#I just can't believe this is happening. I literally hate everything and everyone.
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nosferatufaggot · 1 year ago
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I literally hate everyone and everything no one understands.
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nikkisticki · 2 years ago
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Mostly correct, but at the same time I find there's a mistaken belief that holding any form of anger or hatred will corrupt you, which I think is technically true if you take it to it's natural extreme, but once again I have to make the argument of self-responsibility.
Anger is a very valuable tool when applied correctly (a lengthy topic I won't go into but if you learn to use your emotional bursts rationally it can be very useful in various ways), and it's appropriate to get mad at fools for being fools. I'm not speaking towards actively attacking them, obviously, but when it comes to my blog where I'm not in the process of trying to talk to these people and actively attempting to avoid them, I don't think it matters as much as the joy I feel stringing together a fun insult (Although as my sweet ferny friend has pointed out, my angle of attack was a bit ableist and not really against the substance of their flaws.)
I entirely agree that being hateful directly towards them is entirely pointless with few exceptions (If you're in a situation where someone isn't ever going to change, what you say only matters to those viewing the conversation that's opinion will be potentially up for change. In that case, there is value in lowering yourself to their level and responding to their lukewarm insults with some spicy retort once you've already given them the chance(s) to be civil in scenarios where onlookers would respond positively to that), because ultimately the only way you'll ever convince them of anything is to make them ask the questions themselves.
As I said, I think you're right, but people choose to believe the things they are told. I believe it's ultimately just as dehumanizing to consider them as simply being "unable to see the propaganda for what it is because of a lack of education and active malice towards them" as to call them a pile of spare parts.
There is value in peace, but it is better to be a warrior in a garden then a gardener in a war, and I'm telling you for sure that these people aren't going to de-radicalize. The best option we have for the future is that they spend their whole lives hating imaginary enemies so they don't have to change and then die quietly, having only harmed people psychologically with their words and actions.
Edit: Which, when you consider they elected the people currently doing massive damage to people on the basis of wanting them to do damage to those people, it sort of strikes me that it's already long past that point.
At the very least, making people hate bigots isn't a problem that I see as being as problematic as the bigots themselves.
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You know Elon probably saw this and was super mad he still can't fire Halli.
#fyi new bestie I do wish I could agree with you#I really don't like pointless negative emotions and I wish that peace was the option and we could just rationally tell people the truth#I get the fear of spreading hate in others that's a good point but shouldn't everyone hate bigots and fascists#Also I have like fifty more things to say like how the 9/10 of their group that are following the 1/10 aren't actually the ones speaking#When you speak to propaganda addled individuals they are just quoting the grifters and propagandists that gave them their ideas#So actually the best forms of insults are towards them and it's best to address the asshole they got the shit from directly#This lets you step past them and metaphorically address Jordan Peterson's insane beliefs that have been imprinted into them#Which I didn't do as the conversation is about them and as I said I can't get behind removing agency from people#They chose to believe the lies and ignore those who speak the truth#I can't tho I have carpal tunnel but I love everything your putting down#I am picking it up and putting it on my shelf#I've spent multiple years trying to convince the terminally online they are being deceived and I'm telling you it doesn't matter#No matter what you say their response will always be the same and people respond easily to insults towards those perceived to deserve them#and in a better time I'd say it would be better to do as you say#Covid might not even be top 5 worst things in this decade#The only ones who will change are only at best going to use your conversation as a stepping stone to admitting somethings wrong but that is#I can't even make up a number it's so rare I can only remember six cases of it happening#I tried so hard#I had so many strategies and plans and it just doesn't fucking matter when they think you're LITERALLY A LIZARD PERSON
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potatoesandsunshine · 2 years ago
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just remembered the oculara situation brb going insane about it
#my trev when this is discovered: huh. in other news I'm possessed by a rage demon right now don't worry about it though#cole has such a good response to it like a full declaration that he will put a stop to this#meanwhile trev is like oh okay. so my mage rebellion allowed this to happen. time to burn everything-everything down not just the stuff#we were already burning down. let's light the rest.#she really views the entire redcliffe situation as a failure of fiona's leadership which is a bit unfair#but also like. you're telling me i dragged half a circle across countries and put them in your care. then i went to the conclave to spy for#you which was definitely implicitly payment for the rebellion looking after my people. then i get back to redcliffe#and you GAVE THEM TO A MAGISTER. and the tranquil are DEAD. this is on YOU.#literally the ONLY reason fiona is allowed to be breathing and alive in my library is bc if she died vivienne would effortlessly take over#the mage rebellion has such a void of leadership like. 'oh hawke is in hiding and anders is controversial and surana is gone who#will step up and lead us!' and then fiona does it but everyone hates her and she majorly fucks up a bunch#and vivienne is clearly the most capable person waiting in the wings but unfortunately she believes in the circle#like. the mages cannot get the w#my mage trevelyan is a very like soft power lean on people when she can get away with it lie when she can't type#but i do think that shack is like an 'oh i thought i knew where the lines were but i was unprepared for this one to be crossed' moment
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cheyisagirlkisser · 2 months ago
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. ✦ .R U Mine? FWB Ellie x Reader. ✦
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Content: JACKSON ELLIE X FEM! READER, Alcohol consumption, friends with benefits, mentions of casual sex, some angst, Cat is Ellie's ex-girlfriend in this fic, making out in the rain, nipple play (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), scissoring, happy ending this is definitely an emotional roller coaster though, set in TLOU universe in which reader and Ellie are young adults, Joel is still alive and mentioned, Jesse and Dina are in a relationship in this, I know the pic is Seattle Ellie but this is still set in Jackson.
Word Count: 6.5k
A/N: I know I literally just said I'd be releasing this in a week, get tricked. (I spent hours editing to finish this but it was so worth it)
Description: Ellie has always been bad with emotions. Dina tells you that what seems like everyday at this point. Still, you can't help but notice the way she leaves the morning after your nights together. You can feel the tension in the way she pretends like nothing happens during patrol together. Just when you think you finally have the situation figured out, it blows up in your face.
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 "How drunk are you?" Dina's voice echoes in your head, making you turn away from your current view and back onto the current conversation.
"Uhhhhhh…..however drunk you want me to be?” You giggle at Dina’s failed attempt to stifle a laugh.
“You are so doomed tomorrow..don’t you have patrol with Jesse?! And I thought you were gonna try to go talk to Ellie and make things less awkward..” Dina looks at you more sternly now.
You groan. “It’s not like it’ll even fuckin’ matter, she’ll just ignore me like she always does. Like she’s doing right now.” 
You know that was a bit over dramatic, but it’s not untrue. Ellie and you have been seeing each other - no, fucking, for the past few months. Every single time you’re in public together, she mostly acts weird towards you, feigning disinterest. The act she puts on is hard to believe when she’s between your legs making you cum your brains out the next day. It’s not like you don’t understand the difference between love and lust. You absolutely understand it, especially in a place like Jackson where getting attached to someone can be riskful. However, Ellie is never a quick fuck-and-leave. Not only is the sex amazing, but she tells you things in the voice she limits for only you to hear, and things she says never make you wonder if she means them. Her actions, however, have you lost. 
Ellie was a friend before all of this. She was no childhood friend who grew up with you but simply someone who you connected to well, and well was an understatement. You know almost everything about her, from her favorite rations to bring on long supply runs to her shower routine. Now, the two of you are really at a limbo; the patrols since the first hook-up have all been awkward, with Ellie being extremely quiet or overly nice, which may seem like a good thing but once again you know Ellie. She has never been the type to keep her mouth shut and clean. The crude jokes and sarcasm are your favorite pieces of her personality, and you just assumed at first that it was just her getting used to the dynamic. However, as time continues, it is still just as weird, and the two of you are hooking up just as often. 
Currently, you’re wasted to no ends at a party in Jackson you wish you didn’t even go to. Of course, Ellie’s here joking around with Jesse in the far left of the backyard like nothing is weird between the two of you. Again, it may be dramatic, but you just hate the fact that you have to keep it all a secret from everyone. (You told Dina as soon as it happened, but that’s because you can’t keep secrets from your best friend!) You know that from the beginning, it was always supposed to be sex and a friendship. Both of you didn’t want a ton of commitment, but that changed overtime as the hook-ups started to last longer and the aftercare went from sitting in bed together to holding each other like lovers do. Dina warned you that Ellie isn’t good with her feelings, but it causes bitterness within you when she kisses the top of your head the other night then refuses to even say hi to you at a party.
You sigh, turning your attention back away from Ellie once more and onto Dina, who is trying her best to lecture you on why you should just talk to Ellie instead of letting the situation get so awkward, but you’re not really hearing her. You’re not typically a melancholic drunk, but Ellie really has a knack for bringing that side out of you, especially when she’s halfway across the yard talking Jesse’s head off and refusing to make eye-contact. Every time she laughs, it stabs at your heart. Not because she’s happy, but because you want to be the one to cause that feeling in her. You want to be the reason she smiles and giggles, you want to hear all of the swear words she wants to say and the stupid jokes she likes to come up with. You honestly miss her, and you know it’s stupid that you even fell for her, but you hope that someday things will at least be normal once more. Not that you wanna lose the sex, though.
Dina drags you over to the mentioned group and forces her boyfriend Jesse to escort you home. You don’t argue back. You’re too sad to argue and it’s embarrassing to be on the verge of tears as Ellie’s silence next to is continued.
-
You can’t help but think of Ellie, even when you’re all snug in your bed and half-conscious. It’s the memory of her face as you walked away and how she glanced over to you but never spoke up. She would have made your day so much better with a simple ‘hello.’ It’s not her fault, you tell yourself. It was never ever her fault but yours. Still, you feel so bitter wondering where it all went wrong for you. 
Usually, you never experienced such a level of attachment to one person. It’s not like love was new and you were far from a virgin when you and Ellie first hooked up, but something about her is engraved in your head and you just can’t escape it. You picture the button-like curve of her nose and the way light reddens her hair, a color that is almost impossible to make out in the confines of the indoors. Sometimes, you wonder if Ellie was born to be part of nature. She smells so Earthly and the way she moves, converse padding through grass, it’s like when you see someone practicing a hobby meant for them: you just know it’s meant to be that way. You used to love going on patrol with her for that reason, to be able to see her so comfortably scavenging and on Shimmer’s back. Now, it’s stiff and awkward, and the sense of fate that you feel when seeing her do what she is so naturally good at is challenged by her distance. 
Deep within your thoughts, you’re pulled out by a creak and the sound of your window opening. You quickly sit up, attempting to dry your tears with your sleeve when you see Ellie clumsily diving into your bedroom. Usually in the circumstance of being angry with someone, you know that you would tell them to fuck off. Ellie, however, cannot be told that. Her charm on you is far too wrapped around you like vines to concrete and so you laugh even through the tears. 
“Your window is fuckin’ narrow, you know.” 
“I wouldn’t know. I use the front door.” Despite the snark in your words, your voice cracks slightly as you sniffle and try to hold back the hot tears. 
Ellie sighs, and you can tell she is holding back. You hate this, the way conversation still flows at little points in time before continuing onto becoming nothing but awkward, stiff silence. Ellie surprises you and moves quickly to sit on your bed near you, pulling you into her arms. 
You know you shouldn’t crumble, but you do. Her embrace is so warm despite the fact that tomorrow it’ll be non-existent, and so you cling onto her while you still can. Your tears dribble down your cheeks and onto her shirt where the material grows damp. She only holds you tight, not making any further moves. Somehow, that is worse than the latter. The idea that this is what the relationship (if you can even call it that) has become is so emotionally involved, now there is no doubt that there is more, but there won’t be in the morning. 
You grieve the moment for what it could’ve been and fall asleep in Ellie’s arms as she coos you so softly, whispering sweet reassurances, only taking your tears as drunken sadness and not for what it was - her own doing. 
When you were once a young girl, you found comfort in the sound of clocks. The rhythmic tick, tick, tick lulled you to sleep. Now, you awake to the same ticking coming from the round clock mounted on your wall by a nail behind it. The familiar sunlight is plastering the bed in patterns much like time itself, telling you that the day is ahead of you and that you cannot sleep it off for much longer. Of course, Ellie’s presence is lacking. She left before you woke up. It hurts more than the other times that you opened your eyes to see that the girl you slept with the night before had left you, because she held you so dearly the previous night in a way that is always more than friendly or sexual. The inbetween of that must be hard for her to differentiate. 
You arrive at the East gates around 8 am, and Jesse is there waiting for you with a polite smile on his face. 
“Hey. You ready to head out?” 
“Yeah, sorry if I’m running a bit late.”
Jesse lets out a small laugh at that. “I won’t hold you to it. You were pretty hammered last night.” 
You avoid his teasing gaze, knowing full-well his words ring true. You were embarrassingly drunk last night, and you probably said some things to him that you don’t even remember now, but he definitely does. 
“You act like you weren’t drinking too!” 
“Oh, please. I’ve been drunk but not that drunk. You were white-girl wasted.” 
That makes you laugh, but at the same time your heart clenches along with your uneasy stomach. That’s a term one freckle-faced girl is known for saying because of Joel. 
“Can we just get on with patrol now?” Jesse rolls his eyes at your whiny tone and short dismal, but nods anyway and begins to signal for the guards to open up the large gates. You sigh, taking reluctant steps out of Jackson along with him. “My head’s killing me and I need to get this over with so that I can go home and nap.”
The first 30 minutes of patrol goes just as expected, the trek to the neighborhood you were assigned to clear and search through is long and boring. Jesse isn’t much of a talker when it comes to patrols, usually sticking to professionalism. That doesn’t surprise you much. While Jesse likes to drink and have a good time, he’s always taken patrol seriously. You recall countless times you’ve heard him scold other people for not taking their work seriously enough, and you partially understand. The lives of the people in Jackson all count on each other to do their jobs efficiently. Still, you know that patrol can be boring and nerves can be high. Sometimes, people just need to have a bit of humor in their lives to keep things from getting too grim. Afterall, leading an overall grim life as a patroller is no way to live. It’d tear your spirit out, starting from the inside. 
However, as you reach the building, Jesse stops in his tracks. His usual disposition is broken and he turns to you with a sigh. 
“Listen..” He struggles to find the words, “I just wanted to talk to you about something that I’ve noticed.”
You hope this isn’t going where you think it is. “Yeah?”
“Ellie’s one of my best friends, and I can tell something’s going on between the two of you, even if she won’t tell me.” He notices your visible discomfort at the mention of Ellie, but presses on. “I’m just warning you that she’s not good with her feelings. She can be all awkward and weird about them, but you’re a good person. I know she cares about you.” 
You don’t answer immediately, a bit caught off guard by his words. Still, they resonate with you. You’ve heard this from Dina too, but you previously wondered if she was only wanting to give you a soft landing. Dina, as much as you love her, has a tendency to try to avoid hurting your feelings. Jesse is quite the opposite, and you know that what he says has meaning to it. 
“Thanks, Jesse.” You give him a slight smile, and he nods. 
“Just talk to her, okay? You guys are both great. You deserve better than whatever the fuck you’ve got goin’ on.” 
You can’t help but laugh slightly at that despite anxiety churning through you. If Jesse sees potential, why can’t it be realistic to think that you and Ellie have a shot at being more than just friends who often have sex? Why can’t you be girlfriends?
The rest of the patrol is still half better, half worse. You’re anxious about actually talking to Ellie about your feelings and the aching from the previous night hasn’t faded. The task of taking out infected is just as dreadful because you know that in any moment, all of your current problems can become squabble compared to the issue you’d be faced with if a bite were to be imprinted into your flesh. It’d be tragic. Still, you have hope. You carry hope with you that soon, you may get to make some progress with her and get out of this weird spot. You think about that hope every moment that your knife is plunged into the rotten fungi-covered skin of another clicker. 
Before, your plan was to make a bee-line for your own house and sleep off the liquor from the night before, to get some actual sleep. Now, your feet seem to lead you to the path of Ellie’s garage. You’re just ready to see her and get the difficult conversation over with so that you can finally know how she feels.
On the way, your heart races with hope and fear. Questions circle around your head like bees swarming their hive; will Ellie reciprocate your feelings? Even if she does, will she want to actually be in a relationship with you? She may not even feel the same way.. You have to stop yourself from going overboard. As you reach her little garage, you take a deep breath and mentally count the seconds in your head.
Tick, tick, tick…One, two, three..
Everything will be fine. Even if this doesn’t work out, you can at least move on from her and have closure. You can’t help but smile at the thought of no longer having to deal with awkward patrols and weird conversations. Finally, you walk towards the garage door; your steps are faster than before and charged with nerves. Your hands are shaky but your mind is determined. 
You stop yourself from knocking on her door when you hear the sound of laughter.
You recognize the all-too-familiar laughter that belongs to Ellie, of course. It always makes your heart tumble into your stomach upon hearing it. However, you hear another fit of giggles beside hers that cause a clenching in your heart. Was she with another girl…?
You quickly pad towards her window, her curtains opened wide of course. From even just the side, you can see the scene inside of her room. Ellie is sitting in bed with Cat. You feel sick to your stomach at the sight of the girls so effortlessly talking, something Ellie hasn’t bothered to give you in months besides the times you’re in bed together, naked for her. 
Cat is drawing on her arm and it makes you livid with jealousy. You know that she and Ellie dated before. You can’t help but wonder if this is the reason that Ellie holds back from you. Was she really still in love with her ex-girlfriend all of this time? Were you just a rebound to her? 
Your heart breaks within you, and you’re more hurt than you are angry. The frustration is definitely there, though. You don’t bother to knock, storming back off to your home.
-
Ellie knew from a young age who she was. She has a foul mouth, likes nerdy things that others may insult her for, and she likes women. Her sexuality may have been a bit of a spectacle in Jackson. When she and Cat were seen holding hands when they were together, she was forced to get used to the stares thrown at them. They built her up into everything she is today. However, Ellie is nothing if not troubled.
Her emotions aren’t so easily adaptable. Her feelings feel murkier at times and clear at others, yet she cannot convey them in the ways others do. She knows that she is in love with you. She feels an emptiness when she is away from you for too long and wonders if it would be smart to let herself be so honest with you, to risk losing you after spending the rest of her days with you. She struggles to convey all of that, too; what if you find her to be overwhelming? Sex with you may be one thing, but these feelings could scare you away. She can’t lose you. 
Perhaps her lack of proper conveyal pushed you further away from her grasp.
It seems that you won’t talk to her anymore. She can’t pinpoint what is causing the change, but all she knows is that it is all too real. You, for some reason, won’t volunteer to patrol with her anymore. You don’t knock on her door, even if it’s just for that one thing that has been the main foundation of your relationship for the past few months. You lack the softness in your gaze when you’re in her presence; you lack to gaze at her at all. 
Something in Ellie is entirely disheartened by your sudden absence in her life. She knows that she was awkward before, but she genuinely wanted to tell you how she felt about you. She wanted to carve your name into the surface of her heart so that she can only bleed you, as if your hands don’t squeeze at the organ enough. She recalls the times that she’d take deep inhales of your hair after sex just to be filled with your scent. She thinks about the last time she got to hold you and how she left after, just because she couldn’t live with it if you rejected her in the morning. 
For weeks, this avoidance continues. At first, Ellie tries to speak to you. You ignore her or brush her off with short responses every time. After a while, she begins to pull away as well. That is, until you’re walking home in the rain as the crash of thunder surrounds Jackson at all angles. 
Your boots make wet pitter-patter noises as you try your best to hurry back home after a late patrol. The sky is dark, the only source of light is your own flashlight and the dim street-lights that make a path down the street. Unfortunately, your house is so far from the center of Jackson that it requires a longer journey to get home than it does for most people. You live on the outskirts, which can be good for privacy, but not so good for travel. 
You wish that you had brought an umbrella with you earlier before leaving your house. Now, it doesn’t matter. All you can focus on is getting home and not being struck down in lightning. In a world filled with fungi-based zombies, you’d think that something as unique as being fried from a thunderstorm would be the least of your worries. Your steps quicken until they don’t. 
You trip face-first into the gravel, your skin on fire from the sudden harsh tumble. Your clothes are covered in mud and dirty rain water, some pebbles sticking to the soaked fabric. You groan in discomfort, but you’re halted from your progress in rising when you look up to see a frantic Ellie staring down at you. 
“Holy shit, are you okay?! What the hell are you doing out here, it’s raining cats and dogs..” 
Usually, you’d laugh at that joke. Instead, you avoid her gaze and try to stand, wincing at the soreness from the fall and the scrape on your knee left from the sharp gravel. 
“I’m fine. I just got back from patrol.” Your words are so boring and short, it makes Ellie’s heart ache. She misses how things used to be.
“You’re not gonna make it all the way back to your house like this.” She states, and you know she is right, unfortunately. Your clothes leave you feeling like a wet dog, dirty and half-way drenched. Your knee is probably bleeding, and you simply don’t want to walk all of the way home. Still, you’d rather do that than face Ellie after what you witnessed. 
“I can make it, I’ve walked home before.”
Ellie scoffs at your stubborn, dry tone. “Yeah, no shit. But not like this. C’mon, just come back to the garage. You can borrow my clothes and I’ll ask Joel for a first-aid kit.” 
That sounds so like Ellie to offer. You remember countless nights in her garage, some before the whole situation happened when you only played video games and let her read you comics until you were snoring on her couch. You also remember the late nights spent against her, panting as she made you cum in any way she could, only to act as if it didn’t happen the next day. The thought makes you grow bitter. 
“Maybe I don’t wanna go home with you.” You state in a monotone, or at least try to. You pray that she can’t hear the break in your voice, notice how your already wet face is easily splotched with a cluster of tears. 
That makes Ellie’s heart completely squeeze within her body. “But..why?”
“Why?! Because you led me on, Ellie!” 
Ellie’s eyes widen at that. She didn’t expect that. “Lead you on? How..How did I lead you on? I know I was awkward, but I-”
You quickly cut her off, your voice raising with pent-up hurt. “It’s not about your stupid awkwardness! It’s about the fact that I was clearly just a rebound.” 
Ellie goes silent at that. A rebound? What the hell were you talking about? A rebound for who?
“A rebound? What are fuck are you even saying right now..? I never..” Her voice trails off, she’s clearly confused; that only fuels your anger further.
“You only agreed to sleep with me because you wanted to get over Cat. Am I right, or am I right?” Your tone slides from angry to practically livid. Underneath it all is pure heart-break. 
“That’s not even true! I’ve been over Cat for a couple years now and you know that. Why would I still like her after this long?”
“I saw you and her in your stupid garage, Ellie!” As you shout, lightning strikes, causing you both to flinch. You should just turn away and rush inside, rush anywhere indoors. You know that. Still, you’re too focused on all of the hurt inside of you. “I saw her drawing all over your arm and I heard your laughter. You never laughed like that for me unless we were fucking. You never smiled at me like you smile at her, or Jesse, or even Joel for fuck’s sake.” You feel sobs bubble up from your throat and the rain pouring down upon the two of you. “I just wanted you to be happy with me like how you were before. Instead of…just pretending like we were nothing at all.”
Ellie looks like she’s about to argue back, but her words best her. She instead moves to stand in front of you, and even despite the tension and distance between the two of you, you can’t help but think about how beautiful Ellie looks, her soaked bangs glued to her forehead and her clothes soaked, clinging onto her slender form. She cups your face almost hesitantly, her fingers brushing against your jaw as if she’s afraid you’ll push away. She can feel the heat of your tears in contrast to the coldness of the rain water on your wet face. She aches at the difference. 
“Listen to me..please..” Her voice, so soft and intimate, makes you want to do whatever she asks. She is so gentle even as the thunder booms once more, almost making you jolt again. “Cat was only drawing on my arm because I wanted to get a new tattoo, and I’ve been well over her for years now. We might’ve dated when we were young, but all we are now is a friendship. I needed her advice on you. I wanted to know what to do, how to tell you how I feel..” 
You look up at her, your voice hesitant. “And how do you feel?”
She exhales, a shaky and addictive sound. “I don’t want Cat back. I want you back..I miss you. I miss the goofy shit we used to do on patrol.” She chokes out a laugh, ironic for the speech and the nerves she’s feeling from confessing all of this to you. “I miss hearing your laughter, I miss how you smell so lovely even when you live in a fucking apocalypse. I yearn to hear you talk to me. Talk to me about anything. I miss the way you sneeze, the way you stumble over yourself like how you just did and got your damn patrol clothes all muddy.” She takes one final moment to savor your face, to memorize your features right in front of her in case you reject her final confession. “I don’t love Cat. I love you.
Her words hit you so deeply, right in the heart where you need to feel her. You don’t hesitate to lean in and Ellie almost immediately meets your lips in a bruisingly desperate kiss. 
Your hands grasp at her face like she’ll disappear in any moment, fingers finding her hair and pulling at the wet, tangled strands of auburn.. She pulls you closer by the waist and her palm can feel sensations that make her believe this moment is something straight out of a dream. Dots of rain fall upon the both of you as her lips pull your bottom one in between them, making you gasp softly and part your lips. She takes full advantage, slipping her tongue into your mouth. 
The two of you are now impossibly close as your mouths slide against each other so needily, so fervently. Every brush, every wet smack of your lips ignites more than just a fire between the two of you. Ellie is itching to keep you like this, but she desperately misses all of you. She wants to devour you and solidify the fact into existence that you are hers, and you won’t ever doubt her love for you. 
Droplets of rain wetten the kiss further, but they do nothing to prevent the heat of your mouths enveloped, or stop the way the two of you push and pull closer to each other like magnets. The only thing that breaks the kiss is a sudden bolt of lightning rather close to your location. 
Breathless, Ellie’s forehead meets your own. “We should go back to my garage.” You nod, and quickly, the two of you scamper off to Joel’s backyard in which her small place is located. 
Inside, Ellie’s lips meet yours once more, thirsting and full of longing. Damp clothes are pulled off of the two of you; bodies meet each other and you can feel every inch of Ellie against every centimeter of you. Her stiff nipples graze yours, making you shiver despite the warmth of her garage. 
“Say you love me again,” you plead with her so breathlessly.
She doesn’t hesitate to be truthful, not after holding back for so long. “I love you. I love you so much, it hurts.” 
Her lips drag down your neck, her hands guiding your hips to walk back towards her bed. You fall onto the soft mattress and her body quickly follows yours. Each swipe of her tongue over your skin sends sparks of pink electricity through your veins and between your legs. 
“I need you, Els.” You’re panting, a delirious mess and yet more content than you’ve been in a long time. 
“Shh, I’ve got you. I’ll give you all of me. I’m yours now.” 
Ellie’s body is smothering yours, and she has to settle further down to make contact with your tits. Her mouth is all over the soft, bumpy texture of your nipples, lapping at the hardened peaks to send little shudders through your spine. Your body craves her after so long, but you appreciate all she gives you. Her mouth takes its time on each of your nipples, her love so needy and desperate yet savoring. You grasp at her messy hair, trying to pull her up to kiss you.
When her bare weight settles back onto yours, your mouths soon meet for a slower, but just as intense kiss. You take your time to slide your tongue against hers and lick into her mouth, exploring her as if your time here would last forever. Her body involuntarily grinds against yours and though there’s not direct friction onto either of your clits, you still whimper into each other’s throats.
Ellie’s palm slides down between your humid bodies as she distracts you with her tongue swirling against yours, a delicious sensation you can’t seem to find anywhere else. Her fingers suddenly rub at your clit, making you moan into her mouth, an eager sound so easily swallowed.
This isn’t the first time she’s touched you like this, not even the second time. Still, your body reacts as if this is all new. The way she touches you is sloppy and passionate, not anything in comparison to the previous hook-ups in which she was able to make you cum but gave you what was a watered down, held back version. Now she can give you everything. 
The kiss slows, but your lips lingered against each other’s. You can still lick at the taste of rain droplets on her swollen lips; you wish to rub against them so hard that they taste of nothing but your own lips. 
“Inside me, please.” You beg against her lips, sending fizzles of heat throughout her own cunt and making her clench around nothing. 
“Good,” she mumbles against you as she eases two fingers into your moistened hole to elicit a soft, open gasp from your lips, “wanted to feel inside your cunt again. Missed it.” 
Her calloused fingers work you, stretching your walls to ease any discomfort. You don’t know what to focus on with the amount of feelings coursing through your body - the subtle curve of her breasts are visibly if you flicker down, but you can’t seem to do so as you throw your head back onto her pillow and stare up at her ceiling to try and collect yourself; the way her eyes intensely watch over the way you gnaw at your bottom lip with pleasure, biting down when she curls her digits in the most delicious way possible; her mouth painting noticeable hickeys all over your neck, an action you’d usually scold but can only grasp her face for more; the soft ‘love you’s leaving her mouth between suckling. She can’t help but remind you after all of this time.
Her fingers batter your insides repeatedly, fingertips pressing into your spongy spot until you cry her name and your nails are piercing into her skin. Each slide into your walls and the slight retreats sends waves of pure pleasure through your body, your peak being the only thing either of you can focus on. Her eyes look over your face, watch the way your breath recedes as your orgasm bleeds into your stomach and into your head. Each ripple shooting through your walls causes your walls to clamp down onto her fingers as if to hold them inside of you forever. She doesn’t stop pumping into your hole until you physically cannot withstand it any longer. 
“I love you, Ellie.” 
Your words, so saccharine, make her forget about her plan to cuddle with you after making you feel good. She’s now hitching up your leg and pulling hers over your thigh, slotting her neglected and slick cunt between your legs, her folds grinding against yours and causing you to mewl at the sudden sensation against your clit.
“You love me?” Ellie asks, watching as you nod your head eagerly, “bet this pussy loves me just as much,” her words so filthy make you even wetter than you thought was possible in a single night. 
Ellie whines as her clit receives little sparks of friction, the swollen bud savoring each moment of contact with your cunt. 
“Feels so good, h-holy fuck..” You whine, your hips bucking up into hers in small shudders of movements. The pure sloppiness of your pussies rubbing together causes the room to be filled with the sounds of squelching and strained moans, Ellie’s more breathy and yours more pitched. Her hips quiver against yours as she gets closer and close to cumming, her movements more sloppy as your wetness turns into hers, and hers yours. 
“Please, please, please I’m gonna cum, I’m-” Your own orgasm washes over your body, your back rising to accommodate for the sudden intense pleasure. Soon, Ellie’s cumming with you, not hesitating to swallow up your cries with her lips sealed over yours. You can feel each sloppy hump her cunt gives yours, can feel her whines only attempt to leave her throat. All of it has you drunk off of the feeling, possibly even harder than the last orgasm. Her tongue lazily fucks your mouth as she gives a final few sloppy judders to your clit before her body gives in to the utter exhaustion and she settles on top of you. 
Her body, coated in sweat and her pussy, covered in both of your juices, are completely worn out. Ellie’s head finds sanction in the crook of your neck where her breath tickles your purple-splotched skin. You wrap your arms around her, squeezing her tightly. Her leg brushes up against yours and that’s when you noticeably flinch; right, the scraped knee from earlier. 
Ellie quickly pulls herself off of you to  catch sight of your left knee, slightly red with dried blood and clearly tender.
“I’ll take care of that, just lay here and rest, ‘kay” You nod eagerly, wanting to get rid of the burning sensation as quickly as possible. Ellie quickly pulls on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants before giving you a quick kiss on the forehead, her eyes taking a final glance to admire your naked body sprawled out on her bed.. all she can seem to feel now is love for you. “Stay here and I’ll be back soon.”
-
Quickly, Ellie returns to you with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a large adhesive band-aid. Her face is rather irritated. You raise your eyebrows. 
“What’s with the look?”
She sighs, muttering out, “Joel..that’s all.”
You can’t help but laugh at that. Fuck, you missed Joel. You missed watching movies with Ellie on his couch and the popcorn he’d microwave for the two of you to share. You can already tell by her face that he was pretty teasing about her scavenging through his cabinets for first-aid items looking like a hot mess. “I missed him,” you mumble quietly.
“Yeah… He missed you, too.” Ellie unscrews the lid on the alcohol and braces herself to do what she has to do.“This is gonna hurt, okay?” You nod, bracing yourself. Soon, the stinging of the alcohol hits your knee. It’s sudden and makes you wince. Seeing that look on your face makes Ellie want to stop and just hold you tightly, protect you from any harm. When the sting finally fades, you let out a soft sigh. She quickly peels the back of the band-aid off and with gentle but calloused fingers sticks the adhesive onto your scrape. She gives you a soft smile. “There. All good, now.”
You don’t hesitate to smile back, but another thought crosses your mind. “Hey, Ellie..?”
“Yeah?” Her voice is heavy with exhaustion and a noticeable, gentle affection.
“I meant it when I said I loved you.” 
Ellie gives you a toothy grin, a familiar one. “And I meant it when I said it, too.”
“But..I still just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me that before, you know?”
Ellie exhales quietly and nods, understanding what you mean. “I was really nervous, okay? I’ve just lost people before,” she leans in closer to you, admiring your eyes which observe her as she speaks, brushing messy strands of hair behind your ear, “I know it’s stupid, but it really is true when you hear people say I can’t handle my feelings well. I get all weird about them and I’m like a social recluse when I have a crush for some reason. As much as I just wanted to be around you, I was scared.” 
Your eyes soften slightly from her words, but curiosity takes over. “Scared of what? I wouldn’t ever hurt you, Els.” 
“It’s more than just getting my heart broken by you.. I mean, I’m scared of losing you physically, too.” She admits quietly. 
Ellie’s fears aren’t irrational. Everyday, people who have lovers, have friends and family are bitten or torn apart in the most gruesome ways possible. That’s always a reason to be cautious to care, but you can’t help but want to disagree with that sentiment. 
“But Ellie, you can’t just be alone with the fear of losing the people you care about,” you argue softly, “if you live your life like that, you’ll never get to have all of anyone. Sometimes, you have to risk losing the person you love so that you can at least have them in every way possible, even if it’s temporary.” 
“I know that, believe me. I’m so damn tired of keeping myself away from you and not fully giving you what you deserve.” Ellie leans down to plant a soft peck to your nose, making you giggle, “you deserve to be loved wholeheartedly and not like how I was doing before..so..” she sighs. “If I asked you to be mine, my girlfriend…would you say yes?” 
Your eyes widen and your heart beats faster. “You really mean that?”
Ellie nods, her cheeks red from earlier activities somehow burning brighter. This time, it’s more from embarrassment and something more childish than previously. 
You giggle and quickly lean up to hug her tightly. “Yes. Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.” Ellie pulls you further in, squeezing you tightly. “You gotta promise to not hold back on me, though.”
She nods, feeling emotions pull at her chest at the feeling of your embrace, of finally having you in her arms without having to think about leaving you in the morning. “I promise.”
The rhythmatic, quiet sound of Ellie’s clock lulls you to sleep as she holds you in her arms. 
Tick, tick, tick. 
This time, Ellie won’t hold back from you when you wake up.
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Taglist: @firefly-ace @kaykeryyy
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lxclerc · 11 months ago
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𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 ─ 𝐦𝐯𝟏
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summary: where max verstappen is the subject of a love song from a singer who never writes love songs pairing: max verstappen x american singer!reader faceclaim: no one specifically but based off olivia rodrigo
note: me? writing max verstappen? smau fluff? on main? everyone look away.
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dailyynupdates
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liked by user33, user4, user16 and others
dailyynupdates yn was seen around monte carlo the past few days, taking pictures with fans and allegedly cozying up with three time world champion max verstappen
view all 104,210 comments...
user12 what is going on in the house of commons because this was the last thing i expected
user39 this is quite literally the most random pairing i've ever stumbled across
user91 how do they even know each other 😭 user63 right like...where did this even come from? how did it start? literally how did they meet? they could not be farthest apart in the sphere of famous people
user19 now who the hell is max verstappen and why is he with my wife?
user49 oh girl you have a lot to catch up on the max lore user71 max is a formula one driver user56 saying max is a formula 1 driver like he currently isn't dominating the sport to the point where people hates him saying he's making it boring since he keeps winning because he's just that fucking good that literally no other driver can keep up is kinda wild user10 oh so our girl's new man is good at his job user52 "good at his job might just be the biggest understatement of the century when it comes to max. man's a fucking beast at his job
user48 i dont have to see her with her ratty ex anymore omfg war is over
user93 dare i say...they're adorable
user82 yn being in an age appropriate, healthy relationship? i never thought the day would come
user74 we won for real 🥹🫶
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dailyynupdates
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liked by user23, user31, user69 and others
dailyynupdates max and yn in a video posted by yn's friend 😭
view all 59,129 comments...
user93 oh my god look at them 😭
user81 they look so in love i want to cry
user65 "maximillian, do i look pretty like this?" "you always look pretty" i couldn't quite catch what he said at the end but 😭😭😭
user85 dutch here and i believe he said "laiverd" which means darling user75 this means so much to me user65 you just made my entire week
user45 seeing her in love after all the shit men is healing a part of me i didnt know was broken
user53 max fixing her hood then kissing her cheek what if you just stabbed me
user31 every time i see these, i get the urge to take a shot of bleach 😀
sincerelyyn ✓
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liked by conangrey, maxverstappen1, taylorswift and others
sincerelyyn can't have a conversation if it's not all about you
view all 402,452 comments...
yourfriend as the other person of those conversations, he's fine i guess 😒
sincerelyyn you know i love youuuuu
taylorswift love seeing you happy ❤️
sincerelyyn ❤️❤️ user73 mother is all of us user63 you know it's real when it's taylor swift approved
conangrey i hate happy couples i hope you both trip 🫶
sincerelyyn die 🫶
user92 their friendship is everything to me
user15 not girlie trying to soft launch like we all don't know who it is 😭
user43 THEYRE SO ‼️🥵🥰⚠️
user65 you're so right
user24 i'm so happy finally seeing our girl happy 😭
user84 "someday i'll be everything to somebody else" YES YOU ARE BABYGIRL 😭
maxverstappen1
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liked by sincerelyyn, charles_leclerc, landonorris and others
maxverstappen1 my american girl 🩷
view all 308,291 comments...
charles_leclerc i still can't believe this is happening
maxverstappen1 for someone who don't even follow me, you sure are early to my posts 😒 user91 max gagged him with that im afraid
landonorris please please max talk to her about getting me tickets 😭
user85 lando is just like us fr struggling to get guts tour tickets maxverstappen1 no ❤️ landonorris 😔 sincerelyyn @landonorris let me get you in contact with my team 🤍 maxverstappen1 baby noooo sincerelyyn be nice, max landonorris HELL YEAH THANKS YN user42 this is the crossover i never thought i needed
user66 max posting non racing content and being all soft in the comments for yn in what world am i in
user52 fr i feel like im in an alternate universe 😭
sincerelyyn love youuuu
maxverstappen1 love you more
sincelyyn i never knew love could be so golden till i met you <3
maxverstappen1 mijn hele hart is van jou, schat (you own my entire heart, darling) user42 they mean so very much to me 😭
danielricciardo god the two of you make me nauseous
maxverstappen1 hating because you ain't us danielricciardo im not liking that attitude, kid 😒 user71 daniel is so us
sincerelyyn
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liked by maxverstappen1, taylorswift, yourfriend and others
sincerelyyn so american will be out on all platforms at midnight. a letter to the man i love, the only way i know how ❤️
view all 592,649 comments...
maxverstappen1 i adore you with everything in my being ❤️
sincerelyyn ik hou van je (i love you)
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i hope you guys liked this as much as i loved writing it 🫶
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bbystark · 5 months ago
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♡ simon is a bad stalker part 2 ♡
badstalker!simon x reader series - pt one three
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♡ masterlist ♡ request more! ♡
summary: in which you meet your stalker, but not in the way you thought. mdni
a/n: the response on my last fic?? omg?? crazy. this is for @madzzz0797 and everyone else who requested! i love yall.
simon isn't someone to be stunned. the dude has seen some shit, not much has the capacity to knock the air out of his lungs.
except you, of course. "i want to meet you."
what in the actual fuck.
the words rattle around his skull, and he has to actually brace himself against the wall.
there is actually no way. he shouldn't be surprised, really. despite the fact that you didn't even know his name, he knew everything about you.
he knew the reason you started seeing a therapist wasn't because you were afraid of something happening to you, it was the fact that you didn't know what was going to happen.
above all else you really just hated not understanding what the "why's" in life. of course you weren't going to the police. only you would be primarily focused on figuring out why he was doing what he was doing, personal safety aside.
simon has no idea how to respond, so he simply hangs up. he's suddenly overwhelmed by the consequences of his own actions. he hadn't covered his tracks well because he somehow simply missed the severity what he was doing.
to him his motive was simple; he found you to be one of the only good things left in this world and it was only natural that he tries to protect you from the bad.
but then he realized that to you, some strange man was interfering with your life and literally sending personal drivers to your rescue seemingly out of nowhere.
again, simon thinks, he's completely fucked.
he weighs his options, like he has any. so far, you've taken the situation relatively well, and it seems like the only way he could do any type of damage control is to give you what you want.
on the other hand, he wants to run for the hills. to ghost you, essentially. but he knows he can't for the same reason he started this whole thing in the first place.
simon had an undeniable need to keep you safe and close.
° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °
when the line goes dead, you audibly say "what the fuck!?" to no one. he's the one stalking you, and he hangs up? what a dick.
then, as you begin to sober, you realize how much of a fucked up situation you're in. you contemplate calling a friend, spilling your guts about everything. then you realize it's 3am, and you should probably go to bed.
the following week you kind of just... go on as usual. you still feel watched, but for some reason you don't feel it as intensely. you wonder if you spooked your own stalker, and the thought almost makes you giggle.
then you come home one day and you immediately know something is off. your cat doesn't greet you as quickly as usual, (something that started when simon started coming around, he knew how much you worried about the thing being lonely, so he took it upon himself to drop by and give it attention every once in a while).
then you see it, a box of pastry on your kitchen table. you drop your purse on the ground, approaching it like it was an explosive.
a pretty little bow is wrapped around it (simon had seen your pinterest, he doesn't understand the bow obsession, but he knows you would like it)
you open the box, a note taped on the lid. it was your favorite croissants from your favorite bakery, and you shiver a little when you realize the box is still warm.
you snatch the note from the lid, shooing your cat away from sniffing at the croissants.
"i'm sorry. we can meet soon, i promise."
you roll your eyes. you can't believe he's suddenly back with a note and pastries like he's an ex you broke it off with.
and then it sinks in, he said you would meet soon.
almost as if on cue, your home computer chimes.
you pick up your cat, clutching to her like she would be any help in the situation. you open your inbox and pale when you see a blocked email.
you open it, almost dropping your cat when you see that it's a zoom link.
your stalker just sent you a zoom link like you were about to have a business meeting. you click the link before you can change your mind, seeing the little pop up that informs you one person is in the meeting.
there was no way you were about to have a meet and greet over zoom with your fucking stalker.
you immediately close out of the tab and walk away, setting your cat down and laughing at the absurdity of the situation. you laugh like a psycho for a long time, your cat throwing you judgmental looks.
then you stop laughing, and you find yourself sitting in front of your computer with your cursor hovering over the 'join meeting' button.
you check one more time that your camera is turned off and will your shaking hand to click the stupid button.
° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °
simon watches as you laugh, and it does nothing to help calm his nerves. he silently hopes that you choose not to join the stupid video call because he's not even sure he could get any words out if you did.
the zoom was soap's idea, saying it might take the edge off (and the risk of you calling the cops). simon thought it was stupid but reluctantly agreed at the prospect of being one step closer to you.
he's pulled from his thoughts when the annoying doorbell chime lets him know that you did it, you actually joined the meeting. with your camera off, of course, not that it mattered when simon had your whole place bugged anyway.
his heart stops, he sees you staring at the screen, taking in a scarily large man in a mask and hood. he doesn't know where to put his eyes, much less what to say.
you break the ice for him, "this is way fucking weirder than just meeting you in person."
he wants to laugh, but stays silent, watching as you instinctively lean farther and farther away from your screen.
he watches you for a second before responding. "thought it would be easier like this."
for you or for him, you have no idea. you don't ask about the mask, assuming he just didn't want you to be able to identify him.
"yeah okay. um," he watches your face screw up as you try to find the words.
you settle with a simple "what the fuck?"
you watch him as he shifts in his seat, room dark and giving you no hints as to who he was.
"name's ghost." you scoff.
"i-," he stops and collects his thoughts, "i don' wanna hurt you."
you raise an eyebrow. "then what do you want?" he stays silent.
his silence irritates you, and you spur on. "what's the endgame here, ghost? because it's starting to get real fucking weird, i mean if you're gonna murder me eventually just get it over with because these little acts of kindness are driving me fucking insane."
his callsign coming from your lips sends a thrill through him, and he has to really concentrate to respond.
"...didn't really think about it. just know i want to keep you safe."
you balk at him. you had no idea why you thought he would spill his whole manifesto and confess his every thought to you.
"you know what you're doing is wrong right? being in my apartment, following me around? despite the good things you do for me?"
his entire body warms when you acknowledge the small things he's done for you, he revels in the fact that you know he's taking care of you.
"'spose so." a beat "then why are you doing it?"
he doesn't have an answer for you. "listen, ghost. you're going to meet me in person and you're going to have a lot more answers or else-" you find your voice wavering. "or else i will go to the police."
you don't give him time to respond, you simply end the call and or good measure unplug your computer, like it will somehow distance you from what happened.
you go to your bedroom, sitting on your bed heavily. you were shaking, uncontrollable shivers wracking your body.
you had just dug your grave deeper, in your childish and immature quest to understand you had just given your stalker an open invitation to come to you.
you were so fucked.
672 notes · View notes
bbanghiitomi · 9 months ago
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BORROWED TIME
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pairing: idol!khaerin x nj6thmem!fem!reader
trope: first love! angst with comfort! eventual fluff!
haerin sighed for the thousandth time, she realized just how tiring it was to keep sighing - ridiculous, haerin thought as she stared at herself at the mirror. how weird has this day been? she doesn't know, it's always been weird ever since y/n came back from the hospital, the doctors said she was fine, the blow she got on her head when she had an accident during one of their intensive trainings didn't physically damage her. to haerin, it was kind of hard to believe, how could such a huge blow not do any damage? it had to hurt so much, right?
oh well, y/n's charts that her physician provided didn't seem to show any anomalies...
she told herself not to think too much about it, but that's what haerin does best. she can't stop thinking about y/n, she stayed at the hospital for almost 3 months, hell, it was the worst accident that ever happened to their group; haerin remembered how terrible that night was, everyone was crying and worried sick, y/n fell on the floor and hit her head pretty hard on the ground.
but she survived, haerin hated to say this but it was even a miracle y/n survived, the blow was so hard that it could have shaken her brain and damaged it but her charts didn't show any problem in her brain.
till now, she seemed fine.
maybe she knew y/n more than anyone else but, it doesn't stop bothering her, even tonight.
"excuse me." y/n's voice echoed inside the bathroom, she walked her way towards the sink and stood beside haerin to brush her teeth, haerin stared at the girl and watched as the girl brushed her teeth.
"hey, today's the start of our filming... there's nothing wrong that can happen, right?" this has been occurring in the past few weeks since y/n came back from the hospital, haerin was glad for her to be back but it felt different.
y/n can't seem to recognize haerin's voice, she was functioning like an idol, she can dance to beat, hit the right notes, and act like her usual self but the least y/n thing to do is not respond immediately to what haerin was telling her, it felt weird.
y/n turned around to look at haerin and gave her a soft smile. "don't worry." just like that, haerin doesn't understand the sudden shift in her responses, she's the same way with the other members.
there were times were y/n took a few seconds to reply to the members, often times it felt like she couldn't recognize who is who.
but how?
haerin has no logical explanation, y/n's condition was beyond words, it was hard to explain, she didn't lose memories no, she could tell her members name, she knows what her life was once before the incident but it felt like a part of y/n was missing, barely holding on.
if haerin was to explain this to people, they'd think she's insane.
y/n left the bathroom and haerin, the girl frowned, damned and confused.
it's not like haerin has the sharpest eyes amongst everyone, literally, the shape of her eyes were sharp, but the way she see things weren't always as accurate as it is. but when she stared at y/n during their shooting, in the house where the light was shining upon y/n's face, she knew she had to get these feelings out soon.
y/n was silent, she turned to haerin and gave haerin a small smile. "it's hot isn't it? i didn't want to go to the convenience store with the others cause i knew you'd stay." y/n is still y/n, her memories are well intact, she knows haerin and everything about her.
maybe it's time for haerin to stop thinking too much.
what was that feeling? haerin blinked her eyes and stared at y/n. "i'm glad you're okay." haerin muttered, y/n nodded.
y/n felt bad, just how long does she need to hide this? she knew haerin was catching up to her, y/n knew how rare her cognitive disorder were from the force she got during the incident; she was scared they'd turn her into a lab rat.
that night, when she opened her eyes again, she could barely tell who was who, she knew her members' names but she couldn't recognize their faces as familiar. now, y/n is scared to close her eyes, because when she does, haerin's face fades away...
that same night, haerin didn't speak while everyone did, y/n couldn't remember what her voices sounded like, even now, whenever she's away from haerin, she can't recognize her voice.
in her three months inside the hospital, it felt like hell, her tactile sense was impaired, her auditory sensory too, and even her visual sensory was beyond repair; somehow y/n knew it was hard to explain her condition.
but there was hope, obviously, she really wasn't all that crippled, to y/n, it was just a side effect, yet it's hard to deal with but it was the best outcome out of all. who knows? if she wasn't lucky enough to survive that accident, she would've been dead by now.
yet, she is alive. y/n has to accept that she will live her upcoming years dealing with the anguish that her condition will bring her, it was hard to keep hiding but it was for the best.
y/n looked at haerin. "i promise, i'll always be okay." haerin looked down, it had to be the truth, right? perhaps, their perspective on that promise were different, y/n can only guarantee that everything haerin saw in her was okay, but haerin wanted to know deeper.
the girls came back with snacks, a cold soda, and some breads. y/n turned her head away as hanni cheered, y/n can't tell who was that, every now and then, she kept forgetting the girls' facial features, except for their hair and clothes.
hanni has a short hair in this filming, so it was easy to distinguish her from everyone else, the same with danielle with her curly hair.
y/n is only happy she picks up on it quickly without them noticing.
one day, she'll have to stop playing pretend and come in terms with her reality.
"you want bread?" hanni asked y/n, to which she nodded and smiled. "of course." she beamed at hanni and grabbed the bread.
ah, y/n couldn't tell if this bread was heavy or not.
"it's so soft!" danielle smiled, haerin watched y/n as she looked over the members with a smile. yeah, haerin hated herself for always thinking twice.
both her and y/n needed to make up their mind, find a place where they want their minds to reside, they can't keep going off anywhere.
y/n can't tell what texture this bread had, is it smooth or rough? soft or tough?
her disorder limited her performance in identifying most objects.
the whole filming felt natural, well, it was a tough job but overall, y/n managed to keep up quite well. she was happy to be given this chance to continue with newjeans, she promised herself nothing was limiting her from doing something she loved and being with the people she cares for.
ah, it was another one of those nights again when y/n is in her bed and crying; she can't feel her face, it's been numb and tired.
why does she feel like this?
it's horrible...
why can't she just be honest with what she feels? why does she have to suffer?
it's scary, she can't recognize haerin's voice, her members' face were out of the picture. once again, even for only a short amount of time, they felt like strangers to her.
she needed help and if she can't get it, her cognitive disorder will destroy her whole being, something worse than a nightmare, is her confusion, a poison was the truth.
there's no certain cure for agnosia, maybe it was a bad idea for her to surf the internet for an answer, it must be just anxiety, yeah - she's probably just worrying too much.
y/n sighed, the truth was a pill she couldn't swallow, necessary but felt like a punch on the gut, denial was her only answer, tonight, she wants to still her resolve to face her contests.
haerin heard faint sobbing as she leaned her ears on the door, she sighed, it's one of those nights again. haerin wanted to know what was putting y/n into these kinds of situations, crying herself to sleep until the time burns out and she's left to keeping herself awake till the next day.
haerin knows y/n and her have a connection only they can understand, it was some kind of feelings that both they shared and individually had. something that's hurting y/n is hurting haerin too. haerin knocked on the door. "y/n? are you okay? this is haerin."
y/n rose from her bed and wiped her tears, it's haerin, she knew only because haerin revealed herself.
"come in..." y/n faint voice made haerin's heart skip a beat.
when haerin opened the door, she caught a glimpse of y/n's back, haerin curled her brows but only for a few seconds as she gathered her courage.
"i could hear your sobs you know? what's bothering you?" there was no point with hiding, y/n looked at haerin, the swollen eyes caught the cat-like girl off guard, she sighed and sat on the other edge of the bed, their backs facing each other.
"a lot..." y/n muttered, haerin nodded.
"i guessed it, want to share it?" haerin's offer sounded tempting at the moment, y/n felt like it made sense if she finally came to agreement about what she felt, she'd be able to understand haerin more and get the heavy feelings off of her chest.
"it feels a little heavy for me to share... but i guessed it's you so..." y/n shifts her posture as she turned a bit to face haerin's back, she had a small sheepish smile, haerin chuckled; from what she remembered, the heaviest for her was having to see y/n at the hospital, it made her hate the emptiness of every corridor, the heaviness of her heart weighing all the worries she carried for y/n.
the comfort the practice room once gave her was gone, all that was left is fear of something worse as she await y/n's return.
"i can take it." haerin stated.
"i'm consulting a doctor, again." haerin finally turned her head, both of their backs facing each other but their eyes were on one another. haerin raised her eyebrows. "like your weekly checkups with the physician?" well it was something everyone knew was a part if y/n's new routine.
"why? you don't wanna go there anymore?" haerin asked again.
y/n shook her head as she took a heavy breath. "no," she paused, it was for the best, if she stopped consulting her physician, one thing could go wrong and it's over but she needed more help.
"i... i'll try reaching out to psychiatrists..." haerin looked at y/n, surprised, it was out of pocket.
"why..?" haerin was rather afraid to ask but she wanted to know. y/n shook her head and sighed. "that i'm still trying to look for an answer myself, i felt the need to reach out to a psychiatrist but i can only get the answer why i got the urge if i can hear them out." y/n answered, it was know haerin's turn to shake her head.
"no, there's definitely something wrong." the past was their playful banter, y/n remembers those memories with haerin but all with a distorted image of haerin's face and an almost empty sound of her voice.
even the touch of haerin's palm was unrecognizable to y/n.
that was her problem. "it's hard to explain." y/n said.
haerin frowned and looked down. "are you going to be okay?" like a sad kitten, haerin asked as she looked at y/n. y/n gave her a nod. "of course."
agnosia...
prosopagnosia, the disorder that affects her ability to recognize familiar faces.
phonagnosia, inability to recognize familiar voices, and ahylognosia, the disorder that hinders the identification of textures and materials.
the psychiatrist couldn't give her a proper answer to a cure, even he looked unsure; it brought y/n's hopes down. he could only say that time can help y/n re-develop these skills, it was a side effect of the trauma her head caught during her accident.
"give it at least three or more months. it should be advisable to stay with friends, families, or loved ones, that's the only thing you should really worry about, it doesn't get worse over time as long as you keep great contact with familiar people in your life."
that's what he said.
though, there isn't an instant cure, y/n held on to what her psychiatrist said, he'll keep in touch and check up on her every now and then, maybe that'll help.
as y/n was heading home, she kept listening to their own songs, familiarize... and remember...
watching music videos was her answer, since she gets to call her family all the time she needed to, y/n's main focus is once again recognizing her members.
when she got home, haerin noticed this.
"hey, you've been watching a lot of our music videos." she pointed out, y/n looked up at haerin, just a bit more, she told herself.
"yeah, i like our songs." it was true but in this situation it wasn't.
"how did your consultation went?" haerin asked, not taking no more risk to lose the chances. the members were gone except for the two girls. "it went as expected." y/n answered.
haerin looked down at y/n who sat down at her chair and haerin scratched her cheek. "i hate beating around the bush, can you tell me what you got? i promise i'll keep it." y/n appreciates haerin's honesty but it was hard to say something that took her a lot to understand.
y/n stood up from her seat and shook her head at haerin. "maybe the right time will come, i have something i want to say more now that that." y/n faced haerin and sighed as she let out a sheepish laugh.
haerin blushed as the gap between them got smaller, she really isn't good about these things unless they're playful, definitely not when it's y/n. "what is it?" maybe she shouldn't push the psychiatrist topic so much; it worried haerin yes, but it didn't seem right to y/n, it wasn't her choice.
"do you like me?" it was such a short question but haerin was taken back as she pointed to herself, she's got her tongue tied as she looked away with a soft blush.
"what's that suddenly about?" haerin asked as she looked at y/n again, y/n smiled and shook her head. "nothing, anyway i'll just get something from minji's room." y/n shrugged and haerin saw y/n walked past her and haerin reached over to y/n's shoulder. "wait!"
y/n turned around and looked at haerin as the cat-like girl took a heavy breathe. "i, i have something to say. promise we'll stay the same?" haerin's face looked delicate, to y/n's eyes, her expression were cute. "of course." she said.
"hm, i like you yeah. but why would u ask?" haerin looked at y/n before scratching her cheek. y/n stared at haerin and smiled, she shrugged and looked away for only a few seconds. "well, if i were to be honest it makes things easier for me. you know? just watch over me okay? i'll eventually get better in no time." y/n said as she beamed at haerin, haerin nodded, a soft blush covering her cheeks.
"well, as long as you tell me about what you feel." haerin shrugged, her breath feels short, must have been her heart beating too much. y/n looked down and nodded. "i promise to be transparent." y/n muttered as she leaned her head on haerin's shoulder.
y/n rubbed her face on the soft fabric of haerin's clothes, the cat-like girl's smell wafted around her, the smell of the fresh fabric conditioner. she's afraid if she closes her eyes her mind would be in a blur.
haerin looked at y/n, she awkwardly stayed still.
"i'm sorry," y/n sighed. "i can't really find a way to communicate what i'm going through, not to you, not to the members." haerin nodded.
"it is harder for you than everyone else..." haerin muttered.
"everyone will find out sooner anyway, i don't have to hide forever." y/n smiled as she she felt haerin's arms around her.
a future with everyone, that's what y/n wanted, though hard to put into imagination, she wishes that once all is over, she'll still be with haerin.
"it's okay, i won't let them force you if you don't want to." haerin knew she sounded silly, it was something tough and brave for her to say but it was true, she'd be willing to speak up if it was for y/n's betterment.
y/n chuckled and nodded. "i trust you." she whispered.
y/n doesn't want to close her eyes, she wants to know that she's with haerin, that when haerin speaks, her eyes could see her presence, she wanted more than to feel, it was out of her capabilities as her cognitive disorder limited her to be able to do such things;
if she closes her eyes, she wouldn't know it's haerin speaking, she wouldn't certainly be able to imagine the familiarity of haerin's face.
maybe just now, but in the future anything could change - hopefully.
haerin had to shake her mind off of y/n's secrets, not everything has to have her in the picture and she understood it.
haerin and y/n both hopes for something better to come, maybe tomorrow it will change, maybe not - maybe it'll only take a couple of days or if not, weeks, months or even a year or two. it's hard to try and live in the future if the present needed to be change; no one certainly knew what would happen.
but in this present, y/n only needed her family, friends, and haerin. through what limited her capabilities, it's not enough to put y/n to a full stop and not enough for haerin to keep caring for the girl.
as they stood in the middle of y/n's room, haerin's hug starts to feel tighter, without y/n noticing it.
"i love you." haerin thought, well, she didn't have enough courage to say it.
sighing, haerin carefully puts a hand on top of y/n's head and gently caressed y/n's hair. for a brief moment or more, it felt like home.
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hughiecampbelle · 6 months ago
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The Boys Preference: Dying Of The Supe Virus
Requested: Hi!! I wanted to request a preference for the boys + homelander reaction if R was dying from supe virus... I love your blog, thank you ♥️♥️♥️♥️ - anon
A/N: I kinda took it in two directions, either actively dying or already dead. I think some perspectives just worked better that way! I really hope you like it my love! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜
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Butcher pretends it didn't matter to him, but he definitely blames himself. It might've been Sameer who shot you up with the virus, but it was him who put you in charge of him. It was Billy who thought to put a Supe in charge of the only thing in the world that could kill you. When Frenchie breaks the news, Kimiko carrying your body in, he feels like he's going to be sick. He was the one who was dying. It should have been him. He tries to help the team move on, focus, and orders Frenchie to extract the virus from your body, but underneath he's broken. He didn't trust or like a lot of Supes, the majority actually, but you were different. You were close, whether or not he could admit to it. There was nothing he could do to save you. He couldn't turn back time, he couldn't prevent this. He looks like he's moved on, but Butcher feels stuck in the moment, watching your face, waiting for you to laugh and tell him it was just another sick joke.
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Hughie laughs. He's hysterical. The ridiculousness of it all, of the situation. You? Dead? You couldn't die. You walked away from a bullet between your eyes with a smile. You made moving on from death look easy. Effortless. He's afraid to touch you, to look at you. He truly believes, for a moment, that that's not you. Your features are bubbled and blistered, but he recognizes your hands. Hughie backs away, stifling a laugh, escaping to the bathroom where he throws up. Annie tries to go after him, but M. M. stops her. He smiles despite himself, crying and laughing, unable to control himself. He already lost his dad. He couldn't lose you, too. Like M.M. he feels like an idiot, selfish even. He never imagined a world where you could be killed. He never thought he'd have to worry about you. Now you weren't just hurt, you were dead. Murdered. He can't accept it. You didn't deserve to suffer the way you did. You didn't deserve to die. Hughie is a mix between denial and hysteria.
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Annie is overwhelmed with despair and depression. You've known her since the beginning. You were the first person she ever became close to in NYC. Now you were gone. She throws herself into your funeral arrangements, practically biting the head off anyone who tries to interrupt her or make her take a break. When she's not staying up until the early morning trying to make the memorial perfect, she's sobbing behind closed doors. She tries to keep herself composed as much as possible, but everyone can see the mask slipping. Cracking. Her eyes are permanently black from mascara running. She's not eating or sleeping. When Butcher says to extract the virus from your body, she goes postal. She calls him cruel and heartless and pathetic. She can't help it. Your body is barely cold and he's still thinking about taking down Homelander. It was inhumane.
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M.M. is angry. Angry at Frenchie and Kimiko (he knows it isn't fair, but he just can't help it), angry at you, and angry at himself. He got too close to you. You were a Supe, after all. The very thing he vowed to hate. And then you showed up, and he started to care about you despite himself. And now you're gone. He feels like in idiot. He thought you were bulletproof. Literally. He never once had to worry about you or think about what would happen if you passed. It never crossed his mind. He was constantly worrying and fixating on everyone else, but you would always be okay. His OCD gets so much worse in response to his grief. Everything must be done in threes. The burners, the locks, everything must be checked three times. Everyone starts to worry the more out of control his rituals become. His panic attacks, too, get worse. Less manageable. Every time he thinks about you, what happened to you, he feels like his heart will pound out of his chest.
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Frenchie is deeply in denial. He was so busy bickering and then making up with Kimiko that he hadn't realized Sameer had broken free. You were the first to jump at the chance to stop him, and that's what got you killed. The needle plunged into your ankle. He couldn't stop it. He couldn't cut off your limb. Your Supe abilities didn't work like that. The blisters bubbled fast, moving up your leg to your torso, your chest. You clawed at your neck, crying out, unable to form words. Frenchie begged and prayed, but it wasn't stopping. He had to break the news about your death. He definitely blames himself. If he had been paying more attention. If he had been the one to react instead of you. Even though he watched you die, he's still in denial. He can't accept it and thinks you'll be back in no time. He gets angry when you don't call or text and is intensely lonely because he's expecting you to reach out. He just can't wrap his head around it and absolutely hates that Annie's planning your funeral. You were fine. Why did you need a funeral for someone who was perfectly fine?
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Kimiko blames herself, too. If she'd been the one to get the virus, if she'd been the one injected, they could have stopped it. They could have moved on. Instead, she sat beside you, unblinking, unmoving, stroking your arm. Even as Frenchie extracts the virus from your body, your blood, she doesn't let go of you. M.M. and Annie urge her to sleep and eat (though they're both doing little of that themselves), but she can't move from you. When she does sleep, it's with her head beside you. Everyone knows you only have so much time before your body starts to decompose. They want to give her as much time as she needs, but they're also working against the clock. She definitely reacts like after Kenji was killed, crawling and hiding under tables, unresponsive with her usual kindness. She's cold, cagey, spiky. There's no reaching her when she's like this. They have to let her be. Let her grieve. Eventually she'll find her way back.
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Bonus! Homelander thinks everyone's lying. Ashley breaks the news to him, petrified and sweating. Something, a virus or bug or whatever, killed you. Because The Boys still needed your body, they mailed pictures of you to the Vought Tower addressed to Ashley. He looks through them, and though she tells him they're not fake, he orders them to check again. He holds on to one, unable to look away. When they tell him that yes, definitively, they are real, he orders everyone out. He goes to his floor and destroys everything. Everything is a mess. He hasn't cried like this in years, decades even. Uncontrollable sobbing, caressing your picture. You were the only one he ever really cared about. Now you were dead because of those asssholes. He doesn't come up with a strategy or plan. He will search the entire world until he has Butchers head on a platter. Until that whole fucking group is torn limb by limb.
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blackcoldcrackedheart · 4 months ago
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In a write-y mood...
Buck feels stuck in place while he watches Athena and Bobby reunite. She's banged up and bloody but Bobby's squeezing her hand tightly while emt wheels her to an ambulance.
Buck feels everything all at once. Relief, panic, fear, dread, he feels stuck and heavy. He feels like he wants to scream but he can't because then he would just be-
"Hey."
Buck jumps at the hand on his biceb.
"You okay?"
Buck tries to say something.
Anything but he feels like if he opens his mouth he might vomit.
"Evan? You're scaring me here, are you okay?"
Buck feels jittery and can barely lift his hand, let a lone understand what's being asked if him.
He feels his body being pulled, the weight of someone's hand in his only helps him minutely about where he is and what's going on around him.
He feels something hard press against his back and fingers under his chin and what feels like a hand against his chest.
"Let's breath, okay? Deep breath in and hold for three and out."
It takes a minute for his brain and body to process and follow through with the direction, but once he does he feels the hand on his chest start to slowly rub in circles and he leads his face into the hand that still on his cheek.
"Thanks." He huffs out, still panting a bit as his panic attack subsides and he feels his breathing become even again. There's still a weird tingly feeling down his hands, arms, and legs but he tries to literally shake the weird feeling out of his hands, flexing them just so he can get rid of that feeling.
"You had a panic attack, Evan." Buck sees the fear and concern clear as day in Tommy's eyes and facial expression. A bit of his heart hurts at the idea that he made Tommy worry.
Buck licks his lips, hating how dry his lips feel. He let's himself sag against what he now realizes is a firetruck.
"Yeah. I-I guess I panicked." He swallow uncomfortably, almost waiting for the disgust to show in Tommy's reaction.
Tommy nodded understandably, rubbing his thumb against Buck's cheekbone. "I bet. I almost did too. Who knew I would be co-piloting a plane to land with a cop and 10 yr old kid." He joked, Buck could tell he was watching him intently. "It's okay if you were scared. I was terrified too. Athena and everyone are safe."
Buck nodded, he hated that he could feel the panic creep in again and felt his eyes burn. "That's not exactly why I started to panic. Why I'm panicking now." He admitted, his voice raw and on the verge of tears.
He saw how Tommy's stance and expression changed, Tommy took a step closer and his brows furrowed as he took both hands to cradle Buck's face.
"What happened?"
Buck felt like he was gulping down sand. "I-I might have killed Gerrard." He admitted lowly.
"What?"
"I- not on purpose. I-I don't think? He just kept going and laying it on me and berating me and the others during roll call and I-I saw something fly towards us- him. It was a blade from a blade saw that the work crew was using and it broke and flew into the station so I-I sort of tackled Gerrard to the ground but I didn't think to protect his head or anything so he fell back hard because of me and he started to bleed out and I-I might have killed him and no one cares! I know he was a jerk, but I still might have killed the man and I don't know if I meant to save him or really hurt him or-"
"Evan." Tommy gave him a little worried shake by the shoulders, Buck hadn't noticed Tommy had called his name three times. He moved his hand to Buck's chest again, over his heart. "Breath, okay?" He reminded his boyfriend.
"You didn't kill him. From what you just told me, you saved him. You thought quickly on your feet too and if you were really hoping to hurt or kill him then I don't think you would be beating yourself up like this." Tommy pointed out.
Buck didn't look like he believed him. His entire face was red and he still looked like he would breakdown.
"I-I still might have killed him, Tommy. And no one cared, they all started to dance and I- what if he doesn't make it? I mean the guy was horrible, sure, but he still was a person. I'm sure he has a family who's gonna be -"
"Annoyed that he's hurt but probably relieved that a blade saw didn't go through him." Tommy noted, "We don't know what's going to happen next, he might live because of you."
"I don't know if that's better or worse." Buck admitted. Buck wanted to lay his head agaisnt Tommys shoulder and Tommy just wanted to hug his boyfriend. They were still on the clock and in the field.
"You're coming home with me after our shifts, okay."
"Tommy, you don’t need-"
Tommy waved him off, pointing directly at Buck's face now. "I want to, Evan. Let me take care of you, alright?"
Buck rolled his eyes, "This isn't about me though, I wasn't trying to make it about me!"
Tommy peered around them, making sure they were still out of sight. He pressed Buck back into the truck again. "I'm making it about you because you just went through something scary, Evan. I just watched my boyfriend have a panic attack so yeah, I'm going to make sure this is about you and after our shift, you're coming home with me and we're gonna take a nap and then have a long talk about what you want to next about Gerrard. Okay?"
Buck didn't know what to say.
"Please baby?"
Buck nodded, "Yeah, okay. You'll pick me up from the station?"
Tommy nodded, his smile getting Buck to feel butterflies as always. "I'll drive through downtime traffic twice over for you."
They both snickered at that before leaving to join their respective crew.
On the way back Buck messaged Tommy 'Thank you'.
He felt lighter as he saw Tommy's response '❤'
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o-sachi · 5 months ago
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Orter Madl Relationship Headcanons
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ᯓ character; orter madl (mashle) ᯓ tags; fluff, sfw, gn reader, no y/n
[🐟]: Ngl, I had a hard time trying to make rs hcs for this guy because he's literally un-romanceable in reality SOB.
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— I'm not sure how you managed to bag this guy. But... congrats. Like, truly, you deserve it. Up until dating you, this guy has never shown an ounce of interest in romance AT ALL. Perhaps you could say that his type is simply "you"?
— But maybe he gets into a relationship since it's transactional; he gets something from you and you get something from him. He has always been a rational person, so this is the only way he can rationalize something like "love" if he even believes in such a concept.
— Perhaps he'll give more of his time to you than any other person. Not that he expects you to feel special because of that. Though, somehow, the transactional relationship is able to blur some boundaries and help both of you ease into spending more time with each other.
— You don't know it, but he does look out for you, especially if he gets something from you that's really valuable. He'll always be on the look for anything that's bound to threaten your safety. There have also been instances when he butts into one of your fights.
— There isn't a day when he doesn't question you or your motives. Again, he tries to rationalize everything. So he can't make sense when you do things selflessly for him. What's the point if you don't get more in return? You confused him plenty and those thoughts plague his mind more than he'd like them to.
— One day, while spending time together, he'll be staring holes in the back of your head. What's he thinking? Well, let's just say he's having the biggest crisis of his life (having thoughts/feelings that cannot be rationalized). He'll be in a pissy mood for the rest of the day, but he takes it out on everyone else but you.
— The change of heart happens excruciatingly slow, but there will be signs. Perhaps you won't notice it at first, but certainly everyone else around the two of you can see it—clear as day.
— Eventually, he starts to see your values—not as a wizard—but as a person. Your strength, unwavering determination, and goal oriented mindset all seem quite alluring to him. It just never occurred to him before that these things could mean something else out of a fight.
— Through time, he'll just let himself be drawn to you. After all, there's nothing wrong about respecting someone who upholds justice and righteousness like he does. You're strong and can hold your ground. If anyone will take up space in his life—it might as well be you.
— His idea of softening up is showing you his tough love. He knows the types of things you get yourself into as a wielder of magic, so he reminds you to get stronger everyday even if it kills you. He'll practice with you and show no mercy. In his mind, he's thinking of wanting you to become self-sufficient to the point that you can handle yourself even without him by your side.
— He hates it when other people talk about you, even praises annoy him. But if he hears anyone insult you... they'll find themselves buried 6 ft. deep under sand. Without knowing it, he thinks so highly of you now—that if anyone were to utter the mere thought of you pisses him off. At this point, he lets you walk closely by his side so that everyone knows you are not to be messed with.
— You'll never hear him say the words, "I love you." But on a special occasion—like your birthday or your anniversary— he'll do something sweet for you (much to your surprise). You walk into his training grounds, a vast space with a bunch of sand. In the middle is a big heart made out of sand with him standing right beside it. Then he says something like, "Today's a special occasion hence the shape," or something unromantic like that lol.
o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.
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ackermai07 · 9 months ago
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hi there !! i hope you're having a great day so far ^^
i wanted to request the three musketeers (katsuki, izuku, shoto) that give prince/ss treatment to reader ! like the reader is just so tooth-rotting sweet that the boys can't help but treat reader that way ฅʕ◍·̀·́◍ʔฅ
you are so free to ignore this if its not up to your taste ^^ thank you in advance !! 💌🍰
girl you're crazy if you think this isn't up to my taste, you literally blessed me with this! Anyways I hope you have fun reading, enjoy!
𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: Todoroki, Bakugou, Midoriya, fem!reader
𝗪𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: headcanon, fluff!
Don't repost!
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The one thing we all agree on.
He'll cook for you.
No one argues with this; he's literally your personal chef.
He'll always make sure you eat well, whether you're a big eater or not.
This damn guy will literally stuff your stomach and cook for you anytime.
You can wake him up even at 2 a.m., and he won't mind, like:
"Hey, Katsu... I'm feeling kinda hungry... so-"
"Shut up, I already know."
And boom, he'll get up to cook a delicious meal for you and make sure you go to sleep feeling full.
He also loves styling your hair, no matter the type.
Straight, wavy, curly, it doesn't matter.
Just tell him how you want your hair, and he'll do it professionally.
He does most of the chores for you, like cooking, washing dishes, doing laundry, etc.
He absolutely hates seeing you tired or exhausted; he sees himself strong enough to do everything.
"You weren't created for exhaustion, not even your beautiful ass deserves to be tired from sitting."
Another reason he always holds you in his arms when you're alone together.
He always brings snacks for you at school.
At the end of each class, he turns around to give you candy or chocolate to keep you energized.
(He completely refuses to admit he brought them for you, always saying he got them by chance.)
When you're sitting in the dorm with others, he lets you rest your head on his shoulder if you're tired.
He absolutely doesn't let you go downstairs; he always carries you bridal style while going down while you're in his arms.
His excuse is that you're too foolish and will definitely trip and fall and hurt yourself.
(He loves you dearly and worries about you like crazy.)
Did I mention he's your guard dog?
Wherever you are, he walks behind you and gives death glares to anyone who dares to stare at you.
He also makes sure every day that he's the first person to say good morning or goodnight to you, whether in person or through messages.
He's not a big person with words, but he makes sure to say "I love you" enough times because he knows it makes you happy.
Believe me, he's just there for your happiness (I would die for this man).
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This boy is the epitome of sweetness.
He's not just a green flag, he's the whole forest.
One thing I'm sure of is that he'll take notes for you during classes.
Even if you've already taken your own notes, he doesn't mind.
He still brings your notebooks and edits your notes to make them look like his own.
If you ask him why he does this, he simply replies:
"Just to ensure our information is the same so we don't have any problems when we study together."
He just loves being the reason behind your intellectual growth and knowing that he's helping you.
Every night, literally every night, he braids your hair.
Because he simply read that braiding hair before bed helps keep it healthy.
(He loves touching your hair and smelling its scent.)
Speaking of nighttime, he takes you for walks at night when everyone else is asleep and lies on the grass to watch the sky just because you told him you love seeing the stars.
He's literally the kind of gentleman who lays his jacket over a puddle of water for you to walk on so you don't get wet.
He has a sixth sense about you, so for example, whenever something bad happens to you, he's already there to fix it.
He's 100% ready to defend you against anyone and doesn't feel embarrassed to stand up to them either.
He carries your bag for you on the way to school and back to the dorm, insisting on it even when you say it's okay.
He loves sharing his food with you; he always does.
No matter what it is, he always makes sure you take at least a bite of it.
"I don't taste the food's flavor until I share it with you."
He always keeps your hands intertwined and makes sure you're close to him, especially in crowds.
Every day, he makes sure to kiss you on the cheek and tell you how perfect you are, how lucky he is to have you, and how much he loves you.
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This guy is literally like a character from books.
He has a top-notch degree in princess treatment.
He buys you anything you want, no matter what.
Even if it's a car plated with gold, he'll always fulfill your desires.
He flirts with you, but in poetic ways.
For example, he reads a love quote or a poem and makes sure to dedicate it to you.
Either he writes it for you on a paper and places it on your desk in your room before you wake up, or he whispers it in your ear just to drive you crazy.
He loves seeing you shy and flustered.
He also buys you books, a lot of them.
The reason for that is your talk about a story or a novel.
Be sure that by tomorrow he'll present you with the entire book series along with a red rose.
"Shoto! You didn't have to do that!"
"If my girl desires something, she gets it."
(Help me... I'm melting while writing this)
He lets you do anything to him literally.
Braiding his hair, putting makeup on him, dressing him up as you wish... etc.
Just say the word, and he's like, "Yes, ma'am"
(Once you put your daily makeup on him, and literally you cried because he looked more beautiful than you by miles.)
This man is literally carrying your bags when he takes you shopping.
And he doesn't complain; it gives him a sense that he's your strong man.
He also allows you to try makeup on the back of his hand.
(He's as pale as hell.)
He carries you on his back if you feel tired from walking.
Or in other words, if he feels it, which means he always carries you on his back.
So you won't tire from something as silly as walking.
He knows that everyone is looking at both of you, but does he care? Of course not.
(I feel like he's read "The Art of Indifference" at least 100 times.)
He's the kind of guy who allows you to wear anything you want.
You might come to him not sure about your clothes, and he simply shrugs in indifference.
"Wear whatever you want; I can fight."
(But not too revealing because you won't get away with it.)
One of his greatest features is that he uses his quirk to either warm you up or cool you down according to the weather.
He always gives you his jacket even without you asking because he knows that his scent calms you down and also ensures that you're warm.
Like the others, he makes sure you eat well and goes crazy if he knows you haven't.
(I think this is an Asian thing...)
This might seem gross, but on the contrary, it's not the case for him, but he allows you to spit out the food you didn't like on his hand.
He tells you to do it in the most poetic expression ever.
He hugs you a lot, first because he loves being close to you and secondly to stick his scent to you, so people can smell you and know that you're his
(he has a special scent so..)
(I've written a lot for him, I know, and I'm sorry, but I love him so much that I couldn't stop!!)
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I hope you had fun reading! Please feel free to request more whenever you like!
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝.
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girlbossblackbeard · 1 year ago
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THOUGHTS AND LAYERS
i spent literally an hour analyzing this trailer at 0.5 speed. this post is long af and these thoughts are in no particular order and are poorly organized:
-there's a big storm (which I think was already confirmed), and ed gets swept overboard by a bucket on a rope:
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he then crawls up out of the water onto the beach
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then goes into the forest, creates a hut, has a journey of healing and self-discovery, meets hornigold (or his ghost??)
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and kills him thus killing the part of himself that he hated the most (his violence) as a parallel to stede finally getting rid of nigel's ghost by accepting and believing in himself
-in the stede/ed split screen, the stede shot is from the first ep of s2 right after stede finds the marooned crew at the end of ep 10 in s1 (you can tell bc his hair and clothes are still clean, there's no gay bandana around his neck, and that's his lil dinghy buttons is rowing)
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-they go to shore and wind up at the merchants shop where "susan" overhears they're tracking down blackbeard
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and she invites stede's crew onto her ship, cue the outfit change in the BTS photos:
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-the way stede makes that little swishy turn in the red coat -
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makes me think this may be first time he's been in fine clothes since his "death" and i hope we get a moment of him reflecting on how he gave up everything for ed only to have him hate him :( but then obviously realizing that ed is worth it and he'd do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant getting a chance at spending the rest of his life with him
-izzy and stede team up, and izzy is clearly training either himself or stede on the revenge (?)
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soooooo many questions: what caused him to leave ed and join stede's crew? is he fighting with ed and is training to take him out or is he just done having his love be unrequited so he leaves and just so happens to stumble into stede? is izzy thinking that if he can't cut out the longing he has for ed he has to kill him instead so the pain will go away? what, pray tell, the fuck is going on in here on this day
-wee john in the mermaid costume (and olu in a bunny or donkey costume?):
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a fuckery? or just a weird acid trip? OR IS IT THE TALENT SHOW THEY NEVER GOT TO HAVE??
-ed really does force everyone on his crew to wear war paint
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-all the tally marks scratched into the walls - is that the number of days since stede bonnet broke ed's heart?
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-ed in the forest in PEARL NECKLACE HELLOW????????
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-the tear in ed's eye as he moves the cake toppers closer together which he also painted to make the lady look more like him he literlaly is in love wiht stede so bad wht the FUCJ
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-ed's crew is murdering SO MANY PEOPLE at the wedding wtf (pic not included bc scary)
-delusional moment but i hope anne bonny on stede's lap is looking at calico jack off screen
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-stede and ed are running towards each other on the black sand beach (thank you @sluterastede for pointing this out to me wtf!!!!!!)
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which evolves my theory that ed in the forest goes through his healing journey and realizes he wants to openly love stede again but then the navy attack and stede just so happens to have found ed at the same time and they're fighting to get to each other and taking out everyone in their way (what if that was okracoke lmao)
-the swede and spanish jackie hooking up in the trailer
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makes me think the bts shot of ed and jackie is them looking at stede and the swede, and ed being SO in love with stede obvi but jackie is watching the swede do some weirdly hot shit so she's gotta have him (what if they got married and he became her umpteenth husband in a drunken vegas-like shotgun wedding where she wakes up the next day to realize what has happened lmao)
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-also this pic is DEF from the reunited/make up era bc ed's half-up hair, no makeup, soft eyes, and buttons' clothing. i am weeping
-stede in pain - is it an injury or a tattoo? or torture as @sluterastede posits?? he looks down at his lower body before screaming so maybe he knows what's about to happen to him??
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-ed in the forest wearing the pearl necklace (see above), ed saying "fuck you stede bonnet" wearing the pearl necklace (see below)
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does he pick it up at the wedding??? (theory credit to @sluterastede!!!! can u tell we watched the trailer together 400 times) i can't tell if he's wearing it in the one wide shot of him in that scene:
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but regardless of when he acquires it, does he take it bc he remembers stede said he wears fine things well???? and he starts to believe he may deserve them??
-side note about a LACK of something: ed isn't wearing the cravat at all in the trailer near as i can tell, and he's not wearing the pearl necklace when throwing knives at the wall (at least from what I can see, which is not much) which leads me to believe that scene is in the earlier part of the season
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-lastly, the most important song lyrics from the trailer (the beautiful ones by prince):
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and that's my dissertation on the ofmd season 2 teaser trailer thank you
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princess-dirt · 7 months ago
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Number 1 Miquella defender.
Seriously tho (TL:DR), I'm seeing a lot of people online dismissing his character as pure evil, and it's insane to see. Although most of this is my fault for thinking the average gamer thinks about anything deeper than brainrot memes. DLC spoilers btw.
In a universe where there are like a dozen characters guilty of dozens of war crimes and genocide, calling the queer coded femboy pure evil for letting 2 people die and sacrificing himself to End Racism, War, and Genocide is a wild take.
I don't think I'd mind as much, but Ranni's ending and the Frenzied Flame endings are the two most beloved endings by the community. Like, it's ok for Ranni to kill her brother, but Miquella stealing his half brother's body after we kill him is too far.
It's ok to kill everyone because it means Melina gets to live. But Miquella making himself a god to save his sister from a life of constant horrible pain means he is power-hungry and evil.
And this isn't mentioning the whole "trecherous twink" and "Miquelester" memes that are rooted in homophobia.
But that part has a lot to do with misinformation being spread about Miquella's powers. People believing biased people who already decided to hate Miquella making up his powers or taking every bit of dialog or text to the absolute extremes.
The most obvious example being Mogh and how Miquella charmed him. I've seen delusional people go as far as to say Miquella mind controlled Mogh into starting a genocide and a blood cult. This despite the fact that it's entirely possible that Mogh started this process before Miquella was even born yet. Mogh was ambitious and wanted to be Consort to the next God. By all lore, even with the DLC, Mogh wasn't forced into anything. The line of text about the bloody bed chamber is also taken to the furthest extreme despite sexual violence and sec in general being devoid from all fromsoft games.
Even in Dark Souls, where cross breeding is canon and maidens being experimented on is also canon, actual sexual violence can only be inferred, and even then it's fringe theories. In reality, Miquella dies quite early as Mogh puts him in the cacoon and the "bloody bedchamer" is literal as in Mogh lives inside Miquella's blood. Making Miquella's corpse quite literally a bloody bedchamber.
But even if the incest happens. Yes, Mogh beats the rapist and kidnapper allegations, but nothing says he was forced into this. Miquella's power operates by making others not think negatively about him. While it can be argued that the use of the power is coercion, that is not the debate being had, and everything in the dlc shows us that his power can not force anyone to do anything. He can just convince people more easily.
Mogh is a tragic character like Morgott yes, but he is still a horrible person. The Tarnished (the player) kills him as easily as every other boss in the game. Miquella tricking Mogh and using the Tarnished killing him to steal his body is a bad thing.
I won't argue that Miquella's plan has some victims. Even if Radahn made a vow to be his Consort, Miquella still needed him dead to join him in the Land of Shadows. Radahn suffered even if he accepts Miquella by his own free will at the end.
As Ansbach says, taking Mogh's body is a horrible thing to do. Even if Ansbach is a murder cultist and heavily biased, he is right that it was still wrong to do. Ansbach even finds himself taking neither side and instead asking the Tarnished to make a new order. (It's just ironic that Ansbach describes what Miquella wants for the world)
Miquella sacrificing so much of himself is sad. We hear St Trina who is Miquella and likely Miquella's sense of Love personified, beg us to kill Miquella. Not because Miquella is evil, not because St Trina felt betrayed, but because Miquella can't love himself anymore and can accept the prison that is godhood.
And we see Miquella abandon his doubts right before he abandons his love and Trina, hiding them away from danger. We know even after sacrificing every bit of himself, he was still scared facing the Gates of Divinity. He leaves behind even his fear.
He does this all to fix the countless sins of his Mother and extended family and heal himself and his sister's curses.
It's not a coincidence Miquella's first action as a God is removing his own curse and taking the form as an adult. Showing despite everything, his goals remain the same. But of course, as the current or soon to be Elden lord ourselves, we stop him before he ever gets a chance to try fixing the world.
Some Tarnished even go out of their way to the Haligtree, slaughtering refugees from war, and killing Malenia, his sister, in cold blood. And I think this level of moral complexity and lack of clear right and wrong in the world of Elden Ring is tripping up so many people.
They see Mogh be a victim as a child and be tricked by Miquella and cannot fathom how he could still be evil. The genocide he is committing and his blood cult of murderous knights and "medics" are ignored.
Ranni can be forgiven because she is hot. Maliketh is never held at fault for what Marika does or did despite him only ever defending her and helping her. He is just super cool. We are the Tarnished so even when we chose the evil endings, there is still justification for it.
But the femboy who is very strongly queer coded can't be forgiven or understood. And another part of it is Griffith. Griffith is another morally complex feminine prince type character. Miyazaki is famously a massive berserk fanboy so characters like Prince Gwyndolin and Prince Lothric were often compared. But Miquella got the comparison the worst. Berserk spoilers btw.
And Griffith is objectionably a horrible person even before the Eclipse and when he stops being Griffith and becomes Femto. His moral complexity and the many nuances of his character often get forgotten because of the Eclipse, because of his horrible actions. Griffith being SA'd, self harming, having an unhealthy often one sided toxic love, and having so much self doubt that he nearly breaks down several times is forgotten about. They label him as pure evil and any deeper discussions about him as a character are lost.
And Miquella, as soon as he got the Griffith comparison because of his looks was destined for a similar fate when it is revealed he is an antagonist in the DLC. Griffith is pure evil, Miquella has a ton of similarities and thematic parallels to Griffith, so obviously, Miquella is pure evil. The classic no media literacy response.
I am yelling into he void I know, but I love writing and I love Miquella as a character so much. I think deep analysis and reflection is valuable even if it's just me talking to myself.
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verysium · 1 year ago
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PLEASE DO BLUE LOCK ICKS IM BEGGING🙏😭🌹
😏 coming right up anon. gonna channel my inner critic and not hold back on any of these.
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RIN
brother complex. not much else to say except that he needs to get a life. not everything is about metaphorically crushing your older brother's dreams and brooding in the dark hate of retribution.
competitive but only because he is a desperate whore for external validation. ignores everyone but craves the attention of a sole person named sae itoshi. was defeated by isagi once and has never let go of it since. has a one-track mind that is impossible to derail. stubborn when he wants to be.
probably a virgin and will continue to be one until his late 30s.
has not known a single day of peace ever since sae ditched him for the popular girlies. as a result, he has developed a very concerning case of social awkwardness. his idea of a conversation involves a brick wall and thirty minutes of you staring at his resting bitch face. constantly looks like that one grumpy cat meme. judges you for your poor decisions but then gets aggressively defensive when you point out his own mistakes.
reeks of so much teen angst that even metallica can't save him. the problem is that he has nothing to back up his emo persona. his insults lack creativity and, unfortunately for him, phrases like "lukewarm" and "half-baked" and "hell" do not make his words carry more weight. uses the f-word but in the most embarrassing context that it makes you facepalm and internally cringe.
SAE
zero social awareness. this boy's head is empty. the lights are not on up there. there are no picture frames or furniture. the curtains are drawn, and there is not a sliver of clouds or sunshine. cannot read body language and does not know what a filter is.
the source of all of rin's stress. he is the original trauma projector, creator of generational cycles. not even subtle about it. "turns out i was wrong. i thought japan was incapable of ever giving birth to decent forwards." sir....with the way you worded that, you knew exactly what you were doing when you gave rin false hope.
swears but it's even worse than his brother. literally called his elders a "fatso and bob cut duo" and "insect turd." i mean....there is a line between what is considered a legitimate burn and what is a first grader making up insults in his coloring book.
has a horrible haircut and no fashion taste. i already talked about this previously, but it was so bad it deserved a second mention.
a freak but tries to justify it rationally. like what do you mean you can tell a person's athletic ability from their buttock size? just admit you have a kinky fetish already.
somewhat of a coward but i'm gonna give him some leniency due to his tragic child genius backstory. tbh he's just an eighteen-year-old boy who needs a goddamn break.
KAISER
alexa please play clown music. this man sets himself for failure and then wallows in self-pity when he actually fails. like what did you expect? you knew what was going to happen the moment you challenged isagi like that. it was most definitely your fault you got violently humbled.
has a borderline god complex (currently calls himself an emperor but has not evolved into a deity yet.) unfortunately, he does not stand on business. cue the dramatic meltdowns when he realizes there is an actual gap between his ability and his reputation. if you're going to lie, at least make it believable.
insecure and mentally unstable. he probably cuts and re-dyes his hair every single time shit happens. no wonder his locks get shorter every time.
lazy when it comes to anything that is not football and expects others to do it for him. demands princess treatment wherever he goes. unfortunately, not all of us have servants with no self-respect like ness.
"it is not enough that i should succeed, others should fail" type of person.
does not wear shoes and even if he does, it's sandals. put them grippers away.
NAGI
a literal sloth who has so much potential but uses none of it. has no intrinsic motivation of his own, so if he's going to do anything, it has to be you behind the wheel, making sure he gets put to work.
does not have a close relationship with his parents, and so he has no sense of community, holidays, or traditions. no fun at all if you want him to do things like christmas shopping or birthday celebrations.
rots in bed all day and then has to nerve to ask you to carry him around. your back better be strong because his 190 cm body is not going to be light.
not loyal (need i say more.)
REO
second male lead syndrome. also known as that one popular guy who's always picked last.
acts like a victim but then when you realistically tell him to how to change his situation he refuses to do so. you cannot ask for advice and then take none of it to heart. no wonder you're still not over your ex.
"i can fix him" mentality. no, you can't. you are a seventeen-year-old child, not a licensed therapist and nagi isn't even all that.
NESS
touch-starved to the point he will stay in a toxic and abusive relationship in order to gain some scrap of affection. just because you were the black sheep of your family does not mean you can lose all sense of personal dignity.
probably stalks all the people he hates. has a burn book like regina george from mean girls. cuts out and glues little pictures of kaiser all over his bedroom. doodles hearts all over it with glittery gel pen. isagi's face and name are scratched out of every team photo.
delusional and prone to mood swings. medicated but at this point, he is beyond saving.
ISAGI
a home wrecker. has ruined more relationships than he can count on ten fingers yet still manages to smile like he's some angelic saint.
solves jigsaw puzzles for a living (not very cool if you ask me.)
has some unresolved anger management issues. probably repressed all his negative feelings when he was younger, so it all comes out when he's on the field. unfortunately, his twilight-sparkle-friendship-is-magic agenda is not going to work if he keeps cussing out his teammates like that. but then again, he is the main character, so i guess his plot armor makes up for his pitfalls.
says that he's a good guy but then holds personal vendettas against rivals he doesn't like. boy was so ready to throw hands when #kaisagi was trending on the internet. but when you actually think about, he's similar to kaiser in more ways than he'd like to admit.
BAROU
has the worst case of high and mighty "holier-than-thou" attitude. isagi put his ego in check, but it still peeks out from time to time.
he was the ugliest baby when he was born. i am not going to hold back on the child barou slander because it is true. no, he was not a cute and lovable bundle of joy. he looked like a demonic gremlin.
he needs to take more risks in life and try cross-dressing. simply imagining him in a maid uniform will not suffice. it needs to be made into a reality.
with how nit-picky he is, i doubt people can realistically stay within a 1-meter radius around him. unless you are a clean freak yourself, his constant complaints will start to get annoying after a time. even if he does have good intentions, he needs to let people have a little breathing room sometimes. a messy room is not going to kill you.
BACHIRA
this boy's brain is smooth. no folds. no gray matter. no intelligence either. his pencil and eraser have been left untouched since day one. if he wasn't crazily good at football, he would be unemployed and homeless in the future. not even a mcdonald's wants him.
one of those people who will do the literal opposite of whatever you say. you want him to stop talking? well, now he's never going to shut up. you tell him not to step on a pile of dog shit? well, now he's going to walk right into it. you want him to quit running around and act normal? well, now it's his life's mission to make you as annoyed as possible. please pray for your hair follicles because at the end of the day, you're not going to have many left with how much he makes you want to tear your hair out.
has the cerebral capacity of a toddler. if he thinks monsters are real, he's going to think anything is real. super gullible when it comes to any form of scam, ploy, or trickery. the only way he would not be fooled is if he's also played the same prank before.
SHIDOU
a brazen pervert. says the most out-of-pocket things and refuses to apologize for them. sometimes it comes out a little too sleazy for your liking.
"to me a goal is fertilization! a shot is the seed and the goal is the egg!! and the birth of that joy i call an explosion!! my genes are gonna knock you up!" let us give ourselves a moment of silence to digest this quote. only shidou ryusei would come up with a sperm and egg metaphor to describe football. (i guess protection means nothing to him.)
has no empathy. if you dislike him or cannot keep up with him, you're a literal nobody in his books. no sportsmanship. no compassion. no self-awareness.
you cannot say "balls" to him in a serious tone without him misinterpreting it as something dirty. that alone should tell you enough. stay the hell away from him.
where do men get the audacity? right here. from this little bastard. he invented the term "shameless slut." boy was getting off during the u-20 arc and on live TV too. no wonder sae said he was disgusting.
and finally, he comes from a long line of cockroaches. he's even got the antennae to prove it.
i think this might have been a little excessive, but i have no regrets about it. you're welcome anon ♡
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amethxxt · 8 months ago
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i'm ranting about descendants again and this is a long one
Alright, I talked a little bit about this on twitter literally yesterday (https://x.com/amethxxt/status/1798768561613361458) but I wanted to do it here too, so here we are!!
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I think everyone has seen these pictures by now. It's from Descendants new book "The World of Auradon: Royals & Villains".
Now, at first, I got really excited (in a way, I still am) because it'll probably give me more material to use in my fics. Also, Uma looks absolutely stunning, so I immediately began reading her page and... Well, it's not the nicest things, right?
Like I said on twitter, I can't be the only one who sees the majorly different ways they talk about Uma and Mal.
With Mal, they start saying she's a "confident natural leader", and like- no, she's not, far from it.
I think the best version we got from Mal was on D1. She was such a good character and that's when I think the writers succeded the most with her - I believe it was hard to find someone who actively disliked or simply hated her.
When D2 came out, things went slightly downhill. Mal's inner conflict of not being the picture perfect Lady of the Court and feeling that the odd one out because she wasn't doing well in Auradon when compared to her friends is very realistic.
The pressure that she was feeling to be perfect and all the new things that came with being the King's girlfriend makes you understand why she was so anxious and wanted to leave. Now, I think we should all understand that this makes Mal a very insecure person.
She's insecure, she's flawed and runs away the first chance she gets because everything becomes too much. And if they wrote her like that, how is she a confident natural leader?
When the Core Four and Ben go after her, it's when things begin to change. Mal has a few moments in this movie: running away and leaving just a note to her best friend, claiming Dizzy was going to be fine when Evie felt sorry about leaving a child in the abusive place they all grew up in, betraying Uma's trust. Yeah.
I'm gonna make it very clear that I really like Mal as a character. I criticize her a lot because the writers started putting her in a pedestal, overpowering her and trying to erase anything that could be seen as bad.
Why would they have Mal apologize for using a love spell on Ben when they make such a cute couple and would be endgame anyways?
It gets worse in D3. I remember watching them announce that Hades was Mal's father and being like "No fucking way" because you want this girl to be not only half-fairy but a half-god?? Was this the only way to have his ember in the story?
Well, I think we got used to that plot after a while, but then - Oh, Mal's also Lady of the Court, she'll be a part of the decisions that concern the Isle of the Lost and a voice for the other VKs.
Yes, Mal is "a confident natural leader" who turns her back on her people and comes up to the idea of closing the Barrier for good to protect Auradon citizens.
Why do they refuse to bring up the fact that it was her idea?? Nevermind the fact that her and Ben weren't married yet, she was not the Queen and had absolutely no power to make that decision. They make Ben so useless, a King with no voice because he's not the main character, right?
So she makes a decision that's not up to her and proceeds to lie to all of her friends, makes empty promisses to both Celia and Uma, and when shit hits the fan, nothing happens.
Having Evie confront her about it is one of my favorite scenes, but what are the consequences? I understand that it was the final movie, but it's so rushed that makes everyone else feel out of character.
Mal and Evie can be the best of friends, but you can't tell me Mal would be like "I was wrong, I have to be a voice for everyone and I shouldn't have lied" and Evie would be just "Ok, perf".
And what about the opposite? When Mal betrays Uma for probably the third time, Uma has no trouble forgiving her? Of course they don't mention what happens in the books, they don't mention Mal trying to hurt Evie (or even get her killed lol) and they don't mention the "shrimpy" incident with Uma.
They don't talk about Mal's wrong doings the same way they talk about Uma.
Uma, according to the new book, is a "confident and resourceful VK with a major mean streak". Sorry, Uma has a mean streak? I don't think so. What Disney and Descendants keep doing is use the definition of a villain for a character who's an antagonist.
Villains have malicious intentions, they are evil. You're gonna tell me the girl who simply wants for all the children to get off the Isle, a place they were forced to live in along with murderers and other criminals, some of those who happened to be their parents, all while surviving off of the garbage that came from Auradon, is the evil one?
That is not to say Uma doesn't make mistakes or does bad things. Mal and Uma have the common point of using a love spell on Ben, which is awful and should be acknowledged as that, but they only do it in Uma's case.
"When Mal and her friends successfully freed Ben, Uma took it one step further by putting Ben under a magic love spell" x "She [Mal] used spells to mess with other students, to convince Ben that he loved her, and to change herself in order to fit in as Ben's girlfriend. But once she realized she needed to ditch the spell book and learn to survive without magic, she was able to become the queen she was always meant to be"
Those... are not the same to me. They detail every thing Uma does during D2, making it clear that using a love spell was worse than the previous actions of kidnapping him, but with Mal it almost feels like they excuse her actions because, eventually, she learned that magic wasn't the way to become who she was meant to be.
Also, what do you mean Mal felt guilty about the other VKs who were left behind? Mal didn't even look sad when her and Evie were leaving Dizzy behind! Evie was the one to come up with the idea to bring more children to Auradon, and when that magically turned into the VK Day (my arch-nemesis plotline along with Merlin Academy), she didn't look worried at all that it would them so long to free all the kids if they were going to pick 4 each time.
And again, her idea to close the Barrier for good (with no way in or out) would mean that eventually, everyone left in the Isle would die. I know it's Disney, and they would never make that happen, but if you're not going in to even leave your trash there (aka their food source), yeah, they're all dying.
Now, with Uma, they point out how she wanted to escape and get revenge on Mal, but like...... not really? Of course she mentions in D2 how she wants Mal's new turf and tries to make a deal with her to leave with her crew, but when she's actually free and we get into D3, it's been months (I think) and while Auradon's scared she's going to do something, we find out Uma spent all that time looking for a hole in the Barrier to get the kids out.
When she makes another deal to help Mal, all she asks for is the guarantee that every kid who wants to leave the Isle is able to do so. Who breaks that promise? The "villain" with the major mean streak or the confident natural leader?
I'm not saying that Mal is real villain, because she's really not. But she's far from how they describe her and if you're gonna tell me she's a natural leader, I better not see her bringing down the Barrier, letting both the kids and villains out, and acting like it's the right thing to do.
VK Day wasn't the answer to free the innocents, but bringing down the Barrier isn't it either! Mal doesn't "help convice Auradon citizens to accept all VKs into Auradon Prep" she just decides to do that lol
And again, that decision is not up to her, she had no legal right to do it. She was just Lady of the Court and nothing else.
Like I said on twitter, Disney and Descendants like Uma because she's a fan favorite, she was one since they announced her as a character. But they insist on the idea that Auradon changed her for the better, as if she was never someone who fought for what was right. She's not perfect either, but they can't write about her in a way that makes her look better than Mal.
How did Mal stop her at the end of D2? Mal didn't do anything, they were fighting, Ben made a speech, Uma turned around and left. That was it.
How did Auradon transform her? Of course they are implying that because of Rise of Red and her becoming the new principal, and even though this plot still kinda confuses me, it still seems like all the wants is for Auradon to be a fair place that doesn't discriminate against anyone.
I now this is getting too long, but I really like ranting about descendants. It's my comfort franchise but there's so many things wrong with it lol
And I also know I'm probably looking too deep into it, but I don't think I'm the only one who sees the ways Disney has always treated Uma and Mal differently.
I want to get this book and see if there's anything else about them. I really wished Disney and Descendants treated Uma better, though.
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deadbydad · 1 month ago
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Captain Curly (Mouthwashing) - When You Can't Fix Everything and Why He's a Victim of Jimmy
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There are many discussions surrounding Captain Curly all around the internet on whether he is a good person or not.
Some say he isn't while some say he is, but the question simply has an easy answer.
Curly is a morally grey character.
Captain Curly, when we first play as him and see through his perspective, we come to learn a lot about him with the short amount of sections where we do play as him.
We know that he is very optimistic, he cares deeply for his crew and always tries to look on the bright side of things. He just wants everything to be fine, and will always try to fix it if it isn't because, well because he's the captain.
But him being so optimistic is what was his downfall, and I think that's what makes him such a well written and realistic, morally grey character.
Curly isn't innocent, but he is a victim of Jimmy just like everyone else on the ship is.
Let me explain.
Curly was the first person Anya told about when Jimmy assaulted her and how she was pregnant, and Curly told her he would talk to Jimmy.
He would fix it.
I hate when people say that he didn't care about Anya or didn't believe her. Curly never said he didn't believe her, and he never said he was defending Jimmy either.
This is one of the examples of his optimistic views doesn't work out for him.
We know that Curly invited Jimmy to work with him in Pony Express and we immediately assume that because they're friends, then Curly is defending Jimmy.
But if you replay and really pay attention to Curly and Jimmy's conversations, you come to realize that Jimmy is borderline controlling and abusive with the way he talks to Curly.
He isn't and doesn't see Curly as a friend, but Curly being too nice and tends to look past that type of stuff, that made it easy for Jimmy to manipulate Curly.
After Anya told him, Curly did talk to Jimmy about it, but he went about it in a calm way. I think what he did is pretty realistic for the situation they're in, but I'll talk more about that later.
Curly talking to Jimmy is what led Jimmy to crash the ship and get Curly injured and fuck everything else up. Not to mention that Jimmy wanting to get rid of Curly so he could be captain also played a huge part in it.
Jimmy never saw Curly as a friend, he only saw him as someone he could use to get what he wanted.
Curly trying to fix what happened by talking to Jimmy was his wake up call, his karma in a way.
Because of the crash, Curly understands Anya in a way when Jimmy starts to hurt and force him to take the pain meds. Curly being brutally hurt and injured can only lay and not do anything to stop it.
He finally understood what Anya had felt in a way, and he probably hates himself because he didn't do something to protect her.
And her killing herself in front of him and watching the rest of his crew die to the hands or consequences of Jimmy, even Jimmy himself, was what made Curly realize that he simply can't fix everything.
Curly is absolutely a victim of Jimmy like everyone else on the ship is.
He was manipulated, abused, and not to mention Jimmy literally ate some of his body. All of this was because Curly was too optimistic.
Curly is one of the most realistic characters, and I think people saying that he's as bad as Jimmy just aren't thinking about the fact that he was a victim of Jimmy himself.
Yes, he could have done more to protect Anya, most likely by switching her over to a room that has locks.
But I believe that he couldn't do anything besides that, especially when it comes to Jimmy.
He knows how crazy and angry Jimmy gets. He was probably thinking that he couldn't just go up to him and start a fight because, let's be real, Jimmy was going to kick Curlys ass and he was probably going to crash the ship no matter what.
Curly, in my opinion, while yes, he didn't do anything to protect Anya, he wasn't protecting or defending Jimmy.
Curly was trying to look at how he could fix it, but I think no matter what he did it wouldn't have mattered.
I see people saying that Curly could have shot Jimmy with the gun or locked him up in another room or contacted the higher-ups of Pony Express. I don't think any of this would have realistically worked.
One, he can't kill Jimmy because he is the co-pilot, and they needed a co-pilot for the ship, and locking him in a room wouldn't have worked either.
Curly couldn't have called the higher ups either because Pony Express wouldn't have done anything because they simply just don't care about their workers.
No matter what Curly did or what he could have done, none of it realistically would have worked or done anything to solve the problem.
I'm not defending Curly at all, I'm a victim of assault myself, so I understand Anyas feelings, I'm simply saying that we should look at the other possibilities and should start thinking about what Curly was actually thinking before saying he was as terrible as Jimmy.
Curly isn't innocent, but he was a victim of Jimmy.
His optimistic views on life and on people are what caused his downfall.
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