#I hope I cross paths with this person again because he was literally the sweetest human being

[milliemakesmagic]

I just wanna put this into the void even on the tiniest possibility this person will see it.

To the Spencers employee that didn't just assist me, but gave me full care and helped me like a friend instead of an employee, thank you.

Thank you for helping me feel safe in a store that makes me nervous, thank you for helping me with my purchase, and thank you for giving me a discount out of nowhere because you could tell I was in a rough spot.

You have no idea how much you made my day. I didn't catch your name sadly, but you literally are the coolest human. Thank you.

[plus-size-reader]

Lightweight

Natasha Romanoff x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1475 words

Warnings: alcohol?

Summary: Natasha has the sweetest, most lightweight gf who gets a little too enthusiastic about Thor's liquor

I really love the HC where Bucky and Nat are really close, and used that a lot in this one. It just makes me happy. 

——————————————————————————————————

To say that you weren’t what people expected when they thought about Natasha’s partner was an understatement.

The two of you couldn't have been more different, but she always said that was why you worked so well together. Where she was a bit rough around the edges and aggressive, you couldn't have been softer. While she was a literal assassin, you taught kindergarten in a small school downtown.

Really, there was no reason for anyone to think the two of you would have ever crossed paths.

...and maybe they wouldn't have, if it hadn't been for the party.

It was no secret that Natasha wasn’t super vocal about her private life, and that didn’t really change much when it came to you. While she didn’t hide you away, or pretend that you weren’t part of her life, she just didn’t believe in oversharing in the way certain other avengers did.

She was private.

She always had been, and it seemed easier to keep those sorts of things to herself, even when they made her as happy as you did. Maybe it was because she was paranoid, and worried for your safety, or being selfish and keeping you to yourself.

In any case, it was fine for a while, but over several months, you two got more and more close, and keeping you away from the Avengers wasn’t an option.

They were her family, and she wanted you to feel close to them. She wanted you to be able to get to know them and vise versa, that way maybe Steve would stop trying to set her up with all kinds of random people.

Admittedly though, this wasn't what Nat had in mind when she suggested that you come with her to the party Tony was throwing.

Speaking of, at the moment, you were standing on the table in Tony Stark’s apartment, surrounded by all her friends, dancing like a maniac and carrying on. It was quite a scene, but no one was really surprised.

If there was one thing that they had picked up on in the last few hours of the event, it was that you were very clearly a lightweight.

From the moment you walked in the door, they all knew that you had no place in this world, in Natasha’s world. You had sensible shoes on, and not a hair was out of place. As far as the Avengers were concerned, you'd wandered in from the street, searching for the Barnes and Noble.

Anything would have made more sense than you actually showing up here on purpose.

Though, when you walked through the door hand-in-hand shortly after a very dolled up Natasha, everything sort of snapped into place for them. She had been talking cryptically about a new partner she was seeing for quite some time.

The pieces fell into place organically from there.

You entered slowly, surveying the place with quick eyes darting back and forth. It was like you were going to miss something if you weren't careful. It wasn't until you laid eyes on Clint that you visibly relaxed.

A second friendly face made it a little easier to not have to cling to your girlfriend all night long.

Luckily, the cocktails came pretty quickly after you did and that helped you loosen up even more. "Who's carrying Y/N to the car tonight?" Clint laughed, tossing an arm around your shoulder, making it clear he was joking with you.

The others laughed as well, though they didn't know that the man was drawing from personal experience. The first time you three got together and had dinner, you drank a glass of wine and nearly had to be carried out to the car.

It was funny looking back, though in the moment, you had been so sick that you slightly winced at the memory.

He often joked that getting you drunk was like giving a baby a lemon for the first time, except there was no limit to how many times they could get a laugh out of it. That was about the time that Thor brought out a special treat, something he had been waiting to share for quite some time in hopes that it would provide some much needed entertainment.

Though, this was much better than he could have even expected.

Somewhere along the line, the music had gotten turned all the way up and was blaring through the speakers while you danced, without a care in the world.

You couldn’t even handle regular beer and wine, with hard liquor being out of the question. It only followed that something out of this realm was going to be much harder to handle.

“You-” you slurred, somehow trying to scream over the music. Everyone else was remaining rather calm, all things considered, just watching the situation unfold. Steve and Bucky were still as sober as can be, with Thor, Banner, and Tony hardly feeling anything.

They didn't seem to even bat an eye as you made a fool out of yourself, finding the entire exchange endearing if nothing else.

However, Nat, who you were now pointing out, was anything but calm. All she could think about was you tripping and falling off that table, or getting hurt in some other way. Even if you didn’t somehow break your neck, she knew you would have a killer hangover tomorrow.

“You, are so beautiful” you stammered, finishing your sentence which was a miracle at this point. Your had been stuttering and blanking through several songs that she knew you knew by heart, which was usually when she cut you off.

It was sweet, sure, but she could hardly even react before the laughs set in.

“Awe, you hear that ‘tasha” Barton grinned, gesturing up at you with the tail end of his beer, which he had been nursing for the last hour. He had never been much of a drinker, especially not since having kids.

He was just soaking it all in.

"You hush, I love her so much" you tutted, earning another gaggle of laughs from the surrounding group. You didn’t care that she was a killer, or that she had a past more blood soaked than anyone else's you'd ever known.

All you cared about was her, and the way that she made you feel. You knew that she was no threat to you, or anyone else, as far as you were concerned.

Natasha couldn't hurt a fly, at least when you were in her presence. You really thought that she was a good person, and knowing that made her feel like less of the monster she'd come to believe she was in recent years.

You believed in her, and that was enough for her.

Still, that sort of loving, reassuring was hard to focus on while you were fighting with the buttons of your blouse. "Okay sweetheart, let's get you down" Bucky suggested, shooting the redhead a glance for permission which she gave gratefully before he helped you down from the table.

He never would have touched you without some kind of allowance but he had been around enough intoxicated young ladies to know that nothing good ever came after they started stripping.

The large man lifted you from the table without any problem at all, making you gasp before erupting into a fit of giggles. "Hey, get your hands off me you big teddy bear, I'm taken" you grinned, clearly amused with yourself.

Bucky said nothing, only setting you down on the couch where he'd been sitting a few seconds ago. Perhaps out of second nature, he headed toward the front door to get your shoes, just like he'd done for Steve all those years ago.

Believe it or not, he had never been able to hold his liquor either, and Buck had spent a number of nights scooping his little buddy up of the floor and cleaning vomit out of his car. Seeing you in a similar state just triggered some old instinct in him.

"You need help getting her home?" Tony asked finally, talking to Natasha. Even if he had asked you, you weren't paying him any mind. You were too busy admiring Steve's blue eyes for anything like that.

The redhead only smiled in thanks before shaking her head. "No, I've got this." she smiled, making it clear to the rest of the group that this also wasn't her first time dealing with this from you.

"Let me know when you get home, and don't forget the water and aspirin" Bucky suggested, giving Nat a sideways hug before handing her your shoes. She smiled in thanks again, gathering herself while you muttered your goodbyes to all your new 'best friends'.

"Good to meet you sweetheart" Bucky hummed, helping you into your shoes while Natasha said goodbye to Clint and the others, thanking them for a great evening. Right now, you were on cloud nine with no signs of ever coming down, but they all knew you would be in a world of hurt in the morning.

[ghostofpolaris]

Paid Deity Reading Review from @ad-astrum

This is a review I am doing out of my own will for a paid reading that was done by @ad-astrum ! I highly recommend you check Adelaide’s account out! She just is amazing. <3 Tis long so I am adding a cut-off to help. Please note that I am not being paid to say any of this and I want to be as honest as possible with this review! 

TW for: Long post, Personal Topics

To start, I (for a very long time) have been in a place where I was lost. I have had a lot of trials and tribulations in my life and where I know I have made some contact with the deities I (had) followed and worked with, I know I have not always been able to fully comprehend what is needing to be said. 

At least with these last six years, I have had so many ups and downs and quite a few times, I genuinely wondered what the point was in continuing onward with life. I had spent quite a lot of time even contemplating whether I was truly a “spiritual” person and worthy of being a witch. I hadn’t been able to keep up with my gifts I had been providing and I haven’t really done any spells. Maybe a few sigils were made here and there, but the unworthy feelings I harbored along with depression spiraling in from working 40 hours a week, being in school full time, and my mental and physical health continuing to drag me down. 

So, I got desperate as one does when left to their own devices after being paid a nice juicy paycheck and seeking answers and solidarity from others online. Though this was not the main reason I had sought for answers, it was a good portion of why. Primarily, I had noticed signs that were familiar to me, but also not. I had begun noticing crows coming in twos and occasionally threes, I noticed almost everything I turned to, would have some kind of Norse imagery or content involved, and quite a lot of it involved our beloved AllFather Odin. 

Now mind you, I NEVER saw myself as a Norse Pagan. I thought Loki and Thor were cool in the Marvel movies and myths, but I never exactly saw myself being a Norse Pagan. I also was never one for Greek Mythology and Hellenic Paganism either but here we are after receiving aid from Ares and Aphrodite a couple of times in my life. Truth be told, I was the kid that was (and still is) obsessed with the King Arthur myths and Celtic Paganism. I also was obsessed with Egyptian mythology (yes, I was the kid who had the Egyptology book growing up even though I wanted the Dragonology one but that’s okay!).

For me, I tend to be quite dense. I tend to be someone who is unable to really see signs unless they are hitting me right in the face (spiritually I have felt blocked for quite a while and if anyone has any tips for that I am down to listen not gonna lie). With all of the signs I did keep seeing though involving Odin, I knew I needed to start doing my research and find someone who could help shine a light within the darkness that was my uncertainty. Was this truly Odin I was being called to? Why? What did I need to hear?

I stumbled around and I did scroll through various sources until I crossed Adelaide’s tumblr page. I understood her focus was on Hellenism, but after speaking with her in the DM’s about doing a reading, I felt safe and comforted by the fact she was so kind, patient, and informative on what I needed. Absolutely one of the sweetest people I had met on here and I absolutely will keep following her because she is so kind and helpful. 

Like anyone who was hoping for answers, I happily paid the amount we agreed to for the details I was hopeful for. Though apologies now, but I genuinely underestimated Adelaide and her capabilities. I mean, I severely underestimated what this reading was going to be like. If you need detail, and are happy to pay her what she deserves, Adelaide will provide and she sure did.

I opened the pastebin link I had gotten and I didn’t even make it through the first paragraph without breaking down into literal tears. I wasn’t sad at all and it usually takes a lot for me to cry. I had been alone at work so far that night and it wasn’t entirely a bad day, but not exactly a good one either. It was going to be just another night where I went home and unwinded until I felt tired. 

Though this, this really just knocked me off my feet in a way I wasn’t expecting. I always was hesitant with deity readings, I have had someone scam me out of my money and just never provide what I requested and so I was almost worried it was going to happen again. I am so thankful I was wrong. 

To give a small bit of background about me, I originally had worked with Danu and Brigid. They were my first goddesses I had actually met and they both had welcomed me with open arms (though I never really understood why). That seemed to set a foundation of how my other encounters would be as I simply seemed to stumble into the contact of the deities I met and I would find every way to give them the respect they deserved. In turn, they nudged me further down the path that I now am on. 

Back to Brigid and Danu though, they were with me for at least a couple of years and both of them to me are basically like my mothers. I still hold so much love, respect and adoration for the both of them and I felt awful for even thinking, “Should I give my statue of Mother Brigid away to someone who may have more use for it than I?” I am glad I didn’t. 

Just reading that first paragraph was what did me in though and I don’t typically cry as I mentioned before. 

“ I do not believe any of these deities have truly left you “

Reading this made me realize I was silly to think that I was alone. I had spent so much time wondering why I was alone and left to try and fight by myself. I know I was doing better in life, but I knew I was starting to feel consumed by my fears of being alone. I continued onward after settling down again emotionally, but boy did the water works come back when I read,

“ For parting words, she simply said that she was pleased to have been with you and will always be around. “ 

This helped me realize that I needed to buckle up and get ready for a ride emotionally. There was a lot that would need unpacking, and I still have much to unpack from it all. 

After that paragraph, we moved onto Danu who had a similar response as Brigid. Aphrodite herself was as graceful and kind as she always has been, and I still feel I owe a lot of my progress to her as well. Without her, I would have never let go of the toxic and abusive relationships I had been in. I know personally, I should make a better attempt to reach out to her more and thank her over and over again. Ares though, I felt slightly intimidated by him, but at the same time I wasn’t entirely afraid. He just is a much quieter individual than I had expected and that is okay. From what I recall (and this reading proves it to me), he speaks when he feels it is necessary. 

Father Lucifer came next and I definitely cried again at the end of his paragraph. “ Lucifer simply said that he sees the light in you. “ That made me cry like a small child all over again and truthfully I was surprised that I had not known him since I was younger. My timing was off, but I am glad it was actually him as I felt I was not actually speaking to him at some points. 

I have much to thank him for, and I hope me even writing this will show others my love, adoration and respect I have for my deities. My deities, I cannot believe I get to say this and say it with such joy. 

Though with those fears, I just assumed I was just making my interactions up and I feel my self-doubt and mistrust of my own feelings has hindered me (even to this day) communications wise. I once again am glad to know I was so horribly wrong. 

The very last, was the most unexpected, and Papa Odin himself had just known that this reading was coming along, and he had been around the longest. Thinking about it now makes me want to cry all over again, but to me I feel this really reassured me because I know I had moments in life where I would see things involving Odin and feeling comfort in them. Internally, I would ask myself on occasion, “I wonder what it is like to just sit with him and talk. What is it like to work with him and learn from him?” 

Sure enough, here I am now laughing and almost crying at the fact that he was with me all along. I just needed to focus a bit more. I genuinely didn’t believe that I had mistaken him for The Morrigan (so sorry Papa Odin!) and yet he still took everything with good strides. I still am having trouble putting it in words how comforted and rejuvenated I feel to have this kindness, love, and support. 

For Odin himself, I cannot thank him enough for what he has done in my life so far. It makes me want to reevaluate my life and see just how many times I could have mistakenly missed him and signs he has given me. For someone who has been around for so long and has had a formative role in my life, I owe so much to him and am grateful to be blessed with his guidance and wisdom. I remembered for ages I wished I had a dad that would love and care for me and here I had Odin all along. Physically I may not be able to see him or hug him, but he was here all long and that is what matters so much to me.

At this point, Adelaide, thank you for all of this. Your words have brought me such joy, comfort, and inspiration and I had trouble thinking of how to even respond to all of this for a good bit of time. I even wondered what I needed to do at this point and I feel I have a solid idea of what I need to do now, but I just am still scrambling around to figure it all out. 

Little by little, I will walk towards my deities and I will do my very best to honor them. Thank all of you for the strength you have given me to stand back up, dust myself off, and continue on. This was what I needed to keep going and keep trying. I had made my username “mirroredpaladin” because I wanted to fight not only for the good of others, but for myself as well. It is about time I start actually doing that. 

From here on, I do want to find a way to properly and more consistently reach out to Odin, Lucifer and Ares. I want to find a way to properly thank them along with Brigid, Danu, and Aphrodite and it is about time I start looking where I can to do so. I know I need guidance, I never was properly educated on what to do with deity work, but I have to try for their sake and mine.

Thank you all for reading this. To also give some more love, I also want to thank @scarletarosa @thepastelpriestess and @its--in--the--weave​ and @blood-and-bunnies​ (I thought they had another username of @/rosegoldtunic before but I don’t remember) because these people have actually helped me get to where I am now along with Adelaide. <3

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

Gorgeous - a Sherlolly songfic

Finally finished, after re-writing it several times!! It gets a bit steamy ;)

written for @krish-cross

You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk. You should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong.

               It was over. In the morning, or whenever her impending hangover would allow, Molly was gonna break up with her boyfriend. He had gotten a right good slap from Meena when he tried to get her to hook up with him behind Molly’s back. He was out dancing in a club whilst she sat at the bar with her friend. The warmth from her tipsiness was comforting, and she was finally having fun; at least until the most gorgeous man she had ever seen sat beside her, ordering a whisky.

               He turned to her briefly, and with a look of realization, he spoke. “You’ve been cheated on, or close to it. I assume you will be breaking it off with him in the morn”—he took in her drunken state—“most likely in the afternoon, as you appear to be a lightweight, which will result in quite the hangover. Then again, you may not if you’re one of those girls who stay with unworthy men.” His voice was as smooth as the whisky they were drinking.

“Sherlock, leave the girl alone,” the bartender scolded him, moving her long black hair over her right shoulder. Ah, so that’s who he was. She had heard his name mentioned around campus, but never had the pleasure of meeting the guy. Everyone speculated things about him from the tiniest details to the most largely fabricated stories.

               “I’m not ‘one of those girls’ as you put it,” Molly pointed out.

               “No,” he replied. “Quite the opposite.”

“Well, Mister-I’m-Too-Smart-For-Everyone, for your information, I know my self-worth.” She took a sip from her glass, and proceeded to give him a taste of his own medicine. “You put on a very convincing façade of having no emotion, but we all know you do. You’re consistently dressed to the nines daily—not for the posh image you portray, but more because of the fact that something very messy happened in your past. It’s the most you can do to be prim and properly dressed.”

“That’s preposterous, I—“

“And I further deduce that you are a loner, not by choice, but because you feel as if there’s not a single person in this world that understands you, which is why you choose to convince yourself that emotions have no place in your life,” Molly finished.

               “You’re not wrong,” he replied. “Emotions cloud everyone’s judgement. There’s no sense in letting them control you. You could learn a thing or two.” Oh, he was annoying the hell out of her, but she couldn’t help but be curious. He was considered cool, but dangerous. She didn’t see anything life-threatening about him, and he definitely didn’t seem like the drug addict everyone thought he was. But Sherlock Holmes, she suspected, wouldn’t allow anyone to see what he didn’t want them to see.

               “If emotions cloud my judgement, how was I able to deduce you so well?” Molly asked.

               “You got one thing wrong; I choose to be alone,” he fibbed.

               “Bullshit.” Molly knew this just part of his façade. He seemed disturbed by the fact she had gotten to the very core of him so easily.

               “Is it? Here, I find the one person—you, by the way—that understands me, and I’m still choosing to not venture further with you,” he replied curtly, looking her straight in the eyes.

               “Do you—“ Uh oh. She was frozen—not literally of course, but she couldn’t get any more words to come out of her mouth. “Should we—maybe we could—“ He was so damn gorgeous with those onyx curls, and ocean blue eyes. Gorgeous. “You’re gorgeous.” Once it slipped out, a squeak of embarrassment escaped, and Molly left to find Meena who was chatting up a group of people on the other side of the room.

You should take it as a compliment that I'm talking to everyone here but you. And you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room.

               Molly, out of embarrassment, chose to avoid him for the rest of the night. She and Meena mingled with other people, being careful to not run into Mister Tall Dark and Handsome. Despite all her efforts, she still felt as if his eyes were burning into her from behind. Her face felt hot at the intensity of her thoughts, running wild with the most ludicrous fantasies.

               With caution, Molly made her way back to the bar for another drink, when that deep baritone voice rang through her ears again. “I have a better idea.” Without warning, he took her hand in the dimly lighted pub, taking her around back.

               “Where are we going?” she asked, her heart beating rapidly. Please tell me we’re going to do what I think we’re going to do.

               “There’s a”—he turned a door handle, only to close it again—“storage room here somewhere.” He turned the knob of the other door, a look of satisfaction on his face. She followed him inside, closing it behind her. Before getting a single word out, his lips were on hers, her body pinned up against the door. And, my God, he was a good kisser. She felt his hands sliding toward her legs, gesturing for her to wrap them around his waist.

               Molly happily complied as she kissed him back, sliding her tongue against his. Her fingers locked on to his curls, making him groan in the most delightful way. Sherlock nudged at her jaw with his nose to get her to move her head to the side. He kissed and nipped at her hungrily, causing her to throw her to lean her head back against the wall. He began unbuttoning her blouse in tandem with his kisses, eventually trailing his lips down further until he brushed them across the swell of her breasts, eliciting the sweetest sound he’d ever heard out of her mouth.

               She hadn’t the slightest clue what happened, but for whatever reason, Sherlock put a stop to everything, setting her down gently. He didn’t say anything as he opened the door, letting the light stream through just enough for her to see the unspoken apology in his eyes before he left. Molly quickly slipped away into the women’s loo to straighten herself up a bit. She took notice of the love bites he left on her skin. She buttoned up her blouse, covering them up. A bit of makeup would go a long way for the others.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad. There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have. Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats…alone…unless you wanna come along.

                “Wow, where’ve you been?” Meena questioned her, straightening out Molly’s hair a bit more.

               “I, uh, fell—slipped in the loo, actually,” Molly stammered.

               “Really?” Meena didn’t believe her for a moment. “That’s what he said about the state of his hair too.” She nodded her head towards Sherlock.

               “We fell together,” Molly laughed, knowing she couldn’t hide it any longer. “Let’s just forget anything happened.”

               She sighed as she watched Sherlock walk out of the pub without so much as a glance. She supposed she’d just stumble back home to her two kittens, Delilah and Toby. Whatever had gone wrong—and Molly hadn’t a clue what it was—she hoped there’d be other time. If not, she’d remember this night for a long time. They never crossed paths at uni, and were both set to graduate soon. It was probably the first and last time they’d ever interact.

               Imagine her surprise when, years later, Mike Stamford introduced her to the consulting detective she’d be working with. In fact, he requested her specifically.

Ao3

[formerprincess]

Mirror of Origin | Chapter 3

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt Characters: Theo Raeken, Liam Dunbar, Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe, Tomb Raider, Swearing, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Guns, Violence, Minor Character Death, but only bad guys die I swear, Blood, Injury

Read on AO3

Liam sat on a small rock near the river and watched the water sparkle in the sun. They had stayed in a small secluded cave nearby and he had been the first to wake up so Liam used the opportunity to reach out to Mason and Corey and check in with them. “I’m still looking through your mother’s notes for anything related to this Vera person. Your mom wrote a lot but I haven’t found anything yet. If I do, you will be the first to know,” Mason filled Liam in with the progress. “I tried to research about Insight but holy moly, Liam, they are like literal ghosts. Barely any mention and even if they get mentioned it leads nowhere than to the fact they are an organization working in the archaeological field,” Corey now told Liam and typed on his keyboard. “A secret organization without any traces in the web? Why am I not surprised?” Liam drawled sarcastically. “I’m not giving up and digging deeper,” Corey promised. “Still, you should be careful around them. Everybody leaves traces unless they are very adamant about not doing so. This has weird written all over it.” “And you say I worry too much,” Mason mocked his boyfriend and Corey sighed. “But you’re also right. Liam, you should be careful.” “Guys, you know me.” Liam rolled his eyes. He knew what he had to do. “That’s why we’re telling you!” Both of his friends said at the same time and Liam sighed again. “Why am I even talking to you?” “Because you love us,” Mason deadpanned and Corey awed. “You’re idiots. But you’re also right, I do.” He chuckled softly. “Anyway, I have to go. When we reach the village, I will call again. Stay safe!” “We are not the ones walking through the Peruvian Jungle with a mysterious group of people,” Mason muttered when Liam ended the call.

He stretched, got up, and looked around. To his left, the jungle began again and to his right, the river bank was covered with sand and pebbles. Different birds chirped in the tall trees and it was peaceful. As long as he heard the birds, the jaguar was far away and that was probably the best thing yet. It bugged him they had not found anything relatable this far. Vera and her group were hopefully more successful because right now this all felt like a giant cosmic joke. Maybe Ferguson had found the mirror and then decided to play a prank on anybody looking for it. Except for a part of Liam believed the note he had found in the Emperor’s tomb. Why would the old guy lie? His note had stressed how dangerous this search was but aside from almost drowning – and that in a building not even related to the Mirror – they had not encountered anything dangerous yet. The jaguar was living in the jungle and Liam counted the dangers of their environment not to the horrors Ferguson had described. So what had put so much fear in the guy he had been traumatized for the rest of his life?

The young archaeologist sighed and wandered a bit further down the river. The morning sun was warming everything up and it was already disgustingly hot. His t-shirt already began to stick to his body. Well, it was still better than being in Egypt and having sand stick to your skin like a natural peeling; especially when you had cuts and gashes on your skin... His eyes suddenly fell on a large tree. It was enormous and Liam couldn’t even see the top when he tilted his head. The bark was thick and covered in moss but there was an opening big enough for a person to slip through. Liam wasn’t the tallest and it now came in handy when his curiosity picked up. This was a perfect hiding spot for whatever and he had the strong suspicion it had been made by human hands. He carefully slipped inside the tiny cave and turned on his flashlight. A few mushrooms grew on the inside of the tree and aside from a wooden box on the ground, nothing was there. With a humming sound, Liam knelt down. The box once had been painted with blue embellishments but now the paint was slowly fading and the wood was crooked from the humidity in the air. The little lock gave no resistance when Liam opened it and revealed handwritten notes inside. Liam put the documents out and began to read.

I received the invitation today. When the mother invited me, I felt honored. I am sure no king in any of the lands would decline such an invitation. I see it already. Me and one of her daughters married and taking a stroll over the market, basking in the admiration of our followers. It will be fantastic.

The family is admired and the people say the daughters are blessed by the gods. I don’t know how that shows but the stories I heard are impressive. Having one of the daughters as my wife would do my kingdom proud.

I heard the word my rival, the Monkey King, also received an invitation. I don’t care. I’m bringing the best clothes, gems, jewelry, the best gifts to show the mother I am worthy to receive the hand of one of her daughter’s in marriage. My rival has nothing on me, I know how to court a woman.

As I’m writing this, the last preparations for my journey begin. Tomorrow I will leave to travel to the family. If any of these stories are true, it will be a journey worth the troubles. The path is not easy but the mother assured me, this is only the first test to see if I am worthy. She already planned on many more. I will pass them all. I know I will.

Liam hummed. A family blessed by the gods? That sounded interesting and he made a mental note to that. For now, he just pocketed the notes in his backpack and slipped out of the tree cave again. “Didn’t we say no more detours?” Theo stood a few feet away, arms crossed in front of his chest, and gave Liam a stern look. Liam scoffed. “You decided on no more detours and I couldn’t care less what you want.” He brushed past Theo but the other grabbed him by his upper arm. “Listen to me, you little shit, stop being so damn arrogant!” Liam growled and wrenched his arm out of Theo’s hold but grabbed his arm instead and twisted it painfully. Theo groaned. “Never. touch. me. again. I do not like anybody touching me without my consent and I sure as hell don’t like it when you do it. My body is off limits for you, got it, bastard?” Theo just glared at him and Liam let him go because he actually didn’t want Raeken to punch him. The mercenary held his arm and glared angrily at Liam. “Vera won’t like you acting like that! Wait till I tell her!” “If Vera gives so much about your opinion why aren’t you with her but stuck with me in the middle of the freaking jungle?” Liam shot back and smirked mockingly. “I swear, the next jaguar we see, I will fucking throw you in its way. I don’t get what Vera sees in you but we don’t need you to find the mirror. So, next opportunity, you are big cat food, Dum-bar!” “I fucking hate you!” “I couldn’t care less!” They stared at each other with angry snarls and Liam really wanted to punch the guy. But he still had his two friends and so Liam was outnumbered. “Can’t wait till we reach the village,” he huffed. “One more day,” Theo replied coldly. “Perfect.”

Now Liam could brush past him but then he turned around again. “I am still sorry about what happened to your friend.” He meant it. Losing someone was traumatic. Theo gave him a puzzled look. “Huh?” “Davis, I’m talking about Davis.” And now Raeken barked out a laugh. “He wasn’t my friend! We worked together and he was so stupid to tease a wild animal. His fault he died.” He shrugged and Liam realized how cold these guys were. They showed no real emotion, aside from anger and annoyance, determined to go through with their mission. Showing compassion? No, not these guys. Right now, they were on the same side as Liam but he had already learned in his young life how fast that could change. He stored this revelation in the back of his mind. It wouldn’t stop him from searching for the artifact but Liam would be more careful than before.

It’s why he didn’t say anything else and just returned to the other guys. Donovan sneered when he saw him. “So Theo found you again. Pity, I hoped you would have died last night. One less problem to take care off.” “You are three guys against one, why don’t you use your guns?” Liam snapped back and then mentally slapped himself. Way to go when you already figured out how dangerous they are, Liam! “Trust me, if I could, I would.” Donovan raised his gun when Theo appeared next to him and pressed the weapon down with the palm of his hand. “As entertaining as your little pissing contest is, let’s go!” “The faster we reach the village, that faster that one becomes Vera’s problem again,” Burwell mentioned. Liam raised an eyebrow. “That one? What am I? An animal?” “There are many small and annoying animals, it wouldn’t be that farfetched,” Theo replied while he shouldered his bag and his gun. He turned around and then startled when Liam stepped directly into his path and they stood face to face. Liam let his eyes wander over the other’s appearance. “We are the same height, you prick!” He grinned triumphantly, spun around and began walking. Burwell snickered behind him.

                                                ~~~ THEO ~~~ “You could use your gun right now. There’s nothing for him to hide,” Donovan muttered and Theo felt his finger twitch to flip him the bird. “If you will explain the incident to Vera, be my guest.” “We will say he also fell victim to the jaguar. No harm will be done.” “Yeah because that is such a good idea. You know Vera doesn’t like it when we lie to her.” The woman could act like the sweetest person on earth but she could also get very angry and impulsive. Theo still felt the cold water she had dosed him and his team with after she thought they held back information in Russia. Cold water wasn’t so much of a problem but it quickly became one when it was freezing outside. She had later explained she only did this because she cared about their duty and they had to be inured to anything crossing their path. She was right, Theo knew this painfully well. It was the main reason he had so much respect for that tiny woman. He now shook his head to clear it from unwanted thoughts and then followed the annoying wannabe tomb raider. “Do you even know where we’re going?” “Towards the village,” Liam helpfully replied and Theo sighed. That idiot would cause his first gray hairs.

****** There wasn’t much Dunbar did right but he purposefully didn’t lead them through the jaguar’s lair again. Sure, you could never really tell where the hunting ground began and where it ended, but Liam tried to stay as far away from the point they encountered the animal as possible. Theo was actually impressed. The guy could think if he wanted to, would you look at that.

If only he wasn’t so keen on exploring everything he deemed interesting. He reminded Theo of a puppy, the way he bounced left and right, knelt down to inspect rocks or stopped to take a look at the map. When asked about it, he repeated the same lament, that Ferguson might have found something between the mission and the village and it was worth looking out. It was wearing Theo and his men down because they were slowly marching forward. They all were too impatient for that. “Can you not?” He, therefore, hissed at Liam when the guy inspected some carvings in an old tree. “I had planned on reaching the village today!” Dunbar never reacted and instead ran his fingers over the cravings. “Blessed by the gods, cursed by a human. Found their demise by the hands of their own flesh and blood,” he muttered and rounded the tree. Theo frowned. “What?” “I am translating what’s carved in here,” Liam replied. “Greed and envy…a family tragedy.” “If you’re done with your jungle soap opera I’d like to continue walking.” Theo checked his own map and found they were not as far as he had thought they would be during that time of the day. All thanks to the dumb puppy trapped inside a human body. Burwell and Donovan had already walked past them and waited for them a few feet ahead. “Already told you, I couldn’t care less what you want!”

Maybe it was the heat or that he was generally annoyed with babysitting a twenty-something brat whose mom had crossed paths with Vera in the past but Theo snapped. He strode over to the guy, grabbed him by the bag, and dragged Liam after himself like a stubborn mule. Liam shrieked and Theo felt him stemming his feet to the ground and trying to resist getting dragged. And then he suddenly felt a grip on his arm and was thrown to the floor in a totally surprising judo throw. He landed in the dirt and then Liam pinned him down while he straddled Theo. “I already told you I don’t like you touching me. Leave it!” Theo glared at the younger man and used a quick moment where Liam didn’t pay that much attention to rolling them around. Now he pinned the other. “Then move your ass and don’t stop every two minutes.” “You do know this is an expedition?” Liam replied angrily and rolled them around again.

None of them wanted to submit and let the other overpower them and so they rolled around until they reached the end of the little uphill they had been on and both tumbled down. It created separation between the two fighting men but Theo would have liked it better if he landed on his own two feet instead of on his back. He groaned and Liam next to him let out a similar sound. He had landed on his front and Theo sincerely hoped he had hurt himself. Served him right for being the idiotic brat that he was. He sat up and surveyed their current position. While it wasn’t that high, the walls of the little uphill they fell down were made from massive stone and he doubted they would manage to get their hiking axes into it. Theo still got to his feet and stepped closer to try it. He had been right, it didn’t work.

“Are you happy now?” Theo looked over his shoulder when he was spoken to. Liam had sat up too and looked like he was pouting while he glanced up the stone walls. “Me? You’re the one to blame for this debacle!” “Am not. You began to drag me.” Liam got to his feet and dusted his pants off. Then he glanced around. There was a small path they would have to follow because climbing up was not an option. “Theo?” His walkie-talkie crackled and Bullwell called out for him. Theo grabbed the device. “We’re fine, we just fell and now have to find a way up again.” “Shit,” Burwell cursed and said exactly what Theo was thinking. “It’s alright, you continue walking towards the village; we will join you later.” No use in them waiting for Theo and Liam. “You sure?” Burwell asked and Theo sighed. “Yeah, just continue. I will keep him in check.”

He clipped his walkie-talkie on his belt again. Suddenly he saw something flying towards him from the corner of his eye and caught it last minute. It was a still wrapped small medical kit. “You hurt your elbow. Patch yourself up and let’s get going,” Liam just said and then proceeded to follow the path Theo had spotted earlier. Theo stared after him and then back at the kit in his hand. He didn’t get the guy. One minute they were at each other’s throats and now he made sure Theo had something to tend to his wounds. Speaking of: He raised his arm and turned it so he could see the damage. His elbow was bloodied but it was just a simple cut, nothing more. Thanks to Liam’s kit he could use a disinfectant wipe to clean it from any dirt and then put the band-aid over it. Then he followed the brat.

Said brat currently peeked on his map and frowned. Theo snickered. “Aw, lost your way? That’s unfortunate.” “You’re unfortunate,” Liam muttered and Theo laughed.  “Weak comeback, brat, even for you.” “Shut the fuck up! I wasn’t looking for directions, there is only one path we can follow right now anyway!” True. The narrow path between the walls from the uphill was the only way. It was so narrow, they only could walk behind each other. Theo knew that as well but it was so fun to rile the other up.  “You know, you guys always threat to shoot me but you realize I have guns of my own?” Liam asked and put a hand on one of his pistols while he glanced over his shoulder.  Theo raised an eyebrow in challenge. “And would you? Shoot me?” He considered Dunbar all talk and no action so he kind of knew the answer but he really wanted to know what the guy would reply.  Liam ground his teeth. “I don’t shoot people unless I have to,” he finally spat out and Theo snickered. He had been right.  “Oh, the wannabe tomb raider has morals.” Dunbar stopped so suddenly Theo ran into him. He turned around. “I always had morals. Believe me, I know about my shortcomings and the things I did wrong. But I have some moral values I always try to uphold and won’t forget for people like you,” he stated earnestly. The look he gave Theo then made the hairs in the back of his neck stand up. Theo hated it when people looked at him as if they had figured him out. He wasn’t open and rarely let people in, not even his friends knew everything about him, and he liked the protective wall it brought with it. Especially in his line of work, Theo fared better with it. And to have the brat look at him as if he thought he found a way to peek behind the wall made Theo’s skin crawl. “The question is, do you have some?” Theo snorted. “My moral values are none of your concern,” he said dismissively and then grabbed Liam by the shoulders to turn him around. “Start walking again or we have to sleep in the middle of the freaking jungle.”

Liam even let himself get manhandled for once and walked into the direction Theo had steered him into.  They walked for a while until the path turned wider again and they could walk next to each other. The stone walls still surrounded them but the path deviated to the left and they had no choice but to follow.  And then they walked around the corner and suddenly faced a sculpture of six persons, all women. Every woman was engraved in the stone wall and the attention to detail was formidable. Theo let out a low whistle and raised a hand to stroke over the intricate forms on their dresses.  “The artwork is meticulous. The artist even got the folding of the dresses,” he muttered in admiration while he blinked in the artfully crafted stone faces. The whole carving was larger than any human and went over the whole wall, it must have taken a long time to finish it. The women, Theo realized, were the same as on the paintings they had found in the building yesterday. The daughters stood with their hands folded as if they were about to receive a gift and the mother had her hands raised as if he was preaching to them. Above her head flowed an oval object with artful forms on both ends. Theo frowned. “Is that...?” “The Mirror of Origin,” Liam confirmed. “That’s the exact same form Ferguson had once scribbled down on his notes.” 

He laughed and pumped his fist in joy. “I knew we were on the right track!” In a swift motion, he had pulled his camera from his backpack and took pictures of the artwork. “I found some notes regarding this family. They are described as blessed by the gods. Know what else has this attribute?” “The Mirror of Origin?” Theo didn’t even really ask, it was crystal clear at this point. Liam still nodded and continued to snap pictures.  “So this family is what? The guardians of the mirror?” Liam hummed. “For now, let’s call them that, yes. Though I don’t think Ferguson ever mentioned a family in his records. Have to check this again when we're at the village. Have to check in with Mason as well.” Though Theo was sure the last part had more been Liam talking to himself, he could not resist answering. “Who’s Mason? Your boyfriend?” “Best friend.” Liam gave him an annoyed look. “Though this is none of your business. But I don’t have a boyfriend. And no girlfriend either.” “Shocker, no one wants to date the little Ivy League brat. Why am I not surprised?” “Oh, and you have a wife and kid to come home to every night?” Liam asked and rolled his eyes. “I don’t want a relationship. I’m good as single. I would be a great whiskey. Relationships are just pesky.” “Says only the one who can’t get any.” Theo scoffed. “Oh, believe me, I get enough. Men and women if you must know.” “What do you mean...Oh god.” Liam retched. “Dude, gross, why would you tell me that?” He stuffed his camera in his back again and stalked away from Theo. The mercenary snickered but followed him.  “Thought you might want to know not everybody is as lonely as you are. Don’t you have enough money to buy yourself a relationship? I’m sure there are people who would love spending all your money and give you sex in return.” “That’s called a sugar baby. Do you know so much about it since it was your first job? Oh sorry, that would actually mean you’re pretty. And you’re not.” Okay, that little bastard could call him names all he wanted but he was not allowed to insult Theo’s looks. Theo knew he was pretty, okay? He shoved Liam in retaliation. “Fucker! I am attractive!” “Meh,” Liam said and made a vague hand movement. “I’ve seen better.”

Theo scoffed and decided to change the topic. “Well, what’s your plan? I’m sure your little brain is already rattling with the newfound information. Let me tell you in advance, if you continue stopping every two minutes to inspect something, I will drag you to the village by your hair if I must. You’re slow.” “I’m detailed,” Liam defended himself.  “Brat, even a turtle moves faster than you. And turtles don’t move fast.” Liam just scoffed. “I traveled to Peru before and I already was on the track to find the mirror. Only to learn that Ferguson lied for whatever reason. Looking back at my expedition, I neglected so many things that now I’m double as detailed and now I want to turn every stone. If this is too slow for you, fine, leave me behind. I’m sure Vera will understand.”

Theo wanted to agree, take the easy way out and just leave him be. Liam had offered it himself, Theo just could take it. But he set his jaw.  “I can’t.” “Why not? I’m used to working alone and I can always meet Insight later at the village. I surely don’t need three bodyguards. I’m better off working alone anyway.” “Vera won’t like it.” Liam glanced at him and again Theo felt like the other was able to see right through him. It probably was the blue of his eyes, that made him seem deeper than he actually was. Because if you asked Theo, that guy was as shallow as a kiddie pool. “She has a good grip on you all. Dare I say you are afraid of her? Why is that? That woman doesn’t even carry a gun.” “She does. In her boot. A tiny pistol but she can shoot you with it,” Theo shared with Liam. “Listen, she is the boss. I’m aware you are not familiar with how an organization works but we have a hierarchy. She is our boss so we do as he says. And she gave my team and myself the order to accompany you. Trust me, I would love to leave you here, in the middle of the jungle, but she would freak out. You’re not worth the trouble.” “Hm.” Liam moved his head slightly while he pondered on it then he just began walking again. Theo blinked. He honestly had expected the younger to argue once more. 

When Theo finally walked up to him again, Liam fiddled with his map again. “The jungle mission is here, the village there. We are somewhere in this area I think and there was the building we almost drowned in.” He marked the points on the map. “Our usual route would have been there but now I think....”  Theo glanced over at the map and then looked around.  “I see a mountain in the distance. With our usual route, we would have rounded it from the right but now we might have a chance to round it from the left. It might even save us some time,” he realized and now it was his turn to point at the map.  Liam nodded. “We could even be faster than your two friends.” “Already told you they’re not my friends, we just work together.”  “How could I forget that? The big guy doesn’t have friends, right.”  Theo really didn’t like how cheeky the other was. And his only way of retaliation was to either snark back or shove him. Which he did now again. Liam stumbled and hissed. Theo grinned. It was childish but the guy had started it all so Theo saw no use in being the bigger person.  

The brat now ducked under a tree trunk growing over the path they were on and right when Theo followed him, he heard a shriek. It was on impulse that Theo reached out and grabbed the other by his backpack and pulled him back. It saved Liam from tumbling down yet another uphill. This time, however, his fall would have been more hurtful cause this declension was bold but even worse, on the bottom of the uphill rusty spears soared from the muddy ground. Dunbar would have been Swiss Cheese after tumbling down.  He now peaked over the ledge and breathed heavily. “Shit.” “Indeed,” Theo confirmed and let Liam go after he was sure the other was standing safely on his own two feet. “Can you be a bit more careful?” “How was I suppose to know the path would narrow even more after ducking under a tree trunk?” “We’re in the motherfucking jungle. Every step could be our last.”  He slipped past Liam, careful to stay away as far from the ledge as possible.  “Anyway, thanks,” Dunbar mumbled behind him and Theo shrugged.  “Don’t get soft on me now. Let’s get going.” He heard Liam shuffling behind him and then how he followed. Good. At least, he didn’t feel the need to discuss this now and they could continue their path. Theo didn’t know what waiting for them around the next curve but he had to be prepared for everything. Wild animals, deadly traps, the whole nine yards. And again he hoped Dunbar would be more action than talk when it came to firing guns. Theo was still not very convinced the guy could handle himself in a fight. So far he might have managed to get them out of a trap he led them into in the first place and ran away from a jaguar but that about was it. In Theo’s book, Dum-bar had been just lucky. 

Crumbled walls from an old building, covered with plants and moss and worn down by weather and time appeared in front of him. Theo marched through some smaller bushes and they stood in the inner yard of the building. A roofed corridor had been built all around the atrium, some parts of the roof had already crashed down but it was enough to give Theo an idea how people wandered through it and enjoyed the plants inside the atrium probably. Right in the middle of it stood a beautifully crafted stature, again made from stone, and the details were impressive again. Various vessels in front of the statue held various treasures; from gems and colorful stones to gold, everything was there. It almost looked like it had been a place of worship. “Was this a temple? If yes, what kind of goddess was she?” Theo stepped to the statue and examined her stony face.  “Not a temple for a god but a sacred place indeed.” Liam stepped next to Theo. “The people around must have worshiped her. And you know who that is? The mother of the family we already encountered. Watch this.” He held up his camera where he had the pictures he had taken earlier on display. He was right, the same facial features.  Theo looked up at the statue again and once more marveled at the details of face and dress. Even the hair was meticulously worked so you saw single strands. The mother held bother hands up, palms facing the sky, and smiled kindly at anyone approaching her statue.  “Hey, do you see that?” Theo nudged Liam. “The stone on her left hand looks a little off. It’s not the exact same color as the rest of the statue.” Liam glanced up and pursed his lips. And then he held out his own hand for Theo to take. When the older just stared at him, he looked at Theo and then rolled his eyes. 

“Stop looking at me like I proposed to you. I don’t want to hold hands with you but I need a hold,” he mumbled. When Theo still reacted too slowly for Dunbar’s liking, he groaned and grabbed Theo’s hand. He put his foot on the statue’s leg and then pushed himself up. Due to the hold he had on Theo, it was easier for him.  “Excuse me, what are you doing? You can’t climb an old statue. Don’t you have any respect?” Theo hissed. He had done a lot of things to ancient artifacts but he never used one as a personal climbing wall.  “Relax,” Liam just said and continued climbing until he reached the statue’s hand. He tilted his head and then felt around before he pressed down on the hand in a handshake.  The hand moved slightly under the light pressure and suddenly snapped off to reveal a rolled document hidden in a cavity inside her arm. Liam whooped and slowly pulled the document out. Thankfully it worked without problems cause the moment he had extracted the roll, the hand snapped back. Theo snickered at the shocked sound the brat made but then helped Liam down the statue again. 

On solid ground again, Liam rolled out the document he had found while Theo peeked over his shoulder. It was an old map to an area Theo knew he saw once but couldn’t immediately recall. Liam didn’t fare any better and he frowned.  “This is so old, it doesn’t necessarily mean the area still looks like this, right? But maybe some larger landmarks or something? I count four temples. One, two, three. four. Some mountains, there’s a river. But where is this area?” Theo tilted his head and then he pointed at something at the lower border of the map. “That seems to be a village. Wait a second! I think I know this.” He pulled out his own GPS and opened the map. Comparing the route of the river, he tried to match the two maps and finally succeeded. “See that? The village down below on the old map is the village Vera is waiting for us in. And see those ruins on the new map? They’re literally right next to the temples form the old one.” Theo pressed a button and the map projected in front of them. Liam held the old map beneath the projection so they could really see both maps showed the same area.  “But that doesn’t make any sense. If those ruins are already found, wouldn’t it make more sense for the temples to also be found?” He questioned.  But Theo was sure he was right. “Not necessarily. Not when those old temples are beneath the new ruins. There are many places in South America where one building was built over another one. If nobody dug deep enough - probably because they didn’t know what they were looking for and had to dig deeper - the temples are still there, still untouched by humans since hundreds of years.”  “That makes sense.” Liam nodded. “We need to get to the village as fast as possible.” Theo nodded as well. “Yeah.” 

For probably the first time, they actually had the same goal. Vera would be over the moon when they told her what they found. It would perhaps give Theo a nice bonus. His co-workers could get lost.  And again, Theo felt the tingle of excitement running through his veins. They were on the right track and had taken a large step closer to the Mirror of Origin. This was huge. And he was part of it. It felt unreal and oh so wonderful. This was the reason he had accepted a job with Insight. The joy of finding old artifacts lost for hundreds of years. It was always a thrill.

Happy weekend guys! I hope you all are fine and enjoy some lazy days! It still amazes me to see people liking this story. I know I took my time with the third chapter but I hope it was worth the wait. Writing Liam and Theo constantly fighting with each other and bickering is fun. And Theo being an asshole is just the best! I am having a field day with that one!

As always, comments, suggestions, and wishes are welcome. Share your thoughts with me in the comments.

♥

[rushitheworld]

Chocolate Revolution (part 1)

Fandom: Gintama Characters: Mutsu/Kijima Matako Rating: General Audiences Warnings: n/a Notes: this happens in an AU where things went a wildly different way from like mid-SS onward but don’t think much about it

Summary: Matako does something for Valentine's Day for the first time in her life and Mutsu begins to understand this Earth's tradition.

Part 2 | Read on AO3

Mutsu finished the last third of her eighth portion of rice with a single bite and put down her bowl. Despite the huge amount of food she had just consumed, no one around her batted an eye. After so  many years, everyone in the Kaientai was used to the amount of food a yato like her could eat in one sitting. Maybe if Sakamoto was a penny-pinching man he would complain about the costs of it, but so far it had never bothered him.

“Thank you for the food” she said to Oyama, one of the crew members working at the kitchen, and who had helped her serve her meal. Oyama began the task of cleaning up the table, and Mutsu was helping him stack plates on top of each other. At that moment, Aikawa, who was in charge of everything going on at the kitchen, came in carrying a box full of vegetables that were to be used for that night’s dinner.

“Oyama-kun, is this yours?” Aikawa asked, gesturing to a heart-shaped box adorned with a golden bow.

“Ah, that?” Oyama said, with a visible blush on his face. “Yeah… I received it from Akane-san for Valentine’s Day”

“So Akane-chan is into you, huh” Aikawa laughed before resuming her duties. “Have you thought about what you’ll give her next month?”

“I asked Hosoda and he suggested getting her white chocolate, but I don’t know how to make it myself so I’m probably going to buy it.”

“Well, if you get the ingredients maybe I can help you,” said Aikawa with a warm mother-like tone. Oyama’s blush deepened, but he accepted the offer with a polite nod. “Akane-chan is a very sweet girl, be sure to treat her right.” Changing her focus to the vice-captain, the older woman smiled “What about you, Mutsu-san? Do you celebrate Valentine's Day where you’re from?”

“No, or at least not that I know of” Mutsu replied. “I only learnt about it after meeting Sakamoto. I don’t really know what’s the point of it.”

“Oh well,” began Aikawa, speaking calmly as she set up a big pot for use. “If we look at it in a realistic way, it’s just an excuse to sell chocolate. But it can also be the day when someone gathers the courage to make their heart be heard. Personally, I like to see things the more romantic way, I love how this season can quite literally bring out the sweetest sides of people.”

“I see...” Mutsu replied, not sure she completely got it yet. Having finished the task of helping Okawa with cleaning, Mutsu excused herself from the kitchen to go to the control room, where she found Sakamoto overlooking their route back to Edo, already their third visit there this year.

Normally, the Kaientai didn’t visit Earth so often, but after the end of the war they had been helping with the reconstruction of Edo, mostly by using Sakamoto’s business skills to better their relationship with other planets. Because of this, they had to come back often so they could report back and discuss future strategies, but Mutsu was sure he also wanted to enjoy the extra time with his longtime comrades.

Not that she really minded. She wasn’t familiar with the idea of having a planet to call home — her place was always in space, but she had grown to appreciate Edo and the people there. Even before the war, she had already worked with Gintoki and Katsura, as well as their teams. The girl that Gintoki had taken under, Kagura, was very adamant in showing Mutsu around Edo, and the two had become close.

Besides the Yorozuya and the Joui faction led by Katsura, through the reconstruction meetings she was now familiar with some of the people working with Nobunobu, like the Mimawarigumi and a handful of officials who had been there since Shigeshige. Takasugi’s Kiheitai also took part, giving Mutsu the chance of knowing them better than she’d had the chance back when they were to Rakuyou.

“We’ll land in approximately two hours” said Tanisaki from his seat next to the ship’s controls. Standing right in the middle of the control room, Sakamoto laughed but was interrupted by a wave of nausea. Mutsu stood next to him, overlooking the rest of the crew there, smiling to herself and looking forward to this visit to Earth.

“...we’ll meet again as soon as Sakamoto comes back with their response,” said Katsura, closing off that day’s meeting.

“Ahahaha in that case I guess it’s time for some drinks, right Kintoki?” Sakamoto said to the man sitting to his left, who always looked like he would rather be anywhere but those meetings. No one seemed to pay much attention to them except for Katsura. The rest of the attendees were already used to the three of them acting like idiots, and had better things to do than engaging with them — except for the new shogun, who they sometimes managed to drag along with them.

Mutsu left the room and walked to the exit without a hurry. She could hear Sakamoto’s laugh fade off as he left with Gintoki and Katsura. The trip to the planet they were set to visit was almost a week long, but she didn’t feel like dragging her captain back to the ship just yet. The weather in Edo was finally warming up and she wanted to enjoy it for a little longer. Maybe Kagura could take her to good places to eat.

“Wait!” she heard someone calling for her.

Turning around, she found one of the members of Takasugi’s Kiheitai, Kijima Matako. Mutsu didn’t know much about her, as they had only spoken on a few occasions during these meetings. While they were nowhere near close, Mutsu found her presence to be enjoyable.

“I know it’s a lil’ late but I, uh…” Matako looked down and held her hands in front of her, offering Mutsu a small red box with a white ribbon tied around it. “I don’t really have any experience with confectionery but, I… hope you’ll like it.” Even though Matako had turned to the side trying to hide the blush on her face, Mutsu could still notice the red color on the tips of her ears.

Not sure about what to make of the situation, Mutsu took the box and was thinking of how to politely accept the gift, but didn’t get the chance to. “Well I’ll… see you around.” And with that, Matako left, walking fast so she could catch up with her commander and the other two men accompanying him, already a good distance ahead on them on the same direction Sakamoto and the others had taken not that long ago.

Now alone, she carefully untied the ribbon that kept the box closed. Removing the lid, she found an array of a dozen heart-shaped bombons, some with simple patterns made with different kinds of chocolate on them. Mutsu stood there for a while, looking at the content of the box. It wasn’t every day that something took her by surprise — she was used to the unexpected and all sorts of strange things. But this was something she’d never imagined.

It can also be the day when someone gathers the courage to make their heart be heard, she thought back to Aikawa’s words. Matako had given her this so she could hear what was inside their heart?

But doesn’t her heart belong to her commander?, a voice in Mutsu’s head asked. At least that had been the impression she got when meeting them in Rakuyo. If she compared Matako’s reaction back then to how Mutsu would’ve acted if it had been Sakamoto in Takasugi’s place, they seemed to be coming from different kinds of affection. But maybe she had just gotten the wrong idea. Or maybe things had changed over the past year. With every other thing in the universe changing at a fast rate, was it unthinkable that feelings could develop and evolve in a similar fashion?

The present she had just received told Mutsu that, at the very least, she had somehow managed to occupy part of Matako’s thoughts, and that it was strong enough that it prompted to act on them at a time mostly associated with romantic love. How serious or how deep were Matako’s feelings, she had no way to know just from the chocolates. However, according to what she’d heard earlier in the kitchen, she was now supposed to give a response.

What was her response exactly, though? She would be lying if she said Matako had been crossing her mind on the daily. She had thought of her a couple of times while thinking about Edo during space trips, despite the fact they hadn’t talked much or spent time together outside of these meetings.

Mutsu pondered about how she felt towards the other woman as she walked through Edo, not following any path in particular and just letting her feet take her anywhere they wanted. She soon found herself at the port, the changing colors of the water as it moved and reflected the sun helping her clear her mind.

Matako was the only woman in the Kiheitai, and one of the few people Takasugi —a man that Sakamoto respected deeply— seemed to trust. Just like Mutsu, she was skilled with the use of guns, always carrying two out of fashion pistols with her. She dressed in a less traditional way than anyone else she had met from Earth, making her stand out. Mutsu was certain there were people that saw her and shook their heads in disapproval, but Matako didn’t seem to care. She was comfortable and paid no mind to what strangers’ opinions were. Being honest, Mutsu found this attitude to be attractive.

Also, despite the roughness she usually carried herself with and all her attempts at appearing intimidating, Mutsu could tell she was rather gentle on the inside. One of the occasions it showed through was every time she bickered with Kagura. Despite constantly calling the young girl a brat, a sister-like warmness was almost tangible under her annoyed tone, and a small smirk appeared every time she was called Makko — the nickname Kagura had given her.

When visualizing Matako in her mind, Mutsu saw her with the playful grin of someone who was proud of their position and almost dared anyone to try her, sharp eyes taking everything around her with caution, crossing her arms in front of her but with her hands ready to jump into action at any moment. But she also saw her softening up when her eyes met with one of the other members of the Kiheitai, with a care that exposed her attachment to them, grown over the years they had spent together as comrades if not as family.

Maybe she was being selfish, but Mutsu found herself wishing that she could make Matako light up in a similar way, make her lower her guard and show her all the affection she was willing to give to those who were dear to her. She wanted to get to know Matako better and discover more of what else was behind her furrowed eyebrows. Maybe she would slowly get attached to her like she had to Edo the more she explored its streets.

She opened the red box again, smiling at the sight of its contents. Taking out one of the bonbons, she bit into it, taking her time to taste the dark chocolate shell and the caramel filling. Mutsu felt warm inside and closed her eyes to focus only on the treat. While it was obvious this wasn’t the work of a professional chocolatier, the effort that had been put into it was evident. It may not have been made by expert hands, but if it was conveying what laid within Matako’s heart, Mutsu wanted to taste more of its sweet bliss in all of its flavors.

Walking back into the city, she made her way back to the ship, where she hoped Aikawa could help her elaborate a response.

[tear-her-aus]

Karma’s a Bitch - pt 2

Part 1    Part 2     Part 3     Part 4    Part 5    Part 6    Part 7     Part 8

Summary: Closure. That’s what you needed to finally forget that memory of your past. A memory that shaped you into becoming the person you are today. Perhaps you wouldn’t find closure, but instead closure in the form of a boy would find you.

Pairing: Jimin x female reader x Jungkook (?)

WC: 1.7K

Warnings: Low self esteem

A/N: Hi! So I decided to post part 2 earlier than expected. Hope you enjoy it!

* - * - * - * - *

Part 2

    It’s been about eight weeks since you started the semester and because of it you had to change your training schedule to mornings instead of evenings. You quite enjoyed the morning atmosphere and started making new friends with people that trained at those hours. You even became friends with one of the youngest instructors, Jungkook, who looked like he had a similar age to yours and was even fitter than other personal trainers. You were curious as to how he could be working there at such a young age, and when you asked him, he told you that he was in third year of his career and that he was just an intern. He even went to the same university as you, yet his school was far away from yours. You found him pretty friendly to say the least, and he even told you that when he finished his internship, he would become your gym partner. You actually liked the idea since you felt you were getting stuck with your performance and having a gym partner like him would certainly encourage you to do better. Turning to leave, you told Jungkook you would start your routine and leave him to do his job, yet you bumped into a well-defined chest. Thinking it was probably one of those cocky gym guys due to the seductive smell he emanated, you apologized and without looking up went straight to one of the benches to start with bench press. You heard the guy saying something to Jungkook, but you couldn’t quite hear what their conversation was about, and you didn’t really care.

    Since this week you had to add more weight to each exercise, you started by adding 2.5kg to your already loaded 12.5kg base. You were somewhat nervous since you have never accomplished to lift so much weight, and even though you could ask Jungkook for help, you didn’t want to cross paths with the other guy. You positioned yourself on the bench and aligned your hands with the bar, and breathing deeply, you took out the bar from its hook and started doing the repetitions. You managed to do the 10 repetitions from 3 of you 4 sets, and you were now about to start the last and probably hardest repetition. Taking a big amount of air into your lungs, you took the bar from the hook and started lifting it up and down with each repetition. That was until you reached your eight one and your hands gave away. The bar fell hurtfully on your chest.  You knew you had to scream, but the impact of the weight in your chest took all your air away. You knew everyone was in their own business and probably no one noticed you were being suffocated, yet not 10 seconds have passed when a pair of toned arms lifted the bar and placed it on the hook. To recover your lost air, you breathed deeply and then slowly tried sitting down on the bench. Looking back, you saw that the owner of those toned arms was a handsome young boy with ebony dark hair. He was one of the hottest guys you’ve ever seen, yet you have never seen him in the gym, you would have remembered him. You were about to thank him when he spoke with the sweetest voice you have heard in your life.

“Are you alright?” he said with an expression showing concern.

“Yeah…thanks… you know, for literally saving me.”

“I wouldn’t say saving you, but if that’s how you see it then cool” he said somewhat… flustered?

“No, seriously! I thought I would die from suffocation! Thank you so much!”

“Yeah, I thought that too. I ran as fast as I could when I saw the bar fell on you and did what anyone would have done.”

“I’m actually glad you noticed. I thought no one would notice and that I would die” you laughed a little bit, thinking on what could have happened if no one have aided you.

“Who wouldn’t notice such a beautiful girl like you?” the boy said with a smirk on his face.

You were taken aback by his remark, yet you couldn’t deny you liked his flirting. About to answer, your attention was caught by Jungkook, who was running towards you and upon arriving, squatted in front of your sitting figure. “Are you okay? Are you hurt in any way?” he asked, clearly worried.

“I’m fine, Jungkook. I was lucky enough to be saved by this gentleman right here” you said while directing your left hand towards the guy that saved you. He again looked embarrassed and scratched the back of his head with his right hand.

“Wow. Thanks, Jimin! It could have been bad if no one helped her. I tried to get here as fast as possible when a lady came and told me an accident happened to a girl using the bench press. I knew it was Y/N since she was the only one doing this exercise.”

“No big deal, really! It was the decent thing to do” Jimin answered, looking between Jungkook and you. Jungkook turned his gaze on you once more and told you that next time, you should ask him for help to finish your last set. You replied you most likely will do so. With that, Jungkook stood up and went to help an old lady that was waiting for him. When your gaze fell back again on the handsome guy, you had the sensation he never took his gaze from you. He was intently looking at you, so you decided to say something before it became awkward.

“So… thank you, really” you smiled a little.

“Anytime! I hope you didn’t get hurt,” he said truthfully, “Well.. I should probably head back to finish my sets of deadlift.”

“Right… See you around!” you replied enthusiastically yet feeling a little disappointed.

“Sure thing!” with that he winked and left to the other side of the room, but not without looking one or two times back at you. Your cheeks were hot, but you suppressed any feeling by reminding yourself you had to keep training. Since you were doing “arm day,” you had to do a lot of exercises that required your arms and hands, but with the incident you seemed to have sprained you right wrist. You saw no use in staying, so you decided to go home after telling Jungkook about your situation, to which he gave you recommendations in order to recover. Walking home, you couldn’t help but to feel excited for the new encounter you made today. Tons of thoughts about him made way to your head, yet you didn’t seem to remember his name. The pretty boy didn’t introduce himself, but since Jungkook mentioned his name, you tried to remember even his initial. Not getting anywhere with your thoughts, you just decided to make your way home. Why bother anyways? Being a 12 out of 10, pretty boy will probably not talk to you again. As he said, he did what anyone would do in his position, and even though you registered his flirting, he probably said what he usually says to other girls. Deciding to leave it at that, you entered your apartment and went straight to the bathroom to take a bath, so you took your clothes off and once again looked at your reflection. “I wish I could love myself” you whispered before entering the bathtub and slowly sinking into the hot water.

* - * - * - * - *

Jimin finished his last set of deadlift, and immediately looked for the girl. How could he miss his chance of asking her name?! He grew more disappointed when she was nowhere to be seen, and he worried she might actually have been injured. Seeing Jungkook in his usual spot, he approached him to get some information out of him.

“Hey, Jungkook. Do you perhaps know where the girl from earlier went?” he asked directly.

“What girl? “Jungkook asked innocently but knowing perfectly what Jimin was talking about.

“Come on! You know… the girl that had the accident?”

“Oh, you mean Y/N? She left since her wrist hurt.”

‘Maybe she sprained her wrist, ’Jimin thought to himself. Knowing how to deal with injuries, he could use that in the future to get close to her. He didn’t miss Jungkook mentioning her name, so he decided to ask more out of him.

“That girl, Y/N, seems to know a lot about technique. I wonder how she could got hurt.”

“Well yeah. Being a customer for so long, you may wonder that, but that can happen to anyone. Besides, from what she told me, she had to add extra weight today, and even though she was handling it perfectly, the last set is usually the hardest one.”

“Yeah you are right. It probably was that. I hope she didn’t get hurt badly.”

“Nah! She is a strong girl. Sometimes I wonder how she doesn’t faint form training so hard. From what I know, she’ll probably come tomorrow being her wrist better or not.” Jungkook smiled proudly, making Jimin feeling a little jealous of Jungkook’s closeness to Y/N. He even started to question their relationship.

“You seem to know her well” Jimin said in a monotonous tone.

“Well not so much if I’m being honest. She used to train in the evenings when I had the same time schedule, but luckily when they changed my shifts to mornings, her schedule also changed to mornings too, so we kind of became close,” Jungkook nodded to himself while Jimin frowned a little wondering if that change in schedule was a coincidence. He let those thoughts wander off his mind for later since he now had some information of Y/N, and he would use it to his favor not minding if Jungkook was in his way or not. Thinking of a way to smoothly end the conversation, Jimin told Jungkook he should probably go to do some cardio to which Jungkook replied with a nod and a pat on his back.

    What Jimin didn’t realize was that Jungkook noticed his new interest in Y/N. Jungkook knew guys like Jimin all too well, and he wondered if he was just interested in Y/N’s appearance or in her essence. His thoughts were interrupted by a boy who asked him to explain some exercises to him. Walking towards a bench, Jungkook focused on his job once again.

A/N: Tell me what you think so far! 

[the-sinnamon-roll-writes]

I just want to say I love your works, it's probably one of my favorite whump bingos out there! Can I request revenge by proxy with Pidge?

Oh gosh, I’m so glad you’re enjoying them! So I got about ¾ of the way through before I realized I had just assumed you wanted Pidge to be the “by proxy” part rather than the “revenge” part, so if you wanted it the other way around, just let me know! I will also say, there are two parts towards the middle that could read as implied threats of noncon. They’re meant to be threats of violence, and not that though. My 12th work for @badthingshappenbingo

It was hard to place the scratchy voice. It was clear it knew who he was. It did sound incredibly familiar. And not a good familiar. The sound of it made him feel uneasy, and Keith desperately wished he wasn’t wearing a blindfold so he could see what was going on. Actually, he would’ve liked to know why he was wearing a blindfold to begin with. He had a feeling that that question should take priority. 

Of course, he wasn’t even sure if he would be able to see anything, even if he wasn’t wearing it. Shit, he wasn’t even sure if he was actually awake. Maybe this was all just some hugely unsettling dream. Then the blindfold was yanked off. He blinked blearily, still trying to decide if he was actually conscious. Then a cold liquid that Keith really hoped was just water splashed down onto him and a foot kicked his left thigh. Keith bolted upright- or at least, he tried to. It was hard to move quickly when he was being held down. It only took a second for him to realize that his hands were tied. “It has been awhile, hasn’t it?”Right, someone was talking to him. His eyes finally focused on the tall figure in front of him. ‘Oh fuck. That’s Zethrid. How did I end up with Zethrid?’ He tried thinking back- he could remember when he realized it was her, but after that, things were just slowly coming back in useless chunks that he was having a hard time putting together. Fuck- he had no way of knowing where he was, or how long he’d even been missing from the rest of the team. He was then uncomfortably aware of a stinging in his upper chest. When he looked down, he saw an angry red mark just below his collarbone. Had he been tased? Could tasers really make people pass out? Of course, if it had been a taser, it was probably a space-grade hell taser that was more than capable of knocking someone out. Nothing surprised him anymore. “I had originally planned to simply kill you. But then I was told that one of my crew was able to obtain something that might interest you.” She had continued talking without stopping to see if he was paying attention. Keith didn’t like the way she was looking down at him. She was too happy about something. And if she was happy, then he was in trouble. Even with his basic knowledge of her as a person, he assumed that the ‘something’ they found was some unspeakable torture machine that would make him plead for death or something. “Bring it here.”He steeled himself. This wouldn’t be pretty. A minute later a sentry came in with a small, squirming person slung over his shoulders. Keith was horrified to see a red-faced Pidge being dumped onto the floor in front of Zethrid. Just out of his reach. It took her a moment to realize just who it was that she had just been handed over too. Her face paled and the fierceness that had been there vanished when she recognized the half-Galra. She tried to scramble back away from her, only to bump right into a wall. “Do you remember what you took from me?” Zethrid asked Keith, her voice chillingly calm. She hadn’t even acknowledged that Pidge had arrived. “Do you know what you did to my life?”“I don’t know what you think I did, but she didn’t do anything!”Zethrid slammed her foot down less than an inch away from Pidge’s shin. “You know what you did! I want to hear you say it!”“Tell me what you want me to say, and I’ll say it,” Keith said desperately, “just leave her out of this!”“You took Ezor from me. She was the only thing in my life that mattered, and you took her from me!”“Okay, I took her from you, and ruined your life. There, you got what you wanted. Now just let her go!”“I don’t think so. What providence that you were the other one we were able to catch. It’s too bad she isn’t here,” Zethrid finally sneered down at Pidge. “Ezor was anxious to get her claws into you. The small ones usually scream the sweetest. I wonder whether he still has a soft spot for you. A tiny little creature like yourself- I’m sure it would absolutely kill him to know that you’re the one taking the hits for him. What do you think?”His blood went cold. Zethrid was going to hurt Pidge to get at him. No- he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let Pidge get hurt on his behalf. Without sparing a second glance at the thugs standing at his side, Keith lunged forward at the two of them. Big mistake. The butt of a gun came down on his right shoulder with a harsh thunk and the promise of a nasty bruise the next day. It left his arm dangling uselessly at his side, and he groaned loudly. “Keith-” Pidge said with just the slightest hint of a tremor in her voice. “I’m okay- get your fucking hands off her!” Keith tried to jerk forward again when Zethrid seized the hair at the back of Pidge’s head and jerked her up. A weak protest came from Pidge’s mouth, and the fact that she wasn’t putting up a fight was testament to just how scared she really was. She looked absolutely terrified, and Keith could only imagine she was recalling the last time they’d crossed paths with Zethrid. She had narrowly avoided torture then, and now she was right back at her mercy. He’d forgotten how much she’d been affected by Ezor and Zethrid’s threats. He had never asked her about it, but he had a feeling that she had lost some sleep over it. His mind raced as he tried to think of a plan. “Get your hands off of her!”‘Hell of a plan there, Keith.’Of course Zethrid ignored him and ran a hand down along Pidge’s face, drawing a shudder from her. “You’re the smart one, right?” she asked Pidge. “Any guesses as to what we’re going to do with you? Well?”Pidge stayed silent, although Keith couldn’t tell whether it was from stubbornness or fear. Either way, it was enough to irritate Zethrid into shaking Pidge roughly by the head before looking back at Keith. “What about you? What do you think we have in store for this one?”“Come on, she’s not the one you want to hurt,” Keith tried helplessly. “Please, just let her go.”“We’re going to hurt it. Than when we’re done hurting it, we’re going to kill it. You took someone I loved from me, now I’m going to take something you love from you,” she said simply, looking down at Keith with a twisted smile. Pidge wasn’t a person to her, he realized. It didn’t matter to Zethrid at all that she was hurting the younger girl. It was like she was taking away his toy to break in front of him. This was bad. “Please don’t hurt her! Please,” Keith begged. He didn’t think he could live with himself if Pidge got hurt because of him. There was nothing he could say that would make any difference. He needed to do something“You’re lucky,” Zethrid purred, jerking Pidge up to look her in the eyes, “that Ezor isn’t here. She’s the one who liked to get creative. I prefer a more direct approach.”With that, Zethrid rammed her knee into Pidge’s stomach. Pidge immediately tried to double over, but Zethrid didn’t release her grip on Pidge’s head, and she just wound up getting a large chunk of hair torn from her scalp. “Shit,” Pidge managed to cough out before being dropped to the ground. She didn’t get much of a break before Zethrid’s boot collided with the side of her head and knocked her down flat. For a moment, Keith was concerned that she wouldn’t get up. But then she blinked and lifted her head an inch off the ground before struggling to get back up. She had just made it to a sitting position when another kick to her ribs knocked the air from her lungs, and she fell back again, gasping. Judging by the way Pidge was clutching her chest, he was ready to bet one or two of those ribs had just been broken.  Then Zethrid was grabbing her by the collar and pulled her up to her feet again, where she swayed dangerously. A fist flew into Pidge’s face once, then twice, then a third time. When Zethrid stopped, Pidge’s nose was a bloody mess and her eyes were unfocused and looked to be crossing.  She was literally being used as a punching bag, and it was making Keith sick. The pure ferocity in Zethrid’s attack was stunning. There was no way Pidge would survive if it continued. “Stop it! You’ll kill her!” He was still struggling to reach them, even though he had no idea what to do once he got there. It wasn’t like he had much room to maneuver. But that was his thing, right? Figuring things out in the moment? How often did he actually have a plan when he did things? He could count on one hand the amount of times he had actually made a plan himself. “That’s the idea.” Zethrid was loving this. Standing just out of his reach with Pidge in her grasp, watching him struggle and beg. She laughed at the feeble cry Pidge let out when she was slammed against the wall and had the air knocked out of her. Without giving her the chance to catch her breath, Zethrid landed another series of cruel blows to Pidge’s torso. From her neck to her lower stomach, it seemed like Zethrid was determined to bruise or break every part of Pidge’s body. “How does it feel, knowing that you’re the one putting it through this?” Zethrid asked Keith out of the blue, looking down on him. She hadn’t released Pidge, leaving her dangling against the wall by her neck. Occasionally, Pidge would kick out weakly, like she just remembered she was supposed to be struggling. Then she was being swung around to dangle right in front of Keith. “You may as well throw a few punches yourself.”Keith could only grind his teeth. If he said anything right now, he would just be encouraging her to hurt Pidge even more. She had been right of course, he did have a soft spot for Pidge, and it was absolutely unbearable to watch her getting beaten to a pulp like this. For him. When Zethrid turned her attention back to Pidge, she realized that her eyes were starting to droop. Zethrid frowned with mock concern, and she backhanded Pidge across the cheek hard enough to snap her face to the side. “We can’t have you passing out now.”She jerked her head at one of her cronies who hurried away. As she waited for him to return, Zethrid stroked Pidge’s cheek again, and brushed some loose hairs out of her face. Her hand angled Pidge’s face up to look at her more clearly. “You’re a pretty little thing, aren’t you? Even when you’re all bloody.”Keith shuddered. He almost couldn’t wait for the one who left to come back with whatever it was he went to get, if only to stop whatever the fuck Zethrid was doing right now. It was disturbing, and he didn’t like any direction that this might go in. His stomach dropped when he heard what she said next. “I’m sure some of my crew would have a fun time with you.”“No!” Keith shouted, going back to fighting as hard as he could against his bindings when he worked out what Zethrid was doing. He wasn’t entirely sure if Zethrid meant they would enjoy beating Pidge up, or if she meant something far worse, but he didn’t like the leers on the faces of every disgusting fucking pervert in here. Either way, there was no way in hell he could let them get at her. “I’ll rip your fucking throats out! Let her go!”Zethrid grinned wickedly down at him, letting him know without words that she would do no such thing. Pidge was wiggling again, but she was trembling too hard to make any progress. Blood, tears, and snot were dripping down her face. To his concern, she actually looked like she wasn’t sure what was happening. Had Zethrid really managed to hit her that hard? What a dumb question, of course she had. He had to get to her and get her the hell away from here somehow, and he had to do it before the creeps bearing down on her could lay a finger on her. But he couldn’t reach her before three of Zethrid’s men were there. One of them grabbed her hair and yanked her head back, dragging a sharp nail down her exposed neck to her collarbone, leaving a faint red trail. Another grabbed her arms and jerked them harshly behind her back, and another seized her jaw and squeezed the tender skin there. She tried to say something, but no sound got out before the one behind her smacked a hand down over her mouth. Pidge was sobbing around the hand that was covering her mouth, and Keith wasn’t far behind her when the thug that Zethrid had sent away returned, empty handed. “Captain, I’m sorry I didn’t bring back any smelling salts, but I was told that we’ve arrived, and that I was to tell you immediately.”Keith could’ve kissed him. A distraction like that was just what they needed, and it got everyone but Zethrid’s hands off of her. “Ah. Thank you Yondor.” Zethrid looked down at the small girl she was holding, then at Keith. With an exaggerated sigh, she tossed Pidge down at him like she was throwing away a piece of trash. He did his best to catch her, but with his hands tied, there wasn’t much he could do to keep her head from banging into his, or to keep her from tumbling down to the floor with a grunt. “We’ll be back later to continue.”With that threatening promise, Zethrid turned around and walked out, followed closely by her henchmen. “Pidge?” He tried to sound relaxed, but he knew he was failing miserably. Keith looked down at her, and put a hand on her cheek as gently as he could. It took a moment for her to come to her senses, but when she finally did, she threw herself at him. She was still shivering violently, and whimpered as she grabbed at him. “Keith- Keith don’t let them t-touch me. Please d-don’t let them.”He brought his arms down around her as best he could.  He had never seen her so scared before. Not that he could blame her. He’d probably be in the same boat had those threats been directed at himself. “I won’t Pidge. I swear I won’t. I’m gonna get us both out of here. I need you to do something though. Can you get my hands free? I need to have my hands if we’re going to escape.” He spoke slowly and as calmly as he could manage. She was close enough now for him to see that her pupils were unevenly dilated, and her nose was definitely broken. Pidge nodded and set to work getting his hands free. It took longer than it might have normally. She kept blinking and frowning down at her hands- her shaking hands, that made the simple task much harder. And he was right there with her, feeling rather shaken himself. And overwhelmingly guilty. Like Zethrid said, he might as well have been throwing the punches himself. And here she was, looking to him for protection. As soon as he was free, he wrapped his arms around her to give her a real hug, as tight as he could. One hand had gone up and cupped the back of her head, and the other one was rubbing small circles on her back. Normally he wasn’t huge on hugging, but he felt he owed her this one small comfort. She returned it with fervor. This was sure to stick with her for a while. It was all his fault. Zethrid had done this because of him. Suddenly he was having a hard time not crying. Shit. He couldn’t, not now. Push it down, save it for later. He needed to be strong for her, to get her as far away from here as physically possible. Okay. First things first. He needed to find out where they had arrived at. Wherever they were, there was sure to be some sort of communications center. Maybe if they got there, they could contact the Atlas and get an evac. That seemed like their best bet for now. But first he needed to know- “Pidge, can you walk?”She paused a second before answering, closing her eyes and taking inventory of her body. She was hurting- really hurting- but she was sure she could power through. Power through… through walking, right, she could do that. So she nodded. “I think I can.”He would’ve preferred a ‘yes’ to ‘I think I can’ but that’s what he got. And it was better than a ‘no’. “Okay, I think I have a plan.”Pidge nodded again once he recounted his idea for her. She didn’t offer up any other ideas or suggestions, and Keith wasn’t sure if he should take that as a good thing or a bad thing. He couldn’t even tell how much she’d understood. But again, he would just have to take it. Now to figure out just how exactly to get out. Keith studied the bars of the cell closely. They weren’t anything fancy. He was able to summon his bayard and slice through them easy enough. Apparently Zethrid hadn’t realized he was able to do that. He walked through the hole he’d made first, looking up and down the hallway to make sure it was safe for Pidge. When he was satisfied that they were alone, Keith looked back and gestured for her to follow him. And she did, cautiously, creeping out like a mouse on watch for a hungry cat. Which, he supposed, was basically what she was right now. A proud Lion, reduced to a scared little mouse. It was unnerving to see her like this. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her like this- he wasn’t even sure if there had been a last time. She was fierce. She didn’t get scared easily. Apparently Zethrid was in the small category that did frighten her. All the more reason to get her out of here. Confidence. He was sure she would feel more at ease if he just convinced her that he was confident about their escape. If she sensed any weakness, it was no doubt going to be a blow to her tenuous feelings of security with him. So he kept his head up and shoulders squared as they hurried through the hallways. And he was starting to actually build up some real confidence for himself. It was so empowering. Then an intercom sounded, and Pidge just about jumped out of her skin. “The prisoners have escaped. Recapturing them is now of the highest priority. First one to reach them gets the first turn at the girl.” Zethrid’s rough voice was followed by a loud alarm and flashing white lights. The terror was back as Pidge grabbed at Keith’s arm. Damn it. Right back to square one. “Keith, they know- they’re gonna catch us! And I’ll be- she’ll let them- Zethrid will let her crew…”She quieted when he took her once-again trembling hands in his. He was a little panicked himself, but he couldn’t let her know that. “They aren’t going to catch us. I’ll kill anyone who even comes close to you. Look, we have a head start, and they have no way of knowing where we’re going.”Neither did they, really, but that was another thing she didn’t need to hear. She probably knew anyways. She wasn’t an idiot. But he really needed her mind to be as clear as possible right now, so he was saying whatever he could to keep her from freaking out too badly. She was hurt, and scared, and probably having to fight to focus on where she was right now. Now that he thought about it, Keith wasn’t even sure if she actually knew what was happening. It was possible that her brain was just throwing her in this position, in pain and totally lost, surrounded by people who wanted to hurt her. No wonder she was close to tears again. And that was exactly where Pidge’s head was at. Everything was loud, and the alarm’s flashing lights only added to the pounding in her head. She could vaguely remember threats- words that made her shudder and brought her dangerously close to vomiting. Threats that were far too close to being a reality. Every few steps she took seemed to erase, then bring back bits of memory, leaving her confused and anxious. Why couldn’t it all just stop for a minute? If she could just have a minute to try and clear her head a little, she was sure she would be fine. “No Pidge, I’m sorry but we need to keep going. I need to get you out of here. Once we get out, then we can find some place to take a breather.”Huh. Apparently she’d been talking. She felt a warm weight in her hand then, comforting and so wonderfully solid in the spinning world around her. Pidge looked down to find Keith holding her hand and pulling her along. Oddly enough, it helped. It didn’t make her hurt any less, or make the blaring alarms stop, but in some way, it made it a bit easier to remember what they were doing. That hand wasn’t going to leave her behind.She was still running slower than she was normally capable of, and Keith was struggling not to groan and just drag her into a sprint. All things considered though, she was holding up about as well as he could’ve expected. If he had been right about her having some broken ribs earlier, then she was probably running about as fast as she was could. Patience. He needed to have patience. But while he would’ve liked nothing more than to let her sit and recuperate, they simply didn’t have the time. There was no way he could allow her to fall back into Zethrid’s claws. When he heard shouting approaching them, Keith tugged on Pidge’s hand again to urge her to speed her back up. Luckily his urgency was wearing off on her, and she went along with him, fighting the thick fog that threatened to overwhelm her. One foot in front of the other. Left, right, left, right. She just… needed to focus on that. Unfortunately, focus wasn’t exactly in her vocabulary right now, and it was unbelievably hard to do. She could hardly remember why they were running right now. She would still get the occasional flash of a cruel face, or remember snippets of threats the had been directed at her that would encourage her to keep going. But those were growing few and far between. Then Keith felt the small hand he was holding jerk to a stop and drop with a yelp. Keith spun around to see Pidge on the ground with her ankle twisted the wrong direction. God fucking damn it. Of course. Of course this would happen. Why the hell not? Nothing else was going right, might as well give the poor girl a sprained ankle. The cherry on top. ‘… My crew would have a fun time with you.’Before he could even think to help her, Pidge was pulling herself up on the wall and starting to stumble forward, spurred on by those words playing in her head. She was a damn trooper. As quickly as he could, Keith rushed over to stand on the side with her injured ankle. He had to crouch down to wrap her arm over his shoulders. A part of him was actually starting to hope that someone would show up. With every passing second, the desire to beat the ever-loving shit out of someone was growing. They were moving so much slower now, it would take a miracle for them to not get caught. Didn’t they deserve a miracle right now? Pidge certainly did. He still had his armor on. Shouldn’t the Atlas have been able to track them down that way? Maybe they were. Maybe they were already on their way. That was a plausible idea. Shiro wouldn’t just let them go if he could find them. An unpleasant realization hit him when he thought about what had happened to the otter Paladins. Were they okay? If the trap had been primarily for him, did that mean they were left behind? ‘Please let that have been what happened.’Keith stilled when he heard footsteps approaching from ahead, and Pidge followed suit. Damn. He’d wanted a fight, but not while Pidge would be caught in the crosshairs. He pulled her off to the side against the wall and placed himself in front of her. They would get to her over his dead body. Naturally he hoped it wouldn’t come to that- Pidge would have an extremely hard time getting out of here on her own in her condition. He brandished his bayard, preparing himself for a fight. Whoever it was had to be getting close to the corner in front of them. Keith glanced back at Pidge one last time before starting to charge down the hall and around the corner. Best to get the jump on them, rather than wait for them to come to him. When he turned to face them, he was surprised to see Shiro and Curtis standing there. They looked just as surprised as he did. “Shiro- oh thank god, you guys are here! Why didn’t you radio us?”“We didn’t know if you had your helmets. And we didn’t want to risk giving ourselves away if they had been taken,” Shiro answered. He had a smile on his face, relieved to see his adoptive brother out and able to fight. “Have you been able to find-““Keith?” A timid voice called out from where Keith had emerged from, startling them all. Kicking himself mentally for forgetting about her, Keith turned around and sprinted back to Pidge without offering an explanation to Shiro or Curtis. She hadn’t moved from her place on the wall, and watched with wide eyes as he cleared the distance towards her. “Pidge! It’s okay, it was just Shiro,” Keith promised her, once again taking her hand to guide her down towards them. She leaned heavily on him, and Keith had a feeling her ankle wasn’t doing any better. And if he had to guess by the expression on her face, neither was the rest of her body. “They found us. They’re gonna get us out of here.”She went along with him, albeit a little suspiciously. She relaxed a little when she saw that it was indeed Shiro, but she didn’t release her grip on Keith. Shiro frowned, then raised an eyebrow at Keith. All he received in reply was a barely perceptible head shake. A silent ‘I’ll tell you later.’Curtis didn’t miss the interaction, but he didn’t say anything either. Instead he led by example and started walking back in the direction they had come from. He and Shiro had their hands free, and had taken up the job of defending Keith and Pidge without question. With them leading, it was only a short walk to the exit of the absolute fortress that Zethrid flew. “Alright, I’m going to go let the crew know we need to leave right away,” Shiro said, catching Keith’s eye and nodding. He sprinted ahead, leaving Curtis there to keep an eye on  Keith and Pidge as they trudged along as quickly as they could. Which wasn’t very quick. But Keith was feeling much better than he had been just a few minutes earlier. They were still technically in enemy territory, but now with the crew of the Atlas, they outnumbered the enemy by far. It took them longer that it would’ve taken to reach the Atlas, had Pidge not been injured. But as it was, they still made it, and they both survived. Keith could only imagine how they must’ve looked. Limping along, supporting a battered Pidge who was so exhausted she could hardly form individual words. The first person running up to them was Matt. He didn’t even acknowledge Keith. He hurried to stand in front of Pidge, reaching down to cup her cheeks and look at her eyes. “Katie?”“Mm. Matt?” Pidge blinked as she struggled to focus on him. “There she is.” Matt looked incredibly relieved, as he bent his knees to take her off of Keith’s hands. “What happened?”“That’s… a long story.” Just then, exhaustion hit him like a bus, leaving him swaying where he stood. “Then it can wait.” Where had Shiro come from? Hadn’t he gone to address the Atlas crew? Didn’t matter. Keith was just grateful that he wasn’t going to have to answer any questions any time soon. He felt like there were some questions he wanted to ask, but for the life of him, he couldn’t think of them. He’d just spent the last who-knows how long running for his life- and Pidge’s. Wait- where had Pidge gone? Keith’s heart stopped when he realized he couldn’t see her anymore. “Where- where’d she go? Shiro, where’s Pidge?”Shiro looked alarmed when Keith grabbed his arm desperately. “Keith, it’s okay, Matt just took her to the infirmary. Calm down. You’re both safe now. It’s alright.”Keith stared at him blankly while he processed what Shiro had said. It took him longer than it should’ve. When he did, Keith just shook his head slowly and ran a hand through his hair. “No it’s not. It was my fault she got hurt. She went through- if you had heard the way Zethrid was talking about her, what they were going to do- Shiro, she hurt Pidge to get to me. Because she knew I care about her. And Pidge was so scared-“ his heart ached when he thought of Pidge’s face as they ran. She hadn’t deserved any of that. He felt Shiro’s hand on his shoulders, and forced himself to meet his eyes. “You can’t do this to yourself. You can stand around and blame yourself all day. But you weren’t the one throwing the punches. You were trying to stop them. Alright? And blaming yourself- that’s exactly what Zethrid wants you to do. She wants you to feel bad, even when you’re far away from her. And Pidge is going to be fine”“Well it worked. I feel terrible. Pidge is probably gonna live with this hanging over her head for the rest of her life.”“And so are you, if you don’t let yourself move past it. I’m not saying you have to right away. But you need to let yourself heal.” Shiro knew Keith well enough to know that he was going to be internalizing this and letting it fester in his mind. The sooner he could plant the seeds of self-forgiveness, the less likely he was to hurt himself like that. “Come on, you need to rest. Okay? You look like shit.”It wasn’t often the Shiro would cuss in front of other people. If he was the one saying that, then Keith knew he had to be looking really rough. So he went with Shiro to the infirmary himself, peeling off his armor as they walked. When they arrived, Keith was guided towards a bed near the end of the room. He tried to catch a glimpse of Pidge, but the only Holt he saw was Matt talking to one of the medical staff members. He didn’t look too upset, so Keith took that to mean Pidge was doing okay. It was that thought that allowed him to fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. •••Pidge screamed and writhed as she felt even more hands grabbing at her. Some were pulling out hair, others were hitting, scratching, prodding, tearing at her clothes. Hands, just endless hands hurting her body. A seemingly unending sea of hands. She no longer had any control over herself. Her every movement was dictated by the hands. But despite that, she didn’t stop screaming. She was going to fight them in any way she could. Even when one of them clamped down over her mouth, she still whimpered and wiggled as best she could. It was no good though. Her face and chest were sore, and growing uncomfortably stiff. She wasn’t going to get out of this. Not by herself. Her body was rigid now, and she couldn’t move at all.  Her eyes were sliding shut. Despite every brain cell she had screaming at her to keep struggling, it was just too hard. More and more hands were dragging her down, somewhere she didn’t want to go. She wanted to be back up where she had been before the hands. That had been a simple place. She had been able to just sit and breathe. It wasn’t a struggle, or a constant violation of personal space. God she just wanted to get away from them. Her eyes cracked open blearily for one last look up. Any minute now, one of those hands would cover her eyes, and prevent her from seeing at all. Honey eyes widened when they took in another hand, right in front of her. It wasn’t grabbing, it wasn’t suffocating, it wasn’t trying to drag her down. This hand was reaching down from up above her, like it was reaching down to pull her up. It didn’t seem possible that this one hand would be able to do anything, but she struggled for it like it was a lifesaver. The hand was warm and strong when she finally managed to grasp it. She refused to let go, even at first when it felt like nothing was happening. But she realized that it really was pulling her up. It was slow going- the other hands didn’t want to let her go. But the higher she got, the fewer hands there were to drag her down. And the ones that were left had no chance of getting at her with the hand that was saving her. It was stronger than the other feeble hands trying to seize her once again. She was rising, ascending through hell by way of what Pidge could only think of as an angel’s hand. As she neared the top, it felt like she was able to see a fuzzy face start to come into focus. It got clearer and clearer with each passing moment as she neared the light it was bathed in. Who’s face was it? She was having difficulty placing it. Dark hair, piercing eyes, a worried frown. She knew this face. She knew who it was. She just… couldn’t remember… the name.Light flooded her eyes as realization hit. It was-“Keith!” Pidge woke up with a gasp, sitting upright. “W-what…?”She looked around frantically, but stopped quickly to groan when the movement caused flashes of pain. The short glance she had gotten of the white room told her that she was back on the Atlas, and if she had to guess by how her body felt, she was in the medical area.Taking a heaving breath, Pidge laid back down and wrapped her arms around herself. After the dream she’d just had, she didn’t particularly want to go back to sleep. But she couldn’t move, and there wasn’t much she could do when she was laying still in a bed but drift off once again, and hope for the best. •••“Keith. Hey, Keith, wake up. Pidge is awake and she was asking about you.” Lance was shaking his shoulder as he spoke. Sometimes Keith could wake up after hearing a bug skittering across the floor. Other times it took a bullhorn and some physical contact. Looked like this was one of the other times. But this was the first time the Pidge had been up and talking for a long enough time to hold a conversation, and she wanted Keith. Lance considered picking him up and carrying him to Pidge, but decided against it. He wasn’t interested in getting out of a chokehold. So Lance kept shaking Keith and talking to him loudly until one gray eye peeled open to squint up at him. “There you go. Come on, it’s time to get up.”With a groan, Keith sat up and stretched before he stood. “How long was I asleep?”“You were coming up on thirteen hours, if you can believe that.” He couldn’t believe it. Keith had never slept that long in his entire life, and once he was in space, he rarely got more than six. Was he supposed to feel refreshed? Because he didn’t. He felt just as tired as he had when he’d entered the Atlas three days ago. Now that he thought about it, Keith was surprised that it had taken two and a half days for him to crash that hard. It had been a busy two and a half days though. “Did you say Pidge wanted to see me?”“Yup. She wanted to talk to you about something.” Lance was watching Keith carefully.“About what?”“Beats me. She didn’t really want to talk to any of us- not even her family.”That was enough to prompt Keith to pull on a baggy shirt and walk with Lance to where Pidge was resting.  When she saw Keith, she actually smiled. She waved him over, so he sat beside her on her temporary bed.“So how are you feeling?” Keith asked. “Been better. Been… way better. Still a bit sore. Shiro mentioned you were a bit pissed off with yourself.”Damn it, Shiro. He was just totally incapable of keeping anything to himself. He was almost as bad as Hunk. That was the last time he’d share anything with him, Keith decided. “Well, I guess I’ve been better too.” Keith tried to offer up a smile, but he had a feeling he was failing. “Pidge… You shouldn’t have… you shouldn’t have gone through that. Zethrid- and I didn’t even do-“He cut off, grinding his teeth, but Pidge could guess what he was going to say. Sharing feelings wasn’t something either of them were particularly good at, which was usually why they were able to get along. They didn’t need to talk too much to understand one another. But this time was different. There was something Keith wanted- needed to say to her, and she wasn’t sure how to make it any easier for him. It felt like she should have been reassuring him, but she knew that Keith would take that as her patronizing him, and he wouldn’t like that. So she chose to just stay silent, and let him take the time he needed to get there. “They captured her,” he finally said. “Zethrid. She’s in a holding cell. I thought Lance was going to try and kill her. And I’m pretty sure Shiro would’ve let him, after he heard what she- what happened.”“That’s good. I’m glad she’s not running around anymore. Wish they’d put her somewhere else though.”Keith nodded understandingly, then sighed. “Pidge, I’m so sorry. It was my fault this all happened. Zethrid used you to get at me. And I couldn’t stop her. I couldn’t protect you. And now, I look at you and all I can see is just… how scared you were. And even though it was my fault, you still… I don’t know, you still wanted me to stay with you.”Pidge had watched him carefully as the words spilled out. She was mostly expressionless, up until the last sentence, where she frowned at him. “Of course I did. I was scared. I don’t actually remember… very much. What I do remember- most of it I wish I didn’t. But I remember you. It would’ve been easier for you to just leave me and come back with help. You didn’t though. You brought me with you, and you did protect me. It was a- bad situation all around. But it wasn’t your fault. And she would’ve killed you if she hadn’t gotten to me.”“Yeah, but she would’ve killed you if it hadn’t been for that guy distracting her.”“Well she didn’t. Neither of us died. I’m counting this as a win.”Keith looked at her a moment before smiling and shaking his head ruefully. “I don’t think any of us won this time.”Pidge sighed and looked down at her hands. “Yeah. You’re right.”“You know, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that to me.”“First time I’ve said that, and I’m agreeing with you calling us losers.” They both laughed weakly, but Pidge stopped quickly and reached up to tenderly touch her face. “Ugh. It hurts my face to smile, and it hurts my chest to laugh.”Her complaining didn’t make Keith feel any better, but he tried not to let it bother him too much. He reached out and gently held up her chin to get a good look at her. Her face was a mess of black and blue bruises, and Keith knew that her chest and stomach weren’t looking much better. Once again, he sighed. No matter what she said, he was still going to feel at least a little guilty whenever he saw her. Because no matter how she felt, he knew that he was at least partly responsible. The fact of the matter was, if not for him, she wouldn’t have been targeted. Like she knew what he was thinking, Pidge reached up and took his hand. “We’re both here, Keith. That’s what matters. We made it.”

[secretradiobrooklyn]

The Singing Senator Edition | 5.22.21

Secret Radio | 5.22.21 | Hear it here.

1. Dara Puspita - “Bertamasja”

Dara Puspita was an Indonesian band, active right from the start of rock n roll — like, they jumped into it in 1964. I love how it sounds like gnarly garage rock until the lead guitar tone pulls out and reveals a super VU sound. With a surf structure! It’s just about a perfect nugget of song. 

2. Yol Aularong - “Sou Slarp Kroam Kombut Srey (Rather Die Under a Woman’s Sword)”

Yol Aularong has the wildest voice, and total commitment to rock’s magic transformative power, even in a context where he was risking his life. He does things that would make Screamin’ Jay lean back and appreciate. The arrangements and his delivery just o’erbrim with life and character. 

3. The Psychedelic Aliens - “We’re Laughing”

This band is like Atomic Forest in that they’re just the answer to any collector’s wildest dreams of rarity: they’re a Ghanaian band who released exactly 8 songs and were big in the Accra scene. The groove of this song, especially in headphones, is just mesmerizing, and his delivery gets gradually more and more abstract. It sounds like Marijata and what I wish WITCH sounded more like. Undeniable.

- Glenn Miller Orchestra - “Sunrise Serenade”

4. Prewar Yardsale - “Turn On (Live Peel Session)”

We got into Prewar Yardsale through Jeffrey. Because we got into this band that he introduced us to, he said he had some rarities and other tracks. That he sent our way, and this is from that.  

5. Chai - “In Pink (feat. MNDSGN)”

I think first it was the New York Times, then the Guardian, then the New Yorker all writing about this band essentially in the same week — and we definitely had no idea what they sound like. This song had just debuted on YouTube 18 hours earlier. I think, especially now through repeated listens, it’s a rad track. I love the way MNDSGN winds his vocals into the song, then has his passage, then smoothly winds his way out again. It’s like meeting a really interesting person at an already cool party.

6. Waipod Phetsuphan - “Ding Ding Dong”

Siamese music — Thai music. The guitar part is so primal and the drums so bright in the fills and meanwhile it sounds like he’s casting a spell. And what a refrain.

7. Jacques Dutronc - “J’ai me un tigre dans ma guitare”

One of the greats — I have loved every song of his I’ve ever heard. This song really makes me appreciate his band, especially his drummer. 

8. Orchestra Baobab - “Kelen Ati Leen”

When we started WBFFing, it was partly because we were being blown away by the indisputable proof of James Brown’s influence on, and interaction with, the entire world. I don’t think I realized JB was a lot bigger than the Beatles in huge swaths of the world. This track is fundamentally expressing a JB groove and doing their own entire thing at the same time. The lead vocals’ flavor is just off the charts and the band is SO tight. 

9. Pierre Vassilou - “Qui c’est celui-là?”

What IS this song? It’s in French but it sounds like Brazil — I guess really it sounds like Os Mutantes. 

10. Betti-Betti w T.P. Orchestre Poly Rythmo - “Mahana”

The abundance of T.P. Orchestre keeps on giving. This beautiful, beautiful song is from an album they did with Cameroonian star Betti-Betti, who basically expressed the pain of her country so precisely that the whole nation mourned her passing when she died young. This melody is just stunning, and the harmony 

- Stunt Double - “Be My Baby”

Ace track from some of our favorite people in all of LA.

11. Bug Chaser - “Crowley’s Kids”

I don’t know if Bug Chaser is active at the moment, but some of our favorite STL shows have been watching and/or playing with Bug Chaser. We did the City Museum rooftop twice — and we split favorite VU songs at the Lou Reed Farewell show. Two drumsets, way too much information per track, and an epic live show with a lead character who knows how to lose himself in a song.

12. Eko Roosevelt - “Attends Moi”

We learned about Eko Roosevelt by glimpsing him in a movie about Betti-Betti. He’s a handsome bearded gentleman behind a piano. The first songs by him that got us were super heavy disco, but this one has its own special power. Lately Paige has been singing and playing it on guitar — I’m kind of hoping that we hear her version of “Attends Moi” in another broadcast.

13. Manzanita y Su Conjunto - “Shambar”

One of the sweetest musical gifts in our life has been the discovery of Analog Africa’s ever-growing musical jackpot. They sent their list a note recently about an upcoming record focused on Manzanita y Su Conjunto and their path through cumbia music, and there are two  tracks available now counting this one. We’ll be getting this record, this shit is amazing.

Paige: “I gotta get in touch with Mrs. Link.”

14. Lizzy Mercier Descloux - “Fire”

This song is from her 1979 debut, “Press Color,” and man, what an undeniable new character on the scene! She was based in Paris, hooked up with Michel Esteban, and together they not only established a store of crucial Parisian punkness but also published a fucking MAGAZINE called “Rock News”!! While making music like this! Eventually they moved to New York in 1977 (natch) and as far as I know just continued to be the coolest humans on Earth. I can’t wait to share some of her other tracks with you — besides the brilliant first album, there’s a whole record called “Zulu Rock”! 

15. Os Mutantes - “A Minha Menina”

And as always I think: What did the Beatles think of this music?! They must have known about it, they must have. To me it really brings a whole additional level that the Beatles wanted to get to but literally didn’t know how — and Os Mutantes did. 

16. Suburban Lawns - “Janitor”

Sometimes I wonder why something that sounds so objectionable can be the most vital music in the world. Like, nothing about the lyrics or the way this song is sung should be appealing — and instead, this song is brilliantly undeniable. It’s even better when you see them performing it. If you don’t know what they look like, I guarantee you she will be a surprising character.

My favorite words on it ever are something someone wrote as a comment under the video of their TV performance of this song: “Spent 15 years as a janitor. Can confirm every word.”  

17. Sinn Sisamouth and Ros Serey Sothea - “Mou Pei Na”

These two are just amazing characters in the pre-Khmer Rouge Cambodian music world. Ros Serey Sothea’s voice is totally unique, and Sisamouth has a sincere urgency that gives the whole song a surprising narrative shape.

18. Ranil - “Ángel Terrenal”

Analog Africa again — the cure for what ails you. They are truly combing the world for music that amazes. They played the length of the Amazon river and did their best to stay out of big cities after a bad experience with a record label. So they released these psychedelic jungle masterpieces on little slabs of vinyl that they sold up and down the river. Can you freaking believe that?��

- Salah Ragab - I believe you are responsible for telling us about Salah Ragab, Josh Weinstein. So good.

Also, as promised, further information about glue traps and why they’re so harsh (and how to pull off a successful rescue!) can be found here.

19. Dagi D - “Beka”

I feel like I knew my musical life had changed when I started thinking of every visit to an Ethiopian restaurant as a valuable moment to learn as much about the music as possible — especially Meskerem in St. Louis, it must be said. It turns out modern Ethiopian pop music is super addictive and can easily get stuck in your head for days. 

20. Raxstar - “Jaaneman”

We’re still pretty new to Kensington, our neighborhood in Brooklyn. We knew that a Muslim holiday called Eid al-Fitr was happening, and when it was happening, but we were still surprised by what a joyous holiday it was in our neighborhood. Everyone of all ages was out in their fines, which involved a whole lot of sequins and shining metallic threads. The men wore a lot of caftans and those excellent long shirts and/or jackets, most with beautiful patterns. We went for a long walk and just enjoyed seeing a holiday at full pitch — excited kids and tutting grandmas, people carrying big flower arrangements (in the shape of a crescent and star!), heavy-looking tins of food headed toward a feast, even fireworks overhead. We crossed paths with a group of dudes all dressed up in various states of celebration, from a sharp Western-style two-piece suit to an even sharper South Asian suit with a Nehru collar and snug caftan. It looked like they had just finished the parental part of the night and were deciding where and who to meet up with — exactly like, say, Thanksgiving night in your hometown. It felt like, from Coney Island to McDonald, Church to Cortelyou, it was New Year’s Eve for everyone but us. 

After our walk we returned to our apartment and set up a little folding table out back to enjoy a glass of wine in the warm air. Our neighbors across the fence were still in the midst of family time, with tons of kids running around, including a teensy little girl on a tiny little pink scooter and a gaggle of beautifully awkward teens in the posture and attitude that says “stand by your cousins and let me take your picture.” As the evening wore on and the parents drifted back inside, the young adult contingent got a speaker going, and soon we were catching tracks we’d never heard before. The one that made us first pay attention was “Jaaneman,” with the vocalist’s super-charismatic delivery and priceless accent. We found ourselves Shazaming song after song, and thus started learning about Desi hip hop, a whole world of East Asian immigrant tracks that offer a lens into life in the US and UK that I haven’t really seen since watching “My Beautiful Laundrette” many years ago. Fascinating!

“Jaaneman” literally means “soul of me,” but translates to “my love” or “my darling.” Check out Raxstar — I’d love to see him play SNL and get an impression of what he’s like live. Just last month he released “Forever Jaaneman,” which updates his original smash hit and is also a very strong track.

21. Nate Smith - “Spress Theyself”

One of the last shows we got to see in St. Louis was Nate Smith at Jazz at the Bistro, and holy smokes, what a pleasure to see him do his thing up close. I love this solo album because it sounds like a practice sesh that died and went to heaven. It doesn’t have a song’s logic, but it does follow the feel of a great intuitive exploration of a beat, wandering through subdivisions and feel variations with complete ease. 

22. Jefferson Airplane - “White Rabbit”

This is Paige’s call. I think it’s cool because I can hear the direct connection between this and Erkin Koray’s Anatolian psych rock style, which I previously had no idea about. This listen through, we’ve both been appreciating how overwhelming massive Grace Slick’s voice is.

23. Marie France - “Dereglée”

Another cut off the fantastic Born Bad Records comp “Paink,” and more proof that punk was happening in other languages at the same time. (Though I think they called themselves “méchant”… or denied being méchant, depending) The album art reveals that Marie France happened to look uncannily like a punk Marilyn Monroe, which only makes both MM and MF cooler. 

24. Operation Ivy - “One of These Days”

I was never for one second a punk in high school, but I knew that the Op Ivy t-shirt was the essence of functional punk.

- Shin Joong Hyun - “Moon Watching”

25. Shin Joong Hyun - “Spring Rain”

This guy has an otherworldly sense of melody and performance that indie rock only starting catching up with decades later. This is the guy sometimes referred to as the “Korean godfather of rock.” He was active from the early ‘60s til 1975, when he was arrested, tortured and banned in South Korea. Eventually, the leader who had hammered down on him died, and he was able to begin piecing his life back together. These iconic, evocative, cinematic recordings would sound great in any decade. 

Spoiler: it wasn’t! We walked across the bridge and it was a thoroughly magical New York evening. 

[your-eyez-look-like-coming-home]

Hi Taylor! Thank you for absolutely everything! I still cannot believe you wanted me there to listen to reputation on Friday and that I finally got to hug you and thank you for what you´ve done for me. I´m so proud of you, I love the album and I love you - so much!! 

I was able to give my letter to you to Taylor Nation and I hope you got it. But just in case it hasn´t crossed your path yet, I wanted to post it on here too: 

Hi Taylor!

My name is Line and I´m from Norway! (You knew that, WHAAAT??)

I´ve been a big fan of you and your music for years. I first saw you in Oslo during the Speak Now World tour, and then I traveled to see you in Cologne and Amsterdam for three nights during the 1989 tour. And then the sweetest gal that is Emma (@ileftmyscarfthere on tumblr!) invited me to Houston with her for your SuperSaturday Night Show! Your concerts truly are my happy place, and I cannot wait for the reputation tour! At your second show in Cologne and on your show in Amsterdam I went by myself, and it was honestly such a magical feeling, dancing like no one was watching, not caring about stares from strangers and just dancing and singing my heart out. I just want to thank you for making your concerts a place where dancing on your own can be so much fun.

I also want to thank you for bringing so many amazing people into my life, from ALL over the world. I´m a pretty shy person, and I don´t have a super big circle of friends back home, but because of you I´ve crossed paths with so many lovely people, and there´s no words to fully express how thankful I am for that. I was bullied in middle school, and for large parts of my life I´ve felt like I don´t fit in. But then there´s you and this fandom - being a part of your fandom gives me a feeling of belonging.  The fandom is the kindest community I’ve ever gotten to know, and I’m so immensely thankful to you for bringing so many amazing people into my life. I could name so so many amazing people here (because the fandom is filled with them!), but I want to give a special shoutout to these amazing people:

My groupchat loves: 

Silke: @onabalconyinsummerair MY GLITTER BUDDY. This gal is literally glitter in human form. So funny, so enthusiastic, so sassy and I love her and her big heart so much. P.S. I CAN 113% RECOMMEND FOLLOWING HER ON TUMBLR.

Ruby @crystalskiees – an amazingly talented photographer, and a fierce and wonderful human and friend. She dares to dream big and follow those dreams, and I admire her so much for that.

Ella  @ella-swift on tumblr – Ella is such a radiant and strong gal. Super smart and hardworking, and I love her so so much!! I really hope to meet her this era!

Rosalie – @rosalieswiftie Rosalie is such a kind soul. She is incredibly wise and super smart!!

Sigrid – @hearyourvoiceinthedarkswan Sigrid has a heart of gold, and she is one of the strongest people I know. I love her so much and I´m so immensely proud of her.  

Mariza @swiftslonglive on tumblr – Mariza is pure sunshine and adorableness in human. I love her and her big fearless heart so much. I´m meeting Sigrid and Mariza again in March, and I´m so excited!

Carolina @lekkervaquita – Carolina is super loyal, she´s always there for when you need her, and she´s so kindhearted. She doesn´t love pineapple on pizza, but I still love her to pieces.

Andre – @newyorkromantics13 Andre is INCREDIBLY strong and brave, he´s an amazing and loyal friend and human with a heart of pure gold.

My travel, taco and T-Swizzle buddy

Nina @theflowerssthatwedgrowntogether – Nina and I have a shared love for traveling, tacos and you! I´ve been so lucky to meet Nina a few times, and she´s one of the first friends I made on tumblr, and she´s absolutely amazing!

Thank you for bringing these wonderful people AND SO MANY OTHER LOVELIES into my life! I have the most amazing friends because of you and tumblr, and I´m so incredibly thankful for that.

I always overthink and worry too much, and I struggle with anxiety, and I want to thank you for having music and words of advice that always help me.  I especially like to thank you for the lyric “but the monsters turned out to be just trees”. It´s one of my favorite lyrics because every time I get anxious or I over-think or worry too much about something, I use this as a reminder that things have a way of working out.

I´m so so proud of you for being yourself unapologetically and for standing up for what you believe in. As a person who spends a lot of time doubting myself, I want to thank you for being someone who inspires me to be myself unapologetically, and who reminds me to be kind to myself. You and the fandom help me feel more confident. You help me to believe in myself and remind me to be kind to myself, and for that I’m so incredibly thankful.

Your music and your words of advice are there to help me on bad days and make the bright days brighter, and I cannot thank you enough for that.

You said once that “I don’t want anyone, including your own mind and your own fears, to ruin your happiness”, and those words help me so much. You remind me of the importance of choosing happiness and enthusiasm, and I´m so grateful for that.  Because I love that we both get easily enthusiastic about the things we love. And I also love that we both love glitter and sparkly nail polish. And I love you. So much.

Thank you for making the most magical music. Thank you for being such an amazing inspiration through your music and advice, and by being exactly who you are. Thank you for being such a bright light, not only in my life, but also in the lives of so many people. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for bringing so much happiness and love into my life.

Thank you for reminding me that I’m my own definition of beautiful and worthwhile, and that I’m not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know me. You remind me that there’s great strength in being openhearted and honest, and that I’m the only one who gets decide how big my dreams can be.

You help me to believe in myself, and for that I’m so incredibly thankful. Thank you for being you, Taylor! I love you so much! ❤

Your Norwegian friend,

Line

[antivanruffles]

Title: A Million More Pairing: Jupiter/Nephrite (Sailor Moon) Rating: PG13 (for mild angst and swearing) A/N: I wrote this as part of a compilation gift for @nelwynp​‘s wedding! SO EXCITING! And I’m just now getting around to posting it. 

~ “You have no idea how many times I’ve wondered what it would be like to kiss you.” ~

1.

The reason for their first meeting is hardly anything noteworthy; a political summit, two sides aiming for peace that will likely fail within days. She is part of the visiting delegation, a guard and an ambassador.

She stands proudly behind her queen and princess, shoulders back and head held high. She looks just as fierce as the rumors portray her to be. A powerful warrior, literally head and shoulders above the rest.

He believes she is the most striking woman he has ever laid eyes on, more so than the Moon Queen or her daughter, both beautiful and remote with their silver hair and pale skin and luminous eyes. Or any of the inner court, all stunning in their own right, but with her there is something more.

Her wide eyes seem to glitter like emeralds, and they appear just as sharp; ready to cut you down if you offend her or her charges. Her auburn hair tumbles regally down her back in a cascade of curls, the locks thick and shining and he wonders idly what it would feel like to bury his fingers in it. And her full, rosy lips that beg to be kissed.

He thinks he would like to kiss her, if he wasn’t certain she would deck him for such an offense.

Still, he ponders the idea and perhaps more as the peace talks drag on and on, all the voices of those gathered blending into a loud buzz that he pays little attention to. At one point he catches her eyes across the room, and she holds his gaze.

He knows she is bored as well, tired of words that always seem to lead nowhere. Promises that mean nothing. In the briefest moment he finds in her a kindred spirit, and that bolsters him. A smile starts to curve her lips, and he wonders if his thoughts are so easy for her to read.

If she’s offended, she doesn’t show it.

So he continues wondering what it would be like to kiss her while she smiled.

2.

He keeps wondering what it would be like to kiss her over the course of the next two, three, four meetings. And countless times between. He has never known a woman like her, and he is completely infatuated. She, however, seems to find him lacking.

She hardly spares him a glance, not after their first meeting with their gazes locked. Nephrite is certain that he has done something wrong, that something has given him away. Perhaps she knows his true desires, perhaps she has heard stories of the Shitennou and their exploits. Perhaps, and this one wounds his ego no matter how much he pretends otherwise, she simply finds him displeasing.

Still, he continues to wonder for many weeks, their paths crossing at various times. Mostly when their young charges insist on seeing one another, something that is both sweet and disconcerting.

It is on one such occasion that Nephrite finds himself shoved up against a pillar, neatly blocked by her towering frame. She’s close enough for him to feel her warmth, feel the brush of her chest against his with each inhale.

She surveys him again, much like she had the first time. She’s playful, her eyes bright and mischievous. The look suits her, he thinks. She smells floral sweet, undercut with a sharp scent almost like sandalwood. It’s intoxicating.

Her lips curve upward, and his eyes drop to follow the movement. A throaty laugh escapes her barely parted lips.

“Maybe, if you’re lucky.” she whispers, and then she’s gone in a swirl of flowing skirts and auburn curls. In the distance he can hear her deep voice calling for her princess.

Nephrite wets his lips. Maybe, if he is lucky.

3.

It is not a thought he should be having in the middle of a battle. His mind should be focused on what is happening before him, not indulging in some ill-conceived fantasy. And certainly not one that is so utterly ridiculous.

Unfortunately it continues to swirl about his mind, taunting and strange and almost as if it were a memory rather than a daydream. There are rose bushes and the moon hangs full and glowing in the clear sky. The stars glitter and dance like he has never seen before, they are loud and full of mirth.

She stands before him, resplendent in a green gown that seems to change colors in the moonlight. Who she is, he is not entirely sure and yet he knows her. And something about himself is changed. Something in him feels lighter… happy.

They stand facing each other and slowly she inches forward, just until her lips barely brush his in the sweetest of kisses. His senses are alight, in the distance he can hear crickets, and the breeze that gently rustles the leaves of the trees. He feels overly warm, but it is not unpleasant. And he can smell a sweet, floral scent unlike any other, and a sharp woody musk under it.

He feels as if he could get drunk off that scent alone.

Then he is himself again, and instead of crickets he can hear the crackling of electricity; can smell ozone instead of flowers. He jumps out of the way just in time, looking up to meet a pair of wide, glittering green eyes.

She is a stranger, this new senshi dressed in green, but she is familiar. That frightens him more than he can fathom, and in a blink he is gone. Running like frightened prey.

4.

The thought haunts him, and he supposes that is more than fair, since he is forced to linger as he is. Neither alive, nor dead. Not a ghost or a spirit. He is nothing and everything all at once.

Or perhaps that is too philosophical of way to look at it, and it just proves that he has been sitting far too close to Kunzite all these years. It might be better to adopt a more cavalier approach to it all, perhaps he should be like Jadeite.

‘We’re fucking rocks, guys.’

Either way he is not a part of this world, or the next. He is not a man or a shitennou or any type of being really. It is both a reprieve and a punishment, something he is thankful for and resentful of. Mostly he is resentful, because he exists but he also does not.

Which is why the thought haunts him the way it does: her lips against his, warm and firm and oh, so tender.

He knows what it is like to kiss her, and those are vivid memories he can draw on. So he does, tries to lose himself in a time before everything was destroyed, back when he was a decent man instead of a traitor. It usually works, for a while at least.

What truly haunts him though, is the idea of kissing her in this life, with a fresh start.

Unfortunately he knows that is not for them. Not with all he must atone for, and certainly not when he was just ‘a fucking rock.’

5.

Once, he had hoped for a new life and a fresh start. He finds actually being granted the a new life is so much different than what he had dreamt of.

Life on earth is changed, mostly for the better… or so he hopes. Everything seems to have moved on without him, without the shitennou. Life has found a way, and is always moving forward, as it should. As he had always hoped, though there is a sense of melancholy to it.

His chance to once again rejoin the world, to help shape it and watch it evolve firsthand, is unexpected and surely more than he deserves. Still, he takes it for what it is: a second chance. Or perhaps at this point it is a third. Either way he is bound and determined not to waste it.

Their return is received with a range of emotions: anger, distrust, resentment, indifference. They all promise they will do what they can to earn the trust the Queen and King have bestowed upon them, they promise the same to the senshi. It is formal, the time for personal relationships seems to have been lost.

He is surprised that she watches him from afar, affecting a flippant air. And he is much reminded of the very first time they had met. When she meets his gaze across the room, he knows she is remembering the same.

Idly, and most certainly against his better judgment, he ponders again what it would be like to kiss her. Now. In this new world, with their new lives.

When a small smile curves the corner of her mouth, he dares to hope for the future.

+1.

The day is warm, the skies clear and a gentle breeze coasting through the flowerbeds, making certain the temperature remained ideal.

The flowers themselves are in full bloom, the gardens full of peonies, just starting to droop under the weight their fat purple blooms. Rhododendrons in vibrant reds and hot pink and soft white with the barest blush tower in the background.

Tulips in every shade imaginable line walkways, a rainbow stretching through the entirety of the garden. The cooling breeze brings the scent of lilacs and magnolias, the air sweet and fresh and heady.

Indeed it is the perfect day, so truly there is no reason for him to be so nervous. Yet, there he is pacing underneath a pergola, wisteria blooms dripping down and brushing against his head.

He had shooed the others away, tired of their endless chatter and vain attempts to bolster him. He knows nothing is going to calm him at this point… well, maybe a shot of strong liquor but he long ago decided that would be a very bad idea. So instead he tries to get rid of the restless energy by walking up and down, up and down, the gravel crunching under his shoes.

“It’s time.”

The fact it’s Serenity who has come to retrieve him gives him pause. He turns around and looks at her with a brow arched quizzically. She looks lovely in her grown, the palest shade of pink with an iridescence that lends it an otherworldly quality. Something truly befitting a queen.

She smiles softly at him and moves forward to link her arm with his. “The others were frightened after you nearly bit their heads off. They thought I would be safe.” Now her smile turns into a full on grin as she tilts her head back to look up at him.

“You don’t need to be so nervous, you know,” she says after they start on their way to the pavilion in the middle of the gardens. “This is as it should be. She looks beautiful, by the way,” she adds with a stage whisper.

He can’t help a smile from quirking the corner of his mouth. “Does she really?”

“Of course.” Serenity nods firmly. She starts to lead him through the back of the pavilion, makes certain he arrives at his marked place. The others are flanking him, looking amused.

Serenity adjusts his boutonniere, pats his lapel. “I’m happy for you both, and you shouldn’t worry. Not anymore. This is how it’s supposed to be.” With a final smile, she scampers down the aisle, disappearing just out of sight.

A moment passes and then the music starts, a soft lilting tune that weaves through the air. First are Lady Mercury and Lady Mars, followed quickly by Lady Venus and Queen Serenity. The princess trails behind her mother, her small hand dipping into her basket of rose petals and flinging them high to blanket the aisle.

He pays little to mind to anything further as she appears at the end of the aisle, her dress billowing about her legs, and a bouquet of roses and baby’s breath clutched in her hands. The veil atop her head of glossy curls is a gauzy affair that trails down her back, and to the floor to trail behind her.

Her cheeks are glowing and her eyes are bright, like perfect emeralds glittering against the sun. The smile she bestows him is incandescent as she starts her walk down the aisle.

Everything after is a blur, he knows they exchange their vows, is aware of Endymion prompting him when it’s time to place the ring on his bride’s finger. However, he needs no prompting when it comes time to kiss his wife.

He has fantasized about it a million times since he had first met her, so many life times ago, back when he thought he would never be privileged enough to know. So now he takes his time, and gently lays his lips against hers, barely brushing them.

One hand snakes its way to the back of her neck, the other wrapping around her waist. Then he tilts her backward, dipping her low as he deepens the kiss. Vaguely he is aware of the bawdy catcalls from his friends, the happy cheers sounding from hers.

Mostly he is only aware of the way one of her hands clutches at his shoulder, the other tangling in his hair as a soft moan sounds in the back of her throat.

Once he rights her, and pulls back just enough to admire the blissful look on her face, he realizes exactly what a lucky man he is, and how much he is looking forward to kissing his wife a million times and more.

~ Fin ~

[thephillyphiles-blog]

The Meet Cute

Meet Cute: Fact or Fiction?

If you’ve seen any romantic comedy*, then you are at least somewhat familiar with the so-called “meet cute,” that serendipitous, seemingly random, typically adorable occurrence in which two individuals meet each other and instantly connect.  In movies, it often involves some level of clumsiness at a time when neither party is actively looking to fall in love, but fate demands they come together.  Sometimes what starts out as dislike turns to understanding and affection when one individual gets to see the softer side of the other.  I love a movie meet cute, the kind that makes your heart swell and convinces you for a brief moment that if you go to enough farmers markets or record stores, you too can literally run face-first into your soul mate.  It’s organic and effortless and the two participants are good looking and it seems simple enough.

But the question facing us today is whether the meet cute is just a sweet-sounding device of romantic fiction, or if it’s actually plausible in today’s largely digital dating scene.  Is it really possible to meet someone when you’re simply going about your business and not necessarily looking to find love?  Or, forget love, is it possible to just get a date this way?  And...why am I so desperate to meet cute?

But Everyone Says It’s Impossible

I’ve run this idea of the modern-day meet cute by numerous people, both single and in relationships, of varying ages, and the consensus is bleak: no, they say, the meet cute is a myth in this day and age, it will never happen.  All agree that it’s a nice idea, but it’s simply not feasible.  For the most part, people seem to believe that dating apps have replaced almost every other method of meeting people, and that singles are so focused on swiping or on hooking up that the necessary ingredients for a chance meeting simply do not exist.  Even my therapist told me that it’s no longer possible to meet someone out and about--it just doesn’t happen anymore.

I’m not completely satisfied with this answer.  Is it possible that we’re simply not aware enough of what is going on around us to pick up on signals from potential cute meeters (someone help me with the grammar here)?  When I leave my house, I’m almost always in workout clothes with little to no makeup and dirty hair.  I have headphones in, my phone is glued to my hand, and the fact that I’ve left the house most likely means that I’m hoofing it somewhere and don’t have time to stop and pet the puppies in Rittenhouse Square Park.  I suppose my look would not be categorized as “approachable” and if someone were to approach me I wouldn’t hear them over My Favorite Murder playing in my earbuds.  If someone were to look past my disheveled appearance and the fact that I’m walking at an olympic-level pace and actually want to spark a conversation, there is almost no chance that I’d notice.  And if I did, my cynicism from years of dealing with gross guys would probably deal the final blow.  Perhaps I’m diminishing my own chances of experiencing the elusive meet cute.

Testimony on Behalf of the Meet Cute

In writing this, I am reminded of two real-life stories about girls I know meeting their now-husbands in very romantic serendipitous ways (names have been changed to preserve anonymity).  First, the story of Amy, an extremely accomplished doctor living in Philadelphia.  Amy had left Philly to do her residency, where she began a serious relationship with a fellow doctor, but when residency was over, she realized this guy wasn’t worth staying for, so she ended it and moved back home.  Being the badass that she is, Amy bought her own house in Passyunk and lived there happily with her dog, content to be single again after a trying relationship in which she felt she had lost herself.  One day, Amy was walking her dog and, in the middle of a crosswalk, a man going the opposite way stopped to pet him.  Amy was struck by how cute this man was and how good he was with her cantankerous dog, so, in an act that Amy describes as completely unlike her, she asked the man if he wanted to walk with her to the dog park.  The man, who is very shy and unassuming, was somewhat gobsmacked by her offer and agreed.  After talking for a while and exchanging numbers, the two began dating, fell in love, and got married.  They share a beautiful daughter and a beautiful life and I’ve yet to meet two people more perfect for each other.  

The second story is about Bella, a twenty-something Philadelphian who had been rather unlucky in love.  Despite her best efforts, she seemed to keep picking guys who turned out overly possessive and sometimes a little scary.  Given this past, Bella was not desperate to meet someone and she was happy to take a girls-only trip down the shore to Sea Isle City.  One evening, Bella and her friends were at a popular Sea Isle bar for happy hour and she made eye contact with a guy.  She thought he was cute but wasn’t interested in meeting anyone, and besides, he was standing and talking closely with another girl.  After a few minutes, the guy approached Bella with a drink, clearly wanting to make conversation, but she turned him down, thinking it was extremely rude of him to hit on her while he was there with another girl.  Bella is one of those girls who can shut you down with a brief withering look, so the guy went sheepishly back to his friends, defeated.  Later that evening, a mutual friend (because it’s Sea Isle and the bars are packed mutual friends) asked Bella what the guy had said to her, to which she responded he didn’t have to say anything, she saw he was with another girl.  The friend explained that the girl was actually just his cousin, nothing more.  Bella thought for a moment about whether to apologize for shutting him down.  She bought two drinks at the bar and approached the guy with one of them, sorry for the immediate brush off.  Although it was purely a good-faith gesture, the two began talking and it turned out they had much more than their friend in common.  They got married earlier this year and are incredibly happy together.

So maybe the meet cute isn’t dead after all.

*My Favorite Movie Meet Cutes (just a few favorites):

Bridesmaids (2011): Kristen Wiig meets Chris O’Dowd when he pulls her over for erratic driving, then tears up her ticket because he’s the sweetest Irish cop in Milwaukee.  Their paths continue to cross and his kindness strikes a chord at a difficult time in her life.

Silver Linings Playbook (2012): Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence meet at a dinner party and instantly begin to spar, seemingly despising each other.  But when the conversation turns to which psych meds they’re each taking, a deep connection is formed between them.

The Wedding Planner (2001): JLo’s Gucci heel is stuck in the road and she refuses to abandon it despite the dumpster hurtling toward her at full speed.  Matthew McConaughey pulls her to safety just in time, saving JLo and her shoe.

Sleepless in Seattle��(1993): possibly the most beloved meet cute in modern film history, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are perfect for each other but fate seems to keep them apart, until they finally meet on the top of the Empire State Building and they just know.

Pretty Woman (1990): Julie Roberts is a sex worker with a heart of gold who gives the antiseptic, acrophobic Richard Gere directions.  Charmed by her boldness, he performs a Pygmalion-like transformation and they realize they each have exactly what the other needs. 

When Harry Met Sally (1989): the classic polar-opposites meet cute takes place when Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan drive across the country together after college, discovering immediately that they could not be more different.  But it turns out that’s exactly what makes them perfect for each other.

What’s Next

In an effort to determine whether a meet cute is actually possible, I will attempt a few things: leaving my house more, dressing like an adult, washing my hair with more frequency, and generally trying to seem like a person you might want to interact with.  It’ll be tough, but I think I can handle it.  I also want to do a little more digging on the subject and try to determine why a meet cute seems so much better than meeting someone online, a preconceived notion that I’ve had immense trouble shaking.  So stay tuned for continued ~insights~ on this topic.

As I wrote last time, I am forcing myself to try Hinge and Bumble again.  I hope to answer many questions and try to see the upside of it all, as well as share some choice interactions.  Again, if you have recommendations for other apps or tips on how to best to approach the online game, please let me know.  If there are any topics/questions you want me to address or specific things you want me to try, feel free to contact me.  Also, if you have experiences you’d like to share please send them to me!  You will remain anonymous!

Contact and follow me at:

Twitter: @thephillyphiles

IG: @phillyphiles

Email: thephillyphiles@gmail.com

[lilyshadowwriter]

Story Replies ~ヾ(＾∇＾)

A pack of replies for @goatkibble and @simsmono! I AM FLOORED WITH APPRECIATION FOR ALL YOUR COMMENTS OH MY GOSH. THANK YOU!!!! Also I originally wrote “I AM FLOOR” lolololol. Also my computer shut down as I was doing this and this is my second attempt save me. ANYWAY, REPLIES BENEATH THE CUT! XD ^_^ <3333333333

@goatkibble: The answer to this probably became more evident in the next post when Patrick wonderingly asks Augustus, “You talked to him?” but to confirm, your second guess is walking up the right path! The name “Isaac” truthfully doesn’t mean that much to Patrick. I mean he was there the second time Augustus and Isaac crossed paths again, and Isaac introduced himself to him and said that he was “an old friend of Augustus,” but that was about the end of that before Patrick had to run off to work. He did sense some tension between the two, so he later asked Augustus if Isaac really was just an old friend, but Augustus confirmed that he was so he hasn’t thought too much of it. Of much more pressing concern is that Patrick has been trying to get Augustus to open up for ages...to the point where he’s basically assumed Augustus isn’t the type who likes to talk things out, but seeing that he talked to Isaac throws that assumption out the window. Which means perhaps that it’s not that Augustus doesn’t like to talk...maybe it’s that he doesn’t like to talk to him- or so Patrick is currently fearing :/

@goatkibble: A fair assumption and one that has been historically true and bitten Patrick in the ass more times than he cares to admit. That being said, he’s keenly aware of this issue, so he’s been trying to force himself to speak up more. He still struggles with it, but Augustus is by far the person he feels safest speaking to, so he will indeed do so...in part 2 ;)

@goatkibble: I adore how you worded this :) Gus’ sole intention is indeed to just be casual friends, but you’re likely onto something when you say the reason he feels like he’s walking across thin ice is because of something he’s not allowing himself to admit-- feelings he’s denied even before all of this happened (He’s never actually even admitted that he loved Isaac then. He’s always danced around it: “most precious,” “most important,” person.... ಠ_ಠ). Sigh. If Patrick is indeed pulled into the frigid waters too, it seems it’ll likely be because of Gus’ refusal to notice and deal with what’s right in front of him. Ironic considering the lengths Augustus goes to in order to not hurt or worry Patrick (๑◕︵◕๑)

Thank you as always for reading and commenting!

@simsmono: Lololol, truthfully that is his intention. But Gemma sees, and we see, that this goal seems one that’s easier said than actually achieved. Gus seems confident though...he acknowledges that thus far they have never just been friends, but he does feel hopeful that they can be now. And who knows? Maybe they can ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@simsmono: Hehehe, aren’t they just??

@simsmono: HFjdkfdsf THANK YOU!!! I know with stories obviously the primary thing is, well, THE STORY, but I do put quite a bit of time into my photos so it always makes me smile a bunch whenever someone mentions them. Seriously, thank you!!! <3333

@simsmono: Aha.....this honestly gets me too. Patrick is literally just focused on trying to be there for Augustus and support him the best he can even though Augustus doesn’t tell him much about what’s going on and he’s been super patient and understanding and meanwhile Augustus’ thoughts are a hundred miles away. Perhaps that’s to be expected though? He did literally just find out the truth about what happened then. It makes sense that he’d be distracted by those thoughts now. Let’s hope it’s a temporary phase......

@simsmono: Patrick is the sweetest, purest little bread roll T__T I see him in-game and I’m like omfg stop, I’m dying. Too too cute. And thank you so much!!!

@simsmono​: LOL, he sees, he sees, I promise he sees! Augustus does genuinely care for Patrick.

@simsmono​: Oh haha, well actually that guilt was because Augustus dislikes worrying others, so he felt guilty that he gave Isaac reason to be concerned about him. He feels especially guilty about it because they haven’t talked in years and now he suddenly dumped all this on him? YiKeS. Not that it bothers Isaac, but he still feels a bit guilty for that...even if talking to him really did help. AND I KNOW PATRICK’S FACE KILLS ME AND AUGUSTUS IS SO OBLIVIOUS I’M GONNA SCREAM.

@simsmono​: And cause Patrick to worry too!? And re-live this awful, awful morning again!? No way!!! ;)

@simsmono​: Patrick certainly does seem to be in a hurry to get out of there :/ And man...even more than that, honestly. By not confiding in him, Augustus has basically shown that he’s not fully comfortable with him...that maybe even he doesn’t fully trust him. This has all been a bit of a kick to the stomach for Patrick :(

@simsmono​: XD XD XD. It felt painful because he feels like Patrick kissed him out of pity. He thinks Patrick is mad at him and just hiding it. Specifically, that Patrick is mad at Augustus for talking to Isaac. Patrick tells him that it has nothing to do with that, but Augustus doesn’t entirely believe him. After all, it was literally right after he got that text that Patrick started acting weird? How could it not be that?! That’s Gus’ impression anyway. So when Patrick kisses him before leaving, the pain he’s feeling is the suspicion that the kiss is false--that Patrick just does this to cheer him up or get him not to worry or something. But he is worried. What does Patrick want to talk about? None of this sounds good and he doesn’t want to lose Patrick. As far as his feelings for Isaac are concerned, you might be a bit ahead of Augustus right now ;) At this current point in time, he’s enamored with Patrick and just wants to be friends with Isaac. He’s distantly aware that he gets a bit of a case of butterflies when he’s talking to Isaac, but right now he’s brushing this off as being nonsense leftover feelings and nothing to be concerned about. Whether it gets further than that, remains to be seen.....

@simsmono​: Oh, he knows. Remember, Augustus frequently thinks to himself that there is a very real possibility that Patrick is all that he could ever want or need in his life. He really is, at this point, committed to Patrick. As for wanting more from Isaac than he’s willing to admit, it certainly does seem that way (Gemma sees it too), but Augustus is nowhere near realizing that yet. Right now, like I said, he admits that he gets a bit flustered around Isaac and that there’s some butterflies involved, but he’s honestly not taking it too seriously. Leftover feelings from a stupid teen aged crush....feelings he thought he’d gotten rid of a long time ago. An annoyance, at best. He’s going to ignore them and try to be simply friends with Isaac. Will he be satisfied with only friendship though? I guess we shall see!!!! Thank you so freaking much for reading and commenting! <3