#I hope he has some purple fucking shampoo and conditioner so he can actually tone his hair and make it look softer and less brassy

[sk1aggu]

Now just tone that shit fucker 😤💖

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 20 all chapters

gif credit to dilfgifs

WARNING: NSFW, SEXUAL CONTENT, YANDERE SH!T. Plz take care. I luv u all. 😘

-You try to go as long as you can, but later that night you decide you just can’t stand it anymore. You’re pretty sure it’s been days, and you feel gross.

“Can I…use your shower?”

He turns to you with a small smile. “You mean, our shower? Yes.”

Hoping that’s the end of it, and this exchange won’t get weird, you slip out from under his arm to go into the bathroom. You check your prospects, finding expensive shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, shaving gel…but no razor. You guess you get it, kind of, but really. Then again, maybe you'd better not ask. Why send mixed signals by shaving off your body hair? It’s just an aesthetic mostly catering to the male gaze anyway…

But it bugs you.

You pop your head back out of the door. “Razor?”

He doesn’t even look up from his book.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

This annoys you for some reason. “Just so you know, I am not going to try to kill myself.” Brave words for someone in your situation, but at least at the moment, you mean them.

“I was more worried you might try to kill me.”

You open your mouth again, until he fixes you with that laser-like stare. “Just take your shower, y/n, or do I have to come in there to help you?”

The thought of his large hands on your body slick with soap sends an inconvenient spear of desire straight to your center.

“No.”

You disappear fast as a groundhog into its burrow, closing the door behind you.

“Door open!” he yells in that particular tone, and sensing the shift in his mood, you comply rather than pull his tail some more.

Well done, you, you chide yourself as you strip out of your dirty dress and your ACE bandage in the cavernous shower. He was actually in a good mood, somehow, after you tried to knock his head off with a book. And now you…what? You did something to piss him off, at least a little bit.

Learning his moods was going to take some doing.

It was the only way you were getting out of here alive.

You keep looking over your shoulder, half expecting to see him looming behind you. That man moves silent as a ghost when he feels like it.

It’s creepy. And…kind of hot, if you’re being honest, but that is not a helpful thought.

You feel a thousand times better with all the grime washed from your hair and your body. You wrap yourself in a big fluffy towel that feels like a cloud on your skin, and put off going into the bedroom by drying your hair.

There are products on the sink that you use, face lotions and hair creams, and more expensive versions of the same type that you could never afford. How did he know?

Then again, he has fucking gorgeous hair, he probably knows more about styling product than you do.   

You turn to look at his handiwork upon your bum. The bruise is a red and purple swirl nearly the size of your fist. You can actually see the neat lines of his teeth marks. “Jesus Christ.”

His eye was going to heal way before that was.

When you can’t really dawdle in the bathroom anymore, you war with the next conundrum.

Fresh clothes.

Fuck it. You march out, heading for the closet without making eye contact with the reclining leopard on the bed. You can feel his eyes on you, and fuck if it doesn’t turn you on to be watched like that. Like you are some kind of prize to be desired.

It feels utterly insane to you, to say the least. You’re not that beautiful, but he looks at you like you’re Helen of Troy.  

With your hand on the closet door John clears his throat pointedly.

You know you can’t ignore him. Risking his wrath while you’re wrapped in nothing but a bath towel is so not a good idea.

You turn to find he’s laid something out at the foot of the bed for you already.

“Wear this,” he says. It’s an order clothed in velvet. Polite, but…you sense the unyielding directive underneath.

You pad on bare feet to the foot of the bed. It’s a silky lavender nightie with lace at the bodice. Nothing too wacky. No embarrassing peep holes or extraneous straps. You are somewhat relieved.

Until you see the underwear he’s paired with them.

Your underwear, as a matter of fact.   

Those went missing a long time ago.

Speechless, you look to him, knowing you look like a fish out of water but unsure what to say.

This has been going on for way longer than you even knew, and you didn’t have a clue.

“You took these from my apartment.” You manage not to yell it.

“I didn’t want you to wear them for anyone but me.” He has the cheek to sound grouchy about it, like you did something wrong.

You feel your temper rising like the mercury in a thermometer. You know you’re going to say something stupid, but you just don’t know how to keep it in.

“How. Fucking. Dare you?”

He just sighs, like he already knows how this is going to go. “Don’t play this game with me, baby.”

You bite down on the impulse to demand he not call you baby.

“You could have just…asked me out. I would have said yes, you know?”

He actually looks away as you tell him this.

“Maybe you would have. Until you realized I’m just a bitter old man, and you would have left me.”

You blink at that. How can he be so smart, and yet so blind?

“I knew you were a bitter old man all along! But you know what? I liked you anyway. I thought you were interesting, and funny, and so fucking handsome, and I wanted to fuck you. But now…” You clench your fists, shaking with all the vitriol you know you can’t unleash on this unpredictable man.

This unpredictable killer.

He takes your fury, seemingly nonplussed. You’re not sure any of it registers at all, and it takes some of the wind out of your sails. “This isn’t love, John,” you say quietly, your throat tightening with every syllable. “Love is…having the courage to bare your heart to the sword, and take what comes. You can’t control it like this.”

He tilts his head at this, a wave of that lovely dark hair covering his face. You get the feeling like he’s hiding from you, when he does that.

Finally he asks, “Have you ever been stabbed, y/n?”

Your heart skips a beat, as you wonder if he’s threatening you. “No.”

“Well let me tell you. It fucking hurts.”

Then he reaches down the bed to pluck up the panties, sticking them in his pocket. “I guess I’ll just keep these. You’re not going to need them anyway.”

You glare daggers at him.

He offers you the slightest, smuggest, smile.

“You sonofabitch.”

“Watch that mouth, kitten. Unless you want me to fill it up with something else.”

You bare your teeth with the thought. “I fucking dare you,” you spit, snatching up the nightie to take it to the bathroom to change.

“Nuh uh,” he interjects. “Change here.”

You freeze in your tracks, understanding exactly what he’s demanding of you.

This is how it’s going to be, you tell yourself. He’s going to be sweet, and then he’s going to be insufferable, and if you’re not careful, he’ll get downright mean. Don’t be fooled by the sweet moods, because all the rest is just beneath the surface waiting.

It was so hard to remind yourself of that, when he was being good to you.

You don’t turn around. You moonlighted as a drawing model after college. You can handle this, right? He’s already seen parts of you anyway…

It’s soooooooooo much different than being in that classroom, when you undo your towel and let it fall to the floor. You can feel the weight of his gaze on your bare form. In the end, knowing it’s just your backside, that he’s already gotten way more than an eyeful of…doesn’t really help. With shaking hands you quickly you pull the nightie over your head.

You hope he feels guilty about the size of that fucking bruise, but you have a feeling he probably likes seeing his marks on you.

“Come here.” He practically purrs, and your flesh aches for the sound. Fuck.

You turn to face him, but do not move. Once again, that glorious boner is making an appearance. It’s almost flattering, how often this man has a hard-on when he’s around you. If this had been a normal relationship, you would have made it your mission to oblige him at every opportunity, just to see what the old man could take.

As it is…all you want to do is fight him, and you know you are destined to lose.

He pats his thigh, as though he expects you to sit on his lap. Without underwear. Or a bra. Or a sense of self-preservation.

You shake your head no with the glitter of moisture in the corners of your eyes. You’ve never felt so helpless in your life, and you hate it.

 He frowns at your defiance. My god, no one can do a forbidding frown, like Mr. John Wick. It lodges your heart in your throat, even while you find him magnificent.

“Are you going to make me make you?”

And there it is.

You sigh, and you feel like a piece of your soul exits your body. Good. Good, be empty. He can’t hurt an empty husk.

“I guess so.”

You close your eyes, and you wait. You wait for his rough hands, for the violence that is surely coming to you. You shake like a leaf, unable to stop. You don't know why you'd allowed yourself to hold out some hope, that maybe he really wasn't going to hurt you.

Yet, it does not come.

You open your eyes to find him still frowning at you. He hasn’t moved a muscle.

The longest three seconds of your life tick by. You count them in your thundering heartbeats, and then he scoots over on the bed. “Fine. Come lay by me then.”

You are shocked to your toes. You forget how to move. 

“Now.” He snaps his fingers, pointing to the bed beside him, and you scurry over before he loses his patience with this kinder offer. Cautiously you crawl up beside him, and when he holds up his arm you understand the cue, snuggling into his side with your head on his shoulder. 

Alright, this, you can do. 

This feels almost…normal. The way your head fits into the divot of his shoulder is just…divine, if you’re being honest, and your body shudders as you suppress a sob, hiding your face against his chest. It’s not fair, that you still want him so much, and you mourn for the promise of sweetness that was snatched from your table before you ever really got a chance to taste it.

“Shh,” he soothes, touching your hair, his big hand dwarfing the crown of your head. “I’ll try to remember to be patient with you.”

You nod against him, wanting to believe him, knowing that makes you a sad little fool.

“But my patience has its limits. Remember that, kitten.”

Oh. You weren’t going to forget.

He continues to hold you, and eventually your heart slows, the tension in your body finally relaxing.

It’s incredible, really, how you just can’t leave well enough alone.

Now that you’ve both calmed, you feel bold enough to ask, “John?”

“Yeah, baby?” His lips on the top of your head make your eyelids flutter, it’s so sweet.

“Do you…at least know that it was wrong, to break into my apartment?” You feel like the answer to this one question will help you gauge everything about his state of mind.

He is silent for a long time. Long enough to let your imagination run rampant with the things he might do to punish you for this impertinence, after he was so generous as to just let you lay down with him and snuggle.

Yet there’s no anger in his voice when he answers, “Yeah. But I’ve been breaking the law my whole life, sweetheart, and no one’s stopped me yet.”

It’s the truth, and a nice neat little warning, all wrapped up in one.

You should be scared again, but you just sigh against his chest. Maybe you’ve used up whatever hormone is responsible for adequate fear responses for the day. Or maybe…his games are working on you already, claiming your sanity inch by inch.

You lay there in his arms, and eventually you start to doze. He strokes your hair, a sweet and lulling touch that makes you curl your toes. When those featherlight fingertips find their way to the back of your neck, and the tops of your shoulders, you cannot help but squirm. In your half-asleep state, this is your kryptonite, and your leg tangles with his, your pelvis pressing against his hip. It feels like the most natural thing in the world, to crane your head towards him.

Only when you feel him shift to lean towards you for a kiss, do you realize what you are doing.

You turn your head at the last second, and his grip on you tightens from comforting to bruising in a nanosecond. “Wait—”

He has you on your back before you can blink.

 “Are we still pretending you don’t want me, kitten?”

“I…”

Suddenly his hand is between your legs, manhandling you like he owns you, raking up your thigh to swipe at your folds. He finds you soaking wet with slick, of course, and he makes a point to press your clit with his thick fingers as he withdraws. It sends an agonizing jolt of desire spreading through the cradle of your hips, the ache in your stupid little cunt nigh unbearable. You hardly recognize the keening sound that escapes your mouth.

Was that you?

It worsens ten-fold as you watch him bring his fingers to his lips, sucking them clean. “Tastes like lies to me.”

Goddammit.

“John…”

You can hardly believe it, when he slides off of the bed, leaving you cold and alone, confused and filled with desire. The pulsing ache between your legs drowns out any rational thoughts you might have had a moment ago.

“Little liars don’t get to cum. I’ll let you think about that tonight.”

You feel like you did that night in Italy, watching him walk out the door when all you really want is to feel his thick, insatiable cock teeming inside you.

Which is fucking insane, of course.

And you were thinking he might be the crazy one?

 “Same rules, sweetheart. Don’t you dare touch yourself tonight. I’ll fucking know.”

With one last baleful look over of his shoulder he touches his hand to the lock, and sweeps out of the room. He leaves you stunned on the bed, disheveled and unsure, once again, of what the fuck just happened?

[lalka-laski]

If money was no object, would you change your wardrobe? No doubt about it. I actually have a keen eye for style & can coordinate outfits really well. I used to do it for houuuurs on Polyvore (is that still a site?). But alas, I don’t have the money to dress to my heart’s desire. 

How do you/did you get to school? From elementary school through high school, I rode the bus, Then in college, I walked.

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? I’m sure at some point. I grew up with two sisters so that’s bound to happen. 

Is the idea of having a secret admirer creepy or romantic? I’m more inclined to say it’s creepy however, Glenn actually was admiring me for years before I even knew who he was. But he never acted on that attraction so does that count as a secret admirer? 

What was the last song you sung out loud? One’s not coming to mind

Have you ever had to have a pet put down? UGH WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THIS

Were you excited to learn to drive, or scared? I still haven’t learned because I’m too scared.

What was the last book you read? I’m in the middle of Daisy Jones & The Six right now and I’m completely hooked! Tons of people have recommended it to me & I’m beating myself up that it took me this long. 

Did you enjoy it, or were you glad to be finished? Oh I’m loving every minute of it. I even brought it with me to work today hoping I could sneak a few pages, maybe a few chapters in.

Do you ever wonder what other people are thinking when they stare at you? Those are the thoughts that constantly torture me. 

Have you ever gone out of your way to get someone’s attention? I was a teenage girl at one point. Let’s be real.

When was the last time you felt incredibly tired? Yesterday was BRUTAL. I only got 3-4 hours sleep tops and I am absolutely not the type of person who can function without rest. Last night I got a little more sleep but I’m hyped on caffeine so I hardly notice. 

What candy cane flavor is your favorite? I’ve never put much thought into it. The fruity ones like Starburst & Jolly Rancher are really good, I gotta admit.

In your opinion, who doesn’t deserve to be famous? A huge majority of Hollywood. Too many to list.

Do you get angry when fast food restaurants mess up your order? I get a little bummed but ONLY because it seems like *I* am the only person whose order gets messed up or forgotten. Even my sister has noticed that it seems to always happen to me. And I don’t have complicated orders by any means! So it bums me out but it doesn’t actually make me angry. And I would NEVER stage a complaint. I’d go hungry before I go Karen. 

Have you ever had a ridiculous hair cut? Yeah. After my last breakup I cut my hair collarbone length hoping I’d give off some Jennifer Lawrence vibes. I was not Jennifer Lawrence. I was fucking Lord Farquaad. 

What was your favorite elective class in high school? High school was too long ago for me to remember but my guess is it was some type of creative writing. 

Did you ever wish you could be homeschooled? Uh, no.  Was it hard for you to get up this morning? I moaned & groaned like usual but it surprisingly wasn’t as hard as most mornings. 

Have you ever had a dream so realistic you could’ve sworn it happened? Those terrify me. It’s extra unnerving because I have a hard time distinguishing between real and imagined memories as it is. 

When was the last time you colored with crayons or colored pencils? I did a lot of coloring at the beginning of quarantine. None since though. 

Can you remember the first survey you filled out? Oh God, no clue. It was back in the Myspace days, I know that much... 

Do you have any mental disorders? WHERE. DO. I. BEGIN. 

Do you feel comfortable talking about these disorders, if you have them? Well anyone who’s spent 15 seconds with me knows I have anxiety, so I can’t even hide that if I tried. And I’m pretty open about my other diagnoses if/when they come up in conversation.

Where did you go on your last field trip? I guess Senior Trip my senior year of high school? I don’t recall taking any field trips in college. 

Are you able to agree to disagree? Or do you have to have the last word? I don’t like confrontation so I try to shut things down as quickly as possible. I’m ok with someone having the last word. But that likely stems from my lack of confidence. I tend to second-guess myself in arguments, even if I’m well-versed on the topic at hand. 

Do you think you make a good first impression? I make great first, even second, impressions. I think it’s when people start to truly know me that things unravel. 

Do other people’s first impressions stick with you? OH YES. I should be more understanding and forgiving but if someone rubs me the wrong way right off the bat, I can’t shake it. Bad energy is bad energy! 

Are your friends who you thought they were when you first met? Not all of them. Some for the better, some for worse. 

How have you changed in the past year? If we examine where I was this day last year, I’ve made considerable progress with my mental and physical health. But that progress took a nosedive during quarantine. Ok, maybe not a nosedive. I’m still an improved version of myself from last year and I should celebrate that. 

How about in the past five years? 2020 Elizabeth is living 2015 Elizabeth’s wildest dreams!!!! I am leagues ahead of where I was then. 

What do you do when you feel like giving up on something? I hate to say it but I usually just give up. I’m not much of a fighter. 

Have you ever had to give up on someone? Many a time. 

Would you rather break up with someone, or them break up with you? Um well, my self-esteem is easily shattered enough as it is so I do NOT handle breakups well. But breaking someone’s heart is an equally awful feeling so

Is there a cover song you like better than the original version? Blackbird by David Gray. 

Do you think it’s okay to like a cover more than an original? Of course it is. It’s a commonly accepted opinion that Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt” is better than the original. There are plenty other examples I’m sure but that came to mind first.

Do you still watch any cartoons? You mean from childhood? I honestly don’t but I should. That could be really soothing. 

Are you just too lazy to recycle? Guilty as charged

Think of the last person you talked to–do you love him/her? In person? No. Via text? Yes. 

Do you fit your zodiac sign? I’m a Cancer to a fault. 

What is one of your weak points? Hyper-sensitivity (see above^) 

What is one of your strong points? Empathy 

Are you calm in emergency situations? FAR FAR FROM IT. 

When was the last time you cursed at someone? As far as cursing directly AT somebody out of anger or something, I don’t remember. 

Are you afraid of losing someone you love? That’s my biggest fear

Who are you most attached to? Glenn

What do you depend on other people for? Providing a rational response to my irrational emotions, calming me down, soothing my anxiety. 

Are you good at reading other people’s body language? I don’t know actually? 

Do you like facial hair? How about chest hair? I love both. Glenn doesn’t believe that I’m attracted to his chest hair (actually, all his body hair) but I find it incredibly sexy. 

If you have a favorite number, how did you choose it? I don’t really have one. I guess either 7 or 13 because those are my birthdate numbers? 

What goes through your mind when someone breaks up with you? Well I have an inferiority complex so breakups just confirm all the pre-existing thoughts I have about myself. 

What goes through your mind when someone asks you out? This is gonna sound funny considering my previous response but my usual reaction to getting asked out is fear. Ever since the first time a boy asked me out, I found it more scary and nerve-wracking than flattering. 

Do you match your shoes with your outfit? Sort of? 

Do you style your hair daily? Hell nope

Who was the last person to compliment your appearance? What’d they say? Glenn called me pretty last night but I’m not sure that really counts because he’s my boyfriend and isn’t that his job? Is there any movie you just can’t stand to watch? Most movies. They’re just not my thing.

What do you think of pornography? Most porn I watch isn’t actual intercourse. But I love bondage so I like roleplay vids and stuff like that. 

What hair products do you use regularly? Daily I just use shampoo and conditioner, and then purple toning shampoo once-twice a week and hairspray on days I curl my hair. Lately I’ve been trying out a texturizing/volumizing spray but most of the time I forget ‘till it’s too late. 

Does it bother you when people use extremely bad grammar? Nah. Language skills vary wildly and are often informed by a person’s culture, family, or socioeconomic background. It’s classist & racist to judge a person’s intelligence or abilities on his/her grammar.  Do you have a hard time talking about sex with the opposite gender? Not at all. I might even be TOO comfortable with it. 

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? Female, for sure. My pediatrician was a male & he was wonderful but I prefer only females for any type of medical situation now. Oh, except for my dentist. But that’s only because I think he’s hot :P

Have you ever had major surgery? Not really. I had my tonsils out when I was a kid but that’s pretty run-of-the-mill I think? 

Could you go a month without speaking? Uh maybe?

Is there any food you don’t like that a lot of others do? Well I don’t eat any type of meat or fish so, I guess that. 

Have you ever followed a trend? If so, what was it? Lots of them as a tween/teen. It’s par for the course at that age. 

Have you ever started a trend, even a small one? Likely not. I hold no sway anywhere lol

What was the last thing you bragged about? I’m not much of a bragger. At least I don’t think?