#I imagine a film critic who usually only watches really complicated movies

[yourbuerokrat2]

Surprisingly from the clips I have seen on youtube about the Mario movie it actually seems to be pretty decent for kids and fans of the franchise. 

More of a Mario and Luigi with mutual brotherly love and origin story than anything really. Glad to see Peach is treated as her own character and that she is shown to be very capable. 

Can’t believe it, but they actually make it more Mario and Peach than Mario/Peach, where you can see the potential for romance but it’s really more of a friendship right now. Although I am going to bet that Illumination is planning on making this a new fully fledged franchise so romance will probably follow in the next few movies. 

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

Stop Running (Cordelia x Wilhemina x fem!reader x Ally)

idk what we got here, but its reeeeeeally long and made with google translate..so excuse me

summary: you have to meet the son of your girlfriends and he reminds you of ur dead brother and all the memories of ur childhood come back

warnings: suicide, depression, scars, child abuse..

Being in a relationship with 3 women at the same time was probably something like the jackpot. Before, you didn't even think you'd get one and now you had 3.

You still remembered the night these three women came into the club where you worked as a waitress. In the beginning it was just little things like saying 'please' and 'thank you' when you brought them something. Most of the people who came to this club got drunk too quickly to be polite.

Then they started asking you questions.

“What's your name?”

“How is it possible that a pretty girl like you works in a club like this?” (a question that made you blush)

“How can we get your attention?”

And at one point you gave a shit about your work and sat with them for the rest of the night. And at dawn they took you to their bed with them. You were the only sober person that evening, but the next morning none of the 3 were surprised or angry about your presence.

It had developed into a frequency, every Friday night they'd come to the club only to leave with you at the end of the night. And at some point it became more.

The trio had piqued your interest since the first night, which was probably because there were three of them and later you wanted to know everything about them. You found out that Ally was widowed with a son, that Wilhemina had her cane with scoliosis and that she had a secret fetish for the Victorian era, and that Cordelia was the headmistress of a witch's school, they all lived in.

And at some point you had to find out that you were in love with all three at once.

You loved Mina's severity and how proud she walked despite her scoliosis. No one had ever walked so gracefully with a cane, you were sure of that.

You loved seeing how gentle and balanced Delia was with everyone.

And you loved Ally when she explained the world to you and was the smartest person in the room.

The problem was that you were too scared. These women had known each other for a number of years and you had only known them for a few weeks. How many times have you wondered if you were just a distraction for her bedroom?

You were ashamed of this question and started avoiding contact with them. But when they confronted you, you finally revealed your feelings to them.

They weren't angry, on the contrary, they started laughing.

———————————

"We thought you knew that we love you too and were now afraid that you would avoid us because of that .." said Delia.

"Oh .." you mumbled confused.

"We're sorry we never made it official .." Ally said, putting a hand on your knee. "We thought it was obvious .."

-----------------------

And now you've finally been living with them for a week. You almost lived with them anyway. You knew the big building of the academy almost by heart, Delia's girls knew and liked you, and most of the time you spent in the trio's rooms instead of your own little apartment.

There was a little problem though: Oz, Ally's son.

Ally had decided it would be better if you didn't meet him until you officially lived with them. It wasn't up to you, but the circumstances were very complicated. If one mother died and you had two new ones, you didn't need a third.

The night you found out about Oz's existence, Ally had also told you the story of the Cult and how she killed Ivy.

—

"I want there to be no secrets between us. And I'm not proud of what I did, but it's part of me now .." she had said.

"We have all done things that we are not proud of .." was your reply.

—

The three of them tried to prepare Oz for you as best they could, which wasn't difficult because Oz wasn't a complicated kid. And you had been confident, because actually you got on well with children.

"Oz is in his room .." Ally said as she walked into your living room. She grabbed your hands to pull you up from the sofa before kissing you on the cheek.

Both of you were at home alone at the moment, as Delia and Mina were working afterwards.

You gave her a warm smile and together you went to the boy's room. Ally knocked on the door briefly before opening it. Her hand never left yours. A blond boy was sitting on the bed reading a comic. "Oz, this is Y / N .. I told you about her .." Ally said. The boy, Oz, raised his head and looked straight at you. Your breath caught at the sight of him.

He looks like Leo, was your first thought.

This little boy looked just like your little brother had looked that age. You got dizzy. All that you repressed in the last few years suddenly all shot back into your memory. Your abusive father, who hobbled on a stick because of his broken leg and didn't fail to punish Leo or you for anything senseless. Your alcoholic mother who drowned her frustration in alcohol and was never there when you needed her. And Leo, your Leo that you loved so much. How many times did you want to run away and stay because of him? Then this picture shot in your head, you were 17 at the time and he was 15. One day you came home and his dead body had tumbled from the ceiling by his belt. He couldn't take it anymore and you hated yourself so much that you didn't notice.

"Honey?" Ally's voice brought you back to the present. You looked away from Oz, who was now looking at you in confusion, and fixed your gaze on Ally. "I thought it would be better if I gave you some time alone .." she whispered.

"Sure ..", you nodded slowly.

She smiled and squeezed your hand. "Good .." was the last thing she said before leaving the room.

You stood lost in the boy's room, who by now was fixated on his comic again, and didn't know what to do. You wanted to run after Ally, bury you in her arms and start crying. But you knew that it probably wouldn't go down too well with Oz, so you just paused.

"She's happy again .." Oz suddenly said without looking up from his comic.

"Excuse me, what?"

"I mean mom .. she laughs a lot more .."

"Didn't she do that before?", You were confused.

"Yea .. but it always seemed so forced .. When Delia and Mina started to meet her, she felt like shit and she had to get back to normal, she was somehow sick or something like that .. I think she is happy to have someone who didn't see her as this wreck and that's why she's happy .. "

You didn't answer what he said because you couldn't judge it.

So it takes three women to replace one .. you thought and immediately hated yourself for it.

"What are you reading?" You walked slowly to the bed and sat down next to Oz.

"Avengers .." he muttered.

Inside you were relieved, at least something you knew.

"And do you like it?", You looked into the book and began to read along. "It's cool .." he said curtly and read on.

"That's Civil War .." you stated after two minutes. Confused, he looked at you sideways. "You know it?" "Of course.." He nodded shortly before looking back into the book. "Are you Team Cap or Team Iron Man?" You asked. "Although I like Iron Man more, Team Cap .. The way Shield is fighting him here sucks," Oz said and you nodded. You noticed the Iron Man movie poster hanging on his closet. "Have you seen the films?" "Nope .." he shook his head. "Mom won't let me .." "How old are you?" "11 .." "Okay well .. maybe I can talk your mom and we can watch her together .." you said.

"Are you serious? ..", he looked at you skeptically. "Yes .." you nodded. "I mean it's her choice, but I don't think the films are that dangerous you can't watch them .." "That would be cool .." he muttered, staring at the Iron Man poster.

--------------------------

"How about Oz, Y / N?" Asked Mina, who was sitting across from you. You looked up from your meal.

"Good .." you mumbled briefly

"Good ..?" She repeated before taking another sip of her red wine. Her eyes were still attached to yours.

"Yes ... I think I'll be able to make friends with him .." you added when you noticed that your answer was a bit short.

It was 10 p.m. and the four of you hadn't eaten with the other girls and Oz as usual, but only did it now because Mina had come home so late. And you had been noticeably quiet, still thinking about your Leo.

Ally put a hand on your knee under the table as she always did to calm you down. "You seemed very ..", she searched for words. "impressed? I don't know .."

"Uhm yes .. I was a little bit overstrained ..", you tried to smile at her, but you could still feel Mina's penetrating look. Like she's trying to look inside your head.

Cordelia, realizing the tense mood, let out a laugh.

"Overstrained would also fit our attitude when we met him for the first time ..", she said and threw a loving look at Mina.

"yeah?" You asked confused, because Cordelia always got on well with everyone.

"Oh yes .." she continued. "Ally had also left us alone with him and we didn't even know what to do .. I think it is already difficult for a child to accept one new person in the mother's life and then two ... it was all a little bit complicated.."

"And what did you do then?"

"We ended up playing Monopoly .." she said with a grin. You started to laugh. "Monopoly?" "Yes and in the end Mina was angry because she had lost .." You looked at Mina, who blushed. "Those were the wrong rules we were playing with .." she muttered. "You're just a bad loser, honey .." Cordelia said, still grinning.

Smiling you looked back and forth between the women. "So are you all right?" Ally asked again, drawing your attention back to herself. You nodded quickly. "yes, it's all good. Oz is great .. so he told me that you wouldn't let him watch the Marvel films .. they really aren't that bad, I think it's okay .."

"You think so?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Jesus Ally, don't feel criticized right away..I just mean that I could imagine watching them with him..you know, then this thing with befriending him might work better ..", you said and started playing with your fingers

Her eyes relaxed at your words. "I think that's no problem .."

------------------------------------

The next day you lay on the sofa, tired, trying to get some sleep. At night it was impossible: every time you closed your eyes, you saw the picture of the dead Leo in front of your eyes.

Ally was sitting at the end of the sofa with your legs in her lap, her fingers running over them, while she was reading an article on her cell phone.

An approaching knock made you flinch and your body stiffened, which Ally didn't go unnoticed. This is your father, you startled for a moment.

"Don't worry, Princess .. outside of the bedroom, Mina's walking stick is no danger for you .." Ally said to you and laughed.

She might found it funny, but her words made you scared, not that you wouldn't be interested in this type of sex ... But the thought of Mina hitting you with her stick made you feel uncomfortable.

"Oz is looking for you Y / N ..", Mina said as she entered the room and saw Ally and you on the sofa. You nodded briefly and jumped up to go to the boy. "Thanks Mina .." was the last thing you muttered before you left the room.

Oz was in his room, as expected. You knocked just before you entered. He was sitting at his desk doing homework.

"Mina said you'd look for me .." you said and stepped up to him. "Are we watching Iron Man today?" He asked without looking up from his duties. "Today?", You were surprised. Ally had given Oz permission to watch the movies with you at breakfast, but you didn't expect to start today. "Yup.." "uhm...Sure" "Cool ..", he raised his head and grinned crookedly. Leo shot through your head. "See you later Y / N .." "See you then," you mumbled and left his room.

A few hours later you were sitting next to Ally's son on the sofa and tried to concentrate on the film. Oz sat next to you, focused on the film and just made a few comments.

The whole evening was relatively relaxed until Oz put his head on your shoulder and immediately you were a 13 year old girl again and next to you was not your lover's son, but your 10 year old brother Leo. You weren't in the living room either. You sat crouched at the end of your bed, Leo next to you, his head on your shoulder. The TV had turned into a door that you and Leo are now staring at, concentrating on the voices behind it. It was your father fighting with your mother. Your heartbeat quickened immediately. You could hear his footsteps as he hobbled his stick down the hall. It became harder to breathe when you saw the doorknob move down and-

"It works better than I expected.." Ally's voice whispered and you were immediately back in the living room.

"Is everything okay?" She asked confused when she saw your distraught look. You nodded slowly. "Yes-", you stuttered. "I'm just a little surprised, I thought it would be more complicated to make friends with Leo .." "Leo?", Ally sat down on the sofa and pulled her sleeping son into her lap. "Oz ..." you corrected yourself quickly. "I have no idea how I come up with Leo .. in the film someone was called that .." "You're shaking Y / N .." Ally remarked and saw you concerned at. "I'm sorry," you looked down at your trembling hands. "I'm just very nervous about Oz I think .."

Ally smiled. "You don't have to .. you're doing great .."

------------------- -----------

The next morning the 4 of you, Oz and the other girls were having breakfast together.

"That was cool last night, Y / N .." Oz said suddenly and your attention was on him.

"I think so too ..", you smiled gently at him.

"What I can think of .." Ally remarked. "I have a meeting tonight and Mina has to work late ... so you'll be alone with Oz ..." She looked back and forth between you and Cordelia. "I'm out .." Delia said and sipped her coffee. "Misty and I are going to the greenhouse tonight .." "Oz and I can come with you..I am sure that Oz-" "Misty and I want to be there alone, Y / N .." Cordelia shot you an apologetic look.

"Oh okay ..", you looked carefully at Oz, who was too busy with his food to catch anything in your conversation. "That's not a problem for you, is it?" Ally asked. You shook your head quickly. "No.."

So the subject was off the table and Mina's eyes stabbed your skin again. Although she hadn't said anything, she was probably the one who felt your discomfort the most.

In the evening you and Oz had dinner alone and at first everything went well, you talked about the movie from the previous evening over dinner and you didn't have to think about Leo at all.

"okay .." you started and stood up. "I'll tidy up the kitchen and that's when you finish your homework .." Oz grinned. "Whoever finishes first .." he said and ran out of the room. You had to smile when you started washing the dishes. 10 minutes later Oz walked slowly into the room and you immediately noticed that something was wrong.

"What's up?" You frowned. Oz without a word took out his soccer ball and a few broken pieces from behind his back. "What's that?" You asked calmly.

"I finished my homework and was playing with the ball in the living room. The ball hit Delia's vase and it fell from the cupboard .." he whispered and looked at the broken pieces in his hand.

You stared at him and saw Leo again and wondered what your dad would have done to him now. Tears stung your eyes. "I can't do this anymore .." you sobbed and buried your face in your hands.

Oz looked up at you with wide eyes. "I'm really sorry, Y / N! It wasn't on purpose ... I-"

"Oz no-" you said quickly and crouched down to look at him directly. "I'm not mad at you .. You know, I'm even glad that the thing is broken .. To be honest, I found the vase totally hideous .." "Really?" He asked skeptically. You nodded and tried to smile. "Are you hurt?" "No .." he shook his head.

"Well ... let's clean up the mess now and please don't play with the ball in the house anymore."

---------------------------

"Something is wrong with Y / N .." you heard Ally say to Cordelia the next evening.

You actually wanted to go to them in the living room, but when you heard your name, you couldn't help but stop to hear what they said about you.

"What do you mean?" You heard Delia ask. Ally seemed to think twice about what to say. "Oz told me last night that she started crying when he told her, the vase was broken .." she finally said.

Fuck. You closed your eyes

"I would probably have cried too, I liked the vase .." joked Cordelia. Ally groaned. "That's not funny Delia .. When I walked into the living room the day before, when Oz and Y / N were watching this movie, she also looked totally scared. She was shaking and looked like she was going to cry any moment .." she said.

Delia hummed thoughtfully. "Did you ask her about it?" "She said she was so nervous about Oz, but I don't believe her .. I guess-"

"What are you doing here in the dark, princess?" Mina's lips to your ear made you jump.

"Jesus, Mina .." you cursed and turned to your girlfriend. You could see her grinning in the moonlight that shone in through the hall window. "I didn't hear you coming .."

"If you can't even hear me coming, then you must have been really distracted .." she said, sounding somehow sad. "Let's go in. Unless you want to keep staring at the door here ..", she reached past you to open the door. You gave way and pointed into the room. "Age before beauty .." you just said and made her laugh before she entered the room in front of you.

The previous conversation between Ally and Delia never seemed to have taken place because they both just sat there, Delia read a book and Ally scrolled through her cell phone.

--------------------------

"Happy Birthday, Princess ..", Cordelia whispered in your ear in the morning and let you wake up. "How do you know that?", You grumbled tired and slowly opened your eyes. Delia sat next to you in the Scross-legged in bed. "I am the supreme, i know everything ..", she said smugly and let you snort in annoyance. "Of course you do .." you mumbled and sat up. "Where are Mina and Ally?"

"At work? Honey, it's 11 am .." Cordelia laughed. "And what are you still doing here?" You asked confused. "Can't I spend time with my girlfriend when it's her birthday?" She smiled sweetly at you.

"Do the others know ..?"

"Nope ..", she bit her lip. "I kind of felt like you wouldn't like it if we knew ..." "I don't either," you confirmed. "Still, you'll be sad when you find out .." she muttered.

For a moment it was quiet between the two of you and you just stared at each other. And just as you were wondering how Cordelia could look so good, even though she had just woken up too, she leaned over and kissed you.

"mh delia-" you protested against her lips.

"What?", She withdrew disappointed. "I actually wanted to give you your present now ..", she grinned and enjoyed how you blushed at her statement.

"At least let me brush my teeth beforehand .." you mumbled embarrassed and jumped off the bed.

"Hurry up, princess .."

---------------

In the late afternoon you sat across from Mina at the table. Ally was still working and Cordelia had arranged to meet Misty in the greenhouse. Mina was reading the paper in thought, a habit that you found incredibly cute. You yourself were playing some random game on your cell phone when the message tone on your cell phone beeped.

Message from Joanne: "Hello Y / N, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I'm going to your city next week because I have to go to the doctor and wanted to ask if you would like to meet me?

~ Joanne. "

Your heart quickened on the last sentence. Joanne was your mother and wrote you every year for your birthday, you had never even answered one of her messages and now she wanted to see you again after so many years. She would come here and there was nothing you could do against it.

"Y / N ..?"

You raised your eyes to Mina, who was frowning at you.

"You're hyperventilating .." she remarked emotionless.

"I'm just dizzy ...", you gasped and stood up to run into the bathroom, or rather to stumble into the bathroom. You could feel your stomach turn as you leaned over the toilet and vomited into the toilet bowl.

The world around you seemed to be spinning. The closed bathroom door became the door of your nursery, you could even hear the knock on your father's stick. And how he got closer and closer. You tried to scream, but your mouth was only a soft gasp. Tears stung your eyes. "Please .." you tried silently to get air. A hand put on your back and you instantly jumped away from the toilet. "Please don't hurt me ..", you whimpered and looked fearfully into the face of the person in front of you.

Mina stood in front of you in shock, she had never seen you like this before. And the look you gave her broke her heart. "Honey you need to calm down .." She sat carefully on the floor and grimaced as pain ran through her back. Slowly she reached out her hand to touch yours, which was a mistake. Your hand jerked back, you reached out and let your hand fall against her left cheek. "Don't touch me .." you growled. "What the hell Y / N .." Mina hissed, grabbing your cheeks and forcing you to look at her. "It's me, princess, Mina ..", she whispered and felt her own eyes fill with tears. Your eyes widened when you recognized your girlfriend. And with that you finally broke, but Mina was there to pull you into her lap while you cried into her blouse. She held you as tightly as she could while trying to process the things that had just happened. The cheek your hand had marked on it burned like fire and yet it was impossible for her to realize that you had just hit her. It had never been you, she thought. And yet it was you who was lying in her arms right now.

"I'm so sorry .." you sniffed into her blouse when you had slowly calmed down. Mina gently put her hands around your cheeks and searched your face as if it contained any answers for what had just happened. She swallowed just before speaking. "Are you scared of me, Y / N?"

When her words reached your ear, you wrapped your arms around her torso and did your best not to hurt her. You felt so damn guilty.

"I would never hurt you .." she said softly against your ear, her voice thick with tears.

"I know Mina .." you whispered. "And I could never be afraid of you .."

You drew her back before your fingers slided down her right cheek where your hand marked it. "I'm so sorry .." you repeated your words from a few seconds ago.

"I'm fine Y / N", Mina assured us and took your hand. "I'm just worried about you .. I've been watching you for the last few days, you're acting totally strange .."

"I'm okay .." you mumbled and stood up with shaky legs.

"Don't damn me lie to Y / N! ...", she hissed and there she was again, the strict Mina you loved so much.

"Mina .. I'm really fine, you just shouldn't worry .. That's why I would prefer if Ally and Delia didn't find out about what just happened ... "you said as you leaned towards the mirror to fix your hair.

Mina shook her head blankly and propped herself up. "You are unbelievably Y / N .. two minutes ago you were lying here on the floor and now you're pretending nothing happened ... You won't be able to run away forever .. "she said, took her walking stick and walked past you to leave the bathroom.

You had never spoken to anyone about it, nobody knew about what had happened in your family and actually you had sworn to yourself that you would never tell anyone about it. Simply because you felt terrible about it, somewhere Leo's suicide was also your fault because you weren't strong enough to defend him.

You ran into the hallway and saw Mina sitting at the table again. Lost in thought, she looked out the window. "I think I'll go to sleep, I'm relatively tired ..." you said. Mina didn't move an inch. "You probably won't see me again today .." you muttered and went into your bedroom to actually get some sleep.

---------------

A few hours later you woke up from a bad dream.

It was dark and the first thing you noticed was Minas lavender perfume that surrounded you. Then you realized that, despite the events of the previous day, you 4 had taken your usual sleeping position: You and Ally were in the middle. Cordelia on the right edge, next to Ally and Mina on the left edge, next to you. Mina had her arms wrapped tightly around you and your head was on her chest. Like a few hours ago in the bathroom, you noticed.

Are you scared of me, Y/N?

Mina's words echoed in your head. The sad look she gave you made you feel infinite guilt.

"Mina?" You whispered softly against her neck.

"mhm ..". Mina hummed in her sleep.

"Are you awake..?" You knew how stupid and unnecessary that question was, but you couldn't help it.

She didn't answer at first, before moving after a few seconds.

"Now yeah .." she muttered as she pressed her nose against your hair.

"I just wanted to say, I love you .." you whispered and played with the purple fabric of Mina's pajamas.

"I love you too, princess ..". Was her answer and she kissed you on the forehead. Then it became quiet again and after a few minutes you could tell from her breath that she had fallen asleep again. Unfortunately, in contrast to her, you were wide awake and therefore decided to get up. Carefully you free yourself from her arms and sat up in bed. Confused, you noticed that the place next to Ally, who was sleeping sweetly, was empty. Where was Cordelia? You carefully climbed out of bed and went to look for the blonde, only to find her in the bathroom. You crept and stopped suddenly when you saw Cordelia lying in the bathtub.

Cordelia gave you a warm smile when she saw you and you couldn't help but laugh out loud. "What's so funny?" Cordelia grinned. "You .." you uttered, still laughing. "I?"

"Yes. You .. It's two o'clock in the morning and you sit here in the dark and bathe ...". You trotted to the sink. "It's not completely dark, I lit candles ..", Cordelia defended herself. You shook your head in amusement and washed your face.

"You're sweating .." Cordelia remarked, referring to the sweat stains on your shirt. "Didn't sleep so well .." you replied curtly. "I guess you don't want to sleep again either ..?" "Nope .." You turned back to her.

"Well ... then I would love it if you kept me company here," Delia said and smiled again. You shook your head again, just grinning, before you pulled your shirt over your head and went to the tub to get into the water. Cordelia sat down so that you were sitting in front of her and your body was leaning against her bare torso. She carefully put her arms around your torso and rested her chin on your head. You lay down for a few minutes Just there and you would probably have fallen asleep had she not spoken.

"Mina told us about your dropout this afternoon .."

Of course she did..

You closed your eyes "Why don't you just tell us what's going on Y / N?" She began softly. "We're really really worried." "I can't Delia .. I've never talked about it .." you whispered. "So do you admit something is wrong?" You snorted. "Of course something is wrong .. I hit Mina."

"You know that she's not angry with you, she's just worried as I said .. You know, no matter what is on your mind, we all suffer with you, no matter whether you tell us what's going on or not .. ", Delia said and ran her wet fingers through your hair. You just nodded at her words. "You could only tell one of us if that helps you.", She offered, although she knew that this would also bring new problems. "No, I trust you all .. It's just that, as I said, I've never told anyone about it. I am just afraid of your reaction .. "you said.

"Oh y / n ..", she sighed and turned your head so that she could look you in the eye. "No matter what happened, we love you so much and nothing could change that ..". Again you nodded.

Then suddenly she got up and grabbed a towel. "What are you doing?" You asked confused when you watched her get out of the tub and dry off. "You pull the plug and get dressed ... Meanwhile, I'll wake Ally and Mina, we'll finally talk to each other .." she said and put her nightgown back on before she ran out of the bathroom.

"You won't do that, it's the middle of the night .." you shouted after her.

"I know."

You climbed out of the bathtub, trembling, and drained the water. You dried yourself off quickly and got dressed. Before you left the room, you took a quick look in the mirror. You looked like you were going to cry any minute.

"We're in the living room, Y / N .." Cordelia suddenly called. For a moment you closed your eyes, then you slowly walked into your common living room. Your 3 friends sat on the sofa and stared at you expectantly. Cordelia sat with her legs crossed, her hair wet and her short nightgown on the right end. Ally was sitting cross-legged to her left. Clad in a T-shirt and shorts, she narrowed her eyes against the light. And at the other end sat Mina, in her purple pajamas, her long red hair curling on the fabric. Her left hand held her walking stick and, as always, her gaze seemed to shine through you.

You sat in the chair in front of them when Ally held out her hand to you. "This is not a fucking interrogation Y / N ..". You carefully took her hand and she pulled you between Delia and herself. You stared nervously into your lap and played with your fingers. You could still feel their expectant looks.

"Oz looks like my little brother ..." you suddenly let out. "Is that all?" Ally asked confused. "No .." you shook your head and waited a few seconds. "..my childhood wasn't that great ... my mom had a big drinking problem I guess..". "And your father?" Cordelia asked. "Uhm, well ... he hit us when we didn't do things the way he wanted ..."

Briefly there was silence in the room. "That's awful Y / N, but what does this have to do with my son ..?" Ally finally asked.

"My brother committed suicide when he was 15 because of my parents .." you said and heard Ally take a shaky breath. "And actually I had repressed all of that over the years and when I saw Oz ... I only saw Leo ...".

You got up and walked to an unpacked box with your things. You came back with a picture, which you put into Delia's hand. It was a family photo. Delia stared hard at the photo. "Your father had a walking stick .." she said suddenly and you instinctively looked at Mina, who was staring lost at the floor. Her grip on her own walking stick had tightened so much that you could be afraid it would be squeezed by her fingers. "His left leg wasn't healthy ... that's why he hobbled ...". Delia passed the photo on to Ally, who only had eyes for the blond boy next to you. "Well .. he actually looks a bit like Oz ..", Ally only mumbled and wanted to pass the picture on to Mina, but she just shook her head. "I do not want to see this..".

Again there was brief silence and again Ally was the one breaking it. "When I told you about Ivy and said I don't want any secrets between us, I actually assumed you'd think that way too..That's why I'm kind of angry Y / N..I mean, Do you don't trust us?"

You just wanted to speak, when Cordelia came before you. "She wasn't ready yet, Ally..She-" "Cordelia, I asked Y / N and not you .." Ally hissed.

"I've never told anyone about it ..." was all you said. "But we're not just anyone .." Ally sounded disappointed. "I didn't want you guys to think wrong of me .." you said softly. Cordelia leaned forward and grabbed your hand. "What happened is not your fault .. it was your brother's decision and your parents' fault .." "But maybe I could have done more .." you whispered, tears gathering in your eyes. Cordelia just sighed and pulled you into her lap. You leaned your back against her chest and listened for her heartbeat.

"And what was yesterday?" Asked Ally. "Something must have triggered your strange behavior .." "My mother texted me .. she does that every year on my birthday .." you said.

"It was your birthday?" Ally looked at you with raised eyebrows.

You nodded briefly and made Ally moan in frustration. "If you don't even tell us that anymore, then-" "She said she would come here next week because she has to see a doctor .. She wants to meet with me .." you interrupted her. "But I don't want to see her ..", you felt tears running down your face.

Ally just shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You should have talked to us much earlier Y / N ..", Mina finally said. "Even if this is all new now, we are a family and it is our job to make sure that you are okay. We would never have left you alone with Oz, had we known about your brother .. Not just about you to protect, but also because of Oz's safety. It's important that we trust each other, we've all been through complicated things .. " You nodded guiltily again.

Cordelia cleared her throat. "The scars on your back, you told us they were from a car accident, is that true?" "No .." you said. Suddenly you felt Delia's cool fingers pulling up your shirt and exposing your scars. "Delia what-" "Shut up, Y / N .." They'd all seen your scars before, but knowing that those scars were someone's craft, made them look a lot more brutal when Delia gently ran her fingers over them. "Did he? ..- asked Mina. You nodded and tears fell into your lap as you let out a sob. "I'm sorry," you said, holding a hand over your mouth to stifle your sobs.

"Damn Y / N, stop apologizing ..". Ally jumped up, stood in front of Delia and you, pressed your head against her flat stomach and rubbed your upper back with her hand. Delia's fingers continued to slide to the scars on your side. "Was that him too?" She asked softly. "No .." you answered. "Then who was it? Your moth-" "It was her, Delia .." Mina interrupted her with closed eyes. How could they have been so blind? Such scars did not appear in car accidents.

"Is that true Y / N?", Cordelia's voice trembled when she asked. "I'm so sorry .." you sniffed at Ally's shirt. "Back then I didn't know how to deal with everything .." "Shhh princess .." Ally cooed. "Please finally stop apologizing for something you can't do anything about .."

"Honey, do you still hurt yourself sometimes?" Asked Mina, who had slipped up to you and put her hand on yours.

"I've stopped doing that since Leo's death .. I think he saw me with a knife sometimes ..". The thought of it brought new tears to your eyes and made you sob one more time.

Cordelia pulled the fabric of your shirt back down before leaning her head on your back and wrapping your arms around your waist. Mina, who was sitting next to Delia, was the only one who could see her tears as she reached out her hand to gently run through Delia's hair. "Some things are going to change now, Y / N .." she said firmly. "We'll be more careful about some things and we'll also have to see how we deal with Oz without it being uncomfortable for him or you. I'll contact your mother and make it clear to her that you don't want any more contact. We can't stop Oz looking the way he looks, but we'll help you deal with it because that's what we're here for .. ". Her thumb brushed the back of your hand, which was in her lap. That was the last thing that was said that night, but you stayed in that position for a long time. You in the midst of your worried lover

[tpwktaron]

My Quarantine Watchlist

hello! i hope this post finds you in good health. today i decided to go a little out of my category of what i usually post and make a movie watchlist. if you haven’t seen what i usually repost, i’m a huge movie buff, and are always adding new films to my watchlist. (you should add me on letterboxd! same username.) so, i compiled a list of my top 10 movies. some of them aren’t considered to be critically acclaimed, but they are still comforting and happy, especially during this rough time we are having. i hope you give these a try, and let me know what you think! disclaimer: i am not a movie expert! some terminology i use is definitely not correct lol. 

1. rocketman - dir. dexter fletcher, 89%

this movie really means so much to me, it’s definitely one of my absolute favorites. taron egerton does an absolutely amazing job as elton john, not just through his performance but his through his singing. yes, he sings the music as well! the music is also perfectly placed throughout the movie to tell the story of elton john’s life. 

synopsis: pretty self explanatory; a musical fantasy about the life of elton john.

2. onward - dir. dan scanlon - 87%

really awesome pixar movie! definitely a great movie for anyone who is a fan of animation, some of the most beautifully animated scenes i have ever seen! i guess that’s just pixar for you. 

synopsis: a teenage elf ian lightfoot and his brother barley are given a spell to bring their late father back to life, but when they mess up the first time, they have to go on a quest to find a phoenix gem to bring him back.

3. eddie the eagle - dir. dexter fletcher - 82%

another masterpiece by the dexter fletcher and taron egerton! this is my favorite movie of all time. it’s so heartwarming and motivating, it’s a great pick-me-up film for when i’m feeling down. taron egerton is definitely a chameleon actor, and can slip into any role with ease! him and hugh jackman have such great chemistry, and this movie easily displays that.

synopsis: based on a true story, olympics-bound eddie edwards trains for the winter olympics as a ski jumper, one of the most dangerous sports in the world, with help from his drunken “coach,” bronson peary.

4. lady bird - dir. greta gerwig - 99%

ugh. this movie. i can’t! when i first watched it it left me speechless. it’s an outstanding coming-of-age film, and a great mother-daughter film as well. christine and her mom’s relationship is hilariously heartwarming. another touch i love is the grainy filter throughout the movie. it was a great touch to add an early 2000′s feel! saoirse ronan’s performance was extraordinary. everything about this movie is 10/10, and i cannot recommend this movie enough, especially to teenagers heading off the college.

synopsis: marion mcpherson, a nurse, works tirelessly to keep her family afloat after her husband loses his job. she also maintains a turbulent bond with a teenage daughter who is just like her: loving, strong-willed and deeply opinionated.

5. love, simon - greg berlanti - 92%

love, simon is a perfectly made film to demonstrate the experience of coming out as a gay teen. it’s funny and witty, with some heart-warming yet heart-wrenching drama. i can’t explain it, but this movie makes me feel things i didn’t think i could feel. nick robinson is a great actor, and this movie got paid dust!! by everyone!!

synopsis: everyone deserves a great love story, but for 17-year-old simon spier, it’s a little more complicated. he hasn’t told his family or friends he’s gay, and he doesn’t know the identity of the anonymous classmate that he’s fallen for online. resolving both issues proves hilarious, terrifying, and life-changing.

6. jojo rabbit - dir. taika watiti - 80%

when i first saw this movie in the theater, i wasn’t sure if i was going to like it. i’m not a fan of war movies and violence, so i was a little uneasy. turns out this could possibly be one of the best movies of 2019! roman griffin davis is the best child actor i’ve ever seen. this movie is a wonderful depiction of anti-hate, and of what life was like for germany during world war II. it shows in a funny way how silly nazi views are. it creates humor over such a sensitive subject, yet you don’t feel bad for laughing!

synopsis: a world war II satire that follows a lonely german boy whose world view is turned upside down when he discovers his single mother is hiding a young jewish girl in their attic. aided only by his idiotic imaginary friend, adolf hitler, jojo must confront his blind nationalism.

7. little women - dir. greta gerwig - 95%

greta gerwig strikes again! she literally has never made a bad movie. this movie is based off of the famous novel little women. it has a star studded cast of timothee chalament, saoirse ronan, florence pugh, emma watson, and laura dern. the power of women!!

synopsis: in the years after the civil war, jo march lives in new york and makes her living as a writer, while her sister amy studies painting in paris. amy has a chance encounter with theodore, a childhood crush who proposed to jo but was ultimately rejected. their oldest sibling, meg, is married to a schoolteacher, while shy sister beth develops a devastating illness that brings the family back together.

8. the greatest showman - dir. michael gracey - 56%

my favorite original musical movie. hugh jackman is such an amazing singer and actor! this movie was one of the first movies that really turned me into a true film admirer. the music has some of the most beautifully written lyrics i know, and it’s a great family movie! it’s intense, yet happy, yet sad, yet exciting, yet every single emotion one person could feel. 

synopsis: growing up in the early 1800s, p.t. barnum displays a natural talent for publicly and promotion, selling lottery tickets by age 12. after trying his hands at various jobs, p.t. turns to show business to indulge his limitless imagination, rising form nothing to create the barnum & bailey circus. 

9. bohemian rhapsody - dir. bryan singer - 60%

although it may have it’s inaccuracies here and there, this movie is still heartwarming and conveys a heartwarming message and moral. rami malek performs as freddie mercury wonderfully, and the chemistry between the cast is indescribable. and what takes the cake? the live-aid re-enactment at the end of the movie, with the band’s mannerisms and everything recreated to the t. 

synopsis: freddie mercury - lead singer of queen - defies stereotypes and convention to become one of history’s most beloved entertainers. the band’s revolutionary sound and popular songs lead to queen’s meteoric rise in the 1970s. after leaving the group to pursue a solo career, mercury reunites with queen for the benefit concert live aid - resulting in one of the greatest performances in rock ‘n’ roll history.

10. anchorman - dir. adam mckay - 66%

my favorite comedy of all time. will ferrell, steve carrell, and paul rudd are all my favorite comedians, so this movie speaks to me. it’s hilariously stupid, but i still love it and recommend it to everyone i know.

synopsis: hotshot television anchorman ron burgandy welcomes upstart reporter veronica corningstone into the male-dominated world of 1970s broadcast news - that is, until the talented female journalist begins to outshine burgandy on air.

[jojotichakorn]

Theory of Love: Review (& General Info)

Summary: Third is a film major, who’s been in love with his best friend Khai since the very first day of university. The problem is, Khai has a rule - he doesn’t date friends. And to make matters worse, he is a terrible player, who’s dated girls from each faculty. Will Third give up on pursuing Khai? Love him from afar? Or will something entirely unexpected happen? (Trailer)

Couples: Two mlm couples - one main, one background.

Running Time: 12 episodes - around 53 minutes each - 10,5 hours in total

Cast (& their Instagram pages): Gun Atthaphan (Third), Off Jumpol (Khai), White Nawat (Two), Mike Chinnarat (Bone), Earth Pirapat (An), Neen Suwanamas (Lyn), Sara Legge (Paan), Foei Patara (Chen), [more].

Where to watch? YouTube

Related Shows: None

My Review:

Rating: 5.5/10

Short review: Considering how I didn’t connect with some of the actors, most of the characters and pretty much all relationships, as well as with the plot overall, I found this BL kind of boring and even annoying at times. There is enough problematic moments here and there, but I wouldn’t say they’re necessarily critical. This is possibly my most subjective review to date, because most things I don’t like about this show just don’t fit me personally. And since it’s not that bad and I know that a lot of people love it, maybe you will too. So at the end of the day, I don’t recommend it, but I’m not saying you should be necessarily staying away from it either. Though, as usual, it’s obviously your own decision to make.

Extended review (under the cut):

Theory of Love is one of those BLs that everyone seems to love. It’s on everyone’s list of favorite BLs of all time, and every character favorites list features at least one person from TOL. Which is why I feel weird about not liking it.

The thing is though, I don’t hate it. I think it’s kind of alright and at times really annoying and problematic, but that’s about it. Mostly, I just don’t care about it. Like at all. And I’m gonna talk about why.

So, the cast of TOL is stellar, in my personal opinion. At least, at face value it is. There’s extremely popular familiar faces, like Off, Gun, Earth, White and Neen. New faces that truly captivated me right away, like Sara, Foei and especially Mike. And, most of them lived up to my expectations. Off is still good, Earth is still as perfect at subtle acting as he’s always been (which is especially helpful this time around), everyone is just truly great. Well, with one exception. And I should’ve probably mentioned this last, because he is generally accepted as one of the best actors not only in GMM, but in the BL industry in general. But, I did not believe Gun at all. And I want to mention that it’s the first time I don’t believe Gun like this. I don’t know what happened in TOL (besides, I’m sure lots of people will disagree with me), but to my mind he wasn’t real as Third at all. I don’t see him being in love with Khai. He says that he is and everything he does confirms it (like literally everything – cute moments and thoughts and looks, all the puzzle pieces are there), but I just don’t see it. And he never really manages to make me feel anything. He cries and breaks down and has a generally terrible time, and with my head I understand that this is all extremely said, but my heart stays still – I don’t feel a thing. And maybe that’s why I never managed to like TOL that much – because I am completely disconnected with the lead. But it is what it is, you know.

The characters in this show once again make me feel conflicted. Third’s personality is far more sarcastic and blunt than other BL mains’ – and I do like that. Khai, on the other hand, was first unlikable to me and like really annoying, and then after feeling a little bad for him closer to the end, my pity sort of cancelled out my hate and they met in the middle, making me just not care for him at all. They do try to give background characters a little more depth just by having one-two conversations with them alone, but it feels kind of forced – like they knew they needed to make them more real, but they did it so mechanically that they ended up being even more fake. Thus, the most memorable and likable characters to me ended up being the ones we know the least about – An and Chen.

The friendships in this drama are good and bad all at the same time. I don’t think I have to mention that Khai is a terrible friend, but it’s meant to be that way, so that was handled perfectly. I was never really sure why anyone was friends with him in the first place (or at least anyone who isn’t Third, because love is blind), but that happens sometimes – we get stuck with shitty people, so whatever. I can see how that could happen. Otherwise, friendship in TOL is kind of a one-way train. It’s a great modern train with all luxuries, but it only goes one way. What I mean by that is all background characters like Two, Bone, An and Chen are amazing friends to Khai and/or Third. Their relationship is truly detailed, they apologize, help, notice things, talk - just do things friends do. But, Khai and Third don’t return the favor. And I could understand why that happens with someone like Chen or even An – they aren’t really POV characters in any instance in the show. But, Bone and Two have their own real storylines and things happening in their lives, which the viewer follows and is invested in. But Khai and Third don’t know about them, because they just never even ask how their friends are doing. Which sucks.

The romantic relationships in this show are (mostly) a mess. Khai and Third’s “bond” is nowhere near being profound – it’s toxic, damaging and disappointing. At the end they do get together and “Yay!” I guess, but I don’t see them truly resolving their issues (or realistically staying together for long). For example, Third clearly still doesn’t trust Khai and it’s mentioned for the drama, but then it’s never truly resolved. Bone is thrust into this weird thing with his professor – and thank gods he didn’t end up with her, but it was still really unnecessary in my opinion. An and Two are sort of a beam of light in this whole relationship mess. Overall, they have a pretty good storyline – its complicated enough and simple enough in all the right places. There are things that are kind of related to An and Two that kind of make me mad – for example, the way Two tries approaching Lyn. But, mostly it’s good. I especially liked how their connection was subtly established from the very beginning – and looking back at it (or rewatching it), you can see some clear signs.

The overall plot is kind of good. It can be funny and even self-aware at times, though there are a lot of unrealistic, stupid, nonsensical things there as well. The only real specific criticism I have is that background storylines don’t seem to exist outside of background storylines. There is a lot of examples with AnTwo specifically. The KhaiThird and AnTwo plots are sort of intertwined, because An is Third’s friend, as well as Khai’s supposed rival (because everyone thinks An is approaching Third), and obviously Two is Khai and Third’s friend, who is directly involved in their relationship. So, there are moments when – for example – Khai is jealous of Third and An, Two is there (at the time, already realizing he feels something for An, or that he is at least important to him), but he is completely unfazed, as if this doesn’t have anything to do with him at all. Which, even if he was approaching it all “maturely” or trying to hide his real feelings, there would still be some sort of minor reaction. And there’s just none.

The theme of someone confidently believing in something and it not being true is present multiple times in this show. And usually, when a story does that, it’s quite complicated. All the facts are carefully established so that the viewer believes the lie, and then when the truth is revealed, the viewer looks back on the story and sees all the clear clues to the truth that were given, as well as just how and why they’ve misinterpreted every detail that led them to believe the lie. This all is very hard work that requires some smart, careful planning. Which TOL didn’t do. An truly seems to be into Third and there is no other way to interpret some of the things he does with him, and Khai truly does act really flirty with Third in the beginning, which can only be interpreted as him trying to approach Third, which was not true at the time. (Even if he subconsciously liked him, that was legit planned flirting – not subtle things that could reveal his true feelings). It’s clear that this is all done for the drama with all disregard to why this trope is usually used. And there is many moments where something really nonsensical and completely inexplicable happens just to further the drama. TOL is drenched in plotlines like that – and there is nothing I hate more than unnecessary drama.

The movie theme is present throughout the whole show – both directly and indirectly. They do connect everything with movies quite well, and the cinematography choices are more meaningful than they usually are. The way shots are set up, the subtle details that are hidden in camera work and setting specifically – all of it is quite artistic and careful, which makes me think it was done specifically because of the relating themes of movie making in the show itself. The only thing I didn’t really like was how much the things that were happening was compared to “how as if it was all just a movie”. It was ironic the first couple of times, but stupid and repetitive the next hundred.

LGBTQ+ issues aren’t really touched upon in the show. But, when they kind of are – it ain’t it chief. Khai’s friend telling him he couldn’t possibly imagine “a dude like him being into another dude”, Khai feeling uncomfortable with imagining a date with Third similar to the ones he takes his girlfriends to, and the ever present intimacy problem, which mostly belongs to AnTwo here (boyfriends kiss, GMM – they do). Now in certain context or with some explanation, these might’ve been better, but there is no good context or explanation here – it’s just Bad.

There’s quite a few other problematic moments in this show. A lot of them are connected with Khai and Third. For example, Khai physically pins Third down when he’s trying to talk to him, while Third cries and screams to let him go. After receiving a “no” over and over again, Khai asks Third to be his boyfriend once again – this time in a public place, making a big deal out of it, with everyone chanting “yes”. Khai also admits that he sees all the girls he’s with as an object – which in the context is positioned against Third, who he sees as a person. It’s made to look romantic and special, but it’s just some kind of a new fucked up version of “you’re not like other girls”. Also, and this is slightly less serious but very annoying to me, Bone’s new girlfriend was introduced at the very end of the series. And by introduced, I mean “Here’s a girl, she’s Bone’s girl” – and that’s the entirety of the introduction. It has no value or meaning to the viewer and seems to send a message that Bone’s story could only have a happy ending, if he ended up in a relationship as well, which is obviously a shitty fucking message. I would’ve preferred him staying single.

Finally, talking about some small details that caught my attention. The main quartet is a very stereotypical teen movie gang, but I think that’s intentional and it does fit well. They’re also third and forth years, which is kind of unusual for BLs, so that’s pretty cool. I do love the style – I want all their outfits and hairstyles like right now. The sound choices are not always the best, but the music can be pretty nice. There’s quite a few metaphors here and there – and they’re actually good. But, there’s not nearly enough attention to detail sometimes. The kisses are really good – no doubt about that here. And, surprisingly, they address the fact that kissing someone out of the blue is not ok multiple times, which is really great (and – let’s be fair – pretty unexpected, which makes it even better).

Overall, as I’ve said before, I don’t really hate this show. Despite criticizing it, I mostly just don’t care for it. It isn’t a BL I would recommend to someone, but if I was actually asked, if someone should watch this specific BL – I would say “Sure, why not”. It’s not that bad and I know that a lot of people love it, so maybe you will too. So at the end of the day, I don’t recommend it, but I’m not saying you should be necessarily staying away from it either. Though, as usual, it’s obviously your own decision to make.

[mozarellarellarella123-blog]

El amor esta aqui

By mozarellarellarella123

@shalilyweek

Writers Note:

Hello everyone!!! I’m fairly new to this community and I’m glad to be a part of it! By the way, the title (El amor esta aqui) translates to “love is here” from Spanish to English. (Not accurately) Anyway, before you read, I’d like to thank @indayiashow for helping and inspiring me to be a part of this community and to write fan-fics like this! Another note, this is actually my first fan fiction (So naturally it’s gonna be terrible) so please tell me what you think because even if you say something like: “This was terrible and never do this again”, I’d rather have that then a comment that lies to me about my work. So please leave criticism down below!!! 😊 Anyway, lets get to the story!

Fandom: Fairy Tail | Characters: (Human) Shagotte X Pantherlily | Word Count: 2,208 | Age: 13+ (Includes bad words and fluff)

Heavy and shining lightning strook the sky from the rain-filled heavy clouds above as rain wet the land like a cold shower and hit Lily’s umbrella, making a pitter-patter sound as hail hit Lily’s head like a hard rock being thrown at him. Lily was shivering cold and sidestepping along the wet pavement. He was wearing some green and purple nike trainers, a soaked shirt and tie, some drenched blue jeans and a smart top hat which was also wet. The street lamp illuminated Lily’s smile. He had finally arrived.

But where did lily arrive? Why was he in the rain and how did he find himself into this situation? It all started in Lily’s house. It was your regular, average day and lily was relaxing in his house.

He was watching a movie with the fire on, some marshmallows and a soft, woollen blanket. He heard a knock and paused the film to answer the door. “Hello-“ Lily was in shock. It was none other then his old friend Gajeel Redfox.

“What’s up punk?” Gajeel Laughed histerically while smiling cheekily. “Gajeel! It’s been a while hasn’t it?!” Lily exclaimed a little too loudly. “...”. An awkward silence occurred as the two stopped looking at each other and started to twiddle their thumbs or look the other way.

Finally, Gajeel broke the silence in a heartwarming and honest way. “Look lily, I’m sorry for what I did...” He softly said as he started to make eye contact with lily again. “I’m sorry too.....” Lily muttered awkwardly while looking down and fiddling with his fingers.

“To make it up to you, I want you to come to a party I’m hostin’. How does that sound huh?” Gajeel explained bravely. A smile spread across Lily’s face. “I would love to.” He replied with a bright smile and shaking Gajeel’s hand.

Lily would’ve brang a coat and a pair of boots if he knew it would rain this hard. He brought out an umbrella but the heavy drops of rain and the intense, strong and superior wind blew the umbrella away, leaving lily exposed to the lightning and hail.

This would’ve been a lot easier if he went to the party by car, so then he could avoid the rain and get there in a jiffy. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t afford a car; he couldn’t even afford most things. He wasn’t the richest person in the world but he definitely had the looks.

He would’ve entered the party in style if his whole outfit wasn’t soaked to the core. Once he arrived, he knocked the door and rang the doorbell. He shivered intensely while waiting for someone to let him in. After 5 minutes had passed, lily knocked again and at last, Gajeel answered the door. He just opened the door and walked away, not even welcoming lily into his house. This was why they fell out in the first place, Gajeel being a dick.

Once he walked in, he was blinded by a disco ball, colourful lights and massive fog machines. He had to close his eyes and shove his way past everyone into the bathroom. Once he was in there, he used a towel to dry himself off and make sure he looked smart. He fixed his tie and did his collar until he looked fairly presentable. (Well at least, as presentable as you can look when you have been walking in the harsh rain for 20 minutes)

The lights weren’t blinding him when he walked out of the bathroom so he decided to take this chance to look around. There was a disco area, a karaoke/stage area,(Where Gajeel was) a snack area and a gaming area.

This area particularly peaked Lily’s interest as he was indeed a gamer. When he is off work, he usually games for 2-3 hours before going to bed. He absolutely loved gaming. Gaming was his soul. Gaming kept him alive. Gaming was his true passion and he wouldn’t give it up for absolutely anything.

He walked over to that area faster then a cat chasing a mouse and soon found himself in the middle of three sections. These sections were: The Video Game area, (Where people played video games) The board Game area, (Where people played board games) and finally, The card area, where you can imagine what they play there. He swiftly approached the video game area.

Lily sat down next to a person who had won matches 5 times in a row with complete perfection and accuracy. “So, you just arrived?” She asked menacingly while giving lily a dirty look through her black sunglasses.

She was an absolute badass. Lily gulped. He obviously picked a fight with someone way above his competition. But, he was prepared. He was ready. He turned around and what he saw was absolutely mind blowing.

It was a women with beautiful white hair that flowed down her body like a river, some beautiful jewellery that you could see your own reflection in and a beautiful dress that complimented her entire body. Lily had never seen someone so beautiful in his entire life. In fact, he has never actually felt love until now.

His heart rate went from 60 to a clean 120 in nothing short of a millisecond. “Ahem?!” She scowled intimidatingly. Lily had completely forgotten about her question because of this girl.

His mouth was watering and his senses were tingling. He quickly remembered what the women had asked him and answered as quickly as he could. “Y-y-yeah...” He awkwardly stumbled out.

She didn’t say a word after that and just started the match. They were playing smash bros and Lily loved to play as mewtwo. That was his favoutite character. The terrifying and mysterious women played as Mario, simple but complicated.

Lily turned around to see the girl watching him play. He must not lose. Or else that may lead to massive embarrassment. He had to win. It was the only way. His heart rate shot up again and he could literally feel his heart pounding out of his chest.

This match decided his fate.

The match had started. 3, 2, 1, GO!!! Lily immediately attacked his neural special which fired a shadow ball. She immediately parried it with a perfect shield. Lily was in shock.

Her instincts and reflexes were on a whole new level. A lever way higher than Lily’s playing level. She saw her advantage and immediately attacked back with 3 fireballs.

Lily didn’t have the reflexes to dodge or parry it in time, so he ended up taking the hit. 12% damage. Lily got annoyed and immediately used his side smash. This sent Mario flying and now all lily had to do was to stop her from getting back onto the stage.

On the edge, lily ceased his opportunity and used his down special, disable. This let her off the platform completely and she went flying into the distance. She had an agitated look on her face. A look of rivalry and revenge.

She was absolutely pissed. Lily gulped again. He just had to survive one more minute more until the time ran out. But there was a thin chance of him surviving her wrath.

When she respawned, she immediately started throwing punches, none of which lily could dodge. She kept on going until her final smash meter was charged up. This was bad news.

She was gonna finish him off with one last final sweep. It was called fireball finale. This was the attack that was gonna send lily flying off stage. Lily immediately started to jump around because if she missed then her chance of using it would be over. But she wasted absolutely no time in using it. There it was.

Fireball Finale.

The move that sent lily flying off stage. GAME!!! The match had ended. They both had one kill on each other. A tie. Which means this could only be settled in sudden death.

Sudden death was a finale move that ended everything off. Lily was so scared. More scared then he has ever been is his entire life. He looked at the mysterious women. Her face told of winning and determination. Lily’s face told of the opposite. SUDDEN DEATH!!! GO!!!!!

This was now or never. Lily immediately used disable, which stunned her and gave lily one last chance. One last chance to attack. The stage was filling with fire and he had finite time. He made his final attack and it finished her off. GAME!!!

She obviously was annoyed but you could literally see the red on her face. After all of Lily’s hard gaming and training, he had broken her winning streak. She immediately left annoyed and frustrated with herself.

The beautiful girl went over to him and happily said: “That was amazing!!! You did great!” Lily smiled joyously. He was victorious. “Thank you but it was nothing really...” He mumbled overconfidently.

“What’s your name?” She asked curiously. “Pantherlily. But you can call me lily.” Lily told her. “Shagotte is mine. But you can call me anything you want!” She explained excitedly. “Shagotte is just fine for me.” He replied.

This made her blush and put a massive smile on her face. They both shared a glance at each other. A glance that spoke to them saying: “Love has finally arrived. Love is here.”

They walked to the dance floor holding each other’s hands. Lily did the gentlemanly thing and asked: “May I have this dance?” Shagotte straight away started to dance with him. Kisses and hugs were exchanged and that night was one of Lily’s best nights in his entire life.

Lily couldn’t sleep that night. His thoughts had filled up with love and romance and dance like a whole new world had been opened up to him. He finally fell asleep and dreamed about Shagotte. Getting married, having kids and overall living a good life. When he woke up he cried and wished that dreams could be brought to life.

He wondered why he was so addicted. Why was he so drawn to Shagotte like a magnet? He pulled himself together and got out of bed. He put a vest and some underwear on, and shortly head downstairs for a nice bowl of cereal.

After that, he started to clean frantically. He wouldn’t normally clean but he knew that Shagotte was coming over to his house for the day, and he needed to clean. Sure his house wasn’t very “grand” or “stylish” but inviting her over would put him closer to bringing that dream to real life just like he wished.

Once he finished cleaning, he put some clothes on, used deodorant and brushed his teeth until they were sparkling clean like a diamond being polished with a cloth. He heard the doorbell ring and got excited. He rushed downstairs and took deep breaths, trying to hide his everlasting excitement for her, and finally opened the door.

“Hello!!! Come in and make yourself at home!” Lily welcomed kindly. She smiled at the warm opening and sat on the couch. “Would you like some tea or coffee?” He asked, trying to be as polite as possible.

“Coffee please! And can I have 2 sugars and milk in it as well?” She questioned while also trying to hide her excitement for him. “Coffee with milk and two sugars coming right up!!!” He exclaimed. Shagotte turned on the tv and enjoyed herself.

Once lily made two coffees, they both sat down and started a conversation. “So, how has life been treating you?” Lily asked, trying to start up a conversation. “It’s been okay I guess... It’s just that...” Shagotte muttered sadly. “I’ve been really lonely lately...”

“Yeah me too. I understand.” He said awkwardly. “I’ve been struggling for money and working at this job I hate.” She stuttered while taking a small sip of her coffee. “I’m also struggling with money and a job to find.” Lily replied.

“I have no friends, no job and no money.” She stated in a depressed tone. It was like they were in the same boat. Lily also didn’t have these things and was in a state of sadness. He decided to cheer her up.

“That’s a lie. You have one friend. And that friend is me.” He declared heartwarmingly. Lily could see the tears in her eyes. “Oh lily-“ She cried as she gave him a massive hug and a kiss.

Lily saw an opportunity and whispered in her ear: “I love you.” These three words made Shagotte burst into even more tears; tears of happiness and pure joy.

“I love you too... lily...” She sniffled while tightening her hug even more. “I absolutely hate my house. I live in a cramped flat that only has one room in it.” Lily started to feel bad because he thought that his house was bad.

“So please!!! PLEASE!!! Can I live here?!” She wailed loudly, letting all of her feelings out. “Yes. Of course you can.” Lily smiled rapidly. This resulted in even more tears and love.

The next day they became boyfriend and girlfriend. Lily had found his hope. His light at the end of the dark tunnel. His happiness. Happiness that he had been searching for but could never find. The happiness that led to a bright and joy-filled future.

-mozarellarellarella123

[helencake35-blog]

how does anime work?

I think it is important and interesting to find out the fundamental aspects of the environment that we most have a passion for, and one of the most critical questions is: how is cartoons built? For me, specifically recently, this became a using up question and I ended right up doing some detailed analysis. For the sake involving other anime followers together with the same question, My partner and i thought about sharing my own benefits. So if you want the bullets in order to fire again the subsequent time you receive ensnared upward in a debate with regards to the merits of anime, or you want some sort of new way to watch cartoons, I hope this article is useful to you. In often the last year roughly, my personal growing interest in this kind of side of points seriously opened my eyes to the skill, art, passion, and splendor found within Japanese animation. This great article will focus on anime-TV manufacturing, but the same general process can be applied to videos in addition to OVUM. That claimed, there can be numerous variations between studios and even individual musicals or plays. The approach of doing an anime is difficult, with quite a few steps and development. This specific graphic from the AIC English website is the good image image involving what I will certainly focus on: The cartoons generation course of action. Preproduction: This process will depend on which promotes an concept in addition to who supports this, they can be animation companies, coupled with sponsors, although quite a few animes are manga arrangement or mild novels, throughout which case in advance writing costs (including costs). proven on television stations). This production corporation (eg Aniplex) gathers personnel, sponsors, and even looks at adverts together with merchandise. While numerous persons describe the galleries because cheap, only about half the budget is often this anime studio, the sleep is handed down by exhibits and other giving companies. Streaming costs are surprisingly high, according to this ghost blogger of roughly 50 million yen for an evening schedule in 5-7 discussions for a good 52-episode line. You can certainly see why anime is usually an expensive company. For instance, Whole Metal Alchemist, which will acquired a space in Saturday on 6: 00 p. n., had a good total budget of five hundred million yen (before more costs). When the core staff is arranged, these people meet and plan his or her anime, work on collection make up (how the cartoons will play in each tv show as well as throughout the series), and select bigger employees, such as character or maybe mecha designers.. One connected with the most crucial employees is the director. In order to fully grasp the role involving film fans, you can consider of them for the reason that film fans of a movie, yet instead of dealing together with the celebrities, they deal with the computer animators that make the characters inside the movie. Their participation is frequently attending conferences and producing decisions to manage the particular anime's schedule, budget, and even level of quality. After the 1st panoramic sessions, models will be created (character, mechón, fancy dress costumes, etc. ). Types will be obviously an important factor within developing a good cartoons. Character designers are requested with simplifying manga / example of this designs to turn out to be suitable for animation or maybe, in the case of the original anime, for you to create a fresh character placed based with director / manufacturer information. Character creative designers generally keep on to advise animation film fans on toon fixes, which must be made for you to stay near their character models (in which circumstance they are normally credited as animation movie director intended for the series). Once typically the tale and drawings can be attracted, the first episode is managed. production: The first step is in order to write down thier script for this episode. Following the synopsis and plans for your episodes, this entire sets can be prepared, both by a single person with regard to the entire series, or perhaps by means of several different writers based on the outlines of the script's normal examiner (staff credit: composition in the Serie). The examples are usually analyzed by means of this movie director, the suppliers, in addition to possibly because of the author of the original get the job done before it is completed (after 3 or maybe 4 drawings, often). The episode movie director, supervised by the CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER, takes this backbone on the instance and has in order to plan exactly how it will really look on tv screen. Even though the home has the last word and participates in production gatherings, the particular episode director features the many involvement inside the development of often the tv show. This stage will be expressed as a storyboard (a visual scenario), plus the storyboard marks typically the beginning of actual animation manufacturing. https://www1.gogo-anime.ac/ to draw: Often the script is created by often the director, which means that an event is really that director's perception. But generally, especially around the television anime, separate storyboarders are used to be able to attract them. This can be because the pieces of software usually take around 3 2 or 3 weeks to make a normal duration television anime tv show. Art work meetings and creation appointments are held together with the instance director, collection director, yet others about this specific episode. The circumstances happen to be drawn on A-4 papers (in general) plus incorporate most of the vital obstructions of a anime: lower numbers, movie star activities, digital camera movements, such while zoom or even pan, normal gardening to organic (taken in the stage) together with the span of each one photography (or cut). ) throughout terms of seconds and even glasses (which we will explain later). Because this number of drawings readily available for an episode is frequently determined for the sake regarding budget management, the particular number of frames can be also carefully considered from the storyboard. The cases are usually more or less drawn and are seriously the key to deciding how an cartoons will play. The clippings send to the single picture through the camera, in addition to a good average television cartoons event will generally consist of all around 300 discounts. More cutbacks don't necessarily mean a better quality event, although will generally indicate considerably more work for the home / writer. Illustrations involving storyboards from To Aru Kagaku no Railgun. Anime stories have 5 copy. From left to best: the cut number, the style, the action, the discussion, and ultimately the runtime (in time and frames). Types are drawn nearly since they are managed by different designers in the future production step. factors: Not as much well known is the particular set up process, which grades quick imaginative production. Within simple terms, model enhancement refers to the location with the cylinders to turn out to be used in the slice and the background approach that is required, offering typically the ultimate model of what the final photos can look like. Discounts happen to be made exactly the same size while the computer animation paper and include cell phone location facts, accurate points of digital camera movement, and other options. In relationship with often the director and maybe the manufacturers, the lead animators draw models (or occasionally employees are credited especially with design drawings), and the photos are named where typically the figures / characters will certainly be positioned and the way a cut will stick to... to be framed. The basic structure of the qualifications art (for example, a new shrub here, a good mountain there) is drawn, plus the factors in this storyboard are indicated within the design to support express the cut. Sometimes various stages of often the script could be expressed inside a single drawing, providing it's not too complicated. The pv cells are shaded around hot colors, the backdrops can be dark in nice colors. Once approved by simply the director, these themes are copied and switched in to the record department (receiving originals) plus key animators. The art work director and assistants work towards painting the background works based on the model's rough images, whilst the rest of the production process remains at the same time. Right now the shape of every trim is decided: the roles of the characters, the setup, what they may do and how the photograph will be captured (camera angle, zoom and even panorama). Although one associated with the most expressive plus vital parts of the production continues to be: animation.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

The Kitchen

Oh guys. Ohhhhh you guys. It’s been awhile, you know? It’s been awhile since I’ve knowingly seen a film with less than, say, 30% on Rotten Tomatoes, but sometimes I can be convinced! Gimme a great cast and as long as the movie’s not trying to be a comedy I’m willing to give it the good ol’ college try because at least I can usually find something to laugh at. So I went into The Kitchen fully expecting a less-than-stellar but no doubt perfectly adequate time at the cinema. You’ve got Oscar nominee Melissa McCarthy, prestige TV darling Elizabeth Moss, and breakout charisma machine Tiffany Haddish as three women taking charge of their husbands’ mob empire in 70s Hell’s Kitchen? What could go wrong??? Well...

Imagine watching a montage of every 70s era mob movie you can think of. Got it? Got it firmly in your head? You have now had the experience of watching this movie. It’s like it’s 1993 again and you’re fighting with your sister over the remote and one of you hits the fast forward button while the smell of Bagel Bites drifts through the rec room and as you’re struggling to get the remote back, the movie is unspooling in front of you, incoherent images and sudden jerky movements, and your mom yells at you to stop fighting or she was gonna take the movie back to Blockbuster and NO ONE was gonna get to watch it. It’s like that, but unfortunately someone DID watch the movie, and that someone was me. 

Some thoughts:

So first of all, I’d like to say that I enjoy Tiffany Haddish as a person. She seems like a real delight, and I think she’s working her ass off to get hers in Hollywood, which is fantastic and I wish her all the success in the comedy world. That being said. There’s uh...there’s a lot of eyebrow acting going on here. Just. So many eyebrows doing so many things. And a lot of nodding. People don’t nod this much in real life. She’s acting in scenes across from Oscar nominee Melissa McCarthy and usually that would tend to elevate a performance but for some reason, it’s all nods and eyebrows and I just think maybe gritty dramatic acting is not going to be her next successful career move. 

It’s not just her though. All the bit parts and character actors they hired to fill out the Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood feel like they’re rejects from the first 10 minutes of a Law & Order episode. At one point, an old married woman says “Ain’t that right, Sal?” to her husband and he shushes her by swatting the air in front of him and grumbling “AAAAH.” THIS HAPPENS TWICE IN THE SCENE. I’ve seen termites that chew through scenery less. 

The overacting? Forgivable. The weak script? I could handle it. But the pacing of this movie is so relentlessly awful that it almost feels like performance art. There are - I counted - 3 scenes that last longer than approximately 90 seconds. Just imagine it. You’re watching a movie. You like the actors. The story’s ok. But something seems off. You don’t know what. The costumes are good. The performances are ok. The music is great. But something is wrong. It’s definitely wrong. Do you feel it? Is it bothering you? Have you had enough yet? Are you yearning for a descriptive sentence, an appositive phrase, anything with even one fucking comma in it to indicate a complex thought? Congratulations, now you know what it’s like to watch a 102-minute film that feels like it took 3 hours. 

Let it never be said that I can’t find the silver lining amongst this pile of dreck! Domnhall Gleeson is a goddamn delight as a slightly unhinged, sleepy eyed mob assassin who came back to Brooklyn cause he heard Elizabeth Moss’s husband was in jail. In between making googly eyes at her, there is what is by far the funniest, weirdest scene in the movie in which he methodically explains how to dismember the dead body of an attempted rapist currently residing in Elizabeth Moss’s bathtub. This scene may be my favorite black comedy short film of the year. 

Related: it’s fucked up but Gleeson is upsettingly attractive in this movie. These feelings are made even more complicated, because when he first shows up, I thought he was Elizabeth Moss’s estranged brother. But then they started making out and for a second I was having some VERY confusing feelings.

One thing the movie has in its favor - the soundtrack, while obvious, is banging. It’s 1978, if you don’t have a killer soundtrack it’s like you’re not even making an effort.

There are a few other shining spots. Melissa McCarthy does a fine job with the material she’s given. Elizabeth Moss at least seems to be having fun. It’s really not the actors’ fault that first-time director Andrea Berloff simply had no idea what to do with them. 

On a related tangent, I would just like to point out that a criticism that is always levied towards works of art created by women and POC and queer folks and any other minority is that people only think it’s good just because the person belongs to that particular group. Well, I’m going to point to this film every single time someone tries to pull that bullshit ever again - I’m sure Andrea Berloff was trying her best, and there may have been unseen drama going on with the studio or during the production that led to this frenetic pile of polyester, but the end result is not at all better just because she’s a woman. I wanted to like this, I really did, but a poorly made film is a poorly made film no matter who’s behind the camera.

Case in point - my favorite scenes in the movie have nothing to do with the main characters, but instead focus on a group of rival mobsters in Brooklyn, led by an oily and perfect Bill Camp. His tete a tete with our main ladies is one of the three scenes allowed to be long enough to be, you know, interesting. Plus, he has an entourage of other Brooklyn mobsters with him, including the Jersey Shore-lite guy that Ann Perkins makes out with during the Harvest Festival in Parks and Rec, who has my favorite line in the whole movie. When he’s explaining to Melissa McCarthy that there’s a hit out on her and the gals, he explains how he knew - “I was in a bar......lookin at some titties...when he asked me.” “Asked you what?” “To kill you.” It’s his wide-eyed good cheer and sheepishly boyish grin that really sells it. I’ve been laughing about it for days. 

Margo Martindale might be one of this generation’s finest character actresses, but she can’t do a New York Irish mob accent for shit.

Did I Cry? Oh god no. I should have - there’s major character death all OVER the place. But nah. I was still laughing about the titties. 

I hate that I know how good this could have been. These women deserved better, and there are tiny seeds of interesting ideas going on, but ultimately everything falls flat. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[sunnysynthsunshine]

A “Ted Talk”/Analyisis of what it means to be a “Peoples Poet” and why Rik Mayall means so much to me.

It’s like Alice in Wonderland constantly travelling through worlds.

When I enter “the realms” the galaxies I can see in my dreams and music hallucinations.

My childhood is like a cloud sometimes I like a colourful rainbow of positive nostalgic memories, rainy cringe-worthy memories and then there are the thunderstorms that are the memories I don’t want to think about.

I’ve always been fascinated by what I’d see in Films, TV Shows, Musicals, Songs, Video Games and books but not many really connected with me.

I am a complicated person,I can go from being cheerful, relaxed and happy to being dazed and clumsy or cynical or entranced and hyper-fixated to Pessimistic and Cold to Quiet and Timid to Mellow and Loud,my personality is all over the place with fiction I could only partly relate to certain characters or worlds either because we liked a few of the same foods or films or because we simply looked alike, I’ve had my role models,idols and inspirations sure but I didn’t really realise their full importance in my life until recently and while I loved writing about fiction and imagining myself in fiction I would be the person with the quill, not the damsel or leading man.

I’ve always been interested in Media and Theatre but the latter I couldn’t pursue as far as I wanted to,

I’ve had goals and ambitions but they always kept changing in a way some of them are the same they just ended up being expressed in ways I didn’t expect,

Ever since I studied English I’ve been in love with poetry and literature

When I saw him….his voice was familiar it was a sort of high pitched English sounding male voice..sometimes sounding low toned and posh other times not.

As a kid who watched lots of cartoons, films, adverts and public information films I was exposed to lots of familiar sounding voices in characters on silver, big and animated screens

I recall a cartoon I’d sometimes watch about a knight always trying to win over Queen Guinevere, the cartoon was like Shrek because it satirised fairy tale tropes but in the medieval world of King Arthur.

In Between that would be adverts for cleaning products, one with a golden labrador puppy playing with some toilet roll, an animated duck and villains in the Domestos world that would put the villains of Flushed Away to shame.

He was a voice,I didn’t know his name then even though his name was in the credits of the cartoon mentioned prior but there were so many names in my head at the time (Ant and Dec, Spice Girls, Horrid Henry, Shrek, Toy Story etc.) that his name got lost in translation.

Then years later I got interested in film critique and learned about a film,a film that was considered very bad by the American box office about a peter pan esque imaginary friend...it was then that I heard his voice again but I didn’t know at the time that they were the same.

Since I couldn’t form my own opinions much I went by what the critic said and avoided that film afterwards.

I wouldn’t hear his voice again until 6 years later….

By that time I was about to start college, after leaving secondary school, I was in a bit of a dark place,I had been in some drama,and often when I’d see movies I’d remember the panic attacks rather than the movies themselves due to the experience being ruined by idiots making noise and causing all sorts of nonsense.

I could still laugh at times but usually only in a self-deprecating way, I barely left the sofa and just felt like I was drowning in a void of nothingness.

One night changed that, I was about to start college in a few days, I was in the living room with my mother switching channels when on BBC2 there was a special programme on.

Some bloke named Ben Elton was on a podium talking like a university lecturer about the intellectual aspects of the sitcom format of entertainment, while also paying homage to the late great Ronnie Barker a second generation British comedian I adored the work of when I would watch Open All Hours and Porridge.

When near the end of the lecture, Ben mentioned a show, a show I had never heard of before from the 1980s, called The Young Ones and then proceeded to show clips of it, I kept seeing this pigtailed character in a fringe and this orange-haired punk argue and fight only for one of them to give a detailed tantrum about some show called “The Good Life” and the other to fall down the stairs knocking over the bannisters and ranting about some actress named “Felicity Kendall”.

After quickly researching I became intrigued by this show, I had seen the character’s faces before in two places,one was on Amazon while looking for comedy DVD's and on a dodgy “meme” site called Encyclopedia Dramatica which referenced the scene where the orange haired punk loses his head after sticking  it out a train window.

I then looked up the first few episodes and I was hooked, but it wasn’t like other sitcoms where I’d simply laugh at the stupidity of the gags and characters although that was one aspect of it.

The characters felt relatable while it was in the same nihilistic way I saw myself and some of humanity, that’s how I perceived it, at first I didn’t like tantrum throwing Rick I thought he was too whiny at times and I was drawn to Vyvyan and Neil first,Vyvyan because he felt like the side of me that I rarely showed, the side of me that had a dark sense of humour,  had a sort of free-spirited attitude and liked mild,playful slapstick type of violence, I did have a softie side too but I rarely showed my “Vyvyan” side, now though I couldn’t be prouder to show my “ Vyvyan” side I used to dislike it when I’d walk along my school playground only to see random fights breaking out that would block my walkway but on the inside when I’d watch Japanese cartoons I’d laugh at some fight scenes and I realised there was a side of me that did sort of like violence when it would be in a playful context.

After rewatching and rewatching and thinking back….I grew to like the “Rick” character a bit more, I related to his at times timid social awkwardness, his hypocritical attitude and the questioning of his sexuality.

I had then realised….he acted a bit like I how I did back in secondary school,always being overdramatic if I wasn’t quietly timidly working or being cynical, going on about socialism and the importance of it despite hanging out with problematic internet bloggers at the time who was the complete opposite,I would be lowkey interested in poetry and literature and the fact that at the time he hated Thatcher while I despised Theresa May, who was just starting to use her power to control the UK,I vaguely knew who Margaret Thatcher was because I was in a production of Blood Brothers and before we performed the play we had to research the background history of the play’s setting that’s when I found out about the miner strikes and how the way Thatcher was acting was similar to how Teresa was today.

I also kinda had my own gang in my final years of secondary school but we didn’t go anywhere, some of them stayed in touch others just moved on with their lives.

We would play card games, I’d rant about politics and “Tumblr Aesthetics” and sometimes one of my pals would play metal and pop-punk music in the background, we were the cool kids.

I realised I related to both the “Rick” character and the “Vyvyan” character, after months of not writing stories based on the media I liked,I started writing (again) short stories about “The Young Ones” my ideas for episodes if more than 12 episodes were made,how I would interact with the characters if I lived with them or in the stories case the “alternate universe” version of me.

I’d draw them, I’d write about them, I’d think about them when I’d listen to music, but that wasn’t all.

I had started my Performing Arts course and was learning what skills you’d need to be in “Theatre”.

At the same time I was watching a bunch of the other shows the actor who played “Rick” had been in,sometimes I’d realise I had a lot in common with not just “Rick” from The Young Ones but “Richie” from Bottom,”Richie Rich” from Filthy,Rich and Catflap,”Lord Flashheart” from Blackadder and even the horrific  “Alan B’stard” even though I disagreed with tories despite still hanging out with bad internet “skeptic” people and being raised conservative.

For someone who used to be a massive “weeaboo”, I was becoming quite the Britcom enthusiast

Yeah at times I would mimic his and Ade’s character voices,facial expressions and actions but other times I didn’t need to copy him because we already acted similarly and even if we didn’t I’d realise later in life I did have those other traits It just took a long while before I could proudly express them.

In Between Drama class, I had met some new people and if I was having a day where I felt low, I could just put on a show he was in and cheer up.

That was when I realised his voices and the voice from the bad movie about the imaginary friend and the voice from the cartoon and adverts from my childhood were of the same person.

The person I had finally figured out the name of after all those years.

I had fallen in love, the same love I would’ve had for musicians and fictional Japanese cartoon boys I had for him

His charisma, his looks, his characters, his wise words, his personality, his iconic moments, his variety of facial expressions, his creativity, his eclectic work from Sitcoms to Dramas to Theatre to Video Games to Music.

I couldn’t stop thinking about him...at first, I thought it was going to be like all the other “role models” I had….that changed in 2018.

2018 certainly was a year...I went through my first work experience in a local theatre production,I had met more new people some of which I had met because of our love of him and his work,I took up a new course and even when I did my old drama course,I got to write my own monologue for our final play and I had gotten back into the activity I used to only do when I was an “emo”.

“Poetry!”, the art of putting together multiple rhyming sentences that are all relevant to a certain emotion, feeling or topic.

I was always into literature and English but I was more the type to write stories and read poetry not read stories and write poetry.

After having some big life realisations I decided to pour all of that into a big poem in February,some of my friends read it and loved it,this convinced me that not only were these amazing friends that I will love and cherish to this day but that poetry was something that with a bit of work I could be quite good at….

So I wrote and wrote and wrote I got better with each one, my dreams when listening to music got more vivid than before, so vivid they were almost real like I was visiting another universe.

like an out of body extraterrestrial/paranormal experience.

I had finally moved on from my drama of the past, Self Reflected on my actions learning how to change for the better and I took that punk “free-spirit” of mine and learned how to fully express and how to be more accepting of myself and others.

I got into new and old music, tv shows, films and books...but he was still there

As I went through each show or film of his that I hadn’t watched yet, the love just kept blossoming whether I was laughing my arse off or grinning at a relatable moment from one of his interviews.

It was soon Christmas, a few weeks before, my lucid dreams had a new feature,my Wiccan powers of communication with spirits had gotten powerful enough to the point that when I’d listen to some music I’d hear voice waves in between, voice waves of people I looked up to who unfortunately are not physically with us, I recall it was My Generation by The Who that triggered it,that was a song he performed once on the Young Ones live events,I had interacted with the dead in dreams before,but this was different when I had heard his voice in the dreams where I thought of his characters or of himself, the voice would be vague and barely audible, but this time the voice was more clear and natural almost like he was actually talking to me.

Then Christmas happened, it was a mixed day but I got good gifts and I stood up for my political beliefs for the first time.

Some of the gifts were related to him like his book, box sets of some of his work and…...a red hat

A red hat just like the one his young one's character had on.

A took a few photos and loved the way it looked on me with the blazer I had on, a black blazer similar to the blazer he had on the first few episodes of The Young Ones.

In the middle of the night, I got an idea for a poem, I had written a poem about his show before but this poem was different.

It was a tribute a poem dedicated specifically to him, yes it would reference his characters, but the poem was mainly about him, the impact he made the world and how I felt this amazing ethereal, psychological and philosophical connection to him.

The Lord of Misrule, one of the best poems I’ve ever written, the days after I uploaded photos of me in the hat, and almost everyone I knew loved it,even the friends of mine who didn’t know the young ones but knew the name and look because of me loved the hat and pictures of me in the hat.

It was a sign, my lucid dreams got more vivid than ever and his face became more visible. sometimes when I’d dream about him it wouldn’t be the usual dream of me being in the young ones or me filming a comic strip presents episode or me going to a Ziggy Stardust concert with his teenage self,it would be dreams where I’d be travelling through the galaxies only to end in his place,it looked like something out of the grand Budapest hotel with how well it looked with the pastel-toned colours and minimalist decor and there he would be,he wouldn’t always be in a Jesus esque robe like before,he would be chilling on his sofa, looking exactly like how he looked before in the early 2010s, wearing a plain sweater or dressing gown his long grey hair flowing like an angel, waving and sometimes talking with me,it felt more clear than before it was probably a response from all those times before when I was learning how to spiritually communicate where I was usually the one doing most of the talking,

Usually I’d see him as an idol, icon, deity, legend, role model of sorts but now I started seeing him as a mentor and grandpa sort of figure,his mantras stick with me to this day, we have enough in common to be good pals from other dimensions but such a difference in age and living status that he can be a grandpa figure to me,the angel cheering me on before and after an exam,allowing my spirit third eye self to stay over at his place when I’m feeling low and lost, tickling me, offering advice and I love being able to have these abilities, I’ve always loved astrology and anything to do with ufos, magic or “other worlds”.

He is my guide and I am his apprentice, in my poems and philosophy, I say most of us are peoples poets because of our strong free-spirit opinions and attitudes even if we don’t all have a quill to write those opinions with.

But in the context of his young one's character and the traits of his(him and the character) that I already shared and the traits I overtime learned to accept. 

From the poetry to the similar personality and interests to the spiritual connection,

 to the times my friends and comrades had said that “he would be proud, that I even looked like him and I carried his “energy”, one of them referring to me as a “People's Poet”.

I’ve now realised after all these years that I’ve finally found my meaning, to bring Art, peace and love into the world.

When his character gave that speech about his revolutionary life and how the new generation would gather round for their fallen leader only for  a  sensitive and articulate teenager to say “How can he be dead if we have his poems?” (or shows in this context)

I was a sensitive and articulate teenager as we are all.

I am also the next People's Poet

Step aside,  let’s share the rikosophy by carrying on his legacy into the 21st century 🌈🖇🏴⭐🌠

I shall produce art for the world to see, teach them how to see it in new perspectives, and I shall guide us while we try to stop fascism for good,

let’s be free!

you and me!

Thank You, Doctor.Richard Rik, Michael Mayall  you’ve changed my life  

It is an honour to carry on from where you left off, bringing joy back into the world, inspired by your art while creating my own experimental ideas, I know your listening from the heavenly afterlife clouds and all those galaxies beyond.

Now let’s share that wonderful energy in the ruddy 21st century.

While I’m not the man himself Rik Mayall, I just share his energy and personality 

I am Kelsey….and I am bloody brilliant    

[fibula-rasa]

September 2018 in Review

You should all be proud of me this month, as I actually watched MORE than one movie made in this decade. There was little rhyme or reason to the films I watched this month. I was pretty scattered honestly and my viewing habits show it. I keep a full diary on letterboxd and IMDB.

A major highlight of September was TCM’s month-long series hosted by the African American Film Critics Association (AAFCA) The Black Experience on Film. I only caught a few of the films but went out of my way to watch the introductory conversations. TCM’s Trailblazing Women series with Illeana Douglas was a favorite feature of mine and I’d love to see even more hosted series for marginalized groups in film history. It might be too much to suggest Disability on Film… But I’ve been considering doing a blogging series on that myself!

The reviews below the jump are essentially transcriptions of the notes I took right after watching the films. They’re presented in the order in which I watched them.

Brigsby Bear (2017)

23 January 2017 | 97 min. | Color

When Brigsby Bear came out there were a number of people, in real life and online, who gushed about it non-stop. I was pretty wary to see it. In the past, often when people around my age pick out a new darling film or TV series, I’ve been burned. Sometimes it’s something cynically violent in a way that’s disturbing to overlook. Sometimes it’s something with too much ironic detachment for my taste. Or it’s something straight-up ableist, sexist, or bigoted. (How are we still traumatizing all “Strong Female Characters” in the 2010s. Come on.)

BUT, Brigsby Bear was really good!? I honestly wasn’t expecting such a heartfelt and humanist film. A modern comedy movie that has faith in the good of all people? Amazing. I hope that the success of this film can be the beginning of a new chapter of millennial comedy so we can wholly move on from calling cynical intellectualized bigotry humor.

I got emotional as the friendship between Spencer and James developed. Maybe because I’m a clinically strange person myself. I don’t always have the energy in social situations to keep my neurotypical mask on and when I show my actually autistic self to people it doesn’t usually go all that well. That’s why it’s a special, joyful moment to find acceptance. Brigsby captures this so well. That feeling where people suddenly like you for your weirdness, rather than getting aggressive over it, is like a psychological hug. Kyle Mooney’s portrayal of James in those moments of acceptance is very true to life.

It’s refreshing to have the tension of a comedy film built around a feeling that misunderstandings might make everything fall to pieces. And then the tension releases because everyone is trying so hard to be their best self and things get sorted. I’m used to this dynamic in quite a few old romantic comedy films, but it’s a strategy not employed all that often today. If this is where millennial art is headed I’m ready to take out the trash marketed to us in the last decade.

At first I was worried that this was going to be another early 1980s throwback nostalgia piece without the spirit of media it was referencing (yes, I’m already fatigued by this). That thought was dispelled quickly.

The casting is great. The use of Mark Hamill is particularly ingenious.

Where to watch: it’s currently on demand through Starz.

Perfect Blue (1997)

28 February 1998 | 81min. | Color

Perfect Blue is a must-see for giallo fans, I think. It was very cool to see a Japanese filmmaker create a giallo-inspired psycho-detective thriller and specifically to see Satoshi Kon’s take given his skill in weaving tales about identity.

Perfect Blue is a harsh criticism of Idol culture (and, more broadly, fan culture).

This film requires a huge content warning for sexual violence and assault. If I hadn’t been watching Perfect Blue in a theater, I absolutely would have had to pause the film and take breaks a few times. Which is why, if you haven’t seen any other Kon films, it might be best to start elsewhere–even though Perfect Blue was his first feature. My first exposure to Kon was a few years back with Millennium Actress (2001) and then Paprika (2006). Both are great for newcomers to Kon. Paprika is usually the easy to find. Tokyo Godfathers (2003) is also worth watching, but pretty far afield from Perfect Blue.

Now I’m not suggesting that Perfect Blue isn’t good. It’s great. It’s simply that it’s such an intense and potentially triggering film that it might put some people off Kon’s other work. That may well have happened to me if this had been the first Kon film I saw rather than my last of his filmography.

As with Kon’s other films, the animation is fantastic and imaginative. I don’t want to give too much away about the story, so feel free to ask if you need more specific content warnings.

Where to watch: This one’s not so easy to get your hands on. Your local library or video store might be the best place to look. But, GKids does have some theatrical screenings upcoming.

New Orleans (1947)

18 April 1947 | 90min. | B&W

I watched this film on TCM as part of the aforementioned Black Experience on Film series with AAFCA.

As it was a month-long series in September, I probably should have mentioned it sooner, but the whole series was fantastic. The critics offered useful context for all of the films. Given that the films elicit mixed responses and have complicated roles in cultural and social history, it was very cool to see people debate and disagree on the films. It was valuable to witness even the disagreements that weren’t all that complicated and more about personal taste than politics. With New Orleans for example, one of the hosts liked the film and the other disliked it, though both held an appreciation for it. More civil disagreement about films, please and thanks.

I liked New Orleans and am disappointed that I hadn’t even heard about it before. Although, I do agree with critic/host Jamaal Finkley that it’s a disappointment that New Orleans doesn’t provide any insight into the personal trials of the Black characters.

It’s always a treat to see Arturo de Cordova, but that goes double when it’s an American film where his role isn’t informed by Latin/Mexican stereotypes. This is actually one the more refreshing aspects of the film. The Black characters lack interiority and their struggles are left out of the film, but Louis Armstrong’s and Billie Holiday’s characters are average people and don’t hew to stereotypes. It’s not exactly a victory for representation, but it’s still an improvement.

That said, the music is great and I wish there were more of it. It’s well established in the film that New Orleans’ problems largely come from badly-behaved white people, which I appreciate. (Is that too real?) Arturo de Cordova is great as the romantic lead of the film. I only wish Dorothy Patrick had the charisma to seem like a better match for him.

New Orleans is definitely worth checking out if the progress of Black representation in film is of interest to you or if you have a special interest in jazz or New Orleans.

Where to watch: It looks like Kino’s DVD release might be out of print, so libraries & video stores might be your best bet. OR, you can wait until TCM plays it again.

The Boy (2016)

22 January 2016 | 97min. | Color

Sooooo depending on how long you’ve been following the blog, you may or may not know that I love horror movies and ghost stories and whenever those things meet. When I first saw the trailers for The Boy ahead of its theatrical release, it did pique my interest. However, that’s mostly because they made me laugh. I am not someone who’s creeped out by dolls though. If you are, I suspect this film actually might be scary to you.

The Boy has a solid premise. At first it reminded me of the story “Baby Doll” by Larry LeClair from the radio show Nightfall. (”Baby Doll” is a better story, FYI, and creepier.) Unfortunately, the execution of The Boy’s story was disappointing. The film drags when it shouldn’t and the flow of the lead character warming to the doll felt stilted. The Boy’s big reveal ended up feeling a bit cheap as a consequence.

That said, I had fun watching it. I got some good laughs from Brahms’ ghostly antics and the middle part of the film is chock full of them.

The house from the film is so beautiful. I can’t believe it’s in Vancouver. Or that it’s a location for Little Women (1994)? I somehow didn’t recognize it.

Whether The Boy is worth a watch is debatable. If you like Haunted Doll stories, the execution and ending might be unsatisfying for you. Maybe if you like the odd modern horror film that can’t embrace its own camp, The Boy would be perfect for you?

Where to watch: It’s currently streaming on Netflix.

Street Scene (1931)

5 September 1931 | 80min. | B&W

This movie was a good old kick in the pants.

Street Scene an adaptation of a Pulitzer-Prize-winning stage play by Elmer Rice. It depicts the problems of New York City tenement residents and their relationships with one another. Though this is a pre-code film, I still imagine there would have been notable changes for censors. That said, the film is still very… mature. Additionally, I’ve seen suggestions that the film we know today is a re-edit of the film for post-code re-release. Hoo boy, what that source material must have been then.

One challenge a lot of filmmakers have when adapting stage plays to film is avoiding static staging–as if someone simply recorded the play. Street Scene doesn’t fear this and I think it works out. Almost all of the film takes place on the stoop of the tenement. The building facade is a truly impressive setup for filming. The camera work livens up the visuals with tracking shots and unexpected angles not commonly seen in early-sound films. (Unsurprisingly, Gregg Toland worked on the film!)

The acting is fantastic and, as someone who has spent the lion’s share of her life in cultural melting pots, the atmosphere the actors create is very authentic. Frankly, after living in Brooklyn for five years (four years ago), some neighborhoods still feel like this–only the voices are Puerto Rican and West Indian instead of European. It’s fascinating to see those veins of permanence in a city that’s changed as much as New York has.

The story primarily focuses on one family. The matriarch (Estelle Taylor) is bored with her unhappy marriage and takes up with the man who collects payment for milk delivery. The eldest child, Rose (Silvia Sydney), is pursued by seemingly every young, eligible man on the block and her not-so-young and not-so-eligible boss. The only one Rose shares feelings for is her downstairs neighbor, an unemployed student, Sam (William Collier, Jr.), who also happens to be Jewish. There is plenty of external resistance to their relationship for anti-semitic and/or financial reasons. Rose’s misgivings are a little more complicated. She feels trapped by the neighborhood and is wary to tie herself down to her current status at so young an age, regardless of how she feels about Sam. In the end, Rose’s mother’s fate cements her own. You can’t help but feel for both of them.

In case you haven’t already gathered this, the film calls for a content warning for anti-semitism and the use of anti-semitic slurs. [Note for clarification: the film is not anti-semitic, a few of the characters are.]

Street Scene takes social issues head on and is a pre-code through and through. It’s absolutely a top recommendation if you like pre-codes. It’s also worth watching if you’re into New York City history or have an interest in film adaptations of stage plays.

Where to watch: This one is pretty easy to see, but I haven’t sussed out the distribution rights or home video releases.

I also watched the film Sanatorium pod Klepsydrą / The Hourglass Sanatorium (1973). That left me with too many feelings to put in an amalgam post. Once I sort through how personal I want to get in discussing the film publicly, you can be sure it’ll get its own post up here.

Last Month’s Review

[misterradio]

literally what the heck

edit: this post is now for dumping thoughts as i read the script enjoy. putting them under the cut instead of tags cuz i'll run out of tag room

okay i am editing this the day after and im gonna just dump my thoughts as i read in these tags >

the opening is so grim and realy makes me think of ihnmaims.. o_o thw works (character) is like. AM but if he was senile

beeper... not a lot of thought given to the request.....

i saw someone compare this to wall-e and the way the humans are established to not be used to gravity made me think of that.

its interesting how the ship is like. really clunky and complicated. as opposed to a lot of futurism stuff being really sleek.

''it is a very sad thing;'' the face finished; ''when a logical machine loses its grip on reality.'' bro u r talking about urself..

this is making me look up so many words.

the way the robots are building seemingly useless structures feels very eskovian. like they want the idea of a city.

this fight scene goes on SO LONG. maybe it would just be more interesting to watch instead of read.

i just peeked ahead and robotsare playing strip poker but they are exchanging parts. incredible.

ipso cartwheeling away is so cute <3

idk how movie scripts usually are so this feels like reading a weird short novel.

oh i like how a bunch of small robots combined into a big one that's cool ::-)

OMG YES PICK HIM UP AND THROW HIM YES

oh girl i am so bad at understanding place descriptions..

this is making me look up so many words. what is subterfuge.

when characters have a speaking quirk or whatever it is called. yay i like this scrapped robot who always goes hmmm...

oh.. the robot blues... u_u

this scene is called "in the hijacked ant" PLEASE let me see the ant pleasepleaseplease YAAAAAAA

okay the robot body-part betting scene was kind of f-ked up ::-( give him his memory back ...

also it occurred to me idk how to imagine this place.... it's like all constrction zone so i just image it's sandy.

OMG T-SQUARE BACK YAY

wow what is going on with selene ..

this scene is. so bizarre

lol the way that one robot ipso revived from the junkyard has nothing to do with the works and is just like. chillin

why did they only now name this character..

o my gosh characters holding each other pwwshshhhhhh

oh the works flipping the script since he thinks humans exist to create robots even tho humans think robots exist to serve humans. inch resting ..

dam i am almost done how tf is this gonna get wrapped up 0_0

BEEPER SWEARS ?

ah so t-square IS a pilot..

aw ::-) okay so i finally finished it YEEHAW!! since this is from 1978 and the works was worked on from 1979-1986 i definitely get if this is like. an early plan for the film and they might've changed things along the way. (i don't know how scripts work and i certainly do not know how much this is different for what the final film would have been.)

overall i was mostly in it for the ride, it was sort of awkward but fun. the climax and falling action especially were clunky, and it wrapped up too fast and left some things unresolved (like, do they un-paralyze the works? does ipso get his power back?). towards the end i didn't know why selene went to t-square to say that they were in danger even though the duo on earth had it covered and were fine, other than the fact that they didn't have a way to get back home...

i also have no idea who the target audience for this is, it's pretty silly so i wouldn't be surprised if it was for kids but some things make me think it might be for like, teens. or maybe it's just for 20-year-olds like me who love getting fixated on random stuff! [jumps up into the air and clicks my heels together]

so yea i have criticisms on the plot but i am so thrilled to be able to read it at all HEHE it was really fun to read and see more about the characters and world... ::-)

i will still be digesting this for a bit i think... so i may post abt it more...

[onett199x]

Yes, video games are art, but are they artistic?

This is another essay I wrote - I don’t do this super often, but I was feeling particularly inspired on this topic tonight, so here it is.

A question I often see asked, usually by someone with an obvious bias or conflict of interest, is this: Are video games art?  These days, the prevailing attitude towards that idea seems to be that they are, although that could easily just seem to be the prevailing attitude from my perspective because most people I  know have a generally favorable attitude towards video games.  At least from where I'm sitting, it seems like a tired, silly question - I imagine a college freshman pointedly answering "VIDEO GAMES!" when his Introduction to Art teacher asks about different mediums of art, and then being slightly disappointed when that professor doesn't try to argue with him about it.  Of course, there are different definitions of what 'art' is and isn't, so I'll start by defining my own terms.  To me, personally, there is no threshold of quality in art.  In other words, anything made by anybody can be art, whether that person has a talented bone in their body or not - macaroni glued to construction paper by kindergartners is art, and Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel ceiling frescoes are art.  By my definition, then, of course video games are art - they have design and controls, they have images designed by visual artists, and they have music composed by musicians.  Any and all video games are art - it didn't just happen when presenters at E3 started trying to target the Self-Important College Freshmen demographic.  So Asteroids is art, Custer's Revenge is art, those battery-operated Game And Watch handhelds are art, and Flappy Bird, Neko Atsume, and Pokemon Go are art.  Some of those are art in the same way that Tijuana Bibles or 'Spot the Difference' games in the funny papers are art, but by my definition, they're still art.  In my mind, at least, that much is simple.

               Where this discussion gets instantly a thousand times more complicated is whether they are artistic.  This is what I think many people mean when they have conversations about whether video games are art - the implied question is not 'Is this something humans made to express themselves', but 'What is the value of this expression?' and, underneath that, 'Can we say it is as valuable as, for example, books, film, or visual art?' And THAT is a hairy, complicated question with a lot of different arguments to unpack and address.  

               I think, to take the previous thought just a little further, many people really want to discuss whether video games can teach us something about the human condition the way that literature or some movies or television can.  This is what makes it a fun debate for people, because when video games were first invented and popularized, that answer was almost universally a resounding 'No'.  At their inception, video games largely served the societal purpose of relieving children and older nerds of their pocket change - Jumpman's plight to rescue Paulina from Donkey Kong had no metaphor, allegory, or social/political commentary.  Everything about its premise, down to Jumpan's mustache and large nose, was the direct result of working within the limitations of primitive hardware.  As video games moved into the home market, they were still primarily targeted towards children (and nerds), with mostly bright, colorful mascots and cartoony aesthetics.  So while they still met my (admittedly generous) standards for the definition of 'art' listed above, they did not pretend to probe the depths of the human soul.  I imagine that changed sometime in the decade that saw the advent of text-heavy role playing games and the transition from two dimensions to three within the game space. In Search Of Lost Time these games were not, however - the closest analogue I could provide would be a Saturday morning cartoon show with action figure marketing tie-ins.  It's only been in the last ten years or so that it seems like some people have really started to push that particular envelope, and, in my eyes, a lot of these efforts are pretentious or heavy-handed.  I'm sure somewhere, someone has written a Thinkpiece on how those games with ~serious moral choices~ (see: Bioshock's decidedly unsubtle 'Will you rescue this innocent child or harvest their organs?') are advancing the artistic merit of the medium, and I hate that thinkpiece.  Attempts to be more subtle with these ideas have certainly surfaced since the whole 'Would you kindly...?' thing, and some of those have, admittedly, presented much more interesting questions for debate.  Much of these more interesting ideas in the 'commentary on the human condition' wheelhouse of video game design comes from indie developers who are setting out specifically to make us ask those questions. Just to name a few, Papers, Please puts us in the role of a government official in a bureaucratic dystopia and encodes its morality-based commentary in the actual gameplay;  Undertale takes Bioshock's simple 'this or that' morality and flips it 180 degrees to be about how we consume video games.  In fact, many of these games ask us what we can learn about ourselves based on the choices we make when we play video games, which makes for fun conversations but, in my mind, they lose a lot of their academic merit as soon as you try to apply those lessons to just about any other scenario.  As much as I loved and bought into Undertale's unique take on video game morality, it has almost no real-world application.  Outside of these examples, the bigger, more mainstream games have certainly become more cinematic, or, to perhaps narrow it down a bit, more like blockbuster films.  Naughty Dog's Uncharted series has all of the genre hallmarks, snarky witticisms, and epic symphonic soundtracks of Marvel's Cinematic Universe, while their critically-acclaimed The Last Of Us puts us in approximately the same head space as AMC's The Walking Dead television adaptation.  It's work that engages us mentally, in other words - we don't simply sit and absorb it, because it isn't so much statements as questions.  Something that engages us, though, isn’t necessarily high art just for that fact.  The works that are the most discussed and revered among narrative-driven mediums frequently have stories that affect many people on a deep, personal level, perhaps even altering their world view.  To contextualize it, I’d put the artistic merit of most video game storylines/premises/scenarios somewhere in the middle of the scale that ranges from Antonio Banderas's performance as the Nasonex bee to Brian Cranston's performance as Walter White on the scale of 'what does this teach me about myself' - they're fun to think about and talk about, but I'm not expecting many academic texts on the intricate socio-political subtexts of Mass Effect 2.  

                That's my admittedly complicated answer to the question of whether video game storylines/scenarios can pose powerful existential questions - you might unsatisfyingly condense it down to 'sometimes, I guess'.  I think even the most artistic video games have a hard time truly transcending the threshold of 'high art' because, at some point in almost any game with a serious message to it, that message is encoded in the game's very gameplay, even if it's not as obvious as 'X to save, Y to harvest'.  It is a message that you cannot complete the game without at least hearing, even if you aren't thinking about it as hard as perhaps those game developers wanted you to.

               This is my caveat to all of this, though - I don't think all art has to ask us deep, probing questions about humanity, society, politics, or history.  Even high art does not need to ask us that.  When people frame the debate of The Artistic Merit of Video Games, they often use literature, film, or television as a reference point, all of which are art forms that almost universally present a narrative, the presentation of which provides a message of some kind.  It seems, on a surface level, that these mediums are the most relevant comparisons to video games, because a very sizeable chunk of video games also present a narrative, and maybe even a message.  To imply that something must have a narrative to it in order to qualify as art, though, is to discount work like J. S. Bach's keyboard music or the paintings of Piet Mondrian from a discussion of what is and isn't art.  Obviously, then, that definition is not a functioning definition of art.  Even film and books are not solely artistic because of their narrative or because of their underlying message.  Many of cinemas great auteurs are considered great not solely because of the stories they told, but because of their innovation with finding new ways to tell those stories through the use of cameras, lenses, lights, sets, props, and actors.  Alfred Hitchcock told compelling thriller stories, but he also once presented an entire movie in what appeared to be a single unbroken shot.  William Faulkner presented the history of a troubled Louisiana family by telling it through the eyes of a mentally-handicapped character with no concept of the passage of time.  These are not just compelling stories, but compelling stories that could not have been told to us any other way.  In the 'uniqueness of presentation' discussion, video games certainly have a strong horse.  I am surely not the first, second, or hundredth person to point out that video games are special because we must actively participate in them.  More so than a stage drama with audience participation or a music performance where the crowd claps and sings along, video games cannot and will not engage us without our input.  They even prevent us from experiencing them if we aren't skilled enough, a subject that has come more into debate in recent years with the rise in popularity of extremely challenging games like Dark Souls.  In that (admittedly somewhat extreme) circumstance, we must learn the language, dynamics, and flow of the game in order to experience it.  Any person can listen to Liszt or Chopin and enjoy themselves without understanding the complex music theory that went into the composition of their music, and anyone can watch Mulholland Drive without grasping its experiments with narrative structure, but to play a video game requires a base level of comprehension.  Where the bar of that comprehension is set and the ways the video game works to impress that comprehension upon us is an artistic choice on the part of its creator.  I've heard it said that people learn best by teaching themselves, and that great teachers excel because they identify well the methods their students learn by, and are better equipped by that to provide the students with the tools they need to teach themselves.  Video games are a potent example of this principle - there are some excellent YouTube videos of people breaking down the ways in which video games allow us to teach ourselves how to interact with them.  It's through careful attention to this instruction that even punishingly difficult games like Dark Souls can be enjoyed by a large community of fans - I would contrast it with games whose difficulty is based purely in muscle memory or in trial and error.  

               To delve into this a little further, a commonly discussed element of game design that is hard to put exactly into words is called the feel.  My best definition I can give is how well the game gives the player the impression that they are in direct control of their avatar on the screen - a game with good feel can be as effortless to play as it is to move one's own body, and a game with bad feel can completely ruin the immersion, like bad acting or an out-of-tune musician.  To me, game feel is another of the more important facets by which a game's artistic value can be judged.  Video games are, like I said, unique for their symbiotic relationship with their audience/consumer, and the games that do the best job of immersing their audience do it by feeling the most natural.  I think perhaps the ur-example of this connection is with that omnipresent man, Super Mario (who I mentioned above in his previous identity as Jumpman).  As his original moniker implies, Mario is a guy who jumps, and he jumps in many different ways (exponentially more since his transition to 3D).  This concept is so simple it can be reduced to two words. It works so powerfully and connects to so many people, though, for two reasons: first, that it feels very natural and responsive to do, and second, that it can be done however the individual consumer wants to do it.  Mario can jump everywhere all the time, or only as often as he needs to.  He can do a regular jump, or a long jump, or a backflip, or kick off of walls.  Game Maker's Toolkit's Mark Brown describes this as 'player expression' - I don't know whether he came up with that term or if it was someone else, but it perfectly illustrates that element of video gaming.  The ability to bring such a versatile array of experiences from so simple an action demonstrates the technique of video game design that is there just as surely as there is film technique, writing technique, or music technique.  Regardless of the message of what is on the screen, we can tell a well-shot film from a poorly-shot one, even if we don't necessarily know the terminology to explain to someone else what the difference is between the two.  We can also instantly tell the difference between trying to control Mario and trying to control Superman in Superman 64.  While it might seem strange out of context to say that, in this sense, Mario games are an example of an exceedingly technical, artistic accomplishment in video games, that is absolutely a point I will stand by, much the same as Dark Souls or Half-Life 2.  

               There are other common points of comparison between video games and other mediums in the debate about artistic merit, but I think what my general argument is boils down simply to the fact that video games can do the most for us artistically when they do for us what nothing else can. I think using interactivity in an artistic medium to push the boundaries of narrative is one powerful way that artists can do that, but the very most basic idea of what a video game is - a world you can interact with - presents the widest possibility for artistic expression, narrative be damned.  Almost all of the truest artists in video games - whether they are Shigeru Miyamoto creating games that any preschooler or retiree can pick up and play, or whether they're Hideo Kojima crafting an experience that demands a comprehensive understanding of a detailed game world - exceed at what they do not because they ask themselves how they can tell a great story.   They exceed at it because they ask themselves what can be done in a video game, and the artistic merit of the medium grows and expands best with the exploration of new ideas.  Like blockbuster film franchises and copycat musicians, there's certainly money to be made and entertainment to be had from presenting another angle on something familiar and comfortable, and like those mediums, innovation isn't always world-changing or popular.  Any form of art succeeds by connecting in some way with its audience, and it's so exciting to think about the ways we still haven't yet discovered to connect with art - when a good book or film truly engages us, it's nothing short of a revelation, and to me, the surest sign of artistic merit in video games is that I can feel that revelation from them, too.

[thisrocksandwhy]

Why should I be a critic?

This is a question I ask myself a lot. Many people who pursue the entertainment industry or any creative field are challenged why they aren’t going into something more secure or lucrative or practical. I ask myself often, “Was it really worth THAT much money to go to a school entirely devoted to watching and reading fictitious stories just so I could get a piece of paper imbued with a similar fabrication of importance?”

And yet, somehow, I always find myself enticed back to the idea of being a media critic. Although I don’t engage in the act frequently (and that’s a whole other can of worms I’ll get into another day), I do enjoy expressing ideas about art and figuring out what makes a piece work or not. And I can’t help but shake the thought that there is something worth doing here, something that makes all this time and effort meaningful.

So, why should I be a critic?

Well, first we have to figure out why art matters. Why is art, as a whole, something worth studying, analyzing, and understanding?

After years of having only read half of Scott McCloud’s graphic novel Understanding Comics, I recently finished the last chapters of the book. And, funnily enough, the last few pages summed up the answer to this question for me so perfectly that I was inspired to write this.

Scott McCloud says – specifically about comics but first about all art – that media is by definition a means of communicating between people.

First off, I’ll state a basic premise the rest of this piece will assume. Empathy, understanding and relating to another person’s experience, is good. It is a moral truth and a principle worth upholding. Also, empathy is not inherent to the human experience. A person can only truly know themself. So to empathize with someone else takes conscious effort.

To do so, people need some means of transmitting ideas to each other. These means we call mediums (or media, if we decline the Latin noun). As McCloud explains, a medium acts as the middle ground between two people, an author and an audience, in sending a message.

This idea is also explained elegantly in this video essay by Innuendo Studios that I recommended last week. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. It’s really good.

There are many modes of communication, spoken language being the most common. But artistic media have become just as meaningful as language, and they use unique tools that we don’t completely understand. Therefore, McCloud argues, there is a merit to understanding art. By studying how art works, artists can more effectively communicate their ideas, and audiences can more effectively interpret the messages in works. We can express more complex ideas by harnessing the full potential of a medium. And we can demand a higher standard from our art since we understand that it directly relates to our capability to improve ourselves as empathic creatures.

Logically, this produces the purpose of the media critic, and I think it explains what appeals to me in this vocation. A critic studies the tools and application of media and how creators can most effectively communicate ideas. They determine when a product successfully conveys an idea and how an author has created their product to do so. Critics also hold the unique responsibility of arguing whether a product’s message is worth sharing, because, as in spoken language, some ideas are more worth saying than others.

Now I’m getting into some ethics talk here. Not everyone agrees that there are such things as absolute rights and wrongs. But if we play along with one assumption, that mutual empathy is a goal worth striving for, we can infer that some messages aim to further that goal while others can purposefully or unintentionally cause divides in people. A film like W.D. Griffith’s Birth of a Nation fully utilized its visual language to communicate its argument, but a modern audience will agree that its racist agenda is not worth pushing. Likewise, art has the potential to present any idea it likes, but some ideas shouldn’t be propagated in the first place.

That is not to say that all art is consciously political. Some art even intends to omit any sense of importance or political standing from their work – who would ever say that an Adam Sandler comedy is intentionally meaningful? But even by omitting controversial or challenging themes, that piece of art now promotes a different value system, perhaps one of whimsy or ambivalence or ignorance. The act of creating art cannot be divorced from delivering a message to an audience.

Art can convey these messages in very straightforward, easily understood terms, or it can mask them in innuendo and codified script. It is the critic’s role to, first, recognize and fully understand these modes of communication and, then, to lead the discussion around media by sharing their interpretation and using their moral alignment to judge that art’s quality.

At least, this should be the critic’s job, right? Then why does this so often not occur?

Art and art criticism are both more often concerned with financial success, mass appeal, or simple escapism rather than some complicated concept of ethical communication. Artists tend to stick to comfortable stories and easily understood methods rather than pushing the boundaries of their medium in an attempt to be marketable and get in front of the greatest number of eyes. And because critics exist in the same ecosystem of the art industry, they too must fold to the demands of a paycheck and laud Hollywood cashgrabs over content that actually aims for quality.

Are blockbuster films, arguably the most widely consumed art, “improving human empathy?” Is art that is not inspired by idealism not worth producing?  Must all art be held to this standard? Does the average person have to weigh the moral value of a story to be able to enjoy it? Can’t a person just read a book because it passes the time?

Plus, why do I need to be a critic? What does my perspective have anything to do with promoting empathy? Is this more about selfish fulfillment, believing my thoughts hold importance beyond simple opinion? Or am I just lusting for the glamour of show biz?

So, is this theory even true? There are other theories that argue why art is important, and not all attempt to hold the difficult high ground of moral righteousness like I am here. How else can art be valuable? When it comes to art theory, I’m familiar with two primary arguments that disregard the conversation between artist and individual (at least, to my understanding). Aestheticism values the intensely individual experience art can provide for a consumer. Good art, then, is something that strongly elicits a feeling in its consumer but does not consider an intended message from a creator. And formalism tends to ignore the audience, focusing instead on the artist and their pursuit of creating art purely for the sake of art. 

Then art means something different to the public. When you ask the average person, art is just meant to be fun. It’s a distraction, purposefully meaningless so that it contrasts with the reality’s struggles. In healthy moderation, who can argue that this escapism is wrong? Isn’t this pleasure valuable enough?

I just know that I believe in my argument the most. Some of the thinkers I respect most have taught me these ideas before, in different terms and usually not as haughtily as I have attempted here. John Green has said (several times) that “writing is always an attempt at radical empathy.” To enter the mind of another person, fictional or not, is both exciting to experience and integral in developing skills to relate to another person’s experience.

So, rather than push this argument as universal, I’ll simply say it works for me. I like stories for a lot of reasons. They are a nice distraction, especially when I’m feeling anxious about what job I should pursue or where my life should be heading. They let me enter other lives and worlds and experience the imagination of incredibly talented people. And they let me use my imagination and engage with ideas and values broader than my life’s experiences. In this way, art criticism is itself a form of expression that can start conversations and get people to relate with each other.

But, more selfishly, I want to write about things I like because it actually makes me like art more. When I can express why I like something, I can decide more clearly why I like some things more than others. And I get to revisit cool moments I’ve had with movies or games or whatever and experience the feelings that were inspired in that moment. Finally, having a value system behind what art is good like I’ve attempted here also helps me figure out what I like.

Why should I be a critic? Because some art is good and important, and I want to share how I think that art achieves that value. I think I’ve known this answer ever since I named this blog, and that’s really the phrase I want to circle back to in anything I write – “This rocks, and why.”

[uomo-accattivante]

Much is made in Hollywood of chameleons – actors who have the ability to “disappear” into a role, appearing “unrecognisable” – while less is said about versatility. At rest, the faces of the best movie actors contain multitudes. Robert Mitchum had the broken-nosed face of a brute but the sleepy, languid eyes of an angel – “Bing Crosby on barbiturates”, in film critic James Agee’s phrase. Bette Davis could switch from glam to dowdy with the angle of her head and a couple of fill lights. And Robert De Niro’s ability to frown and smile simultaneously is legendary. Oscar Isaac has that kind of face. His low-lidded eyes can smoulder, but there is also a quickness behind them, and a touch of disappointed calculation. It made him perfect for the hapless, couch-surfing folk musician soaking up disappointments like a wet sock in the Coen brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis, the 2013 film that put him on the map at the age of 35. He has been working since, playing the hotshot pilot Poe Dameron in Star Wars: The Force Awakens and the slinky, tactile, tech-era Mephistopheles in Alex Garland’s Ex Machina. He is at his best playing ambitious, slightly myopic men whose own movement quickens their fall: a Queens oil importer struggling to stay the right side of the law in JC Chandor’s excellent A Most Violent Year, a doomed politician brutally felled by civic machination in HBO’s Show Me a Hero. He has made a career playing men for whom careerism doesn’t work. “You know what it makes me think about,” asks Isaac when I put this to him. “I just read in the New York Times about how to throw a ball. There was a thing in it from JD Salinger’s Seymour: An Introduction, about aiming. They’re playing marbles, and one of them goes: ‘Don’t aim.’ Isn’t that the point, that you want to aim? He’s like: ‘No, because if you hit him when you aim, it’ll just be luck.’ ‘How can it be luck if I aim?’ ‘If you’re glad when you hit somebody’s marble, then you secretly didn’t expect to hit it.’ You just do the thing, and so that when you get accolades and all this stuff, it feels good but it doesn’t make you glad because you’re like: ‘This just as easily could have not been.’ It’s that kind of thing.” Isaac still lives in Williamsburg in Brooklyn, in the same one-bedroom apartment he had before he caught the Coen brothers’ attention – but meets me in a suite at the Crosby Street hotel in Manhattan to talk about his new movie The Promise, a first world war period drama in which he plays an apothecary swept up in the Armenian genocide. It is the first time in the modern period that Hollywood has approached the genocide on screen, and director Terry George, whose taste for geopolitical injustice was honed on In the Name of the Father and Hotel Rwanda, invokes it through our memory of other onscreen cataclysms. There is a love triangle with the beautiful Ana (Charlotte Le Bon) and an American journalist (Christian Bale) that recalls Doctor Zhivago, the three of them struggling to make their hearts heard against a backdrop of trains and dead bodies straight out of Schindler’s List. The film is, to be frank, something of a clunker, but the role is a slam dunk for Isaac, who broods like Omar Sharif and vents impassioned, politically on-point heartbreak about the fate of refugees. They are his favourite type of role: the ones where you get to see “a lot more of the beauty and cruelty of life … The emotional hook of it was reading the scene when he finds his family killed. This wasn’t just war as usual, this was a systematic execution of people of Armenian descent. It’s very clear – you go back, and it’s like the Turkish government was saying: ‘No, now it’s going to be Turkey for the Turks. Turkey first.’ Unfortunately, you hear a lot of the same kind of rhetoric again and again and again – about refugees, about immigrants, about silencing the press. None of it’s new.” Isaac himself is chipper, energetic, charming – about as undoomed a man as you could imagine. He has the crisp lines of someone who knows himself well. He plays well with others. A recent clip reel at Vanity Fair invited readers to “Watch Oscar Isaac charm the pants off every single Star Wars: The Force Awakens cast member.” He completed shooting on the new Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi, last year, and can offer only the usual heavily redacted clues. “The characters that you know already: their specific character flaws or their weaknesses get tested. And out of that, I think, you get to see a bit more of who they are. The best way to learn about somebody is to see them in a crisis.” One of the more interesting features of Isaac’s career is that, thus far, he has avoided the typecasting that can befall actors of Latino heritage. His Wikipedia page lists the nationalities he has played: European, Egyptian, Polish, English, French, Mexican, East Timorese, Welsh, Indonesian, Greek, Cuban, Israeli, and Armenian. X-Men: Apocalypse director Bryan Singer has called him a “global human” He is actually Guatemalan, born to a Guatemalan mother and Cuban father, who brought Isaac to the US when he was five months old. His full name is Óscar Isaac Hernández Estrada but he changed his name to Isaac in his teens as his acting career took shape – “for any number of reasons but also because the marquee, you know, it’s a little easier,” he says, simplifying what must have been a complicated renegotiation of his identity. I ask if he has ever felt under any pressure to “represent” either his Guatemalan or Cuban background. “No, I don’t want to represent,” he says. “I don’t represent anybody except this organism that I happen to be. I have a love for Guatemala, a love for my family there, a love for a place that I was born, a place where my mother was born. For Cuba, as well. But, yeah, I’m always wary of people that say they speak for a large group of people because I’m always like: ‘Really? How do you know?’ To speak for a group of people is not something I’ve ever felt comfortable doing.” His upbringing was so peripatetic that it practically screams “actor”. As his father completed his medical training, the family moved from Baltimore to New Orleans, where in kindergarten in Louisiana, he got it into his head that his family had come from the Soviet Union. “I don’t know why. This was in the 1980s. I remember going to the playground and being like: ‘Hey, guys, I’m Russian! Let’s play, you guys are the Americans and I’ll be the Russian.’ I remember I went home and I was like, ‘So Dad, we’re Russian, right?’ and he was like: ‘What?’ ‘We’re Russian.’ ‘We’re rushin’ in the morning.’ Such a dad joke. ‘But that’s about it.’ And I was: ‘Aww!’ It was a weird kind of Dylan-esque thing that I just kept changing the story of where I was from or what we were. It was a form of storytelling, or a form of excitement, or a form of fun, mixed with this sense of something missing, which is a sense of place. We were never in one place for more than, I would say, three to four years.” After their house in New Orleans was destroyed by Hurricane Andrew – “I remember having dreams about that house,” he says – they resettled again in Miami, where Isaac funnelled his Dylan-esque longings into music, joined a Florida ska-punk band, and acted. “It just hit in a very specific way that when I found play-acting – mimesis, imitation – suddenly, that felt like a way of understanding the world. Even now, the play’s the thing, always. As soon as things get really confusing emotionally, or personally, when I look at a play, it suddenly makes sense. I don’t know if it’s right, I don’t know if it’s healthy, but I know myself enough to know it’s definitely a necessity. That’s what I do. I go to that stuff to help me understand. Or for solace. And maybe it is a form of hiding. Music can have that a little bit, but lately it hasn’t as much.” Last October, his mother became ill, and he took time off work to be with her for what turned out to be the final six months of her life. “I was really fortunate to be able to just be with her the entire time and not be off on some set somewhere. At first, we didn’t know how ill she was, and she didn’t either, but as things progressed, it was much easier to say no to things. At a certain point, it was like, clearly: ‘I’m not going to be doing anything.’” She died in February, although not before he had taken her to the Golden Globes as his date, flying her to Madrid to see The Promise being shot and showing her a cut of the movie. “It’s like a great movie for moms. I have to say when I first watched it, I said: ‘I think moms are really going to like the movie. I showed it to her, and sure enough, she’s like: ‘I love it, Oscar. I love it.’” He has since returned to work, appearing in Dan Fogelman’s Life Itself, a multigenerational love story, spanning decades and continents, in which Isaac’s character deals with the loss of his wife. “It was just a two-and-a-half-week shoot,” he says. “It was my first thing back, and we shot here in New York. I was very nervous about it because I was like: ‘I don’t know if I can get it up for anybody.’ You know? Or if I want to, and it ended up being so necessary in much the way that I said to you – the mirroring my own life. It’s very dark and yet I found joy in it.” Which of his roles does he feel closest to? “They’re all pretty close to me,” he says. What would his friends say? “Maybe Nathan in Ex Machina,” he says, but quickly retracts it. “I think they would say none of these were actually like me. Maybe this last one.” He pauses. “Possibly.” • The Promise is released in the UK on 28 April. ### This is a really great interview with Oscar. He opens up about his mother in this one.

[bellabooks]

“Wonder Woman” and the wonders of writing women

Wonder Woman, the latest in the DC Comics film franchise, will be released in theaters on June 2, 2017.  It’s noteworthy because the Wonder Woman character is the only female superhero featured in this line-up, soon to be followed by Aquaman and The Flash in 2018. These films, including Shazam, will continue the all-male tradition of superhero films. Bella authors, who regularly write about women, definitely have something to say about this iconic character. Renée J. Lukas, a Bella author and film fanatic, shares her perspective on this momentous step by Warner Bros., and why it’s so important to increase female visibility in film.   Why Did it Take So Long for Wonder Woman to be Brought to the Big Screen? Warner Bros. response: they found it difficult because they knew they had to “get it right.” You’re darn right they did. They had to make her soft enough to appeal to the traditional members of the audience, but badass enough to appeal to women like me who are still likely to rake them over the coals for her skimpy outfit. Heck, even if the movie is absolutely perfect, some critics, including myself, are still not likely to be happy about it. So is it any wonder a studio would fear Wonder Woman? But eventually, the public outcry about Wonder Woman’s omission from the Marvel superhero line-up became too deafening. And now, a gazillion years later, action has finally been taken.   What is the Problem with Wonder Woman? First, let’s be clear. It isn’t Wonder Woman’s fault. Her character has the same problem that the first LGBT character or black character or Hispanic character or Asian character, etc. has. When you’re the lone example of your group, (in this case—in a particular genre), standing on the horizon, everyone is going to assume you represent ALL of your group, which is never the case. And that’s a lot of pressure, even for a fictitious character.   We Haven’t Come a Long Enough Way, Baby The more pervasive problem: According to the acclaimed documentary MissRepresentation, only 16% of women are protagonists, or main characters, in U.S. movies. Women make up 51% of the U.S. population, yet are virtually non-existent in leading roles in big studio films. Yes, there are exceptions, but this is still the rule. And the numbers are worse when talking about the superhero genre. So in that context, the pressure is really on Wonder Woman’s shoulders, as a shining beacon of female superhero-ness. The solution? Fill the screens with more women, so they can be treated as diverse characters the way male characters are. What a revolutionary idea! Among male characters on the big screen, you have your heroes, your bad apples, your much older men who happen to still be alive after age forty, and you have your heroic but flawed guys. Guess what? I’ll let you in on a big secret. Come a little closer. . . women are like that, too! Who knew?   Hollywood’s Female Problem In the superhero/action genre, male writers seem to have a block when it comes to writing women. In other words, they can’t do it. The problem is they see a man at the center of the universe, and any woman who enters the plot is usually just a manifestation of male fantasy—the love interest. But a love interest isn’t a real person who yells back at the TV news, who steps in something sticky on a sidewalk. . .things mere mortals do. A love interest is on a pedestal, so her lines are very limited and reveal little about her as a person. The love interest’s dialogue is populated with things that assist the male character, lines like “Can I help? You seem tense.” Why does this matter? Statistically speaking, whenever you go to the movies, 9 times out of 10 you’re seeing a film directed by a man. Since film is the most powerful medium in shaping cultural attitudes, this translates to a male-dominated viewpoint that profoundly impacts our collective consciousness. Let that sink in a moment. Even in classics like Casablanca, they shot Ingrid Bergman with a high angle so the audience was literally looking down on her, while looking up at Humphrey Bogart with a low angle. Imagine that.  It’s so disturbing it’s worthy of a separate blog.   Bella Books and the Deep, Deep Secrets of Writing Women At Bella Books, we writers are used to writing women as people—flawed, magnificent, not-so-magnificent. . . and our readers find our characters to be colorful, often relatable and even frustrating at times. It’s ironic, though. Even as lesbians who do find women to be our “love interests,” we tend to treat women to a fully multi-dimensional existence in our stories. In my comedy, The Comfortable Shoe Diaries, there’s a woman plagued by anxiety disorders. In Hurricane Days, there are double-crossing women whose intentions (they both think) are equally honorable. But these women aren’t all good or all bad.  Like life, there’s plenty of gray area. It baffles me to see how Hollywood continues to stuff female characters in boxes. All you have to do is live a little, and you’ll meet so many wild, weird, wonderful women. Why is it so puzzling to write about them?   How a Trope Becomes a Trope So we’re left with female film tropes and very little deviation from them. Why does this happen? A trope becomes a trope when a writer copies what he sees in other works without drawing from his own experience. It’s lazy writing, to say the least. Either that, or the only women most male writers in Hollywood have ever met have been prostitutes, strippers or the always supportive housewives who are content to live their lives through the actions of their husbands—the ones who wait at the door with a fresh avocado and a neck rub. Personally, I’ve never met any of these women. Back to superheroes. As someone who likes character-driven stories, I’ll admit I’m not a big Avengers/Marvel franchises fan. I don’t enjoy watching stories where the women are placed as props for the men, which is so often the case. But it didn’t always seem this way. In the mid-‘70s Superman franchise, Margot Kidder’s Lois Lane had way more personality than the cardboard “love interest” we see so much of today. In fact, her character was infused with plenty of the drive you see in women trying to make a name for themselves in the big city. She was humorous and lovable, not just a silky voiced woman who slid on stockings at just the right camera angle. Unfortunately, women in many of today’s superhero films are on set merely as decorations with extra cleavage. Or, “Oh look, she can kick bad guys while wearing a skin tight suit!” The flip side: When a female superhero is included, meaning she has more than three lines, the idea is that she must be as tough and badass as possible in order to be considered equal to the male characters. Now I’ll admit Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow can tie me up any day. But this thinking leaves you with heroes that must continuously be bigger and badassier than ever until there’s hardly a shred of humanity left in the character—or until they’re all more like stereotypical action guys. Is that true equality? It’s nothing but punching and kicking and more action than an energy drink commercial. It’s exhausting. Now I understand that fans of superhero action flicks aren’t going for depth of character. Your expectations for dialogue are more like “Hand me that rope!” with a focus on the death-defying situations that will be faced. I get that. I also get that we’ve had some films that dared to put a woman front and center in the action genre—a risky move indeed. (Not risky, but the studios seem to think it is.) Speaking of Scarlett Johansson, she’s enjoyed some success as the lead in the traditionally male sci-fi genre with incredible films like Lucy and Under the Skin.  Oh, and who can forget Sigourney Weaver carrying the Alien franchise. . . But for some reason, the superhero genre has eluded female characters for quite some time. I did believe they’d use every last male character in their line-up (Ant Man? Squid Guy? Sewage Rat. . .), anyone else, before attempting a female superhero. Now that it’s happening, we have to hope it won’t be a one-shot wonder.   Sometimes Being a Lesbian Complicates Things As a lesbian, I always feel conflicting emotions when I think of iconic women in movies. On the one hand, in my mind, no one but Lynda Carter will ever be fit to throw that golden lasso. And yes, she’s older now AND still sexy. If Jack Nicholson can play roles until he’s a hundred, Lynda Carter can still be Wonder Woman. Next, it would be great if Wonder Woman is hot, but not in a male titillation kind of way. Now hear me out. . . Since nearly everything in Hollywood is written, packaged and produced for the male gaze, I cringe at the thought of Wonder Woman being yet another prop for male fantasy. Of course this begs the question—what are the differences, even subtle, between lesbian and straight male fantasies? I’d argue there are differences in the way sexy women are depicted, but sometimes there’s probably overlap. For me, it boils down to the under-representation of women in front of and behind the camera, as mentioned earlier. So despite my overall wariness about superhero/action movies, I’ll be going to see Wonder Woman in theaters when it comes out, hopefully to break box office records, to send a message to studios that female characters CAN and SHOULD open a tentpole film, and that women in Hollywood should be paid what their male counterparts are paid. As of now, it’s a political act. And it will continue to be a political act until female characters are as diverse as males, and until it’s not such a big deal to have a female superhero headlining a film. Renée J. Lukas holds a B.A. in Motion Picture History, Theory & Criticism from Wright State University. She is the author of four books published by Bella Books, the latest one, In Her Eyes, due out this July. http://dlvr.it/PJSxX8

[emma-what-son]

Emma Watson: I've always said, 'forget the engagement ring, build me a library!'

From Independent.ie March 2017: She's playing "a Disney princess gone rogue", but after the backlash to that photo shoot, actress Emma Watson is walking a carefully plotted line between art and politics. Here, our reporter meets the guarded Beauty and the Beast star.

"Dan brought such a tenderness and dry humour to Beast, which made him all the more relatable," she gushes. He responds with an equally fawning: "Emma's chief motivation was being able to tell the kind of messages that are pertinent across generations. Not just about wearing Belle's yellow dress."

The largely sycophantic back and forth continues with words on Emma's immeasurable kindness and Dan's boundless generosity. There are tales of Steven's "hair-raising" adventures on stilts to achieve Beast's height, and Emma comparing her singing to legendary off-key chanteuse Florence Foster Jenkins, played by Meryl Streep in last year's eponymous biopic. How watching Katharine Hepburn screwball comedies provided huge inspiration for their characters.

Altogether, it's a perfect puff exercise in promotional Hollywood chit-chat orchestrated by Watson's team of rigid representatives.

Before today's audience with the former Harry Potter graduate, journalists had to sign a clause-filled contract. The immovable interview terms demanded no personal questions of any kind; no questions about her background; no mention of La La Land (Watson reportedly turned down Emma Stone's Oscar-winning role). Basically nothing beyond the fairy tale.

There were no such conditions for talking to former Downton Abbey star Stevens.

Now, "no personal questions" is a frequent request delivered by the movie PR folk but usually comes as a verbal, quiet warning not to venture down the path of messy divorce or criminal activity. 

A binding contract this inflexible, however, is something else entirely - something I have never encountered before.

'Brand Watson' is a carefully master- minded machine: one which boasts nearly 50million social media followers. Unfortunately for the 26-year-old star, a grey area exists between her unrelenting, admirable crusade for gender equality and her acting career.

In playing Belle in the €150million live-action revamp of the childhood classic, Watson has intentionally blended her politics with her art. The feminist campaigner has become a Disney princess. Which, in promotional discussion, invariably forces her to reveal herself, just a little.

"Innately at the centre of Beauty and the Beast was this heroine who went against the crowd, marched to the beat of her own drum," Watson tells me. "Fearlessly independent-minded, defiant. Nothing around her is affirming her choices. She's incredibly curious and learned and does things her own way. And I connected with her sense of defiance. She's a Disney princess gone rogue.

"I watched a lot of films as a young woman that I felt gave me less choices and constricted me, as opposed to making me feel that the world was limitless and possibilities were endless. And I also knew how important Belle is as a symbol because of how important she was to me as a young girl. She was my idol - my own personal heroine - so I know how important it was to get it right."

Getting Belle right in 2017 is indeed important, lest it jeopardise the work that Watson has done - and the reputation she has built as an intellectual and feminist crusader - previously.

Her public campaign for equality began with an impassioned address in front of the UN in the summer of 2014, heralding the HeForShe campaign, which calls for men to advocate for gender equality. In speaking out, the actor became both a symbol and a target. And her words and actions are now microscopically scrutinised as a result. For example, that same year, her criticism of fellow feminist Beyoncé's music videos for the Lemonade album - which Watson said in an interview exhibited a "very male voyeuristic experience" - was met with overwhelming backlash. Those quotes were resurrected this month when Watson's own shoot for Vanity Fair featured a photo (below) of her with her breasts partly exposed.

In the furore that followed, Watson was forced to defend the photograph. "It just always reveals to me how many misconceptions and what a misunderstanding there is about what feminism is," she said in an interview with news agency Reuters.

"Feminism is about giving women choice. Feminism is not a stick with which to beat other women. It's about freedom; it's about liberation; it's about equality. I really don't know what my t**s have to do with it. It's very confusing." It's left Watson wedged firmly between a rock and a hard place. And today, when I push her on that difficult position (and much to the horror of her stern publicist), she delivers an uncharacteristically human response.

"To be that public about my opinions and feelings, you can't say something like that and not walk the walk. If you're going to do that, well, I have to live by this. And taking a stance on things doesn't make life easier - it definitely makes things more complicated."

She pauses for thought, perhaps sensing a vulnerability to her words that she then attempts to counter. "You know, the battles I fought and I fight make what I do feel much more worthwhile and it gives me much more of a sense of purpose. And I'm glad that I get actively involved. But it's not easy. Ultimately, I follow my heart because that's all I can do."

There's no doubting that Beauty and the Beast is a passion project for Watson. Directed by Bill Condon - the man behind Dreamgirls and Chicago - the lavish epic is a beautiful spectacle, largely modelled on the 1992 classic, the first animation to receive a Best Picture Oscar nomination. Alongside Stevens and a starry cast including Ewan McGregor as Lumière, Emma Thompson as Mrs Potts and Ian McKellen as Cogsworth, Watson shimmers as Belle, the wayward outsider, stifled by her insular village surrounds.

When she stumbles on the Beast's castle where her father, played by Kevin Kline, is imprisoned, she sacrifices herself and takes his place. She soon learns that Beast and his servants are cursed by a spell which can only be broken by true love.

"It's literally your childhood fantasy," Watson explains, in her signature clipped tones. "I watched that film with a sense of wonderment probably a thousand times, much to the annoyance of my parents. And to actually be in that dress, riding Philippe [the horse], to be wandering around that beautiful castle set, it was amazing. I also felt an immense responsibility. While it was me playing the role, there's a huge pressure because Belle - she's an archetype, she's a symbol, she's every girl. If I do my job well, she belongs to everyone, not just to me."

Watson claims that much modernisation was needed to bring the new version up to date. "The original was released in 1992; now it's 2017: things have moved on a lot from then. I think the film would fall flat if they didn't speak to the times we're in now."

Director Bill Condon says Watson (who today is clad in a monochrome bustier and trousers by Carmen March, one of the many ethically sourced outfits worn for the Beauty promotional tour and documented on her new Instagram page, @the_press_tour) was at the heart of Belle's feminist reinvention.

"She was involved in everything having to do with Belle's environment and costumes. She was so meticulous in the meaning of every costume change, about wearing the appropriate boots and about the dress she wears in the village having pockets.

"Also, Belle was as much an inventor as her father, which was hinted at in the animation. Here we have her doing her own calculations. Emma suggested we could do more with her alone in her own specific world, which led to a washing machine in a well. That was all Emma."

Belle's love of literature is something Watson was also keen to play up. And small wonder, since she founded an online feminist book club, Our Shared Shelf, which boasts nearly 175,000 members. "When Belle enters Beast's library, that's not just her dream - that's mine," Watson says. "I love how she swings along on those wheelie ladders, climbing these elevated storeys of books. And, you know, I've always said, stuff the engagement ring! Just build me a really big library."

For both Stevens and Watson, Beauty and the Beast marks an opportunity to finally eclipse their signature roles in Downton and Harry Potter, respectively. Do they relish that thought?

Her publicist's nostrils flare slightly, while Watson shyly squirms in her seat. Stevens, however, gratefully responds.

"It's certainly not a burden," he says. "Downton changed my life and I know [Harry Potter] changed Emma's. The privilege of that and to carry forward with roles like this adds to the canon."

"And Emma?" I ask. She hesitates slightly. It's a perplexing display for a question so tame. "I think that I just feel really lucky. For me, Belle was my childhood heroine; [the film] came out two days after I was born. And then, in my early teens, it was about idolising Hermione. So to be given the chance to play my two childhood idols is probably a very unique and rare experience for an actress.

"And I think," she continues, "I think I came out of this with more confidence, with more skills. And more belief in myself. Because when I came off Potter and decided to go to university, that wasn't a career decision the people I worked with were pleased about. But I kind of… I try to stay true to whatever whisper I'm getting from myself and I hope that will see me through. That's all I can do really. Otherwise, if I don't listen to myself, I'd feel a bit lost in it all."

Difficult to imagine Emma Watson, the twentysomething movie mogul and ambassador for human rights, feeling lost. And given the rigorous conditions attached to today's interview, one could easily question whether these humble claims are just part of the act.

Meeting the star today, however, it seems that, under the shiny veneer and terse brand control, lies a grounded spirit and decent human being trying to do some good. Hopefully, she'll stay the course as a campaigner and not become a total princess.

[oscopelabs]

‘The Counselor’: No Movie for Most Men (or Women) by Mike D’Angelo

[This month, Musings pays homage to Produced and Abandoned: The Best Films You’ve Never Seen, a review anthology from the National Society of Film Critics that championed studio orphans from the ‘70s and ‘80s. In the days before the Internet, young cinephiles like myself relied on reference books and anthologies to lead us to film we might not have discovered otherwise. Released in 1990, Produced and Abandoned was a foundational piece of work, introducing me to such wonders as Cutter’s Way, Lost in America, High Tide, Choose Me, Housekeeping, and Fat City. (You can find the full list of entries here.) Over the next four weeks, Musings will offer its own selection of tarnished gems, in the hope they’ll get a second look. Or, more likely, a first. —Scott Tobias, editor.]

Most people prefer movies to be affirming, in some way. Life-affirming, love-affirming, norm-affirming—just so long as something we believe (or want to believe) gets reinforced, everybody’s happy. Declining to satisfy that desire is step one en route to making an art film, or what publicists who are nervous about the word “art” like to call a specialty release. These, too, cater to viewers’ preconceived notions about the world (good luck finding something that doesn’t), but they target notions that are less commonly held, which makes them less commercially viable. Deriving enjoyment from genuinely despairing or pessimistic movies is a taste that must be acquired, and only a small subset of the population has the time or the inclination. These are the folks who’ll go see a Moonlight, say, or a Manchester By The Sea. They’re game.

It’s possible to alienate these adventurous, open-minded viewers, too, though, by making a movie that’s not just challenging or upsetting, but flat-out nihilistic. A movie that assumes the worst about human nature, with few (if any) mollifying grace notes. A movie that, at least to some extent, glorifies venality and ugliness. “Alienate” is too mild a word for the common reaction, actually. They will be pissed off.

Such was the reception that greeted The Counselor back in 2013. Expectations for the film were sky high: It features a superb cast (Michael Fassbender, Pénélope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz, and Brad Pitt); was directed by Ridley Scott (a decidedly erratic talent, but still capable of greatness); and, most exciting of all, boasts a screenplay from Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Cormac McCarthy. McCarthy’s books had been adapted several times—most notably by the Coen Brothers, whose version of No Country for Old Men won multiple Oscars—but he’d never before written an original story expressly for the big screen. Had The Counselor been made available intravenously, many would have mainlined it without hesitation.

Cue the adrenaline-shot scene from Pulp Fiction. Not all of the Counselor reviews were negative, by any means, but the critics who hated it really, really hated it. “Meet the Worst Movie Ever Made” ran the headline on Andrew O’Hehir’s savage takedown at Salon, and that wasn’t some editor’s hype; in the actual piece, O’Hehir expands his assessment to “the worst movie in the history of the universe,” thereby dismissing the possibility that alien life forms in faraway galaxies may possibly have committed an even greater sin against cinema. Other reviews in major publications deemed the film “lethally pretentious,” “a jaw-dropping misfire,” and “unforgivably phony, talky and dull.” (Characters do indeed talky on the phony sometimes.) Audiences were similarly repulsed: The Counselor got a dismal D in Cinemascore’s survey, which generally skews so positive that you can currently find an A- assigned to the likes of Assassin's Creed (Metacritic score: 36/100) and Collateral Beauty (Metacritic score: 23/100). It’s not a popular title.

Here are a few reasons why many people seem to hate it:

The narrative is ludicrously convoluted.

All of the characters speak primarily in lengthy philosophical monologues.

It’s just a catalogue of horrible things happening to people who mostly deserve them.

Cameron Diaz fucks a car.

We’ll come back to that last one. Let’s start at the beginning, with the basic story McCarthy wants to tell. The Counselor is about a drug deal that goes horrifically wrong, mostly because the title character (played by Fassbender; we never learn the guy’s name), who’s never done this before and just wants to make some quick cash, has not the slightest clue what he’s doing. That’s essentially all you need to know, as far as making sense of events is concerned. McCarthy lays out some essential details—how the drugs are transported, and by whom, and who’s looking for a way to intercept the shipment—but only in the service of making it clear that what befalls the counselor is to some degree just very bad luck. What matters is that he was completely unprepared for the possibility that some random misfortune could cost multiple people their lives. Indeed, even the characters, like Brad Pitt’s Westray, who consider themselves prepared, and keep warning the counselor that he’s unprepared, are not themselves really prepared.

Think for a moment about Jurassic Park. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t much matter exactly why the dinosaurs get loose—that Wayne Knight’s programmer was planning to steal embryos, and that he got killed by a dinosaur in the attempt, and that his death left the fences unelectrified, and etc. It could just as easily have been some other series of seemingly random deviations from expected outcomes. (Indeed, Ian Malcolm, the chaos theory-obsessed mathematician played by Jeff Goldblum, would argue that it surely would have been.) Jurassic Park is a simple tale of hubris: Various smart people foolishly imagine that they can control the uncontrollable, but something utterly unforeseen occurs, and all hell breaks loose. Nobody complains that the chain of events leading to disaster is overly complicated, because it’s all just a means of providing the exciting sequences of people being menaced by dinosaurs that we want to see.

The Counselor is basically the same movie, aimed at a different sensibility—one that doesn’t necessarily require some of the threatened characters to be sympathetic, and that appreciates a more detached approach to carnage. About halfway through the movie, a man about whom we know nothing shows up at a motorcycle dealership, waves off the salesperson, and proceeds to measure the height of a particular bike. For those on the right wavelength, curiosity about this anonymous character’s purpose is its own reward, and the gruesome payoff constitutes just as much “fun” as does watching a dude cowering on a toilet get chomped by a Tyrannosaurus rex. It’s not even wholly clear to me why the latter is almost universally perceived as entertainment, while the former got widely dismissed as empty grotesquerie. Both involve a benignly sadistic voyeurism that’s always been at the core of the moviegoing experience.

Granted, The Counselor’s nihilism might be less off-putting to many if the characters didn’t keep openly discussing it, often in speeches that occupy several minutes of screen time. (And that’s after they've been trimmed—the unrated extended cut of the film, available on the Blu-ray release, runs an extra 21 minutes, with most of that consisting of additional monologue.) This is a natural reaction, as most screenwriters would hesitate to include even one such blatant exegesis in a screenplay, much less a baker’s dozen of ‘em. There’s something strangely liberating, though, about seeing this dramaturgical rule violated with such gleeful excess. Almost every character in The Counselor, including those who drop in for just a scene or two, is ludicrously verbose, prone to bloviating. The first couple of times, it’s a weird distraction; by the end, it’s become an even weirder form of gallows humor. How many different ways can this movie’s pitiless thesis be openly analyzed by the very people who are doomed to be spared its pity?

If McCarthy were Joe Eszterhas, sure, it’d be a problem. But the speeches are beautifully written and performed, and the ordinary give-and-take dialogue is even better. There are admittedly some howlers, like Malkina, the femme fatale, being asked if she’s really that cold (emotionally) and replying “Truth has no temperature.” (Though even that line might have worked with a different actor; I'll get to Diaz shortly.) The stuff that makes me cringe is handily outweighed, however, by the stuff that makes me chortle.

“Is this place secure?” “Who knows? I don’t speak in arraignable phrases anywhere.”

“I want to give her a diamond so big she’ll be afraid to wear it.” “She’s probably more courageous than you imagine.”

“Cheers.” “A plague of pustulent boils upon all their scurvid asses.” “Is that your normal toast?” “Increasingly.”

As far as I can determine, McCarthy invented the adjective “scurvid,” but it sounds suitably noxious. In any case, the notion that a movie chock-full of pungent exchanges like these offers nothing of value is absurd. Certainly the actors relish them. Pitt, who’s usually at his best when he goes over the top (Twelve Monkeys, Burn After Reading), finds just the right degree of languid sangfroid for his cautious middleman, and Bardem turns in a performance as amusingly eccentric as the wardrobe his character sports. The one weak link is Diaz, for whom Malkina’s predatory nature proves just too much of a stretch. (It doesn’t help that she reportedly performed the role with a Bajan accent, then was asked to overdub it.) The infamous scene in which Malkina intimidates Bardem’s Reiner by rubbing herself against the windshield of his Ferrari was always meant to be ludicrous—although McCarthy’s screenplay conceived it entirely as a story that Reiner tells the counselor, not something that we’re meant to actually see. With Diaz visibly straining to look depraved, it comes across even sillier than was intended; imagine Charlize Theron in her place, and see if it doesn’t suddenly shift into focus, along with the rest of Malkina’s presence in the movie.

Even with these undeniable flaws, McCarthy’s offbeat vision for the movie survives mostly intact. Scott wisely stays out of his way, choosing to serve the text, though he declines to indulge some of the screenplay’s most experimental ideas. The opening scene, for example, depicting the counselor and his girlfriend (Cruz) in bed, begins with the two of them hidden entirely beneath white sheets, suggesting two corpses. As scripted, they were supposed to remain hidden from view the entire time, for what was originally going to be six or seven minutes. What’s more, McCarthy specifies that all their dialogue should be subtitled, despite being spoken in English, as it’ll be too muffled to hear. (Said dialogue is also considerably more blue in its original form.) The decision to shoot the scene more conventionally seems perfectly defensible, but I do wonder whether the more extreme version McCarthy intended might have at least helped to signal that The Counselor doesn’t operate like a traditional thriller. Its subsequent discursiveness and single-mindedness wouldn’t have seemed so thoroughly out of character.

Ultimately, what made this film an object of ridicule—see also everything from Ishtar to Drive—is the enormous gap between the size of the audience it courted and the size of the audience predisposed to appreciate it. Not many people would salivate at a description like “what you might get if you gene-spliced a slow-motion multi-car accident with a freshman comparative philosophy seminar.” (That’s not from a negative review—it's my own best précis.) But not every movie needs to appeal to every taste. And a movie that makes a lot of folks mad is always more interesting than a movie that makes everyone shrug.