#I imagine that John is just yelling this like the week after he got married and the family is just like 😐 waiting for him to calm down

[peakycobblers]

John, talking about Esme: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HER AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? SHE DID. SHE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

[honeyjars-sims]

Chapter 3 Prologue: This Must Be the Place

Johnny’s eyes were fixed on the mirror as he clumsily attempted to knot his tie. “Ugh, I can't get this right,” he mumbled.

"Let me help.” Solomon took the ends of the tie from his son's trembling hands.

“Feeling nervous?”

“A little,” Johnny admitted. “I don’t know why, though.” The feeling was more similar to excitement than anxiety but he was still surprised at how jittery he was. “It’s a big day!” David interjected. “I think everyone gets a bit nervous when they get married.” “I know I was a mess!” Solomon laughed at the memory. “Remember how I could barely get any words out during our vows?”

“I do." David placed his hand on Solomon's cheek. “You were so cute.” “Well that makes me feel better.” Johnny was relieved to know he wasn’t alone in having pre-wedding jitters. “You have nothing to worry about, son." Solomon smiled. “You’re about to marry the love of your life.”

“Everyone decent?” Chantal’s head appeared around the door frame, her hand shielding her face. “As decent as we can be! Johnny replied. “I was told to give you this." Chantal handed him a letter.

“Who’s it from?” Chantal rolled her eyes. "The President." “Oh, great, I was hoping he'd get back to me.” Johnny recognized the print on the envelope as the same one used for the wedding invitations, which he knew wasn't by accident.

He and [redacted] had squabbled over which design to go with for weeks before Johnny finally relented. "Fine, you can have your boring-ass white invitations if you want them that bad!" He'd yelled, and after a few seconds of silence they'd both dissolved into fits of laughter. Who could have imagined he'd be so passionate about stationary of all things? It was such a silly disagreement that it became a recurring joke anytime they had a difference of opinion during wedding planning.

“We’ll give you a moment,” Solomon told Johnny as he and the others exited the room. Johnny began reading the letter:

John, my love, Words can’t express how excited I am that today is our wedding day. When we first met I never would have imagined that we'd end up here, but now I can't picture anyone I'd rather have standing by my side. We've both grown so much since then and I know it's because we bring out the best in each other. There's so much more I want to tell you, but I'm saving it for my vows. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to use this envelope one last time! With all my love, [redacted]

“Johnny.” Solomon leaned against the door frame. “It’s time.” As Johnny made his way to the ceremony, he couldn’t help but think back to how it all began. How he had gone from one of the lowest points in his life to the highest in what seemed like such a short amount of time.

He wasn’t the same man today as he’d been back then, but he was grateful for where the journey started. He didn’t know it then, but all of that pain led him right here where he needed to be.

To the one he was meant to be with.

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

This Must be the Place (Naive Melody)--The Talking Heads

Home is where I want to be Pick me up and turn me round I feel numb, born with a weak heart I guess I must be having fun

The less we say about it the better Make it up as we go along Feet on the ground, head in the sky It's okay, I know nothing's wrong, nothing

Hi yo, I got plenty of time Hi yo, you got light in your eyes And you're standing here beside me I love the passing of time

Never for money, always for love Cover us and say goodnight Say goodnight

Home is where I want to be But I guess I'm already there I come home, she lifted up her wings I guess that this must be the place

I can't tell one from another Did I find you, or you find me? There was a time before we were born If someone asks, this where I'll be, where I'll be

Hi yo, we drift in and out Hi yo, sing into my mouth Out of all those kinds of people You got a face with a view

I'm just an animal looking for a home, and Share the same space for a minute or two And you love me 'til my heart stops Love me 'til I'm dead Eyes that light up, eyes look through you Cover up the blank spots Hit me on the head

[merry-andrews]

oh dear God I finally found free time to sit and type my comment!

First thing that got my attention is the title! I love your story titles so much! they're so artistic and cute and give a brief review of what the reader would expect! I also like this concept of Billy washing (or putting it in washing machine) something that belongs to Homelander. I always think of Billy as someone that doesn't do such thing kd7v5duysv that man is so messy and gross hhn so reading things like him doing laundry is really cute! maybe dating with Homelander finally had effects on him XD

it's cute how you mentioned his cape as his security blanket which it is XD I can't remember a scene that he actually took off his top half of the uniform? thinking of Homelander gripping the cape while he's making love, awww. my boy has many issues and is a fragile soul, please be kind to him, Billy!

"You were leaking all over the place! Easier to wash your cape than all of the bedding." Butcher tries to keep a straight face, but a smile is hard to suppress when he can see the supe get more irate with each word, shaking his head.

"Don't even--! Your entire bed smells like cigarettes most days of the week! Maybe you should have just washed your sheets instead of throwing my cape into your godforsaken basement washing machine!"

I love how Billy doesn't back off in an argument, he certainly did that because he found it 'hot' in that heat of the moment hehe. I like to think that Billy's affection language is act of service, he did that and when he saw Homelander got upset, he offered to wash the cape for him, something that he doesn't do for himself (his bedding smells and his clothing look like that'd seen better days!) but he did this only exception for John.. that's really cute!

"Because you're not allowed to throw an American flag in the trash, idiot. Even if it's been desecrated by some British barbarian."

"Desecrated, huh? Pretty sure you're not supposed to wear an American flag either."

"I'm not some nobody. I honor it by wearing it."

"Then stop bitching and keep wearing it! Maybe you'll start a new trend."

Homelander looks like he's contemplating lasering Butcher in half, but his eyes don't go red.

'SCREAMS' Gosh I love love this part soo much!! first of all, okay you can think I'm weird or BUT bringing this thing of Billy being British and manhandles Homelander around by his American cape or this cute, small dialogue of 'how you can understand the value of this flag? you're a barbarian British man' is just really cute! I keep imagine how their kids' accent gonna be by one parent being english and another one is an american hehe. I once read somewhere that Karl's accent isn't good at all but oh well, I like it XD it's also cute how Billy says back 'you aren't supposed to wear it too' then just giving up like 'just stop yelling at me and wear it! you'll start a new brand!' God, Billy just say you're sorry! both of them are hard to tolerate and both of them are made to be together! one of my friends kept asking me why I ship these two this much and after she watched the show she's like 'they both are evil and assholes and are made to be boyfriends for eachother' X3 I shared your Zinc fic with her too and she's loving it so much already! oh God, forgive my long comment! I babble a lot when I get excited and sometimes it gets out of the subject! sorry! I really love reading how you write their argument! they act like married couples hehe. I loved how John held himself back hehe his eyes didn't even glow red! (then you were expecting I have him laser Billy in my game Xp) he would never hurt his Billy so.

"Didn't see a tag that said 'cold wash only'." Butcher shrugs. "And I was always told that 'these colors don't run'."

"You are so fucking disrespectful and so fucking proud of it too," Homelander says, shaking his head. "Insulting every vet who ever died defending this country and what this flag stands for."

"Oh please, there's only one person I'm disrespecting." Butcher checks something on his phone. "Well, you're right. You're not supposed to throw the flag in with rubbish. You're supposed to burn it. Funny that, always thought that was more of a 'Death to America' kind of spectacle."

Gosh, no wonder they got divorce in season 4! Billy kept being irritating then John just decided to take their kid and leave him hehe. just joking XD he'd never do that to his loved ones hehe, he's a cute, clingy boy. tho Billy really needs to make some changes in his behaviour! and not wash his boy's cape with hot water! and stop talking to his boy like that!

"Fine by me," Homelander says and before Butcher can protest sets the shrunken, red-and-pink striped cape he's holding at arm's length on fire, right in the middle of the living room. Charred, black pieces of it float down to the wooden floor.

oh my God!! John no! hhn this headcanon of him heating up the food or cooking with his laser, ok I have an idea and it's so silly but what if he turns on Billy's cigarette with his laser?! I'm just saying! and this imagination of him that does little things like cooking, trying to help Ryan in his school project, doing tricks in parties with his laser or just heating up Billy's coffee/tea or lighting up his smoke is really cute!

The ending, I loved every part of it! poor baby puts his suit out of Billy's reach this time and I wonder if it was all a plan to get the supe shed off his top? XD when Billy went down on his knees I was talking to my screen like 'come on! Billy won't relent! there should be another fight! XD' but then gasp! he went and put John's legs over his shoulder, bending him in half then went to kiss and lick at his chest oh dear!! I love, love body worship for these two! and yeah poor John feels insecure to have his chest exposed or just wear something that shows his true body figure underneath (and the blushing part was soo cute!!!!) Billy's going to make sure he feels confident enough about his body hehe. they're fit for each other, I keep saying! I'd love to know what happens next (God, can you blame me?! your butchlander fics got me addicted! hides) but I think Billy's going to eat him out next after he's finished with his work with John's chest then maybe who knows, John brings around next time a spare flag so Billy can spread it on the ground and ravish John on it hehe. wish I could gift this story more kudos! I love love love it soo much!!! thank you for writing and sharing such cute story!

Cozy Corner Domaystic prompt #6: Laundry

Butchlander, 1k. (Ok, at least I wrote one! phew)

"It's really not that funny."

"Agree to disagree." Butcher can barely get the words out before he cracks up again.

"This is entirely your fault, you know, beginning to end."

"Oh yeah, how do you figure that?"

"If you didn't fucking--" Homelander sighs and presses his lips together in frustration, looking pained to even say it. "... fucking use my cape as a rag and get it dirty in the first place..."

"Did I insist you keep your top on the whole time? Did you really need your security blanket with you while getting shagged?"

"I had the cape out of the way. It wasn't going to get dirty until you decided to clean up with it."

"You were leaking all over the place! Easier to wash your cape than all of the bedding." Butcher tries to keep a straight face, but a smile is hard to suppress when he can see the supe get more irate with each word, shaking his head.

"Don't even--! Your entire bed smells like cigarettes most days of the week! Maybe you should have just washed your sheets instead of throwing my cape into your godforsaken basement washing machine!"

"I'm sorry, love. I'm sure Vought will provide ya with a new one."

"It's not about that." Homelander rolls his eyes. "It's not something you can just throw in the trash."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not allowed to throw an American flag in the trash, idiot. Even if it's been desecrated by some British barbarian."

"Desecrated, huh? Pretty sure you're not supposed to wear an American flag either."

"I'm not some nobody. I honor it by wearing it."

"Then stop bitching and keep wearing it! Maybe you'll start a new trend."

Homelander looks like he's contemplating lasering Butcher in half, but his eyes don't go red.

"It might look better like this, you know. Make you look taller."

"You didn't just shrink it."

"Didn't see a tag that said 'cold wash only'." Butcher shrugs. "And I was always told that 'these colors don't run'."

"You are so fucking disrespectful and so fucking proud of it too," Homelander says, shaking his head. "Insulting every vet who ever died defending this country and what this flag stands for."

"Oh please, there's only one person I'm disrespecting." Butcher checks something on his phone. "Well, you're right. You're not supposed to throw the flag in with rubbish. You're supposed to burn it. Funny that, always thought that was more of a 'Death to America' kind of spectacle."

"Fine by me," Homelander says and before Butcher can protest sets the shrunken, red-and-pink striped cape he's holding at arm's length on fire, right in the middle of the living room. Charred, black pieces of it float down to the wooden floor.

"Oi! You tryin'a burn my flat down just for ruining one of your stupid capes?!"

Homelander's eyes fade back to their cool unnerving blue. "William. I can burn your dingy little apartment down in much more efficient ways if you give me cause."

"Cause?" Butcher asks as he sweeps up the ash into a dustpan. "Like what? Tryin' to kill ya?"

"Like not giving me an I'm-sorry blowjob right fucking now," Homelander says, seating himself on the couch, leaning back and spreading his thighs.

Butcher looks him over, smirks at the supe's brazen eagerness despite getting so worked up about a piece of his uniform getting ruined. "Only if you actually undress this time."

Homelander hesitates, evidently much more comfortable taking off his pants than anything above the waist, but relents. Butcher can't help but snigger when he sees the supe fold his stiff padded suit up carefully and drape it over the back of one of the chairs near the kitchen, making sure it's out of easy reach of where he reseats himself.

Butcher knows when to humor the cunt, and slides down to his knees between Homelander's legs. But he can't help himself, hooks his hands on the insides of Homeland's knees, and pulls them over his shoulders, tilting the pelvis in front of him. Homelander doesn't fight it and instantly, magically looks thrown off his game-- that annoying look of sitting on a throne awaiting service is nowhere to be seen anymore.

"You sure you don't want me to run the rest of it through the wash?"

"Shut up and get on with it already," Homelander hisses, not trying to hide his irritation in the slightest, but still throwing a nervous look over to where his clothes are, out of harm's way, at least for now.

"You don't look half bad with your top off, you know," Butcher says, working Homelander's erection with one hand while sneaking his hand up and tweaking one of the newly uncovered nipples. "And I don’t think you ever really fooled anyone with those pushup padded tits."

Homelander doesn't even deign to respond, turns away with a huff. His face is red... is this shameless son of a bitch blushing because he's actually embarrassed? By this of all things? There's no way Butcher won't take advantage of it.

"You scared to be seen shirtless? Scared to have your nips out? Scared someone might do... this?" Butcher pushes upwards, pulls the supe's knees up right along with him, still hooked over his shoulders, and breathes softly against Homelander's chest and watches his small nipples pull up even tighter. Homelander lets out a delicious, pained sound when Butcher runs his tongue against one of them, still panting as he wraps his arms protectively around his chest.

"My cock's down there," he mumbles, motioning down with his gaze, trying so hard to sound mean.

"Yeah, think I saw it on the way up here."

"William, I've been nothing but patient and never once pulled you or pushed you."

"That's very kind of you."

"Don't make this the first time I have to shove your head down."

"Your cock will get its turn, don't you worry. Soon as I get my fill of being up here, watchin' ya squirm."

Homelander's arms only pull in more tightly, refusing access. Butcher kisses one of his forearms.

"I'm gonna put your whole clownsuit through the wash if you keep acting coy," Butcher threatens the other man, but deep down he wonders why this supe seems so uncomfortable showing his upper body to anyone.

"And I'm gonna laser you in the face," Homelander mutters, but relents and opens his arms.

"Fair trade," Butcher says before running his tongue across the other nipple, enjoying Homelander’s feeble attempt to suppress a moan.

(AO3 link)

A/N: I find these rules amusing and, yes, somewhat crazy:

(d) The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery... (j) No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform [...] The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing. (k) The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.

[blackspoon99]

The Empty Hearse Pt. 3

Sherlock x Female! Reader

TW: Mentions of Death and Blood 

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Monday - 12:26 pm

Meanwhile, you were meeting up with Mary for lunch to congratulate her on the engagement. A simple lunch with a friend seemed mundane compared to what had just happened. It was a welcome change from the ludicrousness of having an old friend literally come back from the dead. Mary truly had been a breath of fresh air since Sherlock had died left. She was one of the people who had helped lift you out of that dark place. You were selfishly thrilled that the engagement meant she had a more permanent future in your life as well as John’s.

You walked into the café to find her already waiting for you at a table near the window.

“Oh Mary, congratulations!” you cried as she pulled you into a hug. “You and John are just made for each other. I can’t imagine anyone better, truly, I can’t”

The lunch began with you and Mary discussing the early plans for the wedding, whether she should get married in May or June, possible venues, and other pleasantries. Mary really had wanted to know one thing from you since you arrived, and she was getting tired of waiting. Finally, she let out a groan and interrupted you just as you were giving your two cents about wedding flowers.

“I’m sorry Y/n, but enough stalling. I have to ask. How are you? You know, after Sherlock?”

“Mary, I love you, but can’t we just enjoy lunch without talking about him? He’s not my whole life you know… well not anymore.” You mumbled the last part.

“I know, it’s just that John used to talk about how happy you were back in those days. I’ve never brought it up before because I was respecting your boundaries but now that you have the chance to get even some of that happiness back…” She gently reached across the table and placed her hand on yours. “I just can’t keep my mouth shut anymore.”

“I don’t know Mary. How is anyone supposed to be okay after something like this? I don’t really know what to feel.” You looked up at your friend and your face softened. You knew Mary meant well. “Maybe you’re right Mary. I can’t deny I was happy during that time with John and Sherlock. But my life back then was…ugh I’m trying to find a better phrase than ‘downright mad’!”

Mary let out a light laugh. “I’ve only ever heard about it from John, but it seems like it. Why don’t you tell me a little about it? Please? John’s not one for details.”

It had always been hard to talk about the happy memories because of the nature of Sherlock’s death. Although you were the most confused about your emotions around Sherlock than you had ever been, it couldn’t hurt. “I suppose I could indulge you in a few stories”

You sat in the café and recounted some of your favorite memories with Sherlock. A particular favorite of yours was the first time John invited you over for tea after you’d met him through a mutual friend. Sherlock had burst through the door covered head to toe in blood carrying a harpoon. Later, you’d learn the blood wasn’t human, but it was still quite an eventful first meeting.

Mary watched as you spoke with more light in your eyes than she’d seen as long as she’d known you. This was a new person altogether. Mary decided then and there that she would do whatever she could to bring the happiness back to you. She tried to conceal a knowing smile as she realized she’d witnessed two people coming back to life in a single week.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday 4:24 pm

Later that afternoon, you returned to work. Even though it didn’t pay too well, you loved working in a bookshop. The perks were many: the quiet, your favorite café being just across the street, and all the books you could want at a generous employee discount. Today, a new shipment of bestsellers had arrived, so you spent most of the day sorting, organizing, and reading the first chapters of some of the books while the owner wasn’t looking.

You were struggling with a full box of books when you heard the bell at the door ring. “Welcome! Let me know if I can help you find anything!” you yelled over your shoulder in the general direction of the customer. As you turned around, a corner of the enormous box clipped a bookshelf, and the box went tumbling sideways. Before the books could come clattering to the floor, someone caught the other side.

“Need some help?”

You looked up to see none other than Sherlock Holmes, large as life, dramatic wool coat and all.

“This isn’t space, Sherlock,” you said coolly, yanking the box back and moving around him.

Sherlock caught up to you and reached his arm out and leaned against the wall in front of you, blocking your path. “Have dinner with me”

“What?”

“Come on, have dinner with me, y/n.” He flashed you the smile that always made you melt

You sighed and placed the box on a nearby table. Your heart felt heavy all of the sudden. You knew you part of you still wanted to. You knew an even bigger part of you felt the same way for Sherlock as you always had. But whenever you looked at him, all the good memories of him were mixed in with the pain you’d felt when he left. You wanted to separate them, to forget everything and give in, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to.

“I can’t Sherlock, I’m sorry”

“Why not?”

“I told you I needed space. I need more time, Sherlock. You didn’t listen to me.”

“I don’t understand. I thought we were alright.”

Sherlock looked like a kicked puppy. Although his face was still calm, you had learned to see through his exterior years ago. You knew he didn’t fully understand why you were rejecting him. Suddenly you felt guilty.

“I know, and we are, it’s just-” You turned your head away as it had suddenly become difficult to meet his gaze. “You jumped off a building, Sherlock. Then you let me believe you were dead for 2 years. You don’t understand what that does to a person.”

Sherlock stood in silence. His features were slightly contorted. You could feel your face beginning to heat up. Why did this hurt so much?

“I still care about you, Sherlock. But as much as I want them to, things can’t just go back to the way they were. At least not yet.” You tried to give him a sympathetic smile. “I can’t forgive you right now, but I promise I will try.”

“Well, if not dinner, how about chips? I know a place.”

You laughed in spite of yourself “You never did know when to give up, did you?”

“Come on, I’ve got a terror threat on. No better time for chips, the world is ending.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about”

“Want to find out?”

He got you. “Fine. After my shift, I’ll come and meet you at Baker Street. Let’s give it a try.”

“Looking forward to it.” Sherlock turned to leave.

A warm feeling spread through your chest. Little by little, the good was coming back. It was more hope than you’d had in a while. You decided that you were looking forward to it too.

A/N: I indulged my own escapism fantasies and made y/n work in a bookstore. In another life…

The rest of this fic will probably be a mix of actual scenes from season 3 with some made-up ones like these

Taglist: @the-chaotic-cow @amoeebaa

(I also apparently didn’t know how to properly tag people on Tumblr. Sorry taglist friends it should work now)

[outerbankspreferences]

I don’t know why you love me - Rafe Cameron

Word Count: 3080

WARNINGS: I went into a bit of detail with his drug problem. If that makes you uncomfortable it’s all italicized so you can skip that part and you shouldn’t be confused.

REQUEST:  Could you write an imagine where Rafe's long time girlfriend says that she sees herself marrying him to Sarah and Rafe overhears. He is super damaged thanks to Ward so he doesn't believe it really and starts to distance himself. A sweet ending please?

MASTERLIST

It was a Sunday afternoon in the Outer banks. Things had calmed down a lot. You were over at the Cameron household helping Sarah make decision on her engagement party. John B had finally popped the question to Sarah with your help. You helped him make sure the ring was the right size and helped narrow down spots. You were so happy for the two of them. You and Sarah had grown close over the years of dating Rafe. She was always there to support you when things got hard with his withdrawal in the beginning. She was your shoulder to cry on when you didn’t want to break in front of him. 

“Rose wants to know who were inviting. Apparently, she wants to have it at the country club.” Sarah sighed slamming her head down on the table. John B had just walked through the door. “Oh god, what did I just walk into.” He asked wondering if he should try and dip out.

 “Your fiancé is trying to narrow down the guest list. Who do you want to invite John B?” You ask him to look through the list you already started. It only had Sarah’s family and extended family. “If you don’t want to have it there Sarah you don’t have to. It’s your engagement party not hers.” You look at her.

 “I know but I don’t know where I want to have it, and we can’t wait to long.” She told you as John B came over rubbing her back trying to be comforting. “If you want to babe, we can look at some places tomorrow. Take your mind off the planning for a bit.” John B suggested trying to be helpful. Honestly, he knew nothing about planning a party and just left it up to you guys. If it were up to him, they would be partying on the beach like old times. “That’s a great idea, did you put the pool cover back on when you were done? I don’t want dad getting pissed again. I listened to him complain about it for like a week.” Sarah asked him. “I did not cover the pool, because your brother is still in there swimming and I didn’t want to drown him this time.” You all laugh. John B and Rafe’s friendship had always been rocky but has gotten better in the last couple of years. He even asked his permission to marry Sarah which you thought was adorable when Rafe told.

 Rafe was no longer swimming he got out of the pool and was putting the cover on it. He had started to collect the things from outside. You guys hung out there all the time because your apartment didn’t have a pool and the beaches were always crowded this time of year. He was walking towards the door when he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard his name.

 “I can’t wait to plan all this stuff with Rafe.” You say more to yourself but both Sarah and John B hearing you. “Did he propose to you?” Sarah almost yells out loud. “Say it louder Sarah, I don’t think they heard you across the street.” John B scolds her. “No, he hasn’t proposed. I wish he would though. After everything we’ve been through, I’m ready for the next part of our life. I just don’t want to freak him out.” You say gushing to Sarah all about the plans you wanted to have with Rafe.

 Rafe couldn’t believe this. He thought he was the luckiest man on earth when you agreed to go out with him. He was still recovering from his addiction, but you were there for him. You knew about his drug addiction, everyone on the island knew about it. You never brought it up to him though. You knew he would tell you when he was ready to let you into that part of him.

 ~FLASHBACK~

It wasn’t until Sarah called you one day saying that Rafe was in the hospital. You’d never driven faster in your life. When you got there, he was thrashing around screaming. You asked Ward what happened, and he told it that he must have gotten a bad cut of drugs. He had been clean for a while and you couldn’t understand what would cause him to relapse, as far as you knew things were going great, you guys just started talk about getting a place together.

 “I don’t understand what would cause him to relapse?” You ask looking at Ward. He shrugged his shoulders, it looked like he could careless about his son. “I don’t know, that’s what addicts to Y/N, they relapse. You should have thought about this before you started dating him. He’s not worth it. You’ve got so much going for you, don’t let him hold you back.” You couldn’t believe what he was saying. Rafe was in danger and he didn’t even care. “He wouldn’t be damaged if it weren’t for you Ward. You broke him. All he ever wanted to do was make you proud. You pushed him to this. What kind of father pushes their son over the edge like this? He needs help because of you. I will not leave him the way you did, because where I come from you don’t give on family like that.” You tell him in front of everybody in the waiting room. You knew it wasn’t your place to say these things, but you were so upset. You tried to walk away when Ward grabbed your arm, “you don’t understand what its like Y/N, on this side of island we have a reputation to uphold.” You look him dead in the eyes. “Clearly you want the wrong reputation.”

 You sat by Rafe’s bed all night holding his hand. The nurses gave him some medications to calm him down and finally took the restraints off. He looked so peaceful sleeping, you wondered what he was dreaming of. The doctor had come in to talk to you about what happened. He explained everything that had happened and that they found traces of LSD in the coke he took. It was a new mix on the island, and if it had been a while since Rafe last used his body probably wasn’t used to it.

 Rafe finally woke up looking around, taking in his surroundings. That’s when he saw you in the chair next to him. You had a blanket covering you with a book in your lap. He couldn’t remember what happened. He only remembered the fight he got in with Ward. He just lost it. Ward was telling him that he wasn’t good enough for you. That Rafe needed to get his life together. He told him that he was holding you back, and you deserved more then a low life drug addict like him. He cursed himself for changing his emergency contact to you when he broke his arm last summer. He moved his hand, and it woke you up. You eyes flutter open adjusting to the brightness of the room. You smiled at him.

 “Hey handsome, how are you feeling?” Even after everything you just watched he was still the most handsome person ever. You were quiet waiting for his answer. “I have a headache, what happened?” He asked you. He was confused and groggy from the medications they gave him. His voice was hoarse from all the screaming. “You had a bad reaction to some drugs you took. They were laced with LSD, Sarah called me, and I got here as soon as I could. It was bad Rafe, you were scream and thrashing around, but it’s okay now. The doctors took care of you they gave you some meds to help counter act the drugs in your system.” You explained to him.

 Just then the doctor comes in. “Mr. Cameron, glad to see your back in order son, how are you feeling?” He looks through Rafe’s chart. “It’s just Rafe, Mr. Cameron is my father, and I feel tired, I have a headache too.” Rafe told the doctor you got up to leave, but he grabbed your hand. “I’m not going far love; I’m just giving you guys some privacy.” You put your hand on top of his. “I know, I just want you to stay please.” He looked at you with scared eyes. You couldn’t imagine how overwhelming this was on him. You sat back down, and the doctor continued talking. “I have looked into some rehabs on the mainland Rafe. You’re still young, you can turn this around. I have a friend who runs one for men your age. I can get you in if you want.” He looked at the both of you. Rafe looked at you as if looking for confirmation. “You need help Rafe, they can give you the help you need. I’ll help you as much as you want but I’m not a professional.” You tell him your honest opinion. You would support him with whatever he chose. “If I go to rehab when do I leave?” He asked the doctor. “I can get you on the ferry in the morning. The sooner the better. You’re normally there eight weeks but you can stay longer if you need.” The doctor looked at the two of you.

 Rafe agreed to go to rehab with your support. It was the longest eight weeks of your lives. You stayed in a hotel over on the island paid for by the Cameron’s to make sure you could be there for him. It broke you to watch him go through withdrawal. He was sick all the time, but the treatment center worked, and he got clean. You guys ended up getting an apartment together afterwards and Rafe kept up with his required therapy.

 Looking back on it, Rafe couldn’t believe you stayed with him. He didn’t know if anyone else would have. So, when he overheard you talking to Sarah about getting married to him, he couldn’t believe you. All those times Ward told him he wasn’t good enough for anyone he believed him. He figured you were just staying with until you found someone better.

 Rafe was distant the whole way home. He didn’t say much in the truck, but you just figured he was tired from being outside all day. When you guys got back to the apartment, he went straight to take a shower. You knock on the door, “Babe you want me to join, I could use a shower too, I smell like chlorine and it’s giving me headache.” When you go to turn the knob its locked. “I won’t be long Y/N, you can shower after me.” He responded through the door. You heard the shower running, it was weird he said that he loved showering with you. He always said he loved the intimacy of it.

 This behavior continued on and off for weeks leading up to the engagement party. Rafe was always making excuses that he busy, he was with Topper, he had something to do with his dad, Wheezie needed to be picked up. It got to the point that you guys only talked at night and even then, things were different. He would cuddle you, but it wasn’t the same. You thought maybe it was the engagement party, he hated getting together with extended family because his father always brought up the business.

 It was finally the night of the engagement party, it was going to be a nice dinner, and photos then back to the Cameron home for an after party. You had picked Rafe’s suit up from the dry cleaners along with your dress. You were wearing a simple form fitting dress. You didn’t want to outshine Sarah on what was supposed to be her night. You were finishing the last bit of your makeup hollering out to Rafe. “Alright babe, I’m all ready to go.” You walk out of the bathroom putting your earrings in. Rafe was sitting on the couch flipping through his phone. He looked up at you and normally he would tell you how beautiful you looked but he just stood up heading to the door.

 The drive was quiet, music playing softly in the background. Rafe didn’t look over at you once. It was making you insecure, did you wear the wrong thing? Did you go overboard? Was it the wrong suit? You guys made small conversation the rest of the way. When you got to the restaurant you sat next to Wheezie, and Rafe sat next to John B. They talked all night but Rafe didn’t say anything to you. When you tried to put your hand on his thigh, he moved it off. You didn’t understand what had gotten into him.

 The pictures didn’t go any better. They did some family ones and then just some of John B and Sarah you took that as your opportunity to pull Rafe a side and mention something. “Is everything okay Rafe?” You ask as soon as you guys are way from listening ears. He gave you a confused look. “Everything’s fine.” He replied not saying anything after. “Oh really because you’ve been distant for weeks. You’ve barely said two things to me all day, did I do something?” You ask concern lacing your voice. You looked in his eye searching for any kind of emotion. “Look can we not make this about us Y/N, its Sarah and John B’s night. We can talk about it later.” He snapped at you. He walked away not saying another thing about it.

 Once you guys got to the party you went your separate ways. You were talking to Kie and Sarah laughing about something they said. You looked around for Rafe and didn’t see him anywhere. “Where’s Rafe Y/N? I haven’t seen him all night.” Kie asked looking at you. You looked around, “your guess is as good as mine. He’s been distant the last couple of weeks, I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” You explain to the girls. They both agreed it was weird for him to be acting that way.

 The DJ started playing some slower songs. Kie went off with Pope dancing and Sarah left with John B. You scanned the room looking for Rafe. You feel someone’s hand on the small of your back and it causes you to jump. You turn around and it’s just him, “sorry didn’t mean to scare you.” He laughs a little. You lean into his touch. “That’s okay, are you enjoying yourself?” You ask him. “Yeah, it’s not that bad of a party.” It was the stupid small talk again.

 That’s when the DJ started playing your guys song. “Rafe it’s our song, let’s go dance to it.” You grab his hand pulling him out to the dance floor before he could protest. You wrapped his arms around your waist, yours going around his neck. He kept distance from you though. You had finally had it.

 “For Christ sakes Rafe, what is going on with you. You’ve been avoiding me like the plague. Did I do something? I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you. Are you not attracted to me anymore, is there someone else?” You start to ramble on. Rafe couldn’t believe you thought you were the problem. “It’s not you Y/N its me.” Rafe cut you off. “Well, that’s just great Rafe. Real cliché of you.” You said to him walking away. You walk onto the porch with him following. You prepared yourself for what you were about to hear.

 “Just tell me Rafe? Is there someone else?” You ask him looking down tears forming in your eyes. “What? No, there’s no one else.” He said to you nonchalantly. “Then what is it?” You ask, ready to break. Rafe took a deep breath. “I overheard you talking to Sarah. When you told her that you were ready for the next step. You told her you wanted to marry me, and I don’t know why. For the life of me, after everything I’ve put you through, I can’t understand why you love me. I don’t know why you want to throw your life away on a count of me.”

 He wasn’t looking at you anymore. He was looking out onto the water. Watching the moon bounce of the waves trying to calm himself. You walk up behind him placing a hand on his back. “I love you Rafe, that’s why I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” You turn his head so he’s looking at you. He had had to see you meant every word you were about to say.

 “I love that you remember my coffee order, even though I change it every week. I love that you make sure my shows are recorded when I forgot them. I love that bring me coffee when I’m working. I love the look in your eye when you just wake up in the morning. I love the sound of your voice when you tired and hung over. I love spending lazy days in bed with you. I love all these things and more. I’ve grown to love your faults, and your positives Rafe Cameron. And I’m sorry if I freaked you out with what I said to Sarah, but I’ve never loved someone like I love you. I love you so much it scares me sometimes. But then I look into your beautiful blue eyes and I’m not scared anymore, because I know when I have you, I can do anything.” You told him with tears in your eyes. He was almost crying too; he took you into a bone crushing hug. You guys stayed like that for while just swaying to the music softly playing the background.

 He finally pulled away you. Looking into his eyes you could tell he had cried a little. When he spoke, it was a whisper even though you were the only two out there. “I love you too Y/N. I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t want anyone else.” He kissed you with all the passion he had in him. You kissed him back with just as much emotion. “Okay, but I want to elope because I can’t plan another party.” You tell him after pulling apart. He laughed looking at you, “Deal.”

TAG:  angelreyesgirl100

[moral-turpitudes]

I’ll Follow You Into The Dark:

Masterlist | Rules | Peaky Prompts

Trigger Warnings: ANGST, Explosions, Mentions of Blood, Gore etc, and some Fluff.

*Based on Fluff Prompt #1 from my Peaky Prompts list.*

Word Count: 1,695

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Reader

Requested: Yes

Requested by: Anon, you can find it here.

Summary: When Thomas and the rest of the blinders head towards a trap, Y/N has to decide if they’ll stay behind or go with them. Knowing that they vowed to be with him until death.

“If heaven and hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark”

- Death Cab for Cutie

The sound of explosions rang faintly in the distance as you held your hands over your ears, the impact dulling your hearing as a sharp ringing filled them.

“Tom!” You yelled into the void, hoping to hear him through the chaos.

Silence.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you crawled through the sharp debris, looking for the bomb that was set off nearby, hoping to find the remnants of the man who taunted your family and made the fatal mistake of stepping in his own trap. His evil smirk etching it’s way into your memory as he walked in the lavish room ever-so carefully. Thinking he’d be able to avoid the perilous wires near his foot as you spotted them before he did, your warning causing him to take his final step. Your hands soon scraping through the chunks of drywall and broken glass as the dust and smoke burned your eyes and lungs, your mind racing with finding the man whom you’d followed that day into the trenches, so-to-speak. 

Every Peaky Blinders mission for Thomas was like a battle, his mind always set on planning attacks to escape the scraping sound of the shovels against the hot, dark tunnels. But as always, no matter how many times he tried to stay one step ahead of his rivals, someone always got in the way. 

It started out as an ordinary day, Thomas calling a meeting and giving orders to head to the latest location on his mental hit-list. The name making your heart sink as you realized he was walking into a trap. The infamous, cunning gang leader you’d came to share a bed with was going to waltz right into what he swore he never would.

“Any questions?” He asked, his eyes lingering on yours as he blew out a puff of smoke.

Everyone nodded along except you, knowing the people they were going after were just as dangerous. That week, the rival gang had crossed the line, threatening and taunting the Shelby family with letters and fake explosives just to remind them of “who really ran the town.” One of them said in a tense phone call to Thomas, setting off the chain of events leading up to now.

The decision to leave your clerical duties was a rash one. Nervously following your husbands car to their destination. Once there, you parked a ways back, behind a slew of trees. Your steps light against the cobblestones as you got closer to them, knowing in your heart you had to warn him, even if it was the last thing you’d say to the man you loved.

“Tommy! Wait!” You said loudly, your heart racing from the effort it took to catch up to him and his brothers.

“Y/N...you need to go back to the shop, it’s not safe. Go.” He said lowly, not wanting to call attention to you all.

“I came here to warn you Tom. Remember when you sent me to sit in on their meeting at the pub? They mentioned a trap. I-I didn’t think much of it then, but after the threats...Tom I know it’s a trap. If you go in there now you won’t make it out.” You said as tears formed in your eyes, your nerves getting to you as you struggled to speak. 

“I have to, love. Now go.” He said, kissing you quickly. 

“No. I’m going with you.” You said defiantly, pulling out the handgun he gave you, checking to make sure it was fully loaded.

He had a pained look on his face as he nodded, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to change your mind. You’d been a good shot in the past, but that didn’t exactly mean much when explosives were concerned.

You all had barely made it through the first floor of the large manor before the first one went off. Thomas shoving you to the ground, shielding you from the small debris falling through the air. As the haze cleared, you sat up, feeling Thomas pull you to the nearest wall, yelling orders at his brothers before checking his bullets.

“Keep your eyes peeled for the wires yeah? Stay behind me.” He said, opening the door as the dust covered space cleared. You walked closely behind, quietly looking at the ground for any signs of the deadly wires as you heard yelling upstairs. Arthur was shouting amongst gunfire, and John sounded like he was scrapping with one of the men they were after.

Thomas roughly took your hand, leading you up the stairs in a sideways motion, backs towards the wall, checking around the corner with a quick glance before a bullet whizzed past your head. A scream caught in your throat as you realized how close you were to the darkness of death itself. Thomas soon returned fire, the screams of the man he hit echoing through the stone hallway that led to his brothers.

Upon arrival, you flanked your husband, pointing your gun at the man holding John down as Thomas shot the other.

“Get off of him!” You yelled, catching the mans attention enough to where John could get a punch in. The man hurling himself angrily at you soon enough until you shakily shot him. The man falling limp to the ground within seconds. Your hands shook as you took in the sight, trying to distract yourself from the blood by looking at the ground for more wires.

Almost as soon as you’d said that though, the man who’d sent you all the taunting letters came in with a menacing smirk, stepping in a weird way so as not to disturb the floor. But your eyes saw the colored wires poking out ever so slightly, your brain wondering how in the hell you all avoided it earlier.

“Everybody down!” You yelled, causing the man to misstep, setting it off. The wind soon knocked out of you as the blast hurled everyone to the ground. The ceiling caving in in various places as well as part of the floor below you.

You felt yourself relax as you breathed in the smoke, feeling as though you were going to pass out from the ordeal. The sharp pain of the glass shards stuck in your now shredded coat the only thing keeping you clinging to consciousness. As you closed your eyes, you pictured what life would be like if he’d never had the family business thrust upon him after the war. How he’d have probably married you sooner and how you’d probably be chasing little kids around by now in a big house on the outskirts of town. But now, reality set in as Arthur’s shouts came through the muddled noise, Johns following not too far behind as they ran towards you, grabbing you up in the knick of time. The once lavish building crumbling before your eyes as you knew the one you loved was most likely gone.

“Tom!” You called out, hands still scraping through the rubble of the first floor as Arthur and John dug through the rest of the larger stuff. Tears visibly splattering on the dust covered floor, the tiles smashed beyond repair.

Your heart ached knowing you’d never find him as you scraped through the debris, your hearing slowly coming back and eyes watering as you continued on, stopping once a hand reached out from one of the corners.

“Y/N.....” Thomas said weakly, his arm badly cut and his face busted up as he spat up blood, most likely from his busted lip or the jagged stone poking him in the chest. It most definitely broke a few ribs, causing him too much pain to move as he thought about what to do, even though he couldn’t do much of anything at the moment.

It seemed like he waited longer now, than he did for the calvary in France, for his brothers to make it to where he was. Helping him up despite his loud groans of pain.

You watched in horror as they drove him to the hospital, his face paling as you followed behind their car, hoping that neither heaven nor hell would take him, even though he belonged to the latter. Hoping that he would stay here, for you. For his family.

Hours had slowly passed until you’d gotten word he was going to make it, the doctors saying he was damn well close to dying by the time they’d got him in surgery.

“There you are love.” He said weakly, the meds doing his head in as he saw you walk in carrying his beloved cigarettes and his bloodstained coat. Your own body covered in various bandages as you sat next to his bed.

“I thought you were dead.” You said, tears rolling down your cheeks as he cupped your face with his hand. A small, pained laugh escaping his lips.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Y/N.” He said. Knowing he might as well have nine lives with as close he’s been to death over the years.

“I know...” you said shortly, holding his bruised hand in yours that were bandaged up.

“But...please promise me...that next time you’ll listen to me. At least when I know it’s a trap alright?” You asked, concern lacing your every feature as you felt him pull your hand to his lips, kissing the top of it gently.

“I will, but promise me something as well.” He said.

“What?” You asked.

“Promise me you won’t follow me next time. You shouldn’t have to risk your life for me.” He said, a serious look in his tired, blood-shot eyes.

“I can’t promise that Tommy. I’ll follow you into the dark not matter what. I fucking vowed to you know.” You said, pointing at the diamond on your ring finger.

“Aye, but you’re my partner. Can’t have you dying too.” He said.

“That is true, but what is love without sacrifice?” You said, giving him a light kiss as he pulled you close despite his injuries. Wanting to feel you beside him, to know that he wasn’t stuck in the rubble anymore, to know that he had you, and you had him.

Thomas Shelby Tag List:

@msbzowy, @nofckingfighting, @aranoburns, @sighonahurricane, @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes, @gaytommyshelby,  @fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby, @inglourious-imagines, @thebloodyshelbys, @tsolomons, @blinder-secrets, @reveparade, @shelby-fanatic, @ta-ka-shi-ma, @psychkunox, @peakyxtommy, @captivatedbycillianmurphy,@dreamwastakenx,

@lovemissyhoneybee @thomashelbyswhore​, @xxbeckybeexx-blog

If you’d like to be added/removed just send me an ask or message! :)

[deepdonutkid]

Ok opinion about John and Lizzso. S1 relationship ? And if he had lived, how do you think he would have reacted to her and Tommy in s4 & s5.

Thanks anon for this ask! I will call Lizzie in the futur more often Lizzso, because that sounds extremly funny XD YASS, QUEEN LIZZSO and I know it’s a typo, but gosh, I love this typo!

I think about John & Lizzie... a lot, maybe even too much. With the setting they had, like they wanted to marry, but we barely see them as a couple... or never see them as a couple, it’s so interesting to think about those two.

The only interaction we get from these two are only after they have broken up, but they are still very friendly and compassionate about each other, which says a lot about how they were as a couple.

Every time I try to imagine them, while still being in a relationship, I picture them as friends. Talking a lot about problems and how to solve them. They are not really affectionate with each other, because of how things have started with them. It’s very likely John was a former client, who thinks he developed feelings for her, because he is sleeping with her.

A lot of people think, John is a fuckboy, and I doubt that. Even Arthur is more fuckboy than John, because Arthur acutally fucks around a lot. Let me elaborate on this:

John married young and got four kids... what a fuckboy thing to do... Just kidding, it just shows how soft John really is. I mean, neither Arthur nor Tommy married before war and neither of them had children. I think John chose this life for him, because he wanted to. He loved Martha, he loved having a family and he chose this for himself, because he likes being a father and husband. Everything around him is chaos and family is what gives his life structure and stability.

And as a man around this time, he had the choice to marry or not to marry. He could have had a completely fine life, without the trouble of getting kids. If he got Martha pregnant, before they got married, he could have also talk to her about abortion, but... he married her and raised three other kids with her.

That’s why, he is not a fuckboy ... and that’s my opinion.

So after the war John is confronted with the problem of raising four kids... alone. He knows that’s too much for him to handle alone. I bet he was sleeping with Lizzie, to just get his mind off his problems, but it was still there, everytime he was with her. And he thinks to himself: “There is this great woman, I have known all my life, who knows me, knows what life I live, still accepts me, talks with me and gets along with my children... could that be the solution to my problem?”

A part of him also wants to feel a deep connection between them, which they don’t have... not in a romantic way. John wants to sleep with a woman, he is bonded to, because that makes sex better for him and he performs better, if he is fucking somebody he loves. Love makes sex a lot better and he could fuck around all Small Heath, like Tommy and Arthur did, but that doesn’t do it for him. It’s good sex, but not fantastic or really satisfying. It’s something to calm his nerves. (Tommy does that too, but he is so cold-hearted he doesn’t bother to seek after a romantic relationship)

But why do I think, he didn’t had a romantic relationship with Lizzie? Well... because Lizzie sees him different and she is different than him. John was her client first, so all she is going to see in him... is a customer. John is a duty for her. Tommy on the other hand... I think she always had a crush on him and she is still hung up on the time before war and thinks someday she might get a happy end with him... but then they get married and she learns he will never be hers.

Lizzie and John are really good platonic friend with each other and I still want to write (actually it’s a work in progress) a fic, with a focus on their dynamic before or in season 1. John didn’t make a romantic marriage proposal and if he did... Lizzie laughed it off. It’s more likely both of them had a clean discussion about how a marriage could fix a lot of their problems. They both rationally agreed on this and then John went to tell his family about, even though he knew Tommy and the others would laugh about this plan... because clearly John isn’t the thinker of the family.

And when John learned from Tommy about Lizzie’s plans to keep working as a prostitute, he feels betrayal, because she could have told him. But instead she went behind his back and made him look like a fool. If they talked about it, they would have figured out something, that works for both of them. So John understands, he hasn’t found a partner in her... that’s not the same thing he had with Martha.... that’s not love and Lizzie is clearly not in love with him. Or why would she still sleep with other men, if she was in love with John? If she loved John, she would have a lot more faith in him, that things would work out finacially and she doesn’t have to work anymore.

John goes to Lizzie and calls the whole thing off. Lizzie realised, she is relieved, because she didn’t love John nor did she wanted to marry him. She is in love with somebody else and around that time she notices how strong her feelings are for a certain Shelby brother... who isn’t John.

Both of them go back to being friends and stop sleeping with each other, because John can’t sleep with her knowing, she is screwing others as well.

AND NOW... let’s go back to the question... if John would have survived the shooting in season 4, how would he react to Lizzie’s and Tommy’s relationship?

John as we all know him.. has a quick temper and is very hot-headed... He would be furious.

At first at both of them. He would shout and yell and when he doesn’t have the energy to do that... He would start to ignore them. keep all this hate inside him.

But then Lizzie would confront him about this and would probably say something like: “I don’t have a choice.. I want to keep the baby and therefore I have to marry him.”

John would go like: “Yeah, I know why you want to keep it. You have always loved him and not me. (bitch)”

Lizzie on the other hand would retort: “what’s so wrong about that? I can’t choose who I love... That’s just happening to me.”

John: “Why him tho? My brother is a dick... he doesn’t treat you right. He would only marry you out of duty. He doesn’t give a fuck about you and he is going to hurt your feelings.”

Lizzie: “That’S my life and I’m going to make the decision. Fuck off.”

John: “alright, fuck off.”

They wouldn’t talk to each other for week, or more likely until the wedding. John had to be there, but he would be very silent, which is not quite like him, but he feels like the second he opens his mouth he is going to say something that would ruin Lizzie’s wedding day, but he still likes her too much to do that to her. So he keeps everything to himself.

Later he would drink and yell at Tommy for destroying Lizzie’s life and confront him in private about it. 

And he would be mad at Tommy for like a year at least, because he can’t forgive Tommy for treating Lizzie, the way Tommy does.... and it’s actually a good thing John died, before seeing them together, because I believe, John’s disagreements with Tommy would only become more violent, after Lizzie’s and Tommy’s marriage. And slowly John would start to hate Tommy... Not like John would actually plan to leave or do something against Tommy, but he would be bitter and resentful the whole time. He can’t leave Tommy, because they are brothers and John has a strong sense of family, but he would pick a fight with Tommy to every given chance.

He and Lizzie would be friends after a while, but his relationship with Tommy would be ruined.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 15 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 1.8 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

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{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

The War Between The Mind And The Heart

At the hotel room, you cry on Laura's shoulder. She knew it, of course she did, but despite being furious at her too, you need someone. And you can't call Lucia, even though you know she's the grandmother of your child.

Yesterday, you couldn't sleep. The night was a nightmare, a torture, as you stared into the darkness with memories filling your head. All of them have Keanu in it. And they were good. When the morning finally came, you called Laura and she ran here, made you eat something as you cried and yelled and sobbed. Your head hurts, your throat is sore, and you feel like shit.

“I can't believe he did that. I trusted him with all my heart.” It comes out barely a whisper and you dry your eyes for the hundredth time with a tissue.

“(Y/N), you need to listen to me now,” Laura says, holding both your hands on hers. “You already vented and I listened. But now I must explain what happened.”

You don't think you want to listen. During the night, you even considered going to Argentine with Lucia as soon as the baby is ready to travel. But the very thought of being so far from Keanu crushed your heart, and you felt stupid to hold such felling. So now, you don't know what to do. From your position, back resting on the headrest of the bed, surrounded by pillows, you weakly nod. “Why did he lie to me, Laura? Why did you lie to me?”

She takes a deep breath before speaking. “Keanu found your car, (Y/N). You were bleeding, almost dead. And during the two weeks you were in a coma, the doctors found me, and I was in some of the meetings they had to explain your condition. Keanu paid for the best care, so they were fully dedicated to you. And this story was their idea.” Reaching out her hand, she wipes a tear away. “Daniel died only a week before the accident, and that was the reason behind it. You were sad, crying, with the pregnancy test in your bag, so you got overwhelmed in the road and crashed.” Laura makes a small pause as if gathering her thoughts. “Dr. Wright told us back there was a high chance you'd have some kind of brain damage, memory loss. So they asked Keanu if he could... Play this role, putting it in their words. Any kind of stress would put the baby in even more danger, and they thought you'd feel better to know you had someone with you.”

Looking down at your hands, you think about this new information. So Keanu didn't pull this off by himself. You get it now, why some instructions were meant to him. But still, you don't know what to think.

“He didn't want to do it. I was there when he said it wouldn't be fair to you.” Laura squeezes your hand a little. “But both you and the baby could die depending on how you'd receive the news. So he accepted.”

“But Laura, I... I fell for him. Call me an idiot, but I did.” Your voice breaks, and you try really hard not to sob again. “And the worst part is that I still love him. What am I supposed to do now?”

“Keanu fell in love with you too.” She speaks slowly as if knowing it would make you break down a little more. And it does. With both hands covering your face, you cry all over again. “And yes, I spoke to him about it. He... He wanted to tell you everything after your trip to Miami, but he couldn't.”

“Why are you helping him?” You mutter, holding back a sob.

“I'm just telling you the truth. All of it.” Moving to sit beside you, she hugs one of the spare pillows. “After the... The first time you slept together was the first time Keanu called me. Before it was always me calling to get some updates on your condition.” Turning your head to look at her, you put a strand of hair behind your ear. “He was feeling so guilty, he couldn't believe what he did.”

“What did he say?”

“He cursed himself for not stopping. For keeping the lie for so long. He was about to tell you everything but I had to stop him because the doctors were still worried about your state.”

There's a war happening inside you. Your brain tells you to forget Keanu, to move away from New York, to hate him for all the lies. But the heart, wild creature, says otherwise. It aches for him, it calls, it longs for him. And you want to cave in.

“I hate that I love him.” You mumble, hands caressing your belly. This isn't how you thought the pregnancy would end.

“Can I... Can I ask you something? On Keanu's behalf?” Laura speaks low, and you furrow your eyebrows before looking at her. “I know he's not the father, but he does love your child as if he was... So, please... If you do love him, even if you hate the way you feel, don't take the child away from him. At least... At least let him visit, wherever you decide to go, if you decide to go somewhere else.”

Her words make more tears roll down. It may not be fair with Daniel, but you do wish Keanu was the father. Liam knows his voice, as well as he knows yours. Ever since the obstetrician said the baby could listen and was able to distinguish the voices, you both started talking even more to the bump. You wonder if he'd miss Keanu as much as you already do.

“I don't know what to do... Liam's bedroom is there.” Your home is there, with him. “Tell me what to do, Laura. And I'll do it.” Begging, you run a hand through your hair.

“I can't. You must figure that out by yourself.” Laura bumps her shoulder against yours playfully. “Have you spoken to Lucia?”

“I still don't like her.”

“You never did.” She adds, giggling. “Neither did Daniel. But I believe she'll head back to Argentina after the baby is born and maybe call once a month and visit on Christmas. But other than that she'll disappear.”

You probably shouldn't feel so relieved, but that's exactly the feeling that washes over you. “Laura... What... Did Keanu had any plans? For what he'd do after telling me the truth?” This is something you've been wondering all night, but still, you're not sure you want to know. But now that the words left your mouth, and there's no way you can take them back.

“(Y/N), Keanu wants to marry you.” Laura's voice gets lower, and as she stares at you, your eyes are glued to the blue wall across the room. “A real wedding. A ceremony, a party... Everything. But he was expecting this.”

“Expecting what?” You burst out.

“That you would never want to meet him again.”

Shaking your head lightly, you look at your hands. Could you even do that? Would you have the strength to stay away from him? It's only been a night and half the day, but you already miss him. “I don't know what to do... And I don't really have much time to think.”

“How close is the baby?”

“Very close. This is week 38, so the doctors said I should be prepared even though it may still take a week or two.” Both your hands lay on your belly, huge and swollen. It started to lower a little, and you know it's another sign that your time is coming. And that makes more tears fill your eyes. “I'm so scared, Laura...”

“I can imagine.” Putting an arm around your shoulders, she kindly smiles. “You know you have me, right? Call and I'll get here as fast as I can. And if you want, you can stay with me. The apartment isn't big and I don't have space for an extra bedroom for the baby but you'll be welcome and we'll make it work.”

“Thank you, Laura.” Crying again, you hug her the best you can with your belly getting in the way.

“You're welcome, honey.” She let go of you, and you take a deep breath. “I'll have to go now, I have a client on the other side of city and it's a hell of a long drive. Will you be ok?”

“Yes.” You won't, but you can't tell her that. “I'll call you if anything happens.”

“Alright, honey.” After some more goodbyes, Laura leaves and you're left alone again.

The silence is deafening. This damn hotel room makes you feel sick, so you lock yourself in the bathroom to take a long shower. It doesn't help. The tears and the water become one, and you can't tell the difference. There's this heavy feeling in your chest, like you're suffocating. Everything you knew ever since you woke up is a lie. Liam is the only real thing, and now, he won't have a father.

“Do you miss him too, baby?” You ask him, voice so weak you can barely hear yourself above the spray of water.

You wish he could answer, you wish some kind of miracle happened to push you in the right direction... And you know, deep inside, that your heart wants this path to lead back to Keanu.

An hour later, you're leaving the bathroom with the towel wrapped around your body, using another to finish drying your hair. Standing by the bed, you pick some clothes from your open baggage, choosing something comfortable to sleep in. Then suddenly, a sharp pain rips through your abdomen, moving down your thighs and back. Bending over, you bite down a groan. When the pain is starting to fade away, you feel something flowing down your thighs, soaking the floor under your feet.

You freeze, trying to process what happened. Moving away from the puddle, you sit on the bed using the towel, still damp because of your hair, to clean your legs the best you can, but another wave of pain comes, making yell this time. It's happening. It's happening right now and you're completely alone. Laura is too far away, and you don't want to call Lucia.

You could call 911. Or the reception, they'd find a way to help, but there's only one person in the world you need right now. And despite your brain telling you not to give in so easily, the pain is becoming greater, ripping through your body, and it feels like you broke a bone on your hip.

Sucking in a sharp breath, you reach for your phone on the nightstand, struggling a little since your sight is all blurry by the tears. When you find his number, you make the call, lying down and pulling your feet up.

“(Y/N)?” He sounds weird, voice weak and sad. But you don't have time to overthink, to try and find answers. You need him immediately. You're about to answer when the pain hits again, and you yell, voice breaking into a cry in the end. “(Y/N), what's going on?”

“My water broke.” You mutter, breathing heavily. “I need you.”

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303

[hoboal87]

Carry On

Pairing : Sam x Reader, Platonic!Dean x Reader

Summary : One year after defeating Chuck, Sam and Dean are still hunting, but you’ve quit the life. When the boys take a vacation that quickly turns into a hunt, none of you expect it to change your lives forever.

Characters : Y/N, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, mentions of Bobby, Jody, Donna and the Girls

Word Count : 3.1k (I tried to keep it below 3k, but...😕)

Warnings : SPOILERS FOR 15X20, Angst, Feels, Fluff (it gets a little gross at the end), A Sprinkling of Pre-Smut, Pregnancy

A/N : This will keep the canon of the finale, and takes place during and after 15x20, but with an added reader insert. This was written as a sequel to “The Tie” but can be read as a stand-alone.

A/N 2 : This is my entry for @negans-lucille-tblr “6k Roll the Dice Challenge.” My prompt is “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace,” which is bolded.

No Beta, all mistakes are my own.

Check out my Masterlist here

You pull another book down from the library wall; everything has been relatively quiet since Jack took over Heaven, Rowena has put a leash on the demons, the only monsters you and the boys had to worry about were run-of-the-mill, so to speak. Adjusting to this new life is easier than you thought it would be, using the last year to learn that without the necessity to hunt, you and Sam were finally free to live your own lives. After Chuck was rendered powerless, you decided to give up hunting for good. Sam won't, you know that, Sam and Dean had been hunting their whole lives, but you were thrust into the life.

You make your way back towards your shared room with Sam, twirling the small diamond ring on your finger, passing Dean’s along the way. You peer inside, glad to see that the once mass trove of empty beer and whiskey bottles were gone. Sure, there’s still a few bottles strewn throughout the room, but nothing like it was before. In the months following Cas’ death, Dean had been a shell of himself, drinking himself into an early grave. He never told you or Sam exactly how Cas summoned the empty, or why it took him along with Billie. Dean always kept himself bottled up, until he would explode, letting his grief out by way of yelling and screaming. Cas’ trench was usually hanging in the corner, but it wasn’t there now, Dean must’ve taken it with him. Dean was still in pain, that much was clear.

Sam and Dean are off at some pie fest, and you opted to stay behind. You waved the boys off, asking Dean to eat a pie just for you. Sam and Dean needed this; brother time. It was something that rarely happened since you joined them over five years ago, even before you were with Sam, you, Cas or Jack were always tagging along. You saw it as the perfect opportunity to take some time for yourself as well, figuring out where you and Sam would go from here. Sam talked about going back to school, finishing his degree and applying to Law School again, he even had you buy him books on LSAT prep. You talked at length about taking the next steps in your relationship, you couldn’t ever get legally married, but you starting planning a ceremony anyway. Before Chuck was gone, you were content to just be, never needing more, afraid that it would be ripped out from under you the minute you let your guard down.

As you settle into your and Sam’s bed, book in hand, you feel as the weight that’s been sitting on your chest has finally lifted, you can breathe. It's been years since you've been able to truly relax, and as much fun as a pie fest sounded, you wanted to stay at the bunker, taking comfort in your and Sam's shared room. They’d only been gone a few days, but you already missed Sam terribly, pathetic, you know. Never in your life would you have imagined wanting and needing someone like you did Sam. The next morning you wake up to a text from Sam. The brothers mini-vacation quickly turned into a vampire hunt, a nest John had hunted years ago. The boys could handle it, you know that much, it's a milk run compared to everything they've fought over the years. Be Safe, Love You. You responded and went on with your day.

Sam always keeps you in the loop when he and Dean go on a hunt without you, providing you with a source of comfort knowing that they’ve killed the bad guy or solved the mystery. But now, they’ve been silent for too long, a nest of Vamps shouldn’t take more than a few days, and you start to worry. You’re heading towards the garage, determined to track down Sam and Dean, and lay it on thick about how worried you were when they went silent. You’re about to open the door to the garage when it swings open and Sam’s long body fills the frame. It startles you at first, even causing Miracle to bark in surprise. You throw your arms around Sam, all anger gone now that he’s back home with you.

“Don’t ever do that again!” You scold Sam. “You know how much I hate it when you and Dean stop responding.” You want to be mad, but you’re so focused on the fact that Sam’s back home with you again, that nothing else seems to matter. “If you’re gonna keep hunting you have to keep me in the loop,” you mumble.

Sam’s body stiffens against your touch. It takes him a minute, but he reciprocates your hug, pulling you tight against him. You stand there, waiting for some smart remark from Dean, normally barking at the two of you to get a room, but there’s nothing but the echo of the Impala’s engine filling the air. You try to pull away from Sam, but his grip around you only tightens, this hunt must have been more difficult than he or Dean anticipated. Head pressed against Sam’s chest, you can hear his heart thumping loudly and rapidly. Dean would never let you and Sam hold on to each other as long as you have.

“Sammy?” You whisper, trying to pull away again. Sam’s grip finally loosens, but his hands don’t leave you as you take a small step back. Your eyes travel upwards, finally landing on Sam’s face, his eyes are bloodshot and puffy, almost as if he has been crying. “Sam? What’s wrong?”

Sam shakes his head as tears fill his eyes.

“Where’s Dean?” You ask as you watch Sam slowly break down. His head nods towards the Impala, and you pull away completely from Sam’s embrace.

You run towards the Impala as fast as your legs can carry you, a swing open the back door, hoping to see Dean’s shining emerald eyes. Tears blur your vision faster than you can comprehend what you’re seeing. Dean’s lifeless body lays in the back seat, all color drained from him. You scan him desperately, waiting for some kind of sign that this is all a cruel prank, that he and Sam were trying to get one over you for not coming with them on this hunt.

But, there’s nothing.

You scream out, falling to your knees, Dean was just as much your brother as he was Sam’s, he was your best friend, and now, he’s gone. Your cries fill the otherwise silent garage, he can’t be dead, not like this, not on some vampire hunt, something he’s done a hundred times before. Not when you know that he was looking to settle down, find some normalcy, or at least normal for him. He deserved to live, he didn’t deserve to die at the hands of a monster.

Dean wasn’t going to be there when you and Sam got married, when you told Sam about the baby you were carrying. God, how were you going to tell him that? Dean was going to help you surprise Sam, as soon as they came home, he was going to start dropping hints, see how long it took Sam to figure it out. But now, you stared at his body, tearing streaming down your face, you couldn’t stop crying if you wanted to. Sam’s strong arms wrap around you, holding you close to him, and you both sit on the floor, unable to do anything but mourn the loss of the elder Winchester.

Through your sobs, you can hear Sam trying to offer you some comfort, assuring you that he went down saving the victims. You could barely process anything he was saying, and if this is how you felt, you can’t even begin to imagine how he feels. Dean was the only real family that Sam had left, there had to be a way to get him back.

“No, baby,” Sam murmurs in your ear through his tears, “I promised him. No bringing him back.” You didn’t realize you had said it out loud. “He wants us to keep going, he wants us to live.”

Three days later you’re surrounded by all the family you’d gained through the boys. Jody, Donna, Claire, Bobby and Charlie plus too many people to keep track of. You and Sam had already given Dean his proper send-off, dividing his ashes between the graveyard where Mary and John were buried and keeping the rest for yourselves. Jody told the story of the first time she’d met the brothers over ten years ago and how she’d come to think of the boys as surrogate sons. Claire talked about the time she and Dean went mini-golfing and how offended he was when she didn’t understand his Caddyshack references. The bunker was full laughter, it was Dean told you he wanted all those years ago.

You and Sam couldn’t stay in the Bunker after that. You’d left it open to all hunters, you’d still come back occasionally, but it was no longer home. You and Sam packed up most of your and Dean’s things, fitting as much as you could into the Impala, knowing that the two rooms would always be off limits to future hunters. Sam nearly slides into the passenger seat when you leave, and you can see it hitting him all over again. Dean’s gone.

You drive around the country for a few weeks, unsure of where to make your new home. Neither of you ever had a real home before moving into the Bunker, and you were the only family you had left now. You settle in Sioux Falls, Jody and the girls were there, Donna was close enough, and if need be, you could be back in Lebanon in a matter of 5 hours.

You find a small house close to where Bobby’s used to be, it is still a salvage yard, but Bobby’s house is long gone. As the weeks pass you don’t know how much longer you can keep your pregnancy hidden from Sam. Every time you try to tell him, it feels wrong; you are both still grieving the loss of Dean, and Sam has fallen into a deep depression. You have Jody take you to your doctor appointments, and she scolds you for not telling Sam, but when she drops you at your new home, and sees the current state of Sam, she backs off.

At your next appointment, she laughs and cries with you when you learn that you were carrying a boy, Dean. When you first told Dean that you were pregnant, he immediately insisted that the newest Winchester should be named after him, “boy or girl!” He insisted, “I’m named after a Deanna.”

“I think the world only needs one Dean Winchester,” you retorted playfully. Now, it seems the perfect way to carry on Dean’s legacy.

When you leave the doctors, you finally realize how obvious it is that you’re pregnant, your stomach rounding out perfectly under your shirt. You’re almost insulted that Sam hasn’t noticed your ever-growing stomach and the extra pounds you’ve put on over the last month, but he hasn't been himself since Dean died. You hadn’t been intimate with him since you settled into your new house, and he spends most of his day sleeping or in a fugue-like state.

Jody insists on taking you shopping for baby supplies, and by the end you’ve got a shopping cart onesies, blankets, something called a diaper genie, and many other things you didn’t even know you needed. As you walk through the store an iron-on name display catches your eye, and you make your way towards it. The names are written in large cursive lettering, and you hope that you can find the right one. You nearly squeal when you do, and find a plain onesie to attach it to.

You’re glad that the baby store carries labeless bags, especially when Sam is up and about when you get home. He looks good today, he’s slightly sweaty, and you know that he left the house and went for a run. He greets you with a quick kiss, a sheen of sweat covering his face, and makes for your room. He eyes the bags in your hands, but doesn’t say anything, and a few minutes later you can hear the shower running. Thank God, you sigh and take the bags into an empty room, Miracle following closely behind you. You set the bags down in what will be baby Dean’s nursery, Jody’s right, you think, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

You find the onesie and the iron-on decal, you place it in the center and carefully attach the decal. After letting it cool you tuck it into a small gift bag. You hear the shower turn off, and make your way back into your bedroom, placing the bag on your bedside table, waiting for Sam to exit the bathroom. You can’t help but stare at him appreciatively when he opens the door, a towel wrapped around his waist. You’re suddenly very aware of how long it's been since you’d been with him. Sam catches you eyeing him, and smirks, sending a jolt straight down to your core. You missed this, not just the sex, but how he takes charge with you, his domineering presence making you melt. He leans over you, and places a tender yet eager kiss on your lips.

You reach for the towel, letting it slide onto the floor as Sam deepens the kiss, and start to work him over in your hands. Sam groans at your touch, and starts to pull at your shirt, pulling his face away just long enough to rid you of it. Sam’s lips are back on yours just as quickly as they were gone. His hands palm at your breasts, and you moan into his hands reach into the overflowing cups, you really loved your pregnancy boobs, but your bras were doing very little to keep them in place. Sam’s hands travel to your back, and undos your bra, letting your breasts fall free. Sam finally opens his eyes when his hands land on your protruding stomach and takes a few steps back.

He quickly pulls on a pair of sweatpants as you pull your shirt back over your head, trying you best not to cry as he starts pacing the floor of your bedroom. You wait for him to say something, anything; you weren’t trying when you realized you were pregnant. You’d just gone off your birth control, and everyone told you it would take at least a few months for your body to get back to its natural cycle. You both knew it was possible but figured you’d have at least 6 months before really actively trying for a baby.

Sam’s face is almost unreadable; you can’t tell if he’s happy or mad, if he’ll tell you it’s too soon, that he’s not ready. He opens and closes his mouth multiple times, as if he can’t figure out what to say. If Dean were here, he’d probably knock him upside his head, telling him this exactly what he’s always wanted.

“How– why–” Sam stammers as you move to the edge of the bed. “Are you– You’re pregnant.” He says it almost as if it’s a question and you nod your head. “How long?” There’s almost an accusation in his voice, you’re sure it’s not intentional, but it doesn’t make you feel any better.

“18 weeks,” you murmur, trying to hold back your tears. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but it’s– it never seemed to be the right time. When you and Dean–” Sam winces at the mention of Dean’s name, you hadn’t said it out loud in almost a month, not since you left the Bunker. “I found out right before you left, I was going to tell you when you got back. But… after… I was afraid that you’d say it wasn’t the right time. That it was too soon.”

“It is too soon,” Sam mutters under his breath, you’re sure it’s not meant to be malicious, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “You said it would take at least 6 months.”

“It’s different for everyone,” you offer, as Sam runs his hands through his hair, still pacing in front of you. “Please, Sam, can you sit down? You’re freaking me out.” Sam moves to the edge of the bed, and sits down next to you.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Sam whispers, eyeing your belly. “I don’t know how– I don’t know how to be a dad.”

“Yes, you do,” you grab his hand, and place it on your belly. “Dean taught you everything you would ever need to know.”

Sam smiles sadly, “I ever tell you about the night I left for Stanford?” You shake your head. “Dad and me, we got into this huge fight. So of course, Dean steps in– gets between us, attempts to calm us, but we were both just– just too fucking stubborn to listen.” He removes his hand, focusing down on them as he fidgets. “When dad said don’t come back, I called his bluff, and I was– I was so pissed at Dean, I thought he was taking Dad’s side, that I didn’t even say bye to him. I didn’t have it myself to go with grace. I walked away from him, the only family that I had, and I regretted it for years. I- I feel like he should be the one here, that- that we’re moving on too quickly.”

“Dean, he– he wouldn’t want you, us, to live like this, we owe it to him to keep fighting, to live our lives. I know how much you miss him,” a tear slips from Sam’s eye. “I miss him too, but you know what keeps me going everyday?” Sam shakes his head, and you take his hand in yours again, and place it back on the swell of your belly just as little Dean decides to kick for the first time. The smile on Sam’s face is instant, you can’t stop the happy tears from falling as Sam shifts in front of you, and lays his head on your swollen stomach. “Our son.”

Sam cries, truly cries for the first time since the day he brought home Dean’s body. You hold him against you, he’s been so pent up for the last 3 months, bottling up his emotions, he needs this, you both do. You’d been so focused on the baby growing inside of you never realized that you hadn’t realized that Sam had never come to terms with Dean’s death.

“It’s a boy?” Sam asks as his cries cease. “We’re having a son?”

“We’re having a son,” you nod, and hand Sam the gift bag still sitting on your bedside table.

Sam opens the bag, and you smile as he pulls out the green onesie, his eyes lighting up as he reads the lettering.

“You’re sure?” He questions.

“The world lost one Dean Winchester, let’s give it another.”

Please give let me know what you think! Reblog or send an ask

Forever Tags:

@that-one-gay-girl​

@akshi8278​

[dreamypeaches]

let’s hear it for the boy | jj maybank x reader

summary: you take on the role of jj’s hype woman as his insecurities begin to overwhelm him.

warnings: alcohol use, cursing, allusions to sex

word count: 2k

a/n: i listened to this song (let’s hear it for the boys by deniece williams) on the way to work the other day and couldn’t stop thinking about how much it applies to jj. so here’s this tooth rotting fluff fic. i threw another parks and rec reference in. idk what it is but jj and his girl give me subtle april and andy vibes. enjoy :)

This was not the first time you had ended up like this with JJ. Curled up on his bed in the Chateau, holding him close as he complained about his dad or the Kooks or just life in the Outer Banks. Tonight was different though. JJ had fallen deeper into his thoughts than ever before, picking out every one of his flaws and insecurities and laying them out bare for you.

You listened with a frown on your face as your boyfriend continued to shit on himself. Usually you would stay quiet, inserting kind words here and there, but letting him vent to you until he was finished or he fell asleep. Tonight, however, you had to interrupt when JJ took it too far.

“I’m such a piece of shit, Y/N, why are you even with me? You should just fucking leave, I’m sure you would be a lot happier.”

“Hey!” You nearly shouted, causing JJ to jump from your arms and turning to look at you with wide eyes. You sat up on your knees, taking JJ’s face in your hands and forcing him to look at you. You’d had enough. Tonight, you were going to tell this magnificent boy in front of you just how amazing he is.

“I love you, JJ! I’m not going anywhere! You are the most amazing person I have ever met!”

JJ’s eyes softened slightly at the words, but right now is insecurity was louder than your voice.

“You shouldn’t be with a guy like me. I’m going to hurt you, Y/N. I’m going to say something I don’t mean and fuck it all up because that’s just who I am. I’m just a dirty Pogue from the Cut.”

You released his head and shook your own.

“JJ, you can’t really believe that.” You spoke. Words of encouragement and adoration tumbled from your lips as you began to discuss exactly why JJ was the best man in the world.

He ain't got much to say

But he loves me, loves me, loves me

I know that he loves me anyway

JJ always had a way with words. He could lie his way out of any situation and charm himself into another one. Hell, he had found a way to charm you into his life. But when he finally had you, he started falling for you hard. The words suddenly became stuck in his throat, all the love and emotions he felt for you falling to the wayside. It frustrated him, not being able to find the words to tell you how much he loved you. You knew though.

With you, JJ didn’t have a way with words, he had a way of making you feel loved with just a single touch. The way he held you close to him at a Kegger, his hand in yours helping you onto the Pogue, the passionate kisses and bruising grip on your hips as he pounded into you. He didn’t have to say it. You knew he loved you, beyond a doubt.

And maybe he don't dress fine

But I don't really mind

'Cause every time he pulls me near

I just wanna cheer

Your sister was getting married, and all the Pogues were invited. Standing in your bridesmaids dress by your parents at the entrance to the venue, you saw the familiar orange van pull up and the door slide open. John B jumped out with Sarah, wearing a nice shirt and pants that his girlfriend surely picked out for him. Pope was next, and you recognized the suit he was wearing as the same one he wore to his scholarship interview. In a beautiful, but simple sundress, Kiara popped out behind Pope. Trailing behind them, your eyes softened at your boyfriend, who wore the only button up shirt he owned with a pair of khaki cargo shorts, his usual black boots, and his signature red hat sitting backward on his head. You felt your mother tense up beside you, leaning over to whisper in your ear, “What on earth is JJ wearing?”

You ignored your mom, too busy grinning at your approaching boyfriend. His grin was just as wide, scooping you up in his arms and kissing you hard.

“Hello my beautiful girlfriend!”

“Hi my interestingly dressed boyfriend.” He put you down, stepping back and looking down at himself before meeting your eyes.

“What’s wrong with my outfit?” He questioned with a furrowed brow. You giggled and pulled him back to you, shaking your head.

“Nothing, baby, you look amazing,” You said truthfully.

“Damn right I do.”

Let's hear it for the boy

Let's give the boy a hand

Let's hear it for my baby

JJ buried his face in your chest as you spoke. You ran your finger though his hair, feeling him groan as you finish talking about the wedding.

“God, that fit was so terrible.”

“Yeah, it was, but it was also super adorable, just like you.”

He groaned again making you giggle.

“Do remember what happened at the reception though?” You asked. He shook his head and peeked up at you. A small smile on your face, you recount the night with stars in your eyes.

You know you gotta understand

Maybe he's no Romeo

But he's my loving one-man show

Let's hear it for the boy

JJ held you close on his lap as you sat with the rest of the Pogues. You watched your sister dancing with her new wife, a small smile on your face. Kiara poked you, stealing your attention away.

“So, when are you two gonna tie the knot?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows. The hands on your thighs tightened their grip and you turned to look at JJ. He had a drunken smirk on his face as he gazed down at you.

“What do you say, sunshine? Wanna get married? Wedding sex is always amazing, imagine what it’s like when your the one getting married,” He said, winking.

You scoffed, turning back around and getting up from his lap.

“How romantic, J,” You say before walking off toward the bar. Kie slapped the back of JJ’s head, giving him a look that said What the hell?

JJ sighs and stands, following after you.

“Baby…” JJ stands before you as you take your drink from the bartender, not meeting his eyes. He grips your hip with one hand, the other gently taking your chin and tilting it up. You sigh and push his arm away.

“It’s fine, JJ, I know you were just joking.”

“What makes you say that?”

You freeze looking back at him, stomach fluttering at the sincere look on his face. Taking your hand, he pulls you closer, brushing your hair behind your ear and resting his palm on your cheek.

“I want to marry you, sunshine, more than anything. I’m sorry for the shit proposal, but I’ll make it up you.”

You grin up at him.

“Promise?”

He leans down, lips ghosting over yours.

“Promise.”

JJ was on his side now, head propped up on his hand. He was smiling down at you as he remembered the night with you.

“I still haven’t made it up to you.”

“Oh you have, a million times over.”

My baby may not be rich

He's watching every dime

But he loves me, loves me, loves me

We always have a real good time

Dates with JJ were always special. He pulled out all the stops, using whatever tips or extra cash he had made that week to get you a special dinner or a gift. Some weeks were less successful than others, and this was one of them. Most of his money had gone to his bike, which was in the shop. But his empty wallet wasn’t going to stop him from showing his girlfriend a good time.

You grinned as you pulled up to the Chateau, seeing your boyfriend waiting for you near the dock. You hopped out of your car and raced down to him, jumping into his arms. After a long kiss, you rest your forehead on his.

“How was your day?” You ask.

“Better now that I have you, sunshine.”

He sets you down and takes your hand, leading you down the dock to the HMS Pogue. A blanket is laid out in the back with some pillows scattered around, along with a cooler with two wine glasses sitting on top of it. JJ helps you into the boat, kissing your hand before releasing it and moving to start the boat.

The colors of the sunset are painting the sky in beautiful oranges, purples, and pinks by the time JJ stops the boat and throws down the anchor. He joins you on the blanket, opening up the cooler and pulling out a bottle of wine, a carton of strawberries, and a jar of Nutella. As he popped open the bottle and poured the wine into the glass, you shook your head at him.

“J, you’ve really out done yourself.”

He grins, handing you your glass.

“Yeah, well, wait till you taste the wine. It was like twelve bucks at the gas station.”

“I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same, and if you spend more than $15 on wine, then you are very stupid.”

JJ raised his glass with a wink, “I’ll drink to that.”

You spend the rest of the night cuddling on the Pogue, eating strawberries and getting wine drunk, watching as the colorful sky faded into a dark, sparkling one. As you got ready to head back to shore, you pulled JJ in for a passionate kiss.

“How did I get so lucky?” You questioned.

“Nah, sunshine, I’m the lucky one.”

And maybe he sings off-key

But that's all right by me, yeah

A karaoke machine, some cheap liquor, and a very drunk JJ Maybank was an amazing combination. Being just as drunk, if not drunker, you couldn’t stop your laughter as the love of your life terribly sang Dear Maria, Count Me In at the top of his lungs. He fell into your lap, face scrunched together at the intensity with which he was singing. You clapped louder than any of the other Pogues, who were just as far gone as you, as JJ sang the final words. He dropped his head dramatically, looking up quickly to sweep his hair out of his face without touching it. As JJ took your hand, pulling you up for a duet, you silently thanked Kie’s parents for cleaning out their basement and not throwing away the shitty karaoke machine from Kiara’s 11th birthday.

'Cause what he does, he does so well

Makes me wanna yell

Let's hear it for the boy

“I love you, J. You’re the greatest person in the whole fucking universe, aliens included. You’re the best friend and the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you differently.”

You rolled over to straddle JJ, taking his head in your hands.

Let's give the boy a hand

Let's hear it for my baby

“I love you, JJ Maybank. I will scream it from the rooftops because everyone needs to know that I am dating the most amazing man I have ever known. But right now, I want just you to hear it. You’re amazing, JJ Maybank.”

You kiss his cheek.

“You’re the funniest guy.”

You kiss the other cheek.

“You have great music taste, but a terrible singer.”

You kiss an eyelid,

“You plan the most amazing dates.”

then the other.

“You make me feel loved.”

A kiss on the forehead.

“Cherished.”

A kiss on the chin.

“Adored.”

You dive in for an intense and hungry kiss, soon pulling away to look deep into his crystal blue eyes.

“Loved.” You whisper. His arms wrap around your back, pulling you close to bury hie head in your chest. You feel tears begin to soak your shirt as he trails kisses across the exposed skin of your collarbone.

“God, I love you so much, sunshine. You’re my whole fucking world.”

He pulls you down for another kiss, rolling you over onto your back. His hands wander your body as he prepares to make you feel as good as you make him.

Let's hear it for the boy

Let's hear it for my man

Let's hear it for my baby

taglist + moots: @jjmaybby @dontjinx-it @butgilinsky @rekrappeter @diverdcwn @rafecameron @prejudic3 @starlightstarkey @https-luna @sunnypogue @obxmxybxnk @jjmayybank @bluesiderudy @socialwriter @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @jjbinghams @outerbanksbro @poguestyleskye @softstarkey @bricksatanakinswindow @drewsephsmiles @poguemackin @downbytheouterbanks @ilovejjmaybank @diverrdown @broken-jj

[holylulusworld]

Give a little bit of your heart to me

Summary: Dean wanted a bit of your heart; you gave him it all only to feel it breaking.

Pairing: Mobster!Dean x Reader, Mobster!John x Reader (platonic)

Character: Ellen Harvelle, Ruby, Sam Winchester

Warning: arranged marriage, angst, mentions of divorce, pregnant reader, comforting, remorse, fluff, misunderstandings

‘Give a little bit, give a little bit of your heart to me,’ back then you smiled at Dean’s words, knowing he got forced into this marriage too. Your father and John Winchester wanted to form a strong bond between the two mightiest empires, so you and John’s eldest had to marry.

You had not seen Dean for a lifetime, but you still remembered the funny, cocky, and green-eyed boy with so many freckles you could never count them.

A tiny piece of your heart always beat for him, so it was easy for you to give Dean not only a little bit of your heart but the whole damn beating thing. Now it is a broken mess, a bleeding pulp that will never heal.

“I’ll pack as fast as possible, John,” your voice broken, defeated you place the golden band, and your engagement ring into his hand. “I know it was an arranged marriage, but I thought after five years I know your son.”

“Y/N,” murmuring your name John watches you subconsciously rub your belly. “Do you have to tell me anything, doll?”

“Your son is a lying son of bitch who just left me,” you huff, walking toward the house you shared with Dean. 

“I will go and tell my father the arrangement is over, John. You will have to clarify the details as daddy will get mad,” you flinch at the thought of facing your father. “You don’t want to see him mad, John.”

“Doll, wait,” sighing John grasps your wrist. “I know about the baby and can’t let you leave. It’s my grandchild, my heir.” Your stomach tightens looking up at John. “Your life, it never was yours in the first place, Y/N. I’ll give you all you need, but you have to stay and raise your child as a Winchester.”

“I can’t,” voice cracking you blink the tears away. “I should leave before Dean returns.”

You would run away, hide somewhere but honestly, you have got nowhere to go. Not with John Winchester wanting your child and your father insisting on a bond with Dean.

“This is my house, my manor, not Dean’s. You will move into my part of the house and Dean will shut his mouth. When he comes back, I will set him straight,” John slings his arm around your shoulders, not missing the hopelessness in your eyes when you agree to follow him.

“It’s not as if I got anywhere to go, John. At least you will get what you always wanted, an heir for your empire,” you whisper bitterly, missing John’s pained expression when tears roll down your cheeks. “As you said, my life never was mine.”

“You said I can divorce her after five years! I want to be free again, Sir,” Dean yells. “I was the perfect husband and partner. I played my part, now play yours,” his words make your legs wobble and fresh tears run down your cheeks.

Dean lied. This whole time he made you believe he loves you too. Façade. Charade. A foul play, that is what you are to him. He made a deal and now he wants out.

“John, let him out,” your voice meek, thin, and all the fight gone from your eyes you rub your arms nervously. “If he wants out, let him out.”

“See, she doesn’t want to stay married either,” Dean wants to touch your arm to thank you for your words, but you flinch away, jerking your arm out of his grip.

“Don’t touch me,” your voice cracks now but you fight the tears. “You want to be free, be free. Lucky you, Dean. I never had a chance and are stuck here as…,” you run away before you tell Dean about the baby, his baby.

“What’s wrong with her?” John shakes his head at his son’s behavior. “Father, why did Y/N look as if she’s hurt? I thought she didn’t want this marriage.”

“You really are a blind, my son. I suggest you’ll leave her alone and turn your attention toward the girl you want to leave Y/N for,” walking away John leaves his son alone with his thoughts.

“I thought she wanted to divorce too, Sir. Wait, hey, wait up,” Dean jogs after his father grasping for John’s wrist. “Talk to me.”

“I want you to take care of Crowley, Dean. You’ll be out of town for a month or two and can rethink your decision,” John sighs deeply. “If you still want to divorce Y/N I will not stop you. I’ll take care of the mess you left, as always.”

Dean did not say goodbye before he left to deal with Crowley. To be honest, it would have been too hard to see rejection, maybe even triumph in his eyes.

“He’ll be back in a month or two, Y/N. Enough time for him to come to his mind and realize what he’s about to lose,” you nod, what else can you do when the most powerful and dangerous mobster tells you his opinion.

“I will go to my room, goodnight John,” watching you leave John hates he has to force you to stay but with your father insisting on not breaking the bond he’s got no other choice than to protect his heir, the future of his empire.

Three weeks passed without a word from Dean, not that you believed he would at least call to tell you he’s alright. While you lie on the bed in the room John offered to you, the door opens once again.

Over the last weeks, John took care of you, watched over you like a mother hen, not that you would ever dare to call the mobster like that.

“You need to eat something, doll. Ellen made chicken, peas, carrots, and mashed potatoes.”

“I am not hungry, or rather the moment I eat anything I have to run to the bathroom. Breakfast ended up in the toilette, just like the apple I ate,” you do not turn around, not wanting John to stay longer than needed.

“Listen, I know this is a fucked-up situation, but you’ll get up, have a shower, and come to join me in my living room. We can watch one of those movies Dean hates so much,” John sits onto your bed, gently patting your hand. “Mary, she had problems with Dean too. I made her fennel tea.”

You would laugh about John acting like a nurse, but you know he means well, tries to make the best out of a bad situation. “Okay, I’ll be there after a shower.”

“If you need anything else, tell me or Ellen so,” you nod, glancing at John who places your wedding band and engagement ring onto the nightstand. “I am sure, when Dean comes back he’ll apologize, Y/N.”

You nod silently, knowing John is wrong about Dean. Your husband does not give a shit on you, to be honest…

“Better,” while you sip on the fennel tea John insisted to make you nod, faking it did make you feel better. “Just relax and watch, uh-erm,” glancing at the movie John rubs his scruffy chin. “What are we watching?”

“I don’t know,” mumbling the words you look at the huge TV, not following the story at all. “I just zapped around and ended up watching that movie. She looked pretty in her wedding dress, though.”

“Y/N, you need to stop acting as if you are a prisoner or worse. I know you believe I want you to stay because of the baby inside your belly, and I want you to but,” John wraps one arm around your shoulders, letting you rest your head against his shoulder, “I want to keep you safe.”

“Dad would get mad when he gets to know I made Dean leave. He would believe I manipulated our marriage to get out or something similar, John. My family is not used to give comfort. They are all hard, calculated, and power-hungry,” you glance at your belly, slowly rubbing it. 

“You’re showing,” John covers your hand, squeezing it tightly. “Just a little but I see the difference.”

“You mean I got fat,” giggling you blink the tears away. “There is no reason for Dean to like me, you know. I guess, he had to imagine someone else to get intimate with me. I am such a fool…”

“Doll, get down here and join us for dinner,” John grumbles when you refuse to come down to eat with Sam, Ruby, Ellen, and John.

“No! Nothing fits any longer, John. I look like a wale!” You yell back. “I will not go downstairs wearing a too-tight dress or crap!”

“Jesus, Y/N. You are three months pregnant, not a wale. Come downstairs or I’ll send Sam to drag you down or Ruby,” Ruby glares at John, pointing her knife at the mobster. 

“I am not a threat,” she grunts, watching you slowly pat down the stairs. “There she is! A pretty mama!”

“A wale,” grumbling you walk toward the table in a too-tight shirt and shorts which do not cover your belly. You baby bump peeks out of the shirt and John smirks, holding back a chuckle as you glare at him.

“You look beautiful, doll. Now sit, eat and we can talk about baby names,” John pulls your chair, smirking as you wiggle on the seat to get comfortable.

“How about Dexter,” Ruby smirks watching you narrow your eyes.

“Samuel?” Sam tries and you toss a napkin at the tall mobster who grins at you.

“John Winchester Jr.,” John exclaims, and you groan, hiding your face in the palms of your hands. “J. Jr.,” he tries again, and you shake your head silently.

“John Henry Winchester,” not giving in John tries to convince you but you stay adamant. “It’s a great name for your baby.”

“Not for a girl, John!” You grunt and everyone cheers at the table as you finally told them the gender. “You son of a bitch!” Head snapping upward you purse your lips when John gives you a grin. 

“That’s my line, sweetheart,” Dean snickers, waltzing into the room. If it’s possible for him to look even better after three months he does look better. His hair longer, chin scruffy and his eyes sparkling he looks around the room. “What? No welcome back?”

“Welcome back, son. How were the deal, Mexico, and the weather?” John clears his throat when you silently get up to leave the room. “Y/N, you didn’t eat anything. Stay.”

“I lost my appetite, John. I’ll sleep a bit or whatever,” voice trembling you rush out of the room, not caring John calls your name repeatedly.

“Did I just kill the mood,” Dean blinks a few times, glancing at his family. “What did I do?”

“Uh-let’s start with you leaving your wife. You not calling for over three months or the fact you want to divorce her,” Ruby deadpans. “Maybe her current state makes her even more vulnerable.”

“Current state? Is she sick?” Dean gasps, glancing at the untouched food. “Why did she ran upstairs? Our bedroom is opposite.”

“She lives in John’s guest wing as you wanted her to leave, dude,” Sam grits out. “What did you believe would happen? That Y/N would wait for you to kick her out.”

“I just,” sighing Dean drops his bags before he walks toward the stairs. “I got to talk to her. I mean, she’s my wife, right?”

John rolls his eyes, close to saying something he will regret. “Not for much longer. You are back, you still want to divorce her so I can marry her,” John lies, a dirty grin on his lips. “I’d like to have a younger wife.”

“You, what?” Choking on his words Dean balls his hands into fists. “You said I shall think about divorce, not that you would ram your teeth into my wife!”

“Ex-wife, Dean. If you want out of this marriage, I will not stop you but,” John smirks devilish, “someone has to take care of Y/N and her needs.”

“If you touched my wife I’ll castrate you,” Dean threatens, bumping his chest against John’s. “I thought she wants out of the marriage. I never said I will let you touch my girl, you vulture. Go and get a random girl. This one is mine.”

Dean storms off, still cursing when the door slams shut behind him with a loud bang. “I should’ve said something sooner,” John snickers. “I woke the alpha. Imagine what he’ll do hearing she’s having his baby.”

“You’re the devil, John Winchester,” Ellen laughs at Ruby’s words, nodding eagerly. “I like your style, sometimes.”

“Son of a bitch, Y/N! Did he touch you? Did my fath…,” Dean’s eyes widen, his jaw goes slack, and you can see the color drain from his face when you step into the bedroom, showing off your baby bump. “Y/N,…sweetheart?”

“What brought you here, Dean? Do I have to sign the papers,” you sigh, sitting onto the bed, not meeting Dean’s gaze. “I think John prepared everything. We only have to sign the papers and you can go to that girl you want.”

“There is no girl, Y/N,” mumbling the words Dean kneels in front of the bed, not taking his eyes from your swollen belly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He looks up at you, searching your face.

“You wanted out of this marriage. It thought you wouldn’t care or worse,” you huff, grabbing the blanket to cover your body. “Doesn’t matter anymore. I am trapped to stay here. John’s order. You can go and party or whatever you planned to do without me dragging you down.”

“Sweetheart,” his hand trembles when he moves it under the blanket to touch your bump. “My baby is inside your belly. I never thought I’ll be a father one day.”

“Dean, you are free to go and leave this to me,” not wanting to see him pity you, you scramble away, crawling toward the pillow to sleep the hurting off. “Leave me alone and got to that girl.”

“I told you, there is no other girl, Y/N,” Dean sounds angry when he kicks his shoes off, crawling onto the bed to lie next to you. He’s burying his face into your neck, inhaling your scent. “You smell like vanilla and lilac. I’ve missed your scent, your soft skin, your lips on mine.”

“Sure,” you grunt, angrily clenching your fists. “That’s the reason you did not call and gave a shit on me for three months, Dean.”

“Y/N, I was kinda undercover to find out what’s Crowley planning. I could not call my wife or crap. I had to be as invisible as possible,” he’s moving closer to wrap his arms around your waist. “I swear, I wanted freedom for you, nothing else.”

“You wanted my heart, and I gave it to you only to get hurt,” Dean listens to your words, hating he made you feel that way. “I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N. Let me make it right.”

“How? By pretending you love me too,” you huff, turning in his embrace to slap his face. “I am done listening to your lies.”

“Love? You love me,” Dean scoots closer to cup your face, ignoring your angry look. “Fuck me,” his lips press against yours and you must use all your strength to break free.

“What the fuck Dean!”

“My wife loves me,” he smirks, glancing at your belly, “and I knocked her up. Now back to my father touching you.”

“Gosh, John would never touch me, not that this is any of your business, Winchester.” You glare at Dean when he tries to touch your belly. 

“I am sorry, Y/N. I promise to be the husband you deserve if you give me the chance to. I know asking for divorce without talking to you was stupid, but I thought you want out,” Dean pecks your lips, rubbing your belly slowly. “I heard you talking to Ruby and wanted to let you go.”

“I don’t understand, Dean. I never said I want out of our marriage. I said I want to get out of this house,” you groan, frustrated.

“Exactly!”

“I didn’t want to live with your father, brother, and their girlfriends. I wanted a place of our own, Dean.” Dean starts laughing, even throws his head back.

“I guess next time I should listen closely,” he is rubbing your belly, smiling as you cover his hand with yours. “I don’t want out of this marriage, Y/N.”

“Is that a lie again or can I have a little bit of your heart too?” Dean pecks your lips, gently stroking your cheek. “Sweetheart, you can have the whole damn thing…”

Part 2

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx​​​​

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--------------------------------------

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

@spnfamily-j2​​​

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@myopiamystical​​​​

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@isthatabutterfly​

@bluecornflowers​​​​

@rosalynshields​​​​

A/N: If your name is crossed out Tumblr won’t let me tag you.

[itsadamcole]

arranged

fem!reader x drew mcintyre

reader was just a regular American girl who has some royal family members in Scotland. Drew is the heir to the Scottish throne, and he needed to marry to become king. Drew and reader were married only days after they met, making reader a Scottish princess. both were against the wedding. now, the two want nothing to do with each other unless they have to attend a public event, until one night ...

word count: 3.6k

warnings: prince!drew, arguments, arranged marriage (ig that's what you can call it?), angst, a tiny bit of fluff

— this was originally gonna be one part but now it’s two bc that’s just the way the writing brought me. this was also gonna go in a completely different direction than it did but now this is it. enjoy —

part 2 || masterlist || request an imagine here

***

You're getting ready in your chambers. The maids are helping you get ready for the annual New Years Ball that the royal family of Scotland puts on every January 1st. Your long Y/H/C colored hair is being curled by one of the maids while another does your makeup. A third maid is making sure your dress and shoes are ready for you for when your hair and makeup are done.

Balls are not your thing. Actually, going out in public with your husband is not your thing. It's only a few times a week but you're not all about the fake smiles and hand-holding when you were never supposed to marry him anyway.

Being a princess was not on your list of things to be in life. You were an up and rising professional wrestler. Your great Aunt Blair asked you to come to Scotland to meet someone while you were wrestling on Ring of Honor. You had no idea that she meant that she actually volunteered you to marry the heir to the Scottish throne.

The maid doing your hair throws some little white flowers with a sparkly silver lining on the end of the petals. The maid doing your makeup has done a silver smokey eye look with some highlight, blush, and nude lipstick color.

Your nails were done earlier in the day. You got an acrylic French manicure. The nails are kind of long and oval-shaped.

"Princess," one of the maids says. "Yer dress is ready for ya when ya're."

You look at the ballgown hanging up in your large closet and sigh softly.

Once your hair and makeup are done, you get up. One of the maids grabs the dress. You take off the long, silky robe and the dress is pulled over your head. You're zipped up and the maids puff out the skirt.

The silver ball gown is very poofy with a small trail. The dress is strapless and very sparkly. The neck dips down a little bit. The top is tight and gets poofy at the waist. You put on silver heels to match the dress.

You put on silver earrings and a necklace, as well as your diamond engagement ring and silver wedding band.

There's a knock on your door as one of the maids put on a silver tiara since you are the princess of Scotland. Another one answers the door.

"Oh, yer highness," she says, bowing. "The princess is almost ready."

A male voice says, "Thank ya, Miss Arabel." Your husband, Drew, is at the door.

After some finishing touches, you're finally ready. You walk up to the door and look at Drew, who's dressed nicely in a black and white suit with a silver tie to match you. His hair in a neat ponytail on the back of his head. He's also wearing his wedding band.

"Ready?" he asks. You can hear the annoyance in his voice.

You nod and mumble, "Sure."

Drew hooks his arm with yours and the two of you head down to the ballroom.

You wait at the door with Drew's father and brother. The royal family is announced together. Drew's father, the King of Scotland, says, "Y/N, ya look stunning. Doesn't she, Drew?" He looks at his eldest son.

Drew just nods and says, "Sure, it's a little too much though."

Anger rises within you as Drew's dad signals for the door to be opened. The guard at the door opens the door and another guard yells, "Introducing the Royal Family of Scotland. The king, Andrew, Prince Drew, Princess Y/N, and Prince John."

Music plays and a fake smile forms on your lips as you follow Drew's father into the large ballroom. Most of the room is made of gold and a large chandelier hangs on the ceiling.

"The princess looks stunning."

"Look at the princess."

The comments make you blush and the fake smile turns real. Drew looks down at you without you knowing.

You and Drew mingle, talking with guests together. Drew steals occasional glances at you but you don't notice as you laugh with the guests.

Being an American, you're still learning about all the Scottish traditions. You've only been over here for a few months so everyday is a learning experience. The guests ask what you did for the holidays with Drew and his family since it's your first time in the country.

"Oh, we celebrated Christmas the way we do in America," you explain to the guests who asked. "Christmas Eve dinner, presents on Christmas morning, and Christmas dinner on Christmas Day. Drew and I also watched some Christmas movies that night. I've heard that Scotland's Christmas traditions are similar to America's."

You added the part about Drew to make it seem like you and your husband actually spent time together on Christmas. After dinner, you went off to your separate chambers and you watched Christmas movies over FaceTime with your friend who now works in NXT, Candice LeRae.

The guests are all very interested. Then the music changes and Drew asks, "M'lady, may I have this dance?"

You look up at Drew and say, "Uh, yeah. Sure." He takes your hand and you excuse yourself from the small group and walk to the dance floor with Drew.

He takes one of your hands in his and the other goes to your waist. You hold up your very poofy skirt so you don't trip.

The dance is slow at first, to make sure you don't trip. Once you're both in sync with each other and you're sure you won't trip, Drew speeds up the movements.

"Wow," Drew says. "My toes aren't bruised yet. Looks like those dance lessons 're paying off."

You stare up at Drew, who is standing tall above you at six foot five. "You're so funny, Drew," you say, rolling your eyes. "I almost peed from laughing so hard."

Drew says, "And there's the sarcasm I absolutely just love about ya."

"As if you love anything about me," you mumble to yourself.

The air turns tense and he says, "Ya could only wish that I'd love ya, or anything about this relationship."

Rolling your eyes, you say, "Maybe if you spent time with me, maybe you'd actually start liking things about this relationship. You only married me to become king when your father relinquishes the crown in a few months."

He looks around and says in a hush tone, "Believe it or not, Y/N, but I married ya for several reasons. Yes, I needed t'marry t'become king but I was excited to start a family. Then ya got here and were nothing like I expected. Yeah, I have an attitude with ya but that's because ya have one with me all the time."

Annoyance rises within you and you say, "I gave up my career to come here. I gave up my dreams of wrestling for WWE and winning titles for the company. I'm not happy I'm in this marriage, Drew. I married a stranger and you're still a stranger to me."

Guests start to look at you and Drew so he takes your hand and whisks you off to a more private area in one of the hallways. You trip over your gown as you follow closely behind Drew.

The door closes and now you're alone with Drew. He looks at you and says, "I'm sorry that ya gave up wrestling to come here and marry me, Y/N. I'm not that happy about it either but if I wanted t'succeed my father then I had'ta marry someone, and that someone is ya."

"You could've picked someone in the country, Drew," you say. "Seriously, you had to pick me."

Drew says, "Yer aunt spoke very highly of ya when she would visit my father. When my father told me I needed t'marry, my mind went t'ya. I didn't think about the repercussions ya would face when I told my father I wanted ya t'be my wife."

Sighing, you say, "Wrestling was taken away from me and I moved away to a country to marry a prince. It's been overwhelming for me and you are nowhere to be seen. I've been taking princess lessons for months and I'm still struggling. It doesn't help I'm alone, Drew, in a foreign country. I don't even have wrestling anymore because I 'can't risk getting hurt'. It's not a fairytale ending like in the books."

There's a silence between the two of you before Drew says, "It still can be"

You look at Drew and ask, "What does that mean?"

He meets your eyes and suddenly you feel butterflies. You've never felt butterflies in your stomach since meeting Drew.

"I just thought that maybe before the coronation that maybe we can go t'America and see a few wrestling shows," he says slowly. "I'm a big fan myself."

Everyday in Scotland is a learning experience. You didn't know that he was a wrestling fan.

You say, "I'd, uh, like that."

Drew slowly takes your hand and he says, "I also thought that maybe we can share a room together like a married couple should."

Confused, you say, "It was your idea to have the separate chambers since we 'didn't have to be married within the four walls of the castle'. At least that's what you told me."

He says, "Contrary to popular belief, I actually do like ya, Y/N. Why do ya think my mind went t'ya when asked if there was someone I wanted t'marry? The girls in this country are beautiful, don't get me wrong, but ya. There's just something about ya that peeks my interests."

You stare up at Drew and for a second before you say, "We've been married for months and this is all coming out now."

"We've never had this conversation until now," Drew says, shrugging his shoulders a bit. "By the way, ya do look stunning in that dress. Shows yer personality really well."

You get flustered and say, "You said it was too much."

Drew chuckles and says, "I'm just that good of a liar, I guess."

A little bit of annoyance creeps up and you say, "Stop lying to me, Drew. I'm confused and now I have a headache because of what you're saying to me."

He says, "I know, I'm sorry. I can walk ya to yer room if ya wanna go lay down and get rid of that ache."

You soften up a bit and say, "Yeah." That's all you say. That's all you feel like you can say.

So, Drew walks you to your chambers. You notice that you're still holding his hand when you arrive at the door of your room. He turns toward you and says, "Whenever ya would like t'go see those wrestling shows in America then let me know and we'll go, okay?"

You nod and look up at your husband. "Thank you, Drew," you say. "Offering to go see some wrestling shows in my home country sounds really nice."

Drew says, "It's been a while since I've been to America and I'd like t'see where my wife is from."

My wife. He said you were his wife. That was the first time behind closed doors that he's referred to you as his wife.

There's another silence between the two of you before you say, "I'm, um, going to head inside. Take some medicine and lay down."

"Can I stop by later t'make sure yer okay?" he asks slowly and cautiously.

You consider it for a moment before you say, "Yeah, sure. Just come in if you do because knocking may make my headache worse."

Drew nods and says, "Alright."

You look up at Drew and the air between the two of you thickens a bit. Your heart races in your chest as you wait for Drew to do something.

He pushes a loose curl behind your ear before he kisses your cheek lightly. Your heart almost jumps out of your chest when his lips touch your cheek. You look at him as he pulls away from you slowly.

"Goodnight, in case yer asleep when I come check on ya after the party," Drew says quietly.

You nod and say in almost a whisper, "Goodnight."

He shoots you a smile before walking off to the party again. You stand in the hallway for a second, playing with your engagement ring as you watch him walk off.

For the first time in this marriage, Drew's actions and words made you have butterflies in your stomach and made your heart race.

If you didn't know any better then you might be falling for your husband.

***

The moment between you and Drew has melted away by morning. You walked down to breakfast early the next morning and he doesn't even acknowledge your presence at the table.

"Y/N, are ya feeling okay?" Drew's dad asks. "Ya left with Drew and only Drew came back."

Nodding, you say, "Yeah. I just wasn't feeling well so I went to bed a little early. That's all."

Drew finally glances at you and his dad says, "Feeling better this morning, I hope?"

"Depends," you say, looking at Drew. "Is your eldest son going to keep ignoring me like he is right now?"

His dad looks at him and asks, "Is there something wrong?"

You say, "No, nothing's wrong." You get angry and stand up. "Excuse me but I think I'm going to go back to my chambers. I'm not feeling well again."

After you're done talking, you leave and go back to your room. You've just closed the door when there's a knock.

Reluctantly, you go and answer it. Drew stands in the doorway and you say, "Oh, great. It's you. Come to promise me something else then ignore me again?"

Drew says, "Look, I'm sorry. This whole thing is new to me, Y/N. I'm 35 and I haven't been in a serious relationship like this."

"We're not even in a relationship, Drew," you spit at him. "We're legally bind to each other for you to become king."

He says, "I'm trying here, Y/N!" His voice is rising. "I'm fucking trying. We met, were engaged then married within weeks. I'm trying t'be a good husband in public while also trying t'form a relationship with you behind closed doors. It's not easy. Especially because I do want a relationship with ya, Y/N."

You glare at him and say, "Ignoring me isn't trying, Drew."

He says, "I know, Y/N." He rubs his face. "God, I'm terrible at communicating how I feel and this is whole new territory for me."

Deciding to lighten the air, you say, "If you want to be king then you have to work on communication skills there, Drew."

Drew looks at you and says, "I'm gonna pretend that I didn't just hear ya say that."

You smile and say, "Come on, Drew. Lighten up a bit. Here, tell me the truth. How do you feel when you're around me?"

Your husband blinks at you and thinks for a second. He says, "I, uh, I feel nervous. Ya make me a little nervous, Y/N. My heart races when ya're around me, especially when we touch. Um, when ya walk into a room, I feel a knot in my stomach. I don't know what it's called-"

"Butterflies," you say, helping him out. "They're called butterflies in the stomach. It's what happens when we're around someone who we may or may not like."

Drew looks down at you and says, "Sounds like yer talking from experience."

You nod slightly and say, "I am."

He blinks at you and starts to say something before someone walks into the hallway and say, "I apologize for the interruption, your highnesses. Prince Drew, your father has requested your presence in his chambers. Immediately."

Drew nods and says, "One second." He turns toward you. "When I'm done with my father, I'll come back and we can keep talking. Okay?"

You nod and he smiles before walking off quickly.

That's when you notice when there are butterflies in your stomach again.

***

It's hours later and you're still waiting for Drew. You've asked your maids if they've seen him and they've all said that he's still with his father.

You're watching Freaky Friday on Disney Plus when the doors to your chambers open. A red-faced Drew walks in and you ask, "Woah, Fire Face. What's wrong?"

"My father is what's wrong," Drew says. He's pacing around the room and you pause the movie, getting up and walking to him.

You say, "Talk to me, Drew." He doesn't look at you. "Hey, dumbass. I'm your wife, remember? You're supposed to talk to me about this stuff."

Finally, Drew looks down at you. You're so much shorter than him. You're barely five foot four. You're eye level with his chest and you have to tilt your head up to look at Drew.

He says, "My father just told me that we're going on a two week tour of the country. He wants me t'know the country before I ascend the throne."

"What's the matter with that?" you ask, gently stroking Drew's arm to calm him down.

His eyes are on your hand on his arm as he says, "I wanted t'surprise ya with tickets home t'America for the two weeks that we'll be on tour."

Your eyes widen and you say, "We can go when we get back."

Drew says, "When we got t'America, yer friend was gonna meet us in Florida. I got ya cleared t'wrestle in one match in WWE against your friend. It was more than just going t'see some wrestling shows in America. When we got t' ya're hometown, I was gonna take ya t'yer favorite spot that ya told me about before and I was gonna ask if ya wanted t'try and be a real couple."

Your heart sinks into stomach when you see how upset Drew is about this. You say, "You had all that planned out for me? For us?"

He nods and says, "I wanted ya to feel less alone and I wanted ya t'have at least one more match before ya actually have t'give up wrestling."

You console Drew by hugging him. You close your eyes and you say, "I already feel less alone, Drew."

"What about yer one more match?" he asks.

Looking up at Drew, you say, "I've already come to terms with the fact I'll probably never wrestle again. It would have been amazing to be in a WWE ring but I don't need one more match."

His hands rest on your cheeks before he says, "I'll get ya in a WWE ring at some point, Y/N. Ya gave up yer career t'be here. It's the least I can do."

The idea of talking to Drew's father pops into your mind and you say, "I need to do something really quick. Can you excuse me?"

Drew nods and you let go of each other before you walk off to the king's chambers.

At the door, you knock. A "come in" is said from the other side so you open the large doors.

King Andrew sits at his desk and he looks up at you. "Ah, Y/N," he says, getting up. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Postpone the tour of Scotland," you bluntly say. "Please, sir."

His face hardens a bit as he says, "Drew must've told ya what was happening."

You nod and say, "He did, and he pulled a lot of strings to surprise me back home. Mr. King Sir, he gave me an opportunity to do the thing I love one more time before I give it up to join him by his side as queen of this beautiful country. He wants to take this trip to help us get closer so maybe we could be together behind closed doors as well. Let us take this trip and the day we get back, we can tour this country that I can proudly say I call my second home."

Andrew looks at you as you talk. He leans against his desk and crosses his arms across his chest, looking down at the floor when you're done talking.

You wait for a response.

It's almost an eternity before he says, "I can remember what it was like t'be in love with Drew's mother when we were younger. All the trips we took were always business, never for pleasure. Then she got sick and she died, and I regret that we never got to go on a trip just for pleasure. So, I will postpone the tour so ya and Drew can visit the States, but the day ya get back is the day the tour of Scotland begins."

You smile and say, "Yes, Mr. King Sir. May I go tell Drew the news?"

He nods and dismisses you.

As soon as you're out of the room, you take off back toward your chambers. Drew sits on the small love seat in your room and looks at you when you walk in.

"When do we leave to go to America?"

—

tags: @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan

[peggyrose19]

Day 24: Secret Santa

Happy Christmas Eve everyone!! I can’t believe it’s here already, feels like it was March just yesterday. I am very excited for this. Because the prompt for today is Secret Santa, I thought what better time to post my SW Discord Secret Santa! It was written as a gift for the wonderful @im-oknutzy-trash. I had an amazing time writing this and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. Prompt from @remus-john-lupin, characters and AU from the amazing @lumosinlove. This is the last advent fic I’ll be doing, and I’m so so grateful to all of you that have kept up with them all, it really means a lot. Hope you all have a wonderful holiday, ily guys 😘 

Logan had it all planned out.

The tree, the lights, the food. 

The rings.

The only problem was actually executing his plan. And keeping it a secret until Christmas Eve. 

He had been doing well for the first week or so. Of course, the rings hadn’t arrived yet, so maybe that was why. But once he had them, hidden away in his sock drawer in his bedroom, it all suddenly became urgent, a heavy presence he could feel hanging over him anytime he entered the apartment. 

With each day, the urgency grew and grew. He could feel it every waking moment, and even when he was asleep, the pressure and nerves and need to keep it secret. The problem, of course, was that Logan was terrible at keeping secrets. 

He knew Finn and Leo could feel him pulling away. He had hoped it wasn’t too obvious, but the looks on their faces when he forced a laugh or a smile, or cut off their kisses too soon, distancing himself as best he could. Because he knew that if he kissed them for too long, if he allowed himself to fall into that endless pit of love and desire, he would ask them right then and there, consequences be damned, and his planning would all go to waste. 

So he stayed silent, stayed away as best he could, trying not to hurt them. 

A week and a half before Christmas Leo and Finn confronted him. 

“Logan, what’s going on?” Finn asked at dinner.

“Quoi?” Logan asked, looking up from his food. 

“You’ve been acting weird for weeks,” Leo explained. “Is something going on, are you okay?”

“Oh! No, I’m fine.” His heart pounded, hoping they would believe him, mind going to the box in his dresser. He forced the image away.

But Finn pushed. “Is it us? Are we doing something wrong?”

“What? Nonono, you two are perfect. It’s not- I’m fine, I promise.”

“Logan, we know something’s wrong!” Finn exclaimed frustratedly. “I know you, I can tell when you’re not saying something.” Logan just sighed heavily. It wasn’t like he could tell them the truth. He hadn’t thought he would make it this far before blurting it out, honestly. But he had and now Finn was upset with him and Leo looked sad and uncertain and he wasn’t sure what to do now. 

“I’m fine, okay?” he said, harsher than he meant, and Leo flinched back a bit. “Sorry,” he said immediately. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. But truly, nothing is going on.”

“Lo-” Finn whispered and fell silent. Both of them were staring at him. 

“Fuck,” Logan muttered, and got up from the table. 

Leo and Finn watched him go, dumbfounded, unsure what to do now. But Logan was back a moment later, a small box clutched in his hand. He ran his free hand through his hair, sighing. 

“I had a plan, to do this on Christmas Eve with the tree and lights and- whatever, there was a whole plan. But you two are too fucking smart I guess.” He smiled ruefully. “Finn, Leo, I love you both so so much. Like, more than anything. I don’t know what I would do without you. And....” he trailed off. Leo and Finn exchanged a confused glance. “Well, merde, here we go.”

In one smooth movement, he dropped to his knee, opening the box in his hands, two silver rings sitting on the velvet inside. 

Leo’s hands went to his mouth, Finn reaching out blindly to grip his shoulder. Leo grabbed his hand. Both of them were staring at Logan.

“Mon amours, will you marry me?”

It was quiet for a long time, Finn and Leo left staring in complete amazement. This was not what they had expected when they started dinner. 

“Lo,” Finn whispered, staring at him, tears shining in his eyes. “Holy shit. Holy shit.”

And then he rushed at Logan, collapsing into his arms and kissing him senseless, nearly knocking both of them over. In the next moment, Leo was there too, wrapping his arms around both of them, kissing any part of Logan he could reach, heart pounding wildly

“I love you I love you I love you,” Finn murmured over and over, words slurring together as he kissed Logan's cheeks and neck and lips, unable to get enough.

“So is that a yes?” Logan choked out and both boys paused.

“Of course it’s a yes, baby,” Leo sniffed, fighting back tears

“Yes yes, a thousand times yes,” Finn added and Logan could’ve cried with relief and joy, because the loves of his life just agreed to marry him and never in a million years had he ever imagined this happening. An overwhelming sense of love washed over him, and he was so fucking grateful that he had found them, that they found each other, and they can be together and happy and married.

Never in a million years had any of them imagined this would happen. But there they were, together, crying and laughing and kissing, Logan sliding rings on their fingers, falling tangled to the floor in a mess of frantic hands and wet kisses. Logan never wanted to move again. 

~

Leo fought the urge to pace as he listened to the phone ringing. Logan and Finn were waiting for him in their bedroom, urging him to call before they went to bed. His heart was pounding.  He wasn’t quite sure why. But he was excited and in love and possibly a little bit drunk. There was a click as the line connected.

“Mama?” he asked, fighting to keep his voice steady.

“Hey, baby!” her familiar voice chirped, and he relaxed marginally. “What’s goin’ on with you?”

“Um, well I have some news.”

“Oh! Well, the last time you had some ‘news’ it was to tell us about Finn and Leo.” Leo couldn’t fight a small laugh. He could sense his mom narrowing her eyes at that. “What kind of news do you have exactly?”

“The good kind,” he promised, unable to fight a smile. 

“I’ll go get your father, shall I?”

“Yeah, yeah I think you should.” It was quiet for a few moments, before Leo heard his dad talking faintly, presumably asking who was on the phone.

“Okay, he’s here,” her voice came back louder. 

“Hey bud,” Wyatt said, “What’s this news you have?”

“Um…” he trailed off, unsure how to say it. He scrubbed a hand over his face, unsure why he was so nervous all of a sudden. His parents had been nothing but supportive, so why was he freezing?

“Leo?” 

“Sorry. Um… well, Logan, uh, he proposed tonight.” 

The phone went dead silent for a long moment, and all Leo heard was the pounding of his heart. Then his mother shrieked and the dam broke. 

“Oh my god, really? Baby, that’s amazing!” 

“Did you say yes? I’m assuming you said yes, considering how happy you are.”

“Yeah Dad, I said yes,” Leo laughed, pressing a hand to his cheek. His face hurt from smiling. He wasn’t sure he was ever going to stop smiling. “Both of us did.”

“Aww my baby’s getting married!” his mom shrieked, and Leo could just imagine the elated look on both of their faces. 

“Le, that’s so exciting!” his dad exclaimed. All Leo could do was laugh. 

“Have you set a date yet?”

“No, Mom, he just asked a few hours ago,” he laughed, shaking his head. “You guys are the first ones I’ve told.”

“Oh, honey, that’s amazing.”

“Yeah. I’m really excited.” 

“Oh, well we should let you get back to your boys, call us in the morning okay? I want to hear everything.”

“Okay, I will,” he promised.

“And honey, I am so proud of you. So proud.” 

“Thanks, Mama. I love you, both of you.”

“We love you too, honey.” 

~

After Leo hung up, setting his phone down on the coffee table, he sat for a moment, taking it all in. His parents knew, they were excited and happy. He never could have imagined this happening.

He sighed happily, pushing himself off the couch and heading for the bedroom. His boys were in bed, Logan lying on top of Finn with his face buried in the crook of his neck. But he looked up as Leo padded into the room, smiling sweetly up at him.

“Hey Peanut,” he sighed. “How’d it go?”

“They were really excited,” Leo said, grinning. He climbed onto the bed beside them, slotting himself against Finn’s side and running a soft hand through Logan’s hair, leaning into the both of them. “My mom wanted to know if we’d set a date yet.” Logan laughed at that, Finn smiling down at him. 

“Nah, we got time.” 

“So much time.” 

Finn held up his hand, admiring the silver band sitting on his finger. “I can’t believe it’s really happening,” he sighed. Logan grasped his hand, fiddling with the ring. 

“Me neither,” he admitted. 

A thought occurred to Finn just then. “Lo, we both have rings, but did you get one for yourself?”

Logan could only laugh, shaking his head. “I knew you were gonna ask that,” he muttered. “Yes, Fish, I got myself a ring too. It’s in my bedroom. You’re so ridiculous.”

“Hey! Who are you calling ridiculous?” 

“Both of you.” Leo grinned, leaning up to kiss the pout off Finn’s face, feeling Logan’s lips on his jaw as he did. “I love you both,” he murmured. “So fucking much.” 

“We love you too, Nutter Butter.” 

“I can’t believe we’re getting married.”

“I can’t believe you two ruined my proposal.”

“What do you mean?”

“Fucking- I had a plan! It was all romantic and shit, and then you two ruined it by getting all concerned.” 

“Well, what was your plan?” 

Logan grumbled for a moment before reluctantly responding. “I was gonna ask on Christmas Eve, y’know, after we’d read The Night Before Christmas and were on the couch watching cheesy movies with the lights all off except the tree. There was gonna be cookies and hot chocolate and it was gonna be super romantic. I was gonna leave you both speechless for the rest of the night!” he finished, sweeping an arm out dramatically. “And then you went and got worried. I was doing so good too.” Finn could hear the pout in Logan’s voice. 

“Aw, mon rouge,” Leo crooned, kissing his temple. “It’s okay. You can always do it again in a week.” 

“Hmph.” 

“Now come here so I can kiss you properly.” Logan rolled his eyes but pushed himself up, leaning over to Leo and kissing him sweetly, pushing him back against the bed. 

“I love you,” Leo whispered. Finn smiled as he watched them, content to just look at them, feeling the weight of Logan still on top of him, the heat of Leo beside him. He looked at the ring on his finger, the matching one on Leo’s hand, imagining the one that would soon be on Logan’s finger too. It was more than he’d ever dreamed of, more than he’d ever thought he would have. And he knew without asking that his fiancés felt the same. 

They were so incredibly lucky.

[obx-adventures]

The Fall

Summary: Grace just moved from Figure Eight to the Cut. She never expected to run into her old friend, Kiara, and discover she lives next door to JJ Maybank.

Catch up here: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3

——

Chapter 4

“Dude, what the hell just happened?” John B asks when he and Pope find JJ still rooted to the spot where Grace left him. JJ has been trying to decide whether or not to follow her. He knows she’ll be pissed but he also knows that she shouldn’t be walking home alone when she’s as drunk as she is.

“Fuck it. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” JJ runs in the direction that Grace left as Pope and John B call out for him.

JJ finds Grace sitting on a makeshift flower box about 10 minutes later. She had stopped walking before getting to their block, JJ’s voice echoing in her head. At the sound of his footsteps, she jumps and tries to gather her stuff to run.

“Whoa whoa whoa, it’s just me.” Grace sags in relief when she recognizes JJ’s voice. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I know you told me not to follow you but –”

He was cut off by Grace throwing herself into him and wrapping her arms around his torso. He follows her lead and holds her tightly as she starts to cry.

“I’m so sorry, JJ.” He shushes her as he rubs her back. “No, I was so horrible to you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I bring that out in people.” Grace chuckles a little into his chest and he closes his eyes in relief. “But you got to tell me what that was all about, sweetheart. I’ve been worried about you since I picked you up from work and then that thing you said about being no one’s responsibility. What happened?”

“JJ… can we talk about this tomorrow?” JJ pulls back a little to look at her face and can see how exhausted she looks. He’s seen the same look in the mirror after bad days with his dad. She’s holding on by a thread.

“Sure, sweetheart. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

“No!” JJ’s stunned by her emphatic answer. “I can’t go home.”

“Your mom probably isn’t awake, you won’t get in trouble.” JJ forgot this is the first time that Grace has been drunk. But from what he saw yesterday, he doubts Amanda Porter will be aware enough to realize her daughter is just as drunk as her.

“It’s not that. I just… please. Please can we go somewhere else?” Now JJ understands this is a whole different issue. He’s pretty sure it has something to do with her dad but decides not to push it.

“Well we’re pretty far from the Chateau already, do you think you can walk for another 30 minutes?”

“No…” Grace chews on her lip and sways a little. JJ is positive he’s never seen someone so cute. He places his hands on her shoulders to steady her, trying to remember that she needs a friend right now, not a guy that can only think about how adorable she looks.

“Then your house it is.”

“What about yours?” JJ’s eyes widen in surprise at Grace’s suggestion.

“You would rather face my abusive, alcoholic father than your sleeping mom?”

“JJ…”

“What if I stayed with you and ran interference so you don’t see her?” Grace freezes up at the suggestion and can’t help thinking about how she fell asleep with his hand stroking her cheek. She giggles at the thought and her cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“Yea, I guess that would be ok.” She continues to giggle as she turns away from him to walk home.

“What’s so funny?” JJ caught the pink tinge in her cheeks before she turned around and is desperate to know what caused it.

Grace decided not to answer as she stumbled ahead of him. After almost tripping a few more times, JJ steps in front of her and crouches a bit so she can jump on his back. When she hesitates for a second, he looks back at her and winks. She giggles again and awkwardly jumps up for a piggy back ride.

When they get to her house, she tries to unlock her door but can’t steady herself enough to get the key in the lock. JJ takes over and leads her inside. Despite being drunk, her first instinct is to check on her mom.

Grace finds Amanda passed out with another empty bottle of alcohol next to her. JJ waits outside her mom’s room, watching her closely. As Grace’s knees buckle and a sob escapes her, JJ swoops in to pick her up and carry her to her room. He sits on her bed and holds her against his chest, rocking slowly and running his fingers through her hair.

“What happened, sweetheart?” he asks after she finally settles down.

“She lied to me for my whole life. They both did. He finally told me the truth today. But he doesn’t want me. And she’s a mess. And I feel so fucking alone.”

“What did they lie about?”

“He’s not... he’s... not... my...” Grace tries time to calm her sobs enough to talk but JJ understands. He soothes her and tells her she doesn’t need to say anything else.

“I’m so sorry, Grace.” He can’t imagine how much it hurt her to find out Paul isn’t her real father. For a moment, he isn’t sure what else to say but then he remembers their conversation in the kitchen the night before. “I know it feels like it but you aren’t alone. Remember? We can take care of each other. Ok?”

Grace gives him a watery smile and nods a little at him. She reaches her hand out and brushes his hair off his forehead. Instead of pulling her hand back, she leaves it on his cheek and is surprised when he leans into it. They stay like that for what feels like an eternity, just staring into each other’s eyes.

JJ’s phone beeps, causing them both to jump a little. Grace awkwardly moves off his lap and runs into the bathroom to clean herself up. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she decides she can’t put off going back into her room. When she does, she finds him in the same spot as before.

“Hi...” Grace isn’t sure what else to say after whatever it was that just happened between them.

“Uh, Kie was just checking to make sure you’re ok...” Grace giggles at JJ’s awkwardness. At least she isn’t the only one thrown off kilter. “Uh, we should... umm, we should get some sleep.”

Grace nods at JJ but doesn’t move from her spot leaning against the door. She’s trying to decide what to do next. She’s never been a risk taker but she’s also never felt this way about someone. As if her body is acting on it’s own accord, she moves to stand in front of JJ. He looks perplexed and nervous, two words Grace never thought she would associate with him. She gently runs one hand through his hair and places the other on his opposite cheek.

“What are you doing?” JJ’s voice is barely a whisper.

“Something I’ve wanted to do for the past 3 weeks...”

JJ stares into Grace’s eyes as he reaches up to move her hands away from his face and hair.

“Grace, you’re drunk... I think we should just lay down and get some sleep.” He releases her hands and fights to ignore the pain and embarrassment written all over her face as he stands up to walk past her.

When he gets to the bathroom, he curses himself as he splashes cold water on his face. What the hell was that? If Kie hadn’t texted him, he’s sure he would have kissed Grace. And he wanted to now when she stood in front of him. But he was able to remind himself while she was in the bathroom that she’s drunk and reeling from finding out about her dad. He knows he’s an asshole but not a big enough asshole to take advantage of her while she’s in this state. JJ pulls himself together and goes back into Grace’s room.

He finds Grace curled up into a ball on the same side of the bed she was last night. He can see her body shaking and is sure she’s crying again. But he doesn’t know what to do now.

After getting into bed, he reaches over to touch her shoulder but she flinches away from him. Fuck, did he just totally screw everything up between them?

“Do you want me to go?”

Grace shakes her head no but refuses to turn around to face him. JJ understands this is the best he can hope for. He falls asleep thinking about how he will make things right between them tomorrow.

——

Grace wakes up with a horrendous headache. She rolls over to see JJ still asleep beside her. As she looks at his peaceful face, she cringes at the memory of his rejection last night. How could she be so stupid? Why would JJ Maybank be interested in her?

She slowly gets out of bed, trying desperately not to wake him up. As she stands under the hot water in the shower, she tries to piece together what happened last night. She’s a little impressed with herself for punching Rafe but can’t believe how she acted with JJ. He probably thinks she’s pathetic. Grace is jolted out of her self-pity when she hears the door open.

“Sorry, Grace, I just really need to pee.” Grace’s whole body stiffens in rage at the sound of her mom’s voice.

“Get out!”

“I’m sorry to burst in like this but you’ve been in here for 40 minutes and I couldn’t hold it anymore.”

Grace grinds her teeth in frustration. She needs to talk to her mom but she wants to be able to see her face when she asks her for the truth. Amanda leaves the bathroom and Grace quickly finishes her shower. When she gets back to her room, JJ is still snoring. She decides to deal with one emotionally painful situation at a time and leaves him asleep to go find her mom.

“Mom, we need to talk.” Amanda is making coffee in the kitchen so Grace sits at the table to wait for her.

“Ok, what’s up?” Amanda is certain that Grace wants to talk about her drinking. She knows it’s gotten bad and Grace has had to take care of her a lot lately.

“I saw dad yesterday.” Amanda can see how angry Grace is and is worried about where this conversation is going.

“Oh? How did that go?”

“Not great, mom. He told me he’s not my biological father.” Amanda flinches at Grace’s words and that’s enough confirmation for Grace. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I didn’t want to hurt you, sweetie.” Amanda reaches over to take Grace’s hand and is hurt when Grace pulls her hands away. “Plus, it doesn’t really change anything. Paul knew I was pregnant before we got married. He knew he wasn’t your father but he still signed your birth certificate. Legally, that makes him your dad. My lawyer says-”

“Shut up!” Grace yells. “I don’t give a shit about the legal crap! And it changes everything! The man I consider my dad doesn’t want anything to do with me! And he never has. All these years, I thought I had done something wrong. That it was my fault that he never spent time with me. All my life, I’ve felt like I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t deserve his or anyone else’s love.”

“Oh sweetie, no-”

“Stop, I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. You’re just as bad as he is. I knew I had to talk to you right away this morning because you won’t be sober much longer. You’ve been drunk by noon every day since we moved here. I had to get a job to pay our rent and buy groceries so we don’t starve. I’ve always been more of the adult in our relationship but now I can’t count on you at all. And... and I can’t trust you anymore.”

“Grace, that’s not fair.” Amanda knows that everything her daughter said is true but it doesn’t make it any less painful.

Grace storms into her room, too disgusted with her mother and too hurt to talk anymore. After slamming her door, she sinks to the ground and cries into her hands. She doesn’t hear JJ walk over to her over the sound of her own sobs. When he touches her shoulder, she jumps but quickly grabs onto him like a lifeline. He sits down with her and pulls her against his chest, thankful that she’s accepting his comfort.

Twenty minutes later, Grace’s tears have dried and her breathing has returned to normal. She looks up at JJ and is reminded of what happened between them last night. She sits up and releases him.

“Thank you, JJ. And... and I want to apologize... I was really drunk last night. I didn’t... I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I hope it doesn’t change... I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I should have explained-” Grace cuts him off before he can go on.

“You don’t need to explain. I get it.” Grace stands up and puts as much distance as she can between them, desperately trying to avoid hearing how someone else important to her doesn’t want her. “Kiara will be here any minute. I think my mom is back in her room so you should go now before she sees you.”

JJ stares at Grace but she stubbornly avoids looking at him. After a minute of awkward silence, JJ walks towards her and stops in the doorway, trying to get her to meet his gaze. Grace finally looks him in the eyes but before he can talk, he hears Kiara honk to let Grace know she’s there. As they walk outside, he stops her before she gets in the car.

“Can I walk you home after work?”

“Uh, no. I’ll ask Kiara for a ride.”

“Please, I want to talk about this.” Grace looks down at her hands and JJ can practically hear her thinking through excuses. He gently turns her face to look at him and holds eye contact. “Please.”

Grace nods and quickly gets into Kiara’s car before he can say anything else. Kiara is staring at JJ through the passenger window, clearly confused about their exchange. He walks away quickly before Kiara has a chance to say anything to make this more awkward.

“Shit...” Grace cringes at the tone in Kiara’s voice. “What the hell was that?”

Ch 5

Taglist: @agirlwholovescoffee @alexa-playafricabytoto @mendesmaybank @teamnick @laurenyee09 @prejudic3 @teaheeee @shy-1234 @rudyismymanperiod @teaparadiso @rudy-pankow

[ms-rampage]

New Dawn: New Horizons Chapter 3 - With A Little Help From The Devil

Warnings: Language, and slight angst.

Word Count: 2.5k

Summary: Lucifer confronts Gabriel seeking his help to find the other angels that were cast out of Heaven.

Guest OCs: The usuals

Guest Characters: Lucifer (Supernatural), John and Jacob Seed (mentioned), Wheaty (mentioned).

Written by @athenalillystar and myself. Hope ya'll enjoy!! 💗💗

Taglist: @wargames94 @rabbitsoldier @vicki-the-sinner @mrsladydiana

Note: This is a Far Cry New Dawn and Supernatural crossover with my OCs

*********

Lucifer has his hand over Cristina’s mouth to muffle her screams, stopping her from alerting the family. 

He clicks his tongue a few times, and says. “I thought we came to an understanding. I told you, you’ll see me again. Guess I should’ve been more specific”.

“What do you want?!” she asks, her voice muffled by his hand. 

“You promise not to scream?” he asks, his voice deepens, almost in a whisper.

She nods her head in response. He moves his hand away from her mouth. 

“What do I want?!” he asks, his index finger on his chin, walking towards her bedroom window. 

“Well first off, I would like to know what is so special about your cousin?!. The small one with the cotton candy hair”.

“Daenerys?” she asks, in slight confusion. 

“Yeah, for some reason she happens to be the most important thing in the world to Gabriel” he says, bitterness in his voice. 

“That’s his daughter, that's why she’s so important to him” she responds, in a somewhat sarcastic tone. 

He chuckles, “Ehh not quiet”.

She looks at him in confusion, furrowed her eyebrows at him. “What is that supposed to mean?!” she asks, getting slightly irritated. 

“Well you see. Gabriel is no-”.

He gets cut off when her bedroom door opens, and Gabriel appears in the doorway. 

“Uncle Gabe I-” she says before getting cut off, and going unconscious by Lucifer snapping his fingers. 

Gabriel steps into the room, closing the door behind him, “I told you to leave them alone” he tells him, his voice deep, and angry. 

Lucifer shrugs, “You know I never listen”.

“What do you want?!” he asks.

“You know what I want” Lucifer tells him, “I want you to come with me, and we can find all the others that fell.”

“But why do you care if the others fell?. No one did when you fell” Gabe asks.

Lucifer rolls his eyes, “Yeah, I know. That’s why I want to rub it in dad���s face when we confront him”.

“Do you even know where the others fell??!” he asks, crossing his arms.

“Samandriel, Uriel, Castiel, Michael, Gadreel, Raphael and you are the only ones that I know of that fell. I'm not sure where, but they're most likely scattered".

Gabriel goes silent for a moment, looking down at the floor.

“Okay. I’ll go with you” he says. 

A smile appears on Lucifer’s face, “Good, we should get-”. He gets cut off by his younger brother “But, it’ll have to wait until the morning”.

Lucifer rolls eyes, throwing his head back in annoyance, “Are you serious?!”. 

He nods his head, “Yes, I want to give them an explanation. I’ll tell Daenerys that I’m gonna go help out some survivors with the Highwaymen, or something like that”.

Lucifer shoves his hands into his jacket pockets, and says.

“So you’re gonna keep lying to your “daughter” huh?!”.

Gabriel sighs, “As much as I don’t want to. I have to. How long will this search be?”.

“A week, maybe 2. See you tomorrow little bro”. 

Lucifer disappears from the room, and Cristina is still unconscious.

With the very little powers he has, Gabriel wipes her memory from the last 2-5 minutes.

He goes back to his and Kate’s room, laying next to her in bed. 

********

The next morning at around 7:30am, Gabriel is packing some of his gear that he’ll most likely not need, but has to make it look like he’s going out on a week-long hunting trip, or at least a few days. 

“So how long are you gonna be gone?!” Daenerys asks, sitting at the kitchen table, looking up at him.

He sighs, “A week. Maybe 2. Depending on how long they're gonna need me”.

Kate leans against the doorway of the kitchen, who knows the real reason why he’s leaving.

“So who is that you’re gonna be searching for?!” she asks, playing along with this situation. 

He looks up at her, “It’s a group of hunters that were ambushed by the Highwaymen. Mickey and Lou wanted them captured, and they escaped. Fled into the nearby forests, not far from the radiation zone in the Henbane”. 

He finishes packing up, and he heads outside to his truck.

All of the adults Paige, Kenneth, Mandy, Barbara, Adrian, Mark, Nate, Cody, and Martin all know the real reason why Gabriel is leaving. Trying to keep the kids from knowing the real truth. To help out Lucifer and find the angels that were cast out of Heaven, and were now wandering the Earth, either human, or half human, with little to no powers, or angelic grace. 

The kids don’t know the real reason why he’s leaving. He hugs every single one of them, he holds Kate and Daenerys longer, placing a kiss on Daenerys head. 

“Please come back whole” she says, hugging him tighter. 

He laughs softly, “I will”. Placing another kiss on her head.

He kisses Kate goodbye, gets into a truck, and leaves the property. Meeting Lucifer at the meeting point. 

They all go inside, back to what they were doing, letting Gabe go to find these “hunters”. 

*******

After a half an hour drive later, Gabriel arrives at the meeting point Lucifer had sent him via angel radio. Surprised he was able to get through, even with the very little powers he has. 

A few miles away from the radiation zone of what was once the Henbane River.

“Great. You showed up!” Lucifer says, enthusiastically. 

“Okay. So where are we going?!” Gabriel asks. 

“That way” Lucifer says, pointing into the direction of the radiated part of the Henbane. 

“Into the radiation zone?!?” he asks, eyes wide. Not sure if he’ll actually survive going into that death zone, even with the amount of powers he has. He’s pretty much a human at this point. 

“Yeah. So lets goooo” he says singfully. Walking towards the dead zone.

“I don't even know if I can go through there!” the half angel protests.

Lucifer stops walking, “You’ll be fine. I went through there, and I’m still alive”.

Gabe rolls his eyes, groaning “Yeah because you still have your powers. I don’t. I barely have my powers”.

Lucifer groans back, “Okay. You’ll be fine. Raphael, Uriel, Gadreel and all the others are there, and they most likely don’t have any of their powers. They’re basically human with very little angel powers. So let's go!!” he says singfully again, and walks towards the radiated part of Hope County. 

The youngest Archangel groans, and follows his older brother into the radiation zone. As much as he doesn’t want to, he still does. 

****

Back in Holland Valley, everyone is working, doing their own thing around the compound. 

Jeffrey and Thomas are helping the guys, and a few others put up guard towers around the wall. 

The whole thing is basically a second Prosperity. Open to those seeking shelter from the Highwaymen. 

Paige, Kate and their mother Mandy are supplying guns to some of the residents and all those living on the compound. The three teenage girls are putting up cameras, and motion sensor spotlights with the help of a few others from Prosperity. Even from 40 feet away, and with her back to her. Kate can detect that Daenerys is worried about her father. 

“I can tell she’s worried” Kate mutters to her mother and sister. 

“Wouldn’t you?” Paige responds. Kate looks over at her, and nods her head. 

Paige sighs softly, “I get that you never really got to know dad, but still. I still worried whenever he left. I was just a child. I was afraid of everything”.

Sighing, “Yeah, I know but this is different. I just don’t want her, or anyone to know that we have an Archangel living with us” Kate tells her. 

Mandy doesn’t speak up in this conversation, or put in her two cents, she just listens in on their conversation. 

“Or that you’re married to an Archangel” Paige adds, “What about John?!”. 

Kate scoffs in annoyance, “What about him? He's dead”. She never thought about John Seed in several years, she kept his name and the thought of his existence out of her mind. 

“Yeah, I know. You and Wheaty killed him, or maybe it was Nick Rye. I don't know, I was too busy killing Jacob Seed” Paige tells her. 

“Yeah” Kate whispers remembering all the great times she had with Wheaty, “I don’t want her to know about John. Bad enough she has his eyes. It's a constant reminder that she’s his kid”.

“She also has his small hands. Have you noticed that?!” Paige tells her, while doing jazz hands like movement with her hands. 

Kate laughs softly, and says “Yeah. I could’ve saved him”. Paige looks over at her, “Who?. John?”. 

She scoffs, and shakes her head, “No Wheaty. I could’ve saved him. I’d rather have him be Daenerys’ father than John. I can’t imagine how she would’ve turned out if John were to live. A sadistic little shit. Yelling out “Say yes!. The Power of Yes!. Confess your sins sinners!”.

Paige laughs at this, “I would’ve had Cristina, or Bianca beat her up”.

Kate takes a deep breath, trying to hold back her tears, “I could’ve saved him, I could've gone back, and got him. I still think about it every night” she tells her, voice trembling, "I miss that Native guy so much". Light tears start to run down her cheeks. 

Trying to reassure her younger sister, “You gotta stop beating yourself up about that. I understand you, and Wheaty had something special. I definitely prefer you and him, over you and John, but I’m sure he would’ve wanted you to move on. I know if I would've let you gone back, and get him. You would've died as well". 

Kate nods, agreeing with her “Yeah I know, I know. I thought I would’ve ended up being a single parent. I still remember the day after we killed John and Jacob. Wheaty said to me that he wouldn’t mind being a stepfather to our child, then hopefully had kids of our own".

She stops for a moment, and Paige continues to reassure her sister.

"We lost a lot of people that day. A lot of friends Eli, Tammy, Wheaty, Jess, Mary, Pratt, Hudson and Whitehorse. Do you know if Morgan, Ryan, Sarah and all the others made it? ". 

Kate nods, and continues, "Yeah, we did but then Gabriel came into the picture. Him, and I grew closer, he helped me raise Daenerys, he took care of me throughout my pregnancy. I know he’s not used to the human lifestyle, and it was all new to him. But he adjusted very well, and I’m glad he’s here. I don’t know if they made it, I haven’t seen, or heard from them, but I’m sure they’re all dead”.

********

Lucifer and Gabriel walk through the Henbane River, and to Gabriel’s surprise he’s not coughing up his lungs, and dropping dead. 

“Eessh this is depressing” Lucifer mumbles, clenching his teeth.

“How much further?!” Gabriel asks, getting tired of walking. Lucifer looks around the dry, dead and gray scenery “It’s not far”. He’s not even sure if they’re going the right way, it’s all a dead zone. 

"What are we even looking for?!. How are we even gonna find the others?!" he asks. 

"Static. From angel radio" he mumbles, still unsure where to go. 

They continue walking through the radiation zone. After a few minutes Lucifer senses something, he stops dead in his tracks as does Gabe.

“What is it?!” he asks. He shushes him, and listens closely. “This way!" he tells him. 

He follows him further into the dead region. 

“What is it?!?” Gabriel asks, annoyed that his brother isn't answering him. 

“It’s one of them” he answers. “Raphael?!?” he adds before walking towards the sound that only he can hear. Gabriel follows behind him. 

******

Back at the compound, Cristina, Bianca and Daenerys are setting the motion sensor lights.

The youngest of the Winchester kids, Daenerys can’t concentrate due her father not being around. 

“He’ll be back Dae” Cristina comforts her younger cousin.

“Yeah I know. I just worry whenever he’s not here” she tells them, “Especially with those douchebags running around and capturing people”.  

“He’ll be back. He said he will, and he’s gone to help others several times before” Bianca tells her. 

She tries to keep her mind away from her dad, reassuring herself that he’ll be home within a week or 2, or even a couple of days. Cristina’s mind keeps wandering as well, remembering what her mom, and aunt had said to her the night before. 

She wants to tell Daenerys and Bianca but promised her mom and aunt that she wouldn't. 

Lucifer keeps coming to mind, and that scares her. She had a dream that he appeared in her room, and he was about to say something about her uncle Gabriel and Daenerys but was woken up by her alarm. 

After a couple of hours they finished setting up the lights and cameras.

The guard towers are all complete, the Winchester-Smith compound is complete. 

They have all of their workshops setup. The training yard, infirmary, cartography, garage and the garden are all set. 

Their bunker had been made into an infirmary, storage facility and an armory. As an underground shooting range. 

Later that night at dinner. Everyone that is living at the compound is seated at the main dining room in the main house.

Mark, Nate, their wives and kids. Martin, his wife, and kids. Adrian, his wife and kids. Cody and his wife. Kenny, Kate, Daenerys, Bianca, Jeffrey, Thomas, Barbara, Cristina, Mandy and Paige.

Paige stands up, clears her throat and gives a speech. 

“Okay, everyone if I can have your attention. First off I just wanna say thank you to all of you for your help. I know it’s been a huge adjustment. With the Highwaymen running around Hope County, it’s not really easy. We just need to stick together, and fight against them. I know Gabriel will be back within a week or two with those missing hunters maybe sooner, and we can recruit them to fight against the Twins and their followers. We have everything we need. We just have to keep on our feet. Watch over, and protect our home. Don’t let our guard down because we don’t know when they’ll strike. But if we fight, and push back, they’ll get the message that we’re not to be fucked with. So with that being said. Thank you, and I know we can win this fight”. 

Everyone applauds Paige’s speech, and they all eat their dinner. 

[hoewkeyesblue]

Drown

requested by: anon

“HI!!! Can i request an imagine where the reader is dating john and she takes a bullet for one of his brothers. She lives but it’s all dramatic and angsty?”

pairing: john shelby x reader

summary: you couldn’t stand the thought of losing john, so you took the bullets that were meant for him. john’s point of view.

word count: 1.6K

warnings: angst, panic attacks, alcohol, violence, drugs.

author’s note: wow! what a wonderful ride. it’s not exactly what you wanted, but I hope you can enjoy it. I did. don’t forget english isn’t my first language and be nice.

Day 0

You’re on the floor.

I'm unable to think straight; all I see is you and your blood, everything else is a blur. I can't hear shit, just a weird sound like I am underwater. It feels like I'm completely high.

I know I got shot too, I can feel the pain in my shoulder and leg, but I can't push myself to think about it. All the blood I see is yours.

Just yours.

I fall on my knees, touching your face. “Why would you do that?”, I ask.

Your eyes are still open and you're smiling to me. Fucking smiling. It would be a wonderful view if there wasn't blood running out of your mouth.

I'm panicking. I look around to see Michael bleeding as well. My heart aches, and, for a second, I feel like I'll suffocate; my hands are cold and I'm shaking.

I'm alone. What am I supposed to do?

And why I can't breathe?

“I won't let you die”, I close my eyes, trying to think before standing up and running inside. My legs are trembling and I know that I won't be awake for too long now.

I grab the phone, Tommy will know what to do. He answers quickly.

“We’ve been shot. Y/N and Michael are fucking dying.”

And everything goes dark.

Day 1

The walls are white.

Tommy’s face is the first thing I see.

“Where am I?”, is the only thing I can think about, and say. It's kinda hard to see, it feels like my eyes weight a thousand pounds.

“You're in the hospital, John”, Arthur speaks and only now I notice him, standing next to the door.

Hospital? What the fuck am I doing in a fucking hospital?

And where are you?

No.

No, no, no, no.

“Where’s she?”, my voice cracks. “Fuck, where is she?”

Tommy and Arthur don’t say shit.

Fuck this; if they won’t tell me, I’ll find out. Standing up and ripping those stuff off my body, I feel my shoulder burning, “Shit.”

“John...”

Whatever he is saying, I don't stay to listen. I'm running in the hospital hallways with my two brothers running after me, but I need to find you. I need to.

Someone grabs my arm and then Polly’s in front of me, worried sick as well. Finally, someone who'll actually talk to me.

“They're here”, she mumbles.

“Polly... not now”, Arthur interrupts.

“He needs to know!”, she yells. Some people are staring at us, but I don't give a fuck.

My hands are shaking again.

“Know... what?”

Polly says nothing, just starts walking and I go after her. There's a room at the end of the hallway and, as I come closer, I can see your hair in the mattress.

I feel like throwing up.

No.

I can't see that, “Is she...?”

“No.”

Relief. The weigh I felt on my shoulders are not so heavy anymore. You're not dead, that's enough for now.

I walk closer and touch your face; feeling your skin is wonderful. Even better than before, I understand the value of that now.

“You scared the hell outta me, darling”, I press my forehead against yours. My hand is still on your cheek, caressing it softly. “Don't ever do that again, please.”

“John”, Arthur speaks in a nervous tone. “Doctors said that they’ll try, but she probably won't make it. I'm sorry.”

I close my eyes, my forehead still pressed against yours, and mutter, “The hell you just said?”

Silence.

I turn to face my brother and approach him. My heart is beating like crazy, my hands feel cold and my head is now pounding painfully.

“You're sorry? You're sorry for what? Is she dead yet? Is she fucking dead?”, I yell in his face, my voice cracks again.

I didn't like his tone, he spoke like it was a lost cause.

You're alive, you aren't going to die. I won't let you.

I can't breathe.

Again, I can't breathe.

“I can't... breathe.”

My hands are now in my chest as I try to feel a little less suffocated. My heart... I can feel every beat. I can hear every beat.

Polly says something, I know she did because I saw her lips moving. I just can't figure out what was it.

Day 2

“I'm sorry I blacked out yesterday, I should've stayed here with you the whole day”, I whisper, kissing your hand. “Polly said I had a panic attack, thought that kind of thing was bullshit.”

You don't answer, obviously. I already miss hearing your voice.

“Look what you did to me, darling.”

Day 6

Michael woke up and you just... won't.

The two bullets wounds I got are now healing and I'm perfectly fine. At least, physically.

Why don't you wake up?

I killed two men this week. They chased me on the streets and I put a bullet into their heads. It felt so good, baby. I said your name, I screamed your name.

Did those bastards really think they could hurt you? They were wrong. They are wrong; I'll kill one by one, I promise you.

I don't sleep anymore. Not since day 2.

I work the whole day and come to stay with you when the night begins. I would stay by your side 24/7 if I could, but I need to kill those Italians. I know you understand me.

“How are you feeling today, my love?”, I ask you, touching your lips with my fingers. You're so cold now, it scares me.

“Mr. Shelby”, it's the nurse by the door. “I'm afraid drinking isn’t allowed in the hospital.”

Oh, right. I'm drinking right now; I drink as I breathe. There's a bottle of whiskey in my hands, I take a sip when I feel like it.

Don't you worry, please. It's just a way to get closer to you; when I'm feeling dizzy, I can feel your lips against mine.

“I'm sorry, do I look like I care about the hospital’s rules? Get out.”

Day 9

I'm drowning.

There's snow in the tip of my nose, there's snow on the table beside your bed. I know you hate when I snort, but I need to stay awake.

I need to look after you.

Day 11

The doctor said I should give up and let you go. The damage is done, there nothing they can do to heal you.

Fucking nothing.

I'm shattered.

I don't cry, you know I don't, but I'm screaming in pain with my face pressed against the pillow.

You can't leave me, my love.

I won't let you leave me.

I'll wait until you wake up, I won't give up on you. I told that doctor to fuck off and said that I'd cut his balls off if he doesn't try harder.

He’ll try harder and you'll heal. I know you will.

Because I don't know what I'll do if you don't.

Day 12

“John?”, it’s Arthur’s voice, but where is it coming from?

Looking around the street, I try to find my brother. Someone grabs my shoulder and that scares the hell outta me, the next thing I know is that I'm pointing a gun at Arthur’s face.

“It’s me, John! Geez!”, he curses. “Are you drunk? It's 8 am, brother, what’s happening?”

Day 17

Your skin feels so cold.

Your lips are pale now and it's killing me; I feel like I'm watching you die, day by day.

Your life is escaping your body and I am watching every step of it.

“Tommy won't let me work, I'm so fucking mad at him. All I wanna do is blow the brains of that Italian bastard out and he won't let me”, I complain -- I know I'm complaining a lot these days, I'm sorry.

But you're not speaking to me; you're not here to tell me to stop worrying.

Day 24

Polly said I smelled like shit, so I went home to take a shower.

I don't you to be uncomfortable around me when you wake up, so I'm using my best perfume now.

Doctors said you won't wake up, so I discovered where they lived and shot their windows. Now they're scared and now they won't let you die.

Everything’s gonna be alright.

Day 31

The last time I spoke to you was a month ago.

The last time you touched me as well.

Maybe I have to accept that you are, actually, dying. Maybe already dead.

I should let you go.

Day 45

I'm in the hospital, but not with you.

I drank so much I passed out for an entire day; Ada thought I was dead.

I wish I was.

I can't stop thinking about all the times I let you down in different ways, all the times I screamed at you or cheated on you. I was a piece of shit, the worst husband you could ever have.

You were the best.

I remember the first time I realized I loved you, it's clear like water now. It was 4 am and I knocked on your door, covered in blood.

You invited me in and bathed me, took care of me, and hugged me tight until I fell asleep. It became the best night of my life.

And, after we married, you were still wonderful. Every day and every night.

The love of my life.

Oh, God, I really wish I was dead when Ada found me.

Day 49

I'm going crazy.

I could swear you opened your eyes.

If it wasn't impossible, I'd say you're looking at me with your beautiful eyes.

Am I going crazy?

“John?”

Fuck, it's your voice.

“John, what happened?”

You're alive.

———

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