#I hope the funeral director gossips too
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masked-alien-lesbian · 1 year ago
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You better believe I exposed his ass...
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ablogwithoutacause · 9 months ago
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The wicked world we live in…
It’s all about programming. About sabotaging the young mind. Teen “soap opera” such as gossip girl and euphoria grossly corrupts the mind of a growing soul. So socially disturbing… yet it fools young people into normalizing said behaviors. Keep in mind the writers and the directors of these programs are sick f#%’s in their upwards middle aged years in corporate positions. Young girls eat it up; climb the narrowing social pyramid. Where only a select few make the cut. They digest it and defecate then eat it once again.
The same is applied to young men. Violence, and cutting corners to reach riches through the influence of grotesque music, false dreams of becoming a professional athlete, and the false illusion of success through organized crime or illicit incomes.
Both men and women are shaped by such entertainment, it’s sad to admit that societal norms are degrading more and more each day. The spiral is reaching its end, we’re in the last days. Soon this will be no more. When you said you wanted me to watch gossip girl… i watched it with hope of seeing who “we were” but I’ve been exposed to a disgusting world i had no idea existed… knowing you saw this in your youth kinda makes me uncomfortable. This is no show for someone who wants to be spiritually strong in such a chaotic world. You wouldn’t watch two-hour long urban cowboy because of the harsh marriage Bud and Sissy had. You wouldn’t watch two-hour long Mi Familia because of a postpartum death scene… but backstabbing, minors having relations with adults, corruption, and extortion is okay to endure for over 5 seasons and eighty-six hours worth of soap opera. Which I’ve almost completed.
It’s not an attack towards you. Just an analytical rhetorical segment as to what i think of it so far. Where is the line drawn? Things Chuck is willing to do for Blair that she won’t do for him, and vice versa. Is this what the future will have for us, if that opportunity presents itself? One sided scavenger hunts? One sided interests. Goals. Investments? You know I have a very philosophical way of viewing things, and i can also have a mundane black and white way of doing things when under pressure. Well this isn’t an attempt at any disturbance to your “time alone”. You’re clearly working on yourself being a rabbit working out, drinking coffee, and focusing on you. It hit me today, it’s been fifteen days since we last spoke. Sixteen now as I’m finishing this entry. Only you know the way you do things. As do i, for what pertains to me. I guess I’m working on myself too. Instead of crying and making myself useless during this period. It finally clicked that i should be proactive. A part of me died recently. Twenty-seven bodies, was what Jehovah allowed me to pick up during my work with the funeral home. The year i turned twenty seven. Each one taught me a valuable lesson. Each one unique, each one with a story. From homicide, to overdose… from old age, to motor vehicle accident. I learned that my life in this state could come to a finish at anytime. One thing i asked God, was to allow me to be your husband once again, and fulfill my role as husband just as i had accepted to do so with you as my witness. I want to leave the ugly behind, to die, but not forget it like Chuck tried to do in Paris. Ignoring the past does nothing. Accepting it and learning from it is what is going to help me reach the highs i wish to complete.
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This will be my last “message”. Whatever poetry you read here from now on is figurative and only makes sense when all of context is known. I will not leave anything cryptic, any hints as to what is occurring in my life. If something seems negative, it’s because I’m feeling negative. If something seems romantic, it’s how I’m feeling. Poetry is more than romantic. It’s everything. For instance, i wrote this last night
A que saben tus besos?
Se me olvida entre tanto abismo
Entre tanto tiempo…
Hubieras sido menos cruel y decirme que ya no querías nada conmigo
Como piensas arreglar las cosas,
Haciéndome a un lado?
Como vas a hablar con otros y decir que me amas?
Como me vas a extrañar y evitar?
Donde no se te busca, no se te quiere
Again. It’s how i was feeling.
La mujer es como la guitarra… muchas se ven similares… entonan las mismas melodías mas el timbre nunca es igualado. El olor nunca es el mismo. La densidad nunca igualada. El color. Los detalles… Donde se desafina. Donde suena mejor. Cómo se desafina. Cuando aprender a tocar en una guitarra, nunca la olvidaras… 1971 Yamaha G series. Mi primer guitarra clásica. Desgastada. Nunca afinaba al “cien”. Pero un tono grueso, incompatible. Añejo. K8e, sensible, reactiva y impaciente… pero sabia amar. Quebré esa guitarra… Sera parchada, reconstruida. Tal vez no suene igual, tal vez suene mejor. La mujer es como la guitarra.
Ambos fueron escritas la misma noche. Simplemente mi sistema, es que no hay sistema. Lo que nace, se hace. Es quien soy. No puedes meter un Aguila en una jaula. Su hogar es en cielo. Es en cerro. Es peñasco en la barranca que fija su mirada al mar. Es donde su nido queda. Este águila se canso de ser picoteada por los cuervos. Y volara mas alto para alejarse de su pasado. El sabe donde queda su nido. Y solo espera encontrarlo disponible nuevamente… y no ocupado por un lobo.
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REQUESTS ARE OPENED?! *dives headfirst into an askbox* May I please request Undertaker with an s/o who works as a wedding planner/owns a bridal shop? Opposite attract, I guess?!
UWAHHH I’m such a sucker for stuff like this!! <3
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Hee-hee, opposites attract, indeed! People seem to have this misconception that morticians (and, for those who are aware, Grim Reapers) are all quite somber and devoid of joy because of the nature of their jobs. And it’s simply not true! He absolutely adores every part of his S/O’s work. After all, weddings and funerals ― those are the two most important days in a person’s life, right? As far as he’s concerned, he and his darling go together like toast and jam.
Whenever he’s not too busy, he makes it a point to go see (Name) at their shop. Imagine a funeral director, all dressed in black with a permanent smile, flitting from bride to bride, kissing their hands and congratulating them and offering unsolicited marriage advice. He becomes something of a good omen, though; he’s charming and his advice is usually quite solid. He’s a romantic at heart, honestly. So the brides begin to gossip to their friends, and anyone who comes to the shop actually hopes he’s round so they can be ‘blessed by the Undertaker’. His S/O is both happy for the uptick in business and thoroughly amused by his antics. And, of course, he thinks it’s a proper riot.
More than once he’s let his beloved use him as a mannequin while they’re working on dresses, particularly if his body type is similar to the bride’s. He’s quite a good sport about it, even teasing that he wouldn’t be disappointed if (Name) wanted him to wear a dress when the two of them get married. (Of course, he’d wear a black dress, but…) A few times they ‘accidentally’ poke him with a pin or needle… only for him to giggle and ask if they’ll do it again. Sigh. So much for getting him to sit still.
When the date for wedding approaches, if the bride and groom want him to, the Undertaker is actually ordained to officiate marriages! He will very happily perform the ceremony if that’s something the couple would like. It’s something he enjoys getting to do; helping give birth to a new love which will hopefully endure. … Plus, he gets to drag his S/O away from their duties for a couple of minutes to dance with him ― and eat cake!
Actually chatters a fair amount about what their own wedding should be like, even if neither of them have proposed yet. He’s been married and a widower several times over the centuries he’s been alive, but he’s yet to have a ‘dream wedding’ or find any lasting romantic happiness. The least he can do while he has (Name) in his life is try to find the little moments and tiny gestures which add up to big memories. Even if it may not be a perfect dream, a wedding with them would make a wonderful memory indeed.
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chemicalpink · 3 years ago
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Only Good Vibes ♡ Min Yoongi
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Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader
Genre: smut, a futile attempt at comedy, strangers to friends to lovers au.
Rating: 18+
Word Count: 5.9k
Summary: If Yoongi was being honest, the last thing he had expected to inherit from his father was a sex toy manufactures, even more so, the last thing he expected from being there was to fall in love. Or let someone peg him, but you know, potato potatoe
Warnings/Tags: mentions of minor character death, Yoongi is bisexual, Yoongi’s father is homophobic, kinda sub!Yoongi, pegging, chaebol!Yoongi, family exclusion, YN is somewhere on the queer spectrum, YN has no filter whatsoever, they drink but they aren’t drunk does that make sense?, Yoongi and YN are soooo awkward istg it pains me, masturbation (female and male), mutual masturbation, use of sex toys, slight edging, fingering (male and female receiving), overstimulation (female and male), squirting, slight dirty talk, kinda voyeurism (do i even write something that’s not voyeurism by now?), Yoongi’s suit gets ruined, anal plugs (male), cock ring, electrode vibrator, use of lube.
A/N: Gotta say, this one took a lot to get done BUT SHE IS HERE. Huge thanks to @birbdae for the banner, I know you did it quite a while ago and since then this fic evolved into this so- yeah I hope that you guys enjoy this one.
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Yoongi walks the pristine halls once he enters the building, it smells like a mix of freshly brewed coffee and sanitizer, his shoes somewhat squeaking on the floor with each step he takes, the starched collar of the white shirt he was practically obliged to dress in has started to itch his skin from not being used to the whole put together look. It had been a few weeks since his father died, nobody really seemed phased by it, being that the man had passed away after a long battle on a hospital bed. No one had cried during the funeral, not even his mother. Truth be told, they were all instructed not to do so, something along the lines of being the most deserving family in the country or some bullshit like that. Of course the man would be missed, not for his grandeur as a human being, but more for the millions he made day by day. And that’s where Yoongi comes in. Dressed up head to toe in a way that he hadn’t done ever since his father practically threw him into the streets. As much as he disliked it and had grown out of it, he couldn’t help but compromise, eyes on the grand prize: the family fortune.
So what if his siblings and a few cousins would get something out the old man’s will too, the Min’s fortune, both in money and enterprises, was huge; after his grandfather had passed away, and his father, being the youngest child, absorbed every single part of the fortune as his siblings weren’t fitted anymore to run their part, the newest Min generation had turned to resemble a bunch of vultures waiting to feed. So as long as he got his fair share for having to put up with the man for so long, he would be okay with it.
Everybody was already sitting on the large wooden table by the time he arrived, the commissioner signaling for him to take a seat before he began the lecture. An almost three hour long preface that had Yoongi dozing off multiple times, getting a side eye from most of the other people present, before the distribution began. Min Enterprises consultant branch for Daejun, Min Enterprises technology branch for Hada… and last but not least, Min Enterprises recreative branch for Yoongi.
“HA! TAKE THAT YOU HOMOPHOBIC FUCK! I KNEW I’D GET SOMETHING!” all eyes turned to him as he stood up from his seat, some shocked at the word choice, although it was no secret he had a rough relationship with his father, most of them just snickering at him, like they knew something he didn’t.
And man did they know.
“So he just had to keep being a homophobe even as he’s buried six feet under the ground and give me the dildo factory” Yoongi sighed as he frantically paced around the room
“Eh” his friend shrugged as he munched on a small bag of pretzels “The snacks are nice”
“What the fuck am I supposed to know about dildos! I don’t have a vagina!” Yoongi’s face was redder than ever, throwing a fit on his very first day at the office he inherited just a few days ago– not before going through a lot of papers and signatures and approvals– and learning that apparently amongst the whole business emporium his family had built, there was a sex toys manufacturer. And his father had decided to be his funny homophobic self even after death, by letting his bisexual son run it.
Namjoon had laughed for a good five minutes on the phone before he decided to come over and help his best friend out of what was surely about to be an existential crisis. Leaning against the couch that was placed on what would now be his office, he added distractedly “You don’t need to have a vagina to use a dildo tho”
“Well-true” he seemed to ponder it for a while, before shaking himself from the thought “either way I wouldn’t know a thing about it”
���Remember back in college summer 2013?”
Yoongi turned to his friend, stopping dead in his tracks and squinting his infamous cat-like squint at the younger, gritting his teeth “We DON’T talk about summer 2013”
Namjoon lets out a whole body laugh at both his friend and the memory, when you make your way into his office in order to deliver some of the papers you needed him to sign “What happened in summer 2013?”
“We don’t talk about that” you couldn’t help but smile at him, grumpily making his way to his desk, rubbing his temples as he let out an exasperated groan. Not everyone really knew a thing or two about the new boss, never been the one to be acquainted with his late father’s business, or family, for that matter and it really showed, the poor guy didn’t even know where to begin with before he was savagely thrown into an already clock-work organisation. People were starting to talk as soon as he set foot inside the building, gossips going around about how he wasn’t fitted for the position and how he was the outcast of the family, yet you thought he could use a friendly face if he ultimately decided to take the job. His friend was still absentmindedly laughing before his eyes caught something on his phone screen.
“Well this has being fun, I’m gonna head out” he started getting up from the couch before the elder interrupted his wave towards you
“What am I supposed to do Namjoon?!”
“Just- give me a call once you figure out if you get an employee’s discount, okay?”
“Wha-” Yoongi was quick to throw a pen that had been lying on top of his desk at his retrieving friend, the object falling to the ground as it hit the doorframe, completely missing the other man, whose laugh could still be heard as he walked away.
He slumped against his desk chair once again, eyeing the stack of documents you had brought in for a brief moment before groaning and hanging his head low. There were a lot of rumours going around, with the Min family being as successful as they were, and although you had decided not to trust them, you couldn’t help but feel your heart ache if what people said about Min Yoongi were true. A prodigal son fallen from his father’s grace, truly one –if not the most– prepared person out of the whole family, with a lot of curriculum to back him up, everyone rooting for him to be the head of the whole Min emporium, only to be casted away in a rush of headlines, front pages of magazines and online bashing as he was seen leaving a bar that was known to be one of the few LGBTQIA+ friendly ones around and it all went downhill from there, never to be seen around his own family again except for the big events and now, here.”I could help you figure out your way around if you’d like”
He didn’t even bother to turn your way when he answered “I don’t even know where to begin”
“That’s alright, come on” you tapped his arm in an attempt to have him follow you outside. Although the methods seemed quite unorthodox for an enterprise carrying the Min’s family name, Yoongi didn’t seem the type to take offence on a lack of traditional manners, plus, the whole workplace had always been quite different from the rest of the Enterprises. “My name’s Y/N, I’m the head director of a sister brand, so you’ll be seeing a lot of me around”
“So…” he turned to face you as you two made your way out of his office “dildos?”
“Kinda- we run the LGBTQIA+ focused brand” he almost missed a step as soon as the words were processed inside his mind and you couldn’t help but smile at him
“I never knew my father had an inclusive line in his business”
“Oh he didn’t” you couldn’t help but find it cute when he made a confused gesture with his face as you both stopped at one of the doors that led to the designing part of the building “You see, we tend to do things differently around here, and there’s a lot of space to work with”
The room is, admittedly, not at all what Yoongi had expected it to be –not like he had a precise image in mind about a dildo manufacturer. But the room he was brought in was almost surgical, men and women alike are all dressed up with white laboratory coats and all, one of them approaching both of you with a smile on his face.
“Y/N! What brings you here? It’s been a while since we’ve seen you!” Yoongi can’t help but steal a glance at your smile, the heavy air that he was accustomed to feel every time he came close to one of his family’s business nowhere to be found, the whole room was breathable enough.
“Work’s keeping me busy, anyway, this is Min Yoongi, he’s taking over” for a second Yoongi felt like suffocating, you having to introduce him as if he wasn’t quite literally your boss, as if he was a new employee “I’m showing him around, see how he finds the place”
“Oh the infamous Min Yoongi” and he could feel his heart race- even in such a place, only god knows how much of his family disaster the people could hear of, the flashbacks to being outcasted and laughed at for his downfall all coming back to him “It’s nice to have you man, I’m Hoseok”
You turned his way and smiled at him, in an attempt to let him know that it was fine. There really wasn’t much to fear inside the building– except for when they had to deal with executive meetings– things were different around here. Yoongi’s gaze seemed to fixate on one of the computers where another man in a white coat was sitting, albeit still quite awkward, he approached him “Is there a program for that?”
The guy, one of your best designers ever since he joined an internship a few years back, Jungkook, turned to look at Yoongi with wide eyes and sort of shy at the stranger “Oh yeah” when Yoongi didn’t seem to break out of his fascination on watching a 3D modelling program run with a sculptured cock being designed on it he added with a small chuckle “Drawing penises by hand only gets you so far”
He watches you chat away with both men and can’t help but feel at peace, as weird as the thought of it could be. Min Yoongi, with a MBA and a Business Administration Doctorate, feels at peace in a dildo factory. But the teamwork seems like something he had never seen before, the line of production is almost text-book like. He can’t help but wonder, even if headless, things seem to run smoothly, where exactly does he fit in? “So what exactly am I supposed to do in a dildo factory?”
You laugh at his choice of words, before Hoseok steps in somewhat offended by them “We don’t just make dildos” and although it didn’t help his case, he throws one squiggly silicone penis his way, to which he has no other option but catch “We are in charge of designing, planning and manufacturing recreational tools in aid for people’s mental health, self indulgence and lifestyle” he then loses his whole offended facade as he takes a small ring between his fingers and shrugs before smiling brightly “At least that what we tell the big boss”
The younger man in a white coat speaks up from his place in front of the computer “Except he’s now the big boss”
Hoseok’s eyes grow as wide as saucers as he realises “Oh god did I fucked up?” You can’t stop yourself from smiling at his antiques, hand coming up to shut his mouth as he realises his slip in vocabulary “Oh shit” Jungkook rolls his eyes at him before returning to his work and Yoongi can’t help but feel endeared as the whole scene develops “Sorry boss”
Gratefully, you step to his side, waving a goodbye to both of them, Hoseok returning it with a smile and a bow towards him, and he realises his question still hasn’t been answered “So really, where am I supposed to fit in?”
You seem to ponder the question before responding “You could take over the white collar meetings, we all hate them” Yoongi groans at that “or” you take the silicone penis from him with a mischievous smile on your face as you shake it around on his face “you could be Jungkook’s test subject”
“I-no. Despite what you heard from Namjoon I don’t- I” your body almost doubled over in laughter at the face he pulled, an honest horror face and hey, the man is quite attractive, that much could be seen from miles away, and it had been a few too many months since the last time you got laid, technically he wasn’t even your boss, as you held the same position for a different product line.
“Eh- you could always try them on me” Yoongi’s eyes widened in surprise before they took on something darker in them, almost amused at your advances “...if you let me try my products on you”
“Deal”
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“Hyung what the fuck”
Yoongi started playing with a stress ball you had given him the day before after all introductions and tours were said and done, and now of course, after texting in the groupchat at night, both Namjoon and Seokjin wanted to hear all about what Jin named– very proudly– the deal-do “What could be worse than dildos?”
“Strap ons?”
Seokjin placed a hand on Yoongi’s back and sighed, already knowing the answer yet forcing himself to ask “Did you even read the papers you signed? The product lines of your company?”
“Oh”
“So you’re not going to keep the whole Min Yoongi doesn’t bottom facade any more?” Namjoon asked, knowing that although it was quite fun to watch the whole scenario unfold, his friend was the one going through it all
“I don’t bottom, that’s a fact”
“Hello boys, having fun on company time?” you crossed the door to his office the way you did the day before, dropping on top of his desk a stack of documents, only now noticing a new face on the couch, turning to greet him as he does the same before standing up, signalling Yoongi’s other friend, Namjoon to do the same.
“Well Yoongi-ah, this has been nice and all but it looks like you’ve got work to do” although he was trying to keep a straight face, the snickering of both men could be heard as they left the room. Yoongi really has to tell them that the walls are paper thin.
“So…”
“So…”
“Was the whole deal thing a thing? or should I just pretend it never happened and get stuck on reviewing whatever papers I’m supposed to review?” A short laugh escaped your lips as you looked at him, still kinda awkward about the whole ordeal.
“Oh it is a thing” you grabbed one of the folders on top of the stack, pressing the paper against him “We like to be very particular on our quality”
His eyes travelled along his feet for a few seconds, no word spoken about it.
“Yoongi, you do know you can say no right?” it was something you should have addressed way earlier, knowing beforehand that the work ethics around branched out into almost non existent territory, and the man was fresh out of a big family outcasting, getting thrown back in it to take over the least coordinated side of the enterprise “Look, I won’t lie, there’s a lot of talk going around, but you seem like a nice man, and I find you very attractive, you came in here as the boss and I was trying to get you entertained with the whole dildo factory idea, I know it must have been tough being designated here, especially since we tend to be...a little too much to handle, so just know that you can opt out of this one, I can just get Jungkook and his girlfriend to try these ones out, as they always have”
“That’s- that’s a lot to process”
“Then take your time and let me know okay? just thought you could have a nice laugh at the whole situation”
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It took Yoongi three days and a half to get back to you on the offer, three days and a half in which, although he wouldn’t admit to it, you had wormed your way into his heart, having you deliver documents each morning, bantering along with his friends before you had to go back to whatever it is that you did around the company. You had also started to smile more at Yoongi’s antiques as he slowly but surely made himself more comfortable around the company, handling small white collar tasks and getting less squeamish at every prototype Jungkook or Hoseok handed him without previous notice.
“You really invited me to dinner beforehand” Along with the responsibilities of being a head of management, came work trips, which were initially a you thing until Yoongi came along and now had to take responsibility as well, so naturally you had suggested to him–after a lot of rain checks on your deal– that this work trip would be perfect for you two to give the new toys a try.
“I’m a true gentleman, Y/N I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“Min Yoongi you’re about to absolutely ravage me after this”
“Y/N” his cheeks coloured a pretty pink as he tried to stifle a giggle by taking a sip out of his wine.
Even though it was hard to tell from first glance just what type of lifestyle Yoongi was accustomed to, it certainly became very visible as he navigated effortlessly through the menu with all the french names on it, swiftly ordering for both of you and being delighted at your reactions when the hors d'oeuvre came out, a soft smile on his face the whole time. Whether it was the soft buzz of two cups of red wine over dinner or having the chance of relaxing after a particularly busy week, it made you start gravitating towards Yoongi more than usual. It really was no secret that you found him attractive–you had even told the man yourself. And although you two had somewhat friendzoned each other, the awkward glances, blushing smiles and lingering touches certainly held more than what any of you two could express after barely a month of knowing each other.
Getting Yoongi to your hotel room was the easiest part, a faint blush on the apples of his cheeks as he gazed longingly at your held hands while you dragged him along after leaving the elevator. The kiss was unexpected but certainly welcomed, the way that Yoongi– the man that you had come to know for always being adamant on trying new things– looked so out of his element yet was willing to give it a try instead of running away like many times you had seen him do at work. The kiss was brief, a bit shy and probably out of all the built up tension in the room, your heart swelling at the gesture before you leaned in and captured his lips once more.
“Well this is certainly the first time someone has dined me, wined me and courted me before fucking me into next week”
A laugh escapes his lips, nothing like before, his eyes turning something dark within them as he lowers his voice and his fingers play with the strap on your shoulder, letting it fall down before his lips latch on the base of your jaw “Well what type of assholes have you let fuck you into next week”
A breathy moan escapes your lips as his mouth travels down your jaw to your clavicule, pressing you against him where you could feel his cock hardening, your hand coming down to trace the clothed length as he sharply breathes in “You know, maybe if you end up being good with the toys I’ll let you fuck me with this instead”
He groans loudly, head hitting the wall as you grip him inside his pants “Just fucking give me the dildos already so we can get on with it”
You both move to the bed, losing your dress in the way and positioning yourself nicely as you take out the box engraved with the company’s name on it before he trails behind you, feeling his cock twitch at the image he was greeted by, legs spread open, head against the pillows as your right hand leisurely strokes your already wet folds for him to see.
Yoongi tries his best to take deep breaths as he takes a look into the box, not recognising most of its contents “You really gotta walk me through these”
He can hear you laugh the way you always did when you noticed him being awkward in the slightest at work “Look, I’ll get the part going okay?” your hand stopped stroking your folds, fingers coming up to your mouth, licking them clean before going to grab a small bullet vibrator from the box– a classic you had become well acquainted with during your time working at the company.
The small object comes to life with a practiced twist on its body, buzzing against the air a few seconds before tracing the tip all over your folds before settling it on your clit, a gasped moan escaping your lips as you blindly fetch the glass dildo inside the box, cold surface sending a thrill down your spine as you slowly begin to insert it messily from being focused on not loosening your grip on the small vibrator. Warm hands remove your own from the clear object as you feel warm breath against your exposed skin, the tip of Yoongi’s tongue circling around your right nipple, capturing it between his teeth as he brings the tip of the glass penis inside and out of your cunt playfully a few times before deciding to bottom it out, earning a moan from you. Pumping the dildo a few times, his weight is suddenly shifted from the bed, movements halting and you prop yourself onto your elbows just to throw your head back in pleasure as you feel Yoongi’s mouth on your cunt, tongue lapping up your juices before he inserted the dildo once again, lewd sounds taking over the small room as he continues to fuck you and eat you out at the same time, you feel your thighs start shaking when he stops his movements, smirking at your surprised face, gaze fixated on you as he takes out both a set of ben wa balls and a rabbit vibrator, prompting yourself to explain both of the toys when he cuts your off “Oh I do recognise these two from the lab”
He quickly turns the rabbit vibrator on, wasting no time in fucking you with it as deep as its second vibrating tip allowed him to, the design effectively sending a wave of pleasure against your already worked up clit. Yoongi positions himself comfortably on your side, still fully clothed, hand at a slightly awkward angle so that he can reach down all while having open access to nibble at your skin, having you gasping and moaning under him
“Y-Yoongi I-!’m-” he throws a wink your way as you clench around nothing, impending orgasm long gone “You fucker”
He’s about to pick up the ben wa balls placed carelessly on the bed when he discards them in favour of a small silicone gadget that catches his eye “You were very much eager to try all of these tho” turning to you, all red faced and fucked out “What is this?”
You have half a mind to answer him “It’s a finger vibrator you just place it on your fingers like a glove”
There’s a brief glint in his eyes before he lowers himself again on the floor, easily manhandling you so that he had full access to your already dripping cunt, leveled to his face, cleaning you up with his hot tongue before he experimentally inserts his fingers inside you, vibrations making you instinctevely try and close your legs, to which he only chuckles and playfully bites the inside of your thigh. He quickly starts scissoring his fingers, gentle nibbles to your clit scattered between pumps, working you towards your previously cut short orgasm at a fast speed, walls clenching around his fingers as he separates himself from your core in favour of replacing his tongue for a mechanical sucking motion that you don’t even need to look down to know that he had reached for yet another toy inside the box “Yoongi- oh God- Yoongi p-please I’m-”
You moan loudly, pretty sure that if the rooms in your vicinity were occupied, they were most likely already filing a noise complaint, as you feel your whole body spasming by the force of your orgasm, feeling wetness around yourself, out of the corner of your eye you can see Yoongi smirking at you, the upper part of his sleeves wet from working you until you squirted on him. You can’t even begin to process the situation or really come down from your high as you feel Yoongi’s fingers carefully inserting what could only be the last toy. Your cunt seems to gape before clenching yet again as he works each of the rounded toys inside you, a mix of feeling too much yet not enough, dabbing between pleasure and feeling uncomfortable from the overstimulation taking over you for as long as Yoongi took his time inserting them all “God I can’t wait to see if you’d take my cock as well as you take these balls Y/N”
You’re about to respond with something snarky when he starts to slowly pull at the string of the toy, the ben wa balls coming out one by one, stretching you deliciously, a moan escaping your lips before Yoongi proceeds to start the ritual all over again. A sensation in your lower tummy aching for your climax buildup again and you could already tell it was going to be a long night.
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Falling back into a comfortable, bantering routine was easy enough, if anything, that fated sleepless night followed by small giggles from Yoongi everytime you shifted uncomfortably on your seat at the meeting the next day, served the purpose of shifting your relationship towards a more relaxed sexual tension between the two, instead of the awkward one from before, lewd jokes thrown around as well as shameless flirting around the office when you thought no one was watching.
“Look what Jungkook just came up with” you said as you barged into his office a Monday morning, Yoongi almost choked on his coffee as you threw the artifact his way
“And I seriously hope this is a you thing”
You rolled your eyes at him, a smile stretching on your face as the sweet idea of revenge took over your thoughts “It’s an us thing”
His eyes seemed to want to escape their sockets at that “You gotta take me for dinner before you even plan on using that on me”
“Tell you what, I’ll feed you afterwards”
“Deal”
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The office usually went quiet and lonely at around a quarter to seven, people from all sectors filtering out after a day’s worth of work, with you being the only human left on the building afterwards, that is, until Yoongi started working there, the man tended to stay for even longer than you did, the lights inside his office filtering to the otherwise dark place. You knock three times on the wooden door before entering Yoongi’s office, finding him hunched over his desk, some document open on his desk as he stares intently at it. You make your way towards him, hands kneading his shoulders to relieve tension, a pleasured groan escaping his lips as your lips bite teasingly his earlobe.
“The ever so romantic Y/N about to fuck me in my own office”
Your hands travel down to the expanse of his chest until they reach his belt, where you struggle a bit to get it undone. “I really just couldn’t wait any longer, could you blame me?”
Yoongi is quick to capture your mouth with his in a heated yet chaste kiss. He rolls his chair out of its original position to allow you to place yourself in between his legs, hips coming up just a few inches to allow you to bring his suit pants down to his ankles, half hard cock twitching in the cool air, your hand wrapping around it and pumping it a few times, to which Yoongi groans loudly, head thrown back as you lick a strip all the way from the base to the tip.
“Oh god Y/N” he can almost feel himself twitch in pleasure as he gazes down just in time to watch you slip him insid eyour mouth, lips wrapped prettily around him as you bob your head a few times before taking him out and giving his tip a few kitten licks “Oh-Oh I swear to fucking god you’ll be the death of me”
You take more of his length in your mouth, ravishing in the way that Yoongi responds, hand coming down to rest on your head, guiding you, yet not forcefully enough as you take a small set of rings from your bag laying around as soon as you feel him tense. You expertly maneuver the toy so that it is wrapped around his cock, him looking down and shivering at the cold metal touching him, constricting his cock to stand proudly as you move to straddle him, moving around a little so that his exposed cock grazes your clothed core under your skirt “I think you should stand up for me”
Yoongi does as he is told, not a word coming out of his mouth as he braces himself against his desk, one of your hands works on his cock as the other one comes down to his asshole, surprised enough to come across a bejewelled toy nestled inside it. You experimentally tug at it, Yoongi hanging his head low with a moan before you tease him a little with it, repeating the motion “So you prepped yourself for me”
He inhales sharply at your ongoing movements, biting down on his lips to keep a much louder noise from coming out “Shut up”
“No I think it's hot" you finally take the plug out, taking a few too many seconds to place the strap on you had thrown his way earlier on before moving to squirt some lube on it as well as on Yoongi’s hole before you tease it with the tip of the dildo, a broken moan coming from Yoongi’s mouth at the feeling, although it had been years– and he really wasn’t about to admit he was looking forward to having you fuck him ever since that sleepless night at your hotel room.
Your hips meet his in a faint and comfortable rhythm, Yoongi clutches his fists tighter every time you graze his prostate, cock leaking in front of him as he feels his orgasm building at a rapid pace before you completely remove yourself from him, bending down to put his pants in place, hand fumbling with the zipper so as to have his still ringed up cock standing still through the pants, forcing him onto his chair as you smile wickedly at him, a small set of electrodes being placed along his length, thin cables leading up to a small device you held in between your fingers.
He gasps as soon as he feels the electrodes vibrating against his cock, his faded climax coming back tenfold, something between a groan and a moan coming out from the back of his throat as you refrain yourself to just continue to watch him curiously “Look at you, such a pretty baby”
Yoongi’s moans keep getting louder by the second as you increase the level on the toy, and you certainly have to thank the universe for the whole office building being completely empty as you clearly see his cock twitch a few times before he cums all over his pants, Yoongi’s breath is ragged as his cock is unable to go soft, discomfort blending into pleasure once again as you keep the toy on for good measure, until you see his eyes watering, to which you hastily make your way to him, as he almost dissolves against the chair.
“It’s- it’s fine, I’ll clean myself” his voice is raspy and kind of quiet as you make sure to clean him the best that you could after removing the toys and running to his private bathroom for some towels.
“Yoongi, I’m not about to leave you after splitting your ass open and overstimulating you into oblivion, you’re not even sitting properly”
He makes a go at inhaling sharply before coming to fix himself on the chair “No it’s okay, I’ve had worse”
“Yoongi” you chastise, fixing him a glare
“Summer 2013”
You chuckle at that–the very much recurring inside joke of his. “What even happened in summer 2013?” He barely opens his eyes just to send an irritated glare your way “Yeah Yeah, we don’t talk about summer 2013”
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Carefully selected dates under the pretense of trying out whatever new gadget Jungkook and Hoseok came up with during the month soon turned into weekly meetups, meetups turned into staying the night that soon enough turned things as official as they could be– if Human Resources were the ones asking, Yoongi and you were just really great friends, end of the story. Out of all the ways that Yoongi had initially thought this scenario could play out, it certainly wasn’t this one.
“I’ll see you at home once the meeting is over then?” you say after placing a kiss on Yoongi’s adorable pouty lips, gathering your documents and thoughts for the meeting you were supposed to already be at. He nods right as your knees buckle, feeling the small device inside you pick up in speed, turning to the culprit only to find him smirking at you “Yoongi”
“Love you!” the little shit is quick to pretend like he hadn’t done a thing, eyes quickly fixated on whatever that was showing up on his screen as he watched you leave his office. Guess you’ll just have to get revenge on that one.
162 notes · View notes
crystalglassjar · 4 years ago
Text
🦋 Butterfly Baby 🦋
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-🦋 Butterfly Baby 🦋-
this isn’t exactly a fanfic but not exactly a list of headcanons either. it’s basically an “I suck at writing but I’ve already planned out an entire story”. is there a beginning, climax, and satisfying ending? no lmao
-📋 story description 📋-
xiao and hu tao get together and have a family. hu tao is 19 at the start of this fic if you’re wondering. I just really needed to get this story out my system...hehe...and reply to this post if you can figure out why the story is called Butterfly Baby
-‼️warnings‼️-
mild spoilers, also this was written on 2/7/2021 so some stuff might seem incorrect after more story quests come out. also major character death if you read the alternate ending
-📜 the actual writing 📜-
• hu tao and xiao start hanging out together (aka hu tao comes to bother xiao and eat almond tofu with him whenever he stops by wangsheng inn)
• xiao eventually grows fond for hu tao but makes many attempts to keep her at an arms distance, all of which were in vain
• xiao and hu tao are both in denial about being in love but obviously xiao takes his denial to a whole other level
• xiao doesn’t visit the inn for 2 weeks but eventually caves and goes back because he missed hu tao the silky texture of almond tofu
• ganyu finds out after overhearing verr goldet (desk lady at wangshu inn) reporting back to ningguang about her observations
• ganyu thinks it’s an exaggeration until she goes to wangshu inn for some business affairs sees xiao and hu tao chatting over some almond tofu and tea
• xiao pretends to not notice ganyu peering from behind a wall
• xiao brings it up during ganyu’s adepti training (ganyu story quest) and she just looks away and apologizes
• xiao knows she wouldn’t tell anyone so he doesn’t bother making her feel even worse than she already does
• xiao and hu tao start actually dating (in secret) but it’s hard to keep at least a few people from noticing an adepti and a funeral parlor director walking near the outskirts of town
• xiao once again tries to distance himself because he feels like he’s not worthy of her love after all the people he’s killed and that an adeptus can’t be with a mortal, hu tao shuts that argument down with “but I don’t care”
• hu tao is a bit hurt that he thinks it matters if she’s a mortal
• she laughs at the rumors that she’s dating an adeptus even if it’s true
• zhong li eventually hears about the rumors and is pretty sure it’s true because hu tao comes to his statue everyday and recently brought up questions about love
• fast forward 10 months of hush hush dating and he finally proposes. no ring or anything fancy, just a simple “do you want to get married?” while they stood at the peak of guyun stone forest
• hu tao says yes without even thinking about it and immediately kisses him and starts excitedly talking about wedding plans that she totally hasn’t been thinking about for the past 3 months
• xiao comes to ganyu to ask for help with wedding planning and ganyu nearly looses her head when she hears him say “so I’m engaged now..”
• hu tao somehow convinced zhong li to help her with planning
• zhong li isn’t too shocked about the engagement but hopes that xiao knows what he’s getting himself into
• hu tao, with a lot of effort, convinces xiao to move into the wangsheng funeral parlor with her
• xiao has a tough time adjusting to mundane life (haha get it because- no? not funny? ok I’ll stop)
• it doesn’t take much negotiation with ningguang to secure a venue at yujing terrace
• xiao would’ve preferred a private wedding at jueyun karst but didn’t know how to ask cloud retainer about it
• one month of planning later and they get married at yujing terrace
• basically everyone in Liyue attends the wedding including traveler
• the adepti got their invites delivered from ganyu and watched the wedding from afar
• I know nothing about Chinese weddings so uhhhh that’s for the reader to dream about
• hu tao throws a flower ball made of silk flowers into the crowd (customs of liyue, volume 1)
• may or may not have forgotten about contraception during their wedding night.....
• too embarrassed to go down to bubu pharmacy get morning after medicine
• hu tao prays to rex lapis that she won’t get pregnant
• zhong li, sipping his tea: I pretend I do not hear
• xiao doesn’t know if he should tell hu tao about zhong li being rex lapis so he just hopes he’ll never have to reveal that secret
• xiao nearly breaks his skull on the wall when he realizes what he’s getting himself into
• people of Liyue are still in shock about an adeptus marrying a mortal (since they were never confirmed to be dating beforehand) and nearly explode with buzz when the funeral parlor director starts growing a baby bump
• “have you seen the wangsheng funeral parlor director? last time I saw her, it looked like her belly was growing a bit. do you think she’s pregnant? oh my archons, a half adeptus baby? I can’t believe it!”
• xiao asks zhong li if he can go out an order a crib, rocking chair, baby clothes, etc for him
• zhong li obviously says yes
• fast forward 9 months and hu tao goes into labor just an hour before the funeral parlor was closing for the day
• zhong li rushes hu tao to her room and tells the undertakers to fetch the midwife
• hu tao calls for xiao and of course xiao is there within 10 seconds
• midwife nearly shits herself when she walks into the bedroom and sees an adeptus
•the midwife nervously asks if xiao was the father
• there was a popular (false) rumor going around that hu tao had an affair with zhong li and the baby was his, mostly because people refused to believe that hu tao was pregnant with a half adeptus baby. these rumors were only fueled further when zhong li was overheard asking a shop keeper if he should order multiple sizes of baby onesies just in case.
• zhong li just nods his head and xiao looks away in shame
• midwife gives helps deliver the baby while thinking “if I fuck this up, this adeptus is going to kill me”
• surprise! the baby is completely fine and healthy
• ganyu asked the qixing if she could take a day off (much to the shock of everyone who knew she wouldn’t even take her yearly vacation leave)
• ganyu has never ran so quickly down Liyue’s streets and nearly kicked down the funeral parlor door
• she’s super excited to know that there’s going to be another half adeptus in Liyue but is also incredibly worried about the idea of a half yaksha child
• I can’t come up with a name for the daughter so ill just call her daughter
• zhong li is named the god father and ganyu is the named god mother
• xiao and hu tao take the baby down to jueyun karst
• ganyu and cloud retainer both think the baby is such an adorable and precious little thing
• the rest of the adeptus are just like “xiao wtf...but ok”
• refer to my posts about xiao as a father if you want some more cute details but I don’t wanna just write a copy paste of my past post
• everyone at Liyue harbor is gossiping about it
• hu tao is a very fun and free mom and teaches the kid to become a tiny ball of chaos with the pyromania of klee and the sneakiness of yaoyao. aka the kid is now unstoppable
• pyro vision because of course
• hu tao teaches her daughter how to master pyro, how to write poetry, and most importantly, how to become a funeral parlor director
• the daughter actually prefers swords over poles and gets classes from the guhua clan, and more specifically,
• zhong li was very eager to give the kid a vision and was managed to get the pyro archons permission
• xiao confronts zhong li about the vision it in secret
• xiao: you gave her a pyro vision. do you know how destructive she will be? 
• zhong li, taking another sip of tea: ✨ I pretend I do not hear ✨
• hu tao overhears the conversation and puts two and two together
• hu tao and xiao have their first ever argument ever since they got married
• “why didn’t you tell me before?”
• “because it was a secret!”
• back and forth until they hear the baby waking up and crying
• they agree that there’s no point in arguing now and go off to calm down the baby
• they end up living a happy life as a family of three, and after hu tao’s death, xiao continues to raise the child as much as he can (with the help of zhong li and ganyu)
• their daughter becomes the 78th director of the wangsheng funeral parlor
~the end~
-↪️ alternate ending ↪️-
• osial somehow wakes up during one lantern rite
• xiao was distracted by a different, much smaller, demon
• the guizhong ballista and jade chamber had been repaired by now and were better than before, and they were able to defeat osial without sacrificing the jade chamber again
• however they didn’t get to the jade chamber fast enough and a small part of Liyue was destroyed
• one place in that part of liyue being the wangsheng funeral parlor
• xiao is overcome by grief because he believe it was his fault that he wasn’t able to protect this family
• he finally succumbs to the corruption
• what he didn’t know what was that hu tao did indeed die in the destruction, but his daughter (currently age 12) was still perfectly well and alive
• ganyu takes in the daughter
• zhong li took over the post as director after hu tao’s death and became the 78th director
• zhong li continued to teach the daughter about how to properly run a business and conduct flawless funerals
• the daughter becomes the 79th director of the wangsheng funeral parlor when she’s 18
• she also becomes the new demonslayer of the adepti, following in her father’s footsteps
• even through the trauma of witnessing her mother’s untimely death and being given the news that her father’s had also died, she made it through and raised a happy family of her own, while wearing the hat that her mom passed down.
~the end~
-📝 author’s note 📝-
ok...so that was longer than expected. let me know what you guys think! see any typos or anything off? please mention it! if you guys have a header for hu tao please do share~
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raleighcarrera · 5 years ago
Text
famous
platinum | raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian)
an au where raleigh is still raleigh but cadence is an actress on a teen tv drama.
~5.4k words | M (18+)
raleigh tag list: @omgjasminesimone, @choicesarehard
cadence rolled her eyes from the makeup chair, prompting the artist that was working on applying her eyeshadow to let out an annoyed sigh. “sorry, katie,” she apologized, before cutting her gaze over to her co-star, sitting in the chair beside her.
“what’s the big deal?” cadence asked, still not seeing what made today so vastly different from any other day on set. “he’s just a guy.”
jaylen looked like she was about to have a stroke. “raleigh carrera is not just a guy. please don’t ever say that again.” 
cadence snuck a glance at katie, but the older woman only smirked silently as she waved a strip of false eyelashes in the air, waiting for the glue to try. “okay,” cadence started slowly, “i just meant -- that he’s probably like any other guest star we’ve had?”
jaylen scoffed. the set hairstylist finally walked up and started pulling the curlers out of her long, brown hair, running her fingers through it to loosen them. “he is so not. seriously, stop acting like you didn’t camp out all night for sunset skatepark tickets at one point in your life like everyone else.”
she definitely had, but -- “that was, like, a million years ago. i was thirteen. besides, he’s totally different now. i’ll be amazed if he even manages to show up on time today.”
cadence was due on set in an hour, which, if katie could get her eyelashes on in one try, was going to give her just enough time to grab something to eat before her first scene. at this point in filming the show, she was hardly nervous about anything, anymore, even having to film with one of the most famous people she’d probably ever meet -- so there wasn’t much she’d need to do to prepare, except maybe pop a mint before their big scene.
from beside her, jaylen was sulking. cadence watched her in the mirror as best as she could with katie curling her eyelashes. “his visit is totally wasted on you,” she whined, “i can’t believe the writers gave you the kiss.”
“it’s not like i asked for it. besides, rosa --” jaylen’s character “-- and trevor just got back together. it wouldn’t have made sense for it to be anyone else.”
she blinked rapidly as katie backed away, testing the weight of the false eyelashes. they were in the middle of filming the third season of the show, and while her eyes had definitely stopped watering, by now, that didn’t mean that it didn’t still feel a little bit weird, to have so much makeup on all the time.
just a few years ago, she was making smoothies for forty hours each week, barely pulling in enough money to afford her rent. now she was part of one of the most popular teen dramas in the world -- and about to get paid to make out with the guy that literally performed with justin timberlake at the super bowl.
so, life was surreal, sometimes. 
once her hair was set in the waves her character always wore, cadence left jaylen pouting in wardrobe and strolled to craft services, making a bee-line for the breakfast table. she was piling mini-muffins into a napkin when she saw him.
his hair was shorter than she’d expected it to be; when she thought of raleigh carrera she pictured the way he looked on the ‘famous’ album cover -- long hair, dark smile, lots of tattoos. the guy sitting in the chair in the corner of the room was undeniably the same person, but he looked...
hungover, that was the word she was looking for.
raleigh had sunglasses on. inside. he was cradling a cup of coffee in his hands.
cadence gathered up the corners of her napkin and made her way over to him. “hey,” she said, her voice perfectly level -- not, as shane always called it, monday-morning-chipper. “i’m cadence, i’ll be your scene partner today.”
raleigh stared at her -- or she assumed that was what he was doing. for all she knew, he was asleep. she arched her eyebrows at him, and a minute later, he tilted his head, letting his sunglasses slip down his nose. 
sheesh. he was hot. the look in his eyes caught her and pinned her in place. 
“cadence dorian, right?” she nodded, trying not to look too surprised. so -- he knew who she was? he didn’t seem like the type of guy that would be familiar with her work -- this teen drama and a number of big-studio romantic comedies. “my agent said we’re filming romance today. lots of kissing.”
cadence felt her lips spread into a grin. “yeah. i hope you brushed your teeth.”
raleigh let out a bark of laughter so loud that a few of the production assistants turned around to look at them. he was smirking when he said, “don’t tell me chadley fortnum’s got bad breath.”
she gaped at him. chadley had played her character’s boyfriend for the last two years, before the writers finally killed him off. he was an awful kisser. “do you seriously expect me to believe that you actually watch wicked midnight?”
now he was smirking in that way she’d expected. he looked a lot more like the guy from the ‘famous’ album cover. “maybe i catch an episode here and there.”
“this is hilarious. do you also watch gossip girl? riverdale? is your favorite movie fifty first dates?”
he reached up and pushed his sunglasses up into his hair. “i prefer how to lose a guy in ten days.” 
of course he was funny. why wouldn’t he be? it wasn’t like he wasn’t already drop-dead gorgeous and effortlessly cool. 
maybe jaylen was right. she’d only known him for three minutes, and already cadence could see he wasn’t just a guy.
“we should get going, or we’re going to be late. i’ll show you where the soundstage is.” 
raleigh nodded at her and they started walking to set together, him with his coffee and her with the four or so muffins in her hands that she was suddenly too shy to eat. “so,” she asked abruptly, for a distraction from thinking about how handsome he was, “why the sudden interest in acting?”
cadence glanced at him and watched him shrug his broad shoulders. “for the positive pr, mostly. i think my team’s just hoping to generate some headlines that aren’t about something i destroyed, for once.”
she laughed. “fair enough. i guess raleigh carrera guest stars in wicked midnight midseason finale is a lot better than raleigh carrera crashes motorcycle into wildlife sanctuary, kills family of endangered pandas.”
“okay, i would never do that,” he argued, “pandas are adorable. there’s nothing cool about anti-conservation.”
“but there is something cool about breaking into and wrecking a cruise ship?” so -- she read her fair share of gossip blogs. sue her.
“totally,” he confirmed. he drew her eye as he tipped his head back to drain what was left in his coffee cup. “would you believe me if i said it was a statement against capitalism?”
“i think i’d be more likely to believe you if you said you were drunk and bored.” they stepped onto set as the last scene was wrapping, and cadence hung back while production transformed the high school set into the one for rosa’s home; jaylen’s character was supposed to be throwing a house party -- that was where cadence and raleigh would meet.
her eyes scanned the room, but jaylen was no where to be found. “huh.” though her scenes weren’t filming until later today, cadence didn’t think she’d want to miss a minute of time with raleigh. 
she’d forgotten he was still standing beside her. “what?”
“i was just wondering where jaylen is,” cadence explained, “my co-star? she was pretty excited to meet you.”
raleigh turned towards her, then, smirking again. “finally. i gotta say, i was pretty disappointed you didn’t seem more star-struck. you know -- when girls treat me normally, it really hurts my feelings.”
she laughed, leaning over to playfully shove her shoulder into his. raleigh made a face at her as though she’d actually hurt him, reaching up to rub at his arm. “hey, easy! save it for the bedroom.” he looked back towards the set. “or... the fake kitchen counter.”
“cadence?” one of the production assistants jogged up to her before she could form a retort. “we’re ready for you.”
she found her mark in the fake kitchen and started making herself a drink. the extras milled around behind her, and as the director called for action, she wondered what the props team had put together to fill the bottles before her with -- on her birthday, they’d given her a full glass of vinegar disguised as water as a prank, and she’d spit it out all over ryan summers in the middle of a take.
raleigh walked into the scene and strolled right up to her. “hey.” he nodded coolly at the red cup in her hands. “what’s your poison?”
cadence surveyed him from behind the plastic rim as she took a sip. thank god it was just water with food dye in it. “i’m not picky when it comes to free alcohol.”
he pulled a red cup from the stack on the kitchen counter and made a drink for himself. “fair enough.” she watched him flick his wrist to swirl the liquid inside the cup around, mixing it together. “what’re we drinking to?”
cadence lifted her drink into the air, smiling sardonically at him. “to my dead boyfriend. his funeral was on tuesday.” she tilted her head back and chugged until the cup was empty, looking challengingly at raleigh once she finished. “cheerful, i know.”
she stared at him as his tongue poked into his cheek. he was a better actor than she’d expected him to be. “i’m sorry for your loss.”
cadence laughed humorlessly. “don’t be.” she sniffed, rubbing her nose with the hand not holding her cup. “any idiot who drives drunk deserves what they get.”
she chewed on her bottom lip, watching the extras leave the kitchen set. when she looked back at him, his gaze was intense -- it felt like he was staring into her soul.
“i’m jason,” he said, holding out his hand. cadence dropped her gaze to it and snorted, rolling her eyes. 
after a beat, she begrudgingly introduced herself. “lexi. you go to brentwood?”
he smirked at her, pushing the hand she refused to take smoothly through his hair. wardrobe had given raleigh a long-sleeved shirt, but she could still see his tattoos peeking out from under the cuffs. “nah, i’m a senior at p.s. 119. i just come to parties like this one to pass out favors to rich kids like you.”
her eyebrows lifted. with intent, she trailed her gaze up and down his body. “what’ve you got?”
raleigh dug in his pockets and pulled out a medicine bottle. he shook a pill into his hand -- the prop department had found something that looked almost fluorescent, under the artificially dim party lighting. “something that’ll help me cheer you up, i think.”
she shrugged, like it was all the same to her. “you can try.”
one of the cameras moved in for a close up. raleigh leaned in. “you’ll have to come and get it,” he said, right before he laid the pill on his own tongue.
cadence laughed, the sound low and throaty. her eyes dropped to his lips, and then she leaned in, pressing their mouths together. 
raleigh gathered her into his arms as the sweet taste of strawberry candy exploded on her tongue. he pushed the candy into her mouth and kissed her hard, his hands moving swiftly to her hips. cadence responded in kind, winding her arms around his neck and slipping her fingers into his hair, holding on tightly.
kissing him was... nothing like kissing chadley. it was nothing like kissing anyone, it was -- something she didn’t think she could have prepared for, even if she’d tried. already, she knew she’d never forget this kiss for as long as she lived. she was going to spend the rest of time comparing everyone she kissed to him, to this, to right now --
raleigh lifted her easily onto the prop kitchen counter, settling his hands on her thighs. cadence shivered as he stepped in close between her spread legs, the hushed noise of the set around them fading away. she wasn’t acting when he pushed his hips forward against hers and she let out a breathless moan of ecstasy, her grip on his hair tightening so she could pull him closer.
“cut! great work, guys. let’s reset and run it again.”
her mouth broke away from his in a daze. cadence dragged the back of her hand across her lips, breathing hard. raleigh barely looked rattled, but she was struggling to get herself together, staring at him with wide eyes.
he smirked at her. “that good, huh?”
cadence blinked. “what -- i --” she reached out and whacked his shoulder. “shut up.”
his thumbs were rubbing little circles on her bare thighs, where the hem of the denim cut-offs she’d been given ended. his laugh was fond and warm -- it didn’t feel like he was laughing at her, exactly. it felt nice, like they were in on the same joke. “it was pretty good for me, too.”
“just pretty good?”
“guys?” the assistant director was looking at them like they were insane, and cadence startled, remembering they’d been instructed to reset. right. now wasn’t the time to be flirting with raleigh carrera, even though he’d just given her an earth-shatteringly good kiss. she was supposed to be working.
she cleared her throat, scrambling to stand again. raleigh waited a beat before moving away, so there were a few heart-stopping seconds where the full length of her body brushed against his. cadence shot him a look from under her false eyelashes as he slinked away.
they ran the scene an agonizing nine more times. by the end of the morning, her lips felt swollen and raw, and her jaw was tingling from the stubble that dotted raleigh’s face. 
and that wasn’t even to mention her nerves, which were alight and on edge after a seemingly endless few hours spent kissing the hottest guy on the face of planet earth. 
raleigh wrapped an arm around her shoulders as production broke down the set around them. “so, can i buy you lunch? i feel like it’s the least i can do.”
“i bet you say that to all the girls,” cadence hummed, leaning against his side. from across the room, she noticed jaylen watching them with narrowed eyes, a frown set on her face. cadence looked away. “did they set you up with a trailer?”
“yeah, but i bet yours is nicer,” he grinned, “since you’re the star, and i’m the guy who brings property damage everywhere he goes.” he had a point. “want to show it to me?”
cadence wondered if he meant the words as the invitation she thought he did. her pulse was racing. still, she nodded. “definitely.”
raleigh wasn’t shy about looking around when she let him inside her trailer. he seemed particularly taken by her large jar of pink starbursts, which he immediately dug his hand into as she dropped down onto the couch. “woah, okay, diva. you make them sort out the other colors?”
“no,” she laughed, “i tweeted once that the pink ones are my favorite, so -- now they just send them to me.”
he grinned obnoxiously at her as he popped one in his mouth. “aren’t the pink ones everyone’s favorite? you’re not so special.”
“god, i hope you don’t talk to every girl you make out with like this,” she laughed, kicking her feet up onto the table in front of the couch. “no wonder everyone thinks you’re such a dick.”
raleigh laid a hand over his heart, looking wounded. “it’s not everyone. just the MARCs.”
“the marks?”
“M-A-R-Cs. mothers against raleigh carrera.” he said the words with a completely straight face. cadence looked at him skeptically.
“no way is that real.”
“wanna bet?” he pulled his phone from his pocket before dropping down onto the couch beside her. the long line of his body took up an inordinate amount of space in her trailer. “see for yourself.”
“huh. they even have a facebook page.” her eyes drifted from the phone screen back to his face, which was suddenly very close. “i guess you are every parent’s worst nightmare.”
raleigh laughed, staring at her for a long moment before moving away, putting some distance between them. “cadence, you flatter me. now -- what do you want for lunch? you need to carb up for this afternoon.”
she rolled over to the end of the couch, grabbing her stack of takeout menus off the side table and presenting them to him with amusement. “we have to film one scene.”
“yeah, but you’ll be in bed with me. that’s -- understandably, of course -- going to be a lot for you.”
cadence leaned over and kicked his ankle. “the show airs in primetime. we’re just going to be waking up together. it’s all in the subtext.”
“hmmm.” his eyes were on the menus, even as he said, “doesn’t mean we can’t bring it into the... foretext.”
she blinked at him. “i don’t think that’s a word.”
raleigh lifted his head. his eyes were serious and intense when they locked on hers, and again cadence found herself helplessly caught in his gaze. “you know what i mean.”
oh, god. was raleigh carrera hitting on her? 
“um.” her eyes dropped to his lips, which quirked up at the corners as soon as he noticed. yeah. he was definitely hitting on her. raleigh carrera. hitting on her. she wondered what jared from ninth grade, who’d told her she was too ugly to go to homecoming with, would say if he was here. 
presumably tired of waiting for her to try to make sentences, raleigh leaned in and kissed her. not because they were rolling, or because he thought they should run lines for later -- but because he wanted to. 
cadence gasped, leaning back against the arm of the couch. raleigh shifted to lean over her, the takeout menus that’d been in his lap falling to the floor as he moved on top of her and pressed in close. 
since they’d filmed wicked midnight’s pilot, there had been a lot of famous people who visited the set. but she’d never done this before with anyone, and she felt more than a little out of her depth as raleigh’s knees pushed her thighs open so he could grind down against her. 
she felt like she was floating. he was a truly exceptional kisser, and the way he looked at her made her feel more than a little dangerous. if she was being honest, cadence wasn’t entirely sure what he thought he saw when he stared at her like he kept doing, but she was hardly in a position to question it when he tore his mouth away from hers, breathing hard, and started kissing down her neck instead.
her head tilted to the opposite side encouragingly, and her fingers found his hair again. “i thought you had a girlfriend,” she panted, the detail stuck in her mind, for some reason. she’d definitely read about it. she had a ridiculous name. peach? pear? plum? 
“who, apricott?” that was it. “god, no. that’s just for press. and i can’t stand her.”
she did seem pretty terrible. “so why do you --”
raleigh lifted his head. cadence had trouble focusing on the expression on his face when one of his large hands was spanning what felt like the entirety of her side under her costume shirt, his thumb mindlessly stroking the skin beneath the waistband of her denim shorts. “look, i like you. so if you want to do this -- i’ll tell my publicist it’s over.” 
what the fuck was happening? “if i want to... do what?”
he shrugged. he had all the confidence of someone who was never turned down. “hang out. see where this goes.”
well, she wasn’t that stupid. “i -- yeah, of course i do. like -- you mean... date, right?”
for a half-second, it looked like he was going to argue with her use of the word ‘date,’ but then that unreadable look was back on his face. raleigh nodded decisively. “yeah. date.” 
“okay, i think you’re asking me out.” her voice was playful again and her racing heartbeat was starting to calm, her thoughts finally getting back on track. she could fake the same level of confidence he had, right? “in which case -- i totally accept, but... you’ll need to pull out all the stops.”
raleigh smirked at her, his grip on her side tightening before his hand relaxed. “oh, yeah? you want a limo full of pink starbursts? dinner on top of the empire state building? a helicopter ride to a walk on the beach? i’ve heard it all before.”
cadence laughed, running her fingers through his hair. the warm smile raleigh gave her made her heartbeat skip. “oh my god, are those your moves? yes, definitely. i want the full raleigh carrera experience.”
his eyebrows bounced up and down, and he wiggled his hips pointedly against hers. “you sure? it could be a long night.”
the laugh she gave him was breathless. cadence felt unbelievably giddy as she sunk her teeth into her bottom lip and watched raleigh’s eyes narrow in on it. “i’m kinda counting on that.”
they made out until their call time, rolling around on her couch like teenagers. cadence couldn’t remember another time she’d kissed anyone for literal hours before. the way raleigh looked at her, disheveled and wanting and flushed, when the pa finally knocked on her trailer door to call for them, made her want to play hooky and blow off returning to set -- just so they could keep doing this. 
her indecision must’ve shown on her face. raleigh pressed his thumb against her bottom lip and sighed heavily. “you are so, so, so beautiful. i can’t wait to introduce you to second base.”
she laughed. “i have been there before, you know.”
raleigh’s hands slid slowly down her body, full of intent. “not with me.”
the poor pa knocked on her door again. “um, ms. dorian? you’re really needed on set, now.”
cadence lifted her hand to push at his shoulder. “get up, you’re going to get me in trouble.”
his fingers trailed ever-so-lightly over her bare thigh. “what’s life without a little trouble? besides, they literally can’t start without us. they can wait a few minutes.”
her hands moved to his messy hair, trying her best to smooth it back down. “they’re going to have to. we’re going to need another round of hair and makeup. and zadie’s going to kill me when she finds that thread you ripped.”
raleigh shrugged unrepentantly. “it was loose.” the unimpressed look she leveled him with made him sigh again. “fine, goody-two-shoes. we’ll go to set. but you’re in for it, later.”
anticipation sang through her, quick and thrilling. “oh, yeah?”
he groaned and rolled to stand. “don’t start, or i’ll never let you go. come on.”
every eye in the studio followed them when they stepped into the bedroom scene. they separated to get changed, and cadence blushed all over when she traded her nondescript top and shorts for just a bra and panties, prompting zadie to hone her gaze in on the fresh hickey starting to bloom across her collarbone. “i love the commitment. very method.”
cadence stalked off back towards the bed; raleigh was already shirtless and under the sheets, scrolling through his phone. for a moment, she pretended like they were at home in her apartment, and let herself really look at him. he looked good -- great. incredible.
he whistled at her when he saw her. that didn’t help her blush. a few members of the lighting crew laughed, double checking the scene when she slipped into the bed beside him.
katie from makeup came over with powder. she didn’t say anything about cadence’s hickey, even when raleigh very obviously leaned in, pressed his thumb against it and laughed, “oh, shit. sorry about that.”
it would have been a perfect time for the ground to open up and swallow her whole, but they started rolling, instead.
cadence had her back to raleigh, his arm slung low across her waist. lexi was supposed to wake up first, so she did, holding up a hand against the artificial bright light of the fake sun-filled window in her face. she groaned, pressing against her forehead, and then noticed the arm around her and slowly turned towards raleigh. 
her eyes went wide. “jason?”
she had to bite the inside of her cheek to stifle the smile that threatened as raleigh woke up so adorably. he made a soft, sleepy sound of confusion from beside her, cracking one eye open. “lexi. i thought i dreamt that.”
her expression was gentle for a split second before it hardened. she shook her head. “it was just a one-time thing,” she insisted brusquely, pulling away. “i was drunk.”
“you weren’t that drunk.” 
cadence was pointedly not looking at him. “we were high.”
raleigh laughed. “that, i’ll give you.” as she moved to get up out of the bed, his arm swung out and grabbed her, holding her still. “hey.”
she looked back at him expectantly. raleigh was great at acting nervous, swallowing hard while his eyes darted around the room. “can i see you again?”
cadence shook her head. “i don’t think so.”
“why not?”
“because... i’m a mess, jason. look at me. i deserve to be alone.”
“lexi...”
she shook her head, pulling out of his hold. raleigh let her go, and she started moving around the set by the bed, picking up the pieces of her outfit. “forget it.”
he slid to the edge of the bed, sitting on the mattress in just his briefs. both she and her character were trying not to stare. “you know, for what it’s worth... i don’t think you’re a mess. i think you’re pretty cool. and you’re -- you’re going to be okay, lexi.”
her lips pursed. her voice wavered when she said, “you don’t even know me.”
raleigh stood, crowding into her space. “actually, i think i know you better than you think. so that’s why... i’m okay with saying goodbye.” his eyes searched her face. “can i kiss you one last time?”
cadence drew in a shallow breath and nodded. raleigh cupped her face in his hands, holding her jaw steady, and kissed her hard. she had to actively fight the urge to pull him closer, knowing that lexi was still resistant to letting him get close -- but it was hard, when raleigh was such an expert kisser, the movement of his mouth against hers making her weak in the knees.
she was almost relieved when the director called, “cut! that was great, guys. we definitely got it. raleigh -- thanks for coming out, man. awesome stuff today. hopefully we can have you back soon.”
he reached out and ruffled her hair, grinning brightly. “only if you keep sticking me with this one.” cadence elbowed him in the side. “seriously, thanks for having me. this was really cool.”
zadie was holding out a robe for her. cadence reluctantly stepped out from raleigh’s body heat and put it on, smiling softly at the way he pouted when she tied it closed. 
he stepped up close and lowered his voice so none of the many, many people moving around them could hear. “so, are you done for the day? can i buy you a drink?”
“ooooh, are we going out for drinks?” somehow, jaylen stepped up between them, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “hi, i don’t think we got a chance to meet, yet. jaylen riaz -- i play rosa martinez.”
“...right. good to meet you. i’m raleigh.”
jaylen laughed as though he’d just made a funny joke. “of course i know who you are, silly. do you think i live under a rock?”
raleigh’s eyes were begging for help. cadence leaned in between them. “you should totally meet us when you’re wrapped for the day. i’ll text you where we wind up, but -- first we need to grab some food.”
“right.” raleigh’s lips twitched. “we skipped lunch.”
the memory of what they’d been doing instead threatened to make her blush, but cadence fought it off, wary of the way jaylen was looking back and forth between the two of them. “okay,” she said finally, her voice slow and thoughtful, “sounds fun.”
fortunately, they made it back to her trailer before she lost it, dissolving into giggles. cadence leaned her back against the closed door as her shoulders shook with laughter. “god,” she grinned, “you are such a dick.”
“me?” raleigh demanded, “what about you? you should totally meet us.” 
“okay, i do not sound like that.” cadence dropped her robe and started getting dressed in the clothes she’d wore to set that morning, what felt like a hundred years ago. “and i was just being nice. she totally likes you, she’s going to be so pissed at me when she finds out this is, like, a thing.”
“i guess i am irresistible,” he sighed, expertly ducking the t-shirt she threw at him. “i can’t fault her for her good taste.”
“it’s amazing your ego even fits in here.” she reached for her purse, pulling out her phone. she’d hardly looked at it all day, and it was alive with activity -- her manager had texted her about... forty-five times. cadence scrolled down to the bottom and saw the message that started it all: what’s this i hear about you getting cozy on set with raleigh carrera? sure you want to go down that road?
she grimaced. “let me guess,” raleigh said, cutting through her thoughts, “someone doesn’t want you getting messed up with me.”
cadence hesitated, her non-answer an answer on its own. he dragged his tongue across his teeth. “it’s really up to you, though, isn’t it?”
it was. “yeah,” she nodded, “and i don’t care about any of that, anyway. are you sure i’m not causing trouble for you? what about your fake girlfriend?”
he rolled his eyes. “she’ll get over it. as long as you’re okay, i’m okay.”
she smiled. “i’m okay,” cadence confirmed, “whatever happens -- i can handle it.” the look he was giving her was difficult to decipher, but she thought he might be pleased. she hesitated. “you’re... sure you want to do this, though? it’s okay if you just got caught up in the story.” 
“uh, hello? i already slept with lexi d’agosto, remember?” the obnoxious grin he was wearing softened at the sight of the expression on her face. “cadence, i’m sure. i like you. i want to hang out more -- see where this goes. you’re the one i should be double-checking.” 
“no way.” she gestured for him to follow her out of her trailer, into the film lot. “you’re not going to get out of giving me the full raleigh carrera experience. i don’t care what it costs you to buy out the empire state building.”
he laughed, his hand finding hers to link their fingers together. “i think you’ll change your tune after the blogs get wind of this, but -- fair enough.”
eventually, they reached the security gate. she’d have to walk them out into the street to find the car that was waiting for her, and if her manager had already heard the rumors sparking from their day on set, that meant that it was likely a few photographers had, too. once they left the film lot, there was no going back.
raleigh squeezed her hand. “ready for your life to get messier?”
things had been awfully predictable, lately. “definitely. ready for yours to get more awesome?”
“oh, absolutely.” together, they started off down the street. camera flashes exploded behind her eyelids, but she kept her head down, fighting a smile all the way to the car.
at least whatever happened next was bound to be interesting.
70 notes · View notes
radiorenjun · 5 years ago
Text
Lavender Antics.
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→ Pairing: Han Jisung X Reader
→ Summary: Shooting in a drama with him was your absolute nightmare. Working with your enemy and pretending that you were love interests has been the most frustrating experience of your life. Though, after saying your farewells, the scent of lavender never leaves.
→ Genre:enemies to lovers au, idol au, romance, angst, slowburn.
→ Warnings: Very hurtful words. Antics. Mentions of insecurity. Alcohol, Swearing, Making out. Suggestive?
→ Word Count:
→ Chapters: 1, 2, 3
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You tucked your phone in your pocket as you entered the dance studio to be greeted by your group members stretching and warming up. "Hey y/n!" they greeted in unison, making you smile at how their cheerful aura greeted your exhausted figure. "Hi," you replied shortly, dropping your dufflebag near theirs on the floor.
"How was filming?" Jaehwa asked, letting out a groan when Haneul pushed her back down as she did a split. "The usuals: Jeongin being a crackhead, the director shoving it into our faces that we're going to Tokyo, that donkey being insufferable. Same as always," you chuckle, joining them as you stretched your arms.
"Oh yeah! I forgot you're leaving for Tokyo soon. When are you going again?" Cheonsa exclaimed, massaging her ankles. "Honestly, first Cheonsa was on hiatus. Now you're on hiatus just for some drama film?" Jaehwa chuckled. You rolled your eyes at Kiyeon before answering Cheonsa's question, "Im leaving in two days. I'll be out of your hair for a whole month so enjoy it while you can," you joked.
"Believe me, I know I will." Kiyeon responded, taking a sip of her caffeine. "Oh hush, you'll miss me when I leave." you snickered as you hit her shoulder playfully. "Since you're leaving your dearest best friends behind for some dick, you better treat us to something tomorrow." Cheonsa exclaimed.
"I want steak!" she added with a bright smile. You lifted your fist as if you were gonna punch her, sucking your lip into your mouth as you growled out. "Why you lil-" Jaehwa sat up from her split and patted your thigh, "don't kill anyone just yet, y/n. You still have alot to live for. Plus I don't wanna be the one getting you out of prison," she sighed.
"Cheonsa's not wrong though. You should treat us to something before you leave," Haneul nodded in agreement, making Cheonsa let out a victory cheer at her statement. "I agree. Last time, y'all completely ditched me in that restaurant leaving me to pay that tremendous bill when you all said we were gonna split it!" Kiyeon grumbled.
"It was all planned, by the way." you smirked with a chuckle. "It was Cheonsa's idea for a prank, too." Jaehwa smiled with a nod. Kiyeon glared at our leader who was giving her an innocent peace sign. "Man, I'm really gonna miss you guys when I'm in Tokyo." you sighed, laying your cheek on your palm as your elbow stood on your thighs.
"Of course you will, you can't live without us." Kiyeon chuckled, giving a soft punch to your shoulder. "And Im leaving," you pretended to stand up as the girls chuckled at your reaction. You giggled as you retreated to your former position. "Man, who am I going to talk to in Tokyo when you idiots aren't there?" you whined.
"Yang Jeongin? Or that makeup artist, she looks really nice when I came to visit you on set." Haneul suggested. "Stop acting as if it's the end of the world, you fucking drama queens. Video chatting and texting exists, too, you know." Jaehwa patted your back. You smiled softly at your friends.
"Wait, you're saying that y/n isn't going to die? Damn, I made a whole song and funeral and everything." Cheonsa said in a sardonic tone, causing the whole group to laugh. "You wish. You're stuck with me, get used to it." you wrapped your arm around her shoulder and pulled her to a side hug.
"I really hope our contract ends soon." Cheonsa uttered jokingly. "Very funny," you rolled your eyes with a smile on your face. "By the way, have you heard that Chen-sunbaenim is getting married?" Haneul gossiped in a dramatically posh-popular girl tone. "Oh my god, what? Ugh, I can't believe some girl took away my sunbae," you mocked her tone.
"Isn't Sehun your bias, though?" Kiyeon laughed. You nodded with a laugh, dropping the whole fancy act, "though, it wasn't a surprise, really. I mean, whenever I walk by there's always this girl he keeps hanging out with, I'm guessing that's her." you informed.
"Can't believe we're gossiping bout our seniors." Jaehwa shook her head with a chuckle. "What? It's already made public, it's basically the trending topic of the hour. I hope I get invited though, I wanna see my childhood idol get married. God, we're becoming old, girls!" Cheonsa whined, flapping her hands aimlessly.
"You're becoming old, that is. I'm still younger than you," you teased. "Oh hush, just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean I'm getting old for fucks sake. You're probably gonna date that Jisung guy in the future, just wait and see." she tutted with a point of her finger. You pretended to gag, laying a palm on your chest as you stuck your tongue out in disgust. "No thank you," you croaked dramatically.
"I rather date, Shrek, himself than that stubborn cheesecake stealing donkey." you clenched your jaw angrily. "You know, he's not that bad. From what I see in interviews, he looks like a really nice guy to hang out with," Kiyeon shrugged, taking her coffee cup to her lips.
"That is, if he doesn't hate you for no absolute reason!" you exclaimed, flailing your hands up dramatically. "Well, it seems like you hate him too so you're both in the wrong." she smirked. "I do hate him, if that wasn't clear. But he started it first! If he wasn't such a dick then maybe I would've considered him a friend!" you huffed.
"You're being over dramatic. What did he do that was so bad to make you hate him anyways?" Jaehwa rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh. You paused, recalling the unpleasant memory, "I don't wanna talk about that." you mumbled, looking at your hands.
"Jesus Fucking Christ," Kiyeon grumbled. "Shouldn't we practice?" she asked. "We should, but we really need a break so let's just slack off for a while and get back to practise in a couple of minutes." Haneul suggested. Cheonsa was about to retort when her phone rang, her face lit up at the sight.
"The bf is calling, do what you want. But when I get back, be prepared to be trained hard vocally and physically." she chuckled, walking out of the room with her phone vibrating like crazy in hand. As the door swung shut, there was a peaceful yet awkward moment of silence. "So what now?" you asked.
"Have you packed yet?" Haneul asked, ignoring your question. You scratched your head at the thought, "kinda, but most of my clothes that I already packed are just sweaters and shorts." you shrugged. "I'll help you pack once we get back to the dorm, you always under pack and borrow my clothes or shop for really tacky ones in supermarket stores." Jaehwa laughed.
"Oh hush, I just like wearing comfy clothes!" you chuckled. "Unfortunately for you, comfy clothes isn't an option for this comeback." she grinned with a snap, causing you to roll your eyes at her statement. "Shut up," you groaned.
The door opened slightly, attracting your attention as Cheonsa's head poked through. "Hey girls, I'm about to go to the other dance studios real quick, alright?" she informed with an excited smile before exiting the room once again, grabbing her waterbottle in the process without letting any of us respond to her.
"Appointing her as our leader was the number one worst mistakes of our careers," you announced aloud, causing the girls to laugh and nod in agreement. "Couldn't agree more, y/n. Couldnt agree more," Jaehwa laughed.
A few seconds later, the door opened once again and Cheonsa's head poked into the room. "By the way, you're really gonna treat us to food right?" she grinned with a hopeful and teasing glint in her expression. You chuckled, waving your hand to dismiss her as she laughed and exit the door.
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"Guys, is that really necessary?" you chuckled, looking at your members after you checked if your passport and ticket was there. Your members had thoughtfully decided to drop you off at the airport, while wearing unessecary disguises such as a Mona Lisa costume, a moustached detective, Dwayne Johnson's face duct taped to a clown mask and Oli London's face carved from cardboard.
"Yes it is. It's important for us to not be recognized by the public and drop our little y/n off to school." Kiyeon responded, shamelessly fidgeting with her detective hat. "If you guys are gonna walk out looking like that, not only y'all are gonna get recognized by the people, you'll also embarrass me and cause more drama online!" you laughed, crossing your arms as you entered the airport gate.
"Hush, I'm parking the car. You don't want me to make this long and miss your flight do you?" Cheonsa gave you the stink eye through the rearview mirror, gazing at your through her long wig. "Honestly, y'all are gonna be accused as weirdos and get escorted out." you pursed your lips as the car stopped.
"What's so wrong bout wanting to drop off our member?" Jaehwa asked, nudging your shoulder as she shifted her Oli London mask back on to cover her face. "Thank you for the ride," you rolled your eyes and stepped out of the vehicle, quickly grabbing your suitcases and running off before your members could spot you.
As you ran, you lifted your phone to call your manager, informing him where you are. "I'm in the station already, where are you?" you asked, looking around as it was almost 10 minutes til boarding time. "You what?" you gaped at your managers response.
"Hey ugly!" a familiar voice yelled through the crowded room. You winced at the sound of the voice and chuckled nervously at your manager, "you couldn't just come here yourself?" you exclaimed nervously. "Right, you have to check on the other staff." you nodded before rubbing the space inbetween your eyes, ignoring the voice yelling your name behind you that was getting louder and louder.
"Hey ugly!" Jisung exclaimed, showing his pearly white teeth as he layed a hand on your shoulder. You glared at him, giving him the stink eye at the nickname which caused him to chuckle. He has been calling you thathighly insultive nickname since that scene you had to do with you being pushed to a puddle of mud, smearing your face in it.
Playing the role of the bullied popular girl has never been so tough when Jisung became your real life bully. "Hello donkey," you spat as your manager spoke his last words bout checking the VIP tickets and hanging up without giving you a second to reason with him.
"Im here to pick you up!" he chuckled, his heart shaped lips forming a bright smile that never left his face. You shuddered before gripping the handle of your suitcase tightly, "I am very much aware, thank you very much." you answered with a shaky breath.
"Let me help you with your suitcase," his hand reached to grab one or your suitcase which you slapped away due to your suspicion. "I don't trust you enough with my suitcase, who knows you might leave it here when we board." You said with a raise of your eyebrow.
He frowned at your words, his lips forming a scowl before he rolled his eyes. "I was just trying to be nice, sheesh, don't need to be a bitch about it." he shot back, pulling the straps of his backpack to his shoulder before leading you forward to where the rest of the cast were sitting.
You felt his hand hit your back gently, you flinched at the contact looking back at him as you cursed in response. "What the fuck was that for?" you exclaimed, looking back at Jisung. Jisung just looked at you with an unbothered expression, "Chill out, Ms.Y/n. I'm being nice here, there was a bug on your back and I took care of it for you," he rolled his eyes.
"You're welcome." He smirked, crossing his arms as you glared at him suspiciously before sitting down with a nod. You continued to speak with your co-worker, Yeoreum, who was playing the role of your bully. Despite her role, she's an absolute sweetheart.
"I see you and Jisung are bickering, once again." Yeoreum smirked, offering you a lollipop which you happily accepted. "Im not surprised anymore, it's become a daily routine now." you sighed, sipping your lemon tea. "Your members didn't come to say goodbye?" she asked, "I wanted to see them before we leave."
"Trust me, they did. They dropped me off and dressed up as if tonight's Halloween or something. But to be honest, if I didn't leave them alone I would've been bombarded with more paparazzis than I was three minutes ago," you chuckled, showing her a picture of them with their ridiculous costumes on your phone.
She burst out laughing, grabbing your phone in her hands. "When we arrived at the hotel, we're definitely video chatting them to see if they still have those ridiculous outfits on, right?" she smirked. "I don't know... Im probably gonna feel to tired to even open my eyes," you joked, earning a strong push from her.
"Y/n!" she whined, shaking your figure vigorously. Jeongin groaned, feeling interrupted from his game. "Director-nim! Yeoreum is bullying me!" you laughed, whining playfully. "Would you guys shut up, you're distracting us from our game!" Jisung complained as he tried to focus what's happening on the screen of the Nintendo Switch before him.
"Shut up, donkey." you chuckled as you lined up for the VIP section of the plane. You heard Jisung snickering behind you, only to be smacked by a disappointed Jeongin who was shaking his head in disapproval. "Honestly, why are you like this?" he mumbled.
"Shut up," Jisung laughed, nudging his friend as you continued to walk towards your seat, subtly giving him a look filled with suspicion. "What's wrong with him?" you muttered to yourself, sucking your lollipop as you sat down next to one of the staff who was already fast asleep.
You plucked in your earphones and fidget in your seat to get into a comfortable position, you turned on your favorite playlist and relaxed in your seat, drifting off to sleep in a matter of minutes.
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You stretched as you exited the plane and entered the airport, reuniting with the rest of the cast. Jisung was giggling behind you despite his tired eyes boring into yours. You raised your brow, "what are you laughing bout?" you asked with a croaky voice.
"It's 2 in the morning, what could you possibly be laughing bout?" you repeated in a cranky tone. He giggled before shaking his head at you, continuing to grab his suitcases. You huffed at the peculiar boy giggling away infront of you, rubbing your eyes to try and wake yourself up a lil bit more til you arrive at the hotel.
"Hey y/n. Is that sign on your back always there?" Yeoreum asked, dragging her suitcase behind her, pointing at your back. Your eyes widened as your arms quickly reach to venture your back, feeling a piece of paper taped to the fabric of your hoodie.
You gripped it and pulled it away from your hoodie, taking a closer look at the slightly crumpled paper. "What the fuck?" you whispered under your breathe almost inaudibly. Written in bold letters was a big 'KICK ME' in an oh-too familiar handwriting.
You growled, crumpling the piece of paper and tossing it into a garbage bin. "Han Jisung, I am going to slaughter you!" you exclaimed, running up to him who surprisingly ran for his life. Due to your lack of sleep, you were a little slower than him so you gave up.
You spotted him hiding behind his manager, his head poking out. He looked at you with eyes wide awake, grinning like the cheeky bastard he is, you raised a fist at him. He stuck his tongue out playfully at your small threat. You raised a middle finger at him in response.
"Alright then, once the bus to the hotel arrives, sleep as much as you can. We're going to start filming late this noon til midnight, so get all the rest you can." the director announce with a yawn, going through the files and looking at his wrist watch.
The whole staff groaned including you who was checking your phone, notifying your parents and members bout your safety. "I take it back, I'm gonna be sleeping like a pig for the next ten hours" you groaned at your costar. "Geez, weak." Jisung chuckled before yawning into his mouth.
"Im sorry, Mr donkey. I didn't order a glass of your opinion," you rolled your eyes at him. As the bus came to a stop infront of you, you yawned taking the first step with Jisung half asleep beside you. You chuckled to yourself at the sight of the older boy yawning and rubbing his sleepy eyes.
This was going to be a long month.
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lions-in-hats · 6 years ago
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Plance where they go to a drive-in for a date but they can't get the sound to come through the car radio so they sub the whole movie
So, this spun into a whole 50s AU oneshot, hope you’re proud and it’s more of a ‘Hunk wants them to get together so he abandons them last minute’ than an actual date. But I still deliver. 
Ad-Libbed 
Words: 1,893Rating: T Summary: Drive In’s were considered immoral, but Pidge finds that they can be enjoyable. 
The Barefoot Contessa, they had been all planning to go together. The three of them, months ago, the film was about three years old these days and Pidge would have preferred to see something else entirely, say The Curse of Frankenstein that looked far more interesting than a film about a washed-up movie director that Lance dragged his two best friends to every time the small drive-in showed it.
And Hunk, the lucky one out of the two of them had begged off to go out dancing with Romelle instead.
So, it was just her and Lance… Not that she told her Mother that, she didn’t need her parents stalking over and locking her up in the house. Until her thirties.
That was not an attractive prospect, “Let me do it, Lance.” She offered as he tried to connect the car up to the speakers, “I’ve done it before.”
“Don’t worry you’re head about it.” Lance waves her off before he jumps back sucking his fingers and waving them off before shoving his hand in the pocket of his blue letterman’s jacket, he turned towards her. She crossed her arms raising an eyebrow at him, “Maybe you should try…”
Pidge stalked over, glad she’d opted for pants instead of a skirt tonight, uncrossing her arms and moving the wires and the connectors before she concluded that they were shot, she reported as much to Lance.
“So now what do we do? Steal another speaker?” He asked, a wind blew through and she shivered, it was the summer why did the evenings have to get cold too? Why didn’t she predict this and bring a proper jacket and not just the light green cardigan-
Something heavy slips over her shoulders, it’s Lance’s jacket and he’s pulling open his car’s door for her, “Thank you.” She mumbled, sliding into the passenger’s seat while he walked around and got into the driver’s side of the car, “We could always make up our own lines?”
Lance taps his fingers on the steering wheel, “Yeah…” He seems to think for a moment, before looking up at the screen “I can go get some popcorn, want anything to drink?”
“Coke please.” She reaches for her small purse but he pushes her hands away, “Lance…” Her tone is a little warning, but he’s already up and out of the car before she can pull out a couple dollars.
Pidge sighs, breathing in the scent of Lance’s jacket in the process and… She hated this, hated that it was almost second nature for him to act like the perfect gentleman, to give up his jacket when he’s got to be just as cold as she is.
His jacket smells like him, all spices from his house that she knew his Mother and Grandmother loved to use in their cooking.
She hates that it makes her feel so at peace.
The movie begins to start and Lance isn’t back yet, she can see him just barely through the wing mirrors on his blue corvette, still shiny and new and perfect she hoped he’d bring it into the shop for her to check on but it wasn’t due for a service yet… He was chatting with the girl at the concessions stand and Pidge looks away as fast as she can.
She doesn’t have the right to feel jealous, she’s not Lance’s girlfriend. She’s not Lance’s anything, even if the implications of her and him being out alone at this time of night weren’t awful she’d still be nothing but an old friend to him.
Pulling her ponytail tight at the back of her head she turns to watch the screen as the first flashback to Maria’s funeral starts, gods. She wishes that were her right now, Maria didn’t have to deal with being so close but still unable to touch the man she… No, that wasn’t true. She knew exactly how Pidge felt.
Her arms slide into the sleeves of Lance’s jacket, just as his door opens and he hooks one foot in, holding out her coke open and fizzing lightly, she takes it and takes a sip as he slides in another coke bottle in his other hand and a large popcorn in the other.
“What did I miss?” He asks excitedly settling down in his seat as he puts the popcorn down between their seats, he looks up at the screen then “Oh, just the opening scenes that’s great.”
She nods, picking up some popcorn from the bucket and eating it before he attempts more conversation before he says “Oh! Maria, I’m gonna make you a star!” Just as Harry and Maria meet for the first time, though neither actors have spoken on screen.
Despite herself, she smiles, “Are you really?” She puts on her softest voice, she sounds nothing like Ava Gardner at all, “Oh Harry, that would be simply wonderful!”
She laughs, he joins in and they continue on until they get to the bedroom kiss scene a while later, she’s leant back against his chair, coke finished as she reaches for some more popcorn, “I love you.” She hears Lance say, so softly that she almost thinks he’s saying it to her.
“We can’t be together,” Pidge replies, playing along until.
“What does that mean?” His tone is hurt and she sits up, turning towards him, finding him staring straight at her before his cheeks colour and he seems to get it, “Right, um yeah movie we should just keep-”
“Lance.” It’s all she has to say for him to stop, “Lance did you just say I love you? To me?”
“Pfft, as if… I was still doing his lines that’s all.”
She knows Lance, she’s known him for years.
So she definitely knows when he’s lying.
Pidge cocks her head at him slightly, watching his face as it gets redder and redder as she leans closer to him. She knows it’s immoral to be this close to a boy, close enough that she can feel the heat radiating off of his face- Though she was sure most of it was from hers -and watches him carefully.
Watches as he stops moving, looks her in the eyes and she can tell but the little back and forth tilt in his chin that he’s considering something.
She was only ever kissed once before when she was twelve and someone proclaimed their love for her in the middle of a game before kissing her. It hadn’t been nice, so she didn’t really count it as her first.
Lance’s nose brushes hers as he leans forward and kisses her in one fell swoop and… She’s breathless, tense and he’s kissing her.
Lance was kissing her.
There’s this tiny moment, this tiny doubt in her mind that maybe this is all a dream but she doesn’t let it get too far before she snuffs it out and kisses him back.
They pull away and she lands back in her seat, blinking and then…. “Do that again.” She finds herself asking quietly, movie forgotten completely as he visibly jumps at her request.
“Are you…” He licks his lips, sitting up and reaching his hands over to cup her cheeks, his thumb brushes the corner of her mouth and her breath hitches because of it, “Are you sure?”
“Very.” She replies and leans up to kiss him again.
He meets her halfway before she jumps forwards with her arms around his neck and his back against the car door.
They don’t break apart until they need to breathe again.
When he pulls up to her house the following Monday morning, Hunk in the backseat with his arm around Romelle’s shoulders and the top down she takes the steps from her house two at a time as she slides into the passenger seat.
His jacket is still on her shoulders as he pulls away from the curve, “Good time at the Drive-in Pidge?” Hunk asks loudly over the wind as the car takes off towards school, she smiles carefully at him, leaning back in her seat in Lance’s car.
There were whispers, because when weren’t there whispers. More so than when Allura Leon had shown up to school at the beginning of her senior year on the back of Keith Kogane’s bike wearing his leather jacket because their school loved to gossip about anything that moved.
And the topic was that Lance McClain was walking Katie Holt everywhere, their hands linked together. It wasn’t unusual to see them together of course, but she wasn’t just his friend now.
“My girl.” Lance murmured into her ear before he dropped her off at advanced mathematics so he could head to the gym, she smiled at him as he walked away. Whispers starting almost as soon as they parted.
But she liked how that sounded.
“My girl.”
It was a dizzy kind of warmth that echoed from the words before she shoved all thoughts of romance from her head to focus on the advanced equations in front of her.
“Hunk, which one do you think says ‘Go Steady’?” He was anxious as he shifted through the different kinds of small token necklaces in a shop downtown, there were hearts and plain chains and ones with names on them but none of them felt right to him, “What did you get for Romelle when you asked her to be your girlfriend?”
“I gave her my class ring.” Hunk replied, looking around the small shop before he rung the bell “Allura!” He called out into the backroom, the aforementioned appeared with simple clicks of her heels a moment later.
She looked them both over and smiled at Hunk, “Finally?”
“Finally.” He speaks with a wide smile and Allura squeals, Lance has to cover his ears as he watches his friend run back into the back room and come out holding a box.
His eyebrows furrow at it, “What’s that?”
“Oh, just some things Pidge has been eyeing for a while now…” She flips open the lid and he looks at a few pendants made of silver- “And titanium.”
He knows it immediately when he sees it.
“That one.”
The green dress is soft in shape and she’s comfortable, her heels a nice enough height for her but she left her neck bare, as there’s a knock on the door downstairs and she’s taking them two at a time.
“Katie.” Her Mother hisses and she slows down, as her Father answers the door and she hears him greeting Lance before they appear in the living room.
She can actually register the minute his brain stops working, there’s something in his hand. A star-shaped pendant that she saw in Leon’s shop once or twice, it shines in the living room lights as Colleen tells her husband to find the camera.
“Be my girlfriend?” His voice is quiet and hopeful and…
“Of course Lance.”
When her parents reappear with the camera, the necklace is warm against her chest.
And Pidge is very thankful to The Barefoot Contessa.
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torentialtribute · 6 years ago
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Time for Cardiff to care about money was BEFORE Emiliano Sala died 
Again, Cardiff had undoubtedly acted differently in dealing with the transfer and affairs of Emiliano Sala. The fact is that they did not.
They do not pay attention to their return from a private journey to France ; they did not ask too many questions about the interest in their services from other clubs; they were not too curious about who had received what and why, from his transfer.
Until they stayed behind with a £ 15 million bill for a dead rush. Sorry, but that's the bottom line. This is all that it is about now: the bottom line. The dignified ceremonies and speeches are over and what remains is the coldest, hardest dispute about money.
Had the Piper PA-46 Malibu controlled by David Ibbotson landed safely in January 21, Sala was now fully engaged in Cardiff's fight against relegation, had he scored the goals Cardiff hoped they were buying, there would be nothing more to see about any of the goals.
Not only the rent, ownership and stewardship of a light aircraft, but questions about discounts from agents and inflated fees and third-party ownership and Bordeaux 50 percent.
Cardiff does not ask FIFA, FA or the police, according to the latest shipments, to investigate any of their other transfer deals or negotiations.
They do not want them to poke around in the six that related to Unique Sports Management, the company that counts Neil Warnock & # 39; s, for example, is James among his employees. James Warnock is believed to have been involved in Cardiff cases involving at least three players – Sean Morrison, Rhys Healey and Craig Noone – but the club seems happy with that.
They also seem to have no problem with Jack McKay, his Willie McKay who helped to mediate the room deal, signing a two and a half year contract as a professional at the club in January 2018 , despite having less than an exceptional career
McKay started his career at Doncaster – a club with which his father was involved – before he was loaned to Ilkeston, signed for Leeds, loaned to Airdrieonians, signed for Cardiff, and lent to Chesterfield in the National League. Given Cardiff took third place in the championship and pursued Premier League promotion after McKay's signing, this seems an excellent, if not a player who was already 21 and scored only one goal, for Airdrieonians against Peterhead in the third category Scottish football.
McKay is actually a striker.
By happy coincidence, another son of Willie, the twin brother of Jack, Paul, was also considered good enough to be signed. by Cardiff, at exactly the same time. He had also been with Doncaster and Ilkeston, as well as with Gainsborough Trinity and finally Leeds, where he had played one game against non-ally Sutton United in the FA Cup.
This checkered family tree, It was enough to get him a contract with Cardiff until 2020, just like his brother. Paul is now on loan to Morecambe, currently in League Two, where he played 18 games over four matches.
So nothing there that Cardiff might want to see FIFA or the FA – much like the transfer of Sol Bamba, whose move from Leeds was led by Mark McKay, also the son of Willie, through his company ExCel Foot.
Bamba went from the season 2016-17 as the captain of Leeds United to his contract canceled after four games, which means that Cardiff has been added as a free agent.
Cardiff won widespread praise for their worthy dealings with the
They were respectful, they were appropriate, their manager Warnock spoke sincerely about his emotions, their fans Reaction with empathy and heat on the loss.
Then Nantes set the first account.
This is the club that in the year they last degraded from the Premier
This is the club that, after having dismissed Malky Mackay as manager and Iain Moody as sports director, late accusations were made both for unlawful actions regarding transfers and interim payments, which remain unproven, with the case overturned in March 2017. Much of the anger of that time was concentrated around the signing of a young striker, Andreas Cornelius, for a then record price of £ 8m from FC Copenhagen. Cornelius, like Sala, would score the goals to keep Cardiff in the Premier League. He was a nasty flop and failed to find the net in one of his eleven matches.
Vincent Tan, the owner, blamed Mackay and Moody, as if the transfer market is an exact science. I have argued that the real compensation for Cornelius – who has since gone back to Copenhagen, Atalanta in the Serie A and currently Bordeaux – was £ 10 million and that his wage was £ 45,000 per week.
Had he been able to prove that Mackay or Moody acted shamefully, he might have tried to withhold or collect payments to Copenhagen. Room was also a record amount. Does this pattern sound familiar?
Take numbers 2-6, which relate to the crash itself.
Who made the decision to put a room in the room? on the plane Why does not the owner of the plane come forward? Did the plane have a license to take commercial passengers? Was pilot Ibbotson in possession of a permit to transport passengers?
These are things for Cardiff, not for Nantes. The refusal of the club to take responsibility for the bygone journey of Sala would be sad if it was not so tragic. On 19 January Sala & # 39; s transfer was announced by the club.
& # 39; It has been a long process to secure the services of Emiliano, but I am very glad that we are now in a position where we can confirm his signature, & # 39; said chief executive Ken Choo. I'm sure all Cardiff City fans will join me to see that we're drawing our records in a Bluebirds shirt. & # 39;
Sounds quite unambiguous. So why are the Nantes cases that organized his trip two days later? It is said that Cardiff has sent a text message with some British Airways flight options. That is it? A text? No follow-up conversation? No insistence on planned routes?
Cardiff may not have known the exact shortcomings of the arrangements, but let's not pretend they were all over it. This is their record signature – and they do not know who they put him on the plane? They do not know who owned the plane? They do not even know if the flight, or the pilot, had a permit?
Questions 7-10 regarding the transfer: was the space owned by a third party? Yes. Are Sala & # 39; s previous Club Bordeaux due 50% of the transfer fee as part of a resale clause negotiated in 2015? What was transfer from broker Willie McKay? Was McKay's commission, or part of the transfer fee, to be split between other parties involved in the deal – if so, who?
Do they ask the same questions about the Bamba deal? Do they ask why Leeds would cancel their captain's contract and let him go to a rival from the same division?
Do they ask why a club months away from promotion to the Premier League twin brothers would draw whose football experience places them anywhere near that level?
What does Bordeaux want with Cardiff, do you want to see McKay's assignment? None of this is their business;
If someone is still in the dark about motivation, question No 1 should provide clarity: was Sala a Nantes player when I stepped on the fatal flight?
The Premier League also stated that it is not possible to refer to the President of the United Kingdom. that the international transfer certificate of Sala was registered with the FA of Wales, and that he was mentioned in a squadron registered at the death of the Premier League. Cardiff needs to know this, so why are they asking?
Were Cardiff taken for a ride on Room? Remove possible. For unknown reasons, Willie McKay thought it would be useful to reveal an e-mail he had sent to Sala. Prior to the move, which said that he deliberately released stories about the pursuit of rival clubs to only interest you.
Is that ethical? No. It's usual? Absolutely. The media is full of stories planned by agents, by clubs, by managers, by players, to promote their business, to expand markets.
According to reports, Room, who had a productive start of the season
Cardiff could not figure that out? It was not a big deal, but it was not a big deal. They had no other agents to ask, no friends, no allies in boardrooms or backroom staff? Not to mention names, but to find out in which areas a club might look. Of the six noted, only two added a striker to their team in January. Crystal Palace took Michy Batshuayi on loan, Burnley bought Peter Crouch from Stoke.
Playing on the market is a bit like poker or any auction. It is about knowing or feeling a bluff when a rival is willing to go all-in.
The story that connects West Ham, Palace and Fulham with Room can still be found online. It was published in the Daily Mirror on December 4, 2018 and amounts to 209 words, reading as a standard plant of an agent that arouses interest
It is the oldest trick in the book. The people used to have a column in their northern editions called Soccer Scene. It contained short gossip from the four divisions.
Most of the information came from managers. The guy from Doncaster would call. & Arsenal followed our right back. We would let him go for £ 50,000. & # 39; Was Arsenal serious? Maybe, maybe, but if it was in The People, Doncaster could get a scout from Newcastle or Everton to check him out. And they might have a chance of £ 40,000.
Pop in the middle of a manager's office in the middle of the week and, chances were he would have a copy of Soccer Scene on his desk. It ran for decades and since Warnock was a player and manager in small clubs in the north during that time, Cardiff's idea was such rubes that 200 words in the Mirror forced them to divide by £ 15 million, feeling unnecessarily a little ripe
When approaching the January window, all speculation about Sala suggested the presence of a decent goal scorer in Nantes, that the club was willing to raise money and possibly there is competition.
Is Sala's deal above reproach or forensic investigation? No. Too many agents and transparency is lacking in crucial areas. The family of the player deserves better at least, deserves an answer.
Yet Cardiff are the right people to ask the questions and ask for the right reasons? Not really. None of these cruel ethical investigations seemed necessary when Sala lived.
There is a moment when Cardiff begins to care about where their money went. It is when the room disappears from their radar forever.
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pastorhogg · 7 years ago
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1 in 3 Protestant Churchgoers Personally Affected by Suicide
Suicide remains a taboo subject in many Protestant churches, despite the best efforts of pastors, according to a new study from LifeWay Research.
Eight in 10 Protestant senior pastors believe their church is equipped to intervene with someone who is threatening suicide.
Yet few people turn to the church for help before taking their own lives, according to their churchgoing friends and family. Only 4 percent of churchgoers who have lost a close friend or family member to suicide say church leaders were aware of their loved one’s struggles.
“Despite their best intentions, churches don’t always know how to help those facing mental health struggles,” said Scott McConnell, executive director of LifeWay Research.
A common tragedy
Suicide remains a commonplace tragedy, according to data from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. More than 44,000 Americans took their own lives in 2015, the most recent year for which statistics are available. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for Americans ages 15 to 34, and the fourth leading cause of death for those 35 to 44.
LifeWay Research found suicide often affects churches. Researchers surveyed 1,000 Protestant senior pastors and 1,000 Protestant and nondenominational churchgoers who attend services at least once a month, in a study sponsored by the American Association of Christian Counselors, Liberty University Graduate Counseling program, the Liberty University School of Medicine, and the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention.
LifeWay’s study found three-quarters (76 percent) of churchgoers say suicide is a problem that needs to be addressed in their community. About a third (32 percent) say a close acquaintance or family member has died by suicide.
Those churchgoers personally affected by suicide were asked questions about the most recent person they know who has died by suicide. Researchers found that 42 percent said they lost a family member, and 37 percent lost a friend. Others lost a coworker (6%), social acquaintance (5%), fellow church member (2%) or other loved one (8%).
About a third of these suicide victims (35%) attended church at least monthly during the months prior to death, according to their friends and family. Yet few of those friends and family say church members (4%) or church leaders (4%) knew of their loved one’s struggles.
Caring responses
When a suicide occurs, churches often respond with care and concern to survivors. About half of churchgoers affected by suicide (49%) say their church prayed with the family afterward; 43 percent say church members attended their loved one’s visitation or funeral; 41 percent say someone from the church visited their family; and 32 percent received a card. Churches also provide financial help (11%), referral to a counselor (11%) and help with logistics like cleaning and childcare (10%) or planning for the funeral (22%).
Still, churchgoers have mixed responses to suicide. Overall, 67 percent of churchgoers say the loved ones of a suicide victim are treated the same as any other grieving family. And 84 percent say churches should provide resources to people who struggle with mental illness and their families. Also, 86 percent say their church would be a safe, confidential place to disclose a suicide attempt or suicidal thoughts.
Yet churchgoers are aware that friends and family of a person who dies by suicide can be isolated from the help they need because of the stigma of suicide. That can be true inside and outside the church, according to the survey.
More than half (55%) of churchgoers say people in their community are more likely to gossip about a suicide than to help a victim’s family. And few churchgoers say their church takes specific steps to address suicide or has resources to assist those experiencing a mental health crisis.
A quarter (24%) of churchgoers say their church has shared a testimony in the past year of someone who has struggled with mental illness or thoughts of suicide. Fewer (22%) say the church has used sermons in the past year to discuss issues that increase the risk of suicide. Meanwhile, 13 percent say their church has taught what the church believes about suicide; 14 percent say the church trained leaders to identify suicide risk factors; and 13 percent say their church shared reminders about national resources for suicide prevention.
Churches are most likely to offer prayer support (57%) or small group ministry (41%), according to churchgoers.
Few churchgoers say their church is hostile to mental health concerns. More than half (54%) say their church encourages counseling, while only 2 percent say their church discourages counseling. The remaining 21 percent say their church has no opinion about counseling, while 23 percent aren’t sure of their church’s stance.
Researchers also found that 26 percent of churchgoers say their churches encourage the use of medications in treating mental illness, while 6 percent say their church discourages the use of prescription medications. Most say their church has no opinion about medications (37%) or are not sure what their church’s stance is (31%).
Pastors want to help
Most Protestant pastors believe their church is taking a proactive role in preventing suicide and ministering to those affected by mental illness, according to LifeWay Research.
While 80 percent say their church is equipped to assist someone who is threatening suicide, only 30 percent strongly agree—meaning more than 2 in 3 pastors acknowledge they could be better equipped.
“Suicide in our culture has for too long been a topic we are afraid to discuss,” said Tim Clinton, president of the American Association of Christian Counselors. “Our prayer is that this research will start a national conversation on addressing the suicide pandemic in our nation, and we started by assessing the church’s perspective on and response to the issue. We need a clinically responsive approach that gives the gift of life back to those who feel filled with emptiness.”
Pastors say they are aware when suicides happen in their community. Sixty-nine percent say they know of at least one suicide in their community over the past year. And of those suicides, about 4 in 10 (39%) affected church members or their friends and families.
Ninety-two percent say their church is equipped to help family members when a suicide occurs. Pastors say their church springs into action, offering prayer (86%), calling (84%) or visiting with the victim’s family (80%) and providing meals (68%). Churches also connect families with professional counseling (53%), help plan funerals (48%), connect the family with someone else who’s experienced a suicide in the family (44%) or provide other assistance.
A number of pastors also say they’ve been proactive in preparing to minister to those at risk of suicide. Forty-one percent say they have received formal training in suicide prevention, while 46 percent have a procedure to follow when they learn someone is at risk. Fifty percent say they have posted the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number, 1-800-273-8255, where staff can find it.
Still, pastors are more likely to say their churches take a proactive role in preventing suicide than churchgoers are.
51% of pastors vs. 16% of churchgoers say their church has a list of mental health professionals who can treat those considering suicide.
46% of pastors vs. 12% of churchgoers say their church regularly addresses mental illness.
36% of pastors vs. 22% of churchgoers say their church has a lay counseling ministry.
29% of pastors vs. 23% of churchgoers say their church has a trained counselor on staff.
18% of pastors vs. 12% of churchgoers say their church has a crisis response team.
McConnell says it is clear churches want to be proactive in suicide prevention. They’re also quick to respond to grieving families. Still, there’s much work to be done to reduce the stigma of mental illness and suicide, he said.
Ronald Hawkins, provost and founding dean of the School of Behavioral Sciences at Liberty University, said churches aren’t always a safe place for people to be vulnerable. According to the research, that seems especially true when someone is at risk for suicide.
He hopes the recent study will prompt churches to do more to prevent suicides.
“I and others in ministry have too often looked into the grief-stricken faces of those whose loved ones have taken their own lives,” said Hawkins. “If you have been there, your heart cry is, ‘Please, Lord no more.’ Yet it seems there are always more.
“Our research suggests that Christ followers need to work harder at providing safe places, so filled with love and grace that trust can flourish,” he said. “In such a place, those who have come to believe that suicide may be their only option may dare to open up their inner world and experience a reawakening of hope.”
Methodology:
The Suicide and the Church Research Study was sponsored by the American Association of Christian Counselors, Liberty University Graduate Counseling program, the Liberty University School of Medicine, and the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention. A demographically balanced online panel was used for interviewing American adults. Respondents were screened to include only Protestant and nondenominational Christians who attend worship services at a Christian church once a month or more. A thousand surveys were completed Sept. 15-19, 2017. Slight weights were used to balance gender, age, ethnicity, education and region. Those who had a close family member or close acquaintance die by suicide were oversampled (500 completed surveys) and subsequently weighted to be proportionate in questions applicable to all respondents. The sample provides 95 percent confidence that the sampling error from the online panel does not exceed plus or minus 3.4 percent (this margin of error accounts for the effect of weighting). Margins of error are higher in sub-groups.
The phone survey of 1,000 Protestant pastors was conducted Aug. 30 to Sept. 18, 2017. The calling list was a stratified random sample, drawn from a list of all Protestant churches. Quotas were used for church size. Each interview was conducted with the senior pastor, minister or priest of the church called. Responses were weighted by region to more accurately reflect the population. The completed sample is 1,000 surveys. The sample provides 95 percent confidence that the sampling error does not exceed plus or minus 3.2 percent. Margins of error are higher in sub-groups.
LifeWay Research is a Nashville-based, evangelical research firm that specializes in surveys about faith in culture and matters that affect churches.
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