#I imagine this is only going to be more surreal as years to on XD

[elektroyu]

It's happened

I'm

I'm officially 40 now 😂

lol can you believe that?

I can't haha 😂

[sailorsally]

Sally's Purcon Chronicles

(heads up, this is a long post)

I am on the last leg of my journey back home so I think it's the right time to write up what my experience at purcon 7 was like, as something I can look back on (because it's inevitable that time will fade some details) and maybe as a little guide to many first time congoers next year.

Purcon 7 was the first con for me too.

I met Misha on Friday evening for 'Cocktails with Castiel'. I was at a table with 9 other people and we got to talk to him about 10 minutes. He arrived late of course. Seeing him step into the room was the most surreal feeling, not going to lie. I think up until then my brain hadn't really comprehended properly that the actor man is real. He sat down at the table across the room and for a while my eyes were glued to him in a desperate attemt to make it familiar to my brain as quickly as possible that he existed in this space and was very much real. There were mostly female fans there so even though he was still a couple of tables away from us you could distinctly hear his deep voice amongs all the talk at times and I did cherish that.

I inquired further and it did very much sound like he was talking about my favourite Georgian dish, too. Which tbh almost made me cry on the spot but I pulled thru it to tell him that hearing this made me very happy because I've been watching Roadfood a lot and imagining what it would be like to see Georgian food featured there, even though I know that is highly unlikely since it's not that big of a deal in the US. This made him very sad and he got all 🥺 and apologized that there aren't many Georgian restaurants in US and looked like he was on the verge of crying so I assured him once again that it was fine and he couldn't do anything about it. (Though he had this 'you can see gears turning in his head' expression for a bit so I wouldn't totally exclude seeing Georgian cuisine on Roadfood in the future idk 😂).

When he finally got to our table, he said hi and sat down and our hellos were kinda delayed and everyone stopped talking for a bit (understandable xD) so he took it upon himself to get the conversation flowing and started asking where everyone was from. There were three people from France and they told him about their travel to Germany and how they hadn't had the time to sleep yet. I asked him how long his journey took and he said about 18 hours so I said "okay you win then. Mine was just 12". So he asked where I was from and I said Georgia and right away he asked me "Tbilisi?" [the name of the capital] and not gonna lie, I have huge respect for Misha and I know he is a clever fella but I never expected for him to know the name of the capital by heart and also pronounce it so damn correctly (honestly to this day I have never met a foreigner who doesn't butcher 'Tbilisi'). I was very impressed by this and a bit shocked tbh but I managed to get out 'yeah. Born and raised' so he of course asked what the situation was like in Georgia atm. I said that not that good, like in most places in the world rn. He wanted to know more so I said politically it's been complicated because of the influx of Russians and how the population of my city has grown twice because of that. Then I joked that he should come visit us to restore the balance, tbh I was desperate to keep the conversation flowing, and boy it was worth because the next thing he said was thee most insane thing that I could never have imagined in a thousand years: he told me he has been to Georgia, years ago! ���� And how the family he was staying with in Georgia cooked him one of the best meals he has had! in his ENTIRE LIFE!

This was the biggest chunck of out conversation. I know this is not something that will excite the general public here but it was damn special to me personally and I shall forever cherish this lil conversation with him 💗

I did also manage to revel to him that I had only ever seen Supernatural from S4 to the finale, so all his episodes exclusively and he said that was the only right way to watch it 😂

On Saturday I had a photo op with him. It was all very fast paced, so no proper exchange of words but I did get to watch him for a bit because he took a lil break before the person in front of me got their turn. It was very hot in the room so he drank some water, sanitized his hands and took a peppermint. When it was my turn he looked at me and highly likely recognized me from the day before so he winked at me and opened his arms and I just went straight into them and hugged him and he hughed me so so tight!!! 🥺 I was trying to remain respectful but the man wouldn't let me breathe 🤣

On Sunday, I got to ask him a question about the extra poem in Russian edition of his poetry book & we got to argue about the color of my pants 🤣

(thank you so much for this iconic pic, Bex ❤️)

Later I got my art signed. They were rushing the autos because Misha had a flight to catch so he was pretty stressed at autos. I jokely apologized for bringing it to his attention that something had gone 'wrong' with his book in Russian and he said no he was glad that I did bring that up and how he'd have to talk to his publisher about that actually. Asked him if I could give him a gift - a belt buckle. He said sure, so I did and in the rare moment of bravery I said I hoped he'd wear it and then winked at him 🤦‍♀️

I think this pretty much sums up my direct interractions with the actor man over the weekend.

I know M&G and alike are expensive as hell but if you can affort it I would say definitely get them. It's the only time you'll get with him up close and personal. As far as entrance tickets go, I had a weekend ticket for section 3 and for someone with bad eyesight it wasn't the best option, I wish I had been closer to the stage. All in all, if I had to categorize the extras as best to worst it would go like this:

- Cocktails with Castiel

- Photo Op

- Autograph (I believe autos usually give more time to talk to him and it was rushed just this one time because Misha needed to catch a plane)

Also: Yes, this is an 'actor centric' con but you will get to make new friend and finally see your online friends too which tbh makes this whole experience what it is! Shoutout to the wonderful @bexfangirlforlife @blanketforcas @deancrowleycas , I loved spending time with you so much! You made my first con experience very special 💕

[shychick-52]

Weird writers asks- 1, 7, 10, 13 and 19!!!

OOOH, THANKS. :D

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Times New Roman, size 12. So, standard. I'm used to it, having written in that all my life, plus it's by far the easiest on my eyes. I know there's a trick with some other font that's supposed to increase writing speed or the amount you write, or something, but I always forget to try it!!! DX

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Breathing life into the characters and scenarios in my head. It's such a fun, almost surreal feeling. Writers are demi-gods, at the very least. We create life. :D It's like that one lyric in the 'Barbie Girl' song- "Imagination, life is your creation!"

I also love sharing my ideas about my favorite characters, including my headcanons, with others. Even though not many people read my stuff, I still love putting them out there. XD

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

I've been haunted by so many wonderful writers' stories, including yours! In other words, a really incredibly-written, powerful story (often heavy on the drama, angst, and hurt/comfort) that stays with me for a long, long time that I can't stop thinking out. One that destroys me in the best way.

As for my own writing, it doesn't necessarily have to be angsty or dramatic, although those are my favorite kind to write about. It's often an idea that I can't stop thinking about, that I HAVE to write or I'll go crazy. Like 'Who Am I?' and 'Circumstances and Control'. And I can't stop thinking about where to take the story next, what to do with the characters (usually it's the multi-chapter stories that haunt me the most), and I lie awake at night planning out details, scenes, and dialogue. And even once each new chapter is posted, or the story is finished, I often re-read them to see if they're as good as I originally envisioned or if I still feel the same pride about them I felt in the first place (and I'm pleased to say they usually do hold up).

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Anything sexual (especially pure smut). I'm ace/sex-repulsed as hell. I don't have much experience writing or reading about sexual content, let alone... ah, personal experience (because I'm not comfortable with any of it), so I also wouldn't even feel confident trying to write it. (However, I did write a one-shot fenro story called 'A Definitely Real Man', which was SCARY AS HECK because I've never done anything like that before. But to my surprise, it turned out really well.)

Subject matter easy for me to write is anything angsty. Especially where loved ones' lives are at stake or are dead (with lots of grieving, suffering, and even self-blame). I also love writing about abusive (or dead) parents.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I wrote my first fanfic in high-school for the anime series 'Cardcaptor Sakura', which was a really short one-shot. (A friend of mine had introduced me to fanfiction, and after reading a bunch of it, I decided to give it a try too.) As the years went one, I wrote more and more fanfiction for different interests of mine and soon it turned into a life-long hobby to this day.

As far as original writing goes, during my university days I wrote the first two books in a planned-out children's book series I've always wanted to write and publish. Unfortunately, it went through a lot of hiatus and writer's block because I couldn't get the story and characters to work properly. So, I abandoned it until years later when I picked it up again with a whole new idea to make it work; I ended up scrapping most of the original storyline and characters, leaving only the bare bones intact. Since then, it's worked out much better! I'm currently writing the third book in the series and editing the first two, but I don't really know how many books I want the series to be. Maybe two or three more? (I'll probably never get it published, but who knows? At the very least, it's another fun hobby.)

[dzpenumbra]

1/5/23

Today was very rough. Very little sleep, Max kept me up by actually howling around the house for food around noon. Poor thing. I was so tired but... I had to get up, I had to get her food. She was really not happy.

I sorted the tumbled rocks, cleaned the tumbler barrels (I hope, if there's still large grit in the tubs it can really fuck everything up...), individually cleaned the grit off the larger stones with a fucking paintbrush... I swear, not being able to just clean stones on my porch like I used to? Where I would just dump the slurry water off the side of the porch. It's so much goddamn harder to juggle these grit changes when I have to like... dispose of the slurry by pouring it into a milk carton, then clean the stones in a mini strainer and a bucket. Then I have to wait for the fluid in those containers to settle fully, a few days at least, and then drain as much water as I can out so that I just have the slurry paste left over, let that dry completely, then put that in the trash. All that, versus dumping it off the porch. It's a whole thing. And I'm going to have to do it... 3 more times. -_- The tumble is on hold for now, I need more ceramic medium to add in to fill the barrels more, so I'm waiting on that Amazon order.

Yoga was fucking rough. There was this one that was like... a half split or something? I don't even fucking know, the combo of like 3 or 4 different poses she was doing was just like... my hamstrings were just not fucking budging, and my quads were working overtime compensating for that. It was brutal. It was humbling. The first time in a while that I've had to take a beat and rest my muscles doing yoga. It was a legit workout that started actually hurting. My quads are still sore from that. It was intense, but good. Still got my head cleared and got the gears clicking.

I watched this thing on David Lynch that popped up in my YouTube feed. It was kinda haunting, like the way he described his creative process was like... like he jumped into my head and found the words that I've been searching for for ages. But like, of course he did, because that's like... his job. XD And he's really damn good at it. It was inspiring in a lot of ways.

As I went through my day, I kept getting these... mini-inspiration strikes. Like... short animations, or graphic novels. It was kinda vague, as it tends to be before I start working on it. Then it kinda starts taking on a mind of its own and making itself. But like... this was a bit of a calling for me to tell the really difficult stories that I have. The true ones. The ones that people could probably imagine were fiction because of how powerful and surreal, how movie-like they were. Like... I got a few of them very vividly. My first mushroom trip. The New Year's when I went with a friend I've had since I was like... 14, who I went with as a like "if we don't have anyone to kiss at midnight, you know..." kinda thing. And I was shitfaced with no one to kiss. And she found some bald dude who was much older than her. And then I got piss drunk(er) and was chainsmoking on the porch most of the rest of the night, hitting it off with some chick who was visiting from New Jersey, where I was born. And then like 3AM rolls along, and everyone's asleep, and the owner of the house (who I've also known since I was like 14) comes out and gets the chick and has her sleep in his bedroom. And I'm alone on the porch. It's snowing, I'm in the middle of nowhere, like... top of a mountain on the porch of an A-frame cabin, piss drunk at 3AM middle of nowhere. I go back inside and the lights are off. All of the couches in the living room have people sleeping on them, even the recliner. I, flustered, go to the basement. I just want to pass out at this point. I notice someone sleeping on the couch in the basement, but the two-seat loveseat near it was open, the only open piece of furniture in the house, so I curl up on it and take my dress trenchcoat off and use it as a blanket and try to sleep. Yeah, this was like a dress-up party thing. It's freezing in the basement, I'm shivering, I can't get comfortable at all, I'm trying so hard to be quiet and just got to sleep to just like... fast forward a few hours and sober up enough to drive. And at one point I look over at the couch, and under the blanket is my former friend curled up with that dude, both staring back at me. It was dark, but I swear at least she made direct eye contact. And I'm not entirely convinced they were wearing clothing under that blanket. And I audibly grumbled "fucking come on." And I threw on my coat and went upstairs, went out to my car, decided it was too cold to sleep in there safely, grabbed the mega-sized Monster from my center console, sat on the linoleum floor of the kitchen and played crosswords on my phone and chugged Monster until the house woke up. You know, stories like that.

But I wanted to make these stories... more engaging in... I guess a more expressive way? I'm struggling to find the words to express what the desired effect would be, but I was hoping to achieve it by making the characters more... cartoony, like spirit animals or something. Like actually drawing myself as a chipmunk or something, something that represented the spirit that I had at the time. But I couldn't settle on any of my spirit animals. Later in the day, I saw myself out of the corner of my eye in the preview cam in my Betterhelp session and clearly got an image in my head of a primitive human. Like that game I've been playing, Ancestors. My bone structure, my features, but with a much more primitive... base model? I'm struggling to find the word. A more primitive species version of myself. But I still need props like cars and phones and shit. So, that was where that inspiration spark left off today. Maybe doing a storyboard of one of these stories depicting all of the people as primitive ape-men. Because we all seem to fucking forget what we really are. We are simians. We are hairless (kinda) apes. No matter how many fancy toys and gadgets and shit we create, at the end of the day, that's just what we are. And that's not a bad thing, connecting with that part of ourselves is the key to being in touch with nature itself, just be responsible with it and don't go fucking feral, please. So yeah, something is pulling me towards that idea very strongly, and it doesn't take too much work to sketch up a storyboard... no matter what it turns into, a storyboard would be useful.

I left myself a note so hopefully I follow up on that tomorrow. My memory has been shit lately. Insane stress, little sleep, no shit my brain's slipping a bit.

I was putting off mentioning this. Massive fight (not the right word again, not a fight if you're not fighting back) with my mom. Half an hour before my therapy appointment. Like... I hung up on her, then switched right over to the therapy appointment the same minute. I was physically shaking, really panicking. Social worker helped me calm down, he used to be a crisis worker so this was probably tame for him. Dug pretty deep into shit, which was good. In the end, it's probably good the timing that played out today. He got to see clear as day exactly what the biggest setback in my life looks like the second it happens. We traced how it connects to my current fears of meeting new people. How I feel like I'm just going to see all the good things in people and overlook the shitty ways they treat me, like not even see or notice it, because that has historically happened because it's been very rare that I haven't been treated like utter garbage. Like I had a former "friend" who took 2 lbs of shredded cheese I had bought earlier that day out of my fridge and just went home and made food with it. Didn't even ask. And I was just like... "oh, he probably needs it more than me, he probably meant to bring it back or something". Like... come on, man. And I've often gotten so desperate for human contact that I just... overlook these things, forgive them entirely, go "oh they probably didn't mean to". And I'm really afraid I'm going to do it again. And right now, my track record with that is utterly spotless, literally every person in my life over the past... 10 years? has done that. So in my head, the odds are like "oh yeah, that's a guarantee." But that's not how probability works, that's what I need to remind myself.

But I woke up a bit to how bad my depression feeds into that anxiety. My lack of confidence and self-esteem, right? So it's less thinking I'm going to fuck up, as much as I am afraid my self-worth will be so fucking rock bottom that I will just allow people to treat me like human garbage, just for the opportunity to spend time with someone. So my strategy is shifting a bit. I've been gung-ho about addressing anxiety and trauma, and I've done a TON of really important work around that, but what I need to focus on right now is motherfucking depression. The analogy I brought up is like... my anxiety is like a spark, but my depression is like a fucking gas main that's feeding the flame. So I could get the anxiety perfectly honed right now, and it wouldn't even really solve the problem, because one tiny anxiety misfire and the whole room goes up. Right? So I need to go after depression, big time. Big time. How? Fuck if I know, I got cinnamon rolls, that's supposed to help, right? XD

I'm deeply grateful for the insight from today. Both the artistic inspiration and the therapeutic inspiration. The yoga thing from today was "shift". Shifting perspectives. And being open to that concept... see, I thought I needed a shift in how I was interacting socially, and then I got insight on two other shifts. How I artistically express myself, and how I address my self-care and soul-work. Guess they're more important right now!

After the appointment, I ordered delivery. Fuck it. And then... called my mom back. Because sometimes I just can't resist trying to touch the flame, I guess. I just wanted it to end. It was brutal. 2 hours of brutal. Then 1 hour of real-talk from me on how the brain works, and different suggestions on how she could manage her... suspicion of me better. Then 1 hour of trying to figure out what goddamn TV to buy. It drained the life out of me.

After that, it was 12:30AM. I put on my headphones and collapsed in my new 6 foot beanbag chair with my cat and watched stupid video game youtube videos with these really funny guys who own a skate company. And now I'm writing this at 4:20AM, and I haven't smoked in like... almost a month. Like, I didn't even try to quit! I just stopped smoking because I didn't want to risk freaking out. Reward wasn't worth the risk. So lame. What I would give for a vice right now, I swear! Like... something that gets me to that physical comfy place that weed does, but without the existential dread... like smoking a few hits and taking half a Xanax, good lord that would be *chefs motherfucking kiss* right now. I wish I had a hippie psychiatrist who could help me out with shit like that!

Bed. Now. So tired. Bye world, much love, be good to each other please. <3

[redstainedsocks]

The Vow

Pirate AU, part two! I don't have any more written than this, and I don't have a whole lot of plot planned for it, I'll just come back periodically and have fun in this fantasy version of the setting. Open to requests/suggestions if there's something you want to see let me know!

Notes: Decker's name changed to Ecker for the AU because I couldn't write about ship decks and have a main character called Decker... I just couldn't... xD

Content: aftermath of whump, death threats, angst, emotional whump, captive whumpee, failed rescue

[Part one] [Main Series]

Archer’s breath was thick in his lungs. Words stuck in his throat. The world spun and then stopped only to start spinning again as he tried to comprehend what was happening around him. The same way it had a week ago.

He never wanted to be one to put his crew in danger, but the contract to salvage certain things from a wreckage of one of the King’s vessels paid well, so he’d taken the job. It should have been easy and simple. The wreck was washed up on some rocks and mostly intact but incapable of getting back out to sea. They were to retrieve the goods and the captain's logs and some important scrolls and deliver them back to home shores. Tidy, straightforward. He knew the risk of pirating was high on a washed up vessel but he had a fast, manoeuvrable ship and good men, it was as likely to be them who braved the rocky seas first as anyone else.

But... Ecker. In a sleek schooner, with his evil, rank men. Ecker had got there first and hell had broken loose. Archer’s ship was better equipped for it, more cannons, more trained men, it wouldn’t have been long before they could subdue and overcome, and he had just hoped there wouldn’t be too great a loss of life.

In the midst of the firefight, between cannon shots and gunpowder smoke, and frantic sailing, a man had been dragged onto Ecker’s deck. A man blindfolded, in a loose shirt, hands bound, and too far away to see properly.

“Hold fire!” Ecker had shouted across the space. “Hold fire or I will spill his guts across the deck!”

Archer dismissed it, at first, because he couldn’t back down or lose ground just for some poor sod caught prisoner on Ecker’s vessel. Only then Jordan had handed across a looking glass, as drained of colour as the sun-bleached sail above their heads. It had taken one look through the glass to recognise the man. He would know that face--even half obscured--anywhere.

Zach—back from the dead. Zach, not lost at sea as they’d thought, but taken captive and held without word for two long years. All while Archer sailed on without him, without even knowing he left Zach behind.

So the world stopped and he called a ceasefire even as his head spun, and walked onto a sandbank with Ecker to negotiate the freedom of the friend who he’d lost two years previously.

“He was lost, lost at sea.”

“Seems like he was very much found, to me,” Ecker had said, gloating, drinking in Archer’s distress.

“Why wait this long, why not reveal your hand before now?”

“I knew a day would come where he would be a useful bargaining chip. Why present that on a platter when I held all the cards? Now I have leverage, and a way to get my ship out of your sights.”

“Fine, leave him behind, and I’ll let you sail away. Unscathed. You have my word,” Archer had tried to say it without sounding like he was pleading.

“Oh I don’t want your word, young Captain, I want your gold.”

“And then you give us Zach? Unharmed?”

“I can’t say unharmed, it has been a long two years for the poor lad. But yes, you pay, and he stays alive, and I’ll throw in the important bounty from that there wreck for good measure, if you like. You’ll meet us at my chosen location as soon as you have the ransom… but if any of ye so much as look at my ship wrong as I take my leave he’ll be dead before you can say ‘Davy Jones’. Locker”

He’d told his men to hold steady while Ecker sailed off into the distance, and did all he could to gather the damn ransom Ecker had demanded, and in return he was supposed to get Zach’s life as well as the logs and scrolls Ecker had pilfered from the wrecked ship. Ecker would go free, but he’d have his friend, he’d get Zach back.

So why was he now walking out of the Keep empty handed?

Zach had been—god, dragged away, without a care for his well being—and he’d rounded on Ecker with a snarl.

“What do you even want with him?”

“That’s my business, and if you want to keep your heads you’ll ask no more questions.”

“Tell me what can I do to persuade you? What will it cost? My life? You can take mine!”

“I want nothing you have to offer, and the look on your face is all the satisfaction I need. Now get out, before we throw you out… in pieces.”

Ecker’s threat had been real, he didn’t have to second guess that, so he took the chance to keep their heads. Their blades and guns and ammunition were dropped unceremoniously from the parapet above the gate after it slammed closed. Slammed and barred him from rescuing the one person he had sworn not to let down another time.

Turning his back on the Keep was the hardest thing he had ever done, it was surreal to place one foot in front of the other and walk away. And yet he was doing it. The sea was before him across the span of the small island, and his two most trusted crew were at his back.

So he walked, head swimming, just trying to keep them all alive. Treading the waters of his mind and trying to find some solution, a way out of this, even as it felt like drowning. His heart clenched as he cast one last look behind him at the Keep, half expecting to see a flash of dark hair at a window, a hand reaching for him. He wasn’t sure if it was better or worse that he didn’t. He didn’t know if he imagined the scream ringing in his ears or if it was real.

“Archer, we can’t.”

Jordan’s voice was easy to tune out. He needed space to think. It was harrowing to consider leaving like this but he had nothing to hold over Ecker. “Nothing you have to offer.”

So maybe there was something, if he could just find it.

“Didn’t you see him, what they’re doing to him?”

Archer shuddered, pausing briefly before he kept walking through the scrubland. He’d seen. Zach’s bruised body, chafed and scarred wrists, how thin he was. More than that it was his eyes that told more than Archer could bear. They were haunted, hurting, desperate and then filled with hope that was snatched away so cruelly, so instantly.

“What if he doesn’t survive much longer?”

“Jordan,” Sasha snapped.

Archer held his head higher, it wouldn’t do to have Ecker’s men see him breakdown at the threshold of their own defences. He had to be stronger, prove he was better, not show how rattled he was. And Ecker had to have a weakness, something they could exploit. He wasn’t a god or a lord, he wasn’t even a good sailor, he just had enough people around him to make sure he couldn’t fail. If he could just get him alone, five minutes alone and he could best the man. But like this…

“Are you listening to me?” Jordan grabbed his arm and swung him around.

“No I'm not fucking listening to your petty whining! I'm thinking about how the hell we're going to get him out of there!” Archer said it in one breath and wrenched his arm loose. He buckled on his sword belt and stared above Jordan’s head, unwilling to meet his eyes..

“We can't do it here, not in this fortress, not so outnumbered,” Sasha said quietly from his right.

“No, we can’t,” he agreed.

“What’s the plan, Captain?” she replied.

“I don’t know yet, I have to think…”

“Archer, we can’t leave him here,” Jordan said and Archer finally made himself look at Jordan’s face, saw the pain there, and let that pain sink into him too. He’d carry all of their hurt, shoulder every burden.

“And if we get ourselves killed today, trying the impossible, who will come for him then?” he asked quietly.

Jordan paused, licked his lips, and dragged his eyes back to the Keep with a barely perceivable nod. “I understand, but to see him like that…. There are hurts there that even I may not be able to heal.”

“I know. It pains me too. And we will not leave him to rot with them, we only have to be smart about it. We wait, and we make a plan, and then we bring him home.”

He didn’t wait for a reply but turned and walked on, to the small beach where their row boat had been dragged high upon the sand. With practiced ease he hauled it back out into the water and tried to not to feel like a failure. It was only halfway back to the ship, with the spray stinging his eyes, did he finally let a few stray tears fall--when he could pretend it was just the splash of the waves on his face. He’d have to be strong again once they reached the ship, when he had to be Captain again and not just a man.

He wouldn’t look back. This was not the end of it. He vowed it with one hand on the pommel of his sword and the other on his heart.

I will save you, I will come back for you, this I swear.

[Taglist, let me know if you want to be added or removed from either the AU or the regular list! @haro-whumps @whumpthisway @hurting-fictional-people @lonesome--hunter @crowned-avery @extrabitterbrain @firewheeesky @outofangband @0idril0]

[artificialqueens]

A Vampire in Paris: Part One (Gigi x Crystal) - Chae

A/N: aaaa it’s here, part one! i was NOT expecting it to be 3.4k words but i’m so so so proud of the dialogue in this chapter. if you can handle a bit of exposition to get to the crygi fluff i swear it’s worth it XD

Summary: Gigi Goode arrives in Paris to start preparing for Fashion Week, but what dark secret is her company hiding? What’s the deal with those three supermodels? And why is Crystal Methyd so damn adorable? 

We Begin

This couldn’t be happening. It felt wholly, totally, surreally unreal. Every dream Gigi Goode had ever dreamt seemed to be coming true at that very moment. The twenty-two year old had gone through immigration and baggage claim without really feeling much. When she met the Uber that was ordered to take her to the complex, she hadn’t felt much either. But now, as she drove through the streets of Paris, taking in the narrow paths and low buildings that completely contrasted the Los Angeles she was used to, she felt like she had arrived.

Crystal Methyd wasn’t exactly well-known, but she didn’t fly under the radar either. Anyone who spent more than two minutes researching modern fashion knew about her. She’d risen to popularity online through her wacky and interpretive, yet still fashionable, street style. Then, arguably the largest label in the world, ‘Fatelle,’ bought her company (as they did with about 90% of the fashion industry) and moved her to Paris. In a few weeks would be ‘The Methyd’s’ first showing for Paris Fashion Week, aka her ticket to worldwide fame and success, and Crystal had asked Gigi to model for her. She didn’t even know Crystal was allowed to choose her own models in the first place.

Gigi was used to having some spotlight. She’d amassed quite the following on Instagram and YouTube, which was how she got signed to her agency and apparently how Crystal had found her as well. Gigi was still dumbfounded by her luck, or talent, or universal power or whatever had gotten her to Paris to model for fashion week. She still couldn’t wrap her head around that fact when the car stopped in front of a huge building. It wasn’t modern or tall like businesses back home, but it took up an entire Parisian-sized block and stood a story or two higher than the average building. 

Gigi gripped her luggage, two roller-bag cases, a duffel bag, a small backpack, and a purse, and breathed out. She wanted to look confident and put-together when she met… whoever she was going to meet. Would it be Crystal? She’d been contacted by someone named ‘Trixie,’ so probably not, but one could hope. Gigi stepped forward, entering through the gigantic gold spinning door and coughing a bit as the scent of floral cleaning product wafted up her nose.

The lobby was pristine—spotless, sparkling, even, marble floors and marble walls and marble ceilings galore. The architecture was retro, yet the furniture seemed almost futuristic. Glass display cases flaunted the designers’ best works, particularly the original creator, Miss Fame’s, designs. She felt like every single person who would work here attended at least three fashion shows a week. The young model took a moment to admire her surroundings before her heels clicked all the way to the reception desk.

There, she was met with a strikingly familiar face, with a name tag to match.

“Excuse me—wait, are you-”

“Shhhh!” the woman seemed to perk up immediately at the prospect of being recognized, looking at Gigi frantically. “I’m nobody! I’m the receptionist.” She held a finger up to her lips.

“But your name tag, it even says-”

“My nametag doesn’t say shit!”

Gigi was a little surprised at how casual the other woman spoke to her, but blinked and continued.

“You aren’t even trying to hide it?”

“Well, not everybody is as smart as you and remembers photoshoots from forty years ago!”

“This is a fashion label’s headquarters!”

The woman paused, not knowing how to respond. “Okay, touché. Ya got me.”

“May I ask a question?”

“I mean… yeah?”

“How do you look the exact same as you did in the eighties?” Gigi was raising an eyebrow at Adore Delano, a female rock icon known for her raunchy photoshoots and close relationship to the Fatelle brand. Her hair and makeup changed, her clothes were different, too, of course, but she looked the same otherwise. What kind of ooky kooky hyaluronic acid was keeping a 60 year old woman looking 20?!

“Ask, and you will not receive,” Adore sighed, playing with her hair. “There are just some things you’d be safer… not knowing,” she smiled decidedly, pleased with her answer.

“Right,” Gigi grimaced, avoiding eye contact with the star.

“Anyway girl, what’s the sitch? What can I help you with?”

“Ah, yes of course, I’m here to meet.. well, someone. I’m a new model and I’m supposed to be staying here for a while.”

“Ohhh, you’re one of the international shipments coming in for fashion week. Which designer?”

“The Methyd.”

“Shut up!” Adore grinned, a twinkle in her eye. “Babe, you’re set for life. You better make a good impression on Crystal, she’s supposed to be the new thing and stuff!”

Gigi blushed. “Will I meet her today?” 

“Mmm,” Adore checked a computer screen, clicking a few buttons and squinting. “You’re supposed to meet with Trixie, so you’ll have to ask her.” She grabbed something from under her desk. “Gigi Goode, right?”

“That’s me. Good morning!”

“Party!” The older girl grinned, handing Gigi a small card. “That’s your room key—don’t lose it. Unless you wanna like, get stolen from.”

Gigi took the key, placing it in her purse. “Thank you, and noted. Do not get robbed.”

Suddenly, another voice joined the pair as a tall woman strode into the lobby, conversing on the phone. She was wearing a pink blazer-mini skirt set and white patent pumps, the outfit hugging her curves perfectly. Her hair was big and blonde, straight with iron-curled ringlets at the tips, and her big lips and long lashes completed the Barbie aesthetic. Her voice, however, was stern and confident, the complete opposite of her doll-like appearance. If this was Trixie, Gigi was already intimidated.

“Well, Brenda, tell Katya that I’ll call her back later, please,” she commanded, a short answer coming from the other end before Trixie interrupted, scolding the person in French before hanging up. She looked to Gigi with a smile. “Sorry about that. You must be Gigi!” 

Gigi smiled and reached out to shake her hand, but forgot that air kisses were the customary French greeting. Nice going, idiot, Gigi thought to herself as she finished the proper hello. “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Mattel!”

“Oh hun, you can call me Trixie,” she smiled. “Welcome to Fatelle! I’m your modeling manager, so we’ll be seeing each other a lot. You come to me with any questions, concerns, issues, you need a tampon, a condom, a chocolate, a shot, I’m your gal,” she winked. Gigi laughed.

“In that case, can I have a-”

“You are not about to ask me for a condom.”

“Well…”

The two burst out, Trixie’s laugh coming out more like a bird screech than a human chuckle. 

“Ah! Almost forgot,” Trixie reached into her pocket and grabbed a sticky note, handing it to Gigi. “That’s my number. I’ll text you important info, like meeting and fitting dates and such. We’ve only got three weeks to prepare for this, so the schedule is packed.”

Gigi folded the paper and put it with her room card, already nervous for what was to come. “Agh, well, I’m excited to start!”

“Of course!” Trixie smiled, glancing at her phone as it buzzed. “Shit, well, I gotta go.”

“Hold on, sorry, how do I get to my room?”

“Right! I’m stupid for not telling you.” Trixie pointed to where she’d come from. “Over there is the apartment complex area. Your key card will say which room it is, and the elevators are dead ahead. This place has a restaurant open to the public like a hotel does, but it’s free for models and employees and serves us privately during the day. There’s also kitchens in the rooms if you wanna cook for yourself,” she explained. “Later tonight our team should be getting together for a meeting, I’ll text you the details, kay?” Trixie almost mumbled the last part as she frantically punched the keyboard of her phone, obviously annoyed with the person she was texting. “Enjoy your stay!”

Before Gigi could even say bye, Trixie was gone. She understood for the most part, but she couldn’t help but notice Trixie hadn’t said anything about the portion of the building across from the apartments. The curiosity ate her up, so she opted to ask Adore.

“What’s over there?” Gigi motioned to the glass doors that led to the mystery area.

“That’s where all the businessy stuff happens,” Adore rested her head in her hand. “You’ll probably go there to do your model stuff. The further in you go, the crazier the shit is.”

“Crazy shit? What kind of crazy shit?”

Adore bit her lip, knowing she’d said too much. “Enjoy your stay, Miss Goode.”

Gigi raised an eyebrow. Something smelled rotten at the Fatelle headquarters, and the young woman was dying to learn more. She followed instructions to get to her room, a spacious and immaculately decorated space. Flopping on the bed, Gigi closed her eyes, imagining what it would be like to own such a large company. She’d never considered designing clothes, more than happy to stick to modeling. Speaking of which, she had a dinner to get ready for. She sat up, releasing her ginger waves from their ponytail with a shake of her head, exhaling a breath. After she unpacked, she was going to make herself look smoking hot. Crystal would not regret choosing her to be a model.

———

Gigi knocked on the glass doors leading to the private seating of the restaurant, trying to get Trixie’s attention. She’d worn her fanciest mini dress and most expensive Louboutins in hopes of impressing her team. The table was large, maybe ten or eleven girls crowding around it. And in the back, she spotted Crystal.

Or did Crystal spot her? Because they were making eye contact— holy shit they were making eye contact and Crystal was the prettiest girl ever what the fuck? Gigi gulped as someone else, a girl she didn’t recognize, let her in.

“Hey! Here to meet with The Methyd team?”

“Mhm,” Gigi nodded, air kissing the other woman. “Gigi Goode.”

“Oh, awesome! I’m Rock M Sakura, one of the makeup artists,” the shorter girl grinned at Gigi, her appearance reminding the model of a magical girl anime. “But you can just call me Rock.”

“Rock? What’s that short for?”

“Rock and Roll, baby,” she made a face and sat back down at the table, leaving Gigi to giggle and flick her eyes around to find an empty spot.

Of course the only one left was right next to Crystal.

And of course Crystal was smiling at her the entire time she walked to the seat.

“Hey, you’re Gigi right?” The designer asked, making the model blush at the fact that she knew her name. 

“Good morning, it’s an honor to meet you Ms. Methyd.”

“Ah jeez, just call me Crystal! We don’t use last names here,” Crystal motioned to the laughing girls around the dinner table. “It looks like everyone’s here actually, we can finally introduce ourselves!”

Gigi glanced at Trixie, who was sitting close by, her facial expression reading “is this girl always this sweet and peppy?” The manager caught her eye and shot her back a look that said “yes.” 

Crystal tapped a wine glass, garnering everyone’s attention. “Everyone, thank you all for coming to start this journey with me,” the designer started, a grin wide across her lips. “I know we’re all gonna make an amazing team, we just have to, uh, know each other’s names first?” Everyone chuckled lightly. Crystal looked towards Gigi with a sparkle in her eye. “Why don’t you start?”

Gigi took a breath, wanting to make sure her expression was stone-cold. “Nice to meet you all, I’m Gigi Goode, I just arrived from Los Angeles, I’ll be modeling.”

Crystal smiled, beckoning the rest to introduce themselves.

“My name is Jackie Cox, I came in from New York not too long ago, and I’m your backstage coordinator!”

“Bonsoir, I am Nicky Doll from Paris, obviously. I’ll be modeling as well.”

“Hey y’all, I’m Trixie Mattel, which you probably already knew, because I got you all here, because I’m your modeling manager.”

“The name is Jaida Essence Hall, and I’ve been modeling with Fatelle for some time now. I’m looking forward to working with Miss Methyd.”

“Hi, my name’s Rock M Sakura, just got here from San Francisco!  I’ll be your assistant makeup artist!”

“Raven. Lead makeup artist.” 

Now this chick seemed… off. She was extremely out of place amongst the rest of the girls in the group. She was just sitting there, glaring at the rest of the crew and almost… taking in information? Her face was sharp and beautiful, but her eyes pierced through Gigi’s soul as she, for some reason, stared her down. They moved on.

“I’m Plastique Tiara, I’ll also be a model. I can’t wait to start!”

“Hey there, I’m Brooke Lynn Hytes, if you’re Canadian, you know me. I’ll be helping get you guys outfits and hair stylists.”

“Ugh, great to meet y’all! I’m Jan Sport, I’m another model!”

There was only one girl left, thankfully, and only one more name to remember. “Hey, I’m Dahlia Sin. I’ll obviously be modeling.”

Crystal rubbed her hands together excitedly. “Yay! Now that we all know each other, hopefully the waiter’s coming sooooon!”

The table murmured in agreement, returning back to their previous conversations.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Gigi,” Jackie said from her left. Nicky peeked over her shoulder and nodded, flashing a gorgeous smile.

“The pleasure is all mine!” Gigi replied. “I can’t wait to try some authentic French cuisine,” she liked her lips.

“That’s right, you just got off the plane!” Crystal exclaimed. 

Gigi confirmed. “How long have you been staying here?”

“Oh gosh, not long, maybe a month or two. Most of this team has only been working at Fatelle for less than a year.”

“Except moi!” Nicky’s thick accent interjected, an eyebrow raised playfully. “And Raven. Jaida’s probably been here just over a year. But yeah, apart from us, even Trixie’s a baby.” 

Raven seemed to sense her name being spoken, but only tossed them a glance before returning to typing on her phone. Trixie was enthralled in some deep phone convo, the hard worker never seeming to catch a break.

“Oh, I just can’t wait to start! These designs have been in my head for years and they finally get to see the light of day on my amazing models!” Crystal gushed. The passion for her work seemed to be flowing out of each word she spoke, the radiant positivity infectious. 

“We’re so excited to see you succeed, Crys,” Jan quickly complimented before returning to an apparently intense debate with Brooke and Dahlia. 

Gigi noticed the waiter walk in through the glass door to take their drink orders, the model smiling at the thought of finally getting some real food in her. The only thing she’d been eating for the past 48 hours were shitty plane meals and junky snacks to try and make it through the thirteen hour joint flight. 

When the door was open, however, Gigi couldn’t help but notice three distant figures sauntering down the restaurant hall. They looked super important, super rich. They must have been supermodels, but she couldn’t tell from how far away she was.

Jackie caught her line of sight. “You know them, right?” She asked, an edge of malice in her tone.

“I couldn’t exactly see who they were, but I’m sure I’d know of them.”

“They’re some bad business,” Jackie grunted. 

“Really? Who are they?”

“Those are just some of the other models. Aquaria, Valentina, and Naomi Smalls,” Crystal explained, making Gigi’s eyes widen.

“No way! They’re insanely famous! Isn’t Aquaria supposed to take over the company or something?” Gigi raved.

“That’s up for debate,” Nicky rolled her eyes. “It sure looks like it, though.”

“If Mean Girls was real life, Aquaria is Regina, Naomi is Gretchen, and Valentina is Karen,” Jackie said. “And don’t you dare try to become Cady.”

Gigi laughed. “I won’t, I promise. I like you all too much.”

“Their people are another beast altogether,” Nicky spat. “One that we’ve been trying to conquer, but they’re just so full of themselves they can’t see past their own noses.”

“They’re working for Fatelle Official, so they’re doing something right,” Crystal tried to reason. 

“Well, I’m working for The Methyd, which is gonna be bigger than Fatelle. I can just feel it,” Gigi grinned. Crystal laughed airily, a tinge of red hitting her cheeks.

“Thanks, Gig!” 

Gigi couldn’t help but blush once again at the cute nickname Crystal has already begun to use. They all placed their drink orders, and Gigi managed to converse with Crystal without exploding. The older girl was dressed in a sparkly cocktail dress, with bright colored eyeshadow and thick eyeliner. Her hair was curly and mouse-brown, and it framed her face while flaring out in the back. Crystal was dastardly gorgeous, with twinkling eyes, a tiny nose, and lips ever-curved into a smile. Thank god it was normal to look at someone while they talked to you, because Gigi couldn’t stop looking at Crystal.

Gigi sipped the mixed drink that was brought to her at last, while Crystal looked at her with a playful smirk. 

“Have you ever thought about going blonde?”

“Ha! Maybe? Why?”

“One, you’d look good. Two, I’ve been wanting to go redhead but I don’t want to come for your brand!”

Gigi laughed heartily, wiping a bit of drink off her lip. “I’ll have to think about it!”

“If you do it, do it before the show!”

“And do it at a hairdresser,” a voice said at the other end of the table. It was quiet and barely audible over the chatter of the other women, but Gigi realized Raven had been listening to their conversation. She made eye contact with the older woman and grew hot, her gaze making Gigi anxious and want to look away. She nodded at Raven and turned back to Crystal, cringing.

“What’s her deal?”

“Raven’s?” Crystal bit her lip, not entirely comfortable with the makeup artist’s presence either. “The higher ups said she needed to work with us since everyone was new, and she is the best makeup artist in the city, really,” she shrugged. “I couldn’t say no.”

Gigi nodded in understanding. “She keeps looking at us.”

“I know,” Crystal chuckled. “But I mean, who wouldn’t want to look at you?”

The model turned bright red, rubbing the back of her neck. “Thank you, Crystal. It… means a lot coming from you.”

It was the designer’s turn to blush, and for a few moments the two sat in awkward silence before they were interrupted by the waiter taking their orders. Gigi hadn’t even looked at the menu— she was too busy talking, so she just ordered whatever Crystal got. 

Gigi knew, even from the short time she’d spent with her new friends, that she was in for a wild ride. And she knew something was up with Raven, Aquaria, Valentina, Naomi, and Adore, and she was going to get to the bottom of it before Fashion Week was over.

———

It was 11:58 PM when Raven opened the great wooden doors to the study, shutting them gently behind herself. She spotted Violet Chachki perched on the desk as usual, smoking a cigarette from a holder ring. Violet shot the makeup artist a look before clearing her throat.

“Darling, Raven’s here.”

In a movie-like scene, the huge velvet chair behind the oak desk spun around, revealing a disinterested Miss Fame. She too, was smoking a cigarette, but in a much less dramatic fashion than her assistant. 

“So?” She pressed.

“You definitely want that Gigi girl. And you want Methyd, too.”

“Right. And?”

“You’re in luck, because apparently they’re a package deal.”

Violet grinned, glancing to her lover who seemed to share the same sentiment. The designer and the model. The CEO and the burlesque dancer.

Fame looked back to Raven, stubbing out her cigarette with her own finger.

 “History repeats itself, it seems.”

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Eurovision 2021 final thoughts

Well.....it’s over.

It feels great, but also kinda weird to be done with it. I mean, it took an extra year to get here! But I’d say it was worth the wait....

Holy CRAP this year was good. Oh my god, this was SO much fun to watch! The presentation, voting, and especially the songs were unbelievably strong! It made me so happy that my bad luck in the semifinals didn’t even let me down all that much, so that’s a good sign. XD

I haven’t shared this before, cuz I didn’t wanna be a downer, but.....there was a part of me that was worried. Even after listening to and loving the majority of the entries, I was still worried that, when the show started, there’d be some kind of big tell that....this wasn’t a “normal” Eurovision. Something that would bring my enjoyment of the show down to a level where....I-I’d only be able to say “at least it took place, but it wasn’t as strong as usual”. That small, pessimistic part of me that was so hurt by last year that it’d become cynical, and scared of getting hopes up.....but I hid it. I love this contest so much that....bringing down the mood for my fellow fans wouldn’t be cool at all.

And thankfully.....I came out of this with a big smile on my face like normal. I enjoyed this year just as much as previous years! In terms of the songs alone, I’d seriously call this one of my favorite years, probably just behind 2016 (my favorite year). The fact that I don’t just agree with the winner, but I LOVE the winner, was definitely the icing on the cake! But the presentation was also outstanding! It really feels like everything was put into this contest to make it as enjoyable as possible with the limitations they were given. The interval acts were great, especially getting to see so many of the winners again! The rooftop concerts in the final were a lot of fun. But, as good as everything in the final was.....When the first semifinal started, and I saw that there was a crowd, coupled with the song that Duncan sang, I legit thought I was gonna cry. That’s definitely gonna stick with me in the future when I think of the most memorable moments of watching Eurovision. I could seriously go on and on about how much I enjoyed watching this....so I will!

Oh god the voting. OH GOD THE VOTING. Tense as always, and I loved it! No clear favorite, the juries making decisions the televoters didn’t agree with, a plethora of different countries getting twelves, and an ending that proved my predictions wrong in the best way possible. It was the BEST way to end the contest, and a very good example of why I’m really loving having the jury vote and televote separated....cuz you never know what’ll happen until the very! Last! Moment!

Seriously, that moment of Finland’s televoting result making them in the lead for a brief period was AWESOME. And then it was Ukraine, and then it was Italy, and I was thinking “oh god slow down, my poor heart-” And yeah, there were SO many great songs and great performances that it really did feel like a close race! 

Even rewatching it was exhilarating! Rewatching it also made me appreciate things that I didn’t before (due to being, well....too caught up in the moment). Like, the wide range of music genres in the top five! I hope this inspires more diversity in future years! I mean, you got Italy bringing us rock (which, by the way, never dies), you got France bringing us a classic waltz, you got Switzerland bringing us a powerful modern ballad, you got Iceland bringing us disco, and you got Ukraine bringing us.....well, a friend of mine called it “folktronica”, and yeah, I don’t think there’s a word that describes them better. XD

Not only that, but there’s one more interesting thing about this top five! Can you guess what it is?

......

......Yeah, only one of them’s in English! Imagine that, entries that DON’T have to be in English to become big hits! Seriously, I’m American and even I know that having understandable lyrics is really more of a nice bonus in Eurovision. What’s most important is having a song that sounds good. And if a song sounds best in another language, you don’t have to translate it for the contest! (Especially if it results in obvious ESL that loses the song’s original meaning, but that thankfully hasn’t happened often) Don’t be afraid to send songs in your native language! I hope people learn from this...

(But then again, this has happened before.....In 2007, the winning song wasn’t in English, runner-up was in multiple languages and third place was also not in English, so....I’m probably putting too much emphasis on this, s-sorry >.<)

But enough about the top five, let’s look at the full results:

I’ll say it again.....this is my favorite winner since “Heroes”. I love the Italian entry, and I’m very happy that they proved me wrong. I didn’t think they could do it. Not only is it a rock song, which isn’t to everyone’s tastes....but it’s from Italy, who seemed to be cursed to never win even while sending fan-favorites year after year. Two second places (oneofwhichwasunserved*cough*2011*cough*butIdigress), one third place that also won the televote that year, and one very, very robbed sixth place. I thought this was gonna be another one of those cases where Italy get screwed somehow by other, more popular songs. But I still absolutely loved the song and rooted for it anyway, and......lo and behold, here we are. A rock song won Eurovision. A rock song in Italian. And it’s awesome, and I couldn’t be happier! To be specific, they were my fourth favorite in the final, but they were my favorite of the possible winners, so it still feels like the best case scenario! Woo!

Having the runner-up also from the Big Five is kinda surreal, since save for Italy they’re usually all underrated due to not having to pass through a semifinal (with exceptions like Germany 2018 and Spain 2012 and 2014). That’s a cool way of looking at this, since.....I’m sorry, but I never got the hype behind France’s song.....It was well-performed, but.....I just find it kinda boring, save for the ending. I-I feel bad that I couldn’t make myself love it, cuz I wanted to, but I just....couldn’t. I guess it’s a case of me being too stupid to get it, pffffff. But I don’t dislike it, so I’m fine with it being the runner-up.

Switzerland won the jury vote and achieved their highest placement since.....*looks it up*....1993, geez.....AKA, their highest placement since I started watching. XD This is FAR from my favorite entry of theirs, but I still like it fine and I’m happy to see Switzerland do well. It was a powerful song. And, unlike other jury-pleasers like the Austrian entry in 2018 and the Macedonian entry in 2019, they actually got a triple-digit score from the televote! They were loved all around! The same goes for France, so....that makes the most obvious “jury bait”, uh....Portugal, I guess. XD

Iceland came fourth, and.....can I just say how bad I feel for those guys? From having a potential win snatched from under them by last year’s cancellation, to one of them getting Covid the day before their semifinal, making them the only act that couldn’t perform live, it felt like Iceland couldn’t catch a break. But thankfully, due to their very strong rehearsals, they were able to rise above it and come fourth PURELY based on the strength of their song. Heck YEAH, what a beautiful ending to this story. They weren’t one of my personal favorites, but it was still a very cute song, and it DESERVES its placing just so much.

Ukraine’s song was one that only got better and better for me over time, and it was also the favorite song of a friend of mine, so seeing them in the top five makes me happy too! That’s a FUN song, and it’s near universally loved, so I wasn’t too surprised. I did guess that it had a chance at pulling off the win, but the competition was too strong. In a weaker year, they probably would’ve done it.

I’m really happy to say this next one: Finland came sixth! WOOOOOO! Their first top ten result since Lordi’s win and awwwww MAN do they deserve it. Such an awesome, intense song! It was my favorite song in the final, and I wasn’t alone! They brought the roof off the place, and for good dang reason! Seeing Finland do so well after being so underrated for so long.....it makes me very happy to see that happen. Especially with a song as amazing as “Dark Side”. It’s now a permanent part of my playlist, and I love it. <3 Empire of the freaks, all drinks on ME!

(I stand by the fact that Finland should just keep sending rock songs to Eurovision. They’re clearly very good at making those)

Now, Malta coming seventh.....hmmm....I have some problems with this? I mean, pre-contest favorites not doing as well as predicted HAS happened before (oh, hello 2017), but that doesn’t mean I’m not a little surprised? I really do think they deserved to do a bit better.....I thought that was a top five-worthy song and performance.....I’m happy with the top five we got, but I didn’t think Iceland and Ukraine would place over Malta! Destiny had one of the best voices of the show! If I had to guess, it was because they performed so early? Or maybe people just overhyped the heck out of it and it got old. I dunno. Seventh is still good for Malta. So yeah, it’s not bad, just a bit surprising.

Lithuania in eighth, I pretty much called. I knew that was a top ten song. Still couldn’t beat LT United’s record though, pfffffff.....Guess Lithuania have to try even harder to do that. XD Russia was another one I knew would be in the top ten. Their song had a very strong message that sticks with you. Lithuania and Russia may not have been favorites of mine, but I can’t complain with their results at all.

And finally, rounding out the top ten is my second-favorite, Greece, tied with Bulgaria! I’m more than happy with this result for Greece - I would’ve liked to see them do a BIT better, but a top ten finish is a top ten finish, and the competition was really strong. Their entry was still fantastic! A powerful song I can’t get enough of AND the best staging of the year. You can’t say Greece didn’t try their hardest!

As for Bulgaria....not complaining. It was a fan-favorite for a while, but for me, it was a song that I loved the lyrics to, but not much else. I did think it’d do a bit better purely because of how relatable the lyrics were, but with this competition? This was the best they were gonna get. XD A slow song in a sea of high energy-performances. Makes it stand out, but not necessarily be what people wanna hear.

The same is true for Portugal, who had the other slower song. THIS was the “jury bait”. XD Seeing how many points the jury gave them compared to the televote....wasn’t all that surprising. It’s not a bad song at all. It’s actually pretty good. And twelfth is a good result for Portugal. I think they can be happy with that. “Jury bait” isn’t a bad thing at all, cuz I’ve liked plenty of songs that’ve had similar results (I’ve even loved a couple of them)

Moldova were a surprise for me. I honestly expected them to place toward the bottom. Their entry was fun, sure, but I didn’t think it....stood out all that much? I feel like it was missing something staging-wise. Moldova’s entries usually have really creative staging, so yeah, maybe I just felt a bit let down. But the song’s good. It just....was a party song in a sea of them. XD

Now Sweden, on the other hand.....I’m actually not surprised THAT much. Yeah, I did at first predict that it’d finish in the top ten, cuz....well, it’s Sweden, and the song was good and seemed to be popular. But after the first semifinal, reading comments and posts from fans really made me realize just how many people....don’t like “Voices”? It’s been called generic a lot, and.....well, I don’t agree. I think it’s a very good song. But I’m just one person and yeah, seeing the popular opinion of it just drop like that made me change my mind on calling it a top ten song. XD Not gonna act like seeing Sweden on the right side of the board (even at the top of it) isn’t still a bit weird, though....

Serbia, I thought would do better. I thought they’d be higher than Moldova at least. That was a big crowd-pleaser and a great hype song. I didn’t think it’d be a front-runner or anything, but I did think it’d be on the left side of the board. I can’t even say that it being in Serbian held it back, cuz this year proves that non-English songs can and will be fan-favorites. So.....I dunno what happened there.

After Serbia are two other party songs, Cyprus and Israel. I have nothing really to say about Israel. I thought they’d do about this well. And Cyprus, I’m kinda bummed didn’t do better, since it was a GREAT performance - it was enough to win me over, when it was a very hit-and-miss song for me before the contest - but going first when already there were a lot of party songs to compete with probably did them in. Oh, and the people who think parts of the song are annoying, like......I did for a while.....ahem. >__>

Then we come to Norway.....who were my third-favorite. At first, I was kinda....OK, very surprised at how they did, especially when it came to the juries. But after learning that they were only five points away from not qualifying for the final.....I’m just happy they were there. I’m happy I got to hear that song in the final. It’s obviously not to everyone’s tastes, so I shouldn’t have expected it to do well. I was just a bit hopeful. As it is, I love the song, and it’s currently one of my go-to songs to sing to myself. XD (Also, TIX is an icon)

Belgium getting only three points from the televote was painful, since I did like their entry a lot......but I can’t act like I didn’t at least kinda see it coming. Even though I liked them, I was still surprised they even made it to the final. XD With such strong competition, a band just standing there and singing a downbeat song? Yeah, this was as good as they were gonna do. Still a very cool song, but standing out was always gonna be an issue for them. They also performed really early on, so that probably didn’t help.

Azerbaijan....oh Azerbaijan.....how did they do you like that. Seriously, down in twentieth? What are they doing in twentieth!? They were one of the best of the upbeat songs! They stood out! I’d put them above Cyprus and Israel easily! I don’t understand that.....I do understand Albania though. They were pretty much doomed. Barely qualified for the final, and then stuck in second position. Ouch. Kinda unfortunate, since I actually like Albania’s song a bit more now after hearing it live....

I really, really, REALLY wanted San Marino to do better. I was HOPING they’d do better. They were clearly trying really hard this year. The little country that could, pffff....And if you ask me, “Adrenalina” is probably the most solid song they’ve ever sent (I say this as someone who loves “Spirit Of The Night”, for the record), so I thought it deserved to give them their best result ever. But....nah. It did worse than “Say Na Na Na” because....I dunno.....Serhat funny? That’s all I got....seriously, it’s unfortunate. The dream should’ve done better than the meme. XD

And we finally come to the flops.....the four countries that got nul from the televote, all automatic qualifiers. Seriously, why did FOUR countries get nul? At least three were saved by the juries, but if you ask me, it was still unfair.....

The Netherlands are the one I easily have the hardest time understanding. Germany, while I found their song funny, I can easily see why people would find it annoying (I DID think the televote would like them MORE than the juries though?), and I was not expecting them to do well, because it didn’t seem like they were trying to do well. They were just having fun. Spain, well.....a good singer does not a good entry make. It’s the Eurovision SONG Contest, not Singer Contest. If the song fails to stand out, you’re doomed. I was impressed by their performance, but it’s still just a ballad. It’s sad when you know the story behind it, though....And with the UK, it was a party song in a sea of party songs. It had TOUGH competition.

But....the Netherlands? Why the CRAP didn’t they get points from the televote? While not one of my absolute favorites, that was a darn good song and a great live performance. What happened? I don’t understand! There was nothing else that sounded like that! It was unique and sounded great, wh- my brain hurts....

On the UK getting nul overall though, I do have some complaints. Sure, it failed to stand out, but to score nothing? A bit unfair, isn’t it? I mean, there was nothing wrong with the song or the performance at all! It was the most fun song the UK have sent in years! I liked hearing a fun song from them! And c’mon, they’ve sent a lot worse before and still got points. “Still In Love With You” got points. That was debatably a joke song. “Love Will Set You Free” got points. That was a boring ballad. Heck, even flipping “That Sounds Good To Me” - it came last, but it at least got SOME points! And that song was CRAP.

Now, thankfully, I didn’t love this song nearly as much as I loved “Bigger Than Us”, so I’m not super salty about it or anything. I’m not gonna rant about the UK coming last again. I’m just.....a bit baffled by the nul. Geez, UK, who did you piss off? Eh, it’s not the end of the world or anything.....and I’ve been through good songs getting nul before (....”Black Smoke”....forever confused TT__TT)

It does make me a bit....hesitant....to track down the BBC commentary for this show. I usually love watching it that way, and it’s my preferred way to rewatch Eurovisions. And usually, Graham is a really good sport about the UK’s poor results (even when coming in last like 2010), but....how’d he handle a nul? XD I hope he didn’t overly praise the song....

So......yeah, that’s about it! I’ve missed rambling about Eurovision, and now.....it’s over! It was a good year, and I had a great time. It truly was a ride. Here’s hoping next year in Italy will be just as fun.

Until next year!

[remijaecrowley]

Feed the Hunger

Just a short fic of our favorite bumbling boys and one trickster of a succubus Bard. Song lyrics from “Animal” covered by Chase Holfelder. Listen to it and imagine it being sung in that style by a female and you got my succubus. XD

Geralt grumbled as he had to push his way through the crowded tavern, that Jaskier had BEGGED him to bring him to, to reach the bar, tossing down a few coins and holding up two fingers to the Barkeep for two pints of ale. The barkeep nodded when he saw the Witcher, quickly sliding two large pints to Geralt before scooping the coins off the bar and dropping them in his apron pocket.

Geralt nodded in thanks before turning and muscling his way through the crowd again, holding the mugs high above the heads of the humans that had packed the small tavern house. He didn't get what was so impressive to have this many humans gather for a bard, but he knew his own Bard was thrumming with excitement over getting to hear this particular Trobairitz. The Witcher had to listen to the Bard's excited babbling all the way to Toussaint. While he loved his little songbird, sometimes, he had to fight the urge to strangle the Bard just for a moment of peace and quiet when Jaskier got wound up over something.

The Witcher made his way through the crowd to his Bard, who had taken up residence at a small table as close to the stage as he could get. Geralt watched Jaskier for a moment, before the bard noticed his Witcher was watching him. The Bard's nervous, excited energy made the bard seem to vibrate in his seat. The Witcher rolled his eyes as he slammed a mug in front of the Bard on the table, causing Jaskier to jump, letting out a very undignified squeak.

"Fuck! Geralt! Stop startling me like that, you big burly bastard! Had me thinking one of the locals was trying to take our seats for a second there...and I will fight anyone who tries it....well, more likely yell loudly til they either give up or you come and scruff them." The bard harrumphed at first, though ending his conniption with a grin that made the Witcher roll his eyes again. Geralt hmmm'ed at the Bard as he settled himself in his chair, not liking being so out in the open, much preferring to be in a corner of the room with two sides guarded by walls, so as to make being on guard easier. He definitely did NOT like having his back to the crowd, so the only table he and the Bard could finally agree on where the Bard would have a good view and the Witcher felt it was a bit easier to defend was off to the left of the stage, Geralt able to set his back to a column at least.

Jaskier took a long sip off his Ale, leaning over toward Geralt to murmur," The show should be starting soon. I wonder what this new bard's schtick is? We all have one. Mine is singing songs of the adventures of the White Wolf..."the bard grinning at Geralt, "Others do dancing or whatever. For this bard to be THIS popular, they must have one hell of a...." the Bard's words trailing off as the crowd around them started to cheer as a woman stepped out on the stage.

Both men had seen some surreal beauties in their travels, but this woman even made the magically enhanced beauty of Yennefer pale ever so slightly. Skin that gleamed as if dusted with honey powder, hair that hung to her waist that shone like the darkest rubies, and eyes....well, the eyes were what struck Jaskier hard, having him elbowing the Witcher sharply and his whispered, "Her eyes, Geralt! Her eyes....they are like yours!"

Geralt grunted at the elbow, giving the Bard a glare that would make lesser men quail in fear. All Jaskier did was roll his eyes and whisper, "Yes, yes, scary face. I KNOW, Giralt."

The Songstress laughed softly at the cheering, her laughter like crystal bells ringing through the room. She bowed to her audience and grinned playfully. "Good eve, my darlings! Thank you all for coming to my modest concert. I am your humble Bard, Ilana. May my songs be found pleasing and your hearts...and coin purses, opened!" The crowd chuckled at her comment about coin purses as she nodded to her musicians to start playing. Soon, her voice rang out, weaving a spell over the patrons of happiness and joy as she sang of epic battles won, lovers united, and destiny. The crowd had quieted down as she started singing, unlike when Jaskier would do his little impromptu shows while he and the Witcher were on the road. Jaskier felt a little jealous, but at the same time, he couldn't truly be jealous. He felt too happy to feel jealousy at the moment and he was enjoying this feeling.

Geralt, on the other hand, was frowning. The only frown in the packed tavern and he was frowning because his medallion was vibrating against his chest. The Songstress took note, a small smirk playing on her lips as she finished a song, the crowd cheering happily. She held up a hand to ask for quiet and the audience settled down for her as she spoke,"I see we have a hero in our midst, my darlings. The famed Geralt of Rivia, the White Wolf Witcher is here. I think it would be a perfect time for me to sing one of my new songs, in honor of our hero, don't you think?"

The crowd cheered louder at the idea and Geralt's eyes narrowed, a low growl escaped him as he went to make a grab for Jaskier. The fact his medallion was dancing a jig against his chest meant to Songstress wasn't human and was something that could use it's voice to control people.  A siren, or maybe a succubus of some sort, though he wasn't sure and the fact he wasn't sure made him feel uneasy. He wanted to get Jaskier and himself out of there NOW, before she started to sing again.

He tried to make a grab for the bard, but found himself unable to move. a thunderous look crossed the Witcher's face as he struggled to move, but he felt pinned to the seat, the golden cat eyes of the Songstress were on him, as if she was pinning him with her very gaze. He grunted, trying to move, only managing a fidget in his seat. Jaskier was so enraptured with the Songstress, he wasn't even noticing that his friend was trying to get his attention.

The Musicians started playing the next tune , the music soft and slow as Ilana opened her mouth and the first dulcet words dripped from her lips.

Here we go again I kinda wanna be more than friends So take it easy on me I'm afraid you're never satisfied....

The words wiggle into the Witcher's mind, trying to strip him of his years of honed willpower. The words tickled at the thoughts he'd been supressing for a long while now. He couldn't give into those feelings. If he did.....if he did, Jaskier would be hurt possibly and that thought made a feeling he didn't feel very often rear up. Fear.

Ilana kept singing while the Witcher glared at her, a smirk pulling at her lips as she knew her spell was worming it's way into the Witcher, despite his years of training and his mutations, even a Witcher had a hard time fighting a succubus who sang as sweetly as a siren.

Oh, oh I want some more Oh, oh What are you waitin' for? Take a bite of my heart tonight Oh, oh I want some more Oh, oh What are you waitin' for? What are you waitin' for? Say goodbye to my heart tonight

Jaskier glances at Geralt, finally noticing the Witcher hadn't grunted or moved in a bit, noticing now that the Witcher was in a locked eye match with the Songstress singing, as if she was serenading the Witcher. OF COURSE. She wanted a piece of Geralt, but then, he was a terribly handsome man so Jaskier couldn't blame her. At the same time though, a spark of jealously flickered in the Bard's heart as his gaze moved from Witcher to Singer and back again.

The music takes on a stronger beat, more insistent as Ilana sings, her body swaying to the rhythm on her song, her golden eyes never leaving the Witcher's face, the smirk on her lips as she sang growing wider as she saw the Witcher's eyes start to glaze over. Good....her spell was working and soon he would give into his desires, which was exactly what she wanted. She wanted him to pounce, maul, devour the one he desired, to release all that tasty, tasty repressed and pent up energy in him. She didn't understand why he would deny himself something he desired, something that would bring him pleasure, but then, her skill set was perfect for this. Tempt, tease, bring her prey to the point of begging for it, then releasing them on their heart's desire, feeding off the energy as the lust was consummated.

Here we are again I feel the chemicals kickin' in It's gettin' heavier I wanna run and hide I wanna run and hide....

Oh, she knew the Witcher wanted to escape. She could feel him resisting. The more they resist, the more delicious the final result. She poured all her power into her words, knowing it would leak over to the rest of the audience and....yeah, there might be a few affairs this evening, or a few new surprise babies to be had, but she wanted to feed off the Witcher. She would make him submit to his desires. She hadn't lost a battle of wills like this before and she didn't plan on it tonight.

.......And I won't be denied by you The animal inside of you!

Jaskier actually growled a little himself at the lyrics, realizing they were aimed at his Witcher and that spark of jealousy was slowly being fanned into a flame. First he had to deal with Yennefer's claim on Geralt and now this...this...this singing hussy was trying to seduce Geralt in front of the whole damn audience with him sitting right next to the Witcher! Though....he had to admit, the words made him a bit tingly...thinking of Geralt...wanting to be more than just his best friend. He'd wanted to be more pretty much since day bloody one with the blasted dense man, but Geralt always kept him at arms length.....unless he was injured, or it was cold, or he needed to shake some sense into the Bard.

The tune dipped low and quiet again as Ilana sang, her voice nearly heart breakingly sweet.

Hush, hush, the world is quiet Hush, hush we both can't fight it It's us that made this mess Why can't you understand? Oh, I won't sleep tonight...

Geralt's eyes shifted from Ilana to the bard next to him. The words echoing through his thoughts, "Hush, hush, we both can't fight it...." Why HAD he been fighting something that he wanted so much that just looking at the bard made his loin ache and his chest tighten? Why was he denying something that they both obviously wanted, just that Geralt was being a stubborn bastard and not wanting to have someone else feeling bound to him. He knew if he gave into this...this want, this longing for the Bard that he had been fighting, Jaskier would be bound to him as tightly if not more so than Yennefer was. That thought terrified the Witcher. He didn't want to bind the human to him but if he gave into his hunger, his desire, he wouldn't let Jaskier go ever again.

The music grows louder, faster, as Ilana's voice rings out, her arms extended out, hands grasping out to the audience, towards Geralt, her words burrowing into the Witcher, making that iron will crack under the assault of her power, her demand that he give into his desires, that he give into her command to give himself over, to be free.

Oh, oh, I want some more Oh, oh, What are you fighting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight. Oh, oh, I want some more! Oh, oh, What are you fighting for! What are you fighting for?

The songstress' eyes slid shut as she felt it. She felt that iron will snap under the demand of "What are you waiting for? What are you fighting for?", a devilish grin stretched across her lips as her golden eyes fell on the Witcher, watching him launch himself up from his chair finally as the audience around him cheered for the song. A smug look graced the singer's face as she watched the Witcher grab his Bard next to him and yank him to his feet. Ohho! This was not what she was expecting at all! The smug look grew into a huge grin as she watched the Witcher manhandle his Bard out of the stage area and muscle him up the stairs.

Ilana took in a deep, deep breath, the grin on her face wouldn't go away now. She could feel the energy flowing over the inn/tavern in thick waves. She was suddenly glad humans couldn't sense lust, desire, and love like she could. There might have been an all out orgy at that point with the energy coming from the room somewhere upstairs where a Witcher finally gave into his heart's desire and his Bard was thinking it was about fucking time!

[gojira007]

Movie Meme

Took me a bit of time, but I was tagged by @bunnikkila to list my nine favorite movies, and since I can’t help but be ridiculously verbose about that very topic, you can see them all under the cut 8D

As for who I tag?  Well, as always with the caveat that you are free to ignore if you don’t wanna, I’ll go with: @elistodragonwings @kaikaku @donnys-boy @robotnik-mun @sally-mun @fini-mun @werewolf-t33th  @cviperfan and @wildwoodmage​

and don’t worry, if you DO go for it, you don’t have to get as Extra as I did about it XD

9.) 

Look, the meme is about Favorite Movies, not necessarily the BEST Movies, OK?  And for the most part this list consists of films where that division is less meaningful in terms of how I evaluate the other movies on here.  But in this specific case, “Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie”, which is ultimately not all that different from the “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ TV show it spun off from and thus not particularly impressive as a work of Cinema Qua Cinema, makes the cut primarily because it’s a movie I know so well and have enjoyed so often that I can practically recite the whole thing to you by rote; I quote it all the time in my day-to-day life, I think about it often when I need a little smile, and it’s also become my favorite tool for introducing newcomers to MST3K as a whole since it was designed with a slightly broader audience in mind than the more willfully-eclectic series.  And given how much I love MST3K As A Whole, that’s an especially strong factor in its favor.

8.) 

Looky looky, @bunnikkila, we (unsurprisingly) have a pick in common!  I’m sure this is the one and only time THAT’S going to happen on this list. 8D

Y’know, nearly thirty years (and one fairly useless remake >_>) later, I think the thing that impresses me about “The Lion King” is just how much it is still able to grab me emotionally.  Some of that is unquestionably tied up with how strongly I associate this movie with my family, all of whom it became very special to as a Shared Experience.  But I also don’t know of a lot of people who haven’t had that same emotional experience with it, and that to me suggests there’s more going on here than just Nostalgia.  The mixture of Shakesperean plotting with Disney’s signature strength of Character, for one thing, granting the movie’s story an Epic Scope that never forgets the emotional inner lives of its cast.  The music for another, not only its instantly-iconic song-book but also its memorable score, armed with both Big Bombast and Gentle Sentiment.  And the unforgettably gorgeous animation, rendering every last element of its world with believable naturalism and strongly-defined personality.  All of it, together, makes for what I still personally consider the Crowning Achievement of the Disney Renaissance.

7.)

I think, if I had to name the thing I find most lacking in far too many modern Action Movies, it’s Clarity.  They all tend to lard their plots up with a bunch of unnecessary contrivances and complications in hopes of making themselves appear more clever than they actually are, and all it usually does is just dilute the impact of the whole thing.  “Mad Max: Fury Road”, by contrast, is all about Clarity.  I could sum up literally its entire plot in a paragraph if I wanted, because it is basically One Big Chase Scene from start to finish, never really deviating from that structure for more than a few minutes at a time.  And that, combined with its exceptionally well-crafted Action Sequences, means that the full weight of its visceral power hits you full force every time.  But don’t be fooled; that simplicity is not to be mistaken for shallowness.  Indeed, precisely by getting out of its own way, knowing exactly what it wants to do and why, “Fury Road” also delivers a story that is, in spite of what you might guess, genuinely subtle and smart.  Every character is immediately unforgettable and compelling because their role in the story is so well-considered and their personalities all so stark.  The world it crafts feels at once fascinatingly surreal and yet All Too Real at the same time because even its most Fantastic elements are ultimately just grotesque reflections of things the audience knows only too well.  And most of all, it tells a story with real, meaningful Themes that are deeply woven into each of its individual elements, such that the whole thing is deeply satisfying emotionally, but also piercingly Relevant in all the best, most affecting ways.

6.) 

Oh look, another pick I have in common with @bunnikkila!  This must be the last one, right?

But yeah, this is just a legitimately great movie, at every level, in every way.  Stylistically, it is one of the most radically inventive things to have ever been made in the world of Western Animated Movies, gleefully mixing together a vast array of Aesthetics and Techniques that are at once viscerally distinct and yet coherently connected, all rendered with a fantastic eye toward the world of Comic Book Visual Language that keeps finding new and extremely fun ways to play with that instantly-recognizable iconography.  For that alone, I would call it one of the greatest triumphs of 21st century animation.  But then, on top of that, the story it tells is one that is simultaneously Arch and self-aware, delivering some of the most fantastically hilarious punch-lines imaginable more than a few of which are at the expense of the very franchise it is working within...but also entirely earnest, sincere, and emotionally affecting.  It is, at once, a movie that manages to be about The Idea Of Spider-Man in its totality while also being about just one kid coming to grips with who he is, what he can do, and what his life can be.  I don’t know that I can remember the last time a movie so immediately and unmistakably marked itself as an Enduring Masterpiece, but “Into the Spider-Verse” absolutely pulled it off.

5.)

Ordinarily, I would cheat and give this slot to the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy in its totality.  But somehow, the fact that this is about “FAVORITE” movies instead of just what we think the BEST one is compels me to narrow it down to just one.  And if I had to pick just one, it would be the first of the three, “Fellowship of the Ring”.  It’s not necessarily anything that the other two movies get wrong, either.  All three of the LotR movies possess many of its keenest strengths, after all.  For a starter, there’s the keen understanding of how best to adapt the source material without being enslaved to it; capturing many of its most iconic moments while cleverly tweaking elements to make them more cinematic, knowing what scenes to focus on for the sake of more clearly focusing the emotional through-lines of the story, and knowing what scenes, no matter how good on the page, ultimately don’t fit to the shape the adaptation has taken.  There’s also its pitch-perfect casting, each and every actor doing a fantastic job of embodying the characters so well that even as your personal vision of them from the books may differ radically from what is on-screen, they nonetheless end up feeling Right for the part and a strong, compelling presence.  And there’s the deft visual hand of director Peter Jackson, who knows exactly how to craft a Middle Earth that feels at once lived-in and real but also Fantastic and magical.  “Fellowship”, for me at least, thus wins out mostly because it has the good luck of being adapted from the strongest of the three books, the point at which the narrative is at its most unified and thus has the strongest overall momentum.  But also because so few movies have so swept me away with the sense of stepping into a world I have always dreamed of in my mind’s eye, and that’s the sort of thing that can only happen at the beginning of a journey.

4.) 

Now here’s a movie that is literally sown in to my very being.  It’s the last movie my mother saw in theaters before becoming a Mom.  I grew up watching the “Real Ghostbusters” cartoon all the time and playing with the attendant toys; I had a “Ghostbusters” Birthday Party when I was, like, four years old.  It has been my annual Halloween Tradition to get myself a big Cheese Pizza and watch this movie for about as long as I’ve had disposable income to myself.  There is, quite literally, no point in my life where I don’t remember “Ghostbusters” being a fixture in it.  And as a nice bonus?  It is, legitimately, a Genuinely Great Movie.  I realize that isn’t quite as universally agreed upon these days as it was even a few years ago (thanks, Literally The Worst Kind Of Virulently Misogynist Assholes lD; ), but I still feel pretty confident in saying this one really is That Good.  I still find basically every one of its jokes hilarious; even now I could quote just about any one of them and get a laugh.  I still find its central premise, What If Exorcism Was A Blue-Collar Business, a brilliant, almost subversively clever one that takes The Supernatural out of the realm of The Unknowable and into a world where even you, an ordinary person off the street, can in fact fight back against it.  I still think it’s one of the all-time great examples of how to balance Tone in this sort of High Concept Genre Bender, by allowing The Story to be played relatively straight while allowing the comedy to flow naturally from the characters’ reactions to that story, allowing its Ghostly aspects to land as Genuinely Scary (or at least Worth Taking Seriously) without getting too Stern and Serious about it.  And I still listen to that unforgettable Title Song all the time!  So yeah, even if I could be more objective about it, “Ghostbusters” would almost certainly make this cut.      

3.) 

And so we come to the third and last pick I have in common with @bunnikkila, not coincidentally a movie that played a key role in solidifying our friendship, as bonding over our shared love of it was a big part of how we got to know each other on deviantART waaaay back in the day <3

By 2008, I really didn’t think it was possible for a movie or comic or TV show to really become “part” of me anymore, the way things like Sonic the Hedgehog or Marvel Super Heroes or Some Other Movie Character Who Might Be At The Top Of This List had.  And then “WALL-E” came along and proved that to be completely, utterly wrong.  I didn’t just love this movie, I was inspired by it, to a degree of strength and consistency that I’m still not entirely sure has yet been matched.  And to be sure, some of that is undoubtedly because the movie had already basically won the war before I’d even bought my ticket; Adorable Robots In Love is something like My Platonic Storytelling Ideal, after all.  But even setting that aside, “WALL-E” is a movie where even now I can’t help but be keenly aware, and gently awed, at the beauty of its craft; indeed, watching this movie in a theater did a lot to make me better understand why movies work on us the way they do, because I left that theater chewing so much on every last one of its elements.  Its gorgeous animation, the way it conveys Character through Actions more so than language, the dream-like quality of its musical score (even as i type this i get teary thinking about certain motifs), the clear and meaningful way it builds its theme and story together so harmoniously, and the particular perspective it takes on our relationships with each other, with our environments, and with our own technology...all of it speaks to me deeply and profoundly, and it’s no coincidence that I have seen this movie more times in theaters than any other on this list (twelve times, for the record, and I still remember each and every time XD).

2.) 

This one needs no personal qualifications, to my mind.  Yes, I have some degree of nostalgic attachment to it for having seen it relatively young with my brothers and being deeply moved by it then, but it’s not at all like the kind of Nostalgia I have for “The Lion King”.  “Princess Mononoke” is just flat-out, full-stop a complete Masterpiece, not just my personal pick for one of the single-best animated films ever made, but one of the best films period.  It’s almost difficult for me to put into words how great this movie is, certainly in a way that hasn’t been repeated to death by thousands of other smarter people, because no one of its elements quite answers the question of why it is so great, to my mind.  Yes, the animation is absolutely gorgeous with a design sensibility that brings Ancient Mythology to life so vividly that its influence can still be felt today (The Forest Spirit alone has been homaged all over the place).  And yes, the music is hauntingly beautiful, at once capturing the gentle rhythm of nature but also the elegiac tone of Life Moving On.  And yes, the story is an incredible mixture of the Broad Mythic Strokes of an Ancient Legend grounded in all too human Emotions and Ideas about the balance of nature, the full meaning and cost of Warfare, and perhaps most important of all, about how we determine Right and Wrong when everyone involved in a conflict is fighting simply for the right to survive.  But all of those things add up together to something even greater than a simple sum, because each one isn’t just good in its own right but because each element so perfectly reinforces the other.  And even having said all that?  I really could just carry on singing this movie’s praises.  Just...an absolute masterpiece, top to bottom.

1.) 

I don’t imagine any of you are terribly surprised at this, right?  I almost feel like it’d be redundant to explain my love for this movie, given how self-obvious I imagine it is to basically everyone who knows me Literally At All.  But heck, I’ve rambled on this long, why not go all the way?  Because the thing of it is, “Gojira” (to be clear, the original Japanese movie from 1954 rather than its American edit, “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” from 1956) doesn’t just top the list by being a Great Movie.  Though to be clear, it really is.  Flawless?  No; there’s a reliance on puppetry that even for the time can be a bit chintzier than the movie can really afford, in particular.  But brilliant, even so, a heart-wrenching example of Science Fiction Storytelling As Allegory, one that, in a rarity not just for its own genre but indeed for many movies in general, very meaningfully lingers on its deepest, darkest implications.  Many a film critic has pointed it out, and it remains true: the stark black-and-white photography heightens the sense of Implacable Horror at the core of the story, and the way the central Melodrama, a tragic love triangle that carries with it many aspects of Class Conflict and Personal Desire VS. The Collective Good, ties back into the main story is truly beautiful in its elegance and emotional impact.  Still, for me personally, it tops the list, now and always, because it is a movie that affirmed something for me, that the character I had fallen in love with as a child convincing his family to watch a monster movie with him on television to prove his seven-year-old bravery, really was as genuinely as powerful and meaningful a figure as I had always imagined him to be. 

[sergeant-donny-donowitz]

The Night the War Ended

Donny Donowitz x Fem!Reader/ Postwar AU :)

Requested by @asconfusedasonecanbe

sorry it's kind of long, I got a little carried away with it xD

@war-obsessed, @owba-chan

Let me know if you guys wannabe tagged in these! <3

France, 1945

"DONNY LET'S GO."

Donny pulled his arm away from Omar's hand as he set off one last round, the fire beginning to devour the nazis. 

"DONNY."

Donny turned around and faced Omar, "What?!"

Omar patted Donny on the chest once, over his pocket. The pocket he'd been keeping a ring in for a year. "What about y/n?!"

Donny stopped frowning. He  looked back at the nazis, and the fire that had trapped them. He looked into Hitler's unrecognizable face, then back at Omar, who had untied his explosives. “For Y/n, Donny...”

Donny nodded once, and followed suit.

The two basterds made it out, and were halfway across the street when the cinema collapsed under hell’s fire. 

Omar turned to Donny, "We did it...it's over!" Omar couldn't have been happier.  Despite being one of the younger basterds, he had a wife back in New Jersey, and he couldn't get over the fact that he'd just had a hand in ending the war. 

Still, Omar's word's were distant. The fire was surreal. It seemed like a lie, but Donny somehow felt empty. 

He'd dedicated the last few years of his life to the war, to the basterds, to this...

 He never thought he'd survive. 

But if he did, he couldn't survive without you. 

It was all he could think of while the Basterds celebrated in the streets with the rest of France that night. It was all he could think of every time he saw you looking up with your smiling eyes. 

It unsettled him to think of going back to the same ordinary life he had before the war. There would be congressional medals and interviews, and gawking crowds, no doubt...but when it was all over, when it was all said and done, he'd go back to Boston, and back to work in his father's barber shop. All the basterds, like every other soldier, were expected to just pick up where they left off...

As much as he'd missed home, it wouldn't be the same without Hugo's glares, Wicki's advice, Aldo's stories, Utivich's backtalking, or Omar's snoring. It wouldn't be the same without you by his side, watching his back, and being his saving grace. 

That had been home for so long.

Come sunrise, you'd all be split up. Most of the basterds lived somewhere on the east coast, it wasn't too hard to get most of them together, but a reunion just wasn't the same.

And...Donny kept remembering Omar's question, 'What about y/n?'

What about you?

You were from the West Coast. 

The Bay Area was a long way from Boston... You wouldn't make it to most of the basterds' reunions...

He couldn't imagine a morning without seeing your eyes. He couldn't imagine a night without hearing you say "G'night, sarge,' and seeing your playful wink.

As he watched you cheer and laugh with the others, he wondered why he couldn't feel like that...

Then Omar caught his eyes. 

Donny raised his eyebrows in apprehension, but then looked back at you. He couldn't lose you. Once you went home, things would change forever. 

He walked right up to you, and blurted it out. He'd thought about it. He'd thought about it for longer than he'd care to admit, but it didn't quite come out as he expected. He'd thought about it from the moment he met you...He never thought he'd actually make it out of the war. Especially not after his assignment to Operation Kino. 

He got a little embarrassed every time he remembered how he proposed. He was still covered in blood and ashes, smelled like smoke and champagne, still not clear-headed, but barely drunk. He looked at you, the words didn't come out the way he always hoped they would, but....they did get the job done. "You wanna get married?"

The moment the words slipped through his lips, he felt like an idiot...

But, you smiled, and kissed him. He may have been an idiot, but he was your idiot, and he was the happiest basterd in the world. At that moment, he didn't think he could be any happier.

But, things didn't get easier. The war ended for everyone on that street that night, but in his mind it didn't. You were his wife, living in his hometown, everything was almost a dream. But sometimes, his hands felt empy without the bat. Sometimes he got suspicious when he woke up in the middle of the night, and it was too quiet. Sometimes he got nervous, expecting to hear boots marching, or B-17s flying overhead, or nazis whispering in the trees in the yard by the window. 

The only thing that helped him sleep was remembering you were by his side. He was at ease when he held on to you...

'At ease....' Sometimes he could still hear Aldo's voice running through his mind. Donny would realize he was standing at attention, his hands behind his back, waiting...

 He'd have to blink a few times, and remember he was standing in his livingroom, where it was safe and warm. He'd only relax when you planted a kiss on his cheek...

"Donny?"

He'd been staring out the window again. 

He blinked "Yeah?"

“Donny.”

He turned to you, “Sorry, doll...”

You smiled a little, and rested the palm of your hand against his cheek. "It's ok, Donny..." He smiled back a little, and felt calm.

"What's going on, doll?"

You smirked a little as you slipped into his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck, "Well, just between you and me, sarge..."

Donny smirked... It always drove him crazy when you called him that. Even in the actual war... and you knew it. 

He gruffly held you by your hips, which you realized might not be the best time for it. You rested your hands over his, "Don, wait..."

He quickly pulled his hands away. Donny was usually more on the rough side, but he was always careful to never actually hurt you. He'd never forgive himself. "Doll-"

"No, no, it's ok, it's just that..." You trailed off, wondering how to break the news to Donny. 

"Somethings' wrong..." Donny was afraid. He knew things were too good to be true. After all, he had you...

You shook your head, "Nothing's wrong, Don, don't worry..."

"You're driving me crazy doll, what the fuck's going on?"

"Well..." You smiled softly at him as you pulled his hands over your belly, and rested yours over his, "Just between you and me....soon it won't just be you and me."

Donny froze for a second, trying to figure out if he heard and understood that right. He looked at you, and realized he did. He smiled. He hadn't smiled like that in a long time. "A baby?! We're having a baby?!"

You nodded and he kissed you, and picked you up. Donny didn’t think he could have loved you more than he already did, but he was wrong.

A few months went by.

The Basterds were all together, and visiting you and Donny. You were celebrating the second anniversary of the war's end.

Normally, you would all meet in New York because half of the basterds were from New York, Connecticut, or New Jerseey...but...you were due soon, and although you wanted more than anything to go, Donny didn't want to risk a thing. 

So the basterds decided to come to you.

It was almost perfect...

By about five o'clock, you ran out of ice. Donny left for few minutes. Seventeen to be exact. It was a five minute walk there. It took seven minutes to get the clerk to shut  up. It took another five minutes to walk back. 

When he did get back, everyone was gone...some of the glasses were turned over. Hugo was there. 

He was... smiling? 

Donny didn't doubt that Hugo snapped. The basterds always joked about that whenever he smiled. 

"Hugo...where is everyone?"

"Let's go, Donny."

"Go... What? Where?!"

Hugo rolled his eyes, "With everybody else."

"Ok....but where is everyone?!"

"With y/n"

"Where's Y/n?!"

Hugo smiled and remained silent. 

"Hugo. I'm gonna ask you this one more time. Where is my wife?!"

"Having your baby."

"WHAT?!"

Hugo chuckled, "Calm down, they're already on their way to the hospital."

"HUGO. I NEED TO BE THERE."

"Stay calm."

"I AM FUCKING CALM. YOU  STAY CALM."

"I don't look calm to you?" Hugo chuckled a little as he patted Donny on the back, "Don't worry, Donny. Hirschberg's driving. Utivich is in the back with her and Wicki. Omar and Aldo somehow fit with them."

Donny calmed down a little, knowing Utivich was your best friend, and tended to be able to keep you calm....then he realized Hugo said Hirschberg was driving. 

"HIRSCHBERG?! YOU LET FUCKING HIRSCHBERG DRIVE MY PREGNANT WIFE TO THE HOSPITAL?!"

"Ja...." Hugo slowed down....realizing the mistake.... Hirschberg was a little hotheaded when it came to driving. He once ran over seven nazis in a stolen vehicle because Aldo told him to 'hurry up.' He could only imagine how stressed he was with everything that was going on in that car. 

Donny dropped his keys and started running down the street. He was cutting through the streets and alleys, followed by Hugo. 

Hugo had never seen Donny run so fast in all the time he'd known him. At one point, he lost sight of Donny and had to ask for directions to the hospital. By the time he arrived, he followed the familiar sound of the basterds' voices,  and  there was a mob of nurses threatening to either sedate Donny or call the police on him if he didn't sit down. 

Donny gave up. His status as a war hero didn't matter. He sat by all the other worried, anxious fathers scattered around the waiting room. He rested his forehead in his hands as his legs shook anxiously. He was there when they pulled a bullet out of your hip. You were there to pull him out of the fire. He wanted to be there when you needed him most...

"At ease, soldier, at ease." Aldo chuckled as he sat by Donny.

Donny smiled a little as he turned to Aldo. He stopped shaking his leg. 

Aldo smiled a little. He had a little one running around back in Tennessee, just over a year old. The basterds often joked Aldo didn't waste much time. "You know, it's normal. I was the same way." A doctor came out, and they all held their breath. 

"Val Vega?" One of the other men in the waiting room rushed out, Aldo chuckled seeing Donny slump down and sigh in exasperation, "How long's it take Aldo?"

"Weellll...." He cracked his knuckles, "Sometimes an hour or two, my honey done took damn near a day." He smiled in nostalgia, and took out a small folded photograph of him and his daughter. "You know, everything changes when you get a little one running around."

"Change?"

Aldo nodded, and Donny noticed the love in his eyes as he focused on the small picture, "You forget about everything else the moment you look at that child... That baby so tiny, you gon' be scared of it. You gon' be scared of all the things that could ever go wrong, and you gon' be scared of all the things you could, and will do wrong...but you ain't ever gon' hurt that little 'un, and you ain't ever gon' let nothin' happen to it."

"But-"

"Donny, I know you. I know you took care of 'em boys back in France. I know how you took care of Y/n the moment you laid eyes on her. I know you ain't gon' let nothin' happen to that child."

Donny looked down at his hands. For years all he'd done was kill nazis. Aldo knew what was going through his head. 

He was in that same place not too long ago... 

"Now, look here Donowitz, you made one helluva soldier, one goddamn basterd of a sergeant. You paid off your debit. You took over one hundred nazi scalps. But this is a whole other ballgame, son. You always gon' protect y/n, though between you and me, she ain't need much help...aside from that, you gon' be protective of one life, and one life only." Aldo chuckled, "Well.. till you get another one on the way."

Donny smiled a little, wondering what that perfect life would be like...

Aldo smiled and sighed, "Point is, Donny, you did your due. You pulled your weight. It's time for you to let go of that. We all had to." 

Donny looked around at all the basterds. They were pacing around, joking, and smoking together. Sometimes it threw him off to see them all without their boots and knives, and a scalp or two around their belts. 

It was odd seeing Hugo in a sweater and a smile, and not undercover with a scowl. It was odd to see Utivich in a clean button up without a drop of blood. It just seemed so surreal. 

He wasn't complaining...

He smiled a little, as Aldo went on, "You got yourself one fine life here, Donny. You just gotta live it. Here, and now."

Donny nodded, as he rested his elbow on his knees, and clasped his hands together, and laid his chin over his knuckles. He mumbled, "Here, and now," desparately glancing at the clock.

He almost didn't realize that it was over. All the basterds crowded around him, smiling and cheering him on. His knees were a little shakey when he stood up. 

"Donovan Donowitz?"

Donny muttered something under his breath, then nodded, "Yeah that's me..."

"Congratulations, Mr. Donowitz, it’s a boy!"

Donny's heart skipped a beat, his jaw dropped, and he turned to his brothers in arms, "It'S a bOY!!! ITS A BOY! YA HEAR THAT?!"

After the cheering died down, Hugo planted something in Donny's hand. 

It was a baseball. 

It had all the basterds' signatures on it, and it was tied in a bow. 

Omar smirked, "For the kid, not you."

Donny smiled softly, and put in his pocket. "Thanks fellas....I...I gotta.."

Utivich was impatient. He knew that as uncles, they were next in line to see you and the baby... He pushed Donny, "You gotta go."

Donny nodded, "I gotta go see Y/n!" He pushed past the basterds, the doctors, and the mob of nurses finally disassembled, and let him through.

He flung the door open, and his heart stopped the moment he laid eyes on you...

He had never seen you so tired, so worn down, and so beautiful. He saw a blue bundle in your arms...

"Y/n..."

You looked up at Donny, as you gently rocked the baby, and smiled, "Hey there..." You held up the baby's hand, as if he were waving to Donny. 

Donny staggered slowly to you.

He pulled hair away from your face, and gasped and spoke softly when he laid eyes on his son for the first time... "Holy shit, Y/n..."

"Donny! Sh...you can't say that in front of him..."

Donny clenched his teeth, "Shit! Sorry! Fuck.....Dammn it! I mean..."

You giggled a little, though it hurt, Donny never failed to bring a smile to your face, "Ok...I think you get an A for effort."

Donny reached for a tissue, and patted away some sweat from your face, "You feel ok, doll? You need anything? Anything hurt? You want me to-"

You shook your head as you looked down at your son, "I'm ok, Donny. Everything's ok. He's ok. More than ok!" 

You looked at him in the eyes, and for the first time in a long time, he looked at ease. 

Really.

In Donny's eyes, he saw more than the love of his life, and his baby. He saw more than the family and life he always wanted. He saw what he fought for. 

You didn't have to say goodbye to each other every morning and fight nazis. That stopped two years before. He didn't have to fight back adrenaline and fear to see another day. He didn't have to fight the urge to stay awake from sunset to sunrise to survive. All that ended two years before.

Donny didn't have to fight for anything except for his family. 

"Do you want to hold him?"

Donny looked up at you, hesitant for a moment as he once again looked down at his hands. 

You rested one hand over his, and whispered, "It's ok, Don. You're his pop...you and I are the last ones on eath to ever let anything happen to him. It's ok."

Donny smiled a little as he took his baby in his arms, careful to hold up the head. He laughed a little, out of sheer happiness, "Hey, kid..." 

It was as if a blind fold was ripped from his eyes. He had everything. He had nothing to be afraid of. He was Donny Donowitz. You were his world. His son was his sky. No one would take that from him. 

Not even an army could. 

He smiled, his shoulders relaxed as he sat back, cooing at his son, and trying to convince you that naming him after "Teddy fucking Williams," was a great idea. 

That night, the war was finally over in Donny’s eyes. 

Donny could rest now...

Until 3AM, when Lee got hungry. (You won the name argument.) Other than that, you and Lee were the reason Donny's war finally ended.

Four years later, on Lee's birthday, and on the sixth anniversary of Operation Kino's success, the basterds were all together again, this time by Aldo's cabin up in the Smoky Mountains.

Donny held on to his new baby, his four month old daughter, Bridget with his left hand, and wrapped his right arm around you, as Lee played with Aldo, Hugo, and Omar's kids.

The day before he met you, Donny never expected to love anything more than killing nazis, and his bloody bat.

The night he met you, he never wanted anything more than to end the war with you by his side.

When he got what he wanted, he somehow felt empty...but seeing his family, the brothers he never had, and the love he'd never lose finally living at peace in the world he fought to save, Donny realized he had what he never imagined. He was happier than he'd ever been in his life.

As he rocked his daughter to sleep, he kissed you on the lips. He owed his life, his freedom, and his happiness all to you... He may have repaid his debt to Aldo, but he'd always owe his love and his world to you. As Lee laughed and ran around, and the basterds laughed around a fire like the old days, Donny smiled. He kissed you on the cheek, and sighed in relief as he took it all in.

Donny knew this was it.  

He had all the people that mattered by his side, and a life that he fought so hard to protect. Donny smiled, knowing that it would never feel empty again.

[eleonora-casarin]

Commento di un giovane campagnolo/ a young farm boy's comment

🇮🇹

È una situazione quasi surreale.

Il caldo insolito e il fatto di essere quasi sempre a casa fanno credere al mio corpo che è già estate. Non avete idea di quante volte io abbia già involontariamente pensato al mare!

Le mie giornate sono come tanti quadri fatti con solo tre colori: il blu delle videochiamate (con scuola e altri attivisti XR), il verde del lavoro sui campi e dello smercio di verdura, il giallo delle scampagnate fatte in giro per i nostri ettari di campo e alberi.

In particolare, il nostro lavoro familiare (vivo in un’azienda agricola) è lievitato: la gente non si fida più di andare nei supermercati, preferisce chiedere la nostra merce anche se è più cara.

Dopotutto, però, frutta, uova e verdure bio e consegnate direttamente a casa sembrano valere molto oggi.

La richiesta è quintuplicata: in una settimana vendiamo quello che vendevamo in un mese. Abbiamo quasi finito anche le scorte, senza le reti agricole da cui ora compriamo dovremmo presto scegliere a chi vendere e a chi no.

Mio papà è preoccupato, dice che anche le reti stanno finendo le scorte. I migranti regolari, quelli che nelle grandi aziende forniscono la manodopera necessaria e in inverno tornano in aereo a casa, quest’anno sono rimasti nei loro Paesi perché vogliono evitare di venire contagiati e morire lontano dalla famiglia.

Poi sorride, dicendo che forse in futuro potremmo permetterci di aumentare i prezzi; dopotutto, “a fare i contadini non si diventa ricchi, ma neppure si muore mai di fame”.

Io capisco che un po’ scherza, ma non ignoro che stiamo iniziando a mettere da parte un po’ di zucche e patate, e a guardare se nel fiume di nuovo pulito di fronte a casa nostra sono tornati i pesci pescabili. È solo istinto, comunque.

Con mia sorella e il cane facciamo spesso scampagnate, perché anche se siamo sul confine della provincia la Polizia non sorveglia argini e campi. Neanche le autostrade deserte vicino alla nostra proprietà, se è per quello: ormai ci sono più animaletti in pista che macchine, e il Convolvolo esplora le strade. Specialmente qui in campagna, c’è un rivivere della natura che è fenomenale.

È bello.

Quasi non riesco, non oso pensare a chi vive in città ed è bloccato in casa tutto il giorno. Finita la quarantena, sarà psicologicamente stabile quanto i superstiti della Grande Guerra, secondo me.

I miei amici del borgo infatti sono già diventati un po’ lunatici, perché o sono tremendamente attivi sui social, o diventano semplicemente introvabili. Anche se di mio sto abbastanza bene, è come se mi sentissi addosso la cappa di una società cieca che soffre perché costretta a fermarsi e per una volta pensare, e pensare, e pensare.

E poi mi manca andare in giro, quello sì. La gente ormai la vedo tutta in videochiamata, ma non è la stessa cosa.

Lo pseudo-isolamento sta facendo affiorare dei difetti diversi ad ogni persona: c’è chi diventa intrattabile, chi si impigrisce malamente, chi rompe le palle su whatsapp, chi al telefono diventa estremamente locquace (come me).

Era psicologicamente inevitabile, e col senno di poi chissà quante risate.

Questo è un evento mai accaduto prima.

Quarantena mondiale.

Da vecchi (collasso climatico permettendo) potremo leggere dai libri di storia dei nostri nipoti, e ritrovarci in quella data a pagina 635 del libro di quinta.

Ma che ci sarà scritto?

Guardo le news: ovunque il sistema sanitario è in difficoltà, l’economia boccheggia, le bufale alimentano i rispettivi nazionalismi.

In futuro, per ricominciare a giocare a chi ha il PIL più grosso, le nazioni sacrificheranno i già pochi fondi per gli investimenti verdi, di cui abbiamo invece disperatamente bisogno per prevenire problemi ben più grossi.

Ma pensiamo anche ai lati positivi, perché (per quanto piccoli) ci sono: quanto stiamo imparando da questa esperienza?

Abbiamo imparato che le videochiamate sono dannatamente utili.

I cambiamenti radicali per salvarsi le chiappe sono ancora una cosa da utopie? A quanto pare, sono stati utopie solo nel nostro immaginario.

Le mascherine non FFX sono quasi inutili, ma alla gente l’avere qualcosa davanti alla faccia fa sentire protetta: la realtà e la percezione si detestano.

Quando non hai altro da fare, i flashmobs musicali e simili non sono poi così ridicoli.

La routine può essere spezzata, la vita può cambiare in poco tempo, anche se non siamo in un fiilm.

La natura, quando non la bastoni, è molto più bella.

Ma l’industria bellica è davvero un bene di prima necessità?

Lavarsi le mani bene, a lungo, con il sapone, ci sta sempre.

Siamo probabilmente neanche a metà dell’emergenza, ci aspetta molto altro.

Comunque, altro che laboratori e scemenze varie! Per me ci sono semplicemente gli sviluppatori delle app delle videochiamate dietro a tutto questo! XD

🇬🇧

It is an almost surreal situation.

The unusual heat and the fact of being almost always at home make my body believe that it is already summer. You have no idea how many times I’ve involuntarily thought of the sea!

My days are like so many paintings made with only three colors: the blue of video calls (with school and other XR activists), the green of work on the fields and the sale of vegetables, the yellow of the outings made around our acres of field and trees.

In particular, our family work (I live on a farm) has risen: people no longer trust to go to supermarkets, they prefer to ask for our goods even if it is more expensive.

After all, however, fruits, eggs and vegetables organic and delivered directly to the house seem to be worth a lot today.

The demand is quintupled: in a week we sell what we sold in a month. We have almost run out of stocks, too, without the agricultural networks from which we now buy, we should soon have to choose who we sell to and who we do not.

My dad’s worried, says the networks are running low, too. Regular migrants, those who provide the necessary manpower in large companies and fly home in the winter, have remained in their countries this year because they want to avoid being infected and die far away from their families.

Then he smiles, saying that perhaps in the future we could afford to increase prices; after all, "you do not become rich as a farmer, but you never starve".

I understand that he is joking a little, but I am not unaware that we are starting to set aside some pumpkins and potatoes, and to look if in the river clean again in front of our house the fishes have returned. It’s just instinct, though

With my sister and the dog we often go out, because even if we are on the border of the province the police do not guard banks and fields. Not even the deserted highways near our property, for that matter: now there are more animals on the track than cars, and the convolvolo explores the streets. Especially here in the countryside, there is a revival of nature that is phenomenal.

It is beautiful.

I can’t bear to think of people who live in the city and are stuck in the house all day. After the quarantine, he’ll be as stable psychologically as the survivors of the Great War, in my opinion.

My friends in the village have already become a bit moody, because either they are tremendously active on social networks, or they simply become impossible to find.

Although I am quite well, it is as if I feel the cloak of a blind society that suffers because forced to stop and for once think, and think, and think. And then I miss going around, that I do. People now see it all on video call, but it’s not the same thing.

The pseudo-isolation is bringing out different defects to every person: some become intractable, some become poorly stacked, some break the balls on whatsapp, others on the phone become extremely locquacious (like me).

It was psychologically inevitable, and with hindsight who knows how many laughs.

This is an event never happened before.

World quarantine.

As old people (climatic collapse permitting) we can read from our grandchildren’s history books, and find ourselves on that date on page 635 of the fifth book.

But what will it say?

I look at the news: everywhere the health system is in trouble, the economy is struggling, the buffaloes are feeding the respective nationalisms.

In the future, in order to start playing with those with the largest GDP, nations will sacrifice the already limited funds for green investment, which we desperately need to prevent much bigger problems.

But let’s also think about the positives, because (however small) there are: how much are we learning from this experience?

We’ve learned that video calls are damn good.

Are radical changes to save your ass still utopian? Apparently, they were utopias only in our imagination.

Non-FFX masks are almost useless, but people feel that having something in front of their face makes them feel protected: reality and perception hate each other.

When you have nothing else to do, musical flashmobs and such are not all that ridiculous.

The routine can be broken, life can change in a short time, even if we are not in a fiilm.

Nature, when not sticks, is much more beautiful.

Is the war industry really a commodity of necessity?

Wash your hands well, for a long time, with soap, always fits.

We are probably not even halfway through the emergency, there is much more waiting for us.

However, more than labs and miscellaneous nonsense! For me there are simply developers of video call apps behind this! XD

[mightylauren]

Avengers Endgame SPOILER FILLED Thoughtstream

Pretty much a blow by blow reaction stream straight from my mind in list form of the entire movie from beginning to end. Clearly full of spoilers so it’s below the cut and tagged to death. There’s some all caps screaming. A few keyboard smashes. A fair amount of cussing. Probably a fair amount of typos as I typed this while totally not rewatching it in the comfort of my home. 

Totally not.

I don’t really expect anyone to read all of this but it was all festering in my mind and now it’s out. 

SERIOUSLY I SPOIL LIKE EVERYTHING BELOW THE CUT DON’T CLICK IT UNLESS YOU’RE SURE YOU WANT TO SEE IT.

Who put’s mayo on a hotdog?

Oh man hawks didn’t even see it happen nooo. I knew we were opening with Barton family dusting but ouch.

Tony calling Nebula the blue meanie!

Nebula refusing the last of the food and making Tony eat it makes me love her even more. 

Tony somehow keeps his sense of humor even in the face of death. God I love him. I know he’s gonna make it off this ship.

HA, that Internet joke about Carol showing up right after the trailer scene is true. That’s hilarious.

They never explain how Carol knew to look for them, but I’m going to guess she came to earth ala the scene after Captain Marvel and then went back out to see if she could find him.

Or she got REALLY lucky

I’m unclear does Nebula need oxygen and food? Or just significantly less than a full on human? She seems much better off than him.

Steve shaving did we miss seeing the beard one last time by like seconds? rude.

OMG Rocket sitting down and taking Nebula’s hand. The last of their family. Everyone else gone. My heart is aching.

23 days so we’re less than a month past Vanishing Day

Ha Tony calling Rocket Build a Bear is my first genuine laugh this movie.

I honestly was dying on the inside the whole time Tony is losing his shit on Cap. I mean he needed to say it all but seeing how sick he is and falling apart. He rips off his reactor and hands it over then collapses.

My heart.

Rhodey man. “That’s cute, Thanos has a retirement plan.”

Man this is the least planning they’ve ever done before a mission. They’re just gonna pack up, hop in a space ship and go kill Thanos? Cool. Coolcoolcool.

Okay it’s pretty good to see a lot of that trailer stuff is from very early on in the movie.

“Who here hasn’t been to space? You better not throw up on my ship.” XD

How does this big ass planet that can clearly sustain life have no life on it? Just Thanos some birds and some Meiloorun fruit?

That’s a Star Wars reference for those of you who don’t cross fandom lines.

So his snapping arm looks completely borked.

OH SHIT THEY CAME IN SWINGING

FUCK THOR CHOPPED OFF HIS ARM DAMN

ASDFKSAJDOFIUA THE STONES ARE GONE

Wait why is Banner still not Hulking out? How is that suit still running?

Damn he destroyed the stones. He knew they’d come.

DAMN THOR WENT IN HARD.

We are like twenty minutes in and Thanos is dead? I… what?

*crumples up and throws away all predictions she had before going into the movie

FIVE YEARS LATER?!?

FIVE

FIVE YEARS

I should have brought a paper bag to breath into.

Okay there’s the support group. Yup a lot of the footage from trailers and stuff is front loaded at the beginning of this. Which is good, because no clue where this is genuinely going.

Did… did a rat just bring Ant-Man back? A rat?

Shit how long has it been for him?

Oh wait, he’s looking for his people maybe not that long.

P-professor Chang?

Can you imagine how disorienting this all is for Scott? Pops out five years after a tragedy like the snap with no idea what the hell is happening.

My sister literally turned to me and said “no trash service but they built a monument?”

Valid question. Very valid. 

OMG CASSIE IS ALL GROWN UP I CAN’T.

I don’t think he fully realized how much time had passed until he saw his daughter.

“You’re so big” just made me tear up a little.

I just had a baby daughter four months ago. So I’m trying not to imagine what it would be like to vanish along with a bunch of other people and then turn back up five years later.

CAROL’S HAIR.

I’m sorry some of this is probably going to be completely incomprehensible unless you’ve seen the movie it just needs venting.

I am liking that they’re all reporting to Nat. That Rocket and Nebula are clearly teamed up.

OMG rocket made a joke about the haircut and Carol called him Fur Face

In case you didn’t know I have a ridiculous love for Rocket so I’m just glad he’s got a support system right now with almost the entirety of his found family dusted.

Capt. Marvel is basically saying she’s out for most of this movie isn’t she? I guess that makes sense she’s OP as hell.

Rhodey is tracking Clint but reluctantly. Clint’s clearly gone off the deepens a bit. Vigilante. Nat isn’t taking it well. Oh no she’s crying. 

This movie is gonna kill me.

I’m trying to imagine seeing a pod of whales in the Hudson River and I can’t imagine it. 

Okay so I’m guessing Scott’s about to turn up covering another major point from the early trailers. Yes yes yes. This is good.

Nat explaining that the Avengers gave her a family and a life and made her feel like she was a better person. Oh girl. You’ve done enough. It’s okay.

HA THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES ARE PRICELESS

Scott doesn’t know science. He’s trying so hard. We need the Science Bros. Where are they?

FIVE HOURS

FIVE FUCKING HOURS?

HE WAS IN FOR FIVE HOURS AND LOST FIVE YEARS????

“Scott, I get e-mails from a raccoon so nothing seems crazy anymore.” LFAO

Tony has a daughter I’m dying. It had to be a little girl. 

Wait is he serious about eating crickets on lettuce? He might be this is semi post-apocalyptic.

Tony does not look happy to see them.

YES LET’S PULL A TIME HEIST. Tony isn’t feeling this but I am.

Oh, Scott, honey. Back to the Future? 

Though Tony your protege Peter used movies to make plans all the time. Maybe it’s not that laughable.

Okay I would die for his daughter. “Mommy sent me out here to save you.” Don’t think you were supposed to just say that outloud kiddo but props on a successful mission.

I know Tony too well for this. He’s saying no, because he loves his family. He needs his family. He’s scared to lose his family.

But now this idea is going to itch at the back of his brain aching to be solved.

Come on Tony lets go back to the future and pull off a time heist.

Hulk in glasses and a sweater is was not even on my theory bingo card what is happening. Is this his diner? They had to find him so he’s clearly not working for Nat right now. I have so many questions.

This whole thing with the kids is awkward. 

Come to think of it I have questions about how the infrastructure that is supporting things like cell phone networks is still functioning after the vanishing. Maybe because it’s been five years.

Is Nat flirting with Banner to get him to help?

Tony looking at a picture of Peter he’s got to try.

OH MY GOD HE GOT IT IN ONE EVENING.

EVEN HE LOOKS SURPRISED.

SHIT! 

I’m glad there is laughter in this movie and it’s not entirely heavy. I mean it’s Marvel I should have known.

He calls his daughter Little Miss. And she just extorted a juice pop out of him. I love Dad Tony. 

This is gonna hurt later I just know it. I can feel it in my gut.

“I love you 3000” My heart.

I’m glad that Tony is just going to have a straight up honest conversation with his wife about this.

He’s grown so much.

Oh Pepper, she’s telling him to do it. There’s some unsaid deep communication happening in this conversation. Bless this pair so much. She’s going to let him go and he’s going to go even though his gut his telling him that the road is not going to end well for him.

That’s why he wants to put it in a lock box and drop it to the bottom of a lake.

This is just so damn good so far. No complaints yet.

I kind of love this Hulk. He has no idea what he’s doing here but I love him. He’s like only half taking this seriously.

BAHAHAHA THIS TEST. HE comes back as a baby and Hulk is like “He’ll grow” I mean he’s not wrong but not the right answer buddy.

Another genuinely funny scene. 

“TIME TRAVEL!” With his hulk arms held wide.

Tony is literally speeding in his car there. Cap doesn’t even look that surprised.

Oh this is the Tony and Steve getting back on the same page moment I’ve been waiting for. I love it. I really love it.

HE BROUGHT THE SHIELD.

I love that it was in the trunk buried under kids stuff.

Tony is back and I love it even if I’m scared it’s gonna mean his end.

“Rhodey, careful on reentry theres an idiot in the landing zone.” As if I couldn’t love Nebula more in this movie.

Wait “New Asgard Please Drive Slowly” just threw me for a total loop. Good to know all the Asgardians didn’t actually die in that ship.

VALKYRIE!!!!

She’s like not acknowledging the Raccoon LMFAO

Holy hell what is happening here. Oh man Thor what have you done to yourself.

Actually, I get it. 

Are they playing Fortnite? 

This whole scene is super surreal right now. 

I actually kinda dig it but I did NOT see it coming. This movie has gone places I never would have predicted.

Thor kept strong for so long. He lost so much. He got all the way to the point where he’d done all he could think. He killed Thanos and there was no way to undo all that could be done so he just settled and existed. He drank and played video games with his buddies.

I get it.

Rocket just lured him onto the ship with beer. 

Was good to see Korg and Miek are alive. And there for them in their own ways.

RONIN ALERT.

Oh dude he’s just fucking people up does he even have a bow with him?

Nat waited until there was some way to undo the snap before reaching out to him. She’s just been silently tracking him waiting for a good reason to bring him in. 

In a matter of seconds Tony calls Thor “Lebowski” and Rocket “Ratchet” and I have always lived for his dumbass nicknames. 

Lebowski Thor is officially what I’m referring to this iteration of Thor.

Oh look a classic time travel trope a limit in the number of trips they can make. Makes sense though, Hank Pym was always very protective of how to make the particles so they only have what was made before the Vanishing.

I love the team debating how time travel really works. Listing all the time travel movies. Bill and Ted even snuck into the list. 

Not sure sending Clint back for the test was the best choice this is gonna be rough.

Okay he started to lose it at the end but he made it.

YES brainstorming session this’ll be fun.

Tony’s gentle handling of Thor says a lot. Tony’s been to rock bottom and recognizes the symptoms. At the same time I laughed when he offered breakfast and Thor said no he wanted a Bloody Mary.

ROCKET CALLING SCOTT AN EXCITED PUPPY BAHAHAHA

Nebula is so dramatic I’m here for it. 

Laying all over the desk brainstorming for Nat to finally figure out that there are three stones in one place at one time. This is the content I came for.

TIME HEIST LETS GO.

And just like that its 2012 this is surreal.

LMFAO HULK DOESN’T WANT TO SMASH.

Interesting seeing what the Ancient One was doing during the battle of New York. On a roof defending the sanctum from Chitauri.

OH SHIT SHE JUST PUSHED BANNER’S SOUL OUTA HIS HULK BODY

I didn’t see that coming.

Just a glimpse of Loki. :-(

It was almost cruel to send Thor to Asgard to do this. I mean someone had to go with Rocket, but damn this is tough to watch.

DAMN Rocket smacked him. And also just called Mantis “the chick with the antenna”. Pep talk’s not bad but Thor is crying I don’t think he can do this.

I don’t know why they want to do it that way anyway, Jane would have taken one look at him and known it was the wrong Thor.

Wait… they’re sending Nat and Clint to Vormir… oh God… oh no…

Okay so that’s going to suck in a few minutes lets just put a pin in that.

Nebula you waited a bit to tell Rhodey that there’s another you out there looking for the same infinity stone you’re there to fetch. 

Oh look its like just barely pre-Guardians Gamora, Nebula, and unfortunately Thanos.

I have a bad feeling about this.

OH SHIT I HAVE A VERY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

Turns out two Nebula’s in one place is bad voodoo. She’s seeing video from the other Nebula which means THANOS can see video from the other….

Yeah this is all gonna go bad.

HAHAHA Tony just checked out Steve’s ass. 

AMERICA’S ASS!!!

It’s hard to remember that this shit is going to fall apart when I’m laughing.

Tony just flicked Ant-Man to his target and all I can think about is Gimli an “toss me” from LOTR.

Is Cap about to fuck up a bunch of people in the elevator again?

STEVE YOU SNEAKY BASTARD YOU JUST HAIL HYDRA’D AND STOLE THE SCEPTER.

2012 Time heist is about to hit a hiccup isn’t it. OH MAN they just gave Tony a heart attack.

LOKI NO

I mean yes but no. Loki just nicked the Tesseract and dipped with it. 2012 Loki is just gone.

There’s like timeline repercussions there. Not entirely sure what they are but there will be repercussions.

Cap fighting himself! CAP CHECKING OUT HIS OWN ASS!

Man the Time Heist is so rapid fire there’s too much to absorb.

“I’m totally from the future.” - Lebowski Thor breaking a law of time travel

Thor’s heart to heart with his mom is giving me feels. He needed this.

YES MJOLNIR IS COMING WITH HIM!

Ok it’s never occurred to me how ridiculous Quill would look dancing around without the music. That’s hilarious.

AH SHIT THANOS KNOWS AND HE’S THERE AND THIS IS WHERE IT GOES TO SHIT.

NEBULA </3

It’s so good seeing Steve and Tony back on the same page trusting each other. And clearly completely throwing Scott “Piss-Ant” Lang for a loop. 

I didn’t expect a detour to the 70’s. AAAND that’s his Dad. Tony’s just run into his own father. 

This movie is a roller coaster I’ll tell ya.

This is all mush if you’ve read this far you deserve an award. Or a sticker. One of those.

What a weird decision to have Tony have this whole meet up with his father here. And now Steve is taking refuge in Peggy’s office. Like this is almost mean to do this to these two. 

Why is it the Russo’s never could decide if Steve had gotten over Peggy or not gotten over Peggy. Back and forth and back again. I take it we aren’t going to see the niece at all in this one?

Alright boys lets get the hell out of the 70s this felt like a weird trip without the drugs.

Damn Nebula why is past you such a bitch when I love present you so much. I know I know that’s because you grew and what not but shit I don’t know what you and Thanos are about to do but it’s about to suck.

FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT VORMIR BECAUSE THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON

I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want either of them to die. This sucks. No No no no onoanfnaondaksldfj;lasdkja;

God we’re going to have to literally watch them fight over which one is going to sacrifice themself.

Here it is, I’m crying now. Me and Barton are just going to cry here in this puddle if you need us. 

They’re all back, except Nat. Which means that’s the wrong damn Nebula and no one notices because NO NAT. Shit. Shit shit.

This movie is going to give me a heart attack.

“Did she have any family?” “Yeah. Us.” :’-(

Okay Thanos like fucked up a whole mining community and shut down a star afterwards to forge a gauntlet to put the stones in and here’s Tony Stark plopping them into like an Iron Man armor piece like its nothing.

Looks sleek too. I dig it.

And they’re all too busy with the glove to notice fucking Nebula. SHIT. 

Man it’s hurting Hulk just to WEAR the damn thing. Thanos was just strolling around wearing it, which doesn’t bode well considering I see Nebula is bringing Thanos here. 

Cool. That’s cool. This is fine. 

How long of a moment of joy are they going to get. Clint’s wife is calling. Birds are singing. Shit is inches from a fan.

THERE’S THE SHIT. HOLY SHIT HE’S BLOWING AVENGERS HQ COMPLETELY OFF THE MAP NOOOOOOO

There’s like a whole hour left. Tell me they all survived that. I was not ready. I WAS NOT READY.

Oh here’s that shot of Hawkeye in the tunnel. Much later in the movie than a lot of those trailer shots. Fascinating. 

So 2014 Thanos is here with his whole crew and there’s a complete gauntlet here. Shit.

Well, they’re all alive. They’re not together entirely but they’re all alive.

Double wielding dad bod Thor just braided his beard with lightning and I’m here for it.

The stakes are at maximum. Now Thanos wants to destroy it all not just half. So failure here can never be undone there won’t be anyone to Avenge anything if he gets the gauntlet this time. That’s not terrifying at all.

Fuck that’s the wrong Nebula. BUT THERE’S THE RIGHT NEBULA WITH GAMORA.

Clint is like in the middle of this stand off like “wtf is happening I should have kept my hands on the glove”

Nebula just killed her own past self. And she didn’t vanish so no Back to the Future rules here for sure.

Damn Thanos is giving the boys a run for their money even without a single stone. 

Shit is Thor gonna die?

HOLY SHIT CAP HAS THE HAMMER AND THE THEATER JUST MIGHT EXPLODE FROM THE SOUNDS OF THE AUDIENCE SCREAMING ABOUT THIS.

Damnit Thanos is calling in the whole army. Cap is like the last one standing on the front line and he’s not backing down because he’s Captain “America’s Ass” America. Thor is down Iron Man is down. The others are trying not to drown. Shit.

OMG ON YOUR LEFT I JUST MIGHT CRY.

HOLY SHIT ITS EVERYONE I’M CRYING. 

PEPPER FUCKING POTTS IS HERE AS RESCUE HOLY SHIT.

TALK ABOUT THE CALVARY RIDING IN AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND HOLY HELL.

HE’S GONNA FUCKING SAY IT

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

It’s a good thing they sound proof these theaters now or you’d hear this across town the audience is going fucking nuts.

There’s too much to touch on all this chaos I’ll hit the highlights because it’s so much.

Pepper and Tony fighting back to back.

Thor and Steve switching weapons, Thor telling him to keep “the little one” aka Mjolnir.

Tony and Peter reuniting and the hug.

Quill seeing Gamora and it’s the wrong Gamora and actually that broke my heart a little bit because his Gamora is gone forever.

Playing hot potato with the gauntlet.

Scarlet Witch fucking Thanos up to the point he panics and starts firing on his own troops to get her off of him.

Spider getting the gauntlet and for the first time ever activating instant kill on purpose.

Peter becoming the hot potato along with the Gauntlet.

OMG ROCKET FOUND GROOT AND HE’S BODILY BLOCKING HIM FROM FIRE MY HEART.

When the ships started firing up my sister elbowed me and legit was like “She’s here.” 

All the women assembling around Captain Marvel!! Even Gamora is with them holy shit!

Damn it the glove is back within his reach and I can’t with this. 

GET HIM CAROL DON’T LET HIM DO IT AGAIN.

She took a headbutt to the face like it was nothing and he panicked like a bitch pulled the power stone and punched her with it. 

OH MY GOD TONY

My sister silently handed me a tissue and I fell the fuck apart.

I never thought in a million years they would have it go this way. Tony snapping. Dusting Thanos and his army. 

I can’t even comment more on this scene I’m too sad. Everything after is too sad. The funeral.

There are infinity stone colored stones in the “proof that Tony Stark has a heart” setting. 

I love you 3000 Tony Stark.

Thor leaving Valkyrie in charge and heading off with the Guardians.

Quill clearly looking for new old Gamora. I doubt she was dusted so she must have just faded away after the battle to do her own thing.

Glad that Nebula is with them though.

I feel a loose beginning set up for the actual Asgardians of the Galaxy.

Bucky said goodbye to Cap like he knew Cap wasn’t going to be back with them in five seconds. He knew.

We’re lucky he didn’t come back as a baby though. ;-)

I mean I’m surprised they went this route with Cap but I’m happy for him.

I’m happy for Sam too. We knew at the end of this the mantel had to get passed and here it is, old man Steve passing the shield to Sam.

I bet that show about “Falcon” and Bucky is really about the new Captain America and Bucky. Just saying.

Steggy shippers rejoice and the cries of a million Stony and Stucky shippers can be heard round the world.

Is that a sentence I just wrote? I never got into MCU shipping stuff personally.

And then all there is at the end is the distant sound of Tony forging that first armor.

A reminder that Tony Stark built all this in a cave.

From a box of scraps.

TONY….

I’ll be mourning Tony for a long while. I was always team Tony.

They did him right tough. His arc was satisfying and RDJ performed beautifully in this one.

My heart aches. They had to give him a daughter. I’m watching my daughter sleep totally not thinking what it would be like for her to lose her father. 

I’m gonna go hug my partner when I’m done with this.

Over all I am happy with Endgame. I mean with time travel they obviously left loose ends all over.

They say they can’t change time and the whole present becoming your past when you go back while the past is your future blah blah blah

But like clearly things are changed. 2012 Loki got the tesseract and escaped

2014 Thanos is no longer in 2014. So the Guardians movies happened but also couldn’t have happened? I dunno it’s confusing.

So basically the MCU has finally caught up with it’s comic book roots of being a confusing jumble timelines. How poetic.

Anyway if you read this you are amazing and feel free to private message me if you want to scream about Avengers Endgame and have no one else to do it with.

I feel better having vented this all out.

[thegirlintheredchair]

Book Review: The Keeper of Lost Things by Ruth Hogan

Rating:⭐⭐⭐.5

You know how J.K Rowling said “the wand chooses the wizard”, well I say “the book chooses the reader”. Like there is no “right time” to read a certain book. Like you’ll have a book lying on your TBR for ages, but you’ll read it only when its time, when you kind of need that specific story to make you feel/ realize something! Do you know what I mean? Im super bad at articulating stuff into writing. It sounded so surreal and epiphany-ish in my head. Anywho my point is that im well aware this came out in 2017 but I just now read it cause…“The book chooses the reader” (we’ve come back full circle, I’m rambling now—what up blog reference—okay im gonna stop now.) also that the excuse I give my TBR when it gives me the Death stare as I pile more books on to it! :P

Lets just dive in:

This is one of those “feel-good” books, the ones that you curl up with in bed on a rainy day. This is my 1st satisfying read of 2019. I am a sucker for stories that come back full circle to the beginning.( see what I did up there). It's so symmetrical and that’s just somehow very pleasing to my soul. Besides its human nature to find symmetry in literally EVERYTHING. Hello I mean even the universe has symmetry everywhere like have you ever seen a death of a star and the birth of a cell? The symmetry is astounding! Makes you realize the existence of a Higher Being!

Moving on…

The mystery, the intrigue, the soft, gentle romance, the lost things that tell their own stories. The supernatural bit. It was a bit of everything and in a word, lovely.

Anthony Peardew is “The Keeper of Lost Things”, having lost something very precious to him, he is well acquainted with the pain of loss and in order to cope with this loss, he collects random objects and gives them a home, hoping one day that they’ll be reunited with their rightful owners.

The other characters include Laura his housekeeper, Sunshine (loved her) and a gardener named Freddy who are all equally lost in their own ways. A parallel story about Eunice and Bomber along with his family, also one of love and loss is being told that helps tie the story up nicely in a little bow.

In the middle though, the story tends to slow down a little, you keep waiting for something climatic to happen, but it doesn’t, it all goes down smoothly. Nothing wrong with that but it was too smooth sailing. But I will say that that when it slowed down, I got a little bored to the point where I wanted to skip a few paragraphs and move ahead. ( I would never do that though, that’s like a faux pa in the reader community, akin to dog-earing your books. Who does that? MONSTERS only of course! It’s the 21st century use a book mark you uncultured troll! )

I loved how the house had character. Padua was beautifully explained. I loved everything about it: the gardens, the rooms, the “tray clothes”. Also Bomber’s sister, Portia, I had a good laugh trying to guess which infamous story she was going to retell and make her own. xD

All in all, his book was a pleasure to read. It had a bit of everything, the three main romances featured were soft and gentle, exactly how I imagine love should be. Also, her writing style was creative and calm, like lazy waves washing on the shoreline. This is definitely worth your time, along with a fireplace and a huge mug of tea! Or in my case a hot sunny day and huge gallon of iced tea… whatever floats your boat.

Its been a while since I curled up with a good book. This was a recommendation by one of my good friends and we had a nice long chat discussing the parts we loved in this book…

what “feel-good” book have you read this year?

[panasop]

My OC’s: A First Post

So this is something that i’ve been debating for a while but after some encouragement from @veari i decided to finally just put my OC’s and their respective stories out there. These two characters are Araleon and Lilanae.

The Two of Them

- Have been married since the conclusion of the Argus campaign, but had been together since before the Siege of Suramar City.

- When the illidari arrived in Stormwind, Araleon was the Alliance Delegation (King Alduin expected a heavy backlash from both the Night Elves and the Draenei of Stormwind, and wanted someone who had ‘experience’ with these sorts of delicate situations [specifically thinking of the DK quest where you come to SW and get pelted by tomatoes XD])

- after the original meeting the two of them spent a great deal of time working together in the field, going on missions, etc. one thing led to another and boom.

- their first ‘date’ was at Stormwind Park, Araleon was a bit of a flowery romantic and Lilanae was somewhat awkward (given that she’s been bumming it on a space ship for a 1000 years it wasn’t gonna be smooth lol)

-They currently live together in Araleon’s home off the shores of Stone Cairn Lake in Elwyn Forest, of course that is when they get the time to actually be home.

- Despite the prestige the both of them carry, their wedding was very quiet: Araleon didn’t want anyone from the Ebon Blade showing up and the illidari all thought Lilanae was foolish for “tying herself down” -Matron Malevolence’s words, not mine.

-Throughout the War campaign of BFA they have been very active agents of the Alliance, but they have barely had any time to themselves. (who’da thought a war would do that lol)

I have other small stuff but it’d bog the post down, so i’ll get on to the two of them individually.

 Araleon

-Previous Deathlord of the Ebon Blade, a role he despised for the ‘less than consensual’ nature of that whole ordeal.

-Was killed during one of the Lich King’s numerous campaigns into what is now the plaguelands. 

-in life he was a simple sell-sword, or rather a bodyguard. His sword could be anyone’s for the right price but he held to a strict moral code.

- Under the control of the Lich King Araleon did many terrible things (forced to murder innocents, raise other undead, y’know the usual) and as a result he suffered years of insomnia due to nightmares (I know DK’s don’t sleep, shut). 

-Over time these nightmares have lessened but he still gets them occasionally, of course now whenever it happens Lilanae will usually just hold him until he goes back to sleep.

-One of his favorite places in the world is Pandaria, specifically the Jade Forest. (The tranquility of it helps him stay grounded and calms his mind when he’s struggling with something.)

-He’s a bit of a tinkerer, a nod to a pastime when he was still alive.

-Absolute sweetheart, loves encouraging younger adventurers to live their lives while they still has them.

-reviles anything which upsets the cycle of nature, but recognizes the usefulness of Undeath in certain circumstances.

-LOVES dragons! he cannot stay away from those scaly babies (The DK mount quest made me sad, and i imagine he tried his absolute damnedest to not kill any of the red dragons.) He has alot of respect for Alexstraza and the rest of the Red Dragonflight, despite the somewhat strained relationship he was forced to have (Thanks blizzard again, god damnit.).

- A bit of a hopeless romantic, if he’s not working on official alliance business he’s spending literally as much time with Lilanae as possible!

-At times he can come off as a bit stoic or even unmoved by certain things, but in times of great stress he prefers to simply listen and here what people are trying to say, because sometimes what they say is not what they mean, and react accordingly. This has given him quiet a bit of influence in the ‘higher ups’ of the alliance, so to speak.

-Occasionally he’ll stop by the Stormwind Orphanage and spend time with the children, something he does in part because of the guilt he still feels regarding what he did under the Lich King, as well as simply giving the children something to do. (He’s a Frost DK, and i like to imagine sometimes he’ll whip a snow storm just to let the kids play for a time!)

Lilanae

- Not a very old Night Elf, all things considered, she was born not too soon before the third war, but lived to see her home in Ashenvale torn apart by demons, her mother and father included.

-for a thousand years in the twisting nether she dedicated every waking moment to slaughtering the legion, becoming one of the strongest illidari and eventually after Illidan’s capture, was promoted to their leader.

-Was never a fan of leading others, largely because she felt as though they slowed her down, but eventually she acclimated to her role and became the leader the illidari needed.

-fun fact, her demon is a shivarra, a very difficult demon to control and one that earned her the respect of Matron Malevolence. (To dominate a shivarra is a near impossibility, so Mama Mav wasn’t gonna fuck with that!).

-strangely enough, after a certain period of time the shivarra inside her stopped fighting, and has what can only be described as a bizarre symbiotic relationship. (Lilanae’s strength is more than enough to sustain the demon, so rather than tempt her to mutate, the shivarra actually guides her when she goes through a metamorphosis, whether this is for self preservation or a twisted form of respect, is unknown, even to Lilanae.)

-When the illidari first came to Stormwind, Lilanae was quite hesitant of the Alliances hospitality (she can be a bit paranoid at times, but then again fighting an immortal army of demons can do that). However, after she met with Araleon she began opening up to the Alliance experience.

-she spent the first night alone on Azeroth in Elywn Forest, simply admirring the way the grass and nature felt.

- Lilanae is very outward going, but she doesn’t tend to say many words. Not so much stoic, but she views ‘talking for the sake of talking’ to be somewhat pointless, and chooses her words carefully to express exactly what she’s thinking. This leads her to speak in very curt, and often blunt, sentences.

-LOVES the WATER! one of her favorite things about living with Araleon by Stone Cairn Lake is that she can swim whenever she wants. In fact when she was little her mother would make jokes about her being ‘like the druids of the fin’!

-used to be uncomfortable with intimate contact, but ever since she’s been with Araleon she’s learned to be more comfortable with herself and who she spends time with.

-another fun fact, her skin used to be quiet cracked and scarred, but due to her direct exposure to the ritual of the night warrior during the events of Darkshore, her skin is now much smoother, if only a slight shade of grey darker. she’s actually quite happy with the transformation (although she’s still kinda mad that elune didn’t give her eyes back, c’mon elune, LET THE GIRL SEE!)

-Admittedly she’s not as much of a ‘traditional’ romantic compared to Araleon, however she does tend to ‘play-flirt’ with him whenever she deems it appropriate to do so.

HOLY SHIT is that alot of my mind. It is so surreal seeing all of these ideas about my characters, my fucking SHIP OF ALL TIME here, just sitting on screen. If you stuck through this absolute slog of a post, thank you so very much, i appreciate you taking the time out of your day to see the circus i call a mind, you’re great!! And if you just skimmed it, that’s fair as well.

[kusunogatari-a]

[ SasuHinaMonth Day Eight: Twins ] [ @sasuhinamonth ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina, pregnancy mention ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ]

He honestly never thought he’d make it this far.

As a child, he’d declared his intentions to restore his clan. Of course, back then, he’d not been fully aware of how precisely to go about it. At twelve he knew the basics of family-making. The A to B of it. But he’d had no plan - no one who meant enough to him to consider making his - eugh - wife. He’d simply assumed that, when the time came, something would work out.

Then everything began to go awry.

Sasuke’s detour into Orochimaru’s tutelage hadn’t been expected. Nearly three years of his life spent after abandoning Konoha alone, save for the other underlings the serpent sannin had acquired.  And when he was no longer useful, Orochimaru was tossed aside, and new sources of power taken up. Hebi - later Taka - was...a difficult thing to put into words. They weren’t his team from Konoha. Nor did he really want them to be. He had a mission, and they were to be tools to accomplish it. Yet despite his best intentions, they still grew to be a cohesive squad...and though he would never admit to it, they grew to mean something to him. But nothing like what he needed for a clan. Karin and her infatuation were...off-putting. He could never picture them as a couple, so he disregarded her.

Reuniting with Sakura after the war was...awkward. It was clear she viewed him in a different light. Not that he could blame her after everything he did. She tread on eggshells despite insisting she was still in love with him. The whole thing seemed far too contradictory, so she too was scratched off his imaginary list.

...though at that point, he really wasn’t sure why he had one anymore. He felt...different. Everything he’d gone through - everything he’d done - made him question if such a normal life would ever be possible. He’d done terrible things in the name of what he thought was right...when in the end, he was largely wrong.

True, the shinobi world had much to atone for - much to change. But he’d gone about it all wrong.

For a time, he’d buried himself in missions, thinking that the high-ranking assignments would help him feel...useful. Like he was making up for his mistakes and helping create the better world he wanted for his - for...future generations. But even that seemed empty.

So instead, he rebuilt the police force. Rebranded it, and called upon his Hyūga allies. Together, the wielders of the village’s most powerful eyes kept watch from within, while his brother and the ANBU did so beyond the walls. He began to reconnect with people again. They grew familiar to him, and he in turn to them. Trust slowly built between the remnants of the Uchiha, and the people of Konoha.

And one person he found himself unable to avoid was Hinata.

No longer heiress, she instead focused on her shinobi career. A jōnin not long after the war’s end, her own tasks grew higher in rank. But with her clan becoming a significant part of the village’s safety, she eventually decided to give it a try.

As chief, it was his task to initiate her. And she did well - far better, admittedly, than he expected. So she too joined the ranks of the force’s officers. Curious, though he would never admit it, he took a few tasks alongside her, just to see how she would do.

Her compassion yet sturdy morals made for a perfect policewoman. Understanding to those who needed help, and unforgiving to those suspected of wrongdoing. The line she drew between the two was well kept.

It impressed him.

But more so was her ability to see him just...as a person. No one special. She treated him with respect for his rank, but nothing else. There were no sidelong glances, as though wondering if he were going to suddenly snap. Though not intimately trusting off the bat, she grew to work with him well, and soon the pair could read one another’s movements and react fluidly, like extensions of the other.

It was that, more than anything, that caught his attention.

He asked to spend some time with her outside a shift. She agreed. It’d been a quiet afternoon, but still speckled with conversation. They quickly discovered parallels in their pasts and paths. Sasuke found himself eager to know more, and she seemed just as curious.

Neither could say exactly when it happened, but it wasn’t long before friendship bloomed into something...different.

And it was then Sasuke knew that - maybe, just maybe - he’d changed enough to give the future he’d imagined as a child another chance.

To everyone’s surprise, their courtship was rather short. They’d grown so accustomed to one another, it seemed pointless to wait. So a mere four years after the war, and less than two since becoming comrades under the police force banner, Uchiha Sasuke married Hyūga Hinata.

And it was only a few months after that, they discovered she was with child.

It had seemed almost...surreal. A child’s naive dreaming over a decade ago was becoming a reality. The clan was growing again. Scarcely able to believe it, he was hit with even more surprising news at a later checkup.

They were having twins.

Agreeing to let the sexes be a surprise, both seemed almost unbelieving. True, her father had been a twin, but Hinata hadn’t expected to have them herself. It would be the second pair in her husband’s clan now.

And it’s now that Sasuke holds his wife’s hand, taking every bone-breaking grip as she works to bring them at last to the world beyond her womb.

The white-haired medic wastes no time or effort, helping speed along the process until two wailing voices filled the birthing suite.

One boy, and one girl. Both with feathery wisps of dark hair...and mismatched eyes, mirrored gazes.

Unprepared for names, the pair decide to wait and think. Once the babes are cleaned and returned to their mother, Sasuke stares with an intense, one-eyed gaze as his hitai-ate covers the Rinnegan. He hadn’t even taken time to change from his gear upon hearing Hinata had been admitted.

“...which do you want to hold first?”

Flickering between them, he wordlessly takes up the boy. A dark eye sits in the left socket, and a pale in the right: opposite his sister. He’d wondered how the bloodlines would interact, but...he’d never expected this.

Letting her daughter nurse, Hinata watches him with a soft, warm smile. Sweat-soaked bangs cling to her brow, dark circles beneath her eyes. As soon as the pair have had their fill, it’s clear she’ll need her rest. “...what are you thinking, Sasuke…?”

His head slowly shakes. “...I can’t...begin to tell you.”

“...are you happy?”

“...more than I could ever say.” Looking up, his expression is so unguarded, he almost looks as childlike as he did when still a genin, eyes alight with both wonder...and perhaps a bit of fear. “...it hasn’t really...sunk in yet. But…” He looks back to his son. “...it’s like...the empty spaces in my chest are...full again.”

His wife softens. “...I’m glad.”

“...thank you...Hinata…”

     Word count: 1205      Cumulative: 9561      Goodness, I had a full day irl, but still managed to get this done xD It’s just about midnight, but it still counts as being on time, right?      I’ve actually never made next-gen SasuHina kids, so...honestly these are very spur-of-the-moment. Also hence no names because it’s late and I’d want them to be more thoughtful than tonight will allow, lol      Anyway, not much else to say, I suppose! I’d better skip off to bed soon, but I hope y’all enjoy this latest entry for the ship month. We’ll be back at it tomorrow, time allowing! <3

[gaycey-sketchit]

(Gary anon) That said, it's arguably easier to come back to those types of games than something you can finish within hours or days, like an RPG or platformer. (At least some animation studios are getting that message. Realism is cool in the short-term, but anything that started off stylized, you can see right away why making it realistic feels unsettling or personality is lost. Especially with this "Realism = Serious" mentality. It's very heartbreaking when animators can tell how an audience)

.

(Part 2) (is going to react negatively because they had those same feelings working ON the project itself; but their employers are blind to it for some reason) Makes you wonder what happens when that journey for Chloe is finished. Still waiting to see if this leads to seeing a Gigantamax Eevee. (Just like how TRio turning serious in BW didn't last pass it; it wasn't there for that whole series either. Morpeko is disliked; at least its Hangry Form, because the group more misery

(Part 3) (than being helpful or entertaining. Most prefer that Pelipper who delivers the Gatcha) Anything that doesn't have a physical/tangible alternate and security is bound to get loss eventually. (And it's basically a law-less war-zone right now, but that's all I'll say on that. We can only ride this out) Still have yet see an Arcanine in Journeys and he's still the most prolific owner of one, so it's possible. (The Arceus special makes me doubtful on that now, but I'll be happy)

(Part 4) (if does end up with Hisuian Arcanine. Just anything new.) Those piercing red eyes and giant size and charging at you with quick speeds certainly don't help. xD But it'll be so satisfying to catch them. (Thanks!)

Yeah, that's a great thing about Minecraft (and similar games, though Minecraft is the main sandbox-ish game I'm really familiar with unless Animal Crossing counts). No matter how long you've been away from it, it's always so easy to come back to.

Yeah! There's been some really great animation in recent years that takes a stylized approach instead of going for realism. Movies like Into the Spiderverse and The Mitchells vs the Machines are such great examples of stylized CGI and were very well received for good reason. (And it's always a delight when an animated movie that isn't CGI comes out. A while back I watched this new stop-motion horror anthology The House and it was such a good use of the medium, it really added to the surreal vibe and made it unsettling and haunting to a degree I seriously doubt it would've been otherwise.)

Exactly! Sure, it's impressive that CGI has advanced to a point of being able to look photorealistic, but like. If realism comes at the expense of all the personality and soul what's the point? I need Disney to understand that the only animated movie of theirs I want a live action/realistic CGI remake of is Lilo and Stitch, and that's solely to see how they make Stitch look both like plausibly a dog and distinctly alien.

I cannot imagine how depressing it would be to work countless exhausting hours on a project knowing there will be whole articles about how bad it is when it's completed. Christ.

ANyway!

Yeah, I'm really interested to see how things go for Chloe! It's hard to say how it'll end for her when she's still searching for the path to take. (And we will definitely see Eevee gigantamax at some point, I know it.)

Yep, the TRio are our goofy ineffectual sympathetic villains who charm us with their bonds with each other and their Pokemon. It's why the seriousness in BW didn't last, and why I don't doubt the current Issues won't follow into whatever comes after Journeys.

It's wild how usually Pikaclones are promoted in the anime in ways that make them more endearing, but Morpeko was pretty well liked for its cute design, interesting ability and concept, and being Marnie's partner before the anime made everyone who cares about the TRio hate it. A big grievance I've seen against Journeys' treatment of the TRio is just compared to how in the previous series, they had Bewear feeding and sheltering and looking after them, and now they're just. Constantly starving because of this one Morpeko and the situation just feels excessively cruel.

Yeah, Pelipper's fine. It's just a Pelipper doing its job, I haven't seen anyone with grievances against it.

The whole cr*pto thing is just... too much of a mess to even try to unpack, for the sake of my sanity. Just have to wait until it eventually dies out.

Very true! He sure is a notable Arcanine trainer, and we haven't seen his Arcanine since like... Johto I'm pretty sure. I want to see the puppy.

Fair, I guess we'll see one way or another. If he has anything of note, any indication of how he's been progressing as a researcher, I'll probably be happy enough. (I'm already just glad he seems so happy and secure compared to the frustration and self-doubt he went through in his early days as a researcher. It's what he deserves.)

Yeah, they're terrifying and I love it. This game gets so intense and it's so fun.