#I hope that you have found that person for you
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TAPPING OUT
synopsis. caleb graduates from the academy, but when you unexpectedly tap him out, a tradition where loved ones step forward to formally release a pilot from their duty, he realizes no achievement compares to having you by his side. (based on this.) word count. 1.1k an. loved doing this for codghost so i might as well do it for this man. lets pretend they have the tradition in their universe. okay? okay.
caleb stood in the crowd, his posture rigid and form still with precision despite the celebration around him. cheers echoed through the room, but they sounded distant, muffled. he watched as pilots, one by one, were tapped out by their loved ones. parents embracing their children, lovers reuniting in tearful hugs.
his chest tightened as his eyes scanned the room. he was waiting for gran, the one person he knew would come. gran had always shown up, had always been his anchor. he learnt not to expect anything more, not to hope for anyone else.
but then, like a shift in the universe, caleb felt you before he saw you.
when you stepped into the room, it was as if the entire world faded away. time slowed, the noise dimmed, and the lights seemed to soften, catching on the edges of your features. you looked beautiful, achingly so. heartbreakingly out of reach. you weren’t supposed to be here, not after the fight, not after the cruel words you’d both thrown at each other before he left.
you moved toward him with purpose, cutting through the room like you were meant to be there all along.
caleb couldn’t breathe. he couldn’t think.
his hands trembled at his sides as he watched you close the distance between you. he could act all stoic, but his heart didn’t feel stoic enough to make him calm.
when you stopped in front of him, there were tears already brimming in your eyes. his carefully constructed control, unshakable during training, steadfast through every grueling challenge, began to crumble.
caleb had faced impossible physical challenges, the grueling expectations of training, and the endless psychological evaluations that pushed him to the edge. but none of those had broken him nearly like you did. you, standing here, looking at him like that.
you were his undoing.
you should be his first sign. the first sign that there was something wrong with him. because you were his obsession. the one he was slowly losing control over.
caleb was not allowed to fall in love with you.
he trembled as your fingers brushed against his, tapping him out of his frozen misery. the soft touch was meant to symbolize recognition, acknowledgment. but to caleb, it was so much more.
you were here. you were real.
there was no second-guessing, no hesitation. before he could stop himself, his arms were around you, pulling you into him with a force that left him breathless. a strangled sigh escaped his lips and found its home in the crook of your neck, right where your heart beats: friends, friends, friends.
he held you like a man drowning, and you were the only thing keeping him afloat. he felt the soft shake of your shoulders, the warmth of your tears against his neck, and he couldn’t hold back any longer.
‘i didn’t think you’d come,’ he whispered, his voice low and raw, breaking under the weight of his emotions. you pulled back slightly, just enough to meet his eyes. there was something in his gaze, but before you could respond, he spoke again, quieter this time, like a vow. ‘i’ll never let you go.’
the words made you shiver. they were so soft you almost didn’t catch them.
‘you can try,’ you joked, your voice trembling slightly as you tried to lighten the mood. a nervous laugh escaped as you gently pushed against his chest, pretending to escape his embrace. ‘you love me, i get it.’
but caleb didn’t loosen his hold. instead, he pulled you closer, his lips brushing against your temple. there was a quiet laugh, quiet and unsteady, before he murmured, ‘you have no idea, pipsqueak.’
his voice was filled with something raw, something deeper than you could fully understand. it wasn’t just love. it was obsession, devotion, a yearning that had no end.
you smelled like honey. like the same thing you’d been smelling your entire life that made you feel like home in a way that hotels and dorm beds could never manage.
he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small, shining pin they’d given him for finishing aerospace academy. it gleamed in the light, a symbol of everything he’d fought to achieve. without a word, he placed it carefully in your palm.
your fingers brushed his as you took it, and the touch sent sparks up his arm. with careful, deliberate precision, you pinned it to his chest. caleb didn’t move, his gaze fixed on you, watching every motion, every soft touch of your fingers against his uniform.
‘they should give you a medal instead for doing so well,’ you teased softly, smiling up at him.
once the pin was secure, you smoothed down his uniform, your fingers lingering against the fabric. it was such a small gesture, but it felt so intimate that caleb’s breath hitched.
he tried his best not to be frantic, but it was almost impossible when he was overloaded with want, want, want, and with the feeling that this might not happen again, with the fear that if caleb thought about it too hard, he’d stop himself before he did too much.
he couldn’t stop himself any longer. leaning down, he kissed your cheek, his lips lingering on your skin. he didn’t move away immediately, letting the moment stretch as he closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of you.
he felt like a criminal on the run, but it was too good to withdraw from. so, he overdosed on unrequited love.
when he finally pulled back, there was a soft, almost shy smile on his lips. his voice was low, but full of meaning. ‘i already have my reward.’
you looked up at him, your cheeks warm, his cap still sitting crooked on your head. for a moment, neither of you spoke, and the weight of everything unsaid lingered between you.
and caleb, looking at you, standing there with your fingers still on his uniform, knew it was the absolute truth. you didn’t realize it, but you were the center of his universe. his greatest test, his deepest weakness, and the one thing he could never, ever let go of.
i’m a fool, he decided. damned in the bits of exhaustion at pulling and pushing at whatever’s left of trying.
the noise of the crowd finally broke through the haze, the sound of laughter and celebration pulling you both back to the present. caleb stepped back slightly, watching as you adjusted his cap, your smile soft but hesitant.
you didn’t have to know the struggle he’d endured to get here, the battles he’d fought within himself.
you were his obsession. his reason for everything. and he was losing control, but he didn’t care. because having you here, now, was all that mattered.
#love and deepspace#caleb#caleb love and deepspace#caleb x y/n#caleb x you#caleb x reader#caleb x mc#lads caleb#lnds caleb#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace headcanons#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace drabbles#love and deepspace fic#love and deepspace mc#lads x y/n#lads x mc#lads x you#lads drabbles#lads x reader#lads#lads headcanons#caleb headcanons#caleb drabbles#caleb fic#angst
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Shy
Aitana Bonmatí x Reader
Summary: You still get shy around your girlfriend
The move was a long time in the making.
You bled North London, making your senior debut at just seventeen for Arsenal. You came straight up through the academy with Leah. You eat, lived and slept Arsenal and yet...
Barcelona was where you found yourself now.
They'd been chasing you for years, trying to get your pen on paper. You'd turned them down every time up until now.
It broke your heart to leave Arsenal but it was for the best.
Barcelona got what they wanted, three years of world class defence from you and you got what you wanted, to finally move in with your girlfriend.
Aitana was perfect. You'd met at a friendly years ago and really hit it off. Five years later and you both knew that the long-distance portion of your love was coming to a close.
There wasn't even a question of who was going to move. You may have bled North London but you were happy to trade rainy England for sunny Spain.
It felt a bit like the honeymoon stage again when you could barely keep your hands off of each other. Just a tiny brush of her hand against yours made you feel all tingly inside and you kept smiling at her like a loon, unable to wipe it off your face.
"You're disgusting," Lucy commented as you sat in the break room, head propped up on your fist as you stared longingly across the room," I've never met anyone more smitten before. You know you live with her, right? It's not too scary to talk to her, I hope."
You looked down bashfully, cheeks aflame.
Lucy had been leading the charge on teasing you about Aitana. You couldn't help that your girlfriend still made you feel like a blushing school girl.
"She's busy. I don't want to interrupt her," You replied, turning away to try and hide your embarrassment."
"Busy," Keira scoffed," She's talking to Mapi and Ingrid. That's hardly busy."
"They're having a conversation. People shouldn't invite themselves into conversations. It's rude."
"So you're just going to pine from afar?" Lucy laughed. She reached forward and pinched your cheek, ruffling your hair when you forcefully pulled away. "God, what are you twelve?"
You had a retort on the tip of your tongue but it died instantly when Aitana turned around.
She smiled at you and waved.
You waved back and looked down bashfully.
Lucy made gagging noises.
"Leave me alone!" You complained," Can't you go and bother someone else?"
"But you make it so easy." She flicked you away with her hand. "Go on then, lover girl. Try not to just stare and dribble down your top."
You flipped her off as you went, ignoring the way Keira was making kissy faces behind your back.
"Hi," You said softly, hyper aware of the red sheen to your cheeks.
"Hi," Aitana said back, patting the spot next to her.
You sat and moved to rest your head on her shoulder while Aitana's hand immediately gripped yours, lacing your fingers together tightly.
"You two are so gross," Mapi said," You're like little kids on their first date."
Unlike with Lucy, you didn't feel confident enough to argue with Mapi. You'd played on the national team with Lucy for years. You knew how to deal with her but, with Aitana's teammates, you felt it was probably better to just stay silent and not make eye contact.
"Just because we still have chemistry doesn't mean it's a personal attack on you," Aitana replied.
Her thumb gently stroked circles on your hand as she spoke and you melted into a pile of goo then and there.
"Me and Ingrid still have chemistry!" Mapi insisted," Just because we're not pushing our PDA on everybody doesn't mean we don't! You're like horny teenagers."
The permanent blush on your face only got deeper and you tried to hide your face in Aitana's shoulder.
"Look at her!" Mapi continued," She's like a pile of mush!"
"I'm still here," You muttered," I can hear you."
"Are you sure?" Mapi teased," I mean, can you really focus on anything apart from Aitana? God, you both make me feel sick. You're disgustingly in love."
"There's nothing wrong with that." Aitana looked proud at the comparison, puffing out her chest in a way that made your cheeks burn brighter. She dropped a kiss to one of them, nice and firm and you slouched a bit lower in your seat when you accidentally caught Mapi's eye.
"I mean, what are you doing to the poor girl?" She laughed," She looks like a tomato!"
"She's just shy," Aitana said," And that's fine! I love her like this."
You pressed a soft kiss to her neck and whispered for her ears only," I love you too."
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I hope so
my mom
yeah
totally
single (let's keep it that way)
peacefully
apple
no I am not good at team sports, and in my town it was only for old people and little kids
no
can't remember .. a year ago maybe ?
if you mean in a romantic way no
I tried but after 12 hours I could not feel my legs
I think so but I don't have a name yet
the person I used to be
yes, dog (10y) and cat (12y)
tired and unsure
no
fucking yes "holds chancla"
kinda yeah, but also kinda no
I don't do that
relaxing (I hope)
I used to, I kinda thought maybe 4, but seeing the kids of my brother I noped the fuck out
I do wanna have an ear piercing, but I don't have any for the moment
math
no
spicy cheesy pizza
no (I hope not)
no
no
at the moment everything
I hope so
black and blue are at the same nr1 spot
a little bit
that I didn't wanna go home, and enjoy going out
my mom (I had a full breakdown but it's okay she didn't notice)
depend the situation
neither
year has barely started and I am tired of it already
these lips only touched the forehead of my babies (my dog and cat)
this is not Eden
spicy cheesy pizza
yeah
crying
fuck no !
I hope not
I think 5 (does throwing a chair count ?)
no
every weather as long I can stay inside (the people fright me)
if I can stay inside then yeah
no
no that's creepy as fuck
don't know
when I was younger yeah, but I guess I stick with it
if you mean cheek or forehead kiss then no it's not hard
tell them no
I thought so but then I found out they laughed behind my back how stupid I was
my dad
my mom .. I think
no
I don't have that deep connection with anyone yet
70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?
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Dancing with Yuutsum
SUMMARY: What would happen if you and your tsum found Vil’s, Idia’s and Malleus’s tsums dancing together in the Courtyard? You discover that Idia-tsum is very clingy with your tsum, Vil-tsum gets upset pretending that it doesn't bother it, and worse, Malleus-tsum is openly jealous.
CHARACTERS: Vil Schoenheit, Vil’s tsum; Idia’s tsum, Malleus’s tsum (+Epel Felmier; Ortho Shroud; Sebek Zigvolt) And Malleus at the end.
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader
WORD COUNT: 1.600 words
COMMENTS: I got this idea while playing Twisted Tsumderland 3. After having written so much about Yuutsum I immediately had an idea to use this twistune.
Maybe the title is not quite accurate because most of it is not about the dance but it was the name of the twistune. 😅
I hope you enjoy ❤️
Cooking with Yuutsum - Azul Ashengrotto, Azul’s tsum; Kalim Al-Asim, Kalim’s tsum (+Floyd Leech, Jamil Viper)
Your tsum seemed curious about its surroundings and you asked it if it wanted to go for a walk so you could show it around the school campus. Your tsum happily and enthusiastically agreed.
During your tour you couldn't help but pass by the Courtyard where you hear music. Curious, you follow it and see Epel, Ortho and Sebek dancing with Idia’s, Vil’s and Malleus’s tsums. Vil and Idia's tablet were also there watching them.
Your Tsum moved happily in your arms and seemed to want to join them, but you arrived when they were already at the end of the dance. Your Tsum felt a little sad and you tried to cheer it up by saying that even if they don't dance more it can still go to greet them. Your tsum does so and jumped out of your arms to hop over to the other tsums.
“It can't be helped.” Vil sighed. “You and my peanut were fine Epel, but the others continued dancing as clumsy as they pleased.”
“Hm? Something is approaching with little hops. Another tsum?” Idia's voice says through the tablet. “Damn, my tsum is really unlucky today. Whee hee hee. I'm so glad I sent my tablet instead of going out in person. Whose will it be this-”
Your tsum finally gets close enough for everyone, including Idia's tablet camera, to see it and it greets everyone with that happy tsum sound.
Before any other person or tsum could greet it back, Idia-tsum jumped straight at your tsum to hug it, but with an expression as if asking for its protection.
“W-W-WHAT IS IT DOING?!” Idia asks in an embarrassed panic.
“I don't know.” Ortho responds, curious. “But it seems like it's nesting in (Y/N)'s tsum. It's actually cute.”
You, already next to your and Idia’s tsums, open your mouth to ask yourself the same thing when the sky suddenly turns dark. You all look up and see storm clouds that appeared out of nowhere when the sky was clear seconds ago.
“My Tsum-liege! What's wrong?”
You all look back at the ground, at Malleus-tsum who is glaring angrily at the two tsums at your feet. A muffled thunder is heard and Idia-tsum only hugs your tsum even tighter in fear, which makes Malleus-tsum even more angry and a lightning bolt strikes nearby.
Your tsum looks at you, nods with its little head to Idia-tsum and then to Malleus-tsum. You understand what it wants to ask you and you bend down to pick up Idia-tsum. It gets scared when it feels hands suddenly catch it and doesn't want to let go of your tsum, until it calms Idia-tsum enough to free itself from its grip. Only when Idia-tsum realizes that you are the one holding it does it stop trying to escape and nestles into your arms in fear so that you can protect it.
Meanwhile your tsum hops to Malleus-tsum. As your tsum gets closer to it the clouds begin to disappear. Until Sebek suddenly gets between the two tsums.
“HALT! No one can approach my tsum-liege without permis-” Another bolt of lightning struck nearby. Sebek looked at Malleus-tsum who was looking at him with displeasure. “AH! MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES MY TSUM-LIEGE!” He bowed deeply. “I was unaware this tsum had your consent.” And he got out of the way.
Malleus-tsum raised its head with dignity and walked the remaining short distance to your tsum. Once in front of your tsum, Malleus-tsum didn't hug it, it waited for your tsum to do it first. And it did, touching its cheek to Malleus-tsum’s and rubbing affectionately. It was a matter of a couple of seconds before the storm clouds dissipated as quickly as they had appeared.
“Hum... Am I the only one who thinks this is some kind of subliminal message or foreshadowing or something?” Idia questions.
“What? You don't think just because these peanuts have physical similarities to us that they are revealing something hidden about us, do you?” Vil counterposes with a sarcastic smile.
“Where are you going?” Epel asks Vil-tsum who started walking down the gray path away from them, with its head held high and his eyes closed as if it was upset but still prideful.
Your tsum looks at it and gives Malleus-tsum a kiss before hoping towards Vil-tsum and stopping right in front of it. Your tsum made a happy tsum sound, but Vil-tsum turned its face away and continued walking after going around your tsum.
“Someone got sulky.” Idia commented in a low voice and chuckled to himself.
Meanwhile, Malleus-tsum came to you, stopped for a moment to look at you, and then suddenly jumped into your arms as well. This startled Idia-tsum again, but Malleus-tsum patted it to let it know that everything was okay, and the two of them snuggled up to you.
Your tsum tried to get closer to Vil-tsum again, but it kept looking away. Until your tsum starts making a sound and a face like it wanted to cry. Only then did Vil-tsum finally look at it, but was still sulking. Your tsum slowly got closer to it and touched its little nose with Vil-tsum's. Seeing that it didn't move away again, your tsum slowly snuggled into it, as if it was apologizing. Vil-tsum finally gives in and accepts the apology, returning the affection.
“Does your tsum have any special powers or is there something else you want to tell us about all of this?” Epel asks you with a mocking smile.
“This is ridiculous.” Vil claps his hands twice and his tsum looks at him. “Let's go, peanut. It's time to go back to Pomefiore. Unlike you, I have a schedule to keep.”
Vil-tsum looked at your tsum, then at you and quickly hopped towards you until it gave one last jump that ended with it on top of your head.
“Are you disobeying me?” Vil seemed to really start to get upset. “After everything you did to my beauty products and my patience, you still have the nerve to-” He was surprised by your tsum suddenly jumping into his arms. He stopped talking to concentrate on catching it.
He looked at your tsum who smiled at him with its little eyes. The corner of his mouth seemed to form a small smile. Then your tsum jumped onto his shoulder.
“And what do you think you're doing?” Vil asked, letting slip in his tone of voice that he was found it a little amusing. Your tsum began to rub its little face against Vil's cheek. “Hey, be careful with the makeup. My products are durable, but if you rub too hard you'll smudge it and get yourself dirty.” Vil picked up your tsum and took it off his shoulder. It looked slightly sad and disappointed, but Vil smiled and kissed it on the forehead and your tsum made that happy sound again.
“Are you still glad that you stayed in your room, big brother?” Ortho asked the tablet. “Your tsum looks very happy in (Y/N)'s arms. And that adorable mini version of them could be snuggling up to you instead of Vil Schoenheit.”
“I had to be delusionally full of myself to think that someone or something would choose me over a hot supermodel.” Idia said in that sullen, giving-up voice.
“Hmm... a little help...?” You asked, holding a tsum in each arm and letting another balance on top of your head.
The only way to make the tsum leave you alone was to promise that you and your tsum would later stop by each of their dorms. That and dance with them before you leave since your tsum was unable to participate in the dance they had done before.
Idia-tsum was the only one who didn't seem very happy with the idea, but you and your tsum managed to convince it, because now it would have the opportunity to dance with you and your tsum. But even so, it only did that for the two of you.
All the tsums wanted to dance with you and/or your tsum, besides Epel, Ortho and Sebek (although the latter didn't want to admit it) also wanted to dance with your tsum. So you ended up doing a dance with partner swapping so everyone has the opportunity to dance with both of you.
After the dance the hardest one to convince to leave you and your tsum to continue the walk was Idia-tsum. It didn't want to be separated from the two of you, especially your tsum.
“Come on Tsum-shi, this is starting to get cringe.” Idia asked it.
The other two tsums went their separate ways but not without giving you and your tsum one last kiss on the cheek. Or what resembled a kiss since tsums don't have mouths.
After leaving with his tsum-liege and meeting Malleus again, Sebek told him that your tsum had come to greet his tsum and the others. If he doesn't tell many details of what happened, Malleus will only feel sorry for having been separated from them and not being able to be present at that moment, but he will be happy that his tsum could meet yours.
But if Sebek makes the mistake of telling him about your tsum's interactions with the other tsums and especially with Vil, he'll have to apologize so to stop the thunderstorm that had begun to form above them.
As you would visit them in Diasomnia later, he waited to see the interaction between your tsums and satisfied with what he witnessed he did not touch on the subject of what happened with Vil and the other tsums.
More Twisted Tsumderland content:
Yuutsum 1 (Riddle; Cater; Leona; Jack; Floyd; Epel; Sebek)
Yuutsum 2 (Deuce; Azul; Jade; Kalim; Rook; Ortho; Lilia)
Yuutsum 3 (Ace; Trey; Ruggie; Jamil; Vil; Idia; Malleus; Silver)
If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
#Twisted Wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst imagines#twst fluff#Twisted Wonderland Fluff#Twisted Tsumderland#tsum tsum#Vil Schoenheit#Vil Schoenheit x Reader#Epel Felmier#Idia Shroud#Idia Shroud x Reader#Ortho Shroud#Sebek Zigvolt#Malleus Draconia#Malleus Draconia x Reader
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' fuck you... fuck you. ' - thanos
𐔌♯ pairing — dom thanos x sub amab!reader
𐔌♯ warnings — smut mdni , slight feminization , blowjob (reader receiving) , drug usage (+ peer pressure) , cursing, implied korean speaking (stuff intended to be english will be italicized) , 'boy' used for reader, cockwarming mention
𐔌♯ word count — -1.7k
𐔌♯ authors note — hi.. had a small depressive episode so i halted my writing.. uhm.. anyways we are so back! and small note.. i literally do not know anything about drugs.. most of the substance use was written with a small amount of research.. if it isnt accurate please imagine it is..
you fucking hated it here. you didn't know where you were, what you were doing, or even the true nature of the other 455 players with you.
anybody could be planning anything against you.. at any time.. anywhere... and you just had no way of knowing.
you knew this was a bad attitude to have when you had nobody else to rely on at the moment, but you just couldn't help the feelings of doubt and possible betrayal.
everyday, as the other players went to grab their small portions of food, you just sat on one of the many bunkbeds and stared, trying to observe everyone possible.
"hey pretty boy," you heard someone say from the floor.
it was that bitch with the highlighter purple hair, thanos. you found him anything less than unendearing. thanos had a habit of constantly breaking out in a freestyle rap.. and they were never really good. as well as seeming to pick fights with everyone there.
yup, he was definitely not the person who you would try to become allies, or even friends, with, even if you were desperate here.
you tried your best to ignore him, continuing to stare off into the lines of people.
"hey bitch!" thanos yelled, "i'm talking to you!"
a soft groan escaped your lips as you slowly moved your head down to look at him, standing like an idiot on the floor.
"what?!" you said in a snappy tone, to which he responded with a smirk.
"i liked you better when you were quiet." he mumbled, climbing up the metal latter to the many bunk beds, finally reaching the one you were on a plopping down.
the slightest look of disgust was on your face as you stared him down, getting a glance of every small detail about him. "are you high?" you mumbled, noticing his bloodshot eyes and overly shaky hands.
"why, pretty boy? ya want some?" thanos said, a smirk placed on his face as he started to reach into the sweater of his tracksuit, where you assumed (more hoped) was where he hid the drugs.
"no, im fine." you spoke in a stern tone.
"awh! you're no fun." he frowned, pulling out a detailed cross-shaped necklace. he turned his head to make sure nobody else was around before lifting the top on the necklace, revealing a small collection of drugs of multiple colors. "....you sure?" he asked in a cocky tone. "c'mon man!! live a little!" he said a little louder than you would have liked.
"fuck you." you mumbled, rolling your eyes off to the side. you looked around at the people in the room, letting out a loud sigh. your gaze looked the purple-haired man up and down, "fine. give me one."
"shit?! yo.. i knew you'd come through!" he said, taking a pill out of the cross necklace and quickly putting it in your palm. "it's crazy strong though. like man."
you placed the colored pill into your mouth, confused if you should swallow or let it dissolve, but you chose the latter. the version of you that existed before participating in these games would've never dreamed of taking a drug... but here you were.
thanos stared at you, a look of anxious excitement placed on his face. the both of you made eye-contact with another blankly, waiting for the effects of the drug to hit you.
..and.. it finally did.
"holy shit.." you managed to mumble. the feeling of hunger in your body was lifted with the drug, as well as the feeling of stress. your mind felt float-y, even causing your body to do the same, even as you sat perfectly still.
"it's strong.. right?" he said as his eyes watched you."
"..yeah.. god.."
"it's not very beginner friendly.. but it'll definitely make this place more fuckin' bearable." he mumbled, scooting a little closer to you.
"how'd you know i was a beginner?" you asked, looking at him with disbelief.
"ay, pretty boy. let's be for real now." thanos started off, "your whole body language is fuckin' rookie if i've ever seen one.. you didn't even know what the fuck to do with the pill."
a sigh escaped your lips as he spoke, "how the fuck does anybody put up with you?" to which thanos chuckled.
"i dunno.. you seem to be doin' a damn good job at it though."
"fuck you." you mumbled, staring at him.
you guys talked for a while as the substance reached it's high in your body. after the conversation, you seemed to be able to tolerate thanos more... even throughout his annoying ass tactics. he seemed to have a difficult time before coming here.. as did you. a light was revealed in thanos with said conversation. one that you were shocked about.
you saw... an attractive male. you definitely couldn't deny that he was a physically attractive man, but you've seen more into his actual persona, and you like it. a lot.
"yo." he finally mumbled, "i'm not gonna deny this.. you're fuckin' pretty. like shit."
"you literally called me 'pretty boy'."
"c'mon man! you don't need to expose me like that." he said, a slight joking tone was hidden under his words.
you guys sat in silence for what could only feel like hours. you leaned a little closer to him.
"can i.. kiss you?" was the only thing you could say, it coming out of your mouth as a whisper.
thanos stared at you in shock, a moment of silence went on, almost making you regret asking, before a small nod appeared on thanos' face.
his gaze glanced around the room, making sure all of the eyes were off you guys before the both of you leaned into each other.. your lips quickly connecting. he put his right hand on the back of your head. it grabbing your (slightly) outgrown hair in a way that was somewhat comforting. your lips kissed, the both of you waiting before bringing your tongues into it. your lips simply sat on each others... until they didn't. thanos lightly bit your bottom lip, asking you to open your lips without actually asking you too. you waited a minute before doing so, his tongue slowly slipping into your mouth, and vise versa. the kiss still seemed slow, so you decided to pick up the speed of your tongue. thanos matched the speed of your tongue causing your arms to swing from the sheets on the bed to his back. your arms tightly wrapped around his torso as his other hand slid to your waist, it lightly rubbing up and down.
thanos waited a moment and carefully slid his cold hand under the fabric of your clothes. he continued to rub his hand against your skin, the icy touch of his fingers sending a shiver down your spine. you pulled away from the kiss and stared at him.
"your eyes.. they're pleading.." he said with a small laugh, his hand trailing up under your top. he did so slowly, the grazing of his fingers making your breath's speed to decrease. his hand stopped on the left side of your chest.
thanos leaned into your ear and whispered, "what a small and perky tit..." he said with a smirk on his face before pulling away and starting to fidget with the nipple.
you never thought having your chest referred to in a way commonly used for females would turn you on... but here you were.. your dick was rapidly getting hard, it slightly poking out through the fabric of your sweatpants.
this movement did not go unnoticed by thanos, his gaze slipping from your face to your pants. he let his hand slide out from under your shirt and placed it on the hem of the tracksuit pants. they were carefully tugged down, just enough to reach the end of your boxers. he placed his hand on your boxers now, looking at you for confirmation that you wanted this, and all you could do was quickly nod. you adjusted yourself to be completely laying down on the bunkbed, as he adjusted himself to hover above your pelvic area. he nodded before pulling your boxers down and watching your dick pop out almost immediately. he teasingly flicked it, receiving a whine from you.
"..how responsive." he teased before placing his mouth on the tip of it.
thanos slowly moved his head downward on your dick, stopping right before he reached your testicles. he looked up at you, before lifting his head up and slamming it back down onto your dick. he continued this a few times, having you quietly whimpering.
you watched his head lift up to look you in the eye, your dick making a 'pop!' sound as his mouth went off of it. "hey. you gotta be quiet, man!" he exclaimed in a hush tone. "the fuck you think that pissy old man's gonna do if he sees this!" he said, clearly referring to player 001. the man who had stopped him from beating up a player.
"sorry." you mumbled, your eyes pleading for him to ignore it and continue.
thanos looked at you with doubt before slamming his head back down onto your dick, your dick hitting the back of his throat with ease. his eyes teared up on reflex as he let out a quiet groan.
"thought we we're being quiet?" you said, teasing him through shaky breaths, to which you received no response.
you watched as his head quickly bopped up and down, each thrust of your dick reaching the back of his throat, you quickly decided you had to come and left no notice before your dick started to release the infamous white liquid. your nut squirted all around his mouth, his head bopping up and down a few more times to rid you of that high before lifting his head up.
thanos stared at you as he swallowed it before laying down, right next to you. he helped you pull your boxers and tracksuit pants back up.
you sat in silence, processing what had just happened. a hand being placed on yours interrupting your thoughts.
"so. pretty boy.. whatcha feel about cockwarming?"
#thanos#choi su bong#su bong x reader#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game 2#fanfic#thanos x reader#thanos x y/n#thanos x you#thanos x male reader#x male reader#x male smut#mlm#male reader#bottom male reader#x reader#x you#choi subong#smut#mlm smut#squid game s2#squid game 2 spoilers#squid game netflix#squid game spoilers#squid game smut#squid game x reader#squid game x you#squid game fanfic#squid game fic
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୨୧ protective, not possessive ; pb5
➪ summary: another win for the huskies means another night out at a bar celebrating. but when your trip to the bathroom takes a little longer than your girlfriend thinks it should, she's balancing on the edge of protectiveness and possessiveness.
➪ warnings: a brief unwanted touch, too much use of look, gaze, stare, and any other synonym for those
➪ word count: 1.7k
➪ cupid's notes: i've had this in my drive for a month now and i'm finally able to post it ! i think i like it, idk guys it's past midnight rn. anyway, i wanted to say thank you again for 1k, i'm positively over the moon with the amount of love you've given me. i hope you guys enjoy the fic !
© cupidbedsy ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here
After dating Paige for a few months now, you had grown accustomed to going out after wins and celebrating with her and the team. Even though going out and getting semi-dressed up was not your thing, you would do it for her every time she asked.
Tonight was no different, your jacket was discarded due to the heat of the packed bar, the slightly revealing shirt you had picked out earlier in the day on display, and jeans hugging your thighs in just the right way that made everyone’s heads turn towards you.
You sat next to Paige, her arm wrapped loosely around your waist as she twisted her glass in her other hand, talking to KK and Azzie. The situation was familiar, something you had done millions of times, jokes you had heard before, but for whatever reason, tonight felt off.
Maybe it was the test you took today, a new weight off your shoulders you hadn’t felt in so long, or maybe it was the fact that you knew your room was in a messy state and you knew that that was what you had to go back to after this. Whatever it was, it left an uneasy feeling, a growing pit in your stomach.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you looked over at your girlfriend, watching her laugh at something one of the others had said. You didn’t want to worry her, you just needed a moment to compose yourself. So you reached for her t-shirt, tugging slightly to get her attention, sucking in a breath as her gaze met yours.
Her smile was still present when she looked over at you but her eyebrows were furrowed in confusion at the sight of your distressed expression, something that only she was able to detect. She leaned closer, lowering her voice to a murmur, “You okay, ma?”
You nodded, letting your fake bubbly presence consume you, “Yep, totally fine. Just need to pee, I’ll be back.”
She nodded, watching you carefully as you slipped out of her hold, pushing your way through the crowd of bodies toward the back of the bar where the restrooms were. She let herself focus back on the conversation at hand, easily falling back into the rhythm of it.
She was almost too far into it to notice that you had been gone for more than 10 minutes, but when she reached for your hand to play with the rings on your fingers she remembered where you had gone. She scanned the bar for any sign of you but was left with a frown when she couldn’t find you.
She excused herself from the table, stuffing her hands in her pockets as she followed the path you had taken earlier to the bathroom. And if she hadn’t been staring down every single person in that building like they had done something to hurt you, she wouldn’t have found you against the wall, talking animatedly about something to a guy who stood in front of you.
Her eyes narrowed, taking a step toward the two of you but was cut off by an eager woman who was holding a pen and a napkin in her hand. Paige tried her best to give her a kind smile, keeping the protectiveness pushed down as she talked, “Hi.”
“Hi, I’m so sorry to interrupt but my niece absolutely adores you, and I was just wondering if I could have your autograph so I could give it to her.”
She let her smile turn genuine as she heard her explanation, nodding and taking the items from the woman’s hand, scribbling her signature across the white napkin before passing it back to her. She sighed softly when she finally left her alone, redirecting her eyes to where you were standing and she swore you had upped the wattage of your smile even more than when she saw you before.
This time, she avoided any more interruptions as she made her way to the two of you, stopping just to the side of you, hands back in her pockets.
Neither of you noticed at first, your mouth still moving faster than your brain could comprehend. He had a small look of fondness in his eyes as he looked at you, nodding along to each word you said.
You on the other hand, despite talking so happily, had thought you had made it clear that you were the furthest from interested in him.
You bumped into him on your way out of the bathroom, in the small corridor that split between the men’s and women’s doors. You had caught wind of something he had been saying to his friend, something that you instantly recognized as one of your many hyperfixations and you wasted no time launching into a conversation with him, your tendency to ramble on and on overtook you in seconds.
You barely registered his hand reaching out to place on your hip, but the soft brush of his fingers against your exposed skin caused you to jump, excitement washing off your expression.
Paige’s protective instincts kicked in, reaching to intercept his second attempt of grabbing you, wrapping her arm around your waist, and glaring at the guy.
She looked down at you, finally tearing her heated stare from him. She softened immediately, squeezing your hip and giving you a lazy smile to make you more comfortable, “Everything okay, ma?”
You were getting a wave of deja vu as she asked the question, the feeling you had earlier coming back. You gave her a hesitant nod, glancing over at the guy who stood there, slightly awe-struck at the sight of you two together.
He gulped nervously when the fire returned to Paige, “You two are dating?”
The blond nodded, pushing you slightly behind her, not wanting you to be in his direct line of sight anymore. However the guy didn’t want to push his luck, between the look on your girlfriend’s face and the weight of eyes from the table across the bar where the team sat, it was enough to have him muttering an apology and practically running off towards another group of girls.
She waited until he was far enough away from the small corner you were in to turn and look at you, studying your face intently. Despite the scrutiny she had you under, you couldn’t help but smile and relax, peering up at her with what she could call your signature doe eyes, ones that made her want to drop everything and kiss you, bottom lip between her teeth.
“Did he say something before that? Make you uncomfortable?”
You shook your head, still having yet to say a word to her since you left for the bathroom nearing 20 minutes ago at this point. It irked her in the slightest, usually, you were talking her ear off - just like you were doing earlier with that guy - about some new TV show you started watching or a new recipe you found on TikTok, but now she could barely get a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ out of you.
“Babe you sure he didn’t do anything, because you know I’ll-”
“Paige,” you interrupted, voice soft but firm enough that she shut her mouth as soon as she heard it.
You rose on your tiptoes, kissing her cheek, “I’m fine. I promise, we were just talking and the touch caught me off guard, it was harmless.”
“Didn’t look harmless. Looked like you were gonna crap your pants.” She grumbled, dropping her hands to her side.
A laugh bubbled out of you and she finally cracked a smile, little but noticeable. She loved making you laugh, it was the easiest thing for her to do but every time she did she felt like she had won the championship, as cheesy as it was.
“I did not look like that.”
“Sure you didn’t. I’m positive you would’ve ruined this perfectly good pair of jeans if he said one more thing about- what were you even talking about?”
You turned sheepish as you mumbled out your hyper-fixation to her, causing her to roll her eyes in return.
“Alright, if that conversation continued, I probably would’ve punched him for making you have to get rid of my favorite pair of jeans on you.”
“Paige, stop. I didn’t look like that.” Your protest was whiney and your lips formed a pout as you continued to stare up at her.
The tiny smile she had widened into a grin as she reached a hand towards your hair, moving it over your shoulder and letting her fingers rest against the back of your neck, thumb grazing your jawline steadily, “You’re right. You looked gorgeous just standing there, baby. You get that glow around you when you ramble.”
Heat rushed to your cheeks and you knew it had nothing to do with the growing crowd on the dance floor a few feet away from you. The new pink tint to your cheeks only caused Paige to smirk more. She didn’t say anything though, using her other hand to your hip and bringing you impossibly close, your foreheads resting against each other.
If you were aware of any looks on you before, you weren’t now, every noise and blur of color fading into the background as your eyes bore into hers.
And the two of you stayed like that for at most 30 seconds but to you two, it felt like hours. You closed your eyes as she let her thumb brush across your cheek, letting whatever stress and uneasiness that lingered go away, a distant memory of the past.
“I’m always going to be there to protect you, you know that right?”
You hadn’t heard her voice that unsure in a long time, and maybe you were imagining it but when you opened your eyes again, you saw the unmistakable uncertainty on her face. You frowned, “‘course I know that. Would never doubt your possessive nature.”
She scoffed, “I wasn’t being possessive. Just cautious.”
“Oh is that what we’re calling it now?”
The two of you started to make your way back to the table, her hand intertwining with yours, swinging your arms back and forth.
“Next time,” she spoke after a beat, voice teasing. “I’m going to the bathroom with you.”
“Not possessive my ass.” You muttered, but you should’ve known better than to think she wouldn’t hear it because soon her hand did meet your ass, another grin on her face.
꒰ UCONN HUSKIES TAGLIST ꒱
@fantillisgirl
PB5 MASTERLIST ; WBB MASTERLIST
TAGLIST ; NAVIGATION
#˚ ༘♡〚 cupids writing 〛ₓ。#˚。⋆〚 fics 〛#˚。⋆〚 paige bueckers 〛#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#uconn#uconn wbb
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I organized a booth at my local pride where we gave out free water and did a pay-what-you-can art store to increase accessibility for poor people at Pride. We raised enough money to cover the cost of the booth AND the cost for the 2025 booth AND some.
I also helped organize, alongside some friends of mine, a bake sale to help our friends keep their home, which was being threatened with foreclosure. These were disabled trans folks who had fallen behind on payments because of lack of access to transportation, limiting their job opportunities. We didn't raise enough to fully pay stuff off, but we raised enough for at least one of their mortgage payments, which bought them some time & wasn't nothing.
My friends helped pay for me so I could take a road trip with them to visit our other friend who lived a couple of states away from us. I got to meet an online friend in the process, and we all went on a float trip and to a really cool museum and a great production of Much Ado About Nothing. It was a lot of fun and I got to hang out with a bunch of my old college friends.
I started the year with the intention to interact more with my friends and the general community and succeeded. I joined a comic maker's group and got two of my comics published in their anthologies. The local queer art group that I founded back in 2018 started having in person meetings again after we had to stop in 2020 due to covid. I made an effort to reach out to the people I care about more than I had been able to in past years. My socializing really improved and my goal to meet new people and foster relationships with already existing friends was a success!
I started going to the library more, and tbh learned a lot about the things they offer there and found some really interesting books that would have never occurred to me to look for in a book shop.
There were some bad things that happened, too. Bad things are inevitable when you're living in poverty and your local government couldn't give two shits about you or your neighbors. But the good outweighed the bad, and I felt that I contributed positive things to my community and that my community came through for me as well.
Despite everything, my sense of self worth has seriously improved. My life has significantly improved in the last two or three years because at some point I decided I wanted to be an active participant in it. There were several years where I was extremely depressed, bitter, and isolated. Years of burnout and anger brought on because I took the extremely difficult steps to stop talking to my abusive family. I struggled with everything and felt like very few people would be there for me if I fell through the cracks. But you know what? I came out on the other side. My friends proved my paranoia that no one loved me wrong. It's not all perfect and there's still plenty of difficulties that I face, but I am generally happier and healthier and kinder than I used to be, and that's huge.
I know things look bleak and hope can feel foolish sometimes in the face of great hardships, but finding joy is an action you must take upon yourself when you can. Even if all you can find are the little things. And when you can't, I hope you have people who love you to make it hurt less. I hope good things come your way soon. I hope good things come for all of us. Let's do our best to make it happen for ourselves and the people we love in 2025!
hey honest question, did anybody have GOOD stuff happen to them in 2024? cause it was really bad for me and for most people i know, so it would be nice to hear about anything that's been going WELL for any of you. even if it's small stuff. just to know there's light out there.
#about me#good things that happened#hope#showing up for people makes you feel good#showing up for yourself is also worth the effort
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PICK A CARD: How to make them fall in love with you
Hello and welcome to this new post of mine! In here I will give you a reading on how you will make your SP fall in love with you. I hope you guys enjoy and find this interesting!
Masterpost > Paid Readings > Subliminal Channel
Extended reading is found on my patreon, the link of which is here
NOTE: anyone who joins my patreon, no matter the tier before february 1st 2025 will get a free reading of a question of choice.
~pick a card~
Pile 1:
Your SP already has an eye on you; they look at you sometimes, they are curious about you and find your personality to be interesting. In order for them to fall in love with you it is really important to establish a closer relationship with them first, especially given that most of you all haven’t really talked to this person a lot before. Try and start talking to them, whether you use something to get in a conversation smoothly or just walk up to them and start talking to them. They are already interested in you, and won’t decline having a conversation with you.
First start with forming this connection, due to them already being attracted to you that love will come naturally to them as the two of you get closer.
Pile 2:
Speak out more about your thoughts and feelings toward this person. You might be a bit more reserved, and if not to them you are very difficult to read; it’s as if you have a wall up with them and don’t show your true thoughts and feelings on matters. Your SP notices this, they can see that you are holding back, and it turn it makes them do the exact same. There isn’t a very close emotional bond between the two, but that is exactly where you need to be in order to have your SP grow feelings for you.
Your SP isn’t someone who grows feelings easily; they don’t allow themselves to do so because they don’t feel safe in doing so. They do not want to get hurt. You need to open up to them in order to have them open up in return, that is how you will let your SP start feeling things they’ve not allowed themselves to feel before.
Pile 3:
Be yourself, that is all you need to do. Do not be afraid that you might seem weird to others, or that they like you less if you show you can be very emotional. Be hyper if that is what you need to be, be quiet if that is what is most comfortable to you. Speak aloud your thoughts, move the way your body wants to move, try to forget all those insecurities you have on the judgement of others. Your SP will love your true self because of how unique you are, how entertaining and fun you are. You are interesting and creative, they will be fascinated with you because there aren’t many people like you out there. There is a natural connection between the two of you, as long as you let it simply flow through.
#spirituality#spiritual#pick a card#tarot#tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a photo#pick an image#pick a picture#pac#pap#divination#tarotoftheday#tarot readings#tarot deck#tarot cards#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot commissions#love reading#love readings#future spouse readings#future spouse reading#future spouse#fs reading#fs#loa#law of assumption#manifestation#manifesting
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I'm in love with your page like I genuinely check it multiple times a day to see if you've posted even though I have notifs on 😭😭😭
Please can we get Sevika!XReader! When sevika and reader have just started dating and sev finds out reader smokes and begs her to stop even though it's hypocritical because she chain smokes herself 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
ASDFGHJKL THANK YOUUU that literally made my day. hope you enjoyy
run away (from me)
content warning(s): smoking, some blood, mentions of addiction
"i cherish and want you, but there's still no answer i know you get it, so don't play hypocrite me collecting dust in the corner of the room it's not pretty, i don't want you to stay"
~~~
Your hands are shaking. All of you is shaking, actually. Breathing hard, you fold yourself tighter into the ledge you found between the stacked wooden crates in the alleyway of some dilapidated buildings. You’re not sure if people live there, but you’re certain they wouldn’t give two shits about some cigarette smoke wafting around.
Cigarette between your lips, you flick angrily at the lighter. Either your hands are weak or this lighter you lifted from the pocket of that enforcer is a bum one, because all you’re seeing are little sparks.
Finally, a flame. You light the cigarette.
It had been a close chase. You’d managed to lead the goons onto your own turf, then lose them with several false turns. Not before they’d nicked you with their fuckass little pocket knives, though.
You don’t want to think about that right now. They’re only flesh wounds, and you need to relax yourself before you look at them.
Then a large shadow falls over you.
“There you are.”
You look up. Right at the strong features and vivid gray eyes that have held you in a chokehold since you first saw them, and took your breath away even now.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Where the hell have you been?”
“Ha,” you say, flicking the ash onto the wooden box next to you. “Careful there, Vika, or it might sound like you actually care about me.”
Sevika snorts. “Keep dreaming.”
The two of you have been seeing each other for little less than a month.
Then Sevika sees the cigarette in your fingers. She looks quickly around to see if anyone is approaching, then crouches down beside you, frowning. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m having a self-care day. Little meditation session.”
She sees the blood staining your shirt, the telltale marks of a scuffle on your face. “Fuck. Are you hurt?”
“Barely. Nicks and bumps.”
She takes the cigarette out of your hand.
“Hey!”
“You shouldn’t smoke this shit,” she said, stubbing it out. “What are you on about? Let me look at you.”
“That was my last cigarette,” you said, scowling. “You better make it up.”
“You shouldn’t smoke at all. Not in this cesspool of fissure smoke. What’re you trying to do—kill yourself?”
“Oh. Deepest apologies. I didn’t realize you’re the only person in Zaun who is allowed to slowly destroy your lungs.”
She raises an eyebrow. “You try being my age, growing up in the mines and breathing that shit night and day. Your lungs aren’t like that.”
“Sevika,” you say, letting the hint of a whine into your voice. You know it’s a gamble with her—whether she’s in the mood to humor you or not depends on the day, the weather, hell, the color of your shirt. But you really need that smoke. “Vika, I’ve had a shitty day. Gimme back the cigarette.”
She looks at it, the burnt end, the dry marks of your lipstick. She puts it in her pocket.
“Vika, I swear to God—”
“How long have you been smoking?” She asks quietly.
You shrug. “As long as every other undercity brat.”
“Come on, get up. You’re hurt.”
“I can’t. I’m too tired. You just took away my only hope of revival.”
She mutters something under her breath, you’re pretty sure you heard the word “insufferable.” Then she takes off her cloak, her mechanical arm gleaming in the late afternoon sun, and throws it around your shoulders.
“Your ‘only hope of revival’?” She repeats to you, scooping you up in her arms. “What am I, nothing?”
You wince slightly as she lifts you up, but it’s comforting to feel the solidity of her warm body, the muscles of her human arm flexing against your back. You wrap your arms around her neck. “You’re not too bad,” you admit.
She gives a short chuckle. “You’ll see. Just see if I can’t make you feel ten times better than a lousy smoke.”
“That’s a two-way deal,” you tell her, leaning your head on her shoulder. “You need to let me return the favor.”
“Done.”
~~~
thank you @prettyinpink69 for the request :)
#song: runaway by ryujin (my translation)#<- played that song on repeat while writing this ooomf its such a bop n fits the prompt so well#sevika x reader#sevika x you#sevika x female reader#sevika imagine#sevika angst#soft sevika#sevika arcane#sevika
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Love Sweet Love
Hi guys!
Happy Steph's day ♥
I'm sorry, I haven't posted for a very long time but I'm working on it. I hope you will love this new Chapter of my Steph's series. You don't have to read the first two, but it's a plus I think.
You can find them here : Lightning Love | Struck By Love
Please enjoy ♥
And Happy Birthday to Steffy ♥
TW : None
When you come back from the USA, after your injury against Colombia, Steph makes you live in her house. Officially to help you with your injury and because she doesn’t have any stairs in her new house. Which is really a good point, because almost all of the other people who could have offered their help actually have stairs in their home.
Steph and you have been friends since you were teenagers, so no one asks any questions when you mention that you are living with Steph for now.
With time, your things found a specific place in Steph’s house, and she even made some more space in her closet for your clothes. Your Tottenham jerseys are washed with her Arsenal ones, you share the vegemite pots that your grandmother sends you and you sometimes wear Steph’s shirt to sleep.
You love the intimacy between you and how everything is so easy with Steph. She is the most easy-going person in the world, and you are falling in love even harder with her every day.
You’re a little afraid of when it will be time for you to go back to your own apartment. It will probably be soon, because your cast has been removed two weeks ago, and you now have an ankle splint to help you walk. You are supposed to still use your crutches, even if you don’t when you are home. You prefer jumping around on one foot.
It drives Steph crazy.
Steph isn’t home for two days now, she had a game in Liverpool and left with the Arsenal squad. You weren’t able to go to watch her because you had to go to your rehab. So, you went to watch Tottenham playing at home instead, cheering for your teammates. Charli and her fiancé came with you to walk Calvin those two days and for the others walk you just stayed around Steph’s house or went in the garden with him.
When you come back home after the game, a look at the clock tells you that your girlfriend will be home in one hour.
You are so grateful for Steph, her patience while you were injured and all the little attentions she had for you during this time. So, you decided to thank her with a real good meal tonight, with all the romanticism you have in you.
You set the table with a red tablecloth, a vase with some roses in the middle of the table and some candles. You listened to the florist talking about the number of flowers for the bunch of flowers, not even knowing before that the number had a meaning. Coming back home, you thought a little bit about your ex-girlfriends and wonder what they would think about your behavior.
You kind of explained to Leila what happened with Steph, without giving her the name of your girlfriend. But you needed to explain to her the reality of your feelings and why things didn’t work between you two.
For dinner, you chose Steph’s favourite meal, and you ordered the ingredients needed to be delivered to you here. It’s way easier for you like this, doing your shopping in crutches would have been way too complicated.
Steph’s car wheels squeak on the gravel in front of the house several minutes after. You jump between the fridge and the table with the starters when Steph opens the door.
A cream and red flash passes next to you when Calvin runs to great Steph, making you smile softly. You distinctly hear Steph cooing and greeting Calvin back, before coming in your direction.
“No! Don’t come here! Close your eyes!”
“Why? What have you done?”
You jump on one foot in her direction, seeing that Steph had in fact closed her eyes. She looks so cute with her low bun, her scarf and her training clothes that you can’t help yourself but steal her a kiss.
You feel her smile against your lips and then kiss her cheek when she talks.
“Is it to distract me about the fact that you are walking without your crutches?”
“No” you giggle. “Can you walk without opening your eyes please?”
You take her bag from her hand and put your hands on her shoulder to walk easier towards the table. You make her stop and move to be able to watch her reaction.
“Ok, now you can open your eyes” you say when you are in the right place.
You totally ignore the table you settled a little bit before, your eyes only looking at her. Steph’s eyes go wild for a moment while she takes everything in sight. You are suddenly nervous, wondering if it’s maybe too much. Or stupid? You never talked about it finally, but isn’t a girl supposed to like being surprised?
Maybe it’s not a good idea finally, after being away Steph maybe just wants to take a shower and go to bed.
“Did you do all of it yourself?” she asks finally, turning to face you.
“Yeah” you nod, fidgeting with your fingers. “I wanted to thank you properly for the way you took so good care of me while I was just like a burden hurt teenager. I am really thankful for you and your patience and your kindness”
You are totally rambling now, talking a little too fast and almost breathless. You weren’t looking at her while talking, looking at the flowers in the middle of the table. But when you feel her grab your hand, you look at your girlfriend again.
“You have nothing to thank me for, I did it because I wanted it. Even if you are terrible to look after, you little troublemaker”
You smile shyly and let yourself relax when she hugs you. You pass your hands around her neck, taking advantage of your position to breathe her scent. You really missed her.
“Do you mind if I go take a shower quickly before we eat, though?”
“No, it’s a great idea. You stink” you smirk.
You giggle when she smacks you behind your head, clinging against her when she pretends to push you away.
“You’re so mean”
“Yes, but I made diner”
She rolls her eyes and smiles before you let her go. She doesn’t smell at all, but you totally understand the need to take a shower and refresh herself after a long travel day.
You lean on the furniture behind you, looking at her leaving to go to the bathroom.
“Steph?” you call her just before she closes the door.
“Yeah?”
You look at her curious face exceeding the port frame two seconds before smiling softly.
“I really missed you”
Her eyes go soft, and you would literally die for the smile coming on her face right now. There is a tenderness in her eyes, and you sometimes are still surprised when you realise that it is destined to you.
“I missed you too” she says softly. “I’ll be quick, okay?”
“Yeah” you smile back.
You look at her going inside the room again, before jumping back towards the kitchen.
“Use your crutches!” you hear her shout from the bathroom.
You roll your eyes again before deciding to oblige and go to look for them. You don’t really know where you left them, and you finally spot them next to the door of Steph’s bedroom. Then you go back to the kitchen and start to warm up a little what you will eat after the starters.
A little lost in your thoughts, you don’t hear Steph coming back. She takes you by surprise, passing her arms around your waist and kissing your cheek at the same time. You almost jump off your skin, which she seems to find very funny.
“You’re so annoying” you grumble, even if you are smiling.
You just can’t resist her laugh.
“I’m sorry. What can I do to help you?”
“Just put your ass on that chair, Catley”
“As you wish”
You weren’t expecting her to take you in her arms, carrying you like a bride, to the table. She then puts you in your chair before sitting in front of you. That wasn’t exactly how you were picturing things, but it’s maybe better like this. At least you aren’t scowled one more time because of those damn crutches.
You have to admit that you are pretty satisfied about how you were able to cook everything. You like cooking, you sometimes don’t have the time or even the energy to do it. But today you really liked cooking for your girlfriend.
After the diner, you went for a quick walk with Calvin and then to the living room. Arsenal men are playing, and it probably will be a good game. You take advantage to snuggle against Steph, happy to find her arms back. She absently strokes your back under your shirt while watching the game, talking sometimes about something that comes into your minds.
“Dean wrote to me earlier today” Steph says casually.
You feel your heart missing a beat and a strange feeling in the bottom of your stomach. All the fun you had after sharing Calvin's last mischief in the park is now very far away.
“What did he want?”
Your tone is flat, probably giving Steph a hint that you may not be handling this information as easily as you should.
“He wanted to see Calvin”
You can feel her eyes on you, but you look straight in front of you, looking at the TV screen without really looking at it.
“I thought Calvin was your dog only, not his?” you frown.
“He’s mine only, but he still wants to see him again”
You just hum for any answer. You don’t believe it for a single second, in your opinion it’s just an excuse to be able to see Steph again. You know that your girlfriend is the one who ended the things between them. Now that some time has passed, maybe he wants to see if they maybe could get closer again.
You don’t like the strange feeling, now not only in your stomach, but in all your body. You maybe are with Steph for several weeks even months now, but you still don’t take your relationship for granted. You are fully aware that you can lose Steph at any time. Few people know about your relationship after all, it would probably not mean much in the eyes of the world. To yours, however, it would be worse than anything.
On another hand, you can’t tell her that you don’t want her to see him. You won’t take that right.
You raise your eyes on Steph when she pokes at your ribs, to see that she’s still looking at you.
“You know that if I ended things and cancelled my engagement with him, it’s for a good thing, right?”
“Of course” you mumble, looking at the screen again.
She already told you that he might have a thing with a girl he was talking to while they were still together. But other than that, you never really asked about him. Steph never mentioned him either, to be fair.
“Are you still talking to him regularly?” you ask finally, raising your eyes on her again.
“Nope. It was the first time he wrote to me since Christmas. You’re the one being friend with your ex”
She’s right here. Since the confessions you made to Leila, you and her are friends again. She started throwing teasing comments on your Instagram’s post again and you call each other from time to time.
“If it bothers you…” you begin while sitting.
“Not at all” she smiles “It was just to point out that you are still in contact with one of your exes too. But I trust you.”
“I trust you too. But Leila knows we are together. Your ex doesn’t even know that you aren’t single anymore.”
“I’ll let him know, okay?”
She’s looking at you with so much affection that you can only smile back at her. You feel your body relax again and you cuddle closer to her again.
“Okay” you say, burying your face in her hoodie.
********
Several days later, you are finally able to walk without any crutches, having received the green light from the physio team. You don’t feel any discomfort in your foot anymore and it’s a really good point.
In fact, you were even able to train with the rest of the team today and that makes you happier than ever. You probably won’t be able to play that weekend, but it’s obvious that it will be okay for next week.
You are practically hopping when you come home that day, parking your car next to Steph’s one in the driveway. You frown when you see that there is another car too, not recognizing it like Beth’s car or even one of her teammates. In your memories, no one is driving a Skoda.
Like usual, Calvin comes to greet you when you arrive, this time silently stroking himself around your legs. You pet him, before hearing voices coming from the living room.
“I just… It doesn't make any sense to me. I thought you were friend with her, nothing else”
Dean. What the hell is he doing here? You frown again, taking two steps to be able to hear better what is happening in that living room. None of them heard you coming in.
“Nothing ever happened while we were together, Dean” you hear Steph sigh.
“Still. She just waited for us to be over to shoot her shot?”
“Not at all. She doesn’t even say anything, I kind of pushed her to know about her breakup at Emily’s wedding and… Well, you don’t have to know everything, but I was the one figuring out alone her feelings for me. Then all clicks and it was like evidence”
There is a beam of silence, only broken by Calvin chewing with application one of Dean’s shoes. You let him do it with a cold satisfaction. You don’t like the way that man tries to make you pass for the one corrupting Steph in the wrong way.
In contrast, you love the way Steph doesn’t share everything with him. It belongs to you and her, not him.
“And just for the record, you were the one getting over it very quickly with that girl from your medical team”
“It wasn’t serious. She was just a rebound”
“You were talking with her when we were still together.”
You can easily picture Steph, her eyebrow arched, and her arms crossed on her chest.
“It was a mistake” he sighs. “I shouldn’t have done that. If I knew it would push you to end things between us, I wouldn’t even have looked at her.”
“She wasn’t the reason for our breakup. I mean maybe a small part of it, but it wasn’t the big deal. What I said at this point was valid and still is. I just don’t have any love feeling for you anymore”
Must be painful to hear, but at least you have to give credit to Steph for standing her ground and being clear with him. You empathise a little bit with him though, you will be destroyed if Steph ended things between you. Even if you never will talk to someone else like he did.
“Okay but what will you do when you will want to start a family? You won’t even be able to do it together”
Okay, we are now finished with empathy. Maybe now is the best time to make your appearance. You go for the door again, opening it without any discretion.
“Love, I'm home!” you shout happily while almost slamming the door.
You take off your shoes quickly without even untie the laces, petting Calvin’s head.
“Living room” you hear her answer.
Deciding to put it more in the show, you start to talk while you are still outside the room.
“Did you know that Hayl… Oh. Hi.”
Dean and Steph are both standing in the room, separated by at least two meters from each other. You look at the both of them, taking the situation. He seems upset and doesn’t answer anything, and you drag your gaze away from him when Steph talks.
“Hi Sweets. How was training?”
“Great”
You smile at her and hesitate to go for her, but when she raises her arm to invite you to hug her, you don’t hesitate. You pass your arms around her waist, kissing her cheek softly. You don’t want to push things too far either, you know she won’t like it.
You cringe a little at the silence coming after that, exchanging a glance with Steph. You want to know what the hell is this guy doing here, but you don’t really know how to ask that question.
“Dean informed me that he found some of my things in his boxes and wanted to give them back” Steph informs you.
You probably will be forever grateful at how much Steph knows you and seems to read into you. You just nod before turning your eyes toward him. He was already looking at you and you know that look perfectly. He seems to be jealous of your proximity, but you won’t move.
Maybe it’s a stupid thing to want to mark territory, but you don’t want him to pop randomly at Steph’s door, now that he knows where she lives. Anyway, you don’t take your hand off of your girlfriend’s back.
“Lucky you were home” you finally answer.
“I didn’t realise I needed to ask for approval to see my ex-fiancée” he growls.
“She lives here too, actually” Steph intervenes before you even can open your mouth “She has her words to say”
You use your better poker face at this, because you totally aren’t living here officially. Now that you are able to walk correctly you could probably go back to your home, but you never really left. Steph never asked you to do and never made you feel like you were too much here.
“I have to go” Dean finally says. “I have training”
You don’t move but Steph nods, saying goodbye too. You can’t hide the smile creeping on your face when you hear him grumbling when he finds his chewed shoe, Calvin now sleeping peacefully on his bed next to the couch.
You love that dog.
When the door is closed, you feel Steph take a deep breath and lean a little more against you. You realised how tense she was, but you are surprised by such a relief.
“Are you okay?” you ask quietly, kissing her temple.
“It was the first time I saw him since I left our home” she explains to you. “I told him I was seeing someone without saying your name, but he didn’t want to leave before knowing how you are. I’m sorry, I don’t think we will be able to hide our relationship for any longer”
“It’s not a problem for me” you shrug. “People have known that I love women since my teenage era. What about you, though?”
“I don’t know” she begins slowly. “I haven’t any problem with Kyra knowing it to be honest. But maybe I’ll need to talk about it to my family first”
“Okay. If you need me, just tell me, yeah?”
Stephs smile softly at you, and you kiss her for good this time. The kiss is soft and slow, and you feel her thumb stroking your cheek softly.
“So, what did Hayley do?”
********
Later that day, you are looking at the ceiling, lost in your thoughts. Even if you tried all the rest of the day to forget about Dean and what he said, some things are dancing in your mind.
Did Steph and him talked about starting a family? And if it was the case, why does it bother you so much? They planned to get married; you shouldn’t be so disturbed with that. You know you are lucky to finally be with the girl of your dreams, but that strange feeling in the bottom of your stomach won’t go away.
You tried to distract yourself by cooking with Steph, playing some video games with her and telling her about your first training back since your injury, and it went pretty great to be honest.
But now with Steph under the shower and Calvin sleeping, you are alone with your thoughts.
“I was waiting for you to come with me”
Steph’s teasing voice makes you smile softly. You turn on your side to look at her when she enters the room, wearing a big shirt and probably panties, even if you can’t see them given the size of that shirt.
“You are the most beautiful girl in the world” you mumble.
Your smile grows wider when she rolls her eyes and makes one grimace of her own. You love her with her hair down.
“That’s true!”
“It’s not” she giggles while coming with you under the cover.
“Yes it is”
You let her have the time to lie on her back before you lay on her, sighing with ease. It’s your favourite spot in the world. You enjoy her stroke in your hair while she scrolls on her phone for several minutes, before starting to draw shapes on her hips with your fingertips.
“I can hear your brain boiling, Sweetheart” Steph finally says. “What’s going on?”
You bite your lips softly, looking for a way to approach things. Because she doesn’t know that you heard a big part of her conversation with Dean, and you don’t want to upset her. Your silence pushes her to try to guess what’s in your mind.
“Is it football related?” she asks first, and you shake your head no. “Is it about us?”
“Kinda” you hesitate. “I just…”
“Is it about something you heard earlier?”
Damn. You look at her, stunned, torn between guilt and amazement. You can see the ghost of a smile on her face and her eyes shining with fun.
“Do you think I really don’t know you?”
You roll your eyes with a smile, accepting the teasing easily. She doesn’t seem mad, and she waited for you to show something to talk about it. You really don’t deserve that girl.
“I didn’t want to intrude. I didn’t know it was him” you shrug.
“I knew it the second you passed the door” she smirks, making you smile too. “Plus, I don’t have anything to hide from you. What part of the discussion is playing with your head?”
Sitting on her hips, you pass a hand in your hair. You don’t know how to express yourself and how to tell her things. Once again, you don’t want to fight with her. But you promised each other early in your relationship that you will always discuss and talk about things, not to drag any misunderstandings along.
Steph waits patiently, looking softly at you while playing with the edge of your shirt. You finally decide to go straight to the point, it will be easier like this.
“When he talked about having a family. Is it something you discussed together?”
You try hard to fight against the pictures coming in your mind, focusing on your girlfriend’s pretty face.
“Not really” she frowns. “We were both into sport and I don’t think it was time for us to have this conversation. He was very traditional you know, first dating then living together, then engagement… One thing at time”
It does make sense actually. You nod softly, trying to process this information.
“But was it something you wanted?”
You watch her looking at you with a little bit of… angst maybe? That doesn’t seem good and just when you were going to tell her that you finally don’t want to know the answer to that question, she starts to talk again.
“No, not really. It’s very selfish but I wanted to finish my career before even thinking about it”
Oh. That wasn’t what you were expecting. It’s probably strange to feel a little relieved about it.
“It’s not selfish” you assure her with a smile, redrawing the features of her face with your fingers. “We, women, have to choose between sport or baby. It’s so stupid”
She nods softly, suddenly lost in her thoughts. It looks like things were exchanged because several minutes before you were the one thoughtful. Now you feel lighter than ever.
“What is it?” you ask, tilting your head on the side.
“What about you?”
“I was never serious enough in my relationships to even talk about it” you roll your eyes.
“That doesn’t mean you don’t want to have kid one day”
She has a point. You feel your cheek getting redder because to be honest, the idea of you and Steph with a little kiddo running with Calvin in a big garden is something you would love. Maybe even back in Australia, who knows.
“I do want kids, but not carelessly. I want to have time for them, all of that…”
“Okay” Steph smiles softly.
“And a great mummy to raise them with me” you add, winking at her.
“Okay” Steph says again, laughing this time.
“But not now, though”
“Not now”
Steph repeats your sentence before suddenly grabbing you by your hips to change your position, making you lie under her while she straddles you.
“We have something else to discuss first” she says.
“Oh, do we?”
“Yeah. What do I need to do for you to live officially here? Lose your keys? Burn your house?”
“You just have to ask” you laugh.
“In that case… Would you like to live here with me?”
“I’d love to”
She smiles at you with so much tenderness that you feel your heart almost burst with love. Taking her gently by the collar of her shirt, you drag her towards you to kiss her. She doesn’t wait any second to kiss you back, making you smile against her lips.
“You’re such a dork” you giggle shortly after.
“You love me, though” she answers, her head now on your shoulder.
“I do. You don’t know yet how much I do”
“I love you too.”
#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso one shot#steph catley imagine#steph catley x reader#steph catley
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Clark was ready for one of the more off-putting alien species. He was ready for something he'd never heard of before. He thought even some sort of time-traveling incident that resulted in more Martians would have been less surprising than this.
He'd combed through new federal legislation from the past two months. Danny had mentioned the ban as though it had just happened, but Clark would look back further if he needed to. He had no idea what he'd do if it was a state law; he knew Danny was in the Central Time Zone and almost certainly in the US, but he couldn't pinpoint it more clearly than that.
So yes, he'd prepared himself for some sort of Eldritch horror folded into human skin or violent race that was famed for massacres that Danny himself wasn't carrying out.
Clark had not prepared himself for ghosts.
"'-extra-dimentional ectoplasmic entities, self-identified as ghosts, hereafter refered to as ectoentities, are defined as any being with a physical makeup that includes 9% or more ectoplasm; or which needs ectoplasm to continue its existence. They have been deemed non-sapient and non-sentient threats to public and personal safety. As such, ectoentities are banned from all public and personal property. Knowingly harboring or aiding an ectoentity-' I mean, this is complete bullshit!" Lois hissed, cutting herself off and smacking the printout Clark had handed her. "You talk to Danny every other day; he's obviously sapient. And they folded it into a bunch of stuff about infrastructure, clearly hoping no one was going to read it. Clark, this says 'all necessary force authorized.'"
"I know," Clark responded, feeling sick. "They have a task force, apparently. One that can apparently harm these ghosts. They're clearly trying to prevent public panic by keeping this quiet, but if you searched the right things, I bet a Ghost Investigation Ward squad would show up anyway. There's a clause in there about the Patriot Act; it's on the third page."
Lois hissed like an angry cat, flipping the pages until she found the highlighted section. "You need to be careful what you email Danny. This is broad-spectrum permission to interfere when they even suspect someone's talking about an ectoentity."
"I need to find Danny," Clark replied. "His parents will almost certainly be on the side of this new law. If they find out what he is..." Some of Clark's worst nightmares come from the time he had just begun to understand how he was different from his peers and what that meant. Government experimentation was a recurring theme until well into his 20s. "I need to evacuate him."
"And that means you need to find him." Lois' eyes lit up with the challenge. "He's been cagey, right?"
"Yep," Clark sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I've tried to get more information out of him, to set him up with a mentor, but he clams up every time. Once, he stopped sending emails for a week. I don't think I could take the worry if I didn't hear from him after this."
"So we find him," Lois told him fiercely. "Are you an investigative journalist, or not? A young hero as divisive as this, no way he didn't make the news. What have you got so far?"
~*~
Three and a half weeks later, Lois slammed a newspaper page on the kitchen table, eyes lit up with the manic glow that she got when she was hot on the trail of a new story. "Amity Park, Illinois doesn't exist."
Clark paused, spoonful of cereal halfway to his mouth. "...okay?" he said uncertainly, lowering it.
"It used to exist, but they tried to erase it. But they couldn't erase everything." She jabbed a finger at an article in the paper impatiently.
Clark bent over it. A quick glance at the top told him that it was a copy of the Elmerton Enquirer from November of thirteen years ago. "'Elmerton Central Rams Face Casper High Ravens in Final Game of Season'?" he read. "What is this-?"
"In the article, it says the Casper High Ravens are the team from a city called Amity Park. A city I can't find a mention of anywhere else."
Clark finally started to catch on. "Is this about Danny?" They'd hit a brick wall on their search for the young hero almost instantly. There were no reports of unknown young heroes anywhere east of the Rockies.
They'd started smaller, of course. Clark had tentatively identified Danny as probably being in the Midwestern part of the Central Time Zone rather than Southern, based on his speech patterns and some of the things he'd said about the world around him. When that didn't turn up anything about any controversial heroes, they'd expanded it to all hero news in general, then to crimes getting stopped without anyone knowing how. They'd expanded the area they were looking at three separate times. Nothing they couldn't explain turned up. Clark was growing increasingly frantic, breathing a sigh of relief every time Danny sent another email. But he also knew that there was no guarantee the boy would keep being safe.
"Yes, it's about Danny!" Lois brought Clark back to the conversation at hand. "This is the only mention of Amity Park I've been able to find, and I had to have it mailed to me by a college friend in Chicago with an ex-boyfriend whose stepson has a best friend that moved to Elmerton to live with his grandmother who obsessively collects old papers that mention the charity she volunteered for. Do you know how hard it is to maintain that chain of communication without incurring the wrath of the Patriot Act?"
"Super hard," Clark guessed, mind already spiralling with the implications. "I'm assuming there's nothing online about Amity Park."
"Some sort of agent pair converged on the east branch public library 7 minutes and 36 seconds after I searched the town name," Lois told him, mouth tight. "I'm guessing that's our Ghost Investigation Ward. They wore all-white uniforms, so they should be pretty easy to spot."
"As long as they're in uniform," Clark replied grimly.
"As long as they're in uniform," Lois agreed. "I was able to find out that Amity Park isn't on any of the map softwares I could access. There was no mention on social media. No local paper online. I couldn't even find a parent portal for the high school."
"The agents didn't see you, did they?" Clark asked, suddenly straightening. "If we need to take an unplanned vacation to the farm-"
Lois waved him away. "I gave myself five minutes. And wore a wig. I still look terrible blonde."
"You look good in whatever you wear," Clark replied absentmindedly, scanning the article. There wasn't much information in it that helped them. "This says Elmerton and Amity Park are rivals. That means they're probably nearby each other, right?"
"I have the sudden urge to visit my old college friend," Lois said with a sharp smile. "Wanna come? We can leave Jon with Ma and Pa, maybe see what else Illinois has to offer?"
Clark was already reaching for his phone to call into work. "I think a bit of travel would be excellent for us."
Danny Fenton sends Superman a fan email in which he asks for advice. In it he says he is also a non-human hero (he is vague because being a ghost is illegal) Danny mentions that he is being raised by humans. His parents don't know about his activities or species and hate his kind.
Danny was mostly looking for advice on how to make people stop being scared of his non-human characteristics. But Clark really sees himself in this teenager's email. He knows he was lucky to get parents who loved him even as an alien, but he also recalls being young and scared that would change.
So they start regularly exchanging emails, and Superman becomes a kind of mentor even if Danny refuses to tell him anything about his identity.
#dpxdc#danny phantom#superman#dc comics#danny fenton#clark kent#lois lane#lois is going to come down on the giw with the wrath of a slighted god#there are going to be EXPOSES#there are going to be tearjerking interviews with ghosts#there is going to be jazz-assisted breaking into the fenton labs#there is going to be the horrified realization that a large portion of the town#including the majority of the high school students#have high enough ecto contamination levels to be considered ectoentities by law#there are going to be sapient rights violations left right and center :)#clark is going to be so righteously angry that he probably levels the giw base tbh#there is probably going to be adoption let's be real here#jazz and danny can pass as lois' neice and nephew whose parents just passed right?#my writing#my fic
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your star next to mine
nobody loves the earth for spinning, not really. it's been turning for 4.6 billion years with no applause. the sun rises then sets, and the moon follows suit. the stars flicker in their wake and the earth spins regardless. spencer thinks you’re more than the sun, moon, and stars combined.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)
genre: fluff
content: established relationshippp ugh waking up to spencer reid <3 actually more like spencer reid waking up to bau!reader (spoiler: hes out of this world in love with her)
word count: 1k
note: writing this made me SICKKKK with longing and yearning (they r so in love and i hate them for it ugh) sorry sorry writing ab stars and spencer reid in bed AGAIN im sorry i just want to romanticise small moments in life (theyre coming for me with a strait jacket as we speak)
a line: It’s hard to tell where you end and where he begins—Spencer hopes he never has to find out.
When The Big met The Bang and science happened before eyes that did not exist yet, collided and made love to each other was your star next to mine? Tell me, my love; did someone ever wish upon the star we are made from? - m. chase
There are roughly 7100 languages spoken and signed on earth. Spencer himself is familiar with at least seven of them. Russian, Latin, Middle English, to name a few. You remember him explaining the intricacies of medieval typography during your third date—You think you fell in love with him somewhere between his comparison of Gothic and Carolingian scripts.
Before there were text messages made up of abbreviations and emojis, there were letters. Love letters of thoughts born from lovelorn minds that made their way into granite, pressed against the grain of paper. Before that, feathered quills dipped in ink, sometimes splattering on parchment. A testament to words too heavy to get out right, but a need to get them out all the same.
But the earth has been spinning for 4.6 billion years. And before that, there were cavemen that carved primitive symbols into stone—etches and notches that archaeologists still devote their lives to deciphering. Spencer sometimes thinks that had he not joined the FBI, he might’ve found himself in their shoes, decoding ancient scribbles, a circle with four notches, stick figures huddling around it.
Now, he thinks, there’s not much left to figure out after all.
You turn in your sleep, hand searching for him in the mess of sheets. No words needed. I missed you, even in sleep. I miss you. Spencer shuffles a little closer to appease you, the small crease in your brow softens, almost vanishes, content when you find the curve of his hip. When Spencer places his hand over waist, he knows you know what he’s saying. I missed you too. I miss you, even in sleep.
Your hand shifts to accommodate his, intertwining with his in a way that makes his chest squeeze. It’s a dance you’ve both perfected, your fingers settling into the spaces between his. His hands are far from soft. The callus on his left palm is rough and worn, a result of years in the field with his gun. Yours aren’t perfect either—nails a little less neat than you'd like, a few nicks from the hurried days of recent weeks. His thumb traces the back of your hand. You give a small squeeze in return. And then two more. It’s instinctual—fingers find fingers. Spencer gives three squeezes back.
But then your hand pushes past his, brushing lightly over the scab on the small of his back—A close call with a bullet during last week’s case. Even in sleep, you frown at the reminder. Not a big deal, baby, he’d winced through the burning pain in an effort to reassure you. You’d cried anyway. Later, you’d marched straight to Hotch, demanding better bulletproof vests—I don’t care if they have a bigger budget, I want the kind they use down in D.C.
Spencer gently takes your hand and places it on his chest. The tension in your brow visibly eases. For a moment, it rests there, still and quiet, before it stirs again, sleepily travelling up to settle on the curve of his neck. The birthmark on your shoulder makes a quiet appearance when his shirt slides off you a little. A lover’s kiss from a past life. Spencer hopes it was him in your life before this. And the one before that. And all the other ones before that.
He breathes you in as you nuzzle into his neck, the motion guided by how tightly he pulls you to him. The only thing he loves more than falling asleep to you is waking up to you. It’s hard to tell where you end and where he begins—Spencer hopes he never has to find out. You pull back slightly humming lightly into his skin, a good morning before the good morning. A hi again, i’m glad it’s you i’m waking up to.
The strands of hair falling into your face can’t hide the explosion of color in your eyes when they sleepily blink open. Once, then twice, before you’re closing them again—It’s woefully insufficient. Spencer thinks of how constellations were once used for navigation. They guided sailors across vast oceans, helping them find their way home.
Then you’re leaning in to kiss him, eyes still closed. When the big met the bang all those years ago. His hand moves from your waist, tracing the curve of your spine, down your arm, and back up. You catch his bottom lip lightly between your teeth and Spencer sees stars. He thinks it’s a wonder you still have this effect on him after 439 days—206 of those being nights spent together. His fingers graze along your jaw before resting gently on your lips. A journey from waist to lips—one Spencer would gladly make a thousand times and more.
As someone with a PhD in Mathematics and who prides himself in his comprehension of logic and reason, Spencer knows infinity is an abstract idea. It’s an unreachable concept through mere arithmetic. But for you, he’d solve for it a million times over just so he doesn’t have to spend a single day without you. Honest to god, he doesn’t think he can. Truthfully, he doesn’t know how he’s managed to go so long without you in the first place.
When you pull away breathless, grinning, it’s almost a little wicked. You're definitely fully awake now. Cheeks flushed, lips red and rosy and you’re both leaning in again.
No words said. Lips to lips. A universal love letter through the ages. Pieces of parchment, folded and sealed, wax stamps guarding tenderness in ink. Hairs tucked inside lockets. Pictures in weathered wallets. From the sea to the shore, from the granite to the quills, from the stone to the paper. No words needed.
Nobody loves the Earth for spinning, not really. It's been turning for 4.6 billion years with no applause. The sun rises then sets, and the moon follows suit. The stars flicker in their wake and the earth spins regardless. Spencer thinks you’re more than the sun, moon, and stars combined.
There’s nothing else to decipher. A fact, pure and simple. An absolute consistency through and through.
Lips to lips, over and over. The big meets the bang, again and again. I love you, I love you, I love you.
⋆✴︎˚。⋆ hi if you're here! thank you so much for reading! likes, comments or reblogs are very much appreciated!
ᯓ★ song recs if you feel like it: sidelines by phoebe bridgers sailor song by gigi perez
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer x reader#spencer x self insert#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid x bau!reader
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Ok ok ok, who is Dawn, the tiefling? Can we get some history on them? I hope I'm not misunderstanding. Love your work!
No misunderstanding, you got it! Dawn is my paladin of Lathander OC, originally made for a pathfinder game that didn't pan out but as all rivers flow to the sea, my fantasy characters inevitably end up with a D&D/Forgotten Realms incarnation.
He's an Asmodeus-bloodline tiefling who was abandoned as a baby on the steps of a Lathander temple, the House of the Morning, and the clerics there took it as a great omen and portent that they had been delivered the blood of their enemy to strike back against the forces of evil~~. As such, they named the baby in the light of Lathander and raised him to be The Unbridled Glory of the Dawn.
Educated, trained, and conditioned to uphold Lathander's righteousness from the moment he could hold up a training sword, a huge amount of responsibilty and purpose was placed on Dawn's shoulders. He was raised to thank Lathander every morning that he had been delivered into the light instead of the infernal pits of 'his father's house'.
He and Evaric were squires together at the House of the Morning in Cormyr and they grew to be the best of friends. The companionship was one of the few personal outlets Dawn had in his youth even if he was subject to much stricter tenets than his human friend. Every moment of Dawn's life has been planned out and ordained in stone and scripture as the fire that overcome evil's flames.
With his identity so interwoven with the church, when Evaric left Cormyr it was a deep and personal blow to Dawn. It set him up with a view that his life and destiny was going to be a very lonely one, and he should take as much joy in Lathander's good works as he can.
Dawn is good at fighting, protecting, every bit the fairytale paladin and capable of being that destined sword to strike the forces of evil, but he would so much prefer to minister weddings, care for parents and babies as they're born, or simply walk through a festival of the arts sponsored by the church. But there's always some enemy of good to strike down, and he'll do it so others don't have to.
Tidbits:
Dawn's horns were shaped by the clerics to grow into the shape of a rising sun. The process stunted them and they will never grown longer.
Dawn paints beautifully. He loves to illustrate and illuminate new poems and stories.
His ideal profession would be as a midwife, because medicine and Lathander's dogma of new beginnings and rebirth are where he's found most comfort.
He is one of the happiest and most optimistic characters in my little D&D collection. He has a place, a purpose and meaning to his life that he cherishes (even if he doesn't cherish how many people and prophecies try to tell him how to live it.)
Dawn can be driven to the point of obsession when he knows something needs to be put right or anything needs to get done. You need a fearsome charisma roll to convince him to back down.
He holds the title of Morninglord in the Order of the Aster.
There is a statue of Dawn within the House of the Morning that he always remembers being there, but no one has ever told him if it was made before his birth or after it.
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It's a Match [Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader]
Masterlist || Ao3||Word Count: 7.6k|| AN: I rescheduled a hinge date to finish writing this (I wish I was joking)...that is the inspo for this. I really enjoyed this one, though!
Tags/Warnings: non-BAU!Reader, suggestive themes, canon-typical themes, implied sexual themes, dating apps, meet cute ? kinda?, Aaron Hotchner's POV, Garcia-the-ever-supportive-friend, The BAU giving Hotch shit, Garcia signing Hotch up for a dating app.
Summary: Aaron Hotchner rarely sought out the opinions of others, but when his co-workers' incessant nagging about getting back out in the dating world continues, he begins to think about it a little more clearly.
Aaron Hotchner wasn’t fond of his personal life being up for debate. At this point in his life, he rarely found himself seeking the advice of others. He found that relying so heavily on other’s input, only made him feel less confident in his decisions.
That isn’t to say that his team...his team that means well--he must add, that they…they tend to still give advice without him needing to ask for it.
In the low hum of the bullpen, Hotch tood with a stern expression, his eyes scanning the case files in a folder he held. Despite the typical chaos of phone calls and keyboard clacks, an undercurrent of a different sort awaited Hotch--a well-meaning, albeit persistent, nudge from his team towards something resembling a personal life.
“Hotch, you seriously need to get out more,” Garcia quipped as she approached him, her fingers dancing across a colorful tablet, laden with what Hotch assumed were not just case notes but potential social engagements. “It’s been ages since Beth and...well, you know.”
Hotch merely nodded, his jaw tightening slightly. He appreciated her concern, a softness blooming in his chest, but the thought of venturing back into the world of dating seemed daunting, a distant terrain.
“You have to admit, Jack’s practically a grown-up now. He’s got his own social calendar,” Prentiss joined in, her voice light, trying to tread carefully around the subject.
Hotch sighed, setting down the file he was holding. “I’m not sure I’m ready,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. This admission felt heavy, laden with the unspoken grief of losing Haley and the subsequent dissolution of what little personal life he had managed to rebuild.
Morgan leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed. “Look, man, no one’s saying jump into anything serious. Just...meet people. Have coffee. Laugh a little.” His tone was earnest, edged with concern.
Hotch rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling the weight of their stares. “I know you all mean well, but—”
“It’s healthy, Hotch!” Garcia interrupted, her voice vibrant, attempting to infuse some light into the somber mood. “And who knows? Maybe there’s someone out there who’s been waiting just for someone like you.”
Despite himself, Hotch’s lips twitched into a reluctant smile. He admired Garcia’s relentless optimism. “Maybe,” he conceded.
The team seemed to collectively hold their breath, waiting for more, but Hotch was not ready to offer anything beyond that concession. He glanced around at each of them, their faces etched with a mix of hope and caution.
“I’ll think about it,” Hotch finally said, a compromise that seemed to satisfy them for the moment. He hoped this was the last of it.
As the team dispersed back to their tasks, Hotch returned to his office. His hand brushed over a photo of Haley and Jack, the texture of the frame familiar and bittersweet under his fingers. He wasn’t sure if he was truly ready to let someone else into his life, but the warmth from his team’s concern was hard to ignore. Maybe it was time to start thinking about the possibility, even if the thought alone made his heart race with a mix of fear and anticipation.
Hotch didn’t need to be a profiler to know his team would bring this up…again. And again. And you know what? Probably again.
The evening found the team at a local bar, a rare collective moment of downtime that buzzed with laughter and casual banter. Hotch, though present and occasionally contributing to the conversation, often found his gaze wandering over the crowd, an observer more than a participant.
Garcia leaned in, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she nudged JJ, who was scanning the crowd with a mischievous grin. "Okay, so there's this woman at the bar," Garcia whispered loud enough for the team to hear, "and she looks perfect for Hotch."
Hotch, who had been sipping his scotch quietly, raised an eyebrow, his posture stiffening slightly. "I thought we agreed—"
"Oh, come on, Hotch, it’s just a bit of fun," JJ interjected, her gaze fixed on someone across the room. "No harm in looking, right?"
Morgan chuckled, clapping Hotch on the shoulder. "Let's see if Garcia's matchmaking skills are as good as her tech skills."
Reluctantly, Hotch turned his gaze towards the bar. The woman in question was laughing loudly, a little too boisterously, her movements slightly uncoordinated as she swayed to the music. As if sensing the attention, she looked over, her eyes locking with Hotch’s for a brief, unsettling moment before she raised her glass in a sloppy salute.
Hotch’s lips thinned, his discomfort clear. He turned back to his team, shaking his head. "I don't think—"
Before he could finish, the woman decided to make her way over, her steps uneven, a clear sign of her inebriation. Garcia and JJ exchanged a glance, their initial enthusiasm dimming as they watched the scene unfold.
"Hey there, handsome," the woman slurred as she approached Hotch, her voice loud enough to draw the attention of nearby patrons. "I saw you staring. Buy me a drink?"
Hotch stood, his FBI training kicking in to manage the situation with politeness mixed with firmness. "I believe you’ve had enough for tonight," he said, his voice low and calm.
The woman pouted, leaning closer, her sense of personal space clearly compromised by alcohol. "Oh, come on, don't be such a party pooper."
From the table, Rossi raised an eyebrow, his expression one of concern as he watched Hotch handle the delicate situation. Prentiss covered her mouth, trying to hide her cringe, while Morgan finally stood, ready to intervene.
"Ma'am, I think you need to go back to your friends," Morgan said, steering her gently but firmly by the elbow.
As the woman was guided away, muttering under her breath, Hotch sat back down, rubbing the bridge of his nose. The team was silent for a moment, the previous mirth replaced by a shared awkwardness.
Garcia finally broke the silence, her voice soft. "I’m sorry, Hotch. That was not what we expected."
JJ nodded, adding, "Yeah, we just thought...I don’t know what we thought."
Hotch managed a small smile, appreciating their intentions despite the outcome. "It’s okay. I know you both mean well." His gaze shifted to his glass, his mind not on the failed attempt at matchmaking, but on the quiet realization that perhaps he wasn’t quite as ready as they hoped he’d be to jump back into the dating scene.
The team spent the rest of the evening avoiding any further matchmaking attempts, focusing instead on stories from past cases and plans for the weekend. Hotch listened, occasionally contributing, but mostly he appreciated the laughter and the familiar, comforting presence of his team.
As they left the bar later that evening, Hotch felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder--Rossi’s silent support. "You'll know when it’s time, Aaron," Rossi said quietly, his voice carrying a weight of understanding.
Hotch nodded, the night’s air cool and refreshing as it cleared the remnants of the bar’s claustrophobia. "Thanks, Dave," he said, feeling a little lighter. Despite the evening’s missteps, the bond with his team had never felt stronger. He knew they had his back, in the field and beyond, and that was enough--for now.
But then it happened again and Hotch began to feel cornered by his own team. It was getting a bit ridiculous, if you asked him.
The dull roar of the jet’s engines served as a backdrop to the team's winding down conversations, each member settling into their seats, weary yet content after a successful case closure. As the aircraft hummed its way through the skies, Derek Morgan turned his attention towards his teammates, a grin spreading across his face as he hatched another of his well-intentioned plans.
“Alright, gentlemen,” Derek began, his voice filled with a conspiratorial warmth, “I say this weekend, we do a guys’ night out. Just us, some good food, maybe a few drinks, and see what kind of trouble we can find.”
Hotch raised an eyebrow, a silent question hanging in the balance as he met Derek’s gaze. He appreciated Derek’s efforts, always aimed at lightening the mood or bringing them together off the clock, but the idea of a night focused on meeting women wasn’t particularly appealing.
Rossi, who had been quietly reading a book, looked up with a smirk. “Speak for yourself, Morgan. I don’t need wingmen,” he said, his voice smooth and confident. “And I doubt Aaron here needs one either. When he’s ready, he’s ready. No pressure needed.”
Derek laughed, turning to Reid, who was absently shuffling some papers. “What about you, pretty boy? You think you got game?”
Reid looked up, blinking behind his glasses. “I-I suppose I could… that is to say, I have read extensively on social dynamics and interpersonal—”
“Spencer, if you have to quote a study, it’s not game,” Hotch interjected, a rare, teasing tone in his voice as he shared a knowing look with Rossi.
Reid’s cheeks tinged pink, but his lips curved into a smile. “Well, I might surprise you,” he countered, the mock offense clear in his tone.
The banter lightened Hotch’s mood, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as the familiar and comforting dynamic of their team played out around him. It was these moments, simple and unadorned, that reminded him of what mattered most.
Derek clapped his hands together, his smile broadening. “Alright, it’s settled then. We’ll table the wingman idea for now, but we’re still doing guys’ night, agreed?”
“Agreed,” Rossi and Reid chimed in, their voices overlapping.
Hotch nodded, feeling a sense of relief at the postponement of the original plan. “Agreed,” he added, his voice firm yet grateful.
As the conversation drifted to other topics, Hotch leaned back in his seat, his gaze fixed on the dark window, reflecting the soft interior lights of the jet. The thought of venturing back into the world of dating remained daunting, a distant shore he wasn’t quite ready to explore.
It seemed like not-subtle attempt, after not-subtle attempt, Hotch felt like he was getting further and further away from the idea of wanting to meet someone.
Hotch's reluctance to step back into the dating world was not born of fear, nor was it due to a lack of interest in companionship. Rather, it was the weight of his past--a tapestry woven with profound love and devastating loss--that anchored him. The memories of Haley, vibrant and alive, contrasted sharply with the harrowing night of her death. Then there was Beth, a chapter that had closed gently, but still a loss that added layers to his guarded heart.
As he sat there, his eyes occasionally flickering to the photos of Jack on his desk, Hotch considered the complexities of introducing someone new into their lives. Jack, now a teenager, was his priority, and any disruption that could unsettle the stable life he had fought so hard to provide was a risk Hotch was hesitant to take.
The responsibilities of his role at the BAU further complicated matters. His job was not just a career; it was a calling--one that demanded everything of him, including long hours and the mental toll of delving into the darkest corners of human behavior. How could he find or ask someone to understand that? Hotch's brow furrowed as he considered this. How could he bring someone into this world--his world--where danger was a constant companion and where the balance between life and death was often precariously thin?
Hotch was lost in the meticulous review of case files when the whirlwind known as Penelope Garcia burst into his office, her tablet clutched like a treasure chest of mischief. Her arrival was usually heralded by her exuberant chatter or the bright clash of her eclectic fashion, but today it was her wide grin that signaled she was up to something particularly Garcia-esque.
"Hotch, you are not going to believe what I've done!" she exclaimed, barely containing her excitement as she approached his desk.
Hotch looked up, his expression a blend of wariness and resignation. "Garcia, please tell me you haven't hacked into another government database." He thought this moment itself could take years off his life.
"No, silly!" She waved off the comment with a flick of her wrist. "Something much better. I've signed you up for a dating app!" She beamed, clearly proud of her handiwork.
Hotch’s eyebrows knitted together in concern. "Garcia, you know how dangerous those can be. I have no business being on a dating app."
"Oh, come on, Hotch! This is how people meet nowadays. It's all very safe, and you can be upfront about what you're looking for through DMs!" Garcia explained, her enthusiasm undimmed.
"DMs?" Hotch frowned, his confusion evident.
"Direct messages, Hotch. Keep up!" She tapped on her tablet, pulling up a profile that Hotch hoped against hope wasn’t his. His hope was in vain.
Garcia turned the tablet toward him, revealing a profile complete with photos of Hotch that looked suspiciously candid and slightly dated. "See? I even picked your best photos. This one's from that beach vacation you took ten years ago. You're shirtless! It's gold, Hotch, pure gold."
Hotch stared at the photo, his mind racing back to a much simpler time. "Garcia, I barely even look like that anymore. Where did you even find this?"
"In the deep recesses of the BAU annual trip photo archive thingy," she quipped, winking. "And everyone needs at least bathing suit photo, Hotch. It's like an unwritten rule of dating apps."
Garcia proceeded to scroll through the profile, pointing out the interests she had listed for him. "Look, I put down that you love long walks on the beach, are an aficionado of fine wines, and have a passion for rare book collecting."
Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "Garcia, I’ve never collected a book in my life, unless case files count."
She shrugged, undeterred. "Details, Hotch, details. It's all about selling the dream."
Despite his frustration, a small smile tugged at the corners of Hotch's mouth. Only Garcia could get away with this level of audacity. She gleefully showed him how to use the app, swiping through various screens before downloading it onto his phone with practiced ease.
As Garcia finally left his office, still bubbling with excitement, Hotch looked down at the app icon on his phone. He couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, this could be a good thing. Shaking his head, he chuckled softly to himself. "Only Garcia," he muttered, his annoyance fading to a fond exasperation.
Left alone with his new digital dating life, Hotch tapped on the app, curiosity overcoming his initial reluctance. As he scrolled through the interface, the absurdity of the situation struck him, and he couldn't help but let out a genuine laugh. Maybe exploring this new world wouldn’t be so bad, especially if it gave him more stories to share with Garcia--just maybe not the ones she was hoping for.
One night soon after, Hotch made it home at a reasonable (well, still very late) time--reasonable for him. He settled into the unusual quiet of his apartment, the absence of Jack's lively presence making the space seem larger and more silent than usual. With a sigh, he resigned himself to a solitary evening--a rare slice of downtime that was both welcome and unnerving.
After a moment of hesitation, curiosity nudged him towards the dating app that Garcia had enthusiastically installed on his phone. He still harbored reservations about the entire concept, but with the night stretching empty before him, the app seemed like a harmless diversion..
Sitting comfortably on his couch, Hotch opened the app and began navigating through it with a tentative curiosity. The light from his phone cast a soft glow in the dim room as he scrolled through profiles, his face a mask of concentration.
Methodically, he started tweaking his profile, softening Garcia's more flamboyant embellishments to reflect his true nature. He made it clear he was a devoted father and that his--undisclosed to the app--job was demanding, requiring anyone interested to understand the stakes of his career. His description was straightforward--seeking a meaningful connection with someone who could appreciate the complexities of his life.
As he swiped through the profiles, Hotch's brow furrowed slightly. Many were immediately unsuitable--too young, too flashy, or just too far from what he felt comfortable with. One profile made him pause, the woman's intense stare and array of self-purchased tactical gear a bit too reminiscent of an unsub profile he'd studied just weeks before.
But then, he swiped to the next profile, and everything stopped. The woman's photos--your photos exuded warmth and sincerity, your smile genuine, reaching your eyes and lighting up your entire face.
Your description was simple yet profound, speaking of your love for literature, your passion for teaching, and your volunteer work with children. It wasn't just your physical appearance that caught his attention--it was the evident kindness and intelligence that shone through your words.
Hotch's finger hovered over the screen for a moment before he decided to swipe right, feeling a strange surge of hope. The screen flashed, and the word "Match!" appeared. A small, surprised smile touched his lips. It was the first profile he had responded to positively, and the immediate match was unexpected.
For a moment, Hotch stared at the screen, the implications of the match settling in. This was uncharted territory for him, stepping into a world of potential and possibilities. With a deep breath, he opened the messaging feature, contemplating his first words to you. He wanted to convey sincerity and interest, a reflection of the authenticity that had drawn him to your profile in the first place.
As he typed out a simple greeting, careful to be both respectful and engaging, Hotch felt a flicker of something like excitement—or perhaps it was just the thrill of new beginnings. Whatever it was, it felt right, and for the first time in a long time, Aaron Hotchner allowed himself to feel cautiously optimistic about the path unfolding before him.
The digital conversation was new territory for him, each notification a pulse of unfamiliar excitement. When your reply came, it was both thoughtful and warm, sparking a connection that seemed to transcend the mere pixels of his screen.
As the messages exchanged grew more frequent and personal, Hotch admitted, somewhat reluctantly, that he was a novice in the realm of online dating. He explained how his work shaped his cautious view on things like dating apps, and he confessed that it was his team’s encouragement that led him here.
You responded with understanding, echoing his sentiments about the unusual path that brought you both to this app, yet expressing a selfish gladness that his coworkers had nudged him into this new experience. It was a sentiment Hotch couldn’t help but share, feeling a connection building that was both surprising and delightful.
The conversation naturally flowed, and soon, you suggested shifting from texting to something more personal. "I'm not much for messaging," you wrote, "Would you be up for a video call instead?"
Hotch felt a wave of relief wash over him. Navigating the app was one thing, but speaking to someone, hearing their voice, that was familiar ground. He agreed eagerly, and within moments, he was waiting for the call to connect, his heart rate subtly quickening.
He was glad this didn’t allow for much time to think in between--he’d be afraid he would talk himself out of it. Find a million reasons why he shouldn’t be doing this.
When your face appeared on his screen, the connection was instantaneous. You were even more captivating in motion, your smile lighting up the digital space between you. Hotch found himself momentarily lost for words, taken aback by how the interaction felt so natural, so right.
"Hi," he started, his voice steadier than he felt. "I hope it’s okay to say this, but you’re even more beautiful than your pictures."
You laughed, a sound that was both melodic and grounding, easing the last of Hotch's nerves. "Thank you, Aaron. You're quite the charmer yourself."
As the conversation unfolded, the chemistry was undeniable. You both shared stories, your laughter mingling through the airwaves, bridging the physical distance with ease. Hotch, typically reserved, found himself opening up about aspects of his life that he seldom discussed outside his closest circles.
You were a professor at a university. A bit younger than him, but did not seem phased by that--especially considering his age, height, along with way too many other physical details, were displayed on his profile.
Encouraged by the undeniable connection, Hotch took a breath before voicing a thought that had been on his mind since the call began. "I don’t mean to be forward, but I would really like to meet you in person. Would you like to go out for dinner this week?"
Your smile broadened, and it was all the confirmation Hotch needed. "I'd love to, Aaron. That sounds wonderful."
Plans were made for a dinner later that week, the details ironed out with mutual enthusiasm. As the call ended, Hotch sat back, a sense of accomplishment and anticipation settling over him. He hadn’t expected this when he first opened the app, but now, he couldn’t deny the potential that lay ahead.
He placed his phone down, his mind replaying moments from the call, each laugh and shared story a promise of possibilities.
Hotch’s mind was a tumult of apprehension as he prepared for the evening. Each scenario he imagined was tinged with the occupational hazard of suspecting the worst. Yet, he meticulously chose his attire, settling on a sharp, dark suit that matched his formal, reserved nature. Despite the nerves, a part of him--the part trained to face unknowns head-on--compelled him forward.
He arrived at the restaurant punctually, the ambiance a blend of soft lighting and quiet chatter, ideal for a meaningful first date. Standing at the entrance, he scanned the area for you, his heart rate ticking upward not out of fear, but anticipation.
When he finally saw you, everything else fell away. You were waiting at the table, looking up from your menu with a smile that drew him in completely. As he approached, Hotch felt the last of his doubts dissolve, replaced by an unexpected surge of hope.
"Hi," he greeted, voice steady despite the whirlwind inside. "You look incredible."
You stood to meet him, extending a confident hand that he shook gently. "Thank you, Aaron. You're quite dashing yourself. I’m so glad to meet you in person."
As you both sat, the conversation began to flow naturally between the ordering of drinks and dishes. Hotch found himself genuinely smiling, engaged by your insights and humor. Almost forgetting that this was someone who had been a total stranger to him not long before.
"So, you're a professor?" he inquired, genuinely interested. He remembered you mentioning it briefly in your first initial conversation.
"Yes, I teach literature. I like to think of myself as a life-long learner and to be able to share words and pages that shaped so many lives--it’s incredible," you explained, your eyes lighting up with enthusiasm.
"That sounds extremely rewarding," Hotch commented, noting the passion in your voice. "It must be fascinating to see students develop their understanding over a semester."
"It is," you agreed. "And what about you? I know you work for the DOJ, but what does that entail day-to-day?"
Hotch hesitated, weighing how much to share, before deciding on honesty--he couldn’t deny that your presence…your aura made it easy to want to share. "It's challenging. My job can be intense--managing cases, leading a team. But it's fulfilling, knowing we're making a difference."
You nodded thoughtfully, sipping your glass of wine and looking at him over the rim of the glass. "It sounds like you're very dedicated. I admire that."
The conversation shifted seamlessly to lighter topics, and eventually to Jack. "He's staying with a friend tonight," Hotch mentioned. "He's growing up fast, involved in sports, school...it keeps us both busy."
"It sounds like you're a great father," you noted, your tone warm. "Balancing such a demanding job and raising him."
Hotch appreciated the compliment, feeling a flush of pride. "I try my best. Jack is my priority. It’s just us two."
As the dinner progressed, there was a mutual, comfortable--and natural--level of flirting that neither of you shied away from. You leaned in slightly, your interest clear as you spoke, "I must say, Aaron, I was a bit nervous about this date, I’ve never been on a date from an app before…but you've made this evening truly enjoyable."
Hotch mirrored your movement, leaning in, driven by a rare impulse to connect. "I can honestly say the same. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I'm glad I came tonight."
The evening ended with a promise to see each other again, both of you reluctant to part ways after such a promising start. As Hotch walked you to your car, he felt a lightness he hadn't experienced in years.
"Thank you for tonight," he said, standing a bit closer. "I'm looking forward to seeing you again soon."
"I'd like that," you smiled, your confidence and warmth evident even in the dim light of the parking lot.
As you drove away, Hotch remained for a moment, watching the taillights fade into the night. He allowed himself a small, hopeful smile, a sense of anticipation for the future blossoming inside him. Tonight, Aaron Hotchner felt not just the skilled agent, but a man stepping into a new chapter of his life, unexpectedly uplifted by the promise of new beginnings.
As Aaron Hotchner and you grew closer, the budding relationship unveiled a lighter side of Hotch, one that had been subdued for years under the weight of responsibility and duty. The dynamic between you was characterized by a playful banter that coaxed smiles and even laughter from the normally stoic FBI agent.
One crisp evening, as you both enjoyed a casual stroll through a local art festival, you pointed at a particularly abstract painting. "So, Aaron, if you were an art critic, what profound analysis would you offer here?"
Hotch studied the painting, his brow furrowng in mock seriousness. "Well," he began, adopting a thoughtful tone, "I would say that the chaotic swirls represent the tumultuous nature of...let's say, choosing the perfect wine to go with dinner."
You laughed, bumping his shoulder lightly with yours. "That sounds suspiciously like last night’s dilemma. Did this piece just speak to your soul?"
He turned to you, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement. "It might have. Or maybe it’s reminding me that I should stick to my day job."
The conversation flowed effortlessly as you both shared stories and insights. Later, sitting at a small café, Hotch opened up about his work with a rare openness, prompted by your genuine interest and lack of judgment.
"You know, most people get intimidated when I talk about my job," Hotch admitted, stirring his coffee slowly.
"You're not just your job, Aaron," you responded, smiling warmly. "Though, I must admit, it’s a pretty impressive part of who you are. But I’m more interested in the man who can quote Shakespeare and knows his way around an impressive omelet."
Hotch’s smile was genuine, a little wider this time. "Well, I could say the same about a woman who can discuss Renaissance literature and beat me in a game of chess."
As the evening wore on, Hotch found himself sharing more than he usually allowed. The topic of fatherhood--the most important part of his identity, always seemed to weave his way through. And now, having a teenager, a wise teenager, it didn’t take long before Jack picked up on the fact that Hotch was seeing someone.
"Jack’s been asking about you," he said cautiously, observing your reaction.
"Is that so?" you grinned, clearly pleased. "And what exactly have you told him about me?"
"That his dad is spending time with a very smart, beautiful, and funny woman who might just be a worse cook than I am."
Your laughter filled the space between you, and Hotch felt a warmth that went beyond the ambient glow of the café’s lights. "Challenge accepted. I’ll have you know, my culinary skills are...in development."
The playful back-and-forth continued, with each exchange gently peeling back layers of Hotch's reserved exterior. It was clear to both of you that something significant was taking root--something filled with potential and promise.
As you parted ways that evening, Hotch felt an ease and contentment that was new and invigorating. "I'm looking forward to our next culinary showdown," he teased, his tone light but sincere.
"And I, for one, can’t wait to see what other hidden talents you have, Agent Hotchner," you replied, your voice playful yet affectionate.
Walking back to his car, Hotch allowed himself a rare, contented smile. This new chapter with you was unfolding into something unexpectedly wonderful, showing him that life could indeed be vibrant and full of surprises, even for someone as grounded in reality as SSA Aaron Hotchner.
After an elegant evening at the theater, Aaron Hotchner found himself walking with you to the car under a starlit sky, the air crisp and cool, perfect for the light jackets you both wore. The play had been a profound one, sparking rich conversation between the two of you that continued as you strolled. Your love for classic literature and his lost love for theatre combined.
Hotch, typically reserved, felt an unusual flutter of anticipation mixed with a warmth that had grown steadily since the night began.
He had thought about this often, but never felt the need to bring it up--in due time, he thought, but tonight…tonight felt like it was due.
"You know," Hotch began, his voice calm but carrying an undercurrent of emotion, "I can't believe we've been seeing each other for this long, and I haven’t even—"
You turned to face him, a teasing sparkle in your eyes. "Haven’t even what, Aaron?"
He paused, looking into your eyes which were reflecting the soft streetlights. "Kissed you," he admitted, the words feeling more significant as they hung in the air between you.
Your smile widened, and you stepped a little closer, diminishing the space between you. "Is Aaron Hotchner nervous about a kiss?" you asked playfully, tilting your head as you gazed up at him.
The corner of Hotch's mouth lifted in a half-smile, a rare show of his lighter side that you had slowly uncovered. "Maybe," he confessed, his usual confidence tempered with a vulnerability he rarely showed. "But only because it feels important."
"It is," you agreed softly, your hand finding his. "But only because it’s you."
That was all the encouragement Hotch needed. He leaned down, his heart beating a touch faster as his lips met yours in a gentle, searching kiss. It was a kiss that started tentatively but grew more confident as you responded, your hands moving up to lightly grasp his jacket.
The world seemed to quiet around you, the buzz of the city fading into a distant hum. Hotch’s free hand came up to gently cup your cheek, his touch tender yet certain. The kiss deepened, stirring a warmth that spread through his entire body, a feeling of rightness that was both exhilarating and calming.
When you finally parted, both of you were slightly breathless, a flush on your cheeks that matched the one on Hotch’s. You laughed softly, the sound like music to his ears.
"So, was it everything you hoped it would be?" you teased, your eyes dancing with mirth.
Hotch, still holding you close, nodded. "Even more," he said sincerely. "I think using that app might have been one of the best decisions I've ever made."
Your laughter rang out again, joyous and free. "Just for the record, you're the only one I ever made it on a date with," you shared, giving him a playful nudge.
"And you were the only one I ever messaged," Hotch revealed, his usual stoicism warmed by the affection in his voice. "I guess we both got incredibly lucky."
The drive to bring you home was filled with a comfortable silence, punctuated by shared looks and soft smiles. When he stopped at your place, Hotch leaned over to kiss you again, this time with a confidence borne of the shared connection that had only deepened since the first.
"Goodnight," he said, his voice low and filled with a promise of more to come.
"Goodnight, Aaron," you replied, your hand squeezing his for a moment longer before you stepped out,
As Hotch drove away, his mind replayed every moment of the evening, each memory a treasure. He realized, with a clarity that was almost startling, just how much he had come to care for you.
Days later, Hotch sat solemnly at the round table, his usual composed demeanor slightly offset by an underlying layer of disappointment. As the team geared up for an abrupt deployment to handle a pressing case, Hotch couldn't help but think about the dinner plans he had to cancel with you. He had been looking forward to a relaxing evening, a rare chance to step away from the demands of his job and focus on the burgeoning relationship that had become a significant source of joy in his life.
"I'm sorry, I can't make it tonight," Hotch had said over the phone earlier, his voice carrying a weight of regret.
"It's okay, Aaron," you had responded, your tone light and teasing. "I'll just have to spend the evening sending you flirty texts instead. Stay safe, and catch the bad guys, okay?"
Despite your understanding and playful reassurance, the disappointment lingered. As the team discussed logistics and profiles, Hotch's mind wandered momentarily, reflecting on the personal sacrifices that came with his role at the FBI.
Suddenly, Garcia's voice snapped him back to reality. "Hotch, you seem more down about this trip than usual. Anything you want to share with the class?" Her tone was lightly teasing but underscored with genuine concern.
Hotch cleared his throat, shifting slightly in his seat. "It's nothing," he started to dismiss, hoping to steer back to the case details.
But Garcia, ever perceptive, wouldn't let it go that easily. She leaned forward, her eyes narrowing playfully. "No, no, no, this has to be something good. Wait! Did you meet someone on the dating app?"
The room quieted, all eyes suddenly on Hotch. The surprise on his team's faces was palpable, a mix of curiosity and amusement.
Hotch sighed, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he realized there was no dodging Garcia's sharp intuition. "Yes, I met someone."
"And I can tell he's incredibly happy," Garcia added, her voice squealing with excitement, filling the room with her infectious energy.
The team erupted in a mixture of chuckles and supportive remarks. "Hotch on a dating app, now that's something I didn't see coming," Morgan commented with a grin.
Rossi raised an eyebrow, his expression one of mock seriousness. "So, this is serious then?"
"It's...going well," Hotch admitted, allowing himself a small moment of vulnerability in front of his team. "And yes, I'm happy. It's just hard balancing the job with personal life sometimes. I forgot how difficult it is to cancel on someone you--someone you're starting to care a lot about."
The team's demeanor softened, understanding the conflict Hotch felt. Prentiss leaned in, her voice gentle. "We get it, Hotch. But it sounds like she does too. That's a good sign, right?"
Hotch nodded, appreciative of the support. "It is. She's very understanding. Makes it a bit easier."
Garcia beamed, her eyes twinkling with excitement. "Oh, I need to know everything. When we get back, you're giving me details, Hotch. Deal?"
Hotch couldn't help but laugh, the sound rare enough to cause a few surprised looks. "Deal, Garcia."
After all, he did feel like he owed Garcia…so much in this moment for if it wasn’t for her, he’d never had met you.
Throughout the duration of a challenging and complex case, Aaron Hotchner found moments of reprieve through the buzz of his phone. Each notification a reminder of the intriguing connection he’d developed with you.
Your texts, infused with lightness and wit, became small beacons of joy amid the high-pressure environment of his work.
One evening, as he and the team were wrapping up a long day of interviews and evidence analysis, Hotch’s phone vibrated with a new message from you. He glanced around--most of the team was absorbed in their tasks--and allowed himself a moment to read your text.
"Thinking of a proper celebration for when you get back...Maybe we can explore the possibility of moving past just kisses? I have a few ideas I think you’d approve of..."
The message was smooth, playful yet suggestive, and it caught Hotch off guard. He felt a flush of warmth spread through him, a mixture of anticipation and slight disarray, emotions he usually kept neatly compartmentalized.
Sitting back in his chair, Hotch let out a small, almost imperceptible sigh.
It was rare for him to connect with someone so deeply that thoughts of them could so easily unsettle his usual stoic demeanor. Yet, you did just that, and he found himself not only accepting this new dynamic but eagerly looking forward to what it promised.
He typed a response, his fingers pausing above the keyboard as he considered how best to reply. Finally, he settled on a message that matched your playful tone while still holding onto his inherent reserved nature.
"Exploring new possibilities sounds like an excellent plan. I’ll look forward to your ideas... very much so."
Sending the text, Hotch felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. It was an unfamiliar sensation to look forward to personal plans with such anticipation, but it was one he found increasingly appealing.
As he pocketed his phone and returned his focus to the case files spread out before him, Hotch’s thoughts momentarily drifted to what awaited him upon his return. The prospect of deepening his relationship with you brought a sense of excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Even amidst the demanding rhythms of his job, Hotch found himself counting down the days until he could see you again, eager to explore the new dimensions of their relationship. The playful, flirtatious exchanges were more than just brief escapes from his responsibilities; they were reminders of the burgeoning connection that might just redefine his understanding of balance between his dedication to his work and his personal life.
After wrapping up the demanding case, Hotch found himself outside your apartment, his anticipation a palpable presence within him. He had been thinking about this moment throughout the flight back--about you, about the promise of what lay ahead. The door opened to your welcoming smile, and any remaining trace of professional tension melted away as he stepped inside.
For the first time in a long time, he felt like he could leave work at the door.
The evening unfolded effortlessly, as if every moment were simply meant to be. Dinner was a shared endeavor, filled with laughter and gentle touches that spoke louder than words. As the night deepened, so did the connection between you, pulling you both inevitably toward a more intimate closeness that felt both exhilarating and utterly right.
Later, wrapped in the warmth and softness of your bed, Hotch lay beside you, his arm securely around you, feeling the comforting weight of your head against his chest. The room was quiet, the only sound the gentle breath of two people content in each other's presence. It was a profound intimacy that Hotch had rarely allowed himself to experience, yet with you, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
"You know," Hotch began, his voice soft and thoughtful, "I never imagined that downloading an app would lead me here, to this moment. But I'm incredibly glad it did."
You shifted slightly, turning to face him. In the dim light, he noticed a hint of shyness in your expression--an unusual trait for someone usually so vibrant and confident. "Aaron, I need to tell you something, and I’m a little afraid it might be too soon...or…or how you might react."
He tightened his embrace reassuringly. "Sweetheart, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?"
You nodded, taking a deep breath before speaking. "It's just that...I've never connected with anyone like this before. Not from a dating app, not in real life. Like I feel crazy. And it scares me a little because I think I’m falling in love with you."
Hotch’s heart skipped a beat, not just at your words but at the earnest vulnerability with which you spoke them. For a brief moment, he was speechless, overwhelmed by the depth of his own feelings that mirrored yours.
"I’ve been trying to make sense of it all myself," he confessed, his voice a whisper against your hair. "This isn’t just unusual for me; it’s unprecedented. But hearing you say that...it’s exactly how I feel. I’m falling in love with you, too."
Relief and joy mingled in your eyes, and you moved closer, pressing a kiss to his chest--a simple, sweet gesture that sealed the words just shared. Hotch felt a profound peace settle over him, the kind that came from finding something real and true.
As you both lay there, entwined in the quiet aftermath of shared revelations, the world outside seemed inconsequential. In that room, with the soft glow of the nightlight casting gentle shadows, Aaron Hotchner wasn’t just an FBI agent or a guarded widower; he was a man deeply in love, grateful for every unpredictable twist of fate that had led him to you.
"You know," you whispered, a playful twinkle returning to your voice, "this is going to make a great story someday--how a skeptical FBI agent fell for a girl from a dating app."
Hotch chuckled, the sound rich and content. "It’s a story I look forward to telling again and again," he agreed, pulling you closer.
As days turned into months, Hotch experienced a transformation in his daily life--a lightness and joy that were new and profoundly delightful.
Your relationship flourished; the connection deepened with each passing moment you spent together. Jack met you and took an immediate liking to you, his youthful judgment never faltering. The integration of you into his and Jack’s life felt seamless, natural, like pieces of a puzzle that had been waiting to find their place.
You were fiercely independent and career-driven, qualities that resonated deeply with Hotch. The balance between your professional pursuits and personal life mirrored his own, creating a perfect symmetry that allowed both of you to thrive without sacrificing the bond growing between you.
Reflecting on this, Hotch couldn’t help but think back to several months ago when his team, especially Penelope Garcia, had pushed him to step out into the dating world. He was immensely grateful for their encouragement--grateful that Garcia had practically coerced him into using the dating app that brought you together.
Once (and due to his line of work, pretty much always will be) a skeptic of dating apps, he now sung its praise, in a…cautious way. It was praised enough that in a very Rossi-fashion, David Rossi bought stock in the app, Hotch and your love story solidifying the need to.
Now, seated at his desk in the quiet hum of the FBI offices, Hotch decided to express his love and appreciation in a tangible way. He opened a florist’s website, browsing through the selections to find something that captured the essence of what you meant to him.
Settling on a bouquet of wildflowers--bright, beautiful, and unpretentiously elegant--he filled out the delivery form to send them to your workplace. The note attached was simple but heartfelt: "For no reason other than I love you. Aaron."
With a contented sigh, Hotch then organized a second floral arrangement, this one for Garcia. He chose vibrant sunflowers and daisies, flowers as bright and cheerful as Garcia herself. The note for her was equally thoughtful: "Penelope, thank you for pushing me onto that (still questionable) app. I am forever grateful. - Hotch."
As he confirmed the orders, his colleague Morgan passed by his desk, noticing the slight smile on Hotch’s usually stoic face. "What's got you looking so happy, Hotch? That doesn't look like case work."
Hotch looked up, the smile still playing on his lips. "Can’t I just take a moment to appreciate the good things, Morgan?"
Morgan raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Good things, huh? Does this have anything to do with that special lady I’ve been hearing about?"
"You could say that," Hotch replied, his tone light, an uncommon but genuine warmth evident in his expression. "And I’m also sending Garcia some flowers."
Morgan chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "Man, Garcia’s matchmaking really worked out for you, didn’t it? Never thought I'd see the day. She’s never going to let this one down."
"It did," Hotch acknowledged, his thoughts drifting back to you. "And it’s made all the difference."
After Morgan left, Hotch leaned back in his chair, allowing himself a few moments of quiet reflection. He felt a profound sense of gratitude--not just for the love and joy you brought into his life, but for the unexpected journey that led him to you.
It was a reminder of the unpredictable beauty of life, how sometimes, taking a chance could lead to something extraordinary.
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what makes you feel excited, and why? (a) Making art because I get to create something. Because moving paint around is fun. Because colors bring me joy. (b) Watching stunt or dancing videos because other people doing recreational physical activities likewise makes me want to get into my body, jump around, and play.
reflect on a time you faced a challenge. what did you learn from it? Preparation went a long way to help me face the challenge.
write about some media (book, movie, song) that has had a big impact on you. why did it make you feel this way?
think of a person or experience that has positively influenced you. how did they/it inspire you? My boyfriend because he has shown me unconditional love and care.
list three goals you want to achieve before this year ends. how can you take small steps towards them? (a) Less bloat / more defined waist / flatter stomach, achievable by stomach vaccuums each morning. (b) Exercise 3-5x weekly (already doing this) (c) Restraighten my teeth using my retainers (one retainer at a time, starting with just 10 minutes then working up to 30 minutes, and so on, each day) (d) Learn to play 1 piano piece (try practicing just 5 minutes each morning) (e) 10 minutes of Spanish TV daily
describe a time when you discovered something new that sparked your curiosity and inspiration. Well, this isn’t exactly a positive thing, but recently, I have had some interest in learning more about the rise of the USSR. I think I want to finish The Gulage Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. This is how my curiosity was piqued initially. Another thing is this “History in Maps” book I have, I think published by DK, and on each page (or couple of pages) there is a map demonstrating locations and movements across land during important historical events. For example, it covers the major world wars. I’m really excited to read this book. I bought it last year and have only leafed through a little. It’s a large and heavy hardcover book. It was around $30-$50 from Amazon.
write about a challenge you currently face. what can you do to overcome it? Challenge: I get sucked into the political side of social media and end up just very frustrated with how stupid and ignorant and mean people are. I end up wasting a lot of time on this. Overcome: By exploring more creative pursuits and other personal interests both online and offline (such as I am doing right now) to encourage self-discovery and deepen my understanding of other (non-political) areas.
what are some things in nature that inspire you? how do they make you feel, and why? Animals for sure. I love that they inhabit our world so directly. Sometimes I joke that all wild creatures are “homeless.” What’s so fascinating about them is that the outdoors is their home. They know it and understand it better than any human. I also love seeing the little parallels between their behavior and ours – The way the ducks care for their young little chicks (ducklets? hehe). I also think animal behavior is silly sometimes and they make me laugh, like how the iguanas will just toss their bodies into the canal to flee, or peacocks will cross the streets sooooo slowlyyy as if there aren’t 5 cars waiting for them to move. So oblivious and un-self-aware. It’s cute when animals do it – not so much when humans do it, I guess!
reflect on a time when you felt super proud of yourself. what did you achieve, and how did it make you feel? I think graduating from college and getting my degree was my number one proudest moment. I couldn’t stop smiling. I don’t honestly remember being very proud of myself before or after that. I can’t wait to have that feeling once again.
write a letter to your future self. what are some hopes and dreams you have? how can you work towards them? Future self, this letter is shorter than maybe it should be because I’m feeling impatient at the moment and I need to get to work. However, I want you to know I wish you the best. I hope you found a way to worry less and look forward to the future more. I hope you found a way to be brave and enjoy traveling alone (in situations where you have to travel alone because no one else is available). I hope you figured out how to connect with other people better, and if you didn’t yet, don’t be too hard on yourself. It would be enough if you just gained more self-knowledge. I hope you are more patient than me, and if you aren’t yet, that’s okay too. I hope you have learned to notice and praise yourself when you do good things. I hope you are beginning to feel that maybe, just maybe, you are allowed to think you actually met your own standards. Maybe you can feel proud of yourself more often. Maybe you can see more good in the world; maybe there are more people in your life who bring value to it. I don’t know how far in the future you are, but if it has been more than 3 or 4 years, I hope you now know the joy of motherhood. I hope you have help and I hope you are able to take breaks and take care of yourself. You deserve that. Maybe you have a good babysitter! I hope so. I know this has been pretty rambling so far, and I apologize. No matter what has or hasn’t happened yet, I wish you the best and I just want you to know that life isn’t over until it is literally over. Until then, anything is possible. Never say never. You may not feel like it in this moment, but you got this, and you will see more and do more and achieve more before the fat lady sings. - Past You
journal prompts: for when you're feeling unmotivated
what makes you feel excited, and why?
reflect on a time you faced a challenge. what did you learn from it?
write about some media (book, movie, song) that has had a big impact on you. why did it make you feel this way?
think of a person or experience that has positively influenced you. how did they/it inspire you?
list three goals you want to achieve before this year ends. how can you take small steps towards them?
describe a time when you discovered something new that sparked your curiosity and inspiration.
write about a challenge you currently face. what can you do to overcome it?
what are some things in nature that inspire you? how do they make you feel, and why?
reflect on a time when you felt super proud of yourself. what did you achieve, and how did it make you feel?
write a letter to your future self. what are some hopes and dreams you have? how can you work towards them?
(images are from pinterest)
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Squid Game
SMILE FOR ME: Hwang In-ho/Frontman/Oh Young-il x fem!reader
Summary: Manipulation - that was his greatest weapon...
Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistakes I may have made while I wrote this short story.
Warnings: swearing, referenced PTSD and/or trauma, emotional manipulation, referenced death, referenced betrayal, heavily implied obsession, (Gi-hun and reader are besties, since the writer aka me loves him too much to not baby him)
●●●
She doesn't smile anymore...
That was In-ho's first thought when he met her in person for the first time.
And oddly enough - since he played a pretty big part in the cause of that - he really missed that: her smile.
There used to be something about it - something special.
In-ho had watched and sat through his fair share of games; and during those every player's positivity, hope and smile disappeared after the very first game. They acknowledged the consequences of failure - and accepted the fact that there's nothing they could possibly do about it. Even if they found some allies or friends, they never smiled again. Not really. Only with those false, fake ones.
But not her.
They were different - her and Gi-hun, especially.
Even after red light, green light; after the dalgona; after the tug of war -- they still smiled, especially with each other. They sat down to eat with their group and they shared stories, the old and fun ones, and those could make their teammates chuckle.
In reality, In-ho thought, it must've been to keep themselves and the others calm. To give them a false sense of security and hope.
In-ho couldn't exactly say when was the exact time she stopped smiling. The marble game; player 067's death or player 218's betrayal... It didn't really matter - the when. What mattered was the fact that she changed - and In-ho didn't like, even though he should've.
There was still a small shine in her eyes whenever she talked to Gi-hun and Gi-hun alone, but it wasn't the same...
It wasn't the same at all.
●●●
"Gi-hun..." her voice made In-ho turn slightly, as quietly as possible, so he could watch their interaction play out. "I'll take over. You need to get some sleep."
In-ho watched as she sat down next to Gi-hun, her thigh pushing his, so he would get a move on. During moments like these, she almost looked like the old her -- cheery and playful; still, it was only almost.
"You don't have to. I'll keep watch, I'm not tired anyway. You can go back to sleep."
She pushed his thigh again; and even though her lips didn't curl upwards into a smile, her eyes seemed happy.
"You are still a terrible liar, Seong Gi-hun..." her hands pushed his chest, so he would move. "Now go before I make you."
Gi-hun reacted the same way she did - he didn't smile, but the muscles around his eyes softened. He seemed calm, almost safe as he looked at her.
"Promise me you'll wake me if anything happens."
Her lips twitched.
"I promise." she punched his shoulder playfully. "Now go."
Gi-hun got up painfully slowly, as if to give her time to change her mind, and then did what she said. He lied down, pulled the covers over himself and after a few moments, he closed his eyes.
In-ho watched her for a while. He witnessed how all the tension and stress disappeared from her shoulders when she thought no one was watching. He saw how she let the sadness she was truly feeling appear on her face.
She seemed oddly calm.
In-ho let the minutes go by, he waited patiently until he was sure no one else was awake; and then he walked up to her, letting her shake in fear from the sudden presence behind her.
"Young-il." she whispered as she let out a long breath. "You scared me."
"My apologies." he said, almost frowning at how she immediatelly went back into her protective shell - she didn't feel comfortable around him, unlike the others, and In-ho didn't like that at all. "Would you mind some company? I can't sleep, we might as well keep watch together."
She looked up at him, clearly contemplating what she should say.
"Be my guest." she said in the end.
He sat down next to her, and watched as she pulled her feet further away from him. Silence began to set in - but In-ho wouldn't let it win. This was the first time he found a chance to talk to her alone, and he wouldn't waste it.
"You and Gi-hun seem to be close."
She turned to look at him in the darkness as if she could figure out his real intentions.
"We are." she said. "I've known him for years. I don't understand how it affects you though."
In-ho almost smiled at the accusatory tone.
"I'm just making conversation." he said, trying to sound kind. "And I noticed that you only talk to him and no one else."
She seemed irritated - ready to curse him out, to tell him to shut up or wake Gi-hun up, so he could come to her rescue.
In the end she just scoffed.
"I don't have much to talk about these days."
"Or smile about." In-ho added and this time he let himself smile at the look on her face. He might as well test her - her and her trust, the holes on her shell. "You seemed ready to sacrifice yourself - during the first game. The same goes for Gi-hun." he tilted his head slightly. "I think I just don't understand what you're doing here. You won the previous game. You have all that money to spend... Yet you two are here; and you seem unhappy."
She swallowed and then took a deep breath. She didn't know what she should say and how she should say it. She was completely at his curiousity's mercy, which didn't seem to have a filter - and she couldn't find the right words for an answer.
In-ho's lips curled upwards and he chuckled before she could come up with an answer. His laugh confused her even more.
"I'm sorry." he continued. "You just don't seem to trust me very much."
She pointed at his jacket's number without hesitation, then at the 'O' sign - the sign what previously had been 'X'. She looked him in the eyes before answering.
"The last 001 I trusted turned out to be a liar and an asshole." she pulled her legs up and hugged her knees to her chest. "So I apologize for not trusting you. Besides, your name is Young-il and you are player 001?" she scoffed. "Either the guards have a great sense of humor and they gave you that number, or you're a bad guy with zero creativity."
In-ho wanted to laugh. Really laugh. Even though her trust-issues made her unable to have fun, they made her more fun.
What would be the right reaction? Half a chuckle maybe, plus a small smile.
Then, In-ho waited. He waited for her facade to break - and it did. Because even though she changed, she still had characteristics every human had -- well, most had --: regret.
He waited for her too feel remorse. He waited until she was drowning in it for being too harsh. He waited and didn't say anything.
"That big pile of bloody cash is in a motel room." she said suddenly as she continued to hug her knees.
"What?"
"You wanted to know about the money. Well, it's in a dimly lit motel room." she explained.
In-ho chuckled. "Really?"
"Yeah." she nodded, but this time there was something about her expression: as if she just admitted to herself that the picture of a fortune in a motel room is oddly funny. "As for the sacrifice part - there's nothing wrong with helping others."
"I'm not saying there is." In-ho explained. "It's just that most people in here are selfish. They would choose to save themselves instead of others." he stayed quiet for a while, letting his words sink in. "But you and Gi-hun still choose to save them. All of them."
She tilted her head.
"I asked myself if I'd like to be a rich murderer or a dead person who chose to save others." she said, her tone turning sad. "I chose the latter." In-ho's lips twitched from trying not to smile, when he noticed that she stretched her legs, no longer being careful around him. "I guess I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was to ever cause someone's death. Besides, everyone here has someone to go back home to; I don't. Gi-hun's here and my only other friend isn't even really my friend." she shrugged. "So then why not help?"
Her knee almost touched his.
Trust. That was what he wanted.
"People who think they don't matter are the ones who matter the most." In-ho looked at her. "Are you sure that playing hero is the best decision you can make?"
She shook her head. "What do you mean?"
In-ho let out a fake chuckle.
"You have people who love you, who think you are important. I'm sure of it." he leaned forward. "And heroes, even if they succeed in the end, don't usually have an easy journey. There are losses - and consequences."
"You think I don't know that?" she started to get angry again. "What do you know about loss?"
"Everything. Sadly." he sounded more honest than he intended to be - and she noticed it too.
Regret. What a beautiful human emotion.
"Oh, God. I'm sorry." she said as she looked at him with remorse in her eyes - her body language showed no fear or protection. She gave up, she showed him the real her. "I didn't know."
"No need. You couldn't have known." he gave her a weak smile - he showed weakness so she would do it too. "Although when I sat down I thought we would speak about something more... fun."
The muscles in her cheeks twitched and In-ho knew she was so close to smiling, yet she held it back.
She looked around the room, looked at the beds and the people who were sleeping in them. In-ho followed her gaze.
"Well then..." she began, not yet knowing what she'd say in the end. "You are a good fighter. I mean you beat up two guys without even lifting a finger." the compliment sounded nice coming from her. "Police or military?"
In-ho wanted to grin.
"Good deduction. Both, actually. And thank you."
"I have a friend who's a cop. Well, I don't really know if he is my friend, but he seems nice regardless." she intertwined her fingers. "Next time I see him, if I see him at all; I'll have to ask him if he knows some... ancient martial arts too."
He just chuckled.
"Who knows... He might surprise you."
They stared into the darkness for a second, since one of the other players started to move around. In the end it turned out to be just a woman, who was having a nightmare - she soon sat up in bed while breathing heavily.
"If we're talking about skills..." In-ho began, so he could get her attention once again. "You are surprisingly good at ddakji."
Her lips twitched and he knew he wasn't too far from getting that smile.
"Yeah, I am." she admitted. "I'm much better than Gi-hun at the very least. You should've seen him playing against that recruiter guy. He was horrible! Absolutely horrible!"
"And you?"
"I beat him almost always. He must've been... quite annoyed."
Suddenly her lips curled upwards into an honest, teasing smile. The muscles under her eyes twitched, as if they have forgotten how to act during a smile.
In-ho found himself smiling too. It was like going back in time and seeing her old self.
Sure, this smile wasn't that pure and innocent, but it was a start. A pretty good start.
"You know, Young-il, I wish I could say the same, but you were God-awful at paengi chigi..." she giggled and pushed her fist against her teeth to not be too loud.
"Yeah, I was. It's not one of my proudest moments."
She continued to laugh and by the look on her face she herself couldn't tell what was so funny. But once she started to giggle there was no going back - years or surpressed emotions came running out as small wrinkles of joy appeared on her face.
In-ho joined her and as the final test, he put his hand on her knee, then he leaned in.
"Quiet, you'll wake up the others..." he said through a small laugh.
She let his hand rest on her leg as she tried to quiet down.
"I'm sorry. I don't even know what's so funny - but damn I needed this."
Got you, he thought as she leaned back, resting her bodyweight on her hands, while letting his touch linger.
Despite everything, all that change, she was still the same person with the same weak points on her shell. In-ho knew them all - he had watched her play her very first game.
"I missed your smile..." the sentence rolled off his tounge before he could've stopped himself.
She giggled, not noticing the major give-away on his perfect mask.
"Careful..." she warned him and for a moment In-ho thought she put the small inconsistencies together -- but then she continued: "I might think you're flirting with me."
"I wouldn't even dream of it." he said; realizing she let her vigilance leave her completely with a grin.
"Good." she sighed. "Now tell me, is there anything else you absolutely suck at?"
In the end In-ho got what he wanted - he always does. Trust, honesty - smiles... It didn't matter.
He had her on the hook too, her and everyone else, and there was no amount of doubt what would be able to ruin his perfectly painted picture about himself and the situation.
Doubt. He could use it against them.
That's what he does best after all.
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