girls, or there would need to be a new chapter after the big boss arc.

I think Sodachi could get married but I could easily see her orbit like these weird situationships she has forever. I feel like I’ve got an idea of what she likes but I think more research from the top Sodachi scholars would go much smoother.

I could see Karen getting married or having been married for a while and Koyomi just ignoring that on purpose while Karen is just content with it all, or Koyomi only feeling like he could accept her marriage as like a bizarre plot to get another sister. It would start as a siscon gag as a distraction but then the feeling underneath would be some of his regrets possibly like failing Sodachi with him just musing on that past connection and the other world where they became family. Most Karen arcs are Koyomi centric, but I think if this is what it takes for her to have more of her own story I’d be happy with it.

I think for anyone in trio there’s a lot of problems specifically in how oddities work. Like bc names and identities are so important in the series and they haven’t fully answered those questions especially since the latest arc as of writing is about names, so there’s really just a whole lot to say. I think too much about the lore to consider this casually. Logistically the only human strong enough to marry someone who’s more oddity than human is probably Nadeko, but there’s so much to consider there that I thought about it too much and will thus do so on a later date.

Can Nadeko free every oddity from their chains due to yumeing so hard that she changes the rules? Good question. Would she do it? Depends.

There’s some others I could mention but I’ll stick with this for now.

[adelrambles]

I am so sorry I promise I’ll stop spamming you about Bishop now (maybe.)

Do you think Bishop could ever be in a healthy relationship? What would the dynamic be like with evil Bishop versus Fast Forward Bishop?

And no I don’t mean Stockshop. 😭

Oh no worries at all I'm enjoying your questions!! Please feel free to spam to your heart's desire. Sorry it took so long to get around to this one, I have admittedly not put much thought into Bishop in romantic scenarios, so I had to think on it a bit!

So, could Bishop ever be in a healthy relationship? Short answer NO. NOT AT ALL LOL

Slightly longer answer, there is some potential depending on how you like to interpret Fast Forward!Bishop. I think it's impossible for Present-day Bishop to be in any sort of healthy romance (and I'll go into way more detail than neccessary about that below 👍) but if you take FF's presentation of the character at face value, there's certainly a possibility.

So long answer, Bishop is one of the single most self-centered, unexamined people to walk the damn earth. There are a lot of factors that go into why he would be just, the absolute worst in a relationship, but the biggest issue is he doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself. If we throw everything else out and consider a hypothetical where he enters a relationship for the relationship's sake, he is not capable or willing to see things from a partner's perspective. In any disagreement he will be unwilling to consider he could be wrong, and will go to great lengths to ensure the other person concedes or backs down. He is a paranoid control freak who would not stand for anything less than being agreed with and obeyed, and he is perfectly willing to break someone down to achieve that. And in a scenario where, indeed, his interest is actually in the other person, we know he has a terrible possessive streak. As long as his interest holds, there is no out for the hypothetical partner. He is going to be emotionally and mentally abusive at best.

Moving more to the particulars of what he'd want a relationship for, it's worth pointing out that Bishop is very single-minded and relentless in his ultimate goal. I find it very difficult to consider a scenario where any single person would be considered worthwhile enough to distract him from that. We've seen him willing to sacrifice personal friends in-canon for the sake of his experiments, (if you ascribe to the theory that J. Finn was mutated on purpose to some degree,) so his work is ALWAYS going to come first. But that's the nicer option, because there is always the possibility that he would consider a relationship if it benefitted his greater goal (OR fed his ego tbh.) In which case, he's only in it for what he can get out of the other person, and the second they've outlived their usefulness to him, well-- I guess it depends on how much sensitive information they know, by that point.

But, okay! Let's consider President Bishop. He's certainly less likely to lure in a partner just to use them and then dispose of them, so he has that going for him. With him, there is a lot of room for how you want to interpret his "change of heart." You could take it at as presented in the show, or read more into his actions based on what we know about his past. Personally, I prefer the latter, but I'll examine both for the sake of thoroughness, and also for funsies.

So let's assume Bishop is being genuine in how he acts, first. In this case, I think there's a decent chance he could learn to be a good partner, though I don't think he'd start out that way and I doubt it'd come naturally to him loL. His job requires a lot of time and attention from him, and he is always going to prioritize it; he is, after all, "a bigger picture kind of guy." Kindness does not come naturally to him, so in times of stress he may default to meaner actions. However, he is also pretty effective in learning and adapting, so with good communication he probably won't make the same mistakes too often. In this scenario I think time constraint really is the biggest obstacle, given his job.

Now, assuming his Good Guy act is just a mask for politics? He's still pretty damn toxic. Bishop's tactics have changed, but his personality remains pretty similar. I'm not sure his pleasant demeanor goes that deep, once you get into more than small talk. It's a necessity for his job, but he still appears to be cold and utilitarian underneath it. He still thinks he's right about everything, and based on the insidious ways he phrases his own backstory to always shift blame away from himself, (even throwing Stockman under the bus, STILL, just to look better in comparison,) he's gotten a LOT better at making it feel like he is always in the right. What you've got is a Bishop who can lie, persuade and charm better, who also still doesn't care about much beyond protecting his territory and using the people around him. This presents us with a partner who, unlike 2000s-era Bishop, is far FAR more subtle with his abuse. And again, heaven forbid he actually genuinely has an interest in his hypothetical partner, because now he has galactic-wide surveillance and public sway on top of the immortality, and they're never getting away.

I hope that answers to satisfaction! Honestly while it's not my cup of tea it is really interesting to examine this facet of his character, so thank you for the question!!

[gregoftom]

the way that arm touch from tom at the end of the sticker scene isn't even just like...an arm pat. he's like. rubbing greg's arm there. it's comfort. it's not like a bro tap. it's like...I care for you.

god I just. wish we could get different angles of that scene. I want to see tom's hand on greg's arm. does he squeeze. does he caress with his thumb. and I want to see greg's full smile, not just what we get from the behind/side-profile. and I want to see greg's eyes when he flicks them down over tom as he's smiling.

there's just!!! so much love and care and affection and comfort in that scene!! they bitch slapped, and then??? just so much love between them and they expressed it

like they're literally so strong as a unit. they're like. the vibes of them just always having a hand touching somewhere on the other. they're in tandem. and that doesn't go away baby

THIS ASK IS MY ENTIRE ASS, SAY THAT!!!!

something shifted in that scene i don’t give a fuck about the cycles and ppl don’t change, jesse can meet me in the pit. they’re breaking out. yes tom claimed ownership of greg in terms of capitalistic property, in line with the show’s universe, but there is another layer to it too that cannot be denied. like you say it’s after their fight in the bathroom so that adds something i think. this is different to the other times tom has forgiven greg. he’s not self sacrificing and he’s not just throwing money and positions at him - he’s giving him something more than that, something that respects the both of them and their relationship. he’s giving him safety and security and comfort and for the first time, being affectionate in front of people. he’s showing that he takes them seriously.

i think sometimes people forget just how huge this is in terms of a step forward for tom like yes has never normal about greg, but it’s always been behind closed doors in offices, whispering, huddled away, the only time he’s ever shown any kind of dependence on greg or the extent of how much he needs him is in america decides. this was fully in front of people, loud and proud. you could say it’s just the ceo position giving him a power but like, come on. i don’t think it’s just that [the scenes later where he looks depressed af realising his puppet position argue otherwise.]

but yeah tom straight up strokes greg’s arm. the only other time we’ve ever seen a touch like that which was more of a stroke was to his back calling him mr bond but like, that’s not the same i don’t think. this was something else. NOT THE THUMB CARESS OOF… i want to believe he did do that. i think he does squeeze a little at the end. and greg’s been flicking his eyes up and down tom multiple times in s4; he keeps doing that! i thought he just did it in america decides, but he does it in the munsters too. something else as well but i forgot it. anyway, i have a post too of where both their eyes linger on each others mouths. ridiculous!!!!

but yeah. i agree with you anon and it gives me hope tbh. it left me with a sweet taste in my mouth and a sugar high. we don’t know what happens afterwards and there’s many ways things can be read, but for me personally, things are looking up for tom and greg. “they move in together” and tom becomes more “broad minded” are statements that coexist in my head together rent free.

[edenfenixblogs]

Palm tree, daffodil, and cactus for the Ask Game!

(The villain question, the sibling question, and the “what are you currently learning about” question)

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

Oh boy. Not technically fictional, but in his fictional representation — Ecbert from Vikings. He’s so compelling and his motivations and intensity is like that of a Shakespearean villain. I mean, just look at his monologue to Jesus in the church. It takes my breath away every time. Even without context.

I also find the real actual story of the real actual man to be fascinating. In general, I find early Anglo-Saxon era British history fascinating.

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

I do! But none by blood. @will-write-for-food is my sister, who I met in high school. I also have a friend (it feels weird calling her a friend tbh. She’s just my sister) who I’ve had since I was 4 and she was five. She’s also biologically an “only child,” but that made our bond even stronger. Nobody but an only child understands how fucking boring summers are if you’re an only child like another only child. Several years in a row we lived together by force. I would sleep over at her house until her mom needed a break and then she would send us both back and to my parents and on and on we’d go. I was maid of honor at her wedding. I’m aunt to her children.

As for similarities: both my sisters and I are motivated by love and family and kindness and are naturally rebellious in a dangerous way. We can all be snarky and we are all funny as fuck. But we never wanted to do drugs or go out and do any of the dangerous things you saw teens do in movies. We all care deeply about making the world better and believe in the value of choosing kindness and love any time you have the chance—even if it means gritting your teeth and clenching your fist while doing so. But also, we would all fear the fucking world apart if you hurt anyone we love. We also never abandon our friends to prioritize romance. We all value friendship as its own distinct type of love and relationship that isn’t less important than anything else.

For my Since-Pre-k sister, we are really quite different people. She leans more conservative (not in a terrible way though) whereas I’m very leftist. She is extremely romance driven in a way that @will-write-for-food and I are not. Over all, I think she’s a lot more traditional and normative in her life choices than we are, but not in a judgmental way. It’s just how she is. And it doesn’t change any of the things that matter about any of us. @will-write-for-food and I are also much more intellectually motivated than she is. She isn’t dumb though! She’s very smart! She just doesn’t learn things for fun like we do. She goes out and does stuff instead. I value that about her. Whenever I get too in my head she is amazing at shaking me out of it. She’s also not super into politics. She’s very practical.

As for @will-write-for-food and I? Ooooooh boy. There is no way to fully disentangle this. She’s my other half. We are basically the same person. I’m much more optimistic than she is in general. And I’m also soooooooo much more humble. (😉😘) But she is so strong in a way that inspires me. She can keep her head down and keep moving forward in a way that is incomprehensible to me. I’m glad she’s learned to reach out more over the years and know that she doesn’t HAVE TO operate like a one woman emergency crew. But the fact that, when the chips are down, she *CAN?* It’s astounding to witness. She’s also funnier than me. Or anyone. She’s the funniest fucking person in the world. And if you think *I’M* patient?????????? You have all seen NOTHING. You don’t know the meaning of the word patience. None of us do. The word belongs to her.

As for a way I’m different than both of them? Aside from what was already mentioned, I think it’s pretty funny that they are both Irish Catholic with a big, loud Jewish found family.

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

Interior design. (I got this ask a lot and will give a diff answer every time because I’m always learning a million things)

[spaceorphan18]

Thoughts about the Severance Finale 

I kind of flipped through all of my Season 2 reactions, and my have we come a long way in ten weeks.  Ngl, I was a little ambivalent at the beginning of the season due to the pace, but as I’ve been doing a rewatch, everything hits a little harder.  Episode 7 really did a number on me, and I don’t know that I ever really recovered from that.  

Anyway… here are a lot of words about everything...

The opening title sequence really does tell the entire season in a nutshell.  It’s fascinating upon rewatch.  

Irving (and Burt) - Who said his goodbye in the previous episode.  I did miss him in this one, tbh.  There are still unanswered questions - what was he up to? Who was he talking to on the phone? Does Burt have further backstory to share? But I also can see his story being done if this is where they choose to end it.  I don’t love that idea -- I think he adds a great flavor to the dynamic.  But I can’t help but think about how they brought in a new person when other people retired, when Petey left.  But now there’s only three seats.  

Also, John Turturro (and Christopher Walken) have been absent from all the press stuff.  Are they busy? Or… what’s going on?  

Miss Huang - is she also done? Was this a one season kind of thing? I wonder if they’ll get into more of Lumon’s child issues moving forward.  

Milchick - the Marching Band was inspired.  I’ve said it all season - but Milchick’s arc is leading him to eventually crack and have a breakdown and/or join forces against Lumon.  But more so - there’s a sadness to him.  This guy just wanted to be a musical theater major who ended up in middle management.  You feel sorry that his life ended up that way (though side eye the fact that no matter how bad it gets, he can’t seem to quite take a step away from Lumon).  I wonder what needs to happen to make him finally break. 

Also, Lumon has an entire group of severed employees on retainer to be an entire marching band? That’s… wild.  Like, wild… 

Jame Eagan & The Doctor - seriously fuck these guys.  I want them dead and burning.  The audacity that Jame has to say he doesn’t love his daughter.  That he only sees the fire of Kier in her Innie without being reflective enough to see that he (and the family and the psycho cult corporation) have snuffed her inner fire out.  Also, I hate the creepy doctor.  He needs to go, too.  

Mr. Drummond - Okay, so I’m going to take a moment and talk about the fact that there was legit humor in this episode.  The accidental killing of Drummond was one of those moments.  It’s dark.  Super dark.  But also hilarious.  I’m also a fan of insane ways to kill off super villains.  

Lorne & the Goat - While I adore Gwendoline Christie, I’m still side-eyeing the goat stuff.  But! At least it has some relevance, and another moment of commentary about how no matter how Lumon can try, you can completely separate emotion from someone.  

Ms. Cobel - She’s going to take on Lumon for her own reasons next season.  I really want to know what her long game is, because she has a long game already going in her mind.  Who is it she’s really after -- Jame? Someone else?  And she continues to have a fascination with Mark.  Why?  I’ve warmed on her character this season, and I’m curious to see how they handle her next season.  I will say this -- I fully believe that Devon and Gemma are going to be wanting to bust into Lumon next season - and Ms. Cobel has the knowledge to help them do it.  It’ll be a shaky alliance, but I see it being one.  And I’m curious to see where it goes.  

Dylan G. - So.  Here’s my thing.  All season, while I understood the whole idea behind character exploration, etc, I wasn’t entirely sure what the bigger picture was with Dylan’s character arc.  Until this last bit.  When it came together beautifully and brilliantly.  Dylan’s story is, in some ways, antithetical to Mark’s - in that despite everything that’s happened, both Dylans respect their counterparts.  I loved that Outie Dylan gave his Innie the ability to have a choice.  Gave his Innie the autonomy that most people don’t give to Innies.  And in turn, the two of them come to an understanding and have a respect for one another.  It’s so, so good, and I love it.  And I think it’s a shame that Dylan gets overlooked with all the higher drama going on. 

And also, once again, Dylan comes in to help and save his friends.  He is an integral part to that office, and there are times I wish the show didn’t put so much weight on romantic relationships, because there is power and love in other types of bonds -- like familial and friendship -- that are also overlooked.  Let’s not overlook Dylan in Season 3.  Because I think he’s actually going to end up being a voice of reason when the revolution ends up spiraling out of control (which… it will.)  

Adam Scott (& the Marks) -- Go get your Emmy, babe.  That scene with both Marks is really masterful.  And I think it speaks so much to the nature of all the themes on the show.  It’s truly one of the best scenes of this entire show.  And I really do get where both Marks are coming from, as well as being fascinated by the fact that while they are two different entities sharing a body, they are still essentially the same person and still react the same way.  Both Marks, at their core, are lovers (messed up, having plenty of issues lovers, but lovers still the same).  And I fully understand all the choices being made.  And I really appreciate the fact that they keep true to that characteristic.  

Also.  Mark bloodied up going to find his love.  That did something for me.  ;) 

Helly R (& Helena). - I have some complicated feelings about Helly.  The thing though -- the thing I’ve always liked best about her character is the fact that she has never been one to back down without a fight.  That she is bold and is fire but has come a long way from just wanting out life to wanting to live.  To value her life and those around her.  To love herself.  And the fact that she’s juxtaposed with Helena -- the fact that the two often have what the other wants.  The fact that Helly is learning that she and Helena are the same and to come to an acceptance of that, is really kind of beautiful.  I really do want her to find happiness and be at peace.  

The complicated feeling…. 

Mark & Helly R. - All season, I’ve struggled with this romantic relationship.  On paper, I get it.  Intellectually.  Narratively.  There is something fascinating in exploring this on multiple levels -- the fact that they’re both in their teenage era, rebellious and finding love for the first time.  The fact that Outie Mark spent a considerable amount of time trying to create a world free of his emotion over Gemma and succeeded.  The conversations I really want to dig into about the whole ‘love transcends severance’ and how it’s more complicated than people are making it out to be.  (I mean, I think I may do a whole other post on it) And I do think a lot of the moments throughout this episode as Mark’s finishing the file are bittersweet in an endearing way.  

Also the choice and the ending of the episode… I like the fact that it’s very - end act 2 - of the show.  It’s very ‘The Graduate’ where they run off with no plan and they’re excited at the prospect of getting this moment together but it’s bittersweet in that they have this moment, but it’s not really going to last.  

But.  Here's my thing.  And I recognize that this is a subjective me thing.  You know how one usually has, like, a swell of emotion when you see the romantic leads have a full on romantic moment?  I… don’t feel anything.  My biggest issue, all season, is that I don’t feel any kind of romance between the two of them.  And - I don’t blame the actors (I already think Britt Lower deserves an Emmy as much as Adam Scott does for this season.)  I just… don’t happen to have that connection to the romance part of the story in the way I know the show wants me to have.  Sorry?  

I honestly think the ending would have hit just a little bit more in the way the showrunners intended if everyone - Helly, Dylan, Irving or no one had been there for Innie Mark to make his choice.  I’m not mad at all at Innie Mark.  I completely understand the narrative.  I just don’t feel anything for the romantic side of Mark and Helly and that’s just gonna be my cross to bear as we move forward, because I know it’s not going away.  

Meanwhile… 

Gemma - Look, as I said, episode 7 just really impacted me.  I’m not sure I can really express the why of it, only that her story did hit in a way that really gave me an emotional reaction.  I fucking adore Gemma.  I love the real and messy relationship Mark and Gemma had.  I felt moved more in those thirty seconds where Outie Mark finds Gemma than anything else this show has thrown at us.  This story just… does it for me, and I mean, I can’t help what I emotionally react to.  It just does.  

So the ending gutted me.  Utterly gutted me to have her there - having gone through everything she’s gone through, and still have such a devastating ending? She needs to be a series regular next season! I need her and Devon to team up (and I really haven’t talked about Devon - but can we take a moment and discuss that she’d be just as gutted to learn her brother was taken hostage - because she would be).  I need the two of them to do what they can from the outside.  Go get your husband back and kick ass, girl.  You deserve it! 

***

Some general thoughts going into Season 3

-This show deserves all the Emmys.  The amount of detail and care that goes into every aspect of the show is masterful, and I think it should get recognized for it. 

-I do think there’ll be a full on Innie rebellion and takeover of Lumon next season.  There’s going to be a power switch, and it’ll be interesting to see how that works out.  

-I'm not going to be surprised if we learned that Gemma, initially, was working with Lumon willingly at first. I think there's set up for that. I still, however, think they lied to her, kidnapped her, and held her against her will. And I don't believe any kind of original agreement warrants that kind of treatment.

-I still want my lore episode.  Give me the history of Kier! Give me the history of Lumon.  Doesn’t need to answer every question (and I’m glad this show is actually pretty open about answering questions) but I’m fascinated as to how we got from Kier to cult corporation.  

-I don’t know that this show can play out past a Season 3? Unless they really stretch the narrative? This feels like a three act story, so I guess we’ll see… 

-This story is a lot about love but also a lot about grief.  I have no idea where they’re going to take it, and I just don’t know if I’d buy some kind of cheesy - timeshare thing between the Outies and the Innies.  Do I think Lumon is ultimately going to get shut down and the severance program discontinued? Yes, I think that’s the ultimate end of the show.  Do I think there’s going to be tragedy along the way? Absolutely.  

And I’ll be here waiting to see how it how unfolds.  

[thatgirl4815]

do you think the ex will be coming back? i’m starting to think they won’t at this point but who knows since bls love to throw in the ex storyline at last minute (well this isn’t your stereotypical/cliche kind of bl however they have been tackling many bl tropes head on and spinning them/doing a commentary on them so they might do it with the ex too). i fear for ray’s reaction if the ex comes back but i also fear for sand’s. i don’t believe sand would be swayed if he and ray decided to go all in but there’s clearly still a lot of hurt and bitterness there towards his ex so he clearly still cares and if for example the ex is good at manipulating …who knows what could happen.

i’m also curious as to when sand’s sex scene with someone not in the main cast is coming. where will sand and ray’s relationship be? will it be a flashback (doubt it at this point unless they decide to really give us ex backstory)? are sand and ray are in a bad place again possibly after the apartment fight and he wants to not feel lonely or get his mind off ray (would once again be scared for when/if ray finds out) so he gets a one night stand or even worse it’s with the ex? i’m so curious about it simply because of the positive way the sandray relationship seems to be going next ep (that we know won’t last but still).

I keep expecting the ex to show up, but he never does, and at this point we're getting pretty close to the end. If Ray's alcoholism/mental health issues occupy as much of the plot as I think they're going to, then that doesn't leave much room for an ex storyline. To your point about the series subverting common tropes--if the ex comes in, I don't think the series will follow a typical "ex comes to stir up drama and jealousy" arc. Up to now, the whole reason the "Sand ex" thing has come up at all is because it's contextualized Sand's feelings about Top and given him motivation to tell Ray about the sex tape. So it's hardly related to Sand and Ray's storyline at all (yet).

From a SandRay storyline perspective, I don't know if we need to see Ray be jealous of Sand's ex to move their plot forward...we can already infer how Ray would react to that. Plus, we saw it on a smaller scale with the Freddie Mercury guy in Ep8. It could give Ray more clarity about his feelings for Sand I suppose, but tbh I think Ray isn't too far away from admitting how he truly feels with or without an ex plotline to rile him up.

Sand's sex scene with someone else is something I cannot reconcile with the plot at this point. I feel like it would almost have to be a flashback, or he and Ray have a huge fight that leads him to cut off Ray permanently (or what he thinks is permanently) leading him to distract himself with someone else. Idk why, but I don't get the feeling that Sand would hookup with someone right after an argument as a way of getting back at Ray? Though I suppose it depends on just how nasty the argument they have is. If Sand thinks they can still come back from it, I don't think he'd go after anyone else.

But a flashback at this stage of the plot? For an ex that can't take up too much of the storyline? Idk. I've seen some people speculate that the love scene Jojo hinted at next episode with the blurry-ass photo is Sand and Nick, which...:/ I can't pick apart the pixels and peer through all the blurriness, but I am 99.999% sure it's Sand and Ray. Hopefully I don't jinx it by saying that.

So all in all, I am very confused about the ex's involvement in the plot. The preview doesn't indicate that they will appear next episode either. So where does that leave them? I'm on the edge of my seat.

[mweothe11e]

Helloooooo 🥁 I'm here .. well you know me 💅....

OK enough of me teasing you hahh...

Umm my dream life is achieving everything I've ever dreamt off. A safe place where I can nurture my soul . And a loving partner to walk by my side .

Your Go-to Self-Empowering song - WHO SAYS by Selena Gomez.

Initials : S.P

Hi Baby Sissy S.P.,

Thank you so much for participating in my new ask game~

I was lowkey expecting you to mention a Kpop song but heyyy~

“Who Says” is a great song to feel empowered to.

We talked about this numerous times baby sissy, the more you show up for yourself and cast your insecurities and limiting beliefs to the side, the higher the chances of you living the life of your dreams.

The cards I pulled for you regarding the Encouragement of your Future Self are:

7 of Swords, Lovers, 5 of Cups

These are the things your Future Self wants to tell you:

“Listening to gossip, hearsay, and projections would be our downfall. Listening to other people insulting us and berating us because we don’t fit in their standards would ruin us.

Caving into jealousy by being petty will get us spanked so my dear, behave and don’t think getting petty would do you any good. You know the truth, so why believe in their lies?”

“If you’re going be strategic, do it in the field of your work. In how you make more money from a different source of income. Stability from one job is okay and all, but in this economy?

Sweetheart, wake up and smell the BS in the air and have more than one source of income. Even if it’s unconventional, you don’t owe anyone any explanation why you do a different kind of work, in contrast to what is expected of you.”

“Live up to your dream version, not to the expectations of others pressed upon you. Do something for you. Pursue that career because that’s what YOU want to do. Not because someone suggested it to you.”

“We got him… ahehee, Sissy and I got them. We’re all happy. Even if Sissy saw this, she’s too stubborn like us to believe that it’s actually gonna happen. So don’t give up, okay? Keep moving forward. We are all actually happy in the future with them.”

“Plans fail and fall through. But what you need to learn as early as now is to not dwell on one option. And yes, I’m talking about the school and that course. You’re just too stubborn to venture out and try other options. How long do you have to keep crying about this for you to try to see options available to you abroad?”

“Two words: International Scholarships~ if you really wanna achieve a diploma before your Saturn return, you know what you need to do.”

“Lemme reiterate when I mentioned lies, I meant you believing that you won’t get opportunities beyond what your family allows you to achieve. Need we say more?

The universe is putting you through the wringer because you’re a Square Block forcing yourself into a Triangle. Why do you have to force yourself to fit in where you’re meant to be somewhere else?”

“Read the fine print and don’t get scammed. Ask someone who knows the laws if you don’t understand certain parts. Know the do’s and don’ts-s.” (TBH this is giving me foreign student vibes)

“It’s risky but it’s worth it. Put yourself out there. There’s a whole world beyond the death grip of your family.”

“The unknown is a freeing experience. Explore, take risks, and have fun.”

“The traditional educational system isn’t the only way you can graduate. There are other universities out there. With even better opportunities that are better fitted for you. What are you waiting for?”

"Stop with your stubbornness and get out of your country already! Sissy told you this months ago! We suffered through college because you being stuck in your ways.... Gurrllllllllllll..."

“Before expecting someone else to choose you, choose yourself first. Learn to love to put yourself first.”

“Let those who genuinely support you be there for you.”

“Make a choice. Choose only one.”

“Don’t get swayed by every shiny thing. Some red apples have toxic wax on them too.”

“Don’t get too caught up in disappointment with your family for your choices. They’ve caused you too much grief for them to even matter in your life. There’s a reason why you see weeds all clumped together under a fruit tree. They selfishly cling to the ones that bear fruits.”

“Weed out the crap in your life the second you become independent. Learn to understand the fact that you can love your family from a safe distance. It’s better for everyone that way.”

“Work-life balance my dear. You can’t blame him for being all over you. That boy’s royally whipped for your fine ass~ Also, use protection.” (oooohhhh…)

“Make sure you graduate and work first. You can spare a few cash for protection. Childcare is still expensive AF. Even if he is rich.” (oooooohhh)

This is all I can read for you.

Do let me know how this resonates with you.

(This reading is for entertainment purposes only)