#I hope folks give it a chance

[bearchuckles]

It’s N7 day! hurrah. 

To celebrate I posted a little fic I wrote (that I’d wanted to post last year and didn’t.) It’s got a bit of whimsy to it but I hope folks enjoy. 

Have a safe one this N7 Day. I know a lot of folks (myself definitely included) are still reeling after yesterday. I hope this helps to entertain and perhaps ease some hurts. Have a good one yall!

Chapters: 10/10 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types, Elder Scrolls Online Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Commander Shepard/oc Characters: Commander Shepard, Original Characters Additional Tags: Strangers to Lovers, Romantic Comedy, Isekai, double isekai?, Medical Conditions, mentions of past non-con, Medical Trauma, Trans Male Character, Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Limb loss, science fiction medicine Summary:

A chance meeting at a bar turns into a fiery romance between Private Mars Shepard and a mysterious stranger named Captain 'Lu' Lonán Dunn. It's clear he has secrets and Mars tries to tell herself that it doesn't matter-- she's not getting into a relationship when she has a career to focus on. As aspects of Lu's life began to be revealed Mar's find herself being drawn in. For the better? Who can say-- only time will tell.

(Story takes place pre-game timeline. Will hopefully have a sequel.)

[javierduffy]

I have been having... a very bad day. Any spare fluffy headcanons for the boys? (and maybe some nsfw ones if you're up to it-)

ohh no my dear helena !!! its unfortunate that you’re having a rough day today :( remember that everything is temporary and that this day, like every other hard day before (and all following after), will pass in its own time.

i can absolutely spare some fluff ! that’s all i’ve got !

• javier goes to bed at about the same time that kieran is waking up every morning, right before dawn, and it’s a common occurrence that he will forget to untie his hair before laying down for bed, especially after a long night of guard duty. kieran will notice every time, and knows himself how easily long hair can get matted, so he will beckon javier over so that he can untie his bow. usually, he’ll also take the time to run his fingers through javier’s hair to detangle it as well, so that he’s even less likely to wake up to knots. javier adores it, teetering with the weight of his head and leaning hard into kieran’s legs on each side of his shoulders- sometimes kieran will even indulge himself in giving javier a head massage. javier never sleeps better, and coincidentally, he began forgetting to take his hair down a lot more after moving out to clemen’s point ….

• javier snuck kieran his first bowl of pearson’s stew after ‘making a social call’. john kicked kieran off his horse at the entrance of camp and javier watched as the latter dredged himself through the brush to what would become his usual resting place behind the rock by the horses. he looked miserable, dead on his feet, and javier knew by then he’d been weeks without a meal. he was a dirty, disloyal, unholy traitor of an o’driscoll, but something about his sunken eyes, the shake in his hand as he lit his first cigarette as a free man again- likely to quell off the hunger- it urged javier to act in a way that he’d never felt before. javier could kill a man in cold blood easier than he could stand to watch fear starve a man even after his hands are free to reach for the bowl. the study for learned helplessness in psychology will come years later, but javier understands himself now through watching kieran’s instinctual desire to survive be beat out of him by the gang javier dedicates his life to. with a healthy amount of spite to himself, he scoops a heaping amount of fresh stew into the cleanest bowl he can find, and sets out to add a fresh layer of flesh to kieran’s prominent bones.

• following this, cooking for kieran is one of javier’s favourite things to do when they get together. javier will cook for him traditional mexican dishes from home (as best he can. both with his limited skills and also with his limited accessibility to the proper ingredients. (probably for the best that he can’t get authentic chili peppers from home and has to use a less spicy chili native to this northern climate. kieran does okay with spice but it isn’t in his genetics to truly have a high tolerance.)) and not only will it be an unknown love language from javier, to feed kieran and make sure he is full, but it will also be a love language from kieran, to let javi share a piece of home with him.

• ^ also applies to modern au javieran ! javier loves cooking, and especially for kieran. they would cook together, but kieran struggles to cook with other people in the room, and javier gets so absorbed in it that he’d likely be running into kieran or otherwise being unhelpful in aiding in making sure the dish is being cooked correctly because he’s too Locked In to guide kieran LOL but they’re more happy to simply keep each other company, anyway. kieran on the counter/table/floor, watching javier sing and dance to the music he’s blasting from their speaker. cue dancing in the kitchen when the love songs come on (here’s a good one (rip javier escuella you would have loved dannylux)). the parallel play and quality time with these two is off the charts

• come mid/late clemens point, the way javieran make most of their money for the camp is by going on days-long fishing dates, laughing and laying close to one another in the grass under a tree on the riverbank in the shroud of darkness. they come back to camp flushed as all get out but with stacks of cash in their hands wadded up so thick no one dares to ask where it came from. kieran will get excited at even the smallest of fish, perking up and sharing/asking javier for tidbits on the species. they never miss a bite, either. one time one of the bells on their bobber rods rang once and they both broke out of a very hot and heavy make-out sesh so fast that javier tripped on kieran and nearly broke both of their wrists. they laughed so hard about it, javier was certain that by the time he arrived to his rod, the fish had already successfully ripped the bait off of his hook. he reeled in a boot, at the end of it all. he never lives it down.

• kieran is ambidextrous, and javier is fascinated by it. javier stumbled upon kieran writing on one rare occasion, and noticed immediately that he was writing with his left. “left handed, huh ?” kieran cocks his head at him in thought. javier wonders why on earth he would have to stop and think about a question like that. “uhh, not really ?” well, now javier is simply confused. “right, then ? is something wrong with your dominant hand ?” “um … no, that’s not it either …” and at this point, javier is demanding kieran explain what the hell he’s talking about, and why he’s pulling a prank on him. cue kieran explaining and javier making him do all kinds of silly “tests” like writing, shooting, playing guitar (as if kieran is going to any better with either when neither of them can do it right to begin with) because he finds it so cool.

• modern au kieran gets overstimulated incredibly easily, so he’s got a pair of noise canceling over-ear headphones that he often wears to dampen sensory input and ground himself when there’s a lot going on. when it’s cleaning day, generally no matter what he’s doing, he HAS to wear his headphones. javier is left to dodge him the same way he has to dodge the cats when they’re weaving in and out of between his feet. it also leaves him to dance to his own tunes when kieran suddenly swoops or sways or dips him to the music only he can hear- though just as often, javier will catch kieran dancing by himself and he will simply be unable not to join him, even though he can’t hear what it is he’s dancing to. as overwhelming as they can be, cleaning days for javieran somehow always end up feeling more like a date than anything.

• on a similar note, kieran also wears his headphones to bed, and listens to asmr/white noise to sleep. the pressure helps him feel safe, and the silence of a room makes him anxious. he also has a terrible bedhead and rbf in the morning. both of these things javier finds incredibly charming, and if he ever does wake up when/before kieran does (incredibly rare), this is his pov (right before he tries to kiss kieran’s face off and gets shoved away with a sleepy giggle that only bolsters his aggression);

nsfw under the cut !

and how could i resist a chance to finally talk about this ;3€ ?? i’ll try to keep them fluffy !

(context, i hc both of them as tguys usually (though im content with writing javier as amab too), with both of them being absolute, unabashed switches. they have little preferences anywhere in terms of bottoming/topping, though kieran has a preference for subbing, and javier has no qualms with domming more frequently.)

• as much raunchy, animalistic sex that javieran have, they have double as much slow, loving, tender sex. and most times between, they’re having raunchy, loving, animalistic sex.

• javi loves to turn kieran’s brain off, he loves more than anything to make kieran feel so overwhelmingly pleasured that he forgets everything that ever has, ever could, or ever will happen to him. nothing gets javier off quite like seeing the face of bliss kieran makes when all he can think about is javier’s mouth/hands/cock working overtime just to make him feel good.

• both of them i think are quite vocal when they’re able to be, and kieran tends to be vocal whether he’s supposed to be or not. both of them often dissolve into whimpers and “i love you”s and praise like “you feel/sound/taste so good” by the end. their love for each other has a carnal grasp on every aspect of their sex lives as well <3 so they’re always speaking so sweetly to each other, even if the way they growl it seems violent

• javier LOVES love bites. he loves to mark kieran up and he especially loves to bite and lick and suck on his neck, not only because of the primal aspect of his jugular being so close (as well as the warmth of his pulse thrumming against his mouth), but also because it arouses kieran to the point of making him shiver nearly every time. javier has permission to bite him hard, but it’s pretty rare that he ever does, and it’s only late into their relationship does javier feel like it will be more pleasure for him than it would just be pain. sometimes he can’t help it though, he’ll get so worked up that he just latches on and the way that kieran tightens around him is mind-numbing.

• unironically i think kieran is a GREAT soft dom, and that is something that javier generally had never experienced prior to getting with kieran. javi thinks it’s hot to be man-handled and roughed up, and kieran can do his very best (despite the constant guilt and fear) if javier is really feeling it, but where he really excels is soft domming. once the nerves melt off, he’s so gentle with javier that it makes the latter’s skin hot all over. constantly praising him, cooing at him, asking him nicely, rewarding him for good behavior, all the while touching him oh-so-gently, it all makes javier feel so awkward but so, so good. kieran makes him feel so loved and worshipped that the world in which he has anything to question simply just fades away, and all he has to think about is doing what meager tasks kieran asks of him.

• they find so much peace in each other’s bodies. in every rib and wrinkle and sunspot, these two will spend hours simply exploring and enjoying the body of the other in whatever the closest form of “privacy” they can manage to acquire. turns out, kieran has sunspots all over him. turns out, javier has a keloid scar on the back of his bicep. turns out, kieran has a mole on his scalp right where his part is (this is canon btw i saw it once when i was studying him in photo mode like a specimen in a petri dish), and javier has back dimples, and kieran’s ribs stutter and dance beautifully when he laughs, and the flex of javier’s thighs warps his skin like a marble statue. javier escuella and kieran duffy love like artists, and they spend hours just learning and looking and studying each other, like a painter with his muse, like a writer with his words, like the last things they want to see while they’re dying are all the hours they spent learning the beauty of the other.

i could honestly come up with more but it would never leave my drafts, so i hope u like these that i came up with as quick as i could :’) ! i hope you’re feeling better and have gotten some good rest !! thank you for the ask !!!!!

[sainz100]

2024 Singapore GP | x

[elegyofthemoon]

out of curiosity!

[formulafics]

[inga-don-studio]

So many people have called me dapper today and I -

[voidwolfmilf]

Oh hell yes, thank you!

[ckerouac]

So, I really love the selection of Tim Walz for VP and it’s taken me a moment to articulate why. I mean, obviously, Dem bonafides, he’s sharp, he’s funny, etc etc. But everyone in the Veepstakes fits that bill, Harris was spoiled for good choices.

But Walz offers something that the other men in contention don’t that I think will be incredibly useful in combating Trumpism.

He offers an example and an off ramp to the section of men who felt like they were Republicans by default, and so support Trump by default. There are a lot of Trump voters who are full on obsessive, but that’s not who we’re talking to. We’re talking to folks who grew up in Republican areas, or felt their hobbies didn’t line up with who a Democrat was, or didn’t feel represented by their image of a Democrat. You want to see it so you can be it, you know? Which is why Harris is so inspirational to a lot of segments of folks, but Walz is too.

He served in the military. He went to a state college. He’s your favorite teacher from your public high school. He’s your football coach who actually cared if you were passing your math class. He’s the guy you looked up to at school when your family sucked but this guy cared, and he helped you get out and make something of yourself.

He’s the neighbor who helps you jump your car. He’s your uncle who takes you hunting. He’s your Dad who loves teasing you at the Stare Fair. He’s you when he makes a mistake like his DUI and takes responsibility for it, and when he has the chance makes sure other can come back from similar mistakes. He’s you when you and your wife want so badly to be parents and IVF gives you the family you wanted. He’s you when he says ‘it had to be me’ and used his standing and power to protect vulnerable kids sponsoring the GSA at his school.

He gives the real life example to these men that they can be that football, fishing, hunting family man who wants to provide for his family, be that powerful, respected member of the community and use that power to feed kids in school. That it’s normal to enthusiastically work for a boss like Harris. That yeah those other guys are fucking weirdos, and you’re not a weirdo, are you?

That there’s a place in the Democratic Party for them. That they don’t have to default to being fucking weird.

I hope those guys see this example of masculinity and go… yeah, that’s me. That’s who I’m gonna be.

[gracieheartspedro]

Dagger In The Heart

pairing: ellie williams x afab! reader

post about palestine - please be aware and know who your content comes from. this post informs you about the tlou writers and creators, as well as how to help the Palestinian people.

word count: 6.1k words

warnings: MINORS DNI!!! 18+ ty!!! abusive relationship mentioned, reader's bf is a cheating asshole, calls her names, makes comments about weight, talks of cheating, some lowkey cheating from reader, sharing clothes with ellie, ellie is 18+ but her age not specified, talks of hardly eating food at dinner, reader is a bit confused with her sexuality and wants to explore (which is fine!!! and normal!!!), wlw relations, pussy eating, fingering, tribbing, tattoos? lots of tattoos, dirty talk, reader being a bit desperate, getting caught (but not really), mentions of a strap, men being drunk and stupid. that's it. I think.

description: when you get the chance to meet your asshole boyfriend’s family, you take a liking to his sister, ellie. when a conversation about her tattoos turns into talks of what you’re really into, you can’t help but want to explore it more.

author’s note: hi girls, gays, and theys! I am so happy to be bringing this request to you. it was an anon request from july and I just suck at getting my life together to actually write. but here we are. FYI, I don't condone this behavior or cheating. anyway I hope you enjoy. I will also be putting this on my ao3 soon, so if you see it there, don't worry, it's just me (;

“You gotta chill, babe. Your anxiety is giving me anxiety.”

He was never very good with comforting you, so you bite back your snappy comment and just fake a smile.  

You had been dating your boyfriend Matt for almost a year. You two met in your college biology class and really bonded over your love for folk music and Greek food. He had kind eyes, mousy brown hair and the brightest smile you had ever seen. 

At first, you thought this was the best relationship you ever could ask for, but Matt grew distant after four months together. You didn’t know why, but his temper had shown itself one too many times. He fought with you constantly. He was quite jealous. You could never be seen with another boy without accusations of cheating. But every time you two argued, he always came back with an apology and a bouquet of flowers. You could not help but believe you could fix him. 

It had been 10 months, you had to brave meeting his family. Unlike you, his family lived two towns over and he visited them quite often. He was close to his younger brother and mom, so he made a point to see them as much as he could. 

He brought up the idea of meeting them back around the holidays, but you were planning to board a flight and visit your family across the country. He understood but was pretty disappointed you could not try his mom’s infamous pumpkin pie.

You had no excuse when summer came. So here you are, standing with him at his childhood home’s front door as he scrambled to find his keys. 

You were sporting something more dressed up than your normal. Matt loved this one black dress on you, so you decided to wear that with some cute flats. You were sorely regretting the shoe decision, the pointed-toed shoes squeezed your big toe and the arch was not high enough to be comfortable. 

He unlocks the deadbolt and the red door jolts open. You are instantly met with the scent of BBQ and cornbread. His childhood is cozy and lived in. The entrance is lined with shoes, everything from high heels to sneakers that have run through countless puddles. It was a sigh of relief, they were a no-shoes in the house family. You kick off your uncomfortable shoes, holding on to Matt’s shoulder for balance. 

His mom is the first one to enter the hallway to meet you two at the door. She is quite beautiful, her hair darker than Matt’s. She was shorter, wearing a nice blouse and jeans. She welcomes you both with a bear hug and cheers of excitement. When she pulls you out of the embrace, she gets a better look at you. 

“You are more beautiful in person, pictures do not do your gorgeous smile justice,” She remarks, squeezing your hands. 

You shake your head, trying your best not to let out that you are beyond nervous about this entire encounter. “You are too kind, thank you so much for hosting us.”

“Come meet the crew!”

Matt eyes meet yours, noticing how tense you are. You had hoped for him to hold your hand and guide you through this experience, but instead he just nudges you with his shoulder. He brushes by, heading after his mom. 

The hallway opens into a kitchen and living room, which is littered with random strangers who, in some way, resemble your boyfriend. 

His brother, Collin, stands up first from the barstools, racing over to your boyfriend to dap him up. When he glances your way, you just smile and introduce yourself. He extends his hand to shake yours, which you gladly accept. 

His dad is next to stand up from a recliner in the living room. He makes your acquaintance quickly, telling you he’s so glad to finally meet you after months of hearing all about you. 

When he moves away from in front of you, she comes into focus. You had not even noticed her sitting on the couch across the room. 

She’s slender, her dark locks framing her chiseled jawline. She looks like Matt, but more like a person who belongs in a Renaissance painting. Her eyes are a more dimensional brown. She has freckles scattered around her pale complexion, which only added her beauty. 

You do not realize you are gawking until Matt nudges you. “This is my sister, Ellie.”

You blink again, bringing your focus back to the situation. She extends her hand, and that’s when you take notice to her tattoo-filled arms. Her tank top raises a bit and you catch a glance of her midriff, exposing more tattoos littering her abdomen. 

“Nice to meet ya. Heard plenty about you.”

You swallow, taking her hand and shaking it. “I hope good things.”

“No, I only tell her the worst things about you.”

Everyone giggles except you and Ellie. Luckily it is filling the room with enough noise to drown out your thoughts about your boyfriend’s beautiful sister. 

Ellie rolls her eyes before whispering, “Don’t worry, it’s only ever good things, sweet cheeks.”

-

Matt’s dad loves to talk and you can tell it annoys Ellie. You were seated outside on their patio set, drinking some homemade lemonade Matt’s mom was adamant you had. He was helping her with all the sides that were still yet to be made, so you took up Ellie’s offer to check out the backyard space. You did not expect Matt’s dad to come with you two and tell you all about the flower beds he curated. 

But you listened, smiling and nodding while sipping on your tart drink. 

He got occupied with grilling, so you and Ellie were left on the couch near a very used and abused firepit. 

You wait for her to say something. She was truly making you nervous, her eyes trailing you every so often. 

“So, you and Matt met in science class?”

You finally look back at her wandering eyes, “Yeah, he was my biology partner.”

“Gotcha,” She leans forward, putting her elbows on her knees. You do not know what comes over you, but you cannot physically pull your eyes away from her arms as they flex. “You good?”

“I like your tattoos,” You barely manage to say, “They are… hot.”

You want to jump into the unlit firepit for that one. 

No other adjective came to your horny mind? Really?

She giggles, enjoying watching you practically squirm under her gaze. “Thanks, dude. My ex girlfriend was a tattoo artist so I let her practice on me.”

You remember a moment about 5 months ago when Matt mentioned his sister being gay, but for some reason, you finally connect that duh it’s Ellie, you fucking idiot. 

You also remember some choice words he had about her. You remember cringing when he called her a slur and said she could not keep a girl to save her life. You held your tongue and refused to reply.

“That’s awesome,” You scoot closer to her, bridging more of the gap between you two on the couch, “Which one is your favorite?”

She smiles at your intrusion into her space and questions. You realize you two are almost sizing each other up, right in front of her family, your boyfriend’s family. They could easily peek outside of the kitchen windows and see you two eye fucking each other. She leans back, her eyes tracing all the tattoos on her arms. 

Then she laughs. A deep guttural laugh. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” She brings her front teeth down on her bottom lip before speaking up again, “It’s a tattoo I can’t show you.”

“Why not?”

She looks towards the window, checking on her brother and mom. Her expression changes when she turns back to you. 

“Because I’m not pulling my tits out in front of my family.”

Your pussy practically pulses when you hear her say it. What is wrong with you? You are dating her brother. What is wrong with you?!

“Your… boobs are tattooed?”

She nods slowly, bringing her one hand up to your bare exposed thigh, “Bet that shakes a sweet one like you to your core.”

The comment insinuates that you are an innocent little girl who knows nothing about the world. And sure Matt is your first real boyfriend. Sure he was the first person ever to eat you out because your high school crushes did not even know that was a thing. Sure you never have been sexually promiscuous. Sure you thought you were straight. 

Sure.

But something inside you was crawling its way out. This small interaction with your asshole boyfriend’s sister was enough to send you into a spiral. You never gave a girl a chance so how were you supposed to know you did not like it?

“What if your family wasn’t around?”

Ellie is gobsmacked by your comment, her jaw practically hitting the floor. You can tell she realized she was flying too close to the sun. She pulls her hand away from your leg. 

“You are my brother’s girlfriend. I am not going to be the one to corrupt you,” She states, scooting over a bit away from you. Your cheeks get flushed, instantly feeling embarrassed for asking such a question. But the more you sat in silence, the more you realized that you really did not care. The feelings Ellie made you feel within the last 10 minutes were more exciting than any feeling Matt had given you in 10 months. 

You clear your throat, “Luckily for you, Ellie, you would not be the one to corrupt me. That has already been done.”

She looks at you quizzically, “Is that so?”

“Yeah, I may look sweet and innocent,” You creep in close to her, “But I am really a freak.”

Now you are just lying. 

Before she can utter a word, Matt’s brother comes out to let you two know dinner was done. You hope and pray he didn’t take notice to how close you two were. Or how Ellie stared at your ass as you walked away. 

-

You sit between Matt and Ellie at the table. 

Every so often during the meal, you would place your hand on Matt’s leg. He would push you away, rolling his eyes when you glared at him. When the conversation came around to him, he would find a way to demean you and then continue blabbing about school or his internship. 

You answered questions from his mom and dad, but you were sorely uninterested in them. But then the conversation comes around as to whether you two would be staying the night tonight. At this point, Matt had already had four beers, and you knew he probably would not want you driving his new Mustang. 

“You can take Matt’s bed and he can sleep on the couch,” His mom suggests, indicating that you two would not be sleeping together. You understood that they were a bit more traditional, but you were not expecting to sleep in your boyfriend's childhood bed without him. 

“That’s a great idea, Ma. We can stay, right?”

You look at the plate of practically untouched food in front of you. You just nod, finally saying, “As long as you give me some comfy sweatpants to wear.”

“Mine are all back at my apartment, but I’m sure Ellie has something you could borrow. Plus, you probably wouldn’t fit my sweatpants.”

Matt constantly made comments about your figure and how he could not share clothes with you. He refused to share his clothes with you, stating that you would not be able to squeeze into them and you also “left your scent on everything”. 

God, he made you feel terrible about yourself. 

Butterflies erupt in your stomach when you think about wearing Ellie’s clothes, though, and you completely drown out the separate conversation happening around the table. You feel a hand creep up your thigh, but it's not coming from the side you expect.

Her hand is so soft and delicate as it creeps up your leg. You cannot help but glance at her direction, catching her smiling over at you. 

“Don’t worry, I got something you can wear.”

-

Dinner finishes up and Matt expresses that he wants to go for a round of drinks with his high school friends and brother at the local tavern down the street. He never asks if you want to go, telling you “It would just be high school friends that you don’t know, anyway.”

He tells you that his Mom and Ellie would get you all set up. He gives you a pat on the back, and heads to the door, right behind his brother. You watch him leave and almost breathe a sigh of relief. 

When you turn back, you see his Mom already going upstairs. 

“I’m gonna get your bed all set up and then I’m probably going to retire to my bed, too.” She states, slowly making her way up the wooden staircase. 

You wanted to scream because this only meant one thing. You were alone with Ellie. 

You follow her up the stairs and look around the hallway. She heads to the right and begins pointing at the only room with the light on. You didn’t even know that Ellie was upstairs.

“Have Ellie get you something to wear, I’ll make up your bed!”

The door swings open and Ellie stands there, having changed into her own bedtime clothes. And for fucks sake, she’s not making this easy for you. 

She is sporting a tight white tank, no bra, and shorts that ride up to the very tops of her thighs. Her legs are tattooed as well, but not as much as her arms. There isn’t a touch of her freckled skin that isn’t marked with art. You can almost see through her shirt, making your mouth go dry. 

“Let’s see what you fit into!”

She lets you into her space. Her room is decorated with posters of space and heavy metal bands. From the looks of one corner of her room, she’s an artist. She has different art styles, anywhere from charcoal to watercolors, littering a desk and her walls. It’s messy, but it’s not dirty. It smells like incense and clean laundry. 

She walks over to her dresser, opens up the top drawer. Everything is neatly folded, which kind of surprises you. 

“I have some sweatpants, shorts, boxers-“

“Sweatpants are fine,” You retort, not wanting her to list off anything else, “Do you have any t-shirts I could wear?”

“Well of course I do, sweet cheeks. What do you want, loose or tight?”

You stare at her dumbfounded. You know what she’s doing. And you hate yourself for liking it so much. 

She pulls out a pair of navy blue sweatpants, still waiting for your reply. 

“Loose.”

She starts to dig through another drawer when Matt’s mom pops her head in. 

“It’s all set up for you, sweetheart. If you need anything, you let one of us know. I’m going to downstairs if you need me.”

You smile, thankfully. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Williams.”

“If she needs anything, I’m sure I could help her find her way,” Ellie says, absentmindedly. She pulls out a white t-shirt from her drawer and tosses it at you. 

“Goodnight, girls!”

And then you two are alone. Ellie slowly saunters to her door and shuts it. 

“You can get dressed here. Just make sure what I gave you fits.”

You silently turned your back to her, tossing your hair over your shoulder. “Can you unzip me?”

You are not even thinking straight. You are so caught up with being alone with the girl you have had weird sexual tension with. She walks over to you confidently, before grabbing the top of your black dress, which lands right at the middle of your back. She pulls down the zipper, ensuring it reaches the very end of its track. 

The hairs on your back stand up in her wake. You breathe deeply, before shimmying the dress off your shoulders. You were wearing a bra, so you were just going to keep it on. You step out of the dress, leaving you in just underwear and the push-up bra Matt gifted you not too long ago. 

You don’t turn to her, but she just comes around to your front, nonchalantly. 

“Jesus Christ,” Ellie stammers, before plopping on her bed. You shakingly step into the sweatpants she gifted you to wear, unsure how to respond. You rack your brain trying to gain the confidence you had before dinner, but your mouth is dry and your brain is dazed from seeing Ellie in her pajamas. 

You finally manage to glance up at her hungry eyes, smiling softly. 

“I never knew I would be jealous of my brother.”

You swallow, “Jealous?”

“Yeah, he gets to have someone like you every night and I can’t even find someone worth hanging out with around here. Never thought a nerd like him would win over a woman like you.”

You are standing in the sweatpants and your bra, not able to digest her words completely. A woman like you?

“Your brother is sweet. And we don’t have sex every night.”

“Just sweet?” She steps a bit closer to you, “And I said nothing about sex, darling, I said he gets to have you.”

She is looking at you like you are her prey. You almost fell to your knees and begged her to put you out of your misery, but you resisted. Instead, she just stands up, trying to catch your nervous glances. 

“H-he, uh, does what he can, when we d-do, yanno.”

Her fingers trace up your arm, her eyes trailing as she does it. You bite the inside of your cheek, waiting for her response. She clicks her tongue a couple of times, shaking her head. 

“I am sure he tries,” She sputters, standing back from you, “Do you even really like him?”

You furrow your eyebrows, suddenly snapping out of the situation you are currently in. You reflect for a moment.

Matt was an asshole but you sometimes enjoyed his company. He made you laugh on occasion. But deep down, you knew that he wasn’t made for you. He lacked emotional intelligence and made sure to put you down any chance he got. You had inklings he was talking to other girls and his friends were probably the most intolerable people on your college campus. And then there was that one time when the inklings were just. 

The realization that you maybe didn’t like him made you sick. You wasted so much time and now you have met his family.

“When he’s not mean to me. When he isn’t cheating on me.” You admit quietly, almost too humiliated to say it. 

She crooks her neck, “He cheated on you?”

You hate talking about it, it made you feel as though you were never good enough. He made it out that it was your fault because you would not have sex with him when you had the flu. “It was just some hand stuff, baby,” he said to you. 

“Just once. I forgave him because he told me he loved me.”

“People who love you don’t hurt you like that,” Ellie says without a beat. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Is he mean to you all the time?”

You think back to the last nice thing he said to you. Your ass looks fat in that dress. And even that could be seen as a bad thing. You shake your head, trying to find a good way to paint her brother. From the looks of it, she doesn’t really like him all that much anyway. 

“Most of the time.”

“So, what I’m hearing is my brother is an asshole that doesn’t know how to treat a woman both in life and in the bedroom. Is that what you’re saying?”

You stand there pondering her question, coming up with nothing. She was right, but were you ready to admit that?

So you shrug.

Ellie stands with her arms crossed now, chewing on the inside of her lip. She’s contemplating something, her eyes falling to the floor for a moment. 

“Listen, I am not just saying this because it has taken everything in my power to resist sinking my teeth into you,” The first half of the sentence put your heart in your throat. Nonetheless, she carries on, “But I have an inkling that you don’t like my brother at all. I think you like girls and you’ve never had the chance to explore that. You want to say you are a freak, but you really don’t know what that even means.”

“Ellie, I d-”

“You need to break up with my brother,” She states plainly, “And then, after all is said and done, I can show what it looks like to be taken care of.”

You agree, sadly. You do need to break up with Matt. And on the basis that you believe that he’s probably at the bar hanging out with old friends, probably with other girls, probably flirting with those other girls. You decide you are not going to wait anymore. He cheated on you once, what’s stopping him now? Ellie was right about everything, and while that revelation changes your entire perspective on life, you settle on jumping head first. 

“Show me now.”

You watch all the blood drain from her face. She fumbles with her inked hands, waiting for you to say you didn’t mean it. That moment never comes. 

“Are you sure about that?”

Swallowing hard, you just nod. You do not even realize what you are getting yourself into, but the undeniable chemistry cannot be ignored anymore. You don’t even want to waste another thought on Matt. You know if you think too hard about it, you’ll talk yourself back into staying with him.

Ellie’s face gets closer to yours and your lips connect seamlessly. She wastes no time, bringing her hands down to your waist to pull you in. You wrap your arms around her neck while fireworks erupt in your chest.

Her lips taste like mint and a dab pen your college roommate made you hit a couple of months ago. She was borderline intoxicating. 

She backs you up towards her bed, letting your knees hit the edge of the mattress. You plop down, disconnecting from her lips. 

Through hooded lids, she asks you, “Do you want to see my favorite tattoo, then?”

Your breathing hitches as she does not even wait for a response, she just pulls her tank top over her head.

Each piece is connected somehow. Her stomach piece is what appeared to be a dragon flying up towards her under-boob area. It was extremely detailed and took up a large half of her upper stomach. Around her collarbones were very intricate lines that almost rain over her body like veins. They spread down her chest onto her boobs, where around her nipples were two matching daggers appearing to go through her areola. 

You smirk at the idea that these are her favorite tattoos. The cheeky ones around her tits.

“Holy shit, Ellie.”

You reach out and touch her tits, ever so delicately. You use your finger to outline the daggers, smiling to yourself. 

Being this close sends a pulsating feeling down to your pussy. You have never felt a lightning strike quite like it before. 

She’s letting you feel her up, but when you change your tune and start pinching at her nipples, she throws her head back with a groan.

“Hmm, you should try putting one in your mouth,” She remarks, hoping to God you would be eager enough to do so. She was very in tune with you because you leaned forward taking her right nipple into your mouth. She’s guiding you around every turn, whispering how good you are doing already. 

You release her with a pop and sit back. You reach around to release your own, but she stops you. 

“Lemme do it,” She says mounting your lap. You place your hand on her hips while she runs her fingertips across your back. She unhooks your black bra, letting your tits spill out. 

You feel the tops of your hands stand up as soon as her hands begin to knead your tits. You glance down at her movements, watching your sensitive nipples perk up due to the attention she’s giving them. 

“Mmm, you like that, sweetness?”

You just groan, your lips needing to do more than just talk. You pull Ellie’s ajar mouth down to yours, diving your tongue between her teeth. You never had such a hunger for anyone else. No guy ever made you feel this way. 

She nudges your shoulders, having you fall onto your back. Her lips move away from yours and start to trail down your neck and chest. When her wet mouth touches your tits, you cannot control the sounds that leave your throat. She bites down on your supple skin, which makes you groan more. 

“You gotta quiet down a bit. Don’t need anyone hearing us.”

You try to manage your noises, but as soon as she starts to kiss down to the hem of the sweatpants she loaned you, you know you’ll never be quiet like she needs you to be. She tugs at the waistband, taking your underwear with it. 

You are now butt naked on her bed. And god, the air is hitting the wetness between your legs is titillating. 

“Listen, sweets,” She whispers, palming your thighs with her tattooed hands, “I’m going to make you cum on my tongue first. Then I am going to fuck this pussy so good, you won’t know any other cock but the fake one in my side table. You hear me?”

Your stomach is in knots, but you know that this is what you really want. “Okay, Ellie. Please do whatever you think I will like.”

“You’re gonna like it all, baby girl. And if it gets a bit dodgy, you just let me know and we can stop.”

You shake your head positively as she smiles between your legs. She starts by kissing up your thighs, keeping you completely in a trance. When her mouth finds your slit, she licks a long stripe. She takes her time, working her tongue in between your pussy lips. The wet sound that happens when she shakes her head is pornographic. When she finds your clit, she encases it and starts to suck lightly. You scream out in pleasure, never feeling this sensitive before. It usually took a whole lot of Matt lazily fingering you and fucking you to illicit such a response. Ellie is building up an orgasm within you in record time. 

She uses her fingers to open up your pussy a little bit more. You instinctively want to close your legs, but her left arm has your legs locked on her bed. Her middle and index fingers curl inside you with every motion forward. 

Her eyes are closed and you are laser-focused on her expressions. She’s putting her all into making you feel good and it’s relieving to watch someone put so much care into it. 

You notice the small little freckles that scatter across her nose get lighter as they reach her cheekbones. She’s so fucking pretty. 

“Jesus, you’re doin’ so good sweetheart. You feel so good.”

“Oh my god, Ellie, please don’t stop,” Your voice is strained, begging her to continue fucking you. She chuckles and begins to pick up speed. Your mind is cluttered, unsure how you can feel this good. 

When the peripherals of your vision begin to get white, you know it’s over. She latches her lips back onto your clit, humming to drag the orgasm out of you. When it happens, your deep guttural moans get muffled by her palm.

You think your heart is going to stop beating. 

Once you begin to feel your muscles relax, Ellie is crawling on top of you, hovering over your chest, her lips kissing your collarbones.

“You did such a great job, baby girl,” She dotes, her short hair falling across her forehead, “You’re so fuckin’ sexy.”

Your heart swells up a thousand sizes. You never got called that before, let alone felt sexy. But Ellie had this aura to her. She made you feel sexy, desirable, wanted. 

Your hand reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear, “Please show me more.”

She nods, before she leans back on her knees. She balances on one leg before shoving her pajama shorts down. The ink travels to every part of her body and you wonder if the ones around her hips hurt. The snakes that travel up her thighs, have their heads resting right on her hip bones. 

You sit up and observe her movements, she’s fumbling with something in her drawer. She seemingly cannot find what she’s looking for and slams it shut. 

“How about this,” She says with a huff, “I want you to see what it feels like to grind that pretty little pussy on mine anyway. The strap will have to wait.”

You feel the blood drain from your face, “The strap?”

She giggles at your not-so-faux innocence. “We will try that next time.”

You aren’t ready for her to grab onto your legs and move you like a rag doll around her bed. She rests her body horizontally from yours, her lower half lining up with yours. You were not sure how this worked, but you had heard of scissoring before. The technicality was lost on you. 

You sit up waiting for instruction, but Ellie is so hypnotized by your wet slit, she doesn’t even look at you. You watch her reach out and touch your dripping center and it sends an electric shock down your limbs. You throw your head back, hissing at the action. 

“God, that cunt is so pretty.”

You finally look back at her, wanting nothing more but to fuck her like she fucked you. So in return for her toying with you, you hastily reach out and touch her pussy. You are confused by what to do, but by her reaction, you know you did something right. 

“Tell me what we are doing,” You beg, closing your legs in closer to hers. She nods, watching your fingers pull apart her pussy lips. 

“Pull your cunt against mine and ride me like you’d ride Matt’s dick.”

You halt your movements, “Ride him?”

“You’ve never ridden him before?”

Your response was your silence. You had never explored much with him, simply because he was quick to get his nut before traversing to other territories. 

She helps you sit up, hover your cunt over hers. You can not lie, the sight of her sticky wet pussy was hot. She guides you down so your mound is on hers. She bites her lip as you practically drool watching your purely untouched body against her painted figure. 

“Now move your hips back,” Her hands are gripping onto your hips, showing you the way, “And forth.”

The friction is immediately overstimulating, but it feels like an itch you’ve never scratched. So fucking delicious. 

“Shit…” You groan at the response your body is giving you.

“Practice makes perfect, baby. Keep moving those hips.” 

You have never been on top, but it’s almost freeing to be in control of the movements. You weren’t sure what you should grip onto as you rubbed your pussy against hers, so you grip onto your own shoulders. Your hips gyrate, the slickness between your legs starts trailing down to Ellie’s navy blue sheets. 

“God, this pussy is so fucking perfect,” Ellie says through gritted teeth. She holds down your hips, somehow trying to get you closer to her.

“It’s yours.” You whine, letting the lust take over your speech. You had no clue what that meant for this situation, you just knew that Ellie knew how to fuck you and it was bliss. Your hands leave your shoulders and eventually find Ellie’s tits.

“This pussy is mine? The first cunt you fuck is the cunt you fuck forever?”

You want to laugh, but the bubble in your stomach is about to burst already with how fucked out of your mind you are. “If the cunt is yours, then yes. I want this forever.”

Ellie sucks on her two fingers before she reaches down, finding the very top of your cunt, and begins to press down on that sensitive little bud. The saliva only mixes with the messiness of your liquids. You squeeze her nipples in response. 

“Never going back to my stupid fuckin’ brother, hm? This pussy belongs to me.”

“Yes, Ellie, fuck!” 

She smiles at your quickening pace. She knows you’re reaching your breaking point, and she knows that she’s close herself. 

“Come for me, baby. Come all over my fuckin’ cunt.”

You jolt forward, your hips stilling over hers. You don’t know if you’ve felt a sensation quite like it. You had tears pricking the corners of your eyes as your body felt like a volcano erupting. The curses leaving Ellie’s lips as she came from your orgasm only added to the high you felt. You knew words were leaving your mouth, but they were just jumbled together strings of sentences. 

“Jesus Christ…”

“It feels so good…”

“I want this pussy forever…”

You fall over next to Ellie, your legs still intertwined with hers. She was trying to catch her breath, her body still jittery from her high. 

“That was per-”

“Babe!!”

Your stomach drops to your ass when you hear Matt’s voice.

You jump up from Ellie’s bed, finding the closest clothes you can grab at. Ellie does the same, but takes her time throwing a tank top over her bed head. His footsteps are practically running up the steps. 

You are still wobbly on your legs, practically falling over trying to put on the pants she loaned you. You just keep saying “fuck” over and over again, knowing that you two will probably be caught. You just finished putting on a shirt when he barges into the room. 

He’s drunk. 

“What are you still doing in here?” He asks you in an accusatory slurred voice. Collin is close behind him, trying to shush him.

“Chill, dude. I was just showin’ her some of my art.” Ellie defends, plopping down on her bed. She’s trying to mask the fact that her bed is wet with your cum. 

While he blabs about how Ellie sucks at art, which he is very wrong about, you notice a red blotch on his shirt collar. You zero in on it because you fucking knew. 

“Matt, what’s on your neck?” You interrupt.

He stops his rant to look down at you. His eyes are bloodshot. He’s so gone that his mind can’t make up an excuse. 

“It’s from Sophie,” He blurts out, his lips getting ahead of his brain. Ellie pauses and the entire room goes dead silent. You had no idea what to say back to that. You had no clue who Sophie was. You honestly did not care, your relationship was already done in your head. You were just kind of shell-shocked that it happened exactly how your mind doctored it.  

You glance over at Ellie who is already looking at you. Collin clears his throat. 

“I think this a conversation for the morning,” Collin says, grabbing Matt’s arm to tug him out of the room. 

You nod, “Yeah, Collin, great idea. Why don’t you take Matt to bed? Tuck him in and give him a sweet kiss like Sophie did.”

Matt’s face turns bright red, the same thing it always did when he got mad at you. Before he could lash out at you, Collin drags him out of the room and into the hall. Before shutting the door behind him, he says, “I’m sorry.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “It’s fine. It’s not the first time. But it will be the last.”

When the door clicks shut, you hear Matt whisper yelling at Collin about how big of a bitch you are. How you didn’t deserve him. Yadda-yadda-yadda. 

Ellie just gawks at you. The tone of the room changed so drastically so quickly that you felt almost disconnected from reality. 

“You okay?” She asks innocently, her hand holding onto your shoulder. 

Your legs are still weak. “Yeah, I think I’ll need more practice though.”

She is confused, you can tell by the look on her face. “Huh?”

“I’ll need more practice riding you. And, hey, you didn’t get to use that fake dick on me, remember?”

-

taglist (for those who said they wanted this haha)

@cavillscurls @satellitespinner @mourningdovee @hockeyhughes @stonerzdaze420692 @00ops1e @sunflowerwinds @holilogram @whoucallingalesbian @aurelialuna

[slightly-knot-insane]

Centaur Riding Class (part 1)

Monstertober 2024 - day 28 [ Greek Mythology ] by @/ozzgin

[ centaur x fem!reader ]

a/n: this is a mini choose your own adventure fic! please vote in the end, let's see who will you end up with :3 content: sfw

Your dear friend insisted on getting some horse-riding lessons. It will be fun, she said. It will occupy your mind, she insisted. And god knows you needed some distraction after that nasty break-up.

What you didn't expect was a centaur riding school. And it's a huge fancy place with massive centaur-oriented houses, porches and pools, and large fields everywhere.

"Don't worry, it's a special place," she winks. You are now not only suspicious but alarmed. Where did she bring you to? As you enter the estate, you notice that both people and centaurs are wearing bathing suits. Wait. No, those are... underwear? And some have nothing at all!

"They are naked!" Your friend clicks with her tongue and pushes you further and into the biggest building, telling you to shut up and stop worrying.

As you enter, you're greeted with a beautiful mare. No, no, they are not mares, they are women! You remember your other friend who dated a centaur told you that centaur folk don't like being called mares and stallions. It's kinda offensive... until you get to bed them. Then it's, apparently, a big turn-on. Do centaurs even have beds?

"Hey!" Your friend snaps her fingers in front of your face. "Stop daydreaming and tell madam what are your preferences."

"Madam? Preferences?"

The lady centaur in front of you delightfully giggles, her long horse legs crossing each other in a rather human-looking way. "So this is your first time in our fine establishment." It wasn't a question.

"I would love to treat her with some free classes." A very handsome stall... I mean, centaur man leans against the wall, eyeing you with a smirk. His black hair and skin are so beautiful and shiny. He must be oiled with something, nobody can glisten like that. He wears a rather posh shirt and vest but they cling to his body like a second skin. You hope nobody noticed you wiping off your drool.

"Oh, our best mentor offers his services?" The madam rolls her eyes playfully. "I thought you weren't interested in any more work today."

"Well..." He flashes a quick smile and his eyes meet yours. "I am now."

"What a schmoozer, oh dear, oh dear, I'm gonna faint!" A muscular female centaur enters the room wiping her neck with a towel while feigning awe. She's only wearing a sports bra, and her exposed abs are covered in sweat. And soon you are. She sticks her tongue out at the male centaur. "Be direct and say that she's super cute and want to mentor her - like I do." She winks and her smile lights up her whole face so that her bright red hair looks like fire.

"I thought you will go home after gym?" Madam asks her and crosses her arms.

"That's true. But if our new visitor decides she wants to give me a chance, I'll take a quick shower and show her some useful moves." Is she flirting with you too?

"Now who's a schmoozer?" The man shakes his head.

Madam looks at you and smiles a graceful elven smile. Can centaurs be elves, too? "Well, these two are our most excellent mentors. I warmly recommend their services and experience. And since they are quite interested, I guess your first time will be on the house. Who will it be?"

[ part 2 ]

[hussyknee]

I AM WHEEZING.

I know some dickheads have now decided that Judaism is the "bad, violent, terrorist religion" and Islam is the "good, peaceful" one, which is only to be expected of white people, but how much of an issue is it currently? Like I've seen some USAmericans sharing how the Islamic faith shapes Gazans values and perseverance (good) except with that distinct white hippie "I'm about to imprint on this like the world's most racist duck" vibe (bad), but I didn't think they're already turning on Judaism in numbers.

Do they realize that Christianity is also the same kind of comfort to Christian minorities in Asia and Africa? That it was Buddhists that genocided the Rohingyas in Myanmar and Tamils in Sri Lanka? That Hindu fundamentalists are even now trying to ethnically cleanse Muslims in India? How Hindus and Christians are terrorized and persecuted in Pakistan? That Muslims have had a long history of persecuting and ethnically cleansing Jews too?

Really tired of asking y'all to be normal about people's religions man. There's no religion that's inherently violent or exceptionally peaceful. It's just like any other ideology that becomes a weapon in the hands of ethnic power. Interrogate power, not religion, and respect people's belief systems insofar as they aren't in your business.

[xomakara]

Seduced By the Bad Boy

SUMMARY |  Your so-called 'Bad Boy' best friend Wooyoung catches you looking at adult toys after taking a nap beside you.

PAIRINGS |  Wooyoung x Reader

RATING | Mature, NSFW, EXPLICIT, MDNI, 18+

GENRE |  BestFriend!Wooyoung, BestFriend!Reader, chubby!Reader, college au, non-idol au, smut, friends to lovers. bad boy trope

CONTENT/WARNINGS | profanity/strong language, filthy dirty thoughts, unprotected sex (wrap it up ya’ll!), fingering, oral sex (f. receiving/m. giving), dirty talk, praise kink, pet names, creampies

LENGTH |  5,280 words

TAGLIST | @jjoongstar

NETWORKS | @illusionnet @atzhouse @cromernet @wonderlandnet

@ksmutsociety @k-vanity @othersideoutlawsnetwork

AUTHOR’S NOTE |  It's finally finished. Thank god. Thank you @rems-writing for suggesting a bratty bad boy trope and thank you to these lovely folks @shadowkoo @beomcoups @inkchwe @kwanisms for the sprinting sessions. I would never have finished this without that lol.

I hope you all like it. Lots of love 💚

"Y/N!" Wooyoung called out as he barged into your apartment, throwing his bag on the ground. "Where are you!?"

You let out a frustrated sigh as you looked away from your phone to find Wooyoung knocking on your door before barging into your room and sitting next to you on your bed. You held back an eye roll but smirked, putting your phone down.

"What's the point of knocking on the door if you don't even give me a chance to respond?" You chuckled as he crawled next to you and collapsed against the pillow with a huff. Wooyoung groaned while laughing and leaned over to push at your knee playfully. 

"I wouldn't have to barge in if you responded faster, but you're slow and I got shit to do," he mumbled, grabbing the extra pillow and tucking it under his chin while holding his head up. You glanced over to find his eyes were already set on you, but that's nothing new. The two of you have a very, odd, relationship and have no shame.

"And by shit to do, you mean school and fucking?" You rolled your eyes when Wooyoung scoffed, amused and grabbed a loose piece of lint and threw it at him. "Speaking of, how's that thing between you and that girl, Jinhee?"

"Don't tell me you're actually interested in what's happening to me and a girl," Wooyoung made a gross face, which you also had an identical one. You scrunched up your nose and shook your head and then he sat back, eyes narrowed and pursed lips as if he were thinking very hard. "Is Y/N into women now? Does she want a three—"

"Fuck off, Woo," you hissed, cutting him off with a glare. Wooyoung only laughed while placing his hand on his heart and pulling out his puppy eyes. "We both know you only come over when you want to cuddle or rant or get tips on fucking." 

You waved your hands towards yourself, scoffing when he puckered his lips out for attention. You gently pushed him back by his forehead, but it did little to his antics as he was leaning in the opposite direction and fell flat against the pillows. You turned around to see his chest moving rapidly up and down as a breathy, high-pitched laugh rang in his voice, making you smirk.

When you first met Wooyoung back in high school, you were instantly friends as your personalities were alike. Well, you had more common sense than him. It was only later in the years did you finally understand what Wooyoung was and what his habits were about. He categorizes everyone in his life into two groups: women he's involved with, and you. The relationship between you and Wooyoung confuses you even to this day, because there is literally no romantic feelings. And that's the part that's confusing about your relationship, because he openly flaunts how much he loves to make out with random girls at parties, but yet... you get the affection that the rest of the girls wanted to receive, minus the sex.

There was that one girl who lasted the longest, which is roughly like a few months. Everyone thought it was love and it made sense why it lasted, because it seemed like it. The couple's relationship seemed to blossom into a romance, with flirting and soft kisses exchanged whenever they were near each other. Wooyoung, in particular, seemed to soften and become calmer. But then the jealousy came, and it was all downhill from there.

Nowadays, it was rare that there was someone that caught his eyes long enough, and when it did, the girls lasted no longer than three to four weeks. The girls get possessive over him and when they found out that he was best friends with you, they suddenly despised you. Wooyoung is typically unbothered by this, as you don't interfere in his personal life, and it doesn't usually bother you either. But on rare occasions, you'd get that sad call where Wooyoung would mumble over the phone about missing you, even though he saw you the day before, and how he was sorry. Those occasions were when you'd comfort him from a distance, too afraid to cross the invisible line that both of you were the only one's who knew were there. So as much as you hated the flaunting and the girls who wanted your head on a pike, you played nice and continued with the façade.

"Don't touch me," you muttered as you squished your side against the wall, which was pretty useless because soon Wooyoung's torso was plopped over you with his fingers wiggling between you and the wall.

"Hey, this is the best way to cuddle. Let me feel you," Wooyoung whined while pressing his cheek onto yours and held onto you tighter. "Mhmm, I feel so complete now. "

"What am I? Your teddy bear or something?" You mumbled, still pushing him away from you. He held tight before shuffling to wrap his arm around your stomach and chest and nuzzled into your shoulder.

"Yeah, you're my cuddly Y/N," Wooyoung mumbled, "and we're going to be together forever."  

"Good god, you sound like a psychopathic weirdo right now," you gave up on shoving Wooyoung off and let him take up most of the room and leaned your head on him with a defeated sigh. You slapped his hand away when he was squeezing your soft body. "Is that why you come over? To squeeze my fat?"

"How many times do I have to say you're not fat? You have the perfect amount of cushion, especially here..." You couldn't see, but you felt the smile on Wooyoung's mouth and immediately shivered when you felt his finger and thumb squeeze the flabby fat on the side of your waist. You whipped around to smack his hands away, his high pitched laughter ringing in your ears when you turned. "C'mon, I was complimenting you! How would I live without my stress toy? I have needs and you help fulfill them."

"Get the fuck out of my apartment, Jung Wooyoung," you slapped his hands and hid your waist from his reaching hands. He was pouting and rubbing his hands. "That's what you get."

"Fine, I'm done squeezing the hell out of you," Wooyoung laughed, making a few breathy noises and nodded along before smashing himself into you again. He wrapped his arms around you before falling back onto the bed with a groan. His limbs were sprawled around you and he kept shifting until he could hug you tightly.

You rolled your eyes as you gently heard his soft snoring for a few minutes. You decided to browse online and maybe do some online shopping, especially now that there were sales and discounts for the season. You didn't think much about browsing your favorite adult toys, so you thought why not? You haven't had much action lately and would rather not rely on your imagination and your hands. It'd been quite a while since you had something to spice up your alone time and with the adult money you're saving by living by yourself, you can buy things like these for yourself.

A few clicks into browsing around, the feeling of someone else being with you while shopping online for adult sex toys is a little uncomfortable and awkward, not to mention a bit embarrassing. You glanced next to you, hoping that Wooyoung was sleeping deeply enough so he can't see what's currently happening on the screen. Thankfully he was drooling on his pillow with an obnoxious open mouth snore that signaled that he was knocked out. You let out a soft sigh before returning your attention to the screen and continued browsing around the pages of the familiar site. You did come across the item you were interested in and the 25% off and the 50% off discount did sound appealing to your eyes. Not that your items cost a lot of money, but why not buy it for cheaper? You've been meaning to try out some edgier stuff that'll add a little bit more intensity when you were having 'me time'.

Wooyoung moaned lightly from his slumber before nudging his head to fit in your hair better. You turned your head around and found his cheek now pushing against your temple as you could literally hear him breathing and how his chest vibrated with each exhale. Wooyoung's presence was oddly soothing, you will admit, but there were times where he really annoyed you and was a complete menace to you. However, at times like this where your body fits right with him, his warmth providing a bit of relaxation after the exhausting days, it felt nice, as odd as it sounds, having Wooyoung snuggle in your bed with you.

Your gaze followed a strand of his hair that was sticking to his forehead and you gently brushed it back as well, smiling fondly. Wooyoung grunted a bit in his sleep and a pout formed on his face. The strands you tried to brush away were falling over his eyebrows and again, so you took hold of another. His hair was surprisingly soft when it wasn't stiff with his gel and hair spray. Wooyoung hates when you ruin his 'modern' look so that's why he keeps it styled up and almost never lets his hair down, not even when he sleeps over. So you couldn't resist but comb back his hair once more, making his hair even more disheveled. You patted down the edges a little bit before deciding it's enough and went back to browsing on your phone.

"Mmm," you hummed softly, a smile slowly etched on your face as you eyed the details and prices of your ideal wand vibrator. The first impression didn't look too bad and the prices were even better; 70% off for a limited time. You could grab yourself a new set of lingerie for yourself as a celebration for moving into a new apartment and you haven't indulged yourself in something new and cute in a while, and maybe for some future potential dates.

The problem right now is whether or not you want the red one with the wider head, which will probably get the job done a bit faster...

"Why are you looking at sex toys?" A sleepy mumble whispered in your ear, startling the hell out of you when you found Wooyoung reading over your shoulder. You quickly closed your phone and threw it somewhere behind you. Wooyoung chuckled while dropping his weight on top of you with his whole body and pinned your body down, trapping your arm underneath.

"So I don't end up in your bed, you fucking weirdo," you shoved him with a grumble and felt Wooyoung's face erupt in soft, airy laughs right by your head.

"You know you can just use me," Wooyoung muttered, his voice dropping an octave lower with a raspy tone that came from his post nap state. "I'm sure I'll feel better than a dildo."

You glared at Wooyoung for even bringing it up and of course Wooyoung saw and threw on his smirk. His nose was brushing against the side of your jaw line and he was constantly staring down at the website. You shifted to scoot away from him, not liking the fact that you're talking about him dicking you down like that with no remorse.

"At least with a dildo, I don't have to worry about catching feelings," you rolled your eyes.

"What if I wanted you to catch feelings?" Wooyoung softly asked. The tone of his voice made you bite the inside of your cheek and kept you frozen under him. "What if I wanted to be your good boy and not a bad one for once, just for you? What would you have to say then, huh?" 

He shuffled closer, his hot breath ghosted over the soft flesh of your lips and down to your neck. The skin to skin contact was intoxicating, especially when his soft hand was running down your waist. You glanced over to see his expression and noticed that he was so close to your face. 

Too close.

"Are you serious? Are you joking? What game are you playing, Jung Wooyoung?" You glared at him and placed your hand on his shoulders, ready to push him if he tried something.

"Can I not be serious for once?" Wooyoung whispers, his deep brown eyes searched your face and you could feel him analyzing every single feature on your face. Your hand was limp and stayed frozen on his shoulder, not knowing if it wanted to pull him closer or push him far away. His fingers were lightly tracing over the hem of your sweat pants, dipping to run circles over your bare hip, exposed where your shirt had ridden up. "Can't I change for you, the only person who seems to understand me? Can't I be your good boy? Because god knows, it's all I ever want to be." 

"What if this is another joke?" Your voice sounded more like a plea rather than a question. "There's no way that you would like a girl like me, all soft and chubby." You glanced down at your round stomach and thick thighs to find your chubbiness not too different from a soft cushion.

"You don't even see yourself the way that I do. How do I get that through your skull?" Wooyoung whispered, his hands cupping either side of your cheeks to force you to look at him, which made you involuntarily shiver. You gulped loudly when he pulled away with a serious, straight face. "Y/N, can't I just treat you like what a man should do with a woman that he likes and wants? Can't we go out and actually start something that can actually lead somewhere rather than this confusing friendship? Can you take the next step for us and see if there was something beyond platonic love with me?"

"You know being with me means that you'll have to stop your fuckboy ways, right? The constant fucking, the multiple women, the one-nighters... It means that the two of us would only have each other to love, and that's a big risk," you mumbled out with shaky lips and searched his expression. You swallowed thickly before moving your gaze to his plump, full lips. "Are you ready to give that all up?"

"Do you even realize how crazy I've been over you? How I've always followed you around like a little duckling, showering you with affection because I didn't know how else to handle my growing feelings? That even when I sleep with other people, I can never get you out of my mind and always think about what could have been?" Wooyoung's voice rose in a quiet rant as he took your hand and placed it on his neck, guiding it to where his pulse throbbed visibly. You watched your hands intently, seeing the slight bob of his Adam's apple before his fingers left yours, leaving your hand flat and steady on the warm skin.

You stared at his darkening, chocolate colored eyes that were lit with something that made your tummy twist. Your voice was small and barely audible when your other hand slipped up his shoulder and around his neck, grabbing onto the short, black hair at the base of his hairline."What about all the girls that are out there, waiting for a sliver of your attention and love?"

"Don't you know I'd do anything for you?" His breath was hot against the skin of your lips. 

"Yeah? Like what?" You leaned closer, the tip of your nose brushed over the tips of his. You shuddered in anticipation as you kept your eyes on his lips.

"I’d give everything up just for you. Do anything just to prove myself to you. Worship the fucking ground you walk on and put the moon and stars up for you because you fucking deserve everything I could possibly give. Because you're beautiful, no, magnificent," his head tilted closer, his lips were now mere inches apart. You could feel his lips ghosting over yours, sending soft, butterfly kisses. "I'd let you destroy me. Let you take every last bit of me because I'd happily surrender to you. So please, let me be a good boy for you and show you how much I've craved you."

You couldn't wait any longer. Gathering all your courage, you closed the distance between the two of you, capturing his lips with your own. Eyes fluttering shut, you reveled in the sensation of his soft, silky skin against yours. You released a guttural moan at the feeling, your fingers tugging Wooyoung down against you by the base of his scalp. One hand kept its firm grip in his hair as the other squeezed around his neck.

Your senses were invaded as Wooyoung turned into putty with a soft moan as he kissed you like there's no tomorrow. His body was fully pressed against yours, both knees on either side of your hips and elbows were digging into your plush mattress. His soft moaning sounds turned into groans when he suddenly tilted his head to the side to press closer into the kiss. One soft hand ran up to your face to gently caress the cheek, and you felt your insides turning to mush at the soft touch. There was a part of you that always wanted Wooyoung, but the idea of your friendship meant the risk wasn't worth it. But now...

Wooyoung rolled onto his back, dragging you up with him as he wrapped his arms around your middle, hugging you tight and making you straddle his lap. The sound of a whine filled the air when he stopped to rest his forehead against yours, a shaky chuckle reverberated in between your connected lips. You sat back slightly, your fingers grasping the hems of your oversized shirt and pulling it over your head. Your skin heated under his wandering eyes. You pressed your hips down against Wooyoung and grinned when a sharp gasp broke the silence in the air and his hands grabbed at your ass, pressing your clothed cunt hard against his groin.

You moved forward and gave soft kitten licks to the plushness of Wooyoung's lips. "You're really gonna be my good boy?"

"Will you have me?" His whisper sent another spark to your lower half and you pressed yourself closer with another roll of your hips, smiling at his choked off grunt. He nipped at the flesh of your lower lip and you opened your mouth to his awaiting, warm tongue.

"Can you even handle a chubby girl like me?" You sucked on the slick, wet tongue with a soft moan that melted into a chuckle when he took that moment to grab your breasts in his soft hands, cupping and fondling your perky nipples.

"Baby girl, there is no one that I would rather worship," he chuckled as his hands explored your skin and body, setting your insides and soul on fire as you returned each of his touches and affections. Wooyoung switched positions once again so you're flat on your back, his hands brushing against the hem of your sweatpants. "May I have the pleasure of worshiping your body? Lick every inch of your gorgeous, voluptuous, plush body until my name is all your pretty lips can remember? Please, may I be good for you?"

"Yes, you may," you nodded, watching the smirk stretch across his swollen lips as he dragged the remaining clothing down the length of your legs, throwing them somewhere over his shoulders before running his hands up your body.

And then Wooyoung ate.

Oh how he ate you up like a starved man.

With his wicked hands and sinful tongue, you're sure this is your hell and your heaven. The man has made you feel ways that you're pretty sure should be illegal. Wooyoung is currently below, his tongue drawing pretty patterns and kitten licks between the seam of your soaked core.

"Fuck, Wooyoung. It feels so good," you couldn't keep your praise at a reasonable level when Wooyoung started to pick up the pace of his licks. The fingers from your left hand were fisting into his long hair, holding him in between your thick thighs. "How do I taste?"

"Sweetest damn thing in this entire world," Wooyoung responds when he looks up at you. His brown orbs were turned dark with lust. His wet lips were swollen and shining with your sweet slick. His black, longer hair was now completely falling and framing his flushed face. "Are you going to cum for me, baby girl? Squeeze these delicious thighs around my face."

He dived back to continue feasting on your sweetness with a soft hum vibrating over your pussy lips. You whimpered at the feeling of his tongue diving between the lips. With one hand he spread your dripping lips further with his fingers, showing the soft nub and dove in. You gripped tighter into his hair and buckled your hips. You cried out his name with a curse when you felt the pad of his index finger starting to rub light circles onto your throbbing clit. It sent shockwaves through your lower tummy and made your muscles contract, your pussy spasming against the warmth.

It took only a few more strokes against your clit with his skilled tongue for you to fall apart. A scream caught in the back of your throat as your climax washed over you. Your thighs instinctively squeezed together, smothering the man in between your thighs.

You looked down and caught Wooyoung smiling when his index finger continued to massage tight, small circles, helping you ride your high. A burst of pride rose through your chest at the sight, and you're pretty sure you wanted to keep this sight for the rest of your life, and possibly for forever. You're hooked and you knew you had fallen even harder.

As soon as the waves had slowly subsided, you uncrossed your thighs and pulled at him to move up, causing him to give a small chuckle as he shuffled to sit in between your hips.

"Someone is eager for more," Wooyoung teased.

"Oh shut the hell up and get to kissing me before I change my mind," you sat up as he moved towards your lips. As he sealed his soft lips on top of yours again, you took the time to push up his shirt and pushed him back. Wooyoung smiled around the kiss and bit your lower lip before sitting back a bit, hands still resting around your waist. He smirked as he helped take off the material and once his chest was bare, you were back on each other.

You were slightly surprised when you suddenly found yourself with your back hitting the soft mattress underneath your body. "Get naked, Wooyoung. I can't be the only one here."

"Be patient, sweetheart," he hushed and your fingers quickly reached for his pants and dragged them down his thighs. He moved off of you as you continued to work the fabric off the curve of his ass, tossing the clothes somewhere behind him. 

"Condom?" He whispers once he's fully naked and settles on his knees between the meaty skin of your thighs. He brushes back his hair and takes your body in once more. Wooyoung rested a strong hand against your hip and began rubbing tight circles against the skin.

"Don't need one," you pulled his neck down, arms wrapping around his neck in a hug. "I'm on birth control. I'm ready for you. I want you. Now fuck me, Jung Wooyoung."

"Who am I to deny a pretty thing like you what you want?" Wooyoung scooted closer, his soft hand traveled lower to push your thighs further open. His dick is aligned, pushing through your slick folds, grazing the bundle of nerves on your slit.

"Fuck, Wooyoung. Why are you teasing me right now?" You whimpered when the tip brushed against your entrance before pulling back again."Please hurry the fuck up and just stick it in me."

"What was that, baby girl?" Wooyoung asked.

"Fuck. Just fuck me, please. I need you," you whispered. Wooyoung grabbed your face and guided you into a harsh, sloppy kiss, smothering and squishing his lips into yours. At the same time, he pushes in his hips and pulls you against him. His cock fills and stretches your hole and you gasped against his mouth, trying to breathe and find any other noise to make in your state of bliss. "Holy, fucking fuck."

Wooyoung smirked along your lips and thrust his hips forward until he's fully seated. You moaned at the feel of his cock buried into you. He fit like a puzzle piece, like he was meant to be there and there alone. 

He felt perfect.

"Feels so fucking good, baby girl," Wooyoung grunts as his head fell into the crook of your neck. "Do you want it to be gentle? Do you want it to be rough? You gotta speak up or else I don't know."

"Right now? I just want you. Just move," you threaded a hand through his black hair and gave his hair a tug, causing him to growl. Wooyoung moved slowly, making sure his dick rubbed along each spongy, wet and throbbing spot in your walls. "Oh fuck. Right there."

"Goddamn, baby girl," Wooyoung half grumbles, half groans, into your neck. "Tell me how you're feeling. Better than what a toy can do?"

"Fuck you," you let out a soft whimper, your eyes closed tightly. "Yes, okay. Fuck. You feel so much better than a shitty toy. You're perfect. Everything about you is. Fuck. That spot. Fucking god, that spot. Don't stop please, oh holy fucking shit."

"Yeah?" Wooyoung brought his thumb to run smooth circles over your clit again, pressing his hand firmly over your navel. "Let me hear you, Y/N. Tell me I'm your good boy. Say my fucking name. That's all I ask."

"You have no idea, how many times I have dreamt this, wishing that you would notice how fucking whipped I am for you." Wooyoung slowed down a bit, fucking slow, deep and hard into your tight and wet core. The build-up is slowly beginning to fill the pit of your tummy. "Fuck, look at the way I slide inside you, Y/N. My dick was made to fill you up. Look how perfectly you are sucking me in."

"Fuck," a curse ripped from your mouth, a drawn-out moan followed close behind as his cock repeatedly thrusted into you. "You feel so good, Wooyoung."

Your hand flies down and grasps on to his toned biceps, his body hovering above yours. Your fingers dig into the skin. 

He picks up his pace, his thighs tensing at the strength in his powerful hips as he drives into you, his breathing turning heavy as he kisses the top of your nose. "Yes, keep your thighs up. Your body is gorgeous and the noises are driving me crazy. I could just spend the entire damn day fucking you and drinking every single last drop of your moans and cries. Fuck. Shit. Yeah, squeeze around me baby, that's fucking amazing."

Wooyoung rolls onto his back with a moan, pulling you up onto his lap as the head of his length presses snuggly into that sweet spot that causes your toes to curl. You lean back, legs spread as his soft, muscular legs support your weight while you balance. Your body shuddered, legs shaking while his hands took the opportunity to grasp at the cheeks of your ass.

Your breath hitched at the new angle that hit different spots in you. "Holy shit, Wooyoung."

You rose and fell and moved in sync together. Wooyoung helps move your body as if you weigh nothing, moaning when the head rubs against the inner part of your cunt. You slammed your hips down, over and over. You threw your head back and squealed at the amazing feeling, squeezing around his length that's buried deep.

"Keep bouncing baby. Fucking bounce on my cock. Come on baby, don't stop." Wooyoung groaned from below you, his grip on your ass tightened. His hand roams from the plump skin of your ass down the curves of your back. "Come for me, Y/N. You're gonna make a mess all over my dick, aren't you? Make me feel like I'm the luckiest motherfucker to make you cum over and over and over. Better than a fucking toy that's for sure."

"Shit, Wooyoung," One hand clamped around his knee while the other grabbed at his arm that was still squeezing your ass. "Cum in me, Wooyoung. Please. Cum in me."

"Hell yes, I'm close too, sweetheart," Wooyoung was picking you back up and bringing you back down in time with his upward thrusts. "Ride my cock. Ride me like your toy. Ride me till you've reached the point where you don't know how you still live without me. Use me like your own goddamn dildo."

You whimpered at his words and threw yourself forward, leaning your body against the hot, broad expanse of his chest and wrapped your arms around his head. "You're going to be my personal toy? Use you whenever, wherever?"

"Yes, oh fuck," Wooyoung's voice rose and pitched higher in an octave. "Babe, I'm gonna-"

"Give it to me. Fucking give it to me please." You muttered.

"Fuck, I love you," Wooyoung slammed in and the two of you came. You buried your face into his neck as his orgasm racked both of your bodies. He shot his hot, sticky load inside you, his cock was twitching against the tight walls as his body was quivering, tensed and curled around yours.

He nuzzles your neck with a breathy smile. Your thighs were trembling and your insides were twitching, and it feels like it's neverending. You moaned his name as another wave passed through, your walls fluttering around his spent dick. Your body went slack as soon as the contractions passed and Wooyoung pulled out, helping you down against the pillows beside him. The two of you just lay there, taking heavy breaths and not really speaking, just trying to regain composure.

You turned your head to see him smile. "I love you too, Wooyoung. Always."

"So the next time you decide to buy some fancy ass dildo, come straight for my dick, babe. Because, hell, a toy can't replace this." He waved his hand along his body with a shit-eating smirk and you laughed, pushing his body lightly and hugging his side.

"Shut up, Wooyoung. Oh my fucking gosh," you couldn't help the laughter that bubbles inside your chest. He laughs beside you and turns on his side, moving in closer, tucking your face into his chest. "Brat."

"But you love this brat," Wooyoung jokes and the laugh gets louder. "Don't forget, Y/N. Anytime and anywhere."

"Silly man," you mumbled and looked up at him and smiled softly. "Well then, don't mind me if I take you up on that offer again."

"This offer doesn't expire,” Wooyoung sneaks a soft kiss, his fingers threading through the messiness of your hair.

And you can only chuckle, before going in for another kiss.

A bad boy. You fell in love with a bratty bad boy. And there was nothing wrong with that.

Because Wooyoung is the perfect type of brat for you.

In life, and especially between the sheets.

[seokgyuu]

What could be worse than a valentine’s day alone? Exactly, a valentine’s day spent with your academic rival, Jeon Wonwoo, stuck in the home eco’s kitchen because you were both sentenced to take over the cookie baking for this season’s day of love. 

pairing: wonwoo x fem!reader

genre: academic rivals to lovers, smut, heart wrenching and tooth rotting fluff (wonwoo is down bad bad)

warnings: sexual content, smut warnings under cut! wonwoo is a little bit mean? but like not too mean? she’s also kinda mean. but they are in love! promise.

word count: 5k

a/n: hi everyone!! this is part of the cupids collab hosted by the wonderful @wongyuseokie for @svthub! this work is dedicated to the wonderful, the lovely, the hilarious @highvern! i hope you like it, babes!! sending you loads of love this valentine's day and thousands of kisses, mwah! i had loads of fun writing this and am happy to be a part of this collab, hehe. also thank you @ourdawnishotterthanourday for betaing, ily! <3

“I’m giving you one chance to get out of here,” you say, holding open the door. Wonwoo doesn’t move.  “Who says I’m the one who has to go? You’re obviously the worse baker.”  Oh, he is truly playing with you right now. You let the door fall shut, eyes squeezed as you stare at him. “Fine. Then it’ll be me and you, buddy.” “I guess so,” he pauses, eyebrow raising, “and I’m not your buddy.”

smut warnings: minimal degradation (usage of the word “slut”), praising, pet names (princess, sweetheart, darling, pretty girl) oral (f. receiving), begging, softdom!wonwoo, unprotected sex (you know the drill - wrap it before you tap it, folks!), creampie (get it… cream…pie? cookies & cre- ok i’m sorry).

There are approximately seven thousand three hundred and twenty eight places you would rather be than here. 

Nothing has helped you get out of this unfortunate situation. No pleading, no begging, not even wanting to send Seungkwan in your stead. Professor Yoon had been adamant in his decision to send you and him to this god forsaken home eco kitchen to bake the badge of cookies for the Valentine’s day sale. 

“It’s not even a real holiday!” you had whined to Seungkwan, “if it were, we wouldn’t even be at class in the first place!” 

All your best friend did was rub your back and tell you it was all gonna be fine, all while writing a text to Vernon on his phone in his other hand. He was used to your antics when it came to Jeon Wonwoo. Everyone was, at this point. Both of you had not made it hard to get used to - just by the amount of times you had decided to fight and dive right into rivalry when there was no reason to. Perhaps, he thought, it wasn’t even a bad idea to put you two in one room together for several hours with no one else. It could give you time to talk out your differences. Call for a truce. Screw the anger out of each other. Anything that would make Seungkwan’s life easier. 

That day comes sooner than you wanted it to, and while your hand lays on the handle of the car door, you feel the uneasiness inside you raise. 

“I can’t do this, Seungkwan. One of us is gonna end up dead.”

“Yeah, my money’s on Wonwoo. Please don’t disappoint me.” Seungkwan hums back, hands on the steering wheel and his eyebrows raised. You turn around, your mouth slightly agape before scoffing and opening the door.

“Pick me up at 4?” you ask and your best friend nods, waving at you once the door is closed. He truly hopes neither of you ends up dead (but if push comes to shove, obviously Wonwoo because then Vernon would owe him 5 bucks). 

Professor Yoon had told you that all necessities would be at the university and that you wouldn’t have to bring anything except for a good mood, something you didn’t dare to say was impossible in the given situation. 

You aren’t stupid (Wonwoo would beg to differ), you are well aware that your professor is trying to end whatever war you and Wonwoo have going on by pairing you up for this. And while you get the sentiment and might even appreciate it a little - you’re more than sure that nothing will ever come out of this - Wonwoo and you despise each other. It has been like this since your first semester and it most definitely wasn’t going to change over something as trivial as baking cookies together. 

The home eco’s kitchen is in the basement of the economics building and you are happy to notice you’re the first to arrive. Smiling to yourself, you fish the key to the room out of your bag and unlock the door, walking in and turning on the lights. 

The kitchen is spacious and modern, everything is made out of gray steel, with a few dark wood accents on the cupboards. You spot the boxes with ingredients on the island, and place your bag next to it before unpacking the things provided for you and Wonwoo. It becomes your mission to arrange the cookbook with the recipe in the center of the right side of the island, gathering all the needed ingredients around it in the order you would need it. Then, you search the cupboards for a big bowl, wooden spoon and a mixer. 

You have gathered almost everything except for the mixer, spotting it in one of the higher cupboards you most definitely can’t reach without some sort of help. Biting down on your lip and gnawing on it, you look around the room, coming up empty. There are chairs in the room next to the kitchen, but you don’t have the key for it. With a sigh, you stretch yourself as much as you possibly can, hand reaching for the kitchen gadget - with no luck. Just when you’re about to climb on top of the counter, you feel something shift behind you, a body suddenly pressed against yours and an arm reaching up to grab the mixer for you without any trouble at all. 

Wonwoo. Your body stiffens at his touch and only relaxes once he backs off, putting the mixer down next to the other stuff. Immediately you turn around, your eyes glaring at him.

“Someone decided to show up, after all.” You spit at him and he rolls his eyes. 

“I was forced, if you must know.” He says not even looking at you. His eyes are focused on the ingredients on the counter, his lips slowly drawing into a smug smile.

“Control freak much?” 

Your head burns and you scoff, walking over to the door and feeling his eyes on you as you move. 

“I’m giving you one chance to get out of here,” you say, holding open the door. Wonwoo doesn’t move. 

“Who says I’m the one who has to go? You’re obviously the worse baker.” 

Oh, he is truly playing with you right now. You let the door fall shut, eyes squeezed as you stare at him.

“Fine. Then it’ll be me and you, buddy.”

“I guess so,” he pauses, eyebrow raising, “and I’m not your buddy.”

For the most part the two of you are quiet. Mainly because you don’t have anything to say to each other. You split the ingredients evenly (either one of you starting with their own batch since there is a whole lot of cookies to bake) and begin working on opposite ends of the kitchen. You get through the first batch without so much as exchanging looks. You do your thing and he does his. Only, when you get the first batch out, you ask him to hand you the oven mittens, which he does without any fuss. You’re surprised but don’t say it. 

It’s when the both of you start to work on your second batches that things… change.

You hate to admit the tension in the room. In fact, you’ve been hating it since the first day you’ve met him. It’s a shame he’s so hot when he’s the absolute bane of your existence. Your friends (mainly Seungkwan, really) tease you about your obvious attraction to the man you call your archnemesis every chance they get, causing you to flip them off, or scoff, or just roll your eyes at how extremely wrong they are. If you could change it, you would! Finding him attractive whilst hating him truly is exhausting. 

Slowly, you let yourself turn around in hopes he doesn’t notice. Thankfully, he is entirely focused on sprinkling chocolate chips into the cookies - white chocolate chips. You let out a gasp and your wooden spoon falls onto the top of the counter you’re working on.

“That’s cheating!” You shout, pointing at the package of sweets that he so obviously brought himself. What a jerk!

Not even looking at you, Wonwoo chuckles at your words, placing the chocolate chips next to him and wiping his hands on the apron he had put on earlier. Then, he turns to you, hip leaning against the counter, arms crossed and his eyebrows raised as he smirks like the douchebag you know he is.

“Cheating, yeah?” He repeats, licking his lips, “not sure it counts as cheating when it was clear from the beginning I would make better cookies, sweetheart.”

His condescending way of talking to you has always succeeded in making your blood boil, just like right now. You scoff, shaking your head and cleaning your own hands with a kitchen towel to your left.

“You know, considering these are for the day of love it is quite ironic Professor Yoon paired me with you, the person I hate the most.” You present Wonwoo with a honey dripping smile that couldn’t be more fake. Wonwoo doesn’t waver though. He just continues to smirk, his eyebrows shooting up even more, and before you know it he starts walking towards you, a click of his tongue almost making you flinch.

“See, love and hate are like siblings. While on the surface they couldn’t be more different, in their core they are irritatingly similar,” his voice is deep and his eyes are right there on yours and somehow you feel like he has taken away your ability to breathe. What the hell is he doing?

“You were always fascinating to me, darling. Always so sure of your opinion, never wavering. That first day we met, do you remember? How you were on my ass for the rest of the day because Professor Cha liked my answer better than yours?”

“He did not!” You shoot back, surprised by your own whiny tone. Looking at Wonwoo’s face, the defined jawline and cheekbones, the round specs on top of his nose and the brown soft curls falling into his forehead, you immediately regret speaking up at all. There is something in his eyes now, something you have never seen before  - at least not on him. Something inside of him shifted, like a switch that had been flipped, and the way he looks at you makes all of your skin erupt in goosebumps. 

“Ah, so I imagined things?” Wonwoo only so much as whispers, his large frame coming even closer, “Are you saying I’m a liar, pretty girl?”

Pretty girl. What the fuck? Your eyes widen and you feel your throat closing up. Absolutely not, you could not freeze right now! He was testing you, seeing how far he could go before you actually fell for whatever he was trying to do. Gathering all your confidence, you bring your hands up to place them on his chest and softly push him away. It gives you extreme satisfaction when you see the surprise on his face.

“And if I am? What are you going to do about it, Wonwoo?” Your smile turns smug and the little vein on Wonwoo’s forehead pops out just slightly. About to retrieve your arms, you are met with his hands around your wrists and his body even closer to yours. 

To say he catches you by surprise would be an understatement. Your lower back is pressed against the counter, your hands in his grip and your lungs missing the necessary air to not get dizzy. Why does he smell so good? You catch yourself thinking thoughts you normally would try to suppress at any given time - especially when Wonwoo is right in front of you. This time, though, there is no escaping. Not with him so close, not with him staring right into your soul.

“I have learned one thing over the years we’ve known each other, Y/N,” he breathes, eyes not leaving your face, “you can be a real fucking brat.”

The gasp you want to let out gets stuck in your throat. Instead, something like a choke comes out, something that makes Wonwoo smirk and your legs weak.

“You really think you’re sly. Do you honestly believe I don’t know how attractive you find me? How you need to look away everytime I come in wearing tighter shirts or pants that hang low enough to see the waistband of my underwear? You always try to act like you hate me and, you know what, maybe you do, but what I said earlier isn’t wrong, darling, love and hate are like yin and yang - they can’t exist without the other.”

He has your wrists in a strong grip and his lower body is now pressed against yours, something you never realized you craved. Feeling his growing erection against you, knowing he is turned on by you, by the situation, you feel like your head is about to explode. 

“So, what if I tell you that maybe I don’t actually hate you, but I actually find you attractive as well? What if I tell you nine out of ten times I want to shut your annoying mouth up by shoving my cock right down your tight throat? Or how whenever you bend over your desk to tell someone something you, of course, know better than them, I want to take you just like that and make everyone see just how much of a desperate pretty slut you actually are?”

You’re done for. With every word he’s saying, you can feel yourself actually becoming what he says you are. Desperate. The heat between your legs has turned into liquid in your panties, has turned into your heart beating at triple speed. 

“Y-You can’t just say that!” You stutter, knowing full well he will just laugh at you. And he does. He laughs and he throws his head back and then he looks at you again, his eyes glinting with want that only gets emphasized by the hard cock pressing against you. 

“Oh, sweet, sweet baby. Of course, I can,” he hums, finally letting go of one of your wrists to carefully tug a strand of hair behind your ear, “you’re so beautiful, especially when you’re flustered.” 

He must be playing with you. It has to be one of his games. He wants you to give in, wants you to fall for this only to hold it over your head for the rest of your college life. His mixture of dominance and sweetness is about to give you whiplash, especially when he begins to caress your cheek and leans down, his breath hitting your cheek. 

“We need to finish those cookies, Wonwoo.” The words are whispered and almost inaudible, but he hears you and he smiles.

“We’re alone in this basement, sweetheart. We’ve got all day to finish those cookies.” His hand wanders down, finding its place on your hip. You shiver slightly, your gaze flickering between his eyes and his lips and when his nose bumps against yours, something tells you that maybe he is serious. 

When he kisses you, you figure that something is correct. What’s supposed to start soft turns into something deep, and hot, and uncontrolled, right off the bat. Kissing Wonwoo feels like the only thing you had ever missed out on in life and now you finally got the chance to take what belongs to you. His lips are soft and his tongue is warm, pressing against yours and entangling it in a dance of fire. Your hands are in his hair and his are on your hips and you’re sitting on top of the counter with all of your ingredients pushed to the side, your wooden spoon falling to the floor when Wonwoo lifts you up. 

As if on instinct, your legs wrap around him and you moan against his lips when his hands move up, groping your breasts through your shirt. He licks into your mouth, your fingers digging into his nape, nails dragging along his skin. 

If you could see into Wonwoo’s brain you might have gotten scared. Not because he’s thinking actual scary thoughts but because of how many times he has imagined this. You’re always there, somewhere in his brain, your smile, your eyes, your laugh. And when he’s alone and can’t sleep you’re there too, but this time it’s how he thinks you’d sound when he’s inside of you, when he sucks on your neck and squeezes your tits. There hasn’t been a day since he met you that he hadn’t thought about you. 

It’s a shame you immediately called him out to be your academic rival on that day because all Wonwoo wanted to do back then was to make you his girlfriend, basically falling in love with you at first sight. As cliché as it sounds, it’s even more cliché considering he just played along with you, acting like he hated you, riling you up during class in ways he would rather switch for moments like this one right now. 

Never had he imagined he’d get you alone, especially considering how good you are at avoiding him. But when Professor Yoon had asked him to bake the cookies for the Valentine’s day sale - he couldn’t help but suggest you as his partner. Hours would be spent together in a kitchen, hours you had to spend with him. 

He loves how right he was. How right he was about you giving in, about you finding him hot, about you wanting him. He loves the sounds you make when he begins kissing down your neck and when his hand wanders under your shirt and shoves away your bra to touch the breasts he had been dreaming about. He sucks marks onto your neck and feels himself grow harder with every passing second. There is nowhere on this earth he’d rather be than right here, between your legs. 

“Been dying to do this, you know?” He mumbles against your neck, licking up to your earlobe and twitching in his pants when he feels you shivering under his touch.

“R-Really?” You whimper back and Wonwoo nods, both hands moving to your cheeks, lips back on yours in a heated, passionate kiss. He thinks that nothing will ever feel as good as kissing you. 

“Yeah, baby, wanted to kiss you forever, fuck,” he moans when your fingers move underneath his shirt, when you touch his bare skin and all of him begins to burn.

“Wanted to touch you, taste you.” His words echo in your mind and you open your eyes, a horny daze in them that makes Wonwoo question his sanity. He moves down now, kissing your neck again and shoving your shirt up to kiss your stomach and breasts over your bra, nimble fingers opening the apron you had laced around your hips earlier. 

“Can I taste you, pretty girl?” He asks then and you think you nod, at least you want to nod, but your head is clouded and you feel like you’re about to pass out. When he moves to get the apron off of you, focussing on opening your pants next, you figure you did in the end. 

Having you half naked in front of him makes Wonwoo feel like he has reached the gates of heaven. Your pants are on the floor and your chest is heaving, eyes glossy as you watch Wonwoo move to the floor, his tall body still reaching the top of the counter when he kneels in front of you. He moves his arms, wrapping them around your thighs and pulling you closer, his nose tapping against your sensitive core the next second. With a gasp, your hands reach for his head of hair, grounding yourself in it as you stare down at the way he eyes your pussy as if he had never seen anything more delicious in his life. 

When he moves your panties to the side, his finger softly gliding over your folds, you feel yourself shiver once more. You let out another whimper, biting down on your lip that feels hot and a little bruised after the way Wonwoo had kissed you. 

“God, I can’t even tell you how many nights I’ve dreamt of this moment.” He kisses the inside of your thighs, making you moan quietly, fingers coating themselves in your juices, ready to please you. 

Watching him is messing with your head in the best way possible. The way he looks at you, so full of endearment and adoration. How he touches you as if you’d break if he touched you too vehemently. He lets his tongue glide over your skin, moving until it reaches your dripping cunt, licking over your lips, tasting you for the first time. The moan he lets out has you digging your nails into his scalp, mouth dropped as you continue to stare down, continue to watch Wonwoo, your archnemesis, begin to devour your pussy like a Michelin star dish. 

He starts off slow, licking over your folds, not touching your clit even once. If he died right now, he’d be content. Tasting you, hearing your sounds when you’re aroused, him being the cause of it - it’s almost all of his dreams coming true. His fingers move, one of them circling your entrance, your whines growing louder by the second. You want his fingers inside of you, you need them inside of you. Wiggling your hips against him, Wonwoo chuckles at your antics and finally moves his finger, inch by inch sinking into your needy hole, your eyes squeezing shut as you clench around him. 

“So, so eager, princess,” he mumbles against your pussy, another breathy laugh causing you to thrust forward, his finger now completely inside of you. And, fuck, do you feel wonderful. So much better than anything Wonwoo had experienced before, better than anything he could have imagined. Perhaps, he figures, it’s because it’s you. 

Next thing you know, Wonwoo’s lips are around your clit, sucking it into his mouth, tongue flicking against it and leaving you to moan his name time and time again. Your hips move against him and he lets you, his cock straining against his pants in desperate need for attention. But not yet, he isn’t done with you. First, you’d have to come undone on his tongue and his fingers, first you had to scream his name as you experienced complete and utter satisfaction. Wonwoo does everything in his power for that to happen. He adds another finger and fucks you open, his long fingers meeting your sweet spot with every thrust as if he had studied your body for hundreds of hours. His tongue does the work of a god, his lips kiss you like you had never known you needed to be kissed, especially down there. 

“D-Don’t stop! Oh, fuck, Wonwoo!” You cry out, your head thrown back as you focus on nothing but your pleasure, on how he feels on your pussy, how it all is too much and yet not enough. You think about what’s to come, about how he will fuck you next, will sink into you with his cock, will make you feel like you’re the most precious woman on this planet. Even more than he already does. Your high is nearing, it’s so close you can feel it right there in front of you, that tight knot in your stomach about to break free and give you one of the most intense orgasms of your life. 

“Cum for me, baby. Fuck, I want you to cum on my tongue.” Wonwoo’s words are like magic, like a spell that he puts on you. A lewd whine escapes your throat and you do as he wishes, cumming all over his tongue and fingers, your juices drenching his face. He lets you ride out your orgasm on his face, anticipation filling him when he finally parts from you. 

Immediately, you pull down to kiss him when he stands. Tasting yourself on his lips with your hands opening his apron and getting it off his tall frame with his help, you can’t wait to get even closer to him. You slip out of your panties with his lips steadily on yours, a faint sound in your ears when they hit the floor.

“Need you so bad, Wonwoo, please hurry,” you cry out and he laughs, kissing your neck and your cheek, his hands opening his belt, zipper and button, shoving his pants down only for you to gasp at the sheer size of his bulge. He grins, hands back on your face to make sure you’re looking at him.

“Naughty, aren’t you? My perfect, pretty slut,” he kisses your lips again and your eyes roll back, your pussy throbbing in want. And obviously he knows how much you want him - he wants you just the same. As he continues to kiss you, he moves to pull his briefs down, his hard erection springing free, angry tip red and smeared with pre, oh-so ready to sink into your warm embrace. You part from him, eyes now setting on his cock, your mouth watering at the sight. 

“Fuck, you’re big,” you say, swallowing down the saliva pooling in your mouth. Wonwoo only grins wider, his big hands finding purchase on your hips as he leans down again. 

“Beg a little for it, baby, and you might get it.” You shiver and bite down on your lip, your hands wandering over his still clothed torso and down to his cock, slowly wrapping your hand around it.

“Please, Wonwoo, please fuck me…,” is your whispered plead, and the man standing in between your legs groans against your neck, sucking yet another mark into your delicate skin before nodding and grabbing his cock out of your hand, lining it up perfectly with your entrance and slowly sinking in.

His forehead is leaned against yours when he bottoms out and his hands caress your head, coming to a stop on your nape. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he mumbles, kissing the tip of your nose and you smile, giving the tip of his nose a kiss back. Then, he parts from you and the look in his eyes changes from soft to dark. He does his first thrust, catching you off guard, a loud moan escaping you. Your hands grab onto his shoulders as he continues his thrusts, fucking you deep and hard, his eyes focused on your face that contours in absolute bliss. When he said you’re beautiful, he meant it. 

He is holding onto your hips again, pulling you as close to him as he can, his hips chasing yours, his cock in the deepest bits of your pussy, your gummy walls squeezing him for his pleasure. There is nothing you can do besides begging him to go faster, begging him to not ever stop and crying his name when he leans down to suck on your hard nipple over your shirt. 

“Wonwoo! Fuck!” You clench over and over again, stars dancing in front of your eyes accompanied by beautiful lights that slowly but surely turn into fireworks. With every thrust of his hips, you feel yourself coming closer to the edge again. You want him to fill you, want him to claim you as his, make you feel full of him and only him. Nails are digging into his shoulders, your head falling back against the kitchen cabinet, his groans and the beautiful sound of your name coming out of his mouth chasing you off the cliff and into the warm waters of yet another intense orgasm. 

“Don’t stop, don’t fucking stop, oh- Wonwoo!” It’s done, you are done, your climax hitting you hard and making you gush all over his length that is still so deeply buried inside your sensitive cunt. Wonwoo moans, feeling your pussy clench around him, squeeze him, beg him to cum, to decorate you in his shades of white. And he wants to, god, there is nothing he had ever wanted more. His breathing becomes labored and he leans forward, engulfing you in yet another heated kiss, one arm wrapped around you, the other letting its hand rest on your cheek, thumb caressing your chin as his tongue flicks against yours over and over, mixed with his breathless moans. 

When you squeeze him the next time, he erupts. He moans your name, hips becoming frantic as he shoots his load into you, spurts of white and hot cum filling your spent pussy, your and his combined releases dripping down your thighs even as he fucks his cum so, so deep into you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he pants against your mouth, continuing to kiss you right after, riding out his orgasm and only stopping when you’re both completely out of breath. 

It’s silent for a few moments, the only thing audible your almost synchronized breathing. Your hands are still on his shoulders, his hands are still on your waist and your cheek. His face is buried in the crook of your neck and he softly kisses your sweaty skin, nothing but pure happiness running through him at this point. He softly caresses your face as he leans back again, his eyes searching for yours. 

“Y/N,” he then breathes, a small and maybe even shy smile playing on his lips.

“Wonwoo,” you sigh back, pulling him into a hug that he accepts with a laugh, both his arms now fully wrapped around your body. He’s still inside of you and only leaves you when you part from the hug, more of his release now dripping out of your core. He doesn’t ask whether you’re on birth control because for all he cares he would love to have you pregnant with his child. The thought alone makes his head spin. 

“Well,” he begins, a smug smile on his face as he leans down to pick up your panties, “that definitely gives ‘cookies and cream’ a different meaning.” 

You stare at him, slightly bewildered, for around three seconds before you burst into laughter, grabbing your underwear from him and jumping back onto your shaky feet. “You’re horrible,” you say and shake your head and Wonwoo’s smile grows even wider.

“Maybe. But I promise you, sweetheart, I’ll never ever be horrible to you again.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that, Mr. Know-It-All,” you smile and give his cheek a peck that he reacts to by turning bright red. 

It is in that exact moment you realize Wonwoo was never your archnemesis. Nor has he ever been as much of an ass as you had made him out to be. Jeon Wonwoo is nothing but a loser who’s been in love with you since the very first day you met him, and perhaps you had always known. Perhaps you finally let yourself realize right now, the moment after he had cum inside of you and still blushes like a little kid when you kiss his cheek, that the only reason you had chosen him to be your rival was to run away from how much you knew you’d fall for him if you didn’t. 

“Come on, let’s do what we actually came here for.”

And for the rest of the day you and Wonwoo bake the cookies for the sale and talk about what your plans are for Valentine’s. To no surprise those plans immediately involve hanging out together. Maybe, you think, to give ‘cookies and cream’ that new meaning over and over again. 

[palmettoshenanigans]

Is this an unpopular opinion? Is this a hot take??? I don't know if it is but I'm going to say it anyway,

I've read several AU!AFTG fics where writers try to mimic Neil's cut throat tongue lashings. They try to create their own "You know, I get it moment" whether with existing characters or OCs or whatever

Rarely do they pull it off. In fact, most miss the mark by a mile.

And it's not because they're bad at writing insults, they aren't. They can craft insults just like the rest of us, with varying degrees of success and scathing derogatory language. It's that the insults they use are generally applicable to most people and get their punch by being rife with curse words.

That's not how Neil does it.

Neil's insults are bespoke!!! (A bespoke suit is one where fabric isn't even cut until we know your exact measurements, this suit is for you, so let me write down every tidbit of relevant information about you and your body before I even start picking out thread)

Neil basically psychoanalyzed someone, noticed all their strengths, weaknesses, fears, hopes and dreams, complexes and traumas that he could get his little hands on, and honed the perfect sentence to bypass all their surface layer feelings and find their Inner Child like a fucking sniper and shot that crying baby in the forehead

That's why it hurts!!! Neil wouldn't call some one ugly as an insult even though that's an insult that has a wide AOE - it'll hit lots of folks. Neil would only call some ugly if it would strike home at their inner most traumatic childhood issues - Neil would call you ugly if he knew your mother called you ugly since birth and told you your only chance at earning love is by becoming hot and your dad told you you were so unskilled you couldn't even make a supermodel pretty if you tried giving them a makeover cus you're just that useless at making change. Yeah, Neil would call you ugly at that point.

Kevin didn't try to strangle Neil cus he called him a slur for disabled people, it pissed him off but it didn't really strike a nerve.

Kevin tried to strangle Neil cus he called him a "deadweight has been" and that struck all his nerves.

If you wanna write your own "You know, I get it" you can't just be insulting. You gotta be traumatizing. You can't just be mean to an adult being an asshole. You gotta be mean to a little kid who's already crying.

Only a couple of fic writers have pulled it off as far as I've read.

[luxurychristmaspudding]

Pickup Truck

summary: frankie hates your boyfriend. in fact, everybody does. but he’s willing to give him a chance. you’re his best friend, after all. until frankie discovers something he can never forgive.

pairing: frankie morales x f!reader

ratings/warnings: 18+. MDNI. this fic contains allusions to, but no descriptions of, domestic abuse. please do not proceed if you know this will upset you.

frankie's pov. no lady and no baby for our boy. drinking, violence (against pos bf), angst, lots of hurt, allusions to dv. comfort, fluff. frankie to the rescue. unprotected p in v (wrap it irl!). oral, f receiving. creampie. bad spanish (again). kings of leon references. happy ending, of course.

wc: 9.8k

an: whew, this was an emotional one to write. but i hope a good love comes to all of you in time, no matter where you are at the moment. and if you already have it, may it always keep you safe. lovely divider from @saradika.

Frankie really doesn’t like your boyfriend.

Scratch that. Nobody does.

Nobody really knows where you found him, either. A sweet, smart girl like you, moved back to your small town from your big city life, and it looks like you picked up the very first guy who sidled up to you in a grimy bar.

Which, if you’re really honest, is exactly what happened. Because he was nice at first. Real nice. He was charming and sweet and interested - he bought you drinks all night and didn’t push to come in when he walked you home. You went for dinner a few times, and sure, he could be a little rude to the waitstaff, but it was only because he was so focused on you. He bought you flowers and took you for rides, and sure, sometimes he’d come home far too drunk after seeing his friends and get a little too close, a little too loud, but he always apologised.

And sure, he sometimes made you cry, but he always made it up to you. Sweet promises, small gifts. And he'd never laid a finger on you.

Not until last week, anyway.

You don’t know what to do. You don’t know who to turn to. The thought of it makes you so sick you have to lock yourself in the bathroom at work. How did this happen? How did it turn so sour?

And how do you get out?

Walk you home to see

Where you're livin' around

And I know this place

Frankie walks you home from the bonfire. He always does.

It’s his favourite moment of the night.

He gets to have you all to himself. Gets to watch your cheeks cool in the night air, watch as the blush from the heat of the fire subsides. Your giddy, wide eyes, your tipsy babbling about stories which had been swapped over the flames, picking out particularly scandalous details for you two to giggle about before doubling over into breathless laughter over something Benny had said. 

He likes to hold your elbow, your hand, as you catch him in your amusement, gripping onto his bicep. He loves to lose himself in this little pocket of time with you.

He loves the sparkle of the stars, the glow of the streetlights as they light your features.

Frankie loves you.

And he’s so glad you’ve moved back from your life in the big city to come and be around your real friends again. So glad that you’ve all found your way back to each other. Tonight has left him with such a mellow tingle in his bones that he finds he can’t stop smiling at you, looking at you, on your walk home.

Bonfire nights have always been your monthly hangout, a time when you can be sure you’ll get the whole gang together. There used to be more of you through highschool, and still a fair few during college. It dipped when the boys joined the forces, when people moved further east and further north. But eventually Frankie, Benny, Santi, and Will had come back. Jessa, your other best friend, had returned too. A few others coming and going - Lily, Marcus, Maggie - also back and forth from their new homes to their old ones. And then eventually folk had just… settled. 

Frankie felt like he was one of the last, like he was maybe the one finding it the hardest, retired to a life of civvy duties. Unable to hold down a girlfriend, struggling to stick at a job, sofa surfing around friends’ places. He was still flying whenever he could, but then this coke allegation happened, and it was like the world was finally swept from under him. 

You were the first person he had called, the first person to talk him down from his panic, that debilitating squeeze around his heart when he thought about the future. The first person who made him feel like it would be okay.

So of course his joy when you had come back had been immeasurable. Maybe this time, he’d thought.

And then you’d met Tanner.

He’s pulled from his thoughts as you drag your hand out of his, skipping a little further up the dark street until you reach a corner. Frankie watches as you spin on the spot in the quiet neighbourhood, gesturing down the pathway before you. 

‘This is me.’ You say.

But you don’t turn to keep walking. You watch him, a small, excited smile on your lips. Like you’re waiting for him to work it out. 

Frankie drags his eyes from you, away from thoughts of your new boyfriend, to look up and down the street you’ve led him to, and for a second he is pulled beneath the ebbing flow of memory, towed with the riptide of things forgotten. 

This is his grandmother’s street. Was his grandmother’s street.

The cracked concrete, the peeling paint of the porches. The weeds, the flowers, the smell.

He breathes your name like you’re the only thing tethering him to the now.

Breathes your name through the bright, sunny flashes of his childhood. His mama bringing him here with his brother, his papa swinging him by his legs in the flower-riddled front garden. Cartoons in the ripe heat of the afternoons, him and his cousins stuffing their faces with Guagitas and Frugele until they’d made themselves sick while the younger siblings napped in the sunbeams of the bedroom next door. Cycling over on his bike after school to sit at her kitchen table to do his homework, letting her fuss over him - his height, his friends, his grades, girls -

A skinnier, younger Frankie stopping by his abuela’s house with you to pick up her up for his nineteenth birthday party, along with her homemade tamales, her chiles rellenos, and specially made pumpkin sopaipillas for later on. The way you had chatted to her, natural, easy going, how you had made her laugh, her eyes sparkle. How, when you had taken some of the plates to the car, his abuela had pinched his cheek. I like her, she’d said, Será tuya algún día, mm, mijo? And Frankie had flushed bright red, batting her arms away as she chuckled at him. He had hidden in the back bedroom when you came in from outside, and listened a little longer to your conversation as he waited for the heat of his face to die down. When he reemerged, you had helped his grandmother into her shoes, her cardigan, and kept ahold of her arm until she got into Frankie’s beat up old car. At the end of the night, his abuela had kissed both your cheeks several times, rocked you back and forth in a hug, and clapped her hands as she said how she looked forward to seeing you again.

When you came home from college every summer, you’d have tea with her in her garden. She always asked Frankie about you, about how you are doing. When he told her you were coming home, she’d been so excited. Quizás este sea el momento? She’d said to him, squeezing his hand. He’d smiled, his heart quietly full of hope. Tal vez, abuela, he’d said.

When he called you two weeks later, his voice weak from crying, to tell you that she’d passed, you had been heartbroken. And it seemed like her wish, the red thread she’d seen between the two of you, had been snipped, too.

Pour yourself on me

And you know I'm the one

That you won't forget

Frankie likes to listen to you talk, because he’s never much been one for talking. 

He supposes you just bring it out of him, though. Because here on this street, in the moonlight, he tells you more about his grandmother. You spend hours walking up and down the pavement as he recounts every story he can remember; him and his brother, his parents, aunts and uncles, cousins. Birthdays, weddings, funerals. The street comes alive with the ghosts of people, the spectres of feelings. You and Frankie talk of growing up. Of falling in love. Of each other. 

Your small, well-loved house is half way down the street, four up from his abuela’s. It does something strange to his heart to have two of his favourite people, who loved each other in their own ways, so close but so far away. 

Your fingers hold his wrist as he shows you a scar on his palm from eating shit on his bike when he was eight, and when he looks up, your eyes are shining under the streetlights. There is a glint of moon in your teeth, and a shocking want so clear on your face, but when he meets your eye there is suddenly hesitation, a realisation, a shuttering. Frankie stops his story. There is a moment, and then it slips away like sand.

You shiver, chilled all of a sudden, and wrap your arms around yourself. Frankie tries not to look too hard at the goose bumps blossoming on your bare skin, tries to fight off the urge to kiss the little raises until you’re warm again under his touch.

‘Cold?’ he asks, and you smile back up at him. God, his heart.

‘As a hole,’ you giggle, and he feels himself smile goofily back at you. ‘We gotta warm up.’ You say, and then freeze.

It takes Frankie a little while longer to hear the inadvertent invitation in your words.

Boyfriend. Boyfriend.

You both stand on the porch, frozen, like some great frost has swept over the land. If Frankie squints, he can imagine the glitter of your eyeshadow, now fallen, dusted on your cheeks, is a collective of tiny constellations of ice. 

Your body is wracked with a shiver again, but when Frankie looks you in the eye, you’re burning up from the inside. He swallows.

If he could only make the steps towards you. If he could only will his heavy feet to move, if he could summon his nerves to do exactly what his brain says, he would already be in front of you. He would have your face in his hands, be able to look into your eyes to see that deep, hidden want again, and kiss you. Again and again and again, and he wouldn’t stop, because things like that shitty boyfriend of yours wouldn’t matter anymore.

No. The whole world would be glitter and stars and constellations of ice crystals.

And then you blink, smile softly, and wish him a goodnight.

When he can finally lift his foot to move, your door is already closed.

And in your denim eyes

I see that something's awry

And I see you’re weak

You don’t see Frankie for a while after that, always finding a way to brush off his attempts to hang out. 

At first he doesn’t worry too much about it. You’ve just moved back - you have a new job, a new place, new friends to get to know. Tanner. 

Frankie finds other things to do. He gets business cards made up for the flying school he’ll be setting up next month. He pilots people across the state, sometimes across the country. He sees the boys for drinks, even sees Jessa for a coffee. He starts to worry when they say their texts have gone mostly unanswered, and they haven’t seen you either.

It must be why he turns up on your front step one day, a six pack in hand. 

You open the door on the second ring of the doorbell, and Frankie finds himself rendered speechless. You look… different.

Tired and wary, a little thinner. And when he gets you chatting, you say you haven’t really been anywhere, done anything. You’ve been settling in, getting used to it. You have two beers each, but you seem on edge, like you’re waiting for a knock on the door. And then Frankie asks about Tanner, and your eyes linger on the entryway a little longer.

‘Yeah,’ you say, ‘He’s okay.’

Frankie’s jaw twitches, his stomach clenching uncomfortably.

‘Just okay?’ He asks. 

Because you should be excited. You should be gushing and giddy and falling in love. But you’re not.

‘Yeah,’ you shrug. ‘He’s good.’

There’s something in your eyes. Something which shrinks away, skitters back. Something drained, something sapped of life, of energy. Hurt, maybe. Fear, perhaps.

When Frankie thinks back now, he knows he should have pressed you harder. Maybe should have taken you to his, made you talk a little more for a little longer. Away from Tanner, the threat of his presence. But he didn’t. He didn’t.

And he hates himself for it.

When he comes around

I see you're fixin' to shine

And my face won't speak

When Frankie next sees you, you’ve had a hair cut, and there are deep, dark bags under your eyes. Both of these things worry him equally. 

Your beautiful hair that you’d been growing out since you were young, hair that you swore you’d never cut shorter than it was in seventh grade, when your mum had to chop it into a bob after you got gum caught in it. And here it is now, much shorter. 

Jessa says she likes it, and you give her a watery smile, a weak thank you. She asks where you had it done, when. She asks if you like it, and you shrug. You say you’re trying something new. You say Tanner likes it.

Over your shoulder, Frankie exchanges a look with Santi.

You’re quiet the whole time you're at the bar. Far too quiet, so far from the bubbly conversation you usually hold, your loud cackle, your bent-double amusement. Your affection for your friends - the hands on knees, arms around shoulders, kisses pressed to cheeks. It’s hardly there. 

Frankie offers to walk you home, but you wave him off kindly. Tanner’s picking me up, you say, he’s probably outside. Jessa frowns at you.

‘Are you sure, babe?’ She says. ‘It’s not even late yet.’

You smile and nod at her, gather your stuff to go. Jessa catches your arm.

‘We’re still on to go shopping Saturday, though - right?’ 

You smile at her, the first warm one you’ve mustered all night.

‘Of course,’ you say, ‘I’m looking forward to it.’ 

When you stand to leave, you hug everybody goodbye. Tightly, for longer than usual. Frankie doesn’t give you an option when he walks you out to Tanner’s car. The smug prick is hanging out the driver’s seat window. He watches Frankie as you walk up, hostile, threatening, arrogant, and somehow still ridiculous. And, Frankie thinks cruelly - ugly.

Frankie pulls you into his arms a few steps away from your boyfriend. He kisses your hair, and you sigh.

‘Have a good time on Saturday,’ he says softly. You twitch a smile at him. 

‘Thank you, Frankie.’ You say before stepping back and walking to open the passenger door. As you climb in, Tanner winks at him. 

‘Gettin’ a new one tomorrow,’ he says, stupid fucking grin on his face. ‘New car. Exciting stuff. Anyway, better get this one back,’ he says, squeezing your knee a little too hard. You don’t look at Frankie, something like humiliation colouring your cheeks. ‘See you around, Frank.’ Tanner says.

Frankie steps back from the car as it glides forwards, and he watches it disappear up the street. 

Deep anger burns in him. And a kind of fear. It crawls over his skin, cooling the sides of his neck. His heart churns uncomfortably in his chest.

He tells your friends about it when he returns to the table. And they form a plan. Jessa texts you a time she’ll pick you up on Saturday. You say you’re excited again, you need some new clothes.

But Frankie knows Jessa won’t take you shopping. 

No, she brings you here, to the beach, to the bonfire. To him, to Santi and Benny and Will. Because they’re worried.

So worried, they tell you.

They sit you down in one of the chairs around the fire, and they explain why they’re worried. They tell you they love you - so much - and they just need to know if you’re okay. Because they can help. They want to help, want you out of this, because he’s not good for you. The silence, the hair, the clothes you were going to buy. They tell you they hate the way he doesn’t let you speak, how he speaks to you. And you are so quiet through all of it, Frankie begins to get more worried. He speaks to you gently over the fire, but you can’t meet his eye. He tells you his worries, their love for you again. He swallows down his own confession, anything to make you see. How they don’t want you pushed closer to him, want you to be pulled closer to them instead.

But your eyes are so vacant, so far away, that Jessa leaves her deckchair next to you to sit on the burned up log closer to you on your other side. She takes your hands, and you finally, finally look at her. You open your mouth, and you say so quietly -

‘You’re right. You’re right.’ 

It feels like the biggest gulp of oxygen Frankie has ever taken. He feels lightheaded from the relief, from the knowledge. They were right, they were right, which is a terrible, terrible thing.

Will clears his throat, and Frankie looks at him to see similar thoughts flicking over his face like film reel. He licks his lips, opens his mouth, and -

Hate to be so emotional

I didn't aim to get physical

But when he pulled in and revved it up

I said, ‘You call that a pickup truck?’

And in the moonlight I throwed him down

Kickin', screamin' and rollin' around

A little piece of a bloody tooth

Just so you know I was thinking of you

Whatever Will is about to say is cut short by the sweep of headlights over the brush near the dunes. 

A beat up old pickup truck bumps up the track and pulls up alongside Will’s Ranger. The driver’s side window slides down, and Tanner’s face emerges from the gloom. He revs the engine loudly, making you and Jessa jump. A sick feeling curls in Frankie’s stomach as he watches him, this piece of shit who’s been so busy crushing you down. 

Tanner leaps out of the truck, and slams the door. Frankie looks over at you, visibly panicked on the other side of the fire. How the fuck did he find you?

‘Hey baby,’ Tanner says, sickly sweet as he strolls towards you, ducking to press a kiss to your unresponsive mouth. He turns to the rest of the group, eyes skating over Will and Ben until they land on Frankie. Tanner steps towards him, offers his hand.

‘Good to see you again, Frank,’ he says, ‘Told you I’d be getting a new ride.’ 

Frankie stares at his hand. He takes a deep swig of his beer, breathing deeply before looking Tanner in the eye, refusing to shake it.

‘I’m surprised to see you.’ He says to the dirty-haired man.

Tanner tries his best to appear unfazed, but there’s a glimmer of something hot behind his eyes.

‘’Course man, wanted to show off the new pickup.’ He says, grinning broadly. He looks around again, eyes falling hungrily on Jessa. She shifts uncomfortably on the log, rearranging her body so there’s less for him to look at. A deep heat begins to rise in Frankie’s chest.

He glances again at the ancient car that Tanner’s driven up in. The front bumper almost hanging off, the red paint aged and scratched, bumps caved in all up the sides, the roof sagging. 

‘You call that a pickup truck?’ Frankie says lightly. Tanner narrows his eyes at him, angry, before he catches the sound of Santi’s laugh.

He whirls around to the other man and spits -

‘Who the fuck are you?’

Frankie almost laughs, too. Almost.

Pope spreads his hands. He looks up at him through his brows, a glint in his eyes that Frankie is violently familiar with. You must notice it, too, because you clear your throat and say -

‘Santi’s one of my friends.’

Tanner doesn’t even look at you. Just keeps staring at Pope. 

The moment seems to last an eternity. Frankie feels like he’s watching everything through sludge, like he’s in someone else’s dream. His whole body is on edge, vibrating, ready to lunge - he’s just not sure at who. He looks between the two men before he catches your eye through the flames. The adrenaline in Frankie’s heart gutters at the look of panic in your eyes.

Please don’t let them do this. Please help me stop it.

Frankie glances back to Pope, and says, so softly only he can hear it -

‘Pope.’ 

And Santi immediately looks away, taking a swig of his beer.

Tanner stands there still, clearly baffled at Santi’s sudden lack of interest. Then he turns to the rest of the group like a petulant child, a toddler who has been ostensibly robbed of its favourite toy.

‘It’s a good truck,’ he says, before turning to you. ‘Ain’t it, baby?’

You hum your agreement as Tanner scoops a beer from the pile by Will’s chair, shucking off the top with his teeth. Jessa looks away, disgusted. He settles himself in the deckchair at your side.

‘Y’aint allowed to touch it, of course, sugar,’ he says to you, before laughing into his bottle. ‘Ruin everything you come into, anyway. Root of all my problems, ain’t ya?’ Tanner takes a pull of his beer. The group is silent around him. Around you. Tanner notices.

‘Boy, fun bunch you are.’ 

You look at him through your eyelashes.

‘Baby, that’s enough.’ You say as softly as possible, and Frankie cringes at the pet name. 

Tanner looks at you sharply. Dark, furious. It’s in the pinch of his jaw, the anger at what you’ve said so obviously rolling around in his skull.

Frankie hates him for it. And he hates that he hates him for it. There are already so many things he hates him for, but he’s so fucking stupid it’s almost funny. Not your equal in any way. In kindness, in conversation or in intellect. And not even willing to try. To learn. For you. Just trying to dumb you down instead, squash you into smaller, more digestible bites to chew on. 

When it comes down to it, Tanner has nothing smart to say back. He just pushes a short breath from his nostrils and mutters out a little -

‘Well, well, well.’

Then he flexes his fingers against the chair, and you flinch. 

You flinch hard, your brows coming together, chin scrunching, waiting for the blow to land. And when it doesn’t, your eyes flicker open slowly. Hollow, bereft, drained and dim. 

Tanner hasn’t noticed, but everyone else has.

The awful unveiling of your last secret.

Frankie forces the bile down his throat. His head swings forward to the ground of its own accord, a faint, resonant ringing in his ears. When he looks at his hands, they aren’t his own. In fact, he recognises no part of his body as the ringing gets louder, as he gently places his beer bottle on the floor. When his eyes leave the dirt, the mix of faces around the fire are all mirror reflections of each other. Horror, disgust, grief. Grief that this is what you hid from them, this is what they have taken too long to pull you from. The burning building splintering around you, your shell of a body immovable in the middle. 

You won’t meet his eye. You won’t meet anyone’s eye as your hand shakes around your bottle. Jessa notices. She stares at your trembling fingers for too long, but she can hardly say anything. None of them can. Her eyes shine like beacons from her seat, wet with tears. Frankie sees her bottom lip quiver, her chin dimple. And then she swallows, swallows again, and reaches for your hand.

You flinch again, softer this time, and Frankie is sure everyone around the fire - everyone in the town, the world, must hear his heart crack. Because he feels it so keenly, so deeply, that it takes the air from his lungs. His breath is caught in his throat, and no matter how hard he tries to draw it, it seems impossible to claw it down. He’s drowning. He’s drowning right here in front of everybody, and it makes it all the worse to know that this is how you must feel. Every damn day.

Come on, he hears Jessa say, Let’s go and get another drink. And through the dark swirling of his mind he watches the two of you stand slowly and disappear towards the back of Frankie’s truck. He waits until Jessa has you hidden from view, her arms around your hunched back as you bring your hands to your face - crying - and that’s when the thread snaps.

Frankie gets to his feet, slowly.

Pope and Will watch him. Benny is still staring at Tanner.

Tanner looks up at him, chin jutted out, smirking as Frankie approaches. 

He’s challenging him. He’s waiting for a war of words, for the shouting to begin, for the insults, the observations to fly.

He expected the wrong war from a soldier.

The first punch sprawls him out of his seat. It makes a satisfying cracking sound, and the first trickle of blood starts to bleed from behind his lip.

Then Frankie kicks him. He kicks him hard in the ribs, making sure he doesn’t have enough time to recover from the punch to deflect Frankie’s boot. 

Tanner clutches at his abdomen, wheezing, gazing up at Frankie with bewildered eyes. Fucking coward.

Frankie grabs him by the front of his shirt, pulls him upwards. He has nothing to say to him, but the fury he feels, this deep, endless, swirling pit of rage, he lets him see. He lets it fill him from the soles of his feet all the way up through his eyes, and he lets it bleed out. He lets the blackness flood the ground. He lets Tanner watch it, lets it petrify him, and then Frankie swings again. Tanner takes it on his chin this time, his jaw snapping closed, and when it goes lax, a couple jagged bits of tooth fall out. Frankie grunts in satisfaction and swings again, again, until blood spouts from Tanner’s eyebrow and his cheek begins to bruise and swell. Frankie breathes deeply, in rhythm, doesn’t even feel it when Tanner manages to land a lucky punch to his eye socket. He plants a knee into the other man’s crotch, lands him an elbow to the back of his head when he keels over, and then shoves him to the ground. Frankie gets on the floor with him, raining blows down on Tanner’s body, his face. He’s methodical about it, a punch to each eye, the crack of the cunt’s nose, one to either side of his mouth, then bloodying up his jaw. He’s aware, somewhere, that Tanner is screaming. Strangled, gargling sounds trying to claw up his throat. And then he’s aware of two pairs of hands around each armpit, dragging him away, pulling him up. Will is saying something in his ear, that’s enough, Frankie, alright now, and Benny is speaking, too, panicked - you’ll kill him, Fish, come on man.

Frankie blinks, really looks at Tanner where he lays bleeding on the dirt. His eyes already swelling, a couple more teeth scattered on the ground next to him. His face different shades of red and purple, a mess of a man, and Frankie is pleased. He could keep going. He wants to see him bleed much, much more. Will and Benny keep their grip on him.

‘Leave,’ Frankie growls, low, without a quiver in his voice. ‘And don’t you ever come back. You ever look at her again, I’ll gouge out your fuckin’ eyes. You ever touch her again, I’ll break every bone in your body. I’ll make sure they don’t find anything left of you.’

Tanner doesn’t say anything, which must be the only smart thing he’s ever done in his life. But he still doesn’t move.

The four men watch him for a moment, the silence heavy, broken only by the crackle of wood and Tanner’s heavy, wet breaths.

Then Benny lets Frankie go, steps forward and picks the man up by his collar, swinging him around to the direction of his truck. He throws him down on the dirt.

‘Move,’ he spits. ‘Get out of here. And if you have the courage on the way, wrap your fucking truck around a telephone pole.’

Tanner finally has the good sense to crawl over to the vehicle. He hauls himself up the scarred body work before creaking open the driver’s door and slipping inside. The truck sputters to life, yellow bulbs flooding the bonfire site again before it quickly backs away, turns, and drives off. Frankie watches its blinking red brake lights until he’s sure the cunt is gone, and then he turns around.

You’re stood with Santi’s arms wrapped around you, back from the fire where Tanner’s blood is drying. Pope strokes your hair, squeezes you tightly as your body shudders. And Frankie can only stare. 

Minutes might have passed. Hours. And Frankie is terrified. Terrified that he’s scared you, broken you, pushed you away. And then you turn your face on Pope’s chest, moving your head from shoulder to shoulder, and you’re looking at him. Eyes red-rimmed and raw, face flushed and damp, and it’s like Frankie’s trance breaks.

Frightened, he takes a step forward. He breathes your name.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says, and you shake your head. Fuck. What has he done? What has he allowed himself to do? ‘I’m sorry, querida, please - I know, I know -’ but what does he know? He looks to Santi, pleading for help, and the man offers him a small smile as you step out of his arms. 

Through a fog, you come towards him. Your chin wobbles. Your eyes swim. You’re a little wide-eyed, a little shocked. And something else, something beyond his reach. 

You get to him, and your arms make their silken way around his middle as you begin to cry. Hot tears stain the front of his shirt, and he cradles you to him, holding your skull gently, enveloping your abdomen. A loud sob looses from your ribs.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers, ‘I didn’t mean to scare you.’ You wrap your arms around him tighter, press your nose into his sternum.

‘I’m not scared of you, Frankie,’ you sob into his chest. He clutches at the back of your head, holds you even closer, strokes your hair. When you speak again your voice is higher, strained with your tears. ‘I could never be scared of you.’

The sting in Frankie’s throat becomes hot, burning. He doesn’t know whether to pull you impossibly closer or to push you away, to run as far as he can from your broken, heaving body in his arms. Because what he’s done should scare you. It should. He’d lost all control. The only thing he’d been able to see, to feel was his all-consuming, depthless fury. And Tanner’s face as it splintered, bloodied, swelled. And he’d wanted to keep going, until there was just pulp. No nerve endings, no teeth, no eyes, no mouth, no body that he could ever hurt you with again. He doesn’t want you to hurt any more.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers into your hair.

Trembling misery

And as cold as a hole

I hug your bones and skin

Frankie holds your hand the whole way home, the drive passing in a dazed silence.

You still don’t talk when you get to his place, when he unlocks the door, lets you in, and locks it behind him. You take his hand in the quiet cool of the house, lead him upstairs. He follows, slowly, sore, exhausted. Trying to process it all.

When you reach the landing, you turn on the bathroom light, and he trails behind you. He stands propped against the sink as you dig around in his medicine cabinet, finding wipes and bandages and anything else you think might be useful. You take Frankie’s hand again, examine his bruised, bleeding and swollen knuckles with solemn eyes. You are so gentle, twisting his hand in the light, inspecting. You look over it for a while, and Frankie watches you. When you reach for an antiseptic wipe, your hand is shaking.

Frankie winces silently when you start to dab at the blood on his knuckles, cleaning it away with minute swipes. You chase the dried rivulets of blood down his fingers, over his palm. The scar there from when he ate shit riding his bike.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says. You ignore him, breathing shallowly as you inspect his hand, holding his wrist, cleaning blood which is no longer there.

‘Might be a hairline fracture or two,’ you say, distant. ‘I won’t bandage it, gonna let it dry out first. But you’ll need to rest it. And we’ll need to ice your eye.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he says again, into your hair. You shake your head, and the light catches the different colours in every strand. Frankie’s throat tightens.

‘Please stop apologising.’ You whisper.

A shaky breath pushes itself from between Frankie’s lips.

‘No, querida,’ he says softly, ‘It wasn’t right. Shouldn’t have done it. And I shouldn’t have let you see -’ he swallows thickly, throat bobbing. He looks over your head at the white tiles behind you as your grip on his wrist tightens. You still don't look up at him. ‘But it’s not how you treat someone you love. Not how it should be. Should be protecting them, treating them right, loving them the way you love -’ him. He cuts himself off, because he realises as he says it he’s wrong. So wrong.

Right to be like you in your gentleness. In your care, your touch, your tenderness, your loving. But Tanner deserved none of those things. He didn’t deserve your faith, didn’t deserve your protection or your silence either. None of it. 

He closes his eyes.

An image of you flickers through Frankie’s mind. Your fingers on his wrist as they are now, your eyes shining under the streetlights. The glint of your teeth, and the want so clear on your face, then the hesitation, the fear, the shuttering - 

And if only he had kissed you then. If only you had taken him inside. He could have shown you what it was supposed to feel like. He could have saved you from the hurt, the fear which lay ahead.

There’s a splash of warmth on the pale skin of the underside of his forearm, and he opens his eyes again. You’re still hunched over his hand, but your movements have stilled. Frankie waits, confused, before another warm drop lands on his arm and you hiccup a sob out. He whispers out your name, and you turn your face up to him, devastated.

Frankie’s face crumples, and your grip on his wrist loosens enough for him to lift his hands to your face and cup your cheeks.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says, ‘I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said it. I wasn’t thinking -’

‘You think I love him?’ You croak.

Frankie’s jaw works around his next sentence, his next thoughts. He tries to process what this means. That look in your eyes, your tears, your implication. His lips move, but no sound comes out.

‘I don’t love him, Frankie,’ you choke, ‘I don’t. Christ - I don’t think I ever did, I never could -’ you suck in a deep, stuttered breath. ‘I’ve never - never hated anyone more. I couldn’t stand him, couldn’t have him near me, couldn’t have him touch me -’ Frankie flinches at your words. ‘But I was so scared. And embarrassed. I didn’t know how to leave - I didn’t know how to tell anybody about what was going on. I was terrified of what he’d do. To me, to you guys, if he found out I’d spoken about it. And he made it so hard for me to see you, so hard for me to get away.’ You sob now, panic and relief forcing out your words. ‘I thought - wherever I go, he’ll find me. He’ll track me down, and he’ll bring me back - and somehow - somehow that was worse than if he tracked me down and - and - I don’t know, killed me or something -’

Frankie’s eyes shutter. He can’t even follow your thought, so awful is the image, the gaping emptiness. He pulls you close, he lets you cry. Curled into his chest, your body wracking with tears, shaking, tense and uncontrollable, the sounds you make rooting in his brain. They file themselves away in a box where very few things go. Deployment. Tom. The darkness after his investigation. You break and break in his arms, and it’s all he can do to hold the pieces of you together. To press kisses to your head, breathe in the smell of your hair, rub his hands over your back, cradle you like a child. 

He doesn’t know how long the two of you stand there for. He waits until you stop sobbing, stop crying softly, stop hiccuping, stop sniffing. He waits for a few more minutes in the silence, too. And when he pulls away, he presses a long, sweet kiss to your forehead. 

You blink up at him through red, swollen eyes.

‘You’re safe here.’ He says, and you nod.

‘I know. Thank you. For - everything.’ You say thickly. Frankie swallows, nods. You know it all anyway. Any time, for however long you need.

He pads downstairs to get you a glass of water, and while he’s pouring it, he can hear you blow your nose, wash your face. Somehow, they are the most perfect sounds in the world.

Crackling wood’s gone white

And my eye swole up now

I can see the light

Frankie gives you one of his sleep-stretched t-shirts and an old pair of shorts for you to wear to bed. 

The clothes dwarf you a little, and he can’t wipe the small, thrilled smile from his face, even when he looks away. You look fucking adorable. 

You giggle at him every time you see it, your little what? only making him smile harder. It stretches his mouth until it hurts and his cheeks start to cramp up, squishing his swollen eye. Stop he tries to say, but it comes out as an equally breathless huff of laughter - and that only makes you giggle more. So much so that he sweeps you up into his arms to stash you under the covers, and you laugh even harder as he tucks the sheets in tight around you, just like his mama used to do when she wanted him to stay put. 

He looks down at you from the side of the bed, hands on his hips, and you laugh back at him - eyes shining, mouth open in wide hoots of delight, your hands coming up in a desperate attempt to contain yourself. He points a finger at you.

‘You need to calm down,’ he says, voice tight with bridled amusement. ‘It’s bedtime.’

But you cackle back at him, this glorious puddle of sunshine in his bed, only howls of laughter for a response. Unable to help himself, he returns your joy, turning off the bedside lamps to slip in beside you.

In the darkness, your snorts subside into ragged breaths, and you turn on your side to look at him. You study him as though you never want to forget a single line on his face; such warmth, such affection in your eyes that Frankie’s whole body swells and lifts.

You take his hand beneath the sheets and hold it between your faces, smiling softly at him.

The first and only girl he’s really ever loved. This brilliant, fierce, bright, intelligent woman damped down by the waste of fucking space who had bled by the fire. At the thought of it, Frankie feels his heart fall out of his chest, down through the floorboards, and plummet towards the middle of the earth.

And finally, he begins to cry.

He tries to stop it, he really does. It’s selfish, he thinks, so awful and selfish to cry in front of you when it’s you who should be wrapped in his arms, swept away by emotion again if you needed to be, safe and warm and unworried, never having to fret about anything again.

But he can’t stop it. It comes out in great shuddering breaths - pained, wracked sounds slipping past his lips, and he can’t help it. He tries to gather them in his hands to shove them back in his mouth, tries to scoop them in his arms and press them back into the caving ache of his chest, but he can’t.

When Frankie was a child, he saw his dad cry once. Only once, and exactly like this, after his father’s brother was killed in a car accident. He had seen it through a crack in his parents’ bedroom door, and it had hurt him. It had wounded him, as a child, to see his father break with such grief, such pain, such emptiness, and to know there was nothing he could do about it. And now, he is split into those two people - younger self, older self - as he thinks of you lying next to him on the bed. This person who he loves so much, who is now so full of the knowledge of the worst parts of living, wound up so tight within you that you let it settle, let it unfurl around your bones. He sees your hurt, your grief, your pain refracted around him tenfold, and he hurts with you. He sees you as the boy he once was, this poor creature looking in at a heart breaking, as he has unknowingly watched yours break for months.

And he’s so sorry, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to stop saying it.

But here you are, still, performing the ultimate act of kindness. Comfort.

He feels the mattress move as you slide closer to him, and then your hand is on his back, swooping in gentle movements. He feels the scrabble of your fingers under the ribs he has pressed into the bed, the pressure of your arm moving under him so you can hold him properly. Frankie sobs harder, but he opens his body to you. You press closer to him, burying your face in his neck, and he breathes you in as he cries. Your scent is here, you are here. And like you heard him, you whisper -

‘It’s okay, Frankie. It’s okay. ’M here. I’m safe.’ And this realisation allows a little more air, but it doesn’t make Frankie’s guilt, his shame any better. But you’re right, he knows it. And somewhere in his crying, this turns his gasps to tears of relief. Softly, you retract your arms from around him.

You take his hands away from his face, and kiss the palms. You kiss each fingertip, each bruised and cracked knuckle. You lean forward and press a kiss to each tear, each trail of saltwater on his face. And you are so beautiful in the moonlight. Soft and wide eyed. Safe. Kind, always kind, and full of understanding. Frankie sees now that you have been crying against him, too, your eyelashes cloyed with tears. Sees his thoughts in your eyes as though you have had each of them zip to you through the air. When you were a child, you saw your dad cry once. Only once, and exactly like this, after…

A smile breaks through your eyes, chasing away the remnants of tears, glazing down, softening your lips. 

And Frankie doesn’t think this time. His feet don’t fail him. He doesn’t think of stars or glitter or constellations of ice crystals. He just kisses you. And kisses you and kisses you and kisses you. And he doesn’t stop, because nothing else matters anymore.

You’re safe. You’re warm. You’re in his bed. 

You’re here.

You tip your head back, deepening the kiss, licking into Frankie’s mouth. He gives in so easily to you he’s almost ashamed. But then your fingers clutch at him, ball at the bottom of his shirt, tangle in the thick of his hair, and all his thoughts are forgotten. He feels you slip a soft, strong leg over his, pulling him forward. You groan against him, and Frankie’s cock twitches. You feel it, you must do, as you pull your body closer to him, tight against him. Frankie is so lightheaded he doesn’t know where his hands are, what they’re doing - and when he concentrates, he finds them skating over your back, squeezing the tension out of the back of your neck, gripping your hip.

He moans against you as you rock your hips over his thigh, as he feels the heat of your sex against his skin. He feels like he’s on fire.

You slip a hand under his sleep shorts and palm him, brushing his silken length with two fingers, feeling him grow harder, thicker against you. You take him in your hand, pump him once, twice with the perfect grip, the perfect speed, like you were made for him. He’s gasping against you, panting as you suck his lower lip into your mouth.

‘Baby,’ he groans, breathless, ‘We don’t have to. We really don’t -’

You look up at him through gorgeous, glazed eyes.

‘I want to,’ you say, ‘Do you?’

Dangerous, dangerous question. 

Frankie tries to shake his head, look away, think of anything but the tight fist of your fingers around his cock.

‘I do,’ he says, ‘I do. But I don’t think - this is the right thing -’

You loosen your grip, draw away from him. His body aches with a shudder.

His eyes flick back to yours again - confused, hurt - fuck, he can’t do that to you, ever -

‘I - I don’t want to take advantage of it - of you,’ he says. Your eyelashes flutter against your cheeks as you look down the sheets towards your toes. His jaw tightens. ‘And - and I don’t want this to mean - different things for us. I don’t want it to ruin what we have.’ Frankie breathes out heavily through his nose. He has to tell you now. He has to. ‘I don’t want it to mean different things, because I love you. I always have. And if we do this, if I have you even just for a night, I - I’ll never recover from it.’ Tears spike in his eyes again. He tries to smile. ‘You’d ruin me. And I don’t think I’d ever forgive you for it.’

Your breath hitches in your throat, and Frankie watches as your eyes flit back up to his. They search his face, the dribble of his barely-shed tears, the slope of his sad smile. You bring a hand up to cup his cheek, running your thumb over his scraps of beard. He closes his eyes.

‘What you said earlier,’ you begin. Frankie swallows. He waits for the blow of rejection. ‘About me - about me loving him.’ He opens his eyes slowly to find yours, bright and clear. Something begs to bubble over in them. Something golden and warm. ‘You were wrong - obviously. And I couldn’t tell you truly why, because I was afraid. So afraid of pushing you away, even though I think that’s all I’ve ever done. I’ve never thought I was worth it, Frankie. I don’t deserve you. And I am terrified of how much I love you.’ You beam at him, eyes bubbling over with that thing - love - ‘I love you,’ you say simply, like it’s not the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. 

A stunned little laugh ripples up his throat, and you copy it. He grips your face in his hands, and kisses you again, again, again.

‘I love you,’ he says.

‘I love you, too,’ you giggle.

‘And you are,’ he presses to your lips, ‘You are absolutely worth it.’

He rolls over on top of you, and begins to kiss your jaw, nipping at the skin there, before moving down your throat. He kisses you with a hot, open mouth, sucking marks into the sensitive skin at your pulse point. Mine, he groans, and you whimper against him, rubbing your thighs together.

Frankie pushes your shirt up - his shirt - so he can bite at your chest, press kisses to every bit of exposed skin. Every single part of you that deserves to be loved, every single place which has so far been unknown to him. He sucks each nipple into his mouth, delighted when you keen beneath him, panting, please, please Frankie, before he sinks lower down, peeling his shorts away from you to expose your glistening cunt. 

He groans, unable to take his eyes away from it as he leans forward, pressing his body into the mattress to lick a stripe from your asshole to your clit.

‘Frankie -’ you groan down at him as he begins to work at you, sucking and licking, nipping at your thigh before slipping his tongue into your hole, swiping and tasting everything you’re giving to him. He grinds himself into the mattress, hissing at the relief, the uncomfortable weight of his cock dragging below him.

‘Taste so good, baby,’ he tells you, and he doesn’t think he ever wants to taste, wants to smell anything else ever again. All he can do is eat at you, breathe you in, until you’re begging him -

‘Frankie, your fingers - please -’ And he flexes his hand at your hip before brushing a fingertip against your entrance and gasping at the pain. 

You try to bear down towards him, but he rips his hand away, lifting his head towards you.

‘Can’t,’ he gasps, and you mewl, bucking your hips up to his face, desperate. ‘Hand’s fucked,’ he says, and you still your movements before beginning to laugh again. It’s loud and from your belly, and it's bizarre. But Frankie gets it. He gets it, and he giggles too. He doesn’t try to fuck his broken knuckles into you, but he does try to continue lathing you with his tongue. You’re making it pretty fucking difficult, though.

‘Stop laughing,’ he huffs against your clit, ‘I’m trying to make you come.’

‘Okay,’ you say, gasping for air, ‘Okay. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. You’re doing really well, by the way.’ But this only makes him laugh. He groans, leaning his forehead against your inner thigh. ‘This is impossible.’ He pouts.

‘Nooo,’ you cry, leaning up on your elbows to pout down at him. ‘Please, baby. I’ll be good. I’ll be so good. I won’t laugh anymore.’

‘Promise?’ He says. You hold out your pinky to him.

‘Pinky promise.’ You say.

Frankie stretches his hand out to you and tries to extend his pinky. He winces at the sharp pain which shoots from the movement, and grunts at you, your eyes sparkling with mischief.

‘You bastard,’ he says, trying and failing to hold his smile, ‘You knew I wouldn’t be able to do that.’

‘Just keeping you on your toes,’ you grin, and then before you can make any more smart remarks, Frankie resumes his ministrations, lapping and tonguing at your clit, your hole, mouthing hot, wet kisses to your pussy. He shakes his head from side to side, running your bud in tight, hard little circles until you’re a moaning, whimpering mess beneath him. Your hips buck unconsciously, and Frankie hooks both his arms around your thighs to hold you down, flattening his hands against your belly to keep you firmly in place. He reaches up to twist at your nipples and you gasp. 

‘God, Frankie, tongue feels so fucking good -’ 

He can feel you begin to pulse against his chin as your whines get higher in pitch, and he groans as you twist handfuls of his hair.

‘Come on, baby,’ he says, ‘Give it to me. Wanna see you come, querida. Wanna taste it. Come on my face.’

And you do, the sensation of it arching your back tight like a bow, a strangled moan cutting off into the ceiling.

‘Fuck, Frankie, fuck -’ as he drives you through it, nodding and murmuring against you as you try to wriggle free, squealing in protest until you manage to twist a leg and set a foot against his chest, pushing him off. 

‘Fucking - hell -’ You pant, and Frankie grins down at you, smug.

‘Good?’ He asks, quirking an eyebrow.

‘Oh, fuck you, Morales.’ You laugh, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss, moaning when you taste yourself on him. Your tongue explores every part of his mouth, every crevice behind every tooth, like you can’t get enough of him. Like there'll never be enough of him. ‘Now fuck me.’ You whisper.

And Frankie does not need to be told twice.

He rips his shirt up and off his back, shucks his shorts down his legs, and squeezes himself tight as he can in his left hand. He ruts into his palm, thumb swiping to slick his heavy beads of precum down his length.

‘Ready?’ he asks, looking down to find you staring wide-eyed at his cock. It twitches under your gaze.

‘What?’ He says, and you shake your head in quiet disbelief and amusement. You lift your eyes back to his face, and they are so dark with arousal he almost melts into the mattress.

‘Nothing,’ you shrug. ‘Just somehow never believed Pope and the boys when they said it was like two coke cans put together.’ 

‘Jesus Christ.’ Frankie laughs, his face pulling tight with a grin as he lines himself up at your entrance, swilling the head in your arousal.

‘I mean, what if it doesn’t fit?’ You babble, and he shakes his head.

‘It’ll fit, baby,’ he says. ‘We’ll make it fit.’ Then he sinks the first inch in, and just waits. He waits and watches you, watches as your mouth falls slack, all the smart things coming out your mouth grinding to a halt. He throbs at how tight you are around him, at how you clench already, trying to suck him in further. And fuck, you are so wet.

‘You okay, querida?’ He asks through gritted teeth.

You manage a nod, a broken whine escaping you.

‘Move Frankie, please baby -’ you beg, and he groans as he pushes further inside you, watching the obscene stretch of your pussy around him, the way it pulses, the way it gets wetter and warmer and tighter around him. When he bottoms out, he feels the hot rush of his orgasm leap towards him a little too quickly.

‘Fuck, baby,’ he breathes, closing his eyes just to make sure he doesn’t come right away. You squirm beneath him, canting your hips up, trying to fuck yourself. Frankie grips you, gritting his teeth. ‘Stay still,’ he hisses, flushing a little. ‘God, fuck, please - just for a minute.’ He opens his eyes to find you watching him, your bottom lip caught in your teeth. His eyes glaze down your body - his t-shirt bunched up around your chest, perfect tits, perfect belly, and your sweet, sopping cunt split open on his cock. 

He groans again, slipping out, watching as he retreats, soaked by you, before pushing back in. A high pitched whine leaves your lips, and you twitch your hands up to play with your tits. Frankie doesn’t think he’s ever seen something more sexy in his life.

‘That’s right,’ he says, ‘Keep playing with yourself like that, gorgeous. Look at you.’

So you do, looking up at him with doe-eyes as he fucks into you, soft at first, letting you adjust before quickening his pace, readjusting his angle, feeling you leak around him. His balls slap against your ass loudly, and you keen up at him, eyes wide, begging for something as you tighten like a coil around him, something you can’t quite voice. But Frankie knows.

He swipes his thumb against your clit, and your eyes roll into the back of your head, your back arching again. He groans at the sight, and works the bundle of nerve endings in tight circles, faster and harder, harder and faster, until you’re gripping him so tight he thinks you might push him out.

‘Come baby, come,’ he pants, ‘Please, querida, need to feel you - need to feel you soak me. Need you to come for me, come on this cock, baby, please -’

And he groans, long and loud as you clench and pulse around him, milking him, pulling him impossible deeper - fuck, Frankie, oh my god, feels so fucking good - the delicious pressure at the base of his spine at breaking point as he fucks you through it, as he pants and gasps -

‘Come, Frankie,’ you plead, ‘Please - want you, need you -’ and he spills himself deep inside you, hips stuttering, eyes clamping shut, overwhelmed and short circuited. He’s never known it could feel like this - good to the end of every synapse - and he’s fucking it in with three long thrusts, pulling out slowly just to watch it dribble out of you as he twitches against his thigh. He thumbs your clit just to watch you seize and sigh against him, then sits back on his knees to look at you.

‘You are something else,’ he says in disbelief.

You smile lazily at him.

‘Ain’t so bad yourself, Morales,’ and he laughs, throwing himself down next to you, kissing anywhere he can. I love you, I love you, I love you. Safe.

You lay there for a while afterwards, just feeling each other, calming your ragged breathing. Eventually, Frankie rises from the bed to grab a washcloth, coming back and swiping between your legs tenderly, gently, before collapsing back into bed and pulling you into his chest.

He feels like he’s in space, and he tells you as much. He spills secrets like a child at a sleepover. He tells you about the glitter and the stars and the constellations of ice crystals. You match him with a galaxy of feeling spanning the time he’s known you. And he feels that this is a dream, this love which floats like a nebula within the bed. He tries to keep his eyes open for as long as possible, even as you sleep. And even when he does drift off, he dreams of you. He dreams of you sparkling with stardust, waiting for him with your arms open.

When he wakes the next morning, you’re still there. Safe, soft and warm against him, furled into his ribcage, heart beating against the hand that’s pressed against your chest.

Everything’s okay. That red thread still intact, after all.

When the sun rises, bloody and mild, it’s never been so sweet.

A little piece of a bloody tooth

Just so you know I was thinking of you

[ssvnriseya]

NEED YOU (D.D)

summary - you and daryl were in a fight and he got jealous when he saw you with another man.

warnings - MDNI 18+ oral, (m! receiving) p in v, breeding kink, daddy kink, pet names, dom!daryl × sub!reader, virgin! reader, jealousy, age gap (reader! in her early 20's, daryl! in his mid 40's), loss of virginity, aftercare, intended lowercase.

note - okay! second time writing smut, hope you like it. lol, i'm really hoping it's the smut of your expectation, this is my longest, probably about six or five thousand words?!

masterlist

"we brought dinner." daryl spoke, holding the raccoon up when the gate opened.

"they're okay, they're okay." aaron assured the guy on guard duty when he and eric entered, your group all held their guns by their side.

you smiled warmly at the man when his gaze landed on you, ready to make a good impression and give this place a chance, for judith and all of you.

he then looked back at aaron and the rest of your group walked in, you almost felt embarrassed with the clothes you had on, dirty hospital scrubs.

it was rather dirty and older compared to their clean clothes, you have tried everything to find other clothes but your group's luck and hope ran out ever since beth and tyreese died, you all didn't even get lucky with the village you all checked out.

just as the gate was about to close there was a walker, groaning and trying to get to them. rick nodded at sasha and she raised her sniper, shooting the walker.

"you all should probably talk to deanna first." aaron said as they looked around them in awe, how could something like this place still stand?

"but before that, give up your guns. you stay, you give us your guns." the smug looking guy said, you looked at rick for his reaction.

"we don't even know if we want to stay." rick growled, the smug guy shrugged and aaron frowned at him. he assured rick and the group.

"it's just a precaution, if you want to stay though, you can get your guns back when you go outside the walls." he quickly said and explained.

rick nodded and the group lined up, placing their guns on the cart carefully, some sending a glare on the alexandrians.

"you'll talk to deanna first, then i can show you your houses." aaron said casually, your mouth was gaped open.

"as in plural? you're really giving us houses, for free?" you said at him in disbelief, a few of your group members chuckling at you.

"it isn't the same world anymore, where you have to pay for a piece of shit of a land, and pay more to construct a house." daryl frowned, remembering something.

how he worked his ass off on his work to pay rent and getting paid low, not even enough to save up for a piece of land.

"okay." you said, shrugging as you watched rick go into deanna's house.

"what do you think she'll ask? like do you have a husband, a daughter, or an affair or something?" you blabber to the ear next to you, not realizing it's daryl as you stared at the house, as if waiting for rick to come out crying.

when someone grunted, you turned to see daryl drowning, as usual.

"okay, fine. be that way." you pouted at him and turned away from him, when rick came out, abraham, glenn, noah, rosita and others went next.

all of you was done by the time the sun was almost going down but still blazing hot.

basically deanna just asked you about how you survived outside the walls, what you did to survive, and she bragged about being a political. you tuned her out for most of that.

"we're going to stay in the house together for tonight, rick said." you told daryl who was at the porch and staring into nothing.

"‘m coming in a few minutes." he spoke and you nodded entering the house, you saw rick come out of the hallway and you were shocked.

"oh my— is that you, rick?!" you teased him, he smiled at you warmly.

"shower's free. there's a few clothes for you on the counter by a folk here." rick said as he turned to michonne to watch her reaction.

you snickered at him, he was like a school boy all over again. like getting a haircut and seeing if your crush liked it.

you showered quickly and changed into a pair of pink pajamas. "shower and brushing is refreshing." you sighed as you stretched onto the mattress.

"oh my goodness, for the couples here tonight, please refrain yourselves from like you know..." you teased the couples, most likely rosita and abraham.

abraham smirked at you, "why don't you explore here, go and find someone to bump uglies with." he laughed followed by a few others.

you didn't notice the way daryl rolled his eyes from the corner, an angry expression on his face.

"maybe, i will. once we get settled in here nicely, when we don't have to worry about things anymore... i actually want to find someone to be with me for the rest of my life." you whispered to abraham as a few others engaged into a conversation themselves.

"i hope you find that, little one." he smiled at you like a big brother would, and patted your hair.

"deanna's hosting a party?" rosita asked where you, rosita, maggie, tara, sasha and michonne sat around in the living room.

"yeah, she said tonight." tara nodded, you six had nothing to do as the other went on to explore outside.

"they really don't know anything about what's outside these walls... if they still can think about hosting parties." you sighed.

"deanna said that this place was right from the start, they just built up those walls for protection." michonne shrugged, drinking her coffee.

"they're spoiled, never really knowing how to fight." maggie agreed, it was like a normal morning again... chatting with your friends with no worries about what might happen later.

"well, if she's hosting a party... let's find clothes to wear and might just enjoy the liquors there." sasha raised her brows up and down, suggestively.

you all chuckled and agreed with her, promising each other to go together in the garage where almost hundreds of free clothes were.

you parted from them and went to find daryl, if it wasn't that obvious, you like him, deeply.

you always went to find reasons to be near him but as far as you know, daryl didn't care about you. almost hating your presence whenever you volunteered to go with him on dry runs.

you have tried everything to get closer to him but he always seemed to find a way to push you away. he ignores you most of the time, says harsh words, avoid you completely.

but even though he's like that, you never gave up, always comforting him when you noticed he was down.

you still pursued your feelings for him after all these years, thinking that you might have a chance with someone like him.

how can you not like him? he was selfless, he was kind, he was caring, he cares for judith like he was her uncle, and most of all, he loves.

it might not be that obvious but you know that he loves, so that's why you hoped that he will love you too, not like a friend, but more than that.

but being here made you realize a few things, daryl is never the type of guy to settle down for relationships, even before the end of the world, as merle said.

daryl has priorities and being in a relationship like you wanted was never one of them, he was a guy who never believed in love.

daryl is an emotionally unavailable man, he was all about surviving, so you know he never will have time for shitty relationships, as he said when you asked him one day.

"d–do you ever want to be in a relationship? when we find a safe place?" you asked him as you stared into the fire, you and him were guarding camp and the rest were asleep.

"don't have time f' shitty relations'." he grunted, and you know that was the end of the conversation.

you both were the total opposite, and you know total opposites never work.

he was shy, you weren't, you were talkative, he wasn't, he doesn't love to express his emotions, you do. and there was so much more to it.

just thinking about all of it makes your heart break, maybe it was really time to move on from him, you never even had a chance in the first place.

now that you were in a safe place with the group you considered your family, you were happy.

the group was happy, mostly, rick and daryl still didn't trust this place for a bit.

but you know that someday they will when they had a chance to see the potentials of this neighborhood.

"you're going to move on from him, starting tonight, at the party." you whispered to yourself as you found yourself staring at him, sitting at the porch.

"hey, daryl!" you waved at him, you were shocked how you felt that your heart wasn't going to jump out of your chest anymore, unlike before.

maybe you really were starting to move on.

"deanna has a party, are you coming?" you asked him, squinting your eyes as the sun glared at you from above.

"the rest of the group is coming..." you quickly added as he wore his angry face.

"don't have time f' parties, all you ever do is party. what about waking up, huh? you're back in yer' own lil' world, caring all about drinking."

he spoke long, you can feel your heartstrings breaking. of course, he still remembers.

you, him, and beth escaped the prison together, when you were by the fire, eating snake... you missed everyone, you can't think about anything else so you want to forget.

so you suggested to go find liquors, but daryl didn't respond and beth seemed to realize something, you had a tantrum and left them there, beth following you after cursing daryl for making you upset.

beth was a curious young girl, only a two year or four year gap between you, so she asked why you still want to drink after all that's happened. so you happily explained how the drink makes you forget all the pain and memories, at least just for a while. you both spent days and nights being brats to daryl.

so you, beth, and daryl found a golf club where you and beth tried to find any alcohol, only finding peach schnapps. you immediately declined it.

and daryl had a rampage, throwing the bottle away and leading you and beth to a cabin, full of moonshine.

then it all went downhill there, you guys drank and after, you burned the house down and daryl taught beth how to hunt.

you all found a parlor home and went to stay there but it got attacked by a small herd and daryl told you and beth to wait for him by the road, where you got taken.

you both woke up in a hospital, then worked there. then the group came for you after a week or two. dawn never had the intention of letting you go so she grabbed beth and carol.

then that's where it happened, dawn died... along with beth. you went out of your room and instantly ran to the group.

"okay... but you don't have to be an asshole in everything, i miss her too and i regret that i wasn't even able to save her!you think it's just you? well sorry to disappoint you i was there too!" you said and walked away from the house, tears brimming your eyes when you remembered beth.

he didn't have to be a super asshole about it, he could've just declined you nicely and you wouldn't have to be remembered of beth.

the party only didn't mean alcohol... your group might meet new people, and neighbors, that's if rick decided to settle down here.

"hey, maggie. you're more beautiful tonight!" you complimented her as glenn has his arms around maggie's waist.

"hey, abe, watch rosita tonight, men are eyeing her." you warned him with a smile as you walked further into the party.

you were still upset at daryl but you didn't let it ruin your mood tonight, you greeted a few people from alexandria before walking towards the rest of your group.

"hi, you're all so handsome and beautiful tonight." you hugged them and kissed their cheeks.

"where's robin hood?" carol asked, her gaze around the party, trying to find the redneck.

"he didn't want to come..." you explained.

"well, you go enjoy the party, honey. me and rick just have something to discuss." she told you like a mother would, making you smile.

"okay, carol." you smiled and walked away from them, grabbing yourself a glass of juice when you walked by the table. you felt a presence beside you but ignored them.

"hi, i'm lance." a voice beside you spoke, you turned and smiled at the charming man.

"hi..." you greeted and said your name. he held out his hands for you to shake and you shook it.

there wasn't any spark or whatsoever that you felt with daryl when you held his hands when there were times you were scared, and he let you.

"you wanna get out of here? you know for fresh air, it's too stuffy here." he chuckled and you nodded quickly, you felt suffocated inside deanna's home.

he held your wrist softly as he guided you out of the house, you both arrived at the porch as fresh air quickly surrounded you.

"i hate parties, but at least it's a reminder of what the world used to be, right?" you asked him as you walked with him at the sidewalk, side by side.

"yeah, i arrived here three months ago. and they really don't know what they're doing out there." he agreed.

"a–are you like looking past friendship?" you whispered at him shyly, because you weren't. you were still moving on from daryl and you didn't want to use him.

he shakes his head and laughed. "god, no. i'm gay, but it's not obvious as i'm hiding it from deanna." he said.

"you don't have to hide it, no one will hate you for who you are. it's a new world." you assured him, placing a hand on his biceps.

"thankfully you don't want to, because i'm still hung up on a boy i liked." you chuckled bitterly.

"he's a dick if he doesn't see who you are, i've just been with you for like five minutes and i can see how sweet you are in an instant, it's his fault for not seeing it." he spoke.

"but seriously, you don't have to hide... look at eric and aaron for example." you told him, you leaned in to hug him.

someone cleared their throat and you quickly turned your head to the side in nervousness.

"d-daryl." you said and quickly dropped your hands to the side, he took long strides toward you and grabbed your wrists tightly and dragged you with him.

"w–wait! i'm sorry, lance!" you shouted at the man who chuckled and waved his hands.

he dragged you into rick's house and into his basement room.

"w–what's wrong with you?!" you shout at him in confusion, along with frustration.

"what's wrong with m'? what's wrong with ye'?!" he asked as he let go of you.

"why are you turning the question? i was having a conversation and you dragged me away!" you scolded him.

"you shouldn't be talking to some guy! you trust too easy!" he taught you, something you knew already.

"he's a nice guy." you spoke softer, mistaking his intentions of dragging you away, you thought that he was just worried about you.

"yer' mine, got it? don't care if he's nice." he suddenly mumbled lowly.

"w-what?" you asked, confused. how can he just claim you like that?! you can feel your heart beating so fast it might get out of its cage.

he didn't speak and kissed you roughly, you froze and felt sparks flew to you, you can feel the heat in you.

you gasped and opened your mouth to protest but he used that to enter his tongue in your mouth.

he pulled away, "dar—" you tried to speak but he kissed you again, shutting you up.

you can't help but moan when he squeezed your breast, arching your back, and your head back.

"ahm– da–daryl..." you groaned as he began attacking your neck, your one hand was placed on the bed to support your weight as the other was on his hair.

your grip tightened on his hair as he sucked on your sweet spot making him groan.

"need you, sweetheart." daryl said as he pulled away, you looked into his eyes and saw it full of desire and love.

you nodded and tried to pull off your shirt, when you can't do it, out of nervousness, daryl helped you.

he took in the sight of you in a pink lace bra as he bit his lips, making you squirm and feel even more hot, if that was possible.

he suddenly attacked the top of your breasts as his hands went around you, unclipping your bra and taking it off of you.

"fuck, baby. this just for m'?" he asked and you nodded as you bit your lip, he took one in his hands while he placed another in his mouth.

"daryl..." you moaned as he massaged the other and sucked on the other one.

your hands found their way in your jeans, but due to its rough fabric you can't get friction.

you unclipped your jeans and tugged on them, to pull them down, daryl's other hand helping you as he guided your back to the mattress.

he pulled away from your breasts making you whine, "needy, huh?" he asked as he slipped the jeans of your feet.

he almost wants to take a shot of your body, nearly naked and out of breath, hair out of place.

he started unbuttoning his shirt as she sat up and helped him, almost needy to take the shirt off of him.

he let you do the work and after it was all unbuttoned, you stood up to slip it off his torso.

he sat on the bed as you stayed standing, he tugged on his belt and gestured it to you.

you tilted your head in confusion, before he pointed to his noticeable large bulge, making you nod in embarrassment.

you kneeled in front of him, between his legs as you looked up at him, he nodded at you, encouraging you.

you slowly took off his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, pulling down the zipper as you tugged on it, he raised his hips as you pulled it down, along with his underwear.

your mouth parted in shock as you gulped, looking at him, he looked right back at you with lust.

"h-how's that gonna fit? i-it's so big..." you shyly said as you let your gaze drift down to his cock again.

it stood proudly, the tip touching his stomach, the veins in it noticeable, you also noted of his angry red tip.

"it will fit, you will figure it out, baby girl... daddy will take care of you later, okay?" he spoke in a gentle voice, making you nod.

you were determined to fit him on your mouth and cunt, even if it will squeeze him tightly.

you kitten licked his tip, almost looking like it was to taste the pre-cum dripping down.

you felt foreign to the salty flavor but licked him again making him groan in pleasure.

if he was making that reaction it might feel good for him, and you wanted to make him feel good tonight.

you entered the tip of his angry cock in your mouth, slowly. you took more of him until he reached the back of your throat, and it was hardly half of him.

you placed your hand on his thigh and the other on his stomach, pressing it down.

you raised him out of your mouth then took him again, you looked up at him through your eyelashes as he continued moaning in pleasure. it makes you wet as his voice and moans vibrate.

you moved your mouth up and down faster, each hitting the back of your throat each time making you gag and teary.

he held a good amount of your hair and helped your head in and out of his cock.

"that's it, sweetheart..." he moaned as he moved your head faster, through your hair.

"augh– augh." you gagged again as his tip hit the back of your throat hardly.

"fuck, baby girl... yer' mouth 's so fucking warm, daddy might fuck this mouth f' day to night..." he cursed as he moaned, nearing his release.

you were so turned on by his moans and the things he was saying to you that you pressed your hands harder where they are.

"fuck, baby... 'm near... jus' keep goin'..." he encouraged you, you removed your hands off him.

you placed your hands on the remainder of his cock that your mouth can't take and synchronized it to the rhythm of your mouth.

he was so long and thick that even though it was your mouth and two hands wrapped around him there was still a part uncovered.

how does he hide this monstrous cock in his jeans? it was so long and thick you know it might not even fit you.

he moaned non-stop and then you felt his cum rushing down your throat.

he came in your mouth as he tried to catch his breath, you waited for his cum to stop releasing then pulled him out of your mouth, swallowing his semen.

you wiped the liquid that went down your chin, he looked like he was so proud of you and that made you so happy.

his thumb found its way in your lips, "show m', baby. ye' took it all, hm?"

you nodded eagerly, you opened your mouth and held your tongue out as he examined your mouth.

he nodded proudly and kissed your forehead. "good girl, daddy's proud of you..." he praised you, you whimpered at his words, making him smile.

"i-i need you in me, daddy..." you pleaded with him as if your life depended on it.

"so eager fer m', huh?" he laughed, and you nodded desperately. you couldn't stand the aching heat in your core anymore.

"p–please..." you whispered as you reached out for his cock, he stepped back with a smile making you whine.

"don't be a brat, baby girl... daddy will give it to ya. just wait, 'lright?" he whispered in your ear, you nodded.

"okay..." you plastered on a smile at him as he grabbed you by the waist, grabbing you by the waist and pushing you to the bed, gently.

"you ready fer daddy, baby?" he asked you as he teasingly rubbed his tip at your aching core, covered in your cotton panties.

"s–so ready, daddy..." you moaned at the sensation of something making contact with your clit.

it was a sight to see, your cotton underwear soaked wet with your slick.

his fingers found their way on the hem of your underwear, he slowly took it off, groaning as he saw your wet cunt.

it was pinkish, and puffy and very visibly wet. you felt shy and tried to close your thighs but he held out his hands to stop them.

"nuh–uh, baby girl... daddy wants to see his baby's pussy, okay?" he talked to you, softly.

"yes, daddy." you moaned and tried to raise your hips to feel his tips, but his hands moved your waist down, stopping you.

"daddy's goin' in, baby..." he said.

you felt his tip making contact with your aching core, you hissed in pain as he slowly entered.

"ye okay, sweetheart?" he asked as he pushed another inch into you, he waited for you to respond.

"y-yes, dare... keep going, i–i'm fine." you closed your eyes in the hope of making the pain disappear.

"fuck, baby girl. you're so tight around me..." he also hissed but in pleasure.

he pushed an inch every other minute as he patiently waited for you to adjust to his length.

he furrowed his eyebrows in worry at you as he saw a tear slipped down your cheeks.

"we don't have to do this, sweetheart..." he assured you as he went to pull back but you held his wrist and shook your head as a no.

"i-it's okay..." you nodded at him, and he sighed before kissing you and asking you to take deep breaths.

"jus' focus on me, darling..." he told you and you nodded, you didn't know it would feel this painful.

he pushed the rest of him into you, making you gasp in pain. he did it at one swift move.

you can feel yourself stretched more than ever, you can feel yourself around him, you felt so full.

almost complete, like he was the only one who was supposed to be inside of you.

like his monstrous cock was made for you, and you only. you closed your eyes as you took deep breaths.

"w–why did you do that?!" you hissed at him as you hit his biceps.

he looked guilty and sorry, "sorry, baby... it's better this way, one instant pain, get it?" he kissed your tears and held your chins in his hand.

you nodded in understanding, and he waited for you to adjust to him completely.

you nodded at him as a signal to start moving, he grinned and kissed your forehead.

he pulled out slowly before going back in, then out then in again. you felt a slight pain but it disappeared as he thrusted in again.

the pure pain changed into a mixture of pure pleasure, you held onto his shoulders and biceps, burrying your face into his neck as you moaned.

"daryl... oh goodness!" you whimpered as he thrust into you faster when he noticed you felt pleasure instead of pain.

"fuck, baby... you feel s'good around m'cock... yer' cunt was made fer me." he groaned as if reading your mind just moments ago.

you wrapped your legs around his waist to bury his cock deeper into you.

every time he thrust his tip hit your g-spot making you moan again and again, you don't even know if you will still be able to speak tomorrow.

he kissed your neck as your hands tugged on his hair and gripped his biceps tightly.

"moan fer daddy, baby." he whispered against your neck making you shiver.

"d–daddy... faster!" you moaned and held onto him tightly, you begged him to go faster and he happily obliged.

"you want daddy to fuck a baby into ya? so you can't talk to any other guy? huh?" he roughly asked.

you nodded, "p–please daddy..." you begged him as he grinned.

"please what?" he teased as he slowed his pace making you whine.

"please, daddy. fill your babies in me..." you said out of pure pleasure and desire to come.

"i will, sweetheart... i will make you carry daddy's babies." he roughly talked to you.

"i-i'm nearing!" you moaned at his ear again and again as he felt you clench around him.

you closed your eyes in pleasure as it felt heavenly... you felt so good.

"not yet, baby, not until daddy says so. you don't want to upset daddy, right?" he asked you.

you shook your head with a whimper, "n–no, daddy... i'm sorry." you apologized.

"good girl." he praised you making you clench your walls around him tighter than ever.

all he felt was pure bliss, he can hardly move in your tightness against him, and it felt so good.

"please, daddy. let me come..." you moaned as you kissed him, he moved his lips into you roughly, his beard tickling you.

"wait for daddy, i'm almost near..." he threw back, you nodded and bit your lip, you can't wait anymore.

you need to come now, but you didn't want to upset him so you held yourself from cumming.

he thrusted faster, obviously nearing too. the sounds of skin slapping together along with moans and grunts was all the room was filled with.

his balls hit your ass every time he thrust and that's where you always knew he was deep into you, he always hit into your g-spot.

"cum with daddy, baby." he growled into your ear, his movements going fast.

you let out a loud pornographic moan as you came, panting as he thrust into you.

he slowed and you can feel the liquid inside you, his cum to be precise. he came inside you.

he pulled out slowly and dropped beside you, you both were breathless, trying to catch your breaths.

"t–that was my first time, thank you..." you shyly thanked him as it felt good, you'd rather it be him than anyone else.

"really, sweetheart? yer a virgin?" he teased making you shyly nod, he stood up from the bed and went to another room then came out with a white towel.

he pressed the towel into your cunt softly as he wiped your cum and his cum that was leaking out.

"you were so good fer daddy, baby. 'm proud." he admitted and patted your head as he placed the towel away, dressing you into another clean shirt of him and put you on your underwear, he also wore his underwear and got under the covers.

also covering you with it, you laid your head against his head.

you looked up at him and pressed a kiss on his jaw as you closed your eyes.

"sleep tight, baby." he ran his fingers through your wavy blonde hair as he pressed a kiss onto your head.

he never have felt so lucky before until now, he finally had you, and he was your first time.

he was for sure jealous earlier but the best thing ever came after it.

you and him, made love, fucked, had sex, or whatever you called it.

for him it was love, he had developed feelings for you back at the prison, the first time your group found the prison.

but as a dixon he always rejected it, pushing it deep down him and not acknowledging it.

but seeing you with that man and you angry at him, fueled something into him and it lead to this.

the only one great thing he could ask for besides safety, he was happy he found you through this world.

he loves you and adores you.