#I hope this was okay? sorry idk if I read the prompt right. the depression brainfog is strong with me

[breitzbachbea]

Prompt idea : Japan invents an RPG game where he and his friends are the main characters. Italy starts playing and eventually becomes obsessed with it. Germany is soon concerned about him when Italy finds his ‘new best gaming pal’

"You know it's not good to stare at a screen for this long," Ludwig said and Feliciano gave him a peeved squint. Or maybe his eyes just did that after 16 hours of screentime.

"Do not worry, Ludwig," Kiku explained calmly. "I've bought a special face massager that ensures one can keep working - or playing - for hours on end and yet not risk any damage that would prevent further productivity or enjoyment."

Ludwig stared at him. "Now I'm just worried about the both of you."

[fangurk]

She’s Always There (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Key:

Y/n: Your Name

Y/l/n: Your Last Name

Y/n/n: Your Nickname

Y/e/c: Your Eye Color

Y/h/c: Your Hair Color

Prompt Given To Me By @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhh.tumblr.com: hey!! so the reason I'm messaging is because I wanted to request something but can't fit it all into an ask lmao. anyways could i please request a Paul Lahote x reader where the reader has been super close to the whole pack for years and has been Paul's imprint but doesn't know it (bc Sam thought it would be best to keep u away from it all) and they decide to finally tell you about being shapeshifters and being Paul's imprint and you're so mad about them not telling u earlier and there's a huge argument and they and Paul tries to calm you down but you say stuff like 'leave me alone' and things like that and it sounds like you're rejecting him/the bond in ur angry breakdown. anyways Paul is heartbroken and can't get out of bed or eat or anything so the guys finally convince you to come back bc they and Paul need you and it's just the reader cuddling with him and getting him out of bed to take a shower and eat and he realizes that you're not going anywhere and it's just like healing the imprint bond? sorry for this WALL of text, I've just had this idea stuck in my head for a while lol. if you don't want to do it, that's completely fine!! thank you for your time ♡

ok so my guy,, bc this fic has been stuck in my head for a bit, some scenes have developed? so idk i hope this isn't too much, but if u do write it, would u be willing to add like some angst to it, obvi, and maybe a scene/part lol where when the reader tries to get him to shower (bc the misinterpreted rejection made him like super depressed and he just felt low about himself) he won't shower, because he doesn't want to come out and the reader is gone. so either they shower together (not smutty just angst&fluff) or she sits like in the bathroom while he showers LOL. and when he feels a bit better, they go down to eat and he's touching some part of her at all times. if this is too much to like,, include then that's a-okay. i just need to get this OUT of my MIND ugh lmao!/!

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: The Reader has been friends with most of the pack members for her whole life. Which is why, after months of silence and strange changes, she was willing to let them back into her life— until she finds out she’s been told lies that leave her in danger, of course. After a big freak out and two weeks of avoiding them, the boys come begging for her help; it turns out that Paul has some wolf-y claim on her, and whatever she said to him has left him worse for wear...

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Nudity, Angst, and Cursing.

A/n: this is literally like a whole novel I’m so sorry I got carried away. this is kinda based on a lot of fics I read where the imprint has the potential to really hurt people and I named Paul’s dad.

Word Count: 2.9k+

“The legends are real!?”

Y/n Y/l/n hasn’t ever been so disturbed in her entire life.

After weeks of radio silence, Sam Uley’s little ‘gang’, mostly consisting of people she’d known since childhood, had slowly trickled back into her life. What started as a grocery run with Paul or a movie with Jared had turned into big bonfire parties including Jacob Black and his gaggle.

But that was months ago. Months. And now, as she sits by a fire, surrounded on either side by them, they decide to tell her their little secret?

“Y/n.” Sam says as she abruptly stands, eyes stern and hand raised placatingly.

His actions only served to upset her more and her skin bristles with irritation. Sam was acting as if she, a human surrounded by shape shifters, was the unstable one. As if she could do any damage to things built to kill vampires.

“Don’t you dare, Sam.” She clenches her fists, glaring right back at him. “It’s been months- months- and you’re telling me now?”

“It’s not exactly an easy thing to bring up.” He reasons, voice a little less demanding. “We all wanted to be sure that you were ready to know.”

“Ready?!” Y/n laughs mirthlessly, y/e/c eyes wide with disbelief, “When was I supposed to be ready Sam? W-when one of you gored me? When a cold one ripped me apart?”

Her hands shake as she puts them on her forehead, blinking back tears. Growing up all she’d ever heard were stories of humans getting dragged into fights between wolf and vampire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look Emily in the eye because it was suddenly apparent that wolves alone could hurt people too.

It was so bad, whatever happened to Emily, that they said a bear mauled her— Y/n didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“It’s not like that, Y/n/n.” Embry chimes in, reaching out to grab his friend's arm.

She yanks her body out of the way and gathers her belongings quickly.

“What is it like then, Call?” She holds her bag to her heaving chest, “because it seems to me that you all have the ability to turn into giant, slobbery freaks that are built for killing vampires and, after completely dropping me for weeks, you decided to keep it secret from me for months. Did it even occur to you that I would’ve been better off knowing right off the bat?!”

No one says anything. Eight shifters and two of their girlfriends sit there, just staring at her like she was speaking a different language.

“You know,” Y/n has to clear her throat to steady her wavering voice, “had you guys really been souped-up on drugs like everyone says, maybe I could’ve handled the lying. But my life was clearly potentially in danger, and you let me hang around without saying anything. I- God I don’t want to see you people right now.”

She leaves with that, stepping over logs and storming back down the beach with determination. Faintly over the roar of her heartbeat, she can hear someone scrambling to stand behind her.

“Wait!— shit, sorry-” Paul grunts, jogging to catch up with her- “Y/n-“

With an unusual gentleness, his warm hand wrapped around her forearm. For a moment, deep in the back of her mind, a foreign feeling tells her to stop, to listen; but that small voice is quickly smothered by the rational part of her brain, and she wrenches her arm from his grip.

“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, lowering her voice, “Leave me alone- I need to be alone.”

Paul stands there, dumbstruck, an unreadable look in his eyes as she walks away. And he’d continue to stand there, looking like a kicked puppy long after her retreating form became a blur amongst the darkness of the beach.

“Paul?” Sam is hesitant, hand hovering over the younger boy’s shoulder a minute before he touches him, “You okay?”

Shrugging his leader’s arm off his shoulder, Paul sighs. “No...I...I’m just gonna head home.”

Instead of going in the directions of the cars, the wolf stalks off toward the woods; Emily stands from her seat, wrapping her sweater more around herself as she watches Paul leave. Concern is written all over her features.

“He’ll be fine, Em,” He pulls her in for a hug, “it’ll all work out eventually.”

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Y/n does a good job of avoiding them for a while.

She turns her phone off a few days in and avoids going to First Beach, even when Washington gets a rare, warm summer feel. Books that have sat long forgotten on her shelves get read and TV shows she’s always meant to catch up on get watched; it’s boring and she runs out of options, at one point thinking of dying her hair y/f/c just to spice things up, but it allows her to think. (Or at least it allows this strange little voice in the back of her head to tell her that she needs to go back to them.)

The next time she sees any of the boys is exactly two weeks after the bonfire incident.

She’s curled up on her couch, picking at some of the Clearwaters’ fish fry and barely watching an episode of ANTM, when a fist comes banging down on her door. Turning off the TV, she tiptoes to the window, peeking under the curtain as carefully as she can.

As she expected, Jared Cameron and Embry Call are on her porch, the former standing in front of her door with his hip cocked, the other rooting around in her mother’s plants for something. Cringing, she hopes if she’s quiet enough that they’ll just go away.

Her front door opens within minutes, however, and she realizes her hoping is fruitless.

Should’ve known you can’t hide from wolves, she can’t help but think bitterly.

“Y/n?” Jared calls out through the house, “we know you’re here.”

“Yeah, and you guys should probably move your spare key,” Embry tacks on, flicking the light switch to the living room up, “I've known you forever and it’s still in the same place.”

From her spot by the window, the y/h/c haired girl glares at the two boys, arms crossed over her chest. Embry gives her a lopsided grin and holds the key out to her, his bud plopping down on the couch and pulling her abandoned plate into his lap.

Y/n extends a hand to take the key.

“Has it really been in the same place?” She sounds a little more defeated than she’d like.

“Yeah, it’s always been in your mother’s cornflower pot.”

“That’s...kinda sad.” She wrinkles her nose, pocketing the key with the intention to hide it better later, “but uh, I’ve been ignoring you for two weeks for a reason. Peacefully breaking into my house kinda furthers my need for space.”

Embry scratches the back of his neck.

“Well,” He says, “we need you to come back, man. Paul won’t talk to anyone- Sam doesn’t know if he’s eating, and he won’t even get out of bed for patrol! He needs his imprint-”

“His what?” She cocks her head to the side and Jared snorts from the couch.

“She left before we got there, nimrod,” Jared mocks through a mouthful of food, “she doesn’t know what an imprint is.”

He lets out an indignant “Hey!” as Y/n walks by, snatching her plate back from him on her way to the kitchen. Embry chases after her, a grumpy Jared jumping up from the couch to follow.

“You’re his imprint— you’re basically his soulmate!”

“Really?” She says warily, sealing the fish and putting it back in the fridge.

Both boys nod clumsily.

“You remember a few weeks ago when you saw each other for the first time again and he kinda just stood there like an idiot while you talked?”

“Yeah? Oh!-” She brings her hands up to her mouth, brows furrowed as she recalls.

It was exactly Jared had said. She and Paul had seen one another for the first time in a long time and the minute her y/e/c eyes looked into his, it was like he’d been struck dumb.

Embry gives her an encouraging look, “An imprint is...It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. When you snapped at him last week he thought you were rejecting him….”

A part of her thought about how absurd it was that he knew that whole speech. But the bigger part of her came to a realization that made her stomach churn.

“So he's all depressed… because… of me?” She whispers, leaning back on the counter.

Embry, always a rather sympathetic person, opens his mouth to comfort her, but Jared cuts him off.

“Basically. So are you going to come with us so we can help Paul or are you going to continue being petty?”

In any other circumstance, Y/n probably would’ve thrown something at her for calling her petty. She felt she was completely justified in her actions. A part of her wonders if she can really believe them— they’d spent months lying to her after all. But a larger part thinks about Paul, curled up in his bed, slowly desecrating because he thinks she rejected him.

If it were really all some ploy to get her to listen to them, then she’d at least be the person who chose the well-being of her friend over a petty disagreement.

“I’m coming.” She affirms, pushing herself off the counter, and letting the boys lead her to the car.

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Jared and Embry drop her off in front of the Lahote household. They tell her something but she can’t really hear them over her heartbeat, she doesn’t even know they’re gone until it’s too late to turn back.

Getting into the house wasn’t the hard part. Paul’s father, Cyrus, had been leaving as she arrived, and, after he watched her stare at the house with a fearful expression for a few minutes, he happily let her in. The hard part was willing her legs to take her up the stairs to Paul’s room, and then it was opening his bedroom door.

Y/n has known Paul since they were eight, but she was afraid of him until they were eleven. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his anger made him do mean things; she wasn’t entirely happy with puberty and it’s monthly gifts, but whatever it did to make her suddenly un-afraid of him she was grateful for. But now, standing in front of his bedroom door, she had a nagging fear that Paul would revert to that eight year old boy who threw lunch boxes and twisted arms behind backs until people cried.

The door creaks slightly as she struggles to push it open.

His room is almost completely dark except for the light coming from the hallway behind her. Trash and dirty clothes have formed a compact layer on his bedroom floor, foot sized holes leading up to the twin sized bed in the corner. On the bed, amongst the blankets she’s sure he doesn’t need, is Paul— or at least, a Paul sized lump.

As gross as it is, she’s kind of relieved he’s been eating.

“Paul?” She whispers tentatively, stepping toward the bed.

The lump flinches and turns toward her.

“Y/n?”

If the room and the description of his state weren’t heartbreaking enough, his voice definitely was. Hollow, rough, and small, everything it never was, everything Paul wasn’t.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah...it’s me..”

She carefully steps over to the bed, and Paul slowly sits up, pushing his blankets to the side. There’s a beat of silence as she stands between his legs, his reluctant hands coming to rest on her waist after a minute. Y/n let’s him have another to gather his thoughts.

“You really came…” Tears well up in his eyes and loops his arms around her back.

She runs a hand through his hair. “I did, and I’m so sorry, if I had known—”

Paul nuzzles her stomach, “S’fine, you didn’t know, and you’re here now.”

There’s a sort of cute, euphoria lacing his voice and he’s visibly much more relaxed.

“Just don’t ever say that again…”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She’s surprised when he manhandles her into his lap, but she doesn’t really mind. He’s warm and strangely familiar and something about it just— clicks.

“When was the last time you spent, I dunno, a minute or two out of your room?” Y/n asks softly, y/e/c eyes glancing about the room.

The shifter’s only response is a shrug, too busy nosing around her neck with vigor. When he finds a certain spot, it makes her squeak, and this seems to excite him like a puppy finding out its favorite toy makes noise.

“You need to bathe, eat something substantial,” She intertwines their fingers, “and the...pack...they’re really worried about you— are you even listening to me?”

He looks up at her then and flashes her a sheepish smile, answering her question. Pursing her lips, she pulls his arms from around her.

“C’mon, Paul.” She stands up and takes his hand. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

She moves toward the door, urging him forward, only to be jerked to a stop as he stays put. He looks a little distressed when she turns back to him, brows furrowed, almost like he’s in pain.

“Paul?”

He grunts, jaw clenched as the cogs turn in his head. Y/n cocks her head and reaches out for his other hand. It felt like some sort of supernatural intuition, one she’ll blame on the imprint and ask Emily about later.

“Paul, hon, why won’t you come shower?”

“I’m afraid you'll leave,” He says bashfully, “it’s stupid, I know, but part of me is afraid you’ll leave while I’m in the shower.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little heartbroken at his confession. Paul was part wolf, and part of being part wolf was imprinting— she almost wishes she’d have stayed long enough to listen, or been able to focus as the boys debriefed her on the ride over because only being able to speculate how much she’d actually hurt him was eating her alive. He wouldn’t even shower, something he desperately needed to do, because of what she’d said.

Taking a deep breath, she barely registers the words she’s about to say.

“I’ll wait with you, I’ll sit on the toilet, you’ll see me there.”

And true to her word, Y/n does sit on the toilet while Paul showers, reading the information on soap bottles to distract herself from the fact that he was there next to her, very naked. Occasionally he asks her what she’s doing, and she reads the ingredients out loud to the best of her ability, and he laughs a little— she tries to hide her smile, but she was too happy he was laughing.

She closes her eyes when he gets out, letting him dry himself off and pull on some clean shorts. He throws the wet towel at her when he’s done, eliciting a “Hey!” that makes him laugh again.

Now that he’s clean, the two of them descend into his quiet house. Y/n navigates the kitchen, her wolf attached to her hip and being less than helpful, and makes them both something to eat— he doesn’t do much more than stand behind her, wrapped around her, making her life more difficult.

“I’m so happy you came back.” He says, watching her work.

“I was always going to.” Y/n responds, her voice sure and steady.

They talk as they eat, sitting across from one another at the too big table in the Lahote household. Talk about how this was going to work, admitting feelings that always lingered, and everything in between; she hooks her leg around his, watching him scarf down his meal with a wrinkled nose and fondness glittering in her y/e/c eyes.

He’s...gross...but he’s hers, she’s kind of stuck with him.

A date is planned. An actual date.

Paul promises to take her to the local diner (and to wear a shirt, for once.)

“I’ve been saving up for something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you can get that dessert you like.”

Y/n laughs softly, but heat spreads up her neck and settles in her ears and cheeks. It’d been a long time since that had been her favorite food, but it was the thought that counted...

When Cyrus Lahote returns from work later that night his son and the Y/l/n girl are awkwardly situated on his couch— him on his back, snoring, her lying on top of him, face tucked into his neck, also fast asleep. The older man turns off the TV and tosses a blanket over the pair, ascending up the stairs with a smile on his face.

Y/n Y/l/n was trustworthy. She’s always there when Paul is in a rut too big for him to handle...

[wallyestwallyboi]

Say You Won't Let Go || S.H.

Paring: Steve Harrington x Reader (this is a modern au)

Warnings: might hurt your heart a little? Idk. If you have triggers with depression, maybe don't read this.

Request: literally no one asked me this, but this is for my friend Parker. Hope it cheers you up a little.

Tag list: @jxnehxpper @charmedtenderness @dungeons-and-demodogs

Prompts: “If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.” “Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.” “I’m here for you.”

Today.... could've been better. Nothing terrible happened per say, but it still felt awful. It was like every step was almost too much, or you could break apart any second now. You wanted nothing more than to sob until you physically couldn't anymore, but you also felt awful that you've done nothing but sit here in your room letting your mind fester by itself.

You couldn't talk to Steve because he was busy at work right now, and you didn't remember when he was off. You jumped when you heard the phone rang. You almost let it ring out, but decided to answer anyway. "Hello?" You asked.

You almost broke when you heard Steve's voice on the other end. "Hey, Princess. I just got home, I hope you had a good day." He said. You had to pause for a moment to keep your composure. Steve almost thought you had hung up or the line was disconnected. "Y-Yeah. Uh, it was fine." You answered hoarsely.

Steve's eyebrows furrowed together at your tone. It definitely worried him that you didn't sound like you normally did. "Hey, what's wrong, Princess?" He asked softly, trying to coax you to telling him what made you sound so hurt. It was his worry that finally broke you, you let out a choked sob as tears streamed down your face. "I-I'm sorry, Steve." You started, "Please, I need you."

"I'll be there in five minutes." He replied, then hung up, leaving a dead tone in your ear before you set the phone down, wiping your face fruitlessly. You didn't even notice the time passing before the doorbell rang.

You looked out the window and practically ran as you went to answer the door. As soon as it was open, you wrapped your arms desperately around his waist, burying your face into his chest. He didn't even hesitate to hold you close, his nose burying in your hair. "Hey, what's going on?"

You hiccuped a little as you looked up in his eyes. His heart broke a little at the expression. “If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.” He held you close to him, rubbing your back gently, shushing you. “I’m here for you.” He whispered, running his fingers through your hair. "It's okay." He pulled your face out and gave you a soft, sweet kiss, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. He pulled you inside and over to the couch, sitting down and pulling you with him. "Take a deep breath." He instructed.

You did as you were told, your tears slowly subsiding. Your breath evened and you eventually stopped crying. He offered you a small smile and took your hands, kissing your knuckles softly. "Good. Now tell me what's wrong." You sighed a little and nodded, scooting closer to him and resting your head on his shoulder. "I just.... I don't feel okay. Nothing bad happened, but I still feel like everything is awful." You said, looking away for a moment. "And I hate it. There was no reason for me to feel this way. It just happens."

Steve nodded a little as he listened, rubbing your back soothingly. "Well, I can't say I know how that feels, but I can say that no matter what, you have people who care about you. Me included. And if you ask, we will do anything to help you feel better. Because we love you. Because I love you." He said, kissing your temple. "You deserve so much more than you realize and I want you to be happy. Your smile just brightens the room." He continued.

You couldn't help the small blush on your face. Steve was always so upfront about these kinds of things and it still somehow surprised you. Steve hummed a bit. "Tell you what, I'll order us some food, and we'll watch whatever you want. You can tell me everything." He said, and you nodded a little, wanting to be held like this.

Steve smiled a bit and kissed her forehead, reaching into his pocket for his phone and switching it on. The first thing that popped up was his background. You widened your eyes a little to see you. “Am I your lockscreen?” You asked, slightly surprised. He blushed a little, clearing his throat. “...You weren’t supposed to see that.” He looked down at you sheepishly. "I just... I love seeing you. You're so beautiful and sometimes I just want to see you first thing in the morning even if you're not with me."

You blushed more, feeling your heart swell a little. You bit your lip as you smiled a little, letting out a soft giggle. He really did make you laugh whether it was intentional or not. He smiled a bit, glad it seemed to help even if it was a little embarrassing. "There's my girl." He said, giving you a soft kiss before opening his phone and looking for something to order.

He would always be there for you.

[versdan]

Saved (Carol Danvers x Reader)

Summary: Carol had just come back from space after two years up in space. You want to spend time with her and catch up but shes there on a mission. What will happen when another mission goes south? (idk how to come up with a summary lmao bare with me)

A/N: this was requested through pm and they would like to remain anonymous :) this is a huge boat load filled with prompts and angst filled! But it ends fluffy, I promise! It also is triggering, as it is under the cut so please read at your own discretion! I hope you guys enjoy & sorry for any typos! Requests are open!

pairings: Carol Danvers x Reader

prompts (will be bolded):

3. “Hold me”

5. “I can’t believe we’re arguing about this”

6. “Please don’t leave”

11. “Don’t look away from me!”

14. “I hate you”

18. “Don’t touch me!”

19. “I missed you”

20. “You’re driving me crazy!”

23. “Please forgive me!”

24. “I gave you my heart and you broke it”

30. “The moment I kissed you, I knew I was in love”

Warnings!: Mentions of depression, self-harm and suicide. Please read at your own risk! I’ll place a mark where it begins and ends, since it’s pretty detailed

Word Count: 2.8k

italics are flashbacks

———

You missed her. Everything about her. Carol was the one person who would help you in times of needs like these. Before you were recruited on the Avengers or even met Carol, you life wasn’t the best. You were moving from orphanage to orphanage, with little of your own personal belongings that people at school would make fun of you for wearing the same outfits repeatedly.

Once you were over the age of 18, they wouldn’t let you stay at orphanages anymore so you lived in the street for a couple years, moving again from shelter to shelter, getting robbed of what you did have.

Some days you just felt like it was time to leave. Time to just let go of everything, end it all and just feel nothing for once. But it all changed when you were scouted by an agent who saw you beating up a small group of kids who were trying to take the change you had on you.

After that scouting, your life did slightly change for the better. You finally had a stable place to stay, food on the table and people to talk to. But then after the traumatic past you’ve had, you hand been diagnosed with depression and that only made you feel as if you were back at square one. The little nobody that everyone didn’t like. You were never able to open up to anyone on the team, feeling as if you shouldn’t bother anyone with your problems. Until you met Carol.

The day you met Carol is when things truly started to look up. You felt as if you could confide in her the most. She would never judge anything you told her and would just listen to you go on about whatever was on your mind. Carol soon began to grow fond of you as you were growing fond of her as well. You trusted her more than anyone on the team, even after getting to know them. You felt lost whenever Carol wasn’t around, which was most of the time.

Carol had been gone for two years now, and all you could do was wait for her. You never knew when she was going to come back that only broke your heart more to be farther away from her.

“I’ll only be gone for a couple of months, babe” Carol started, pulling her jacket tighter around her before smiling at you, “and then I’ll be back to kiss your pretty face”

You frowned, as she pecked your lips softly. You pulled her in for a hug, holding her tight, not knowing truly when she’ll be back.

“Please don’t leave, Carol. What am I gonna do without my awesome stargirl?” You asked, still frowning.

Carol chuckled a bit at the nickname. “I have to, babe. They need me out there. Besides, I’ll be back before you know it, okay?” She said, placing her hand softly on your cheek as you leaned into her touch.

Carol placed a kiss on your forehead before heading to the door. She turned to look at you before smiling.

“I love you” she said, before walking out the door, closing it behind her. You walked over to the window, holding onto your necklace that Carol had given you when you guys started dating. You watched her blast off into the night sky sighing.

“I love you too” you whispered, feeling tears well up slightly in your eyes.

You sighed at the memory, waiting everyday to hear from the team that Carol was back. You clutched onto the necklace again, placing a small kiss onto the pendant before placing it around your neck.

You heard F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice go off in your room.

“Ms. (Y/L/N), Steve has requested you in the debriefing room. He says it is urgent” the system spoke as you stood up, walking at a fast pace to room after saying thank you to the system.

Once you reached the debriefing room, they were going over two bases that we had to cover. You looked around the room and spotted someone who you never thought you’d see in a million years. Carol was standing there, fists by her side, staring straight at the screen and nodding when Steve would say who’s responsible for what. A smile grew in your face, but you wanted to contain your excitement until after the debriefing.

She never turned to look at you nor let you know that she was coming in, which you thought was a bit odd. Every other time she was coming, she would come and see you first or let the others know to tell you. You felt a small ache in your heart but let it slide for now.

After the debriefing, Steve said that you all would be leaving in 10, you walked up to Carol with a beaming smile on your face, pulling her in for a hug. “I missed you” you told her. She returned it slightly, as you felt an awkward tensions between you two.

You pulled back and looked at her odd. “Is something the matter?” You chuckled, trying to study her facial expression.

Carol sighed, looking down that floor before looking back up at you. “(Y/N), I know you missed me and I missed you loads too but” she paused, taking a breath. “I’m here for this mission, I have to get this information and I can’t afford to be distracted right now, I’m really sorry” Carol said, taking your hand in here before she began to walk off.

You scoffed slightly, feeling the full pang in your chest. You turned to watch her walk off before following behind her.

“Distraction huh? Well I never found you a distraction when I was trying to focus on my mission” you shit back at her. The comment made her halt and turn back to you as she squinted her eyes.

“I’m sorry?” She said, looking at you, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You heard me loud and clear, Danvers. I have a right to want to be able to spend time with you after you being gone for more than expected” you said, standing your ground. A pit in your stomach started to form in your stomach, almost urging you to shut up but you kept going.

“I can’t believe we’re arguing about this” Carol scoffed, looking away before turning back to you. “You’re right, it’s wrong for me to act this way but the world is almost gone! I told you what this relationship would be like and you accepted it for what it is!” Carol spit back, raising her voice a bit. The rest of the team had gathered around slightly watching the interaction between the both of you.

“I went through hell Carol. Two years too fucking long! Do you know the shit I had to go through without you here?” You told Carol, feeling the pit in your stomach grow larger.

“Yeah well what about me! Huh?! What do you think I went through? You think I enjoyed being away??” She yelled at you which only made you grow even more furious.

“I needed you! I really did! I needed you when I couldn’t tell anyone else what was happening but when I called or paged, you never came! You never answered!” You yelled back, feeling tears welt up in your eyes. Carol looked away and towards the other people on the team, who’s eyes were wide looking at both of you.

“Don’t look away from me!” You said strongly, which only made Carol snap her eyes back at you, angrily.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so goddamn dependent on me for once in your life!” Carol yelled back, which made you snap out of your anger haze and look at her.

You stood there in silence as you tried to wrap your head around what just happened. You didn’t know what to feel. Everything came crashing down at you all at once. Anger, sadness, guilt. It all rushed into your system and you felt numb.

You looked at Carol, a tear slipping down your eye. “I hate you” you said, before turning around and walking fast towards the stairs to go to your room. Carol ran up behind you, grabbing your wrist to which you pulled your arm back quick away from her reach.

“Don’t touch me, Carol! I gave you my heart and you broke it!” You yelled at her as you stomped up the stairs and into the hallway to your room, slamming the door loud enough for everyone to hear. Carol turned slowly to the team who looked at her wide eyed.

“What the fuck just happened?” Tony asked, looking between Carol and everyone while Carol let out a sigh, walking outside.

-

All you felt was guilt. You were curled up on your bed, crying your eyes out after what just happened. You knew you were the reason all this went down. Had you just listened to your gut, you wouldn’t feel so bad about what words were exchanged.

Carol was right. You depend on her so much. And that’s the problem. All you wanted her to do was to spend time with you and you didn’t realize you were taking away from her job you knew she cared for. It’s all your fault, everything you do. You pushed Carol to her breaking point, and truth fucking hurts like hell.

You sat up in your bed, peering at your bedside table, wanting to not think about the urge. Your wrists itches for the feeling and the craving only intensified when you reached in and grabbed the razor from the drawer.

You walk over to your small bathroom and sit on the floor. Crying harder, you felt as if you shouldn’t be doing this but the other part of you knew you should.

Moving your long sleeves up your arm, you see all the faded scars that were on your wrist that made its way down. You only cried harder as you remember when Carol found out about your bad habit, as you would say.

-

Carol picked up you arm and placed a kiss on top of the faded and new scars that covers your arm.

You hissed when she touched the tender skin of the freshly opened ones that she had caught you doing, a tear slipping down your face.

“No matter what you think about these” Carol said, placing another kiss on a scar before looking up at you. “I’m always going to think you are beautiful” she spoke softly, moving a strand away from your face and wiping a tear.

“I’m sorry Carol” you sobbed and she frowned, pulling you into her for an embrace.

“It’s alright baby. I’m gonna help you get through this. One step at a time” she rubbed your back as you cried into her shoulder.

-

*self harm part starts now*

You looked down at your arm, holding the razor over it with your other hand. Tears streamed down your face as you placed the blade against your skin, dragging it deep that you hissed when you felt the cool air hit the open wound.

Blood poured out of the wound as you pulled back the razor, muttering curse words under your breath as you realize you had cut too deep. Too much blood was coming out then you had expected and you began to panic.

“Oh no, no, no, no” you muttered, crying harder trying to apply pressure but feeling weak when you began to.

*self harm part ends*

To your unknowing, F.R.I.D.A.Y had notified Carol who was in the living room that something was wrong and a bad feeling sinked into her gut. She ran up the stairs and to your room, catching Tony and Steve’s attention from seeing Carol rush so quickly, going after her.

Carol pushed the door open to your room, turning to see you sitting on the bathroom floor, with blood coming down your arm and her eyes went wide.

“No, no, no. (Y/N). Stay with me” she said, rushing over to you, placing you in her arms and applying pressure to your arm. You winced at the pressure, waking you up a bit from the weak state you were in.

You looked up at Carol and frowned. “I’m sorry Carol. I’m so sorry” you breathed out, feeling the tears fall down your face as you started to feel your eyelids grow heavy.

“No, you’re not leaving me (Y/N). Not here not now. Come on, stay with me” Carol said, tears falling down her face as she tapped your cheek to help keep you awake.

“Oh shit” Tony said, looking at the scene infront of him as Carol turned around to look at him.

“GET A MEDIC OR SOMETHING PLEASE” she yelled at Tony, who immediately snapped out of his trance and ran to gather first aid materials.

She turned back to you as you were slipping into unconsciousness. “Fuck” she said, making the last minute decision to pick you up, making you whimper at the sudden movement, giving her heart a little hope that you were still with her.

“Hang on, (Y/N). I’m going to save you” Carol told you, before blasting off out into the world, towards a nearby hospital and that was the last thing you remember before knocking out unconscious.

-

When you came to, you noticed you were in the hospital. You tried to raise your arm but then felt the amount of soreness it was in. You looked down at your wrist, seeing the white bandage around it. You touched the wrapping with your other fingers and frowned.

Looking around the room, you saw Carol sleeping in the chair next to your bed. She looked so peaceful and you missed seeing her so calm and not worried about anything.

“Carol?” You croaked out, your throat feeling a bit dry. Carols eyes opened slightly, looking at you but then became alert when she saw you awake.

“Oh my god, (Y/N)” she said, standing up and engulfing your laying figure into a hug, placing a kiss onto your cheek when she pulled back.

“I’m sorry” you told her, picking up your other hand without the bandage, to place on her cheek. She nodded her head side to side, closing her eyes and placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Im sorry too. For everything” she said, pulling back and looking at you.

“Forgive me, please. I feel so guilty I pushed you to this point and I just couldn’t deal with it and-“ you started but she shushed you to which you stopped talking.

“It’s okay. You’re alright. We’re gonna be alright babe. Don’t do this again please. I don’t want to lose you” she said, tears welling up in her eyes before she pressed her lips against yours.

You felt at peace with everything after feeling her lips on yours. It was almost as if you both were at bliss after being apart for so long.

Carol pulled away, smiling before sitting back down and grabbing your hand.

“So, whats been going on?” She smiled brightly at you as you smiled back, beginning to talk about what you both had missed.

-

“Okay so guess what pet I’m considering getting?” You told Carol who was still laughing at a joke you had said.

“Mmm, a rat” she chuckled at you rolled your eyes.

“No, bigger” you smirked at her as she started to think.

“An ostrich?” She said, raising her eyebrow as you laughed at her guess

“Okay, WAY smaller” you giggled. She laughed, giving up on her guesses

“Okay, I give up, just tell me” she told you as you shook your head.

“Nope! You’ve gotta guess!” You told her, smiling. She looked at you in disbelief.

“You’re driving me crazy! What a tease!” She laughed as you laughed with her.

“Okay, okay! I might get a cat” you told her smiling as you looked at you, surprised.

“I thought you didn’t like goose”

“I want a regular cat, not a mutant cat” you joked with her as she chuckled before going silent and stared at you.

You laughed at the thought before looking at Carol. You froze up, a bit nervous as to why she was looking at you.

“What’s wrong?” You asked her, worried that something bad was going to be said.

“Nothing. I just” she stopped, looking down before looking back up at you, smiling. “I love you”

You smiled softly, sitting up at bit a looking at her. “And I love you Carol, more than anything”

Carol leaned over the bed, pecking your lips before pulling back, and smiling.

“The moment I first kissed you, I knew I was in love” she said, before engulfing you in a hug to which you returned.

You pulled back from the embrace, placing your forehead against hers and smiling, closing your eyes.

“I love you, stargirl” you told her as she chuckled at the name. You knew you would have to talk to the rest of the team of the incident and what was the plan going forward but for now, all that mattered was that you were both together again. And stronger then ever.

———

feedback is appreciated!

Shiet, this is a LONG one

[obscurelocalstranger]

It's 4 am nearly 5 am forbidden thoughts therapy time.

So I have realized a thing. Idk why precisely I do it but I do this thing where, especially when I'm anxious or whatever, I like unintentionally say exactly too much about something? Like idk, specifically saying the wrong thing to a friend and then feeling worse about the thing and it's just a spiral of sorry I didn't mean to be a shitty friend. And I think maybe I do it like as that imposter syndrome anxiety thing, like the "hello pls notice that I am garbage and go away because I don't deserve friends" absolutely awful brain voice. Which is dumb rly b/c like obvs I don't want to not have friends.

I think too there's like for sure some kind of idk whatever atypicality brain thing where it's like also being overly honest. Like let me tell you this truth (or thing I think is true about me) and then see where we are and historically that has gone poorly. Like not on a level of fear of submission to being known thing, more like, just because a thing is true doesn't mean it's appropriate to ever say even if u think ur good enough friends with someone or like you try to say it like you're just talking but thinking about it, even sometimes immediately after the fact there's no way to make it not sound like ur just being shitty?

I'll give you an example. Like one year in college I roomed with 3 other girls and we were pretty close. I was closer with the suite mates than my actual roommate tho, right? So the three of us would hang out and my roommate would like idk go do whatever it is she did. Now at the time, I didn't know I was queer right, but like one of the suitemates and I fell into like a real easy friendship (I'd known her for 2 yrs previous but we weren't bffs or anything) and even other people were like "lol y'all are so married" and we kinda were? Like we made dinner together a couple times a week (she would call me at work like "I'm making x for dinner okay") and shared chores and sat around watching movies and just friend/roommate stuff rly but idk. It was nice. As an ace it was like idk 85% of what I would want in a relationship even tho I didn't think about it that way at the time. It was that queer friendship limbo thing or whatever that one post was saying. Like except she got engaged to a dude uh right after that and idk if she would call herself queer in any sense. But anyway, I'm rambling.

So we were having a rly nice comfortable time and this was before like my whole family started dying off so I didn't have all the weird grief depression but I was still an anxious bean and idk what prompted the convo but she says to me one day something about how we were friends from like the first day of college and I said yeah and she mentioned idk something and I jokingly? But like it was true but I didn't mean to hurt her feelings I don't think? Said like "well I'll be real I thought it was a little weird you would wait outside my dorm sometimes when I wasn't home" which like that is genuinely a weird thing she did, but it's also completely not a thing you say to someone. Idk. But yeah it's like I get to feeling safe and then I say some too far truth thing and it fucks up whatever the friendship was. Because honestly after that it went downhill and she just like distanced herself from me a lot which was awkward but like didn't flat out say anything and like I was still trying to be friends because I didn't entirely think I had done something wrong? I guess? Idk what I thought tbh but we were supposed to room together the next year and it got closer and closer to sign ups and she like kept ignoring me and then finally sent me a text saying she had found other roommates. Like we still lived together and she essentially sent me a breakup text! Like that's wild! I still can't believe that happened.

So yeah idk just thinking about that. Like idk how to not do those things. Like I have caught myself in the middle of doing it and still done it. Idk if social self harm is a thing but maybe it's like that. Like it's obvs not the same as physical harm (I've never felt the need to do that outside of like extreme nail biting which sounds like nothing but it's for sure like gotta be somewhere in that wheelhouse) and I don't mean that it is the same, I just meant like as far as where the mentality of it is coming from. Like there's the endorphins or high or whatever from the being honest on a thing but then like all the pain or regret or potential loss or dread of outcome to follow depending on how it gets taken. Maybe it's more a depression response than anxiety come to think of it. Or some weird combo. Idk man I'm just out here self analyzing with absolutely no background to know what I'm saying.

This is one of those "I am putting this out into the world so it's not just in my head" posts. Bless u if u read this, hope it wasn't triggering, let me know if I need to tag something

[toastingtotheghosts]

The Balcony Fic, 2/?

i have finished chapter two of my balcony fic! i may add a thrid chapter, but i don’t know, so tell me if you want me to. read it on ao3 here

people: tyler joseph/josh dun warnings: mentions of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and insomnia, slight anxiety attack/breakdown, idk what to call it based off of the balcony prompt

read under the cut and please leave feedback if you can 

Giving up on sleep, Tyler decided to go out onto his balcony. It wasn’t anything big or fancy - it was a small outside area with identical copies all around the apartment complex.

It always relaxed Tyler to look out at the stars, the universe. It used to scare him shitless, but he had found a way to twist his depression induced nihilism into something more optimistisc. He now saw the infinity of the universe as a blank piece of paper, waiting to be filled with the chicken-scratch lyrics and melodies of his life. The stars didn’t care that he didn’t go to college. The moon would never judge him for not being able to get out of bed when the depression settled heavy in his heart, dripped through his veins like liquid lead and rendered him unable to do much of anything. Tonight was one of the nights Tyler found comfort in the night sky splayed out before him. After a minute, he reached for his phone to put on music. With the click of a button, he leaned back in his chair and let the music wash over him.

———————

As Josh rubbed his bleary eyes, he debated between staying in his apartement or going outside to his balcony. After a moment’s consideration, he decided to go to the slab of concrete outside his back door someone decided to call a balcony. He only hoped there were a great number of stars out tonight.

It always terrified Josh to look out at the stars, the universe. It scared him shitless that there was so much unknown, so many questions that would likely never get answered. If ever star would eventually explode, what was the point of anything? How could he function knowing how insignificant he truly was?

As Josh stood by his back door, hand on the handle, he heard music coming from outside. He knew he had a neighbor, one that he shared his balcony with, but the two had never met. Josh’s anxiety spiked for a moment before recognizing the music.

Death Cab, Josh thought. He’s playing Death Cab. Without a second thought, Josh walked out to the balcony.

Love of mine, someday you will die

“I love that song,” Josh said, looking at his neighbor for the first time. Josh was fascinated by this boy. This brown haired, soft eyed, skinny boy with bags under his eyes fit to rival Josh’s.

“So do I,” Tyler responded, drinking in the sight of the man who had lived just a wall away this whole tune. This man, with bright blue hair and tattos and bones jutting out and shadows under his eyes that explained why he was on his balcony at two in the morning.

But I'll be close behind and I'll follow you into the dark

“I’m Tyler,” he said standing up and walking towards his neighbor with his hand outstretched.

“Josh,” the man replied, running one hand through his blueberry hair and allowing the other to shake Tyler’s.

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white

“So, Josh,” Tyler asked, “what brings you outside when almost everyone else is asleep?”

Josh shoved his hands into his sweatshirt pocket to keep from fidgeting and twitching. “I usually work the night shift at the hospital, but I’m...” Josh paused as he searched for the right words to say. “Not going in for a few days.

Tyler nodded. “That explains why I’ve never seen you. I work days at the record shop down the corner.”

Josh relaxed a bit when Tyler mentioned the record store. Any man that liked Death Cab and chose to be surrounded by music couldn’t be too bad. “What kind of music do you like? Besides Death Cab.”

Tyler could see the hint of a smile as Josh asked And Tyler knew that, more than anything, he wanted to make Josh smile more. “I’m not too picky, but mainly indie stuff. Although I don’t think I ever quite grew out of my emo phase . . .”

Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark

The better part of an hour passed before the two boys turned the conversation away from music. The likely would have kept talking about their favorite bands and video game soundtracks until dawn if not for Tyler asking “so what do you do at the hospital?”

Josh swallowed the lump in his throat and prayed his heart wouldn’t leap out of his chest. “I’m a therapist. I mainly work with teenagers with anxiety, depression, or eating disorders.”

Tyler was even more drawn to Josh now that he knew he wouldn’t get called a freak or lazy any time he had a bad day. “That’s really interesting. Isn’t it difficult sometimes? That kind of work has to be taxing.”

Tyler could see the hesitation in Josh’s face, eyebrows furrowed as he struggled to find the right words.

“It...can be tricky at times. It’s hard, seeing so many kids struggling and not always being able to help as much as you want. I don’t know if it’s harder or easier because I understand what they’re going through. I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid, and...” Josh clenched his hands into fists and began to shake slightly. His bad thoughts, anxieties, all of his underlying panic was now surfacing.

Without thinking, Tyler reached out and put his hands over the shaking man’s. “Hey. It’s okay. You’re okay. Just breathe.” Josh took a few shaky breaths in and nodded.

“Thank you. I’m sorry. This is stupid. I’m stupid.” Josh looked down, shame visible in his eyes.

“It’s not. You’re not stupid. It’s okay. I know what it’s like. I’m not exactly perfect in the mental stability department, either. I’ve had depression since I was twelve, and I’ve had my fair share of anxiety attacks, too. I’m here for you. It’s okay.” Tyler leaned forward and wrapped the quaking boy in his arms. “I’m here.”

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied And illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

Josh held on to Tyler, who gently rubbed his back.

“It’s okay. Just let go.”

Josh let out a sob. It had been so long since anyone had made an effort to comfort him. He knew it was pathetic to be breaking down in front of this man who was basicaly a stranger, but Josh was past the point of caring. Tyler was kind and Josh needed as much kindness as he could get, considering his own mind had the cruel temperament of a high school bully.

He wasn’t sure just how much time passed before he untangled himself from Tyler’s arms. “Thank you, Tyler.”

Tyler let out a slight smile. “Any time, Jish.”

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks

“I know what it’s like to feel alone. I know how bad it is. I don’t want you to feel like that again, okay? I’m here.” Tyler stared into Josh’s eyes.

The two boys talked until the sun broke through the darkness. They talked their pasts, their issues, their hopes, their dreams. And even with the massive sky spread out above them, a cloak of darkness with glowing white pinholes, they didn’t feel alone even once.

Then I'll follow you into the dark

[sweetnestor]

12 Days | Chapter 9.2

Two guys that lowkey hate each other are forced to walk in each other’s shoes in order to learn a lesson.

***in collaboration with @themarkiplierexperience

lmao soz its not actually x reader we’re just desperate for attention haaaa

previous

“Okay, hear me out,” Tom prompted, sitting up on the couch with Bella. “If you ran into your celebrity crush in public, and I gave you my blessing… would you go for it?”

Neither of them remembered how they got to this conversation. They had properly discussed the Mark situation, which Bella apologized profusely for. She claimed it was an impulsive thought and couldn’t stop herself from saying it. Tom, being the compassionate and wonderful boyfriend he is, reassured her that everything was okay. He didn’t tell her about the angry texts he had exchanged with the man, though. That was best kept under wraps.

Now that they had changed topics, Tom was immensely curious when he heard that he was in fact Bella’s current celebrity crush. Of course, he heard that from Ethan, and from stalking Bella’s channel a little bit more. He just had to hear it from Bella herself, for validation, if you will. A girl as attractive as her, crushing on Tom? He couldn’t help but feel a little smug.

“Well, I mean…” she trailed off in thought. “I don’t know. Call me cheesy, but I only want you.”

Fucking hell, Ethan was lucky.

“Aww, babe,” Tom said as he stroked Bella’s hair before resting his arm around her shoulders. “But seriously. Who’s the celebrity you’re always talking about? That one guy… or girl, you know. You like him… or her, a lot.”

She hummed to herself. “See now I have a list of people running through my head.”

That was intriguing to say the least. Tom scooted a little closer. He wasn’t sure why he was hoping for her to say his name. Maybe then he could stick it to Ethan.

“I mean you’ve been invested with the new Spider-Man,” he nonchalantly added, feeling a little full of himself.

“Yeah, but there’s like ten other people I’d pick before Tom Holland.”

Oh.

“Like who?” he asked, trying to act like his ego wasn’t bruised.

“Perrie Edwards,” Bella said confidently. “She’s definitely my free pass, even though she’s probably straight. I’m sure she’d be down for an experiment.”

“Oh, yeah?” The name was familiar, but he needed visuals. “What’s this Perrie person look like again?”

She simply picked up her phone and unlocked it, showing Tom an extremely beautiful blonde woman on her home screen. He couldn’t complain about that choice, and nor could Ethan if he knew how to recognize a hot girl. He has Bella, after all.

“Either her or Demi Lovato,” she continued as she put her phone down. “But if we’re talking about the Spider-Man cast, then I’d pick Zendaya over Tom. Or maybe both at the same time. Bisexual goals, am I right?”

He was smiling because he was slightly annoyed. Even if it was all completely hypothetical, Tom felt a small rage in his chest. No. No one gets a night with Zendaya except him. As hot as Bella was, she wasn’t allowed to be near Zendaya either. It even made Tom angry that Ethan was getting to talk to her. She even had her hands on Tom’s body, granted it was for a minute or so, but it was Ethan who got to experience it. Why did it make Tom so… jealous?

“You know I love you, though,” Bella said after some silence. She kissed Tom’s cheek and rested her head on her shoulder. “I wouldn’t pick anyone else over you.”

Two could play at this game. He had his lovely girlfriend here after all.

“I love you too,” Tom told her as he squeezed her shoulders. “And you really better not pick anyone else over me…”

“I’d never.”

Was it cheating if she didn’t know who she was really kissing? Tom nudged her so she could look at him. He put on his best “I’m totally in love with you” eyes, like Peter Parker looking at Liz Allan. Except it was with Ethan’s face, but it reeled Bella in just as well. He stroked the side of her face with his free hand, looking into her pretty brown eyes. She really was beautiful. Ethan was really fucking lucky.

Not wasting anymore time, Tom leaned in and kissed her. In the last few days, he hadn’t properly made out with her, and he was pleasantly surprised. He didn’t want to stop anytime soon, not with a girl like her.

Bella’s fingers ran through his hair, pulling him in closer. All this time without any intimacy must have been frustrating. Tom gently lied her down across the sofa, hovering over her, but suddenly her hands went to his shoulders and pushed him back.

She took a deep breath, looking windswept. “Um… is the hiatus over?”

“What?” he breathed out, put off that the fun was interrupted.

“Are you actually into this?” she asked. “Or are you trying to distract yourself from… whatever’s been going on with you?”

Tom sat back, averting eye contact. Bella sat up as well, watching him.

“You can talk to me, Ethan,” she reassured as she took his hand.

Ethan. The real boyfriend. The person she thought she was talking to. The person Tom made a deal with.

“Distractions,” he said at last, looking down at their hands. His stomach turned at the sight of the scars on Bella’s wrist, and let go of her hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s okay,” she soothed.

Time to ham it up.

“I’m just… I feel like I’m losing control,” he told her, although it was slightly astonishing how much truth there actually was to that. “I can’t do anything right. I think I’ve lost myself somehow… Or, I just want to be somebody else. I don’t want it to always be like this.”

Okay, all of that was true. He was thinking of Ethan and the eventual switch back. Say they manage to pull that off, would Tom continue to be the person he was before? Being spread way too thin, with no time for family or Zendaya? He missed everything he had before, surely he wouldn’t take it for granted when things were back to normal.

“You feel… depressed?” Bella guessed, and Tom nodded. “I know what you’re going through. It’s like you told me, it’s not always going to be like this. And in order to change, you have to want that change, or else it’s always gonna be the same.”

Seems like they knew what to say to each other. This couple knew how to communicate and how to pick each other back up. How did they do that without wanting to rip each other’s heads off? Tom couldn’t listen to Zendaya without getting really, irrationally angry at her, and he didn’t know why. He felt a lot of things for her though, he just couldn’t word any of it, and it made him angry.

“I think…” he trailed off. “I think I have more feelings than I know what to do with.”

Bella nodded in agreement. “That makes two of us. It makes the shitty things pretty shitty, but the good things are even better. You just have to embrace the good.”

Why didn’t Tom have a friend like this in his other life? What would Harrison have told him? Probably would have given him a pint and called it a day.

When he didn’t have anything else to say, Bella continued on.

“You know what I got today?”

“Hm?”

She smiled and took the case off her phone, and pulled out a small, red coin from the inside. She put the coin in his hand, and he got a look at it.

“To thine own self be true,” it read around the edges. In the middle there was a number in a triangle. “1 month recovery.”

Well, that was something Tom never would have guessed about her. How could such a pretty face have a background like this? Then again, she had what could only be seen as self harm scars on her body…

“It’s actual proof that things can change,” she told him. “I was such a mess last month… and the month before. And especially at the beginning of this year. But I’ve turned things around, and you definitely can too. And I’m here for you. Okay?”

Tom was still looking at the coin in his hand, masking his shock. But he finally looked at her and nodded. “Thank you, love.”

~

He went home after Bella had fallen asleep. She sleeps a lot. After that short, but incredibly greedy make out, Tom couldn’t find it in himself to play the role of the boyfriend for any longer. That, and Ethan’s friend Andrew (a different one from the Wowie video - he knew like three of them) had texted him about a podcast they had to record. Seemed easy enough, and it was a good excuse to get away from Bella. He sat at the breakfast bar with a bowl of mac and cheese (that was all Ethan had to eat around here) and was typing on his phone.

“First of all, congratulations on your freaking amazing relationship. I had a little chat with bella about depression (her and all your friends think you’re depressed btw) and she really knew what to say. Idk how you guys do it. Secondly, i didn’t know she was an alcoholic. She showed me her very first sobriety chip and was really proud that she made it a month without drinking. Thought I should let you know, she seems pretty happy with herself.”

After sending that, Tom looked through the messages he exchanged with Mark yesterday. He cringed at all that went down, but he was relieved that no one had gotten fired. He wouldn’t know what he would have done if it happened. What would Sonji have done?

Thinking of the psychic lady prompted Tom to tell Ethan what had happened. Sonji probably would have slapped Tom with a lightning bolt from the sky if he kept it to himself any longer.

“Alsoisentanangrytexttomarkyesterdayandnowhesreallymadatmeoryouoridkanywaygn” There, that should do it. He also added screenshots for some context, but he didn’t mention that Bella was thinking about the breakup with Mark.

Fifteen minutes later, Ethan replied.

“You did what now”

_______

tag list: @beardedsteveslut @marie-is-in-the-dark @ohsnapitzmoony

_______

next

[marmelade-sky]

hey pal! idk if you're still taking prompts but if you still are, could we please have some renison + a relaxing bath? thank you and have a great day!

hey ♥ so… sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long. I have actual depression and as some of you may know, it fucking sucks and sometimes just doesn’t let you do many things you actually want to do. But yeah. Here I am. It turned out a tiny little smutty as well, but more like…. fluffy smutty. You guys know how I am xD so be warned: slightly nsfw @221-bakadoll

Send me some spoooooooopy prompts for Halloween? (aftg and trc!)

EDIT: nope, not just slightly nsfw. well, if you want to keep it kind of clean (safe for nudity), then just read until the cut. the real nsfw starts under the cut because let’s face it, the world needs more femslash.

read the full nsfw version here.

The bath tub is already running when Renee comes home from sparring with Andrew. 

“Alli?” She calls into the dorm while she takes off her boots and puts them neatly on the shoe mat next to the door. 

“In here!”, Allison calls from the bathroom. “…come on in!” 

Renee smiles to herself and does as she’s been told, making her way to the bathroom while pulling the hairtie out of her hair. It’s damp from her sweat and cold from the freezing temperature outside. She opens the bathroom door, and finds Allison in the middle of a cloud of rose-scented steam. She’s naked already. Renee’s smile brightens. 

“Hello.”

“Hi.” Allison turns around to her with a grin. “Up for a little bath? I thought you might want to warm up.” 

“That’s very nice of you.”, Renee says warmly and closes the gap between them with one big step. She wraps her arms around Allison, whose skin is warm and soft. 

Allison lovingly lifts her hand and runs the pad of her thumb gently over a bruise which is forming on Renee’s cheekbone. “Fucker.”, she growls lowly, and Renee knows she means Andrew. Allison hates it when he gives her bruises when they’re sparring. “…hope you kicked his ass.”

Renee laughs and idly kisses Allison’s collar bone. Allison slightly arches up into the touch. Renee dips her head and catches her lips in a kiss that makes Allison quickly forget about the bruise.

When the bathtub is filled, Allison takes a step back. Renee watches her breasts jiggle as she does. 

“You first. I’ll sit between your legs.”, Allison orders. 

Renee discards her shirt, sports bra, leggings and woolen socks, and then climbs into the tub. The warm water feels scalding on her cold calves, covering her whole body in goosebumps. She hums, closing her eyes. “This is nice.”

“Right?” Allison sounds very pleased with herself as she waits for Renee to climb into the tub, and then follows. Renee parts her legs so Allison can sit in front of her and lean back against her. She, too, groans a little when she’s lowered herself completely into the water. Renee wraps her arms around her from behind.  Allison has tied her long hair into a bun on top of her head, and Renee has to push it to the side a little so it doesn’t tickle her nose. They settle in just fine, and Renee lets the hot water soothe her strained and cold muscles. 

Allison is quiet, and eventually leans back, putting her head on Renee’s shoulder. “Do you like the surprise?”, she asks, her voice small, how it only becomes when they’re alone with each other. 

“Very much. Thank you, it was a nice idea.”, Renee replies in a quiet, loving voice and then turns her head to the side and kisses Allison. 

They soak and kiss, kiss and soak. Renee can feel herself relax, her shoulders and neck unlock. Allison is soft between her legs, and the sensation of feeling her pressed against her is enticing. 

The next time they kiss, Allison lets out a little noise, not quite a moan, more like a happy little sigh which makes Renee smile and also tingle. 

She slowly drags her hands upwards over Allison’s toned stomach until they reach her breasts and cup them. Allison lets out another one of those nice noises. 

Renee watches with a little smile as Allison closes her eyes, head still on Renee’s shoulder, and smiles, too. 

Renee gently starts thumbing over Allison’s nipples, making her squirm just the slightest bit. The space in the bathtub is rather narrow, but they make due. 

Allison’s legs fall open easily, and her breath speeds up when Renee starts tugging on her nipples. The flesh of them is flushing a deep, lovely shade of pink. It’s one of Renee’s favourite colors. 

“Re…”, Allison whispers pleadingly, and Renee’s smiles broades. 

“What do you need, love?”, she asks quietly. Allison squirms some more, and then she lifts her leg, putting it on the rim of the bathtub, and then grabs one of Renee’s hands and pushes it between her legs.

Renee chuckles, but complies. With her left hand, she keeps playing with Allison’s nipples while her right hand slowly starts rubbing between Allison’s legs.

She can feel Allison’s wetness, diluted by the water, but clearly there. She dips her finger into it, making Allison moan softly, and then holds her open with her index finger and ring finger, crooking her middle finger to slowly stroke over Allison’s clit. 

“Fuck, Re…”, Allison breathes, and her hips are upwards, into Renee’s hand. 

“Is that what you need, love?”, Renee asks her as she watches Allison’s beautiful body move in the rythm of her strokes. 

“Uh-huh…” Allison sounds angelic. 

Renee doesn’t do a lot. She keeps the movement steady, the pressure right and keeps her other hand busy. She can feel Allison quiver, her breath becoming faster and shallow after a while. Renee herself can feel her body respond enthusiastically. 

“I-I’m gonna-” Allison moans. The moan turns into a defiant whine when Renee suddenly pulls her hand away, but is quickly silenced with a kiss. 

“Sit on the edge of the tub.” 

Renee helps her sit up, and when they’ve rearranged themselves accordingly, Renee watches Allison spread her leg, opening up like a beautiful flower. She’s glistening wet, not just from the bath. Her whole body is flushed from the water, and it just adds to her beautiful glow. 

Renee kneels between Allison’s legs now, still in the water, and puts one hand on her thigh. With a glance upwards to make sure Allison is okay, she lets her other hand trail over Allison’s other thigh, inward, until she reaches her pussy again. Allison throws her head back with a moan when Renee’s fingers trail over her clit. “Oh, gosh-” Renee loves that Allison refrains from using the Lord’s name in situations like this one. 

“M-more, please-”, Allison begs now, and Renee uses her other hand, too, spreading Allison open, pulling back the hood of her clit. The little bud is flushed read and twitches a little when Renee teases it with the tip of her finger. Allison moans, and wetness drips down from her and into the water. 

Renee keeps using only the tip of her finger, and it pleases her deeply that she can make Allison moan and whimper and rock her hips like this. 

She can see her twitch now, her muscles tightening, and she knows Allison is close. “Do you want to come, baby?” 

“Yes!”, Allison moans, and it’s loud and breathless and wonderful.

“Come for me, then.”, Renee encourages her, her voice rather breathless as well, and Allison does, moaning, muscles spasming. Renee can see her contract an it’s the hottest thing ever. 

Afterwards, Allison slumps into the bathtub. 

“That was hot.”, she whispers, head leaning against Renee’s shoulders again. 

“Yes.”, Renee agrees, smiling, “…nice surprise.”

“Indeed.”

[frenchibi]

WIP tag

I was tagged by @paintbrushyy to talk about my WIPs, and because I am a responsible adult and not prone to escapism, I am not doing this now to avoid the disaster that my life is right now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If any of these interests you - let me know and I’ll jump on it :’) I’m very easily influenced by enthusiasm these days. (I mean it)

WIPs that are partially posted:

IwaOi Week 2017. I know I’m late to finish days 6 and 7 but. It is happening. I have ideas. I will finish this goddamn project. Day 6 is a Fairy Tale inspired thing (not literally though) and probably has boys in dresses and skirts because FIGHT ME and Day 7 is for the prompt Goodbyes, it has parental divorce and thunderstorms and soft confessions.

Drag me ‘Round (Kicking and Screaming): has 3/5 chapters up – Oikawa shrinks; based on art by @yaboykeiji. This might get a sequel, I have ideas.

Until It Breaks: 1/3 (or 4) chapters up -  it’s a MatsuHana and IwaOi fic, College AU, past unrequited MatsuIwa – the boys have Issues and need to Talk about them. Involves drunk upset Makki and soft background IwaOi.

Look To The Sky: 3/4 chapters up, based on Amanda Marshall’s Cross My Heart – one possible story of iwaoi’s lives, from childhood to college. Includes so much fluff you will choke (and a marriage proposal) but also angst and long-distance and… yeah.

The Play: 1/4 chapters up – The volleyball club of Aoba Johsai has the privilege (Oikawa) or obligation (everyone else) to perform a play at the cultural festival. A romantic play, of course, because there’s nothing as engaging as romance! Includes boys in dresses, sneaky or not-so-sneaky plans, and a very exasperated Iwaizumi.  

Ignite The Sky: 2/possibly 50 chapters up – gigantic iwaoi Dragon AU with @josai that I sincerely hope you are just as excited for as I am.

 Other ideas:

IwaOi Sisters AU: I have been sitting on this idea for almost a year and I cannot wait to write it out. Iwa with a gigantic family – six sisters (!) and the story of Oikawa re-meeting his family after he goes from best friend to boyfriend. A story about family and acceptance and the bonds between all of these characters. I have a lot of feelings about my OCs for this fic and if I’m lucky I made @shouyouohno excited enough to even give one of them a spinoff :0

A birthday fic (iwaoi) for my dear friend @joanofarcticmonkeys that she sort-of requested and that got WAY out of hand  (and is super late oh my god I’m so sorry) – includes biracial Iwa-chan and pining Oikawa and a misunderstanding that leads to pain. And ultimately fluff. xD

A Room With New Colors: Delinquent Iwa and Good Kid Oikawa, this is pretty dark in parts, there’s abuse and homophobia and haphephobia and a lot of… healing. Probably slow burn, and it might take me a while to write.

The Roof: iwaoi. They’ve moved to Tokyo and things should be going great, right? Right? So why is there this distance between them that Tooru finds so suffocating? He starts escaping their shared bed and the warmth of Iwaizumi’s arms to spend his nights on the roof of their 8-story apartment building, staring at the stars and looking for answers. Could possibly be triggering – but there’s a happy end, because COME ON.

Another depression fic with long-distance iwaoi because I have too many feelings and nowhere to put them.

A continuation for Born For Glory (I’m struggling with the style) that might turn into something heavily inspired by @amalasdraws’ roadtrip AU

So. Much. HP AU. You guys don’t even know. One version has legilimens!Iwa and that’s all I have to say about that.

“Do you like me” – soft iwaoi fluff with slightly insecure Oikawa & lots of reassurance.

An iwaoi medieval AU with @josai – I dragged her into this but I am hyped; instead of the usual king/guard romance thing, here we have IwaOi both as royal guards for the king – this’ll be nsfw and involve, uh, kind of shady consent and Iwa and Oikawa with other parties because RULES and medieval society and apparently I love pain (with happy endings)

Iwaoi Spirit AU: There’s a monster under little Oikawa’s bed – but maybe he’s just lost. Kind of slow burn (?) depending on how detailed I wanna write this.

Hit it until it breaks: The story behind Oikawa’s favorite quote (inspired by a gifset and the thought: what if Oikawa likes that quote so much because it reminds him of Iwaizumi…?)

Siren!Oikawa: What the title implies – but we’re talking dangerous, poisonous siren Oikawa and human Iwa, who finds him while he’s injured, and therefore gets spared – but he can’t leave, either, he knows too much now. And is it a coincidence that Oikawa shares his name with a boy Hajime used to know…?

Iwaoi Soulmates AU: where what your soulmate thinks of you appears as writing on your skin, and Tooru has always had words all over himself and all of them are so positive that he’s sure his soulmate can’t be anyone he knows, must be some kid dreaming up the perfect partner, because he is none of the things his skin is telling him. (and even though he dreams of his soulmate, he also can’t deny his feelings for Iwa-chan, who couldn’t possibly be right for him even though he desperately wants him to be… because even when Oikawa amps up his annoying-ness, never once has there been the word “annoying” on his skin.)

Flowers: iwaoi, Iwa plays the “he loves me, he loves me not” game throughout different stages of their relationship, until he realizes that he makes his own destiny.

Handcuffs: iwaoi – a prompt given to me by @superiortechnology; iwa and oikawa are arguing and there seems to be more going on than meets the eye – so obviously Matsukawa and Hanamaki takes matters into their own hands and make sure that their friends solve their dispute by any means necessary.

Greek Gods AU 1: More Aphrodite/Hephaestus IwaOi (see Iwaoi Week 2017)

Greek Gods AU 2: Hades/Persephone IwaOi

Airport Reunion AU 1: happy sappy “I missed you so much” schmoop for iwaoi with a confession :D

Airport Reunion AU 2: this one hurts; Oikawa is due to come home from a game overseas but his plane crashes. (He’s not dead. Good lord.)

“Three things you love most” – a short series of iwaoi being asked that question at different stages in their lives. FLUFF

“What would you do if I died today?” - another collab with @josai if that works out; Oikawa asks a stupid question and Iwa can’t seem to let it go. Soft and pensive and nsfw :’)

A very soft and sappy engagement/wedding thing for iwaoi

An incredibly painful iwaoi fic that has a breakup, minor character death, and a whole host of misunderstandings. To know your characters, you have to break them, or something. This one is ROUGH.

A couple ideas for nonbinary Oikawa and/or Trans Oikawa that I am afraid to approach because I don’t want to be indelicate or offensive.

Possibly more for the Sports Club IwaOi AU (see Iwaoi Week 2017)

Possibly an actors AU with iwa and oikawa as musical singers in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar

An actual Phantom of the Opera AU with Phantom!Oikawa and Christine!Iwa – old, but I wanna write some of it out.

A whole host of fluffy iwaoi drabbles from prompts that I’ve found or that people have sent me in my ask :D There’s like 30 unfilled ones there and I intend to write pretty much all of them, and also the ones that are for ships I don’t usually write (kagehina, bokuro, daisuga)

I have more IwaOiBokuAka and more IwaOiBoKuro ideas are in the works too – smaller fic ideas for the former and, if I can manage to write it, a large fic for the latter.

Other fandoms (because yeah, I wanted to diversify. Hah.)

Illuminate is marked as completed but I have more ideas for this. It’s for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, an AU where certain characters live.

I also have a rather big HP thing planned with my dear old friend @annoyed-basically that we have a lot of feelings about and that could potentially be the biggest project ever wtf

Oh, and then there’s also HP crackfic for my little sister (her ideas, written as a Very Serious Fic though okay) that I really kinda wanna write but idk if it’ll ever be fit for posting :’D It’s literally just... humor ^^

Ty for the tag! If you’re reading this and you’re a writer, you’re tagged!!

[warriorgays]

I'm going to ask the most broad and annoying question so forgive me, but what happened to everyone after Through the Gay Days ended? I have never been more invested in a group of characters in my life and I desperately want them all to be happy, whatever form that takes, in the end. Also! what other sources did you draw from besides Coming Out Under Fire? I was so impressed with how well researched everything was. 💖

OH MAN I didn’t expect to actually get a question, lol!! And that’s one I’m happy to answer, because I did think a lot about it. idk if I’m ever going to actually write a follow up, because my WIP list is soooo long and, tbh, the 50s are SO DEPRESSING in terms of LGBT stuff.

IT TOOK ME AN HOUR TO WRITE THIS UP. I APOLOGIZE. UNDER A CUT BECAUSE HOLY FUCK. I apologize for any typos but I’m just publishing instead of proofreading because what the fuck.

In terms of sources... I really think Coming Out Under Fire was the main “intentional” one. I have a BA in history and I’m getting my MA right now, so I’ve READ a lot of history and probably unconsciously drew on a lot. the other one I can definitely think of is Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers, by Lillian Faderman, which covers lesbian U.S. history from the early 1900s to the 1980s. she draws on COUF for her 40s chapter (which is kind of a bummer because I was hoping for more WWII lesbian-specific content lol), but she’s good at covering some of the broad-strokes history of sexuality and LGBTQ identity. Becoming Visible by Molly McGarry is a really cool illustrated history, too, I’ve read that a few times over the years.

SO, for post-war lives, I’m going to warn you real quick it does get depressing for everybody for a little bit because uhhh the 50s fucking sucked? Faderman talks about this a lot, and actually Stephanie Coontz is a good source too--she has this book titled The Way We Never Were, which basically debunks the idea of “the ~traditional~ family” and looks at the ways our perceptions of society’s values have changed. and one thing she points out is that the 1950s are really the first time when society looks at single men--all single men--and thinks “there must be something WRONG with them.” before that, people were willing to accept that some dudes just didn’t want to get married, for plenty of reasons that had nothing to do with homosexuality, but in the 50s everyone was so gungho about The Family that anyone not into it was looked at with suspicion. add that to the whole “homosexuals are susceptible to Communist blackmail, better fire them all” and things fucking sucked.

I PROMISE HAPPY ENDINGS, THOUGH, because the whole “LGBTQ people lived depressing lives until these Enlightened Times” trope is my least favorite trope ever.

SO, for Gene Roe, my first thought for his post-war life was this Gaslight Anthem lyric that @antiquecompass prompted me for a Snafu/Roe fic foreverrrrrr again: “I’m in love with the way you’re in love with the night.” so I imagine that Snafu comes home, and they try to just settle into things as usual, but Snafu starts really pushing Gene’s buttons. being more snide, being disrespectfully obvious about being nonmonogamous (like it’s one thing to go cruising and another to bring dudes home to the apartment you’re sharing with your boyfriend, COME ON MAN), trying to pick fights. and of course the impetus for all this is Snafu struggling with PTSD and thinking that Gene is too good for him but not being able to end it himself. of course Gene doesn’t put up with this bs, so one day Snafu finally admits he’s doing this because he’s afraid the war turned him into kind of a fucked up asshole, and Gene’s like “you were always a fucked up asshole? what’s your point? I love you?”

so then things kinda simmer down. Gene’s not Officially a doctor anymore, but he and Snafu live in an apartment building in the poorer part of the city with a lot of ~ethnic~ folk nearby some black neighborhoods, so he does some informal community doctoring around those buildings, and that earns him enough goodwill that he and Snafu don’t really have to worry about getting caught out. it’s the kind of neighborhood where a lot of people have to... bend the law a bit to get by, to be happy, whatever, so people trade food and skills as needed and there’s always an alert if the cops are coming by. it’s a good place for them. they’re happy. I’ve only really thought ahead like ~ten years, but I can imagine them eventually moving on when the community moves on, you know, whether to another city or somewhere a little more rural, depending, and that being okay. and I think, with Gene’s influence, and seeing how strong the ties are between the Pansies with Parachutes(TM), Snafu is able to reach out to Sledge and Burgie and the rest more than irl/show canon.

Babe and Spina are the other two that totally make it, soulmates, heartbreakingly cute. but I promised a little heartbreaking, so basically my idea is that they actually move in together a little while after the war, but at some point Babe’s mom realizes what’s up and... does not take it well. gives him an ultimatum, break up with Ralph or she won’t let him near the family, which Babe finds agonizing because he’s really close with his family but Ralph doesn’t have very many relatives, at least not close by (in this verse at least), and even if he could bring himself to break up with Ralph, at this point he doesn’t think his mom will ever treat him the same anyway.

in my head there’s a really sweet scene when Ralph finds out what happens and a lot of hugging and comforting. but yeah. that briefly sucks. what DOESN’T suck is when Babe decides, after a few months, that he has to tell Bill (because Bill has gotten so close to the Heffrons that of course he notices when Babe suddenly isn’t speaking to them), and Bill proves himself to be a total Bro who decides that, well, the typical idea of a homosexual CLEARLY doesn’t fit Babe and Spina so... it’s all good? like c’mon they went through a war together, that’s worth something, right?

I think eventually Babe and Spina move, too. not super far, just maybe to, idk, New York, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, somewhere they can visit everyone but maybe far enough to put some distance between them and bad memories, and also because South Philly is small when your family isn’t speaking to you, you know? possibly they end up in the same city as Luz and Tipper (see next), I’m not 100% sure but I’m vaguely attracted to the idea of everybody ending up on a commune, lol.

so I think I’m probably meanest to Luz, because I imagine him getting arrested at some point. sorry, boo. his reaction is to pay the fine and slink out, and get out of dodge for a while to avoid his family getting any blowback, and he ends up visiting Tipper, who’s really frustrated (which I alluded to a bit at the end of Through the Gay Days) because he just doesn’t click with his old friends as much and he hasn’t had a lot of luck romantically. and again I have this clear scene in my head of Tipper helping Luz dress in drag for the first time, lots of giggling and teasing, but Tipper doesn’t really do drag anymore because he can’t keep his balance in heels, and they end up talking about their frustrations and venting and whatnot. and eventually Luz is like “you know what? fuck it! run away with me!”

and Tipper’s like “fuck it, let’s do it!” so they just kind of live a semi-nomadic life? idk, maybe not really nomadic, but they get jobs that let them move/travel, so they don’t have the pressure of expectations. I’m on the fence about whether they do this as lovers... I would say not, like, REALLY. like possibly a friends with benefits thing (and I’ll point out that Luz is one of the only other named characters who interacts with Tipper, other than Liebgott, because Tipper’s in charge of the map during the Major Horton scene, so that chemistry could totally work). because they’re, like, the two from the fic whose relationships don’t end up going anywhere, and I don’t want them to pine after the Joes forever, and they don’t, but sometimes people just don’t find their soulmates, it happens, and they can at least make each other happy.

this is one of those verses where I’ve decided Liebgott gets to keep his wife-and-kids dream. I do think he’s gay in this verse, and when he gets engaged he writes a letter to Tipper basically seeking closure, admitting he dealt with things in kind of a shitty way and admitting it might be nice to have a Gay Posse, but he also takes his marriage seriously even if it’s not a love match, and doesn’t seek romantic or sexual encounters with men. idk if Joe Toye actually gets married in this verse, but I don’t see him as gay. if we were to retroactively apply the Kinsey scale, I’d say he’d be a 1 or a 2, in which the situational aspect of war kind of pushed him towards interactions that he may have subconsciously desired, but definitely wouldn’t acknowledge in a normal time and place.

as for Chuck! I kind of like the future I give Chuck, partly because he conveniently is from the LA area. so for him, I imagine that at some point Ron Speirs just kind of shows up on his doorstep one day and they become, like, an actual Thing. and it’s good for a couple of years, but Ron seems... restless. and eventually Chuck sits him down and flat-out says “look, I really don’t think you’re cut out for this settled-down long-term-relationship kind of thing. we had a good run, we can part on good terms, but you can travel and have adventures and do all the stuff you want to do.” and then, correctly, points out that one of the reasons Speirs is so reluctant to do that is because he feels guilty for Chuck getting shot, which doesn’t really make any sense. Chuck’s only request is that Ron NOT GO BACK INTO THE ARMY, because fuck Korea, have you heard how many gay soldiers are getting kicked out of the military nowadays? Speirs agrees and they break up amicably.

(is Chuck still in love with him? yes. does it hurt like a motherfucker? yes.)

ANYWAY. the L.A. is where the Mattachine Society, the first official homosexual organization in the country, was founded in 1948... or maybe 49. I forget. the founder started asking around a while before he found people who were actually willing to join up. I figure Chuck eventually joins up and is the first of the Pansies with Parachutes(TM) to really develop a political gay identity. and through that org he eventually meets Beth, a lesbian who’s just broken up with her gf and is kind of panicking because now she might have to leave her apartment and go back to her parents in Nebraska, and they become fast friends and fuck it, why not get married? it’s good cover, and I could have also gotten a chance to talk about the working class lesbian bar scene in the 1950s, which is a cool topic.

if this were a formal fic, I would end it with 1952, when the entire group reunites in honor of the 10-year anniversary of them meeting at Toccoa. since it’s not, suffice to say they do have all-group reunions, and they also visit each other and call and write letters and stay friends 5ever. at some point Babe and Spina have a not-wedding (there’s a picture of a wedding in the 50s with two grooms in flower crowns in Becoming Visible, I love that picture) and they all come and celebrate. OH and at some point between Luz getting arrested and meeting with Tipper, he definitely visits Gene in Louisiana and they make out a bit. because, tbh, I caught a bit of UST in Through the Gay Days--I don’t know if it’s a ship I’d ship in any other verse, lol, but in this verse I feel like they need to make out.

anyway. eventually the 50s end. I want to say that by the time Stonewall happens, either Tipper&Luz or Babe/Spina (both??) are living in NYC and for three days everyone is frantically calling each other going “DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS???” and Chuck becomes totally into the California gay scene, and Babe’s nieces and nephews eventually reach out to him, Tipper and Luz either... idk, become real boyfriends or get hot younger boyfriends and become Wise Gay Dads to the younger crowd. Snafu and Gene grow old together, as hard as it is to imagine old Snafu.

EVERYBODY IS HAPPY AND FRIENDS AND GAY, THE END.

[survivoratomic-acadia]

Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.  

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao                                                                                                 xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST. 

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except  luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely                                 Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W                                  Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel?  think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself.  I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason                                                                                  xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos)                                                                                     xoxo, gossip girl      P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it.  "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much.  We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon 

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool 

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!! 

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!! 

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH. 

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space  mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later 

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops?                                    Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (: 

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat. 

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days!  As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week.  I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol                                     Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe. 

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal 

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess 

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow. 

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing 

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION 

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed /                                                                                                xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working. 

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^ 

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe. 

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win 

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA. 

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out? 

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY  my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder                                   Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt. 

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out!                                   Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives 

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh. 

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!  

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see!  I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that. 

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean                                   Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things                                   Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack 

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild. 

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)