#I hope I didn't get anything wrong/forget anything major lol

[solradguy]

GUILTY GEAR VASTEDGE XT - FULL ARCHIVE

Yeah. The canon pachislot machine. Here's everything we have for it at the moment, including a bunch of files ripped from the Android port, concept art, and a Japanese transcript of the game's dialog.

ARCHIVE.ORG

=== FOLDER CONTENTS ===

VXT CONCEPT ART - Character model sheets

FIXED COLORS - Color-corrected model sheets

VXT DIALOG TRANSCRIPTS - Transcript of the Japanese text, partial English translation

VXT MESHES + SOUNDS + TEXTURES - Assets from the game itself (graphics, etc)

MESHES

SOUNDS

TEXTURES

VXT MOBILE APP RIPPED FILES - 2 .OBB and 1 .APK files ripped from the Android port

VXT VIDEOS - Footage of the gameplay and of the physical machine in action (there were some cool moving bits, like an animatronic Junkyard Dog MK.II)

VXT ANIMATED GAME ASSETS - Anything from the game that moved (cutscenes, UI assets, etc)

CREDITS + INFO.TXT - Informational text file. Also including the credits and additional info in that file here below the cut:

=== CONCEPT ART CREDITS ===

Mister Guest (via e-hentai) Volcanic Fighter (Twitter: nincopyjasb; Tumblr: @nincopyjasb) Shmuel (Twitter: shmuelbrain; Tumblr @shmuelbrain) Renexuz (Twitter: renexuz1; Tumblr: @renexuz)

=== DIALOG MANUSCRIPT COMPILATION & PARTIAL TRANSLATION ===

Volcanic Fighter (Twitter: nincopyjasb; Tumblr: @nincopyjasb) Dialog script original host (defunct): http://priban.gozaru.jp/ggv.html

=== MOBILE .APK & .OBB FILE RIPS ===

Lux (Twitter: xaeldritch) Nainsoo (Twitter: na_insoo)

=== ANIMATED & GRAPHICAL ASSETS, MUSIC, AND MESH RIPS ===

Tillman (Twitter: validtine; Tumblr: @tillman)

=== RESTORED & REMASTERED OPENING ANIMATION ===

Shmuel (Twitter: shmuelbrain; Tumblr: @shmuelbrain)

Original video hosts:

Youtube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-Vj8wymN3Q

Twitter: twitter.com/ShmuelBrain/status/1650153182725636098

=== ADDITIONAL THANKS ===

Shmuel (Twitter: shmuelbrain; Tumblr: @shmuelbrain) Renexuz (Twitter: renexuz1; Tumblr: @renexuz) The GG Lore Rev server

=== ARCHIVE COMPILATION ===

Sol Radguy

=== ADDITIONAL NOTES ===

About the archive - The files here were previously scattered across multiple websites and cloud storage services, making them difficult to acquire to those outside the small Guilty Gear archival group. I did my best to gather them all in one place. Please contact me if more files are discovered and I will add them to the archive upload on Archive.org.

The ripped mobile port files - The mobile version of Vastedge XT was only online and available to even download for around a year before the servers shut down. The two .OBB and one .APK file were ripped from the Android port of the game and are what Tillman ripped the animated assets, meshes, sounds, and textures from. A lot could not be ripped because it was stored on the game's servers. The encryption also makes ripping files from these difficult. It's possible there's more on them that was not able to be ripped.

Japanese file names - The original name of the .APK was ﾊﾟﾁｽﾛ GG_com.dtechno.slotguilty.apk and had to be renamed to be compressed into a .ZIP folder. If the file runs into errors during launch/cracking attempts, try reverting the name. Likewise, the Japanese names of the videos could not be compressed and were also translated. There is a separate .TXT file within VXT VIDEOS that includes their original Japanese file names.

Duplicate concept art images - There were two archives of the concept art. One was hosted on e-hentai by Mister Guest and contained the full, uncropped, images. The second was from a folder that Volcanic had compiled. Volcanic's files were a higher resolution, but were cropped and missing some information Mister Guest's files had. I've included them both here as well as the files from a third archive where an anonymous user on Imgur had restored the colors on the character models to match how they look in the game itself.

Neon colors on the concept art - The neon sections on these character model sheets are temporary/placeholder colors and not how they appeared within the Vastedge XT game. Their true colors can be seen in the videos within the VXT VIDEOS folder or in the FIXED COLORS folder within VXT CONCEPT ART.

Dialog transcripts - What we know of Vastedge's story came from official story summaries posted by Arc System Works on the Guilty Gear websites. The dialog is exactly that: character dialog. There may be lines missing, that are inaccurate (due to typos), or other written/spoken parts of VXT not included. It may be possible to get this missing information from the videos in VXT VIDEOS or from other VXT video sources online.

[cath-lic]

Thank you for your super sweet and kind response to my ask :) You're a wonderful person and I hope all is well today!

I wanted to say that your tags didn't hurt me! You didn't say anything wrong - there's sadly a number of converts who are highly reactionary. It was just the entire sentiment that I've heard time and time again from others. Many of whom can be ignorant on the topic, so it's just a bit of a frustrating experience and I wanted to share that with somebody who seems like they would understand :)

American Catholicism is... An interesting and disappointing case, and that often the core teachings of Christ and the Church tend to be watered down and twisted in order to fit political and often reactionary narratives. What I've found interesting is that, from my experience, the online reactionaries tend to be converts, and that the offline reactionaries tend to be cradle Catholics. I think it also manifests differently among cradle Catholics and converts. With converts, especially online ones, they're very vocal and loud, whereas it's a much more subtle, insidious problem among cradle Catholics. That's why I feel converts in general get the short end of the stick sometimes. The loud converts are so noticable that people want to focus on them, and end up ignoring cradle Catholics who the exact same thoughts and ideas because they happen to be quieter about it. Either way, it takes both to hold up reactionary Catholic organizations and movements, and I think people forget that. Also vast majority of people who have been nasty and judgemental towards me personally about the way I've received the Eucharist in the past, about my own queerness, about how my femininity isn't exactly traditional, and the fact that I wear pants as a woman (yes, this actually happened) have been cradle Catholics.

It's just a really complex and unfortunate situation and aspect of the current state of the Church in the USA, and I think it really runs deep within a lot of people regardless of their status :( but I've got tons of hope :)

ah, hello again! happy to hear back from you!!

i absolutely agree with your points, especially on how uniquely warped (both positive and negative, lol) american catholicism is. there’s actually 2 books i really want to read on the subject—the making of american catholicism and american catholic history.

like me, my mom is a cradle catholic, and i’ve definitely found myself butting heads with her on issues i thought would be obvious (e.g. divorced people being able to receive communion). it can be fascinating to watch (and try and debate), considering she’s liberal, but not “online” at all.

when attending various churches, i do definitely get the feeling that though they might not be loud about their views sometimes, they aren’t going to budge. most, if not all, have a sector dedicated to pro-life activities, which, as a pro-choice person myself, makes me pretty uncomfortable. (though i understand that finding a pro-choice catholic church is like finding a needle in a haystack. beggars can’t be choosers, i suppose).

so sorry to hear that you’ve faced this outrageous opposition. gender is a touchy subject in america (as though it ever wasn’t), and i really despise how american catholics are making a golden calf out of gender roles.

i myself have faced some issues re: gender presentation, so i know how you feel on some fronts. i can’t believe that they actually shamed you for wearing pants 😭 seriously!

thank you for another message, my sibling. it was great to hear back from you ❤️ have a blessed Sunday!

[keyootyyyy]

natlan trailer dropped, and so did my expectations lol. but on an honest note, i really shouldn't have had my hopes up after what happened in sumeru.

so many people are speaking out about it, including va's and some cc's, and i'm glad about it and it's time for me to lay out what i think about it.

so natlan, the nation that is based off of latin america, have characters that are paper-white. for a nation that is based off the cultures and traditions of latin americans, you'd expect atleast proper rep right? ehh, wrong. the best we got was tan skin.

honestly, for a game that has a world based off on real life regions, i expected more poc. "b-but latin america has white people too!" yeah, but this is a situation that we focus on the majority, rather than the minority. poc in major media is still pretty new in the past few years, so the least hoyo could do with such a big fanbase with genshin is represent them properly.

"if you don't like it, don't play it!" the problem is not my enjoyability with the game, rather, like i said earlier, the big fanbase of it. genshin has many users, and some of them are young. when people stumble into something they like, it can also influence them. so imagine if they start thinking that latin american people have lighter skin than what they actually have.

and let's not forget the issue i heard most about, hoyo using the gods and deities of latin american culture and proceeding to white wash them. the only resemblance i can see the characters have with them are the names, and from what i've heard they didn't even do it right.

hoyo has already reached success, whether it's in genshin, hsr, or hi3. so making black characters that aren't an npc or enemy won't be their downfall. hoyo is a big company, they have the ability to not make every character white so that they can match with the aesthetics.

with that said, that's all my thoughts for now. feel free to correct me if i get anything wrong, thank you!

[tealenko]

Didn't Have the Heart (Chapter 9)

Chapter 9: Comparative Study of the Alliance Dress Uniform

You know that thing where you say: I'm not posting anything until I finish my fic (an then you don't finish it in 3 more months) XDDDD Well... Here we are.

So... Hi! I'm back (glad to be, tbh) and ecstatic to FINALLY have a new chapter for this fic lol

Anyways, as promised: I never abandon a fic (it just takes me a lot of time XDDD) so here we go, ch.9!!

Summary: The quarian admiral attacks the dreadnought while Shepard's team is still on board and, as expected, Kaidan doesn't take it too well. Neither does she. Surprisingly, that's not the only way their self-control gets tested in such a short time for, after dealing with all that, they'll need to find the strength of going back to work and not getting lost into one another.

Words: 10450 Rating: Explicit Warnings: oral sex, good old table sex happens too

Read in AO3 -> [link]

Previous Chapter -> [link] Next Chapter -> [link] All Chapters -> [link] Through Hell and Back series -> [link]

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Kaidan walks furiously through the main deck.

He has changed from his combat armor to his uniform so fast that Shepard is still putting on her hoodie by the time he exits the room.

“Shit.” She says, standing up to follow him, doing all she can to finish getting dressed while she walks as fast as possible, in an attempt to catch Kaidan.

Shepard knows that, if the doors of the Normandy weren’t automated, his exit of the room would’ve been accompanied by a loud slam noise, so she follows him, her heart pounding with immeasurable strength against her chest, quite afraid of what he is going to do next.

She manages to narrow the gap between them as they cross the main deck, to the point where, once they pass the meeting room, she’s already close enough to talk to him.

“Major…”

Shepard calls for him, stopping to catch her breath and expecting him to do the same.

But he doesn’t, and that gives Kaidan more than enough time to enter the war room before her.

“... Shit.”

She is expecting to hear him yell the moment the door closes behind him.

A “What the hell is wrong with you!?” or a “Fucking moron”, resounding through the entire ship, followed by the natural response of the rest of the crew and the quarian Admiralty Board.

Maybe a yell back, from admiral Gerrel, screaming some poor excuse at him, in a pointless attempt of justifying his actions.

Or perhaps Legion is already inside the room, which would make the whole ordeal even worse, complicating the situation into something that she no longer has the capacity to picture.

“Shit…”

In just a second, countless different situations pass through her thoughts, each of them worse than the previous one. But, despite all that, her expectations fall dead.

There she is, frozen next to the door that separates her from all these terrifying scenarios, and instead of any of them, all she is able to hear is silence.

And that, no matter how much she thinks about it, scares her even more.

When Shepard finally makes it into the room, she finds exactly what she was hoping she wouldn’t: Kaidan already facing the member of the Admiralty Board that she expected him to be yelling at.

Nevertheless, the silence continues, and not only on Kaidan’s behalf.

She examines the room with care to find the overall reaction to the whole situation.

The bulk of the Alliance soldiers inside the war room appear almost as mad as the mayor, trying their best to hide the relief of having a superior officer who is willing to do what they cannot without jeopardizing their rank.

In fact, the few left that do not want Kaidan to rip out the throat of the quarian in question, are only excluded from that group because they are closer to the door, and the sudden appearance of Shepard has startled them enough to make them forget about their anger.

The silence doesn’t stop there.

The rest of the members of the meeting, the two other quarian admirals, plus the one Kaidan is now facing, seem to have lost their words too, although for completely different reasons.

Admiral Raan doesn’t know where to hide, too embarrassed by the behavior of her fellow board member to know what to say to excuse it.

Admiral Xen, on the other hand, is too busy basking in the glory of their small victory to notice there’s anything else happening in the room.

And last, but definitely not least, there’s admiral Gerrel, now the center of most eyes in the room, who, despite what anyone else would have deemed wise, is not even showing a hint of remorse about his actions.

Instead, he just faces Kaidan with an arrogant tone in his posture, too entranced by his own inner monologue to grasp that almost everyone in the room is eager to punch him.

“Major…” She decides to break the silence, instantly capturing the attention of everyone in the room, except for the one person she was truly aiming to gain.

Kaidan not only keeps staring at the quarian, but he does not even seem to notice Shepard’s presence in the room.

She takes a deep breath and begins walking, thanking whichever god might be listening for their intervention while silently praying so that she'll be able to reach them before what she is fearing starts to happen.

Unluckily for her, it starts to happen.

She goes as fast as she’s able, not wanting to run and add up to the whole dramatic atmosphere, and makes it next to them just in time to see how Kaidan’s silence finally comes to an end.

“Explain.” He demands, more than asks, with a glacial tone of voice, raising his head to lock eyes directly with the quarian.

“Alenko…” She tries one more time but, once again, her voice vanishes into the air without getting any kind of response.

Shepard lowers her head a little, her attention immediately drawn to his hand, clenched into a fist as he struggles to keep all his emotions to himself, and the absence of yells finally makes sense to her.

A flicker of guilt blinks through her face as her heart skips a beat due to her initial assumption, almost ashamed for thinking that, after everything he’s had to endure, he would snap like that in front of everyone.

I should’ve known… She blames herself, her mind piecing together thousands of memories of Kaidan. I should’ve known.

The thought of it starts to haunt her for a second but, right on the verge of getting lost in it, she manages to follow his example and conquer her own feelings.

That’s why he’s standing here in silence, with all his strength focused on his own self-control. That’s why he cannot even hear me.

Shepard feels a strong pressure against her heart, while the many histories he told her about his past keep playing inside her head.

There’s now a mix of sadness and sorrow invading her, as she wonders how he manages to remain stoic where she knows she probably wouldn’t. A small hint of shame follows right after, feeling guilty for thinking that he wouldn’t either.

“Explain? I do not think…” 

Before the quarian has the opportunity to further provoke him into going against everything she just deciphered, Shepard gives it one more try, extending her arm to touch him, placing her hand on top of his shoulder.

“Kaidan...” He finally notices her presence.

His hand unclenches the moment he sees her, his entire demeanor easing up within seconds just because of her presence.

“Mio…” 

Sounds more similar to a spell than to a normal word, a whisper that chants her name almost as a call for help.

“I'll take it from here, Major.” She says in a surprisingly calm tone of voice, taking into account everything that just happened.

Kaidan takes a deep breath in and out before dedicating her a tired smile and a nod.

“Of course, Commander.” There’s a sense of relief in his voice as he says this, almost as if he wasn't fully convinced either that his self-control would be enough this time around.

Kaidan takes a step back, positioning himself next to Shepard for a couple of seconds before she decides to take one forwards in order to face the admiral.

Any doubts left about the magnitude of the levels of self-control he managed to accomplish, are instantly erased the moment she takes his place, not even wasting a second before engaging with the quarian. 

“Now…” She says, with a deep tone in her voice, ready to ask for the exact same but with way more anger than Kaidan did only a few seconds ago, taking her time to formulate the whole word. “Explain.”

If there was tension in the room before, now it has escalated into something even more serious, and it seems that the only one who isn’t able to notice it is the focus of it all, still too blinded by his own inner narrative to understand what everyone else is thinking.

“Explain what?”

Shepard raises one of her eyebrows and, for a second, she doesn’t know how to react to his behavior. Nevertheless, and luckily for her, that confused pause opens a window so that someone else explodes in anger right before she does.

“Explain what!?” Admiral Raan half yells at him, doing her best to control her tone of voice. “Your unilateral strike endangered us all! I should charge you with treason.”

Gerrel stares at her for a second, almost surprised that his fellow board member was the one to pronounce those words.

“I was within my authority as admiral of the Heavy Fleet!” He replies, his voice resonating through the tense atmosphere of the room.  

“And what of Shepard? And Tali’Zorah?”

The admiral almost lets a laugh out, finding utterly absurd that his actions could be considered reprehensible.

For a moment, he turns to look at the commander and, even though his face is not visible, the way he moves is more than enough to convey how little significance he gives to both her and the rest of the people who were aboard the dreadnought.

As a whole, he regards the discussion as a complete waste of time, truly unbothered by the gravity of the accusations against him, only annoyed by the fact that people are still yelling at him.

His next decision, unfortunately, is to reply in the exact same fashion. And that, it’s what finally does it.

No one who knows the slightest thing about Shepard would ever mistake her for being short-tempered.

In fact, something that often surprises those around her, the more you get to know her, the more it seems like her patience is limitless. The few that had the chance to really know her, can attest that the assumption is indeed true.

This becomes really evident once you understand the reason behind it.

Survival has been the sole focus of Shepard’s life since she can remember and, to achieve that, she had to learn how not to feel, how not to talk and, most importantly, how not to behave.

And she’s exceptionally good at it.

The insults never bothered her, even before her life started crumbling, when she was only a child with dreams and emotions still untouched. 

Everything she knew vanished and despite the horrors of her upbringing, or perhaps because of them, her insight and self-control never failed her.

So, when she got into the Alliance and had to endure the questioning looks and comments about her background, her education, her origins, her gender, her abilities and even about the way she breathed, she was more than used to let everything slide, feeling almost entertained by the prospect of seeing the face of everyone who ever dared to judge her after proving them wrong.

She even got through Cerberus without losing control.

Except for once.

But, even then, she was able to keep it all to herself and paid it later with the wall. That specific wall that now has a twin dent to match that one, added quite recently by her own helmet when she threw it against it.

Nevertheless, one could say, without any trace of hesitation, that after saving the universe an absurd amount of times in the last four years, being dead for two of them to come back to life… The breakups, countless confrontations, battles and way too many conversations with politicians, two dents in a wall, and a broken hand after causing the first of them, are indeed a sign of never-seen before self-control.

And nothing could be more true. 

To this day, Shepard's ability to keep calm, or at least to fake it, even in the middle of the wildest tempest she encounters, hasn’t met an equal match yet, not even in Kaidan.

Stoic against every single thing she faces.

Or at least until today.

For, with all said and done, everyone has their limits, even her, and against his better judgment, this quarian that now stands in front of her, with an inexplicable air of moral superiority, has chosen to cross hers to uncharted territories.

“They escaped unharmed! Shepard, the mission parameters changed.”

She looks at him almost in awe at his stupidity, baffled by every word that comes out of the quarian's mouth.

Unsure of what else to do, feeling the anger growing inside of her at an unprecedented speed, she decides to opt for a classic technique, a last attempt to maintain composure, and starts counting to ten inside her head.

One, two…

“You’re military. You understand that.”

She never makes it to three.

“I understand that you wasted your chance to withdraw safely!”

The room falls into complete silence for a moment, the air heavy with extreme disbelief. Everyone in it, whether Alliance soldier or not, wears a shocked expression on their face, completely stunned by Shepard’s reply to the quarian. 

“You want to sacrifice your fleet in exchange for nothing, be my guest. But for me, my people come first so, if you aren’t able to control your egomaniacal outbursts, I will not hesitate, even for a second, to abandon all the quarians to the demise you are so eager to lead them to. Do you copy me!?”

“It was the right decision, Shepard.” The admiral’s voice shifts a little, losing the condescending tone, but with the same overall feeling as he adds: “I will not apologize for it. We are at war with the Geth!”

Shepard’s eyes narrow at his response, her patience stretched to its limits as she closes her hand into a fist and, while the rest of the room remains in shock, Kaidan, who is witnessing the small gesture from an unmatched perspective, quickly understands what’s going to happen next.

“That’s the fucking problem, we are at war with the reapers!” Her voice raises even more than before. “The geth are not the ones you should be fighting, they are! And, if you aren’t gonna do anything about it, at least have the decency of not trying to blow up the ones that are trying to stop them!”

“The dreadnought was a perfect targ…” 

What Kaidan was fearing becomes a reality and, before the admiral has time to finish his sentence, Shepard closes the small gap between them. 

Her arm seems to move back on its own, accumulating more than a tone of tension and, before any other thought crosses her head, she punches the admiral right into the middle of his stomach.

“Ugh!”

Even Kaidan is surprised, despite seeing the punch coming from afar, not expecting the strength it carried along with it, understanding now the amount of anger accumulated in Shepard’s body.

“Admiral, you jeopardized your mission, your people and my people!” The last two words almost choke at her throat, her vocal cords tensing with anger. “Now, get the hell off my ship.”

The way she says ‘my people’ gives Kaidan everything he needs to understand the source of her rage.

She isn’t mad that they almost killed her… She’s furious because they almost killed us… Killed me.

He stares at Shepard, who is too focused on deep breathings to notice the way he is looking at her, with a tint of half guilty and half relief painting her face as she witnesses admiral Gerrel, with one hand glued to his stomach, struggling a bit to walk as he exits the room. 

Knowing what comes next, Kaidan tries his best to reach her, not sure what he'll do once he's next to her, but wanting to be there nonetheless.

Unfortunately, the madness of the whole situation quickly claims her attention, and before he’s even able to take more than a step, she’s already into damage control mode.

Despite fully knowing that she’s been way harsher than it is proper or allowed, she doesn’t apologize for it, and even though she regains her usual peaceful demeanor, the tone of her speech remains the same, exposing without hesitation the damage that admiral Gerrel’s actions could do to their alliance.

Once Kaidan is sure that the fire is over, and aware that there’s nothing he can add or do to help her, he takes a step back from the whole situation and lets her alone to deal with the whole ordeal as she recovers little by little some of that stoic persona that she adopts whenever she deals with politicians.

Still, he wants to talk to her about everything that just happened, so he decides to leave the room and walk to her cabin, a more suitable environment to have that kind of conversation.

When Shepard is eventually free and retires herself to her quarters, Kaidan is already inside waiting for her.

“I know, I know…” She sighs and huffs, stating out loud her thoughts from the moment she enters through the door . “I know.”

Kaidan smiles, which he knows he shouldn’t, but is unable to help it, finding her reaction too charming to avoid it.

There’s a second where he almost considers to lecture her about her behavior, but the idea never gets to fully form, knowing he would’ve probably ended up doing the same thing if it wasn’t for her intervention.

Instead he just sighs, placing one hand on his hip as he waits for her on the other side of the room, maintaining the smile that adorns his face.

The sweet view relaxes her a little, grateful to have Kaidan’s support through all this madness.

“I know I shouldn’t have punched him.” She declares while crossing her room in record time to sit on the bed and take off her boots. “I know.”

Kaidan starts to sense the heavy amount of stress building up on her, aware that, despite what everyone else wanted, she must not be happy with the way her body took that decision without listening to her brain.

“It’s alright… It'll be, at least.” He sits next to her, resting his right foot on top of his knee. “Nothing you can do about it now…” He lets his body fall a little towards her, nudging her shoulder. “Just focus on the next step, that’s all left to do.”

“Urgg…” She groans, letting all her weight fall to lie on the bed. “Yeah… I guess it’s all damage control now.”

He turns a little to look at her, watching her as she goes through every detail on her mind.

“Luckily I’ve somehow managed to end up on the victorious end of the exchange with the rest of the quarians.” She says out loud, both to process the state of the situation and to inform him of what he missed.  “Maybe because of Tali’s intervention once you left, or because admiral Raan wanted to hit him as much as I did, we’ll never know, but at least I haven’t broken any potential alliance… Yet.”

“Yet? You sell yourself short, Shepard.”

“You were there too, Alenko.”

“Yeah, and would’ve been the one to hit the admiral if it weren’t for you.” He lies next to her, turning a little to face her before he continues. “Everyone would’ve… We’re human, after all.”

He laughs a little but she doesn’t follow, which is enough for him to understand there’s something else bothering her.

“What are you afraid to break, then?”

She almost smiles, amazed and elated, even after all this time, by the fact that she doesn’t even need to talk for him to understand her.

“I’ve called for another meeting, conclave… Whatever you wish to call it.” Shepard sighs, dreading even the thought of it. “Part of the damage control, and to see if we can do something about all this shitshow.”

“A meeting?”

“Yup. Two quarian admirals, three, counting Tali, Garrus will be there too, representing primark Victus and, if my messages are correct, I think Wrex will attend from remote using the quantum comm system which, I’m already fearing, is gonna be something for the books, if you ask me.”

She brings her arm to her head, covering her eyes, counting the many things that could go wrong as she speaks.

“And to tie it all up, Legion is gonna be there too, as spokesperson… Spokespeople?” She considers the term for a moment. “Spokesmachine? Who knows…” Shepard laughs a little at her own comment, not knowing what else to do. “To represent the geth consensus, basically. Because the situation wasn’t difficult enough already.”

She is expecting Kaidan to say something but, when he doesn’t, moves her arm back to its normal resting place so she can look at him.

Shepard recognizes the expression on his face right away, but not knowing the cause of it, she just waits with an inquisitive look for him to share his concerns.

“So…” Kaidan finally says, while trying to link everything inside his mind. “You befriended a geth…”

She’s shocked for a few seconds until her thoughts catch up with her and understands that, the thing that’s so natural for her right now, may seem close to impossible from the outside. 

An intelligent machine not only saved her life, twice now, but also helped her take down the collectors and, she’s quickly realizing, that all that information must be quite new for Kaidan.

“Ah, yeah…” She laughs, still not knowing what else to do, moving a little in order to face him.

Her first instinct is to come up with an explanation, but the whole story seems so complicated that she doesn’t even know where to start.

“You’ll see…” She tries her best to explain. “Last year, was a bit weird…”

“That’s an understatement.”

They both start laughing, for real this time around.

“I mean, I read the reports that said you were working with a geth but… I don’t know. I needed to see it to believe it, I guess.” Kaidan adds as he smiles. “Talks a lot about that quarian admiral though.”

“What?”

“Well, you were able to make an ally of the geth. How stupid do you have to be to anger someone who’s that diplomatic?” Kaidan laughs, a bit in disbelief. “You even managed to peacefully deal with the rachni, holy shit… And that moron singlehanded succeeded in making you punch him in less than three minutes.”

“I guess…”

There’s a moment of silence there before she decides to continue.

“I’m assuming you’ll have questions…” He looks at her with confusion. “Bout the whole Legion thing.”

He doesn’t give the idea a second thought before replying to her comment.

“No, it’s okay.” There’s a hint of astonishment on her face as he begins to explain himself. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m still surprised, but I mean… You called it, them, your friends. That’s more than enough for me.” He smiles at her. “I trust you.”

Shepard sighs a little, relieved and overwhelmed by the feeling caused by the way he just said that.

“Thanks…” She barely whispers, turning to face him and scooting a bit closer in order to kiss him.

“My pleasure.” The smile on his face deepens even more. “I’d like to hear the whole story one day if we ever have the time, though. If you don’t mind.”

“Sure.” Shepard mirrors his expression, moving one hand to rest on his chest. 

She lets her head fall a little, giving him a place to rest his own. 

The scent of her shampoo greets him as an old friend, mixed with the usual hints of sweat, blood and deodorant that surrounds any Alliance soldier who puts a foot into the battlefield.

Kaidan wonders what he must smell like right now, a thought that almost tempts him to break the closeness between them but, despite his worries, he stays there for a while, glued to her, only moving to comb some of her hair behind her ear.

The gesture makes her move a little in order to face him and is quickly welcomed by a warm and tired smile, their gaze locking into one, choosing the dangerous prospect of losing themselves into each other’s eyes.

There’s an unspoken second of devotion there. One of those moments that appear to float in wonder instead of being grounded to reality. Feelings so deep and solid that almost seem to pierce themselves into their owners’ hearts.

Just for a moment, everything else disappears, except for them, floating alone in a realm of their own, with the pressure of all their feelings carving its way into their souls.

Only for a second, they are truly alone. Alone in her room but also alone to each other, no thought of anything else but them occupying their minds.

However, rare miracles do not last for long, and this one is not an exception. 

What comes fast disappears at the same pace, and before it can survive any longer, she makes sure to break it before it escalates to something even deeper.

The pressure of so many feelings pounding inside her chest is something she’s still getting used to but, above everything, she fears the many hours that this moment may grow into if she lets it happen.

She doesn’t let it happen.

With her previously shattered self-control now fully recovered, she puts an end to it, lowering the two of them back to reality with a single move, shifting her head to look at her wardrobe as she tries to focus on her work again.

“Anyways,” she stretches her neck, “I should be getting ready…” The last word loses its strength as it comes out of her mouth, eyes still fixed on the furniture in question.

There's a split second of silence there, as Kaidan returns back to his own self too.

“What, don’t wanna enter a room full of politicians wearing your hoodie?” He teases her, once he’s able.

“Wish I could…” She stands up from the bed in record time, facing her dresser with a slightly annoyed look on her face. “Now, let's see if I can do something to undo the grave the quarians have dug for themselves.”

Kaidan stands up too, knowing that both their moment and their conversation have come to an end and, after a good luck said as a farewell, he starts walking towards the door at an unhurried pace.

To his eyes, she seems to feel better, which makes him feel better too, but only a few steps afar from the door he hears a subtle sigh, and that's more than enough to make him stop and turn, seeing her pull out her formal clothes almost with disgust.

Unsure of what else to do, tired of over analyzing everything, Kaidan puts his brain to rest for a little and just does what comes natural for him.

“You know, if you need help…” He tells her from the other side of the room. “You only need to ask.”

She smiles a little, her mind making a thousand innuendos before she understands the true meaning behind his words.

“Oh, with the meeting.”

“Yeah… With the meeting.” 

He starts walking all the way back to her. 

It takes him perhaps three seconds to get there, but they pack many thoughts in between them to not develop them further.

The first is dedicated exclusively to deciphering her words, followed by another to process them.

The last one, is fully focused on drafting an effective comeback.

Despite being a pure and innocent offer at the beginning, he quickly understands in which way her mind has twisted his words to cause hers and, more than willing to follow the path she’s taken for the both of them, Kaidan savors his possibilities, unable to avoid smiling a little on his lasts steps back to her.

“More than glad to help with anything you need, ma’am.”

The reply takes her by surprise, giving him the opportunity to rest his hands on her waist before she’s able to reply, an ability that’s completely lost the moment he tugs from her to close the little gap left between them. 

There’s something close to shock in her expression, mixed with shyness and excitement on equal parts, and the view of it makes Kaidan smile even further.

He considers for an instant the path his actions could lead to but, no matter how much all of him would like to walk right through it, it’s now his turn to exercise the same self-control she displayed less than a minute ago, so he pulls back, just as she did, before he is no longer able to do so.

Kaidan grins from ear to ear, scouring the room as he attempts to teach his body to follow his wishes or, better said, to not fully follow them.

“Sorry, it wasn’t my initial motivation…” He clears his throat. “I swear.”

Shepard smiles as he says that, always happy to see Kaidan forget his formal ways around her.

“But, in all seriousness now, I can go to the meeting if you need me to.” He stares at her. “You know I don’t mind these things as much as you do.”

Shepard sighs, considering the prospects of his proposal.

“It would be nice.” She takes a few seconds to consider the idea. “I mean… I fear that if I go in there alone I’m gonna strangle somebody, or something worse.”

“You only need to ask, Mio.” 

The mention of her name warms her heart in a way that she would’ve deemed impossible a few years ago, finding relief in what used to haunt her not too long ago. 

Shepard doesn’t need to give it a second thought before accepting his offer. 

“Mind to join me, Kaidan?”

There’s no hesitation on his answer either.

“Whatever you command.” 

He closes the distance again and, without breaking eye contact, grabs her hand and vows a little to kiss it, not leaving more than an inch between them as he recovers his posture. “I should go change into my formal uniform then…”

There’s an audible gulp.

She almost loses it again, needing to break eye contact and quickly pulling her hand from his grasp, taking a step backwards while her mind keeps yelling control in an endless loop inside her head.

“Later…” She kinda mumbles, unable to talk any louder. 

Kaidan leaves the room after that, smiling from ear to ear, and with a: “Yeah… Later” whispered as his last reply before he exits.

After a much needed moment to recover, she turns her attention back to the wardrobe.

The smile is lost in an instant and, the feelings that seemed to be the biggest threat to distract her from her dutty only a moment ago, are quickly forgotten as her hands reach for her formal uniform once again.

The sigh that comes out of her is even deeper this time around, with almost hints of disgust mixed with it as she stares at her clothes.

Shepard’s relationship with her uniform was a tumultuous one from her very beginning at the Alliance.

She wasn’t alone in her feelings, of course, there were many who didn’t like the design, nor the fit, but Shepard never cared enough about fashion to even consider them part of the problem.

After her humble and more than rocky path to adulthood, she had never had the chance to develop a style of her own, nor had the means to afford it, so the way the uniform looked never bothered her at all.

For Shepard clothing was all about functionality, and she only needed two things present in whatever she was wearing: protection and comfort.

This last one, was where she started to have problems with the Alliance uniform.

Her regular clothes weren’t as bad as her gala attire, but there were hard edges where she didn’t want them, itchy seams here and there, and a belt so big that almost forced her to remain standing if she didn’t want it poking into her skin.

The formal uniform had all these defects as well, but added many more to the mix, making it even more difficult to move her body while wearing it.

Nevertheless she wore it without complaining and, at the beginning, it was only a minor inconvenience that she quickly learned to live with.

It wasn’t until she was four years into the Alliance that a new factor was added to the discomfort.

Even before Akuse, her ideals had already begun to crumble as she gained insight into the inner workings of the Alliance. However, the consequences of said mission, along with the factors that led to its failure, were more than enough to taint Shepard’s vision of the Alliance to a whole new level.

And the clothing, that only used to matter for protection and comfort, earned a third attribute on her list, as she realized they were also a symbol. A symbol she no longer wanted to wear.

Because of that, an unconscious behavior more than a deliberate choice, she began to avoid wearing it as much as she could, staying longer in her combat gear than needed and choosing civilian clothes in leaves, not wanting to wear it more than it was mandatory.

Thinking about all this she starts to take her current clothes.

The pants are so old that there are no longer traces of the Alliance insignia and, both the t-shirt and the jacket that used to cover it, were abandoned long ago, are now replaced for their N7 equivalents: a black tank top and a hoodie.

She takes off this last one and lets it fall to the ground, granting her full view of her own arms.

The sight of them perturbs her a little, as it’s been doing for more than a year now, looking at the perfect and immaculate skin that adorns them as if it was a curse.

The scars, the scratches, the tattoos… Even most of her moles are gone, courtesy of Cerberus, and the idea of it saddens her more than she could’ve ever imagined.

The arms aren’t the only ones that got that treatment and, as she takes off her pants, she remembers what her legs felt like, burning inside of her suit as was stranding in space, suffocating, just before crashing into Alchera.

“Geth attacks my ass…” She mumbles, as the view of her legs reminisce her of the excruciating pain that’s no longer marked into her skin, but which memory will forever scorch inside of her. 

She half grunts while kicking the discarded clothes closer to the wardrobe.

“Ah yeah… The reapers.”

Shepard imitates the tone that was used on her the first time she heard the comment, feeling the long years that she spent screaming about the upcoming war pressuring onto her heart. 

The first but not last. She tried many, countless times, but almost no one in the Alliance listened to her and, the few that did, didn’t move a finger either.

“Not true, they put me in charge once they could no longer deny their existence.” 

She adds in a satiric tone of voice, half laughing with a hint of despair. 

Shepard stares at the ceiling for a second, bottling back most of her anger while taking a deep breath.

“Happy thoughts, Mio… Happy thoughts.” Her brain goes back to the past but, this time around, in search of something that helps her to put on her clothes. “Anderson did try to help you. He’s still trying.”

A smile, a faint and weak smile, but a smile nonetheless, appears on her face as she focuses on that thought.

It’s not a lot but is enough to get her started, and as she begins to get into her formal uniform, her mind travels to a well known place.

It’s always more bitter than sweet, to think about her early days in the Alliance after what happened in Akuze, but for some reason this time around it isn’t.

Right now, her will is just looking for the good things hidden behind her suffering and, almost unknowingly, she engages in a well too practiced routine, a personal mantra of her own, and just focuses on the one thing that’s keeping her in the Alliance: the people.

Not the high ups, the corrupted or the politicians, but the soldiers, the individuals she’s met throughout the years, the people that actually get things done.

With every new item of clothing she names one of them inside her head. 

The bulk of the list has been dead for a while now, or will be soon, she fears, thanks to the war. But, no matter what, they’re still worth fighting for.

And just like that, the names travel through her mind creating a bittersweet road for her will to travel while she gets ready, for all intents and purposes, for her next battle. 

The uniform is finally on and, almost as if the universe did it to annoy her, it fits her perfectly.

The seams align themselves right where they’re supposed to, the length of the sleeves is immaculate and even the trousers, which she usually has problems finding ones that aren’t too short for her height, end right after her ankle, offering a clear view of her new and uncomfortable shoes.

Her whole uniform is in fact new, not only the shoes, which somehow makes her hate it even more. 

You have to wear it down to earn it. Shepard adds, in her mind, as she fixes the final details, the long lost words of an old mentor that would be entirely lost, if not for her.

One last look into the mirror, an exhale and a nod. Then she’s ready to leave.     

Shepard goes all the way from her cabin to the main deck, heading to the war room and, to her dismay, she notices the effect the uniform is having among the crew of the Normandy.  

Everyone stands more stiffly than usual, quicker, looks focused on her when she passes by them and whispers of anticipation once she leaves, unknowingly reacting to this image of Shepard that is so unusual for them.

She takes a second once she makes it to her destiny, readjusting the stiff collar of the jacket, and breathes deeply before entering the room. The moment she puts a foot on it, the whole mood changes.

Thanks to her hesitation while dressing herself, Shepard is indeed fashionably late but, once she crosses the threshold of the door, her own worries and preferences are gone and, despite being the last one to enter the room, the way she carries herself quickly gains everyone's attention.                                                               

All looks are now on her, but hers are intentionally focusing on no one.

There’s a strange feeling that tells Shepard that, if anyone else gets a word in edgeways, she will lose control of the meeting and everyone will start to yell at each other. So she starts talking the second she sets foot in the room, exposing all the collected intel while doing her best to target her eyes at the exposed data, fearing that looking at anyone would give them the idea to say anything at all.

To her favor, the strategy works extremely well for a while, with everyone more focused on Shepard than in the grudge they hold against each other.

Nevertheless, she cannot talk forever and, just as she feared, the moment she stops, Hell quickly gets loose and everyone starts to gradually yell in order to be heard.

Garrus maintains a civil voice at the beginning but, in his endeavor of balancing his attention, he ends up forgetting his manners, dividing his efforts between exposing the turian’s priorities, as a representative of primark Victus, and helping Tali with anything she attempts to say.                                                                             

Despite trying his best, Tali’s voice is muffled by many others, screaming at each other while she attempts with all her will, but still fails, to keep the peace between all the races present there.                                                                                 

To her dismay, the voices that are more distinguishable right now are the ones talking without basic peace at mind, combining into a loud mix of many questionable ideas and opinions.

We have the intertwined with static voice of Wrex, yelling incoherent things over the comm system, extremely mad at the quarians after learning what the now not present admiral did to the dreadnought while Shepard was still in it.

The two other admirals, to add into the chaos, are way too busy with their own discussion to pay any kind of attention or reply to his complaints. 

Raan is entranced in a monologue about the importance of sending a team to rescue Admiral Koris that, in all fairness, would be making way more sense if she wasn’t fighting at the same time against Xen’s attempts to discredit her, interested in taking the upper hand of the meeting and only stopping her remarks here and there to express her willingness to dismantle Legion at any given opportunity. 

Legion, on their part, is surprisingly, and despite all this, the more sane voice among the group, stating only the given facts and doing extremely well at countering the admiral’s attempts to deconstruct them. 

Unfortunately, everything they say gets immediately lost in the general chaos of the room.

Anyone else would have followed the example of the rest of the members of the meeting: screaming until I am heard. But not Legion.

After analyzing everything in nanoseconds, they come to the conclusion that any intervention will be disregarded, so Legion, instead of adding to the general madness, decide that stepping back and gathering data to process it is a better use of their time.

After many attempts to regain control of the room, Shepard gives up too, but for a completely different reason.                                                                                    

She’s had a very long day, and comes to the conclusion that, the best way to go through this, is to let them yell to each other as much as they need. So she just takes a few steps backwards and rests her weight against the glass walls, taking a few seconds to breathe.

For the first time since she entered the room, she raises her head and sees the only member who’s been silent through the entire meeting.

Kaidan is on the opposite side of the room, a bit separated from the others, trying his best to understand each and every point of view, with hands supporting some of his weight as they rest on top of the table that’s in between all of them.

So she raises her head, looks at Kaidan and, for the first time in her life, the Alliance dress uniform suddenly feels like the most beautiful thing she’s ever witnessed.

She looks away for a moment, but her eyes quickly betray her and move back to him for, no matter how much self-control anyone has developed throughout the entire history of the current cycle of life in their galaxy, and the many before this one, it would never be enough to not make her look again, not enough to avoid forgetting about this whole entire meeting and is not enough, and would never be enough, to keep her from staring in awe.

So, while the rest of the people gathered there are way too busy half screaming at one another, the only thing that remains for her is Kaidan, and the table that selfishly separates them.

Of course, to her eyes, Kaidan is always handsome, breathtaking on most occasions, but the formal uniform is having an effect on her that she could've never anticipated.

Details that she considered deeply annoying only a few minutes ago, turn quickly into reasons to keep looking at him. Her eyes, no longer under her control, go deep into an extensive study of the matter. 

The uniform doesn’t seem more used than hers but, under further inspection, she notices it’s an older model than her own.

Way older, not old fashioned or runned down, but she can tell that, apart from the jacket, more recently acquired after his promotion, the rest of the pieces have details no longer featured in newer versions.

Nevertheless, this is something visible perhaps only for Shepard, having both the in-depth knowledge about the Alliance formal wear and the interest in scanning the mayor’s body whenever the opportunity is presented.

So, to everyone else, it only looks like any other dress uniform, kept in perfect condition and apparently brand new, perhaps a little ill fitting if one wanted to compare it to Shepard’s, which it’s been chosen with her current measurements in mind.

But, after all, saying that something is ill fitting, is a more subjective term than one may imagine.

What is clear is that, after many years of training, the attire is a bit smaller than it should, thanks to the gained muscle throughout his career, making even the jacket, despite being the newest addition to the outfit, suit quite tightly against his body.

To some degree that could be considered ill fitting, especially for the more ruthless and old school officers, but, for Shepard, the general opinion is quite the opposite and, what she has in mind to describe it, would fall closer to distracting than to ill fitting.

Kaidan turns to talk with Legion, perhaps because they seem like the only ones in the room willing to listen and, after a few moments in their conversation, she sees him smile a little, just a little, but it’s more than enough to be extremely heartwarming. 

He, even more than her, had been fed for years into having animosity against the geth, institutionalized in their upbringing in the Alliance and, to be real, in every single organic society.

So, seeing him so calm and willing to be open, brings back the familiar pressure against her soul that only he is able to cause.

By the way she sees Kaidan reacting to what Legion is saying, how he speaks to them and, most importantly, how he smiles, she quickly realizes that they are talking about her, confirmed as Kaidan turns to meet her gaze only for a second, deepening the glee reflected on his face before redirecting his attention back at the geth.

If things inside the room were starting to vanish for her before, they are completely gone after that, being only left right now: him, her and the table he’s still leaning on.

Kaidan's attention goes back to Legion, but that doesn’t help her either for, with the movement, perhaps aided by the tight fit of the jacket, the first button of his uniform becomes undone, offering a clearer view of Kaidan’s neck from where she’s resting.

Her right hand moves slowly on its own, imagining how she’d take care of the next one if she was able.

Shepard toys with the idea of what she would do with that if they were alone in the room, her fingers moving a little by her side as she pictures herself slowly unbuttoning the third clasp, and she can almost feel his reaction on them, imagining him gulping as he does his best to remain stoic.

Kaidan does that sometimes, pretending the touch of her skin doesn’t affect him, perhaps because he is unknowingly aware that this usually challenges her to prove him wrong.

How she wishes to prove him wrong right now.

With every second she spends looking at him, the more her opinion about the formal uniform gets twisted. Morals, memories and ideals are quickly forgotten in favor of the way the clothes hug every inch of his body as she wishes she could do right now.

Her priorities get upside down too and now, rather than focussing her efforts in getting out of the meeting, and her galas, as soon as possible, she’s drowning in the prospect of getting rid of his uniform instead.

Shepard traces the steps on her mind, trying to tame her hand to stop moving along with her imagination.

She knows that, after the first buttons, his neck would be completely uncovered. She also knows that she wouldn’t be able to resist the invitation.

Her hand tangling in his hair while she attacks, leaving a trail of kisses and nibbles while she rests her weight against him, both of them supported by the table.

The other hand, also eager to be a part of the exchange, would roam his body, mapping everything her eyes were witnessing with such despair.

She can hear the soft moans. His and hers.

Can feel his hands, resting at her hips to pull her closer, as he always does, even if it’s physically impossible to leave less space between them, humming something similar to a low growl as she presses herself against him without stopping her attack.

Her own hand, abandoning his hair to travel south, resuming its prior argument with the buttons of his jacket and, of course, after winning it, it’s extremely happy to find there’s nothing below it for once. 

The next step seems only obvious.

She grabs him by the collar and kisses him until they forget for a second they need to breathe to remain alive, only stopping so that her mouth is able to follow her hand’s example and wanders downwards, treating his chest and abs with the same treatment as his neck.

Shepard can hear him laughing a little, deep and sultry, a mix between a moan and a giggle, as she starts to take care of the buttons of his trousers now that the ones of his jacket have been defeated.

The moment her lips reach the place they were headed, his uniform is no longer a problem, as her hands have undone his pants and lowered them enough, along with his underwear, to welcome her just in time.

One last kiss, placed right on the lower part of his stomach, is followed by a new trail to the upper side of his leg as she kneels before him, adopting a more comfortable position as her mouth gets closer to her target. 

Her left hand surrounds his hardness, winning her a moan, while the other grips around his leg, both for stability and because she knows the effect that motion tends to cause.

She is in the right.

Kaidan moves his hands too, one on the table, also to maintain his balance, the other to her hair, stroking it in a loving way as he does his best to control his breathing.

His eyes are directed towards the ceiling, focussing in nothing in particular, and she takes that as another challenge so, now that she’s as comfortable as it gets, she starts moving her left hand, in a slow motion, altering the pressure at the same time as its position, using her thumb to caress the tip of his cock as she does so.

“Mio…”

There it is again.

Her name.

A shiver roams her entire body as she hears him say it. The fact that the whisper is followed by his gaze, doesn’t help her either.

Distraction aside, she doesn’t lose her focus.

“God…” He sighs, as her hand keeps working on him. “Mio.”

She smiles at him, bathes on the sight of his face as he pants, struggling a little to breathe, and starts her offensive.

In a moment, before his brain has the time to prepare for it, her lips are surrounding him. Her hand keeping the grip while her mouth gets used to the novelty of his presence.

His first moan after all that is quite controlled, having everything into consideration but, once she adds her tongue to the mix, most of his self-control is quickly lost.

She uses it to travel its length with a rippling motion and, with her hand leaving more space for her as it anchors to his leg, she starts to move her head even more, taking all his length into her mouth so that she can feel his reaction to the whole motion deep into her throat.

The pace of her rhythm and his moans grow at equal speed.

She is moaning too. Everytime she feels him getting even harder her whole body reacts: her hands increase the strength of their grip, her legs tremble a little, her tempo gets faster and, what started as a warm sensation, is now a full on fire, demanding his presence somewhere else once her mouth is done with him.

One of her hands travels to her own body, desperate to comply with some of its requests and, without neglecting her attention to Kaidan, undoes her own pants, quickly finding its way where it's more wanted, humming in pleasure with every new movement of her fingers. 

As a reply to all this, he gets even harder, and they get tangled in a loop of pants and moans that goes for a while, until she decides to take it even further.

Fully aware of the effect it's going to cause, she slows the pace just enough to be able to contract her throat, with her eyes looking up directly at him to see his reaction.

The view is completely priceless.

His head falls down as he lets out a new kind of moan, a mix of pleasure and surprise that covers his body as he tries his best to control himself, failing a little as the grip on her hair gets even stronger.

Kaidan’s eyes are closed, but having her mouth where she has it, he can feel her smile for a moment before repeating the action a second time, and the a third and, when he starts to think he’s gotten used to the sensation, she decides to add back into the mix everything else she was doing until now, composing a symphony of pleasure that takes almost all the power left in him.

There’s a moment of hesitation there. 

Under the attack of hundreds of waves of bliss, his body doesn’t know what to do, a part of it begging for him to make this last as long as possible while another tells him to grab her head and lose himself in the depths of her throat.

He wishes both of them where possible, but a choice must be taken.

Nevertheless, he’s too late to be the one to choose.

Under the same wave of conflict, Shepard is quicker to take a path and, dedicating special attention to her last lick, she moves backwards and stands up.

The confusion on his face lasts only for a second, understanding everything the moment she pushes him against the table, making him lay completely on it except for the lower part of his legs which remain hanging from the edge.

Kaidan uses his own feet to take off his shoes and, right after, moves a little to take off his pants. 

At the same time, Shepard is busy doing basically the same but, perhaps thanks to how much she despises what she’s wearing, she’s able to get rid of her entire uniform and underwear in the same time that it takes him to remove two items of clothing.

She’s on top of him in record time and, completely desperate at this point, has already decided to throw the forplay out of the window.

No more caresses, or nibbles, or kisses.

She doesn’t even wait for him to look at her as she usually does.

His body is more than ready and that’s good enough for her.

Without a second thought, she aligns herself and lets gravity do the rest of the work, focussing on the sensation that fills her as she closes her grip on his shoulders.

Despite not being consulted, Kaidan is thrilled with the path taken. His hands, ready to show her his agreement, bask in the pleasure of surrounding her ass to push her even closer to him.

That’s all she needs.

After that warm invitation she starts moving against him right away, using all her body to ride him as they crash together against the table. 

She can feel the cold of the room, the soreness of her back, still not fully recovered after a battle injury, and the pain in her knees, getting scratched and bruised by the table every time she pounds all her weight against him.

She doesn’t care.

With every motion, every push, she feels him filling her more and more, and all her senses are way too focused on finding new depths within herself to be worried about any coldness or pain.

She would usually study him, tease him, look for new ways to pleasure him as they join into one, but not today.

For the second time today she’s out of self-control, so she grips and scratches his body with her nails before anchoring one hand on his neck for stability, allowing her to crash against him even harder.

Then again, Kaidan doesn’t mind not being taken in such consideration as usual, and is just focused on taking in the whole experience.

Her body lowers, seeking for him, and as she speeds the pace, she kisses him with more need than ever, panting, moaning and screaming while she repeats the action countless times, mixing all of this with playful bites to his lower lip or to his jaw.

The rhythm rises to a new high, as does the strength she uses to ram against him. 

Her cries, intelligible for a moment, get high enough to travel to another galaxy, intertwining with his own into a loud melody, before losing all their power, giving way to a collection of way too intense moans to be audible as she reaches new peaks of pleasure.

She comes first.

He is second.

And then she comes again, as a direct response of feeling and seeing him reach his climax.

Her entire body falls on top of him, struggling to breathe, fighting all the pleasure that builds in her body as it begs her for a hat-trick. 

Kaidan hugs her with all his strength, taking a few seconds to recover before being able to talk.

“You okay?”

She feels his words caressing her neck, sending an electric wave though her body.

“Shepard…”

The voice gets muffled, distant even, her brain doing her best to regain control of her body.

“Shepard.”

And just like that, reality hits her.

She raises her head for the first time in many minutes.

“You okay?”

Garrus stares at her with a preoccupied look on his eyes and, after seeing her shaking her head a couple of times, he starts to fear the worst. 

“Look at us…” Admiral Raan intervenes, being able to do so thanks to the unprecedented silence that invades the room now that all eyes are fixed on Shepard. “Complaining and arguing with each other, while the commander was almost blown up by admiral Gerrel just now, after we don’t know how many missions without rest.” 

The worry in most of their eyes, turns now to shame, thinking that Shepard’s disconnection from the meeting is due to being tired. 

“We should end the meeting now that we have exposed our problems.” Tali adds, displeased with her part in all of it. “You’ll have more than enough to make a choice.”

She tries her best, in vain, to remember anything said in the good 20 minutes she blacked out of reality.

She moves a little to gain time, developing a thoughtful expression as she pretends to consider whatever she’s supposed to while everyone in the room stares at her, expecting an answer to a question she cannot remember, while she does a remarkable job at faking that she does.

But she doesn’t fool Kaidan.

There’s a strange look on his face for a moment, not understanding the situation at all, but once he notices that she needs help he doesn’t hesitate to act.

“So, to sum up…” The attention of the entire room moves now to him, relieving Shepard of said pressure. “We mainly have two options: going to rescue admiral Korris or going to hack the geth mainframe Legion told us about.”

“Okaaaayy…” 

She says slowly, with all the gears in her brain working at full capacity while she analises this information. 

“I need to look… More, into these considerations. And you are perhaps right, admiral, in me and my crew needing some time before heading to the next mission. I will ask, then, for a…”  There’s an imperceptible pause there, fearing they had sended the information already.  “New… Updated reports, of both you and Legion, with any possible changes during our break. If we all agree that would be all.” 

Everyone looks at her, quite content with the decision and the overall ending of the meeting.

She can overhear a “done” from Legion, who has already sent the actualized information to her as everyone starts to leave.

“Well I…”  Raan stops on her way out. “I’ll need… Fifteen, perhaps twenty minutes.” She says, not really knowing how to react to the geth’s speed in their task compared to hers.

“Don’t worry, take your time.” Shepard gives her a tired smile.

The geth are the last to exit, except for the two of them. 

She’s still in the same position she’s had for most of the meeting, resting most of her weight against the clear wall.

After a second of enjoying the longed for silence that finally comes back to the room, he gets closer to her.

“You okay?”

“Hum…” She replies, in a higher pitch than her usual, letting her head rest against the wall.

“You sure?”

He takes another step, narrowing even more the distance between them.

“Yeah… Distracted, that’s all.” She clarifies.

“What about?” There’s no hint of playfulness or teasing in his face as he says this, completely oblivious to what Shepard’s just been through. “You can tell me.”

She smiles, breathes little and lets him know the depths of her current feeling with a single word.

“Later.”

The memory of their many innuendos in the last few days manifest themselves on his mind to the sound of it, causing a deep smile on his face followed but a low giggle.

“Really?” Kaidan half asks in awe. “Now?”

Shepard moves her hand to point herself, using her own uniform to explain the origin of the shaking that ended up causing the avalanche.

“You have an unbutton…” 

They lock eyes for a moment, completely lost in each other, before the moment is broken by a sound at the door.

“Later.” She states, while Legion enters the room.

He takes a second before nodding back at her, taking the opportunity to let her see how he clasps the undone button of his uniform before leaving the room, a deep smile invading his face as he states his own goodbye.

“Later.” 

-------------------------------------------

[drifloonz]

Hi! I'm usually not one to send asks all that often, but what the heck. I'm kinda curious about your thoughts on something too since I've seen a lot of differing opinions.

Steven. Obviously Miki's accident and Missingno annihilated his sanity, but I feel like Mike's ghost also haunts him. Not in a malicious way, but just by existing. He just really wants to understand why Steven had to do that to him but whenever he attempts to reach out Steven flips due to guilt. I've seen someone's headcanon where Steven is this cold-hearted bastard who never cared about Mike, even as kids, and idk. It just doesn't sit right with me. Nothing wrong with it I'm just wondering how many other people share that sentiment vs Steven feeling immense guilt at being so blinded by rage that he'd murder his own brother and basically sell his soul.

Sorry if this is too much, I tend to ramble 😅

HI!! you were my actual first ask but i didn't see this one at first until i was writing the other one and out of the corner of my eye saw this and went "wait a minute." funny how that happens.

ANYWAYS i can definitely do that for you and ALSO do not apologize i ramble so much as well its fine. this'll be so long i apologize so im putting most of it under a read more !

cw for Bad mental health, strangling/murder obviously, and also some suicidal ideation ( which is warned for in the paragraph its shown in ).

i think steven just sort of like... blocks it off and tries to forget everything about that ever happened, but obviously, you cant forget that stuff that easily. it haunts him but he tries to push it as far back to his head as he can and he tries to forget SOOO hard... he's in intense denial. i like the art of him immediately regretting it but i think he'd just stare at mikes corpse for a few minutes and then just be like. scarred by the imagery, and it'd make him breathe heavily and make his eyes widen in regret and he'd just keep staring for a few minutes. but he'd just run away afterward and it just burns into his mind sometimes, making him remember and regret it.

as someone with mental illness of Horribly Bad amounts, when someone you trust like that betrays you or you believe them to betray you ( which, its the ladder for steven and mike, mike obviously didn't intend to kill miki whether or not you believe he initiated the trade with slightly malicious/selfish intent or not ) it does bad damage to your psyche. especially when the murder of someone you care for is involved, which makes the thinking in steven's brain go "oh mike murdered miki. intentionally or not he's the reason she's dead." and then that makes him very upset towards mike mixed with someone he sorta looked up to betray him like that. he just regressed hard and went thru a depressive spiral for a whole year, having the thing he most loved taken away from him so suddenly almost entirely without his control, and then he got so tired of bottling it up he snapped ( lol ) and killed mike.

suicidal thoughts cw for this paragraph: and also during the 1 year without miki, steven obviously went through a major depressive episode and a sort of downwards spiral that just got worse and worse, and i don't think he wanted to get better. this is heavy but i sort of think he just hoped neglecting his self-care would eventually kill him and reunite him with his miki again, which is all he wanted. he didn't eat much if at all and he just sat in front of miki's grave, sometimes for days. he made a bed out of his misery, because it felt comfortable in a morbid way. if he died, he'd reunite with her, because at that point he didn't know anything could bring her back and all he wanted was her. it felt better than just... getting over it, or trying to. people convinced him to take better care of himself, but he still barely did anything past his necessities. this didn't help his mental state at all, as you can probably tell, which also fueled his hatred towards mike after the incident more and more. he made himself suffer this much due to an accident he caused, and he used that as further reasoning to dislike him, even though that was all self-inflicted.

i also like to think they didn't hate each other genuinely before this - mike never genuinely hated steven, but steven after the incident probably had Many complex feelings towards mike, mostly negative. but before the incident, they definitely had arguments and spats, and sometimes one would say something that would genuinely hurt the other ( usually steven did this to mike more than viceversa imo but both happened ) which both of them also probably bottled up and didnt talk about a lot ( although mike'd definitely apologize if he ever went too far - steven, i feel like would be too guilty and nervous to apologize ) which also sort of exploded in steven's face after miki died in front of him. those 3 things mixing together did not make a good combo for him.

the interp of missingno needing souls or steven at least thinking it does is fun but i like to think it never did and steven was just going through a horrendous downward spiral, and he went back home bc... where else would he go, he'd still have to pack the rest of his stuff to leave if he intended to, and seeing mike so vulnerable flipped a switch in steven's mind and made him just go [ steven voice ] "You know what would be funny?" ( worst way to describe that but u get it ). this can also arguably be missingnos influence or missingno possessing steven, which i feel is more plausible then it needing a sacrifice. but i think it just probably inserts or pushes forward steven's intrusive and aggressive thoughts, which i like to believe he always had especially after the incident, but never this bad. and then he just did it bc the thoughts wouldn't leave him alone and his mind convinced himself into it. even though he already had miki and didn't need to do that, it felt... fitting, to him. it was satisfying for a moment, especially because i like the interpretation that his mind warped mikes dying expression into him looking like he's laughing at steven ( explaining his hyplull sprites when hes being strangled being so weird ), until his mind realized the damage he just did, seeing mikes glazed over expression that was very much not smiling or laughing, and he went "oh. shit" in his head probably. his mind couldn't even comprehend what he just did. it'd take a lot of processing, and he didn't even want to process any of that, so after staring for a bit he just walked away from the scene and escaped to never be seen again.

i also like the interpretation that steven thought mike didn't actually care that much about miki dying or even did the trading thing on purpose - he clearly didn't kill her on purpose, but steven was so blinded by his own muddled emotions and rage and he needed an outlet, someone to blame, so he couldn't see it any other way and CONVINCED himself that mike did that on purpose. also because admittedly in canon mike saying that he needed a charizard implies he already had a charmeleon but thats muddy territory and probably just slightly a plot hole. but if that was the case i bet steven was like "... just evolve the charmeleon?" "but that'd take too looooong!" or something like that. mike is impatient as hell fr fr mans got adhd

if you want a good take on this and havent already, read faulty on ao3 . i hate ao3 for various reasons and only go there when im Parched for content. but goddamn that fic has the best characterization of the two imo, especially of this dynamic of them specifically along with their other relationships ( namely daisy and reds relationship to steven and mike too ) - steven even sometimes goes through like being slightly better around mike and then it all drops when he realizes she died for nothing, and mike didnt even finish the dex. fucking phenomenal fic tbh i love this characterization of them sm. a lot of this summarizes how i think they'd both act after the incident

____

as for the haunting... yeaaa. i think steven's just way too scarred and confused and scared to even allow mike to properly reach out, if steven even realizes it. i like to think he's paranoid and overthinks so he probably goes "oh god what if its mike" and then woopsy daisy! It is mike. and he just tries to pretend its nothing so bad and to ignore and avoid him because he's scared and confused and it makes him think far too long about his emotions on the situation that he was intentionally bottling up and pushing to the back of his head.

he also probably would think mike would try to revenge kill him because that's just how he thinks he himself would react if mike did that to him. Which makes him regret things further. he sleeps less due to this, usually on the defensive even though mike has no intent to harm him. i don't think mike ever had any room in his heart to ever hate steven. he's just confused or slightly upset at worst at anything steven's said or done to him... mike probably doesn't even really blame him, but he does just hope he's ok and prob lets out a sigh of relief when he finds steven, who is still a mess going through many things, and also murderous now, but he's still alive! which is a win in mikes book i guess!

he probably just tries to pretend mike isn't actually there or actively get rid of him, or he wouldn't even notice mike is haunting him in the first place, depending on how obvious the signs of the haunting are. his house is already sort of run down and haunted as fuck anyways, but in the back of his head he knows somethings off.

i also ... like the interp that steven took all of mikes team bc nobody was there to care for them anymore. so maybe when steven notices he sends out mikes blastoise or some of his other party members and hopes to god mike leaves him alone to go bother his own pokemon who he hasn't seen for years. after all, he basically never let mikes mons out of their ball, and even considered donating them all to professor oak or something ( probably just.. leaving the pokeballs out infront of the lab one day ) but that felt wrong, so he always kept them on hand. sometimes feeding them and not much else. mike probably had a ghost type ( gengar ) who can conveniently probably see him, and mike definitely would try to communicate to steven further through said ghost type. and he'd just be like. "gdi why did i send out the ghost type" in his mind.

miki can definitely see mikes ghost. mike is also like "OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. WAIT YOUR ALIVE????" in his head, but he quickly gets used to it. he has no idea what the hell a missingno is or how/why she's alive but he just stops questioning it. they sometimes share a glance and nod. mike will sometimes avert his gaze from her due to guilt though. miki doesn't seem to care or hold resent, probably because imo 'M ( however you want to spell Missingno Miki ) isn't actually miki. it's missingno sort of possessing, haunting, or keeping miki's dead corpse alive, but her soul is no longer there anymore. at least most of it Isn't there. due to that she's a lot more emotionless. even if miki's soul was in there though, she would not hold genuine resent. if miki's soul was in there she'd probably be scared of steven ( specifically yk S!3V3N ) tbh

i definitely think steven has hallucinations sometimes, usually of miki or mikes corpses, usually much more horrifying looking than they actually were, so this doesn't help!

steven overall is just on the fence and regrets it all but doesn't even wanna think abt or interact w mike but if he somehow became more okay with it, he might start leaving mike notes or something. or talking to himself, assuming mike might overhear. small steps like that. and maybe if mike is able to sometimes steven just passes out on the couch or smth and mike covers him in a blanket while hes asleep and stevens just like. "That was not there when I fell asleep." in his head. stuff like that.

also mike might switch the tv channels or just Project an image onto it somehow. and steven just. squints at it. i think it'd be nice if they eventually got used to eachothers presence again and just silently hung around eachother. mike really wants to look after steven after seeing the state he's in and how much he didn't really help steven effectively when mike was alive. for an example probably, like, nudging the bathroom door open and turning on the bathwater and trying to make steven take a mfing bath and practice self care for once and steven just begrudgingly sighs and goes to do it since he might as well. and mike just walks away and is very smug about it. he Will make his little brother practice self care again and he's made that his personal goal. steven walking into the kitchen and seeing various pots and pans floating around along with a mess on the floor ( mikes getting used to his levitation powers still </3 ) and he just squints his eyes and leaves and comes back and theres a meal on the counter

steven making pancakes and he just holds out a plate for mike and he just takes it. and steven just sees the plate floating and goes "yea thats about what i expected" or smth. its cute, Although i cant see that happening very easily unfortunately </3 steven is very broken and very much Not wanting to think abt mike. so itd take very long for him to warm back up or even be ok with him possibly existing arnd him. but this'd prob happen eventually if mike is persistent, and by god, is mike persistent. its what got him into this mess in the first place.

i can write so much abt these depressed ex champions fr!!! anyways thank you for reading sorry for writing so much words. i hope this feeds you enough content for the next winter. i hope literally any of this made sense bc i just sorta typed my thought processes until it looked legible - wispy

[dogtoling]

Based on the limited information we have, tell me how you want the new DLC to go. Forget what Nintendo will probably do, just give us your dream story, level design, characters, etc.

Thanks!

Based on the limited information we have I think it's safe to say that Off the Hook and maybe even the NSS will be part of the story, which... I mean honestly, I just want them to make it WORK. It's probably going to take place in some sort of alternate world, so there's a lot of things they could do with that. All I ask for is if the main focus is going to be on self-reflection or anything of the sort, PLEASE OMG make the characters have PURPOSE. If they do 1 more story mode where there's celebrities inside your brain commentating the adventure for no reason just to do a little dance over the final boss i'm going to go insane

As for what I'd actually want Side Order to be. um, good question... the premise that we do have based on the really limited stuff we've seen is honestly not inspiring to me at all. The implication that it's not even taking place in the real world would mean that it's EXTREMELY character focused, and given that splatoon has a really bad track record with writing characters, that immediately made me zone out. I put up with Splatoon's stories in the hopes of learning more about the world, and the characters are just kind of there getting in the way of the good stuff. So if the DLC is completely alienating itself from the world, what's in it for me? Lol. Other than general world lore, Side Order looks like it might have callbacks to extinct animals and nuclear weapons and probably humans, but I would still much prefer to learn CURRENT world lore. I guess all I can hope for is that we get really good history lore and it DOES tie into current MAJOR worldbuilding.

Ignoring most of the stuff we have hints of: it's good to remember that we've pretty much only seen concept art so far. And like, with Octo Expansion's track record, concept art rarely reflects what we ACTUALLY get in the game. With the gameplay we do have with your player character in bleached Inkopolis Square, I think it would be cool if there were several of these hubs and doing levels (let's be real, there's probably going to be levels again... even though I'd be interested in them trying something new) would slowly recover color. It has something of a faded or unclear memory of something familiar -type of vibe going on, which is at least how I see it. And I could be wrong, but it would be really cool if we had a story of self-reflection and every hub world went deeper into the player's memories.

There's no confirmation that it will be based on memories at all, and if it is, then there's also no confirmation that it will be based on the PLAYER'S memories. What about other characters or maybe... O.R.C.A? I don't know how on earth the corals would tie to it, but O.R.C.A. left some pretty huge loose ends in RotM by not doing much of anything (on screen, at least), and it IS a computer AI that has seen humanity's extinction and the birth of the Mollusc Era. It would make sense for it to be able to pass on information about humanity's extinction in detail. I'm thinking about the nuclear architecture in the concept art and the presumably cetacean skeleton or fossil that flashes in the trailer, implying both of those are very important. What would stuff like that be doing in JUST the player's memories? O.R.C.A. being a part of it WOULD give a sensible reason for being in some kind of digital realm, too. There is the chance that it is a digital realm of some kind just based on also one of the concept art with Marina with random digital pixels around her.

Yeah this has turned into random theories and wishful thinking. Honestly I just want an interesting story that is relevant to the current setting of the game! End of the Human Era lore is always something I'm up for even though I'd prefer it didn't become the shock value number one plot point of all the story modes going forward (it's a game about the squid world, why are we still focusing on the human world...)

[faroreswinds]

Just want to say I really like your recent post about Claude and his accusations about the Church. What baffled me even more is Dimitri's somewhat agreement to his claims in their support. Did he hit his head when they stumbled into Zahras? Because especially the issue about foreign nations - surely Dimitri didn't forget that his own father had ongoing negotiations with Duscur before they traveled there on the fateful day of the Tragedy. How could he, as a king of the country with the closest[1]

[2] ties to the Church, even do that if they would forbid that? How can Sylvain hope for e peaceful solution with Sreng if they are banned from offically contacting them? And on the Crests: Ingrid is expected to be heir to her father's title and to marry for her Crest as well, because House Galatea is a really poor region. But we also learn in her supports with Shez that one of her brother could take over if she choses a different path. Surely Dimitri should know that, as king of this nation.

[3] And yet he doesn't even argue with Claude on his claims. Their support would have been so much better if the writers took the oppurtinity to let them discuss how the Church's teachings influence the current mindset if people and if/how they could be a hinderance to change in Fodlan. Because Claude thinks they need to go, while Dimitri (in AG) seems to believe he can reform his country gradually with the Church still around. But no, for some reason they didn't do that. Just like they never

[4] give Rhea a voice/her own route. I "have to" believe that she would be firmly against any reformation on society and yet she doesn't say anything about the major changes that Edelgard already implemented in Adrestia and neither to the smaller ones in Faerghus. I'm not claiming Rhea did nothing wrong, surely not. But the game wants you condemn a woman because people accuse her of things she never does throughout the story. Just because someone says it. Even if contradicting information exists

[5] Sorry for my rant lol, this getting longer than I thought. One last thing: people forget context matters. Like you said, Claude was just about two month at GM. Nothing of what makes you suspicious of Rhea during WC in TH happened here. No Lonato, no Miklan, no Western Church, no Byleth/Sothis. Claude doesn't no any of this things, yet he seems to think that he can't even try to talk to Rhea. She doesn't even know why he's fighting her. To me GW felt like some kind of "witch hunt" in the end.

Thanks anon!

And lol, don’t worry about it. Because you are right.

Dimitri agreeing with Claude on “some” level made no sense. 

My own personal tin foil hat theory? The dev wanted the war to be justified and wanted everyone to agree that the Church had to go on some level. 

And what better way than to have every character say “well, I do agree?” Lol.

It reinforces this weird idea that the Church is problematic, even if the worldbuilding around it doesn't support these claims!

And it’s not like there aren’t claims to be had against the Church. Secrets, mismanagement of funds, etc. Like, there is something to be said about it. 

But for whatever reason, the devs went full “they ruin EVERYTHING” path. I suspect it might be because the legitimate reasons aren’t good ones to start a war over. 

Man, it’s just an entire mess, really. 

[porkyratt]

(i hope its ok to respond in an ask! if you want to answer privately and not clog up your blog feel free ^_^!!)

unfortunately something with tumblr (and a lot of english speaking fanbase in general) is that being mean / callous is really normalized! i dont think what you said was especially cruel or evil or anything, but the wording of "getting the characters completely wrong" is just a very blanket statement that can come off a bit mean especially when fic authors are usually pretty unappreciated in fandom in general. i hope that makes sense?? i also think having the experience of being in disco elysium fanbase sort of sets you up to fail when it comes to rvb. its a superbly written game about intense political theory, and a large majority of people who write fanfiction for it will be people with a vested interest in that political theory who have a lot of writing experience / experience reading advanced nonfiction (karl marx for example since hes a such a huge influence on disco elysium itself)

meanwhile, rvb has a main character named donut. whos thing is that hes gay. because donuts have holes. kind of like a butthole. like for gay sex??... /teasing

but seriously if you need good fic recommendations ive got plenty! !!ive been in the fanbase almost a decade so ive been around LOL there are definitely some baaaad fics in the world but this is not necessarily indicative of grimmons fic as a whole

(if any of this is hard to understand please tell me and ill do my best to rephrase!!! ^_^ )

tysm for coming into my askbox... I feel like an oldman facetiming whenever I use the tags to respond like "help how do I switch the camera" Again thank you for pointing it out. I genuinely do not realize when somethings I am saying are coming across as mean since I am translating it from a different language in my head. I did go back and edit the post because last thing I would want is to bash or belittle people making content for a fandom. That was not my intention in the slightest, and I deeply deepplly apologize. Also for the disco elysium example, yeahhhh maybe not the best one to give! I was more trying to point out how they write ship dynamics where it feels a lot less playing into steriotypes if that makes sense. Not trying to box them(I am saying this with a big fat question mark idk if this is coming across as intended?) Also, wasn't my intention to belittle all grimmons fics because I have read some really beautiful ones. I have just ran into really questionable ones especially recently which made me raise an eyebrow. And yes I am on my hand and knees I need good fics so bad:'))))) Tsym for taking the time to write all of this... I honestly didn't expect my little "let me ramble about what I'm thinking" post to get this much attention I think I forget that I have a bigger reach now compared to when I started posting like a couple of months ago. ( also this is my first social media in like 4 years I have def forgotten social media etiquette a bit) I will be more careful with my wording in the future bc last thing I want is to hurt people even if it's completely unintentional</3

[xplrvibes]

You know, on Reddit, people gave me so much shit about how I expressed how much I couldn't stand Elton nor Corey but especially Elton. To those that said to me "But SnC signed off on all those terrible pranks & agreed to them". Let me ask you, do you ask young kids for expert opinions on anything like major financial decisions such as buying a house? Would you ask your dentist for advice on arthritis in your knees? No. You don't ask someone completely out of their element for advice on something they're not knowledgeable on. Just like I wouldn't expect immature teens/early 20s kids to make smart decisions. In the OG Traphouse SnC were 20, Corey 22 and Elton a grown ass man at 26/27. A man with fully developed frontal lobes. He was also vastly more worldly than them.

Instead of telling the younger ones to chill the F out with their pranks, he egged them on to do their worst. I'm not going to rehash Elton's pranks I felt crossed a serious line but will say I felt that man behaved like a sociopath & took advantage of those kids who were younger than him. It always rubbed me the wrong way & I made up my mind about Mr Castee back in 2017. So last year when he blamed the fans for his messed up behavior towards SnC which started back in Dec 2020 (much earlier if we count some really inappropriate jokes), I was pissed. One of his defenders even blocked me here on Tumblr for pointing out how Elton was no victim.

So it comes as no surprise to me that he is still blaming others for decisions & actions he chose to make himself. SO here I am cackling at all that has been said at 2AM. Yes, we knew he was shady (& Corey too) & now some of his contradictions are glaring. I hope maybe now people can stop defending his (& Corey's) awful behavior & leave Elton & Corey behind already. SnC fir the most part seem to have. Apologies for the length.

Oh trust me, it happened to us on here too when we vocalized the same sentiment.

This whole situation has been a little validating on a personal level, to be honest. Can't say tumblr didn't clock all of this last year lol.

Anyway, I think I've spoken about the pranks before, but yea - one of the reasons I've never liked Elton was because I felt like some of the stuff he did went way too far. And it's not even the obvious ones that people always use that got me...for example, the wig prank on Colby. The prank itself was fine. The problem was when he forced Colby to dress up and go degrade himself in the street under threat of not having this wig removed.

The way he went about all of that and the glee in his eyes always gave me sociopathic vibes for sure, but also - that man has a humiliation kink and a control kink and seems to enjoy doing it to people who won't say no.

Kinda weird.

Anyway, yes - we called this last year when that video came out. Elton and Corey both were way too hot to make that video with snc to get the heat off of themselves, and were tripping over themselves to place the blame on anyone but themselves. The fans can be little assholes sometimes, sure, but let's not forget who started everything.

Elton started making unprovoked comments about snc back at the end of 2020, when they announced their intention to start 25x25. Corey was still living with - and I would presume he was still on somewhat friendly terms with - snc at the time Elton started this shit. The fans only started going after Elton, and later Corey, after they started being shady. So, blaming the fans was always a ridiculous cop out to me. Said it then, and I'll say it twice now.

Anyway, now all of a sudden, Elton is blaming Corey for all the shit talk. And here the the thing with this that I have an issue with: either: a) Corey was shit talking snc to Elton while still friends with snc, or b) Elton maybe, just maybe, started shit talking snc himself because he was jealous and bummed that he lost control over his shining stars.

Either way, neither Elton nor Corey are the type of people you want to do business with or be friends with, and are definitely not the people you want to do both with.

Snc would do well to stay leagues away from them both.

[more-fandon-than-friends]

16

A/N:this is based on a song and it's sad, I hope you still like it though! I appreciate any comment / reblog!!

AU:Human AU

Pairing:Pining(one sided) prinxiety

TW:Major Past Character Death, Suicide mention/getting talked about, denial over death, mentions of college / school being hard, insecurities, angst/hurt no comfort, multiple mentions of Logan and Patton, one mention of Janus and one of Remus

Here a five emails Roman wrote, over five years. People change and realisations are hard.

16

Dear Virgil,

You are Sixteen now!!!! WOW!! SWEET SIXTEEN!!!

Happy Birthday, emo storm cloud!!!! I know we haven't talked much in a while, but Hey. What better time to reconnect than the day to celebrate you, right?

Logan has been trying soooooooo hard to get me to learn.. But like I don't need physics!

Like hello!? I'm an actor, a prince, an artist. No nerd. That's Logan.

Ugh. But now My mum starts to stress cause I need the good grade. But for what!? Argh. It's so annoying. All I want is to sing and play. Not do numbers stuff.

Well whatever, can't do much about that. And brave knights do what's best for the peasants even if they don't agree with it.

Oh! OH! Patton!! I have to tell you about Patton!

He started to learn how to bake! And he brings the goodies to school or Disney marathons! Like imagen Lion king and brownies! How great is that!? Ahhhh even LOGAN likes it.

Logan!!

Sure few things aren't perfect but puffball only started!

Well, I just wanted to chat a bit.

But just talked about me and the others! Well that's what I do I guess, talk about me.

How are you? I hope it's treating you well.

I have to go now. I will write you again

xx Roman

17

Dear Virgil,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Nearly an adult now! Congrats!

Have you heard!? I got the lead role in the play! Yes! I'm gonna play Evan! WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW

AHHHH I'M SO HAPPY. like you know how I always wanted the lead role! I finally got it. And Janus finally didn't get it! Like finally as if he is that good of an actor. I deserve it I worked for it! Patton said I worked for the audition more than all school work last year probably true lol

ALSO Logan is now doing the big quizes. He won the school one and now goes national. He is such a nerd!!! But honestly it's cool! He was missing a school day for a quiz like I want that too for plays!

Well Honestly that's all that happened. Sorry that's so short! But I don't have much time next to the play!

As Patton would say:Eat and drink like you would tell your kitty to and love yourself like it, bye bye

XxRoman

18

Dear Virgil,

Wow. 18 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! SUCH A GRANPA THERE.

I hope you are doing well.

Sorry I don't have a present for you. I know you like flowers, roses. I know. I know. Sorry Remus did some bullshit (what's new tho) and our parents froze both our bank accounts. Can't wait to be 18 Jeez.

WELL, I look for colleges now! Majoring in Acting. Patton want to do psychology and Logan physics. WELL I guess or majors aren't big surprises to you, are they?

I think a lot about you.

Just yesterday I found the city we drew at my room wall. My closet stood there for the longest time. But OMG do you rember us 5 year Olds doing that?! We felt like the biggest artist ever. That was fun. I miss that.

Well whatever!!

I will go adventure the world next year! Can't wait for it!

Miss you

xxRoman

19

Dear Virgil,

I nearly forgot to write you today, sorry!

College is so stressful! I couldn't just take acting, no, the other class I had to take was a language and that's so hard. But hey now I can speak a bit spanish

In all honestly college is draining. Maybe it's just the first year. But it's so overwhelming. You always told me that about school Guess now I can feel it.

And yeah that's fucking tiring. Oof. Let's hope it's gets better. Princes go to bad times and get out even stronger!

Right?

Well I hope so. Also sorry that all of them are so short. I SWEAR I always tell myself "today I'll write more" but then everything feels so wrong to write.

I don't know how to explain it.

Hope you are good

XX Roman

20

Dear Virgil,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Rember when I told you that writing so many things feel wrong?

Well I figured it out.

I was still in denial.

I didn't want to touch on anything that would make it to clear that you are gone.

It's silly, I know I know.

But acting as if I'm having a very one sided, yearly email exchange is better than realising facts. You are dead. For four years now.

And I, well I couldn't, didn't want to, see it. It's easier to ignore. Ignorance is bliss and all that.

And talking about anything in more detail would make it clear, you are gone. Crazy, right?

I still struggle with college by the way. I feel like I need to always be perfect, but learning a language is so hard, I just want to major in drama.

I also haven't seen Patton or Logan in the last few weeks. The curse of different colleges. I guess that makes it harder too. You know me, I love being with my friends.

I'm a bit scared that they forget me. They nearly never talk about you, so forgetting me isn't to far away, right?

Well.. Let's hope for the best.

I really miss you, Virge.

I don't know if you ever noticed, probably not, I had the biggest crush on you. How cliché, I know you don't like them, but I do. I planned in my head that picture percent future. I daydreamed about that quiet a lot. Then the call came. Your mother called us to come to the hospital. I did come, so did Logan and Patton, and she told us the doctors are trying to safe you. From yourself, basically. You couldn't do it anymore. And killed yourself. And my daydreams too. But even though you are dead. I know that. The day dreams for what futures we could have had don't leave. From celebrities to farms on the country side.

I know I told you that already, but I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry. I feel like I should have picked up something. I day-dream about being your knight in charming armor because I failed to do it in real life.

I wish I could have helped you.

I'm sorry.

I hope you are well.

I'll write you again next year, then I'm six years older than you were.

xxRoman

[bebestar-lou]

Having a Crush on Gryffindor!Jaehyun

Here we go again :)

So how do I start

Having a Crush on a Gryffindor is one thing

Having a Crush on a Gryffindor beater is another thing

Having a Crush on Jaehyun is both things and so much more

It's a hopeless mission tbh

Like honestly, he could walk into any room and at least one person would swoon over him

And if he were to walk into a teacher conference there'd still be someone who'd swoon

Maybe not McGonagall but like Dumbledore would be over the hill probably

Okay no forget that part lol what is wrong with me

ANYWAY

So you have a crush on Hogwarts' prettiest possession. Basically.

But hey at least you get to talk to him once in a while, since the two of you have quite a few classes together

After a while of talking to him you even managed to behave normal around him

As in like 'not a half squealing, face burning mess'

It wasn't like a bad thing before, maybe not even easy to notice

But it did annoy you at some point

And after a while you learned that his best friend always comes in late to class, so catching that seat next to Jaehyun rlly ain't that hard

And I mean it's not like he'd be against it, sitting next to Johnny is all fun and games but at least you know when to shut up and pay attention to the teacher. Johnny and Jaehyun,,,, usually miss that part

So his grades did get up, even if just a tiny little bit

You knowing when to shut up doesn't mean that you always know when to shut up. Or that you always cared enough to

Like one day

You're sitting next to each other, by now you don't even have to be sneaky about it. Johnny takes his time walking to class and you just take the seat next to Jaehyun instead of the weirdest nerd you've ever seen...

Anyway so both of you had a rather long day, paying lots and lots of attention to an unnecessary, narcissistic teacher, followed by a session of screaming plants.

Both of you had neither desire, nor power to listen to whatever the heck batman was tryna teach you

Which wasn't a very good move on your sides since,,, well your teacher neither liked Gryffindors, nor did he like you two. Which isn't really a surprise, he didn't like the fact that he couldn't properly punish you becuz you did actually listen to what he said and aced every surprise question he'd ask

Except for that day. Your task was it to brew some potion. Without talking too much, of course.

You two kinda missed... Both steps.

It's not like you didn't try but both of you weren't paying much attention and when you accidentally threw in your pen instead of rattlesnake fangs, you knew... It was enough and you were very much not focused.

So you and Jaehyun left the pot to stir whatever kind of soup the addition of your pen would result in and started chatting about whatever

You didn't pay even the tiniest bit of attention to your kettle

So you two missed the part of it blubbering over and strolling all over the table

Until it dropped onto Jaehyun's pants

And he was so confused

And you were too

But your realization hit too late and after you two had a nice book slap onto the back of your heads, you were told that you have detention this afternoon

Which, oh thou behold, sucked major for Jaehyun. The very important Quidditch player who, oh so surprisingly and totally not cliche had Quidditch practice RIGHT when the time of your detention took place

So being the nice pal you are, you offered him to just go to practice and you'd do his detention work for him

He was not having it

So you two ended up cleaning some ancient trophies like you were told

But

Jaehyun was sulking the whole time

He didn't say anything. But his face

It just told you the long tragic story of his suffering

And you couldn't bear it anymore

So with a sigh you put your current trophy aside and whipped out your wand

Which were usually supposed to be taken away but you don't like giving your wand away like that so you gave them a piece of enhanced wood without anyone suspecting a thing or so you hoped

Jaehyun, being the dude he is, refused to let you use magic but after like 2 seconds of you just staring at him in disbelief he was like

'what am I talking about ok letsgo'

So you "cleaned" all the trophies in a sweet minute and then told him he could go to practice

You've never watched them practice btw because,,, you had like, no reason to

But, oh thee behold, he was about to change that

'you wanna watch me being the prettiest beater you've ever seen?'

Wink wink

You kind of just sighed into your non existent beard while he awkwardly tried to forget what he just did

But you nodded and ended up going with him

Before he left you on the side, he whispered about how he'd smash that practice just for you

Which made you a bit blushy

And him a bit giggly

Anyway, after his teammate shouted at him for like the 7th time, he finally went to the field to,, actually start with practice

Anyway you were up and above, watching him intensely.

You were feeling a bit of pride when he flashed you a smile while he did something cool, even tho you had about no idea what he was supposed to do in the first place

When practice was over and he'd be back by your side he'd totally ask you out

To teach you what a beater is supposed to do and how Quidditch works of course

Wink wink

[we-rate-warrior-names]

Haha, Rowan here again. I didn't realize I sent Goldenclaw and Beetlenose twice in a row, i'm a little scatterbrained XD. so, here's some other names, would you please rate them? Embercloud (f), Littletail (m), Thistlestripe (f), Foxhowl (m) and his mate Peachbloom (f), and Robinpaw (f), Seedpaw (m), Creekpaw (m), and Tulippaw (f)? thanks so much as usual, I love this blog!

Don’t worry about it lol, it happens to us all.

Embercloud - A determined and kind she-cat. Embercloud is dedicated to her clan, and she will do anything to help protect her clanmates, she will never give up on anything she sets her mind to unless she is unintentionally in the wrong, she will always admit her mistakes and try and do her best in future. Embercloud will always stand up for what she believes is right, no matter how unpopular her opinion may be, and she will even stand up for other clans if she feels that her leader is being unjust, 14/10

Littletail - A cheerful and optimistic tom. Littletail always sees the best in every cat and tries to brighten even the darkest of situations. Littletail always tries to motivate and encourage cats that are down and he will do whatever he can to help them. Littletail always walks with a spring in his step and it isn’t uncommon to hear him purring, his cheerfulness often proves infectious, even for the most serious and solemn of cats. Littletail is always hopeful for the future, and he will try his best to preplan in order to make sure things run smoothly, 13/10

Thistlestripe- A confident and proud she-cat. Thistlestripe will readily throw herself into battle, seemingly without fear, she is a skilful warrior and she is completely self assured in her abilities, she sometimes even likes to play it risky and tease her enemies and make them think that they are about to get an easy victory. Thistlestripe prides herself on being the best warrior she can be, and she will always challenge those who question her, and it takes all her restraint not to rake her claws across the muzzle of any cat that insults her, she doesn’t want to be remembered as some ordinary warrior, she wants to be the greatest warrior her clan has ever seen, someday, she hopes that she will hear other cats call her Thistlestar, 15/10

Foxhowl- A confident and extroverted tom. Foxhowl always walks with his head held high, he doesn’t see any reason not to, he is perfect content with himself and knows that he is the best warrior he can be, he doesn’t care much for the opinions of other cats, except Peachbloom’s, he hangs on her every word and will never do anything major unless she is ok with it. Foxhowl loves being around other cats, and he will never leave camp without another cat, it’s just so lonely, he and Peachbloom will often hunt together but he will also try and get into as many patrols as he can, he has a naturally loud voice and often forgets how loud he can be, so if he accidentally scares off prey, he will always catch two pieces of prey to any prey he scares in order to apologise, 15/10

Peachbloom- A kind and energetic she-cat. Peachbloom always seems to have an abundance of energy, she often behaves playfully, especially with Foxhowl, the two of them tumble around like kits, Foxhowl always putting his prideful streak aside if he is with Peachbloom. Peachbloom always tries her best to be a cat that others can approach, and she will bring herself to sit still in order to listen to a cat she knows has something going wrong for them, she is very empathetic and will always try her best to help, even if it’s just sitting there and being with them, 15/10

Robinpaw- An eager and energetic she-cat. Robinpaw always does her best to try and please her mentor, she wants to become a warrior as fast as she can so she will hardly ever be seen sitting still, she’s always trying to keep her paws occupied with something so she can seem as useful and dedicated as possible. For all Robinpaw’s eagerness and energy she can be a little clumsy when she gets over enthusiastic about something, whenever she messes up she gets deeply embarrassed and she will often begin to doubt herself, but a kind word from her mentor or parents always lifts her spirits,14/10

Seedpaw- A careful and intelligent tom. Seedpaw likes to try and think his way out of things first before fighting his way out, it’s not that he is afraid of fighting, he just doesn’t see the point in avoidable bloodshed, he hopes to be leader one day so he can try and ensure as little fighting as possible. Seedpaw is a quick learner and he likes to make sure his moves are perfect before he tries to learn something else. Seedpaw will never blindly rush into anything, he always likes to make sure he has a plan and he will always hesitate before doing anything new, he doesn’t particularly like new things, 14/10

Creekpaw- A bold and adventurous tom. Creekpaw often gets himself into trouble, he’s always wandering off an exploring by himself, he wants to see what he wants to see and not be held back by his mentor, and he barely ever seems shaken up after he does inevitably run into trouble, he just acts like nothing happened and carries on with his day. Creekpaw will never hesitate to challenge anything he feels is unfair, even any punishments he gets for disobeying his mentor, he is too stubborn to admit when he has made a mistake, 14/10

Tulippaw - A gentle and curious she-cat. Tulippaw will never harm another cat unless she has to, and she will always apologise during battle training, even if her claws are sheathed, she just feels bad about potentially hurting her denmates, she is sure she would feel differently in a real battle though. Tulippaw can’t help but ask questions, she wants to know everything she can about everything, and she always tries her best to keep her questions slow and clear enough to be answered by her mentor, she would hate to bombard them with all the questions she wants answered, 14/10